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plus-size-reader · 4 years

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Spin the Bottle

Shawn Hunter x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1876 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Cory’s twin sister has a huge crush on Shawn, and gets suckered into admitting it at a party

Part 2

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You had never really been into parties as a general rule.

You didn’t like all the strangers and all the pressure to be something that you weren’t. It just wasn’t your scene, and frankly, it was never going to be. You and your brother had always been losers, outsiders to the popular crowd

...but you had been invited to this party by Shawn Hunter.

Which meant that you had to go.

Shawn had been your brother’s best friend since you were children, and that meant that he had been in your life for as long as you could remember.

Honestly, it had been so long that you could hardly even remember a time before him.

He was all you’d ever had that was even close to a friend outside of your brother, and it was only a matter of time before the feelings you had for Shawn morphed into something else.

It was a classic highschool trope, falling for your brother’s best friend but you just couldn’t help yourself. Shawn was calm, cool and collected all the time.

Anyone in their right mind would be completely head over heels for him, and by the time you were in high school, you had the biggest crush on him that you were sure anyone ever had.

Still, the worst part of the whole thing was that you had to keep it a secret.

If Cory ever found out, you would never hear the end of it. You knew that, and you were also one hundred percent sure that Shawn would never share your feelings.

You knew him too well to ever live under the illusion that he would.

Shawn had dated plenty of girls, different kinds of girls, from all walks of life but never anyone that looked like you. Every girl he’d ever been attracted to was a size two at the most and you just weren’t.

You never had been, and you doubted that you ever would be, so you made a point to keep your crush all hidden away.

It was your biggest secret, and you were absolutely positive that it would never see the light of day. It was just better for everyone that no one ever found out about it.

Or at least, they never should have.

You did as good a job at keeping it hidden as possible but still, the truth always found a way to come out into the open. It was bound to happen at some point.

...And apparently, that day was today.

You arrived at the party with both males, to find the room crowded, and full to the brim with people but you were only focused on a single corner of it, the corner you were in.

Everything else was far too overwhelming to pay attention to.

Really, you were just waiting for the entire thing to end so that you could go home but just when you thought the night was wrapping up, you were proven wrong again.

From where he was standing, in the middle of a huge crowd of people, Shawn had insisted on beginning a game of spin the bottle.

It was a terrible idea really.

You had never liked that game.

It felt like a stupid excuse to humiliate other people for no reason other than the fact that you could, fueled completely by peer pressure and a desire to fit in.

However, even knowing that, you chose to partake anyway. You couldn’t help yourself where Shawn was involved.

It was pathetic and you didn’t need anyone to tell you that to come to terms with it. You knew that it was ridiculous and you would never live it down if anyone found out.

You just didn’t care.

“Who wants to go first?” he called, looking between every single person who had sat down in the circle around him, doing their very best to avoid his focused gaze.

Even the most confident girls fiddled nervously with their fingers, doing anything they could to keep from looking him directly in the face.

That was just the effect Shawn seemed to have on everyone he was around and you were, in no way, immune to the feeling. You wanted to volunteer, of course, but knew better.

If Shawn focused his attention on you for more than a few moments at a time, there was no telling how you would react. With this many people around, everyone was bound to take notice.

Still, after a few rounds, as the game continued, everyone grew more and more relaxed with one another, as did the bottle spinning.

Every part of this was nearly enough to give you a panic attack but when your turn finally did roll around, you tried to just keep your head down until it was over.

That came, of course, but not in the way you would have expected.

You reached out to grasp the bottle by the neck, giving it a hefty spin. You couldn’t even bother to look at it as it came to a stop, not willing to endure the embarrassment.

Frankly, you would have been more willing to crawl into a hole than to do this at all.

Though, just when you were sure it couldn’t have gotten worse, you looked up to find Shawn standing there, offering a hand to you. You took it, out of habit, but couldn’t really think past that.

The group of teens around you hooted and hollered as you stood from where you’d been sitting, trying to fade from this plain of existence.

This was fun for them.

Part of you wondered what he was thinking, wondered why he didn’t just refuse, moving on to the next player. It would have been easier than having to submit himself to any kind of ridicule.

Still, Shawn didn’t even seem to bat an eye at their teasing.

Not that you had much time to process that before you found yourself locked within the close confines of the hall closet, the muffled laughter still audible.

That part was added later in the game with some of the players suggesting it would be much more fun to morph the current game with seven minutes in heaven.

An even worse idea than before.

Though, even you had to admit that you were kind of glad for the privacy now. At least if Shawn was going to reject you completely, he wouldn’t do it in front of everyone you knew.

“You okay kid? I’m not gonna bite ya” Shawn teased, closing the door behind your two bodies, yanking the string to turn on the light slightly after.

You nearly retched at that terrible nickname.

It was the same thing he’d been calling you since elementary school, when it had been cute. Now that you were nearly adults, it almost felt like an insult.

You didn’t need any more reminders that Shawn didn’t see you as a dateable girl. You needed to just accept that, to him, you were never going to be more than his best friend’s sister.

“How long do you want to stand here before we can go back out?” you asked, not even operating under the illusion that he would actually want to do anything here with you.

As far as you knew, you were just going to stand here for a few minutes then you were going to go home as quickly as you could.

All you could hope for was the chance to dodge the comments on your way to the car. Those jerks were going to eat this whole thing up and you would likely never live it down.

Now, from where he was standing, Shawn was admittedly shocked.

That wasn’t the reaction he’d been hoping for.

“Geez, not even a little humor?” he teased, knitting his eyebrows together, though his lips tugged into a smile. This was just a big joke to him, or so it seemed.

You should have seen this coming.

“Did you set this up? Is this some kind of joke?” you asked, briefly considering that Shawn could have done this all for a laugh, though you didn’t think he would.

At this point, you couldn’t put that past anyone.

“Wow. What are you talking about?” he asked, all signs of that smile now gone. Up until now, he thought you were playing along with him but in that moment, that fell away.

You seemed really upset.

“What is going on? Did something happen?”

Those words came a moment later, when you didn’t answer his first question. You knew that he was worried about you, and that it was all coming from a good place but you were already too far gone to stop now.

You couldn’t just grin and bare your way out of this.

At this point, you had been doing that for too long.

“No Shawn, nothing happened and it’s never going to. I’m never going to be hot and athletic like Jennifer Bassett or exciting like Dana Pruitt” you sighed, burying your face in your hands as you spoke.

You were humiliating yourself, and it was all for nothing. Shawn didn’t even know what you were talking about.

“What? Why would you want to be?” he questioned, wracking his brain in a desperate attempt to figure out where you were going with this.

He hadn’t thought about either of them in quite some time but clearly, you hadn’t given yourself that same luxury. You had something going on, and he was going to figure it out.

No matter how long it took or how stupid he made himself look in the process.

“God! Because they’re perfect and that was why you liked them so much. I can’t be like that, and that’s why-” you scoffed, leaning down against the door until you came to rest on the floor, your words fading away the longer you went.

If you had let what you were about to say slip, nothing would ever be able to take it back.

...And Shawn seemed to realize that too.

“Why what?” he hummed, kneeling down beside you, his hand gingerly falling on your chin in a desperate attempt to get you to look at him.

You were doing that thing Cory always did, pretending like you could keep it all in though it was only a matter of minutes before you burst and told him the truth.

“Come on Kid, just tell me what’s going on. Please”

You wanted to smack that gentle, supportive man in his face for sitting there, acting like he actually cared about you but you couldn't.

You couldn’t, because he was really just gentle and supportive.

“Why you could never like me like that” you muttered, swallowing thickly as soon as those words left your lips. It was killing you, this whole thing, and you nearly cried at the thought of it.

...But you knew that would do no good.

You had made peace with the truth a long time ago, but something about tonight put a chip in that wall you’d built and it was just getting harder to cover it up.

Not that it would matter much after this.

Shawn would probably never speak to you again after this and you couldn’t blame him.

#shawn hunter #shawn hunter x reader #shawn hunter x ps reader #shawn hunter x plus size reader #shawn hunter imagine #bmw #bmw x reader #bmw x ps reader #bmw x plus size reader #bmw imagine #boy meets world #boy meets world x reader #boy meets world x ps reader #boy meets world x plus size reader #boy meets world imagine

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sepublic · 4 years

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Wing it like Witches!

Let me tell you- I was WORRIED this episode would make me sad and angsty, but instead it just made me happy and all warm inside! I know that sounds super-corny but like…

I LOVED this episode! I was worried from the promo pic that Boscha’s bullying would really get to Luz, Gus, and Willow, but… It didn’t! I mean, it still got to WILLOW hence the entire episode, but otherwise Luz and Gus were less “Wow I’m really being reminded of my insecurities from bullying” and more “I can’t believe she ACTUALLY did that. She wasted her entire school day doing that. This girl is NUTS, is she okay back home?”

(The more I see of Boscha, the more I have to wonder if she IS okay back home… Obviously not crippled with self-loathing to the extent that Amity is, but never mind.)

What’s really surprise to see though; LILITH IS A RED-HEAD!?!? I remember seeing that first pic of young Eda with two other classmates, one of whom was obscured and the other had glasses; And I thought, is THAT girl Lilith, could it be? Is the girl with the obscured face the one who stole Lilith’s lunch money, potentially that favorite character from Season 2 that Dana alluded to? My mind is racing, but either way young Eda and Lilith are utterly adorable! I do have to wonder if what Lilith had to say about Eda’s bad memory was just a jab, or something more… Given that the show has alluded to Eda possibly having amnesia with MORE than just her curse…!

Speaking of which; LILITH AND EDA GETTING ALONG! Well, sort of- I mean they’re technically adversarial by the end of this episode, but only technically. Lilith knows where the Owl House is, finally; And we get to see in this episode just how capable Hooty really IS as a security system, surprisingly enough! He even manages to capture LILITH; Though to be fair, she may not have been super-invested in the mission given this was her sister we’re talking about, but still! Coupled with Hooty mercilessly tearing apart those toys in Adventures in the Elements, and I have to wonder if he’s ever, like… KILLED people before, y’know?

…Maybe I don’t want that answer. Regardless, I love Luz’s little cheeky interference with Eda’s game, but Eda still manages to win by her last trick; Just pure, genuine skill and talent! That was a twist, I was expecting Eda to have another cheat or to be caught by Lilith, but as I said before… Eda isn’t humble, and for a GOOD reason! Lilith ain’t no slouch either, and I love that King willingly donned a cheerleader outfit just to offer support! I mean, maybe Eda MADE him, but otherwise he didn’t seem to have much of an issue so long as it was just at home!

And… I LOVE the little small moments between Eda and Lilith, where… Lilith KNOWS she has to turn her sister in, she’s getting desperate, but it’s also low-key breaking her heart to do this! And when she loses the match and just… FALLS on her knees in despair, questioning herself, and Eda picking her up? Giving her that signature ring, just to make Lilith look better? I… I LOVE these sisters, why can’t they make up?! Lilith isn’t even aiming to imprison Eda, she just wants her to join the Emperor’s Coven and continue doing stuff alongside her, like old times!

And Eda… Eda still needs her autonomy, but she knows that Lilith isn’t some cruel person. She knows that Lilith loves her sister and wants the best, that she’s in a terrible position; Eda knows how stifling the Coven System is, and while being beneath Belos provides a lot of power… It also provides a lot of PRESSURE as well! Sure, Lilith chose this… But Eda still believes that Lilith is deserving of kindness and compassion!

(Let me tell you, considering I don’t think we’ve seen any Eda clips past this episode, I was LEGIT afraid she’d get captured by the end… thank goodness!)

What’s also fascinating to note is that Emperor Belos was in charge since fiftyyears ago; Given the speculation that Eda isn’t as old as she looks, this indicates Belos is PRETTY old himself, by a large margin; Especially when one considers how long-lived Bump is! It’s a small moment telling us how he established the Coven Heads five decades ago, but I really appreciated it; And in general, this episode seems to be our final, light-hearted breather before we get into the REALLY heavy stuff… Keep in mind, our last two episodes were originally planned to air side-by-side, like a two-part season finale! On a lesser note, we see the Heximal System teacher giving a History lesson, confirming what I suspected earlier; That some subjects include students from all tracks, simply because the subject-matter applies across any and all covens, and History is one of them! Love the small world-building here!

Given how we don’t see anything else of Willow and Gus past that scene in Belos’ treasury, I have to wonder… What if those two get captured, and only Luz can escape? Amidst King –and possibly Eda- being taken as well, Luz might be looking at a one-man operation here! Which just makes her all the more impressive… Like looking at her now, even if she DOES lose against Lilith; She’d still have been going toe-to-toe with the Head of the Emperor’s Coven, even if only briefly! Luz has come a far way away from where she started as just a powerless human, and has amassed FOUR glyphs; Light, Ice, Plant, and Fire!

And BOY HOWDY is she good at them! Seriously, I bet she could’ve easily beaten Boscha in a Witch’s Duel if she wanted; Though it’s worth noting that according to Willow, Grudgby is apparently the only language she speaks… Given that shot of her room at the beginning, I have to wonder if that’s where her MAIN self-worth lies in! In the beginning Boscha acknowledges to herself that she’s hated, ‘so long as she is feared’; And her monologue low-key gives me, “Doesn’t know how to make friends so copes by putting herself above everybody else and overinflating her own self-importance under the impression that people are just secretly jealous!” vibes. (In some ways she’s like Grace from Infinity Train…)

That aside, I just get a sensation of pride from seeing how adept and adaptable Luz is, and the way she learned Fire from Boscha of all people –Which I called!- is both hilarious but goes to show what kind of a learner she is… I feel like Eda, like we’ve watched our kid grow and get stronger and I can’t WAIT to see what she pulls off next! Amidst her learning Magic and then defying the Coven System… you go Luz, YOU GO!

And, it seems I’m not the only person who shares this sentiment! Even after Boscha’s bullying, we don’t see anybody beyond her gang make fun of Luz and co.! When Willow gets trashed poured on her, some students are watching, but… They seem kind of disturbed by it all? They’re not outright vouching on her behalf like Luz, possibly because Boscha is watching; But still! It is SO cathartic to see Willow being beloved by the entire school like that, even if she’s keeping her friend-circle to a select few; People LIKE her, and it’s what she deserves! Like Luz, I’m SO proud…!

I’m still disappointed we didn’t get the names of Boscha’s other friends, but I really like their inclusion here! I liked how they all seemed rather uncomfortable with seeing Luz forfeit, only to be made Boscha’s target practice; And how Luz is so bright, bubbly, and infectiously-cheerful, spreading her good will to others! Like, this girl is TOO kind, and so loving… She has no bounds and I love how those other girls are even affected by Luz, genuinely enjoying her and wanting to be friends, alongside having Willow as a teammate! I have to wonder if they’ll ditch Boscha after this… Or at the very least, try to talk her down as friends of Boscha that she actually cares about and vice-versa (compared to Amity, who has always been cold towards Boscha, hence why her talking wouldn’t have made a difference)!

Speaking of Amity… C’mon, girl. Your CRUSH is showing, the way you’re getting flustered, imagining seeing Luz in a ‘cute’ uniform and everything… Gus being utterly confused, but you can tell that the gears in Willow’s head are turning and honestly; She’s all for it, likely! I think this is the first time Amity has had an ACTUAL crush on someone she can talk to, instead of some distant figure or a fictional character! It’s so heartwarming seeing her navigate it, getting to actually deal with feelings like a kid is supposed to be allowed to do! And Luz being clueless… That, or she thinks Amity is into WILLOW, which makes a lot of sense too!

(After all, Luz knows that her parents wouldn’t approve of her being Amity’s girlfriend… But Luz, you have NO idea how much she cares, she literally loves you more than she fears them! And Amity, knowing that her parents wouldn’t approve and struggling with this no doubt, but her love for Luz is really shining through over all of that!)

To put it simply; Luz is FRIEND-shaped, she’s lovable, there’s no escaping liking her! Maybe Boscha will always be a bully, and I know one might call it ‘cliché’… But honestly I’d love to see Boscha eventually warm up to Luz and HER infectious positivity as well! Also, I saw that twist with the Rusty Smidge coming from a mile away, and I love how Luz low-key gets into a genuine rant over it! Although the loss doesn’t matter, as Luz’s team was clearly more adept and Boscha’s friends don’t seem interested in forcing Luz and her friends to do all of that other stuff…

Anyhow, I love seeing Amity stand up for her friends, and when she says that her social life has improved because she’s with Luz, in spite of Boscha’s claims… I really CAN see her standing up to her parents, sometime later! I speculated a while back that depending on how her and Luz’s relationship in Enchanting Grom Fright goes, it’d really impact what Amity does later down the line, and I was right! But it IS worth noting that Amity may not yet know that Luz has to leave… King and Eda know, and the former mentioned this in front of Willow and Gus! It’s possible that Luz has laid out her plans to return every summer (and during winter break and whatnot), which would definitely lessen Amity’s angst by an infinite amount! And seeing as how she has instantaneous access to the Demon Realm, who’s to say she can’t pop in every day, after school! Sure she might not be actively living in the Owl House anymore, but otherwise…!

On another note with Amity, I love her and Luz getting to geek out over The Good Witch Azura, and it’s funny to see the show confirm what I wondered about earlier; About Amity secretly making Azura references in public, under the knowledge that nobody would recognize them and realize she’s a nerd… But LUZ does now, and the two can bond! Also, Amity getting to have fun with Luz and co. at the end, being CARRIED by Luz, fully accepted into the home… I know you also have the library as a safe space Amity, but you’ve also got the Owl House as well! And it seems Hooty bears no grudges, either!

Also, someone speculated recently that Amity has her goth-sense from Lilith… and given the implication that Lilith dyed her hair, I can REALLY SEE IT! I’m disappointed we didn’t get any interactions between the two… But the way it was set up, I feel like if Eda and Lilith were there they’d be too busy cheering on their kids respectively! Or not, we’ve seen them prioritize their feud in Covention… But back then Luz and Amity weren’t on the same team!

Back to Amity, it’s interesting that she used to be on the Grudgby team, and was good at it, even being CAPTAIN when Boscha wasn’t; But then explicitly quit when she accidentally hurt some of her ‘friends’ merely once. Even if she never cared for them in the past, even if this was before she met Luz and learned to be kind and open again… She was ALWAYS someone who was self-conscious of her actions! And sure, the issue is that Amity is a LITTLE too self-conscious, constantly berating herself, holding herself accountable for every mistake… But regardless, it says a lot how guilty she feels to have hurt her teammates, even if it was an accident and a one-time incident that resulted in victory!

I’ll probably do ANOTHER post about it later, but it says a lot; How Amity feels like she should step up as a Blight, and she DOES outshine the others… But because of that inherent guilt but also compassion, she actually quits Grudgby out of guilt! Which leads me to the idea that even if she tolerated Boscha and co., she wouldn’t have wanted to hurt them; Again, because she’s critical of herself, but also because Amity isn’t cruel and it may have reminded her of how she treated Willow! I have to respect and fear for Amity on quitting Grudgby after that…

Again, I think she has the issue of being too overtly-critical of herself, and that it’s honestly THE issue that defines her problems; But on the other hand, I feel like Amity’s parents would’ve been displeased to see their star child quit the team, just for hurting some ‘lesser’ witches? I’m scared for what may have happened to Amity, but it also says a lot that she made a potentially defiant move simply because she didn’t want to hurt yet another friend…

(That, or her parents wanted Amity to focus on Abominations and other studies, and coupled with Amity’s guilt, it was the perfect opportunity to get her off the team. Which would be sad, but not surprising.)

Anyhow, I just think it’s interesting that Boscha and co. don’t ever seem to have any resentment towards Amity until recently. It’s possible Boscha DID dislike Amity up until she stepped down… But it makes me wonder if Boscha, like, looked up to Amity and wanted her approval and attention? Given how she’s always framed as following Amity… Perhaps Amity stepping down led to Boscha taking the spotlight, and so Boscha feels indebted towards Amity for her fame (and potential source of self-worth)?

Last but DEFINITELY not least; Somebody else (I’m sorry I keep forgetting) alluded to how in Understanding Willow, there was the issue set up of Luz meaning the best for friends… But also sometimes invading their privacy, or overriding what they want, so she can live out her fantasies at the same time! And, like- A big part of her IS doing this for her friends, that much is clear… But Luz does have an issue sometimes with clearing fantasy from reality! It’s a more advanced lesson from the one she learned in Episode 2, continuing off of that, and I LOVE it!

Like, I really do LOVE how Luz recognizes in this episode that even if a part of her is motivated in helping Willow, she’s also using this as a chance to live out her underdog Azura fantasies, and how Willow points this out to her… and Luz realizes that she’s right! She actively MAKES a change to her behavior, and makes up for it by fixing Willow’s hairclip and even forfeiting on Willow’s behalf and taking all the punishment… All because she doesn’t want her friend to be uncomfortable! Man, Luz is SO ridiculously kind, I keep saying she’s my favorite but she REALLY IS! What a lovable dork, no wonder Boscha and her friends are falling for her!

(Also RIP Skara, you were the fourth one in a team of three. Although given how she helped carry Luz and Amity in the previous episode, amidst already having more screen time… I can see this as a way for the writers to give more of a spotlight to Boscha’s other friends, while subtly acknowledging that Skara likely has gotten over her bias towards Luz and the others. I wonder if Boscha also noticed and that’s why she was left out; That, or she’s the least-skilled? I dunno, but it was neat to see and I’ll overanalyze the moment regardless!)

On a lesser note; Willow’s last name is Park, which is a Korean surname! Coupled with her VA’s ethnicity and Willow/Tati Gabrielle being listed amongst other Asian rep characters and VAs, and I think it’s safe to say that she’s the Boiling Isles equivalent to Asian; Which let me tell you, is VERY nice to see!

Overall, this was an AMAZING episode! It was a heartwarming, feel-good episode that reaffirmed character relationships and love while still expanding on them, adding in more friends to the group… It was pretty much nothing but happy moments and revelations! Obviously things are setting up in the next two episodes to go REALLY crazy, especially with Luz potentially getting banned from Hexside for defying Lilith and Belos… But it’s clear to say that she’s left QUITE the good impression on the administration and students! And I can see some even vibing with Luz’s ideas even after she gets kicked out… Perhaps Luz will unknowingly start a rebellion of sorts?

#the owl house #owl house #the owl house willow #willow park #the owl house boscha #the owl house luz #luz noceda #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #the owl house lilith #lilith clawthorne #the owl house amity #amity blight #analysis

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azraqnar · 4 years

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Thoughts on Agony of a witch (Spoiler warning! (Duh))

Oh boy I was doubting this series’s before but not anymore! This episodes is easily the best in the season. Grom doesn’t have shit on this episode! Everything was just great about AOAW, the music, the suspense, the action, the story, the animation, it was all wonderful!

- for one, Hooty is damn creepy when he fights not only does he effortlessly kick the emperors covens ass (you’d think they’d be more powerful than this but whatever) but he has a tea party with their unconscious bodies after. That was an interesting (& creepy) choice & it has me curious if Eda created him or not. We need a hooty backstory.

- Eda’s curse is getting worse and after episodes of not mentioning it they finally acknowledge how bad it’s getting & how Eda needs more potions or a higher dosage to barely keep it under control KEY WORD “BARELY”. It does remind me of when my aunt had cancer and her chemotherapy stopped working they had to higher the dosage. Good job on finally talking about it.

- When Luz leaves I do like how Eda & King reflect on how the “vibe” of the house changed when Luz showed up & how King thought they were gonna eat her (I guess it confirms witches do eat human kids)I am picking up a familia love from Eda & King so now we have the found family trope (Which I love). I thought it was cute when Eda decided to make a cape as a sign of gratitude & how it sets up how important this cape is when Eda talks about the material it’s made out of.

- Luz’s class is going on the field trip to the emperors coven but isn’t Bump the principal not a teacher?At my school whenever we had a field-trip it was the Teachers that went with us not the principal, Bump didn’t even play a big role so they could have swapped him out for a Teacher & nothing would change.

- Amity’s leg is still broken so she can’t attend the field-trip, which I thought was a good idea she didn’t go. I feel like the writers would try to force in more Lumity moments and it would distract from the plot. I do like Lumity but if Amity was there then fans would focus on that rather than the story & the last two episode were Amity focused so she wasn’t needed in this episode. Smart move from the writers, maybe if her legs heals next episode she could be there but idk.

- Now while Luz was thinking about stealing the healing hat I was a bit conflicted on it. I don’t like how the show is telling viewers it’s okay to steal but In Luz’s case it’s for a good cause, she wanted the hat so she could heal Eda’s curse. It’s like those cases you hear of people stealing groceries to feed their families, I felt the same here. Yeah stealing is bad but if it’s for saving someone you love is it really that bad? Idk if the writers wanted us to be conflicted over that dilemma but they succeeded.

- “Good luck with puberty” I laughed when Lilith said that, can’t believe Disney let that slip in.

- I have to say I do like the lore we get in this episode. Emperor Belos established the coven system 50 years ago to “honor the titan” which is the boiling Isles where they might get their magic from, before that witches were doing wild magic in what was called “the savages ages” it’s setting up more lore about the emperor like how did he rise to power? Who was he before? What were these “savage ages” like? If it was 50 years ago then there still are witches & demons that were alive in the savage age & they could tells us what life was like before. It also means Emperor Belos is 70+ years old. I’m just saying a human could live that long. 👀

- Now emperor Belos, wow his designs looks cool as hell, his voice is amazing too, it’s kinda sinister yet soothing at same times. As shown, it looks like he’s in a weakened state, he has to take these weird bird glowing green slime thing to have energy. We don’t know why or how he got like that, but it seems like he wants to Capture Eda so she doesn’t try to overthrow him since he’s weak. In fact, that might be the reason for the coven system, if he limits their magic then they aren’t strong enough to overthrow him. We only saw him for a bit but he gave a good impression when Luz said that no one will know about her stealing the hat we hear Belos voice echo: “ I will know” in the most bone chilling voice ever! The crew did a great job on him! Tho one thing I noticed is why is every big villain always in a weakened state? Darth Vader, Hordak, Aaravos, Zarkon, every anime villain. I just noticed this trope is overused, but I hope we can see Belos at his strongest and see how powerful he is. I have high hopes for him!

-Lilith discovers Luz is there & decides to use her as a decoy to lure in Eda. Which she succeeds when Eda goes there all angry for daring to drag Luz into her issues. I love how Eda doesn’t even try to stay calm she just straight up attacks Lilith & you can feel her angry.

- Speaking of that fight, best fight in the series thus far! The animation, the spells, the music, the raw emotion, it was all down great! It does remind me of a DBZ style of fighting when they’re moving so fast that your eyes can’t catch up & their magic surrounding them like Eda went super Sayion, I’m not complaining I like those kinds of fight & The intensity you feel in the fight is overwhelming. Luz’s life is at stake and Lilith even uses her as a human shield. She knows how much Luz means to Eda & was willing to kill her. Hell, she even threw Luz toward the spikes and Eda had to save her, then they both struggle with Eda trying to lift her up & Lilith trying to press her against the spikes & then Eda slowly turns into a monster THIS IS HOW YOU WRITE A FIGHT (takes notes she ra)

- Now the biggest bomb drop in the series. IT WAS LILITH WHO CURSED EDA. she blurted it out in a rage of jealousy it seems. They were insulting each other on how one is better than the other. Then when Lilith says “THEN WHY WERE SO EASY TO CURSE?!” My jaw dropped, I suspected they would tell us but not this episode, you see can see the hurt & betrayal in her eyes when it was her own sister who cursed her. Like ouch. From what I suspected is that Lilith was jealous of Eda from what their exchanges told us. But why was she jealous of Eda? Friends? Magic capabilities? Power? Maybe fighting over a crush? What? Whatever the reason is does not excuse doing that to your sister and your YOUNGER SISTER AT THAT. Goodness & I thought Edric and Emira took it too far with the diary thing. I’m officially part of the hate Lilith club. Idc what you do but hurting your sibling like that is the worst thing you can do to them, just imagined how much Eda suffered for DECADES with this curse. No redemption can fix that. But boy do they need Family therapy or just punch it out that works too.

- I loved it when Eda went into rage mode when she found out it was Lilith who cursed her. Her own sister. Like damn that has to hurt knowing your own family did that to you. She deserved to beat Lilith to a bloody pulp & I’m happy she didn’t even bother to listen to Lilith she just wanted to attack her & I don’t blame her one bit.

- Ugh the scene where the curse overtakes Eda was a heart wrenching one. She knows she slipping away and tells Luz to take care of King & Hooty & to stay safe before she slips away. When Lilith told Luz that Eda is with her true family made me want to punch her more than Amity’s parents. You feel how helpless Luz felt & I hope they work towards her character with that feeling because Luz is happy go lucky & seeing her in despair makes for great character development.

- it kind of reminds me of when Queen Angella sacrifices herself In season 3 but I hated how they never acknowledged it since season 4 & she doesn’t even return by the end season 5, they pretty much forgot about her. We know for sure Luz will never leave Eda behind & will go save her.

- So we know Luz will go back to save her cuz we do see her wearing the cape Eda made her in the promo. Also we have 1 episode left so we know she’s gonna attempt a rescue mission for Eda but will she succeed? She’s up against the emperors coven! She’s gotta pull all her cards on the table & team up with her friends.

- A witch loses a true way. It could refer to Lilith officially turning to the dark side or Eda being lost in her curse even into season 2. Knowing Disney, they will give us a happy ending cuz it’s Disney but I will be pleasantly surprised if Luz fails to save Eda by the next episode.

- One last thing, I like the credits had no music, just silence. It reminds me of in full metal alchemist whenever a character dies the credit are always silent. I guess it’s meant to represent despair in a way? Or change? Yeah it think it’s change.

- This is why shows should focus on the plot because when you do, it delivers for some great storytelling & this episode surpasses all of the episodes combined. when you focus on the story & lore & characters it makes for great emotional impact of an episode and I hope Dana and the crew continues to do this. This show has so much going for it & people who only watch a show for a ship are clowns because this is what you’re missing out on. an amazing story. I applause Dana & the crew for this episode, really outdid yourselves!

- Overall 9.7/10 it was phenomenal!

#the owl house #luz noceda #amity blight #owl house #eda clawthorne #willow park #gus owl house #toh spoilers #toh #toh hooty #king the owl house #lilith clawthorne #emperor belos #Emperor coven #agony of a witch

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brave-clarice · 3 years

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“Clarice” Liveblog: Episode 3

Maybe Wednesday is just destined to be my watch night? At any rate, here are some more comically late hot takes for you all.

I really do not like that Clarice’s Bureau-mandated therapist is recurring character, nor do I like the way these scenes are framed.

And the name of this episode is “Are You Alright?” which...oop.

“He was a marshal.” Good to know that the sheriff BS she gave Mr. Cult Leader was made up after all.

This is a little thing, but enough with the boring monochromatic button-ups on Clarice! Where’s my girl who hides copies of Vogue under her mattress??

I don’t love this constant-flashback thing one bit.

To be 100% clear, if I haven’t been already, it’s not that I want Clarice’s mental health to be ignored. I just don’t think this is the best or most in-character way to address it.

Also: Clarice Starling is not defined by her trauma.

“Buffalo Bill...a wound I believe will never heal unless you open up about it.” Honestly?

Thanks, I hate it!

I hate to even bring up the NBC show.....but this scene is reminding me, intensely and unpleasantly, of that.

That show made Will Graham way too unstable and mentally ill as it is...and Clarice’s character is a hell of a lot stronger than book!Will, never mind NBC!Will. So having Clarice hallucinate and lash out in similar ways feels really OOC.

“Maybe your perceptions aren’t as solid as you think.” Yay, gaslighting. As if Clarice doesn’t face enough obstacles in the books.

I’ve always interpreted Ardelia as a bit of a neat freak, so that was a nice scene with the boxes!

Were most politicians wearing American flag pins in the early 90s? That feels way too modern. (iirc it became the “norm” only after 9/11.)

“Imagine someone field-dressing one of [your daughters] like a deer.” I’m getting strong and very unwelcome NBC vibes again. Stop it, show!

More gaslighting, but this time from the suspect.

“Well, I’m Army, so I’m actually a good shot.” For some reason this feels like shade at ex-Marine John Brigham even though he doesn’t exist in this show, and I’m offended on his behalf.

Speaking of, when is Clarice’s sharpshooting talent going to come up??

Krendler’s supporting Clarice? Saying she has a good idea???? WHO IS THIS GUY?!

The implication here is that...the president will fire AG Martin over bad press...? Or what?

What I’m getting from this: this Krendler is just some guy who hapens to have the same name, not the infamous King Scumbag we know and love to hate. (And those clothes...1993, where are you?!?)

Ardelia called her “Starling”! Though it was tongue-in-cheek.

“I’m aware I have the palate of an eight-year-old.” Somewhere, Hannibal is dying inside. (Hmm...wasn’t she about eight when her father was killed?)

This line/delivery was super cute!

But being unable to cook doesn’t necessarily mean you have unsophisticated tastes...

Is Catherine going to have any kind of personality? Beyond “is traumatized”?

And where is Catherine’s cat???

“It’s from the 50s.” “I’m from the 50s! ...I still work.” Cuuute.

Her sheepish little smile when the Baltimore cop tells her they’re “big fans” of hers...I would die for this girl, folks.

Hey, remember phone books?! And a nice nod to Ardelia being the bookish one of the pair.

Another homage to Silence’s cinematography (but this time she’s the reflection).

Krendler’s back in Asshole Boss mode again. Make up your minds.

Thanks, I still hate it!

Okay, yes Clarice has a temper! And she does act “impulsively” re: Krendler in Hannibal...at the END of her by-then failed career. But a fledgling female agent who’s already viewed as a kind of “loose cannon” could NOT afford to chuck a mug full of coffee at her boss (with whom she’s already butting heads/struggling to coexist) when she’s upset! Very unprofessional and unlike Clarice.

“You think I’m the one who wants to play politics?” In Hannibal, Krendler wants to run for Congress, so...yeah, I do.

Krendler wouldn’t be wrong to send Clarice home after that, tbh.

“He thinks I’m the weak link.” “You might be.” *angry noises*

Busting through doors while armed: Just Clarice Things

Krendler telling Clarice she was right...his characterization’s giving me whiplash.

Catherine’s not an actual character so far, and it’s sad.

Glad they’re acknowledging that AG Martin’s “field-dressing” comments were incredibly bad.

“I think I have some memories I need to look at...but not with you.” Oh! Oh! I know who she’s going to look at them with! ;)

“You’re trying to gaslight me, sir.” Not sure they would’ve used that term as commonly in the early 90s, though Clarice has a therapy license, so maybe?

But also: yes! CALL! HIM! OUT!

“I wish you luck finding someone who’s better at it than I am.” *shrieks* That is a Hannibal reference, and I’ll fight anyone who says it isn’t.

I’ve liked all these episodes more than my nit-picking might suggest, I swear. I enjoyed the middle half hour or so of this one a lot! It’s got a few charming little funny moments that I particularly appreciated.

That said... This was, as a whole, probably Rebecca Breeds’ weakest showing to date (through no fault of her own). And I’m getting a little antsy about (lack of) character development. I’m on board with exploring Ardelia and Catherine Martin in greater depth...but Ruth Martin, too--even Krendler? And seemingly at the expense of Clarice’s own character?

What do the non-book readers in the audience really know about Clarice so far beyond what’s shown in Silence? (Some early interviews emphasized that the film didn’t have time to delve into Clarice’s character intimately. What has the show done to remedy that so far...?) She likes junk food, she has a brother...I can’t think of much else off the top of my head. Not to be a broken record, but there’s more to Clarice than childhood trauma. More than her career. If this show is genuinely about her--well, by episode 3 and 4, it’s high time for them to start exploring who she is beyond those things.

Clarice is a sharpshooter who competes and wins. She’s a runner. She loves horses and muscle cars. She has a therapy license. She graduated at the top of her large undergraduate class. She’s interested in fashion (though she probably doesn’t let on about that to many people). I haven’t seen any of that so far, and it’s beginning to make me sad.

They also need to end the “Clarice is mentally/emotionally unstable and sometimes even hallucinates” subplot right now!

I’m dropping all my expectations for this Paul Krendler. They won’t commit to making him as intolerable and awful as he was in the books. Instead, we have an OC with a canonical name. Fine. But that choice is going to be awkward if the show goes forward and they, by some miracle, get rights to Hannibal’s character...

If Catherine Martin’s sticking around, I hope to God they give her a personality. Of course she’s suffering, and no, I don’t want them to belittle that--but right now, she’s coming across as a one-dimensional caricature of a victim rather than as a sympathetic real person.

And finally...where is my 90s aesthetic?! It’s one of the elements that I was most excited about, yet it’s barely present. Some of the tech and the cars look right. A lot of the clothes and hairstyles, though, leave much to be desired. (Clarice’s wardrobe is especially boring/disappointing so far. I was looking forward to an improvement on Jodie’s movie costumes! Clarice doesn’t have to dress just like Dana Scully--but at least Scully always looked straight out of 199x.) And there are little anachronistic things that take me right out of the early 90s.

I didn’t hate it. I didn’t love it. It wasn’t as exciting or as full of novel/film allusions as the first two (I guess they can’t all be). It also felt unfocused when it came to the characters, ultimately developing almost none of them, including the heroine. This is the episode I think I’m least likely to rewatch of the first three.

I’m hoping for better from #4!

#Clarice Starling #clarice #cbs clarice #rebecca breeds #media [cbs show]#actor [rebecca breeds]

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touchingoldmagic · 4 years

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Comic Review

Okay first an apology. Due to COVID and then my own 30-day challenge, this review got very delayed. But here we go, let's look at the fourth and final issue of GB Year One! As always, spoilers under the cut.

As is tradition, we start the comic with interviews. But instead of minor characters this time, we have Janine, Ray, and Peter talking about Egon. Janine says he's hard to get to know but generous with sharing his knowledge. I think that's a really in character thing to say, I can definitely hear it in Annie Potts' voice.

We cut to Winston chaperoning Rebecca to the firehouse, where Egon is working. This takes place a few weeks after the end of the movie (as established by Dana in the first issue) so the firehouse is still blown up. I have to say I really like that they included this, we rarely get to see the firehouse with this much damage. There's a police officer stationed outside to keep looters away, which I also thought was a nice realistic touch.

I guess this is a good place to point out that I find Egon in the IDW comics to be written quite a bit differently than Egon from the movies (or from RGB/EGB). Even in GB1 and 2, where Egon was very reserved and deadpan, he never came across as unsympathetic toward other people. To me, anyway. In the comics, I feel like Erik Burnham always writes him as a man without any patience for "normal people." Even his comic bio states Egon is someone who "isn't interested in what you have to say." I dunno, I just never got that vibe from him in any other GB media and it bugs me a bit. -shrug- Maybe it's just me.

Anyway, Egon immediately tells Rebecca he's only speaking to her because it's part of the contract for them getting paid for this book deal, and they need the money to rebuild the firehouse.

Rebecca asks why Egon got started in the paranormal, and Egon basically says he wants to explain all the things that mankind finds unexplainable, and ghosts were just the first thing he was able to prove. He'll move on to something else when he loses interests in ghosts.

Rebecca then asks why he built the Containment Unit so that it exploded when the power was cut. Personally I'm like "Wow rude much?" but I guess it's a legit question. Egon says it was because of the unexpected increase in ghost energy due to Gozer, and that he's going to rebuild it so it won't happen again.

I find Rebecca in this issue is a lot more antagonistic than she was in previous issues. I guess Egon pushes her buttons LOL.

When they start talking about their first case at the Sedgewick, Winston brings up the story that the green ghost escaped when they were putting it into the Containment Unit. Rebecca is very interested in hearing this other story of the Unit failing to work right, and Egon is not very appreciative of Winston speaking up.

Great lines: Egon: Thank you so much for bringing that up, Winston. Your memory is a real asset. Winston: Uh... I think I've got an errand to run. -leaves-

We jump to a flashback that takes place after the Sedgewick scene in the movie. The GB's return to the firehouse. Peter has a hilarious cowlick from the slime, which I love.

Ray and Egon go to the basement to put their first ghost in the Containment Unit.

But the button gets stuck and Slimer escapes. (His name isn't really Slimer in this universe, but I'm just going to call him that for simplicity's sake.) Slimer appears upstairs where he picks up a prototype proton grenade from Egon's locker and then... phases right through the front door, carrying the grenade?

I don't know if this is an oversight on the part of the comic or if they're trying to purposely show us that ghosts can take solid matter through other solid matter, but it really confused me. I mean, we don't see Slimer doing that in the movie. He drinks a bottle of wine and it goes right through him onto the floor, and when he goes through the wall dragging a food cart behind him, the cart crashes into the wall. So why does the grenade go right through the firehouse door? I have no idea.

Anyway, Egon and Ray run out after him to protect the neighborhood. (Peter and Janine apparently aren't there now to see this happen.)

Ray: Why would you store a prototype proton grenade in your locker? Egon: I don't feel as thought that's important right now, Ray.

Slimer zips around the streets, stealing people's food and brandishing the grenade. Egon cautions Ray not to take a shot at him, since their beams could make it explode. Ray runs off to a dumpster to find some food to bait the ghost, leaving Egon to stall him alone.

Egon: Luckily it was driven more by impulse than intelligence--sort of like Venkman in college.

And for some reason there's two times where the artist forgot to draw Slimer holding the grenade? It seems like an obvious mistake to make, so I dunno if they really forgot or if it was on purpose. The quality control in this issue seems to be lacking.

Egon tries to sneak up on Slimer, but the ghost sees him and clonks him with the grenade. He then gets distracted by a pizza and drops it. Egon ducks, but the bomb fizzles out, a dud. (How anticlimactic.)

With the spud distracted, Egon fires his thrower and catches him. He compares reeling him in to a memory of reeling in a fish as big as he was when he was a kid. That was a cute reference, at least. I'm trying to picture tiny!Egon and his reserved father on a fishing boat.

We cut back to Egon and Rebecca as Egon wraps up his story. Here he says that this incident proved to all of them that they should never take solo calls, ever. That comment felt weird to me because... nothing bad happened? Egon was able to wrangle Slimer by himself just fine. How did this incident prove that? But I guess the writer just wanted to slip in a reason why we never see the GB's going on busts by themselves, in any media. (As if it's not obvious how dangerous the job would be by yourself...)

At this point Rebecca is ready to leave when suddenly a red ghostly light swirls around her and she grows fangs and claws. I was super excited at first because I thought this was going to be a twist ending and Rebecca was going to be a ghost this whole time! Trying to get inside info on how to take down the team. How awesome would that have been!?

But no, Rebecca is only momentarily possessed by...something. Something that has a vague message for Egon that the Ghostbusters will be killed sometime, someday. That's it. I'm not even kidding, the ghost literally uses the words "Sooner or later, doom!" Like... yeah, buddy? That's just life?

The ghost vanishes and Rebecca is overwhelmed and quickly leaves. Peter shows up just as she's leaving, asking what that was about.

(Narrator Voice: He did not find out.)

So that's it! I'm a bit disappointed in this issue, I have to say. The story was okay, but there's a bunch of little things that don't make sense, things that look like drawing errors, and a weak ending. It all adds up to a disappointing feeling.

I think they are implying something about Afterlife with the ghost at the end? Is there going to be a ghost in Afterlife that claims to have been watching Egon since the founding of the Ghostbusters, and perhaps even eventually killed him? Man, I know ghosts can be patient but that's a pretty long stretch of time to wait before sealing somebody's doom.

But there we go, the four issues of Year One. I do think it's good to have oneshot stories. A comic series shouldn't be entirely made up of long storyarcs. I like a little variety. And I liked seeing some scenes that we only heard about in the past, even if it made the comic feel like a "clip show" sometimes, where they were just filling in things that were mentioned offhand in the movies.

I think the comic was strongest when it was giving us thoughts and motivations for our favorite characters and seeing them interact (like Ray training Winston for 15 min and calling it good, and Winston telling him how crazy that is). And I felt it was weakest when it was just redrawing screenshots from the movie or doing those interviews with minor characters at the start of each issue (I liked it at first but it got tiring quickly). All in all, I did like this series and I am really excited to see what is coming for the IDW GB's next!

#ghostbusters #ghostbusters comics #comic review #ghostbusters idw #idw comics #idw #ghostbusters year one #egon spengler #dan schoening #dan schoening art #erik burnham #luis antonio delgado

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entamewitchlulu · 4 years

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so i did a reading challenge this year and i wanna talk about what i read

transcription under the cut

i did Popsugar 2019 and wanna talk about what i read: Book Reccs and Anti-Reccs

1.) Becoming a Movie in 2019: Umbrella Academy (vol 1) by Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba

4/5. A fascinating take on superpowers, dysfunctional families, and the apocalypse. Can get pretty gory, confusing here and there and you have to pay close attention to panels for lore, but overall an entertaining romp.

2.) Makes you Feel Nostalgic: Circles in the Stream by Rachel Roberts

4/5. Middle grade novel about the magic of music, belief, and of course, friendship. Definitely written for kids, and has some unfortunately clumsy Native rep, but overall an absolute joy to dive into once again.

3.) Written by a Musician: Umbrella Academy (vol 2) by Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba

4/5. Ramps up the confusion to ridiculous degrees with some absolutely bonkers, unexplained arcs, but still fun to watch this dysfunctional family do its dysfunctional thing.

4.) You Think Should be Turned into a movie: All That Glitters by Rachel Roberts

4/5. Continuation of Circles in the Stream, but with more unicorns, more rainbows, and more fae, which makes it automatically even better than the first.

5.) With At Least 1 Mil. Ratings on Goodreads: 1984 by George Orwell

1/5. I understand why it's important and all but wasn't prepared for some of the more graphic scenes and the overall hopelessness of the message. Would not recommend or read again.

6.) W/ a Plant in the title or cover: The secret of Dreadwillow carse by Brian farrey

5/5. A fantasy world where everyone is always happy, save for one girl and the princess, who set out to solve the mystery of their kingdom. Poignant and great for kids and adults.

7.) Reread of a favorite: Cry of the Wolf by Rachel Roberts

4/5. Yet another installment in the Avalon: Web of Magic series, which clearly I am obsessed with. Please just read them.

8.) About a Hobby: Welcome to the Writer's Life by Paulette Perhach

5/5. A welcome kick in the pants, chock full of great advice told without condescension, and full of hope and inspiration for writers both new and old.

9.) Meant to read in 2018: The Poet x by Elizabeth Acevedo

4/5. Absolutely beautiful coming of age novel told in verse. Do yourself a favor and listen to the audiobook version.

10.) w/ "pop," "sugar," or "challenge" in the title: Black Sugar by Miguel Bonnefoy

2/5. I think maybe I just don't understand this genre. Or maybe the translation was weird. I was confused.

11.) w/ An Item of Clothing or Accessory on the cover: Our dreams at Dusk by Yuhki Kamatani

4/5. It had a lot more slurs/homophobia than I was prepared for, but otherwise is a very touching, relatable collection of queer characters living in a heteronormative world.

12.) Inspired by Mythology or Folklore: Ravenous by MarcyKate Connolly

3/5. A girl goes on an impossible quest to save her brother from a child-eating witch. Really wanted to like it more because I loved the first one, Monstrous, but it dragged a little.

13.) Published Posthumously: The Islands of Chaldea by Diana Wynne Jones

3/5. I adore Diana Wynne Jones, but this one was missing some of the magic of her other books. Not sure if it was because it had to be finished by someone else, or if I just grew out of her stories.

14.) Set in Space: Binti by Nnedi Okorafor

4/5. Powerfully written story of a girl straddling tradition and innovation, who wields power through mathematical magic, surviving on a spaceship alone with a dangerous alien occupation after everyone else has been killed.

15.) By 2 Female Authors: Burn for Burn by Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian

2/5. Ostensibly a story about a revenge pact in a small island town, but leaves far too many dangling threads to attempt alluring you to the sequel.

16.) W/ A Title containing "salty," "bitter," "Sweet," or "Spicy": The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith

3/5. It's okay but I literally just never know what anyone means at any time. Are they being reticent on purpose or do i just not understand communication

17.) Set in scandinavia: Vinland Saga by Makoto Yukimura

2/5. Technically and historically accurate and well made, but the story itself is not my cup of tea. Very gory.

18.) Takes Place in a Single Day: Long WAy Down by Jason Reynolds

4/5. A boy goes to avenge his murdered brother, but ghostly passengers join him on the elevator ride down. Stunning and powerful character-driven analysis.

19.) Debut Novel: Nimona by Noelle Stevenson

4/5. Charming and then surprisingly heart-breaking comic about Nimona, a shapeshifter who wants to become a villain's minion. Really love the villain/hero dynamic going on in the background, along with the dysfunctional found family.

20.) Published in 2019: The Book of Pride by Mason Funk

4/5. A collection of interviews with the movers, shakers, and pioneers of the queer and LGBTQ+ community. An absolutely essential work for community members and allies alike.

21.) Featuring an extinct/imaginary creature: Phoebe and her Unicorn by Dana Simpson

4/5. Incredibly charming, Calvin and Hobbes-esque collection of comics featuring the adventures of Phoebe and her unicorn best friend.

22.) Recced by a celebrity you admire: The Emerald Circus by Jane Yolen

2/5. Recced by my fave author Brandon Sanderson. An unfortunately disappointing anthology proving that any story can be made uninteresting by telling the wrong section of it.

23.) With "Love" in the Title: Book Love by Debbie Tung

4/5. One of those relatable webcomics, only this one I felt super hard almost the entire time. Books are awesome and libraries rule.

24.) Featuring an amateur detective: Nancy Drew: Palace of Wisdom by Kelly Thompson

4/5. REALLY love this modern take on Nancy Drew, coming back home to her roots to solve a brand new mystery. Diverse cast and lovely artwork, though definitely more adult.

25.) About a family: Amulet by Kabu Kibuishi

4/5. Excellent, top tier graphic novel about a sister and brother who have to go rescue their mother with a mysterious magic stone. LOVE that the mom gets to be involved in the adventure for once.

26.) by an author from asia, Africa, or s. America: Girls' Last tour by Tsukumizu

4/5. Somehow both light-hearted and melancholy. Two girls travel about an empty, post-apocalyptic world, and muse about life and their next meal.

27.) w/ a Zodiac or astrology term in title: Drawing down the moon by margot adler

3/5. A good starting place for anyone interested in the Neo Pagan movement, but didn't really give me what I was personally looking for.

28.) you see someone reading in a tv show or movie: The Promised NEverland by Kaiu Shirai

4/5. I don't watch TV or movies where people read books so i think reading an adaptation of a TV series after watching the series counts. Anyway it was good but beware racist caricatures

29.) A retelling of a classic: Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy by Rey Terciero

5/5. We can stop the Little Women reboots and retellings now, this is the only one we need. In fact, we can toss out the original too, this is the only one necessary.

30.) w/ a question in the title: So I'm a spider, so what? by Asahiro Kakashi

4/5. Cute art despite the subject matter, and a surprisingly enthralling take on the isekai genre. Love the doubling down on the video game skills.

31.) Set in a college or university campus: Moonstruck (vol 2) by Grace Ellis

2/5. An incredibly cute, beautiful, and fascinating world of modern magic and creatures, but unfortunately falls apart at the plot and pacing.

32.) About someone with a superpower: Moonstruck (vol 1) by Grace Ellis

4/5. Though nearly as messy plot-wise as its sequel, the first volume is overwhelmingly charming in a way that overpowers the more confusing plot elements.

33.) told from multiple povs: The Long way to a Small, Angry Planet by becky Chambers

4/5. Told almost in a serial format, like watching a miniseries, a group of found-family spaceship crew members make the long journey to their biggest job ever.

34.) Includes a wedding: We Set the dark on fire by Tehlor kay mejia

4/5. Timely and poignant, a girl tumbles into both love and resistance after becoming one of two wives to one of the most powerful men in the country.

35.) by an author w/ alliterative name: The only harmless great Thing by brooke bolander

3/5. Much deeper than I can currently comprehend. Beautifully written, but difficult to parse.

36.) A ghost story: Her body and other parties by Carmen Maria Machado

4/5. It counts because one of the stories in it has ghosts. A sometimes difficult collection of surrealist, feminist, queer short stories.

37.) W/ a 2 word title: Good omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

4/5. Charming, touching, and comical, probably the best take on the apocalypse to date. Also excellent ruminations on religion and purpose.

38.) based on a true story: The faithful Spy by John Hendrix

4/5. Brilliantly crafted graphic biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and his assistance in fighting back against Nazi Germany.

39.) Revolving around a puzzle or game: the Crossover by Kwame alexander

4/5. The verse didn't always hit right with me, but the story is a sweet, melancholy one about family, loss, and moving on.

40.) previous popsugar prompt (animal in title): The last unicorn by peter s. Beagle

5/5. Absolutely one of my all-time favorite books, it manages to perfectly combine anachronism and comedy with lyricism, melancholy, and ethereal beauty.

41.) Cli-fi: Tokyo Mew Mew by Mia ikumi and Reiko Yoshida

4/5. Shut up it counts

42.) Choose-your-own-adventure: My Lady's choosing by Kitty curran

3/5. Cute in concept, a bit underwhelming in execution. Honestly, just play an otome.

43.) "Own Voices": Home by Nnedi Okorafor

3/5. The storytelling style was definitely not my style; while the first book was slow, too, it felt more purposeful. I found my attention wandering during this installment.

44.) During the season it's set in: Pumpkinheads by rainbow rowell

3/5. Cute art, but precious little substance. The concept simply wasn't for me in the first place.

45.) LITRPG: My next life as a villainess: All routes lead to doom! by Hidaka nami

5/5. An absolute insta-fave! Charming art, endearing characters, an incredible premise, and so much sweet wholesome fluff it'll give you cavities.

46.) No chapters: The field guide to dumb birds of north america by matt kracht

3/5. It started out super strong, but the joke started to wear thin at a little past the halfway point.

47.) 2 books with the same title: Unfollow by Megan Phelps-Roger

4/5. A brave and enduring personal story of growing up in and eventually leaving the Westboro Baptist Church. Really called to me to act with grace and kindness even more in the future.

48.) 2 books with the same title: unfollow by rob williams and michael dowling

1/5. How many times do you think we can make Battle Royale again before someone notices

49.) That has inspired a common phrase or idiom: THe Outsiders by S.E. Hinton

4/5. Definitely good and deserves it's praise as something that pretty much revolutionized and created an entire demographic of literature.

50.) Set in an abbey, cloister, Monastery, convent, or vicarage: Murder at the vicarage by agatha christie

3/5. I just cannot. physically keep up with all of these characters or find the energy to read between the lines.

ok that's all i got, what did y'all read and like this year? (oh god it’s gonna be 2020)

#book reccs #lulu booktalks

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floralseokjin · 6 years

Text

↳ the index [ #4 hurt ]

Recently heartbroken, it feels like you’ll never be able to get over it. But a chance encounter with a guy you haven’t seen in months changes everything…

pairing; min yoongi x f reader (past kim namjoon x f reader) au/genre/warnings; semi) fuck buddies au, rebound au, unrequited feelings, angst, drama, conflict, there’s a small fight scene, a punch is thrown, smut; fingering (a lot of), sex without a condom but reader is on birth control other; namjoon arrives 😬 words; 8,166

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“I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me!”

Seulgi sounded just as betrayed as she had the other fifteen plus times she’d said the same exact line.

“You would have tried to talk me out of it! I know you would have!”

“No way,” she maintained, shaking her head side to side.

“Really?” Somehow, you did not believe her.

It was still only the next day after Hobi’s party, but somehow it felt like a week. Possibly longer. You’d gone over everything, start to, well, now, with her since this morning, and she was still going on.

“Okay, maybe because it’s Yoongi I would have had my reservations,” she finally relented. She looked at you quizzically from her spot on the sofa. “Didn’t he and Namjoon used to be best friends?”

You on the other hand had chosen the chair, although the small distance hadn’t helped matters. You fiddled with your hands nervously. Here they came. The questions. Up until now she’d been in shock, feeling just a tiny bit betrayed that you’d kept it from her for so long. But now, she was really thinking about it, and of course she had questions.

“I don’t know if they were best friends, but yeah, they were friends.”

“Do we even know what fully happened there?”

“Namjoon just said they had a falling out,” you shrugged, not really wanting this conversation, “and well, I haven’t asked Yoongi.”

Last night you’d justified your thing with Yoongi, and while you still had nothing to feel guilty about, Seulgi’s questions made you feel uneasy. Technically, this was complicated, no matter how simple sex with Yoongi was. He and Namjoon shared a history, and despite not being friends anymore, it made sense that Seulgi would point it out. Without Namjoon around, that tiny detail could go ignored, but maybe that was the point. You didn’t need to feel guilty because Namjoon had left. He’d gone and ditched you and his supposed friends in the process. You didn’t owe him anything, and you could fuck whoever you wanted. His ex-friend or not.

“Yeah, cos you’re too busy choking on his dick,” Seulgi snorted, interrupting your internal monologue and absolutely mortifying you in the process.

“SEULGI.”

“Just saying. The guy must be good if you keep going back for more.” Your silence turned her uncontainable. “Oh, my god. He is, isn’t he?!”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “I’m not talking about our sex life.”

Your best friend however, was not listening. “Is he better than Namjoon?” She ignored your scoff of frustration. “Come on, it’s okay to talk shit about that buffoon.”

“Yoongi is… different,” you yielded, not meeting her eyes.

“So that’s a yes.”

“He’s… Sex with him is…”

“So good it’s indescribable?” she concluded for you. She leaned forward, all excited. “Now you have me curious. I always did think Yoongi was hot. Like in that aloof, mystery guy type of way.”

“He’s not aloof.” You sounded more defensive than you’d intended.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to talk shit about your man,” she laughed.

You groaned. “He’s not my man.”

Maybe telling your friends had been a bad idea… On the outside looking in maybe things between you and Yoongi could be perceived differently to what they actually were. Which was bullshit because people your age had casual sex all the goddamn time.

As if Seulgi could read your mind, she asked you something carefully. “So… this is just sex?”

“Yes.”

“Like hot, amazing sex with no feelings involved whatsoever?”

“Seulgi.”

Your irritated sigh was enough to make her sit back, coming over all serious. “I’m just worried about you, _____. The breakup really hurt you and it sucked seeing you like that. At one point I thought you were never going to get over it.”

“But I have,” you pointed out. “I’m over it.”

It hit you then that it was the first time you’d said that out loud. It made you feel weird. You did mean it, right? Or were you just trying to prove a point?

“Exactly!” she exclaimed. “What if you’ve just started liking Yoongi instead?”

“I haven’t.”

The thought was just absurd. How could you fall for someone else so soon after the breakdown of your two-year relationship? Especially when you had still been so heartbroken when you’d started sleeping with Yoong. Seulgi was just being wary, that’s all. You would know if you had feelings for someone. You weren’t stupid.

“I mean, I like Yoongi, of course, just not in that way,” you continued, not liking the way she was looking at you. “I’m not going to catch feelings if that’s what you’re trying to say.”

She softened. “I just don’t want to see you hurt again…”

You gave her a small smile, knowing she meant well. “Thank you.”

But she wasn’t done. Third degree over for you, it was now Yoongi’s turn.

“What if it was the other way around?”

“Huh?” She’d lost you.

“What if Yoongi’s the one who catches feelings?”

“Pftttt.” You couldn’t help but laugh. “Not gonna happen.”

“Why is it so impossible,” she asked, eyes narrowing.

“Just is.”

She sighed at your lack of engagement, hugging her legs to her chest. “I’m just saying, sex isn’t always as simple as it seems.”

You paused, sensing her change in tone. You thought you understood why she was so passionate about this now… Leaning forward over the armrest of the chair, you asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

She shook her head no, voice quiet. “We’re talking about your thing now.”

“We can talk about both,” you insisted softly. “Come on, something must have happened.”

You wondered what it could have been. Her and Taehyung were all drunk and giddy last night, sucking face at Hobi’s place, rolling about while on the phone to you…

“It didn’t,” she replied. “Not really.”

You waited for more. Patience was key when it came to Seulgi. Finally, she sighed.

“It’s me. I’m the one who caught feelings.”

“Guys, this is a social gathering,” Seokjin whined. “Which means we’re supposed to gather and be social.”

Yoongi didn’t even bother looking at his best friend, who was sat on the sofa opposite, when he replied. Too preoccupied with you sitting in his lap. “Thanks for stating the obvious, smartass. We are socialising.”

“With each other.”

“Leave them alone, they’re cute,” Dana chided her boyfriend, lightly whacking his shoulder.

Jin pouted, crossing his arms. “We’re cuter.”

The room erupted into noise as all four of you started laughing. It had been about a month since everyone had found out about you and Yoongi, and by now it had long become normal. So normal in fact, that Dana calling you cute was heard without much thought. You were all just friend who hung out together. Two were in a relationship, two were having casual sex, and one was…

“Can we feel for me for a moment?” Hoseok whined. The only one who hadn’t joined in with the laughter. “I’m the fifth wheel.”

“Awh, Hobi,” Dana said from across the room. Unfortunately for him, he was sat next to you and Yoongi. “You could have invited someone.”

He brought his bottle of beer to his lips, taking a mouthful before glancing at you. “I was kind of hoping Seulgi would come.”

Yoongi sniggered. “Haven’t heard the news?”

“Don’t tell me she’s with that guy I saw at my party?” he sighed, face falling dramatically.

You laughed. “’Fraid so.”

Taking another drink, he shrugged. “Ah well, plenty more fish in the sea.”

Wow, he’d gotten over the news impressively quick… Not that it came as a surprise. As much as you liked Hoseok, you were glad Seulgi had finally realised there would never be something serious with him. You were just happy things with Taehyung seemed to be going in the opposite direction. After a momentarily blip, they’d both confessed how they really felt. It was amazing to see your best friend so happy, and secretly, you hoped one day you’d have that again too…

“I’m gonna text her, say congrats,” Hoseok continued, pulling out his phone.

“How nice of you.”

“Then I think I’m gonna ask that chick I met last weekend to come over.” Hoseok looked over at Jin as Yoongi scoffed, one hand casually skimming down your thigh. “Is that okay, bro?”

“I guess,” Jin shrugged. “There should be enough food to go around. Shit, where’s my wallet?”

“Didn’t you have it in the kitchen?” Dana asked.

You watched on as Jin beamed his girlfriend’s way, planting a kiss on her temple. “You’re so smart, baby.”

“I know.”

He was right, they were cuter.

With Jin in the kitchen searching around for his wallet and Hoseok busy texting “that chick”, Yoongi wasted no time with distracting you again, whispering low in your ear as you giggled. It was crazy, even after all this time hooking up you still couldn’t keep your hands off one another. As his mouth found your earlobe, Hoseok groaned.

“Fuck sake, can you guys knock it off. Dana, still think this shit is cute? They’re about five minutes away from fucking on your couch.”

“Hobi!” you cried, feeling your face burn up. Yoongi just chuckled.

Before she could reply, the door buzzer in the hallway went off.

“That must be the delivery guy! He’s early!” Jin yelled from the kitchen.

“I’ll get it.” Dana wasted no time, hopping off the sofa, almost as if she wanted to escape.

That just left Hoseok, and Yoongi being Yoongi decided to fuck with him some more, kissing your cheek loudly. Then again. And again. Much to his friend’s visible disgust. You couldn’t help but giggle, “pushing” Yoongi off, but not really. He wrapped his arms around your middle, squeezing you to him with a laugh off his own.

“Jin!” Dana’s voice was loud, almost enough to distract you.

“I’m coming! Just counting out cash. How much was it again?”

“Seokjin!”

This time she sounded shrill, and Jin came hurrying out of the kitchen, a little alarmed. “What’s up?”

“Come here, please. Now.”

You, Yoongi and Hobi looked at each other in confusion as Jin rushed into the hallway, the latter even standing up to follow, but then you heard a familiar voice from behind the wall that made you freeze up. It couldn’t be. You must have been hearing things, but one look at Hoseok’s face told you that you weren’t. He looked just as shocked as you. Yoongi’s arms around your waist loosened, and you knew he recognised it too. For some reason you couldn’t look at him though. Too busy fighting the rising panic you were feeling.

There were footsteps, more voices, Jin and Dana’s, in such a flap they spoke over one another. You looked over at the doorway, heart hammering in your chest now, and that’s when you saw him. Namjoon. He appeared around the corner, smile big, just the way you remembered it, and it widened when he saw Hoseok, automatically reaching in for a hug, but then… he noticed you. Slowly, realisation took over his features, confusion written all over his face before his brows pinched together, his eyes flicking to the guy whose lap you were in. The remainder of his smile disappeared instantly, expression turning suddenly.

“What the fuck.”

There was silence.

You tried to find your voice, his name trembling from your lips. “N-Namjoon…”

His looked away from you, turning to Hoseok, and then behind him where Jin and Dana stood. “What the fuck is going on?” he demanded, his hands balling into fists.

You clambered out of Yoongi’s lap, legs shaky, still unable to look at him. Your hands felt cold and clammy, but the rest of you was boiling hot, and your head whirred. You were so shocked you couldn’t think straight.

“Joon, hey, uh, calm down, yeah?” Hoseok said, stepping closer, attempting to placate his best friend.

From beside you came Yoongi’s voice, even and horribly calm. “Hey, Namjoon. Long time no see.”

“You fucker!”

Everything happened so fast after that it was all a blur. You remembered seeing Namjoon’s eyes flash with fresh anger before he launched himself at Yoongi. Then there was a commotion, some yelling, before he stood a few feet away from you both, held back by both Jin and Hoseok.

“Woah, woah, woah.” Jin’s voice was firm. “Not here, okay?”

“Namjoon, it’s not what it looks like–” you heard yourself begin, but you were unable to finish. It was exactly what it looked like. Almost.

He didn’t hear you anyway, too busy straining against Jin’s grip. Hoseok had let go by now, stepping in between him and Yoongi.

“Let go of me, Jin!”

“No!” The older guy sounded uncharacteristically mad. “You can’t just come back here and start shit. Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Start shit?!” Namjoon yelled in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me right now, Jin?”

“He’s right,” Hoseok said. “Just think about this rationally.”

“What the fuck. I leave town 3 months ago and here he is,” he stopped to point at Yoongi, “jumping straight into my grave! How long?” He was breathing heavy by now, and when he spoke again, he sounded threatening. “How long has it been going on, Yoongi?”

Yoongi, who had been watching on entirely unbothered, shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Namjoon’s nostrils flared, attempting to lunge again, but Jin’s grip was firm. “If I found out it was before we broke up…”

“Of course it wasn’t!” you cried, unable to believe he could even assume that.

Namjoon ignored you again, and you couldn’t work out if it was intentional or not. It hurt either way though.

Tugging from Jin’s grip, the other guy finally let him go. “You two just let this happen?” he scoffed, rounding on his two friends. “You replaced me straight away?”

“Fuck you.”

Jin’s outburst shocked you, and you made eye contact with Dana who was still stood by the door. She looked panicked.

“Nobody replaced anyone. Yoongi is our friend too. Always has been,” Jin began his tirade. “You’re the one who decided to leave out of the blue. You’re the one who left everyone to pick up the pieces,” he paused to take a breath. “And you’re the one who’s just suddenly shown up here.”

“It was a surprise.”

For the first time, Namjoon didn’t sound angry. He sounded hurt.

“I wanted to surprise you.”

A silence followed, Hoseok and Jin dropping their heads, feeling guilty.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It wasn’t our place to tell,” Hoseok muttered. “Besides, you haven’t been the easiest to get hold of lately…”

Namjoon shook his head, chuckling wearily, his gaze finally catching yours. “How long has this been going on for?” His voice was barely there.

“A couple of months.” Your voice trembled, feeling like you wanted to cry, but no tears would come.

Fresh anger spread across his face, tone changing instantly. “Are you fucking serious, _____?” It made you shrink back into the couch.

“What right do you even have to be mad?” Yoongi said from beside you, finally some emotion in his voice. Irritation.

“I have every fucking right, you snake!” Namjoon exploded. “You know why. Bet you couldn’t contain yourself when you found out I left. Waiting–”

“Shut. Up.”

Yoongi was up out of his seat, frightening you with his sudden aggression. You’d never seen him like this. You’d never seen either of them like this. Hoseok placed a hand on his chest, ready to hold him back if needs be.

“Or, what? You’ll make me?” Namjoon stopped to laugh, before smirking and glancing at you briefly. “You and I both know I have the upper hand here.”

Yoongi noticeably backed down, and after a moment of silence his voice was low. He sounded different. Almost worried? But that didn’t really make sense. “Namjoon, listen. It just happened, okay? We were hanging out and one thing led to an–”

He didn’t get to finish, Namjoon’s fist hitting him square in the jaw, sending him flying back into the couch. You cried his name, in shock, but instinctively you reached for him.

“Fuck,” he muttered, cradling the side of his face in his palm, amongst all the commotion. Jin and Hoseok were holding Namjoon back again, unsure if he was going to throw another hit. Yoongi looked up, his eyes filled with fury. “What the fuck?”

Namjoon tugged at his human restraints, able to free a hand so he could point accusingly at Yoongi. If Yoongi’s eyes were filled with rage, Namjoon’s were murderous. “You’re fucking pathetic!”

“Quit it,” Hoseok tried, straining against the strength of his best friend. “Fuck, Joon, calm down!”

“Do you think she wants you? Do you think you mean anything to her?! You’re fucking deluded!”

You couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying, his words a blur.

“Shut the fuck up,” Yoongi snarled. “You’re the pathetic one. You left her, Namjoon. Whatever you have to say doesn’t mean shit!”

“Yoongi, chill,” Jin shot.

“Me?! He’s the one who just fucking hit me!”

“This is fucking ridiculous,” Namjoon fumed, shaking his friends off him. “Let go of me. I’m fine, I’m fine.” Hesitantly, they listened, still looking wary. “There’s no point wasting my energy on him.” He turned to you then, his voice soft. But now it sounded alien. “_____, can we talk? Alone?”

You felt Yoongi tense beside you and shook your head.

“Please?”

“Not tonight.” Your voice was small.

“Come on, you’re going to stay with him?” Namjoon said, scoffing slightly. “Please, just hear me out.”

“Listen to her, man,” Jin said from behind him. “She doesn’t want to speak to you tonight.” He placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a comforting squeeze. “Let’s just go outside, take a breather.”

To your surprise, he agreed, taking a step back. Maybe all the fight had left him. Hoseok followed them towards the kitchen, where the balcony was, but Jin hung back, checking on Dana, taking hold of her hand. “I won’t be long, okay?”

“Take your time,” she replied, kissing his cheek.

He smiled softly and then turned to Yoongi. “Are you alright?”

“I’ll live,” Yoongi chuckled humourlessly before noticing his best friend’s reluctance. “It’s fine, go. We can talk tomorrow.”

With a nod of his head, Jin walked out.

“Are you okay?” Dana asked you immediately, rushing forward. You nodded. The air still felt a little heavy, but at least there was silence. At least there wasn’t any more fighting. “Sure?”

“I think we’re just gonna go,” you managed to get out, your voice sounding hoarse.

“Both of you?” She sounded surprised.

You nodded again before turning to Yoongi. He did want to leave, right? “Yoongi?”

He looked a little shocked, probably still a little dazed from the punch, but he agreed, already standing up.

“Okay, well, I’ll message you tomorrow?” Dana asked, watching you get up too. She followed you to the door. “I’m really sorry, _____. I thought he was the delivery guy, I tried to think of a way to stop him coming inside.”

“It’s okay, Dana,” you managed to smile. “It’s not your fault.”

Thankfully Yoongi had brought his car tonight, missing out on the alcohol because he had work early in the morning, but the car ride was made in almost complete silence. You stared out the passenger’s window, lost in thought as you replayed what had just happened over and over again in your mind. It didn’t seem real, and you were still trying to wrap your head around it.

“Want me to drop you off home?”

Yoongi’s voice cut through the silence like a knife, making you jump a little. Going home was probably the best idea, but the selfish part of you didn’t want to be alone. You didn’t want to leave him either.

“I want to go back with you. If that’s okay?” You sounded exhausted. Not so much physically, just mentally.

You could sense Yoongi glancing at you, but kept staring out of the window, trees and signposts whizzing by. “Of course it’s okay,” he said after a few seconds.

His place was dark and quiet when you arrived, and you guessed Jimin was out. It was the start of the weekend after all. You kicked off your shoes and followed Yoongi to his room. Things felt weird, and you wondered then why were you here? You were forcing your baggage on Yoongi, but then… maybe you were both in this together… Your emotions were all over the place. You felt shock, anger, frustration… worry… guilt… It was a mess. Everything was a mess. But right now, it felt like Yoongi was the only person who could understand. The only person who felt the same as you.

Yoongi sat on the edge of his bed, and you followed, a new emotion bubbling to the surface. Concern.

“Hey, let me have a look at your face.” You took his jaw in your hands, making him turn to face you as gently as you could manage.

He tried to shrug you off. “It’s fine.” And he didn’t meet your eyes when you angled his chin upwards. “There’s really no need.”

You narrowed your eyes at the dried blood at the corner of his lips. “You were bleeding.”

“Yeah, he fucking split my lip open.” This time you let him pull away, watching him rub at the blood with his thumb.

“Stop. It’ll start up again.”

He listened, dropping his hand into his lap. Silence stretched between you, guilt eating you up.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice was small.

“Why are you sorry?” Yoongi sounded baffled, finally looking into your eyes.

“He hit you.”

It was all your fault.

Yoongi just scoffed. “He’s been wanting to do that a real long time. Trust me.” When he saw you didn’t look convinced, he added, “You have nothing to be sorry about, _____.”

You nodded slowly, but your mind was starting to whirr again.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi asked, watching you carefully. “You don’t have to pretend.”

“I’m just in shock. I wasn’t…”

“Expecting him to walk through the door?” he finished for you. “Yeah, neither was I.”

You still couldn’t believe what had happened, finding it hard to wrap your head around. It didn’t feel real.

“I’m surprised you didn’t stay.”

“Stay?” You looked at Yoongi, surprised. “I don’t want to hear what he has to say.”

Yoongi raised his brows. “You’re mad at him?”

“Of course I am. He hit you.”

That wasn’t the Namjoon you had known. That was a stranger.

“What if I had hit him instead?” Yoongi asked unexpectedly. He saw the confusion on your face. “How would you feel then? I really fucking wanted to…”

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t.” It was all you could say, not really understanding why he was asking you something like that.

Yoongi watched you, dark eyes roaming your face as if he was looking for something. Finally, he murmured, “He was saying some pretty crazy things…”

“Can we just,” you paused to let out a weak sigh, “can we just not talk about him?”

You didn’t even want to think about his name at this point.

“Sure.” Yoongi agreed easily.

Thankful he’d listened you shot him a grateful smile, unable to stop yourself from reaching for his face again, inspecting it some more.

He sighed your name, chuckling quietly. “I said I’m fine.”

“I don’t think you’ll bruise.”

He gave you a small smile – the fondness something you’d grown used to over the weeks. You couldn’t help but reach forward and place a kiss on his mouth. He pulled back slightly, and you panicked. “Sorry, did I hurt you?”

“Not that,” he shook his head. “Just wasn’t expecting the kiss.”

And then he leaned in for more.

The first few presses of his mouth seemed a little off, as if he was hesitant, but when yours grew a little hasty he eased up, kiss becoming firmer, a hand reaching to wind through your hair. Kissing his bottom lip softly, you managed to pull away. “You’d tell me if it hurts, right?”

His gaze was on your mouth, thumb rubbing circles against your cheekbone. “Yeah, I’d tell you,” he murmured, unable to keep from kissing you.

“I just want to forget about tonight.”

You accidentally said the words out loud and Yoongi pulled back, his eyes now searching your own. His expression was unreadable, but you worried yours was an open book, regardless of how conflicted you felt. Then, something switched.

“C’mere.”

Snaking his arms around your waist, he urged you to climb into his lap, his mouth on yours once again. Only this time the kiss was rough, bruising almost, teeth grazing your bottom lip as he sucked it into his mouth, nibbling and tugging it as he pleased. If his jaw hurt, he didn’t show it. Didn’t notice it. Sliding your fingers through his hair, you clung to him tightly, wanting to feel him as close as possible, the familiar urge taking over you like it always did with him. Tonight was already becoming a distant memory. A little bit longer and you could pretend like it never happened at all…

When his hands started exploring your body it kicked your hips into action, rolling into him as one hand groped your ass and the other glided over the curve of your right tit. You could feel the heat at your face and between your legs, the throb of excitement making your heart pound. Yoongi’s hand slipped under the skirt of your dress, gripping the flesh to make you rock harder, causing you to choke out a moan. He swallowed it right up, fingers now pushing under the material of your thong, running along the thin strip, but not quite stopping where you wanted him to. So, instead, you ground harder.

He immediately pulled his head back to chuckle. Almost gleeful at that. “You can’t get enough.”

It was true.

It had been true for so long now.

“Take your panties off.”

His deep voice was in your ear, breath hot, lips wet, and you shut your eyes when you felt his lips at your jaw, kissing to your chin, before licking his way back to your ear again, digging the muscle inside and making you shudder. With shaky hands, you lifted your ass up as best you could, a hand reaching up your dress to drag your underwear off. It was clumsy and rushed, Yoongi’s mouth now sucking marks on your neck, making no attempt to help you as you struggled to remove the flimsy piece of cotton. Finally successful, he tugged the panties from your hand and dropped them to the floor. You leaned into kiss him, but he pulled back.

“Unzip my jeans too.”

He was full of orders tonight and it just seemed to turn you on even more. You were wet, could feel yourself, and you watched him with wide, needy eyes as you listened to his demand, Yoongi lifting his ass up slightly so you could work the piece of clothing down around his thighs. “If you want me to fuck you, gotta show me how much,” he muttered. “Get me hard.”

With delayed realisation, his words sunk in. He wasn’t hard yet. For the first time ever, he wasn’t hard. It threw you for a moment, but then he was talking again, voice coaxing you to him. “Babe, make me hard,” he said, all breath, “can’t fuck you if my dick isn’t working.”

You loved it when he called you babe. It sounded so natural now, as if you’d always been his babe. So, with determination, you started rubbing him through his boxers. You were going to work for this. His mouth finally found yours again, tongues meshing together outside of your mouths almost crudely, in a rush, with an urge.

He started to grow hard from the moment you touched him, blood rushing, until he was rock solid against your hand, the friction driving him crazy. He tugged at his boxers, pushing them past his thighs himself, and growled when you wrapped your fist around the base of his dick. He pulsed once, flesh burning hot, before you started moving, close to the head of his cock, your thumb spreading the first bead of precum.

Eager to touch you too, he slipped his hand up your dress, gripping your bare ass before the tips of his fingers travelled lightly along your slit. He made a deep approving noise when he found you were already soaked for him. “Good girl. Didn’t even need my help.”

And then suddenly, he had a long, deft finger inside of you.

You jerked forward with a surprised moan, the hand not wrapped around his dick flying into his shoulder, holding on. You kissed once, then twice, before you couldn’t quite keep up anymore, his finger pressing and curling against your walls. Your fist tried to work in time with his movements, jerking him steadily, making sure to concentrate on the tip, mutually pleasuring one another.

You murmured his name brokenly, and he grunted in approval. “Yeah, that’s me.” His other hand squeezed your ass, fingering you a little faster in reward. “Be a little louder, tell me what you want.”

Confident Jimin was out of the house, you gave him what he wanted, moaning more than necessary, and not afraid to ask for more.

“Another?” he asked, tugging your bottom lip between his. You nodded and immediately felt fuller, the stretch of a second finger already that more pleasurable. He fucked you straight with them, making you cry out, not even trying this time around, and despite not being able to think properly, your tongue chased his. You tried to keep your hand in time with his, but your movements were getting clumsy. Not that he seemed to mind when you gradually gave up.

Your hips jerked back and forth, trying to get as much as you could, practically fucking yourself on his fingers, and all you could think about was Yoongi and the pleasure. Nothing else mattered right now, and the last of your frustration and upset was seeping away. If you wanted to be clever – spiteful – it was trailing down Yoongi’s knuckles, and just kept coming.

“Yeah, grind like that,” he encouraged, voice deep, hand gripping your butt, rolling you into him. Then, he spanked you loudly. “Let me hear you.”

The smack was ringing in your ears, so you had no clue how loud you were being when you obeyed, your fingers digging into his shoulders as you lifted your hips up, so desperate you were trying to ride his fingers. You felt the careful press of another finger, your gut squeezing in anticipation as Yoongi began working it inside of you. Slowly at first, but when he noticed how easy it was, he slid the rest of the way in.

“Three,” he commented matter-of-fact.

You groaned out some type of response, the stretch so pleasurable you swore your eyes were about to roll to the back of your head. The burn was delightful, and you just felt so full. You circled your hips faster, wanting him to move, to fuck your brains out, even if it was only with his fingers.

“You’re fucking greedy tonight, babe,” he laughed. It almost sounded patronising, but you loved it, moan turning whiny. “Why is that?”

“I-I want you,” you manged to choke out, hands grabbing at his t-shirt. Naked would be even better.

“I can see that,” he smirked, eyes glancing south, but the skirt of your dress shrouded his view.

“Yoongi, please.”

You didn’t even know what you were begging for.

He let out a little hum. “Do you think I can fit a fourth?” As he fucked into you, he squeezed his pinky inside.

You buckled, face falling into his shoulder, breathing heavily against the clammy skin of his neck. Lifting your ass just enough, he had perfect access to keep snapping his wrist. Pressure started to grow heavy in the pit of your stomach and you felt hot all over.

“Such a greedy pussy,” Yoongi husked, the fingers of his other hand stroking one cheek of your ass. “Listen to how wet you are. I fucking love that sound.”

The squelching noises were loud, and a couple of months ago just the thought of Yoongi pointing it out would have made you embarrassed, but now not so much. Not at all actually. He made you so wet it felt at times as if it should be humanly impossible. He did things to your body you didn’t think were possible. He did things to you that seemed entirely unimaginable.

“Babe, lean back for me. Let me see you.”

You let Yoongi guide you because you felt all trembly, sitting back on his lap as the bed creaked under you. You’d fucked so many times on this bed, fast and hard, and in all directions, you were surprised it hadn’t given up all together. Intrusively, you started to wonder how many people he’d had sex with on here but stopped yourself. It was stupid of you, and embarrassingly it made you feel weird. What did it matter?

His thumb started rubbing your clit at just the right moment, distracting you, making you feel like you were about to explode all over his ceiling. You gripped his t-shirt again, thighs shaking as he fucked you as quick as he could, so stuffed it was making things difficult.

“Ngnn, please – oh, fuck.”

“You still want more?” He sounded amazed.

You leaned in, attempting to kiss him, but it was messy and wet. “Want your d–shit– Yoongi, I’m g-gonna–”

He laughed at that. “I have never met someone who cums so easily as you.” He stopped the movements of his hand at that, staring you straight in the eyes, but you were too far gone, needily grinding all over him, wanting him to continue. He cocked an eyebrow. “I must just get you, huh?”

“You do,” you agreed, nodding rapidly, nails digging into his shoulders. “P-please, Yoongs. Fuck me now.”

You needed everything he could give you.

“You have to slow down for that,” he laughed. “So horny, look at you.”

You whined, voice croaky, frustrated. You didn’t know what you wanted. You wanted to cum, you wanted his dick inside you. You just wanted him, period.

At that, he started pressing and curling his fingers as best he could, leaning in, voice low and almost mean sounding. “Beg for me a little, babe, and maybe I’ll give you what you want.”

It came easy.

“Please, p-please, Yoongi,” you pleaded, pressing your mouth into his, making sure your tone was that sugary sweet one he couldn’t say no to. Then, all breath and like something possessed: “Please fuck me.”

“Okay, okay,” he soothed, as if you were a crying baby, his free hand reaching up to hold your cheek, fingers catching in your hair. He gave you one long, hard kiss and then pulled away. “I need to get a condom.”

“No,” you clutched onto his t-shirt, not wanting him to stop even for just one second. You wanted his dick, but you also wanted his fingers, no pause in between. “N-no need.”

He raised his brows slightly, surprised, but your words seemed to do something to him. He kissed you roughly, a moan ripping past his throat, and his movements sped up, the squelching of your pussy only getting louder. His lips bruised down your chin, towards your neck. “Want me to fuck you raw, babe?”

“Yes–!”

You were so close to coming, your vision blurring. He nudged you closer before gripping his cock, and you felt guilty, knowing you’d pretty much neglected him the entire time. He jerked his hand over himself a couple of times, getting ready to push inside you. But it wasn’t quick enough.

“Shit, Y-Yoongi–Oh, my god–” The feeling washed over you all too suddenly despite knowing it was inevitably about to happen. “I’m coming–‘m coming ohhh…”

You clung to him, body seizing up as the pleasure started rocking through your body, but mid-orgasm, skilled and quick, Yoongi replaced his fingers with his cock. The sudden fill, much deeper, had your high lasting longer. Or maybe you were just coming again, you didn’t know. But what you did know was that it felt too good to process. Sometimes the sex with Yoongi didn’t feel real, and each time you though okay, this was the best yet, another time proved you wrong. This was one of those times, but who knew how you’d feel next week.

“Shit,” he muttered, thrusting quickly and feeling you squeeze around him desperately. “Fuck. You love making things hard for me.”

You had enough energy to giggle – however weakly – and tried to catch your breath, steadying yourself, shaky from your orgasm.

He clutched your hips, voice husky, one hand still sticky with your arousal. “My turn now, yeah?”

You nodded.

“Think you can handle it?”

You nodded again, gripping his shoulders, readying yourself because he was about to fuck you hard and fast.

“That’s my girl,” he praised, voice low, and then he begun.

Sometimes there was nothing hotter than the feeling of Yoongi using your body for relief. After he’d made you cum; once, twice, maybe even three times (because yes, he was absolutely right, you came so easily it was almost absurd), you’d lie on your back or front for him, let him take what he wanted. Tonight was new though. As in, you’d never been on top in this situation. It took a lot more effort you’d admit. But the ache inside you was almost gratifying. Especially with the way Yoongi was watching you.

“Gonna cum so hard,” he managed to get out, and you could only kiss him in return. Unsure how else to express yourself. You loved making him cum, possibly as much as he loved making you cum, you just didn’t tell him as often – if at all. It gave you a deep satisfaction that you often couldn’t explain.

Right now the kiss was desperate and messy, mostly hot, sticky breath and clashing teeth. Yoongi was close already, finding it hard to concentrate on each thrust. He got like that sometimes and it was such a turn on. To know sometimes you made him unable to think straight. He had his arms wrapped tightly around you, his lips moving to your throat before he hung his head, his movements growing harder, more intense. Determined.

“Wanna cum inside you so badly…”

His voice was barely there, almost like he’d accidentally voiced his thoughts, but you heard it, hypersensitive when it came to him. The ache inside you meant something else now. It was an urge, and it had been building up for quite some time. Or so it felt like it had.

“Do it.”

His head shot up, a noise something like puzzlement leaving him, and his thrusts faltered.

“It’s fine,” you insisted, lost in the moment, babbling. “I’m on the pill.”

After that one off the night of Hoseok’s party you’d gone back to using condoms. That night something had been holding you back from revealing the truth, from letting Yoongi cum inside you, but that feeling had gone now. You were sure of it, and especially after tonight.

You reached for him, clutching his face, needing this, watching the slight pinch of his forehead smooth out. “Cum inside me, Yoongi.”

“Yeah?” he murmured.

“Please.”

He rocked his hips once, twice, a third time, before his palms squeezed your ass, pushing you to him, his mouth pressed against your throat as he panted. Each snap of his hips got rougher, quicker, chasing the end, losing himself in the feeling of you. You moaned for him.

“Mhmm, yeah,” he grunted quietly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He fucked you through his orgasm, quiet noises catching in his throat as he spilled into you, and you swore you could feel it. You clung to him, lowering your mouth to find his, kissing him deeply. This was the closest you’d felt to him yet, and it just seemed so…normal. He held you to him after he was done and you continued to kiss him, taking all that you could, because afterwards you knew you’d have to start thinking again, start talking again.

Yoongi was first to pull away, wincing slightly before patting his mouth. You panicked, suddenly remembering. “Sorry, did I hurt you?” His lips looked red and swollen, but that could also be from all the making out.

He shook his head, “no, don’t worry.”

He wasn’t touching you now and as he moved slightly, he fell out of you. You hated that feeling. Emptiness. But he gave you a smile and that did its job at reassuring you. Like it always did.

You let out a dreamy sigh, body feeling an exhausted tingle. “That was…”

Your vocabulary failed you at the last second, but Yoongi agreed anyway, chuckling quietly.

“The pill thing… I, uh, you can’t be too sure sometimes.”

Technically Yoongi didn’t know how long you’d been on birth control, but it was fairly obvious it had been way before him, and you felt awkward for not telling him, awkward for making up some kind of white lie. It was stupid, you highly doubted he cared. And to prove your point, he laughed, his hands roaming up your back.

“Double dutching seems like something you’d insist on.”

“Hey,” you shot, pushing his shoulder playfully.

Did he really believe that? Or was he just trying to play along, guessing the real reason why…

He cleared his throat. “I hope you didn’t feel pressured by what I said, I was just talking in the moment or some shit…”

“No, it’s fine,” you reassured. “I didn’t. I wanted you to do it too.”

You hoped he understood what you really meant. By the way his eyes roved your face, you were sure he did. Carefully, he placed a chaste kiss on your mouth. The action was so tender, so loving, something inside you shook. You felt strange and got off his lap quite quickly after that. Maybe you were starting to come down from the shock of tonight.

“I need the bathroom.”

“You okay?” he asked, watching you wobble with mild concern.

“Legs are shaky.” Your laugh sounded a little too high pitched.

He chuckled. “Same.”

In the bathroom, you sat on the toilet long after you’d peed already, thinking. Just thinking. Alone for the first time, you went over what had happened at Jin and Dana’s apartment. It was even more of a blur now, but you remembered how Namjoon had barely looked your direction, too busy yelling at Yoongi. That had hurt you, hurt you even more just thinking about it now…

You stood, scared that if you thought too much you’d land back in square one. You didn’t want to think of him, especially after how he’d acted tonight. That wasn’t your Namjoon. But how stupid of you, he’d stopped being yours so long ago now. Three months ago? Even longer if you thought about it. He’d been planning to leave way before he’d told you…

You found yourself in the shower, needing another distraction, and the scent of Yoongi’s shower gel soothed you a little. Coconut and shea butter. What you could smell when you were wrapped up in his body. Thinking about him now, you felt a little niggle of self-doubt. For the first time in a while you started to wonder if what you were doing was wrong. It didn’t feel wrong, but Namjoon’s reaction made you look at things differently. He and Yoongi weren’t friends anymore, but they shared a history. You knew what it looked like, and that was using Yoongi to get at your ex. But it wasn’t like that at all… You were positive…

Or as positive as you could be.

Just now Yoongi had cum inside you, something you hadn’t wanted at all for a long time, too soon after your breakup with Namjoon, but it had felt right, natural even, to let him tonight. In the heat of the moment it all made sense, but now, here in the shower, you started to wonder if you’d only done it to get back at Namjoon. He had hurt you tonight, and it had felt sort of vindicating to have sex with Yoongi straight after… You felt like a bitch and your head was a mess, not sure what you felt anymore. Seeing Namjoon in person had thrown you for a loop. You needed to get some sleep.

You found a fresh towel to wrap around yourself and sure that Jimin was still out you made your way back to Yoongi’s room, surprised to find the lights were off and he was in bed, back to you, asleep you presumed. Quietly you crept around, just enough moonlight to get to his wardrobe and find a t-shirt of his to slip on. It struck you how natural that had become now, how comfortable you had become with one another in such a short space of time. It made your chest ache a little and you didn’t know why.

You got into bed and shut your eyes, determined to shut your brain off and go to sleep. You kept telling yourself that tomorrow you’d wake up and see everything with a refreshed mind, but there was a part of you that didn’t believe it would be so easy. From behind you, you felt Yoongi turn around slowly, mattress dipping with his weight.

“What took you so long?”

“I took a shower.” You voice felt funny.

There was a beat of silence. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about…it?”

“You have work in the morning,” you whispered. You’d already ruined his night and now you were about to make him too exhausted for tomorrow.

“Who cares about that. Turn around, let me see your face.” He sounded so gentle, you couldn’t help but listen. Eyes adjusted to the darkness now, you could make out the soft features of his face. He took your hand under the covers. “Let’s talk,” he murmured. “It’s not good to bottle things up.”

“I know.”

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

You couldn’t help the small smile that crept its way onto your face. “I know that, too.”

He returned it gently, almost sadly.

“I really am sorry for getting you into this mess.” Your voice wobbled into the night.

“Hey,” he breathed, the hand on yours now reaching for your cheek. “Don’t be.” The pads of his fingers soothed your skin, and you closed your eyes, enjoying the sensation. “I was in it anyway, makes no difference that he’s found out.”

His words didn’t really make sense to you, but you guessed it was something to do with him and Namjoon. You touched his face and felt the warmth of his mouth against your thumb. He kissed it once, and you thought: he really cares about me. No matter what type of thing you had going on here, you’d become friends, and you cherished that friendship. He’d been there for you through the breakup when he didn’t have to be.

Your mind fleeted back to Namjoon. “I was finally used to not having him around and now he’s back.”

You’d finally gotten over him, you thought to yourself, but didn’t want to say it out loud. A part of you wasn’t ready to, despite confessing something similar to Seulgi a month ago. Although getting over the breakup and getting over Namjoon were two totally different things, however stupid that sounded. You’d done both, but now you were shaken.

“He’ll be gone soon. He’s probably just visiting for the weekend.”

“It was such a blur.” You were talking without really thinking now.

Yoongi’s forehead creased. “You don’t remember what he was saying?”

“Bits and pieces,” you shrugged. “I just know he was acting like an aggressive idiot.”

Yoongi sighed softly, rolling onto his back. “Maybe it was justified.”

The sick feeling you’d been trying to ignore until now grew stronger. You wanted reassurance. “Do you think we’re doing something wrong?”

He turned his head to look at you. “You’re not.”

Frowning, unable to think anymore, you moved in closer, resting your head onto his chest. He wrapped his arm around you and kissed the top of your head. “You’re tired.”

He let you an exhausted chuckle. “A little.”

You closed your eyes, determined to forget everything just for tonight.

“And I think you’re wrong, by the way,” he added. “Definitely gonna bruise. I bruise like a peach.”

That made you snort, despite everything. “Go to sleep.”

He squeezed you tighter to him. “You too.”

Written 2018 - 2021. Reworked/re-edited 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

#yoongi smut #yoongi fanfic #bts smut #bts fanfic #floralseokjin:writings #fic:pbn

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redrobin-detective · 5 years

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Lesson One: Be Yourself, Lesson Two: Forget Lesson One

I’m back on my bullshit again with a Wayne Girls shot. I think I’d mentioned waaay back in the day when I was talking about my genderbent Robins/Batgirls that fem-Tim/Tabitha would have a much more complex and kind of ugly relationship with her father. Jack Drake strikes me as a man who wouldn’t be happy to learn that his precious princess was actually a scarily competent combatant. Uh expect more stuff like this because I’m trash.

“Don’t stand like that,” Jack Drake said in a quiet, irritated voice out of the corner of his mouth while Dana was on the other side of the kitchen putting away leftovers. Tabitha looked over at her father in confusion as she set down the dish she was drying.

“Like what, Daddy?”

“Like you’re about to punch some hopped up junkie drug lord out,” he responded harshly, taking a moment to frown at her in a way he probably thought was intimidating but she’d learned to weather Batman’s disappointment so it was lukewarm at best. Still, she mentally assessed her position and posture. Had the reveal and forced retirement of her cape caused her to slip into fight mode even at home? Her shoulders were back, she was comfortably balanced with one hip jutting slightly off to the side. True, she could be battle ready in moments but she didn’t feel like Robin right now. She felt just like Tabitha Janette Drake, as much as she knew who that was nowadays.

“I’m just standing here, I’m not-” she defended

“Are you two keeping secrets from me?” Dana teased from across the room causing her and Dad to freeze but Dana seemed oblivious to the palpable tension. “Well I think it’s great the two of you are connecting, I’ll be watching TV in the living room when you’re done conspiring.” She added with a wink before leaving the kitchen entirely. Tabitha wrung out the semi-wet dishcloth, trying to figure out how to navigate this awkward situation. Robin training didn’t cover ‘how to cool your parent’s jets about your vigilantism’ if only because pretty much everyone else was an orphan. Dad sighed roughly, rubbing his eyes with one hand while the other braced on the counter.

“Honey, we’ve talked about this.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong,” she frowned back, putting her hands on her hips. “All I’m doing is washing the dishes; you’re the one making this weird.”

“No, this is what I’m talking about,” Dad said, angrily gesturing over at her. “You never used to do this before, you never used to-,” he stopped suddenly, pressing his lips together into a hard line.

“Never used to what?” Tabitha asked with annoyance.

“You never used to talk back to me like this,” he said finally. “Before, before Wayne you used to respect me. It was always ‘Yes, Daddy’ or ‘sorry Daddy’ and you were my perfect little princess. And now, now you’ve got scars and muscles and you’re looking at me like you’re contemplating the best way to crush my windpipe.”

“Daddy, that’s not even close to true,” Tabitha soothed, holding up her hands.

“See?” He gestured back, “Even my name doesn’t sound sincere, it just sounds fake. Everything you’ve been doing since I found out has seemed fake.”

“That’s because it is fake, Dad, it was all just an act to get you off my back,” she snapped before retreating back, demurely crossing her arms over her chest. So much for Father-Daughter bonding time. “I- you and mom didn’t want a scientist or president or, god forbid, a fighter. You wanted a princess and so I played the part, it began long before I approached Bruce and then it became a convenient way to divert suspicion about what I was doing.”

“What? So you faked your entire personality? Jesus Tabitha,” Dad laughed, leaning back against the counter and running his hand through his hair. “I feel like I don’t even know who you are anymore!”

“Well you never even bothered to learn about me in the first place, just as long as I was sweet and pretty and compliant you let me do just about whatever I wanted,” Tabitha shot back.

“That’s not true,” Dad retorted.

“Did you know I used to sneak out late at night and take pictures of Batman and Robin throughout Gotham when I was eight? I caught a plane to San Francisco when I was trying to convince Dick to become Robin again, used your credit card and everything. I’ve come home with everything from split lips to broken bones but as long as I covered it with enough make-up and charm, you didn’t notice. You were too busy chasing after your physical therapist.”

“Tabitha Drake that is uncalled for, you apologize right this minute,” Dad growled, putting his finger in her face. In the past, Beth would have simply lowered her eyes, said what her dad wanted to hear and that would have been the end of it. But now that he’s in on the big secret, taken Robin from along with all her friends, confidence and independence, she’s grown tired of all the deception. She looked him in the eye and gently but firmly brushed aside his patronizing finger.

“You’re right, I’m sorry, Dana is the best thing that could have happened to you but my other points remain,” she said resolutely. “You’re my dadd- my dad, I love you very much but this is who I am, who I’ve always been. It’s true I like sundresses and cute things but I also like punk music, skateboarding and putting together puzzles. Did you know I’m considered one the best bo staff users in the League and people look to me for answers and help. I understand why you don’t like me being Robin but I feel like I was doing something meaningful with my life, I felt like I was finally me.”

“No,” Dad laughed dismissively. “That’s Wayne talking, he turned you into this. You might think you like all this fighting and other nonsense but I know men like Wayne, they make manipulating sweet young girls like you into an art form.” He set his hands on her shoulders, “and now that I’ve gotten you out, you’ll see. You’ll go back to being my little princess and forget all about this nightmare.”

“Oh what, you think you saved me?” Tabitha spat, “like I was some damsel in distress? I was doing just fine before you decided being Robin was ruining my life.”

“You’re just a child, Tabitha, you don’t know what you want and don’t act like I’m some raging misogynist here to crush your dreams,” Dad rolled his eyes. “I’ve always supported women’s lib, your mother was tough as nails and Dana is smarter than me any day of the week. You’ve got to learn being a strong woman doesn’t mean you have to be, well, strong.”

“Because you’d prefer being the strong one in any relationship, usurping Mom’s family company and running it into the ground, pursuing Dana until she caved to your advances. You just want to control me like you have all the other women in your life,” Beth sneered, knowing she was going too far but when one truth came out, the rest tended to come along for the ride.

She saw it in his eyes, in his body language before he even started to move. It began with the twist of his back as his arm came up, preparing to strike her. Time seemed to slow down. She’s stunned in a way, her parents may have been negligent but they’d never raised a hand to her. True, she’d never spoken like this before but it’s still a bit terrifying in its own way. Had he ever hit Mom? Or Dana? Was he going to try and hit her anytime she said something he disagreed with? The open hand approached her and she watched it with detachment, as if it was a scene from a bad movie instead of her life.

She supposed she could let it connect, god knows she’s taken far worse hits. Maybe hitting her would release some of the tension and things could go back to normal. The thought startled her enough that pretty soon her instincts cut through the fog of her emotions and reacted. Her hand darted out and expertly struck his elbow, throwing off his momentum and allowing her to easily grasp his wrist before he managed to slap her. She could easily subdue him from this position but this was her Dad and instead she locked herself before she really hurt him. For a second, they stared at each other with matching looks of horror over what they’d each almost done.

“Are you guys still whispering in there?” Dana called from the other room and the spell was broken. Tabitha’s grasp slackened and Dad pulled his hand away and held it against his chest.

“Oh god Tabitha, I’m, shit, I’m so sorry I don’t what came over me, I- you know I would never hurt you, right baby?” Dad babbled, looking sad and pathetic. The hand that had almost slapped her said otherwise but she decided she’s spilled enough ugly truths tonight. She pulled the curtain closed around her heart and started in on damage control.

“I’m sorry too Daddy; I said some things I shouldn’t have,” she said, lowering her head and playing lightly with her fingers. “Is your wrist okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, quite a grip you have there, Tabby Cat,” and that brought a small smile to her face. He hasn’t called her that in years, hardly anyone called her Tabby anymore. It’s a childish name for someone who punched out people’s teeth on a nightly basis but she liked hearing it none the less. It felt a little bit like normal, even the fabricated normal she’d learned to live with. “And Tabitha, don’t- don’t act like that.”

“Like what?”

“You’ve got to stop pretending, baby girl,” he sighed and turned away from her. “I’m clearly not as good a parent as I thought I was, letting you live this whole other life behind my back. I’ll do better to get to know the real you if you stop hiding behind this imagined person you think I want you to be. Just be yourself, that’s all I want. Now that this Robin nonsense is over with, we have a chance to start over.”

“And what if you don’t like the real me?” she asked quietly.

“Oh I will, I’m sure,” he mumbled before twisting his mouth and looking away. “Come on, Dana’s waiting on us,” Dad said sternly before shoving his hands in his pockets and stalking out of the kitchen. He’d never been much of a liar preferring to ignore and redirect. Her mother had been great at it, telling bold deceptions with a sweet smile. Tabitha wondered if Dad saw Mom in her or if he saw something else entirely.

Either way, the full truth wasn’t going to do this family any good. Dad was already strained by recent revelations, her constant mouthing off and bossiness would be the final nail in the coffin of their relationship. Bruce and Rachel would give anything to have their fathers here, alive and worried about them, she should make more of an effort to get along. He doesn’t like this new, confident, domineering Beth and he’s seen through her saccharine pretend Tabby so perhaps something in the middle.

She’ll exchange ‘Dad’ for ‘Daddy’ and tone down the sweet, submissive innocence she’s used to sprinkling around him. It’s not quite the real Tabitha who swears like a sailor and can fit 8 marshmallows in her mouth and orders adults and metas around with the expectation of being obeyed but it’s close enough. Well not really but if she’s lying to everyone else she might as well lie to herself.

“Tab, are you almost done in there? Bring out some ice cream when you come,” Dana’s voice carried from the living room.

“Sure Dana,” Tabitha smiled a sweet smile that would fool almost anyone, and set out to do what her stepmother asked. It was what a good daughter did after all.

#wayne girls au #I have a lot more thoughts on how Jack and Tabs relationship would pan out #from early years where she was just a little girl to be seen not heard #ignored in favor of business and the next adventure #to the revelation that tab had faked most of her personality in front of him to keep him happy #didn't want to bother him by showing how strong and independent she'd become #lots of fights lots of assumptions that Bruce *turned* her into this #issues that are never really resolved when he's murdered #and she's sad but also so bitter that up until the end he'd never bothered to understand her #just kept living his own lie on who she was #which of course spills into all the OTHER bitterness in her life #ahem I may have given this just a *few minutes* thoughts #end me I can't believe I'm back to this #why does this au call me so much #5 minutes back in batfam and here I am with my girl robins and batboys

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myownsuperintendent · 5 years

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Fic: “Real Ghosts”

Samantha doesn’t care for Halloween, but she finds that it has its attractions. Set in my “Herrenvolk” AU verse in 2000. Definite fluff. Rated G and also here at Ao3.

.....

This will be Samantha’s fourth time having Halloween, and she still doesn’t really understand it. A lot of holidays have strange things about them, but Halloween is the strangest, she thinks. First of all, people you don’t even know give you candy. She’d understand if you got it from people you knew—then it would be like a present that you give someone you care about—but the way it works on Halloween doesn’t make a lot of sense. It would be easier to just get candy at the store. It would be easier for her, especially, because their house is out in the country and they don’t have a lot of neighbors, so they always drive over to Dana’s and go trick-or-treating there. Yes, it would be a lot easier to go to the store.

Then there’s the part with costumes. She still doesn’t get why they do that either. And she always picks costumes of characters she likes, from her favorite books, and then no one ever knows who she’s supposed to be, even though she always does a good job making the costumes. She gets tired of explaining.

This year, she’s dressing up as Miss Marple, because she’s been reading a lot of Agatha Christie books lately. She used to like Nancy Drew, but now she likes Agatha Christie much better, because the mysteries are better puzzles. The titles are more honest, too—a lot of Nancy Drew books have ghost or phantom in the title and then just turn out to be about a person pretending, which doesn’t seem right. She told Fox that and he laughed and said he saw where she was coming from.

She puts on an old dress—it was Mom’s, so she has to pin up the skirt to fit her—and puts white powder in her hair and carries knitting. It’s hard to carry the knitting and the bag for her candy at once, but she needs it so her costume will be authentic. Mom and Fox tell her that she looks fantastic, and Mom takes pictures, and then they drive over to Dana’s.

“Are you excited for trick-or-treating, Samantha?” Mom asks her in the car.

“I don’t know,” she says. “I think maybe I’m too old.” She’s been thinking about that for a while, since Kate, in her class, said that she wasn’t trick-or-treating this year because she was too old.

“Not if you don’t want to be,” Mom says.

She does want to be, sort of. But she doesn’t think she is, because she’s never understood Halloween, even when she was younger. Besides, everyone else likes it, so she thinks she’s supposed to like it too. “Okay,” she says.

Dana opens the door when they get there, and Emily’s next to her, bouncing from foot to foot. She’s always really excited on Halloween. Her costume is Alice in Wonderland, Samantha can tell. “Hi!” she says.

“Hi,” Samantha says. “I like your costume.”

“Thank you,” Emily says.

“Yours came out great, Samantha,” Dana says. Fox has his arm around her; they do that a lot, now. “Nice work on the hair.”

“Thank you,” Samantha says. She already told Dana who she was going to be, so she doesn’t have to ask her what her costume is.

But lots of other people do, when they’re walking down the halls in Dana’s building, knocking on doors and getting candy. “I’m Miss Marple,” she explains, and sometimes people give her strange looks. Maybe they don’t know who Miss Marple is.

“You and your sister look so cute!” one woman says, and that makes no sense at all, because Miss Marple is not supposed to be cute. And they’re not sisters.

“Emily and I are friends,” she tells the woman. “Well, I’m going to be her aunt. In a few months.” Emily nods enthusiastically, and the woman looks a little confused, which is probably because most people’s aunts are much older than them, and she’s only about six years older than Emily. But it’s true: she will be Emily’s aunt, now that Fox and Dana are going to get married. She’s excited about it, because then they’ll all live in the same house and she’ll get to see Dana and Emily all the time. Also, she thinks suddenly, maybe that means they won’t have anywhere to go trick-or-treating and they’ll get to just stop.

She doesn’t get to explain the whole thing to the woman, though, since they go on to the next apartment. When they’re rounding the corner of the hall, Dana’s phone rings. “Scully,” she says, answering it. “They saw what?... It’s urgent?... He’s here. Just a second.” She covers the mouthpiece. “Mulder,” she says, “a case just came in. It’s a…” She looks down at Emily. “Well, you talk to Skinner,” she says, handing him the phone.

“Mulder,” he says. “No, that does not sound good…. Where did it happen?... Yeah, I think we can be over there in twenty minutes.” He glances at Dana, who nods. “We’ll be there,” he says, and then he hands the phone back to Dana, who puts it back in her pocket. “We hate to do this,” he says, “but something just came up at work. We’ll try to be back as soon as we can.”

“Teena, do you mind staying at my apartment with the girls?” Dana asks Mom. “You and Samantha are welcome to spend the night, if it’s late.” Mom nods.

It’s a Tuesday. “My things for school are all at home,” Samantha says. “And my regular clothes.”

“We know, Sam,” Mulder says. “Like I said, we’ll try not to be back too late. But if we need to, we can go get your things in the morning.”

“Okay,” she says, nodding. He bends down and gives her a hug, and Dana hugs Emily, and then they’re walking down the hall. Samantha can hear them talking to each other, the way they talk when they’re on an important case. Very serious.

“Will they come back soon?” Emily asks. She’s looking down the hall after them too.

“Pretty soon, I hope,” Mom says. “Do you girls want to go to a few more apartments?” Samantha doesn’t, really, but Emily nods and so she follows her and Mom.

They go back to Dana’s apartment eventually, though, and put all their candy out on the table. Mom looks at it to see if it’s wrapped, and Samantha helps her. She can sort through it very quickly. “Do you want my Snickers?” she asks Emily. That’s another thing about Halloween. You get candy you don’t even like. Emily says she wants them, though, and she gives Samantha all her Smarties. So that’s something.

Mom lets them stay up for a while—later than she usually lets Samantha stay up, on a school night—but then Emily starts yawning and she makes them go to bed. Samantha doesn’t have any pajamas, so she just keeps her Miss Marple dress on, and she curls up in a sleeping bag on the floor of Emily’s room. Tomorrow it won’t be Halloween any more.

When she wakes up, she can hear voices—it sounds like Fox and Dana are back, and maybe like they’re watching TV. She goes into the living room to see.

Mom’s asleep in a chair, and Fox and Dana are on the couch; he’s got his arms around her, again. “I can’t believe you’ve never seen this one,” he’s saying. “It’s got to be the best ghost movie.”

“I’ve missed out, I guess,” she says. “What’s happened, so far?”

“Well, they all got invited to the house,” he begins, and then he turns his head and sees Samantha. “Hey, Sam,” he says.

“Hi,” she says. “Did you figure out the case?”

“We’re working on it,” he says.

“We did as much as we could, tonight,” Dana says. “We didn’t wake you up, did we?”

“No,” Samantha says. “I just woke up anyway.” They both nod at that; they know she does that a lot, that she doesn’t need to sleep very much. “What are you watching?”

“It’s called The Haunting,” Fox says. “It’s part of a Halloween movie marathon.”

“Can I watch with you?” she asks.

He looks at her for a minute, thinking. “It’s pretty scary,” he says, “but I think you can handle it. Let us know if you want to bail, though.”

“Okay,” she says. She comes and sits on the couch next to them, still in her Miss Marple dress, still with her white hair.

She’s missed the beginning of the movie, but she catches up quickly; it’s about a bunch of people who go to a house full of ghosts. Real ghosts, not like in Nancy Drew books. You don’t see the ghosts, but you know they’re there, because the doors keep rattling, and they make people do things they don’t want to do. And it is scary. So scary.

She loves it.

She doesn’t know what a Halloween movie marathon is, exactly, and she doesn’t know what it has to do with all the other parts of Halloween, with wearing costumes and with getting candy you don’t even like from people you don’t even know. But that doesn’t matter, because she knows one thing. She knows it’s the best part of Halloween. Maybe there isn’t a reason for it, but that doesn’t matter, not when she can’t take her eyes away from the screen, not when it makes her shiver.

“How are you doing, Samantha?” Dana asks her, after a scene where the two women are trying to sleep and the ghosts keep banging at the door. “Okay?”

“Good,” she says. “Really good.” And they keep watching until the end of the movie, and then another one starts, and it’s also about a house with ghosts in it, and she stays on the couch to watch that one too.

#my fic #the x files #samantha mulder #AU

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frangipanidownunder · 6 years

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Times Fox Mulder Cried: 6

I wrote these vignettes when I was a baby Tumblrino with no followers. I will be writing an eleventh one shortly, just to round off the series - I can’t leave it dangling! Sorry if you’ve already read these - feel free to scroll on by.

Tagging @today-in-fic which wasn’t around back then and the very sweet @i-gaze-at-scully who asked to be kept up to date. Read Season One Season Two Season Three Season Four Season Five

He dreamt about the dirt more than anything else. It itched his ears, plugged his nostrils, made his fingernails heavy and choked him as it fell from his mouth. And even outside of the dreams, he couldn’t get the smell from under his nose. It followed him, filling his senses with the wet, organic odour. It spoilt his coffee, tarnished his breakfast cereal and tainted even the sweetest or strongest flavours. He wondered if Scully was experiencing the same thing. Opening his eyes, he inhaled deeply, groaning as the dirt taste hit the back of his throat.

He fumbled for his phone. “Hey Scully. How’re you feeling today?” “Like I ate mud pie.”

He sat up on his couch, stretching his legs out in front of him, flexing his toes. The sound of her voice soothed him and he yawned. When he focused again, his legs were melting and dripping all over the floor of his living room, pooling like the black oil, slithering apart, then regrouping. He dropped the phone and pushed himself back, away from the slick threat that was reshaping in front of him. He felt weak, his arms heavy with fatigue. The oil climbed up the edge of the couch, reaching him and reforming into his legs. By the time he blinked and came back to some kind of reality, Scully’s voice had morphed from pacifying to panicked. “I’m here, Scully. I just…” “Hold on Mulder, I’m on my way.”

He let her tend to him. Feeling his forehead, rubbing her soft palm over his cheeks and chin, through his hair, feeling the pulse on his neck. “I presume I’m still alive, Dr Scully.” She chuffed out a laugh. “Well, you’re the best looking corpse, I’ve ever seen, Agent Mulder.” The image flashed through his mind, unbidden. Him lying on a gurney, his face marked by three ugly scars on each cheek, his skin grey and mottled, his lips slightly apart and white. She was howling, heaving out messy, ugly sobs. He knocked her hand away and gulped in a dirty breath. “Mulder!” “Sorry, I’m…sorry.” He picked up her hand, rubbing her wrist. “Did I hurt you?” She shook her head. “Mulder, are you all right?”

He watched her as she fussed about in the kitchen, rooting through his cupboards, trying to put together a meal. “When was the last time you went shopping?” “Clearly some time before I got eaten by a giant mushroom,” he folded his arms. “Can’t we order take-out?” “You need to eat proper food, Mulder. MSG and E numbers are only going to add to your…condition.” She peered at the use-by date on the only packet of pasta he had in the pantry. “If you don’t want me to cook, why don’t we go to that little restaurant downtown? It serves decent food. Fresh food.” He nodded as carefully as he could without giving away his enthusiasm. But a vision hit him - of her sitting at a table wearing a low-cut black dress with the finest spaghetti straps, sitting with…no, it couldn’t be. Cancer Man? Pain sliced through his head and he staggered forward, clutching his temples. His vision greyed to pinpricks and his last thought was of that black-lunged bastard and what he did to Scully.

When he came to, the dirt smell was overpowering. His head throbbed, his throat was dry and waves of nausea clenched at his gut. He was laid out on his bed, stripped to his boxers, a sheet pulled up to his neck. Scully was sleeping in a chair next to his bed. A crackling image of her sitting like this as he lay in a hospital bed filled his mind and his ears with the chaos of a million voices. He squeezed his eyes shut and he saw himself again, held down by invisible forces on an angled bed, shiny against the stark background of the room he was in, pain in every nerve ending; and again being whipped in a bizarrely religious scene by a redhead who wasn’t Scully. His heart raced and he tried to sit up without waking her. “Lay back down, Mulder. Sleep.” She was up and pushing him back in an instant. “I can’t. It’s driving me crazy.” “What? The hallucinations? Are they getting worse?,” she sat down on the bed and frowned at him. “I think you need to go back to the hospital? Your system is still being affected by the fungus. What do you see? Can you describe the visions?” “I don’t know. It depends on what’s happening around me. The scenes seem to be connected to reality, somehow.” Maybe. “To reality, Mulder? You mean you’ve seen these things before? When? Are they cases?” He shrugged, suddenly unsure. “It doesn’t matter. I’m fine. I just need to get up. Do something.” She frowned, doubt flickering across her eyes. “Okay.What do you want to do? Watch a movie. Read? Play cards?”

She dealt like a pro. Why didn’t he know this about her before? Dana Scully, card shark. She smiled that enigmatic way she did when she knew she’d managed keep him guessing. “I keep unfolding like a flower?” “Something like that,” he said, chuffing out a laugh, when all he wanted to do was kiss her. Her tongue was resting between her lips and she was frowning. The tension in her neck made her mouth rounder, more inviting. His groin tingled. They’d been slowly feeling their way through the dark and confusing maze of an intimate relationship. Most of the time he felt like he was wearing a blindfold, relying on instinct and guesswork to navigate each day. He hoped she felt the same. He needed to open his eyes, see the light. “Mulder, it’s your turn.” She smiled indulgently, holding her cards close to her chest. He saw her suddenly, on all fours, twisting her hands in an obscene show of flexibility. Then she wore a black hat, quirked at a cute angle. A cascade of Scully faces where she was smiling. And flirty. He coughed, tasting the dirt in the back of his throat. “Sorry, I think I need some water.” “I’ll get it,” she said before he could stand up. When she returned, he was sitting on the couch, listening to the rhythmic beat of the fish tank filter. She sat next to him. He turned to take the water, but instead she threw it over him and stormed off. He sat, drenched and spluttering as his living room morphed into the Hoover Building and he absorbed the melee of an office of agents on a case…a missing person…someone important…

The doctor decided not to admit him. Scully was pissed. She held her mouth in a tight line. “You can come to my apartment.” Defeat caused the tone of her voice to take on that breathy edge. “But we’re not playing cards.”

She pushed open the door and he flinched when he saw her slammed against the dresser, smashing the mirror. Her neck was bruised, she was wearing her pyjamas. She was fighting for her life… “Scuhh…oh god. Pfaster.” “What? Mulder, what do you see. Talk to me.” “You…here…him.” “Mulder, I’m here. It’s okay. There’s nobody else here but you and me. It’s safe.” Her voice was soothing, a lilting melody that wafted around his ears. “Pfaster is in jail, Mulder. He’s in jail.” She leant her head against his chest and he rubbed his hand through her hair. She was in one piece, perfect. He pulled her face up towards him. “You’re okay, Scully. You’re fine.” He ran his fingers over her skin, touched her neck, kissed her cheek tenderly. “Yes. I’m fine.” She kissed him back, a peck on his lips that snapped him back to reality. “Maybe we should go outside for a walk. Fresh air will do us both some good.”

The park bustled with people who had a life. Mulder felt some sense of peace returning as he strolled next to Scully. Dogs yapped and bounded. Joggers sweated and puffed. Kids zigzagged round trees, squealing. Mums pushed prams. He chanced a look at Scully and the image of her holding a newborn in her arms swam into his mind. He gasped so loudly she stopped and grabbed his arm. “Mulder?” “I’m fine.” He hung his head, trying to collect himself. She frowned, twisting her head to peer under his chin. “Are you…are you crying?” He shook his head, then nodded, feeling his brow crinkle and the tears track down his cheeks. “What is it?” “Nothing Scully. It’s nothing to worry about.” He swiped the wet away. “It’s all good. Really good.” “So, happy tears?” He blinked, smiling at her, his mind clearer than it had been in years. “Happy. Yes.” A smile crinkled at the corners of her mouth and she reached for his hand, squeezing it in her own as she pulled him on.

The dream woke him. Sweat smudged in his eyes, the hairs on his body stood on end, gooseflesh prickled over his skin. Scully was sound asleep beside him. William. He was coming. A fresh set of tears tracked down his cheeks. William. Miracle. Son. Saviour.

#txf fanfic #my fanfiction #todayinfic #times fox mulder cried #this one has a new meaning now that season 11 has aired #anyway #i'm fine

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melwriteswhatever · 6 years

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Life is Strange: Girls Like Girls (Kate Marsh/Reader)

Title: Girls Like Girls Pairing: Kate/Reader Characters: Reader, Kate Marsh, Dana Ward (briefly), Victoria (mentioned), Vortex Club (general) Author: Mel

Notes: I wrote this for my own gay needs because tbh Kate is my gf lol. No specific pronouns or sexualities are mentioned. This is also like, my first reader-insert piece. I hope I did decent. I like how it turned out. There’s alcohol consumption (teenage partying) and a slur in here, be warned. And the title comes from Hayley Kiyoko’s Girls Like Girls, because I was listening to that as I wrote this. Anyway, enjoy!

You met Kate about a year before. At first, you didn’t think much about her, but you did like her. You thought she was the cutest thing you ever saw, but you didn’t realize you had a crush on her until a few months later, when Dana had pointed it out. You had kept your sexuality a secret from others for only God knew how long, however. No one knew that you were not straight. Well, at least that’s what you thought.

“No I don’t!” You sputtered, turning red. Dana only gave you a look.

“You’re a horrible liar, [Y/N]. I think it’s sweet, and Kate is sweet too,” Dana went on.

“I don’t think she’ll like me back like that,” you say in a rather saddening tone. You knew Kate, but not as well as you hoped. You did talk to her quite frequently, and you knew she was tied deep into her religious faith. You weren’t sure how she would feel if....well, you know. You just knew that if your own family knew about you, you would probably be dead.

Dana gave her a sympathetic look. Dana was one of your friends, and one of the nicer people at Blackwell.

“Well, you’ll never know unless you try,” Dana said. You snort into your drink. You knew she was right, but even if you had the courage, you had no idea where to begin.

“Yeah, right.”

* * *

You did follow Dana’s advice, though. Kind of. Not really.

You started out small. You got to know Kate a little bit better. You hung out with her more. The two of you would walk to class together and hangout outside of school. You were still right about Kate: she was the sweetest, kindest girl you ever met. There was no way she would like you like you wanted her too. It pained you to think about, but you really did not want to open that can of worms.

Some of the students of Blackwell, however, thought different.

As far as you knew, only Dana knew. There was a good chance that Juliet may know as well, but you doubted it. Some of your fellow peers may know, but you had no idea. You knew that Victoria Chase had an idea, however. You wanted to scream just thinking about it. Victoria was a piece of work, much like her friend Nathan.

Victoria and her cronies were never nice to what could be dubbed as “the outer rim” of students. As in: she was cool with her Vortex friends, but everyone else deemed as “loser” should watch their back. That included Kate Marsh.

You tried to protect Kate as much as you could. If you couldn’t, you would instead try to soothe her. You found your bond becoming stronger this way. Your connection felt stronger, and your feelings were practically trying to burst out of your chest at this point. God, Kate was so cute. You wish you could hold her hand, take her out, and kiss her, but you just couldn’t. It was too conflicting for too many reasons, and you hated it. God, did you hate it.

Victoria seemed to know about your little crush on Kate, however. She and her two shadows would call you names and taunt you more than the usual if your paths crossed, and they would purposefully bully Kate even more. That made your blood boil, and you swore that you would go fist city if someone tried to physically harm Kate.

* * *

Turns out, you did have to go fist city. Not on Victoria, though, but some jocks out of all people.

You were at another Vortex party, steadily drinking your sorrows away. Everyone was having a blast, except for you. Dana noticed and tried to help, but to no avail. You told her not to worry about you, and instead have fun.

You had seen Kate earlier, looking like a brightly lit angel even in the dark and neon lighting. She wasn’t in what was dubbed as the “VIP” section, and you should have known that it would have gone to hell.

You didn’t see what happened, but you heard a loud shriek and SPLASH! that followed. Everyone had stopped to look what had happened, yourself included. You saw two of the jocks (you couldn’t see their faces from where you were) standing by the edge of the pool, laughing their asses off. You did see Kate resurface from the water, splashing and sputtering around.

Seeing red, you marched right over to the two sportsmen of Blackwell Academy. They were laughing, but that was going to change. As soon as you were in range, you empty the contents of your cup, soaking the closest one in alcohol.

“What the hell?” the jock yelled. You didn’t answer as you kicked him in the knee. He went down, grunting.

“You fucking dyke!” the second one shouted, reaching out for you. You stepped to the side, with him missing you completely. He lost his balance (you were shorter than he was), slipping and falling to the floor. It sounded like he busted his chin. You inwardly cringed, but felt no sympathy.

“Fuck you!” you shouted. It was as if time had stopped. You were sure everyone was staring at you. You didn’t care, though. You noticed that Kate was still in the water, visibly upset, but confused at the scene in front of her. You could feel your insides freeze in fear, but fuck it. (You were...tipsy to say the least.)

Ignoring everyone around you, you knelt down to the ledge, extending a hand out to Kate. Even if she was soaked, she was still very beautiful.

“Come on, Kate. Take my hand.”

Knowing she could trust you, Kate took your hand (you knew your face was flaming red. You could feel that tingling sensation when she touched you), and together the two of you were able to get her out of the pool. Water was dripping from her form, and she was shivering. She also lost one of her shoes. You couldn’t do anything about that at the moment, but you did offer her your jacket.

“Take it,” you said, handing to her. She accepted it.

“Thanks, [Y/N],” Kate said, and again you could feel that burning sensation. You loved hearing her say your name. The two of you stared at each other, before you decided to drag her out of that place. She would have to change, right?

“[Y/N], where are we going?” Kate questioned, as she noticed everyone was watching you two leave. You offered no answer as you finally made it outside, the door shutting behind you. “[Y/N]-”

Without thinking, you stopped, turning and pulling her in for a kiss. It felt so good as you did, her lips felt soft, just like you thought they would. Suddenly, a bell was going off your head, as you realized she wasn’t reciprocating. Shit! You pulled away fast, turning and started walking away. Fuck, you were stupid. You were so, so stupid.

Kate was calling out your name, but you were too buzzed for it to register. You found yourself in your dorm minutes later, closing and locking your door behind you. You were panting hard, as you slid down onto the floor, the tears forming in your eyes. Fuck, how could you be so stupid?

As you wallowed in your own pity, there was a rapid knock on your door. It scared the living hell out of you.

“[Y/N]?” You heard. You cursed as it was Kate. “[Y/N], can you open the door, please? I need to talk to you.”

You really didn’t want to open the door. You wanted to be selfish and never answer, never talk to Kate ever again. However, you couldn’t do that, especially to Kate. It wouldn’t be fair. She at least deserved some sort of explanation. Then you thought about what you could say. Do you lie? Do you lie, telling her you kissed her because you were drunk? Or do you tell the truth? Tell her the truth, saying that you kissed her because she was just so pretty and pure and--

“[Y/N]?” You heard Kate say softly. You realized you were stalling, even if it was unintentionally. Quickly you jumped to your feet, anxiously pulling at your doorknob before opening the door. Kate stood there, with a look you couldn’t exactly read. It wasn’t (pure?) disgust, worry....mystified? No, you were getting confused with yoursel--

Then you felt a soft pair of lips on yours. You must have staring at her for too long, or something, but you kissed back. Then you realized who exactly was kissing you, and pulled away. She almost followed you, but stopped.

“What the fuck?” You suddenly blurted. “I mean, I--I was asking myself that, not you! I, uh...I...” you were trailing off, but then you asked, “Why did you kiss me?”

Kate all of sudden looked shy. “Why did you kiss me?”

You couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle. You really weren’t expecting that. Well, maybe a little.

“Seriously, [Y/N], why did you kiss me?”

All of a sudden you felt as if tears were going to come out of your eyes. Why? Were you ashamed? Well, yes and no. Embarrassment? Maybe a little. Yeah, somewhat. Eventually, you took a deep breath.

“Because you’re really pretty,” you admit. “And I--Kate, I don’t know how to tell you this, because I--I...” you were having a little trouble speaking now, but Kate only gave you a soft look of understanding.

“You what? [Y/N], it’s okay. You can tell me,” Kate assured.

The funny thing is, you knew you could tell her, but it was just so hard to. How the fuck do you tell your (probably) straight crush that you like her? You nodded, acknowledging her, and took another deep breath. Okay, you can do this. Here it goes...

“I love you,” you blurted out. You covered your mouth as soon as you said that. You felt your eyes go wide and your face heat up. You let your hand fall freely as you began again. “I mean, I, well....fuck. Kate, I like you. I like you a lot,”

You didn’t notice it, but Kate’s face was flushing pink as she looked down to the floor in a bashful manner.

“I know,” she admitted, smiling widely. Realizing she wasn’t mad or disgusted, you began to smile widely too, especially when she admitted, “I like you a lot too. But why did you run away?”

“I thought,” you began, pausing as you tried to word it properly. “I just, I kind of did that on a whim and I...didn’t think you would like me back.” Your voice became more soft, more quiet near the end as you looked down to your shoes.

“Oh,” Kate said. “Well, I’ll admit it did surprise me at first. I never thought--well, I never thought about....us together,” she admitted, and you felt your heart sinking. “But I like it. Can we...do that again?”

You looked back up to face her, knowing there was full hope but caution filling you up.

“You...you want to do it again?”

It was Kate’s turn to look nervous, as if she wanted to cry too, but she nodded.

“Yes.”

You stared at her for a moment, an uneasy feeling filling the both of you up due to the heavy silence in the air.

“Do you really want to?” you ask, wanting to be sure. Kate nodded in a timid manner. Oh, what the hell, you thought. What did you have to lose? You pull in Kate once more, your hands cradling her face as you kiss her. You kiss her with care, and not wanting to push it, since you didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. You smile as she reciprocates, and you two really start to kiss.

All of a sudden, you pull away. Not only do you study her face, but you look over her body as well.

“What?” Kate asks, nervous.

“You’re still wet!” you exclaimed. “You need to change.”

“But--” Kate began, but you silence her by pressing your index finger to her lips.

“Don’t worry, we can get back to what we were doing,” you assured, smiling. Kate smiled too. You hoped this would work out, whatever it was.

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ghostbustermelanieking · 7 years

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the progression (and regression) of first names

hurt/comfort, mini casefile, msr ust

first in a series of fics accompanying my x files rewatch this summer. (technically this is cheating since i’m already on season 2, but whatever, i wanted to do this.) spoilers for beyond the sea, lazarus, young at heart, darkness falls, and tooms. some of these sequences are partially borrowed from chapters 4 and 5 of half-light, but i liked them so i kept them. (it is not necessary to read half-light to understand this fic.) also dedicated to my recent trip to dc; you haven’t lived til you’ve hobbled around museums and memorials on aching feet from walking too much.

warning for passing mentions of murders/death

Scully spends New Year’s Eve in a hospital room: “Because my life isn’t depressing enough,” she laments to Melissa on the phone, and Missy tries to laugh like it’s funny but it’s not. They are in mourning; their father is dead, their mother is all to pieces, and Charlie didn’t come to the funeral. Bill and Melissa are staying with their mother in Baltimore. They wanted Dana to come too, but Dana has never been one to show emotions around other people. “I need to work,” she’d told Mulder, and it was the truth. The sad thing is that Mulder getting shot has given her the perfect excuse to hide, here in North Carolina where she thought everything would matter less.

(It doesn’t. Boggs yanked her out of hiding by her ankle, wouldn’t let her rest. She doesn’t go to Boggs’ execution because she’s afraid to believe. She’s afraid of what he’ll tell her. She hides in Mulder’s hospital room because it’s easier, but he won’t let her hide, either. He calls her Dana and touches her shoulder and she shrinks into herself like a crumpled piece of paper. He knows her too well; she is the pathologist, but he would be just as good with a scalpel. He has a way of bringing hidden things to the surface.)

There’s a pathetic TV in Mulder’s room and they watch the ball drop in Times Square on it. Mulder’s on pain medications, which make him goofier; he counts along with the spectators in Times Square with a glazed-over look in his eyes. Scully watches in silence, hands knotting in her lap. She’s had plenty of good New Year’s Eve memories to stock up over the year - she spent the last one with Ethan, tipsy from champagne and giggling hysterically when he kissed her, teeth bumping together - but the only one she can think of now is the first year she was allowed to stay up til midnight, at nine. (She and Missy had snuck out on the back porch minutes away from midnight and sat on the step, watching the stars. She’d tipped her head up to the sky, mittened hands pressing into her knees when she felt the pressure of her father’s hand on her head and turned to look at him. “It’s a new year now, Starbuck,” he’d told her seriously. “It’s your chance to start over, to make your life whatever you want it to be.”) Scully blinks hard to stop the onslaught of tears and reaches for the tissues she’d crumpled in her pocket.

“Hey, Scully,” Mulder says, touching her wrist. “Scully. Are you okay? Are you sad again?”

He’s high as a kite, Scully thinks wryly. “I’m fine,” she says, scraping her fingertips under her eyes. Maybe she should take some time off with Mulder after this case, give herself some time to recover so she won’t be crying all over the place every case. “I just... memories. You know how it is.” And with his sister, he must know.

Mulder rests his head against her shoulder. “It’s 1994,” he slurs into her jacket. “Anything can happen now, Scully; make a wish.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve got the wrong holiday,” she tells him.

He points to the TV where a couple is kissing, confetti falling down on them like rain. “We should do that,” he says, raising his head to look at her. “In honor of the New Year.”

For a half-second, she considers it. He’s been more affectionate with her over time; something shifted with them, in Alaska. Something had made them stronger. He’s called her Dana three times now. He tried to comfort her. She remembers him kissing that ex-girlfriend, Phoebe. She’s wondered how he kisses before.

Then she reconsiders. Considers the consequences. She’s broken enough Bureau policy this year, she thinks. She is grieving, not in her right mind, and he’s on pain meds, he might not remember a thing tomorrow. She rolls her eyes and says, “Go find a nurse, Mulder.”

Mulder sighs petulantly, burying his head in her shoulder. “You’re no fun,” he says.

“Yeah, yeah. Tell it to someone who’ll care,” she teases, or tries to. She pats him on the head. “It’s late, Mulder. Get some sleep; I’ll be back in the morning, okay?” He grumbles something disagreeably, but slides back under the covers. She tucks the blankets around him before standing and heading for the door.

“Happy 1994, Scully,” Mulder slurs as an afterthought when she’s halfway out of the room.

“Happy 1994, Mulder,” she says over her shoulder. That’s all there is to say, it seems.

She goes back to work a week after they return from North Carolina, rattling around in the lonely office. It feels wrong to be there without Mulder. He calls her every few hours for news, bugging her about cases and she talks because there’s absolutely nothing to do. Mulder’s not a bad conversationalist, he can make anything into a twenty-minute debate.

Skinner calls her up to his office on her third day back. “I was sorry to hear about Agent Mulder’s injury,” he says, semi-pleasantly. Frankly enough, Scully can’t read the man. “Considering his recovery period, I’m assigning you to a task force led by Agent Tom Colton for the time being. There’s a serial killer in the area, been killing people at memorials.”

Great, Colton; just what she needs. She swears she used to like him before the Tooms case. “Yes, sir,” she says aloud.

The case is unusual, even she can see that. All the victims have been found at memorials but the pattern doesn’t make sense - it’s not in any kind of shape or by the years corresponding to the people or events honored by the memorials. And outside of that, something even more unusual: all the witnesses never saw the murderer, not even a glimpse. One victim had been killed in plain sight, just fallen down from stab wounds in the crowd around the Jefferson memorial. Colton is insisting that there’s a pattern somewhere; Scully isn’t so sure. Still, she does the work, goes over the crime scene reports again and again. Four murder so far: one at the construction site of the future Franklin D. Roosevelt Memorial, one at the Vietnam Memorial, one at the Jefferson Memorial, and one at the Theodore Roosevelt island. The order makes no sense, either chronologically or geographically, and she is frustrated within minutes.

She gets a call that afternoon. When she answers, she’s actually surprised that it’s Mulder. Of course it’s Mulder; who else would be calling her outside of her normal office in the middle of the day? “Thank god I found you,” he teases. “When you didn’t answer the office phone, I thought maybe you’d been beamed up.”

“Cute,” she says sarcastically. “No, actually; Skinner loaned me out to Colton. Another serial killer.”

“The Memorial Murders?” Mulder cracks a sunflower teeth between his teeth. She can recognize the damn sound over the phone now. “I saw it on the news.”

“Any insight? I’m stumped,” says Scully, not really meaning it (she doesn’t expect him to be theorizing about a serial killer when he’s at home with a wounded leg).

“You should bring the file by tonight.”

(Clearly, she read him wrong; she should’ve seen this coming.)

“No, Mulder, you’re resting,” she chides immediately.

“C’mon, Scully, I’m bored to death here. I’ve watched so much daytime television that my head’s about to explode,” he whines into the phone. “Besides, I have a feeling that this is an X-File.”

“It’s not an X-File,” she says automatically.

“So bring the file over so you can prove me wrong.”

She brings the damn file over. She brings the file and dinner over to his apartment and lets him flip through it from his spot propped up on the couch. “Definitely an X-File,” he says through a mouthful of noodles, self satisfied.

“How did you deduce that?” she says dryly, arms crossed over her chest.

“The fact that witnesses didn’t see the actual crime being committed. That man who was murdered in the public place? Everyone near him swears they didn’t do it and swears they didn’t see a thing.”

“Don’t tell me you suspect the Invisible Man,” Scully groans, and he grins at her in a way that makes her head hurt. “It’s official,” she says, standing. “I’ve seen everything.”

“X-File or not, your real problem is not knowing when the killer will strike again,” Mulder says, taps the file with one finger. “I think I can figure out a pattern.”

“Because you’re oh-so-smarter than all the agents on this case?” she drawls, scowling at him.

“Don’t insult me, Scully, I’m wounded,” he says dramatically, mock-grabbing for his leg. She rolls her eyes. “Just let me try it out, Scully. I have a lot of time on my hands, you know.”

She leaves her copy of the files at his house against her better judgment. He did used to be the Bureau’s star profiler; maybe he’ll come up with something sane-sounding.

She goes over to his house the next two nights and they argue the case over dinner again. (He doesn't manage to convince her it's an invisible man, of course.) On the fourth day (the purported date of the next murder, if they could figure out where it'll be), Scully shows up at his apartment late at night, feeling defeated. "Colton's pissed we couldn't figure it out," she informs him. "He says he's sending details to all the memorials in DC; he wants me to keep going over the files and see what I can find."

"Scully, I found the pattern," Mulder says frantically, trying to sit up on the couch. "I tried to call, you didn't answer. It's not by date of event that the memorial honors, it's by date of when the memorial was established, going backwards with the most recent first, that's why they started with the construction site. That's why the events are out of order."

"What?" She rushes over to the couch.

Mulder shoves a slip of paper at her where he's scribbled the murder sites and corresponding dates. "By this pattern, the Lincoln Memorial would be next," he says.

She grabs the paper in both hands and scans it quickly. The dates match, he's right. She checks her watch. "We have a half hour left," she mutters. "That's enough time, I can make it."

"Scully?"

She's already halfway across the apartment; she grabs his cell phone and throws it at him. "Call Colton, tell him to meet me there with backup," she says, opening the door.

"Scully, wait!"

The door slams shut behind her and she jogs down the hall and down the stairs, refusing to wait for the elevator. Whoever's next in the cycle doesn't have time for the elevator. Outside, she gets into her car and drives, probably breaking several traffic laws on the way. She parks haphazardly at the memorial and climbs out, pulling her gun as she goes.

The memorial ground is empty; she's not surprised, considering it's near midnight. She has no idea where Colton's agents are staked out and doesn't have time to go looking for him, she hopes they'll see her and come out to back her up. She draws closer to the memorial, gun held low in front of her. She reaches the bottom of the steps and pauses. "Federal agent," she calls out. "I'm armed. Is anyone on the premises?"

"Agent Scully!" someone yells at her from behind, just as something slams into her back. Scully tips foward, hitting her head on the stone steps of the memorial as she falls.

The first thing she hears is the crutches clattering on the marble. The ache reverberates through her head, Mulder’s huge palm brushing her forehead as he says her first name. “Dana? Dana, are you okay?”

She groans, the marble and the sky and Mulder spinning above her like a merry-go-round. “Don’t,” she gets out through clenched teeth.

“Don’t what? What is it?” His hand is still brushing her face, pushing back her hair.

Because she’s stubborn, she forces herself to her feet, stumbling a little and swallowing back nausea, using Mulder for balance because there’s no way she could get up otherwise. He shouldn’t be crouching like this, he’s straining his wound, they’re both ridiculous and hurt and ridiculously hurt. She tugs him up with her, handfuls of his t-shirt, and stumbles again with his added weight. “Don’t call me Dana.”

Mulder blinks in surprise at what she tells him. "Scully, sit down. Does your head hurt? Are you dizzy?"

"Yes, my fucking head hurts." They stumble back together, her ass hitting the concrete steps hard; she swallows back a wave of nausea. Mulder lands half on top of her and immediately slides off, his wounded leg sticking out at a strange angle. "What are you doing here? I asked you to call Colton."

"I did; they got here before I did, they called an ambulance. Colton's detail said they saw the man who hit you but he disappeared when they went after him. They're trying to find him now." Mulder scoops her discarded gun off of the ground and holds it protectively on his lap.

"You shouldn't have come here on your leg." Scully bends over, resting her head between her knees. It does nothing for the resounding pain.

"You shouldn't have come here without backup," he retorts. "So we're even." She wonders if he is mad about the Dana thing. She wonders why he ran after her, and then realizes she should find that obvious. It's the same reason she gave him her jacket after she'd been shot.

Colton arrests the man and asks her if it's the guy who hit her. Scully replies that she never actually saw him but she supposes it could be, she'd trust the word of the other two agents if she were him. Mulder asks if they really saw him disappear into thin air. "We didn't see him disappear," one of the agents snaps. "We saw him knock Agent Scully down, we got out of the car and he was gone, we ran after him and tracked it down. Why, Spooky, got a theory?"

The murderer glares at them as Colton leads him away. Mulder says, "There's no conclusive proof that he's not a man who can turn invisible," and Scully slugs him in the arm.

Mulder insists on riding in the ambulance with her; whether he's doing it out of concern or just to be annoying, Scully doesn't know. (It's probably the blood running down his leg, she realizes when they get there, and feels guilty.) He also volunteers to be the one who makes sure she stays awake when she's diagnosed with a concussion. "Fine, but I'm putting Agent Scully in charge of keeping you off your feet," the doctor says sternly, staring down the two of them like they’re bruised up school children instead of FBI agents. “You shouldn’t be irritating your wound.”

"Believe me, sir, I'd do it if I knew how," she says, and Mulder pouts at her from across the room.

Her head hurts and she is too tired for this but she goes back to Mulder's apartment with him and sits beside him on the couch and dictates her report to him while Back to the Future plays in the background. Mulder rambles on about time travel X-Files he has in the cabinet. She tries to stay awake but it is hard. Her head lolls on the back of the couch and she lets her eyes slide closed.

"Hey," Mulder says. He touches her jaw. "You can't fall asleep."

"'M not asleep," she mumbles, opening her eyes. Onscreen, Biff Tannen has just crashed his car into manure. "This movie is ridiculous," she says.

Mulder grins. He looks like some Biblical hero with the light from the lamp haloing his head. "Of course you would think that."

They return to work, begin taking cases again like normal. They fall back into routine, their partnership/friendship going back to its familiar rhythm. He doesn’t call her Dana.

It sounds different in his mouth and she can’t describe how. She knows what it is; it’s a sign of endearment, friendship, comfort. But she likes it that he calls her Scully. Dana and Scully, she thinks, are two separate people, and he only knows the Scully part of her. She doesn’t know which part she likes better, but she likes it when he calls her Scully. It’s their thing, like a friendship bracelet. It sounds dumb but it’s the only way she can rationalize it.

The handcuffs are hard and painful around her wrists and they rattle on the radiator every time she moves her hands. Willis is talking to someone on the phone. Someone from the FBI. Mulder, she thinks. She’d scream at him, give him clues to their location if she didn’t still have her pride and her Quantico training. And besides that, who knows what he and Lula will do if she did?

“Yeah, sure,” Willis says into the phone, and approaches her.

She realizes a minute too late that he’s going to let Mulder talk to her and scrambles to find something to say, some clue to give. She comes up with nothing but an uncertain, “Mulder?” Maybe it’s not him, she realizes, and feels embarrassed for assuming.

“Dana, are you okay?” Mulder asks, frantic.

Relief briefly washes over her. “Don’t-” she starts to warn him (he can’t negotiate, not with them, Jack might still be in there somewhere), but Jack yanks the phone away before she can finish. She can hear Mulder call her first name again, panicked, worry. Maybe she underestimated how much she means to him.

“Okay, that’s it. Goodbye,” Willis says, almost gleefully, before hanging up.

Her stomach hurts. “It’s not gonna work, Jack,” she says because she refuses to believe he’s gone. He must still be in there somewhere, the man she’d once loved.

“You don’t think so?”

“Bureau policy prohibits negotiating with kidnappers,” she says - because that’s what he’s done, kidnapped her. No, the Bureau won’t negotiate for her life. But if anyone is going to break protocol, it’s Mulder.

He comes for her. He finds them. She knows he didn’t do it alone, but he still comes. She’s focused on Jack, on Lula; she wanted to save Jack and she couldn't. “Scully, are you okay?” he asks as he crouches beside her, going to unlock the handcuffs. She can barely hear him over the rush in her ears.

She ignores him, calling for Jack again. The agent checking him shakes his head; he’s dead. Scully feels sick. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.

The handcuffs fall from around her chafed wrists and she breathes an involuntary sigh of relief. “Here,” Mulder says, grabbing her hand to help her up. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” He touches the dried blood at the corner of her mouth, tries to put his arms around her.

She steps back; she just wants to be alone, sleep it the fuck off. She can’t stop seeing Jack’s last breaths. She could’ve saved him. She had saved him, once before, and it had doomed him. “I’m going home,” she says firmly, but it comes out all wrong. She sounds scared.

“Okay, Scully, I’ll take you. C’mon.” He motions her towards the door and out to his car.

He drives her home in silence, the motion of the wheels thrumming in her ears. Her wrists throb. Mulder drives without talking, but he can still hear his voice saying Dana.

He pulls up in front of her apartment building. “Thanks for the ride,” Scully murmurs, opening the door.

“Of course,” Mulder says, chewing his lip. He doesn’t look at her. She starts to close the door.

“I was... worried,” he says. He sounds briefly, stunningly vulnerable. “That you would... that I wouldn’t see you again.” He swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing. “I’m sorry I called you Dana.”

She doesn’t know what to say so she closes the door. It lingers for a minute before pulling away. Scully goes upstairs and crawls into bed.

The next day, she feels bad. Like an asshole. She doesn’t know if the feeling is misplaced or not (she should be allowed to be detached and withdrawn after the ordeal of the day before), but the least she can do is thank him. He stayed up all night with her when she had a concussion; he was the one they called to ransom her; he’s saved her life multiple times. He deserves a thank you, at least. Every time he’s tried to reach out, she shoves him away. Builds the wall back up. Time to knock it down, she tells herself, just a little. A few bricks at a time. She buys him coffee on the way to work.

Mulder looks up in surprise when she enters the office. “Scully,” he says. “I thought you’d take a few days.”

He should know she uses work as a hiding place. “I’ve missed enough days,” she says instead, and hands him the coffee. “Here. Thanks for the birthday card.”

The side of his mouth quirks up. “You’re thanking me for a trap I set for someone else that was two months early?” he asks, taking the coffee. His fingers brush hers.

“You really don’t know my birthday, do you?” she says. “You were two weeks late. I was testing you.”

He laughs a little and turns the cup around to read what the barista scrawled on there. She had the skinny teenager write Also: thanks for saving my life on it. Mulder doesn’t mention it or say you’re welcome, but the next day, there’s coffee waiting for her that says, Any time.

Scully has gotten hurt entirely too much in the past two months, alone. Her concussion, getting hit over the head again on the Kindred case (which couldn’t have done anything good for her concussion), her ordeal with Willis, and now this. She is taking a damn vacation.

The ambulance meant for her has already left with Barnett; they’ve assured her another one will be along shortly. Good, she thinks; her chest hurts and she’s in a terrible mood. She’s not feeling particularly charitable towards John Barnett at the moment, either.

Mulder stumbles out of the concert hall, looking shaken up. “Scully?” he calls. “Scully!”

“I’m here,” she calls.

He turns and strides across the room towards her, throwing both arms around her and hugging her too tightly. Pain shoots through her chest. “Mulder,” she squeaks into his shoulder. “Too tight.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles, loosening his arms. He holds on for another second before letting go completely. She almost misses the weight of his arms. God, when’s the last time they actually hugged? Their first case, she suddenly remembers, when she stripped in his goddamn room. God, has it been that long? What kinds of friends are they? They almost die every couple months but they never hug?

“Fuck,” Mulder hisses through his teeth. “I’m sorry for... all this, Scully. I’m an idiot. And an asshole.”

“You did what you had to do,” she says. “I would’ve done the same thing.”

“Yeah,” he says. “You still could’ve ended up like Reggie, though.”

“But I didn’t.”

“No,” he adds wearily after a minute. “You didn’t.”

He sits beside her on the step. Their knees brush.

She thinks she hears him call her Dana when she’s under the influence of the mites. She doesn’t really think about it. At the moment, she can’t remember why it seemed like a big deal.

They’re in quarantine, she’s informed when she wakes up. At least until they heal. Mulder looks at her with soft eyes that follow her movements; he clearly blames himself for this, too. He blames himself for everything.

The only TV in the facility was in his room, something she felt was a travesty. “This is ridiculous,” she tells him on the fifth day, standing in the doorway to his room. “We are both hurt. I deserve a TV just as much as you do.”

He raises an eyebrow at her from his spot on the bed. “Want to switch beds?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Mulder,” she says with some disgust - all coming out raspy from the delightful little mites that attacked them. (God, her life has become a bad horror movie.) “Just... scoot over.”

He looks abruptly stunned. “What?”

She walks over to his bed and shoves at his shoulder. “Scoot over.”

He raises an eyebrow at her but complies, scooting over close to the wall. She sits beside him on the edge of the bed and swings her legs around, leaving a few inches of space between them. “What are we watching?” she asks, leaning back against one of the pillows.

“Just some rerun,” Mulder says, turning up the volume a few octaves. It’s I Love Lucy, and its familiar black-and-white shadows and delighted laugh track are comforting. Scully watches and doesn’t say anything else.

A few months ago - a few weeks ago, even - she would’ve chided herself for doing this. It’s against Bureau policy. But in the moment that policy seems ridiculous. They’re in quarantine, and Mulder has the only TV, and he’s her friend. They don’t have a couch, so she’ll sit beside him on the bed; it’s that simple.

They sit there for over an hour; the nurses come to check on them and leave them there. Mulder yawns suddenly; he’s fiddling absently with the little door on the back of the remote where the batteries go. “I’m sorry I got you into this mess,” he says.

“It’s not your fault. How were you supposed to know that the men were killed by... mites who would enclose us in cocoons?” she jokes. She starts to laugh but it turns into a cough; watching I Love Lucy seems dangerous on laugh risk alone. Her life is a ridiculous parade of B-movie material.

“I’m used to the risks that come with this job. You’re not. You have a family.”

“You have a family,” she says. He’s mentioned his parents in passing once or twice and somewhere, she hopes, his sister is waiting for him to find her.

“Let me rephrase, then: you have a family who cares about you.” Mulder coughs, letting his head droop back against the dashboard.

The bandages over her burns itch; she doesn’t know what to say. “You have people who care about you, too, Mulder,” she replies quietly. “The Gunmen. And me.”

Mulder ignores her, popping open the little door on the remote again. “You need to stay safe,” he says. He spins the battery under one finger. “You have more in your life than this.”

She doesn’t say anything because she still hasn’t found the right words. They watch the TV. The battery door click-clicks under Mulder’s finger. His breathing slows until she knows he is asleep. His head drops to her shoulder. He breathes like he is dying, even though she knows it’s just the aftereffect of the bugs; her breaths sound the same.

In this moment of strange intimacy, the guilt over pushing him away comes rushing back. He is her friend, and he keeps trying to reach out to her. She can damn well let him. Friends call each other by their first names; friends can sleep on each other and hug each other and watch movies on the couch while they recover from their injuries. She feels ridiculous; who cares what he calls her? Who cares if he crosses the line from Scully into Dana? (She is starting to feel very much like they are one and the same. Or maybe they have always been that way.)

She climbs off of the bed and lowers him onto a pillow. It’s late, and the nurses will be through to check on them soon. He groans a little when she moves him, but he doesn’t wake up. She tucks the thin blankets around him the way she did in North Carolina.

“You can call me Dana if you want to,” she whispers.

Tooms is back and she is going to fight beside him. Bureau policy has gone out the window now; it’s about keeping people safe from the monster that is Eugene Victor Tooms. She doesn’t believe him in much, but she believes him about this. Now she’ll stand with him on the front lines.

She brings him a sandwich and encourages him to go home. This is about loyalty, about showing him that she has his back. Time to meet in the middle. This is my fight too, Mulder; you of all people should know that.

“They’re out to put an end to the X-Files, Scully,” he says, and she believes him. “I don’t know why, but any excuse will do. Now, I don’t really care about my record, but you’d be in trouble just for sitting in this car and I’d hate to see you to carry an official reprimand in your file because of me."

She sighs. “Fox...” she tries, because this is her apology for pushing him away, this is her attempt to connect.

If she expected anything, it was a question about why she would use his first name when she asked him not to use hers, but he laughs instead.She looks at him in astonishment. “And I... I even made my parents call me Mulder. So... Mulder,” he says, looking away from her. Maybe he’s as bad as emotions at her.

It’s absurd, but she feels some kind of relief. She says, “Mulder, I wouldn’t put myself on the line for anybody but you.”

He looks at her with astonishment. Like he’s not used to hearing those kinds of things from people. And if what he told her in quarantine is true, then he doesn’t. She holds his gaze: I mean it.

“If there’s an iced tea in that bag...” he says at length, teasing. “... could be love.”

“Must be fate, Mulder,” she says dryly, passing him the bottle. “Root beer.”

He sighs dramatically.

“You’re delirious,” she tells him. “Go home and get some sleep.”

“Here. Take my sandwich, I only had one bite,” he says, passing it to her. “And you’ll call me if anything happens, immediately. I’ll be here.”

She has no doubt that he would. She knows she would come for him if the positions were reversed - they have done this for each other man y times in the past year. (Has it only been a year? She almost can’t believe it, it seems like such a long time.)

“Oh,” he adds as her fingers brush the door handle. “Oh, and 11:30, station 790, Pete Rose Late Night Sports Talk Radio Show.” He grins at her like an idiot, and she smiles back, some sort of half-smirk that she finds endearing before climbing out of the car.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she mutters wryly as she heads back towards her car. She feels like they’ve reached neutral ground, some kind of understanding. He is Mulder and she is Scully and that’s the only sane way to describe their relationship. Partners, friends, the kind who can almost read each other’s mind. They don’t need first names for that.

In the moment, she has never felt more like Scully.

#xf rewatch #xf fanfic #i wrote this

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loudarby · 7 years

Text

kremlin annihilation week Day Six: Worst Moment(s) passed off as cute/funny/romantic

Okay here we go!

“You look beautiful with the weight of all these worlds on your shoulders. Absolutely beautiful.”

Because nothing boosts a woman’s confidence at a time when she’s trying to save the world like being told she looks beautiful when she looks stressed and terrified I guess? I expected a kiss or something in this episode, but it broke my heart that rather than him trying to encourage her, remind her that she was fighting as hard as she could and perhaps tell her that it wasn’t her fault if she couldn’t save everyone in time, he tells her this. She’s struggling so much, and this is what she gets. This is so far from romantic.

And then there was that fight at the DEO, when Mxy turned up and Mon-El was jealous and tried to make Kara feel bad for daring to believe she could sort it out. This whole scene was awful and they tried to pass it off as a “funny couple fight” when it was anything but. And yet through all the yelling, all the Mon El chasing Kara and getting in her face whilst she tried to tell him she could handle it and he needed to drop it, they threw in this little “oh isn’t he funny and adorable!” tidbit, the “good to see you Dana.” The “sure, he may have just chased Kara again, got right in her face and said he was the only one allowed to be mad, but look at him, chatting to someone from the DEO, haha, he’s not really being nasty to Kara if he can do that.”

No. No no no. This was not cute, this was not funny. This was a man abusing and intimidating a woman in the place she worked because he was jealous and he decided he knew better, and it’s insulting that they genuinely thought this ridiculous line would somehow make it seem like this wasn’t so horrible. Because yes, as the karamels keep telling us, real couples do have fights. But there is such a huge difference between differences that get worked through and actual abuse and intimidation. He yelled at her, he chased her and he wouldn’t drop it despite her trying to get him to be quiet. In. Her. Workplace.

And then there was the short-lived #karamelisoverparty. When Kara finally announced she did deserve better (come on Kara, you still do!!). And Kara had had a very long day trying to figure out Mon-El and his parents and was finally going home to a place she could be alone and think and process the day’s events. And so she unlocks the door to her apartment and “I hope you don’t mind, I let myself in.”

“Oh how romantic, he’s waiting for her!” the karamels cry! Meanwhile the rest of us who love Kara are frustrated that her one safe space that is truly hers where she can just get away from everything has been invaded by someone who most recently told her than “by this point in movies the girl usually forgives the boy.” Sure, he may have spent some time there recently, but she clearly did not want to be around him by then, but he chose to invade her space and catch her unawares so he could try win her over yet again.

And then, whilst Mon-El was trying to plead his case, telling Kara about how wonderful she was and admitting he was a liar and how he just needed another chance, he threw out that one line, the one line that was an awful attempt at emotionally manipulating her, the “I love you.” Because in that moment, he was desperate, he was begging, because everything had gotten to a point where Kara was sick of all his behaviour. But instead of trying to discuss it with her, or ideally not being in her space at all, and rather staying out the way whilst figuring out if he genuinely could be better for her by actually changing his behaviour completely and not just on the surface for her to see, he played the love card, in some attempt to guilt her into forgiving his very long list of wrongdoings. Because an “I love you” shouldn’t be abused like that, and it was the most disgusting attempt at emotional manipulation to say it when he did. Thankfully at the time Kara did insist she deserved better and told him to leave, but later she did say she forgave him despite him not changing at all.

And last (for my list, there are many more I haven’t included), but certainly not least, was that “funny” alternate universe scene, when J’onn and Mon-El were explaining what happened and Mon-El confirmed he was Kara’s boyfriend, only to respond with a “shhhhh....” when questioned by J’onn about their break up. Again, intended as funny, really just disgusting disrespect to an unconscious woman, one who these people respect and have worked with before. Because nothing says love like getting to say what you want to be true about a girl when she’s unconscious and can’t confirm or deny it? Frankly Mon-El being the one to take her to the other universe was already grossly insulting (”Look,” say the writers, “he truly loves her!” “But,” we say, “what about the most important relationship on this show, the two women who would do anything for each other, the sisters we have adored since the first episode?”), but to disrespect everything whilst she was unconscious was the opposite of funny.

#karamelaw #kremlin annihilation week #karamel appreciation week #karamel #anti mon el #kara deserves better #kremlin appreciation week

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crossedbeams · 7 years

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ROSE REVIEWS… THE X-FILES - S1.E8: ICE

<< 1.6 The Ghost in the Machine ————————— 1.9 Space >>

What a week it has been! What a month in fact (because that’s how long ago I started this recap). Ice is one of my favourite early episodes which explains why this is longer than the combined beards of ZZ Top. Someone teach me self control? Please?

Go under the cut at your own peril, here there be worms.

The Plot

Some dudes playing with ice have gone radio silent and left a creepy message, Mulder and Scully get sent up to investigate with a ragtag team of socially inept scientists and then cut off by bad weather with some seriously suspect wormlike organisms, and more sexual tension than you can shake an oversized drillbit at.

My Stream of Semi-Consciousness

YAY! ICE!

I’m glad they start out with the dog just nommin on something spilled instead of one of the dead people. It makes it easier to root for him later which is good coz it’s a cute dog. Apparently it’s also Blue’s dad!

Then there’s what appears to be a disembodied limb in a box. Why I have no idea. but I am soon distracted by the entry of this dude who appears to have been scorched, stripped and then attacked in an incredibly symmetrical fashion by a pair of clawed ketchup bottles.

Like c'mon prop monkeys! Blood is NOT that colour and when did you last see someone with matching pectoral wounds (given it’s not sex related… probably). Also now I’ve been looking at it for too long and I feel like he has one nipple that is significantly bigger than the other and I’m having trouble moving past it.

And WHY is he shirtless. At what point in the whole fighting to the death in the ARCTIC was he like… wait mate… I need to take off this shirt off because #aesthetic.

Though to be fair I probably would.

Aaaaanyway

His radio makes more noises than the tardis.

We’re not who we are. Okay. We get it. But on a serious note do they ever actually discuss why he says this. Because I feel like grammatically it’s questionable and the space worms seem more into murdering each other than making dramatic speeches.

His assailant looks very heeeeere’s jack" and is wearing a shirt. I’m rooting for him until they get into the worst duel ever. Don’t put your guns so close. This whole bit tbh. The worms seem to have very complicated motivations and choreography, Maybe they’re abstract prehistoric space worms. Am I making sense. I don’t think I’m making sense.

It’s okay though I can compose myself during the CREDITS.

This video from the dead science dudes is the dorkiest thing I have ever seen. There are quilted body warmers, pasted on smiles and overenthusiastic high fives. You can see why these guys are extras and not the series stars. But at least they were all having fun before they brutally killed one another.

Mulder and Scully are watching this video in a room with both a blackboard and a window. Where are they? Is the basement being cleaned? Is this Scully’s office? If so why does she have so many damn tables!

Why do people insist on digging into old ice/trenches/under the sea. It always ends badly. EVERY DAMN TIME. Cthulu is down there people. Or godzilla or some shit. Just leave it alone and make nachos. Much better.

Not to be pedantic (okay who am I kidding) but pretty sure the background here doesn’t match what was behind him in the scene.

It’s only 1993 goddamn and Gillian Anderson is already learning how to ruin us all with her exquisite face. We were all screwed from the first time someone pointed a camera at her. All her tiny facial nuances remind me of the queens of old Hollywood and the things they could do with a quirk of the lip.

Then Mulder squats down and grins at her and though he’s basically implying they’re being sent as sacrificial lambs he doesn’t seem too sad about the concept of being trapped in an igloo full of corpses with his partner. He goes from amused to gleeful when he tells his teeny partner to bring her mittens and I’m thinking Scully seems excessively perturbed at this stage… is she having a moment of forboding? Or does she just really hate Alaska? I mean this is pre Palin so there’s no good reason to be quite so down on it…

And heeeeere’s Denny

Not content with really loving rocks (geologist) and being called Denny he also likes to do this in public places.

Denny is not getting any.

I do miss cassettes though.

Enter small winterwear troll AKA Dana Scully in a jacket so big she may be wider than she is tall. Mulder in contrast appears to be wearing jammies, jeans and a jacket, which are - incidentally - my three style essentials. Well those three and a resting bitch face.

Mulder makes awkward chat about San Diego while Scully pulls a face like she didn’t used to live there and then the other scientists arrive and they engage in a charade worth of the Chuckle Brothers with IDs, “It’s me! It’s You!” Mulder even checks Scully in case, one assumes, somebody else was hiding in her coat and has leaped out to replace her since he introduced her to Denny less than 30 seconds ago. Possibly he just uses it as an opportunity to sniff her. He’s only human and I would… I also feel like at this point the writers were overly concerned with linking back to “we’re not who we are” from earlier. Every single combination of the words “we”, “who” and “are” is well and truly thrust in. And we’re only at 7.12.

Also hello Felicity Huffman.

“Two federal agents, a geologist, a medical doctor and a toxicologist” sounds like the beginning of the worst walked into a bar joke ever. It would have some incredibly scientific punchline probably involving the word ampule. I’d try and write it but… we I can’t be bothered!

Everyone is so weird and cagey. The script must have been full of side-eye instructions. A word to the wise - if you’re ever asked to go on a business trip where people are behaving like this, don’t go. It’s the start of a horror film and you will die.

Especially if someone else there is called Bear.

Bear could be Steven Tyler’s brother. Or maybe they just have the same surgeon. His car is the only car in the universe dirtier than mine.

And after Scully standing weirdly close to Huffman (I forget her character name) for way too long (like seriously? SO strange), Mulder trying to reassert his Scully monopoly with some unnecessary touching (DRINK!) we see some stock footage which can only mean we’re up, up and away.

Icy Point and the power’s off. Of course. Do they ever investigate why the second they arrive anywhere the lights stop working? That’s a damn X-File.

For guys who blew their on brains out these dudes are artfully arranged. And pretty sure one of them is tensing. You’re dead man. Nobody cares about your abs anymore.

Scully says ‘flashing’. She means the camera. Epileptics on set can thank her but I can’t help being disappointed. Imagine if she meant her boobs…

Mulder comforts Felicity Huffman with his intimate knowledge of arctic research generator noises. Who knew Oxford university offered so many eclectic courses. Unfortunately they didn’t offer one in dog combat because Mulder goes down. Pretty sure Huffman falls over too but only out of shock or being knocked off balance by her coat.

Poor Bear is bleeding ketchup so we know he’s fucked. It’s fine though, Scully is a medical doctor and she finds some super gross disease beans in the doggo’s armpit which means she will also save the day. Standard.

Worm under skin, WORM UNDER SKIN! Ths grosses me out every time so drink every time we see unnecessary subdermal wriggling. *drinks*

Scully has completed five autopsies before anyone else has done more than get their coat off and get infected with a space worm, but ruins the effect by brandishing a used and uncovered needle with gusto whilst doing her jargon spiel. She may just be trying work out how to rescue her hair from it’s current anti-gravity state, her fringe is levitating at a sweet 120 degrees from her forehead which has got to be upsetting when you’re as put together as Scully is. Regardless,

Mulder seems unperturbed but may just be distracted by Bear wigging out about his own personal armpit beans.

There are some high quality knitwear/ winter neutrals going on in this episode. Maybe they were sponsored by fruits of the loom or some shit.

Mulder and Denny get all excited about satellite pics, apparently Mulder’s interpreting skills around some sort of bizarre geological scanning are rusty. TRY NON-EXISTENT MULDER. YOU DON’T KNOW SCHIST ABOUT GEOLOGY! Sorry. For the pun and the yelling. But seriously. If I made a list of all the things Mulder and Scully know that they shouldn’t…

DINOSPERM! Dinosperm. Does whatever a dinosperm does.

The second Mr Bodywarmer (I can never remember anyone’s names so tis is what I’m calling him) disses Scully’s autopsy skills you know that Mulder’s gonna disagree with him. Contagion be damned, suggesting Sculy has missed something is a no no - even in Season 1 - and especially when she’s pouting like this.

Oh no! Mulder says they have to stay (my favourite trope), Scully pulls the doctor card to seal the deal and now there is no way they’re not having arctic sex right? Everyone gets some… well except Denny who kills the mood by opening up way too easily about his bowel movements. Poor Denny. High school can’t have been easy for you.

But it’s fine because Bear flips his shit, or more specifically flips out about a shit, and everyone has other things to worry about. After some arctic democracy which really draws a solid line between Mulder/Scully and Huffman/MrBodywarmer (in case you’d missed all the other clues) and emphasises the disposability of poor Denny, they pull a gun and shit gets real.

Down goes Mulder!

Down goes Scully!

Turns out big man Bear is no match for Macho Moose and Flying Squirrel. The others prove once again to be utterly useless, standing about and watching. Honestly, given how much Mulds and Sculls know about other science they should absolutely not know, the the rest of the cast seem kinda superfluous other than as human coathangers for knitted beige monstrosities.

WORM UNDER FLESH, DRINK.

Impromptu surgery always makes me squeamish so lets not talk about this. Suffice to say its gory and ends poorly for Bear. RIP buddy, you were kinda a douche and your hat was stupid but nobody likes a neck worm.

Just keep drinking till it’s over.

The woman on the radio is semi-peppy given she’s just told them they’re stuck. Maybe she’s drinking whatever Sarah Palin is on.

Sculy’s OCD hand washing is adorable and I want to pet her. And the others are all still just standing there though now with a corpse centrepiece. React people! Do something!

Top quality CGI right here! Wormeo is looking fine and definitely three dimensional.

The worm theory is all very plausible, except that the last bit makes no sense. The worm doesn’t want to kill it’s host, just the hosts with its pals in… so what is the worm’s end game? Last worm standing? Any thoughts?

I am all about the aesthetic of this next scene The half light the corrugated metal with shadows and the height difference all in silhouette. It’s even added to by Mulder’s signature monotone rant. But the problem is, I’m so MSR thirsty that when this happens…

I just want them to throw down and get it on on the floor. KISS! NOW! Corpses be damned. See, This is what this show has done to me. I used to have standards.

Denny is not down with all the tension so he retreats to baseball while Huffman and Bodywarmer, who bicker like Mulder and Scully but lack ANY sort of chemistry (this is the show we might have gotten if the Gillian/David alchemy hadn’t happened) conspire like a pair of whiner babies. Bodywarmer is as paranoid as Muder, but he’s also an assclown.

Then Mulder and Scully take their coats off in a dramatic way and once again my mind is in the gutter. Which is actually appropriate as it’s naked spot check time and things are about to get a little homoerotic. Pretty sure Mulder lost some sort of bet when Scully was the one to suggest a naked group activity. Also pretty sure he was disappointed that it was just another spot check and that he wasn’t invited.

Leaving this here for science.

There are multiple documentations of the exceptionally sapphic encounter between Scully and Huffman, whoever decided to light them in red while the dudes got to strip off in a normally lit room was certainly only aided by the fact that Scully's jabby doctor hands from later series have not yet developed.

My main takeaway other than this being basically the only scene in which Huffman doesn't irritate me (and I think I quite liked her in DH though I can't remember a damn thing that happened on that show), is that Gillian Anderson has more chemistry in a fraction of her lower lip than most people have in their whole body. I mean seriously: authority, vulnerability, comfort and a little sex all in one move. This little thing?

She would probably have chemistry with a rock if she needed to. How is it so effective? How does one scene that lasts less than a minute have more relationship in it than all of Huffman and Bodywarmer's interactions combined? How is the entire world not worshipping at her tiny feet?

And the award for least comforting bedtime sendoff goes to Mulder, for both bringing up bugs biting (as if they're not already freaking over dinosperms getting all up in their spines) and then shooting down Scully's attempt to normalise things. "The spots on the dog went away". Really? She's lingering outside her room, and instead of being nice, or comforting, or taking her mind off things with some vigorous shagging you give her puppy eyes and a shortcut to nightmare town?

Go to bed and think about what you've done Mulder. Leave Scully alone with your comforting words, ominous lighting and a dead man's half naked lady posters.

Cue montage of nobody coping in different ways with Mark Snow blinky-blonkiness to up the tension.

As a an unapologetic Scully fangirl I do sometimes forget that at this stage, Duchovny was very much the star and focus. Scenes like this remind me, where we watch him get dressed (I am fine with lots of shirtless Mulder), wander about, do reacting, hang out a little with this cabinet that definitely looks like it has a face and could just have eaten Denny on it's own...

Anyway my point was that as much as Gillybean is growing as an actor and making herself felt in the episodes, studio intentions be damned, this is all DD, prowling about with drama and he does it well. Also you can see his nipples through his shirt. Clearly my priorities are straight. Well... mostly.

That said. Mulder is an idiot. When a cabinet is bleeding, what sensible person opens it while squatting in front of the spot where clearly a corpse is going to fall out. He didn't learn that brand of idiocy at the VCU.

Speaking of Scully asserting herself, Bodywarmer (I think his name is Hodge?) and Mulder get in to a sweaty macho shout off and teeny Sculls gets in the midde. Huffman just kinda floats about.

And we have a series first! Mulder and Scully hold each other at gunpoint! Loud noises! Angst! Betrayal! Delivery of the episodes motto which STILL makes no sense."You may not be who you are?"" Well no he is him, he just might have a worm in his brain But points for consistency. Shame it doesn't apply to the series overall plot arc!

Anyway, in the end it's fine because Mulder relents when it becomes exceptionally clear that for all that she's smol and mostly calm, Scully will shoot his ass, though she'll feel a bit bad about it. At this realisation Mulder goes full puppy and lets his owner put him in a pen. But he doesn't get shot. Yet. Little he knows...

So Mulder gets shut away. It's totes emosh. Like Celine Dion backing track emosh. Mark Snow step aside because this bish has spare time and windows moviemaker...

youtube

Moving on...

Pretty sure that fluffy!Scully striding in a plaid shirt with a gun is my spirit animal.

It's super convenient that both members of team non-MSR are sleeping in ridiculously uncomfortable positions, despite the recent excitement, so Scully can be forced to surrender her weapon. But hey - we only have 10 mins left and the plot must go on.

Bodywarmer decides the time has come for him to be alpha male but unfortunately, everyone still hates him, Scully doesn't want in on his shitty duet, especially when it's clear that he'd toss his partner in a second. Huffman finally grows enough balls to suggest Scully might have a point about not turning on each other and looking for treatment but his ego is out of control.

I really wish Bodywarmer had gotten eaten instead of Denny, Denny and Huffman could have been useless fuzzballs together and the only thing I ship Bodywarmer with is my booted foot making hard contact with his testicles after his misogynistic asshole moves in the lab. I'm starting to understand why Huffman has no personality. Scully starts to realise she got preeeety lucky that Mulder's just an alien obsessed puppy and not an utter fuckboy, before snapping back in to science mode for wormageddon.

I'm gonna take a moment here to shout out Lila (@startwreck for the following graphic). Theses two animated worms even have more tension than Bodywarmer and Huffman. So when we did the group rewatch we may have turned it into a fix that the worms were in love...

Me and the space worms have one thing in common. We do not like company.

WORM IN DOGGY EAR! DRINK!

Not sure how a stethoscope would prove the worms inside the dog were dead but I'm not a medical doctor. Either way, Mr Woofty is okay and lets be honest, aside from Mulder and Scully he's the only one I care about at this stage.

Tfw bae may have a brain worm but you wanna be sure and one of your companions is an asshole and the other one is actually the neck worm's host.

Poor Mulder isn't even allowed to accustom his poor little molerat eyes to the light before having to defend himself. Which got me thinking... the light switch is inside the room. We saw him turn it on earlier. So he's sitting in the dark of his own choice, just to make himself more tragic. Precious baby.

This face could have been avoided.

This scene though, this could not, There is now a section in the FBI handbook called, "Protocol for the investigation of possible parasitic space worms", this inspection is the example of how not to do it. Ably assisted by D'Angelo and my amazing video skills once again I give you - "this would be sexual harassment if they weren't both so into it - so don't try this in the workplace kids"

youtube

Scully comes out with Mulder in tow like the kid who came home from school with a friend who wasn't invited. "Mom I know you said no but look at him". After a quick round of, my partner is less infected than your partner, they get ambushed, Scully makes the squeakiest squeak of a no that is still audible to the human ear and finds herself in the sex cupboard.

Commence a struggle scene worthy of You've Been Framed, drink for Huffman's neck worms and also for this face.

In her struggle to escape a worming, Huffman pauses long enough to through some vials off a freezer shelf, that she has to open. Before she goes for the gun. Logical. And then they all have sex on the floor. I mean seriously.

But it's all good coz she gets to gnaw on Mulder's pec while the worms do battle royale in her pituitary gland and everyone makes it. Well except Bear and Denny. Huzzah! Scully gives Huffman (whose name I have just discovered is Silver or Da Silva which I'm sure I knew when I started this but honestly that was weeks ago so...) a celebratory belly rub.

I'd take it.

They finally escape, and Mulder of course wants another round trip to hell but hell has been torched. Scully does a good job of looking sympathetic in front of Bodywarmer, but as soon as they're alone she tells Mulder how she really feels. To paraphrase, no, she doesn't want to play with ice worms of death any more and yes she would rather be in Aruba. But she does wait for him. Maybe so they can finish what they started in the sex cupboard in the SUV.

I hope,

And so it ends..

Quick Score (Full Deets in the top pic)

Story: Original, bold and pacy - 9/10

Mulder: Broody, ballsy, sexy - 8/10

Scully: Smart, sceptic foil to the crazy - 8/10

UST: The first suspense episode, creepy original goodness 5/5

Other Cast: Solid ensemble of misfits delivers - 8/10

Bonus Points: Hot damn sexy moments, extra gazing, partner doubting, memorable, my fave 5/5

TOTAL - 42/50 - Grade A and new topspot sitter!

Join us next time for more ridiculously overthought brain farts

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#Rose Reviews TXF #RRTXF:S1 #RRTXFA #txf #txf s1 #txf: 1x08 #ice #Mulder #Scully #faves #RoseReviewTXF

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