#did I make this gifset anyway so that others can suffer with me? yes. yes I did

[mushroomwriter]

(pt 1) "Atleast we can suffer together!" lol true! Gosh, that line (and tbh that whole scene with Sergio and Martín murders me of FEELS)... it's just so angsty cause it's not even the fact Andrés died, but he was also sick and Sergio knew that and he still never truly considered the possibility of his brother dying :(

BTW, what headcanon for the hermanos backstory do you subscribe to? I'm not sure when you first started the show, but I watched the show back when s3 was just released and in those days everyone subbed to the hc that they were half brothers, and there was this interview where Alvaro mentioned even more headcanons abt the bros (they shared a father, who abandoned Andrés for Sergio & his mom, then after he died Andrés appears on the scene and tells Sergio he is his brother, took care of him for medical treatment etc)... of course, 2 years later s5 seemingly retconned all that and just made them normal full(?) brothers growing up in the same household with both parents which I didn't appreciate very much lol. Anyway, just asking you that because some of my thoughts about the hermanos are influenced by my thoughts about their childhood - especially if Andrés raised Sergio as a kid, it makes everything so much more WORSE and heartbreaking cause of course he'd have grown up thinking his older brother is invincible almost, right? Interested to know what you think!!

(pt 2) Yeah all but one of my exams are done with... meh I've been pretty miserable but thank you for all your kind wishes! You're so right, if Andrés just mentioning Sergio makes us feel things, I can't even imagine what a whole scene with them together again would do!! I miss Sergio too 🥲 Once again, feel free to take your time and wait for the inspo, I actually came across an angsty quote that might fit the Scene that shall not be Named and since you love pain, I will tell you. "I wanted to fall down right there but I knew you wouldn't catch me because you're dead." - Richard Siken. Don't think about how as Andrés fell, Sergio was also falling in Helsinki's arms. (Also please don't feel like I'm forcing you to make a gifset with the quote or anything, I'm sorry if it comes across that way I just wanted to share for the #hermanos angst) I have no words for your next para but just. yes. I agree with everything you said. I will never get over the fact he literally tried to run back into the (idk how many metres long) tunnel himself despite knowing the police were on the other side and it would almost definitely lead to capture but Sergio was willing to risk all that just to get his brother to safety :( (pt 3) "When they're together, they're a big brother and a little brother" I knowww 🥺🥺 it makes me so SOFT. I'm with Andrés, how can you possibly eat breakfast when the world's most precious hermanito is not there yet? That scene when he wakes up Sergio is so sweet, Sergio looks so adorable and just the fond amusement Andrés has when he picks up the book "did you stay up late studying again" and how gentle he is when waking him up, Sergio also does not startle in the slightest, in that small moment you can see how familiar they are, how much they both love and trust each other, your honour I LOVE THEM!! Ah the Toledo house always makes me think how they spent those 5 months pretending to be strangers, I mean you can't tell me that Sergio was also not taking every excuse he can to spend more time with his brother (it's DEFINITELY to discuss important plans with the heist Captain!) but I like to imagine Sergio also took care of Andrés in secret, helping him with the meds and stuff... despite everything, Andrés did have a clock running out and they both knew it :( On another sidenote, I've been wanting to write a oneshot of the bros in Toledo since like 2020 but I never got around to it LOL so thank you once again for letting me ramble abt the heist brothers to you Oh god yes, those lyrics truly come straight for the heart and make Sergio's grief infinitely worse! Awww I'm glad you enjoy my thoughts (and I hope you haven't regretted your invitation yet) Haha, you should probably put this one under a cut too, how do these things always get so long??? Truly the hermanos live rent free in my head... but you're right it's great the Range of thoughts they give us from sheer tragedy to happy little childhood memories asdfjsk. YES IT'S THE CUTEST EVER and Alvaro plays it so well :') Comfort scene of all time to me <3 No, thank you for your patience and just being so lovely!! As always, it gives me so much serotonin to talk with you abt the heist bros ❤ Have a great day/week whenever you see this!! (also I hope you got all 3 parts, my wifi is being so weird rn 😭 I can't imagine how confusing it would be to get only 1 half or someth, anyway. pls ask me to resend if tumblr did in fact disappear an ask)

So true (that scene really leaves me on the floor suffering!!)... he knew and yet... at the very least he was convinced they were going to have time after the heist (the scene where he's giving instructions to the other band members about where they'll live etc. always gets me because he was supposed to go somewhere with Andrés...)

About the hermanos' childhood, I feel like I'm an outlier there 😅 because I learned of that headcanon later, I don't remember exactly when, for sure after watching season 3, and season 3 gave me the impression they were full brothers, because I think we get scenes where Andrés refers to their mother and to their father in a way that made me go, okay, so they share both parents. You know, the scene where he tells Sergio he's got mom's disease and the scene where he asks him where did dad go wrong when he robbed the bank... So when after that I saw that interview I didn't really embrace (? I don't know how to say that lol) the half-brothers headcanon because the show had already given me another impression. On the other hand, I immediately accepted the idea of Andrés bringing Sergio to Russia where he got the cures he needed (also because lol that's a point they never clarified in the show, right? How he ended up healing). That said, I really like the potential and implications of the half-brothers headcanon too... like, for example, as you said, Andrés basically raising Sergio. I think you can kinda work that into the full-brothers scenario as well, though maybe not quite at the same level, because if their parents already had trouble with medical expenses for Sergio when they both were there, once their mother was alone I imagine she really had to bury herself into work, which left Andrés in a position to really have to take care of Sergio... also as I mentioned I believe he was the one who found that hospital in Russia where Sergio could be cured, and found a (probably not very legal) way to take him there and so on... and at this point I like to play with both options and confront them and see like, okay, in half-brothers scenario Andrés probably resented their mother for abandoning him while in full-brothers scenario he ended up resenting her because she couldn't take proper care of them and (probably especially) because she failed to come up with a way to save Sergio's life, Andrés had to take matters into his own hands. And I think it's super interesting that he doesn't end up resenting Sergio (which I think he could have easily done in both scenarios! Like, in half-brothers scenario because he was abandoned for him, and in full-brothers scenario I have to imagine his unhealthy little brother received a lot more attentions!) One thing I think we get more intensely in the half-brothers scenario is that taking care of Sergio is really a Choice, like he really didn't have to and still!

Oh, and regardless of scenarios, I really love the idea of Andrés being the one who ultimately saved Sergio's life, it's possible that at some point doctors in their hometown were a bit resigned about him not making it but Andrés was like NO. And he did save him! I bet he's ferociously proud of that, and maybe it's another think that makes him feel especially protective of his hermanito (and makes Sergio feel like Andrés can do ANYTHING).

I see, at least you're almost done... ugh, I'm so sorry, I get it... I hope once you get rid of that last one too you'll feel a bit better... Gosh, I would probably never ever stop screaming if we get a new hermanos scene! And HOLY HELL, that quote fits the whole thing so well, I feel sick! Literally literally Sergio falling but he's not falling in his brother's arms, his brother isn't there anymore... no, absolutely, don't worry, it goes without saying that I appreciate the #hermanos angst, and suggestions about quotes that could fit them are always welcomed (I mean, as of right now I wouldn't know how to make a gifset with it but maybe by turning it over and over in my head I'll get an idea...)!! Also, I actually got inspiration for a gifset about them, finally!!! from another Richard Siken's quote, no less (he was really writing about them lmao), like I'm still not completely sure of which scenes to use, but I do have an idea, I hope it'll work :D

Oh god that's true. Oh man he really tried to run into that tunnel, no matter how crazy that was... I cry!!

It's trueee, that scene where Andrés wakes Sergio up OVERFLOWS with familiarity, it's so clear it's not the first time he had to wake his little brother up after he stayed up late to study and had to pick up some book Sergio left lying around... he's so fondly amused!! Please and now I'm smiling so much at the idea of Sergio coming up with Very Important Topics He Needs to Discuss with The Heist Captain... and I wonder how many times they were the last ones left in a room (a mere coincidence, of course!)... and yeah, I bet Sergio also played the Finding Many Small Ways To Take Care Of You game, this is making me emotional! Hehe I'm happy I gave you the chance to talk about these things, if you ever get around to write that please let me know (if you want to of course)

I definitely don't regret my invitation, when I saw your new messages I was like yessss! Oh right, at this point the ability to put things under a cut is my friend sjsjsjsk but I feel you, I can't get them out of my head!!

Don't mention it!! Talking with you about the hermanos is such a serotonine boost, and honestly I very much needed that, the last few weeks have been pretty tiring! Thank you, I hope you do too, despite that accursed exam! Please take care! (Also as you can see all three parts made it safely to my inbox, thankfully!)

#p #my askbox

[freddieslater]

A parallel that I did not want. Stop that right now.

#arrowverse #oliver queen #sara lance #lot #arrow #lotedit #arrowedit #canarrow #sara x oliver #legends of tomorrow #legendsedit #death tw #myedit* #DID I ASK FOR THIS PARALLEL? NO. NO I DID NOT. #did I make this gifset anyway so that others can suffer with me? yes. yes I did #it's all I could think about during sara's scene #this was not okay!!

[captainpikeachu]

I saw this gifset comparing Walker to Steve in a way that obviously is trying to show all the good things that Steve is that Walker is not, yet it is very misleading, ignores context, and even misrepresents scenes and characters, and I just really needed to talk about it, because while yes Walker and Steve have a lot that can be compared with each other, it irks me when people misrepresent the characters to do it.

1. Jumping on a grenade

This comparison I assume is to show that while Steve genuinely jumped on a grenade with his body thinking he would die, Walker is only doing it with a reinforced helmet and treats it as an exercise. I guess that makes Steve more heroic than Walker who is doing fake heroics? But this ignores the very fact that Walker is a three time Medal of Honor recipient, which means very clearly that Walker has genuinely put his life on the line in defense of others. He’s not just doing fake heroics, and using a reinforced helmet is not “fake heroics”, especially when in real life even a reinforced helmet would not ensure the person using it wouldn’t die - a real life Medal of Honor recipient actually died trying to cover a grenade blast with a reinforced helmet and his body

2. Fame, attention, and publicity

This comparison seems to paint the image that Walker is enjoying the fame and publicity and signing all the autographs while Steve is a lonely figure just painting on his own and away from the publicity. But this blatantly ignores the fact that we see Steve signing autographs and holding babies while taking pictures in the First Avenger film. Steve was uncomfortable with the fame, yes, but he eventually accepted that was part of the job. Walker is the same way. Literally seconds before we see him take the field for the interview, he expresses discomfort with all the publicity and attention, he just wants to do his job, like Steve did. We also see him in Episode 4 very clearly uncomfortable with the attention he gets after signing the autograph of a stranger out in public that as soon as the people turn to leave, his face changes to one of exhaustion and frustration, like he’s suffering from a migraine. Steve and Walker actually share very similar views on fame, they didn’t come into this for publicity and glory, they did it because they want to do their job and help people.

3. “I don’t like bullies”

This comparison I assume is to show that while Walker is hostile and a bully with his line telling Sam and Bucky to stay out of his way, Steve doesn’t like bullies and is kind-hearted. Yet this ignores the fact that in Episode 2, it’s actually Sam and Bucky who were hostile while Walker spends almost the entire episode trying to be cooperative and helpful and speak to them with respect even when they pointedly and blatantly disrespect him. If anything, Steve saying he doesn’t like bullies and doesn’t care where they’re from is more like a condemnation on Sam and Bucky than on Walker, because Sam and Bucky were the “bullies” in this situation and Walker was defending himself. Walker says this one line after spending the whole day being insulted and attacked, and he’s the “bully”? That’s a funny way of victim blaming.

4. Government vs. Freedom

This is the only comparison in this gifset that actually is a valid comparison, because Walker is very much an extension of the government he serves and is loyal to that institution, while Steve is a rebel and is loyal to an ideal rather an a government. But even that is something that Steve took a while to really take a stand on, remember the Steve that showed up in the Avengers movie was about following orders, and it took certain circumstances to make him realize that he has to change how he operates in this new environment. 

5. Asset vs. Friend

Even ignoring the fact that Walker is actually putting on a public showing to show how important Bucky is to the mission so that the cops can’t deny letting him go, this comparison is very misleading because Walker and Bucky aren’t friends because they literally just met while Steve has been friends with Bucky since childhood, so obviously their views on Bucky would differ. Not to mention Bucky literally just spent most of that episode insulting Walker and questioning his abilities, Bucky is hardly making a good first impression. 

-----------------------

Anyways, I’m not saying we can’t compare Steve and Walker, they share a lot of differences and similarities that we should compare. But at least do so honestly instead of being misleading and ignoring the canon and context.

#john walker #steve rogers #captain america #the falcon and the winter soldier #mcu #if we are going to do comparisons #lets do it fairly and with the right set of context and circumstances

[teamsarawatshusband]

Word Of Honor - 1st watch insta thoughts - Episode 1

K, before I get started, here's what I know about "Word of Honor" prior to watching it, based on random unexplained gifsets on my dash: Not much tbh. I know there's this one guy that is a bit more tanned and has a beard. And there's some smirky guy. No idea what else he does, but he seems important. There's also swords cutting fabric, i'm thinking sleeves, because cut-sleeve? Way to be subtle. Oh, and there's two girl assassins. I have no idea who they kill or what their motives are. But they look fierce. That's literally all. Oh, and it's on my dash so much that I just HAVE TO assume it's BL. Because... my dash has tendencies.

Okay, here we go.

Episode 1

I'm skipping the intro, because I don't wanna be spoilered.

Oh, somebody explains the background story. That's nice. I have no idea, because the subtitles are going by so fast, but something about 5 lakes and an armory which is like a treasure. K, Glazed armor is important for... whatever reason.

Wow, they have nice trees.

Ninja people on roofs. Magic lanterns. Oh no, they broke the paper windows :( Lots of fighting. Why on earth are they going back and forth between fast movements and slow-mo? That looks so weird. Ah, yes, fighting on rooftops. I've seen better. Just saying. Probably gonna make so many enemies saying that. Oh, already the first fabric cutting. Was it a sleeve?

K, so the one guy is the leader of the window of heaven, whatever that is. And people are shocked to see him. Is he a good guy or a bad guy?

He looks sad. Does he even wanna be there? Oh, he's helping the bad guys? Is he our tragic hero? Now I didn't catch his name.

Oh, girl, there is no way you sat down alone in that room and your robe fell all pretty around you like that.

She brought back somebody's body to tragic hero roof guy. And now he wants her to kill herself. This makes no sense, wth. And she actually goes and drinks the poison. Hm, and now they're talking about the dead guy, so he must have been important too. He's burried at the Four Seasons.... Hotel? Probably not hotel, I didn't catch that right, I guess.

She has some wooded thing in her hand.

Oh, flashback to a pretty guy carving it. Is he the dead guy?

And the other guy in the flashback is tragic hero guy, just younger. Are they the lovers??? :O Wait, was the dead guy in love with poison girl?

Tragic hero guy is visiting some older guy at some place. Ah it's four seasons MANOR. Ok. And tragic hero guy is some sort of lord. WTH is this window of heaven thing? Is it like a magical place? Is tragic hero lord poisoned or something? Oh, and the old guy is kinda pissed at him for some reason, they don't say why. He wants his nails done or something. That's... probably not right.

Eww, no, he wants nails stuck into him. And they’re not nails, they’re actually screws, but okay. Anyway, weird. I really don't get it. Were they friends before? But then why does the old guy not wanna serve tragic hero lord guy anymore? And why is tragic hero lord guy going around dooming everybody to die?

K, so the nails make you lose your senses and mind and then kill you after 3 years. Got it. I like how they give little explanations in between the story.

Everybody's dead except for tragic hero lord guy. Is he staying alive to suffer on purpose or something?

Some palace, looks a bit like Koi Tower to me. Some guys talking about somebody spitting blood. Tragic hero lord guy maybe? (who else is left alive anyway?)

:O He's got the nails himself? WHY??? Ok, he's definitely a masochist. Who on earth puts nails in sloooooowly in order to not lose all their senses at once?!

Wait who's the mirror guy? Was that pretty flashback guy? Seems like it. (Sorry, I'm faceblind - not even joking, I really am and utterly bad at recognizing people) Oh no, and now tragic hero lord guy is crying. We're only in episode 1... why are there tears already?

And why are they all talking about 7 nails, and he only has 6 nails showing. Where on earth did he put the 7th nail? Do I even wanna know?

It's constantly snowing in the outdoor scenes, that must have been annoying. At least all the extras get to wear hats or helmets.

Okay, tragic hero guy goes to the palace. Talks to the... guy there. Whoever he is. Ooh. Tragic hero lord guy is getting naked. In front of... ah just to show off the nails. And palace guy is shocked. Oh, tragic hero lord guy gave himself ONLY SIX nails. K, no search party needed, whew. And now palace guy is super pissed. Because he... doesn't want him to die? So... he threatens to kill him? What?

Does tragic hero lord guy want to be killed right away or want to be given that 7th nail? I don't understand. Also, side note, what's up with those other scars that he has?

Now that other random side guy gets promoted and gets to take tragic hero lord guy's job. Did tragic hero lord guy get the 7th nail or not? What? None of this makes any sense.

Oh, it stopped snowing.

And he went... somewhere.

And is doing arts and crafts.

Oh, he's putting on a mask. Wait, is he the tanned beard guy? :O Oh. But why? He’s going into hiding?

Whoa, those statue mountains look AWESOME. 10/10 for scenery!

Wait, who are all those people fighting now? Some red guys with masks. And they're falling off the edge like lemmings. And some giggly guy on wires.

He's a ghost? What? And he stole something.

If he's a ghost, why is he bleeding?

WHOAH, what a cool film set with the stone statues holding up the stone ceiling. Is this a cave? or just a valley? Is this some magical place? Anyway 10/10 again!

Some guy playing with nuts. Hehe.

And lots of people with lots of make-up. Ah, more ghosts, okay. Why is nut guy in red not showing his face to the camera?

Oh, they're talking about glazed armor again. Like in the intro story. Did they steal it? Who are the ten devils? Are they all ghosts? I'm so confused.

Okay, new location.

Wait, did they film this at The Untamed's Caiyi Town? :o Sure looks just like it.

(not my gif, I googled and found this on @elvencantation​’s tumblr.)

Ok, tanned tragic hero lord guy is an alcoholic. Seems faintly familiar.

Oh, and there's smirky guy that I know from the gifs on my dash. With a very prejudiced and talkative purple girl.

Everybody who's wearing white also carries a fan. Both smirky guy and the kid that just walked in. Who is he?

Ooooh, purple girl can fly jump. Is she a cultivator? ARE there cultivators in this series? So far, nobody has flown on any swords.

And how did smirky fan guy know that tanned tragic hero lord guy is not a beggar? Does he know him? Does he recognize him? I bet he gets a kick out of being so mysterious.

Oh no, purple girl broke the rice sack. What a waste. :( And now she kicked tanned tragic hero lord guy right into the salad bar.

At least the kid is trying to stop her. Yeah, somebody has to. Ooooh, she's got a whip. Niiiiiiice! But now she BROKE the salad bar, that is just WRONG!

Ok, so... if alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy made that mask in order to go into hiding, he maaaaybe shouldn't be fighting so well in front of EVERYBODY to see. Just saying. :O Somebody stopped the whip before it hit alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy.

Oh, end of episode. Ok. So what have I learned? I still don't know who is who. Or why they do the things they do. I don't know how they're connected either. Hmm. But I wanna know who stopped the whip. Probably smirky guy, I guess. But, in any case, the last shot makes me wanna continue watching. Cheap trick, but it works. Yes, definitely gonna keep watching!

#word of honor #1st watch insta thoughts #word of honor ep 01

[ariesbilly]

Tell me about the symptoms of ptsd that fp shows

wish i had the gifset i was looking at earlier that brought all this up lmao but anyway google is free SO

agitation, irritability, hostility, self destructive behavior.... self explanatory we have visual canon proof of all those things. self isolation... like sending your son to go live with your best friend bc you dont think youre good enough to raise him (which to be fair he is not but also his sons shitty so idk whos winning that battle for rightness but whatever) ALSO im willing to bet if we saw the actual downfall of his and gladys’ marriage we wouldve seen his attempts at pushing her away much like how he was with fred in 107 at the jailhouse (not saying hed be physical with her but like... idk the mind wanders sometimes i cannot lie but mentally hed be in the same space) ALSO theres the alleged matter of the flashback where we see fp (along with everyone else but sh we’re focusing on fp right now) isolating himself from the group which i mean really him cutting ties with everyone who is not fred makes sense cuz they werent friends to begin with but (and idc what r*s wanted us to believe) he and fred were absolutely friends prior so THAT particular relationship is what needs to be focused on because fp pushing himself away from fred actually means something in this context.

emotional detachment is another could-be symptom... as i have also discussed via is reactions to freds death + his alcoholism which always either goes one of two ways: we see him drinking to numb the emotions or we see the drinking enhancing them (and of course all this ties back into self destructive behavior)

now for this part... i want to make it VERY clear that i absolutely do not condone riverdales writing.... i think we’re all aware of that here but lest this post get in the hands of outsiders lmao... just wanna make it clear. and they absolutely are not thinking this deeply... about anything.... but especially about fp... but like if i were the one taking charge of this storyline with whats already been written... this is how i would explain things:

so lost of interest or pleasure in activities can also be a symptom of ptsd and at first i was like eh i dont know if i really see anything in canon that backs this up BUT then i remembered fps constant flip flopping about the serpents and how he was all set up to have this cushy life on the north side only to later go back to the serpents (i guess? i still dont know whats hes doing) and particularly that stupid ass scene with archie at pops talking about how he missed ... street fighting... i guess.... anyway i say all this to say that it doesnt directly fit into “loss of interests” but i think its worth noting how he never seems to be satisfied (which... i know is 100% just inconsistent writing. i get that yes we know but i also think theres some truth to be dug out from that bc uhhhh i can do whatever i want thank you) but once again this also ties back into self destructive behavior because of course fp cannot just leave things alone when hes got it good he has this raging boner to fuck everything up at all times

ALSOOOOOO

why was it so easy for clifford to get fp on board with dumping jasons body ??? jughead wasnt threatened until fp was already arrested like WHAT fucking hold did clifford have over him ?? other than the fact that he was a man with much more power than fp and im not saying that couldve possibly triggered some twisted need to go along with him to like... appease him but... i dont know. im not a psychiatrist. (also again i know lazy writing but shhhh im on a roll)

heightened reactions... his fucking temper tantrums and outbursts... yea so theres that

fear/severe anxiety all i can think about is how in 302 when they were all confronted about g&g he had such an intense look on his face compared to everyone else WHICH I STILL WANT ANSWERS FOR but also i just gave myself one. youre welcome me (also ties in to heightened reactions)

did i mention depression? that bitch is clearly depressed and anyone who says he isnt is a liar or has never seen a depressed person

OH AND WE CAN ALSO TALK ABOUT THE SCENE WHERE HE ACTUALLY TELLS JUGHEAD WHAT AN ABUSIVE PRICK SENIOR WAS AND HOW HE LOOKED STILL VISIBLY SHAKEN WHILST THINKING BACK ON THAT TIME

insomnia/nightmares are also symptoms and while we have no canon proof he suffers either of those.... has that man ever looked well rested in his life? no. i rest my case.

#and thats what you missed on glee #fp jones #the gifset i was looking at earlier also mentioned guilt #but that wasnt on the list i just pulled up on google #and i dont think canonically fp really suffers with that #i mean... #maybe but not in the right context pertaining to this #BUT #the fp that lives in my head does lmao #briana answers things #fredheads

[softjeon]

The perfect Illusion | Pt. 6

• Pairing: Geisha!Jimin x Namjoon | Side-Pairing: Geisha!Jungkook x Yoongi • Genre: Fluff / Angst  | Geisha!AU ( → Gifset Trailer) • Words: 7,7k | ↳ AO3 • Disclaimer: mentioning of abusive behavior

*** please note that this story doesn’t mean to represent accurate geisha tradition, it was solely inspired by the beautiful art form, giving it a modern twist in a fictional universe and therefore has been dramatized for entertainment purposes.

written with @cassiavioletblue

↳  He was the perfect illusion. The getaway for anyone who didn’t want to face reality. And yet, there was something in his eyes, something vulnerable and hopeful as if he was dying for someone to see through him, to care for him enough to look behind the mask and draw out the real Jimin. And Namjoon couldn’t wait to do exactly that.

« previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter »

Jungkook’s heart was beating so hard in his chest that his ears filled with the loud thumping sound of it. When Jimin had hugged him, Jungkook searched his eyes for a second. There was something behind them that told him that he was nervous, anxious and scared. As if there was something he wanted to tell him, but he simply couldn’t.

The moment Jimin and Namjoon ran off together, Jungkook turned to do what had been asked of him. He grabbed the torn robe, quickly gathering the geisha’s entire make up into a box to close it and threw Jimin’s jacket over it. One last glance, Jungkook peeked over the side of the stage, barely seeing Namjoon being pulled out of the door and outside. He had a bad feeling about this.

Hoseok was already agitated, if he would find out… Jungkook gulped, trying not to think about any consequences as he ran towards the exit. But Namjoon would keep Jimin safe right? Jungkook hastily opened the curtain, glancing over his shoulder to see if Hoseok was somewhere close and then ran into the opposite direction.  

“Kook?” Yoongi called out for him the moment he saw him, relieved that he had run into the young Maiko instead of anyone else. Namjoon had run off and left it to him to make sure that his business partner and friend wouldn’t make a mess of everything. “Hey have you seen Namjoon? Or Jimin? I couldn’t keep him from running backstage to make sure he’s okay. I tried to make up an excuse for him and when I went after him he was already gone. Please tell me he isn’t causing trouble because of his blindly executed good heartedness?” He had been ready to play dumb customer in case he ran into anyone else but with Jungkook he could speak bluntly.

Jungkook shook his head, still feeling a bit too light-headed from the rollercoaster of emotions. “N-no, he’s with Jimin…,” The young maiko was looking around nervously, biting his lip, before he just reacted on instinct. He grabbed Yoongi’s arm, pulling him with him as he quickly lead the way to a door and pushed it open. It was only one of the many hallways that lead back to their residence, but Jungkook was sure no one would take this way right now as it lead through the geisha’s kitchen and the storage room and right now everyone was busy with doing their services – so all of the tea and snacks were coming from the main hall’s kitchen. Only when they were far enough from the door, so in case someone came they could hide again, Jungkook spoke up again. “I think they went out into the garden…Jimin was prohibited from doing service tonight.” Averting his gaze, Jungkook looked down at the ripped robe that was hanging loosely over his arm.  

“So, they are sensible for once and aren’t at risk of being caught?” Yoongi was still skeptical. “Wouldn’t it be better to try and fix the robe? I’m sure you have sewers that can work wonders. You must have rips and tears all the time with the amount of dancing you do.”

Jungkook put the robe over one of the kitchenettes and shook his head. “Even if you fix it…you still have to pay for it…for the damage you did, for the repair work. It doesn’t matter.” He shrugged his shoulders, worrying his bottom lip as he thought of how small Jimin seemed when they were shouting at him, scolding him and telling him how useless he was. “We always have to pay for our stuff. All of our living expenses will be put on our debt.” Jungkook could only barely keep himself from rubbing over his face tiredly – but he wore his makeup that he had tried to fix quickly from crying because of seeing Jimin so defeated.  

“Hm, I see.” Yoongi shook his head. “You really have a fucked up life. You’re being punished for everything that could make you seen human. It’s a wonder he doesn’t charge you for breathing the air.” Yoongi looked at the robe and frowned. “I wish I could just fix this, take Jimin’s dance dress and just let someone else repair it - but I know that wouldn’t be allowed. Everything is to be handled internally so that no one can diminish the mystery surrounding the “hummingbirds”. It’s bullshit if you ask me. It almost feels as if Hoseok is doing this for the control and not to balance his accounts.”

The younger’s doe eyes were big, a bit too glassy from crying too much as he listened to Yoongi. He slowly soothed over the ripped fabric. “Maybe,” He hummed quietly, “But weren’t you intrigued by it, too? People don’t care about what goes on behind it all. They only care about the feeling…and Hoseok knows what the people want. We never had a choice in this life anyways…so, why would it matter now?” His sudden wide eyes spoke of the realization that he had talked too much again and Jungkook quickly bowed his head in apology. “I…I am sorry. I need to bring this…this back…I need to hurry. I have service…and…”

Yoongi held him back by the shoulder, maybe a bit too suddenly because Jungkook folded in on himself as if he expected Yoongi to push him backwards or attack him otherwise. “Jungkook… Kookie... are you really still scared of me? Don’t you know that I would never hurt you? Yes, I am intrigued by geishas, by their silent promises, everything they stand for even if it’s fake. But that doesn’t mean I want those boys to suffer because of it. I can’t close my eyes now that I’ve seen how much pressure Jimin is under - or how much you have to lose. I don’t want to watch you dance if behind the stage you have to pay for it.”

Staring into Yoongi’s eyes, Jungkook could see the honesty, the way he was trying to understand their situation and the anger he felt because of their mistreatment. No matter what Yoongi had done to his heart, he had done it well. Jungkook was head over heels in love. His heart a complete mess, jumping against his chest as if he tried to pull Jungkook closer to the other, as if it only could calm down the moment it would be embraced by his warmth. Jungkook wasn’t sure what came over him, but he let go off the robe and everything else, pushing it onto one of the shelves just to press his lips onto Yoongi. But it had been what his heart wanted. “I don’t want to dance if you’re not watching me.” He whispered against his lips, not wanting to part for a second.  

Jungkook kissing him was the last thing that he had expected. Luckily his body moved on its own, kissing the younger right back while his mind tried to catch up with what was happening. As it had been Kook who initiated it he dared to touch him for real this time, embracing him tightly and holding him so that he could feel him close to his own body. It was addictingly amazing.

Jungkook pulled off just a little, cupping Yoongi’s cheeks with the palm of his hands to look at him. “Will you wait for me? Jimin says it’s not much anymore…if..if my mi-,” He broke off, soothing over Yoongi’s jawline with the tip of his finger, feeling the other’s heartbeat against his own chest. “Do you want me, Yoongi?” Jungkook asked in a careful whisper, “If I’m a geisha…”

“I already want you now if that’s what you’re asking. Though I know you can’t do that. We can wait. With everything, after... you’ve become an adult.” Thinking of the mizuage messed up his head and his stomach alike and he had no idea how to talk about this or approach - or if it would be better for the both of them to just avoid the topic until it was over and done with.

Jungkook giggled softly, before he pulled Yoongi in a tight hug. His heart was doing somersaults at the thought of Yoongi wanting him, too and if he would be able to pay off a lot of his debt, maybe work a few more months depending on how much money he would make, then he could be with him… or Yoongi would just simply ask to marry him. Either way, he just wanted to be with Yoongi in the end, because he felt like someone he could call home. “Stay with me for a little while, will you?”

“You think that’s smart considering how furious Hoseok looked like before? I’d rather not be the one to get you in trouble when my intention had been keeping Namjoon from doing just that. I think you should better go back. We’ll see each other soon, as always. I wouldn’t want to miss watching you become a geisha.”  

Jungkook nodded softly, but still kept holding onto Yoongi a little while longer, before he let go, stealing one last kiss. He knew Yoongi was right, but his heart told him otherwise.

And it was aching more with each step he took away from him.

…

Yoongi was leaning against the lamppost outside of the establishment after Jungkook and him had parted into two different directions. He still hadn’t found Namjoon, so he thought it would be best to just wait outside. Humming a happy tune to himself, Yoongi stared up at the stars. A soft smile played on his lips as he traced them with his fingertips, the tingly feeling from where Jungkook had kissed him still too evident to simply forget about it – not that he wanted to anyways. He sighed deeply, shaking himself out of his dream when a sudden rustle a few feet away from him made him stop. Yoongi furrowed his brows deeply, trying to narrow his eyes to see in the dark. He startled when a figure appeared out of one of the bushes and Yoongi blinked a couple of times to make sure he was imagining things already.

“Namjoon?” Yoongi scratched the back of his neck, walking up to him as the other tried to dust off the dirt. “Did you…get lost?” Sighing deeply, Yoongi held onto Namjoon’s arm, not even letting him answer, before already confessing, “We kissed again.”

“Maybe.” Namjoon dusted off his clothes and then cleared his throat, embarrassed that Yoongi had seen him walk through the bushes. Jimin had told him how to get back to the main area but either he hadn’t listened properly, or he had missed a turning because suddenly he had been faced with a pretty impermeable hedgerow and he kind of had to worm his way through - just to run right into Yoongi as if the other had waited for him. “Wait.” He froze, “What do you mean you kissed again. Who? Jungkook? Maiko Jungkook? Innocent little not-yet-considered-an-adult Jungkook? Geez, Yoongi!”

Shrugging his shoulders, he waved Namjoon off, “Yeah, and what about it? I like him. I like him a lot and he kissed me this time. He wanted to kiss me.” Looking his friend up and down, he noticed immediately the way Namjoon was tightening his hands into a fists repeatedly, the anger was visible in the way he was looking at the golden sign of the establishment. Yoongi quickly changed his demeanor at the realization. He ran after Namjoon, who was waving for a taxi at the side of the street.

“What is it? Is Jimin alright...Jungkook told me he wasn’t allowed back because of his fall?” He stopped Namjoon, before the other could get into a taxi first, looking at his best friend thoroughly, “What happened, Joon?”

…

When Jimin came in, it was late already. The moon was dipping the room into a silver light, as he was moving slowly and quietly not to wake the younger. Every muscle in his body was hurting, his heart aching painfully. Standing frozen at the door, Jimin looked over to the shadowy figure that was Jungkook sleeping peacefully. He had to keep going, for him, even if every fiber of his body was screaming at him to rest. Jimin leaned his head back against the door, fighting the urge to just fall onto his knees and cry. Instead, he quietly shuffled over to Jungkook’s side, lifting the blanket to crawl under it. Jungkook was sleeping on his back, snoring quietly and giving Jimin the perfect chance to just lean his head onto his chest – just like he had done with Namjoon only hours ago. He couldn’t be alone tonight.

…

The morning air felt heavy. Jimin’s eyes were still puffy and he hadn’t slept very well. The bruise on his thigh has gotten worse, but it was only a few scratches, nothing too dangerous, so he had taken Jungkook right back to training with him. Jimin ignored the pain in his thigh, stretching with the younger in the dance room, none of them really talking about what had happened last night.  

“I’m proud of you, Jungkook,” Jimin walked around the younger, smiling reassuringly at him, “I always have been and always will be, remember that okay?” He stepped back and put on the music, giving Jungkook the space he needed for his dance as he gracefully moved around the room. The moment he was taking in his ending pose, a slow clap from the door made both of them jerk around. Jimin had been way too mesmerized by his dance and Jungkook too far gone in his concentration.

“Jungkook,” Hoseok nodded affirmative, “I see you’ve been working hard. Tell me again…,” He took a step closer to the younger, ignoring Jimin’s presence completely, who was looking warily from him to Jungkook and back again. “You know every step of Jimin’s dances right?”

Jungkook swallowed harshly. He had no idea what this was about, if Hoseok would test him or if he just wanted to check if he was confident enough to represent the tea house. “Y...yes, I do?” His eyes flickered over to Jimin nervously, leaning towards him a little in an instinctive search for comfort.

“You will be doing all of Jimin’s dances. I can’t afford to have someone missing in the show…just until Jimin will come back to his senses,” Hoseok patted Jungkook’s cheek a little awkwardly, “And you’ll be a geisha in a couple of days…so it’s your right to take over then. I hope everything is all settled.” Pushing his hands into his waist, he smiled proudly, “Another boy growing to be a geisha.” The smile didn’t waver as he turned on his heel, looking right through Jimin as he left them without saying any proper goodbye.  

“N...no, I can’t.. Jimin is way better than…,” Hoseok didn’t even pretend to listen to him he just walked away from him leaving the two of them with no choice but to accept his cruel demand. “Jimin!” Jungkook turned towards the older. “I can’t do this! I don’t want to do this, those are your dances, your opportunities to get attention of possible customers. I won’t take that away from you. Can’t you talk to Hoseok? Tell him you will be more careful, that you won’t fall on stage again. You never fell before. I’m sure he’ll listen to you; he always talks to you and gives you his fullest attention.”

“I already talked to him and he said my punishment will be decided tomorrow…which is now.” Jimin patted Jungkook’s shoulder softly, “It’s okay. You’ll be doing great and you can make so much more money then. If you’re a geisha then, people will want to see you, tip you…its good. You’re so close, Jungkook. Don’t mess it up now, please. Do it for me, okay?” Cupping the Youngers cheek, the geisha looked at him in earnest, “Promise me?”

“No!” He turned his head away from Jimin’s touch. “How can you think I’d throw you under the bus like that? You wouldn’t do that to me so why would I rob you of the only way to earn your money? This is why we are here! And I know you want to get out of here too you can’t hide that. Not from me.”

Jimin’s expression softened, tears burning in his eyes just because everything just had been too much lately, and he couldn’t bear to see Jungkook mad. “We can’t do anything about Hoseok’s decision now, you know that. And yes,” He toned down his voice, “I want to get out of here, too and I will. Right after you…N-Namjoon, he will help me.” Rubbing the side of his temple, Jimin felt the headache settling in. Shutting his eyes for a moment, he snapped them open again to look at the maiko softly, “You aren’t robbing me, nor are you throwing me under the bus. If I know that your chances of getting out of here are heightened it is everything I want. Please do that for me, okay? I will follow, I promise.”

Jungkook’s stance wavered a little at that. “Namjoon will help? And you are sure that it will be okay? I… I don’t want to make Hoseok angry by disobeying him like that but... you promise you will talk to him again? Maybe he changes his mind. You can get your dances back at every time. They are yours and no one dances them as beautifully as you.”

“Yes, of course if that is what you want,” He said before adding, “And I am more than sure. Namjoon promised me, that they will take you somewhere safe when you’re out of here. You will be taken care of until I’ll be there, or you know what you want to do, or where you want to be.” Jimin nodded softly; barely able to look into Jungkook’s eyes with his own tearing up, so he quickly hugged the younger tightly only pulling back lightly when he got a hold of himself. “I trust him,” The geisha whispered, “More than that actually. I love him…”

Jungkook made a surprised sound. “Oh Minnie! That’s... that’s awesome! I knew he had a thing for you the moment you entered the room on our first private show with them. But I never thought that you would fall in love with him too! Sometimes life is fair after all, right? You deserve to be happy. And you will make Namjoon so very, very happy. I’m hoping he’ll do the same for you.”

Jimin couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Let’s start from the top, shall we? We have a  lot to practice…and I need to tell you a little bit…maybe I kissed Namjoon,” Jimin cheered, trying to keep up a happier voice as he turned back to the music and pushed ‘play’, hastily wiping over his eyes to get rid of the tears and not making Jungkook bombard him with questions right away. Watching Jungkook dance and train (with a lot of memories of Namjoon’s smile and the way his lips felt against his own) was the only way to keep his mind from slipping.

At least right now.

Just for a little while. 

It didn’t take long for Jimin to feel useless like he hadn’t in quite a while. When everybody was gone and working, doing services, he was always left alone.

So, the days passed and when normally every day of his was filled with duties of being a geisha, Jimin had absolutely nothing now. He didn’t even wear make-up today, carrying the laundry outside to hang it in the sun to dry while the others were working. He was doing the work of a maiko. Not one of a geisha that had been here for way too long. And it wasn’t even his laundry!

Biting his tongue, Jimin kept himself from crying. He had cried too much the past days. The only thing that kept him not drifting into a dark mindset was the thought of Namjoon and Jungkook. Though both weren’t with him right now and although he could see Jungkook anytime he wanted to, Namjoon was out of reach for him.

It was driving him crazy.

…

Bowing deeply, the geisha blinked up at the handsome man in front of him. “Mr. Kim, I am sorry to inform you that Jimin won’t be able to make it tonight so I’d be honored if I can accompany you.” The geisha immediately linked his arms with him, not really waiting for an answer and motioned towards the small bridge that led into the garden, pulling a stunned Namjoon with him. “We need to enjoy a beautiful day like this,” The geisha held out his hand right over the sun, letting it rays shine right through them as he moved his fingers softly, the shadow dancing on his face. “Don’t you think?”

“Why...” He swallowed down his question and followed Taehyung as he didn’t really have another choice. “Would you mind telling me why exactly my private session with Jimin was cancelled? Please don’t take this the wrong way you are charming as well of course but I’m not really fond of surprises.”

The Geisha bowed his head in a respectful manner. “Oh, I didn’t…want to make you feel uncomfortable. I apologize,” Taehyung spoke in perfect mannerism as he led Namjoon further into the garden. “I’m not supposed to tell you but…I can trust you, right? You’re a gentleman.” He poked Namjoon’s chest, giggling, “Jimin only accompanies gentlemen. He always got an eye out on the rich, beautiful men.” Shaking his head, as if he had drifted off, Taehyung smiled at Namjoon, sounding too cheerful for talking about Jimin like this, “As a geisha you’re supposed to follow rules…if you don’t, you get reprimanded, Mr. Kim. Don’t you remind your employees of their loyalty, too if you feel like they are…well, not keeping in line?”

Namjoon didn’t like the direction in which this was heading. But it wasn’t like he could just tell that to Taehyung's face and then expect that it wouldn’t make things more difficult for him and Jimin. “So…Jimin is grounded in some way? Could you tell me when he’s allowed to take on customers again? Just so that I know when to schedule my next appointment.”

“I’m not sure, sir.” Taehyung answered honestly, “They are preparing a mizuage right now. I don’t know if you have heard. Are you going to bet, Mr. Kim? Maybe after that’s done he’s going to be allowed back. It’s always a lot of stress for Mr. Jung each time.” Namjoon’s smile was forced and tight lipped. “Yes, I’ve heard. And no, I’m not going to bid on him. I come here for relaxation and light company, not for sex.”

Namjoon froze on the spot when he saw a movement in one of the buildings. The window was open, and someone was folding clothes. It was Jimin. The way Taehyung's face twisted into a secret little smile he realized that this hadn’t happened on accident. Taehyung wanted him to see. Maybe he wanted him to feel bad - or he thought that Namjoon wouldn’t like Jimin after he had seen him in casual clothes. Because instead of his geisha outfits he wore a loose worn out shirt and pants that had been sown at the knees. He didn’t wear any makeup either and Namjoon’s jaw hung open. Until now the younger had always worn some kind of makeup - because as a geisha he needed to wear it for a customer. Even when they had met backstage or in between Jimin had always been already prepared. Though there was absolutely nothing on his face. No paint, no color around his eyes or tint on his lips. He just looked entirely himself - and so very, very soft.

Namjoon had ended the appointment earlier than usual, tipping Taehyung extra to not make it seem like he hadn’t been a good company. He had been, just a little too perfect. Too made up, his geisha mask perfectly in place.

But Namjoon didn’t want that, he wanted Jimin and knowing the other had been punished for his fall (he had no clue that Hoseok had seen Jimin sneaking back in) was making him awfully sick. When he passed the reception, Namjoon forced himself to smile at the young lady there who was always greeting everyone so nicely on their way in our out. “I hope you have a good evening. Oh…Sir, I got something for you,” She waved her hand, making Namjoon stop immediately.

What if Jimin gave him a message? Maybe he had seen him too? The hope was blooming in his chest like a flower - just for a second, before it all wilted again.  

“We’re holding a ‘coming of age’ this Saturday and you are invited,” The receptionist smile didn’t waver a bit as she handed the card over to him and Namjoon hesitantly took it from her. It all didn’t seem right, and it made Namjoon awfully aware that he couldn’t keep this from happening, no matter how hard he tried. He didn’t say anything when he turned on his heel again; rushing outside into the cold air of the night, hoping it would clear his head. He had nothing, but word against word to get Jimin out of here.

And even more nothing, to keep Jungkook from having to give himself over to a stranger.  

...

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” Namjoon leaned back against the couch in Yoongi’s apartment, groaning in a desperate manner. He startled just a little when the other’s hand placed onto his shoulder in a reassuring gesture. “You know what to do.” Yoongi sat down beside him, holding out a cup of decaf coffee for Namjoon (hey, not even he drank coffee in the middle of the night) who took it with a faint smile.

“But I don’t want to play his game. It isn’t fair,” The anger was boiling hot inside of him and still he knew that Yoongi was right. He hadn’t had much options anymore. And the more he stayed away from Jimin, the more he couldn't take it. “And what about Jungkook? I promised him that we take care of him. Jimin said, his debt is almost paid of...with this stupid…,” Namjoon threw the invitation card onto the table and Yoongi’s eyes followed it for a second as it slid across the glass surface, “...this stupid ‘coming of age’...”  

Yoongi’s face changed, just subtly but he didn’t comment on what was literally right in front of him. Namjoon wondered, honestly what Yoongi was feeling when thinking about the mizuage. He himself couldn’t even think about Jimin’s mizuage without nausea and anger poisoning his inside, making him want to throw things and destroy something - preferably Hoseok.

He couldn’t imagine how Yoongi must feel thinking about what was about to come. As it was right now it seemed Yoongi would just repress it and try to forget everything it meant. Of course he could always bid on him but a) it was an awful, awful lot of money that Hoseok would get which was not what either of them wanted and it would also support the horrible tradition itself and b) how would it affect their relationship if Yoongi crushed their blooming romance by forcing Jungkook to lose his virginity to him in a way that had nothing to do with love and everything with disregarding the younger’s personal wishes? 

He sighed deeply, wiping a hand over his face and hoping that it would wipe away the sadness as well and all the horrible thoughts and emotions with it. 

“Let’s just hope the mizuage will be over soon and Kookie...” He couldn’t even finish the sentence. What was he supposed to say anyway? ‘Let’s hope that sweet little Kook won’t get a trauma from being taken by the highest bidder just so he can pay off his debt to an abusive asshole who made money with buying children that he then turned into fragile beings, ready to be broken for his own pleasure? He hated this, he hated it so much!

It had been the longest days until Jungkook’s mizuage.

The days at the office had been quiet. The tension was palpable in the room and Namjoon swore if he reached out into the air he could feel it, that’s how thick it was. The more days passed, the more agitated seemed the designer, while he tried to concentrate on his project. But Namjoon could see the tension in his shoulders, the deep crease in his brows that Yoongi only had when he was overthinking something, tapping the pencil nervously against the drawing board. Namjoon had asked Yoongi earlier if they wanted to get a drink together tonight, trying to cheer the other up in hope he could forget about what the young maiko was doing tonight. But Yoongi had only growled at him and he backed off. It was never a wise decision to anger an angry Yoongi further. So, Namjoon decided to just let him be, getting him some lunch later (because Yoongi easily forgot to eat a lot of times when he was stressed out) and kept himself from talking about Jungkook, or the establishment.  

Namjoon was rubbing the side of his temples in an oncoming headache, staring at his screen for the longest time without even really realizing what he was reading for the nth time today. He had to start over a couple of times until the email was finally sent and he could lean back. Letting his gaze wander over their lengthy office, Namjoon startled when he saw Yoongi’s workplace empty.

Quickly, he took a look around but Yoongi was nowhere to be seen.

“Soyou?” Namjoon pushed down the dial that connected him with their secretary, “Did you see Yoongi go out?” A sough came through the speaker, before a soft voice answered, “He already clocked out, Mr. Kim.” Namjoon hummed in response as he glanced over to the clock. His heart began to beat fast when he saw how late it was. Maybe this was stupid, even more so from all the things he had done before - but if he would hurry now, Namjoon could still make it to the ‘coming of age’ show, that was about to start in thirty minutes. There was a need burning inside of him that felt like he wanted to support Jimin in this, whose heart must be breaking in a millions of pieces tonight seeing Jungkook being scared and anxious. He didn’t even care if he had to sneak in again or see Jimin only through the garden gate to talk to him, to tell him that everything would be okay and that he would find a way.  

…

The morning of Jungkook’s mizuage, Jimin slipped under the covers of his blanket, waking the younger with a kiss on his cheek and a loving smile. He held the younger, letting him stay in his embrace just for a little while until neither of them could stretch the time further. Helping Jungkook up, he intertwined their hands tightly, determined on not letting him go until he had to go on stage. Jimin was washing Jungkook’s face, wiping over his cheeks softly as the younger was trying to hold back the tears. The geisha didn’t say anything, just took care of him silently and with the uttermost care to not startle him. “Take a shower, okay? Then we’ll put some lotion on. You can use mine…the one which smells like roses, the one you like so much.” Jimin soothed over the younger’s cheek, “I won’t leave you, remember. I’ll stay right here.”

Jungkook just nodded as he didn’t trust his voice right now. He knew that he wasn’t the first and wouldn’t be the last to go through with this and yet he was scared, so very scared of what was about to come. He didn’t want this. But it wasn’t as if he had a choice and so he tried to be brave and do everything with a smile. He needed to be pretty and sweet and graceful or no one would want him. He only had one chance before being sent back into a room where he had to wait for the highest bidder to come to him, not even knowing who it would be until the door opened. His stomach was already tying itself into knots at that thought alone and he was glad he hadn’t had breakfast yet or it might have come back up. He gripped Jimin’s arm tightly, keeping him from walking away from him even for one step. “T...tell me again how it’s going to be fine, Jimin, p...please!”

The fear was so evident in Jungkook’s eyes that Jimin felt his heart breaking right in that very moment. Cupping his soft cheeks, the geisha stepped closer, “It’s going to be fine, Jungkook. I promise, baby, I promise.” Hugging the younger close, Jimin held on tightly to him, scared that otherwise Jungkook might fall apart right in front of him. “I will be right there again, okay?” He placed a kiss on Jungkook’s cheeks, “And then I won’t ever let go of you. Not once. It’s going to be over soon.” Jimin hated that he needed to talk to Jungkook like this, to make him feel confident enough to go through with everything. He wished he could have prevented this, that no harm was ever going to come close to the younger – but even Jimin couldn’t protect him forever.

He hadn’t spoken it aloud that he didn’t want this, and he hadn’t planned on doing it either but right now with his head against Jimin’s shoulder and the others arms around him it just broke its way out of him. “Minnie, I don’t think I can do this, I don’t want this, please, and I don’t want anyone to have me I… I don’t even know what I’m doing and… and... It’s too much, way too much I like kissing Yoongi but everything else is just... I don’t want this, Minnie please, I can’t... I just can’t...” His voice died out as it was choked by tears and he finally started crying even if he had sworn to himself that he wouldn’t right this very morning.

Jimin was barely able to catch Jungkook with the way he fell into his hold even more now. “I…I know I’m so sorry, please, I tried…Jungkookie, I tried so much. I wish I could do this instead of you,” Jimin wrapped his arms around the younger, soothingly caressing over his back while he fought his own tears that threatened to spill over. “Sh,shh-h, it’s going to be alright,” He whispered, placing a few more kisses on his cheeks, “I will catch you; I promise I will.” Leaning back a little more, he lifted Jungkook’s face so the younger looked at him. “You will be out of here soon, and then no one can hurt you anymore. Do you hear me? I won’t let anyone hurt you and I don’t care if it’s not allowed but I will be close by and if you need me. Scream my name, okay?” Jimin sniffled quietly, repeating his order once more so Jungkook understood. “I don’t care anymore. Hoseok can punish me as much as he wants but he doesn’t get to hurt you.”

“H...hoseok? But I’m not talking about Hoseok. Minnie, I’m not scared of him I... I mean I am whenever he gets angry, but you always seem to calm him and I’m so, so thankful for the way you protect me. I don’t always tell you but I... I know. That you talk to him for me. That when he’s angry at me and you go with him he forgets my punishment. One day you have to teach me how to talk to people like that, okay?” He tried to smile before it faded back into worry. “I’m... I’m scared of ... of everything that has to happen tonight. I don’t want to step on the stage knowing everyone’s eyes are on me for an entirely different reason than usual. I don’t want to wait in silence, alone until they’re done bidding on me as if... as if I don’t have worth on my own and I’m only worth my innocence - or the money I can make for Hoseok. And I don’t… I don’t want to...” His throat closed up again and he got himself out of Jimin’s hold. His smile wavered a little, but he put it back into place, the same way Jimin had learned to do at a very, very early age: Pushing back everything you felt and just concentrating on surviving. No matter the cost.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to … to whine. You already do so much for me. And I know this can’t be helped. I just have to go through with it. You must think I’m such a spoilt, egoistic child trying to get out of this when you all had to do this before me. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… bother you. Forgive me please.”

Jimin’s eyes had widened for a moment, until he quickly replaced his expression with a warm smile. “That’s what I meant,” He nodded, caressing over Jungkook’s cheeks, “You are worth so much, Jungkook. So, so much…I wish I could have worked harder for us. To get us out of here sooner, but I couldn’t and I’m sorry.” Jimin couldn’t bear to see Jungkook smiling like this, knowing he was the reason why he had learned to push back his pain and ignore his own feelings over this. “Remember, you’re always worth so much to me. You’re not whiny, Jungkook,” He reached out for Jungkook’s hand to squeeze it lightly, “You’re scared and that’s okay. I was scared, too. A lot,. actually. What did I tell you, hm? It’s okay to feel these kind of things, to be scared.”

He absolutely despised to see Jungkook like this, so stiff and with a wavering smile on his lips. Sighing deeply, Jimin had to admit his defeat though, because no matter what he would say, no matter how many times he would tell Jungkook it was okay to be scared it would change absolutely nothing about the situation. But at least he could promise Jungkook something, that he hadn’t when it had been his mizuage. Jimin soothed over the younger’s hair once, gazing deep into his eyes, “You won’t be alone in this.”

“Yeah. I won’t.” He couldn’t suppress the shudder that run through him when he imagined some shady, faceless figure that would come into the room he was waiting in to do to him whatever they had paid for but quickly pushed that thought down. It would happen no matter what. So, he better got used to it. He’s had years that had been nice because of Jimin, being shielded and cared for. It was time he grew up and acted as an adult. He needed to take responsibility, lift the weight off of Jimin’s shoulders after he had carrying it for so long because of him. He would manage.

They both would.

While Jungkook had been taking a shower, Jimin prepared everything else in their room. His gaze was wandering over his desk, counting every piece of make-up he had before turning around to check on Jungkook’s robe again that Jin had made for this special occasion. He did this a couple of times, checking every little detail and making the younger even more nervous with it when he stood there awkwardly, not really knowing what to do. They had all day to themselves and Jimin had planned it perfectly, with enough time, so neither would get stressed or if Jungkook would freak out there was still a lot of space for him to calm him again.  

Jungkook stood there awkwardly, naked except for the thin bathrobe that he was using to cover himself up, looking at Jimin who was going over the details once again. “Do you think I could skip some of the preparation and just go over the choreo again? I’ll come back in time for you to do my makeup and hair and dress me like you’re supposed to but... I’d really like to feel as if I’m having some time to myself on this day. Just... a little while. Alone. You think that would be okay?” He smiled as if he was perfectly fine now. He’s had the whole shower time to practice.

The geisha looked up at the younger, a little confused and his heart was beating fast against his chest. “I guess,” Jimin got up from the bed he sat on and walked over to Jungkook, squeezing his arm lightly, “Please don’t sweat too much then and…if you need me. I-I have to do some laundry duty anyways, so I’ll be back in an hour if you’re looking for me.” Before the geisha turned around though, he looked at Jungkook thoroughly one last time, opening his mouth to say something just to close it again.

There was no way to make it easier for them.  

Jungkook nodded, breathing out a sigh of relief as soon as Jimin had turned his back on him. He wasn’t used to pretending and it was really energy consuming. So he wanted to go to the training room, all alone and just dance his heart out one last time.

For himself.

No one else.

And if needed to cry again then he would without having to tell someone or justify himself or assuring the others that he was fine and would behave as expected of him. He just wanted to be himself for a tiny little moment before someone would take that away from him and just treat him like a human toy, something to buy and use and leave in whatever state he would be in. He just hoped he would have a few minutes to himself after. Or hours. To practice his smile and cater to the whole in his chest that had started to grow this morning and threatened to swallow him whole cause he just wasn’t used to this. He wondered if Jimin’s had that too and just learned to cope - or if he was stronger as a person in general. He was too soft, too childlike, and too naive, he knew that. And it had been okay for as long as he had been a Maiko. But he couldn’t take that with him to the other side.

Tomorrow he would be grown up and he needed to act like that.

The show had already started, when Jimin was still applying the last bits of Jungkook’s make-up, the music filling the silence between them. Jungkook had been away for a couple of hours, before giving into the preparations that were necessary for the ceremony. The geisha was keeping one of his hands placed on Jungkook’s firmly, wanting to give the younger something to hold onto while he was applying some more powder and for the first time giving him a full geisha make-up. “You’re beautiful, Jungkook,” Jimin whispered softly, “You look really, really handsome. Look…” He placed a finger under Jungkook’s chin, making him tilt his face towards the mirror so he could look at himself. Getting up, he walked around the younger reaching out for the belt that was still hanging loosely around a chair. “Now, I’ll be the one helping you,” Jimin tried a smile and motioned for Jungkook to get up and turn around for him.  

Seeing himself in the mirror was a strange feeling. Because his face didn’t look like him. He had become comfortable in the mask the maiko makeup provided it had become his identity. And now all that was gone, replaced with something more mature he had to fit into although he didn’t feel different yet. However, he knew he would tomorrow morning. He smiled at the mirror. Mentally patting himself on the back because his smile looked good, a little different but... mature. As if faking it was all it was about. “Thank you, Jimin. It really looks good.” He let the older wrap the belt around him and then asked him to pull a little tighter because he feared like he might collapse if there wasn’t something keeping him together. And he couldn’t breathe properly anyway so he should better make it worth it.

There wasn’t much left to say, nothing more to do but to wait for Jungkook’s cue. Since Jimin was still being punished, the geisha didn’t need to wear any makeup, or any fancy robes that Jungkook needed to help him with. So, they stood there, waiting with their hands intertwined until it was the younger’s turn. Something in the atmosphere changed immediately, a whisper fell to the crowd, well aware that the next dancer would be the one they could bid for. It sent a shiver down Jimin’s spine and he squeezed Jungkook’s hand one last time, before letting him go.

It was the simplest and hardest thing he’d ever done.

When the music began to play and the younger moved so effortlessly across the stage, the memories began flooding Jimin’s mind: from the day he had been introduced to the young boy until now. Everything he had done from that moment on, he had done for Jungkook. Jimin wiped a tear from his cheek, sniffling quietly.  

Jungkook stepped on stage and for a split second he felt like he couldn’t move. The air vanished completely from his lungs and he couldn’t see from the lights he was normally used to. Fear froze him in place and all he wanted was to run off stage and hide or run away and only stop running when he had found a place where no one would ever find him again. But then the music started, and his body moved on its own, the countless hours of practice that had conditioned his muscles setting them in motion and he closed his eyes, just banished everything from his mind.

And danced.

A/N: Oh the mizuage is happening. You know things will happen soon, right ;) What do you think? Where is Yoongi? Will Namjoon make it in time and will he find Jimin who isn’t allowed to be in the main room anymore? Hoseok seems pretty fed up with him. Yahhh, we will see ;) Only two more chapters left. Let us know what you think in the comments below!❤ @cassiavioletblue and I can’t wait to know what you guys thoughts are!

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[gigi-sinclair]

Just a Little More Than I Wanted To Know, rated T

Based on THAT gifset of @mmcnulty’s. Yes, that one. Content warnings at the end if you have concerns. 

Edward had a boyfriend.

John didn't mind that, of course. He was religious, but that didn't make him a homophobe, or a prude, and Edward had been his friend since childhood. John wanted him to be happy.

On a practical level, things had been a lot tighter, budget-wise, since George moved out to live with his pregnant girlfriend. John and Edward had talked about looking for a new flatmate, but that would mean John giving up the flat's third bedroom, which he was currently using as a home studio for his watercolour painting. If Edward's boyfriend moved into Edward's bedroom, John reasoned, John wouldn't have to give up the studio, and they would still get a little extra income each month. Enough that John might not have to resort to Bombay Bad Boy Pot Noodles more than once a week.

And John liked the boyfriend. Tom, he was called. A bit younger than Edward, he worked at a swanky menswear shop in Mayfair, the kind of place where you had measurements taken and everything looked like it belonged in your granddad's closet, if your granddad was a wealthy hipster. He and Edward met when, on his way to work, Tom was knocked over by a bike messenger. Or would have been, had the passing Edward not stepped in and caught him at just the right moment.

“Sounds like something out of a romantic comedy,” John commented, when Tom told this story. Tom was holding Edward's hand and gazing into his eyes. “Or a nineteenth century novel.”

“My Byronic hero,” Tom agreed. Edward, who had never shared so much as a meaningful glance with any of his previous partners in John's presence, looked back at him and, to John's utter astonishment, kissed Tom on the mouth. It went on for some time. Long enough, in fact, that they were still making out when John came back with his Pot Noodle and put up his feet to watch the Aston Villa match on his laptop.

Tom obviously loved Edward. The feeling was clearly returned. Tom was at their place nearly all the time anyway. They might as well make it official. I'll talk to Edward about it tonight, John decided, retrieving the bills from the postbox and climbing the stairs to their flat.

If life was a movie, John later thought, this was the point at which the soundtrack would have begun a slow build-up of suspenseful strings, a hint that horror was just around the corner. In reality, thanks to a headphone-wearing girl on the Tube who would likely be stone deaf by the age of thirty, John was humming the lightly blasphemous “Good as Hell” when he slipped his key into the lock and stopped in his tracks.

Edward was standing in the kitchen. Unfortunately, the open floorplan, which had seemed such a boon when they first found the flat, meant his position was clearly visible from the front door.

“Edward!” The name slipped out before John could consider other, wiser alternatives, such as immediately moving back to Scotland, although he hadn’t lived there in decades, and never communicating with his longtime flatmate and even longer time friend again.

“Oh, fuck!” was Edward's immediate reply. To be fair, the crudeness did fit in with his current wardrobe aesthetic, which could best be described as “dishevelled, half-naked schoolboy.” For a moment, John wondered where Edward had found the school tie and blazer, the only articles of clothing he was wearing. Then he realized they were Edward's own, from when the two of them were in sixth form college.

John wasn't sure whether that made this scenario better or worse, but he had to concede, it was impressive Edward could still fit into a jacket he'd worn at eighteen, even if the sleeves were a little short.

“Now, now, Mr. Little,” another voice came through Edward's bedroom door. It sounded like Tom, if Tom had stepped from the set of a lower-rated porn video. Not that John would know anything about porn, poorly rated or otherwise. “You know what happens to boys who swear, don't you?”

Even as Edward's face turned pale, John made the instant decision to pretend he had gone as deaf as that girl on the Tube.

“I thought you were working late tonight,” Edward said, his tone strangled.

“That's tomorrow.”

“Shit.”

John felt himself begin to pale a little, too. “Listen, Edward, I...”

Then Tom appeared in the bedroom doorway.

John wouldn't have expected his lacy black panties, although now that he'd seen Edward dressed as a naughty schoolboy, John didn't think there was much that could shock him in terms of attire. The table tennis paddle in Tom's hand was a little astonishing, given John was reasonably certain there wasn't the space for a table in Edward's bedroom.

“John!” If Edward was deathly pale, then Tom was rapidly turning the colour of a ripe summer tomato.

“I was just leaving.” John turned. He heard Tom call something out after him, an apology it sounded like, but it didn't matter. John fled as fast as he could down the stairs and back onto the street, only stopping to catch his breath when it became obvious neither of them was pursuing him. Well, John told himself, they aren't exactly dressed for it.

A laugh rose up inside him. He tried to force it down. He thought about the suffering of Jesus, the frailty of mankind, all the usual things, but it wasn't sufficient. The laughter exploded loudly enough for a passing woman with a dog to look at him like he was insane.

Maybe I am, John thought. But Edward was his best friend, Edward loved Tom, and John really, really loved his home studio.

He pulled his phone from his pocket. Text me when I can come home, he wrote to Edward. Emojis were not John's forte, but he added a little smiling face, because he knew Edward, and Edward would be dying of humiliation at the moment. Then, We should talk about Tom moving in. With, naturally, a few ground rules about proper attire in the common areas, and a copy of John's up-to-date work schedule posted on the fridge at all times.

He sent the text, not expecting a reply for a while, and headed to Waterstones for a cup of tea at Café W and a browse through the art magazines.

Now that his studio was going to be permanent, John had a lot of projects he wanted to pursue.

CW for implied spanking, implied age play, and explicit embarrassment. For @theterrorbingo square [accidental] exhibitionism. 

#theterrorbingo #joplittle #gifset fun

[emospritelet]

Homecoming - chapter 13

Yes, I know, it’s been months. Apparently I needed to see gifsets before I could work on this again, but here we are! I get them out of London and on their way north, which is good, because Things are going to Happen when they get there...

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9] [Part 10] [Part 11] [Part 12] AO3 link

x

Belle had enjoyed the Christmas festivities a great deal more than she had expected. She had spent a pleasant couple of days reading in the library, chatting with Ogilvy and the Professor over tea in the afternoon, or over a glass of wine at dinner. She had also spent time with Alice, who had kept her promise to ask her dressmaker to make up a gown for Belle from the bolt of blue silk she had been given as a Christmas gift. Madame Etoile was pleasant and polite, gushing over Belle’s face and form, and the colour of the silk. It would perfectly set off her pale skin and chestnut hair, Madame Etoile remarked, smiling broadly as she ran small, neat hands over the gleaming cloth.

There was some discussion over styles, once her measurements were taken, Madame Etoile’s pattern book filled with the latest fashions from Paris, and Belle was excited by the prospect of having a new gown in such a fetching colour. It would certainly make a change from the more staid dresses that she had been wearing during her time as a governess, and she hoped that she would get more than one chance to wear the gown. It would be ready for its first fitting when they returned from their journey to Lady Tremaine’s house in the north of England.

The day after Boxing Day, a letter was received from Lady Tremaine, who pronounced herself “delighted that you will be visiting my humble home and confident that you will be able to rid me of the evil entities that dwell there and steal my rest”. Ogilvy read this line aloud over breakfast, in a very dry tone and with one eyebrow raised. It made Belle want to giggle, and Alice snorted in amusement.

“When shall we go, Papa?” she asked eagerly, and Ogilvy passed the letter back to the Professor before picking up his piece of toast and marmalade.

“Her Ladyship informs me that she’s travelled back to the North, and has invited us for the New Year, so I should think we can set off the day after tomorrow,” he said. “That should give Hatter plenty of time to pack the cases. You know how he likes to plan these things.”

“What did Lady Tremaine say about us staying at that cottage?” asked Alice, and he shook his head, chewing a bite of toast. He took a sip of coffee to clear his throat.

“Unfortunately, it’s been undergoing quite extensive repairs,” he said. “She’s asked us to stay at the house instead. I did mention that we were planning on bringing quite an entourage, but she doesn’t seem to object. I hear Willowbrook Grange is extensive, so I daresay she’s got the room.”

“It’s only the four of us, and the twins,” protested Alice. “And Hatter and Ivy, of course, although I don’t imagine that would be an issue. Ivy can come, can’t she?”

Ogilvy looked at her over the top of his glasses.

“Well, someone’s going to have to dress you and Miss Marchland,” he said dryly. “I'd like to to remember that Lady Tremaine has invited other guests to a shooting party, and that she plans “a series of entertainments”. If you think I’m suffering that with only Doc for company while you two lounge around in the library, you’re mistaken.”

Belle glanced between them, surprised and a little alarmed by the prospect of Lady Tremaine’s reaction to the governess attending a house party.

“I’m sure she wouldn’t want me there,” she said quickly, and Ogilvy switched his gaze from Alice to her.

“We expect Lady Tremaine to consider you a guest, Miss Marchland,” he said quietly. “I shall insist upon you being treated as an equal, I assure you. Not only because you’re part of this family now, but also because I think your good sense and logic would be of use to Doc and myself in this investigation.”

“We’ll need all the good sense and logic we can get, judging from that letter,” remarked the Professor, spearing a piece of bacon with his fork. “Her Ladyship appears to be convinced that she’s been marked by the Devil himself.”

“Well, perhaps we can put her mind at ease,” said Ogilvy, picking up his coffee. “At the very least it will give us a change of scene, and some good clean air. From what I can recall, the lake country is very beautiful, and Lady Tremaine is said to have stunning gardens. Perhaps they would add a little something to our morning walk, if - if you would accompany me, of course.”

He was looking at Belle expectantly, and she couldn’t help smiling.

“I should be delighted.”

He returned her smile, his eyes crinkling, and turned back to his breakfast. She resumed eating her own, trying to ignore the pleasing little flutter in her belly that appeared whenever he smiled at her. Over the past few days she had grown to know him a little more, spending her evenings in the library, or discussing books and music after dinner. He was very knowledgeable, and well-travelled, as was the Professor, and she had listened eagerly to their reminiscing, although she was sceptical about the far-fetched nature of some of their stories, and thought them embellished for her sake, and for Alice’s. They could not really have discovered a nest of demons in the tunnels beneath Exeter, for example, but she had enjoyed the tale, nonetheless.

She had spent more time with the children, as well, getting to know their quirks and assessing how far along they were with their schooling. Neither could read or write much beyond their own names. With one or two notable exceptions.

“Please write your names at the tops of your slates, as neatly as you can,” said Belle, setting a clean slate in front of each of them.

The schoolroom was light and fresh, a cold draught finding its way in under the sash window, and Belle kept an eye on the twins in case they started to shiver. She watched as they scratched out their names in wobbly letters, Nicholas scowling at his slate.

“Very good,” she said, when they had finished, making a mental note to work on their writing. The letters were recognisable, but they would need to learn to write with a better hand. “Now show me what else you can spell.”

The twins looked at each other, then back at their slates. They made no move to write, and Belle decided to prompt them with some simpler words. Her eyes flicked to where Charlie was curled up in a patch of sunlight by the window.

“Can you spell ‘cat’?” she asked, and the twins shook their heads.

“I can spell ‘shit’,” announced Nicholas. “Old Bartholomew down at The Turk’s Head showed me.”

“Oh, I can spell ‘shit’ too!” said Ava eagerly, and Belle closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again.

“Well, I would hope you won’t find the need to put that word into any formal correspondence,” she said dryly, making them giggle. “Perhaps we should run through the alphabet before putting any words together.”

She also spent time with Alice, who seemed to enjoy having another woman in the house, and one that she could talk to almost as an equal. Belle thought that Ogilvy and the Professor had done an excellent job of raising her, considering the start she had had in life and the lack of a wife in the house to act as a mother figure. Alice was curious and intelligent, eager to learn new things and incredibly excited at the thought of going on a journey. She chattered away as Belle packed her valise, sitting on the bed in her usual familiar way.

“I heard that Willowbrook Grange is haunted,” she said. “So Mrs Wolfe says, anyway. Maybe that’s what Lady Tremaine has asked Papa and Doc to help with. They don’t always deal with hauntings, you know. Doc says sometimes the spirits just like the place where they used to live, and that we shouldn’t throw them out of their own house just because it makes us uncomfortable. Of course, sometimes they’re trapped there, and then he and Papa help them to cross over. They wouldn’t be able to come back if they didn’t, you see.”

“Come back?” said Belle curiously, and Alice nodded.

“Come back as someone else,” she explained. “Another life.”

Another life. Perhaps she believes as Mr Ogilvy does. Past lives.

“Do you believe in ghosts?” asked Belle, folding a blouse, and Alice beamed.

“Oh yes!” she said. “I used to see them all the time in the alleys before I came here. Poor, lost souls, they were. I wish Doc could have helped them find a way out. I don’t think any of them wanted to be there.”

She chewed at her lip, looking sad, and Belle tried to change the subject.

“I hear the house is very grand,” she said. “I’m sure I shall feel quite out of place.”

“Of course you won’t,” Alice assured her. “You lived at Furton Grange, didn’t you? I’m sure Lady Tremaine’s house can’t be any grander than that.”

“Perhaps not,” allowed Belle. “I wish my new dress had been ready for the journey, though.”

“You shall wear it when we get back,” said Alice. “For my birthday, perhaps. That’s in February. The dress will be ready by then. We can have some music and dancing, like at Christmas.”

“That would be very pleasant.”

“You can dance with Papa,” she said. “He’s very fond of you, you know. He smiles a lot more, since you came.”

Belle could feel a slight blush in her cheeks, and she turned her attention to the stockings she was packing to hide it.

“I’m - I’m glad,” she managed. “He’s been very kind. You all have. I’m very happy that I came here.”

“We’re glad too!” said Alice. “It felt as though something was missing from the house, and then you came!”

She reached for Belle’s hand, squeezing it, a wide smile on her face, and Belle couldn’t help smiling back. Yes. She was very glad to have found this little family, and to be considered a part of it.

x

They departed early, Hatter hailing a cab to take them to the station at Euston, and another for he and Ivy and their cases. They would be breaking their journey in Derbyshire, Lady Ella having sent an effusive letter inviting them to stay at Furton Grange, and Belle clasped the children’s hands as they walked swiftly along the platform through clouds of billowing steam. Ogilvy helped each of them into the carriage, and Alice glanced back over her shoulder as she mounted the train, face alight with excitement.

The twins were wide-eyed with curiosity as the train made its way out of London, faces pressed to the windows of the compartment as soot-blackened buildings gave way to scattered villages and then rolling countryside, swathed in white blankets of snow. Belle and Alice started a game with them, asking them to point out churches along the route, but after awhile they grew bored, and sat back against the cushioned seats. The Professor produced a bag of toffees, which kept them quiet for long enough that Belle and Alice could share a brief conversation about Furton Grange, and the gardens there.

“I suspect there’ll be far less to see at this time of year, of course,” said Belle. “Although Lady Ella always did enjoy the Christmas celebrations. She always had a very large Christmas tree in the hall, and kept it up until Twelfth Night.”

“I bet her Christmas tree isn’t as pretty as ours,” said Ava stoutly.

“Well don’t tell her that,” remarked Ogilvy, from behind his newspaper.

“Miss Belle says we should always speak the truth,” said Ava, and he let the top half of the newspaper fold over, glancing at her over the rim of his glasses.

“And Miss Belle is quite correct,” he said. “Although if it comes to a choice between telling the truth and protecting someone’s feelings, sometimes it’s best to remain silent.”

“I can’t deny that,” said Belle, when the twins turned their gaze to her. “One should always aim to be kind where one can, of course.”

“What if someone’s nasty?” asked Nicholas. “Do you tell ‘em they’re nasty because it’s honest, or do you say nothing because that’s the nice thing to do? How will they know they’re nasty if you don’t tell ‘em?”

“I’m afraid I don’t have an answer to that,” said Belle. “Perhaps if it’s something they can change, it’s appropriate to say something.”

“Oh!” said Ava, with a look of understanding. “So it would be mean to tell old Bartholomew he’s got a big nose, because he can’t change that. But it’s alright to tell him he smells, because he can go and have a wash, can’t he?”

There was a snort of amusement from the Professor, which he turned into a cough. Belle closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them Ogilvy was watching her with a twinkle in his eyes.

“I think perhaps there are more tactful ways to speak to people,” she said. “We can move onto that sort of thing after you’ve worked on your letters.”

“We can spell ‘shit’, Mr Ogilvy,” announced Ava helpfully, and Belle wanted to put her head in her hands.

“That sounds a bit like your vocabulary at their age,” remarked the Professor, and Ogilvy grinned.

“Well, I improved vastly with time and patience,” he said. “I have every faith in Miss Marchland’s abilities, as well as Ava and Nicholas’s.”

He turned back to his paper, and Belle shared a brief, pained look with Alice.

x

They had to change trains at Derby, taking the branch line to Matlock. Lady Ella was to send a carriage to meet them, and looking out of the train window, Belle hoped they would not have to wait too long. The snow was falling again, thick white flakes drifting down as the sky darkened. By the time they had alighted from the train, the twins tired and fractious, it was fully dark, but Belle was relieved to see Hatter already conversing with a tall man in a black greatcoat, beside a large black carriage. The man bowed solemnly to them, and opened the door to the carriage.

Belle well remembered the journey from the station to Furton Grange, a jolting, winding ride of thirty minutes or so. She and Alice held the twins on their laps, bracing against one another to avoid being thrown around, and Ogilvy and the Professor held tight to the leather straps at the side of the carriage, their walking canes wedged against the opposite seats to keep their balance. Belle whispered in Nicholas’s ear as they turned the final corner, the dark mass of Furton Grange lit up from within, sending sharp wedges of warm light out across the smooth carpet of snow.

It was a fine house, two hundred years old, the sweeping driveway providing a welcome break from the rutted road leading to it, and Belle could see servants hurrying from the house to greet them. Lady Ella appeared as they were being led up the wide steps, dressed in ivory silk and with a fur stole draped around her thin shoulders to keep out the winter cold.

“My darlings!” she drawled, swooping in to press a kiss to Ogilvy’s cheek. “How wonderful to see you! Do come in and warm yourselves. There’s barely time to change before dinner!”

#fic: homecoming #ogilvelle fic #ogilvelle #my fic

[userseokkie]

Steve Rogers is a walking contradiction: the anti military soldier

After reading this meta on a gifset about Steve and Tony i got carried away and wrote essentially an essay about the analysis that had been made. and while i agree with the general sentiment of the post, some things didn’t sit right with me. btw i decided to make this my own separate post because this isn’t intended to start an argument or derail the original post, i know it can be annoying for gif makers to have dozens of comments added onto their posts.

(the meta in question)

ok so full disclaimer I’m not American and I’m not white. i just felt like this analysis was really interesting and when I read it I couldn’t stop all these thoughts that formed in my head, next thing I know I had written all of this in like 30 minutes. I’m not trying to argue or start shit, this is my own personal analysis of Steve’s character and why I don’t agree with some things said above.

First of all, let’s get this out of the way: Steve does not trust the US government. at least not blindly. the fact that he’s still the little shit that had a real problem w authority figures is something they touch upon on catfa a lot. he changed on the outside but on the inside he’s still that idiot punk kid and like, I get what the tags above me are saying but also Steve’s arc is more than that? and let’s not forget this stupid movie was written and directed by thanos Joss “I’m the true feminist ally” whedon so I would take this exchange with a grain of salt. I mean this is the movie that gave us “gOllY tHeRe’S OnLy oNe gOd m'Am” and “sOn oF a GuN” Stephen Rogers which is the most ooc thing I’ve seen since endgame’s Steve. Steve is a fucking potty mouth ffs he’s Irish and a soldier, so that doesn’t even make sense. but anyway, my point is something else, nvm this movie’s portrayal of Steve in general.

I guess we could probably argue all day long abt which Steve portrayal is the most accurate one since his character in the MCU is the one that’s suffered the most at the hands of inconsistent characterization, but I prefer thinking he already WAS someone that was well aware of the horrors of war and how unfair it was to recruit people w lies and the promises of education opportunities and loans for the poor to join the army, because he LIVED that he grew up dirt poor and had to see his mom take on three different jobs to support herself and him, so he’d consider this attempt to bring civilians into the military life by preying on their needs disgusting, he’d be fucking seething with anger. and if he had lived through the 60s (which I think it’s better for everyone involved that he didn’t, can u imagine poor guy would’ve died from the disappointment in what his country had become) I highly doubt he would’ve been the bitter WWII vet that defended Vietnam and shit on the protestors……. Steve would support the citizens’ rights to ask for accountability and demand justice!! even the hippie movement I think he would’ve been ok with when he saw that they were advocating FOR PEACE. that’s why he enlisted on the war after all, to bring the fight to an end and to have Bucky come HOME. I think Steve rogers would be all for peace. I mean, civil disobedience and telling the government to shove it? that’s Steve Rogers’ goddamn ethos. he would be all over that shit.

I agree w op’s tags where they say Steve doesn’t represent America, he represents what America wishes it had been. and I think Steve himself would be well aware he’s the anomaly here, the one that should have been America’s highest ideal. and I think that makes Steve very wary of his own image, anything he endorses becomes what America endorses. Steve rogers isn’t important, Captain America is. but I think Steve’s response here has more to do with his coping mechanisms to deal with loss, rather than coming from a place of “oh we’re soldiers, it’s what we do, we die for our country.” while Tony’s response comes from a place of anger (we are NOT soldiers!!! fuck u old man, i never asked for this!!! coulson didn’t ask for this!!!!!) Steve’s reaction comes from the intrinsic nihilism and dadaism product of his own time. it’s not that he’s minimizing Coulson’s death, it’s more that he’s so used to losing people, the thousands he met that died in European soil, the sick and ill from his ma’s work that died everyday, his own father whom he never even met, that his mechanism is to just. shut down. shrug it off a bit, even. people die. every day. “for believing” means for standing for something, because Steve is WELL aware that people that stand for nothing will fall for anything, and standing for something gives counterbalance to the official agenda. in his eyes, Coulson died not because he’s a soldier and winning the war means being prepared to make a few sacrifices. Coulson died because he chose to believe in something that the majority didn’t care about or even actively sought to destroy (the wsc over fury’s shoulder) and he died because he would not back down from the fight. I can do this all day is something Steve feeds off of because he knows that when you stop getting up from the ground, anyone and anything can strike you down.

but on another note, I get that Avengers happens literally 6 fucking days after he woke up from the ice, he probably had no time to catch up on all the atrocities the US had done on his behalf, or rather on what they said he represented, on the ideal he died defending and the US took and twisted and tore apart until it was no longer recognizable. Steve being a week out of the ice is super sad and to me, the biggest crime this movie did was literally brushing off Steve’s trauma, being riddled with PTSD and shocked from waking up seventy years in the future was not even addressed. at all. this could’ve been easily avoided by setting the movie at least a couple of months AFTER he wakes up. but whatever. After learning of all the shit the US has done, I think Steve rogers would be the first to walk out of there and be like “fuck it, I died for this country and you took it and fucked it up and now young people and people who’ve been killed for protesting your shitty ass decisions genuinely believe I would side with the government. they think I’M the stubborn baby boomer who kisses government boots and would approve of the Gulf War or the Vietnam War or the Central American coups or the war on terror or any of the stupid shit you’ve pulled in the 70 years I was gone!!! YOU MADE ME A SYMBOL FOR YOUR BIGOTRY WHAT THE FUCK”. so he obviously needs time to catch up on all of that before realizing how bad they fucked up his memory and how corrupt the system has become. but Steve’s depiction as a boy scout who believes the US can do nothing bad is inherently wrong and something only this one movie tries to do. no other movie featuring Cap tries to drive the point home that Cap is a goodie two shoes who still believes in american exceptionalism.

CATWS was the gold standard because it truly touched upon the cognitive dissonance Steve experiences coming out of a 70 year nap. the loss he experiences not only for being “the man out of time”, but the true man behind the symbol. heavy are the shoulders that carry the world indeed. and he’s been carrying the entire world on his since he decided to become Captain America. I truly believe the tragedy of Steve Rogers comes from the lack of agency he has over the Captain image, one that has been used to prop up political agendas over and over again. of course, he’s the one that decides to be Captain America as much as he is Steve rogers, blurring the lines between the two men. he could’ve retired, he could’ve adopted a new mantle or even go the old reliable route and try to keep a civilian life away from the superhero gig. but he didn’t. even in the comics whenever he tried to do that it didn’t stick for more than a few issues. so, you know in CATWS he truly experiments what it’s like to pull back the curtain and see the wizard behind it, he faces this disenchantment with the institutions that created him, both SHIELD and the US government. this helps pinpoint the moment he grows super distrustful of politics and agendas, because up until this point he’d only been in the battlefield, and he realizes governments cannot be trusted to make the right decision or even act in benefit of their people.

this way, Civil War does make sense when you see how Steve has grown so disappointed with modern politics that he sees the Sokovia accords as one big red flag, and the first step in a direction that only points toward authoritarianism and civil control. this movie deals with many things poorly of course, but one thing that doesn’t feel ooc is Steve telling the UN to fuck off. He wasn’t around to see the formation of the united nations remember? he literally has no background on what collective security and globalized autonomy are. there’s many things that could’ve been different in CW, but Steve was on the “right” side of the conflict for his character. (i’m NOT saying there’s a wrong and a right side on the Civil war dilemma. that whole thing was badly written so let’s just say it made sense in a hypothetical way). supporting the government in any capacity isn’t a part of Steve’s “thing”, but even when/if he sided with the US govt, he’d never endorse a political agenda that he perceives as “wrong”, knowing it’s hypocritical to do so. 

he doesn’t think the end justify the means, which is highly different from Tony’s pragmatism. if Steve and Tony represented opposing philosophical movements, Tony would be utilitarianism and Steve would be deontology. this brings the analysis full circle by pointing out that yes, Tony and Steve operate differently in theory, but in practice they both work for the same objective. Tony is the cynic product of his own doing, he understands how war can destroy and he knows the US has a bad track record of owning up to its own shit. and because of that, he believes that the most good he can do is in his own hands (and because of his extremist way of thinking, he also equates that with being the only one who can do it and therefore, he must, no matter the personal cost). On the other hand, Steve is the idealist product of other’s people efforts, he understands how sometimes war can be the only way to save what is worth saving, but also how it can corrupt even the noblest of men. and because of that, he believes that the most good he can do must be done because other people believe in him, and because by setting the example, others can follow and make the world a better place. (and because of his very stubborn nature, he also equates that with being the ‘tree that must plant itself in the ground and say no, you move’.)

so what I guess I’m trying to say, is that to me at least, saying that Steve Rogers would be in favor of US militarism or that he equates the word “soldier” with hero is a huge disservice to his character. the fact that he’s a fictional character that was first conceived as WWII propaganda is not relevant, because I choose to believe the idea that says fiction stops being the creator’s own the moment it’s out in the world. And Steve Rogers NOW is a different character and serves a different purpose than what he was originally intended to. His entire origin is based on being a soldier, yes, but what makes his character so compelling is the juxtaposition between being a soldier and being essentially opposed to what the US military complex entails. he embodies a lot of american values ofc, like freedom and right of free speech and so, but my take is that he defends this values in a way that is distinctly non American. setting aside discussions of propaganda and the integrity of an art form, i think he’s been written in a way that evokes patriotism without being exclusively american. i mean heck, Steve rogers makes me proud to be from my own country, and inspires me to be better while never reminding me of the fact that he’s from an imperialist super power. Star spangled suit aside, he’s probably a fair enough representation of what one's love for their own country can bring to the surface, no matter which country specifically. i could delve more into that, but this is already getting too long and, since i already mentioned, I’m not from the US and my cultural upbringing is far different from the US. so i’m not sure i could make such a poignant analysis about the military culture and the way it impacts characters such as Steve. 

#why tf did i write this #full disclosure i took two adderalls today oop #maybe that's why #steve rogers #marvel meta #mcu #marvel #captain america

[spookysshadow]

Jonathan Morgenstern META

Jonathan’s death scene had me fucked up.

Like, I’m not gonna lie, I haven’t seen much of the show since they cancelled it. Half of me just wasn’t interested anymore, the other half was tired of the fandom always bickering, but fuck it, Jonathan dying had me in tears.

I only caught a glimpse of a gifset of his death with Clary and all. I hadn’t even realized the finale had aired. But on my dash there it was, Jonathan being killed in the arms of Clary.

And it made me really think about how tragic of a character he is. Don’t get me wrong he’s caused a lot of damage, physically and psychologically to a lot of people. He’s the bad guy, for sure. But he’s not the same brand of bad guy Valentine was, ya know.

Valentine to me was the kind of guy who knew better, he was aware that what he was doing was wrong and fucked up, but he did it anyway because he believed his way was better after all. Much like racists do, they are aware racism is fucked, they know they are shitty,. But they do it anyway.

Jonathan wasn’t that. Jonathan was very much the product years of brainwashing, abuse and neglect. For Jonathan there was never a right ot a wrong, it was just the way his father taught. This is a boy who grew up in complete isolation from others. Who developed his ideas of the world from whatever his father told him or beat into him, including the fact that he was an abomination. Then, his pre-teens to late teens were spent in another version of Hell, where he was physically, psychologically, and sexually abused. This further warping his state of mind.

Jonathan didn’t learn to view the world through the eyes of a man who has developed his own rational and critical thinking skills. He learned to view the world through a series of very poignant signals, through obedience for survival, that the most important thing is to make it out with as little injury as possible, He reminds me more of a person who had suffered so many tragedies at a young age, growing up, that because of the trauma and the resulting mental illness and fear, never ends up making the right decisions.

And what really hurts me about this character, at least from the show’s perspective is that we see his hope for a better life slowly diminish. There is a part where we kind of hope he becomes good. And slowly the decisions he makes aren’t great, and they lead him closer and closer to the tipping point.

That tipping point, at least from my view, is when he allows Valentine to live. Up until then he can still be the Jonathan that everyone wanted. Even the killing of Sebastian was still something that could have been covered up or reworked to his advantage. But the minute he allows Valentine a chance, he can’t take it back.

And even at that point it’s hard to blame him. Jonathan has ample amount of reasons and experiences that tell him he should not trust his father. But in the moment, with Valentine holding the sword and expertly saying words that make Jonathan feel like maybe this time his dad will look at him and see him, Jonathan believes him. Its, for me, the same hope a child holds out when their parents say everything is going to be alright, even though you can see it’s not. Mommy and daddy aren’t separating. Daddy won’t hit you again. Mommy will stop drinking, I promise sweetie. These small promises that are false, so obviously false, but it;’s so much nicer to believe that they’re true. So you do. And that’s what he did.

It’s that childish longing and hope for a father that turns crushes any hope of him being redeemable.

Every decision there after is a conscious decision, a purposefully evil decision. It’s no longer, I don’t know how to navigate the world, violence and blood is all I know. It’s I have a goal in mind and I will purposefully hurt and kill in order to achieve.

He becomes such a horrendous person that the only way to stop him is death. It’s what he’s earned after everyone and everything he’s destroyed and hurt.

But I can’t stop thinking about how this, what twenty, twenty-one year old man, a boy really but the way he acts, spent so much of is life in pain and agony. Just excruciating misery, marred with neglect and torture of all kinds. And his one reprieve from all the pain was his sister, regardless of how fucked his version of sibling love was, Clary was still that brightest star in his sky. And the fact he died essentially by her and in her arms, is to me one of the most heartbreaking things ever.

Everytime I think about him I just imagine this boy trapped in a glass box, shouting and screaming at the top of his lungs even though it doesn’t make a sound. His hands pounding at the glass, trying to get anyone to notice him and his pain. Mom. Dad. Lilith, Anyone. By the time he gets to Clary it’s too late and it’s not Clary’s job to save him. That should have been an adult who gave a shit, not a younger sister. But it’s still so heartbreaking to imagine the boy in the glass case slowly stop pounding on his prison walls. Sliding down to sit on the floor and just watch all these people walk around him, not one of them taking notice.

The fact of the matter is that boy could have been Jace. He could have been Magnus.

Had Jace not had Alec, had Magnus not had Ragnor. Who would they have been? I can’t say. What I can say is that they got lucky. They has someone who showed them that their was better.

Jonathan never had anyone in his corner. Not his parents, not friends, no one. And the brevity of Clary being in his corner was much too little too late. He was absolutely, without a doubt alone and he died the same. No one mourns the wicked.

It just reminds me of so many people who grow up with no one in their corner and this constant echoing of you have to be better than your circumstances, like fuck you. Sure, in a perfect world everyone with the worst circumstance would find inner strength and manage to overcome, but that isn’t the average. Sometimes the waves keep crashing and you try to reach out, hold on, wade the storm, but its too much. The current pulls you under and you don’t ever emerge. Some people get pulled under and get brought out, others drown and no one notices, ever.

Jonathan was a villain, yes without a doubt. He did heinous acts, he hurt so many people. But I won’t clap for his death, I can’t.

#jonathan morgenstern #sebastian morgenstern #sh finale #deadass i was in tears over this boi..

[azoraahai]

I LOVE U SO MUCH. WOW. I'M LIKE, she missed me??? like what the heck??? okay, okay. so, abel is the first andromeda's love and thor is spinning around them? like, what is her position? he realizes of her feeling for her? and andromeda, the gifset shows me that she wants to go home, but she can't. 👀 of course, just tell me what you can tell me.

yes of course i fucking missed you!!! you have been super supportive of me every single time you come back to tumblr and you just so incredibly sweet and kind!!! like im not even kidding, im so happy you’re back and hopefully okay!

alright, so, abel was andromeda’s first, epic love. he wasn’t born royal or anything, but andromeda didn’t care and they loved each other very much like it breaks my heart. prior to act one, there was a battle and abel died protecting andromeda. and let me just say, it’s the most heartbreaking thing ever like why did i do this to her? anyways, his death made her kinda separate herself from falling in love again because she’s too scared to suffer the same fate as before. then, her “relationship” with thor happens. honestly, it was more revolved around sex rather than love on her part because, again, she doesn’t want to fall in love.

thor, on the other hand, does not know about abel, his death, or that andromeda’s feelings aren’t mutual. not saying that she didn’t love thor, she really did, but she couldn’t admit it to herself if that makes sense. so every time he tries and talk to andromeda about more intimate and personal things bc we all know how big of a softy thor is, she skirts away figuratively and literally since she wants to protect her really fragile heart. and, of course, it causes some problems lol.

so around act one, andromeda and her family were returning back to their planet and long story short, their spaceship gets hit by an asteroid and andromeda falls out and lands in sakaar. brunnhilde aka valkyrie saves her from almost dying one too many times from being out there on her own, and so her and andromeda grow close. but to answer your question, andromeda wants to return home from sakaar as soon as she lands there, but obviously, no one escapes sakaar until thor3 happens lol

#asks #andromeda asks #otp: will always find my way back to you #otp: if only we had more time #thank u so much!!! #dvescmrn #oc asks

[angel-with-a-pipette]

Chapter IV: Toy Box

I remember starting Toy Box and thinking - 

Huh?? Since when are ads included on Video Game Blurays? Is this a thing? Did I miss this? What is happening??

Well, I understood what what happening once I saw “Verum Rex” flash across the screen, but boy, did I underestimate the extend of it...like probably all of us.

But back to Toy Box. I am actually surprised how genuinely I started liking the characters xD I went to watch Toy Story 1 and 2 the MONDAY before the game released. I just never liked the still clunky animation/visuals and KH3 is doing such an amazing job omg. Not to mention the music - ah. I was blessed enough to listen to “You got a friend in me” during the Encore tour of the Orchestra last year and I can’t help but sway along when I listen to it in game ♥

Anyway, Rex is my new fave for loving Sora so much XDD but how can you not? Look at this sunshine boy:

This should have been a hidden Mickey. Just saying. THAT would have been kind of cool.

“They arrived with a guy wearing a hood, dressed in black, just like you.”

Oh Buzz, I remember the hype these words set free during D23. Young Xehanort and Sora, dressed similarly? Both in black?? Foreshadowing? I wish. Makes me wonder what all the Soranort foreshadowing was about. False leads? At least tempt the boy properly if you’re too chicken to go through with it :/

“I wonder how you’ll handle the strain.” “Don’t let me down.”

I swear to God we had A+ Soranort/Dark Sora build up right here. I genuinely wonder what happened, if Nomura decided “lol nah” or might save it for the future... or if Disney was ultimately against it... but dang, come on. I know now that the rest of his speech was just supposed to foreshadow the Replica program (the inclusion of which is actually pretty nifty and I think that helped round out the initial DDD idea a lot!), but still... so. much. wasted. potential. UGH.

AAAAAAAAAAAH. But the scene where Donald makes fun of Sora and then they start chasing each other around? BLESSED. Donald wags his butt at Sora, slips under his legs away to avoid him, it’s so pure, so sweet, gosh, I think I squealed. Yes Buzz, the three of them are the best, they aren’t bad at all 😭

The record player scene was such a nice addition, too :3 I already knew about it from TGS footage I believe, but hearing Sora’s theme in the game at this moment was still such a treat, especially once you rescued one of the little soldiers and you could listen to it whenever you wanted in its full glory. Kinda would have been nice if it had looped into other themes, too, but I don’t want to nitpick, I loved this way too much :3

Before I forget, can I praise Ben’s voice acting here? He was kind of flat in DDD, but damn, did he slay me in KH3. Bless, I genuinely hope we’ll get a Xehanort/Eraqus spin-off or get to see them maybe in flashbacks or something in the future games, it would be a shame to let go of Ben this early!

But damn, the amount of actual violence Sora suffers through made my heart heavy. I gasped when Xehanort grasped him by the hand, dangling him in the air, blasting him into Verum Rex? This scene was so intense. The entire game had scenes where I felt on the edge of my seat, continuously clasping my hands in front of my mouth, too scared that I might start screaming (which I did at the endgame but shhh)

“Find the hearts joined to yours.”

Again...I can’t tell if that is some (maybe wishful from my side) late Soranort remnant or trying to tease Xion’s return? I don’t know... it doesn’t make sense whatsoever for Xehanort to push Sora to get more Guardians of light? Maybe I should consult the Journal, but I am only in theater mode right now so eh.

Now I don’t wanna delve into the bossfight too much because there are tons of posts and gifsets about it already, but damn. That was the sickest roast in the history of Disney. I want more of this in the future games. DAMN the Disney was spot on! Donald calls Xehanort a big chicken, too, I can’t 🤣

Something more general to conclude this wall of text: The world itself is filled with so many details, wow, I can’t believe it. The rails you use to access the higher levels, the many game stands, the mechas (although i am not too fond of the mechanics because I usually end up dying too far away from the next mecha and then die for real XD), the unlockable chest. When I saw that the little screws in the vents could be kicked just like the Herc and Phil statues in Olympus could be - wow!! Also only later I realized how fighting with the mechas can clear entire game stands, too, making the games and figures disappear. That is SO cool!!

And our social media posts, too!

#KH3 spoilers #KH3 playthrough

[sharkiegorath]

On Elias

[this is the third (3rd) time I’ve tried posting this since Tumblr’s mobile search/tag search keeps eating the post. because it’s perfectly fine with showing untagged personal posts and spam whenever you search for something, but randomly decides when to show Actual Content]

ok look I know people don’t always read the OP’s tags but I keep getting “I’M SURE HE’S EVIL” comments on a pair of gifsets with fairly obviously positive parallels and reblogging something just to definitively say “that mysterious character is eviiiiiiil” is Not Cool, even if it’s in the tags.

Yes, recent commentator, Elias definitely broke into the house. It's probably why he suggested that the Johnsons go out in the first place! But the common assumption is A) that he planted the books and B) that he did so for a malicious reason. It seems as obvious as it could possibly be while remaining unconfirmed. It seems so obvious in such a twisty show that I think it isn’t that straightforward.

Gosh, where to begin? Firstly, names and etymology are pretty good theory fodder and Easter eggs, e.g., ‘Hap’=haphephobia and all its ‘hap’-prefixed variants; ‘Khatun’ is both an old title of nobility and a modern word referring to any woman. 'Rahim' means ‘merciful’ or 'servant of the merciful'. 'Elias' is a cognate of 'Elijah'. Elijah was the Abrahamic prophet who sort of had a special connection with women and children; who was cared for by an angel; who resurrected the dead; who entered Heaven without dying at the end of his earthly life; who is sometimes believed to have become an angel. All of this information is available on Wikipedia! So even if Elias did plant the books, I don’t automatically assume he’s malicious.

There’s this interesting bit in an interview with The Atlantic:

Marling: [...] I think one of the original stories that was influential actually comes from Jewish mysticism. Do you know it?

Kornhaber: Is this leaving the door open for Elijah at Passover?

Marling: Yeah. It’s so beautiful. I think it’s amazing to try and use that as a reminder of trying to stay open. I struggle with that all the time. You get scared and you close the door. But I think The OA, she’s inviting them to let a new thing in.

(Principal Gilchrist's first name is another cognate of Elijah - 'Ellis' - and his surname means 'servant of Christ'. People have made the connection between Ellis and his "water under the bridge" comment to Ellis Island and the nearby Statue of Liberty, plus he has a snow globe of the latter.)

Elias’ potential connection with an ‘evil’ Rachel was probably debunked early by Zal Batmanglij on Twitter: the plants in her cell died because she refuses to water them as an act of rebellion. I'm too lazy to go through the whole thing about why her name being on the office wall in large Braille doesn't automatically mean she works there in the first place. I think she and Elias are connected (because of his car crash analogy and the “[My brother] never got to hear it”/”I’m a listener” lines), but I doubt it’s as evil agents.

Elias is shocked and defensive when he bumps into French in the house - but the scene follows French, so of course we aren't shocked and suspicious about French’s presence. Basically, the audience has had the same reaction to Elias breaking in as Elias initially has to French breaking in. Part of what makes Elias seem suspicious is his reaction. IMO Elias doesn't even imply or confirm that the OA was lying  - he just doesn't correct French. The other 'suspicious' thing he does is...move his eyes while hugging French, which isn’t incriminating on its own since the emotion is ambiguous.

There's confusing reasoning behind why Elias would place the books in the first place. The books seem tailored to match major aspects of the OA's story. The immediate assumption is that if someone planted the books, they meant for the Crestwood Five to find them and conclude that she based lies upon them. But if that's the case, Elias likely had no way of knowing that French would break in, go to her room, thoroughly search her room, and look where he did. There was no guarantee that any of the Five would find the books, jump to the conclusion that OA was lying, then share the discovery with the others.

Alternatively, you could argue that Elias planted the books intending for someone else to find them during an investigation and use it as proof that OA was making up stories, and the Five would fall for it in the process. But in that case, why did he let French leave with all of the books? And remember, Buck kept one and the rest let him. It’s possible that they submitted the other books to the FBI offscreen, or that Elias replaced the books. But I’ve never seen the theory cover what happened to the books after the reveal, so I won’t play with that hypothetical situation here.

Maybe Elias planted the books for someone else to find and didn’t know French took them. After all, we don't know what happened after the hug. But that introduces a new set of logical problems. How would French sneak a big, heavy box out of the house? He could take it if Elias had already left or wasn’t watching him...but why would Elias leave French unsupervised? Does anyone think that Elias ensured French left, then French broke in again not long afterwards and took the books, all offscreen? And couldn’t his presumably nearby car be a potential giveaway?

So, the books don't make much sense as an attempt to disillusion the Five. Some people think French's reaction stretches audience suspension of disbelief, right - I think it's an even bigger stretch that the FBI would predict a break-in and his reaction. To a lesser extent, the books also don't make sense as an attempt to frame OA, because they end up with the boys and don’t seem to play a role beyond breaking their faith. As for how French took the books while Elias was there, Elias advocates strategic passivity and avoids direct persuasion; I don't find it outlandish that French would say something like "I need to show proof to the others" then take the box, and Elias wouldn’t protest because it's not part of his agenda either way.

The next most obvious explanation for the books is if they really are OA’s. They weren’t necessarily used to construct a lie.  

In the previous episode, OA had a conversation with BBA about how cultures that suffer more loss tend to have more totems. OA knew this because of an exhibit that she loved so much as a child that she made her parents take her back twice. It made a lasting impact on her, as evidenced by the wolf hoodie that reminds her of Homer’s. BBA is not with the boys when French reveals the books, so she doesn't even have the chance to recall that conversation. We don’t know if BBA learned about the books after the boys did. And the books were specifically stored beneath the wolf hoodie. The Five may not be aware of the hoodie’s significance; Elias wouldn’t know the hoodie’s significance unless OA wore it to a session and he asked why she has a hoodie with a wolf on it, or she spontaneously told him, both of which seem a bit far-fetched. (Onscreen, at least, she never wore it to a therapy session.)

Ehh, miscellaneous notes:

It’s uncertain that OA can read English text. But the conversation with BBA says that the Thing Itself isn't as important as what it symbolises. (“Objects carry meaning in difficult times.”) She doesn't need to be able to read the books in order for them to mean something. Anyway, she might’ve been bilingual from a young age; she was 7 or 8 when she went blind and she seems fluent in English by the time we see her in the American boarding school. (There might be proof that she can write in English, since she signed the bottom of the note she left for her parents? It’s been interpreted both ways so idk.)

The Five getting discovered in the abandoned house probably wasn’t set up by Elias. BBA had previously slipped and told Principal Gilchrist about it while driving to save Steve.

I don’t strongly rule it out, but I don’t think Elias spied on the Five, because he only realises who French is when he tells him his name. Unless he’s pretending.

Why were the books under OA’s bed, under the hoodie? Maybe she hid her totems in case her parents found them, since Nancy already thought she had delusions that could easily be linked to The Oligarchs and The Iliad. It’s unclear to me, but there might be a moment in the first episode where OA shoves the video camera under her bed (starts at 29:15-ish), foreshadowing that she might’ve done the same thing with the books later.

The issues I have with my own theory are:

According to the label on the Amazon box, the books were delivered in September. That's at odds with how OA's video was posted in February 2016. But the FBI (or another organisation) ordering the books also doesn't make sense: they would’ve been planning to discredit her months before she returned or assembled the Five or told her story. Even if they knew about the experiments, Hap dumping OA on the road in February seemed entirely spontaneous; that itself was the result of a seemingly random event (getting caught by the sheriff). More importantly, I’d question why the boys didn't notice the discrepancy in dates, and why the FBI didn't realise it themselves. (Like, all they had to do was remove the label or use a different box.) How can they predict a very specific chain of events yet not be smart enough to remove a label? It’s not impossible in the broader scope of the story - maybe they have reality-warping powers, maybe there’s time travel involved - but right now it’s a big stretch just to support the basic theory that Elias planted the books. So I suspect the label is a minor production oversight. Considering exactly how briefly the date is onscreen and difficult to read even when the scene is paused, I think it wasn’t meant to be read by the audience. (Compare the length of the date’s visibility and its readability to earlier in the scene, when French looks at the newspaper clippings, or whenever a phone/computer screen takes up the frame.)

How did OA order the books? The hardest part is how she went online, but she could’ve placed the order sometime in the first episode before the router was taken away. It’s possible to order things from Amazon without a credit card and have them sent to a pickup point or post office, so that’s not a big issue if she had money somewhere (or stole it from her parents, which is 100% in-character for her). Sneaking the package into the house is another problem - but, then again, she’s cunning and her room is conveniently located so things can fairly easily go in/out of her window.

Elias suggested that the Johnsons go out for a family dinner. That somewhat complicates the timeframe he would’ve had for breaking in; if the outing had gone 'normally' they would've returned home before it was very late, yet still at an unpredictable time. (Again, he probably had no way of knowing they’d choose French's workplace, that it’d go badly, etc.) He was unable to break into the Johnsons' home on the night the OA finished her story, which is why he broke in later on, when French did. I guess Nancy and Abel went home after the incident at the Olive Garden and Elias saw the house was occupied, so he waited, and luckily for him they left the next day?

I’m not sure whether Elias lies when French asks if OA told him about Homer, the mine, and Hap’s studies. She told Elias specifics about the first and third premonitions, but it’s unclear how much she explained the second, Homer wasn’t mentioned by name onscreen, and we don’t know if she talked about the movements and angels. It’s worth noting that right after their last session, Elias does lie. OA explained her dreams, including the previous night’s. Afterwards, Nancy assumes Elias knows what happened last night...but he says no, seemingly to see how Nancy explains it. He’s capable of minor lies to Learn Things for ambiguous reasons. (Does he lie to Nancy for OA’s benefit? Or is it because he doesn’t trust OA, or is it simply an effort to hear different sides? I think the tone of the scene suggests he’s trying to help OA, but you might think it’s deliberately misleading. Anyway, they’re not all mutually exclusive motives.)

If the books really were OA’s, what was her reaction when she returned home and they were missing? She probably wouldn't tell her parents. But what would she think happened? Possibly she might be able to put two and two together since she’d previously helped Steve sneak into her room. Maybe she doesn’t seem sad right before the shooting because she deduced that the Five wanted to help her, and she didn’t know that the boys concluded she was lying.

We might be able to get general sense of where The OA is headed by examining Brit and Zal's previous work. Sound of My Voice is the most similar. One of the most common (and plausible) theories for SOMV is that Maggie was telling the truth and the 'FBI agent' wasn't actually an FBI agent. But there are other reused elements that were subverted: OA is much less intimidating and more personable than Maggie; the Five are inclined to believe her without being cult-like; the agent was trying to catch Maggie without her knowledge instead of possibly pretending to help her. I kinda hope it's a meta Red Herring planted for people who've watched both.

Elias was in the house for a reason. I think the video camera and all of the tapes might be a Chekhov's Gun. Brit Marling said something along the lines of "it’s worthy to question Elias’ motives"; he doesn’t necessarily have Good intentions. However, him planting the books isn’t a sure thing and we know nothing about whatever he did in the time gap before the shooting; there’s no indication that he helped or hindered OA in any way, if they’re still in contact, etc. So I think it’s a Bit Much to leap to "ELIAS IS EVIL" Not everyone who thinks he planted the books assumes he’s evil, which is nice. But it's Tiring seeing the evil accusation treated as if it's rare or a new theory, especially considering the depth of analysis that the rest of the show receives.

#elias rahim #the oa #oatheories #prairie johnson #oa #my oa theories #@ search function meet me in the pit you bitch #what are you doing? why are you so determined to smear elias' literally good name? #it's still not showing up??? i'm going to flip a table????

[sylvieons]

Fandom meme tagged by @nyx4 and @cleoselene xoxo which took me 90 years to finish but it’s HARD OKAY thinking is hard

A: Your current OTP. Jace/Alec from Shadowhunters. Apparently this makes me problematic but I don't care

B: A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind. This is hard because if I started watching a show because of someone they typically told me their ship ahead of time and then I was looking for it.  So I guess the closest I can come up with is that I lowkey ship Sephiroth/Genesis from Final Fantasy because of @nyx4 but I've never played the game

C: A pairing you wish you shipped, but just can't. Arthur/Merlin from Merlin.  Everyone always went so over the top with Merthur, and I shipped it for a few seconds but I never really liked Arthur so it was hard to care.

D: What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom? An X-Files fanfic uploaded to Gossamer titled, embarrassingly enough, "My Immortal" to which I attached my real name.  I was 14 or 15 and therefore very stupid. (I have since had this and another removed from the site, thankfully).  I also handed this fic into my English teacher to read.  Even more embarrassing.  The plot? Mulder loved Scully but he wanted to make sure that she loved him so he tried to make her jealous and when she did act jealous he was like "lol jk" and then I went into a lot of detail on a kiss they shared (THAT MY ENGLISH TEACHER READ) and then they got engaged and then they both got shot outside of Mulder's apartment for WHATEVER REASON and died.  Hence "My Immortal", because they'll be together in death.

E: Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what? Yes, and I shall find the post I made on Livejournal so I can bring you direct to the source.  It was for Legend of the Seeker, and I got the idea to Photoshop a fake Facebook post based on an episode (I forgot where I got the idea, if I saw it in another fandom or what).  Anyway the result was this:

https://imgur.com/Zo5Bi6x

It spun of control and spawned an actual Facebook RP which is where I met the two people who tagged me in this and AIN'T LIFE REALLY CRAZY SOMETIMES???

F: What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it? The X-Files. I got into it when I was around 11 or 12 and was a pretty active member until I was 17 or 18. Which doesn't seem very long, but to be heavily into it, I feel it was. And then I came back around to it when the revival was announced, so it's been an on and off relationship.

G: What was your first fandom? The X-Files, probably, in terms of content-creating.  Maybe if I'm counting things like "I pretended I was Xena a lot and I would call my friend on the phone and we’d talk about Xena" then maybe Xena: Warrior Princess

H: Do you prefer real-life TV shows or animated TV shows? Real-life, hands down. I hate animation.

I: Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? Lol what -hasn't- Tumblr caused me to hate?  Tho...you know what...I've never said it on this hellsite for fear of reprisal, but I'm going to do it. Tumblr turned me off Sansa Stark back in season 2 or so.  There was so many posts where people were so aggressive about unfollowing and hating people who didn't like Sansa and it got so irritating I started to dislike Sansa by association. So congrats, Tumblr, you played yourself. Also, this site turned me off The Musketeers around season 3. So much Aramis hate, kind of soured me since I watched the show for Santiago Cabrera. And then that association soured me on Santiago, so. Thanks.

J: Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr. I'm going to say Teen Wolf. It was all over the place when it was first airing and people either loved it or thought it was ridiculous so I started watching it finally and it was ridiculously great. But then they killed off Allison and ruined my life :)))))

K: How do you feel about the other people in your current fandom(s). I don't really know what my current fandoms are - I'm kind of really into Shadowhuters rn but not in a "making things" sort of way. Anyway, I have heard some very terrible things about this fandom so I am wary.

L: Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for? I don't read fanfic and I'm not into fanart so.

M: A person who got you into a fandom and what fandom they pulled you in to. @nyx4 again. Got me into watching Sons of Anarchy. I had tried previously and got about 10 minutes in and couldn't stand it but she said it got better so I powered through and then I was into it.

As for non-TV and movie stuff, @tsukinosusagis got me into a shitton of music and like he said a few days ago “Remember when Lights created our friendship??? ICONIC”

N: Your favorite fandom (for the people; not the thing you fangirl over). Legend of the Seeker on its Livejournal days, back in 2009 and 2010 were my favorite. Nothing on tumblr.hell is a good fandom. All of it should burn.

O: Choose a song at random, what ship does it remind you of? Lmao I'm really bad at this.  I suffer trying to pick songs for ships so idk

P: Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas). SHADOWHUNTERS PIRATE AU. Also, it's not an AU, but I have a very elaborate setup in my head for an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia where the gang is convinced the bar is haunted and the name of the ep is "Paddy's Pub: The Most Haunted Bar in Philadelphia"

Q: A ship you’ve abandoned and why. Cersei/Jaime because Jaime is a rapist. Also made me stop watching GOT because I was really mostly watching for Cersei and Jaime but I didn’t wanna see Jaime anymore so

R: A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships. Morgana/Lancelot from Merlin. I'm sure there's a lot in the actual Arthuriana stuff that people ship, but I'm just talking about the show. I was only able to find maybe 1 gifset and 2 fics about these two.  Granted, I only shipped them because SANTIAGO CABRERA AND KATIE MCGRATH so maybe nobody else cared.

S: What's a headcanon you have? I don't really have any of these.

T: What are your favorite male/male ships or female/female ships? Jace/Alec (Shadowhuters), Aramis/Porthos (The Musketeers), Red/Snow (Once Upon a Time), Rizzoli/Isles (Rizzoli & Isles), Eliot/Quentin (The Magicians), Penny/Quentin (The Magicians), Xena/Gabrielle (Xena), Mac/Dennis (It's Alway Sunny), Willow/Tara (BTVS)

U: What are your favorite male/female ships? Mulder/Scully (The X-Files), Cesare/Lucrezia (The Borgias), Richard/Nicci (Legend of the Seeker), Richard/Cara (Legend of the Seeker), Gemma/Tig (Sons of Anarchy), Mitchell/Annie (Being Human), Spike/Dru (BTVS), Jim/Pam (The Office), Jane/Michael (Jane the Virgin)

V: Do you have any 3-way ships? If so, what? Yeah, Darken Rahl/Cara/Dahlia from Legend of the Seeker. And it has to be a threeway, because any two of these characters together I don't ship but the 3 together? YES YES YES

W: 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms. Bo Dennis (Lost Girl) Ilithyia (Spartacus) Dana Scully (The X-Files) Quentin Coldwater (The Magicians) Gemma Teller (Sons of Anarchy)

X: 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms. Why would ya ask me this question when you asked for my favorite ships above, bro?

But I guess

Mulder/Scully (The X-Files) Richard/Nicci (Legend of the Seeker) Jim/Pam (The Office)

Y: A fandom you’re in but have no ships from. Most of them - like even if I do have a ship, it's pretty lowkey?  A lot of the above are lowkey.  But I'll say Black Sails. 

Z: What's a ship that you want to ship publicly, but everyone on tumblr hates it so you keep your mouth shut about it? Lol Jalec I guess? Like I'm saying it right now, but I'm not gonna go out there and go big with it because lots of annoying people out there.

#about meme

[softjeon]

Love Bite | Pt. 6

• Pairing: Vampire!Namjoon x Jimin • Genre: Angst / Smut | Vampire!AU ( → Gifset Trailer) • Words: 8,7k | Co-Writer: Cat @cassiavioletblue | AO3 • Disclaimer: blood, abuse, (sexual) violence, mindcontrol, mentioning of death

↳   “You’re right. I was lying. I didn’t want to scare you. But I guess there’s not much to do now, right? I’ll tell you the truth,” Namjoon spoke softly, the grip around Jimin’s wrists loosened a little but not enough to free himself, “…because you deserve it, because I pull you into a lot of shit right now just by being here. I am a vampire, Jimin.”

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Hoseok was humming a happy tune, leaning against the banister in the main hall of his mansion. He was waiting for Namjoon to arrive, as he sighed, gazing down at his watch again. “Honestly, what is taking him so long…,” The vampire king was mumbling to himself, while the guards at the door were just looking at him in confusion. Too scared to say something. In the distance, Hoseok could hear a car coming down the road. It sounded a lot like Namjoon’s. A smile appeared on his lips.

Coming home to Jimin’s apartment with the interior trashed could only be topped by finding a note, written in the softest color and with a smiley on top: I like you so i’ll help with your decision. If you want to get your lovely little surprise come meet me at the mansion.

For a whole minute he had wasted time just standing there, looking at the trashed interior that had been Jimin’s bedroom while there was no trace of the other. Jimin was gone. Dread crept all over his  body, followed by sickness that settled cold in his gut. He had wanted to talk to Hoseok. He really had. Why hadn’t he met up with him sooner? Why hadn’t he discussed alternative ways? Why hadn’t he... He tried to avoid to think about what might have happened to Jimin, what Hoseok might have done to him - or might be doing to him right now. While he stood there like an idiot.

Namjoon ran back to his car so quickly that he almost fell down the stairs. He didn’t believe in anything, but he still prayed while speeding up to Hoseoks. ‘Please don’t let Jimin be dead, please don’t let him be dead!’ The horribly thing was that even if he wasn’t dead there were still so many horrible things Hoseok could have done to him. The vampire king was quite a bit emotional when it got to disobedience. And with not sticking to Hoseoks ultimatum he had offended his king way more than he should have. Oh god, why hadn’t he done something, anything to keep Jimin safe? As soon as he had parked the car he jumped up, running past the guards without sparing them a glance and coming to a halt in front of Hoseok who was waiting for him.

Alone.

“Where is Jimin?” starting with Jimin when his attachment to him was Hoseok’s problem probably wasn’t the brightest so he quickly added, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I didn’t choose yet, there was another idea I had that I wanted to discuss with you first and so I…,”

“Shht, no more excuses.” Hoseok placed a finger on his lips and Namjoon shuddered, because Hoseok smiled. “Come with me, friend,” Hoseok said and hooked an arm under Namjoon’s as he lead him upstairs. “Do you remember when I told you years ago that you should live here? In the mansion with me? I always pity it that you didn’t say ‘yes’ to my offer. Sometimes I think living with all those humans surrounding you, it makes you…a little soft. Don’t you agree, Namjoon?” The vampire king sighed, as they stepped inside of his office. There were a few humans lined up, all staring into thin air and only when Hoseok turned towards them for a moment they smiled. “Can I offer you something to drink before we talk?”

Namjoon bit his lip hard. He would get to see Jimin only if Hoseok allowed it. So, asking for him would be futile or even make things worse. He would need to play along while hoping that Jimin was okay. He was thinking very carefully about how to answer next. He was really, really hungry. And incredibly weak. So, if he needed to protect Jimin against Hoseok he wouldn’t have a chance like this. He couldn’t see any cold blood around, so the offer of a drink was either just an empty phrase or a test. And Namjoon wouldn’t risk offending Hoseok even more as he’d already done. So, he swallowed harshly before answering. “What... what would you recommend?”

Hoseok gasped loudly, hitting himself on his forehead in an over dramatic way. “Oh my, how did I forgot that you only like this one human,” The vampire king exclaimed and ushered the hypnotized humans out of the room again. “That was so rude of me. I will find you something better,” He chuckled, obviously amused by himself, “How is he doing by the way? What was his name again? Chim…Chimmy? Jim?”

Namjoon didn’t give Hoseok the satisfaction to answer this so he just kept his head down, hoping that Hoseok would stop the torture and just tell him if Jimin was fine.

“Anyways, let’s get back to business, Namjoon,” His voice grew stern as the vampire walked up to the other. “There will be no choice this time. You will only follow my order and I have simply decided that you will live here now.”

Namjoon didn’t resist neither physically nor with words. He had always valued his freedom the most but right now with the rogues out maybe it wasn’t so bad living here and if he had a chance, just a slight little chance that obeying now would safe Jimin from whatever punishment Hoseok had thought of then he’d agree to anything the other was suggesting right now.

With a smile, Hoseok grabbed a hold of Namjoon’s arm and pulled him along and out the other door, “I made sure to give you a wonderful room in the best part of the mansion. It has a view all over the garden. You will love that. It’s right next to the library.” Walking down the hallway, they got greeted by a few vampires, but Hoseok was focused, not even sparing them a glance.

“Here you will be safe and it’s easier for you to get in touch with your vampire side again. It will be good for you,” He kept on talking, before suddenly halting, his grip tightening on Namjoon. He was sure that the other could smell Jimin soon. Could hear his fastened heartbeat. They were so close.

“There’s something I am forgetting,” Tipping his chin, Hoseok pretended to think about something, before he stated, “Oh! Of course. I completely forgot about Jimin! Such a sweet, sweet boy. Came here all the way to see you.” Hoseok cooed at Namjoon, patting his bottom a little and then he let go off him completely. “He’s such a cute little boy toy.”

Namjoon shuddered at his king’s words. The other was way too joyful for this reprimanding speech. So, there must be something else that Hoseok wasn’t telling him. But right now, he couldn’t focus on anything else but Jimin. “Is he still here?” He hated how weak his voice sounded, how pleading but he would have gladly got on his knees again if it meant keeping Jimin safe “Did you send him away or…?” Of course, he didn’t believe Hoseok one second but he wouldn’t push anything he just wanted to know where Jimin was, if he was okay, if he…

His body jerked violently when he caught a whiff of Jimin. Or more precisely: the smell of his blood. He knew that this was a possibility, that Hoseok would bring him here to kill him or get him so close to death that Namjoon would have no other choice but to turn him or end his suffering. Suddenly he was afraid to move, afraid what Hoseok would tell him. But he needed to know, he needed to know so badly. “He’s... he’s still, here isn’t he? And... and he’s fine.” His voice broke pathetically, “He’s alive, isn’t he? You kept him alive for me so that I won’t... that I can... please, just tell me if he’s alive!”

“Oh, right that’s what I have forgotten,” Hoseok threw his hands up, making Namjoon flinch from the sudden movement, as he felt so agitated, “Of course he is here, sweety. I told you he wanted to see you. You know the rules, right? Blood bags are fine from time to time, but you need a human to live here. He is your toy now.” He patted Namjoon’s shoulder and then turned around, “I’m sure you’ll find the way to your room from here.”

“Th… thank you, my king” As soon as Hoseok was gone he turned, running to where his senses lead him. Jimin was alive! Hoseok had told him to feed off Jimin ‘to live here’ which meant Jimin must be healthy and even though the younger was probably scared out of his mind right now maybe he could convince Jimin to stay this one night, just until everything had settled. He would make sure that Jimin would feel comfortable and then, tomorrow, he could bring him back and tell Hoseok that he would stay here but that Jimin would still come regularly to him and before Hoseok would notice that he didn’t actually feed from Jimin he would find another source of blood, maybe he would buy bags at the black market or... he would find a way, somehow. He would definitely make this okay. When he heard a human heart beating behind one of the doors, he knew he had found Jimin. His heart beat was strong and regular, maybe a little bit fast but this was a mansion full of vampires so of course Jimin would be a little nervous. Namjoon opened the door with a smile only for it to falter.

Jimin flinched violently when the door opened again, but only seconds after he could feel himself falling into the deep, dark pit again. He didn’t hear or see who it was, barely able to lift his head. His head pounding, his mind trying to fight against the last remains of the hypnotization. But he was just so weak. Tears rolled down his cheek, mixing with the dried blood as it run down his neck. He had tried to twist his hands, trying to loosen the restraints the second Hoseok was gone, but it only left him with bruises. His tears were overflowing when Jimin had been giving up. He had just closed his eyes, surrendering to whatever would come, the pain so much that he was starting to dissociate. He was only breathing lightly, whimpering in pain, when Namjoon found him.

“Oh... Oh god!” Namjoon covered his mouth in shock when he took in the scene in front of him. Jimin was alive - but he looked as if he wished he weren’t. He was naked, completely bare and so Namjoon had a clear view of the bruises on Jimin’s body. There was a necklace of fingerprints around his throat and some dried blood where angry fangs had broken his skin. Namjoon made a helpless little sound as he realized that his decision not to bite Jimin had only lead to more pain and horror for the younger. Jimin didn’t really see him, his eyes flickered through the room in panic while he restlessly moved against his restraints. If it weren’t so obvious that Jimin was splayed out like this against his will then it would have been a beautiful sight: Dark red silk against Jimin’s soft skin, his arms bound tightly to the lathed bedposts, the dark shiny wood highlighting the golden color of Jimin's skin. However, his wrists were raw and angrily red from how much Jimin had pulled on his restraints, his fingers pale and aching from the way the silk had tightened and cut off his blood flow. There were tears all over Jimin’s face. So many tears. He couldn’t fathom what Jimin must have been through, but it was obvious that the younger was in shock. While everything in his screamed to just run over and rip the restraints right off he wasn't sure if the open display of his vampire powers wouldn't just send Jimin further into this state of fear, so he stepped carefully closer before lowering himself slowly to sit on the bed besides Jimin. The smell of the dried blood was even stronger here, having his stomach revolt  and coil tight, somewhere caught in between hunger and anger of what Hoseok had done but he willed it down. He could take care of that later. Right now, the only thing important was to help Jimin.

“J..Jimin?” The younger hadn’t really reacted to him besides fearful little sounds and painful gasps whenever he tried to move his wrists out of the restraint, breaking the skin again and again. “Can you please…look at me? It’s me Jiminnie. I’m here to help you.” His smile wavered as his heart was breaking for the boy.

When he registered the familiar voice, it was almost like a switch that got turned on and just like Hoseok had ordered him to before he let him alone, Jimin turned his head around to Namjoon. He hissed, the pain from where the vampire king had bitten him, making it almost unbearable - but he managed. Forcing himself to smile through the tears, Jimin blinked his eyes open and the second his gaze fell onto Namjoon, he could feel his heart ache, but he pushed through it. Namjoon didn’t care about him. No other vampire did. He was a useless human. Bound to whatever game they were playing. Just a toy for them to play with. And he had to surrender to keep himself alive. Jimin opened his mouth slowly, but at first no words came out and he had to try again. “I...I am y-yours t-to c-claim.” He whimpered pathetically when he had finally said it, knowing what he had to do next. So very slowly, he tried to move his head, showing off the side of his neck that wasn’t bitten, yet. He let out a painful moan, when he spread his legs as well. His whole body shaking from the cold and the fear. He was displaying himself for Namjoon, just like Hoseok had ordered him to. Then his eyes fell shut again, as he was sobbing quietly.

Jimin's words ripped into him the same way Hoseok's fangs must have pierced Jimin’s flesh. Namjoon was mute from how much it hurt to see Jimin like this, broken, soullessly submissive, acting as if all his will was gone. “N...no, Jimin… that’s not... not what I’m here for. I’m not going to... I’d never…” He broke off trying to keep breathing while he wanted to scream out his feelings. What on earth had Hoseok done to him? “He’s... he must have hypnotized you, right? “ He tried to keep smiling to make Jimin more calm but it wasn't very productive when the hunger made his fangs show. He should have drunk something before, no matter what. Seeing Jimin presenting like this made his inner vampire go crazy for him.

Jimin slowly nodded his head as an answer, as he pulled at the restraints again and himself up a little more. Only then he turned to Namjoon again, tears cascading down his cheeks. “Y-you said ever-everything would change t-today,” He whimpered, and a shiver went down his spine. Jimin closed his eyes again, feeling hazy and tired. He was too weak to keep his head up, so each time the darkness closed around him again, Jimin snapped his head up, trying to keep aware of his surroundings. He needed to stay awake.

“Wh-why did you do this to me,” He mumbled, blinking tiredly as he tried to focus on Namjoon, “What…have…I done w-wrong?”

His heart broke for the way Jimin’s voice wavered, his face wet with tears. He couldn't be completely hypnotized or else he wouldn't speak for himself, wouldn't cry. Which meant that the state he was in, the way his consciousness was trying to slip away from him was pure emotional exhaustion and shock. Hoseok had taken Jimin’s softness and trust and ripped it to pieces. “That wasn’t what...” It was his fault; all of this was his fault. “It wasn't supposed to be like this, I just wanted to talk, I’m so sorry Jiminnie. Can I touch you please? I would like to untie you, if that's okay?” He had no idea what to do and if touching Jimin right now would be worse than waiting till his body gave out and then taking care of him while he was protected by blissful oblivion.  

“I am yours to do with-,” Jimin mumbled, his eyes falling shut again, before a sob broke through him making his whole body shudder, ��…a-as you please.” He hissed again, the pain all too present right now with how much he was moving. He just wanted to get out of this, he wanted to feel safe and warm. “I…’m so,” His almost blue lips trembling from the cold, “Please, I’m so cold…I…I don’t feel so good, Master.” Jimin gazed up at Namjoon, his eyes silently pleading for the vampire to help him, to get him out of the misery.

He couldn't watch this, he just couldn't sit there and watch Jimin break so even though the younger hadn't given him explicit permission he reached out, trying to be quick and keep his touches as fleeting as possible while he loosened the ties, keeping Jimin’s wrists in place while he tried to flinch away from the silk that had cut deeply into his delicate skin. “Hush, my love it’ll be over soon, you can sleep now if you want to, I will take care of you.” It felt so wrong to hear the word “master” from Jimin’s sweet mouth that he wanted to erase it, he wanted to clean Jimin up and call him lovely names and bring back the innocence and softness that had been buried under all this pain. “Just let go, sweety, I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

Jimin cried again, the soft words cutting through his heart and he couldn’t help but cry out. It was a horrible, heartbreaking cry, one that called for Namjoon to make him stop hurting and hold him. He was free falling, all while he wasn’t even sure if he could trust the vampire. Jimin felt like he was getting tossed around, his body for others to take and to play with. He sobbed against Namjoon’s chest, when the other came closer, seeking anything that he could hold on to. As soon as the vampire placed his hands down, his fingertips buried deep into Namjoon’s skin. Jimin was afraid he would fall apart. His whole body aching from the pain, shivering from the cold and locked up tight in fear.

Jimin was a mess and Namjoon wanted so badly to put him back together and make him forget. He didn't deserve this. He had showed nothing but kindness to Namjoon, had let him stay even though it and put his own life at risk and in the end,  he had been repaid by meant being abducted and violated. He was relieved that Jimin was at least not shying away from him so he could carry him into the bathroom, one arm around his back and the other hooked under his knees. He tried to not make Jimin feel even more vulnerable than he already was, but he wanted to get him into a hot relaxing bath as soon as possible and therefore he just got him up from the bed as naked as he was.

Jimin hissed in pain the second Namjoon hoisted him up though and he hid his face in the crook of Namjoon’s neck in shame. “It…It hurts,” He was holding onto the vampire so tight, that his knuckles turned white, “Please, Na-Namjoon.” Whimpering when Namjoon adjusted his hold, Jimin squealed in pain. “It’s…please, don’t…I…It’s too big,” He murmured incoherent words, “He…didn’t care…I…had to.” Jimin was just so tired and weak that his head was falling back, when the memory of what Hoseok had made him do in hypnosis. He could still hear his orders, his laugh, the way he had talked about that Namjoon will like him like this and how good of a human he was for him.

Jimin’s words didn’t make any sense to him until he noticed the way Jimin was pressing his thighs together. Hate spilled like acid into his veins. “Jimin, did he... did he...” He couldn’t finish the sentence, couldn’t wrap his mind around how Hoseok could hurt someone so soft and beautiful like Jimin on purpose. He quickly placed him down onto the floor, as gently as he could.  “Let me... let me see please?” His voice was hoarse and brittle, the words ashen in his mouth. He didn’t want to uncover even more horrible things that Hoseok had done. He wanted to undo them, to delete them from Jimin’s mind and erase them from his skin. “I’m so... so sorry for this!”

Silent tears rolled down his cheek, when Jimin slowly propped himself up on his knees. He felt so embarrassed about all of this. But he was naked already, Namjoon had seen the worst already. No matter what he would try, Hoseok had made it clear that he belonged here now. To Namjoon. To the vampires. To whoever wanted to claim him. He didn’t look at the other, when he leaned forward, showing off the butt plug, Hoseok had chosen for him to prepare himself for Namjoon. It wasn’t like he had never worn one, but it had been a while and it was starting to hurt, especially with the way he was tensing up the whole time. He buried his face in his hands, when he sat back a little again, sobbing and apologizing repeatedly. Jimin just wanted this nightmare to end.

Dread settled low in his stomach, heavy and hot like a scorching brick when he realized that Jimin was wearing a plug. There was no way that he would have willingly done that to himself so either Hoseok made him do it under the hypnosis – or he did it to Jimin himself. Either way it was a horrible violation of both Jimin’s body and his soul and Namjoon ached with the certainty that it was his fault. To make it worse Jimin was apologizing to him as if he feared punishment for not taking it quietly. This whole situation was so horribly, horribly wrong!

“Sh...sht, it’s alright, you’re going to be fine. I’m... I’m going to take that out of you, okay? Just... please just try to relax and it’ll be over soon...” The morally right way to do this would have probably been to wait until Jimin was conscious enough to do it himself but Jimin’s eyes were still glazed over and his mind a little too far gone to fully get what was happening to him and Namjoon couldn’t stand the thought of Jimin coming to and having to feel something inside of him that he didn’t want there. His broken words and pleas were already enough. Jimin whimpered when Namjoon reached between his legs and it cut right through Namjoon’s chest. The Vampire closed his eyes, trying to stay calm and focused and just like Jimin needed him to be right now. He shushed him softly, whispering sweet nothings into his ear, telling him with a calm voice how it would be over in a second and how good he was doing, he just needed to relax. Namjoon tried to be as gentle as possible but Jimin still shuddered when he pulled that horrible thing out, the grip on Namjoon’s arm tightening painfully as Jimin’s knuckles turned white again. He didn’t let go even when it was over. Namjoon threw the plug aside to somewhere where Jimin wouldn’t have to see it again. Soothing him was way more important right now than cleaning up properly.

Finally he could throw a blanket over Jimin, pulling it tight enough that Jimin could feel the warmth and safety but loose enough that he didn’t feel trapped (making him take a hot bath now that Namjoon had found out that he was injured that way was out of the question). He waited until Jimin’s dissociation seemed to have settled a little, then he carefully held Jimin close, gently rocking his delicate frame while Jimin’s eyes started to get clearer and his body got out of its frozen state. “Hush, baby, it’s fine, you’re safe. It’s over, no one’s going to touch you again. Shh~ht, you’re safe now. You’re safe with me, Jimin.”

Jimin held onto Namjoon tight, closing his eyes as he tried to concentrate on Namjoon’s words. It didn’t take long for him to finally fall asleep. His body finally being able to relax. He was out of it in seconds, the darkness pulling him back in. Namjoon was caressing through his hair, over his cheeks and it helped him to keep himself in reality and not dissociate while asleep. Each time Jimin was shivering, Namjoon pulled him closer, keeping him warm and let him feel the safety of his hold.

He stayed with Jimin until he was sure the younger was dead asleep then he started to clean him with lukewarm water. The dried blood on his neck had started to flake and it was both terrifying and fascinating to him to see Jimin’s blood dilute in the water. The monster in him wanted to taste, to lean forward and drink now that Jimin had been hurt anyway but even though the hunger was eating at him painfully his finger’s didn’t even tremble while cleaning the younger up. Seeing Jimin broken and hurt had spoiled his appetite. The calmer he got and the more his mind had time to process what had happened the more angry he got. He would go to see Hoseok right after. This had gone way, way too far and he would make sure that Hoseok would never ever touch Jimin again!

He hated the thought of leaving Jimin alone, but he needed to discuss this now. He could never look into Jimin’s eyes again if he couldn’t swear to him that Hoseok would never hurt him like that again. However, he was in a mansion full of vampires, he was weak and injured and smelled delicious so Namjoon made sure to mark Jimin as his - the soft way. Carefully he bit his own lip until he broke the skin a little, licking over it until his lips were bloodied. Then he leaned down and kissed Jimin’s neck once, a little above the collarbone, careful not to get to close to the younger’s actually wound. No one would dare to hurt Jimin now if they stumbled upon him, unless they wanted to risk going against Namjoons right and initiating a fight. Still he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible as he would only be able to stop worrying while keeping an eye on Jimin himself.

The vampire king was already waiting for the subordinate vampire. The smile still in place, as he looked outside the window. The stars sparkled bright as the large white moon hung mysteriously over the mansion. He took a deep breath when he could hear footsteps coming closer and Hoseok leaned back comfortably. There was nothing he needed to fear. Instead, for him it was all just fun and games.

When the door busted open, Hoseok didn’t even flinch, instead he took a sip from his glass, that was filled with some blood. Jin’s to be exact. “Namjoon, you’re already done?” The vampire king cocked up an eyebrow at him, “You didn’t last very long then…or didn’t Jimin? Don’t tell me you wasted that beautiful human.” He got up from where he sat and walked around the coffee table towards Namjoon, “He tastes amazing, doesn’t he?”

Namjoon had to close his eyes to get himself together. He was furious. But he wouldn’t last a second right now if he just jumped at Hoseok. He might still have though, if it wasn’t for Jimin still being in the same building. “How... how could you... how dare you… he wasn’t your toy to play with! I care about him! I really do! And you treated him like a fuck toy. You basically raped him so how can you... how can you think I would be happy about this?!” His fangs were showing openly, he just couldn’t hide them anymore, hunger and hurt and anger making them show all for different reasons.

Hoseok threw his hands up in defense, chuckling low, “You shouldn’t have disobeyed me in the first place. You can be glad that I didn’t follow the usual rules or else Jimin would be dead by now and you with him.” He growled low in his chest, signaling Namjoon to back the fuck away from him, “He’s yours now. Do whatever you want. He knows his place and where he belongs now. Hell, try and hypnotize him again if you need to. But let me tell you one thing, Namjoon…” The vampire king came closer, pushing the other back until he there was nothing left behind him but the cold wall, “You’re a fucking vampire. Start acting like one or else you’ll be dead sooner than you think and then no one can save Jimin anymore. No master, no one there to claim him,” Then he hissed at Namjoon, venom dripping down with every word he said, “If you…or Jimin fucking disobey me once more I will kill you. Slowly. Painfully. And I will make him watch first, before I do the same to him.”

Namjoon bit his lip hard to keep himself from talking, his already broken skin starting to bleed again. He wanted to scream at Hoseok, yell right in his face that he couldn’t just hurt Jimin like that to punish him - though reality was: he could. He could go over there and kill Jimin if he wanted and Namjoon wouldn’t be able to prevent it. Hoseok was stronger than him, older, always well fed. He wouldn’t stand a chance. And he didn’t doubt for one second that Hoseok would follow through with his threats. He’d torture Jimin to death if it got him what he wanted. He trembled from all the suppressed anger, but he kept quiet, hating himself for backing down instead of standing up for Jimin like he should. He had told the younger he would protect him. And now he was lying there on a bed in this mansion, hurt and broken and so, so far from how it should be. His voice sounded hoarse from all the pent up emotion that he could only barely keep in check, but he managed, not really to keep the spite out of his words but to keep his voice from wavering. “If I apologize for my disobedience and act accordingly to how you want me to behave - can you promise me then that Jimin will be safe?” Hoseok's grin hit him with another wave of nausea. “I want you to swear that you won’t ever touch him again. On your blood. Or else you will feel what it will be like to find the one you love hurting and violated!”

Hoseok licked his lips slowly, looking the other vampire up and down. “Are you threatening your king, Namjoon?” He growled low, while his hand wandered up Namjoon’s chest and then settled on his neck. The king was tightening his hold, making the other feel his power.

“As long as you claim him. No one else can touch him and I won’t either,” He hissed through his teeth, reminding Namjoon about the rules of the vampires. If a human was claimed not even a vampire king could do anything without permission. But Hoseok knew about the promise Namjoon had given Jimin, that the human didn’t want to be bitten. Well, he did the first step. It shouldn’t be too bad for Namjoon to just follow his lead now. The human was too whiny anyways and it was Namjoon’s job now to make sure Jimin knew how to behave around here. “You know the rules. He’s one of us now.” He put a little more pressure around Namjoon’s throat before he pushed him away, “Now get out of my face!”

He hated it! He hated how weak he was, how trying to do the right things made everything just crash and burn around him. But he couldn’t just throw away his consciousness. He couldn’t! And still, right now he would have done anything to get some blood. He was hurting all over and he couldn’t even distinguish from the purely physical pain that was caused from the blood loss and the pain that manifested throughout his body because he was hurting so badly because of Jimin’s pain. And he felt guilty for even feeling like that because nothing had happened to him it was Jimin who had been abducted and hurt and bitten and stripped down and... a dry sob choked him, and he got into the very next room to get out of the hall were others might see. If he was seen as weak, they might even dare to mess with Jimin and he couldn’t... he couldn’t let that happen again!

He hit the wall with his palm, knowing that if he let loose completely or started punching it for real, he would break the wood, the wall behind it, probably his own wrist but he just needed to do something he felt so... so.... Namjoon whined in distress, something between a scream and a growl, leaning his head against the wall and trying to remember how to breathe.

Jin looked up from the book he was reading, watching Namjoon, who was looking like he was only seconds away from tearing this whole place down. He had heard already about the new human inside the mansion. One that belonged to Namjoon, that Hoseok had called ‘the present’ around him. He had only rolled his eyes at the king in that moment.

“You okay there?” Jin asked and put the book aside, waiting for Namjoon to realize that he wasn’t alone. “You know crying about it and punching the walls won’t help the human much.”

Namjoon flinched violently when he heard Jin’s voice behind him. He had been so out of it that he hadn’t even noticed someone else was there. He heaved a shuddering breath, trying to relax. He was exhausted. And so, so very hungry. “What do you know about that, human. You’re living your life as the king's little toy, you have no idea...,” He stopped himself short, shaking his head, “I’m sorry, Seokjin. I’m just... really not in a good place right now. But you’re right.” He laughed humorlessly, “Crying about it won’t help anyone, right? And it’s too late now anyway. All I can do is hope that Jimin will get over this without too much damage on his soul.”

“It’s fine,” He shrugged his shoulders, “People always just see what we portray on the outside. He’s the vampire. I’m his “toy”. But you know there’s more than that, don’t you? Something that you are desperately aching for yourself, right?” Seokjin stood up and walked over to Namjoon. Carefully, he reached out for the vampire, smiling at him apologetically as he wiped away a few tears from his cheek. Cupping his face, Jin made Namjoon look at him. “Of course, I know there’s more between you two.” Namjoon shook his head, his smile turning a little bitter. “Sometimes I think you’re the only person that really matters to him. The one and only exception from all those ‘useless humans’. I wonder what you did to touch his heart. You must have some necromantic qualities to you because I could have sworn his heart was dead for hundreds of years before he met you. “ Normally he didn’t talk about his king like that, not only because it was disrespectful but because talking badly about others and creating negativity wasn't what he wanted to contribute to a conversation. Right now, he didn’t give a damn about Hoseok's reputation though. And Seokjin knew him best anyway. He leaned away from Seokjin’s touch as the other caressed his cheek, too hurt by Hoseok's actions to be able to let his ‘unofficial boyfriend’ play games with him.

“You love him,” Jin spoke quietly, “The human, I mean. It’s written all over your face. Oh, Namjoon...” Before the vampire could do something, the human leaned in and hugged him tight, holding him for a little while.

Namjoon stiffened up when Seokjin hugged him, completely taken by surprise. They had been politely friendly to each other, sure, but this wasn’t something they had ever done before. And it was really fucking dangerous for more than one reason. “I... don’t think that’s a good idea.” He instinctively licked his lips, trying not to breath in Seokjin's scent or concentrate on how warm the other was, how his blood was rushing through his veins right under his fragile skin.

When he stepped away from him, Jin let his hands wander down Namjoon’s arm, squeezing him there reassuringly, “There’s more than you can do than just hope.” When the vampire’s confused gaze met his, he smiled. “You know the others will figure out, that you have a human around you now. They will want to see if you have him claimed. Even if you did, when they see how weak you are, they will fight you. Namjoon, you have to eat! No shitty blood bags, but real food.” Jin bit his lip, looking back over his shoulder as he contemplated something. “This is not about you, or your moral standards anymore, Namjoon,” Jin raised his eyebrow at the other, knowing exactly what he wanted to answer but he didn’t even give Namjoon the chance to speak. “This is about Jimin and how you can protect him. There is no way Hoseok will let you and him leave, so you have to decide. Stand by your morals and stay weak or become strong for him and be able to protect him.” Seokjin’s lecture made him defiant and he was about to tell him that his morals was everything that he had left, that if you didn’t stick to your own rules in an ever changing world then what was the point, but the human rendered him mute when he pulled him along and onto the couch.

Jin sighed, as he was starting to roll up his sleeve. “I know you always want to do what’s morally right, but maybe this time you have to play his wicked game,” He reached out for Namjoon’s hand and placed his wrist in the vampire’s palm. Shifting a little closer to Namjoon, Jin leaned against the vampire’s shoulder. Being so close to him, the vampire could feel Jin’s breath on his neck with every word he spoke, one hand placed in his, while with the other was tracing little patterns at the nape of Namjoon’s neck. “But that doesn’t mean you have to lose or give up. So, I think it’s only fair to take something from his, when he did the same to yours, right?”

When Seokjin rolled up his sleep Namjoon couldn’t help but watch, his eyes transfixed on the way Seokjin bared his radial artery to him so nonchalantly. The vampire’s breath quickened involuntarily as he tried in vain to not let it show how much it affected him. He had no idea what the other was doing and only when Seokjin made it clear that he was offering up his blood to him did it click. “Wait, what... what is about? Is this some kind of test? Did Hoseok ask you to test my loyalty to him? He claimed you! You are his! I know you’re way more than that but regarding to vampire law you’re his property and I would be stupid to give in to this!” Still he couldn’t let go of Seokjin’s wrist. Where his fingers had closed around the others delicate bones, he could feel the pulse beating against his skin. It was the sweetest torture he could think of.

“If I remember correctly there’s also a rule about how that it is my duty as a human to offer some of mine to a vampire in need...and you awfully look like you need it,” Jin chuckled, before he shook his head to answer Namjoon’s questions, “No, it’s not a test. I am his, yes - but I can make my own choices. I am offering you my blood. I think Hoseok overstepped way more boundaries tonight, than you will with simply taking my blood. Don’t worry about any consequences. I will make sure to keep Hoseok in line and away from Jimin.” Caressing through Namjoon’s hair, Jin nodded towards his wrist, “It’s only fair to take from me, when he did the same with yours. Most of the humans in the mansion are claimed right now. The vampires are scared to go out to hunt because of the rogues. I can make sure to order blood bags for you after this, but right now...you don’t have much of a choice. Take from me and protect the one you love…”

Namjoon’s mouth watered at the prospect of drinking blood right from the source. He couldn’t remember the last time he did that. Absentmindedly he traced Jin’s veins while he listened to the human talking. He sounded so sure and confident. He was so lost in this, the temptation, the smell, that he leaned into Jin’s caress like a cat. He was way past the position to refuse this right now. And Jin offered willingly so if this really wasn’t a test…

Namjoon silenced the parts of his mind that still worried and pressed his mouth to Jin’s wrist. He moaned helplessly when he felt the pulse against his lips. “Thank you. Thank you so much, Seokjin!” He tried to be as gentle as possible, just barely nicking the skin with his fangs at first. When the first drops of blood hit his tongue he shuddered violently, sinking deeper immediately. He could barely control himself, drinking greedily, swallowing down Jin’s heavenly blood in hasty gulps. He didn’t taste as sweet and heady as Jimin but there was an underlying spiciness to it, a savory flavor that Namjoon appreciated just as much. No wonder Hoseok had fallen for Jin. His fierce character together with his soft beauty and delicious blood made for an addictive combination.

Jin leaned into Namjoon as soon as the poison entered his body, making him feel heated, euphoric and so turned on. A moan slipped from his lips and breathy little pants came from Seokjin. He smiled, licking his lips slowly, watching the vampire take from him greedily. “’m so good,” He mumbled, holding onto Namjoon’s shoulder to steady himself. Only when Jin could see that Namjoon got some color back in his face and the vampire wasn’t looking as sickly anymore, his eyes shiny red and reflecting his true inner self, only then he caressed through his hair once more, before pulling at it slightly. Namjoon slowed down a little, lapping at the blood with relish. The hunger had simmered down, and he slowly started to feel sated. Still he instinctively growled when Jin pulled his wrist away, his cheeks burning from embarrassment. It was just so tasty! And not only that he felt like he could finally breathe again, as if someone had lifted a haze from his mind and now everything was clearer again, more sharply, more real. He sighed with relief. “It’s enough now, vampire,” Seokjin spoke quietly and pulled his wrist away from his lips. “Pity”, Namjoon joked a little, finding back to his humor. “You look really beautiful like this.”

“I know I do,“ Jin said nonchalantly, but still – he loved getting compliments. He got up from the couch, holding onto his wrist for a moment. “Lick it clean, please. I can’t walk around looking like this,” He pushed it into Namjoon’s face again, before he added, “For the human...as he and I are the only not hypnotized humans here,” He looked at Namjoon as he raised an eyebrow at him. He didn’t think the vampire had the guts to completely hypnotize the other to force him to be with Namjoon, “Just tell him, that he’s always welcome in my room. If he ever needs one of his kind to talk to. And you should think about visiting Yoongi…maybe he can help you.”

Namjoon did as he was asked, sinking down onto his knees for Seokjin to show his gratitude while thoroughly cleaning Jin up with gentle touches and little licks. It felt even more intimate now that Jin’s warm blood was running through his veins. He looked up at Jin, expression turning serious. “That would be great, actually. I can’t even begin to understand what it must feel like to be surrounded by us, always confronted with the presence of deadly danger and possible violence against you - I’m sure it would help him immensely to have someone to talk to who hasn’t fangs.” He hesitated a little and then added, “Actually I... I thought about having him visit Yoongi as well but... then I wasn’t sure if it wouldn’t be another kind of violation to have Yoongi do that to him...on the other hand I don’t want him to live through what Hoseok did to him. Do you really think it would be okay? You, as a human - how would you decide in his situation?”

“I’d definitely prefer some harmless memories over one’s that would bring me nightmares,” He answered honestly, “We humans are too easy to break. Ask him if he wants some of the memories gone, but I am sure he will agree.” Taking his hand away from Namjoon, he thanked him for cleaning the wound and turned on his heel. Just when he reached the door, he looked over his shoulder one last time, “I’ll make sure that you have blood bags from tomorrow on until then I hope my blood will get you through.”

On the other side of the mansion, Jimin stirred and still asleep he rolled over onto his back. His legs twitches as he fell deeper into his nightmare. A deafening scream reverberated in the shadows in his mind. He was starting to pant, his heartbeat quickening fast. He could see Hoseok’s evil eyes glinting red above him, making him shudder from head to toe.

And then he screamed.

Namjoons thanks died on his tongue when he heard Jimin scream. He was back at the room in a second, fangs out and ready to fight whoever had dared to get too close to Jimin - when he saw that Jimin was alone. Sadness and guilt crept back into his heart as he slowly got closer, careful not to scare Jimin even more. Jimin was panting harshly but his eyes were closed so he didn’t know if Jimin was still asleep and reacting very violently to a nightmare or if he was awake and just too scared to open his eyes, trying to hide from the world around him by literally closing his eyes to it. Jin was right. He should get Jimin to Yoongi, the sooner the better. If he couldn’t remember what had happened in all detail that it couldn’t haunt him like that. “Jimin? Minnie?” He didn’t dare to touch him, so he tried to get him to respond by words alone. “Are you awake?”

Jimin instinctively pulled the blanket closer over his body, curling in on himself, when Namjoon’s voice reached him. He had woken up right after his scream, but as soon as he realized where he was, he had tried to hide again. He nodded slowly to answer the vampire. “I…I am sorry,” He hiccupped from the tears a little, feeling utterly lost and helpless. Jimin felt so tired, so dizzy from dehydration and way too vulnerable with him still being naked under the blanket. But when he looked up at Namjoon, Jimin tried to smile, shaking off the bad memory of his nightmare as much as he could, but all he wanted was to be held and to feel safe again. “I want to go home, Namjoon.”

He felt horrible denying Jimin what he wanted most right now but he couldn't just send him back. Hoseok, the rogues, Jimin’s own tortured mind - at least one of it would get to Jimin sooner or later. “Don’t apologize, Minnie. You are the least responsible for all of this. It’s me who has to make amends to you... but right now is not the time. I can’t get you home right now, I’m sorry. You will have to stay here for a while. But I promise...” His voice broke a little when he remembered that he had told Jimin before that he wouldn’t get hurt and looking at him now there was no way Jimin would ever believe him again. “...I…I’ll make sure that you’re safe. There are others who can look out for you too. Seokjin, a human that I’d like you to meet and... friends of mine...” He wasn't really sure if you could call the bonds between vampires ‘friendship’ as they were more built on necessity and decade old routine than the conscious decision to befriend someone, but he didn’t know how else to call it and to Jimin it might be calming to think that there where people around that would have an eye on him. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet right now actually. I know you probably don't want to see anyone right now but it's really important that you get to him, the sooner the better. It’s... he might be able to help you a little.”

Jimin bit his lip in thought. He had known the answer, Hoseok had made it clear to him that this was his new home now. That Namjoon owned him. That’s why he also didn’t say no to Namjoon asking him to meet one of his friends. The vampire would make the decisions now and he would follow. Jimin pulled the blanket a little tighter around his body and got up. “Of course, Master,” Jimin said quietly, “Is it okay…if I take a shower first?” Then a horrible thought crossed his mind and he instinctively reached out for Namjoon, his eyes wide in panic, “You…you will come with me, right? And…and I don’t have to sleep with him…r-right?”

Namjoon closed his eyes when Jimin called him ‘master’ again. It was just a word and yet it cut through him right into his heart because it stood for everything that Jimin shouldn’t be, scared, submissive, insecure, forced to make himself small and obey to “his vampire owner’s” wish. He ached for Jimin, for the way the youngers eyes widened in fear, the way he pulled the blanket around himself in a desperate attempt to shield himself, knowing that nothing would withstand a vampires force if they wanted to take it from him. The grip around his arm was too tight and too shaky to be anything but a helpless, unconscious way of grounding himself and Namjoon gently plucked Jimin’s hand from his arm to keep it between his own. “No, Jimin you don’t... don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.“ Besides staying here against his will. Being surrounded by vampires. Having to try and act calm while he surely must be dying to just break down or scream out his pain or flee everything and never look back. “And please, please don’t call me master,” He bit his lip when gently tugging Jimin along. “The shower can wait, okay? It’s really important that you meet him as soon as possible.” He didn’t have the heart to tell Jimin that he had already cleaned him up while Jimin had still been in shock and that if he still felt dirty it probably didn’t have to do anything with his skin not being clean. It made all the more clear that Seokjin was right and that he desperately needed Yoongi. He really hoped the vampire would wake up for him - and also would be willing to help. Because the longer they waited the more difficult it would be for Yoongi to dilute the memories.

A/N: At least they found each other again, right? So far...so good...or bad, depending on how you see the current situation with Jimin staying in the mansion. Either way, we really hope you enjoyed it and are ready to get some more insight into the life in the vampire mansion soon...oh, and Yoongi of course. We’ll see how he is in the next chapter! I can’t wait! Thank you guys for your wonderful comments on the last chapter! It made us so happy! ❤❤❤

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[wearethegladiators]

BUCKLE UP KIDS BC THIS SHIT IS WAY TOO LONG BC I HAVE 0 SELF-CONTROL: A LILY EDITION

Lily is trapped AF. She is an important figure of the Muggleborn Resistance/one of the branches of the Muggleborn Resistance… She’s quite a powerful player because she managed to secure allies… pretty much everywhere (hello Wynona, hello les deatheaters). BUT her branch is very cult-like (yes, this is canon, I thought this through and through promis). It started most likely when she helped a bunch of them to escape from a Mudblood Camp (which was mostly accomplished thanks to/with Sacha but I guess he would try to avoid the spotlight??) Then she was captured a bunch of other times, always escaped, was almost killed a bunch of times, always survived (just Lily stuff). (Also the fact that she disappeared on a crusade for months after the virus to find the muggle survivors and buried/burnt so many bodies… Imaginaries, you know). And that kept on going. At first she thought this was bullshit, she’d make fun of Fury and the bunch of other people treating her like a Wanheda. But then Aron died, and THAT changed everything. Because the building of the Muggleborn Resistance, like you said, it was all for people like him. And every fucking thing Lily did, it was all about him first and foremost. Before her people. Before anyone else. And failing at it, losing the purpose she had for years?? She almost gave up. But then they were these people telling her she survived for a reason, she was meant to do something, she was the queen of the dead of whatever bullshit… Well if she ever met an oracle confirming that, she’d accept it. There HAS to be a reason why SHE survived when everyone else around her is… dead, brainwashed, gone. So she played into that. And Lily, while being an atheist, has always strongly believed in fate and destiny. So in the long run, she’d buy it… Would come to believe she is the only one capable of saving her people from going extinct, and would take drastic measures to prevent it from happening. She has to have a reason to keep going, and so do the people around her because they fucking suffered so much. So that’s what she does – sort of brainwash herself. That’s how she survives, but that’s not how she may live.

 Random bullet points and further ranting:

 ·         CLARIFICATION 1: I’ve seen you were confused by some stuff I mentioned like the “Fenugreek drama” which makes sense because I’ve never explicitly spoken about it mdr. But basically, the idea is that Fenugreek got injured during a battle, pretty badly. Healers managed to “bring him back” but he was just done. He did not want to keep on fighting. So he begged everyone in the room to end his suffering and no one was willing to do it because he was a kid. And finally Lily stood up and she did it. (Sung The Parting Glass while doing it because hey, remember Fenugreek was Irish too). That’s the moment when things started to go ugly with Aron.

·         CLARIFICATION 2: Lily thought Aron was dead right after she was saved by the Rebellion so I need to check but… mid-1998? Sullivan had caught her and tricked her/her memory into thinking they had killed her brother (he officially did it because they needed to “stop” Lily (mdr the deatheaters thought Lily was a hell of a threat at that time remember) (and the Rebellion was just like “humpf nice kid, how did she survive tho”) ANYWAY it was his way of “stopping” her without killing her) (what a bitch, is he dead btw) (I think so). So after that she had a few weeks/months of being batshit crazy, always running away, having edgy/suicidal behavior, and ultimately savagely killing a deatheater. That’s when she decided it was too much, and since she felt something was wrong with her memory she went to NZ and found her family safe and sound :’) and brought back to the UK :’)

·         NOT RELATED BUT CANON: Lily’s ancestors were Vikings. Warriors, explorers. And overall nice people. Btw can we have talk about this? http://www.irishsurnames.com/cgi-bin/gallery.pl?name=evans&capname=Evans&letter=e PEACE. SINCERITY. WOLVES. So anyway long shot I’m sorry but………….. What if Lily’s and Nathan’s ancestors already crossed paths on the sea????

·         NEEDS MORE THOUGHT: Lily is a FREAKING GOOD Occlumens. And she uses it way too much. And it’s messing with her mind, her health, and pretty much everything around. Definitely weakens her a lot but she can’t stop. (Also because of what happened when she let down her guard and thought Aron was dead). But the whole Josephine plot….. Makes me wonder if she could not have one such moment again, because she’s frankly exhausted. What if someone takes advantage of it? What if someone attacks her in what is supposed to be her greatest strengths?? HOW BAD WOULD THIS BE???

 ·         NEEDS MORE THOUGHT: SACHA. I always thought of him as a sort of mini-Aron… (and so did Lily, for a while). But you know what Sacha really is? A mini-Lily, struggling not to become everything Lily is at the moment. And Lily, as blinded as she is atm, she can see that. She can feel that. And she’ll be willing to fucking protect that. She won’t be a perfect friend because she’s… she’s fucked up, tbh. Damaged to a point that may not ever be fixed. But she’ll try. She’ll be that one person to tell him to never, ever give up on his brother (even though she may fail at providing him with the support needed to do so). She’ll make sure he does not have to do the fucked-up shit/get his hands dirty. But even more so…. She could use him as her moral compass? Like she has her personal “circle” of counselors if you will (most of them being fanatics :’)) but gradually, she’ll end up turning to Sacha. Because she can see herself in him – everything she used to be, everything she wishes she still was. And speaking to him is like speaking to an older version of herself, a better version of herself. I really want Nathan to be the one helping her out of this mess but… This could certainly help. If Sacha tells her something’s wrong, she’ll listen. She may not seem like she is, but she will.

 Finally, I don’t know if you can tell but I’ve been getting A LOT of Nathalily vibes lately. They’re like BROTP ENDGAME YO. There’s definitely angst in there. Lily’s almost exclusively with the Muggleborn Resistance now (she stuck with the rebellion for a while because Aron literally refused to follow with the Muggleborn Resistance and stayed with the Rebels mdr). As you said, the Rebellion and the Muggleborn Resistance have different endgoals and they must sometimes clash, which means that LILY AND NATHAN CLASH. Also the Aron drama must have damaged their relationship somehow (I’m sorry bitch but because of Bellarke I can just SEE Lily slapping Nathan in the face, and the only way she would resort to this would probably be Aron-related). (Also remember that in the Excidium verse Lily had literally LEFT Nathan’s movement because she disagreed so much with it and what he was becoming) (and remember on the CB of les Ames Mortes when Nathan literally ATTACKED Lily to show her how unprepared she was to face the war) (THERE’S ALWAYS BEEN ANGST GNNNN)

But, my point is, even though their relationship might be complicated, even though they’re in conflict sometimes (what if they literally find themselves on opposite sides mdr) (I mean with what you said I could see some Resistants being AGAINST the Rebellion), they’re just ALWAYS THERE for each other. Like there’s a super sensitive thing to do and Lily just goes like “yeah, ask Nathan” without even thinking because!! she trusts him so much!! no matter what!! And everyone’s like “really????” and she’s looking at them like “wtf idiots”. Idk, like the unconditional trust and the unconditional love and the unbreakable bond is still here no matter what? She would come under a minute if she heard he was in trouble, and she would put her life into his hands without even having to think about it. Am I making sense??? And they need to have an emotional retrouvailles sequence with a running!hug and shit. Nathan also needs to help Lily out of this mess hihi. OR Lily could give up all this bullshit when Nathan goes “””dark”””?? Because it was not just Aron her priority – it was her brother, and Nathan’s just that to her.

(Also I’m a sucker for Lily/Nathan saying they’re each other’s brothers and sisters and everyone being like YOU DON’T HAVE THE SAME BLOOD. YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE THE SAME SKIN COLOR. AND SO WHAT BITCH)

Anyway so I’m emotional, I don’t know if you could tell

(Regarding the last gifset: I mean, Lily’s a badass survivor, she’s incredibly luckily and shit. But Nathan plays a big part in her survival over the last few years, both physically and mentally, that we need to acknowledge :’))

#lily #nathalily #there's some more no worries #i'm also finishing chapter 3 of wynona's backstory because ENDOMETRIOSIS IS A BITCH and i haven't been able to write anything coherent in #almost 3 days yo #your last posts #i'm crying #everything's so sad #can everyone just hug each other and come to the conclusion this war should end pls