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#do I want to invite you and talk to you when it's good and we can vibe together well
harunayuuka2060 · 3 days
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Floyd: I want to play with Damselfish, but he's always busyyyy~.
Azul: That can't be helped. Yuurin is a model student and he has some responsibilities to fulfill.
Floyd: Eh~ But he's just a first-year, you know~.
Jade: Why not take on the role of a responsible upperclassman for him?
Azul: As if Floyd would do that-
Floyd: That's a good idea, Jade~.
Azul: Huh?
Jade: *chuckles*
Azul: ...
Azul: Floyd, please refrain from causing any trouble for us.
Yuurin: *is on her way to Professor Crewel's class*
Floyd: DAMSELFISH~~~!
Yuurin: ? *turns around* *and sees Floyd walking towards her*
Yuurin: Floyd-senpai?
Floyd: *when he's in front of her* *smiles* Where are you going~?
Yuurin: To Professor Crewel's class.
Floyd: Okay~. I'll take you there~.
Yuurin: No, it's fin-
Floyd: *scoops her up, cradling her effortlessly in his arms*
Yuurin: ...
Floyd: Eh~ You're surprisingly light, damselfish~.
Yuurin: ...
Professor Crewel and the rest of the students: ...
Professor Crewel: I see you both decided to come to class together.
Floyd: *is carrying Yuurin now like a teddy bear*
Yuurin: I appreciate the free lift, senpai.
The students: Wow... He can talk casually with Floyd...
Floyd: You're welcome~. Next time again~.
Yuurin: No. I'll be just walking by myself next time.
Floyd: Eh~? Why are you being mean to me~?
Yuurin: No, I'm not.
Professor Crewel: That's enough. Since both of you got here, why not be partners for the experiment today?
Floyd: Are you serious, striped beakfish~? *smiling*
Professor Crewel: Yes. I feel that you'll behave if you are with Yuurin.
Jamil and Ace: ...
Floyd: I'll be playing with Damselfish~!
Jamil: ...
Jamil: It's been a while since you visited the Basketball Club, Yuurin.
Jamil: Not even Ace could invite you after that.
Ace: H-Hey! He was always busy!
Yuurin: Yes. I couldn't find the time to visit. I'm sorry.
Jamil: That's alright. Everyone is aware that you're fond of the Equestrian Club more.
Yuurin: ...
Floyd: Ehhh~ What's in Equestrian Club~?
Yuurin: I have a horse there. His name is Aerion.
Floyd: Hmmm... You like animals?
Yuurin: Yes.
Floyd: ...
Floyd: Hehe~ Damselfish! Let's go to the ocean now!
Jamil: Huh?! Aren't you two here for the basketball practice?!
Ace: Y-Yeah!
Floyd: I've changed my mind~. Let's go, damselfish~! *dragging Yuurin away*
Floyd: *could tell that Yuurin enjoys playing with the lemon sharks*
Floyd: *swims next to her* They're friendly, aren't they?
Yuurin: *looks at him*
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: *nods*
Floyd: Hm? Why are you just nodding- Oh, right! I didn't give you any potion to breathe underwater!
Yuurin: *just reads his lips* *gestures to him that it's fine*
Floyd: Oh... *smiles* How long can you stay underwater?
Yuurin: ...
Yuurin: *signs to him that she can stay underwater for 30 minutes*
Floyd: Eh~! THAT'S SO COOL~!
Azul: Floyd, you're NOT going to take Yuurin on another underwater trip again.
Floyd: Ehhh~? Why not~?
Azul: Leona yelled at me on the phone.
Floyd: And that's my problem~?
Azul: You-
Jade: How did it go, Floyd?
Floyd: Hehe~ I really enjoyed my time with him~.
Floyd: He promised that we will play again together with the lemon sharks~.
Jade: Oh that's good.
Azul: No, it's not!
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erwinsvow · 1 day
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I ACC LOVE UR ACC SMMM
Btw, can you pls do a bsf!rafe (who's low-key a little perverted) with shy, innocent!reader??
haha i feel like everyone looves pervy best friend rafe. this is like maybe if kook trio reader was actually shy reader
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the boys were so nice, such good friends to you. you hadn't expected that a friendship between parents would lead to them inviting you into their exclusive boys club, the fourth in their trio.
but all of you got on surprisingly well—you could tell they were censoring themselves sometimes, maybe a couple less inappropriate jokes, drinking a little curbed because you weren't quite comfortable yet handling three drunk boys.
topper and kelce were nice, if not a little too polite. they never really bothered you, though they tried to include you in their conversations and make an effort.
no, it was rafe who really included you. he was everything a good friend should be—picking you up and dropping you off, never letting you walk home alone even if you guys were just hanging out at tannyhill down the road. he would get you your drinks and make sure you were a part of the conversation, never letting you sit alone or feel ignored.
he was being a great friend.. if not a little too much, too posessive. he didn't like when you talked to other boys, sometimes even if you were entranced in a conversation with top or kelce. sometimes it felt like he found reasons to drag you away.
and sometimes, though you thought you were imagining it, that rafe wouldn't actually do such a thing, you felt like he was touchier with you than others. he would often rest a hand on your knee at lunch, keep you on his lap at a party when you were too drunk and giggly to know better, to know this wasn't normal.
"that girl was looking at me.." you tell rafe, seated next to him on the couch. he'd just had you in his lap, but you'd crawled off to go freshen up, returning to the spot next to him. his arm is swung around your shoulder, his hand on your thigh.
"who?" he asks, glancing around. he doesn't see anyone.
"over there. she's been looking at you all night. i think we gave her the wrong idea, rafe-"
"wrong idea?"
"she's gonna think.. y'know. that we're together, or something." he doesn't even turn to look around, to see who it is.
"who cares, kid? let 'em think what they want." you look up a little confused, and rafe leans in to talk into your ear. "lions don't care about the opinions of sheep, right?" the way he says it, though any other day you'd smack his arm and laugh, makes your whole body shiver.
"yeah," you agree, not wanting rafe to think you disagree with him.
he spots kelce and top in the distance, walking closer, and he scoops you back into his lap with two strong hands on your hips. "gotta make room," he says while you squirm.
you settle in though, making yourself comfortable. he has to try hard not to keep staring down the front of your dress or moving too much—doesn't want you to know he's hard for his new little best friend.
yet, that is. no, he's gonna have you folded in half on his bed that he keeps telling you is perfectly fine to sleepover in, bent over in the back seat of the truck he picks you up in, pushed against the wall in the bathroom at the club where he takes you to show you around.
he's playing the long game, and he's enjoying it, a hand on your waist while you sip on your drink and talk to him about something, not kelce or top.
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ominouspuff · 15 hours
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No Man Left Behind / Something Worth Dying For
REQUESTS / BLOG EVENT
Request from @razzbberry - Palette #1 - Alpha-17, Cody - Death of the Cynic in Me
Notes and close-ups beneath the cut!
Notes: I think Seventeen would, both subconsciously and consciously, keep his cynicism as long as possible. It’s how he thinks the world works, but it’s also a survival tool. It’d be a very, very slow death.
It’s put to the test with Cody — not because Cody is special among his fellow clones, but because he’s one of the first that bothers to fight Seventeen on his own terms. The argument is always the same. Cody wants to talk about what he hopes to be, someday, after he is a soldier. Seventeen thinks he’s stupid to think that’s possible, or that he’d be capable. Cody knows it, and he, might not be. Seventeen thinks it’s even more stupid, in that case; what a waste of energy.
It develops. When they’re older, and in the thick of war, one day Cody risks his life for the chance to save a brother that was going to die anyway. Seventeen yells at him for fifteen minutes once he’s conscious about luck and stupidity and the trouble it’s causing Seventeen and the false hope it’s engendering in others. Cody says he can disagree all he likes, but he doesn’t give a fig, respectfully. Seventeen thinks Cody can go try to get blown up again, if he thinks so.
There’s no point fighting for a better tomorrow; they’re bought and paid for to fight for something else, FOR someone else. Seventeen is prepared for being fodder, as a result. He’s prepared for unfairness and the bleak life that they’re living. Instead he watches as Cody defeats odds time and time again, somehow managing to balance being an exceptional military leader with a secondary war to live for something more, running himself ragged and — inexplicably — gaining ground. Each of those little victories are a little death for Seventeen’s cynicism; a chipping away. A little seed of Cody’s brand of hope takes root, awkward and begrudging, fond and tentative.
Then Order 66 happens. Cody’s efforts for a better life are in vain, and Cody himself-
Cody may never know that Seventeen was right abut just how helpless they were. Now he only knows that Seventeen is a traitor, apparently, because Seventeen — for once in his life — was the lucky one and his chip malfunctioned.
And Seventeen could say ‘I told you so’. He could rest, vindicated and resigned, in the fact that every dream Cody built up and everything he thought was worth dying for is pointless, now — as he always suspected it would be.
But it isn’t fair, even by Seventeen’s standards.
“What are you doing,” Rex will rasp, caught in a strange role reversal as Seventeen paints an armor set with Cody’s golden colors. “He’s not coming back, Seventeen. He can’t. It’s pointless to keep going after him, you need to stop.”
“No,” Seventeen will answer, unbothered, “I don’t think I will.”
“We can’t — we can’t keep hoping,” Rex says, because he means he will probably have a breakdown if he imagines there is even a pitiful possibility he could save his brothers and then have to turn away from that scrappy chance for the greater good and Rebellion, and all that. “We’ve got to move on.”
“Go on.” Seventeen will invite sincerely, one brow raised because he knows Rex better than that.
“Do you want him to shoot you?” Rex will finally yell, all knotted up at the thought of losing Seventeen too, even though it’s funny because Seventeen was never kind to Rex.
“He can try,” Seventeen will say, touching up the last of the paint. He will stand, wiping his fingers, and pick up his pack. “See you when we get back, then.”
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barcaatthemoon · 16 hours
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the truth iii || leah williamson x reader ||
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your first time back in spain after joining arsenal.
this is the final part to the truth. hope that anybody who followed along, enjoyed themselves.
it felt like a dream to be a part of the champion's league again. at first, you had been over the moon about everything. that is until you got the courtesy text from the barcelona girls that jenni was coming to the games. you knew to partially expect that. she may have left, but she was still going to support her friends at barcelona.
"hey, we're about to land," leah said softly as she nudged you. the last that she had known, you were fast asleep against her shoulder. the flight wasn't a very long one, but you had been eager to catch up on some sleep. "are you ready?"
"as i'll ever be." leah frowned at your response. she had watched you freak out after the texts had come in. it wasn't enough for jenni to come to barcelona to watch the champion's league final, but she had also made alexia ask if you'd join them.
you knew that she had asked other girls first, but most of them had refused to talk to you on her behalf. ona had even gone as far as to block the older player for nearly three weeks. alexia was the only one who had told you that, mainly as a courtesy since laia had also been invited. she didn't want you to feel left out, even if she knew the last thing you wanted to do was go out for dinner with your ex.
"hey, everything will be fine love, i promise," leah said as she gave you a peck on the cheek. "i know that we haven't really said anything to anybody else, but my offer still stands if you want me to come."
"are you sure?" you asked her. leah nodded. she knew that you'd need support, something to make sure that you didn't go running back to jenni. your national team friends would be doing that as well, but having leah there would be grounding for you.
things with leah were nothing like they had been with jenni. leah was a great fit for you. sometimes she could be a little shaky with communication, but with some gentle pushing, she'd open right up for you. leah had helped you gain back a lot of the confidence that jenni had seemingly stolen away after the breakup. she made you feel safe in a way that you had never known before.
"i love you," leah muttered as she pressed a kiss to the back of your hand.
"i love you too," you told her. moments later, the plane landed and the two of you were shuffling off of it.
"and the traitor has arrived!" mapi shouted as you walked with laia and leah towards the table. you knew that she was joking, as she was the first of your old club teammates to run over to hug you. she wrapped her arms around you tightly, and it was only alexia and sandra's hugs that rivaled mapi's.
"i see that you brought someone with you," cata teased as she slung her arm over your shoulder. you glanced over towards leah, who was standing sort of awkwardly behind you. "care for proper introductions?"
"leah, these are our opponents. opponents, this is my girlfriend, leah," you said. actually saying the words made your chest swell with pride. leah stepped forward and took your hand as she waved with her other.
"when did this start?" alexia asked, motioning between the two of you. truthfully, you had fallen a bit out of contact with everybody back in spain. it was hard to keep up after having cut all contact in germany. laia would remind you about answering texts, but that was only because some of your less reserved teammates would pester her constantly.
"seven months," you answered confidently. "she is good to me, i love her."
"unfortunately that does not stop captain talks." alexia and irene both stood up, ushering leah out with them. you took a seat next to ona and lucy, who were trying to hold hands under the table discreetly. that left the seat next to keira open for leah to take whenever she came back.
"so, you and leah?" lucy asked. there was a small smile on her face, one that didn't completely hide her surprise. ona had mentioned that you were dating one of her english teammates, but lucy had assumed it was alessia. that had been originally who ona tried to set you up with at arsenal, but your chemistry with leah had been undeniable.
"it's good to see you happy," jenni said. everybody glared at her, as if she had no right to speak to you. you understood and appreciated their protectiveness, but it felt unneccessary. "i am glad that you are doing okay."
"thank you, jenni," you said. the reply felt forced. you could tell that she wanted to ask for a moment alone with you, but nobody else at the table would have let that happen. you were honestly shocked that sandra and cata hadn't tried to squeeze you in between them.
an awkward quiet washed over the table as your girlfriend returned with your captains. leah took the empty seat in between you and keira, who immediately started to interrogate leah about your relationship. you smiled listening to leah tell keira and the rest of the table stories about your first couple of dates and when she realized that she loved you.
it should have been perfect, but you couldn't stop the guilt that gnawed at you. jenni sat quietly towards the head of the table. she looked rough, worse than you could ever remember seeing her. even after everything that had happened during the world cup, she hadn't looked this bad. it seemed that jenni was finally coming to terms with the fact that you were really done with her.
you had once been so caught up in her that she didn't think it would ever be possible. somehow, you had moved away and moved on with someone else. jenni had to admit that leah really was perfect for you in all of the ways that she hadn't been. the two of you were different enough to work out well. you and jenni had been too similar, which was fun at first, but it quickly became a problem. jenni knew how to hurt you in ways that would never occur to leah.
"excuse me, i should head back to my hotel." jenni rose from the table without much fanfare. you watched her leave, itching to follow her out to talk to her. leah watched you carefully, unsure of what to do. it terrified her to let you go out there, but she knew that you needed to get some things off of your chest.
"go, talk to her. i'll be out to check on you in five," leah whispered in your ear. you hesitated but left when she gave you a small nod. everybody stared at leah like she had just grown a second head.
"you're a better woman than i am williamson," lucy said as she watched you walk out of the restaurant.
"she needs this, i have to let it happen. i have to trust that she'll come back to me." leah took some deep breaths to steady her nerves. she could go into the world's most important football game calm as ever, but this was making her heart pound in her chest.
"jenni, what happened? a year ago you were doing fine. what's changed?" you asked your ex. jenni had come outside and promptly sat down on the sidewalk. you stood behind her, unsure of how close to get. you didn't want to give her the wrong impression, knowing that she had been drinking a bit over dinner.
"you've got a girlfriend, and it looks serious. you moved on, and i'm still stuck here thinking about you constantly. every single day something reminds me of you, and it sets me back to square one. i've tried to find someone to settle down with because that's all i want, but i can't stand anybody for more than a few weeks because they're not you," jenni rambled. she looked up at you with tears in her eyes, ones that she had been waiting to shed until you were with her. she wanted you to dry her tears and tell her that you'd come back, but that was never going to happen.
"i am sorry that you are going through this, i am, but there is nothing i can do anymore. i have leah, and i love her more than i've ever loved anybody. we were good together, great sometimes, but it was always so physical. it wasn't easy, but i learned how to step away from that with leah. you need to find someone who doesn't just want to fuck you. find somebody to talk to," you told her.
"i don't want to talk to anybody, but you."
"we never did much talking jenni. it's not what you want to hear, but maybe you need to grow up. there's more to relationships than fucking, but i don't know if you're ready to accept that kind of truth." you had heard about her relationship with alexia, the last one that had really been serious from the sounds of it. "maybe i'm not the one you should be talking to."
"go back inside please," jenni grumbled. she sounded serious, far more serious than what you had ever heard before. you went back inside, catching leah as she made her way to come bring you in. the two of you sat down at the table together, leah integrating you into the bit of conversation she'd started with some of barcelona's defenders on who was the most frustrating striker they'd ever had to mark.
you hadn't done much defending in your career, especially not whenever your coaches had discovered your speed. they had quickly pushed you from the backline to the front lines. mapi and ona both complained directly about you, inciting the whole table to start telling leah all sorts of stories about you from your barcelona days. it was nice, and if you noticed alexia slip outside, you didn't mention it, even going as far as to distract everybody with a youth team story or two.
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drvscarlett · 3 days
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FRESH OUT THE SLAMMER
Esteban Ocon x childhood bestfriend!reader
Summary: Esteban has been pining over his bestfriend for the longest time. How long will it take her to see that what she's looking for is right in front of her?
The Tortured Drivers' Department series
A/N: And the first person that I'll be crossing off the list is Estie bestie. I think he is probably one of the drivers that gives me the wholesome aura. Let me know what you think or if you wanna be added to the taglist.
Taglist. @tea-bobba @boiohboii @c-losur3 @haikyuen @stelena-klayley @stinkyjax @0710khj @jinimon-tr
Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you. Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to.
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02-13-2002
Dear Diary,
Today I met my first ami (ami is friend in french) and he is Esteban something long name Okon. He is so nice to me. He said hi and helped me swing on the swing sets. I hope I meet more ami like Esteban but he is my favoriteeeee!!!
-y/n.
6 years old Esteban was actually running away from class when he stumbled upon a girl swinging alone at the park's swing set. He frowns because he noticed that every kid at the park have someone to play with but she has no one. Esteban was in an internal battle to just leave it alone but he can't help but feel bad for her.
He walked to the girl and he sat next to the empty swing next to her.
Y/N looked at the stranger that just joined her. Her interest was piqued because no one wants to be around her. She blamed it in her inability to speak French so she was hesitant to scare off the potential play mate.
"I'm Esteban, you are new?" Esteban started.
Esteban's english was not perfect especially with a strong French accent but he can hold a good conversation. He can see how the excited grin appeared in her face.
"Y/N! You speak good, can we be friends?" she asked.
She extends her hands to the boy and Esteban shakes it.
"Mon ami"Esteban agrees.
There was a visible confusion in her face. Esteban mentally slaps himself as he forgot that she cannot speak french.
"It mean friends"he added.
"Mon ami Esteban" it rolls right in her tongue.
And although there was a great language barrier, they managed to stay there at the swing sets till it was time to go home for dinner. Their antics and their grand hand gestures helped them communicate with each other.
11-28-2002
Dear Diary,
I told Estie that I will be missing thanksgiving a lot because I don't live in US. His mom and dad cooked, we had our own version of thanksgiving. I'm so grateful to my mon ami, Estie.
-y/n
Usually, Esteban's afterschool routine was drop his bags and leave the house to meet up with his bestfriend, Y/N. They would go sit at the swing set for hours or maybe watch the television at Y/N's house. It was a routine that Mrs. Ocon has been familiar with ever since Y/N came into the picture.
"Maman, can I talk to you about something"
Esteban made a beeline to his mother as soon as he gets home this afternoon.
"Did you have any troubles in school?" Mrs. Ocon wondered.
"Not at all Maman" Esteban answers "I just need help with something Maman about Y/N"
Mrs. Ocon tried to hide the smile in her face as he mutters a soft "oh". Meanwhile, Esteban reached out a piece of paper from his bag.
"Maman I drew this at school, this is a tradition that Y/N misses in America"Esteban explains.
The paper was filled with drawings of stick figures sitting in a table. The table was filled with dishes messily drawn in a muddle of green, brown, and orange.
Mrs. Ocon looks at her son with confusion, she still didn't know what he needs help in.
"What are you trying to say Esteban?"she asked
"This 28 is the thanksgiving dinner and Y/N says that her parents will be busy. She told me its just like a normal dinner but you say thank you for everything you are grateful about"Esteban elaborates "Can we do that Maman and can we invite Y/N to join us"
"That's a wonderful gesture to do for your friend Esteban" Mrs Ocon coos.
Esteban breaks out into a grin with the agreement of his mother.
"But you will be helping me prepare the dishes okay?" Mrs. Ocon added
"Of course Maman, I'll do anything"
Esteban gives his Mother a tight hug. He was extremely grateful because he knows how much Y/N has been missing so many american things lately. He was just scared that she'll leave France and then go back to America then he will never see her again.
On the other hand, Mrs. Ocon can call it mother instincts but she called it from this moment that her son is in love with his bestfriend.
05-17-2005
Dear Diary,
I like reading a lot while my bestfriend Estie loves riding the small karts. I like going to school, Estie doesn't like that. It seems like were different with each other. I'm scared of losing my bestfriend, what should i do?
But I'll support him. I want him to be happy. Thats what bestfriends do.
-y/n
"I wanna be a race car driver"Esteban blurts out one time that they were watching those Formula 1 races on the television.
Y/N started laughing because she thought it was a joke but when she looked at him, his eyes were looking at the race cars with so much determination.
"Wait, you are serious?"
"Can't you picture me driving those cars? It's like being wind woosh" Esteban mimicked the movement of the cars.
"But its like dangerous, you could crash" Y/N argues.
They have seen some serious crashes in the times that they watched F1. Y/N couldn't forget that dogpile crash in Monaco just a few weeks ago, her heart nearly stopped when the car hits a marshal cleaning up debris.
"Then I'm going to train to be a good driver so I don't crash" Esteban confidently states.
"But what about school?"Y/N asked "You're not seriously leaving me there"
"Woah, I said I wanna be a race car driver"Esteban clarifies "I didn't say anything about leaving you. You are mon ami"
"But school Estie?"Y/N repeats
Both of them knows that Esteban never found a knack for the academics, his favorite class was physical education. As much as Y/N tries to encourage him to study, he didn't like to do that a lot. Esteban always said that the braincells of Y/N will be enough for them to share and to get through life.
"I really wanna be a race car driver"Esteban insisted.
Y/N knew Esteban very well that if he sets his mind to it then he is bound to do it. There is nothing else she can do but support it.
"Esteban Ocon, a grand prix winner" Y/N shows her encouragement "I could picture it the crowd goes roar and you step onto those podiums holding those big trophies"
Esteban grins at her enthusiasm.
"And then I could take you with me to watch them when you finish school"Esteban added "We could travel the world together when I become a driver"
"Esteban wait so if you do become a race driver then maybe I can meet Kimi"Y/N wondered.
"Wow you only want me to go to F1 for Kimi huh"
"Well its a good opportunity to meet the man, the myth, the legend"
06-16-2006
Dear Diary,
I'm just really really sad today. Estie will be moving far away from here. Maybe I only get to see him on the weekends. I'll miss my bestfriend, mon ami
-y/n
They were at the swing sets when Esteban broke the news that he was accepted to compete for karting competitions. Y/N was immediately ecstatic to hear this but there was a frown gracing Esteban's face.
"You just told me that you are gonna compete for go karting but why do you look so sad" Y/N inquires "Isn't this like the first step in being an F1 driver?"
It is but Esteban hadn't predicted how costly this whole thing will be and how sacrifices have to be made in order to reach his dreams.
"We have to leave the house"Esteban breaks the news.
"Leave?"Y/N was confused "I mean don't you really have to leave the house to go to the go karting place..but you'll come back right?"
He shakes his head and Y/N could feel the reason for the sad looks on his face. Her heart feels like cracking especially when Esteban starts to speak again.
"They sold the house to get me a kart" Esteban's voice was filled with so much sadness "They knew it was my dream and the whole family sees a lot of potential that I can do it. I just feel terrible that they have to make sacrifices to make my dreams come true"
They were merely ten years old but it was a lot of burden to carry and to understand. Y/N is at loss for words but she just grabbed Esteban's hands.
"Then you have to give your all and be the best race driver ever okay?"Y/N reminded him
Esteban looked at Y/N and there were stray tears leaving her eyes but she has a brave face on and an encouraging smile. He was lucky to have a family that believes in him and he was even more luckier because he gets to have another supporter in the form of his bestfriend.
"You make a lot of money so you can buy your home again and you can treat your parents out"Y/N says "You have to do well okay, we all believe in you Estie"
And its these words that kept repeating on Esteban's mind whenever he is on track.
11-23-2012
Dear Diary,
It's my birthday today. Did you believe that Estie waited till it turned midnight here in France just to call me. My bestfriend be setting up the standards for everyone. I got a cake in the morning from my classmates and then we went to have dinner. Sixteen, im getting old now.
-y/n
Esteban and Y/N had a tradition since they were kids that they will wait for each other's birthday because they wanted to be the first person to greet each other.
The minute that the clock strikes 12, Y/N's phone starts vibrating. She had a grin on her face upon seeing the name on the caller ID.
"Well hello there Mr. Lightning McQueen"Y/N greeted.
"Happiest birthday to my sweetest mon ami"Esteban cheered on the other line "You know that I wish you all the best things in life and all of happiness that life has to offer"
"I'm surprised you had time to call, don't you have to wake up early later for your race?" Y/N questioned.
It was true, they don't get to talk as much whenever Esteban was in a competition season. Y/N doesn't mind it that much because Esteban will message whenever he can.
"I wouldn't miss my favorite person's day" Esteban answers.
His remarks made Y/N blush. It was a good thing that this is just a phone call conversation or she had some explaining to do.
"That makes me miss you way way more Estie"Y/N sighs "I hope I can see you again"
"Is that your birthday wish?" Esteban jokes
"My birthday wish is an F1 seat for you" Y/N declares.
"Hey, stop wishing about me. It's your day wish for YOUR day" Esteban argues.
"Then I wish for my bestfriend to get an F1 seat so I can meet Kimi"Y/N rephrases.
They spent a good time talking to each other. Y/N updates Esteban about those girls in her class that she wants to be friends with and how difficult physics assignments are. Esteban mentions about the trainings and the different race drivers that he met on track.
Esteban knows that he might probably regret staying up late but everything always seems worth it when it comes to Y/N.
"Well its really nice catching up to you but school starts at 7 tomorrow"Y/N yawns a bit "You must be pretty tired as well with all the training"
"Don't you worry about me here, I'm doing okay"
"You are the best Estie" Y/N said "Goodnight estie, love you"
Love. That's the word that Esteban has been pondering about a lot lately. It was that stage of life that people are getting girlfriends and boyfriends because they love that person. The only person that Esteban thinks he can love and be in a relationship with is Y/N.
First he thought, maybe its because Y/N's a close friends. Many people get the lines blurred between friendship and relationship. However, Esteban is beginning to realize that he likes Y/N more than a friend.
But, Esteban was scared of scaring her off or losing her so he settles with this.
"Good night Y/N, love you more"
01-01-2017
Dear Diary,
So Esteban and I went to our first party because Esteban finally had a permanent team for the upcoming 2017 season. We had a few drinks to celebrate and I met a boy. His name is Vincent. I think we hit it off pretty well.
-y/n
Esteban has this all night planned with him announcing that he is getting a permanent seat in Formula 1 to inviting her to the races to confessing his feelings and then hopefully get a New Year Eve's kiss.
However, here he is in the bathroom chickening out with his plans.
"C'mon Esteban, you can do this" he preps himself.
In his mind, he had everything written and prepared. He will start talking about the childhood how he was so glad to meet her and to her being the number 1 fan since day 1. Then he will move to his realizations and such when he was moving up to F1.
"Just say what you feel and be true. It's gonna work out"Esteban tells his reflection to the mirror.
With one spray of water to the face, Esteban exits the bathroom to find Y/N in the sea of crowd.
He searches for her and he was glad to see that she was still at the same place where he left her. However, his face scrunches up because there was another guy around her.
"Estieee!"Y/N calls out "I want you to meet Vincent, he is my new friend"
Esteban eyes the man because he didn't even look at him. Vincent's eyes were only looking at Y/N's and Esteban could feel his heart drop. He knows that look all too well because that is how he looks at her.
There goes his chance.
12-25-2017
Dear Diary,
This is my first christmas with Vincent as my boyfriend. Were still getting used with the presents thing and I think I overwhelmed him a bit. But I think that its going well, Mom loves Vincent. Dad and Esteban doesn't seem to think that Vincent is good for me.
-y/n
"Okay, time to open christmas presents!" Y/N excitedly announce.
Everyone gathers at the Christmas tree. It was a yearly tradition in the household that after lunch they go one-by-one in opening the gifts. Y/N always loved presents so she would always go first.
"Merry Christmas darling"Vincent says as he gives his present.
Esteban manages to keep his expression straight but he would have gagged if he could. He was filled with so much jealousy that he could have been in that position right now if he didn't chicken out.
Also, there was something so irritating and wrong about Vincent. He just don't have any proof about it. Mr. Y/L/N has a similar theory which he discussed with Esteban when they were in the garage earlier.
Y/N opens the box and she saw a gold chain with the letter V. It was a very beautiful necklace and it seems expensive as well. She musters up a smile as she thanks her boyfriend.
"This is beautiful Vincent" Y/N admires as she takes it off the box.
"I know."Vincent agrees "When I saw it in the store, I immediately thought of you"
The thoughts were sweet but Esteban couldn't help himself.
"Mate"Esteban calls "Y/N doesn't wear gold"
It was the truth that Y/N never wore any gold jewelry but since it was a gift, she was putting on a smile. Esteban knows that Y/N is just being appreciative to be respectful. Frankly, he was a bit pissed off that Vincent didn't even pay attention to that simple details of Y/N.
"Oh, I didn't know that"Vincent sheepishly grins "I didn't notice that, maybe I should take it b-"
"No, no. I'll wear it, its the thought that counts"Y/N settles.
"Next year, I'll get you a better gift" Vincent assures.
Mr. Y/L/N and Esteban could only share an eye roll, they really hope that they don't get to see Vincent next year around.
06-26-2018
Dear Diary,
Today is emotionally draining and I find it hard to sleep with a lots of thoughts in my head. It feels really different to see Estie in an F1 car. I simply can't believe it that he went to watching race cars to driving one. It sucks about whats about to happen but I am so proud of my bestfriend, mon ami Estie. I will always be proud of him no matter what.
-y/n
One of the worst things that could probably happen is to not finish a race but the feeling intensifies when it happened on your home race. Esteban wanted to kick himself for his misfortune. He didn't even get a lap in when Gasly collided him thus ending their races.
"Stupid" Esteban repeats the video all over again.
The door gently opens and Esteban would have shouted to leave him alone but Y/N peeked out of the door. It was like instant moment of peace for Esteban then its back to feeling like a failure because he suddenly remembered that everyone he loves have watched him DNF live.
"Estie, they told me you were here"Y/N greeted "You wanna talk?"
"I rather not" Esteban quickly answered.
"Hey, its just one bad weekend Estie"Y/N sits next to him.
"This is that one weekend that should have been a good weekend. Everyone is watching me and I didn't even start a lap before getting fucked"
The crack in Esteban's voice signifies that it was extremely heartbreaking for him to have this performance for his home race. Y/N could only tap his shoulder for comfort.
"Estie, you will have a lot of weekends ahead of you and you still have a lot more weekends that we will be watching. Don't be too hard on yourself" Y/N comforts "You can bounce back like you always do"
"You believe in me way too much"
"You already came a long way Estie. From sitting and watching them race every Sunday to actually driving a car. You should be proud of yourself" Y/N reminds.
There was something else painful in Esteban's heart. The recent issues regarding the team doesn't guarantee him for a seat in the coming year. It was another reason why he felt so down with what happened.
"Would you still be proud of me even if I don't have an F1 seat?" Esteban asked.
"What? What happened Estie?" Y/N was shocked.
"I might not have a team to drive for next year. I don't know if anyone is going to pick me with my DNFs and everything, I'm not a good candidate"
Esteban sheds the tears he has been trying to hide. He knew that this was a safe place to talk to Y/N. Everything just felt so heavy.
"Oh my god Estie, I'm sorry"Y/N consoles her bestfriend.
The two bestfriend knew how much this Formula 1 seat meant. It was a lot of struggles and sacrifice to reach this moment. One moment they were just kids going on karting season and now Esteban was getting his F1 seat. Now its being taken away, its like waking up from a good dream.
Y/N brushes away her tears and started to pace as if devising a plan.
"Don't you dare think that just because you are not getting a team next year is that you are a bad driver. You are a great driver okay,remember that." Y/N encourages "Take the year off. Improve your skills, get better then make a comeback"
If Y/N believes that he can make a comeback then Esteban believes that as well.
02-03-2019
Dear Diary,
I had a fight with Vincent. He told me that I am spending too much time with Esteban. He wanted me to stay away from Estie like who is he to tell me what to do.
I told him to be more patient with Estie because he really needs support right now. I hate how stupid and irrational Vincent is.
-y/n
Esteban was just picking up one of his cousin at the club when he saw a familiar figure at the alley. He just wanted to say hi to Vincent but when he noticed that he was holding hands with a girl, who is definitely not Y/N, Esteban started to follow.
He watched as how Vincent pulled the girl into a kiss and all Esteban could see was red.
"OHMYGOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"The girl shouts.
Esteban lands a solid punch. He doesn't care if Vincent is drunk or whatever but he should never cheat especially on a woman as amazing as Y/N.
"I tried to give you a chance, you fucking ruined it"Esteban lands another punch at Vincent.
"What the fuck man, get off!"Vincent screams.
The fact that Esteban was willing to let go and watch Y/N be happy with Vincent. He was willing to do that because Vincent makes Y/N happy but seeing this. Its not gonna happen anymore.
Two bouncers of the club broke them off. The girl immediately tended to the beaten up Vincent, Esteban dust himself off as he sets out a threat.
"You better come clean and tell her the truth or else I fucking will" Esteban warns.
"FUCK YOU MAN" Vincent shouts back "I know you like her! I know you are just waiting for an opportunity to ruin us"
"I'm not the one who ruined the fucking relationship Vincent, it was you who fucking cheated on Y/N"
Esteban was seething as he returned to the car. His mind thumbs to call Y/N but he knows that it will break Y/N's heart terribly if he tells her the truth.
09-28-2019
Dear Diary,
I hate this feeling of being ina fight with Esteban. He said some things that aren't true and I said some things that must have hurt him a lot. I don't think we will be okay any time soon. I just wish I could have turned back time to talk about the whole thing more carefully.
-y/n
There are not many things that Esteban and Y/N disagrees with each other. It was quite rare to see them fight each other because they fit perfectly just like that. Usually, their fights are just simple misunderstandings and harmless that they will make up in a day or so.
This time its different.
Everything started when Y/N explained that she'll be moving to Vincent's apartment, something that triggered Esteban greatly. It was apparent that Y/N had no idea of what happened at the club so Esteban told the whole truth.
Y/N is in complete denial and called Esteban a liar. So here they are with their raised tones.
"If you are my fucking friend then you would have told me the minute you saw it" Y/N explained "Why didn't you fucking call"
"I was protecting you. I know it would hurt you to know the truth and I told Vincent that he has to be the one to come clean" Esteban fights back.
"Protecting me with a grand lie?"
"I thought you don't fucking believe me that Vincent is cheating" Esteban frustrated with the argument.
"I don't know who to fucking believe because you would have told me right away if its real" Y/N cried.
The emotions were all too high, they were a ticking time bomb ready to explode. Esteban could not hide the disappointment in his face that Y/N didn't believe him.
"You don't trust me" Esteban realized.
"No Esteban, its not like-"
"Then what is it like?" Esteban asked "It seems as if you totally forgot that it was me who you could always trust no matter what. You forgot that I was your bestfriend since the beginning that was always there."
Y/N didn't want to get all the blame so she strikes back again even though tears were threatening to fall.
"You know its very fucking ironic that you say that" Y/N's words were like bullets "You didn't fucking trust me to believe you either that's why you didn't call"
Esteban was speechless and then he shakes his head.
"Where are you going?"Y/N chases after.
"I'm going home, away from you"
"Fine. Don't fucking come back" Y/N slams the door.
There were a lot of things said and done. They both don't know how they regretted everything.
03-29-2020
Dear Diary,
This whole lockdown is a little bit fucked. I was cleaning up some files in my computer and I saw a photo of me and Estie. I wonder if he is still mad at me and I wonder how he is doing with lockdowns. I wanted to reach out to him but I can't help but think back how much I must have hurt him before.
Vincent is a bit stressed with the whole lockdown situation. He gets frustrated easily especially with the new work set-up. I'm sure he will get better at handling his emotions, I just have to understand this for the moment.
-y/n
Esteban was scrolling through his instagram feed. He had nothing much to do since the lockdown kept everyone inside their homes. There was this feeling of uncertainty when can they race again but Esteban could only hope that they can race again even by May or June.
His hands stopped when he saw the newest instagram post of Y/N. It was a photo of her cooking a dish and the next set of photos showcases more of her lockdown diaries.
There was a bitter smile gracing on Esteban's face when he saw the photo of Vincent. It seems as if Vincent hasn't told the truth yet or maybe he lied to Y/N that's why they are still together. Esteban feels like he could punch the guy if he ever sees him again.
Not a day goes by that he regrets that fight he had with Y/N. It was just utterly pointless that it happened and he misses her. He hopes that she is okay and maybe after this whole lockdown is over then he'll go and find her again.
With heavy sighs, he scrolls past the post without liking it.
08-01-2021
Dear Diary,
Esteban is a grand prix winner. I'm really so proud of him, I shed some tears when he reach the final lap. I don't know if its the emotions or the adrenaline but I also messaged him and I was surprised that he answered. It seems like this is a start of a good thing.
-y/n
There were no words to describe how amazing the feeling was to be on top of the podium. Esteban could only imagine that feeling before but now he is living it. Everything felt like a wild dream because when he started the race he didn't even know that he will end up being a race winner after.
Collapsing to his bed, he finally opens his phone and it was immediately buzzing with so many messages. There was one message conversation that catches his attention
Y/N: Hi Esteban! I hope this is still your number. I watched the race today and I'm really so proud of you. I want to waive a white flag because this is everything that you have dreamed of all these years. There are no words to describe how proud I am of you. You have come a long way from that kid by the swing set. You will always have my support (even if we have a cold war). Y/N: I'm also sorry. I said some things that was really not good for me to say. I'm sorry I'm doing this over a text and I'm sorry that it took me this long. Y/N: I hope you are okay. You better drink up some champagne, you deserve it Grand Prix Winner.
There was this warmth that seems to envelope him as he reads the messages. It feels nice to know that she stills supports him even though they are not talking.
Esteban catches himself smiling through his phone screen confirming that his feelings for her still exist.
"Oh fuck it, this feeling never goes away doesn't it"
01-02-2022
Dear Diary,
Vincent proposed to me today in front of a crowd today. Mentally I wanted to say no because I don't think that I am ready for it or maybe its just the fact that I'm not sure that Vincent is ready for it. I just said yes because there was a large group of people. I felt like I was put on the spot and I didn't like it.
Maybe, its just the nerves.
-y/n
Mrs. Ocon had been keeping tabs with Mrs. Y/L/N even when the two had stopped talking to each other. They often update with each others lives when they get their nails done. Today, Mrs. Ocon couldn't believe the news shared to her so she hurried downstairs to find Esteban.
"Is it true Esteban?" Mrs. Ocon asked
"What's true maman?"
Esteban has just finished doing simulations so he have not been with his phone for quite some time. His mother immediately shoved her phone to his hand. Esteban squints as she watched the video of someone getting proposed at the Eiffel Tower.
"Maman, I'm not getting married anytime soon"Esteban jokes.
He has been pestered multiple times about getting married or getting a girlfriend but Esteban didn't want any of those. Nothing could compare to Y/N so he would rather not date anyone else.
"Just look more closely"Mrs Ocon insisted.
Scrunching up his nose, Esteban finally noticed the familiar faces of the couple. And it feels like a deja vu from his experience so many years ago when he almost confessed for New Years Eve.
Only this time, the pain has been magnified.
"That's good for Y/N, I'm.."Esteban holds his breath "happy for her"
"Honey...It's okay to not feel happy.."
Mrs Ocon has been one of the witness of everything and she knows how much her son loves Y/N. She extended a hug and soon the tall French man just let all his tears fall.
01-09-2023
Dear Diary,
I called it off, Vincent cheated on me and there was another girl on the side. He got her pregnant. I felt so stupid because I have been ignoring so many red flags all these years, I should have known better. I don't know what to fucking do, I hate him so much.
"What the fuck is wrong with me"
Y/N was a mess and anyone else who have been confronted with the reality that they have been in a fucked up relationship for so long will be a complete mess.
"There is nothing wrong with you Y/N" Esteban repeated "It was not your fault that he cheated"
"I was so stupid Estie, I wasted so many years for him"
This has been an ongoing process for a while now. Its been a good two weeks since they broke up but Y/N was still stuck in a period of asking questions and crying.
"I want my fucking life back and I can't get it back"Y/N laments.
Esteban doesn't know what he could do to help but he just became the shoulder that she can lean on. It was a good thing that there weren't much to do yet, he can still be with Y/N for a while.
"You know on the brighter side of life, you are still lucky that you didn't marry him" Esteban suggested "Like imagine all the divorce and process you have to go through if you did marry him"
"I might have ugly children if I married Vincent" Y/N scoffs.
"He is not your problem anymore Y/N, just ignore him"Esteban encourages.
Y/N lets out a frustrated cry as she messes up her hair again.
"I can't just fucking ignore him. He have been with me for a good period of my life and people just expect me to move on and go on with my life. I lost so many things about myself that I don't even trust myself after him"
Tears started falling from her eyes. She wipes them up as Esteban guided her to a chair.
"I'm sorry Y/N, here lets take a seat and I'll get you water" Esteban said before leaving to go to the kitchen.
There was something so nice to have Esteban around. Even if she shouts or screams like that, Esteban is still patient and kind with her. He was not rushing her to move past what she feels, he allows her to speak.
"You know, I can survive on my own" Y/N mutters.
"I know"Esteban agrees as he handed her the water "But I wanted to be here for you. You have always been there for me when I'm at my lowest of lows, I wanna be there for you now"
It was rare to see Y/N's smiles nowadays but with Esteban saying stuffs like that, she can't help but smile. She was very grateful to have Esteban around. She didn't know how she could survive without Esteban's help.
"Thanks estie
02-18-2023
Dear Diary,
Is it too soon to open up my heart again? I really want to try but I am scared. Maybe this is what happens when you've been in a shitty relationship for so long.
I also know that I dont wanna mess up things. If I do mess up things, I'm not going to just miss someone but I'll miss that boy I met at the swingset.
Maybe this year can do me good.
-y/n
"Esteban for a driver, you are pretty slow driving normal cars"Y/N teased.
"I have to be careful, accidents always happen and I don't wanna injure you before a flight" Esteban argues.
Esteban unloads all their bags. The two of them are going abroad however they are going to different countries. Y/N is going back to her old American home and she might be there for a while. On the other hand, Esteban is going to Bahrain for the pre-testing.
"You sure you have everything?" Esteban asked "Passports? Tickets? chargers?"
"Hey Mr. I forgot my passport, dont lecture me about forgetting things"Y/N smirked.
"Just double check and don't be like me then"
For onlookers they look like a couple about to travel together. How Esteban wishes that was the case but they are just a couple of bestfriends.
"Gonna miss you mon ami"Y/N hugs Esteban "I think I see my gate over there, call me okay"
"Of course I will"Esteban assures.
Y/N was already walking a decent few meters away when Esteban started to debate if he should tell her now. It seems spontaneous but this is a now or never situation.
"Wait up Y/N!"
"Did you forget something?"she teased
She turned her head and found Esteban catching up to her. There were beads of sweat on his forehead and Y/N could tell that Esteban was a bit nervous about something.
"Actually there is something I wanna tell you" Esteban starts.
"Oh what about it?"
She tilts her head in curiosity as Esteban takes in a large deep breath.
"I never forgot my passport. I was just using it as an excuse so I can spend more time with you. I didn't wanna go away from you because I miss you and I love you"Esteban declares.
"Aww Estie, you know I love you too-"
"No, Y/N its not that kind of love"Esteban clarifies "I love you as in I love you in a non-platonic way. I love you in a way that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you in a way that I'll do everything so that I'm always coming home to you"
There was silence between the two of them. Esteban was looking for any signs of disgust or rejection in Y/N's eyes but so far those emotions doesn't seem to appear. He feels brave enough to continue further.
"Look, I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend. I know you need time to heal from whatever happened to you. I won't rush you. I have waited since were little kids, this is nothing compared to that. Allow yourself to heal and be yourself. Explore the world. Then if you want me, I'm just here waiting for you"
Esteban's word was filled with so much love and adoration. It was the respect that Y/N needed for having suffer a bad relationship. How could she be so blind not to see what's in front of her all along.
Y/N leans to hug him.
"I won't answer this for now, wait for me to be healed okay?"she whispers.
"Of course Y/N, always waiting for you."
05-01-2024
Dear Diary,
Almost a year and so since my last entry.
I have visited a lot of places to find myself and to heal myself. It was a beautiful journey going to foreign places and trying new things. Actually gave me a new perspective in life that makes me confidently say that I am healed. Some things take a lot of time before we tend to appreciate it.
I have someone waiting for me for almost 22 years already. I'm finally going home to him.
-y/n
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Text
the fake date plot | part 8.
Summary: Gryffindors, seventh years, classmates, unrequited love. Just a few things Y/N and James Potter had in common. When a brilliantly dumb plan is hatched the two end up getting something a little different than what they wanted.
Warnings for the Series: oh, this is a slowburn now. Or at least that's the plan.
Pairing: James Potter x reader
Word Count: 1.8k
A/N: yeah I know I've been gone for a year... I have no words, my bad
Previous Part | (Series Chapter List)
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Heads turned when you and James walked into the Great Hall laughing as you held a bunch of stuff and he held ten times more in his arms than you did. It took a lot of convincing you but James Potter had money and liked to spend it. Your ideas of currency were very different and to him all this money was like spending only five galleons. So you let him get a bunch of stuff for your birthday. 
James was pleased with himself. Giving gifts to people made him feel so good inside. He hated receiving a bunch of them though, probably because he could have whatever he wanted without question. When you reached the table you set down everything and started laughing as you took the stuff from James so he could sit down as well. 
“Can you believe we both forgot our wands and we were already at Hogsmeade?” 
“That’s a lot of stuff,” Sirius said. 
“Yeah. I couldn’t get this one to stop so I now have a bunch of stuff. Thank Merlin I need it though.” 
Lily cleared her throat. “Are you coming to the party tonight? I mean it’s your birthday after all.” 
“I’m coming. No point in staying in my bed alone just because it’s my birthday.” You turned to look at James, pointing at him. “I do not need a new outfit.” 
He held his hands up in surrender. For the rest of Saturday until the party, you didn’t see James at all. He and Sirius were leading quidditch drills in preparation for their upcoming game. Remus and Peter looked up when you entered their dorm. They were getting used to you just showing up. Remus was about to go back to looking at his scrapbooking project when you shoved an invitation in his face. 
“To Sir Peter and Sir Remus, the girls of dorm room nine would like to invite you to our getting ready event.” 
“Do you do this often?” 
You nodded. “Life’s more fun this way.” 
Without any hesitation, the two agreed to come with you. The girls’ dorm was arranged like theirs. But the decorations threw them for a loop. Bubbles, music, and a very sweet scent colored the air. When the marauders got ready for a party, the most they’d do is play music. This was basically a whole new world. They were pushed into fancy skincare and a scalding shower with water from the depths of hell. 
“Remus, how is your hair dry already? I wish I had your porosity.” 
“My what?” 
Mary laughed. “Porosity. It’s just your hair type, never mind. Are we all ready to go?” 
Your rather large group took your time heading down to the Slytherin dungeons. Even though you guys didn’t get along very well, Gryffindors and Slytherins were always invited to each other’s parties. The bass of the music could be heard from outside the common room. You couldn’t help but laugh at Regulus and Sirius already bickering, both with an empty cup in their hands. They had started making up but obviously it took some time and they were still brothers after all. Friendly bickering was in their dna. 
You spotted James on the couch… talking to Xeno. Taking in a deep breath, you went over anyway. Your boyfriend turned his head first, smiling as you came over. The blond boy next to him was slightly stunned. Your outfit was a dress, with lots of skin exposed. You wanted to adjust but chose not to. The literal climax of your plan was happening tonight and you still wanted it to feel as real as possible. James looked good sitting on the couch and everyone noticed as they snuck glances while doing their own thing. It was the collar of a shirt peeking out under the rolled up sleeves of his quidditch jumper and the rips in his jeans. He has to do it on purpose and is aware of what he looks like. 
James extended an arm and his hand fell on your waist as he pulled you closer. “Hi, bug.” 
You sat on his lap and laid your head on his shoulder trying to ignore the piercing eyes from the boy you actually cared about. But you had to. Looking desperate for Xeno wasn’t the way to win him. James wrapped his arms around you while you held his drink for him, not bothering with getting one for yourself. 
“What up?” 
“Tired,” you said with a sigh. 
“You just got here.” 
That seemed to draw the attention of all your friends who were hoping you wouldn’t leave. Even if you were all doing your own thing separately, everyone still needed to be there. James covered your body as you wiggled around trying to get comfortable. Without a second thought, you pulled down the sleeves of his quidditch jumper. He laughed as he realized what you wanted. 
“I know but I was up really late and I kind of have a headache now.” 
“You do?” James asked in earnest. 
“A bit.” 
“You don’t have to stay. We can cancel all our plans tonight if you want to get some rest.” 
The tone of James’ voice made you look up at him. There was no playfulness in his eyes. He was very serious about everything. You gave him a smile. 
“I don’t want to cancel our plans. I’ll just take a nap here and then I’ll feel better.” 
“Okay. Accio, headphones.” 
James handed them to you. Music was already playing, at a very quiet volume, when you put them on. You figured they must have been connected to an enchanted music player. Adjusting yourself once more, you leaned back against your boyfriend with a smile and closed your eyes. Your friends swooned as you did so. In the middle of a loud and hectic scene, you were peaceful. 
James observed his talk with Xeno, trying not to be suspicious. Every so often, he would cast his eyes down to your sleeping form. He was still interested. He wouldn’t keep looking at you if he didn’t care at all. 
“Alright guys, I’ll see you back at Gryf,” James said as he got up and picked you up again. “I’m getting my lady to a bed and then we can keep the party going.” 
Since the younger kids were coming back to Slytherin from Hogsmeade to start their Halloween party, the older students were going to move to Gryffindor in about twenty minutes. They waved their goodbyes to James and promised to find him right away when the party moved upstairs. 
You woke up as James entered the common room and started towards the stairs back to his dorm. 
“Why do we always end up like this?” 
James looked down. “Hello, bug, how was your nap?” 
“Delightful. And I’m now very excited.” 
“Excited?” 
“Yes.” 
James wore a goofy grin as the two of you went inside the dorm. The two of you stood side by side in the bathroom as you brushed your teeth and freshened up. You both sat in the middle of his bed, now with an awkward silence. 
“Should we lay down and just let it happen naturally? No one else uses this enchanted muggle projector so the professor just lets us keep it. There are a good amount of movies here.” 
“Okay.” 
You and him got comfortable on the bed, cuddling ever so slightly. James’ left hand sat just under your breast as his thumb gently caressed what was beneath it. Your hand snaked down his body and took an experimental squeeze of his pants. The movie went on without more touches until halfway through. You stiffened up before relaxing at the fingers going under the waistband of your panties. He turned your head to look at him. James watched with lust in his eyes as he watched his fingers pleasure you. It was all of five seconds before your lips crashed onto each other and you moved to the edge of the bed. 
Nearly all of the sixth and seventh and dreaded eighth years moved up to the party in Gryffindor. Not seeing James right away, the others decided to go looking. Remus squeaked and everyone else peeked into the crack in the door. James’ hands squeezed your ass before moving slowly up your body until they were underneath the jumper he made you, fingers trying to undo your bra. You both laughed as he struggled a bit. Eventually, the bra was off, leaving you in just your panties and sweater. 
“They’re looking. How long do you think before they close the door?” James whispered against your lips. 
“I give it two more minutes. Is it just the marauders?”  
“I can see Dorcas, Lily, and Xeno’s friends. The plan is going swimmingly.” He leaned back, not caring that the others could hear. “Hey, you know we don’t have to do this. It’s okay.” 
You leaned back and that made James move his hands from under your jumper. 
“Bug, I’m serious. I will not have sex with you unless you’re one hundred percent sure.” 
“I want to. I’m just nervous.” 
James chuckled. “Hey, I’m nervous too.” 
“Really?” 
“Yeah. Do you not believe me?” 
“You always seem so sure of yourself.” 
“Being sure of school or quidditch is a lot different from romance or sex. Let’s take it slow, okay?” 
“Okay… Can I take your shirt off?” 
“Yeah, love. Can I take off yours?” 
You nodded. The door slammed followed by someone yelling sorry the moment James started lifting the hem of your sweater. The two of you couldn’t help but laugh. Reassuring James now that everyone was gone that you actually did want this, you continued feeling up and down each other’s upper body. He groped at your boobs, running a thumb over your nipples. 
“These are gorgeous.” 
“Shut up.” 
“I’m serious. So fuckin gorgeous.” 
“James,” you moaned as he took one in his mouth. 
“Can I fuck you, love?” 
“Absolutely.” 
You scurried up onto the bed in the most undignified fashion, making James laugh. He followed suit. James groaned as he started to sink into you, pausing when your nails dug into his skin. “Are you okay?” 
“It’s just hurts a bit.” 
“Do you want me to stop?” 
“No. Keep going.” 
He went slower, kissing you as he did to try and distract you. When he sunk in all the way, he checked in on you again. James waited for you to open your eyes. 
“We good?” 
“Yeah, please move.”
Your mouth dropped open as James started pumping. He smiled in satisfaction that you were feeling just as good as him. Maybe he knew what he was doing, just a little. You whimpered his name a little as you grabbed at his biceps. 
“You feel so good, Y/N. So warm and fit me  just right.” 
He also felt warm inside you. He shouted your name before finishing inside you. The sheets stuck to your naked and sweaty bodies as you both tried to come down for your highs. James pulled you closer until you were on top of him. 
“That was amazing. I’m really glad we chose to do it with each other.” 
You pecked him on the lips. “I really enjoyed it… We should probably put on clothes before everyone comes in.”
THIS TAGLIST:
@starsval @helloitsmeeeeeee @callsigndiamond @isabela30 @rachelccollier @ghostkingblake @b3t0xic @ttulipwritezz @caelum-the-part-time-nihilist @superduckmilkshake @sendnuwudes @prongsprincessworld @slightlynotslightlyobsessing @wildernessflora @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @mommymilkerfanclub @amandachrystinallc @lupinsbookshelf @harrysgoldenwatermelon @loving-and-dreaming @that-simp-sin @bubybubsters @peachesgaeass @jellyfishlioncrab @cenkisabibl @sometimeseverythingsucks @6cexey
PERMANENT TAGLIST:
@venomsvl @peaches-n-sunscreen @summerellaz @sambucky8 @9daykrisr @thebitchinleo @23victoria @scarlets-widow @pagetpagetpagetpaget @lovexnatasha @awesomebooklover17 @1234-angelika @imatrisk @blackreaderatrisk @princess-jules47 @alexloveskili @a-marie-a @siriuslysirius1107​ @i-have-no-life-charlie
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melbatron5000 · 3 days
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Maggie, Maggie
#1 Do not take my theories to Neil! None of them, nohow!
#2 Big fat spoiler, which I suppose I should have said on my previous theories, but hey. Big fat spoiler!
Here we go, I think I know something new.
I've seen a few blogs where people have suggested that Maggie is Jesus 2.0. I didn't think so at first, but now I do. Maggie is Jesus 2.0, and Crowley and Aziraphale damn well know it. Here's my evidence:
See this post about how I think Crowley and Aziraphale are hiding something. Hiding someONE? Yeah, I think so. Who the hell would they be hiding? Who would an angel and demon who averted Armageddon be hiding, especially if they are expecting a second go 'round? The BIG one, as Crowley says? Fucking Jesus, that's who. Okay. Now we're cooking with gas.
Maggie is clothing-coded as both a demon and an angel. Y'know, much like Adam is described in Good Omens the novel. "Part demon, part angel, all human."
Maggie is a bit of a goodie two-shoes. "Never was that sort of teenager, never wanted to drink, no judgment." Oh, yeah? A little better than other people, are you? Not in a hoity-toity way, just, a little better than others. A little.
Loved that record store since she was a baby, huh? How did she remember it since she was a baby? Much like Adam remembered the other two babies he was in the hospital with, as described in Good Omens the novel. "You never forget your first friends."
Maggie calls Aziraphale an angel. Not as if she knows, but as if she subconsciously knows. If she is Jesus 2.0, I don't think she's come into her powers yet.
Aziraphale expects her to be able to sense the archangels when they come to ask about Gabriel and the 25 Lazarii miracle. And the whole time he's asking her about the record, he's looking out the window very nervously, repeatedly. I've seen a few people note that a car horn sounds and he looks at it anxiously, and that does happen, but he is anxiously looking out the window the whole time. What is he watching for? In case someone notices him talking to Jesus, maybe? And when she doesn't understand what he's talking about with the archangels, he shrugs it off and refuses to explain, as if he has suddenly remembered that of course she won't be able to sense them, not yet, anyway.
The ball: Not only does she want to stay behind and help without knowing what's going on (very brave and generous), she invites the demons in by mistake, AND Aziraphale can't miracle her to go with Crowely and forget all about this. He tries in a bit of a panic, then gives up, as if he's remembering that oh yeah, he won't be able to miracle her, she's freaking Jesus.
That's why "miracles don't work like that." It's not that Aziraphale can't miracle people to fall in love, it's that he can't miracle Jesus. At all.
That light in her record store. You know, the one that looks EXACTLY LIKE ADAM'S LIGHT in the first season? (Thank you @youryurigoddess for pointing out that you had these screen shots!)
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The main reason Crowley and Aziraphale are so nervous about Gabriel showing up is because they are scared he is spying on them and will notice Jesus. The audience assumes Gabriel is scary enough on his own, and pay no attention to the fact that A/C are trying to keep him clear of noticing ANYTHING out of the ordinary.
Nina is Mary Magdeline.
The question that I do have is: What did Maggie do that had the same power as a 25 Lazarii miracle?? Because my entire theory revolves around Crowley and Aziraphale knowing -- or suspecting? Or searching for and being closer than even they know? -- that Maggie is Jesus, or will be; Saraqael being in on it; and them hiding whatever the BIG miracle was actually for and the audience assuming they are hiding the Gabriel miracle -- which they are not, although they are ALSO hiding the Gabriel miracle.
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winterspiderpurrs · 3 days
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Bucky was just exiting the debrief room after returning from a mission with Sam when he spotted Tony and Steve talking to each other. They were both looking at what Bucky recalls is an ipad, swiping images across the screen. Steve nodded along as Tony rattled on. Tony glances up when he enters the room and waves him over.
" First, I'm still going to do what I want. But what do you think of Peter getting his own place?"
Bucky blinks, looks at Steve, and then back at Tony.
" He likes living with May for the most part. He already has an apartment you set up for him in the tower, as well as a room at the compound and your lake house. Plus, if he isn't there, he visits Ned"
Steve nods and points to the ipad,
" and he seems like a fella who wouldn't want you to buy him a duplex. In Queens or not."
" He is in college. He needs privacy, especially with the Spideymonkey gig he still insisted on doing."
Steve and Bucky move to look at each other. They know what Tony isn't saying. That Peter needs a place he could bring someone back to.
" Just talk to the guy and see if he wants that."
Steve squints for a moment at Bucky when he says that.
**RING RIIINNNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGG**
Bucky pulls his phone out of his pocket and looks at the screen. It's Peter calling.
Tony, being Tony, looks over and notices as well who is calling. It doesn't even pass through his mind why Peter would be calling Bucky.
" Oh hey, let me talk to him," states Tony and he reaches for the phone.
Bucky was already in the process of answering and was moving the phone out of reach. In those few moments, the phone accidentally went to speaker mode.
" No hey its my phone."
" Just let me see it I paid for it"
Bucky ends up clenching the phone too hard in his metal hand and ends up muting the phone, but the speaker is still on.
Peter's voice comes through.
" Hello? That's some weird voice-mail message you got there. I'll help you set up a good one later. Anyway, you're probably in your debrief still. " heavy sigh could be heard, and the faint breeze of Peter probably swinging on his webs.
" I'm just now done with patrol. I've had a shit day of finals, and I smell like a dumpster cause I fell into a dumpster after I got stabbed. "
There was a pause before he quickly said," but don't worry, it's already healed, but yeah shitty night. I haven't slept since yesterday. So I'm gonna be exhausted when you get in. But I ordered some chinese for us, swinging to pick it up now, but it should still be warm by the time you get home. I apologize in advance if I have already passed out in bed when you get in. But I promise you amazing welcome back home morning sex. And I'll fix those waffles you like. But remember we are going to May's later for Passover since we couldn't yesterday. On Friday, we were invited over to the XMansion to celebrate there unless something else doesn't come up. But yeah, I'm rambling."
He sighs a little." I missed you. I'll see you at home in a bit. Love you, " you hear some rustling." Hey Miss Jenny, " "I got you extra egg rolls. " " Aweso-" the phone hangs up.
Everyone is staring down at the phone before Steve and Tony turn to look at Bucky.
Tony had no clue when Peter and Bucky would have gotten together and is now trying to piece together instances that should have stood out.
Steve, though, he was starting the suspect for a while now. The few times he visited Bucky's apartment, he noticed differences. The apartment seemed lived in compared to before. House plants, a video game console, a vast collection of movies that showed up on bookcases along with more photos and just more personal touches.
"Well. Looks like I need to get home. Don't call me"
Bucky tucks the broken phone back in his pocket before he quickly leaves.
Steve eyes Tony warily.
" But... no. When did the terminator get with my kid?"
"He isn't a kid anymore he is 22"
" Zip it, capsicle! "
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soon-palestine · 2 hours
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as an american citizen, you have the right to assemble. the police and other governmental agencies violate this right through mass arrests, illegal use of force, criminalization of protest and other means that threaten our right to free expression.
DO NOT TALK TO THE POLICE:
they are not your friends. they are not there to protect you, regardless of your race. their presence there is to protect the interests of the state.
what to do if you are detained or stopped by the police:
do not resist, even if you think they are violating your rights.
calmly ask someone to record.
ask if you’re free to leave. if you are, walk away.
how to stay safe during a protest:
write phone/legal aid numbers on your body. bring a sharpie for others to do this.
ALWAYS use the buddy system. don’t be selfish & stick to your own friend group. if you see someone alone, invite them into your circle.
don’t know where to seek legal aid?
before attending/during a protest, visit http://nlg.org/chapters/#massdefense.
NLG chapters are organized into regions. find. your region and write their number on your body.
encourage others around you to write that same number on their body.
4. if you are threatened with or under arrest:
you have the right to know why you’re being arrested. calmly ask. if they refuse to provide a reason, stay quiet and ask for legal representation immediately.
do not give any information or sign anything without a lawyer present.
what to do with your phone during a protest:
put your phone on airplane mode
disable face ID/touch, replace with 6-digit passcode instead
spreading awareness is great but avoid posting photos of people that include identifying features.
police want everyone to leave the area, what should that look like:
shutting down a protect through a dispersal order must be the last resort for police.
a clear danger must be present.
police must give adequate time for protesters to disperse and an exit route.
what are your rights if you’re being stopped or detained by police:
you do not have to consent to you or your belongings being searched. if you consent, anything can be used against you in court.
police can conduct a “pat down” if they suspect you have a weapon.
if you see someone being detained, what should you do:
record the interaction. police can not demand to view or delete any footage without a warrant.
use calming affirmations towards the person being detained. they are likely scared. be there for them.
use whatever privilege you have to protect others.
if you see a disabled person struggling, offer to help. find medics to assist people experiencing anxiety or having a panic attack. if you see a BIPOC being harassed, surround them.
personal note on using your privilege: i have seen white people, countless times, place themselves in front of BIPOC when police draw weapons/approach protests. it often works.
do not be a person that just acknowledges their privilege, use it for good.
10. remember that we protect us. ignite this chant as a reminder to everyone present if you have to. communities are supposed to help one another. don’t be a sell out, offer support, share resources, food and water. be a kind soul.
if you can not participate in a protest for whatever reason, you can still help! drop-off supplies! (water bottles, allergy-friendly foods/snacks with ingredients labels on them, sharpies, cards with legal aid numbers on them, masks, makeup remover wipes, hand sanitizer, etc)
sources/disclaimer: main source:
@ACLU and my own opinions. this is not legal advice. consult legal representation if you are in need of assistance.
stay safe, be on the right side of history. black lives matter, no one is illegal, we protect us, land back, all oppression is connected and free palestine. 🇵🇸
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Text
A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts and I fixed it up and decided to post it as a little blurb. Enjoy!
No mention of skin color, but the reader is the daughter of Sam Wilson!
Pairing: Peter Parker x samwilsondaughter!fem!reader
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“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Sam said, walking into the Avengers tower, holding the door open for everyone behind him.
“When do you ever think something is a good idea?” Bucky replied.
“All the time, all the time, but this one right here? Is not it.” Said Sam, as he walked further away from the group, and sat atop of a table.
“Well, this a great opportunity for the both of them.” Steve said.
“For what exactly?”
“Maybe they’ll bond over something and get close with one another.” Natasha replied, sitting next to Sam on the table.
“Yeah, and that’s what scares the hell outta me.” He responded and stood up from the table and began to pace.
Sam has always put an overprotective bubble, over (Y/N). Her being both his only daughter and child, he just wants the best for her. And (Y/N) sees that, but he doesn’t know that she’s losing the opportunity to be a teen.
She wants to go out with friends? It was a lovely day, until she caught him watching her and her friends through some bushes, with goggles and full on camouflage.
Yeah, now she only sees those friends during school hours.
Sleepover with the besties? Yeah, just ready for constant check ups and phone calls. He wants to know what you’re doing 24/7.
And suddenly those sleepover invitations get lost in the mail.
Don’t even get him started on dating. Sam will not allow it, until he’s ran an entire background check on the guy.
Now none of the guys at her school talk with her, everyone sees how protective he is of her. It’s sweet, but also completely unnecessary.
The door swung open as Peter ran inside trying to shove something into his backpack. “You wanted to see me, Mr. Wilson?” Peter asked, feeling nervous and on the verge of sweating.
“Oh, don’t be silly. Call me, ‘sir.’” Sam said, as Natasha game him a look, but he shrugged it off.
“I called you here, because I wanted you to meet someone. She should be here any moment.”
Not too long later, she walked inside the building and Sam immediately stood next to her. “Peter meet-”
“(Y/N)? Hey! How are you?” Peter says, as (Y/N) got closer to him and hugged him tight.
“Hey! I’ve been good!” They both smiled at each other, as they let go of one another, then they both looked away from each other, feeling embarrassed and flustered.
“Sooo.. you too already know each other?” Steve asked, and Peter was quick to answer.
“Yeah, I mean we,” Sam stared at him giving him a slight death glare. “We don’t actually, I don’t know her. Who are you again?” Peter said stumbling over his words, scratching the back of his head.
I rolled my eyes and stepped forward, “Peter and I met in school, he’s a good friend.” I smile at him, as Peter gave me a nervous smile.
“Good, that’s great! How about you two catch up and reminisce about, whatever things teens do these days. We have to have a quick talk with your dad, (Y/N).” Nat told me, I nodded and took Peter somewhere else in the tower.
Once they were out of earshot of everyone else, Peter let (Y/N) know just how nervous and frightened he was.
“He’s gonna kill me isn’t he? Like I know I offended him in some way so like, I might not wake up tomorrow, and-”
“Peter! Relax.. he won’t do anything to you. I promise.” I replied and Peter calmed down almost instantly, and took some deep breaths. “Hopefully..” I murmur to myself, underneath my breath.
“What??” Peter asked, clearly hearing what was said. I laughed running off and he began to chase me around.
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fuyuu-chan · 7 hours
Note
Hi bestie! You told me to drop in so here I am. I'm gonna leave a request while I'm at it hehe Hope you don't mind.
Can I request a Neuvillette fic inspired by Taylor Swift's "Anti-Hero"? I particularly like the lyrics "Hi, it's me. I'm the problem, it's me. At teatime, everybody agrees." It gives me the vibes of a reader who is shunned by society, y'know? Perfect for some angst if I do say so myself 🫣🫢
Anyways, do whatever fits your vibe. I just love the way you write our dear Iudex 🥰 No pressure though! If it's too much, then just consider this as me dropping in to say hello to you and your lovely readers. Have a good day!!!
Love,
Mayaree
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It's me. Hi. I'm the problem it's me :)
Fuyuu-chan: Hiiiii beshy hahahaha thanks for dropping in lol 😆🫶 also for being the first to request 😚
Pairing: Neuvillette x Reader
Summary: Everyone doesn't like you and thinks that you're not worthy for Neuvillette, and so they make fun of you, some even ignored you. By the way people in Fontaine treat you it makes you feel insecure and question your relationship with him.
Warning: Mention of break up, a bit of yandere ish at the end?? It might not look like it for some of y'all but just in caseee hehehehe (Not Proofread)
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The moment everyone in Fontaine knew about your relationship with Neuvillette would probably the worst thing that happened in your life, because of what people think about you, for not being worthy as the Ludex beloved partner.
And the worst part is that Neuvillette didn't know about any of this, they only talk about it when you're the only one around, when you're not with him. You consider to tell it to him but of course you don't want to bother him, especially since he's busy with his duties as the Chief of Justice.
Now, you got invited to one tea party held by one lady that has been "kind" to you, so of course you accepted it... 'I shouldn't had my hopes up, of course she is gonna be like the others' you thought. Who would've thought that she would be like that? She appeared to be kind to you the first time you met but when with everyone, with her friends and some other ladies, she had just embarrassed you.
She told everyone that (name) is just a common girl, basic, and compared to Neuvillette she's not on his level. She even told everyone that "She's just a problem to our dear Ludex, only a burden for him" she chuckles and everyone at that tea party laughed agreeing to what she said.
Feeling embarrassed, angered, saddened, you just excused yourself saying you'll go to the restroom but after you left you never came back but one thing's for sure, everyone hated you, talked behind your back while laughing. You can't handle it anymore, everyone is insulting you and the fact that you may be ruining Neuvillette's reputation, you feel furious but at the same time what can you do? I mean they're all right aren't they? You're just a problem.
Because of everyone saying things about you, spreading rumours around Fontaine, it's hard for you to go outside because once you do people would look at you and whisper to each other.
Some even threatened you, saying you should stay away from Neuvillette or you'll regret it. You thought it's probably just his admirers that's going way too far, but to be honest it's already affecting your mental health.
Well you did distance yourself from him, like when he ask you out like go to dinner, or have some date you would decline saying you have something to do or you're currently busy. But let's be honest you really wanted to spend time with him. He was at first: "It's alright, next time we could go." But as time pass he was getting worried and confused as to why you were not seeing him anymore.
Always rejecting him. 'What happened?' He thought. You two aren't like this in the past, you two would even date every time there's a free time like after work or weekends. But why are you distancing yourself from him?
This thoughts always bother Neuvillette and the way you act. And now he found himself walking towards your house to talk to you and ask you.
Once he arrives, he knocked on your door. It took you minute to open the door which definitely isn't like you at all since you always open the door immediately when it comes to him (he have like a pattern when he knocks at your door so you know it's him).
You were about to ask him but he just got in your house and closed the door. Now you two are just standing looking at each other, the air seems tense.
"...so uhhh...why did you come here?" You said finally breaking the silence.
"Am I not allowed to come here anymore?" He asked.
"That's not what I meant, what I mean is what's the reason for your sudden visit here?" You clarified.
"It's about you...us...why are you distancing yourself from me? What happened?" He asked.
"What do you mean?... I'm just busy that's why I can't really spend time with you..." You trail off hesitating.
"Don't lie (name)..." He said as he looked at you worried.
"Did I do something wrong that makes you distance yourself from me? If I did I'm sorry... but please tell me so I can fix it." Neuvillette asked as he looked at you in the eyes.
"You?.." you asked as you scoffed a bit. "No it's... it's me Neuvillette, I'm the problem..." You continued as you try not to tear up in front of him.
You can see how Neuvillette's furrow his eyebrows as he heard you speak.
"What? You're not the problem (name), what are you talking about?" He asked as he stepped closer to you.
"So you still don't know?" You asked.
"What do you mean?" He looked at you confused on what you mean.
"People in Fontaine don't like me, they hate me the moment they knew about us, they said I'm not worthy...for you... I'm just a problem...and a burden for you" you said as your voice is starting to break, you didn't even notice that you were now crying remembering everyone's word, insults, threats.
Neuvillette was speechless the moment those words left your mouth. How could he not know about any of this? Did all of the people hurt you like this everyday? He thought that everything was alright but it turns out it's not, how could he let this things happen to you?
Neuvillette wanted to comfort you but when he was about to approach you, you step back and said "I think we should... separate ways, I don't want you to get ruined or people thinking bad things about you because of me" you said as you try to look at him.
He stood there, frozen in his place. He was processing your words inside his head. "W-what?..." He finally get to asked after a few minutes.
"We should break up" you said.
"...But why?"
"Because of me...I was causing you problems, I might ruin your reputation in the future and I don't want that" you answered as you finally looked at him teary eyed.
Neuvillette then approached you as he pulls you closer to him, he held you in his arms. "(Name) please...I don't want to break up with you...Besides you're never a problem, people is just jealous of you and that's why they did that. Besides you will never ruin my reputation because when you came into my life, you taught me how to understand people, how to be considerate and many more. My reputation became much better with you."
You lean on him while you tear up, even if you don't want to but his warmth that enveloped you, you missed it.
"B-but.." you stutter.
"Sshh..." He hummed as he pat your back in order to comfort you just like what you did when he was crying. "I'm sorry I didn't know any of this, I'm sorry you have to go through all of that alone, I'm sorry that I turned a blind eye...and I'm sorry that I'm not there when you needed me the most." He apologized.
After you calmed down you replied to him. "...It's not your fault...so don't apologize" you sniffled as you finally looked at him for him to only wipe your tears away. "No love...it's my fault too for not knowing any of this, for not seeing how much you suffer everyday."
You kept silent as you just let him comfort you. Eventually you found yourself apologizing "I'm...sorry Neuvi...for saying we should break...up".
Neuvillette only shake his head "Its alright... I know you dont mean it, you might had said it but at that moment I can see in your eyes that you do not mean those words" he said as he smiled gently at you. "But...I hope to not hear those words again...I must say my heart ache when those words left your mouth." He continued as he looked a bit sad.
"I'm..sorry, its just that...that was the one I thought would be better for us..for you" you said as you looked down only for Neuvillette to grab your chin gently to make you look at him.
"Its alright...you dont mean that anyways right?" He asked and you nod and that was enough for him to smile again. "It's those people that made you think that...I cannot believe they had the audacity to say those vile things to my beloved, to my partner, who I love dearly from the bottom of my heart. I serve them for so many decades, I protected them yet they return all those things I did with this?" he said as he tucked your loose hair behind your ear. "They didn't even repsect the person I chose to be with me forever" he looked so mad that he let these things happen but you hugged him to calm him down a bit.
"What are you gonna do?" You asked while you lean onto his chest, he reciprocated your hug as he wrapped his arms around you waist.
"Don't worry love...I will handle it all...you just rest here and relax while I fix these, alright?" Neuvillette said as he rubbed your back. "It would also be nice if we could leave Fontaine for a few days to have your mind forget this for a while, don't you think?" He asked as he looked at you.
You hummed and nod. "I guess that would help...but how about your work?" You asked as you now looked at him to meet his gaze on you.
"I'll take a few days off, I'm pretty sure the others could handle the court for a while. Especially since there's no big cases as of now." He explained and that's enough for you to relax a bit.
You finally smiled and that made Neuvillette happy, seeing you smile again made his heart finally calm down and his mind to finally rest. For now he let himself relax on your warm embrace and for later...he would deal with those people that dare hurt his beloved (name).
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Please do not copy, translate, repost to any other social media, Thank you.
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transmascutena · 1 month
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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rowenabean · 10 months
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#the wedding was lovely and i am so sad#managed to get most of the sad out of the way Friday and Sunday so i could be glad for them on the actual wedding day#but still. i'm going to miss her.#we always talked about living together and we never did and now we probably never will#i've got a model of married folk living together in community but i don't think they do and it has to be something you choose#her family are lovely and i was really glad to meet her friends and cousins that she talks about so often but they don't really get it#they get to have her!!! she's moving somewhere that's more convenient for literally everyone other than me! (this is not hard to do)#really good to get home and hug my dad and my little sister and have people who are my people around#was actually really good at the reception that there were a few other folk from my current town - i wasn't the only person who was#mixed joy and tears#i said something about us giving her over in my speech and they said yes that's exactly how we're feeling#but it wasn't till her husband responded to that in his speech that i started crying#everyone has been so kind to me but it has been SO good to get home#hoping i can get a bit more sleep as well. emotions are bigger when tired even though they're real still#(her cousins invited me to come stay any time and tbh i can see that living in Auckland could be actually really nice if you live where they#do. but i couldn't live where they do and do the work i want to do it is quite far away from the places in Auckland i could imagine working)#rowena adventures#btw no photos of me currently but probably some later??? not that we took many the groom had been sick the previous week and was#still pretty wiped so they got like two photos with the bridal party and ten with just them and that was it
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johndonneswife · 18 days
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someone really should be talking about how difficult it is to plan a wedding - a gay wedding - when both of your families fucking suck
#who is talking about this!!!! let me know#idk i have 0 expectations for my family but they still somehow always manage to let me down which#i was anticipating#and i didn’t think i would care because i have never cared before#but liiiiiike.#i wasn’t expecting to feel sad rofl but my family is so fucking flaky. again i KNOW THIS i know i cannot rely on any of them#it’s annoying when i have given them a year and a half to make plans and i have had so many people tell me they would be there#just to back out or ghost or come up with some excuse#like do you know how expensive weddings are 😭 JUST fucking be honest with me and rsvp no#anyway i was very intentional with the few family members i did invite#and specifically invited people i have a rapport with / had a good (ish lol) relationship with growing up#people i have bent over backwards trying to please!!! and dropping everything to help them out#and they can’t even be bothered to communicate with me lol it’s fine. like. i do feel like it’s internalized homophobia at this point#or maybe they have hated me this entire time which is totally plausible#but they KNOW how much ayesha means to me and knows that no one from her family is coming to our wedding#at the end of the day it’s going to be like. 5 people from my family 1 from ayesha’s (her brother) and like 30-40 friends#which i am so grateful for obviously#i sound like such a brat but it’s also like - watching your family continuously choose drugs/alcohol over showing up for you - lol#AGAIN i’m used to this and expected as much but i’m still feeling bad#just rsvp so i can move on with my life please. stop telling me you’re trying to make it work when we both know you aren’t#i have so much more to say but i’m going to sound crazy even though i knooooow it is homophobia like i Know it#i think there are certain people i will finally go no contact with for good after this#which is a freeing thought but i only invited v few family members to begin with. there’s abt to be no one left lmao#probably for the best#ugh whatever#again i can’t help but feel a certain way when they have done more/traveled further for relatives they hardly know#meanwhile i was forced to spend so much of my life living for these people and for them alone#AAAAAAAA i just want to scream#text
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notjanine · 1 year
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i am in suuuuuch a weird headspace rn, my brain is like. i want half a boyfriend i want a husband i want an easy carefree hookup i want to have sex with only one more person in my entire life i want to have a slut era i want someone to fall in love with me i want to ruin a man's life. who am i
#like okay i said that guy was messy and maybe i am messy too#but only internally! i can at least be consistent and honest in my communication and behavior#but idek what is going on with me#is this a belated quarter life crisis is this being thirty is this what happens when grad school and an internship scramble your brain#scramble your brain so hard that your emotions and physical desires also go haywire#this month is gonna be so weird for me and like i'm depressed enough to not care if i live or die which is when i do my best flirting#and i (theoretically) will have enough time off to take care of myself and get good sleep and do skincare and hair care and work out#and do all the little things to make myself feel more confident#anyway all i know is. i have baby steps initiated progress on some things.#but also the mutually agreed upon six-month post-breakup communication moratorium with my ex is almost up and i am half tempted to call him#i am also half tempted to mess with the OTHER guy in our internship cohort even though that would be THEE messy bitch move#(do not let me do it physically stop me from doing it if it seems like i'm going to)#(but y'know he's. nice. nearby. single. quietly hilarious and has full lips and a similar schedule to my own. pls stop me)#(we might hang out next week. i will not WILL NOT invite him over. i repeat do NOT let me invite him over)#earlier this week i talked to a close very cool and fun and social friend about wanting to start dating again and she was like#Oh i know like ten guys for you lemme have another party and invite all of them and you#and i'm thisclose to being like. actually just fucken see if any of them will go on a blind date with me next weekend.#what the FUCK is wrong with me rn#ANYWAY lemme go work out and finally start the vampire show#bc exercise will distract my body and that toxic relationship bullshit will put a damper on these desires right. right??#starting to understand why so many religions are like watch out for sins of the flesh or whatever. like how they're like temptation is bad.#lizzo_boys.mp3
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crowhyun · 1 year
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Life Update:
I’ve just graduated from flight attendant training, and I’ve earned my wings yall! I have about a week before I start inflight training and that’ll last about four days, and then i have another two-day training course, but as of now, I’m pretty much a fully certified flight attendant!
I’ve also finally found a place to live once I get to my base, as I was worrying about that a lot lol but things are going great.
I’m just a bit sad, because even though I felt like shit most of the time getting up so early and going to school for 10-12 hours a day, it was really fun, and I already miss seeing my classmates and talking to them everyday. We started out with 22 and ended up with 17, but it was still a big class compared to a lot of other graduating classes lol. Some of my classmates have already went on to their scheduled inflight training, and I’ll be the last one to go lol bcs mine is scheduled for the 26th, and four ppl have left already so I’m sad. My roommate is leaving tomorrow, though, and tbh I’m not sad abt that, I’ll be along in the hotel room for 4 days before I leave lol.
But yeah, I just wanted to tell y’all what’s going on. I’m finally going to get back to writing a bit for the free time I have while here, but I’m not sure if i’m going to post any works yet.
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