#doing better now tho!

[qiinamii]

we'll do fine.

#fionna and cake spoilers #what hits me a little is how similar fionna and simon's stories are in the case of finding nuance in their lives #when both have gone through their separate but still valid pain no matter the extent it had been #and its that they met each other they get to see how it compares and they're no less worth of the peace and fun they dreamed of #even in the form of simplicity and just being normal #“i wouldn't have met THE fionna and cake” “we wouldn't have met THE simon petrikov” #it hits me harder that after the dandelion scene would've been their last time seeing each other physically #and how assuring simon sounded when fionna didn't know what to do with the literal world in her hands #tho im sure prismo isnt that much of a rule jerk lol i still drew out the revelation anyway with this tiniest addition #also the fact fionna's world is influenced by simon's thought processes and conditions so now things are a little better for both of them #fionna the human #fionna campbell #simon petrikov #qiiarts #the lil flashback of #betty grof #fionna and cake #adventure time

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[turrondeluxe]

team sunset!🌇

#turtles bonking each other as an affectionate gesture....yeah :'] #i was going to put the prompt screenshot but i think its better this way :] do know its from a prompt tho!!! #i ended up watching a movie instead and got carried away with this one as i watched lol #im gonna go snork mimimi now o7 #my art #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt mikey #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt raph #tmnt raphael #sunset duo

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

[endermagpieart]

What do you mean I’m a bit late for Janus’ big day? Of course not, how could you say such a thing! I definitely didn’t forget all about it in my absence and only get reminded in the incorrect quotes video live chat; that’s not like me at all ;]

Anyways I decided to dress our sassy snake in some different outfits I think he’d like. He seems like the type to get all dolled up on his birthday and it goes with Thomas posting pics in outfits inspired by the sides on their appreciation days!

@thatsthat24

#sanders sides #janus sanders #ts janus #thomas sanders #sanders sides fanart #my hoard #I’ve returned! #the newest asides came out and I remembered how much I love it #so I’m hyperfixated again and I’ve not now peace since #it is nice to actually finish something again tho #I’ve been pretty busy working lately and now I’m starting to pack to move into my first apartment! #so not much time to really sit down and draw #and when I do have time I can’t get the motivation to actually draw anything #I want to get better about posting stuff on here #(even though it feels like I’m just dreaming into the void a lot) #even just silly little things or rough sketches I’ll never finish #I hope it’ll help me continue to draw and make things again #I forgot how nice it is #anyways if you’ve read this far thanks #have a cookie :] 🍪

[chiricat]

ryomina demons are winning

#does anyone here like them idk. theyre funny #putting off finishing p3re to draw these so i don't have to be sad just yet #cat’s art #ryomina #ryoji mochizuki #makoto yuki #minato arisato #p3 #persona 3 #p3re #p3 reload #sorry for traditional sketch stuff... idk i just feel like i do better on paper even tho its literally the same style #like i can just get the lines better on paper. i think my brush is probably too thick digitally if i'm having this problem lol #makoto makes me so emo u guys have no idea. i didn't quite get this guy in the beginning but now... #full force understanding of a character. hes. he :( (incoherent sobbing) #tag ramble again SORRY I UEBRO4Y39NRMFMT #oh yeah the period thing going around is so funny. PERSONA 3 PERIOD SIMULATOR

[wasyago]

quick "chip" sketch from ep 109

#wanted to draw him with gray skin hehe #this ep is a real throwback to the desire isle arc.... holes in hearts. chip is stone gray/dead. big fight with a boss and ghouls. mmmm #his neck is a little busy so ill definitely change it if i draw him like this again. but itll do for now its a sketch anyway #love the color pallett otherwise tho... very tasty looking #i think this is the fifth art with a black background i did in the last couple days but pffff who cares i love black backgrounds #OH also yes. no hole in his chest. pretty sure the heart was pulled from his throat anyway #doesn't make it better but haha yeah #jrwi riptide #jrwi chip #jrwi riptide spoilers #jrwi spoilers #riptide spoilers #my art #sketch

[yennao]

(Adult Danny Design by @nicktoonsunite because he’s neat and I Love him)

So anyway if I’m not drawing blood or teeth assume I’m dead

#dp #danny phantom #danny fenton #danny #a wonderful little lad #I sure do enjoy his misery #I feel better about it when he’s not 14 tho #my 9 yo crush is long past #but this adult Danny? boy he my age now that’s fair game ok #I kid #or do I #Me when black and white hair but at the same time #and miserable #if they’re not miserable I don’t want em #I’ll adopt them and Make them miserable though #anyway #nicktoons unite #nicktoons

[luck-of-the-drawings]

THIS THING IS SCUUUFFED AS HELL & ITS ALSO THE BEST THING I HAVE ANIMATED THUS FAR. IM SO IN LOVE WITH EMIZEL. JUST WISH I GAVE HIM MORE STUPID TATTOOS. NEXT TIME THO. NEXT TIME. I ALSO LOVE VEX&VIV SOOOO MUCH. charlies flavor of Deranged is my FAVORITE!!

#cw gore #jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #jrwi suckening spoilers #ACTULY FINISHED THIS A WHILE AGO. kept going back n forth between trying to work on it more or call it done #in the end i chose DONE!! i worked on this for a full day n a half. NO idea what possesed me but it is NOT happenin again anytime soon #i shall do better NEXT TIME!! in the meantime tho OH MY GOOOOOD WHO WANTS TO SCREAM ABT THE SUCKENING WITH ME #THE FUCKINNN THE FUCKIN THING WITH VEX N VIV BEING THE SHADOW LEADERS OF THE FANGS/DEMONS #OH MMYY GOOOODDD THATS THEIR LIL MEAT GENERATOR... THTS SO FUCKED UP AND COOL UUUGHHH I LOVE THEM... #THEIR FLAVORE IS SO WONDERFUL. I LOOOVE HOW SILLY THEY ARE. MAKING PUNS WHILE PULLIN A SCREAMING VICTIM APART #vex n his lil fashiony art workshop and viv n her sterile n clean doctors office #i bet she doesnt even HAVE a medical liscense. it would be funny if vex did tho. could u imagine #they main MEDIC in tf2 together. viv is the battlemedic while vex only pocket medics for her. COULD U IMAGINE #guh i could go on abt these two forever n ever n ever i LOVE THEMM i gotta draw em more.... #OH ALSO before i run outa room. i should say. i took inspiration from a tf2 animation called POOTIS ENGAGED #the animator. Ceno0. uses black bars in the action sequences in SUCH A COOL WAYYY everytime i watch that video i feel inspired #oneday ill make more complex fight scenes... one day.... #in the meantime UGHHH I LOVE THE SUCKENING SO MUUUCH CAN I JUST FUCKIN SAAAYY THAT I THINK EMIZEL IS A SMART COOKIE!! #THESE PPL FUCKING FEAR HIM NOW!!! 'SHAMIA SHAMI' IS NOW THEIR MORTAL ENEMY!! POWERFUL ILLUSIONIST. CANT DIE. #THAT PART AT THE END THERE WHERE HE FUCKIN. KILLS HIMSELF INFRONTA THEM. THATS SO AWESOME. THATS SO METAL. AND THEN HE COMES BACK!! #I WATCHED EP 7 ASWELL BUT I WONT SPOIL IT HERE. BUT OMYGOD. EMIZEL IS SO COOL AND CAPABLE N SMART N FUNNY N UGHHHHHH I LOVE HIMMMMM #OKAY THATS MY RAMBLE FOR THE DAY THANKYOU FOR READING. I READ ALL TAGS SO YOU SHOULD RAMBLE TOO. IF YOU WANT. IF YOU CAN.

[uglyfruit]

inktober 26-31 😮‍💨

#next yr i will be doing this in may or something. when i do not also have midterms #my art #proud tho! i feel like it gets better every year #also got a new copy of photoshop that can export gifs now :)

[josukespimphand]

the new season is so close, im about to throw up

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gojo satoru #geto suguru #getou suguru #my art #cleaned up the sketches a little more last night but ToT #actually posting art more than once a month is crazy to me now it feels weird #i will do better with that tho but yeah #bday tomorrow i just wanted to draw my dudes since ive been in a jjk kinda mood #think ill continue to draw the infinity symbol and scars as buttons on their school uniforms whenever i draw them as students #ive always loved how araki would draw emblems that represented his character's somewhere on either their bodies or clothing like how he'd #usually draw hearts and peace signs on josuke's school uniform ToT... cute

[choccy-milky]

Your art and blog sparks joy in me! Keep it up! (At your own pace where you are comfortable)

aw thank you!! i will!!😭💖💖 i wont be posting any new art till valentines day but in the meantime i give u all this wip that im drawing for my fics 1 yr anniversary on the 18th, bc soft seb makes me 🥺💘🥺🥺🥺

#wip #i have something ready to post and was planning to do it yesterday but then twitter drama happened lol and ive been feeling crappy #slowly starting to feel better now tho #might not even wait till valentines day to post my valentines post once thats done too bc im impatient LMAO #will probs post it on the 13th actually BAHAHA once i have soemthing ready i cant keep it in my backlog I MUST POST IT #ask

[buglaur]

this is kit, please commission some art from them on social bunny 🙏

#ts4 #sims 4 #just wanted to test out relight but now i have a whole new gameplay i wanna do #my house wifi's been down since friday so i'd nothing better to do lol #assignments shouldn't exist. i should be able to play video games all day >:( #i think i'm going to remove this font replacement cus it can't do accented letters :( #i had to uninstall wickedwhims cus my uni friend wants to play sims on my laptop tomorrow LOL #anyways kits cool though #they're in the same save as virgil's tjol :) #so they might meet him! #uuughhh i fuckin hate thursdays. i'm out of the house for like 14 hours :(( #going to england in 8 days tho i'm so excited to see my family again :) they got a new dog too!! a jack russell named paddy lmaooo #i got tagged in kmik posts but i'm saving them for friday night when i'm not busy <3 #goodnight simblr #it's 11:50pm and i need to start writing my essay due tomorrow D:

[skellagirl]

Back in winter 2022 I started working on a comic of one of my favorite nsfw oneshots, Practical Demonstration, made like five pages, and then promptly dropped it cause I was still in the midst of Art Block From Hell, among other reasons

but the fic series recently got an update and I read it on a flight last week, which has renewed the brainworms :)

The comic's FAR from finished (I've thumbnailed the entire thing and it comes out to twenty-eight pages, while I have thirteen of those pages in varying stages of completion) but I've been having a lot of fun working on it and forcing myself to try and learn new things (backgrounds/environments, in this case) in the pursuit of Harvey Smut LOL

I thought I'd post some WIP shit here, in case ADHD gets my ass and I end up dropping it again 😭 pray for me

#stardew valley #sdv harvey #stardew harvey #stardew farmer #my art #description in alt text #my favorite panel so far is shojo harvey lol :) #I started this so long ago now that my style has noticeably changed hdhrhhrh #I might end up going back and redrawing some aspects of the earlier pages #tbh I've also been doing this to get better at comics bc I want!! to make my original one!!! AT SOME POINT!!!!!! #legit tho this has been some of the most fun I've had drawing in soooo long #even despite me feeling like I'm juggling ten bars of slippery soap every time I draw backgrounds lmao #it's still been fun #now I just have to figure out where the fuck I can post this if/when I finish it since it's. yknow. uh #but that's a problem for Future Me

[royaltea000]

You guys ever like “I could draw this better” but by the time you finish drawing it you’re like I could draw this better cuz it took so long that you’ve improved even more 😭

#listen I love my designs of the hiccups so I really wanted to do them justice #Hated the quality of the previous ones lol #I’ve been looking through my old art lately like I could do these concepts better lol #thinking about redesigning my ruffcup oc children next #they need better fits #httyd books #httyd fanart #book hiccup #hiccup horrendous haddock i #hiccup horrendous haddock ii #hiccup horrendous haddock iii #FINALLY GAVE HICCUP 2 THE PIRATE COAT I WANTED HIM TO HAVE IN THE ORIGINAL YESSSSS #NOW HE DOESNT LOOK SO PLAIN COMPARED TO THE OTHER TWO #hiccup 1 is perfect his design has no complaints from me #Wish I made room for his hem designs in the redraw tho :( #Damn #guess I’ll just have to redraw them again in the future lo #digital art #my art #artists on tumblr #digital illustration #procreate #digital painting

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

got a little carried away with this one... outfit sent by @chocolategothwolfhorse <3

#couldnt decide which version i like better so Yall Get Both #this fit is one of many bangers sent in one ask #i meant to knock a few of em out in the same post #but some sort of demon possessed me and made me do lighting. and a silly background #thank you demon but also go to #go to. go. well. hm. #fuck you very much sir lighting demon #happy with this tho. tried some new things. #dont expect fully rendered stuff from me often its exhausting and takes forever #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #wally darling #yesterday yall got slightly creepy wally now you get Wholesome Boy Says Hello