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nitannichionne · 3 years

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Luna IV, Chapter 13: The Tournament (A Cavill Syverson Fan Fic)

Chapter 13: The Tournament

CHAPTER 13: The Tournament

The marketplace was in excited upheaval. It had been for the last few weeks. The Luna Women’s competition was drawing close.

Any woman could participate, though single and claimed had their own tournaments. There were ten competitions: artisanship, cooking, cleaning, beauty, hand to hand combat, intelligence, archery, athleticism, gardening and riding.

You had never heard of it before, and for that alone, you are excited. You and Helena take your usual table and watch women and merchants haggling more than usual.

“You’re really into this!” Helena smiles at you.

“I know I can win the rough stuff,” you say excitedly. “Did you see those medals?”

“Yes, but there is some serious competition,” Helena warns softly. “The outlanders, the ones who live on the outside of the cities, their women are pretty rough, too.”

You sigh, “Hopefully my practicing will earn a place, at least.” You smile at Helena. “You’re a shoe-in for beauty, by the way.”

Helena smiles at that, chuckling as she rolled her eyes. “Yeah, with the little pouch here.” She raises an eyebrow. “You should try to enter it. You’re really exotic looking.”

You laugh out loud. “No, thanks!”

“Hi!” Gabrielle smiles, clutching sheets to her breast.

You smile. You honestly have never seen such change in a woman before. Gabrielle was still afraid of most men except Lysander, but she was no longer afraid to smile, look people in the eye. She simply was not the same woman she was three months ago.

“Where have you been?” you ask her.

“Lysander,” she says sheepishly. “I honestly don’t understand it. You’d think he’d be tired of me.”

“Are you?” Helena asks knowingly.

Gabrielle leaned forward and grinned girlishly. “No!” They all laughed at that. “What did I miss?”

“I chose my fabric,” You push swatches toward her.

“I brought my sketches for you two,” Gabrielle smiles. “Let me know what you think, okay? I’ll get some drinks…for you, too, Kane!” She scratches his ears and goes for refreshments.

You and Helena frown over the sketches.

“She is good, you know that?” you nod.

“I know. That’s why we’re going to enter our costumes into the artisan’s competition in Gabrielle’s name!” Helena whispers.

You gasp softly, “She’s in the gardening competition already. You’re going to put her in another?”

“She signed the sketches,” Helena taps the sheets. “See? All we have to do is wear the number on our costumes, that’s all.”

“She might be embarrassed.”

“And Lysander will be there for her,” Helena says with no remorse. “He’s even thinking about entering his outfit for that day. She finished it yesterday.” She pauses, changing the subject. “Are you sure you don’t want to try for the beauty competition?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Zenobia nods, rolling her eyes. “The archery and athleticism events are enough, thank you.”

“Hhmph,” Helena pouts. “I thought you were doing hand to hand.”

“Your brother said no, that’s why I’m doing athleticism instead.” You roll your eyes. “He really gets on my nerves sometimes.”

Helen arches her eyebrow, her smile disbelieving. “Yeah, right.”

*****

The Luna Women’s competition came on a beautiful but hot day. Colors were posted everywhere and merchants sold cool drinks and shade. There was public shade but it was crowded.

You are grateful to find that Sy has not only reserved shade for some of his people, but got you a two room private tent with a cooling system inside. You are relieved to see it as you complete the events of the athleticism competition.

“I saw you in the footrace,” Sy smiles, handing you a drink when you come inside the tent. “I had no idea you were so fast.”

You raise an eyebrow brow at him. “You never asked.”

“They should be doing archery soon,” he nods. “Anything you want to tell me about that?”

“I was one of the best on my father’s property,” you beam. “I trained with his archers, but not with arrows. I trained with bullet tips.”

“That man, rest his soul, gave you way too much advantage.”

“Ha!” You have become used to his little ribs, but most of the time, you just liked the way his mouth went a little lopsided when he did. “You’ll be there, won’t you?” You watch him sit as if trying to decide and you pounce on him. He laughs up at you as you grab his shirt front and shake him slightly. “You will be there, right?”

“I will be there,” he chuckles, grabbing your wrists and turning your bodies so that he was over you. He brings his lips down on yours, nibbling and teasing your mouth to open to him.

“Sy…” you sigh, and then scramble to your feet when she saw the look in his eyes. “Uh-uh, I need all my strength for today!”

“Before we leave, I will have you in this tent,” he assures, his smile completely suggestive.

Your stomach does flip-flops as you smile back. “Just not now.”

He lunges for you and you duck out, hearing his laughter. Ah, that man…

“It’s true, then!”

You turn to Gabrielle’s gasp. “What?” She looked down at the number. “Oh, you like?”

Gabrielle looks upset, to the point of tears. “I’m not that good!”

“Brielle.” Lysander calls softly, catching up to her. “I told her to.”

“But, but why?!” Gabrielle shakes her head as tears well up in her eyes.

“Because we know talent when we see it,” he nods. “I have been getting compliments on this outfit since we got here.” She opens her mouth to protest and he kisses her forehead, immediately quieting and calming her. “Trust me?”

She looked up at him, nodding. “Always, but--” She sighs as he kissed her soundly.

Lysander raises his head just in time to recognize the man coming toward them. “Oh, hey, Theron!”

Theron was all smiles and a bit excited. “Let’s go to the beauty competition,” he suggested. “Helena’s one of the finalists.”

“I can only stay a little while,” you say apologetically. “I have a few more things to do.”

“I thought the archery contest was at the end of the day,” Lysander frowns slightly.

“It is,” you nod. “But I have a few more athletic categories too.”

The group went to watch Helena compete. You can’t believe how pretty some of the women were, and how many boldly stared at Sy. It was as if you weren’t there. They smiled at Theron, but Helena was more than their equal in beauty. You look down at your form fitting halter and brown chaps with underlying shorts. You like the outfit; it hugs your curves and you can do just about anything in it, but these women floated across the floor.

Sy’s arms close around you. “What?”

“Hmmm?” you nod, picking at the beadwork on the arm braces Gabrielle made for you. “Nothing.”

He bends down and nuzzles your ear. “Come on.”

“Nothing.”

“And the winner is…Helena Cavanaugh!”

Helena was tearful as she accepted her crown with three silver moons on it. She smiled at the crowd, and then at her husband.

“I love you,” Theron mouths the words.

“I love you,” Helena mouths back, blowing him a kiss.

It slams into you. You want Sy’s love, and to keep it, more than anything. You kiss him on the cheek and leave to complete your competition.

The rest of the afternoon wears at your nerves. You place second in athletics because you truly didn’t climb walls a lot, nor did you swim. You are thankful that running and agility helped your scores. You hope to win the archery competition.

The archery competition is grueling. You get down to the finals, and it comes down to you and last year’s winner, Gloria Crieger. It comes down to one arrow at twice the distance than before. You shoot within the bullseye but Gloria shoots dead center, leaving you with second place again.

You swallow hard. You can’t believe you lost the archery competition. You’d never lost against a woman. Your pride is crippled. You stand stiffly as you are given the medal, and step off the stand as soon as she can. You see Sy come toward you, and you can’t look at him.

“Hey,” he lifts your chin so he can look at you. He looks surprised to find tears in your usually bright eyes. “Zen?” He pulls you into his embrace, sighing as your tears come. “Aw, sweetheart…”

“I’m sorry.” You sniff into his shirt, and manage to look at him. “I really tried, Sy. I wanted to make you proud! I wanted to bring glory to your house!”

Sy pulls you closer. He tilts your chin up and wipes your tears. “But sweetheart, I am proud of you. You lost to a woman who has won this competition for years. You just entered, and you placed second. Don’t cry, baby, don’t cry.” He rubs your back comfortingly.

“I don’t care!” How could you hope to keep him? You aren’t an exceptional beauty like Helena, or artistic and sweetly soft like Brielle. Your father once spoke of your mother’s warrior skills like she was unparallel to any other woman, that she was special. “I’m sorry, Sy. I really am. I’ll do—“

He laughs at you, and speaks to you as if you are a child. “I am proud of you—“ He rains kisses on your face as you begin to shake your head, not wanting pity. “No, no, listen to me.” He frames your face in his hands, wiping your tears with his thumbs. “I am proud of you, I am proud you are mine, with me.” He kisses you again, and holds you tightly, and you felt the tightness in your sobbing chest melt as you begin to snuggle under his chin. He rubs your back. “You’re such a silly girl sometimes, you know that?”

“Oh!” You realize you’ve made a spectacle of herself. Some people are actually watching you, but you were too upset to pay attention. You are mortified.

He laughs down at you. “What?” You snuggle closer to him, hiding to regain the rest of your composure. “Aw, just realized some people are watching?” He laughed louder, kissing the top of your head. “Look around.” He nudges your temple. “Go on, look around.”

You peek around his bicep. You see most people barely paying attention, but some smiled at you. Gabrielle is still marveling at her medal in the artisan’s competition as Lysander holds her. Then you see Gloria with her mate. There is no holding, no kissing, no congratulations from him. He collects her winnings, and gives her a small portion of it. Then he gives her the trophy with a pat on the back. She nods her thanks. He didn’t even hold her hand as they walked away from the crowds. You lock eyes with Gloria, and see the longing and loneliness of the woman. “Sy…”

“I know, I know. We won.”

You snuggle closer to him, taking a deep but shaky breath. “Yes. We won.”

@fckdeusername @maan24 @rn7rocks @kaatelyyynn @october505 @absentmindedreader @introvertedmouse

#henry cavill #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x you #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill smut #henry cavill fluff #syverson #superaman #geralt

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merigreenleaf · 6 years

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AU Tuesday - “Stuck With You” Part 9

(For AU Tuesday I’m writing a multi-part story about all five of my main characters using the prompt: “A [platonic] soulmate AU where you have a black stain where your soulmate is supposed to touch you for the first time and it turns to millions of colors once they do.” The events are all [or mostly] canon to the series; the only real change are the soul-marks. These can really be read in any order because each part pretty much stands on its own. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3,Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 10.)

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Sol shoved the pile of half-finished toothpick sculptures aside until there was a big, empty space on his worktable perfect for his Plan. It was a great plan. He fixed performers’ props all the time and there was no way he could mess this up. There was only one problem: he didn’t have the prop yet. It wouldn’t be a secret anymore if he went and got it because everyone would wonder what he was doing in Blythe’s house. Well, Blythe’s and Dray’s and Adair’s house, since they both lived in her wagon now, too. Every day Sol asked Adair to move in with him because that would be like a sleepover all the time, but Adair kept saying no, saying that Blythe’s wagon had a bigger pantry and space for the easel she’d bought him. It wasn’t fair, Sol should rank above food and art supplies. Maybe if he built a really smarfy thing that was part bed, part studio, part kitchen, Adair would move in.

Adair! That was the perfect way to get the prop! Adair could pretend to grab his paint or something, then sneak out with it when he left. Maybe it wasn’t so bad that he lived over there.

“Hey, buddy? Do you know where Dray keeps their props? Can you get me their staff?”

A few feet away Adair was doing his best oversized magpie impression in the very well-enforced nest that was Sol’s bed. Much like Sol had done to the desk, Adair had pushed Sol’s collection of metallic odds and ends and broken pieces of appliances to the side. Sol craned his neck to see what he was drawing in his sketchbook, but Adair closed it and set it on top of the nest-pile before he could get a good look. “Yeah, I guess. Why?”

Sol tugged the sculpture of Adair’s cat free from his arm and put the lid on the glue jar before grinning at Adair. “I’m gonna fix it up for them. Dray’s gonna love it!”

Adair shrugged and headed out the door while Sol went into planning mode. The staff had looked a little dingy and scratched up when Dray danced with it last night. That would have been almost acceptable for a tinkerer like Sol-- until he saw the struggle Dray had separating the pieces to take it apart. It was then that Sol had his brilliant Plan. He’d take Dray’s beat up old staff and fix it up so that it was like new. Better than new! He wasn’t the carnival troupe’s resident inventor for nothing!

Plus Dray seemed so gloomy and sad that Sol wanted to do something to cheer them up. He’d wanted to meet Blythe’s sibling ever since he learned she had one because Sol’s own sibling was great so that must mean that Blythe’s was, too. And then he met Dray. Maybe Dray was great, somewhere under all the cynicism and frowns, but they kept to themself and didn’t really talk to Sol or anyone. Okay, Etri was like that, too, but that was just because he was shy and Blythe had never said anything about Dray being shy. What Dray needed was something to make them feel welcome and Sol knew he was the one who could do it, especially with Adair here to help.

How had he gotten by before Adair sleepwalked into the carnival? Adair didn’t mind holding down things Sol was hammering or grabbing stuff Sol forgot to have ready or taking emergency midnight trips into the city with him to dive through dumpsters. Sometimes his drawings even gave Sol ideas. And since Adair wasn’t here to use it right now, now would be the perfect time to go through his sketchbook! Sol flopped onto the bed and grabbed the book. For a moment the nest teetered, but when only a few pieces of scrap metal clattered to the floor, Sol made himself comfortable and started flipping through the pages. A sketch of a bullfrog, this one probably won’t be helpful… detailed study of a paintbrush tip, no, not this one either… a rough drawing of Dray dancing? Maybe this one would be…

A red sequined bag dropped into his lap. “Is this the right one? Dray’s got a ton of prop bags and they all look the same.”

Maybe if he combined this drawing of a bullfrog with that old cuckoo clock he found, he could make something that croaked the hour. “Huh?”

Adair took the sketchbook from his hands and replaced it with the strap of the bag. “Remember? You asked me to get the staff so you could fix it. Is this the right one?”

“That’s right! Dray’s surprise!” Sol jumped off the bed too fast and stumbled as he slung the strap over his shoulder. The bag swung around and smacked Adair in the head. No wonder Blythe always said he needed to slow down before he hurt himself. Hurting Adair was worse than hurting himself! Adair was his important. He felt for a bump on Adair’s head and didn’t feel anything. Was that a good sign? Would there be a bump already? Sol hurt himself on a daily basis but he wasn’t really sure how Blythe figured out when he needed to be healed and when he needed to be shooed out the door. “Sorry! Does it hurt? Do you need to go to Blade? She always tells me to watch where I’m going and she’s probably right-”

Adair ducked down and out of his reach. “I’m fine. But are you sure you should do this without asking?”

Sol blinked at him. “Hit you in the head?”

“No. I mean, yeah, don’t do that, but I meant fix Dray’s prop without asking. Dray’s really… enthusiastic about their props. I swear they were baby talking to their fire swords this morning. It was kind of weird.”

Sol peeked inside the bag. Adair had picked right despite his constant confusion about props. He called pretty much everything vaguely rod-shaped a baton. In Adair’s defense, all of his paintbrushes looked the same to Sol, and he had yet to hand Adair the right one he asked for. Maybe if he used Adair’s paint to color-code them all… Right, Adair had said something about carnies being weird. “Weird? Oh, with props. All carnies are like that. Etri’s favorite knife is named Pokey. Well, when I say it’s named, I mean I call it that, he doesn’t, but I bet if I do it long enough he’ll pick up on it. It worked with Blythe’s boots Kicky and Kicko.”

“And you’re sure it’s okay to fix it without asking?”

Adair trailed after him and sat on the step stool while Sol took the three pieces of the staff out of the bag. The stool was there so Adair could reach the table built for Sol’s height, but Adair was iffy about using it. Sometimes it was fine, sometimes his fear of heights was too much and Sol had to work on the floor with him instead. That was okay. Having a friend to help was worth way more than a table that was usually covered in last week’s Big Plan anyway.

“I’m not gonna hurt it, just make it better. Like Blade does when we get hurt.”

“But that’s different.”

Sol eyed the staff before connecting and unconnecting two of the parts. They did drag each time instead of sliding silently together and the catch was funny. It was a wonder Dray had put up with this because Sol would have gotten it fixed a long time ago. If he sanded it down and then soldered on a different connector, it should come together much smoother. “It’s not different. She’s a healer to broken people, I’m a healer to broken things. We both fix things. The difference is, she can’t make broken people shoot spikes or ignite with the push of a button, and I can! I mean things, not people. I can’t make people shoot spikes. But things like this staff – Ooh! Maybe I can make the staff ignite! And shoot spikes! And then ignite the spikes! And then-”

“Okay, yeah, I guess that makes sense. You go do that and I’ll… umm… be over here.” Adair retreated to his nest, which Sol thought was a little silly because it wasn’t like he’d added the spikes yet. Maybe if Adair sat there long enough, though, one of Sol’s piles of scrap would hatch into a little trash vulture or something. Sol could train it to pick through junk heaps, and perch on his shoulder, and say important words like “hello” and “smarfy” and “look out, Blythe’s coming.”

But first the staff. No sooner had Sol pushed the third piece into place when a voice that wasn’t Adair’s rang across the wagon, “You thief!”

The staff dropped to the table with a clatter. Sol glanced over his shoulder and, not seeing anyone there, lifted his arm to see in the blind spot caused by his biceps. There Dray stood with their hands on their hips, wearing a scowl so much like Blythe’s that Sol wanted to hide despite Dray being half his size. “Wh-where?”

Unlike Blythe, Dray’s furious expression and hands-on-hips didn’t turn into foot-tapping or counting. Sol hated when Blythe counted at him. It make him lose track of his thoughts every time and that meant never knowing what it was she wanted him to stop doing. Dray glared up from the level of Sol’s elbow. “I’m looking at him. You took it.”

Dray wasn’t all that scary, really, not after knowing Blythe for so long. If all they were going to do was stand there and accuse Sol of… something… without even throwing numbers at him, Sol was going to get back to work. He picked up the staff again and ran his thumb over the second connector. “I took what?”

“That! That right there!”

“This?” Sol looked at the staff, then back at Dray. It turned out he didn’t need counting to lose track of what they were arguing about. Huh, you learn something new every day. “What about this?”

“That!” Dray took their hands from their hips so that they could gesture at the staff. “You took that!”

“I took this?”

“Yes! You took my staff!”

Oh! Now Sol remembered why Dray was here. It was Dray’s staff that he was going to make shoot flaming spikes. He grinned at Dray and nodded. “Yeah! Yeah, I took your staff.”

There was a brief pause between them, then Dray cleared their throat. “Well? Can I have it back now?”

“You mean the staff?” Sol pointed at the staff with the hand that wasn’t holding it. He wanted to be clear that Dray wasn’t talking about something else.

“Of course I mean the staff!” Dray gestured wildly toward the ceiling now. “What else have I been asking about since I came in here?”

“But I’m not done with it yet. I have to be a healer to it because it’s a broken thing and I fix broken things.”

“There’s nothing broken about my staff.”

Dray lunged for it and Sol reflexively lifted it up above his head. His knuckles scraped the ceiling and it hurt a little, but he knew Dray wouldn’t be able to reach it. If Dray would stop yelling, Sol could have had this done five minutes ago. Maybe not the spikes yet, that might take a while, but the fixing part would be finished. “Yes there is! I have to sand it down and solder on a new catch so it slides together better--”

“Give. Me. My. Staff.”

“--And it doesn’t shoot spikes or light them on fire yet--”

“It’s not supposed to do that, you goon!” Dray hopped onto the step stool and reached for the staff, their fingertips falling short yet close enough that Sol feared they'd be able to grab it if they jumped.

Sol needed to make Dray understand. It was a present to make them happy and now they were just about the opposite of happy. Or was sad the opposite of happy? Dray wasn't sad anymore, and that was what Sol had been going for, but angry wasn't what he wanted either. “But it was going to! It was going to be a surprise and now I told you and it’s not a surprise anymore.”

“What do you mean ‘surprise’?” Dray planted their foot on Sol’s shin and grabbed onto one of his shoulders. Within seconds they had clambered up Sol’s torso.

“I’m fixing your staff. …Surprise!” Despite Dray’s display of human parkour, Sol was having fun. Hey, maybe Dray would want to start an acrobatic act with him. Now that Etri was going to be Adair’s sentinel, he probably wouldn’t be performing much and Sol was going to need a new partner.

“It. Doesn’t. Need. Fixed.” Dray hoisted their way up past his shoulders until they sat astride the back of his neck. Sol waved the staff around, wondering how well Dray could keep their balance. He was pretty sure they were holding on entirely with their knees.

The door to the wagon swung open followed by a voice Sol knew all too well. “Freeze, you two!”

Sol spun so that both of them were facing the shadows standing in the doorway and he was pleased when Dray didn’t even totter. Maybe this could work! He’d have to ask Etri about his future plans and if he’d mind Sol taking on a new partner. He’d have to ask Dray, too, of course, but maybe they--

That was when he realized Blythe was still addressing them in what Sol thought of her “stop-screwing-around” voice. He had no choice but to hand Dray the staff, which they snatched with a gleeful cackle, so he could pluck them from his shoulders and set them on the floor. Adair stood next to Blythe and it took Sol a worried minute to realize he was turning red because he was trying not to laugh. What was so funny?

“Well, I’d say that’s unexpected, but I should have seen it coming when I heard you two bickering. Dray, do you always activate marks by getting into fights?”

What was she talking about? Sol glanced down at Dray to see if they had any idea. Dray must have taken his attention the wrong way because they glared and swung the staff behind their back to put it out of reach.

Adair had returned to his normal shade of brown when he nudged Blythe’s arm. “Can I tell them both? Please? Pretty please?”

Blythe sighed and covered her eyes with her hand. “This is going to be a bad pun again, isn’t it? Every time you ask, it’s always a bad pun.”

“There’s no such thing as a bad pun.” Adair gestured with both hands at Sol and Dray. “I guess this means they’re sole-mates.”

“I knew it. That’s the same dumb pun you’ve been making since you met Sol.”

“No, it’s not! The other was about Sol. This one’s completely different. I mean, it does make them sole-mate Sol-mate soulmates, but it’s a completely different joke.”

“Oh no,” Dray muttered under their breath.

Sol just stared at Adair. If he waited long enough, maybe Adair would stop saying his name and explain what was going on. To his relief Adair came over and poked him in the side, but his words weren’t any more helpful. “You two must have got off on the wrong foot, huh?”

Blythe and Dray groaned in tandem. Why was Adair talking so much about feet?

“You’re going to be together through thick and shin now, I’ll bet.”

Huh?

Dray held out a hand as though to keep Adair at a distance. “Enough is enough. Sol, he means look at your leg, you doof.”

Finally someone was making sense. Sol did as he was told. The long black soulmark on the front of his leg had changed into the same rainbow of the other marks on his body. He’d always thought the mark looked a little like a footprint and… that was why Adair kept making all the feet comments! Dray’s matching mark to his must be on the bottom of their foot, like Etri and Blythe’s were on their hands and Adair’s was on his back. Maybe Dray would want to share an act with him because they were destined to be important to each other. He let out a whoop and picked Dray up in a bear hug to spin them around. This was great! Now he knew who all of his importants were!

Dray’s only reaction to this was to sigh when Sol put them back on the ground and to tug the wrinkles from their shirt. “I guess it could be worse. Pun-boy over there could be one of my soulmates.”

Adair stuck his tongue out, which Dray ignored.

“Now that I know I’m stuck with you and you weren’t going to steal it, I suppose I can let you have this.” Dray held out the staff only to snatch it back when Sol went to take it. “Under one condition. You only fix it up so it works better. No spikes and absolutely no flaming spikes.”

“Can I at least make the wicks self-ignite when you push the button? I really want to make it have a button that does something smarfy.”

Dray hesitated, but handed it over. “I’m going to regret this. I know I’m going to regret this. Just be careful with it.”

There was no doubt about it. Sol had the best importants! He met Adair’s eyes and didn’t have to say a word. Adair knew exactly what he wanted. “I’ll go move the rest of the toothpicks off the table.”

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(My husband gets co-writer credit this week because he helped me out with writing that argument and then acted it out for me. He’s a goofball! Anyway, I have two chapters left in this story and next week it’s a Dray POV. :) As always, if you want to be taken off the list of people I tag when I share stories, let me know. If you want to be added to the list, also let me know. And please definitely do tag me when you share stories and excerpts and things, too! @ageekyreader @lynnafred @the-gay-hufflepuff @firewritten @joshuaorrizonte @writtenhastily @writerlydays @ava-burton-writing @josephmxa @megan-cutler @dragonscanbeplantstoo @alittle-writer @perringwrites @an-author-in-progress @aceduchessdragoness @madmooninc @thatwriternamedvolk @elliot-orion @wchwriter @lady-redshield-writes @shadow-maker @zachdoesawriting @blogherosix @reeseweston @bluemartlet @pen-for-sword @writer-on-time )

#writing #writeblr #short story #au story #soulmate au #au tuesday #unexpected inspiration series #stuck with you story #UI POV: Sol #I always worry about Sol's chapters being too weird and rambly so hopefully this works! :)#although writing this chapter makes me want to get a staff even more than I already did #dang my carnies making me want to try new props!

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pearls-of-patton-moved · 6 years

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Rom(an)eo and the Set Designer Chapter 2

First Part | Also on Ao3 | Next Part

Patton has had a hopeless crush on Roman for years. But when Roman needs Patton's help with the drama club's production of Romeo and Juliet, Patton just might find his chance to befriend him. Senior year hijinks, mostly fluff, with royality and probably some background analogical.

Word Count: 1879 Pairing: Royality

"What's that?” Patton's mom asks him when she pops into his room with a sandwich at noon on Saturday. Patton's hunched over his desk, when she walks in, frowning at Roman's drawing.

"The set design for the school play." He's been staring at the scribble drawing for nearly an hour now, but he can't figure out where to start on actually coming up with a set design.

"When did you join the drama club, dear? You haven't mentioned this before." She sets the plate down beside him and touches the back of his head fondly.

"I haven't actually joined it, yet." Patton glances over at his lunch with a frown. "Roman asked me to design the set for them a few days ago. The old kid transferred schools, and they don't have anyone with any carpentry knowledge."

"And this is their plan?" she asks, picking up the notebook. "It doesn't look very detailed..."

"No," Patton laughs, "I guess not." His stomach chooses that moment to make its hunger known, so Patton pushes the notebook aside and pulls his sandwich into its place with a laugh. His mother smiles and leaves him to his work once she sees him eating, and Patton glances briefly over at the drawing. It's so sloppy that he's not really sure how he can turn it into something more concrete, so Patton pulls out his laptop and googles 'Romeo and Juliet' in between bites.

Clicking over to image search, Patton realizes that it's all just pictures of the characters, so with a frown, he adds 'set design' to the image search. What comes up consists mostly of very complicated two-story sets with lots of stairs, but searching through them, Patton begins to get an idea of what Roman might be looking for. Arches seem to be a very common theme, and there's quite a lot of fancy staircases, decorating the images. Generally, they all seem intended to give the impression of massive mansions. Quickly, Patton finishes his lunch, flips to a new page in his notebook, and begins to draw.

Patton keeps an eye out for Roman all morning, but it isn't until he walks into the cafeteria for lunch that Patton finally spots him. Roman is sitting on the edge of the table happily chatting with one of his friends. Patton takes a deep breath and then walks over to address him.

"Roman." Roman looks up at Patton's greeting and smiles after a moment.

"Well, if it isn't my wonderful friend, Patton! What can I do for today?" He stands up and falls into a sweeping bow.

"What do you think of this?" Patton asks, holding out his notebook. Roman takes it, once he's straightened from his bow, and looks over the rough outline on it. The set Patton has sketched out isn't too complicated, There's a balcony on the left-hand side, jutting out from a rough stone wall. Just beside that, sits a low wall decorated with goofy little flowers, and beyond that sits a dual backdrop; a wall with open archways set into it, and the impression of the night sky beyond, decorated with goofy little stars and cartoonish crescent moon.

Roman furrows his brows as he examines it, and Patton waits nervously. A moment later, Roman looks back up at him with a grin.

"This is absolutely marvelous! If you're certain you can manage this, it would be perfect for our production!"

"Well, it shouldn't be too difficult. I've done sort of similar projects before, for the animal shelter." Patton shifts his weight and grins. "It'll be fun, I think! I've never really worked in a theatre before!" Roman returns Patton's smile, then turns to his friend and slams the notebook down on the table.

"I've found us a set designer!" he exclaims, catching the attention of all four people who are sitting down already. they all immediately lean over to examine Patton's drawing and he lets out a nervous giggle.

"I'm not exactly the best artist, I promise it'll look better when I actually build it."

"This is amazing!" Valerie offers him a wide grin as Roman slings his arm around Patton's shoulders. Everyone else agrees in loud, friendly voices, and Roman turns back to him.

"So the first meeting is after school next Tuesday," Roman says. "You won't need to come to every rehearsal, so don't worry about that, but we will need you at all the important ones, okay?"

"Sure!" Patton blushes happily at Roman's ecstatic look. "I'll be there!"

When Roman finally allows him to stumble his return to his usual lunch table, he does so with a goofy smile on his face.

On the day of, Patton finds himself standing outside the drama classroom, blinking nervously. Inside the classroom, there's a lot of laughter and singing. Patton is trying to gather the courage to open the door when it bursts open. He quickly jumps back to avoid getting hit and then blinks at the person who's now staring at him.

"Um, hi. Can I help you?" they ask.

"Hi, Roman said I should come to this meeting, so..." Patton trails off, wondering how he can explain his presence, but the other person is already leaning their head back into the classroom.

"Yo, Roman, who's this kid you invited?" they shout, and a moment later, Roman appears at their side.

"Patton!" Roman exclaims bouncing forward to wrap him in a hug. Patton blinks slowly at the sudden contact.

"Hi Roman," he finally manages with a laugh. "I didn't think you'd be this excited to see me!"

"I thought you might have changed your mind," Roman answers, pulling back. "After all, I kind of flung this on you without much warning. But you're here, so come on in! We're waiting to start until everyone gets here." Patton follows Roman into the room and perches on a desk near the group of people who are already in the room. Hakuna Matata seems to be playing from somebody's phone, and three people are singing along to it. Two people are perched on tables, rolling their eyes at the other's antics, and Roman is grinning at the whole group of them.

"Disney's pretty common around these parts," Roman says with a laugh. "I hope you don't mind."

"Oh, don't worry, I'm a huge Disney fan, too!"

"Really?" Roman raises his eyebrow. "How much of a Disney fan?"

"Virgil and I watch Disney movies all the time! We've practically got all the songs memorized!" Patton is excited now, thinking about his movie nights with Virgil, and he entirely misses the smirk Roman sends in his direction.

"Well, in that case, I do believe it's duet time!"

"What?" Patton starts, blinking up at Roman, who's standing directly in front of Patton, offering him his hand and bowing.

"You heard me. A duet, if you will, my lord," Roman says, glancing up without leaving his bow, and winking at Patton.

Slowly, Patton reaches his hand out and takes Roman's hand, trying to fight down his blush. Roman pulls Patton to the front of the classroom and nods to one of his friends, who has just produced a guitar from somewhere.

"I'm thinking I See the Light would work well for us, Jamahl. Patton, are okay being Rapunzel?" Roman says, and once Patton nods, Roman's friend starts playing the opening guitar notes.

"All those days, watching from the windows," Patton begins with a nervous giggle. He's not used to singing in front of this many people, and it doesn't help that he's surrounded by talented performers. Roman's smiling encouragingly at him, though, and with a small smile, he closes his eyes and tries again.

"All those years, outside looking in. All that time, never even knowing." Slowly, Patton begins to feel like he can breathe, even with all these people watching him, and he opens his eyes to find all Roman's friends grinning.

"Just how blind I've been." He can feel Roman's eyes on him, so blinks over at the boy and Roman's grin is huge and suddenly Patton's thinking back to that day on the playground, when Roman had rescued him from Jerkface Lucas. As Patton continues to sing, he thinks about how long he's had a crush on this boy for and he feels a little silly for ever being afraid to try to talk to him. Roman is nice- has always been exceedingly nice.

"And at last I see the light." Patton falls into the chorus, beginning to forget where he is, and who's listening- just remembering how much he loves this song. It's beautiful and simple.

"All at once, everything looks different, now that I see you." Patton finishes the last line of the chorus, smiling up at Roman, who's staring back with unfettered excitement. Silently, they listen as the instrumental runs for a moment, and then Roman starts singing, sounding exactly like he really is a Disney prince.

"All those days, chasing down a daydream." Roman huffs out a laugh at the end of his line, and then glances away, to continue. "All those years, living in a blur."

Roman's voice is even more beautiful up close, Patton decides. All the hours of singing practice have honed his vocal chords into a warm, clear baritone that practically sends shivers running down Patton's spine. Patton glances over at the others, to see if they're as impressed by Roman as he is. Someone- he wishes he knew their name- catches his eyes, and mouths the words 'amazing right?' Patton simply nods and redirects his focus back to the song.

"Now, he's here, shining in the starlight." Patton laughs when he realizes that Roman is changing the pronouns, and attempts a curtsey. Patton almost gets lost in Roman's singing again but catches his cue in time to sing the climax of the song.

"And at last I see the light!" Patton catches a glint in Roman's eye as they sing together, and next thing he knows Romans is stepping up to carefully spin him. Patton tries to keep the focus on his singing, amid Roman's sudden antics, but he nearly trips, and steps away to careful sit on the edge of a table, before Roman decides to pick him up next.

"Now that I see yooouuuu." Patton finishes the last line with a warble, and Roman startles, before bursting into laughter. Moments later, everyone is laughing and Patton stands over them in triumph. He had made them all laugh.

"Alright, alright," Valerie says, walking up to stand beside them at the front of the room. "Everyone's here now, so we can begin if you to goofballs are ready." Patton blinks and looks around the room. Including him and Roman, there are only about ten people here.

"This is everyone?" he asks.

"Not everyone everyone, Patton." Roman's arm descends upon Patton's shoulder once again, and Patton glances up at him in confusion. "We only need the officers for this meeting."

"Officers?" Patton squeaks. "But, I-"

"You're an honorary officer," Valerie responds before he can finish the thought. "As the set designer, you're gonna have to be involved in figuring out logistics."

"Oh." Patton shrugs and goes to take a seat and listens as the entire group begins to debate the distribution of their funds.

#sanders sides #royality #my fics #mine

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therewillalwaysbeapril · 4 years

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Chapter 4: Sixteen Hours

6:30 AM The alarm rang abruptly in the stillness of the morning, a rude shrill noise, splintering our warm, nocturnal embrace and throwing us both into the coldness of the day.

“April, we gotta get up”, I said, mumbling as I shook off the last remnants of sleep. She groaned softly, rolling over and pulling the covers away. “Hey, get up. Geee-tta UGH-PUUUU! Get TU DA CHOPPAH!” I did my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impression loudly and poorly, adding in a loud grunt for full effect.

“Argh, I need muh clothes, my boots, my motorcykalll”, she said, in the same bad Austrian accent without opening her eyes. “Come ONN, do it. Do it Nah-OW!”

Stumbling out of bed, vision still blurry, and nearly tripping over the corner of the blanket now fallen to the floor, I reached over and grabbed from the basket the first item of clothing on the pile of clean laundry that we neglected to fold from the previous night. I pulled open the top drawer of her dresser and felt around for a bra. I threw both toward the bed as I made my way to the bathroom. April put on her top as she stood up. Hair a mess and eyes barely open, April exuded a dreamy, other-worldly quality as she floated from the bed to the sink wearing the dark red floral patterned shirt dress I had bought for her the weekend before. I blow dried my hair into a more presentable state and shaved as she washed her face and finished combing her hair.

I packed April’s belongings into her backpack for her, the both of us hurrying downstairs to my car. After stopping by a McDonald’s drive-thru on the way, we ate Egg McMuffins sitting in the early traffic heading toward Downtown LA. I looked at her as she opened a ketchup packet.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be careful!” she said, laughing as she carefully squirted the ketchup onto her hashbrown.

Briskly walking up the parking lot escalators and half-skipping across Pershing Square, April got to the bus stop just in time as the vehicle screeched to a halt. “WESTWOOD/SANTA MONICA” said the display. A quick kiss goodbye and she was off to class.

8:00 AM The office was dark as I stepped out of the elevator. Walking toward my desk, I was greeted by lights flickering on as motion sensors began to stir. Fresh cup of coffee in hand, I left the kitchen for the far side of the floor toward my favorite viewing spot.

The Los Angeles morning was peaceful when viewed from high above. Cars moved slowly down Broadway; I could hear their distant honking noises in the early rush hour. Construction workers below near Third Street walked carrying their equipment, passing by the shops just beginning to open in Grand Central Market. From my hawk’s nest I saw a cyclist zipping down Grand Avenue past the Museum of Contemporary Art, in front of which a food truck was beginning to set up shop. My breath and the steam from my coffee fogged the glass as I stepped closer to look at the crowd of people gathering by the Broad. The early light bathed my city in a warm amber glow, thawing its sleepy commuters as a new workday began. Flecks of gold and saffron twinkled as the dawn bounced from the stirring skyscrapers and automobiles, blinding me. I, too, was beginning to wake as I finished my coffee.

With my headphones on, back at my desk, I continued sketching out the wireframe concepts from the day before. Wireframes are the foundation of plotting out designs for interactive products such as apps and websites. They are a high level way of designing ways in which someone can use a product and the organization for which types of information and interaction appears on which screen, before a designer has to focus on the finer details such as animations, visual appearances, and the style of smaller items such as buttons. Even though the other designers created wireframes in programs I was also familiar with such as Adobe XD or Sketch, I always took great care in sketching out early ideas neatly on paper. I felt there was a purity in shaping ideas away from a computer, a kind of humility in making things with my hands.

8:30 AM The office is still dim as I make myself a second cup of coffee. This was one of those sluggish days; I felt slow to start, and was glad to still be the only person in the office. There was less pressure this way. I returned to my desk and cleaned up my lines with an eraser, reinforcing others with a Sharpie. Boxes with crisscrosses represented images, various other shapes representing icons and call-to-actions. Simple line patterns signified text, clearly showing the underlying grid to the layout. Adding final touches, I drew an outline of an iPhone over all of the screens before using a green colored pen to create the markings that showed how a user interacted and navigated from screen to screen. I felt pride for the cleanliness of my draft, as I never knew whether the second draft in the computer would be made by myself or a different designer. Finished, and satisfied with my work, I walked over to the simple Kanban board on the far wall and moved the task’s corresponding post-it note from the column labeled “in work” to the column labeled “done”.

Aside from a few coworkers from accounting, the floor was still mostly deserted. Sitting back and listening to the rest of Bach’s Goldberg Variations on my headphones, I fidgeted at my desk for a while. Impatient, I walked back over to the job board and grabbed one of the tasks from the column labeled “backlog” and moved it to “in work”. This should keep me occupied, I thought.

10:00 AM Standup was always kind of fun. Normally I have always preferred to work alone, with headphones on, lost in thought as I built designs and mockups, in an almost-meditative state of flow. However, I liked my coworkers very much, and it was also nice to see everyone at the beginning of the day and update one another on our work progress in the morning as we created the pieces of our product together. I enjoyed this kind of organized interaction that afforded me boundaries and space to create.

<Walalala..>, texted April. It was her way of greeting. Warm and cheerful, albeit at times a little silly, it was a greeting that I had come to love. It would also be a salutation I would receive less and less over time until I would not see it at all. <What you doing?>, she added.

<Lol. You should pay attention! I’m pretty tired too. I don’t think I woke up yet>

<Haha, I miss you a little too.>

<Pfft, you still need me to remind you?>

<Ha, you should pay attention in class. Your mom will kill me if you fail because of me>

11:00 AM Sketches spread out on the table before me, I began to create the second round of digital wireframes. As much as I enjoyed sketching, this step was also one of my favorite things to do. The useful aspect having hand sketches was their looseness — from a high level perspective, during this stage there were still so many possibilities. Creating the first digital wireframe versions, despite their inherent roughness, narrowed down those possibilities. To do so felt like taking a camera lens and turning it slowly into focus. At this stage, it was not a crisp focus, but much more recognizable as a coherent direction. The process was therapeutic as it was methodical; moving through it step by step, there was room to make improvements on the fly, perfecting each idea. However, today, my process of refinement would be interrupted by a different task.

There needed to be a version of our project for a new client, said marketing. A simple mockup of our app must be made in the style of our new client, a baseball team. The refinement of the new screen designs would have to wait. Grumbling to myself a little, I closed the program and neatly piled the sketches into my drawer.

<Heyyy, why u ignoring me?>

<Sorry, some other stuff came up at work>

<I’m sorry. Would you feel better if you ate something? What are you gonna get for lunch?>

<Expensive grass, haha>. “Expensive grass” was April’s name for salad. They always cost more than they should, she would remark.

<btw…>

<what’s wrong?> Nothing good ever happened when April said “by the way”.

<We’re not breaking up. We can make this work>

12:00 PM It is lunchtime. Mood now sour, I didn’t feel like leaving the building. After informing my deskmates that I was taking my lunch break, I grabbed a stale bagel from the kitchen and microwaved it with a slice of cheese. Taking that and a diet soda from the fridge, I returned to my viewing corner.

We had only recently moved into the forty fourth floor of the building from six floors above. The company had now grown bigger and the fiftieth floor was not enough space. However, it was only the design, marketing, and accounting teams on this floor, leaving most of it empty. In fact, we only occupied one corner, leaving the other three quiet and deserted. I enjoyed taking walks around the empty areas, sometimes even bringing my cello to work and practicing in one of the empty rooms during breaks. Today though, I only wanted to look outside and think.

Now midday there was visible smog in the Los Angeles air. Protestors were forming on Grand Avenue. I looked closer, curious as to the reason for this group. I could not make out the writing on their signs. A car accident was visible further down on the 2nd Street intersection, blocking it off. The authorities closed off one of the lanes, backing up traffic. A bus awkwardly took up both lanes as it attempted to merge into the available space. An adjacent driver made a rude hand gesture out of his window. I sighed, feeling exhausted as I learned against the wall near the window. I sat on the floor as I drank my soda and looked out of the floor to ceiling window, thinking. The conversation I thought of was not with April, but one with someone else, from a different day, in a different language.

•••

<Yeah, I took her to the airplane museum the other day.>

<Well, she kept asking me to stay over, and then I had to stay with her after she crashed her car. Lately though, she tells me she just doesn’t like it when I’m away. It feels weird, but I’m really happy with her and I love her, so I guess I’m not complaining. She’s been coming to work with me and taking the bus to school too>

<Hey, you should pace yourself. All couples need their space from time to time.>

<Maybe? Sometimes I go to work and five minutes after I leave she texts me that she misses me. I think she’s very sweet.>

<Okay, I’m just looking out for you. What if she turns out to be one of those possessive types?>

<Hey! I knew it!! Is that why you didn’t answer any of my calls or texts last winter in China?>

<Sorry. I guess it’s just weird, what happened between us.>

<Well, nothing happened between us!>

<I know! Well, I don’t know. You are one of my best friends, and what happened affected me very deeply. It may have been nothing to you, but it was definitely something to me.

<I’m sorry about that. I really am. I was as confused as you too. I never meant to be cruel. I hurt you, and I ended up hurting myself too.>

<I’m glad we’ve moved past it and we’re still friends>

<Yes, I remember. And I will keep my word. I just need to figure this out. She’ll come around eventually. I really think the two of you would become great friends.>

<Well, you gotta figure it out eventually, because this is just awkward what you’re doing>

•••

1:00 PM I snapped back to reality as my phone alarm went off. It was time to go back to work.

The caffeine was beginning to wear off. Still debating whether or not I should have a third cup of coffee, I flipped through the Android Material Design Guidelines online, pondering what visual branding treatments were acceptable within Google’s design parameters. Writing down the correct color hex values on a notepad, I began to change colors on app elements in Photoshop, reskinning the interface. The phone beeped again, as another text message arrived from April.

<I’m sorry. I want to stay with you too. But I’m so worried>

<About what?>, I answered.

<Yeah, but what if we DO break up eventually? You’re not a doctor and I’m supposed to marry a doctor.>

I stopped working. Taking off my glasses, I sat back in my chair, rubbing my forehead. I was getting very tired.

, I texted back.

<There’s nothing wrong with what I do. I am a designer and I’m good at it. I make a decent salary and I like my life>

<It’s different>

<Well that’s just your viewpoint. We’re just different, I guess>. I saved my work and walked to an empty conference room.

<Why do you even love me?>, I texted. My thumbs began to sweat. Typing was becoming difficult.

<I’m getting back to work>

I stomped back to my desk, angrily chucking my empty soda can into a nearby wastepaper basket. A couple of coworkers stared.

3:00 PM For the next two hours, I tried my best to focus on creating more animations. More interactions. I compared the mockups I made against the Android and Apple guidelines. So far, so good. Sending the finished mockups back to marketing, I went back to the kitchen and made myself the third cup of coffee.

I chugged the hot beverage, nearly searing my throat. I went back to designing the wireframes. There were only three hours left in the workday, and I originally wanted to have had this perfected at the end of the day.

<Are you done with class yet?>. There was no answer from April.

Frustrated, I placed my phone face down on the table and returned to the designs. These have to get done, I thought. So little time. Fuming, I angrily threw the boxes together on the computer screen, connecting the button hotspots together as violently as someone could inside a digital space.

“Hey are you ok?”. It was Julie, who sat across from me behind my monitor. “I can hear you breathing from here”

“I’m fine”, I said. I sat back in my chair and looked at what I’ve made. It was sloppy and nowhere near the level of detail that I have been known for around the office.

“Take a break man. I just got an email that we have until the end of the week for these screens now”

“Oh…”

“Yeah. You can just chill”

“I think I’m gonna take a walk then.”

4:00 PM I looked at my watch as I waited in the elevator. Who does she think she is, I thought. So what if I’m not a doctor? Life can’t only be about status. I was so mad. That is such a shallow way of thinking! And it wasn’t me who started all this. I was just minding my own business working. She was the one who had to bring up Taiwan, and her parents’ crazy expectations for who she should be dating.

I walked outside briskly in the shade of the tall buildings. It was much louder now that I left the lobby. A street performer was beating a drum across the intersection. A crazy person was yelling about the end of times on the other corner. Good. Noisy enough that no one could see how angry I was.

And I hated the way she texted. How am I supposed to always be at her beck and call? I have a job to do; I can’t be there to simply answer every time she worries about crazy hypotheticals. I was doing fine today, I should’ve simply not answered. And now that she’s finished ruining my day, she’s stopped texting and has gone back to whatever she’s doing leaving me to pick up the pieces. Every single month, we have to have some fight about something completely stupid like this. Every single month —

Oh.

April had complained about being tired. April had experienced stomach pains during class. I counted the days since the last time I remembered similar complaints. There were many things I remembered for her. April could be so forgetful.

“Twenty-seven, twenty-eight….”, I counted in my head. I knew what she was going to need.

I stopped at the Rite Aid on 5th and Broadway. Quickly making my way through the aisles, I picked up a pack of Ibuprofen, a box of what appeared to be feminine pads, and a bottle of water. The cashier handed me the items in a paper bag after I made my purchase. Strolling further south, I began to think about what transpired.

Did she really mean all that she said? Perhaps a deeper question was, WHICH of what she said did she actually mean? You can’t tell someone you love them for who they are but also want to change them, I thought. Girls just say crazy things during their time of month right? I checked my phone.

Still no answer.

This is bad, I thought. Perhaps I was too harsh. Her car is in working condition. She chose to take the bus because she genuinely wanted to spend time with me. And now she’s probably on the bus home, in pain. All for me. I’m such a jerk, I thought.

Ducking into Bottega Louie on 7th, I bought a box of half dozen French macarons. They were rather pricey, but came in a beautiful box and were, I had heard, delicious. The small rigid box was not unlike jewelry packaging, with beautiful calligraphy and gold speckles dotted throughout its powder purple surface. It was a small gift that was sure to brighten up anyone who was having a less than perfect day.

6:30 PM The workday was now over as I closed my work laptop and packed away my things. The bus from UCLA arrived as I waited on a bench in Pershing Square.

“Hey what took you so long?”, I asked as I took April’s bag from her.

“I had the most horrible day!” she said.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize I sounded so mean—

“No, not you! My period started and I forgot to bring pads so I had to use tissues. And my phone died, and then the bus had to take a detour. So I needed to get off and wait for another bus, but I couldn’t use Google Maps and I’m so tired and I just want something to eat”

“Well, first things first I guess”

I handed her the box of macarons and discreetly showed her what was in the paper bag. “Let’s find a bathroom,” I said.

She looked into the paper bag. She looked at me. She started giggling, the happiest I’ve seen her all week.

“What? What is it?”

“Have you never bought pads before?”

“Well, no, but I figured you needed them. Was I right?”

“Those are panty liners, not pads!”

“Oh.”

“It’s okay, I’ll be alright. Cmon, let’s eat”

•••

8:30 PM After April had a chance to change, I took her to a nearby Hong Kong styled cafe. It would be nice to have some porridge, she said.

As we sat down and waited for our food, by reflex I folded April’s chopstick wrapper into an origami chopstick stand, as I have always done since our first date. I looked out the window into the dark.

The San Gabriel traffic outside was a lot calmer compared to the city. It was quiet and I could just make out the sounds of crickets. A high school couple walked out of the boba shop across the street, laughing to themselves, carefree. An elderly man picked out a newspaper from a box near the entrance. I felt a soft caress on my forearm.

April handed me a crudely folded flower made from a chopstick holder.

“I’m sorry about today. I keep forgetting how to fold that fancy origami, but I want to thank you for taking care of me.”

She smiled the familiar funny smile.

•••

9:30 PM As we walked in the darkness at a nearby park, digesting our meal, I stayed quiet. How can I make all nights like tonight?, I thought. Is there really an expiration date to our happiness?

Perhaps reading my mind, April said, “I don’t know what we’ll do if I really have to leave…”

I looked at her and kissed her forehead.

“Whatever”, she added. “If I have to go back to Taiwan, I guess I’ll just get another boyfriend, and it’ll be a doctor this time! HA HA!”

I did not laugh.

I let go of her hand and walked a few paces ahead, sullen.

“I’m kidding!” April grabbed my arm. “I really do love you, alright?”

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kitchenism · 7 years

Text

self care

this is just a little something i made for my own future reference and for anyone else who wants to read it and consider the points i have mentioned. this is not professional help, this is just me sharing my personal tips and ideas to actually make yourself feel better about yourself/life or be more productive.

the general

this is a general, broad category of things that i have observed works for almost everyone and really helps to free up mental space.

-have some kind of outlet. i honestly cannot emphasise how important this is. an outlet does not necessarily have to mean a journal where you pen your thoughts or a person you confide in. an outlet is any activity that helps you get a clearer understanding of situation, anything you do to make yourself feel more at peace with the world. it could be a creative outlet like a pastime, a hobby or any pursuit you really enjoy or it could simply be taking a walk down your favourite streets. everybody is different, not only in who they are but also in what stimulates their intellect/how they perceive a situation. always know that no matter what, you can only free yourself by doing you.

if you don’t know what your outlet is, then keep doing the things you enjoy and try new things. something eventually will click, and sometimes a comfort zone can be found outside the regular one you live within.

-take breaks. sometimes the world gets too fast paced for us to keep up with it. at these points, when life feels overwhelming, it is important to realise your strength and to take some time off to recuperate. it’s basically just releasing the tightly held reins and letting yourself relax. whether it’s school, college or work, just take a few days off and treat yourself. read books, watch movies, cook the food you love to eat. if social media is getting toxic and it very often does get extremely toxic, just leave for a couple of days. unfollow people you don’t want to keep up with, clear out your profile of things you don’t like to see and do not feel obligated to the tedious social life if it is hampering your mental wellness. your health comes before any instagram caption or tumblr edit.

-plan your day out either in the morning or the night before. okay, so this may seem really random but it is something that really helps me to be more productive. i love to elaborately journal out my to-do lists and my daily schedule in my bullet journal. but that is just what works for me. if it isn’t your cup of tea or you simply don’t have the time, take ten minutes out before going to bed or wake up ten minutes early to just plan out your priorities and tasks for the day and a rough idea of when you have the time to get them done. it honestly saves you from that last minute rush, panic and anxiety of unfulfilled deadlines or that late night realisation of the homework you forgot to do. it leaves a lot more time to do the things you enjoy without having a guilty conscience.

-do the things you enjoy. okay, this could honestly be anything from taking long, pampering baths to working out to writing a novel. just do what releases your pent up mental energy. it is extremely important to release your energy in the form of something productive or satisfying before it gets converted to negative mental space which attracts either depressive thoughts or anxiety.

the personal

this is just a list of things that personally work for me. like i said, this is for my future reference as well and if anyone would like to try any of this, feel free.

-looking good. this may sound extremely narcissistic but it isn’t what it sounds like. wearing the clothes i feel i look good in, doing my makeup just to look pretty for myself really boosts my self confidence. i love doing my own photoshoots and having a good time. it doesn’t have to be for social media or for anyone else, it just makes me feel better about my body and features.

-bullet journaling. i absolutely adore making my daily schedule look pretty enough to motivate me to do the things written down on it even if it means doing a chapter of chemistry in two hours. it gives me a sense of self-accomplishment that is extremely satisfying and actually gives me the motivation to do more things just to know that i have been productive.

-completing unfinished work. that one half finished sketch lying at the back of my file, that unwritten idea for an essay buzzing in my head, the research on greek mythology i started but never really progressed with- when i actually try to finish doing some of these things in my free time, i feel so good about actually getting something personal done?? i don’t know if this is just me but finishing work really gives me a boost.

-doing new things. just as much as finishing previously set tasks, starting to do something new and setting myself goals to try and master it gives me a really strong sense of motivation. it could be anything, learning to play an instrument, learning a language, mastering computer technology, whatever floats your boat works here. you just need to have the drive to actually get it done.

-detoxing. this is really important to me personally. very often, i just go through all my social media accounts and delete everything negative or associated with a negative memory from them. it could be changing an instagram caption to deleting entire pinterest boards. not continuously being reminded of unhappiness helps the goal of being genuinely happy. i block people i don’t like even if it means losing followers, unfollow pages/blogs/boards that have negative vibes and try to keep myself and everything associated with me positive.

-talking opening up to someone i trust really helps me. i am lucky enough to have understanding people in my life who either remind me to keep hope in the future or give me the encouragement to drive myself out of any negative space i get into. that push is often necessary and helps me to actually come back on track and work.

-working and achieving the goal i worked towards. even if i don’t achieve the goal, i will invariably learn something important along the way or achieve an entirely different goal that is equally satisfying. but this is valid if only i have genuinely worked hard. it keeps me productive and busy enough to not involve myself in anything unnecessary.

-cheat days. this is silly but so important! some days are just meant for lazing around, eating good food, painting your nails, watching television or reading books and sleeping. these days are as important as the days you work really hard to get something done. they let me feel relaxed and rejuvenated and give me the incentive to work harder.

this list is by no means complete. i’m still discovering what helps me to be a better, happier person and i’m sure there’s lot more than just this. i’ll probably keep editing this, helping myself to grow and become the best of who i am. this is important for not just me but also my surrounding space and this holds true for every individual.

i am not a professional and if anyone is suffering from crippling mental disorder or serious disability, you should first see someone who knows the subject and can help. but if you’re set on recovering, if you have the motivation to get better, i’m reaching out to you. i’m still learning, stumbling and getting back up myself. i want to recover and i’m trying my best to figure out how. i don’t know everything, nor do i claim to. but i’m trying to know who i am.

this post is just me trying to help anyone on the other end of the screen who wants to have a starting point. humanity is a community and we all deserve help and should consider it a duty to help others.

i love you all.

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franeridart · 7 years

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hi. hello. this is a bit embarrassing but i'm trying to buy my bf a tablet sort of thing so he can draw his arts. he's been wanting one forever but hasn't rly shown me which one he wants. i want to surprise him n buy a good one worth the money n was just curious if you had any suggestions. i've looked into wacom products, but i'm just such a noob to these things n was hoping you can help... i understand if this is silly, you don't have to reply! ur just so amazing, ur opinion is trustworthy 😅☺️

Okay, so, this is just my opinion and since it’s based completely on personal experiences it’s gonna possibly be incredibly different from other people’s opinions, so I just wanna make clear from the start that this is a personal preference and isn’t in any way meant as an absolute truth

Anyway, as far as I’m concerned when you’re just starting out you don’t need anything fancy at all. As an aspiring digital artist your bf might have looked up tablets and cried tears of blood over how much he’d like a cintiq or anything similar, but my very personal opinion is that fancy stuff is gonna be pretty much useless to you and be generally a waste of money? You’re just learning, you don’t need anything more than the basics. My suggestion is that you pick something simple and easy to use - I own this wacom intuos, had it for a long while and I like it a lot, but there’s also less expensive options you can go for too that people seem to like just as much! I’ve lately read on my dash about the Huion H610, they say it doesn’t cost much at all but it’s just as good as the Intuos, that could be a good option for you~

Anon said: Hey!!! I was wondering if its ok to rb your oc art? I realized a lot less people rb those and i get anxious easily so... also i really don't want to disrespect either! But i always thought of rebloging as a way of saying "i appreciate your art" and i really really (really ) like yours (both the style and itself in general). (I hope you dont mind my bad english ha ha) i hope you don't mind this stupid ask! Im still kind of new to tumblr

It’s 100% okay!!!! *O* Thank you for liking them enough to want to reblog them ;A; !!!!

Anon said:i miss ur bokuroteru so much 😭💕 i love ur art but whenever i see ur header, i just remember ur bokuroteru comic and my heart cries storms for them to be seen again.

Aw anon I’m super happy you like my stuff for those three but as of now inspiration in that department is... super low... and tbh the haikyuu fandom is being incredibly unresponsive and non-vocal about their appreciation of fanworks in this period so even when I do have ideas for that fandom I sort of. Let them go. Or just sketch them out and never finish them.

Like, you know the whole deal about having to draw for yourself and not for others? That’s what I do 100% of the times when I’m starting a drawing, but to draw for myself I don’t exactly need to finish a drawing, you know? Sometimes there’s a scene I wanna see and I sketch it out in a super rough way and as far as my personal desire to see it goes I’m satisfied with that, and everything after that - the cleaning and lining and maybe even coloring - I put the effort in it because I want to share it with people. And the deal with the Hq!! fandom lately is that they don’t share my excitement for it. They either only like it, or don’t comment on it, or comment only to complain about this or that thing. In the worst case posting hq!! only ends up with people asking me to draw something else (ie I feel like drawing Karasuno so I draw it and post it and no one comments/rb/says anything about it but there’s 20 asks in my inbox asking me why I haven’t drawn any bok*ro lately)

When I think about posting stuff for hq lately I automatically compare it to posting stuff for bnha where I could draw a background character that appeared once 120 chapters ago and there’s still gonna be people that go “yes! that character!! I love that character!!! can’t believe there’s actual art for it oh my god!!!!” - that’s... that’s the sort of reaction that makes you wanna share stuff

I dunno, maybe I’m just expecting too much out of the hq fandom. But anyway, sharing for bnha makes me way happier and glad I decided to finish a drawing lately, so I guess that’s what’s happening there.

Anon said:Every time your soft doods art shows up on my dash I have to pause and take a deep breath and just thank god for all the good in the world because I'm blown away every single time

This is s o s w e e t oh my god ;A; thank you so much!!!!

Anon said:Johnny is a fucking angel dammit. Have you read the new DGM already?? I'm in tears. I love this manga so much. The frequency of the releases are killing me... it has such a great story and great characters. It needs more love

I did read it!!!! And yeah the fandom used to be way bigger, but honestly I’m glad it’s just the couple dozens people it is. Like a small town where everyone knows everyone else. No drama, no discourse. Everyone ships what they want and we all pass each other tissues to dry the tears. The only argument that happens regularly is people complaining about the relase schedule and the old fans telling them to let Hoshino live. A good place, this fandom’s a good place.

DGM was my playground for most of my experimenting as far as creating art goes, I really did reach in all directions with it through the years and it helped me shape myself a lot, so I really want it to stay quiet and nice and peaceful, that’s my dream for it haha smaller fandoms have a better chance to keep that freedom

Anon said: Oh man, I live for that Togata x Amajiki interaction

You talking about the color spread cause yes that was adorable!!! ;A;

Anon said:I look a little, and do you still draw Bakugo x Kirishima x Kaminari?

Sure, it’s still my main ship for Kaminari and my main ot3! Just wait for Denki to start being relevant in the manga again, I’ll probably fall headfirst into it all over again haha

Anon said:Your art is so wonderful you're wonderful everything's so wonderful i'm crying omg

SOB no anon you’re wonderful!!!!

Anon said:Due to my brain not wanting to cooperate with me (ever), Bakugou Katsuki is now Batsuki Katsuki in my head.

This is the funniest thing I’ve read today and I’m in t e a r s hahaha

Anon said:Artistic!Mina making pop art and colorful paintings :o what are ur thoughts

HELL YES that’s my main headcanon for Mina, she’s definitely an artsy girl!!! I like the idea of her sharing it with Bakugou t b h

Anon said:I'm still just repeatedly looking at your newest KiriBaku because hot damn.

I’m super glad you liked it!!!!!!! oh my gOD!!!!!!!

Anon said:Heyy please rec Kami comics please! I'm in a Kami art shortage and I currently can't find art as awesome as yours...

I’m so sorry I wish I could help you with this but I don’t know anyone who draws lotsa Kaminari either ;---;

#fran answers #about the tablet #personally i started with a tablet that wasn't a wacom #it was okay to learn the basics but it lasted maybe six months top #and then i had to change it #which is why now im sorta wary about giving my money to other brands #considering that after that i only bought two tablets #both wacoms #and technically i didn't even have to change the first one my family just bought me a new one out of the blue #so yeah people can say whatever they want about wacom but they ARE quality and durable #that said that experience with other brands happened over ten years ago #and the brand wasn't great anyway #so like it's totally possible that new brands are WAY better #check for the reviews! most people are saying they love them #so i guess if your budget is limited you CAN go for another brand #the one i linked is pretty damn huge too im #really tempted to buy it myself t b h #anonymous

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bokunoherodoodledscenarios · 7 years

Note

Do you write for monoma? Could you do one where he confesses his love? By the way, this is a really creative and cool idea!! Getting little sketches with inagines really makes it 110% more immersive! Thank you for starting this blog!! 💙💙💙💙

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE I COULDN’T GET THE CHARACTER RIGHT

Neito Monoma

He had always talked down on your class. You were never a confident one to begin with, so you had always chose to ignore it. You had met when he had taken all of your teams headbands at the sports festival, except yours. You felt your whole back sweaty as his intense gaze had made goosebumps appear on your body. He was after you, but you wouldn’t let him have your band. No matter what.

“I’m coming for you sooner or later.” He eyes you up and down as you stare at your feet, pretending to ignore him. “Don’t ignore me~” He says as they come up behind you and try to snatch your headband. You turn around with an innocent look as you see his hand going to your head, you meet his eyes with a cute gaze and he stumbles as you distract him and pull one of the 4 headbands off of his neck.

“W-what.” he says blankly as he watches your team scatter off, you turn around and give him a smile. Serves him right for talking down on your class like that.

“Tsk.” he looks away and focuses on another team.

After the festival was over, you had placed fairly high. You knew you would get some good internships, which is all you wanted.

“You did good out there, Y/N. Too bad you didn’t win.” You turn your head to see the blonde smirking at you.

“It’s cute how you talk down to somebody who doesn’t even know your name.” You say as you put your hands on your hips and smile. He is silent for a moment, as he stares at your hands on your hips. “Confident now, are we?”

“Not at all, I actually kinda hate myself.” You say playfully as you turn and walk away, leaving him confused once again. Why would you hate yourself? Were you challenging him?

After the 2 day break, you made it back to school and you saw him standing outside your classroom door. He scoffed under his breath as your classmates had passed him, you figured he was only there to antagonize somebody. You choose to ignore him as you try to walk past.

“Don’t ignore me now, Y/N.” You jumped. He was waiting for you? You decided to turn around with another one of your innocent, cute looks. You saw him jump back a bit, possibly taken aback by your captivating face. He looks down to collect his thoughts before looking back up.

“Monoma. Neito Monoma.” He flashes you a small smile and you just stand there, now you’re the confused one. He sees the confusion in your face and starts to hesitate. “What, are you too good to talk to me now?” He huffs and stands straight. That wasn’t it at all, you just didn’t realize how cute he was close up.

“You have pretty eyes.” You blurted out and you felt your hands instinctively aim to cover your mouth, but no. You decided to play whatever game he was playing, so instead you just stared at him. His eyes widen a bit as he bites his lip. This wasn’t going the way he planned and you could tell it was frustrating him. As soon as he opened his mouth to make a snarky remark, the bell rang.

“Eat with me at lunch.” He blurts out as he looks away from you. You smile and don’t answer him as you walk into class. He stands there, dumbfounded. Was he just turned down..? Is this really a challenge of some sorts?

At lunch you spot the boy sitting alone playing with his food. You walk over and slam your tray on the table a rather harshly, startling him. He looks up and flashes a smile. “So you decided to come.”

“Did I really have a choice?” You smiled back.

This is how the next few weeks had went. Making snarky remarks at each other, you never showed him your unconfident side. You tried to match him confidence, and you could tell he thought of you as a rival. Was that a good thing? You had grown fond of the boy. Dare you say, you had a little crush on the fact that he had become so challenging for somebody as unconfident as you. You had to admit, it upset you how he had viewed you. Whether he saw you as a threat or not, he always had a remark that somewhat hurt your feelings. You would never show that though, right?

You had had a really rough day. You wanted to go home and curl up into bed and cry. As you packed your backpack you felt hot tears swell up in your eyes. Your body was sore from training, you had to show the class your new move you had been working on for weeks. It didn’t go as planned, and you ended up sitting in the infirmary for almost all the day. All your hard work, for nothing. As you were the last to walk out of the classroom, you didn’t notice the figure leaning next to the door.

“Don’t ignore me, Y/N.” He smirked to himself, proud that he got to say those words again.

“Monoma.. today isn’t my day. Please leave me alone.” you mumbled, without turning towards him you walked away. He wasn’t going to have any of that. You actually ignored him this time! He sulked after you till you had walked out of the school, he wasn’t going to have any 1-A jerks watch him chase after you.

“I said don’t ignore me, Y/N!” He was out of breath when he caught up to you about a few blocks away from school. You didn’t turn around, shocked that he had followed you all this way and you didn’t notice.

“If you took all that time to follow me, you can come in and grab a bite to eat.” You avoided eye contact again and kept walking, a few seconds later you heard his footsteps start up too.

“What’s up with you?”

“…”

“Well, besides you, I had a good day today.”

“…”

The conversation was one sided till you made it to your door, as soon as you unlocked it and let him in, you had looked up at him for the first time that day. His mouth dropped a bit as he saw the sunken, glossy eyes you had possessed.

“Hold me.” You directed him and he jumped back a bit before wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace. You didn’t want to show him this side of you, ever. It was too late when sobs started to erupt from your throat. You had waited for him to remark this, but for once he just stood silent and pet your hair.

You had thought about the position you were in. Standing in front of your door, sobbing into this boy’s arms with one shoe off of your foot.

He lets go of you and you stumble a bit, you had all of your weight on him. He walks past you to go sit on your couch, still silent. This had to be a world record. You stared at the door for a second, confused, you turned around to see him staring at you from the living room. A light flush on his face with his arms held out to hold you. What exactly was going on right now??

You felt your body pulling yourself towards him, as you layed down on the couch and put your head in his lap.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” He had finally decided to speak up.

You turned your head to look up and face him. “I’m not as confident as you think, Monoma. I actually really kind of..”

“Hate yourself?” He finished your sentence. You laughed a small laugh and put your hand on your face, embarrassed you had actually said that the first time you had met.

“When I first stood in front of the door for you, I wanted to talk to you to try and understand why you said that. At first.. I thought you were just intimidating me. Till we started talking, It felt like you were really trying your hardest to challenge me.” He paused for a moment before he looked down at you.

“I’ve known for a while you have no confidence. Besides, who would want to rival with me anyways?” He scoffed and smiled a small smile.

“You don’t understand, I never wanted you to know this..” You could feel yourself getting choked up on your words. “Maybe.. I just wanted to impress you.” His eyes widened and his face dusted a light pink.

“Obviously I didn’t do a good job.. I really do hate myself..” You felt tears fall down into your hair as you looked up at the boy, this was the first time you had seem him ever frown. No matter how much you had pressured him, he never let you have the winning side.

“Well, I don’t hate you. That matters right?”

You stared at him a little dumbfounded. “I should love myself, only me. I’m just a screw up, honestly.”

“Y/N.” You jumped a bit as your name rolled off his tongue, raspy and stern.

“Stop.”

You felt your eyes swell up with wetness as they continued to pour even more.

“Stop talking down on yourself.”

There was a long pause as you both stared intensely into eachothers eyes. You couldn’t see the blush on his cheeks through the tears clogging up your vision.

“Have you ever thought, that, maybe.. I liked you?” It almost hurt to hear him struggle to get that out. What, does he think him just /liking/ you would make everything better?

“I thought we were already friends, Monoma.” You scoffed and you felt his breath hitch.

“No, silly.” He inhales and closes his eyes tight.

“I really like you, and I don’t want to see you this way because it pains me.” He opened his eyes and looked at you with his still pink cheeks, this time, you could see the dusted color on his face.

“Maybe, if we date, you’ll start to feel better about yourself.” He lets out a big huff of air, as if he’s been holding it the whole time.

“W-what.. would that even do?” His eyes widen even more and he looks lost for words.

“I’ll make you happy everyday, what more could you want? I’ll make sure you feel g-good about yourself.” This DEFINITELY wasn’t going right for him, and you could tell. You almost felt an urge to keep it going like you normally would, just to egg him on more. Instead, since he already saw this side of you, You sat up and put your hand to his heated face.

“You really are confident, aren’t you?” You teased as you kissed his cheek.

#boku no hero academia #monoma neito #imagines #my hero academia #scenarios #headcanon

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uncannycookie · 7 years

Text

WIP meme

I was tagged by @sixsaltysweets! Thank you! ^-^

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever.

my original stuff:

1. Chant of Stars (I hate translating titles, it sounds much cooler in German I swear >.<): Emri’s story. It’s a constant construction site. This bloodsucking monster will never be finished. It started out as a classical “Chosen One saves the world from the Big Bad” kinda thing years ago when I was like, thirteen, and by now it’s sort of an attempt to subvert some of those exact fantasy genre clichés. I’m not saying it’s clever or anything, but I’m working on it.

Here are some of the working titles this thing has had throughout the years:

Anxious Mage Is Doing His Best

Trying To Help But Inadvertently Just Making Things Worse: A Character Study

Death And Misfortune. Also At Least One (1) Cute Kitten.

Why Are There No Dragons In This

2. Also, here’s a months old drawing of Emri that I occasionally go back to but have no stamina to actually finish because *gently fingerguns backwards out the door*

3. Desert Sailor: Gil’s story. I’ve translated some snippets of it into English before, they’re here if anyone’s interested. It’s kind of bad since translations are hard and also this is all from the very first draft still, so... eh. I might go back to working on this one when I’m done with ANLG - though the motivation to work on my own stuff is really super low right now. After this whole fanfic experience where people are actually interested in what I write, it’d just be so goddamn lonely to go back to writing stuff nobody reads or cares about T-T

fandom stuff

1. And Nearly Letting Go: I mean. You know this one. It’s probably the only reason you’re following me ^_^;

It’s on a bit of a hiatus at the moment because *quietly backflips out the window* Don’t worry I’ll finish it, I’ve just been working on it for too long now and I need a break.

2. Prompts: I still have 10 or 11 prompts in my inbox. I promise I have not forgotten about them! They’re really helping me getting over my ANLG writer’s block actually, the last one I did was super fun. I’ve started writing 2 more and taking notes on 3 others already. Some of them are very difficult for me actually, but I’ll do my best!

3. Sneak peak of a silly thing that I may or may not finish:

vimeo

I wanted to do 2 of those, but it’s way more work than I thought and I draw very slowly, so lets see if I have enough willpower to complete these.

(Yes even low quality shitposts are too time consuming when I do them. Y’all have no idea how long I take to even finish one simple sketch T-T)

4. Sketches: Since we’re on the subject... I have 2 rough sketches lying around that I wanna finish at some point, one of Mob with a cat (because Mob+Cats will always give me feels) and one of - ehhhh terumob kisses? o///o Which. Yeah. I’m no good at drawing stuff like that so I might never ever post it, but I wanted to give it a try ^_^;

Okay you know what I think that’s long enough, I’m not gonna ramble about all the half finished sketches or vague story ideas I never really started, because most of those aren’t WIPs so much as they are just orphans abandoned by the side of the road at this point.

Tagging friends!

@fireflysummers, @auro-cyanide, @sonicsarah1117, @azeher, @thecommonercomet, @keishota, show me what you got! (As always, only if you want! 💙)

#long post #WIP meme #mp100 #video #my ocs #my writing #fanfic #art or sth

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imamotherfuckingstar-lord · 7 years

Text

The One, part 4

Jim Kirk x Reader

Warnings: angst, a little twist at the end of this one

Summary: It had been years since you had last since Jimmy. The two of you were highschool sweethearts, until you parted ways. After a horrible breakup with your two timing ex-fiance, you transfer to the U.S.S Enterprise. Finally coming face to face with the boy you left behind. Can the two of you work alongside each other in peace? Or will the past come back to haunt you?

The One Masterlist

“They should call you the Meddling Doctor, ” you teased Leonard. The two of you were comparing reports on your PADDs and he had mentioned yet again what had happened nearly a week ago.

“I'm just asking, I can ask questions right? This is my Medbay, or has Jim transferred the duties to someone far less qualified?”

You snorted and placed the PADD down, “What do you want me to say? That I completely embarrassed myself in front of my fellow crew mates? Or that I'm pretty certain Jim hates me? Because that is all just fine and dandy, Lee.”

He rolled his eyes, “You are being over dramatic. Jim doesn't hate you.”

“Well he should,” you muttered under your breath.

Bones gave you a long and hard look, before opening his mouth once again. “So you covered up some silly tattoo. You've said it yourself, it's been years since the two of you were together.”

“So he told you about the tattoo,” you perked up and smiled slyly at the doctor.

“What can I say? I'm just so easy to talk to,” Leonard grinned and you rolled your eyes. “But come on darlin’, what happened between the two of you?”

“Bones,” you warned pushing away from counter and toward the patient in bed 2. Thinking the relentless doctor was done interrogating you, you proceeded to look over the woman in the bed. Until Leonard came up behind you and started pestering you some more.

“Are you speaking on behalf of Jim? Or is it pure curiosity? Because you do what know happened to the cat, right?”

Leonard let out a rough huff and followed you away from the patient, “I'm not going to meow for you, but sure out of pure curiosity.”

You walked over to one of the empty beds and sat on the edge of it, “I'm only going to say this once, so listen up.”

The handsome doctor stood in front of you, hands crossed against his chest waiting for you to go on.

“We were 17, Lee. Kids. I had left for the summer for an art program and well, I never came back.”

“Jesus, so you left Jim behind? Didn't even tell him?”

You winced at his words, because the truth hurt. But you had your reasons. “I did and that's why he hates me.”

Leonard stood quiet for a moment, adding things up in his head until he slowly shook his head. “That can't be just it, you're not telling me something.”

You sighed and ran a hand over your face. Standing up from the bed, you patted a hand onto Leonard’s shoulder. “Somethings are better left unsaid, we all have our secrets Lee. Just leave it alone, please.”

“So she thinks I hate her?” Jim scoffed and leaned against Leonard’s desk. His friend leaned back into his chair and shrugged.

“That’s what she told me, said that some things were better left unsaid. That everyone had their secrets. And then she told me to drop it.”

Jim’s eyes darted to the doctor, “Secrets?”

“Secrets.” Bones repeated, his hand opened the bottom draw of his desk. Jim watched his friend pull out a bottle of whiskey and two small glasses. “You look like you need a drink.”

“Thanks, Bones,” Jim reached down for his drink and quickly took an extra long sip. The drink ran smoothly down his throat and he let out a soft ‘ah’ before nodding to Leonard. “What secrets?”

“How am I supposed to know? You’re the one that was with her.”

“I know, I know. I just don’t understand,” Jim’s eyes peered down into his drink, he whooshed the alcohol around and wondered where it all went wrong.

“What do you mean you’re not coming back!” Jim’s panic voice hit your ears harshly, tears welled up in your eyes. He was staring at you in disbelief, his eyes scanned your face for evidence of humor.

“I'm sorry, Jim. It’s just this place is great and they said I had real talent,” you summoned up a smile and tried to shrug it off. You were dreading this video call for weeks and now this was it.

“But you’ll be back eventually, right?” His face lit up in hope as he brushed hair from his handsome face.You could almost feel his touch on you and it killed you.

Your lips trembled and you wished you could tell him the truth. That you didn’t want to stay, that you wanted to rush home. Right into his arms. But you were scared, terrified.

“I-I don’t know. Maybe, someday,” you whispered, hoping he’d understand.

Jim stood there in silence as his heart dropped hard. What did he do? He must have done something to drive you away, to make you want stay away. He ran a million different moments the two of you had through his head, trying to find the one that made you change your mind. That changed the way you felt about him.

“What did I do?”

“Oh god,” you stuttered pulling back a sob, Jim ran a hand over his face. “Jim it’s not that, I want to be here. I need to be here.”

“You were always a terrible liar,” he laughed dryly. He wanted to be strong, he was strong. “Listen, just have fun. Work hard. Call me in a few weeks. I’ll be here.”

You wiped the tears from your eyes and took a deep breath, “Okay. I have to go now.”

“Alright,” Jim’s voice cracked as he said goodbye. But then he steadied his face and smiled brightly at you. He leaned forward and stared right into your eyes. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Jim. Bye.”

Jim took another sip of the smooth whiskey and thought of that video call, because it was the last time he saw your face. He had lost you for good and he never knew why. And now you were here, nearly 13 years later. For the life of him, Jim could not get over the fact that you decided to board his ship. To transfer knowing he was the Captain. Was it like you said? That you had the desire to be on the best ship in the Fleet? Were you just running away from a cheating ex? Or did you come back for unfinished business?

“Maybe I’m playing myself, Bones,” Jim glanced over to the man, his eyes somber and light. “It has been a long time, we hardly know each other now.”

“That’s all true.”

“Exactly, I’ve gone all these years without thinking much of her,” Jim’s eyes caught Leonard’s unconvinced smile, “Okay, so I thought about her, but she obviously has moved on. So I will too.”

“If you say so,” Leonard finished his drink and stood up from his seat. “Maybe you should start by filling in that little tattoo of yours.”

Jim smirked setting his empty glass down. “I suppose so.”

You stood on the observation deck, staring out into the vast darkness. The stars were so different from up here, you felt homesick. You thought about your parents and if they were okay. You probably should call them soon. Sighing you grip the sketch pad in your hand and flipped it open, you landed on a small sketch. A pair of mesmerizing blue eyes smiled up at you, a pouty little mouth and cute little dimples. You grinned and bit down on your lip.

“I should have never came here,” you whispered to no one. Tears fell down your face, so you moved closer to the window and pressed a hand on the glass. You should have stayed on the USS Inquisitor, but instead you ran away. Ran away from Ranin and his cheating, just like you ran away from Jim. You were cowardly and this time age was not a factor, you couldn’t put the blame on being a sullen teenager. It was time to face the past, to tell the truth. No matter how badly it stung and pained you, it was no longer easy to hold on to. The truth was baring down on you, crushing everything inside you. It needed to be released.

Leonard strolled into the SickBay, assigning a few tasks to the nurses on duty. He took his cup of coffee and walked over to where he had left his PADD, but there were two. He groaned because the other was most likely yours. Setting his cup down he grabbed one of the PADDs and turned it on, it was not his. He flipped through the report, wondering what patient report you were looking over. It was a medical history, intrigued the doctor went through it contently, humming away until something caught his eye. A single line in the report.

Stardate 2250: Gave birth to healthy male.

Leonard quickly scrolled up to the top of the report, trying to figure out who the medical history belonged to. His heart pounded away and he hoped it wasn’t who he thought. But sure enough when he reached the top, your name was right there.

Secrets, he thought. We all have secrets.

Tagging: @captain-almighty @whovianayesha @evilrocknroll @hope-mundane@indierockukbond@feelmyroarrrr @mysterymegal @protontippens @supernaturallymarvellous@rayleyanns @bucky-laufeyson @enaishungry @all-things-nerdy @dr-dean @ladyxdezi @infinity1321 @run-with-the-fandoms @kristaparadowski@curlyhairedblueeyedangel @kitchenwitchsuperwhovian@fantasticimpaladoctor@omgikwangminwoo @usynthpunk @darkchocolaterey@stargirlhorse @tiny-sam-is-my-jam @uss-lesbian @serenityspiral @fizzylollipop12 @ghostlydetectivenerd@pretty-with-andorian-shingles@musingsongbird @andrastesflamingtitties @daughterofthebrowncoats @caffiene-nights @brownbuble @spinsterlocity @mysteriouslyme81@raversam @ababyinatrenchcoat @fandomheadrush @amy-longhurst1699 @chunkymonky11 @randomlittleimp @mspseudonymwho @cassidy-the-crazy-mofo @harleenquinsellovesj @imoutofmyvulcanmind @irony-is-my-life @iwillstaywiththemforever@yourtropegirl @woodlandfoxtea @curiositykilledthecompanion @theonlyparadox @milszymijestpantofelek @thechamberofcaitlyn @captian-hannah-kirk @bluebird214

Forever tags: @my-amazing-nerdyness @naih-reedus @maciiiofficial @casownsmyass @adorable-assbutt @jade-taillia @fangirlextraordinaire @indominusregina @feelmyroarrrr @my-rainbow-wonderland @myhopeisinfinite @girl-next-door-writes @policeofficerdean@dontbeamenacetotheforce @melonberri @theothergirl2212 @superisatomboyuniverse@xloudwhocares @crownie-sr @darkmystress00 @castieltrash1 @hannahsakorax3 @dracsgirl @moonlight53 @makemyownwonderland @dreamwhisper87 @rayleyanns

#The One Series #Jim Kirk x Reader #Kirk x Reader #Jim x Reader #Jim Kirk #James T Kirk #James Kirk x Reader #Star Trek AOS #Jim Kirk imagine #Captain Kirk #star trek fanfiction

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tristikovart · 7 years

Text

A Retrospective of Role

Or “It really took 15 years to get from that, to this?”

If you’d like to share in my cringe have a look at my progress as an artist, then grab a beverage and a snack, because this is gonna be a looooooooong post.

So to go back to the beginning, I have always liked to draw; in particular I’ve always liked animals, so it isn’t much of a surprise that some of my earliest “original characters” were based on my team in Pokemon Yellow. However, it was another Game Boy game called Dragon Warrior Monsters which provided what turned out to be a lasting inspiration. It also only allowed for 4 letter names.

- 2002 -

If I recall correctly, I was on vacation at a lake in New Hampshire with CerebralZero, when I drew my first ever pic of Role:

She also apparently had scaly forearms and a distinct beak here too; those didn’t stay, but she did keep the wings for some time.

Given the context of DWM (monster battling), Role didn’t have a lot of background at the time... Though I did have some running gags with my friend Alex who also played the crap out of DWM, I only drew some of our monsters later on in a single rough sketch.

The first continuity I had after Pokemon. [shudder] This shit is really going back in time for me. Note that Role’s outfit makes no fucking sense; but surprisingly, while Sela at the far right looks like some DeviantArt sparkle-bird abomination, she actually is about as ridiculous as the Rain Hawk DWM monster she was based on (I think in-game she actually ended up in part of Role’s lineage because Rain Hawks learn the MEGA MAGIC skill, and thus she would pass it on to Role through monster husbandry.)

- 2003 -

For a while I gave her some kind of SWAT uniform thing. I’m pretty sure I intended her pistol to be the Enforcer from Unreal / UT Classic. She also went blonde for a while.

Using my sick dial-up internet connection at the time I found out that digital coloring was a thing, and I asked my folks to get me Photoshop Elements 1.0 at our local Staples. I also got a scanner, which ushered in an exciting new world of not being aware of the multiply setting, layers, or cleaning up line-art.

However, Role proved pretty good at rocking out in front of crappy jpegs BGs

- 2004 -.

During this time, I went through a bunch of character designs and continuities (itself amusing to look at; perhaps I’ll make a future post for the truly bored.)

All things considered, when I stuck to pens and prismarkers, I don’t think the result was too terrible. Note the blonde again.

IIRC her outfit above is based off of a pinup wallpaper of Jo from Altermeta gen 1. HOW’S THAT FOR DATED?

ARRGG back to the horrendous digital coloring. I actually did much worse coloring a little bit earlier, if you can believe it. Some basic digital art tips would have a gone a long way back then. Anyway, it was about this time that Role transitioned to a new continuity with one of the several iterations of Gyr, who was my go-to character for a few years. Note Role’s design stabilized around this time with the garish fuchsia eyeshadow, t-shirt, and brown “hair”.

BONUS ROUND: Ryhs Rhys (took me a while to get it straight) is also really fucking old! However, she disappeared for a time, while I kept drawing Role. This cast of characters stuck around for a while, and I drew quite a bit of them, including a number of silly comics, frequently involving my friend’s avatar, Raze, inducing mischief by being a self-important douche.

I certainly drew a lot of pinup art of Role; this habit hasn’t really changed… 2004 had a particularly productive stretch due to me going on vacation to Vermont, again at a lake (similar to where I drew her first pic) and having ample free time to occupy.

This trip was also officially commemorated with a 5 page comic about just that.

- 2005 -

I think this pic was actually late 2004, but either way I still think it stands out as pretty cool for the time. Note Role’s “hair” has transitioned to actual hair from its previous feathery styling. Note the lack of wings too. Also, IIRC the only time she was drawn with closed-toe shoes.

Otherwise 2005 is kinda light on dated pics of Role; probably because I had started drawing Ress more often (another good topic for a retrospective) and had also developed Maru and other equine characters.

- 2006 -

Check it out! Some signs of progress at last! The 2006 iteration of this cast focused on these three (and ditched the wings across the board), as well as folded in the other equine characters to some kind of mid-2000s city life continuity. Role’s shirt also gained a big 01, and might have been her old softball jersey or something.

Around this time, CowBunny, a fellow artist on DeviantArt, also drew me some really cool fanart! CB, if you’re out there, I hope you’re doing well!

I also drew the first (and a little slim) Oktoberfest Role picture, replete with god-awful shift-clicked mouse lines. Note the braids here.

- 2007 -

I had started school at this point, and IIRC I drew this sketch during my first semester, while riding the D-line from Brookline Village to Riverside, on my way back to my school’s temporary dorms at Regis College.

- 2008 -

Doodles of Role (and Maru and Ress in the upper middle) done in various notebooks from school. Note during this time she also developed a bit of a cleft beak for some reason. You know, I still don’t know why despite having one in the original drawing, I always drew her without a defined bill since then (until 2017.) Inspiration from depictions of Chocobos, perhaps?

- 2009 -

Beergirl Role is back! And dammit if this doesn’t hold up pretty well (which I should be glad of, given that I purposely designed this pic to have tattooed on my side!)

- 2010 -

At this time I was preoccupied with graduating college, and then involved in my first job, so while I have a nice picture of Ress from this time, I didn’t get to Role until the following year.

- 2011 -

But hey, she looked pretty good, so I’d say the wait was worth it. Note that I finally got rid of that fucking eyeshadow. Like, it finally occurred to me that I could use other colors. Or Kelly might have just told me it looked like shit.

- 2012, 2013 -

Didn’t draw Role much (if at all?) during this time, as I started another job, started collecting firearms, and chiefly: Started the modern period of Avania! (The history of how Avania came to be is yet another retrospective topic I could go into detail on, if there are interested persons out there.)

- 2014 -

Well, 2013-14 sucked because the start-up I worked for had gone belly-up and money was tight, but never the less I brought Role into the “present” with the third beergirl drawing. Her hair is lighter in this version, but she kept the braids even when not in fraulein-mode, and apparently I liked the way she looked with glasses in that old sketch.

Otherwise I spent most of this time making 3D models of most of the Avania characters to play in Unreal Tournament 3. I even made a model of Role, though I didn’t iron out all the rigging issues, and she was rather out of place among all the other characters I had modeled.

- 2015, 2016 -

I started a new job late in 2014 and I’m still there, so things are looking pretty good. However, I had been working on the Avania comic, and any side art had pretty much been exclusively with those characters. Several times I had thought about adding Role into this now all-consuming continuity, but with one of my design choices being limiting the setting to three sentient races, it meant Role as she was wouldn’t fit neatly into the setting, and so I held off on incorporating her.

- 2017 -

However, early this year I decided that it was high time I found a place for my oldest, continuously drawn character in a setting that I have set out to make a fancy, published (at least digitally) comic out of.

I’ve already been posting sketches of her new design, but say goodbye to the old, and hello to the new Role!

Her old design will always be with me (and I mean literally, given the tattoo) but I’m very happy to actually give her something to do now besides get drawn looking pretty. I’ll probably do some finished art of her new design at some point, and maybe even remake her model for my next Avania UT3 release (though it might end up being UT4 at this point--another project somewhere on the distant horizon.)

2018 UPDATE: Role’s latest incarnation now has a fully rendered pinup! This is her design for the Avania comic (launching summer 2018) so be sure to stay tuned if you’re a fan!

Though her previous designs haven’t had much in the way of military themes, I wanted to keep her overall look recognizable. As such color color scheme has remained the same, and I figured her braids would continue to be appropriate in the new context. As she no longer has a lion’s tail, I decided to braid that as well so as to keep the tufted and ribboned look. One other thing that has evolved is her personality; though she past wasn’t ever particularly defined, Role always seemed fairly happy, friendly, hard-working, and a little flirty. In light of her new history growing up in dire times and serving during the final days of her country, her old personality has matured to one of responsibility and self-sacrifice, but has not been entirely overwhelmed!

I’ve really enjoyed Role’s evolution over the years, and I’ve especially enjoyed her recent iterations and the depth that I’ve finally got around to developing for her character and backstory.

If you actually read this incredibly long-winded exploration of my artwork, then I hope you enjoyed it too! If that’s the case, let me know if you’re interested in seeing more posts like this exploring some other long-running characters, or all the early concepts that went into making Avania.

It has been a pleasure sharing my drawings with the internet at large, and I look forward to continuing the habit; cheers!

#artists on tumblr #retrospective #anthro #thicc #OC #tristikovart #role

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