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#edit: the headache is starting. i’m so sad
deklo · 8 months
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having my first migraine aura in YEARS OH GOD
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cherryredstars · 5 months
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1K Prompts
Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x fem!reader
Warnings: Angst, Vomiting
Summary: Things come and go.
Word Count: 970 (Not Edited)
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Something instinctual burns in your chest.
It’s raw and uncomfortable, making you ball your fist and rub your chest. You rub in circles, watching the man pace outside your door as he talks to the doctor. Something in your body tugs you towards him, yelling at you to go comfort him. But you don’t know him, not anymore. Not like he wants you to. So you stay put, a deep frown on your face as you watch their muffled talk. You feel sorry for him. You sit and watch and rub circles into your chest.
It slightly crushed you inside when you woke up with him beside you. His hand clutching onto yours so desperately, like you were his lifeline. Like if he didn’t, you would be gone. It broke you that you already were. 
His eyes had shined so brightly when he saw you were awake, hands shaky as they cupped your face. He was so gentle, so kind as he pressed kisses to your face. He left nothing untouched. Your cheeks, nose, forehead, even eyelids, were greeted with tingling sparks as his lips pressed to them. It caused tears to stream from your closed eyes, fighting down a sob. You mourned the person this man remembers. Mourned the memories that are missing. Mourned the way he loves. Powerful and real and raw. You mourn the fragments in your head that turned him into glass splinters. The light in his eyes died when your lost eyes shone with your lack of recognition. 
Even if you don’t remember him, you remember things about him. You remember that when he’s stressed he tugs at his hair. You remember that his jaw pulses when he tries not to yell. You remember that his face takes on indifference when he’s sad. They come to you as you watch him. He is hurting and pained and sad and trying his best to understand. Something in you thinks he will be patient, another part has no fucking idea what you’re talking about. 
He enters the room again, not being able to look at you. You understand, you wouldn’t be able to look at yourself either. Your hand falls from your chest, giving him a melancholy smile as he sits down again. His hand rubs his lower face, eyes squeeze shut as he breaths. You have to look away, not able to handle the pain you’ve caused. You bite your lip, glaring at the white walls. 
Remember, remember, remember. 
Your head forms a blistering headache and you wince. A warm hand envelops yours, causing you to turn towards him again. He gives you an easy smile, but his hand is comforting as he rubs your skin. 
“Don’t worry about it. They’ll come back. Just give it time.” He doesn’t sound too confident. 
“I’m sorry…” You pause and you want to smack your head. You think, you really, really think. It starts with an ‘M’. You know it does. Manuel. Miles. Micah? Ma…Me…Mi…
“Miguel.” 
Miguel. 
You wince. Oh. You nod, repeating it in your head over and over again. Do not forget this time. Do. Not. Forget. 
He brushes off your words, shaking his head. His hand squeezes yours, and you look down. Your stomach absolutely plummets. This is sick and cruel. You’re going to throw up. You push his hand away, stumbling out of bed. You almost trip over the sheets, and Miguel shoots up at your frantic scurrying. You push your way into the bathroom, throwing up into the toilet. Your chest heaves, throat burning as you empty your stomach. You continue retching even after you have nothing else to give. 
A ring. Rings. Fucking rings. You’re married. You’re fucking married and he’s your husband and you don’t remember him. 
Miguel holds your hair back, rubbing your back soothingly as he says sweet things to you. Sweet things you don’t deserve. God, this man is your husband. Your retches turn into sobs and you collapse onto the floor. Miguel is quick to follow, holding you to him as he shushes you quietly. You clutch onto him, your body singing at his touch and the way he cares for you so deeply. Slowly, he builds you up. 
He carries you back to your bed, kissing the side of your sweaty forehead. You sink into him, clutching onto him for dear life as he tucks you in. He whispers something into your hair, something about getting water before he leaves. In the silence, the loneliness, you try to think about white dresses and chapels and cake. It hurts your head, but you remember flowers and aisles and masses of people.
Miguel comes back, giving you a cup of water. His hand, consciously using the one without a ring, comes to wipe away the tears that are still streaming down your face. You drink the water numbly, feeling tired and fatigued, You sink into the bed, eyes growing heavy. Miguel sits back down before he quickly gets up like he just thought of something. 
Your hand, the one with your ring, grabs his hand desperately. You squeeze his hand, eyes wide awake as you stare at him. 
“Stay with me, please? While I sleep?”
Miguel nods, cooing down at you. I’m not going anywhere, cariño. He’s not going anywhere. You sink back into the bed, watching him sit back down. Your rings clink together as he grabs your hand, rubbing soft circles into your palm. You sink into bed, your eyes falling shut. Your brain is nice to you. It gives you fragments that will become hazy again when you open your eyes. 
You dream of neon green liquid. Red and blue. Soccer games and a little girl. White lace and soft music. You dream of a man with fangs and claws who vows to love you through sickness and through health.
You still hold his hand the same way: like if you don't hold on tight enough, he'll be gone.
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haddonfieldwhore · 5 months
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fragile - matthew tkachuk
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matthew tkachuk x gn! reader
summary: after back to back losses, all matty needs is some words of reassurance from his favourite person
word count : 0.8k
warnings: maybe some angst but mostly fluff, sappy, hinted at nsfw themes for 2 seconds, not edited
you were almost asleep when you heard the door, as matthew finally got back to the hotel. you hadn’t been at the game, staying back with a headache this time, but you had watched it on tv; it wasn’t good. you listened as he kicked off his shoes with a sigh, and heard the soft thud of his clothes and bag landing on the floor. the bed dipped next to you and his arms wrapped around you, pulling your back against his chest, nuzzling his chin into the crook of your neck.
“hey, baby,” you murmured softly.
“hey,” he sighed, his eyes closed.
“i’m sorry,” you sighed; you hated how helpless you always felt watching the team when they were down.
“you watched it,” was all he said. you rolled over in matty’s arms, placing soft kisses up his throat. “is there anything i can do to cheer you up?” you hummed, gently creating a love bite under his jaw. sometimes the best way to improve his mood after a tough game was quite simply to let him take his… frustrations out on you, and you were never going to complain about the more dominant side of him it brought out; but tonight was different.
“i just want to hold you,” he replied, and you were a little surprised, but your heart fluttered just the same. you snuggled into his chest as his arms tightened around you.
“is something else bothering you?” you asked.
“besides the back to back 4-0 losses, you mean?” he laughed bitterly.
“matt-“
“what if it’s me?” he asked, and to say you were at a loss for words was an understatement. matthew tkachuk was someone with a great deal of confidence, often mistaken for arrogance by some; either way, self doubt wasn’t the usual thing for him. you pulled back slightly so you could look at him, his blue eyes sad and missing their usual playful gleam.
“matthew that’s ridiculous. where is this coming from?”
“have you seen my stats? i’m supposed to be this star player, and i can’t even score a goal.” you reached up to gently hold his face, the light stubble on his chin tickling the palm of your hand.
“so you’re off to a slower start than expected- it happens. and besides, you guys are a team; one person doesn’t win or lose, you guys do it together,” you said, admittedly not used to having to comfort him like this. “you guys have been doing great; two games isn’t the end of the season.”
“what if i’m holding the team back?”
“you’re not-“
“what if i am?” he insisted, his eyes that had until now avoided your gaze finally locked with yours. his eyes searched yours with a pleading hopefulness for any kind of sign that he was wrong; that it wasn’t all his fault.
“matty you broke your sternum six months ago; you’re being extremely hard on yourself. you are not some kind of dead weight, and i don’t ever want to hear you say anything like that again,” you pleaded. “it’s amazing that you’re back to playing as well as you are so fast after what happened. i know you’re used to being one of the best - because you really are - but i think you just have to settle for being ‘pretty good’ until you’re back to the place you were at in the playoffs.”
“what if i never get back to that level again?”
“you will. if anything you’ll be better because you want it more.” you promised, and he was silent for a second, as if thinking over everything you’d said.
“what did i do to deserve you?” he asked, shaking his head slightly as the first hint of a smile appeared on his lips.
“i ask myself that about you every day,” you smiled, pressing your lips to his. you hummed softly as his hands slid up your back to deepen the kiss, and you tangled your fingers gently in his soft curls, his hair still slightly damp from the post game shower.
“i love you,” he mumbled against your lips, and you smiled into the kiss.
“i love you too.”
you laid your head back down on matthew’s chest, and felt him press a kiss to the top of your head as you tangled your legs with his under the blankets. the familiar scent of his expensive cologne lingered on his skin as you kissed his collarbone in response, and whispered a quiet ‘goodnight’, already feeling yourself drifting off to sleep.
“goodnight angel,” matthew mumbled, feeling slightly better as he replayed everything you had said in his mind. he knew deep down that you were right; that he was expecting the world of himself, when at the end of the day, he was just a person. but to you, he was home, even in a city miles away from it.
disclaimer: all screenshots, events, and/or interactions depicted in this are a work of fiction. i have no association with any parties mentioned
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obxone · 6 months
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Vigilante Shit (Chapter Eleven)
Edited-ish. ~3k words
Tag list: @fishingirl12 @gillybear17 @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @gills-lounge @emmafitzzz @redfieldfx @baby19sthings
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A night of pretty dresses, full of dancing in the arms of your boyfriend, and enjoying time with your friends. That is how your night started. So much laughter, several drinks snuck behind the adults' backs, and sweet kisses made your head spin. Every fiber you radiated happiness for those moments of bliss. And then destruction had found its way into your evening and ruined your night.
“Where is she?!” JJ’s voice breaks you out of your thoughts, and you leave the nest of comfort amongst the lounge chairs you have with Reese, Natalie, and Ben.
“JJ!” You push through the serving trolleys, half broken down tables, and groups of lingering Island Club staff to see your brother and his friends rushing through the Island Club in a panic to find. “It wasn’t me,” you whisper as they turn to converge on you. The press of five warm bodies against you has fresh tears gathering in your eyes. You hug them back. A momentary rush of relief floods through you. “I’m okay. It wasn’t me.”
“What the hell happened?” Kiara asks, squeezing JJ’s arm as he clings to you even though everyone else has released you. “We saw the wreck.”
You tighten your arms around JJ, realizing he has thought the worst. JJ thought he had lost you. Once he backs off, you see the tears in his eyes, and your hands tighten around the skirt of your dress. The delicate lace is torn and bloody in places all over the skirt and bodice. The right strap is torn from the front of the dress and hangs down your back now. A ruined beautiful dress that you had borrowed and would now need to pay for. Tears blur your vision as you cry harder all over again despite the throb of your headache.
“He wouldn’t let me in the car and… and I… oh JJ!” You sink into his arms and let your little brother hold you up as you sob. “I told him not to. I told him not to get caught up in this bullshit.” You shake your head, clinging to the shreds of your senses. “He didn’t listen. And he got in a fight, and then Topper pushed him into racing a-and...”
“Where is Topper now?”
You shake your head at Sarah’s question before glancing at Ben, who is nursing his bloody knuckles, as he mumbles something under his breath that no one quite catches.
“Probably getting drunk or high with your brother,” Reese mutters, coming closer to your group. “I’m going to check in and see if there is any news, okay?” He looks at you before glancing at Natalie, who is sitting curled up in a lounge chair with his jacket on her shoulders. “Nat’s worried about you. We all are.”
You shake your head, guilt filling you. “We should worry about Mav, not me.”
“Go sit with her,” Kiara encourages, squeezing your arm. “Let’s all go sit together.”
No one says it, but you are pale and trembling. They are worried you will pass out at any given second if you stay on your feet much longer.
She leads the way as you all make your way back to the seating section. You sit beside Natalie, dropping your hand into hers and squeezing. You lean into her side and exhale a harsh breath.
“My parents are checking in,” Kiara mutters before going to the edge of the room.
The staff continues to clean up the tables around you. Feeling eyes on you, you look up and spy JJ watching you. Worry is written plainly across his face while he studies you. You attempt a sad smile, but fresh tears spring up again, so you tear your gaze away.
“What happened to your hand?” John B asks Ben while pulling ice out of a nearby ice bucket that had probably housed champagne a few hours ago. You all watch him put it in a linen napkin before offering it to Ben.
“Barry.”
“Barry?” JJ whisps around to look at you in alarm.
You exhale, slumping back into the chair. “He showed up. How do you think my dress is ruined?”
“What the fuck?”
You frown at your brother before looking at your hands. “Yep.”
“Topper and Barry in one night?” Pope whispers, and you frown, reaching up to wipe a tear.
"It's fine. Ben and Mav stopped him."
You shudder as you think about Barry's body against yours. His hands were greedy and harsh as he tore at your skirt. Squeezing your eyes shut, you try not to relive the moment again.
The sound of hurried footsteps has you all turning, and you hope Reese has a useful update on Mav. His parents were not forthcoming with you, blaming you for tonight's accident. And you know you are not welcome at the hospital. Not after the way his parents looked at you at the scene of the crash. You shudder again. This time the image of Mav’s mangled car flashing through your mind. The screams, your screams, echo in your mind as Natalie held you while Reese and Ben pulled him from the burning car. The faint image of Topper fleeing in the black smoke surfaces.
“Rafe! What are you doing here?” Sarah is off the lounge chair and crossing the room to her brother as you refocus on reality.
Your gaze finds him, and he seems to visibly relax until his focus shifts to your torn gown and shaking hands. Sarah pushes at his chest, trying to remove him from the main room, but he fights back and slips past her with ease.
“No!” JJ is the next line of defense with Pope right behind him.
“Guys,” you whisper as Natalie’s hand tightens on yours, and Ben leans over to pull her attention to him. She is fragile, much more fragile than you, and tonight has already taken such a toll on her. “Guys.” You try again, but no one is paying attention to you as the pogues try to force Rafe to leave. “JJ!”
He turns to you with wide eyes.
“Stop it, please.” You push yourself out of the chair and between the pogues and Rafe. “He’s not going to hurt me. Not right now.”
“If you do,” JJ begins to threaten him, but you level him with a look, and he fades out.
After they back off, you turn to Rafe. “Top isn’t here. None of your friends are.”
“I didn’t come for him,” he states, shrugging out of his suit jacket and arranging it around your shoulders. You frown, looking down at the powder blue jacket. “What happened, Angel? Talk to me.”
“Barry and Topper both showed their true colors.” You murmur, coldness spreading through you. “It’s really bad, Rafe. Mav didn’t look good.”
Rafe frowns, his fingers ghosting across your cheek and down to your neck to examine the bruising handprint that is already forming there. “Barry?”
You nod once before closing your eyes.
“Did he cause Mav’s accident?”
“That was all Topper.”
"Were you in the car? Do you need to see a doctor?"
"No," you murmur, trying hard not to lean into him and let him comfort you like he always has. "No, Mav would not let me in the car. I tried."
Rafe frowns, brushing his thumb across your chin. “Damn it, Angel.”
“I know,” you mumble. It had been a stupid thing to try and do. Both of you glance at the others, aware it is not just you two alone. “Reese went to get us an update.”
Rafe’s lips press into a thin line, but he is looking at his sister instead of you. Sarah frowns at him before shaking her head and looking away. She never could understand how you got through to him.
“Why did you come here?” You whisper, pulling his attention back to you. "If not for Topper."
“For you.”
“Rafe…”
“Just let me be here for you, Angel. Barry could come back.”
“He would be stupid to try it.”
“He’s done plenty of stupid things.”
You wince, agreeing with Rafe before glancing as the chairs scrap across the floor.
“You have some nerve!” Kiara and Natalie both say, springing out of their chairs. Rafe turns, allowing you to get a clear view of Topper as he walks down the hallway. A fuming Reese is right behind him. Topper looks like the picture of health, untouched and still in his Midsummer's suit.
“I come in peace. I only want to talk.”
Rafe’s hand grips your hip as he positions himself better between Topper and you. You do not miss it and squeeze his forearm in appreciation while JJ and John B push themselves to be in front of you and by association Rafe. JJ glances at Rafe’s hand on you but says nothing since Topper is the current threat.
“What could you possibly have to say?” You glare at the blond kook. “You’ve done enough!”
No longer do you tremble, instead, your back straightens, and your shoulders push back as you try to keep from tearing Topper limb from limb. Hostile feelings brewing inside of you.
Topper lifts his hands before glancing as Reese shoulders past him. He stumbles from the harsh impact of Reese's shoulder against his but quickly rights himself while Reese takes his place beside Natalie and Ben.
“I want to talk about what happened. Make it right.” Topper offers, his voice softening as he turns his attention back to you. “I need to speak to you, y/n. Alone. Try and explain.”
“The fuck you are!” JJ yells, fury erupting from him.
“Jay…” You murmur and try to reach for your brother, but Rafe bars you with a shake of his head.
“No one wants you here,” Sarah states, arms crossing over her chest, scowling at her ex-boyfriend. She stands firm beside you. “You need to go.”
“I need to talk to y/n.”
“You will never speak to her,” JJ spits, and John B. grabs his shoulder as JJ attempts to lunge after Topper.
“Mav is in the hospital because of you.” Natalie's shaking voice breaks the haze of rage and hateful glares.
“I didn’t make him race.”
“No, but you baited him,” you cut in. “Anything you have to say to me, you can say to everyone else.”
“I can’t,” Topper says, trying his best to look innocent. “Please, y/n, I need to talk to you.”
You sigh, and he grins while everyone else glares at him. “Five minutes. You get five minutes.”
Rafe’s hand tightens, but you disregard him and gently step away from his touch.
“If I’m not back in five minutes, come find me,” you whisper, leaning into him to peck his cheek. You start to remove his jacket, but he stops you, tugging it back around you firmly.
“Keep it.”
You miss the look Topper throws at your brother and friends as you push out the door and down onto the lawn. You can hear him behind you, so you do not hesitate as you storm down the boardwalk and out onto the beach.
“Why do you need to speak to me alone?” You move away from him before turning to stare at him. You trust Topper as far as you can throw him. “You have one hell of a nerve to show up here and ask to talk to me.”
Topper smirks at you. The innocent boy façade drops in a flash as he relishes in your stormy attitude. “It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t make him race me.”
“Are you an idiot, Topper?” You glare at him. “It is your fault. You are such an asshole!”
“Ladies shouldn’t curse, you know.” He tries to toy with you.
“Get fucked!”
Topper blinks in surprise, before shaking his head with a laugh. “Fucking pogues.”
“Just say you hate us,” You glare at him. “Just say you hate anyone who isn’t exactly like you.”
He smirks, looking at his loafers. “You got me.”
“Yeah?” You feel the rage building inside of you over his classist bullshit. “Or is it because you really just envy us?”
He scoffs, cocking an eyebrow at you.
You smirk, stuffing your hands into Rafe’s jacket pockets. “Because we have control over our lives. We don’t have mommy and daddy breathing down our necks.”
Topper closes the distance between you, and you stumble back, nearly toppling back into a dune. “You think your so fucking smart, don’t you y/n?” His breath is hot and smells like alcohol as he presses down on you. “But you don’t have control, do you?” He continues to crowd you. His hand moves to swipe your hair back behind your ear. You shudder at the feel of his touch on you. “Not with our little secret, huh? I have the control because I have the video.”
Your blood turns to ice instantly because you know exactly what he is referencing.
His sick laughter over enjoying your hesitation at his threat has the words unsticking from your throat as the icy wrath explodes inside you. “You have it?!”
“I’ve always had it, Angel.”
A mixture of anger and confusion washes through you. “Why you? Why would Rafe give it to you?”
Topper grins, flashing those perfect white teeth.
Realization dawns, and your mouth drops open before you whisper your realization. “It was always you.”
Topper’s grin fades as he sees the puzzle pieces fall into place for you. But you do not give him a chance as you shove his chest harshly. He stumbles back a few steps from your surprising push of energy. You launch after him. Rafe’s suit jacket crumples against the sand as it falls off your shoulders.
“It was you!” You glare at him and begin to stalk forward. He backs up, hands raising in innocence. “You bastard!” You spit at him. “You lying bastard!”
“Hey now,” Topper smirks, enjoying you get so worked up. “I never said it wasn’t.”
“Yes, you fucking did!” You scream and try to hit him, but he dodges your strike. “Rafe never videotaped us! You did, you are a fucking pervert!” You shove at his chest again, and he falls back against the boardwalk leading back to the Island Club. His eyes widen in surprise and fear. “You sick and dirty bastard!” You push your hands against your stomach to stop the violent roll of sickness washing over you. “So help you when I tell him,” You whisper with a shake of your head as you take a weak step back, nearly stumbling as everything you went through because of Topper weighs down you. “No one on Kildare will be able to save you. Not even your Mommy.”
You try to push past him to find Rafe so that you can tell him everything. It makes so much sense now why Rafe never thought you were over, and you did. Because Topper had lied, and he had killed your relationship without ever involving Rafe in its death.
Topper is quicker when he grabs your calf and causes you to stumble and crash down against the boardwalk. Your body hits the weathered boards harshly, and the sand bites into your skin. You cough, the air rushing back into your lungs.
“You aren’t good enough for him!” He yells, dragging you back down to him even as you try to crawl away. You struggle, shoving at him as he climbs over you, but his fingers find their way around your throat. He tightens his grip. “You never will be! And he can’t see that, but I can!”
“Topper,” you gasp, pushing at his chest but failing to get him off. “Top!”
“He was doing fine until you came back! You just had to come back!” Topper squeezes harder, and your lungs and chest scream in pain. "I thought Mav would be enough to drive Rafe away, but he isn't. We both know Rafe gets what he wants. And he wants you, even now."
The edges around your vision darkening. Your nails bite at Topper's forearm, breaking skin as you claw at him, but he only presses harder against your throat. The back of your legs and heels sting as you kick against the boardwalk.
“You don’t deserve to be a part of our world!” He glares down at you, and you can see years of hatred in his eyes.
You try to drive your knee up between his legs but fail as you gasp and claw at his forearm. “Topper!”
Then his weight is gone, and you gasp, rolling to your side. Your forehead presses to the boardwalk as you try to fill your lungs with air and hold back the bile rising in your throat. Moments later, a hand grips your shoulder, and you yelp, twisting away.
“It’s me. Hey! It’s me!” Rafe’s face is a mask of worry and anger. His hand trembles as he cups your face. His forehead falls against yours. “What the fuck is going on?”
“I don’t know,” you sob and grip his shoulders. Your breath hitches in your throat as he pulls you closer to him. Your body pressed against his chest. His lips ghost across your temple. Twice tonight, you have been manhandled and nearly killed because of jealousy and men wanting to have their way no matter who they hurt. You shiver, pushing yourself against Rafe's warmth while Topper lies motionless on the ground a few inches away.
“What the hell?!” Sarah yells when the pogues and kooks all rush down the boardwalk. Eyes wide in shock and confusion painting their faces. 
“I’m so sorry,” you whisper, burying your face in Rafe’s chest. “All this time… It was Topper.”
(Chapter Twelve)
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eddiebillysteve · 1 year
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a/n: idk it's sad boy hours and i just wrote a little blip based on this post, not really edited so anyway enjoy??? lmao (trigger warnings for abandonment/anxiety/mentions of the mindflayer and the ptsd billy has from it)
“You’re late, Harrington.”
Steve knew Billy didn’t like being late for anything himself, but he wasn’t expecting his anxiety around tardiness to be passed along to him, too. It wasn’t that he was one of those people that just showed up late to everything in general, it was just unpreventable sometimes. 
He didn’t think being late by a couple of minutes would push Billy back to the last name step. 
“Baby, it’s—“ Steve looked at his watch before looking back out the window at his scowling boy. “3:04. That’s hardly late.” 
“I didn’t tell you 3:04, did I? I told you 3.” Billy’s voice was a snap hard enough to make Steve wince. Their relationship hadn’t exactly been smooth sailing, but he thought he had been doing a good job teaching Billy about communicating why he was upset and angry when his temper arose. 
“I know, Bills. Get in the car and I’ll explain,” Steve sighed softly, gesturing with his hand out the window for him to get in the passenger seat. 
Even if it was only four minutes, Steve still felt guilty. He was the one who insisted on dropping and picking Billy up from the pool every day instead of spending the money to get his camaro fixed. It was under the guise of Steve wanting to be helpful and doting, and saving money, but they both knew how badly Billy’s hands shook when he reached for Steve’s car door, how his fingers clutched the seat if they weren’t wrapped around a cigarette, how he couldn’t be in a car in the dark and how quiet roads made him cry. 
The mindflayer had done its damage on Billy in more than one way. His physical scars may have healed, but the mental ones were more present than ever. The anxiety that racked him, even with the amount of medications he took for it, was intense. He suffered from nightmares, hated the dark, could barely handle the cold without panicking. 
The blue camaro that had once been his safety, his baby that was a reminder of his life in California, had been turned into a constant reminder of the monster that had seeped into his body and nearly killed him along with so many others. 
But the anxiety over being late didn’t stem from being possessed by the mindflayer. Steve didn’t know where it came from. 
“Billy.” Steve reached for his hand when Billy was finally in the car, not starting up the engine yet. “Sweetheart, look at me, please? I’m sorry.”
But Billy still didn’t look at him, his watery eyes trained on the ‘Pool Rules’ sign he could see out the window. His jaw was clenched so hard to keep a sob from slipping out that he started to get a headache. 
“I’m sorry, okay? I gave Dustin a ride home and his Mom was feeling chatty. Wanted to introduce me to their new cat, as if I didn’t already meet the little thing months ago—“
“Fuck you, Steve.” The words took a few moments to sink in, and when he didn’t immediately reply Billy snapped his head over to look at him. “Jesus, Harrington, are you fuckin’ stupid? Just fuckin’ drive! Jesus Christ!” 
The angry words didn’t match the frightened eyes and tears dripping down his cheeks, and Steve took a deep breath. 
“Okay, so you’re angry—“
“I’m not in the mood for your bullshit communication speech. If you even say that goddamn word, I’ll knock your teeth down your throat, I swear to God.”
The swearing, the threats, may as well have gone in one ear and out the other. Billy always said a lot of words, especially when he was angry, and nearly all of them were ones he didn’t mean. Steve was used to wading through them to get to the real issue by now. 
“You’re angry because I was late,” Steve spoke carefully, but not in a condescending way. “You need to tell me why you’re upset that I was late so I know how to help you, Bills. Sometimes being late is inevi—“
“Because one day you won’t come, okay? One day I’ll be waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and you won’t fuckin’ show.” 
The words were enough to trigger the sobs that had clearly been building in the four minutes he’d been waiting, and Steve’s heart nearly shattered. “Baby—“
“Save it, Harrington,” he croaked out, clearly trying to keep up his angry persona despite the sobs. “Let’s just get it over with. Just fuckin’ leave already.”
“Listen to me.” Steve reached for Billy’s face, holding his cheeks in his hands to force Billy to meet his eyes. “I’m not leaving you. Ever. I want you, Billy, only you, as long as you’ll have me. What do I have to do to convince you I’m here to stay? Buy you a ring? Tattoo your name on me somewhere? Because I’ll do it. I’ll do anything I have to do to keep you from feeling like this again.” 
Billy’s sobs turned to heavy sniffles in Steve’s arms, feeling calloused thumbs wiping tears from his cheeks. “You can just not be late, but I do like that tattoo idea. Get my name as a tramp stamp—“ 
“Shut up.” Steve pulled him in for a kiss, both to cut off the idea and relay as much love and emotion as he possibly could. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. I promise you. One day I’m even gonna marry you, you’ll see.” 
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Vanessa Hudgens :
So I wanted to make this post because looking on all the platforms I use to follow Austin Butler himself and/or other fan pages, I can see a lot of you are bothered by Vanessa saying that Austin helped her find her now husband.
I like to start off that I like Vanessa , anyone who follows me on IG will know that. I think him and Vanessa made a lovely couple. He genuinely seemed very happy with her. You can tell they really were down bad for one another. I say this because I don’t want to come across as some fake hypocrite. Posting pictures of him when he was with Vanessa and then turning around to make this post.
However , over the last few years that they have since broken up, she obviously has been throwing shade. Commenting on post making fun of his voice, saying things in interviews, and some of the memes she post to her stories on IG.
I don’t like when she does that. I think it’s annoying and quite rude. I find crazy to that she does this to this very day , even after being married to her supposed “soul mate”.
Vanessa to me comes across as a hurt woman. I don’t condone her throwing shade the way she does , however I feel if she did find her special someone , why keep bringing up your ex? A lot of fans seems to think she is trying to keep her name in headlines. And while I do agree to some extent , I think it goes deeper than someone looking for attention.
Vanessa was with Austin for a decade. They went through a lot together. Her dad passing, his Mom passing. She was in his sister’s wedding, which says A LOT. Not only was she close to Austin , she clearly was tight with his family as well. We seen how happy she was when he got the part of Elvis. I remember her seeing when she was speaking with Ryan Seacrest and how stoked she was telling him the story about how she told him he should play Elvis.Austin has told that story more than once too. Vanessa even had promo photos on her IG for when he finally got the role that she still has up on her profile all these years later.
I honestly feel bad for her in a way. Yeah as Austin’s fan I don’t like her shading him, but I don’t necessarily think she is a bad person based off that alone . To have a relationship as long as they had just end. Not sure exactly what happened with the break up, but from the outside looking in it seems to have ended abruptly.
That has to hurt…like. Especially seeing another girl be attached to his arm during his Elvis press . Someone who in my opinion don’t deserve to be reaping anything beneficial from that. I’m sure she thought that those were moments that they would share. And not because it would get her some level of clout but because that was her man. Vanessa to me seemed like one of those “my man , my man, my man” kind of women when she was with Austin. She saw a future with him I believe . Especially after hearing how on a podcast she stated how when she first met Cole she asked if marriage and kids were important to him. And i remember watching that and the look on her face seemed sad. Like she was reminiscing on something. Like maybe perhaps that’s what she wanted with someone else but didn’t get . To me I think she saw herself marrying Austin one day and having his children, the whole white picket fence shit. Hollywoood edition lol!
The fact that she keeps bringing him up is very telling . You a whole married woman and still throwing shade at your ex. Us a women , I feel like when we really find our someone after kissing a few frogs we could careless about wtf our ex got going on. Not calling Austin a frog , just speaking in general.
As fans I feel like we gotta be like 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️. I know it’s annoying , but sis is still clearly stuck on him. Which to me says alot about how he was a boyfriend. I’m sure they had their ups and downs but it probably was a good relationship overall. Because who gonna be out in these streets missing someone who was a complete headache and toxic as hell? Especially if they feel like they finally found the person who they feel like was heaven sent….
Austin has been nothing but kind during this too. He can easily throw shade back , but he stays humble and minds his business. Which Vanessa needs to do too smh. Vanessa needs to go heal whatever broke her when her and Austin ended. She has a husband now , marriage is forever.
I’ll end this with I hope as a woman myself she finds peace within herself . I obviously am not for her ass saying the stuff she did , but I don’t dislike her. We have all at one point of time thrown shade an ex. Said some snarky shit. It happens . It’s one thing for some troll to throw shade to Austin, but an ex he was with for years on end….Like I said in the beginning, her acting that way goes deeper than someone looking for attention. Vanessa might have not done anything super duper huge since HSM but she’s still pretty well known. She doesn’t need to throw shade to stay relevant .
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shadfanfic · 2 years
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Daddy! Sebastian stan x little,shy! Reader (named “Shad”)
Request: Anonymous asked:
Hi!!! So I never requested before, but I saw you were taking requests! I was wondering if you can do a Sebastian Stan x reader, dd/lg? Also, have the reader being hurt by someone/something else and fluff at end? ☺️
hey thank you so much for ur request,Don’t forget to give me ur opinion 🤍 
warnings: reader got bullied, ddlg theme story, didn’t edit it so sorry if there’s a mistake 🤍
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——————
“ please?”
You begged your daddy for the 10th time this minute and he just shock his head no 
“Doll, you know you can’t skip school” Sebastian said handing you a sandwich 
“i know i know.. it’s just-.. I’m in a little space”You finally confessed the true reason why you wanted to skip school 
“I know but you can handle it, i know my baby well be fine” He giggled and removed your hair from your face so you can start eating 
“tsk-.. no I can’t”You tsked and sigh start eating getting upset 
“hey, miss grumpy face you want chocolate milk with lunch box or strawberry milk”Sebastian asked leaning so close to your face hiding his smile
“I’m not miss grumpy face”You said and he giggle 
“No you are, you look like that!” He said and start mocking your grumpy face 
Both of you start giggling, you giggled at how funny he looked and he giggled with you cause you were too adorable in his eyes
“You can take your tiny stuffie” He said and smiled when your eyes lit up with happiness 
“Look i well hang it with your lunch box bag okay?” He told you and you immediately nod
——————
“Why you talking so quietly? The teacher asked you so answer !” That teacher pet you found in every single class decided to talk making everyone giggle
“Hey! hey! everyone be quiet!” The teacher yelled and looked at you
“Shad, you okay?”The teacher asked and you just nod 
“Ugh, I swear to god she’s acting like baby sometimes, all what she want is her stuffies” The girl whisper to her friends making them giggle
“ may i go to the bathroom please? ”You started talking really quietly and the teacher nod and smiled gently at you
The moment you stand up everyone gasped and start giggling, you looked at them confused and you looked back too your chair finding a small blood stain in your chair, you glup and start running away trying to find the perfect place too finally cry 
You entered the bathroom to do what you had to do,  now you understood why you were in a little space.. you sat down and start looking for Sebastian name 
“hello?” Sebastian answered the phone and as soon as you heard his voice you couldn’t control your own tears, you wanted to answer so bad but nothing came out beside 
“D-..daddy”You sobbed and start rubbing your red eyes 
“Sweetie!? Hey hey what’s wrong”Sebastian asked and it was clear in his voice that he was walking so fast 
“I-..i w-wanna g-go home”You rubbed your eyes harder trying so hard to control your sobs
— 
 15 minutes later you were standing in front of the school while the principal is behind you waiting with you not wanting to leave you alone since your so upset, you heard your daddy’s car and immediately look up 
“Hey!”Sebastian said with a sad smile and got out of the car and hug you so tightly 
“so mr. Stan ur-..”The principal wanted to talk but Sebastian shook his no and walk to the door while warping his arms around you
“I don’t have time sorry, email me tho!”He faked a smile and help you get in the car 
-
After a quiet few minutes the only thing was heard is you sobbing and Sebastian hushing you gently 
“Easy doll, you gonna have a headache And you hate them no?”Sebastian talked quietly 
“i told you -.. *sob* i-.. didn’t w-wanna go” You talked and start crying more and much louder 
Sebastian sigh and stopped the car at a public barking lot , he got out of the car and open you door 
“Hey hey shh okay I’m here now and I’m sorry I shouldn’t let u go okay? Now tell me what happened?”
He hugged you Immediately and start talking playing with your hair hopping it might calm you down
“I-..I’m bleeding” You sobbed and hold his shirt tight, you were in a little space now
“You got your period?”He cupped your face and you just nod 
“oh baby you got it so early this month I’m so sorry”He hugged you again 
“I hate s-school daddy.. i don’t wanna go anymore i-.. i just want to stay w-with y-you”you said with really broken voice
“I know, i know no more school baby no more I promise” He cupped your cheeks and wiped your soft cheeks “no more crying baby please”He smiled gently and kisses your forehead then your both cheeks then your nose making you relax, after that he hugged you again 
-
Both of you stayed in that position until you stopped crying, you felt Sebastian hand going down from your back to your ribs and side which made you squirm and smile a bit 
“Don’t-“You tried to squirm away and he let you 
“okay okay i just wanted to see ur adorable smile”He smiled and stepped back a bit rubbing your shoulder looking at your beautiful smile
“How about we go home and watch your favourite movie and eat your favourite snacks?”He said and lean into the car door looking at you and you nod 
“o-okay”You said and blushes, he was maybe too hot today and your shy about it 
“o-okay let’s go then”He giggle and mocked you, he kissed your lip super fast and close your door 
You maybe had a rough morning but you indeed forgot about it since your daddy is here 
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skitter-kitter · 2 years
Note
Hi!!! 2, 4, 10, 13, 15 (His Living Legacy), 20, 30, and 44 for the ask game if you wanna??
Hi!!!! Hell yeah I’ll do it I love this ask game
Fic writer ask game
How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?
I’m usually 80% writer, 20% reader because writing takes so much attention and time so I don’t really have time to read too many fics. I usually read outside of whatever fandom I’m in though. I read a LOT of BNHA fics
Link your three favorite fics right now.
Okay I just convinced my best friend to read this fic and now I’m gonna try my best to do the same to you. It’s called Runner and it’s a canon divergence AU of The Lego Movie where instead of Good Cop getting erased by Lord Business it was Bad Cop. THEN, after Good Cop has lived years without Bad Cop, he’s sent back a year before Taco Tuesday and has to try and fix EVERYTHING. The fic is all about trust and sacrifices and mistakes and I love it SO much. (There is one chapter where it’s heavily about self-sacrifice/suicide he doesn’t actually die but it’s very much about it)
OUGH I was scrolling through my bookmarks and I just remembered my favorite Teen Titans fic of all time: Deathstroke’s Apprentices. It’s a canon divergence au of the show where instead of being saved, Robin stays as Deathstroke’s apprentice. The fic starts like MONTHS into this situation and we watch as Robin changes slowly to cope with it all. Terra is also there and her being there is what makes it very hard for Robin to escape because he refuses to leave her alone. GOD. I love this fic so so much
I’m also gonna rec Welcome To The New Age because every single time I think about the line I go insane:
“In this moment I think I almost wish I were human again,” he mused, “So that I could experience a friendship with you.”
What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?
I really like reading BNHA fics because there’s SO MANY of them and because I haven’t watched the show I have no scale of what’s in character or not and just enjoy the fics. However, there are a few characters/pairings I would KILL to have more people posting in
Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic?
Okay it really depends. If it’s a long fic I’ll leave MANY notes. It’s usually scenes or moments that are important to me that I don’t want to forget. But if it’s a shorter fic…
[my notes for His Living Legacy]
Robotnik dies at the end of sonic 2. Stone holds a funeral for him with the badniks. “Those who shine the brightest often burn the fastest”. He considers giving the same speech he did a few months earlier. He makes a coffee exactly how Robotnik likes it and leaves it on his grave. Engraved it says, Ivo Robotnik. He was loved. He was the brightest of us all. He will be remembered.
Tell the author your favorite fic of theirs. What’s your (the author’s) favorite fic you’ve written?
I have… a hundred and fifty one posted fics… why would you do this to me
I’m glad you like His Living Legacy! I was annoyed by how few actually sad fics there were about the open ending and I love emotionally destroying my blorbos so I did lmao
But. God. What’s my favorite fic I’ve ever written…
I’ve only ever reread and edited one of my fics and that was the most honorable thing. I love that fic and especially the title since it’s a cut off quote: the most honorable thing is to keep living. It’s a fic where Maul actually gets to be happy for once in his life and I love it
What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?
I love daydreaming about fics. I love it so much.
Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.
Haha alright
Lear crossed his arms, fuming with a soul-deep anger even Red couldn’t evoke in him. This was a special sort of anger reserved only for his father.
It was made up of quiet, cutting words. Knives smaller than the eye could see. Guilt and remorse warped into weapons.
Every time he and his father met, they fought.
This was the way of the world.
Rant about something writing related.
I hate how complicated writing numbers is. Like there’s no clear indicator for when you should switch from spelling it out to just having the numbers and like. It’s so painful for me. Usually if I encounter this issue in a fic it leads to me abandoning it halfway through and it’s so annoying
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sweetswesf · 1 year
Text
Check In
What I Did Today
Prayed
Cleaned my produce & packed up my fridge I just cleaned
Had a call with a recruiter from one of the companies I'd like to work for
Chatted with an old friend
Cried tears (happy & sad ones) watching muva
youtube
What I Learned Today
A serving of udon has the same amount of carbs
Not today, but recently, peaches are TOTALLY a summer fruit...learning to appreciate eating produce more seasonally as opposed to being mad I can't get certain foods year round
I need to buy some chili oil
the company I want to work for's interview process
Tumblr FINALLY added an auto save function because their site keeps crashing on long post edits
I had been real irresponsible with my produce: so much dirt that I thought a quick rinse would fix
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Feeling
I did have the runs today, but not a severe headache sooo...need to figure out what's up...
Honestly, angry. Sad. I have such a ball of emotions. Can’t trust anyone. Feel out of control. Burnt out but feel such an urge to perform and do what I’ve never felt before; had a nice dream of an old friend that is enemy, but they were not AT ALL in my dream; today an old friend, but different from the one in my dream, who broke my heart hit me; there was excitement, then relief when I thought I would be able to relate to someone in a real vulnerable way who has known me before moving here to San Francisco who isn’t my pastor mentor, but then crashed when I realized it wasn’t that at all and he was just hitting me to stroke his ego because he knew he could manipulate me in that way…and I fell for it…and I stress ate, and didn’t start today like I wanted to, and then I hopped on LinkedIn and read a post from this ex-Amazon VP that basically said, if you were let go, you are expendable, and he was right, and then I just felt so much embarrassment, and questioning what I want to do with my life or where I want to be, because I have not been happy since like June 2010…and I’m so frustrated at my family for abandoning me and I really just wanted to run away, but to where? And hating all the entitled ass white neighbors I have and not knowing where I want to be in the world, not knowing if I will find peace here; and I’m tired of having random headaches; and I’m tired of people just inserting their way into my life and just not even listening to what I am saying, just trying to “fix” me in their way; I am grateful for what I’m going through and know that it is a rough time and things will get better, but I’m just so tired
Takeaways
I should follow more recipes; I made a bomb ass udon from Pinterest:
Goals After Today
Strengthen my relationship with God
Understand the main concepts I need to from Interview Cake, AlgoExpert, etc. in less 3 months
Drop my body fat percentage
Use social media/YouTube less
Improve my relationship with my family
Be more confident & faithful
Move more during my day
DRINK MORE WATER!
Get back on the ball
Be kinder to myself and stop guilting myself if my energy isn't always on 100%
Go on a date with a guy I actually like who actually likes me too
Find a therapist
Figure out what keeps making me sick...
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drewsbuzzcut · 2 years
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no recollection of yesterday
baseball player!drew starkey x f!reader
warnings: angst, cuss words
a/n: part 2 of the break up !!! there will be another part and i hope you enjoy this. (not edited so there may be some mistakes)
drew wakes up to a pounding headache, but nothing hurts more than realizing that it’s the 5th day in a row that he’s woken up without you by his side or wrapped in his arms.
he can still see your tears flowing from your eyes, and the way the vein in your forehead popped with anger. the strain and the few cracks that laced your voice when you told him how selfish he was being. he tries to forget but the pain portrayed in your body language and expressions haunted him every time he closed his eyes at night.
last night he cried on the phone to his mom, but there wasn’t much she could say because drew was in the wrong. although you should’ve told him about the job offer, he couldn’t fault you for not telling him because look at the reaction he gave. maybe the relationship wasn’t meant to be. no. he couldn’t think like that. he needed you. he loved you. still loves you. he just needs to get himself together and work to make himself the man you deserve. he could only hope that you would take him back.
he hears a knock on his front door; his heart starts beating faster at the possibility that it could be you behind the door. his hopes are quickly smashed when he sees who it is.
“hey. can i come in?” it’s his brother, logan.
“yeah.”
“how’re you feeling?”
“i-i can’t breathe. my heart constantly feels like it’s going to break into millions of pieces, well whatever is left of my heart. i don’t know how to go on. what do i do?” drew’s voice cracks and his tears begin to slip down his cheeks. he remembers how you’d comfort him when he’d cry. you’d run your fingers through his hair, kiss his lips softly, and tell him how he’d be just fine. he’s breaking, and he doesn’t know how to save himself while saving the relationship because he knows that if it’s really the end, he’s not gonna be able to cope.
“what do you want to do?” logan asks.
“i want my girlfriend back. i want to stop hurting,” drew murmurs.
“think about how she feels. not trying to rub it in, but you were a dick to her. she didn’t deserve what happened and it’s going to take a lot from you to fix it, but i know you can fix it. you just have to want to mean it. you have to want to change. i don’t know what got into but you need to figure it out,” logan tells him, shying away from being delicate.
“I KNOW, OKAY? shit, i hate myself for what i did. i don’t even know why i did it. i think i was just scared that if distance were put between us, she’d find someone better and leave me in a heartbeat. i panicked and tried to force her to stay. i’m sure she’s better off without me.”
logan looks at his brother with a sad expression. he knows that drew is hurting but he also knows that you are hurting worse.
“i can’t tell you what to do, or what you think you should do, but whatever you decide, it’s going to be okay.”
“i want to be the man she deserves,” drew stated.
-
over the next few days drew tried to find a way to get into your good graces, but he knew that any grand gesture he could come up with would t be good enough. he knew that you weren’t one for dramatics. you loved the simple things in life. he knew that nothing would work better than his words and actions. however, he knew you wouldn’t see his actions. it was a risk but he was willing to take it.
-
march
it’s officially been 3 weeks since the breakup. drew finally had his letter to you written and picked up a bouquet of your favorite flowers. they were being sent to your apartment.
-
a knock interrupts your cleaning routine, confusion sets in because you didn’t have anyone coming over. you’re even more confused to see a delivery person holding a bouquet of flowers.
“are you y/n y/ln?”
“yes, who are these from?” you ask while accepting the flowers.
“not sure but maybe the letter says who it’s from.”
“ok, thank you. have a nice day,” you say before closing the door. you’re not sure if you’re ready to see who the flowers are from.
smelling the flowers, you smile and you can’t help but let your mind drift to all the times drew had gotten you flowers. a somber smile makes its way to your face.
you open the envelope and pull out the letter. your heart beats faster once you realize who the writing belongs to. drew.
to my dearest y/n,
i know my sincerest apologies, and your well deserved congratulations are long overdue. i am so sorry for being selfish especially when you are the least selfish person i know.
there is honestly no excuse on earth that can be conjured for my actions. i am not sure what possessed me to act that way. you did not deserve my rudeness and i will spend the rest of my life making up for it, whether you allow me to be your other half or not.
when i said that i thought you would follow me, i was wrong. if anyone’s going to be the follower, it’s me. i would follow you into the sun no matter how bad the burn. i would do anything for you. i would single-handedly realign all the stars in the galaxy. all you would have to do is say the word.
i know your patience for me is most likely nonexistent, and i totally understand. if i am no longer the one for you, i will come to terms with it. you deserve happiness and success. i am forever sorry that i tried to deprive you of that.
you will forever hold half of my heart. tear it and throw it away, or lock it up and let it give you life once i have proven i am worthy of you.
i know one day i will be reading one of your books. i know one day i will be watching a movie, and its script will be produced by you. when you are the brightest star, i will catch you with my eye and always know how special you truly are.
congratulations, y/n. take on the world. show them what you’re made of. if you ever need me, do not worry about not being able to find me. fate will always call us home; if you allow it.
forever yours, joseph d.s.
you’re full on sobbing after you finished reading drew’s letter. everything hurts much more than it did when you broke up. it’s like if it’s becoming final.
you honestly didn’t know what to make of his letter. a big part of you, although you wouldn’t admit it, wanted him to ask you to go back to him. he didn’t, though. you missed him always. you saw him in just about everything.
you put the letter away for safekeeping, hoping one day that you can look back at it from a happy state of mind.
your heart yearns to be with drew, but you want to let time heal. maybe it will guide you back to each other, or maybe it won’t. whatever happens, he will always be your person.
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fandomgirlz01 · 2 years
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Forever Yours Pt.6
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Peter Pevensie x Reader
Prompt?: No
Request?: No
Requested prompt?: No
Edited: Yes
Word count: 4800
Master List 
Warnings Here
Summary: The Pevensie children and their lifelong childhood friend get sent away from home to be safe from the blitz. Soon the five find themselves on a life changing journey that takes many different twists and turns. What will happen to the five on their journey? Will they all learn valuable lessons? What will come of their journey together?
Please refrain from stealing our work, thank you and please enjoy!!!
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Y/n’s Pov: 
I wake up with a headache and groan as I hold my head before slowly letting my eyes open. Looking around, I find myself in some tent. I slowly push myself up into a seated position just as the tent flap opens. 
“Oh! Your highness, you're awake! Here, let me look you over. I’m sure you could walk around now,” says what appears to be a faun. 
“Umm… ok,” I say as she smiles lightly at me. 
“My name is Emeth. I’ve been assigned to watch over your healing,” she says as she walks over to a little table and starts to gather things. 
She comes back over to me and sits down on the medical bed next to mine. She moves the bandage that’s on my head to the side and starts to inspect my injury. When she’s done she rewraps it up before standing straight. 
“King Peter will be happy to hear of you waking. He’s been worried for you, your highness,” she says as she walks back over to the table off to the side. 
“Do you know where I could find him?” I ask and she shakes her head. 
“Let me go get him for you,” she says before starting to walk out of the tent. 
“No. I’ll go find him, thank you. That’s very sweet of you, but I’d like to go find him on my own. Do you know where he’d be?” I ask and she shakes her head. 
“Sadly no, ma’am,” she says with a frown and I nod. 
“Please call me y/n. I don’t care very much for pleasantries,” I say and she nods, giving me a wide smile. 
“Have you seen Susan or Lucy? I’m sure they’d know where he is,” I say and she smiles bigger as if getting excited. 
“Oh. I have seen Queen Susan. She and Queen Lucy were going to the little lake earlier,” she says and I smile. 
“Thank you. How do I get there?” I ask her and she quickly nods. 
“Of course, ma'am. You turn to your left as soon as you leave this tent and walk over to the tree line. Then all you do is keep walking and there you’ll find the lake,” she says and I give her a grateful smile. 
“Thank you. You're so very kind,” I say as I head over to the opening of the tent. 
“Of course, milady,” she says as she gives me a bow and I give her a small nod before I walk out of the tent. 
Once out in the fresh air, I smile before turning to the left like she had told me. I then walk to the edge of the trees and indeed I find Susan and Lucy just talking by the water. 
“You look like mum,” I hear Lucy say and I smile softly as I stroll up to them. 
“Mum hasn’t had a dress like this since before the war,” Susan says and I frown as I continue to make my way over to them. 
“We should bring her one back. A whole trunk full!” Lucy says in excitement and I smile again. 
“If we ever get back,” Susan says and I frown as I stop, feeling like I’m interrupting their moment. 
“I’m sorry I’m like that,” Susan says after a moment of silence as she turns to a sad Lucy. 
“We used to have fun together. Didn’t we?” Susan asks her.
“Yes,” Lucy says sadly before pausing. 
“Before you got boring,” Lucy adds with a smirk on her face and I giggle as they start to laugh. 
“I do agree, Lu. She did get rather boring, didn’t she?” I say only to smirk when both Susan and Lucy quickly turn their heads to look at me. 
“Y/n! You're awake!” Lucy says as she gives me a hug when I get over to them. 
“That I am, Lu,” I say as I hug the little girl close. 
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t help you,” she says as she looks up at me and I click my tongue. 
“My sweet, sweet little, Lucy, no. It’s ok. I’m just glad you're ok,” I say as I push some of her hair behind her ear and she smiles up at me before I turn to Susan, who gives me a slight nod of relief.
“Oh really?” Susan asks in response to my comment with a smirk and Lucy giggles.
Susan then quickly bends down before splashing some water at me and Lucy. We both shy away and laugh as we feel the water hit us. Lucy quickly walks into the water and splashes Susan back. 
I giggle with a shrug as I quickly follow Lucy into the water and help her splash at Susan. Susan quickly splashes us both one more time before running out of the small lake as she laughs. Lucy and I follow after her as she runs to the towels and pulls at one. 
As soon as she pulls it off the tree, a wolf growls and Susan yelps as she steps back. I quickly grab Lucy and pull her back behind me as Susan slowly starts to back up to us. 
“Please don’t try to run. We’re tired and we’d prefer to kill you quickly,” the one wolf snarls as we all slowly keep backing up away from him. 
Susan looks up and around to see that we are now surrounded by the wolves. As if we’re all reading each other’s minds, we look up at Susan’s horn hanging from a chair. Susan quickly throws the towel in his face and rushes over to her horn. 
“Y/n, the tree!” she shouts back to me and I quickly rush Lucy over to the tree. 
I help Lucy up into the tree and follow after her, with Susan following not long after me as she blows on her horn. 
Peter’s Pov: 
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I bolt off down the hill and away from Aslan, quickly following the sound of Susan’s horn to the little lake just past the trees. I'm shocked to see y/n up in the tree with Lucy as she tries to help Susan, who’s dangling from the tree.
“Get back!” I yell to the wolves as I run though the water and unsheath my sword. 
“Peter!” Lucy shouts when she sees me running over. 
I quickly make my way up the hill and stop just in front of the wolves. They all growl and turn to me as I hold my sword out in front of me. 
“Come on!” The head wolf growls out as he and his fellow wolves start to circle me. 
“We’ve already been through this before,” the main wolf says again and another snarls, making me move my sword as I watch them all as closely as I can. 
“We both know you haven’t got it in you,” the wolf continues as I keep my eyes on him. 
“Peter! Watch out!” Susan screams, making me look up at her. 
The wolf growls again as we continue to circle one another and I lead them away from the tree. As I hesitate to make a move, I hear a roar and a yelp as Aslan pins down one of the wolves and Oreius comes up swinging his sword beside Aslan. 
“No! Stay your weapons. This is Peter’s battle,” Aslan says and all the others stop where they are before I look back to the wolf before me. 
“You may think you’re a King, but you're going to die…” the wolf says slowly.  
“Like a dog!” he finishes as he jumps up and attacks me. 
“Look out!” I hear Lucy scream just as he pounces on me. We both fall to the ground with the wolf on top of me. 
“Peter!” I hear all three of the girls yell as I lay there, stunned. 
Soon I feel the wolf roll off of me and I sit up, looking at the wolf's body in shock. before looking  back at the girls. I look between all three of them in fear as I make sure they’re ok, and just as I see that they’re all fine they launch themselves into my body in a hug. I hug them all back with relief washing over me as I just hold onto them. 
The wolf under Aslan’s paw starts to thrash around as he makes noises. Aslan lets him up and he quickly runs off while howling. 
“After him,” Aslan says as before looking over at Oreius, “He’ll lead you to Edmund.” 
Oreius nods before racing off with others behind him as we watch them. 
“Peter,” Aslan says and I look away from the girls to Aslan. 
“Clean your sword,” he tells me and I turn to look at the girls before getting up. 
When my sword is cleaned, I bend down on my knee in front of Aslan. He puts a paw on my shoulder as I bow to him and a moment later he takes his paw off of me. 
“Rise. Sir Peter Wolf’s-Bane,” he says and I do as I’m told. 
“Knight of Narnia,” Aslan adds as I stand fully upright now. 
I quickly look over at the girls in excitement to see Susan smile and Lucy has a look of awe on her face. Y/n grins at me before I look back to Aslan. A sense of pride rushes through me as the mighty lion smiles at me. I give him a look of determination before I sheath my sword once again. 
Aslan stands from his seated place and gives us all a warm look. He then gives a slight nod my way before looking over to the girls and walking towards them.
As he passes the girls he gives both Susan and Lucy each a bow of his head. Susan and Lucy each give him little bows back and he smiles softly at them before looking to y/n.
“Y/n, child. May we talk for a moment?” he asks and she gives me a look. 
I nod at her with a light smile, trying to tell her I’m okay. Finally she nods lightly before following him just to the edge of the tree. 
Y/n’s Pov: 
After Aslan asks to talk with me, we walk over to the edge of the trees. We come to see the little village and watch everyone working. 
“We haven’t the time to talk yet, child. I’m sorry for the unfortunate events before you came here. You must have many questions, as did Peter about yours and his entwined prophecy,” Aslan says and I nod. 
“Yes, sir. I do. Mrs. Beaver was kind enough to tell me of some of it, but unfortunately her pages only tell parts of it,” I say and Aslan nods as he continues to watch over the village.
“Yes. I did that on purpose. Kept some of the prophecy to myself. What Mrs. Beaver showed you is only what the people and animals of Narnia know,” he says and I nod along. 
As curious as I am to learn more about my prophecy and mine and Peter’s fate, all I really want right now is to be by his side.
“I can tell you have something else on your mind, young one,” Aslan says as he stands and casts a look back at Peter. 
“How about this… come find me later and I’ll answer anything you’d like to know. When you’re ready, I can give you more insight about everything. But for now, go be with Peter. I can tell how much you need each other right now,” he continues and I smile at him. 
“Deal. Thank you, Aslan,” I say with a bow of my head. 
“You're welcome, y/n,” he says with a bow of his head in return before he walks off. 
Peter’s Pov: 
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We all watch as Aslan talks with y/n and she smiles, nodding along every few minutes. Soon she’s bowing her head to him and he does the same. Then he’s walking away and when he’s gone, she comes back over to us. 
When she’s back standing by Susan, I give the girls a relieved look as Susan gives me a light smile and Lucy runs over to hug me. Both Susan and y/n let out a laugh when I almost fall over at Lucy’s impact. I hug Lucy close for a moment before looking up at y/n with a longing look. 
“Alright, Lu. Let’s give these two a few minutes to themselves,” Susan says as she comes over and pulls Lucy off of me. 
“Oh. Do we have to?” Lucy asks, looking up at Susan and she nods. 
“Oh. All right,” Lucy sighs before her and Susan walk off. 
It gets quiet as the girls leave and I stand there with my hands in my pockets as I refuse to look her way. I hear her light footsteps before her hand comes up to my face. 
“Pete, look at me,” she says as she guides my face to look at her and she strokes my cheek softly.
“What’s wrong? Talk to me,” she says and I nestle my face into her hand. 
“Nothing’s wrong. It’s just… you were hurt and there was nothing I could do…” I say in a choked tone as I hold back my emotions. 
“Pete. I’m fine, see? Just a small bump on the head,” she says and I nod, but the tears continue to well up. 
“Oh, Peter…” she says gently as she caresses my face before pulling me into a hug. 
We stand there hugging for a few minutes before she pulls away and lets out a sigh. She grabs my hand and smiles at me. 
“Come on. Let's go do something. I’m tired,” she says and I chuckle. 
“If you're tired, shouldn't you rest?” I ask her and she shrugs. 
“I don’t wanna leave you right now,” she says and I smile, shaking my head. 
“Lets go get you rested up,” I say and she smiles. 
“Do I have to walk?” she asks and I only chuckle again. 
It all feels a little different right now… not a bad difference, not a bad one at all. Kinda like an unspoken contentment between us. I mean, we’ve always been content around each other… but this just feels different in some way. 
“Oh. All right. Come here,” I say and she smiles sheepishly as I pick her up. 
I quickly walk us both to my tent and she looks at me. She giggles before shaking her head. 
Our relationship is taking a turn and it feels good to be somewhat open with the fact that we’re soulmates. Before, there was always an open tension between us, one I suppose everyone else could see, but now it’s almost like it’s all faded and we’ve always been like this… just us together. 
“Pete, that's your tent. Shouldn’t you be taking me back to the girls tent?” she asks and I quickly shake my head. 
“One, you know you’ll end up here at some point, and two, I’m keeping you close by my side for a while. You have no clue how hard it was when you were unconscious,” I say and she smiles before giving my cheek a kiss. 
“Ok, but what about Ed? He won’t like me being in the tent with you guys,” she says and I shrug as we now walk into the tent. 
“He’ll get over it when he gets here. For now he’s not here, so it’s just you and me,” I say and she starts to try to get out of my hold on her. 
“Ok, but what about everyone else?” she asks as I shake my head and push her to stop moving. 
“I don’t care about them. They can just ignore it. I mean, we are their future King and Queen right? They all must know we’re soulmates, so why let it change anything?” I ask as I now lay her down on my cot that’s in the tent. 
“I guess you're right. Shouldn’t matter what they think,” she says with a grin as she cuddles into me. 
“I am always right, am I not?” I ask her and she giggles, making me smile at the sound. 
“Pft! No, you are not! If anyone is always right, it’s me!” she says playfully and I chuckle as I roll my eyes. 
This feels good. The playful jokes along with being able to talk about the whole soulmates thing without anything being wrong about it. It almost feels like we’ve always known we were, and I suppose maybe we subconsciously always did. 
“Of course. Whatever you say,” I say and she turns around in my arms so she’s facing me. 
“So… soulmates, huh?” she asks as she now starts to play with my hair and my eyes fall closed. 
“Hmm. Soulmates…” I repeat and open my eyes when she giggles. 
That word… It makes my heart want to leap for joy or maybe burst right out of my chest. 
“I’m glad it’s you, Pete,” she says and I grin. 
And… there goes my heart…
“I’m glad it’s you too, love,” I say as I give her forehead a sloppy kiss. 
“Now sleep. You need it after the last few hours you’ve had,” I say in a sleepy tone and she nods. 
“You’ll stay, right?” she sleepily asks as she nuzzles her face into my chest. 
“I’ll stay. I promise,” I say and she gives a light nod before she slowly relaxes. 
I lay there with her safely in my arms for quite a while just listening to her breathe. Soon my own eyes start to close, but I hear someone speak from outside. 
“King Peter?” The person says and I open my eyes. 
“Yes. Come in,” I say and soon I see the same faun that tended to y/n before walking just in the flap of the tent. 
“I was sent to inform you that your brother is back,” she says and I nod at her. 
“Thank you. Anything else?” I ask and she nods. 
“Oreius asked me to inform you to take your time on coming out. Your brother is talking with Aslan and they must have that time alone,” she says and I nod to her. 
“Thank you. You can go now,” I say and she gives a smile. 
“I’m glad to see she is safe with you, sire,” she nods at y/n and I smile as I give her a nod back. 
“Keep her resting. You can wake her when there is food for her. She needs the rest,” she says and I smile back at the faun. 
“Thank you,” I say with another nod and she gives a light bow before leaving. 
I lay there for a few minutes, still just holding her before trying to slip out from underneath her. She stirs a little and I freeze as I watch her sigh before laying still again. I let out a sigh of relief before pulling my blanket out from underneath her and covering her up. 
I take a minute to watch her sleep peacefully and when I’m sure she’ll stay asleep, I head out of the tent. I walk out and make eye contact with Oreius. He looks at me a moment before looking off behind him and my eyes follow. 
My eyes fall on Edmund talking with Aslan on a rock. Oreius then starts to leave as I continue to watch Edmund and Aslan have their conversation. I move forward a little bit as I continue to watch my little brother. 
When I hear a noise from my side, I turn to the girls’ tent to see Susan coming out with a smile on her face and Lucy right behind her. Susan frowns when she sees the look on my face, but both her and Lucy still come over to me. Lucy turns and lets out a gasp when she sees Edmund. 
“Edmund!” Lucy yells excitedly as she starts to run towards him, but I quickly stop her. 
She looks up at me in confusion and when I’m sure she won’t run anymore, I slowly stand up to look back up at the rock. Both Aslan and Edmund are looking over at us. I just stand there and keep as straight of a face as I can before we see Aslan stand and nod to Ed. 
I finally let relief wash over me as I watch Edmund walk down the hill with Aslan jumping down behind him. Ed walks over to us with his hands in his pockets and a serious frown on his face.
“What's done is done. There is no need to speak to Edmund about what is past,” Aslan says as they both come up to us. 
We all watch as Aslan walks away and Edmund slowly looks at us. I stare at his lip and don’t say anything as I continue to look him over for more injuries, but find none. 
“Hello…” Edmund says in a sheepish tone as he looks down in shame. 
Susan smiles and Lucy lets out a small airy laugh before she rushes past Susan and to Edmund. She wastes no time in pulling him into a hug, and at first he’s a little shocked as he almost falls over from her force, but nonetheless hugs her back. 
Susan walks over to them and once Lucy lets go of Edmund, Susan's pulling him into a hug along with a light laugh. Lucy stands back giggles as Susan now lets go of Edmund. 
“Are you alright?” Susan asks him as she fully pulls back with a smile on her face. 
“I’m a little tired,” he replies to her with his own smile. 
“Get some sleep,” I say as I look back at the tent, wanting y/n’s comfort, but I know she’s still sleeping so I look back at him. 
“Where’s y/n?” he asks and I keep my frown on him. 
“She’s in our tent sleeping, as you should be,” I say to him and he nods lightly before starting to walk past me as I stay turned away for a moment. 
“And Edmund…” I say as I quickly turn around to look at him when he turns back to me. 
“Try not to wander off,” I say with a small chuckle as he smiles coyly at me. 
After a moment of looking at each other, he walks back to the tent and I watch as he walks in quietly. I turn back around and look at Susan who gives me a soft look. 
“Go. Be with y/n and Edmund. We’ll come get you when it’s time to eat,” she says and I nod as a thanks to her. 
I quickly walk back to the tent and once I’m inside, I see y/n sitting up and rubbing her eyes. She looks at me and frowns. 
“You left me,” she pouts and I chuckle lightly so I don’t disturb an already sleeping Edmund. 
“I know, love, I'm sorry, but Ed’s back. I wanted to go greet him,” I say, pointing to his sleeping form as she nods before grabbing my hand and pulling me back down. 
“You could have woken me. I would have liked to come see him as well,” she says quietly as I gently play with her hair. 
“I know, but you needed the rest. Don’t worry, you’ll get to eat along with him soon,” I say and she nods. 
“Until then. Continue to rest, you need it,” I say and she sighs. 
“I can’t sleep anymore,” she says and I chuckle. 
“Of course you can’t,” I say as I continue to play with her hair. 
“Just lay with me?” she asks and I hum, giving her forehead another kiss. 
This just feels right… so, so right…
“Of course love, of course,” I say as I start to rub her arm with my fingers. 
We lay like that for a while before the tent flap moves to the side and Susan steps in. She walks in a little closer and smiles. 
“The food is being set out for us as we speak,” she says and I nod. 
“We’ll be out in a minute. Thanks, Su,” I say and she nods before walking out. 
“Well? Are you ready to go eat?” I ask y/n as I stand up and hold out a hand to her.
She goes to answer, but gets cut off by her stomach grumbling. She giggles as I chuckle and she reaches out, grabbing my hand. 
“My stomach has answered for me, but yes, I am very hungry,” she says as I pull her up to the point where she’s standing right next to me and I chuckle. 
“That it did. Come on. Let's go eat,” I say before leading her to the flap of the tent. 
“Go with Susan and Lucy. I’ll wake Edmund and we’ll meet you there,” I say and she nods. 
“Don’t take too long,” she says and I chuckle. 
“What, don’t wanna be away from me for too long?” I ask in a joking tone and she rolls her eyes before looking away sheepishly. 
“What if I were to say yes?” she whispers out as she looks away from me. 
“Y/n…” I say, trying to get her to look at me. 
“It’s just that now knowing we’re soulmates, I guess I just don’t-” she starts to ramble as she shakes her head. 
“Y/n/n, look at me…” I say as I pull her chin to look at me and she stops rambling. 
“It’s ok, love. I feel the same way. You don’t have to explain it to me,” I tell her and she sighs, putting her forehead to mine. 
“Thank you, Pete,” she says lightly and I chuckle just as we hear a gag sound from behind us making me turn to see Ed now awake. 
“You two are still as disgusting as ever, maybe more. Oh! Have you snogged yet? You seem closer than before I left,” Edmund says while he pulls his covers off himself and stands. 
“Oh, Ed, how much you’ve missed,” y/n says with a giggle as she shakes her head and I chuckle. 
“Wait?! What did I miss?!” Ed shouts with his eyes widening and we both laugh at him. 
We then leave him sitting there shocked as we walk out to meet with Susan and Lucy. As soon as we walk out, Lucy hugs y/n with a big smile that makes me smile. Just as y/n and Lucy let go of one another, two fauns walk up to us before bowing. 
“Hi, your Majesties. I’m Oarmia, Oreius’ daughter. He sent me and my friend Hassa to come get you,” The taller faun of the two says with a smile as she points at her friend, who smiles before bowing to us. 
“Hi. As she said, my name’s Hassa. I’ll be leading you to the food set out for you,” the shorter faun says with a smile. 
“Thank you. I’m starving,” Lucy says with a laugh, making us all laugh along with her. 
“Of course. Right this way, your Majesties,” Hassa says as she bows and points to the right of herself. 
We all start to head the way she’s pointing, but we get stopped by Oarmia as she moves to stand in front of us. She bows as we all look at her and she looks to y/n.
“I’m sorry, your Majesties, but Aslan through my father has requested that I bring Queen y/n to him. He said he’d like to have that talk with you,” Oarmia says and y/n nods before turning to me, then back to the faun. 
“Can Peter come along?” Y/n asks Oarmia, who looks a little shocked at first, but quickly smiles. 
“I can go ask Aslan,” Oarmia says as she looks at me and y/n before looking at Hassa. 
“Hassa, can you please take the others to their set up?” Oarmia asks and Hassa nods before showing Susan Edmund and Lucy the way. 
“You two come with me, if you will,” Oarmia says as she looks at me and y/n again. 
Y/n smiles and puts her hand out to me. I take her hand with a smile back at her and we start to follow Oarmia. We follow her in silence to Aslan’s tent and she gives us a light bow before going in. It only takes her a few minutes, but soon she’s coming back out along with Aslan. 
To Be Continued...
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yougotthatbilly · 3 years
Text
take care (m)
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→ member: johnny seo
→ genre: assistant!johnny | smut
→ word count: 15.9k (not surprised atp)
→ playlist: body talk x majid jordan, warm x majid jordan, BoRdErSz x zayn, moment x victoria monét
→ warnings: slowburn, indecisiveness, v  self-indulgent; unprofessional relations, big dick!johnny (ofc; don’t expect anything else), soft dom!johnny, begging (johnny’s a tease), subspace, oral; face-fucking, (and if you squint, ass eating), unprotected sex, squirting, praising, overstimulation, etc. 
↳ summary: your assistant just wants to take care of you
The heavy rain outside mocks you. You were supposed to be at your favorite bar across the street, but here you are sitting at your desk, staring out your window. And that’s how Johnny finds you after being granted entrance into your office.
Your arm is propped up on the arm of your seat, cheek in hand, lips pouted. Johnny does his best not to smile at the thought of you looking adorable as not to piss you off. He just sets your cup of tea down on the coaster on the corner of your desk. 
“How was the meeting?” he asks, taking a seat on the other side of your desk. 
You slowly spin to face him, looking at him with annoyed eyes as you take a sip of your tea. It’s the perfect temperature—a temperature Johnny took almost a month to perfect— and sweetness, and it instantly makes you feel a little better.
“Don’t worry,” you sigh. “Jiyoung didn’t get fired.” You have a three-strike policy; this incident is the second strike.
“Jaehyun,” Johnny corrects, grinning.
You tilt your head at his correction. “I care?”
Johnny just shakes his head, knowing you’re being petty because Jaehyun got his dates wrong and uploaded a post on a few new products a week earlier than the scheduled date, resulting in having to speed things up a little. It didn’t cause a major problem because you’re typically prepared for the worst case scenario, but you don’t like feeling rushed and when things don’t go as planned, so you were pissed. 
“What’s his punishment?”
“That’s between me and him,” you tell Johnny before taking another sip. Your lip curls in disgust at the suggestive look your assistant gives you. “Okay, let’s not be gross. He’s a child.”
“I didn’t know 23 was considered a child,” Johnny teases, mostly because the man of the hour has had a crush on you for the last year he’s been working for you and he’s been trying to get Johnny to talk him up to you. 
“I didn’t know you wanted to get fired in his place,” you say with a tight smile. Johnny decides to switch the subject.
“Mind me asking why you looked so sad when I walked in?”
You sigh once more, slouching in your seat.
“I wanted to go to the bar…” You point to the window beside you. Johnny follows your finger and watches the storm that hasn’t let up since it started half an hour ago. “That’s not happening anytime soon.”
You’ve either been in your office working nonstop or sleeping for the last week or so and you can feel a burnout creeping up. You were going to walk to the bar to get the fresh air you needed, enjoy a drink and your favorite wings because you deserve it—especially after the headache Jaehyun caused the moment you stepped foot into your office this morning—and indulge yourself. Now look at you, hardly munching on the fruit slices Johnny gave you this morning and almost finished with your tea.
“I’m sorry things aren’t going the way you planned today.” Johnny pouts. “On the bright side, you don’t have anything else on your schedule so if you wanted to go home within the next hour, you wouldn’t fall behind.”
“I’ll probably just take a nap on the futon once I’m done looking over the new plan again.” You shrug. 
Johnny wants to roll his eyes, but he catches himself. He’s sure you’ve already gone over it at least five times. There’s nothing he can do about it, though, so lifts himself out of his seat. “I’ll leave you to it. Just give me a call if something comes up or you change your mind.”
To both of your surprise, you actually head out and get yourself a candle you’d ran out of a week ago on the way home to treat yourself to a much needed bath filled with bubbles and essential oils. The scent of the candle reminds you of your assistant because it’s the scent he got you for your birthday, and it’s become your favorite. 
You send a picture of the candle at the end of your tub to Johnny, thanking him again for putting you onto greatness, as he worded it before when you first smelled it in front of him and your eyes practically rolled back. 
[18:14] John Suh: Are you actually relaxing???
You suck your teeth at his response, but you can’t blame him. He’s the only one that knows just how much you put in to get to the position you’re in, while you’re positive a lot of others just think it was handed to you by your mother instead of the school and endless hours work you went through and continue to go through. It’s very rare you give yourself the time to truly sit back and relax aside from when you’re on vacation. And even then, work never really stops. It just gets placed on the back burner for a little.
[18:16] you: Hush.
[18:17] John Suh: I’m just glad you’re taking care of yourself. Your dark circles have been snitching on you.
[18:17] you: Wow. You really wanna get fired today, huh?
[18:18] John Suh: Dark circles or not, you know you’re still beautiful. Now stop texting me and enjoy your bath!
When you find yourself smiling at your phone, you know you should do exactly what he says. Johnny’s always been a complimenter, though his usual kindness goes along the lines of telling you that you look nice. You’re no stranger to this specific compliment, you get it all the time on Instagram from your business partners and supporters. So why does this time settle differently within you?
[18:21] you: Nice save. 
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You need a video of one of your popular social media influencer ambassadors using and reviewing your newest skincare products tomorrow—due to Jaehyun’s mix-up—but that’s not happening. She didn’t record it before going on vacation and didn’t think to bring the products with her on her trip. While it isn’t her fault times have moved around, you’re annoyed she didn’t bring the products with her when she’s supposed to be using them every day because she’s one of your main advocates for your products being oily skin-friendly. You have the videos of the other models with their specific skin types, and this is your missing piece. 
The weather is nice today, so you take a much-needed break from electronics and go to the roof of the building. Your peace is quickly interrupted by the body of a six-foot male in front of you, standing in the way of the sunlight you were basking in.
“I know you hate him right now,” Johnny begins, skipping over greetings to get to the point of his disruption. “But Jaehyun has oily skin, he’s been using the products you gave him for like three weeks, he really likes them, and he has a good following on Instagram.”
You take the phone handed to you begrudgingly and look at Jaehyun’s page. Thirteen thousand followers and quality pictures. You’re not blind, Jaehyun is conventionally attractive and looks like a model in the photos and boomerangs. Something is missing, though. “Eh.”
“‘Eh?’” Johnny parrots, confused. He doesn’t know a better last-minute model for you than Jaehyun.
“Something’s missing,” you explain with a shrug. You absentmindedly tap the profile icon at the bottom of the screen and Johnny’s Instagram profile pops up. The two of you follow each other, so it’s not like you’ve never seen his pictures, but it’s been a while since you actually paid attention to detail. He has eighteen thousand followers and apparently uploads his pictures following a color theme. There are pictures of himself, random people, and nature in a strategic flow. When you select a video to watch, you’re sold on the lighting, exposure, and the way he captured the woman’s features. “Sit.”
Johnny does so without any questions. You gently grab his jaw and study his face closely. His skin is supple and dewy, the sun highlighting his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. Not that his skin was bad before he started using your products, but the texture and scarring have minimized quite a bit. Johnny doesn’t have the typical, bland model face your competitors love so much, especially with the slight stubble he’s got above his top lip and on his chin. 
“What’s your skin type, John?” 
“Oily,” he sighs, knowing what’s coming next. He was doing his job as your assistant, trying to make your life easier, but now he wishes he would’ve left this task to the social media department and stayed out of it. 
You thought so. “Will you do this for me instead?”
“Do I look like an influencer to you?” 
“Yes. I’ll double your next check and everything,” you promise him. “You actually have a personality and everything you post is quality. Women will love the eye candy and all types of men will take you seriously because you don’t have that annoying pristine, perfect look to you like Jaeyoung does.”
Johnny is here to fulfill your needs, so he knows you asking is really just you being polite. He doesn’t have much of a choice, especially with the lack of time you have. He is enjoying the warmth of your hand and the fact you referred to him as ‘eye candy,’ too. And who is he to say no to extra money?
“I’ll have it recorded and edited by midnight,” Johnny smiles, giving you the hope you need. 
“Ugh, you’re the best,” you sigh in relief, shaking his face side to side affectionately before letting him go to stand up. You feel much better now. “Send it directly to me.” 
Johnny stands up with you and leads the way, opening the door for you. “Yes, ma’am.”
Always true to his word, Johnny emails you two links at a quarter-till, with a message attached: 
Good evening, 
I edited two videos for you, one short enough for a regular post on the company’s page and the other that could be used for my IGTV for my followers. I hope these meet your expectations, but if there’s anything you need me to fix or redo, let me know and I’ll get right to it. 
Sincerely, 
John Suh
You get comfortable in your bed with your iPad and tap the first link. You make sure the brightness and volume are high enough to get the full effect, then press play. The quality of the film makes you assume he used a professional camera instead of his phone, and he gets a point for that. 
“Hey,” Johnny starts with an awkwardly endearing smile. “I know this is a little different than what I usually post, but I got scouted by the skincare goddess herself to be an ambassador for Surreal’s new line of skincare, Ethereal.”
You grin at the nickname and note that with him being in the bathroom, there’s no echo in his audio, and that gives him another point.
“I’ve been using the four of the five products I’m about to introduce to you everyday for around a month and before I do my skincare routine for you, I’ll show you what my skin looked like before I started using these products with dates so you don’t think I’m just trying to sell you on them just because she’s been writing my checks for the last year,” Johnny chuckles, then the screen shows a selfie Johnny took with the date of a month ago from today, some hyperpigmentation and small bumps dotting his cheek and jaw. 
Another point for including before and afters. You knew he’d meet your expectations without you having to say much.  
“I’ll get up close and personal at the end so you can really see the results,” Johnny winks into the camera, causing you to blink. 
You knew he’d have personality and that was one of the main reasons he was a great idea, and while in hindsight his actions are predictable, you shake your head. The fact that he’s actually charming makes you scoff, but you’re sure that the damn wink only worked on you right now because it’s almost midnight and you should be asleep right now. You won’t act like he hasn’t always been nice on the eyes, but he’s Johnny. 
You can’t deny that you do thoroughly enjoy the Johnny presented to you through the screen, though. 
“The first product is an oil-based cleanser because the SPF in this collection is oil-based as well,” Johnny explains, then proceeds to show the jar and small spatula that comes with it before he scooped some out, capturing the texture of the product well. 
And that’s how the rest of the video plays out, the unusually deep, gentle tone of Johnny’s voice explaining how well each product works for his oily and acne-prone skin, lulling you into a relaxed state against your headboard. He keeps things short and simple, the video just barely passing three minutes and as promised, his face comes a lot closer to the screen, showing the faded scarring and smooth texture of what used to be his problem areas. Johnny ends the video with a sweet smile and says goodbye. The shorter video is edited to where he’s hardly talking, mostly just demoing your products, just the way you like things to be on the company’s page.
You did great, John. Thanks again for doing this last minute. You can come in at 10 am tomorrow since I had you working overtime today. Rest well. 
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Johnny is at your desk with your morning cup of tea at eight in the morning, a bright smile on his face as he tells you good morning. 
You glare at him. “Why are you here?”
“Because it’s my job?” Johnny says, pretending like he doesn’t know what you’re referring to. You can read him well, though. You take the mug out of his hand before gesturing for him to take a seat in front of you. 
“You’re either being hard-headed as usual, or you’re anxious about your video being uploaded. Which is it?” 
And that wipes the bright smile off of his face. 
“I slept three hours last night,” he confesses. “I’m not used to this kind of exposure.”
You take a couple of sips of your tea and quietly observe him, thinking. 
“Would you prefer we didn’t post it, then?”
Your assistant looks at you as if you didn’t just speak one of the languages he’s fluent in. You just blink at him and continue drinking your beverage, waiting for him to either say yes or no in case you need to make other plans, again.
“You’d do that for me?” he finally says after a while of staring at you like you’re crazy. 
“Why wouldn’t I?” you ask slowly. “You’ve proven how far you’d go for me and I appreciate it, but I care about you as a person and anxiety is a bitch, so I wouldn’t want you to be panicking over Jaejoon’s mistake.”
The corner of Johnny’s lift curls at your continued pettiness, and maybe his heart does a thing at the fact that you care that much about him. It’s obvious to everyone that he is the closest to you out of all of your employees; being your assistant means you let your guard down a little with him. Along with the more serious side of your personality everyone else gets (especially recently), he sees your soft side. You’re not an overly strict boss, but Johnny gets to see you smile more and pout (he’d lose his job if he admitted to you how endearing your pout is to him). But even with the closer relationship the two of you have, Johnny would’ve never expected you to choose his stage fright over your baby; your company.
“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” Johnny declines with a shake of his head. “I’ll be okay, I promise. Thank you for considering my feelings, though.”
You shrug, not about to press him on the issue. “Alright. I need you to post the IGTV at 2 pm and tag our page in an appropriate caption. I’d suggest you turn your notifications off for a while because as soon as you post it, it’s getting posted to our story then I’m sure you’re gonna get flooded with DM’s.”
“Flooded?’” Johnny asks, head tilted. “I mean, all I’ll have to do is copy and paste the same message answering any questions they might have about the products. Easy.”
You’re the one to look at him like he’s stupid this time. You set your mug down, lean back in your swivel chair, and clasp your hands over your stomach. “You can’t be that dense.”
“‘Dense?’” he asks.
“Are you a parrot?” you tsk. “But yes, dense. You know good and well most of the messages will have nothing to do with my products and everything to do with you.”
Johnny has the audacity to still be confused after your explanation. 
“John, you realize you’re a good-looking guy with a likable personality, right?” 
It’s not that he doesn’t know that. Johnny’s always been a pretty confident guy, with both his looks and personality. His confusion doesn’t stem from being blind or too humble. It’s the fact you of all people are telling him this right now. 
“You think so?” he prompts, just to see how many compliments he can get out of you. This is a rare occasion.
“When you’re not being annoyingly happy-go-lucky and chill out, yes.” You reply. And now he’s pouting. That’s what he gets.
“I thought my cheerfulness brought joy to your days,” Johnny says with a dramatic hand on his heart, offended.
“What brings me joy is everything running smoothly and everyone doing their job,” you correct. He isn’t wrong, but you decide not to stroke his ego any more than you already have. And you’ve already said too much. “With that being said, you do everything I ask of you, and that brings me so much joy. You’re the perfect assistant, so don’t cry.”
“Is this your way of telling me to calm down?”
Your iPad buzzes against the wood of your desk and when you peek at it, you see it’s an email from Jaehyun with the subject: Today’s upload schedule.
“This is my way of telling you to get to work, honey.”
Johnny often finds himself slowly backing out of your office with his hands up in surrender, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He loves the distinct differences between the two of you. He figures it’s why you work so well together and why he’s held this job position for over a year in comparison to the two assistants before him that both got fired before the six-month mark. Johnny’s also positive that you love his excessively positive nature (as Jaehyun has described Johnny’s personality before) somewhere deep down and that he brightens your day after dealing with idiots like Jaehyun. 
When your assistant is out of sight, you grab your iPad, respond to Jaehyun’s email, and find yourself rewatching today’s scheduled video. Maybe more than once. 
The video is up at 2 pm sharp and Johnny does as advised, turning his Instagram notifications off immediately. He even goes as far as taking his phone off of vibrate so he isn’t aware of any other notifications until he decides to look at his phone again. He’s got things to organize anyway, so the work he has to do takes his mind off of any anxiety within him. 
That is until you appear at the doorway of his office an hour later. This is a rare occurrence, so Johnny can’t be blamed for staring at you, and in the process, he appreciates the very fitted pantsuit you’re wearing. You took off the blazer sometime in between when Johnny left your office hours ago and now, and he thinks that the blush pink blouse compliments your complexion and red lips very well. But of course it does. Everything you wear compliments everything about you perfectly. 
Just one of the many observations Johnny has made in the past year.
“How do you feel?” you ask him. Your voice is always so calm and collected, even when you’re ripping someone to shreds because of idiocy. Johnny admittedly admires that about you.
“I’ve done everything under the sun to avoid my phone,” Johnny confesses with a weak laugh.
You nod. “Well, just know that I’ve had multiple companies and modeling agencies ask why I’ve been hiding you. So don’t be surprised if you have job opportunities waiting for you.” 
“Wow… this means I can finally quit,” Johnny hardly whispers with a victorious fist pump.
“I wish the hell you would,” you deadpan, breaking Johnny’s act and causing him to laugh loudly at the lack of expression paired with your response. “You’re mine unless there’s a tragic accident, God forbid, or you’re moving up in the ranks.”
“Promise?” 
“Promise,” you confirm, sending him a wink before turning on your heel and strutting back to your own office. Johnny licks his lips at the sight of the natural sway of your hips before shaking his head and getting back to working on the excel sheet staring at him.
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“How is it that you all have the skills and training for the very simple tasks I ask you to complete, yet lack common sense and proper work ethic?” 
Everyone in the room, excluding Johnny, just looks up at you from their seats, pitiful expressions on their faces. Their eyes follow you as you slowly walk to the other side of the room. You’re trying to stay calm and be professional, so pacing around the room is your best bet. 
To Johnny, you look like you’re on a runway in slow motion, modeling the slim-fitting pencil skirt and red bottoms you’re adorning. Though still attentive to every word coming out of your mouth, Johnny lets himself get lost in each step you take because he’s not the one getting chewed out. 
Mark, one of the newest additions to the marketing department, leans into Johnny’s side to whisper into his ear. “How have you managed to not fuck up and be on the receiving end of her talks yet?”
You don’t hear anything, but you see whispering happening, and now is not the time for side conversations. Johnny doesn’t even have the chance to turn to Mark or tell him to shut up until the end of the meeting before you’re speaking again.
“Mark Lee,” you call as you make your way towards him, causing him to sit up straight. “Is there something you’d like to say?”
“No, ma’am,” he responds nervously. Johnny internally shakes his head at Mark not being able to think quickly and lie. “My apologies.”
“Is there anything anyone wants to say or am I just a narcissist who loves talking to hear my lovely voice? Should I sing?” you ask, standing next to Johnny at the end of the conference table, hand on your hip. “Y’all want a performance?”
Johnny bites the inside of his cheek to refrain from laughing. Your sarcasm only intensifies the unsettled looks on everyone’s face and they all side-eye Jungwoo, their savior from the last time they got chewed out as a whole. Jungwoo raises his hand before saying, “There’s nothing we can say to excuse our actions—or lack thereof, but we will get right on it and do our jobs correctly this time. You won’t have to repeat yourself again.”
Johnny is impressed at how quickly your features soften. The ready-to-fire-someone look melts away as you nod at Jungwoo’s promise. You do have a bit of a soft spot for the latter, though, so it makes sense. 
“I’ll take your word for it. You’re dismissed,” you announce, waving everyone off. 
The room is empty, save for you and your assistant, in mere seconds. 
“You’re going to give them nightmares,” Johnny chuckles, gathering your belongings before opening the door for you to exit the conference room. He laughs once more at your responding yawn.
“How? That was me on my best behavior,” you retort, your heels clicking loudly as you walk to the elevator. “And what was Lee whispering about?”
“Your employees are just amazed that I’ve kept you satisfied for so long.”
You walk into the elevator once the doors slide open and lean against the mirrored wall, arms crossed. Your eyes are squinted as you give Johnny a once over. He has done everything right since he completed his training. “You think you can keep me satisfied?” 
There’s a challenging tone in your voice that causes Johnny to lick his lips. “I’d never disappoint you.”
Your response is a nod of your head paired with a drawn-out hum, and then you walk out of the elevator to your office once you hit your floor, walking ahead of Johnny without another word. You laugh at yourself when you replay the short conversation in your mind at the feeling you got in your gut at his response. And then you’re scoffing because, once again, it’s Johnny.
Johnny… Over six feet, amicable, charming, handsome as all hell Johnny. The scene of him licking his lips and saying those four words in that promising, deep voice in the elevator flashes through your mind once you’re seated at your desk. Your fingernail taps against the wood as you roll your lips together, stuck in your head. The ironic conclusion you come to before getting back to work is that you’re working way too much and just lacking male attention because there’s no other plausible reason for your goofy-ass assistant to have been on your mind so much for the last couple of days. 
“Really?” Johnny asks when he walks in and sees you slumped over your desk.
Your eyes flutter open at his voice.
“I was just resting my eyes” you yawn, waving him off. 
“What work is there possibly left for you to do at this point?” The products go on the market tomorrow, meaning all the work that had to be done in preparation for the launch was completed before everyone left today (the marketing department got their shit together quickly because they know about your policy and how unforgiving you are when the deadline is right around the corner). The only thing left for your marketing team to do tomorrow is look over everything once more and then you’re free to sit back and wait for customers to buy the new products and idly watch over social media if you really wanted to. It frustrates Johnny that you always find something extra to do. 
“I was doing some last minute, um”— another yawn —“touches on the-”
“Well, that’s enough,” Johnny interrupts your explanation, walking around to your side of the desk and plucking the pen out of your hand.
 You just nod and lean back in your ridiculously big swivel chair, blinking up at him slowly, because he’s right. There’s literally nothing else for you to do and you have the most full coverage concealer under your eyes; you need to rest. 
“Am I driving you home tonight?” He asks as he packs your belongings into the massive purse on the box by your feet then places it on your desk so he doesn’t have to bend back down to retrieve it.
“Yeah, I don’t feel like moving,” you mumble, thankful you spent so much money on the chair you’re oh-so comfortable in. 
Johnny puts his hands out for you to grab, and once you do so, he pulls you up. You groan and lean forward into him to catch your balance after not being on your feet for many hours, but then Johnny’s hand on firm on the middle of your lower back, and the pressure makes you stay. He’s just helping you steady yourself, a position you’ve been in once or twice before because you like to push your limits (says both your therapist and your assistant), but he smells good and he’s warm; his presence is comforting. It always has been, which is why he’s made the perfect assistant for you. 
“Are you okay?” he asks, looking down at the top of your head that simply nods in response.
“Think I pushed my limit,” you admit, much to your assistant’s surprise. It’s not that you’re prideful, but you don’t exactly like showing weakness, especially in front of your employees.
Though tempted to just let you rest your head on his chest because he doesn’t mind the proximity at all and knows you’re somehow comfortable, Johnny makes sure you’re standing steadily by yourself so he can drape your coat over your shoulders. He grabs your purse and wraps an arm around your waist then guides you out of your office, all the way to the parking garage, saying goodbye to the confused cleaning staff on his way out. 
He presses the button on the handle of the passenger side’s door to unlock it, opens the door, then fits you inside of his car. Johnny leans over your body to buckle your seat belt, and when he’s back away, he catches you looking at him with a look he can’t quite decipher. 
“What’s up?”
You shake your head and blink slowly. “I just really appreciate you, John.”
Johnny just nods to save face and closes the door before making his way to the driver’s seat. He’s not quite sure how to feel or respond to the soft-spoken, sleepy side of you since it’s been months since the one other time you’ve been in a similar situation, and he wasn’t as smitten as he is now. 
You’re fighting your sleep because even though you trust Johnny, you want to be as aware during this trip to your house. It’s a hard feat, though. His car is big and comfortable and the hum of the engine is trying to lull you into a deep sleep. 
Johnny looks over at you after getting on the main road and notices your internal fight. 
“You can fall asleep, you know.”
“You might take my organs.” 
“I would’ve done that a long time ago if I wanted to,” Johnny humors you. His response brings a small smile to your face, and that keeps a smile on his own. 
“You have a really pretty smile, John.”
“Thank you,” Johnny says, figuring it’s just your exhaustion talking. 
“I’m almost jealous of how pretty your lips are,” you sigh, mouth not filtering your thoughts at this point of exhaustion (you’ve gotten 10 hours of sleep in the last week, but no one, especially not Johnny, needs to know that). You don’t care enough to try to “correct” yourself because the pretty curl of his lips gets even deeper.
“Really?” Johnny asks, trying his luck again because he’s sure tonight isn’t like the other day in your office. “You think my lips are pretty?”
You hum and cuddle into his seat even more. After staring at his profile a while longer, you tell him, “I think you’re pretty.”
That makes him laugh again, taken aback at the string of compliments coming out of your mouth towards him of all people. It’s not that you’re mean or don’t applaud him for his great work, but this is a very different side of you that he’s seeing. He likes it.
“That’s a first, but I’ll take it,” he says, taking a moment to look at you again before focusing on the road again. “Thank you.”
“Are you used to hearing ‘handsome?’ ‘Fine?’ ‘Sexy?’” You notice how Johnny’s brows lift. “Too far?”
He shakes his head. “No, you’re good. I like you when you’re nice.”
“You like me regardless,” you say with a sassy scoff, pretending to flip your hair even though it’s slicked back in a low bun, the same as every workday.
Johnny nods slowly, contemplating if he should humor you or just laugh you off. It literally takes him 0.5 seconds to go with the former option because he’s been waiting for the day the two of you step out of professional talk and get into something more personal, specifically between the two of you. “You got me there. I mean, what isn’t there to like?”
Your eyes squint as you analyze him and process his words. There’s a subtle but still very noticeable shift in the air after his question, and while you’re sure it’s your fault for letting your exhaustion let you feel comfortable enough to open your mouth and start spewing out nice things to your assistant, his response is enough to keep it up. It also doesn't help that this is a far more intimate setting than work. 
“Be careful, you keep saying things like that and I’ll think you have a crush on me,” you tease him, chuckling at the snort he responds with. 
Before Johnny snitches on himself, he flips the script. “Says the one staring at my lips long enough to deem them ‘pretty’ and calling me pretty, of all things.” 
“Well,” you start as your gaze goes right back to his mouth at the mention of it. “It would be unprofessional of me to tell you that I think you’re fine as hell, so,” you shrug.
You and Johnny have always had a bit of banter between the two of you, and while this topic isn’t something that’s been covered before, it’s hard to really care when you feel comfortable enough to cross that line right now. If he hadn’t been playing along, you wouldn’t have said anything more than the simple compliment from earlier, but with the reciprocity, the logical voice within gets pushed away. Exhaustion isn’t much of an excuse at this point because that high from tiredness has passed. 
The timing of the traffic light turning red is a little too perfect. Johnny takes the opportunity to look at you again, and something lights up in his chest when he catches how your eyes travel up from his mouth to look into his own eyes at his attention. 
“It would be unprofessional,” he agrees with another nod of his head. “But I can’t say the feeling isn’t mutual.”
You hum and nod. “Good to know.”
“You must not be sleeping well for you to be throwing out compliments like that.” Johnny leans onto the middle counsel.
“I’m not saying anything I haven’t thought of for a while.” You tell him after a beat, choosing to reply honestly since you’re already here. Johnny quirks a brow to prompt you to elaborate, and you do so, mirroring his position and propping your chin in your hand. His face is a lot closer now, but you keep your eyes on his own orbs to avoid losing focus. “I hired you because of your experience and skill set, but I knew it wouldn’t hurt to have some eye-candy around me. Pretty privilege and all,” you wave a nonchalant hand. “You were perfect until you opened your mouth.”
“You can never be nice to me for long, can you?” he snorts.
“You’re perfect tonight, though,” you add on, specifically for the quirk of Johnny’s mouth that comes from the praise. Yeah, you failed the challenge. 
“How so?” Johnny questions, quickly checking to see if the light has changed yet. It hasn’t, and for once in his life he’s grateful for a long light. He feels good about where this conversation could possibly get him after a year of silently admiring you, so good that he not-so-subtly gets even closer, definitely in your bubble, but nothing too crazy.
“You’re calm and collected and taking care of me,” you admit. The silent deep breath you take to calm yourself grants you access to the scent of Johnny’s cologne again, and your mind is so close to deciding that logic is unnecessary. A tiny voice in the back of your mind has been trying to get your attention and steer you in the opposite direction of the one you’ve decided to take, with how you tilt your head up to get just a little closer to him.
“You like being taken care of?”
“I love it,” you confess, and Johnny takes the chance to tuck a stray hair behind your ear as he hums, content with your response. Definitely an excuse to test the waters and see how far he can go and how willing you are to really cross this line. You turn your face into his hand so he cups your jaw, but then there’s a horn sounding behind you because the light is green, and Johnny begrudgingly has to pay attention to the road. You blink, the trance you found yourself in with him so close but so far away dissipating, the situation becoming a lot more real now that he’s out of your space. You slump back into your seat and look out of the window, that voice becoming louder and grounding you as you take another deep breath. “But allowing myself to be vulnerable with someone like that? Yikes.”
He knows your defense mechanism is trying to kick in, but he’s not having it.
“Aside from me?” 
You hum. “Not quite…” 
You set yourself up. From that moment in the elevator to now, you’ve been digging your own grave, and Johnny has done nothing but assist you, encourage you to dig deeper. You’re not sleepy anymore, there’s no more foggy brain from earlier when he found you asleep in the office. Just desire you’ve done a grand job of ignoring up until the last few days. But unfortunately, you have to remind yourself you’ve been ignoring it for a reason.
Your assistant almost doesn’t say anything because he loves his job and you clearly switched the direction of the conversation for a reason, but so much (yet so little) has already been said during your time in the car and you’ve already said enough to get the gears in his head turning. 
“So you mean a different type of care?”Johnny asks. He pulls into your driveway and parks. He wants to get back to the space the two of you were at when stopped at that light, but you’re already unbuckling your seat belt and grabbing your purse, signifying that the moment is long gone. That doesn’t stop him from trying, though. “Do you need me to walk you in?”
“I think I’ve got it now, thanks.” You need to get inside and get some sleep. Are you running right now? Of course. You’re a responsible person and the most responsible thing for you to do as the woman that signs his paychecks, is to get the fuck away from him before he persuades you, because you both know it’s possible.
“Let me rephrase that:” he licks his pretty lips and your fist balls up around your purse’s straps. “Do you want me to walk you in? I know you didn’t need me to do most of what I’ve done tonight, but you let me because you wanted me to.” His ability to read you so well is both a blessing and a curse. “Now would you like for me to continue taking care of you tonight or not?” 
You do. You absolutely do. You’re tempted to say yes in the case you don’t end up alone tonight, but you know it’s not a good idea. And you’re sure the atmosphere of this car ride will disappear by the time you wake up. At least that’s what you tell yourself because you know, ethics.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you tell Johnny, opening the door and stepping out. “Thanks for the ride. Drive safe.”
Johnny watches you walk up to your door, unlock it, then disappear into your house. He lets out a deep sigh before backing out of your driveway and driving home.
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Tea, fruit slices, and avocado toast are set down in front of you the moment you walk behind your desk. 
“Good morning,” Johnny greets you calmly. “Your eleven o’clock meeting has been pushed back thirty minutes, so I’d suggest using the opportunity to get out of the building and get some fresh air. You know, get away from electronics and people to recharge.”
That’s exactly what you’ll do. You’re going to be monitoring the Instagram engagement and website sales for a while, even though you pay people to be on top of numbers, so a break will definitely be needed. 
“I love your brain, you know that?” you ask, looking up at him once your jacket and bag are off of your body, meeting his eye. The corner of Johnny’s mouth twitches. 
“I told you I’d never disappoint you.”
“And I’m holding you to that.” You ignore the fact that there’s definitely another meaning behind his words. You can’t say the tension that last night’s conversation produced has gone away completely, but it’s weak enough for you to ignore it and stick to the amicable atmosphere the two of you have built for the last year plus.
“Would it be alright if I accompanied you during your walk?” Johnny prompts after a moment of him just standing there, pursing his lips together to refrain himself from grinning at you. “There’s something I’d like to run by you because I trust your opinion as my boss and my friend.”
“We’re friends?” you joke, settling into your seat.
“Last time I checked,” he responds, unfazed. “We could be even closer if you let yourself be vulnerable with me.” 
And there it is.
“John,” you say after a brief pause. He’s got his hands in his pockets, face mostly void of emotion. Johnny doesn’t want things to go back to normal, and he’s decided to let you know in the most subtle, yet obvious way. Why ignore the feeling when it’s clearly mutual? 
“Yes, boss?”
“You can leave now.”
The grin on the male’s face falters. He examines you to see just how serious you are, and he knows this isn’t one of your playful banter moments. He tries to call your name, either to ease the situation and tell you it was just a bad joke or to apologize, but you just remove your attention from him and get on your iPad. 
And when he’s out of the room, the door closed behind him, you let out a frustrated sigh. Up until you fell asleep, if you weren’t thinking about your launch, you were thinking about him. If you weren’t thinking about the numbers from your last launch and the possibility of exceeding them, you were thinking of the way you felt and the words he said while you were in that intimate bubble before the horn honked at him. You had to take a couple melatonin gummies to shut your mind up and knock out. The sleep was amazing, the best you’d had in a while, but then when you were conscious again, Johnny was back.
You could have done without stepping into uncharted territory last night. To him, it may not seem as deep as you’re making it out to be, but there’s too much on the line for you. Your professionalism. Your pride. Your job, quite possibly. His job. You could pay him off if you decided to fire him, but you don’t want to deal with bribes making you feel like a shitty person. You don’t want a new assistant. You want Johnny.
At that very last thought, you pick up the phone and call Jaehyun to have him run the plan by you one more time. He thinks it’s because of his fuck up from before, and you just let him think that. 
Thankfully, Johnny is out of your way until later in the night. He didn’t try to accompany you on your walk, but he has no choice but to be here at the company outing taking place to celebrate your products selling out within 4 hours. 
All shots are on you, so your employees are taking advantage of this, recording  as everyone clinks their shot glasses together and downs the painful alcohol down. You’re two shots in and you mentally note that three is your limit for tonight. Maybe four. You’re already a bit of a lightweight, and there’s no way in hell you’re going to make a fool of yourself in front of your employees. Regardless, you’re having a pretty good time. As a gift, your best friend rented out the bar, so it’s empty save for your large group, and Joohyun’s presence is a godsend. She’s being friendly enough to your employees and for the most part she hasn’t left your side, being the comfort she doesn’t realize you need. 
“Congrats again, babe,” she says excitedly to you, pushing another shot in front of you as she scoots into the seat next to you. “Can we take that vacation in Bora Bora now that you’re free and even richer?” Her teasing smile makes you crack one of your own and sigh.
“You know that trip is for August. Be patient, Bae.”
She rolls her eyes but her expression doesn’t falter. Her gaze wanders a bit as she sips from her mixed drink and then she’s looking at you expectantly. You raise a brow to prompt her.
“How is it that all of your employees are hot as fuck?” she asks bluntly. “Even the women.”
You take a glance around like you don’t remember what everyone looks like. “I mean, I guess.”
“Especially a certain assistant.”
“Go for it,” you tell her, nodding in his direction. The said male is at the bar ordering something with his arm draped over Jaehyun’s shoulders, the two of them laughing about whatever the latter just said. 
“You know that’s not why I said that,” Joohyun scoffs, swatting at your arm. You may have mentioned to her a while ago that your assistant is very nice on the eyes and you sometimes enjoy watching him as he does his job. “Plus, Jaehyun’s more my type.”
You shrug. “I’m sure they’d be down for a threesome.”
Your best friend hits you once again. “What’s with your mood? You’re not acting like someone who just sold out in only a few hours.” 
Before she decided to bring a certain assistant up, you were doing pretty well. You’d been able to not look at him for too long or even have to speak to him much aside from a greeting and his congratulations before he was by Jaehyun’s side and Joohyun was by yours. But now, with him being mentioned, your eyes are having a hard time pulling away from his figure. His tie is loosened and the top few buttons of his shirt are undone. His sleeves are rolled up right under his elbows and show off the tattoo on his arm. 
You rip your eyes off of him and down your shot. Yeah, you’re thinking four.
Joohyun’s incredulous laugh brings your attention back to her. “You didn’t.”
“What?”
She leans into your side to whisper, “You’re in a mood because of Johnny?”
You side-eye her because you don’t like how quickly she read you, and her smile grows wide. 
“Oh, my—you slept with Johnny?!” she continues to whisper-yell.
“No,” you hiss. “I did not. But I could have and that’s the issue.”
“Not seeing the issue?” She’s always been the little devil on your left shoulder. “The only reason I brought him up is because I’ve noticed how often you have his attention when you’re not even in the same area. And I know the difference between a look of concern and a look of want. He’s got a good ratio of both going on.”
“Okay, Miss Couple’s Therapist,” you mutter. “You ever heard of conflict of interest?”
And that shuts her up. Only for a few seconds, though.
“All I’m saying is I know you’ve thought about it… and you’re probably thinking about it now,” she giggles, making it hard for you to keep glaring at her. “I’m just trying to help you understand that it wouldn’t be a bad thing if there is a mutual understanding between the two of you on what flies and what cannot and shall not happen regarding the matter. You’re both consenting adults and it’s obvious he’d be on his knees for you with the snap of a finger.”
You decide against telling her about last night’s situation nor do you let her know you’re considering her words. That you’ve been considering the whole thing for days. 
You change the subject instead, asking her about how her latest trip overseas went.
It lasts for only so long when Johnny and Jaehyun make their way over to your table. 
They greet the two of you and you give a nod, choosing now to be the perfect time to check your notifications, while Joohyun says, “Hey guys.”
“Why are you checking your phone when you should be enjoying your time?” Johnny asks right by your ear, his voice lacking excitement but instead low enough to almost make your thumb falter as you scroll. “Get off your phone and celebrate, please?”
You make the mistake of looking up. He’s too close to your face to use the music playing through the speakers in the bar as an excuse. His eyes don’t have their usual playful glint in them. They look down at you with a purpose, and you’re kind of embarrassed at how fast you comply with his request. You drop the device into your purse and zip it up for extra measures.
“Thank you,” he smiles. “I got this for you two, by the way.”
Johnny slides a plate of your favorite wings on the table.
“Aw thank you, Johnny,” Joohyun coos, shooting you an annoyingly smug glance. “Are you gonna sit with us?”
“Is that okay with you, boss?” Jaehyun asks after sharing a look with his friend.
“Have at it,” you smile tightly, gesturing to the seats across from you. While they make themselves comfortable, you steal your best friend’s shot and actively ignore the way she looks at you from the corner of her eye.
Joohyun and Jaehyun fall into conversation easily after she compliments the watch he’s wearing. You nibble on some celery, actively ignoring how Johnny’s still too close. He subtly squeezes your knee to get your attention, and when he’s got it, he tilts his head in the direction of the bar. 
“I drank enough,” you tell him with a shake of your head.
“It’s not about a drink. I would like to speak to you alone, please,” Johnny explains in a whisper. A tiny voice in your mind says hell no because of what Joohyun has put in your head, but the rational voice reminds you that he is your assistant and you can’t avoid him forever. 
You tell your best friend that you’re gonna get a drink and that you’ll be back, and when she notices Johnny getting up with you she nods with a whisper of a smirk on her lips all without breaking the conversation she’s having. 
“What’s up?” you ask once seated on a barstool, at least a few seats away from everyone else.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I was trying to make light of the situation and I took it too far. As for last night, it was wrong of me to make a proposition like, so I want to apologize for that, as well.”
You nod as he speaks, letting his words process in your brain. 
“I spoke out of line last night and gave you an opening, so that part was on me. I apologize and I hope we can move forward from it. Thank you for your apology.” You try to get up and make your way back to your table quickly, but Johnny gently grabs your hand until he knows you’ll stay in your seat. 
For a moment he wanted to just apologize so you can stop being distant with him and he can stop purposely avoiding you for your space, but your response rubs him the wrong way and now he doesn’t really want to drop it. He wants to talk about it because the topic clearly came up for a reason last night and he’s tired of denying how he feels towards you, especially now that he knows he’s not alone after a while of thinking there was no way in hell his little crush would even get him this far. 
“Can you not shut me out right now?”
You really don’t like his ability to see through you.
“I accepted your apology and gave you the one you deserved... how am I shutting you out?” you bullshit him anyway.
“I’m not gonna pretend that what happened last night didn’t happen. I can’t,” Johnny tells you honestly. “Can I speak to you as a friend instead of your employee for a moment?”
“I guess,” you shrug.
“As your friend, what I say cannot be held against me as your assistant.”
“Whatever, John. Go ahead.” 
“I want you,” he confesses, and there’s really no going back from here. “I am very attracted to you and when you spoke about wanting to be vulnerable and taken care of last night it only made me want you more. And if there’s anyone you can let your guard down with and that will take great care of you, it’s me, and you know this.”
All you can do is stare at him for a while. If you hadn’t had that conversation with Joohyun a while ago you would not still be in this seat, letting him know you’re truly considering his proposition. The dip in your gut at his confession confirms your feelings, but your brain and your body conflict. 
Can you separate business from pleasure in this instance? 
If you allow your desires to become reality and it’s nothing like what you imagined, you’d never be able to look at him the same, no matter how good he is at his job. You’d either have to fire him or become so distant he’d want to quit. Would a bribe really have to be offered for the well-being of your precious company? The thought alone rubs you the wrong way.
But if you’re being honest with yourself, you just know it wouldn’t be a bad experience because it’s Johnny. He’s calculated and good at anything that gets thrown at him. You truly believe him when he says he’d never disappoint you. But how will you go about seeing him five days a week without seeing him in a different light? You’re professional but there would definitely be a change in your dynamic.
“I adore you as my assistant, John,” you finally speak up after too long. “And I do consider you a friend. I just don’t want to compromise our relationship over lust.”
“It’s not just lust, though,” Johnny states. “I’m not in love with you or anything but I care about you and want to take care of you the way we both know you need and deserve.”
He’s saying all of the right things and it’s almost as if the universe is rubbing him in your face. Your control is slipping and you don’t like it. You would love to be taken care of. You crave it. Running a business right before the age of thirty comes with so much stress and bullshit and you haven’t been taken care of in years, at least not properly. You’re content with being single because you give yourself everything you need and you love having your own space, but it does get lonely sometimes. And you can’t do everything yourself, at least not to the extent you need. Your eyes scan down from his face to his hands and your resolve gets a little weaker. 
“I’m not going to push you, okay? I just had to let you know that I’m here to help you in many more ways than in the office and that if anything were to ever happen, my lips are sealed. I’d even sign a damn contract if that meant I could have you for just one whole day.”
“A whole day?” you ask before you can stop your curiosity from being known. 
“I can’t elaborate on that. I can talk to you as a friend all I want but I know that too much detail can fuck up my job if you’re not down and I’m perfectly content with my job right now.”
He’s so vague, yet he’s said just the right amount. It’s easy to imagine what exactly could be in store if you release your inhibitions and just agree, but it’s not that easy. And Johnny understands that.
“Just think about it, alright?” He requests, and you nod slowly. “What drink would you like?”
“I’ve already had four shots—”
“No one said it had to be alcoholic,” Johnny laughs. 
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“Hello?” Johnny’s morning voice grumbles. 
“Okay.”
It’s quiet on the other end of the line for a while as Johnny wakes up and decodes your single word. When he understands, his smile can be heard through his next words.
“Would you prefer I go to you or you come here?”
“I’ll go to you.”
“How does noon sound?”
“Good,” you nod, even though he can’t see the movement.
“Alright. There’s a couple of questions I have before you come over, though,” he tells you, his voice suddenly a lot more serious than it was before.
“Okay, go ahead,” you sigh, curling into a ball on your sofa. 
“Do you trust me?”
“I do.” Of course you trust him. Johnny smiles at how quick your answer. “You know that.”
“Trusting me with your work and trusting me with your mind and body are completely different things,” he tells you matter-of-factly. “But yes, I did know. I just needed to ask.”
“I clearly trust you enough to be hours away from going to your place without thinking you’re gonna exploit or blackmail me.”
“And I appreciate it. As I said, I’ll sign a contract if you’re still in your head about it.” At the dismissive response you give him, he continues with his questions. “We’re not gonna be weird about this before, during, and especially after everything, right?”
“No, I won’t be weird,” you chuckle, knowing his ‘we’ translates to ‘you.’ “It would’ve took me way longer to give you an answer if I was still gonna be weird or standoffish.”
“What made you change your mind so quickly?”
You blink at the tree on the other side of your window blankly. It took less than a day to give him a response, and while he may have popped up in your dream last night, Joohyun was right. You want him and he’s not shy about letting you know how much he wants you in return, so why play this game of tiptoeing and faux unclarity?
“You’re asking too many questions now,” you deadpan. “I’ll see you later.”
The last thing you hear before you hang up is Johnny laughing quietly to himself, sounding endeared.
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You’ve always been punctual, so when you knock on his door, it’s twelve on the dot. And Johnny was expecting this, with it only taking him a couple of seconds to unlock and open the door for you. 
“Hey,” he greets you with a smile and you immediately take in his appearance, having never been around Johnny in anything but formal wear. You take in how he looks in the comfort of his own home, his brown hair is parted down the middle in comparison to how he always has it pushed back, and his fitted white tee shirt and joggers are a stark difference from the button-downs and slacks he usually adorns around you. He looks good either way, you note. 
“Hey.” 
You walk past him into his home and take your shoes off, and while pleasantries are exchanged, it’s Johnny’s turn to give you elevator eyes. The grey color of your athletic wear draws attention to the curve of your ass and hips. Your hair isn’t in its signature style, but out and flowing about freely. When you turn back around to face him he notices you don’t have your typical red lipstick on, just a clear sheen covering your lips. He didn’t think you could look any better, but here he is, being proven wrong. 
You’re guided down a hallway and into his room, and the first thing you notice is a cute stuffed animal on his dresser. One you remember buying him for his birthday because that was his only request, seeing that it was limited edition.
“I still can’t believe you wanted this of all things,” you laugh fondly, picking it up and examining it.
“You gave me a budget and this fit in it,” Johnny shrugs, coming up behind you. His chest molds into your back naturally, causing you to look up from the plushie and up at him through the mirror in front of you. “There was no way in hell I was coming out of pocket for that myself when you were willing to spend big bucks on me.”
You relax into his chest, the vibration against your back a very pleasant feeling. “Touché.”
The last few days of building sexual frustration did nothing to prepare you for the suffocating blanket of tension that envelopes you once Johnny lifts your head up to the side and presses one of the gentlest kisses to your lips. Followed by another chaste one, and another until you find yourself chasing his lips.
“Feel free to bite into it when it becomes too much for you,” Johnny graciously offers in a whisper that tickles your lips.
You scoff, amused by his confidence. 
“I’m a grown ass woman,” you remind him. “I promise you there’s nothing I couldn’t handle.”
“And I’m gonna hold you to that.” He nods, using your own words against you. You’re turned around by his hands on your hips until you’re facing him. A moment of silent eye contact translate to him challenging you before his pretty, soft lips slowly slide in time with yours. 
The longer he kisses you, the more your body melts into his. You find yourself being pulled forward, him walking backwards. The kiss interrupted when he sits down at the foot of his bed, but then you’re pulled onto his lap, straddling him to resume it. A hand on the side of his face prompts him to deepen the kiss, and your mouth instantly opens when you feel his tongue brush against your bottom lip, the wet muscle minty when it touches your own and you curl yours around it to get an even better taste. 
Your hands find his hair as his own grip your ass, pulling a muffled whimper out of you. And then you’re flipped onto your back, legs falling apart to give Johnny freedom to stand. He swiftly takes his shirt off and then he’s interrupted by your palms glide up his abdomen. You’ve never felt small around practically anyone in your adult years, but with how he hovers over you, you feel tiny. You know he and Jaehyun have been going to the gym frequently, but at this angle, you can really appreciate just how big and broad he is.
Originally, you figured you’d give him the reign to do whatever he wanted and you’d bask in being a pillow princess for once in your life, but in the position you’ve found yourself in, with his print in your face, you drag your hands back south and tug his waistband down. 
Johnny just watches you silently until he understands you’re doing more than just assisting him with stripping. Your hand grabs hold of his semi (your mouth waters at how hung he is and you briefly wonder how you never noticed before), his sweatpants forgotten halfway down his thighs. The way your eyes have tunnel vision and you lick your lips tells him your plan. “You wanna suck my dick?” he asks anyway, making sure he accessed this correctly. 
Your eyes fly up to meet his gaze. “Yeah. You want me to?”
“You think I’d ever say no to you?”
His response goes straight in between your legs, so you focus your attention back on his dick, which has grown some during the time of your small interaction, and you might be a little more excited about this than you initially thought you’d be. 
You let spit fall from your mouth onto his tip, then spread it down with your hand. You flick your wrist up and down a few times and lean forward, licking a broad stripe up his shaft. At the deep exhale he releases, you glance up at him through your lashes, and the sight of him with his jaw tightened in anticipation makes you want to give him so much more, so you suck the tip into your mouth. 
Fingers move your hair behind your ear for you and if you still had any inhibitions at this point, they’re lost now. Your head bobs back and forth slowly as you continue to look him in his eyes; it’s hard to look anywhere else when you’ve never been looked at so intensely in this position. You gather spit on the tip of your tongue and spread it across his head, circling the wet muscle around it until he hums and you need to feel the weight of him back inside. 
“Tap my leg, okay?”
You furrow your brows at his words, but your silent question is answered when there’s a hand on the back of your head and the tip of his dick hits the back of your throat lightly as if in warning before his hips pull back then he’s back in your throat. Your hands come up to his thighs as he sets a slow pace to fuck your face, and when his head falls back the moment he realizes he can go as far as he wants, you close your eyes and prepare for the onslaught you know you’re about to take.
Johnny’s hips instantly pick up speed and roughness, and while he’s still in control of himself, he loses a bit of sanity. After a year of silent pining and thinking this would never happen, he’s fucking his boss's face, and of course, of fucking course you don’t have a gag reflex. 
You stick your tongue out flat to lick at the bottom of his shaft as he does the rest of the work and the feeling of spit bubbling out the sides of your mouth and making its way down your chin digs your fingers into his skin since you can’t clench your thighs together. Your hair is gathered for extra leverage, and the pull of your scalp is such a delicious feeling you moan helplessly just when your nose comes in contact with trimmed hairs. 
“Shit,” he hisses, picking his head back up to watch as he slows back down but thrusts in rougher. You clearly enjoy being used like this, spit traveling down your chin to the point of landing on your jacket and darkening the material. You’re a mess in the best possible way, and this is an image that will haunt his memory for a very long time. 
More of his resolve crumbles at the feeling of your hands curling around to his butt to press him even closer into you, even further down your throat. You haven’t even been touched, barely kissed, but you’re lightheaded and extremely aroused. While he contemplates if he should cum down your throat or wait until he’s buried in your pussy, you’re silently hoping he lets you taste him soon. 
Johnny drags his dick out of your mouth at an extremely slow pace, and how you wrap your lips around him and open your hooded, darkened eyes to look at him again shoots a shiver of pleasure up his spine. 
“Never would’ve thought,” he says around an amused exhale.
“Hm?” you prompt, releasing him with a loud pop. 
“Nothing.” He shakes his head. He grips his dick with his free hand and taps the tip on your awaiting tongue, amused and extremely turned on. Smearing fluids over your tongue and lips, he softly demands: “Play with your pussy for me.”
The smile you give him is a concoction of wicked and endearing. He releases your hair as you manage to wiggle out of your leggings. You soaked through your lace and leggings, you both notice, and Johnny stops you with a disapproving hum when you make a move to remove your panties as well. You squint, he laughs and shakes his head. 
“Over your panties.” You roll your eyes but listen nonetheless, slipping your hand in between your thighs. The material is extremely wet to the touch, and the slickness helps with making the friction pleasurable when your fingertips find your clit and begin rubbing circles. “Slowly.”
Johnny finds your huff of frustration adorable.
The tip of his dick taps your mouth again to gain your attention. You suck spit up to the front of your mouth, then your mouth is stretched wide once again, hand back in your hair. 
Having your throat fucked with the additional pleasure on your clit, even with the slow pace you’re forced to go at, has you practically whining, the sound going in and out as he goes in and out your mouth. That vibration only spurs Johnny to grip your locks tighter and thrust in deeper to feel as much as your mouth and throat offer. 
“You were made for this, huh?” 
“Mhm,” you affirm, eyes rolling back at the way he pulls your hair to tip your head back and get a different, much better angle. 
Johnny honestly didn’t expect you to submit so easily to him. The visual of your face all messy, eyes hardly opened to look into his eyes and hair out of place while touching yourself sparks that feeling in his lower abdomen.
 “You want me to cum in your mouth?” You hum again and even with a mouth full of dick you manage to smile. You’re getting what you wanted. “Don’t swallow it until I tell you to.”
It takes a few more strokes for Johnny to fulfill your wish. The moment his head falls back again you use your free hand to caress his balls, and that does it. He leaves the tip in so that his cum pools onto your tongue and strokes every drop out. The groan he lets out causes you to unintentionally swipe at your clit faster, but he’s distracted anyway.
“Let me see,” Johnny says after collecting himself and stepping back. You straighten your head so none slides down your throat and open your mouth wider for his inspection. He smiles in approval, wishing he could take a picture of the sight before him. “Swallow.”
You lick your lips and wipe away all the spit that traveled outside of your mouth with the sleeve of your jacket after doing so.
Johnny completely removes his pants before he leans down to kiss you again. His tongue languidly licks against the seam of your mouth for an entrance that you grant instantly. While it curls around your own and he gets a taste of himself, Johnny’s hand guides you to bend one leg and he caresses your outer thigh.
“Good?” Johnny asks for extra measure, lips just barely dragging across your cheek to press opened mouth kisses on your jaw. Your head automatically tilts to the opposite side to give him more real estate. You hum, your mouth a bit preoccupied with how your teeth have trapped your bottom lip. 
Your breath stutters at the gentle scrape of his teeth along the length of your neck after he unzips the high neck of your top to expose more skin. Whichever scent you chose to put on today has Johnny latched onto your neck for a while, kissing, licking, nibbling the skin to the point of your breath coming out a lot louder than before and the seat on your underwear getting uncomfortably wetter. You’re throbbing at this point and not being touched enough, so you claw at his sides and call his name quietly.
Johnny eventually spreads your legs more and maneuvers himself in between them. Both of your legs bend at the knee to accommodate his large build in the middle of them, and the hand that isn’t keeping himself propped up by your head kneads your hip. 
“You know how long I’ve been wanting to get you like this?”
“How long?” you prompt, voice hardly above a whisper.
“Since the day you gave me a tour of the building,” he admits and slowly rises until he’s up on his knees. 
“That’s a long time,” you respond lamely, hardly caring when your pussy is practically screaming at you to be touched. He raises a brow, and when he looks back up at your face, your lip is back in between your teeth. 
If he doesn’t touch you soon you might explode.
“I’ve wanted this for a while, too,” you decide to confess, hoping it gets you somewhere. And it does. It’s almost like you’re rewarded for it by Johnny walking back on his knees until he’s far enough to settle on his stomach, face barely inches away from the apex of your thighs. He subconsciously licks his lips at the smell of you. He’s been wanting to taste you for so long now, but he refrains himself because he sees how you’re affected by the lack of attention to your heat. He promised he’d take care of you and that’s exactly what he’s going to do. But not before breaking you. 
“Wish you would’ve told me sooner,” he eventually tells you after having you hold your breath for way too long.
“You know I couldn’t.” The way Johnny looks at you, attentive to every word that comes out of your mouth while he smoothly scoops your legs over his shoulders to wrap his arms around your thighs, makes you continue speaking. “Seems like everything fell into place, though.”
Johnny nods, rests his head on one of your thighs, and looks up at you, brown eyes still watching your mouth intently, as he unhooks one of his arms to push your right leg further to the side. His fingers are soon on your center, gliding up and down your slit, bumping into your clit with each pass. 
“I guess it did.”
Before you can reply, he adds more pressure behind his touch, and your hips just barely lift to get even more. The smile you get in return is attractive as all hell but annoying. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you or he’s just really enjoying himself. Either way, you’re getting more impatient by the second, if the way your hips rise to grind your core against his fingers again says anything. 
“Stay still for me, okay?” You almost pout because you need more, but you promised to give him total control of the situation and you’ve done well thus far, so you press your ass back into his comforter. “There you go.”
Your pussy clenches around nothing.
The light pressure on your clit is soon gone and then the zipper of your jacket gets dragged down all the way. “Take this off for me.”
Sitting up, you do as told. You toss it where your leggings had been dropped and now you’re presented in front of the awe-struck brunet in just your matching set of underwear. You figured you’d wear something nice under your clothes, both for Johnny’s pleasure and for your confidence, and with how Johnny’s eyes settle on the way your breasts are trying to burst out of your snug lacy bra, you know you chose well.
A hand slides up your torso to grab one of your breasts and squeeze it. Somewhere in the midst of him fondling your chest and pressing teasing, yet promising kisses on your inner thighs your eyes drift shut again as you bask in the pleasure. One of your own hands comes up from your side to slide under the cup of your unoccupied tit and pull at your nipple. 
The tip of Johnny’s tongue drags dangerously close to your annoying-still-clothed heat and your patience is shot. 
“John…”
“Yes?” 
“I need more.”
He has the audacity to hum and give your clit a kitten lick. “Do you?”
You huff, stuck between just pushing his face into your pussy or doing what he asks of you, but you promised, so you suck in a breath and give him what he wants.
“John,” you say again, almost whining. 
He doesn’t say anything, just continues to look at you expectantly. And when too much time goes by, it somehow hits you what he wants from you and you groan quietly to yourself.
“Please.”
“That was very convincing,” Johnny snorts. His nose glides across the inside of your thigh like he’s got all the time in the world. It tickles in the best way, but it’s nothing but teasing and you’ve been stimulated enough that if you go more than a couple of seconds more without his mouth giving you direct pleasure, you’ll go insane. So with a great amount of willpower, you try again.
“Johnny,” you whine, giving him your best pout. Addressing him so informally feels foreign, but the way his eyes light up encourages you to keep going.“Please?”
And of course a big smile takes up half of his face and you mentally prepare yourself for what’s next to come. He peels your panties off, both of you watching the line of slick that stretches then breaks in the process, and when you spread your legs even more for him, his mouth salivates. 
Johnny makes sure you’re looking into his eyes as his tongue licks a wide stripe from your entrance to your clit. He wants to be smug at the gasp you let out, but the taste of you shuts his ego up quickly. 
You squeak when you’re suddenly flipped onto your stomach and your ass is lifted up into the air. With yet another broad lick to coat his taste buds with your essence, Johnny buries his face in your pussy. He uses the tip of his tongue to collect the puddle of wetness you’ve produced and smears it over your clit, soon digging  inside to directly stimulate the bundle of nerves. 
Johnny’s lips close around your clit and he sucks on it softly. As the moments pass he gradually sucks harder to the point of you not being able to fight the way your eyes flutter shut and hips push back. He’s nice about the movement, just grabbing your hips to keep you still, soon caressing and kneading. 
“Mm, that feels good,” you compliment. At that very moment, Johnny decides to roll his tongue in up and down motions and apply more pressure behind his hands. “Fuck, that feels so good.”
He prompts you with a hum of his own. 
With how your moans start to get louder and your breath gets quicker and harder, not to mention the tingles you feel building in intensity, you know you’re already close. It’s a beautiful yet frustrating feeling because you don’t want this to end so soon after waiting so long. But you also want him inside of you so bad now.
Johnny comes back up to circle your entrance, and then he goes even higher.
“Are you— fuck,” you groan deeply. 
Your hands grip the pillow your face is buried in and your eyes have found the back of your head again. Johnny just hums at the way you react, the octave of your voice as you let out your sounds of pleasure go straight to his dick. His tongue licks filthily up and down, not leaving an inch untouched nor missing a drop of your juice. His fingers rub your entrance until he slides one in. One becomes two after a few pumps, then his thumb presses into your clit and your back is arched almost uncomfortably.
“Johnny,” you whine again, breath hiccuped. 
“Yes?” he prompts, lifting his head and looking up to see your face peaking around your body, smushed into his pillow still. 
“I wanna cum,” you tell him. It feels too good now. “Fuck, I need to come, Johnny.”
“Then cum for me.” His voice is so gentle yet commanding as his digits speed up. He tongues the skin between your holes sloppily and you try to curl into yourself, your mouth wide opened with no sound coming out of it, your walls clenching madly around the fingers inside of you, and your grip on the cushion is borderline painful.
Johnny helps you ride out your orgasm for as long as possible until your body begins shuddering due to oversensitivity. He gradually slows down to a stop, then removes himself from your body to let you breathe correctly. While he sucks on his fingers, he uses his clean hands to soothingly rub your back, waiting for you to calm back down. 
You’re a bit dazed during the transition of more kissing that leads you on top of him, straddling him once again. You vaguely remember the caresses on your waist or the pinch of his fingers playing with your nipples, but the feeling of your bare pussy dragging against his dick is very memorable because it sparks a desperate need within you to sit on it. 
Johnny’s hands on your hips move you to continue the friction, moving you back and forth on his dick easily. Foreheads connected as you catch your breath from the kiss you just broke away from, the two of you watch silently as his head reappears and disappears behind your lips, turning you both on until he’s fully hard again and you can’t handle him not being inside of you anymore.
You lift up on your knees to align his tip with your entrance. A silent look is exchanged where you ask and he nods once. He lets you take your time, enjoying the feeling of his tip directly rubbing against your sopping entrance.
Your labored breaths at the sensation bring his attention to your chest, and his mouth wraps around a nipple without a thought. By now, you deem his dick wet enough to press his head in your hole and press your hips down. The moment he slides in your head falls back because the stretch burns in the best way. It feels like time doesn’t exist as you work your way down his length, inch by inch. Your hips naturally find a slow rhythm as you lift and drop them to take in more until he slides in and out easily. 
When your features no longer show discomfort, Johnny begins moving with you. Every time he lifts his hips up a little to meet your thrusts his body slumps down the headboard. His hands are loose on your waist as you move your body up and down and he’s got the perfect view of his dick going in and out of your core while you’re controlling the pace and intensity. The muscles in your thighs start to burn, so you slow down to a stop and carefully slide your way down until your clit comes in contact with his pubic bone, resulting in your eyes rolling back, hips grinding on their own accord. 
“How the fuck do you feel this good?” Johnny groans deeply, hands gripping your ass to assist your movements.
His compliment, his hungry, intense gaze as they take you in from your eyes—which mirror his own—down to the trail of slick you’ve left behind on his tamed curls from the swivel of your hips, and the way his cock rubs against your g-spot send you over the edge within moments. Johnny soothingly rubs a cheek with one hand while the other caresses your arched spine, keeping his hips still to let you ride your orgasm out on your own. 
You slump into him, head on his shoulder, panting against his neck. A sigh of content slips out when Johnny hugs you tightly against his broad chest right before asking, “You alright?”
“Great,” you reply breathlessly. 
Johnny smiles at the positive response. He lifts his hips experimentally and gauges your reaction, which is a satisfied hum. 
“You want more?” he asks, hands moving to your hips to carefully grind against him. How could you say no? “Hands and knees, baby.”
You begin climbing off to the side of him then he follows your lead and lifts himself up so you can settle on your knees and bend until your face slides onto his pillow. Your hands grab the sides of it in anticipation. 
A deep groan sounds from behind you, so you crane your neck and see the way he stares down at how he can see everything you have to offer him at this moment. One hand goes to his dick while the other massages one of your cheeks. He runs the swollen tip of his dick along your slit, collecting what’s oozed out. You close your eyes and relax the side of your face into the cushion beneath it and take a breath, preparing yourself for the stretch and intensity this angle never fails to bring.
He slowly starts to breach your entrance. There’s a pause, then you hear him spit down before more of him slips inside of you inch by inch with each roll of his hips. He keeps his movements shallow for a while and your walls reaccept him easily. A particular thrust sends him deep inside of you, his tip just barely kissing your cervix. Your body’s first instinct is to run away from it. His hands on your hips stop you from fleeing, holding you still and rubbing the skin there to ease you. 
“I won’t go too deep,” he tells you, hips still as he kisses up your spine and makes you dizzy by the tenderness of it all. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”
You nod at his promises and take another steadying breath, then the pleasurable friction is back. You’d believe anything he told you with that intoxicating voice of his. 
A loud, embarrassing squelch comes out of your core when he’s sheathed inside that makes you bury your face into the pillow. There’s one last kiss at the top of your spine before the body heat from his chest is gone and he’s back upright. He finds his rhythm easily, and hands return to your backside, fingers digging into the flesh, no doubt leaving behind white imprints. He uses his grip as leverage to fuck down into you at a different angle that allows him to speed up and rip an unrestrained moan from your throat. 
“You okay?”
You nod violently and sob, “Yes! Oh, my god, yes.”
Content, Johnny hums and you just know he’s grinning down at you by the sound of his voice when he asks: “Feels good?”
“So good,” you whine, unable to close your mouth or stop noises from coming out of it. You begin dropping your hips down to meet his thrusts, the loud smacks of skin against skin echoing and bouncing off of the walls of his room. “Fuck it feels so good, Johnny.”
“I know, baby” he groans. “And this pussy feels so fucking good—shit.”
The two of you get lost in the rhythm you’ve created and no more words are exchanged for a while, just the sound of groans that comes deep from Johnny’s throat and whines and pants that make you drool all while drying your throat out. The room has gotten increasingly hotter and your bodies now shine with a thin, sticky sheen that makes the back of your thighs stick to the front of his own every time he fucks back into you. Your sensitive nipples rub harshly against the sheets, stimulating you even further to the point of another sob ripping out of your throat and your walls fluttering around his girth. 
“I’m gonna cum,” you whimper. Your divulgence prompts him to reach his arm under you to graze his fingertips over your engorged clit and then you’re repeating your words over and over again until your actions meet your words and you’re cumming all over him. Your essence drips down the insides of your thighs and his balls and his thrusts create wetter, louder noises. A swivel of your hips causes his dick to pop out and suddenly your body is vibrating. 
“There you go, baby,” Johnny praises you, sliding back into you and precisely hitting that spot within you a few more times until your pussy clenches again and he pulls out again, letting more wetness spray the sheets under you. 
“Look at you,” he continues with a deep chuckle. “Making such a big mess.”
You don’t know if he really meant for you to look but your curiosity gets the best of you and you lift your head and look in between your legs. There’s a dark puddle on his sheets and another whine leaves your body, your head falling back into the pillow. 
“Can you handle more?” Johnny asks you softly, slapping the top of your asscheek with his dick. 
You need more. You don’t know what the hell Johnny has done to you and your body but you feel empty and not satisfied enough. Your core is raw at this point but you want nothing more than to feel the velvety skin of his thick, long dick sliding in and out of you and hitting every spot in you that makes your body convulse again. 
“Please,” you beg, wagging your hips to emphasize your needs. “Please, Johnny.”
“I’ve got you begging now?” He sounds so turned on yet taken aback, another dark laugh vibrating your body at the nod of your head and movement of your body. If you were in your right mind, you would be ashamed of your behavior and submission to your assistant, but you’re not. And who cares when you’ve never felt this way before and crave to feel even more?
“I need it,” you confess without shame. “Need you back inside of me.”
Johnny doesn’t need any more convincing to be back, deep within you and instantly satisfying you again. Your breath stutters and it’s not easy to speak in coherent sentences, but that doesn’t stop you from trying to voice your pleasure and appreciation to the brunet whose self-control only continues to dissolve the faster he slams into you and the higher your voice gets.
Both of your breath patterns get quicker, loud, more erratic, signaling the approach of his first release and your third? Fourth? You can’t keep up with it when your brain has turned into mush and you can barely remember your own name, only his own registering in your brain. His name rolls off of your tongue like a mantra, driving him insane behind you. 
“Where do you want me to cum?” he pants. It takes you too long to swallow in an attempt to lubricate your throat and answer him, Johnny humming in question impatiently. 
“My back,” you manage to squeak out. You’re impressed with the amount of control he has, the slamming of his hips into your ass somehow speeding up and getting rougher. Johnny lacks the control and precision from before, and the way his tip kisses your cervix rips a yell out of you, eyes watering as you hold on for dear life. He releases a drawn out groan from deep within, and not too long later you feel ropes of cum land on your lower back and ass.
Your body is shaking. Tears leak out of your eyes, your breath is hard to catch, and quiet cries come out. You’re gently flipped over and pulled into strong arms, quickly finding comfort in the chest you settle into. 
“You’re okay, baby,” Johnny’s soft voice says to you, but you can’t open your eyes or your mouth to acknowledge him. You’re confused about why you’re reacting to this, but you don’t dislike it. Especially when you have Johnny to soothe you and help you calm down. “Are you hurting anywhere?” 
You shake your head and finally try to respond, but it takes a couple of coughs and harsh swallows of spit to do so. “No. I feel good. Everywhere.”
Your speech is choppy, unlike your usual way of speaking, but stringing words into sentences that flow well is too much work right now. Johnny doesn’t mind; he loves that he had that effect on you after you’ve had him under your spell for so long. He loves the fact he successfully kept his promise to you and now you’re boneless in his arms. 
He reaches for the glass of water on his nightstand and hands it to you. “Are you ready for a bath?”
“Can I fall asleep in the bath?” you ask, wiping your face tiredly.
“Sure,” Johnny says softly before setting you down on the dry part of the bed. “I’ll come get you once it’s ready.”
That’s how the rest of the day plays out, you getting taken care of in multiple ways. Your favorite method is with his tongue and fingers as he made out with your pussy for what felt like hours in lieu of an apology for going so hard. And maybe Johnny purposely falls asleep next to you after you’re bathed, fed, and exhausted from coming, curled up into his side in the new sheets because he wants you to stay a little longer. There’s no way in hell he’ll ever get to see this side of you again after today.
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“Good morning,” Johnny greets you. It’s eight in the morning the following Monday, and he’s got your avocado toast and fruit in his hands as he walks up to your desk.
You're rummaging through your bag looking for the bobby pins you threw inside of it this morning in your rush to get to work on time because believe it or not, you overslept. You give up in favor of looking up to greet him back, but your voice decides not to come out when your eyes lock with his. There hadn’t been any contact since you woke up in the middle of the night and he walked you to his door with a lingering kiss that quite literally took your breath away to close out the short chapter of your relationship you’d just created. You were still tired, but you definitely were not supposed to sleep over, so it was nothing. 
But now, seeing the same eyes that stared into your own while you came and cried his name multiple times, all you can do is blink. And then he licks his pretty lips. You knew this would happen. You’re not mad at it, though. How could you be when you’d never experienced someone like him before? In hindsight, there was no possible way to go back to normal after the intimacy, tenderness, and raw attraction you shared that day. No possible way to never want another taste. 
“You okay?” he asks unsurely, setting your plates down. 
And here it comes.
“Johnny,” you say lowly, setting your bag down. The quirk in his brow and the corner of his mouth lets you know he’s onto you. And that just makes things easier for you. “Lock the door.”
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yikesssssss
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icollectyoursins · 3 years
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Jotaro Relationship Head Canons SFW
Because I’m a self indulgent little shit and just love to ignore all of the work I have to do, have some Jotaro head canons. I am but a humble simp, and love this man. So much.
Update as of writing this. Somehow, it got very angsty, so... yeah. Sad man vibes. Also rambly. I just kinda kept going.
Wanna know what I’m willing to write? Rules here!
Have a character, but no idea? Prompt list here!
Looking for more? Master post here!
WARNINGS: None, just angst, but nothing too serious.
Word Count: 2,985
Jotaro’s type is... I mean, it depends, like most people. I don’t think he’s super picky over appearances or things like that, it’s more whether or not he gets along with you and how long he can put up with you.  He’s polite (well, as polite as he can be) and courteous, but probably a little more apathetic when you’ve first met. Once you’ve been around for a while he’s more relaxed and almost a little more critical. Mostly because you’re his friend now and he expects more from his friends.
While I was writing this I sort of realized that he could be aromantic. Maybe it’s just my own aro tendencies coming through, but I thought it sort of lined up with his personality. Or at least from my experience with romantic attraction.
Eventually, though, he’ll admit he cares about you a little more than he cares about others. It comes through in little almost compliments. “You did good. Keep it up” or “good job, dealing with this” are common phrases that sound nice on the surface, but it almost feels like he’s trying to pressure you to do more, which is far from the truth.  
If it’s not awkward compliments like that, it’s awkward gifts. Always something you had briefly mentioned wanting or stared at a minute longer than you usually do, wrapped in a paper that’s your favourite colour or pattern. Sometimes, though, it’s something you’ve never mentioned that he somehow guessed would be something you wanted.
At the same time, though, he’s oblivious or at least acts like he is. There may be times when he goes home after you said something exceptionally sweet to him or that just means so much and he’ll just take a moment sitting at his desk to mull over what you said.
    With a grunt, Jotaro rolled back into the armchair with a cup of tea in one hand and today’s newspaper in the other, since he didn’t get to read it this morning. It’s late with the sun almost completely set, giving his room an orange hue. He tries reading the first column, something about a cat being saved from a sewer grate, but after about a minute, he catches himself drifting away, sort of staring blankly at the paper.
    He blinks hard, taking a long sip from his coffee. He must be tired. Another attempt is made at reading, this time the comics. They’re not his favourite thing, but short enough that he can focus on them. Or so he thought.
    He zones out again, face suddenly feeling very hot.
    He was thinking about you. Or, rather what you said.
    It was something so simple, so mundane.
    You had been talking about family together, exchanging drama, if you will, and he had brought up how his father had left his mother when he was very young. It didn’t bother him, he had said, after all, it was years ago and if he was being honest, he didn’t really need a father. Then, you gave him this look. It wasn’t pity or something like that. You put your hand on his knee, staring deep into his eyes.
    “Jotaro,” you said, voice soft and sweet. You struggled to say the next words, opening your mouth, sighing, then finally: “I’m not leaving you.”
    “Why would you be leaving?” He said, confused, taking it literally. Or, he pretended to be confused. It had made his heart warm with affection.
    What Jotaro hadn’t noticed at that moment was that his eyes seemed to gloss over with wet tears while talking about his father. He wasn’t over it, you understood that. How could he be? He was so young then, he probably didn’t understand what was happening or why and now that he’s a father himself, there had to be so much guilt about being the same way. It was only now that he was realizing how much you had an effect on him.
    It didn’t make him sad, by any means but... loved. He’ll say thank you tomorrow with a gift or some flowers. He hadn’t planned on meeting you for the rest of the week because he was busy, but work could wait, right? Yeah. Tomorrow.
God, it would take so long for him to get you to move in together. He’s so used to living on his own that I think he’s a little self-conscious about it. He’s not a slob by any means, but certainly a bachelor. I mean, he lived (assumedly) on his own from probably around or earlier than DiU right up until Stone Free, so it’s been a while and he’s certainly comfortable with his mess of clothes lying on the floor in the corner, but you won’t be. He cleans up before people come over, obviously, but how many times did he actually invite someone in?
When you start staying around more, he starts cleaning more, which makes him a little frustrated both coming to terms with liking someone enough that he’s actively cleaning for them once a week and also discovering that he’s a lot more gross than he thought. You would not believe how stained the counter was from coffee or how gross the filter was on the coffee maker. He takes his coffee very seriously. You begin to notice how clean everything is, well, how consistently clean everything is and it even starts to smell nicer, more floral and fresh. He bought a lavender air freshener. “It’s supposed to be calming,” he’ll say with a hint of annoyance. It’s not a bad smell to him, better than vanilla air fresheners, but it does give him a headache when he first sprays his place. You seem to like it though, so he’s willing to put up with it.
I honestly believe this man can cook, but nervous when cooking for other people. His food when he was a bachelor was good enough for him and I’m sure Holly would have shown him a lot too, but it’s not the best food. He definitely steps up his game when you’re over and even more so when you move in. He’s better with dishes that have pasta or noodles because it’s easy, but he’s not too bad behind the grill either.
When you guys finally live together, he tries to keep the cooking even, with you cooking some days and him doing the rest, but I honestly feel like unless you are a hazard in the kitchen, you would do most of it.
Jotaro would be like that with most things around the house partly because he doesn’t want you to do all the work if you don’t want to but he enjoys having a little more time to himself to either do work or... yeah, it’s just work. There are a few things that he’ll never make you do because it’s either too hard or he’s built up a routine of doing that thing a certain way and he’s convinced no one else will do it right. Like his laundry. He won’t let anyone else clean his clothes. He tried once and nothing dried right, he swears that his jacket is still damp to this day. You can fold his stuff or hang it up, but he’s running the washing machine and dryer. Also picky about how his office is cleaned.
If you asked and gave a legitimate reason for not doing a certain chore, he’ll do it, but be prepared with an excuse as to why you can’t wash the dishes or fold the laundry. He’s especially resistant if he’s working whether that be gathering information for the Speedwagon Foundation or editing his latest Marine Biology book.
Actually, can we just talk about how much this man hates folding laundry? It’s so pointless to him. Why fold it and put it into neat little piles when you’re just gonna rummage through the drawer and mess everything up? Sure, it looks nice, I guess, but not for long. He was for sure a floordrobe kind of guy, especially in his early years. He knows which ones are clean, it’s fine, just leave it. Of course, he would get better the longer you’re at his place, but still. It’s not that he’s lazy, he’s just busy and putting clothes away takes way too fucking long. (which, honestly, agreed.)
Date nights with Jotaro are... rare. I mean, you live with him, why would he want to go out and pay for something when he could do the same thing at home? They’re nice, of course, but it’s more common for him to take you out to dinner while you guys are on vacation or in a location other than home, because he doesn’t feel like cooking and it’s more special when you’re supposed to go out. Eventually, it clicks in that you are supposed to make each other feel special and will surprise you with an expensive dinner or a short cruise. If you suggest the aquarium he’ll think you’re just saying that because he’s into aquatic wildlife, but honestly doesn’t put up much of a fight and will answer any questions you or anyone else has about the fish.
He does enjoy a good relaxing movie (or documentary) night at home, though. It’s so nice to finally be finished work, settle into your super comfy couch and just chill until he gets tired. Even better when you’re lying on top of him with your head just under his chin. There’s something so soothing about smelling your perfume, shampoo, conditioner, cologne, etc. To just smell you so close to him and feel your weight. Aaah. So nice.
    The microwave beeps faintly from the kitchen signalling that popcorn was done. You trailed out soon after, tossing the bowl to mix around the butter. You smile sweetly at him, leaning down to plant a gentle kiss on Jotaro’s lips before settling into his lap, nestling your head just under his while stretching out your legs. His arm instinctively moves from the back of the couch to drape over your back, rubbing circles into it with his thumb.
    He sighs; relaxed, finally. He allows himself to kiss your forehead, closing his eyes for a moment, just basking in your comfort. When he opens his eyes, he pulls you closer to him, feeling your heart beat almost in time with his. It was moments like these that eased his panic of losing you. You were here in his arms, safe and sound and vice versa. He was safe in yours.
Yeah, he’s a little angsty. But, can you blame him? He’s getting better, though. With help, of course. With you being around so often (and being very adamant that you’re not going anywhere) he’s able to let go a little. He’s not perfect, by a long shot and progress is slow, but it’s the little things like these that makes you proud of how far he’s come.
PDA is common, but a little restricted. When you’re out together, Jotaro’ll always have his hand on your back or shoulder. Hand-holding isn’t really a thing for him, but he will make sure you know he’s there. He’ll kiss you in public, but it’s not nearly as intimate or special as when you’re at home. Still, it’s a sweet reminder that he loves you, seeing as words of affection aren’t really his thing.
I mean, he can express himself just fine, but he still gets a little nervous saying things like ‘I love you.’ It’s more along the lines of ‘I care about you.’ Or, well. “of course, I care about you. You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” Which... thanks. I think.
Kissing him is so nice, so you’re not too mad about him doing that instead of words. When Jotaro kisses you it’s full of a mix of emotions. Mostly caring, but on his rough days, there’s something else there. It could be worry or whatever the emotional equivalent of never letting you go is. You can always tell that he wants it to last a little bit longer. There’s something in the sad look in his eyes when he or you has to pull away. Sometimes he’s overly gentle like he’ll break you somehow, especially if you’re not a stand user or fighting-inclined (whether physical or otherwise). It’s not patronizing, or at least he tries not to be patronizing, he just prefers you safe.
    It started out simple enough. You and Jotaro were just sitting at the table, eating dinner when he got this... sinking sort of feeling. There was something in the silence between you that just sent his mind spiralling. Thoughts of you someday dying too soon for whatever reason or leaving him because he’s not there enough, stand users, car crashes, divorce. They all started to flood into his mind, fabricating that you would somehow be taken away from him.
    “Jotaro? Are you okay?” Your voice rings through; a bright light breaking the storm. He’s been staring at his plate for a while now, his eyes are dry and itchy. He looks at you and tries to say something, but the words don’t come. Is he okay?
    You stand up and walk over to him, cupping his face gently. You rub the dark circles under his eyes while kissing his forehead. Jotaro slowly wraps his arms around you, letting his face fall into your hands. You’re pulled into his lap after a few minutes, running your fingers through his hair next. Finally, he sighs, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
    “Thank you,” he mumbles and though you’re not quite sure why, you still say a quiet you’re welcome, silently soothing him through whatever happened.
If you couldn’t tell, he needs a lot of reassurance. Not so much words, but actions like the snippet above. I mean, he can be as strong as he wants but we all know he’s got some baggage and while he’s able to put it aside, for the most part, I think when you’re at home he’s just a little more vulnerable.
Now, onto happier things! If you like coffee or tea, he will always make you a cup in the morning. Jotaro is a very early riser except on the weekends, so he usually gets that done while reading or watching the news and when you come down, he’ll ask if you want breakfast then make it for you seeing as he’s more awake.
He loves coffee. So much. He might have a caffeine addiction, honestly. At all times of every day, you can see him with a black coffee in hand and a book or phone in the other. He will switch to decaf at some point, but you might have to switch it for him. He’s forgetful when he gets busy.
Sleeping in on the weekends is like heaven for him. The two nights (or more on holidays) that he gets a full nights rest, breakfast in bed and a warm soul to cuddle into. He’s usually big spoon with a hand just resting on your side, but please, for the love of god make him the little spoon once a week. Will never admit it or vocalize wanting it. He just grabs your hand and drapes it over him with a “good night” and then promptly passes out.
He’s a heavy sleeper but doesn’t sleep often. Once he’s out, there is nothing that could wake him up except the fire alarm or something like that. It just takes a while. Not because of trauma, but more just internal clock is delayed.
Not a bath guy, strictly showers ‘cause they’re quicker. Most of the time he’s in and out before you can invite him into yours. When you do he’s “reluctant” but showers with you are a favourite of his. He gets his hair washed for him (if he bends down), he can wash you. It’s great.
I don’t think he would want more kids. He’s getting older, busier and just doesn’t think he has the time to care for a baby, even with help. Plus, if they were anything like Joylne or god forbid him when he was younger, he might start greying sooner than he thought. Joylne is a great kid, but... she’s definitely got some of his defiance in him. One kid is fine.
He doesn’t really like pets either, hates when there’s fur on all the furniture. But, if you came home with a stray cat or two, he’s not gonna put up a fight if you say they’re not going to the pound. “Just as long as you take care of them yourself.”
You got him a betta fish once because Jotaro. Fish. Makes sense. He thought it was a little pointless at first. You can’t pet them or play fetch (not like he does those things anyway). All a fish does is sit there and look pretty. You were a little disappointed, but whatever, you’ll take care of it. Then he comes home one day with a 30-gallon tank, freshwater plants and fancy lighting to help them grow which he quietly sets up in the living room. He spent at least a half-hour deciding on where to put it.
A week later, after he’s pleased with how it looks and the tank has been cycled he puts in an order for more fish then lets your betta acclimate to the tank. “There, he’ll be happier in here. The idea of bettas not enjoying or panicking in larger tanks is a myth. He won’t be alone for long anyway. He also won’t kill everything in the tank.” Well, he hopes he won’t, each fish is different. Thankfully, the small school of tetras get along with your betta just fine. From then on, he’s in there once a week, cleaning everything, trimming the overgrowth. It is officially his tank.
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superhero--imagines · 3 years
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Etsy Store Here l Ko-Fi l Commission Info
Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here!/ Playlist Here!
* Alright so here are the facts as you know them
* Gojo’s a goddamn player and a homewrecker
* The boy probably has half of Tokyo after him
* Not that you can blame them, that pretty face had you fooled at first too
* The second fact, it that for whatever reason, Gojo Satoru has chosen to play house with a future hopeful sorcerer named Megumi Fushiguro
* Which, through forces outside your control, you have become involved with as well
* And the last fact, was that as soon as this no longer interested him or benefited him in any way, Gojo Satoru would abandon the situation entirely and act like it never happened
* So-
* “(Y/N/N), you look nice today, did you do something new with your hair?” Gojo sings
* - pray tell, why is the school prince is currently sitting on top of your desk, looking at you with those heart eyes
* “Oi what do you think you’re doing?” You ask, a vein threatening to pop on your forehead
* “I’m flirting with you~” he sings, only leaning closer with that all-too-pleased smile
* “I’m pretty sure this is bullying” you reply
* Ever since you’ve started pseudo-parenting Megumi and Tsumiki, Gojo’s been doing crap like this,
* Sometimes he tries to feed you at lunch,
* “Open wide (Y/N/N)~” He’ll sing as he holds out a piece of sushi towards you on some chopsticks
* Only for Megumi to eat it instead
* “Why do you look so sad papa, I thought you said I was your pride and joy”
* other times he’s holding doors open for you
* “Ah here let me-“
* You watch as he walks across from you and opens the door to a random void shrine
* You look at him before sighing and opening your own door to the library
* The other day you mentioned how you didn’t get to try the limited edition Sakura Pepsi and came back to your dorm with a bottle on your desk
* Which would be cute- if the bottle wasn’t half-empty with a note that he’d that said
* “Sorry, I got thirsty on the way back”
* Seriously he’s the worst- and yet,
* You turned away from Megumi and Gojo bickering, hoping he didn’t notice how flustered you were,
* you hid your laugh behind your hand as Gojo jogs to catch up with you, saying he was just trying to predict your needs-
* And you held the half-full bottle of Sakura Pepsi to your chest, keeping it on your window sill
* Because you love him-
* Even though you know he’s just doing all these things to entertain himself instead of out of genuine affection
* Even though these feeling will do nothing but hurt you
* You still love him
* He makes your life feel exciting and fun
* And more than that, underneath that moronic playboy exterior, is a gentle, lonely heart
* A heart that will run away as soon as it knows how you feel about it
* So you mask your budding feelings as best as you can
* Because the only thing you imagine is more painful than knowing your feelings won’t be returned-
* Is not having Gojo Satoru in your life at all
* So you do your best to pretend like nothing has changed
* You act just as indifferent as you always have-
* “Here-“ you push your dessert in Gojo’s direction. “You like sweets right?”
* His smile is so radiant you almost have to shield your eyes
* Well, mostly indifferent anyway
* Not that the self-absorbed moronic prince has seemed to notice anyway
* Too busy focusing on the scrumptious piece of cake in front of him
* Still Gojo isn’t one to be underestimated, he looks to you with a twinkle in his eyes
* “Let’s share it!”
* So far he’s tried twice to have an indirect kiss with you, and he’s missed twice
* He even threw away those chopsticks when Megumi ate that piece of sushi in frustration
* But you know what they say, third times the charm
* You look at Gojo with a raised eyebrow, gaze flicking between the cake and his face
* What, did he imbue some cursed energy so it would explode when you tried to take a bite
* “No thanks”
* Cue Gojo crying as he eats his cake
* He’s really been doing his best lately to earnestly pursue you
* But for some reason, you just don’t get it
* “I like you,” Gojo says as you’re walking side by side on your way back to the dorm after visiting Megumi
* You look back at him, and Gojo feels a blush start to fan across his face
* He finally did it! He finally confessed to you
* And his heart is drumming away in his chest
* You don’t seem to understand the monumental significance of what just occurred because what your mind heard was
* “I {really} like {teasing} you”
* You sigh, your heart skipped a beat, for a second you almost got your hopes up
* There’s no way lady killer Gojo Satoru would ever pick you to be one of his lovers, and if he did it would just be so you could be apart of his personal harem
* “Ok”
* And then you turn around and walk away
* Gojo can’t help but feel like this is retribution for all the times one of his romantic partners has said ‘I love you’
* And he responded with:
* “Why would you do that to yourself?”
* Or
* “Cool”
* At first he thinks it’s a straight-up rejection, but he figures out pretty fast that you just didn’t get it when you keep acting the same as you always have around him
* But don’t get it wrong babe, none of this deters Gojo in the slightest
* “Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask
* You’re both in the library, but only one of you is actually studying
* Gojo’s been staring at you with an oddly fixated gaze
* Honestly it’s got you feeling an uncomfortable heat spreading from your face to your neck
* “I’m not giving up you know”
* Giving up on what?!?
* What’s going on right now!!?
* But Gojo doesn’t offer any more insight choosing instead to finally bother reading the book in his hands
* What a weird guy
* You look down to your own book
* You feel the heat linger on your face and neck
* It’s because he’s always saying crap like that, that you’ve caught feelings for him
* Well whatever, everything fades right? Eventually, Gojo will probably lose interest in you-
* He’s part of a clan do you imagine they’ll find a nice girl from a respectable family for him to marry
* They’ll probably have a few kids who’ll be next in line to succeed him
* And by then he’ll be in such a prominent position that you’ll never see him again
* He’ll just be a memory
* Some boy you had a youthful unrequited love with
* The thought makes your heart clench but-
* “It’s for the best,” you tell yourself
* You’re going in completely opposite directions in life, you couldn’t possibly home for anything more than what you have
* After all your luck probably ran out the second you saw his face
* The most beautiful man you’ll ever see
* “I bet he would be one of those handsome grandpas when he gets older” you snort
* The kind that charms and flirts with young men and women just because he knows the effect he has on them.
* You still can’t believe you fell in love with someone like that
* “What a pain” you mumble to yourself, falling back on your bed
* You feel uncertain, afraid of the future even.
* Maybe a snack will help
* It’s the middle of the night, way past the time you were supposed to go to bed when you see him in the kitchen
* Great the last person you wanted to run into
* He’s just standing there in front of the fridge with the door open
* He hasn’t even turned around to say hi or anything
* “Oi Baka prince if you leave the door open like that every-“
* You stop mid-word, you only need one look at his face to know something is wrong
* It’s not all that uncommon for him to do something like this-
* See the thing is, Gojo knows he’s strong enough that he will get to choose when he dies- he’s not bound by the same pain the other sorcerers are, but-
* Well, he’s still going to die
* No matter how much he thinks he’s like god, no matter how powerful he is,
* He’s still going to die
* And growing up with the power he’s had and the mindset that he’s the strongest
* The realization can be pretty crippling
* He so afraid of the uncertainty that brings that most times he can’t move
* The worst part is it’s never when he’s actively thinking about death, or even when he’s on the job
* It’s always at times like this when he’s just woken up and is oddly hungry and he’ll remember
* “Oh, I’m going to die aren’t I?”
* And then it’s like he’s frozen solid
* What is it he usually tells the victims that enter his domain?
* “Funny how when you can do everything, you find you can’t do anything”
* Usually he manages to unfreeze after some unspecified amount of time, getting through it on his own
* But this time, when he finally escapes from the domain of his inner mind he’s covered in a layer of sweat just like always-
* But he’s not sure why he sprawled across the floor
* Not until his head shifts a little, only to see your face looming over him
* Omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg
* He’s resting his head in your lap!!!
* Honestly this has been a fantasy of his for a while, to have his head in your lap while looking at the cherry blossoms, and you feed him chocolates and a gentle wind caresses your face
* BUT NOT LIKE THIS
* “Feeling better?” You ask
* Gojo thinks he might combust, he moves to sit up but winces
* He’s got the worst headache, these little episodes of his do typically end with a migraine
* Your hand feels nice and cold as it rests against his forehead
* “Rest a little longer, we’re not in any hurry”
* Aaaaand now he’s screaming on the inside again
* “Sorry about this” he mumbles, and you can’t help but smile
* It’s oddly endearing to see a shy Gojo Satoru
* “I bet your lovers would kill me if they saw knew you were showing me such a cute side” you’re half-joking when you say it, but you’re also half-serious
* It gives your Ego a little boost to know you’ve seen a side of him that most of his lovers probably haven’t
* You doubt the mighty Gojo Satoru ever allows himself to be this vulnerable, not even while he’s in the throes of passion
* So that same earnest look on his face startles you
* “I don’t have any other lovers”
* You snort
* “Sure, and I definitely didn’t steal Geto’s pudding that he was saving”
* “I’m being serious”
* Gojo sighs, here he is feeling awfully vulnerable and you still seem denser than a rock
* Do you think he would let anyone other than you see him like this
* “When are you going to realize that if it’s not you then it’s just no good?”
* Your heart is drumming in your ears, and you wonder if he can hear it
* Your mind is telling you to pull back, that this is way too good to be true, that this will only hurt you,
* You should get away while you still have a chance
* But instead something in you persists and you say:
* “Why do you think that is”
* Gojo’s hand reaches up, twirling a strand of your hair around his finger, those clear blue eyes looking straight into yours
* Your breath stutters in your chest
* You always have been weak for those eyes
* His pink lips curl up into a smile
* “Because I love you”
* And before you know what you’re doing your bending down, pressing your lips against his
* “I love you too”
Bonus:
* “You can see through it right?” You ask
* Gojo fidgets with the blindfold, honestly he was hoping for a much kinkier reason than replacing his scuffed sunglasses when you gave him the blindfold
* “It’s a little darker, but that’s not a bad thing.”
* His hair is out of his face too which is nice
* But-
* “What’s with the sudden gift?”
* It’s not exactly out of character for you to get the people you care about something, but this seems a little outside of your usual MO
* “I just felt like it” You mumble
* Now that his eyes are covered up you think he might attract a little less attention, and all his former flings probably won’t be able to recognize him
* Your eyes drift to his uniform, even in the gross pantsuit you can still tell he’s got a pretty nice body,
* But you’ll have to adjust
* Gojo sees right through your nonchalant answer, smiling that wolfish grin
* “Aw was my sweetie scared I was going to leave them?” He coos, moving ever so close
* You only turn away your face
* Gojo only grins wider
* “Honey~ you should know by now if it’s not you then I’m not interested” he sings in your ear
506 notes · View notes
ncssian · 3 years
Text
A Favor: Part Twenty-Two
Nessian Modern AU
Masterlist
content warnings: secondhand embarrassment, i dont know how skiing works, poor editing, NSFW 🔥
***
To Nesta’s horror, Cassian was serious when he said he’d teach her how to ski. Nevermind the fact that it’s his birthday, and they should be having a lazy morning together filled with cuddles and breakfast in bed. Instead, they’ve been up since six in the morning without food or drink, just to shuffle around in the snow while Cassian repeats the same instructions over and over. By late morning, the rest of their group has gotten up and joined them at the beginner’s trail to be firsthand witnesses to Nesta’s humiliation.
She stares down at the blinding white slope before her and inhales a breath of frigid mountain air, trying to steel her nerves before she has to push off the ground and take flight.
Cassian sees her hesitation and sighs. “Come on, Nesta,” he urges. “It’s thirty feet to the bottom of the hill.”
“Why is it so steep?” she demands, even though she knows this is a practice hill. Toddlers in skis are shuffling around them, hand in hand with their parents.
“You’re not falling to the bottom,” Cassian says, growing impatient. “You’re gliding.”
He’s already shown her how to maneuver with skis a dozen times already, and Nesta can see that he doesn’t have another dozen times left in him. Unfortunately for him, Nesta’s own patience was used up hours ago. Her stomach pangs with hunger, and she has a pounding headache from the cold and lack of sleep.
“Oh, come on, Nesta,” Gwyn calls from behind her. She hops up and down in her snow boots like a cheerleader. “You can do it!”
Nesta does not want to do it. She looks down at the hill, then back at Cassian with pleading eyes—eyes that he can’t see under her ski goggles anyway.
“I can’t take this anymore,” Azriel mutters from somewhere. He picks up his ski poles and points to Emerie. “Ski lift?”
“Sure—” she starts to say, and then remembers that she’s here to support Nesta. “Not now,” she amends.
“Just go,” Cassian turns to tell them. “At least some of us will be having fun.” Nesta watches as he goes over to Emerie and Az to give advice on the trails, the same frustration from last night building in her chest.
Stupid ski trip. Stupid uninvited guests. Stupid birthday that Cassian isn’t even treating like a birthday.
Gritting her teeth, Nesta jabs her ski poles into the ground. She’ll conquer this hill, and then she’ll conquer the rest of the trail, and then she’ll take her skis and set them on fire.
With everyone briefly preoccupied and no eyes on her, Nesta pushes herself downhill. Her skis slip a little as she takes off but she readjusts her feet the way Cassian showed her, regaining control. She takes a deep breath, realizing the height isn’t as scary as she thought it would be. Testingly, she bends her knees and pushes herself farther, gaining speed.
“Oh, oh, look!” she hears Gwyn say from behind her. “She’s doing it!”
The voice breaks Nesta out of her precarious concentration, and she almost misses the kid right in front of her skiing at the pace of a turtle. Gasping, Nesta swerves at the last second to avoid running him over.
Her skis clack into each other and she feels her ankle twist, and then she’s down. Hard. Her face meets snow and her ski gear jabs into her body as she tumbles down the rest of the hill, until she finally meets flat ground and rolls to a painful stop.
Nesta only hears a dull roar in her ears as she slowly pushes herself upright. Ignoring alarmed looks from stray skiers around her, she reaches forward and unstraps one ski from her foot, then the other. Her goggles fall to the ground next. Once free, she stands up and walks away, ignoring the calls of her friends from the hilltop.
She walks until she loses sight of the trail and then the resort, until the flattened and trampled snow piles up into powdery mounds untouched by human presence. A cropping of towering evergreens appears before her, and she heads straight for the thicket without pausing.
Once safely entombed by the dark tree trunks and frosted branches, Nesta releases a breath and screams. Screams until the frustration and anger within her bluntens just a little.
The forest absorbs her fire and answers with silence.
“Better now?” Cassian’s voice comes from behind her.
Nesta whirls, ready to fling her next scream at him for having the nerve to follow her, but she only restrains herself because it’s his birthday. Guilt and humiliation nips at her; she shouldn’t be doing this on his birthday. “Leave me alone.” Her voice is raw from shrieking.
Cassian only takes a step closer to Nesta, eyeing her up and down. “You’re not hurt, right? ’Cause that would be embarrassing for you.”
Any edge that was taken off starts to build up again, and Nesta really doesn’t want to look at him right now. “Cassian—”
“Your face is turning red,” he suddenly gasps, pointing. “You should try yelling again, babe. I don’t think the entire resort heard you last time.”
Done with her boyfriend’s shit, Nesta releases a growl and rushes at him. He’s a lot closer than she realized, and in a blink she slams right into his broad chest and shoves him with all her might.
Cassian laughs, short and blunt, and pushes her right back. Her back hits hard-packed snow and then he’s on top of her, pinning her wrists loosely beside her head. Icy wetness seeps past the neck of her jacket.
“Do you want me to fucking bite you?” Nesta snarls, getting in Cassian’s face.
“Always,” he says without hesitation, pressing closer to her. “But first you gotta take a breather.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” she seethes back. At this rate, she really might bite him. She wants to see his smug face drop when he realizes he pushed her too far.
“You might have an aneurysm at this rate with your anger issues.” He pouts prettily. “Imagine how sad that would make me.”
“I DON’T HAVE ANGER ISSUES!” she shrieks.
Cassian barely blinks. Nesta breathes heavily in the ensuing silence, realizing how embarrassing this is for her. Yet she doesn’t know how to stop.
Closing her eyes, she drops her head to the ground and turns away. Wishing she could sink into the ground and vanish for a few minutes, at least until she gets herself under control again.
After a moment of quiet, she feels the back of Cassian’s fingers brush her neck. “I wondered where that spitfire girl went,” he says lowly. “She didn’t die. You just hid her very well.”
Nesta’s body doesn’t know whether to feel soothed or incited by the touch, the words. “Does it make you happy?” she breathes, her eyes still closed. “That she’s still there?”
“It would be murder if you ever got rid of her. Don’t you dare,” he threatens.
Nesta huffs a derisive laugh. It’s easy for him to say, when he isn’t the one that has to live with it. “I bet you’re enjoying this.”
“Only if you are.” He sounds completely genuine, and Nesta feels him pluck something out of her hair—likely a snowflake.
Realizing Cassian has long since released her wrists, she opens her eyes and stares at the column of his neck. She doesn’t see the regret and concern on his face when he says, “I ruined today, didn’t I?” She watches him swallow before he adds, “I’m sorry, Nes.”
“It’s your birthday,” she mutters, looking away. “You can do whatever you want.” Even if it’s spending the whole day skiing.
“You’re right about that.” His warm breath hits her nose, and now that Nesta’s head is somewhat clear, she can feel every place where his body settles into hers.
Before she can betray herself and forget how upset she was at him only a few minutes ago, Cassian pushes up and off of her. Frigid air replaces where he was just sprawled, and then he’s holding out a hand to Nesta. “We’re going back to our room,” he says, watching Nesta’s feet closely as he helps her stand. “You can ride on my back.”
“Why?” Nesta grumbles, brushing herself off. “I can walk fine.”
“You twisted your right ankle on the way down that hill, and you started limping as soon as you thought you were out of sight.” Cassian turns around and points at his back. “Get on while I’m being nice.”
That makes Nesta scoff, because he’s always nice, but she has little fight left today. She tries to reach up to wrap her arms around his neck, but Cassian grabs her legs and hitches her up onto his back before she can struggle.
She responds with a scowl, clasping her hands across his chest and getting comfortable. “You noticed I was hurt but didn’t have a problem with tackling me to the ground?”
Cassian squeezes her thighs and holds her closer, tossing a blinding smile over his shoulder. “Sorry if I wasn’t expecting you to try to jump me with an injured foot. You took me by surprise.”
“Bullshit,” Nesta says as they start walking out of the trees. “You did it on purpose.”
“Do you like starting fights, Archeron?”
“Do you?” she retorts.
They bicker back and forth like that until they reach the resort, and even once they’re inside the lobby, Cassian doesn’t put Nesta down. The exhaustion of the day has settled over the both of them by then, and the elevator ride up to the penthouse is peacefully quiet.
Back at the empty suite, Cassian carefully lowers Nesta to her feet. “Take your clothes off,” is all he says before heading for the bathroom, shedding his heavy outer jacket as he goes. Nesta has no problem listening; she’s all too happy to take her snow-drenched gear off and breathe air-conditioned air again.
She only realizes as she’s removing her boots that her overwrought emotions must have dulled the real pain of her fall. Her entire body aches down to the bone, and her twisted ankle has it the worst. Inspecting the swollen skin around her foot, she wonders if Cassian will make her see a doctor when the sound of a running faucet pulls her attention. Still dressed in her thermal underwear, Nesta pads over to the bathroom.
Inside, the room is dim, and the only light comes in from the single window panel at the far end of the room. Cassian sits on the rim of the clawfoot tub as it fills with heated water, already naked.
Nesta coughs, caught off guard. The sight is far from unfamiliar to her, and yet she hates to admit that she’ll never not react to it.
Cassian looks up at her, meeting her eyes head on, and a giggle almost escapes her.
“What’s that dumb look on your face?” he says with high brows. “Take your clothes off and get in.”
Nesta firmly schools her face into obedience. Is she a grown woman or a schoolgirl? she chides herself as she strips naked. But as soon as she’s free of her top and leggings, Cassian stops her. “Turn around,” he says.
Is this a sex thing? She hopes it’s a sex thing. She does as she’s told, and hears Cassian hiss in a breath. Glancing at the mirror over the sink, Nesta winces when she realizes what he sees. “Damn.” Her back is peppered with still-forming bruises from her fall, along with her legs and ribs.
Getting up, Cassian approaches her and cautiously runs his fingers over a reddened spot on her ribs. “I think a ski pole stabbed me there,” Nesta says, frowning down at the bruise. She looks like shit, and not at all in a desirable way.
“How’s your ankle?” Cassian kneels to check for himself, handling her like a porcelain doll. He presses gently above the bone where she twisted it. “Does that hurt?”
Nesta considers saying yes, just so he can keep fussing over her like this, but she shakes her head. “I’m fine. Just a little achy.”
A sudden chaste kiss between her legs makes her yelp, and she twists to find Cassian still on his knees, grinning sheepishly up at her. “You know what can help with those aches?”
Nesta blanks as Cassian runs a calloused hand up her inner leg. “Uh…really good dick?”
Cassian is visibly trying not to smile when he says, “A bath.” He stands and turns the faucet off, before going to help Nesta into the tub.
Steaming hot water just beneath the point of being uncomfortable hits Nesta’s calves, then her hips and chest. She might moan in relief as she sinks into the bath.
Cassian settles in across from her, taking up most of the tub space as Nesta twists her ponytail into a bun. He takes her ankle onto his lap and starts massaging above the injury. He notes, “We haven’t been alone like this in ages.”
“I remember when it was my job to be the chill guy,” he continues, rubbing circles into her leg. “I was the one doing stupid shit, and now I have to tell other people to knock it off when they do stupid shit. Since when did Azriel take my role?” he mutters to himself.
Nesta tilts her head against the lip of the tub and watches Cassian, taking in the barely visible lines of weariness on his face. She was once in a similar boat, too, where she had no one to answer to but herself. “Do you miss it?” she asks hesitantly. “Life before we got to know each other?” A life spent in the company of his friends, meeting different women every other week and being as free as possible.
“No,” he says easily. “I miss life before we had to share each other with other people.” He meets her eyes and smirks. “Who knew monogamy could be so exciting?”
Nesta’s stomach curls at his honesty, and she doesn’t know what to say. In the silence, Cassian reaches for a washcloth and lathers it with a bar of pine scented soap. But before he can reach for Nesta, she snatches the washcloth from him and pulls herself forward into the cradle of his limbs. What she can’t say, she’ll just have to show.
She starts soaping up his arms, granting extra attention to his tattooed biceps.
“You’re hurt—” he tries to protest.
“Shut up.” She runs the washcloth over his shoulders, across his collarbones.
When Nesta reaches his chest, she starts, “Earlier in the woods...I lost control.”
Cassian looks wary, but she goes on, “I don’t know why I did that. I thought I didn’t do that anymore.”
“I know why,” he says simply. “You were having a bad day. It was overwhelming.” He shrugs.
“But I’m better than that,” she insists. “You might think it's cute or funny when I—lose it, but I spent years training myself not to fall apart at the slightest inconvenience.” She takes in a breath, her movements slowing. “I learned how to escape reality, remember? I climbed into books and TV and songs, and at one point my entire life passed me by because I refused to participate in it. If I didn't participate, I couldn't be hurt.” She wrings out the washcloth, and Cassian carefully pries it out of her grip.
Nesta places her empty hands on her thighs, avoiding his touch, his eyes. “I think you were one of the only people who ever made me want to come back to real life,” she offers awkwardly. “That's why you made me uncomfortable at first. There were times I would look at you and think, He's better than anyone from the books. If I start living on the same plane as him, I can have him. Does that make sense?”
Cassian swallows visibly, but nods.
“It seemed like an impossible thing to do at the time—participate in the real world, make real friends. But have you noticed? I don’t read as many romance novels anymore.” Not because she doesn’t love them, but because she no longer needs them to remind herself she's alive.
She looks up at him, searching for his thoughts and opinions. Cassian looks like he's doing the same with her face, but then he says, “If you need to scream, even if it’s at me, tell me. I’ll take you somewhere far away, or I’ll let you have it out right in front of everyone. Whatever the hell you want, as long as you tell me. Please.”
Nesta starts to shake her head, adamant, but he stops her with the most pitiful look he's ever given her. “There’s nothing I hate seeing more than you trying to swallow down your rough edges. Even in the woods, you were about to tame yourself before I provoked you.” Cassian holds out a pinky, completely serious. “Consider it my birthday gift. Don’t do that shit anymore.”
Nesta stares at him, his plea warring with years of conditioned self-restraint. “I already got you a birthday gift,” she finally grumbles, but hooks his pinky with hers.
He seems satisfied, but doesn't let go of her pinky. With surprising strength, he uses their hooked fingers to pull Nesta into him, and she just barely catches herself on his chest before he brings her head down and kisses her deep.
Nesta already has her legs adjusted around his waist and his cock pressed against her stomach before she can pull away far enough to choke, “What’s this for?”
He leans up and catches her lips with his again, dipping his tongue just far enough inside to flick the roof of her mouth before retreating. “For existing. And for those aches.” He presses down lightly on a bruise at her back and runs a soothing thumb over it right after. Between her thighs, she feels him growing hard.
Nesta huffs a distracted laugh, the steam from the water sending a red flush up her chest and neck. It's suddenly very hot, and she unconsciously squirms in his lap. “I just realized I’ve never had sex in the bath before,” she says out of nowhere, rubbing her chest and quickly dropping her arms. She’s babbling, she knows. Contrary to popular media, being a seductress is harder than it looks. Half the time she has no idea what to say, and she considers herself lucky that Cassian is driven wild by it anyway.
Cassian entertains her, nodding along while his fingers slip past her ass, brushing her folds. “That sounds like something that should be amended, don’t you think?”
“Well, in terms of comfort I’m not sure if it’ll be better than the shower—” She’s cut off by a finger teasing at her entrance, making her jerk. “Yes,” she says quickly. “Yes, it should be amended.”
He hums thoughtfully, leaning in to nibble and suck at her neck. Her hardened nipples brush against his chest, and Nesta pushes closer into Cassian’s embrace. She’s half-rocking against him when she rasps, “How do you give head in the bath? Do I, like, have to hold my breath underwater?”
“You don’t need to know how,” he mutters, grasping her by the hips and tugging her up so that he’s eye level with her chest. He starts leaving a trail of openmouthed kisses across her breasts. “You’re not doing anything I don’t tell you to do today.”
“What do you mean?” Nesta’s grip on Cassian’s shoulders tightens when he brings a pink nipple into his mouth, sucking hard and pulling off with a flick of his tongue. She can’t move her hips for fear of climaxing at the slightest touch. “It’s your birthday,” she manages to get out. “And I like seeing what I can do to you.”
“Then save it for your birthday.” He pulls her back down firmly into his lap, making her thighs clench with restraint. “Because I like seeing what I do to you more.”
To prove his point, he parts her legs and slips one finger inside her. The smug pride on his face at what he finds makes Nesta move to grip the rim of the tub. Having a pretty boyfriend might have been a mistake, she thinks. That kind of face will get away with anything. Right now, for example.
“Tell me what you want, then,” she pleads.
Cassian leans back, pretending to think. “Sit on my cock,” he finally says.
An easy enough order, one Nesta is all too excited to carry out in only a few movements. It takes a minute to adjust to the fullness and the stretch, and the water doesn’t help in dousing the fire in her veins at all. With heat pounding deep in her core, Nesta releases a terse breath. Her tongue darts out to wet her lower lip, and Cassian watches.
“Now don’t move,” he orders.
“What?” Nesta’s knees involuntarily clench around his hips, her body already craving the feel of moving against him, on top of him.
He levels her with a look. “No clenching, no rocking, no touching.” He hisses in a thoughtful breath, combing a wet hand through his hair. “Actually, that isn’t very fair, is it?”
Nesta is about to nod furiously when he says, “You still need to wash yourself.” He hands her the washcloth she used on him earlier and leans his elbow on the rim of the tub. “Be quick about it. No games.”
Nesta’s eyes widen, looking at the washcloth, then back up at Cassian. Excitement tingles in her fingers and toes, and she doesn’t want to argue with him.
Gulping tightly, she soaps up the washcloth, then smooths the lather over her arms. It’s hard to focus on what she’s doing when there’s a pounding pressure between her legs, and the only thing that keeps her going is that she’ll be rewarded when she’s done. Cassian doesn’t bother watching her, instead tipping his head back against the tub and closing his eyes. From this angle, the tendons in his neck stand out clearly, and the hard line of his jaw looks tense. Nothing on his calm face reveals that Nesta is the reason for his tension, though.
Bringing the soapy cloth over her breasts, Nesta looks up to see if Cassian is secretly peeking at her through his lashes. His eyes remain shut, the perfect portrait of a man at rest.
Suddenly, his hips shift beneath hers, and Nesta nearly drops the washcloth. Straightening up, she has to use herculean strength to force her inner walls to relax around him. “You moved,” she accuses him.
“I was getting comfortable,” he says, still not opening his eyes.
“Why can you move but I can’t?”
That gets him to look at her. His eyes are hooded and lazy when he says, “You’re still talking?”
“Maybe if you had clearly explained the rules—” Nesta starts to grumble, but shuts up when he quirks a brow at her. She won’t lose this game, not for anything—even if she’s split at the seams with Cassian inside her and is one thread away from completely snapping.
Now fully alert, Cassian watches Nesta finish washing up. He hasn’t touched her once since he pulled her onto his cock, and now Nesta tries to make up for the aching lack by pretending her roaming hands are his.
It’s not until the washcloth reaches her tummy that Nesta pauses, her hand frozen over her lower abdomen. Because there, even past the cloth, she can feel him. The skin just slightly bulges, and she looks down at herself with her lips slightly fallen apart. She didn’t realize he was nestled so deep in her, but now she swallows past a lump in her throat. “Cassian…” she starts weakly. Every last muscle is trembling with the effort to stay still. Can he really be unaffected by all of this? Is she really the only one dying right now?
Without intending to, her hand drops the cloth, slipping toward her clit. She can only brush the sensitive nub before Cassian says quietly, “Don’t.”
So this is against the rules, too. She can’t even bring herself to look at him, she’s strung so tight. Taking a shallow breath, she grabs the pitcher from the shelf by the tub and fills it with water, using it to rinse off the suds. When she’s done, with water droplets running down every inch of her, she dares to look at Cassian again. Her anxiousness to get this over with must be written all over her face, and yet.
“Good,” Cassian says, voice just a little grated.
Nesta’s heart rate picks up a beat. She’s finally getting her reward.
“Now sit still and pretty while I rest,” he says, sinking even lower into the tub—and causing his cock to dig even deeper into Nesta. “This is a bath, not a splash pad.”
Nesta chokes. “What—I thought—”
“Hm?”
She presses her lips together tightly, refusing to protest. He can’t make her warm his cock like this forever, can he? Soon enough he’ll crack.
Four minutes in, and he doesn’t crack. While Nesta gets closer to crying by the second, she has yet to find evidence that he’s even aware of her presence. Her only proof is the fact that he’s still rock hard, occasionally twitching against the depths of her walls.
At five minutes in, Nesta can’t help it. She breaks, and her inner muscles clamp around Cassian with a viselike grip. She half-sobs in pain and relief, and her hips jerk of their own accord.
Cassian’s eyes fly open at that, the pupils blown wide, and Nesta has to catch herself on his chest to keep from crumbling. If she had half a working brain left, she would have noticed the trembling restraint that lines Cassian’s limbs, or the way his eyes burn with welling desire and even sympathy. Instead, she turns her face into his chest and begs weakly, “Pleasepleaseplease.” Her thighs keep shifting, rubbing back and forth to create friction, but she can’t give herself permission to move the way she truly needs until Cassian gives her permission.
Nesta feels Cassian’s broad hand come up to carefully brush her back. She nearly weeps with relief at the touch, but he doesn’t go any further. “What do you want, baby?” he says roughly.
“You,” she forces out. She doesn’t care if this is losing.
“Me, what?” He sounds like he’s about to lose, too.
“I want you to fuck me.” She’s nearly whimpering, trying not to squirm on his lap.
Cassian, the horrible bastard, has the nerve to snicker in her ear, though he sounds more than a little wrecked when he says, “Well, why didn’t you just say so?”
In a flash, he has Nesta pinned against the porcelain tub. And before she can decide whether to laugh or moan or cry at the turn of events, Cassian covers her mouth with his and thrusts into her, giving her everything she wants.
***
Hours later, after they’ve sated themselves on sex and food and Cassian is napping sprawled out across Nesta’s back, she receives a text from Azriel telling her he won’t be there to celebrate the rest of Cassian’s birthday.
Az: You two deserve the alone time. Also I didn’t get him a present.
Another text pops up before Nesta can reply.
Az: I did order a cake to be sent up to your room, though. Don’t worry, there’s not a picture of your boobs on it.
Nesta’s eyes widen at that, not knowing why—or how—that would be an option. But she completely forgot about getting cake in all the unexpected hassle of their vacation, and not for the first time is she grateful that Azriel came along with them on their trip.
Typing back a quick thank you, Nesta clicks her phone off and curls further into Cassian’s warmth. He shifts on top of her, hugging her closer, and a moment later she feels his nose poking at the crook of her neck. “Good morning,” he murmurs thickly, sleep coating his voice.
“It’s six p.m,” she snickers. The sun slipped behind the mountains just a few minutes ago, leaving the room a blue dark.
Cassian responds by slipping his hands under her oversized tee, rubbing the muscles along her back. “Where’s everyone else?” They haven’t seen Gwyn, Emerie, or Az in hours.
Nesta turns around in Cassian’s arms to face him. “Consider them gone. We’re by ourselves for the rest of the night.”
He perks up at that. “Really?”
A knock sounds from the penthouse door, and Nesta remembers Azriel’s text. She squirms out from under Cassian’s weight with some difficulty and stands off the bed. She points a stern finger at him. “Don’t move from here,” she orders. “I’ll be back.”
Cassian leans back, looking questioning and amused, but Nesta has already jammed her feet into slippers and left the room by then.
She accepts the covered platter from room service at the door and leaves a tip, before carrying the cake over to the coffee table in the living area and setting it down. Within ten minutes, she has an entire setup arranged: the fireplace is up and roaring, the fur throw she stole from Cassian’s couch to bring on vacation is spread out before it, and the cake candles are lit. The Italian dinner that she ordered earlier also arrives by then, and once everything is laid out, she calls for Cassian to come downstairs.
He’s fully dressed in a sweater and jeans when he appears at the top of the short set of stairs, and he looks so excited to see her that he doesn’t notice the cake or the dinner until he’s only a few steps away from her. Very slowly, his smile freezes. “What’s all this?”
“It’s your birthday,” Nesta says. “Duh.”
“But I thought we already celebrated,” he stumbles, looking around. “With the skiing, and the bathtub—”
Nesta makes a face. “You thought that was celebrating?” She shakes her head and beckons Cassian over to the fur throw, right before the table decked out with food.
He sits down beside Nesta, looking over her in nothing but her thin white shirt. “Are you cold? Do you want my sweater?”
She rolls her eyes as far back as they can go. “No, I want you to focus and make a wish before 6:27.”
“How do you know my birth time?”
“Will you do it or not?” she threatens. The candle wax is melting onto the cake.
Cassian stares at her for a moment longer before finally facing the cake. Closing his eyes, he mouths something unintelligible and blows the candles out.
Nesta claps softly. “Happy two years away from thirty. What did you wish for?” She leans closer.
He leans away. “It doesn’t come true if you go around announcing it.”
Nesta’s shoulders drop. “Wishes aren’t real, Cassian.”
“That’s what you say.” He swipes a dollop of chocolate frosting off the cake with his finger and holds it out to Nesta.
Smiling, she wraps her lips around his finger, scraping the chocolate off with her teeth and licking it clean. He sucks on the same finger when she’s done, chasing after her taste and the lingering frosting. “What do you want first?” he asks. “Dinner or dessert?”
“This.” Nesta pulls out a small box from under the table, placing it in front of Cassian. She didn’t have time to find wrapping paper or a bag, but she’s a bit proud of herself anyway.
Cassian once again looks taken by surprise. “You didn’t have to…” He trails off as he reaches for the box. It’s already obvious what it is, but he still opens it carefully, hesitantly.
He stares at the silver watch for a little while and then looks back up at Nesta. “I…” He clears his throat.
“What do you think?” In all honesty, Nesta already knows. But she needs to hear it from him.
He meets her eyes. “It’s so…normal. Do you know what I mean?”
It’s the type of gift that Nesta’s mother would have given to her father, the type of gift that wives would give to their husbands. Not necessarily original or thoughtful, but domestic.
“Since you like to spend your time thinking about taxes and minivans and stuff,” Nesta says, remembering their last conversation about the future, “I thought you’d like something normal.”
Cassian laughs at that. He takes the watch out of the box and turns it over in the firelight, still a little dumbstruck. “I love it,” he says roughly.
Nesta kicks him in the knee. “It’s a watch, not an engagement ring.”
But he doesn’t hear a word, already clasping it onto his wrist.
***
Their last day at the resort starts early with Gwyn, Emerie, and Az banging on the suite door at five in the morning. Though Cassian is already up by then, Nesta snarls and snaps like a bitch at being dragged out of bed to watch the sunrise.
With everyone’s bags packed and waiting at the door, they all gather on the balcony connected to the suite in content silence. Azriel nurses a thermos of coffee that he refuses to share with Cassian, and Nesta is wrapped up in that fur throw she loves, half-asleep against Emerie.
When the sky starts lightening, Cassian pulls Nesta away from Emerie and into his body. “You’re gonna miss it,” he murmurs onto the top of her head.
She blinks awake, looking out at the sky slowly being streaked with a dozen colors. From here, the view over the mountains and the quiet town some miles beneath the resort is breathtaking. Easily better than any sunrise Cassian could have shared with Nesta back home.
It’s beautiful, and in that moment he decides he wants to see even more beautiful places than this with Nesta. Someday.
“Pretty,” she yawns, tilting her head back against his chest. Cassian feels guilty for keeping her up so late the night before, but he’s not ashamed of how she rests in his arms right now.
After the sun climbs past the lowest peak, the group of them slowly but surely come more alive. Emerie asks Az to go inside with her and do a final check before they leave, and Nesta shakes both the blanket and Cassian’s arms off herself.
“Some coffee will wake you up,” he promises her, leaving her outside in the dewy morning air with a kiss on the temple.
When Cassian returns to the balcony with two freshly brewed cups, he finds Gwyn and Nesta in deep conversation. “I never apologized for crashing your weekend,” Gwyn is saying.
“You don’t need to,” Nesta responds, watching the world wake up below her.
“Still,” Gwyn says, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “I acted out of character, didn’t I?”
Nesta turns to her then, the sun haloing her face, and the look of understanding she wears makes Cassian take a step back inside.
“He does that to me,” Gwyn goes on, looking lost as ever. “I don’t know why he does that to me.”
“First love will do that to anyone,” Nesta says.
This isn’t a conversation Cassian should be overhearing, he realizes. Turning around with his coffees, he goes to find Emerie and Azriel instead.
In the living area, Emerie realizes at the last minute that she’s missing her phone charger. By the time she finds it, Nesta and Gwyn have rejoined the group.
Cassian hands Nesta her still-warm coffee with a warmer smile. “You ready to get out of here?”
“Hell yes, baby.” She slings an arm around his waist.
They barely make it to the resort lobby before Azriel and Gwyn start arguing over which route to take home.
“Why would you add an extra hour to your trip for no reason?” Azriel is saying.
“It’s none of your business!” Gwyn retorts.
“She’s scared of highways,” Emerie inserts.
While they bicker on the way to check out, Cassian finds Nesta’s hand and runs a finger down her palm. “Hey, Nes?”
“Hm?” She looks up at him.
He curls his fingers around hers. “Thank you for doing this.”
***
a/n: i cant keep posting chapters right before i sit down to cry in front of kdramas
tagging: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara @lanyjoy-13 @frosted-crackers @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad @dontgetsalmonella @champanheandluxxury @togreblog @arinbelle @ladygabrielli1997 @meridainthedisneyland @moodymelanist @pixieelea
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atlabeth · 3 years
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everything happens for a reason part 7 - zuko x fem!reader
I think my ways are wearing me down
part 6 | masterlist | part 8
a/n: as said very astutely in my outline, "y/n just keeps taking L's"
i actually had to take breaks while writing the final scene and watching the episode LMAo i forgot how fucking sad this scene was!!
warning(s): you know what happens in this chapter. its siege of the north part 2. its so much more angst like SO MUCH ANGST. im so sorry i got so sad while writing this
wc: 4.0k
chapter title comes from brand new city by mitski!
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Y/N adjusted her hold on the basket of clothes as she knocked on the door with her free hand, pushing it open after waiting a few moments.
“Prince Zuko?” she called in a whisper. They had gotten past the point of formalities, but it was a precaution she opted to take when they met like this. She spotted him sitting on his bed and he gave her a thumbs up, a sign she took to mean they were in the clear. Y/N closed the door behind her and bounded over, then set the basket on his bed.
“Alright. I brought you the book that you wanted to borrow.” She unearthed the novel from the pile of clothes with caution, taking care to not ruin the hard work that went into folding all of them. “I had to hide it so I could get in here — no one thinks anything of a servant bringing clothes around, but books are a little more suspicious. But here you go! My very own edition of ‘Keiko and the Koalaotter’.”
“Thank you!” The prince grinned as he took the book and examined the cover. “I’ve always been curious about Water Tribe culture, even more after you started teaching me about it. They don’t really tell us about it in our classes.”
“It’s not really accurate to actual Water Tribe stuff, but it is cute,” she laughed. “I remember begging my parents for a koalaotter for weeks after I finished it. They told me that there was no way to get one all the way in the Earth Kingdom, but I never listened to them.”
“Oh, that reminds me!” His eyes lit up as he ran over to the windowsill. “I got you a gift too!”
“Zuko, really? You shouldn’t have.”
“Well, I did. So don’t even think about not accepting it,” he joked. He picked something up from a vase and bounded back over, doing as good a job of hiding the flowers behind his back as his excited grin.
“What is it?” she questioned.
“They’re silver wisterias!” he exclaimed as he presented the bouquet. “They grow in the palace gardens. They’re really pretty, and so are you, and I know how much you love the gardens, so I thought you’d like it.”
She felt her cheeks heat up when she accepted the gift, twirling the stem in her fingers as she inhaled its sweet scent with a smile. “That’s really thoughtful of you, Zuko. Thank you.”
“Of course! You could wear one in your hair, pin one onto your uniform, put them in your room, whatever you want.”
As she carefully ran her fingers over the petals, she couldn’t stop the nagging question at the back of her mind from escaping.
“Why are you so nice to me?” she blurted out, causing Zuko’s brows to furrow in confusion.
“Because you’re my friend. Friends are nice to each other.”
“I know, but why are we friends?” she pushed. “You know that you could get in trouble for talking to me like this, but you still do it. Why?”
He pondered the question for a moment before he answered. “Well.. you don’t treat me like everyone else. I’m the prince, so everyone here has to do what I want and be nice to me. But you’re not like that. When it’s just the two of us, you treat me like anyone else, and I like that — I know that you always mean what you say, so when you’re nice to me I know it’s because you like me, not because you have to be. Why do you do that?” the prince asked as he turned the tables. “You know that you could get in trouble for talking to me like this, but you still do it. Why?”
She punched him playfully on the shoulder and giggled. “Someone’s gotta keep you humble.”
His cheeks flushed a bright red as he rubbed his arm shyly. “I’m really glad we’re friends. Sometimes it feels like you’re my only one in this whole nation.”
“So am I,” she beamed. “Always and forever, right?”
“Right.”
-
Y/N’s eyes snapped open and she gasped, immediately whipping her head around frantically to see if the Avatar was still there, but Katara shook her head.
“He’s gone,” Katara said miserably, confirming her suspicions. “I woke up a few minutes before you and I checked everywhere.”
“Great,” she muttered. She rubbed the back of her head and winced — she had a feeling she would be plagued by headaches for at least the next couple of days.
“So…” Katara began. “You and Zuko both recognized each other. He— he said he thought that you were dead.”
Y/N pursed her lips, wondering how to start that story, when Sokka and Yue burst into the oasis on Appa.
“What happened?” he questioned. “Where’s Zuko?”
“He took Aang,” Katara mourned. “He took him right out from under me.”
“It’s not your fault, Katara,” Y/N insisted. “It really looks like he’s improved since… since last time.”
“‘Last time’?” Sokka asked, prompting a sigh from Y/N. She looked to Yue for help, and the princess nodded supportively.
“We have… history.” She looked at her hands for a moment before continuing. “I’m not from the Northern Water Tribe. My mother is, but I was born in a small village in the Earth Kingdom. I told you that my village was invaded, Katara, but after it, my mother and I were captured for being waterbenders, and they took us to the Fire Nation to work as healers and servants in the palace.”
“I became friends with Zuko there. He was nothing like you saw today, or like anything you know from the past. He was kind, and caring, and passionate, and he made my dismal life a little bit brighter. And… we ended up falling for each other.”
“We went too far, the Fire Lord found out, and— well, he was going to kill me. My mother managed to get me out, but she stayed behind, and I haven’t seen her since that night. I haven’t seen Zuko since that night. I always held hope that I would find my way back and see them both again, but now that Zuko is like… like that?” She bit down on her lip and shook her head.
“Now I don’t know what to think. He’s completely different than anything I knew, than the boy that I fell in love with. And I can’t help but think about what happened to my mother if that is what happened to Zuko.” And I can’t help but think that it’s my fault for not being there for him.
A collective silence hung in the air for just a moment before Sokka broke it. “You had a thing with Zuko?”
Y/N let out a surprised laugh as Katara hit him on the shoulder. “Sokka, now is not the time!”
“No,” she chuckled. “No, it’s alright. It’s a lot, I know. It’s just… impossible. That the Zuko I knew turned into someone like this. I mean, you saw, Katara— he didn’t even hesitate to try and hurt me.”
Katara pulled her into a warm embrace before separating and looking her in the eyes. “I’m sorry, Y/N, for all that you’ve been through. And I know that fighting against Zuko hurts, so if you can’t come after Aang with us then I completely understand—”
“No,” she said once more, something hardening in her eyes. “I’ll help you find Aang, it’s the least I can do. Besides, I… I have to see him again. I have to see him again to know that this is actually real, that— that this is actually who he is now.”
Katara nodded solemnly; Sokka had already started walking back to Appa with Yue. “Well, Zuko couldn’t have gotten far. We’ll find him — Aang’s gonna be fine.”
Katara looked back hopefully at Y/N and she met her eyes with a smile, though slightly strained, as she jogged to catch up with them. But as she climbed onto Appa with her fellow waterbender, the anger in his eyes was all she could see.
The boy she fought might’ve been the Fire Prince, but it was not her Zuko.
-
Cold.
That was all Zuko seemed to know as he trekked through the frozen tundra, the blizzard around him threatening to end him at any moment. No more had he despised the Water Tribes than he did in this moment, but the weight of the Avatar on his back and the promise of his honor was enough to push him onwards.
The only thing on his mind that he couldn’t shake was her.
Zuko thought she was dead, honestly and truly. Few were lucky enough to escape his father’s wrath once it was incurred upon them — Zuko himself wasn’t even an exception — and though he wanted nothing more than for her to be one of the few, he knew that she was dead. There was no other explanation.
For years, the waterbender had been a staple in his mind — a memory of a childhood love, of a better time. He thought about her when he fought against his soldiers on slow evenings on the ship, her words of encouragement and joking retorts echoing through his ears as he went through every form. He thought about her when he talked to his uncle, his attitude often mirroring hers. The morning of the Agni Kai, he almost turned to her for reassurance before remembering.
Spirits, Zuko thought about her every time he looked at the water. And even all these years after her disappearance, he was still plagued by nightmares of her fate.
He had resigned himself to mourning her. Zuko truly thought she was dead.
But there she was, in the flesh, with the Avatar and his friends. Breathing. Alive. His enemy.
How the fuck was he supposed to deal with that?
She was even more beautiful than he remembered, but it was obvious the years since her escape had weathered her. He noticed a certain emptiness in her eyes, the brightness from their childhood a distant memory. It was obvious she had grown — she carried a certain elegance that he didn’t remember, and her skill in waterbending had improved so much since the days of their sparring sessions.
It felt like he had betrayed her. The expression she wore after his first blast was like a physical weight, the guilt of broken promises heavy over his head when he struck the final blow. So familiar to their friendly fights, yet such a far cry.
But they weren’t kids anymore. She had changed, and so had he.
It had been years. Any feelings he still harbored for her didn’t matter anymore.
Zuko had a mission, and he was going to complete it no matter what.
-
The tundra was treacherous, the blizzard making it difficult to see anything at all. Y/N had taken to holding Yue’s hand, something the princess had offered when she had seen how restless her friend was, as well as gnawing on the bottom of her lip. She feared for both Zuko and Aang, and she could only hope that they would be able to find them before something happened to either of them.
“Don’t worry,” the princess reassured. “Prince Zuko can’t be getting too far in this weather.”
“I’m not worried they’ll get away in the blizzard,” Katara murmured. “I’m worried that they won’t.”
“They’re not gonna die in this blizzard,” Sokka said as he gripped the reins tighter. “If we know anything, it’s that Zuko never gives up.”
Y/N chuckled softly and nodded. “You’ve got that right.”
Yue gave her hand a squeeze and a small smile, a sentiment that Y/N returned as Sokka continued. “They’ll survive, and we’ll find them.”
It took a few more minutes of riding and searching, but eventually a bright blue light streaked through the air. Katara gasped and pointed up. “Look!” she exclaimed. “That’s gotta be Aang! Yip yip!”
Appa groaned once more and Sokka turned to follow the light — it had stopped in a small cove before glowing brilliantly then disappearing — and sure enough, Zuko and Aang were down in the snow.
“Appa!” he cheered as they landed, causing Zuko’s eyes to flick up too. Y/N met his gaze for just a moment before he broke it, throwing Aang to the side and easing into a bending stance as Katara slid off of Appa’s back.
“Here for a rematch?” Zuko challenged, the undeserved confidence he spoke with a glimpse of the past.
“Trust me, Zuko,” Katara countered as she raised her hands, “It’s not going to be much of a match.”
She blocked his fire blast then sent a current of snow at him, launching him up into the air on a frozen column before letting him fall to the ground and knocking him out. Y/N couldn’t help but wince, and as Sokka jumped down to free Aang, she slid down as well.
She ran over the pile of snow and bent it off of Zuko, then knelt down next to him and pulled off her glove. She put two fingers on his neck and confirmed what she already thought, but it was still a relief. He was alive, but he wouldn’t be for much longer if he stayed out here.
“What are you doing?” she heard Sokka yell. Y/N turned to find everyone back on Appa already, staring expectantly at her.
“We can’t leave him!” Y/N protested.
“Sure we can!” he countered. “Now come on, let’s go!”
“No,” she insisted, pressing the back of her hand against his forehead. It was ice cold. “If we leave him, he’ll die!”
“She’s right.” Aang airbended himself off of Appa and helped her pick up Zuko; Aang bringing himself and the prince back onto the bison with his element and Y/N climbing back up with a hand from Katara.
Sokka rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Yeah, this makes a lot of sense. Let’s bring the guy who’s constantly trying to kill us.”
Y/N ignored the remark and met Aang’s eyes, mouthing a silent ‘thank you’. He smiled and nodded, then grabbed the reins and took off.
As they flew through the sky, Y/N glanced down at Zuko. He looked so much more peaceful now than a few moments ago, his features relaxed rather than tense. It was strange seeing him like this after all these years; angry, scarred, changed. Nothing like the reunion she had imagined.
She bent some of the snow falling down into water and molded it over the cuts on his face, the element taking on a slight glow as she started to heal him.
“Oh, Zuko,” she murmured. “What happened in those four years?”
As if her concentration had broken, the water previously under her control lost both its shape and glow as it pooled on his face. She frowned and attempted to bend it off, but none of the usual power she felt at night was flowing through her veins.
It was at that moment that Y/N looked up and noticed her surroundings.
Everything was cloaked in a veil of red, a crimson moon their backdrop as they continued through the air. “My bending isn’t working,” Y/N muttered, earning a curious look from Katara.
And to make matters worse, Yue winced and held her head, Aang doing the same.
“Are you okay?” Sokka questioned as he reached out to comfort her.
“I feel faint,” she muttered, the effort it took not lost on Y/N.
“I feel it too.” Aang pressed his palm against the side of his head and grimaced as his gaze shifted upwards. “The Moon Spirit is in trouble.”
Y/N’s eyes widened immediately as they flicked towards Yue, the princess choosing not to meet them as she began to tell them all the story of her birth and how she owed the Moon Spirit her life. By the time she was done the Water Tribe siblings were staring at her with disbelief, but there was no time for questions as they flew into the Spirit Oasis.
The sight that awaited them shocked Y/N to her core. A Fire Nation admiral — one she recognized from all the years ago, yet unable to place a name — held a bag with one clenched fist, the other posing the unsaid threat.
“Don’t bother,” he spat in response to their fighting stances, the two words overflowing with unearned confidence. But as cocky as he may have been, it worked — he knew that they were rendered helpless when he held the possibility of a dying spirit against them.
“Zhao, don’t.” Aang dropped his staff and held his hands up in surrender, an action Y/N and the others mirrored.
Everything after that happened unbelievably quickly. After General Iroh — a man she knew as both the ruthless general that laid siege to Ba Sing Se for six hundred long days and Zuko’s surprisingly kind uncle — threatened the admiral with his own firebending, Y/N foolishly believed it to be the end once he let the fish back into the pond.
But any hopes of peace were dashed with the slice of firebending the admiral sent at Tui, plunging the world back into shades of grey just as quickly as it had returned.
“NO!”
A bloodcurdling scream rang in the air; Y/N thought whoever produced it must’ve been insane. It took her a moment to realize the strangled sound had come from her, and that Sokka’s grip on her arms was the only thing stopping her from foolishly throwing herself into the raging battle that had started.
Did the admiral not understand what he had just done? To attack any spirit was to inflict the rage of many others, to kill a spirit was to sign not only one's own death warrant, but those around him as well.
To kill the Moon Spirit meant to destroy waterbending as the world knew it. To kill the Moon Spirit meant to disrupt the balance of the world. To kill the Moon Spirit meant to kill Yue.
The admiral should’ve considered himself very lucky that her waterbending was gone. With it, Y/N knew she would’ve done something she would regret.
As soon as the flames of Iroh’s onslaught disappeared, Sokka’s grip loosened on her arms and she all but sprinted over to the pond. A choked sob fell from her lips when she saw the dead fish in the water, palpable horror in the air as the rest of the group joined her.
Not even Aang’s feat of merging with the Ocean Spirit could help — it might’ve saved the tribe from the attack on the Fire Nation, but it could do nothing for the dead spirit. Y/N watched on mournfully as Iroh placed Tui back into the pond, the mortal body of the fish laying there unmoving.
“It’s too late,” Katara lamented. “It’s dead.”
Iroh looked up and met Y/N’s eyes, recognition flashing through them for just a moment before they moved to Yue’s. The blue hues of her irises were even more striking than usual — they were the only sign of color in the world around them.
His own widened with surprise as he gestured at her. “You have been touched by the Moon Spirit. Some of its life is in you.”
Yue seemed to understand what he was saying as she raised her head, her features taking on a mask of stoicism. “Yes, you’re right. It gave me life… maybe I can give it back.”
It was as if lightning had struck Y/N, the way that fear was jolted into her heart. “No!” she cried at the same time as Sokka, a reprise of her earlier plea. “Yue, you can’t!”
“You don’t have to do that!” Sokka reached out for her hand but she wrenched it out of his grasp — nothing they could say was going to change her mind.
“It’s my duty.” The princess stated it so plainly, carving the letters on her headstone herself.
“I won’t let you!” Sokka insisted. “Your father told me to protect you.”
“Yue, your duty isn’t to die for your tribe!” Y/N cried. She couldn’t think, spirits she could barely breathe. She couldn’t go through this again. She couldn’t go through this again. “Please, there has to be another way!”
She smiled sadly at Y/N and shook her head. “This was what I was born to do.” The princess glanced at the pond then took a step forward, wrapping Y/N in the tightest hug she could muster. She pressed her lips against Y/N’s cheek in a feather light kiss before she pulled away and continued forward and placed her hands against the koi fish.
The fish began to glow, Yue closed her eyes, she collapsed into Sokka’s arms.
And that was it.
The color returned to the world, but Y/N was frozen in place. She couldn’t do anything to save her friend, the girl that she was pretty sure she loved, as she died in front of her. Her cheek was still burning from where Yue’s lips had touched, and she wanted to bottle that warmth because she knew that was the last time she would ever feel it.
The first tear to fall snapped her out of her paralysis as she fell to her knees next to Sokka, her body cradled in his arms as he mourned for a lost love. Y/N wanted to scream, she wanted to sob, she wanted to do anything to get this anger and sadness out but she could do nothing but stare, eyes wide and shimmering with unshed tears.
Her body slowly faded away, and Y/N could’ve laughed at the irony. Yue gave her life for the spirits and all they could leave them with was the fleeting memory.
The fish in Iroh’s hands began to glow and he placed it back in the water, and almost immediately it returned to its natural rhythm. The oasis took on the glow of the fish and it formed the cruelest joke of them all.
Princess Yue. She was ethereal, both her hair and white dress flowing down her back and a peaceful expression on her face. She was more beautiful than ever, and her voice echoed through the oasis as she spoke.
“I will always be with you, Y/N. Thank you for making me feel alive.” A small smile, much like the one she gave her just moments ago, played on her lips. “I love you.”
Y/N could do nothing but stare, awestruck and heartbroken, as she whispered something to Sokka and kissed him.
And then she was gone.
Her gaze was trained forward, tears spouting and falling down her cheeks, some dim part of her still hoping that it was just a cruel joke by the spirits. She couldn’t go through this again.
How could they do this to her again? How could they introduce a light into her life and make her fall in love, then wrench it away from her grasp? She felt selfish for only caring about herself. She couldn’t go through this again.
Yue was gone.
She couldn’t go through this again.
Another strangled sob fell from her lips and Katara pulled her into a hug. That simple motion seemed to open to the floodgates, and suddenly she was choking on her own tears. Katara’s arms around her were the only tether she had to the world right now, she had to focus on it or else she would lose herself to the grief.
It felt like the minutes were hours with how long it took until Y/N was finally able to walk out of the oasis, but Katara and Sokka stayed by her side the entire time. When they finally stumbled out into the real world, Y/N felt weaker than ever. The constant go go go of the siege had finally caught up to her, and she was so damn tired.
“Always and forever.”
“You’re stuck with me.”
She was losing hope in promises.
-
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