Ever thought that “Vampire” by Olivia Rodrigo sounds a whole lot like Keefe Sencen talking about his mom?
Yeah so did me and @kale-of-the-forbidden-cities hence this parody was born!
ALSO I got a YouTube channel!!
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“when you play go, you pursue your desires in silence. you seduce, and you fall. you strip each other bare. and if your partner doesn't reciprocate, then it's just a game of go.”
go as an overarching symbol throughout the glory, both figuratively as a representation of dongeun’s revenge, and also as a metaphor for class and relations (between her and the men in her life, i.e. yeojeong and doyeong).
on a relational level, go is a game of seduction. it’s a mental sword dance, so to speak. dongeun learns it with revenge in mind - she plans to catch the interest of doyeong, the husband of the girl who destroyed her life. she uses go to approach him - she seduces him the very first time he sees her play, so much that he can’t get her out of his head. she uses go to entice him; she wins before he even knows that he’s playing.
dongeun learns go for the purposes of ensnaring doyeong, but it’s yeojeong who first teaches her go at all. and it’s go that becomes a cornerstone of their burgeoning relationship as well. throughout the seasons, go helps both of them, as something that centers them, tethers them to current life. for yeojeong, his sessions mentoring dongeun in go were the only thing that created a schedule for him in his most turbulent time (after his father died, etc.). it becomes their mode of communication - he asks her to make a play so that he can know she came by. a silent way of saying i’m alive.
and then there’s dongeun approaching doyeong to play go, then them meeting again at the park he designed. yeojeong also approaches doyeong to play go, also purposefully - the man who taught dongeun vs the man she learned to play for.
but for dongeun, go is never about the men so much as it is about herself. go becomes something she loves for what it is, a game that builds territories, a game where the enemy can be slowly and methodically destroyed as you take all their territories, like how she plans to take everything from yeonjin. it reminds her of the dreams of being an architect she had before she had to drop out of school from the bullying/assault.
doyeong says that one of his go teachers tells him that he was born holding the black stones. when dongeun plays with yeojeong for the first time, she says she has to start with the white stones, since she’s the beginner. that’s how they play, for months. when doyeong meets dongeun after finding out the beginnings of the truth, he says that this game is more difficult than the ones he’s played in the past (and she beats him, the first time they play prior to that meeting).
the black stones represent the upper hand, the wealthy. it’s a class metaphor, especially when related to doyeong. yeojeong also starts out with the black stones, maybe because of wealth, maybe because he’s learned it for far longer. maybe because life was kinder to him. dongeun starts at the bottom, with the white stones, because she has nothing and knows nothing.
but when she places her first stones on the go board, she plays with the black.
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usaba maquillaje cuando salíamos
porque pensé que te gustaría más
si me veía como las chicas que te gustaron antes,
traté demasiado ser todo lo que te gusta
solo para que dijeras que no eres del tipo que hace cumplidos.
sabía como te gustaba el café
y me aprendí tus canciones favoritas,
leí tantos libros de autoayuda
para que pensaras que era inteligente;
idiota, emocional y obsesiva
pequeña yo.
sabía desde el principio que así sería exacto como te irías:
encontrarías a alguien más interesante
y al segundo me dejarías,
dejándome llorando y preguntándome que hice mal,
porque decías que nunca estaba satisfecha
pero no creo que eso sea cierto,
porque todo lo que siempre quise
fue ser suficiente para ti.
tal vez no soy tan interesante
como la otras chicas con las que estuviste antes,
pero dios, no te pude haber importado menos;
te amaba tanto.
me gustaría decir que me rompiste el corazón
pero creo que rompiste más que eso,
y ahora no quiero tu simpatía
solo me quiero a mí misma de regreso.
¿no crees que te amé demasiado como para ser usada y descartada?
¿no crees que te amé demasiado como para decir que no te merezco?
¿no crees que te amé demasiado como para decir que fue mi culpa?
y no me digas que lo lamentas,
lamentate por ti,
porque algún día seré todo para una persona
y esa persona pensará que soy tan interesante,
y tú serás quien se quede llorando.
dijiste que nunca estoy satisfecha,
pero no creo que sea cierto,
ese eras tú, no yo.
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New CTB Music (2023 Update)
It's that time of year where I get to tell you all about some choice songs for CTB that I found (check the 2021 and 2022 posts).
Just like last time, I'll keep this to music that hasn't come up yet on this blog.
Letter to an Old Poet - boygenius
You're not special, you're evil
You don't get to tell me to calm down
You made me feel like an equal
But I'm better than you
And you should know that by now
Miner’s Canary - Vanessa Carlton
A sentinel so sensitive
You have to lose me just to feel the state you're in
You're bound to darkness
A miner's canary
Eat Your Young - Hozier
Come and get some
Skinnin' the children for a war drum
Puttin' food on the table sellin' bombs and guns
It's quicker and easier to eat your young
Without Love - LMYK
And I kept holding on to the power and lost
My freedom
I guess I had to learn, there is no freedom
Without love
Motion Sickness - Phoebe Bridgers
I hate you for what you did
And I miss you like a little kid
July - Noah Cyrus
So tell me to leave
I'll pack my bags, get on the road
Find someone that loves you
Better than I do, darling, I know
'Cause you remind me every day
I'm not enough, but I still stay
Strangers - Ethel Cain
I tried to be good, am I no good?
Am I no good? Am I no good?
With my memory restricted to a Polaroid in evidence
I just wanted to be yours, can I be yours?
Can I be yours? Just tell me I'm yours
If I'm turning in your stomach and I'm making you feel sick
Family Tree (Intro) - Ethel Cain
Jesus can always reject his father
But he cannot escape his mother's blood
He'll scream and try to wash it off of his fingers
But he'll never escape what he's made up of
Just One Yesterday - Fallout Boy
If heaven's grief brings hell's rain
Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday
I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way
Still I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday
How Can I Make It Okay? - Wolf Alice
How can I make it okay?
I just want you to be happy
[...]
Nothing else is as important as that to me
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