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beomnoullitheorem · 25 days

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“An Oral On A Day”

𖥔 Non-idol AU — Boyfie!Beomgyu × Girlfie!Reader

𖥔 Appetizer — Beomgyu wants you now and you're busy. However when he gets his way with you, and you end up leaving him to want your pussy's attention. It's a smut with no plot and shitty appetizer (T^T).

𖥔 Disclaimer — This is PURE FICTION : Nothing in this work aligns with the idols' character, moral and their real life. The characters are all legal adults (18+) and everything happening around & to them is entirely consensual. Readers are humbly advised to read the contains and disclaimer before they read.

𖥔 Contains — NSFW content : Smut so, MDNI! Dominant!Reader, Submissive!Beomgyu, a little of rough gyu too, Handjob, Teasing, Degradation, Begging kink, Oral, Punk boyfriend gyu actually? I don't know but these pictures I'm the header made me wanna write this down. I'm so down for that first pic if you don't know but fuck! This man will compell me to do anything.

𖥔 Word Count — 1.3k+ (drabble not drabbling)

𖥔 Author's Note — I explored my writing and wrote an oral for the first time so don't expect any accuracy about it. However, I tried my best in 20-25 minutes to write this and hope everyone likes it. It has a shitty ending by the way because I didnt know how to end it. And don't even ask why that's a title. I don't know myself.

"Speaking of attention," Beomgyu coughs. "I think you barely give me any."

Beomgyu who's now leaning the frame of the door of your balcony, peaks a few glances at you who's doing the laundry. Having one of the most playful expression on his face, he looks at the sides and you. And you do sneak glances too.

Oh. He is beautiful. He looks so good. But if you could trail your gaze down his face to his pants, a huge tent is erected and you clearly understand the attention he is talking about. It wouldn't be bad watching him beg for mercy or permission to cum, again. Though both of you were at it, the whole night.

"Barely give you any?" you question his statement. "That's such a sick joke, Gyu."

You get him to look at you, again and aren't you such a creation? Doing the laundry in broad daylight, sweating a bit and yet seem so hot and alluring? Yeah, apparently that's exactly why your horny boyfriend craves your attention.

He nags more and you chose to ignore him yet and go inside, wipe off your sweat, wash your hands & face and you go to the bedroom the both of you shared.

He needs to come to straight and ask for what he wants. That's what you've taught him the times you've fucked him. Let's see if your boyfriend has taken notes.

Beomgyu leans at the doorframe awaiting your presence as if he knew, that's where you will be coming to and that's where the both of you always end up.

"I asked you something." Beomgyu stops your passage through the door. "I need you to fuck me."

Ah. That's exactly it. "But I barely give you any attention, don't I Beomie?"

"Exactly," Beomgyu supports your not-supposed-to-be-a-statement question.

Beomgyu wastes no time and pulls you in his hold as he places not so chaste, wet kisses onto your neck earning soft gasps from you. As he slowly guides to the bed, he seats himself as he cups your cheeks and kisses your lips. You sit upon his erection, onto his lap as you move a bit and he moans in excitement already.

Your lips reciprocate all his kisses with exact passion he is showering into them; as they part themselves and let Beomgyu explore your mouth. You do kiss him badly as your pussy clenched for of course no reason or that's what you say as you know deep down, you ache for his cock and he knows it.

Uh but his erection does need attention and if you are giving it, how are you proving him any wrong? Not that you care as long as both of you enjoy it. He whines as he grinds into you for a bit; precum drops already starting leak out his desperate cock which twitched for your attention.

"Y/n, please," Beomgyu pleads as he breaks up with your lips. "Do something about my cock."

Your heartbroken lips come up with a reply soon, "What do I do?" As you ogle up at his half open eyes, already so thirsty.

His movements that just eat up any kind of stimulation, his gasping mouth and sweating face, holy fuck he's ethereal.

He is completely down for it. As you slide yourself down and part his legs, pulling his black shorts down, you find his trunks so tight from a erection thats so impatient & a wet patch too.

You tsk as you degrade, "So desperate and yet act demanding. What a spoiled brat."

He feels so hot to the point that finding you kneel down and part his legs, makes him wanna thrust so bad into your mouth. His heartbeat picked up its pace and his straight-thinking twisted into completely making him crave your anything.

His eyes grow hot and his minds swims in the ocean all vast of your only thoughts as he begs, "I w-want your mouth. On my cock."

His barely audible voice that sentence his want, not exactly a plea as you cock your head up, "You know the magic word. Say it and I'm all in your service baby."

Your pussy drenches and your heart starts its palpitations in exhilaration. This is exactly how he is down for you and you love it so so bad. Hell, you're obsessed with this side of your boyfriend. Yes, you pulls his trunks down and trail down your fingers at his gagging length.

It twitches so actively at your touch and bestows you so many of your boyfriend's whines. Fuck. So hot. You palm his cock and he hiccups a surprised moan at your sudden grab.

"F-fuck princess. Just like that!"

Didn't he ask for your mouth? Fine let him beg for it again. "You like it Beomie? How do you like it?" You ask him fondly because you don't let him speak as your hands start moving up and down on his cock, making him throw his head back.

His cocks grows hot and so does his face, his ears turning red and strings of saliva make themselves visible from his parted lips. Your hand not exactly letting him speak as he finds himself uttering so much Incoherent ramblings instead of actual words. He nods instead and throws his head up again as your other hands starts teasing his leaking tip.

That gets him off the edge as he grows louder with his groans, "w-want more." As his hands fall limp at the stimulation you provide him and finds it hard to sit up straight.

You speed your pace, and watch him fall apart on your hands.

"What did you say, Beomie? Be clear."

Your hands doing the work and failing all his possible functioning organs that let him find the right words to ask for what he wanted, he somehow utters his request. "Y-your mouth, Princess. Please."

Please. Exactly. Yes. "Good boy," You praise him as that forms a smile on his face. Giving him no time to figure what's coming up next and practically mining out surprised moans is what you always liked to do and you still do, as you hitched your mouth to his tip to which the said man loses his wits and utters numerous lewd fucks.

You giggle having his cock in your mouth sending waves of your sound which builds his edge as one of his hands finds a way to your head and buries it in your hair. Your mouth is sunk down at his length, taking it completely in it as you find it hard to breath for a moment. He overwhelms you just in right amounts.

Moving your head up and down using that, extracting all the possible stimulation from your mouth, Beomgyu gets lost in ecstasy. Yes, this is what he wanted and fuck he wants so much more that his hands move your head faster than you have expected.

His cock hitting your throat really does wonders down there. It makes you think of how good it would feel again, to have him rut into your aching pussy and hit all your favorite spots which makes you quicken your pace on bobbing at his cock which has him whining a lots.

You look up at and find him sweating buckets, drooling at the pleasure & really really lewd. Fuck, Choi Beomgyu. Fuck you.

You lick at his cock in a few times as that loosens his tight grip at your hair and you bob at his cock, lips choking his length at every oscillation, you blow him like he always wants.

In no time his whines become coherent as he says, "I'm close princess." And you slow down to tease him. Your movements do not deliver any pleasure but a lots of teasing. He notices it and his hand that was actually massaging your scalp until now, tightened into a fist that bobbed your head down and how horny are you that you let your pathetic boyfriend fuck your mouth like its a cocksleeve of his.

And did he chase his orgasm so badly that he fills your mouth with delicacies of his sweet semen as he heaves in exhaustion. You glare at him and wipe your mouth. Not exactly frustrated because you liked it when he was rough and you move away. He grabs you palm as he shoots you a beaming smile on his face which does make you happy but you don't show him that.

"Where are you going?" Beomgyu asks he is dumbstruck. Shouldn't you like undress and fuck your pussy on his cock? "No more?"

"But I barely give you any attention Beomie," You sarcastically retort to the man. "I'm going to continue chores."

"You did give me attention now but your pussy didn't," Beomgyu persists. "Come on, let's fuck."

He gets up and gets jumpy in excitement and desperation. And you'll have to dissapoint him now. You free your hands from his hold and move away. Because, that is for later.

—THE END.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 25 days

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AITA for banning a minor from a discord server?

I'm pretty sure I'm nta, since most of the server backed me up, but I am also autistic and would like some impartial judgement. I (23M) am the mod of a fairly small (~40 people) discord server. The server is focused around a character we all like, and frequently includes discussion, art, and fic related to this character, various ships, and 18+ content ranging from tame fluffy smut to much darker, dead-dove type content (largely because the original source material is pretty dark). For this reason this server is strictly 18+. We don't really have specific 18+ channels, and a few of the artists in the server are primarily NSFW artists.

I only became the (sole) mod about 3 months ago, when the previous mod/admin (who started the server) didn't have time anymore. For the most part things are very chill- I've never had to deal with any conflicts before this, the worst problems I've had are trying to keep the bots running and channels organized.

The youngest member of our server is (we thought) 18, the next youngest being 20. I recently found out through a series of screenshots that the youngest member is actually 17, turning 18 in about six months. I asked them about this in dms, since the screenshots were from their priv account on twitter (of them jokingly bragging about getting away with telling people they were 18 when they weren't). (and regardless of whether or not this was true, I wanted to let them know if someone on their priv was taking and spreading screenshots).

They got very upset at the screenshots being leaked (which is fair) but also confirmed that they were 17. I said that I was going to have to ban them from the server due to the NSFW content and they got very upset, saying I was infantilizing them etc. They also briefly tried to backtrack and say that they were just joking about being 17 and were actually 18, but stopped when i didnt believe them. I explained it wasn't about maturity-- imho if they are mature enough to handle the source material, they're mature enough to be in the server- but rather that there are potential legal repercussions for having a minor in a NSFW space. I even said that, while I was upset about them lying, I would even be open to letting them rejoin the server after they turned 18 (AFAIK they weren't lying about their bday, they just said they were a year older than they actually are to get into 18+ spaces).

They were really angry about this so I put it to the server for a vote and to let everyone know what was happening. Honestly I don't know what I would have done if the server voted to keep them in, but they voted almost unanimously to ban them at least until they were 18. I'm not on twitter anymore but I know that several of the people on there also blocked them from their accounts (since they posted 18+ art, fic, etc).

Other relevant info:

- this person didn't actually post any art or fic that was outright explicit, but they definitely participated in NSFW discussions (all fandom related, nothing related to personal lives).

- they were added to the server by the original admin--she apparently had no idea they were underage and also blocked them from her twt account.

The younger person is really upset at me and has sent me multiple angry paragraphs in dms about how I was ruining their fandom experience, discriminating against them just because they were a minor, and said that this wouldn't be an issue if we weren't all so porn-addicted. I half jokingly replied that I'm not sure how the last one could be an issue for me personally, given that I'm asexual, which they then said was problematic for implying ace people couldn't watch porn (???). I stopped replying since I didn't know how to respond and they have sent me some more messages in the same vein (I'm bullying them, all of their online friends hate them because of me, etc).

Kind of unrelated, but I don't actually know who on their priv took the original screenshots- they have ~80 followers on there, none of whom are in the server as far as I can tell. The person who sent me the pics is someone in the server, who said she got it from someone who is actually on the priv account (because she posts 18+ art and the person who took the SSs wanted to let her know that a minor was following her).

Why I may be TA: I do genuinely think this person is mature enough to handle the discussions we were having (except for the recent string of angry DMs, they've been very chill and level headed), I banned them because of legality, not morality. I also wouldn't have known about this if it wasn't for the daisy chain of screenshots that were unknowingly taken from their priv account, which idk seems like an invasion of privacy to me.

I did also tell the server all of this so they'd know why I was kicking this person, and then several people in the server posted about it on twt which apparently got the 17yo blocked from a bunch of accounts. I do feel bad and understand why they're upset- but I can't knowingly allow a minor to access 18+ content since that is legitimately illegal and could really fuck up my life.

Anyways, hopefully that all makes sense, sorry for the silly petty chronically online drama but still. To anticipate what most people will comment-- yes, I will go outside and touch grass-- but AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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tiredrobin · 5 months

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referring to my last post im too lazy to like. explain the premise in detail so the basic idea is danny and damian twins thing, danielle/dani clone is the same age as danny, she has his memories but not all of them and jumbled and fragmented and messy and it fucks with her a lot. and danny also. now theyre triplets in the way where damian has obviously no memories of dani but she remembers him and its SO MESSY and emotionally difficult for all of them because dani is 100% danny's sister but not damian's. heres a non-specific ficlet thing i tamped out because this au is stuck in my fucking head but i dont know enough to write it because i dont care abt dc stuff. thanks for understanding

also. theyre literally all transgender. because i said so. this is a legal requirement for this au. vlad switched the chromosomes to make a more stable clone but dani was like "...no, im a girl actually". danny and dani joke about switching bodies all the time. damian and danny didn't know they were trans until after they separated, damian still doesnt know danny is because he thinks danny is dead, danny does know Now because damians a wayne and is in the news and danny recognized him evn tho no one but damian's family knows hes transmasc. also danny is transmasc in the agender kind of way. nothing can fucking stop me

vague context: sometimes dani quizzes danny on his/sorta-their past, bcuz her memories are so weird and jumbled and it helps to hear the truth evn when she cant actually remember it.

cw: brief mention of an adult being creepy towards children

"Okay," Dani says, and Danny pretends he isn't fervently praying she'll shut up.

"Okay," he echoes after a long moment, prompting. Somehow, the wariness doesn't leak into his voice.

"Third coach tried to kill us—you," she says.

'Third coach' means Danny and Damian's third trainer. Dani uses words pretty strangely, sometimes. Her language has a habit of slipping into something more rudimentary, simplified, like she's a toddler.

She's a year and seven months old. Her grasp on language is, in Danny's personal opinion, remarkable.

"That happened, yes," Danny says when he realizes he'd been quiet too long. He's starting to drag. These conversations are exhausting in a way he can never articulate, not even to Dani, but there'd be no reason to because he knows she gets it. From the way she's listing to her side in the air, the imbalance fucking with her physics enough that she's starting to drift very subtly to the left, she's worn thin.

"… Why?" she asks after a long pause. "He seemed nice."

Danny focuses in on the thrum of her core. It's in near-perfect resonance with his own, which used to be so deeply disturbing it made his skin crawl but now feels soothing. It's a balm on his frayed nerves during the bad days; a reminder that, though he's lost one sibling, he has another.

"He wasn't," Danny murmurs. Third trainer smiled a lot—that might be what Dani is remembering—but he had wandering hands and a creepy way of looking at him and Damian. He taught them about pinching nerves. His fingers always lingered.

"Oh," says Dani. She rights her tilt, though she's still drifting. Danny's brain does a weird thing, a math sort of thing, that calculates the angle of her drift, the current speed, the projected acceleration. If she keeps going, she'll bump into the wall in three minutes, twenty-seven seconds.

(His brain does weird things like that, sometimes. Frostbite says it's a result of ectoplasm mixing with living neural pathways. The ectoplasm appears to be acting as a stimulant of sorts, or maybe a steroid. A stimulant-steroid. (…Stimuloid?) He hadn't been able to follow the explanation very well at the time, due to the fact that his brain was doing the opposite of what it's doing now. Sometimes he thinks so fast it feels like his thoughts are teleporting; sometimes his head is so foggy he can barely process what's right in front of him. It's super great. Super.)

"… Oh," Dani says again, softer. Then, in an abrupt subject change, "Did you really almost push Tucker off some stairs?"

"You" this time. The way she selects it—"us", "me", "you"—it says a lot about how the memory feels to her. She'd been raised an assassin; she barely knows Tucker, Danny's oldest friend. She hardly recognizes dad; she wants to cling to Sam. Sometimes it's him, sometimes it's her, sometimes it's a weird third thing. Or something. She'd phrased it in a way that made him laugh and forget most of it, when he'd asked, and now he regrets that.

"I did, yeah," he huffs a laugh. "He stole—"

"Our truck!" Our. "Yeah, okay, I remember that."

"It wasn't a truck."

"No? It—ohhh, it was the, um. The model train. The one you built! That Tucker's dad gave you."

He nods. "Yeah. I was worried he'd break it."

"And pushing him down the stairs wouldn't?"

"Assassin training."

"Sure."

One of her eyes is a little crinkled. She might be getting a headache, because that's the face Danny makes when he's getting a headache. (It's the face Damian made when he got one, too.) (Stop comparing them.) "You should get some rest," Danny tries.

"I'll get nightmares."

Her nightmares are weird. She's talked about them enough for Danny to feel familiar with them, even though his are nothing like her's. She'd tried sharing one with him, once, and it'd hurt his head for days after.

"I'm gonna get nightmares too, now," he points out. She winces. Danny realizes too late that might have sounded more accusatory than intended. He wanted her to stop asking questions, yeah, but not at the cost of herself. He's the reason she exists now; he's the reason why her head is so stuffed full of things that don't make sense, memories and daydreams and terrors both real and imagined haunting every step she takes. Even if he isn't the one that made her, hadn't ever wanted her—even if that, she's his responsibility.

"It goes both ways, idiot," she says.

She's not reading his mind, but. It's like she is. She can feel his core like it's his thoughts, and that's near enough. "I'm the older brother," he says, intentionally putting something a little haughty in his voice, a tone he hasn't carried since he was, like, eight or something. The effect is ruined a bit as he lays down, angled so he can still watch her drift towards the wall. "You're my responsibility. That's how it goes."

She rolls her eyes. "What if I wanna be the older brother?"

"Can't. You're the youngest, out of the three of us."

Dani sort of… pauses.

Danny does, too. He hadn't meant to say that out loud. Damian is… "gone" isn't the right word, because he's not dead. Not like Danny thought he was for a… for a while. But he's off limits in a way Danny can't access. He hasn't referred to Damian as his brother since the first time Dani started asking questions, and she'd been careful to avoid doing so herself. Which would seem considerate, if Danny didn't know she avoided it because the whole thing just feels too big and too messy to look at in the eyes.

And here Danny's gone, shoving his foot in his mouth. The three of us. There isn't three; Damian has to think Danny's dead. Has to have mourned him. If Damian knew…

It's so scary to think about.

And—there's Dani, now. Not a replacement—nothing could replace Damian—but Damian would feel that she is. Probably.

"What a mess," Dani says.

Had she thought the same things? Maybe. No way to tell without asking, and Danny's too tired to ask. "Yeah."

She touches down onto the ground. On silent feet, she checks the locks on Danny's door, and then she pads over to the bed and nudges him until he gives her enough space to lay down next to him. She's not going to sleep here, and Danny won't be able to sleep with her there (it reminds them both of sharing a bed with Damian), but she likes to do this sometimes and Danny likes it when she does.

Neither of them say anything else. Danny won't be able to fall asleep, but he manages to start a very light doze. Dani's core thrums contentment and his echoes it. She's saying I love you I love you I love you and he's singing it back, and when her pinkie hooks into his—like Damian, like Damian, stop comparing them but it's so much like Damian—Danny curls his to lock it in place.

"I might to spy on him," she murmurs after an unknown amount of time.

Danny cracks open an eye. "You won't."

"I want to," she amends, "But… I won't." I'm scared, she doesn't say, but Danny can hear it anyway.

"The tabloids do it enough for us," Danny points out.

She snorts. "Yeah, sure. 'Damian Wayne: Vegetarian or secret animal killer?' Definitely a good accurate way to get information."

Danny smiles and lets his eyes slip shut again. "He was like that even when we were little." Didn't like eating meat, eating animals.

"I remember."

He sighs. His core sings I love you. Dani's pinkie slips from his. There's a sweep of cold, like a blanket being pulled over him, and then she's gone. He might see her in a week; he might not see her for months.

Danny drifts to sleep.

#danny phantom #dcu #dp dc crossover #damian wayne #dani phantom #robin rambles #robin writes #this au is SO.#SILLY.#wish itd leave my head

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xe-company · 1 year

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ACTS DONE BY + INFORMATION LEAKED BY SASAENGS OVER THE YEARS | SUN SOOAH 선수아 [SEVENTEEN]

! TRIGGER WARNINGS ! : Breaking into hotel room, people being put in danger, cheating, pregnancy scares, fighting, personal privacy being invaded,

*If there are other trigger warnings you feel are present let me know and I will add them to the list !!

[READ MORE]

☒ SOLO DEBUT

TIME FRAME: Mid 2020

REACTION: Many Carats were upset about her personal space being hacks and the leaking of what was going to be the first soloist to debut in SEVENTEEN. They praised the song and her vocals on it as it was going to be her debut to show her vocal talent.

A few sasaengs, back in mid 2020, had hacked into her iphone account that she uses to save and keep track of her music and photos and other things in her daily life. After looking through everything they had came across a snippet of a few of her solo songs and ideas for her debut solo mini album and had leaked it around 4:14 AM KST on JUNE 14TH. She was very upset and actually cried to some of the members behind the scenes when it happened as her, WOOZI, VERNON, and HOSHI worked extremely hard on those songs for two years prior. Although the song was leaked, many Carats were interested in her solo album!

☒ DATING DISASTER

TIME FRAME: Sometimes in 2016, 2018 - 2019, and 2022

REACTION: 50/50, some fans were happy their idols were in a relationship but others were extremely upset that SOONAH and their possible biases were in a relationship. The rumors from all years are sometimes still brought up.

SOONAH is often victim to sasaengs leaking information about her dating history and relationships with other idols. Majority of the time the leaks are harmless with little to no context or facts to back up the claim that she is dating certain idols. The first dating rumor was around mid 2016 with her and iKON’s BOBBY. Both companies denied any leak and rumor stating the two had never been introduced before so them being together was untrue. In the timeframe of 2018 - 2019, she was wrapped in the dating rumors with three other idols; MONSTA X’s I.M., PENTAGON’s YUTO, ONF’s WYATT respectively. All companies responded say the pairing were not intimately close and were just close friends who were working on a project together. The most recent leak/dating rumor was with THE BOYZ’ JACOB. Neither companies nor the two of them spoke on the matter and some fans still ask to this day.

☒ HOTEL FREAK OUT

TIME FRAME: Late 2022

REACTION: Many carats were worried for her and the members she was rooming with. No one was hurt but some items were stolen. Charges or other legal actions were not filed against them.

While she was staying in a hotel room, for the FACE THE SUN TOUR, that she shared with fellow members WONWOO, VERNON, and DINO. She had just gotten off her hiatus and was able to join the boys in their BE THE SUN TOUR. While the four of them were out eating with other members, a group of sasaengs that were waiting outside the hotel for them to leave were able to get up to their room and break in. A few items of her were taken along with a few items of the other members.

☒ RUDE PERSONALITY

TIME FRAME: 2014 - 2016

REACTION: Trainees were proved to be sasaengs + accusations were debunked. Some antis still bring this rumor up to the day.

It was leaked once that she was a former JYP trainee from 2014 - 2016. A few former trainees had come out and said that she was extremely rude and had a arrogant personality while the four of them were trainees. She didn’t speak on the topic for a while until it really got to her where she had to take a mental health hiatus.

☒ GIRL FIGHT

TIME FRAME: Late 2020 - Early 2021

REACTION: The public thought that the reasonings behind her actions were justified for the most part. She had publicly owned up to her actions when the information was leaked and says she does not regret what she had done. She does sometimes joke that anyone can get it as she’s never lost any of the fights.

The information of her being in fights was one that came out of the blue. It was kept under wraps for a few years after it happened. It is a well known fact that SOONAH and JINSUNG from SOUR CANDY are extremely close as they were classmates for a while. And while little is known about the two’s relationship plenty of people knew that her and YEWON disliked each other to an extreme level. No reasoning for the two’s dislike for each other is known. They had fought behind closed doors a few times before it was leaked in 2021 of their fights.

#⁂. ─── CALLING YOUR NAME‚ THE ONLY LANGUAGE I CAN SPEAK // [SEVENTEEN 14TH MEMBER]#⁂. ─── IT'S ALL LIES‚ DARLING // [SCANDALS+RUMORS]#⁂. ─── COMING SOON... // [QUEUED]#⁂. ─── NOW PRESENTING... // [ADDITIONAL GROUP MEMBER]#⁂. ─── LOOK WHO WE HAVE HERE // [GROUP ADDITION]#seventeen 14th member #seventeen oc #seventeen addition #xecompany #XP entertainment #xperience entertainment #fictional kpop company #kpop oc group addition #kpop group addition

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fancyshooting · 11 months

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hi anons I'm going to combine you

"plain name... but I won't forget it" stfu your name is adam normalson!!

we don't know much at all about the children raised by the philosophers in that era other than what eva says - "back then they were collecting children from all over the world" - and how she was raised in a joint us-soviet-chinese facility. she's almost a whole decade older than ocelot, so her upbringing was probably quite different, especially as she lacked the status ocelot had by virtue of being the son of the boss. it's interesting though that she says these children were "collected" and not orphans who were "rescued" or even something neutral like "taken in". in the radio call about ocelot's parents, eva says there were a lot of MIAs during the war but we know that's not true in ocelot's case. he wasn't really an orphan and if her radio bio is anything to go by, neither was eva (everything else in there is true so why would the family section be a lie? none of that information is given as part of her manipulation of snake. it's not relevant to the story at all, so why even include it? both her parents are apparently still alive at the time of operation snake eater. she sounds sympathetic to ocelot in this call too, which is a rare thing)

if the goal of a philosopher upbringing is to produce cold, single-minded spies, would any of these "orphans" be allowed to retain their legal surname? would the children of the elites in command/support of the philosophers be expected to renounce their identities for the sake of service? if not, and they were mixed, there was probably a divide between children with full names and children without. is that part of why ocelot is so averse to the snobbery surrounding formal titles...? i.e. a name doesn't magically grant you good character or make you automatically deserving of respect. idk it sounds like a similar line of thought

young ocelot's deliberate estrangement from his parents points to him being legally known by a name meaning much the same as "john doe" or maybe even something like "tretij rebenok". something impersonal or on the more extreme end, dehumanising. boy a, boy b, child #352 - that kind of thing maybe? it's so hard imo to talk about ocelot and names because he was almost definitely raised in some sort of cold horrible facility, nameless and pliable. he was never supposed to know who his parents were. he was never supposed to identify with anything. personal identity is just a distraction from his purpose. a legal name doesn't really matter anyway when the philosophers have the power to manipulate information on a global scale. political position, military rank, social status: irrelevant. everyone's personal records can be altered if the philosophers so desire

I think if he has a legal surname it's going to be something russian but it won't be the same as the sorrow's. all that information was probably highly classified and ocelot would have had no access to it for a long time, if ever (the most likely time is after the formation of the patriots. zero probably told him). ocelot was quite literally born a bastard anyway so if no abduction took place then he would've probably inherited the boss' surname. the casting sheet that was leaked before mgs3 was released said that the boss was british-american so her surname is probably like... smith or something. omg I just looked up the most common british surnames and one of them is adams. what if his first name is her surname and that's why his name (adamska) is a surname (polish, female). what if that made any sense. wait actually a while ago someone on here suggested that the reason ocelot's name is adamska could be something of a mean-spirited joke by his american abductors who resent his russian father and traitor mother. like they just stuck -ska on the end to make it sound russian. mocking him :( could explain why he later drops the -ska but keeps adam...? he's adams' son?

as for his legal surname, it wouldn't be a problem for it to be an american name. his defection is a known event, a public event that was televised locally in moscow according to mgs4's dodgy database (why would you put your super secret spy's face onscreen when he's supposed to be undercover...? "hi can you tell me military secrets I'm adam btw I was on tv :3")

him having an american name would only be a problem in that it would likely hinder his naturalisation or whatever. it would be conspicuous. I think the philosophers raised him with the intention of eventually shipping him off to the ussr so if he was raised with a surname, it's probably russian. someone on here (possibly the same person as above ^^^ sorry I don't remember) told me that "kotov" is a genuine russian surname derived from one of the russian words for cat (kot!! like on his bike!!). he can have that :)

while we're on the subject of names, ocelot having no patronym (as far as we know) is another little thing that shows how cut off he is from his family and culture. yevgeny borisovich volgin. ivan ivanovich raikov. we need to know the sorrow's first name so he can have some sense of belonging and fitting in and being normal. mr adam sorrovich normalson

in mgsv he says he's "plenty used to working under aliases" and is the one to pass on fake documents to big boss. the only alias we know of ocelot's is "shalashaska" but it's in the shalashaska origin tape that he says this, so he must be referring to other names he's used in secret offscreen spy work... although even "ocelot" is an alias in itself. you can see the detachment he has from his codename when he wants naked snake to know him as "adamska"

I hope that's alright! ty for the asks :D

#revolver ocelot #ask #I have a bad imagination #but this was interesting to think about #metal gear solid #mgs

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narcoticwriter · 2 years

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The Genshin Impact Cast & Their (Alleged) Crimes

You read that right. I'm going down the list of characters that are out and leaked/announced as of the date of the 2.7 livestream. This will include criminal charges, civil charges, and (of course) war crimes. I'm not sorry about this at all.

For legal reasons, if it wasn't obvious, this is a joke.

Before we move on, all of them will be slapped with aggravated assault preemptively because this is how the game works in general, but I will put this charge in some descriptions for emphasis.

(Thanks for the stroke of inspiration. You know who you are LMAO.)

Albedo: First-degree murder and unlawful experimentation as if Mond found out what freaky shit he was doing, he'd be mobbed and killed.

Aloy: Trespassing (do I tack on illegal border crossing too-)

Amber: Arson (unintentionally), civil misconduct, negligence

Arataki Itto: Disorderly conduct, disturbing the peace, aggravated assault (that one time), vandalism

Barbara: Disturbing the peace (but not really lmao)

Beidou: Tax fraud/evasion, piracy (obviously), open container of alcohol (this is seriously a charge), probation violation, (legal) racketeering, smuggling

Bennett: Negligence, personal injury, the Torts law would have a ball with this kid

Chongyun: Trespassing, disturbing the peace (the ghosts would sue due to the yang energy)

Diluc: Willful killing, taking of hostages, willfully causing great suffering, extensive destruction and appropriation of property, killing a man already down (legit war crime), vigilantism, homicide, kidnapping, grand larceny, attempted involuntary manslaughter (there's more but this is getting long)

Diona: Malpractice, attempted poisoning

Eula: Disorderly conduct, disturbing the peace (Mondstadt hates her enough to waste tax dollars on this)

Fischl: . . . Indecent exposure (people really didn't like her in the lore)

Ganyu: I mean, if you wanna count war crimes from 2000+ years ago, I could tack on willful killing and the criminal charge of aiding in that regard, but other than that, she's pretty clean.

Gorou: Willful killing, aggravated assault, voluntary manslaughter

Hu Tao: Disturbing the peace, solicitation, harassment, kidnapping, attempted murder/burial of someone who is alive

Jean: Child labor maybe? Perhaps. Yeah. A charge of child labor is fair. And maybe a child soldier? They aren't in a war, but hilichurls are hostiles, right? Is solitary confinement considered child abuse-

Kaedahara Kazuha: Treason, espionage, rebellion/insurrection, inciting a riot/rebellion, civil disorder, illegal border crossing

Kaeya: Perjury, conspiracy, extortion, white-collar crimes, unauthorized disclosure of classified information, forgery, bribery, willful endangerment

Kamisato Ayaka: . . . I've got nothing. Literally nothing. I can't even put legislative misconduct, aid in a crime, or even complicity. She's innocent.

Kamisato Ayato: Extortion, racketeering, aiding and abetting, fraud

Keqing: She could get some class-action suits and some charges in terms of running the workplace, but other than that? No.

Klee: Arson, involuntary manslaughter (?), disturbing the peace, crimes against wildlife

Kujou Sara: 'Legal' extensive destruction and appropriation of property, 'legally' willfully depriving a prisoner of war or other protected person of the rights of fair and regular trial, 'legal' deportation or transfer or unlawful confinement

Kuki Shinobu: She actually tries to drop these charges. She went to law school, for goodness sake. Is being a lawyer a charge?

Lisa: Cruel and unusual punishment, use of torture, speculative disclosure of classified information per according to the Heavenly Principles

Mona: Tax evasion

Ningguang: Collusion, market, and price manipulation, monopolizing, and perhaps she'll also be held liable for whatever Beidou or Yelan does as she works with them

Noelle: If her scaring off Snezhnayan diplomats could be a charge for treason somehow, then sure

Qiqi: If she's technically not alive, does the law apply posthumously? Even if it does, she's done nothing wrong except maybe trespass on Jueyan Karst

Raiden Shogun: In the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court, Section 8, Paragraph 2, Points A, B, and C, I list off the following: (A) I, II, III, IV, VI, VII, VIII, (B) I, II, III, IV, XII, XIII, XIV, XXI, (C) III, IV

Razor: Is he even under the jurisdiction of the law?

Rosaria: Homicide, assassination, voluntary manslaughter, vigliantism, familicide

Sangonomiya Kokomi: Willful killing is a thing and she absolutely incited rebellion too, totally guilty, but despite being in a war, she didn't commit that many obvious war crimes besides those.

Sayu: Negligence, liability

Shenhe: Voluntary manslaughter, first-degree murder, aggravated assault

Shikanoin Heizou: Petty thievery, liability, negligence, bribery, misconduct

Sucrose: Aiding and abetting in unlawful experimentation

Tartaglia: Wanton murder, enforced disappearances of persons, torture, wanton killing, extortion, grand larceny, terrorism, intentionally directing attacks against the civilian population, threatening public officials, the entirety of Section A of the War Crimes clause (it goes on)

Thoma: Illegal immigration except the Kamisato Clan renders that nonexistent, so he's innocent

Traveler: Over the implied longevity of their existence, it is my personal belief that they have collected war crimes and criminal charges like Pokemon and have caught them all (but I'm not going as far as anything sexual or domestic because that's a line I won't cross)

Venti: Gliding under the influence, open container of alcohol, grand larceny, disturbing the peace, public intoxication

Xiangling: Crimes against wildlife, speculative intentional poisoning (contested), malpractice (?)

Xiao: Manslaughter, first-degree murder, willful killing, torture (of the psychological variety)

Xingqiu: He could be slapped with a harassment charge if Chongyun cared to bother, but some vigilantism is a thing

Xinyan: Disturbing the peace, indecent exposure (the majority of the public really seem to hate her)

Yae Miko: Mostly extortion, but if she wanted to run a pyramid scheme, so could do so with wild success

Yanfei: The one prosecuting the cast

Yelan: Extortion, kidnapping, solo racketeering

Yoimiya: Negligence, damage to public property, unintentional arson

Yun Jin: The only thing I can say is that I don't know what an opera singer would do that's illegal or anything that she'd do personally that would be illegal

Zhongli: Is it terrorism if he's the ruler that allowed it? Is it treason? Can he even be held to a variety of war crimes? All I know is that the charges of negligence and liability law against would be downright criminal in of themselves.

Bonus - Paimon: Harassment. That is all.

---

If you wanna slap some more charges I may have missed or even debate some of them with others, go ahead and go ham.

#genshin discourse #genshin impact #going ham #narky thinks

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lucymultistan · 9 months

Text

BTS Masterlist

All of my recommended fics

ALL CREDIT GOES TO THE CREATORS! I HAVE NOT WROTE ANY OF THESE, MY BLOG WILL BE TAGGED IN MY BIO

Key: !=Smut #=Fluff $=Angst

Full Fics:

Little do you know !#$

Summary: In a world where idols and actors can’t date, whether it be because of contracts, lack of time, or the dangers that involve having your personal life leaked, the market opened up for a new work field. Playmate Agencies emerged to supply the entertainment world with highly trained companions for hire. Bangtan is looking for new playmates. And you just happen to be the one all of them choose.

Recrudecence !#$

It’s nearly easy as breathing (for six of them, at least) for BTS to pretend to be just like everyone else - humans with big dreams and aspirations. But one person brings the façade crashing to the ground and for some reason, they just can’t let her go.

Time !#$

Summary: Time. It's always passing by, always changing things that you wish stayed the same. It brought the good and it brought the bad, hell it brought the down right best time in your life. The best thing in your life came with time. It came with some stumbled steps, tough spots...it came with time.

Unorthodox !#

Summary: You meet BTS on vacation and everything is awesome!

Sh. !#$

SERIES SUMMARY Six months of quarantine have kept you apart. Somehow the distance sparks something new in each of you: questions, unfinished conversations, threads once chased now left cold. So when your roommate invites you to come with him to a mysterious house in the mountains with your friends, how could you even think of saying no?

Eidolons !#$

Summary: To live in an old manor in the middle of nowhere filled with historical, cultist, and most probably cursed relics for a year is part of the will your mysterious grandaunt bestowed onto you. It's all good until the seven men arrive, looking for a place to stay. Or so you've been told. But these men aren't actually guests; they've been in your attic for a lot longer than you think, waiting to be freed. The longer you spent time with them, the more you feel like you know them. And they seem to know you like the back of their hands, too. When you find yourself falling in love with not one, but all of them, you'll soon realize that the the truth can be painful to swallow and they will learn that freedom comes at a cost.

Relax, it's our honeymoon !#

You and BTS are in a poly relationship, and have recently gotten married. It’s time for your honeymoon!

To Build a Home !#$

Summary: With the government's hydrid sector hot on your tails (no pun intended), you have less than a year to solve the problem before they're legally allowed to take you in as a lab rat. What you didn't anticipate was the addition of 6 new members of yours and Jin's happy duo. Luckily you both had enough love for 6 others.

The Households Bunny !#$

Summary: You were a cam girl and OnlyFans creator all the while you were a senior in college. A series of events leads you to be living with seven men under the same roof of one renovated motel. Entering the life of rich, and touch starved, men as a less than rich, but similarly touch starved, woman is bound to hold some shenanigans

The Gentlemen !#$

Summary:Sick of unsatisfying hookups, boring relationships or the company of your own hand? Apply today for the chance to be on bangasm.com’s very first reality show! Seven attractive young gentlemen will be vying for your choice of who is best in bed. All from different backgrounds, these men claim they’ll be able to rock your world, so don’t hesitate! Apply now!

Oh My Lucifer! !#$

Summary: In hopes of achieving a high mark in your final exam you're willing to give up anything, including your soul. However when your drunken joke of a ritual suddenly comes true, how do you even begin to explain your logic to the seven demon lords seated in front of you.

Void !#$

Summary: You are the only female crew member on a 12 year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.

One-shots/ drabbles:

Alpha goes first !!!!

Summary: Each pack has its own set of traditions and standards and as the newest omega in bangtan’s pack- you have more than a few things to learn. things come to a head when the youngest alpha tries to breed you before your pack alpha does. Seokjin doesn’t like that one bit.

The Kings bride !!!!!!

Untitled !#

Summary: In which Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook see your true colors.

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allamericansbitch · 7 months

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omg Taylor has changed some lyrics and they got leaked. Beach89 totally makes sense

🎶Welcome to the beach, it's been waiting for you Welcome to the beach, welcome to the beach Welcome to the beach, it's been waiting for you Welcome to the beach, welcome to the beach It's a new soundtrack, I could splash in the sea, sea forevermore The tide is so high, it'll never drown me, me 🎶

This is the only way beach89 is really happening. (For legal reasons this is a joke).

opening track is now actually just a cover of starships by nicki minaj

#answered #anonymous

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liskantope · 2 years

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[Content note: not going to be very charitable or thorough about my views on the general issue of recent developments on Roe vs. Wade, or bother cluttering this up with qualifications.]

Caught in the midst of another wave of work, I've been a little late in picking up the details of the leak of Alito's document and the fact that it represents the soon-forthcoming opinion of the Supreme Court as a whole in favor of overturning Roe vs. Wade.

I distinctly remember 4-5 years ago stating confidently to people that I just couldn't imagine it ever being overturned, not because the public tide would ever shift overwhelmingly in favor of pro-choice (as has been the case with same-sex marriage for instance), but because enough of the country favored the legality of abortion (a clear majority), and enough of that subset felt strongly enough about it, that there would be massive protests and rioting such as those of us who are reasonably young would have never seen in our lifetimes. The Supreme Court was clearly to a great extent a representation of political winds (much as this was against its premise of course), and the politicians-that-be on both sides of the aisle would surely be far too afraid of the violent public backlash to dare allow RvW to be overturned. Chipped away at through incremental legislation in dozens of states perhaps, but not straight-up reversed on the level of SCOTUS.

Then in summer 2020 I got a taste of what severe social unrest and widespread angry protesting/rioting look like. And still I remember saying (probably to myself, because I wasn't talking to many people at the time), "If RvW gets overturned, there will be protesting and rioting on a level that makes all this George Floyd stuff look like a joke in comparison."

But now that it's actually happening, I'm not sure that there will be anywhere near that much of a reaction. And I have complex feelings about that.

On the one hand, it's very easily possible to exaggerate how disastrous the effects of the overturning will be (I expect a good percentage of Americans sloppily confuse it with a ruling banning abortion everywhere for instance, alternate routes to abortion are more feasible than they were 50 years ago, etc.). And I consider protesting to have some positive but limited utility (while rioting has negative utility). On the other hand, I still consider it disastrous enough that I feel a desire to become much more activist about this than about most other things.

But on the third hand, I want to see a reaction that reassures me at least a tiny bit, when compared with the unrest two summers ago, that liberal social activism has some rational understanding of practical effects of laws and priorities and abstract narratives versus concrete facts and so on. In a way, I want to see far more protesting, far more domination of the national discourse, far more emotion, far more passion, far more raw force as a social movement attached to this than was ever attached to George Floyd's murder and the vaguely-understood cloud of oppressive attitudes it represented. There are concrete laws at stake here which affect vast numbers of people in a highly tractable way that doesn't depend on vague principles or desires for revolution or nebulous "understood truths". There are highly measurable ways that large demographics in our society will suffer, a more firmly-founded fuel for our emotions than anger over several individual outrageously tragic incidents.

In that vein, I want to see a moral panic over female reproductive rights. I want to see awareness and tension over these issues seep into almost every facet of our society. I want to see every major company speak up on it. I want to see widespread treatment of the perpetuation of poverty as a result of lack of control over reproduction, and those who think it's worth it because of their convictions about the sanctity of souls or possibly more unsavory beliefs, as a scourge on our culture. I want to see dating profiles, in the midst of the usual dog and sarcasm enthusiasm, explode with exhortations of "if you don't like women having choices, swipe left".

#roe vs. wade #abortion #george floyd #BLM #online dating #not every expressed wish in this post should be taken literally #nor does it anywhere near represent the whole of my concern

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myth-logic · 2 months

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So something interesting happened in Aus [Please share if you can and add more if you want.]

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A post shared by Block The Dock Naarm (@blockthedock)

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Block the Dock is an organiser of protests and blockades here in mel. to block shipments of military equipment going to the Zio. state, that they got information from someone in the group where there was no identifiable information except names and photos of these high-up people in multiple places that have been targeting anti-zio Jewish People, First Nations People, Palestinian People and much more to get them out of education, booted from their jobs, getting them blacklisted and so on. As well as a METRIC SHIT TON of hateful stuff towards those communities as well as anyone who is practising allyship towards them. SOOOOO what does the media do? oh, uh say that these zios. were targeted and "doxxed" and so on, like no joke. Basically a lot of crying victim after a showcase of how willing the creative industries is to do so.

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And yeah, the government wants "Doxxing" like this to be criminalised because these people are pretty prominent. They were experiencing blowback from their own actions [a LOT of personal details of people they wanted out were shared to the point where many people needed to go into the archive of this chat group and have it censored. This a reminder there's only been ONE person fired due to being a part of this group. ] Also, the media has said "There's no access for this chat anymore" there is. Like straight up. I want to talk about this because actively hateful groups like these folks can have all the protections in the world, while people trying to work towards a better world are punished and hurt for wanting people to stop being hurt. ------ This is all now publically available information and this is just my thoughts on this, as nobody else is talking about it. I do not want to encourage violence or stalking or anything in any way towards anyone here, thats why I haven't given names of anyone. What I want to do is to bring attention to it and give more of a reason to ask people to call up their ministers, schools, workplaces and such about Palestine to educate them and to express your concerns. As well as people being able to react to this information that has been leaked and there's a HEAP of Zios. in the creative industries that have been locking out and intimidating people who disagree with them. I think I phrased this right for all the legal people out there considering the fact there are many people out there that do not know what happened, and there are much more who have been fed another narrative.

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Go and call his staff while you are at it, I'm pretty sure you international people can too. As yeah, this is concerning how willing a colony that says its "really sorry" for all the colonising that's still happening [just "nicer" like the health system and much more] wants to help another colony while it's colonising.

Go and support El Rahman is doing, they're Palestinian mutual aid funders who are trying to give supplies to Aus Palestinians who have recently arrived/need to arrive/need help/extra.

Uh, thanks for reading, I'm not an expert, I'm just a guy who saw all of this and went "holy fuck" because even when there have been actual doxxings of people who are marginalised [including Pro-Palestinian People] where it led to dire consequences including recently... the government does nothing but as soon as this group happens [which again, wasn't anything other than their names being attached to it] they jump in and make it illegal. huh. Like I feel scared to make this considering how much has happened, but I'd rather do this than not because it's my thoughts [that should be "protected" by some form of freedom of speech] and information sprinkled in. Let me know if there's anything that should be added or if there are any points that can be clarified or something. :]

#Free Palestine #please share #Instagram

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patheticprogrammingperson · 9 months

Text

Author’s note: I’m back to writing these as normal, no massive bulk jobs, in stupid time periods, but, oddly, I somewhat preferred how the plot summaries I wrote in that crunch were, more snappy and concise, so I’m going to be trying to take some of that for the regular ones. Also, I would very much appreciate any feedback, of any kind (as long as it’s constructive)

So, Red Rackham’s Treasure, the sequel to The Secret Of The Unicorn (TSOTU), and yet another introduction of an amazing classic character, Professor Calculus

Now, without further ado, letsa go!

Plot-line

Opening the story, news of the mission to the wreck of the Unicorn is leaked to the press, Tintin and Haddock are harassed, we meet the wonderful Professor Calcus, who pitches a submarine, brushes Haddock, presses the Thom(p)sons, and breaks the submarine.

Dreams quashed, a diving-suit is bought, Haddock is banned from alcohol (plot-lines involving Haddock not being able to drink alcohol are oddly common) and I misuse the comedic rule of three.

Anyway, it’s time for the main event Tintin&Co set sail on the Sirius, the Thom(p)sons come aboard and fail to disguise themselves, and I once more abuse the comedic rule of three.

One short bomb threat later, Snowy gets drunk, Calcus is discovered as a stowaway, and the comedic rule of three files a restraining order against me.

Comedic rule of three jokes now well and truly over, we reach the island close to where the unicorn sank, and so of course ashore we go, and find:

Bones (human)

A replica of Sir Francis (Haddock’s ancestor)

Swearing birds (assuming that Haddock’s “colourful” language is, in fact, swearing)

None of that is at all important to our story though, back to the boat, oh wait, here’s Calclus in a shark submarine which can shrug off small-arms fire, which, after a botched dive, finds the wrench, so it’s diving time.

Tintin finds old documents, Haddock finds rum and almost drowns.

Now, I’m no expert in alcohol, yet alone rum, but I’m pretty sure 250 years underwater might have a negative effect.

The Thom(p)sons pump late, despite neither being Luigi, and then Tintin dives again, getting a shark drunk, and possibly partakes themselves, as they promptly head back to the island in order to dig, and find nothing, but Haddock gets a coconut to the coconut, which counts for something.

Tintin gives up, and we head home, to Belgium that is, not the boat Calculus buys a large country estate and Château, for Haddock, because it used to belong to the Haddocks.

In the basement there, we find the treasure, in a stone globe, under a sculpture of John the Evangelist, no relation to Garfield, just popping the lid off through 250-year-old springs.

So, there we go, Haddock assembles a small museum of the Unicorn, and all’s well that ends well.

Characters

So, as has become a trend, we have only one to care about, Calculas, who is simply stupendous, emotively drawn, wittily written, I could go on about him for an extended period of time, but I do not have an extended period of time.

Other than Calculus, I don’t think there’s a single new actual character.

Thom(p)sons are good though, even if they get stuck pumping.

Things I like

This is the first of the Tintin books to not have an antagonist of any kind, instead focusing on the exploration, and deriving tension from the natural dangers of the environment, like sharks, and chimps with guns, which helps it stand out.

Things I don't

That’s right, it’s yet another nit-pick one of these, as all of them are now!

Apparently, Tintin’s home address is public knowledge.

The gang of scammers that attempt to extort Tintin and Haddock claim to be descendants of Rackham, however, there is no reason that being descended from Rackham would give them rights to a share of the treasure, as Rackham was a pirate, who never legally controlled any of the treasure, it was robbed from a Spanish ship, and then transferred to the Unicorn when Rackham took it.

The Thom(p)sons survive major head trauma without lasting effects.

A parrot yells “RRRATION MY RRRUM!” far louder than a parrot reasonably could

Taking a dog on a submarine dive doesn’t seem sensible, consumes the air far too much.

At the point just before Tintin gets stuck, Calculus says “Gone long? Why, it’s only ten minutes since they dived…” However, when they row out to Tintin once they deploy the underwater smoke-signal, Calculas says “May drown? Well, they had enough oxygen for two hours. He’s got… let’s see… yes, they have just got enough for another ten minutes!”, therefore meaning it had been 1:50:00 since they dived, and so it had taken 1:40:00 to get the boat out, which does not seem reasonable.

Troublesome bits

Well, there’s nothing I can find, so, as always, if you find iffy stuff, please leave it in the comments/tags/reblogs/asks/likes/whereonearthdoesoneputhisstuffontumblr.

Silly bits

Haddock has high-grade book accuracy

Grumpy Tintin

The submarine prototype is incredibly fragile

Anticapitalistic shop owner

Bomb threat

Canon cannibals

The submarine is able to shrug off small-arms fire, without taking any form of damage

Tintin&Co casually murder a shark (which Calculus wants to eat)

The Thompsons are hated by Fate

Calculus just casually pays for Marlinspike out of pocket

Conclusion

Well, that was enjoyable, top-tier Tintin, go read it.

Sources:

Garfield - 1

Garfield - 2

Garfield - 3

#include <stdio.h>#book review #tintin

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itsyaboi-ray · 3 years

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leaked image of s15 e03 “mac tries desperately to get a boyfriend”

#for legal reasons this is a joke not an actual leak #always sunny #iasip #charlie kelly #mac mcdonald #dee reynolds #sweet dee #dennis reynolds #sunny memes #im sure this has been done before but oh well

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shadowed-dancer · 3 years

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Lmao watch Bakugo call Deku “Izuku” next chapter and y’all lose your collective shit

#bnha #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha leaks #bnha 318 #katsuki bakugo #himiko toga #for legal reasons this is a joke #if you don't get it #there's a theory floating around that the bakugo from 318 is actually toga #I don't personally believe the theory #cuz I don't think toga knows his ap shot #but I just think the fandom's reaction would be hilarious

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spiderling-space · 3 years

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I and Brew @twisted-n-thirsty talked about this months ago and this post just made me resurface this. Enjoy the crack!

Setting: Malleus finally decides to pay more attention how his classmates interact and he asks help from Lilia. Lilia starts teaching Malleus slangs that are used among his classmates but he can't stop his mischievous side. Lilia tells Malleus that "Send nudes!" means "How are you? What are you doing now?" Malleus takes this as a note. He just wants to share his newfound slang phrase so he decides to use it. Malleus sends "sends nudes everyone!" to prefect's group chat that has MC in it too.

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle doesn't know slang nor does he care about learning them.

He isn't the first person to see Malleus' message as he is busy with his prefect duties.

When Riddle sees his message, he asks what he had meant in the group chat since Vil's response seemed like a casual message from him. He regrets saying that in the group after the responses he gets.

Riddle is beyond angry and he just wants to wash his eyes after seeing the responses. He swears he will never ask what a slang phrase means. He doesn't check out his phone for the rest of the day.

🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁

Leona Kingscholar

Leona was sleeping when Malleus sent that message. When he wakes up, he thinks of ignoring it since it is from the lizard but then he sees the content of the message from his notifications as a smirk forms on his face.

Leona gets back to his room as quickly as possible and strips of his clothes and takes his nude photos. Normally he could have chosen one from his photo gallery but he wanted to get the best picture.

He sees Riddle's message "What does send nudes mean?" and he thinks it is the perfect opportunity to send his pictures.

Leona doesn't respond to Riddle instead he @ mentions Malleus and says "Pass this" as he sends his nudes.

🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul is aware of the slang humans use. He is caught off guard when Malleus of all people writes "send nudes" in their prefect group chat.

Of course, Azul isn't going to send his naked pictures in his human form. He learned about human culture to know that those types of pictures are reserved for certain people.

He has been there from the beginning but he stays silent and he just observes what is happening in the chat. After Leona sends his nude images, he wonders if Malleus will send back. He wouldn't use it against Malleus if he decides to send nudes because he isn't stupid enough to get in a legal battle with a crown prince and blackmail one of the most powerful mages in Twisted Wonderland.

Azul is going to use this incident to his advantage. He will offer Malleus to teach him modern slang and where to use them so he would befriend Malleus.

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim loves putting a smile on people's faces so when Malleus sent that message, he thought if he sends his nudes, Malleus will be happy. So he decides to take his nude pictures.

"Sorry Malleus :/:'( I wasn't sure how to take my nudes so I asked Jamil to take my nude photos but he almost choked on air before refusing me" "Now he is giving me angry look" "Now he said I am not allowed to send you guys such pictures and he will confiscate my phone if I ever ask him that" "Don't worry Malleus. I'll learn how to take my nudes on my own and send you them as soon as Jamil leaves me alone"

Kalim knows these types of photos getting leaked would lead to issues as a future business owner but since it is just between friends, it is fine.

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑

Vil Schönheit

As an actor and model, Vil needs to be accessible to his manager all the time and vice versa. He is the first one to see and read Malleus' message and he is irked by it.

As a celebrity, he knows how having nude pictures on his phone might turn out so he doesn't have nor will he ever have his nudes on his phone. He also thinks it is quite improper to do so.

Vil thinks of scolding Malleus but first, he will send him the only nude that matters - his nude makeup collection. "This is the only valid nude"

When Vil sees Leona sending his nudes to the group, he just snaps. Vil takes Rook with him to scold Leona after he says "No one else will send their naked pictures here!" in the group chat. He thinks will get grey hair and wrinkles because of how Leona and the others behave. He should also talk with Kalim about proper behaviour.

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Idia Shroud

Idia was in the middle of an online game so he wouldn't possibly stop and check out Malleus' message. Even if it weren't an online game, he wouldn't stop.

When the round ends, he checks out what other prefects are talking about in their group chat since he got lots of notifications from it.

Idia doesn't know how to react at first. The Malleus Draconia asked his fellow prefects and (Y/N) to send their nudes. He replies to that message with "LMFAO" then he proceeds to read the rest. He is crackling as he reads Riddle asking what Malleus meant, Vil sending his nude makeup collection, Kalim apologizing for not being able to take his nudes and finally Leona sending his actual nudes. "LOL" he writes before Vil gets angry at Leona for sending those pictures and Idia for laughing at what is happening. At least Idia didn't send any!

Idia would normally give a savage response but he doesn't want to be at the receiving end of Vil's lectures so he just enjoys reading the chaos unfold.

🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉

Malleus Draconia

Malleus just wanted to ask how they are doing using the slang phrase his classmates do. He doesn't understand what is happening in the prefect group chat.

He thinks Rosehearts is as clueless as him and him knowing that slang despite Rosehearts not knowing makes me feel better at first. Then for some reason, Schönheit sends a picture of his makeup, followed by Asim apologizing. He thinks they were supposed to say how they are doing and ask him "send nudes" back.

Then Kingscholar sends his own picture wearing nothing and saying "pass this". He certainly didn't need to see Kingscholar's private parts. He then realizes something else is going on and tells Lilia what happened. Lilia says he made a joke and he didn't think Malleus would write it.

Malleus wasn't impressed with his joke until he receives a private message from (Y/N), saying "you should have asked it privately, I'd have sent them anyway" with their naked pictures. After seeing them, Malleus no longer sulks and thinks he should prepare marriage certificate since he has seen (Y/N)'s intimate parts and enjoyed it.

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