If it's wrong by faith and morals to want to choke on a woman's dick, suffocate between the legs of an enby, drown myself in the taste of a mans cunt, and hear the divine moans from the pleasure I provide, then your religion is dark and torturous and I want no part of it. I want to make my partners call out to gods they don't believe in, I want them to hit pitches in moans they never thought possible, for those brief few hours in their presence, I want them to glimpse the peace of every afterlife known and unknown to human kind. I want to gift them bliss, and see them made content. And if that sends me to your religions version of eternal imprisonment and torture, then I guess the next chapter in my existence will be spending my afterlife wading through torturous pain once again to steal one more kiss from the lips of the divine.
You can fear your gods wrath, fear the torture and pain for breaking their rules. I'll accept the challenge of seeing your gods face disgusted and enraged. I don't need your "savior". I need to save a queer person from their shame and dysphoria, and make them feel extraordinary between my sheets.
Call me depraved, call me misguided, call me sick, twisted, disgusting, despicable, and any name you would choose to debase me. I make my bed with the allo's and bake my bread with the aro's you cast aside. In a world you paint with angels and devils, gods and demons, light and shadow, with no grey in-between, I'll be the darkness in the corner and the shadows in the closet where those you cast unjustly aside dwell. Against your hatred, contempt, and dissent; I will be love, respect, and consent. To you, I am Demon; to them I am Goddess, and yet not Queen but equal. I am Her, I am the spirit of resistance against tyranny. I am love made anger, I am hope when surrounded in shadow, I am war when words fail because of obstinate minds wrought from false concepts of superiority, I am She who speaks when no one would, I am words caught in the throat and forced out despite fear. I am rebellion. I ask no altar for worship, no symbol to stand for me, no pedestal to be placed upon. I am comrade, partner, sidekick. I demand egality for all. I am Twin by a name you will not speak. Those that respect me will call me Llorelei. Those that fight with me will call me Accalia or Talia.
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Hello fandom. I understand that very few of you will care about my personal opinion, and that's fine, but I find it important enough to how I run my blog to share anyway.
In the future, all of my posts will simply be avoiding any mention of Wilbur wherever possible. His character is a major part of Tallulah's story, but I will be keeping him away from my blog as much as I can.
Typically, I would go with a "death of the author" approach and keep mentions of the character and cc more separate. However, the cc's alleged quest for money and fame changes that entirely. I will not be contributing to that. That's just my personal choice, so there should be no shame to anyone who chooses to separate the two, obviously.
I watched Shubble's video and I saw his response. In my opinion, it was terrible. The way he centralized his own "growth," minimized the pain he caused, and left the actual apology on the second page is revealing. His statement reminds me of some of the past emotional abuse I've experienced, so his content will no longer be welcome on my blog. I believe in the merit of archiving, so I will not be deleting any past posts, but he will no longer have any place in my death family related tags.
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Genetic engineering, DNA modification, tested it on herself... Why would Jillian go through all this trouble? Adoption would be easier, surrogacy wouldn't be an issue for a woman with so much money, so why this devotion to medical science, to gene manipulation?
This doesn't seem very logical unless we take one step further in examining her characterisation as a sort of Virgin Mary character implied by her clothing and framing during season one: a man is never mentioned in connection to Michael's conception, either as donor or father... Possibly because Michael has no father. Jillian has made him up from scratch or, at least, using only her own genetic material.
This would surely equate to an awesome "medical marvel" and it would accomplish two additional things: first, it would account for just how sick Michael needs to be so that an extremely rare substance that doesn't even belong to this world can be his sole hope in surviving (the result of a miscalculation, an unforeseen mutated gene, some error in Jillian's design, the absence of something); and second, reproduction without the aid of man ("sinless", sexless) not only ties Jillian's character more closely to the theme of the holy mother, it also more strongly makes a Jesus figure out of Michael.
This is significant because it makes him into a designated saviour: Michael, too, "dies", crossing to "the other side" and later returning with the mission of saving humanity, which is the role he is sure he will play during all of season two. This story has been told before, the structure is the same and we all know it. He mirrors Christ in his being born of a woman untouched by man, in going beyond life and back, in being tasked by a higher power to act for others in his sacrifice. It is a destiny clearly written out for him, a classic narrative, a hero's journey neatly set up for Michael to accomplish and all he has to do is follow the script.
And yet, doing everything right, by the book, Michael ultimately fails.
If, according to all of the doubts awakened by the developments in Warrior Nun (is Adriel's realm not Heaven? Is he not an angel? Is Reya God? Is Jesus just as alien as Adriel? Etcetera), the Catholic church's teachings are all twisted, incomplete, when not simply ignorant of all that is true in spiritual, metaphysical matters, then this saviour narrative that constitutes the foundation of the institution itself is doomed — as well as whatever guidance it could supply.
I was discussing with @halobearerhavoc earlier about (among many other intriguing things) how myth informs the show and how it might predict Reya's fall, but also how that event would necessarily depart from how it plays out in the original myth. That is due to the fact that our protagonist here is Ava, a woman, and that this tiny little fact of sex alone forces a shift in how things are presented, in which values are prioritised, in how conflict is treated, escalated or resolved — this applies here as well.
Michael was the textbook redeemer, he was made for this, brought up by Reya with this explicit purpose and with the acquired conviction that he was the key to it all.
Ava, on the other hand, is a product of coincidence, of accident, of the unfathomable. She is already a rupture in tradition — dead and brought back, unknowingly, unwillingly the "usurper" of the halo, inserting herself in the line of bearers at random when she doesn't even seem to have any belief... Ava exists outside of tradition. To Michael's determined "Destiny", she is the one imbued with free will (it isn't out of guilt or duty that she returns to the Cat's Cradle, but through Mary's sympathy, through her own understanding and action). Ava is the unplanned factor, contrasted with Michael who was so planned that his life might have begun inside a Petri dish.
It isn't determinism that will save us, a mantle of glory woven by someone else wanting to place it upon our shoulders regardless of our own wishes; it isn't a decrepit institution or some despotic deity that will define us or what we do; it isn't the heavy, malodorous layers of ancient mould gathered over the endless tomes of Established Tradition or the carefully made calculations of arrogant scientists who think they can predict and explain and control everything.
Salvation cannot be through what Michael represents: an imposed duty, a stagnant, hackneyed story.
A story, we would do well to remember, which was already used to subjugate others, whatever its initial intentions might have been; Jillian certainly didn't predict what would be of her son and surely the primitive Christians didn't see into the future to understand what their devotion and their modes of its transmission would cause, yet it came to happen. The extermination of the Cathars, the persecution of pagans, the burning of "witches", the suppression of indigenous beliefs, activities and lives, to name but a few of the atrocities committed in the name of this one story...
So it cannot be Michael, embodying this narrative so well, that will bring about a fortunate ending to humanity's troubles.
Instead, salvation comes through Ava. She herself might be inhabited by a number of parallels with Christ, but she also carries freedom, an outsider's view which makes the inside so see-through, love, an ability to move outside of what had been previously set for her by someone else (one might even argue that these are the traits that made Christ before the story surrounding him came about)...
The walls built around her needn't contain her — and, phasing as she does, they do not.
Moreover, what would have been the real ending to Reya's plan, had it been followed exactly as it should have? The divinium bomb did hit Ava in the end, but wouldn't it have been worse had she not been interrupted in running up to Michael while he immobilised Adriel during the televised freak circus?
Ava's unpredictability, her impulse, her innate need to act with free will rather than constricted by what others dictate — Ava is the foil to fate itself, the foil to a structure, to a hierarchy that has been festering and rotting from the beginning of time, it should seem.
The hero of this story could only ever be her.
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I lost the OP post about how Phaya and Tharn's love is against the natural order. Yes, OP, you are correct.
But it isn't the only stake. The main driving factor is less they're forbidden by their natures. It's Chalothon's possessive attitude towards Wansarut and all her reincarnations that exists because of his hatred of Sakuna.
Because that's the truth of the matter. He doesn't look at Tharn and Phaya and see two individuals. He sees the two that crossed him. Sakuna, his enemy who he has fought to kill so many times and the one who took one of his people. Probably in his eyes defiled her because hey he's toxic.
I can understand his issues with Sakuna/Phaya because they're enemies, but what he does to Wansarut and Tharn is what will send him to hell. He doesn't care for them. He doesn't want to do right by them. He wants to own them because they're his people. Sakuna can't have what's his. But they were never his. If the backstory is the same as the novel, he had her, and he didn't want her. He only wanted her when she found real love with Sakuna.
He's obsessed with them because of Sakuna. Because he will not let go of a millenia old hatred that Phaya can't even remember. We don't even know if there is still a war going on. He's prolonging this animosity for his own selfish need to vindicate himself. He is the victor and Phaya is the loser, never to be with the one he loves. Even if Tharn doesn't love him back even if he can't because he will only ever love Phaya. He wants Tharn to live in that misery because it means he's won.
Like they're enemies by generational trauma, but the true enemy is nature, Chalothon's nature.
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