#fuck bassnectar
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blast off
#I am a traveling professional blunt roller#Kansas City can be kinda cool but not really#they did have some amazing sunrises and sunsets tho#my hands hurt and I’m baby#mine#blogging my feeliings#my life is a joke#fuck bassnectar
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a series of white lies
❝ he calls me ‘dude.’ i can’t date a guy whose term of endearment for me is the same one he uses for johnny suh. ❞
PAIRING ▸ mark lee x fem!reader
GENRES ▸ fluff, crack, high school au, best friends to lovers, childhood friends to lovers
WARNINGS ▸ profanity, underage drinking, honestly just a lot of fluff, johnny has a twin sister in this, mark drives with one hand on the steering wheel and i thought this deserved a separate warning, me fulfilling my mark lee gamer bf needs, fluffy kiss scenes, and mutual pining (but they think it’s unrequited love) ofc !!
SUMMARY ▸ in which it takes you six years to accept that you’re in love with mark lee. (it takes him one.)
PLAYLIST ▸ crush by lucian, tiffany day • falling for u by mxmtoon, peachy! • rising, rising - bassnectar remix by crywolf, bassnectar
WORD COUNT ▸ 10,514 words
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ i was very much in my mark feels so i wrote this spontaneously !! this actually feels short to me idk why but 10k in 2 days ??? im fucking crazy.......... but im free. hope u guys like it <3
YOU WERE ELEVEN YEARS OLD WHEN YOU FIRST ACKNOWLEDGED MARK LEE’S EXISTENCE.
He was Johnny Suh’s best friend—stuck at the hip since they were preschoolers. You had seen him around the house when you went to play with Johnny’s twin sister, Jia, but you never paid him any attention. At the age of eleven, you and Jia could care less about boys; you just wanted to see who could braid each other’s hair the fastest and see if you could fit into her mom’s evening gowns without her noticing. (Spoiler: you couldn’t.)
Since you lived down the street, all you had to do was walk a few minutes to get to Jia’s house. Mark, on the other hand, always rode his bike. Your mother didn’t allow you to go over on weekdays, so you practically lived at Jia’s house on the weekends. Now, though, it was summer vacation, so you could do whatever you liked. Like it was any other Saturday morning, you walked over to Jia’s in the summer heat.
Today, however, no one answered the door.
You stood on their porch, feeling a little lost. You weren’t too early, were you? Someone always opened the door around this time, but you couldn’t even tell if the lights were on inside.
While you were worrying at your bottom lip, wondering if you should just go back home, Mark rode onto the driveway in his green bicycle. You immediately recognized him as Johnny’s friend, but you felt a little awkward because you had barely interacted with him before. The only time you had a proper conversation with Mark was when Johnny brought you all otter pops and you were overly-enthusiastic about explaining the best way to eat the icy treat.
“I don’t think they’re home,” Mark spoke up after you both stood at the door for a while like lost puppies. “Shoot! I remember; they were going to the zoo today.”
You recalled Jia saying something about that a few days ago. That probably explained the reason why there was no car in the driveway.
“What do we do now?” you asked, feeling a bit defeated.
You didn’t want to go home. You knew that you would just be bored and find yourself rewatching a show that you didn’t even like. Plus, there was something about walking back home shortly after you declared you were going to Jia’s house that felt shameful.
“Uh,” Mark started, rubbing the back of his neck. He uselessly supplied, “I don’t know. We just go home, I guess.”
“I don’t wanna go home.”
“What’re you gonna do then?” he asked, scrunching up his nose at how stubborn you sounded. “Can’t you just hang out with another friend?”
“I don’t know where they live.”
Silence.
You weren’t sure what you were expecting him to say, but maybe part of you was waiting for him to offer his company. You didn’t know Mark Lee aside from being Johnny’s friend, but you did know a little bit about what they said about him at school. All the sixth grade girls had a crush on him, which was understandable considering Mark was very “first crush” material. Jia told you it was something about how considerate and nice he was to everyone—a trait that most sixth grade boys didn’t seem to have, apparently.
“Do you want a ride home then?” He gestured to his bike. “You’ll have to sit on the back, though.”
“Okay.”
You trusted Mark’s cycling abilities, but you didn’t trust your balance. You were rather scared of bicycles because you didn’t know how to ride one yourself. Naturally, Mark was surprised when you sat on the rack and wrapped your arms around his waist.
“Sorry,” you apologized. “I’m a little scared. Jia tried to teach me how to ride a bike before, but I kept falling.”
Mark laughed in response, and you were taken aback. Was he laughing at your vulnerability? You were starting to get the feeling that all boys were the same. Even though everyone talked big about Mark being the sweetest thing ever, he was probably just a carbon copy of Johnny Suh. (You still held a grudge from when Johnny stole your pudding last year.)
“It’s okay,” he reassured. “I’ll go slowly so you don’t fall.”
“Thanks.”
He was being especially careful, and you were thankful for that. Mostly, you were scared that you were going to tip over the bicycle somehow and let the both of you fall. Your mother would definitely get mad at you if she found out that you injured Mark.
It just so happened that your parents were friends with Jia’s family and Mark’s family. Although you never really spoke to Mark much, your mothers called each other nearly every day. If your mother discovered that Mark gave you a ride home and you repaid him by crashing his bike, she would probably invite him inside for dinner.
You didn’t even want to imagine dinner with your parents and Mark Lee. That would’ve probably been the most awkward situation to be thrown into.
So, you steeled your core and dared not to sway from side-to-side. You were going to make it home in one piece without sabotaging Mark’s bike.
Your strategy seemed to work well because you both got to your house safely. You felt invincible just knowing that you were unscathed and you didn’t have to wear a helmet. When you got off the bike, Mark was already turning to leave. Then, he looked back over his shoulder at you and smiled shyly.
“See you tomorrow,” he said, knowing you both would try your luck going to Johnny and Jia’s place again the next day.
You waved to him. “Thanks for the ride.”
“No problem.” He pressed his foot down on the pedal. “That’s what friends are for.”
With that, Mark cycled off, leaving you staring blankly into the distance. You were just replaying what he said, trying to make sense of it.
You guys were friends?
At the age of twelve, you grew a little closer to Mark.
Not close to the point of hanging out regularly, but Mark became your ride to Johnny and Jia’s occasionally. He would often offer you a ride if he stumbled upon you walking to their house. You graciously took his offer each time (partly because you hated being the last one there).
Being a middle schooler was weird, though. You didn’t really want to tell anyone about your random companionship with Mark. You were sure the girls would tease you about it incessantly, but it really wasn’t like that. It was safer if you just pretended like you had no relation to him.
“What color should I paint my nails?” Jia asked from where she was sitting on the floor, inspecting her long nails that she had just smeared with nail polish remover.
Ah, right. She was getting to that age, too, where she cared a lot about fashion and makeup.
A lot of the girls in your class were like that now. You weren’t going to lie and say you weren’t, but it was more of an interest reserved for your Pinterest boards. It wasn’t exactly like you owned any high fashion pieces that you could wear to middle school without getting dress-coded.
“Red,” you decided. “Christmas is coming up, so maybe you should do something that fits the holiday vibe.”
Jia gasped, like she had completely forgotten it was December. “You’re right! God, what would I ever do without you?” She shook her head as she fished for her red nail polish. “By the way, do you think Kim Doyoung from our math class likes you or something? I keep catching him staring at you.”
“What? No way.” Your cheeks heated up, but the thought of someone being romantically interested in you made you feel a little sick. You weren’t sure what to do with that information. “He’s probably just slacking off.”
“Let’s ask Johnny.”
“Huh? No!” you protested, but Jia was already getting up to pull her twin brother from his room.
He looked irritated with his sister as he begrudgingly followed Jia back to her room. Mark was right behind Johnny, as usual, looking awfully curious about whatever was going on. His lips curled into a lopsided smile as he watched Johnny and Jia bicker back and forth.
“You interrupted our game!” Johnny complained.
“I don’t see Mark complaining,” Jia fired back. “Come on, we just had a question for you. You’re friends with Kim Doyoung, right?”
“Uh, yeah, why?”
“Jia, shut up.” You covered your face with your hands and let out a whine. Your best friend just laughed at your misery.
“Oh?” Johnny smirked. “Does someone have a crush on—”
“No!” you exclaimed, horror all over your face at the mere suggestion. The three of them just laughed at you even more, but you had no idea what was so funny about such a horrifying situation. “I do not have a crush on Doyoung.”
“But we think he has a crush on her,” Jia clarified. “Do you know if he does?”
Johnny shrugged. “We don’t really talk about that kind of stuff.”
“What the hell?”
“Whoa.” Johnny’s eyes lit up with mischief. “Mom! Jia just swo—”
Jia slapped her hand over Johnny’s mouth to shut him up. The fear that flashed in her eyes was unmistakable, and you giggled a little upon seeing how desperate she was to not be told on. Jia had developed a bit of a cursing habit recently. You were surprised every time she did so, but she insisted that saying hell wasn’t as bad as saying fuck.
“Give it a rest!” Jia exclaimed. “I’ve heard you cuss, too, so I’ll just tell Mom the same thing.”
“Fine, fine,” Johnny caved, “but I really don’t know anything about Doyoung liking Y/N, so can Mark and I go back to playing Minecraft?”
Jia was persistent, though. You had to give her some credit for being so proactive about what she wanted to uncover about their friend.
“Mark,” she said, turning to the smaller boy, “do you know anything about who Doyoung likes?”
“Um… not really,” he answered. “We just talk about video games.”
“Ugh!” Frustrated, Jia walked back over to her nail polish station on the floor and plopped back down. “Boys are so boring!”
“We’re going back,” Johnny said. “Come on, Mark.”
You swore that Mark Lee met your eyes for the most peculiar second before he left. You weren’t sure if your eyes were playing tricks on you, but if you had been brave enough to admit it to yourself, you would’ve noticed the tips of his ears turning red.
On your thirteenth birthday, Mark’s present for you made you wonder if he knew you better than even your closest friends.
Your parents threw you quite a large birthday, which was nice, in retrospect. It was something you could look back on when you were an adult, and you could feel happy that your parents put so much effort into making your day feel special.
However, right now, you felt absolutely crappy because Jia couldn’t show up.
Johnny was sent in her place, instead. Your face was void of amusement as her twin brother performed his own glamorous rendition of “Happy Birthday” in Jia’s place. Apparently, she had specifically requested him to sing for you in front of all the parents. Although it was supposed to be humiliating for him, you were feeling the embarrassment instead.
So, halfway into your own birthday party, you retreated to your room. Everyone was busy socializing, so you had some time to wallow in self-pity before you had to go back out to cut your cake.
While you were sulking on your bed, a knock came at your door. You assumed it was one of your parents trying to talk you into coming back out, so you offered a soft “come in.”
It was not your parents. It was Mark.
“What are you doing here?” he asked. “It’s your birthday party. Shouldn’t you be celebrating with everyone?”
You hugged your knees to your chest and shook your head. “It doesn’t feel the same without Jia.”
Mark laughed a little. “You’re so stubborn when it comes to her. You were like this when she went to the zoo, too.”
Your cheeks heated up a little from embarrassment. You couldn’t believe Mark remembered that from two years ago. It wasn’t exactly the impression you wanted to leave on him, but only your childish qualities seemed to come out when he was around.
“Why are you here?” you asked him this time.
He paused for a moment, as if he himself forgot why he knocked on your door. Then, Mark’s eyes lit up and he held out a poorly-wrapped present that he had been hiding behind his back. You stifled your smile at the sight of the messy tape job and lopsided ribbon.
He grinned. “I got you a present!”
“Can I open it?”
“If you want—yeah.”
You unwrapped the gift wrap carefully, even though there was no salvaging its remains, and Mark watched you intently. You sat criss-cross on your bed and removed the wrapping until you were holding a photo album in your hands. A picture of you and Jia from when you were nine years old was on the cover, the both of you smiling with missing teeth and popsicle-stained lips.
Your lips parted in surprise as you flipped through the album, biting back a smile as you looked through all the pictures of you and Jia. There were some of Johnny and Mark with you guys sprinkled in there, too.
“Did you make this yourself?” you asked, surprised.
Mark nodded shyly. “I asked our parents for pictures and printed them out,” he said. He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. “I hope you like—”
“I love it,” you cut him off, still staring at the album. A bright smile crossed your face, and you leaned over to press a chaste kiss to Mark’s cheek. “Thank you, Mark.”
On your thirteenth birthday, you made Mark Lee the color of a tomato.
You were fourteen years old when you had your first kiss with Mark Lee.
The progression in your relationship with Mark was a bit of a jump from last year, you realized. You weren’t sure if it was because his family was being invited over more or if it was just convenient having so many classes with him, but he ended up hanging out with you in your room multiple days a week. You weren’t sure what to think of it at first, but soon it had become natural, like how it was for you to go over to Jia’s place.
He would often find himself laying on your bed, playing a random game on his phone that he would lose interest in after a few weeks. Two weeks ago, it was Cookie Run, and Mark was determined to get you hooked onto the game for a while. He convinced you to start an account with him, and neither Jia or Johnny could understand when the both of you started discussing the lore of the Cookie Kingdom.
“It’s GingerBrave,” Mark muttered when Johnny’s mother set a plate of cookies for the four to share.
“A lot of GingerBraves,” you replied with a frown. You took a bite of the cookie and sniffled. “He tastes so good.”
Jia stared at the two of you in disbelief. “You guys are such weirdos.”
If you thought middle school was weird, entering high school was even more strange. Everyone’s hormones were on the rise, and you saw couples getting together all around you. Slowly, you noticed conversations with your friend groups go from what anime you were currently watching to what boy you were currently crushing on.
Apparently, Rin Okumura wasn’t an acceptable answer anymore.
It was about halfway through your first year of high school when you felt like you had fallen so far behind. As your friends started actively pursuing the guys they liked, you were just waiting around for something to happen. There was no one that made your heart burst into a thousand pieces, which Jia claimed was the way she felt around Lee Jeno from her biology class. You realized you were absolutely inexperienced when Hwang Yeji announced her new boyfriend to the group.
“So, yeah,” she answered Jimin, who was pestering her for information, “he just asked me out last night, so I guess we’re dating now.”
You blinked. Was it really that easy? All you had to do was just ask someone and see if you could hit it off?
“Have you guys done anything yet?” Jia asked.
“It’s barely been a day!” Yeji exclaimed, but she burst into giggles when she seemed to recall a detail. “But… he did ask me out on a date this weekend, so we might kiss.”
Your table exploded at this. All the girls were giggling and teasing Yeji. Maybe your expectations were set far too high by shoujo anime, but you couldn’t understand how Yeji could fall for someone only a month after her last boyfriend. Your inexperience in the dating realm made you wonder if it was just a concept you’d only be able to grasp once you had experienced it.
“Y/N,” Kim Minjeong drawled, poking your shoulder. “How about you? Any cute guy you’ve had your eyes on?”
“Watch her have the hots for Jia’s brother,” Yoo Jimin teased, causing Jia to choke on her food.
“Ew!” you exclaimed. “Don’t even joke about that, Jimin!”
You shuddered at the thought of dating your best friend’s twin brother. In all fourteen years of your life, you had never indulged that idea—not even once. Not only was Johnny Suh off limits, but you just couldn’t see him as anything other than a (slightly annoying) big brother.
“Wait, then…” Jia started, pausing to clear her throat and point her fork in your direction, “how about Mark?”
“Mark Lee?” Kim Yerim chimed in. “He’s really cute.”
You seized up at the mention of his name. It wasn’t like you disliked Mark (in fact, you liked him a lot more than you did a few years ago), but you were suddenly embarrassed to be mentioned with him in this context. You suspected Jia felt weird about you two being “shipped” by your friends, too. You often felt like she had some expectation that your relationship with both Mark and Johnny was supposed to be platonic forever. Blurring the lines between your friendship meant sabotaging the group dynamic, and that was unacceptable.
You decided to laugh it off. “I can’t see Mark in a romantic way at all. He calls me ‘dude.’ I can’t date a guy whose term of endearment for me is the same one he uses for Johnny Suh.”
Jimin hummed in response. “Fair enough, but I’m still betting you guys are gonna kiss at some point.”
“Jimin!” you whined.
“I totally get that vibe, too.” Yeji had a lazy smirk on her face as she pressed you. “He’s definitely gonna be your first kiss, Y/N.” When she caught onto your exasperation, she added, “Come on! He’s not even that bad!”
You pointed out Jia’s grossed-out expression. “Look—even Jia thinks you’re full of shit.”
“Don’t mind me.” Jia tried to wave it off. “I’ve just known you two for too long, so it feels weird thinking about you guys being mushy with each other.”
“Yeah, see? Not gonna happen.”
“What I’m surprised about is that Y/N hasn’t had her first kiss yet,” Minjeong said.
You pressed your lips together in a thin line. Your first plan was to ignore the observation and continue forking salad into your mouth, but everyone’s attention was now on your innocent self. You were just waiting for someone to make a comment about your “virgin lips.”
“She’s pure,” Jia defended. “No one is allowed to go near Y/N’s virgin lips.”
There we go.
(“Except Mark!” Jimin teased.)
For some reason, it felt strange to be labeled that way in your friend group. It made you feel like you were ten steps behind everyone else—not that it was a competition to check off your experiences or anything, but you just wanted to have your own stories to share sometimes.
Your ringer went off right at that moment, and you nearly jumped when you saw that it was a text from Mark himself. It was like he had some sixth sense that detected people talking behind his back.
mark: hey:) can i come over today lol
you: sure
you: actually can i ask u a favor
mark: shoot
you: i’ll tell you when u come over
mark: aw whaaat
mark: you can’t leave me hanging like that!
you: sorryy gotta keep u on ur toes for a bit
mark: btw the new boss baby movie’s out
mark: wanna watch it with me?
you: bruhh boss baby? LOL
mark: consider for a moment the human baby
mark: helpless
mark: irrational
mark: ruthlessly monopolizing the mother’s teat
mark: now
mark: imagine this same baby a titan of capitalist industry
mark: a baby, yes
mark: but also… a boss
you: ?? damn
you: im sold!!!
you: ur such a weirdo sometimes
mark: but you laughed! didnt you
you: maaaaybe :))
“Earth to Y/N,” Jia called, snapping her fingers in front of your face to get your attention. You snapped out of your trance and stared at her, confused. “The bell rang, so let’s get going.” You nodded and started gathering your belongings to walk with Jia. Before you both left the cafeteria, she smirked and pointed out, “You were smiling down at your phone for a while, you know?”
“W-what?” you spluttered out. “I was? I didn’t even notice.”
Jia raised a brow before she shrugged and linked arms with you. “Anyway, are you excited for Homecoming?”
That was right. The school dance completely slipped your mind (and part of you could blame that on the student council for hardly promoting). Jia had been tossing the idea of asking Jeno back and forth, even though you and all of your friends had already told her she should just go for it. She said she would rather just go alone instead of being rejected.
“Sort of,” you answered. “Are you still asking Jeno?”
Jia scrunched up her nose at the thought. “I feel like the timing isn’t right, so I’d rather just go with you. Unless… you already have a date?”
You laughed. “Me? No way.”
“Hey, anything’s possible.” Jia giggled as she walked ahead of you to file into your classroom. “Even Mark Lee has a date!”
You froze up on the spot.
What?
For the rest of the day, you felt like you were in a daze. You couldn’t think straight in class, and whenever someone told you something, you needed them to repeat it a couple more times for you to fully process what they were saying. It was the same when you got home and saw Mark waiting in front of your driveway.
“We should’ve just walked together,” he said as you approached him.
After you made him repeat his words a few more times, you shrugged in response. Instead of keeping your composure and inviting Mark inside normally, you blurted out the question that had been on your mind all day.
“Are you going with anyone to Homecoming?” you asked, mentally cursing when your voice wavered at the end. You sounded like you were jealous or something, and that made you feel sick to your stomach.
“Yeah.”
Oh. You felt numb.
Mark continued, “Johnny and I are going.”
Oh. You were an idiot.
The flush of relief you felt made you feel like an idiot. You had no reason to be feeling so giddy over Mark not going with anyone to the dance. Maybe it was because he had been your single partner-in-crime for the past year that you weren’t ready for him to leave the nest.
“Sounds fun,” was all you could say in response as you led Mark into your house. You made your way upstairs to your room, already shrugging your backpack off once you got halfway up the stairs. “Jia and I are going together, too.”
“Oh, cool.”
Mark looked like he wanted to say more, but he left it at that.
“Jia said you had a date, so I assumed you asked someone out,” you explained, then raised a brow at Mark, “unless… you asked Johnny as a—”
“Oh my god, you’re insufferable.” Mark let out a petulant whine, burying his face in his hands. “We’re going with the whole friend group! Except Jaehyun ‘cause he’s got a date.”
You laughed and tossed your backpack onto the floor, right beside your desk. Mark did the same and slumped back into your chair. His face was flushed from defending himself before, and you couldn’t help but find it a little adorable.
“What was that favor you were asking for, by the way?” he asked.
You felt hot immediately.
You hadn’t expected him to bring it up again, especially when you spent all of your class time mentally berating yourself for thinking of such a thing. It wasn’t your fault that people kept nagging you about your first kiss, though.
You sat back on your bed, willing yourself to look down at your thighs instead of Mark Lee. The way he was studying your face intently was making you go crazy because he was probably thinking you had some innocent request, but what was eating at your mind could actually tip the scales of your purely platonic friendship.
Yet. there was that flicker of doubt in the back of your mind that this request would actually affect your relationship with Mark. He was such a caring individual that you couldn’t see him distancing himself from you over this.
“Um… well, I just had a little question, but you don’t actually have to do it if you don’t want to,” you started in a small voice. You were quiet for a second, and Mark let out a little hum for you to continue, so you asked, “Could you be my first kiss?”
You knew asking him was letting Jimin be victorious in her claim that Mark would be your first kiss, and while that did put you off a little, you couldn’t think of anyone else you would be comfortable with. You thought of many possibilities of kissing any other guy in your class, and all of them sounded absolutely frightening. The mere image of kissing Lee Donghyuck, the loud class clown in your history class, made you want to crawl in a hole and die.
Plus, this was for practice. That was all it was.
No underlying feelings or anything running under the surface.
When you were brave enough to look up at Mark’s reaction, you were taken aback by how red his face was. His mouth hung open comically, and he was opening and closing it over and over again, completely lost for words.
“You can say no!” you added, wondering if you fucked up.
At that moment, Mark seemed to regain his composure. He stood up and walked over to you, bending down so that you two were eye-level. Your breath was caught in your throat by his sudden display of boldness; you didn’t expect a move like this from Mark Lee.
“Okay, let’s do it,” he said, dark eyes boring into yours, “but don’t you want your first kiss to be with someone special?”
You bit your lip. “I just want it to be with someone I’m comfortable with.” You hesitated a little when he nodded. “Are you sure about this?” you asked, and even though you didn’t have any feelings for Mark, your heart was going crazy at the thought of kissing him.
This was going to be your first kiss. You could kiss dozens of other guys after this, but you would forever have Mark Lee as the boy who was your first kiss.
“Yeah,” he replied. “It’s just a kiss, right?”
“Right.”
You glanced at Mark’s lips. They looked soft, and you wondered how they’d feel against yours. Well, you supposed you were going to find out soon, but that didn’t help calm your nerves at all. Oddly enough, you hoped Mark was a bad kisser because you didn’t know what you would do if you felt fireworks or butterflies.
You met Mark’s eyes shyly and then closed them when he leaned in, and you met him halfway, pressing your lips to his in a gentle kiss.
“How was that?” Mark asked when he pulled back. You almost let it go undetected with how dim the lights were, but you picked up on the faintest of blushes crossing his cheeks.
“Skin,” you answered. When Mark snickered, you clarified, “It just felt like skin against skin.”
“Did we do it wrong then?”
“I think it’s just because I don’t like you in that way,” you answered.
He laughed at this before straightening back up and clapping his hands once. “Well, I’m honored to take your first kiss, at the very least.”
There was one lie you let slip, though.
The kiss didn’t just feel like skin against skin—well, it did, but you happened to like it a lot more than you had anticipated. You were shocked by the little zing that traveled down your spine when Mark’s lips moved against yours. There was no slobber, no awkwardness, and certainly no repulse from your end.
It felt nice. In fact, you’d do it again, if you could.
“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” Mark said, and when you looked at him, humming quizzically, he smirked. You weren’t sure why, but your heart was thundering in your chest. “That was my first kiss, too.”
You realized Mark Lee was extremely popular at the age of fifteen. A little too popular for your liking.
This revelation hit you when you heard your AP World History project group discussing the ranking of cute guys in your grade. Mark Lee seemed to be vying for either first or second with Lee Taeyong, and you wondered if he had been an unexpected dark horse this entire time.
“I’m telling you, Mark has potential!” Lia gushed. “He’s cute right now, but I guarantee he’s gonna have the biggest glow-up after we graduate.”
“What do you think, Y/N? You’re friends with him, right?” Jimin asked.
You shrugged. “Yeah, but I don’t really think about him in that way. I’ve known him for too long, you know?”
Jimin hummed. “I guess it’s weird if you’ve watched him grow up, so I get that,” she said before letting a giggle slip. “I still think he’s gonna be your first kiss, though.”
“He was,” you confirmed.
“What?!” Lia exclaimed.
You weren’t sure if they were shocked or impressed (or both), but both Jimin and Lia stared at you, completely flabbergasted. You shrunk back when you noticed Jia was acting like she wasn’t bothered. You expected her to explode at the news, but her disinterested reaction made you feel worse about sharing.
“It wasn’t that big of a deal and it didn’t really mean anything,” you said. “That’s why I never said anything about it.”
Jimin’s chest puffed up in triumph. “God, I’m a genius, aren’t I?”
“Look what you did, Y/N.” Lia tutted. “This is gonna get to Jimin’s head now.”
You laughed alongside them, but part of you felt guilty for not telling Jia before. You weren’t sure if it was just you overthinking, but there was clear tension for the rest of the day between you two.
A week went by, and Jia was still pretending like nothing happened.
That was, until she brought up your kiss while you were studying for the PSAT at her house over the weekend. Jia and Johnny attended private tutoring together, so you were surprised she had the energy to study separately with you, too. She took it very seriously—even letting you borrow about ten workbooks so that you could practice on your own time.
“So, you and Mark kissed, huh?” she asked, twirling her pencil between her fingers.
You choked at the mention, eyes wide as you whipped your head around to make sure the coast was clear. You had to play it safe when Mark could’ve been around the house at any given moment. He and Johnny normally cooped themselves up in the makeshift “man cave” that was actually the garage.
Jia laughed at your reaction. “Don’t worry. Johnny and Mark went camping with the others this weekend. That guy just does whatever he wants now that he has his license. What a jerk; he doesn’t even give me a ride to school.”
You smiled a little. Johnny had been boasting about being the first to get a car for a while, and everyone knew he was going to get his license first because he was a little older and had been the most prepared for it. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve suspected that he was driving illegally before he even took lessons.
But, first things first: back to the kiss.
“Yeah, we kissed,” you admitted, cheeks heating up yet again. “It was last year in my room.”
“In your room?” she pressed, a hint of a smirk ghosting her lips. “Y/N, you dirty little—”
“No, it wasn’t like that!” you exclaimed. “It was… gentle. We barely even touched!”
Jia hummed. “Well, was it good at least?”
There was no point in hiding anything from Jia, but you were too embarrassed to admit that you liked kissing Mark Lee. You couldn’t bring yourself to lie to her, though, so you just stuffed your face into your SAT workbook.
“What are you doing?” Jia asked.
Voice muffled, you replied, “Absorbing information.”
“Tell me about your kiss!”
“It’s embarrassing! You didn’t even ask me about it for a week after you found out!”
“Well, I figured you’d tell me at your own pace, considering you didn’t talk about it for a year.”
You pouted. “It’s just—I don’t know. It’s weird.”
“It’s not that weird,” Jia tried. “If you don’t tell me, I’m just going to come to the reasonable conclusion that he had food in his mouth while you were making out.”
“Gross!” you complained. “And we did not make out, we just kissed once.” You raised your head to look at her, finally saying, “It was… pretty nice, I guess.”
Jia bit back a smile and huffed. “I always knew you two were gonna get together.”
“We’re not!”
When you turned sixteen, Mark started making your heart flutter.
You weren’t sure where exactly it started. Perhaps it was the fact that he started growing into his features and maturing, but you started to see him in a new light. It was a bit frustrating, really. Whenever you caught sight of him, he just looked like he was glowing.
Other girls took notice of this, too, and maybe that was why you were ticked off.
Mark was completely dense, though, so he never talked about other girls around you. You wondered if he even realized how much attention he got, but you also gagged at the thought of the attention getting to his head.
You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, but Mark Lee was your little treasure. You couldn’t imagine him having a friend that he was closer to than yourself (other than Johnny, of course). You two had gotten so close that he became the person you thought of whenever you found a funny meme; the person you called whenever you had something to rant about; the person you confided in whenever you needed advice.
Of course, you were extremely close with Jia, and she could fill the gaps that Mark would leave if he found someone else. The problem was just that Mark Lee had too big of an impact on your life. He took up so much space that you weren’t sure what to do with all the emptiness if he left.
mark: hey
mark: you should join my discord server
you: LOL what?? you have a discord server?
mark: im trying to become a streamer
you: no way
you: okay i’ll support
you: are you streaming rn?
mark: i’ll let you watch me game in vc
mark: but only you
you: wowww i feel special
mark: https://discord.gg/mrklee
you: omg the link’s customized too
you: i'm friends with a celebrity
mark: hahaha nahhh
You clicked on the link to join Mark’s server, as per his request. The impressive amount of members made you want to start teasing him for not inviting you sooner. When you entered the main chat, though, Mark was already redirecting you to the voice channel.
mark: yooo y/n go to #stream
y/n: ooookay
johnny: 2/2 vc ???? romantic ;)
mark: stfu johnny
y/n: ooh johnny’s here too
johnny: what’s up
mark: dude you’re barely active here
johnny: yeah lol i only got on to make fun of you
You giggled at their back-and-forth and joined the voice channel. Mark was already in there, humming to himself while scrolling through his Steam account to see what game he wanted to play. You two never called over Discord, but for some reason, it felt so much more intimidating than a regular phone call. Part of it had to do with the fact that he turned on his camera, so you could see him with his messy hair and glasses.
“Oh, you’re here,” he greeted in a huskier voice than usual. You wondered if his voice was so low because he was sleepy, but it was relaxing. “I kind of wanted to play Undertale.”
“Mm… I’ll watch whatever you play,” you replied, clicking on the “join stream” button. You turned on your camera, too, and Mark chuckled at the sight of you.
“You tired?” he asked, noting how your blanket was up to your nose as you laid in bed.
“A little,” you mumbled. “You do realize it’s past midnight, right?”
“That means the night’s still young,” Mark replied with a grin. “I’ll stay on call, though, if you fall asleep.”
You giggled. “Like a sleepover.”
“Exactly.” Mark ran his hand through his hair. “You know I got a car recently?”
“You did? I haven’t even gotten my license yet.”
“You’re hella slow.”
“Shut up,” you whispered, trying to suppress your giggles because you didn’t want to wake your parents up. Actually, you thought it would be worse if they caught you talking to Mark past midnight. When he launched Undertale, you said, “I’ve never seen someone play this game before.”
“I’m gonna use your name, then,” he said before entering your name for the main character.
You watched Mark play for a while, but you were mostly just listening to his voice and watching his reactions to the game. (That didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy watching the gameplay, though. You found the storyline very interesting, and you expressed that to Mark, who looked proud that he was able to get you hooked on a video game.)
Eventually, your eyelids started feeling heavy, and you were mumbling your responses to Mark. Just watching him made you so sleepy, especially when he was wearing that gray sweater that made him look so comfortable and warm. You were getting to a level of tiredness where you couldn’t even think proper thoughts or formulate coherent sentences.
When you said something about a gopher at a supermarket, Mark started laughing at you.
“You should sleep, Y/N,” he suggested.
“I don’t wanna,” you mumbled. “I wanna stay on call… and watch you play.”
“You sound really tired. I can always play tomorrow.”
You whined. “I’m not leaving. I feel so warm and comfy in bed, and your voice is really nice… your sweater looks nice, too. I’m gonna steal it one day, and you won’t be able to stop me.”
“Oh?” Mark smiled. “Are you now?”
If you still had your wits about you, this situation wouldn’t even be unraveling before you. It was like you couldn’t even control the word vomit spilling from your mouth, and even though you were absolutely embarrassed, it was impossible to defend yourself when you were falling asleep so fast. Before you knew it, you were mumbling nonsense as you lulled yourself to sleep.
Just before the rest of the world slipped away from you, Mark Lee’s laugh and voice rang in your ear.
“Sweet dreams, Y/N.”
It had been a few days, and you were still reeling from the humiliation during the Discord call you had with Mark.
“God,” you mumbled, “it was so weird, Jia. I was saying the stupidest shit when we were in the voice channel.”
“How weird is ‘weird'?’” she asked.
You cringed before you explained, “I told him I was gonna steal his sweater.”
She guffawed. “That’s something a girlfriend would say, Y/N.”
“I know!”
It was safe to say that you couldn’t confide in anyone else about this situation. It wasn’t like Mark was the one who was saying anything borderline flirtatious that night; it was all you, and that felt worse. Thankfully, though, your friend didn’t bring up anything about the night to embarrass you.
The one time he did, though, was when you asked Mark if he wanted to go to the pumpkin patch with you.
None of your other friends were free. You thought it would be a good opportunity to take pictures together, especially since Jimin had been complaining about the whole group not having pictures together. However, the day you wanted to go to the pumpkin patch, Jia was out of town, Jimin was down with a fever, and Minjeong was at her grandmother’s house. Everyone decided to reschedule the group hanging out together.
You really wanted a pumpkin, though, so Mark wound up picking you up from your house in the evening. He was fiddling with his phone when you walked up to the passenger’s side door, and you could tell he was itching for you to compliment his new Toyota Camry.
“Nice car,” you decided to say, and his smile got brighter. It was endearing, to say the least. “Definitely an upgrade from your bike.”
Mark decided to reciprocate, but nothing could have prepared you for the words that were about to come out of his mouth.
“Cute outfit.”
You were stupid. You were absolutely stupid because you spent the entire car ride thinking about those two words.
That, and the way Mark drove with one hand on the steering wheel.
When you both reached the pumpkin patch, you were dumbfounded when there was absolutely no one there. Mark gave you a dirty look when he pulled up to the front, leaning back in his seat and sighing.
“Y/N, did you actually check if they were open today?” he asked slowly.
“I-I mean… they were open on this day last year!” you defended. “When I mentioned going in the groupchat, no one even said anything about the pumpkin patch not being open yet. Actually… they’re all as stupid as I am, so I guess that makes sense.” Mark groaned, and you normally would’ve just laughed such a situation off, but you were feeling unusually sensitive. “I’m really sorry.”
Shocked by how upset you sounded, Mark straightened up and looked at you. “Hey, it’s not that big of a deal.” He reached over to ruffle your hair. “We can just get ice cream or something.”
You were frowning, but the mention of ice cream perked you right up. You nodded quickly, rubbing your arms as you sat back.
“Are you cold?” he asked.
“Huh?”
Before you could confirm or deny, Mark pulled off his sweater. You bit back a smile as you watched him struggle in the middle of the process, but you were flustered again when he handed it to you. You let it lay on your lap for a moment before Mark told you to wear it.
“You said you were gonna steal my sweater,” he reminded with a smirk, “so there you go.”
You wore his stupid sweater while you did your best to ignore your equally stupid heart doing backflips.
At the age of seventeen, you went to your first high school party.
It felt a bit silly that you were just going to your first party in your senior year of high school, and you felt like the experience was overdue. Jia told you that it was never too late to start checking stuff off your bucket list, and you might as well get started before you were going to graduate.
Jia had invited you plenty of times in the past, and even Johnny had tried to convince you to show up to some, but you had always refused. In the past, you were more wary of what your parents would think about you coming home late. Now that you had a car, though, you felt more comfortable going out on your own. There was more leniency from your parent’s side, too.
Lee Taeyong was throwing the party this time, and everyone was going since he was the most popular guy at school. Plus, his house was huge and Jia gave his parties excellent ratings. It was rumored that there was a 66.67% chance of the police showing up to shut it down, and apparently that was a good thing.
Jia was stoked to take you to a party—even more so when Na Jaemin from AP Chemistry offered to drive you two. He was planning to take Renjun, Jeno and Chenle, but Chenle flaked at the last minute because he got floor tickets to a basketball game. So, Jaemin now had two open seats in his car, and Jia would never turn down an offer to spend time with Jeno.
When you got a text from Jaemin later that night, saying he was five minutes away from Jia’s place, you were panicking.
“Jia, did you die in that bathroom?” you called, knocking on the door. “Jaemin’s gonna be here in five!”
The door flew open not a second after, causing you to flinch and step back. Your best friend held up a bottle of Pink Whitney, a mischievous grin crossing her face. You swallowed thickly, bracing yourself for what was about to happen.
The dreaded pregame.
“Did you get that from your parents?” you asked, recalling the dinner parties where they’d pull out wine bottles to share with the other parents.
She shook her head. “You know my senior friend who graduated? Baekhyun?” You nodded, remembering the cute senior that Jia was obsessed with for a while. “I asked him to get me some. It was just, like, ten dollars,” she said. “Can’t let my parents find out, though, so I hid it under the sink.”
“He’s still around? Shouldn’t he be in college?” you asked, snickering as Jia poured way more than a shot into her cup. “You’re gonna kill us before we even get to the party, Jia.”
“We’ll live, and Jaemin’s driving so it’s fine!” With that, she handed you your cup, and you winced at how much she had poured into the cup.
jaemin: here
“Wait, Jia, he’s already here,” you said.
“Drink up, drink up,” she urged. “Quickly.”
In the heat of the moment, you pinched your nose and downed the bitter alcohol in one go, your best friend following suit. There was definitely more than one shot in that cup, and you decided you weren’t going to let Jia pour the shots by herself ever again. She made fun of you for plugging your nose, but you weren’t sure if you could drink it if you smelled it, too. The taste was already overwhelming enough for you.
Afterward, you both got into the back of Jaemin’s car while you kept complaining about why you had to be in the middle seat. When you saw Mark where Renjun was supposed to be, you froze up.
He raised his brows. “What’s up?”
“Where’s Renjun?” you asked. You checked the front seat, but Jeno was queuing up songs on the aux. “Oh, hi, Jeno.”
“Hey, Y/N.” He craned his neck to grin at Jia. “You look pretty.”
“Renjun said he has to grind his essay out tonight,” Mark said, “so I took his place in Jaemin’s car because I don’t trust Hyuck’s driving, even if he is sober.”
You felt like you were interrupting something.
You slid into the middle seat, and your body was already feeling hot. Your head was spinning a little, and you barely noticed Jaemin starting the car.
“Are you drunk already?” Mark asked, and you shook your head, mumbling something incoherent. “What’d you even drink?” When you hardly responded, he looked over at Jia. “Did you pour her shot? She’s done for.”
“You’re supposed to pour it to the first line on those solo cups, Jia,” Jaemin scolded. “At this point, you’re better off waterfalling it.”
“Y/N,” Mark murmured, and you let your head drop onto his shoulder at the mere call of your name. “Whoa, you good?”
You nodded. “Just gonna lie down for a little,” you mumbled, slurring your words.
The rest of the car ride was a blur, and you were completely zoned out while Jaemin started talking about how he blacked out at Taeyong’s last party. You picked up on some bits of info here and there, like Jaemin being invited for dinner by Taeyong’s mother when she found him passed out by the pool.
When he parked on the street, Mark was the one who helped you out of the car, holding onto you tightly so that you wouldn’t fall. You were so preoccupied with trying to walk straight that you ignored Jia giggling at you and Mark together.
“Do you need help?” Mark asked. “I can get you some water.”
Thankfully, though, you felt better than you did in the car. You supposed the initial wave of nausea was all you needed to get over your pregame shots. You politely rejected Mark’s offer, but you still allowed him to guide you into Taeyong’s house, guiding you with one hand on your waist so he didn’t lose you in the crowd.
“Y/N!” Donghyuck called from the counter. His eyes flitted to Mark’s hand on your waist, and his smirk grew.
Everyone started crowding the backyard, so you had more space to move around in the house and be spotted by tiring individuals (read: Donghyuck).
“You’re up to something,” you observed. “I see it in your eyes, Hyuck.”
“I was gonna dare you to match my shots tonight,” Hyuck said, “unless you’re gonna pussy out.”
Mark frowned. “Hyuck, she’s already dru—”
“I’ll do it,” you announced, and Donghyuck cheered to your declaration. You were sure it was a stupid idea because any rational thought in your head clouded over. Nevertheless, you took the red solo cup with vodka that Donghyuck handed you. “Already?”
“A celebratory shot,” he explained, ignoring Mark’s death glare and holding his cup out for a moment to clink against yours. “Here’s to dying of alcohol poisoning tonight!”
“Cheers,” you said, and you downed the shot. The fuzzy feeling came back, and you leaned back against Mark.
Donghyuck chuckled. “She’s so lightweight.”
Mark stroked your hair gently before trying to guide you to the couch. “I’m gonna find some water, okay? Stay here.”
“I don’t think I’m physically capable of moving right now, but okay.”
Shortly after he left, Mark returned with a glass of water. He sat next to you and placed his hand on the small of your back to get you to sit up. Once you did, he held the cup to your lips and had you drink slowly. It was like you were being pampered by your boyfriend.
“Mark,” you started once you finished drinking your water, “why do you keep taking care of me? You should go have fun, too.”
He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I can’t just leave you like this.”
“I won’t be mad if you do,” you said. “I mean, you do realize how suspicious you look, right?”
Not again. You weren’t able to filter the words coming out of your mouth right now, and you were terrified that you were going to let something idiotic slip.
“Suspicious?” he asked. “What do you mean?”
“Like… we look like a couple,” you mumbled. “You act like my boyfriend.”
For a moment, you were sure that Mark would back off immediately. You suspected that your comment would mess with his head, making him rethink everything he had been doing or saying. You were afraid that he would start putting up a boundary between you two, daring not to cross it for your sake.
Instead, though, the look on his face was the complete opposite of what you expected. There was a fire in his eyes, and he looked a little proud of himself once he processed what you said. It was like he had been waiting for you to realize that this whole time.
“Do you hate people thinking we’re dating?” he asked.
You faltered. “Uh… no? Isn’t it weird, though?”
“Nah, I don’t think it’s weird,” Mark replied. You bit your lip and tried to think about it from another perspective, like you were trying to grasp how to perceive your relationship with Mark in a more platonic way. “Besides, they’re half-right.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have had a crush on you since, like, forever,” he said casually, like he was stating how many centimeters were in an inch, “so, I guess it looks weird for good reason.”
You weren’t sure if Mark Lee had realized that he just completely flipped your world upside-down.
For the rest of that night, you were unable to think about anything but Mark’s words. He didn’t elaborate on it afterward because Jaemin started dragging him around, and then he was taking care of you when you were throwing up in one of the toilets. You also happened to stumble into the bathroom that Jia and Jeno were making out in, but nothing was going to stop you from puking your guts out into the toilet. As Mark held your hair back and rubbed your back, you were in utter amazement at how he could keep his feelings at bay while being an incredible friend.
So, the night went by without further elaboration on his sudden confession.
You thought it would bury itself under the sand so that you and Mark could go back to being friends. However, you weren’t sure if you wanted to go back to how things were now that this was brought to your attention.
It wasn’t like you completely ignored all the signs. There was that little feeling in the back of your head that screamed at you for being an idiot whenever Mark said or did something odd. However, you always tried to write it off as a kind gesture because you two were childhood friends.
You were starting to realize that part of you never wanted Mark to confess because you were scared of accepting your own feelings for him. You would rather lie to yourself over and over again to keep up the illusion of a friendship you had with him.
You were going to have to do so sooner or later, though, because you received a call from him the day after the party in the middle of the day. You had already called Jia that morning and told her everything that happened. Although she was hungover and barely recalled Mark even being at the party, Jia offered solid advice after interrogating you with several questions as to whether you liked him back or not.
(Later, Jia seemed to recollect memories from the night—ones that you forgot completely. Apparently, your feet were killing you toward the end, and Mark gave you a piggyback ride to the car. He even took off his jacket and put it over your shoulders because you kept complaining about how cold it was. Jia proceeded to explain how Mark nearly tripped over his feet and fell forward because you kissed the back of his neck to thank him.)
You weren’t sure what kept you from admitting your feelings. For some reason, even though the answer was clear in your head, the words “I don’t know” kept leaving your mouth.
“Hey,” Mark greeted you when you picked up. “I’m actually outside. Can I come in?”
You were surprised, but you agreed, “Yeah, just ring the doorbell. I’d come open it, but I’m too lazy to get out of bed.”
“Hangover that bad, huh?” he asked, and right on cue, the doorbell went off. You heard your mother rushing to open it, and Mark mumbled a “see you” before he hung up to greet your mom. When he walked upstairs, he held out a plastic bag to you. “I wasn’t sure what you were craving, so I just bought ice cream.”
“You’re kidding.” You took the bag and took the small carton of Ben & Jerry’s cookies and cream ice cream. You pouted a little. “Mark, you didn’t have to.”
He sat on the edge of your bed and shrugged. “I mean, you know why I did.”
You felt flustered. You didn’t expect him to bring it up again so suddenly, especially since you hadn’t mentioned it yet. You thought he would have waited to make sure you didn’t forget his confession after all the drinks you had last night, but Mark was going in for the kill.
“I’m not gonna pressure you into answering until you’re ready,” he said, “but I just want you to know that I’ve been serious about my feelings for a while. I didn’t just confess to you because I wanted to throw it out there. I’ve had a crush on you since we were, like, twelve.”
Oddly enough, you felt like your word vomit was worsening right now rather than when you were drunk last night. You had just suppressed so many feelings that they all came out at once. Maybe, all these years, you just weren’t ready to be loved. Maybe you were clinging to loneliness because that was more comforting at the time.
Now that your feelings were laying bare in front of Mark, though, you felt like it was high time that you opened up to him.
“I never considered us dating for real, if I’m gonna be honest,” you said. “We’ve been friends for so long that I thought you were just being nice to me, or that we were so close that you just treated me nicer than other people. I know that sounds really stupid of me, but… I really liked being the only girl you were the closest to, and I don’t think I would’ve been able to stand seeing you with someone else.
“I felt really stupid for the longest time. My heart kept racing when I thought of you, and I kept overthinking every little thing. I kept lying to everyone that I didn’t feel anything or care about whether we got together or not, and I played off every single time I felt something for you. I don’t know why I couldn’t just put what I wanted first for once, but I was so afraid that I was overanalyzing your kindness for something more. I would choose being heartbroken over losing our friendship any day.
“I thought a lot about it last night and today, but I wanna try accepting my feelings,” you finished. “If we’re bound to be something, then why not start now, you know?”
For a second, you thought you had scared Mark off with your entire rant. He was just staring at you with his mouth hung open, and you were wondering if you still had time to knock him out cold so that he could forget everything you dumped on him.
Before you knew it, Mark was dipping his head to press his lips against yours. You were so stunned that you didn’t reciprocate for a moment until you felt him smile against your mouth. Slowly, you wrapped your arms around your neck and pulled him in closer.
Mark was more confident this time, more aggressive than the first time you had kissed him on this very bed. His hands were flat against your sides, sliding up and down in soothing motions. This time, however, the heat in your cheeks was accompanied by butterflies in your stomach and a show of fireworks when you closed your eyes. Your heart was beating erratically and you watched Mark’s Adam’s apple bob when he pulled away.
“I lied back then, too,” you blurted out.
“Huh? When?” he asked.
“When we kissed for the first time here,” you started, “I lied about not feeling anything; I was actually going crazy on the inside.”
Mark smirked at this, and you weren’t sure the butterflies couldn’t get worse until you saw that look on his face. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead.
“I know,” he said, cradling your cheek with his hand. “By the way, I’d like to try dating, too, so will you be my girlfriend?”
You smiled, and for the first time in six years, it had never been easier to say, “Yes.”
“What the hell?” Johnny gawked at the sight of you and Mark holding hands. “You guys are actually dating? Holy shit, I thought Mark was gonna get rejected sooner or later.”
You and Mark had officially been dating for a few weeks now. It wasn’t like you were keeping it on the down-low or anything, so you were rather surprised that Johnny was just finding out. Either he was extremely slow or men really talked about nothing but video games and cars.
“You’re a terrible friend, Johnny,” Jia told her twin brother. “Anyway, I think you two are cute.”
Mark squeezed your hand a little. “Thanks, Jia.”
“But you two better keep it PG in this household,” Jia continued. “Keep your couple activities away from the Suhs.”
Your cheeks heated up at her words, and you tried to change topics by tossing the remote to your best friend. “Can you pick a movie already? This conversation is making me gag.”
Mark laughed and pressed a chaste kiss to the top of your head while Johnny and Jia were distracted with the movie selection. Neither of you were a big fan of PDA, but sneaking in moments like these made it all the more special. And, even though your relationship with Mark was far more serious now, you knew that spending your days at Johnny and Jia’s house would never cease.
After all, the Suh household was where it all started.
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ this fic was genuinely so random like,, i just had this strong inclination to write mark fluff out of nowhere, and it was supposed to be around 5k but then it got to this....... i genuinely thought it was pretty short so im wondering how it would’ve turned out if i spent more than two days on it :o but i really love soft boy mark !!! he’s just too cute ♡ anyways i hope you guys enjoyed this and thank you so much for making it to the end :D
TAG LIST ▸ @leeknowsredeyeliner @wownajaemin @geniejunn @huangberryyy @halbae @sehunniepot @jjaeyoonoh @subhyuck @itskkung @channiedani @jaemboi64 @otchae @n0hyuck @hyuckinx @domhyuckie @justhereforimagines @daegalfangirl @soobin-chois @lmkworld @ily-cuz-i
CAN’T TAG ▸ @irrealitys @lilacboba
#nct scenarios#mark scenarios#mark fluff#mark x reader#nct fluff#mark lee#mark lee x reader#nct dream fluff#nct 127 fluff#nct 127 imagines#nct imagines#nct dream imagines#nct drabbles#mark drabbles#nct oneshots#nct 127 oneshots#mark oneshots#nct fanfic#nct 127 fanfic#mark fanfic#nct dream fanfic#nct dream oneshots#nct soft hours
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Chapter 6 : Speakerbox
June 2065
Summer in Night City was always hot, more so lately with these Maelstrom animals running through the street with wild abandonment. She wouldn't have left Mexico if her brother didn't swear that she was needed. The Valentinos needed her now more than ever and she wasn't going to let the gang go down in flames. Heywood was her home, and although she had an easier life running drugs for the Cartels alongside the Valentinos, she went where she was needed.
Cera ran her fingers through her deep brown hair. Campo wouldn't have asked for her help if it wasn't absolutely needed. Being the little sister to the leader of the Valentinos left her feeling overprotected and lonely. Everyone was her guardian and not her friend. She wasn't even sure she could take a lover without his promises being compromised by the mouth of her brother's pistol.
Pushing open the doors to the safehouse, she was greeted by her two cousins, Gustavo and Vincent. Vincent wrapped his arms around her before showing her to the stairs. "It's bad. Maelstrom is going to annihilate us." He whispered.
Cera shrugged, pulling the hood of her black leather duster over her head. "No te preocupes. Not if I have any say in the matter." Ascending the steps, turning at the top, she saw her brother looming over a table. Hands pressed firmly down, papers scattered about. He was staring down at something. Her eyes scanned the room, pausing at the mass of a human staring out the window. He was huge! Although he was no more than a few inches taller than her, somehow even with his back to her, Cera couldn't help herself but check him out. He wore black boots, black cargo pants with gold accents, a hint of a maroon shirt peaking from beneath the black bomber jacket. As she stepped into the room, Campo looked up. Her brother's eyes seemed grateful that she arrived safely even though he continued to talk as if she was not there. "Nos extinguiremos al anochecer si no resolvemos algo". Campo said, rounding the table. "Gracias a Dios que estás aquí".
Cera nodded, the bulking force of a human who was looking out the window turned and made eye contact with her. Who was this Adonis? Deep green eyes under dark lashes looked at her. Hell, it felt like he was looking through her. And as badly as she wanted to blush, Cera kept her eyes locked to the boys'. He was no older than she, probably the same age. "We need to face them head on, Campo. The more we wait, the more we look like sittin ducks." His voice was deeper with a hint of raspiness that Cera had not expected. His black hair was pulled back into a pony tail, his jaw was square with sharp angles. Who ever he was, just the sheer sight of him was enough to make Cera weak in the knees.
Beautiful men was not something she was new to either. Cera Orta was a gorgeous young woman. At age eighteen, she was a knock out and deadly. Mastering her cyberware as a mind hacker and having a talent for throwing knives, it was safe to say Cera was the kiss of death. She wore a long blood red shirt that covered the belt of her black cargo pants. They were stuffed into knee high black boots with a one inch heel on them. Her black leather duster kept her knives hidden. She had about twenty four on her person. Three strapped to each hip, two around each ankle, four on each thigh, one on each wrist and two on either side of her ribs. They were lightweight, giving them the ability to sail through the air with ease. At the small of her back were two lightweight smgs, carefully placed so they moved with her. Giving the illusion she was unarmed. "Estoy de acuerdo." she said. The brute smirked at her. Good fucking God, he was an Adonis wasn't he? His devilish grin made Cera have to readjust her stance, the flood gates were about to let go. "Do you know where their main warehouse is?" Brushing passed her brother, Cera walked over to the table, standing in between Campo and the brute. Out of her peripheral vision, she could see his trapeze hulking on his shoulders. Padre en el cielo, he was beautiful! Forcing herself from devious thoughts, Cera scanned the table. Her finger stopped on the green dot her cybernetics placed on the map. "Here, we hit here." Turning, Cera walked past the brute and around the other side of the table, "And we hit them now."
"Jaquito, Vincent," Campo called. The brute stepped forward as Vincent who was at the bottom of the stairs, now made his way up to the top, "Shadow Cera. Her safe return is parallel to the Valentinos survival."
----------------------------
Jaquito, that was the brute's name. The size of him still shocked her as he opened the door of Campo's SUV so she could get out. Built like a brick shithouse was definitely one way to describe him. He smirked at her, though she couldn't fully read him. She didn't have time, her mind was focused elsewhere.
Campo had only sent two vehicles, three Valentinos in each, though she was sure her brother knew they were only back up incase her plan went south. Which was not an option. Exiting the SUV, Vincent huddled behind a stack of barrels just outside the mouth of the warehouse. "Mortar Jones runs these parts for Maelstrom. He's hit us hard plenty of times. Made his message clear." Jaquito nodded, acknowledging Vincent's claims. But Cera quickly scanned the building, locating Mortar in his office in the upper left wing of the warehouse.
"Then we need to send Maelstrom a message not to fuck with us." Cera stood to enter when Vincent pulled her back down to the ground.
"Are you insane? Campo will kill us for sure if we just let you walk in there without a plan! There's like fifty guys in there, not to mention there's a few within earshot." Cera rolled her eyes at her cousin.
"Campo will kill you for sure if you sit here, pussy in hand and wait for them to wipe us out. We need to hit them hard and hit them now." She looked over at Jaquito who smirked at her.
"I'll cover you." Was all he said. Rounding the corner, with Jaquito hot on her tail, Cera hid behind a concrete pillar. Deep breaths. In and out, calm your heart. Calm your inner storm. Raising her hand, she released the first knife. It landed in the Maelstrom gangbangers head with a sickening thunk. Jaquito raised his pistols, a wave of bullets showered over her shoulders. Another gang member approached her while his comrades fell behind him.
Left hand raised, sharp steel aimed to slash while it came down in a sweeping motion. She stepped to the side, sweeping his left and pressing his own blade into his throat before his back hit the floor. Without looking, her cybernetics awoke. Her mind flashed, individual slow motion shots taken in real time. Grabbing the three knives at her hip, she gracefully threw them across the room. One landed in the eye of a Maelstrom member who had his gun aimed at Jaquito's head. The other two slicing through the air with such mastered precision that they cut through two other members' jugulars like butter. He and her were the perfect blend of chaos and madness of a storm. A flurry of knives and bullets peppered the Maelstrom gangbangers of the warehouse, leaving Jaquito and Cera untouched. That was until Jaquito huddled behind a stack of wood pallets. "Chica! I'm out of ammo!"
"We got this Jack," She motioned to the machete strapped to his back, "we can switch it up like that." In one swift motion, black leather duster aired out, Cera reached for the two SMGs attached to her low back. Jackie reached back, grabbing his machete and nodded to her. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Cera Orta."
"Featuring Jackie Welles," he winked at her while she pulled the trigger on her guns. Now they had traded places. She provided the barrage of bullets. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Jackie raise the machete over his head, coming down with the full force of a monster. Blood sprayed across his chest and the wall beside him. He made killing and death almost beautiful. He was certainly an Adonis, a warrior she was proud to fight beside, one who made her heart accelerate. Soon the warehouse was silent. The bodies of Maelstrom were spread about and Cera dropped her empty guns at the bottom of the stairs leading to Mortar's office.
Ascending the steps, she heard the click. Thumb pressed against the back of cold steel. Taking the safety off. She stepped into the open doorway. Mortar pointed the gun at her. She felt a force grab the back of her leather duster and pull her backwards. Jackie's large hand gripped the worn leather, spinning her around. Wrapping his strong arms around her, he pulled her against his broad chest as he pressed his body against the metal wall. Hot firing bullets echoed into a blur. Faded, they sounded so far away. Cera was so far away from them. Honeyed amber eyes looked up and into Jackie's intense emerald green eyes. "I got you, chica." His raspy voice breathed, exhaling the scent of tequila and lime. She was oh so close to his freckled face. She was oh so close to his square jawline. She was oh so close to his chest, to all the power this man was. All the power and force this man is. Cera held her breath. She had to. She was so close, dangerously to this guardian. So close she could almost taste him. And how she certainly wanted to.
But the sharp echoing click of an empty mag forced Cera to pull herself from Jackie's grip. Entering the narrow room, Cera stepped to the side. Her eyes scanning the desk for a weapon, settling on a sharp silver letter opener.
Jackie's fist caught the Maelstrom leader by surprise, his head bouncing off the desk like a basketball. "Estúpido hijo de puta, don't you know who you shootin' at?" Mortar raised his head as if to say something to Jackie. Foolish. Grabbing the back of Mortar's black hair, Jackie slammed the Maelstrom leader's face back into his desk.
"Ease up, Jackie." Cera leaned across the desk, Mortar turned his face to the side. Shifty eyes looking up at them. "Surely it was a simple mistake right?" she cooed at the Maelstrom leader. Her voice dripping with venom, her eyes flashing up Jackie along with her vicious pearly viper's smile. She was deadly serious and Jackie knew it. He couldn't get enough of it. Campo had always said his little sister was one bad bitch but Jackie never knew how deadly and beautiful she was. "Los Valentino no les agrada la matanza de miembros de la familia". Mortar knew who she was now. And she wanted him to know, "Isabel Orta sends her regards."
The Maelstrom leader chuckled, shaking what he could of his head from under the pressure of Jackie's grip, "Isabel Orta is dead."
Jackie's eyes went wide. Now he knew why Campo ordered his sister back. This prick was the one who offed their mother. But Cera only smiled at the douchebag's remark. "My mistake." Her smile faded, her deep amber eyes glared at him. "Then tell her I said hello." With a quickness of a lightning strike, Cera stabbed the letter opener through Mortar's ear. His gasp of pain, a fleeting dream. Sleek perfection traveled faster than he could fathom from one side of his brain to the other. Blood pooled out of his ear and nostrils. Pulling back, she looked at Jackie. She wanted to be anywhere but here. Killing Mortar wouldn't bring her and Campo's mother back, but the message was sent. And it was clear. The Valentinos were not to be fucked with. "We're done here." Her voice was cold, ice broken and bitter with the truth. It longed for a comfort she doubted she would find in this world. Turning from the gruesome scene, Jackie reached out. His large fingers danced on this inside of her wrist.
"You okay, Chica?" He was concerned about her. She wanted to push him away. She wanted tell him not to meddle in the affairs of her emotions. But she couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to do it.
"I will be. Thank you, Jaquito." Cera reached up and kissed his cheek before turning and walking back down the stairs. Campo will want to know the deed was done. No matter the consequences, she would handle them. The way she always has.
__________________________
Spanish to English Translation:
Nos extinguiremos al anochecer si no resolemos algo - We'll go extinct by nightfall if we don't figure something out
Gracias a Dios que estas aqui- Thank God you're here
Estay de acuerdo - i agree
Padre en elcielo- father in heaven
Estupido hijo de puta - stupid son of a bitch
Los Valentino no les agrada la matanza de miembros da la familia - The Valentinos they don't like the killing of family members.
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I had to protect Monica from men who were taking pictures of her from across the park in front of her house and chase them away as a teenager.
I heard that I stole Monica from Bassnectar! HA!
Fuck that misogynistic piece of retarded shit!
He wanted her to be his sex slave on his tours and make childrapemedia with her. He was arrested for sex trafficking teenage girls and Monica could have been one of them if I didn't date her.
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You have no idea how Fucking pissed I am at this mark
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BASSNECTAR W AN ANTI TRUMP AND ANTI ESTABLISHMENT MESSAGE ON THE COACHELLA LIVESTREAM!! When has your fav ever used their platform the way bassnectar does like let me know because I wanna follow any artist who so boldly stands up against our FUCKED system
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that time i did acid at a bassnectar show in atlantic city in april 2017
We took our tabs at 6:45ish on the boardwalk in front of the Guy Fieri restaurant, with its speakers blaring about “mac and cheese and an ice cold beer right now.” Walking up to convention center, a straight shot from the beach, we ran into a series of other bassheads. As we approached, a woman pushing a stroller sauntered in the opposite direction of the Convention Center, laughing and hollering, “they takin’ off people shoes. Y’all betta tuck that shit!” A few people turned around.
It was 7:30ish when we got up to the doors. Security was packed. Too many people, super early in the night, so much drugs. The security staff had increased exponentially since last night. All the girls got through no problem, but Joey had the bag and had to be searched. Six excruciating minutes later, our dab pen was confiscated but at least Joey still got to come inside, with our joints still hidden in the backpack rain cover.
I thumbed through my Kandi rosary as I came up. After sitting under some purple lights for a bit, we decided to wait out our come up outside in the smoking section. The sun was just about finished setting and a gradient of oranges, teals, blues, and navies appeared as night faded in. We sucked down cigarettes and looked around at all the ridiculous outfits of the people in front of us.
Just before the peak hit we made our way inside, silly putty and bubbles in hand. CASPA was playing when we got settled again. We made our home in the northeastern corner of the right hand jumbotron. A couple standing in front of us let us play with their light stick and introduced themselves as “Vinny and Molly from the west coast”. Vinny had the most contented look on his face all night and Molly looked like drugs. The stick shone bright in yellows, reds, and oranges, a fire that burned white when you shook it. Behind Joey stood a dynamic duo, a large black man with a Bear fur spirit hood and a long haired white dude with a bionic arm. At one point in the night, I watched The Bear roll a blunt on a tiny rolling tray while dancing and jammin’ the fuck out, never missing a beat. Later in the night, The Bear handed us a blunt and told us to “pass that shit around,” rubbing our faces lovingly with his bear fur and making wookie noises.
By the time Bassnectar came on, the crowd was Fucked Up.
As the audience raged and the drugs flowed, so did the music. The putrid smell of cigarettes, sweat, and ass swirled around us while visions of LEDs and strobes and animation danced in our heads. The floor was slippery with spilt french fries and alcohol. I held myself up with The Stick. At one point I took down my hair and shook that shit out as hard as I could in my best Lorin homage. Thoughts raced through my mind like “they don’t want us to do this stuff, and that’s why we gotta!” and “this is my opportunity to let it all out.” We hollered and yelled, kicked and punched at the air, releasing as much tension as possible into the abyss of pumping bass and blinking lights.
When the sensory overload became too strong, Rachel, Becca, and I took a moment to escape the pit. We sought out fresh air in the smoking section but it was dirty and scary and brown, like a bottle filled with used cigarettes and tar-infused water, like CRANK. We scurried back inside and took refuge in The Haven, a day care center full of fuchsia and orange Air Couches. An ambassador came over to check on us and offer us water as other festival goers recovered all around us. Do we look THAT fucked up? I asked myself.
Before we could get permanently trapped there, we moved back towards the music room and sat against the back wall. A grown man with a long ponytail danced in front of us dressed as a fairy, his tulle cape floating around him and his antennae headband bounced freely as he bopped around. It was all too much when he flounced over to his friends, also bearing antennae and platform shoes.
Finally we worked up the nerve to return to our friends, who were still deep in the thick of it. I remember wondering if people we dressed like that because this was an expression of their true inner self or because that’s how they thought they should dress. We passed another Fairy, a Cow, and a few Unicorns as we trekked across the concrete floor.
Bassnectar was amazing from start to finish. “Yo, I’ve never been to a party like this,” he shouted into the mic, met by our cheers. After two encores, the convention center’s fluorescent lights finally came on. The whole crowd looked around with bewilderment. “What do we do now?” was on everyone’s faces. It seemed no one had a plan for escaping the convention center, not us and not anyone else. We wandered around looking for the exits. “OH GOD YES!! The door!” yelled a dude behind us. We shuffled aimlessly towards what we hoped were the stairs, pushing our way forward until a Basshead in front of us cried, “You’ve gone too far, turn back!!” It seemed we were all shuffling toward another wall. By the time we turned around and made it to the stairs, so had everyone else from the room. In a moment of terror, Joey and Rachel got separated from us. We couldn’t tell where they were or if they were together. Huddling around a tall pole, we hugged and cheered when we were reunited.
Hollers and whoops rang out through the lobby as we finally crossed the threshold of the front door with a mild sense of “we’re okay! We’re out!”. Just a sea of fucked up people greeted us, spilling out over the sidewalk and swarming into the streets. “I’m walkin’ here!” I shouted as cabs moved toward us with no regard. A nearby dude filled in the rest of the monologue from the Rick and Morty episode for us, laughing and waving. We moved toward the beach with the rest of the crowd, unable to do much of anything else. “There’s no charge left, Morty! How are we gonna get home?” asked a Rick of the crowd, brandishing his device. His costume was on point, as was his impression.
Ben, Jamie, and Tim appeared beside us at a crosswalk, sucking down nitrous balloons and lookin’ fucked up. “You want some? This is the hard level,” Tim said, offering a baloon to Rachel. She turned him down meekly and we scurried away as quickly as we could.
At the next intersection, cars streamed past through the green light as we waited for our turn. “Cars don’t give a fuck about you,” Becca reminded us as an ambulance screamed by. A red jeep with eight or so passengers pulled up stopped in the middle of the intersection, despite the green light. They all laughed and pulled out their phones to take pictures of us, thousands of Bassheads spilling out everywhere and dressed all crazy. “Fuck you,” we shouted back, ensuring that we’d end up on someone’s Snapstory.
Finally on the boardwalk, we tried to find a place to chill, away from the sober people and the fucked up people alike. Becca, Ty, Rachel and I were exhausted and mildly afraid, ready to escape to the safety of our hotel. Joey and Alyssa played in the sand while we formulated plan. My phone turned into a creature with a life of its own, difficult to look at and even harder to navigate. I wasn’t sure if the phone was broken or I was. We were all distracted and addled. At one point we all lay down on a concrete block, trying to decide if we should stay out in the Casino city or go home. “This is why we need to just go home,” someone called, before we could get trapped there. After several failed attempts to gather ourselves, we finally got Lyft to work. Our driver called to ask our location and if our destination was in Atlantic City. “Yes,” I knowingly lied as I sent him directions to the Red Roof Inn in Absecon, just outside the city limits. “At least we didn’t ask to go to Brooklyn,” I hissed to Becca with the phone still on.
When we all finally piled in the car, all I wanted was to get out. I was so afraid he would realize we’d lied or see just how fucked up we were and boot us out as we drove through the projects.
At a stoplight, a woman beside us answered a cell phone. “You call Josh’s phone?” she asked. “I sure hope so,” responded Alyssa through the open window. The woman shot back a death glare, the light staying red for eternity. Everyone burst into laughter, even the driver. At long last the light turned and we sped off.
We drove over the bridges and through the wetlands. “It’s probably not very healthy but it’s happy to be here,” chimed Alyssa. Driving through the cool night air, some of the burning intensity of trip waned. Pulling up to the hotel, a wave of relief washed through me. Inside, a Basshead was crawling on the furniture and another lit some incense on the hotel counter. Unaffected, we climbed into the elevator.
Back in our rooms, we shed our sweat soaked clothes. Ice-cold Gatorade soothed our throats, sore from screaming and cheering and smoking. We gathered our weed and coloring supplies and met up in the other room. We lay in piles on the beds, scribbling in our coloring books and talking about everything. How dirty our rooms were, how dirty that set was, how fucked up everyone was. Eventually we decided it was time for weed, so we grabbed a joint and went down out back. In the elevator, a handful of other bassheads headed downstairs to do the same. “Where is that music coming from?” I asked looking around. We all laughed as one of them held up a speaker. No longer were Bassheads climbing all over the lobby, but a dude with long hair and a psychedelic tee shirt sat behind the front desk.
Outside we chatted with the rotating cast of characters who came down to let off some steam. A squirrely dude sat down with a full rig and torch set up, telling us how he got it all inside and dabbed right in front of the staff. “I’m not really sure what this is,” he admitted, “if it’s CBD or THC.” We all abstained, except of course Joe. Squirrely Dude was buggin us out. Matt the Ketamine Kid came down to smoke. A girl stuck her head out the window of her room. “Y’all got any liquor?” We all just stared back incredulously and mumbled “no.” Matt asked if I could hold his cigarette while he ran upstairs. When he came back he had a girl in tow and a sweatshirt on. I handed him back his cigarette, a surprise that he discovered at least two more times. “Y’all have anything to drink that isn’t sugar?” he asked, wanting to keep his roll going. We all declined. Becca led the group in returning to our room, comforted by the weed and ready to lie down again.
Back in our room we decided we could take a few dabs, anything to turn down the effects of the acid still raging in our minds. I must not have looked at the size of mine carefully. I dabbed myself out and stood up coughing, dibadubed, and scrubadubbed over to Becca, shuffling my small feet as I went in for a snuggle.
Becca took Rachel and I back to our room, where we used the last of our energy to gather our belongings so we wouldn’t have to pack when we woke up to go home in a few hours. Rainbows clouded my vision as I tried to figure out what was happening. Big eyes stared back at me from the mirror while I took off my makeup and I quickly looked away.
We turned on the TV to find a honey-baked ham being sliced. Cackling, we watched that infomercial and then two more. We clicked through the channels, passing ads for “Metal Garden Hoses” and late night political talk shows. We finally settled on the weather channel, it’s Doppler radar maps soothing with their repetitive motion, simple colors, and calming music. When the reports of Midwestern flooding and tornadoes became too much, we turned to a channel labeled “NO SERVICE” and watched the black screen fuzz back and forth. Finally, we turned off the TV and fell asleep as the sun rose, turning the sky over Atlantic City a pale pinky blue.
#acid#lsd#bassnectar#atlantic city#basslantic#drugs#fucked up#weed#joints#dabs#ketamine#molly#edm#original content#my writing#this is one of the things im most proud of writing
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🔮🎶freak in the morning, freak in the evening, ain't no other freak like me📣🔮
#nectar#freaks on e thats what we fuck man#bassnectar#lyrics#freaks#rave#edm#dubstep#text post#freak
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#thisisahousearrest #electroshockboogie
#beatsagainstcorona #freakwithme
#makesmewannadance #shakewhatyamamagaveya
https://song.link/s/2pXloKVx0piJ8SHrhcxGou
#bassnectar#beats#drop beatz no bombs 💣#shake what your mama gave ya#music#spotify#now playing#x-heesy#fucking favorite#music and art#dance mf dance#9/2020
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Am I about to fly to Atlanta for dick?
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I’m sorry to be such a wook but bassnectar is so good and has been good for fucking decades. I like what I like
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“now you're gonna know us
hail to the king and queen of the ruckus”
a mix for loki & sylvie.
demons — hayley kiyoko // bones — wens // the killing kind — marianas trench // play with fire — sam tinnesz // the wolves — cyrus reynolds & keeley bumford // another love — tom odell // between two points — the glitch mob // milkshake — buddy // feeling good — nina simone & bassnectar // salt and the sea — the lumineers // start a war — klergy & valerie broussard // queer — garbage // kings & queens — ava max // man or a monster — sam tinnesz // black sea — natasha blume // run baby run — the rigs // a little death — the neighbourhood // i want to destroy something beautiful — josh woodward
spotify // youtube
demons || hayley kiyoko
please forgive me, i've got demons in my head
tryna eat me, tryna feed me lies until I'm dead ('til I'm dead)
please forgive me, i've got demons in my head
bones || wens
there’s a whisper in my bones
keeping me restless and whole
there’s a whisper in my bones, bones
the killing kind || marianas trench
if madness over takes us both
then nobody would be alone
the ghost of us can linger here
forever not to disappear
stay
stay near, oh stay
we could be together here
forever we're together bound in madness
play with fire || sam tinnesz
insane, inside the danger gets me high
can't help myself got secrets i can't tell
i love the smell of gasoline
i light the match to taste the heat
the wolves || cyrus reynolds, gregg lehrman
i’m losing sight of our reality
satellites singing serenity
send out a signal, please remember me
another love || tom odell
and if somebody hurts you, i wanna fight
but my hand's been broken, one too many times
so i'll use my voice, i'll be so fucking rude
words they always win, but i know i'll lose
between two points || the glitch mob ft swan
the shortest distance
between two points
is the line
from me to you
milkshake || buddy
i know you want it
the thing that makes me
what the guys go crazy for
they lose their minds
feeling good (bassnectar remix) || nina simone
it's a new dawn
it's a new day
it's a new life
for me
and i'm feeling good
salt and the sea || the lumineers
i'll be your friend in the daylight again
there we will be, like an old enemy
like the salt and the sea
start a war || klergy
sail among liars
blame the deniers
if history is dead and gone
then how did we get here, my god?
queer || garbage
hide inside your head
the blindest of the blind
the deadest of the dead
you're hungry cause you starve
while holding back the tears
choking on your smile
a fake behind the fear
the queerest of the queer
kings and queens || ava max
no damsel in distress, don't need to save me
once i start breathin' fire, you can't tame me
and you might think i'm weak without a sword
but if i had one, it'd be bigger than yours
man or a monster || sam tinnesz
you can't take back the damage you've done
oh, you can hide, but you can't run
no, you can't take back the damage you've done
afraid of what you might become
a man or a monster
black sea || natasha blume
you rise, i fall
i stand, you crawl
you twist, i turn
who's the first to burn?
run baby run || the rigs
dear
a kiss that steals your breath
will steal your soul instead
when night is all that's left
so wait
keep your heart inside
my hands won't keep it safe
a little death || the neighbourhood
she sought death on a queen-sized bed
And he had said, "darling, your looks can kill,
so now you're dead."
i want to destroy something beautiful || josh woodward
i want to destroy something beautiful
for you, i want to destroy for you
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Summoning Lorin night two of basscenter X 😈🙏🏾
#bassnectar#basscenter hail Satan#crystal#fucks#tripping#balls#lovely#creatures#everywhere#I love#my#freaks
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this place was literally like a different place at night
#I was rolling hard asf tho#almost fucking died durning bassnectar#sensory overload#oh my goddd so intense#was so fucked up I recorded their best song in slo mo#lmfao#electric forest 2017#electric forest#mine
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The rave/EDM scene is a fucking sewer im so glad I left it
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27, 28 & 51!
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?
I'm not sure. On the one hand, attention...on the other hand, ATTENTION. I'd prefer to be known for writing or comedy or discovering the meaning of life or aliens or something like that. Being remembered would be nice.
28. What type of music do you like?
EDM mostly, my taste is terrible. Some artists I like: Koven, Grimes, Metrik, Maduk, Kungs, Bassnectar, Phantogram.
51. Are you scared of spiders?
I used to be but there are literally spiders EVERYWHERE in Australia. I have daddy long legs (not sure what they call them elsewhere) living in random corners of my house and often have to fish house spiders out of the bathtub before I get in it. It's okay - they eat the flies!
FUCK the ice spiders from Mando s2 ep 2 though. If they're squishy it's a big nope from me.
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