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babysukiii · 2 months

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fallingforyou (3)

// lottie matthew’s does not like you. you’re annoying, preppy, and way too nice. lottie doesn’t fail to show you time after time just how much she hates you. you finally get the message and steer clear of her, until senior year, when you both get paired up for a science project. //

warnings: asshole!lottie, sweet!reader, pining, mutual pining, oblivious!reader, hints of underage drinking, lowkey jealous lottie if you squint, lottie is an idiot

(this is part 3, you can read part 2 here, and part 1 here)

on this night and in this light (i think i’m falling)

“don’t you think we should be, i don’t know, actually working?” lottie questions sardonically, and you turn your head to scowl at her from where you’re laying on the rug in your room. a new episode of sabrina the teenage witch was playing and you were excitedly watching it. “shut up! sabrina is talking!” you hiss warningly, causing the yellowjackets sweeper to roll her eyes in annoyance, while you turn your gaze back to the tv. “why didn’t you tell me you were going to be doing this the whole time? i would’ve just gone home.” it’s a blatant lie, but you don’t know that, and lottie doesn’t want to tell you otherwise.

you scoff, “yeah, sure. after the way you acted when i cancelled yesterday? you’re stuck here now.” the comment is supposed to annoy lottie, but it doesn’t. it doesn’t annoy her at all, the thought of being stuck here with you. lottie blinks rapidly, trying to shove that thought so far away, she’ll never have to deal with it again. “you don’t like sabrina?” you ask, gesturing to the tv, and lottie shakes her head. “i don’t really watch tv.” she mutters her response, making you furrow your brows and laugh lightly. “seriously? aren’t your parents loaded? i thought you’d have a huge theater where you watch all your favorite shows and movies.” you tease her, causing her to glower in your direction.

“you thought wrong.” she retorts, but there’s something in her tone that you can’t quite place. you can sense the shift in demeanor, but you don’t press the subject. lottie is like an animal you’re trying to tame. she could snap at any moment for any reason. you know lottie is like this for a reason; you can’t help but wonder if maybe her mother is just as angry as her. or perhaps her father has a temper. “well, either way… it’s been kind of nice having you over.” you start cautiously, and lottie looks over at you; her tenebrous gaze meeting yours.

“i just mean, i get lonely sometimes even though i’m here with my siblings all the time. it’s nice to have someone to spend time with.” you ramble, and lottie’s eyes seem to soften in a way you’ve never seen before. “i like being here with you too.” lottie says before she can think twice, taking not only herself by surprise, but you as well. a faint blush creeps onto your face, and lottie takes in how pretty you are. before either of you can say anything else, your older sister barges through your bedroom door, causing you to jump.

lottie looks annoyed at the intrusion, and she sends a scowl the older girls way. elise stares at you for a moment, furrowing her brows as she notices how flushed your cheeks are. she can nearly feel the tension in the room. “mom said dinners ready. she served your friend a plate.” the eighteen year old comments, flashing you a knowing look. you nod, “okay! be there in a minute.” you aimlessly respond, trying to keep your eyes away from your sisters. you do everything to stop blushing but it doesn’t seem to work. elise reluctantly leaves without saying anything else, and lottie clears her throat.

“i feel bad your mom has been setting an extra plate for me. i didn’t even ask if it was okay…” lottie trails off, insecurity laced throughout her tone. you shake your head quickly in protest, “my mom likes you! she thinks your nice, and she doesn’t mind.” you assure her, “besides, my dad always works super late so he never eats with us. there’s always an extra seat.” you ramble a bit, and lottie feels a bunch of mini starbursts in her chest; going off rapidly one by one. she swallows thickly, “thanks.” she doesn’t know what else to say and internally cringes at her response. you get up, flashing her a little grin that causes her belly to flip in an uncomfortable way.

“come on, matthew’s, before my mom gets pissed.” you taunt, waiting for her to get up from her seat on your bed. she follows you out of your room, chuckling slightly, “i can’t imagine your mom angry. she’s so tiny.” lottie makes you giggle, “trust me, she can be terrifying. have you ever heard that shorter people are more likely be evil because they’re close to hell?” your retort sounds serious, which makes it even more hilarious, and lottie can’t help but burst out laughing. you giggle as well, and you don’t even realize elise and your mother are staring at you both with inscrutable looks.

you and lottie aimlessly take a seat beside each other, and lottie smiles at your mother. “thank you, mrs. l/n. this smells delicious.” she says politely, and your mom offers her a smile. “you’re welcome, sweetheart. it’s carne asada, beans, and rice, y/n’s favorite.” she admits, and elise snickers, “basics just like her.” the older girl chimes in, and sabrina giggles while you flush. lottie looks at you, and she can’t stop thinking about how pretty you look when you blush. surely she’s notice how pretty you were before, but she can’t remember ever thinking about it. elise is the only one who is aware of the way lottie is looking at you.

“so mom… maria invited me to a get together at her sorority house. can i go after dinner?” elise asks hopefully, and your mom gets this skeptical look on her face. “a get together? at a sorority house?” she questions uncertainly, obviously not buying it. “yeah! it’s just a few of the girls! please mom?” the oldest teen asks, putting on her best puppy eyes. lisa quirks a brow challengingly, “then you wouldn’t mind taking y/n with you?” she asks, smiling in a condescending way. she obviously seems to know elise will refuse to bring you along. your eyes widen at the same time elise’s do.

“me!?”

“her!?”

you both respond to your mother at the same time, and lisa nods simply. “if it’s a get together, then you should have no problem with taking your sister. besides, when was the last time you two did anything together?” the older woman asks, and a glower etches itself onto elise’s features. “why can’t i go too!?” sabrina asks, pouting and clearly upset. “because you’re failing english, and need to study.” lisa pointedly responds, and elise huffs. “fine. i’ll take her, but she’s gonna be complaining the whole time!”

your eyebrows nearly meet your hairline, and you protest quickly. “i don’t wanna go! it’s friday night, and the last thing i wanna do is spend it with elise and a bunch of her weird friends!” you flash your mom a pair of begging eyes, “please don’t make me go.” lottie commends your mother for having the willpower to go against those eyes because damn, she feels her resolve slipping and the peculiar need to step in and protect you kicks in. “i can go with you guys. just so you’re not stuck there alone.” lottie offers, and your head turns to gaze at her.

you blink a few times, clearly confused as to why lottie matthew’s would want to spend a friday night with you. “but didn’t you get invited to becky martin’s bonfire?” you inquire, and lottie shrugs, “i wasn’t gonna go to that anyways.” she lies, but you seem to believe her because you flash her a grateful expression, “i mean if you really wanna be stuck with elise’s friends all night, then sure.” you half joke, making your older sister scoff. “my friends aren’t that bad! i mean at least i have more than three, unlike you!” she hisses, and you roll your eyes.

“ever heard of quality over quantity?” you sardonically retort, making lottie chuckle. elise narrows her eyes at you, “you’re so lucky moms forcing me to bring you.” she mutters, as she continues eating.

after dinner you and lottie head back to your room, and you’re a bit quieter than usual. “you don’t have to go just for my expense, you know? i know you were planning on being at that bonfire tonight.” you say softly, and lottie tenses up as you call her out. there’s no malice or anger in your tone, but lottie frowns. “if i wanted to go to that bonfire i would. i’m hanging with you tonight.” she responds adamantly, and the way you smile washes all of her doubts away.

“okay then, i guess i’ll start getting ready. you already look pretty, but we can stop by your house if you want to change?” you suggest and lottie shrugs, trying to ignore the sensations inside of her that she gets when you call her pretty. “i’ll just go like this. i mean, it’s just a bunch of elise’s lame friends. they’re probably just gonna talk about books and stuff.” she jokes, and you giggle, making her stomach get all knotted up again. god, she really hates that feeling.

throughout the entire way to the sorority house, lottie can’t help but occasionally steal a few glances at you. you had decided to wear a pair of tight black flare jeans, and a cropped fur coat that apparently belongs to elise. lottie wasn’t used to seeing you outside of your usual school clothes. you’d mostly wear jeans and sweaters; hiding every part of yourself. though tonight lottie had a hard time keeping her eyes off you. as soon as elise pulls into the parking lot of the campus, you can hear loud music in the distance.

your confusion only seems to grow as the music gets louder, the closer to the sorority house you all get. finally, your steps begin to falter when you realize you’re approaching a house with a few drunk students outside. someone was laying on the grass, and another person was holding her friends hair while she threw up in a bush. “elise this is not a get together! this is a frat party!” you exclaim angrily, as a large guy drunkenly stumbles past you guys. elise actually looks guilty for a moment, but the expression is quickly replaced by an angry one. “that’s why i didn’t want you to come! god, mom treats me like i’m a fucking kid! i’m eighteen; i should be allowed to have some fun.” she snaps, and you sigh.

“you should’ve just been honest with me. or snuck out like a normal person your age! now i’m stuck here!” you begin to argue with the older girl, who huffs in response. “yeah, cause being at a college frat party is every seventeen year olds worst nightmare. seriously, y/n, when was the last time you were even invited to a party?” elise sardonically asks, and you frown. “i’ve been to parties!” you internally cringe at how stupid you sound, and even lottie knows you’re lying. she’s only ever seen you at one party before, and even then you had left early.

elise shakes her head in dismay, “i bet you wouldn’t even know what to do at a place like this.” she challenges, and lottie frowns when she sees the determination on your features. “well, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” you provoke her back, suddenly thinking about those new shoes you’ve been wanting for a month. elise lights up, and lottie thinks it’s the first time she’s ever seen her look so excited as she talks to you. “fine. if you can get a guy or two to dance with you, and actually let loose… i’ll buy you anything you want from the mall. under a hundred and twenty bucks.” she says and you nod in agreement. “deal.” you confirm, holding your hand out for your sister to shake.

lottie gets a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach as the three of you walk into the sorority house. immediately lottie is alert and aware of how many people there are in here; how crowded and dim-lit the house is. losing you here would be easy, and it’d take lottie forever to find you. elise ditches you as soon as she sees her friends, and lottie hates that she’s thinking about what it’d be like if she didn’t come. you’d be stuck here, alone.

“at least they’re playing good music.” you comment, noticing an upbeat spanish song was playing. lottie’s cheeks turn a shade of crimson red as she flushes timidly. “i failed spanish class last year… i think i’m doing really bad in french too this year.” she reveals and you let out this tinkling laugh that causes her to stare at you. she takes in how you look under this lighting; your hair was clipped back in a half updo, but it was still curled in this carefree way that made lottie think you looked absolutely beautiful. she glances away, trying to think of anything but that.

“it’s okay, i suck at french. i only passed spanish class because it was my first language.” you tell her, and she smiles at the admission, “i don’t think i’ll ever be able to learn another language, it’s like my head just can’t grasp anything other than english. spanish is sexy though.” lottie blurts out, and you raises your eyebrows in a bit of amusement as her cheeks burn in humiliation. she has no idea why she just said that.

“here you go pretty ladies. you two look like you needed a drink.” a deep voice intervenes, as you look to see a tall frat boy handing you both cups. lottie speaks before you can even think about it, grabbing your hand, and grasping it firmly. her grip sends a jolt of electricity down your body, and you lose all train of thought as soon as she touches you. “we’re good, thanks though.” she says in that usual not-so-kind voice before pulling you away. “hey! i’m supposed to be getting guys like that to dance with me if i want to win the bet!” you argue, pouting as lottie begins to look for the drink station. she rolls her eyes, making a face of clear disdain at the fact that you’re actually going through with elise’s stupid challenge.

“you’re not seriously going to try and win that stupid bet, are you?” lottie gives you the third degree as she questions you, and you frown at her tone. you aren’t really sure why she sounds so upset. “well, yeah, i mean i want some new shoes and it’s an easy win. how hard can it be to get a few college dudes to dance with me?” you ask uncertainly, and lottie only seems more and more annoyed as you explain yourself. “these guys don’t just wanna dance with you, y/n. they’re all here looking to get laid.” she states, the contemptuousness in her voice causes something inside of your abdomen to tingle.

“obviously i’m not going to let them do that, matthew’s.” you respond as you both come to a stop at the drink station. lottie scoffs as she begins to make your drinks, refusing to answer you anymore. you frown, “you’re such an ass.” you mutter, only adding to her annoyance. she shoots daggers at you with her eyes, “me?? because i don’t want some gross college guy trying anything with you?” she sounds serious, and you can’t help but let your frustration wash away as you realize she’s just worried about you.

“if i didn’t know any better i’d think you’re actually starting to care about me.” you say carefully, as lottie hands you a cup of cranberry vodka. “yeah well, good thing you know better.” she murmurs, and before you can get another word out, an older guy approaches you both. “hey, i’m chris.” he introduces himself, flashing you a shy smile. “y/n.” you respond back, and lottie tries to hide the obvious distaste towards him while he eats you up with his eyes. “do you maybe wanna dance, y/n?” he asks hopefully and you’re about to say yes, when you remember lottie’s obvious indifference towards the bet.

“no, i’m okay. i’m here with someone else.” you simply respond, and the look of disappointment and humiliation etches itself onto his face. “oh, yeah. cool. i’m sorry. i’ll see you around then.” he quickly apologizes before rushing away in the opposite direction. lottie looks at you, visibly befuddled as to why you would turn him down. you shrug at her reaction, taking a sip of your drink, “i can always just blackmail elise into getting me the shoes. she’s not even supposed to be here, let alone have me here. moms gonna flip.” you laugh lightly and suddenly a sense of relief courses throughout the raven haired girl.

she isn’t sure why she was upset at the thought of you dancing with some other guy. the mere thought of some seedy dudes hands on you made her blood boil for reasons she didn’t understand.

it isn’t until lottie is laying in bed later that night; the image of your pretty smile and eyes are the only thing that she can see when she closes her eyes, that she realizes what this is. lottie matthew’s isn’t stupid; she’s aware of what’s happening… she just doesn’t want to admit it. because just last month lottie hated you; now she couldn’t get you out of her head. she was falling fast and she wasn’t sure if she could stop.

#lottie mathews x reader #lottie x reader #lottie x fem reader angst #lottie matthews angst #lottie matthews x you #lottie matthews x y/n #lottie yellowjackets #yellowjackets #lottie matthews x fem reader #lottie matthews x fem reader angst #lottie matthews x reader #lottie matthews icons #lottie matthews

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devilat-thedoor · 7 months

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Hands to Yourself Pt10

Lovers🤍🤍

SURPRIIIIIIIISEEEEEEE

Guess who finally got her shit together and finished Part 10???? No but seriously, I can’t even begin to express my gratitude for how patient everyone has been waiting on this. I’ve been off my game lately. okokok I won’t ramble, but I love you all! hope it was worth the wait💖

Word Count: 11.1k

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI. Smut(Fingering, Unprotected Sex, Dirty Talk) Talks of pregnancy. (If I miss anything, please let me know!)

“Gimme some good news, Dr. Brooks.” You pleaded with a whine, “Is this cast coming off today?” You sat on the edge of the exam table, wiggling your arm at him. This was your third visit with the doctor since you’d been released from the hospital. The first was a week after your discharge, just to ensure your ribs were still healing well. Then another week after that, you went in to have the stitches removed before an ultrasound. “Jake won’t take me car shopping until I have full use of both hands…”

He chuckled softly, “He’s only thinking in terms of your safety, Y/N.” He took your arm, fiddling with your fingers, “Okay, I’m gonna cut this cast off and we’ll get an x-ray to see how the bones are looking.” Dr. Brooks laid the table flat, instructing you to lay down, and lifted your shirt. He pressed lightly on your ribcage, prodding his fingers around, “How’s the pregnancy? You went for an ultrasound the last time you were in… Sit up, I wanna hear your lungs.”

You obeyed, pulling your shirt back down to sit up, “It’s good, I think. I don’t really get sick anymore unless I eat pizza or spaghetti.” You placed a palm over your belly, “He does not like tomato sauce…I’ll be 14 weeks on thursday. I think I’m kind of showing?” You pulled the shirt taught over your stomach, showcasing the barely-there bump.

“It’s definitely possible. I’ve known mothers to start showing in their 12th week and some that don’t show until they’re well over 5 months.” He held the stethoscope to your back, “Deep breath for me, Y/N.” You felt him move it to another spot, pressing it into your shirt and telling you to breathe again, “Everything sounds great… So you said ‘he.’ It’s a boy?” He was scribbling something down on his clipboard.

“We don’t know for sure yet, but I have a strong feeling.” You rubbed your hands over your leggings, “I’ve been having these really vivid…dreams. Umm. It’s always a boy in them, so…” Your eyes fell to the floor.

The doctor looked down at you, studying your body language, “Y/N, have you scheduled an appointment with the trauma therapist I recommended?” He wheeled his stool in front of you and sat down, “Jake told me about the nightmares during your last check in. You should really consider going to see Dr. Lucera. She’ll help you understand why you’re having these dreams and present you with ways to deal with the PTSD.” He ripped a corner from one of his papers, wrote something down on it, and placed it in your shaking hand, “Call her office and make an appointment. I promise, it will help.”

You took the scrap of paper from him, “Okay. Yeah, I’ll try.” Ready for a subject change, you waved your arm in front of him again, “Is It time?” You raised your eyebrows at him.

“It’s time.” Dr. Brooks stood from the stool with a smile and walked towards the door, “I’ll be right back. Do you want me to send him in?” You gave him an enthusiastic nod as he exited the exam room, pulling the door shut after him.

Minutes later, Jake was coming into the room, “How’s everything looking, my love?” He stood by you, leaving a kiss to your forehead.

“He’s finally taking the cast off.” You grinned up at him, “You know what that means, baby…”

“It means you’re getting x-ray to see if you need a new cast.” He stated matter-of-factly, “Dr. Brooks already briefed me, Y/N.” He plucked the paper from your fingers, looking it over, “And we’re gonna schedule an appointment with the therapist he recommended when we get home.”

You tried to grab it back before he jammed it into his pocket, “No. I’m throwing that in the garbage. I don’t need help with anything, I’m handling it.”

“You’re not, though, love.” He caught your hand as you dug into his pocket, “Ignoring it and pretending it’s not happening isn’t handling it. Frankly, I think it’s making it worse.” He moved in front of you, bending a bit to meet you face to face, “Let’s compromise, baby… If you promise me that you’ll try one appointment, just one, we can leave here today and start car shopping. Cast or no cast.”

You negotiated a counteroffer, “I’ll make the appointment before I leave this room today, BUT…” You leaned in until your noses were almost touching, “I get to go back to work on monday.” He backed up, shaking his head, but you grabbed his shirt and pulled him back towards you, “Jake, it’s been well over a month. I gave you time like you asked, more than what was needed.”

Before he could respond, your doctor was coming in with a nurse, wheeling a cart with medical instruments, “Alright, Y/N, I’m going to give you a quick rundown of how this works… Have you ever had a cast removed before?” You shook your head as you looked at the tools on the cart. He took note of your nervous energy in the way you grasped tightly onto Jake’s hand, “There is nothing to be worried about, I assure you.” Dr. Brooks picked up the saw, holding it against his hand, “This is a vibrating saw, it cuts through the fiberglass but it cannot and will not cut your skin.” He clicked the button on and let it run over his palm.

You squeezed Jake’s hand harder with a faint gasp at the whirring sound. “Baby, it’s fine, look.” He held his free hand out for Dr. Brooks and allowed the man to put the tool against his skin, “See, it just tickles a bit, no pain, no cuts.” He pulled his palm back for you to see.

“Okay…” You nodded your head, giving your attention back to the doctor.

He placed the saw back on the cart and picked something else up, “Once we get through the brunt of it, we’ll use these shears to cut through all the padding.” He put them down and picked up the last thing to hold in front of you, “Then, once we have a clear channel, we’ll use the spreader to crack it open and slide it off so that we can see how you’re healing under there. Sound good?”

Taking a deep breath, you held your arm out, “Yes, just get the damn thing off…”

After your appointment, Jake was going to take you car shopping like he agreed but you weren’t really up to it, “Can we just go home, actually? Make lunch and watch a movie?”

“Of course, love.” He eyed you from the driver’s seat, “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I just didn’t really sleep too well last night… I’m a little tired.” You were lying, but you didn’t want to tell him that the mere thought of getting behind a wheel made you anxious beyond belief. Thankfully he didn’t question any further, just made the drive home with a gentle hold on your freshly freed hand.

_________________________________________________

After getting home, you changed into shorts and a tank top to clean the house a bit before settling at the kitchen table for lunch. You couldn’t help but notice the way Jake kept watching you, studying you. Every time your gaze would lift from your food, you’d find his eyes on you. He watched you squeeze your hand around your wrist, rolling it a bit, “Does it hurt?”

“No, it just feels weird.” You stared down at your left hand, flexing your fingers and knuckles, “Mobility was limited, all I could really move were my fingers and even that was just barely. I think I just need to get used to moving it around.”

“Well… Just don’t push it. Dr. Brooks said the bone may not be as strong as it was.” Jake put his fork down, picking up a napkin to wipe his mouth, “I still can’t believe you got scared when he brought the saw out.” He laughed as he reached for his cup.

“Fuck off, I wasn’t even scared, Jake.” You threw your napkin at him, sharing his laughter, and stood from the table, grabbing your empty plate and his, “Are you still hungry, baby?” As you moved past him to put the dishes in the sink, he grabbed your waist, pulling you down into his lap, “Jacob!” You yelped as one of the plates crashed to the floor, shattering to pieces.

He took the remaining one from your hand and put it back on the table with a playful smirk, “I want dessert…” His hand went to the back of your head, pulling you in for a kiss. You wanted to yell at him for making you drop the plate but his lips were moving so madly against your own that you couldn’t focus on anything else. Suddenly, he was standing up and lifting you with him to sit you on the edge of the table. His lips went to your jaw, trailing their way down as he yanked the strap of your shirt to the side to kiss along your shoulder..

Your legs parted on their own, giving him the space to stand between them, “Baby, what is- Oh…” Your hands shot his shoulders as he grasped your hips, grinding his erection into you, “Would this have anything to do with how you’ve been staring at me?”

He bit down on your collarbone, drawing a gasp from you, “You look so fucking beautiful…” He pulled the other strap down, letting your tank top fall below your breasts, “My dick has been hard since you sat down to eat…Are they getting bigger?” He was cupping your tits, squeezing them gently.

“Well, I’m pregnant…so probably.” You giggled at his amazed expression.

Jake pulled the tank top over your head before dropping back into his chair and scooting it closer to the table, “Pregnant with my baby…” He leaned forward, pressing his lips to your belly, “Still can’t believe it sometimes. I made him…” He was staring at the teeny bump, brushing his knuckles against your skin.

You hooked your finger under his chin, lifting his eyes to you, “I don’t think you can take all the credit on this one, baby. It was a group effort.” You smiled down at him, poking the tip of his nose, “I can tell you exactly when we made him…or- at least when I think we made him.”

“When? How do you know?” He grabbed your hand, interlocking your fingers, and laid his head on your thigh as he gazed at you.

“My OB helped me kind of calculate it at my last appointment. It was confusing, but she gave me a general time frame of the conception date.” You pushed the hair from his face, cupping his cheek, “The cookout… That morning, in the bathroom. Do you remember?”

He turned his head, placing a kiss to the inside of your thigh, “Of course I remember.” He continued leaving wet kisses across your flesh, “I can remember just about every time I’ve been here…” He pressed his index finger to the front of your shorts, applying pressure to your clit, “You were too stressed, in a panic, and it was driving me mad.”

“Baby…” You whined as he drew circles over the fabric.

A smirk crept over his lips, “I had you in front of the mirror, the prettiest sounds falling from your lips… But you had to be quiet and you just couldn’t.” Jake withdrew his hand to hook his fingers into your waistband. You lifted your hips from the tabletop so he could pull the shorts down and drop them to the floor, “I had to put my fingers in your mouth to keep you silent and you bit me.” He brought his hand to your lips, tapping them, and you opened your mouth to let his fingers in, rolling your tongue around them, “Hmm. I remember how wet you got, watching me fuck you in the reflection.” He took his hand back and resumed the tortuous swirls on your clit, “Almost as wet as you are now, love…” He gathered your arousal, pinching his thumb and two fingers together to admire it before pushing his fingers into you.

You rested your feet on his knees, “You bit me back- Mmm. Your tee- shit…Your teeth marks were there for d-days.” His fingers were petting at the sweetest spot inside of you, causing your head to drop back with a lilting moan, “I love it when you mark me like that.”

“God, those noises you make…” His mouth was on your inner thigh again, nibbling his way closer to your core, “Fucking angelic, my love.” He opened his mouth, ready to grace you with his tongue but you stopped him.

You grabbed his face, “Jake, please. I wanna feel you.”

“Patience, baby.” He kissed your palm, keeping eye contact with you while fucking you with his fingers.

You sunk your teeth into your lip with a groan, “Just- think of the sounds I’ll make when you’re inside of me.” You knew you had him when his hand started to slow, inevitably stopping. Smirking down at him, you took his hand from you and pulled him to stand from the chair, “You weren’t lying…” You felt for his dick over his pants, feeling just how hard he really was.

“I told you… You’re so beautiful, all the time.” His breath hitched as you dipped below his waistband, grasping him in your hand, “But today- fuck, Y/N… Today you just- There was something different.” Jake squeezed his eyes shut, unable to concentrate on anything other than the way you stroked him.

“Something different, huh? Well, there’s only one thing different about me.” You used your free hand to grab his shirt and pull him closer, speaking into his ear, “Do you like me pregnant, Jake? The fact that my belly is growing…my tits…and it’s all your doing.” You nipped his ear lobe and felt him twitch against your palm.

He grabbed your wrist and removed your hand from his pants in a haste, “I can’t- I gotta- fuck.” Jake stuttered as he pulled his pants down, just enough to free his length, “I gotta have you now, baby.” He was desperate, one hand on your leg while he used the other to guide himself to your entrance.

You held his hips, watching as he slid himself through your folds, “Just do it, baby. Please.” You could feel your arousal gathering into a small puddle beneath you as you oozed with just as much desperation as him. You pulled on him, luring him just where both of you needed, “Fuck me, Jake.” It came out as a pathetic, needy whine but he couldn’t resist.

“I’ll give you anything you want, I swear to god, Y/N… Just keep talking to me like that, tell me what you want, pretty baby.” He finally pushed into you, his brows knitted as he held his breath.

“I want you to kiss me…” You released a soft sigh as he stretched you. His hand weaved into your hair as he leaned in with no hesitation, but you stopped him before his lips could meet yours, “Nuh uh.” You held your index finger over his mouth and he stared in confusion, “Kiss me…here.” You grazed your fingers over your collarbone and he dove in. Starting at your right shoulder, he trailed soft, suckling kisses the whole way to the left, stopping to dip his tongue into the hollow of your neck while giving deep, languid strokes with his cock, “That’s good, baby. Keep fucking me just like that.” You gripped his jaw, pulling his lips to yours in a hungry kiss as you whimpered into his mouth.

He broke away with a strangled groan, letting his head hang, “You fit around me so fucking well-.” He pushed your knees up to let your feet rest on the edge of the table, spreading you open, “So perfect together, baby… You and me…look at us.”

You dropped your gaze to where your bodies met, watching him fill you up over and over, “Touch me. Please just fucking touch me, Jakey.” You spoke through a slew of gasps and moans. Grabbing one of his hands, you pulled his thumb into your mouth, coating it in your spit, “Touch me here.” You guided his hand to your cunt, promoting him to follow your orders. You leaned back on your hands, watching him expertly strum at your clit, “Fuuuuck…That’s- I’m close.” Your eyes started to roll until he stopped moving, making you look up at his face, “Baby…”

Jake had himself buried completely inside of you, nudging your cervix with the tip of his cock. He remained motionless except for his thumb, still spoiling your clit, “Shhh. Stop whining. You think I don’t know how to pull you apart?” He kept his eyes trained on his thumb as he spoke, his voice a calm whisper, “I know your body so well, love… I could break you down to a molecular level and put you back together blindfolded.” His voice was like warm honey; thick and sweet, dripping over your body and drowning you, “You say the word and I’ll make you cum like *snap* that, sweet girl, you know I will.”

You were clenching around him fiercely, admiring how his face contorted with every fluttering pulse. You had no doubt that the second you gave a signal, he’d throw you straight into that endless freefall and you were ready for it, “Jake, now..” You needed it, demanded it.

He took his hand from your pussy and brought it up to curl around your throat, squeezing carefully as he pulled your mouth to meet his, “I told you I’d give you anything you want…” He kept a light hold on your neck, brushing his nose against yours as he drew his hips back. He bent his knees slightly and gave a single, sharp, perfectly angled thrust, watching as your jaw dropped open, “I fucking told you, baby.”

You fought to keep your eyes on his. Your mouth hung agape with a soundless cry as his fingers tightened on your pressure points, forcing your eyes into the back of your head. Your whole body convulsed, laced with zaps of blinding electricity. Your hands frantically grabbed for his hips, pulling on him, wanting him as deep as he could get, as a night sky exploded behind your eyelids. A black backdrop, spotted with tiny, bright specks, luring you into oblivion. He released your neck, allowing you to draw in a deep breath before gasping out, “God, Jake-”

He slowed his thrusts, giving you a moment to come down, “I need one more, my love. Just one.” Jake snaked his arms around your back, pressing your chest flat against his as you nodded silently. He began moving again, slipping into you with no resistance as soft, melodic whimpers poured from your lips, “C’mon, baby, you’re already there.” He watched your face scrunch up, your brows pinched, as you repeatedly opened and closed your mouth, unable to form words.

Your fingers searched for the hem of his shirt, ripping it over his head. You wanted him close, wanted to feel his sweat-sticky skin melded with yours, “I- oh…oh shhh-” You held onto him tightly, nails dragging across his back, “Jake, please… Oh pleasepleaseplease!” It was the last coherent thing you could muster before biting down on his shoulder as your second orgasm hit harder than the first.

“That’s it… That’s-fuck.” He stilled, a shiver rippling through his body as his own climax consumed him. He pulled himself out of you, stroking his length against your clit and letting the first bit of cum paint your pussy before slamming back into you. He lifted your trembling body from the table and sat back in the chair, keeping himself tucked safely inside of you as he hugged you to him and peppered sweet pecks to your skin. Once your aching lungs settled, you pulled back enough to look down between your bodies. Your fingers mindlessly swept over your clit, dragging through the mix of release, before you sucked them into your mouth. Jake’s eyes held onto yours as you lapped his cum from your digits with a mellow hum, “Goddamn, woman…” His hand balled into your locks as he pulled your fingers from your mouth to replace them with his tongue. He licked at your lips, rolling his tongue against your own to taste the both of you as he finally began to soften.

Your head fell to his shoulder as you closed your eyes, “If I wasn’t already pregnant, I definitely would be now.” You stayed there for a while, his hands gently rubbing your back while you listened to his calm breaths, “I’m gonna get up, baby…” You warned before slipping off of his sensitive dick.

He hissed, dropping his head back as you slowly stood from his lap, “Careful. I gotta clean this mess up.” He pushed you to the side, making sure your feet avoided the ceramic shards littering the hardwood, “Sorry, about the plate, love.”

You smiled at him, brushing the hair from his forehead, “Gives me an excuse to buy a new set of dishes.”

“Anything you want.” He stood up, tucking himself into his pants, “Go have a shower, I’m gonna take care of this.” His eyes raked over your naked body as he grasped your hips. You thought he was gonna kiss you but instead, he smirked, staring at your chest, “They’re definitely getting bigger.”

“You’re annoying.” You pushed him away with a laugh, “Clean your mess up, Jacob.” You pointed at the floor behind him before turning around and stalking out of the kitchen. Deciding on a warm bath, you headed straight for the guest bathroom with a plush towel and the small bluetooth speaker. As you waited for the tub to fill, you unlocked your phone to pick a playlist and found a text from Odessa.

Odessa 1:36pm: I miss you!!! Don’t wanna invite you over for another movie night…but we should do something soon pleeease!

You missed her too, missed everyone really. The time you and Jake spent together was great, no doubt, but it had been too long since everyone was together and you were dying for a family night. After sinking into the bubbly water, you texted Dess back.

You 2:25pm: I miss you too❤️ are you free tonight? I think I’m gonna invite the guys over for dinner. I’ll get rid of Jake for a bit and you can come early and help me cook

Odessa 2:27pm: Absolutely! When should I be there, babe?

You 2:28pm: Around 5. Can’t wait to see you!

“Baaaaabe!” You yelled for Jake after dropping your phone on the towel beside the bathtub, “Come heeeeere!”

He came rushing into the bathroom with the dustpan in his hand, “What? Why are you screaming?”

Sitting up, you rested your arms on the side of the tub, laying your chin atop of them, “Tell your brothers to come over for dinner tonight. I miss them.” You held your hand out, wiggling your fingers at him, “Round them up, take ‘em out for a drink or two, and just be back here by seven.”

He took your hand and knelt down, giving you a peck, “And you just decided this yourself?”

“I did. Dess is gonna come over early to help me cook and you need some time out with the guys.” Cupping his cheek, you pulled him in for another kiss, “Just don’t get so drunk that you can’t eat……dinner…” You bit your tongue between your teeth with a smile as he shook his head at you.

“You’re greedy…” Jake dropped your hand as he stood up and started to leave the room, “I’ll call Josh.” He stepped out, leaving the door wide open.

_____________________________________________

“Danny said he’ll drop Odessa off and pick me up, Josh and Sam are gonna meet us at the bar.” Jake was pulling his old tan boots on when a knock sounded on the door, “That’s probably her.” He turned around to open the door, revealing Odessa standing on the porch.

She squealed, pushing past him and straight to you, “You look so much better since the last time I saw you, babe!” She wrapped her arms around you, squeezing hard.

“I feel so much better!” You squeezed her back, keeping her in your embrace until Jake cleared his throat behind her. Releasing her, you looked up at him, “Have fun, baby!” As you turned to pull Odessa further into the house, he stopped you.

“Come back here.” His tone held a certain authority that had you scurrying back to him without question. His arm circled your back, hauling you flush against him, as he whispered over your mouth, “I think I deserve a proper goodbye, don’t you?”

“Hmmm…I don’t know that I can give you a proper goodbye in front of Dess.” You fell into him with a grin, letting your arms hang loosely around his neck, “I love you, Jakey.” You giggled as you kissed him, “Have fun, home by seven.” You gave him a pointed look before peeling out of his hold and grabbing your friend to go to the kitchen. “You want something to drink, hun?” You pulled a stool out at the island for her to sit down.

“Can I ask for wine? Do you even have wine? I don't know what the rules are for pregnant friends…” She took a seat, folding her hands in front of herself as she watched you move around the kitchen.

You laughed, pulling a glass from the cabinet, “There are no rules and of course I have wine. You know who I live with, right?” You grabbed two bottles from the small wine rack, holding them up for her to see, “White or red?”

She pointed to the white and waited patiently as you put the red back and poured her a glass before handing it to her, “Thank you, babe!” Odessa took a long sip from the cup and placed it on the island, “You got the cast off, where is your ring?” Of course she’d be the first to notice…

“Shit…Jake’s been wearing it on one of his necklace chains for safekeeping.” You looked down at your hand, “We were busy today, I guess we both forgot about it.” Lifting your shoulders, you shrugged, biting back the smile as you thought about just how busy you’d been a few hours earlier, “Remind to get it off of him when they get back.”

She eyed you with a knowing look, a smirk tilting her lip, “Yeah, okay…So, what are we cooking?”

“How do you feel about pasta?” You opened the fridge and began pulling out different ingredients, “I was thinking a simple Cacio e Pepe, maybe some bruschetta and a salad?”

“Oooh, that sounds so good!” She stood up and came around the island, “What do you want me to do? Gimme some direction.”

“Do you want to start chopping these? I’m gonna go grab the speaker to play some music.” You placed a cucumber and a few different peppers in front of her and grabbed a knife from the block, “Dice the peppers into big chunks and just slice the cucumber.” You handed her the knife and scampered out of the kitchen. When you returned, you couldn’t help but laugh at the way she haphazardly chopped the veggies.

“What?!” Odessa dropped the knife on the cutting board with a huff, “Danny does most of the cooking at home! I’m trying my best.”

“Oh hush, hun. You’re doing great, just keep going.” You watched as she resumed her task and clicked the power button on the speaker, allowing it to connect to your phone, “What do you wanna listen to? Any preference?”

She grabbed the dish towel to wipe her hands off, “Actually, can I send you this playlist I made a few days ago?” She took her phone from her pocket after you nodded in approval and sent the playlist, “It’s good, I promise! Just full of songs that my mom used to listen to all the time that really stuck with me.”

Opening it up, you pressed the shuffle button without looking through the songs and let it play, “God, I love this song!” You started singing as you walked to the counter behind Odessa to retrieve the pasta dough that had been resting, “Does she speak eloquently? And would she have your baby? I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother!”

“Hell yeah, babe!” Your friend was swaying her hips as she chopped, joining in to sing with you, “And every time you speak her name, does she know how you told me you’d hold me until you died?”

It wasn’t long before the both of you were having a full blown concert performance in your kitchen, using wooden spoons as drumsticks and a rolling pin as a guitar while you sang at the top of your lungs.

And I’m here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away

It’s not fair to deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me

You, you, you oughta know!!!

The song faded out as you both keeled over with laughter, gasping to catch your breath, “Oh my god!” Odessa was wiping the tears from beneath her eyes as she straightened up and tried to stop laughing, “That was fucking amazing, I really needed that!”

You came up behind her and wrapped your arms around her, “Fuck, Dess… I needed that too!” You hugged her tight as she gripped onto your arms and leaned into you, “I love you, Dess…I haven’t thanked you enough for everything you’ve done for me.”

“Awwwe, Y/N, stop. You’re gonna make me cry.” She turned around to face you with a genuine smile, “I would do anything for you, babe. I love you so much…” She paused, her voice taking on a less cheerful tone, “I’ll never forgive myself for bringing Sage into you and Jake’s life.”

“Odessa, it-.”

“Just let me get this out, please. It’s been weighing on me.” She cut you off and you silently nodded for her to continue, “I knew she had her issues, but I swear, I never expected her to try anything with Jake… The day she met him, in Atlanta, I made it clear that he wasn’t available. Hell, he made it crystal clear the way he ignored her desperate attempts at flirting.” She shook her head with a sigh, “She kept going on about him on our drive back and I told her, again, that you guys had been together forever and she needed to just forget about him, and I thought she did. She didn’t bring him up once to me after that and then at the bar that night, when I introduced her to you, I really thought she was over it. She didn’t even look at him once.” You listened intently, wanting to hear her point of view, “I wanted you two to be friends so bad. She was my best friend, but you and I were getting closer and I just thought you two could love each other as much as I loved you both…But she started changing and I didn’t realize it at first and maybe if I had-” Odessa leaned back against the counter, trying to blink away tears, “Maybe I could’ve prevented all of the shit she- I’m so sorry, Y/N.” Her cries echoed through the kitchen as she put her head into her hands.

You could feel your own tears forming as you reached out to hug her again, “Do not blame yourself, Dess. None of it is your fault. She’s manipulative, conniving…just a twisted fucking person. I was the one who let her get close to me.” You released her and stepped back, “I saw the red flags, ignored my gut feelings, and at the end of the day, that’s on me. But nobody is to blame for the psycho shit she did except her. She made her choices and she should have to fucking pay for them.” You took a deep breath, suddenly feeling angry.

Odessa used her sleeve to wipe her cheeks with a sniffle, “Yeah…I wanted to ask how she isn’t…like…in prison?”

“Haaa. Because she literally manipulates everyone. I don’t know how she does it, but she’s good.” You were chewing on your lip, thinking back on the last visit from Detective Walsh, “Do you remember the detectives that came to the hospital? The one was an asshole.”

She took a few seconds to think before nodding her head, “Oh god, yeah. They talked to me in the waiting room and the one with the mustache, he was super patient and listened well. The other guy hardly let me get a word in. He would ask a question and then fill my mouth with his own answers before I could say anything.”

“Yeah, well, his hostility came from the fact that he was fucking Sage.” You said it with a grim chuckle, “Detective Walsh came by a few weeks ago and told us that his partner got suspended after they found out. But get this…Sage said that the other detective forced her to do everything and now there’s an entire separate investigation going on that paints her as a victim.” Your head dropped back as you trained your eyes on the light above you, your voice a whisper, “It’s like she’s always one step ahead…I just wish there was a way to beat her at her own game.”

“I mean, she admitted to stalking you, taking those videos and pictures… Shouldn’t that be enough to prove she’s guilty of something?” She crossed her arms over her chest as she stared at you.

“There’s no proof that she admitted to it. She said it to us, yeah, but it’s just ‘hearsay.’” You held your fingers up with air quotes as you picked your head up to look at her again, “Detective Walsh said it’s a he said/she said and that without tangible evidence, it’s inadmissible.” You shrugged your shoulders in defeat.

Odessa’s brows were drawn together in thought for a moment, “But what if you can get her to admit it?” She was thinking hard and you waited for her to elaborate, “You said she’s always one step ahead, but everyone has a weakness, Y/N…And I think we know what her weakness is, or who anyways.” She spoke carefully, unsure of how you would react to her suggestion.

“No. Absolutely not. Jake has been through way too much at her hands.” You were shaking your head profusely, “I wanna see her get what she deserves more than anybody, but I will not use him to speed the process up.”

“Okay. Hey, forget I even suggested it, babe.” She grasped your face in her hands, brightening her tone, “How about we get back to dinner?”

You looked at the digital clock on the stove, “Shit… They’re gonna be back in an hour and I do not have time to roll and cut the pasta.” You picked up the bowl of dough from the countertop, poking it with your fingers, “We’re just gonna have to scrap it and use store bought.” You flipped the bowl over and let the dough ball drop into the trashcan before going to the pantry for the boxed pasta, “Alright, get in the fridge and grab the arugula, the parmesan wedge and the cherry tomatoes.” Grabbing a large pot from a cabinet below the counter, you began filling it up with water to place on the stove.

Odessa came back to the island with everything you told her to retrieve, “Now what?”

“Uhhh… Hang on.” You climbed up on the counter to get your big, wooden salad bowl from on top of the refrigerator, “Here. Put the arugula in here, the peppers, cucumbers, slice the tomatoes in half and throw them in and then shave some parm strips into it.” You hopped down and gave her the bowl then grabbed the cheese grater for her, “I’m gonna make a dressing while I wait on this water to boil, turn the music up!” You pointed at the speaker that was still playing her playlist.

“Yes, chef!” She was quick to follow your orders, dropping everything into the bowl as she finished cutting the veggies.

You whirled through the kitchen, reaching for a mixing bowl and snatching a whisk from a drawer, before stopping to mix up a vinaigrette. Cutting a lemon in half, you squeezed the juice into your bowl and added some cracked black pepper and a pinch of salt, then a bit of dijon mustard and some garlic and whisked it rapidly. Once you were satisfied with how everything was mixed, you picked up the olive oil and began drizzling it into the bowl while constantly stirring, allowing it to emulsify. You ran your finger along the utensil and licked the dressing off to taste it, “Dess, taste this and tell me what you think. Is it too much lemon?” You held the whisk up for her to try it.

She dragged her finger over the metal and pulled it into her mouth, “Mmm!” Her eyes were wide as she tasted the vinaigrette, “That’s so fucking good!” She picked up a slice of cucumber and dipped it into the dressing before tossing it into her mouth, “I need that recipe, babe…”

You giggled as she mumbled past the food, “I’ll write it down for you later. Once you have the salad finished, drizzle this over top and give it a good toss.” You passed the bowl to her and went to tend to the boiling water. After dropping the noodles into the pot, you spent a few minutes to whip up a quick garlic bread and get it in the oven to bake.

Everything was coming together smoothly and you and Odessa were singing along to the music and setting the table with minutes to spare before the guys got in. You placed the main dish in the center of the table, with the salad and garlic bread on either side of it, while she gathered silverware. Once it was all set, you both took a break to dance around the kitchen while the music played, Keep Your Hands to Yourself by Georgia Satellites.

My honey, my baby, don’t put my love upon no shelf

She said, ‘Don’t hand me no lines, and keep your hands to yourself’

You and Odessa were laughing through the lyrics as you twirled each other around the room and didn’t hear the boys come in until Jake opened his mouth, “What the fuck is going on?” He couldn’t contain his smile as he watched you shake your hips. He was coming across the kitchen, arms extended as he grasped your waist to pull you in, “Food smells good, love…” He was half shouting over the music and your own voice as you kept singing.

He leaned in for a kiss but you planted a hand on his chest while wagging a finger in his face with a wicked smile, “I said, honey, I’ll live with ya for the rest of my life… She said, no huggee, no kissee until you make me a wife!” You pinched the ring that hung on his necklace between your fingers and held it in front of his face, “My honey, my baby…Don’t put my love upon no shelf-.” You were cut off by Jake circling his arms around you and lifting you from the floor. You let out a squeal, wrapping your arms around his neck as he spun you.

He let you back onto your feet and pulled his necklace off to remove the ring and slide it into its rightful place on your finger, “Can I have a kiss now?”

“I guess so…” Your fist balled into his shirt to yank him against you and you let his lips find yours, “Mmm. You taste like bourbon.” Your tongue dragged across your lip and you’re sure Jake must’ve seen the fire that ignited in your eyes as he responded.

“You want me to just send everyone home so I can eat?” His voice was low, but not low enough to evade Sam’s ears, “I’m famished…”

“You guys are gross!” He was talking with a full mouth and you looked past Jake to see him standing with a piece of garlic bread in his hand.

You rolled your eyes at, “Sammy… You couldn’t wait for everyone to sit down?” You turned the music down as you padded over to him, “We worked too hard on this for you to just stick your grubby fingers in everything, go wash your hands.” You pointed to the sink.

He scoffed, rolling his eyes at you, “Y’know, I’m not your kid. You can’t boss me around like that.” It was a moot point, proved by the way he stalked past you to the sink and scrubbed his hands as you’d instructed.

“Hey, mama!” Josh tapped your shoulder and pulled you into a suffocating hug, “Dinner looks great, thanks for inviting us.” He placed a soft kiss to your cheek before releasing you and looking over your body, “You look good, Y/N.”

“You say that everytime you see me, Joshy.” You reached up to fluff his curls a bit, a habit you’d picked up over the past few weeks since he’d been around more often, “But I still appreciate it.”

He swatted your hand away with a gentle smile, “I know, but there’s something today…Something about your aura, maybe? I don’t know, I can’t place it.” He was studying you like he was trying to figure it out.

“Yanno, I said the same thing earlier.” Jake came up beside his twin with a smirk, “It’s something different…” His eyes flicked down to your chest and back up.

“Okay, yeah. Let’s eat?” You could feel your face getting hot as you headed for the table, stopping to give Danny a hug.

Your face pressed into his chest as he squeezed you, “It’s good to see you doing better, Y/N. You do look good.”

“She looks better than good. She’s hot as hell.” Odessa raised her third glass of wine to you from her seat at the table that she claimed 20 minutes earlier.

Sammy was behind you, his hands on your shoulders, “I don’t know what you’re all seeing… She looks a little rough to me. Kinda stinky too.”

You jabbed your elbow into his stomach, “Well then you probably don’t wanna eat my stinky food… Guess you’ll just have to order a pizza.” You turned around to stare up at him with a smile before forcing him into a hug, “I missed you, Sammy.”

He instinctively embraced you, his arms wrapping tightly around your shoulders, “I missed you too. But can we eat? It smells so good.” He pulled back with a grin as you nodded and gestured to the table.

“My love.” Jake held his hand out for you to take and led you to the table, pulling your chair out. Everybody else took their seats, Jake at the head of the table, Danny opposite him as usual. You and Josh were on either side of Jake, Sam beside you and Odessa beside Josh, her hand grasped in Danny’s.

They all took turns spooning food onto their plates. Jake made sure your plate was filled before he even thought about putting food on his own, “Baby, that’s too much.” You grabbed his wrist, stopping him from scooping another helping of pasta, “I was snacking while I cooked, I’m not that hungry.” He gave you a certain look. One that said he knew you were lying as he tilted his brows in question. You shook your head, dismissing whatever he was thinking, “I’m okay, baby. Promise. Just a little nauseous.” You whispered quietly to keep it between the two of you.

“You want me to make you some tea?” He took your hand, bringing it to his lips, “Tell me how to make it go away, love.” His lips brushed over your knuckles and you smiled at the way he still sent butterflies through your gut.

“Maybe just some water?” Your eyes followed him as he got up and went to the fridge to get you a bottle of water and came back, “Thank you, lover.” You leaned over the table to give him a kiss before settling back into your chair.

Conversations carried on as everyone ate and after a while, you all ended up scattered through the house. You sat on the couch, curled up to Sam as he rambled to Daniel about a science project they had in high school. Josh was thumbing through the shelf of vinyls, grumbling about how none of it was what he wanted to listen to. You giggled to yourself, watching him toss his hands around as he talked to himself.

“Josh, honey, what are you looking for?” You pushed off of Sam to stand up from the couch.

“Bob Dylan!” He threw his hands above his head with a growl, “Where is the Bob fucking Dylan?!”

Kneeling down beside Josh, you scanned through the vinyls yourself, “You know what, Jake might have some records in his office, come look?” You started the trek towards the back of the house with him on your heels. You noticed Jake and Odessa conversing in the kitchen as you passed and wondered what they were talking about. Pushing the door to the spare bedroom open, you stepped aside for Josh to enter and pointed to the record cabinet, “He always hoards a bunch in there. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to fight for my BB King albums… He likes to think that all the best stuff belongs to him.”

“That’s because it does.” Jake was standing in the doorway with a sweet smile, “What are you guys doing?” His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you against him.

Josh was coming towards you, carrying a few albums, “Needed Dylan.” He held the vinyls up to his twin and stalked past him, heading back to the living room with everyone else.

“Baby, we’re gonna need to find a place for all of your stuff here.” You gestured around the room.

Jake walked further into the room, pulling you with him, “Maybe we just need a bigger house.” He sat in his leather chair, yanking you down onto his lap, “How do you feel about moving? Finding something with more space? I’ve been thinking about it and I just don’t think this place is gonna be big enough.”

You tangled your fingers with his, thinking it over, “This is home, Jake.” You held eye contact with him, “This is where we’ve built our life, where we really started… I don’t wanna just pack up and move on, leaving all the memories.” A grin cracked across your face as you spoke, “I want to make more memories. With our baby… I want to make him bacon and eggs in our kitchen and give him bubble baths with toys in the clawfoot tub.” He brought your hand to his mouth, holding your knuckles against his lips while he listened, “I want to sit him on our sink to put a bandaid over his knee when he gets his first booboo and fall asleep on the couch with him during nap time… Uncle Sammy and Uncle Danny will teach him how to swim in our pool and pyromaniac Uncle Joshy will teach him how to start a fire in the pit for the best s’mores.” Your voice cracked a bit as you started to get emotional, “If we need more room, we can build an addition. We can build ten hundred additions, I don’t care… But I don’t want to leave, Jake.”

He was blinking quickly, trying to hide the tears that threatened his eyes, “You’re right. This is home.” He nodded as his grin started to match yours, “We’ll make room, build an addition, it doesn’t matter. We’ll stay here forever if that’s what you want, my love. I’ll start packing shit up tomorrow and we can get to planning his room.” He brushed his fingers over your legs as you both looked around the room, dreaming up possible colors and themes.

Silence fell over the two of you for a bit until you tilted your head to look at him, “Hey. What were you and Dess talking about in the kitchen?”

The question caught him off guard and he hesitated before answering, “Uhh, it was nothing…” Jake paused, but he realized you weren’t going to let it go until he gave you an answer, “It was- I just never really apologized to her for some things I said while you were in the hospital.”

“What did you say to her?”

“It’s not important anymore.” He tucked the hair behind your ear, giving you your favorite, warm smile, but you could still see it in his eyes; He was fighting with something that he didn’t want to tell you. “Should we head back out there?”

Deciding not to press any harder in the moment, you nodded and stood from his lap, “We left all the children with Daniel, he’s probably ripping his hair out.”

You both rejoined the group and it wasn’t much longer before Jake was shooing everyone out the door, “Y/N is tired, it’s past her bedtime.” He chuckled as he pried Sam out of the hug he had you wrapped in, “Get out, Sammy. It’s time to go home.” Everybody took their turns to hug you and say their goodbyes before leaving. He closed the front door and locked the deadbolt before turning back to face you, “I’ve been waiting to get you to myself…”

“So… The funny thing is- I’m actually tired.” You scrunched your nose at him as you spun around to head to the bedroom, “You need to shower.” You stated it plainly before disappearing down the hallway. You changed into a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt and climbed into bed. Jake passed the doorway on his way to the bathroom. He showered fast to join you in bed as quickly as he could, “You didn’t have to rush, baby.” You rolled over to face him as he slipped beneath the comforter.

His hair was still wet, soaking into his pillow as he laid down, “I didn’t want you to fall asleep without me…” He lifted his arm, allowing you to snuggle into him.

You drew circles over his abdomen with your index finger, “Jake, you don’t have to keep worrying about the dreams… I’ll call that therapist tomorrow.” You felt him hum in approval and press a kiss to the top of your head. The darkness and the quiet of the night lured Jake to sleep quickly and you listened to his gentle breaths, waiting for the calm to take you as well while pondering how to fix the trauma on your own. Unfortunately, the only answer you could come up with was going to the source and she was the last thing you wanted to deal with…

_____________________________________________

No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t fall asleep. It wasn’t Jake’s snoring or the dreams keeping you awake this time, it was the deep rumble in your stomach. You tried to ignore it, but it was persistent. You looked over at Jake, making sure he was definitely sleeping, before carefully sliding out of the bed. You padded into the kitchen, keeping your footsteps light on the hardwood, and flipped on the light above the sink before heading into the pantry. Unsure of what you even wanted, you started piling things into your arms. Peanut butter, a bag of pretzels, a pack of chicken ramen; everything made your stomach growl harshly. You left the pantry and placed your findings on the island to go to the fridge and gather more random items. A bag of carrots, a variety of cheeses and a few other things, later, and you were hoisting yourself up on the island. Crossing your legs beneath you, you leaned over to pull a drawer open, grabbing yourself a spoon. You spun the lid off the peanut butter, taking a heaping spoonful and giving it a few licks before reaching for the carrots. Dragging a baby carrot through the creamy peanut butter, you chomped on it, crunching loudly with a delighted hum. You moved on, indulging in different food combinations, each one oddly better than the last.

You had a slice of mango on top of a cool ranch dorito, mid bite, when the kitchen illuminated with the overhead light, “Y/N, what are you doing?” Jake was rubbing his eyes as he took in the scattering of food surrounding you, “It’s after two in the morning, love.”

“I couldn’t sleep…” You mumbled in defense, plopping the rest of the fruit and chip into your mouth, “He was hungry, daddy.” You poked your lip out as you rubbed your belly.

He tried to fight the smile creeping over his lips as he crossed the room to you, “Well, when his cravings make momma sick, I don’t wanna hear it.” Jake leaned on the counter, observing the weird buffet, “Are you really eating all of this?” He reached for the pile of pretzels sitting beside you.

“Baby, I wouldn’t-.”

His hand recoiled, a look of disgust on his face, “Why are they wet?!” He wiped his hand over your sweatpants.

You giggled sheepishly, “We don’t like pretzels anymore, just the salt.”

“You’re just sucking the salt- Why not just eat table salt, Y/N?” He was gazing at you like you were from another planet.

“First of all, that’s gross. The pretzel salt has a pretzel taste, table salt is only good with tequila, Jacob.” You picked your small paring knife up and cut another sliver of mango, “You have to try this, baby…” Placing the slice on a paper towel, you drizzled it with sriracha and honey before stabbing it with a fork and offering it to Jake.

“I’m not eating that.” He was shaking his head vigorously, “You shouldn’t eat that. You really are gonna make yourself sick.”

Pulling the fork to your mouth, you took a bite of the fruit, “Oh hush. I feel fine and this is delicious.” You took the rest from the fork, doing a little happy shimmy as you chewed, “It’s even better with a dorito…oooh! and cream cheese with lemons is also really good, babe.” You reached for the last slice of lemon on the countertop but he snatched it from your fingers and put it back down.

His mouth dropped into a grimace, “Alright, that’s enough. It’s bedtime.” He grabbed your legs, pulling you to the edge of the island and helping you down, “I’ll clean up. Go brush your teeth and then straight to bed.” Jake pointed to the kitchen doorway, shooing you off.

“God, you’re such a buzzkill, dad…” You rolled your eyes before turning away, earning yourself a light tap on the ass, “Hurry up, I’m tired.” You rounded the doorway and headed for the bathroom to follow Jake’s instructions. When you entered the bedroom, he was already tucked back into bed, waiting for you, “You put the fridge stuff away and left everything else, didn’t you?”

He held his hand out for you with a sleepy smile, “It’s almost three now. I’ll clean the rest up tomorrow.” Once you slipped your fingers over his palm, he pulled you down on top of him, hugging you to his body, “I love you, baby. You know that, right?” His voice was quiet, meant only for you and no other thing, living or not, in the universe, “This life that we’ve built- that we’re building… I still can’t believe we’re starting a family, Y/N.”

“We already have a family, Jake, we’re just expanding it with a little piece of us.” You snuggled into him, pressing your nose into his cheek, “He’s gonna have the best uncles and grandparents and, most importantly, the absolute greatest daddy in the world.” You squeezed your arms around him as you kissed his jaw, “I can’t wait to see all the things you teach him, baby… Do they make tiny SG’s for little baby hands?”

“I don’t think they do, my love.” He placed a lingering kiss on your forehead with a chuckle, “He might not want anything to do with music, maybe he’ll wanna be a chef like his momma, take over the family business.” Turning his head, he stared up at the ceiling, deep in his thoughts.

You watched Jake’s smile grow, lighting up his eyes, and it made your heart swell but your anxiety was still poking at your brain, “What are the chances we don’t completely fuck this up, Jake?” You rolled off of him and onto your back, now staring at the ceiling as well, “What if I’m like…the worst mom? What if I get everything wrong?”

“Hey.” He rolled over, cupping your cheek to make you look at him, “We’re in this together. It’s new for both of us and we’re bound to make mistakes.” His hand went to your waist, pulling you against his chest, “I have no doubt that you’ll be an amazing mom, baby.” There was a pause before he added, “And on the very slight chance that we do fuck this up, we can always do better with the second one.”

“The second one?” You went wide-eyed as you tilted your head to look at him, catching his dimple as he tried to hide his smirk, “Okay, Jakey… I need some sleep before we get into that conversation.” He rolled away to turn the lamp off and came right back to his place, holding you against him once more. You snaked an arm over him before giving his lips one single peck, “I love you too, by the way.”

_____________________________________________

You sat at the small table in the corner, checking the time on your phone. You hated lying to Jake, hated that he had no clue what you were doing. When you couldn’t sleep, most of your tossing and turning in bed was accompanied by thoughts of the conversation you had with Odessa. But what if you can get her to admit it? You weren’t willing to use Jake. There was no way you could involve him in anything to do with her… So when you woke up and texted Sage to meet you today, you knew you needed an excuse to give Jake. “Baby, I’m just gonna get a ride into the city, I wanna grab a coffee and pick a few things up.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, you were sitting in a cafe right now, sipping a coffee. It just wasn’t the whole truth. He tried to argue, tried to tell you he would drive you, but you declined, telling him that you just wanted some time to yourself. He relented, watching you from the porch as you walked down the driveway and got into the back of an Uber. Now you waited. Would she show up? You checked the time again before opening up the text thread and reading back over your message.

You 8:05am: I’m giving you one chance to talk. I’ll be at the coffee shop at 10. You know which one. I’ll wait until 10:15.

It was 10:11pm when you put your phone down and looked up to see her coming through the door. She paused to look for you before slinking between other tables to get to yours.

She sat across from you, a weary look on her face and a rush in her words, “Why am I here, Y/N?” She was looking around the area, searching for something.

“If you’re looking for Jake, he’s not here.” You sat back in your chair, crossing your arms over your chest, “As for why you’re here, I just want to talk.”

She scoffed, almost like she was annoyed, “Talk about what? You have a restraining order against me, I could get in trouble for being here.”

“Of all the fucking damage you caused… That’s what you’re worried about?” Your disbelief was evident, “Why won’t you stop?” You stared at her, waiting for an answer, but she refused to meet your eyes, “After everything you’ve done, you owe me an explanation. Why us? Why me, Sage?”

“Because you don’t deserve him.” She finally lifted her head to look at you, tapping her fingers on the table, “You made it easy.” Her face showed no signs of remorse, “All I had to do was flirt, feed you a few lines… You were hooked the minute you saw me.”

“I don’t deserve him?” You sat up, resting your elbows on the table to really look at her, “You think you deserve him, Sage? Think you can make him happier?” You cocked an eyebrow at her, tilting your head.

A humorless laugh dripped from her mouth, “At least he would be enough for me, Y/N. I don’t need the attention of all of his brothers or people I meet in bars. I only need him.”

Now it was your turn to laugh, “Wow, you won’t let that one go, huh?” You picked up your coffee, taking a sip as you shook your head, “You know I didn’t sleep with either of them. I’m sure you’d have the proof if I did, but you don’t… You’ve been lingering in the background for months, just hoping to catch me doing whatever it was you suspected.” You leaned in close, dropping your voice low, “And when there was nothing to show for your psycho stalking, when you realized that nothing could come between me and Jake… You snapped. You wanted me gone so that you could slither your way in. Am I getting warmer?” You could tell the smirk on your face was eating away at her.

“He left after the Josh video, though, didn’t he? How did you sweet talk your way out of that one?” She leaned in as well, clenching her jaw.

“I didn’t need to sweet talk, honey. The truth presented itself on that one. Solid try, though.” You knew you’d successfully gotten under her skin and you were ready to end the conversation with one final blow. Sliding your chair out, you stood up, looking down on her, “Despite your efforts, I have a baby to worry about now.” You lifted your left hand to examine your ring, “Oh! And a wedding to plan.” You held your hand in front of her face, “You’re the least of my worries now, Sage…but I have a feeling that I’m still the most of yours.” Grabbing your coffee from the table, you flashed her a smile and walked by her to leave. She was pissed, seething with rage, but that was exactly what you wanted. She was right where you needed her, all you had to do was wait for her to take the bait.

Sage POV

You? Worried about her? Jake doesn’t want her… She’ll never be good enough for him, you just have to make him see that. But through all of your attempts, she still manages to wiggle her way out of everything. Manages to keep him in her grasp. He doesn’t want to marry her. She just has him believing that her baby is his, but you know better. Turning in your seat, you looked out the large window, watching her climb into the backseat of what must be an Uber. You watched the car pull away from the curb, an unkempt anger bubbling through your veins, until you felt a light tap on your shoulder. You whipped your head around to see him. Jake. Your Jake. He looked sexy…Always so sexy, “Jake… What is this?” You looked around, waiting for her to come back at any second, but then his fingers were on your chin, guiding your eyes back to him.

“She left, Sage. I have to be quick, she thinks I’m at home.” He spoke softly as he dropped his hand and took a seat across from you, “I’ve been trying to get away to see you for weeks…”

Something didn’t feel right… You craned your neck, scoping out the cafe again, “What is happening? Why are you here?” Slowly, your gaze came back to him, awaiting an answer.

He reached across the table, placing his hand on top of yours, and you thought you felt it trembling, but his steady voice distracted you, “I can’t be with her anymore, I don’t love her…” His voice. Oh god, his voice was like the greatest melody ever created, “I haven’t loved her for a long time, Sage.”

Why was he admitting this to you now? What was the catch? “At the hospital, you- What you said…” You thought back to his exact words, cringing at the way he screamed at you, “You said I was demented.” Your gaze went back to the window as you watched the cars go by, but your focus remained on the feeling of his hand over yours.

“I know. I had to. Everyone was there.” He paused until you brought your eyes back to him, “She was dying… I-” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat before continuing, “It would’ve looked bad if I just left her at a time like that.” He was shaking his head like his thoughts were troubling him, “It’s still hard… To leave her, I mean. She’s almost completely healed, but the baby-”

You cut him off, gripping his hand tightly in yours, “Jake, that baby isn’t yours!” You tried to keep your voice to a whisper to not draw attention to your corner, “I know in my heart it isn’t and we can find proof.”

He pried his hand from you to push his hair out of his face with a sigh, “I don’t know. She swears it’s mine, Sage. She wouldn’t lie, would she?”

“That’s all she does, babe. Just lie and manipulate and she’s not gonna stop until somebody makes her…” You took a deep breath, studying his face, his eyes, his body. Searching for any indication that he wasn’t being genuine with you before you confessed everything to him. His brown eyes were sad, you could see the pain he was fighting in them. He hated his life with her. She made him miserable. Only you could free him from it, “Jake, I need to tell you something…”

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sacredjake · 1 year

Text

To Be Loved By You

pairing: sam kiszka x reader

word count: 4.1k

warnings: angst, pining, fluff, drinking. let me know if i missed anything

i’ve gone back and forth on this fic and almost wasn’t going to post it, but here we are. this fic is very, very loosely based off the song To Be Loved By You by Parker McCollum. every time i heard it i just had this vision in my head for some reason and needed it out :) huge thank you to @malany-gvf and @gretasimp for proofreading and editing <3

———————

“So? What do you think?”

The words bounced around in your head, creating a hollow echo against your brain. You should be ecstatic, over the moon, jumping with joy. Part of you was, but another part of you just felt sad. And you hated yourself for it.

“Oh my god… Is it that bad?!” Seth’s panicked words brought you back from the corner in your mind where you had been hiding away.

“Oh no! No! Seth, it’s perfect. Em is going to absolutely freak and say yes. Honestly, you planned the perfect proposal and I am so excited for you both!” You quickly shoved your sadness deep down to reassure him that his engagement proposal to your best friend is perfect.

And it was. Seth had everything planned out exactly as you would expect, so when your best friend, Emily, said “yes” you were not surprised in the slightest. You were extremely happy for them both, but it also loomed over you as a reminder of how awful your own love life was.

You had never been in a serious relationship and every date you went on was an utter disaster. The guy was either a creep, or wasn’t interested in actually dating. After so many years of your closest friends falling in love and getting married, you were starting to turn bitter and sad about the subject of love entirely.

“Ugh, Sam, you should’ve seen it. It was absolutely perfect, and of course she said yes because I mean, how could she not?!” You exasperate over the phone to your best friend as you walk inside your apartment and drop your keys on the kitchen counter.

“And the way he looked at her? My god he looked at her like she was the only woman to ever walk the earth. And when she said yes? I just can’t even take it anymore. I am beyond happy for her, I am, but when is it gonna be my turn? When am I going to fall in love? When am I going to have a guy look at me like I am the only woman to ever exist?”

Sam gave you a hefty sigh from the other end of the phone as you continued to ramble and pity yourself, voice beginning to crack from the heavy emotions you felt.

You made your way through your apartment towards your bathroom to get ready for bed, petting your cat who lay on the armrest of the couch along the way.

“C’mon y/n, stop talking like that. There are tons of guys out there who would fall at your feet if you so much as glanced their way. Maybe your time is coming soon.” Sam effectively cut off your rambling, but his words of optimism didn’t help. If anything they drove you closer to tears.

As you entered the bathroom, you could feel your throat closing and water starting to prickle in your eyes, your chest tightening with hurt and sorrow. You shut the door with your back pressed against the wood and slide down the length of it until you were sitting on the cool tile.

“Don’t say that to me, Sam. Please. I’ll only get my hopes up for nothing to happen. Constantly reminded that I’m unloved.” You choked back a sob trying not to cry to your best friend on the phone. You have done enough of that these days.

Sam has heard and seen it all. He was the person you were able to go to with these things because unlike all of your other friends, he was single. He knew what it felt like to be lonely and want someone to share things with. But my god was he so optimistic and hopeful with you, always ensuring that there was someone out there for you.

“You are not unlovable, Angel. Far from it. You just need to… I don’t know… gain a new perspective on things?” His nickname for you caused another round of sobs to wrack through your body. It wasn’t often that he called you Angel anymore, but when he did it was always in situations like this. When you needed it most.

He sounded sad and longing, but you were too wrapped up in your own pity to even notice. It stayed silent for a few moments while you tried to pull it together, Sam giving you time to gather yourself.

“I think I’m going to go to bed. Could you do me a favor?”

“Anything for you, Angel.”

“Could you be my plus one for this wedding? I know I will be in the bridal party, but I don’t think I can stomach it without you.” Tears threatened to fall from your eyes once again as you spoke.

“I would love to be your plus one. I’ll be there.” His voice was soft and gentle, calming your emotions once again. You took a deep breath and stood from your place on the ground.

“Thank you, Sam. I appreciate you so much.” You gave a slight smile even though he couldn’t see you.

“Anytime, Angel. I’m always here. Get some rest, okay? Goodnight.” You could picture the look on his face perfectly in your mind. Eyes and smile soft and warm on his face as he bid you goodnight.

“Goodnight, Sam.” Ending the call and you continued your regular nightly routine, but still feeling weighed down by your own heart, the sadness lingering. You knew eventually it would subside, but tonight was another night in which you would fall asleep alone, wishing for the comfort of another.

—————————-

As the months passed on, Emily had asked you to be a bridesmaid, as you had suspected she would. You were thrilled to be a part of her big day in this way, but being a bridesmaid also meant you were constantly talking about wedding things and love. Which songs they will play, what song they wanted their first dance as a married couple to be, what kind of cake and flowers and decorations they would have. It was exhausting.

By the time the wedding rolled around you were grateful the whole ordeal was going to be over. Part of it was the stress of having bridesmaid responsibilities, but the other was because it was a constant reminder that you were alone. All of the other bridesmaids were either taken or married which didn’t help the resentment towards love that you were beginning to feel after months of helping plan this wedding. Not that you would ever let it show around them or Em, but you couldn’t wait to be out from under its crushing weight.

You vented to Sam about the wedding and how you felt, frequently. You would have felt bad constantly burdening him with your emotions had you been able to see past them. He never faltered and always seemed willing to listen and give advice. You were thankful that you had him, and even more thankful that he still agreed to come with you to the wedding.

“Alright people! It’s showtime!” Em’s sister, Audrey gathered the attention of the bridal party, signaling that the wedding was about to begin. You walked over to Em one last time before finding your place among the other bridesmaids.

“Congratulations, Em. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and I am so happy for you.” You lightly grasped her shoulders as you spoke. Tears began to well in both of your eyes and deciding neither of you could afford to ruin your makeup now you added with a pointed finger, “And if Seth ever hurts you, I will kick his ass.” Causing you both to laugh lightly.

“I know you will, y/n. I know you will.” She shook her head giggling slightly. You let go of her shoulder to give her a tight hug, basking in each other for a moment. You pulled away from Em giving her a soft smile before joining the other bridesmaids to begin the wedding procession.

As you joined the groomsman you had been paired with and marched down the aisle, you searched for Sam. His eyes found yours in the crowd of people sitting in the pews and he shot you a smile and wink, earning a smile from you in return.

The way Seth watched Em walk down the aisle pulled on your heart, drawing it near your stomach. His eyes were solely focused on her, tears threatening to break through as she approached closer with every step. You longed for someone to look at you that way, to love you that deeply and strongly.

The ceremony was beautiful and filled with tears from all throughout the church. You cheered loudly as the newlyweds walked out to their awaiting car to be swept off towards the reception venue. Eventually you were able to find Sam among the sea of people leaving their places in the pews.

“Thank you for coming, Sam.” You greeted him with a hug and bright smile, though he could see the sadness that held your eyes. He immediately wrapped his arms around your frame, hugging you close with his chin resting lightly on the top of your head. He was intoxicating. His warmth, his smell, his touch, everything about him soothed you and drew you in.

“Anything for you, always.” He squeezes you tightly before letting go. Gesturing you to walk outside, you followed his direction out of the church and into the warm spring air.

“Nice suit, I didn’t know you could clean up this well.” You nodded to his outfit of choice. He was wearing a deep red blazer and dress pants set that complimented his skin well. You ran your hand down the sleeve of his blazer feeling the crushed red velvet beneath your fingers.

“Not so bad yourself. I think fuschia suits you.” He nodded his head back towards you and gave you a wink. You wrinkled your nose and pretended to gag at his words.

“Please, you know I hate the color pink.”

“You never listen, huh? This isn’t just pink, it’s fuschia.” Sam huffed jokingly. Shaking your head you lightly shoved his shoulder with your hand, barely pushing him away from you.

“It’s still a shade of pink, dummy.” You looked around and noticed that most of the guests had cleared out of the vicinity, more than likely heading to the reception hall. “We should probably get going though. Mind if I ride with you to the reception? I rode with Audrey here.”

“Not at all. This way, milady.” Sam held his arm out for you to loop yours through, guiding you to his car. Your time with Sam didn’t last long, as you had to perform your last bridesmaid duty. Pictures.

You didn’t mind this aspect of being a bridesmaid, it was just extremely tedious, and you were not a fan of having your picture taken. You were relieved when the photographer announced that they would be taking pictures of the newlyweds and you were free to join the guests in the reception hall.

As you walked into the open ballroom you began scanning the area for Sam, finding him sitting at a table with his back to you, in what looked to be a deep conversation with a girl. She was laughing at something he said with her hand on his upper arm, leaning in closer to him. You instantly felt anger bubbling inside of you, rising up to your face. You couldn’t explain why you felt this way, but you were definitely feeling an odd tinge of jealousy. Deciding to bypass Sam and the girl, you walked straight to the bar to order a drink. Thank god Em and Seth insisted on having an open bar, you were going to need the liquor.

As you waited in line, you felt a hand gently land on the backside of your tricep. Turning your head slightly you were met with Sam’s face looking down at you, a soft smile gracing his lips. You offered the best smile you could muster, shoving the ugly green monster back into his little box and turned back to face the bar.

Sam still felt the shift in your mood as you turned away from him without a word. He dropped his hand from your arm, and opted to not bring it up in fear that it would only upset you further.

“What can I get for you?” The bartender looked up from the current order they were working on as you approached the bar.

“Can I have a jack and coke, please?” Sam glanced at you, eyebrows raised in surprise at the drink you ordered. You didn’t drink jack and coke unless you were planning on getting drunk, fast, and he knew it.

“And for you?” The bartender looked towards Sam waiting to fill his order.

“Tequila soda, please.” The bartender got to work on your drinks as you and Sam stood in silence. In a few moments you both had your drinks and were heading back towards the table you saw Sam sitting at with the girl earlier. Although, this time she was nowhere to be found.

“Drinking heavy tonight?” Sam nodded his head towards the drink in your hand as you sat down, taking a sip of your jack and coke.

“I figured I’d need something stronger than my usual to get me through tonight.” You shrugged, taking another sip. You weren’t sure it was even possible, but his eyes softened more at your reply. He rested his hand on your knee and gave it a light squeeze. Even through the fabric of your dress, your skin felt warm under his touch.

His hand didn’t linger for long as he picked up his glass and tilted it towards yours. “Then drink we shall.” He gently knocked his glass against yours before lifting it to his lips.

The night went on, and Sam helped lift your mood as toasts were made, food was served and drinks were downed. You were definitely feeling slightly drunk from the rounds of drinks you frequently got, and that helped to soothe the sting of heartache. However, your mood quickly turned sour once again as the cake was being cut and the couple shared their first dance as husband and wife.

“Why can’t I have that? Look at the way they’re staring into each other’s eyes… I want someone to love me like that.” You sighed, chin resting on your arm that was draped over the back of your chair. “No one has ever looked at me that way. No one has ever wanted me that way.” You cast your eyes down to the empty drink in your hand and sighed again.

“I’m going to get another drink.”

You stood, earning a huff from Sam as you set the glass on the table. His large hand wrapped around your wrist as you began to leave, stopping you in your tracks. You turned back to face him, shooting him a questioning look, eyebrows raised.

“I think you’ve had enough, y/n.” Sam’s voice was stern as his downturned eyes bore into your own. You scoffed at him. Anger seeped into your body, boiling in your veins. Who was he to cut you off?

“Excuse me?” You bit back at him, tone venomous as you tried to pull your wrist from his grasp to no avail. He wasn’t budging, his hand like a vice around your wrist.

Still holding onto you he rose out of his seat coming face to face with you. “God, how blind are you?!” His voice was hushed so as to not draw attention, but his tone was cutting, teeth clenched. You stared at him, eyes wide, confused and not daring to speak. You had never seen Sam so angry before, and especially not so quickly.

“You don’t see it, do you? Of course you don’t, you’re so self-absorbed in your own sorrow to even notice.” His hand finally let go of your wrist at his last word slicing through the air. You stood there shocked and shaking from anger.

“What the hell are you-“

“Forget it, y/n.” Sam shook his head before he stormed off towards the exit of the reception hall. You stood there for just a moment as he walked by before you turned on your heel and stormed after him. Thankfully no one noticed the interaction between the two of you as they were all watching the happy couple dance.

Sam exited the hall through a small door that led out into the foyer of the building with you hot on his heels. The room was dark, only being lit from the moon and lightning flashes as a thunderstorm rolled in. “Go away, y/n. Leave me alone.” He spat as he continued to walk towards the exit of the building, crossing the room quickly due to the stride of his long legs.

“No! What the hell are you talking about?! Why are you so angry?” You practically yelled and he stopped in his tracks, one hand resting on each of the giant double doors that lead outside. He shook his head and gave a cold, mirthless laugh as a flash of lightning cracked across the sky, illuminating the mostly empty room for a short, fleeting moment.

“That’s exactly it! Don’t you get it? You don’t even realize!” He pushed away from the door, turning back to walk towards you.

“Realize what, Sam?!”

“What the hell does a man have to do to be loved by you?!” He stopped in front of you, his face less than a foot from your own, breaths coming out heavy and uneven. His tone was angry and frantic, but his face was sad and pleading. Desperate, wanting. Begging.

“Tell me! Enlighten me, please! What do I have to do for you to love me back?!” You felt your entire body turn cold and rigid as Sam confessed his love to you, a small gasp hung in the back of your throat.

“You always come to me crying. Angry. Longing… And it kills me everytime! I hate seeing you cry. I hate knowing that when we hang up you cry yourself to sleep because I know you hate sleeping alone. I am in agony over you, constantly. So what do I have to do?” His voice was as pleading as his eyes this time. All of him begging for you to see him. To love him. To love him the way he loved you. You began to feel your throat and chest tighten as tears pricked your eyes.

“What more do I need to do to show you that you are loved? That I love you?! That I have always loved you? You want someone to look at you like that? I do. I have always been right. here.” He punctuated the last two words with anger and sorrow causing you to blink as they flew from his mouth.

“Sam, I- I never-“ You began to speak, but Sam cut you off.

“You never what? Noticed?” He spat, causing you to recoil slightly and take a step back as you nodded your head.

“You never noticed because you’re too busy watching happy couples and feeling sorry for yourself! Maybe if you looked at me, you would’ve noticed I’ve been looking at you. Waiting for you.” You stood still letting what he said sink in. He was right. You had been so self-absorbed that you didn’t realize Sam had been there all along.

Every bad date, every phone call, all the times you cried to him and he would suggest there was someone out there who loved you, that your time for love was maybe around the corner. While you had been waiting for love, he had been waiting for you. Waiting for you to notice him. To love him.

Tears uncontrollably rolled down your cheeks as you stood there in silence, staring at one another while lightning illuminated the room more frequently, the storm approaching faster. Sam instantly softened at the sight of tears littering your face, beginning to smear your makeup.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. Please don’t cry, Angel.” He sighed, raising his hands up to your cheeks to pat away the tears as they continued to fall, not wanting to ruin your makeup any further.

“No, Sam, you’re right. I’ve only been thinking of myself. All I ever do is talk about my feelings and what’s wrong with me and my love life. Not only have I been a terrible friend, but I’ve also been missing what's right in front of me.” You brought your hand to lay over his, leaning your face into his touch and closing your eyes. “I’m so sorry, Sam. I truly don’t deserve you in any way.”

“Hey, don’t do that. Look at me, Angel.” He lifted his hand from your face to skirt his fingers down your cheek to the underside of your jaw and finally stopped under your chin, angling your face up to his. His other hand dropped to your hip, resting lightly. Your eyes fluttered open instantly being met with his milk chocolate irises, a smile growing on his face.

“Hi.” He breathed out as his hand under your chin fell to rest on your other hip, holding you close to him.

“Hey.” It came out as a broken whisper, barely audible, even to your own ears.

“I’m going to kiss you now. Okay?” His breath fanned across your face while he spoke, and you nodded your head giving him permission. His right hand snaked up from your waist to cradle the back of your neck as he leaned in closer, sending chills across your body. His lips were soft and gentle against your own, and you found yourself melting into him. The kiss only lasted a few moments before he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours and sighing, eyes still shut. You felt as though you were frozen in time, stuck like this for an eternity, overtaken by his presence. His intoxicating, woodsy smell mixed with a hint of cologne, the way his hands felt on you, how beautiful he was with his eyes closed, and content.

“Sam?”

His eyes met yours at the mention of his name being whispered into the air.

“Yeah?” He whispered back, eyes flicking between yours trying to gauge your reaction. Your hand found purchase on his cheek, cupping the left side of his face.

“Kiss me again?”

“Anything for you, Angel.” A smile stretched across his face before he leaned in once again to kiss you. His lips met yours, gliding against your own with a feeling of something deeper behind this kiss than the first. It was more passionate, hungry even. His tongue swept across your bottom lip eliciting a sigh from you which Sam swallowed down as he took the opportunity to let his tongue roam the inside of your mouth, trailing along the roof. Your brain finally catching up, your tongue met his. Sam’s fingers dug into your waist at the feeling of your tongues dancing against one another, and pulled you impossibly closer.

He pulled away again, this time bringing his lips to your ear. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to kiss you. What do you say we get out of here?” His breathing was labored and heavy against your skin sending tingles throughout your body.

“I’d like that very much.” You beamed, Sam taking your hand in his and leading you out into the stormy night where rain was pouring from the heavens, effectively soaking you both from head to toe. Without a care for the rain falling from the sky, Sam stopped abruptly using his grasp on your hand to pull you into him, kissing you for a third time that night, his lips spreading into a smile mid-kiss.

“Sam, what’re you doing? We’re going to get soaked out here.” You smiled into the kiss as well, a giggle bubbling past your lips.

“Just wanted to kiss you in the rain is all.” He pushed the strands of damp hair out of your face with both of his large hands, peppering it with kisses as he did so causing you to erupt into a fit of laughter.

“Think we could do this in your car? I kinda have to return this dress.” You laughed as you felt a shiver begin at the top of your skull and travel down your spine, making your whole body shake. Sam shrugged his blazer off and draped it around your shoulders, smiling at you sweetly, although it didn’t do much as it was already wet and cold from the weather. He placed a quick kiss to the tip of your nose before intertwining his fingers with your own and dragging you off towards his car.

“Anything for you, Angel.”

——————————

add yourself to my taglist!

#sam kiszka x reader #sam kiszka fic #sam kiszka fanfiction #sam kiszka fluff #gvf #sam gvf #sam kiskza #to be loved by you

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berry-messy-scribbles · 1 year

Text

Lend me a helping hand

Pairing: Jesse Pinkman x GN!Reader

Summary: You and Jesse Pinkman attend the same class back in high school days. One day both of you become study buddies after Walt decides to pair you up to help him with chemistry. Little does he know that you two won’t pay much attention to textbooks, as a mutual crush begins to unfold.

Words: 3,131

Tags: SFW; gender-neutral reader; general fluff that turns a little angsty in the process but don’t worry it ends on a light note; reader and Jesse are younger due to this being set in his high school times.

Warnings/triggers: curse words; mentions of smoking cigarettes and drug use.

A/N: Reader’s implied favourite subject is chemistry so the plot can include Jesse’s trouble with White’s class and having him assign you as Jesse’s tutor.

“ This is my first piece ever writing Jesse so I apologise in advance if it seems out of character but we can all agree that our boy deserves more loving.” - Mod Berry

Ever since childhood, your eyes were set on an academic pursuit and it certainly didn’t change in your high school years. But the effort wasn’t just for any other subject than your beloved chemistry, which took up so much of your free time. Staying up all night to pass Mr White’s exams with flying colours wasn’t something you were unfamiliar with. All those sticky notes and underlines made with fancy markers in vivid colours present in your textbook were a plain sign, that you struck to be one of the smartest if not the smartest in class. One of your classmates specifically caught your eye – no other than the troublemaker by the name of Jesse Pinkman.

After all, you've been taking the same class for over a year now so you observed all sorts of shenanigans unravel. He’s mostly known as that one kid that always has some snarky comments ready and is an absolute menace to the teacher. At first, it would be making paper planes to throw at Mr White. Gradually it evolved to him drawing caricatures of the old bald man on the whiteboard with captions such as “Sit on an Erlenmeyer flask dick”. The doodle obviously showed in detail a figure of him sitting on the described object. It led to many visits to the principal’s office. Even after all this time you barely have spoken to each other, maybe besides the occasional “Can I borrow a pen” moments.

It seems as no surprise that when this certain student known for not caring about anything really, had you assigned as his study buddy. That is why one day after class Mr White decided to pair you up as study partners.

“Y/N you surely know of Pinkman. The one that barely makes any effort? I told myself if I can’t get through to him with my lectures that maybe someone his age would. I am sure that he could use a positive influence like you.”

He then murmurs to himself while looking outside the classroom “Maybe then he’ll make something out of himself.”

You never understood why he was so hard on Jesse, sure he wasn’t an easy student but immediately shutting him down as a hopeless case seemed too harsh for you. Either way, you decided to help him.

“Don’t worry sir. I am sure Jesse and I will get along just fine.”

But fine was the last word you would use to describe this situation, in fact, it was one of those times when you weren’t sure how to react. On one hand, you two barely spoken to each other. On the other hand, you were eager to chat about your favourite subject. But what other thing were you supposed to talk about really? Your only similarities ended in attending the same class and that fact certainly didn’t make it any easier. However the next day you gathered as much confidence as you could when you approached him after class.

‘‘Hi, Jesse. I don’t mean to bother you but -”

You are then interrupted midsentence by Jesse.

“Uh Hi Y/N right? Look I know what this buzzkill Mr White told you but you don’t need to do all that teaching me crap. ”

“Okay wait wait, don’t be silly now. It’s not a problem for me at all. In fact, I’m glad I can finally ramble to somebody about chemistry, haha and maybe just maybe I’ll be able to change your mind about it” you respond with a smile.

That smile certainly caught Jesse off guard by how pretty it looked on your face. He felt strange? Were you doing this out of pity for him or were you seriously this kind? He wasn’t sure but decided to continue the conversation playfully.

“Pff I’d like to see you try. Anyways Mx teacher when and where are we going to have our first study session?”

“Already with formal titles, I see. Hmm since it’s a nice day outside so would you like to have our first study session in the library? I promise I won’t make it as boring as it sounds.”

“Geez, I don’t know. Do you seriously see me as the kind of guy who regularly goes to libraries? You flatter me Y/N but I hate to break it to you the librarian is probably going to have a heart attack when she sees me.”

“Come on now I don’t think there is a “kind of person” - it is for everyone. Whether you want to admit it or not the library lady will see you just as another plain guy. Or are you scared of being called a nerd huh? you teased him.

“Whatever. So are we going or what?”

That’s how your weekly chemistry study sessions started out. In the beginning, it would be at Albuquerque’s public library, where you two spent time together. It is worth mentioning that the first time you were there the old librarian lady Judith made an embarrassing remark at the time:

“Y/N dearie it is so nice to see you again but who could that young man be? Oh are you two perhaps...”

“Study buddies. We’re study buddies! Yup, nothing more than that haha.” you quickly responded as you didn’t want to make Jesse feel uncomfortable. Hoping that he didn’t catch your face flush bright red for a moment there, you headed to the quiet area with a spare desk and quickly took out your books.

Those study sessions over time evolved into more casual hangouts such as going to a park, café and so on. Sometimes they would also include obligatory smoke breaks or buying sweet treats for later. There was this one time when you both went out to grab some doughnuts beforehand and Jesse had to get himself the popular pink glazed doughnuts, which resulted in one of your puns:

“Ah, so your last name obliges you to buy them? Huh, Pinkman? Get it?”

“All that time spent buried in the books and it is the only pun you could come up with? Shame on you Y/N shame. To think an egghead like you would get more creative.”

“Oh shut up we’ll see how creative you’re gonna be when we will be solving tasks from the textbooks and workbooks I have.”

Something you began to look forward to during your week was seeing Jesse. He seemed as if he could listen to you for hours and hours. That is why you began to feel comfortable around him - like you could finally be yourself around somebody else. It can be said that he was your best hypeman by saying things such as “Yeah Science bitch!” or “Right on!” even when you explained the most mundane of things. There was this one time when you let yourself go and started ranting about your hobbies such as writing and reading books ( or whatever you like to do in your free time, he’ll be so supportive anyways ) so when you finally realised you were getting distracted you quickly added the following:

“Oh sorry I’m just used to people not caring about my special interests or straight up finding it annoying.”

“Are you kidding? Fuck them. I’d like to get to know you more, other than the fact that you are a huge nerd. Also, I think you’d make a great teacher or something because hey you’ve managed to make me pay attention."

That response definitely warmed up your heart.

On the surface, both of you seemed like total solar opposites but maybe that’s why you two connected so well. As you often put it in your mind “positively charged objects attract negatively charged objects”. Jesse would probably groan at the thought that you had to compare your friendship to some nerdy topic. During that time, you noticed that there was so much more to Jesse than people thought. For instance, his notebook had pages that were entirely covered in drawings of figures done in a comic book art style, some of which were superheroes while the others were villains. Initially, Jesse was nervous that you found them but then all that doubt disappeared when he was smothered in positive feedback from you. You eagerly asked about their names, superpowers and origin stories and then proceeded to listen to his explanations with joy in your eyes. That alone made Jesse feel so weak around you - you were actually interested in spending time with him and in what he wanted to say ( and by god we all know how much he needs that in his life ).

Up to this point, you didn’t realise that you started to develop feelings towards Jesse, but when he didn’t show up at your usual meeting spot you immediately started to worry. It’s not as if Jesse wouldn’t let you know if something bad happened, because he had felt sick before. The significant difference is that he always called or texted when he couldn’t make it. This time however it was total silence. At first, you tried calling him, then you moved on to texting multiple messages saying “Are you alright? Did something happen?” followed by “I hope everything is okay Jesse text me whenever you can”. You weren’t sure if you were overreacting a bit, but you didn’t care – the most important thing was his well-being. Time passed and it has been a week since your last message and there was no sign of him at school either. Now you were certain that something felt off… Maybe that’s why you decided to take matters into your own hands when you visited the Pinkmans’ residence. You were more than thankful, that you remembered where it was located since Jesse never really invited you over. The only time when you two were near his house he’d quickly brush it off as if he didn’t want to attract your attention to it. When you arrived and knocked on the door a short blonde woman opened. She was clearly confused by your presence.

“Can I help you with something? I don’t believe we have met before?”

"Oh hi, you must be Jesse’s mother. My name is Y/N nice to meet you, I am Jesse’s friend.”

It was strange to call him that since you weren’t sure if Jesse considered you his friend, but you certainly considered him to be yours. A small shocked expression appeared on her face, however before she could say anything you continued:

You didn’t quite understand her passive-aggressive response. At the same time, she was glad that you thought about her son but also said something about being an “unusual” friend of his. What did she mean by that? Was she trying to insult you or her own son? You thought that to yourself but decided to shrug it off as there were more important things right now.

“Listen Mrs Pinkman I am so sorry to bother you but Jesse hasn’t been responding to my messages for the past week and he also wasn’t at school so I wanted to make sure that he’s okay.”

“Hmm I have to say you don’t seem like Jesse’s usual kind of “friend”, but it’s nice that you worried about him. Pleasure to meet you too.”

“Listen Jesse has been lately um I am not sure how to put it...”

The older woman seemed at loss for words. To your surprise at that moment a taller older man came up behind Mrs Pinkman, which you suspected probably was Jesse’s father.

“Is there a problem here dear?” and then Mrs Pinkman had to assure him there was none but also had to explain why you were here in the first place.

“Oh, you are here for Jesse huh? Well then colour me surprised, to say the least. About our son - you’ll understand what my wife wanted to tell you in a moment. How about I show you his room, then you can go ask him yourself.”

The tension in that conversation caught you off-guard. For some reason, both of them seemed angry inside but they covered it in their nice suburban behaviour. Before you could even properly react to that exchange of words they both walked into their house, gesturing you to follow them.

They stopped at the door, which you could only assume belonged to Jesse’s room. His father then proceeded to knock on the door while saying “Jesse you have a visitor.” and then both left you alone in awkward silence while standing outside his room.

A couple of minutes passed and then you heard a loud thud and steps of someone approaching the door. Then the door swung right open followed by:

“Uh. I didn’t want you to see me like this Y/N.” Jesse sighed.

The room looked as if a tornado came through - all his belongings scattered on the bedroom floor. From his usual baggy clothes, beanies and a used bong to boxes of frozen pizza with few slices left untouched. The air in the room was heavy and the atmosphere was even heavier when you noticed Jesse nervously looking at you in the doorframe.

You have never seen Jesse in that state before. His usual entrancing blue eyes were all red. Not only that but it appeared that even weighty eyebags began to show on his face. Jesse anxiously held his arm around you. He was so afraid that sooner or later you would witness him like this. He expected the worst to come from your mouth and was preparing himself for the harsh reality of that situation to unfold, but then he heard a quiet sob coming from you.

“I was so worried that something bad happened to you. I am so glad that you are okay you asshole!” you immediately hugged Jesse.

“But um Jesse what happened? Is there something that worried you so much, which lead to this state?” you gestured at the room and him.

Jesse was knocked-out at that moment. Out of all the reactions he suspected he would get from you a warm embrace wasn’t on that list.

“Next time check your goddamn phone you hear me? A simple “I am alive” would be great you know?” you quickly added as you let go of that hug.

“I don’t want to come off as nosy or anything but just so you know you can always talk to me. I’ll make sure to be of help to you.” you added.

Jesse was absolutely stunned at that moment. Nobody ever cared about him that much and you didn’t even judge him? You didn’t think of him less after witnessing him at his worst? After all of that, you still wanted to know what was wrong? What exactly was happening? He finally responded:

“Heh I don’t know what to say Y/N. Look for the past few days I haven’t been feeling very well. You probably met my parents - we don’t exactly get along.” before he could finish that sentence he made sure to close the door so they wouldn’t hear what he says.

“So about a week ago they found my secret stash and went fucking crazy. It wasn’t only about that oh no no no. Mrs and Mr Perfect had to bring up my shitty grades and how I will never amount to anything. Parents of the year huh? After that, the only thing I knew would make me feel good is smoke some weed and spend time alone. My buddies suggested meeting up but I wasn't feeling like it. I just felt like a burden to everyone I have ever met."

"God and the fact that this dickhead White told my parents I was a lost cause was just a cherry on top of that shitshow." he added with frustration building inside him.

Seeing Jesse in that vulnerable position made you even more motivated to comfort him. You carefully started:

"First of all you are certainly not a burden, how could you even think that for a moment? Look even if your parents are acting like assholes towards you they don't define your worth. "

"I am so sorry that your parents and White told you those awful words but if you asked me I think you are pretty great. Sure you aren't the best at certain things but you are getting better each and every single day. If it makes any real difference to you I'm rooting for you, Jesse."

"And hey just a friendly suggestion when you do succeed you can rub it in their face you know? That certainly is something to look forward to right?"

That made Jesse chuckle a bit.

"Thanks, Y/N. I am very glad that you came here."

"No problem at all. Say do you need any help with cleaning your room? And before you say you don't want to make me do your chores I don't mind and also I insist."

Even if he said no you would help him so after that you and Jesse got up to start cleaning his room and of course had some more heart-to-heart conversations while doing so. It brought you two closer than ever and you both realized that your feelings were more than friendship.

Since that day some time passed and your first study sessions came faster than expected. Jesse was so happy that he could finally spend more time with you and so were you. You took your usual path to the library and sat in an empty desk. This time you decided to start with organic chemistry, in particular, a topic revolving around saccharides. Before you could explain anything Jesse asked you:

"So today we are doing what? Saccharides? What a mouthful. Why do eggheads always come up with the most idiotic names instead of calling it oh I don't know... something anyone can say outloud?"

"Pff you can always just call them sugars you know. It is still a correct nomenclature so feel free to use that one."

"Yeah but I would rather call you sugar." he responded without a second thought.

"Wait what did you say?" you felt blood rush to your face.

Silence fell between you two. Expression or sheer shock on both of your faces. Jesse couldn't believe he said that out loud. The silence was then broken by him coughing and finally adding:

"Y/N I didn't mean to make any of this awkward I just... I just think that you are sweet."

"Well if that makes any difference I think you are cute too Pinkman." you responded and softly placed a kiss on his lips.

Truth be told that day you didn't do any of the material you had planned in advance. The only chemistry that was on your mind was between you and Jesse.

#breaking bad x reader #jesse pinkman x reader #jesse pinkman fanfiction #jesse pinkman fanfic #breaking bad fanfiction #breaking bad fanfic

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songofwizardry · 1 year

Text

it’s strike evening! tomorrow teachers in england and wales start on a series of discontinuous strike days, over teacher pay and funding.

i have had this long post of anecodates the state of state education right now sitting in my drafts for months. but i think it’s a good time to share it. there are no graphs or national statistics—you can get those from the neu, and if you’re reading this you probably know them already. but i think it’s worth sharing the personal side of why we’re striking as well. this is very disconnected, and rambly, and frustrated, but here goes:

i’m a physics graduate. i trained to teach at one of the largest ITT providers in the country a few years ago. there were about 25-30 physics trainees in this batch

at least ten have already left the profession, or left the country to teach elsewhere. this is not including people who left state education to teach in independent schools, or people who dropped out during the training year

i trot this statistic out a lot, because it’s shocking—this year, we have recruited one physics teacher for every eight state schools in england. that’s just trainees recruited. several of them will drop out during the training. even more will leave during their induction period (25% of new teachers leave within two years). it gets worse every year

over the last two years, i have watched my school (a comprehensive secondary) try to replace, or find long-term supply, for several staff—maths teachers, science teachers, MFL teachers, technicians, pastoral staff, etc. pretty much every time, it’s taken at least 3 months to find a long-term replacement. the ‘revolving door of supply staff’ is very true, and supply staff are also hard to find

nationally, schools are ridiculously tight on money. this hits the poorest areas and kids worse—we push up every class to 32 students because that means more money for the school, we turn what were previously free trips into paid ones because schools can’t afford to cover the costs, we turn off the heating at 4pm, we cut TAs and extra-curriculars and sports and equipment budgets. this is a funding crisis as well as a staff pay crisis. a non-funded pay rise is useless

these are not hypotheticals btw—they have happened and are happening in my school and in schools near me. we are cutting trips, clubs, TAs, mentoring support, you name it. if it can be cut it will be.

the easiest way to cut costs is by cutting down on staff. so all our timetables are as full as it is legally possible to be. there is no breathing room. one class can be shared by multiple staff to make this timetable mess work. staff are stretched to their limit, and if someone falls sick long term, there’s no staff free to cover and – see above – we cannot recruit! so we return to a revolving door of supply staff (whom we also can’t get)

the cuts to additional support affect kids with SEND needs, emotional needs, kids who are having a hard time, etc the most. i cannot tell you the number of kids i have who need a TA or a mentor and don’t get one, need counselling, need a reader, need a scribe, need 1-to-1 EAL support, etc..... it goes on

and at the same time social services across the board have been slashed after years of tory austerity. camhs is a mess, the nhs has no money, youth services are gone, libraries and community centres are shut—we are trying to fill a gaping hole, with no goddamn money

and on the note of staff pay—support staff especially don’t get paid enough, but across the board, I’m hearing of colleagues using food banks, not being able to afford heating or feeding themselves or children, struggling to make rent, etc. especially for early career teachers, it’s not enough. I know of plenty of colleagues who took on additional responsibility way earlier than they wanted or were ready for, because it means extra pay, and the standard salary isn’t enough to live on.

couple that with the fact that in a subject like maths or science, there are plenty of entry-level jobs that pay much better, and it’s no surprise people aren’t coming into the profession.

i care deeply for my students. i want the best for them. they deserve teachers who are not overworked, exhausted, and bitter. they deserve subject specialists, not four months of rotating supply teaching their GCSE chemistry class. they deserve staff who feel valued, and thus stick around long enough that they can build relationships with them. they deserve enough lab equipment, textbooks, glue sticks. they deserve extra curriculars and trips they don’t have to pay for, that aren’t funded out of whatever I can spare from my own tight budget that month. they deserve dedicated TA support where they need it, again, with TAs who are valued and have time to build connections with them and support them.

and i am also tired, and i care deeply for my colleagues. we all deserve better.

so i am striking tomorrow, for my students, and my colleagues, and myself, because i deeply love this profession and it deserves so much better than a government that clearly doesn’t value educators or education. if you can, join us on the picket line at your local school, or at a march! there’s a strike map in the notes.

#teachers strike 2023 #teachers strike #neu #text post #my post #teaching #i am not very sorry for how long and mostly a ramble this is #and for how much it's just personal anecdotes #bc i think it needs to be said!#anyway we need to strike #so i will see you all out there tomorrow

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iamthejinyouarethejin · 2 years

Text

WARNINGS: Flirting, mentions of sexual interaction, (16+))

FT/video-call

I JUST WANT TO CLARIFY, I AM IN NO WAY TRYING TO SEXUALIZE OR PORTRAY ANY IDOL IN ANY WAY. I have a lot of respect for Jimin, he’s such a talented young man, (I say that as if he’s older than me 🤪) and a really great guy. This is simply from my wild✨imagination✨. THANKS FOR READING LUVVS! 💖💖💖💖

“I wish I could touch you.”

“Really, Jimin?” you rolled your eyes. ”Is that all you think about?”

“No baby, not like that!” he grinned. “I just want to feel you.”

Your face softened as he traced the image of your face, you could almost feel his finger caressing your lips.

“I would also like to be inside of you.”

“SHUT UP, Jimin.” He laughed, rubbing his arms.

“Never.”

You paid close attention to his eyes. They were beautiful, of course, but there was a fatigued look that he carried, making you wonder if he’d eaten or slept this week.

“Jimin-” His eyes perked up and he brightened his fading smile. “Are you okay, baby?” He tilted his head in alleged confusion, raising a brow.

“Is there a reason for you to worry, chubs?”

“I- No. You look…”

How could I say this without hurting him… you thought.

He looked sick. Sicker than sick. Like he hadn’t eaten, like he hadn’t slept, like he was ready to collapse on a bed and stay there for twelve years.

“-You look like you need me.” You playfully smirked.

“Maybe I do. I miss the crazy things we did, baby.”

Your mind instantly flashed back to the nights the two of you explored each other. His warm beige skin rubbing against your chocolate arms, tanned after your trip to Jeju Island. His tongue did all kinds of things to you, and your hands did all kinds of things to him-

“Y/N?”

“Yeah-‘’

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” he giggled. You changed the subject.

“What do you wanna do when you get back?”

“Well, you’ll be the birthday girl. It’s up to you…”

You stand, reaching for your water bottle, exposing your thick, bare legs.

“-sexy…”

You sit as quickly as you can, blushing, as he chuckled huskily.

“You act as if I haven’t seen-‘’ he paused, eyes dazed.

“-And touched every part of you.”

More flashbacks. Your cheeks were bright red now, more like a light burgundy, but still.

“Don’t be shy babygirl.” His voice was deeper now, almost in a growl. He didn’t sound like your baby mochi, he sounded like Park Jimin, Master Seducer. You thought about the time he talked your panties off… on camera. Your shirt, your bra… You weren’t shy then. You loved seeing him squirm in discomfort, he loved it too, but he hated the fact that he couldn’t touch you. You wanted to touch him, you wanted to-

“Y/N…”

“Huh?”

“Pabo- I keep losing you.” His tired look was back.

“Sorry… I’m here baby.” You said. His eyes were drifting now. He loved his brown skin girl, more than anything and anyone.

“I still wonder how I got you to fall in love with me.” he smiled, leaning in closer to the camera.

“You took me to an aquarium and bought me a bunch of plushies and lollipops.”

“And a t-shirt.” He added.

“And a t-shirt.” you reply. “You took me to get desert, too.”

“We had special desert that night.”

“Riiight…”

“That’s what we’re gonna do.” he smiled. “We’re gonna go to Centennial Park, the Coca-Cola Factory… Maybe use some electric scooters, then I’ll take you to the Georgia Aquarium. I know you love it there.” He continued rambling, but you paid more attention to his voice. His English had advanced so profoundly, thanks to Namjoon, of course, and a class he’d been taking. The two of you had originally thought that language would have been a barrier, but he put in extra effort to advance his English, and you did the same with your Korean.

“사랑해 박지민.”

I love you Park Jimin. He looked startled at your sudden switch. “나도 사랑해.”

I love you too.

“Now…” he smiled. “Back to the birthday plans. After our outing, I want to treat you to something special.”

You raised a brow.

“Special?”

“I want to ruin you Y/N.” he seriously. “I want to deflour every last ounce of innocence you have left. I want to kiss you harder than I ever have before. I want to make you feel pleasure like you never have.”

“Jimin, I-” you could feel your core twisting and your breasts tightening.

“That will be my biggest gift to you, beautiful. I want you to relax and let me do all the work. I want you to let me take care of everything. I’ll take all your worries away, baby. I’ll make you happier than you’ve ever been... Because I am going to make love to you like I never have.”

“Gosh, Chim- You’re making me want you even more.” You tried to laugh. Your hands were twitching. You had to touch him. You were deprived of his touch. His skin. His warmth.

“Baby…” he caressed the camera, giving you goosebumps all over. “I love you more than you’ll ever know, Y/N-ahhh.”

“I love you too baby…”

“I promise… We’ll do it on your birthday.”

#Bts ff #bts fanfic #bts AMBW #bts x poc #bts army #jimin x reader #jimin x poc #Blackgirlmagic

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house-of-slayterr · 1 year

Text

Family Feud:

Tag: @oceansrose2002 @queer-and-utter-chaos @myers-meadow-selfship @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better

CW: Homophobia (because Hoyt is the worst)

Blinky’s POV:

I had woken up before Macy, three hours before Macy to be exact. I was successfully able to sneak out of her grasp and get over to my back pack. I wasn’t sure why I packed it, the little sketch book Manon had given me. It wasn’t a necessity by any stretch of the means, but in my anger and distress I had grabbed it. I spotted a pencil on Macy’s dresser and sat back down at the edge of the bed.

That had been three hours ago. She didn’t move a single inch in her sleep. Which was a far cry from her when she was awake. To people who didn’t know her, it might not seem like she ever moved. But her eyes, her dark, mysterious eyes were always in motion. Never focused on one thing. I imagined hear ears were doing quite the same task. Always alert, always ready to run.

And her hands, if you listened close enough you could hear the skin creaking against her bones. Always tense, always firing. But right now, she was truly at rest. Not furrow in her brow, no smirk on her lips and no pained look in her eyes. Just total tranquility. And I couldn’t bring myself to tear my eyes away. She looked a little awkward on the small bed, and I imagined she wouldn’t fare much better in mine. I would have to build her a better one some day. But it did nothing to take away from her charm, just further high lighting her impressive stature. She was the perfect subject.

“You know it’s rude to stare?” I heard her groggy voice.

I couldn’t hold back my smile for even a single millisecond. She was awake! As much as I loved her asleep, I was partial to her waking hours. She went to push herself up on her elbows, but I stopped her.

“Wait, five more minutes!” I said.

She raised a brow at me, but laid back down. Moving her eyes to try to get a glimpse at what I was doing.

“Are you drawing me Bumble Bee?” She asked.

A blush rushed my cheeks, as I tried to not make eye contact with her. All I could do was nod. She relaxed back fully, allowing me to finish.

“Dwi wedi gorffen.”

“English Blink” she laughed.

“I said I’m done, you can get up now.”

“Oh I can, can I?”

“You know what I meant.” I huffed.

“Can I see it?”

I slammed the journal shut, more forcefully than I’d meant to.

“I wanna add some colour to it when I get back home. Maybe I could mail it to you, or just give it to you the next time we see each other.” I rambled.

I don’t know why I was nervous. There was no reason to be nervous right now. So why did her eyes feel like daggers on my skin? Why was my chest tightening. What was happening. She quickly crawled across the bed to me.

“No no no, Blink, hey look at me.” She said frantically.

I met her eyes, but they felt painful to look into.

“You don’t have to look at my eyes, just somewhere on me ok?”

I nodded, focussing my gaze on her shoulder, the soft slope where it became her neck. I could still see her lips in my peripheral, but her eyes are out of sight.

“Deep breath, ok?”

“Ok.”

I started to calm down after a minuet, and she dared to move a little closer.

“You ok?”

“I think so. I don’t know what happened.”

“You we’re about to have a meltdown, I- I asked Tommy about it cause he gets those sometimes. He told me how to help you.”

“Oh.”

“Blinky, I know it may seem like a lot right now, but I’m gonna need you to talk a little bit more ok?”

“Ok.”

I heard her let out a sigh.

“Was this about last night?”

“Why would it be about last night?”

“Ok, was it the drawing?” She fished.

“I, I don’t think so. I’m just- it was- ugh.” I stuttered out.

She reached out to grab my hand.

“Can you feel my hand right now?”

“Yes-“ I said more coldly than I’d meant to.

“Good, what does it feel like?”

“Your hand?”

“Yes, Blinky, humour me…”

“Umm, it’s rough, because you don’t use lotion enough. But the backs of your hands are softer closer to your wrists. I like you’re wrists.” I said.

“That’s good Darlin’, what else do you like?”

“I like your hair, it’s really long and soft, and fun to play with. My fingers don’t get stuck in it like they do in mine. And I like your voice, especially when you’re tired and it gets all gravely. And I like you.”

“I like you too Blinky. Feeling better?”

“I think so.” I offered her a half smile.

“I think I’m just scared.” I confessed.

“Of what? Me?”

“Oh Lucifer no! I could never be scared of you prydferth, you make me feel safe, I promise. It’s just, I don’t know, there’s a lot going on right now, and there’s a lot of things I don’t understand and that scares me. I have so many people to care about now, and I think my hearts to small to handle that. It didn’t grow big like the rest of me.”

“Blinky there’s nothing wrong with your heart, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with your height. Am I one of those people?”

“I’m afraid you take up the most room. Up here too.”

I pointed to my head. Macy placed a gentle kiss on the spot I’d pointed to, and I swear my heart stopped right there. This was exactly the problem.

“You’re adorable you know that?” She asked, pulling me into her lap and leaning her chin on top of my head.

“I’m not trying to be.”

“I know, but you always are. It’s yer super powe’r”

He accent was much thicker in the morning. Slurring more words than usual. Not trying so hard to “speak proper”, whatever that meant. It made no difference to me, I could understand her all the same.

“You wanted to talk about something.”

“What?” She mumbled into my neck.

“You had that look before you fell asleep. I couldn’t sleep cause I kept worrying you would break up with me in the morning.”

Her entire body tense, and she held me tighter. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“Blinky, why on gods Green Earth would you think I’d do somethin’ like that? You think I’m some cowboy cassnaova type, sleeping with girls then throwin’ ‘em on their asses in the mornin?”

I didn’t mean to offend her. It was stupid of me to say that out loud.

“Blinky, I really like you ok? Nothing my family can say will change that.”

I hummed.

“What did you want to ask me?”

She sighed.

“Yesterday, when you threatened Hoyt and I asked you about it, you said you were dead serious. And I believe you, but- Blinky I’m worried about you. Are, is your family hurting you, or threatening you in some way? Is that why you came here?”

I pulled out of her grasp, turning to look at her.

“What?”

“Blinky I’m not dumb, I saw the blood on your clothes, black doesn’t hide everything. I would know. You talked about your mom dying, and you’ve been more quick to anger than usual. And I saw that look in your eyes when you looked at Hoyt yesterday. There’s only two things I can think of-“

“And would the other option be that bad?” I said coldly.

This was going to be it, the moment where six months of happiness came crashing down. Macy would leave and I’d be alone again. But then it was easier, because nobody knew about her. I’d have no explaining to do.

“It’s a hell of a lot better than the first.” She said softly.

“What?” I asked confused.

“Blinky, I just want what’s best for you. So then, are you going to be ok?”

“Are you going to leave me? Report my family?”

“I would never.”

“Then I think I’ll be perfect. I’m sorry I underestimated your love for me earlier. That wasn’t fair, that was my problem”

“Blinky, you have to understand that not everything is your problem. You don’t have to fix everything, and you don’t have to do it by yourself. You said it yourself, you were scared, I get it, I was scared to.”

I scrunched my brows in confusion.

“God, what are the odds of this happening?” Macy laughed.

Pushing away any tears she was about to shed.

“Ok confused.” I said.

She just started laughing more, like how Baby did when she was in a good mood.

“And I was so worried about you finding out.”

“Finding out what?”

She pulled me closer to her, pulling me into a kiss. Of course I kissed back, I couldn’t help it. She deserved it after I hurt her feeling earlier, and I guess this was her repayment for hurting mine. She pulled away, nuzzling her head into my neck. She lowly growled something into my ear.

“I’m a cannibal Darlin’ I eat people.”

It sent a shiver down my spine. But I didn’t mind it, it was exciting. She was right, what are the odds? She kissed the side of my neck.

“Does that bother you?”

“No.”

She pulled back to look into my eyes, dropping the scene and searching for genuine consent.

“You sure about that love?”

“Not unless you’re going to eat me.”

“Not unless you asked me to.” She said, playfully biting my neck.

I rolled my eyes, allowing her to nibble at my skin for a minuet. I closed my eyes leaning into her touch. She was addicting, an addiction I didn’t want to fight. We suddenly heard a knock on the door and pulled apart. But no voice came, how odd. Macy grumbled under her breath. I raised a brow at her.

“That was Hoyts polite way of telling us breakfast was ready.” She sighed.

I squinted my eyes at her. It seemed like it was more than that with how quickly she jumped back. But I didn’t press her. We’d already had a conversation today I wasn’t planning on. Macy slowly got out of bed, she wasn’t nearly as graceful in the mornings. He movements being sluggish and tired. But it was cute. She grabbed a hoodie from her closet and tossed it to me.

“Still cold?” She asked.

“Pretty much always.” I shrugged.

You grew used to it. My body simply didn’t produce much heat, even in Texas.

“You’re insane” she muttered.

She switched into some cotton shorts, they looked more like old cut up sweatpants she made herself. And a tight black tank top. In one of the rare moments she had her hair up, she threw it into a messy bun. I sat there holding the hood just watching her. She chuckled onto her breath.

“Like what you see Blinky?” She attempted to tease me.

But how could I lie? Everything in from of me right now was perfection.

“Yes.” I said honestly.

This only made her laugh harder. She crawled back over to the bed.

“You just gonna sit there and watch me all day? Or are you going to get dressed so you’re not shivering later?” She asked, lifting my chin to make me look at her.

“Dressed…” I said slowly.

“Good girl.”

I blushed at the nickname, holding her hoodie tighter in my hands. As she pulled away I slowly lifted my arms.

“Hoodie.” I said smiling.

She laughed, rolling her eyes, but took the hoodie out of my hands and slowly slipped it on over my head. I moved up onto my knees so it could fall straight down and I wouldn’t have to tug at it.

“You’re lucky you’re adorable.”

“I know.” I smiled.

“Since we’re being lazy this morning, why don’t I carry you downstairs?” She asked playfully.

“You just want to give the boys and your mother something to stare at.” I said.

“Yeah.”

“Ok.” I smirked.

I was more than fine antagonising those people downstairs. I already decided I didn’t like them. Luda seemed redeemable, but the two other men made my blood boil, and I was sure it would only get worse. Thomas would be the only saving Grace to breakfast, other than Macy of course. But I wasn’t sure she alone could stop me from stabbing one of those idiots if they said something that set me off.

She was right, I had been more on edge because of my mother recently. and I couldn’t help but wonder the chaos I was missing out on at home. I’m sure Otis grew tired of her ability to use her mouth quickly. And Baby was much better on the psychological torture side of things. Probably making my mother question every action that got her there.

I stood up on the bed, making me as tall as my girlfriend. And she turned around, picking me up on her back. She called it “Blinky Backpack time” cause she often liked to carry me places even when I was perfectly fine to walk. Perhaps it was her way to feel closer to me, and I would be foolish to complain about that. It was something nice she wanted to do for me. She opened the door and marched down to the kitchen with a goofy smile on her face. I swooped around to give her a peck on the cheek as we went through the door way, just for good measure.

I looked up to see Hoyt already glaring at us. And Monty just looking confused. Maybe his room wasn’t as close to ours as the nasty old sheriff. But I could at least attempt to get on Luda’s good side.

“Good morning Miss Luda Mae” I greeted with a smile.

“Good morning child. Sleep well?” She asked, not bothering to look at me.

But that didn’t matter, a question was more than I was expecting. But she seemed really good at playing polite if she set her mind to it. Both of us could play this game. While Macy may not have had the best relationship with her mother, she did still have one. And Tommy loved his mother, I wasn’t going to jeopardise that for either of them.

“Mhhhm. You?”

“Just fine Sugar.” She said.

Maybe she was more of the a morning person. It probably didn’t help that I showed up out of nowhere yesterday. At least this morning she had enough time of know I would be joining them for breakfast. I wasn’t sure what she was cooking so I paid no mind to it. Macy pulled out my chair and let me climb off her back to sit. And she sat in the chair next to me. Hoyt was across the table, with Monty to his left. And I’m assuming Luda sat to his right, which meant Tommy would be across from me.

“Is Thomas coming up for breakfast Ma?” Macy asked her mother.

“I’m not sure if he’s comfortable with our guest.” Luda said.

I frowned. I would hope my presence here wasn’t causing Thomas to hide. He deserved to have breakfast with his family.

“I could always go eat in Macy’s room, or later if Tommy wants to come up and eat with his family.” I offered quickly.

“Blinky you’re staying in that chair. Let me go talk to him.”

I nodded. I knew it wasn’t intentionally, but she just fully left me to the wolves. Leaving me alone in a room with these three adults who were clearly weary of much worse of my existence.

“Blinky, would you be a dear and help me set the table?” She asked.

“Oh, umm sure. My family doesn’t really let me touch anything in the kitchen.” I said.

I heard Hoyt snicker, but decided to ignore it. If I could handle RJ’s constant side comments, I could get through breakfast. I followed where she pointed and gathered plates and silverware and cups. Of course taking each category on its own, being extra careful with my steps.

“Bet you’re pretty useless around the house Kid.” Hoyt said.

“In the kitchen, maybe. But I do have chores.” I said flatly.

“What’s, separating the whites from the colours.” He jeered.

I frowned, but bit my tongue. It would be a far cry to jump and assume his meaning. Sure he was a bully from what I’d observed yesterday, but he was also a pushover. It was clear Hoyt held more weight in his house than he did. But anyone with half a brain knew Luda was really in charge here. Which was why I was sucking up to her and not wasting my energy on these idiots.

“I actually focus on repairs. My sister does the laundry, she finds the repetitive nature of the the task calming.”

“Repairs?” Luda asked curiously.

“Umm, you know, that wobbly chair that everyone tries to avoid. An old hole in the wall, light won’t turn on. The basics.” I said.

“You can fix dry wall?” Monty asked.

“Did I not just say that? I did say that in English right?”

“You speak another language?”

“Yes Sheriff, some people have the space on their brains to comprehend more than one thing at a time.”

I was trying my best to be nice to him, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I hoped Macy would be back with Thomas soon to come rescue me. I was surprised when Monty just ignored his comment, at least attempting to have a semi normal conversation with me. He seemed like someone who just did what Hoyt said because he was scared of the the other man. I doubted any of his thoughts were fully his own.

“If I showed you a walk after breakfast, think you could fix it?” He asked.

I shrugged.

“You got any supplies?”

“I’m sure Tommy’s got some stuff down in the basement.”

“Then sure I guess.”

“That’s kinda of ya, child” Luda said, starting to place bowls and plates of food in the centre of the table.

“You let me stay last night when you didn’t have to. A kind gesture for a kind gesture.” I shrugged.

“You staying again tonight?” Hoyt pressed.

I came up with a quick lie.

“The house has… pests, my family is handling it but didn’t want me around the um, fumes.”

“Hmm, Texas vermin are the worst, Hoyt would know.”

Did Luda just crack a joke? The sheriff grumbled under his breath. Come on Macy, what’s taking so long? I groaned in my head.

Tommy’s POV:

I looked up to see Macy standing in the doorway. I was glad to see her home after she left in such a rush a day ago. I didn’t have the pleasure of seeing her last night.

“Mornin’ Tommy” she greeted.

I gave her a smile. My mask was off on the table.

“I’m sure Ma told ya we have a guest?”

I nodded. Ma said she couldn’t remember their name, and that they’d just come in late afternoon when I was doing my outdoor chores. I’d stayed in the basement most of the night to stay out the way. Macy had a bright smile on her face, and I pointed to my lips to ask her about it.

“Blinky’s here.” She smiled.

“Here?” I signed.

“Mmmhmm, just up stairs. They’re excited to meet ya.”

She pushed herself off the doorway and crossed the basement to stand on the other side of the table.

“She knows about us Tommy, and she’s not running.”

I couldn’t help the smile that spread on my face. I’d heard so much about Blinky already, and I was so happy someone was being kind to my sister. She deserved that more than anyone I knew. But I was surprised to hear they knew. Macy must really trust them.

“Stay?” I asked.

“I don’t think they’re going anywhere Tommy. And I really don’t want them to.”

I frowned. Sure I wanted to believe it, but we Hewitt’s didn’t have the best luck. Maybe they’d run when they saw me. Macy and walked away from the table for a moment, and was rifling through my things. She came back to the table holding a mask.

“Why don’t you wear your fancy mask today Tommy?”

I shook my head no.

“Tommy, they ain’t gonna judge ya, I promise.”

I gave her a look of scepticism, but grabbed it from her hands.

“You don’t have to stay the whole time, just come say hi. They came all this way.”

“Ok.” I signed.

I was beyond nervous. I didn’t want to ruin things for Macy, she seemed so happy. I would hate myself if I was responsible for her loosing another lover. I should have stopped Hoyt with the last one, and it haunted me every night. But he would have punished me if I tried. And Macy reminded me time and time again that that would have only made her feel worse.

I followed her up the stairs, staying a little behind. I wasn’t wearing my best clothes, but Macy was dressed in her pyjamas so I didn’t think it mattered much. My heart almost stopped when I saw them. Macy had described how small they were before, but I never actually imagined it. They were sat near the end of the table, with a pained look on their face. We could hear Hoyt talking from the hallway before we ever rounded corner.

I was surprised when they looked up to meet my gaze, expecting them to flinch or look away. But they just sent me a little smile. Macy placed a hand on my shoulder in comfort, before going to sit next to them.

“There ya are Boy. Making us wait for breakfast”. Hoyt said.

“The foods still hot Uncle, calm your tits.” Macy said.

I slowly made my way over to the table, and stood behind my chair. Blinky was having a silent conversation with Macy. I could only deduce Hoyt had probably said something nasty to them and I frowned. How anyone could be mean to the person who sat in front of me was beyond me. It was like those people who threw helpless kittens into a river, cause they thought it was funny to see a helpless creature struggle.

“Tommy sit your ass in that chair.” Hoyt said, growing annoyed.

Today wasn’t going to be fun if his mood was already this terrible. I pulled my chair out and sat, as we began to pass food around. I wasn’t the only one who seemed to take notice of the small amount on Blinky’s plate.

“No wonder you’re so tiny child, ya gotta eat more than that if you want to be strong.” Ma commented.

Macy grabbed an apple from the bowl that was always on the table and placed it on Blinky’s plate.

“They don’t eat meat Ma, they didn’t want you to have to make anything special for breakfast. They’ll be fine.” Macy explained.

Of course Hoyt had a problem with that. He let out a loud laugh.

“Yes, thank you for cooking Miss Luda. I’m sure these biscuits are lovely.”

“You have any idea who you’re fucking kid?” He asked.

I nearly choked on my own spit. That was a new development. Sure I knew my sister had an affair sex life. Why wouldn’t she? She was the pretty face of the family. But she’d never talked about Blinky like that before. Even revealed to me it was the longest she ever waited. She was worried maybe Blinky didn’t like her like that. But clearly it worked itself out.

“I do actually.” They said flatly.

I wondered if they always sounded like that, or if that’s just how they talked to Hoyt. Their thank you sounded much more sincere. I was glad they were being nice to Mama. Luda gave them a grin.

“Oh, so you’re serious about this one. Good on you Macy.”

She was trying at least. I knew she wasn’t the most comfortable with Macy being gay. She’d probably have a heart attack if she discovered I wasn’t into strictly women. Not that anyone was ever into me anyways, so I didn’t matter. Blinky cut into their apple with a fork and a knife, which I thought was odd. Normally people just bit them. They cut their biscuit into small pieces too.

“You were dumb to bring them here.” Hoyt addressed Macy.

Macy raised an eyebrow at him. And I grew a little worried. I didn’t like Hoyt’s tone one bit. It was how he talked to me when a victim nearly escaped. I saw Macy’s hand tighten around her knife.

“Uncle-“ she warned.

I decided to pull the attention away from Blinky, and decided to take my mask off to eat. They gave me no indication they’d be uncomfortable with it, and if Macy trusted them, then so did I. I didn’t want what happened to the last one, to happen to them. Macy recognised the click of my mask strap and turned to look at me, which in turn caused Blinky’s attention to turn to me. I kept my head low, taking a sip of my apple juice.

I tensed a little when their eyes remained on me. And Macy seemed to notice.

“How’s your juice Tommy?”

I gave her a confused look. It was juice. But I was thankful for the distraction anyway.

“Fine” I signed.

I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and moved them to look at Blinky.

“Favourite juice?” They sighed.

I was taken aback. I wasn’t aware they knew any sign.

“Orange.” I signed back.

Their eyes lit up.

“My favourite” they signed back happily.

I couldn’t help it, their smile was contagious. I understood what Macy was talking about now. I really didn’t have anything to worry about. Hoyt turned his conversation to Monty which we were all more than thankful to ignore him. He clearly didn’t like that he wasn’t scaring the small girl. Which made me even more confused, Hoyt even scared me. Even though I knew I could do a lot more damage than he ever could.

“You know sign?” Luda asked curiously.

“Tiny, he doesn’t have the best hearing and doesn’t like to talk much.” They shrugged.

“He your brother or something?”

I was intrigued to know the answer too. Macy had mentioned they at least had a sister. But she’d never met anyone from their family. Well expect for something Blinky called a Gruncle. Which I was sure I misheard the first time Macy said it, but she assured me I heard right. She’d seen him in passing. Blinky shrugged. they did that a lot. Like they weren’t sure of what to say, so they just defaulted to the gesture.

“I don’t really know what he is. He’s Mama’s kid, so my uncle maybe? Cousin?”

“That make him your brother, kid.” Hoyt said, annoyed. Chipping into the conversation. “You ain’t very smart, but I figured that already.”

He gestured to where they were sitting. I saw Macy roll her eyes. But Blinky seemed unfazed as usual.

“I was on track for medical school. And Mama is my grandma, we just call her Mama.” They shrugged. “I don’t even think I know her name, it’s just always been Mama.”

What an odd thing to say. But it wasn’t my place to judge their family.

“Medical school?” Luda asked.

Macy seemed equally surprised by this information.

“Ain’t ya a bit young for that?”

“I graduated early.“

That must be impressive, Macy and I had never even finished school. It wasn’t in the plans for people like us. And it wouldn’t serve me much good if I had. It would have been a waste of time.

“Smart” I signed.

“Aww thanks Tommy.”

“You gonna work in one of them fancy hospital?” Luda asked.

“Umm maybe, my family needs me home right now so I just help them out.”

“So family is important to you?”

“Very much, yes.”

It seemed mama was warming up to them, which warmed my heart. I knew Hoyt and Monty could be a handful, at the best of times. Macy wasn’t talking much, just enjoying her breakfast. But I didn’t blame her, she didn’t have dinner last night. I debated bringing some up to her, but Hoyt told me I shouldn’t go upstairs.

“So Tommy?” Blinky started.

I set down my fork and focused my attention on them. It was rude to not look at someone when they were talking.

“Did you make that mask yourself?” They asked.

I nodded.

“It’s so pretty! Maybe you could show me how you made it next time?”

I blushed slightly. Nobody but Macy and Mama ever told me they liked my masks before. Hoyt always made fun of them.

“Yes.” I sighed simply, not being able to convert my thoughts properly. I was too excited right now.

“Careful there Macy, I think Tommy’s trying to steal your girl.”

My eyes widened and I starred at the older man. I guess the look of panic was evident on my face. Cause I would never in a million years considering flirting with one of Macy’s girlfriends. As nice as Blinky seems to be so far, they made Macy happy. Macy was also now glaring at our uncle.

“Why would Thomas steal me when he can have any girl?” They said, sounding genuinely confused.

Hoyt and Monty burst out laughing. Which I had to admit hurt my feelings. Even Mama was glaring at them now.

“You think my boy is handsome?” Mama asked.

“Sure, Tommy is plenty handsome. He’s just gotta find someone nice who will love on him like he deserves.” They shrugged.

My blushing only got worse. I wanted the conversation to be on anything besides me right now.

“Thomas isn’t trying to steal my girlfriend Hoyt. As much as you wish that were the case, he’s just being polite. Maybe you should try it sometime!” Macy scolded him.

“Never!” I signed frantically.

“Blinky is mine.” Macy said, in a warning tone at Hoyt.

I didn’t doubt if he tried to pull his last stunt again, she’d finally kill him. Maybe we’d be better off?

“What, you gonna get married? In the house of god?” Hoyt scoffed.

“Maybe we will!”

“Maybe I’ll tip off some of my friends where it’s happening.” Hoyt threatened.

I had just about enough of this and I slammed my hand into the table.

“Blinky, friend. Stop.” I signed.

“Aww the new kids got Thomas all riled up” Monty cooed.

Blinky cleared their throat, and everyone turned their attention back to them. I felt embarrassed they had witnessed this outburst.

“I would suggest, Sheriff, that you stop antagonising my people. Nothing good happens when you antagonise my people.”

The look in their eyes was filled with determination.

“Sooner or later, everyone at this table is gonna leave you. And you’ll die cold and alone. Not even the angels will take pity on you, and the demons wouldn’t give you the time of day. Reevaluate your life choices before you have nothing left to live for. As for you Mr Monty, just because you have no legs, doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover. Your spine still works, use it, form your own opinions for once. It won’t kill you.”

We all sat dumbfounded. Nobody had ever dared talk to Hoyt like that before. The silence was making me anxious, and I could tell it was getting to Macy too. The edge of the table looked like it was going to snap under her grip. I was surprised when Mama started chuckling under her breath.

“You’re bold kid, I’ll give ya that. Why don’t you kids run off now, Mama is gonna have a chat with your uncle.”

“Thank you for breakfast.” Blinky said.

Macy and I were quick to follow, thanking my mother and walking down to the basement. As soon as the door was closed, we could hear yelling from the kitchen.

“Jesus Blink, you trying to get yourself killed.”

“I would like to see him try, I could run faster than him on Monty’s legs, what’s left of them anyway.”

I could help the small laugh that escaped me. They were funny. Macy sighed, but cracked a smile anyway.

“Why didn’t I bring you here sooner?”

“Cause you were worried about me finding out you’re a cannibal.”

Macy laughed.

“That was a rhetorical question my love.”

“Oh.”

Macy kissed their forehead and walked around to the table. She leaned against it. And I chose to stay by the wall. Leaving Blinky to stand awkwardly by the stair case.

“I meant what I said earlier Tommy, anyone would be lucky to have you. And Macy and I will be right here to cheer you on when you find them.”

How could they me so kind? I wasn’t even aware that was humanly possible. I’d never met anyone quite like them before. Even my nicest victims still said nasty things when they were scared.

“They’re right Tommy. You’ll find someone. And I won’t let Hoyt say shit about it.”

I offered my little sister a smile. She was always able to drag them out of me.

“Think Ma got out the wooden spoon?” Macy joked.

I laughed, shaking my head. Macy help her arms open, and Blinky walked to them like it was instinct. I watched as she wrapped the smaller girl in her arms. Blinky practically disappearing in them. They looked so cute together it made my heart race. But the fact that they were so confident I could have something like that some day, it gave me hope.

“I think I can head home tomorrow Macy, if you wouldn’t mind. Things should be all better at home. Tommy and you are free to visit anytime, just give me a heads up before hand yeah?”

“Whatever you wish.” Macy replied.

I watched as the younger girl nearly dozed off in her arms. But Macy didn’t seem worried about it. Maybe this was normal for them. But I wouldn’t mind getting to know more about Blinky. Maybe I could make them their own mask and Macy can gift it to them next time they visited. That could be nice.

An: Today was a shit show at work, so I wanted to hurry up and finish this to get me in a better mood. Thomas is so stinking cute and I’m dying. Main timeline again next, but they merge soon after the Hewitts and the Firefly’s finally meet!

#blinky firefly #Blinky x Macy #Macy Love-Hewitt #the Hewitt family #texas chainsaw massacre #Texas chainsaw au #house of 1000 corpses au

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heyheyheyhaikyu · 2 years

Text

WWC

nineteen - in the shower??? (w/p)

word count: 900 ish

“Make sure y/n gets home at a decent time, okay boys?” You heard your dad say as you stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel and hair still dripping.

“Leave them alone dad! I’ll be home on time. I don’t need a babysitter,” you yelled out to him. You heard them all laugh and you walked into your room to change.

You dried off and dug through your closet for a comfortable outfit, settling on a black T-shirt and some gray sweatpants. Looking in your mirror and feeling content, you drape the towel over your head to dry your hair some before walking out of you room and to your friends.

“One time y/n and their mother made up this whole dance routine. They were so excited to show me when I got home from work that they ended up tripping and breaking their arm,” your father said with a smile, fondly remembering the story.

“Please stop talking,” you groaned, patting his back and taking the towel off your head to place in the laundry basket.

He smiled at you and your friends laughed. “I wasn’t saying anything bad, promise.”

“Yeah, he was just sharing a few stories while we waited,” Akaashi chimed in.

You rolled your eyes. “I told you guys to just come to my room to avoid all that,” you sighed, shaking your head.

“Oh come on, I’m not that embarrassing for you, am I?” He looked at you with feigned innocence.

“Yes, yes you are,” you joked with a chuckle. “Now come on. If we don’t leave now you’re going to be late and I doubt your coach would appreciate that, mr. captain,” you said, ushering the two out of your house. “I’ll see you later dad. Text me if something comes up and you won’t be home. Or if you need anything, okay?” You yelled as you departed.

“Will do! Have fun and don’t get into too much trouble,” you heard as you shut the door.

You let out a sigh into the cool air. “I’m sorry you had to deal with him. He’s a bit of a handful at times,” you chuckled, linking a hand with each of the boys.

“I actually really liked your father! He was cool and very welcoming,” Bokuto explained with a bright smile.

Akaashi nodded in agreement. “Yes, he seems like a very good man.”

You briefly thought of many memories with your parents and couldn’t help the smile that spread on your lips. “He is. Him and my mother were always amazing to me. When we were younger, Tetsu and Ken were basically adopted into my family because my mother loved them so much.” Your smile dropped into a different smile. One harboring many emotions, but the most prominent being sadness. “My mom was in an accident and passed away a few years back. That’s actually the main reason we left Tokyo. My dad needed to get away, so he got a new job and we left. I honestly thought I’d never meet Tetsurō and Kenma ever again, but fate was on our side I suppose,” you chuckled. “Sorry. I’m rambling, aren’t I...” You felt both Akaashi and Bokuto gently rub their thumb against yours in encouragement to continue.

“Please continue. I love getting to know you more and learning new things about you,” Bokuto said calmly, giving you a gentle nudge.

You looked at him. He was such a light. Such an amazingly bright person you couldn’t help but feel addicted to. His smile and the warmth he radiated with every fiber of his being were so enchanting.

“Yeah, hearing you talk so freely about a hard subject is amazing... You’re amazing.” He gently squeezed your hand and gave you a soft smile.

The overwhelming joy you felt when you were around these two was hard to comprehend. You wanted to push down those feelings even though you didn’t view them as bad. You simply knew how much they meant to you and that was scary to think about. You loved them both, but in what way? The words of your two best friends lingered in your head, plaguing your every thought. Could you love them in that way? Were you ready to openly love in that way again? After all, you’re only a kid. Most people your age hadn’t even dated once. Had either of them ever had a significant other? Thought after thought flooded your mind as you walked, causing you to fall into silence.

The two boys shared a look before stoping their feet, hands holding you to a halt as well. You snapped around to look at the two, letting go of their hands.

“Is something wrong?” You asked, confusion written clearly on your features.

“That’s what we should be asking you,” Akaashi said with a frown.

You looked between him and the man to his left. “Umm no? Everything’s fine? Why the sudden stoping though?”

“You just got really quiet, so we were worried is all,” Bokuto said as he gently placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Oh, I’m sorry for worrying you.” You frowned. “I just got a little lost in thought I’d all! But I’m good now, so let’s get back to walking so your late, okay?” You shot them a soft smile, spinning back around and holding out your hands for the two to return to. They quickly fell back into place, enjoying the comfort your smile brings.

master | prev | next

➪ Finally moving back to where you grew up, you excitedly start at your new school where your two childhood best friends attend. Joining their boys vbc as a manager wasn’t originally in your plans, but some things happen for a reason, right?

A/N: :’) just finished my first day of work and my back and legs are fucking dead. Kill me pls lmao. Do be makin that bread tho frfr🥴

#haikyuu smau #smau #haikyuu x reader smau #haikyuu x gn!reader #social media au #akaashi smau #haikyuu #akaashi smau series #akaashi x reader smau #akaashi x gn!reader #akaashi #akaashi x reader #bokuto x reader smau #bokuto x gn!reader #bokuto smau series #bokuto smau #bokuto #bokuto x reader #wwcsmau

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lisxdumbr · 2 years

Note

i Finally finished the reply (I just woke up from taking a nap)

I don't mind you replying to both asks in one post at all! ♪ I intended for my asks to be separated so you can answer each with half the whole burden divided since they're pretty.. Long, yanno? Easier and faster to reply to each. Before anything else, thank you for taking out some of your precious time to reply !! I do have a small request tho, since the asks and reply can get long, will it alright for you if you can put *read more*? :0 I just feel like not wanting to take up space on someone's feed since i feel bad and so so sdfjfhds. I hope that's okay for you; I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY. help. BONJOUR to you☆ for the greetings, because I have no idea what to go for the greeting.

Themes can somehow show a person's uniqueness, a quick insight to their aesthetic choices and such, so it's a lovely thought! There will always be someone who will like what you do and create <3 I have seen Qian's!! but i am unsure about Soren's (have not seen it), either way, their themes surely look beautiful even if I have not witnessed it all 🙌✨

HI you are a Moon too...!! mm I don't know, but it radiated Yuta energy to me when you said that. I agree with the thing about the units choosing you !! There will be units you thought you'd like at first, but they don't survive in the end as the actual units you produce </3 you'll never know when it happens. I HAVE READ THE 2WINKVERSARY it is lovely. I think it made me tear up a bit, I can feel your love for them, and the journey along the twins hand in hand throughout the time. Sobs. It's really meant to be, isn't it?

Enstarsblr is wonderful, there's lots of nice people if you know where to look. I'm happy that it's a nice and welcoming community, good for everyone in here !! With the mention of the prev year, I have heard that it's quite the tiny community filled with peace back then (am not yet into enstars). I'll extend my support too, wherever they may be.

Controlling fear of bugs is so amazing that you could do it !! am so proud of you <33 i feel the same about thinking dragonflies were small, but they Weren't. Brings me back to the gigantic dragonflies of the prehistoric age, the Meganeura. Yes, the Horrors... If a cockroach in the area attempts to fly, pls see me in heaven.

Back then while I was doing my homework in our living room, there's a grasshopper (yes it aint crickets usually but they're similar in the jumping sense,,,) in the corner. More often than not, instances when there's a grasshopper in the house, it coincidences with the nearing date of our deceased relative's birthdays (more on my grandpas/grannys). It's like a culture belief in my country, like a dead relative visiting you in form of insects.

The horrible thing about them is when they JUMP. I am terrified. So when I saw one in the corner of our living room ( i have high insect detection instincts due to being afraid of them. and yet usually they say theres no bug in there when i see it with my two eyes ) I said, "Pack it up, soldiers. We're going home," and left everything else unattended for I will die within the presence of the grasshopper. I am very comfy with having sunflower as my emoji, don't worry !! ✨

Philo and psych are two interesting subjects to study, I hope you learned a bunch of things from studying it !! Absolutely take your time to answer, I beg of you... I get carried away when chatting (haha.,,..) so it results in typing long messages. and of course, more importantly, Take care now!! 💗 (i'll follow up the second reply)

P.S: How do i stop talking.. goodness. I cannot shut up for the life of me. I have the 2nd part ready, but it is Long as well, like a Ramble. Please answer my asks when you have the time Only !! Conserve thy energy for better things <3

— 🌻.

HELLOOO LOVELY ANON WHO GIVES ME A SEROTONIN BOOST EVERY TIME. I apologize for the time it took me to get to your ask ;; I hope you're doing great today btw !! I decided to reply to both of your asks in one post (again) but separately (?) this time, just trying formats.

And sure !! I didn't think about the length of the post at all because of the new Tumblr "expand" thing, but let's give it a try !

I still believe you're too kind when talking about my themes, oooh you should've seen my past ones. I still miss the Lemon Squash Cheers one and the No Name Yet Kohaku too ♡ I've been thinking I should. return to them one day, but I'd have to search for the assets I used and hhh. (Pretty sure I saved them on purpose because of this idea but my gallery is a mess 0(-( ). And !! I decided I will change to the Trick w Treat Yuta actually! When school allows me (fee me).

YOU SHOULD SEE SORENCAT'S THEMES. it's so unfortunate you can't see his past themes </33 (I'm crossing my fingers that he won't read this, else it'll be embarrassing) but,, he was a huge inspiration for me when designing themes. Actually the entire layout of my edit blog is so inspired in the layouts he previously had. HIS BRAIN >>> my favorite ones were both his autumn and winter themes (from last year) perhaps I have a screenshot? 👀 (As I implied before my gallery is a mess. I never delete anything, it's horrifying) but even if I did, I guess I'd need his permission to show u,, ANYWAY. I'm rambling about my friend and you don't even know him I believe-- his user is @ nnatsume ! He's currently on hiatus but he's as treasured as anyone,, even if we don't talk much anymore </3

YOU'RE SO !!!?&?&! I'm going to hold you in my hand. That actually irradiated Yuta energy??? I keep finding details that make us more and more similar. I am. so ashamed that you had to see my 2winkversary,, I went a bit insane there ummm twiddle. Enstarsblr was indeed one of the most beautiful places on earth, I'm sad to admit that the community crushed and divided itself after Eng release and the amount of new people getting involved </3

See I'm not mad at the newcomers or anything, glad they're enjoying their time. But I am a bit bitter towards them because, small parenthesis;

At the beginning they started causing a lot of controversy over stuff they were ignorant about. I remember they started insulting Anzu and "cancelling characters for being problematic" and they also refused to read stories--

I'm a silly little #gatekeeper idk I just don't like my interests to be mainstream (that's on me ik)

Ohhhmygod the amount of weird people plaguing the main tag now,, enstblr used to be a very tranquil space, not updated that much and with so little people on it we literally knew everyone. We could spot newcomers and welcome them in an instant. Now you see 70 different people there a day, and let's not talk about the,, fics. I'm personally not against dark content (I actually like some of it) or the NSFUU because it's just another genre of writing but,, does it has to plague the entire tag,, there's not even a balance, every day I check the tag and there are 20 different works from accounts I haven't seen in my life and like. 10 of them are nsw help me Jesus 0(-(

I know there are cool people among the newcomers probably, but I can't help but think about the golden era. Those shiny days we had last year and at the beginning of this year.. I miss them, I wish I could go back </3

This is such a jump of topics, but !! Yeah I'm surprised at myself too. This is going to sound stupidly silly but,, even if this "fear of bugs control" started a while ago, it actually started developing much more when I started thinking to myself "if Yuuta was here, who would protect him from the bugs!?" and for some reason that. helped a lot ????? I don't know if you know this but he's absolutely terrified of insects and I found that so cute he's the silliest YOUR INSTINCT IS AMAZING THOUGH, I was going to say a fun fact about scorpions, but I decided that. maybe it wouldn't be the best thing to do if you fear them. well.

It's totally ok to ramble btw, I enjoy reading you ! And I love looove talking too, so it's ok really <3

ー〜ー〜ー　♧　ー〜ー〜ー

Second ask <3

Omg... various face paints, I'd like to see that !! it's so nice that the face paints do not limit creativity, and allows it to grow. Ooh, although I cannot personally add a comment on your opinion, I looked up Skelita and !! She looks so amazing + according to the description, she has a nice personality too!! I love the orange highlights and colorful dress.

Worry not !! I'm glad you're at least fine, it means a lot already ^_^ Yeahhhh... homework... *collapses just by the thought of it* Liking your classes is so niceee waahh, I'm happy you're at least enjoying them ! OHHH your creative projects seems so interesting, I hope it goes well and you enjoy the process of doing so !! Media is a blessing, since it inspires us to find outlets for our hyperfixations and interests. I have some vague ideas in my mind for the final project, but it only focuses on aesthetics and symbolisms, if that's allowed within the "anything" range your teacher told you,,, let me know if you wanna hear it. all the best <3

thank you, i will be dropping by whenever i have the time (i actually typed this hours ago before i passed out ) also the amount of 0(-( in the second reply is sending me. i love that. 읏.

anon lore... i guess you could call it like that,... im not supposed to reveal that im a reiP first and foremost however i figured that it would make sense since it's timely that his fs 2 is around. 100 pulls hurts a lot in jp server,,, lis i am so sorry for your lost dias :((( .... this happened to me. Rei is a [redacted] for making me pull 130 pulls on his noir neige banner on taiwan server and NO, he did not came home. I think i lost my sanity along with my dias due to that.

I SUPPORT HINATAP agenda. idk to yuta, deserved... perhaps. there's something with liking a sibling which makes the other sibling to come home to you instead (hello ritsu). update: i tried doing single pulls until my dias went exactly to 1k, no rei for now!! in the future i hope. I HOPE YOU GET MIRAGE YUTA 3 MONTHS LATER !! *does the same violent act to yuta and throws many copies of mirage yuta to you. might as well kidnap him the izumi way. ( i am sorry )* Deeply thinking about what if the hinata cards that came home to you were supposed to be yuta in disguise but before he could change he was pulled in disguise as hinata (coping mechanism,, maybe.)

NOOOOOOO kanata..!!! they got fs 2 rei x2, but at what cost.. when kanata didn't puka puka his way to his pulls !! kanata probably floated in the wrong water 😭 i hope they get kanata too after 3 months !! love and support from an oddballsP <3 peace and love !!! we shall get our favs after 3 months... *prepares weapons and equipment for war* Being f2p in this game spells suffering. " i blocked him that day" HELP ME. That is so understandable fjdsjdks

& ! I did had an amazing day !! (it's midnight as we speak right now) MAY YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY AS WELL!! <3 heart heart. i talked a lott. Help. I just hope my asks were at least good reading materials to you, like a newspaper. See you !!

I'm so glad you feel interested in the culture !! It's actually, really wide (and cool too) honestly reading your reply hit me like a truck. Oh mein gott, sometimes I forget people grow in different environments and that not all experiences are similar to mine but. You're the first person who tells me they didn't know Skelita, I felt 💥 (am I getting old. are people these days not into MH anymore...? ‹/3)

And yeah !! My subjects are so cool, I'd love to hear your final project ideas btw <3 anything means anything. It's not the idea, but the way you execute it you know? 👀 I can use any concept if I'm able to demonstrate I actually learned techniques and composition and all that stuff.

I'm glad you love the 0(-( because that's. Me. That's my energy. 0(-( and yeah 100 pulls is. a lot. It pains me but well, one day ! Also omg I'm so sorry :(( I've never played twstars but I believe they hold the same system as foreign servers in general?? Hopefully you could replenish your dia quickly ! I actually pulled for that Rei too (and didn't get him aha) because,, Noir Neige my beloved and the ultimatum of my insanity. I wanted to grind that Ritsu but I had to save because I was a bit broke,, (and thanks god because the amount of faves that came after,, ohh if you knew).

HELP ME, hand me the Ritsus, I've been wanting kitty Ritsu since day 1. ACTUALLY since day 0. I knew about that card before I started playing and I knew I wanted it as soon as I created my account (and guess what. hueh. points at my empty Ritsu stock). THANK YOU SO MUCH. I hope so too :(( lady year I didn't get Fruitful Yuu either and he came in a free pull like. 6 months later so !! I have faith (though I give the credit to my friend Marchie (@ rinnelovebot) because before pulling she wished me to get a Yuta and !! It happened (and she's so lucky with my faves, she has the Hinata card I'm missing 0(-( ) Maybe they keep switching places, perhaps. Also it's ok if you kidnap him, deserved, I mean he already has experience after nightclub so hwJJBDHHWBFB I'm not sorry.

We all adore the eccentrics <33 my beloved weird geniuses. I miss them every day. I hope you get all your Reis in the future btw !! wishing you luck <3

Have a nice day too !! Yes your asks are amazing and good ! do not feel bad about talking and infodumping if it makes you happy ♡

#❝ mail !!#🌻 !! anon #this took me like an hour to type oh mein gott

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emilemily · 1 year

Text

One of the most hurtful, but enlightening experiences this far: finding out how someone you really loved feels about you.

I got what I wanted. He reached back out, but not in the way I’d wanted. He reached out as if he was talking to someone snorting meth off the bus stop bench. As if I was hopelessly lost and needed someone to swoop in and save me. It rubbed me the wrong way right off the bat, but I was so desperate to get closure that I didn’t even address that.

The first day he let his heart show a little, and then our few talks following that felt a little odd. He was cold, extremely focused on where I’ve gone wrong or fucked up, over analyzing my life and trauma and inability to make the right choice. Anytime I asked questions about him he was either sarcastic, rude, short, emotionless, or avoidant. He wanted to focus on me. This caused me to nervously ramble a few times.

It almost felt as if he was trying as hard as he could to be cold and distant. I couldn’t shake the thought. It didn’t feel right talking again. He told me the first day that after what he did I shouldn’t be talking to him. I couldn’t help but agree. Why did I respond to such an insultingly holier-than-thou savior complex sort of message? What power did he have over me?

I made the mistake of thinking that he still cared about me as much as I cared about him. After all, why would he reach out two years after cutting me off? (By the way, he tried to blame me by saying I blocked him after that. I told him that I did that because he told me clearly that he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. Was I supposed to beg? That’s a personal choice and I had no choice but to respect it.

To that he changed the subject and asked why I’m so proud and don’t accept help. Yeah, it’s hard to be put in the hot seat or have to face the shitty decisions you made, and the person you hurt. Why not derail that and turn it over to me and make it about my bad decisions in life as if you have none of your own? Fascinating stuff this was.

He told me that not a day has passed that he hasn’t thought of me, wondered if I was safe, etc. blah blah blah. I really believed this for a day or so. It was almost like old times for a moment.

Last night something just….shattered. I was feeling extremely low and asked him to call me because I just needed to laugh for a little while. From the beginning of the conversation things were just odd again. He was consistently making weirdly sexual jokes, being rude in response to little questions I asked or things I tried to come up with to say.

He asked me if I think I’m crazy. I felt a little put on the spot so I rambled a bit and then asked him if he thinks I’m crazy, mostly trying to joke my way out of whatever the fuck he was getting at. He said I’m not crazy, I just make stupid decisions. He kept going on and on about it, laughing like there was some hysterical joke. I felt myself getting hot.

I told him that I’m so glad he’s perfect. That it must be wonderful to be such an example of perfection and asked if he’d be able to enlighten me on how to become as great as he is. He started getting annoyed here because I guess maybe he expected me to just be silent and take his bullshit. Instead, I started to cut him off because it was becoming really disrespectful, judgmental, and egotistical. He told me two times in a row to shut the fuck up and started continuing to speak

Before I could even think, the woman inside me who has been verbally and otherwise abused raised my voice and told him not to ever tell me to shut the fuck go again. I’d had enough of being de-balled. I told him that he was getting out of line and that I’ve been trying extremely hard to get ahead career-wise and that sometimes the world feels like it’s against me. He mad some comment about me being stupid right now, and to not say whiney shit like that.

This is where I was about ready to hang up the phone. But it got worse. He continued and let me know that if he were to see me sucking dicks on the side of the road for money, that it would not affect him whatsoever. It wouldn’t make him sad or happy, he wouldn’t feel anything. He said that what I do does not affect him, and that the only things that affect him are his pay, housing, food etc.

At this point I was so stunned I couldn’t speak. Who was I talking to? Who is this person he has become? Who the fuck did he think he was talking to? I was starting to cry and get flushed at this point and I just hung up. I couldn’t listen to him anymore. I couldn’t handle this heartless bastard that was talking to me. And to think, I really thought he was my person.

The thing I always loved the most about him was his beautiful heart, his capacity for love and empathy, his unwavering support. Everything he was saying to me was insulting, heartbreaking, nauseating. It’s as if the person I used to know was dead. Is dead. I suddenly felt like 1000 pounds was lifted off of me. I’ve never gone from loving someone so much, to hating them so much. Never in my life. It was life changing.

He always told me that he hated his dad, he never wanted to wind up like him. And here he is, turned into his dad. Maybe even worse. His success has turned him into a fucking monster. A monster who doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but himself, who lacks the ability to empathize with and support people without judging their moves. Someone who would actually have the audacity to talk to me, someone he cared about for over ten years, like such utter garbage.

It’s so stupid because as we were talking a day or so prior, I was recalling fond memories we’d had. Moments that were burned into my brain so vividly. Moments where I truly felt at peace and cared for. I found so much safety in those memories, and now they’re tarnished for good. I think of them this moment and feel nothing but disgust and resentment.

A big part of me wonders if he found my content online and couldn’t handle it. Maybe that’s what he meant by bad decisions. Maybe that’s what made him feel so comfortable talking to me in such a way, completely unprovoked. Not to say that was justified, but there are twisted people out there and their thought processes aren’t hard to guess.

If that is the case, I guess all I can say is that I made that content for the money. I played a part, acted the way I needed to in order to make the money I really needed at the time, and I’m not sorry for that. I’m an adult who was in a loving, healthy relationship at the time. The only thing he really got right was telling me that I don’t need to explain myself to him (while tearing me to pieces verbally and shaming me for making the choices I felt I had to make in order to survive as I built my career)

If he didn’t find my content and just acted that way out of the blue, then I guess the resentment really boiled over. Did he reach out to be just to hurt me again? Did he want to really tear my heart out? Did he want to cause me pain after already doing so? Why did he even contact me? So many questions that I will never receive answers to. But to be honest, those questions don’t eat me alive. I don’t long to talk and figure it out. I lost no sleep over it last night because I knew it was over and there was no coming back from this.

At the end of the day, money and success doesn’t make you a good person, it doesn’t make you a role model, it doesn’t make you better than anyone else. What is really telling is how you handle dealing with people who have taken different paths than you, who weren’t raised with a silver spoon in their mouth and all the opportunities they needed to succeed handed to them by mommy and daddy. People who have struggled tooth and nail in ways you’ll never understand.

What matters is the heart in you. The way you treat people. The way you talk to old friends when you’ve found your success and they’re still working on theirs. The way you treat people who have made choices you wouldn’t, but haven’t technically done anything wrong.

I’d 10/10 rather be struggling, not as successful as I could be, and a little lost than be someone who looks down on others. Who forgets all the wrong turns they took before getting it right. Who tries to force their ideas of right and wrong on others. Who seeks to judge instead of support and understand. Who thinks their path works for everyone and if anyone doesn’t take it, they’re not intelligent.

He gave me abusive boyfriend vibes last night for the first time ever in our entire time knowing each other. If that fight had been in person, I would have probably been afraid of him. And that is bone chilling to me.

When you start thinking you have it all figured out and you’re the example of “doing it the right way” you lose yourself.

I don’t need any charity. I don’t need his or anyone’s help. I don’t need a plan to be created for me. I don’t need any of that and I never asked for it. All I wanted was my friend back. He’s now permanently ugly to me and I am still processing that. I’ve never felt so destroyed and insulted by someone I’ve loved and admired for so long. I’ve never loved and admired someone to that degree for so many years, so maybe it’s weird because it’s my first time at the rodeo.

I know two things for certain:

1. I will never, ever in my life open up to anyone to the degree that I did with him. I feel naked and awful. He didn’t deserve to know my thoughts or feelings and he taught me a valuable lesson.

2. I will be extremely successful one day, and I will own my own home. My “boring” longing for a traditional, stable, content and happy life is my business. That’s my goal, and whether or not that is exciting enough for anyone else, it’s exciting for me. Nobody else on planet earth is important enough or successful enough to tell another person that their dreams are wrong. You live one life. Keep your side of the street clean and unless you’re helping someone out or defending yourself, “shut the fuck up.” My success will be beautiful and I will do it entirely without any of his help or approval, and I don’t care.

I guess this is what it’s like to live long enough to watch your heroes become the villains. It’s almost a numb feeling, like why am I surprised? I shouldn’t be. People suck. Nobody is entirely safe. Not a single fucking soul.

Anyway I start my super shitty job I got with my boring life on Monday! Wish me luck as I navigate being a failure who makes stupid decisions while also moving thousands of miles away for my own good, starting a new job, and taking care of my mental health.

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ritaeng · 2 years

Text

Mansion of hot takes

I just woke up. I shut my eyes, and afterwards open them.

I see the tables, and chairs, the floor, the door, the walls of my room, and the books ranged upon the walls ; some of these things at one distance, some at another; some of one shape and size, some of another1.

my head is heavy , like a book which had been shut for a while but which I would keep before my eyes until night2. The nocturnal activities of the brain, part of which one experiences as dreams, are probably first and foremost back up processes for the self programme in its state prior to the last waking phase.3

I hear them, Charlotte and Bolis. I Stretch myself, when all of a sudden the music seemed to get louder, and what it was was that you could begin to hear the guitar strumming4

“Let's have breakfast.5" I hear charlotte say.

“Ambient music or elevator music, the light music of distraction6” she says jokingly while waiting for the elevator to arrive.

What guests will be here today. These guests appear and disappear as the lines of confrontation shift engulfing them in one enemy territory or another7.

It is customary here for the host and hostess to welcome their guests as master and mistress of the house8.

I stood waiting behind a number of guests who had arrived before9 while Charlotte and Bolis welcomed them.

We sat down and A long, noisy, rambling debate ensued10. The ear becomes an aberrant, almost monstrous zone absorbing flows of information and in the process threatening to outgrow the form of the human body, making the écouteur inhuman11.

It is a temporary evacuation of the passive subjective ego that knows the human world; a body without organs absorbing and synthesising information to generate questions and thoughts that can imagine possible futures12.

One guest caught my eye

His voice was not terribly loud, but I could hear a very faint reverberation bouncing back from the far walls13.

The reach of a malevolent word’s reverberation is incalculable; it may buzz in the head of its hearer in a way that far exceeds any impact that its utterer had in mind14. My Mother would say we also need these people.

They provide a critical opposition to established ideas; their presence is a direct correlate of the right to free speech; a basic part of the self regulation of a successful society, which will generate counter movements whenever things get off the track15

His words were turning in my head on my way to school. I already felt fully soaked with information and opinions.

Today I have an uneasy mind, the tendency to wander, if it reside in the mind itself that is desirous of rushing after various things without rhyme or reason16

My lords, take note of how time flies on earth as well as how our life is fleeing, and how Death is at our backs17. I’m already on my way back home.

I need a break. I sit on a bench next to the market. I take out my phone intuitively, just to put it back in my pocket right away.

I am always observing people, in streets, in churches, in markets, in theatres, in promenades, in public assemblies18 to cool down. I try to imagine what they are thinking about in order to leave my own thoughts aside.

I leave the market and walk over to our house, our bed and breakfast.

Guests are stranded high in their hotel rooms19.

I take the elevator up to where my place is.

When the elevator door slid open20, I stand there for some minutes, waiting, before I enter my room.

I look inside myself; I am concerned with no one but me; without ceasing I reflect on myself, I watch myself, savour myself21.

in self consciousness, the I does not reflect upon itself as its own object, it directly posits itself22

The strength of the wit is nourished and kept growing by precepts; it adds new points of view to those which are inborn and corrects depraved ideas.23

My mind is eased now. Wandering there alone, I found the solitude desirable; my mind was stored with ideas, which this new scene associated with astonishing rapidity.24

My eyes get heavy, iam ready to fall asleep, ready to absorb the informations of the next day.

1Hume, A Treatise of Human Nature

2 Mill, Analysis of the Phenomena of the Human Mind Vol I

3 Sloterdijk, You Must Change Your Life

4 Borges, Collected Fictions

5 Rand, The Fountainhead

6 Houlgate, Hegel and the Arts

7 Burke, A Life in Education and Architecture Mary Beaumon

8 Wollstonecraft, Complete Works

9 Proust, In Search of Lost Time Vol IV Sodom and Gomorrah

10 Marx, Collected Works

11 Munster, Materializing New Media Embodiment in Information

12 Baker, Sentient Relics Museums and Cinematic Affect

13 Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

14 Riley, Impersonal Passion

15 Alexander, A Pattern Language

16 Deleuze, Cinema 2 The Time Image

17 Petrarch, The Canzoniere

18 Harrison Wood Gaiger, Art in Theory 1648 1815

19 Goldsmith, Capital New York Capital of the 20th Century

20 Rand, The Fountainhead

21 de Montaigne, The Complete Essays

22 Zizek, Less Than Nothing

23 Seneca, Complete Works

24 Wollstonecraft, Complete Works

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kumzume · 3 years

Text

take a seat ft. itadori yuuji

wc. 1.5k :0

warnings. SMUT, eager yuuji, face sitting, cumming untouched, uhhh, kinda soft(????), embarrassed blushy yuuji, lots of inner thoughts (???), sukuna being a lil shit, uhhh

an. this is for that one nonnie who asked for some yuuji n i had to oblige :) i love this man he so cute omg ALSO cannot tell if this is good or not lmao wrote it half asleep so ignore typos n such

(ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

ever since yuuji first laid eyes on you, he knew he wanted one thing.

it wasn’t necessarily a relationship, even though he knew you would make an excellent partner; it wasn’t a friendship either—he could never have enough of those and yet it wasn’t what he truly wanted.

what itadori yuuji really wanted from you was... embarrassing.

yuuji was no stranger to his body and libido but the attraction he felt for you was otherworldly. he could hardly breathe when you walked around the corner, much less focus on exorcising a curse. it had gotten so bad that even gojou-sensei had caught on and teased him relentlessly about his infatuation with you.

and that’s what it was—a mere infatuation that would pass in a month... or two... or five... well it wasn’t going away but that didn’t mean he liked you liked you.

all he wanted was—

“i want you to sit on my face.”

what the FUCK.

the minute the words left his lips, a firetruck red blush spread over his entire face and chest, his mouth babbling apologies and curses.

it didn’t help that yuuji could just feel sukuna sitting in the back of his head, mocking and teasing him. now all he wanted was to sink through the floor never to be seen again.

in the midst of an emotion-filled tirade of an apology, a soft hand found its way on his cheek, a thumb caressing the mark that resides there.

yuuji immediately shut up as he leaned his face into your touch. he couldn’t keep his eyes from fluttering shut from your ministrations while simultaneously ignoring sukuna laughing at how easy it was for you to gain control of the infamous vessel.

the both of you stood there for what felt like hours to yuuji but was probably more close to 2 minutes. he had almost forgotten about his previous mortifying sentence until you opened your mouth to speak.

“you want me to sit on your face?” you questioned with honest curiosity in your voice, not noticing how yuuji’s body tensed instantly at the subject change.

the red flush was back as he moved to bolt out of your arms and hopefully to the bottom of the ocean where he would not have to deal with this horrifying incident.

you, being super observant, of course noticed yuuji’s hesitance to respond to your query, his eyes constantly darting off to the side as he stammered some kind of excuse to get away.

you caught the words “meeting” and “ocean” in the midst of his rambling before deciding to take matters into your own hands, hoping to save the poor boy from an early heart attack.

yuuji was about ready to pass out when your soft (so soft, were they always like this or did you use chapstick, oh my gosh was that cherry flavored??) lips pressed against his, pulling him into a gentle kiss.

his body relaxed in your hold, his massive, calloused hands coming up to hold your hips. he could faintly hear sukuna urging him to take charge of the situation but yuuji was more than content to have you hold the reins especially when you did something with your tongue leaving him weak in the knees.

the kiss wasn’t at all sultry at first but it quickly turned that way, your tongue pushing its way into his mouth and meeting his, allowing a small whine to crawl up the back of his throat.

yuuji pushed you away from himself, his chest heaving and lips kiss swollen. he looked a little less embarrassed and a little more turned on which gave you the confidence to finally answer his question.

“i want to sit on your face,” you said nonchalantly, ignoring the throbbing between your legs and the heat of your cheeks. his reaction was immediate; a loud groan escaped his chest and his knees buckled beneath him.

you reacted quickly and caught him but not before he dragged you down to the ground with him. yuuji landed with a thud and you landed hard on top of him, both your legs straddling his hips leaving your wet heat beneath your skirt just a breath above his hard cock pressing against the zipper of his pants.

when you looked back down at him, you reveled in his reaction, a bright red covering his cheeks and his mouth slightly agape at your closeness.

you grinned and leaned back down, your lips grazing his ear. “i said i want to sit on your face—will you let me do that yuuji? want me to fuck that pretty mouth of yours?” his eyes rolled back in his head while his hips involuntary bucked up into yours. your words affected him much more than he expected— you just sounded so sexy.

“yes yes yes, please sit on my face, i need you, i need your cum—fuck—just please,” he begged, his hands finding your hips again to push them down against his own. he thrusted against you, whining when he felt you leak over his crotch.

you moaned softly at his voracity but still swiftly maneuvered your way out of his hold so that you could pull your soiled panties off before straddling over his lips.

yuuji’s eyes locked onto your dripping wet heat, craning his head up to get a taste but you lifted up too far for him to reach. he whimpered loudly, his eyes turning glassy as he made eye contact with you.

you continued your little game of hovering over his mouth in reach but then pulling back when he got too close until he was whining and crying, tears leaving tracks on his cheeks and liquid on your thighs.

as much as you loved seeing him this desperate and debauched, you decided to stop teasing him and give him what he wanted. slowly, you lowered yourself back down to his red lips, giggling a little when he groaned thinking that you were teasing him yet again, but when you didn’t stop his eyes widened in shock.

holy shit.

you were actually going to sit on his face, smother him with your thighs, suffocate him in your pussy and he was going to love every. single. second.

when you got into licking range, he delved in, his tongue slurping the juices that pooled in your slit before thrusting his tongue as far as it could go.

the pleasure overwhelmed you, your hand reaching down to thread itself in his strawberry strands. he moaned into your folds, the vibrations sending another wave of pleasure up your spine.

while what you were feeling was nice, it wasn’t enough. keeping your hand in his hair, you began to gently roll your hips against his face, allowing for your clit to rub against his nose giving you much needed friction.

this action seemed to please yuuji immensely, his hands coming up to lift your hips from his mouth to groan, “yes yes yes, fuck my face, use me—fucking shit,” before pulling you back down and devouring you.

you barely stood a chance against yuuji’s talented tongue, the only words coming out of your mouth being profanities and slurred variations of his name. he was enjoying himself too, his hips rutting up into the air while his tongue sucked at your folds.

the knot in your stomach was coiling tighter but you needed one more thing. “y-yuuji, my c-clit— ah ah fuck!” apparently he takes instruction like a champ, his lips moving up to pull your clit in his mouth and sucking hard.

your mouth dropped open in a silent moan while your hand tightened in his hair, your body curling in on itself as you rutted against his mouth to ride out your orgasm. yuuji licked and slurped you to help you ride out your high.

finally, you came down from your peak, your legs feeling like jelly as you pulled yourself off his face before dropping down and lying beside him. after you regained your breath, you tilted your head to look at him, your cheeks burning at the sight of his face covered in your slick and his eyes closed in bliss. you allowed your eyes to trail down his toned body until the rested on his crotch where a damp spot was steadily growing.

oh.

you quickly tore your eyes away from the erotic sight and forced them back up to his, only to find that he was already looking at you with a sweet, content, and almost bashful smile playing on his cheeks. he really was sunshine incarnate and you couldn’t do anything but smile back.

“i enjoyed that,” he started, his eyes finally leaving yours and moving to stare up at the ceiling. “i hope we can do it again. you taste... very good.”

holy fuck, did his voice just get deeper?

you suppressed the urge to roll your eyes back at the sound before rolling on your side and pressing a hand to his chest. he shivered under your touch, his bottom lip being pulled into his mouth to keep a gasp from escaping.

god, he was cute.

lifting yourself up on your forearms, you leaned over to take his lips into a soft kiss, yuuji allowing a sigh to breathe into your mouth. when you reluctantly pulled away, he chased after you making you laugh. he giggled sheepishly at his eagerness as his eyes bore into yours with such heavy emotion that it struck you square in the heart.

oh no. you were so in love with itadori yuuji.

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landinoandco · 3 years

Note

Could I ask for a Max Verstappen request?

Where you get all excited to tell him you’re pregnant and it doesn’t go well. Could you make it super angsty

Of course you can :) here you go, I hope you enjoy!

Max Verstappen x reader

Warnings: angst but with fluff at the end

Word count: 2.2 k

Requests are open...

Baby, the future is ours

At last the summer break had rolled around again, to the relief of the Formula one drivers and crew, they had 3 long weeks ahead of them to fill with whatever they deemed stress-free or relaxing. The subject of activity depending on person to person - most sane folk tended to stick to a holiday to Greece or if you were an adrenaline junkie like Daniel Ricciardo jumping out of planes or BMX biking. You had lost count of the times Max - your boyfriend - had rushed in to tell you about all of the exciting things his best friend had gotten up to as of late.

You and Max had decided to take a break and travel to a cosy, quiet part of Italy - to escape the press, the stress and most importantly the eagle eye of social media. It would just be you and him for a few weeks before reality brought you back to Milton Keynes in the shape of Christian Horner and his motley crew.

You and Max had met in 2018 at a gala event Redbull had hosted, Pierre Gasly - being a close friend of yours - had introduced you two and to say the pair of you hit it off instantly was an understatement, whether it was a mixture of the Dutch meets British humour you had no clue but you weren’t one to complain. A few months later and Max had asked you to travel around the world with him - you did so willingly and life had been nearing perfect ever since. Of course you had your ups and downs, where the universe seemed to really test not only your love for one and other but your patience. A few arguments had shown you that both being hot-headed never ended well.

You were sat out on the balcony, a book in hand and looking out into the Italien countryside. Max had left for a run and to explore the local village, leaving you, your thoughts and your growing baby. You were pregnant - you had taken the test just before flying out, this meant that Max wasn’t aware. You hadn’t told him yet and you had no clue how you were going to. As it turns out telling your partner you were pregnant was easier said than done - ironically.

You and Max hadn’t had the baby talk yet - you had but only along the lines of: “one day, when we’re older and married and driving isn’t the main priority anymore.” Those were Max’s words. He wanted to be there for his child, to watch him or her grow, to see every milestone but most importantly to be a good and nurturing father.

There was part of you that was slightly worried because you just didn’t know how Max would take it - you couldn’t keep it in any longer though. You had to tell him. There was another part of you that was excited - from a very young age you knew you wanted to have a family of your own with the person you loved the most. Call it childish naivety. At this point in time, you were ready to become a mother - well as ready as anyone ever could be.

Placing your book onto the table, you made your way into the kitchen, grabbed a glass and filled it. Sighing loudly as you leant onto the countertop.

“That was a loud sigh.” A voice called out from behind you. You recognised it instantly. Whipping your head around, you saw Max standing there, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

Chuckling, you hit back, “Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

Rolling his eyes, he made his way over to you and wrapped his arms around your middle, placing a sweet, chaste kiss onto the side of your head. Leaning into his warm embrace, you let out another long but content sigh.

“Seriously, what is it with you and sighing today.” Max uttered, his lips still against the side of your head.

You went to move forward, out of his welcoming embrace. You knew what you had to do.

“There’s something I need to tell you.” Instantly the atmosphere changed, you could feel Max stiffen behind you. Maybe the tone you chose to make that comment in was too serious but it was now or never.

“Haha, which of your friends is pregnant this time.” He quipped jokingly, trying to break the tension.

Instantly you knew the way the conversation was going to end, a pang of hurt felt in your stomach. You squeezed your eyes shut, catching your lip with your teeth. He stood there with an air of innocence and unknown, concern dancing in his eyes - he went to reach his arm out to you, to offer that encouragement.

You braved the words that came out of your lips, “Me.” You almost whispered. Time seemed to slow. Max dropped his arm and instantly took a step back.

“Pardon.” Was the only thing he could force out of his mouth, his throat seemed to close up and his hands went clammy. He definitely heard you the first time but he wanted to make sure it wasn’t a night terror. A bad dream he had failed to wake from.

“I am, Max,” You said again, your voice wavering.

“Oh.” He stated, his face drained of colour, his mouth set in a straight line.

“Is that all you have to say.” You swallowed thickly, your eyes swam with tears. You had a hunch this was how it was going to end but it didn’t stop is from hurting the way it did. You had hoped he would have proved you wrong, to have wrapped his arms around you and to have spun you around. To have laughed. To have cried. To have shown a little more excitement to the fact you were now carrying his child. His first child.

You moved past him and sat down on one of the wooden chairs, rubbing your hands over your face. He was still stood there. His eyes fixated on the view out of the window. No emotion read in his eyes. It was almost like you had hit the ‘off’ button. He tapped his foot and made a clicking noise with his mouth before turning around to face you - meeting your gaze.

“How long have you known.” His voice was hoarse.

“A couple of days before we flew out.” You answered him, moving your face back to rest in your hands.

There was a pause. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner.”

You took a breath, looking him dead in the eye. “Because I knew this was how you were going to react.” You didn’t trust your voice at all, you also didn’t know whether you wanted to scream at him or cry in the corner.

“Right.” Was all he said. Still stood there like some awkward teenager after a rather large telling off from their mother.

“Is that all you have to say to me?” You asked him, nostrils flaring. You were allowed to be angry, right?

“What do you expect me to say.” He rounded on you, his voice raising more than was necessary. Tears had spilled down your cheeks, you didn’t have the energy to fight back. As soon as he realised the effect this was having on you, he went to move forward again, his eyes softening instantly. “I’m sorry - I - I shouldn’t have raised my-”

“Get out, Max.” You stated lowly. By this point, you had stood up, shuddering away from his desperate grasp. He knew he had made a mistake. You knew he regretted it, the moment the words had left his mouth.

“Get out?” He repeated quietly, his voice cracking, you could see tears glazing his vision.

“Just - please, go on a walk - come back once you have more to say to me.” You spat.

“But - But I already have more to say-” You cut his rambling off once again.

“Please. Max.” You insisted, your voice betraying you again. “Go.” You whispered.

Max stormed out of the door, ensuring to slam it so hard the chandelier on the ceiling swung precariously. You sank back into your chair and let out a loud sob, unable to hold it in any longer.

Max was mad. Not at you, that would be unfair. He was mad at himself. At the world. At everything actually because at this point why the hell not. You were pregnant - don’t get him wrong, he was over the moon. He was going to be a dad.

It was too soon.

He still had his full F1 career ahead of him. A promising and long F1 career as a matter of fact. He wanted a baby to be his main priority and he wanted to share those one in a lifetime moments with you. He knew there was no point in being mad, it wasn’t like they were in a position where they couldn’t have a child. They had plenty of things to offer, a nurturing home with parents who were head over heels in love with each other and a large family - blood and not - who would be willing to support and love the child as if it was their own. Max really was in love with you. He knew it would be you to mother his children in the end, he just didn’t think it would be now.

He reached for his phone, went into his contacts and pressed on the number that read the name: “D.R new phone.” Whilst it wasn’t adventurous like many thought it would be, it saved the confusion from calling a number that no longer existed.

Daniel picked up on the second ring. “Hey dude, how’s it going?”

“Not good at all, Dan, not good at all.” Max admitted, his voice wavering once again. He explained the events that had happened a mere 5 minutes ago, the way he reacted and the way he left you. Hurt and alone.

“I’m not going to lie to you, mate, you’ve fucked up big time.” Dan spoke after what felt like a loud silence. After all, Daniel knew you just as well as he knew Max.

“I know. I know I have, do you think I’ve been selfish?” He asked, his tone full of raw emotion.

“Yes.” Dan stated simply, “I think you have been, especially since she even told you this is how she thought you would react. How much stress do you think she had been putting on herself? Come one, I’ve taught you to be better than this.” Daniel paused, Max could almost hear him place his thumb and ring finger onto the bridge of his nose. “You know, just as well as I know, she knows it isn’t the best time. Her becoming pregnant is very much a two person job, I think it’s time that you go back to her and have a conversation like the adult I know you are.”

In that moment, Max was so grateful to have someone like Dan just a call away. “Thank you, Dan. Really. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Alright Mr Father-to-be, don’t be going all soppy on me now.” Daniel joked, returning back to his normal teasing. That was the best thing about Daniel, he was quite useful when you needed him to be.

“You can count yourself on being the godfather after that.” Max added, a large beaming smile plastered onto his face.

He heard Dan let out a loud laugh, “Go on, leave me be. Good luck, mate, let me know how it goes and when the time is right tell her I say congrats.”

“Of course, mate. Thank you, again.” Max muttered, looking back in the direction of the villa. After he hung up, he stuffed his hands into his pockets and ambled slowly - working out exactly what he was going to say to you.

Once he had opened the door, he called out to you. “Babe?” He heard a sniffle in response. You were still slumped on the chair in the kitchen, shooting daggers at the cupboard opposite.

Max sat opposite you, reaching out for your hand. Grudgingly you let him take it, you blinked and he took a deep breath before a large, beaming smile crept onto his face.

“We’re going to be parents.” He rubbed the back of your hand, speaking tentatively. You nodded, your lower lip trembled. Max stood up, still keeping a hold of your hand as he gave it a slight tug, indicating that you should stand up. You made your way into his embrace, his arms wrapping securely around you, tucking your face into the crook of your neck as he rocked gently side to side, burying his face into your hair. He then moved his hands to cradle your face, wiping the stray tears away before peppering your face with feather light kisses.

“We’re going to be parents.” He repeated, a little louder and to this you let out another sob, laughing as he picked you up and spun you around.

“I’m sorry. I was being selfish.” He said, as he wrapped you back up into his arms. You smiled into his chest. In that moment, you couldn’t be happier. It was like all of your childhood dreams had come true. In that kitchen stood your new family, mismatched and sometimes a little bit broken but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

#f1 #max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen one shot #max verstappen fanfic #f1blr #f1 2021 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 one shot #f1 fanfic #formula one one shot #formula 1 x reader #formula one fanfiction #formula one x reader #fanfiction #f1 requests

604 notes · View notes

heavenlyhischier · 3 years

Text

only when you're high - rafe cameron

word count: 4.3k

summary: Rafe only ever talks to you when he's high, and you've eventually had enough.

warnings: angst i guess, language, mentions of drugs and alcohol, lil makeout sesh at the end

note: ik this isn't the request but i've been working on this for a while so here ya go <3 this is def not my best writing so dont judge it too harshly

3:53 a.m.

You had been dreaming about your cat taking over a world full of people with fish heads when the incessant ringing from your phone jolted you awake. You blindly flung your hand onto the nightstand, knocking over a half empty water bottle and a bottle of ibuprofen before your fingers grazed the cool screen. You picked up the device, nearly blinding yourself when you opened your eyes to see who was calling you at such an ungodly hour. Once your eyes adjusted to the screen’s brightness, the name ‘Stupid Kook’ was displayed across the top. You hesitantly swiped to answer.

“What in the flying fuck do you want,” You whisper yelled, propping your half-conscious body up with your elbow.

“Hey, baby,” He greeted, his voice dragging as if he was thinking too hard about his words. “Just wanted to hear your voice.”

You stopped breathing for a moment, not sure what you were supposed to say to his weird revelation. You had been having a weird thing with Rafe for a few months now. After many drinks, you would often finding yourself making out with him in a secluded area. Despite your random make out sessions, he had never once called you to simply hear your voice. In fact, he hadn’t even called you before. It was usually always a quick ‘wyd’ text at midnight and nothing more.

“That’s weird, you’ve never called me before,” You pointed out, “You’ve also never called me baby before, so what’s that about?”

“Mm, I don’t know. Always wanted to call you that before so why not? What are you up to, baby,” He asked, his words slurring together in a way that could only happen while under the influence.

“You’re high aren’t you,” You sighed. Of course, he was high. You should have known that from the get-go. Rafe Cameron wouldn’t have called you sober; he never even looked at you sober.

A brief silence hung over the line, Rafe’s heavy breathing being the only thing coming through the receiver. “Maybe a little. Had a rough day, so I went to see Barry and now I’m at Topper’s. Talking to you.”

You couldn’t help but let a small smile grace your features; a smile that was gone almost as soon as it came. You let your elbow fall from its position, your head falling back onto the pillow that was still warm from when you were asleep. “How sweet of you. What are you doing, anyways? Shouldn’t you be getting shitfaced and taking some innocent girl to bed?”

He let out an airy laugh before speaking. “The only one I’d like to take to bed is you, and we somehow always stop before it gets to that point. Anyways, it’s just me, Topper, and Kelce, and I started thinking about us in the back of my truck when we were outside. Before I knew what I was doing, you answered the phone.”

Your cheeks flared red as images of Rafe’s hands exploring your body flashed through your mind, the feeling of his ring on your skin igniting something inside of you. His mouth latching onto the sensitive spots of your neck as your moans filled his truck. You let your fingers ghost over your lips as if you could still feel his own on yours. More memories of him exploring your body in every way but the way you wanted him most were running through your mind. Every time you wanted to give in to him, give in to your urges, but you couldn’t.

“You know, I’ve never wanted someone as much as I want you and I hate it,” He started, his words still slow, “I hate it because you’ll never let me have you.”

“Rafe,” You groaned, running a hand over your tired face, “I don’t really feel like giving myself to someone who only talks to me when they’re drunk or high. Someone who would rather be caught dead than with a pouge.”

“You know it’s not like that, baby. It’s complicated,” He tried, and you could tell there was a hint of unfamiliar panic in his voice.

“It always is. Guess I’ll see or talk to you next time you get fucked up. Goodnight Rafe,” You whispered before hanging up on the boy, ignoring his desperate protests.

1:38 a.m.

You turned the shower water off before stepping out onto the cool tiled floor, water dripping from every part of your body. You chose to ignore the buzzing coming from your phone, moving to grab the towel hung on the back of your bathroom door. However, the buzzing started again as you were drying off your legs.

“Who the fuck,” You groaned as you wrapped the towel around your still wet body. ‘Stupid Kook’ was making a second appearance, much to your surprise. “Yes, Rafe?”

“What’s up your ass,” He laughed his infectious laugh. You could picture him throwing his head back and his glazed over eyes twinkling with amusement, something you had only seen when you found yourself admiring him from afar.

“Nothings up my ass. Just don’t know what your high ass wants this time.” You gripped your phone in your hand and started to walk back towards your room. Your parents had fallen asleep hours ago, so you had to make sure you were quiet. However, that deemed difficult in the darkest hours of the night in your already poorly lit house. You bumped your hip and stubbed your toe on just about anything that was out in the open. Once you were in your room, you hastily shut the door and flipped the light switch on.

“Hello! Hello! Hello! Where are you,” Rafe yelled, making you wince and pull the phone away from your ear.

“Jesus, dude. Calm down, I was walking back to my room,” You chastised, doing your best to hold your phone in between your ear and shoulder.

“What were you doing? I missed you,” He pouted.

You ignored the swelling you got in your heart and said, “I was leaving the bathroom. I just finished showering. What are you doing?”

You grabbed a clean pair of underwear and a shirt you had taken from JJ after you had thrown up over whatever you were wearing that night. Rafe began telling you what he was doing, which was quite literally nothing. However, he quickly dove into a spout of how you were naked and wet and how badly he wanted to see you without any clothes on. Your cheeks were burning as he went on and on about all of the sinful things he wanted to do to you. You let him ramble on a bit more as you turned the light off once you were clothed and ready for bed.

“Okay, that’s enough, Rafe,” You stopped him, pulling your blanket back so you could crawl in bed. “So, calling me two times within a week? You falling in love with me?”

It was so painfully obvious that it was a joke, but you could practically feel the tension radiating through your phone from Rafe’s end. His abrupt silence concerned you because this boy was far from silent when he was doped out.

“Maybe I am,” He finally got out, and you couldn’t detect any sarcasm in it.

“Sure you are,” You rolled your eyes, blaming exhaustion for briefly clouding your judgment, “If you were in love with me, you’d actually talk to me when you aren’t too fucked to remember your own name.”

You started picking at a loose thread on your blanket as you let your mind wander to what life would be life if you had an actual relationship with Rafe. Going to parties with him. Hanging around the Island Club with him and his friends. Him doing lines off your body before having his way with you.

“I will talk to you when I’m not high,” His voice broke you from your thoughts, “If that’s what you really want.”

“I do,” You said way too quickly, “I mean, yeah sure. That would be nice, I guess.”

“Just text me and I’ll answer.” You couldn’t stifle the yawn that escaped your lips, but you did try and hide it from Rafe. Your attempt was no good, though. “You’re tired, go to bed.”

“No, I’m fi-.”

“Goodnight, Y/N,” Rafe shouted over you, “Talk to you soon, baby.”

Rafe’s name popped up on your phone screen every few days after he had gotten drunk out of his mind or too high to do anything other than find your contact. You didn’t mind it at first, but after you had texted him during the day and those messages went unanswered, you grew hurt and annoyed. You had tried asking him why he wouldn’t respond, but he always found a way to change the subject. You wanted to ask him about it in person, but you hadn’t seen him in almost a month. You wanted to ask him why he couldn’t bother to pick up the phone when he was sober, but wasted no time in calling you as soon as he got his bump in.

One of the nights he called, you offered to have him come over because your parents were gone, but he said no. Made up some excuse about how he was staying with Topper for a while since Sarah cheated on him and he wanted to be there for his friend. You understood that, so you didn’t push him after that. Then, the next time you told him about a party everyone was going to and how you wanted to see him there. You even told him to bring the other two. That time he told you he was staying away from parties for a while, wanting to stay to himself for the most part due to the constant stress from his dad. You knew how Ward could be sometimes, so it wasn’t hard to believe him and move on from there.

You wanted to be mad to him for only acknowledging you when he was high, but you couldn’t be. You’ve always wanted to feel wanted by somebody, and he made you feel like that albeit only when he was far gone from reality. You could deal with it as long as you got to talk to him, no matter how insecure it made you. Well, you thought you could.

2:25

Your parents were gone for the night, so you opted to watch Marvel movies in the living room. You were so invested in watching Iron Man and shoving popcorn in your mouth that you didn’t feel your phone go off the first six times. Or the fifteen times after that. Not that you would have cared either way. You knew the only person it could be was the boy who never wanted you sober. The credits began rolling across the TV, so you finally decided to pick up your discarded phone. You were shocked to see Rafe had called you eight times and texted you thirteen. Overall, his texts said the same thing.

Why aren’t u answering me :(

Call me pls

I wanna talk to you baby

It was if he knew you were finally looking at your phone because his contact popped up not ten seconds later. You rolled your eyes, but reluctantly answered.

“Y/N! Where have you been,” He whined into the receiver, “I’ve been trying to call you for like two hours.”

“Watching movies,” Your words were sharp and short, not particularly wanting to talk to him right now. You’ve nearly reached your breaking point with him.

Rafe could immediately tell something was off with you by the way you sounded. “What’s wrong, baby? Are you okay?”

You took a deep breath in, setting your bowl of popcorn on the coffee table after you paused the end credit scene. You leaned forwards and planted your elbow on your knee as you held your head in annoyance.

“I’m fine, Rafe. I’m just getting fed up with you only wanting to talk to me when you’re high or drunk,” You started, “I used to be fine with it because it once every couple of weeks, but now it’s almost every day and it’s annoying. You told me to text you when you’re sober, and I did, but you never responded. I try and offer to come over to you or have you come to me, but you always have an excuse. I know you want to be there for Topper and you don’t really want to be around anyone right now, but that doesn’t mean I have to put up with it.”

“Y/N, I know, and I’m sorry. It’s just-It’s complicated. Please understand that,” He was practically begging you to listen to him.

“Rafey, are you coming back to play beer pong with us,” A female voice suddenly cut through the sudden sound of music.

Your breathing stopped and your heart felt like it was being squeezed by Rafe’s own hand. A wave of heartbreak crashed over your entire body. “‘I just don’t want to be around anyone’ huh? Thought you were just spending time with Topper for a while? You know, if you didn’t want to see me, all you had to do was say so,” You whimpered, hurt now mixing with your anger and annoyance.

“No, wait,” He tried, yelling at whoever came in the room to get out, “Y/N, please. It isn’t lik-“

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. It is like that, Rafe. It is exactly like that. You don’t want to see me, and that is fine. I get it. Why would you ever want to be seen with someone from the Cut? It doesn’t matter, though. Don’t call me anymore. You lied to me. That is not something that I can forgive,” Your tears were too strong to hold back now, “I don’t care for liars, Rafe Cameron, and you’re the biggest one of all.”

You quickly hung up and turned off your phone, throwing it towards the end of the couch so you weren’t tempted to grab it. You grabbed the large blanket from the back of the couch, picked another movie, and let your tears fall as it played in front of you.

“Honey,” Your moms gentle voice broke through, “You fell asleep on the couch.”

You slowly opened your eyes, letting them adjust to the bright light shining through the giant window. The headache hit you like a ton of brinks, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut in pain. Your mom was hovering over you, her hand on your shoulder and her soft eyes pretending to not notice how puffy your cheeks and red your eyes are.

“I guess so,” You mumbled, pushing yourself up into a sitting position, “I’ll go lay down in my room. I’m still tired.”

She gave you an understanding nod with a caring smile and helped you off the couch. Her hand lingered on your back as if she wanted to say something to you, but she decided to leave it alone for now. You would talk to her when you were ready, if you ever were. You gave her a thumbs up when she told you her and your father would be out again most of the day.

Your feet dragged as you stumbled back to your room, using the wall to keep you steady. You pushed the door open with your foot and gave your cat, who was laying on your bed as if she owned it, a stupid smile. You fell onto the bed and pulled her onto your chest as you turned your phone back on. You were scared to confront the actions from last night, but knowing Rafe, he probably wouldn’t have bothered to even send you a text about it. You were quickly proven wrong the moment your phone turned back on. The vibration from all of the texts, voicemails, and snapchats felt like it lasted for five straight minutes. Nearly all were from the boy you wanted nothing to do with. Although, you noticed a voicemail from Topper, who you forgot even had your number.

Um, hey its Topper. Look dude, I don’t know what happened, but Rafe is freaking out like a bitch right now. He keeps mumbling shit about how he fucked things up with, which I didn’t even know you two were a thing but whatever I don’t really care. He kicked everyone out of my house and has been calling and texting you for like thirty minutes straight now so please call him back, so he shuts the fuck up. If not for him, do it for my sanity before I kill him. Uh, yeah, thanks, bye.

You sighed deeply after the voicemail cut off, your heart rate increasing at the thought of Rafe being upset. If he was bad enough that Topper of all people called you, you knew it was bad. You wanted to not care because of how he made you feel, but you did. You’ve always cared about the blond boy more than you cared to admit. You finally decided to look at the messages he sent you.

Y/N pls call me back

I’m sorry its not what it looks like and I know that sounds stupid but its true

Pls talk to me. I need u to talk to me

I promise that I never wanted to hurt u ok???

I love you, Y/N. Please call me or I’m coming to your house tomorrow.

The world stopped spinning when you read the last message. You kept reading it over and over again as if you misread it the first time. Rafe had never been any kind of affectionate with you until he called you baby. Rafe Cameron was not someone known to get emotional, so you weren’t sure if you believed his words. He was a liar and would do anything to get what he wanted, so what was different now?

You heard a knock on the door followed by your moms muffled voice, but you were too focused on the situation in front of you to notice who it was. Your eyes were glued to the screen, staring at the three words you never thought anyone other than your family and friends would say to you. The world around you was fading away, your heart feeling as if it was going to beat out of your chest as tears slid down your still puffy cheeks. You weren’t going to let him do this to you. You weren’t going to let him toy with you anymore.

“Y/N,” A deep voice dragged you out of your subconscious.

Your eyes darted over to the door and saw the last person you wanted to see. Rafe was standing there, his eyes wide and blood shot and he looked like total shit. His hair was a wild mess, nothing like its usual tamed state. You met his gaze and you wished you hadn’t. One look from him and you were puddy in his hands. One look and every thought you had about never seeing him again flew out the window.

“Hey, can we talk,” He mumbled, his bright blue eyes looking everywhere but at you. “Please.”

Not trusting your words, you gave him a swift nod and gestured to the spot next to you on your bed. You leaned to the side and placed your cat on the ground, watching as she rubbed herself all over Rafe’s leg before scampering away. His walk to your bed was painfully slow, and you wanted to tell him to hurry up, but you knew that was unreasonable.

“What do you want, Rafe,” Your voice was harsh, trying to ignore the urge to reach out to him. “What do you want to talk about? How you only use me for your own pleasure? How you only ever even look at me when you’re drunk or high? How you lied to me? Wanna talk about that?”

Your anger surprised even yourself. One second you wanted to hold him in your arms and comfort him, but then the memory of how he treated you came back and flipped a switch in your brain. You don’t know how you feel and you hate it.

“I deserve every bit of your anger,” He breathed out, letting his hand fall dangerously close to your own, “But please let me explain everything to you, okay?”

“Fine,” You gave in, “Talk.”

“Yeah, thank you, okay. I really do want to talk to you when I’m not absolutely fucked, I do. I know that it doesn’t seem like that, but its true. I just, I can’t. Every time I look at you, think about you, I hear my dads voice screaming at me that I will never be good enough for anyone. I have this thought drilled into my head every day that no matter what I do, who I am, I am just never enough. To me, you’re no exception to that. In fact, you remind me even more. Wait no.”

Rafe rubbed both of his hands over his face and tugged at his hair, afraid that he’s already fucking this up. “Rafe,” You gently spoke up, turning to grab his hands from his face. “It’s fine. Keep going.”

His eyes met yours and you could see how strained he was. There were too many emotions swirling in his eyes for you to pinpoint exactly what he was feeling. “Okay, um, okay. To me, you are way too good for me, so the only time I feel comfortable talking to you is when I’m high. I’ve never had trouble talking to any girl before, but you’re more than that to me. You’re more than just some girl to me and it scares me, so I feel like I have to be, yanno, not me. When I talk to you. I want to be with you more than I have ever wanted to be with someone in my life”

Your hand was still holding his as you let his words sink in. Him revealing how his dad truly made him feel made your heart ache for him. It made you want to grab him by the face and tell him how he is more than good enough. You wanted to let him in, but you weren’t sure if you were ready for the risk that came along with it. You’re not sure if you want all the things that came with being with Rafe Cameron. He’s followed by hurt and lies, and you do feel guilty thinking that, but it’s been proven true countless times.

“Rafe, listen to me,” You began, moving so you were straddling him and holding his face in your hands. His hands immediately came to grip your hips, and you are well aware that this was a more than compromising situation. “I understand that your father is probably the worst person we both know, but that doesn’t excuse you lying to me. I don’t know if I can trust you, no matter how much I may want to.”

You watched as tears gather in his eyes, and he was doing his best to keep them at bay. He had never felt the way he feels about you before, and he’s more than aware that his reputation precedes him. He knows that he’s done nothing more than prove how untrusting he is to you, but he wouldn’t let that stop him from trying to prove to you that he means what he’s saying.

“I know that nothing I say will fix what I’ve already done. I know that, but I can show you just how much you mean to me, if you’ll let me. We can go at your pace. Do things your way. Just, please, give me another chance to prove myself to you.”

You’re searching for any detection of a lie in his eyes, in his voice, but you come up empty. You wipe away the stray tears that broke through his wall of protection. You hesitantly placed your forehead on his, and you could hear him take in a sharp breath at the connection. Your eyes fluttered closed, your nose brushing against his as you weighed all of your options.

“Did you mean what you to me? In your last text,” You whispered, too scared to open your eyes and look at him. “Do you actually love me?”

“More than you know,” His breath was hot against your chin, and he pulled you closer into him.

You decided to take a leap, dive into something that scared you more than anything. Your lips finally met his, and Rafe wasted no time in returning the feeling. Your hands fell from his cheeks and clasped each other behind his neck, while his hands stayed placed on your hips, too scared to push you too far. You deepened the passion filled kiss by pulling him closer to you and running your tongue across his bottom lip. Rafe’s lips moved in such a sensual way that you almost didn’t know how to react. It was much different from the lust filled kisses you’ve shared in the past. You started moving your hips on top of him, an action that had him gripping your hips tighter than before.

Y/N,” Rafe breathed out after he broke away from you, “If you don’t stop, I don’t know if I can control myself.”

“Then don’t.”

i have not edited this so if you see a mistake lmk. love u

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #drew starkey #drew starkey imagine #obx #obx imagine #outer banks #outer banks imagine

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