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bangtanflirt · 1 year

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Not Like Other Girls (Part 1 of 2)

mainly angst, with some smut and fluff sprinkled in

Best friend Jungkook x Fem Reader, Hoseok x Fem Reader

NSFW. 18+

Part 1 > Part 2 (FINAL)

Premise: Jungkook’s been your best friend since forever, and he loves that you’re “not like other girls,” as he puts it...so what happens when you decide you want to be like other girls?

Warnings: sexism, slut-shaming, manipulative friendship, Jungkook and some other idols are just overall misogynistic assholes in this (all a work of fiction obviously, no way meant to represent these idols’ real life personalities), internalized misogyny, slight smut but it’s mainly just making out, talks of sexual activity

____

Jungkook first entered your life in third grade, when you were nine and he was “almost ten,” as he put it. He slipped into the role of your best friend pretty seamlessly, sharing his crayons and snacks with no one else but you. When middle school came around, Jungkook found his first love: the PlayStation his parents gave him for his thirteenth birthday. Soon, your days of playing pretend turned into gaming sessions instead. Once he showed you how to play, you caught on pretty quickly. He’s always been a better gamer than you, but you weren’t an easy opponent either, getting your wins in when his guard was down. You would revel in the pout he had every time you would beat him, his competitive nature unable to accept the loss. He only got more competitive as you entered high school and began to seek out others who were more on his level, which you didn’t exactly mind since you’ve never been into gaming as much as he is. Sure, you liked it as a pass-time, but you’ve never taken it as seriously as your best friend does.

Which is why you were happy when Jungkook met Yugyeom and Eunwoo freshman year of high school. Throughout the four years of high school, the four of you were more-or-less a friend group. “More-or-less” because you weren’t exactly friends with the other two, more acquaintances, but Jungkook linked you to them. Your best friend would still invite you every time he hung out with them, so the four of you were together a lot. However, just because you were physically present doesn’t mean you were part of the conversation. The three men would get lost in their own talks, seldom including you. The only reason it didn’t bother you much was because Jungkook still made sure to set aside time for just the two of you, where you could talk all you want and he would listen intently to your ramblings. These conversations would mainly be over study-sessions, since only you and Jungkook actually studied among the four—both aiming to graduate at the top of your class.

Senior year of high school is when the cracks of your friendship first started to show. It was after a late-night gaming session at Yugyeom’s place (where you did your homework since they said you weren’t needed on the team). Yugyeom’s parents were out of town and he was intent on having all of you raid the liquor cabinet. After the tequila bottle was passed around a couple of times, a good buzz was flowing through everyone. That’s when the topic of girls came up. It’s not like the men have never talked about a girl in front of you before, but it’s always been innocent confessions of who they thought was pretty. That night, however, the conversation turned sour at the mention of the new transfer student—the one that Jungkook had apparently lost his virginity to.

“I don’t see the hype about Nayeon. You can’t even tell if she’s actually pretty or if it’s the layers of makeup at this point.” Eunwoo punctuates with another swig of the bottle.

“I definitely see the hype about Nayeon,” Yugyeom interjects, “I mean…” he finishes his thought with gestures to his chest, causing all the boys to burst into tipsy laughter. You laugh too, wanting to be in on the joke.

“That I agree with, but it’s also not fun if she’s always wearing clothes that show them off y’know? Who knows how many guys have already seen the whole thing at this point, with her reputation. No offense, Kook.”

“That’s valid. I wouldn’t date her, that’s for sure.” Jungkook chimes in.

“Is it really that big of a deal? She just has her own style, like Jungkook always wears all black and those combat boots. I don’t see why it’s a bad thing.”

Eunwoo throws a condescending laugh your way, “It’s because her ‘style’ is literally dressing like a slut, y/n. Guys who want actual meaningful relationships are not going to go for a girl who dresses like that. That’s the kind of girl you hit and quit.”

Jungkook can see Eunwoo’s explanation isn’t sitting well with you, so he attempts to soothe your worries, “Don’t worry about it y/n. You’re not like other girls, so you don’t have to worry about things like that.”

“Not like other girls?”

“Yeah, you’re more like one of the guys. That’s why we’re best friends.” He grins his innocent bunny grin, and at the time that’s enough to appease you. It must be a good thing to not be like other girls, you thought, since it got you such a good best friend.

However, you are currently in college and those initial cracks are threatening to crumble down the entire foundation of your friendship. Yugyeom and Eunwoo got into different colleges from you two, so it’s back to just you and Jungkook; however, it’s not the same as before. Jungkook is still the same, spending his days at the library studying and nights in his dorm gaming. You, however, aren’t the same. The summer before this year has been the first summer you and him had spent apart since you became friends, with you going to see your cousins in another state. Growing up, you’d never met your cousins due to your mom’s rocky relationship with your aunt. However, the two of them making up gave you the opportunity to finally meet that side of the family.

The first couple of days were not fun, with you missing Jungkook and also realizing your cousins, Eun-bi and Sol, were the exact type of girls him, Yugyeom, and Eunwoo would look down upon. Their crop tops, short skirts, and dramatic makeup severely put you off at first…but at some point during the trip, you just couldn’t resist. They looked like they were having so much fun, and you wanted to have fun too. So you asked if you could tag along their shopping plans, which they agreed to instantly. That was the first time you saw yourself in a dress (not counting the hideous dresses your mom put you in when you were five), and you’ve never felt prettier. You loved the way it showed off your legs and the little bit of cleavage made you feel damn hot. But there was still a nagging voice in the back of your head, knowing the fit was too revealing for Jungkook’s approval. Still, it was pretty and your cousins wouldn’t let you leave before buying it, so you did. The trip was also the first time you’d ever put anything more than sunscreen and moisturizer on your face, copying your Sol’s actions as she taught you how to do makeup.

That starts the beginning of your makeup obsession. Eyeshadow, in particular, becomes like a drug to you. You can’t imagine a time you’ve enjoyed yourself more than when you were doing your eye makeup with Eun-bi and Sol, all while the three of you quoted the romcoms playing in the background.

So, suffice to say, college y/n is not the y/n you were in high school. Although you’re still not confident to wear a dress or do your makeup outside of your bedroom (especially not in front of Jungkook), you’re becoming more expressive about the things you like.

“What are you watching?” Jungkook looks over your shoulder, taking a break from his studying.

“A makeup influencer I’ve gotten into lately. She’s really talented.” You try to sound nonchalant but it’s nerve-wracking to even say that much to him, scared of being labelled in the same category as the girls he’s talked shit about with the other guys.

He raises a brow and your heart falls to your stomach.

“Since when are you into stuff like that?”

You shrug, still trying to seem casual. “It takes more skill than people think. It’s like creating a piece of art on your face.” You hate that you don’t just say ‘it’s fun,’ rather framing it in a way you think he might validate. His face is etched with judgement, but he doesn’t say the exact words he wants to out loud, choosing a different angle to take instead.

“So you’re watching that instead of studying?”

“I already finished my assignments and readings.”

“Just be careful y/n, things like that can easily distract you from your grades.”

“Don’t be overdramatic,” you chuckle, “if anything, video games would be a bigger distraction.”

He doesn’t laugh along, instead giving you a tight-lipped expression and returning to his essay.

Things go on like that for a couple of months, with Jungkook never outright disapproving, but looking at you warily every time you express interest in make-up. Still, you’re determined to make him come around. That’s why you buy two tickets for a beauty influencer convention that happens to land on the Saturday of your birthday. You hold the tickets in front of him with big, eager eyes.

“This is really what you want to do for your birthday?”

“Yep. You don’t even have to get me a gift, just come with me!”

He sighs reluctantly, “Okay, if that’s all you really want.”

You bring him into a tight hug, unable to contain your excitement.

By the time Saturday comes around, you’re practically bouncing off the walls in excitement. Not only are some of your favorite makeup artists going to be there, but you’ll finally be able to talk about your favorite hobby with your best friend. The euphoric feeling is enough to push you into doing something you previously thought impossible: deciding to wear a dress and do your makeup to wear out. It’s the same dress Eun-bi picked out for you, aka your only dress, and a sunset cut-crease look from a palette Sol let you have. You look in the mirror with a newfound confidence, elated that Jungkook is making an effort to accept this new you.

Unfortunately, all your excitement washes away the second you open the door to Jungkook’s dorm and see Yugyeom and Eunwoo. “Happy Birthday!” The three men cheer in unision, with Jungkook holding a cake. The dorm is filled with balloons and decorations, and the gesture would be sweet if you didn’t know what it was about to lead into. After the initial cheers, the men take a moment to take in your new appearance. Jungkook’s eyes go wide and the other two start whistling and hollering.

“No one told me the theme for the party was Playboy” Eunwoo laughs.

“Damn y/n, I forgot you had tits!” Yugyeom adds.

Jungkook intervenes, still processing the situation himself, “No teasing the birthday girl! Y/n wait here while I get you one of my sweaters, it won’t be comfortable to game in that.”

“Game? Aren’t we going to the convention?” Your eyes threaten to water but you do your best to hold composure.

“We can go some other time. Besides, you only have two tickets, right?”

“It’s only for tonight, I don’t know when the next one will be…I can see there’s last minute tickets on the site…” you hate how meek your voice is.

Jungkook shakes his head dismissively, “It’s okay y/n, Yugyeom and Eunwoo are only here until tomorrow so we should get our gaming session in before they leave—since it’s something we all enjoy!”

“Convention?” Eunwoo questions.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it” Jungkook laughs off, setting the cake down and ushering everyone to the couch. But you don’t follow. He planned this, you realize.

“You guys go ahead, I think I’m going to go to the convention alone.” You don’t give anyone a chance to react as you spin on your heel and practically run out. Jungkook follows your trail, turning you to face him once you’ve stopped outside the residence hall.

“What’s gotten into you?”

“I just really want to go to this convention.” You’re voice is shaky, the kind of tone you get when you’re trying not to burst into tears.

“Don’t you think you’re being a little much? They moved around their schedules to come see us, and I spent the whole day blowing up all these balloons and decorating the place. I even got your favorite cake!”

“I appreciate it Jungkook, I really do, but you knew how excited I was to go to this convention. It’s all I talked about since you said yes.”

“I just don’t think you’re going to have as much fun as you think you will there.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“C’mon y/n, this isn’t you! You’re not someone who wears skimpy dresses or smears all that shit on their eyes! I just don’t get why you want to be one of those girls all of a sudden.”

There it was, the words he’d been holding back, finally out in the open. You are now one of those girls to him. Girls he doesn’t deem worthy of respect. Something stronger than sadness bubbles inside of you: rage.

“Go to hell, Jungkook.”

You see his eyes go wide, “Excuse me?”

“I said go. to. hell. I’m going to go celebrate my birthday the way I want to, alone.”

You walk away, leaving the man with an incredulous expression.

The uber ride is tense, with you trying your best to hold back the tears. It sounds ridiculous, but you’re too proud of your eyeshadow to ruin it like this, so you put sadness on the backburner and let rage take center stage. You’re livid and you’re not going to give in this time. You’re going to go to this damn convention and have the best birthday ever, without him.

___

The venue is brightly lit, with lines of people waiting for different booths. Your mood brightens up at the sight of your favorite makeup gurus meeting and greeting fans, quickly finding a place in line. The convention is everything you want: live makeup tutorials, goodie bags with samples you’re eager to try, and getting your picture taken with people you admire. Despite the shaky mindset you entered with, you’re genuinely having a good time by yourself. One of the influencers even agrees to record a video saying hi to your cousins, which you know Eun-bi and Sol will love.

It’s an hour in when you meet Ara, a girl waiting to get food in the same line you’re in. She’s insanely pretty, the kind of girl you’d be too intimidated to talk to if she hadn’t initiated the conversation with a “I absolutely adore your eyeshadow!!”

It’s a simple compliment, but it means so much in that moment. You think that’s where the conversation will end but, to your surprise, she keeps talking, asking you about what booths you’ve been to and your favorite things so far. Before you know it, the two of you are gushing about your favorite influencers and makeup looks. You stick to Ara for the rest of the time, admiring how she effortlessly commands a room. Her flowy white skirt and light pink bralette make her look like a fairy from a garden party, not to mention the glowing skin and shimmery eyeshadow. She looks so pretty that you can’t believe she’s also nice—but, fortunately for you, she is.

It’s when you mention that you’re here for your birthday that she pipes up with even more enthusiasm.

“Omg, it’s your birthday?! I’m hitting up a frat party with friends after this, you should totally come!”

Part of you winces at the use of ‘omg’ and ‘totally,’ thinking back to how the guys would say that was bimbo-talk. But you push those prejudices down, focusing instead on the very nice girl in front of you.

“Are you sure that’s okay? I wouldn’t want to intru—”

“We’d be glad to have you! If you vibe with me, you’ll vibe with my friends in no time.”

So you nod, happy you decided to come out tonight. At the very least, you have a new friend. A female friend who happens to go to the same college, nonetheless.

___

Ara leads you into the frat house, holding your hand so you don’t get lost in the crowd of bodies. You tell her how this is you’re first time ever going partying, and she assures you of how fun it is if you’re with the right people. The two of you stop at a decently sized circle of people at the corner of the main room, Ara swings her hand around your shoulder and introduces you to the bunch.

It’s a mix of guys and girls, all who look like they came straight from a modeling gig. She tells you their names one by one, saying the name ‘Namjoon’ extra sweetly. “That one’s my boyfriend” she winks, and the dimpled man waves at you. “The one next to him is Hoseok. He’s Namjoon’s best friend. Hoseok’s actually a member of Beta Tau Sigma.”

“Ah, nice party” you say awkwardly, caught a little off-guard with the way he’s looking at you. It’s not a look you’re used to getting…one of lust.

“I think it just got a little better” he remarks with a confident smirk.

You don’t miss the looks he throws your way the entire night, as if to send signals. You know he’s flirting, but you also don’t know how to flirt back. That changes after alcohol enters your system. It’s only two shots, just enough for a happy buzz, but it increases your confidence dramatically. You don’t know when you make the initiative to dance with the handsome man, but pretty soon his hips are grinding expertly against your ass. The rest of the group cheers on, waving their drinks in the air in support.

Normally, you’d avoid a man like Hoseok. He seems like the kind of guy Jungkook would tell you to stay away from: the fuckboy who’s only after your body, and will break your heart after he gets what he wants. But right now, you don’t care. Jungkook’s already broken your heart, so there’s not much Hoseok could do to hurt you. Not to mention how nice it feels to be desired, for a change. If the boys could see you right now, you’re sure they’d think of every synonym of ‘slut’ in their head, but his hands feel too good on your waist for you to care.

“Wanna chill in my room for a bit?” His breath tickles your ear, voice deep and breathy.

You nod, interlocking your hand with his as he leads you up the stairs. Ara slaps your ass as you pass by, yelling “Go tap that, y/n!” over the blaring music.

His lips are on yours the moment you enter his room, diving in like you’re the most delicious thing in the world. It’s not long before you’re on the bed together, his body pressed to your side as his lips latch onto your neck. You let out a moan when his teeth graze a sensitive spot below your ear, making him attack the area even more fervently. You feel a hand on your chest, groping you over the dress.

It’s too much. You’re not comfortable. But you also don’t know how to say you’re not comfortable without ruining the mood. It’s a warzone in your head when his hand starts going up your thigh.

Maybe I should just go along with it.

I’m overreacting.

It’s just sex.

People do it all the time.

Don’t ruin the mood.

Hoseok notices the lack of moans, pulling away to look at your face, which looks too lost in thought for his liking. “Hey, are you good? Do you wanna keep going?”

You nod but he’s not convinced.

“You don’t seem sure.”

“I’m sure” you lie.

“That was the most unconvincing ‘I’m sure’ I’ve ever heard.”

Your face grows red, embarrassed that he could see right through your façade of confidence.

“Sorry” you mumble, eyes looking down to avoid his.

“Don’t be, it’s cool. I just don’t wanna do anything if you’re not fully into it.”

His words throw you off. This isn’t what Jungkook told you guys like him are like.

“C-can we still make-out? Or it’s totally cool if you want to find someone else! No worries!”

He chuckles in amusement before diving back in to meet your lips, this time keeping the whole vibe more PG-13—aka less groping and more intertwining his fingers in your hair. Surprisingly, Hoseok stays like that with you for the remaining duration of the party. You were sure he’d get bored of it soon, as it’s far tamer than what he’s used to, but he doesn’t. Even more of a surprise is what you two do when you’re not locking lips…talk. Just talk, about everything and anything.

“There’s no way you’ve taken a nap in every building on campus!”

“It’s true! Ask Namjoon! I text him post-napping selcas after every one,” he says with pride, making you burst out into laughter.

The rest of the night is filled with the same banter in between kisses, until you tell him you should probably go back to your place.

“Do you need a ride home? I only had one shot since I was hosting, and that was hours ago. I’m good to drive if you need.”

“Um yeah, actually, that’d be great.”

When the car stops in front of your residence hall is when you ask the question you’ve been debating on whether or not to ask the entire ride.

“Is it lame if I ask what tonight makes us?”

He’s not giving you a judgmental look like you feared, smiling warmly instead.

“I was thinking we could be friends.”

“Friends who make out?”

“If you want that then yeah. Or just friends is cool too. I really like talking to you y/n.”

“I really like talking to you too, Hoseok…and making out with you too.”

“Well then it’s decided” he winks.

___

Monday comes around and you’re heading to the library when you run into two of the girls Ara introduced you to: Jennie and Jisoo.

“Y/n! Come sit with us!” Jennie calls, motioning towards a spot next to her on the library’s lawn. You make your way to them, saying your hellos and how are yous.

“What are you working on?" Jennie questions, in between perfecting her lipstick.

“I’m writing a paper for my child development class.”

“Ooh interesting, so are you like an education major?”

You nod.

“That sounds fun. We’re both in neuroscience..aka we hate ourselves.” Jennie jokes, causing Jisoo to giggle. Your prejudices are once again put in check when they mention their majors.

The three of you get to working on your respective assignments. You get distracted, however, by your phone buzzing.

Kook: Where are you? We should talk.

You: I’m outside the library.

Kook: I’m omw.

You feel a sense of relief wash over. He texted first. He wants to apologize, surely. So you jump up when you see him, excusing yourself from the girls to make your way over.

What you expect is a string of apologies and him coming to his senses, what you get, however, is a different story.

“What the fuck y/n.”

You look at him puzzled.

“I can’t believe you fucking ditched us to spread your legs for Jung Hoseok.”

“Jungkook what are yo—”

“Save it, everyone from that frat party saw you two going to his room together.”

“But that’s not wh—”

“Do you even know how stupid of a decision that was?! Losing your virginity to him, of all people? You know what people say about girls that sleep with Hoseok, don’t you? Were you that desperate for dick that you just threw yourself at the first guy willing?”

Tears start prickling your cheeks.

“Great, I can’t even call you out on your bullshit without you crying.”

“Wh-why are you being so mean?” You manage to squeak out.

“Are you stupid? It’s because I don’t want a best friend who sluts around, obviously. I can forgive you since this is the first time, and I know how manipulative guys like Hoseok can be, but only if you go back to being the y/n that I kno—”

“Or we can stop being friends” you interrupt, defeated.

He stills, body freezing at your words. “What?”

“I’m tired, Jungkook. I’m tired of all of this. Let’s just stop.”

“Y/n—”

“Bye Jungkook.”

You wipe your tears and go back to sit with Jennie and Jisoo, feigning ignorance when they ask what’s wrong.

____

A/N: Thank you for reading! Hope your day is going well <3 Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated!

#jungkook x reader #hoseok x reader #bts angst #bts smut #bts x reader #hopekook

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yoonia · 2 years

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slow dancing ● chapter x

➬ Title | Slow Dancing: a mini series

➬ Summary | When your countdown appeared on your wrist right on the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale.

↳ Pairings | Jungkook x reader / Namjoon x reader

↳ Genre | Soulmate!au, Second Chances!au, Angst, Eventual Smut

➥ Ratings & Warnings | +18 / M for Mature; mentions of alcohol consumptions/hangover, implied/depiction of a one-night-stand, possible infidelity, implied smut, sexual tension.

➥ Word count | 11,6k words

➥ Chapter List | Glossary | ⤎ Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ⇢

➥ Masterlist

chapter x. save your love

Something feels different.

Jungkook can sense it even before he opens his eyes. Even the fog that seems to fill the crevices in his head can do nothing to stop him from noticing how foreign everything around him feels.

The warmth enveloping him.

The soft touch of sheets under his palms.

The thick, plushy pillows where his head seems to be resting on.

The feminine scent of perfume that seems to be wafting through the air around him, gently breezing past him like delicate hands teasing on his skin.

As he slowly finds the strength to open his eyes and force himself to wake up, Jungkook’s eyes flutter open to the warm morning sun greeting him from the open windows. As he stretches out his sore limbs, little by little, the remaining haze of his sleep is lifted, and he stops moving as he is immediately met with an astounding sight of his surroundings. His eyes grow wide the moment he realises that he has indeed fallen asleep in a completely different bedroom, lying on a different bed, with windows on the opposite side of the walls that are nearly twice as big as the ones that he has been looking out of since he had gotten on this island. He looks around, and everything that he is seeing officially confirms that he had not been sleeping in Yugyeom’s room.

His heartbeat begins to race in a state of panic, not knowing where he is. And while he rarely ever had any experience of waking up with a hangover or having any piece of his memory missing after spending the night out drinking, Jungkook quickly finds that he has no clear idea of what had truly happened last night. The last thing he remembers is sitting at the bar with Tasha, the one person he would have never expected to meet in such a place.

They haven’t met each other even once after their first and last encounter at Bovine months ago, yet it certainly felt as if they had been old friends the moment they started to talk to each other. Last night, they spent hours sharing drinks, exchanging stories, and laughing at the things they found astounding from any topic that they brought up while admiring the serenity that they found from spilling their thoughts about the universe and the lives of all human beings who are living in it.

Sitting up on the bed, Jungkook finds himself still wearing last night’s clothes. The faint headache that has come up when he was trying to move easily fades as he leans back against the headrest, though he still feels as if his entire energy has been depleted after all that drinking last night that he refuses to make any other move despite the urge to investigate further to find out where he is.

Letting his head fall back, he closes his eyes, trying to regain his memory and figure out just how he had gotten here. It is then when he hears someone knocking at the door. He barely has the chance to open his eyes or to even respond when the door opens and the slow movement happening at the door catches his attention.

“Knock, knock.”

Jungkook quickly turns to the doorway, blinking rapidly when he finds Tasha standing there while leaning against the door frame. Wearing simple clothing—a plain white T-shirt over a pair of pastel-coloured leggings, which is a complete contrast to the dress that she had worn last night—she looks refreshed, ready to start the day. And she also looks completely unaffected by the drinks that she had last night.

Jungkook’s eyes fall on her exposed wrist. The sight of the purple hydrangea tattoo appearing on her skin reminds him of the conversation that they both had last night. His eyes are still on her wrist when she raises her hand, lifting the mug that she has been carrying with her to cover the bright smile showing on her face. Her eyes seem to glint under the sunlight, clearly looking amused at what she is seeing, and her eyebrows are raised as she watches Jungkook silently trying to piece everything together. The frown he is wearing on his face clearly shows just how much he is struggling to do so.

“Wake up, sleepyhead. Don’t you even think about going back to sleep now,” Tasha greets him, finally snapping him out of it.

“What—” Jungkook straightens up further and glances around. “What happened last night? Is this your place? How did I get here?”

Instead of answering him, Tasha merely smiles at him. “Why don’t you freshen up first and then we’ll talk over breakfast? Or coffee? Do you drink coffee?” Jungkook absently nods while still looking like a lost puppy, so Tasha simply continues to talk. “Go take a shower. The bathroom is over there,” she says, pointing at the door on the other side of the room which seems to be leading to the ensuite bathroom. “I’ll have everything ready and have someone fetch you some fresh clothes to change into once you’re done.”

Jungkook opens his mouth to respond, but misses his chance to say anything when Tasha has already slipped away from the door when he turns to find her again. Deciding that he wouldn’t be getting any answers by staying put on the bed that feels almost too comfortable for him to lie on, he rushes towards the bathroom to freshen up, taking his time with it until he can finally find some clarity.

Even if he still can’t remember a few things from last night which had led him to end up in Tasha’s place. And in her bed, nonetheless.

He finds the clothes just as promised when he finally steps out of the bathroom, all prepared for him on the bed. The dark-coloured shirt and pants seem to fit him suspiciously well, but he chooses not to think much about it as he walks out of the bedroom. On his way to find Tasha, Jungkook looks around and soon finds that he is in a loft that looks like a part of the resort where he had been spending his night, judging from the familiar view of the beach and the ocean that he can see through the windows. He follows the scent of brewing coffee to find Tasha getting busy in the kitchen, surprising him as he sees her cooking on the stove herself instead of having her staff do it for her.

“Go take a seat. I’ll be ready in a minute,” she calls out to him while moving fluently around the kitchen, fetching him the coffee that she had made like a pro. “I have no idea what kind of coffee you’re into so I made a light one. I’ve put some extra cream on the side if you want some more.”

Jungkook takes the mug filled with coffee and turns away, deciding to take a look around rather than sitting idly by as he feels too restless to do so when he has a ton of questions running inside his head. He finds the living room looking homey and comfortable, a sign that she has been using this place quite often as her personal living space. He walks past the large-sized television hanging on one wall before stopping in front of a drawer nearby where he finds a few framed pictures being placed on display.

Looking at them makes his chest grow tight. He sucks a deep breath to ease the pain, though it seems too hard for him to do so when he only remembers how this setup reminds him too much of what he has back home—how you have decorated his living room in a similar way, with a low drawer full of trinkets holding various framed pictures on top that documented his entire life together with you.

Shaking his head, Jungkook focuses back on the pictures in front of him and starts to look closer into them. Most of them seem to have been taken while Tasha was travelling to different places as they are showing Tasha posing in various locations—either somewhere in South Korea or abroad—while some others are showing images of her with her family and friends. Then he stops as he finds a wedding photo placed near the center. The picture is showing a man wearing his wedding suit while smiling broadly with his arm wrapped around a younger woman who appears to be his bride pressed onto his left side. On his right, held under his other arm is Tasha, who is smiling warmly into the frame while she keeps her hand on the man’s chest as she stands politely close to him.

“Is this your family? I don’t recall you ever telling me that you have a brother,” he starts asking before he can stop himself. For a moment, he gets nothing but silence, until Tasha’s voice comes startling him once she has moved to stand next to him.

“That’s because I don’t. I’m an only child,” she says.

“Then, who are these people?”

Reaching out to pick up the photo, Tasha releases a soft sigh. “Oh, he’s my soulmate. But he’s married to someone else,” she easily says to him, catching him by surprise that he snaps his head to look at her with wide eyes, only to see her smiling back. “That’s his wife on his left. The photo was taken on their wedding day.”

Seeing that Jungkook is left too stunned to speak, Tasha softly laughs and places the framed photo back in its previous place before wrapping her hands around his arm to pull him away. “You’re in shock. I get it. Why don’t we sit down, have some breakfast and coffee so we can get rid of that hangover of yours while we talk? I’ll tell you everything about them.”

“You’re being too quiet.”

Jungkook looks up from his second cup of coffee—light, a bit sweeter and with extra cream, just like how she had suggested for him to take since she only makes strong ones—and returns Tasha’s gaze.

“You can probably see that I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything,” he says to her after a beat of silence and once he realises that he had barely touched his meal despite feeling the hunger ever since he woke up earlier. With a sigh, Jungkook decides to be honest and share what he has been thinking. “I have so many questions that I don’t know just where to start.”

Tasha nods and places her own mug of coffee down on the table. “Well, I can begin by telling you that nothing happened between us after we finished our last drink. You were drunk, not to the point that you blacked out because of it, but enough to make it hard for me to drag you home. I had Hyuk, the bartender, helping me to carry you out of the place safely, but then you refused to go home. You kept telling me that your friend wouldn’t be home and you refused to tell me his address, so I figured it would have been easier for me to drag you here instead since we’re only a few floors down.”

Jungkook has suspected this but still grimaces as he imagines the chaos that he had created. “I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble.”

Tasha waves her hand. “Oh, it’s fine. I already got something good out of it, at least. Consider us even,” she says to him with a wink and an elated smile taking over her face, while Jungkook’s face feels warm when he remembers seeing the aforementioned bartender from last night walking out of another bedroom merely moments before Jungkook sat down at the dining table. The man looked freshly showered and was refusing to join breakfast, saying that he needed to get back to work before his boss would scold him for slacking off. Though the man didn’t leave before kissing Tasha right on the lips one last time and promising to return for the night once he is off the clock and if she ever needs his company.

Jungkook has no idea how to feel about knowing that his new female friend was having a fling coming by while he was passed out right next door. But the bartender didn’t seem to mind it, nor did he seem to care about Jungkook’s presence in the room at all, and Tasha did apologise for taking the chance to have fun while he was out of it. At least the revelation had allowed him to breathe a sigh of relief, as it had confirmed everything that Tasha had just told him, that he truly hadn’t done anything stupid while he was crazy drunk.

Jungkook turns his gaze around the room to find the photo that he had found earlier, placed right at the spot where it would be visible even from the distance. “You and your soulmate—” he begins to question her. “What happened between you?”

Tasha raises her pretty eyebrows before her eyes find the very same photo that had caught Jungkook’s attention. A deep sigh slips out of her, though there is nothing more but affection and longing in her eyes when she thinks about the past. “I met Wooyoung in freshman year. He’s much older than I am and was already graduating then. We met during a joint event held between the university that I was studying in and the neighbouring university he was still enrolled in. It was a huge shock for us both when we met, to say the least, one that I had expected, with my timer running out before I stumbled into his path. I don’t really think either of us had been fully prepared for it either, so neither of us knew how to react. And then I found out that he had fallen in love with his childhood best friend who was also present at the time. They had been dating for years already.”

Tasha stops for a moment, taking a deep breath as she recalls the past. There is a faraway look in her eyes. Though, to Jungkook’s surprise, she looks more amused than hurt as she remembers what happened.

“Things were rough right after. Wooyoung and I tried to work things out and figure out how to handle things. You have probably guessed it, but the soulmate bond came to us so strong that it was hard for us to ignore it. But then, soon enough, we both realised that the only reason we were both attracted to each other was only because of the soulmate bond while his first love would always remain to have a special place in his heart,” she slowly adds, smiling softly as the memory returns to her. “We sat down together after we figured it out—the three of us—and had a long talk about our future. They told me about her soulmate, how she had found out on her eighteenth birthday that she had lost him before ever meeting him the moment she saw that her mark appeared immediately after her timer ran out and once the cursive letter showed up on her skin, written in red ink—”

Jungkook flinches and starts to brush his fingers absentmindedly on his own wrist as he remembers his own experience with his soulmate mark. He still remembers that morning as if it had only happened a short while ago. How he witnessed the numbers appearing on his skin, how his breath stilled when he saw how fast the timer had counted down to zero, and how the purple petals bloomed right after, before his soulmate’s initials began to write themselves in red cursive letters. He clenches his hands when he imagines that traumatic event happening to someone else. Someone like the bride in the photo that Tasha has kept between the other memorabilia gracing her home, who he had seen smiling so prettily and kindly to the camera with her eyes glowing in unshed tears of happiness.

When he looks up again, he finds Tasha staring back at him with a knowing look in her eyes, as if she knows exactly where his mind has been wandering to. “Yes, just like yours,” she whispers, nodding at his wrist. “At first, Wooyoung only wanted to stay beside her to support her, to help her deal with her heartbreak and help her get through until she could learn to love someone else. But love bloomed between them during that time. Before they even knew it, they were slowly building their future together. Until the day I came barrelling into their lives. Literally.”

Tasha softly laughs as she describes how she had crossed Wooyoung’s path at the campus festival, how she had tripped and nearly fall before he caught her, the perfect portrayal of how she came into their lives without any warning. Jungkook smiles as he listens to her story before a frown comes to his face. “It must have been rough on you to witness that.”

Smiling softly at him, Tasha simply lifts her shoulders. “It was, at first. But I got over it when I saw how much they were completely in love with each other,” she says, surprising Jungkook further when he sees the deep love in her eyes as she talks about her soulmate and his wife together. “There was never a place for me in their lives, other than what I’ve earned for helping them.”

“I don’t understand,” Jungkook murmurs, tilting his head.

With a sly grin on her face, Tasha leans closer to whisper as if she is sharing a big secret and someone else would be listening in. “You see, I helped them get married,” she says, and her grin grows wider as Jungkook’s eyes widen in shock. “They wanted to elope when their families were against them getting together. Especially when Wooyoung’s family found out by chance that I was his actual soulmate. So I pretended to steal him away from his lover, when in reality, I was flying them both off to one of the resorts that my Dad’s company was partnered with in Fiji so they could get married there. Of course, I had to come with them as an alibi for my absence and to act as their witness.”

“Why?” Jungkook gasps. “Why would you do that?” he questions her, though deep down, he can already guess what her reasoning might be.

Tasha leans back with a low chuckle. “I already told you once, didn’t I? I’m a sucker for romance. I love the whole idea of love, and to the idea of shoving your middle finger to the universe to show them that they are not always right and they don’t always get to decide who we fall in love with,” she says, laughing softly as if she is picturing herself doing it, to put her hand up and show her middle finger to the sky and to the universe that had tried to play around with her fate. “It also helped that Wooyoung was a complete stranger to me at the time and the bond only made me look at him more like an older brother than a possible lover once we got close to each other.”

Jungkook falls silent for a moment. “What did your family think? Your father?”

As he mentions her father, Tasha releases a deep sigh. “My Dad was a tough one to crack, but he was the first person to understand. I’ve always been a Daddy’s girl, being the only child he had ever gotten from his marriage with my Mom. He had wanted to have a son for a long time, but had initially come to love me just the same. As I was his only baby, he did get worried, at first. But I managed to convince him that it was my choice, and by choosing to help the one I was intended to be with to be together with the love of his life, I had somehow proven to him that I was someone who knew my priorities well and that I would know how to take care of the people I came to care about. Just exactly the kind of person he needed to inherit his entire business empire.”

Tasha smiles to herself as she recalls the events happening then, when she remembers how she had defied her own family. “He gave in after I promised that I would make it up by working my ass off to help him with the family business and to never shut away from any possibilities of finding my own life partner who would be good to me in the future once I’m ready for it.”

Once again, Jungkook is silent as he slowly lets everything that Tasha had just shared with him to sink in. Slowly sipping on his coffee, he begins to compare Tasha’s past to his current life. “Is that why you’ve been helping me? The reason why you took me home? Have you been planning to tell me all of this all along?”

Tasha smiles at him. “I took you home because it was what friends do to make sure the person they’re with is safe for the night. But yes, I did have a purpose for taking you with me and I have a reason for telling you all of this. I just want you to see that there is always another way. Another path to choose. We always have that choice, no matter what the world is making us believe when it comes to the silly soulmate system. It’s only a matter of whether or not we are brave enough to take it,” she slowly explains, before leaning closer once again. “I know what you’re doing. You’re giving them space to figure things out, aren’t you? That’s why you’re here instead of staying back there with her while she’s figuring things out.”

Swallowing hard, Jungkook admits how on point her words are and he can only nod to answer, earning a warm, knowing look from Tasha before she explains further, “That’s exactly what Wooyoung’s wife did for us too. She took a step back after she found out that I was his true soulmate, giving him the chance to embrace the universe’s gift—her own words.” Tasha lifts her hands and makes a gesture to depict quotation marks while laughing.

”But, instead of pushing us to be together, the time we had spent together had only helped open our eyes to see just how deep the love that they had truly was when he couldn’t find himself feeling the same deep love for me as what he had already felt for her.”

Leaning back, Jungkook takes a deep breath while taking it all in. Once again, he compares his own situation with hers, placing himself in the shoes of Wooyoung’s wife and thinking back to the reason why he is hiding all the way in Jeju, realising that he is doing the same thing as she did while you are experiencing what Tasha had gone through in the past. He was sure that taking himself out of the equation would help you figure things out and decide what would be best for you without him getting in the way. Except he is no longer sure if staying away for this long had been the best decision for himself and for everyone involved, when no matter how much he had wanted to make sure that you would be able to find your happiness, there is also a bigger part inside him that still insists to fight for you, to believe the words that you had told him about proving just how strong the bond between the two of you would be compared to what the universe keeps forcing on you.

If he wants to be honest, he has been feeling this way for quite a while. Maybe even since day one, when he was standing in Yugyeom’s studio apartment and feeling out of place and lost without you. But he just kept refusing to admit it, denying what his heart had wanted, all because he had also known that he wouldn’t be able to take his words and actions back after what he had done to you on the day he left.

Shaking his head, he accepts his fault for making such rash decisions and he regrets ever ignoring the voice inside his head that had kept telling him to stay and fight with you. Drawing a deep breath, he looks at Tasha and questions her, “How are you so open to this? How can you be so—”

“Amenable? Flexible? Carefree? Wild?” Tasha begins to fill in when he is unable to find the right word to describe her and her actions.

Jungkook grins. “Bold. Forward-thinking. And yes, easygoing, and also for being so open-minded and daring, even when it comes to believing in something that no other people had the courage to put their faith into.”

Tasha laughs softly before looking at him with a sharp look in her gaze. “Because I believe that there are far more important things out there beyond the silly soulmate system that had been created for us,” Tasha says as she pours more coffee into her empty mug, then does the same to fill Jungkook’s while she keeps talking. “It’s not like I don’t truly respect the soulmate system. But, I mean—sure, it sounds promising and completely hard to resist to have the entire universe making sure that we won’t have any problem finding someone to build our entire lives with. It truly is a gift that fates have it in them to make sure that we wouldn’t be alone in this world. It sounds like the perfect way to live knowing that there is someone out there made for us to love and to have our happiness written down for us since we were born into this world, don’t you think?”

“But—?”

“But—” Tasha grins. “Would it really be better and more real compared to the kind of love that we find for ourselves, the one that we would be willing to sacrifice everything for? If the universe can have a choice to play around with our fate—” she stops to give a pointed look on Jungkook’s wrist before continuing, “—then why can’t we have our choice to decide who to fall in love with?”

Jungkook blinks rapidly. All of a sudden, his chest feels tight and heavy when her words seem to strike him deep in his chest.

Because she is right.

And he feels like a fool for forgetting the fact that he had once believed the same thing as well.

All this time, he had always known that he has everything that anyone could have asked for and that he had found it with you. The kind of love that runs so deep that he feels his chest flutter each time he thinks about you. The love that has grown so deep that it becomes the reason why his heart is still beating at this very moment and why he has been hurting ever since the day he walked away. At first, he had truly believed that it would be best for him to step aside, just so you could embrace the gift that the universe is giving you. The gift that he had lost.

But walking away had only made him feel the pain that he has never felt before. Being away from you had only been complete torture. It makes him feel like he is dying inside, how the distance has slowly been chopping up his soul, taking it piece by broken piece that he no longer knows if he would have anything left of himself once the whole ordeal is over.

Once again, as if knowing where his mind is wandering off to, Tasha reaches out to grab his hand and gently says, “What you have with your girlfriend is real. Never doubt that part. I saw it with my own two eyes and I know exactly what I saw then when you were together. Why did you think I made all the effort of helping you with your surprise proposal if not because I believed in the love you had for each other?”

Shaking his head, Jungkook chuckles softly. “You’re right. You really did help me—a lot. And you didn’t even know what my situation was like back then, did you?”

Letting his hand go, she shrugs lightly and confesses, “I may not have seen it back then to know that you were not each other’s true soulmate, but I could sense something special going on between you. Something that was stronger than the soulmate connection that the entire world has been selling us. Call it a hunch from someone who had been there once.”

Jungkook bites his lips as he takes his time to think things over, before curiosity gets the best of him when he wonders how Tasha could be so strong and brave while he has been feeling so powerless against his own ordeal. “Have you ever felt—afraid, for defying fate? You’ve fought against them when you let your soulmate go so he could be with the one he loves, and now you’re trying to help me be together with the only person I’ve ever loved.”

With a light chuckle, Tasha gently shakes her head. “Have I been afraid of doing something so out of the ordinary and to defy the force that would be strong enough to ruin our entire lives under its will? Absolutely,” she admits to him before giving him a smug grin. “But it’s still not enough to make me stop doing it. I’ve always loved watching people chase the love that they choose, to fight for their happiness and get what they deserve. If I have the will and power to do something to help make it happen, I would do so with everything I have, knowing that it makes me feel happy by helping others feel the same thing. It gives me a sense of freedom that could heal my soul. And if that means that I’d be forever fighting against Fate to allow myself to feel this way, then I’ll do it over and over again.”

Jungkook looks down as he thinks deeply about her words, silently wondering if he would ever be able to be just as strong as she does. For the first time, after the day he came to find out that Namjoon was your soulmate, crushing every hope he had ever kept in his mind about having you in his life, he begins to find that missing sparks of hope blooming in his chest. Suddenly, the good faith that he had about his love for you returns full force after he had kept it dormant for the sake of giving you the chance to have what you had once wanted.

Now that the feeling has come back to him, the determination to fight against the universe and to get you back grows stronger. Though it doesn’t stop him from questioning himself—

Can he actually do it?

He keeps asking himself this as he thinks about fighting for his love and rebuilding the life that he has with you once again, no matter what it would cost him. But then he remembers how he had walked out and stepped away from you when you had insisted to make him stay so that you could fight alongside him to prove your love. He thinks about the past week that he was gone, knowing that the soulmate bond would have pulled you to Namjoon in his absence, leaving him to wonder—

Would it be too late for him to return home now and claim you back?

That same morning, you wake up in the same guest bedroom that you have been staying in, feeling so tired and broken.

You had kept the room dark, choosing to keep the lights off and keeping the curtains closed even when the dawn has long broken and the warm sunlight is forcing itself to come in. You cannot remember when you had fallen asleep, as you had found it hard to do so with your mind wandering all over the place while waves of emotions kept rushing through you all night to make you feel restless. The mixture of guilt, sadness, and hope, all collided into one before they all turned into despair before you were finally dragged into the darkness of your slumber only in your exhaustion.

Whatever glint of hope that you felt last night after receiving the call from Jungkook’s brother has now been replaced by self-condemnation and trepidation which keep intensifying each time the events from last night return to you. With a long exhale of sigh, you close your eyes, letting the memory replay itself in your head despite your wish to erase them and forget that they ever happened at all.

“It’s okay. Just give in. I’ll be here to hold you.”

Those were the words that Namjoon had whispered to you after he laid you down on his bed. It was obvious that he could see your fear when you were second-guessing yourself and while you were still trying to make sense of what was going on, and it was clear that he had noticed it as well when the bond between you took its form, as it gave its final effort of putting you both together.

But it was you who had pulled him down to you, and you had been the one giving him the kiss that should have sealed the deal.

You had come so close, just a step away from cementing your bond for eternity and severing the bond that you had built in your old life. You had already crossed the line merely seconds before, the remaining waves of your pleasure were still surging through you to remind you of it and your body was still calling for him. Yet, the moment you took in his scent, breathing in the warmth that was engulfing you in his embrace, something else inside you was shifting, and it was slowly winning, taking control to pull you out of the blinding haze.

And just then, the moment you closed your eyes, you realised that it was not his face that came into your mind. It wasn’t his voice nor his touch that your soul was searching for, and it snapped something inside you which slowly took away the fog that had clouded your sanity.

“Let it in. Let me in, baby. I know that deep down, you already know that this is so right.”

Those were the words that had compelled you into giving in to the bond and the sparks that had been building up between you all night. But right at that moment, as your soul began to cry out for another and started breaking apart inside you, everything about it felt so wrong.

With a sharp gasp, you gently pushed him away, breaking the kiss before it could have the chance to go further. Your heartbeat was still pacing rapidly in your chest, though each thrum was meant for a different reason, and the ache that came barrelling over you had nothing to do with him nor his presence. You had refused to open your eyes just then, unwilling to see the pain of your rejection reflecting in his eyes, something that you had no doubt would find after giving him such hope with what you had allowed to transpire.

And you simply refused to see reality, to know that the person holding you was not the one who you had truly wanted to be there and to have your heart broken once again knowing that he was not there.

But then a gentle brush of a finger on your cheek urged you to open your eyes, and you were surprised that instead of looking at you with disappointment and rage, Namjoon was staring at you with a warm, knowing smile plastered on his gorgeous face. It had taken you a moment and another wipe of his fingers on your face to realise that you had been crying, and that had been the reason he knew what was going on.

That your heart and soul had finally found their resolve to fight against the invisible force that had been taking control over you, and not even the soulmate bond could drown what your heart had truly desired.

And the one that your heart had been calling for was not him.

“I’m so sorry,” you had pleaded with him once reality hit you until your chest grew so tight you could barely breathe. You felt mortified, lost, and disgusted with yourself for allowing things to continue, and for ever giving him hope. And for coming so close to doing something more to severe what you had been trying to protect.

“Sshh—” Namjoon whispered to you, and you blinked your eyes to find him still smiling warmly, his gaze still filled with an understanding look instead of despair or disgust. “It’s okay, baby. I know.”

His gentle words had only made you cry louder, sending you into a sobbing mess as you fell apart beneath him. “I want him back.”

With a sigh, Namjoon continued to brush away your tears. “I know, baby. And he will come back to you. Even if he won’t, I’ll be the one dragging his ass back for making you cry every single night that he was gone.”

“This is—” you choked between your sobs and in the realisation that he had known how often you had cried yourself to sleep for missing Jungkook. You looked away from him, blinking away your tears so that you would be able to speak to him more clearly. Realising how vulnerable and exposed you were the moment the blissful fog faded from your mind, you pulled back and wrapped your arms around yourself, trying your best to cover your body from his eyes. “This shouldn’t have happened. None of this. I’m so sorry for allowing this to—”

“It had to happen,” Namjoon said, tipping your chin up just when you tried to hide from him. He made you look into his eyes, to be able to see that the same fog that had muddled his conscience had also faded from him and that he was able to think more logically now so he could calm you down. “We have both been focusing on the bond—with me who was feeling it for the first time and with you who kept fighting it—until it became the only thing we both felt above everything else. We had to let it happen so that we could open our eyes and see beyond that pull once it fades.”

Despite knowing that his words had been right, the way he said it to you still drew a bitter chuckle to come out of you. “Are you going to talk me out into believing that this was just one of those ‘getting it out of our system’ moments?”

“No, it’s nothing like that.” Namjoon gave you a sad smile before shrugging. “Maybe a little, but more like—” he stopped with a sigh, then reached out to grab a blanket from the other side of the bed which he then used to cover your bareness, wrapping it tightly around your body as if he wanted to keep your warm while protecting you from his roaming gaze. And he did it while he kept on talking, “—allowing yourself to see what your heart is asking for instead of what your body and mind is telling you to do.”

Keeping the blanket wrapped tightly around you, you kept your eyes low as Namjoon shifted away to find his pants and started putting them back on. “I’m so confused,” you whispered weakly to yourself, though it didn’t stop Namjoon from hearing them.

Lying beside you, Namjoon pulled you up until you were resting on his pillows, tucked nicely right next to him where he made you feel safe. “It’s okay to be confused. I know that you are. Honestly, I am too,” he gently said to you with a reassuring smile, one that didn’t truly reach his eyes. “But we’ll figure it out in the morning. I don’t think it would be wise to try and solve everything tonight, after what had just happened.”

You had taken that moment to ponder over his words, to wonder if you could truly believe everything that he was telling you. There was hope for a change simmering within you. Hope for a chance to reclaim the life that you had with the man that you truly loved. And yet the feeling fell short when you remembered how powerless you had been to stop things from carrying on, and how you had put yourself in this position despite your determination to wait for Jungkook’s return.

Namjoon must have felt your worries when he gently pulled you to him. His touch bared no lust when he held you to him, and his smile only offered to give you comfort as he laid down next to you, staying close to offer you his warmth and his company while you were shivering in your uncertainty.

“Stay with me tonight. I promised to hold you, didn’t I? Let me take care of you, _______,”

For the last time.

Those were the words that had been left unspoken, the words that had only made you feel even more guilty, knowing that you had been the one to cause the pain reflecting in his eyes when he pulled you into his arms for one last time, only to keep you safe in his hold until he was supposed to let you go.

Your chest still feels heavy when you take a look around the room. You try to ignore the feeling, however, and focus on making sure that you have everything packed with you and that you wouldn’t be leaving anything behind as you make your leave.

Once you are sure that you are completely ready to step away from this room once and for all, holding your travel bag in one hand and your purse in the other, you realise that you have never felt more resolved than ever, when you finally know what to do next.

Just a week ago, you had walked into this penthouse while feeling lost, dazed and confused from having two strong forces pulling you in two different directions. If only you had known then where to look, perhaps you wouldn’t have found your way here and things might have ended differently.

Much, much different than how things have turned out to be so far.

But you also know that you might have ended up living without knowing the answers to a lot of questions, haunted by the need to wonder about all the what-ifs and what could have been without ever knowing the truth. Without truly knowing what your soul has been searching for.

“You’re ready to leave?”

Namjoon appears in your path just as you walk out the door of your former bedroom. Looking just as weary as you are, he stares at you silently, not looking too shocked to see you packed and ready to go. His eyes fall on the bag you are carrying and his gaze softens for realising what is currently happening.

“I think it’s time. I’ve overstayed my welcome,” is the only thing you can say to him. You look at him a while longer, even if you have no clear idea what you are trying to find. To your reprieve, the pain that you had briefly seen in his eyes last night is no longer present, though you can also feel him putting up a wall when he straightens his shoulders and pushes his hands into his pocket.

Namjoon lowers his head as he smiles, and it is then when you can see a glimpse of remorse and pain flickering on his face, though you see no trace of them when he looks up at you again, all of his emotions are masked underneath the warm smile that he is giving you. Taking a deep inhale of breath, you realise how much it pains you to know that he is hiding his true feelings from you. The fact that he is masking his pain for your sake feels so wrong, but you also know that there is nothing that you can do about it. Not anymore, as you have made your choice and it had been some of the choices that you had made which had put the invisible strain that he is carrying and fighting so hard to hide. Once again, your guilt pinches at your heart, and you want nothing more than to fix things for him.

If only you know how to do it without sacrificing your soul.

Knowing that you no longer have the right to mess with his emotions, you do the only next best thing you know what to do.

“For what it’s worth, I did enjoy my time here with you and I’m grateful that we had a chance to see things clearly before moving on. I guess this way, at least, we’ll be leaving no place for all the questions and the what-ifs,” you calmly say to him, silently hoping that your words will not only be holding some truth in them for yous, but for him as well.

For years, despite thinking and believing that you had somehow moved on from his rejection, you have always known that deep down, you still had questions about what had happened. There had been times when you were up at night wondering about all the possibilities that had come from all the unknowing, while having no answers to help you find some peace in your heart to could actually heal you from your heartbreak.

You only realise now that have never once had the chance to find closure after his past rejection. Until now.

“Thank you for opening your doors for me and for allowing me to stay here. It’s been—” you softly laugh as you try to think of the perfect way to truly illustrate what you feel. “—quite a ride,” you finally say with a low chuckle, and you are pleased that it draws a smile from him too. With a sigh, you carefully add, “But I certainly won’t forget everything that we have shared for the past week, how much you have helped me and the friendship that we have built together. Thank you for your patience and for being so kind to me despite everything.”

Nodding his head, Namjoon seems to come to terms with the situation. Because the moment you find his gaze again, there is a glimpse of relief showing from his eyes. “You know that you’ll always be welcome here. My door will always be open for you whenever you need a place to run to,” he says with a smile, before quickly adding while jokingly, “But I truly hope that you won’t be needing it again so soon.”

Both of you smile and laugh at what he just said, and then his expression changes when he asks you, “I take it you’ve found out where he is?”

“Yes, his brother called me. He’s trying to see if he can help me get to Jungkook,” you reveal to him with a sigh, and you suddenly feel your chest grow tight as you recall the phone call that you had last night with Jungkook’s brother, how he had told you that a friend of his had informed him that she had met Jungkook and was watching over him for the time being.

The call had left you feeling restless, when your relief of finally getting some news of Jungkook’s whereabouts was trampled by your guilt. Though it didn’t stop you from feeling determined to get to him as fast as you can once you had slept on your raw emotions and after you woke up with a clear mind. You still have no idea how Jungkook would react if he ever finds out what you had done with Namjoon, but you would do everything to earn another chance to win him back, and you would do anything to be with the man that you love. You are even ready to spend your entire life making it up to him, as long as he gives you the chance to.

“I can help you with that. Just say the word,” Namjoon offers you, and it almost makes you laugh at the bitter fact that despite the disappointment that he must have been feeling because of you, Namjoon still wants to give a hand to help. Knowing him, there is no doubt that he is genuine with his offer.

With a wry smile, you shake your head. “You’ve done a lot for me already. But thanks for the offer,” you tell him then, looking straight into his eyes right after as you say to him, “I hope everything will go well with you in the future.”

Sighing in defeat, Namjoon gives you a smile and nods. “And for you too.”

Nodding at him, you give him one last smile before walking around him to make your way to the front door. You try your best not to tense up and to keep your chin up as you walk past him, but then he turns and calls your name gently when you are merely a few steps away from the door, his voice stopping you in your tracks.

“Would it have been possible for us to be together back then without feeling like crap?” he suddenly asks you before you even turn around to see what he is up to. Once you look over your shoulder, Namjoon lifts his shoulder in a simple shrug.

“I’m only asking because that’s what I’m feeling right now. It feels like crap because it made me happy that you were here, that I had a chance to spend time with you, to get to know you better, and for me to—” he stops and swallows hard, taking his time to find his words as he looks at you. “I loved being with you, and I know now that we would’ve been good together. But it makes me feel bad that we would have to sacrifice someone else to do so, if we ever choose to go down that route. But I also can’t help to wonder if things would have been the same as what we had this past week if I hadn’t acted like a coward and we had gotten together the way we were supposed to.”

Turning in your heels to get a better look at him, you can only shake your head. “I honestly have no good answer for that since I don’t know what would have happened if things had gone differently between us,” you regretful tell him then, stopping a moment to ponder the thought before speaking again.

“But, you know what? We could have. Maybe we would have fallen madly in love with each other once we gave each other a chance, or maybe we would have grown apart because we haven’t become the people we were meant to be if we had met then,” you say to him with a smile. “And yes, we would have been perfect for each other to the point that we’d make everyone else around us sick at how perfect we are together. But then again, sometimes things just don’t work that way. Not even if the universe had designed it to be.”

You turn to face him completely. If you are going to be absolutely honest with him, then perhaps it would be best to give him the honest truth, giving both of you the final closure that you have both needed to have for years. “That night, when I saw you in that room, I immediately fell for you so hard that it felt like my heart was trampled into pieces for believing that you wouldn’t be mine.”

Your confession seems to surprise him. Namjoon’s eyes grow wide for a brief moment before he smiles and nods at you. “I guess that’s the answer to everything,” he says, confusing you further when he suddenly seems like he has found his own resolve.

“What do you mean?”

When your gaze meets his once again, you find nothing more but clarity glowing in his eyes. “You loved me. You might even still love me now,” he says, giving you the kind of smile that no longer carries his remorse or the pain of having to let go of a huge part of his life that had been written for him. The only thing he shows you when he looks at you is relief, a sense of contentment and acceptance when he says, “But you are not in love with me.”

You flinch a little at this, and he must have caught it, because he immediately adds before you can speak in return, “And that is okay, because what you have is bigger than what we would have ever had since it is something that you have chosen for yourself, not something that had been chosen for you. You and I both know that you have always deserved to have more than that.”

Keeping your eyes on him, you know without any further explanation that he was talking about the soulmate bond, how he can see that you can have something more, just as long as you reach out for it.

For some reason, his words give you comfort. And then your mind wanders briefly to the past, to the younger version of his who had once held so much confidence and belief that he would be more superior than the soulmate bond and whatever fate was planning for him. “You said so then too, remember?” you question him while picturing the image of him standing in the kitchen area in some random fraternity house that you had never once walked into, drunkenly talking about his big dreams in front of his friends and his pretty girlfriend. “Somewhere between your words of rejection and your defiance against the soulmate bond, you had believed in it too. You had said then, in your own words, that there had to be something else beyond this soulmate system that had been designed for us. Something bigger, stronger, and perhaps it would matter more than what the universe wants us to find.”

There is a glint of something new in his eyes—is it pride? Acknowledgement? Or perhaps an understanding that he shares the same idea—when he nods. “And you have found it,” he says with a calm voice.

“I’m sorry,” you start to apologise, only to have him shaking his head.

“You don’t apologise for love,” he says, once again sighing in defeat, before he lifts his chin up. “I do, apologise, however, for not being worthy enough to hold on to you and to fight for us.”

You smile at him. “You are worthy, Namjoon,” you gently tell him.

And you mean it.

But you have given your heart and soul to another, and you are willing to fight to be with that person to the very end of your long journey.

Mr Choi-PA: Mr. Jeon has departed. We got him on the last flight of the day departing for Seoul

Tasha: Good. Thank you, Mr. Choi.

Tasha: You’re free for the night. I have nowhere else to go so I might just return to the loft once I’m done here

Mr Choi-PA: Yes, Ma’am.

Mr Choi-PA: I will be on standby at 7.30 AM to pick you up tomorrow for the meeting with Mr. Lee

With a smile on her face, Tasha types down a few more words of gratitude to send out to her driver and personal assistant before slipping the cellphone back into her purse. The elevator ride ends just then and the door opens to the rooftop bar. The same bar where she had spent hours drinking and sharing life stories with Jungkook just the night before.

After spending most of the day helping Jungkook plan out his return to Seoul, Tasha had joined her father who had come to supervise the resort while she sent Jungkook away with her driver taking care of business for her as he went back to his friend’s place to pack up his things and say goodbye. She is exhausted, drained from being a martyr as she helped a friend defy the century-old system that had been controlling all human beings in their chances of love and from spending the rest of the day going around the resort to deal with its management issues until late.

She feels so drained that there is nothing she wants to do more than to simply return to her loft and lie down in bed. Perhaps she could catch up with some sleep, taking back all the hours that she had lost from having her impulsive runt with Hyuk yesterday night.

But on her way back, she felt the sudden urge to have a nightcap before bed. Only that the idea of having one back in her loft while she is alone at home had sounded so sad. She felt the need to be in the crowd for some reason, even if it is only for the sake of drowning her thoughts with the loud sounds of people chattering and live music playing on the stage, which had been the reason why she made her way back up here before she would retreat for the night.

The bar counter doesn’t seem as crowded as the night before, and she finds no problem in finding an empty seat where she could settle herself into. She looks around, finding Hyuk being too busy tending the VIP guests on the other side of the floor to notice her, so she turns to call out the new bartender servicing the guests tonight to get her fill.

“Martini. Dry,” she immediately orders her usual.

“Do you want to open a tab tonight, Ms. Lee?”

She quickly shakes her head. “No, I’m just having this one before I go.”

One drink to celebrate yet another love story being written in history.

As she takes slow sips of her drink, savouring it instead of downing it so she could find a moment to relax, Tasha pulls out her phone, scrolling down the messages that she had been receiving all afternoon. A smile comes to her face when she comes across the last message that she had exchanged with Wooyoung, when he had let her know that he would be flying in with his wife next weekend for a short vacation while asking if they could meet. She feels excited as she imagines telling Wooyoung and his wife the story of Jungkook and his quest to find love, as the three of them had grown close after their saga that many years ago.

She suddenly feels the urge to laugh when she thinks about how her relationship with her soulmate had evolved over the years. How they have grown to have a sibling-like relationship since then. Even his wife has become a part of it, all because they still care about each other despite everything that had transpired between them.

She continues scrolling, stopping on the message that she had sent to Jungkook’s brother last night after watching Hyuk drop Jungkook in the guest bedroom back at her loft. It had been a relief that she had taken her time to exchange numbers with some of the family members who had attended the dinner party at Bovine that night a few months back, making it possible for her to send the news to Jungkook’s family before she would make sure to convince him to return.

Placing the phone back in her purse, Tasha tries to enjoy the moment, though she cannot help but let her mind wander off to Jungkook one last time. She is not the kind of person who enjoys meddling in someone else’s business. She had almost ignored the voice in her head that kept telling her to make an exception this time when she saw Jungkook last night at the bar.

Just like what she had told Jungkook this morning, Tasha has always been someone who adores romance. She may have never once truly experienced true love, yet she still loves the concept of love itself, and she still yearns for it just like how everyone else would wait for their own happy endings. That was the reason why she had taken it a stride when Wooyoung confessed to her for having someone that he had already loved before they met and how she agreed to stay with them as they tried to figure things out until the day they officially wed.

It was also the reason why she had felt such a strong pull in her soul to help Jungkook. And now that she had done what was needed, she cannot help but feel pleased with herself for listening to that inner voice of hers, to know that despite whatever the outcome might be, it was truly worth it when she saw the determination in Jungkook’s eyes when he told her that he was ready to return to Seoul to get back to you.

Lifting her glass of drink, she looks closely at the glowing liquid as she murmurs softly to no one in particular, “Isn’t love such a funny thing?”

“I’m sorry?”

A deep voice suddenly speaks to her. She snaps up and looks over to the man sitting beside her, who had, no doubt, heard what she had just said and is now looking at her curiously.

Tasha falls silent for a moment, astounded by the sight of the gorgeous man and the fact that he is looking straight into her eyes. Already well trained to regain her composure, she covers her stumble and shock with an easy laugh. “Oh, it’s nothing. I was just thinking out loud.”

The man laughs with her. “I do that all the time too, mostly when the music is loud like this and you can’t hear your own thoughts,” he says, pointing at the live band playing on the stage across the room. Tasha follows his gaze before turning back to him.

“You’re not enjoying the band?”

“Oh, I’m enjoying the music. It’s just…loud,” he says, chuckling at himself. And Tasha is surprised to find just how comforting his voice is when he does that. “But I honestly don’t mind it. I just got out of a different kind of party and this is the scene that I needed.”

“Another party?” she asks, raising her pretty eyebrows curiously. She finally takes a look closer at him then, scanning his looks—from the folded tuxedo jacket that he has hung on the back of his seat, the folded sleeves of his shirt, the bowtie that has been left hanging loose on his collar—

“Let’s see…Nice tux, sleek hair, must have been a fancy one. And something proper. I’m guessing it was a wedding?”

He raises his eyebrows, looking surprised. Judging from the way he laughs while looking astonished, she knows that she has hit the jackpot even before she confirms it himself. “You’re mighty observant. How did you know?”

Acting coy about it, Tasha lightly shrugs. “I work with people. I manage things to make sure that I can keep people entertained, so I’ve learned to read them to know how I could please them and fulfil their needs,” she says, stopping when she sees him making a curious face at her comment. It takes her a moment to realise that he might have taken it the wrong way.

With a chuckle, she waves her hand at him. “Oh no, darling. Not that kind of work. No offence to the ladies who work in that field, though,” she says, still giggling at his reaction, thinking of how adorable he looks whenever he is confused or lost. “I work in management, and I manage places where people would go to when they need to wind down and have fun. This bar, for example, is just one of them.”

The man nods, exhaling a soft chuckle as he says, “Ah, gotcha,” before he finally introduces himself as Matthew. Matthew Kim, a freelance developer who has been staying at a different resort on the island for the past couple of nights for the wedding he attended. She keeps repeating his name in her head for some reason, even as she gives him hers.

“So, what’s with the drinks?” she asks him curiously once she remembers that the resort did host a simple wedding reception at one of its open courts which isn’t supposed to end yet. “Did they not serve you enough alcohol at the party?” Even if she had called it a night and had vowed to not spare her mind in anything related to work, she cannot help but to start compartmentalising, trying to take notes to see if there is something that her staff might be missing out on.

Tossing his drink down his throat, Matthew laughs and shakes his head in return. “No, no, I’m just here to celebrate. I couldn’t do it properly earlier when I had too many eyes on me,” he says while raising his glass to her. “It was my soulmate’s wedding, after all.”

Her world immediately stops. “Your…soulmate?”

Matthew orders another round of drinks for the two of them while any plan that she has made about ending the night short simply vanishes into the back of her mind when he begins sharing his story. How he met his soulmate during high school reunion—she was an old schoolmate of his who had moved out to the States back in high school, before they ever had the chance to realise they were soulmates—and how their reunion had happened too late—for she had fallen in love with someone else while he had claimed himself married to his job and current lifestyle—and how he had found that there was no need for them to change everything when the bond between them could never change their feelings for each other, since they had only considered each other as friends. Unlike Tasha’s or Jungkook’s case, Matthew simply stepped aside to let his soulmate continue on with her life, without him, and he had chosen to accept her invitation to come to her wedding today so he could give both of them the closure that they both had needed to move on from one another.

As he keeps on telling her this, Tasha simply grows silent. Too stunned to make a comment or to even speak when she cannot believe that her new companion would be experiencing the exact same thing as she did.

“Maybe you were right, after all,” he says once he is done sharing his story with her and after she revealed a bit of her past.

“About what?” she asks him, her voice coming out almost breathless as she finds him leaning much closer, allowing her to see the vulnerability in his eyes which had appeared after they had opened themselves up to one another, showing each other the part of their souls which the world could never have the chance to see.

“What you said earlier about love,” he says, grinning widely while looking seemingly amused at how she is reacting to him. “It really is a funny thing, isn’t it?”

Tasha has no answer to his question. Her words are simply lost in her throat as she is too mesmerised by the sight of his tattoo, the soulmate mark that she sees engraved on his wrist—the clutter of hydrangea flowers which appear almost identical to hers. Almost. Except the flowers on his wrist have been painted in blue while she has purple petals painted on her skin.

As they continue to share the night, spending the long blissful hours in each other’s company, she becomes even more lost in the beauty of his eyes, in the deep gaze that he gives her which makes her feel like she is the only person in the world that he sees.

It wouldn’t be until the next morning when Tasha finally finds out how smart and quick-witted Matthew is as a person, and for him to realise that she is just as free-spirited and ambitious as he is when it comes to enjoying life and giving everything that she has to build her career.

It wouldn’t be until the week after when the soft, warm flutters begin to rise in her chest each time she looks at him, when she would find herself getting lost deeper and deeper in his beautiful gaze while he would begin to find it hard to simply look away from her beauty.

And they would still feel the same way for each other even after months later, when he still looks at her with deep admiration when she wakes up each morning by his side, welcoming the new day together in his embrace as they build their new life in the blissful love that they had chosen as theirs.

honourable mention: Kwon Hyuk as the bartender

➥ Author’s note | Didn’t I promise you that everyone is going to have their happy endings? Curious to know what happens between Jungkook and yn next? One final chapter is left to give you the answer. If the final chapter is going to be short, then I might combine the epilogue and post them together as a long post. So stay tuned for that update coming. If you’re still reading the story to this point, thank you so much for staying and for being with me through this whole ride. I love you guys a lot!

❥ Commissioned by @namgishope

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