#he looked at a horse and was like.... nah | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

softquietsteadylove · 9 months

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Oh you gotta continue the dressage AU! It looks promising and already so good too!

Maybe something cute? Gil playing with Olympia? And Thena who wanted to look after Olympia coincidentally sees it? And she is not only watching her mare 👀

"Olympia?" Thena looked around, not spotting her mare in the fields. She walked down the steps of the clubhouse, the apples she swiped from the brunch table in hand. "Olympia!"

Where was that devilish horse?

Thena walked towards the stables, where at the very least there would be someone who would know where Olympia was.

She and Gilgamesh had come to know each other better. She had to admit that she judged him perhaps too quickly. He was a very experienced and diligent caretaker, and he really did know the horses very well. Olympia especially seemed to get the very best food mix, the best attention, the best of everything!

The club would insist on nothing less, after all, given she was their top prize winner. But to have a caretaker who actually cared about Olympia because she was Olympia was...refreshing. And he was not so bad to know as a human, either.

"Olympia?"

Thena walked into the stables, the doors open to air the place out on such a temperate day. She leaned against one of the pen doors, rolled open for exactly who she was looking for.

"Gotcha!"

Olympia whinnied in glee, cantering and kicking like a bunny as Gil played peekaboo with her. She was like a puppy with a toy as her handler took turns peeking at her in between shovelling her hay.

"Hm," Gil pursed his lips, setting aside the shovel as he moved onto the bales. He looked over the wrong shoulder, "it feels like someone is here...but I don't see anyone."

Olympia shuffled her hooves, moving behind him further as he slowly turned around the wrong way to see her.

"Hello!" he called out, chuckling at the sound of the horse behind him. "Oh!"

Thena leaned off the barn door, officially caught in the act. "Oh, h-hi."

"Thena," he smiled as she walked over to them. He grinned, his hands on his hips, "have you seen Olympia?"

Thena barely bit back a laugh; he had his charms, she had to concede. "I...was just looking for her."

"Me too," he put on a look of confusion, ruffling his hair. His shirt had come a little undone in his work. "I was going to get her a snack, but-"

Thena hid her laughter behind her hand as Olympia nudged his hand with her snout and then got her slobbery lips all over them. "Olympia!"

But Gil had no admonishment for the snackish mare, "there you are!"

Olympia cantered on the spot in humour.

Thena went to her mare's side, smoothing her hand down her neck, "he spoils you."

Olympia looked at her as if to tell her not to spoil the fun.

"I spoil her?" Gil smiled, taking one of the apples Thena had brought with her in hand. "And what are these?"

"They were-" Thena gave Olympia a pointed look, "for a very hard working horse when she took a break. But I don't see any hard work being done."

Olympia nudged Gil, urging him to convince her rider to surrender the juicy snack.

"Hey," he chuckled, looking down at the apple in his hands, "I work very hard."

"That you do," Thena murmured. Gil dug his thumb into the top of the apple's core and then split the damned thing right in half. Maybe he was used to it, but it was still quite a feat to witness, nonetheless. He fed one to OIympia and took a bite of the other half for himself.

"At least I have some company," Gil smiled at Olympia, patting her nose as she crunched her surprise snack. He looked back to Thena, "what are you up to now?"

"Well," she blinked; his shirt seemed to come more and more undone the longer she spoke with him. "Practice this morning was thorough. I thought I would look in on Olympia before leaving for the day."

"Aw, we're having a nice time, right girl?" Gil cooed to the horse who was so smitten with him. Her tail swished behind her. "After hay time I was going to give her a nice brushing, maybe a hose down if it's necessary."

Olympia stomped her hoof.

"Stop it," Thena chided, pointing in her horse's long face, "you behave for Gilgamesh. He quite literally does everything he does for you."

Olympia turned faintly, shamed by Thena's scolded.

"Hey, it's okay," Gil said more gently as Olympia sought to hide behind him. "The others don't like baths either."

Thena gave him a look, "this is what I mean by you spoiling her. She had declared you her ally against me."

"I'm not taking anyone's side," Gil laughed, holding up his hands in good will. "I'm here to bale the hay and brush the horses."

Thena looked at the massive pile of hay beside them, both the loose stuff and the pre-rolled and blocked bales. "This is an awful lot for just you, Gil."

He shrugged, though, like staring down a mountain of hay up to the ceiling was nothing. "It's a full afternoon, that's for sure."

"Surely they can't expect you to do it all alone," Thena frowned as he did indeed start drifting back to the hay. She put her hand on Olympia's nose.

"I'm used to it."

Thena could argue that it didn't make it right, but he hefted up a bale and started moving them into each of the pens for the horses. She knew they could weigh around 50 pounds for the smaller blocks. Hay was light, but densely packed, anything could reach a weight that was still a pain to lift and move. "I can help."

"Thena, really," he gave her a look as he walked back for another one. "I only need two in each stall, it won't take long. The rest I'll load onto the forklift to be moved later."

"There must be something I can do," she frowned, not willing to just let it go as he picked up another one.

He set it down at his feet, his back stretching as he did. Why was his shirt so thin?! Thena blinked as he stood up, pulling her eyes away from the spectacle of it all.

"Really, Thena, I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself," he said gently. "Not to mention the club would probably kill me in the back woods if I let their prized champion help me shovel the slop."

Thena rolled her eyes; what was this, the 18th century? "I am more than capable of basic horse care. I did manage it long before you came along."

"Hey, I'm not doubting that," he chuckled, looking at Olympia, who was watching their debate with bulbous eyes. "She's the best shape I've seen in a horse here."

Thena held her head high, her pride showing through.

"Okay," he shrugged, putting his hands on his hips again. Was he allowed to work in such a flimsy shirt? Wasn't he supposed to wear protective gear or something? "Hose her down for me, then."

Thena looked over her shoulder at Olympia, who looked away.

"You said you wanted to help," he chuckled, walking past her for more hay again. "She needs a brush and a little shampooing. Then, if you're really keen on helping, you can help me shovel the loose stuff."

The lighter stuff, he meant. Thena put her hands on her hips as well, "fine."

He nodded at her, seeming quite amused by her firmness, "deal."

He moved to retrieve another bale, hoisting this one all the way up onto his shoulder. His back muscles were plain to see regardless of the shirt over them.

Thena sputtered as Olympia flicked her tail right in her face. "Olympia!"

Olympia rolled her eyes and shook her mane out. If she was not going to have her fun, then neither was her rider.

#Thenamesh Dressage AU #Olympia said right in front of my apples?!#no ma'am #I'm here having my fun and then you interrupt it so you can ogle him #nah fam #she also complains the entire tip Thena is shampooing her #because what kid likes the bath?#Gil really does move all those bales by himself #because it's not that he doesn't think Thena is strong #you literally have to be to ride horses competitively #but these bales can be from 40 to 75 pounds #yes I looked that up!#he moves them all in a hurry so Thena won't try to move some herself #but then he peeks at them and Olympia is shaking herself out and getting Thena soaked in the process #then who's staring at someone in a thin white shirt???#he looks away flustered #poor boi #Thena comes back out ready to help #towel over her shoulders and shirt half plastered to her #and Gil is like EVERYTHING IS DONE IT'S JUST SHOVELLING NOW HAHAHAHAHA #she's okay...

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nellhargreeves · 11 months

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rereading pjo/hoo series and honestly forgot so many things

#like hazel being such a horse girl #and amnesiac percy looking at nico and being like ?? do I know you ??#not sure im a fan of caleo #and the fact she cursed annabeth rather than Percy #annabeth can’t help who percy chooses to love???#nah fam #i also feel Jason gets a bad rep #dude was trying to hold the whole Argo II crew together after percabeth fell into hell #and how he handled the whole Cupid thing with nico #nico my poor bby #pjo #hoo #currently up to house of hades

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hostilehospitalbeds · 6 months

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I went in the notes of the shaq vid to find out “who is she” and apparently people hate her and I can see why from watching her other clips (though I stand by that that particular clip combined with that person’s comment about them being in purgatory is funny, just not, as someone else pointed out, thanks to her) and this vox article is great so thought I’d share. Genuinely never heard of this chick before today though.

#I already was rolling my eyes at her a bit for not knowing what a carriage horse is #and then seeing people being like her humor is in large part mocking the black men she interviews #cause her tryna be like what were you drunk and it’s like nah girl you just don’t know what he’s talking about #so that was off-putting for sure #cause like she’s trying to make HIM look dumb but in reality he knows more about horses than her ykwim?#like ‘lol a carriage horse what are you talking about you can’t ride a horse pulling a carriage’ but she’s the one who’s uninformed here yk

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saturniolos · 3 months

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besties (matt sturniolo x reader) ౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆

notes: this took me days. i am going BLIND plz show sum love &&&&& hey——— come talk to me ! (btw this type of editing/social media aus have been around for ages- credit goes to the person who came up with it first!!)

yourusername

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yourusername happy 20th my boys. thank u for driving me around and feeding me and being the greatest airbnb hosts when i be acting up … 🦌🦌🦌🤍 love you always.

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yourusername

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matthew.sturniolo

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matthew.sturniolo Huge toothpick fan

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yourusername new year new me xo

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nicolassturniolo it’s February

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yourusername 😳 bye

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matthew.sturniolo I love you 🤟🏼

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billysgun · 5 months

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bandage

billy the kid x sheriffs!daughter |requested!| after you found him wounded, you took him back to your house where you healed a very flirty billy.|

"you're a mess" you mumbled, hands working fast as you pressed the clean cloth into his wound

he spits through gritted teeth as he lays sprawled on your table

"lucky I found you" you whisper, thinking about how unlikely anyone else would be out in the fields when his horse flipped him over and dragged him with his hands gripped tight on the rein, splitting his leg open

"am I?" he grunts as you wipe the blood around his open leg

"why didn't you let go of the damn horse?" you scolded him but he only let out a pained chuckled

"can't lose my stuff, honey. plus your daddy would've done shit for it" he grins at you, nodding toward the framed certificate hung on the wall with your father's license. he's the local sheriff and would kill you for having this out-law on your dining table

"he works with crimes, not stupid accidents" you mumbled, grabbing the needle and threading it through his skin as he screamed out in pain

"he's a corrupted piece of shit you know" he yells out as you stitch him up, you snort at his comment, thinking it was bold of him to so openly hate on your family while you healed him. then again, the whiskey you had him chug for the pain was probably taking its effect

"and this was a crime, dear" he adds, and you look up at him

"tell me more, cowboy" you say sarcastically but he only smiles

"yeah well, I will! someone was shootin' my way and almost hit my horse, that's why he was runnin'!" he confesses and you tie the end of your stitch

"stray bullets sometimes happen, it is huntin' season" you mumble as you do a few more ties for good measure

"nah, people want me dead, dear" he relaxes when you step back and you undo your bloody apron

"downside of being an outlaw, I suppose?" you question and he lets out an airy laugh

"I need to get going though, thank you" he says, twisting his body over and you run to push him back down

"no, no, no. you ain't walkin' on that leg for at least 2 weeks" you say but he dismisses you, putting his weight on the other leg as he drags himself to the exit of your dining room

"guess that means I'll need a follow-up visit?" he smiles and you roll your eyes

"that would be nice. because of the leg" you add and he slowly nods

"right, for the leg" and just like that the outlaw was gone and you ran upstairs to mark 2 weeks from now in your planner with a grin like no other spread on your face.

an: thank you so much for requesting! I had so much fun making this <3

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lorarri · 11 days

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★ . . . 𝐈 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐖𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 , 𝐃𝐑𝟑

summary , taking the reason off has done daniel some good as he now shows it and his cowgirl girlfriend off at his home grand prix, and laughing at mclarens downfall

pairing , daniel ricciardo x fem! gf! texas cowgirl! reader

main masterlist | f1 masterlist | daniel ricciardo masterlist

yourinstagram

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yourinstagram btw this is danny's hat

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danielricciardo dass my baby

danielricciardo never looked better ❤️ ⤷ user danny ric Y/N stan first f1 driver second ⤷ danielricciardo always

danielricciardo god you look so hot ⤷ maxverstappen1 mate you've hyped her up enough save some for the rest of us ⤷ yourinstagram shut up max go get kelly to complement you since you want praise so bad ⤷ user girlie went in 😭 ⤷ user nah that's a violation

danielricciardo look people my gf's wearing my hat 🤠 ⤷ user the people that get the joke rn: 💀 ⤷ user what's the joke? ⤷ user you don't want to know

user icon

user daniel won fr

landonorris can I wear danny ric's hat? ⤷ yourinstagram no. ⤷ user hahahhaha ⤷ user lando is such a drama starter ⤷ user he def knows the rule ⤷ user not lando and Y/N fighting for danny in the comments ⤷ user I mean I don't blame them tbh

user our favourite cowgirl

user how do you feel about mclarens downfall ⤷ yourinstagram they had it coming ⤷ yourinstagram still love Lando and Oscar though

user best wag tbh

user everyone’s serotonin levels after seeing this 📈

user omg the caption ⤷ user what's wrong with the caption? ⤷ user do yall know nothing about the cowboy hat rule

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danielricciardo . 15hr ago

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INTERVIEW CLIP :: "I'M A COWBOY NOW" THE LATE SHOW - DANIEL RICCARDO

danielricciardo

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danielricciardo shoot your ex day dump before home gp next week

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yourinstagram I know this is meant to be on a Sunday but I'll make an exception for you

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yourinstagram are you taken?

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yourinstagram no one talk to me for the next 24 hours as I recover from danny riding a horse shirtless ⤷ user so real for this

yourinstagram when he looks good in your cowboy hats >>>

user Y/N being the ultimate simp for her man

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user idk who I want more

landonorris I feel left out

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user plz one chance that is all I ask for

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user my parents 🥰

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yourinstagram

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yourinstagram always knew I would marry a cowboy

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danielricciardo

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danielricciardo always knew I would marry a cowgirl

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sillysowa · 8 months

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How do you think Hobie would react if he bent down and his partner just started humping him from behind as a joke and then the partner quickly runs away before he can get them😂 I love your writing btw your really talented and I look forward to reading more 😊 oh and if you do respond could the partner be a girl and maybe you could like make it where he get payback if you know what I mean 😏. It’s up to you. Have a nice day! 😃

sorry for the wait anon!

HAVIN’ A LAUGH?

PAIRING: HOBIE BROWN X FEM!READER

GENRE: FLUFF, SUGGESTIVE

WORD COUNT: 0.4K

AUTHORS NOTE: IF I MAKE A PART 2 IT WILL HAVE HOBIES ‘REVENGE’

SYNOPSIS: THERES NO WAY HOBIE’S LETTING YOU GET OFF EASY AFTER THIS ONE

—

“There’s just no way you actually did that-“

“I did! I swear on my life!” You laugh, hitting Hobie’s arm playfully in the lobby as you recall the mission you just went on. You’re a mess, practically crying as you cling to his arm. Hobie can barely piece together your weird story but he’s gathered that you slapped an anomaly with an entire bunch of bananas that you grabbed from a market stall, completely peeling all of them in the process and coating the anomaly in crushed banana. You were a fruity mess after the battle in a tropical dimension and Hobie was laughing at how hard you were laughing,

“Oh god, i’m so hungry now though! All that beautiful food that I didn’t even get an opportunity to appreciate!” You tsk, walking into the cafeteria with Hobie by your side. He picked up a tray with you and picked out his food as you did when he dropped a bag of chips,

“Aw shit, my fucking crisps…” Hobie groans after the bag falls, indefinitely crushing some of the contents inside. He’s setting his tray down to pick it up when his eye twitches at the sound of you stifling a giggle,

“Don’t-“

“Did you just say crisps? Nah man, get that British tomfoolery out of here!” You nearly cry, laughing your head off as Hobie shakes his head at you, clicking his tongue,

“You really want to play these games, Y/N? What’dyou want me to call em eh? Chips?” Hobie playfully argues, putting on your accent to mock you, and poking your side. You laugh uncontrollably at his annoyed state, your eyes glinting mischievously as he bends down in front of you to grab the bag. Without a second thought, you grab his small waist and hump him right in the cafeteria, your hips slamming into his ass and nearly sending him face forward into the ground,

“Giddy up!” You holler with a mock-southern accent. Hobie flinches and scoffs in disbelief as you take off out the doors, his jaw open and a smile creeping onto his features,

“You havin’ a laugh?” He yells after you, wiping the smile off his face with his hands before he sets the chips on his tray and takes off after you, the whole cafeteria in complete awe at what they just witnessed.

Web-Slinger and his horse eat in the corner of the room, and he shakes his head,

“Amateurs.”

—

@ohxx @luxxtuxx @fatenpara @hobesbf @defnot-bri @lasagnaisbest @deepzombieyouth

#across the spiderverse #hobie brown #hobie brown smut #hobie brown x reader #spider punk #hobie brown fluff #hobie brown x you #hobie spiderverse #spiderman

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cartierre · 9 months

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HEAD OVER HEELS | al

SOCIAL MEDIA!AU arthur leclerc x fem!equestrian!reader

side note: i think this is short but i also think i've lost the ability to know what's long, what's short and what's the proper length for an smau fic.

♡ liked by arthur_leclerc, charles_leclerc and 45,938 others

tagged: ralphlauren

yourusername i'm honoured to have been chosen by ralphlauren as their new ambassador for equestrian fashion! i'm excited for the upcoming collaborations and future work together!

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user1 how can she be so effortlessly pretty while riding a literal whole ass animal ⤷ user2 it's literally a photoshoot, she's supposed to look gracefully ⤷ user3 horse back riding is actually really graceful

arthur_leclerc looking absolutely stunning mon amour (my love) comment liked by yourusername

user4 love how arthur is constantly supporting y/n ⤷ user5 boyfriend of the year

user6 when will we see you in the paddock again?

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tagged: arthur_leclerc

yourusername one year with my favourite french person ♡

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user7 FRENCH? ⤷ user8 i think it's a joke

user9 not y/n taking the piss out of arthur hating to be called french hahahahaha

arthur_leclerc you're so funny ⤷ yourusername the funniest

user10 i just know arthur could never be mad at y/n even if he tried i mean look how he looks at her as if she's the most precious girl on the planet ⤷ arthur_leclerc in my eyes she is the most precious girl on the planet

♡ liked by arthur_leclerc, ralphlauren and 42,293 others

tagged: ralphlauren

yourusername preparing myself for the f2 paddock fashion game with ralphlauren

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user11 girl got one brand deal and is now riding the wave ⤷ user12 she's literally an ambassador ⤷ user13 miss ma'am better get that bag

user14 she's so old money i love her

arthur_leclerc la plus belle fleur ✿❀ (the most beautiful flower) ⤷ yourusername pulling out google translate ⤷ yourusername nah stop it i'm blushing

user15 i want to be her so bad

user16 honestly now with her collab with ralphlauren i'm definitely excited for her fashion game the upcoming season

♡ liked by arthur_leclerc, charles_leclerc, ralphlauren and 46,938 others

tagged: ralphlauren, arthur_leclerc, charles_leclerc

yourusername i missed arthur in his lil slutty fireproofs

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user17 i love y/n's humour

user18 yeah those fireproofs are doing the drivers really justice

arthur_leclerc i'm taking this as a compliment, thank you ⤷ yourusername don't let it get to your head

user19 y/n looks so good, arthur should keep her close or else i'm gonna snatch her away

user20 ralph lauren is really doing god's work y/n looks absolutely gorgeous ⤷ yourusername did i not look absolutely gorgeous before? ⤷ arthur_leclerc you always looked and always will look absolutely gorgeous

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081314 · 2 months

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Book 7: The Ruler of the Abyss – Chapter 7 (Part 1)

Following is part 1 of my translation of Chapter 7 of Book 7: The Ruler of the Abyss. This part contains Episode 7-101 to 7-106

Main storyline spoilers after the cut.

Episode 7-101

Silver: Y-You’re…!

Idia: Can’t start a boss raid without a tank, and now we’re all set to go. The opening act’s DONEZO. Time for the main event! Heehee!

Sebek: J-Just what on earth is going on here!? Have we awakened from the dream?

Idia: Nah, we're still in the dream, sorry. Well, it's not really a dream. It's just a magic domain that Malleus-Shi created. I mean, just look at that armor you're wearing, dude. No way you can take that into the real world with you. 'Cause it's not really real, it's just, like, "info".

Silver: W-Wait, how do you know all this? Do you remember what happened before we fell asleep?

Idia: Uhh, it's not that I remembered everything. It's just I got a good handle on what's going on, I guess you could say.

Yuu: What do you mean?

Idia: H-Hold your horses, I'll explain later. But first… uhmm.. Ahh… I haven't really ever talked to you guys, right? Name's Idia Shroud, I'm the dormwarden over at Ignihyde.

Sebek: Ah, that's it! I was wondering why you seemed so familiar. Now I remember, you are indeed Ignihyde's warden! You appeared in that strange, plank-like form at my orientation, and I dare say this is the first time we've ever properly met.

Idia: R-Right. I just remoted into your guys' orientation on my tablet.

Sebek: And I am Sebek Zigvolt of Diasomnia! A first year of Class D, student number 33! This dullard here is my dormmate, Silver! He is a second year!

Idia: G-geez he sounds like a friggin' air horn!! Feels like my eardrums are about to explode. Hard to believe Malleus-shi's ears aren't totally busted from having to listen to that all the time...

Silver: My apologies, Idia Senpai. We'll try to keep it down. Anyways, I don't think you have to worry about your eardrums, since we're inside a dream and all, but… Ah, that's right! Everyone, stay alert!! Idia Senpai, Grim, Yuu, get behind us!

Idia: Wait, wot? Why? AUGH! Ow ow ow! I'm getting squeezed to death in a meathead-and-armor sandwich!!

Grim: Huh? What's goin' on, Silver?

Silver: Now that Idia Senpai's awake, it's only a matter of time before the Darkness appears and tries to lull him into a deeper sleep.

Grim: Crap, yer right! An' ya know what else… I bet Malleus is gonna pop up any second now and go into his stupid "HaVe yOu aWaKeNeD!?" spiel!

Sebek: The Darkness aside, I fear without Sir Lilia's aide our odds against Lord Malleus are… Nay, that matters not! Be it the Darkness or the Young Lord, we shall defeat whatever stands in our path!

Idia: Ohmigod I'm gonna die… I can't… breathe…!

???: So sorry to rain on your guys' parade, but… There's no need to worry about Malleus Draconia-san or that wiggly black stuff right now. It's likely Malleus-san is currently engaged with pouring his "resources" into keeping Lilia Vanrouge-san asleep.

Grim: Hey, that sounds like Ortho! Boy am I glad you're here, I thought we mighta lost ya back in the dream corridor. Where are you, anyway?

Ortho: Teehee, sorry for all the worry. Unfortunately, I'm unable to join you guys in big brother's dream without it causing some major problems, so we'll just have to talk through this monitor feed for now. Sorry. Anyways… My big brother appears to be suffering from oxygen deficiency judging by the pallor of his face, so could you please give him some space?

Silver: Ack, I'm so sorry!

Idia: *gasps for breathe* Uwaaaah!!! A-Another second and I was about to get yeeted into the Underworld… T-Thanks, Ortho.

Sebek: Oi, what was all that gibberish about Lord Malleus pouring "resources" into Sir Lilia?

Idia: Yeah, yeah, we're getting there. Ortho, could ya give 'em a recap?

Ortho: Roger that, big brother! I guess I'll start with how me and big brother know this is all just a dream… So on the day of Lilia-san's going away party, Malleus-san cast a spell that put all of Sage's Island to sleep… Or better said, he froze all of spacetime here. But by transforming into data and utilizing a connection I established with a communication satellite, I was able to escape.

Everyone: Communication satellite!?

Grim: The heck were ya able to do that!?

Ortho: Hehehe, it's because I'm unique! I may not be able to develop a Unique Magic, since I'm not a mage… But I was able to transmit my consciousness and my soul to a communication satellite using radio waves, and I then transferred myself into a different body. And that's something only I can do, ya know?

Sebek: I am loathe to admit it… But the technical advances that humans have brought forth truly are astounding.

Silver: Right. You and me could train and train, but we'll never be able to do what Ortho just did. He truly is unique.

Ortho: Hehheh, I'd love to hear you guys compliment me some more… But I'll get back to the story. Once I made it to Styx, I got my hands on a brand new gear.

Sebek: Styx…. 'Tis the organization that administrates the Isle of Lament, as I recall Sir Lilia explaining to us before.

Ortho: Correct. And then I worked together with Styx to infiltrate the island, so we could analyze Malleus-san's Unique Magic… Fae of Maleficence.

Episode 7-102

(A little while after Ortho and the KB-RS units departed for Sage's Island)

Ortho: This is Ortho reporting. I have reached the aerial perimeter of Sage's Island together with KB-RS01 and 02. We are now en route to the penetration point. The island's still pretty far away, but my magical energy and blot concentration sensors are going crazy. This is just like when the gates to the Underworld opened up… No, it'll be okay. I've got this new gear mom made for me, and the KB-RS units are here with me, too.

KB-RS01 / 02: Grrrr…. Woof woof!!

Ortho: This is Ortho reporting. We have reached the penetration point. Now making final preparations for descent.

Chief: Roger that. Good luck!

Ortho: Now deploying magical barrier infiltration mode. Activating counter-spell barrier. KB-RS units, deploy slicer modules and activate your ethereal slicers! Now initiating operation "Infiltrate Sage's Island"!

Ortho: Dammit, looks like this isn't going to be easy… KB-RS units! Keep on the attack!

Chief: We need to cover for Ortho. All battleships, aim your magical cannons at the barrier!

Operator A: All magical cannons are at full output! Firing in five seconds…. 3…2…1!

Chief: Fire!!

Ortho: The vines are all gathering together in that one spot to protect the island!! Looks like we should be able to get in over there, where the vines aren't so concentrated. Let's go, KB-RS units! Ethereal slicers at maximum output! We're gonna cut our way in!!

Operator A: Ortho has successfully infiltrated the barrier.

Head Engineer: …That takes care of the first hurdle. The next problem will be getting him out of there. He's only got twenty minutes before that gear loses power.

Chief: Right. Let's make sure we're prepared for whatever happens. Hurry up and get those cannons reloaded!

Staff Members: Yes, Sir!

Head Engineer: Come back safe and sound, you hear… Or-kun!!!

Episode 7-103

Ortho: ….We did it! We're inside the domain! And thanks to my counter-spell barrier, the spacetime aberrations here aren't affecting me at all.

(Time until loss of power: 20:00)

Ortho: Deploying analysis anchors!! Now running analysis! Woah, this magic is super complex… It'll take a good 17 minutes just to analyze the spell's formulation and save all this data. We'll be cutting it close, but we can make it. Just have to keep the anchors safe until the analysis is done….

(Purple lightning strikes)

???: My, my… And I was wondering just what slipped into my domain.

(Malleus appears in a column of green fire)

Malleus: Let's see here, you're… You look awfully different, but you're Little Shroud, correct?

Ortho: Malleus Draconia-san…!!! You're… So you really did overblot.

KB-RS01: Grrrr!!!

Malleus: Shouldn't you be fast asleep back at Diasomnia?

Ortho: Heh, sorry about that. But that body in the dorm lounge is nothing but a tin can now. I was able to use the wireless network to escape. Thing is, I'm an autonomous AI constructed from data, so I-… Actually, you probably won't understand even if I explain it, huh.

Malleus: In other words, you slipped out of your body, like a ghost, and found yourself a new vessel… Is that right?

Ortho: Oh, wow! That's a very fae-ish way of interpreting data transfer! But yeah, you got it. As long as there's radio waves available, I can go pretty much anywhere. …Even to the furthest reaches of space! I saw you used your magic to block off the submarine cables, but you never even thought about the satellites, didja? Magic is the power of imagination. And you can't bring to life or fight against something you don't understand. And that's exactly what I am - I'm not made out of quantum particles our spiritual energy or anything like that, I'm data. You seriously need to consider upping your security protocols! Personally, I recommend implementing UTM within your barrier.

Malleus: You-tee-em? What in the world is that supposed to stand for, I wonder.

Ortho: What the- You don't even know what that is, either? Geez. See, this is exactly why you got outwitted by your Kouhai like this. Doesn't matter if you're one of the top give mages in the world, or how ancient this spell is… You're no big deal. You'll never be able to put me to sleep with your magic!

Malleus: Heh, I see… In that case… I'll just have to smash you to pieces then, you little automaton.

Ortho: Go ahead and try! You'll see just how strong Styx… Just how strong the most advanced human technology in the world is!

Ortho (thinking): Malleus-san doesn't appear to view the analysis anchors as a threat. There's thirteen minutes left until they'll be ready… I need to buy us some time!

Malleus: My sincerest apologies, but uninvited guests really aren't welcome here. I'll be escorting you out now.

Episode 7-104

Malleus: You have my praise, it's quite astounding you've been able to maintain your sanity within my domain for this long. However… Is this really supposed to be the pinnacle of human invention? How pathetic! You haven't managed to lay even a finger on me this whole time. Fufufu…. Ahahhaha!

Ortho (thinking): Damnit! It's like everything in the domain is bending to Malleus-san's will. I don't think our attacks are even hitting him, let alone having any effect. It's like he's got this whole place in the palm of his hand…!

Malleus: Now then, let us cease with these childish games.

(Malleus explodes one of the KB-RS units)

Ortho: 01!!

Ortho (thinking): There's only 30 seconds left until the analysis is complete… Come on, we're almost there!!

Malleus: My, you look awfully pale. Do even machines feel fear? It's alright, I'll ensure you won't feel a thing when I shatter you.

Ortho (thinking): 20 seconds left… Please, hurry up, anchors! Hurry!!

Malleus: Sweet dreams, Little Shroud.

Ortho (thinking): I failed… I'm so sorry, mom and dad!

(Malleus freezes for a second and then looks confused)

Malleus: !!!

Ortho: !?

Malleus: Tsch, I missed.

Ortho (thinking): What… just happened? It's like he froze for a second there. Kind of like when a CPU overloads and gets a processing failure.

(an alarm beeps)

Analysis Anchor: Analysis complete. Data has been saved to the crypto memory core.

Ortho: 02! Get all the anchors and retreat! NOW!!

KB-RS02: Grrrr!!

Malleus: How bothersome. You're nothing more than a fly buzzing around my face…Away with you!

(Malleus explodes the other unit)

Ortho: 02! Argh… But thanks to 02 distracting him, the anchors are safe. All I have to do now is get them out of here…!

(The ground starts to shake)

Malleus: …What is it now? You fools just don't know when to stop!

Ortho: This is…!

Episode 7-105

Operator B: KB-RS01 and 02 are down! 45 seconds until Ortho loses power!

Head Engineer: …He still has enough time and power to escape the domain. Don't give up!! All autopilot Charon units, activate Termination Mode! Do whatever it takes to get Ortho out of there!

Chief: All battle ships, concentrate power into the magical cannons! Raise the output and don't stop firing!!

Technician: W-We've already reached maximum output! If we go any higher, the generators are going to get fried!

Chief: I don't care! As long as we can give him some time, even ten seconds or three seconds, it doesn't matter. We just need to have Malleus concentrate on defending the barrier! Now take aim and fiiiiiire! Fire, fire fire!

Ortho: It's Styx! They're giving me backup! Now's my chance! Magical slicer, full buuurst!

Malleus: …What!?

Ortho: Uooooooo!!

Chief: Cease cannon fire! All ships, prepare for Malleus's counterstrike and activate your invisible shields!

Operator A: …Ortho has now exceeded his power limit. System down, we don't have a signal!

Chief: …No!!

Head Engineer: Or-kun…!

(An alarm blares)

Operator A: We're receiving a transmission from the Charon Tetra Unit!

Charon: This is Tetra Unit reporting! We've discovered Ortho's body floating in the water around the domain! His body is very badly damaged, but his core is unharmed. We've also recovered all the analysis anchors from the water. We're now en route back to HQ.

Everyone: We did it!! Hooraaaaay!!

(Mr. and Mrs. Shroud hug and fall to the floor in relief)

Chief / Head Engineer: Haaaahhh….

Head Engineer: Good grief... I've said this before and I'll say it again, but even if I had a hundred hearts those boys would still leave me frazzled at the end of the day….

Chief: You know what? I gotta agree with you there, sweetheart….

Malleus: …Tsch. Damn those cunning little humans… No, it matters not. They can come back as many times as they like, be it a hundred times, a thousand times, and it will always end the same… I will remove any and all uninvited guests.

Episode 7-106

Ortho: Huh? Where am I…?

Head Engineer: You awake, Or-kun?

Ortho: Mom… Dad… I…

Head Engineer: Your Cerberus Gear was heavily damaged. All we managed to recover was your core and some of the surrounding parts around it. We lost both KB-RS units in the domain.

Ortho: I see… I wanted the three of us to make it back home together…

Head Engineer: They were good boys, huh. Listen, once we get rid of that domain, I'm sure we'll be able to recover their parts. And then mama will fix them up good as new.

Ortho: I'm so sorry, I know how hard you worked on them…

Head Engineer: What are you apologizing for!! All that matters is you're safe and sound. Welcome home, Or-kun.

Chief: Welcome home, Ortho. I'm so glad you made it back safely.

Ortho: Yeah, I'm glad to be home, too.

(The Shroud family hugs each other)

Ortho: Wait, I almost forgot! What about the anchors!?

Chief: They've all been recovered safely, you guys did an excellent job. Sytx's data processing department is firing all cylinders trying to analyze everything. There's multiple, complex layers of magic comprising Malleu's domain. The way it's interwoven, it reminds me of Test Subject F… Sorry, of the ancient spell that Grim has on him. Thanks to Briar Valley's assistance, we've at least been able to ascertain how the domain is constructed.

Ortho: Already!? That's great news!

Chief: Unfortunately, it's just the opposite.

Ortho: Wait, what do you mean?

Chief: We've determined that if Malleus Draconia himself does not break his spell voluntary, or if he is not eliminated, then we only have a 0.2% chance of destroying the domain from the outside.

Ortho: No…!

Head Engineer: Everything in that domain, even the laws of reality, is under Malleus's control. We could fire the most powerful magical cannons in the world at that barrier and fight our way inside, but as soon as you're in, you're powerless. We could maybe beat him if we take about 100,000 Cerberus Gear units with us…

Ortho: We probably wouldn't even need to fight him if we had that many units. He'd be too stunned to even move…

Head Engineer: Sounds like a good idea, right? But by the time I finish making that many auto-pilot units, his domain will have likely enveloped the whole world by then.

Chief: We have a couple of other concerns, as well. The minds of all those people asleep on Sage's Island, they're all trapped within Malleus's magical barrier. And according to our analyses, we've discovered they're all currently "dreaming".

Ortho: Dreaming…? You mean the illusionary phenomenon humans experience when in REM sleep?

Head Engineer: Correct. His magic is tricking them into believing that what they're seeing in those dreams is real. It almost works like the Lethe River system, in a way. So if we go in guns a-blazing and try to destroy the barrier, we just might end up destroying everyone's minds along with it.

Ortho: I get it… It's like the domain is one huge server. And that means… Pretty much our only option is to try and convince Malleus-san to bring down the domain himself and let everybody go.

Part 2

Part 3

#twst spoilers #twst #twisted wonderland #twst jp #malleus draconia #idia shroud #twst silver #sebek zigvolt #ortho shroud #the ruler of the abyss #twst book 7

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wandixx · 4 months

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one-shot snippet

Duke was running out of fumes to run on. The last few days would be exhausting if it was just vigilante or just civilian stuff but no, he had to have it both. Because of Arkham break out, he had been called in three nights in a row, not for a whole patrol but he couldn't exactly sleep it off during the day like others did, especially not in a week when every teacher decided they needed to have test or quiz or what not. Naps meant he wasn't as sleep-deprived as he could be but he needed far more. But he couldn't because crime in Gotham never sleeps so he had normal patrol to finish and there were about two hours left.

Would something bad happen if he just stopped for a moment and laid on a roof? Ten up to fifteen minutes. It was a slow day too…

Yeah, no, he deserved a moment to rest and if something disastrous was to happen in the meantime he would shame other Bats for not giving him enough time to sleep.

It certainly said something that he found gravel covering this roof to be quite comfortable. He set a timer for ten minutes and let himself close his eyes.

When the loud screech of the timer jolted him awake, he was suddenly fully aware that he wasn't alone anymore. He sat up a little too quickly.

"Oh, you're awake" white white-haired girl around Damian's age chimed, sitting cross-legged just a few feet away from him. She wore something that could only be described as a lab safety hazmat suit, white and black with popping green accents. When had Gotham gotten a new vigilante/villain/whoever the girl was? "Good, I just returned from a snack hunt," she added, gesturing at a big textile bag lying next to her. Duke didn't have enough brainpower to do anything more than ask.

"What?"

The girl shrugged, take-out from BatBurger in her hand.

"You look like you have a bad day if not a few days, so I've got you my cousin's bad day combo or at least the closest thing I could. BatBurger burger isn't as good as NastyBurger but you certainly have better fries" As she spoke, a second take-out bag, 1 liter bottle of energy drink, juice bottle of the same size, and pack of convenience store brownies joined greasy paper bag sealed with a sticker.

"Is your cousin a speedster?" Excuse Duke, it was a totally valid question, he saw with his bare eyes both Wally West and Bart Allen when they visited Manor. No one else would be able to stomach the amount of food they inhaled during their stays.

"Nah, we're not that fast or that hungry. Though I think I may get closer to the speed of sound." So, clearly, a meta if white hair and weir aura that let his eyes rest weren't enough indication "My cousin when he has a bad few days often forgets to eat so this combo has to help with there too. But I'll steal your fries of course."

Duke was not going to look a gift horse in the teeth, so he grabbed one bag and tore it open. There was a classic combo with bigger fries and NightWings inside.

"Thank you…" he trailed off, hoping that the girl would take a clue and introduce herself but she didn't. She just drowned her fries in ketchup and started munching. She had her own juice.

"My cousin always said that each part of this combo has a different purpose." she explained instead, slightly muffled because of the fries in her mouth "This" she gestured towards the fast food meal "is to soothe your stomach. This "she tapped energy drink "is to soothe your brain and kick it back online. This "she raised a bottle of juice "is to soothe your taste buds because energy drinks are war crime against them and this "she nudged brownies "is to soothe your heart because Ancients damn it, this day is awful and you deserve it. At least that's what he told me when I had day bad enough to deserve that" she shrugged, licking ketchup of her finger. Suddenly she froze "You aren't allergic, are you?

"No, I'm not" he confessed bewildered.

"Good"

For a long moment, they sat in silence, devouring food the little girl brought. Duke distantly wondered if this was how the night shift spent their snack breaks. It felt nice.

He was finishing his part of the brownies when the girl spoke up again.

"Do you feel better now?"

"Yeah," he was a little surprised to realize that t it was true. He'll have to note down what she put in this 'bad day combo'. "Thank you"

"Don't mention it." she shrugged with a general gesture of dismissal "You're one of my cousin's favorite heroes because you're vaguely his age and handle Gotham alone during the day and I quote "She did honest or God air quotes at that" 'As only hero in Amity-' which is a lie by the way, Val is doing great and even if he suddenly got problem with how she feels about his alter ego, he still has Sam and Tuck even if they're usually more of moral support. And I helped when I visited, so no, he isn't the only one. Anyway as he said 'As the only hero in Amity, my heart goes out for anyone who deals with this type of bullshit so Dani if you absolutely have to prank heroes, leave them out of it, especially Signal, he can't be older than Jazz, he doesn't need any more mess to handle.' All aliens and lanterns are also off-limits because he is a space nerd. But you aren't space-related so I'm like 80% percent sure he has a celebrity crush on you" She slurped more juice, unbothered.

Duke was thankful he wasn't swallowing anything because for sure she would choke. He took a split second to consider addressing… this whole situation and choose against it. He was not ready to be anyone's celebrity crush.

"Your name is Danny?" he asked instead.

"Dani" she corrected" with an I"

"Ok. It's nice to meet you Dani-with-an-I" She giggled, nodding her head slightly.

"It's nice to meet you too Signal"

Duke stood up, stretching a little. Dani joined him after hastily putting all the trash in her bag. She was a little higher than expected.

"I have to get back to my patrol"

"Cool," she drifted back a bit, making him realize that she was floating a few inches above the ground. She fixed her bag on her arm.

"Hey, can I hang out a little bit more? My cousin will go green out of jealousy when I tell him" she added with a mischievous smirk but Duke could tell there was more to it. He took a moment to consider it, which apparently made the girl nervous "I can be invisible the whole time, like before." she offered, disappearing in the meantime. He could still tell where she was, because of her heat signature, and aura but for regular people, she would be no different than the surrounding air.

"Yeah, you can hang around and you don't have to be invisible. Just don't get in my way when I have to actually do some fighting."

She popped back to the visible spectrum and pouted like Damian whenever he got benched.

" I can fight, y'know? I stopped mugging on a snack run."

It was ten goddamn minutes, how could she get so much food and stop a mugging in such a short time?!

Oh, right, superspeed. Still, impressive.

"I haven't seen it" he started, channeling all Dick-trying-to-wrangle-Damian-into-socially-acceptable-activity' energy he could muster "So I don't know how you fight or even what powers you have. If we tried to fight together we would trip over each other" It was a bare-faced lie, Bat Training made sure of that but he knew for a fact that if he said anything else, the girl would be mad and probably did her own thing.

Was that what Bruce thought about all of them?

Oh no.

Dani still looked displeased but after a moment of consideration, she nodded with a defeated sigh.

Suddenly she straightened like she got struck by lightning and whipped around.

"Wha-"

She just shushed raising her finger to her mouth. Duke did indeed quieten.

"I have enhanced hearing" she whispered "There is a mugging somewhere this way."

"Let's go then" he shot his grapple, waving his other hand at Dani to come with him before he jumped off the roof. He heard the girl giggle as she flew right after him.

" After this, you'll show me the coolest gargoyles, okay? Sam asked for photos"

"Okay"

It seemed that the end of this patrol wouldn't be as bad as the start was. Hopefully.

And afterward, he was going to lock himself in his room until the sky fell or he was well rested.

Yeah, that was a good plan.

*******

how do you like it?

#it's been in my wips for some time and i wanted to finish it before posting anything #but my creative brain don't want to kick in lately and i really wanted to share something about this idea so here you are #later Duke kinda trains Dani #they hang out #Dani gets a new alias and makes minor costume changes #i had it all drawn and can't wait to share with y'all but i need to finish writing first so you know a context #dc x dp #thoughts?#dpxdc #dp x dc #dcxdp #one shot #writing wip #fanfic #have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 5 months

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IOTA Reviews: Representation

Oh, so NOW child abuse is bad. Could have fooled me last episode!

Let's get into the twenty-fifth episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Representation

We start off with an English news report recapping the ending of “Revolution”, stating that Ms. Bustier is going to run for mayor, conveniently ignoring her attempted coup in “Collusion”. We also see that Gabriel and Tomoe are still uncomfortably focused on making Adrien and Kagami appear to be a couple in public, much to their dismay. While Kagami is visited by Argos (who once again sneaks up on her, like he usually does), Adrien realizes he can transform into his space form and see Marinette whenever he wants and transforms into Cat Noir, planning to reveal his identity to Marinette. Hey, did he even tell Ladybug about his sudden departure? Because it didn't go well the last time he left Paris without telling her (New York Special).

We then cut to Marinette right after the events of “Revolution”, going to the end of the year dance... even though when we saw Adrien and Kagami in London, the sun was still setting, and France's time zone is only about an hour later, meaning Adrien and Kagami must have flown there at ludicrous speed.

Meanwile, Argos and Kagami somehow got from London to Paris offscreen, and watch Marinette from afar, with Kagami revealing she knows she's Ladybug. They decide to tell Marinette that Felix knows who Monarch is in order to ensure his downfall. Nah, I'm just kidding. Here's the real reason they're coming to Marinette for help.

Kagami: My mother and Gabriel Agreste will never allow us to love each other freely. Only Ladybug can help us.

Yep, rather than prioritize the fact that Gabriel is endangering the citizens of Paris on a daily basis, Kagami is seriously more concerned about her relationship with her boyfriend being tampered with. This is like saying Lex Luthor is evil because he cheats on his taxes. Argos transforms back into Felix, and... oh, for the love of God... he disguises himself as Adrien in order to get closer to Marinette. You can't keep portraying Felix as this master of disguise if he only has ONE disguise!

Marinette sees “Adrien” and assumes he came back from London from her, assuming her boyfriend is much more active that the writers actually believe he is, so she tries to follow him while avoiding the guests at the party. Meanwhile, Gabriel and Tomoe learn their children are gone, so he goes to talk with Nathalie and—why the hell is she like that?

Seriously, this has never been established as something that happens when someone uses the broken Peacock Miraculous. Why didn't this happen to Emilie? She looks pretty healthy in her little coffin, and I doubt Gabriel is an embalmer.

Anyway, after Nathalie once again reminds us that she hates Gabriel, but not enough to call the cops on him, Gabriel transforms into Monarch and immediately detransforms back in order to akumatize himself into Nightormentor.

Nightormentor is a pretty average recolor of the Collector's design, which kind of makes sense, considering that Gabriel himself intended the Akuma for himself. The star pattern is okay, but there's not much I can really say. As for his powers, he's just another Sandboy, being able to force people to hallucinate their worse nightmares, only instead of a pillow, his weapon is a staff created from a pen containing the Akuma, with the Horse Miraculous' Voyage to boot. Why he didn't just give himself the same powers he gave Truth when he's trying to find Adrien is anyone's guess.

Cat Noir arrives at the Eiffel Tower to talk with Marinette, just as Nightormentor appears. The two fight, and after a few civilians get caught in the crossfire, Nightormentor escapes through Voyage. As Cat Noir heads to the Dupain-Cheng bakery at the advising of Max, Alya and Nino decide that the totally not useless Resistance should get involved.

While Marinette gives chase, Felix leads her into the school's art classroom, where he transforms into Argos and creates a Sentimonster using Kagami's ring. Felix and Kagami use the Sentimonster's power to do... uh... whatever the hell this is.

Yeah, this is basically a flashback, but the animators probably blew their budget needed for the new models on Ms. Bustier's baby bump, so we're getting this instead, thanks to the Sentimonster Argos created. There are several scenes of Cat Noir and Nightormentor interspersed, but like what I did with Marinette's flashback in “Derision”, I'll give you the summary before I talk about my problems with this.

When Adrien's mother and aunt, Emilie and Amelie, were born, Emilie (who was born seven seconds early) was trusted with the family heirlooms, the two rings we first saw all the way back in “Felix”. Even though this meant she would inherit the family name, Emilie didn't really like doing... whatever the Graham de Vanily family wanted her to do, but Amelie did. Eventually, while studying abroad, Emilie met Gabriel, and the two fell in love. Before marrying Gabriel, Emilie gave up her role as the sole inheritor of the Graham de Vanily family's vague legacy, while Amelie married a man named Colt to please her parents. Both couples wanted children, but it's heavily implied that Emilie and Amelie were infertile, so their wishes weren't able to come true. Emilie finally managed to get a bun in the oven thanks to the Peacock Miraculous, but this made Colt jealous that he couldn't have a child. Out of the goodness of her heart, Emilie asked Gabriel to give the Peacock Miraculous to Colt, in exchange for letting the Gorilla guard Adrien in the future. Using his own jealousy as a source of power, Colt got Amelie pregnant, though at the cost of his health. Colt figured this was the price he had to pay for using “sorcery”, and used this as an excuse to treat Felix like a monster and ordered him around using the ring containing his Amok. Felix himself was unaware that he wasn't human until Colt accidentally broke the ring (which wasn't one of the two wedding rings used to control Adrien and was an entirely different ring containing Felix's Amok), which he stole as soon as Colt died. This is meant to explain why Felix decided to steal back the Peacock Miraculous, in order to save his life. Felix later met Kagami, and the two explain that they need “Someone like Ladybug” to help them.

Now if your only information about this episode is through my summary, it seems simple enough. For everyone else who actually saw this sequence in the episode itself, I'm guessing your thoughts were about the same as mine.

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Let's go over every problem I have with this scene, starting with...

#1: The Way Kagami and Felix Explain This

Let me just ask something: Why can't Felix just talk to Marinette about what he knows since he now knows she's Ladybug instead of telling her everything through this weird play? You can still tell Marinette all of this without your two-man show. In fact, why did Felix have to wait until he knew Marinette was Ladybug instead of just talking to her the next time he saw her? Yeah, you could argue it's easier this way, but like I've been saying since Season 4, Felix has had no excuse to wait this long to tell Ladybug about the fact that he knows who her greatest enemy is.

And why the hell is it presented this way? Why does Felix have to recontextualize the story of his family's history in the form of a play? Why turn it into a stereotypical fairy tale that leaves out the names of all the important people, like Emilie, Amelie, Colt (whose name I only learned through the transcript of this episode), and Gabriel? If it was like a hidden message Felix and Kagami wanted to convey to Marinette, that would make sense, but why do they have to be so cryptic when they're only putting this show on for one person? You could easily avoid a good chunk of the questions this raises if this was a show Felix and Kagami put on for the public that Marinette was able to learn the information from. Yeah, it still wouldn't explain why Felix can't just tell Marinette about who Gabriel really is, but at least it's something.

The way it all happens kind of reminds me of this scene from this old Halloween special I saw a lot as a kid, Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktacular. In that scene, some of the kids act out a scene of this little girl's parents entrusting her with a flashlight to explain why she carries it around, in order to scare off any monsters she runs into, using the graveyard they were in as a makeshift set. This scene works a lot more because it's done in more of a tongue-in-cheek way, with some of the kids breaking character to boost their own egos (for example, the kid playing the mom comments about how responsible she is), and how one kid in particular gradually gets fed up with the whole thing. The scene does its job at delivering exposition in a way that isn't meant to be taken too seriously, and it's clear this is being done by some kids goofing around in-universe.

With this episode, it's clear that the writers want the audience to take this whole backstory seriously in spite of how absurd it all is. Seriously look at this.

We are seriously expected to take this backstory seriously when it looks like some theater major's midterm project. The animators want it to look artsy and unique for the sake of making it look artsy and unique. Why does it look like a play these two put together themselves if they're supposedly using a Sentimonster's power to do it? If the unnamed Sentimonster's powers is how Marinette is seeing all this, why can't it actually be seen as a flashback? Was it always intended to be a handmade play that was changed to the product of a Sentimonster at the last minute?

I get that the animators probably wanted kids to pick up on the visuals of the play, but even then, it makes it hard to really stomach the serious themes this backstory brings up, like infertility and child abuse, with the way they're presented. Not only do Felix and Kagami all play the characters using these white jumpsuits and masks, they also do all the voices, meaning that the only “dialogue” we hear from Colt is delivered by Kagami putting on a deeper voice. Let me repeat that: the only times we hear Colt, the abusive parent and all around garbage human being, talk, it's done by a teenage girl trying to make her voice sound deeper.

But hey, maybe the goofy voice will be overshadowed by the nuanced depiction of child abuse, right? Right?

#2: The Portrayal of Colt and the Double Standards Regarding His Treatment of Felix

I have never seen a single show struggle this much to convey a lesson as simple as “Child abuse is bad”.

When it comes to the parents in this show, terrible parents like Gabriel, Audrey, and Tomoe are almost never held accountable for the way they treated their children. If the writers aren't claiming they really love their children deep down, they're either downplaying how cruel they are at best or playing their behavior for laughs at worst. But here we are, the penultimate episode of the fifth season, and we finally have a parent who is unambiguously treated as a terrible human being with no redeeming qualities... and I still have problems with this.

This flashback really goes out of its way to let the audience that Colt was a real piece of scum in life. He only wanted a child out of jealousy, used his Amok to force Felix to do whatever he wanted, was heavily implied to have physically beat him at times, and blamed him for his poor health on his deathbed when he was the one who wanted to use the Peacock in the first place. Now that I think about it, why did Colt even use the Peacock to create Felix instead of Emelie? Was the episode so determined to paint Colt as a bastard that he wanted to be the one to create Felix himself?

The point I'm trying to make is that the show doesn't really explain why Colt was like this. Why was he such an angry man who treated his only child like crap? I don't know, because all the show's telling me is that he was just a dick. He honestly feels more like a caricature than anything else. He's only as terrible of a person he is in order to make the audience sympathize with Felix. I'm not saying that what Felix went through was okay, but it has the same energy as scenes of Gabriel talking to Emilie's body. It's mostly there to make the audience sympathize with an antagonistic character in spite of all the things they've done.

What's really weird is that even though the whole point of this play is so Felix can tell Marinette Gabriel is Monarch, so what does Colt have to do with this? I'm not saying he's not worth mentioning, but it makes no sense for Felix to tell Marinette about his abusive father before he tells her about Gabriel. It feels more like Felix wants to find a way to excuse his actions before telling Marinette about Gabriel being Monarch. And remember when “Derision” made a big deal about Chloe's terrible parents not excusing her actions? Funny how that conveniently doesn't apply to Felix in this episode.

In fact, let's talk about the elephant in the room: The fact that this episode aired right after “Revolution”, an episode that literally said a character living under an abusive and controlling parent was a fitting punishment for her. HOW THE HELL IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT FROM THAT? If anything, this episode really shows the double standards this show has about child abuse, how the only way your situation can be taken seriously is if you're a “good victim”. Chloe's a “bad victim”, so she doesn't get any sympathy when her mother outright says she's going to take control of her life, yet when Colt actually takes control of Felix's life, we're supposed to sympathize with him now. Why am I supposed to feel bad for Felix now when you just told me I shouldn't feel bad for someone in a similar situation last episode?

In fact, one theory I have about this backstory is that it was intended to kill two birds with one stone, no pun intended. I believe that this episode wasn't just written to give us more insight into who Felix is as a character, but also to show the audience what “real” child abuse is like. As far as the show is concerned with Gabriel, Audrey, and Tomoe? They're not actually abusive parents, Colt is, so you should condemn his actions, and not those three. It's blatant double standards, which is nothing new for this show.

#3: The Way Amelie Just... Lets This All Happen

In my “Derision” review, I discussed how strange it was that so many people in Marinette's life did nothing to help her against Chloe, and the same thing applies here with Amelie.

This episode never really explains where Amelie was when Colt was abusing Felix, much less if she was even aware of it. At least with Marinette's parents, they didn't know because most of Marinette's suffering was at school. Amelie lives with Felix and Colt, so what's her excuse? She seriously didn't overhear Colt yelling at Felix or notice the orders Colt gave Felix? Was she just that ignorant to her child's suffering? Remember, this is supposed to be Felix's good parent.

In fact, does Amelie even know Felix is a Sentimonster? Yeah, “Emotion” established that Amelie knows Felix is Argos, but this episode doesn't really make it clear if she knows Felix is a Sentimonster or not. If it was clear Amelie knew nothing about what Felix really was, it would arguably make things easier to stomach, as she wouldn't know the power Colt had over him.

Instead, even though she's Felix's mother, the show doesn't really explain what she actually did when Colt was making Felix's life a living hell, especially since the flashback says that Amelie was forced to marry Colt, so you can't even say she was blinded by love here. Hell, I'm not even sure if Amelie knew the cause of Colt's untimely passing.

#4:This Doesn’t Really Do Much to Explain Felix’s Actions

Now before you say I'm being insensitive, let me make one thing clear: My issue isn't with the fact that this was done to get the audience to sympathize with Felix. The problem I have is that the backstory doesn't do enough to explain why Felix did the things he did.

Okay, Felix wants the Peacock Miraculous. Understandable, he doesn't want to die, so he has to do morally questionable things to preserve his life like betraying the only person capable of stopping the man who can kill him. What's less understandable is his plan to get the Peacock Miraculous from Gabriel. You'll notice that the backstory didn't mention Felix's first appearance, where he only stole the rings belonging to Amelie's family, and he didn't even think to look for the Peacock. Instead, it cuts from Felix realizing he's a Sentimonster to him striking a deal with Gabriel, not even mentioning that he gave Gabriel back one of the rings as part of the deal, which still makes no sense.

If Felix's goal from the start was to get the Peacock Miraculous, why did he bother stealing all of Marinette's Miraculous as a bargaining chip for the deal instead of the family ring? In fact, why did Felix even steal the ring and wait an entire season to trade it back to Gabriel for the Peacock a season later? And for someone who claims to care about Adrien, he really didn't see anything wrong with giving Gabriel one of the two rings capable of overriding his free will.

As a matter of fact, why the hell is Felix even so hostile towards Adrien? Why did he go out of his way to smear his reputation in his debut episode if all he wanted to do was make a bargain with Hawkmoth? In “Risk”, he mocked Adrien for how he talked, while Adrien himself was aware of how he made him look bad in front of his friends, and that's not even getting into how he made himself look like Adrien as part of his plan to betray Ladybug, which would have screwed him even more if Adrien wasn't already Cat Noir. For someone who claims he wants to protect him from Gabriel, Felix really doesn't care about his cousin all that much.

In fact, why does Felix even hate Gabriel at all? The show hinted that the two had a history, yet during the backstory, which I need to remind you, was told from Felix's perspective on the events, has a surprisingly generous portrayal of Gabriel. Did Felix know Gabriel was Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth/Monarch during his first appearance? Does Felix blame Gabriel for how Colt treated him growing up? Does Felix hate Gabriel for how he treats Adrien? Did Gabriel intend to get Colt sick in the first place? Seriously, what is Felix's deal with Gabriel?!

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How does a flashback organized by Felix himself do nothing to really explain why he did the things he did?

#5: The Fact That There Are STILL Several Unanswered Questions Here

For something meant to fill the audience in on several important topics, there are still so many questions about the history of the Agreste and Graham de Vanily families.

Other than the vague backstory about them being rich, we still know nothing about Emilie and Amelie other than them being rich and possibly infertile. We don't know if Amelie ever loved Colt, if she knew he was abusing Felix, or if she even knew if he used the Peacock to play god.

On a related note, why did Emilie and Gabriel decide to use the Peacock Miraculous to create a son instead of adopting? Scratch that, why did she specifically create a Sentimonster to give birth to like a normal baby? Was there some kind of Macbeth-esque guideline that Emilie had to give birth to a child in order for said child to get the inheritance? Did she use the ring to control Adrien like Gabriel does now? Seriously, this is the character the show's conflict is all based around, and we still know nothing about her other than the fact that she was nice.

This flashback just makes no sense, and is such a stupid and confusing way to deliver exposition.

Anyway, during all this, Cat Noir and Nightormentor are fighting, and for the third time this season, Cat Noir attempts to Cataclysm him someone, even when he had Nightormentor pinned down. Nightormentor breaks free and hits Cat Noir with his magic dust, causing him to hallucinate... Cat Blanc?

Yeah, the script calls this form “Anticat”, but given how it looks like a reused Cat Blanc model coupled with the petrified people of Paris, this is clearly meant to bring Cat Blanc to mind. The problem is that NEITHER CAT NOIR OR NIGHTORMENTOR KNOW ABOUT THAT. Why would you remind audiences about an Akuma that technically never existed?

Better yet, is this what Cat Noir trying to his Cataclysm on people this past season (Destruction, Jubilation, Derision) has been building up to? The fear that he'll lose control? You could have fooled me, as he never really showed that much remorse for almost hurting people other than Monarch. Yeah, you could argue that because Nightormentor based his hallucinations off his victims' worst fears, but again, this fear had little to no buildup this season because Cat Noir never felt any guilt for Cataclysming Monarch after “Destruction”, and whenever tried to use his Cataclysm on other people, Cat Noir never really realized the weight of his actions. If you want to make a character arc about Cat Noir worrying about hurting people with his powers, go more into the guilt he feels for hurting Monarch and using that guilt to affect his actions. Don't just use some “Cat Blanc” nostalgia bait to convince the audience that there's been a character arc.

Nightormentor takes advantage of Cat Noir's emotional state to get his Miraculous, only for the Resistance to save Cat Noir by... throwing stuff at him. And this is how they defeat him. While Nino, Alya, Ivan, and Zoe distract Nightormentor, Kim and Max help Cat Noir focus, Cat Noir Cataclysms Nightormentor's baton.

Zoe traps the Akuma in a jar, Cat Noir doesn't take it, he heads off to detransform and confess to Marinette, only for the hallucination to still affect him since Ladybug didn't use Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage, and even though he knows it's just a hallucination, he still uses it as a reason to not reveal his identity to Marinette, even after Ladybug de-evilizes the Akuma herself.

The episode ends with Gabriel and Tomoe locking Adrien and Kagami in these white rooms while under heavy surveillance to ensure they won't escape, vowing to start “Operation: Perfect Alliance”. Because these two like using the word “perfect” more than they like subjecting their children to what one of my anons referred to as “white torture”.

Because that's a good way to keep your children under control: psychological torment.

Other than the stuff with Felix and Kagami, this episode was pretty dull.

There's just not much I can really say here. The plot was barebones, all Marinette did was listen to Felix and Kagami's story so the writers didn't have to involve any of them in the main conflict, and even Cat Noir confronting his akumatized father doesn't have a lot of weight to it because towards the end, it focuses more on Adrien's nightmare instead of his relationship with his father.

This episode is nothing more than a prologue for the final battle. It's only here to establish Adrien and Kagami's presence in London, Marinette learning Gabriel is Monarch, and even more setup for Gabriel and Tomoe's final plan. And trust me, the buildup will be far from worth it.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... FELIX

It's amazing. The only time this season Felix goes out of his way to actually help Ladybug, and he still screws it up. He abducted Kagami from her hotel in London without thinking of Tomoe hunting him down again when that was the entire plot of “Pretension”, only decided to tell Marinette he knows who Monarch is because he's getting in the way of his relationship with his girlfriend, did so in an unnecessarily convoluted way, and even though he made a big deal about not wanting to use Sentimonsters in his last appearance, he still used one to tell Marinette his life story instead of just saying “My uncle is Monarch”.

And if you think Felix will get a chance to truly redeem himself in the finale, think again, bucko. Other than a brief cameo, this is the last thing he'll do this season. Aren't you glad the writers made this character prominent for seven episodes over three seasons and did nothing else with him?

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