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weirdcat1213 · 10 months

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Its time for the weekly horrors- I mean Trimax vol 3 >:3

The Thoughts:

chap 1:

-AH EVERYTHING IS FALLING

-bro you are about to get into a fight can you stop thinking about your bf for 5 minutes

-fr tho, vash's words making him hesitate/angry is so dcfgjhbkml

-why everyone wants my babygirl dead :c

-now now, comparing someone with their brother isnt a nice thing to do

-oh so now we're not even making an allegory, he actually called him jeesus

-also "your soul is forced to endure the sorrow by the hundreds, suffering by the thousands, and the rage by the hundreds of thousands" im gonna throw up cuz of how that GOOD and PAINFUL that shit is

-the polar opposite of being a human huh...i mean besides something i said weeks ago about how he's further away from humanity more than he would like that point is interesting cuz most of the time we call him someone who is more human than any other person. he carries more pain than any human could endure and definitely has more patience than anyone will ever have but...hm...i want to come back to this

-ww pls dont make me cry today pls honey

-oh im gonna cry

-"your ideals will join you in the grave" i fucking hate thats the reason why we all try to be better people, thanks to that fucking wet cat of a man i cannot deal actually

-MILLIE :D

chap 2:

-i dont have much to say about battles but let it be on the record that I'm enjoying ww's eyes sm

-oh page 38 is cool as hell

-OH SHIT IS THAT HIS FUCKING SPINE????

chap 3:

-ww stop having pretty eyes youre distracting

-meanwhile :3

-ah geesus the body horror (so good but creepy)

-EYES :D

-so many fucking details. nightow got down even the smallest scribbles, as 98 vash would say

-oh right that....thats still upsetting

-i fucking swear people need to leave my son alone

-also fucking hate that he had to SHOOT A BABY even if it was fake

-I FUCKING HATE THIS ACTUALLY

-i can feel his fucking mind breaking i cant do this

chap 4:

-"i cant do this" yet here i am lmao

-i think if vash held me like hes holding that girl a lot of my problems would be resolved ngl

-characters reciting names always get to me :c

-also HA EAT THE PTSD ASSHOLE

-"why are there so many" brad you may want to sit down for this one

-..................i deadass thought "oh the doctor is here" IVE READ THIS BEFORE AND I FELL FOR IT AGAIN

-vash with his hair down :3

-nah hes not gonna kill you BUT HE FUCKING SHOULD

-oh i will kill so many people (vash is bleeding)

-hm. this reminds me of something in houseki no kuni (i wont spoil but maybe ichikawa had trigun as inspo which would be cool af)

chap 5:

-oh im yeeting myself (ww thinks about the children) -ww gives in his anger and fear when punching those weirdass faces but I'm gonna say this once: that doesn't make him weaker or worst. i haven't seen anyone think that of ww, i just feel that when he compares himself to vash he feels that way and i cant stand it :)

-vash i fucking swear-

-oh god the fingers...the fucking fingers...

-oh you are NOT talking to my vash about pain and agony

-OH WAIT I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THAT PANEL OH GOD NO I HATE REREADS WTF

-XD my girls

no wait i need to get back to that. i thought that was emilio's dad not fucking vash himself oh my god I'm sick so sick actually wtfffffffffffff

chap 6:

-is this the chapter with the gays eyes cuz I'm not ready for that-

-oh fuck you nightow. fuck you for putting knives in the title page and the title being "families"

-i want to punch so many things but I'm at work. fuck

-also i forgot about this stampede parallel GOD WHEN DOES MY SUFFERING END

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE GAY EYESSSSSSS

-yeah i agree this is literally the moment. like fuck. fuck actually. fuck what else is there to say.

-fuck

-like hes so fucking terrified that he was afraid for him, what his journey is causing ww, but even if he wanted ww to stay away and safe he knows ww would say fuck off, but also vash would not be able to take it

-THERES SO MUCH FEAR AND LOVE IN THOSE EYES IM GONNA BITE MY HAND

-OH I CANT ACTUALLY WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH WTF

-im so fucking upset cuz the last 3 chapters were basically fights. they were full of energy and shit but now that is over and they are in a rare moment of peace, and everything fucking hits.

-im gonna go outside and step into oncoming traffic

-YES LUIDA MY QUEEN SHUT HIM UP

-WOLFWOOD :D pls never leave me

-i....*implodes*

-i am nothing. i just remembered that.

-OH CMONNNNNN

chap 7

-maybe i dont want to read trimax anymore. maybe a little person like me isn't strong enough for a 2nd round of the pain. with that in mind, lets keep reading :D

-WHERES THE NIGHTOW PUNCHING BAG WHEN YOU NEED IT

-wolfwood what he is it doesnt matter i swear pls cant you just love him?

-:c

-i dont like vash being emotionally attached to stuff cuz that means i have to yell HES LIKE ME FR FR

-oh that....that beautiful panel...amazing

-i think my mind blocked this out because of the previous sad things that happened, so now my brain is allowing me to process more sad things :3

-"i still have so much i must do" and i see i still have many tears to cry out huh?

-ofc wolfwood would ask about redemption

-cant my man show an important part of his past and show vulnerability in front of his friends in peace? damn

-im gonna start bitting my glasses

-GAY MOMENT PART 2 INCOMING

-luida pls i want to stop crying

-oh wolfwood honey....you just fell so hard for my man didnt ya

-i just realized the chapter is called "life as a" and I THINK the idea is to complete it with "life as a 'vash the stampede'" cuz he's not human

OK GREAT NOW I CAN RUN TO THE WASHROOM AND FUCKING CRY :D

#trigun #trimax #trigun maximum #trigunbookclub #nightow sir #i will meet you and i will end you #and then buy you coffee

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mint-berry-crunch · 10 months

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KENNY

KENNY, MY BELOVED!

Oh boy, OH BOY, where to start with this guy?

I think I'll start out with his appearance, then move on to his identity, likes, dislikes, and misc. shit.

But before we get into it, minor TW for mentions (slightly in-depth!) of bad home life, an eating disorder, and mental illnesses. It's the first thing under the cut; I put a ✨ when it's safe to read again.

Ok, so, I definitely hc Kenny as underweight, for more than one reason. One being obviously that his family is poor, and can't afford much food, but I also think that Kenny has an eating disorder. ARFID, to be specific. It's not to lose weight, either; I think it formed because Kenny would rather his little sister Karen get to eat more food than him. His parents are also CLEARLY abusive, it's stated and even outright shown. I think that one of their abusive punishments is withholding food when Kenny does something they perceive as "bad," or even just when he makes them mad.

Kenny, I believe, also has a slew of disorders, mostly from his traumatic life. I think he's got:

ADHD, AFRID, C-PTSD, DPDR, and Cotard's syndrome. The C-PTSD is self explanatory- his life is shit. And I already explained the ARFID. But as for the others, I believe he has: ADHD just based on the actions he takes in the show. DPDR, as a symptom of his C-PTSD, and coping mechanism to the trauma of dying over and over and over. Impossibilities aside, if that were to happen to someone in real life, they would likely have a VERY hard time with their sense of reality. Cotard's syndrome, I considered not listing. Because Kenny really DOES die. But after thinking about it, I DO think he has it. I think his DPDR causes him to not be able to tell if he is really alive, or if he has died yet again.

✨

All the triggering stuff is out of the way now.

I think that Kenny has snake bites and an eyebrow piercing. He just gives those vibes, doesn't he? Like, come on, he TOTALLY has face piercings! Same with a mullet. Like, Kenny is THE most mullet-having mullet haver I've ever seen!! It's less of a "hillbilly country bumpkin" mullet, and more of a tik tok alt mullet, and it actually looks kinda good on him.

I also think he wear Hawaiian shirts under his parka. At first he didn't like them, not even wearing one when he went to Hawaii and just keeping his parka on, but after a little while, he realized that he loved button-up shirts, but that normal button-ups were to formal for him. His solution? Hawaiian shirts.

I think he's genderfluid. Genderfaunet, in specifically. He uses he/him/they pronouns. This is because he's almost always a boy, but is sometimes non-binary, so usually prefers he/him. He's straight and even when he's non-binary, he still calls himself straight. It's just a personal preference of his.

I think Kenny's intelligence is definitely above average. However, his strengths don't lie with schoolwork. Instead, he's better at real-life problem-solving, and emotional intelligence. I'd place his IQ at around 120, although he never got tested. His worst subject in school is math.

Some things he likes are: Rock music, the aquarium, dogs, "bad" weather, nature, sports, urban exploration, social media, cars, and video games.

Some dislikes are: Reading, drawing, writing, speaking (sometimes), school, and closed spaces.

When Kenny gets to be in high school, he works at a gas station with Stan and steals cigarettes from behind the register. Kenny's job as an adult is at Sea World.

Kenny has GOT to be my favorite character. He's funny, but can have serious story lines that you can take seriously, unlike, for example, Cartman. He's got some things about him that are very relatable to me and a lot of other people and he's just overall a great character!

#sorry its not as long as the last one #i love kenny #i was jsut getting tired #south park #kenny mccormick #sp kenny #kenny south park #headcanon #south park headcanons #sp hcs

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autisticbee · 1 year

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Just saw your newest posts about Dan Vs so would you mind sharing those I need my daily dose

Of Dan Vs thoughts? Sure. Here's some random thoughts & hcs. got a little long oops (I can't remember how to do read more on mobile...)

- Mr. Mumbles is immortal. why? Who knows, but it's a silly cartoon so I get to hc the cute kitty as immortal, alright?

- I've seen ppl joke about dan vs """cancel culture""" but the thing is, I think he'd be all for it. I think he'd find it funny. I mean the dude has his own version of a call out list.

- Dan has hypermobility (1. He mentioned having a double jointed thumb 2. I have hypermobility and I say so)

- Chris is pansexual but doesn't realize it until later in life, he honestly had just not thought about it too hard & had only had a few relationships prior to getting married kinda young, all with women, until something leads to him realizing his feelings for Dan are not entirely platonic & it's just like. Oh.

- Dan on the other hand is pretty openly bisexual, he has a preference for men(projecting 🤪) but has (... slightly) better luck with women (men are more likely to want to kill him)

- something, that's not a life or death situation that gets magically reset, prompts Elise to tell Chris the truth about her job. because I hate the fucking person can't tell their partner they're a spy/agent/superhero/what the fuck ever trope it Feels Bad Scoob and Chris has expressed sometimes feeling a lack of communication between them in the show which ):

- speaking of Elise finds out Chris is part bear but in like the most casual way possible

Elise: I'm thinking of making Chris see a doctor, he gets sluggish and strangely irritable during winter months which makes me wonder if he might have seasonal depression.

Dan: nah, that's just the bear part of his DNA

Elise: the. the what.

- Dan and Elise both have C-PTSD (I don't think I have to explain why Dan does, Elise's is from basically being trained as a child soldier & just that she's likely experienced many traumatic things during her job), Elise copes with it mildly better than Dan but she's mostly just better at putting up a front of normality

- also Dan is obviously autistic. he's undiagnosed and doesn't realize until he's in his 20s or 30s. The discovery of noise cancelling headphones make his life a little bit easier

- Chris is also neurodivergent in some way but I haven't narrowed down the flavor yet 😭

- Dan is a trans man this is fact in my head I won't accept anything else, I have like tried to work out timelines and shit just to make it all fit within canon(yes I know most ppl just go screw canon but I just like making things work within it, I'm weird like that). I can't decide if he's had top surgery(post-job at the chicken place, hence the funny note about it) or he just naturally had a small chest and testeorone "masculinized"(for lack of a better word) it somewhat (cause I did prior to going on multiple medications that I could sometimes pass as having a flat chest). He doesn't want bottom surgery cause he doesn't see the point (slightly nsfw: "until they can give me synthetic semen and a prostate I'm not interested"). again mostly projecting there lmao

EDIT: in case this wasn't clear, I mean he sees no point in it for himself, not that he thinks nobody should have bottom surgery

- Dan is a closeted romantic. This is hinted at in canon imo, the thing with the anger management lady is clearly a metaphor for wanting more than a fling. Dan seems to take his romantic attraction to people very seriously, like with Hortence despite not interacting with her much. also his face when Honey kissed him. he's just secretly a big sap who wants to be loved

- Dan is a catboy in spirit. I say in spirit because he has no idea what a catboy is but he's just sooo kitty cat coded. knocks things off tables when annoyed. plays with toilet paper. claws and bites. I hc he meows as a stim with Mr. Mumbles sometimes. Also he hisses at people.

- I know what Chris said in the family cruise ep but I like to think Chris does actually think of Dan as family, mayhaps the holding out the hand scene was a acceptance or realisation of that, maybe that's what the thing he was going to say but forgot towards the end was. this isn't even really a buddyshipping thing it's just that me personally if my best friend didn't consider me family I'd want to jump off a cliff(/j) so I can't handle the thought (seriously though what was Chris going to say. It haunts me.)

- I'll end this on a fuzzy feelings self indulgent headcanon. Dan, Chris and Elise(+ Mr. Mumbles) become a weird little family of ther own. Dan and Elise are like frenemies, who share the same partner, but also deep down they care for each other. platonic love/hate relationship <3

#dan vs #vee type dan/chris/elise #long post

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rotteneldritchhorror · 9 months

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wait we’re allowed to ask about south park? fuck it tell me your south park headcanons fuckboy

well shit this is gonna be a long post because i dont just love the main boys (love is a strong word for some of em) but i also love random obscure characters and even background characters that never speak soooooo....

also! before i start! i mostly headcanon these characters under the idea that theyre like- 19 since i dont have many thoughts other than canon for while theyre the age theyre at in the show itself

Kenny (starting with my favorite who i project the most onto i think): 5'9, pansexual (and romantic), genderfluid girlboything princessgender princessboy genderfuck genderpunk ADHDgender hypererotigender wingedgender transfemme who steals money from their parents to buy estrogen off of like- amazon in bulk and probably sells some to other transfemmes with shitty parents who wont let them transition. for pronouns, is definitely fine with any and all, literally impossible to misgender this creature, but prefers he/she/they/it/xe/ze/angel pronouns. probably started growing his hair out at like 15 and gave up on trying to keep it short and managable, steals makeup from the dollar store for both herself and it's sister, definitely goes punk at some point (all of his pants are crust pants cause they dont get washed /j), and has a shit tonne of patched clothing both for necessity (he still owns his parka even though hes too big for it, probably cut up the sides and sized it up with a bunch of old clothes that dont get used anymore in the family, definitely has stick and poke tattoos (he probably gave a cute lil bow or heart stick and poke tattoo to Karen and angelself a matching one so theyd always have a reminder of each other no matter what) and definitely is the resident bootleg piercer for those who wanted them when they were younger but their parents didnt let them (Craig, stan, probably kyle, definitely tweek) or those who just straight up dont have the money to get professionally pierced. full of many disorders, specifically: autism, ADHD, bipolar, c-ptsd, BPD, combined generalised and focal photosensitive epilepsy, and probably some level of psychosis from all the trauma and drugs

(thats so much and its just one character lol- welcome)

i dont have many hcs about the other 3 main boys?

Kyle: asexual (sex-favourable or indifferent), biromantic, 5'11, transneu agender enby who uses he/they pronouns. has ADHD and his canonical diabetes

Stan: 5'10, bi demiboy and nonbinary man who uses he/they/it pronouns. Puerto Rican/asian/white mixed (i flip flop between east asian or south-east asian, or both- but we vibe). has depression ADHD, BPD and autism, probably got more into grungy/fairy grunge/whimsigoth fashion as he got older, or at least tries to marry goth, grunge and hippie fashion cause he definitely still holds the values associated with those subcultures, probably got suppppeeerrr into politics and protesting at some point, probably steals signs, probably collaborates with Kenny to steal from big stores (just kenny does it to survive and stan does it out of principle)

Cartman: 5'4 and VERY insecure about it, bi and transfemme but like super hyper closeted (i think he probably eventually gets more chill with his own sexuality, but is super super mega bigoted about literally everyone else. him being into men is fine but anyone else is a fag (derogatory). i have hcs for his disorders but i feel like listing them automatically sounds like im demonising them when im not

Butters: 5'5 (and eric fucking HATES her for it), demisexual and pan, nonbinary genderqueer genderfae bungender/traumabungender sanriogender hellokittygender autigender transfemme demigirl who uses she/they/he/bun/soft/lu/🌸/🌈/☀️/🌧/🫧/🪻/🩰/🧼/🎀/🌀 pronouns. has... so many disorders. Autism, c-ptsd, ptsd, night terrors, dissociative amnesia, DPD, delusional disorder, Alice in Wonderland syndrome and a complete blindness in his left eye (for kinda obvious reasons? maybe?). bun changes their name (legally) to Marjorine Leopold Stotch as soon as she turned 18 (without her parents permission), but still uses the nickname Butters because it doesnt feel that gendered to lu. soft sometimes has delusions of being in VR or dead. His parents refuse his diagnoses because it means they did something wrong (which they obviously did lol) so they dont give him medication, Marj mainly gets 🌸s meds from Kenny, Tweek, Tammy Warner (from that one episode where kenny gets a girlfriend whos a 'slut'), and the goth kids (most of them because they have been perscribed the medication, or, in Kenny's case, because they buy/trade perscription drugs). started transitioning without 🌈 parents' knowledge.

Craig: 5'11, gay and demiromantic, outerspacetix voidgender/agender man who uses he/it pronouns. is just- very mixed- its indigenous/south-east asian/peruvian/black/white and is adopted. has ASPD and autism. his 'exception people' (i dont know if thats the official phrase for it, but people with ASPD apparently can have certain people that bring out strong emotions in them- dont take my word for it though, this is second hand info from someone with ASPD i used to watch on tiktok lol) are Tweek, Thomas (from the tourrettes episode) and Stripe (yes, his guinea pig- sh). he's pretty okay at masking emotions when he needs to (mostly to make his boyfriends feel better and in an attempt to sooth their anxieties). he probably starts getting into grunge/punk at some point during his teens- he probably has a patch jacket/battle jacket thats covered in a mix of political and astrology/space related patches. his spin is space, absolutely.

Clyde: 5'8, spanish/east asian bi man (i go back and forth on whether or not to make him cis or trans or like demiboy??? or just a nonbinary man??? idk- just masc), uses he/they/it pronouns and has ADHD and PTSD.

Jimmy: 5'11, Cupiosexual, demiromantic (both bi oriented), is a cis or genderqueer guy and mainly uses he/him but doesnt really care much if you call him anything else, probably has a couple birth marks and cooovveerrsss his crutches in stickers (he probably has a bunch of random stickers related to all kinda shit, 2/3s of which arent even his, he has like- a shit tonne of stickers related to space, and robots, and dark academia, and hearts, and super heros, or whatever the fuck because his friends just give him stickers sometimes)

Tolkien: 6'0, genderfaun enby, omni with a preference for feminine people, has autism and ADHD, uses he/they pronouns, and has a couple scars from canon events (eg; a scar on his forehead from when cartman pelted him with a rock, and a gunshot scar on his shoulder from cartman shooting him)

Tweek: 5'8, nonbinary tweekgender (namegender) demiboy, gaygaygaygaygay, uses he/they/it/tweek/tic pronouns. has ADHD, autism, anxiety disorders and a panic disorder, paranoid personality disorder, C-PTSD, claustrophobia, tourettes and psychosis. he gets triggered by coffee if he hasnt been around coffee for a while (after a while it becomes less triggering and more part of the constant anxiety and paranoia), has psychotic delusions and hallucinations of bugs, the smell of coffee, gangstalking, etc. hes weirdly friends with the goth kids????? tic hangs out with them (as well as Kenny, Craig and butters) a lot, getting to traumadump, rant about anxieties, and just kinda gossip? and it helps it mellow out a bit. (also tweek has a bunch of scars to do with scratching tics, ripping out piercings, etc)

Wendy/Wendyl: 5'9, south east asian, bi, genderfluid/genderfaer, uses she/they/he/fae pronouns and is autistic. her spin is politics and feminism, he has a couple (brightly colored) patch clothes (definitely a pair of patch shorts and a patch skirt). has a couple scars on their knuckles and one on their cheek from fights she's gotten into (both in canon, and during protests or general people fucking with her). fae definitely does kickboxing and probably hosts an underground self defense class for non-men.

i can probably get into more obscure characters now but this is already long enough and im slowly running out of spoons so im kinda done for now

thank you for listening to my autistic ramblings :)

#🌀#south park #south park headcanons #south park hcs #sp fandom #headcanon #trans hc #my headcanons #long post

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henriiiii-1001old · 11 months

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alt swap au ramblings bc they are rotating in my brain <33333

i just kinda wanted to ramble abt the characters' like personalities and stuff so ye :D

cain murray: pre vol 1 he was very outgoing and enthusiastic! loved meeting people and going out to parties or malls or whatever he felt like doing that day! however post vol 1, his newly diagnosed c-ptsd and general trauma from the incident caused him to shy away from people. he became overly paranoid of everyone around him, including his own siblings. and after the paranoia came the depression, which only worsened his mental state overall. he probably should not have been chosen to be the main face of bps lemme tell you that much.

mabel murray: the most level headed member of bps and is actually the one who came up with the idea for it! she had always been interested in the paranormal, and they also wanted to get to the bottom of the whole alternate situation due to them almost killing his brother. he handles all the online stuff for the group under the alias "stanley" due to its face being on multiple "alternate sighting report" signs all over the counties.

seth murray: struggles with a lot of things, such as emotions, feeling empathy, feeling. anything really. he was diagnosed with both aspd and autism from a young age, and a lot of people think he's basically unapproachable because of said conditions. he likes to be by himself for most of the time, but he does like hanging out with cain and mabel sometimes! he'll crack a few jokes with them here and there, and while he doesn't show it on his face he really does enjoy their company! he also may think davis is a little annoying and way too self centered, but he keeps him busy so he doesn't mind.

thatcher "davis" marshall: very self centered and way too cocky for his own good, but he's generally fun to be around! he's usually one to take really unnecessary risks, but they're usually all in good fun! he's the biggest troublemaker of bps as well, always finding a way to damage properly -- on accident or on purpose no one ever knows) -- or just messes around with the other members to poke fun. however, he is very self conscious about his appearance, and having a demon roommate with your name who constantly looks like your younger self doesn't help. he comes off as someone who would tackle a situation head-on except for the fact he runs from true danger at the first chance he gets.

lilith miller: very snotty and bratty and WILL BITE YOU if provoked. she had a troubled childhood where her parents were constantly fighting about her, which led her to get into multiple fights with classmates from school as a way to mitigate the pain. she most often fought with seth because they absolutely HATED each other and wanted every chance they got to snap at each other. the only place that wanted to hire her was dave because of said past, and she kinda hates him. but she puts up with him because she knows she won't be able to get any other job. she is very suspicious of her employer due to him having the only television in the state, in which tvs were banned for years at this point.

gabriel o'brien: lieutenant of the mcpd except he's less depressed and more concerned for the county. he ended up being the last member of the force due to the whole alternates thing, and he really tries to not let it get to him. he and maria weren't too close, but he did take her death as the first sign that things were definitely going to shit. he also doesn't trust dave very much, but he goes to him whenever he needs help with particular tech stuff regardless.

maria weaver: very softspoken and tried helping others whenever possible. definitely a favorite in the department before her death, and she is remembered dearly, even by those who left the police force. she had always wanted to get to know gabriel better, but she never found the courage to try and talk to him even if she was getting support from other friends in the department. and she unfortunately never got to make that step towards what could have been a really great friendship.

terry "toony" o'brien: gabriel's older twin brother who runs the local church in mandela. terry got the nickname "toony" from being SUPER obsessed with cartoons when he was a kid. he is very softspoken and genuinely cares about the county. while his brother tries to tackle trouble head on, terry is much more passive and tries resolving conflicts with victims of alternates and M.A.D. this did cause a bunch of arguments to spawn between the brothers, which led to terry wanting to cut ties with gabriel and led to his ultimate demise.

dave: literally canon gabriel but with a lil more whimsy. he still runs mandelatech, as it acts as a way to meet and kill victims faster. he keeps in touch with a certain terry o'brien due to selecting him as his "mandela prophet". he doesn't care at all for human life and just fucks around because he's basically god and will do anything to abuse his power, even against his own kind.

adam: one of the most active and most dangerous alts right under dave. he orchestrates a lot of child kidnappings around mandela and sometimes has eve and jonah help. while he is the most active of the alts, he doesn't really talk to them other than for maybe 3 or 4 of them (which would just be jonah, eve, dave, and seth). he's EXTREMELY manipulative and will do anything to get his way, even if things have to go off script for that to happen. the most prominent example of this would be adam having to tell seth the truth on his home computer instead of the basement.

eve: an accomplice to adam who helps adam kidnap and kill children for. whatever the canon reason would be. she mostly likes to occupy mirrors and creep in the shadows. in terms of kidnapping children, she'd be like a "motherly" figure, calming the children down when they get upset and making it seem like going with her would take them to a happier place with a happier family. of course it's all lies, and she loves to make them, especially when taunting a certain lilith miller.

jonah: an accomplice to adam and eve who also assists with their child kidnapping schemes by distracting children with a luring them in with a cartoon or some other sort of child friendly show. he is generally afraid of adam due to how often he bursts out in anger in front of jonah, but he takes it and pushes his own feelings down. he reluctantly follows dave's orders and hopes for the best really.

ruth: doesn't like to interact with other alternates often, and she isn't the biggest fan of causing deaths and stuff. she'd rather spread M.A.D. and be done for the day. she is only slightly tolerable of dave due to her working for him, but she seems to like "thatcher"? they've hung out a few times, and it was always awkward, but they'd sometimes like some quiet time and they'd enjoy each other's company anyway. she's probably met davis before, in which she'd think he's iffy. she think he'd only get in the way of whatever dave's plan is and almost killed him one time to try and ease that anxiety.

"thatcher": he is best described as just a lil guy bc that's really what he is! he is very curious about people overall and tries his best to not fulfill his alternate duties. his best excuse to do this without too many questions from other alts is stalking/rooming with davis and taking his appearance. he actually was first meant to haunt gabriel after vol 333 events, but thatcher found more interest in davis as he was following gabriel home. he is generally pretty shy and is willing to give a helping hand in whatever someone needs at the moment.

#long post #mandela catalogue #the mandela catalogue #evidence reel #alt swap au #as a quick note yes terry is new #i was thinking of who would fit in with a dave-like role but not really dave #so i picked toonbriel!!!!!#OH ALSO i am planning on drawing all of them again so stay tuned for that :)c

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trashbag-baby666 · 8 months

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Bighorn Mountain Side-Luztoye.

Chapter Twelve.

Chapter Summary: George and Joe find themselves at the county fair, discussing whether Babe is a top or bottom with Bill.

WC: 2,600.

C/W: Mentions of Babe being a bottom and PTSD.

Series Masterlist!

George found himself in another whole new environment, again. This time around it was the County Fair.

But turns out it's a pretty big deal around here.

“So this is another idea of fun for you guys?” George looked at Joe as they walked up and down the barns of farm animals people were showing. There were cash prizes for the animals and stuff.

“Well we gotta go see Bill's cows and Babe and Genes ducks.” Joe explained to him as they walked in the cow barn. George laughed, shaking his head, sure this would be interesting.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Bill laughed as he came around a cow and walked over to them, “We're gonna turn this poor fella into a hick if ya keep bringing him to our shit kicker traditions.” Bill smacked George's shoulder.

Truly, George would do anything that made Joe happy. He cared so deeply for him, George would follow him to the end of the world blindly if that's what Joe wanted.

“I’m starting to feel like one, ya scallywag.” George said as he did a spot on impression of Bill, “Now where are the cows?”

“Oh fuck you too George Speirs,” Bill shook his head, “Now you got yourself a funny guy here Joe, he would’ve loved that goin.”

Joe cut him off, “The going away party for Babes virginity.” Joe laughed nervously, eyeing Bill like he was trying to make him explode with his brain.

“You guys had a party for when Babe lost his virginity?” George laughed, grabbing Joe's shoulder as he bent over, “Who was it?”

“Gene,” Joe looked at him as George straightened up, lifting an eyebrow.

“You’re telling me Babe didn’t get laid till like May? Of this year?” George snickered thinking about how the first time he had sex he was 14.

“Yep,” Bill smirked, “Do you think Gene is the one who usually, you know, like?” Bill thrusted his hips forward slightly.

This caused a fit of laughter between the other two boys. Joe and George grabbed at each other as they laughed, George falling into Joe slightly.

“What's so funny?” Bill furrowed his eyebrows, a look of confusion on his face.

“Babe is the biggest bottom any of us have ever met.” Joe exclaimed.

“Literally and figuratively,” George smiled. Babe would never hear the end from it about the fact he was like six foot, five inches.

“He’s on the basketball team,” Joe looked at George as he slipped an arm around George's waist.

“But he sucks at all things sports? Except for hockey.” George had seen the hockey trophies in Babes room. Plus Babe would often have a puck and a hockey stick out. Running around his driveway and George would watch him.

“He’s just there to psych out the other team because he's so tall but he's really good at blocking.” Joe explained to George, his mouth falling into an O shape.

“Now do ya fucker’s wanna come see my cows or are we gonna keep yabbin’ about, Heffron?” Bill asked.

“Let's go see Bill's dairy farm,” George patted Joe's back as they walked down the barn to where Bill had three of his cows. The ones that produce the most milk, was what Bill had told them last week.

“Now this is Bertha,” Bill patted the neck of a cow as she stood in a stall. Bertha had a pink ribbed tied around her neck.

“She's a distinguished lady,” George smiled.

“My sisters tie them on the cows for fair season, see look at Ms. Daisy.” Bill walked down another one and gave the other cow some pats.

“That color looks so good on you,” George said observing the blue jean colored ribbon tied on her.

“I never get used to ya guys yappin’ at your animals.” Bill shook his head. He saw the way Joe talked to his horses or Babes ducks or the other farm dogs at Genes grandmas. Or the way George would talk to Petunia and talk for her too, George was insistent Petunia talked like a southern bell.

“You don’t talk to yours, Bill?” George said almost like he was offended.

“Well like a normal person would? I don’t give them voices.” Bill pointed at the two of them.

“Okay, we should mooove on,” George chuckled at his own joke.

“Yeah we should go see Babes ducks, he said he edited photos of them as their designated Hunger Games character. I’m dying to see Peeta the duck as Peeta.” Joe took George's hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Yeah I gotta go talk to the judges and show them my girls.” Bill nodded seeing them off.

They walked into the small animal barn, “Hey guys!” Babe turned holding a duck with a blonde colored yarn wig on.

“That must be The one! And only! Peeta Quacklark,” George came over to him.

“I was just about to put him back in his cage,” Babe said, letting George pet his duck, then Gene came around them holding a duck with a long braided poorly made yarn wig.

“Quackniss Everdeen?!” George clasped his hands together, “Oh my gosh I’m such a huge fan! Joe take my photo with them!” Joe fished his phone from his pocket and pulled up the camera.

Gene and Babe held the ducks next to George as he took a photo op with them.

“Is Duckale Hawthorne here?” George smirked.

“No he had to stay back, he’s bad with other ducks.” Gene explained.

“Let's just say there's a reason his name is Duckale.” Babe nodded with a wink talking about the unlikable character that was Gale Hawthore.

“What’re you guys doing here?” Babe asked, putting the two ducks back in their cages.

“I’m here to show him what a good ol’ county fair was about. We just saw Bill and his cows.” Joe nodded.

“Oh you’ve never been to a fair?” Babe asked confusedly, tilting his head slightly.

“Well yeah I’ve been to a fair, just usually not ones with animals and belt buckles.” George snickered; he had noticed how everyone dressed like a shit kicker or people overly dressed up rhinestone button ups, cowboy hats, cowboy boots, giant bedazzled belt buckles.

Even Bill had on a big belt buckle with a cow on it.

Gene smirked a bit, “You shoulda saw how I felt when I moved here from France.” A more potenter accent poking out.

“You’re from France?” George asked point at the dark haired boy he didn’t know very well after all, “You don’t sound french? You sound like those guys in that one episode of Scooby Doo where they’re in New Orleans.”

“Well I’m actually from the bayou in Louisiana but I moved to France with my grandma when I was 12. I have dual citizenship, then we moved here last year.” Gene explained.

“That's really cool,” George nodded.

Gene checked his watch, “I gotta eat something.”

“Or else your diabetes will act up?” Babe asked more poking fun, most of the friend group made fun of Gene for being diabetic. It was all in good fun of course Gene made fun of it too.

“Yes Babe, or else my diabetes will act up.” Gene said with a tone of sarcasm.

“Do you guys wanna grab a bite to eat?” Babe asked.

“No, we ate before we came actually. We were going to go see my sisters and their horses. They have their little drill team performance going on soon.” Joe explained.

“Okay well are you guys going to the rodeo tonight?” Babe rocked back and forth on his feet.

“Yeah, we will!” George responded and looked at Joe, “Joe you stinker! You didn’t tell me they were doing a rodeo tonight.

Joe didn’t tell George because in four days it would be the anniversary of the bull crushing his leg at the rodeo last year. He still couldn’t really handle being at the rodeos without feeling nauseated and increasingly depressed.

“Oh I didn’t? I thought I told you last week,” Joe smiled nervously hoping they would buy it.

George shrugged, “Maybe you know how bad my memory is.”

“Well, we're gonna go eat and we will see you tonight.” Babe waved to them as he took Gene's hand and Babe literally skipped out.

George and Joe swung their hands as they walked over to the small arena where they showed their animals. A girl came around the corner with caramel brown hair and soft blue eyes. She sported bootcut jeans and some cowboy boots they could hear from a mile away. She also sported a large belt buckle and a baseball tee style shirt with the local 4H logo stamped on it.

“Oh hey Joe!” Frannie smiled walking over to the two of them.

“Hey Frannie, this is my boyfriend George, George this is Frannie Bill's girlfriend.” Joe introduced them.

“Well howdy there city boy, Bill told me lots about you.” Frannie shook his hand.

“Well hopefully good things,” George smiled, “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“All good things, but if Bill gives you any trouble just ignore him. Love him but he's a dumb ass.” Frannie snickered.

“So are you guys gonna come see me ride tonight?” Frannie asked.

“At the rodeo? Yeah!” George looked between the two of them.

“Yeah! I barrel race.” Frannie nodded.

“That’s really cool, I’ve seen videos of it on tik tok.” George's friends seemed to have a really good taste in partners and people. George hasn't met a single person he didn’t like. Well except for this kid Herbert Sobel who worked at Home Depot and always had an attitude with him. The guys just said to not listen to him and that he was an asshole.

“Yeah, I’ll see you guys there.” Frannie waved to them and walked into the horse barn.

“She seems nice,” George nodded.

“She's the sweetest, she's exactly what Bill needs, a rational person.” Joe explained, “Plus Bill is super in love with her too.”

They sat on the bleachers as the kids waited in line to show their horses.

“Welcome out tonight Cody, Wyoming. You’ve found yourself at our local rodeo.” The announcer came over the loudspeakers as they sat in the bleachers at the rodeo. George was so excited for tonight and Joe thought it was beyond funny. He even talked him into wearing his belt buckle from his bull riding days.

“I’m so excited!” George snickered sitting down in between Joe and Babe.

“This is so funny,” Babe giggled, taking a handful of popcorn from George's bag, “Right Joe?”

Joe stared at the dirt all over, suddenly Joe could feel the wind get knocked out of him as he smacked against the ground the dirt flying all over.

Suddenly Joe felt the searing pain in his knee. Not even his knee, the phantom pains suddenly shooting up and down his leg.

Joe stood up, “ I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” Joe stumbled over himself as he ran to the bathroom and yanked his jeans down, sitting down and pulling his leg off and then his liner. He breathed heavily as he closed his eyes and began stroking a single finger down his stump slowly. He tried to remind himself to take deep breaths as he felt himself slipping in and out of a PTSD induced panic. He squeezed his eyes shut as he added a second finger to gently massage himself till the phantom pains went away.

“Fuck,” Joe murmured to himself as he felt tears begin to prick his eyes from the pain.

He continued to rub the pads of his finger up and down till it became just a small tingling before he put his leg back on .

Joe walked out of the bathroom and continued trying to take even breathes. He walked down to their spot and saw Lieb and Web had joined them.

“Hey Joe,” Web waved as Joe came back over.

“Hey,” Joe smiled as he filed in and sat next to George.

“Are you okay darling?” George asked quietly as Joe sat back down.

“Yeah, just the fair food was making me feel all pukey.” Joe frowned, “I think I’ll be fine, can I have a drink of your water?”

“Yeah,” George bent down a bit and grabbed the metal water bottle off the ground.

“Thanks,” Joe took a few drinks and handed it back to George.

Bill came over to join them right before barrel racing started. Bill would help out with the animals. He always wanted to ride bulls but his mom wouldn’t let him.

“Hey guys,” Bill sat by them, “How's your night?”

“Fine,” Joe shrugged. Bill could tell something was up by Joe's body language and how he sounded.

Bill kept giving Joe side glances as the rodeo went on. Joe was stiff and he kept adjusting his position.

“Next up we have Cody’s under 18 barrel racing champion! Frannie Purnell and her horse Bonney!” The announcer called.

“Yeah Frannie!” Babe yelled.

“Frannie!” Bill cheered.

George watched in utter shock as Frannie raced the track. “Folks, we have our fastest time of the night so far! Frannie must be ready to defend her title with a time of 14.45 seconds!” The announcer called.

The guys all jumped up, “Way to go Frannie!” Babe and Gene yelled as they all cheered and clapped.

Joe sat back down and kept his eyes focused on pretty much anything except for the dirt arena by the bull shoots.

When the bull riding under 18 competition was announced Joe swallowed hard, “I’m excited to see what my hunk is so good at.” George giggled and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“George,” Joe said a bit with an edge to his tone and kind of shoved him off a bit.

“Sorry,” George frowned and moved away from him just slightly.

Joe could feel the pain start to come back as it began watching boys his age do what he should be doing.

George looked over at Joe, “Is something wrong?” George frowned as he sat the painful stare on Joe's face.

“Yes, I'm fine George.” Joe said with a little bit of an edge. George looked over at Bill, both of them sharing a look that spoke the words of something that was up with Joe.

Joe could feel his heart beat in his ears as rider after rider went. The phantom pains and tingling getting worse by the minute. He could begin to feel an uncomfortable pressure in his chest, his vision going blurry and he gripped his thighs to try and ground him.

“Joe, are you sure everything is okay?” George rested his hand on top of Joes.

“Yes George I’m fine. Now stop asking.” Joe snapped feeling himself come back down to reality. George jumped back slightly as Joe unexpectedly yelled at him. George felt tears begin to prick against his eyes and he tried to swallow the lump growing in his throat.

“Come on,” Bill stood up and grabbed Joe's arm, basically pulling the other boy out.

“Are you okay?” Babe asked, looking at his friend.

“Yeah,” George whispered as he tried to contain the tears beginning to fall down his cheeks. George didn’t understand why Joe had yelled at him, did he do something wrong? Maybe he shouldn’t have made Joe come tonight?

#band of brothers #george luz #joe toye #luztoye #joe liebgott #david webster #webgott #babe heffron #eugene roe #bill guarnere #modern au

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jerzwriter · 2 years

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15, 16 & 17 for Ethan, Tobias & C/K, please!

Hey there - I have officially recovered from your earlier Tobias ask 😂😂😂 - so let's get to it!

15. What it takes to make them cry

Ethan: He's more emotional than he likes to let on, but years of teaching himself how to repress those emotions took it's toll. But fear of anything happening to the people he loves most can turn on the waterworks - but only after he's explored all possibilities, done all he can. Once Emma is born, SHE is the biggest cause of tears, good and bad, in his life. The first time she says, "Daddy", every time she says, "I love you, Daddy." When she tugs his hand as he walks her to school - he's a mess.

Tobias: Memories of his father, memories of the night Casey almost died (chemical attack), and the time after. He was a rock for her and helped her deal with her PTSD immediately after, but as often happens, we cope when we need to, but then the memories of it after can bring out the waterworks. If you REALLY want to see waterworks, wait for the Baby #3 fic... our boy falls apart.

Kaycee: She's a crier, and she's not ashamed of it. She thinks it is cathartic and can help her move on to the next thing. So if she has an especially rough day at work, she'll sit in an on-call room (or later an office) and let it out. She is also a happy crier, which really left Ethan perplexed, but also enchanted. She cries when Santa arrives at Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, she cries when she watches It's a Wonderful Life, and she cries when she listens to Folklore and Evermore... so she cries. lol

Casey: Remember, Casey and Kaycee are essentially the same, so they're both criers, but Casey does it a little less UNTIL after the attack. She really has more PTSD in this world than the other and it really sparks the anxiety disorder she's had since she's a child. After that, waterworks can turn on much more easily. She spent a lot of time crying in the months following the attack, but like Kaycee, she thinks it helped her heal. Both women are total waterworks with their babies. They cry at milestones all the time. Especially Kaycee, since Emma is her only child, every first is also a last, and it makes it so poignant.

16. Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet

OOFHH. I almost feel like I need more time with this one. I want to make it good. But I promised answers tonight. So I'm going to ask you - give me til Friday and PLEASE remind me if I don't, OK :) (I take this shit too seriously! lol)

17. Regrets

Ethan: Not convincing Dolores to have the c-section immediately. Hurting Kaycee during his "reset" era. Allowing his pain to create issues between him and Alan during his teens/early adult years.

Tobias: Not making peace with his father before his death. Not meeting Casey sooner.

Kaycee & Casey: Not calling the police to handle the situation when they realized Travis was poisoning Farrugia.

#ethan ramsey #tobias carrick #kaycee macclennan #casey mactavish #asks answered

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mischiefmanifold · 2 years

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Hi!

I’ve been seeing someone who I suspect may have undiagnosed npd. I’m trying to educate myself more about this, but so much of the info is negative and ableist.

He puts himself down to get more validation and has low empathy. The relationship is really on “his time”. He struggles with anxiety and depression when “little things” go wrong. But there’s none of these “abusive” symptoms present like gaslighting, or putting down others, or belittling me. I enjoy being with him and know that there would be things we need to work on together, but everything online is all “break up immediately, narcissists can never love you back”. He’s human and dealing with trauma just like a lot of other people, and I think it’s shit that all I can find is advice from abled people saying to just leave. What advice do you have as someone with npd?

Hi, Anon!

I think it’s very sweet that you want to help your boyfriend, and I agree that the vast majority of resources on NPD are ableist and horribly stigmatizing.

I can really relate to your description of your boyfriend’s traits because that’s how my NPD presents for a good amount of my alters. I would like to point out that as of the most recent revised DSM criteria, manipulation/abuse is NOT a symptom. It can absolutely be a negative manifestation of traits and bad choices made on the part of the person who has NPD, but nobody with NPD is inherently abusive or manipulative and abuse/manipulation is not a criteria to be diagnosed with NPD.

So yes, based on your description of him, he could possibly have NPD. You say he’s dealing with trauma, so he could (also?) have a disorder like PTSD/C-PTSD that could be causing these symptoms.

My advice is to be patient with him, to help him as much as possible while not allowing him to break your boundaries and hurt you. Maybe bring up the traits you’ve been noticing in him (if he’s okay with you voicing your observations) and if he has a therapist or psychiatrist he can bring these symptoms up with them. Make sure to voice when you’ve been hurt, even accidentally, because often traumatized people struggle with realizing when we’ve hurt others.

[ Please acknowledge that Mars’ inbox is not a substitute for professional observation and opinion. If you are experiencing symptoms that are concerning to you, please seek professional help as soon as possible. Some of the conditions and symptoms Mars speaks about on xer page can be dangerous or even deadly and often have long-lasting effects when not treated. Do not neglect your health. ]

#nico [🪦]#keith [⚔️]#nico wrote the post and I added the warning #asks answered #npd tag #anon asks #advice asks #npd #npd awareness #narcissist awareness #narcissism #narcissist #narcissistic #narcissistic personality disorder

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sophieinwonderland · 2 years

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Re the last syscourse you reblogged... Comparing being plural and endogenic to being straight when being plural at all is by far the minority for people leaves a bad taste in my mouth not gonna lie. Like. What is that endos can "pass" as neurotypical is that the argument here? 🤔 Also endos I've seen aren't making 'not having trauma a huge part of their identity.' Most everyone has some sort of trauma; that's just part of being alive. They're saying their trauma didn't directly trigger their plurality. You don't have to post this bc I'm sure it'll kick up more shit but I feel it's at least worth touching on those points bc they're... weird.

Yeah, there was a lot of strangeness to the post from @memory-system-syscourse, and that thread as a whole, which I didn't have a chance to get into.

For the first part, I wonder if it might be a lack of awareness of how other people think. I've confronted other anti-endo systems about how we're different people with our own thought and emotions, and how we can talk to each other internally, and even get into arguments or have to comfort each other... and have been told that everyone has facets and that this is a normal experience...

Obviously, it's not. Being a tulpa system that formed in adulthood affords us a pretty decent perspective on how singlets think, and how that differs from how we think now that we're plural.

But I wonder if, for systems who have always been plural, they lack this context. It's like how someone with aphantasia might assume that people in TV imagining things is just something invented by the media and not something real people do. They just don't have context for how the average person's thought processes work.

So maybe it's not about being "singlet-passing," but them literally not understanding the difference between the mind of a singlet and the mind of a plural system without DID. I would hope that's it, because I don't like the implication that discrimination doesn't matter as long as you can successfully mask and fake being something that you're not.

As for trauma, that too. I don't know of many systems who say they never experienced anything traumatic in their life. Even my host, who was very sheltered, went through an experience that left him with PTSD-like symptoms for a couple years after. But that was when he was 16, long after the cutoff point for the formation of DID, and long before I showed up.

And while we're at it, traumagenic isn't synonymous with OSDD/DID. Queerautism was tagged in that same post, but is a traumagenic system that formed in adulthood and isn't disordered.

If our plurality became impairing or distressing in some way, we might qualify for an OSDD diagnosis despite not having trauma. If it didn't meet that criteria but I was created to cope with a traumatic event, we would be traumagenic without OSDD or DID.

And I still haven't touched @syscoursehell's claim that the endogenic community "centers itself on demedicalizing a condition." People saying they don't have a disorder isn't the same as trying to demedicalize that disorder. If they're saying that multiplicity as a whole is the thing that's being demedicalized, I would point to criterion C. "The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning."

For all intents and purposes, multiplicity has been demedicalized since 2013, when it became a requirement that distress or impairment is necessary for something to be a disorder. Endogenic systems aren't trying to demedicalize anything because it's already not considered a medical condition unless it meets that criteria. It would be more accurate to say that anti-endos are trying to medicalize neurodivergent experiences that aren't inherently medical.

And the ICD directly acknowledges the existence of plurality outside of the contexts of OSDD/DID.

I feel like there's even more I could get into from that thread, but this post is quite long enough as it is.

#ask box #pro endo #pro endogenic #syscourse #endogenic #discourse

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reilleclan-blog · 3 months

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I liked this shot even though it was a bit dark

Below is a detailed adhd filled description of my morning. Yes I "yap" ie I fucking talk cause this is my fucking blog if that bothers u kindly scroll, ty. Also I heavily hate the term "yapping" if u say that to someone cause they are talking about something they are passionate about , fuck u. I have anxiety just thinking I annoy anyone I interact with and now u tell me I'm "yapping" when u didn't even have to interact at all

So I work part time helping senior citizens, not to taxing work but it is when I'm mentally ill, have ptsd and just self diagnosed adhd-autistic so I have a hard time being positive and/or wanting to work when I'm physically exhausted. Either way I went to work(oh yeah I stayed up super late cause I couldn't fall asleep) I have a headache but I'm like "we usually chill so today SHOULD BE FINE" even though, I don't ever really relax cause this isn't my house but working has been a decent escape. And we usually watch movies after I've thrown out garbage and washed dishes. And there was a movie from Friday that we hadn't finished but I didn't really care for finishing it so I decided to put in a comedy "parks and rec" this man is still getting dressed so I'm watching the show. He comes out of his room just walking around, turning off lights, going in and out of his room, and even opening the front door all b/c he didn't want to watch the show I put on.

And to be frank I don't think I would've cared if he had already said he wanted to watch something, I usually change my mind but.. anyways he passive aggressively takes a movie and puts it next to my movie case. Then continues to walk around this small ass apartment like a weirdo(omg it's his apartment) it's just weird we usually watch the show together but he didn't want to watch my show so bad that he'd rather give himself random ass "tasks" until I asked is he "expecting someone" then like a child he goes "I DONT WANNA WATCH THISSSSS" and I felt hella offended b/c he's the same man saying it's ok to watch what I wanted... so I'm just like ok..... so what. Then he says "I thought u were gonna put the other movie on.." as if I can't change my mind.. like this is genuinely why I don't really trust men relatively ever. This man is sounding like a whole little kid cause something he could watch at whatever time whenever wasn't playing.

And honestly he starts walking around the apartment again b/c for the life of him he can't bother to try and watch a show I brought. I was just like do u want me to leave b/c he's genuinely doing the fucking most and I didn't have time to get into a petty argument on a fucking Monday about a movie when I stay there for like 2 fucking hours. Like ur doing wayyyy too much sir. Anyways I just left early b/c that genuinely creeped me out and it was way too early for this petty ass baby shit... GENUINELY wtf is wrong with ppl.. like he takes a ton of meds so I didn't want to be "rude" about his certain "behaviors" but like that was just so weird. And it's not the first time he's done weird ass shit. But that was the time he really was rude... anyways yeah. I feel like if I explained this to a friend over the phone they would laugh and be like what the fuck is wrong with him.. yeah that was my morning and getting to his place I have to take a bus then walk like 10 blocks💀(on a bus full of ppl not masking and a guy cat called me when I was walking to my JOB) so I mean I still get my hours but wtf ..

#cyberpunk 2077 #virtual photography #cyberpunk #cyberpunk 2077 photomode #male v cyberpunk #cd projekt red #cp2077

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goblinselfshippr · 8 months

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2/2 of me projecting onto a game and character that really isnt that deep (it is to ME) i think this is way longer than the first sorry. (Part 1 here)

PS- if it isn't clear at this point I'm saying that wizard training causes c-ptsd because that cannot be good for your health. So "Delusion" being a prerequisite to Conjuring (I have no idea if this is a "correct" term, I personally take no offense to it, but lmk if you do, I guess). Some evidence: you can summon minions to help fight with you if you choose- which was the main reason I kept Myth when I took the personality quiz instead of switching to Ice (previously my fave school). Now these minions are common enemies in the game like haunted dolls, trolls, and Cyclops (does that have a plural?? Idk) with one main difference: the ones you summon look different from the actual enemies. Most notable is that the minions aren't as big as the actual enemies. There are slight color differences too, but their height is way more noticeable. Cyclops are usually like 2 players tall, but Cyclops Minions are maybe 1.3 players tall.

And yeah yeah yeah its to differentiate between the spells. Shut up. We are choosing to ignore reality. ANYWAY.

Conjuration is described as "where shadowy forms of thought become real" and "when imagination becomes too fanciful and whimsical these dreams take on life and run loose." SO LIKE. All the Myth bosses and allies must've been somebody's imaginary friends at one time. It would explain why there are bosses or characters with familiar names but don't quite fit their tales- for example, Apollo is a rooster who fucks your shit UP.

Yes I swear we are coming back around to Cyrus, I can't control how my brain categorizes things. There's not a lot said about his family other than they aren't really there. He's left alone from presumably a young age because his father is some big name battlemage, there's zero mention of a mother figure, and his brother would rather play in a graveyard (also convinced Cyrus was afraid of his own shadow as a kid bc I wouldn't put it past Mal to actually summon a demon under his bed). He hides in his room and either paints his daydreams or reads fantasy novels.

Omg he just like me fr except instead of painting I write fanfic that no one ever reads. It’s for my eyes only

From my own experience, you get lonely and bored, and you want friends, but never learn. And his father doesn't sound like the most supportive guy in the world- he seems kind of salty that neither of his kids want to practice Pyromancy like him. So poor Cy was probably just dismissed and ignored and had to go back to his sanctuary.

Cyrus doesn't actually become interested in any sort of spell casting until he's like 18-19, and Mal gets his ass kicked by a Conjurer. Bro really said "damn I can make my daydreams fight for me?" And just did that for the rest of his life, LOL. Wish that were me.

Cyrus is (admittedly) not the best teacher. Like, yeah, he's a dick but most people can think of at least one teacher in their life that everyone called an asshole that they eventually grew to appreciate even if it wasn't personally true. Cyrus, on the other hand, straight up begs you to leave him alone (same). Like the only time he speaks to you is when you irritate him enough or he suddenly remembers you exist. And I'm pretty sure at one point he even tells you he forgot you were in his class. -1000/10 teacher. Problematic fave. I would either hate him or only like him because he leaves me the hell alone. So what is he doing if not dutifully teaching his students?

According to his about page, enjoying the quiet or researching. Doubt. But then, daydreaming until you summon something could likely count as research for Myth. So yeah I think the reason why he's a massive douchebag is because he found a way to profit off his maladaptive daydreaming, and the only downside is he has to tell a couple of kids to scram every now and then. I guess I could have just lead with that. Rip.

#💚[Spillways]

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inflamearc · 11 months

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i never would've put it in those Exact Terms if dana hadn't been the genius who said 'em first, but. so much of laura's trademark rage is the direct result of quite literally being denied even the space to like, doodle her name with anybody else's on her schoolbooks, or even in her diary. she's not even allowed to think about her feelings for the boy (or, later, girl) she's crazy about. she's BARELY 17.5 when she dies and for five years she hasn't so much as like, had a sleepover with her friends or gossiped about cute guys or Who Likes Who: she never got to bond with any other girls over that kind of fun stuff because she never got to have it. when they were all having their first kisses laura already thought she was irredeemably impure and that she would put them at risk even by being around them. so much of her diary even in the Recent Days/Years is literally just... laura being so desperately sad that she can't worry about normal things. that she can't just be a kid and make out with her boyfriend and tell him she loves him without worrying he will DIE because of it.

so, like, yeah, she's mad. yeah, she takes it out on people like donna and james who she thinks have had Normal Lives --- and yeah, on a level, she wants to hurt them. she doesn't, at least not very well, but it's there. the thing about laura is that she DOES know, on a level, that she doesn't deserve to be hurt. she struggles with the ocd worrying that it's 'her fault' --- that she causes it somehow, with her thoughts or actions --- but she knows she didn't. she knows lots of things she isn't always aware of. most importantly, here: she knows she's a kid. the men in her life are always treating her like she's not, but they don't fool her! she hates them for it! she'll absolutely use them however she can to get whatever she can, while she's Not In A Position To Change Things Anyway, but she doesn't buy that 'laura is A Woman' shit. she doesn't want to. she doesn't want to be an adult. she wants what has been denied to her. she wants to be parented. she wants to be told what to do by someone who actually cares. she wants to experience life on her own terms and at her own pace. she wants her mom to read her stuart little, for fuck's sake. and she wants to stop pretending she is not so incredibly full of love and tenderness for so many people and places and things. it's really not so much to ask. whereas many (if not most) survivors of trauma / people with c-ptsd in particular often just want to Stop Feeling, all laura has ever asked for has been the freedom to do so without it putting her in danger ... she's angry but she isn't cynical :-( she does still believe that's all possible :-(

#study.#rape m //#csa //

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cosmicclownboy · 3 years

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hi- why don't you like Maria?

Oh lord.

Where do I even begin with Maria.

Season 1

Makes a joke about Alex's secret relationship being with Wyatt and finding it funny- (Wyatt who is an abusive racist dude who commits hate crimes and bear in mind she knows Alex was abused for being gay) IT'S GROSS.

Speaks about Alex's secret relationship guy being his home to Alex and literally feels his hopefulness because it is part of her alien ability and continues to pursue Michael in s2.

Maria (straight) outs Michael to Liz. That's not okay on any level.

When Liz tells Maria to speak to Alex before doing anything she ignores the advice and does what she wants.

She's really smug about Michael picking/pursuing her like she won.

Season 2

Pursues Michael at a funeral in front of Alex without talking to him.

Makes Michael's loved ones husband funeral about a relationship status

Slut shames a random woman who makes out with Michael when they were never exclusive

Enters a relationship with Michael where he has to be exclusive but she doesn't because she doesn't believe he could be faithful. That's reeks of harmful biphobia stereotypes.

Ignores Alex the whole time UNTIL she needs something.

When she appears at Alex's door she says they are even. AKA comparing Alex not telling her a secret that wasn't his to share to her pursuing the love of his life in front of him without any empathy and ignoring the whole time.

Bitches to Alex about Liz and wanting fuck all to do with her. Alex has to remind her Liz has a dead boyfriend and is struggling cause Maria only has Maria vision and lacks empathy for her 'best friends'.

Uses her mom's laptop to get the scope on Alex/Michael's relationship which reads 100% manipulative. She even says Michael is pushing you away and then proceeds to encourage the narrative where Michael pushes Alex away because she suddenly wants Michael. And of course Alex is supportive she recognises he lacks self worth and rolls over him.

Beginning of 2x06 she tries to set up Forlex to get Alex away from Michael. Once again manipulative.

Tries to make Alex feel guilty for being gay in 206 because when she was a kid she idealised being with him and had to come up with a whole new plan. He grew up in an abusive household you know that....It's not okay to say that. You know how much internalised homophobia he has.

When saying he's had good relationships provides only examples of relationships with women......................HE IS GAY.

Asks him if he would change being gay.......jfc.

Alex tearfully saying he dissociates with women because he clearly forced himself to out of internalised phobia, Maria takes it to mean she has a chance. She thinks she's the exception since a touch starved abuse victim liked to be touched by her in high school. That doesn't = consent.

When Alex, a whole ass Airforce Captain tells her it's unsafe to stay at the creepo's place she acts all I am feminist about it and this results in Alex being stabbed and Michael getting whacked on the head.

Earlier in the episode she whinges to Alex about Michael kissing another woman in front of her and how cruel it was and then proceeds to kiss Michael in front of Alex KNOWING how he feels for Michael.

In THAT scene it's clear she notices Michael's emotions towards Alex and is insecure about it. She uses Malex's feelings for each other to her advantage. She's chasing the fantasy of getting with Alex. These are two highly traumatised queer men who struggle to say no because they spent their lives in abusive environments.

Neither Michael or Alex were in a position to consent to sex that night Michael is concussed from a whack on the head . Alex has lost a lot of blood and is completely out of it. And neither would ever initiate that situation. Not to mention the assumption Michael would be down because he's bi is so harmful as a stereotype.

"I think she’s cool with her decision. She wanted some answers, so subconsciously there was an emotional comfort she needed. But she also had a little bit of an agenda. She needed some decisions made about the status of their relationships, so she thought, “Let’s throw everything against the wall and see where it lands.” I think she was just wondering if they made any progress on that front. She said it was OK for their feelings to be out in the open, but let’s just voice them for what they are. As we saw, Michael stepped up and was like, “No, I still love you and I’m with you.” Secretly, that’s what Maria was hoping for. By suggesting a threesome, she’s was basically telling Michael, “Make your choice… and I hope it’s me.” this is what Heather said about the scene. So not only was it coercive and such but she used her best friend like that with no care or empathy whatsoever. It's disgraceful.

The next day both Michael and Alex are confused by what the fuck happened. Alex due to his C-PTSD completely dissociates from the situation and Michael attempts to laugh it off despite him being hella confused. The only person who isn't confused is Maria who is listening to them from inside.

When Michael comes in she turns on the tears just in case he does want Alex afterwards. Bear in mind she is a psychic who can feel everything and she assumed Michael was going to go after Alex. Doesn't that say it all. SHE KNOWS MICHAEL IS IN LOVE WITH ALEX AND VICE VERSA. She does not care, because at the end of the day this is what she wants. She wants to win. She wants to treat Michael like this trophy that she can show off to people I got the great Michael Guerin not a relationship guy to date me.

When Michael wants to have emotional conversations she shuts it down for sex. The entirety of the relationship it has to be her way or the high way. She also recognises fairly on his abandonment issues and plays upon it, reads manipulative.

When Michael who has lost his mom and brother in the span of a few months asks Maria to be more careful about her abilities she doesn't listen. And ultimately breaks up with Michael when she can't get what she wants from him which is a yes man who will do what she says and isn't the idealised Michael she wants.

Season 3

Shits on Michael any chance she gets. She's so mean to him and he goes out of his way to look out for her.

Is dismissive of her own health despite the fact that everybody goes out of their way to help her. Liz is in California working on a way to help her. Kyle is risking his job.etc

Is fine with Liz, her best friend losing the love of her life to get a vision to prevent a murder. A vision she's only invested in because apparently in it she blames herself.

Is fine with Max or Kyle dealing with the guilt of her death had Michael not saved her.

Shoves Michael and belittles him because he's stronger then her. Infers he just sits on his ass and does nothing therefore does not care about anything....rude. There's also a weird superiority complex that her power is more important then Michaels or any of pod squad for that matter.

Creates a situation that is so bad that Kyle risks his doctors licence to give her adrenaline. Just take an ice bath or something there are a 1000 ways to give yourself adrenaline without risking your life and risking others.

Doesn't thank or acknowledge what Liz is doing for her honey has spent a FULL YEAR of her life trying to help and your just like yeah I'll let her soulmate die for my visions.

Emotionally guilts Isobel for not hanging out with her despite the fact she's hated her for two seasons and now has just randomly decided she wants to know......okay

This idea that Maria is suddenly lonely when she's the second of the main cast (first being Kyle) to have scenes with all the mains by Monday. Literally everyone is there at her beck and call but Maria is lonely??? IT DOESN'T ADD UP. Everyone's up her arse 9/10 how is she lonely everyone expresses concern and care for her ALL THE DAMN TIME. She's also narratively never had scenes that give the connotation that she is lonely. Michael has scenes that connotate he is lonely. Max and Alex do too. Maria has yet to have scenes that give the connotation of feeling lonely or depressed.

Maria comparing the alien siblings to her and feeling left out when she acts superior to them and they are literally siblings. Literally every character is somewhat left out with Pod Squad they've lived their lives assuming it's just them three against the world it's not a personal attack.

Maria is 1/8 alien at best so diluted genetically it doesn't show up and somehow she believes she has the capability of the aliens who are 100%. Say you have French DNA you don't expect to speak French suddenly.

This whole Maria never does wrong narrative and it's empowering that she's doing all of this just feels like a crock of shit tbh.

She reads like a 2000's movie mean girl.

All of my bullet points are why I don't like h Maria and it's not biased because I'm a so and so fan. Narratively she just wins up doing shitty things to Michael and Alex the most.

#anti maria deluca #rnm spoilers #tw 2x06 mention #tw coercion

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qslovebot · 3 years

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Nobody: Spencer Reid

Summary: After an accident on a case, the reader is left with trauma and anxiety. A miscommunication between her and the person she needs most (Spencer Reid) begins to eat her alive and he just so happens to be the only one there when she breaks again.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings/Includes: mentions of kissing, mentions of traumatizing events (not specified), depictions of anxiety, fluff, miscommunication, angst to fluff

A/N: The song is Nobody by Mitski. Read with this for the ultimate experience.

Sometimes things felt too literal. Words start to sound weird and feel weird when you say them, clothes feel too much like clothes against your skin, the texture of any food in your mouth becomes too prevalent while eating.

These things started happening after you witnessed and endured something awful on a case. You wouldn't dare bring up the full memory in case it took over and killed you all over again. It wasn't PTSD, but it was the cause of your anxiety attacks most of the time when they occurred.

After that case, you spent a week in the hospital where they happened nearly every day and the doctors weren't much help, to be frank. The only people who really ever helped were your friends and the person you were so close to dating, Spencer Reid.

It was a long story. To dumb it down, the case event happened and you and Spencer thought you were about to die so he confessed his feelings for you and of course they were reciprocated. He asked, then and there through stuttering words, 'If we make it out of here please go out with me?" As his last bit of hope, and he kissed you before you were taken away by the unsub. He didn't endure nearly as much as you did which was why he wasn't as affected. But you had said 'yes' to that question and three weeks later, you still hadn't talked about it.

When the anxiety attacks happened, you often felt like you couldn't breathe, like the walls were pressing in on you. Sometimes you'd be with JJ when it happened. She would immediately ask you what you needed and often that would just be a hug.

Emily witnessed one at your house when she came over to check on you. She rushed over, caring voice and soft hands and told you to put your head between your knees, stroking your hair until you felt better.

Penelope made the 30-minute drive from her house every Friday night she wasn't working on a case to bring you dinner she had made and chat with you about anything you wanted.

Your friends cared for you, it was so prevalent. It was almost always that fact that was getting you through this as you continued to get better. You would return to work in two weeks because now the anxiety attacks were only once in a while and better controlled by you and Spencer still hadn't spoken to you since.

It was now nearly two weeks later. You would go back to work on Monday.

"He did come to visit you in the hospital before you woke up," Penelope said, stirring her cup of ramen. It was just another Friday and she sat across from you in your chair, cross-legged. "I don't know what's up with him if he isn't speaking to you, he seems fine at work."

You sighed, swallowing your bite. "I'm just scared that he regrets what he said and did before I was dragged away. It was those words and that kiss that got me through what the unsub did and I keep thinking about it and him..."

"It was romantic," she noted, waving her chopstick in the air. "I think you should call him, rather than just text him. It'll catch him off-guard and in-the-moment."

"Now?"

"Yes, so I can listen!"

You smiled a little, pulling out your phone as your heart began to race. What if he did pick up? What if it was awkward? What if he somehow didn't remember?

You pressed on his name, then pressed call. It began to hum quietly with pending rings. One ring, two, then five, then seven, then there was a small beep.

'You've reached Dr. Spencer Reid, uh, leave a message,' his voice said through the machine, still as sweet and youthfully scratchy. You bit your lip and nodded.

"I should have known that he didn't want to talk. Penelope, I can't stop thinking about him and he keeps ignoring my calls and I'm... frankly I'm afraid that nothing will ever happen and he'll ignore me forever."

Penelope cringed, "(Y/N), uh... there's... it's gone to voicemail and you're recording."

"Shit!" You panicked, looking at your phone. "How do I stop it?!"

"The red button!"

"That's the end call button I-" you pressed it by accident. Oh my god, the message went through. You just sat there with Penelope, both of you frozen in shock. That did not just happen... did it really just happen? Your one moment of self-pity and worry was one moment that Spencer would hear if he touched his phone on a Friday night.

The rest of the night was spent with you fighting off panic, pacing your room. Penelope agreed to stay overnight, but you could not handle the fact Spencer would hear what you said. It was humiliating to think about him hearing you stress over something like that.

This is what nagged at you all weekend, threatening the impending anxiety that was building up. Every second was agony, spent pacing and overthinking. Sleep was hard to get, so you took melatonin and your dreams taunted you with it all over again.

Monday morning you rushed to get dressed. You needed to see Spencer, no matter how hard it was to face him. You pulled on dress pants and a navy blue cotton v-neck shirt with bell sleeves. Laundry was forgotten through two days of panic, so this was pretty much the only shirt you had.

You brushed through your hair and applied your regular makeup and there, you were presentable and didn't look like you'd lost your mind over the weekend. You were going back, finally. It was somewhat refreshing if you dismissed the Spencer ordeal.

The drive there was fine. Music helped to calm you down and you listened as long as you could. Stepping into the BAU was different, it felt like you were being crushed the moment you stepped in.

"There's my girl!" Derek Morgan was the first to notice you walk in and he greeted you with open arms and a crushing hug. You smiled, letting him. It had been a while since you last saw him. He let you go after a few seconds, but his hands stayed on your shoulders. "We missed you here, things weren't as fun without you."

"I bet," you grinned, heading to your desk. You could hide your freakout well. "I missed the smell of coffee and paper in the morning."

"(Y/N), glad to have you back," Hotch said, walking down the steps. He did seem honestly glad to see you as there was a small twitch of his mouth when he approached you and Derek. "You're sure you're alright to work again? I assume today is a file day, but we'll be back out there soon."

You nodded, smiling back. "Getting there, but it's controllable now," He narrowed his eyebrows. "I'll be fine for the field and if I'm not, I can always stay at the precinct to work things out there."

Hotch looked to Derek, then back at you. "Sounds good. Again, glad to have you back, agent." Hotch shook your hand and passed you, heading into JJ's office.

"Morgan..." You started, fiddling with your fingers. "Have you seen Spencer?"

"Yeah, he just went to the washroom, why?"

"I need to talk to him..."

The day went on and of course, you saw Spencer, but he paid you no mind. Not even a 'welcome back' or anything. You were just there and it was like you never left, except Spencer didn't even look at you. He was busy with his work and you constantly found yourself watching him. Maybe he'd heard your voice mail, maybe not, but either way, he didn't seem to care anymore.

That month and a half you spent recovering- was it possible that he used that time away from you to get over you? The idea was haunting and tugged at your heart. To be the only one all-in was such an incredibly painful idea. What he said before you were dragged away into the depths of hell meant something to you and it kept you alive... and to think he probably didn't mean it...

You needed to stop thinking about it before it made you burst into a million pieces. To be surrounded by everyone who you loved and loved you back wasn't enough if you couldn't have Spencer, too. Selfish, it sounded so selfish, but it shook you to the core that he wasn't amongst them.

The day continued and more pain was endured. More overthinking, more fear, more insecurity. The day was nearing its end.

Everybody seemed like nobody when Spencer was out of the picture. You had spent so much time thinking about him in the hospital and at home in recovery, who were you without wondering you could make it work? Nobody. Without the fantasy you could be his, you stranded on some sort of island. You were nobody if not Spencer's.

So you were nobody.

It was that thought that keeled you over the edge in the parking lot of the BAU. So much fear, so much pent-up emotion, it was too much to contain and just... spilled over onto everything as your hands began to shake, followed by that godawful feeling in the pit of your stomach. Your knees gave out and you fell conveniently onto the curb next to your car.

There was nobody there, either. You were alone on the concrete curb, face in your shaking hand and the other shaking hand gripping the curb so hard your knuckles turned white. Too much, too little, everything was wrong and you couldn't face Spencer.

You looked up for a brief moment and there was a brief look at someone in a beige cardigan and khaki pants and your heart fell to the pit of your stomach- as if you were humiliated enough. Footsteps, closer.

"A-are you okay?" His voice was a little panicked, definitely not as bad as yours, though. Overall, you were just glad he was within six feet of you.

Of course, you were pretty much unable to reply. Your face stayed in your hands and you felt light fingers on your shoulder, his, and they were somewhat grounding. God, he was here and you couldn't even talk to him, you couldn't even raise your head.

"What do you need, I- what happened?" He cared. But to what extent? His hands felt frantic- they shook a little (again, not nearly as bad as yours) and they moved from your shoulder, to upper arm, to near your neck, to the side of your head. "If this is my fault, I-"

He stopped himself. How could he possibly know that it was the thought of him that sent this into motion? The voicemail didn't entail much other than he was on your mind. You hardly even noticed that you were crying from the anxiety attack until you felt how wet your hands were. Your words kept piling on your tongue and the panic rose again in an entirely new wave.

"Do you- do you need help? I can get Hotch or... Derek, Derek knows, I know, but I don't- I don't think you like me very much and I won't be of help-I-I-I-" His voice continued to ramble and you were flooded with new thoughts. How could he possibly think that you didn't like him? In those moments before you were taken, you had said yes to going out with him if you both made it out. You kissed him back then before the arms grabbed you and dragged you off. Where did the idea of you not liking him come from? It was you who was afraid he didn't like you back.

You wanted to speak, you wanted to say something but you were stuck in your own mind, desperately trying to fight this off, trying hard to calm your breathing. The most you could do was take your hand off of the curb and frantically grab his. You took his hand and you held it tight, trying to slow the sharp intakes of breath. That's when Spencer squeezed your hand and you began to feel better.

And when you did start to feel better and your breathing was still harsh, but better and you could finally move a little more, you did what you had wanted to do every day in the hospital. You leaned forward and wrapped your arms around Spencer, your arms resting around his shoulders. You needed it and apparently so did he, because he squeezed you back the same. Either it was that or he knew pressure helped. All you could do was hope it wasn't the latter.

Spencer of course buried his face in the crook of your neck like he had before and you knew now that this feeling was coming to an end. The tide was washing out and there was calm after the storm. No words, just your breathing becoming more natural and the wind over your ears. This was all that you needed.

He stayed like this with you for a good five more minutes before you could finally release him, pulling apart and your hand coming up to wipe under your eyes. He didn't speak then, either- he just watched, his face furrowed in concern.

So you spoke, "Spencer wh-" your voice cut out from still being in that state of anxiety. You coughed into your arm, tried again. "Why would you think I don't like you?"

"I-I- don't think that's the question, I- are you okay?" His hands went back to your shoulders bracingly.

You smiled a small smile, "I'm better, it's passed, but Spencer...' You slid into a whisper with the crying coming back. Had it really passed?

"Yes?" His reply was wary. As if afraid to break you, he tiptoed.

"Answer me, please."

He bit his lower lip into his mouth, sighing. "I don't know if I should, you're- you're upset."

You looked at him, dead-on, determined. "Please."

"You didn't call. Not once and I-I-I was worried and then I started to think about it and everything t-that happened before you were taken and that you probably only said and did that because you were about to-to-uh, die." He rambled, words spilling out. "So I thought maybe you didn't really like me and-"

"I was waiting for you to call, too," you actually let out a laugh. He smiled in realization. "Because I was afraid of the exact same thing. I was afraid you didn't mean it and I worked myself up- I called Friday night, though-"

"I didn't- I didn't know that-" he fumbled to bring his phone out of his pocket and he must have seen that he had a voicemail from you and nodded, a little smile appearing on his worried face. "So you did mean to say yes?"

"And you did mean to ask?" You inquired, head tilted.

"Y-yes, of course."

"Then yes," you replied, smile widening to a grin. "How is Saturday night? I think I'll be better by then."

He was positively beaming as he helped you back to your feet. "Saturday is... great. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Much better.... truthfully." You nodded excessively and Spencer began walking back to his car, but then came back quickly to kiss your cheek.

He was like a child excited to go run and tell friends, "Goodnight!"

"Night, Spence." You stood there, basking in the glory that was solved miscommunication. You weren't nobody, you were in fact, somebody. And you were soon to be Spencer's.

Tags: @ellyhotchner, @softhairedhotch, @laurakirsten0502

REQUEST HERE

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wisteriabookss · 3 years

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Everything wrong with ACOSF

- A c-section would kill Feyre and is impossible to do, yet when Cassian’s guts were literally hanging out of him he can get sewn up just fine?

- Rhysand upset = Feyre blowjob. Cassian upset = Nesta blowjob. Apparently there’s only one way to use our mouths to cheer up our partners.

- Gwyn mentioned multiple times that the priestesses have therapists . . . so why doesn’t that extend beyond the library? Is that so we reserve the illusion that Feyre’s art lessons are the only therapy needed for war?

- Amren

- SJM retconned how Rhys’s powers get passed down. In the first 3 books it was only passed down to any family member/relative, and now it can be passed to a random stranger. what was the point of this?

- am i really supposed to believe that Gwynn, Emerie, and Nesta had the power to fight off novice Illyrians in the Rite, who have been trained for hundreds of years, when they’ve only been training for a few months? how does this logically make any sense?

- that whole High King bullshit, chile please.

- Nyx is a terrible name, sorry. Shit does not roll off any tongue.

- oh, did I mention Amren?

- The stupid colloquialisms. This worlds been alive for eons, and they don’t have words to describe depression, anxiety, or PTSD other than trauma, yet Cassian knows what lactic acid is and what it means?

- the way there is apparently no way to fix Emeries wings that are still intact, yet Cassian was able to basically regrow his after they had been described as shredded wet paper??

- so was it because Cassian was doing all the pining the last three books that Nesta had to do all of it in this one?

- sorry, just real quick, have I mentioned Amren?

- even after all that healing Nesta still thinks herself undeserving of Cassian’s love as if he’s been a saint the whole way through

- I’m sorry but every time Nesta went, “Cassian is good, Cassian is brave, Cassian is honorable,” i’m sitting over her like, did you forget that time when he called you unlovable?

- why oh why did miss sjm feel the need to repeat the “your mine-im yours” line with Nessian like Feysand? Its WEIRD.

- Nesta getting on her knees to apologize to Amren when Amren has been nothing but a bitch. Nesta using Amren as a shield against her problems didn’t warrant her being described as a pathetic waste of life, sorry not sorry.

- absolutely no character arc for Cassian

- Elain accusing Nesta that she only cared about how her own trauma affected her, after Nesta just tried to protect Elain from further trauma by telling her to not look for the Trove.

- Rhys refusing to believe the good in Nesta after repeatedly seeing signs of her changing. mans literally saw inside her mind when she was in the cauldron and went, “Her trauma is … I guessed,” Rhys breathed, “but it was different to feel it.”” and yet he STILL acted like an asshole after presumably understanding what was going on inside her head.

- the relationship with Mama Archeron should have been flushed out more. It’s obvious Nesta had the best relationship with their mom, and she loved her, so why was this never discussed?

- our woke feminist queen Rhys, who once told Feyre that she is in charge of all her choices and decisions, kept secret the knowledge of her, her babies, and her husbands potential death from her “to not upset her.”

- no one apologized to Nesta?

- Briallyn plot was solved in one page after being stretched for 700 pages.

- We never got a dramatic ass scene where Nesta shows her powers against someone. That silver fire bed scene does not count, and neither does Briallyns death. Neither were big enough to hold a candle to what her power has been described as in the last two books. We DESERVED to see that power dammit.

- Nesta crying over Papa Archeron did not sit right with me. mans left you and your sisters to basically fend for yourselves, and when Nesta finally breaks down it’s over how she couldn’t save him? Not cute.

- Nesta giving back Ataraxia to Rhys, even though it’s not his to give back to, after we just had a whole moment of finding out it meant Inner Peace

- Nesta losing most of her power at the end was just stupid. Her relationship with her power needed it’s own arc as well, and that was stripped away cause of stupid Feysand and their stupid decisions, coupled with SJM’s inability to outline her books properly.

this is all for now, comment down below if you guys wanna add anything :)

#acosf #a court of silver flames #nesta #cassian #nessian #rhysand #feyre #rhys #feysand

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