#here's some cas doodles I made last night | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

transexualpirate · 3 years

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“Perfect.”

When he first told Dean, he looked so small and helpless, almost guilty, like he expected Dean to just smack him right in the spot for daring to bring it up. Maybe that's what convinced Dean to participate. Or maybe it was the warmth that painted his cheeks when he imagined Cas smiling brightly at his kid and his... and Dean coming together to make something for him. "Father's Day, huh? Sure. Yeah, why not?" Jack smiled as bright as Cas did in his head.

so uhhhh aparently it’s father’s day in the usa? so i wrote a little something for @dadstielweek i hope this is okay <3 also thank you @creepyeyesandfrogs for the inspiration ur the best!!!

Summary: Dean and Jack have plans for Cas on father’s day. They also have some unresolved issues.

Warnings: Miscommunication, self worth issues, J*hn Winchester, brief mentions of self destructive tendencies (nothing explicit), brief mentions of sexual themes between Dean and Cas (also not explicit), background Saileen.

also, english is not my native language and i mess up sometimes! i’d much appreciate it if you warn me about any possible mistakes.

"Damn, kid, those are some bright colors you used." it was meant as a jab, but Jack only smiled proudly

"Thank you" he replied "I thought I might be using too much yellow, so his name is written in pink. See?"

Dean did. He stared at the card for a few more seconds. It read "Dad: I feel so safe with you! You always took good care of me and you hold me so gently when I can't sleep. Your the best dad ever!" in yellow, with blue doodles of bees and hearts around it, and "I love you, Castiel" in light pink at the bottom. It wasn't a work of art, but he clearly had fun doing it with some old colorful markers he found around the bunker. It was funny to Dean that a 5'8'' man had done it.

Not a man, he corrected himself. A kid. It was easier to see it in days like these.

"Yeah, it's real pretty, alright. But, uh, just a note-" Jack looked up then, his eyes wide. Dean tried not to be offended about how obvious it was that he was waiting for Dean to back down at any moment "You wrote 'your'. As in, 'your bag', 'your drink', 'your pen', you know. It's 'you're'. Like, 'you are'. You're. You're the best dad ever. Okay?"

"Oh." he looked down again. Stayed silent for a few seconds. Dean imagined he was processing this new information. Then he brought up the yellow marker and fixed it. "There. Is that it?"

"Yup. Looks perfect, kid. Cas is gonna love it."

Jack looked like someone had just told him he could eat all the candy he wanted. Dean found himself chuckling softly at him, then turned back to the cake he was decorating. He was pretty anxious himself. He knew he wasn't the best cook out there, and art also wasn't his strong spot, but he figured that writing "Happy Father's Day" wouldn't be so hard. Jack insisted in some skittles on top of it, too, because "Cas loves colorful things and he even ate some of Jack's last week and seemed to like it!". Dean wasn't so sure. He knew Cas had a weird relationship with food. He didn't need it, and hardly found any he genuinely liked. So he might not eat it at all. Or he might eat it just to make Dean feel good.

But there was something else he had in mind. Something he and Jack had picked in town last week. It was sappy and simple and exactly the kind of thing he never though they’d get to experience.

In the kitchen counter, close to the coffee machine, there was a porcelain mug wrapped with a colorful ribbon. And on it was written “BEST DAD EVER”.

Coffee was something that Cas liked. Especially when it had plenty of sugar. The mug was silly, the kind of thing you’d find at the dollar store, but it made Dean smile just thinking about it. Cas could drink from it everyday.

Jack followed his gaze and stared at it with a smile. Then he turned to Dean, and to the cake, and seemed to understand something.

“You know he’ll love it too, right?” Dean smiled, but it wasn’t natural anymore. He wasn’t surprised when Jack didn’t buy it. “No, I’m serious. He likes chantilly. He likes chocolate cake. He likes skittles. He loves you. Why wouldn’t he like it?”

It wasn’t planned at all. It just came out. Easy like that.

He likes all those things. He loves you.

Dean sucked in a breath but before he could reply Jack was staring back at the mug. It seemed like he was already thinking about something else. He was like that, sometimes. Too much energy, a bit like an actual child would have, and not enough place to put it. It wasn’t uncommon for him to lose his train of thought mid sentence. It’s like his own brain was a bit too fast for him.

Dean was like that too, sometimes.

He silently wondered if he should scold him for that, like his own father did to him. But he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Instead, He nudged Jack’s shoulder softly. “Go on. Use plenty of chantilly, ‘kay? You’re right, he likes it.”

Jack didn’t need to be told twice. He hopped to the fridge and got the rest of the chantilly Dean used for the cake. Gently placed the ribbon a little lower on the mug so he could pour something inside it. Turned to the kitchen cabinet and picked up a spoon, and, before Dean, he raised his index finger.

And the coffee machine started working.

Magically.

“Jack!” Dean hissed. He didn’t want to deal with that right now. “Jack, please. Don’t-”

“It’s okay!” he seemed excited “I got it.” he brought a spoonful of chantilly, and the mug floated and stood right in front of him, gravity be damned. “It’s easier this way, I can just-” he held the chantilly container with one hand, the spoon with the other, and the mug was hovering in front of him. There was no way he couldn’t see how that was dangerous.

“Jack, come on,” Dean stopped decorating the cake and reached for the mug “just put it d-”

“Whoa, guys?”

Too many things happened too fast. Sam walked through the kitchen door, rubbing his eyes lazily. Dean flinched. Hard. He thought Cas had discovered them. Jack also flinched, his eyes wide and scared, like he’d been found doing something he shouldn’t be doing. The coffee machine stopped working. The mug fell.

It shattered on the floor, before them.

“Oh, shit.” Sam said, wise as ever.”

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Come on! Look at it! Goddammit, kid, why did you have to- Come on!”

“Guys? Uh, sorry-”

“I’m- I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! I thought- I thought Cas had- I got scared, I’m sorry, Dean, I can fix this, let me just-” he gestured to it, clearly intending to use his powers again, but Dean stopped him, gripping his wrist forcefully with just a little too much strength.

“No. You’ve done enough.” Dean said, his voice cold. He wasn’t sure how exactly things could get worse, but he didn’t want to find out either. Jack struggled to get away from his hold with wobbling lips.

“Dean-” Sam placed a careful hand on his brother’s shoulder “what’s going on?”

“It’s father’s day.” Dean said “We baked a cake and bought Cas a stupid mug but now-” he sighed “the kid used his creepy ass powers and now it’s broken.”

That was like someone had slapped Jack in the face. He finally managed to get his arm free and stepped back like it had burned him. He clutched his wrist, and cried.

“I’m s-sorry...” he managed between sobs.

Dean stared.

He was crying. Outright bawling his eyes out like it was all he knew how to do. If Cas hadn’t slept in Dean’s room (conveniently far away from the kitchen, it was all thought out, that’s definetely the only reason he was there) exhausted from last night’s activities (angels don’t need sleep, per se, but they do benefit from it every now and then if they’re low on grace and already tired from... uh, hunting) he probably would have woken up.

“Oh, shit.” Dean said, for once, somewhat wise.

“I’m sorry, I’m- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to- I shouldn’t have used th-them. It’s my fault! I didn’t- I didn’t mean-!” he stepped back again, like he was scared anyone would hurt him (or he would hurt anyone).

Dean’s heart dropped to his toes and he wanted to punch himself in the face.

“Shit, kid. No, it’s- Fuck. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have- I shouldn’t have yelled like that. Fuck. Sam, a little help here?”

Sam stared at them for a second, his eyebrows knitted together.

Dean got mad and went a bit too far. That’s happened before.

It happened a lot with John.

But Dean would always chime in and fix John’s messes for him.

Sam turned around, brought a shovel and a broom and in two swift movements cleaned the remains of the mug while Dean stared at him like he’d grown a second head.

And then he left the kitchen.

“What the fuck. Sam, what the- Sam!” but, obviously, Sam didn’t turn around. It wasn’t that he didnt care. He did. So much. He was scared that if he let them there things would only get worse. But he trusted them- he had to.

Dean and Jack needed to have this conversation by themselves.

Jack. The Jack that was pressed up against the wall crying desperately like there’s no tomorrow. Dean wanted to cry too.

“Kid. Jack. Jack, I’m sorry. Hey, listen to me.” he took a careful step but Jack didn’t even seem to notice. He was clutching his own wrist so hard Dean was scared he was going to break the skin.

He raised his hand and slowly reached for his wrist. Jack flinched again and looked up to Dean like he was surprised that he was so close. Slowly, like he was trying to approach a wild animal, Dean held the kid’s hand and opened it, forcing him to let go.

“There we go. Careful, kiddo. You were hurting yourself.”

Jack scoffed, or tried to, but as he hadn’t stopped crying yet it sounded a little like a scared cat. “Right. Like I d-don’t deserve it.”

“No.” Dean’s voice was suddenly rough again “No, you don’t. Kid- Jack, look at me.”

Jack didn’t want to, but Dean reached for his chin softly and, carefully, as if the Nephilim was made of glass, he brought his face up.

“I-I ruined it, Dean. I broke the mug.”

“Yeah.” his voice was soft again “You did. But it’s okay. You didn’t do it on purpose. You got scared. You shouldn’t have been so careless, but you didn’t mean to do it. I know you didn’t. Okay? You just have to be more careful next time. It’s fine. You’re fine, okay? I’m... I’m sorry I yelled. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Jack stared at him. His lips were slightly parted and his face was still tear stained. Dean ran his thumbs through his cheekbones, drying his tears softly. Jack let him.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I shouldn’t have... Used them. My- my creepy powers.”

“No, Jack, it’s okay. Those powers, they’re not creepy, okay? They’ve helped so many people before. They’ve saved us. And they’re a part of you, and you’re not creepy, okay? You’re not. I’m sorry I said that. I was wrong. And I shouldn’t have- Shouldn’t have yelled. I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry, Jack.”

Jack looked like he was waiting for the punchline. He studied Dean’s face, and eventually he stuttered out “It’s... It’s okay, Dean.”

“We both fucked up, huh?” he chuckled softly, and Jack did so too.

“Yeah. I guess- I guess we did.”

“Well, I’m the adult. I can’t let this happen again. I’m not going to. Okay? I’ll be more careful too. I just- I lost it, Jack. I’m so, so sorry. I hope you know how wrong I was. You’re not bad, Jack. You didn’t do this on purpose. You were just trying to be faster. It’s okay. You made a small mistake. It’s no biggie. I need to keep it cool next time, okay?”

“No! No, there won’t be a next time, Dean. I’ll be more careful, I promise!”

Dean smiled. “I know, Jack, I know you will. But you’re four. You’re gonna make silly mistakes like this. Your job is to try a little more everyday. Okay?”

Jack nodded enthusiastically. “I will. I’ll do my best.”

“I know you will, little guy. I will, too, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I promise, too.” Jack smiled at that. Dean swept his hair from his face, leaned in and kissed the kid’s forehead. He beamed. And then he stopped. Dean glanced at his face.

“But, Dean... It’s, it’s broken, now. We only have the cake and the card.”

“Well, I’m sure he’ll love them, Jack.”

“Yeah, but... It’s... It’s Cas, Dean. He deserves better.”

Dean contemplated for a second. And then he smiled. Jack tilted his head in a very Cas-like fashion.

“I have an idea.”

Cas turned around in Dean’s bed, hoping to find the man laying next to him. He didn’t.

It wasn’t unnexpected, you see, Dean woke up early everyday. Cas wasn’t used to sleeping, but when he did, he slept in late. He only needs his four hours after all. But honestly, Cas couldn’t help but wonder if there was some shame in there.

He glanced around the room and decided it would be best if he got dressed. He got up, groaning softly, then retrieved his underwear and pants from Dean’s desk. His shirt was on the ground. Tie and trenchcoat were perched on a chair. His cellphone was on his pocket. He thought about going out, maybe make Jack some breakfast, but it was still early and the kid was probably asleep. So he decided to go back to bed (without his trenchcoat, mind you, not even he is that formal).

Immediately as he laid down there was a knock on the door. “Come in!” he slurred out, still sleepy.

Whoever was on the other side hesitated. “Are you... Decent?”

Cas couldn’t stop his smile. “Yeah, Dean, I’m decent.”

“No, like... Jack- Jack is here, Cas.”

There was a laugh on the other side. “Dude?” Sam whispered. Cas decided to pretend he didn’t hear him.

“Come in, Dean. Unless you want me to put on my shoes as well.”

The door opened and the first thing Cas noticed is that Dean’s whole face was red as a tomato. The second thing was that he was holding a cake covered in chantilly and skittles and the third is that he was followed by Jack and Sam.

Oh, no, did he forget anyone’s birthday?

But they didn’t sing. Instead, Jack jumped on the bed, holding something colorful. Sam was right behind him, holding a wooden platform and placing it on the bed. It was like a support so nothing would fall. Dean put the cake on the platform and Jack placed something too.

Cas blinked.

“Uh, wh-what’s... Did I... Miss something?”

“It’s Father’s Day!!” Jack beamed. Cas couldn’t help but mirror his smile. But he was still a bit confused.

“O-okay, so...?” Jack leaped at him, involving him in a hug.

“Happy Father’s Day, dad!”

Oh. Oh! “Jack!”

“Kid’s super excited. It’s your first Father’s day without an apocalypse, after all. So, we... Yeah. We did something.” Dean tried to explain. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. Cas stared at him like he’d personally brought him the moon.

“They did something for you, too, Cas. Look!” Sam pointed at the colorful package at the improvised table. He noticed, then, that it wasn’t a package.

It was a mug involved by a colorful ribbon. The one he usually used. It used to be white and bland. But now, there was a blue tie doodled on it, and in Dean’s unmistakable handwriting it was written “WORLD’S BEST DAD”. It was filled with coffee and chantilly, just the way he likes it.

Cas held it in his hands and couldn’t stop the tears flooding his face.

For a second, Jack panicked. His eyes widened and he looked between Cas and Dean questioningly. Dean reached a hand to his shoulder and whispered “I think he likes it, Champ.”

“But- But he’s crying?”

Cas sniffed loudly, then. He couldn’t explain it. He didn’t expect it. World’s best dad, him? “They’re... T-they’re tears of joy, Jack.”

Sam giggled sofly. He brought his cellphone up and started recording. He was happy he did, because just at that moment, Dean leaned down and kissed him wholeheartedly.

Like, on the lips. Full on romantic kiss. The type they show on TV.

If Jack was surprised, he didn’t show it. But he was happy, that was clear. Sam, however, cheered them on. “Oh, fucking finally!”

Dean showed the camera his middle finger. Jack tilted his head again, and Sam zoomed in on him, mumbling something about “like father, like son”. When they broke apart, their pupils blown and panting softly, Dean cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. Cas was at loss for words.

Jack seemed to remember something, then, and shoved his card on Cas’ face with no mercy. “Oh, oh! I also made a card! And Dean baked the cake! We painted the mug together. He taught me how to draw a tie. Do you like it?”

“Liked it? Jack, I love it. Look at it! You drew a bee, too! It’s so pretty.” he sighed contented while Dean tried to steal Sam’s phone only to find he had already sent the video to Eileen. Jack stared at him with childlike wonder, and Cas was almost scared for a moment because of how happy he was. But it was okay. He was allowed to be happy. He deserved it. “I love it. Thank you, so much. All of you. It’s perfect- you’re perfect.” he turned to Dean, with Sam’s hand on his shoulder as he cooed childishly. “I love you, Dean.” And then he turned to Jack, the kid smiling in blissful, childish naivety. “And I love you, son.”

“See?” Dean grinned, nudging Jack playfully “I told you he’d love it.”

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dickspeightjrs · 4 years

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Get Fit, Get Happy (au / 7.1k words / teacher!dean / football coach!cas

ao3 link

“Alright everyone settle down, let’s get started so we can finish.” Principal Ellen Harvelle addressed the teachers of Lawrence High, squashed into the teacher’s lounge for the weekly staff briefing. She ran through the agenda for the meeting as quickly as she could.

No one liked the staff briefings. It was the same old shit every week. Please don’t use the printer for personal use. Clean up after yourself. And can whoever keeps leaving fish in the fridge please stop. We’re close to banning fish altogether.

Dean just didn’t listen anymore. He’d been an English teacher at the school for five years now, he’d heard it all before. Now, he and Benny, the home economics teacher, would just sit at the back and make each other laugh like silly schoolboys. They were worse than the kids they taught.

“And finally,” Ellen continued, “I’d like everyone to welcome our new football coach. Woulda like to introduce yourself?”

Dean looked up from where Benny had been doodling obscene images on the back of his copy of the meeting agenda, and his eyes went wide. Ellen was gesturing to a timid-looking guy standing just off to the side. How could this dude be the new coach? He was wearing a trench coat for crying out loud!

“Um, hello everyone,” the guy waved awkwardly, probably not expecting to be put on the spot. “I’m Castiel Novak.” He then turned back to Ellen, who had clearly been expecting him to say something more if her confused look was anything to go by.

Not a huge talker then.

Thankfully, they were all saved from the awkward silence by the morning bell, which caused the teacher’s lounge to become much more hectic than it had been all morning. Teachers dashed out to get to their homerooms on time so their kids weren’t left alone for too long. They all knew what the consequences were if the kids went unsupervised.

Dean bid Benny a goodbye and moved towards his own classroom. He walked past Castiel on the way, who was looking a little bewildered by the sudden commotion, and caught his eye. Dean only gave a nod in greeting. No way was he going to get himself stuck with the new guy. No matter how hot he looked up close.

* * *

Later, at lunch, back in the teacher’s lounge, Dean was sitting at his usual table in the corner with Benny. Charlie, who taught computer science, had joined them. Castiel was still the main subject of conversation for many of the faculty members in the room.

“I just don’t get how a guy like that is a football coach? Where did they even find him?” Dean scoffed.

“His stats speak for themselves, actually.” Charlie answered. “And if you must know, he’s from Chicago. Moved here last month.” She shrugged before taking a bite of her sandwich.

Benny and Dean looked at each other with matching looks of ‘what the fuck?’

“How the heck did you know that, Bradbury?” Benny asked.

Charlie chewed slowly and refused to meet their eyes.

Dean sighed. “You befriended him, didn’t you?” He took Charlie’s silence as a ‘yes’. “Dammit, Charlie. You always gotta take in the newbies, haven’t you?”

Charlie’s eyes narrowed in response. “I took you in when you started.”

Benny gave a nod of ‘fair enough’.

Dean swallowed. “Yeah but, if you start being friends with him, then we’ll end up having to be friends with him too.” He whined.

That clearly wasn’t the right thing to say as Charlie’s face went hard and she immediately stood up. “You can be a real dick sometimes, Dean,” she spat out as she angrily packed up her half eaten lunch. “See you later.” She grabbed her bag and turned to stride towards the door.

“Wait, where are you going?” Dean called after her.

“To see Castiel. I’m sure he could use a friend on his first day.” She retorted, with venom, over her shoulder.

Dean turned back to face Benny who had a pained look on his face.

“Well done, Brother.”

Dean lifted his hands in exasperation. “What? The guy seems like a hard-ass. He needs to let loose a little. That’s all I was gonna say.”

Benny chuckled. “Well, you’d know. You let loose a little too much. Maybe he should take a leaf out of your book.”

It was true. Dean did live a laid back life. He wasn’t in a relationship, hadn’t been for years. Instead, he got by on one night stands and cheap beer until it was time to get up Monday morning and be Mr Winchester.

He breathed a laugh. “You’re right about that.”

Then a sly grin started appearing on Benny’s face. “Why don’t you be the one to show him what he’s missing?”

“What’re you talking about, man?”

“I bet that you can convince him to let go a little.” Benny raised an eyebrow.

“No way.” Dean shook his head. “That dude has a stick so far up his ass, there ain’t room for anything else.”

Benny pulled a face at the image. “TMI, Brother.”

Dean rolled his eyes, but then thought to himself. He had to admit the guy was hot, even in that weird trench coat he’d been wearing earlier. It might be nice to change it up a bit and challenge himself. And if Castiel didn’t fall for Dean’s charms at least Dean would win the bet against Benny. Win-win.

“Fine. I’ll give it a go. What time frame are we talkin’ here?”

Benny thought for a second. “By the first football game of the season. You think you can do it in three weeks?”

Dean scoffed. “Can’t believe you doubt my talents, man. It’s a deal.”

* * *

Figuring he’d start his crusade as soon as possible, Dean went to watch football practice straight after school. He’d carefully avoided Charlie’s classroom, knowing that she was probably still annoyed with him. But, he knew he’d win her over again with a promise of being her handmaiden at her LARPing event sometime. However, that could wait, for now he had his sights set on Castiel.

Dean climbed his way up onto the bleachers, hoping Castiel wouldn’t see him watching him like a stalker. He still didn’t really want to talk to the guy, not yet anyway. He was just gonna watch him in action and consider where to go from there.

It was about ten minutes into practice when Castiel finally made an appearance, having already sent the boys out to warm up.

Seeing the coach stride across the field to where the team waited, panting from their mini workout, made Dean’s eyes almost bug out of his head.

Castiel wasn’t wearing that bulky trench coat anymore. Instead, he was wearing a very form-fitting workout shirt with matching running shorts. The outfit hugged the firm outline of Castiel’s body. It was clear now why Castiel was a football coach. He might not have been traditionally ‘bulky’ but man he certainly looked strong.

Dean found himself letting his eyes wander across Castiel’s tanned skin a few times during the practice. And if they made their way up Castiel’s runner’s legs and settled on his firm looking ass, well that was no one else’s business but Dean’s.

Even once the practice was over, Dean remained stuck to his seat. He was pretty sure he’d just witnessed a God on that field. At this point, he didn’t care if he lost the bet to Benny, he was definitely going to get with Castiel. Even if it killed him.

“So did you enjoy watching my practice?”

Dean jumped out of his skin. He clutched a hand to his chest, willing his heart to beat normally again. “Jesus, man, don’t sneak up on people like that.”

Castiel’s previously smiling face now looked downcast. “I apologise, I’ll leave you alone.” He turned around to walk back towards the field.

“No, wait,” Dean called out. This wasn’t the way it was meant to go, he needed Castiel on side. “You don’t need to leave, you just made me jump is all.”

Castiel turned back and regarded Dean, before walking up to him and taking a seat next to him.

“Why did you watch?” Castiel asked.

Dean shrugged, nonchalantly. “I just wanted to check you out.” He smirked. “Apparently you have some good stats. You really know your way around a ball, if you know what I mean.” He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

“I suppose I do, yes. The team I coached back in Chicago were champions three years in a row before I left.”

Was this guy being purposefully stupid? How did he not realise Dean was flirting with him? He referenced his fucking balls for christ’s sake!

Dean shook his head in exasperation. He was right, the dude did have a stick up his ass.

“Is everything okay?” Castiel asked, squinting.

“Yeah, I was just wondering if you could teach me some of those ball skills sometime?”

Right, Castiel had to understand the flirting now.

“I believe, before trying to master any skills, you should first increase your level of fitness.”

God fucking dammit! This guy was clueless.

Wait, did he just call Dean unfit?

“Hang on a min-”

“Would you like to join me on my morning run?”

Dean looked into Castiel’s questioning eyes. He was doing that little squint and tilting his head again. How could this dude be hot and adorable? It wasn’t fair. (Not that Dean would admit to anybody, not even Benny, that he found Castiel cute).

But this could be a way to spend some more alone time with Castiel - and turn on the charm. As much as the thought of running at any time of the day, let alone in the morning, made Dean want to hurl, he nodded.

“Sure man, sounds good. Where and when?”

Castiel blinked in surprise. He clearly hadn’t expected Dean to agree so readily.

Ha! At least Dean still had the upper hand.

“Oh, um, well there’s a nice wooded area around my house that I’d quite like to explore a little more. You could meet me at my house and go there?” Castiel offered.

“Sounds good.” Dean repeated. Though, it did not sound good.

Castiel gave Dean his address and told him to come over at around 6.30 the next morning. Dean almost whimpered at the thought of being awake early enough to get there on time, but the flex of Castiel’s muscles as he lifted himself to his feet made him remember what it was for.

* * *

Nope. No one was worth this. No matter how beautiful and God-like they were.

Dean could see his breath dance in front of his face. He just knew this was going to be the worst morning of his life. They hadn’t even started the run yet and Dean was already done. He’d also failed to realise the day before that he didn’t actually own anything to exercise in.

So here he was, sitting on Castiel’s doorstep in a pair of Sam’s old Converse that he’d managed to dig out of the closet. He’d thrown on a band shirt and an old pair of tracksuit pants that he actually uses to sleep in during the winter and hoped that it would be good enough.

He could feel himself begin to nod off when Castiel’s door finally opened.

“Oh, hello, Dean.” Castiel almost stumbled, not expecting to see Dean sitting on his doorstep. “I didn’t realise you’d arrived. You could have knocked and waited in the kitchen to keep out of the cold.”

Dean hastily rose to his feet to face Castiel. “Ah, don’t worry about it. I just wanted a bit of fresh air.” In all honesty, Dean had debated knocking on the door but he didn’t know what he’d find on the other side. He was already far enough out of his comfort zone for one day.

Castiel looked sceptical but didn’t say anything. Instead he gave Dean’s running clothes a once over with a slight raised eyebrow.

Dean almost started feeling a bit self-conscious under the gaze. It wasn’t his fault that he wasn’t an exercise nut like Castiel seemed to be. He definitely wouldn’t be coming back after today. He wasn’t here to be judged.

“So have you stretched already?” Castiel eventually spoke, as he began stretching his arms above his head and shaking them out after a few seconds.

Dean scoffed. “Yeah, no. I ain’t stretching.”

“That’s up to you. But you might regret it later.” Castiel shrugged, bending down to touch his toes.

Fucking hell. Dean looked around to see if anyone else was watching this display too. Seeing Castiel’s tanned skin stretch and flex this close made Dean glad he wasn’t wearing tight running shorts like Castiel was.

Once Castiel finished warming up, he directed Dean down his road until they reached the wooded area he’d talked about the day before.

“I think it would be nice to run along this trail, it wraps around a lake and if we’re lucky we might see some of the ducks and their little ducklings.” Castiel smiled.

Dean couldn’t figure this guy out. One minute he seemed mysterious and closed off and the next he was smiling adorably over freakin’ ducklings.

“Sure, dude. Whatever you say.”

“I’ll make sure to start slow so it’s a little easier for you.” Castiel assured.

A little easier? It’s just fucking running.

Castiel took off with a steady jog, and Dean rolled his eyes. He ran to catch up. There was no way he was going to be left in Castiel’s dust.

* * *

Half an hour later, Dean was regretting being so dismissive of running. His legs felt like they were on fire and his lungs were about to burst.

Castiel had been jogging steadily in front of him the whole time while Dean panted his way along the trail. He knew he looked like an out-of-breath, sweaty mess but by this point he didn’t care, he just wanted it to be over and never have to exercise again.

Just as he managed to catch his breath again and speed slightly to catch up to Castiel, he came down on an uneven part of the walkway. His ankle rolled and he stumbled to the ground with a none-too-quiet yelp of pain.

Castiel immediately stopped in his tracks and appeared at Dean’s side, kneeling down to see what had happened.

“Are you alright, Dean? What happened?”

“I think I tripped on a tree root or somethin’” He hissed through gritted teeth, showing Castiel his swelling ankle. “Shit, man, this hurts.”

Castiel hummed to himself before tentatively reaching his hands out to Dean’s foot. “May I?” He asked, looking into Dean’s eyes. If Dean hadn’t been in so much pain, he’d surely find himself getting lost in Castiel’s calming blue eyes.

“Just be careful.” Dean said, harshly.

Undeterred by Dean’s harsh tone, Castiel placed delicate hands on Dean’s ankle. He gently pressed around the swelling and apart from a couple of sharp hits of pain, which made Dean hiss again, his inspection was over quickly with minimal fuss.

“It looks like nothing more than a sprain.” Castiel assured. “We can walk back steadily. You can lean on me if it’s easier, and I can take your weight. I think we should wait for some of the swelling to go down a little first though. There’s a picnic area just up from here, we can sit on one of the benches.”

Dean was reluctant to get help from anyone, let alone the weird new guy but he knew he wouldn’t make it any further without help.

After a couple minutes of limping (and trying not to focus on Castiel’s firm body against his) Dean settled onto one of the benches in front of the lake.

They’d been out in the woods for almost an hour now and Dean had to admit it was pretty awesome seeing the sun rise through the trees. It was actually kinda peaceful watching little bugs skit across the smooth water of the lake.

“I gotta say, Cas, this is actually kinda nice. Y’know the woods and the lake and everything.” Dean gestured to their surroundings.

He glanced at Castiel and saw a small, peaceful smile on the man’s face.

“Yes, I do enjoy being here. I’m glad I found it when I moved here. And I never seem to see anyone when I come here on my runs.” Castiel paused. “Does this mean you’re going to be nice to me now?”

Dean cringed slightly at being called out for his treatment of Castiel up until this point. He guessed the guy wasn’t as bad as he’d originally thought. Actually, he seemed like a pretty nice dude.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I guess I don’t play well with others.”

“That’s not the impression I got from Charlie yesterday. She spoke highly of you, and how much she values your friendship.”

Dean snorted. “That’s surprising considering I pissed her off yesterday too.”

Castiel frowned in confusion, encouraging Dean to continue.

“Ah, I, um, was talking about you and she didn’t like what I was saying so she stormed off.” Dean explained, rubbing the back of his neck in shame.

“Oh, I see. If you don’t mind me asking, what was it you said about me?” Castiel’s face was questioning.

Dean couldn’t tell how the other man was feeling and he didn’t want to push him away when he’d just started genuinely liking the guy.

“It was mainly that I couldn’t see how you were the new football coach because you turned up that morning looking like a tax accountant in that trench coat,” he explained, tentatively. He cringed a little now at how wrong he’d been in his first impression. For an English teacher he clearly had a hard time not judging a book by its cover.

“Oh, well,” Castiel replied, starting to look a little uncomfortable.

“But I don’t think that anymore!” Dean rushed to explain. “Man, you kicked my ass at running this morning. And you looked awesome at practice yesterday. The kids seemed to really listen to whatever you said.”

Castiel looked down bashfully at his lap at the compliment. “Thank you, Dean. I’m glad I was able to change your mind.”

“Seriously, Cas,” Dean continued, “I don’t know how you have the motivation to keep up with exercise all the time. Being the coach is one thing but going for a run every day, getting up at the ass-crack of dawn? I couldn’t do it.”

“I suppose it’s because I don’t only do it for the physical benefits but also the mental health benefits too.” Castiel explained.

“Mental health? How can exercise improve your mental health? I just spent the last half hour wanting to die because it was so painful.”

Castiel chuckled. “Well, yes, I suppose getting started is always the hardest part. But doing exercise is proven to help clear your mind and help reduce stress and anxiety.”

“You sure know a lot about this, huh, Cas?” Dean asked, impressed with what he was learning about Castiel.

But Castiel’s expression changed. He was suddenly closed off again and looking at his lap. He cleared his throat. “It’s from personal experience. About five years ago, I fell into a deep depression. Exercise, running in particular, helped me get out of it.”

Woah, Dean had no idea what to say to that. Castiel may come across as a little shy and nerdy but Dean would have never thought he’d have a difficult past. Don’t judge books, Dean.

Dean let the silence around them build for a few moments before carefully choosing his next words. He didn’t want to outright ask Castiel about what caused his depression, and he knew enough to know that it might not have been any specific thing at all.

“So how did running turn into becoming a football coach?”

Castiel lifted his head to give Dean a strange look. It was like he wasn’t used to people not asking for more personal details.

“There was an opening at the school my brother worked at and they allowed me to try giving coaching a go. Their team wasn’t the best anyway so they really had nothing to lose. As I said yesterday, that team went on to be champion for three consecutive years.” Castiel explained.

“Wow, dude, that’s awesome! And it was cool of your brother to get you that job.” Dean said, nudging Castiel with his elbow.

“Oh,” Castiel shook his head, forlornly. “You misunderstand me. It was the school my brother had worked at but he didn’t get the job for me. It was after he’d died.”

Fuck. Dean wasn’t expecting that. That must have been what sent Castiel into his depression.

Dean knew he’d probably be the same if anything ever happened to his brother, Sam. The kid may be out in California for college still but that didn’t mean his brother wasn’t still one of the most important people in his life.

Dean didn’t have to debate what to say next, as Castiel carried on speaking.

“He was killed in a car accident. We were twins so we were always incredibly close. As you’ve probably guessed, that’s what made everything change. I took up running a few months after the accident as a way to be on my own and clear my head. And also, I suppose, be closer to him and talk to him.” Castiel shrugged, as if what he was saying wasn’t important and even a bit weird.

But Dean didn’t think it was weird. There was nothing weird about Castiel now. Dean was in awe of his strength and his determination to carry on and get through one of the most tragic things that could ever happen to a person.

The moment didn’t need filling with words so Dean just put an arm around Castiel and pulled him in a little closer. He still barely knew the man but he knew when another human being needed comfort and not judgement. And that was just what he was going to give him.

Eventually, they parted and Castiel gave Dean a wordless nod in thanks, before helping Dean to his feet and guiding him back down the path.

They never got to see the ducks but Dean figured they’d just have to come back another day for them.

* * *

Despite his initial grumblings about going running so early in the morning, over the next week or so Dean joined Castiel on some of his runs. He even bought himself some proper running shoes and sportswear, much to Castiel’s pride (and amusement). He’d threatened Castiel with bodily harm if anyone at the school found out he’d been wearing stretchy shorts - especially Benny, he’d never let Dean forget it.

And as well as joining Castiel in the mornings, Dean found himself watching the football practices still too. However, he didn’t stay hidden on the bleachers for long once some of the kids on the team spotted him. He taught a couple of them for English and they convinced him to come down to the field and join in with their practice. Dean had looked to Castiel for permission and simply got a beautiful, welcoming smile in return.

Watching Castiel teach, up close, was amazing. Even though the whole point of football was competition, Castiel never made it about only winning. He made sure the players knew their value on the team, and helped them work together. He was even open with them about his struggles with mental illness (though keeping some details private, of course) and how exercise helped him and could help them too.

It made Dean think about himself as well. About what the cheap beer and one night stands was really covering up. Maybe he had his own demons that he’d been avoiding and keeping at bay with the wrong methods.

He brought it up with Castiel after practice one night and they stayed talking with each other for hours until it was pitch black outside and there was a chill in the air. Dean drove home after with a rumbling stomach but a lighter heart.

Through all their interactions, whenever Castiel laughed at something Dean said, or squinted adorably at a reference he didn’t quite understand, Dean felt a twinge in his gut. It took him a couple of days to fully understand it but a couple weeks after their first run together, Dean knew it.

He was falling in love with Castiel.

* * *

Dean didn’t dare to mention his newfound feelings to anyone, not even Charlie, in case it got back to Castiel.

But secretly, privately, he began working up the nerve to ask Castiel if he’d like to go to dinner sometime. He was nervous that Castiel would reject him and he’d be heartbroken but he knew, without a doubt, that Castiel would never judge him for it.

Dean finally decided that he’d speak to Castiel after the final football practice before the first game.

But when Dean arrived that afternoon, he could sense an immediate shift in Castiel’s mood. The coach never let it show in front of the team but Dean liked to think he knew Cas pretty well now and there was definitely something wrong. Cas wasn’t laughing at Dean’s silly little quips, instead just giving a polite smile and continuing with the drills.

Once the final kid was picked up by their parents, Dean turned to where Castiel was usually waiting by his side. Only this time, Castiel was nowhere to be found.

Dean jogged back over to the field and found Castiel collecting up the equipment they’d used during practice.

“There you are, Cas! I’ll help with this if you want and then could I talk to you about something before you leave?” Dean asked, reaching to take one of the helmet’s Castiel was juggling.

“No, it’s okay, Dean. I can manage. What would you like to talk about?” Castiel asked in a clipped tone. He didn’t meet Dean’s eyes, instead busying himself with tidying up.

Dean shook his head a little in bewilderment. But he figured if Castiel had an issue he would have brought it up with Dean already.

But being put on the spot, and not having a little extra time to prepare what he wanted to say, Dean suddenly didn’t know how to formulate everything he felt without overwhelming Cas and being rejected.

Castiel turned his back on Dean to collect some plastic cones and stack them together again.

Okay, Dean could work with that, at least it might be easier without having to look Cas in the eye.

“Uh, okay, well I guess I’ve realised lately that how I feel about you isn’t strictly platonic. And I was wondering if you wanna go out for dinner after the big game on Friday? Y’know as like a date, type, thing?” Dean cringed, he sounded like an idiot who couldn’t string a sentence together.

Castiel stood from where he had been bending down and turned to face Dean.

Instead of happiness or even disgust, Dean could only see sadness in Castiel’s eyes.

“I didn’t think it was actually true. I didn’t want to believe it. I thought I’d finally found someone who knew me and didn’t judge me. But it was all a lie, wasn’t it?” Castiel whispered, tears building in his eyes.

Dean was flabbergasted. What was Cas talking about?

“Cas, man, I don’t understand.” Dean begged, eyes searching Castiel’s for any sign of where this had come from.

“I found out about your bet with Benny. You know the one to try to sleep with me by the first football game of the season?” Castiel spat out with more anger than he’d ever heard the man speak.

Oh fuck. Shit. Fuck.

Dean had honestly forgotten all about that stupid bet. Ever since that first morning they went jogging and Dean twisted his ankle, what Dean had been feeling for Castiel was nothing but true. And now just as it could all be even better, it was taken away just as quick.

Dean swallowed, “How did you find out?”

“I overheard Benny telling someone in the teacher’s lounge this morning.” Castiel said with a glare.

“Cas, I-”

“Forget it, Dean. I was happy to have your friendship and up until this morning, I would have been even happier to have more. But I’m not going to be used for some childish, immature schoolboy bet. Grow up, and please don’t speak to me anymore.”

And with that Castiel took the pile of cones he’d collected and strode across the field away from Dean with his head held high.

Even as he watched Cas walk away, and felt his heart break too, Dean couldn’t help but admire Castiel’s strength and certainty of his own self-worth.

* * *

The next day, Dean cornered Benny in the parking lot before school. He’d been tossing and turning all night trying to think of ways to get Castiel to believe him and forgive him but anxiety and self-hatred overpowered any logical thinking.

“Benny, why the fuck were you talking about our bet in the teacher’s lounge yesterday?” Dean practically growled. He didn’t want to be angry with his friend but none of this would have happened if he’d kept his mouth shut.

“Woah, Brother.” Benny held up his hands in defence. “Why are you so heated? I was only telling a coupla the IT guys that it seemed like you were getting somewhere with the bet considering all the time you’ve been spending with Castiel.” He explained.

Dean grit his teeth. “Yeah, well, Cas overheard and now he won’t talk to me.”

“‘Cas’ now, is it?” Benny raised his eyebrow with a smirk.

Dean just glared at him. That was not the part to be focussing on.

Benny relented with a sigh. “Okay, fine. I’m sorry, man. But I don’t even see the big deal. It’s my fault he found out so I can forfeit the bet.”

Dean was close to punching the car door next to them with frustration. “I don’t give a single fuck about the bet. I care about the fact that Cas thinks I only spent all that time with him just to get into his pants.”

“Dean, Brother, you’re making it sound like you’re in love with the guy.”

Dean just gave him a desperate look.

“Oh. You are in love with him.” Benny muttered as realisation dawned on his face.

“Yes. Maybe. I don’t know, man. But it doesn’t matter now because he won’t talk to me. I tried going to the lake to catch him on his jog this morning but he never showed.”

Jesus. Dean was really starting to feel like he was back in high school with all these feelings and relationship drama.

“So come up with some way to make him listen.” Benny shrugged, as if it were that simple.

“But how am I meant to do that?” Dean asked, frantically.

“Don’t ask me, I’ve already put my foot in it once. I ain’t doing it again.”

Dean groaned and wandered off towards the school building. He knew Benny was only trying to help by not helping but Dean was running out of ideas.

The closer he got to the front doors, the more he realised who he’d have to go to for help.

Charlie.

* * *

It turned out that Charlie had already heard from Castiel about everything that had happened and was also reluctant to talk to Dean. But he did eventually manage to get her to hear him out.

The pitiful look that Charlie gave him after he’d explained his side of the story was enough to make Dean want to cry. He was screwed.

Charlie stood there and let him say his piece before giving him a look, telling him to ‘Nut up, Winchester’, and started planning what Dean could do to win Castiel over.

* * *

Dean decided to put his plan in motion the Monday after the first football game of the season.

Lawrence High had won, of course (there was never any doubt with Castiel leading them). And by Monday the victory high was still present amongst the students and the teachers alike.

At lunch, Dean had seen many members of staff come up to congratulate Castiel on the win. Some of them had never even spoken to him before, which pissed Dean off. They didn’t give a shit about him until he made the school, and therefore them, look good. Assholes.

Castiel was too polite to say anything other than a small ‘thank you’ and give them a blushing smile. Dean’s heart melted a little when he saw it grace Cas’ features. But, Dean couldn’t jump to his defence, Castiel still wasn’t talking to him. It hurt, but Dean hoped by the end of the day, he’d win Cas over.

That afternoon, Dean anxiously watched the clock tick down to the final bell. As soon as it rang, he was with his students rushing out the door. He had a lot to get ready before Charlie lured Castiel to Dean’s classroom in half an hour.

That half an hour went quickly with Dean dashing around to make sure everything was perfect for Cas’ surprise. But finally everything was ready.

Dean had converted his classroom into a mini movie theatre with various blankets and cushions laid out on the floor in front of the projector screen. He’d even ordered some limited edition burger pizzas because Cas had mentioned last week that he’d seen them advertised and wanted to try one.

With everything in place, Dean was left to wait for Castiel to arrive. He tried not to watch the clock tick with every second but it was the only way to keep himself from over-thinking and doubting everything he’d planned.

When another ten minutes passed with no sign of either Castiel or Charlie, Dean was beginning to give up hope.

Maybe Cas caught on to the plan and still didn’t want to speak to Dean. Maybe Dean just needed to give up and get over it. He’d ruined his chance and that was it.

“But Charlie, why do I need- oh.”

Dean’s head whipped up at the sound of Castiel’s voice.

There he was standing in the doorway of Dean’s classroom, with Charlie poking her head over his shoulder and giving Dean an encouraging thumbs up. Then she gave a salute and scampered off, leaving the two men alone.

“Dean, what’s all this? What’s going on?” Castiel asked, gesturing to the items on the floor.

Suddenly, Dean was painfully aware of how stupid he probably looked right now. He searched his brain for the right words to say but he couldn’t. For days he’d been thinking about what he’d say to Cas in this moment but now he was faced with the man, watching him with those beautiful blue eyes, Dean was stuck.

But nothing good ever came easy. So he took a leap.

“This is to say sorry for everything that happened with that stupid bet.” Dean explained.

Castiel looked skeptical. He didn’t move from his place at the door.

Dean sighed and walked towards him. “Look. You don’t have to stay but I need you to know that it stopped being a bet when we first went to the lake together.” Dean searched Castiel’s eyes, trying to get him to understand the truth.

Castiel's eyes looked hopeful but still guarded.

“I’ve never met anyone like you, you’ve been through so much and you’ve pulled yourself out the other side. I guess I still need a little help with that.” Dean shrugged.

Castiel still didn’t say a word.

“Please, Cas, stay? Watch a movie with me?” Dean begged.

Castiel took a deep breath. And finally spoke.

“What movie is it?”

Dean’s mouth split into a grin. “It’s, uh, it’s not actually a movie. It’s a documentary on ducklings and other baby animals. After I told Charlie that we never got to see any at the lake, she told me about this guy, David something? who makes documentaries. And, well, I thought you’d like it.”

“David Attenborough.” Castiel supplied.

“Uh, what?”

“The man’s name is David Attenborough. He makes very interesting television shows about animals all over the world.” Castiel explained.

“Oh, cool.” Dean nodded. “So, what d’ya say? I don’t wanna rush you but Charlie only convinced the janitor to keep the school open until ten. So we’ve gotta start it soon if we don’t want to be locked in.”

“I’ll stay on one condition.”

“Sure..” Dean answered, unsure of where this was going.

“Kiss me.”

Dean didn’t have to be asked twice. He closed the gap between them and pulled Cas as close to his body as he could. He had him now and he was never going to let go.

Once they broke apart, Dean guided Castiel to take a seat amongst the pillows and blankets while he pressed play on the computer.

They spent the next couple of hours eating pizza and watching the documentary. Cas would interrupt the commentary with his own knowledge of various animals and Dean did nothing but smile and pull him closer, happy to listen to Cas talk for hours about what he loves.

The next thing Dean knew, he was waking up with Castiel’s warm body pressed up against his and the early morning sunlight streaming through the windows.

Dean sat up and searched for his phone.

07:18

Oh crap. They’d fallen asleep and ended up being locked in after all it seemed.

Luckily, Dean had woken up before the school day began and they were found by the janitor or, god forbid, some students.

He turned to wake Castiel but paused for a moment to take in the man lying next to him.

Castiel’s hair was a mess and his shirt was rumpled from sleep, and he was the most beautiful soul Dean had ever seen. Now Dean had him, he wasn’t ever going to fuck it up again.

Running a soothing hand through Castiel’s hair, Dean leant down to whisper in his ear. “Cas, you gotta wake up. We fell asleep, dude.”

Castiel blinked awake, and squinted up at Dean. Yup, Dean was pretty sure he was in love with him at this point.

“Good morning, Dean.” Castiel said, his voice even more gravelly than usual.

And even with the risk of getting caught, Dean couldn’t help but lean down and place a soft kiss on Castiel’s lips.

Eventually, the two men rose to their feet and tidied the classroom ready for the day. It was as if nothing had happened there that night.

They snuck out of the classroom, checking for any teachers that had come in early and went to the teacher’s bathroom to freshen up.

As they walked into the teacher’s lounge later on, Dean had a smug smile on his face. He’d had an amazing night with Castiel and they’d got away with staying there all night, cuddled up like high school sweethearts.

The smile fell from his face when he saw the new addition to the notice board.

There in full colour, on poster paper, was a photo of him and Castiel curled up around each other on Dean’s classroom floor.

Dean felt the heat rush to his cheeks. He turned to Castiel and saw the same on his face.

“Ah I see you guys have seen the newest item on the agenda for our staff briefing.” Charlie’s voice appeared from behind them.

Dean turned from the picture to face Charlie’s grin.

“What did you do, Charlie?” Dean growled.

“What can I say? I stumbled across you two this morning when I happened to come in early and you just looked so adorable all snuggled up together. I couldn’t keep it to myself.” Charlie smirked.

Man, if Dean didn’t love her so much (and wasn’t so grateful to her for helping him get Cas back) he’d tear her a new one. Instead he just rolled his eyes and shrugged, putting an arm around Castiel’s shoulders and pulling him in with a proud grin.

“Keep it up there. I think it looks good, right Cas?”

“I agree. In fact, would it be okay to get a copy, Charlie?” Castiel smiled, sweetly.

Dean threw his head back with laughter. God, he loved him.

* * *

A few months later, Dean’s life was completely changed for the better. And it was all down to Castiel. He’d taken a leaf out of Castiel’s book and joined him for a run every morning. Life without turning to alcohol whenever something bad happened or when he felt low was infinitely better and Dean felt lighter.

Now, he turned up to Castiel’s house when he was getting inside his own head and they’d either stay in and watch some more David Attenborough documentaries (what could Dean say? That dude was awesome), or they’d go for a run around the block. Said run would always end in a race, which Castiel would always win. Dean could never stay a sore loser for long when he saw the blinding smile on Castiel’s face every time he won. (And getting to see him from behind, muscles tight and flexing under his running shorts, well Dean couldn’t complain.)

As the summer months came in, they even took to using the race track at school to challenge each other on.

Soon enough, the kids on Castiel’s team and some of the other students they both taught caught on and would come to watch their teachers race each other.

Even with Dean’s improved fitness, Castiel still beat him to the finish line. But it never mattered to Dean when the rush of endorphins took over him and he’d pull Cas into a hug as they both tried to catch their breaths. Their chests moving together as Dean placed a secret peck to his boyfriend’s temple.

Only, today was different. It was almost the end of the school year and the kids on Cas’ team had convinced him to challenge Dean one last time. Dean, as always, was down to have a friendly spar with his boyfriend.

They did a couple of laps and Castiel took an early lead like he always did but this time Dean pushed hard in the last couple of meters and passed Castiel to go on and get across the finish line first.

Dean’s students were cheering for him as he leapt with joy, smashing as fist in the air.

Castiel walked up to him, catching his breath, with a wide smile. He went to pull Dean into their usual casual hug but this time Dean didn’t just settle for a secret peck. Instead, he pulled Cas in for a deep kiss, drowning out the increased cheers of the students on the bleachers.

When they broke apart, foreheads touching and panting into each other’s mouths, Dean whispered. “Thank you, Cas.”

“For what?” Castiel frowned.

“For everything.”

A/N: So this ended up being hella longer than I was expecting but Dean and Cas wouldn’t let me stop lmao

Hope you guys enjoyed!

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like-a-bag-of-potatoes · 4 years

Text

Then and Now - Dear Diary

AN: It's been a while since I’ve written Supernatural, or Dean, but I'm back now with a new Series. Gonna be 10 parts in total with a lot of feels and fluffs. I've been toying with this idea since I started re-watching spn earlier this year (thank you quarantine) and then after reading a series by the amazing @percywinchester27 I got inspired and started writing. Shout out to my awesome beta @thorne93, you da bees knees.

AN2: I'm doing a thing where I raffle off a personalised drabble every month. How do you join? Easy, just hammer that reblog button. Reblog is one entry, reblog with comment is two entries. So you help spread my work and you might get a little sumpthin’ in return. Win Win

Pairing: AUDean x Reader

Warnings: Some grade A second hand embarrassment (it gets a bit awkward, yo!) There's some talk about sex in this. Italics are entries from her diary.

Wordcount: 2070

CATCH UP HERE

Summary: It's 2010 and you’re back in Lawrence to settle your family’s affairs after your mom passed. You hope to be in and out of town before anyone really knows you’re there, but that doesn't go as plan. Will a certain green eyed mechanic convince you to come back to the life you once had in Lawrence? Or are you going to return to the real world as soon everything is settled.

Three weeks had passed since that night by the lake, and the farm was back in pristine condition. You had worked tirelessly, day in and day out, with some help from your friends of course. It had been so great to reconnect with them all. Honestly, you were the happiest that you had been in a while. There still was a dull ache in your heart though, one that seemed to strengthen every time you were with Dean. It was hard to be around him, to be his friend when you knew that was all it was ever going to be. And now that there was nothing left to keep your days occupied, that old restless feeling had settled in your bones again.

This life wasn't meant for you. Not on this farm. Not Dean. Not even your friends. It was an unachievable dream, just out of reach, and it was slowly driving you insane. Hope had ignited in you that night by the lake, maybe, just maybe there was a chance for you and Dean, but nothing had happened since then to tell you that that was the case. So now you were convinced you had put more meaning in his words than was really there.

Some days you would stop by the pet shop and say hi to Red, which now was something you looked forward to. Donna told you that he had been a lot happier since you started visiting him, and at times he was a real chatterbox now. You would let him on your shoulder and walk around the store while you talked softly to him, treating him some sunflower seeds here and there. Red greeted you with a high pitched hello every time you walked through the doors, and when you left, he would reach his little foot out as if he was trying to stop you from leaving. At times you wondered if he would make a good travel companion. If he could come with you in your truck as you drove around the country, but those thoughts were quickly pushed aside.

It was another beautiful Saturday morning, music was blasting from your old boombox as you cleared out your closet. It was an old mixed CD that Dean had given you way back when, filled with Metallica, Zeppelin, Skynyrd, and everything else Dean listened to. REO Speedwagon played in the background as you found the stacks of old diaries in the far right corner, hidden under some other junk. A smile played on your lips as you pulled them out, five of them in total, all with different covers around them.

“This is bound to be awkward,” you mumbled to yourself as you picked them all up and carried them with you down stairs.

After filling your cup with coffee, you brought it all with you to the front porch to start what would most definitely be an embarrassing trip down memory lane.

June 1st 1995

Dear diary.

I had a huge fight with Jo today. We were gonna hang out after my guitar lesson and she just kept houding me to play… IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. I asked her nicely to back off, but she wouldn't leave it alone. Then she said I was just scared of embarrassing myself in front of Dean and I was sooooooo mad at her. Like… I swore her to secrecy when I told her about my crush on him and now… God… I don't think I can ever face him again.

She's such a BITCH sometimes.

The word ‘bitch’ was spelled out in big red letters, and you couldn't help but chuckle at your fifteen year old self. Gone were the days when your troubles were this innocent.

There was no entry for a couple of days, just some doodles of Dean's name over and over again.

June 5th 1995

So I made up with Jo. She apologized which I know is, like, super hard for her to do, so we’re good again. She told me Dean has been acting really strange the last few days. Been all quiet and stuff. She said that Benny told her that Cas had told him that Dean asked Cas if he thought I had a crush on him.

Jo thinks Dean has a crush on me too, but I don't think so. The last girlfriend he had was Lisa Braeden and she's so beautiful. No way I can compete with that. I just need to get over these stupid feelings so things can go back to normal.

You skimmed through a few more entries, stuff about tests at school and plans for the summer holiday, then some thoughts and ideas for your birthday. It was all very tame.

But then…

June 14th 1995

HE KISSED ME!!!! I can't believe Dean actually kissed me… and on my birthday. It was so perfect, and his lips were so soft. It was better than I could ever have imagined. I'm so happy right now I could just scream. He asked me if I would go with him to the lake tomorrow and I literally can't wait. I can't even stop smiling.

It was the perfect first kiss with the perfect guy.

Then there was a drawn heart with Dean’s name in it. Without realizing it, your fingers ghosted over your lips as you recalled the kiss. It was a bit frustrating that you hadn't written it down in more detail, but the butterflies that coursed through you told you that you remembered it just fine.

Time didn't really register as you sat and flipped through the pages of your diaries, so when Dean pulled up, you didn't know how long you had sat there. The coffee had long been forgotten and was now too cold to drink.

“What's all this?” Dean asked as he plumped down in the empty chair.

“My old diaries,” you said with a smile. “I found them earlier in my closet. It's so awkward, but I just can't stop reading,” you explained with a chuckle. It was hard to ignore the uproar of butterflies in your stomach at the sight of Dean, but you did your best to push it aside.

“Lay it on me,” he gently ordered with that cheeky grin of his.

“You want me to read you my diary?” You asked in bewilderment.

“Yes!” he exclaimed, laughing.

“Brace yourself for some grade A second hand embarrassment, Winchester,” you warned and he made a point of getting comfortable in his seat. You opened the book on a random page and started reading. “June 21, 1995. It's been a week since Dean and I kissed for the first time, and I still can't believe he asked me to be his girlfriend. Like, for real-” Dean chuckled and you chanced a look up at him, but he urged you to continue. “I mean, I have never been anyone's girlfriend before so I'm not really good at it I think. Like, can I just hold his hand whenever I want now? Or kiss him? ‘Cuz I want to do that all the time. I just don't want him to feel like I'm too clingy or something like that.” Your cheeks burned with embarrassment.

Dean just chuckled. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“About my insecurities?-” he nodded -”I didn't want you to think I was a dweeb,” you said as if it was the most obvious thing.

“That ship sailed long before that,” he said, erupting into laughter when you stuck your tongue out at him. “If it makes you feel any better, I wanted to hold your hand and kiss you all the time too,” he said in an exaggerated sweet tone.

“Ha! Wish I knew that back then,” you mused.

“Go on,” he said eagerly, pointing to the book in your hand.

With a deep sigh, you opened to another random page. “August 7th, 1995. Dean took me to the lake today to watch the sunset. It was beautiful. We talked about ‘doing it’.” As you read the words out loud you giggled and hid your face behind the book. “Oh my god, Dean… It's so awful,” you whined behind the book.

Dean found your embarrassment adorable, especially the smile that followed it, and the laughter. Your nose always scrunched up when you were embarrassed and it was nice to see that hadn't changed. “Go on,” he urged. “I wanna know if we ‘did it’.” Although he knew perfectly well that you didn't, not that night.

“Really?” you asked, peeking up over the book.

“Hell yeah. I'm invested in this now, don't leave me hanging.”

“I told Dean I was scared because I hadn't done it before. He said he hadn't either. I was so sure he had done it with Lisa, but apparently that was just a rumor. I want to do it with him, though. I can't think of a better person to lose my ‘V’ card to. He said he would wait for as long as I wanted.” Even as awful as this was, it was very sweet in its innocence.

“I remember that night,” he said, smiling. It wasn't that cheeky grin from a couple of seconds ago, though, it was the smile one had when recalling a fond memory. “It was a really great night.”

“It was,” you agreed. It was nice to share this with him, even though it was embarrassing, it was a story that the two of you shared, and it was nice to have this reminder of how good things once were for you. You flipped the pages once more, now looking for a specific entry. “August 12th 1995. Dean and I finally did it. It was at the lake in the bed of my truck, but it was as perfect as could be. He was so gentle with me, and patient. It hurt a lot at first, but Dean went really slow and it got better. There was a little blood afterwards and I was super embarrassed, but he didn't care. I’m so glad Dean was my first, because I don't think anyone else would make me feel so safe. Dean always makes me feel safe.” The words trailed off and you looked up at Dean, the air suddenly thick around you.

He cleared his throat before he spoke. “Well, there you have it.”

“Sorry. I didn't know it would turn so… real,” you said quietly, closing the book and placing it on the table.

“No - it's not - don't.... A lifetime ago, right?”

“Right,” you agreed. Clearing your throat, you got to your feet and rubbed your clammy hands on your jeans. “Want a beer?” Now, you were eager to change the subject to just about anything else.

Dean looked up at you with apprehension as he accepted the bottle from you. He didn't know how much longer he could hold back his feelings. It was a decision made with his brain rather than his heart, to wait until he was sure you weren't gonna leave again. Every day was a new challenge, and he had to convince himself all over again that this was for the best, even though he desperately wanted you back in his arms. It was so clear to him now, why no relationship he’d had worked out, because no matter who they were or how happy they made him, they were never you. No one could take your place in his heart, not ever. “You know-” he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, looking anywhere but right at you -”that night meant a lot to me too. And not just because I got laid for the first time,” he said with a chuckle. Typical Dean to add some joke into a serious conversation. “But because it was you.”

The truth he spoke was clear in his emerald orbs and it damn near melted your heart. “I guess it was pretty great. Especially for two teenagers who were too immature to say the word ‘sex’ out loud,” you mused, a crooked smile on your lips.

“You know what I think we should do?” Dean asked after a moment of silence.

“What?”

“We should grab some beers and head up to the lake to watch the sunset. Bring some blankets and stuff like we used to do, you know?”

“I would like that very much,” you said earnestly.

T&N Tags: @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @capandbuckylvr @superapplepie @sandlee44 @eliwinchester99 @sunflowers-n-rocknroll

SPNTags: @atc74 @akshi8278

AllThingsTags: @campingmonkey

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#dean winchester #dean x reader #dean series #spn fanfic #dean winchester fanfic #dean fluff #Dean angst #SPN series #dean winchester fanfiction

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castielsbeeslippers · 3 years

Text

Ficlet to go with my poem / art here ☕️✨

It had been a long drive into the crisp Colorado night.

The highway stretches out and the mountains loomed above. Daybreak was at their heels as the sun slowly crept into the sky.

Dean let out a well earned yawn.

Earning him a soft knowing smile from his angel in the passenger seat.

“We should find somewhere to rest.”

Dean fought back another yawn and hummed in agreement.

“M’ you’re right Cas , next halfway decent place we see we’ll stop.”

Dean lazily smiled over at Cas stealing a glance at his fingers gently tapping against khaki covered knee. The music was low and hardly distinguishable from the low rumble of the road.

Cas gave a satisfied sigh.

The next sign that came into view in the low morning light read :

‘Tom’s Diner’ Next exit’

Dean glided his sleek black car into the right shoulder and down the off ramp.

Within a few minutes they had arrived. The headlights of impala flashed unto the diner’s wide glass window as a wheel moved quickly off the road and into a vacant parking lot.

“Go head inside , M’ call Sam catch him up to speed.”

Cas nodded.

Last Sam had heard they were knee deep in werewolf corpses.

They ended up smack dab in between some kind of family power struggle. It was a whole mess drama and frankly Cas was completely wiped from the whole experience.

He smiled kindly at the waiter and found a table overlooking the parking lot. He could see Dean clearly. He was smiling and shaking his head as he spoke to his younger brother.

Cas scooted into the booth and straightened out his coat. The seats were well worn. What once was a vibrant red was now more subdued and wrinkled.

Castiel’s eyes glanced around the small diner. It was very 50’s. Checkerboard floor , red accents and table top quarter jukeboxes. Photos of burgers and milkshakes littering the white walls. While a milkshake sounded good... the only thing Cas wanted was a warm cup of coffee.

He found himself again looking out the large windows as Dean emerged from the Impala the morning sun reflecting off the cars smooth body. Cas felt the tips of his ears glow. Like a highschooler catching a glimpse of their crush. He chuckled at himself , but there was no denying the way the light hit Dean’s face. He was radiant.

The freckles peppering his nose and cheeks. The summer had been kind to them , bringing them out to be admired. The sunlight caught on his green eyes like stained glass and it made the angels heart skip.

Cas closed his eyes and grinned letting himself sink back into the booth for what felt like only a moment.

“Earth to Cas.” Dean teased.

Cas opened his eyes and hummed.

“Just tired.”

“Yeah , I’ll say we didn’t sign up for all that Were-sibling rivalry.” Dean laughed.

“Order anything yet?”

“No , I was waiting for you.” Cas answered.

Dean waved over the young waiter.

They ordered two black coffee’s and short stacks with the works.

Conversation came easy as they finished breakfast.

Cas reached out laying his open hand on the table tilting his head, eyes twinkling. Dean smirked and placed his own within it.

“You’re so sappy.” Dean said through his smile. His hand squeezing Cas’s softly.

“You find it , and I’m quoting you here , adorable.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

Cas took a drink of his coffee with his free hand and grinned.

“Okay , m’ going to go pick up the tab.” Dean said getting up and placing a sticky kiss on Cas’s lips. Syrup. Cas shook his head. He’d told Dean he used way too much.

Cas glanced down at his coffee stained napkin, his own still in hand.

Dean was patiently waiting to pay. He was slightly swaying to the soft melody coming from a table jukebox. A faint sound of “Can’t help falling in love.”

Cas was inspired. He reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a small dark blue pen and wrote on on the on the closet thing. His napkin.

The words came easy as Cas penned them. He had been making a habit of it. Writing down his thoughts as poems or quotes. Sometimes his own, other times it was one he had memorized from poets and writers big and small.

He wondered if Dean had read any of them. The small doodles and chicken crotch he had left laying around the bedroom or library. This was the second poem he was writing about Dean and it felt so right.

Tag list : Tag list : @my-favourite-hellatus , @nguyenxtrang , @i-dont-even-wanna-know -, @withclawsandsympathy , @sideofangels , @hazel-eyed-bi @lilac-void

Feel free to ask to be added or removed 🖤

#cillabeefic #destiel #destiel ficlet #deancas

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moody-bloosh · 4 years

Text

i only have one heart (Bruno Buccellati, Prosciutto)

oh bOY passion project time! here i present to you the age old question, who is best? Childhood friend or mysterious transfer student? ; )

This is just some very self-indulgent, fluff, angst, teen drama nonsense that I wanted to write because I’ve been such shoujo manga trash recently. No one asked for this but someone did say that they wanted to see Prosci stealing Bucci’s lover. So this is the next best thing I came up with.

Enjoy~!

we’ll always be together, and that’s a promise.

His mother had left and his father was always working late, so of course Bruno would spend almost every other day at your house. As children, you would spend your every waking hour together. He’d be bullied and teased by the local children.

‘Unwanted child,’ they’d call him. Because of the fact that his mother had left. Because of the fact that his father was never home.

You would always come to his defense, coming at the local bullies with unparalleled fury. On the floor, beat up and chastened, the bullies would glare at you as you rushed back to Bruno. As you helped him up, already wiping away the tears falling down his chubby childish cheeks, they bullies would yell at you with all the venom a child could muster.

“Ew! _____ likes Bruno!”

“That’s right I like Bruno!” You fired back, not noticing the adoring glimmer he had in his eyes.

Holding hands as you walked home, pinky promises that you’d always be there for him, these were his treasures. The memories he held on to, to stave off the crushing silence that awaited him in his lonely home.

Looking back, wasn’t this the start?

Now the head of the Public Morals committee, it wasn’t strange for Bruno to end up fixing your uniform for you. He’d always chide you for leaving the top two buttons on your uniform open.

“They need to be buttoned up,” he would say as he would come closer to fix your uniform for you.

“It’s a style,” you would complain as he fussed over you much like a mother would their eldest child.

How the tables had turned now. He was certainly a far cry from the bullied little boy who always needed your protection. He’d really started to come into his own in high school. He was respected, adored, always breaking some poor girl or boy’s heart with a genuinely apologetic yet firm rejection. As the two of you would walk home together, you would find yourself reproaching him.

“I can’t believe you rejected someone again! That last one was really cute too,” you commented.

“They’re just not my type,” he replied blandly.

“Why is there anyone you like right now?”

A gulp he hopes you won’t notice. Really, what could he do when you looked at him like that? Eyes wide, a tilt of your head to betray how curious you were. He finds himself stumbling just a bit to find a way to steer the conversation away from what he believed were his obvious feelings for you.

“If you keep annoying me like this I won’t treat you at that new cafe by the station.”

“Ugh, Bruno, you bully! What happened to that cute kid I doted on and defended, huh?!”

With a playful flick to your forehead, you were silenced. There was a cute little pout on your lips as you muttered that you were totally going to make him pay for the most expensive thing in the cafe. Ah really, if he could spend the rest of his days like this, together with you. He wouldn’t ask for anything else. Just like this, he was already happy.

He shouldn’t have been so presumptuous.

“Bruno, there’s someone I like!”

Your eyes were glimmering. You were so radiant, truly the aura of someone in the throes of youthful love.

“Don’t tell anyone alright? I think he likes me too, but I’m not too sure…”

As per usual he was adjusting your uniform, you were being unnaturally docile today. No sly side comments, just a wistful look in your eyes as you stared off somewhere. Curious, Bruno followed your gaze to find that you were staring at the new transfer student, a rowdy delinquent who’d been kicked out of his last school. So that was why the look in your eyes were so familiar.

He looked at you the same way.

Why him? He couldn’t help but think. He couldn’t bring himself to ask you. He couldn’t bring himself to say it, even though it hurt, even though it felt like his heart was breaking with each and every second he spent in this horrible situation.

I was the one… who loved you first.

“I hope it goes well for you,” he says instead with a smile that doesn’t quite reach the corners of his eyes. You are only too blinded by love to notice the obviously fake smile he gives you.

For someone who hated liars, he was certainly an excellent one.

oh, first love, where is your sting?

He didn’t deserve to be loved. So stop looking at him like that, it will make his resolve waver. Don’t say those sweet words, it will make him yearn to hold you in his arms. Don’t cry, it will make him want to kiss you.

“I’m sorry, I can’t return your feelings, _____.”

You can’t fall for me, I’ll only ruin you.

What did you say to him when you first met? Ah, that was right.

“Hey, buddy! You can’t smoke up here, this is my spot!”

Your hands were on your hips as you stood above him. The cigarette was barely lit, just hanging loosely off his lips. He looked at you in the same way one would regard something like their annoying younger sibling.

“Buzz off.”

He rolled his eyes at you, he wasn’t really looking to smoke but your interruption made him want to do it just to spite you. Undeterred, you had leaned over to pluck the cigarette from his lips. Your fingers brushed his lips just the slightest bit. It was a little chapped but that was the first time you’d ever touched a boy’s lips, and you didn’t dwell on that detail for too long. Before he can even sit up, you were winding your arm like a world-renowned pitcher and launching his barely lit cigarette off the roof.

“There we go,” you said with a triumphant grin. “Bye, death stick!”

“Jesus, that- what the fuck!?”

“I told you, if you’re hanging out at my spot, you have to follow my rules.”

“…fine then, I’m leaving.”

“Hey, hey come on! Prosciutto!”

He ignores your protests, his fingers twitch. That was his last and only stick of cigarette.

Damn it.

An annoyed raise of his brow and his narrowed eyes make it clear, but just in case you weren’t getting it, he made sure to infuse his tone with as much derision as he could.

“Are you normally this annoying?”

“Well, as the class rep, I’m here to make sure everyone gets along!”

“Just leave me alone,” he huffed, aggravated.

“Sorry no can do! Our homeroom teacher told me to keep an eye on you, specifically. So I guess, I’ll be in your care, Prosciutto.”

A beat of silence as he regards your outstretched hand.

“You’re a real pain in the neck, aren’t you?”

“I’m just doing my job,” you said with a bright sunny smile on your face. Ha.

Perhaps that determination you had, the sincerity in your annoying eyes, it could be quite endearing. That was bad. Very, very bad. He has to extricate himself from you, he can’t let himself be attached to you.

“I’m here to give you the notes you missed in class,” you said, clutching a small stack of papers close to your chest. “Feeling better now, Prosci?”

“You cannot be serious,” he groans, then as if noticing your new nickname for him, he snaps. “Don’t call me that.

“Ah, but it’s cute isn’t it?”

“It’s not, it’s annoying just like you.”

“Hmm, alright…”

Damn it, don’t sound so smug. He definitely won’t allow you to talk to him like that, okay?

Your notes are messy, but it is littered with sticky notes trying to explain the lesson to him. There are even ugly little doodles that made him snort. A small smile makes its way on his face before he catches himself a little too late. Damn it, this was bad. This was very, very bad.

Sooner or later, he was bound to let his guard down.

You were smiling, even though you were so frightened, even though it must have hurt.

“I’m fine, Prosciutto.”

It was supposed to be just a simple task, you were buying materials for the play your class was putting on for the school festival. But he had been recognized and that put you at risk. He dispatches of the thug quickly enough but the damage had already been done.

There was a deep gash on your leg, one that would likely leave a scar. Though it wasn’t anything too serious, his gaze lingered on it. The sight of it blood seeping through bandages brings back memories of nights spent bloodied and bruised, with slumped over bodies littering the floor in front of him. He remembers the sight of his friends, Sorbet and Gelato, beaten up within an inch of their life because of their ties to him and the others.

He remembers the sight of them, even now there were still bruises, wounds, scars that would never heal.

He couldn’t let that happen to you. That was why, it was better to break your heart.

Don’t worry, you are not alone in that painful endeavor.

the sunny afternoon is punctuated with rain.

Your hiccups and sobs fill the quiet afternoon as you walk to the exit. As always, Bruno is waiting for you. His lips are drawn in a grim line. There are no words of comfort offered save for his usual line for you.

“Let’s walk back home together.”

Prosciutto remembers how you looked at him when he asked you, “why are you being so kind to me?”

“Because, you had such lonely eyes, eyes that were just begging to be loved.”

You had said it like it was the most natural thing in the world, there was this dreamy, content look in your eyes as you said it too. So sincerely, with so much conviction. It was unfair. What was he to do when you looked at him like that? But then you realized your slip up and the moment is over already. You couldn’t help it, you loved him so much, sometimes words like that just slipped out.

“What the hell?” He said, practically doubling over in laughter at your words, laughing freely for the first time in a long while. He looked so innocent while he was laughing.

Ah, right, that was the time.

Your teardrops were still on the floor, he noted.

Damn it all. He can’t help it, opening up a window, he smokes right there in the classroom.

#jojo's bizarre adventures #bruno buccellati #bruno buccellati x reader #prosciutto #prosciutto x reader #passione gakuen au #high school au #la squadra #la squadra di esecuzione #play #side a

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verobatto · 5 years

Text

Destiel Chronicles

(Vol. XIX)

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Tell me the Truth

(6x04/6x05/6x06/6x07/6x08/6x13)

Hello my dear! How have you been? I'm here with another volume from this Chronicles.

This time I want to talk about the truth as a recurrent topic in the first half of this season.

I'm gonna mix some bi Dean concept too, this will be mostly a Dean centric meta.

O want to give thanks to my friend @agusvedder , she couldn't make me the gifs for this meta but we discussed a lot about this topic. Thank you girl!

Let's start...

Saying goodbye to Lisa and Ben

Ok, I will collect here an amount of observations I made in several chapters in which we can see Dean breaking up with Lisa and Ben as his family.

In episode 6x06 Live Free or Twihard , calling back to 6x02, we had Dean feeling himself a monster and becoming one.

At the beginning of the episode, the Winchester brothers went to investigate to a house, a girl's room, vampires fan. Dean found a book and this is what he reads...

DEAN. Look at this. He's WATCHING her sleep. How is that not rape-y?

This is very significant because when Dean is turning into a vampire, he decided to go visit Lisa and Ben to say goodbye... So when he arrives, he just stays there by Lisa's bed watching her sleep. As a real monster. After this we all recall he pushed Ben violently and ran away. This was the beginning of the end.

In episode 6x06 "You can't handle the truth" written by Sera Gamble, even when it was a very Wincest episode, it had a very interesting topic about ASKING THE TRUTH YOU CAN'T EFFORT.

And related with Lisa here, he called her, and because he had asked for the truth, he receives the truth from her. A very hard one. She snapped at him this...

LISA: You've got so much buried in there, and you push it down, and you push it down. Do you honestly think that you can go through life like that and not freak out? Just, what, drink half a fifth a night and you're good?

DEAN: You knew what you signed up for.

Dean is excusing himself with her, she knew, he's like this. He won't change. Hunting is his life.

LISA: Yeah. But I didn't expect Sam to come back. And I'm glad he's okay. I am. But the minute he walked through that door, I knew. It was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I've ever seen. And as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy.That came out so much harsher than I meant.

Here, we have the pathologic codependency between them, but as it was written, and here's my opinion, is screaming Wincest all over, we know Sera was a fervent fan of the boys, and this doesn't surprises me. Lisa is being very hard and honest with Dean. Things are not Al right between them.

DEAN: It's not your fault.

LISA: I'm not saying don't be close to Sam. I'm close to my sister. But if she got killed, I wouldn't bring her back from the dead!

DEAN: Okay, Lis... I'm not gonna lie. Okay, me and Sam, we... we've got issues. No doubt. But you and Ben --

Here is Dean saying "Everything you had just said is truth", so more Wincest for the bag.

LISA: Me and Ben can't be in this with you. I'm sorry.

And this was the end for sure.

In this same episode, we had this scene...

Gif set credit @paladeckis

The woman is dressed in lavanda color, si, basically, is a Lisa's mirror here,asking for a lot of attention and Dean is giving her that not very hopeful answer... So yeah, Dean had decided which life he wants for him. Maybe, and as I said before, he doesn't feel he deserves a good life, or maybe because he feels like a dangerous monster that can destroy good things.

Now... Let's jump to 6x07 "Family Matters"...

There's a singular quote by the Alpha Vampire:

DEAN: I didn't realize we were on a first-name basis.

ALPHA VAMPIRE: Of course we are. After all, you were my child... for a time. Dean, tell me... did you enjoy it?

Ok, I know this is a creepy way to see it, but... Immediately after episode 6x06 we had this. And beacuse Dean is in the break up process with Lisa and Ben, this could be taken as a Dean/Ben mirror... Ben was the "monster's son" for a while, or at least that way is how Dean see it inside of him. So, symbolically, we are talking about that here.

Now... Episode 6x08 "All dogs go to Heaven" a very blantant Dean mirror with the dog-man here... First of all... Remember the monster watching in silence while the woman sleeps?? We have the same again here... The dog-man (skinwalker) his name was Lucky.

There was interesting words exchanging between Dean and Lucky, and please pay attention to Dean's speech...

DEAN: Hang on, Sam. [to LUCKY (MAN)] Listen, you don't have to tell me why you're with the family. I get it.

LUCKY (MAN): Oh, you do, do you?

DEAN: You killed every threat that came near them. You care about them, in your own whack-a-doodle kind of way. It's obvious. What I want to know is, who was that guy you were kibitzing with? He a skinwalker, too?

So... Isn't it Dean talking to himself? Do he feel like a abandoned and hurted dog that needed a refuge? A family? Now... Check this other quote...

DEAN: What are you gonna do to that family, really? You gonna put your jaws around that little boy's throat? Clamp down, listen to him cry for his mom? 'Cause I'm gonna guess that these are the only people who in your pathetic life have ever showed you any kindness. So it's either that... or you can help us stop it.

Again, the scene of Dean pushing Ben against the wall when he was about to transform into a vampire (a monster) and then... Again talking to himself. Is so blantant that my heart broke instantly...

After this, Dean decided not to shoot him bc he knew that dog was him... But things didn't end well for Lucky...

When he tries to come back to Mandy and her son, this is what happened...

MANDY: Get away from this house, you psycho. And if you ever, ever come near me or my son again, so help me...

LUCKY (MAN): I know I probably deserve...

MANDY closes and locks the door.

This is the end for the monster that wanted to have a family, the difference here is... Dean really wanted to have this kind of life?

And the answer we already know...

Gif set credit @frozen-delight

Dean is puting salt on the windows while he's saying he's out... Tell the truth Dean.

And in 6x13 "Unforgettable" Dean said another thing to his brother (to himself) to put a final period here...

DEAN: Sam, y-y-you got to understand that all that crap last year -- all of it -- none of it was you.

Ok Dean, we get it. This last year trying to be a man with a normal life and family, it wasn't you. It was a lie.

Sam's lies and foreshadowing Castiel's secrets

Before to continuó with this meta... I promised you some bi-Dean scene... Here you have.

Look how Dean checks out the police man and he even greeted him that way. As we know... Dean likes uniforms... 😉 (This gif was made by my gorgeous friend Agus!)

Ok... Let's start with the brothers here...

We all recall that scene when Sam just watched as Dean was turned into a vampire. Ok... So Dean saw it too. And that was one of his biggest alarms about his brother. This happened in episode 6x05.

In episode 6x06, another interesting parallel with the Winchesters brother and Sam's lies.

SAM: You know what a "tell" is?

OLIVIA: Excuse me?

SAM: It's a poker term... for when you're bluffing. Like what you just did with your hair.

OLIVIA: What are you trying to say?

SAM: You're lying.

DEAN is surprised at the force of SAM's inquiry.

OLIVIA: What?!

SAM: Tell us what you did to your sister.

Ok big parallel each time Dean wanted to obtain the truth about what happened with the vampire and why he didn't take care of him.

So after this we had the big scene with VERITAS, and very very WINCEST thing right here...

Gif credit @whiskeyandwhine

Look at their hands touching... Yep very disgusting and very Sera Gamble era. 😒 I'm just pointing things here for you to see what this woman wanted to do with the show.

Let's see continue now with CAS.

In this same episode we had another confession that could be analyze as a parallel and foreshadow of Castiel and his secrets.

SAM: So, you had some idea Corey might have taken her own life?

ROOMMATE: Well... she had been going through a bit of a hard time lately... at school. And then, um, her cat, Mittens, had just ran away. But, really, it was her boyfriend. She was sure that he was cheating on her. But he was just very good at covering his tracks. Which, of course, made her completely obsessed with --

Ok we are here talking about Castiel... The "boyfriend" term will be use by Balthazar twice, one with Dean and the other with Sam, referencing to Castiel. Castiel is the boyfriend, and he is cheating on Dean and Sam.

Gif credit @never-forget-viva-la-pluto

Gif set credit @sam-spirit-winchester

Also, making Balthazar calling Castiel as the Winchesters's boyfriend, equally... Another SERA GAMBLE tool, "look Cas isn't Dean's boyfriend, is Sammy's boyfriend too, so... Is irrelevant."

Episode 6x07 we had the boys discovering SAMUEL was working for Crowley, so the entire episode is a big foreshadow of what was about to happen when Dean, Sam and Bobby discover Castiel's deal with the King of Hell. And is also the episode in which the idea about Purgatory and the power of souls is presented.

And ironically, we'll have Dean and Sam literally working for Crowley too, so ... A little hole in the narrative here... But hey... We don't talk about this Season, don't we?

To conclude

Dean asked for the truth and he had it with his brother and he will have it with Castiel, the problem is... Is he ready to handle it?

The first half of the season was a foreshadow for Castiel's secret and we could see in many episodes how the writers showed us what Dean felt by leaving Ben and Lisa and how he will have to handle with a big betrayal.

In Sera Gamble era we had a lot of references to Wincest and holes in the narrative, that we will see more often in the incoming episodes.

I hope you like this! C-u in the next Chronicles!

Tagging

@magnificent-winged-beast

@emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @xsghn @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel

If you want to be tagged, please let me know.

If you want to check the previous season 6 Chronicles, the links are here: XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII.

Buenos Aires July 11st 2019 1:47 AM

#destiel chronicles #supernatural meta #destiel meta #season 6 meta #vol. XIX

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alj4890 · 5 years

Text

And Then I Met You

Part 13

What happens when the one you thought you were meant for turns out to be meant for someone else?

@krsnlove @walkerinfolkvangr @alleksa16 @penguininapinktuxedo @blackcoffee85 @stopforamoment @fullbeaumonty @cocomaxley @darley1101 @hopefulmoonobject @littleblossom357 @annekebbphotography @gibbles82 @bella-ca

Masterlist

Part 13

"Hmm. It is good to be back here." Amanda hefted one of her bags and paused when Thomas stopped her.

He pulled her to him and slipped the heavy bag off her shoulder. He cupped her face and kissed her. Her hands moved over his chest while his moved down her back. He lifted his head and looked around his home. "I'm glad you like it here."

Her grin was mischevious. "I think what made me love it so much was the owner. Have you seen him by chance?"

A smile flirted about his lips. "He's most likely busy with his wife. I'm afraid you are stuck with me."

She linked her fingers behind his head. "I suppose I can live with that." She let out a laugh when he picked her up. "Thomas! Put me down!"

He looked at her and shook his head. "I never carried you over the threshold."

She tightened her arms around his neck. "Probably because I lived here before we really knew each other. There isn't a threshold here left to cross."

"True, but there is one place you never entered." He walked upstairs and opened the door to his bedroom. He set her down and watched her go around, taking in all the little details. Her mouth fell open at a picture frame on the wall.

"Thomas! Where did this come from?"

A collage of the two of them was in a decorative metal frame. There was a picture of them when they attended the AFI ceremony. It was a closeup of the two of them looking at each other and smiling on their first night out together. Another picture was at his surprise party. The expression on his face as he looked down at her laughing was one of pure adoration. Holly or Addison had even snapped a black and white photo of the pair working together on the screenplay in his office. In that one, Thomas was talking and Amanda had her head propped on her hand while looking at him with a soft, dreamy grin.

The rest were of their honeymoon in Paris. One was of them taken from behind walking hand in hand. Another was the night Monica had offered to be her husband's mistress. Someone had captured the kiss Thomas had given her outside when he reiterated his feelings. The final one was their last night in Paris. It was a picture of them kissing at the Eiffel Tower right after Thomas surprised her with their wedding rings.

He came up behind her and slipped his arms around her. "Holly and Addison surprised me with this. They thought this would be a better wedding present than anything else. Holly contacted various reporters and paprazzi while Addison met with others to choose the best of their photos."

"This is amazing. I had no idea all these special moments with you had been captured." She leaned her head against his shoulder as he pulled her closer. "They say pictures don't lie. I believe these show how I was falling for you early on."

Thomas pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I don't believe I have ever been captured on film as happy as I am in these with you."

If melting were possible, she was certain she would at his sweet words. Amanda noticed an album sitting on a table. "What's in there?"

He furrowed his brow and reached for it. "Ah. This must be the pictures they wanted but didn't quite make the cut for the frame." They sat down on the bed and looked at their moments captured, recalling the memories.

"I guess we should go back downstairs and get the bags." She set the album back on the table. As she walked by him he took her hand and tugged her back onto the bed. Her smile grew as he kissed her.

"I believe we need to focus on something else." He said in a raspy voice.

"And what might that be?" She ran her fingers through his hair while moving closer to him.

He looked down at her. "I--", he rolled over and pulled his cell phone out and frowned while he debated on answering it.

"Who is it?" Amanda asked when she saw his hesitancy.

"Lauren Benefield." He hit ignore and turned back to Amanda. "Now, Lady Hunt. Let me share a dream I had about you in this b--".

They both looked at his phone vibrating. "Go ahead and answer it." Amanda muttered as her lips explored his neck.

Thomas ignored the call. "I've made plans this evening that involve being with my wife in this very room." He gently smoothed her hair off her forehead. "Ms. Benefield can wait."

When his phone vibrated a third time, he nearly threw it across the room. Amanda snatched it from his hand when he began searching for a place to toss it. "Let's turn it off." She noticed that this time there was a text message. "Thomas, she apologizes for disturbing you but she is only calling to change the meeting's time."

He softly cursed and called her. He settled against the bed pillows with Amanda. His fingers traced circles along her back as she rested her head on his chest.

"Mr. Hunt! I am so sorry for the calls, but I am afraid tomorrow's meeting will need to be canceled. A family emergency occurred and I will need to meet with my nephew's teachers tomorrow. Is there any possibility we could meet tonight? I would suggest tomorrow night, but I do not know how long I will be in conferences." Lauren checked her reflection as she spoke, turning sideways to make sure her sweater showed off her chest to its full advantage.

Thomas frowned as he looked down at Amanda curled up next to him. "I'm afraid I have plans that can't be broken tonight. Why don't we plan on meeting the day after tomorrow?"

Lauren's eyes narrowed while her voice was sweet and understanding. "I suppose we will have to see. Tonight was the one time I could guarantee that no other pressing matter would occur."

Amanda whispered for him to go on if he needed to. "I promise to remain here, waiting." He met her eyes and nearly groaned. "Very well. My wife is willing to alter our plans. What time should I come by?"

"How sweet! Tell her thank you and I will try to make it up to her. Would eight thirty work for you?"

Thomas glanced at the clock on his nightstand. "One hour? I will need a little more time than that to make it to the city. I should be there around nine."

Lauren flipped her golden brown hair over shoulder. "Thank you again. See you soon."

Thomas ended the call, his frown becoming more severe. He had some difficulty believing she could meet at no other time. Was this a test to see if he would play her little games? Perhaps he had misread her reasons for calling. He should give her a chance instead of being suspicious. His mind moved on to more pleasant thoughts when Amanda straddled him. She leaned down and gave a series of mind numbing kisses. Her eyes sparkled with mischief.

"That is to make sure you rush back to me." She whispered against his lips

He lovingly cupped her face and ran his thumb over her bottom lip. "You never have to worry about that." He reluctantly got up and made himself ready. He brought their luggage upstairs and kissed her goodbye.

As he was driving, he called Holly.

"Hey boss. Everything okay?"

"Yes. I am on my way to Ms. Benefield's and realized I forgot the screenplay. Would you forward a copy?"

Holly could not hide her worry. "I thought we were meeting with her tomorrow."

"She has a family emergency to take care of tomorrow. This was the only time she was free to meet."

"Thomas, stop by and pick me up. I don't think you should go on your own."

He frowned as he waited at a stop light. "Holly, you live out of the way. I am only going to stay a short time."

"I think my presence would help in making that actually happen." She took a deep breath and spoke. "I don't think you ever met Troy, did you?"

His eyes narrowed with her question. "Troy? I don't believe so. Was that producer you dated a few years ago?"

Holly doodled on a note pad as she fought her tears. "Yes. Everything was going great until he was producing a movie with Lauren in the supportive role. By the time she was through with him, she had gained the staring role and ruined our relationship. I don't want to see you get sucked into her web."

Thomas merged onto the interstate and thought of her warning. "I won't. Like I said before, if I see that she is going to be a troublemaker, then I will find someone else. For now, I think she is the right one to bring Elizabeth to life."

Holly fought snapping at him. He was tenacious when it came to the vision he had for his movies. "We could always hold auditions. Who knows? We might find someone that would make Lauren look like a second rate bit player."

Thomas held fast to his plan. "We will see. I'll get an impression of her tonight and see if I think we should follow with that suggestion."

"At least let me call in an hour so that you can escape her clutches." Holly pleaded.

Thomas hesistated. "Very well. I should be at her home in thirty minutes. Call an hour from then."

"Will do. Thomas?"

"Yes?"

"Please don't fall for her tricks."

"No need to be overly dramatic."

"I'm not." She hung up and stared out her window. She had a gut feeling that he was beginning to walk a tight rope. All it took was one false step with Lauren and his marriage would come crashing down.

Thomas pulled into the drive of a sprawling mansion in a neighborhood where many of the Hollywood elite resided. He picked up his notes and checked his phone for the screenplay.

Lauren opened the door and smiled. "Mr. Hunt, do come in."

He nodded in greeting. "Ms. Benefield."

She smiled and let out a soft laugh. "Please, call me Lauren." She led him into her living room and offered him something to drink. He shook his head and launched into his speech concerning the nature of her part and his vision for the film.

"Amanda and I will be returning to Cordonia in two weeks. The plan is to begin filming in a month. Do you believe you will be free to travel there for filming by then?"

She pretended to think seriously about it. "I'm not sure. I believe it should not be a problem. I usually try and spend time within the culture or study the type of person that I am to emulate. Would it be possible for me to come a week or two earlier to gain that extra layer?"

"If you do, you would be your own. I will be taking part of the court events." He explained.

Her bright smile appeared. "That's right! I forgot your wife is a duchess." Her brown eyes slowly clouded with worry. "It is a shame I can't attend a few of those to see how a duchess acts. It is hard to imagine such a way of life after growing up in Mississippi."

"I am sure my wife would be more than happy to answer your questions."

"Oh, I'm sure she would. I have heard many say how nice she is. They also say she doesn't act like how one would think a noble normally would. With this kind of part, I might need to see someone who is a tad more old-fashioned in their mannerisms and dealing with the so called commoners."

She got up to pour herself a drink and asked him again if he wanted anything. He refused again and asked if she was accepting the part.

A small pout formed as she thought of her decision. "Would it be alright if I have a few days with the script and think about it?"

"Of course." He forwarded it to her email and stood up to leave after seeing Holly's missed call. He had forgotten to turn the ringer up.

"I had a few other questions, but I understand if you need to go. I suppose I will be able to decide on whether or not I want to do this with what you have told me."

His dark eyes studied her a moment as a slight frown formed. "What type of questions did you have?"

"Mostly about my character. Her personality, what aspects you want shown with Arthur and Reginald, what type of dances and activities I need to learn, things like that." Her face was all innocence as she regarded him.

He slowly sat back down and began to answer her queries. Her smile grew in excitement. "So she is an ancestor of your wife's?"

"Yes. There are portraits of her along with journals she and Reginald kept."

"Fascinating. I wish I could read her journals. I would certainly know her mind then. Have you cast someone for Reginald yet?"

He nodded. "Chris Winters will be Reginald. Not only does he have similar features, his personality has a gentle side that is reminiscent of Reginald. He and Ryan will be the perfect opposites that your Elizabeth must decide between."

"Do I look like Elizabeth's portrait?" She said with a bashful grin.

"Not in the slightest. Elizabeth had black hair and light blue eyes."

She laughed at his direct answer. "Shall I be forced to color my hair and wear contacts?" She pulled her long hair over her shoulder and twirled a lock under the lamp light, letting the golden highlights shimmer. "As you can see, it is nowhere near that color and my eyes are much too dark."

"That can be easily decided later." He looked at his watch and stood up quickly. He was shocked to see that he had been with her for nearly three hours. "Think on the part. I need to return home."

"I will. Sorry if I ruined your plans tonight." She lifted remorseful eyes to him at her door. "I hope your wife doesn't get too angry with you. I imagine it is hard for those not familiar with our business to understand how easily time gets away when planning a film."

"Amanda is very understanding. She is the reason I came this evening." He defended.

"Oh? Good. I was worried she had been the one to keep you from answering my calls. I would have completely understood as I hate for my plans to be interrupted."

"Not at all. I'm the one who was trying to stick to my plans with her. Goodnight Ms. Benefield." He opened her door and walked outside.

"Mr. Hunt! I told you not to worry about being so formal. Lauren will do between us." Her smile was warm and friendly.

He hesitated a moment. "Very well, goodnight."

She coyly bit down on her lip. "Goodnight...Thomas." She shut the door as he continued on to his vehicle.

As soon as he pulled out of her drive, his phone rang. "Yes."

"Why didn't you pick up when I called?!" Holly demanded. "Please tell me you left then."

He cleared his throat. "No, she had some questions and I stayed longer."

"How much longer?" Holly could hear a car honking in the background. "You're just now leaving! I knew this would happen."

"Holly, the only thing she questioned was her part." He replied in an irritated tone.

"Uh huh. Well, I doubt she gets many of the men she does by suggesting they go ahead and begin an affair after the initial meeting." Holly snapped.

"Holly! That's enough. If she had remotely acted in such a manner I would have left immediately."

She let out a frustrated sigh. "You and Amanda are so happy that I can't stand the thought of that interloper trying to come between you and destroying what you have. Promise me you will take note anytime she brings Amanda up. Troy began accusing me of complaining about the time he was spending with her. Saying things like, 'you don't understand how important meetings and rehearsals are when making a movie."

"I will pay attention. Get some rest and stop worrying. I'm not about to jeopardize my life for an actress." He paused a minute. "Thank you, Holly, for checking on me."

She smiled. "Anytime. See you tomorrow boss. Addison has another costume she wants all our opinions on."

"Good. See you then." Once the call ended, he called Amanda and relaxed when he heard her voice. "I should be home in twenty minutes. I'm sorry the meeting took so long."

"That's okay. I know how easy it is for time can get away when talking about something you are passionate about. Did she accept the part? I know you were hoping she would."

"Not yet. She asked for time to look over it. Amanda? Would you mind talking to her about how a duchess' mannerisms and such are, if she accepts? Perhaps invite her to one of the court events, such as the one we host. Allow her to see how the nobility act."

"Of course. I would be glad to help."

He shook his head in wonder at her willingness to help him. "Thank you."

He could imagine her smile when she told him to remember to thank her in person. Thomas knew exactly how he would show his appreciation. The call ended and a short time later he was taken from his thoughts of what he would do as soon as he was home when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

Lauren had sent a text asking if he might be available tomorrow night to answer a few questions she had about the script, if she found herself done with her meetings early enough.

Part of him wanted to ignore the text completely. Another part wanted to inform her that there were to be no more calls or texts after daytime hours. He might still be making movies, but what he wanted to spend the majority of his time on had shifted exponetially since his marriage.

He wanted this movie to be what Amanda deserved. Her hard work on the screenplay was worthy of only the ones perfect for the part. Ryan and Chris already proved they were made for such roles. Elizabeth had to be played by the best actress he could obtain.

When he pulled into his garage, he quickly typed that he should be available if she had any questions or concerns.

Before he unlocked the door, she had sent another message.

Thank you for being so willing to help me. I want to not only understand the role, but make sure that I am the right one for the part. I am sure it has a special place in your heart since your wife wrote it. I don't want to disappoint you if I do take it. I believe if we work together on this, we will make something wonderful.

#choices rcd #choices red carpet diaries #thomas hunt #thomas hunt x oc

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queen-scribbles · 5 years

Text

Complete Confidence

for @pillarspromptsweekly 82: March Forth. Had some fun with Keya and various associated OCs. Some of whom I now love entirely too much for them not existing before I wrote this.

Things were usually quiet at Caed Nua when the Watcher was gone. Sure, there would be the occasional attempt by bandits thinking they were weaker with their Lady gone. (They quickly found out otherwise) Or oozes and trolls would emerge from below, or a petitioner would take issue with seeing Watcher Illani’s representative rather than the woman in charge herself. (Especially when they learned her representative was an orlan.)

Keya was well-accustomed to dealing with all of it. And she didn’t mind a little excitement, but she was also perfectly happy when things stayed calm. Boring to use her friend and employer’s word. This occasion--the longest Tavi had ever gone on one of her Dyrford trips--appeared to be following the pattern. One irate delegate who didn’t wish to deal with a “cat fucker”(she had to stop Ioan from punching the man in the jaw as he escorted him out), but otherwise things were humming along like normal.

Until one of the guards returned from patrol with reports of drake activity and xaurips tracks near the soutern edge of Caed Nua’s territory

“How sure are you, Caitha?” Keya asked, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. Tavi was going to be in Dyrford another three weeks, at least. If there was really a drake--especially one with a cult following it--in their territory, it couldn’t wait for her return. They’d need to deal with it now, before they attacked the fortress.

Caitha shrugged apologetically, smoothing a lock of nut brown hair back toward her bun. “I saw the xaurip tracks and, uh, drake leavings m’self, boss.”

“Damn,” Keya said with a sigh. She looped one of her narrow braids around her index finger and tugged it hard, forcibly resisting the urge to chew on it as she thought. “How fresh?”

“A week old at most.” Caitha shifting uneasily. “It looked like a lot of xaurips,”

Well, that fucking clinched it. Keya let go of the braid to instead massage her temples. Illani owes me big time for dealing with this shit. “D’you think, before you go off duty, you could show a couple of the scouts--maybe Gjyra and Caed--where you saw it? On a map, I mean. See if they can track it, find either the drake’s roost or the xaurips’ camp. Better we take the fight there than let it decide to come here.”

Caitha nodded. “Sure thing. They in the barracks?”

“Dining hall, last I saw ‘em,” Keya replied, nodding her gratitude. “Dismissed.”

Caitha thumped a fist to her chest and inclined her head slightly--”Boss”--before heading that direction.

Keya waited until she was gone to drag one hand down her face and let her shoulders slump. She’d never hoped for one of the keep’s soldiers to be mistaken about something before, but fighting a drake would not be fun.

She would much rather things stay boring.

~~<>~~

Unfortunately, that was not to be.

Gjyra and Caed dutifully set off for the location Caitha marked. They returned, muddy and just a little bruised, almost a week later and corroborated Caitha’s report; there was a drake with a substantial xaurip clan worshiping it not quite two days out from Caed Nua.

Keya gave herself all of five seconds to process and mentally grouse before reminding herself At least it’s only one, and heading for the barracks. She needed a team big enough to safely deal with the problem without leaving Caed Nua vulnerable while they were gone. Given what Gjyra had reported about the xaurip numbers(big enough clan for three high priests), things could get ugly real fast if they were under-prepared.

Ten seemed safe. For a single drake and a xaurip clan, ten was probably enough to handle them without risking the fortress’ safety. Caitha and Ioan both promptly volunteered as soon as she made her plans known.

“You know this won’t be easy, I hope,” Keya felt obligated to point out. Caitha nodded and Ioan smirked.

“Why d’you think I wanna come?” he shot back. “This is a threat you’ll actually let me hit.”

Keya rolled her eyes and sighed in fond exasperation. “One disgruntled bastard does not equal a threat. Didn’t want you causin’ a diplomatic incident with a fuckin’ lord over an insult I’ve all but gone numb to. Though your loyalty is noted and deeply appreciated. Try not to let it get you killed, huh?”

“Do m’best, but I can’t promise anything,” Ioan winked.

“Bastard,” Keya grumbled, but couldn’t resist a smile. “Go get ready.”

“Yes, boss.” He saluted and darted for the barracks.

Caitha shook her head as she followed. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t forget anything important. Like his head. Or common sense.”

Keya laughed. “Thanks. Second of those might be a losin’ battle. His type ain’t big on common sense.”

Caitha stopped and raised an eyebrow. “His type? Do you mean elves or barbarians?”

Keya snorted. “Given who our real boss is and what she’s like, I’m tempted to say elves. But I was referrin’ to barbarians.”

“On that I’ll agree with you. Still, I’ll do my best.” Caitha resumed course for the barracks, and Keya headed for her quarters to gather her gear and check her armor.

~~<>~~

It took into the following day for them to be ready, but there were still plenty of daylight hours for them to get underway and make some good progress. And so, mid-morning, Keya led her small army(all volunteers; this was a dangerous task) forth from Caed Nua in hopes of dealing with this drake as quickly as possible so they could get home.

They were a handful to wrangle; Ioan was not the only hothead with dreams of killing a dragon who volunteered. The bickering was largely tolerable, but she did have to issue some scoldings when things edged toward too heated. The weather was fair, however--typical of Early Summer, and they made good time down the road.

“How well organized did the xaurips seem?” Keya asked Caed and Gjyra as they walked.

“They’re xaurips, boss,” Caed said with a shrug. “This lot didn’t seem any more intelligent or stupid than average. There were a lot of them, though.” He scratched behind one ear. “Gjyra told you about-”

“The multiple priests, yes,” Keya nodded. “That’s what has me worried, they don’t usually share well. They’re pretty clannish and territorial, so for these three to merge and share one drake as their deity is unusual.” She chewed on the end of a braid in thought. “Did it seem like one of the priests was more important? Bigger headdress, more bone necklaces, or whatever? Like that clan maybe overpowered and absorbed the others?”

Caed shook his head. “They seemed pretty equal to me. One big happy family.”

Keya snorted at his wry tone. “Great. This will just be so much fun.”

“Some of ‘em definitely think so,” Caed commented with a laugh. “I think I heard Ioan and Ambili debating whether to hang the skull in the barracks or in the dining hall.”

She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t really blame them for their excitement. “Bold of them to assume they get a say. The Watcher’s the one who gets to pick, it bein’ her damn keep an’ all. She might take a suggestion from whoever kills it, but it’s her call in the end if she even wants it displayed.”

“Try telling them that.”

“Oh, I will. They don’t scare me. I need to address everyone tonight when we make camp anyway.” Keya skirted a mud puddle and almost ran into the lanky scout. ”I’ll just be real clear about what’s happening to the drake once it’s blazin’ dead.”

~~<>~~

There was some grumbling, as expected, when Keya relayed the reminder that night. But they all knew two things: she was correct, and the Watcher was generally laid back and open-minded when it came to Caed Nua’s decoration. So whoever killed the drake had a decent shot at the skull hanging where they wanted.

Following Caed and Gjyra’s guidance and Keya’s leadership, they made it within an hour’s march of the drake’s lair by the time they needed to camp again. Keya took the first watch along with Ioan, and was sorely tempted to murder him within the first hour, as his impatience and eagerness made him far too restless to sit still.

“You keep fidgetin’ like that an’ I’ll use you as xaurip bait tomorrow,” she finally warned.

“Sorry. This is prob’ly the closest I’ll ever get to fightin’ a full dragon, and I guess I’m already excited about it.” He didn’t sound more than half-apologetic.

Oh, so many ways to respond to that. Keya doodled in the dirt with the toe of her boot as she picked one. “Longtime dream of yours, I take it?”

Ioan scoffed quietly. “Goin’ on eighty years.”

Keya snorted at the deadpan reminder of how long his race lived. He’d been dreaming of slaying dragons more than twice as long as she’d been alive. “Oh, is that all?”

He laughed, a little too loud, and caught himself when a sleepy oath issued from a nearby tent. “We could wait a few decades, let this beast mature into a full dragon, would that do?”

“It’s going to be a hard enough fight as a drake,” Keya groaned. “Let’s not. Especially since this one has a not-so-little cult. I’ve fought a drake before, with Tavi. Lemme tell ya, Ioan, they don’t go down easy.”

Ioan grinned, teeth flashing in the firelight. “Good thing we don’t either, ay?”

She admired his confidence, untested as it may have been. “I sure hope so.”

“C’mon, with you leadin’ us”--he nudged her with his elbow--”thing doesn’t have an ember’s chance in the White March.”

“Thanks.” Keya sighed, absently pinching the bridge of her nose. “Hope that’s enough. Sometimes numbers trump leadership, and there’s apparently a lot of xaurips.”

“Course it will be. We’ve got you and you’ve got me,” Ioan said playfully, spreading his hands in a mock-aggrandizing gesture.

Keya shot him a flat look. “We can slay them with your ego, is that what you’re saying?”

“Confidence, boss, not ego,” he corrected. “Complete and utter confidence.”

“Whatever lets you sleep at night,” she chuckled, and they lapsed into silence for the rest of their watch. Still, his encouragement and confidence warmed her.

~~<>~~

That warmth lingered all the way through the night and the next morning’s journey to the drake cave. Given the difficulty she’d had in the beginning getting some of the soldiers to take orders from an orlan, their willingness to follow her now was gratifying. (Though, to his credit, whatever flaws he had, Ioan had never been a problem in that regard) It dimmed slightly as they found actual xaurip tracks to follow, and she had a visual for how many Caed and Gjyra had meant by ‘a lot’.

As they stood outside the cave, she issued her final instructions. “Alright, Garet, Ambili, keep the drake’s attention while the rest of us take care of the xaurips. Then we’ll help you finish it off.” She saw the protest rising in Ioan’s eyes and spoke before he could. “You’re better use fightin’ crowds and you know it. Kill ‘em fast and you can have at the drake.”

He did know it, but Keya was sure Ambili’s smirk was still hard to ignore. “Yes, boss.”

She reached up and clapped a hand to his arm high as she could reach. “Just thin the numbers some and you can switch focus.” She waited until he nodded to continue. “Caitha, Caed, you’re support. Keep back, bolster those who need it, but don’t get reckless. Everyone else, fight smart as well as hard.”

All of them nodded understanding, and in they went.

~~<>~~

It was a grueling fight. Keya hadn’t expected otherwise, of course, but anticipation and experience were two different animals. And grueling felt like a good word for a fight that claimed two of her men and injured damn near everyone else to some degree.

By the time she got the killing blow on the drake, it felt like vengeance for the lost as much as duty to protect Caed Nua’s territory. Still, for their odds, they’d come out rather well and she knew it. Especially since Caitha and Caed--the other two with healer’s expertise--escaped relatively unscathed, thank the gods. She didn’t have to do all the patching up by herself--

“Ow!” Ioan flinched and Keya pulled herself back to the task at hand with a self-recriminating wince.

“Sorry,” she said, loosening the bandages she’d pulled too tight.

“I know you like to joke about me havin’ a big head, boss, but I don’t think that’s the way to fix it,” he said dryly. He shot her a lopsided grin, the bandages over his left eye preventing its full spread.

Keya rolled her eyes. “At least you still have your sense of humor. Hylea forbid you lose that.”

She felt the shiver as he repressed a snort. “Gods, don’t make me laugh right now.”

“Sorry.” Keya glanced over toward where Caed was stitching a long gash down Ambili’s arm, and then back at Ioan. With him seated and her standing, they were roughly eye to eye, so she could meet his gaze as she added, “also sorry for stealin’ your dream.”

“What, ‘cause you vaulted off my shoulder to kill the damn thing?” Ioan asked, amused. “Why would you need to apologize for that? It was blazin’ badass. ‘Sides, I still got to fight a drake, and this”--he lightly tapped the bandages--”is gonna make one Hel of a scar. That’s memento enough for me.” He rubbed at a bruise on his forearm. “An’ speaking of mementos, whatcha plannin’ to do with the drake skull?”

Keya smirked. “Keep in in my room so you bastards don’t fight over it. At least for now. Maybe when Tavi gets back I’ll talk to her about hangin’ it somewhere more visible.” She tied off the bandages and stepped back to survey her work, shooting Ioan a wink as she did. “You can come look at it whenever y’ want, though.”

“In your room? People really will talk, boss,” he deadpanned.

“Eh, let ‘em.” She wiped healing salve and blood off her hands with a rag, frowned at the clinging remnants in her fur. She’d have to scrub hard later. “They’ve been talkin’ since the first time you were unruffled by havin’ an orlan in charge. ‘Less it bothers you,” she amended.

“Nah.” Ioan shook his head and winked at her with his good eye. “Okay, gods, that was weird. But we know the truth.”

“True.” She gave him one last look to ensure he wasn’t bleeding through and the bandages looked secure. “There. You’ll live to fight another another day.”

“What a relief. I knew I was in good hands.”

Keya rolled her eyes at the teasing praise “Get your shit together. You an’ Ambili were the last ones who needed to be patched up, and looks like Caed’s almost done with her.”

Ioan saluted off his good side with a playful ”Yes, boss,” and pushed to his feet.

Keya waited until he’d walked off to clean up the healer’s paraphernalia and start packing her things. It was going to be a long walk back to Caed Nua, made longer by injury, hauling the drake skull, and her own regret at the lives lost. She’d had men under her die before, once, and it never got any easier. Their losses keep this from feeling like a victory, but at least they’d succeeded at their goal and the drake was no longer a threat.

It took the entire journey home to convince herself that was a tolerable trade, despite Caitha’s reassurances and Ioan’s darkly-humored attempts to lift her spirits. If this was excitement, Keya reiterated to herself, she would definitely rather things had stayed boring. But at least she had good people around, who she was confident could help her through.

-----------------------------------------------

So in writing this I learned that Keya is not ‘M’lady’ or ‘Captain’ or anything else when she’s in charge. She’s just ‘Boss’, as both a title and a nickname. I feel like this has roots in her Deadfire/Explorer background; maybe she worked for someone who went by ‘Boss’, but she’s still being vague on those details.

Ioan(Ewan) and Caitha are her right hand people, just like she is for Tavi. They were the only one who never seemed to have any issue listening to an orlan, so she trusts them the most and they’re friends as well as underlings. So they banter, and she and Ioan trash-talk each other on occasion(Caitha’s more reserved, but she’s gotten some good verbal jabs in a coupe times).

#queens fic #pillars prompts weekly #keya durran #caitha merrick #ioan #who totally isn't missing a last name bc i couldn't think of one #it's def bc he's an orphan or something #not bc i ran out of inspiration in the name area >.>

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shirtlesssammy · 6 years

Text

9x06: Heaven Can’t Wait

Guys, we’ve made it. This is hands down Boris’s favorite episode. I watch it as comfort food and I love every second of it. It’s also really gay, guys. I can never give this episode justice in this recap, but I love it so, so much.

Then:

How can anyone turn this face out of their home?

Now:

In Rexford, ID, in a secluded home, a distressed man is on the phone with a suicide hotline. The woman on the line is pleading with the man to listen to her and save his own life. He cuts the line, pulls his gun, and sees an old photo of what we can only assume is his mother and himself as a small child, and he stops, dropping the gun. He hears a noise. Another man appears and obliterates the man into a fine mist of pink goo.

Hello, Steve.

Cas is a Gas ‘n Sip attendant named Steve now. He’s wearing an adorable purple striped shirt and monitoring the locals on how to be human. He almost succeeds. #givesteveahighfive2k13 The newspaper man might not see how special and cool Steve is, but Nora, Steve’s boss, does. She’s late but knows that Steve is an overachieving gas station attendant. She wonders out loud, “Where have you been all my life?” And so begins the double story told this episode. Is he really a super attractive, responsible man this single mom has been waiting for or is he a super attractive, responsible employee this gas station manager has been looking for her whole life? “You’re not like the other sales associates. There’s something different about you.” He’s either gay or a former angel, amirite? Cas insists that he’s a completely regular human.

Cas then looks at the day’s newspaper: another unexplained disappearance.

Another reason I love this episode is because everyone is in it! At the bunker, Kevin lets Sam and Dean know that he just translated the angel tablet into doodles Elamite. The language is dead though. They need someone to translate it. Sam jumps right to research! SWOON. Dean is literally saved by the bell when his phone rings. It’s Cas.

He’s got a case, but he’s busy dealing with “The Big O Slush”. I SEE YOU SET DESIGN. Dean asks Cas how they want to do this, and Cas spills his slurpee everywhere.

Then he hangs up on Dean.

Dean takes off with barely a goodbye to Kevin and Sam. He doesn’t like research anyway.

Back in Rexford, Cas is busy trying to fix his halo. BRB, weeping.

Nora confronts him with a toothbrush and sleeping bag in the back of the store. Yeah, Steve pretends that he’s not living at the Gas ‘n Sip and tells Nora he’s been staying to work on inventory. MY HEART. “I wanted to be thorough with inventory, so I worked late last week, and taking a nap here was easier than going back home to my bed. Which I-I have, of course – a bed...and a home.” MY HEART.

File in Pain Library:

And now a story told two ways.

First time viewer Boris:

Nora asks Steve out on a date.

Subsequent viewer Boris:

I’m a monster to think she was asking her very responsible (but attractive!) subordinate employee out on a date. She’s asking this nice, responsible, gay man she trusts implicitly to babysit her child so she can go on a date!

Nora, dense humans and former angels do not understand subtle human conversation. (God, I’ve never identified more with Cas than when watching this scene.) Spell. It. Out. For. Him. Poor Cas doesn’t get it, and just wants to be human SO bad. He takes it as an invite for a date and accepts. Yay! Honest to God, before this moment, I very much doubt Cas has even thought about Nora as someone to have romantic feelings for.

Dean, meanwhile, shows up at the cold open crime scene. The sheriff shows him around the pink goo, all the while mentioning the other victims and how sad they all were.

He then checks in with Sam and Kevin, ALL THE WHILE STARING AT CAS WORKING AT THE GAS ‘N SIP. Like, holy hell, dude. I know you have a lot of angst for kicking him out of your home because you have a lot of angst for allowing an angel to possess your brother, but take it down a notch (please don’t). Dean suggests they ask Crowley (currently chained up in their dungeon) to help with the translations. Dean tells Sam about the case and Sam wonders if he should be there. Dean stutters his way through a shut down.

Cue Dean’s Theme Music, all weepy and melodic.

That boy is pining something bad. (Yeah, sorry, I just can’t read this episode any other way. Dean misses Cas, and Cas misses Dean. And Cas is pissed that Dean kicked him out of the bunker, but is so happy to see Dean, but so sad about being human. And there’s angst and a case to solve and fan fic gaps and trope after trope of goodness. SIGH.)

Cut to a very upset girl talking to her friend on her cell. Her boyfriend just broke up with her in front of everyone. She’s upset enough to admit to her friend, hyperbolically, “I could just die.” The man from the cold open appears and says, “I can help with that.” And turns her into a spray of pink goo.

At the Gas ‘n Sip, Steve is hard at work.

Dean arrives, asking for “some beef jerky and a pack of menthols.” (Is this canon that Dean smokes? Ugh. I hope he’s just being a doofus here.) Dean over compensates for his dickish move of kicking Cas out of the bunker (by being more of a dick and insulting Cas’s chosen career.). Cas acts like a jilted lover. Cas tells Dean, “When I fell to earth, I didn't just lose my powers. I – I had nothing.” CRYING NOISE. Ya know, even without his powers, he had a home, and family and then he was kicked out of that as well. Now he’s making his way on his own. He’s SO proud of himself.

At the bunker, Sam asks Crowley for a translation. He refuses. Sam accuses Abaddon of being scarier than Crowley, so Crowley crumples up a piece of paper to show Sam who’s really boss. Lol.

Dean continues to push Cas to help him on the hunt.

Cas is having none of it. He’s got to stock the shelves, and clean up the mess a patron left in the bathroom (blarf, just bail Cas, it’s not worth it.) (Sidenote: Cas mentioning how he failed at being an angel, ugh. I’m so glad for his self-worth arc in season 13.)

Nora’s interruption about the bathroom cleanup is so interesting. She confirms their “date” in front of Dean, but she doesn’t even ask who he is and why he’s been hanging out with Steve this whole time. Second viewing Boris’s MIND IS BLOWN. She doesn’t need an introduction because she (thinks she) knows exactly who he is. She confirms the evening’s plans because there’s nothing to hide when just confirming her babysitter for the night.

Dean shows his jealousy over Cas’s “date”, but he gets a call that there’s been another death. Cas reluctantly agrees to come along, but not before cleaning the bathroom. Lol.

At the scene of the crime, a very professionally dressed FBI and Steve the Gas ‘n Sip attendant arrive to investigate. While Cas looks on in shock and horror, Dean interviews the girl’s friend on the other end of the phone. “'Kind of bummed'?” “Like more bummed than when she got a "C" on a quiz, and... less bummed than when her parents split up. 'Kind of ... bummed.'” Lolol. Dean then looks for Cas and can’t find him. ALERT THE POLICE. Oh, he was just leaning against the Impala.

For Science:

Cas knows exactly what happened here.

For Science:

It seems that this is the work of the Rit Zien, a special angel that killed other angels past saving in Heaven. That’s their job. Seek out the pain filled angels and kill them. Only now on Earth, they can’t distinguish between real pain and normal human emotions.

Sidenote, I just paused my video and thought you would also like the view:

Dean insists they have to stop the rogue angel. Cas doesn’t think he’ll be any help. Dean doesn’t agree but accepts Cas’s wish to not get involved. He tells him to go on the date with Nora. But first, Cas needs a ride.

*Fan Fiction Gap #1*

While Cas is off living his normal life YAAAS QUEEN LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE, Sam confronts Crowley. Crowley offers to translate the Elamite as long as he gets a phone call. Kevin tries to convince Sam that this is a no good, very bad idea but they move forward anyway. Honestly, if Kevin were in charge this would be a much more boring show – but also with at least a couple fewer apocalypses.

Back with the Dean & Cas romcom, Dean drops Cas off at his date, then notices his unfortunate attire. (Somehow it's dark now? Did they go get some food?) He convinces Cas to take off his Gas 'n' Sip best and undo a button on his collar. (Boris: Tony Manero. Lol. No words. Just links. I mean, John Badham started directing Supernatural in season 9. Pfft. And “I can’t let you do this.” Really Dean? And that once over? Really Dean?) This is all fine and I'm not reading into this AT ALL.

Dean gives Cas his fifty cent guide to wooing women and sends him off on his date. All squealing innuendo aside, this is an incredibly sweet and sad moment. Dean has a tendency to try to save people from the hunting life. Sending Cas off on his date is more than just bro-bonding. It's Dean's way of protecting human Castiel. May he live far from the wars of Heaven, in the company of someone normal. (Boris: He wants Cas to succeed and be happy in the world--it’s just sad that he doesn’t recognize that Cas is happiest around him.)

Cas, that Casanova, snips a rose and waves Dean away so he can make his move. (Boris: Does Dean really watch his Disney Princess friend prick his finger on a rose thorn?) Unfortunately, once Cas gets inside he finds out that he's been asked over to babysit while his boss heads out on a date. Cas sulkily buttons up his collar again.

Crowley meets with Sam and Kevin, and demands Kevin's blood in exchange for the information. He then proceeds to have an embarrassingly bureaucratic exchange with Hell's switchboard as he waits to be connected with Abaddon.

Meanwhile, Castiel's surprise babysitting gig is going super awesome. And by “super awesome” I mean terrible because baby Tanya starts to cry uncontrollably. Cas picks her up and snuggles her as he sings Joey Scarbury's “Believe it or not” - the theme song for the The Greatest American Hero. (Boris: Ah, at some point during his many channel surfing moments Cas stumbled upon --or Dean showed him--The Greatest American Hero, and I kind of want to curl up into a ball for Cas right now. He’s thinking about that magical suit, about how it could make him fly again and give him his super strength back.) Reader, you may be pleased to know that while Cas can do many things, he cannot sing. It does briefly assuage baby Tanya and he tries to set her down. Tanya's not having any of that shit and starts crying immediately.

Dean gets a call from the Sheriff on one of the crime scenes. It turns out the wife died, but the husband is still out running around somewhere.

Cas has a heart to heart with Tanya. “Nobody told you. Nobody explained. You're just shoved out kicking and screaming into this human without any idea why any of it feels the way it feels. Or why this confusion which feels like it's a hair's breadth from terror or pain. You know, just when you think you do understand it'll turn out that you're wrong. You didn't understand anything at all.” Cas notices that Tanya's a bit feverish.

At the police station, Dean goes over the missing man's case file and finds a picture of the annoying truck which tried to park him in outside of Cas's babysitting gig. He races off.

Cas opens the door to bring feverish Tanya to the hospital and sees the missing man. It's Ephram, an angel. Ephram tells Cas that he's come to wash the planet clean of suffering and he's at baby Tanya's house to...take care of Cas. Oh, Cas! (Boris: Cas is suffering as a human so much that the Rit Zien wants to kill him. Don’t touch me.)

In the comic relief portion of the episode, Crowley's still on hold with Hell (and Sam is getting antsy). Abaddon finally connects to Crowley, blood bubbling on the tabletop.

At the house, Cas grabs the rose from his failed wooing attempt and bloodies up his palm while Ephram monologues about how Castiel's pain allowed him to find him. “Earth can be a hard place but these humans, they can do better. They're just doing the best they can.” Ephram is entirely unimpressed by this argument. He used to admire Cas but now Cas is playing such a small game as to be essentially unnoticed on the scale of Heaven. While Ephram smugly talks about Cas, Castiel tries to draw an angel banishing sigil on the double doors. Ephram catches him and breaks his wrist.

Abaddon tells Crowley she's taking souls early, destroying Crowley's contracts. Crowley's getting pissed. He chews her out about her method of controlling Hell and she tells him that she's dismantling everything. When the phone call ends, Crowley demands the translations. “I keep my agreements,” he says, still nettled by Abaddon's destruction of his carefully crafted soul agreements. He reads it and finds that the spell Metatron did was irreversible. Angels running around Earth is the new world order.

Ephram asks Cas if he intends to live as an angel or a man? Speaking of men, Dean barrels into the house, angel blade at the ready, only to get chucked across the room.

Ephram starts to super zap Castiel when Dean slides his angel blade over to Cas, who kills Ephram with one quick strike.

Later, Cas leaves Nora’s house (with everything put to rights, body disposed of, and Tylenol administered for Tanya's fever) and Nora tells him that, the part of him “that cares so much. That's what makes [him] special.” TRUTH. (Boris: Nora’s continued appreciation of Steve warms me to no end.)

Sam's cleaning up from the phone call when he notices that a syringe is missing. He walks in to find Crowley injecting himself with human blood...

The next morning (cough fan fiction gap cough) Dean drops Cas off at the Gas 'n Sip. He apologies for telling Cas to leave, but that he's proud of what Cas has done with his life.

Cas worries, thinking he should help the angels. “You're human now. It's not your problem anymore.” (Boris: Dean’s speech at the end of this episode is kind of like the first part in a trilogy. He continues it in 11x23, and well, the final part has yet to be seen. He’s proud of Cas. He’s family. He’s like a brother. He means more to Dean that he’s able to voice. I hate you show.)

Cas heads inside to open up the store, turning to a news story that talks about the massive meteor fall – a.k.a. the angels falling. He stares outside contemplatively.

What are quotes? Baby don’t quote me, don’t quote me no more:

Oh, well, hello to you too, Cas.

You're not like the other sales associates.

We're not keeping him chained up for the one liners.

This is Cas, in case you forgot, he’s not exactly Chatty Cathy.

You’re special.

Good day, ma’am, and good luck!

Wow. So you went from fighting … heavenly battles to nuking taquitos?

You’re the best.

And you’re a hunter in training, remember?

But as what, Castiel? As an angel? or a man?

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #spn rewatch #spn 9x06 #heaven can't wait #dean winchester #castiel #cas #sam winchester #kevin tran #crowley #abaddon #supernatural season 9

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eledritch · 6 years

Note

So reading all of you amazing works as well as following the content of other lovely Sheith shippers has inspired to finally write some fan fiction and contribute too! It’s been literal years since I’ve written anything though, and of course the story that got me really excited is going to have to be a multi chapter monster. As the master of long and complex fanfics, any advice for beginners?

Good!! I believe in you.

Sure, why the heck not :’) been awhile since I made a big writing tips post and I feel like I have some new things to offer since the last one. I don’t know if your fic is gonna be an AU or canon-compliant, but since my specialty is long and complex multichapter AUs, this is mainly gonna be about that.

First, you can check out my ‘writing tips’ tag for my own tips and tips from others on tumblr: http://saltyshiro.tumblr.com/tagged/writing-tips

The most important advice I can give to you as a writer is to READ. I don’t read nearly as much as I used to, but I still try to when I can. Reading was what gave me the inspiration and knowledge I needed for worldbuilding, which is a vital part of not just AUs, but any long and complex fic. You need to be confident about writing the world you’ve stuck your characters in. You have to know that world better than anyone.

More often than not, books aimed at children actually have better worldbuilding than books for adults. There are exceptions to this (a lot of sci-fi, like Dune & The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, for example, as well as dystopian fiction like The Handmaid’s Tale), but some of my favorite worlds remain those from children’s books. They include:

The Ever After in the May Bird & the Ever After series

The absurdist and time-period defiant world where anything goes (as long as it’s unfortunate) of A Series of Unfortunate Events

The Other World in Coraline & London Below Gaiman’s adult fantasy novel Neverwhere

The world populated by various small animals like mice, rats, and squirrels in Redwall by Brian Jacques

The medieval kingdoms of Goose Girl by Shannon Hale

The eerie surrealist circus world of The Palace of Laughter by Jon Berkeley

I’m also currently working my way through the Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson, which is some INCREDIBLE worldbuilding in a high fantasy setting.

So what do all of these have in common? Well, contrary to popular belief, I don’t think you have to go Full Tolkien and write a brand new language as well as six thousand maps for your world. Nope. None of that is required. All that is required is that you LOVE the world you created. Love the heck out of it. Even if it’s a shitty world. Doesn’t matter. It’s YOUR shitty world.

The more you love this world of yours, the more you’re gonna want to write about it, and the more reluctant you will be to let yourself drop the project. The pitfall many fanfic writers (and writers in general) fall into when writing long works is that they get burnt out and tired of their own story. You can’t get tired of your story if you keep adding to the world and finding new things to love and explore within it.

Worldbuilding reflects onto your characters, too - people are in many ways a product of their surroundings, after all. If your world is shitty, then your characters might end up a little shitty, too. But - and here’s the clever thing about this - because you love your world so much, and because your characters are an integral part of that world (they should be, if they’re your protagonist/villain/etc), you end up loving your characters, too. It feels like a betrayal if you stop writing their stories, and the world you’ve created should at this point feel almost like a real place, albeit within your head and your imagination. And when that happens, writing about your world and characters doesn’t feel like a chore or an obligation anymore. It feels like an adventure.

That being said, human brains have limits and it shouldn’t ALL exist in your head. You gotta take notes, do some doodles and simple maps if you’re into that, and also use resources made specifically to organize worldbuilding. I tend to just use good ol’ fashioned pencil and paper, but I’ve heard this tool is pretty good for digital organization:

https://www.notebook.ai/

Additionally, don’t be afraid to uh....“borrow” from other worlds that have been made before. The sooner you understand that everyone kinda steals (respectfully) from everyone (i.e. the lion king is hamlet; romeo and juliet is heavily inspired by the greek myth of pyramus and thisbe), the better off you’re gonna be in worldbuilding. You can, and unavoidably will, use worlds you’ve read about and/or experienced in the past in your own worldbuilding. It becomes a patchwork of your own, and once you have a base for your world, it becomes increasingly easy to add onto it and expand with more original ideas.

It can also be helpful to do a ton of research. Say you want your world to somewhat resemble Victorian England. How are you gonna know what that was like? Watch movies set in Victorian England to understand the aesthetic and speech. Watch documentaries to get a more factual basis. Read books set in Victorian England for the language and the societal ideas. Go on a Wikipedia or Google deep dive - almost always, you will end up in a much more interesting place than you expected. Listening to music can also be super helpful to get into a particular tone you want to see in your world, or can help you find the tone if you’re not sure what you want yet. I have playlists for most of my stories.

And, finally, understand that there’s always room for growth. I know my worldbuilding can be better than it is, so with every new story, I strive to make a more vibrant, vivid, lovable world than before. And guess what? Usually, not only does it work, but I also enjoy myself while writing more.

The key to long and complex fics is genuinely enjoying what you’re writing. You may be able to bullshit and slog your way through a shorter fic, but not a 200k monster. Another important key - know where your story is going to end up.

You need a goal to work towards. Maybe it’s a scene you’ve been wanting to write since you came up with the story. It doesn’t have to be the ending, but it helps if it is. You should know the ending by at least the middle of the story. I’m pretty sure I’ve written stories where that wasn’t the case and I was just flying by the seat of my pants, seeing where my world and characters took me next...which is a valid way to approach writing, but riskier, and ultimately rather frustrating when writing fics since you can’t exactly go back and insert foreshadowing for the ending you didn’t know was coming, lol.

I find late-night brainstorms best for figuring out how I want to end stories. I’ll open up a word doc, think for a good while, and then just start typing. Type it out stream of consciousness style. It doesn’t need to be a good explanation of the events, it just has to be an explanation. (This is also helpful in long stories for writing down reoccuring elements you don’t want to forget, such as slang, societal titles, a promise a character made to another than they really need to bring up again sometime...)

For example, here is my stream of consciousness brain-spew for my fic Seal It With A Kiss (this did not all end up happening quite like this, but here it is, warning for nsfw mentions lmao):

Witch Classes: Apprentice, novice, journeyman, master/magus, archmagus

The Wastes – western desert wasteland, Keith is from Blackwater, three days’ ride from the Citadel. It’s bordered by the River Acheron to the west, on the other side of which are the lands where Keith’s father lived with his first wife. The ocean is to the north, with the island of Cobao directly south of the Citadel.

The Citadel – centrally located, perched among Asphodel Peaks, near the lowland Oscuran Woods. Capital, Altea City, is three days’ ride to the east. Shiro’s grandparents live to the south on the shores of Lake Lucanus, a major fishing outpost bordered by the Dalterion Swamplands to the south.

THE VOID: mysterious dimension (or entity?) accidentally opened by witches eons ago (oops), which created Hell and unleashed demons/monsters/old gods (Voidborn). It is made up of what witches call infernal magic – a powerful and supposedly corrupted/corrupting form of quintessence. The Void is largely unknown and inaccessible to humans. Few return, and those who do are always changed by it.

HELL: Thought to be a reflection of the Void on a more physical/less abstract plane. Hell is made up of many pocket realms, including Daibazaal (one of the largest, ruled by the Galra), and Stratonikeia (ruled by Hecate). It is populated by Voidborn, who carve out sections of it for themselves in warlord-esque fashion.

Neither Hell nor the Void are inherently “evil,” though most witches consider them so, and they are dangerous. While the most well-established Voidborn rule with law and order, many other parts are lawless chaos centered around power struggles, and all Voidborn are morally gray to an extent.

VOIDBORN: Despite their vast differences, all Voidborn derive power from human souls & quintessence. Often generalized as demons, Voidborn are secular beings with no “holy” counterpart (i.e. angels), however, they come in many forms:

SPECTERS: generally the weakest Voidborn, they lack corporeal form and often “haunt” areas with histories of death, grief, and bloodshed, frightening humans and feeding off of their fear.

MONSTERS: a large and varied group of Voidborn, not as intelligent nor powerful as demons. They are the mostly likely to directly attack/kill/eat humans and are often hunted, with trophies of their heads displayed outside remote villages to ward off other monsters.

OLD GODS: a more rare group which often overlaps with greater demons; old gods can be benevolent if appeased (i.e. through ritual sacrifice, favors, offerings, worship, etc). They define territories for themselves and over time can become deified by local peoples, since old gods have been known to protect their lands and the people within them in exchange for worship.

LESSER DEMONS: more intelligent than monsters but less powerful than greater demons and old gods, they often rely on contracts and trickery to get their way. They are known to be petty, cruel, and ugly.

GREATER DEMONS: highly intelligent and powerful, they are dangerous beings who chiefly use contracts, torture, manipulation, and possession to take power from souls, which they crave more than any other Voidborn.

*Haggar has been cloaking Keith from Krolia so she cannot find her son since Keith went to the Citadel*

Shiro was captured by Haggar, who experimented on him (gave him the arm, which is powered by infernal energy/Void quintessence and began to corrupt his soul/erode it) and used him as a gladiator, until she managed to capture and slay Kurobasanir, whose quintessence she combined with the remnants of Shiro’s soul. His soulless, empty body was left to fight in the arena as a kind of robotic killing machine, while Shiro’s self became entangled with Kurobasanir. Because Kurobasanir was dead but Shiro was alive and so determined to stay alive, Shiro’s soul (primed with the Void energy which allowed him to stand up against Kuro) took control, though he gained Kurobasanir’s memories, abilities, and personality, while losing/forgetting his own. However as time passes with Keith, Shiro’s subconscious (ironically the only part of him which is still conscious/knows who he is) begins to break through, making him more ‘human’ as he starts to remember who he is/have doubts that he is really Kurobasanir.

He is unable to shift into any other human but Shiro, falls in love with Keith (demons are supposedly incapable of love), experiences sudden surges of emotion/nostalgia and feels protective towards Shiro’s family/horse/possessions/etc, is mostly unaffected by spells that should exorcise or defeat demons, and acts differently than the original Kurobasanir according to the late incubus’s friends. Because Kurobasanir was a sadist, but Shiro is not, so when he fucks Keith in front of the other demons, they know something’s up because he’s not hurting Keith at all.

What he doesn’t remember/know, though, is that this whole thing is a trap set by Haggar in order to lure Keith, who is a cambion (half demon, half human) to her so she can experiment on him in her quest to gain immortality so she can stay with Zarkon forever without surrendering her soul/turn her own soul into a demon’s essence. Because cambion, once mature, are effectively immortal and have a soul, while still retaining dormant Void magic within them which allows for their immortality and more demonic qualities. They are also extremely rare, and Haggar only knows of Keith because Hekate (Krolia) was her mentor and mentioned him.

So when Keith and Shiro go to find Shiro at the Samhain Tourney, Keith sees Shiro’s soulless body fighting and goes to break him out of his cell in the intermission; Shiro, not recognizing him/caring about him/trained to kill on sight tries to kill him, Keith is horrified and unable to bring himself to hurt Shiro, so he is saved by Kurobasanir, who realizes the situation fully once he comes face to face with the body that was once his, realizing his (Shiro’s) soul has been transferred into the incubus’s.

Before he can tell Keith this, though, Keith is captured by Haggar (who he recognizes as Honerva) and the two are separated. Keith cries alone in his cell, thinking Shiro is gone for good and also thinking Kurobasanir betrayed him and/or will be killed or tortured, leaving him utterly alone again. Lots of time passes and Keith realizes Haggar is trying to break the bond between him and Kurobasanir, because they’re both trapped and the contract must be sealed via sex. So Keith is in agony (and very very horny) because he can’t touch Shiro, and the contract is on the verge of breaking (and causing a great deal of pain and harm to both of them, since it was broken against their will) when Hekate/Krolia shows up, kicks BUTT, and bc she’s Mom of the Year, rescues Keith and brings him to Shiro while explaining on the way what happened. She also mentions that Keith’s father left because he was fulfilling the contract Hekate had with him, which was that because he was infertile she would bear him a “human” son (Keith), who would be blessed by her and live a happy/prosperous life, but in exchange Keith’s dad would only get sixteen years with his son, and then Hecate would take his soul.

As it turns out, though, Hekate/Krolia grew pretty darn fond of Keith’s dad (he’s a human teddy bear hedge mage unfazed by demons, what’s not to love), so he’s just chilling in Hell with her and had planned to come back and tell Keith the whole story, but when he returned Keith had gone off to the Citadel & Haggar was hiding Keith from Hecate.

So Keith and Shiro reunite and they’re so desperate for each other that they basically end up fucking while escaping (Keith is VERY EMBARRASSED but Krolia is like boi I am the mistress of dark magic, I don’t care, get that demon dick, proud of u son. Plus Shiro does his best to hide Things), cue a very wild scene in which both Keith and Shiro are kicking ass while fucking, since Shiro has regained his powers and Keith is Restored By The Power of Shiro’s Dick. Amen. Hallelujah.

Thankfully they finish up by the time they find the Holts, who were being forced to do alchemy stuff in Haggar’s lab. Haggar’s druids attack them, but Keith, who has read up on Honerva’s magic/theories, and Krolia, who mentored Honerva and is now pissed at her bc she tried to use Krolia’s son for her experiments, defeat the druids and are about to destroy Haggar’s research. Then Haggar bursts in, and in a desperate attempt to save her life’s work tells Keith that she can separate Shiro’s soul from Kurobasanir if he spares her/her work. Shiro is actually the one who hesitates, since he thinks Keith deserves much better than him and should have him fully human, as he appeared in their future together. But Keith has made up his mind – he loves Shiro in any and every form, and he’s done with Haggar’s shit. Furious at the thought of what she did to Shiro and planned to do to him, Keith’s magic creates a massive explosion which destroys the lab as Krolia uses one of Haggar’s traveling crystals to take them all away from Daibazaal.

Krolia takes them to her realm of Stratonikeia, a much more chill part of Hell. Because it’s Samhain and everyone is partying, Hecate’s palace is hectic and full of drunk demons and debauchery bc demons just wanna have fun, okay? Krolia makes sure the Holts are given safe accomodations so they can rest up and receive treatment before returning home. Meanwhile, Keith and Shiro are very shaken and Keith is weak from using so much magic to destroy Haggar and her lab. He and Shiro manage to escape the party and get to a balcony or something, where Shiro tearfully apologizes for everything, saying he understands if Keith wants to break ties after their contract is over, and that he wishes it didn’t have to end like this. Keith is quiet, then tells him that nothing is ending, pointing out that apparently he’s also immortal, and that technically Shiro gets his immortal soul in return for completing the contract. Shiro misunderstands, panicking and assuring Keith he will not take his soul and will leave him alone, but Keith cups his face and says he wants Shiro to have him forever, because he loves him, and never stopped loving him. Disbelieving but hopeful, Shiro embraces him gently, and when they kiss Keith begins to show his demonic characteristics (little horns, glowing eyes, tail, reddish scales).

Epilogue – Keith and Shiro get married. In Hell. It’s beautiful. They also have the most romantic, tender, kinky demon/cambion sex ever. They’re in love and together forever :’))

I hope that helps, dear!! Best of luck in your writing endeavors.

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