I would Like one suitcase to Sydney please! Been dying to go to Australia
What can you expect when you get a big and heavy suitcase from Sydney with a Bondi Beach sticker? Something as clichéd as a wetsuit? Congratulations, here's your wetsuit. You can use it in the heart of the Midwest just as much as a surfboard. Well, you can give it a try.
Okay, it fits. It doesn't fit well, but it fits. And it so mercilessly traces every last bit of flab you've got. You look like a homemade blood sausage. And taking it off causes you physical pain. You feel like you're pulling out half the hair on your back.
Okay, it was a bad idea with the suitcase. But in the slightly too tight board shorts and with the leather strap with the shark's tooth around your neck, you can at least jerk off to your Australian fantasies. And afterwards you fall into a comatose sleep.
Root, the sound of the bloody surf wakes ya up. The waves ahah really comin' in todee. The bloody mawrnin' beach run 'n fitness trayynin' av ta be cancelled. If ya want ta catch some waves befawah yah job at the bloody beach shack, ya av ta hurry. Yah smooth, tanned body slides into yah wetsuit liyyke a 'and into a perfectly fittin' glove. Ya know how fahkin' hot yah ass looks in that wetsuit. The bloody thought gives ya a 'ahrd-on agayyn. Bro, since ya dropped out of college ta follow yah passion, ya've been permanently 'awrny. But it would be liyyke hell if ya didn't find someone ta help ya afder surfin' on the bloody beach. Fahkin' bloody oath cobber.
dave and dirk DO socialize but not without their socializing buddy.
dave is playign volleyball and avoiding being convinced to try surfboarding even though it does sound fun. his toes will not touch water. fuck off
he is still a threat to the food supply.
if someone starts a fire he is going to go nonverbal and poke it until he passes out from a full belly
karkat has brought a homemade sauce which is basically a nice smoky brown sugar bbq but with added mustard and a Lot of sweet vidalia onion (carmelized/pureed obv)
dirk brought a jug of tea but you would have to ask him very nicely to share
he bumps around between volleyball, swimming, surfing, socializing but if hes not within 10 feet of john he takes psychic damage
both dave and dirk get overwhelmed easily (dave moreso) and will regularly trail off / exit conversations to decompress
dirk is probably going to gather materials for / build an army of sand unicorns on the beach once its dark
So I didn’t go to the DMV this morning. I went to bed at 10:30 last night just so I could wake up naturally at 6 am...and still roll over because holy fuck I have no control. When I’m awake I’m happy to be awake by my god a body at rest loves to stay at fucking rest. Was I bear in a past life?
A manic depressive bear?
Anyways, once I journeyed out of the cave my day became more impressive. I threw on a navy sports bra, light blue leggings, and my old running shoes because I am sick of breaking in the new cool ones. That is until I saw a sliver of my little socked toe wiggling back at me.
Okay. Might be time to throw them away and commit to the new shitty ones. Anyways, I took my (too) old shoes on a new path by heading to the bay today instead of my usual beach trek. I felt moody and girlie so was listening to Lorde’s “Solar Power” and Taylor Swift’s “Folklore” albums. My sights today included: boats, a telephone pole graffitied “Fuck Capitalism”, met a sheepdog named Alvin whose owner’s name I have since forgotten, and an old fashioned turquoise car with a surfboard on top- straight out of ‘60′s San Diego.
Upon returning home, I put the cow leather chair that I’ve had forever in to the garage and texted (low key pleading) with Hannah to move Lumos’s destroyed cat tower AKA the first thing anyone sees when they walk in our home. She thinks I should buy something to replace it, but if she thinks I’m spending a cent on more furniture for that cat to piss on she’s smoking actual crack.
I channeled my cat-shaped rage in to making a very ambitious smoothie and applying to jobs (getting some responses thank god) for about an hour. Texted Kendall and Kelly about Kelly’s wheel exploding on the freeway, Maddy about her finally opening a bottle of wine we ordered in Seattle 2 years ago, and Eric about how lackluster relationships aren’t worth it.
My goal for cleaning today was just to organize my night stand, but looking at the dust behind it spiraled in to me vacuuming, power-disinfecting and reorganizing the entire corner of the room including the bookshelf. Then I spent 90 minuets cooking homemade Kung Pow Chicken (New Skill: used cornstarch). Washed all the dishes and swapped out the recycling. Today’s podcast was three episodes of Radio Rental, and then the new Ted Lasso.
Finally at 8, I spent a solid 45 minutes doing yoga, (shoulder and arm flexibility, head to knee pose improving, happy baby pose is embarrassing). Today’s meditation was on being real. Yeah, okay. How’s this for real: “I’m not sure I’m getting any better at this.”
Whew. Definitely a self-improvement day...minus the DMV.
Along with the 90′s book, I’m also reading Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari. Last night the chapter I was on discussed how the key reason Sapiens came to dominate earth and kill off other species of humans was due to our ability to agree on concepts that didn’t exist (gods, trade, LLCs). Shared meanings, myths, stories. It’s what makes us powerful, persuasive, and innovative.
In a way, I had to imagine I’d improve before I ever did. Will these moments, these tiny accomplishments, in to existence, in to behavior, in to part of the narrative I’m creating for myself.
I’m someone who cooks, reads, journals, writes comedy, does yoga, meditates, cleans, works on themself in therapy, gets outside and runs, has good relationships with friends and family, politically aware and open minded, loves music, dresses well, and keeps their room beautiful.
Also my hair, tits and ass are pretty fucking phenomenal. Oh, and I wear sunscreen! Fuck me that’s not nothing.
I’ll get my license renewed sooner or later. Today I feel like pretty identifiable.
Aloha Yogurt, 219 E Baseline Rd #5, Tempe, AZ 85283
Fro-yo girl here. Other than seeing friends and family, the main reason I wanted to go to Arizona was to try Aloha Yogurt. I’ve been following Aloha Yogurt for many years. They were named one of the best froyo shops in the US by the International Frozen Yogurt last year, the only froyo shop in Arizona on the list. Aloha Yogurt was founded in 2010 by an Arizona State University alum. They make some of their own froyo flavors, as well as froyo tacos, froyo sandwiches with homemade cookie dough, Dole Whip floats, and drinks (smoothies, milkshakes, cold brew). Dogs can indulge in dog-urt and hang out on the dog-friendly patio.
Originally a self-serve shop, they switched to counter-serve/contactless in 2020, due to the COVID-19 pandemic and they haven’t switched back to self-serve. Customers are allowed in the lobby though. There are 12 froyo flavors a day, including no sugar added and dairy-free options. The machines aren’t visible but they said they were going to remodel and make the machines visible again (but not self-serve).
Froyo flavors of the day:
Plain tart: Standard plain tart on the icy side, looser, moderate tang. I prefer Yogurtland’s plain tart and Pinkberry’s original tart.
Pomegranate tart
Ghirardelli chocolate
Country vanilla
Thin mints (Girl Scout): Creamy, smooth, mild mint flavor, chocolate flavor wasn’t too strong either, pleasant
Samoas (Girl Scout)
Guinness stout: They made it with real Guinness that’s been cooked down till it’s non-alcoholic. I’m not sure what Guinness tastes like but it seemed like a mildly bitter flavor.
Irish cream: Another house flavor
Dole pineapple (dairy-free)
Fudgsicle (dairy-free)
Salted caramel (NSA)
Strawberry (NSA): Okay, seemed standard, creamy
They were happy to provide samples. The cup sizes are named after the Hawaiian islands, with Kauai (6 oz, $4.15) the smallest, Oahu ($6.50), Maui ($9.10), and Big Island $11.70. Toppings are $0.60 a scoop and they’ll even offer half scoops if you want more than one topping per scoop. For toppings they had fresh fruit, nuts, cereal, coconut, candies, cookies, housemade cookie dough, chocolate chips, popping boba, gummies, and lots of sauces (e.g., local honey, Nutella, whipped cream, condensed milk, etc.).
The shop had a relaxing vibe and Hawaiian surf theme. The wall of froyo machines had a bright Hawaiian floral mural. There was a bike and surfboard on the wall. The service was cheerful, enthusiastic, and patient. There are touches throughout the clean shop that show that it’s owned and managed by people with a passion for froyo.
Mr. Froyo even enjoyed their cold brew coffee. He was skeptical but persuaded by the free sample. The manager spoke with great enthusiasm about their cold brew which they make there with a local roaster’s coffee beans. The beans are steeped in chilled water for 18 hours and then double filtered.
While the froyo wasn’t among the best I ever had, I do think it’s probably the best independent froyo shop in Arizona. Four stars for the froyo, plus an extra half star for exceptional service. Aloha Yogurt is located in a strip mall with easy parking.
A dirt road lead us to this tiny oasis, hermit crabs and tide pools galore, consisting of a handful of restaurants, many of which were only open 2-3 days a week, a tiny tienda for groceries where the neighbor lady sold homemade banana bread for $1.50, a produce truck that drove around at unpredictable times with unpredictable produce, and a tent on the beach to rent surfboards from.
Lilo Pelekai is based on Lilo from Lilo & Stitch. She is a 20 year old human, barista, and uses she/her pronouns. She has no powers. Lilo is portrayed by Auli’i Cravalho and she is taken.
CATCHING MY DEATH, AND I COULDN’T BE SURE
Lilo was not like other kids. She was an old soul who preferred records and polaroids to anything digital... before it was cool! With her homemade dolls, her conspiracy theories, her Elvis obsession and her interest in voodoo, she stuck out like a sore thumb. And she was fine with that; she would never try to fit into anyone else’s box. But sometimes it got lonely. Especially after losing her parents at a young age. She was bullied at school only to come home to an empty house with her sister constantly working to keep them afloat. Not to mention the fear of being ripped away from home anytime a social worker came knocking, which wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. If she could make just one friend, she thought, maybe things would be different. Maybe life would be a little easier.
When Nani took her to the animal shelter to pick out a dog so she’d have company, it was no surprise Lilo of all kids would choose the strangest one. The surprise was that he wasn’t a dog at all. It didn’t take long for Stitch to show his true form, but after the initial shock, Lilo didn’t care that he was an alien. He was her best friend, and she was glad that he could talk to her, albeit in broken English for the first few years. Time went on and she missed her parents more and more, and continued to struggle to find herself. Even after turning eighteen, the fear of being separated from everything she’d ever known anytime she had one bad day just lingered, and it sort of became reality when she woke up alone in Evermore. Fortunately she found after a quick panic that her family was right around the corner... but there was no ocean. The people are nice and the scenery is pretty, but Lilo just wants to go back home where her parents and her surfboard are.
I HAD A FEELING SO PECULIAR
❀ Rina Snow: Rina is a sweetheart, and she isn’t mean to her like most girls she has met her age. She makes the best snow cones, and Lilo has tried to convince her to open a stand. She’d be her #1 customer!
❀ Mason ‘Dipper’ Pines: He’s kind of... weird. Not that she’s judging him. She actually thinks that maybe they could be friends, but she doesn’t like the way he stares at Stitch. It’s like he knows.
❀ Anastasia Tremaine: She can’t stand her. Lilo tries her best not to dislike people, but she reminds her of Mertle, someone that is cruel to other people because they’re not the same as them, and that is just not a good look.
The week between Christmas and New years always seems to be a bit of a blur, days mix into each other, all part of the endless summer period in New Zealand. Every day the weather has been good, we have been blessed with sunshine, blue skies, flat water and a good rotation of friends stopping in to say hi. The beer fridge is constantly restocked, the supply dwindling almost as fast as it can be refilled. The dishwasher is constantly on due to the varying number of people that we have at our lunches and dinners.
Our days are simple. We wake up, check the water to see if it is flat enough to have a ski, if not we have a walk or run with Sparrow, then a big breakfast of fresh fruit and homemade treats. Our mornings are full of simple pleasures, lounging on the deck, bird watching, reading our books, drawing, baking carrot cakes, just taking life at an easier pace. We then break for lunch, another big affair, with plenty of people, the big Christmas ham which is slowly being carved down to the bone. Generally, we make do with what we have, and share it between how ever many mouths seem to be milling around our bach for the day. The biggest number we have had is 14 people, but it is generally 8 or 10 of us, so still a decent amount for our small family. After lunch, the dishwasher gets restacked, and turned on again before we go back to our afternoon’s activities, either water sports, or reading. Then dinner, a game of some sort (much to my chagrin), then bed with our books, repeat. Benoit and I have tried to stay active as much as we can, we go for swims out to the 200m buoy, as well as swimming out there, we take Jamie’s surfboard out to train our shoulders for when we eventually get to the beach and go surfing. We have been foraging for native trees as we slowly build up our collection of seedlings, and although I am not sure if they will grow or not, we are both enjoying the process of finding trees that we like and planting the seedlings/cuttings. We have even taken the kitesurf out once, although the wind wasn’t really good enough, we were both super keen to give it a try. Benoit had enough wind to go down wind, but not enough to go upwind. After I sat on the jetty with the binoculars trying to find him, my neighbour kindly offered to take me out on the boat for a rescue mission. Eventually we scouted him out walking home, apparently he managed to land in a near by bay, fold up the kite and decided to walk back, we picked him up and headed home. Much to my relief.
I know that New Years is generally a time for reflection, and resolutions, but honestly, after last night, my brain can only really cope with recounting what we did and I am doing my best to not repeat myself and use a few different words out of my vocabulary. So last night. Ouch, it hurts my head just thinking about it to be honest, but at the same time it was wonderful. Mum and Dad headed over to their good friend’s house for dinner and left Gran and Deeda, Jo and Nico (my aunt and uncle), Jamie and Holly and myself and Benoit at home for the evening. The eight of us headed over to our neighbour’s house for dinner. Each year one of our neighbours puts on a big pig on the spit for the New Year’s Eve dinner, all we have to do is confirm our attendance, and they put on the food. It is a nice way to be a bit social with the Tarawera community as well as have a good dinner before the night of drinking commences. Dinner was lovely, the roasted pig was delicious, and they made enough to feed an army. Afterwards we headed back to our lawn for the New Year count down. We all set ourselves up on the lawn to enjoy the last of the sunshine before we headed back up onto the deck as the winds picked up and it was significantly colder than normal. It was a chilly night so before long we were all covered in blankets and waiting for the New Year to hurry up and arrive. The fireworks, thankfully, were early this year, because there are so many grandchildren, it was decided that the fireworks this year would go off at 9.15pm. Amazingly, as the fireworks were about to go off, the wind died off and we were mesmerised by the beautiful display. Honestly it is a sight to behold. For 30 minutes we had our eyes to the sky as it erupted above us. It is a pretty incredibly display and I am so pleased that I finally got to share it with Benoit. The display is a commercial one, so very impressive, you feel that reverberations right into your soul of the big fireworks shake the deck as they shoot up into the air, it really is a full body experience. The vibrations you feel in your chest as they explode. The smell of explosives. The explosion of colour in the eyes. There is something significant of the New Year fireworks at the lake and it was nice to be able to see them again. This way of bringing in the New Year has been a tradition for me ever since I was young and it was good to do it again and even better, to be able to share it with Benoit. After the early fireworks, Gran and Deeda went to bed. Mum and Dad came home from their friend’s house and we all stayed up together. We got the music going and all danced on the deck. After counting down into the New Year, we all hugged and had bubbles before going for a midnight swim. A good way to refresh and hopefully wash off a bit of the hangover awaiting us in a few hours’ time.
It has been a big year for us, full of adventures, changes, and projects, and 2023 is bound to be more of the same. Not surprisingly for those who know me, but we have a list, full of exciting goals that we have for our year ahead, and although we won’t be able to share them in person with you, I do hope to be able to share our progress with you through our blogs. All our love, Kate and Bog xxx
Their profession: Professional racing driver, Aeon Racing F1 Team
Where they can be found: On the race track (but that is a guaranteed way to Not date him because he strictly doesn't date fans), out on a run or bike ride at whatever city he's traveled to, at the beach if the weather is warm enough and he can hire a surfboard, riding out somewhere remote on his motorbike
Favourite food type: Nutella and banana crepes are his signature favourite food, but also he loves trying out the local delicacies whenever he's out of town
Favourite alcoholic drink: He isn't picky, and will drink whatever is available to him (provided he doesn't have to race or train the next night, which is rare lmao). Champagne is strictly a podium-only drink for him though
Favourite trait: People who are very down-to-earth. He has a very busy and hectic lifestyle, so having someone he can relax with is a big deal for him. He'd prefer someone with as little to do with racing / celebrity culture as possible, so he can have a big split between his work life and home life. They'd also have to not mind the fact he doesn't spend a lot of time at home, unless they'd want to go traveling with him and his team
Where they would go on a date: He only knows how to be extravagant, because that's the lifestyle he's grown up with. He'd take you out to a high-class restaurant, go on a walk with you around his hometown (Alternian equivalent to Monaco), and end the night with drinks on his private yacht. This is considered a normal date to him
Ideal gift: He doesn't care for material gifts that much since he's filthy rich and could easily buy whatever he wanted, so he's easily won over by more humble gifts. Homemade baked goods are a definite winner (as is any home-cooked food in general), but he'd also really appreciate anything handmade with him / his interests in mind