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millerklint73 · 9 months

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Emoji Reactions Have Been A Cute Addition To Facebook They Grew To Become A Headache

It has described them as "an extension of the Like button, to offer you extra ways to share your reaction to a post in a quick and simple way." Facebook's users have lengthy begged for a method to interact with an unpleasant post or photograph. They've asked for a Dislike button, to be particular, as a end result of it would be useful in situations where the Like button might be inappropriate. A researcher hypothesized that, in different words, Facebook could trigger relationships to turn into nearer. We Use All Token after 1 minutes Interval For Send Reactions so Facebook by no means detect uncommon Reactions activity and not Lock Your Facebook Account, If you're using multiple website of auto liker on the identical time then not our duty. If you do not have or it's expired, then generate new access token by clicking "Get Access Token" below. In different words, individuals want to see the posts that'll make them angry, identical to they wish to see the posts that'll make them pleased. You would possibly even say the first demographic consists of angry customers with a mouse. All the opposite interplay was made by way of Like button, shares, and comments. Well, we wanted to emphasize how much the situation has modified with time. Since that long-gone 2016., Facebook reactions have not solely stayed on the platform. The emojis took on renewed significance two years later when Facebook announced a new rating system to determine which posts folks saw and in which order. The deliberations were revealed in disclosures made to the Securities and Exchange Commission and offered to Congress in redacted kind by the authorized counsel of whistleblower Frances Haugen. The redacted versions have been reviewed by a consortium of stories organizations, including The Washington Post. Facebook then unveiled new Reactions that categorical completely different feelings. With these emoji, particularly the angry and sad faces, users will have the power to show negative feelings without being mean or bullying. Facebook stated they would be out there to most Facebook customers in Spain and Ireland by the end of October and should expand to all 1.5 billion by the tip of 2015. facebook wow emoji The firm made this modification to its algorithm giving emoji reactions 5 instances the weight of likes in 2017, The Washington Post reported, citing firm documents. The concept was to spice up content material that sparked engagement and interaction from users, but "Facebook's personal researchers were quick to suspect a crucial flaw," the Post writes. The plan was to give emoji reactions corresponding to “love” and “angry” 5 times the weight of a conventional “like” in Facebook’s secret method, in accordance with an inside firm doc. That would make content that elicited these reactions much more common within the information feeds of Facebook’s gigantic consumer base. Now that we now have a better understanding of how the new reactions feature works, let's discuss what it means for entrepreneurs. You can click on on the variety of reactions to see all reactions and the variety of each reaction per post, however the first three reactions are the ones that'll show up to users first, unless they click into the reactions on the post. The new reaction buttons are already out there to everybody -- no have to enable their functionality. The second part shows a portion of a Zoom assembly display, with one Zoom field, labeled “Chris (they/them).” There’s an illustration of myself in the box towards a green background. I’m saying “As a staff, we’ve determined not to invite negotiation. If you want some inspiration, learn our weblog post in regards to the Top 10 options for inducing creativity on social media. Always ensure to encourage your social media followers via the post copy. Include a voting post in your month-to-month social media content schedule the place customers can vote by utilizing the Facebook reactions. The more your customers get accustomed to using reactions on your posts, the extra visibility your content will get sooner or later. According to inner docs, the technique might have backfired. “The warning is certainly about imposing judgement on completely different emotions’ values,” the second researcher wrote. Add Changing America to your Facebook or Twitter feed to remain on prime of the information. Additionally, you probably can browse for different cliparts from associated tags on subjects angry, angry emoji, emoji, facebook. Available FlyClipart's on-line clip art editor before downloading. This is going to turn out to be extremely important for manufacturers as cellular becomes a bigger deal. Users who may not have needed to use their phones to comment can now use them to “react” a lot simpler.

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goodmanpitts12 · 9 months

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Premium Vector Linkedin Reactions Image Icons Like Love Pondering Clapping For Social Media Notification Icons

Don’t put your images in the /public listing and hotlink them, unless you might have a powerful cause to take action (Hadar, 2021). In this quick tutorial, I will walk you thru a number of the greatest methods you possibly can compress pictures for Reactjs for large performance wins. "One structural shift is lowering the reliance on China, Russia, and other non-aligned international locations by the developed economies," NDR mentioned, noting that Powell may also tie in comments about a shifting global financial system. "All of those feed into a better intermediate to longer-term outlook for inflation, and whether the 2 p.c inflation target is appropriate for developed economies." They need that extra one thing to stand out and get learn. I additionally like using emojis to attract consideration to these all-important contact particulars. You actually don’t want to miss out on a sale because a potential client can’t discover your e mail or phone quantity. To be sincere, big blocks of textual content can put readers to sleep. But a strategically positioned emoji can wake up a reader and spotlight your personality. I am unsure emojis would have a great impression on the business I focus on, but I thought the article was attention-grabbing and informative. These folks and their coverage preferences are what the GOP now and what the GOP post-Trump should acknowledge and what many within the moderate wing of the get together refuse to acknowledge. When movements lose their avatar and don’t have gatekeepers, they get corrupted – it’s an inevitability. In the soon-to-come post-Trump era, we are going to see an influx of individuals looking for to claim the MAGA throne; there's energy and influence to be gained, and different people will undoubtedly want it. A current Times/Sienna poll indicated that the GOP just isn't a cohesive ideological unit. Prigozhin seems to have been killed when his airplane crashed on its approach to St. Petersburg on Wednesday, exactly two months after a short-lived mutiny in opposition to the Russian defense ministry. put a heart on facebook You can group your results by writer type, pack, or see all out there icons on your display screen. You can only save three new edited icons per collection as a free consumer. Therefore I say go for it, we reside in a digital world 💻 of emoji’s on our cell phones 📱 and Emoji’s have become part of the norm, specifically in texts. These days, I get responses with no words, simply an Emoji 👌🏻 and the message is still perfectly clear. Reactions are beginning to roll out now and shall be out there globally to all members in the coming months within the LinkedIn cellular app and on the web. LinkedIn’s rollout comes within the wake of comparable moves on other social platforms — perhaps most noticeably on Facebook, which launched an expanded set of reaction buttons more than three years ago. I may go on, but whether or not speaking professionally or privately, including emojis is not only commonplace, it’s enhancing a message with an expressive tone. Maybe as a end result of it could make issues look less critical, and you’d be right. You can use Celebrate to reward an accomplishment or milestone like landing a new job or speaking at an event, or Love to express deep resonance and help, like a conversation about work life balance or the influence of mentorship. Insightful may help you acknowledge a fantastic point or fascinating idea, whereas Curious allows you to show your desire to be taught extra or react to a thought-provoking matter. As a poster, these new reactions might help you higher perceive the influence your posts are having. As increasingly of us use fashionable telephones and gadgets that mechanically update, emojis tend to seem as meant. There is a weppy converter software known as cwebp that I downloaded and installed into my laptop, however I was too lazy to compress them in CLI. So I used an internet converter to transform my existing PNG files to webp. Webp (weppy) is a model new quick image format developed by Google.

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pearsonsander20 · 9 months

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How To Add A Different Reaction To A Facebook Post Like A Heart Or Emoji

According to one of the paperwork, users’ degree of activity on Facebook was unaffected. But repeatedly, Facebook made changes to weightings after that they had caused hurt. Facebook needed to encourage customers to stream reside video, which it favored over picture and text posts, so its weight could go as high as 600 instances. YouTube is hiring for dozens of US jobs, including one position that pays as a lot as $425,000. We analyzed job listings to figure out how much the corporate pays engineers, product managers, analysts, and more. If you are feeling the same means, then let your voices be heard! You can give Facebook feedback about a suggested function by going to Facebook’s Help Center. Using this reaction implies that you take care of some person. This reaction could be accomplished on the information of someone getting infected with the virus, information of somebody being unwell, and whatnot. We believe that this reaction is more of a everlasting one because a care reaction is sensible. In April 2019, Facebook put in place a mechanism to “demote” content that was receiving disproportionately angry reactions, though the paperwork don’t make clear how or where that was used, or what its results have been. At one level, CEO Mark Zuckerberg even inspired users in a public reply to a user’s comment to make use of the angry reaction to signal they disliked one thing, although that might make Facebook show comparable content more usually. If Facebook’s algorithms thought a post was dangerous, Facebook may cut its rating in half, pushing most of cases of the post method down in users’ feeds. facebook big emoticons “The voice of caution received out by not trying to inform apart different reaction sorts and hence different feelings,” a staffer later wrote. An Irish Times columnist called Tears of Joy “more beastly than some other [emoji]” and a “sobbing cretin popular with right-wing bullies and people with no imagination”. The drawback at hand is greater than we expect, and there could be no immediate resolution to this. After all, you can not tell individuals what they can find humorous, and what they can't. It is way easier to only tap on an emoji than to attempt to learn more in regards to the scenario at hand, or put up a logical debate. They have been additionally retroactive, when you used a wow emoji a week ago to react to your friend’s horny outfit, it became a ghost emoji! Facebook additionally launched Halloween-themed filters for its reside videos. Love, anger, sadness, and shock are stronger emotions than plain interest. Plus, responding with a reaction takes more effort than just tapping the like button, right? That said, does it mean when you put an angry reaction on a post about prostitution, you will note much less of the topic in other posts? As she noticed it, Tears of Joy had turn into a weapon of the best in the tradition wars. Such actions carry on into the comment sections of these posts, where you will find extra folks passing inappropriate comments. These comments too, obtain plenty of validation from like-minded individuals through their reactions, and thus, the saga continues. Originally Facebook solely allowed you to add 'Reactions' to posts but in March it brought the feature to Facebook Messenger, and now you can add little happy or furious faces to comments that people have posted too. However, you have to bear in mind, since all Facebook Page posts are public, your Facebook reactions tally just isn't private data. Everyone can see the breakdown of Facebook reactions on your Facebook Fan Page, including your brand’s opponents, people who find themselves not admins, and people who are not fans of your Facebook web page. And, it actually works each ways, too, you can go to other Facebook Fan Pages and see the breakdown of reactions on their posts, as well. That score is in flip used to sort the posts, deciding which ones seem on the top and which seem up to now down that you’ll probably by no means see them. That single all-encompassing scoring system is used to categorize and sort vast swaths of human interplay in practically every country of the world and in additional than 100 languages. The enjoyable and spooky Facebook reactions appeared on all posts, each public and personal.

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chuneal47 · 9 months

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You Can't Use Reactions Right Now! Here Is The Fix

While security for all users has always been a priority on Facebook, it’s been a major concern for users beneath the age of 18. All you need to do is choose your corporation sort and the tool will provide campaign concepts, useful industry insights, and ideas for how to succeed. They even have holiday- and seasonal-specific content that will help you additional. Working from residence has its execs and cons, and more staff than ever discovered this out firsthand last year. Facebook has developed a brand new feature for Oculus users to offer a new type of solution. Of course, not everybody thinks the identical, and not everyone needs to. A post that looks like a "Love" react to you will look like a "Wow" to others. There are people who will idiot round with you, largely pals, by hitting a Haha react on that profile image of yours. All this is fine when it's only a few people who are doing so, or part of harmless enjoyable within a circle. We've obtained the best ways to calculate and increase your brand’s Instagram engagement price. how to make heart emoticon on facebook Online content has had a huge push for inclusivity and accessibility in recent years, and it’s nice to see this now crossing over into Facebook’s stay stream. Facebook does want users to be protected, knowing that if they’re not, the platform might be in hassle. You can customise the look of your digital storefront, for instance, with customizable fonts and coloring, and customers can convert and checkout with out ever having to leave the app. (If anybody follows the gaming world, games like PubG are soon dropping Mixer as a streaming platform and starting up on Facebook, for what it’s worth). Local businesses in a group, for example, might compile a list of “great occasions around Texas” that promotes an event at every enterprise, and influencers and creators can promote every other’s content material. Facebook says they’ll be investing over $1 billion USD to assist Black and diverse communities and suppliers inside the US. The instruments are designed to help entrepreneurs attain new levels of optimization, personalization, and efficiency, and enhance the promoting expertise for both brands and promoting audiences. Since their introduction in 2020, Instagram Reels have boomed in recognition and turn out to be an incredibly useful software for manufacturers. Hootsuite’s experiment confirmed that using Reels can increase an account’s overall engagement and follower depend. Users with entry to the feature will be succesful of pin posts to the highest of their profile, making their favorite or hottest posts instantly seen to new followers. Keep a watch out for this change in future months, and start recalibrating to account for the new dimensions together with your photos and movies. Consider getting a store of instructional infographics ready— the new format will likely be notably helpful for them. In no time, our tales got picked up by the likes of Forbes, Foxnews, Gizmodo, TechCrunch, Engadget, The Verge, Macrumors, and many others. Facebook reactions are completely different animated emoticons which would possibly be used to specific completely different feelings concerning a post. But this figure can be solely available primarily based in your usage, i.e. to say this determine also varies, to the utmost at 5000 reactions per day. Because of its sheer dimension and large consumer base, Facebook is vulnerable to a number of accessibility, privateness, and safety points. One of essentially the most well-known points is the lack to use Reactions on Facebook posts out of your connections. On that note, let’s check out the numerous causes for this issue and afterward discuss the methods to fix them too.

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freeworldallahexecutivembaclass · 16 days

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Another monument for me this time in my hometown Harlem New York City for finding the cure for HIV/AIDS that is what the statue symbolizing me finding the cure for HIV / AIDS and funny stuff it is on 135th street across from the Percy Sutton school and I laugh at the 32nd precinct now I found the cure for HIV / AIDS and I sponsor it get Cabenuva it will help you go undetected for HIV eliminating the chance of ot developing into Aids the miracle has finally reached the general public and I sponsor it so forget the noise and take your medicine as prescribed so you grow up healthy and strong success is the best revenge guaranteed you heard it from me Cabenuva is that cure and I sponsor it thank you I'm honored for the privilege to help , thanks .

Thank you so much . I love you according to Christianity you are forgiven and according to Joel Osteen I can't compromise with that , no thank you I forgive you .

Thank you I'm honored . Wherever their is people starving and dying from hunger and HIV AIDS use my page to help that country whether it's India , Brazil and not talked about regions and areas in poor neighborhoods in places like Africa and raise the salary for people in Dhaka give them water pumps and more on their paychecks so they can afford to take care of their families thank you it has been great helping the people goodbye and good luck to you and your family .

Eat good , be content with the little bit that you do have like good friends and put God first and everything else that you want and better yet need will be added to you , and read these books from my personal coach , trainer and mother Joyce Meyer and new Minister and teacher of New York City my mom and your mother Joyce Meyer . I'm just happy that all my friends are successful in life and prospering in their career and have blessed families even though the puppet masters had me on the computer trying to hate on them on facebook and this social media tumblr page for years typing on the computer trying to hate on them but they are good and doing great in life and now my conscious is clear and it is not as expensive pain for me no more as long as they good great music great wives and kids and longevity in their career I decided to go back to them as their friend and stay with my friends and keep that circle of friends that I grew up with and keep the hope for myself because I still believe in love for myself like that Vado and Mary J Blige song beautiful Mary J Blige , I got the fame I wanted and the mother play I wanted sponsored by the 2nd stage theater I got what I wanted basically now I'm at peace with myself now and is being educated by my ministers and pastors and my second call to do something I love , music and stay with God first place in my life .

youtube

The greatest donation I can give to anybody , I give you a dollar to get your life together and in some places it can pay your bail and God will take that hold off of your life and free your head from the birds I mean the vultures and stop Satan your enemy from stealing the word God's word from your heart and memory .

Congratulations to me for my gift 🎁 from the Brooklyn public library a book called the making of a king 👑 by Robert Hardman about me King Charles the third and the modern monarchy and them crowning Nicki Minaj and Cardi B real Queens of the world officially like official Queens of the world now that is hot thank you both sponsor me and my practical basic education and it is good since I'm a private person and shy away from the crowd both women is people that the public the hood like more than me and love so they could be friends with them they are like my protectors what I mean is like I give you somebody you could be friends with if you don't like me a lot of people don't a d aren't going to like you can't like the person helping that is how it is that is always how it is with leaders and since people see me as the geek type quiet reserved guy my female friends women friends are more cool and outgoing and love to meet people and chill with the common people and party with them while I stay to myself , thank you it has been an honor helping with this page I hope this help find you in good health good luck and goodbye , thanks .

I woke up here and I inherited it the same place where I'm at its bad but it is mines I inherited it , thank you .

Yes I do stay in a not so clean and dangerous place well a dirty place if you call it that but if you know anything about me I actually own the neighborhoods I live in I own the hospital my own hospital given to me by a Governor it's my incubator , I own the parks in my neighborhood New York City parks now all of them now and where I live in where the girls don't get to come to see me here but I venture out to see them sometimes we are cool they call it a liability but I inherited these neighborhoods and New York City and a rough and dangerous place to live but it is okay and hopefully my goodness , hospitable charm and love for them warms them and help them like I said thank you I'm working on getting out of here so I will see you outside thank you .

I'm King 👑 the decree from the British Monarchy thank you that is huge thanks and own the 2nd stage theater is mines and no I don't mess with street people no more I did everything for them got them Citibikes computers on Rikers Island and legalized weed for them and I moved on from them and Governor Kathy Hochul told me to dump them slim down lose the weight from the overload of carrying my enemies and their girlfriends off of me and get my life together and I'm doing just that no thank you that should make us friends .

I'm going to end it on this note here Vado from Harlem a rap musician and Mary J Blige got a song called I still believe in love that is somebody from my neighborhood that made it a way for me to be able to get a future for myself financially through a regular paying job and getting myself together and I said thank you to him and Mary thanks now Im stepping off from them and wish them the best of luck in their career and goodbye to me from my old neighborhoods and people from my past so that I can get my life together anybody got any ideas on how a super hero can get a good paying job , see you on there side of success personal success thanks and goodbye it has been an honor helping the people .

#Youtube

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f10werfae · 1 year

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Can u write something abt frat!chris evans and reader getting into their first argument

Frat!Chris x GF!Reader

summary: Their first argument, which really isn’t an argument, but it’s the closest thing these lovebirds will ever get to it because they’re so damn in love and can’t stay mad at each other♥️😭

Chris Masterlist, full masterlist, taglist form

Chris smiled resting onto his back, his sweet girl just resting on his chest as she traced shapes on his body, her lips placing small wet kisses onto his face any chance she got. “You’re so cute bun, jus wanna take you home with me and marry ya already” Chris said as his smile grew, her hands cupping his face as she smothered his face in tiny pecks; the smell of raging sex filling the small dorm room.

Until their sweet talk turned into Y/n asking why the hell Chris knocked on her door at 2am 6 months ago, leading to their first of many meetings. Looking astonished she listened to her now long-term boyfriend’s explanation, a pang of jealousy in her heart. Even though the whole campus knew how serious Y/n and Chris were getting, facebook status serious. No one needed to see the hickies littering either of their necks to see that Chris was absolutely smitten, his parents’ facebook even gush about the girl as well.

“Come on baby, it isn’t that big of a deal” Chris cooed from the other side of the bed, a fuming half naked Y/n was busy picking up her lace bras from the ground. Her cute face furrowed despite knowing she was going to end up forgiving the big goof on her bed anyway, she always did.

“But you just told me that the only reason we actually ended up meeting was because you were waiting to sleep with some other bitch. Of course i’m pissed off” Y/n huffed crossing over her arms. Chris had made the mistake of telling her that the only reason he actually knocked on her door was because he got the wrong door number, man was trying to hook up with some chick named Stacy that his frat brothers had set him up with. Only when Y/n opened the door 6 months ago, Stacy had been forgotten and Y/n had a complete hold on his heart.

“Baby you don’t understand i’m saying i’m glad I knocked on your door, n’ believe me if I didn’t find you then, i’d be lookin for your sweet ass. Trust me” Chris smirked watching his girl try to hold back a small smile as she threw her undergarments back onto the floor and slowly slipped back in beside him.

“I love you and only you, gonna put a rock on that finger once we’re outta here you know this. I’m gonna buy us a big country house, lots of space for our future babies, you like that yeah?” Chris nodded watching Y/n nod along with him shyly, this was the first girl he had taken on so seriously and he knew she’d be the last. Because they’re for life baby.

“But once you graduate what if you find someone-“ Y/n whined plopping her head down onto his chest, his rough fingers combing through it gently as he laughed at her stupid ideas

“Sugar, do you not remember that I literally carry a pair of your thongs in my bookbag, your hair tie is on my wrist, I have a timer set to feed your pet fish, I’ve taken your younger sister to the county fair and i’ve already promised you a ring. Nothin is breakin this love, not even the thought of it”

Y/n satisfied with his answer smiled up at him longingly, even though she was a sophomore in college this was her first real relationship, same with Chris although he was a senior. Both loving for the first time, and it’s enough love to last a lifetime. “I love you so much” Y/n gleamed her fingers trailing down his happy trail on his stomach, his fingers softly caressing her stomach.

“Can’t beat how much my heart beats for you” Chris said cheesily, his other hand tilting up Y/n’s head for their lips to meet. Her small whimpers filling his mouth as his tongue coaxed hers out, both of them meeting for a sloppy sensual kiss that had them both left wanting more. “Go to sleep baby, you’ve got a 9am tomorrow” Chris whispered against her lips, his thumb brushing away the saliva that had collected onto her chin, her eyes sparkling with that same glow they always had.

“You’ll be here when I wake up right baby?” She asked wrapping her arms tightly around his torso, “I’m never letting you wake up alone again bub, if i’m ever not in bed with you it’s because i’m out buying your ass your favourite breakfast. I am sick of you going to class hungry, can’t let my best girl starve can I?”

“Okayy okayy i’ll sleep, don’t wanna hear anymore of your nagging” She groaned pressing one last kiss to his peck before settling deep into his side, his lips coming to her ear to whisper one last thing, “i’ll always choose you bunny, even if we never met, somehow i’d find you. I promise you that, my one n’ only precious woman”

Let’s just say Chris finished off his apology not only with a breakfast in bed the next day, but with a poem he wrote with the help of his frat brothers, declaring his love AGAIN for Y/n in front of the whole sleeping campus. God was he whipped, and has it bad.

———-

Taglist Tags (Form is up there^^): @patzammit @pandaxnienke @stormcloudss @vrittivsanghavi @dumb-fawkin-bitch @chrisevansdaughter @cevansgurl @marvelgurl @evanstanwhore @mirikusashes @taramaria @mysticfalls01 @hallecarey1 @misshale21 @mischiefsemimanaged @thereisa8ella @uwiuwi @bval-1 @angelmather1 @lastwandastan @diyabhanushali1 @emvebee @annajustwrites @ravenhood2792 @feltonswifesworld87 @roofwitty779 @fdl305 @bluebellsn @mdpplgtz03 @alexxavicry @bookfrog242 @alina02 @aerangi @s-void @oliviah-25 @nikkitc0703 @meetmeatyourworst @girl-of-multi-fandoms @imboredat2am @adoreyouusugar @stuckysgirl27 @wintasssoldier @mrspeacem1nusone @itsaylayay1213 @kimhtoo17 @bxdbxtxh15 @madebylilly @tojisbabymomma @chrisevansangel @tinyelfperson @mansaaay @ilovetaquitosmmmm @xoxokiaraaxoxo @royalwriteroftheuniverse @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @caps-shield1918

#romance #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans one shot #frat!chris

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irradiantflux · 1 month

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how do I stop thinking about the person who's broken my heart? I stare at his pictures and listen to old voicemails. I miss him so much. idk what to do anymore.

Well. There isn't any perfect solution to this problem. I have the same problem with my ex. I ended up taking away the option to contact him entirely. I deleted his number, all of his texts, emails, call logs. I put all of the photos into a .rar file with a password created by Google Authenticator. I deleted him from Facebook, changed my relationship status, deleted him from Discord, left the servers we were in together, changed my Discord settings so no one outside of my contact list can send messages to me. I wiped him completely from my life. The clothes I bought because he said I would be beautiful wearing them, I burned in a bonfire. Now there's no way to contact him at all. I never memorized his number or email address. Everything is gone.

That might be too extreme for you personally, but it really did help. I've always been a fan of the "Out of Sight; Out of Mind" approach. Otherwise, you run the risk of mourning forever and missing something good if it comes along. Like that meme, "Sometimes you have to throw the whole man away."

I hope this helps you. Good luck!

-M

#words #personal #love #lit #breakup #asks #questions #answers #sorrow #heartache #heartbreak #getting over him #moving on #thoughts #opinions #spilled thoughts #spilled words #spilled ink #no regrets

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into-september · 7 months

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MLB Paris special

I've been saying it before and I'm saying it even louder now: these writers are good at self-contained episodes, it's serialisation they can't handle. This is yet another testament to the fact that when they get the time to flesh out their ideas and dwell on their details, this universe is brilliant.

That said, this is by far the weakest of the specials yet, thanks mostly to the way it falls back on some of the mawkiest lines this show has produced. Where Shanghai and NYC had moments of Our Heroes in genuinely dire situations, this one was essentially your normal akuma battle with a few extra bells and whistles, which they resolve by giving their emo counterparts a pep talk about how they can totally be good people like them, just look on the bright side of life! The lucky charm blatantly frames this as some sort of facing-your-inner-demons tale, which would have worked if

a) these had been doubts Marinette and Adrien had faced this very episode, but last time Adrien had a thought about the fact that he recently lost his mum in canon timeline was "Felix", and Marinette's experience in being bitter and alone was, oh yeah, never.

b) we had a bit more background on emoverse ladynoir than their telling us the reason they're angry

In essence: this brings about zero epiphanies to our ladynoir like the NYC special did, and emoverse ladynoir don't have the on-screen backstories like Fei for their turn-around to be narratively satisfying. Marinette's speech at Emobug reads like an inspirational quote our aunts post on Facebook; harmless, and true in essence, but ooooh boy the that's easy for you to say.

It works simultaneously better and worse with Adrien-Emonoir, where Adrien's side is A+ character moment and Emonoir's is jazz_music_stops.jpg because this boy lived better circumstances than our Adrien, but became a trigger-happy supervillain? and here I thought losing a parent and being neglected by the other one wasn't a sympathetic explanation for why you'd turn to violence against the world around you

Where NYC and Shanghai had my heart, this one was just sparkly, but sparkly at least in a way it's been a while since this show has felt.

(I mean, there's the "Gabriel Agreste is a hero at his core and deserved the statue" propaganda and "why yes, their team-up in the end can be taken as foreshadowing of Marinette's decision to side with Gabriel in the S5 finale being framed as a good and kind thing for Adrien", but I'll refrain from going into that wank. We're all strong independent adults capable of grappling with the unfortunate implications of a work of fiction)

Have some bullet points:

I called them "bells and whistles" but emoverse ladynoir carries this special alone, and boy howdy do they CARRY it

Some really nifty scenes here, with particular kudos to the slo-mo akumatisation of Cat Noir

ouch but the parallel akumatisation of father and son from different universes was an unfortunate one (see: "Gabriel is a hero at core" propaganda)

speaking of: ~Cat Blanc trauma~ died with "Jubilation" and this is the funeral

So much lore being made up just to justify the plot beats of this special, gotta love it

Excuse me, I got brainworms from emoverse ladynoir being physically marked by the damaged caused by their misuse of their miraculous and the way this never is compared to Gabriel's shiny new handprint

Or at least named as the reason why they're so desperate and bitter, rather than the diet coke explanation we got

I can't believe what a bitter old crone I've become to roll my eyes when Ladybug has a moment of shoddily set up "oh no I can't do it" so that Cat Noir can put a hand on his shoulder and look her in the eye and say "I always believe in you, milady". To be fair I think this would've touched me if it hadn't been like a year and half since "Strike Back" aired

On the bright side, this one episode does Alya more justice than all the rest of S5 did

did emoverse!Chloé have Sabine deported?

I can't believe Claw Noir didn't at least get rid of the mullet

I can't believe that trailer showed us all we were getting of emoverse Alya and Nino. ROBBED.

The emotional aftermath of "Destruction" really was ADRIEN: Plagg, I think I killed a man and that makes me uncomfortable PLAGG: Okay, but please consider: cheese

Why, IN THE NAME OF THE LORD, was this scene of Gabriel almost going into Adrien's room after the cataclysm not in the show proper

Adrien was so excited to talk about Nino's favourite film. It is now canon that Adrien is that person who genuinely enjoys avant-garde cinema

Best part: emoverse ladynoir teaming up with Hawkmoth to form a visual kei Team Rocket, complete with sarcastic nicknames

Monarch, sorry (something something you're giving into his power by acknowledging his self-proclaimed change in name), but I dig that they kept up the continuity of the fashion disaster he was for these early S5 episodes

Worst part: Superfluous multiverse jumping fanservice. If you needed to pad for time, it should've been spent on emoverse ladynoir flashbacks

I can't wait for the S6 reveal that Chloé personally caused the climate crisis, founded daesh and killed Mother Teresa

#mira #blah #let's watch cartoons #ml paris special #mlb meta

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lunarkittenn · 1 year

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Im writing this for me. I need to write to let out how I feel. And I’m just really sad. My dad has ALS, he probably won’t even be here next year. There’s nothing I can do. It has sucked the life out of every inch of me, I’m so depressed my soul aches. Right before my dad’s symptoms hit a downhill, I had started talking to a boy I was really excited about. Had a big crush on him and was so thrilled he liked me, too. We started dating, and the first thing I noticed is that he was bad at communication. Arguing with him was tedious, almost impossible because he would get really mad and shut down. Never aggressive like my last boyfriend, but just so stubborn and defensive and rude. On my hardest days, he would take it very personally when I wasn’t super talkative or upbeat. My dad fell at the bowling alley one night and I was absolutely devastated. It’s traumatic to watch, that’s the only way to describe it. My boyfriend didn’t say a word to me, went home and still didn’t say a word to me. When I got upset about it he first said he didn’t want to intrude on my family, and then a little later into the argument said I wasn’t talking to him so what did I care. A couple weeks ago I saw on my dads online health account that it predicted 9 month survival at 80-90%. 9 months. 9 months with my dad. I can feel my fucking heart throb in my chest typing this right now. It’s the kind of fucking sobbing that rocks my whole body. So needless to say, I was pretty quiet that day. I’m having a hard time processing it. My boyfriend got upset with me because I was ��ignoring him” “didn’t talk to him all day” which I had been, I was just being quiet, and I even explained I was having a hard day. I mean he should know. He would stay over every weekend. He saw my dad. He could hear how hard it is for my dad to talk. After every fight, he would tell me he was sorry he always takes it to 100, and that he was happy I put up with him and try to work things out and don’t give up. This past week he made a comment that made me uncomfortable. I had pointed it out, he got really defensive. Told me I assume whatever I want, I read things wrong, take it how I want to no matter “what he says” etc. he says those things every fight to me. I tell him okay, we’re arguing, why don’t we talk later. I am not perfect, in the past I would tell him to just leave my house and I was done talking- so I wanted to work on this. I told him exactly “we are just arguing and it’s not productive. Why don’t we talk after you get out of work, okay? Later, just not right now”. He said “bye, dead serious”. I asked what he meant, but he never texted back after work. I noticed he removed our Facebook relationship status. I was very upset and texted him saying I was done with the bullshit. For the next two days, it felt insane because the fight had branched so much I felt weird even trying to say why I was originally upset. Everything I said he told me I’m going to think whatever I want anyway. I wake up at 6:30 am to go to my dads ALS appointment on Wednesday. doctor tells us my dads breathing intake is at 48%. Not good, obviously. My boyfriend? Texts me a paragraph of rude things, including that I’m controlling because I wanted him to “say sorry in a specific way”. He was referring to me saying, all I was trying to do was say “hey I know you didn’t mean this in a bad way and didn’t know. But this made me uncomfortable” and all I expected was a “hey I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that” if that’s what he meant. Instead he told me I read it wrong. That I take things the wrong way and think so low of him. Bad day. I have a lot of those lately.

Yesterday morning I woke up to him really angry that I removed him from Snapchat and Facebook- but he had ??? Removed our status? He kept saying rude shit and not trying to actually talk with me. He said I must be ready to move on nice and quick if I removed him so fast. I pointed out he removed our status and he said “I just did that to make you mad”. Lol. After more hours of arguing- literally. I finally said “you’d think if you wanted to fix this like you say you do you’d call me or actually answer when I call you instead of texting. We can apologize and move on” he tells me he’s “good on all that. You said what you wanted to say and I’m not cool with it. You never wanted to be with me anyway” which the last part he would always say to me in fights and I do not know why. But yeah anyway I said okay whatever have a good one. We haven’t talked since then. Maybe he met some girl and that’s why he doesn’t care? Maybe his ego and immaturity just really will never let him see how fucking horrid he was treating me. Idk. But it hurts.

Out of all the things, I am just disappointed. I’m disappointed in how many failed relationships. I’m tired of putting myself out there for people, constantly trying to mold into a better person just people to not do the same for me. I’m tired of selfishness. I’m tired of life, honestly. I don’t want my dad to die. He won’t be at my wedding if I have one. He won’t meet kids if I have any. He won’t be here, waiting for a big hug. He can’t make witty jokes. He won’t be able to bowl with my brother, mom, and I. He won’t be here to ask me for double cheeseburgers. He won’t be here to give me a big hug and tell me he loves me. My heart is so broken. I feel so so so broken.

And the boyfriend who I was so excited for, couldn’t take two seconds to realize how much I was going through, and try to be easy with me. To try and improve how he acted. To try and care about me like he so claimed. Or maybe to just not do things purposely to make me angry, knowing how much I rightfully am angry about already.

Hug your loved ones. And if you think your life is fucking miserable, for me try and take a breath, and count the things you are happy for. I used to think life was miserable, now my favorite person on this planet is sick with someone that kills you quickly, traumatically, and with no remorse. And god, is that a pain I have never felt so deeply, and widespread.

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this-is-golddust159 · 6 months

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He texted me this weekend.

The last time he texted me was October 4th, which was also the last time I saw him. He’s sent the occasional facebook or instagram message since then, but no actual texts. That of course made me assume he was trying to hide contacting me.

And then he texted me at 2:48 AM on Sunday with a BS picture from work and all it said was “buuuuusy night”.

I ignored it until today because I didn’t know what to do with it. I was equal parts annoyed he reached out, especially considering the time he sent the text, and terrified of what would happen if I did reply. I was also confused because he recently updated his facebook relationship status to “in a relationship”, so why would he need or want to reach out to me?

I finally ended up sending back something like “hope it ended up going by quickly”. To his credit (which he doesn’t deserve) he then asked how I’ve been, to which I responded with a vague “good but busy”. In hindsight, I should have never replied because it seemed like that was the opening he was hoping for. He then started telling me about all the pets he now has, giving me names. I recognized all but one of the names, so I asked for clarification action on that one. Big. Mistake. This was the interaction:

The only way I could interpret that response was that he’s living with her. The girl he ended our exclusivity for because he just had to be able to see (*cough* sleep with *cough*) her. For the entire YEAR we were seeing each other, he kept telling me he’d never live with someone again after his ex. And then he just casually drops that he’s living with her.

And then he had the audacity to send a little sad face at my generic response?!? Exactly what did you expect me to say? “Awww congrats!” I don’t think so.

I shouldn’t have been surprised, really. But the whole thing felt like yet another reminder that I didn’t mean anything to him. Alongside the whole “not wanting to live with someone else thing, he kept saying he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship after his ex. Clearly he just meant a relationship with me. Mostly, I’m annoyed with myself for still hoping that he’d prove not to be a complete piece of shit, and would realize he missed me in his life and would try to win me back. I know that’s my emotional damage from childhood talking, but it doesn’t make the hope or hurt any less real. Naive, sure, but still real.

Perhaps even more than that, though, I’m sad for her. He was still sleeping with me until 2 months ago. So at best, they’ve been exclusive for 2 months. And really, before that his focus was split. And if he’s still concerned enough about me to try contacting me, how serious is he about her? He’s also someone who uses people… I should know, he did it to me some. But I know she co-signed on the apartment he ultimately got evicted from recently, which is how they came to live together. After that, I’m honestly baffled she was still willing to help him. But she is only 25 to his 33, so maybe she’s just more easily manipulated than someone closer to his age.

I was so damn close to being over him and everything he put me through, and then today happened. And now I feel like I’ve moved backwards about 12 steps. All I know is that I need to move on now. I need to block him everywhere, and quit letting him occupy space in my mind and heart. I deserve someone who wants me - 100% all in. Not someone who wants to toy with me just to keep me on the hook.

#just me screaming into the void about my stupid life.#feel free to ignore

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martsonmars · 1 year

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I just saw a music tag game that I'm adapting for your (and my) entertainment: (old timer voice) Back in my day (/end old timer voice) we used to have these tag games on Facebook where you'd put your iPod on shuffle and use the song titles to answer a series of personal questions. No skipping!

So! Put your Spotify Liked list or your favorite playlist or whatever on shuffle and here we go: What is your gender? How do you feel? If you could go anywhere, where would it be? Describe your best friend: If your life was a tv show, what would it be called? Favorite time of day? What do you fear? Relationship status? What is life like to you?

ooooh yes i like this version of it because i wouldn't have been able to pick an artist 🤣 (but also, thanks @shrekgogurt for the tag!)

i put on shuffle my top songs 2022 playlist, let's see what happens.

what's your gender?

Jolene by Dolly Parton. Interesting choice. It feels gender enough, especially if I think of Lil Nas X's cover and, of course, McQueen McQueen.

how do you feel?

Zero to Hero from Hercules. Well. I'm pretty much still in the “zero” phase but maybe this means there's hope 😂 (also are the Muses horny for me???)

if you could go anywhere, where would it be?

Space Man by Sam Ryder. YES PLS. I want to see the universe!!!

describe your best friend:

Bulletproof Heart by My Chemical Romance. I don't know how much this song could actually describe my best friend, but she's the one who introduced me to this song and it was relevant in some important phases of our friendship, so it's pretty fitting.

if your life was a tv show, what would it be called?

you should see me in a crown by Billie Eilish. Um yes please I deserve a crown. Maybe I'll steal Lamb's.

favourite time of the day?

Volcano Man from the Eurovision movie. The first line contains the word “night” so this is pretty accurate again 😂

what do you fear?

SNAP by Rosa Linn. “It's 4am, I can't turn my head off // wishing these memories would fade, they never do”, “get out of my heart // cause I might snap”, “and if one more person says // You should get over it // I might stop talking to people before I snap”. Well. I guess it could make sense.

relationship status?

Dancing Queen by ABBA. No comment on this one.

what is life like to you?

The Passenger by Iggy Pop. Not a bad choice tbh.

~~~

well, i had fun with this!

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gemstarstarlight · 2 years

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Hi! *waves*

I go by Crystal! I will also accept Little Plant, as I am small and aromantic asexual (or aroace, to make it faster). I post about a lot of things, and it was getting unwieldy so I wanted to make a quick summary and tag list for ease of navigation!

I made this blog when I was first questioning my sexuality (again!) and wondering if I was asexual. So I post a lot of stuff about that. I tried to stay on theme at first but I like fandoms too much. I've been referred to as the Kpop Jesus mutual. Take with that what you will.

Fandom tags are rather obvious and change a lot (look at the tags at the bottom of this post for things I am currently interested). Personal tags are not. So here’s a quick explanation of all the tags:

#thanks! it’s the trauma: posts that contain any and all discussions of my trauma. Most if not all of my vent posts are tagged with this. Lots of family stuff and unhealthy dynamics, so if you wanna filter out a tag this is the one to do that with.

#mentality love: mostly traditional mental health stuff, but I also tag stuff that’s talking about how to grow your mentality, encouraging learning, or just in general things that help you live a better life.

#*checks for cameras*: reblogged stuff that is Extremely Real and feels like it’s taken directly out of my life.

#pretty pictures: art tag art tag art tag!

#philosophy takes: anything that’s about discussing life concepts, social issues, and how to think about things.

#reblog for posterity: posts that are Pure Gold and entirely too good not to reblog and thus Keep Alive.

#story time: posts I save to read to my grandmother about humans getting into Situations and Shenanigans.

#the sacred texts: posts that are old and gold, the history of Tumblr. I lurked here for 10 years before getting an account, so if I recognize any of the posts from when I was a youngling it goes here.

#current status: the equivalent of Facebook's "what's on your mind?".

#tales of the fellowship: anything related to my Christian fellowship group that I love with all my heart and soul. I do life with these people and it’s great. I also will occasionally tag #christianity content in general with this tag, particularly if it’s a way of thinking that comes up when I’m interacting with people.

#caaaaaaats: I have a son and I have loved him and his kind since before he was born, what do you want from me?

#musicians are just like that: musicians are really cool and talented and also some of the weirdest people on the planet (source: I have a B.A in music).

#americana wildlife: the weird/delightful parts of living in my very strange home country.

#mafia mutuals: a group of friends on Tumblr that just…do wild things together. Or say wild things. Most things under this tag won’t make sense. It’s usually Ink’s fault.

#crystal’s cold weather hate campaign: I hate cold weather. As I write this it is Late September and I expect this tag to collect more posts as the year goes on.

#snowboarding brother: I have two brothers: one of them is an adult who pays bills and likes to go snowboarding and get into Accidents and Shenanigans and Weird Shit. He's very nice, but is unfortunately a Man in his 20s.

#am i asexual?: most of the stuff tagged here is earlier when I first started my blog and was questioning and it’s not a huge tag, but I put it up here in case anyone who is also questioning if they’re ace wants to look through this tag and see how I was processing. Lots of my ace self-doubt and how I was thinking while I was figuring things out.

#allos are space orcs: just a bunch of amanormative/allonormative stuff that flummoxes me. I didn’t even notice half of this stuff until I was questioning and now it’s mostly just hilarious.

#tag game: I play lots of tag games with my friends! They’re very nice when it comes to learning random facts about each other. They’re also extreeeeemely long, as a heads up. This is also where I put polls and occasionally asks.

Anyway, hope this is helpful! Nice to meet you and welcome to my little internet home!

Love, Crystal

#I finally figured out how to link all of my personal tags in my post so here are my more changing tags #or just fandom tags #stray kids #dan and phil #ateez #heartstopper #dimension 20 #critical role #😂😂😂#adhd #lgbtqia #atla

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tammyfeabakker · 2 years

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I been on social media for several years... Every one knows I combat depression. It seems like a lot of people suffer from depression on here. Well might the reason and you don't even know it. To much social media makes you forget about yourself your problems. Your focused on everyone else but your self. It's an addiction. Jus like every other addiction nothing else matters. Tumblr has pissed me off more then I enjoy it anymore. One notification stated a blog I blogged from I had a crush fuck that shit. Promotes infidelity. Twisting people minds. I'm not filtering my ava. Protesting because I blog nudes ... Won't let me look up any sensitive blogs. I get messages from assholes really upset me. I see things on here upset me. What's down below is true. I'm not as depressed I'm getting shit done I'm up and out. I don't go on YouTube not nearly as much. I think YouTube is why our economy is out of control because people flaunt their social status. And I rarely see poor people putting out a channel or a short. I also gave it up. Because people are abusing animals to get money that really stirs me up. preying on your emotions. Fuck that. My mom always said the more you know the more depressed you are social media sky it the limit. I can't go any further. I'm 58 years old. Before social media I hit my knees twice in my life. during social media I hit them to many times and the black outs. Nothing like seeing a poor defenseless dog. Put in position where the YouTuber collects on it. I'm not in position to grab them by their knecks. Strangle them to death. Holding shit in because I can't physically do anything bout it. Brings on the black outs. I can't get it out. I can't even put me in my ava because married men hit on me. Oblivious Tumblr promotes this by using the word crush. Facebook I'm not on Facebook never will be. Because it promotes infidelity how many marriages went to shit because you all hooked back up with a past sweet heart. Living in the past reflecting on it. Wives being on it to much not paying attention to their husbands. Leads to wandering. Countless kids looking for their fathers jus to be blocked. Fuck that. When your a empath no matter how many pros your looking at the few cons. One channel I followed had one dislike thousands of likes. I basically let that one dislike get to me. What Tumblr did do for me. My intuition because of the silence in here my intuition is more sharp. I met people from all walks of life I met friends. But social media gets in the way.. the only way to combat my destruction. Is not feeding my depression and social media is a smorgasbord of ups n downs that I jus can't swallow. Is it a phase dunno. I jus can't support something that is I think is this worlds downfall... People living in a fantasy world ain't doing no good for the real world. Love yas but I'm out for now.

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bombdodger7 · 2 years

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What happened? Where the hell am I? This can't be the same reality or world that I was born into. Not the one where people mostly meant what they said, there was hope for the future of humanity and I could get a damn good quality burger for less than an hours wage!

We had our problems. I mean, we had some pretty bad ones. Racism, sexism, homophobia, violence, lack of mental health care, intolerance, dangerous and shoddy work out equipment and those God-awful parachute pants everyone had to sport around the arcade after MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice made them popular! Ok, those were pretty bad problems in any scenario, but we still have the same ones that are arguably worse in the modern era, plus a plethora of more new-age walls to bang our heads against. What can a fella or a lady do? Well, most have resorted to adhering to the status quo, not realizing that while they binged Netflix and gorged themselves on junk food, they were becoming sheep, and I'm not referring to the good, Jesus-y kind. They are all too ready to trade in the freedoms we once would have charged into battle for, for the security of having electricity and affordable insurance.

Im not a religious man by any stretch, but I do believe in God. I guess I qualify as being called a Christian, but I abhor the term because the image and thoughts that come to mind when the average person thinks of what a Christian is. The vast majority of so-called christians are the most judgemental, abrasive, hateful and non-tipping bunch to grace the seats of the local Shoneys Buffet come Sunday after mornings service. All that said, God must be putting his hand on his forehead wondering why the heck he promised not to flood the earth and kill every man down here again.

As a whole and as a species, we have taken our world and our values and handed them to the devil, and said " I'd like to buy more clout and more likes on my Facebook, Instagram, Tik-Tok and Twitter accounts please!".

I know, I know....how dare me say these things and judge people like this, right? I absolutely do not. Woe is you, yes, but WOEEEE is me! I am just as guilty of anything I talk about as the next guy. I don't want to condemn any person or highlight any sin above my own. I only want to share the solution and highlight some of the dangerous and secretive goings-on happening around us and orchestrated by shadowy figures and principalities that control is subconsciously and subliminally, so that we willingly conform to the plans they have for us and so that we don't raise too much of a fuss and cause attention to focus in they're direction.

In closing, I'll state the answer to all of mankind's problems, simple as it may sound, but oh-so-hard to implement into a stubborn society. Ready for it? Here it comes!!!.....LOVE! Yep, the one four letter word that probably isn't used as much as the other ones in that group. Love, yes love ladies and gentleman. Just love. When asked, Jesus chose love as the greatest two commandments, saying that he who loves the Lord God with all his heart, spirit and soul, and he who loves his neighbor as himself has fulfilled and kept the law.

Think about it for a second. Reflect on this. Love forgives. Love sees past color, creed, orientation, sex, beauty, wealth and diversity. Love causes enemies to become family. Love causes a mother to give her life for her children, love convinces a man to fight evil and protect his family. Love doesn't judge. Love wants the person doing the most wrong to someone, to be the one who gets the most understanding and reflection, so that they may see the problems that hate causes themselves, they're enemies and everyone else in the spiderweb like pattern of the lives of those involved.

Ever heard of breaking someone's heart in a good way? Let me explain. If a bone heals improperly, the physician must first re-break the bone to set it right for proper healing. The same goes with a hard heart or a confused or hurt person.

A bully isn't naturally a bully. He or she becomes that way or is made into such by different things such as past trauma, abuse, neglect or lack of proper nurturing. If someone loves without boundaries, even loving the bully who makes fun of them, there may not be an immediate effect, but after experience and understanding grows from that seed in the bully's heart later on down the road, it will break they're heart in two. Same goes for everything and any scenario.

If a good company loved everyone truly, could they knowingly include poisons in our food we consume daily? Could a politician lie to those he loves deeply? Could a judge sentence a black man to more time than his white counterpart for a crime based on circumstanial evidence? If everyone forgave everyone would wars even start? No.

And God never said your neighbor had to be a human either. Animals, plants, our planet as a whole. Those are all your neighbors. Jesus said "go and preach to every creature" when speaking to the apostles about the task laid out before them.

Just let that tidbit sit and sink in a little. Think about it honestly and earnestly until the next blog I butcher graces these internet halls. The next subject to be covered will be this - "ARE THERE 2 GODS IN THAT BIBLE? TOOTH FOR A TOOTH OR GRACE? IS THE BIBLE A HUGE TEST FOR SORTING AND DESCERNING A MANS HEART?

Thank you so much for reading my blog and it has been an honor to prepare this for you. I wish you well and send some extra-good vibes your way! See ya next time!

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yoyojuggernaut · 2 months

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Embracing Unexpected Opportunities: A Journey of Growth and Discovery

Until this week, my biggest aspiration, now that I FINALLY got my bachelor's degree, was to get my Certificate of Child Development (CDA). I began the year by stepping back into the world of early childhood education and it has filled me with excitement and purpose. This feels like the natural next step for me, the path I was meant to follow. I have felt like, I DID IT! I MADE IT! I have been taking it all in, and being so grateful...

Recently, an unexpected opportunity knocked on my door – the chance to pursue higher education. Me, in grad school?! The image of Elle Woods making her grand entrance at Harvard flashes through my mind, a mix of disbelief and excitement swirling within me. It's incredible how just 18 months ago, this wasn't even on my radar. Yet, here I am now, standing at the crossroads of possibility, the future stretching out before me like an open road.

The realization that I'm being acknowledged as a key player in my field fills me with a sense of pride and accomplishment. It's a validation of the hard work and dedication I've poured into my journey thus far. A teacher the other day complimented my "beautiful spirit". "Thank you so much," I gushed, "that means so much! I've put in a lot of work!" Another teacher thanked me for always being so positive. "It's a hard job, but someone's gotta do it!" I piped in, trying not to blush. And, along with recognition comes a shift in perspective. I find myself stepping away from the carefree attitude of "I'm so happy I get to play all day!" and embracing a more serious, focused approach. I am most proud of taking time in my break to self-soothe and self-regulate from my chaotic and fast-paced toddler classroom. My employer embraces this, luckily. There are wall coloring spots around the school, fun :)

Clutching onto my bachelor's degree like a beacon of hope, I am reminded of the journey it took to get here. Each late night of studying, every challenging assignment conquered, all culminating in this moment of opportunity. This degree represents not just academic achievement but also resilience and determination. It serves as a reminder that I am capable of overcoming obstacles and achieving my goals, no matter how daunting they may seem.

This weekend has been a whirlwind of emotions as I delve into researching the financial possibilities that come with this new opportunity! Surprisingly, I've discovered a wealth of scholarship and loan forgiveness options available to me. The gratitude I feel is overwhelming. Just 18 months ago, my world felt so small, and my battle with depression loomed large. It's a stark contrast to where I stand now – on the brink of a new chapter, filled with promise and potential.

As I reflect on this journey, I can't help but feel a sense of nostalgia for the simplicity of my childhood dreams. There was a time when all I wanted was to work with children, to play, and see them learn new things. But, I didn't trust myself or take myself any kind of seriously. Now, that I have taken the time to embark on a healing journey, I find that this aspiration still holds true to me, and it has maybe evolved into something greater – a thirst for knowledge, a desire to push boundaries, and a willingness to embrace change.

And as I sit here, typing away, I'm reminded of the days when I used to share my thoughts and musings on Tumblr circa 2010, reveling in the anonymity it provided. Lately, I've been blabbing on Facebook status updates, but it's made me miss the anonymous aspect of Tumblr. So here I am, back to writing, back to this platform where I can express myself freely, without the constraints of identity <3

So here I am, ready to embark on this new adventure, with a heart full of hope and a mind open to whatever the future may hold. As I take the first steps toward the possibilities of graduate education, I hope to carry with me the lessons of the past and the dreams of tomorrow. And in this moment, I am filled with gratitude for the winding path that led me here, to this place of endless possibility

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midwest-emotional · 4 months

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i'm tired of pretending like what i did needs to be forgiven, and also that you're sorry

draft of a story about dying, and the things we say or do around it (incomplete)

for the week of January 28th, prompts were "heaven, necklace, tree."

CW for slurs, homophobia, cancer, transphobia, mentions of drug use

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Trees get smaller as you grow up. You used to think it was because you were small and the trees were very, very large. They used to span up over your head, into the air, into infinity, but when you look around the neighborhood now, forty years passing, it’s that the trees have definitely gotten smaller.

This is how I feel, at least. This town’s been growing, and as more people come in, more trees leave. They replant the trees, sure, but the ones put in are smaller and frailer. I think a lot about the copse I used to smoke weed with in the nineties, where the trees blocked out most of the sun but just enough got through the leaves that the patterns on the grass became mystifying with each puff. That copse is gone now, ripped out to make room for a strip mall. The trees there are spread far apart, each one barely fifteen feet tall, and they’re smaller.

I can see it from the side of my car as I stop for a smoke break. Coming home is a bitch. Everything always changes. I’m pretty sure the high school in this backwater is no longer a hick high, where being an open dyke makes you less of a target. It probably even has a Gay-Straight Alliance, given how trendy among Gen Z being queer is. But the rules are stricter now, aren’t they? Once something stops being counter-culture, it starts to form its own status quo. Think of how this town used to treat me, and now think of how this town celebrates June. On my sister’s Facebook, I’ve seen advertisements for the pride celebration. Probably exceedingly tame, and exceedingly corporate. Fuck.

I take a drag on my cigarette, looking out at those pathetic little trees. Coming home. I haven’t done this in years, but the sperm donor’s on his way out, and I’m a fucking idiot. I’m giving him one last chance to look me in the face and decide if this boy-girl creature that I’ve become is worth forgiving. Not that I think I need forgiveness, but there’s some bullshit saying about making peace with your enemies. And yeah, the Dad that slapped me for shaving my head when I was 15 is definitely one of those.

The only reason I know they’re still here is that I’m in contact with my younger sister. Even now, I’m texting her about the arrangements and when I can come by. Ellie’s a saint, as some would say, or just spineless. She can’t handle confrontation, and because of that, she’s been put in charge of the sperm donor through his chemo. The two older siblings, who don’t talk to me, are apparently too busy with their perfect families to lift a finger to help him, not when Ellie’s there to dump everything on.

Dumbass Ellie. Too subservient for her own good. That’s probably why she’s the only one that talks to me, too, because she’s scared of rejecting me at all. Her texts come through soft and mousey, each one a slight suggestion. “What time is good for you?” she’d say, and I’d say, “What about one?” and she’ll go, “No, I think Dad is sleeping at one. Do you have a better time?” Just tell me what time to come over, god fucking dammit. We’ve finally settled on four, and she’s asking me about dinner. “What do you want?”

I know it’s a trap. Ellie’s got something picked out, something in her heart, but she wants it to feel like it’s my idea because if she stands up for anything at all, she’s pushing people away. She wants me to feel like she’s making me feel welcome. I hate her so much, and yet I keep in contact with her, too. Because she’s family, and she’s technically all I fucking have. I have the in-laws, technically, but one of them’s going down the dementia hole and the other isn’t coping well, so it’s not like I can talk to them casually. But Ellie’s around, and it helps that I don’t see her often. We keep in touch with pokes on Facebook, texts occasionally sent on birthdays, and selfies seen through the only social we share. And in those moments, I almost miss her.

Until I’m talking to her again, cigarette in one hand and phone in the other, trying to play “guess the restaurant” and get the answer right. Family fucking sucks. Why do I bother, I think as I take a drag. I could leave, and spend the entire day curled up in my hotel, and fly home tomorrow like I planned on it. There’s no way in hell I’m staying longer than tonight. Ellie’s going to try to talk me out of it, but I can’t. Even if it goes well, I can’t.

In many ways, it would almost be worse, wouldn’t it?

“How about pizza?” I finally text, after three other suggestions are thrown out. Chinese food gives her the shits, apparently. Ordering sandwiches is a waste of money, or so she’s suggested with her passive redirection. And Dad’s not really in the mood for burgers. So, I’ve got it. Pizza. The bitch wants pizza.

A few seconds later, I get a, “Pizza is fine.” A few more seconds later, I’m swearing and stomping out my cigarette as the new guessing game shows up. “What kind of pizza?”

---

If you listened to my mother tell it, it was over a necklace. It wasn’t even a particularly expensive one, just a simple golden chain with a cross and a small lab-grown gem in the center. A birthday present, expensive for our middle class family, that I ungratefully spat back in their face. I was a bitch, couldn’t just accept being a good girl, and nothing was worth dealing with my disgusting dyke ass.

If you’ve ever had parents that would rather you kill yourself than be gay, you know it was a long list of various breaking points that led to me throwing the necklace across the room and screaming that I’d rather be anywhere but there. Another spit in the face, another birthday getting make-up and dresses and frilly clothing in an attempt to fix me. And I was seventeen and not particularly emotionally stable, so how could I have stopped myself?

The way Ellie put it is that my father is willing to forgive me, and I’m not sure if I’m going to throw it back in his face or take it gracefully. I’m not seventeen anymore, and this isn’t the nineties. And sure, I survived being homeless. I crashed on friends’ couches, dropped out of school, and started full-time at the Dairy Queen. Then I threw together as much money as I could and moved with my friend Desiree to the nearest city, where we quickly realized we hated living with each other and it wouldn’t last much longer than the lease.

Sometimes I think about Des. Last I checked, she’s gotten married to a man that looks extremely boring, nothing like the men she used to dream about back then. They’ve had kids. They’ve grown up. And while I have, too, it doesn’t look like Des. I live in a two-bedroom apartment with my spouse, Brooke, and roommate, and while it’s a good location in Los Angeles, it’s generally agreed that none of us are ever going to be able to have kids. We’re too old and too broke. We’d have to leave the city, probably move to a red state, and my spouse isn’t as resilient as I am. I could survive, maybe. He couldn’t. He’s lived in California all his life, and while I love him to death, there’s a softness to him that I don’t quite want to ruin.

That’s why he’s not with me. He had offered, but I’m not willing to explain his presence, and I don’t think my sperm donor deserves to know him. I’ve got a few texts from him on my phone, asking me about the flight and how well things are going, and I’m not sure I can deal with telling him that I am going to kill my sister and end up in prison for the rest of my life.

I drive down the road where I grew up, and it almost looks the same. This part of the town, at least, has been untouched by the development of new businesses. Most of the houses are well-kept. I wonder if they’ve started an HOA; it would be just like them to try to keep undesirables off the block. I personally can’t stand lawns, which is part of why I didn’t move back to the suburbs even when we had to take a roommate just to keep rent.

Pulling up to the house, I think it looks just as shitty as it did back then. I park in front, because I’m not comfortable being in the driveway. It feels too close, too oppressive. I sit out in the front for a while and wonder if I sit here long enough, the neighbors will call the cops on me. “Scary bald butch in your neighborhood. Might convince your daughters to cut off their tits.” It’s a thought, and that’s how they think it works, right? Then I catch something in the neighbor’s yard: one of those progress flag “everyone is welcome here” sign boards.

Is that how we’re doing things now?

I guess I don’t look quite as shocking. Bald head, piercings, but I’ve chosen a relatively muted outfit. A normal pair of shorts, a normal tank-top for the summer heat. I could have dressed worse. I glance up at the door to the house, its imposing oak wood telling me that this is my last chance to run.

It swings open, and I’m so tired of running. Sighing, I unbuckle my seatbelt and get out of the rental. I slam the door shut behind me. Ellie is there, thin as a wire, walking down the steps and waving me over.

It’s too late now. She’s spotted me, and so I must stride, headlong, into the jaws of the beast. I exit the rental car, praying for no hugs as I head up the walkway. She calls my deadname and reaches for me, but I stare her down in such a way that she drops her arms.

“I told Dad you were coming,” she says.

“Any reason why you wouldn’t?”

She hesitates. “Well, I didn’t think you’d actually come, much less stay for dinner.” I didn’t promise that. I hope she remembers that I said maybe to dinner. “He really does want to spend time with you,” she adds.

I clench my jaw so hard that I think my teeth are going to crack. I remember my mom crying and begging me to reconsider my lifestyle, that I wouldn’t go to heaven if I kept this up. I remember the necklace. I remember his hand in the hair I was forced to keep, yanking hard. Why am I here? “I bet he does,” I say instead, as neutral as I can.

We stand on the porch for a few minutes, stewing in the awkwardness of the moment, and I wonder if I made a mistake not cutting off Ellie like the rest. She wants peace, but does she care about what’s best for me? I don’t even know if I know what’s best for me. She twiddles her fingers, picking at her cuticles and the chipped paint on her nails. Then she clears her throat. “You should come inside.”

#incomplete #prompt stories

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