#however it is nice to see how ive grown!

[monocaelia]

i explode my old fics at an atomic level

#didi talks #i want to delete them so baaadddddd #but ik it’s good to see how ive progressed as a writer #and even tho they’re HORRIBLE to me they might be a comfort to someone else #so I cannot delete no matter how bad I think it is RAHHHHH #however it is nice to see how ive grown! #my old writing was very. novice? i think I’ve matured my writing by sooooo much #i cant wait to grow even more as a writer and see how far i get in the future #but that also includes. having to write more AUGH #should I rewrite my old fics? a remaster of some sorts. maybe as a special treat (:

[bigification]

Careful What You Wish For

I lay the cheap looking lamp on my bathroom counter as I get ready for a bath. I can't believe I caved and bought it, it's obviously a scam. This stupid lamp isn't gonna grant any wishes, that old man just got some free cash out of me. It doesn't matter, I'll just take a relaxing bath and throw on some Netflix later.

I get undressed and run some hot water into the bath. Some scented candles set the mood for relaxation, and I throw on some music. I dip myself into the warm water, and lay back.

My relaxation doesn't last long however, as a rumbling catches my attention. It's the lamp. It's vibrating with enough force that I can feel it from across the bathroom. Suddenly a purple smoke emerges from the lamp.

"I may grant you one wish." A soft whisper echoes out of the smoke.

What the actual fuck. This isn't possible. Did that guy drug me? Maybe I should just say a wish to see if it's true.

"I wish to be a more mature looking guy who likes sports." I blurt out. I've always hated how much I look like a teenager despite being a full blown adult, so this could fix that. Also I wouldn't mind being a fit guy who likes sports, it wouldn't hurt.

The moment I say it, the smoke starts to travel towards me. All the smoke spirals into my mouth and nose. I should be scared, but it kinda feels nice. A warm feeling sprouts in the core of my body, making me feel relaxed again.

As the smoke fills my body, I feel my muscles twitching. It must be true, my body is changing. My twig like arms thicken, with bulging biceps and defined forearms. My soft hands grow twice as big and fill with rough callouses. My chest puffs out into two juicy pecs and my stomach flattens into a cut six pack. My thighs thicken as I feel my ass plump up. Even my feet look like they've grown a few sizes. I also have to start bending my legs, as Ive become too tall for the bath tub I'm sitting in.

I look at my reflection in the water and see a handsome man in his late twenties. Holy shit, I'm hot! I've got a chiselled jawline with a dark beard covering it. All my features seem more angular, more manly. As I'm observing my reflection, I notice a pelt of dark hair grow all over my body. My chest, my arms, my legs, everywhere is dusted in a coat of hair.

This is everything I wanted. Even the sports. Memories of playing sports all throughout school flood my mind. I especially liked soccer, though I also really liked weight lifting. More memories of my extensive sex life flood my mind, people are almost hypnotised by my good looks.

Just as I'm reminiscing about my past, I remember I should be working out right now. I can't skimp out on my workout routine. I go to get out of the bath and notice I've got my underwear on. Huh, I must have forgotten to take it off before getting in the bath.

As I'm stepping out of the bath, something feels wrong. A warm feeling once again fills my core. I look down and see my six pack fade under a belly of fat. It continues growing until it sags over my underwear. My pecs swell into a pair of man tits, though they still have a solid base of muscle. My arms double in size, though with a soft layer of fat now covering the muscles. My hands thicken until they look like stuffed sausages, as more rough features cover them.

I feel my underwear tighten around my waist as my ass fattens. My thighs thicken until there is no gap between them, and my feet grow many sizes. I even feel my perspective shift higher, as my height increases.

The dark hairs on my body fade to an almost white colour as the hair thickens around my body. As I'm looking down at my body, I notice hair on my head fall to the ground. I look in horror at my reflection in the mirror, I have to duck just to fully see my face. My hairline recedes all the way to the back of my head, leaving me practically bald. My once sharp facial features have softened under a layer of fat. And a double chin has formed under my beard. I look so old.

Though the more I stare at my body, the more familiar it becomes. Memories flood into my mind of my career in soccer. I was a high level player, and a popular one at that. But you age out of professional soccer in your late thirties. I started focusing more on the weight lifting and less on the cardio. There was only so long I could keep that six pack, and turning 50 certainly didn't help with that. I don't mind it though, it makes me feel more manly. And it makes the team I coach more afraid of me.

I snap out of my trance. I grab a towel and start to dry off. Damn I forgot to take off my underwear again, I should get rid of this one anyway, it doesn't fit me anymore. I duck and look at myself in the mirror.

"Lookin good coach." I say as I smile at myself.

I turn to the other side of the bathroom and step on my scale. It reads '350'.

"Damn, I've really let go of myself, huh." I say as I jiggle my gut.

I also measure my height, it reads 6"6. I should have gone into volleyball with the build I had.

I dry off and leave the bathroom. I grab a family sized bag of chips and lay my fat ass down on the couch. I open the tv and it's already on the world cup. I really wouldn't want it any other way.

#male tf #masculine #fat tf #hairy #reality change #male wg #muscle tf #male transformation #age progression

[harunovella]

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ love language (verse iv); s.g.

synopsis: you and gojo go on your first double date... or is it really? content: canon divergence (teen!gojo era), fem!reader, hopeless romantic gojo, best bros satoru and suguru bickering as always, gojo may have had a 'help I've fallen on your boobs and I can't get up' moment, bestie shoko, not beta read (sorry for any errors!) note: another addition to my gojo anthology series! this one was sm fun to write, I love writing gojo and geto being nothing but idiots tbh... wanna be tagged? lmk in the replies!

"A dinner? A fancy dinner?" Shoko asked as you nodded. "What's a bunch of sixteen year olds gonna do at a fancy dinner?" She raised a brow in confusion. Ever since being paired by Yaga with Shoko, the two of you have grown quite close. You were more than thankful, as much as you loved your own little trio (including Nanami and Haibara), it was nice to have a friend that wasn't... well, a male. 

Not that there was something wrong with that, you saw Nanami like a sort of twin—though you were a bit more on the social side—he got along with you the most. Then there was Haibara, who was an absolute sweetheart and a gem, the energy both you and your blond twin needed. However, seeing as Ieiri was your senior, there was quite a lot to learn from her—outside from the jujutsu world. 

There was also Geto and Gojo... Geto was an interesting person to be around. He had dark humor but also was nothing but kind to you. Gojo, on the other hand...

"A double date?!" Satoru exclaimed as he was alone with Suguru after you invited the two young men to the dinner you told Shoko about. 

Arching an eyebrow, Suguru crossed his arms. "Who said this is a double date? In your delusional world, you're dating our little junior when she only sees you as a friend—"

"That's a lie!" Gojo snapped, earning a snicker from his best friend. "I'll have you know we get along very well, we hangout a lot! And— and we have a lot of fun conversations!"

"Sounds fun," Geto said sarcastically. "We all know you're madly in love with her. However, we have no idea how she feels about you."

"Then explain the double date, huh?" Gojo was now the one to cross his arms, tapping his foot. "You and Shoko, me and my mochi?"

Sighing, Suguru pinched the bridge of his nose. "Again, not a double date. It's four friends going to a nice restaurant to support one of our friend's family members. Nothing more, nothing less," he explained, only for everything to go into one ear and out the other for the white haired boy before him. 

Satoru was in his own world, delusional as always, eyes sparkling at the thought of you in a cute dress. Heels or no heels, makeup or not, he just couldn't help but fantasize about how beautiful you were going to look tonight!

"Earth to Satoru?" Geto waved his hand in front of his best friend, only to laugh. "Thinking about how cute she'll look tonight, huh?"

"Yeah..." Gojo nodded, a face of pure ecstasy, as if he were about to drool. 

"Maybe I'll swap dates, you can have Shoko, I'll have our beautiful—"

"No!" Satoru shouted, instantly jumping Suguru. "She's my date for the night!"

"Good luck with that, if you look like an idiot right now thinking about her, just imagine you tonight!" Suguru laughed as he shoved Satoru off of him. "You're gonna look like a complete idiot!"

"You're not discreet..." Geto mumbled towards Gojo as the young man sat beside you, cheek pressed in the palm of his hand as he ever so casually gazed at you. You were in the middle of a conversation with Shoko, something about a movie you both recently had seen together. Too lost in your discussion, laughing and enjoying the evening as Suguru watched his best friend look like he was in a trance. "You are literally staring..." Furrowing his eyebrows as a look of slight disgust took over his face, Suguru kicked Satoru. 

"Shh," Gojo brushed off, kicking him back. 

"You're lucky she's in her own world with Shoko to even hear us," Geto kicked again, feeling his best friend constantly kick back. Gojo was too focused on you to even pay him any mind.

The restaurant, although fancy, was quite lively and practically filled to the brim. The reservations were endless and everyone that came and went looked like they came from money. Satoru and Suguru wore similar suits, solely because they bought them last minute and ended up with the same look (Satoru was NOT happy, but Suguru found it very funny). Shoko, after seeing them, called them tweedledee and tweedledum... You, on the other, found it cute. 

Cute... Gojo kept hearing your words echo in his head. You thought he, himself, was cute?! Forget Suguru, you said he was cute! He couldn't help but indulge in it as he gazed at you practically the whole dinner. For a split second, he did acknowledge the fact that you looked beyond gorgeous. In a white, fitted dress, hugging your curves with a sweetheart neckline... It was safe to say his mind was split in two. In particular, the two brain cells he had. Half of his mind was floating in the clouds of your compliment while the other half was focused on the top of your breasts (practically where his eyes kept falling to). He was... somewhat of a gentleman, he just couldn't help that dirty side of him. You were beautiful! He wanted you!

In his defense, he was used to seeing you in your uniform jacket, skirt, and tights... the times you weren't, you were always dressed cute and comfortable. Never had he seen you like this, curves and all. 

Reaching over the table and yanking on Gojo's hair, Geto stifled a laugh as his best friend snapped his head and growled. "Rude, I was busy!" He hissed, reaching over and tugging on the bangs that hung over the dark haired young man's forehead. 

Caught up with your conversation with Shoko (and not entirely hearing the commotion beside you with all the various voices around you in the restaurant) a sudden gasp left the brunette as she watched it all happen before her in slow motion. Gojo and Geto shoved one another, completely forgetting where they were as others nearby watched in confusion. 

From one second to the next, you were knocked off your chair, head thudding with the ground as a body collapsed against you. Various gasps and whispers were heard as you winced. Blinking a few times and trying to sit up, you felt a pressure against your chest. Both Shoko and Suguru (who was pulled to his feet by Shoko), stared at the disaster before them. Satoru, with his face planted against your chest, as you stared at him, wide eyed. 

"Satoru!" Shoko exclaimed, smacking his head as he lifted it, staring at you with a shared blush, before both of his friends yanked him up. 

"I— I am so sorry!" He exclaimed, reaching for your hand to help you up as you looked stunned. 

"God, you two are so immature. Before we get kicked out, take her home and I'll handle this," Shoko tsked as you blinked, only to snap out of your daze. 

"It's— It's okay! I'll handle this! I invited you all—"

"No, you hit your head hard, let me handle this. Dummie over here will take you," Shoko kicked Satoru's calf. "Go. Now."

Without second thinking his actions, Gojo took your hand and lead you out. Both of you ignored the displeased stares and gossip that spread over the four kids who "shouldn't have been allowed into a restaurant like this in the first place." 

Walking out, Satoru stopped in his tracks before turning to face you. "I'm so sorry about... my face being in your... Anyway, are you okay?" He asked, using his free hand to gently touch the back of your head. "There's no bump, but, are you alright?"

"I— It's okay, I'm not hurt," you swore as you nodded your head, looking up at him with your doe eyes. Gojo swore his heart grew two times its size. "I promise," you softly smiled. 

Nodding, a small smile grew on the young man's lips. He couldn't help but gaze at you, softness in his eyes as he kept his hand on the back of your head. Silence weaved its way between the two of you. Nothing uncomfortable. You stood there for what felt like hours, looking at one another and nearly forgetting what you were doing or where you were. 

The sound of honking snapped the two of you out of it as you realized you were out in the open, with people walking by and cars driving along. 

Clearing his throat, Satoru lowered his hand from your head and kept his other in yours. "Let's get you home, yeah?"

tag list: @bakananya @strangehuman101 @thirtykiwis @sillygoosegoose (some of u I sadly couldn't tag!)

#harunovella writes; #gojo and his mochi series #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x you #satoru gojo x y/n #satoru gojo #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #gojo x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #gojo fluff #satoru x reader #satoru x you #satoru x y/n #gojo au

[dunmeshi-darlings]

Hewwo! So, I'm still thankful for the reincarnated s/o request.

If it's okay, may I please request a continuation? Reincarnated s/o reuniting with his and Marcille's kids?

Scenario: Marcille calls all of her kids, who were out in the world doing their own things, for a family get-together. Then, when they all show up, she surprises all of them with "Someone who you all loved just came back from the dead," then she brings in s/o who is a bit awkward since he still doesn't remember his past life, including his children.

sorry its been a bit since ive answered asks, been tired after my work lately and i dont want these imagines all you good people enjoy to suffer for it.

Even though you didnt remember marcille there were little things she did that felt like deja-vu. The way she moved her hair behind her ear, the way she would hold her drinks, all the little details feel so familiar. But all in all you still dont remember her.

It hurt marcille that you werent remembering all of your lives together, but the fact you were having deja-vu about little details here and there gives her hope. One day she asks you a question. "would you like to meet our kids? there all grown up now and wold love to see you again." you open your eyes wide, she hadnt said you two had kids together. It does make sense with how badly she reacted when you didnt initially remember her. After some debating you agreed to it, part of you was curious.

after some time all of them arrive. "Children, I found your fathers reincarnation...However he doesnt remember anything but he is having some moments of deja-vu. Im hoping this meeting may spark some more memories" Marcille says to your kids as she ushers you over, as you look them you definitely can see the resemblance to the two of you. It was so strange seeing these people who were apparently connected to you in such a way.

Some of them hug you tightly, saying how good it is to see you again. Some of them have tears falling from there eyes. Others however take a more measured response and say its nice to meet you, asking if you remember anything and how its been being with mother again.

As you look at each of them you cant help but feel happy, sure you dont remember them but you cant help but feel a connection to each of them, and a strange sense of pride and love towards each of them. You were happy to see they were all doing so well and were happy and were glad to have met them in this life.

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi x reader #marcille #marcille donato #marcille x reader

[voidcat]

— a mutual intoxication

characters: dazai osamu, you

notes: implied toxic unlabeled past relationship, idk what this is beyond that, ive been doing some p stupid shit lately i needed dazai to shake me out of it. also my e key has issues so there may b missing lettrs

song: Los Borrachos (I Don't Have Any Hope Left But The Weather Is Nice) by Car Seat Headrest i think?? im notsure

Turning your phone off with a sigh, you close your eyes, sensing that presence hovering over your shoulder a little too late.

You have grown rusty, it seems, for he stands like that, too close for comfort, close enough for you to feel his breath and his eyes glued on the black screen of your phone.

“Look who’s here!”

Dazai Osamu exclaims giddily as he makes a turn around and slides right next to you. As if its some mere coincidence the two of you ran into one another and not something he foresaw before you even decided to drop by this cafe.

And so Dazai settles down, makes himself comfortable, easing in and blending into your side, to the environment.

A quick look shot his way, at your phone and the people idling in the cafe, you wait and wait, swallow down each second thats been passing.

And he catches it no matter how quick.

Of course he would, this is Dazai after all. Nothing gets past his senses, his wicked perception, his inituition.

Dazai's presence right here, right now means only one thing: That he has won.

Or so, he thinks. And once he does, it is the truth and absolute truth, even despite the circumstances preventing it, he will make sure to eradicate.

So far his voice falls deaf on your ears, as often was the case in your past, just a background noise to fill the air and nothing else–

"Someone has been busy, hm?" his coo leaves you on the edge, and you have half a mind to not jolt up or shoot another glance by your phone.

You know this.

You know Dazai, he is just doing what he does best, you are better than this: giving him what he seeks.

"So, what are they like? Have they been helping you with that itch on your brain that needs a good scratch?"

It shouldn't sting when you have grown used to it, but it does, just a little.

Not because he is right– he is, that's another issue, but because you're still doing that after all that time.

A little attention never killed anyone, that part of your brain reasons but another is quick to remind you of all those myths and tragedies of Greece.

It is nowhere as satisfactory as the real thing obviously, but even messages of sweet words and praises gets you going– though you hate to admit it, that you like this, you relish on this, the high of it.

Bonus points when the compliments are not the typical ones you can see everywhere, when the terms of endearment and what follows them sound to be thought over.

Lips pulled tight, you only stare at Dazai without a word.

"Not deserving of your voice? Not even the scoldings?" he tilts his head to the side with a smirk.

Bandaged hand over the table moves on its own.

They seem fresh, you cannot help but make a note of. Perhaps he came across a discount recently. There is no way in hell he would pay for these. Not when he has the agency's stash to raid, or you to buy and apply a fresh set.

His weird unique way of showing vulnerability, in his own way. But how can you blame the man?

He was already a mess when the two of you met.

Finger swiped over the screen, he taps the passcode, only to be left alone with the lockscreen.

Head turned to face you, another smirk that says "I'm impressed."

thanks no thanks, i don't need your compliments, you want to say.

you are not worried per se, you do not owe your piece of shit of an ex any explanation.

how things will turn out however, has you wondering. You know Dazai, but there are times when even you're at a loss of predicting his mind.

Friend of a friend– you doubt he knows that friend in th first place. Maybe their social media profiles at most but that's not much to go by.

The phone comes to life then– of course it had to be th fingerprint you had forgotten about.

Yet Dazai only seems pleasant at th turn of events. From your expression, he can tell this was not intentional but where's the fun if he doesn't go around claiming you were always waiting for him to return to your loving embrace.

"Not good enough apparently."

you whip your head at his voice, confusion clear on your face.

"Since you're sitting here alone all by yourself, not even on a call or texting." he shrugs as if he is explaining something simple, some truth of life to a kid.

"And do pray tell, Dazai, how am i supposed to text or talk when you have my phone?" you don't realize your teeth grithing.

To your reaction he only offers a grin, aware you know the answer as well as him.

even now, him going through your phone is old news. He did that before, and so did you– returning the favor.

If you wanted all his attention on himself, he demanded the same in return, give and take, until you suffocate.

and yet, even now that air stinging and filling your lungs does not hurt. the unbreathable toxic air is welcome in your lungs, an old friend you cannot shake off your life.

dull eyes ignore your question as they quickly go over chat histories, a little sneak at your photo roll without a doubt and side private accounts you keep limited to few people in your life.

with a sigh, he turns the device off and tosses it back on the table, leaning on his back, relaxing entirely. "My, my– and here I was worried you had forgotten all about me."

You had, as a matter of fact, yet you doubt he'd take your word for it, not when he has something brewing in his head to prove. Whaatever it may be, you know it won't end up in your favor.

"Now I just feel bad," that indifferent tone of his rings loud and clear.

hah! as if he is in any position to feel bad for your sake, what an awful attempt at a joke.

"Darling, you deserve better than that." "And that 'better' is supposed to be you?" you retort without missing a beat, annoyance clear in your voice.

"Well," he drags the word with a tilt of his head, gaze locked on the ceiling as if it's the wide blue sky instead, "Not saying I'm the best you've had, surely there are plenty of fish in the sea,"

a lie, you are aware, what he truly says is 'your words, not mine'.

"You deserve someone to match your wits." he concludes.

When you turn to look at his face, you see him sliding down slightly, head thrown back and resting.

even when complimenting, he makes sure to cast the hook where he wants it, all he has to do is sit and wait.

and hate yourself just as much, you know it has worked, that he is right. As exhasuting as it was to be ...something with Dazai Osamu, it was exciting, keeping the adrenaline rushing constantly, the ups and downs, highs and lows, the clashing and the sudden unision in the face of anything else.

"Not some sorry excuse of a person who cannot even pick up on one third of the things and teasings you say."

this, you're unsure if it is the living and breathing Dazai that says it, or the little one nestling in the back of your hand, always making sure to remind you he will never leave you alone.

Th who of it does not matter though.

Bcause all the ticks and kcks of your relationship with him, it was the unspoken understanding you enjoyed more than anything.

A look is all it takes, a gesture is all he needs, no words spoken, no thoughts admitted out loud verbally.

With a mind as sharp and bright as Dazai's, he understood you more than anyone else.

But being understood is not the entirety of it.

that's where communication plays in after all.

and as bright as he may be, Dazai took this to his advantage, his vague tactics to keep you around.

Sweetness but not too much, attention just long enough to keep you waiting for more, at the ready with big eyes–

letting your shoulders drop and realizing the tension you had on this whole time, you lean back as well, mirroring the man next to you and letting your body fall toward his direction a little.

Who are you to judge Dazai Osamu when you haven't been any better?

maybe this is what you wanted this whole time, letting this 'break up' last longer than the prvious ghosting phases, ignoring him on purpose and seeking out a new source to keep you up.

you can feel an arm draping over you, not bothering to open your eyes. this, too, has become something you've grown all too familiar with– one of the dolce ones, even when th grip becomes tight– keeping the other locked in.

because for any chain Dazai has on you, he possesses a matching one.

He might be the human with the highest perception skills for all you care– you know him, and that speaks for itself.

back and forth, it's a never ending dance of teasing, stepping on toes on purpose, pretending to have gotten bored in the middle only to surprise the second party with a sudden spin and bending of the waist– leaning in, nose to nose, until your visions blur into nothing but each other, and the mess you have left in your trail.

#didnt end this exactly in th way i wanted but i think this one is better #u can pretend he says mst lik 'ill makeu forget abt thm in no time' and ur inner monologue smt abt how thres no need for this already #uh anyays #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #felizai #menthol ellness<3 #dazai x reader #dazai x you #bsd x you #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x you #bungou stray dogs x reader #dazai osamu x you #dazai osamu x reader #gender neutral reader

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS VERSUS SONG Bloody Night Vol.Ⅳ Mini Drama “Reiji VS Kanato”

Original title: 録り下ろしミニドラマ「レイジＶＳカナト」

Source: Diabolik Lovers VERSUS SONG Bloody Night Vol. IV Mini Drama

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Katsuyuki Konishi & Kaji Yuki

Translator’s note: Reiji and Kanato are a...fascinating combination to say for sure. They were paired for the very first VERSUS CDs as well though, so it isn’t exactly new either. I remember back then it revealed how Reiji could be much more intense than his initial calm demeanor leads to believe, but after HDB, they decided to kind of get rid of this ‘wild’ side of him for some reason. Although in this case, it might be for the best because Kanato already brings more than enough chaos to the table. 

*Rustle rustle*

Kanato: …Going to bed already?

You seem startled.

Kanato: Fufu~ What’s the matter? …I was so nice to come all the way to your room. So shouldn’t you be a little happier? ーー That being said, I feel as if your scent is stronger than usual. …Hey. Did somebody suck your blood?

You shake your head.

Kanato: Hmー I see…But I can’t trust your words. So how about we do this…?

*RIIIIIP*

Kanato: Come on, show me your arm.

You hesitate.

Kanato: Hurry up, please. Come on…!

*Rustle rustle*

Kanato: Fufufu…I’m going to tie you up nice and tight with the sheets like this. Aren’t you glad? Besides…

*Rustle*

Kanato: If I tie your other arm to mine, you won’t be able to leave my side anymore. I’ll get to hog your blood all to myself.

You wriggle around.

Kanato: No point in trying to run. You are far too weak to untie yourself. I made sure to make a tight knot. Well then, I suppose I shall indulge in your blood right away. Haah…I’m terribly parched, you see.

*Thud*

Kanato: You’re happy, aren’t you? You get to savor my fangs after all. I’ll mark you all over. …Now where to start? From the neck, per usual? Or perhaps I should go for the shoulder or your lower back instead? …But I suppose I’ll start off with the neck after all. Fufufu…Such beautiful, fair skin…Looks scrumptious.

*Rustle rustle*

Kanato: Don’t move, please. How am I supposed to suck your blood like this!? You truly are a natural at ruining my mood, aren’t you? Are you perhaps doing it on purpose?

You shake your head.

Kanato: If not, then why? Ah, I get it. You cannot help but react out of sheer job, can you? However, I can’t suck your blood very well like that. Fufu…Fufufu…I just had a genius idea! I can simply tie down your ankles as well!

*RIIIIIP*

Kanato: By fixing them to the bed like this…Heh. Now you can thrash about all you want and it won’t be an issue. …Hm? You’ve got tears pooling in the corners of your eyes? Have you grown scared of me, perhaps? Please rest assured. I won’t do anything else as long as you don’t attempt to run.

Of course, I won’t deny that it seems very fascinating to witness you scream in pain as your skin turns deep crimson.

You wriggle around.

*Rustle rustle*

Kanato: Fufu…Are you sure you should be doing this? If you keep at it, I might just do something truly horrible to you. Or do you enjoy the pain, perhaps?

You stop moving.

Kanato: Hm. Seems like you finally understood. I wonder how many times I need to repeat myself until it gets through to you?

Kanato bites you.

Kanato: Mmh…Nn…

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp*

Kanato: …Ah. Just as I thought, your blood is truly first-rate.

*Sluuuuurp*

Kanato: Hah…

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp gulp*

Kanato: Haah…I’ll suck you till you almost reach your limit, okay?

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp*

*Sluuuuurp*

Kanato: …Mm~ You can’t help but wriggle around from the pleasure? You truly are a hopeless girl, aren’t you? I’ll give you even more. Fufu…You must be so happy to get rewarded by me, huh?

*Sluuuuurp*

Kanato: Nn…

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp*

*Sluuuuurp*

Kanato: Mmh…

*Gulp*

Kanato: …Ah~ It’s so sweet, I can’t stop. Now where to suck from next? I’d like it to hurt as much as possible, but the blood also needs to be tasty. …In that case, I believe this spot might be ideal.

Your eyes widen in horror.

Kanato: Fufu…Fufufu…Look at how swollen and bright red your skin is over here, I’m sure there’s lots of blood gathered underneath. I mean, the fabric of the sheets has been rubbing across it with each and every one of your movements.

*Rustle*

Kanato: The way your heart is beating loudly sounds as if it’s begging me to hurry up and bite down…Aah~ I doubt I’ll be able to hold back. When I imagine the sweetness of your blood flowing underneath this skin, I can barely contain myself. Haah…

He bites you again.

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp gulp gulp*

Kanato: …Hah! It’s much richer than before…!

*Gulp gulp*

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp*

*Rustle rustle*

Kanato: …Hah. …Haah? Oh shut up, will you? All you need to do is continue to offer me your blood until I’m satisfied. I want much, much more! I haven’t had enough at all. Now then, more…

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp gulp*

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp*

Kanato: Hah…

*Sluuuuurp*

*TIMESKIP*

*Dingーdongー Dingー dongー*

Kanato: Zz…Zz…

Reiji: Kanato. Wake up.

You wake up.

*Rustle rustle*

Reiji: Oh dear. You woke up instead. Kanato is…

Kanato: Zz…

Reiji: …still sound asleep, it seems.

You ask Reiji what has brought him here.

Reiji: Why I came here, you ask? Because I was looking for Kanato. Apparently he broke some school equipment and did not inform anyone about it. I was asked by one of the teachers to give him a warning in their place.

Since I could not find him in his own room nor the living room, I thought that perhaps he had gone on one of his rare trips outside, but then I picked up on the scent of your blood coming from here.

…Kanato sucked your blood throughout the whole night, did he not? How do you explain that?

You shake your head.

Reiji: Denying it now? Fufu…Seems like you underestimate me quite a bit. No point in trying to make up excuses. Did you truly think I would not notice the scent of your blood filling this entire room?

*Rustle rustle*

Reiji: You are tied to the bed on top of that…Good grief. Kanato has some deplorable tastes. Keep still, understood?

You thank him.

Reiji: …Hah. I did not untie you to do you a favor. I have been feeling uncomfortable ever since I entered this room. To think that I have warned you so many times about not letting anyone but me suck your blood…

*Rustle*

Reiji: These various bite marks left behind on your neck…They were all left behind by Kanato, were they not? Good grief…What a mess. Nothing but filthy marks of someone who indulged in blood out of sheer gluttony.

It would seem that you need to be punished severely. For seducing Kanato for your own pleasure, getting him as far as to suck your blood. You should be taught a lesson…by my fangs.

*Rustle*

Reiji: However…Sucking from the same spot he did would go against my personal policy.

*Rustle*

Reiji: I shall give your back a taste of my punishment instead. This part of you has been left unmarked after all.

*Rustle*

Reiji: Please keep silent. I cannot guarantee the situation taking a turn for the worst if Kanato were to wake up.

Reiji bites you.

*Gulp*

Reiji: Mm…

*Gulp*

Reiji: …Hah…

*Gulp*

Reiji: Hah…Are you sure? The more you wriggle around, the higher the chances that Kanato will wake up. …Or are you doing this on purpose, because you want to show off to him? I will not criticize you for having such preferences, but I have to say, it is something unexpected.

You whimper.

Reiji: This was meant to be a punishment but…Good grief. You truly are hopeless. …However, I suppose it does not feel bad. I shall make sure you get a thorough feeling of my fangs.

*Gulp gulp*

Reiji: Nn…

*Gulp gulp*

Reiji: …I believe I told you to keep quiet? Will you not listen to me?

You protest.

Reiji: Then bite down on some fabric. …Come on, look this way.

*Rustle*

Reiji: Hmph. How laughable. However, I can properly punish you now. I am still nowhere near done. We shall keep going until you realize who exactly you belong to. …However, the sight of someone else’s marks carved into your skin is truly upsetting. I suppose I have no other choice. …Excuse me for a second.

*Rustle*

Reiji: I shall suck from your shoulder. I should be able to let you experience a sharp pain that way.

You tense up.

Reiji: Are you frightened? However, I have to do this, otherwise you will never truly understand who you belong to, no?

*Rustle*

Reiji: I am sure Kanato will be surprised as well. I doubt he could have ever imagined I would be here sucking your blood while he’s sleeping right next to us. Well then…I shall thrust my fangs…even deeper this time.

*Gulp gulp*

Reiji: Mm…

*Gulp gulp*

Reiji: …Hah. Accept the pain. And by doing so, fill your mind with nothing but thoughts of me. Hahn…Mm…

*Rustle*

Reiji: A fine reaction. Well then, lose yourself in me even more…

*Gulp gulp*

Reiji: Mm…Nn…

*Rustle*

Kanato: What on earth are you two doing…!?

Reiji: Oh dear, so you have awoken. I am sucking her blood, as you can tell.

Kanato: I can see…! What I’m asking why you’re here getting ahead of me when I was looking forward to indulging in her blood first thing in the morning…!?

Reiji: Hah. That is simply how you feel about it, no? It has absolutely nothing to do with me.

Kanato: Don’t be ridiculous!! I am the only one who gets to do with her as I please! You’re in the way!

*Rustle*

Kanato: Hey, you feel the same way, don’t you? You think my fangs are a million times better than his, don’t you? Ah…You can’t speak because you’ve got a cloth in your mouth, come you? Let me remove it for you then.

*Rustle*

Kanato: Come on, hurry up and tell him. That I’m number one…and that he’s getting in our way!

You remain quiet.

Kanato: Hm…What’s wrong? Hey, why can’t you say it?

Reiji: Kanato…That is because she does not wish to have her blood sucked by you, don’t you think? She feels satisfied after I bit her. In other words, you are unnecessary.

Kanato: Haah…? What are you saying? That makes zero sense! She felt better than ever before when I sucked her blood!

Reiji: That applies for when I fed off her. I had no other choice but to have her bite down on fabric just to keep her quiet after all.

*Rustle*

Reiji: Isn’t that right? You want me…to suck your blood. Just like this…

*Gulp*

Reiji: Mm…

*Gulp gulp*

Kanato: …!! Reiji…!! What are you doing!?

Reiji: See? Your body is heating up already. Just as I thought, you simply cannot escape my fangs. That’s what this means, no? Ignore the onlookers. All you need to do is be there for me.

Kanato: Kuh…You won’t get away with this…UNFORGIVABLE!!

*Rustle*

Kanato: I am the only one who gets to have their way with you!

Kanato bites you as well.

*Gulp*

*Rustle rustle*

Kanato: Fufu…Fufufu…Such a loud scream. Guess I am the best after all. I’ll give you more and more…! I’ll make an exception today and grant all of your desires! Under normal circumstances, I’d be pressuring you for letting Reiji do with you as he pleases. …Say, where has he not bit you yet? Show me. I’ll leave plenty of my marks on you…So, okay?

*Rustle*

Reiji: Good grief…I wish you would not get distracted by other things. What you should be focusing on instead…are my fangs.

*Rustle*

Reiji: Anyone can tame you with pain…Kanato can, as well as myself, and the others too. ーー However, I am the only one capable of making you experience pleasure at the same time. The way I suck your blood…will make you my captive…Nn…

*Gulp gulp*

Reiji: Yes…Lose yourself in my fangs…just like that. I shall give you them plenty more.

*Rustle*

Reiji: Well then, once more…

*Gulp gulp*

Reiji: Mmh…Nn…

*Gulp*

Kanato: K-Kuh…!! H-How could you…I won’t forgive you!! Both of you are making a fool out of me!! …I can suck her blood however I want…! …Hey! I’m the only one you need, right?

*Sluuuurp*

Kanato: Nn…

*Sluuuurp*

Reiji: Heh. Seems like she isn’t enjoying that very much. I believe that sucking one’s blood thinking only of your own pleasure won’t be well received by the other party.

…Now then, accept only my fangs. You are mine after all. Nnh…Mmh…

*Gulp gulp*

Reiji: Nn…

Kanato: …She belongs to me.

*Sluuuurp*

*Gulp gulp*

Kanato: Look, she’s twitching. I’ll suck you even harder, okay?

*Sluuuurp*

Kanato: Hahn…

*Sluuuurp*

Reiji: You truly are a slave to your own desires…reacting to both of us like that. I suppose it cannot be helped. I believe I shall have to teach you just how great my fangs are all over again.

*Gulp*

Kanato: …Hah. You say the strangest things. Just by looking at her, it should be obvious that I have won this show-off. However…It might be nice to see Reiji devastated by his defeat. Come on, show him how you lose yourself in me even more…Nn…

*Sluuuurp*

Kanato: Mmh…

*Sluuuurp*

*Gulp*

Reiji: I do not see why I would have to pay any mind to this nonsense, but I shall stay here with you until you fully understand. After all…I have plenty of time on my hands.

Well then, drop all the way down…to the dark depths of Hell. Hahn…

*Gulp*

Reiji: Mm…Nn…

*Gulp gulp*

*Rustle rustle*

Reiji: Nnh…

*Rustle rustle*

ーー THE END ー ー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #reiji sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

[gizamalblythe]

Call The Warlords!!

so this takes place in the Wing!au that me @blackcat2907 and @blackholesun321 have been doing, so some prior reading may be required.

(also if this looks poorly written thats because it started as a ramble and i tried to edit it but got tired like, 2/3rds of the way through and said F it we ball.)

((also also i know the seraphim are supposed to be like,,,6-12 ft tall or something but ive known and thought about these babies for far longer than i knew their actual heights so for any thing going forward from me, S-Hawk/Peregrine/Pippin is 4'3 and Sebastian is 4'4 because i think its funny that he's so small))

so in wing!au, and pretty much any iteration, Mihawk is pretty in control of any sort of instincts he has right?

all that gets thrown out the window when he gets an invitation from a mysterious ‘Shaka’ to come and collect something of his on the equally mysterious Egghead Island shortly after his grown chicks fly the coop once more

He gets hit over the head big time with the nesting stick once he lays eyes on ‘S-Hawk 049’ and ‘S-Lion 001’ though.

Mihawk's first thought is that those are terrible names, which is quickly overtaken by ‘i need to get them into the nest as soon as possible’ which is hard because he doesn’t really nest and the only place he would really think of nesting is either home on kurigana, or home on the red force.

the red force is closer, so after some thorough cuddling and introductions/more cuddles, he bundles them both up in a blanket, together of course, and then either picks them up in his arms (given that you can also pick stuff up in your wings to keep your hands free, this is a really touching gesture) and sets off to both avoid interacting with any of the other warlords (because he is a reclusive bastard on a good day and he really does not want to explain anything to anyone right now.) and also to get to the red force as quick as possible.

so, shaka didn’t know that Mihawk and shanks were together, so they each got sent an invitation, but let's say that the news coos have a really hard time getting to Elbaf, or the giants have a really strict screening process, either way the letter was late, so late in fact that shanks didn’t even get the letter until 30 minutes before Mihawk got to the red force ( we’ll expand on that more later)

now shaka was worried because he was banking on all the seraphim being gone by a certain time so when he received no word from the red emperor he began to enact some back up plans, all of them fell through, but he figured he could just kinda dump s-lion on buggy the clown but he hadn’t been able to bring that part of the plan up to the seraphim yet, so they all thought that s-lion was being left behind.

So Mihawk and the other Warlords, both new and old (excluding Blackbeard because he wasn’t relevant and Doflamingo because he was both in prison and Shaka did not trust this man with a child) arrive on Egghead where they meet Doctor Vegapunk-01 ‘Shaka’.

After initial introductions are finished, and an explanation and reassurances are given, Shaka starts guiding them towards a meeting area to meet the seraphim. Mihawk however, notices a large amount of nervous energy, separate from the waiting figures ahead of them. This, along with how familiar the presence seems, intrigues Hawkeyes so he decides to split off and investigate. 

When Mihawk walks into the training dojo, he sees S-Hawk training his swordsmanship. He spoke up once the boy had finished his katas and noted to him that while his ability to mimic his technique was admirable, it clearly lacked the foundation the basics provided. 

He showed the seraphim the basics, they practiced a bit, S-Hawk became emotional and blew up a bit out of frustration and lack of understanding on why he was being so nice to him then proceeded to break down crying. Mihawk sat patiently during the outburst, then wrapped his wings around them as he hugged the child comfortingly during the crying jag, and stood up with S-Hawk in his arms and picked up the younger's sword (which he attached to his belt because mediocre imitation or not it is still his first sword!) and then began walking through the halls to the exit.

At one of the intersections, S-Hawk meekly asked if He could take his brother too. Mihawk questioned if he was another clone of him , to which S-Hawk says he's a clone of an Emperor. Mihawk agrees and during the walk to the mysterious brothers room, the raven haired man goes over in his head who it could be.

‘Can't be Linlin because he said brother, so that leaves Kaido, Edward Newgate and-’

Conqueror Class Seraphim: S-Lion 001

‘Shanks’

so on the trip to the red force is filled with lots more cuddles and some explaining: 

where they were going,

(Elbaf)

Why, 

(that is one of the safest places Mihawk can think of to nest) 

Who is there, 

(his mate) 

How will they react to the newly named Sebastian considering he doesn’t share any dna with Mihawk and instincts will not like that,

(he will probably react quite well, considering that while you don't share dna with me, you do share dna with him) 

How will he react to the newly named Peregrine seeing as it can be easily taken as infidelity on Mihawks' part,

(he's not one to judge based on that because he knows that I love him)

Will he like us? 

(he will love you)

SO arriving at the red force, somehow Mihawk is completely unnoticed. strange but whatever, (this is because most of the senior officers and shanks are in a war meeting rn trying to decide who goes to go get whatever it is that THE Dr Vegapunk want to give them) so Mihawk just makes his way to Shanks’ room (very grateful to the lack of presence because his instincts are screaming at him to get the chicks to the nest NOW and being seen will not help with that) so he gets to Shanks’ room to find that it is laundry day so he sets the Eyas down on the bed, tells them he will be right back and books it to the laundry room where he is finally seen, he gathers a bunch of bedding and soft blankets and at least one of shanks’ throw blankets that isn’t really dirty but hasn’t been washed yet and just leaves without acknowledging anybody, someone tells a cabin boy to tell Shanks that ‘Hey, Mihawk is here and he's nesting. jsyk’

So Shanks gets the call that Mihawk is here and nesting which is slightly concerning because Mihawk doesn’t really nest, and he can't ask Ben for advice because Ben left half an hour ago to check out Vegapunk’s thing. So he goes to his room to investigate, to which he finds Mihawk, in the middle of a nest of pillows and blankets and nestled right there next to him, are two tiny chicks, both with white hair and tan skin, one looks like Mihawk, and the other…. looks like him!

he gently shakes Mihawk out of his baby-bliss-napping and asks “as wonderful and as overjoyed I am,,,,, where’d you find these adorable babies?” Mihawk explains and Shanks says that he’ll be right back to join in the cuddles, he’s just gotta get Ben on the den den and tell them that they can come back because Mihawk already beat them to it.

@manofbeskar enjoy some baby acquisition.

#one piece #dracule mihawk #red haired shanks #mishanks #akagami no shanks #opla #op #hawkeye mihawk #op oc pippin #op oc peregrine #(thats his full name btw) #op oc sebastian #op wing!au #op oc seraphim #because they technically are so different from their canon counterparts they are basically oc's at this point #op seraphim #zoro and perona kind of alluded too

[k-dokja]

SOFT THORNS — “i don’t want you to be in love with someone else” | IV OUT OF IV

Summary: Collection of writing based on lines taken from Bridgett Devoue’s Soft Thorns.

Daniel thought about it.

Concealing the truth is not a good place to be in. Pretending he is not hiding a life-changing secret from you affects him more than he expected. Yes, you are happy these days. Warmer than how you were before with him, but maybe it's his own delusion clouding his vision. Like if he convinces his own mind that you're happy enough times, then it wouldn't be a big deal when you find out about the truth.

Yes, he has another body. But his physical form has no business changing his feelings because he'd be enamoured with you either way. Even if you've grown a bit more distant with his original body since you begin to date his new form, he understands. You're taken now, it's normal to be distant from another boy your age.

He only wishes that he can be honest about his feeling for you no matter which shape he's in. It feels strange to want to reach out and touch you, only to remember that this version of him has no business being this close to you.

It disheartens him, but what else can he do? He made his bed and now he's going to sleep in it. Not for long, hopefully. He wants to be honest with you one of these days. All he can take now is the infrequent encounter the two of you have in this body, which becomes even rarer after he stops working at the convenience store.

Only by chance, does he see you again. Out on a night walk, like he was. However, what stands out to him is the location where he runs into you. In front of the convenience store, he would've laughed at the irony of it if he was able to explain how he feels.

After the continuous absence in each other's lives, the two of you decide to catch up over cool energy drinks at the front of the convenience store. Between the two of you, somehow, he has always been the more talkative one. Maybe it's how he always feels comfortable with sharing with you, never facing the fear of your judgment.

Yet, today, he cannot find anything to say beyond the small talk. Because whatever else going on with your life, he knows thanks to the other body of his. It leaves him in stagnation, not knowing if he can filter his own knowledge before he says something suspicious.

Finally, an idea comes to mind. The only one which would bode well as a common ground.

"I heard you're dating big Daniel now... congratulations," he broaches the topic on his own and immediately sees how foolish it is, "I hope he makes you happy."

"We're... fine," you smile with pressed lips, he feels nauseous, "he's really sweet and he treats me well, I think we can make a nice couple, yeah."

Hesitantly, he asks, "You don't sound confident."

At that, you wince. It takes you a moment to sigh and then figure out what to say. He waits patiently, hoping to figure out what to fix before everything goes wrong. Maybe you have suspected something is amiss with him. He knows he should take the initiative in admitting to the truth, but something keeps holding him back.

His fear. He's afraid of so much, especially when it comes to you.

"Well," you begin, "promise me you will keep this a secret from him?"

Quietly, he nods. You smile, a bit more relaxed now but nowhere near at ease. "I might or might not have been liking somebody else when he asked me out," you confess with those words alone are enough to shake his world upside down, but whether you notice or not, you don't tell, "I agreed to go out with him in hope to get over the other person but..."

You sigh again, kicking back on the park bench, "It's strange, you know," you continue, "I thought I would move on better if I'm with somebody else, but being with him reminds me of..."

When you turn to meet his eyes, Daniel knows not what to think. But you have that look on your face again, always on the verge of admission yet never crossing the line. "It always strikes me as weird how similar the Daniel and him are, but... that makes me even more confused. I don't know if I like Daniel for who he is or because he reminds me of someone I like."

His heart throbs once more. He never knows the truth can hurt, but maybe it is for the best that he knows now. Even if you like somebody else, you've given him a chance to find out. He knows it's no good to pry this out of you when you're telling him in confidence. Yet, however wrong it is, at least, he's not swimming in the dark. "May... May I ask who it is that you like? Maybe, I can help, somehow."

You laugh. It's a touch hollow, enough for him to flinch. After everything that happened to him the past few months, the last two years even, he continues to flounder when it comes to you. He has much room to grow yet.

"Can you?"

"I'll try," he nods, resolutely. It's not simply for you. If he says that, he'd be more of a liar than he is. It's for him, too, maybe he can make this work somehow, as an outsider.

"What if I said it's you who I like?" You put on a sardonic grin and for once, Daniel knows that paralysis from fear can come from something which gives him so much joy. "Would you try to help me then?"

"Wait... what?" He blinks, a bit taken aback. "Are you serious? You shouldn't mess around about these things, you know. I'm only trying to—"

You shrug, "I'm not messing around. If I was, I wouldn't have told you the truth. You can ask Zack about it, if you want, he knows I like you way before I started going out with Daniel."

He opens his mouth, then closes it. Hesitation leaves him wondering what he can say here without digging a grave of his own. So much of your time could've been saved if he knows about this before, it leaves him baffled and confused. "Why didn't you say anything?" He asks, quieter than expected. "I... I didn't know at all."

With a quiet chuckle, you shrug again, "Of course, you didn't, I keep it concealed for a reason, wouldn't want to make it weird for you and—" you gesture at nothing at all "—you know, Zoe, I didn't want the two of you to feel weird because of me. Figured it would be for the best that I move on before I make anything awkward."

"What does Zoe have to do with this?" He frowns, before adding. "Yes, I know she has feelings for me but... it's never like that for me. I will always cherish her as a friend, but I have somebody else I like, too."

You stare at him for a moment. Whatever you're trying to find on his face, he suspects you give up before seeing it because it might complicate everything even further. You let out a huff of breath, turning away and kicking at the dust underfoot. "Well, it doesn't change anything for me, you like someone else anyway and I'm with Daniel, now. I want to try and make it work with him"

"But you can be honest to yourself and make it work with him," Daniel answers, "I think he would've understood."

Even with the smile on your face, you narrow your eyes, "That's a big assumption," you point it, "did he tell you that? I can't imagine why he would."

"No, he didn't," he says, "but I know anyway, because..."

Before it can come out, he swallows back. Daniel breathes out in the hope to regain his courage. "I know it's late, but can you do me a favour?"

"Wild change of topic, but okay, depends on what it is," you meet his eyes, half-amused and half-confused.

He doesn't miss the concern in your eyes, but he knows this would be it. If there's any time for honesty, then it would be this moment. "Come with me then, I have something to show you."

When he waves for you to follow him, you do. However, it is not without question. "Where are we going?"

"My place," he draws in a breath, "there's something, I... The other Daniel and I would like to show you, please. I promise it won't take long."

It's early in the evening but he cannot help but worry that you might take this the wrong way. After all, he cannot deny that it's dangerous for a girl to be out at this hour. All of these nerves make him even quieter once the two of you are on your way. You, however, continue to crack jokes like it's nothing. Maybe it's how you cope. "So what is going on here? Are the two of you secretly in a polygamist cult?"

"Uh, no, nothing like that," Daniel scratches the back of his neck, "the truth might be weirder, though, depends on how you see it."

"Is it weird that I'm both intrigued and terrified for my life?" You muse. "I would like to think I know both of you enough to have nothing to fear from you, but this is weird, I hope you realize that."

He tries to smile, "I know it's weird," but it will get weirder, he doesn't know how to say that without you running for the hill, "but trust me on this one, I... I think it's necessary to say."

"Ha, are you going to drag me to him and make me fess up the truth now that you've heard it from me?" You jest. "Very insidious, Daniel Park. Very insidious, indeed."

He laughs a little if only to calm his nerves. "I don't think that's necessary at all," by then, the two of you reach his front door, "because Daniel already knows."

You frown, a touch confused. Yet, you make no comment while he unlocks his door and turns on the light. "Come in," he gestures for you once he enters the house.

Upon closing the door, you begin to scan around in mild curiosity, however, it is when your eyes are set on the taller Daniel that you speak once more. "Did you drag me here to reveal that he sleeps naked? Because I already got some vibes from him that he might be a freak deep down."

"What—No! No, nothing like that." Daniel laughs nervously. How does he even exude that vibe? Maybe he comes across as too eager for you... it's a subconscious thing, he can't help it. But that is not what matters at this very moment. "Let me show you."

He squats down next to his taller body, finding a nice angle to fall on. It takes him a moment before he summons his courage again, if only because it's the one time he ever shows the truth to anyone. Then, with another lungful of breath, he slaps at his taller body's head and finds his own eyes blacking out.

Immediately, light returns to his eyes again. He finds the vision in front of him is of none other than his own ceiling. Daniel springs up in his taller body like an automated toy. He immediately searches for you, hoping you haven't fled in the time he has taken to change. It's nowhere near enough to break for the door, but you haven't strayed far away from it since you entered.

He understands your apprehension. He does. But this is necessary. "Ta...da?"

"Uh..." You frown again. "What?"

"I..." He tries to find the word and struggles to narrow it down. In the end, he opts for the straightforward truth. "I have two bodies."

You edge back further towards the door. "...Interesting," you say, not showing an ounce of belief, "I think I'm going to leave now."

"No, wait!" Daniel scrambles for you and belatedly remembers that he is naked from the waist down, too. He pulls back, keeping firm of his modesty while hoping for the best that he can convince you from where he sits. "I really have two bodies, I know it's hard to believe but is it any easier to believe than two dudes having the same name living in the same house?"

"Statistically, it's more plausible than—" you air quote "—having two bodies."

He groans, a bit befuddled by your response, but he wouldn't back down there. Not after he already gets this far. "Listen, I know it's not easy to believe, but it's truth," he says, "see, whenever I'm awake, he isn't, and vice versa, look."

With a slap on his original body, his vision blackens out again. He never stays unconscious for long, however, his original body props up, turning to face you. "It's the truth," Daniel readjusts his glasses which has gone askew when he falls unconscious, "the two of us are one, him and I, all this time."

Slowly, you lower yourself down on the floor, trying to make sense of things. He can see your legs wobble. The struggle between leaving and staying because you want to understand as much as you want to wash your hands off this all together is apparent on your face. Daniel swallows, hoping that just this once, fates will be kind to him.

"That's a big claim you're making," you level your gaze with him, and he meets you evenly, even if his nerves are fraying at the edges, "even if that's the truth... you've concealing this the whole time?"

"...Only after I enrolled in Jaewon High," he admits, "the taller body came to be a day before I came to school. Since then... we've been one and the same, living under two identities while sharing the same mind."

"I don't get it," you frown, "scientifically, this is impossible."

He nods, "I know. I've been trying to make sense of it, too. There's so much more at play in this, I don't even know where to begin."

"So make it simple," you glare at him, "either you make it simple or I'll leave."

Again, he swallows. It'd be a struggle to find where to begin, but he finds it eventually. For once, he unloads the weight on his chest to somebody else. Your original scepticism eventually morphs to attentiveness. You emote little in the time he tells his story, everything from how he comes to accommodate this life to his involvement with the Four Crews.

It's a lengthy story, he has to admit. He fumbles a bit when it comes to his time with the homeless people. It's mortifying, to say the least, but he soldiers on because of you. Then comes everything afterwards, and finally, there he is, sitting in front of you and speaking the honest truth for the first time in days.

"There you have it..." He says. "I know it's not easy to believe but... it's everything which has been happening to me up until this point, I understand that you don't want to associate with us... with me, after this, but all of it is the truth, but I... I hope you understand why I wanted to keep this a secret."

By now, you have pulled your knees up against your chest while listening to him talk. You look a bit distracted by the end of it. Probably, you need the time to sort it out. He decides to be patient once more and wait until you put your words together.

It's a quiet type of agony to experience. Like waiting for the blade to hover above his neck, not knowing whether it will land down or he will live to see another day.

Finally, you speak, "Thank you for telling me. I'm trying to wrap my head around it but... I think I get some of it."

He nods, "O-Of course, thank you for listening. I... You deserve the truth, especially now that we're, uh," Daniel tugs at his collar, "dating, I should be honest with you about it... about all of it."

You press your lips together, again. "Can you... Can you do that thing again? The switch?"

"Of course! Of course," he turns to his other body once more, "let me..."

With a smack, the switch happens again. It's not often that he switches this rapidly in the same time frame, but the adjustment isn't so bad. He clambers to sit up again and immediately searches for you. Of course, rationally, he knows you wouldn't disappear in the split second he takes to change.

Yet, he worries anyway. The vulnerability scares him, but he loves you. What else he can do for the one he loves except baring the gentlest part of his soul? Even if it might hurt.

You sit there, still, much to his relief. Your gaze on him is apprehensive but you didn't leave and it's enough for him to feel hope. "Let's say I believe you," you say, "I'm not saying I do, but, even if I believe you... where does this leave us? Like, obviously, this is your secret, I'm not going to tell anyone but if you are him and he is you, does that mean I'm dating the both of you? How do we act now?"

"I mean," yeah, he hasn't thought that far, "I think it'd be prudent that we continue to stay like normal, but I do understand if you feel weird about this and want some distance. Even if we aren't going to be with each other anymore, you're a good friend of mine and I don't want to lose that."

Slowly, you nod. He knows not of what is going on in your mind, but you've heard the truth from him and had yet to kick up a fuss. It's better than the worst scenario he has drawn up in his mind, he doesn't know what to expect from there on.

"...I think I need to sleep on this," you get up on your feet, and a sigh slips past your lips, "I don't know what to think of yet but... I've never known you for bad intentions, Daniel. Let's hope I haven't perceived you wrong."

"I understand," he says, "let... let me walk you home, it's the least I can do."

Conflict passes your face at his offer, but in the end, you only give him a brief nod, "Okay," before unlocking the door and stepping outside.

He rushes into getting clothed afterwards. A spare t-shirt is thrown on with a pair of sweats. He looks dishevelled, but like always, this visage helps him get away with anything. Except for maybe, this new hole he has fallen in. However, he wastes no time dwelling on that and rushes outside. The fear of you leaving without him keeps creeping up at the back of his mind, but it vanishes when he sees you standing at his front door, your face is illuminated by the screen of your phone.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting," he apologizes, a bit sheepish.

"It's cool," you nod, "let's go."

Daniel has memorized the way from his home to yours because of his walk there every morning. Yet, while he always dashes there every other occasion, his current walk with you is torturously slow. You're distracted, he can see that, and on his side, he doesn't want to end his time with you either.

God knows it might be the last time you spend time willingly with him.

All good things come to an end. His good thing with you comes with a squeeze of his heart and an indescribable blue when he looks at you. He swallows on nothing again, wanting to reach out for you, but once again, finding that he cannot. You deserve your boundary and he gets it, but all he wants before this parting moment is to hold you in his arms and never let you go.

It's never that easy, however. "Good night, Daniel," you nod at him and he tries to not let the distance bother him.

It does anyway, he changes to ignore it instead. "Good night," his hand almost moves towards you, but he clenches his fist before he does something foolish, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"...Sure," you say, turning to look at him one last time before heading in, "see you tomorrow."

He doesn't leave immediately after your door closes. Normally, he'd blame it on his own unwillingness to be apart from you, but he knows it's more than that. All he can hope from there on is that you would one day understand.

Please.

#daniel park #daniel park x reader #lookism #lookism x reader #fics

[big-greer]

Art by @flowerthornsart

Here it is! my master post for my OC marcus!

Marcus has been known by many names, cernunnos, the green man, leshy, the leshen, the tall man. He chooses to go by the name "Marcus" as it is easier for humans to say and being an eldritch being, if he has a true name it could only be spoken in the tongue of the ancient beings and those that live outside of reality

Marcus is a being from the space between the creation and ideas, having both existed and yet to be created at the beginning of reality. Having watched creation weave the universe and reality together he left his home and travelled the infinite. His journey an eternity and perhaps only seconds, things like time are concepts foreign to a being such as him.

Eventually he settled on a small rock hurdling through space, a planet of roiling magma and volcanoes. But he knew the truth, for as he can see all things that are and all things that were, so to can he see all things that will be. And he knows this is where he is needed, and so his presence, the raw energy of creation that radiates off him bloomed on this world and slowly gave it life.

He carved the mountains so that he could stand utop them and gaze across the world. His footsteps creating various lakes and valleys across the world. The canyons and gullys formed where he laid down to enjoy the beauty of his creation. Life blossomed from him and so the world was created, and he made his home in a small pocket of reality deep within a secluded spot, not on this world. But instead, making his home within the idea of wilderness and nature, a metaphysical place that is the embodiment of nature and the idea of wilderness.

For eons he has walked this earth, watching over the life that has grown and formed on it. He was there for the first single cell beings to exist on this world, watching them grow into animals. Witnessing the rise and fall of the dinosaurs, watching the world slowly rebuild and eventually watching the rise of man.

He stays in his forests, the primordial energy in them still so strong humans still feel it. But he still wanders the world, keeping. Nature in balance and watching humanity as it exists.

He is a kind and gentle soul,almost like a father to life itself. He loves and cares for all beings in the universe.

However, as humanity has evolved he has learned some of there ways and emotions and has realized deep down that he feels a sense of loneliness. After all, what companions can an eldritch immortal being have? He knows that for him a blink of an eye is centuries and they will be nothing but dust, so he is afraid to be close to any life.

And there we go!! A nice little master post about marcus!

Below i attached some marcus x reader fics ive done. Enjoy lol

#my oc #my writing #marcus #he is a kind being

[kquil]

🧁: cupcake

tell me about yourself, as much or as little as possible and i will ship you with whichever marauder i think you will go well with!

hi! congrats on 1k!! i love reading your writing <33 this is my first time requesting :))

i have lighter brown hair that has a few natural blonde highlights from the sun and blue/gray eyes. i’m about 5’3” and am really quite pale. i would describe my style to be a mix between whimsigoth and dark academia. i have 2 tattoos, one of my star sign constellation (pisces) and one of a hibiscus but i am definitely going to get a lot more. i am more on the introverted side and really appreciate my alone time but when i’m with my friends i could hang out forever (probably bc of my crippling FOMO tbh-). i love music and making playlists and i actually play the bass and sing a little. one of my major hobbies is theatre and acting- i love being on stage. i’m a slytherin but definitely have a little hufflepuff deep down. i love watching criminal minds and horror movies but also appreciate really cheesy romance movies. i have a major minor caffeine addiction- both coffee and tea. i love travelling and reading and writing occasionally. id say my love language is quality time with a little side of physical touch and maybe a little bit of words of affirmation.

anyway i think that’s about me in a nutshell ! thank you so much and once again congrats 🫶🏻 !!

Thank you for the congratulations, darling and thank you for sending in this request, i hope it’s to your liking despite it coming very very late (｡Ó﹏Ò｡)

i ship you with, Remus Lupin

i. you often ‘borrow’ remus’ fluffy and thick sweaters on especially chill days. they were so big that they swamped your frame but that was how you liked it and you liked that they fit your dark academia aesthetic too. remus doesn’t mind, but acts like you owe him for being so generous with lending out his clothing — “you’re nice and toasty because of my sweater so you should help keep me warm,” was his most common excuse but that often led to you cuddling up against his chest, between his legs and on his bed while you read separate books. it was the perfect way to spend an evening together. 

ii. compared to remus, you’re quite short but he loves that about you, especially when you’re dressed in your whimsigoth attire. he thinks you’re adorable and always has this urge to hold you to him – like you’re his own pretty fairy, small and beautiful and someone he doesn’t think he could ever live without – but doesn’t want to come across as clingy so he usually just ends up fiddling around with the fabric of your clothes. you’ve come to see the gesture as a sign that remus needed to be cuddled so whenever you feel a slight tug on your clothing, you immediately turn to cuddle up against your boyfriend.

iii. when you and remus first got together, you were quite nervous about meeting his friends, especially because you knew how close they were. But, over time and with some prompting from remus, you’ve gotten just as close with the boys as remus has; you share a lot of sweets and inside jokes with peter, you help sirius with styling his hair and clothes and james likes to ask you for advice with lily. the boys often refer to you as ‘the missus’ or ‘remus’ girl’ or their ‘sister in law’ because you were all practically family to each other. 

iv. the time remus discovered your tattoos, he was entranced by them, he thought they looked beautiful on you and he’s grown to habitually kiss them whenever you two were intimate with each other. you’ve told him how you debated getting a tattoo dedicated to him, which he blushed at. he was incredibly flattered that you would want something of him permanently on your skin. you were strongly against getting a full moon however; you didn’t want something that caused him so much grief to represent him on your body, instead, you opted for tattooing a matching scar of his onto your own body – it was a favourite of yours and perfectly placed across the upper right side of his abdomen. “Why?” he asked you in disbelief when he saw your new tattoo, tracing it with his finger gently as his other hand moved to press against the matching scar on his own body. “because i think it’s beautiful,” was your answer and ohhhh how you made him melt!

v. one summer, you and remus decided to go on holiday together for a week before the full moon and he fully got to appreciate your love for coffee. you woke up to do mornings with coffee, spent the evening with tea and remus, being the loving and observant boyfriend that he was, helped brew you tea and coffee whenever that time of the day came along. It took you one time to show him how you liked your tea and coffee for him to nail it over and over again. he’s your little barista~

vi. your holiday together was spent in an airbnb located in a countryside village, watching criminal minds, horror movies and cheesy romance films in bed together, going on long walks and reading and writing at cute cafes. It was so relaxing and you had never felt so at peace… until the marauders decided to crash the party and surprise you two with a spontaneous visit of your little get-away together. It wasn’t an unwelcome visit, in fact, you were just beginning to miss the boys and they showed up just in time. “I knew it! I knew you missed us!” james cheered and sirius laughs with his arm thrown over peter’s shoulders, the three of them grinning widely at yours and remus’ cuddled up forms.

vii. as much as remus loved having the boys around, however, he wanted to be alone with you more so he set about planning a scheme to encourage their departure without making it too obvious — his plan: to be as lovey-dovey with you as they were willing to stomach and amping it up every time.

viii. “you’re so beautiful today, my love,” remus coos into your ear before pressing a kiss against your cheek. “No no no, let me get that for, my dear,” remus insists, hurrying to open the door for you to enter as he leans his face down and smiles expectantly. with a giggle, you kiss him sweetly as thanks and enter while the boys in the background pull faces at the lovey atmosphere you two were setting. “we can share the blanket, darling,” remus calls and opens his arms so you could run up to cuddle into his chest with the blanket wrapped around both of you. you were already wearing remus’ thick sweater but cuddling with him made you feel especially warm, which was needed for the chilly night. The rest of the boys glare at the two of you, feeling especially lonely as they look on with their marshmallows over the open fire and glaring when remus looks up from kissing you and smirks at their pathetic, shivering appearance under unbearably thin blankets.   

ix. by the end of day 2, they were packing their bags. “remmy…” you sighed and narrowed your eyes at your boyfriend after the two of you waved the boys goodbye. “yes, sweetheart?” he asks, pressing a kiss to your cheek after taking a strand of your blonde hair behind your ear. “i know what you did! i didn’t know you could be so devious!” he grins as you pout, “darling, i’m a marauder too, y’know~”

1K MILESTONE EVENT : CLOSED | NAVI.

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin imagine #🧁 : cupcake 1k #☀︎ : 1k milestone #☀︎ : 1k

[the-kipsabian]

before i go to bed, since its ace week

hi. my name is night. im an aroace agender person

i dont connect with a gender. im physically a woman cause i dont know what i want from my body to actually look like, and getting treatment is behind a wall made out of loooooong time of doctors appointments and therapy and tests and whatnot. even more so for a person like me who has been diagnosed with mental issues before. however, that doesnt change the fact that i feel no connection to this gender, or any other - i mentally see myself just as a meat blob, having to just exist in this body without another option right now, tho what i physically look like on the outside rn does not represent how i actually feel. i know im genderless. im not a woman nor do i want to be, im also not a man nor do i wanna be that either. im also not a secret third option, im no option at all. im the 'opt out to not answer this question' button. the none of the other

im also very much an aromantic. ive had crushes before tho so ive thought for the longest time i might be demi. cause all my crushes came to be after a mental connection with these people were made. but it also never came with more than 'oh this person was nice to me at a time i really needed that, i like them and wanna maybe like be close to them and idk hold hands??’ but thinking back on it now, ive never actually like. felt romantic towards anyone. i have never been in love as far as im concerned. i dont like kissing, hugs and hand holding are reserved for people i care about closely but not in a sense where i wanna date them. or maybe i’d like to try, but i also know im never gonna love them as more than my friends. any kind of intimate bullshit is out of the question unless we’re close friends and mostly when i initiate. i think im incapable of feeling romantic love, but i dont think this is a bad thing in the slightest. i just view it as the necessary evil in a sense, where all the love i do got to give is the same for everyone regardless of our status and their gender etc., and its just a sign that we are friends. i have a love language, but its not romantic, i dont feel it, but i still show it to people who i deeply do care about. and thats okay

ive always been ace. i grew up always thinking everyone else was weird (and honestly kinda gross lmao) thinking about sex and kissing and boyfriends and girlfriends and i was just. idk in a sense trying to fit in. but i never leaned that way, i still dont - ive known for the longest time that i am sex repulsed, thats nothing new to me, which is why even as a supposed adult at the ripe age of 30 (lol) im still not getting into smut, like yeah that should be saying something. like this started when i was maybe like 12 or 13 and this kind of stuff started to pop up for the first time in my small friend circle, and i just never got into anything like that that a person my age was maybe supposed to. i was never interested. and one thing im thankful about having grown up the fucked up way i did is that i never dated. i never had to find out about my orientation that way. like maybe i spent a lot of time thinking i was a demi on this section too, just thinking that it was very normal for kids not to be that horny as i wasnt either - but i still couldnt get into the “horny” stuff kids my age were getting into. it was weird. but, i had all the time to think about it, and eventually when i got old enough to separate the sexual and romantic attractions and online became a place i could search on my own safely (yay first own laptop!) and more informative about this stuff, the labels just. kinda fell into my lap. and it made sense. ive made my peace about being this way a long time ago and i dont care what that makes me in someone elses eyes (for example, my mom thinks its better that im “supposedly ace” rather than i would date girls :))) ), i know who i am and how i am. and im ace. and you can have all the sex you want idc im not here to preach i just know thats not for me and i do not crave for it, not now, not ever, and never have

oh and also yeah i think my bio says flux in there, its a thing i was made aware of recently in my last identity meltdown few months ago, which is basically like. you are the base of these identities (in this case, aroace) but some times it might very slightly but noticeably fluctuate towards something else for a brief amount of time - so if you’ve ever seen one of my gay panic moments yeah it might be actual real gay feelings i have. i dont know, but it feels appropriate and accurate and even if its not, having a little label to pin on it like an asterisk helps my anxiety about it so. yeah. and thats the most important things

im not only writing this to make it clear who i am and what i am, but maybe someone will see this and know that no matter what they identify as and what they are, they are valid and loved. if nothing else, i love you 💜

#night is an absolute mess on main #aromantic #asexual #agender #im tagging this yay #if you have a problem block and move on im not listening to your negative shit on ace week #im here im queer i can be fucking loud about it if i want to fuck you #anyways love you i need to go to bed lmao #aaa

[shushthisaintmytumbla]

I guess its the Summer Solstice so here we are again! 6/21/23

Wow I knew I neglected my last pot but here we are back even later than the last one! Like i say everytime it is wild to see how much has changed in my life the past couple of years. Ups down and everything in between I come back to this spot everytime and see the growth I’ve made. All by myself. All for myself. I cant always see it but moments where I read back on the past I am brought right back to those moments and never lose sight of how I felt in the past. 

I keep seeing on TikTok that today is a Summer Solstice meaning it is a great opportunity for manifestations so lets try this out why not! I guess I’ll start by giving a quick synopsyis of my life from the past 10 months or however long (wow sorry I abandoned this for that long!!!!)

Lets start with Work. I am still at the same OI job and feel like I have grown sooo much. I cant say im perfect at my job, but I know I have made a shit load of progress that i’m very proud of. I shifted off of working with my mngr which has made the biggest impact on my happiness at the job. I was going from having weekly panic attacks to not even having to review a single email anymore. I am really proud of myself for treading through the mud and getting to the point where I am at now. Now for the manifestation segment. I am going to get a promotion soon. This SUMMER! I FEEL IT. I am such a hard worker and really have gained the experience to move up in the company. I am confident it will happen in the next couple months. I cant wait to come back here and tell you all about it. It will be my first real promotion at a job which is something that I’ve really wanted to achieve since I havent gotten to this point at any of my previous jobs. You got this Case. 

Now for relationships. Tricky subject and yep you guessed it D is still around. I have tested a coupe other relationships with E and A and C... but somehow D makes it through the motions of every single season. I do want to touch on E for a sec. I have grown to build an amazing relationship with him, but I havent seen him for a few weeks and I feel like the relationship is starting to fade. Im sick of getting 100% and then a week later not even 1%. I am fully aware it has nothing to do with me and more so his own struggles, but I do need to realize at the end of the day that its ok to want more from someone and he cant give me what I need as much as hes shown me how I can be treated in a healthy way. He’s the boy Ive always dreamt of how someone can treat/care for you, but this story just isnt ours at this point in time. Who knows what the future holds. Now D. Oh boy. As we all know its been a fucking roller coaster. I have felt the highest of highs w him and the lowest of lows. I do hold love for him (but not so sure ive ever been in love... idk what that even is lmao). We’ve gotten to a point where I feel like I have been holding my power for quite some time now. I don’t have the same anxieties as I had for him in the past and i don’t prioritize him over others. We’ve tried not speaking (jan 2023) for a couple weeks and ultimately he just came back and I allowed it. I cant cut him out of it killed me. It’s so fucking hard. I am working on figuring out his place in my life and how we can carry on without hurt, but I feel like I am slowy falling back in the trap/cycle. We had a really nice day together the other weekend and I felt those anxious attachment feelings creeping in... I need to remember the things that have happened and try to prepare for the worst, but is it crazy to say that what if we are meant for each other? The other day I was able to imagine being in a relationship with him and it shocked me how I felt so good the whole day. Idk prob the worst thought ever but.. idk.. why are we magents to each other? Lastly I wanna touch on friendships and new york life. My friends here are still the same (but Karina now lives in Miami) and I love them so much, but I’ve been feeling myself longing for my relationships in LA. There are many weekends where my friends here are out of town and I feel left alone many times. In LA I would have the comfort of my family when friends arent around, but theyre 100s of miles away from me. I really miss them so fucking much it hurts. I think the longer I am away the more and more I realize how special my family is. I especially feel bad being away from my mom. She asks me nearly everytime we talk when I’ll come back and little does she know I’ve been toying with the idea of returning once my lease is up. If not that I think I have 1 year left in me. It still shocks me to say it and feel confident in that, but I really miss my family. Thats truly the only thing pulling me back bc I love this city and who I have become here so damn much. Im not putting too much pressure on the decision as I still have 10 months on my lease, but it is in the back of my mind. I feel like I’ll lead myself to the right choice soon though. So much would change though. I told D the other day about the idea and he said he would be so sad which kinda surprised me. It would be the end for us if I did move back which im not sure is a good or bad thing. Sometimes I tell myself the love of my life is not here and I wont meet them till I move back lol. Im not sure where the future is gonna bring me, but im confident in myself to do what is right for me. Leaving my friends here would also be horrible, but at the end of the day if they are the friendships I believe them to be, we will still be as close as ever and planes exist!! I guess thats kinda it for now. But this is still the start to an amazing summer with so much fun in store I can feel it!!! I have a trip to the shore coming up next weekend and then im going back home for my bday end of july - aug. Later in the summer I am going to portugal with my family!!! and something BIIGGGG is gonna happen in the fam :o Cant write it in words here till it happens. Until then, I love you. Im proud of you. and life is always working out in my favor. <3  Love,

C

[whackmewithwhump]

completely unwhump related vent under the cut I just need to write this out to process and if you have suggestions or advice it would be welcome

okay so for the past couple of years I’ve been helping out an elderly woman (mid 80s) who lives across my street. it started with about an hour around dinner time every day— lifting heavy pots, washing dishes, doing trips up and down stairs for her to grab her things. she paid me minimum wage for my time, and it was honestly lovely. she’s eccentric, and has a lot of particularities but she liked me and it was a nice lil change of pace and change of scenery.

during this time I was really struggling with my chronic illness. I was losing weight rapidly, wasn’t diagnosed, wasn’t treated, and getting weaker but I liked helping her, partially cause again, it was nice to get out of the house (this is during Covid) it was nice to have a friend when I was so limited due to my own illness, it was nice to help her, and selfishly speaking, it was nice to feel like I was still contributing. It felt good to make a little money and help someone when otherwise I was really struggling feeling useless. my friends had all just graduated and were getting grown up jobs, or moving out, or pursuing further education but my life was on hold. but helping her gave me some purpose.

flash forward and she fires the PSW she had for a while. tbf she was a bitch, and deserved to be fired. however, due to her eccentricities and sensitivities she rejected all other PSW candidates and asked if I could also take on the role of cleaning her entire house every other week, helping her with groceries the weeks I wasn’t cleaning, and doing her laundry. it was a lot for me, but I decided to do it, cause she didn’t have anyone else, and I could make a little more money.

over the years I have had I think three near fainting incidents at her house. two were resolved I think by my mom coming over and bringing me juice, but one ended up with collapsing on my neighbour’s lawn, my dad having to drive a van over (even though our house is about 30feet away) and carry me into the van to get me home, and when it couldn’t be resolved ended in a hospital trip. I’ve also gone in so much pain that I went to help her and then afterwards went to the ER, where even IV morphine didn’t touch my pain. but I still prioritized seeing her before receiving care. (this is not me trying to make a hero of myself, this is not healthy behaviour on my part, I really need to set boundaries and take care of myself, this is not cool and cute of me it is a problem). I’ve also been in the hospital and not told her and gone straight to her place afterwards. If I make a commitment to someone or something, I just take it pretty seriously even when sometimes I should deviate from it.

Fortunately, my health is finally improving but I am not back to 100%. My recovery time is faster after doing activities, I’ve been getting out more, I’m starting to have a little bit of a life again, but I still definitely have limits.

Recently she injured her leg. We don’t know how, but it’s been pretty bad. And suddenly I am at her beck and call. I’ve been over there morning noon and night, helping her up and down stairs, on and off the toilet, doing meals for her, cleaning, transferring, the list goes on. I am on my feet a lot of the day, visits that are supposed to be brief go on and on. I really really struggle with standing still for very long, more than walking, and much of what I’m doing there involves standing for long periods of time. Because she wants me over there so often and every single day, I don’t have any recovery time so everything is just compounding. I am in so much pain myself, and I am exhausted.

Today my mom came over because I have a hard time advocating for myself and we chatted with her and kinda explained that the current increase is hard for me, and she’s not receiving it the best. The manipulation has suddenly been turned on and it’s like— she’s telling me that I’m tired because of my physio and I shouldn’t do so much physio, and I just need better shoes, or I’m in pain because of the floors at MY house, or blah blah blah— she also thinks I shouldn’t go back to school in the fall cause I’m not healthy enough, which frankly isn’t her business— she can be concerned, sure, but obviously there is an ulterior motive. She wants me around for another year to take care of her. She also suggested that I stop doing things that are too fun because I might get overexcited and wear myself out. LADY. I am 23. My early 20s so far have consisted of trying not to die of starvation and taking care of an elderly woman, and now that I’m finally feeling a bit better I just want to literally go for walks and look at animals and volunteer at the wildlife rescue. I’m not even gonna stop helping her, I just can’t be her full time caregiver. Because I’m 23. I’m not related to her. I’m not qualified to give the care she needs. I’m not healthy enough.

She also whipped out the “I think it would be easier if I wasn’t around” and it’s like, ughh, let’s not talk like that. I genuinely do love her. I often half joke that my best friend is an 86 year old, and she really has become one of my best friends. This injury though which is only like a week or so old has just put way too much pressure on me. Ive never had any tension with her until now, or really even any frustration. I know she’s scared, and I know I’ve become one of her safe people, but physically and mentally I can’t do this much for her. I feel so trapped, and I know she’s manipulating me a bit but it is kinda working because the issue is I do like her outside of this new incident. Because I care about her even though I know she’s being kinda slimy, it still makes me feel bad. She does genuinely need help it just can’t be from me to the degree that it is.

And even though she wants me to not return to school she’s gonna be in for a rude awakening when I do. plus my family just wants to yell at me for being too much of a pussy to stand up for myself bruh idk but my health is already taking steps back and I can’t do this shit anymore but she just can’t get it through her head

#enn talks

[brainless-but-thats-all]

*wakes up after waking up´*

OK SO LETS RUN DOWN SOME POINTS IN NO ORDER

pages are incomic stated to have a vast pool of potential, but also to have the slowest forthcoming into that potential, with jakes hope bubble being the most direct example of the power he supposedly holds

Life is tied to many things, nature for one, but also with all of our life players, its tied to agency and being able to take things into your hands and desires(see: Condense who is a grown up thief of life, turns alternia dystopic. see also: jane is literally homestuck in the beginning of act 6, and the whole crocker manipulation thing)

Life is tied to richness and nurturing as well! what with all our life players being you know, very well off and not too badly, with jane and meenah's differences being due to their class (being manipulated through that goodness, and lacking it in the first place respectively)

now with that out of the way, LUCAS my boy lucas!

he grows up in the very nice town of tazmily! a place which is not only shown to be very rural before The Pigs, but also an incredibly peaceful town! it thrives!

however, lucas is also said many times in the game to be a bit cowardly and coddled when he is young, which would fit with the Pages theme of having a lot of their aspect, but not being fully able to use it

and for the majority of the early chapters, he really is unable to do anything

in a reverse situation of claus, who after hinawa's death immediatly rushes to try and get revenge in a fool's quest(justified, but still)

lucas does nothing, he runs away, he griefs, he is absent for a long time...

but when he comes back, he shines again, by getting the help of the drago mother, thus saving kuma salsa and wess

and then the years go by, and something i want to point out here(which im probably overanalyzing)

is that lucas is one of the only mother protagonists to really start out with a lot of psi! like even before he gets the power to do pk love and lifeup, he already has a lot! which reflects how pages do start out with some of their aspect, but need to be helped up along

and throughout his journey(so far as ive seen), he only continues to grow and grow not only by his own desire to do so, but also thanks to others' help! which is another trait belonging to the growth of pages, theres the magypsies, theres kuma who ends up inspiring that desire to be stronger, and although this doesnt affect anything directly, flint also gives lucas the courage badge

so now just as a quick clarify, theres one main distinction that i see between pages and heirs, because they are both very easy to mix up in regards to how they grow

heirs have always had the potential and/or ability to tap into their aspect, but just need to learn how to wield it

Pages on the other hand, do have it in them a little, but need the assistance of others in order to truly start reaching their potential

so anyhoo thats the lucas page of life theory, which i might update when i finish the game 👍

Incredible! Thank you for this i likes reading it a lot

#the mother 3 live reaction #lucas mother 3 #page of life

[clansunsharp]

@dissentersrising // LORE ASK TIIIIIIIME

i am, of course, starting out with this: magic system! changed it any? completely overhauled canon? completely followed canon? if it's not just canon, how does it work? and any lore implications/results of however you so decided to write it?

aaaaand. clan sunsharp. what's the name from? someone important, something important, just sounds nice? why'd they choose it?

also! i am seeing a lot of transfers. what's with that? as far as i can tell the clan looks more like a workplace than a clan in particular; how did this culture/structure develop over the clan's existence?

thank you for the ask!

honestly the magic is just whatever sounds coolest for a given individual. i treat it kind of like a dnd class so some can be studied in magic or inherently born into magical aptitude or not have any magic at all. or some have magic but don't use or wield it. i try to stick to their elemental heritage when i can though.

i just thought it sounded cool when i picked it lol. Alacrith comes from a stereotypical mirror swarm and wanted to create a clan that held an intimidating reputation but still stuck to the truthful ideals of her flight, ergo clan sunsharp.

youre absolutely right, it is very much a workplace. i based my clan lore on my personal experience in the us military. i mostly worked with people who had been stationed away from their homes and came from a variety of backgrounds, and many of the clan members are based at least partially on my coworkers (ive since separated - it's cathartic). the in-lore reason the clan has become such an institution is because it grew to the point where standards and procedures had to be put in place to maintain order. clan sunsharp's core mission is to train exaltees for the lightweaver, so the entire clan functions around accomplishing this mission. no matter how "bought in" a clan member may be to the higher cause, they are still putting in hours of their lives to make the mission happen, and this inevitably wears people down. even the founders, who envisioned a prosperous clan of plenty that honored individuality in the beginning, have since grown out of touch with their original goal due to their workload.

#ask prompt #sunsharp lore #i could go on and on about the military analogies in my clan lore #the rank politics are a huge one #the unrealistic and ridiculously high standards are another one #pin talks #thank you!

[thelightsmiles]

my old home

i used to live in this big white house with a nice yard, a beautiful garden and my dad even remodeled it himself and it was mine. it was in a rly small town, i think there was a population of like 700 people, which to me sounds like a lot. i feel like i didnt even see 300 seperate people.

it used to be my house. i didnt rly feel like it was home until i left.

sometimes i wonder what itd be like if my parents never sold that house, if they never dragged me into the middle of the woods to live in a freezing trailer in the middle of the winter, but maybe things wouldve ended up similar.

i ran away, i was kicked out, i just told them i was leaving one night, i dont even know what it could be called tbh, but i left and i ended up here and i went to my hometown, the place i grew up, the place i lived, the place i had so many painful memories and beautiful moments. i always thought i wanted to leave that town, to become someone else, but when it happened i wasnt ready.

i remember sitting in the car alone while everyone was out at the new property, wondering what the hell i was gonna do w my life, what the hell my life even was. bc if i wasnt the girl who lived in that one house in that one town, if i wasnt the girl who cried herself to sleep in that bed and walked down those stairs every day, if i wasnt the girl who took those godawful long walks and went into that library every day and if i wasnt the girl who fucking lived there who was i?

id become comfortable w that as my identity and then it was gone and i had none. i didnt feel like 'me'. i didnt feel real. i didnt feel alive.

it felt like nothing was mine anymore, that all the things and people around me were no longer mine, bc i couldnt have anything if i wasnt anything.

i went back to that town a few days ago, with a friend i met after leaving there, and i brought this special person somewhere special to me, and ive grown so much ive healed so much ive become such a different person than i was however long ago, that it was almost uncomfortable despite how comforting it was to be back.

bc i knew those things wernt mine anymore, they were some past self's, and i didnt have any right to the bridge i called mine to his face. not when i wasnt the person who had sat there and stood there and cried there and listened to music there. not when i wasnt the person who loved it. not when i wasnt the person who needed it.

now that house i used to live in, its dirty and the gardens overgrown and ugly. my mom used to spend hours out there and now its a mess. i used to spend hours inside there taking it for granted and now someone else does the same.

#memories #words #spilled thoughts #writing #my writing #journal #tw #nostalgia #hometown