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tillidontneedfantasy · 4 years

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A Track-by-Track Breakdown of Taylor Swift’s 8th Studio Album: ‘folklore’

Taylor Swift’s 8th studio album, folklore, starts off with the lie, “I’m on some new shit.” Perhaps to someone who hasn’t been paying attention this would seem to be true. But to those listening, folklore is the essence of her skill and success throughout her entire career stripped down for all to see, but more refined, enhanced, and impressive than ever.

Even prior to her pop-world domination with 1989 (2014), Taylor’s storytelling ability has always been her most compelling strength as a writer. In 2010, she released her third album, Speak Now, penned fully solo to prove to the cynics that she does, in fact, write her own music. And it’s damn good. Widely considered her best song, “All Too Well” from Red (2012) is a five and a half minute epic about love had and lost, all in walks through autumn trees, almost running red lights, dancing round the kitchen, and a scarf reminiscent of innocence, unreturned.

Yet her pop prowess over the last six years perhaps leads to her storytelling being overlooked to those more focused on the music. There is a particular genius in writing a successful pop song, let alone three successful pop albums, that still has hard-hitting lyrics underneath the synth. Take the excellent “Cruel Summer” from Lover (2019) for example. The song is just under 3 minutes, and the production is so enthralling and infectious that it can take such a hold on you, you might miss the tale being told along with it about a fraught summer relationship that was actually just the beginning of her own love story.

But without the pop production, her stories on folklore demand attention. Swept up by a strong wave of creativity and inspiration, Swift secretly wrote and produced this album in around three months with Aaron Dessner of The National, one of Swift’s favorite bands, and long-time collaborator and friend Jack Antonoff. A surprise album is a new endeavor for Swift, as she generally spends months meticulously planning an album rollout. It is refreshing, and as a dedicated, long-time fan of Taylor, it is thrilling. Due to the album cover where she is standing in the woods, and the genre of the album itself, there have been think pieces regarding the “man in the woods” trope and what it means that Taylor seems to be embodying it. As a result of over-exposure, people are unable to stop focusing on her image and the way she presents herself. It’s understandable, as she is a very smart and deliberate businesswoman, and clearly cares about how she is perceived. But with this album, it is clear that none of that was at play. We are in the middle of a pandemic. Her mother has been battling cancer for years. Isolate a creative person in a dangerous world and they will dream up an escape. She understands more than ever how precious each moment is, and does not want to waste another one. The woods being the landscape for the photo-shoot is most likely attributed to the fact that it is the safest place to have one under these circumstances. She’s not pretending she removed herself from society and became enlightened, she didn’t dabble into a more alternative sound to prove anything; she is just sharing stories she wants to tell that she is proud of, and nothing more.

Of course the music of the album is important, but the lyrics are the heart of it all, and I wanted to focus on them. Upon its release, Taylor explained in a foreword that the album was a mixture of personal and fictional accounts. The beauty of stories is that once they are shared, they never live one single life; each person who consumes a story interprets it uniquely, and the story becomes a multiverse, with different meanings and outcomes than what initially drove the pen to the paper. As explained by Swift in a YouTube comment prior to the album’s release, three songs on the album are all one story, which she has dubbed “the teenage love triangle.” The three points of the triangle are “cardigan,” “august,” and “betty.” But if someone had not seen her say that, they might not have figured it out. Maybe they’d interpret each song as their own story, and connect it to their own. Taylor knows this. It is why she loves storytelling and is why she is so good at it. The album itself is a mirror ball, shimmering with every version of the stories being told, reflecting a bit of each person who listens. These are my interpretations, but they can mean whatever you make of them.

1. the 1 The melody of this song helps set the scene; picture yourself skipping rocks on a lake, reminiscing on the one that got away. “the 1” is about learning to assimilate into a life without them, resentfully accepting that they might be moving on, too. She ruminates on what went wrong and what could have been. In a very Swift fashion, she puts the blame on herself when she sings, “in my defense, I have none / for digging up the grave another time.” Perhaps this song is fictional, perhaps it’s a revisit of a past feeling or relationship, but its relatability makes it feel real and present. She searches for explanations, restraining herself from asking, “if one thing had been different, would everything be different today?” But it’s good she didn’t ask, because she’d never find the answer, anyway. Best lyric: “We never painted by the numbers, baby, but we were making it count / You know the greatest loves of all time are over now.”

2. cardigan (teenage love triangle, part 1: betty’s perspective) “When you are young they assume you know nothing,” Swift sings in her smooth low-register on this Lana del Rey-esque single. “But I knew everything when I was young,” she asserts. They say wisdom comes with age, but there is wisdom lost, too, of what it felt like to be young; but she has held onto it. In this track, the narrator (Betty) is looking back on her relationship with someone she once loved (James, as name-dropped in “betty” later on in the album). Her insight on his character was always spot on; she knew he’d try to kiss it better, change the ending, miss her once the thrill expired and come back, begging for her forgiveness in her front porch light. As soon as she was feeling forgotten, he made her feel wanted, his favorite. The ending in question is unclear, whether she granted him her forgiveness or not. But what is clear is Taylor’s understanding of the pull of young love, the intensity, the immortalization of all the smallest of details, the longing to be someone’s favorite. It’s why we look back on it so often, read stories and watch films about it, even as we grow old. It’s the cardigan we put back on when we want to be Peter Pan and remember what it was like to fly with Wendy. Best lyric: “You drew stars around my scars / but now I’m bleeding.”

3. the last great american dynasty The story of Rebekah Harkness and her destruction of the last great American dynasty, Standard Oil, is documented in this track, as each verse covers a different part of Rebekah’s life, going from a middle class divorcee to one of the wealthiest women in America by marrying into an empire. Swift paints Rebekah as an outcast, the Rhode Island town blaming her for her husband’s heart giving out. Rebekah used her inherited fortune on her ballet company, throwing lavish parties with her friends who went by the “Bitch Pack,” playing cards with Dali (Yes, as in Salvador Dali. It’s not clear if they actually played cards together, but her ashes were placed in an urn designed by him), and feuding with her neighbors. Then, fifty years later, Taylor Swift bought that very house and ruined the neighborhood all over again, bringing with her the triumphant return of champagne pool parties and women with madness, their men and bad habits. It’s a note on how women will be blamed for tarnishing what is sacred to men rather than celebrated, specifically when its related to wealth and power. They will call them mad, shameless, loud. But just like Rebekah, Taylor learned to pay them no mind, and just have a marvelous time. It is also interesting to note that Rebekah went by Betty. Perhaps Taylor felt inspired by and connected to her and gave her a whole backstory, and thus the birth of “the teenage love triangle,” or maybe it’s just a coincidence; but that’s the fun of it all. Either way, this track is a standout showcase of how Swift has truly mastered her craft as a songwriter. Best lyric: “Holiday House sat quietly on that beach / free of women with madness, their men and bad habits / and then it was bought by me.”

4. exile ft. Bon Iver You know that feeling when your parents are fighting and it’s upsetting you but you can’t help but listen? That’s kind of what listening to this song feels like. Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon co-wrote the track, and he lends his gorgeous vocals to play a man who has been exiled by his ex who has moved on with someone else while he desperately tries to understand where it all went wrong. The bridge is particularly poignant, both proclaiming, “you didn’t even hear me out,” while talking over each other. He thinks he was expected to read her mind, but she is adamant that she gave him plenty of warning signs. Miscommunication is one of the most common downfalls of a relationship, and the emotion in Swift’s and Vernon’s voices really draws you into the argument with them, transporting you back into your own exile from people you once called home. Best lyric: “I couldn’t turn things around / (You never turned things around) / ‘cause you never gave a warning sign / (I gave so many signs.)”

5. my tears ricochet Taylor describes this song in the foreword as “an embittered tormentor showing up to the funeral of his fallen object of obsession.” If you know enough, you can put the pieces together that the tormentor is Scott Borchetta, the head of Big Machine Records, and the funeral is of their professional and personal relationship. Taylor was the first artist ever signed to Big Machine. Borchetta and Swift had to trust each other in their partnership for it to be a success, and oh, how it was. But prior to Lover’s release, Taylor announced that she would be signing to Republic Records as her contract with Big Machine had ended and Republic offered her the opportunity to own all of her masters moving forward and negotiate on Spotify shares for all their artists. It all could have ended amicably there, but then Scott Borchetta sold all of Big Machine, along with Taylor’s masters from every album prior, to Scooter Braun. Braun manages some of the biggest stars out there, and had previously managed Kanye West. Taylor publicly spoke out about this purchase, stating that she was not made aware of this before the announcement, and how much of a betrayal it was considering she had cried to Scott before about Scooter’s mistreatment of her. Taylor has continued to be vocal about this, and so she sings, “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace.” There is a lot to unpack in this song, but the main takeaway is that this betrayal hurts him just as much if not more than it hurts her, because his career was built on her achievements. He buried her while decorated in her success, becoming what he swore he wouldn’t, erasing the good times for greed, all just to be haunted with regret for pushing her out and stealing her lullabies. The pain is palpable, and it is notable that this is song is placed at track 5, the spot generally reserved for the most vulnerable on the album; it shows that there are different types of heartbreak that can shatter you just as much as those from romance. Best lyric: “If I’m dead to you, why are you at the wake? / Cursing my name, wishing I stayed.”

6. mirrorball On Lover’s “The Archer,” Taylor expresses her anxiety over people seeing through her act, her own grief at seeing through it herself, wondering if her lover does and whether he would stay with her regardless. “mirrorball” is about the act, one of the more obviously confessional songs on the album. She talks about how a mirror ball can illuminate all the different versions of a person, while also reflecting the light to fit in with the scene. Taylor’s critical self-awareness is heart wrenching, and it’s clear that the anxiety that surrounds the public perception of her is still prevalent. She describes herself as a member of a circus, still on the tightrope and the trapeze even after everyone else has packed up and left, doing anything she can to keep the public’s attention. It hurts to hear the desperation in her voice, but there’s hope in the song, too. She is speaking to someone (we can assume her long-term boyfriend, Joe Alwyn) and thanking them for not being like “the regulars, the masquerade revelers drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.” In 2016, the height of Taylor’s fame and subsequently her farthest fall from grace, all the people who pretended to be her friends and attended all her parties celebrated her (temporary) demise, continuing to dance over her broken pieces on the floor. But he stayed by her side as she put herself back together. And so now, when no one is around, she’ll shine just for him, standing even taller than she does for the circus. Best lyric: “I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why / I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try / I’m still on that trapeze, I’m still trying everything / to keep you looking at me.”

7. seven Her voice gentle and haunting, Taylor recalls the freedom and innocence of her childhood in Pennsylvania. She asks to be remembered for how she was, swinging over the creek, before she learned civility when she would scream anytime she wanted, then letting out a very pretty one. She sings to her old friend soothingly about taking them away from their haunted house that their father is always shouting in, where they feel the need to hide in a closet, perhaps literally, or figuratively, or both. They can move into Taylor’s house instead, or maybe just to India, just be sure to pack their dolls and a sweater and then they’ll hit the road. She can no longer recall her friend’s face, but the love she had for them still lives in her heart, and she wants it to live forever through story. Just in the way that folklore itself blends reality and fiction, but the truth within it passes on, so will the purity of that love and friendship. Best lyric: “Please picture me in the weeds / before I learned civility / I used to scream ferociously / any time I wanted.”

8. august (teenage love triangle, part 2: the other girl’s perspective) If you had to assign the feeling of longing to a song, it’d be “august.” It’s when you’re teetering at the edge with someone, unsure of where you stand with them, clinging to anything they give you and doing anything just to raise your chances, “living for the hope of it all.” August, the last month of summer, its heat causing it to slip away the fastest in a haze before reality hits. This track is a display of how sometimes losing something you never had causes an even deeper ache than losing something that was yours, and Jack Antonoff’s signature production intensifies the emotion even more. It’s the story of shattered hope, and the longing for the days where it could still fuel you. Best lyric: “To live for the hope of it all / cancel plans just in case you’d call.”

9. this is me trying “this is me trying” is like a drive through a tunnel at night, hearing your loudest anxieties and insecurities echo all around you, caving in. The track is another apt insight into Swift’s struggles with her self-image, with the pressure she puts on herself, so much so that she sometimes pushes herself too close to the edge, her fears luring her out of the tunnel and down, down, down into her own cage, stunting her own growth and keeping those who care out of reach. She tells us how she was “so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere.” Every action has an equal, opposite reaction, meaning that she was pushing herself so hard, she rolled back to where she started, and now has to reset. This could be referring to the period between the end of the 1989 era and the release of reputation (2017), or a different time in her life, or just a general sentiment. It doesn’t really matter, though, because no one’s growth is a neat, straight line; growth is jagged. Just like any of us, Taylor will always have to face new obstacles, new pitfalls, new reasons to get back up. She sounds most vulnerable as she cries, “at least I’m trying,” and you feel comforted knowing someone so beautiful and successful has to push herself to try, too, and yet that motivates you more to try yourself. Best lyric: “They told me all of my cages were mental / so I got wasted, like all my potential.”

10. illicit affairs A quiet, slow-build testament of the passion, the tragedy, the secrecy, the inimitability of a romance that shouldn’t exist, “illicit affairs” demonstrates how you can ruin yourself for someone from just one moment of possibility or truth, quite like the narrator of “august” does for the hope of it all. An illicit affair can be many different things: infidelity, forbidden love, a love that can never be fully realized, a relationship that is inherently wrong but electrifying all the same. It’s a reminder of what so many of us would do just to see new colors, to learn a new language, even if the one moment of enlightenment destroys us forever. We might lose the iridescent glow but we don’t forget it; we carry it with us, but must be careful to remember its blinding effect, to remember how fatal the fall is from the dwindling, mercurial high. Best lyric: “Tell your friends you’re out for a run / you’ll be flushed when you return.”

11. invisible string Clearly the most outright autobiographical track, “invisible string” is the plucky pick-me-up needed. The song is like sunshine, as Swift endearingly links all the little connections between her and her boyfriend, Joe Alwyn, since before they even met. She compares the green grass at the Nashville park she’d sit at in hopes of a meet-cute to the teal of his yogurt shop uniform shirt, and gives a nod to her smash hit “Bad Blood” from 1989 with the delightful line “bad was the blood of the song in the cab on your first trip to LA.” She reasons these coincidences as a fateful, invisible, golden string tying them together since the beginning, always destined to meet at the knot in the middle. She thanks time for healing her, (a callback to “Fifteen” from Fearless [2008]), fighting through hell to make it to heaven, transforming her from an axe grinder to a gift giver for her ex’s baby (the ex in question, Joe Jonas, and his wife Sophie Turner, happened to have their first daughter two days before this album’s release). As she has on her previous two albums, she uses the color gold to illustrate how prized their love is to one another. It’s sweet to know in all the gloom that the string has not been severed, and the trees are still golden somewhere. Best lyric: “Cold was the steel of my axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart / now I send their babies presents.”

12. mad woman Throughout her entire career, Taylor Swift has defiantly defended female rage, all the way back from throwing a chair off a platform on her Fearless Tour during the impassioned “Forever & Always,” to her patient, vengeful reliance on karma in reputation’s lead single, “Look What You Made Me Do,” to her most recent tackling of the matter on Lover’s last and final single, “The Man,” where she explores society’s acceptance and encouragement of angry men yet disdain for angry women. “The Man” is catchy and upbeat, and a fun thought experiment into how Swift’s career would be perceived if she was a man, something that is even more interesting to think about now as she releases an album in a genre heavily dominated and lauded by males. But on “mad woman,” she further explores the creation and perception of female rage, though masked under a smooth, haunting piano melody, her vocals subdued, taunting. In the album foreword, she describes the inspiration behind this song as “a misfit widow getting gleeful revenge on the town that cast her out.” This could be the continuation of Rebekah “Betty” Harkness’s story at her Holiday House in Watch Hill, RI, and how she further alienated herself from the rest of the neighborhood as they cast stones at her for the collapse of the last great American dynasty. (Or perhaps Daenerys Targaryen’s descent as the Mad Queen played a part in the song’s inspiration, as Swift has spoken of her love for Game of Thrones and her character specifically.) Taylor herself could also represent the widow, her music and masters as her love lost, and the men behind the crime as the “town that cast her out.” In the first verse she sings, “What do you sing on your drive home? / Do you see my face in the neighbor’s lawn? / Does she smile, or does she mouth ‘fuck you forever’?” It’s the first f-bomb of Taylor’s career (though a much more playful one will come two tracks later in “betty”) and it speaks volume. Taylor has received a lot of condemnation for expressing her anger at their transaction, for calling out their greed for what it is. Some view Swift’s stance on the ordeal as petty and trivial; they see the men as orchestrating a good business deal, and Swift as the girl throwing a tantrum. Ask any woman, and they can tell you about a time a man told them they were crazy for being justifiably angry; it only makes us angrier. “No one likes a mad woman,” Taylor states, “You made her like that.” Swift underscores that here, how they will poke and poke the bear but then blame it for attacking, as if they had never provoked it at all, and how dare it defend itself. Just as they blamed Rebekah for her husband’s heart giving out, they somehow manage to blame Swift for not being allowed to purchase the rights to her own work. And yes, she’s mad, but the song is measured and controlled; she’s used to her anger now, and knows just how to wield it. Best lyric: “Women like hunting witches, too / doing your dirtiest work for you / It’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together.”

13. epiphany This is another track Swift provided some background on, stating it was inspired by her “grandfather, Dean, landing at Guadalcanal in 1942” during WWII. The first verse paints this image, while the second verse depicts a different kind of war, happening right now, fought by doctors and nurses. She speaks of holding hands through plastic, and the escape folklore has granted you suddenly lifts. Watching someone’s daughter, or mother, or anyone suffer at the hands of the COVID-19 pandemic, just as watching a soldier bleed out, helpless, is too much to speak about. As she points out, they don’t teach you about that vicarious trauma in med school. We are living in a tireless world with barely any time time to rest our eyes, but too much going on while we’re awake to make sense of any of it. “epiphany” is a cinematic prayer, pleading for some quiet in order to find an answer in all the noise. We’re still waiting for that glimpse of relief. Best lyric: “Only twenty minutes to sleep / but you dream of some epiphany / Just one single glimpse of relief / to make some sense of what you’ve seen.”

14. betty (teenage love triangle, part 3: james’s perspective) It makes sense that a song reminiscent of Fearless would exemplify some of the best story-telling on folklore. The final puzzle piece of the teen love triangle, “betty” is a song sung by Swift from the perspective of the character of her own creation, James, attempting to win back his true love, Betty, who he slighted in some way. He proclaims that the worst thing he ever did is what he did to her, without explicitly stating it. Though the infamous deed is unclear, here’s the information we collect from this song: James saw Betty dancing with another boy at a school dance, one day when he was walking home another girl (from “august”) picked him up and he ended up spending his summer with her yet still loved Betty, and though he ended things with his fling and wanted to reconcile with Betty, he had returned to school to see she switched her homeroom (James assumes, after saying he won’t make assumptions. Classic men). So in order to make it up to her, he shows up at her party with the risk of being told to go fuck himself (the second and charming “fuck” on the album! Which is repeated!). Upon his arrival, there is a glorious key change (ala “Love Story”) and all the pieces fall into place for the listener; we realize Betty is the girl singing in “cardigan” as he lists the things he misses about her since the thrill expired, like the way she looks standing in her cardigan, and kissing in his car. He’s 17 and doesn’t know anything, but she knew everything when she was young, and she knew he’d come back. The way I see their story conclude is that she led him to the garden and trusted him, but as they grew older they grew apart, but the love she had for him never faded completely. Listening to this song is like being back in high school, whether you were the person who did someone wrong or the person so willing to forgive in the name of young love, or Inez, the school gossip, you’re right there with them. The other great thing about this song is that it is sung to a girl, and though it is set up so we understand it is most likely from a boy’s perspective, it doesn’t have to be. It’s really great that girls in the LGBTQ community can have a song in Taylor’s voice to fully connect to without changing the pronouns or names (even James, which is unisex and is one of the names of the daughters of Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, Taylor’s close friends, mentioned in this song). That is the beauty of folklore: the infinite ways a story can be told, perceived, retold from a different perspective, and told again. Maybe you’ll hear it from Inez. Best lyric: “But if I just showed up at your party / would you have me? Would you want me? / Would you tell me to go fuck myself, or lead me to the garden?”

15. peace One of the most beautifully solemn songs of her career, “peace” echoes the same fears explored in “Dancing With Our Hands Tied” from reputation; will the person she loves be able to weather the ever-present storm that comes with the life of a superstar, but also dwells within herself? Will holding him as the water rushes in be enough? Will giving him her wild, a child, her sunshine, her best, be a fair consolation? Presumably another confessional track and about Alwyn, Swift puts him up on a pedestal, praising his integrity and his dare to dream. She proclaims that she would die for him in secret, just as she told him she’d be on her tallest tip toes, spinning in her highest heels, shining just for him in “mirrorball.” She highlights some of the greatest gifts of love, such as comfortable silence and chosen family. She knows what they have is special, but she also knows the value of peace, the ultimate nirvana, and does not want to deprive him of that. It is so deeply relatable- to me, at least- to feel like you can give someone so much of yourself but know it still may never be enough, and to fear either losing them or robbing them of something better. But looking at what they have together, maybe peace is overrated. Or maybe, she’s looking for peace in the wrong places. The calm is in the eye of the storm, and sometimes, there’s nothing more freeing than throwing away the umbrella and soaking in the rain. Best lyric: “I never had the courage of my convictions / as long as danger is near / and it’s just around the corner, darling / ‘cause it lives in me / no, I could never give you peace.”

16. hoax The truest enigma of the album, the closer, “hoax” is a devastatingly dark ballad about the uncertainty, or perhaps incredulity, of someone’s love for you, a love that is your lifeline. The lyrics are ambiguous, which gives way to a plethora of interpretations. Perhaps she is speaking about a hypothetical situation that has yet to happen (and hopefully doesn’t) in which someone she loves and trusts betrays her. Maybe she is talking about a relationship, real (hopefully not) or fictional, in which despite the torment it brings her she holds onto it for dear life. I’m most inclined to believe that the song represents her difficulty in accepting that someone is willing to love her through such dark periods, that their love must actually be a hoax, but she chooses to believe in it anyway and uses it as the motivation to rebuild her kingdom, to rise from the ashes on her barren land. And even through the downs that come at some point in every relationship, she can still see the beauty in it all. Yes, their love is golden, but waves of blue will crash down around any partnership, because life does not exist without them. So even when things are as blue as can be, she’s at least grateful it’s with him. Best lyric: “Don’t want no other shade of blue but you / no other sadness in the world would do.”

Although we still have yet to hear the deluxe track, “the lakes,” as a fan of Taylor for almost 12 years, it feels so obvious that this is her strongest work yet. The storytelling I fell in love with on Fearless as a teenager (which, much like folklore, was highly inspired by imaginary situations and real emotions) is even sharper now as we have both grown into adults. The music on this album might not be everyone’s speed, and that’s okay. But it allowed Taylor to dip back into what made Fearless such a success: using pieces of her own truth and the whims of her imagination to develop a multi-faceted narrative that becomes universal. During her Tiny Desk concert, before performing “Death By A Thousand Cuts” from Lover, Swift explained the anxiety she felt around the possibility of stunted creativity when people would ask her what she would write about once she was happy. Taylor has released an abundance of beautiful, fun, complex love songs since the start of her relationship almost four years ago now. But “Death By A Thousand Cuts,” which is a fan favorite, helped her prove to herself that she can still write a killer breakup song while being in a happy, fulfilling relationship; the song was the last track written for Lover and was inspired by the film Something Great on Netflix. And so it makes perfect sense that Taylor used folklore to continue exploring this new avenue for songwriting. All of her discography and all of her life experiences have culminated to the folklore moment: as all the best artists do, she will never stop finding inspiration in hidden corners of this dark, mystical, wondrous universe, and falling in love with new ways to share those wonders. And that love will be passed on.

DISCLAIMER - REVIEWER’S BIAS: I love Taylor Swift more than any person in my life, yes including my parents, they are aware and have accepted this fact long ago ❤️

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high-five-of-teenager-trashblog · 3 years

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Discography Discussion: We Hate All Kinds of Violence

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you probably know quite a bit about H.O.T. I assume you have a favorite member. I bet you’ve heard tracks like “I-Yah” and “Hope”. But I haven’t really discussed the start of H.O.T in depth, nor the discography of their first album. After making you wait so long, let’s talk about how this influential group began.

Before H.O.T

In order to understand why H.O.T was created, we’ve got to understand Korean history.

(Note: As this blog is about one group and the point of this post is to talk about one album, I am leaving out a lot of notable events and people to give you a basic summary of what led to H.O.T.)

Up until 1988, South Korea had been constantly under oppressive political regimes. This oppression extended to music, which limited who could sing and what songs would be allowed to the masses. 1988 is a very important year in Korean history because that was when the country opened itself to the world and hosted the 1988 Seoul Olympics in Jamsil, Seoul. Through various political, economic, and technological changes, Korea was gradually transforming into what it is now. However, music was still largely either patriotic tunes or shallow love songs.

You know what came next. In the spring of 1992 Seo Taiji and Boys debuted. They had mass appeal among young people in Korea because they made music directed to people in Korea that was about their problems. Even though there was management involved with the group, it was entirely under the control of Seo Taiji - not some executive who dictated what the group could say and do. Also, they were not the first group in Korea to use rock music or rap, but the way Seo Taiji combined different genres and styles was very different - and very appealing. Bland dance and pop music produced by large broadcasting companies weren’t going to cut it anymore.

Generally speaking, whenever there is some kind of innovation, businesses and investors crop up looking to make a profit. The Korean music industry is no different. The rise of Seo Taiji and Boys created this essential question: Could a company recreate Seo Taiji and Boys?

The answer came in 1996.

H.O.T Pre-Debut

Before SM Entertainment, there was SM Studio. It was Lee Sooman’s first serious venture into starting a music company. In 1990, Hyun Jinyoung debuted as the first artist in the company and led to the start of several careers. Lee Sooman eventually signed on other artists, such as Yoo Youngjin in 1993.

However, Lee Sooman had seen the Japanese system of training idols and wanted to adapt that for Korea. Some things came out of this and became standardized in K-Pop (to some extent), such as idols of the same group living together and going through training for a period of time. This also changed how artists were managed and signed on. It went from being like MGM during Hollywood’s Golden Age to the “factory” idea we know now.

The first idols (and lab rats) for this were H.O.T. Kangta was the first to be recruited for his voice when Lee Sooman heard him sing at Lotte World. Heejun was asked to audition due to his ability to dance, sing, and write music. Woohyuk passed his audition as he was also a talented dancing. Jaewon’s recruitment isn’t well-known other than that he gained points for his visual appeal, however, sometimes people make claims that he was previously friends with Heejun and yet aren’t able to provide credible sources (at least that I’m aware of). Tony, however, auditioned with his friend Andy in LA and was voted in by the other four members. Lee Sooman has said that Tony didn’t have much going for him, but he recruited him because he thought the teenager would work hard. Together, these five were everything the public wanted.

Before H.O.T debuted, they were seen in public. Heejun and Kangta were dancers for Yoo Youngjin, and Jaewon and Woohyuk joined them later (I’m not sure if Tony did, however, considering how late he joined). The group even performed their debut song at a festival at Heejun’s high school. They were generating hype and ready to begin.

The We Hate All Kinds of Violence Album

H.O.T debuted on Sept. 7th, 1996. Their first album was called We Hate All Kinds of Violence. The cover art shows a person sitting on a step with their head in their arms in a way that usually denotes sadness or despair while wearing uniform with a hat that says “Workers”. The combination of group name, album title, and album artwork set the tone of the album at a glance as being geared towards teenagers. This was a smart move on SM’s part. Seo Taiji and Boys had disbanded earlier that year, so there was a void in the music industry that needed to be filled, and H.O.T seemed to fit the bill for a lot of young people in Korea.

Warrior’s Descendant

Their debut track was “Warrior’s Descendant”. Just hearing that title tends to interest people even before they hear the actual song. It gives off the impression that the song is about someone who has a fighting spirit like their ancestors, even if they themselves aren’t soldiers.

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Lyrics (DISCLAIMER FOR THIS SECTION: TW: BULLYING)

The lyrics themselves are about bullying. The opening words are, “Ah~ Why are you hitting me?” (Lyrics Source) From there the lyrics are presented as though by the victim themselves asking why they’re being beaten up. Parts of the song seem to indicate that this isn’t a one-off thing, it’s something that’s been going on for a long time:

You changed me without a guilt You hit me Once we were friends You ruined me

I was beaten like a stupid idiot I lost everything and was roaming around Now with sounds of punch, steal and breaths My heart was torn already because of my lost friends

However, this person seems to believe that someone will save them and that this won’t go on forever.

It's time to stop, The violence, hate, and all the mess, It's about time someone should stand for what is right, That is right

Now I want my future that I've been dreaming of I think of everything can be back as it was before I trusted you I trust you once more Save me Someone someone can

Unfortunately, the song ends with the realization that no one is going save them. That someone can save them, but no one does.

Someone someone can,someone someone can, That I know it, That I know it, That I know it, Can Can That I know it, Someone someone someone someone someone can, someone can, someone can, someone can can can can can, But I know it won't happen, Now I give up everything; I have because of you. They ruined me, They took it all even my last hope You became my enemy and now I give you up They ruined me, They took it all even my last hope. I look for the hope; It's nowhere Now I'm gonna punish myself.....

The worst part of this is that the victim seems to be blaming themselves. They seem to think that they were at fault so they are going to give up. The last line itself, “Now I’m gonna punish myself” is especially troubling.

While you might have been hoping there would be a happy ending, this song wasn’t meant to have one. For a debut song that was supposed to target teenagers, this was a perfect introduction. Bullying is common everywhere, but it’s especially bad in Korea. If you’ve been a fan of K-Pop or K-Dramas for a while, you’ve probably heard a lot about this.

I think the reason why the song ends on a hopeless tone is because the song verbalized what a lot of kids and teenagers in that position probably feel like. Considering how many people follow this blog, I assume that at least one person reading this has been (or is currently being) bullied, so these words probably resonate with you.

And that is the point of “Warrior’s Descendant”, as it targets two groups of people. The first group of people are the ones being bullied, as it tells their point of view. The second group are the bystanders, as it calls them out for not doing anything about it. It calls for these two groups of people to look at each other and see that this isn’t just something that happens, bullying is a choice. The point of the lyrics is to tell people who are bullied that what they’re going through isn’t right, and to tell people to stop being a bystander and do something. This song was a call to action.

Also, the beginning of this song tends to get used in variety shows. However, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it used to match up with the context of the lyrics. Next time you hear this song somewhere, you might want to take note of the feeling the song brings to the situation it’s used for.

(End of bullying discussion)

This was actually the first song Yoo Youngjin produced, and led to his long and successful career with composing and producing music at SM Entertainment.

The MV

The music video itself shows a story between cutting to H.O.T singing and dancing. The MV opens with a teenage boy looking up while bloody, then cuts to people walking away from him - great hook. It quickly cuts to the night before when the guy was walking with a girl while carrying his violin case. Three guys around his age come and beat him up, and then go after the girl. When the guy sees the girl being targeted, he gets up to fight them off of her and she tries to defend him as well. It ends with the teenager bloody in the daylight with his broken violin. Maybe it’s just me reading into things, but it looks like the guy got beat up in the alley and then possibly got dragged to a school due to the building in the background.

It also has a very 90s style to it. Their outfits were purchased by the members themselves - I don’t know if SM had a stylist who told them what to get or if they were just given free reign, but they did have to pay for them. In addition to the outfits, there were some hallmarks of the time period in the music video, such as graffiti, which was a very popular aesthetic in the 90s and can also be seen in Turbo’s “Black Cat” MV.

Also, even though I haven’t heard anyone else agree with me on this, I personally feel like “Warrior’s Descendant” sounds like “Come Back Home” by Seo Taiji and Boys due to the vocals, instrumental, and tone. Considering that H.O.T was largely created as a response to Seo Taiji and Boys, I think it’s quite possible that recalling the other group was intentional.

However, “Warrior’s Descendant” is simultaneously where Seo Taiji and Boys ends and H.O.T begins.

Candy

Does this song really need an introduction? Probably not, so I’m just going to jump into it. This is H.O.T’s most well-known song and is beloved by many people even years later. It was also their golden ticket and get-out-of-jail-free card throughout their time promoting together.

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This music video is iconic for so many reasons.

First up, the location is perfect for such a bright song. It was filmed at Lotte World in Jamsil, Seoul.

Now, you might be thinking to yourself, “Jamsil? I’ve heard of that place before” and you would be correct! That’s where the 1988 Seoul Olympic Games took place, and it’s also a huge part of H.O.T’s history. They had their 918 concert there in 1999, their last concert there in 2001, and their reunion concerts have been there because of the 2001 concert as well.

As for Lotte World itself, it’s one of the major theme parks in South Korea. H.O.T filmed in front of the famous merry-go-round and various other sites around the park. Fun fact: this is also where the drama “Stairway to Heaven” was filmed at.

When I was in Korea, I visited Jamsil quite a few times and it was one of my favorite places. You have no idea how excited I was when I went to the Olympic Park and saw the stadium in person. I also got the chance to visit Lotte World and ride on the merry-go-round, as well as walk on the outdoor bridge they danced on. If you’re an H.O.T fan, I highly recommend going there.

Choreography

The dance for this song is very iconic because it’s bouncy and fun. When I say bouncy, I mean that literally considering as Heejun’s favorite dance move involves him bouncing on the ground.

Trademark Colors

If you’ve been a fan of K-Pop for a while, you probably know that a lot of groups have their own color. The first group that had an official fan color (to my knowledge) was Seo Taiji and Boys, and their color was yellow. However, colors became more of a big deal for K-Pop groups because of H.O.T.

H.O.T’s official color is white, which is why you tend to see them wear white suits and their light stick is white. However, they also have an official color for each member. Heejun is yellow, Woohyuk is blue, Tony is red, Kangta is green, and Jaewon is orange. If you see merch of the group, you’ll often see these colors being heavily associated with each member, and you’ll often see fans cheering with their individual color as well as white.

These colors helped the public to easily identify who was who when they were rookies.

They also had different accessories. Woohyuk had his floppy hat with eyeballs attached to it - that can be seen on that light stick he teased. Kangta had a bag. Tony had a hat. Jaewon had earmuffs - which was a win because it was getting to be cold when this track was released. Heejun, however, had a visor which he hated due to it not keeping him warm in the winter, nor cool in the summer. Their fluffy outfits also endeared them to the public because of how cute they were.

Lyrics

So now that we’ve talked about all the visuals, let’s talk about what “Candy” itself is about. First off, the lyrics to this song are so painfully 90s and cheesy. The story is this: a guy plans on going on break (or breaking up) with his girlfriend because he realizes he’s not the best boyfriend and their relationship isn’t doing great. He literally decides that suddenly when he wakes up in the morning - you can’t make this up.

To be honest with you I want to see you today to talk about us to tell you that I need some space Please understand me I’m telling you that it was a difficult decision Actually, I thought of it this morning

He admits that it’s something he needs to work on and says:

I will need to change myself Without your knowing it I’ve compared you to other girls

There’s a part of the lyrics that are very angsty and dramatic.

When I dream about us each time the dream would vanish and I am left by myself Crying so pathetic stuck in this position I decided I’m leaving you! I’m leaving you! Although I still love you I will leave I will forget and stop loving you As I look to the sky above me I told myself I must keep my heart cold towards you

However, he eventually realizes that even though their relationship needs work, he loves her and actually doesn’t want to be apart from her.

I love only you I said this to you All that I had prepared to say turned backwards I’ll always be by your side

It finishes up with Kangta saying this:

I’ll always be by your side You’ll never be alone again I’m here next to you

The conclusion the songs comes to is this: There can be problems with your relationship, but if you really love them and want to stay with them, you need to communicate and work on making your relationship better.

Also, don’t make huge decisions rashly - I think that should be the big takeaway from this.

Like “Warrior’s Descendant”, this song is also used on variety shows quite a bit. I’ve even heard it called, “The Perfect Song for Valentine’s Day”. Considering the context of this song is essentially about a breakup (until the end), I have my doubts when it’s used on broadcasts that are trying to hype up a love line.

(Lyrics Source)

The Candy Consequence

Earlier I mentioned that “Candy” was their golden ticket. Now that you understand the song itself, let’s talk about why it is that way.

“Warrior’s Descendant” was very serious and geared towards teenagers. “Candy”, however, took their popularity and gave H.O.T a family-friendly reputation. It was the perfect combination of cute guys, a sweet song, and iconic visuals that helped the general public to differentiate them from other groups at the time.

While Seo Taiji and Boys were massively popular with Korea’s youth, they were often thought of as being rebellious, especially since they famously criticized various aspects of Korea - such as the education system.

If you’ve read my other Discography Discussions, you’re well-aware of what H.O.T has done over the years. However, unlike Seo Taiji and Boys, they weren’t as censored or thought of as being nearly as problematic. Why? Look no further than “Candy”.

The popularity “Candy” has is two-sided. On one side, it’s annoying because people (especially newer or international fans) tend to associate them with it, instead of the rest of their discography. On the other side, because people associate them with it first, they tend to be more forgiving (and ignorant >.>) whenever H.O.T released tracks that were full of profanity or violence.

While “Candy” is quite different from most of their other popular tracks, it was the one that allowed H.O.T to rise to heights no one had been expecting.

Other Tracks of Interest

You’re Fast, I’m Slow - This tends to be one of those songs that H.O.T fans know because it gets used in compilations and as background music. The lyrics themselves are about a girl hitting on a guy and trying to make their relationship go at a faster pace than what he’s ready for. He’s asking her to slow down so that they can have a good relationship. They’re just friends, but the girl clearly wants to be more.

A day or two has passed and you've changed too much You kept catching me off guard with your "non-PG" questions You teased me, saying that I didn't have any courage and I was such a boring guy

And before y’all ask, yes, he’s into her. Warning: Explicit

But you don't know my heart I want all of you Don't rush it too much I want to show you my heart slowly

I want to have you, Something that I've deeply wanted If you give me another chance, I'll take you tonight

I'll make you feel real good Even make you groan & moan like I know you should

Remember how I said “Candy” allowed them to get away with more explicit stuff? “You’re Fast, I’m Slow” is Exhibit A. Yoo Youngjin is too obvious sometimes.

(Lyric Source)

Your Image in the Sunset - This is basically your standard breakup song. I’m just pointing it out because I love the instrumental and how this song sounds, tbh. It really gives off a 90s feeling.

Another Stressful Day - This song is about a guy who has a hangover and has to get to work. The kicker is that the members were too young to legally drink when this came out. Considering that the guy on the cover is wearing a work uniform, it is possible that true context of the image is that he is hungover, not upset due to some violent circumstance.

The Age of Individual Characteristic - This song has a great message about self love and not judging people by their appearances alone.

just because you think you're ugly, don’t just sit at home staring into a mirror, accept a new change - find a unique characteristic about yourself..

please, don’t let love follow changing fashion.. don’t let it change.. a male wearing tight short shorts with long hair and a female wearing torn long jeans with a 'sports cut' hair.. lets help each others individual characteristics prevail..

(Lyrics Source)

About Women - This is the final track on the album. It’s basically H.O.T saying that they don’t understand women, but they respect them. It starts out with talking about stereotypes men have for women, and then goes into arguing about it. However, these are the parting words H.O.T concludes the track and the album with:

Women sometimes make our lives hard and confusing, but we have to remember they're not toys, They're not toys but real deep beings...

(Lyrics Source)

Conclusion

We Hate All Kinds of Violence was an excellent start for H.O.T’s career and a new era of Korean music. It was an album for teenagers by teenagers. Although a lot of their work has been forgotten over the years, it is certainly an important artifact that waits to be discovered by those it speaks to.

Where to listen to the album: iTunes Spotify

#h.o.t #high-five of teenager #kpop #k-pop #old kpop #Moon Heejun #kangta #Jang Woohyuk #lee jaewon #tony ahn #tw: bullying

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romancandlemagazine · 3 years

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An Interview with Al Baker

I first came across Al Baker’s photography whilst looking through an old copy of a magazine called Flux I’d snaffled from Manchester’s world-famous second-hand wonderland, Empire Exchange.

Hidden in the magazine’s pages, between an interview with Mark E Smith and a review of a newly-released sci-fi film called The Matrix, were two black-and-white photos, snapped from the window of an ice-cream van, showing kids lined up for a bit of frozen respite from the summer heat. Reading the fairly minimal bit of text below, it turned out the photos were part of a series called ‘Ice Cream You Scream’.

I’d missed the exhibition by approximately 20 years, but thanks to the high-speed time-machine known as the internet, I managed to track him down. Here’s an interview about his fine photos, his time living in Hulme Crescents and the benefits of carrying cameras in a Kwik Save bag...

Classic ‘start of an interview’ question here, but when did you get into photography? Was there something in particular that set you off?

Like a lot of young people, I knew that I was creative but hadn’t quite found my place. I didn’t know whether I wanted to be a writer or in a band. I used to doodle, copy Picasso’s in biro, so off I went to art college and tried my hand at different things. All it really taught me was that I had neither the patience, technique or talent to become a painter. Photography seemed a much easier way to make images, a more instant result. Of course, the more you get into it you realise that whether you’re any good or not does rely upon patience, technique and talent after all.

Was ‘being a photographer’ something that people did in Manchester in the early 90s? Who did you look up to back then?

Not really. It was very rare to see another person wandering around with a camera back then. Even years later when I began photographing the club scene in Manchester no-one else seemed to be doing the same thing. Not at the night clubs I went to anyway.

Now it’s very different. These days you see people with cameras everywhere. Club nights almost always have a photographer. People are far more image-conscious due to social media. Today most people are busy documenting their own nights out with their phones. Look at footage from any major gig these days and half the room is filming it. Back in the 90s no-one seemed to care about documenting anything like that. You were very unlikely to see the photos that someone might be taking the next day or, in fact, ever. People often used to ask ‘What are you taking photos for?’ with genuine surprise or distain.

In terms of photographers whom I looked up to there are so many! There are great image masters like Cartier-Bresson or Elliott Erwitt. Photographers of war and social upheaval like Don McCullin and Phillip Jones-Griffiths. I liked Alexander Rodchenko and Andre Kertez, how they broke the conventions of their day with wit and invention.

I loved the dark and dirty images of Bill Brandt, and his inspiring nude studies too. I loved the city at night recorded by Brassai. Paris in the 1930s definitely seemed to be the place to be. Diane Arbus, Jane Bown and Shirley Baker. American street photographer Gary Winogrand was a huge influence on me, as was Nick Waplington’s book ‘Living Room’.

I was also quite lucky to be living in Manchester at that time. Daniel Meadows and Martin Parr had both attended Manchester Polytechnic. Denis Thorpe had worked for the Guardian in Manchester. I saw Kevin Cummins iconic Joy Division images, Ian Tilton documenting The Stone Roses. Both were regularly in among the inky pages of the NME.

I also saw an exhibition of Clement Cooper’s photographs of the Robin Hood pub in Moss Side, which was another big influence. I was also very lucky in that my very first photography tutor was Mark Warner, who produced very beautiful images, did a lot of work for Factory Records. He shot The Durutti Column’s (1989) Vini Reilly album sleeve. He was probably the first person who ever really encouraged me.

I really like that series of photos you took from inside an ice-cream van in the late 90s. What was the story behind that?

The initial idea for that project came from my friend Steve Hillman, who is an actor. At the time he was ‘between jobs’, which is an actor’s euphemism for being unemployed, so he was working an ice-cream round to help to pay the rent. I was at his flat one night, thinking aloud about where I might go next with my camera. I’d spent quite a long time following graffiti artists work around Hulme, and had my first exhibition based around that. But it only seemed to lead to offers of more work with graffiti artists, and I wanted to do something else.

I’d done a 2nd exhibition based around portraits of my friends in Hulme. I’d flirted with some one-day projects, like Belle Vue dog track, Speakers Corner in Hyde Park. Anyway, while I was talking, not really knowing what I was going to do next, Steve simply stated ‘You should come out on the ice-cream round with me. No-one ever comes to the van without a smile on their face.’ And it just struck me as a beautiful & simple idea. So, one day we just set off. 4 or 5 rolls of film and all the free ice-cream I could eat, which I discovered wasn’t very much!

What was the logistical side of those photos? Were they taken from the same van?

They were all shot on the same day, the same van, all around Salford. It was good fun, but actually very hard work. Trying to constantly find new angles, different framing and working on a hot August day in such a small confined space. By the end of the day I felt that I had enough strong images for my next exhibition. They were much jollier images than ones I’d made before. As a result, because it had more universal appeal, I got quite a lot of good publicity out of it, and Walls gave us hundreds of free Magnum ice-creams to give away on the opening night!

These days I could think of more than a few reasons why you probably shouldn’t drive around Salford photographing other people’s children without permission haha (in fact, I’m surprised that I wasn’t hung from the nearest lamppost!) but I was much younger and far more naive back then. Besides, that was something that I’d learned from living in Hulme. You don’t ask for permission. Someone will only say ‘No’. Just crack on and do it anyway.

You also documented the last years of the Hulme Crescents. A lot of people talk about that time and place in Manchester, even now—but what was the reality of it? What was a normal weekend there like?

It was quite unlike anywhere that I’d ever lived before. It looked like a fascist dystopian nightmare, only one peopled by Rastas and anarchists. Bleak concrete interconnecting walkways. No through roads whatsoever. A fortress feel to the place. The entire estate was earmarked for demolition before I arrived. Everyone else seemed to be busy moving out. But I was already spending a lot of time there, post-Hacienda, parties, friends, lost weekends.

There were lots of young people living there. Families had mainly moved out as the heating didn’t work properly, flats were cold & damp, often infested with cockroaches. There were traces of old Irish families, the Windrush generation, interwoven with punks and drop-outs.

There was a cultural & artistic flowering among the ruins. A Certain Ratio, Dub Sex, A Guy Called Gerald, Edward Barton, Ian Brown, Dave Haslam, Mick Hucknall, Lemn Sissay, all lived there at one time. It was the original home of Factory, where all the post-punk bands played. In turn that led to Factory Records, New Order, and the Hacienda. The PSV club later hosted raves and notorious Jungle nights. It was a good time to be young.

You lived there as well as shooting it. Do you think it’s important to be a part of the thing you’re photographing, rather than just an outsider with a camera?

I don’t know that it’s important to be a part of the thing you’re photographing, ‘embedded’ is what the war photographers call it, but you definitely capture different images. Certain things that might have been shocking to an outsider were commonplace, normal & every day to me. Boring even. On the other hand, I was much less likely to be robbed walking around. That meant I could take my camera places that other people couldn’t, or maybe shouldn’t!

I used to wear my camera beneath my coat so it couldn’t be seen, and I carried my film and lenses in a Kwik Save shopping bag so as not to attract unwanted attention. I got into the habit of handing that bag over the bar at the pubs I went in. I would collect it the next day if I could remember where I’d been the night before. Bless you, saintly barmaids of old Hulme.

If you look at my images of Hulme people they’re usually reacting to me and not the camera. Either that or they’re not reacting at all. They’re ignoring the fact that I’m taking a picture. That’s what gives them that ‘fly-on-the-wall’ feeling.

This is something that I put to greater effect later when I was photographing in night clubs, skulking stage side or hiding in a DJ booth. When DJs & MCs see you week in week out at the club doing the same thing they stop posing for the camera and just get used to you being there. You become part of the furniture. And when people stop being conscious of the camera, when they ignore that you’re even present, you can step in much closer. Put simply, you get better pictures. They’re much less performative and far more honest. It’s not often people can say they like it when they’re being ignored, but for photographers it’s a gift.

Do you think somewhere the Crescents could exist now, or was it just a case of the perfect accidental recipe for that kind of creative, DIY activity?

No, I don’t think anywhere like Hulme will ever happen again. I think the city council learned that lesson a long time ago. It was a dystopian utopia for us, but it grew out of failure. When I 1st went to university they warned us never to set foot there. I said, ‘But what if you live there already?’ and there was an embarrassed silence. They really hadn’t expected a poor boy from Hulme to be in the room. Now they own half of it and it’s all student Halls of Residence.

The city centre has been regenerated, redeveloped & gentrified. We can’t afford to live there anymore, and people like me are pushed out. Hulme was a failed social housing experiment, an eyesore & an embarrassment to the people who had commissioned it. People like me moved in & we made it our own. They’re never going to allow anything like that to happen again. Every quaint old fashioned pub that closes becomes a block of flats. The footprint is too valuable to property developers. One day all we will have will be faded photographs to bear witness to a very different way of living.

Was it through the Crescents that you started shooting graffiti? 

When I first arrived in Hulme I’d just spent 3 years living with mates in a couple of houses elsewhere in the city. It suddenly struck me that that part of my life was over and I had very few photographs of that time. I’d been too busy learning photography, taking the kind of photos that every art student takes: Broken windows; abandoned buildings, and bits of burnt wood. I vowed I wouldn’t do that again. I began documenting the life that was around me.

I started with the architecture, as it was quite unlike any other place I’d ever seen. It had a desperate, faded beauty even then. The whole estate had been condemned for demolition before I arrived, but the city council had given up on the place long before that.

I started to notice graffiti pieces going up, seeing the same names repeated. It was obvious that there was a small group of writers trying out their styles on a large canvas for the 1st time. Wanting to claim this derelict space as their own Hall Of Fame. I started to document them as they sprang up. Then I noted that context was crucial, and so I began to include the soon-to-be-derelict buildings in the images also. The shapes & colours of the graffiti looked positively psychedelic beside the drab monochrome of the setting.

With your graffiti shots, you show a lot more than just the pieces. Was it an intentional thing to show the act behind it a bit?

Because it was Hulme and no-one cared, these guys weren’t working in the dead of night like most graffiti writers do in the train yards and what-have-you. They were working during the day, right out in the open. So, documenting their work, it wasn’t long before I ran into Kelzo. He really didn’t trust me at first, but I kept coming back. So, I got to know them. They started to let me know where they were going to be painting next.

In 1995 Kelzo organised the 1st SMEAR JAM event (named after a young aspiring writer who used to come down to Hulme to learn, and had died suddenly from a nut allergy). That was such good fun that another event arrived the following year, another & another. Graf writers came from London, Edinburgh, Leeds, Sheffield, and as far afield as Spain. The local community came out to support and, as usual, it turned into a party that lasted all weekend.

I got into the habit of taking 2 cameras. One loaded with B&W film to capture the event itself, and another with colour transparency to document the finished artwork.

Graffiti… hip-hop… kids getting ice cream… I suppose there’s a few different subjects there, but was there an underlying thing or theme you wanted to show with your photos? Maybe getting a bit philosophical, but they’re all quite free acts—is it about enjoying what’s there?

It was more about documenting the life I saw around me. Moving to Hulme was what led to me capturing graffiti, and graffiti led to hip-hop events. Once Hulme was demolished I moved my camera into the city centre and began photographing club nights. House and hip-hop turned into Drum’n’Bass, and then dubstep. Residents and warm-up acts have now become headliners in their own right. Manchester has always been a great city for music, and it kept me busy throughout the naughty Noughties. I’ve pretty much retired from all of that now. I’d had enough after over 15 years of it. I no longer feel compelled to document something as ephemeral as a club night anymore when half of the audience are doing it themselves anyway. Then coronavirus came & properly killed it all off. I don’t know what it’s going to be like now going forward, but it’ll be someone else’s turn to document whatever that is.

What do you think makes a good photograph? 

You need to have a good eye. You need to notice & be aware of the world around you. You always see an image before you create one. You don’t require expensive equipment. Mine never was. And you don’t need to be trained. It’s one of those areas where you really can educate yourself. A certain amount of technique and technical understanding goes a long way but, again, you can pick those things up as you go along.

There are different kinds of photography, of course, but for me it was always about capturing a moment. The Decisive Moment, as Cartier-Bresson so eloquently put it. It’s something that the camera has over the canvas. For me the camera has always been a time machine. Like an evocative love song on the radio, it can transport you back immediately to a time & place long gone. It also acts as a witness for those people who were not there. Images tell stories. And we all like to hear and tell stories.

A couple of years ago I was invited to talk at the University of Lancaster for a symposium on documentary photography, which is a tradition that I had always considered my photographs sat within. But oddly, as I gave my slide-show presentation, images that I have seen and shown many times before, and thought I knew very well, I suddenly saw in a brand-new light. I could see myself in every image. Almost like a self-portrait from which I was absent but my own shadow cast large. I realised that I haven’t been documenting anything other than my own life. 25 year old images suddenly had something new to say, something new to tell me.

Do you still take photos today? What kind of things are you into shooting these days?

I don’t really do a lot of photography these days. I teach and facilitate as part of my job now. I still do the odd event but night club photography is a much younger man’s game. I really don’t have the levels of commitment, energy or enthusiasm I once did. I feel like I’ve taken enough images. If I never took another photograph ever again, that’s OK. Maybe, perhaps, I’ll get into a different kind of image making in my twilight years … but for now I’m trying to reassess the images I made 25 years ago. People are far more interested in them now than they ever were at the time. Now they have become documents of a time and place which has gone. The graffiti and the walls that they were written on have disappeared. Many of those night clubs have closed. Time moves on. The images and the memories are all that is left.

Over all those years, how has the art of photography changed for you?

Back when I started taking photographs, where I lived in Hulme, the kind of music that I was into, the magic of a night club moment, there were very few people I knew of who were doing the same thing. Now I am aware of others who were. Almost everyone is their own photographer now. Mobile phones & social media have given a platform for anyone to make & share images of their individual lives, whether it be their friends & families, holidays, public events or more private & intimate moments. Anyone can document their own lives now, so I no longer feel that I have to. I do still love photography, it’s still my favourite form of art, but I don’t feel compelled to capture it all anymore.

I suppose I’ve pestered you with questions for a while now. Have you got any wise words to wind this up with?

If you want to become a photographer you must learn your craft. Keep doing it, and you will get better. But you must remember to always be honest. Make honest images. Listen to the voice of your own integrity. Don’t worry too much if no-one sees any value in what you do. If you’re any good people will eventually see it. It may take years, it did for me, but images of the ordinary & everyday will one day become historical, meaningful & extraordinary.

We live in a world today mediated by images, a Society of the Spectacle, but we still need photographers: People who have a good eye, an innate feel for the decisive moment; what to point the camera at and when to press the shutter. The images that you make today will be the memories of the future.

See more of Al’s photos here.

#Photography #Interview #Al Baker #Manchester #Hulme Crescents

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fayewonglibrary · 3 years

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Wong’s Way (2011)

An anomaly in the cookie-cutter world of Cantopop, FAYE WONG has paradoxically found success by playing against the rules. Prestige Hong Kong follows her down the road less travelled

FIVE YEARS MAY not seem like that long, but it can be a lifetime in an entertainment industry that feeds off the right-here and the right-now. So it came as a surprise when, half a decade ago, Faye Wong decided to step back from the limelight and resume as much of a normal life as might ever be possible for a woman whose music has sold in the millions and who has combined that side of her existence with an acclaimed acting career.

From an existence playing before tens of thousands, what the Beijing-born Wong longed for at that point in time was a life tucked away in the peace and tranquillity of home – and after almost 20 years in the spotlight, and with her every move followed by a fan base that can be tallied in the millions, who could really blame her?

But as an artist who in an age of corporate conformity flatly refuses to play to any predetermined stereotype, Wong has always preferred to play by her own rules. It may come as a surprise, then, to find out that Faye Wong was not always “Faye” – diehard fans will remember a period in which the artist was known as Shirley Wong Ching-man, an affectation suggested by her record company early in her career, because of the stigma associated with the hip factor (or lack thereof) of mainland Chinese artists and names.

Even Wong’s early hits weren’t what you would call “original” – her first few albums were filled with formulaic Cantopop: collections of saccharine, predictable tunes that failed to properly utilise her delicate, lilting soprano. When she broke out of that shell in 1992, after a short travel hiatus, she finally found success, initially with a cover of a Japanese chart-topper in Cantonese, “Fragile Woman.”

Despite her disinclination to be impacted by her local contemporaries, Wong was not without her influences. She covered songs by The Cranberries, took quirky style cues from Björk and collaborated with the Cocteau Twins. The further she strayed from Cantopop, the more fame she found, penning her own songs and admittedly self-indulgent lyrics. She rapped on “No Exit,” yodelled through “Di-Dar” and even won the hearts of nerds by wailing the English-language title track to the hit video-game Final Fantasy VIII, “Eyes On Me.”

Even when her albums weren’t critical or commercial successes, her fame continued to grow, exponentially and uncontrollably. Her handful of acting roles, including in Chungking Express and 2046, showcased a curious, simultaneous aloofness and magnetism, an infectious, ravishing oddness.

In 2005, two months before she married actor Li Yapeng, she announced that she would take a break from show business. And so for five years there have been sightings, the occasional public appearance and the work for her own charity, but otherwise it’s pretty much been silence from Wong, as her fans – and the world at large – waited.

With that in mind, we should not have been surprised at the reaction to the news that Wong would finally be reemerging, to stage comeback concerts that started in Beijing last October, then took in Shanghai and Taipei before coming to Hong Kong, the place where Wong’s career was launched, for a series of shows in March. Tickets – for all nights, at all venues – sold out in a matter of days and the critical response has been overwhelming.

The headlines said it all: “The Diva is Back.”

What the Wong faithful have found is that their idol has lost none of the passion for the music that forms, as she puts it herself, part of her fate. They’ve been treated to nights filled with the songs that have formed the soundtrack for the lives of a generation here in Hong Kong – and beyond.

When Prestige Hong Kong found the interview-shy 40-year-old, she was in between shows and letting that fate take its course. What Wong wants the world to know is that throughout her storied career there has, she says, never been any real plan. She’s simply a woman who lets the cards fall as they may.

Can you talk a little about your return to the stage and playing live? What brought about the decision to play your recent concerts? I consider this a natural move for me. I’ve been doing several commercials as well as releasing some new singles over the past few years. So this was a natural progression back to live performances. It’s all part of my career.

How did you go about deciding what form the concerts would take and the songs you played? There’s no special form or arrangement that’s deliberately conceived for my concert. I believe my singing is the main source of interaction between the audience and me. Every show is unique and my mood is different, depending on the atmosphere. It’s not my practice to talk much with people or have any planned speech in my concert, because I don’t want the conversation to ruin the whole integrity and mood of the arrangement of the concert. I hope my audiences can indulge themselves with my music, while also digesting the message my show is delivering.

After the recent concerts in Shanghai and Beijing, what’s your feeling about coming back on stage? It feels so good to see all my fans again.

Do you have any plans to work on a new album? If so, will you be writing songs yourself? There’s no plan to work on a whole new album. But there is a possibility to release singles, and maybe I’ll write some songs myself.

How different to you is the experience of playing live now as compared to when your career began? What have you learned and how much has the experience for you changed over the years? I’ve been working with different sets of crews, composers, producers etc since the beginning of my career. Each of these collaborations has opened up a whole new experience and been an amazing inspiration for me. Call it a fireworks feeling.

What was it that initially drew you to the music business? What was it that you found most exciting? I believe singing is my destiny, and it’s fate that this became my career. I find it gratifying that I’m able to touch people’s lives with my songs. It’s a form of good karma.

Have your musical tastes changed or evolved as you matured as a person and as an actress? I admire different types of music and things depending on the different stages of my life.

Did becoming a mother change how you approached both your singing and your career? There was no change. I still sing with the same commitment and feeling, and it’s the same with my career.

And how much, do you think, did this change you as a person? The process of raising a child is part of my evolution as a human being. If you’re not a parent or don’t fully involve yourself as a parent, you’ll never realise this traditional, fulfilling role of parenthood. As a parent, it’s natural to want to show your best side and provide the best example to your child. However, sometimes it’s hard to break habits that may surface from time to time. It’s a painful cycle, because even though you realise your own faults, to change yourself completely requires a lot of courage and determination.

We’re curious about a typical day for Faye Wong. What’s your routine when you’re not performing? What time do you go to bed, what’s your favourite meal and what activities do you share with your kids? Basically, I go to bed and wake up the same time as my kids do. I got used to enjoying the regular pattern of a healthy lifestyle, but that won’t happen coming back to work.

Frankly, there’s so much to do when you take charge of a whole household. My life in the past few years was completely occupied by family and there was no time for me ever to feel bored. Sometimes I feel that I was even busier than when I was working as a singer.

Do you think your children share the same character as you? When I look at my kids, it’s like looking into a mirror and seeing the deepest side of myself.

What are the things that make you most happy now, compared with when you were younger? What do you now cherish most? I cherish everyone and everything. I’m fortunate to appreciate what I have and the people I know.

How do you see your image now? Are you an artist who is careful to control her image, or is it more a case of come what may? The most effortless style suits me best. I aim to be the most natural, honest in my approach. I want it to be pure, not something that seems too contrived or created just to fit the latest trend.

What are you most passionate about? To find the real meaning of life, and share it with lots of people.

What about acting? Is this something you’re keen to pick up again as well? If so, what kinds of films and roles might interest you? Right now, I have no plans on filming.

What are the challenges you see ahead in the next few years? What can your audience expect? My life has no planning, and I’m not a person who conceives everything in advance. It always depends on what’s being offered and what I feel like doing at that moment. There’s no pressure on myself – I leave everything to chance and fate.

The Smile Angel Foundation was founded in Beijing in 2006 by you and your husband, Li Yapeng, after your own child was afflicted with a cleft lip. It’s helped a lot of other children suffering from cleft lips and palates. Has the foundation changed your life or your character in any way? My contribution to Smile Angel Foundation is not as much as my husband’s involvement. He’s very busy working on plans to support the foundation. For me, basically, I’ll attend annual charity events and activities to lend my support.

On this project, we started everything from scratch and are very gratified to see how much it has accomplished. My husband is definitely the driving force behind the foundation, and I really admire his passion, courage and capability.

At your current stage, do you think you have evolved in your perspective of things compared with when you were younger? Can you share your road of growth a little bit? I was a bit stubborn, objective and capricious when I was younger. I’m now more willing to be open-minded and flexible, and always try to remind myself about this. It’s quite difficult to stop old habits surfacing from time to time. But I’m trying hard to accomplish it.

Do you have any advice on how to maintain a woman’s beauty and charm after the age of 30? First of all, you have to accept your age. I believe everyone has their own unique way to create their own charm and maintain their beauty, which is sometimes a very personal approach. One should find one’s own best way; there really is no standard formula for everyone to maintain their beauty. I believe the most natural side of a person is the most beautiful.

You’re acclaimed as a pioneer of alternative music. Does that mean you won’t compromise with the commercial market? I never define my music as “mainstream” or “edgy” or “alternative.” I just do what I like.

Photography / Shameless Eye Production AG Styling / Titi Kwan Hair / Alain Pichon Make-up / Zing Wardrobe / Céline Spring 2011 collection

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SOURCE: PRESTIGE HONG KONG

#2011

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onestowatch · 3 years

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Your Grandparents Manifest a Cinematic, Soulful Debut Album With ‘Thru My Window’ [Q&A]

Photo: Jordan Perez

Inspired by everything from ‘90s boom bap artists like Digable Planets and the Pharcyde to modern funk legends like Outkast and D'Angelo, Your Grandparents have quickly proven themselves to be their generations' torchbearers for the psychedelic soul movement.

Using a variety of recording techniques to get the desired effect for their genre-blending debut album Thru My Window, the group credits their uniquely cohesive sound to their years-long friendship, which began in their early teens. With their lush grooves, breezy, clear vocals, a sonic aesthetic built on unwavering authenticity, and of course, a deep love for their roots and deep musical traditions passed down from their grandparents, Your Grandparents embodies what it means to be an artist to watch.

Ones To Watch had a chance to talk with the trio, comprised of DaCosta (vocals), Jean Carter (vocals), and Cole, aka ghettoblasterman (producer), to discuss their inspirations and the long days and nights that went into creating their debut album.

When you last spoke to Ones To Watch, it was for the release of your single "So Damn Fly," and now, a year later, here we are talking about the release of your debut album, Thru My Window. How are you all feeling, and what have you learned about yourselves in this last year through the album-making process?

DaCosta: From a personal outlook, I've learned that making music is heavily dependent on my mood, or just how I'm feeling and what's going on in my personal life. When things are a little too stagnant, it's a little harder to write. On the other hand, when things are flowing, and life is being lived, it's easy fuel. It's good fuel. It doesn't burn too quickly.

GBM: I've learned that no idea is too wild. It's usually less wild than I think it is.

Jean: Yeah, it's better to start at the extreme and take away. I realized I feel like a lot of artists feel like they have to put themselves through turmoil or allow certain situations to write meaningful things. Like it's not necessarily good music, but it's something that means a lot to them. I think I realized that that's not the case and inspiration comes in many different forms. It could be a person or something completely random and inanimate that makes you feel something.

What were some of those inspirations?

Jean: Definitely films.

GBM: A lot of films!

Jean: Yeah, we're all pretty big film people. We do all our own videos pretty much, and it just comes from this love of film that we've had that got nurtured in high school. We were blessed enough to have a really dope film program that Sony funded and stuff, and so we got like an impromptu film education before we graduated. So by the time we graduated, we knew how to get our own projects done without reaching out to someone else and then taxing us because they want to hire their friends and all that stuff. So because of that, we had complete creative control. I've also been watching a lot of Korean movies lately. Not during the album—wait, actually, during the album, there were a lot of old kung fu movies and blaxploitation movies from, like, the ‘70s. Also, my friend got me this Curtis Mayfield record, and "So Damn Fly" is definitely heavily influenced by that whole record.

GBM: I feel like the ‘70s in general, the ‘60s and ‘70s, definitely had a big inspiration on the aesthetic and the kind of sound we were going after. Especially with "So Damn Fly" and "Tomorrow" and those kinds of songs.

Do you feel like this album has a linear story the same way a film does, or do you feel like it's more of an anthology of the band's personal experiences?

GBM: It's kind of a mix of both.

Jean: Yeah, it started off as an anthology, and then we pieced together the story, which was largely done by Cole by sitting there and being like, “Hmmm.”

DaCosta: Yeah, it was a lot of Cole dissecting the words and putting them on the tracks.

Jean: When we're writing the words and trying to be free-flowing and expressive and stuff, we're not fully conscious of a bigger picture situation. Instead, Cole is sitting there producing everything and putting in the music and being just more of a listener than anyone else could. So he has the context, and he could find a story that we didn't know we were doing together with our three minds and in our three different lives.

GBM: It's like a puzzle almost, because I'll be sitting there at like 2 a.m. in my bed, listening to the songs, and I'm like, "Ok, Kyle said, that in the hook, so this song has to go before that," and so on and so forth. It's like a storyboard kinda.

Right, to keep the record's "plot" cohesive and self-referential.

GBM: Another big consideration was playlists. I love making playlists, and I know Kyle loves making playlists, too, so it needed to flow. It just has to flow. We didn't want songs that juxtapose each other or have opposite vibes be back to back.

DaCosta: Yeah, I think we even switched around the playlist a couple of times before we had it set in stone.

GBM: There were like fourteen songs originally, and then we got talked down to ten.

Jean: Fourteen tracks woulda went crazy!

I'm sure fans would love a deluxe version of the album at some point! So what were some of the rough draft ideas before you set these ten tracks in stone?

Jean: There were more modern-sounding tracks. The more time we spent on a project, and this being our debut, we wanted to be true to the name. We wanted to be true to the artistry that had gotten us to this point.

DaCosta: There were a couple of heavier hip-hop tracks there too.

Jean: We had been doing that, and a lot of people haven't even heard those because they're like heavy hip-hop stuff from when we were in high school and like early college.

Were there any tracks on the record that challenged you?

Jean: "Intoxicated" challenged me. I had a whole different verse. The conception of that song—I was just venting about whatever I was going through at the time, and one of my homies was like, "It's not sexy enough!" So I was just like, "What? No! I've done sexy stuff on all the other songs. Just let me vent!" So I tried another verse, and we ended up going with that one instead.

DaCosta: I mean, it worked out great though...

Jean: I mean, yeah, it sits nicely on the song, and now I have a verse for something else one day when it's time for it.

GBM: Yeah, that song went from being all of ours and everyone on our team's favorite song to our least favorite song. I will say that recording the instruments for the album was fun, but there were definitely some long hours. We had a drummer and bassist come through, and they played for like twelve hours straight doing all the songs. So the songs that have live drums on them were all done in that one day, and they even did songs we recorded that didn't make it on the final record. I think we started at 1 p.m. and we ended at 1 a.m. It was crazy.

What song are you most excited for people to hear when the album drops?

Jean: I think people are gonna like "Comfortable" a lot. Honestly, I haven't listened to the record in a while because it's existed in our world for a minute. We had just posted the visuals for that song today, and I was feelin it.

DaCosta: I think people are gonna really like "Digest." For me, it gives me that "it" factor.

GBM: I think "Red Room." It's my personal favorite and one of the more fun ones to me. It's just a good time!

youtube

You mentioned earlier that you try to maintain creative control when making your music videos and coming up with concepts for visualizers. What is your creative process like?

DaCosta: We definitely sit down, and we go through everything from storyboard to shotlist and just take and grab inspiration from all over the place. For "So Damn Fly," there was that That 70's Show shot where they're all sitting around the table, and it's spinning. So there are all types of really cool influences, and we just try to use those and make everything unique to us.

GBM: I think we kind of go through a three-step verification. The idea has to go through all three of us before it becomes something else or moves on to actually being tested out or put into picture. So that kind of attributes to the very solid identity we aim for.

It sounds like that impromptu film education you mentioned earlier has really set you up for success in creating your videos.

Jean: Yeah. My high school film teacher, Miss Butler, I took that class for two years, and then when I couldn't take it anymore, I became a TA. So then I took the after-school class, and I just spent hella hours pretty much ruining the way I enjoyed cinema and teaching myself like—she would have us look and watch these classic movies and be like, this is what they did wrong.

Can you give me an example of a classic film you would watch and critique?

Jean: The first one that comes to mind is Rear Window. I watched it a few times, just because I had taken the class a couple of times. She talked about how the set that they made and the world that they created, they had full control over. Just seeing older films and how simple things were a lot more complicated then. Like you can't just delete a take and wipe your card. Everything had to be so planned out and so intentional. You gotta do shit on purpose. It's just a lot of thinking and planning, and sometimes, I feel like it's more challenging to have more people involved in a film production sometimes because of the growing degrees of communication. With the small groups that we usually keep, everyone's on the same page as us. All of us took this same class, so we all have a similar workflow.

DaCosta: Yeah, our organization when it comes to films, we're all pretty much on the same page. You know, with what was going to happen, who's doing what, who's in charge of what, etc.

Jean: And pre-production is the biggest thing and finding the right team because we can't shoot it and be in it. Although Cole can somehow!

GBM: I'm in one scene, and I'm like, "I'm just gonna kill this scene right now, and then I'm gonna jump back." That's why I'm only in the last scene.

Because he's doing everything else!

Jean: Yeah! Then as soon as the scene cuts, it's like, I go back to directing people, and Kyle goes back to making sure we got the next shot set up.

GBM: There were only seven people on set.

DaCosta: And four out of seven were crew members

GBM: Yeah, the DP was the only person that wasn't actually a casted character. Everybody else is like multitasking.

You'll be making your first-ever festival appearance at Day N Vegas in November. How are y'all feeling about it?

GBM: It feels incredible!

DaCosta: I'm so so excited!

Jean: If I get excited, I get nervous. So I just aim to be focused, or I don't think about it at all.

After the release of Thru My Window, what are some long-term or short-term goals y'all are manifesting?

Jean: I think for the next album, I want it to get Best Rap Album. We went R&B on this one, but nobody knows the way that we—like yes, we rap on it, but nobody knows our actual rap potential. So I feel like that's something that needs to be lived out on the next project. It's been a minute since we were rapping, bro. There are cool people out here doing the rap thing right now, but not many people have impressed me.

GBM: I kind of want this album to open up the door to doing a lot of travel. When we got back from Paris in 2019, what we experienced during that summer gave us fuel to start this project. So I feel like if we just keep that kind of like tradition going, we just travel somewhere and just make stuff, I think it'll never get steered wrong.

DaCosta: I think I want the album to just open up doors in general. I know it's kind of a broad thing, but like, we're so diverse, and between the three of us, we can do literally anything I think in the world if we put our minds to it, and we kind of plan on doing everything that we want to do. So, I kind of want this album to open the door just so that we can you can start striding towards whatever, whether it's directing movies and videos and fucking scoring—

Jean: Or directing other people's videos!

DaCosta: Yeah, all types of shit.

Thru My Window is available everywhere you can stream it.

#your grandparents #album review #interview #thru my window

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redbeanboi · 4 years

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disturbia

ah yes! the stand that’s kept a lot of my plot moving—the famed Disturbia.

I’ll be updating this from time to time because uploading all of my notes means spoiling some plot points to you and ruining the experience!! without further ado:

if you’ve read Business Before Pleasure, you’ve probably seen the comment I wrote re: Disturbia’s stats in Chapter 4′s comment section.

Either way, here’s a graph and some info about Disturbia, the first stand I’ve ever made....++some fun facts!

Stand stats graph generator courtesy of @spooky-ghostwriter. Try it here!

Namesake: Disturbia, a track from Rihanna’s Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded album from 2008.

Abilities: Shadow and body manipulation. Strings connect a puppet to the puppetmaster and Disturbia is basically a shadowy figure that connects a target to the user. Disturbia has no physical form and only appears on surfaces. This stand can and will extend (like any shadow, really) in order to capture the target, hence the long-range stand distinction. Full range is about 20m.

One catch—while it can manipulate most people and have them carry out simple actions/movements, it’s unable to fully puppet a person. It can’t stop someone as violent and unhinged as Don Elio (see: Chapter 8 of BBP) from murdering or beating someone up. In other words, Disturbia can only manipulate a target as long as it’s within the realistic limits of what that person would do on their own.

Another thing to note: the brighter the light, the stronger darker the shadow appears, so in other words, Disturbia is stronger in well-lit areas and nearly impossible to summon in areas that are pitch-black.

Appearance: .... working on that. ahem. I kind of got into it when I answered this ask, but again, it’s very vague.

In all seriousness, I have never been able to conjure a concrete image of what Disturbia looks like, and I’m sure that’s obvious given the fact that I’ve only focused on its abilities as opposed to its appearance. Think a creepy looking shadowy figure. Think obsidian (the mineral, not steven universe, if you need clarification). Gives that same feeling of dread and unease that Killer Queen makes when it finally makes its first appearance (super hazy!! mostly a silhouette!!). I think I’ve finally got an idea of what it looks like now though.

Fun facts: I’ll add more from time to time, so check this regularly if you’re interested (or bored, haha).

This was the first stand I ever made.

I made it because... I love Rihanna... Also Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded is one of my favorite albums of all time. Iconic. Not a single weak track on this album. Also just fits the aesthetic for the time that Business Before Pleasure is set, in my opinion (2008! which, ironically... takes place around the time this album came out).

I originally made this stand for myself. At the time, I made Disturbia as my own theoretical stand because my friends asked what my stand would be if I had one, and I was listening to a lot of Rihanna because I just knew that if I had a stand, it’d need that same kind of power (haha). I wrote Business Before Pleasure soon after that, which as you all know, was originally a one-shot. When I decided to continue writing for that fic, I had no idea where I was going plot-wise, but I knew I wanted to include a stand... Just happened to be my luck that I couldn’t come up with one. A friend kindly reminded me that I had one and simply said “well, you made one already didn’t you?” and after a good back and forth (and my insistent “b-but... it’s my stand!! my baby!!!”), I finally made the decision to give my stand to the Reader as well as all my beanie babies!! We all share a stand now!! :-)

I won’t say much here, but once the fic progresses far enough, I’ll update this fact..... But to put it simply... I made the decision to use Disturbia for this fic on a whim, but I’m realizing everyday that it just fits so so perfectly with the plot and characters. It just works and honestly I believe that this story just has a mind of its own at this point and I’m just here trying to tame it and make it coherent for everyone who reads it.

That’s all for now! I’ll be adding stand notes for Reader/Giorno’s son, Giuseppe next—the famed Saturation (I, II, III).

#redbeanboi makes stands #ocs #??#stand: disturbia #fic:bbp

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fuse2dx · 4 years

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June '20

Trials of Mana

Maybe not the highest profile remake Square-Enix have put out in recent memory, but one that was pretty exciting for me. I played a fan translation of the Super Famicom original some 20 years ago, so while it's not particularly fresh in my head, there's just enough there to enjoy some infrequent little pangs of nostalgia. The move to 3D has made for some welcome changes to to combat - jumping adds a vertical element to combat that wasn't present before, and enemy specials being clearly telegraphed and avoidable puts a little more control in your hands. There's still a good amount of 16 bit jank though - combo timing feels unreliable, the camera's often a pain, there's plenty of questionable hit detection, and you definitely wouldn't want to leave your fate solely in the hands of your party's AI. Willing to put most of this aside, what actually mattered more to me was that it still had the kind of playful, breezy nature, it looks and plays nicely, and that it progresses at a nice clip. Party selection will change the way you fight moment-to-moment, but only provides minor and very brief deviance from the main storyline, most of which is the kind of schlocky cartoon villainy that will have you looking for a skip button before it would illicit any kind of emotional response. But you know what? Overall, I still enjoyed it a lot.

So while it may not be revolutionising the action RPG, what it does show is that Square-Enix is capable of acknowledging their history of previously untranslated works, and that they also now have a pretty good template for getting a B-tier remake of such titles out in a reasonable timeframe. Where do I send my wish list in to, team?

Sayonara Wild Hearts

As a one-liner found on the back of the box, 'A pop album video game' is about as on-the-nose as it gets. The old "it's not for everyone" adage is definitely applicable, and its defiance of traditional video game metrics is not in any way subtle. How sophisticated is the gameplay? Not particularly. How long is it? Not very. But how does it make you feel? Now you're talking. It presents a simple but deeply relatable story of a broken heart, and leads from there with a catchy tune into a fast and colourful onslaught of new ideas, perspectives, and concepts. That is to say: it has the potential to make you feel all kinds of things.

One especially celebratory note was how well the game is structured to fit into the album structure it boasts about. Stages flow quickly into one another, and while shorter, more compounding numbers are often about introducing new ideas and themes, moving on to the next is a few simple button presses and a brief, well-hidden loading window away. Inevitably there are more standout stages, those that feel like the hit singles; the longer, verse-chorus-verse type joints that grant the space for more fleshed out visual story telling, and that smartly synchronise their percussive hits, soaring vocals and the like to appropriate beats of play. A lot of the gameplay can easily (and cynically) be reduced to "it's an endless runner", but to liken this to a cheap re-skin of a confirmed hit-maker is to wilfully dismiss so much of what it does better and so much beside. You can play it on damn near everything, and for the time it takes, it's well worth doing.

Twinkle Star Sprites

I've meant to play this countless times before. I've almost certainly passed it by while strolling through arcades, the Saturn version has never been hoovered up into my collection, and the PS2 collection this particular version belongs to - ADK Damashii - is no longer a cheap addition to anyone's library. The digital version of it for PS4 however was however recently on sale at a point that saw me receive change from a fiver. David Dickinson would be proud.

Having now credit-fed my way through the game's brief arcade mode, there's no doubt in my mind that the nuance of its systems are going to be glossed over in this rather ham-fisted appraisal. At least at face value, there's plenty of character and charm to appreciate in its colourful and cutesy style. As a two-player, vertically split-screen title, its a pretty clean break from a lot of a shooter's typical characteristics - rather than 6(ish) stages of hell, its a series of one on one battles - and all the better suited to 2 players for it. As enemy waves come at you, taking them out in chains can generate attacks to the other player; however if these attacks are too small then it's entirely possible they'll be killed off again, and an even bigger attack will come straight back at you. Think of a bit like competitive Tetris, but with shooting rather than puzzling. It's a neat and curious little game, that's likely best experienced properly, with a friend on the other side of the sofa to hurl abuse at.

Blasphemous

Let's get the lazy-but-effective description out of the way: it's a 2D MetroidVania Souls-like. You've got "that" type of map, definitely-not-bonfires and definitely-not-Estus Flasks. You are encouraged to return to your body upon death, the combat system is very reliant on parries and dodge-rolls, and there's even a dedicated "lore" button to use on every item you pick up.

While this likely sounds dismissive, it's more about addressing the elephant in the room. To give some context, these are both types of games that I love, and the end product here has done a pretty good job of bringing them together. The exploration is pleasantly open - gatekeeping is typically done less by specific items and abilities, and more by just which areas you're brave enough to poke your head into. It's a little bit of a shame that most of the new abilities have to be switched out for others rather than adding to a core arsenal of moves, but at the same time its base setup gives you plenty of ways to deal with any number of combat scenarios. This is of course best demonstrated by the boss encounters, which are wonderful affairs - big, gruesome, thoughtful variations on approaches to combat, which drop in at a nice pace to keep you from ever getting too cocky. The theming in general is wonderful, and the name is certainly appropriate - there's a lot of deep catholic inspiration in its gorgeous backdrops and environments, but then layered on top are some chilling elements of religious iconography, along with a cast of disturbing devotees and martyrs to sufficiently unsettle you. It's arguably a small intersection of the gaming population that it'll appeal to, but if you're in there, it's a real treat.

Death Come True

The first thing you see upon starting is the game's central character breaking right through the fourth wall to tell you directly not to stream the game or to share anything that might spoil the story. The first rule of Death Come True, and so on. I consider myself fairly well versed in such etiquette, so to then have the screenshot function entirely disabled for the whole game felt a little like being given a slap on the wrists for a crime I had no intention of committing. I don't envy the team trying to market it, that's for sure.

The reasoning behind this is clear at least - it's a game that is in total service of its plot. Consider a mash-up of a 'Choose your own adventure' book and a series of full-motion videos, and you're mostly there. Unless you were to walk away from the controller or perhaps fall asleep, there seems very little chance that your play time will deviate from the 3 hour estimate - which will certainly put some people off, but is understandable given the production values, and personally, quite welcome in the first place. In terms of replay value, there are branching paths that a single route will obviously skip: as an example of this, in looking up a screenshot to use in lieu of taking my own, I found a promotional image of the central cast, only to not recognise one of them at all. One thing that such a short run-time does ensure though, is that minute-for-minute, there's plenty of action; without wanting to speak about the story itself (rather than in fear of reprise for doing so, I might add), it kicks off with plenty of intrigue, shortly thereafter switching to full-on action, and then strikes a pretty fine balancing act between the two for its run time. It doesn't get quite as deep or as complex as I would've hoped given the team's pedigree, but I do like it, and think it'd actually be a pretty fun title to play with folks who normally don't concern themselves with games. By the same token, it's probably not for the 'hardcore' types looking for something to string out over dozens of hours.

Persona 5: Dancing in Starlight

After the generous main course that was Persona 5 Royal, I figured that I'd follow up with dessert. I did however wait until a weekend where I knew my girlfriend would be away, so as not to trigger any unpleasant flashbacks to looped battle themes, and the chirpy, indecipherable voices of Japanese schoolkids that made it so painful to endure as a non-gaming cohabitant.

Immediately, it's clear that very little has changed since Persona 4's take on the rhythm action genre. The core game, while still functional and fairly enjoyable, hasn't changed a lick. Perhaps the most notable improvement to the package as a whole is in scaling back on a dedicated story mode, and instead just having a series of uninspired but far less time-consuming set of social link scenes that pad things out. The biggest flaw is repeated wholesale though, in that trying to stretch out noteworthy tracks from a single game's playlist into a dedicated music game leads to repetition - and there is a much less prolific gathering of artists involved in remixes this time. I'd be willing to wager that it's a very similar story once again with Persona 3: Dancing in Moonlight, but I'm not about to ruin a perfectly good dinner to start with the sweet just to find out, if you'll excuse a second outing of the metaphor. Still, again compare these to Theatrhythm though - where Square-Enix plundered the Final Fantasy series in its entirety, along with spin-offs and other standalone titles to put together a library of music worthy for the one single game. Cobble the tunes from Personas 3-5 together into one game, and you're still coming up very short by comparison.

#trials of mana #seiken densetsu 3 #sayonara wild hearts #twinkle star sprites #blasphemous #death come true #persona 5 dancing in starlight

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spookyspemilyreid · 5 years

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Happy Anniversary “Minutes To Midnight”!❤️ (May 14, 2007)

Minutes to Midnight is the third studio album by American rock band Linkin Park, released on May 14, 2007, through Warner Bros. Records. The album was produced by Mike Shinoda and Rick Rubin. Minutes to Midnightwas the band's follow-up album to Meteora (2003) and features a shift in the group's musical direction. For the band, the album marks a beginning of deviation from their signature nu metal sound. Minutes to Midnighttakes its title from the Doomsday Clock. It is also the first Linkin Park full-length album to carry a Parental Advisory label.

Linkin Park started work on their third studio album in 2003, taking a break to tour in support of Meteora in 2004. In this time period, the band formed numerous side projects; Mike Shinoda formed his hip hopside project Fort Minor, while Chester Bennington formed Dead by Sunrise, causing the album to be shelved temporarily. The band returned to work on the record afterward, taking on a different musical direction than the 2003 sessions while working with producer Rick Rubin. The album's completion was delayed several times for unknown reasons. Eventually, "What I've Done" was chosen as the album's lead single in April 2007, with the album seeing release in North America on May 15, 2007.

The album debuted at number one in the US Billboard 200 and in 15 other countries, including the United Kingdom and Canada. In the United States, the album had the biggest first week sales of 2007 at the time, with 623,000 albums sold, going on to be certified fourfold platinum in the United States. It was also certified double platinum in New Zealand, Italy, Ireland, and Australia and certified platinum in Canada, France, Switzerland and in the UK. Despite its commercial success, Minutes to Midnightreceived mixed reviews from critics. Rolling Stone magazine named it the twenty-fifth best album of 2007. It has sold more than four million copies in the US and 20 million copies worldwide. It was ranked number 154 on Billboard's Hot 200 Albums of the Decade.

In an interview, lead singer Chester Bennington explained that the album is "a mix of punk, classic rock, and hip-hop standards" and that "Rick has brought more of a stripped down, classic-rock and hip-hop kind of feel."

In another interview, Bennington stated: "This time around, Mike Shinoda is singing a lot more. It may seem like he's not on the record, but he's doing a lot of the harmonies. He also sings a couple of songs alone. We're presenting ourselves in a different way."

Guitarist Brad Delson experimented with an EBow when the band was piecing together "The Little Things Give You Away". The band decided not to use the effect for the solo in that song and instead ended up creating "No More Sorrow" out of the effect. In "Given Up", he jingles the keys that are heard while several clap sounds are overlaid in the intro of the song (as mentioned in the lyric book: Brad added the sounds on the intro song: multiple tracks of claps - and keys jingling.). Shinoda and Delson teamed up with David Campbell to add string elements to six songs; "Leave Out All the Rest", "Shadow of the Day", "Hands Held High", "The Little Things Give You Away", as well as the two b-sides "No Roads Left" and "Blackbirds" (which was instead later used in the iPhone game 8-Bit Rebellion! as well as being included as a bonus track for A Thousand Suns), respectively. All scratching elements by Joe Hahn that existed in the previous two studio albums are largely absent because of the low mixing, except on the songs "What I've Done", "Wake", "The Little Things Give You Away", "Valentine's Day" and "In Pieces". Hahn contributes more with programming, electronics, and other elements to many of the songs. The church organ and military drumbeat on "Hands Held High" were originally to be used as the backdrop to melodic vocals, but Rubin recommended that the band try the opposite approach according to the album booklet. For the album, the band recorded fifty to sixty songs in August 2006.

Their previous albums took only about three to six months to complete, while this one took 14 months. They spent over six months writing the songs. In previous albums, they composed an average of 40 songs, but they made over 100 this time. "Shadow of the Day" is one of two songs (the other being "No Roads Left") to have Bennington playing the guitar. During live performances, Shinoda is generally playing the keyboard for "Shadow of the Day", while Bennington plays rhythm guitar. Shinoda stated in an interview: "We were looking back at the things that we had done in the past... and I think we just figured that we had exhausted that sound. It was easy for us to replicate, it was easy for other bands to replicate, and we just needed to move on."

Shinoda performs his rapping vocals on only two tracks, "Bleed It Out" and "Hands Held High". This is a significant decrease compared to the amount of rapping on previous albums. The rap vocals on "Hands Held High" are much closer styled to Mike Shinoda's side project Fort Minor than his traditional Linkin Park verses, as he raps during most of the song. Despite a decrease of Mike Shinoda as rapper, he has three solo lead songs on the record: "Hands Held High", "In Between" and the bonus track "No Roads Left". He also raps on "Bleed It Out" while "What I've Done", "Shadow of the Day", "No More Sorrow" and "The Little Things Give You Away" features backing vocals from Shinoda at the end. Minutes to Midnight is also Linkin Park's first album to feature guitar solos, particularly in the tracks "What I've Done," "In Pieces" and "The Little Things Give You Away". Also, unlike the previous two studio albums, Minutes to Midnight contains profanity and thus the first Linkin Park studio album to contain a Parental Advisory (the first overall being their collaborative EP with Jay-Z, Collision Course) and politically charged lyrics. The songs that contain profanity are "Given Up", "Bleed It Out" and "Hands Held High".

The front and back cover were recorded around the ruins of North Shore Beach and Yacht Club in North Shore, California. A year after the release of Minutes to Midnight, the band released ten different covers that were originally used as consideration for the final cover for the album prior to its release. The band made all ten of these covers available for fans to use as the album art on iTunes.

Minutes to Midnight received generally mixed reviews, based on an aggregate score of 56/100 from Metacritic, with critics showing approval, disapproval and indifference in almost equal measure.

Rolling Stone gave Minutes to Midnight 4 out of 5 stars, stating that "most of Minutes is honed, metallic pop with a hip-hop stride and a wake-up kick", and it was placed at number 25 in their list of the Top 50 Albums of 2007. IGN referred to it as "definitely a step in the right direction and a stepping stone for things to come". Herald Sun writer Karen Tye gave it 3½ out of 4 stars and praised the band's new sound, asking, "Who knew being a plain old rock band could suit Linkin Park so well?". Despite commending the band for their ambition, The Guardian's Caroline Sullivan gave the album 3 out of 5 stars and perceived "their decision to stay roughly within the shrieky boundaries of their genre" as a weakness, while writing that "the sound still pivots on the interplay of walloping guitar chords and self-flagellating lyrics".

Among those with a more negative view of the album was Stephen Thomas Erlewine of AllMusic, who described the album's sound as "passé" and summed the band's effort up as "opting to create a muddled, colorless murk", giving it 2 and a half out of 5 stars. Johan Wippsson from Melodic acknowledged the band's progression but felt that the album is "weak" and "too shattered". NMEmagazine's Dan Silver gave it a rating of 2/10, calling it the "sound of a band trying and failing to forge a new identity", and referring to the song "Hands Held High", a song about terrorist attacks and war, as "far and away the funniest thing you will hear all year".

Minutes to Midnight was delayed several times before its release. First scheduled to be released in the summer of 2006, it was later postponed to the fall of 2006, then again to early 2007. The album's release date was finally set for May 14, 2007. In Canada, the album was released on May 15, 2007. There are non-Parental Advisory releases of both the regular album and the special edition album. The songs "Given Up", "Bleed It Out", and "Hands Held High" are edited. In Malaysia, the edited version for the album is available in digipak cover while the explicit edition available for the Tour Edition which features white slipcase cardboard cover and a standard jewel case. In the United States, the album had the biggest first week sales of 2007 at the time, with 625,000 albums sold. In Canada, the album sold over 50,000 copies in its first week and debuted at number one on the Canadian Albums Chart. Worldwide, the album shipped over 3.3 million copies in its first four weeks of release.

Five singles were released from the album: "What I've Done", "Bleed It Out", "Shadow of the Day", "Given Up", and "Leave Out All the Rest". Although "Given Up" and "Leave Out All the Rest" had not been released as singles until early March 2008, "Given Up" had already charted on the Billboard Hot 100 and Billboard Pop 100 charts at numbers 99 and 78 respectively in 2007, and "Leave Out All the Rest" had already charted on Billboard's Pop 100 chart at number 98 and Billboard's Bubbling Under Hot 100 Singles chart at number 17 in 2007. The songs "Hands Held High" and "No More Sorrow" also charted on the Bubbling Under Hot 100 Singles chart at numbers 23 and 24, respectively, in 2007. The album has sold over 20 million copies worldwide, with 3.3 million copies sold in the US alone. Although sales of the album were lower than their two first studio albums, the album was more successful in terms of single's charting performance, with all of the five singles released reaching the Billboard Hot 100, and two songs reaching the Bubbling under Hot 100.

#linkin park #minutes to midnight #2007 #may 14th 2007 #5.14.2007.#may 14 2007 #2000s #mike shinoda #brad delson #rob bourdon #joe hahn #dave phoenix farrell #chester bennington

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Strange Love (1/?) (Biadore) - passion--victim

AN: Would like to send a big thank you to @aurora-blackheart & Veronica for the support & beta-ing! Female pronouns are used when they are in drag and male pronouns out of drag. This was supposed to be a one-shot but it probably won’t be.

Her ass pressed into the cold concrete dressing room floor, the loud music of Mickey’s blaring through the closed door. Her hands trembled as she pushed back her blue hair and started on her brows, Of course he wasn’t there, she thought to herself. Adore didn’t expect him to come after everything that went down but that didn’t change the fact everything had been chosen so he could be there. While she was so proud of this new album, fuck it hurt. Everything reminded her of the moments of ecstasy, comfort, and love that they had spent together. Fuck. She took a long drag of her half-finished blunt, willing herself to forget it all.

–

They started off so easy. Not a light fuck between friends but there was an inherent understanding that when apart they did whatever. In the beginning, it worked perfectly, Adore was free to take (consensual) advantage of whatever trade she found after her shows or in the bars and then when their schedules managed to line up they would spend their time in bed, on the couch or in the shower. Fucking, yes but also just existing together. It was the still moments after they had both cum when they lay intertwined that Danny loved the most. It was in those moments when they were coming down where their eyes did all the talking and that Danny knew how much he loved the older man.

It wasn’t when Danny had to muffle Roy’s name as he climaxed in another man but when he found himself turning down trade in favour of masturbating to an old dick pick that he knew he was in trouble. So he did what any self-respecting twenty-something would; he found more and more creative reasons to fly to where Roy was performing. At first, it was a convenient layover,’

“Danny, not that I’m complaining but since when is Barcelona on the way home from London?” Roy quipped when Danny showed up at his dressing room door one night.

He shrugged sheepishly and embraced his other half in a tight hug.

–

Fuck. His other fucking half. If she was in a better mood than she would have fully admitted that he was her better half. Somehow he always knew what to say, and while he could read Adore to filth, he never did. His door was always wide and his arms open. He could make him laugh for days but somehow he also grounded him. Made him feel wanted and whole.

“John” she yelled.

“What?”

“Pour me another one”

–

So he got more creative; layovers, saying his manager fucked up booking the flights and ‘accidently; leaving drag accessories in Bianca’s kit until finally one day he said “fuck it” owned up to how he felt, well okay, partly.

“Bitch I’m here cause I wanna be. You got a problem with that?”

“Come here pussyface.”

They never had the much needed conversation but it didn’t matter they were spending almost every night together, save only for work engagements and nights spent on a red-eye to see each other. Danny had always known how kind and generous Roy was as a friend (and in bed) but to be the recipient of his full affection was something else all together. He was always picking up a necklace or a shirt or a treat for him; never missing a scheduled Facetime call or an opportunity to shower Danny with compliments privately (or publicly). Even though they never put a name on whatever they had, they quickly settled into the most domestic arrangement either of them had experienced in a long time. When together, and when Bianca didn’t need to make morning talk show appearances, they found themselves waking up in the comfort of the other’s arms and morning wood pressed into the other’s thigh and neither Roy nor himself needing or wanting any more space between them. It was in these moments that Danny really got to see how much Roy loved him, how he trusted him to lower his guard and to just exist and be. Nights were spent exploring aspects of whatever new city they were in; and exploring new parts of each other whenever the mood hit them. When apart, they texted each other that their respective flight landed safe, dodged whatever potential trade they encountered at their solo gigs and made sure to Facetime when planned.

He didn’t set out to write another album. But fuck, lately he didn’t even need to smoke to find the words. Drawing inspiration from moments of ecstasy and comfort in his arms, his album took flight and in a direction it had never been before. He wasn’t mad about it either. He wanted everyone to know, indirectly through his lyrics, how happy he was. While he knew he had to leave it vague enough as to not identify his fellow queen, he poured his soul into each and every one of those songs. Treasuring the moments when he could fully let go, head in his lap, and share them with his love. He wasn’t always the most eloquent speaker but it was in his songs that he was able to express what he meant. And with songs called “Always,” “Hidden Kisses” and “End Game,” it wasn’t hard to figure out. Apart, when inspiration struck, instead of turning to social media Danny began sending videos of verses directly to Roy who more than compensated him when they were together once again. The hard part of this album turned out to be finding a release date that worked for both their schedules. They went back and forth suggesting dates, each one being shot down for a concert, a flight on the other side of the world or a previous work obligation. Suddenly they were looking at almost a year down the road.

“Well this isn’t going to work,” Roy said.

“Yanx what about…”

“Nope. At this rate I’ll be dead before it’s released”.

“Alright you old fucker what do think then?”

“I’ll just cancel this tour stop” he says pointing at the calendar. “I’ll be there.”

“Really? I know how important your work ethic is.”

“You want me there?”

“More than anything Willow,” he said, cupping his chin and pulling him into a tender kiss. “More than pizza,” he laughed.

“Then I won’t miss it for the world.”

—

Leave it to Roy to ruin pizza for me she thought. She pulls at the blue wig, trying to tease it into more of a punk mess, as she racks her brain for what went wrong. One minute it was cuddles and stealing kisses in shadowy corners of bars and the sex, oh god the fucking sex was everything. She didn’t understand how it could mean nothing to him. Tears gathered in the corner of her eye, threatening to rain down her perfectly beaten face.

“Fuck.” She took a deep breath, she wasn’t going to let him ruin this for her. She had put in too many hours pouring her heart into each track. She was so goddam proud of it and if he couldn’t see that and be there for her. Well fuck him. Even though fucking him got him in this mess in the first place.

—

He always thought he’d be the one to fuck it up. And maybe he did. But his heart felt a lot more heavy and broken than guilty. When fans started tagging her that Roy was with another man he didn’t give it another thought. Bitch, the internet be crazy he thought. When someone shouted, “Show Bianca who’s boss, I can’t believe she left you!” at her show one night she cursed that motherfucker out, he didn’t know shit.

But she would be lying if it didn’t stick in her head after a younger fan offhandedly commented post-show that “she seemed so unfazed, ‘specially since Bianca said yes.”

“Yes?” she said making a face, “to what? More dick?”

“Uhhh…” the fan faltered

“The ring, one dick for life ammirite?” her friend said, going for a clumsy high five despite the fact that he was clearly drunk.

What the fuck? Adore thought but she brushed off the interaction, making her way outside to smoke a joint.

She would be lying if she didn’t think about sleeping with the dude who gave her a light. But she was with Roy, and she trusted him even if her mind was spinning.

Replaying their last conversation and scrolling through their texts (he hadn’t responded to her last few messages which was giving her pause) had filled the next few nights after her show. So who could blame her when she chose clubs and friends’ shows over sleepless nights thinking about if him.

Alaska’s shows were always a good time especially when a new promoter was trying to woo her (and her friends) with free booze. Adore, now exceptionally tired and irritated by the comments on Instagram was taking full advantage of all the goodies. She was teetering the line between not cute and full on messy when she got two picture texts from Dela.

Dela: ??

Dela: U ok?

Dela: Love you!! Don’t get too drunk k?

Dela: We can go get fucked this weekend

Head already spinning from the alcohol she opened the first image to find a screenshot of a snapchat of Roy from behind. He was arm and arm with another guy, completed relaxed head tucked into his shoulder. The snap read

“@thebiancadelrio and his boo! They got engaged last week! 💎💍 #onedickforlife #sucker”

Adore felt weak. No, it couldn’t be she thought as she swiped to the second photo Dela sent. Also a snap, except this time Roy was in a loose hug with a man in medical scrubs. “Bitchin with @thebiancadelrio” was scribbled in bold red at the top. But that wasn’t what caught Adore’s attention. It was the small understated text in the bottom left corner that said @KyleVittar congrats 👨‍❤️‍👨

Adore’s stomach dropped and her heart began to seethe. Kyle. His fucking ex. What the fuck. And suddenly, even though she had done a line and more shots than she could count, it became clear. The missed FaceTime calls, the unanswered texts. The fucking trip home that he cancelled last week. It hit her swiftly. So she did the only thing she could think of, block him on both Instagram and Twitter, and hit up Alaska for another line.

–

Two blunts and four tequila shots later, her face was finished. And sure she wasn’t fully there anymore, but wasn’t that the point? Somewhere between shot two and three her trembling lips turned to a scowl and her brow became furrowed.

“Adore is this the final set list?” a PA asked.

“Yeah, no wait.” She grabbed the list and hastily added another song to the end of her first act. “Now it’s good”

“Okay, thanks. You’re going to be ready to go in 15?”

“Sure dude,” she said as she downed another shot trying to forget the pit in her stomach and the roar of anger in the back of her throat.

–

When she walked on stage she was greeted by a packed club, some of her sisters who were there supporting her and many screaming fans.

“Who’s ready to party!!” she yelled, temporarily forgetting the emptiness.

The crowd went wild, ready for her new music.

“Well guess what motherfuckers I got some songs for ya. This first one is a banger, hope you like it”

She had chosen this particular song to start to show because it was one of three songs on the new release that wasn’t about him. Plus it was a bop if she could say so herself. Letting the alcohol take over her soul she danced about the stage. And if she stumbled (literally) or almost fell, her fans were nice enough to brush it off and continue to cheer her on.

“Glad you bitchasses liked that. I don’t really wanna sing any of the other songs so howdoyouguysthinkaboutmejustrepeatingthat all. Night. Long?” she yelled into the mike. After repeating it (twice) she noticed her fans were kind of done with it, to put it nicely.

“Okay okay I get it. Next. On to the next. Might cry. But here we go, this one is called Always.” She pulled the mike away from her face and in a small voice, one very unlike herself, she said “I hate when Always has an expiration date,” and then she began to sing.

After that she sang two other songs from her new album. Her voice cracking a little more at each one as she pushed down the hurt and anger that had enveloped the last few weeks.

“All right motherfuckers, one more in this set. It’s not from my album but it might as well be,” she said raising her glass for another swig before beginning.

There were a few murmurs from the crowd as some tried to figure out what exactly she meant.

The opening lines were messy and rough and she let the song take over

Everybody wants to know

If we fucked on the bathroom sink

How your hands felt in my hair

If we were high on amphetamines

“The first time,” she interjected, “was so. fucked. up.”

And everybody wants to hear

How we chain-smoked until three

And how you laughed when you said my name

And how you gripped my hips so mean

“That fucking fucker!” she yelled.

We wrote a story in the fog on the windows that night

But the ending is the same every damn time, no, no, no

We wrote a story in the fog on the windows that night

But the ending is the same every damn time

She screamed the last line, blinking back tears. She couldn’t believe him. Tonight was supposed to be a celebration of her album, a celebration of them.

“Guess what? Even the pretty boys lie. Even the fucking old ones.”

They think I’m insane, they think my lover is strange

But I don’t have to fucking tell them anything, anything

And I’m gonna write it all down, and I’m gonna sing it on stage

But I don’t have to fucking tell you anything, anything

That’s the beauty of a secret

You know you’re supposed to keep it

That’s the beauty of a secret, oh oh oh

That’s the beauty of a secret

You know you’re supposed to keep it

But I don’t have to fucking tell you anything,

Everybody’s waiting up to hear if I dare speak your name

Put it deep beneath the track, like the hole you left in me

And everybody wants to know ‘bout how it felt to hear you scream

They know you walk like you’re a god, they can’t believe I made you weak

As she belted out the last line she knelt on the ground, miming how Bianca got (unofficially) crowned by Jinx and Shangela. “Fucking done,” could be vaguely heard through the cheers of her crowd.

She finished the song screaming, tears racing down her face. Sure it was punk, but it was also the most real she had felt in a while. She dropped the mic, walking off the stage. So much for celebrating a finished album, she thought. Finding the same hard spot on the concrete floor of the dressing room she reapplied her mug and downed what was left of the tequila. Somehow she managed to be upright and present enough, just enough, barely enough most would say, to sing in the second act, to thank the fans for coming and when the show was over, to make her way into the club to celebrate with old and new friends alike. This time, she knew that if drunk her was horny she was going to fix that. Fuck Roy. Fuck Bianca. He wasn’t the only big dick that wanted her. And with that thought she placed a sloppy kiss on some guy with a cute ass.

–

The next morning he stumbled out of bed, almost face-planting on his bright pink wig.

“Fuck.” He rubbed his eyes which produced a concoction of various eyeshadows on his hands. He groggily made his way to the bathroom to deal with the only thing he felt capable of handling - his bladder. As he opened the door he came face to ass with whoever he brought back last night.

“Fuck, you going?” he asked, not bothering to wait for an answer he closed the door and staggered back to bed but not before swiping his phone off the nightstand.

He scrolled through his Instagram, snap and text notifications until one caught his eye:

Willow💕: What the fuck pussyface?

#rpdr fanfiction #bianca del rio #adore delano #biadore #angst #smut #strange love #passion victim #tw drug use and heavy drinking #canon compliant #tour fic

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dustedmagazine · 5 years

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Dust, Volume 5, No. 2

Abjects

It must have been the polar vortex, forcing Dusted writers to stay in out of sub-zero weather and coercing them to focus on records they’d been neglecting. That’s the most plausible explanation for this especially robust edition of Dust which covers black metal from Tunisia, free jazz from Chicago, desert blues from the Sahara and a punk band from all over the place. This edition’s contributors include Jennifer Kelly, Jonathan Shaw, Patrick Masterson, Ian Mathers, Isaac Olsen, Nate Knaebel and Bill Meyer.

Abjects—Never Give Up (Yippee Ki Yay)

Never Give Up by Abjects

Punk rock is the common language for this globe-hopping threesome, the singer/guitarist Noemi hailing from Spain, bassist Yuki from Japan and Alice, the drummer, from Spain. Their slash-and-bang aggression softens, just a bit, in tight, dizzy harmonies in cuts like the title and “Long Way to Go.” Others, including the single, “The Storm” stutter and swagger on hard staccato foundations, while sweetening the pot with all-hands vocals. This is basic stuff, executed with a certain amount of flair and skill and broken by occasional blistering, shreddy not-exactly-class-of-1979 guitar solos. All three members have spent time in the U.K. and have strong opinions on EU membership. Their “Fuck Brexit” rampages and rolls in rapid-fire repugnance, with a snarling tangle of guitars, a tom-tom fury of drums. You might hear hints of Reading Rainbow and Grass Widow in the vocal-centered cuts, but “Awake” is pure, four-slashing, garage punk, a la L7 and the Ramones, but with a tiny bit of an accent.

Jennifer Kelly

Ayyur — The Lunatic Creature (Sentient Ruin Laboratories)

The Lunatic Creature by Ayyur

“Lugubrious Fields” is the first and most interesting track on The Lunatic Creature, a new EP by Tunisian black metal act Ayyur. Like the other songs on the tape, “Lugubrious Fields” is driven by layered guitar riffs that crackle and buzz with anxious menace. Melody manages to cut through the guitars’ miasmatic fog, and vocals, supplied by bandleader and songwriter Angra Mainyu, growl and whither, emerging and disappearing back into the thick mix. Much of the track lingers at midtempo, held there by the riffs’ accumulated power. Don’t let the relatively exotic sound of the phrase “Tunisian black metal” fool or titillate you — this is pretty conventional stuff, evocative by turns of the USBM Cascadian movement and then of tougher, more orthodox acts like Aosoth (and it should be noted that former Deathspell Omega vocalist Shaxul provides drums on this record). But if midtempo black metal is your thing, this tape is worth a listen.

Jonathan Shaw

Dawn — New Breed (Local Action)

new breed by DAWN

Goldenheart was the record that put her on the map, Blackheart got all the attention and Redemption was the overly long attention-getter, but the more I listen to New Breed, the more I think this is the record Dawn Richard was meant to make. It’s not a pristinely polished pop production a la Goldenheart or anything Janelle Monáe’s done since The ArchAndroid (though it likely won’t surprise you to learn that Monáe reached out to Richard last year either because of or as an inspiration for the latter’s cover of “Pynk”), and it’s not the purely synthetic club constructions of Redemption or the Infrared EP; if anything, this is a little disjointed and sloppy – song transitions can be fairly abrupt and the sonic arc can zig and zag across R&B, funk, soul and pop with political sutures loosely keeping the theme. But it holds together just enough to be her most exciting album, and certainly the one with the most potential for a wider listenership than just futurist R&B enthusiasts. Put another way: It’ll be a travesty if you don’t hear “Dreams and Converse” playing from every bodega, bank lobby and beat-up SUV in five months.

Patrick Masterson

DenMother — Past Life (Counting on Downstairs)

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“Face,” the opening track of now-Fredericton (by way of Toronto) based DenMother’s new record both marks the end of a busy year (2018 saw releases in January, June, and here December) and exhibits a contrast that gets right to what makes Sabarah Pilon’s work under the name always compelling. The first sound you hear is a lilting melody of what sounds like a synthesizer trying to sing like a person; before too long, it’s joined and almost (but not quite) overwhelmed by a more obviously machine-based blare of sound, a thickly sliding, grinding tone. It might sound like those elements are incompatible, or that they wouldn’t mesh well with the song DenMother sings over them, but the result feels perfectly natural. And if “Face” makes for a great example of the kind of music DenMother’s been making for years now, Past Life also shows some new dynamics and approaches, whether it’s the bereft upright bass-and-voice intro to “All Black” or the more heavily textured, submerged songcraft of “Not a Likely Story.” Past Life features both, in the form of the guitar reverb and vocal refrain duo of “The Desert,” one of the starkest DenMother songs and, in the warmly embracing and emotional ambiguous “Fish Cars,” maybe the best example of her ‘classic’ sound in a year or two. Here’s hoping for a similarly active 2019 from one of Canada’s best hidden treasures.

Ian Mathers

Etran de L'Aïr — No. 1 (Sahel Sounds)

No. 1 by Etran de L'Aïr

In the decade or so since Tinariwen broke through in Europe and the US, there’s been such a glut of Saharan records that it’s easy to miss a real stunner when it comes out. Easier still when said stunner is by a budget wedding band from Agadez and released by the prolific boutique label, Sahel Sounds. If you also missed Etran de L'Aïr’s No. 1 when it came out last year, don’t wait any longer to pick up one of 2018’s most dopamine releasing LPs. Recorded live outside the band/family’s home in front of an ecstatic crowd, Etran’s music, with its flashy but oh-so-sweet interlocking guitar lines and unwillingness to let a good groove go to waste, sounds like a stripped-down, scrappy, North African garage rock version of Congolese soukous. After the throat-clearing first track, they never touch the ground. Pure pleasure. Highest recommendation.

Isaac Olson

Ex-Display Model— Ex-Display Model (Self released)

Ex-Display Model by Ex-Display Model

The fact that Ex-Display Model, as of their debut, sound a little bit like Fujiya & Miyagi isn’t a big surprise. Plenty of listeners tend to identify bands via vocalists, for one thing, and F&M’s David Best has one of the more pleasingly indelible voices in the field. And in fact, Ex-Display Model started out as a solo project for Best, before he started working with AK/DK’s Ed Chivers, so when the opening “Immaculate Rip” channels a tinge of F&M’s cool, sardonic electro-rock it’s hard to be upset by more of a good thing. But then the song channels a malfunctioning guitar pedal for a much more abrasive chorus, and this taut, sharply formed debut is off the races. Whether it’s adding Au Revoir Simone’s Annie Hart on the reflective, melancholy “Autopilot” or going slightly glam on “Swing of Things” (or, for that matter, doing one of the best straight Motorik homages in a while on “Torschlusspanik”) Ex-Display Model wind up distinguishing themselves easily from either parent project, while offering some tantalizing glimpses of where the project could go further, starting from this basis next time around. The closing title track channels the duo’s instincts towards both dense repetition and thrilling squall into a fine climax — display-ready or not, here’s hoping for more from them.

Ian Mathers

Foster / Young / Zerang—Bind the Hand(s) That Feed (Relative Pitch)

Bind the Hand(s) That Feed by Michael Foster / Katherine Young / Michael Zerang

Bassoonist Katherine Young and percussionist Michael Zerang first encountered New York-based tenor / soprano saxophonist Michael Foster when the latter musician came to Chicago to participate in the 2018 Exposure Series . Originally conceived as a residency to bring an out of town composer and a group of Chicagoan improvisers, that year the event played out as a sequence of encounters between local improvising musicians/presenters and their counterparts in other cities around the USA. Coming from different aesthetic corners and generations, they build out from common commitments to improvisation and extended technique. You can hear them figure out what works as the set progresses. Things start with a scrape and a rasp; Zerang loves friction, Foster sucks and gargles, and Young magnifies and distorts her instrument’s woody timbres with electronics. After an initial fractious dust-up, they pull back to explore micro-sounds, patient gestures and complementary contours. The trio collectively realizes such a fertile environment that it’d be a shame if they didn’t re-convene to see what else they can grow in it.

Bill Meyer

Hoover / “Hoover1” 12” (Nowt Recordings)

HOOVER1 by nOWt

No DC post-hardcore, vacuum cleaners or unloved blanket-bearing presidents need apply on René Pawlowitz’s latest alias, pardon, release as Hoover. The Frankfurt producer best known as Shed (but certainly willing to go by a number of other names — just look at that list) has recently been exploring throwback rave music as a style beyond his usual triangulation of techno, house and dubstep. Unlike the 12” he put out for XL as The Higher in November, which featured prominent vocals, brash synths and uptempo percussion experiments, the Hoover vinyl is a more restrained effort. For evidence, check the almost stripped-back feel of the a-side, which uses the common trope of a distended female vocal sample before an all-enveloping astral synth swoops in around a little before the two-minute mark. But that’s as far as he’s willing to wade into these waters – the percussion holds station and remains clipped. The half-stepping b-side, meanwhile, is a sumptuous after-hours burner that arguably does less than the a-side; it almost feels like a cut better suited for the Workshop crowd. Beautiful studies in sound design and mood both, but if you were looking for something a little, er, higher, Hoover’s probably not going to get you there.

Patrick Masterson

The Hunches — Same New Thing (Almost Ready Records)

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The popular narrative attributes the heavily scare-quoted garage rock revival of the early-2000s to bands like the Strokes, the Hives, and the White Stripes. Let me tell you something, no disrespect to Jack or Pelle, but that's just fucking dumb, and you should know that. It started right here and it pretty much ended here, too. The Hunches would get louder, artier, and weirder leading up to their demise in 2009, but these previously unreleased 2002 demos (some of which would appear later in revised form, while others are completely new to the world) find the band in a raw, feral state. Hart Gledhill sound sounds like he's about to cough up a lung and rip his heart out on every song, and guitarist Chris Gunn takes aim with rapid-fire KBD riffs, drags the listener through rusted shards of post-Stooges shrapnel skronk, and then offers the necessary first-aid in the form of chiming, downright melodic leads. Same New Thing shows that while everyone else was playing "Incense and Peppermints," the Hunches had been playing "Psycho" all along.

Nate Knaebel

Jovan Karcic—2015 (Scioto)

2015 by Jovan Karcic

Jovan Karcic played guitar in the agitated pop punk band Gaunt during the 1990s, and he’s currently sitting in on drums for the raucous punk band Scrawl. You might not expect his latest solo album 2015 to be as sleek and full-throatedly synthy as it is, or to recall the lush keyboard atmospheres of the Cure or the chilled funk syncopation of smooth R&B. But there it is, Karcic’s songs are gleaming, surging masses of synthethic sound, which slip from self-searching confessionalism into ambient reveries. 2015 looms much larger than your typical bedroom-recorded autonomous songwriter project, with brighter, more polished textures in service of its down-on-its-luck narrative. “Larry’s,” for instance, visits the colorless desolation of a mid-American tavern, the kind with pinball machines and pool tables and decades-old alliances scratched in initials into table tops. And yet it’s recorded in what might be the very opposite of kitchen sink realism, with booming dance-floor rhythms and thick layers of keyboard interplay and a 1970s Dire Straits-ish guitar solo erupting out of the interstices. “Lesserman,” later on, draws a contrast between the downbeaten “Lesserman” and the more successful “Betterman” who “eats breakfast with his kids, and looks them in the eyes,” and confides that, “today brings opportunities for joy.” Yet though the track intensifies when it gets to the “Betterman” verses, with massed vocals and additional electric keyboard parts, Karcic’s heart is with “Lesserman.” Maybe 2015 is “Lesserman” imagining an impossibly happy ending, lush, sweetened with keyboards, pulsing with a positive rhythm, while outside sleet needles down on dirty streets, and tomorrow is never a better day.

Jennifer Kelly

Eli Keszler — Stadium (Shelter Press)

Stadium by Eli Keszler

You need people to fill up a stadium, and this record sounds like just the tool to expand Eli Keszler’s audience. His past work has included kicking out the jams with Oren Ambarchi and wiring a pumping station for sound. They’re worthy endeavors, but not ones likely to pull a stadium-sized crowd, or even an audience like his recent mates Oneohtrix Point Never and Rashad Becker might draw. So Keszler has recontextualized his extraordinary percussive technique and his abiding concern with spatial sound by pairing them with more accessible sounds. The opening track “Measurement Doesn’t Change the System at All” (a claim that physicists could dispute) combines a creeping Farfisa melody and sprinting, undeniable groove. The vibraphone and bass drum on “Flying Floor for U.S. Airways” are magnified until they are as thick and plush as sofa stuffing; the patter of dryer drum and stick sounds manifests a clear focus point in an otherwise cloudy space. And while

“Fashion of Echo” begins with a typical Keszler gambit, using rapidly and precisely articulated shifts between the different parts of the kit to suggest a three-dimensional configuration in motion, there’s more forward momentum than in the past. Stadium sounds rather like something Aphex Twin might achieve if he took up the drums.

Bill Meyer

Kukuruz Quartet — Julius Eastman Piano Interpretations (Intakt)

Julius Eastman Piano Interpretations by Kukuruz Quartet

George Lewis’s liner notes underscore the precariousness of Julius Eastman’s profile. From promising beginnings as a performer and a composer of avant-garde classical music in the 1970s and 1980s, he spiraled into obscurity and homelessness and was almost forgotten. If not for the luck, if you can call it that, that the current concern with elevating under-heard narratives, for which Eastman certainly qualifies — black, queer, an extraordinary singer, an acutely challenging composer in an idiom more likely to borrow from people of color than to follow their lead — follows his death by only a couple decades, would he be totally forgotten? So let’s take the emergence of an album dedicated to his work by a European piano quartet as a good sign. Bright recording and exacting performances make this an easier listen that some of Eastman’s own performances, and the density made possible by the use of four grand pianos amplifies the archness of “Evil Nigger” and the spiritual aura of “Gay Guerilla.” Two less notoriously entitled pieces, a robust exercise in overlaid patterns called “Fugue no. 7” and a long, barely there exploration of the piano’s innards named “Buddha,” round out a set well worth hearing.

Bill Meyer

loscil – Submers (Kranky)

Submers by loscil

Kranky continues their reissue program of Scott Morgan’s earlier work as loscil, bringing his second album Submers (originally released on CD in 2002) out on vinyl. loscil records tend to operate on two levels, with the immediate/visceral impact of his richly soothing and/or foreboding music (still, at this point, fairly summed up as “ambient dub”) working hand in hand with some sort of conceptual angle for both artist and listener to meditate upon. With Submers, it was submarines, including the Russian Kursk, which had recently lost all hands after a torpedo mishap during a naval exercise. While more recent releases have shown just how well Morgan can fold in the work of collaborators, on this record he’s working strictly from sample sources and composing using a custom-built sequencer, no synthesizers or acoustic instruments involved. The result is an enveloping, suitably aquatic sound world from the shimmering, gently pulsing opening track “Argonaut I” into a solid hour of engrossing deep sound. Morgan has continued to refine his work but there’s a reason Submers brought him to wider attention at the time - it’s still one of the highlights in one of the most solid discographies in ambient music.

Ian Mathers

Lucille Furs — Another Land (Requieum for Un Twister)

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The first thing you hear is a bassline borrowed from “Come Together,” the second a hazy overtone of keyboards and guitars. Lucille Furs, out of Chicago, are deep into a 1960s psychedelic lode, with hints of Love and the Zombies wafting through their low-key lysergic tunes. Slanty, surfy-toned guitar splinter the air in “Paint Euphrosyne Blue,” chortling organics burble up through the tune. It’s more emphatic than most of these tunes a fuzz-garage raver in line with Black Angels or the Allah-Las. Elsewhere the vibe is sleepier, but still enticing. While not exactly overstuffed—there are only five of them and the most exotic instrument is a mellotron—these songs feel plush and carefully arranged. Baroque garage pop isn’t really a category, but maybe it should be.

Jennifer Kelly

Murderer — I Did It All for You (Toxic State)

I Did It All For You by Murderer

With just an extremely short 2013 demo to their name, Murderer went recording and came back with this 15-tracker released in the dying days of December that picks at a scab of more than just straight-ahead garage vibes: There are the gentle chimes that color the margins of “Piece of Candy”; that lazy, burned-out surf riff on “Cowboy” and “Moonlight”; the creepy dreaming of “Juicy Fruit Dream”; the slightly overbearing keyboard flourish on “A Diamond Just for You”; the fact that there are four different tracks all called “Perfect” here; and so on. Featuring commanding drum work by Sam Ryser (also of Crazy Spirit and Dawn of Humans) and guitar and vocals courtesy Hank Wood of thee Hammerheads, the thing that came to my mind after a first listen was Pink Flag-era Wire, but the taut post-punk goes in enough different directions to get you racking your brain for better analogs from the turn of the ‘80s. “I need it to be perfect / I need it to be real / That’s just how I feel” each “Perfect” intones; in its own way, it certainly is that. Great album for the fuckin’ record reviewer in your life.

Patrick Masterson

Doug Paisley — Starter Home (No Quarter)

Starter Home by Doug Paisley

The title track of Doug Paisley’s Starter Home is the sort of perfect instant classic that most songwriters on the folk/country spectrum spend an entire career hoping they’ll write. While “Starter Home” and its autopsy of middle-class aspiration, repression and stasis could have been written anytime in the last 60 years, it has particular resonance ten years into a housing crisis that only the wealthy think is over. Nothing else here is as good as “Starter Home”, but “No Way to Know,” “Mister Wrong,” “Drinking with a Friend,” and “Waiting” come close. The other four tracks are all worth hearing at least once, too. Like Paisley’s previous records, Starter Home is a better-than-average folk record with a handful of knockouts. He’s going to have an incredible Best Of collection someday.

Isaac Olson

Manuel Troller — Vanishing Points (three:four)

Vanishing Points by Manuel Troller

Rock dynamics shape the music that Manuel Troller makes with Schnellertollermeier. In KvG’s Bottom Orchestra, he shifts nimbly from chamber music to free improvisation to shattered chanson. But when the Swiss guitarist plays solo, it’s all about the possibilities of his gear. Troller could not get the tones he gets without a plugged-in signal chain; with it, his sounds range from feathery cirrus to fractured granite. He uses delays to freeze moments of motion, sometimes to subject them to examination and other times to use chunks of digital stutter as building blocks. This description may sound a bit clinical, but Troller has a knack for turning sound into experience. Sometimes this record feels like flight, other times like you’re stumbling around in a dark and cluttered factory space, but it never feels like a guy just fiddling with his strings and boxes.

Bill Meyer

Jamila Woods — “Zora” single (Jagjaguwar)

LEGACY! LEGACY! by Jamila Woods

The Zora Neale Hurston quotation I keep returning to in listening to the second single from Jamila Woods’ sophomore full-length Legacy! Legacy! is, “I love myself when I am laughing … and then again when I am looking mean and impressive.” The 29-year-old Chicagoan is exuding confidence from every pore on this three-minute track, luring you from the soft power of “I tenderly fill my enemies with white light” to the leveling of “You will know never everything, everything / I will never know everything, everything” to the outright ascension of “I may be small, I may speak soft / but you can see the change in the water.” In a word: Recognize. The gorgeous harp flourishes, sparsely echoing synths and dusty groove of the beat, accompanied with backing vocals mixed to accentuate rather than overwhelm Woods’ lead, further illustrate who is running the show here. As Hurston also once said, there are years that ask questions and years that answer; for any doubters left after 2016’s Heavn (and aren’t there always a few), May’s Legacy! Legacy! should firmly weed them out. Get ready.

Patrick Masterson

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dcarevu · 5 years

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Batman TAS: Joker’s Favor

“She can't open the door and push it in all by herself! THINK!”

Batman the Animated Series. Teaching the dangers of road rage since 1992!

Episode: 22 Robin: No Writer: Paul Dini Director: Boyd Kirkland Animator: Dong Yang Airdate: September 11, 1992 Grade: B

Char’s main reaction to seeing this episode for the first time was, “My girl!!” She loves Harley (and Poison Ivy). For me too, it’s nice to finally introduce Harley Quinn to the DC Animated Universe. Of course, back when this episode initially aired, it was also her introduction to the world of comic books in general. Written to be a one-off henchwoman to the Joker, wow, who would have seen the massive Harley Quinn storm coming. I was working at Party City when Suicide Squad came out, and by far the most popular costume we sold to young girls and women alike was Harley Quinn. People who know nothing about Batman are at least a little familiar with her. Sometimes even more familiar with her than the Dark Knight himself. And good lord, have fun trying to buy a copy of Batman Adventures #12 for a decent price. Even reprints can cost you around 100 bucks. You know how annoying that is for someone who just wants to own a physical copy of the damn thing to read?

I can only assume that Suicide Squad was the major catapult for the hype surrounding the character. I don’t remember seeing her around nearly as much before. Although I’m sure the Arkham series helped a little bit too. And I won’t lie to you, I’m a little salty about it. Oh, believe me, it’s definitely petty “nerd rage”. Or maybe you could call it the “hipster effect”. What annoys us about liking something for so long, and then, much later, finding out that it suddenly blows up with admiration? It’s stupid, this should make us happy, right? But yes, to let the cat out of the bag, I really do love Harley Quinn’s character. At least, the DCAU version of her. I’ve never seen Suicide Squad, I’ve never read any of her comics outside of the DCAU tie-ins, and I’ve never seen any episodes of other Batman cartoons with her in it. Doesn’t particularly interest me (not that I’m directly opposed). But I know that in the DCAU she’s really interesting, she’s a lot of fun, and some of the best moments of the entire series involve her heavily. The Laughing Fish, from what I remember, is up there among my favorite episodes. And how about the flashback in ROTJ? That’s one of the best Batman stories ever told, period. She’s not my favorite villain by any means, but the show would definitely be missing something without her. Speaking of her roles in the DCAU, maybe that’s where that “hipster effect” comes from. Maybe we get salty when people are oblivious toward a character’s…or a band’s…or a show’s…or whatever’s…early days. Yeah, that’s gotta be it, right? When Pokémon Go was new, I saw people complaining because these kids hadn’t played the original Red and Blue versions. And no one would ever really get annoyed if an old album by Blink-182 suddenly spiked in sales. No, it’s only when someone discovers new stuff and isn’t familiar with anything before that. I’m not saying this behavior is rational, and I hate it whenever I feel this way (for the record, I defended those kids just getting into Pokémon through Pokémon Go who were being shit on by “gen-wunners”). But it’s a possible explanation. Maybe we feel that people are missing out or not putting in the effort to fully appreciate/respect a thing and why it is the way it is.

Even though Harley Quinn was an amazing addition to the series, she didn’t exactly start out that way. Ignoring her popularity, she doesn’t particularly stand out in this episode, at least, not to me. But she must have back then. Fans liked her so much, she started appearing in the Batman Adventures comics! But I won’t start complaining about Batman Adventures #12 again. At least, not yet… Of course, where this is the first Harley episode, it figures as such that Paul Dini is the writer. This episode shows us again that he knows how to write a great story to be taken seriously, but also knows how to inject a lot of fun into it. That seems to be what separates Dini from some of the other best writers. A lot of the most serious episodes are really damn serious, with virtually no fun to be had. But Dini throws in some cheeky bits. Harley, for example. Or Batman coming down with a cold in Heart of Ice. It’s certainly welcome, but honestly, I prefer episodes like Two-Face a little bit more. And that’s why I’ve settled on a B for this episode. Yeah, I know. Everyone raises this episode up on a pedestal and says how much of a classic it is. I won’t argue with y’all. It’s an important episode, and it is entertaining. But it’s not as entertaining as a lot of other episodes to me. I like it. I don’t love it. Sue me. Char actually felt the same way, so I’m not alone there. She loved the Joker, as usual, and loved seeing “her gurl” Harley, but as far as the actual episode goes, she only liked it. Strangely enough, I have virtually no complaints. For the most part it’s pretty flawless, unless I really want to nitpick at stupid shit (like when Joker points out Charlie’s hair-loss when he has the same amount of hair as earlier). Probably the only thing that actually made me scratch my head was during the scene where Charlie threatens Joker with one of his own bombs. Why did Charlie know it wouldn’t explode, but the Joker himself didn’t? The only thing I can really think of is that Batman was in on the joke, and rewired the thing. But that doesn’t sit too well with me either. Oh, and also the scenes involving the fight amongst the recreated temple was a little hokey, and didn’t match a lot of the flow. It was too random-seeming, plus the idea that all of these death traps would remain active is ludicrous. We do get the Joker at some of his best, though, and we even hear Batman laugh in-costume (a first for this series). If there’s one thing Batman shouldn’t do often, it’s use the bat-laugh. And the writers knew when to use it well. Just wait till Mad Love. As long as they don’t have Batman sing… I will now turn my head toward my Justice League Unlimited set and stare at it with a dead smile for a few seconds.

And what about the crime prince of clown himself? I think we get the most insight into his mind out of all the Joker episodes so far in this one. The first two Joker appearances were just sorta goofy romps that you would expect, and the next one (Be a Clown) was an episode of lesser entertainment value. Here, we take the best elements of the Be a Clown Joker and fuse it with the Joker we got more from the other episodes to create what I would consider to be the definitive DCAU Joker. Let’s go over it. Y’know those maniacs who chase you down the street just because you made the tiniest mistake while driving (sometimes it might even be more their fault than yours)? Well imagine if when they caught up to you, you saw that they were a psychotic, killing clown. That’s fun… After this happens to Charlie Collins, the Joker threatens to kill him, but ends up sparing him so that over the next two years, he can have a fun time of basically tracking, stalking, and keeping up with this man. I like this because, on one hand, it seems so silly that he’d want to do this simply because of a traffic incident. Like, doesn’t he have better things to do with this time? But also, the Joker knows that every day, Charlie lives in fear that the Joker will find and contact him. It’s the manipulative aspect that we saw in Be a Clown coming out. The Joker takes pleasure in ruining lives. We also have the whacky side of the Joker seen in The Last Laugh with how ridiculous the concept is. Going back to the hair-loss comment mention earlier in passing, I actually think it would have been really clever to start him out with a full head of hair, but then show him super bald later on, showing that the stress of it all had really taken a toll on him, despite his seemingly great life.

Well, then, the Joker has Charlie fly over to Gotham just to open a door for Harley. Yeah. Open a door. I friggin’ love this twist. He’s like an Alice In Wonderland character, having seemingly no rhyme or reason for anything, but you know it all somehow makes sense in his twisted head. We know this because of what he manages to pull off, and how dangerous he is. If he truly knew nothing, he wouldn’t escape Arkham time and time again or get away with nearly as much as he does. And then finally at the end, we have some moments of scary Joker-rage paired with the Joker actually yelling to Batman for help. It’s such a sudden mood change, and you have to question whether or not the Joker’s anger was real. If it is, that makes it scarier. He’s like a meth-addict. We also see the Joker shove Harley Quinn to the side so that he can get to the phone, a very early look at the abusive relationship that we don’t see in full until later down the line. Like I said earlier, Harley was supposed to be a one-off, so this likely wasn’t Dini’s intent to display, but in hindsight, it’s got a much different light casted on it. It shows how much care was put into these stories, making everything match up, even if it wasn’t the initial plan.

This opening shot looked pretty stilted, reminding us that it’s essentially a cell being moved to the right.

Our main character, Charlie Collins. I wanna know what kind of fashion statement that haircut is. The “vertical rat tail”?

That moment of realization. Great job of capturing that immediate regret. It’s like he was brought back to reality, but sent into the Twilight Zone all at the same time.

The Joker knows how scary he is.

This shot was kinda funky with how bright some of the Joker’s features were.

The Joker appears rather large when in comparison to the character who is supposed to be in front of him. This happens at least one other time in the episode. It adds to his threatening aura here, though.

“Oh please, don’t insult me.” the Joke retorts when Charlie assumes that he’s being robbed of money.

Been missing these guys! Haven’t seen enough of them!

Jim: “If anyone should be getting a testimonial it’s you!” Batman: “I’m just the nightshift. You deal with this mess 24 hours a day. That’s what those people want to honor.” The most endearing friendship on the show. He even then proceeds to ask Batman where he can rent a tux.

The Joker playing darts backwards. Throwing them at the commissioner.

Harley Quinn’s first appearance ever! Bruce Timm did an excellent job with her design. Also, another instance of Joker looking rather large. Apparently perspective isn’t Dong Yang’s strong suit.

And then the Joker proceeds to do a perfect backflip. Damn, he’s limber!

Me too, dude. Also the Joker was throwing darts right above this guy’s head.

Somehow a better license picture than any I’ve ever gotten. Also we have confirmation that, in the DCAU at least, Gotham City is in New York.

“Leave the sideburns.”

An unsettling shot as they circle around Don’s (Charlie’s) block, threatening his family.

“Any way I could sneak out with you?” Me too, dude. Lines like this add so much character that gimmicks or statements about them could never reach.

“Sir, I believe you may be needed inside.”

Bullock hitting on Harley. How does he look like even more of a sleaze when spiffed up for an event?

Montoya’s look of pleasure when Bullock gets whacked in the shin by Harley’s baton. Also, them cheekbones.

“...okayyy, we’ll tough it out here.”

Joker’s sudden mood-swings combined with his delivery from Mark Hamill are obvious callbacks to the Blue Meanies in Yellow Submarine.

Charlie, about to shove a bomb up Joker’s ass. “Batman! Batmaaaaan!” Actually, y’know what this reminds me of?

This great moment.

Joker, relieved to see Batman. “<gasp> How long have you been there?” We also get, “You’re no fun anymore, Charlie.” If there’s one thing Joker can’t stand, it’s getting upstaged when it comes to the crazy.

A solid episode for sure, but for those of you who only know about Harley from her more recent shenanigans (and you don’t have a genuine interest in watching a Batman cartoon), check out The Laughing Fish instead. And for those of you following along with me for the long haul, join us next time! …Crikey!

Char’s grade: B

Next time: Vendetta Full episode list here!

#harley quinn #joker #dc animated universe #batman tas #joker's favor #jokers favor #batman the animated series #the joker #batman #dcau

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sierrabinondo · 6 years

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summer tour 2018 - days 1 - 4

welp tumblr i am back again with a new tour recap!!! people liked this last time so here i am i guess

this tour recap is mostly for my own reasons. there’s something different about documenting something life-changing and important to yourself on a social media site you’ll probably be subject to visiting again without trying, as opposed to writing it by hand which hurts after a while or in a word document that you’ll never open.

my band with sails ahead just embarked on our longest tour ever. 11 shows, no off days. we somehow still got sleep, ate well (and went broke for it), and didn’t get sick. it wasn’t perfect every night, but it was still rewarding even in the smallest possible ways.

i decided to recap this across several posts as an easier way to read everything instead of one long one that would serve as a painful, arduous read. so here are days 1-4.

day 1 - asbury

our tour kicked off in asbury, so we were home for our first day. it was sort of difficult to get in the mindset for tour but once destination dimension arrived i was good.

in asbury i always passed this storage trailer-looking building with palm trees all around it. it turns out it’s called outpost city, and it’s an oasis for touring musicians to come hang out while on the road. it’s invite-only (i think?? PLEASE check me), and we were contacted a week before tour started to go check it out. i already promised work i was going to work a full day my last day but hooooly we could not turn this down. this place had a lounge area, a small demo studio, free wifi, and a general store with product placed in there by brands that you could grab FOR FREE. as long as we tagged the brands on all of our social media the stuff was ours. we spent a few hours there before the brewery show and it was really fun. i had to do work the whole time as a result of leaving work early haha, but i still enjoyed it a lot.

Photo: Julie Yi Photography

the brewery show was awesome. i didn’t play the greatest set so i was super bummed haha, at least i don’t think, but we had a great turnout. the line-up was awesome and we got to see a lot of friends. sound was amazing and as always the brewery is just the coolest venue. really grateful we could finally play here. i was so glad people showed up early to see destination dimension so that they at least had a crowd. a lot of my friends cared about making it in time for them which was nice of them. it was incredibly weird to have ryan watch us while another drummer was playing with us, we all felt so bad. we were so distraught leading up to this tour about him not joining us due to his carpal tunnel, but we had no choice. our friend and fill-in drummer matt shindle killed it and the show made us excited for the rest of the run. i think i said a cool and inspiring thing that made everyone yell very excitedly but then i followed it up with some lame shit so it ruined the moment lmao.

Photo: Julie Yi Photography

i returned back to my house in brick with destination dimension and jeremiah came with so that we had one more night together before i left. i was feeling a little better about leaving but i wouldn’t actually be excited until we were finally in the van.

day 2 - falls church, va

after waking up mad early on like 5 hours of sleep only, i got ready to leave as julie was dropped off at my house to drive up to bandago together. i cried as jeremiah said goodbye to me because i’m a big dumb baby and never ever spend time apart from him haha.

the drive to virginia took forever. i was so exhausted but for some reason it was impossible to sleep in the van. and then i led us to the wrong holiday inn; our actual hotel was so far that we just had to check in late and go straight to the show. the vfw was actually a pretty cool spot. it was nice to be in falls church again; the last time i was there was when i was a kid and my aunt and uncle lived in an apartment way before they had my cousins.

Photo: Julie Yi Photography - us with pulses, destination dimension and a couple members of timberbrooke!

turnout wasn’t huge at all (a pattern that would repeat itself lmao) but all of the bands were super nice. of course, we were extremely stoked to play with pulses. i felt bad because i kept screwing up faces, names and bands at first but it ended up being fine. our friends said i played more confidently this show than the night before but it didn't feel like that. i felt like i sounded like shit and i looked like an idiot lmao. on stage, there’s actually a million things going through my head while i'm singing. i almost wanted to throw the microphone at one point but can’t do that!!! i also apparently sounded better but i still have issues believing people when they say i sang well, because people lie to other musicians all the time and tell them they're great just to be polite. i warm up before every show and do diaphragm exercises but if my throat fucking feels like shit from my allergies and tight and dry there's nothing i can do. the humidifier doesn't help. there's not a day where i don't practice. i wish my body wasn't so unforgiving haha.

well the korean BBQ spot next door was cool lmao and there was a dog at the show. our hotel room was nice but the furniture was so oddly arranged. it was difficult to make room for the air mattresses but we made it work. i shouldn’t talk though because hotel rooms on tour are a luxury haha.

day 3 - greensboro, nc

the drive to greensboro was just a little stressful because of the torrential downpour, and a car accident happened right in front of us at one point lmao. but mostly, the drive was so serene and beautiful. we drove through the blue ridge mountains and listened to the new anthony green album. this is what i love about touring, getting to see these beautiful sights. i think i almost cried hahaha.

we arrived to greensboro and the block we were on for the gig had some sick spots. we got vegetarian food at this place called boba house. the food was incredible. and then the venue, new york pizza, had $3 craft beer!!! insane. i didn't drink the last tour and i said i wouldn't this time but i remembered we were going to be in a position to try some region-specific foods and beers, so i let myself have a sunshine gose from birdsong brewery after our set. it was soooo good. yeah funny thing was, i actually drank A LOT this tour. last tour i was super sheepish about it, but this time i was going to be in too many new places to not try local beers. it didn’t affect me as much as i thought it would but i believe it still did to *some*extent. i also couldn't resist the touch tunes juke box and helped myself to playing santana again like the last tour hahaha.

the turnout was decent but everyone the headlining band brought (and the band themselves) stood outside for every band. at one point joe went outside as we were about to go on and yelled at everyone saying “hey guys we drove a long way to play the show come inside” i was mortified lmao. sadly, you cannot make people care about you, they have to show interest on their own. BUT, obviously he was saying what we were all thinking. listening to a band play from outside the venue does not always mean you are paying attention to the bands. they didn't even come inside for one single song for any band. if you can’t make the people you bring stay for the bands, fine, but why play the show at all if you don’t care about the touring bands?

Photo: Julie Yi Photography

chris, the vocalist of destination dimension, was a huge huge help to me on tour. he gave me really great honest criticism and it helped me work on some bad habits i have while performing. i know i’m a big baby and all but i can take critique and i wish more of my musician friends were more honest with me. it shows they care because they don’t let me blindly wander around just repeating the same awful habits. for the first time i also wore both earplugs in while singing but it only lasted two songs. i know it’s foolish to not wear them, but i cannot stand how i sound with earplugs in, it fucks me up just as bad. i used to use earasers but i was sick of pissing away $40 everytime i lost them. and i'm not capable of not misplacing something, i know i'll lose them again. i wasn’t too happy with my performance this show either but the people watching us were cool and attentive. wes was so kind to hook the show up for us, and we loved the dudes in impersona. really fantastic band.

later that night shindle realized he left his laptop charger at the venue. we were using his laptop for interludes and his click tracks. it was too late to go back so we decided we’d go back in the morning before leaving to go back to charleston. but sadly the venue didn’t have it and we absolutely had to move on to the next city. i felt so bad. however we were able to make our tracks still work on my personal laptop that i brought.

day 4 - charleston, sc

charleston was a little rough lmao, but still fun. as always we arrived just in time to check in to our hotel, get food and pull up to the venue for load in. we stayed at a holiday inn, and we were hoping since it was a hotel that the room would be nice and big but it wasn't. the beds were huge though. after checking in we noted that a counter service-type grits restaurant was across the parking lot. i was going to try to only buy one meal per show day but it looked like the next day i'd be buying grits for breakfast haha.

it was an insanely hot day. in fact, the hottest day on tour. it was bad. it was at least 90 degrees or more out especially with the humidity but whatever, we were heading to the venue soon so we would hopefully find relief there. something i was ABSOLUTELY adamant about was that we ate cookout. for anyone who doesn't know, cookout is a chain based in the south that serves southern food and super cheap, filling meals. you can get a “tray” which is like one main meat or dish, two sides and a drink for $5.29. the tour package met there to eat before load in. stopping made us late, but there was no way in hell we weren't going and i was making sure of that lmao. and it was worth being a lil late i think, i think everyone liked it. santino bought twice the amount of the tray he ordered hahaha.

so we finally get to the venue, which is tua lingua - and

there's no

air

conditioning

we had zero idea this place had no central air. i had no idea the place didn't have it!!! but otherwise the venue was a very sick spot. like out of the blue in cambridge (rip), but much much bigger. they had numerous amazing art pieces, a dark room and an interactive bubble exhibit. the staff was very nice. we did our best to play the best set we could with the heat. at certain points it was even cooler outside the building because the hot air just wasn’t moving out. we almost cut our set short out of fear of not being able to handle the heat but we made it through. we also had to play without our tracks but that was fine. a couple people named jesse and fianna came to the show because they heard about it from the hemisphere facebook group!! so awesome. zacoma also made us a custom copy of their CD based off our tour marketing it was so fucking sweet of them!! i don’t have the photo of it otherwise i would have shared it but when i get it i’ll post it. them and hollow notes made the show a great one, i highly recommend both bands. i bet tua lingua is sooo sick to play in cooler weather just not in the summer haha.

photo credit: julie yi photography LOOK AT HOW SWEATY I AM.

because the show ended massively early (THE DREAM), i suggested going to the charleston waterfront since we had time to explore! santino was wary because the poor guy was starving, but he agreed to spending 30 minutes of walking around. so the tour package drove out to the waterfront/rainbow row and we walked around for a while. it was sooooo beautiful out, i was so happy to see the town again. a guy jumped in the pineapple fountain as we were dipping our feet in to dig for change and he was in there for an hour HAHA. we also ended up staying an hour because we were having so much fun. there was another fountain nearby you could actually walk through. maybe it wasn't actually allowed but there were no signs so whoops!! we went from just sticking our hands in the jets to santino and jaime sticking their whole fucking heads in i was screaming laughing hahaha. it was a very happy and pure moment.

on this tour i learned a lot of new things about santino, one of which is that he apparently really likes milk LMFAO. and we had to like run around to try to find somewhere open that would have milk and cookies but everyone settled for taco bell. we went back to the hotel to watch aggretsuko but netflix kept glitching and the screen would black out whenever subs were on the screen i was so pissed. but we enjoyed a very wonderful night of going to bed early.

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erhiem · 3 years

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Feather muthaland, Bibimutha’s songs play as if she is rebuilding her confidence in real time.

Photo Illustration by Renee Klahr, Aamna Ijaz/NPR; Courtesy of Muthaboard

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Photo Illustration by Renee Klahr, Aamna Ijaz/NPR; Courtesy of Muthaboard

Feather muthaland, Bibimutha’s songs play as if she is rebuilding her confidence in real time.

Photo Illustration by Renee Klahr, Aamna Ijaz/NPR; Courtesy of Muthaboard

NPR Music Turning the Tables A project envisioned to challenge sexist and exclusionary conversations about musical greatness. So far we’ve focused on reversing traditional, patriarchal best-of-lists and popular music history. But this time, it’s personal. For 2021, we’re digging into our own relationships to record the records we love, asking: How do we know as listeners when a piece of music is important to us? How can we break free from institutional pressures on our tastes in keeping with the lessons of history? What exactly does it mean to create a personal canon? Essays in this series will explore our unique relationship with our favorite albums, from unmatched classics by major stars to sub-cultural gamechangers and personal revelations. Because the way some music holds a central place in our lives is not just a reflection of how we develop our tastes, but of how we approach the world.

In April, two days after my partner got his second COVID-19 vaccination dose, a friend sent us an invitation to celebrate his birthday at a bar. “I’m not sure,” I said, citing CDC guidelines to wait at least two weeks before socializing. But I had another idea. While some dreamed of nail salon appointments as a return to normalcy, and others fled to Airbnbs on the outskirts, I suggested making a noise on the phone once again with the crew, three Geminis and Taurus.

Our first time together was in 2019, which we regarded as a rite of passage, playing Kendrick Lamar good kid, maed city (an epic, if not prestige update for the specific soundtrack) as our visions began to blur. More than anything, I noticed how the psychedelic influences calmed the ticking urgency I felt on a daily basis in order to make productive use of my time. That kind of urgency became too much to bear last year: With the world still in a pandemic holding pattern, I was also eyeing my 35th birthday in June, and I needed to answer questions from family incessantly. Didn’t feel closer – to where my career was headed, or whether I would have children, and if so – than it was ten years ago. Naturally, I didn’t tell this to my friend.

While I certainly yearned for pre-pandemic normalcy, or perhaps a time where my age was not nearly as consequential, I was also inspired by muthaland, Chattanooga, Tenn., the first album of 2020 by rapper Bibimutha. muthaland Helping me take myself out of this pressure to live up to everyone’s expectations. The album begins by promising a good time; In the opening skit, a game show contestant swallows an acid tab to enter Bibimutha’s world. This realm of her imagination ends up as a tangle of feelings and thoughts, where not a single factor – not her career or single motherhood – completely defines who she is.

I first heard about Bibimutha in 2016. Not long before artists like art rocker Björk embraced her. Even in this crowded music landscape, it’s hard to forget an artist who names their debut EP after an iconic makeup palette, or whose moniker dates back to their mid-20s as having two sets of twins. The latter is considered a badge of honor. Early singles like “Rules” and “Rose” were the talk of a smoky-eyed relationship that could make women completely in agreement (“I’m not going to waste my waist, my thighs, my time, and all my energy/effort. Can *** * which just not for me”). The ambitious concepts he had in mind for his debut album also looked promising. his first thought, prosperity gospel, as a result of her love-hate relationship with televangelist pastor Joel Osteen (“He can sell any f****** thing and you’ll just spend your money,” she once said). Later, she stated that she planned to call the album Christine; It would be inspired by a relative who killed men who either betrayed her or abused her.

Yet I didn’t really connect with Bibimutha until we were both at the peak of our frustrations with our careers. In July 2020, Atlanta’s NPR affiliate WABE dropped under the map, a Southern hip-hop podcast that I co-host, just as overall podcast listenership began to return to pre-pandemic levels. and until muthaland Arriving last August, BbyMutha was completely disillusioned with the music industry. “After this album I’m never doing it again,” she said. This rap retirement announcement ended prematurely, although at the time, listeners mourned the lost potential. In muthalandLong after that tab swallowed one of the most indulgent rap fantasies of all time, BbyMutha is a next-gen LA chat with wordplay inspired by Gucci Mane, a rare woman who navigates traps and orders sex from across the gender spectrum. But Bibimutha also emphasizes in “Holographic” that the journey is a “rave with roaches” swirling around her house. At the height of her musical talent, she could still find a place where she falls short.

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As the oldest of my cousins, I spent most of my life in Maryland oriented around achievement and success, setting a good example. After graduating during the 2008 recession, the older I’ve gotten, the harder it felt to be, shortly thereafter separated from my first and only 9-to-5 to pursue a culture journalism career. moved to Atlanta for what seemed frivolous or self-indulgent before this “Essential workers” became part of our lexicon. (“My mom actually ran away from the Vietnam War when she was 16, so I could see” My Block: Atlanta For work, I’m not a s***,” i once joked.) I attributed my lack of hustle to this fear of failure which only intensified over the years. and before muthaland, I looked for music that helped me wrestle with or push through those feelings. open mike eagle dark comedy Soundtracked my uncomfortable entry into the gig economy after college. I still turn to trap jeezy songs Let’s get on this: Thug Inspiration 101 Or DouBoys Cashout’s “started out as an activist” for a momentary boost.

In the spring of 2019, I learned that this persistently worrying and ensuing fatigue had a name: generalized anxiety disorder. (I’ve kept it a secret from my family; my uncle once said that Asians “take too much pride in going to therapy,” as statistics following the Atlanta-area spa shooting would show.) As I tracked my sleep and panic attacks in one notebook after another, I learned that perfectionism—my once default answer to job interviews—is, “What’s your biggest weakness?” – not really to be seen in a positive light at all. Still, my mother’s way of asking “How are you?” Keeps “Are you busy?” and “Are you making money?” And I still answer “yes” every time. It has taken me almost all the time in the past two years to accept that self-awareness is still a work in progress.

Last December, my therapist gave me an exercise regimen that I still use today. In a moment of crisis, I write down the first negative thought that comes to mind (“I always make the wrong decisions,” “My career is coming back,” “Christmas is ruined”). Then I write through a reality check, as if interviewing myself: Are all these ideas true? Or is there evidence that this situation is not as dire as I had feared?

I recognize this train of thought muthaland. Songs like “Roaches Don’t Die” become anthemic because when Bibimutha brags and boasts, it’s like “You don’t f*** with who’s who with who’s government stamp and wic, huh?” Like what happens between songs. When she looks in the mirror and longs for the confident woman she once was (“I miss that b**** sometimes”) she descends on a personal statement in the face of “heavy metal”. “They see the truth when they see me / They see they aunt and they mom and grandma, gee,” she raps. “They look in a mirror, it ain’t clear / I’m afraid of everything being b*****.” At the end of “Scam Likely”, Bibimutha mocks the pseudo-awakening, drag race-savvy listeners who insist on having her as a role model (“And she makes me feel so empowered that ****** is empowered – and i up“). I get her reasoning: Role models seem impenetrable. Bibimutha’s songs sound like she’s rebuilding her confidence in real time.

During my last visit, my therapist told me to work on my definition and measures of success. I still don’t have concrete answers that translate into neat life goals, though maybe that’s an answer in itself. muthaland Teaching me to lower expectations that may read as plausible but ultimately prove untenable. Its themes confirm how I felt after my first 2019 visit, which is that scientists should revisit the psychological properties of hallucinations, even after decades of government-imposed stigma. Bibimutha’s lyrics demonstrate that motherhood, as it would be, cannot replace a sense of self. Neither would career ambitions, for that matter: muthalandThe most obvious nod to any kind of rap pantheon is “outro (skit 5).” Game show hosts thanks “sponsors” Boosie, Webby, and Diamond and Princess from Crime Mob — and then in 19 seconds, it’s over. muthaland otherwise completely untouched by discussion about Rap’s Mount RushmoreHow sales and clout factor into greatness. In how its soul-searching slowly unfolds during its hour-long runtime, the album is teaching me that position is not everything, but timing is.

In the flurry of excessive social activity between getting vaccinated and preparing myself for the Delta version, here’s what I’ll remember most:

The post-vaccination journey that finally took place on a Sunday in May. By 6 p.m. the effect was gone, though my partner reading the tarot gave to our friend, the second Gemini, didn’t wrap up until close to midnight.

The first time I heard BbyMutha’s “GoGo Yubari,” a harsh indictment against her baby daddy and the nature of how she became a baby mama: “Another violent story, another self-esteem destroyed.” BbyMutha released it in June, one of several loose and unreleased EPs from this year. muthaland. (Thank god she didn’t actually retire.)

Finally, a passing comment from a friend ahead of her 35th birthday this month. The keyword was “milestone”, with this weighted expectation we had already achieved, suggesting that all this was not enough. “I’m always here to talk about it,” I said, and I meant it. After the past year of working as a stand-in confidant of BbyMutha, I feel ashamed personally, or a shame at all.

christina lee is a music and culture writer living in Atlanta. She co-hosts the podcast under the map.

The post BbyMutha’s ‘Muthaland’ Is Teaching Me That Status Isn’t Everything : NPR appeared first on Spicy Celebrity News.

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wavesofinkdrops · 6 years

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Reckless

@no-rules-no-responsibility asked: I've got it: Alfred and Ivan are "working together" to complete a mission, but in actuality, they're trying to get the other one killed. And it's proving kind of difficult in the way like how Wile E Coyote can't manage to kill Road Runner. Have fun!

This took way, way longer than I thought/would have wanted, and I’m sorry, but this is also a lot longer than I’d thought it would be. Anyway, here we finally have this, and if you want to listen to what got me in the mood for writing, it was mainly the album Visitors by Lazerhawk - space vibes everywhere. Anyway, enjoy!

Warnings: Alfred can’t and won’t stop swearing, they’re both jerks and dorks, and there’s injury and violence. Only minor though. And minor character death.

“Why are you still so bitter?”

“You abandoned me on Zaskar.”

“I thought you were dead!”

“After you threw me right in the middle of ten Imperial Guards, yes, I would understand the confusion.”

“You survived, stop bitching.”

“Only after I managed to harm six of them, outran the rest, hijacked a short-range capsule, navigated to their moon, managed to buy my way out of there and then locate you in the next star system.”

Alfred raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, how’d you find me there?”

“I knew you would try to pull some stunt to attempt to get me off your ship.” Ivan still did not lift his eyes from the screen he was swiping through. “I assumed you knew I have trackers in here,” Ivan said as he shrugged innocently, his lip almost curling into a smirk at the outraged huff Alfred gave.

“You have more than one?!”

“Yes. I am not stupid.” Ivan glanced at Alfred over the screen. It was hard for Alfred to really take Ivan seriously when he was floating upside down (in Alfred’s perspective) and completely ignoring him. His long black synthetic coat was sprawled around him, almost as if fittingly surrounding him in a cloud of blackness (and innocently flashing some of his weapons at Alfred whenever the coat shifted slightly. Alfred had once thought zero-gravity was awesome, until the bastard he was stuck with ruined that, too. “Unlike someone.”

“Don’t start, Braginsky, or I’ll eject you straight outta this ship right now and you can kiss goodbye to your sweet fuckin’ prize or whatever.”

Ivan snorted. “I thought the reason I am here is because you needed my help.”

Alfred’s annoyance flared, but he merely exhaled heavily in his irritation. He grabbed the wall and pulled himself towards the command module of his ship, if only to do anything else than to see the asshole’s face another second.

“Remember to change our direction, your angle is off.”

“Fuck off!” Alfred shouted back, and Ivan was left alone in the general section of the ship. It was modest, not too big to be easily spotted but large enough for intergalactic travel.

Alfred dodged the random cables hanging from the roof of the ship as he glided through the sections and corridors of the ship - cables that he had been meaning to fix, but all in due time - and found the module. After inputting the new directions, he pulled himself into the pilot’s seat. He fiddled with random buttons here and there, and kept checking the ETA.

Two hours.

He turned on the small screen set into the control board, before tuning into the update channel.

“The Imperial Guard is monitoring any and all movement into and out of the Cirris system, galactic standardised class 29903-RZZ, while Zaskar and its moons are under heavy surveillance. There are still no signs of the two outlaws…”

Alfred checked the digital counter again.

One hour, fifty-eight and a half minutes.

He groaned, turning off the screen and letting his head fall against the back of the chair. Before he knew it, he was flipping the small light above him on, and off, and on, and off, and on-off-on-off-on-off-

“Are you really that desperate to avoid me?” Ivan laughed. Alfred cursed his own damn stupidity.

It had been barely two weeks.

Not even, a week and five days, and he was so fed up with his “partner” that he’d tried to kill him or have him captured or otherwise incapacitate him five times. No, wait, six, if he counted that one time when they stop to restock and refuel and he’d purposely called the Imperial Guard on both their asses. It had almost backfired when it turned out Ivan had done the same.

If he counted right, he knew Ivan had obviously attempted the same four times - but he also doubted the other three times were “accidents”.

Just two hours, they would be in the building, he could off his ex-boss and then he could get rid of Ivan and continue on happily to the next highest-bidder-

“Are you even awake?” Ivan asked as he pulled himself in the seat next to Alfred’s.

“I’m gonna get myself something to drink,” Alfred mumbled and started to pull himself to the storage sect.

He should have known that Ivan’s, “do whatever you want,” sounded too happy. He wasn’t even halfway there when one of the remote-controlled openings to a hydraulics system compartment opened right in front of his face right in the middle of the corridor where he was and that he slammed right into.

“Fucker!” Alfred shouted to no-one as he held his nose, but when he was sure there was no blood floating around he slammed the door shut and continued onwards. This time, more carefully.

It would be a hellish two hours if this kept up the same.

Then, of course when he reached the kitchen facilities, Ivan’s voice blared across the entirety of the ship.

“Why don’t we just warp to the system?”

Alfred simply ignored Ivan’s question and went about opening a Basic Sustenance Package, or more commonly a Basup. He ate it, washing it down with some recycled water, before warily making his way back to the command center. When he arrived, Ivan turned to him with an expectant look.

Alfred looked at him like he had suddenly grown an antenna (although, Ivan did already look enough like the hulking Glathorians even without an antenna, and Alfred would preferably not remember his one-time encounter with that bunch).

“Because we’d get detected?”

“Out here? Really? Have you tried?” Ivan asked, his hand gliding dangerously over some of the buttons on the panel.

“Don’t you dare, unless you want us arrested before we even get to the goddamn galaxy- Ivan - Braginsky I’m warning you-”

Ivan simply smirked and flipped the lid off the green button that had once been labelled “Hyperwarp.” However, there was no longer anything left of the text, seeing as Alfred had once been very fond of the button in some occurrences of high-speed, cross-galactic chases. He’d luckily grown out of that.

Now Ivan’s finger was threateningly close. “I suggest sitting down, ladies and gentlemen, this will be a bumpy ride.”

“Brag-!”

Ivan pressed the button, and Alfred could almost feel the increased rumble of the hydraulics as the nuclear reactor at the ship’s core whirred to life, hydrogen fed right into its heart.

Alfred scrambled for the chair, the acceleration of the ship increasing gradually faster, and made it just into the seat before he felt his back almost melding into the seat.

After what felt like an eternity, the speed slowed down, and the moment he could Alfred slammed on the forward gas ejectors, releasing all the buildup of Helium from the reactor-motor, which - as it had been pent up at high pressure - released at such a high-speed the ship immediately slowed significantly.

Alfred breathed in annoyance, before his train of thought kicked in. He immediately turned on the E.-M. wave interceptor, switching immediately to search from gamma-ray transmissions downwards. If they had been detected, it was unlikely they were yet anywhere closeby, and so transmissions would have to be almost undetectable with standard-issue transmitters/interceptors, and would have to be high-frequency waves. Alfred had happened to call in a favour for an Elmag XI receiver (a tweaked model of the latest high-end electromagnetic transmission receiver), and boy was he ever happier he had called in that favour. If Ivan had gotten them into trouble…

But as the receiver searched from exahertz frequencies downwards and found nothing, Alfred grew suspicious. Ever since that one hyperspeed accident because of coordinate-crossovers some years ago, the Transport and Commerce Agency had managed to get Senate approval to monitor any and all warps and demand that any hyperspeed requests be passed through them first to avoid such accidents.

Alfred glared at the radio as he adjusted their coordinates, before noticing Ivan had been oddly silent for a bit. Turning to look at the other man, he saw that Ivan was peacefully laying with his chair leaned far backwards, as if he had the least worries in the Universe. Alfred really did regret ever accidentally destroying Ivan’s ship. Their first encounter had not been pleasant, but once Ivan had noticed that Alfred was heading the same way he was, he demanded that instead of paying for the ship Alfred get him to where he wanted to be. The situation got worse when Ivan got wind that Alfred wanted to murder the same person from whom Ivan had business with. Unpleasant business - and that had meant Ivan was more than damn pleased to accompany Alfred on his trip.

“What did you do?"

Ivan didn’t even open an eye. “Me?”

“The fuck did you do to my ship? Why has it not been tracked?”

“I do not know, perhaps a burst of jumbled interference might have scrambled their systems, I suppose, too long to notice a slightly less significant movement across a galaxy.” Ivan opened an eye. “Oh, look, only five minutes of the trip left!”

Alfred couldn’t believe the nerve of the guy, but he had to admit that if they had not indeed been caught, then he had some brains. Alfred turned back to his command panel, grumbling about morons made in moon laboratories, before directing them to the planet that was already in visible range.

The next five minutes were spent in silence, Ivan having left to gear up (how he managed to carry so many weapons in that stupid coat of his, Alfred didn’t want to know). Alfred finally made it in range of the control tower, and radioed his Identifiers (falsified, of course) to them and obtained permission to land. He pressed the intercom button.

“I need you to obey me 100% so that we can get there safely!”

It took the entirety of a minute for Ivan to reappear at the doorway of the command cabin. “You must be incredibly dense to think that will happen.” As an afterthought, he added, “Probably more dense than a singularity.”

Alfred glared at him, and as Ivan left, Alfred shouted after him. “Well, fuck you too!”

It wasn’t long before they’d managed to land on the planet, and were weaving their way through the crowd to the tallest building in the entire city.

“So, what is your business with him? You are a hitman, are you not?” Ivan asked as they made their way through the streets, lined with stalls of exotic and

“I prefer the term assassin, it has more of a professional ring to it,” Alfred responded, merely indulging the other because he had nothing else to do. “And why do you care what I want with him? I let you do what you want and then I do what I want with him, quick and clean,” Alfred said, though he knew very well Ivan wasn’t getting anywhere near his guy before he was either dead or in Imperial custody.

“Merely curiosity.”

“We’re here.”

The building was daunting amidst the low-rising housing around it. Tall and dark, it rose high into a sky of molten lead. Its industrial steel-plated facades allowed small lights from offices here and there to peek out of windows, many towers. Alfred urged Ivan on, and they made their way to a service entrance of the building.

As Alfred fiddled with the lock, Ivan broke the silence. “Do you know your way around the building?”

Alfred hesitated. “I know the basic layout.”

Ivan narrowed his eyes at Alfred’s hunched back. “And what exactly does ‘basic layout’ entail?”

Alfred huffed as the door gave way. “It means basic layout, Braginsky, you’re gonna have to lay the fuck off if you want my help. Age before beauty,” Alfred snarked as he let Ivan in first.

They entered the building and Alfred led them through the maze of corridors of the service sector. They stood out in stark contrast against the almost sterile organisation of the place, Alfred dressed in his biopolymer trousers and artificial leather jacket, with two guns at his hip and his otherwise rugged appearance, and Ivan in his dark coat, worn scarf and the multiple weapons strapped to his legs and the outlines of many others inside his coat. Perhaps they should have considered dressing less conspicuously, but now was really too late. And anyway, once inside the main sect of the building they wouldn’t be so out-of-place.

They stopped in a maintenance room, Alfred standing guard while Ivan switched off the main alarms (the minor ones were easier to trip so he decided not to fiddle with them). He also placed long-range interference, so that whatever security was in the building’s vicinity could not call for reinforcements if and once they were found out (both of them had a price on their heads, Alfred for obvious reasons, Ivan for theft, arson, smuggling, black market,... the list went on).

Once they came to the entrance hall of the main tower, Ivan immediately noted the appearance of those he supposed were security guards of the building.

There was also a very noticeable amount of Imperial Guards in the grand hall.

“Jones-”

“Shut the fuck up, I know,” he hissed back.

Alfred simply continued ahead, and made his way towards the lifts. Ivan began having a hard time keeping up with the smaller man who had a much easier time working through the crowd of people than he did. It was only luck that he caught Alfred changing directions right before the lifts, because he’d noticed there were far too many guards near them (Ivan also held the theory that Alfred had most likely tried to get Ivan to run straight into the lifts).

Alfred glanced backwards and noted that his poor attempt at losing Ivan hadn’t worked. He then headed for the stairs, knowing that each staircase led up only about five or ten floors, so they would have to switch multiple times - needless to say that concern for people’s safety in case of a fire hadn’t been as much of a concern for the building’s architects as its security had been.

“We’re really climbing all the way up to the top of the building?” Ivan asked as Alfred checked they hadn’t been followed (as much as he wanted to hinder Ivan, he didn’t want to get caught).

“What, is that too straining for you? If you wanna stay down here by yourself while I go finish my business, be my guest,” Alfred said and began climbing up the stairs. They were almost through the third floor when already the door on the landing above them opened and two Imperial Guards walked through.

A split second of thinking, and Alfred jumped over the railing of the stairs he and Ivan were on. He made sure to land with as much noise as possible on the staircase below, definitely attracting the attention of the guards - right onto Ivan.

He heard the snarled foreign curses behind him as he hammered down the stairs to the landing below and slammed the door open to the second floor, before hurling it shut and blocking it with a heavy potted plant that was right next to him. A second after he’d done that, he felt and heard a body impact the door - undoubtedly Ivan’s - and Alfred dashed into the second floor. There seemed to be little more here than offices, and there were enough people for him to blend in should there be guards walking around. He thought it highly doubtful that Ivan would have gotten out of the ambush alive.

After having met the unmoving door, Ivan made his way to the floor below and found the door there, too, unlocked. He went through it, hearing the shouts and footsteps following him. The floor was almost completely empty, and - Ivan grinned as he darted for the trash chute. He opened the small door, and peered upwards. It went multiple floors above him, so he flicked on the magnetic attachment on his gloves and climbed through it in time to hear the door of the second floor bang open. He began climbing, and made his way up quickly.

Alfred went to the elevators, frantically pressing on the button going up and constantly glancing over his shoulder. Perhaps no-one had noticed there had been two criminals instead of just Ivan, so he might be safe for the moment. Alfred exhaled briefly and ran a hand through his hair to look less dramatic than he might have, with tousled hair and cheeks slightly flushed from bouncing around staircases. When the lift arrived, Alfred sauntered in ostentatiously, as if owning the entire building. The short Malrainian, whose scales flashed ominously in the lighting of the lift, eyed him with boredom as Alfred announced his floor - 67.

He wasn’t actually hoping to get that far without having to exit the lift, but it turned out his exit came sooner than he expected, only on the fifth floor: security guards had entered the lift, and Alfred walked out as casually as possible. He knew that the security guards were most likely very dim cronies, but they sure as hell would recognise Alfred (his old boss had a pretty price on his head, and this wasn’t the only star system the guy had investments in - his influence was broad). He mentally gave himself a five-second countdown and the moment he heard the tell-tale clank of the laser gun setting he sprinted. He knew there was an office with a glass ceiling on every floor (surveillance purposes, really, they were almost like two-way mirrors, except they were merely painted glass - always placed underneath conference rooms to make sure no weapons were strapped underneath the tables or anything).

Alfred tried to recall the layout of the fifth floor, and opened a door that led to someone’s office. The woman stared up at him in surprise, before her shock turned to outrage. Alfred glanced up and noticed he was not in the right room, and instead made his way further down the corridor. After about the fourth try, he managed to finally find the room he was looking for and shatter the ceiling of that office with a well-placed resonance-inducing pulse - and by extension the floor of the conference room above it. He climbed on the metal railings that had served as support for the glass and pulled himself up to the room, making his way to the corridor outside.

Deeming himself safe enough, Ivan manoeuvred another door open, roundabout the sixth floor, if he had counted right, and climbed back out into a similar corridor, also empty.

Momentarily.

It couldn’t have been twenty seconds after Ivan had landed on the floor that Alfred came busting through a door that led who-knows-where, winded and wheezing until his gaze met Ivan’s hulking form.

Alfred seemed to pale considerably, and Ivan could have guessed that Alfred had most likely not expected to see him again after his staircase stunt.

“What a coincidence, Mr. Jones! We meet again, in such a short time!” Ivan chirped in an unamused tone and with a dry smile on his face.

Alfred’s eye visibly twitched and his hand wanted to reach for his weapon, but Ivan’s threatening look stopped him from doing so. Instead Alfred pivoted on his heels, and walked in the same direction from which he came.

“Alfred, could I ask you where exactly you are going?”

Alfred whipped back around. “Anywhere except where you’re going!”

Ivan looked amused. “You are really so desperate to avoid me so as to get yourself into custody for it?” he asked. “Certainly, be my guest. I suppose there will then be more fun for me.”

Alfred inhaled deeply. “You’re an asshole.”

“Don’t attempt to kill me so often, and I might tolerate you,” Ivan responded as he began making his way back to the trash chute.

“Aren’t you one to talk!” Alfred shouted after him, but began following him. “Where’re you going?!”

Ivan simply began adjusting his gloves before opening the chute. “Up. You managed to warn them of the staircases and clearly the elevators too, considering you apparently smashed through a floor to get upwards. Rather inconsiderate of you, and rather lacking in sense, seeing as you want to get upwards as much as I do. So, I am going up.”

Alfred huffed but began digging his pockets, searching for the suction discs and finding them, before following Ivan’s lead. Once he was in and climbing, he realised a slight problem. “Uh, we’re not gonna be climbing the whole way up, are we?”

He heard Ivan snorting, the sound reverberating in the hollow tube. “Is it too high for you?”

“Yes, it fucking is!” Alfred nearly let go of his discs in his incredulousness, but managed to hold. “Dude, it’s like seventy floors!”

Ivan fell silent, but after a moment continued climbing. “Which floor are we on?”

“Why would I know?”

Ivan rolled his eyes. “I merely thought you would care enough to count, if you have such an issue with going up.”

“Just - fuck off, Braginsky, I’m going back in, and good fucking luck getting up there and outta here with your loot and whatever else ‘cause I won’t be here to help you-” Alfred ranted as he opened the chute again onto another floor, probably some five floors above their previous one at least. Ivan sighed and followed behind. Once they were clear on the floor and no guards were in sight, Ivan grabbed Alfred’s arm and twisted him around to face him.

“Stop being melodramatic for a minute, and if you wish to keep playing our game, so be it. Whoever makes it to the top first can have their due first. Is that good enough for you?”

Alfred eyed him suspiciously. “Deal.”

“Good.” Without further ado, Ivan strode past Alfred and briskly made his way to the staircases. Alfred stared after him for a moment before trying to figure out some way to get up without using the stairs.

His gaze landed on a vent.

The air ducts would have to do for now.

Ivan and Alfred ended up crossing ways a total of six times in the next forty-five minutes.

The first time, Ivan had seen Alfred stare him right in the eye as Alfred simultaneously dropped a knockout-gas bulb into a room full of guards on a break, effectively nearly knocking out Ivan had he not ducked out of the room with his gas mask on in time.

The second time Alfred dropped down from a ventilation duct right smack on top of Ivan. There was some confused and flustered hissing before Ivan succeeded in shoving Alfred off of him.

The third time, Alfred had stumbled right into the midst of Ivan in close-combat with a set of at least five guards - Alfred hadn’t really had time to count before he received a complimentary punch to the jaw. Ivan had quickly sorted out the guards and Alfred had managed to regain sensation on the left side of his face.

“What was that for?!”

“Zaskar!” Ivan hurled back at him.

Alfred paused to roll his eyes. “Still?! Get over it, man!”

“Not quite yet,” Ivan fired back before disappearing again.

The fourth time was when they spent three minutes arguing in the elevator before both were chased out around the twenty-seventh floor.

The fifth time, Ivan ran right into Alfred around a corner, and they ended up following one another for the entirety of two floors, with Ivan attempting to distract Alfred long enough to lose him (but never quite succeeding) and Alfred attempting more than once to drive Ivan into more-than-lethal situations (too bad Ivan had a habit to check the situation before diving into a room).

The sixth, Alfred paid Ivan back for the punch by swinging a detached piece of piping like a bat right into his gut (to be fair, Alfred hadn’t known it was Ivan; he had come running around a corner when Alfred had been expecting the Guards chasing him to arrive).

Ivan arrived to the last floor, and Alfred was nowhere to be seen. After having knocked out whatever guards were hanging around the entrance to the main office of the building - his destination - he waited for a whole five minutes for Alfred.

There was no sign of him.

After an internal debate that lasted about less than ten seconds, Ivan settled for backtracking, making his way down the floors, risking his own neck with the possible chance of getting caught, only to try and find where in the Universe Alfred had stranded himself. After having run through three separate floors, he finally heard a sound that pointed him in the right direction. Reaching it, he was met with the sight of Alfred clearly trying to talk his way out of Imperial cuffs - five Guards had caught up to him, and Alfred (on his knees, hands drawn up, a sour look on his face and weapon on the ground with another pointed right between his eyes) was talking rapid-fire nonsense to them in the hopes they would tire and let him go. Ivan watched in amusement for two and a half minutes, before his amusement quickly dropped. One of the men had began wrenching Alfred’s arms behind his back and the one holding the gun had cocked the safety off.

That sufficed for Ivan, and with no further introductions he slipped two knives into his hands and managed to off three of them immediately, the one holding the gun to Alfred’s head first, another after a moment of struggling and the final one - the one who had decided to manhandle Alfred - after a minute of uttering dangerous threats and giving him a broken wrist. Ivan finished him off before turning to the slightly dazed Alfred.

“What are you doing here?” Alfred asked as he stood up, still staring at Ivan in disbelief.

“I came to find you.”

“Find me?” Alfred’s incredulousness was rising, but Ivan had already turned back away to go up and back where he’d come from. “Wait - why find me?”

“Because I got to the office. You were not there.”

“That’s… sweet,” Alfred conceded.

Ivan snorted, glancing behind him at Alfred before continuing ahead and shaking his head. “Don’t flatter yourself. I cannot open the door.”

Bull-freakin’-shit, Alfred thought, but decided to drop the subject.

They arrived safely back to the office, and Ivan allowed Alfred to open the door (it took nothing more than kicking the door in and dramatically announcing their entrance). The man was at his desk, reading over documents - as if he hadn’t been alerted by fifty separate alarm systems of the intruders already.

Yao looked up. “Oh, finally.”

Alfred rolled his eyes. “Why are you always so dramatic?”

Ivan eyed Alfred in confusion. “That is your definition of dramatic?”

“He makes everything a powerplay, are you blind or something?” Alfred asked, and Ivan was honestly surprised at the sudden reversal of Alfred’s entire demeanour. There was something about this man that Ivan didn’t like, and that brought out something lethal in Alfred.

“Please, do sit down.”

“We’ll stand, thanks. We won’t be here long.”

“Long enough to kill me, yes?”

Alfred looked momentarily about to laugh, but then turned with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms to Ivan. “Maybe a bit longer than that, tell him about your business here.”

“Ah, so you did not bring him merely as a decoration?” Ivan’s confusion rose, and there was something in the air that made the hairs on his neck tingle. “Pity. I would have preferred not having to waste such a pretty specimen.”

Did the bastard really just refer to Ivan as a pretty specimen?

“I have my own fair share of matters to attend to and to sort out with you.”

“Alfred has not told you then?” Yao asked, leaning back in his lavish chair. His dark, silken robe flowed gently with his movements, and Ivan began despising the man for his entire existence. Whatever for Alfred hated him enough to want to kill him, Ivan could completely agree. “How very disappointed you must be, finding he has used you.”

Alfred laughed. “How disappointed you will be knowing I haven’t fucked him, Yao,” Alfred said with a frozen grin on his lips.

“I was not implying that you use every person you meet for… personal gratification, Alfred,” Yao said. “If you are here to kill me, what for did you bring-” Yao paused, looking Ivan over, before turning back to Alfred - “him?”

“I didn’t bring him. He tagged along.”

“To kill me?” Yao had raised an eyebrow, and his amusement was clear - Ivan could tell Yao thought he was there to help Alfred.

“No, to steal everything you own and everything you have to your name after I kill you.” Alfred glanced at Ivan, then back at Yao in confusion. “You’re telling me you don’t know who this guy is?”

Yao eyed Ivan suspiciously. “Is there a reason I should?”

“Allow me,” Ivan interjected, “I’d like to introduce myself. Ivan Braginsky, trade artist and acquirer of rare items.”

“A thief?”

“I have more charges to my name than just that one, but simply put, yes.”

Yao hummed in understanding, but Ivan noticed the fretful darting of Yao’s eyes as they moved from Alfred to Ivan. Alfred turned to Ivan. “Do you have any questions before I start on him?”

Ivan shrugged. “Not really, all I need is to get access to his computer database - naturally, he will not give it to me, but I can hack into it. So no, go ahead.”

Alfred grinned and the both of them armed themselves - they knew Yao had to have some sort of reinforcements at hand, and they were not disappointed. After Alfred had shot straight at Yao’s head, they were immediately assaulted on many sides by Yao’s personal security ring, and everything unfurled from there. Neither of them had time to focus on anything else but their aim and their immediate targets.

Flashes of light, hypersonic bullets fired from all sides, chaos, and then silence.

Ivan throws another writhing, soon dead body off of himself, and stands. Ivan directed himself to the computer and dug a memory stick from his pockets, running the information-collection program and finding the necessary keys and contacts he’d wanted.

“I think we can get going soon,” Ivan spoke, “right after I’ve finished. I would think it will be relatively easy for us to make our way out, there is a service corridor somewhere near. It is rarely, if ever, used. And-” Ivan paused as he continued fiddling with the computer.

He looked up.

“Alfred?” Ivan looked at the corpses, covered in blood, trying to find Alfred. “Jones, where are you?” Ivan called out, and there was suddenly a racking cough and a hand that lifted itself from the mess.

“I’m-” Alfred’s voice came, and Ivan could hear there was something amiss. “I’m here!” Ivan left the desk, making his way to where Alfred-

Oh.

Alfred was trying to lift himself up, but there was a deep, brutal gash across his chest and a seared, burnt hole in his trousers and deep into his leg - a laser had struck there. Ivan’s mind swerved to a halt.

It was only when Alfred grunted and groaned again at the pain of moving that Ivan moved. He made his way to the desk again, collecting his data and whatever else he needed before returning to Alfred. Ivan dropped down next to him and began helping Alfred to stand, and when he had one of Alfred’s arms swung over and across his shoulders, he lifted the smaller man up.

“Braginsky, the fuck are you-”

“I will get you to your ship.”

“You wh-” Alfred groaned again as he put weight on the injured leg. “That’s just-"

“I will get you to your ship.”

“You don’t even like me! Why the-” Alfred was interrupted by another grunt, before he snarled, “fuck, Braginsky, I can’t even fucking walk, how are you gonna get me to my ship? I’ll just slow you down, go tear down the fucker’s empire or something, leave me here!”

Ivan refused to listen to Alfred, instead hooking his arm under Alfred’s knees and sweeping him up.

“Whoa, hey no - what - put me down! ” As he squirmed and shifted, there was a fresh burst of blood from Alfred’s gaping chest wound, and he hissed and snarled at it. “Ivan!”

Ivan merely moved to the door, not minding Alfred’s sputtering in the least. And he made his way to the service staircase he’d spoken of, and only once had to stop because he heard shouting on the other side of the door.

“- you call me harebrained! And here you go, running around with a dead weight in your arms-”

Ivan rolled his eyes, before dropping Alfred to the ground and muffling his shout of pain with his hand. How the man wasn’t so light-headed from blood loss already as to quiet down, Ivan didn’t know. He held Alfred up against the wall, his hand still covering his mouth, and Alfred’s offended mumbling was all that filled the empty stairway.

“Will - you - pipe - down?” Ivan hissed, and Alfred huffed one final time before shutting up. “Now, I will take you to your ship, I will hook you up to your med station, we will get away from this planet, and you will not complain. I cannot afford to lose you. So you will kindly cooperate.” Ivan paused for a moment, gauging Alfred’s silence before taking his hand off Alfred’s mouth.

“Ew. Don’t do that again,” Alfred huffed as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, but Ivan merely picked him up again (the protests did not stop, but they were less obnoxious than earlier). Ivan managed to get them to a service elevator at some point, though narrowly missing a guard squad, and they were out of the building. Outside, no-one paid attention to them, but Alfred’s shuddering and shaking breaths were becoming more noticeable to Ivan, and he knew that if he did not get to their ship soon there was little chance Alfred would be waking up the next morning - with all his bodily functions intact, anyway.

Even Alfred’s rambling and complaining began turning more quiet, more absent-minded. Ivan saw the spaceship, and when they reached it he made a dash for the small med bay - granted, it may have been relatively small and barely enough to take on larger injuries, but seeing as two criminals were travelling on it with large amounts of illicit substances, Ivan figured he had more than enough to take care of whatever injuries Alfred had.

He hooked Alfred up to the life-sustenance machines, to control, regulate and evaluate his vital organs and processes, before quickly making his way to the head of the ship. He sat, started up the engine, and after he managed a rough and hasty takeoff with coordinates set he returned to tend to Alfred.

“‘Van-”

“Alfred, I really would appreciate you not speaking at the moment,” Ivan muttered as he flicked through different bottles and tubes and medicines and instruments, collecting some and discarding others as he went. “Your delusional ramblings would only distract me.”

Alfred tried to laugh, but it came out more breathy than he probably intended. For a while, Ivan worked in silence.

Head down, cut the trouser leg, check the injury, clean, balm, close, bandage.

Glance up, check vital signs, heart rate stable, breathing ragged but steady, oxygen levels good, ventilation right.

Chest, cut the shirt - “mind the - fuck - fucking jacket!” - and tear, clean the wound, check signs of infection, clean it and sew it and graft.

Eyes up, follow the lines, wait for him to stabilise.

Stable.

Good.

Ivan sighed and stood, beginning to clean the utensils and put away the substances he’d used. He had also decided to hook Alfred on the second-most powerful pain medication, at least in this galaxy.

“Man that was fucking reckless of you!” Alfred wheezed, somewhere between laughter and mindless babbling from the drugs.

“Yes, thank you, I know that. You could simply thank me for saving you, but I suppose-”

“Dude…” Alfred started, as if he were realising something just now. He tried sitting up, but was promptly reminded of his injuries. When Ivan pushed Alfred back down to the bed, Alfred looked up at him with the clearest blue eyes. “Dude, you like me!”

Ivan sighed and rolled his eyes. God help him if he ever gave Alfred pain relief again - next time, he would let the man suffer in agony. Anything would be preferable. “I suggest you just go to sleep, now, Jones, before I knock me out.”

“Pffffffffffffft,” Alfred laughed. “You wouuuuuldn’t!”

Ivan picked up the syringe and upped to dosage of Alfred’s medication. Just enough to set him to sleep, is all. “I most definitely would,” he grumbled.

“Mm-hmm, sure, right, you,” Alfred was cut off by his eyelids drooping, a yawn edging to his voice, his train of thought breaking. “I got loads more to say - tomorrow, I’m just gonna, yeah,” he finished as his eyes finally fell shut and his breathing evened out.

Ivan only hoped the medication had been enough to keep him high as a kite for the conversation.

Only the next morning, it turns out that it really hadn’t.

When Ivan walked in, Alfred had somehow already woken up. “Morning, sunshine, you look like the living dead,” Alfred said.

“Your life support and medical systems appear better than in most hospitals - how you are even able to speak after those injuries is beyond me.”

“Hah, I’m too good to be injured for too long. Or to forget what I said yesterday - and how you didn’t respond. ”

Ivan raised an eyebrow, merely fiddling around with Alfred’s tubes and cables and pretending to check his stats. “What of it?”

“Dunno. Just that first you came to save my ass from the guards, then you saved my ass again when I was like on the verge of dead. Just sayin’.” Alfred looked at Ivan with a smug grin. “All I’m saying is now that you’re done with what you wanted to do in the first place, I know you need to find a ship and all, but well - you’re welcome to stay aboard this one as long as you need.”

Ivan’s gaze faltered from where he’d been staring at the screen, and it drifted to Alfred before snapping away. “I will have to see what happens.” He left the room, but two minutes later Alfred heard his steps return. “I suppose that I can tolerate your ship as long as it takes me to find one of my own.”

Alfred resisted the urge to laugh. The man was stubborn as all hell, but then again so was Alfred himself.

Ivan ended up staying far longer than he’d originally thought. Every ship he found was not good enough - something was always amiss: not enough power, not enough storage, too simple, too complex, no hyperwarp? Don’t make me laugh, too unsafe or old.

It wasn’t too long after that, that he realised the thing missing from them was Alfred.

It wasn’t long - not long at all, actually, mere seconds really - after he told Alfred this (embarrassed scratch to the back of his neck and averted gaze and all to accompany the statement), that Alfred told him that his ship was getting a bit small for them both, to be completely honest.

And when they finally kissed for the first time, it was with the untamed fire of a newborn star, the searing heat of a solar flare and the explosive passion of a supernova.

#my writing #rusame #aph america #aph russia #space au #space criminals au #prompt #request #no rules no responsibility #injury #swearing #violence

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sinceileftyoublog · 6 years

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Bell Witch Interview: New Voices

BY JORDAN MAINZER

One of our favorite albums of the year was Seattle metal band Bell Witch’s Mirror Reaper, a moving, 80-minute, one-track metal opus centered around death. The album features two distinct halves called “As Above” and “So Below”, the first featuring previously recorded vocal takes from late founding member Adrian Guerra, who after separating from the band two years ago died of a heart attack last year. The other founding member, bassist Dylan Desmond, recruited Jesse Shriebman to replace the drums of Guerra; as before, they both sing, as does guest Erik Moggridge on the second half of the album. Bell Witch also introduced organs to their arsenal. “How do we create this new voice in what has been a bass and drum band?” Desmond hypothetically asked over the phone last month in reference to one of the many dilemmas the band faced during the recording of Mirror Reaper.

In general, for Bell Witch, the fluidity of voices is a major theme. The band was in the middle of a tour during our conversation, one in which they had been playing the first 48 minutes of Mirror Reaper up until the point the song flips, right where Guerra’s vocals stop and it becomes ambient before Moggridge enters. If they were to play the second half live sans Moggridge--alive and well and making music as Aerial Ruin--it would feel kind of empty and wrong. Playing the first half without Guerra--they have no choice--rightfully makes his absence loom as large as it has since he died.

The band does have plans to play all of Mirror Reaper with Moggridge at Roadburn 2018, and they’re planning a European tour from March to May around their festival appearance. Having just finished a West Coast tour, as you read this, they’re likely already thinking about their next record. For now, check out my interview with Desmond below, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: Did you decide during the recording of Mirror Reaper that having the album be one track was necessary?

Dylan Desmond: Yes and no. The song kept coming together, and the structure started to get finalized. I suppose it became a little more obvious that “maybe this isn’t something we need to be breaking up.” This is one song built off of one simple riff and variations. As it became apparent to us, we thought, “Well, one long song is going to be kind of annoying to listen to in one regard, but in another regard, maybe it’s fitting to what the song is and what we’re going for.” We started leaning more towards that. You kind of listen with different ears at that point. Eventually, we thought, “We can’t break this up into tracks.”

I feel that even more so playing it every night. When we finish playing--we just play the first half of the song--I think, “I’m so glad we didn’t break this into tracks.” It would have been doing a huge disservice to it.

SILY: How was the album recorded?

DD: Basically, we went through it once with the hopes of putting the drum tracks down, and a usable bass. Then we went through and did the organ and vocals after that. The main goal was to get the drums solid and keep adding layers. I think that makes it kind of hard. Some bands go in and do all the tracks at once. It’s tough for us because while it works live, recording it, tapping on the bass doesn’t properly communicate to the microphone the highs and lows at the same time. I’ll go through and do the lows and the highs separately. It ends up being 30-40 bass tracks per song.

Mixing took forever because it was such a large track. We were exceeding the bounds of Pro Tools as designed for one track. We had to keep stopping it. It kept overloading the computer. It was kind of annoying but kind of exciting. There were these error messages that Pro Tools kept shooting up. The engineer, Billy Anderson, would go, “I don’t know what this means.” So he would ask in a forum, and someone from Pro Tools chimed in and said, “That error message should never ever happen. It’s pushing past what Pro Tools is designed to handle.” [We were like] “Yes, that’s cool!”

SILY: What is it like working with Billy?

DD: He records really creatively. It’s almost like having another member of the band there. He never puts input into the playing style. But during the mixing process, he’s brilliant. He’s got the best set of ears I’ve ever seen in a person. He brings things out I don’t even notice. He can hear so many tracks simultaneously. I remember, I stayed at his house one time. He has a display of the records he’s done. There was a 7-inch from an old Seattle band, and [it was signed,] “Billy, You are alchemy.” That’s a good summation.

SILY: How did you balance your and Jesse’s different vocal styles?

DD: I guess the way that all came about was when Jesse started, it was after Adrian had left. He was playing and learning the vocal lines from the older songs. So he was trying to emulate and was on board with the style the band was doing already. That’s always been the case, where I’ll do the screams and he’ll do the growls.

SILY: To what extent in the back of your mind were you thinking about past notable one-track albums?

DD: We definitely discussed that. Dopesmoker gets the most attention. But I don’t think we were creatively referencing it. If anything, El mundo frio by Corrupted is what we’re more in line with stylistically, especially with the long passage in the middle that’s more of an ambient thing. I wouldn’t say we were trying to recreate anything in that regard. Our approach was more just to write a song as a Bell Witch song would be. The original approach was to write one song with several movements. As the movements whittled away, we were left with one big song. I don’t think we were trying to recreate or create something that hasn’t been done.

SILY: What’s the story behind the album art?

DD: We were searching for artists and had a couple in mind, but we were kind of just creatively shopping around, looking for who out there was doing really cool stuff. We came across [Mariusz Lewandowski] and thought, “This guy’s incredible. If he’s available and willing, we should do it.” We wrote him an email, and he wrote back that he had always wanted to do a record and had never done it before. He even listened to [previous record] Four Phantoms and said he was really into that. We kind of described what we were thinking based off of his style and the themes of the record, the “as above, so below” aspect. He came back with [the cover], and we were both floored.

SILY: Had you decided on the title at that point?

DD: No, at that point we were sticking to the “as above, so below” idea. I think the artwork was even a point of us thinking “as above, so below” is over-said and overused. One of the Erik Moggridge lyrics--“Mirror reaper / arrow of my eye”--was related to “as above, so below,” so we thought we would use that, and it fit with the cover.

SILY: What about the feature-length video Taylor [Bednarz] is doing? Is that set to the entire piece?

DD: Yeah, he’s still working on it. He’s past the half-way point. He’s working on archived footage from the 50′s and 60′s. It’s really cool. He’s trying to piece together stories to make a bigger one. We saw the videos he’s done. He has a really cool approach to things.

SILY: Adrian’s vocals on the album were from unused vocal takes from Four Phantoms. Were there any unused takes that didn’t make it onto Mirror Reaper?

DD: Nothing from Adrian. He had already died when we were doing that. We just dug back and were like, “Here are some takes that didn’t make the final recording.” We found some that could be lined up and fit. Having Billy Anderson be the guy who can do that was great. I think there are leftover vocal tracks from Mirror Reaper from Jesse and I’s recording. Maybe if I die, he can use that [laughs]. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen.

SILY: Even before Adrian passed away and after he left the band, do you feel the fan base embraced Jesse as part of the band?

DD: Yeah, I think so. Jesse’s a pretty cool guy. He’s a lot of fun. Maybe a few friends might have been on the fence because they were personally close with Adrian. But it was a good fit, because Jesse and Adrian were friends as well. It wasn’t an outsourcing scenario. He was already in the family.

SILY: How do you guys feel about people constantly labeling you “funeral doom?”

DD: It doesn’t really come up in conversation. When Adrian and I were starting the band and sort of toying with the direction we would take, we would talk about bands we liked, and what aspects we liked, and what made those bands so special. Those conversations were centered around funeral doom and death metal, more or less. I think that Bell Witch’s style is set at this point. That’s not really a conversation that happens as much.

SILY: Is there anything cool you guys have been listening to in the tour van or on your own?

DD: We’ve been listening to a lot of Waylon Jennings. I’ve been listening to the new Ruins of Beverast album. We’ve been listening to a lot of Blut Aus Nord. A Scottish band called FVERNALS--they’re great. Those have been the things on heavy rotation the past few days.

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