#i am honestly wondering if I could replicate this because I want one...

[rachwavs]

Birthday Swirl

You and Nahida are trying to get the Wanderer out of the room he locked himself into so you can celebrate his birthday together. However, he's very intent on staying inside, perhaps because he is hiding something....

CW: Sneezing, sniffling, hitching, stifles, mild swearing

All Sneezing Characters are assumed to be 18+

Find the script here.

I know it's technically not wanderer's birthday anymore in so many places but look I wanted to make this. This is based off of @glitterrosesnzz's swirl headcanons & fic which honestly go check it out it is too good rrrghhh

Wanderer is just called Wanderer in here because I named mine Renata and that's a bit too niche for the world I think

So I tried multiple things for the first time and one of them is two characters in the same audio. I really do wish I could give Nahida's wonderful voice better representation but I can't replicate it as well as I wish I could....

You may be asking rach why and that is because I am A HUGE SUCKER FOR FOUND FAMILY and nahida is his aunt or smth. I love their dynamic okay it's so fun. Nahida's his babysitter if nothing else because she literally signed this man up for school hello???? Also this is filled with hcs working in the fact that wanderer very much uses analogies in canon and i think he would have analogy fights with nahida but that's just me

Long story short this was very self-indulgent so i hope you enjoy me being me

Also there's some unspoken traveler dialogue in the script if you want

As with every gen/shin wav I do, I apologize if this is out of character. The story is quite scattered, I have hardly played any events and I haven't finished all archon quests.

I hope you enjoy, and as always,

‼️‼️DO NOT REBLOG TO NON-KINK BLOGS

#rachwavs #gensnz #snzblr #sneeze kink #sneezeblr #sneezefucker #snz kink #snezblr #snzfcker #snzfucker #snez kink #snz #snz audio #snz wav #sneeze audio #sneeze wav #sneeze scenario #snezario #snzario #sneezing #snz fet #sniffling #hitching #stifles

[wasyago]

hi! this is the bunch-a-questions anon. this wont be an ask ask. thank you for answering! it really gives me so much insight about tools and processes, i really enjoy seeing/reading how different artists have different ways in approaching creation of art. it’s all so interesting to me

and oooh i know what you mean about looking at a lot of different artists! it’s inspiration!! i find those things to be amazing too, it’s so cool. it’s like “this spot is inspired by an artist” “this artist draws this like this, so i wanted to try” “i think the way an artist drew this was neat and i wanted to try an implement it” it reminds me of that one post how we, as people, are a mosiac of other people and i believe it to be the same for how artists are too with their art

i feel inspired by the way you draw….. everything!!! it gets me pumped to try and replicate the way you do some things. like the shapes you create, the colors you choose, the way your lineart seems to be so flowy, how dynamic everything feels and how different each drawing you create is from one another (i saw you reblog that meme of like “why shouldnt i draw characters from the waist up and that is SO me, but it’s shoulders up” because drawing full bodies makes mh drawings feel so stiff, i need to practice more!!), the poses of the characters. just.. every aspect of your art is so, so, so nice!!

the way you draw, in all your styles, it’s definitely one of the ones that is such a good scratch to my brain. it gets me all giddy and happy! i’m not sure if i’ll get into jwri, mostly because my attention span will not let me be able sit and focus on listening before i get distracted and miss context on parts, BUT i still go to your blog almost every day just so i can see your art, no matter what it is, no matter who the characters are because it’s always so so good and i love taking it in. (will eat your art if i could, i am so serious)

this was a long one but yeah! i just wanted to let you know how awesome i see your art is! and how i also think youre a cool person, you seem like such a good peep to hang out it! might be weird to say but if you were a blorbo, you would be one of the most blorbiest blorbos to blorbo ever

hope youre having a good day!!

OH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS THIS IS SOOOOO

your explanation of taking inspiration from other artists was so poetic and beautiful! truly inspiring in itself

its okay if you can't get into jrwi, i get it! i didn't think i would get into it as well and after binging all the episodes i honestly forgot why i even started listening in the first place. remembered recently tho! it was because i was going a little crazy while making the picrew and needed some actual talking in the background instead of just music. so, if you ever decide to give it a try, or listen to something else equally as lengthy, try to busy your hands with something that doesn't require a lot of thinking! it helps me at least! worked both with jrwi and tma. it's like, doing something monotonous (knitting, sorting files, cleaning the house, etc) can be incredibly boring if i sit in silence and let my mind wonder. alternatively, listening to something long or watching a long movie can be incredibly boring as well because i struggle to pay attention to the same thing for two hours. but combining these is really good, because it keeps both my mind and hands busy, but not overwhelmingly so!

and ough ough ough thank you again for such heartwarming message! im so happy to hear that you feel inspired by my art, and i wish you good luck in your own art journey!!!!!!! remember to have fun and listen to yourself and do things that you find interesting and that you enjoy! don't force yourself to draw stuff you don't like! all art is personal and individual, so don't be afraid to make things "you"! you don't have to do clean line, you don't have to do lines at all, you don't have to do coloring or shading, if you don't like it! and if you do like it or are excited to try, you should go for it! don't be afraid to change and grow but don't force yourself into it!

also don't foget to stretch before drawing its very important!!!!!!!!!!!!

#yagotalk

[kirchefuchs]

HELLO CERES!! I hope you're doing well!! I have come to rant about the Skip Button Ending <3

Tis I, your local overthinker, who takes everything seriously <33

distant, confused cheering

ANYWHOO SO

Did you know? If you listen closely, you can take notice of The Narrator going through the stages of grief as he and Stanley progress through the Steam Pressured Gas reviews:

Denial: "Surely, these reviews were glowing as well; weren't they?"

Anger: "UNFUNNY!?"

Bargaining: "Preachy? Stanley, I'm not preachy, am I? You could tell me if I'm preachy, honestly, you can–! ..Oh goodness.. Honestly, this is quite shocking for me.. I– I always–..

Depression: [continuation] ..well, to be honest, I had always thought of the game's dialogue as being rather terse to begin with. You can't know how much fluff I cut from the game to make it feel as light and airy as it– well... I always thought it did.. but maybe it wasn't.." || "I feel.. like a failure. Like I had let these people down.

and Acceptance: [continuation] ..perhaps The Stanley Parable isn't quite as sterling as I always remembered." || "...A Skip Button?.. ..Well.. Well, yes! Yes, I think we can do that! If I'm truly too preachy, then.. then maybe letting you skip ahead for just a moment surely, it couldn't hurt.." [can also be seen as bargaining]

Take this information however you want lol, this is just a little thing I noticed as I listened to The Skip Button Ending like a podcast while falling asleep last night (may or may not have gotten a Stanley Parable-themed dream shshshhdhd)

— 🅰️non || 05/01/2023 [I decided to add this just because lol. once again, hope ur doing okay, bud!! rest well <3 /p]

Mans really do be mourning the death of The Stanley Parable 2013, poor guy.

It always hurts to see him fall into accepting the game wasn't good enough just because of those handful of bad reviews. I don't know much about how the original did on Steam overall back then, but while obviously the game couldn't have been perfect for everyone, it still found its way to the people who did care, who did think it was perfect, who took it and thought to themselves "it's almost like this game was made for me".

Because that's the truth isn't it? The game was never made to be for everyone, it was made for the people who would love it and cherish it for what it is and what it will grow into being. I think that's where the Narrator really went wrong, as much as it hurts to say. He got so wrapped up in the positive feedback he fell into this delusion that the game was perfect and it was that way for everyone, when that is quite an impossibility. Then when he found the bad reviews instead of shifting his view to the reality that "while it was never perfect, it touched the hearts and connected with those who are important. Its good to take advice from the negativity, but you shouldnt dwell on it." He instead fell into another delusion of negativity where the bad reviews were right and the game could never have held up to any sort of praise. One extreme to another.

The truth is, while the Narrator always talks about catering to the player and capturing the hearts of the people, he fails to realize he already did that by just being himself. That you can never perfectly replicate a feeling from so long ago since people change and grow. He failed to understand that its okay that things change. It's okay for the game to do a little worse. It's okay for him to keep going and keep trying to make something new. Because we are here for the wid-eyed wonderment that comes with exploring a new story and a new path. Meeting new characters and greeting old ones. We loved the 2013 Stanley Parable yes, but we are old and wise enough to understand that it cannot feasibly be remade to perfection, and that new and different isn't always a bad thing. It's okay to keep growing. Better to grow and change than to stay where you are to be left behind and forgotten.

I think the Narrator needs a hug. For someone to tell him it's okay that what he made isn't perfect. It's okay it wasn't perfect because it was good. And that's the best anyone can hope to do.

#the stanley parable #tspud #tsp #tsp narrator #tspud narrator #ask #kirche rambles #🅰️non

[genderqueerdykes]

hello!! no pressure to answer this as i know you have a lot going on, but you seem very cool and knowledgeable and i don’t know people irl i can ask about this.

i was wondering if you have any thoughts you wouldn’t mind sharing about the idea of being trans-intersex? as in, being born perisex but physically transitioning to being somewhere on the intersex spectrum? i know i could technically use the word nonbinary, but nonbinary and intersex have different connotations to me, and my desire personally is to be an intersex man.

i’m mostly worried to identify this way because i wouldn’t want to claim a type of oppression i don’t experience if i haven’t been born/raised intersex—although, that seems to be the same type of argument t*rfs use against trans women, and i don’t think identities should be defined by their oppression, so from my view that argument doesn’t seem to hold water…but i don’t have the personal experience in this specific matter that others do, so i would greatly appreciate more opinions.

thank you for reading! (i’m on anon because i’m shy but i would be happy to go off anon if requested!)

hello! that's a good question

i don't really know if it's physically possible to transition to be intersex, necessarily, just because many folks with intersex conditions have "incomplete" or "abnormal" organs like gonads and genitals that cannot be replicated through HRT or sex replacement surgery- for example, if you are afab, taking T and getting SRS would not make you intersex.

intersex is a condition you are born with, not something you strive for, or create. i am intersex because i was physically born with my conditions and only chose to augment my body with T because i loved how i looked and other people wouldn't let me have it. i just don't think it is * medically * possible to do so because taking hormones and getting SRS just isn't the same as being born with an intersex condition.

i also don't think most intersex folks would take super kindly to that since it is a birth condition- i would honestly say calling yourself transfemasc, androgynous, transneutral, or something else would work best since intersex is the only queer identity you are quite literally physically born with. an "Androgynous" body is very much similar to an intersex one and i think that's the closest fit, or you could also identify with the term "salmacian"

i hope that makes sense, take care, good luck in figuring things out

#asks #answers #intersex

[melrosing]

In your opinion, are Cersei and Dany bisexual/attracted to women or is it just GRRM being a perv and writing male gazey lesbian scenes and the intent isn't that the girls like girls?

Talking purely in terms of GRRM's intent (as opposed to potential queer readings)... honestly I don't know. Imo neither Cersei nor Dany show a crystal clear attraction to women outside of those two sex scenes, and whilst I kind of hc both of them both as bi, I don't know if it's what GRRM was actually trying to say with those scenes.

On the one hand the Dany/Irri scene feels very male gaze-y, since it's never raised again in any meaningful way iirc, and doesn't seem to change the relationship between Dany and Irri afterwards. It doesn't even seem to change the way Dany thinks of herself. Unless I'm forgetting something?? But I don't think I am, and I just find it really jarring.

For Cersei and Taena, it's a lot more complicated imo. It's established that Cersei has a significant disregard for matters of consent, but has also been a victim of Robert's/Osney Kettleblack's. So the scene feels very in-character and just a disturbing insight into how fucked up Cersei's ideas of sex and consent have become over her lifetime - she's so scarred by her experiences with Robert etc, and she wants to reclaim agency by doing what he did unto Taena.

She's also trying to become the kind of man she's always been victimised by, and thinks she'll find that in herself by doing what they've done to her. But obviously there's no pleasure in it after all, and I think she's just retraumatising herself in that scene, remembering the things she's suffered as she's doing the same to Taena:

She wondered what it would feel like to suckle on those breasts, to lay the Myrish woman on her back and push her legs apart and use her as a man would use her, the way Robert would use her when the drink was in him, and she was unable to bring him off with hand or mouth. [...] But it was no good. She could not feel it, whatever Robert felt on the nights he took her. [...] It had never been any good with anyone but Jaime.

I think her concept of sex has basically become so damaged that she doesn't even really know why it was only ever good with Jaime - obviously it's because Jaime loved her, because she felt safe with him and she trusted him and she desired him. But her view of sex as transactional and/or defensive has become so entrenched that she can't make sense of why she can't replicate that experience by sleeping with anyone, as Robert/the Kettleblacks seemed to be able to with her. They didn't love her or trust her, but they wanted her anyway - so she tries to embody them in order to understand that, and finds she still can't. The desire isn't there.

So the whole scene makes me kind of reassess the ways in which Cersei views Taena in earlier chapters, where she's observing her attractiveness in quite sensual terms. With hindsight it's more like she's selecting a victim, though perhaps subconsciously.

But anyway, with Cersei's sexuality being as complicated as it is, I don't think I could decisively call it anything in particular. Either way, I think Cersei/Taena is a good scene, albeit completely horrid, but counterbalanced with Dany/Irri I can see why many people's first reactions are to call it male-gaze fanservice.

#ask #cersei lannister #daenerys targaryen #asoiaf #cw rape #cw: rape

[idyllic-affections]

Honestly, the Aeons are such an intriguing subject in Star Rail, there's so much we don't know much about them, besides that they were mortals at one who ascended to place beyond average human comprehension due to fantastical circumstances (along with the Paths, Pathstriders, and Emanators). I think my favorite aspect about the Aeons would probably be the subtle elements of cosmic/eldritch horror that a few of them have going on. Such as Yaoshi themself, with the horrors of the Mara, the races of the Denizens of Abundance, and terrific experimental creations of the Disciples of Sanctus Medicus, then there's the deceased Tayzzyronth the Propagation with the terror of their self-replicating Swarm, still prevalent long after their Aeon's death. And lest we forget Ouroboros the Voracity, the many-mouthed devourer of worlds, both an Aeon, and an ancient beast called a "Leviathan". Then there's also Fuli, who's physical appearance is on the more "abstract" side, as well as how no one is sure when they ascended, as it seems like they've "always been there" in the memory of the universe. They're such an intriguing lot really!

Yaoshi is among my favorites for the same reasons, with just how abundant their design is!

Fuli is another, because the idea of an deity-like being appearing to be made of mirrors, and representing the concept of memory is just cool.

Then there's Long, which is partially because of my love of dragons, but also because of the interesting thing with Long's Scions (the Vidyadhara and other draconic races) and how they fit in with Long's "revelation of Permanence."

And finally, the last of my favs. This one is a bit ironic considering my liking of Yaoshi, and that would be Lan the Hunt. Because dude, they are a fucking. Space. Centaur.

A FUCKING SPACE CENTAUR. That's cool as fuck dude! I also have something of a soft spot for deities (or deity-like beings) of 'the hunt' because it's such a cool domain to dive into, and see what people come up with like, the principles that deity, the culture surrounding it, the lore of how they came to be. How it can vary from setting to setting!

Just, exploring the numerous concepts and people come up with for Gods in fantasy is always such a cool thing to look into. I know I have a ton of fun toying around with such ideas!

Oof, sorry for the tangent, getting back on topic now! Yaoshi is a very interesting Aeon, it's cool having a more morally dubious life deity around!

Hoyoverse are just very good at crafting and exploring their creations, they've got some very talented writers in their game teams!

Your's truly, 🐉Anon

SO TRUE 🐉 ANON

the subtle eldritch vibes that they all have is SOOO appealing to me (i still think yaoshi could use more eyes though fr!!!! biblically accurate yaoshi!!!!!!!! /lh). and just... the HORROR that comes of all the paths (or could potentially come of all the paths; i believe all the paths have the potential to be cosmically horrifying). the aeons are all so fascinating, really. aha is one i am particularly fascinated by. their... hedonistic nature is so interesting. they are really just here for a good time LMAO everything about the aeons is so interesting, really. i want to know where they came from. why did they ascend. HOW did they ascend. how does it feel to be so eternally bound to their paths, to the point where it probably has become all-consuming for some of them (i think good examples are yaoshi, lan, and nanook. those three seem to be very consumed by their paths, at least to me! i also like to think that yaoshi is inadvertently causing all this harm because they're so all-consumed by abundance that they cannot see beyond it..... but i will save that ramble for another time!)

YOU GET IT THOUGH their design is so abundant. and i think it is so perfect for that reason.

fuli is very cool!!! i cannot help but wonder where they came from. to represent memory--that feels like such an important thing. i don't know. fuli feels very important (all the aeons do, of course! but there are those that seem especially important, like fuli and nanook).

long is also super cool! i had a thought--would permanence have been consumed by abundance? obviously i don't think this is canon. i'm pretty sure long just disappeared. but hear me out on this; abundance is just a broader version of permanance, is it not? like ena the order and xipe the harmony. i wonder what the exact circumstances for an aeon consuming another aeon are, because there are clearly specifics that we don't know about yet, given how similar paths can and do coexist. in a way, abundance and permanance are closely related, but i also see them as different enough for that not to have happened. this is mostly just word vomit. but i think it's fun to talk about these things.

NO NO LAN IS REALLY COOL ACTUALLY LIKE FUCK??????? SPACE CENTAUR???? HELLO?????? Though.... why are you so obsessed with yaoshi bro 🤨 do you have something you need to tell us 🤨🤨 /J OBVIOUSLY I KNOW. WHAT HAPPENED. BUT IT'S FUNNY TO FRAME IT THAT WAY. i was telling my boyfriend about yaoshi and lan and the two of us, who share a braincell, made those jokes and now i can't stop thinking about it LMFOAKDISNHKGJ

i think yaoshi and lan's rivalry is very interesting, to be serious. because you know, if it ends up being true that yaoshi is so consumed by their path that they cannot see beyond it, then is lan's pursuit really justified? or... perhaps it would be better for the abundance to be gone, for the sake of the universe and yaoshi themselves? the "nurturer of the people," the "god of peace"... one who cannot bear to see death and pain. would someone so allegedly kind be able to live peacefully if they knew what they had done?

and... in addition, has lan also been consumed by their path, to the point where they cannot see beyond it? if so, i see them destroying both themselves and the abundance. or maybe just themselves, if yaoshi stays away long enough.

or...

are all the aeons morally ambiguous? is this pursuit beyond mortal comprehension? who knows. i do not! and i think all the potential truths about yaoshi and lan are so cool. so so cool.

the hunt in and of itself is so fascinating. and it sounds cool as hell too. like.... The Hunt. hello.

hoyoverse is very good at that, i agree!

#aphelion replies: 🐉 anon 🌸

[stabby-apologist]

Titanic II and Why I Hate It

Today, I watched Titanic 2; and I could probably forgive the crapshoot that is this movie if it had outdone everything from the original.

But—

◇ SPOILERS BELOW◇

The CGI was atrocious, compared to the first movie where the water and the ship and the atmosphere felt real. In the sequel, I'm very aware that I'm watching a movie.

Some of the scenes feel copy and pasted—the ship angled with the passengers sliding down the side and falling from the heights, shot by shot; how the main character and the romantic interest almost imitate the conversation between Jack and Rose on the floating door—

Here's one for yall: I could understand the tsunami, and honestly they should have just kept that and left it at that. But having the tsunami propel an iceberg to destroy Titanic II is a little too on the nose for me and it's kind of lazy writing.

The romance in Titanic was developed, born out of a man trying to save a woman from jumping, and then established throughout the journey before the ship hits the iceberg. We actually care about the man, the woman, the people on the ship. We get to know them. In the sequel, I actually don't like anyone; and the romance angle is more or less mentioned (the woman didn't call him back after six months). So I really don't care who lives or dies.

The fact that Titanic 2 is "prepared to take any icebergs" and can go really, really fast is nullified by the fact an iceberg is propelled into the ship and when they're supposed to be flee from an incoming tsunami, they sit still. Seriously, watch that part because the Captain is like "turn them on!" And I'm just wondering why yall decided to just not move.

The scenes in the dark are too dark. I can't see shit. It's like the final season of Game of Thrones, you know the one. Like what am I seeing?

So. Idk. The fact that a motherfucker irl wanted to actually build an actual ship replicated and named Titanic II is stupid as hell.

I mean, look at what had to be said:

#brooke burns #bruce davidson #shane van dyke #titanic #titanic II #titanic 666 #david michael latt #im literally tagging these people because theyre responsible for this shit movie #personal post #personal post because i took it personally #its like 2 hours of my life i wont get back #movie rant #do not recommend

[jbabblescc]

Sims Tag!!

1. What’s your favorite sims death? Honestly, the hamster one is the one that always gets me. Such a way…

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? I do mix a lot but it definitely depends on the project I am doing and if it will work with it.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? My sims are all different shapes and sizes and I love it. They will only change if they get the moodlet of body insecurity (mod). 

 4. Do you use move objects? What is life even like without it? Too spacious for my liking haha 

5. Favorite mod? MCC  & Wonderful Whims are my two i cannot choose between.

 6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? Pretty sure it was the first pack to ever come out (usually am on top of getting the packs) so Get to work?

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? aLIVE 

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? My favorite of all time is Nora Knott, She’s a sim created for my “Thorns Of Time” Story and shes just so cute and her personality in the story makes me just trying to replicate it in game. You’ll see her often in my pose packs too cuz I love her.

9. Have you made a simself? Oh yes! I have a simself legacy I casually play through. I had one before that made it 5 generations in.

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? Creative, Ambitious, maker

 11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? Red/ginger

12. Favorite EA hair? The High school years pinned back hair with the face-framing hairs out

 13. Favorite life stage? Young-adult.  

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? I would say i am a builder and a storyteller in the game. The gameplay usually turns into a story and I cant ever stop.

 15. Are you a CC creator? I guess you could say I am now, a newly starting Pose creator if it wasn't for my mentor and  Bestie @katverse who always encourages me <3

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I have a small select group of go to sim pals that I talk to on FB and Discord. My closest friend I made because of sims would be @katverse who I always love talking sims with (And real life too). 

 17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) Sims 3 always had so much to do! 

18. Do you have any sims merch? I actually have created a few sims items. I made stickers and a sims notebook (on Amazon) and am working on a few other things too! As for purchasing anything official (I do not) I do recall a time i had a sims USB stick that was shaped like a plumbob

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? I have one for gaming but its super small and mainly has sims lo fi videos right now.

 20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? I used to make my sims super realistic with all the alpha cc and their homes but now I am a bit more relaxed and kinda prefer the cartoony look

21. What’s your Origin ID?Jbabbles

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? Senate I believe is one of my quick grabs for CC

 23. How long have you had a simblr? Recently this year actually

 24.How do you edit your pictures? Simple tweaking in photoshop/canva/procreate

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? Would like more jobs that can be interactive

 26. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? High school years was very fun for me

I tag [I dont have a lot of friends to tag for this on tumblr but I would love to see others answers! So feel free to try! 

#sims 4 #the sims #simblr #the sims community #Sims tag #just sims things

[exhausted-archivist]

WIP Wednesday

So I did Camp NaNoWriMo last month and worked on my "book" for the Foods of Thedas. I've collected all the recipes mentioned through out the series and am attempting to create a collection of blurbs describing the dishes as well as a couple functional recipes. This will all be done in the voice of my lovely Anjou Baskar, a dwarf who roams around Thedas collecting recipes and experiencing food.

I made my writing goal, and am polishing some of the recipes and blurbs I have. Honestly for July's Camp NaNoWriMo, I think I will focus on some original/headcanon recipes inspired by historical recipes I've collected between the 5th and 13th.

So little wip blurb from the start of the collection

If it wasn’t clear when you picked this up, you should know this isn’t your average collection of cookery. This isn’t some Orlesian compendium where I disdain about ingredients used by other nations or cultures. Nor is this a tome your mentor likely kept about because the Lady of the house or young lords and ladies had a particular sense of taste that either limited or omitted so many wonderful flavors. This is an exploration of flavor, from Ferelden to the Anderfels to Rivain. It spans across the ages and references the memory and spirit of flavors long since lost. So, to make sure anyone can use this tome, I wanted to explain some common ingredients used through out these recipes. Regional or ancient ingredients used across Thedas that are easily replicated or near impossible. I wish to tell you where you can get these, and if you cannot get them, what you could substitute them with. This won’t be exhaustive, and if an ingredient is specific to one recipe I will make note of such things there. I can’t promise that you will be able to craft the flavors, or even be able to honor the spirit and memory of the intended foods. Not at first anyways. One thing I can promise you, is that you and yours will have a full belly and a tale to tell your friends. -Anjou Baskar

#archi yelling into the void #archi talks #wip wednesday #writing blurb #oc: anjou baskar #House Baskar #anjou baskar #foods of thedas wip

[melis-writes]

I want to be an actress but

1) I do not live in London, NYC or Los Angeles or anywhere that film, stage or tv happen, and no where near a film school or college

2) I am from a poor family and therefore don’t have money to move to such a place or to spend on acting

3) I’m so not pretty and so so so not pretty enough for the standards in film, stage and television

4) I have a skin condition so not good enough body either

5) everyone else is so much more talented and I have no connections and I’m a shy person at first

😭😢😓

Ahhh, beloved anon. 💞 I’m sending you so much love, kindness, and positivity. Let me tell you, not only do you not need to do those things but #3 and #4 are neither true or things to be ashamed about.

Was Al in NYC when he wanted to become an actor? Nope! He was just a guy from the Bronx who grew up in poverty and only knew poverty. The world doesn’t begin nor does it end with NYC, LA or London!! Acting comes from anywhere at anytime. Don’t let that stop you. Getting into film school or being near one to attend doesn’t matter either! None of those things determine whether you’re a good actress or not, if you’ll succeed, or prove that you love acting.

If your love of acting, film/theater comes from the heart then that’s where you need to reach into. You can act from anywhere. Al is a wholesome example because he didn’t have any money to spend either. His own mother told him acting is for rich people. 

Big theaters, little ones, group acting, the big screen–it all doesn’t matter. Every actor/actress starts somewhere! You have to give yourself a chance with that, my dear anon 😇 Maybe there’s a local theater club where you live, or if you’re in school there’s a drama club or even auditions for plays you could get into! As long as you know what kind of acting you’d like to do and how, you can start from there and look around you. Even acting on Youtube or finding some projects online where others are looking for actors can be a wonderful place to start! 🤞🏻

Ahem, let me be the one to just say (as I always will): fuck. standards. The body standards of both men and women in today’s society for film and outside of film are unrealistic, stupid, and unhealthy. You do NOT need to fit into any of those. You are your unique, beautiful self and anyone who thinks you need to look a certain way to do what you love can go fuck themselves. Never think that way about yourself, anon. You’re beautiful inside and out. 🥺❤ There is NOTHING to be ashamed about for your skin condition. Nothing needs to change except society’s own standards. We have such a wonderful variety of actors and actresses today breaking those stupid, shitty societal norms and what they “should look like” and I admire that. You don’t need to look like anyone or anything else and that will never determine your worth as a person or as an actress. 

But what about you, anon? ❤ What about your talent and love for acting? Who cares about everyone else? It’s normal to think those things, but it doesn’t ever dull down who you are and your own talent! Every actor/actress brings their own unique acting skill to the table. Nobody else can replicate that! Two actors/actresses could play the same role fantastically, but never quite the same and believe me when I say there’s a beauty to the talents of each actor. I bet yours has one too.

Connections are for Hollywood, and honestly, who cares about all of that? And whose to say you won’t make better connections along the way as you act and meet other fellow actors and potential studios? You gotta build your way up to the top and all you need to do is believe yourself and try. Do what you love and don’t let the concepts of knowing famous people/big studios, managers, etc, take you away from your love of acting. None of those things matter and many great actors to this day didn’t have any either!!

Al was and is also shy, you know? Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Once you find your space in acting and get into your role, I promise it’ll all ease and make sense to you. ✨

I wish you all the best in your acting journey, anon. Never let the current, stupid state of cinema and society wear you down. We need unique, new actors and actresses out there!! Becoming famous, getting an Oscar, making it to Hollywood–blahhhh, none of it matters! That has never been what acting is about, my dear friend.  💞💓💞

[tetrisfinished]

pity party: attending - 1

declined - none

this can't be right. right? how come i'm always caught in my own pity parties. how come so many men are exactly the same trash replicated over and over again.

sometimes i GENUINELY wonder if the traditional men and women roles are the right way to go. maybe if i wasn't working - i wouldn't be as pissed off about all the shit i do at home.

queue: the waterworks (which, by the way i've been semi successful at holding back all day today, so just fuck off and let me have it, okay? okay).

at this point, i'm in my 8th year of marriage to this man. we've experienced long distance relationship, honeymoon stage, living together, owning together, vacation-ing together, and now parenting together. and i guess even a sort of separation together [read: he left for 2 months to go to pakistan sans wife and 3 yr old kid].

all of these "togethers" could have been rich life experiences. they could have been meaningful and loving and respectful.

but they weren't. i think the thing they were LEAST of all might actually have been together. how can that be? how do i turn my clock back to 0 hour at the time i started this marriage and start over.

or better yet, end it right away.

i don't know what mistake i'm continuing to pay for. but i guess that's not true. it's just a new mistake every single day when i engage him in conversation or when i task him with a chore or when i expect him to show up as a parent. if your partner is meant to "complete" you - then i feel that i am in a marriage where my partner actually manages to take away from me.

our household is toxic. our relationship is toxic. and the person who suffers the absolute fucking most is my kid.

my poor, little, innocent child who is 4 years old - he is so kind and fuck he's PATIENT. i'm 33 still trying to master this but my 4 year old kid has me beat. and maybe because of my own asshole behaviour he's had to become patient this early on in his young life.

i think back so much about all the times when i was asked "hey how could a western minded youth and an eastern minded youth get along and marry each other?" and i thought i had the best answer of all - he's not actually all that "conservative". but now i'm realizing that maybe while not conservative in the traditional and restrictive way - he actually is quite traditional. but also a smidge of modern.

he wants a working wife. but he also wants to not give up any of his own life to raise a fucking family.

and here i'm expected to make decision after decision. sacrifice after sacrifice, even consider the thought of expanding my family (khair ultimately that's in Allah swt's hands of course) all with the thought of how comletely unsupported i'll feel.

more and more i look around and people find themselves not having a lot of friends at my age. don't get me wrong. everyone has friends - but it's a tight group of maybe 2-4 CORE people. and no more. everyone else sort of filters out in the "acquaintance" column. so when i look at my significantly larger group of actual TIGHT friends - multiple groups including my actual family (mama/javaria) - i am so incredibly grateful. but maybe it was because Allah swt was preparing me for an actual life without a present partner. without a partner willing to show interest in our lives. in our families. in our home. in our child.

and again - don't get me wrong. i'm sure he loves us - or at least esa.

but feeling that love and then not showing up in any way with care or consideration or responsibility is so.....so cheap. you know?

and fuck me, i'm still trying to explain this to him. why? i don't know honestly.

in the middle it got better. but of course things have slowly regressed right back to the norm and here i am again. bitching and moaning and fucking frankly irritated that i can't just TAKE THE STEP to leave.

so. that's that.

that's the end of this rant.

the one thing i'll say that's a positive of it all is - every time i'm so triggered and emotional and upset about this stuff - i write. i guess when i'm happy i'm not as.....inspired? morbid, amiriteeee?

so someday, when i discover the audience that absolutely adores the anti self-help read - the bitching and moaning and complaining reads. that day i can compile all my blog posts and become famous.

but until then, here i am. another night of another day of another week of another month of another year - all different then before, but all alarmingly the same.

-k

[mxstball]

A Checkpoint with Zinnia

"So, you're that version of Lacey that's an Arceus, huh?" Zinnia was on her phone. "Here, let me finish up this text to Hilda. She's double-checkin' with me about someone to add to our chat."

"I don't mind waiting." Arceus shook her head. 

"Alright. Let… them… in… and… bee… are… bee…" Zinnia finished pressing a few buttons and put her phone away. "Thanks for waitin'. Was letting them know that I'm down for adding Nemona to our group since Leaf is. Anyway, you got my full attention. Surprised that you took so long to get to me."

Arceus chuckled nervously. "Sorry. Wanted to make sure I don't get on Heidi's bad side too soon, you know? Anyway, let's have a chat." She lifted her hand and snapped her finger.

--- 

Zinnia and Arceus found themselves in a park sitting in front of a bench. Upon looking around, Zinnia could tell that it resembled Johto's National Park. Even the tall grass and fountain in the middle looked like it. However, the place seemed… a little empty to be the one that she's familiar with.

"I simply replicated the park, if you're wondering. If you want, you can send out your Pokémon to play while we chat."

Zinnia nodded and took out four of her Pokéballs and tossed them. Out came Salamence, Goodra, Noivern, and Altaria.

"...no Shiro today?"

Zinnia shook her head. "Shiro wanted to spend some time with Gigalith, Tyrantrum, and Tyranitar." She then turned to her partners. "Hey! Go have some fun, alright? Don't get in too much trouble, y'hear?"

Everyone made a cry and then went to play in the grass. Now, Zinnia was alone with Arceus. 

"So, ya mind if I call you Lacey?" Zinnia turned to Arceus.

"Huh? You sure?"

"Uh-huh! Since you're another version of Lacey, then you're Lacey to me! I'm sure there are big differences, but, if you're Lacey, then it doesn't matter what version I'm talking to, honestly." She laughed.

Arceus laughed in return. "You have a fair point. Then, I guess you can call me Lacey."

Zinnia nodded.

The two looked out and took a whiff of the nice breeze. Zinnia had her eyes on Salamence and Altaria, who were having the most fun of the four of them.

"I know that Lacey -- your Lacey I mean -- hasn't talked much about me to you, but I've seen a lot of worlds in my days, both as a Creator and as a visitor. I've seen so many versions of people, yet they all seem so unique and fresh every time."

"Oh, yeah?" Zinnia chuckled. "I'm sure other versions of me are probably a lot more interesting than me, then."

Arceus shook her head in disagreement. "No, I think you're just as interesting in many of the others, but in different ways than them. You seem to more often than not find yourself having an eventful life." She giggled.

"Eventful is one way to put it." Zinnia joined in the giggling. "Hell, if you told me several years ago when I first met Lacey that my life would continue to have as many twists and turns as it did before I left to Unova, I wouldn't've believed ya. Yet, here we are." Zinnia shrugged. "Now, I'm sittin' here in a park as a Hero of Ideals alongside a version of Lacey that's always been an Arceus. This is the shit they put in fairytales, you know?"

Arceus laughed.

"Exactly! You get what I mean!" Zinnia continued laughing. Then, eventually she stopped and returned to the subject. "I don't regret it, though. Rayquaza and I have met so many people… made so many friends… and we got to share so many memories with those friends, too. Sure, we all got together because the world was at risk, and we lost Lady Arceus in the process, but I think it was all worth it in the end, you know?"

Arceus nodded. "Yeah. I think so, too. Honestly, I'm proud of you, Zinnia. I'm sure that your Lacey is, too."

Zinnia rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on. Don't get sappy with me jus' 'cause I let up a little bit! My Lacey already tries to act like my mom sometimes. I don't need you to be like that, too!"

Arceus chuckled. "But it's the truth! I am proud of you! You've been so nice to all of the Pokémon that you've met. Without you, none of this would have been really possible! You should give yourself some credit."

"Alright, alright! I'll give myself a little credit, then."

"There you go! See, you're special, after all."

"Okay, little miss Arceus. I'm not goin' that far, 'specially compared to you or your counterpart."

The two giggled together.

When they calmed down, Zinnia went to continue. "Hey… Lacey?"

"Yes, Zinnia?"

"Can I ask for advice about somethin'? I think I may have mentioned it to my Lacey a while ago, but she wasn't sure."

"You can ask me anything."

Zinnia started to explain. "I've been havin' weird dreams on occasion. Dreams of me gettin' up and, some way or another, findin' out that--"

"--I've turned into a Latias."

"Sometimes it's through lookin' at the bathroom mirror. Other times it's because of a fall. Once it was even through talking with dad and seein' my reflection in the water. Every time, though, right when I start to scream, I wake up abruptly screamin'."

"Oh? And how long has that been happening?"

"Uh… probably since Lacey left, really." Zinnia crossed her arms. "It's not every night, but it's consistent enough that I'm tryna better understand it, really."

"Well, let's talk about it." Arceus nodded. "How would you feel about being turned into a Latias?"

"Huh? Well…" Zinnia looked away. "I… don't know what to feel, really. I know that I come off as this wild child of a woman… that my dragon wrestling and my style of fighting makes me seem like a wild Pokémon, but well… I'm just a human, you know… and I kinda like that. Sure, I'm a little crazy and am surrounded by all of these Legendary Pokémon, but I like having aspirations of being just… a girl at times. It's nice to hang out with my human friends and kinda be on their level a bit… or to spend time with Leaf without worryin' that I'd maybe one day outlive her by thousands or millions of years. If I were to wake up tomorrow as a Latias, sure a part of me would be excited to try out all of the shit that I could do or know that I can protect this world more directly, but… I'd feel like a part of me would be lost."

"I see…" 

"Yeah… I know it's weird to say that a part of me would be lost or sad at what I lost, especially considering how it would probably be an honor to many others, but… I just really like my life as it is and what I've made of it so far. I like the future that I'm working for myself. Just feel like all the cards would be coming down."

"Mmm. I understand." Arceus closed her eyes and nodded.

"...though, if it were any Legendary Pokémon, Latias wouldn't be that bad of a choice, really." Zinnia diverted a little to lighten the mood. "Considerin' I'm basically Lati's big sis and that I'm around so many Latias, I'd say I'm an honorary Latias in some regard."

Arceus smiled. "Being a Latias is a nice life… well, when you're not out for war for 700 years like your Lacey at least."

"Fair point! I'll pass on that much war for once, thanks~" 

The two laughed together. Then, when Arceus calmed down, she looked over at Zinnia's playing Pokémon to see how they were doing. They were still having fun, though now Noivern was having most of the fun.

"Well, if you ask me, considering that you started having the dream after your Lacey left, maybe it's your brain thinking about other ways that your life could change in an instant from a change. After all, look at your Lacey. She's doing better now but becoming Arceus caused her to divorce your father and separate from much of the family she cherished so closely. She's probably thinking about and missing you now. Perhaps your brain thought to itself, 'what other ways could this happen, but to me?' It is as you said… it would turn your life upside-down. You'd not be a human anymore, but a Legendary Pokémon like Tor or Rayquaza or me… and that's not necessarily the life that you want right now."

Zinnia nodded somberly. "Yeah… somethin' like that."

"It's an understandable feeling to have, Zinnia -- a very human feeling -- if I may."

Zinnia rolled her eyes. "Alright, dad." She snickered.

"Either way, I'm sure that all will go well for you. I cannot predict the future for you, but if there's anyone that I would have faith in to handle anything that they can come across, even if some strange dream becomes a stranger reality, then it would be you, Zinnia. You've given Heidi enough heart attacks and came out on top for me to say that."

Zinnia laughed again. "Alright, Lacey. Bet my Lacey told you to say that."

"No, but she definitely would have said it exactly as I did."

The two chuckled and talked for a while. It was a fun time for both of them.

#muse zinnia #verse: main #tah #verse: tah

[fanficimagery]

When Enough is Enough pt. II

Imagine being let down one too many times by your best friend, only to end up making some new ones in the process.

Words: 8.5K Author’s Note: Okay so some of you asked to only be added to part 2 of this while others asked to be added everything Bucky.. and a few others weren’t exactly clear. So if you want to be tagged in any future Bucky related imagines please let me know so I can get your blog name written down on my list.

Tags:  @aya-fay @70s-chic @sipsteacasually @kaitlyn2907 @scarlettwitch99 @thingsforimagination  @mimilh @felicityofbakerstreet @eternalharry @eliwinchester99 @intothesoul​ @wintershadowkat  @b1sexualtonystark  @meredeph @miszswan

The Sunday before you are to return to work, you sleep in until nine in the morning. Your thoughts are immediately on Bucky's impending arrival and you couldn't help the butterflies that took flight in your stomach. He's a friend, just as all the others are, but you couldn't help but notice just how attractive this new friend of yours is. But not only does his attractiveness draw you in, his easy-going teasing and protectiveness does too. However, Bucky Barnes is still a man trying to find his footing in this world after all that's been done to him and finally getting his name cleared, and if he finds comfort with you then you're going to try your best and be the friend he needs.

So since you're not dressing to impress, you dress in your favorite lazy outfit after your shower- leggings, sports bra, a faded sleeveless band tee with the arm holes having been cut down to around your ribs, and a pair of socks. Damp hair gets gathered up into a messy bun and you walk around your apartment to pick up some things you had unknowingly left out.

You've skipped breakfast, so when there's a knock on your door and you open up to find Bucky standing there, you groan in relief. He raises both hands with paper bags hanging from each. "I come bearing sushi. Wanda let it slip how much you love it."

"Yesss." You step back, quickly taking in his own comfort outfit of sweatpants and a plain black t-shirt under an opened jacket. "Did you bring plenty of wasabi? And you can just kick off your shoes anywhere."

"Of course." He hands you the bags so he can kick off his shoes and strip out of his jacket before hanging it up. You don't know why, but seeing him in a short sleeve shirt makes you happy, knowing full well he was weird about his metal arm being out in the open. "And plenty of dipping sauce as well. Wanda was more than happy to give me advice."

"Wanda, huh?" You chuckle, leading the way to your kitchen. "You actually told her where'd you be?"

"Apparently I looked very pensive this morning. She asked and I figured she was a better confidant than Steve or Sam who would have made a big deal about us hanging out."

"True." Setting the bags down, you let him empty them while you head to the fridge. "Beer?"

"Yeah."

Grabbing him a beer and yourself a can of Cola, you return to the table and your eyes widen at the sight of all the sushi. "Damn, Barnes. That's a lot of sushi."

"Don't act like you won't eat half of it."

You laugh as you take a seat, handing him his beer and pulling a few trays to your side of the table. You take a container of wasabi and dipping sauce for yourself, and grab a pair of chopsticks to start digging in.

You moan in delight at your first taste, happily shimmying in your seat before taking another. Eventually, you ask, "So what are you going to do when I'm back at work and I can't keep you entertained by getting shitfaced?"

Bucky grins around his mouthful of food before chasing it down with a swig of his beer. "We actually got a mission comin' up so I'll be leavin' around mid-week."

"Well that sucks." You sigh. "Now who am I going to send random pictures to when I have downtime at work?"

He grins. "You can still send them to me. I just won't get back to you until after the mission's complete."

"Yeah, yeah."

The two of you continue to eat- Bucky dodging Steve's texts about where he is and when he's coming back, and you sending the middle finger emoji over and over to Wanda who keeps wondering how your date is going. Then once most of the sushi is gone and Bucky puts what little is left into the fridge, the two of you head to the living room. You immediately flop onto the couch as Bucky takes the plush recliner, only for you to hear him moving the chair into its reclined position seconds later.

"Oh. I definitely need to get one of these."

You laugh as he snuggles down and you pick up the remote to bring up your streaming services. "Anything you've been meaning to watch?"

"Not really. Just show me your favorites."

You start off with some humor by playing the Goonies. It's a movie that no matter how many times you've seen it, it always seems to make you laugh. And it seems Bucky is not immune either when they make Chunk to the truffle shuffle. Titanic plays afterwards, but only after making sure Bucky found it somewhat interesting after reading the movie summary to him. He is interested from beginning to end and doesn't even laugh at you when you shed a few tears for the old married couple who opt to stay in their bed as the room floods.

When a break is needed, you head off towards the bathroom as Bucky finishes off the leftover sushi. Both of you check your phones and read each other the missed text messages from Steve and his worrying behavior.

"Wanna tell Steve to fuck off via video message?" Bucky takes a moment to think on it before he grins and nods. "Excellent. Sit in the recliner. I'm gonna crawl up all in your business. That okay?"

"Yeah."

As Bucky gets comfortable in the recliner, you sit on the armrest before sliding down sideways onto his lap. You bring up the camera app on your phone and switch it to video, sliding your right arm behind Bucky's neck while holding your left arm out to capture the two of you on the screen. "Ready?"

"Sure, doll."

You chuckle quietly and then smirk mischievously as Bucky relaxes his expression into his best resting bitch face. After you hit record, you say, "Hey Rogers, stop being a little bitch and sending us text after text. I'm tryin' to fuck your best friend here." Bucky's expression cracks as he barks out a laugh and you turn to face him while grinning. You share a laugh with him before facing the camera once more. "Only joking, but seriously stop buggin' us. I promise to send him back in one piece."

As you prepare to send the text to Steve, Bucky says, "You're terrible."

"Whatever. Admit it, you adore me."

"Occasionally."

You huff another laugh as the video message finally sends. You and Bucky both watch as the delivered status turns to read, and then those three little dots appear as Steve starts typing his reply.

"Tell Bucky to wrap it before he taps it." You burst out laughing at Steve's text, Bucky's rumbling laughter only fueling yours even more. "God I hate your best friend sometimes." And before you climb off Bucky's lap, because honestly you were getting a little too comfortable, you send Steve a few middle finger emojis before deciding on a third movie to watch.

The third movie you choose is one that never fails to make you laugh- Bridesmaids. You had a moment of hesitancy because of the sex scenes, but you figured they were ridiculous enough that it wouldn't be awkward. Thankfully you're correct and you get the added bonus of hearing Bucky's laughter again during Megan's scenes, especially when they get food poisoning and are all fighting for the bathroom.

You and Bucky take yet another break after the film, just stretching and finding something to drink.

"So what's the verdict, Barnes? Are you enjoying the films?"

He grins. "Your taste is all over the place, huh? That last one we watched was raunchy."

"But hilarious! You need to watch the Hangover trilogy, but you definitely need to watch that with Steve and then watch him squirm at the pictures that roll with the credits."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Jurassic Park holds his attention and he can't help but comment how stupid one has to be to replicate dinosaur DNA and then open up a park with live dinosaurs. You laugh, but don't bother commenting. You'll tell him later there are more movies involved, with yet another idiotic man who felt he could get the park up and running once more.

It's getting dark, but it's still a little too early for dinner. One more movie and then you'll order or go out and pick something up.

"So this last one for the day is a movie that's directed more towards the female viewers, but you did ask for my favorite films and Practical Magic is my absolute favorite."

"Well put it on, doll."

As you press play on Practical Magic, you quickly grab a throw blanket and snuggle in. Instead of watching Bucky, you watch the film and mumble certain quotes to yourself. The magic scenes always bring a soft smile to your face just as Gary's confession to Sally of I wished for you too breaks your heart, and Sally and Gillian's heartfelt sister moment makes you cry.

Afterwards, Bucky hums in thought. "So that's your favorite?"

"Absolutely." You tell him. He's watching you curiously and you grin. "If I show you something, you promise not to laugh?"

"I'll try."

"Whatever. That's good enough for me." Standing up, you walk towards him and kneel, and tell him to pull your shirt sideways by the armhole next to your left arm. There on the back of your left shoulder and forever etched into your skin is a salt shaker, a rosemary plant, a lavender plant, and a heart. You then rattle off one of your favorite quotes to him. "Always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder. Keep rosemary by your garden gate. Plant lavender for luck and fall in love whenever you can."

Bucky chuckles as you get up, retaking your spot on the sofa. "You really are a fan of the movie."

You nod. "As a little girl, I was fascinated by magic. I thought I'd grow out of it, but I only grew more fond of it. And then I found Practical Magic and it had a bit of everything I adored."

"So what's the one scene that just gets you every time?"

"Ugh. You're making me choose?!" You feign being distraught and he grins. As you think about it, you keep coming back to two scenes in particular. "So there's two," you tell him, "and I'm not choosing between them." Bucky nods, awaiting your answer. "Gillian's possession. When Sally calls together the other mothers who were mean to her in order to make a temporary coven to save her sister, and Gillian begs Sally to just let her ghost ex have her."

Bucky hums. "That was a bit sad, doll. I saw you shedding a few tears over that."

"Mhm. And the other scene is when Sally comes clean to Gary and admits that she did a spell as a child to call forth her perfect love thinking it wouldn't exist, only it did. When Gary tells Sally that he wished for her too, it just breaks my fuckin' heart."

"Let me guess, you were one of the girls who cast her own spell after seeing that scene." You stay quiet for a moment and the second you feel your face heat, Bucky laughs. "What did you wish for?"

You groan quietly. "If I tell you, you can't laugh!" He only smiles in response and you know he won't drop it until you tell him. "Fine. So even though I knew it would never work, I gathered the weirdest objects and wished for a significant other with dark hair and colored eyes. He had to be protective and funny and love me for me. Simple."

For some reason you can't seem to meet Bucky's gaze then and you feel awkward the longer the silence stretches on.

"So dinner?" He asks.

"Oh god, yes please. Pizza and wings?"

"Sounds good."

You have the nearby pizza place on speed dial, so after finding out Bucky's preferences you make the call and place the order. It's going to be about a thirty minute wait, so you fill the time sending Steve pic after pic of Bucky who's none the wiser as he scrolls through his own phone and adding the most asinine comments to each picture. Steve thinks it's absolutely hilarious.

Then when the pizza and wings arrive, you beat Bucky to the door and thrust several bills at the delivery boy. He's more than happy with his tip and you hurriedly wave him off before shutting the door. You laugh at Bucky's disgruntled expression and then place everything on the table while gathering a beer for both you and him.

"Don't let me have more than two," you tell him while handing him his own bottle of beer.

Bucky agrees and the two of you dig into your own personal pizzas and boxes of wings once you're situated around the table. As you're eating, Bucky asks about what other movies you hold near and dear. You fill him in on a few others and he hesitantly puts it out there that he'd be up for another movie marathon when you both have a day off. You agree that that's doable.

Halfway through dinner, as you and Bucky are chuckling over the thought of making Steve sit through Bridesmaids, there's a sound of glass breaking from your living room and a muffled curse. The two of you immediately cease making any type of noise and Bucky is up with a gun in hand.

"Where the hell did that come from?! You hiss.

The telltale sound of a window then sliding shut can be heard.

"Shut up and get behind me."

The authority in his voice makes you freeze and your heart flutter at the same time, and you have to mentally scold yourself before you quickly do as he says. You follow Bucky towards the living, ready to duck at the ready, only to sigh and roll your eyes when you see who it is.

Bucky stands tall and lowers his gun. "Parker." You can practically hear the annoyance in his voice.

"Mr. Barnes?" Peeking around his shoulder, you raise your eyebrow at your best friend who's been too busy for you and is now frowning at Bucky. When he catches sight of you, he asks, "What's going on?"

"Uh, well we were having dinner until we thought someone was breaking in."

"Alone?!"

Your brow furrows at Peter's incredulousness, only for him to realize you're not impressed with his tone. You raise an eyebrow at him and cross your arms over your chest. "Did you need something?"

"Oh, um, yeah." He shifts from foot to foot, gesturing to his face where there's a scrape on his cheekbone. "My ribs took a beating too. Can you patch me up?"

"Sure." You sigh. "Why not."

Before you can leave to go to the bathroom to get the supplies you need, Bucky says, "I'll just get out of your way then."

You stop and face him. "What? But we haven't even finished our food. It won't take me long."

"It's fine, doll." He grins when he realizes you're trying to get him to stay. "You gotta hit the hay early anyway. We'll talk soon."

You hold his gaze for a moment longer, sighing when he won't budge. "Well at least take your food with you. No use in it going to waste."

Bucky nods and heads back to the kitchen, collecting his food. You watch him and then follow him to the door, holding his food while he bends over to lace up his boots. Once he retakes his food and you open the door, he thanks you for the time away from the tower and disappears down the hall.

Shutting the door and then heading back into the living room, you tell Peter to get back into his regular clothes so you can get to his ribs while you go gather your medical supplies.

Meeting Peter back in the living room and setting everything down on the coffee table, he says, "So you and Bucky-"

"Don't." You pick up the peroxide bottle and soak a cotton ball in it. "Bucky and I are friends."

Peter manages to keep his mouth shut as you clean the scrape on his cheek and place a small bandage on it. Then when you've checked his ribs and tell him he just needs to ice them, he mumbles, "Friends who apparently lick each other." You snort and think nothing of his sullen tone, but when you look at his face you see he's actually being quite serious. There's no chuckle or boyish grin and for a moment you're absolutely floored at his attitude. "I don't think I'm comfortable with Bucky being alone with you in your apartment."

"Are you- are you kidding me?" You huff and take a step back from him. When Peter just continues to frown, you shake your head at him. "First of all, I'm an adult woman who can make her own decisions."

"I know, but-"

"I'm not finished!" You snap. Peter's eyes widen, but he smartly ceases talking. "I am allowed to have friends whether you like them or not. We have a pact, Petey, and since I'm still abiding by it I would hope that you would too."

"Yeah, but that's for significant others!"

"Significant others or friends, it doesn't matter. And you should be grateful I've kept my mouth shut when it comes to you and Leslie because let me tell you, I've been biting my tongue a lot these past few weeks. Bucky and the others have stepped up since you've abandoned me, so you have absolutely no room to tell me that you're uncomfortable with him or any of them being around me."

"Leslie isn't that bad and I have not abandoned you." You snort, but don't bother opening that can of worms even further. He finally gets annoyed with your quietness. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"You're here because you needed a bandage. Tell me, Peter, where are you going after here? Where are you going after making five minutes of small talk and calling it a night?" He opens his mouth and then snaps it shut, shrugs, and you shake your head at him once more in disappointment. "Exactly. Just go, Peter. I'm so over this conversation right now and I have work in the morning."

"Wait, but we promised we'd never leave a conversation where we were still annoyed with each other!"

"And we also promised we'd never judge who the other decided to spend time with, but here we are." He frowns at you. "Go to your girlfriend, Peter. We'll talk again in another few days or weeks or whenever. I don't care right now."

Peter stands there, gaping, before he pulls himself together and makes his way back towards the window he had crawled through. He glances at you one last time, but you merely keep staring until his mask encompasses his head once more and he lifts the window before taking his leave.

As the window shuts behind him, you sag in on yourself and your breathing stutters in your chest as your eyes fill with tears. You've never been this angry at Peter and the fact that he thinks it's okay to ignore you until he needs something and then has an opinion about who you hang out with was just too much for you to let slide.

You quickly gather everything from your coffee table and return it to its rightful place in your bathroom, and throw away the trash. Your appetite is long gone, so you put up what's left of your food and then head to your room to gather some clothes so you can shower and get into bed.

By the time you've crawled into bed, you're still a bit annoyed. So grabbing your phone, you pull up your text messages and click on Bucky's thread.

To Bucky: Well that was a shit show. I don't think I've ever made Petey leave my apartment while we were still angry with each other.

From Bucky: I'm sorry, doll. Anything I can do?

To Bucky: If he gives you attitude, get a non-serum individual to punch him. You, Steve, and probably Nat will send him flying into the wall.

From Bucky: If I remember..

To Bucky: Well I mean if you forget, I won't complain. I'll probably laugh when he comes crying to me.

From Bucky: You're a terrible human being.

To Bucky: Whatever. You adore me just the way I am. And now I should get some shut eye. I'll talk to you soon. Night, Sarge.

From Bucky: Night, sweetheart.

For the next couple of weeks, you keep yourself busy with work. Bucky and a few others do go on a mission as he said they would, so you keep your texts to a minimum of three each day- a good morning, a random story from that day, and a good night. They're gone for four days and in those four days you've not heard from Peter. The only reason you know he's not completely done with you is the fact he likes your posts that you put up on social media.

But since you're not currently speaking to your best friend and are too exhausted to hang out with anyone else, you're in a bit of a funk and completely caught off guard one evening when the patient a police officer brings in smacks you right across the face. You had been trying to insert an IV into his arm when he completely lost his shit, and then you were hit so hard that you were strewn across the gurney behind you. And in your vulnerable position, a fistful of your hair had been grabbed and yanked right before the police officer had intervened and pulled the patient off of you.

You had been given a bit of time to ice your cheek before you had to get back to work, but your face and scalp were hurting you the entire time.

On your way home, however, you're surprised to receive a call from Pepper. You're heading towards your apartment complex when she invites you to dinner there at the tower since Darcy is finally back in town, and you hate to do it, but you're not exactly up to be around such a rowdy bunch. So you apologize to Pepper and ask her to apologize to Darcy for you, and take a rain check. Immediately she knows something is wrong, but you only tell her you had a rough night at work and all you want is a hot shower and to crawl into bed. She hesitates but wishes you well, and the call ends moments later.

When you get home, you waste no time in locking the door behind you and heading straight for your bathroom. You strip down and take the hottest shower your body is capable of handling, and let yourself relax in the steam-filled room. Afterwards, as you're drying off, you gently dry your hair since your scalp is still sensitive and then get dressed in some of your comfort clothes.

Then heading out into the kitchen, you find some leftovers in your fridge and heat those up, tiredly sitting at your kitchen table and digging in. Just as you're done with your food and heading towards the living room, someone pounds on your apartment door. You sigh, hoping they go away, and have only plopped down onto the sofa when a familiar gruff voice speaks through the wood.

You quietly groan as Bucky tells you he knows you're there and you get up to open the door for him. He's on the verge of knocking again when you swing the door open. "Hey. Pepper said-" He trails off as he takes in your appearance, expression going slack before his jaw clenches in anger. "Who?"

You shake your head, gesturing him inside as you turn around and walk towards your sofa. You hear your door click shut before the footsteps follow you. "Work got a little hectic. No need to hunt down anyone, Barnes. I'm fine."

"Half your face is bruised, doll. You are not fine."

"It's all part of my job." You shrug and plop down onto the sofa once more. Pulling a blanket over your lap, you stare up at your friend. "There will always be a drunk and disorderly patient. I was just lucky he didn't do more damage."

Bucky frowns, but he doesn't push you on it. Instead, he walks over and sits next to you, angling his body towards yours when gentle fingers grasp your chin to angle your face more towards him. "What exactly happened?" He asks as his eyes dart over every inch of your face.

"Some petty criminal did some damage to his head in the back of a patrol car. Police officer brought him in and he seemed pretty docile up until I jabbed him with the IV. He got the drop on me. It happens." Gentle fingers brush along your cheekbone and you flinch. Tears sting your eyes as you sniffle. "I'm fine."

"Just because you keep sayin' that doesn't mean it's true."

Your bottom lip wobbles at his words and you lose the battle with keeping the tears at bay. The moment they fall, Bucky pulls you into a hug and you cry into his shoulder. "Dammit," you mumble. "See what you started!"

Bucky chuckles and he holds you a few moments longer, rubbing a hand up and your back to offer a semblance of comfort. When he lets you go, you fall back against the sofa cushions and wipe the tears away with your blanket. "So what are we watching?" He asks while settling in next to you and draping an arm behind your head.

"Shouldn't you go back to the tower and have dinner with the rest of them? I'm-"

"If you say you're fine one more time, I will drag you back to the tower and let Steve motherhen you."

You sigh. "Low blow, Buckaroo."

"And for that horrendous nickname, you've lost the privilege of choosing what we're going to watch."

You laugh and don't bother arguing with him about it as he leans across you to snag up the remote. When he settles back down and you snuggle into his side, you huff a small laugh when he settles on TLC which is showing 90 Day Fiancé.

"Why this show?" You ask.

"Because it blows my mind that some people are so oblivious and can't see that their chosen partner is only in it for the green card."

As you let his reasoning sink in, you can't help but giggle as you picture Bucky sitting in his own apartment and bad mouthing the TV because he didn't like the decisions the people were making in their love life. You watch along with him, cringing at the more obvious couples that are only headed for future divorce and smiling when one of the couples is actually in it for love.

You manage to almost watch a complete two hour episode when there's a knock on your door, but you're too comfortable to get up and answer it.

"You get it," you say as you nudge Bucky.

He nudges you back. "It's your apartment."

"Yeah, but I don't feel like getting up."

"You could have at least come up with a better excuse."

You grin, finally taking your eyes off the screen and glancing up at Bucky. "M'too tired. Brain's not working fast enough." He continues to give you a deadpan stare until you jut out your bottom lip. "Please?"

The second Bucky's lips twitch, you know you've won. He huffs and roughly pushes himself up off the sofa as if answering the door is a hardship, and you go back to watching TV. At least until you hear a familiar voice stammer, "Uh, h-hey Mr. Barnes. Is Y/N home?"

Your gaze snaps towards the door where Peter is standing out in the hallway, hands in his pockets as he sheepishly stares at Bucky. The man in question turns and raises an eyebrow at you as if saying what do I do and you give him a terse nod to let him know it's okay. Bucky steps aside and Peter readily walks in.

"I should be getting back to the tower," Bucky suddenly says. "You kids have fun."

This time it's your turn to give him a deadpan stare and he smirks right before slipping his boots back on. Then as soon as they're laced up, he's walking out the door and shutting it behind him. Peter, who hadn't stopped staring at the intimidating man, finally turns to look at you. And when he does, his eyes widen.

"What happened to your face?!"

You sigh. "I'm fine. Just had a little incident at work."

"And Mr. Barnes was what? Comforting you?"

"First of all, can you stop calling him Mr. Barnes? You two avenge together and what not. I'm pretty sure that means you're on a first name basis." Peter grins as he takes a seat on the recliner near you, shrugging. "And Bucky was here because when I turned down dinner at the tower, Pepper figured something was wrong. Bucky took it upon himself to check in."

"So are you two like a thing or something?" He wonders.

"We're just.. friends," you say. "For some unknown reason we clicked and we're comfortable in each other's company."

For a moment Peter doesn't say anything, nor will he meet your gaze, but then he's looking at you and sighing. "I'm sorry." You blink at him, surprised to hear the apology. "I shouldn't have freaked out that one night. Who you are friends with and who you decide to date is your business."

You finally smile, even though it's rather small. "Thank you. And don't get me wrong, I know you meant well, but you should have dropped it and just trusted my judgment."

"Yeah. I know," he mumbles.

"Soo.. are we good?" You ask.

"Yeah."

"Good. I was getting tired of you liking my posts and not commenting on them."

Peter snorts. A moment of silence passes and then he says, "So you'll be glad to know that Leslie and I aren't together anymore. I broke it off earlier tonight."

You wince. "Sorry."

"Nah. Don't be. She was totally using me for access to the tower." You're torn between being smug about being right and being sad for your friend who just ended his relationship. "I only realized it earlier when she got upset because Mr. Rogers posted a picture of you and Mr. Barnes together, and she had a few choice words to say about it."

"What? Steve posted a picture of us?" You quickly pull out your phone, checking social media for any notifications. There are none, but as you get on Instagram you check Steve's page and sure enough there's a new pic that shows Bucky staring fondly at you as you laugh at something on your phone. "That little shit didn't tag us!"

As your thumbs move furiously to give Steve a piece of your mind and to comment how adorable you and Bucky look, Peter can't help but say, "You're attracted to him."

Your texting falters and you quickly glance at your friend to gauge his reaction, but when he just looks amused, you shrug. "I mean have you seen him? How could I not be attracted to him?"

"Does he know?"

"I have a feeling he does. Asshole likes to fluster me every now and then."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure he likes you back." You snort and go back to finishing up the comment on Steve's post. "I'm serious. When we stopped talking, he threatened me. He was pissed that I made you cry and said I was lucky. He's actually really scary when you're on his bad side."

It takes a moment for his words to sink in and when they do you can feel your ears heating up, followed by your cheeks. Peter starts to laugh and you groan in embarrassment. "Why is this so weird? Dating should be easy!"

"Well he is an Avenger.."

"I don't care about that! He's just- he's really, really hot. It's intimidating."

"Wait, what?" Peter huffs. "So you're intimidated by his hotness and not because he's a super-soldier with a metal arm?"

"Well yeah."

Expression melting into one of confusion, your friend eventually shakes his head at you. "You're on your own with that. Good luck."

You hadn't realized how much everyone had known about your and Peter's brief falling out until the two of you were laughing together once again at the tower. It seemed like everyone had sagged in relief now that the two of you were poking fun at one another once more, and you had to apologize for apparently making it awkward for them.

And now that your best friend knew of your crush on a certain super-soldier, there was lots of teasing material. Of course you kept him in line when you could, but there was no stopping the force of Peter, Wanda, and Darcy combined.

It's a random Tuesday night when you've driven over to the Tower, Bucky having called you over for dinner with a few friends. You had the day off so you didn't mind heading on over, but as the elevator doors slide open after having ridden up to the communal floor, you yelp in surprise as the small gathered crows that shout, "Happy birthday!", at you.

Steve, Wanda, Sam, and Peter pop confetti poppers as you step out of the elevator, eyes wide as you glance between each of them. "My birthday is not until tomorrow!" You hiss.

"But you work tomorrow." Wanda frowns.

"Mhm." Your eyes then narrow, glancing behind them at the streamers and balloons hanging from the ceiling. "And how'd you guys even know?"

Everyone glances at Peter and he takes a step back when your gaze slides to him. He chuckles sheepishly. "I might have hid your birthday cupcake here and Steve found it."

"Petey," you groan. "Why couldn't you just hide it at aunt May's like usual? You know I dislike birthday celebrations."

"You don't dislike them. You just dislike all the attention being on you."

"Whatever. Where's Barnes? He's the one who lured me here under false pretenses. I got a bone to pick with him too."

Everyone turns around and Bucky's head appears from around the corner. He smirks and you glare at him. "Not false pretenses. We are having dinner," he says. "It just so happens to be a birthday dinner. And it's running a little bit late, so until the food gets here you get to open presents."

"You guys all suck."

Peter and Wanda each take a hand and drag you further into the room, heading towards the kitchen. Bucky fully steps out from behind the wall and you aim a kick at his shin as you're walking by. He laughs as he easily dodges it and then you're standing by the kitchen island that's been cleared of everything other than birthday presents.

You huff a small laugh and shake your head fondly at them. "I love you guys, but you do know you didn't have to get me anything, right?"

"Shut up and open the presents," Bucky says.

"Open mine first," Sam says, reaching into the small pile and pulling out a white envelope. "Unlike the others, I was literally told within the last thirty minutes we were doing this so yeah. It's not the best present, but I think you'll enjoy it."

You smile at Sam as you open it, chuckling at the plain birthday card and his brief personal message written inside. But it's what else that's inside that makes you meet Sam's gaze once more, smiling fondly at him. "Thank you. I can't get enough of bubble tea and I'm sure I can do some damage with this gift card."

"You're welcome."

"Mine next." Peter reaches in for a medium-sized box and hands it over to you. "I know you're not a fan of presents, so I got you something I actually knew you'd enjoy."

Raising an eyebrow at him, you pull the lid off of the box. Then glancing down, you snort before pulling out a bottle of Patron Silver Tequila. "I knew we were best friends for a reason."

Steve groans. "Please drink responsibly."

"Please. Responsible is my middle name, Rogers." Everyone snorts and instead of trying to remain serious and feign offense, you end up laughing. "Sam and Buck are good babysitters. You have nothing to worry about."

"That's to be determined," he says. "Here. Open mine. I honestly had no idea what to get you, but Peter assured me you'd enjoy this."

Putting the bottle of tequila back in its box, you accept Steve's gift. Pulling off the ribbon, you can't help but laugh when you see what's inside. "Cards Against Humanity." Peter cheers. "We're playing this the next time I have off," you say, grinning at Steve.

"What is Cards Against Humanity?" He wonders. "I just picked it up and boxed it."

"It's possibly one of the most confusing card games or raunchy card games you'll ever play," Sam says. "I, for one, am looking forward to it."

"Thank you, Steve. I seriously can't wait to play it."

"You're welcome."

Wanda claps her hands. "Mine and Darcy's next. She ordered online and I had to pick it up earlier. But, um, I'm not sure you want to open it up in front of everyone."

"Oh god. Don't tell me it's a vibrator."

Sam laughs out loud as both Peter and Steve start blushing. Bucky looks rather amused and intrigued as Wanda slides two boxes over to you. She shakes her head, giggling. "Not quite."

For a brief moment you're relieved, but then her answer sinks in and you're hesitant all over again. You groan. "Is yours safer? I feel like it is. Which one is it?"

Wanda only smirks as she pushes her box towards you. You open it, marvel at its contents, and then put the lid back on much to the boys' displeasure. Trying to keep a straight face, you look at Wanda. "How many sets did you get?"

"There's four. All in colors that will look amazing against your skin tone."

"Thank you. I'll send you pictures when I wear them."

"Yes please! Natasha wants to know how they fit as well. She was the one who suggested them."

"I'll send them to the ladies group chat then."

"Well that's not fair," Sam complains. "First for not showing us what's inside the box and then you guys have a ladies only group chat. I wanna be in the ladies only group chat."

"But then that defeats the purpose of it being a ladies only group chat," you muse.

"Come on," Peter then whines. "What was the present?"

Your gaze slides to Peter, but instead of outright saying what it is, you say, "Think back to that one Halloween night where you wouldn't let me out of the dorm until I switched costumes."

It takes him only a minute to understand and when he does, he snorts. "That wasn't a costume! That was lingerie."

"Whoa, what?" Sam exclaims, grinning.

"Lingerie can be worn as a costume?" Steve wonders.

"I was actually a Victoria's Secret Angel, complete with the most amazing set of wings, and Petey forbade me from leaving the room. It was a sad, sad night."

"As much as I wanna get into that," Sam says, "I wanna know what Barnes got you more."

You chuckle and glance at Bucky, smile faltering when you see him tense. But then he seems to shake himself out of it and offers you a grin. "Open the bigger one first."

Wanda clears away the other presents as Bucky slides his two towards you. You feel giddy as you grab the bigger box, untying the black silk ribbons and lifting the lid. There's tissue paper you open up and you gasp, happily giggling. "You didn't?!"

"Well you did say it was your favorite movie, sweetheart."

"Yes!" You glance up, beaming at Bucky, and your heart swells at his own smile being directed at you. "I really, really love this. I can't wait to hang it up."

"What is it?" Peter wonders, trying to peer across the island.

"It's a quote from Practical Magic," you say and Peter huffs a laugh, knowing full well your love for that movie. You carefully pick it up and turn it around so everyone can see it as you read it off by heart. "Always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder. Keep rosemary by your garden gate. Plant lavender for luck and fall in love whenever you can."

"Aw," Wanda coos. "That's adorable."

"I made Bucky watch this movie a while back," you say. "I need to show it to you one of these days."

"I'm looking forward to it," she says.

With nothing else to say, you place it back in its box and set it aside in favor for the second box. It's a little smaller, but you're excited for it nonetheless. Untying the ribbon and lifting the lid, you immediately laugh at the white petals scattered atop the tissue paper.

"Barnes, you smooth sonuvabitch," Sam mutters.

Steve and Peter laugh, but you're so focused on the notecard that's under some of the petals. Lifting it up, you read the note to yourself because immediately you know it's personal. My better half has to be funny, get along with my friends, won't judge me for my past, and has decent taste in movies.

Heart fluttering, you bite the corner of your lip when it feels like you're smiling way too much.

"Well what does Prince Charming have to say?" Sam asks.

"That's none of your business." You close the note and then tuck into your back pocket, chuckling when Sam and Wanda complain. When you meet Bucky's gaze, you immediately flush and mentally curse yourself when you see him smirk in return.

Inhaling and exhaling deeply, you center yourself and then part the tissue paper. You look at the second portrait and gasp after you read it.

"What? What is it?" Peter wonders.

This second portrait is of a hand drawn bowl with a tipped over salt shaker, a small bundle of lavender, a small bundle of rosemary, and a heart beneath it. Above the bowl is a swirl of flower petals and inside the swirl of petals, in very pretty cursive writing, are the words I wished for you too.

Did he just- did he confess his own feelings by using a Practical Magic quote? Or was this just you overthinking his present? You glance to meet Bucky's gaze and at his gauging expression your eyes fill with tears.

"What did you do, Barnes?!" Sam scolds him. "You made the poor girl cry at her own birthday celebration!"

But Bucky isn't paying him any attention, instead he's solely focused on you. You set the present aside and walk around the kitchen island on shaky legs, and Bucky readily reaches for your waist as you grab his face and pull him down into a kiss.

You can't believe you're kissing Bucky, but then he squeezes your waist and returns the kiss, and you know you made the right choice.

Someone gasps, but then the following words let you know exactly who it is. "Darcy is going to be so angry she missed this." Wanda. That is Wanda.

"What the hell is going on?" Sam wonders. "What type of present can cause this type of reaction?"

You smile against Bucky's mouth, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth before falling flat on your feet after having been on the tips of your toes in order to reach his mouth.

"It's my favorite quote from my favorite movie," you say. You turn around to address your friends, but Bucky doesn't let you go far. He wraps one arm around your waist and tugs you back so you're resting against his chest and tucked beneath his chin. "It's a movie about witches," you explain. "These two little girls are being raised by their aunts and they see them performing love spells for a local woman. Basically, one of the young girls refuses to fall in love after witnessing a love spell gone wrong and she does her own spell to call forward a love that would be impossible to find- a man who's favorite shape would be a star and who had one green eye, one blue. Years down the road, the sisters accidentally murder a man."

Sam snorts. "How the hell does one accidentally murder someone?"

"Shush." Wanda admonishes him. "I want to hear the story behind the gift."

You and Bucky chuckle, and you continue to explain. "Anyway, they send in an US Marshall to investigate the disappearance and the one who had done the love spell at a young age starts to fall for this man. She ends up telling him about the murder, but he doesn't quite believe her. Then they're on the verge of hooking up when she gets a good look at his eyes- one green eye, one blue."

"Oh my god. That's so cute!" Wanda says.

"It gets cuter. And sadder," you say. "So she explains to this man about her family, the murder, and how she can't be with him because he's only attracted to her because of a love spell she did when she was just a little girl. At first he's skeptical about this spell bringing him to her, but then he ends up believing her. And as he's walking away from her, he stops to tell her I wished for you too."

"So you made out with Barnes because of that?" Sam shakes his head, chuckling. "Wow."

"It's fuckin' adorable. Stop ruining the moment, Samuel!" Bucky laughs at your words and pulls you closer to him.

"So while I'm happy for Buck," Steve says, "I'm still really curious about what Darcy's gift is."

Peter nods. "Same."

Wanda giggles, but says nothing as she grabs the box and slides it over to you. You groan because you know it can be nothing good, but you still open it since everyone is watching and waiting. As soon as you part the tissue paper and read the box, alongside taking in the picture on the box, your face flames as you shove the lid back on. Wanda cackles.

"I hate her."

"She said to give the remote to-"

"Don't!" You cut Wanda off, blushing even further. "I know who she means to have control of that."

"They- they make underwear that does that?" Bucky muses and you die a little on the inside in embarrassment. You elbow him as he starts to laugh behind you.

Sam instantly knows what the gift is now and starts to laugh, but Steve and Peter apparently need some help.

"Lewis got you vibrating panties, didn't she?"

"Oh my god, Sam, if you don't shut up I'm gonna punch you in the throat."

Steve is torn between laughing and trying not to make you even more uncomfortable, but his amusement wins out. "Given Y/N's flustered state, I'm assuming Darcy wants Bucky to have the remote."

"I mean this seems like it could make for an interesting night."

Everyone laughs at Bucky's sudden interest in the box you're doing your damnedest to keep shut, but luckily Peter steps in. "As much I love watching Y/N squirm, can we get ready to eat? I'm starving."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go wait downstairs for it, kid."

Sam and Peter head for the elevator to take them down to the lobby, and you turn around in Bucky's hold. "Help me take this stuff to my car so I don't have to do it later?"

"Sure thing, doll." He grins. But instead of stepping away, he pushes you further into the kitchen island. You smile as he cages you in and then huff a laugh when he reaches for the box behind you. "So exactly how long do we have to be dating before we can test these out?"

You slowly lean upward so your lips brush his as you say, "I'd say very, very soon if you would put your ass into gear and help me move these presents like I asked."

Bucky laughs and presses a quick kiss to your lips. "Then let's get to it."

The telltale sound of a phone's camera goes off and you turn your face towards the sound. Wanda is beaming, her phone pointed towards you and Bucky. "Darcy wanted evidence I wasn't lying. She's going to be so happy."

Bucky turns his face to look at her then, his cheek brushing against yours where he's yet to back off from you. "Tell Lewis I said thanks for the present. I'll give her my review of them in a few weeks."

Wanda's eyes widen and you immediately blurt, "Don't you dare!" But she's already texting and you know the group chat full of ladies is going to be full of messages that you'll have to reply to later. Quietly groaning, you slap your hands against Bucky's waist and push him back. Looking up at him, you shake your head but the corner of your lips turn up in amusement. "You're terrible. I would threaten to withhold sex, but I've been looking forward to that for a while. I'd just be punishing us both."

"Just tell me when and where, sweetheart, and I'll be there."

"Oh no. You guys are going to be that couple," Steve complains.

And without missing a beat, you face him and say, "Fuck off, Rogers!" Bucky snorts.

"You're cranky when you haven't gotten laid."

You gasp as Bucky bursts out laughing right in your ear, but he quickly catches you as you try to lunge for his best friend. "You know what, I was going to be discreet when banging your best friend, but now I'm going to tell you all the filthy things Bucky likes to do just to annoy you. I will go into excruciating detail about the look and taste of his dick!"

Steve blanches as it's Wanda's turn to burst out laughing. "You've done it now, Steve."

And as Steve looks to Bucky for help, he merely shrugs. "You brought this on yourself, Stevie. Hope you enjoy the play by plays."

Relaxing in Bucky's hold and moving so you're hip to hip with him, you slide your arm behind his waist and hook your thumb into the belt loop of his jeans. "We're going to have so much fun."

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #marvel imagine #peter parker #bucky barnes #wanda maximoff #sam wilson #darcy lewis #the avengers #avengers #avengers imagine #marvel

[decepti-thots]

Idk what possessed me to watch the bayverse movies on Easter but what are your thoughts on this… franchise?

Oh hon.

So it's interesting because as I've mentioned before, my first TF media was the first two Bay movies. They are, needless to say, not good movies. The first one could have been in the hands of another director, I think, and with a big tightening up of the script- it's not irredeemable in all regards (though it was never gonna be a masterpiece). From then on, they deteriorate significantly. Revenge of the Fallen has some of the worst pacing I've seen in a major blockbuster tbh. This is even without getting into their exhausting portrayals of the military and the racism in them and the horrendous treatment not only of female characters but IRL of women on set, e.g. Megan Fox. Dire shit, needless to say.

...huh. I had more thoughts than I thought I did. Let's cut this.

One thing I will say is that I don't have any problem with them for, you know, Nerd Reasons TM. I am not fussed that they are not "G1 but live action" and honestly, any interesting ideas they DO have tend to be the ones that are most wildly unique to the films. I have this thesis that by the time you get to TLK, they have functionally stopped being "Transformers" movies in terms of the broader franchise they originate from and just become their entire own thing and at least in the abstract I find it kind of weirdly fascinating to observe. Even in terms of genre they become hard to define. But they still have more LORE than I ever think they do, given that what makes them terrible is closely tied to them being the most commercially craven kind of blockbuster. It's... weird. Unfortunately not GOOD weird, but at least interesting to think about in terms of what an odd place in pop culture they have. (One day I have a video essay I would love to do about this. Do not hold your breath, I have wanted to do it for like 4 years already, but perhaps one day.) Anyway, I tire of people who act like the issue these movies have is that the characters aren't their G1 counterparts or it isn't "faithful" enough, these movies have so many issues and that just isn't one of them IMO.

The really strange double bind TF fandom finds itself in is that the Bayverse movies are why the entire franchise post-2007 exists. I am absolutely not kidding or being hyperbolic. That pre-Bayverse incarnation of the franchise was slowly fading out the way GI Joe has done (despite attempts to replicate the same kind of revival that the Bay TF movies managed), with everything mainline being cheaply imported anime, and the rapidly slowing sales of the then-new IDW comics. (Dreamwave looked like it was gonna help, but... well, that got gnarly fast, and IDW never ever reclaimed that initial burst of interest DW's launch did.) The toy sales never dipped as low as Joe, and it would have staggered on, but the Bayverse stuff was adrenaline STRAIGHT in the arm, nearly overnight.

These are some of the most successful movies of all time. Of ALL TIME. That is such a weird thing to say in 2022 but it's true. People went to see these movies. They made more money than small countries. They have not stuck in the public consciousness, but when they were current, they maintained momentum right til TLK, and even then there's a lot of discussion as to whether TLK was really a financial disappointment or if that was partly a cover for how toxic Bay had become to the brand. And you know, I went looking for academic film writing on them multiple times, because I was like, there MUST be some. These are some of the defining films of mainstream cinema of the last decade. Nope. Found one piece focused specifically on these movies. That's weird as hell to me. (For those wondering, it's called "Technomasculine Bodies and Vehicles of Desire: The Erotic Delirium of Michael Bay's Transformers" by D. Harlan Wilson.)

But the influence they had on EVERY OTHER subsequent depiction as, again, the most successful part of the TF franchise since G1 and possibly of all time? Minimal. TFP has some aesthetic similarities and a few lore/worldbuilding ones, but it's very surface level and even the aesthetic is only a little there. TFA had editorial mandates to Be Like The Movies (hence the main cast changes from pre-production to match characters in the movie) but they're all very token. Beyond that... it's an odd situation! Everything about Bayverse is fucking ODD.

All this is to say, the movies are weird in an interesting way, mostly bad in very boring ways, and not worth watching as cinema at all, but as a cultural object, I have thought about them a lot, NGL. It is hard to talk about the Bay movies because you just wind up down a conceptual rabbit hole. ...If you're me, anyway. Most people obviously just watch these movies and go "well that sucked", LMAO.

............I'll stop. Sorry. I get carried away on this topic sometimes ngl.

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

Trauma Nightmares - Ben Miller (Escape Room)

I believe I will be at least one of the first people to make an x reader for this character, which is like, unacceptable. Ben is a cinnamon roll and deserves more love. Get👏🏻with👏🏻the👏🏻program👏🏻sheeple

! ! ! Spoilers for the Escape Room movies ! ! !

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(my gif)

You awoke to the sound of whimpering.

At first, your thoughts immediately went to your dog, maybe he needed to go out? But as you gained more consciousness, you realized it wasn't your dog at all.

You looked over to see your boyfriend's sleeping form in the dark, but you quickly noticed that something was wrong.

You quickly turned on your bedside lamp, illuminating Ben's face to show you his face contorted in a fearful expression, his eyes shut tightly and his fists clenching. He was whimpering and whispering words that only sounded muffled to you.

He was having another nightmare.

As soon as you saw tears streaming down his face, you gently shook him. "Ben." You said as softly as possible, caressing his face. He woke with a jolt, grabbing you by your shoulders tightly, wildly looking around the room in a panic. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay."

Ben was still tense, but his panicked look calmed when his eyes finally landed on your concerned face. He slowly released the vice grip he had on your shoulders. The tension finally being released made you want to wince, but you stayed quiet because you knew he'd feel awful about hurting you, even unintentionally.

Ben frantically ran his fingers through his tangled hair, exhaling a loud shuddering breath.

You took hold of his hand, bringing it up to place a kiss on his knuckles. "It was just a dream."

Ben frowned, "Yeah..."

It was more than just a dream. It was a memory that was even more fucked up being replicated by his subconscious every time he closed his eyes. There were nights where it wasn't so bad, but it was almost always the same...

Ben was in a large room, every inch decorated in a way that would make you think you were in a rich person's mansion. The walls covered with ornate looking wallpaper, the burning fireplace giving the gold patterns a reflective shine. It felt cramped, fancy furniture filling the room that emitted an old, sweet musk that permeated his nostrils. It might've been a cool place to hang out in, if only he wasn't trying to fight for his life.

The walls were closing in as Ben's mental timer counted down, only seconds away from getting crushed to death along with all the expensive looking and fragile furniture, pieces of splintering wood getting lodged in his skin and shards of glass from the chandelier quickly slicing flesh and making him bleed a bright red.

Ben thought he had gotten all the clues, he could've sworn the code for the door was correct. But the walls didn't stop pushing further and further in. The doors wouldn't open. There was no escape. He could never escape...

But he did. He did escape that wretched Minos building and he was here with you, the sweet scent of your freshly washed hair relaxed him more than you could ever know. Just you sitting with him was enough most of the time, he appreciated you so much.

Ben allowed his eyes to close when he felt your soft skin against his, gently running your thumb across his knuckles. Sometimes he wondered if you were an actual angel sent down to help him overcome his PTSD, it felt like it in moments like these.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You voiced softly.

Ben slightly shook his head. "It's the same as always. There would be no point."

You noticed the sweat stains on his shirt and came up with an idea. "How about I run you a hot bath?"

Ben looked at you. "Why?"

You offered a small smile. "It'll help soothe you." And without another word, you pushed your duvet off and stood on the cool carpet, walking to the joint bathroom without waiting for an answer from Ben.

You turned the valve almost all the way to the left, got water soon flowing out of the faucet and quickly filling up the tub. You stepped back into the room to see Ben blankly staring off into space, most likely thinking about his dream over and over again like he usually does.

You didn't understand what he was going through, because you were never in that type of situation. You were never trapped in those escape rooms, and you hoped you never would. The way Ben described it to you, you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy. You wished you knew exactly what he needed, but alas, you weren't a psychologist and you felt helpless when it came to his nightmares/flashbacks. But you did research soothing techniques for people with PTSD, and it helped some.

Whenever Ben had a horrible nightmare and couldn't escape his own head, he'd allow you to take the lead and you'd try your best to help calm his mind. And tonight, it was a hot bath.

You lead Ben into the bathroom like a toddler, gently undressing him and slowly easing him down to sit in the tub. You smiled softly when you heard him let out a sigh, the hot water feeling like heaven against his skin. But he didn't have to say anything to let you know he wanted you to sit with him, his big green puppy dog eyes were practically begging you.

You quickly undressed, not as gracefully as you undressed Ben, but you soon placed yourself to sit behind him. You wrapped your arms around his torso, and he instinctually relaxed against you, your warm skin proving to be more soothing than the hot water that engulfed the two of you.

You soon entangled your fingers in Ben's long, blonde locks, gently working out the knots from his bedhead and massaging his scalp. You smiled softly when you heard him let out a whiny sigh, feeling the muscles in his back finally untensing in your embrace.

"I hate these fuckin' goddamn nightmares..." Ben voiced.

"I know." You frowned, giving a soft kiss to his shoulder. "I know...I wish I could do more to help you."

Ben turned his head to look at you. "Hey..." He brought his hand up to caress your cheek. "Just being here, with me, is more than enough. I honestly don't think I'd be able to keep my sanity if it weren't for you."

You gently shook your head. "You're strong, Ben. You would be okay."

Ben frowned, turning his head back to stare forward. "I'm not as strong as you think I am."

"You are strong. I wouldn't even survive the stress of a situation like that."

"You'd never know until you were in that place. That was the whole point of that goddamn murder maze. Seeing what someone is capable of when their life is on the line." He huffed, tensing once again at the thought of being back at Minos.

You hugged him tighter, laying your head on his shoulder. "You won't have to deal with that evil place ever again, okay? You're safe now."

Ben chuckled bitterly. "Zoey wants me to fly to Manhattan with her, to try and take down Minos. I don't the universe has much safety in store for me any time soon."

"Ben, I thought we talked about this. You don't have to feel obligated to go with Zoey when you want to move on. It's not your fault if she's still stuck there."

"She saved my life. I owe her everything."

You sighed, you knew you couldn't talk him out of it. Now, life debts, you could understand well enough. Zoey was a sweet girl, a bit intense, but for a good reason. If Ben was going to help her take down Minos, you wanted to help too.

"I'm going with you."

Ben's eyes widened, quickly shaking his head, turning around in the tub to face you. "No. No, you can't. It's too dangerous. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you."

"And I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something bad happened to you. If you're going, I'm going too, and you can't talk me out of it."

"Y/n..."

"I love you, Ben. And I'll be damned if I don't do anything I can to help you." You finally snapped.

Ben blushed, his lip trembling slightly as tears built up his in eyes once again. "I don't want you to go through what I had to. Minos is run by psychopaths and they'll do anything to people for money. I just want you to be safe, at any cost...I've never felt that way about someone before..."

You smiled softly, leaning towards him and placing your hands on his cheeks before fully connecting your lips with his. "As long as we're together," You started once you pulled away, "I believe we'll be okay."

Ben finally nodded, enveloping you in a tight hug and releasing a shaky sigh. "I hope so..."

~~~~~~~~~~

Ben is my boy, he is very precious so me😊

#Escape Room #Escape Room 2019 #Ben Miller #ben miller x reader #ben miller imagine

[heyyyharry]

THE 1 (inspired by "the 1" by Taylor Swift)

...in which Y/N sees her ex again in a dream.

Word count: 1.5k

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Y/N opened her eyes and found herself standing in a hallway. The walls on both sides were painted black, and so was the ceiling. There was only one door in front of her, and as she looked back over her shoulder, the hallway stretched far and beyond into the shadow of nothingness. She had no choice but to move forward. She reached the door, turned the handle, opened it and stepped in. Embraced by the warm orange light, she found herself in her bedroom. She wasn’t the only one there, though.

He was sitting on her bed. His eyes lit up with a smile when he saw her as if he’d been expecting her. Why is he here? she wondered, then asked aloud, “Am I dreaming?”

Harry chuckled and patted the spot beside him on the bed. Hesitantly, she came and sat down. She wanted to reach out and touch his face, feel his skin, but she wasn't sure she could. If she did that, and it wasn't a dream, she'd be embarrassed; if she did that, and it was a dream, she'd be disappointed.

"Why do you think so?" he asked. She hadn't heard his voice in years, only on videos. It was just as warm and homely as she'd remembered.

She felt tears stinging her eyes as she said, "Because you're in New York this week for a show."

He pressed his lips together, a haunting yet tender smile. "That's right," he said. "And you're in London. Warm and safe in your bed."

After a moment of nothing but silent eye contact and the rapid pounding of her nervous little heart, he asked, "You okay?" British people sometimes asked this question when they wanted to ask, "How are you?" So Y/N wasn't sure what Harry meant in this case. Did he want to know how she was, or was he just checking if she was okay after what had happened between them years ago?

"I'm okay," she answered. That should be good for both possible meanings of the question, she thought.

He nodded once, his expression neutral. "So am I," he said.

Those words stung her heart like a sharp needle. She didn't want to hear that he was okay. She wanted to know how much he'd suffered from the pain of leaving her. She wanted to hear how miserable he'd been ever since he'd cut her off without giving her closure. He wasn't allowed to be okay, not then, not now, not even after twenty years had passed.

Was this really a dream? Because shouldn't she get to hear what she'd wanted to hear instead of the bitter truth – that he was doing okay and only thinking of her as someone he pitied?

Harry sucked in a breath. “I’m so glad to see you again, honestly. When you finally see someone you haven’t seen in a while and know that they’re alright, it’s easier to breathe.”

Y/N nodded while fidgeting with the hem of her nightdress. She felt this way as well. “Did you miss me?” she asked.

“I always miss you,” he replied. “Even when we were together.”

“So why did you leave?” she trembled. “You just left without giving me closure. You cut me off. I-I didn’t know what I’d done wrong.”

“It had nothing to do with you.”

“Then why did I have to suffer?”

Harry stared at her with his wide eyes. Even if he was just a product of her imagination, that shocked reaction was almost too real. “I was just wrong for you,” he said. “But if I didn’t leave, you wouldn’t meet him. You’re happier now. I could never give you this.” Y/N felt embarrassed that she’d temporarily forgotten about her man. Maybe she hadn’t expected that the Y/N in this universe where Harry was still in her life, could be with someone else.

Smiling, Harry reached out, took her hand and squeezed; his fingers were warm. “We would never have what you now have with him, Y/N. You wanted a secure relationship with mutual trust, while ours was full of insecurities and anxiety. The highs were too high, and the lows were too low. It wasn’t good for either of us.”

“I get it,” Y/N sighed. “Still, you could’ve told me.”

“I was scared,” he admitted, regretfully. “I was a coward. And when I left I was stupid enough to think that maybe one day I could come back and we could have the kind of relationship you expected from me.”

“You wanted me to just wait around for you and welcome you back with open arms after you’d left me like that?” Y/N asked, offended.

Harry shook his head. “I knew you wouldn’t, but I was selfish enough to have hoped so.”

Y/N sat in silence for a long moment and pondered. “You know,” she started. “This is the conversation I wish we could have had in the real world. Do you...do you think the real you still remembers me?”

“Of course. You were a big part of my life.”

Y/N’s shoulders slumped with an exhale. “You’re only saying that because I want to believe that,” she said.

Harry didn’t respond, only smiling.

“You know,” she began again. “I thought I saw you at a bus stop last week.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Then I realised you would never take the bus, and it made me feel like a fool.”

Harry threw his head back and laughed. “That would’ve been a crowded bus stop for sure.”

“Definitely.” Y/N rolled her eyes, chuckling a little. “That night, I had a dream in which you were doing cool shit, then you met some woman on the internet and took her home.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you meet your guy on the internet, though?”

“Yeah.” Y/N shrugged. “I felt awful for being jealous in my dream. Maybe I just didn’t want to think you were leading the same happy life.”

“I’ve gone through a very public breakup after us, so I doubt I was leading the same happy life.”

After he’d left her, Harry had dated a model, and their breakup had been so nasty he’d written a whole album of breakup songs for that woman. Y/N hadn’t listened to it yet; she couldn’t.

“What time is it?” Harry asked suddenly, breaking Y/N’s train of thoughts. He whipped his head around to look at the clock on the wall behind them. “Almost 2 AM?” he gasped. “Damn, I think I should leave so you can get your sleep. It’s gonna be a busy day for you, love.”

Y/N opened her mouth to ask him to stay for a little longer. She had so many questions for him that she didn’t know which one to begin with. But then she remembered that she would never know more than what she already knew. Because this wasn’t the real Harry. He would only give her answers she wanted the real Harry to say.

“Okay,” she said as they both got up from the bed. “Thank you...for coming tonight. It’s nice to finally have closure.” He had visited her many nights before over the years, but this was the first night they’d ever had a proper conversation.

“I might not come back after this,” he said.

She was sad to hear it, but it was probably for the best. She couldn’t keep dreaming about him, because she loved her new man, and she deserved peace and happiness as much as Harry did.

So she nodded, lips pressed into a polite smile. Harry opened his arms, and they embraced for the first time in years. His hug felt too real. It was scary how she could remember exactly how it’d felt to replicate it in a dream.

When he let her go, he cupped her face and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. “It would’ve been fun,” he said, “if I could’ve been the one.”

At this point, Y/N was holding back her tears. She told him, “If my wishes came true, it would’ve been you.”

Then, she woke up as her best friend rushed into the room, yelling about how she would be late for the ceremony if she slept in. Still dazed from her sleep, Y/N reached for her phone on the nightstand to check for a message that didn’t come. There was only a message from her man saying he couldn’t wait to see her in her wedding dress and that he loved her very much. She put down the phone and rolled out of bed. She was getting married today.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles series #harry styles writing #harry styles angst #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles one shots #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic rec #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n