#i am tagging this and the tag typing makes me feel feelings

[wh1msic4alwasab1]

”Dear Assistant”

synopsis: you take up a job with the fatui, and you didn’t think being a doctors assistant meant being the doctors assistant.

tags: medical malpractice, dub-con, insertion, vulgar, explicit, sadist!Dottore

wrd cnt: 1.4k

a/n: lowkey not feeling like my best writing but i hope yall enjoy

You stood outside the unmarked door, clutching the letter that had brought you to this mysterious location. The Fatui's emblem adorned the top of the page, and the words "Confidential Assistant Position" were typed in bold font. You had applied for the job, hoping to use your skills to make a difference in the world of Teyvat. The pay was generous, and the benefits were unparalleled. But as you raised your hand to knock, a shiver ran down your spine. Something didn't feel right.

The door creaked open, revealing a dimly lit corridor that seemed to stretch on forever. A figure in a white coat beckoned you forward, their face obscured by the shadows.

"Welcome. I am Doctor- ah, my apologies. You may call me Dottore. I've been expecting you."

You followed Dottore through the winding corridors, taking in the sights and sounds of the laboratory. Beakers bubbled, and strange machinery hummed in the background. The air was thick with the scent of chemicals and something else... something sweet and metallic.

As you entered the main laboratory, your eyes widened in awe. Rows of workstations stretched out before you, each one cluttered with equipment and strange devices. In the center of the room, a large, metal table dominated the space. Dottore gestured for you to approach.

"This is where the real work happens, my dear assistant. I've been working on a project of great importance, and I require someone with your...unique voluntary willingness."

You felt a flutter in your chest as Dottore's eyes locked onto yours. His gaze was piercing, and you couldn't help but feel like he was seeing right through you.

"What kind of project?" you asked "Ah, well…" Dottore said, his voice low and husky. "I'm working on a project that will change the course of human history. A project that will unlock the secrets of the human mind and grant us unimaginable power."

He gestured to a nearby workstation, where a strange device hummed and whirred. It looked like a cross between a medical scanner and a medieval torture rack.

"This is the Neuro-Resonance Amplifier," Dottore explained. "With this device, we can tap into the deepest desires and fears of the human mind. We can manipulate thoughts, emotions, and actions. We can create an army of mindless drones, loyal only to us."

You felt a shiver run down your spine as Dottore's eyes gleamed with excitement. This was getting out of hand, and you weren't sure if you wanted to be a part of it.

"But what about ethics?" you asked, trying to sound calm. "Isn't this a bit... extreme?"

Dottore chuckled, a cold, mirthless sound. "Ethics are for the weak. In this world, it's every man for himself."

He stepped closer, his eyes burning with intensity. "And I think you are too, y/n. I think you have a certain... spark within you. A spark that I can fan into a flame."

You felt a flutter in your chest as Dottore's words sent a shiver down your spine. You weren't sure what he meant, but you had a feeling that you were in over your head.

Suddenly, Dottore's expression changed, and he became all business. "Now, let's get down to work. We have a lot to cover, and I need your full attention."

He gestured to the metal table in the center of the room, and you felt a sense of trepidation. What did he have planned for you?

"Please" Dottore said, his voice dripping with darkness. "Take off your shirt and lay down on the table. We're going to begin your...consultation."

You felt a wave of fear wash over you as you realized that you were trapped with some crazy scientist. But you had to keep this job, somehow.

Hesitantly, you removed your top, and layed your head down slowly on the cushioned end of the table. Dottore had soon started taping small pieces of wire and metal to your arms and torso, two on each side of your temples as well.

“Now, you’re going to help me with the first stages of this, excited?” He joked, taking this whole human experiment thing way too casually.

You lay there, breathing heavily as you don’t know what to expect.

He finished setting a few things up on the computer, and you observed a chart on the projector infront of you; screencasting the computer with a plethora of scattered pieces of what seemed to be data alongside a key.

Without much warning, Dottore pulled you up by your waist, hoisting your body up and standing next to you and holding your face up to look at him.

You haven’t gotten a chance to clearly take a look at him before, but you observed each fragment of his face; his eyes pierced yours in a way that turns them into ice, frozen in place.

“I need you to remain calm, try to keep your limbs the same.” He said, before snapping on a pair of blue gloves and pressing pressure points along your back.

Every harsh breath you’d take at the pressure caused the chart to create a spike in data.

The lower he went, the more data appeared on the chart.

“Hmm… I see.” He mumbled.

He set his clipboard down, and pushed your body down. “Don’t yell too loud now, I’ve been getting far too many noise complaints from the others.”

You felt as if someone struck a strong left hook into your stomach, the worst possibilities reaching your brain.

The room’s lights dimmed, even brooding noises of flickering lights distract you from your thoughts.

You were on your back, chilly scales under your hips and barely clad skin. With a sudden pull, Dottore pulled your trousers off, throwing them away and spreading your legs apart as if you’d signed away your body to him.

“Ack—Fuck-What are you doing!?” You hissed, as you felt his hand grab hold of your face roughly

“This is for the research, sweetheart,” He mumbled, his deep voice coated in mania.

“Doctor- please...” You gasped, feeling him dig for something deep within you, your hand under his grip struggling to free itself.

“I need to be sure, until the data calms down I can’t trust it.” He said, the annoyance laced with concern felt like an aftertought, not fully registered until he panted, “You signed up for this. Now do the part.” He said moreso like a warning.

Apart of you wanted to scream, but another was screaming to find out more. You felt shameful of the heat growing within you, and even more ashamed that he could definitely tell.

“Let’s see what the data shows, shall we?” He said sternly, picking up a rod-like device that seemed to be a good forearms length.

“I-“ You began, finding a it in you to at least say something.

“Shh…” He interrupted, shutting you up.

He dragged your body back up so he could sit behind you, pulling your hair to one side so he could observe what his hands were doing inbetween your legs.

“Doctor please I don’t think this is-Shit, Oh fucking God-!” You moaned, feeling his gloved fingers rip off your panties and insert the device inside you.

“Oh my…you’re so wet it just slid right in. You like this don’t you? Fucking slut.” He’d say, before pushing it in and out of you at a faster pace each swipe, laughing against your ear as the chart turned into a mess; points of data appearing every second.

“Ahh- Doctor-! It hurts….” You yelled, feeling the cold metal fill you up, over and over again as he rammed it inside you from behind, holding your thigh apart with his large hand as he observed the chart furiously.

“Shut up.” He exclaimed, moving his hand to cover your mouth as he kept going.

“Shhh….It’ll feel good soon. Just keep quiet. Such a messy little thing.” He said, letting you lay your head on his shoulder as you melted into him, feeling your pussy tingle with warmth as you felt the knot in your stomach threaten to burst.

And him pinching your hard nipples was just what you needed, feeling small bursts of liquid shoot out of you, splattering over the metal table

Your legs began to shake as everything escaped you, practically soaking the table along with the sleeve of his lab coat.

He felt tears from your eyes soak his hand as it ran down your face, muffled moans and pleas escaping your mouth and into the cavern of his palm.

“Tch- fine”. He said, removing the object out of you and leaving it on the table as he went back to his chair, “Clean this up.”

whimsic4alwasab1 ™ - do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.

#jo’s posts #genshin smut #dottore #dottore smut #genshin dottore #genshin dottore smut #genshin impact smut

[aziraphales-library]

Lost Fic #181

1. i can’t remember the name of a fic it was a ‘Raphael was Crowley before the fall’ type fic, and it was one where Crowley could still use his archangel skills even after his fall. in part of it, Michael shows up and starts talking (maybe yelling) at Crowley and Crowley shows her (him?them?) that he used to be Raphael and that he can still summon his archangel staff. the fic might’ve been a 5+1 fic but i cannot be too sure Thanks!!!! - @cosmxc-ars3hol3

2. hi! thank you so much for the work you do in this blog!!! i lost a fic that i read years ago. human au and i think crowley owns a flowershop? i think there was a part in the fic where aziraphale has to leave the bookshop for quite a while for a book deal and crowley decides to fill the front of the bookshop with all kinds of plants and flowers before aziraphale comes back. i was wondering if u folks or ur followers can recognize this fic 🥹 im not sure if im remembering this correctly so i apologize. and thank you once again!! - anon

3. Hello! I was wondering if you could help me find a fic with Crowley as a florist and Newt as his assistant. There's a scene where Az visits the flower shop and when he introduces himself to Newt, Newt says something like "You're the cute bookshop owner Crowley was talking about," or something. I'm not entirely sure if Az is a bookshop owner in this AU. I've been trying to find it using the Flowershop AU tag on AO3 but with no luck. Thank you for your help! - anon

4. hi, I really love perusing the almost limitless recs you have here and am always so amazed how you are able to find so many fics people have lost track of. So I was hoping I could ask for your help in finding one I cursedly did not bookmark once a upon a time. It had three chapters I believe and started during the future war between heaven and hell. Crowley dies on the battle field and the earth is destroyed and a new world is created, where Aziraphale becomes the new earths satan equivalent. He's also lost his memory of the previous world and ends up magic mirror/window staking this new angel and demon pair that make him feel like his lost something inconceivably important. It was really incredible and it would be lovely to experience it again. thanks so, so much for all your incredible work - @tomato-soup-and-cats

5. Hello! I hope you are having a lovely. Unfortunately I have lost a fic that I really enjoyed and despite quite a bit of scouring, I haven’t been able to find it again. For anyone else reading this the description of the fic will have some spoilers for season two. In this fic, the Metatron kills what he believes to be Crowley, much to Aziraphale’s dismay. Aziraphale shows up at Crowley’s flat to threaten and scare away the Metatron and there is also some crying over what he believes to be Crowley’s remains. However, Crowley managed to store and use a spare corporation to trick the Metatron into killing him. Crowley also steals and book of life and miracles it to look like a pair of his sunglasses. I can’t help but love a bit of angst with a happy ending so I’d greatly appreciate any help you can provide. - @kittykat2005

If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)

- Mod D

#good omens #lost fic #ineffable husbands #mod d

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Hear me out…. Nathan taking care of his girl when she’s going through sub-drop after an intense session

I am hearing you <3 (Also sorry this took forever!)

Sub Drop

Nathan Bateman x F!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals • Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? • request info • ko-fi •

Warnings: swearing, Nathan being a softie, Nathan picking up reader (he doesn't care what size you are, it's HAPPENING.), typos, please let me know if I've missed a warning!

Word Count: 501

While I fully believe that Nathan has read every single book on BDSM and knows exactly what to do when someone experiences a sub drop, I also believe that the second it happens all his knowledge goes out the window. 

Just for a minute. 

He’s so used to fucking robots that interacting with a real person who does things outside of his control (or ability to press the off switch) makes his brain go errrrrrmmmmmmmmm…

He then gets annoyed with himself for A) forgetting knowledge and B) not being helpful when you’re going through something because no matter what he pretends, he cares about you and the idea of you going through a bad time (a real bad time not a sexy-oh-no-but-not-really bad time) makes him feel helpless. 

And he does not like feeling helpless. 

Asks if he can touch you, hold you, stroke your back and press little kisses to your cheeks and neck. 

He wraps you in the softest blanket he has and refuses to do anything without you. It’s like working on a computer problem for him, he can’t stop trying to ‘fix’ it, make you feel better.

If he’s coding/working you’re on his lap, holding you against his chest while he types. 

If he’s working out, then it’s New Work Out Time, which includes carrying you around the house. It doesn’t matter what size/shape you are, he’s carrying you. Deal with it. He needs to get his reps in. No, he isn’t putting you down. No, you have no choice in this. 

If he’s cooking (for both of you) he’ll put a chair in the kitchen close to where he’s working so he can kiss your forehead every minute. 

Asks you what you want. A favourite food/drink? He’s making it for you now. A bath/shower? He’s in there with you. Cuddles? It’s already happening. Watch something? TV’s already on. Just talk? Would you like to hear about 17th century sword making processes? Don’t worry about why he’s been researching that right now.

Reassures you however he can. Despite how he likes to come across, he’s a big softie. He does not like seeing you in pain or distress. He will word vomit about how much he cares about you. (He will be a big grump if you bring this up when you feel better.)

He doesn’t like if you have a sub drop because he feels like it’s a bad reflection on him. He doesn’t blame you for it at all, just himself. Thinks he should have done things differently, taken better care, been better for you. He’s misjudged the system, made you feel bad. He has to fix this. 

When you’re better, you end up having to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault. (Which he doesn’t like, because he doens’t want to make you feel like he’s putting things on you.) 

He’ll ask if you want a massage, which he has to stop after 2 minutes because he has a boner. 

Thank you for reading!

@pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @whatthefishh

@romanarose @strangerhands @saturn-rings-writes @lonelyisamyw-0love @queerponcho

@steven-grants-world  @eyelessfaces @angel-of-the-moons @minigirl87 @lunar-ghoulie

@silvernight-m @autismsupermusicalassassin @apesarecuul @reallyrallyauthor @basicalyrandom

@alwaysmicado @mangoslushcrush @marc-spectorr @soft-girl-musings  @spxctorsslxt

@novarosewood

If you'd like to be taken off the tag list please let me know here

#nathan bateman #ex machina #nathan bateman x reader #x reader #nathan bateman x you #x you #nathan bateman x female reader #x female reader #nathan bateman x f!reader #x f!reader #nathan bateman x fem!reader #x fem!reader #my writing #fanfic #oscar isaac #oscar isaac characters

[zensations35]

Who are your favorite artists/writers in the community?

Like many others, this question is so hard for me, mainly because I bounce around so many fandoms but here we goo, I'll try to make it organized. As always, the more I discover, the more I love!

If you need me to remove the tag, please let me know!!

Gonna start strong with more recent loves @very-freakin-effable (who just SLAPS with character voice and dialogue) and @instarsandcrime (the whole ass reason I fell in love with a short king)--WOOF those folks can WRITE. 🥰 And absolute JOYS to talk to. Always so kind and supportive to literally everyone. Champions of the new world order.

Special thanks to @softersteve for all of the good/om fics I still reread when I'm feeling down 🥹 Thank you for all of your ineffable fluff <3

My beautiful artists @hachiibun (who has amazing patreon streams), @kotyonoksnz (tirelessly working hard to bring us things we didn't know we needed), @nostrildamus (who has such BEAUTIFUL characters, and is SO SO supportive anytime I have big feels 🥰), @just-a-nervous-bean AND @kazewohiita (sketches are my guilty pleasure, and both of yalls comms were ABOVE LEVEL), @ghostlychill (brilliant with colors and expressions), all littering our comm with beautiful art hfff, where would we be without your gems!!

And of course, my comrades in arms @sfblah, @vahnibee, always hitting hard with such amazing OC writing content. They are the definition of quality over quantity. I have yet to see anything from them that doesn't outright drop me to the ground and cause an Zen-sized crater. Arughfff

Also going to (anxiously/nervously) mention @dodecahedral because I love love your plot driven story style (seriously. my fricken jam) and I have a couple I revisit at least once or twice a year almost like a religious holiday at this point. 👉👈 I know we don't interact but...it's because I am shy and have been enjoying from afar.

Ofc we have some who are good at...tons of different mediums like @onetrickponi, which...how even?? Impressive af!

I could go on (I really really could and I WANT to, because I...I want to list more of you wonderful folks whose stories have my jaw DROPPING (ahem @sucker-for-sniffles I need more of your prince/knight stories...) Dammit Zen stop typing!!)

Ok, taking the phone away now. I swear, I mean it when I say I adore ALL of you and if I could keep tagging I fucking would. But it would just devolve into a list of people I get notifications of. And...even that is too long. Ahahaha <3

#trying to keep this concise #but I knew I'd fail #I shouldn't have done this on my pain meds and past my bedtime #because I feel like I'm STILL forgetting people #and I wanted to get it done before then #ahhh you're all so good and wonderful #I have a love hate with these question bc I love praising people #but when I don't tag other fic/artists i also love bc it's been a while #i feel so bad #or i'll forget i just read a specific fic and be like NOOO THAT ONE TOO #like at a candy store WAIT THATONE TOO #zen it's time to go home #ask #zen answers #spread the love

[bleedingichorhearts]

𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐌𝐚𝐲: 𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗: Forgot to announce a tag list, so I am announcing one here. If you are tagged into my WH40k and Sentence you will be tagged here because this is WH40k in a way. Unless I am given orders to not tag you, I will remove you from this Mermay list, not any others. If you like to be tagged on this MerMay list you can comment/reblog here on “𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐬” or just do it under this post, I do not mind.

My main tag list is “ᴛᴀɢ ʟɪꜱᴛ ᴀᴘᴘʟɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ” if you’ll like to also go for any of my main writings.

𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖉: @kit-williams, @egrets-not-regrets, @bispecsual, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog.

TW // Biting, Injury, Blood.

Perhaps going to abandon places filled with dark waters were not a good place to go exploring in. This one was cold and gave off eerie vibes that something might be lurking down in those flat, dark depths of those waters. Something that could possibly just launch out at me, grab me and pull me right in to be eaten alive.

I shiver at the thought and keep my eyes on the body of water while heading into the next room. Moving my flashlight away from the quiet body of water when I deemed it safe enough than what I needed to see what was in front of me. Little dust particles flowing through the battery powered rays of light.

Moving my flashlight around the next room. This room seemed to be the main room of this place, being big enough to possibly host a 100, maybe a little bit more people in it? Not to mention the many other hallways that branched off to the other joints of the building. Some being filled to the brim with water, others being a bit more free to wander into.

Walking forward more into the center of the room. I shined my flashlight over the big glass cylinder in front of me. The glint of the dusty sign scratching on the glass taking my attention for a second as I read the indented metal sign. Barely reading “Marine Sanctuary” a really old aquarium I remember reading about before exploring this building in the overgrown forest.

This… Sanctuary used to be so prospering. Filled with all sorts of aquatic creatures ranging from fresh and salt water. Tall and bushy deep green plants settling in selections where a tank couldn’t fit; like near a staircase, bathrooms and the gift shops. Making you feel like you didn’t leave from the jungle outside… or at least that’s what I imagined it to be like; seeing a small flier pinned on a gas station’s pinboard. I have never been in this Sanctuary before. I wasn’t even born when it was built and broken down for reasons I couldn’t find.

It’s what made me want to find this place and maybe share it with my family to explore. If, it was safe enough. I wasn’t going to lead my family into hazardous, abandoned buildings out of the blue, not without a safety check by me.

Turning my gaze to the glass tank behind the sign, I couldn’t see anything but murky water in there. It almost looked like a solid compound if it weren’t for the occasional speck of movement in there. Microscopic creatures and bacteria living inside of there.

I almost shiver again at the thought of just getting drowned in that. Swallowing all that unknown disease into my stomach. I would for sure think I should have to get my stomach sizzled then. I wound not be living after that. I didn’t think I could.

So much for hoping this place was safely intact.

Flashing the area around me again. I checked which hallway was the most safest to go down through without water blocking the way. Finding about 6 hallways with signs above the archway labeled with the classic “Sea Turtles” are over there or “Deep Depths” types of fish over here.

Though, only 2 hallways seemed safe enough to wander through without it looking it would collapse underneath the water damage this place held. One of the hallways being labeled as “The Twilight Zone” and the other being labeled as “The Abyss” and if schooling didn’t have these movie times I wouldn’t have known what The Abyss was the deep, dark of the ocean. I would have went through with that hallway because it sounded cool.

So, I clearly went with the more seeable and more survivable option. The Twilight Zone, just before the Sunlight Zone.

Making my way towards the decided hallway, I could have sworn I saw something in one of the other hallways filled with water. My light flashing over to the hallway for a double check. Seeing nothing but flat water inside of the hallway. Maybe… it was just a speck of dust fooling my jumpy nerves? Yeah, that was it, just a speck of dust.

Slowly turning back to my main goal of giving into a different room. I didn’t completely trust my own brain to let that body of water leave my peripheral vision until I was in the other selection of the aquarium.

This selection of the building showed signs everywhere of the Twilight Zone creatures they had to offer: Confetti Squid, Strawberry Squid, Bobtail Squid, Dreamer Angler, and Lantern Fish.

Of course, there is more to this selection to just those rarity’s, but the build was abandoned. There wasn’t much to see besides its ruins and damn! Do I forget how dark the Twilight Zone can really be for being 200-1,000 meters below the surface of the ocean. I don’t know if this was still better than The Abyss or not.

Taking a closer look to the tanks crafted into the wall. Somewhere broken and cracked over the floor while there were others that had that same murky water like the tank in the lobby with nothing really in them, just the same dangerous microscopic creatures and bacteria.

I sigh out in disappointment and move away from the tanks, looking for a place to sit in this let down of an aquarium. Finding a cement pillar on the ground next to a pool of water that was no doubt another safety hazard. Just what did this pillar support before? The caving in ceiling?

I shake my head at the obvious and take a seat on the pillar thinking of how this exploration was more of a let down than I thought it would be. There was no living fish to be seen. Which is expected from an abandoned aquarium, but one could hope there was still something left out of it. The aesthetic of it was cool, but there really wasn’t much to see and half the building was flooded with the flora outside coming in though the cracks of the cement walls.

…It would be a surprise if the electricity still worked here. Maybe I should try and find that box? Try and turn it on?

Plop, plop.

Plop, plop.

The hairs on my arms and neck stand. My heart jumpstarting in my chest as I look around me for the source. That sound definitely was not here when I first entered this room. I would have known that from the start.

Plop, plop.

Plop, plop.

My gut twists as I quickly stand back up from the pillar. Should I leave this place? Was it just a sudden failure in some water pipes? Oh, should definitely leave this place.

Plop, plop—

A sudden black and white creature launches out from the water pool next to the pillar. Its hands, claws extended out at me with its mouth wide open; filled with shark-like teeth. Its long dark gray tounge rolling inside of its mouth as it hisses at me. Glossy gray eyes looking straight at me.

I couldn’t move away from its hollow stare. This moment feeling so slow to me, but so fast when this creature latches onto my shoulder, piercing through my clothing and into my skin. A cry ripping from my throat as I fall onto my back at the force. Its teeth desperately trying to rip any shed of skin and muscle it could get.

Oh, this moment felt like it was going to be my last. The last time I would have seen my family, my friends with how my own red blood splattered into the bony, scaly skin of this horrid creature. Its eyes never blinking as its thrashes at my body. Ripping and tearing at my clothing as I try to protect myself against its much power build. My hands pushing and clawing up at the blood seeking creatures slimy and dark gray scales.

I whimper and achingly, painfully curl up on myself. Tears building up and down my cheeks when the creature seems satisfied with its work, pushing up and off of me. Wanting to see me bleed out beneath its soulless gaze like some sort of psychopath.

If only I wasn’t so out of my own lifeline and hope of returning back to my family. I would have noticed how this creature screeched and gurgled. Clutching at its chest as its bones snap in half, dark blue blood staining the ground. How the ground itself rumbled before this… purring reaches my ears. Weird silky warmth being repeatedly pressed into my torn shoulder, stinging at me as I whine uncomfortably at the sensation.

Leaning away from the stinging warmth the best I could. The purring turns into a coo for a second, another solid warmth presses up against my back with more solid warm things wrapped around me before the persistent warmth and purring continued. Bringing me a slow sense of… peace in my situation. My muscles slowly relaxing in its hold.

…Safe, I felt safe in this warmth.

Safe. Safe you are, little Maiden. Always safe with me.

ℕ𝕖𝕩𝕥 𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪: 𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐮𝐬

ℙ𝕣𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪: 𝐒𝐜𝐲𝐥𝐥𝐚

𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕃𝕚𝕤𝕥: 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐬

#Ichor’s Chronicles #mermay #warhammer 40k #x reader #reader insert #oc: solor #gray knight #sea monster #tw: injury #tw: blood #no we don’t die #we too cool for that #get kidnapped though!

[annwrites]

i already have ♰˳⸙;;

— pairing: shane walsh x fem!reader (gn! in this post, but fem! in other installments i have/will post(ed))

— type: ficlet

— summary: you & shane share your beliefs in a short conversation in a church

— tags: talking

— tw: suicidal ideation, religion

— word count: 930

— a/n: find my other posts concerning shane, which take place after & before this, here | the views reader expresses towards going to church are my own. if you don't like it, don't read

You stare up at the crucifix before you, feeling devoid of anything.

No.

Not anything.

Hopelessness is the one thing you do feel.

One dead-end after another. That's the only thing you all do seem able to find.

The CDC and Jenner had had no answers. Not with his wife being gone.

The highway and Dale's RV blowing a radiator hose had left all of you stranded in the middle of nowhere.

And now you were here.

You'd all felt so hopeful to hear that bell ringing. You'd prayed to a God who clearly wasn't listening—if he ever had—for it to lead you toward something. To Sophia.

She'd never been here in the first place.

You glance to Carol and can practically feel the grief and desperation rolling off of her. You don't want to believe that Sophia is gone. Or worse: being out there alone in the woods...

If the wrong people—the wrong men—came across her... You don't want to think about how she'd never have a chance.

Death would be kinder.

So you stare at Him—crying tears of blood—and wonder how His father, who knows what it is to lose a child, could allow such a thing?

The wooden bench creaks as Shane sets down beside you. "Didn't know you were religious."

He says it softly, his tone anything but mocking, even if he himself doesn't believe. Doesn't understand how you can—if you indeed do, that is. But if you do—have some sort of faith, something to believe in—he'll just be glad if it finally turns out that you have something that may perhaps help to keep you going.

"I'm not."

The thought of the possibility of you taking comfort in something more, even if you can't see it, quickly disappears. He leans back, resting him arm behind you, all thoughts of encouraging you to take a Bible with you when you all leave now gone.

You're quiet for a moment, then, "Are you?"

He shrugs. "Not really. Never was my thing, I guess. Hard to believe when you're witness to the shit I was as a cop." He looks at you. "Were you ever?"

You shrug then as well. "My parents made me go to church when I was little. Like a lot of kids, especially in the south. I never liked it. The getting up early, and being forced into uncomfortable clothes, and the way my mom did my hair. I didn't like how the other kids were mean to me, or how I would sit on those uncomfortable wooden pews and stare up at a preacher yelling words and passages at me that I couldn't understand. I didn't like how judgmental so many in the congregation seemed to be, even toward each other. Once I was old enough to make the decision not to go anymore, I stopped attending. I didn't regret it."

You look at him and his head is now resting atop his fist as he simply looks at you. You're unsure of the soft look in his eyes.

"So what'd you start believin' in instead? If anythin'."

You glance down to your lap. "Nothing in particular, I guess. I just...I suppose I tried to just see the beauty in nature instead. In the plants and trees, insects and animals, fresh air and clear water. Occasionally even people." You look up to him. "The way I am now—who I am now—is nothing like the way I was before. I didn't need to look for a reason to live, because I didn't need one. Because I didn't want to die."

He uses his other hand that isn't propping his head up to reach out and take your right hand, holding it firmly—comfortingly—in his grip.

"What if that reason was another person?" He looks at you from under his lashes.

You look down to your hand that's in his, watching as his thumb rubs soothing circles on the back of yours. "I don't know how to make you realize you're wasting your time-"

He cuts you off, taking his other hand and lacing it between strands of your hair at the back of your head, gently massaging. "I don't know how to make you realize the only waste would be your life being cut so damn short."

You think back to the things he'd said to you that night in the RV—I refuse to just let you slip through my fingers—he made it sound like...like you were something he'd finally found after having looked for you for so long.

You can't keep doing this to him: insisting that you want to be left alone to die. You'd done it twice now. And while what happened on the highway had been an accident...had he not had his eye on you— not seen you pass out—you may've slipped away right there in the middle of the road. So, he had saved you a third time. And even now he was still trying to talk you into staying...alive.

Giving up was easy. The thought of trying to hold on? It feels near-impossible now. Like lifting a giant boulder and carrying it with you every step of the way.

"Do you believe we'll find her?"

He studies you for a moment. "I hope so."

"Do you believe we'll find...something, or somewhere worth living for?"

He leans toward you, gently pressing his forehead to yours, closing his eyes. "I already have," he says in a whisper, before pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

#fic: twd (shane walsh x reader) #shane walsh x y/n #shane walsh x reader #shane walsh imagine #twd x y/n #twd x you #twd x reader

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

take my love take it down

by muchadoaboutsometing “—told the attendees that Wayne’s donation would be used to increase opportunity for those in foster care.” Jason laughed. “Isn’t that a good thing?” Tim asked. “We’ll never see a dime.” The eldest sighed. Dick Grayson and his foster brothers have fallen through the cracks. Living with a parent only interested in the checks, Dick’s taken on the responsibility of making sure his little family stays fed and together, no matter what. But when the sun goes down, he dawns the domino mask of Robin. While Batman plays hero with the city's kingpins, he helps the little guy. - Bruce Wayne’s newest philanthropy project is focused on children's services. But handing over check after check doesn���t seem to give him the feeling that he’s doing anything. At least there's Batman. But it’s lonely work, living by the moonlight. At least it is until he meets Robin. The vigilante is like a breath of fresh air. Eager, friendly, and surprisingly good company, even for a patented loner. As their interactions on the street grow, Bruce’s walls begin to crumble. But once he starts asking questions, he can’t stop, and he can’t take personal stake in the affairs of Batman. Or can he? Words: 3894, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: Gen Characters: Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Jim Gordon Relationships: Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Batfamily (DCU), Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Foster Care, Good Parent Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson-centric, Dick Grayson is Robin, Protective Dick Grayson, Alfred Pennyworth is a Saint, Batfamily (DCU) Feels, Minor Original Character(s), Secret Identity, this came to me at 3 am and i cant stop writing via https://ift.tt/0K34FVx

#IFTTT #bruce wayne #batman #the dark knight #the caped crusader #gotham #dcu #dc #ao3 #ao3feed

[rippledawn]

among all the pain there was you | mapi leon x ingrid engen

AN: So funny story but I actually wrote this back in February at the encouragement of a friend. But then I never got around to typing it up, so it's just been sitting in a notebook for a couple months. I'm sick this weekend though, and so with my new found free time I finally got around to polishing it off, and here we are. This is also available on ao3 for anyone who prefers.

I've never written anything for this fandom before, but soccer has taken a hold of my obsessions like no other, so. Hope people enjoy!

Tags: injury, hurt/comfort, fluff

When Mapi had torn her meniscus, at first all she’d felt was pain. She had felt a pop in her knee, and immediately the pain had begun to rush in, forcing her to the ground.

But after she had been taken off the training pitch and healthily dosed up with painkillers, the dread had begun to set in. She knew this was bad. The scans hadn’t been done yet, but she knew what she had felt, and it wasn’t good. Even worse, Ingrid was out with a cold today, and couldn’t be there to comfort her.

“How bad is it?” Mapi asked the doctor.

“We won’t know for sure till we can run more tests tomorrow, but I’m sorry Mapi, it doesn’t look good.”

All Mapi wanted to do now was go home and cry. This was it, her season was over. And she hadn’t gotten the chance to help Barcelona win the league for the 5th time in a row, or get them to another champions league final, or lift the Supercopa trophy one more time.

And what about the team? Jana and Irene were both already injured, and while Ingrid was doing a great job filling in as a centre-back it wasn’t her natural position by any means.

As Mapi was trying to hold herself together, she looked up at a knock on the door to see Ingrid standing there, waiting to come in.

“Corazón, what are you doing here? You’re sick, you should be at home, resting.” Mapi motioned for Ingrid to enter the room.

“Of course I am here Maria, I came as soon as I heard you were injured. You are the most important thing to me. Now come, let me take you home.”

Mapi was really struggling to hold back the tears now that Ingrid was here. But she grabbed her crutches and nodded.

Ingrid stayed close to her as Mapi hobbled her way out of the Barcelona training centre.

“How are you really feeling, min kjaere?” Ingrid asked softly.

“I’m fine, corazón,” Mapi tried to put on a brave face and smile but Ingrid looked at her with doubt in her eyes.

“Alright Maria, let’s just get you home, ok?”

Mapi nodded and they headed to the car.

—

The whole car ride home, Mapi could feel Ingrid chancing glances filled with worry over at her every time the car stopped, but she struggled to keep herself together and not let herself fall apart.

As they pulled into the driveway Mapi let out a shaky sigh. All she wanted to do was go lay in bed and cry, but she didn’t want to worry Ingrid. She would be fine eventually, no need to make a big deal out of it.

“Come on kjaere, let’s get you inside.”

Ingrid was looking at her like she was made of glass. Something precious that needed to be treated with care. It only made Mapi want to cry more.

They entered the house and Ingrid got Mapi settled on the couch while she went to go order dinner.

“What would you like for dinner, kjaere? I’m thinking we could order your favourite, sushi? How does that sound?”

Mapi just nodded mutely while Ingrid looked on in concern.

“How are you really feeling, Maria? And don’t tell me you’re fine, you clearly aren’t fine, and you don’t have to be.”

Mapi finally broke and burst into tears. Ingrid immediately sat down and pulled Mapi into her arms.

“Oh shh, shh, just let it all out, I’ve got you.”

Ingrid sat there and held Mapi while she cried for what felt like ages, feeling like her own heart was breaking the whole while.

“Come on Maria, talk to me, let me support you.”

“That’s the rest of my season over, Ingrid. I know it hasn’t been confirmed but I know my own body. I don’t know if I can cope with being out for that long, I’ve never done this before.”

Mapi looked like she was about to burst into sobs again and Ingrid pulled her close and held her tight.

“It’ll be ok Maria, you won’t have to get through this alone. I’ll be here for you every step of the way.”

“But what if I can’t do it, Ingrid? What if I never play like I did before, what if I never come back.”

The look of fear and sadness in Mapi’s eyes had Ingrid wishing she could give up her own knee if it meant Mapi didn’t have to go through this.

“Shh, shh, don’t talk like that min kjaere. You’re so strong, you’re going to get through this and come back even stronger. And if you don’t? Well, we’ll deal with that like we do everything, together.”

Ingrid pulled Mapi even further into her arms, trying to provide as much comfort as she could to the still shaking woman in her arms.

Mapi began to finally calm down. Everything was still a mess, but at least Ingrid was here with her to get her through this.

“Let’s get you to bed kjaere, we can cuddle until the food arrives.”

As Mapi settled into Ingrid’s arms she started to finally believe that everything would really be ok, because Ingrid was here and together they could face anything.

#woso #mapi leon #ingrid engen #mapi leon x ingrid engen #hurt/comfort #woso fanfics

[amanitacurses]

Sparkler

#legend of zelda #legend of zelda link #ocarina of time #ocarina of time link #ocarina of time dark link #dark link #dark link x link #loz #loz link #loz dark link #I HAVE A TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP I LIKE- CLEARLY- I AM //SORRY// #I don't think they have a ship name because I don't think this is something widely shipped #which is insane to me because vidow exists #but I guess that was popularized by the FSA manga so /shrug-emoji #anyway I was super nervous about posting this #ha ;;;;;;; #NOT LINKED UNIVERSE #seriously stop tagging with lu or linked universe #That said this isn't really an au either- just some designs I decided to make because I liked them #Dark is out there feeling ONE WHOLE emotion and subsequently feeling utterly scandalized

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I will make your weird masochist friend call you a tsundere and beg for you to hit him

#read the tags #this is entirely my own fault #i am very aggressive and use threats in real life just like i do on here #and to be fair i kept doing it after i found out because i crave chaos #i mean the whole situation is objectively really fucking funny so here we are #tw kink mention #figured I'd better mention that just in case #adam if you did decide to make a tumblr and follow me then uhhhh #sorry lol #i'm threatening people with you now because that's just how it goes #mod lore #(i feel so weird typing that but also i think it's an objectively funny tag) #(haha. i have lore.) #lizzy is going to see this and laugh at me #my friends know about this blog if they ever check it I'm never gonna hear the end of this one #because of the tags not because of the post itself #like to be fair i did once choke him to make him shut up. in hindsight i have no idea why i thought that was a good idea

[meamiiikiii]

a double post! there are two polls for outfit deciding right now as of uh. posting. but here is the one for odile!

what i mean by "main fit": the outfit she will be wearing most often whenever she is around. the other options will not be blasted into nothingness tho! they will sit in her wardrobe and will be used much more sparingly compared to the main.

#isat #isat odile #in stars and time #reverse entry au #isat modern office au #a rare double post omg #but lmao i was working on fits for both parallel to one another so i finished same time LOL #also random side note but i feel like odiles regular outfit is very office core #or rather #it is something i feel like i have seen someone wear in the office #at least the whole big cardigan #button downish top #black pants and flats type combo yanno #i am tired i dont think this mumbling makes any sense and i will read this later and think what was i typing #oh well thats for future me to deal with AHAHA #anyway time to sleep asfassfa #thank you all in advance for helping me decide as an Indecisive person #tag talk over afsaadsaa

[front-facing-pokemon]

#this one's like a fucking mystery. who's that pokémon?? what pokémon is this?? you can't fucking tell unless you open the cut or read below #where i tag what pokémon it is. i think i'm gonna put this one's tags above the actual name of the pokémon just to throw y'all for a loop #because this one? i don't even KNOW what counts as front-facing. i'm ASSUMING it's the top one?? but the prey eyes are just #unbelievable so i included that one under the cut. i don't even know if i can consider that “prey eyes” at this point. what is this thing?? #what's the thing protruding?? a mouth?? it doesn't lend itself to making it look any more like a moon! it just— it just protrudes!! #i really just don't understand. what or why this pokémon is or exists. what type is it? pure psychic? #nnnNNAURP rock/psychic. can't believe i forgot about the rock typing considering the way that guy with the solrock in swsh #raid battles used it. whatever i think i've successfully revealed what pokémon this is by now #lunatone #and yes‚ i know now that zangoose walks on all fours in pmd. THANK YOU!!! FOR TELLING ME. EVERYONE ON TUMBLR #i got it when the first person told me. i looked them up. i saw them. with my eyes. i feel like i've talked about pmd enough in these tags #and in asks that i've answered that you all should know how much of a pmd fan i am by now but i guess it's GOOD TO CONFIRM #perhaps no one really does read these tags. unless they have an opportunity to correct me. lasered in on that #i'm not like mad i'm just like WOW everyone told me. that is SO many people telling me after the first one did and i know SO hard #anyway. i'm gonna go remove these tags from the dusclops post. pphhhheew

[nurseydexunsolved]

“you are poseidon’s son”

“i am SALLY JACKSON’S son!”

THATS MY MAMAS BOYYYY thats my baby percy right there

#i am such a genius i am having the BEST new years ever #my friends are at a bar fighting for drinks and i am chugging cheap champagne watching pjo having a BLAST #literally NO hyperfixation hits like percy jackson hits let me tell you. that was the first and deepest of them #i distinctly remember pre-adhd-diagnosis summer feeling divine levels of euphoria when son of neptune came out #and being like. i am not normal. the joy i am feeling rn is the most intense thing i think anyones ever experienced ever #anyone i felt something similar when i heard the first lines of this show #the amount of times i have said THATS MY BABYYYYY at the screen is. concerning #I CANT WAIT FOR ANNABETH TO BE ANNABETH ALL OVER THE PLACE MY FIRST SELF-INSERT I LOVE YOU SO DEARLY<3 #guys i literally dont think anyones having a better new years than me rn #the only thing that would make this better is Not having to go to work tomorrow lol #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #percy series #percy jackson #wait hold on look at this first tag that came up when i typed percy’s name #percy w severe amnesia looking at 10 ft tall god of war: i feeeel like you’re a bitch

[corfisers]

i really need to finish this one day

#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully #anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason #incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up #you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot #he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him #in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened. #you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from #you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help? #doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance #proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long #yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him #yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that #and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do” #“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem” #(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.) #he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway #but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again. #something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh #for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been #which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad #but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence? #she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”. #wips tag

[yuseirra]

if there's one thing I personally focus on when I draw something, it would be the emotions. I try to convey the exact emotions of a character when I make art, and portray how they'd be feeling at that exact situation, as they say something, and so on...

I try to feel the same feelings they would when I draw an expression, as close as I can get at least, it's what I do over and over. You don't really have to do that ofc, but for me, it's a huge part of the point and it's really fun to do! It's what I believe could give my drawings more life and make them more genuine, even if it's a sketch (in fact, sometimes sketches can be more powerful on that aspect so I used to stick to drawing exclusively those for a very long time). That's how I pour my heart in, and I'm sure a lot of artists would do the same in their own ways when they create their works.

For that same reason, I really like drawing smiles (and characters that can make genuine ones) because that makes me happy. Other feelings are cool, too, but drawing happy art is so soothing, so I draw a lot of smiles!! It's also why I feel the need to understand a character, because you can't exactly feel what they'd be feeling unless you aren't so aware of what they're going through. I wouldn't be entirely right, I'm sure, but I really want to try. It's maybe why I usually stick to drawing a select few characters from a series all the time, because there are some characters I "get" better than others, and feel I can bring out better(and most of the time, luckily, those kinds of characters end up to be my favs, so I can draw then alot ;v;) Then again, I'm seeing them through my own lens of thinking, I'm just putting out what I see in those characters in the end. But it's usually the good things I love! Or something I feel is really intriguing and want to think about, or want to explore on, emphasize? Anyhow, it's the feelings and emotions part I've always been interested about! So I hope I can do that well!

My drawings aren't perfect, but they aren't too bad either, and I've been trying all the way. If they could imbue some sort of feeling for you, that's definitely what I wanted to accomplish! It makes me so excited when I get feedbacks about it being able to make someone "feel" something.. it means what I wanted got across so I'm like "yes"!!

it'd be nice if they will feel genuine one way or another!! I was and is and will be happy to continue to share my works with you all

#random blabbering #hehe #I recently got really nice tags and I #I kind of want to go and thank ppl individually for that but I was out of energy... I missed the timing.. #drawing makes me think about feelings #characters too #so I really like seeing characters that can make big genuine smiles from the heart #ofc I love other types of characters too #but sometimes you just need to think about that kind of feeling and it exists #and I love characters that are literal saints right.. those kind of characters have always been my favs #they are very inspiring and thinking-not just thinking but trying to feel how they would be feeling..is really good for the soul I think #I wish I could be strong like them and genuinely feel like that #(you could a little as you draw #being immersed is very nice #and I hope what I draw could be that way for someone #here I am writing at midnight..I don't know if what I'm writing's making good sense but wish you all the best #thank you for seeing my drawings together with me!! #I CAN draw some self-indulgent stuff that'd not exactly cater to be educational or inspiring yeah but #I probably won't mean bad. I want to have fun~which I've been!! for so long

[beevean]

Some other thoughts, because I cannot and will not shut up.

This is Hector and Isaac's very second scene in the show. Hector ends up staring at Dracula's fireplace: he reminisces of his abusive parents, and how he set his house on fire with them inside. This immediately tells us, along with Dracula's speeches, what kind of person Hector is: despite his apparent softness that we'll see later on, he can be ruthless enough to kill, or at the very least punish, those who have wronged him.

Much later, Hector has been brought to the lowest point of his life. He's listening as the woman he has given his heart to is gleefully humiliating him in front of her sisters, describing in detail how he's going to be treated as a tool, as a dildo, as a pet, and only because he trusted the wrong person. Multiple times, in fact. He has been hurt by one too many people.

And by the time Hector's fate is sealed, the fireplace acts as the framing.

Basic cinematic symbolism indicates that Hector's backstory would be become relevant in the next season. As a child, he killed his abusers. And now he's in the clutches of two other people who abused his trust and good nature and stripped him of all freedom and dignity.

So, was Hector meant to set the entire castle on fire, and kill Carmilla and Lenore for what they did to him? And then it was changed to make the season artificially happier? Would it have been the narratively more sensible course of action?

Well, not necessarily. As fun as it is to imagine Hector taking revenge on those two pieces of shit, subversion of expectations can still be done well. And, to be fair, while Hector did kill his parents and is certainly not above murder in general, he seems to not be inherently violent in nature, even against someone who hurt him:

Carmilla has lied to him, insulted him, and coerced him into indirectly killing his master. He still speaks to her very candidly.

From what was shown until S3, Hector needs to be pushed to his absolute limit before he starts considering violence, but once he does, he has no mercy. The most obvious proof is his disastrous attempt to threaten Lenore:

Yeah, as ill thought as this was, I don't blame him for being this desperate, after the torture he was recently put through. From a certain perspective, it would have been nice to see a recreation of this scene, but with a Hector acting smarter, having learned from his mistakes.

However, to be honest, I don't think that seeing such a gentle character being brought to horrific violence would have been cathartic. It would have been tragic. It would have been actually a bad thing, a reason to be scared and to pity him. And it still wouldn't have addressed his utter apathy when it comes to keeping humans in a cage: hell, that act would have made him as bad as Isaac in S3.

With that being said, I will never, ever, accept how he was written after that scene.

I'm going to use an excellently written show to talk about the difference between taking the high road, and forgiveness.

Our good horseman here has been abused since infancy by his utter monster of a mother, who delighted in making him feel guilty for daring to be alive. Long story short, she is now old, weak, and senile to the point where she can't recognize him anymore. Bojack is planning to finally vent all of his anger for all she did to him, as soon as she's lucid enough - and who could blame him? By this point, no one would shed a tear for a woman who did her very best to ruin her son's life. Hell, some might have cheered when he more or less bullied her by "killing" her doll. No mercy for an abuser, right?

However, in a brilliant display of foreshadowing, the audience is made to suspect that Bojack won't actually get to tell his mother off. He already wasted the seasonal F-bomb here! And there are no freebies. So what's going to happen? Will Bojack simply be prevented from finally facing the woman who ruined his life, deprived by outside circumstances of the catharsis he needs?

No. He does it himself.

Right when he has Beatrice where he wants, in a terrible retirement home and finally lucid enough to recognize her son... right after she has committed her last unforgivable act and secretly poisoned Hollyhock with appetite suppressants until she overdosed... Bojack chooses to not hurt her.

He could have. She would have listened to him. The viewers would have understood. But instead, the last moment Bojack could talk with his mother is used to soothe her confusion and fear, and give her a comforting vision where she can feel loved and like everything is alright.

Bojack is not one to do selfless acts without getting anything in return, and he doesn't know anything about her terrible past that we viewers have witnessed through the episode that explain why she was so bitter towards her son: so this act of pity towards the person he hates the most in his life speaks wonders of his character and growth.

But he did not forgive her. The entirety of Free Churro is dedicated to Bojack's painful eulogy of Beatrice, where he makes clear that he still resents her, and the only reason he's sorry for her death is that now he knows that he has lost the chance to have a good relationship with the one who was supposed to care about him.

Beatrice was shown wanting to reconnect with Bojack, almost as an apology. But even if her personality didn't got in the way of a proper reconcilement, nothing she could have done would have made up for the pain she caused Bojack, and he's right in still remembering her as a cruel person. But still, we remember that one moment of kindness he gave her as one of the most powerful scenes in a powerful story, for the build-up and for the significance it has for both characters.

Bojack Horseman did a wonderful job in exploring the complicated feelings that arise from being a victim of abuse. It's not just hatred and desire for revenge: there is a deeper connection, and care despite everything, and regret, and longing, and wishful thinking, and all sorts of uncomfortable feelings that are hard to explain to someone on the outside.

Needless to say that Netflixvania only wishes it could have reached the heights of Bojack Horseman, and Hector is not conflicted about Lenore. He's not anything. He shows no tension when he talks with her as if they were friends (it's the very first scene we see with them after Hector cried over being made a slave in S3); he shows no resentment when he talks about the ring that she forced on him to make him a useful tool, as he was a mere "problem to be solved"; his one attempt to address what Lenore did to him is brushed off as a sick joke that he takes in stride; he shows no confusion in his attempts to reconcile the Lenore who talks to him like someone worthy of respect with the Lenore who sadistically took advantage of his vulnerability to trap him. And needless to say, Lenore doesn't exactly get a good justification as to why she thought to resort to rape by deception to get her way, leaving fans to scramble to find one that still leaves her sympathetic enough.

It's only when Isaac storms the castle that Hector finally shows the slightest twinge of resignation when he cages Lenore to allow him to do his thing, but also to protect the woman who apparently protected him as well. Only now there is emotion in his voice, care and regret at the same time. Once more, much like Alucard killing Dracula, it's a big emotional payoff to nothing - worse than nothing, even.

Hector leaving Lenore alive, even protecting her from Isaac, could have been him taking the high road. Instead of going on a rampage like subtly implied by the framing, he could have shown her pity, for understanding that for all her cruelty and manipulation, she too was just a pawn in Carmilla's insane scheme (admittedly the parallel intended by the narrative, but not addressed enough). It would have fit with the general idea that revenge is for children (the development that was given to Isaac), and perhaps, in a way, we can consider it the fitting punishment for Lenore: being precisely being forced to live and see what exactly she has become. If written well, the subversion of the revenge ending could have been brilliant, and poignant.

But there's nothing there, except some shallow banter wasted on Carmilla and dick jokes and some flat voice acting. There is no inner turmoil. Hector just likes Lenore for no proper reason, which, if we pretend the writing was not a rushed mess, implies that he forgave her off screen and now everything is all peachy between them. As if what Lenore did was that easy to forgive. And if it was that easy, regardless of whether it was forgivable or not, then why should I be impressed?

It doesn't speak of Hector's supposed good nature. It's not an admirable act of strength. The choice to let go was not pondered, because it was apparently never a choice. We are eventually left with a nothing narrative, one that doesn't address the events of the previous season except in the form of a joke, one that doesn't allow the characters to grow but rather to regress (because remember, Hector's big badass moment of trapping Lenore and cutting his finger is in the context of him wanting to bring back Dracula and letting himself be killed by Isaac), one that doesn't explore the complicated relationship between a kind mistress and her well-treated pet that was deceived into imprisonment, and one that offers no catharsis whatsoever when it comes to the end, where Lenore kills herself out of nowhere and Hector lets her go after at most one second of hesitation (I have my idea on how that scene should have went - oh look, another comparison with BH :P). And we're left with accidental but vile apologism, instead of the nuanced tale about abuse that we could have had. It would have been so easy, even with the time restraints.

And it wasn't even intentional. It's just sloppy writing hailed as something deeper than it actually is.

(I keep reading in the comment people who gush about Hector showing compassion to Lenore, instead of comparing Carmilla lying to her to Lenore lying to him. I get the parallel and I get the superficial sweetness. This story should not have happened after petty rape by deception: remove that, and all the bonding suddenly makes sense. I want to fix it so badly.)

#Youtube #anti netflixvania #i think i should tag these posts as anti l/h #although i don't want it to appear in the tag #i'm sorry but brain keeps braining and i feel the need to vent #again i understand if i am blocked or told that i am repetitive lol #i'm just so fascinated by this type of story and the dissonance between how it was written and the reception makes me explode #i want to see what you guys see! i can't! #btw i could have used su as another example #but i already feel too cringe and i have made my point i think #long post #sorry sorry i keep saying the same things i am aware