#i can see from your bio that you’re also a minor but that doesn’t necessarily make it ok so

[heathersproship]

There’s a person from my fandom who’s very much an unhinged anti. “Proshippers DNI!!” in their bio and all. First line of defense?

Exactly!! What the fuck indeed!

According to them, it’s always morally correct to tell a transphobe to kill themselves. Like. They really said that with their whole chest. It’s always morally correct to tell someone to kill themselves. ALWAYS.

Lol why are they so pressed?

Listen. Just because someone is shitty, that doesn’t give you the right to be shitty back. If they make you uncomfortable, BLOCK them. Seriously. If they’re threatening you, suicide-baiting you, calling you slurs, report as harassment and BLOCK that shit. Delete that shit. DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THAT SHIT. It’s one thing to post anon hate to show you’re standing high above the bs, it’s another to post it squatting down face-to-face with the level of stink. Not even squatting, they went full-on facefirst rolling in it like a pig in mud, squawking and all.

The best (worst?) part? This person is 18+. This person is an adult. That’s the scary part. If they were a minor under 16, it would still be bad but it’d be a bit more understandable (not necessarily more forgivable), but this person. Is. An. ADULT.

An adult is saying it’s okay, MORALLY CORRECT, ALWAYS MORALLY CORRECT, to TELL ANOTHER PERSON to KILL. THEMSELVES.

People can change (not this one though, apparently). Homophobes sometimes stop being homophobic. Antis sometimes stop being antis (again, not this one). And if they do, if there is a chance they can or will, and they take it, they will not be able to do that if they are dead.

Thank fucking GOD they left the fandom. Thank the Lord they’re not making anything for this fandom anymore. Thank the stars their mid works can be lost and forgotten in the void of the Internet because my god, this fandom doesn’t need that. It doesn’t need that. This fandom is bad enough, it doesn’t need that. This is HEATHERS, where the main couple murders their classmates and write it off as suicides. Where being gay was used as a JOKE and a punchline. WHY WERE YOU EVEN HERE?

I hope this anti consecutively steps on a thousand Legos.

I hope they always have ice cold feet under their warm covers.

I hope they never take the perfect bite of food. May your soups be too hot for the insides of your cheeks and your ice cream too cold for your teeth.

I hope your media players always show the little buffering loading circle every few minutes, even when the gray line is longer than the red one.

I hope your WiFi has that yellow yielding triangle in the corner when you need the Internet most. And your printer refuse to print when you need it most.

But most of all, I hope you never get involved in fandom again. I hope people who know about you see who you are, lose any bit of respect for you they had, and withdraw all support because your takes are the ones that are rancid. You are the toxic one. You are the one doing more harm than any proshipper could ever do.

The funny thing about this is they followed one of my blogs, touched my posts, and I’m pretty sure they sent me an ask once on anon. I recognized their name from some minor drama (also they’re a movie supremist 🙄) and thank god I blocked them when I did. Big yikes my guy. Red flag by the bunch.

#proship #antis dni #antis don’t interact #proshippers please interact #proshipper safe #anti harassment #tw suibaiting #what is your damage Heather?

[rindearest]

wah wah uni/modern AU headcanons/word vomit underneath bc i’m bored

sfw stuff for once; probably a lot of projecting my uni experience on to characters lmao, a sprinkle of slander (a whole serving for naoya)

gojo, geto, nanami, haibara, naoya under the cut

gojo

double majoring in physics + mathematics. survives off of sugar/sweets to get him through all nighters. lives in the physics department building.

comes off as the kinda student who ALWAYS has to have something going on because they don’t want to be alone in their thoughts.

TAs for introductory courses and is the worst kind of TA; not that he’s an ass or anything. he’s really into the topic and that’s great! but explains things like “so you go like this, and like zoom here? but also there’s a whoosh that kinda changes things.” like sir? i just asked what newton’s third law was.

will try to haze underclassmen into doing stupid things. (jumping in a nearby lake, running naked across the football field, stuff like that)

still a pretty good student; does make some dumb decisions (has definitely taken an exam high on some type of illicit drug just to see what happens)

heckles conspiracy theorists/animal rights activists when they’re on campus. 

steals plates/utensils from campus dining, has amassed a giant pile of utensils by the end of the year.

bonus text message bc i felt like it:

geto

philosophy major + animal bio/zoology major(? or minor)

not related to his major but he also comes off as the type that would read horror fiction in his spare time (idk lovecraftian fiction in particular feels like it would ring with him)

is an RA. he didn’t want to live off campus because it’s too expensive but didn’t want to have roommates in a campus dorm either. best of both worlds.

when introducing himself to his floor/residents during the first meeting, he just makes up random lies about campus/university. (the bathroom in room 323? haunted. don’t eat the cafeteria pasta; you’ll have terrible shits. intro math is the EASIEST class ever! (he almost failed intro math in his first quarter.)) aka just causes problems on purpose just to see what happens.

stellar student and (generally) all around swell guy; is always the first one to speak up if you’re assigned in a group project and takes the lead. very charismatic (in a good way!)

has a well-organized planner/google calendar. if you make plans w/ him he says shit like “ok, so i’ll pen you in for 2pm on thursday?”

if you get into an argument w/ him he’ll probably point out that something you said is technically a logical fallacy and then goes off on a tangent about said fallacy.

when approached by petitioners on campus, lies to them that he’s not local to the area, or that he’s not registered to vote.

starts small talk w/ you not out of romantic or even platonic interest, but because he wants you to join his student club 

nanami

business/econ major. but he’s cool! responsible! and ~not like other business majors~ (aka he’s nice and not a drunken asshat)

doesn’t do much outside of school; holes himself in his room to study or occasionally goes to a library/cafe on campus for a change of pace.

turns in assignments days before the deadline. never does anything last minute if he can help it.

wears a leather messenger bag. has been mistaken for the professor on a couple of occasions. 

lives on caffeine; his 32 oz hydroflask? yea that’s filled to the brim w/ coffee.

part of model UN

has a lot of spare time since he doesn’t work or do many extracurricular activities; main hobby is reading, and occasionally baking.

if he has a class in a large lecture hall he puts his bag on the seat next to him and says he’s saving it for someone if anybody asks. he is indeed, not saving that spot for anyone and just doesn’t want people sitting next to him.

haibara

pre-med or veterinary science major.

plays ultimate frisbee on the school lawn.

if you sit next to him on the first day of class, he’ll make small talk + ask you for your number so that you two can study together for the rest of the quarter. (in a platonic way, not necessarily romantic!)

type of person that likes to draw on the whiteboard outside of their dorm door as the seasons change; things like “good luck on finals!”, “happy holidays!” w/ smiley faces and cute doodles

is part of a cooking club on campus; likes to bring whatever he makes to nanami. (also bc he’s worried nanami isn’t taking care of himself; who the hell drinks 32oz.+ of coffee everyday?)

keeps a hamster in his dorm even thought he’s not supposed to; has to hide the hamster cage/supplies ahead of time for room inspections.

has accidentally fucked up a lab once and had to use the emergency lab shower.

naoya

compsci techbro. like the worst kind of techbro you’ll ever find. elon musk worshipper and crypto enthusiast. 

has a stacked resume w/ internships and whatnot bc his family has connections. legacy kid.

pays people to do his homework.

subscribes to rise and grind mentality, believes in alpha male ideology

is always dripped out in luxury/designer brand outfits.

if you ever ask him for help w/ something he’d either say “figure it out yourself” or repeat the spec word for word to you as if he actually did something.

thinks weed ~elevates his state of mind.~ it doesn’t.

#jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #sen hc #sen writes #gojo + geto are always fun to make headcanons for bc they'd be the type to do some dumb/chaotic shit #idk i thought this would help me get in the right mind to write my geto fic #regardless this was fun to think about

[bookwyrminspiration]

Half of the things that regarding Tam in Kotlc frustrate me honestly. It feels like he’s pushed aside in the series so frequently, and I feel like this really peaked when he was in the Neverseen in Legacy. First off, it kinda rubbed me the wrong way the way that half of the characters were acting like Tam betrayed them? And maybe I just horribly misread the scene in which he was taken to the Neverseen, but I would not say that was a consensual decision, like at all. Gisela basically just said “Hey come with me or I’m making an entire species extinct and killing your sister.” like that’s manipulation that’s not what an honest decision looks like. I just felt so bad for him because he was borderline kidnapped by this awful group and it felt like no one was taking it seriously. Sophie reached out to him once on her own, and then once again when Linh pushes her to. That’s about all she did to try to help Tam for pretty much the entire book, unless I’m forgetting something. It just frustrates me, especially considering how much she did to try to figure out who her parents were during that book. This isn’t a thing against Sophie, it’s just that the things she did during that book kinda make it seem like Sophie being able to get a matchmakers list is more important than Tam being kidnapped. I don’t know, I just feel bad for Tam it always feels like he’s getting the short end of the stick when he seems like he’s one of the characters who would need support the most? I mean, he’s got so much to deal with and half of his scenes just feel like “here’s a scarring situation for you Tam! Now go back home to Linh or something.” Also, the way they described Tam being chained and mind-controlled actually made me sick that’s really horrific. (Also I don’t know where to put this, but characters keep acting like Tam’s super-ultra edgy and I don’t really see it? This is probably just me, but he’s always seemed more like a really stressed out person to me, not necessarily edgy. This might just be because he’s in a stressful situation in like 80% of the scenes he’s in.) I’ll be honest, Tam just kind of feels like a punching-bag character half the time.

tam is one of my favorite characters so i'm looking forward to this one, nonsie

I do feel that Tam's situation was treated very similarly to Keefe's, though there was actually a lot differentiating the two, which makes it feel weird. To summarize, Keefe ran away to the Neverseen, actively making that choice, and Sophie decided to trust him with that decision. She thought it was dumb and that they'd have to rescue him, but it had been his choice. And she coordinated with him, reaching out nightly to see what was going on and to get a sense of how he was doing. She was actively doing what she could to monitor him and balance her other responsibilities

some of this mindset carried over into Tam, while I think he should've been approached differently. because this wasn't his choice. it wasn't coordinated, and he didn't want to be there. he wanted out, and he wanted to be out safely. My mind is linking it to that one conversation with Sophie you mentioned, the one with Linh. Specifically because he told Sophie not to reach out to him, and said "I. LIKE. IT. HERE[...]I'M EVEN MAKING FRIENDS," (Legacy 407). I think this kinda led us to the "Tam wants to be there the way Keefe did" connection that really isn't accurate. he was threatened into joining, and nothing he says after the fact will erase that.

additionally, while Tam was with the Neverseen, Gethen was back and could search his mind, which was why Sophie didn't reach out to him more than twice. it was a risk that could put Tam in direct danger, and he wouldn't know when it was coming and couldn't agree to that risk. so if the two paths of action we're applying to Keefe and tam are to try and physically remove them from the situation or keep tabs on them, since contacting him is off the table, you'd think they'd focus more heavily on trying to get him back. but they...didn't.

I agree with your assessment of her priorities as well. i don't fault her for trying to figure out who her bio parents are or for wanting to explore matchmaking, i'm judging her for her timing. because she's consistently been very motivated by her friends and keeping them safe, it feels a little off that she prioritized matchmaking over Tam's physical safety. i know the love triangle and romantic drama has a lot of draw for some of the younger fandom base, but I feel as though it was prioritized too much and actually betrayed some of Sophie's key values for publicity.

and going back to the "he always draws the short end of the stick," thing, I think you're exactly right. i honestly can't think of any scenes off the top of my head with Tam where he's allowed to just be a teenager and take a break. There's always drama with him, which I think in part comes from the "sarcastic dark aesthetic friend" he's kinda gotten boxed into. he's there to be dry and pessimistic and further the conversation. note: he doesn't actually seem like a dry/dark outlook person as much as a lot of us (myself included sometimes) make him out to be. yes, he uses a lot of sarcasm, but that's not synonymous with dark and edgy.

to me he sounds like..,bitter? and resigned? and just generally annoyed to be there but doesn't want to show it. i don't think that makes sense so let me expand on it. he feels like when one friend of yours has invited you into a group of theirs friends (none of whom you know) and you're just kinda existing in the same space but are slightly uncomfortable and don't know what to do with yourself, but you don't want to let it show and risk offending anyone. you talk and fake your way through it but it feels off and you just don't like it and don't want to be uncomfortable anymore. I wouldn't be surprised if he actually has a lot of anxiety that everyone around him just doesn't pick up on

his life changed drastically very quickly and he doesn't have a lot of friends. sure, there's the group, but they're not friends in that way. tell me, can you think of one person Tam would tell his worries or fears to? I can't. the most obvious might be linh, but I don't believe he'd tell her, because he'd want to protect her instead of burdening her with his worries. I think he's tied to her a lot and seen as a package deal in a lot of canon--and frequently in fanon--so it can be hard to separate them at times,

I might be jumping around a little, but back to the chains. those are incredibly fucked up, and I don't think they're given the appropriate emotional response they deserved. this is a teenager who has been physically chained for all hours of the day, for weeks. and he's just living with it, knowing he can't take them off. and when Sophie learns and tells Mr. Forkle, his response is that he's never heard of something like that before and would need to research it. Like?? excuse me?? one of the minors you let swear fealty to your organization is literally chained and you're 1. not trying to get him back 2. just saying you need to research it.

that's another thing! everything I remember (and I might be forgetting something) is the teenagers talking about Tam being missing and how they need a plan and want him back. But there are several adults in his life now who could step forward to take that responsibility. Tiergan. Mr. Forkle, Squall, the bodyguards, any dwarves working with the Black Swan, etc. You know, these adults with loads more resources and people at their disposal. they could do something, organize something, make an effort. A child was kidnapped and it feels like they went "wow that sucks. hope we get him back. anyways--" idk. that's just something that's bothered me.

he just keeps getting hurt again and again. it's like that's all we focus on with his character, him being sarcastic and dark in stressful situations and not him just existing. we see him fighting with his parents, fighting with the neverseen, being teased and singled out when he's around Keefe, like can he catch a break? can we just let him smile for once?

I, for one, think he deserves to be more than just a punching bag, nonsie

#if I am allowed to talk any longer than I will just keep going #I have so many feelings about tam #I love him so much #but i don't think I see enough of him #enough sides to him #we have protective brother #and grumpy pessimistic guy just hanging around #and that guy who got kidnapped #what are his hobbies? what does he like to do? what's his favorite food? #what does he want to do when the neverseen are gone? #just little things that give characters more depth #I want to know the details #which I'm sure surprises no one #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc character analysis #tam song #long post #tw caps #quil's queries #nonsie

[obliviatestudies]

3rd YEAR of UNI

hey everyone! if you’re just stumbling upon this post and are new here, i’m going into my 3rd year of undergrad in bio for health sci a.k.a pre-med sorta deal! i did this post last year and u guys loved it, i also think its a great ways for us #studyblrs to share more . this is just an update into what courses i’ll be taking this year, life updates, tips i learnt from last year + more!

PICKING COURSES

my courses:

I'm a health sci bio major with a double minor in chem + business! so here is what my full-time year of studies looks like (5 courses per semester)

physiology of neurons & muscles

human development

structural biochem

metabolism & bioenergetics

neurosci

statistics

lab in cell & molecular bio

molecular bio

fundamentals of marketing

managing projects & business plans

for freshman, your courses are pretty set and you likely won't have much choice around what you actually want to take, so unless you're an upper-year, you likely won't see more interesting course titles like what i have above. not much for an update in this section, i planned most of my courses last year, but the most frustrating thing that happened was 9/10 courses i wanted to take were in my fall semester originally, so i have to do A LOT of rearranging, anywho.....

scheduling:

i'll link last years post here as i went into pretty deep detail of how i schedule my courses and how you can too!

other tips + updates:

it’s always okay to change your programs!! (ie. major, minor, specialist) don’t let the standard of “a 4-year degree” fool you into thinking you can’t take longer. its always a good idea to look ahead and try to plan, but this age of our lives is when we're changing the most and really finding who we are and what we want to do with the rest of our lives. it's definitely not something to rush.

if you have to do summer courses, or retake courses, or take an extra semester, don't beat yourself up. it happens to 99% of people!

take me for example!! i went into school thinking 100% i wanted to go down the med path, now here i am starting my 3rd year and I'm not so sure. I'm more so looking at doing my masters in physical therapy. you change, life changes, and you find what works BEST for you and the path you want for your life.

ALSO your path doesn't have to be linear, or the typical; if you want to go to med/law/other post grad school, but your grades or extra curricular didn't necessarily cut it, that's okay! maybe you'll work somewhere for a year or two and go back to school and get in. basically what I'm trying to say is if there is a career path that you love, don't give up, and don't think you have to get there the same way as someone else did.

currently, my fall courses are all completely online (minus 1 in-person tutorial) i hope most of you will be in-person, unlike me. but i'll continue to post both online and in-person study tips as the year progresses.!

LIFE BESIDES SCHOOL

this summer i was lucky enough to work as an online PT, and this will probably continue part time into the school year. besides my other social accounts kinda blowing up, working on Syrse Dawn, I've been crazy busy with everything. I'm a little worried about balancing everything come the school szn, but as usual, i always prioritize my school work

we love academic validation haha....no but seriously, i love learning and school, and doing well has always been important to me, so while my work is important, mental health and school come first.

right now some passion projects and summer bucket list things I've been working on are finishing a current novel I'm writing (haven't finished writing one since 2015), reading 1 more book, filling a sketchbook, going for a sunrise swim and honestly just spending as much time with my friends as fam as possible!

• • • • • •

like last year, i’d love to create a chain of studyblrs doing an update like this, sharing their courses for the year, how they organize them, updates + more! so if you get tagged, add to this chain + tag 5 more studyblr accounts!!

i’m tagging: @studyblr @felix-studies @studyingatsunrise @luminous-studiess @starrystvdy @studylustre

if you have any questions for me, my ask box is always open! i answer all the questions in my ask, so don’t be afraid to hit me up there

hope this helps you a little bit and you get to learn a bit about me xx

#college studyblr #studyblr community #studyblr #study #3rd year #uni talks #uni studyblr #uni help #uni tips #first day of uni #byobliviatestudies #about the blogger #school talk #online school #school help #school things #how to study #an update #schedule #planning #study motivation #motivation #productivity challenge #productivity #study tips #studying

[puppyluvstummies]

hey hunnies, thanks for checking out my blog! you can call me peanut, please read this before following or messaging me!

🍄 you must be 18+ to interact with me! if you’re under 18, you’re getting BLOCKED. if you don’t have your age in your bio, you’re getting BLOCKED. i do not want to interact with anyone who might be a minor, please respect that.

🍄 yes, this is a kink blog for feedism. if that grosses you out, kindly just leave, block me if you want.

🍄 if i reblog something from you and you want it removed for whatever reason, please let me know and i’ll take it down asap

🍄 i’ll generally only post/reblog sfw kink content. if something involves s*x/n*dity, it’ll be tagged #nsfw

🍄 i am a fat admirer/feeder, i am not a feedee.

🍄 i am a bisexual enby. my pronouns are they/them only, even if i refer to myself as a girl from time to time (for convenience, gender is confusing). if i think you’re a sexist, homophobe, or transphobe, kindly choke 💕

🍄 i am black!! if i think you are a racist, meaning you support/excuse racism, do not support BLM or ACAB, don’t care about racial injustice, or fetishize black people (with terms like ebony, cocoa, chocolate, etc) kindly choke 💕

🍄 this is a soft(er) feedism blog. just because it is a kink doesn’t mean it can’t still be consensual, respectful and body positive. death feedism, glorification of eating disorders, fatphobia, fetishizing obesity-related illnesses (diabetes, heart attacks, etc), degradation of any kind, and non-consensual fat shaming (including pig/cow play) are not allowed here. i don’t have beef with death feedism, just not into it myself.

🍄 i’m not into immobility or serious mobility issues. i am not into vore. i am not into scat. i am not into harsh/intense bd//sm. i am not into dd//lg or adjacent kinks. all of these, though i have no problem with them, turn me off. just because it’s your kink doesn’t mean it’s mine. post what you want, but please keep it on your blog

🍄 this blog may have some pet play as well. while i am not necessarily a furry, furries are absolutely welcome on this blog! i am not into age play or age regressing but it doesn’t bother me and is also welcome. z**philia, b**stiality and p*dophilia are absolutely not welcome and you will be blocked. all pet play fantasies are between consenting adult humans only.

🍄 fetishizing candid photos of fat people just existing without their consent is gross

🍄 editing photos of people without their consent is gross

🍄 stealing content from models/content creators is gross (i try to check before posting but if i accidentally/unknowingly rb stolen content, pls lmk!!)

🍄 drawing kink art of real people without consent or minors, fictional or not, is gross

🍄 i personally do not like feedist discussions with people i don’t know. i’m not interested in being anyone’s feeder unless we have an actual relationship (platonic or romantic). if you want to chat with me, please do not assume i want to see your belly/genitals. we can talk, but that’s it unless we come to know each other a bit more. i may be open to rp with or without ocs

🍄 i’m often busy with school or work; pls don’t expect me to respond right away. if i don’t respond ever, do yourself a favor and take the hint ♥️

🍄 if you are a cishet man, do not message me. follow, reblog, even comment, but do not dm me, i will not respond. yes, i’m still bisexual. no, i don’t wanna tease you or sext you or date you or meet you. i’ve had too many bad experiences with y’all and i’m over it. ♥️

tl;dr i just want this blog to be a respectful, safe space to express this kink. always keep in mind that there are human beings on the other end of what you post and we all just want to have a good time horny-posting. thanks for reading, loves!!

#non kink #about me

[tickle-bugs]

I had two people ask for some advice on starting up/running a blog, so I thought I’d make a little post for anyone else looking for advice! There’s no one right way to run a blog and I am by no means an expert. This is just a compilation of some of the things I’ve learned :) 

Feel free to add advice to this!

- The first thing is something I cannot stress enough. Write for yourself first. You will be absolutely miserable if you’re only writing for attention. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s so incredibly important. If you don’t like a prompt, fandom, or scenario? You don’t have to write for it! A personal example: I’m a theatre kid and total musical nerd. I could probably write some compelling Dear Evan Hansen or Hamilton headcanons if I wanted to, but I don’t. That’s fine! I’m allowed to say I won’t write for it and deny prompts/requests for those fandoms. 

- Set boundaries. This is a very mixed community with all sorts of creators and participants with hands in different baskets. Don’t want minors to interact? Put minors DNI in your bio. SFW only? Put it in the bio. No RP? Bio. This goes for private conversations/askbox/other interactions as well. If someone comes into your askbox/dms and says something that makes you uncomfy, shut it down. 

- My advice is more geared towards writing than art or video, but I suppose you could apply this advice as well. Make what makes you happy! If you’re only in one fandom, feel free to stay there and make content for it. Multi-fandom? Excellent! Completely non-fandom? Epic! Make the content that you want to see and the content that makes you happy to create, especially if you’re in a more niche fandom/area. 

- Organization. ...I’ll admit this one is more of a personal pet peeve than something urgent, but it is something that people positively respond to. If you have some sort of consistency/organization to your blog, it’ll make it easier and more enjoyable for people to navigate. Make a fandom list/indicate your fandoms somehow (mostly for prompt purposes. people can’t read your mind, so it’s important to tell them what you will write for and what you won’t, however you want to do that)! 

Make a masterpost/link your fic tag! Use a fic tag of some kind. Give your fics summaries and leave a little bit of the fic above the ‘read more’ to intrigue folks (look at #my fics and my masterpost for basic examples of how I do this, if you need!). Use read mores. Please use read mores (if you can, idk if they’re on mobile. regardless no one wants to encounter a three thousand word block of text on their dash). (No seriously though, organize your blog, even if it’s super simple. literally just a ‘mine’ or ‘my fics’ or ‘[pseud] writes’ and a fandom tag. It’ll make it easier for people to find your stuff and support you)

- Practice general internetiquette. Please remember that the people in this community are real people with feelings, boundaries, and lives outside of the blog that they run. Be genuine and people will respond to you! Don’t manipulate people into likes/reblogs/attention. No one wants to be on the other end of that. Being in this community isn’t a transaction or a mosh pit, it’s an experience.  

- Be ever-so-liberal with the block button. Someone’s user makes you uncomfortable? They give you bad vibes? They’re a minor/older than you and you don’t want them interacting with your content? You don’t wanna see their blog for some reason? Block em. This goes for anons too. That’s what the button is for. Don’t feel guilty for using it. Use it. 

- How you write is 100% a personal choice and not really something that I can give advice on, but embrace your style! take prompts if you want, or don’t. Write oneshots, series, drabbles, or novels. Write romantic, or don’t. Etc. Change things up if you feel like it. Do what you want. Your blog, your style, your rules. 

- Numbers matter. Don’t let them define you. This is a bit of a harder one to explain, but I will try. I often say that I don’t care about numbers, and I really don’t, but that’s not to say that I don’t see them and they have zero effect on me. I absolutely notice and am bummed if a fic doesn’t get notes, or at least the notes that I was expecting. That is entirely normal and okay to experience. What isn’t okay, though, is creating for the sake of getting notes/numbers/attention (re: write for yourself first, internetiquette). If you find yourself relying on tumblr for gratification and a reward, I implore you to take a break. I’m not your therapist or your parent, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but when you make things only for the sake of notes, people notice. Celebrate your milestones. Know that it’s okay to be bummed about low notes/celebrate getting plenty. Just make sure that you don’t depend on the numbers for your happiness, or you will be miserable.

- You’re (probably) doing this for free. You are providing people content: a service. Produce as much or as little as you’re comfy with, but always remember that. No one is entitled to what you make. If someone asks you for headcanons, sends a prompt when prompts are closed, etc, and you don’t feel like fulfilling it? You have no obligation to do that. Getting commissioned is another story entirely, but as long as you’re making free content, you have zero obligation to do anything for anyone and certainly no time constraints. It can take me months to finish prompts, and that’s okay. I do them when I do them and I fill them how I want to. If my prompts are closed, I deny new ones until I’m ready to accept them. Make yourself happy first.

- How you interact with others is up to you! It’s generally considered good practice to like/reblog your mutuals fics/art, but this is not necessarily a hard and fast rule. I veeeeeery rarely reblog fics for fandoms that I’m not in, even from my mutuals. What you can do to show your support (and you should try and show support somehow. No one is in competition. Everyone’s in your boat, whether they have no followers or 1k) is send an ask/reply to the post/leave tags to let the author know you liked it. Like the fic and don’t reblog it, if you don’t want to. Just make sure you show your mutuals (and others in general!) roughly the same support they show you, however you decide to do that. Treat others how you want to be treated, as cheesy as it sounds :)

- Don’t repost content that isn’t yours without express permission from the original creator, and credit them appropriately. If you see a cute piece of tickle art and the artist doesn’t want it reposted? Don’t repost it. Don’t post fics/videos/gifs that aren’t yours (obviously if it’s like a scene from a movie/a clip on youtube that’s different, but don’t take credit for things you didn’t make, including ideas). Can’t tell you how frustrating it is to have work stolen from you. Don’t be that person. ‘Credit to original artist’ and ‘credit unknown’ is total bullshit btw. Link/tag the creator in the original post and make it clear you don’t own the content. Best practice is to ask the original creator if they’re okay with reposting, work inspired by or connected to theirs, etc. This goes doubly for saving/downloading someone’s fics. 

- It is not illegal for a minor to have normal, nonsexual, healthy friendships with people older than them. There’s a weird attitude that minors have nothing of value to offer adults besides a relationship/sex, which is...not true? Minors are thinking, living human beings with feelings, thoughts, and opinions. You can talk to them like normal people, because they are. Just obviously don’t talk about/introduce sex or endanger them. Minors don’t bring up sex/activities you’re underage for with an adult. IDK this isn’t a seminar just...don’t be weird. Adults can offer great life experience, support systems, and the basic joys and needs of human connection. Minors can too. Mind your business unless someone’s actually in danger. The next point is a caveat, though: 

- If you’re a minor, don’t interact with NSFW blogs/blogs with ‘Minors DNI’, NSFW blogs don’t interact with minors, etc etc. Not your parent or whatever but this is pretty common sense and it’s for everyone’s safety, but especially the NSFW person. internettiquette!

- If you use your TK blog as a side blog (meaning you have another blog as your main blog, not two separate accounts) and don’t want your main exposed, that is up to you. I recommend not liking posts. Also, follow people that you trust. These actions route through your main blog and your main will show up in the notes. You can reblog from a sideblog. If you want to send an ask “as your tk blog”, send an anon and sign it somehow, like ‘hey :) // @/tickle-bugs’. It should tag you in the post so you get a notification when it’s answered!

- Find your people! As an anxious person this one has been hard for me, so I know it’s hard for a lot of people. Fandom is literally a community of shared interest. Peachy and I have an iron bond almost two years later and we met talking over shared interests. You can absolutely find your people here. If someone makes you happy, strike up a conversation! Send an ask! You never know what doors it might open or whose day you might improve :)

- If you were an anon/lurker on someone’s blog and they inspired you to write/submit/start your own, sign your messages!! the common form that I see is either an emoji or [noun/context of the ask]!anon (prodigal!anon (i miss u every day), butterfly!anon, etc.) Let us know how to find and support you!! Those messages produce good brain juice. 

- The big finale: Have fun. If you’re not having fun here, maybe you could tweak something to make things enjoyable. Running a blog is like driving a car. Keep your hands on the wheel, respectfully indicate your intentions (flashing lights optional), and be safe. Poebody’s nerfect, y’know. If you make a mistake, course correct. I’m by no means perfect. Your favs aren’t either. Just do your best and have a good time :)

@rosytickles and the anon in my inbox, I hope this helps! Thank you for asking me, I’m very honored that you value my opinon/experience/advice. I apologize if I come off as preachy or aggressive, I envisioned grabbing my younger self by the lapels and shaking me vigorously while I wrote this. Probably a bad idea. 

Anywho, hope it helps. Anyone with questions, additions, or comments, my askbox is open! Just be constructive, is all I ask. 

#bug speaks #advice tag #sorry again if this sounds preachy or aggressive at any point i literally wrote it like i was grabbing younger me by the lapels #these are all things i learned through experience/observation i promise im not talking out of my ass here #the largest obstacle to maintaining a blog is how you view your happiness in relation to it. talked about it above but yeah. #also like i said: not a professional and not your parent. just giving friendly advice sine i was directly asked for it. #might add more to this if I think of more #my askbox and dms are open for questions/comments/additions just pls be respectful and constructive #other tfb community members feel free to add to this!

[warmau]

{Special} College!AU Hendery

major: general biology 

minor: infectious diseases

clubs: part of chinese culture club with sicheng + tutors sometimes but he gets off-track easily, wont admit it out loud but attends the magic the gathering gettogethers often as well, extraterrestrial enthusiasts club

sports: he originally joined xiaojun for one of his ballet classes as a joke, but ended up really liking it and now he shows up regularly and the professor thinks hendery’s upbeat, chattery attitude is so “charming” and xiaojun just,,,,,,rolls his eyes like ma’am you don’t even know,,,,,,,,

hendery is a force to be reckoned with - not necessarily in a bad way, but if you aren't a high-strung energetic type then 

it can be hard to keep up

but the truth is, hendery is just like that because he’s a natural born people-pleaser 

making others happy by making himself the goofiest he can be actually brings him a lot of joy

and he finds no shame in carrying the ‘class clown’ title from high school into his college years

he takes everything with ease, kun and xiaojun frequently ask if he’s being an idiot on purpose, and hendery just thinks its hilarious 

yangyang and yukhei usually just egg on his jokes and stunts 

yukhei likes to partake in them too 

but yangyang is a little too smart 

and wont take on any bet thrown at him the way these two will

and believe me, hendery’s got a record for it 

in his freshman year, he applied to a bunch of frats - only to see if he could past initiations 

getting pied in the face, lugging mattresses across the quad, standing up in the middle of class to profess his love to the professor 

all of those tests were easy-peasy ,,,,,, and even though he’d passed them all ,,,,,,, in the end he didn't even join any of the frats

just thanked them for the “fun times” while the other recruits eyed him like he was insane

basically, he will do anything asked of him - especially if itll make for what he refers to as “good comedy”

if it really is “good comedy” you have to ask the spectators - and the people who end up being pulled into it - which more than often are either his friends or his classmates

so why general bio? and even weirder - why infectious diseases?

well as silly as hendery is, the silliness doesn't translate well into art or literature 

like he tried his hand at poetry and pottery and other humanities 

and lets just say ,,,,,,,,,,, it didn't work out

(he’s banned from the literature department)

science on the other hand,,,,,,,,

leaves much more space for silliness than hendery could have ever imagined

although its a lot of math and rigorous testing - hendery enjoys the adventurous part of science

he likes opening textbooks with colorful, kind of icky, diagrams

have you ever seen the inside of a cell? hendery thinks it looks like a clown maze at the amusement park - he loves it!!!

biology is one of the most hands-on sciences 

and when people in his intro course were gagging at the idea of disecting a frog

hendery was just like “leave it to me - even though i was only half listening to the professors instructions!”

and diseases are even more interesting to him

because their genetic makeup is so funny, and their scientific names are even funnier!!!!!!!

“hey xiaojun, you know what i learned about today? leptospirosis. LEPTOSPIROSIS - doesn't it sound kinda like leprechaun!?!?!? i almost died laughing in lab!!!!!” 

xiaojun: how is that even funny

kun: just let the child amuse himself

sometimes people mistake his enthusiasm about his major as meaning he isn't actually interested in it as a career

just taking part in it like some inside joke

but that's far from the truth

hendery is actually a pretty proficient scientist when the topic intrigues him

and although hes loud and a little disruptive in actual lab

there are rare occurrences when you can find him quietly working on his results and papers

there’s nothing funny about making a mistake in science, hendery knows and understands that 

and even though he doesn't tell many people it - he does have some interest in taking steps toward entering the medical field

but hes kept it a secret - because no one would take him seriously anyway so there isn't any point in talking about it

when hes not in class, making the professor groan and the students snicker behind their laptops

he’s usually at someone elses dorm rather than his own

he’s almost always given an invite to a party, people are always calling him over to join them for late night drinking or karaoke 

because if hendery is there - it is guaranteed to be a good time

on multiple occasions, ten and kun have had to come to his aid

there was one time where hendery kind of totally overdid it and ten even had to facetime hendery’s mom 

she had given him an earful over the phone, thanking ten when she was finally done

and just as hendery thought he could scurry off, ten had told him he had his own lecture in store

hendery’s busy social life isnt a problem for xiaojun though, who he shares his dorm with

hendery’s gone most of the time so xiaojun dumps all his stuff in the closet and is happy to use the extra space for ballet practice

,,,,,,,,,,until hendery stumbles in at 4pm on a sunday and is like “hey!” before passing out directly on the floor

look me in the eyes and try and tell me hendery doesn't have corny meme stickers on his laptop. you cant. 

although hes wild, and a hand full, his friends do really care about him

and when they’re all together 

kun and ten admit that hendery is extremely good at cheering them up

xiaojun and yangyang do have to agree that life would be boring without him

and sicheng and yukhei, who never interfere with his lifestyle choices, reveal that hendery is a good friend

when anyone needs something

hendery will jump through hoops to get it

and he’s usually up for taking the blame if something goes wrong

that’s exactly how you end up meeting hendery

back in highschool you two hadn’t ever interacted, mostly due to the fact that you had transferred in during senior year

and you were a bit on the reserved side

with an interest in quiet library's and flying under the radar till graduation

while hendery was much more of a social butterfly 

with people begging for him to follow back on instagram or make it to their weekend parties

you had both existed in virtually different worlds - until you found yourself in a really, really, really bad situation

it had been the literal last day of highschool 

you were one hundred and one percent sure you had absolutely everything out of your locker, most importantly - your college acceptance letter

which was one of your proudest achievements, but also the only document with your student id notification which you’d need for registrations and the acceptance orientation

giddy as you walked out toward the bus, you rummaged around in your bag one last time

just so you could pull it out and read it all over again when -

you must have looked absolutely insane on the curbside, dumping everything out of your bag and digging around like a rabid animal

but it was gone - your folder with your letter, and not to mention your graduation certificate, GONE

you scoop everything back up and run back toward the school - you’re happy that you see a figure coming out of the front door

because that means you can still get inside

the boy brushes past you and the door shuts behind him - you pull at the bar and then he turns around, taking his headphones off

“oh, the schools closed. the janitor let me out but-”

your eyes are so wide and full of terror when you turn that hendery can’t even finish his sentence

you look like you’ve seen a ghost and he asks you whats wrong

“m-m-my- a-a-accept-acc- my-m-”

hendery doesn’t understand any of your muttering - so he does what he always does when his friends go into a stupor

he grabs you by the shoulders and gives you a good shake

you’re about to yell at him, but it actually lets you collect yourself for a moment

you turn and start feverishly banging on the door 

“what are you doing?!”

“you said something about a janitor - if he hears us he’ll let me back inside and i can get my letter!”

hendery sort of stares at you, for the first time he’s in the position where he looks at someone and thinks - seriously? are you insane, all this over some letter?

when usually he’s on the receiving end of such judgement

but either way, he tells you to stop - the janitor isn’t going to hear some loud bangs and come running

you guys are going to have to do something bigger to his attention

before you know it, hendery’s dropped his bag and circles around the school

you follow him, not sure of what else to do - but when he’d said you had to do something bigger, it sounded like he had a plan

and hendery does have a plan - he stops outside the large glass window right under the gym

“ok, you - go back to the front entrance. when the janitor steps out, run in through the door and get your letter.”

“how are you going to get him to step out?!”

hendery looks around, pushing aside some of the shrubs and picking up a rock

you look at it, then him, and then the window

“you're not going to-”

he feigns offense, “destroy school property? of course not! now go - run to the front.”

you only half believe him, but you need that letter more than anything, so you circle back to where you started

it all happens in a blurry flash - you hear something shatter, you hear the door push open a minute or two later, you dash passed and down the empty halls

you’re so focused on getting your letter and getting the hell out of there that you don’t notice the voices outside or the big crack in the window as you’re running back 

with your letter in hand, you sort of disappear before you can get caught up in whatever hendery’s plan was

and hope that he at least got away too

the next time you see him is at freshman orientation

you’re surprised that this school was his choice and under any other circumstance you’d brush it away

but you’re itching to know

so when you approach him and ask, how did he help you out on that faithful day (does he even remember it?)

hendery grins, wide and bright

“of course ii remember it! the janitor caught me and ii had to do community service or pay a fine. spent half my time cleaning up garbage in a park because of you!”

the words aren't malicious - actually he doesnt even look mad when you apologize for such a big inconvenience

instead he just tells you it was worth it - it took him sometime, but he figured that the letter you’d been going on about like crazy had to be something ultra important

you hadn’t even known this dude - and yet, he was talking to you like he had just done a favor for an old friend

since then, you’d grown closer to him 

and now you both where in your junior years - you’d become a part of his friend group and he had become someone so much more than just a stranger 

looking back at it - you’d never thought you and him would get along on such a deep level

but you did, and you suspected it had most to do with the fact that no matter how goofy or dumb his antics were

hendery had never and would never intend to hurt anyone 

in fact, he’d put himself in harms way first

and his loyalty was something lost on most people your age - you admired it 

sometimes, you were even jealous of the pure-natured almost naïve way he went about life

so now you’re sitting in his dorm, xiaojun is at his desk watching ballet recitles and you’re shifting through hendery’s messy pile of books and papers

“isn’t your lab due tomorrow - how did you manage to lose it?”

he rummages through his backpack and whines

“i didn't loooose it- i bet kun stole it!”

“kun isn’t taking a bio class, you just probably tossed it out like always.”

“hey!”

you turn to see hendery’s signature pout, deep dark eyes big and hurt

“you’re making me sound so dumb!”

“hendery,,,,,,,sometimes - you are.”

he sticks his tongue out and you continue to look through the pile, your hands stop when they reach the thin, silver book that is your highschool yearbook

your copy is at home, you wonder for a second why hendery’s is here

“did you find it?!”

hendery bounds over and you cover it up quickly - giving him a playful shove away

“no, now keep looking - or else you’re going to have to re-do all fifteen pages tonight!”

he whines, but returns to his corner of the room. your fingers tap the stack of paper and you feel a weird wave of nostalgia hit you

it’s broken up as the door swings open to the dorm and sicheng walks calmly through it

he passes you a handful of crumpled papers

“found hendery’s lab report in our trashcan.”

you turn to glare at hendery who puts his hands up and grins

“oops?”

after you leave hendery to retype his lab, you find yourself thinking about that yearbook again

you’ve been hendery’s friend for almost three years now - but in highschool you guys hadn’t even spoken

you’ve never thought about it before, but it’s almost shameful that you lost all those years 

because hendery is a good friend, a lifelong friend

you and him could have had so many more memories together if instead of meeting on the last day in an almost comical twist of events

he could have been in your literature class, or you could have been his tutor and then you two could have just bonded like you did in college and become friends, even maybe-

lovers

you stop walking as the word flashes through your mind

“no, that’s just,,,,,,,silly.”

you toss the momentary curiosity to the side - if anything, ever since you started college you’d only had one crush on somebody

a crush so secret, you hadn’t even dared to write it down in your journal - let alone tell anyone

and you planned on keeping it that way

afterall, you had a degree to get and you were so - so close.

a couple of weeks later you find yourself handing in the last paper before a small spring break, you plan on going home when you get a call

hendery’s voice full of excitement

“whens your train home?” 

he asks, not bothering with a greeting - he’s probably the only person you know who likes to jump right into any conversation

“tomorrow, around three.”

“cool - so that means you can party tonight!”

you roll your eyes - that's another thing you’ve gotten into since being hendery’s friends, parties

although they still aren’t your favorite pastime - you have to admit, they can be entertaining

and you and ten have sort of agreed that as the responsible ones, being at the party would at least mean hendery (and on most occasions yukhei) would have a safe way to get home

“maybe, depends on the party.”

hendery’s laugh is a sound so familiar - and so nice you sometimes think you can hear it forever and not grow sick and tired of it at all

“actually this time it’s at johnny’s place in the city! he finally got out of the dorms since he’s in graduate school now - but ten convinced him somehow.”

you know johnny suh, who doesn’t, a graduate student in film studies and super close friend of ten’s 

back when you and hendery were still freshmen, johnny was the one known on campus for being a little too wild

but now, hendery seems to have stolen the title

“well if it’s at his place I guess it’ll be pretty small, im just happy we aren’t going back to that frat.”

hendery makes a disgusted sound

“nah! that place was boring and remember how i almost punched that guy out for-”

“yes, i remember. what time should i be heading over?”

“ill pick you up at ten!”

you hang up and smile, something in your chest warms a little - a feeling you haven’t felt before 

sometimes he can be so crazy, and then sometimes he really is a gentleman 

the thought doesnt occur to you as being unique in anyway, and you try hard not to fester on that weird feeling in your chest

hendery is late - because of course he is - but you’re used to it and give him just a little bit of a scold as you two walk toward the metero

other than that the conversation is the same, plans, friends, potential people you’ll run into at the party, etc.

you and hendery stand close to each other on the subway, his hand comes up to hold your shoulder when the cart jerks or someone is pushing past you to get in

you poke the hole in his tshirt hem and mutter that he should at least ask xiaojun to sew it up

when you both get to the party, johnny is already half a wine bottle in by the flush on his face and the way ten is chasing after him 

sicheng and kun are there, mingling among themselves and waving you guys over

hendery says he’s going to join them and you’re about to step toward them to

when you feel someone tap your shoulder

you turn, and something in your body feels like it snaps

yukhei smiles at you and starts asking where hendery is - but you are looking over his shoulder at the person behind him

lee taeyong

the computer science major who had also studied alongside johnny at your college when you were a freshman

you had seen him when you had just started your first couple of weeks and that entire year had been like you were enchanted

he was an otherwise reserved, soft-spoken person

but his reputation was the unattainable heartbreaker - who would turn down confessions politely but with little to no regard

he was beautiful when you last saw him, and he was beautiful now - all this time later

whats he doing here? 

you’d been to johnny’s place before and had never seen him around, other graduate students sure but not taeyong

“ah! by the way - this is taeyong. he graduated but i met him because he’s here to-”

you bow a little and rush through the crowd toward the solitary confinement of the bathroom

to your luck, two voice shout from inside that its occupied so you escape to the stairs of the building - going up a couple of floors until the sound of the party is nothing but a drawl

you don’t know why, but seeing him hurts

it’s because he was the first person you ever really loved

you don’t get it too - your communications with him had been limited to a two time greeting in the computer lab late during finals week

you had seen him around, you’d once even followed him embarrassingly through the library

you knew nothing about him but his major and his beauty

so what made your heart fall so hard never really made sense

the way you’d felt was so confusing and therefore it made you so ashamed

you had thought about telling your friends to understand - why, but never did

and so you curl up a little and think that tonight its only a good idea for you to go

“ah! there you are - hey, are you crying?”

hendery’s voice breaks you out from your thoughts and you unravel a little to huff at him

“im not crying, im just -”

he sits down and puts a hand on your knee

“did some asshole try something, if you need me to get them let me know - you know how good ii am at rock throwing!”

the little inside joke makes you crack a smile and you shake your head

“its not that, i was just feeling a little cramped in there.”

he pulls to cans of beer from his jean pockets and sets them down

“that’s fine, we can party up here! just the two of us!”

you’d resist - but something about his cheer wins you over

you spend what feels like hours up there, hendery running back and forth between the flights to bring back more beer and snacks

you dont know how many cans are littered around you until your head falls against his shoulder

and if you were sober, you’d feel him tense up

“hey hendery - wanna hear a secret?”

you giggle and hendery turns a little, your eyes are glittering and your speech is just a little bit crocked

“sure, but ii think this should be your last can!”

he slips the beer from your hand - and you make a badly attempted reach for it that just lands your palm against his thigh

again, his body goes into alert, but you just keep going

“i have a crush on someone.”

you hiccup and hendery swallows - his heartbeat is a loud thudding in his ears

“o-oh yeah? on who?”

“wwwwwwwellllllll,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”

you sit up and hendery looks at you again - you brace his shoulders

“taeyong.”

you hiccup and grin

“lee taeyong.”

with that you let go of hendery’s shoulders which have dropped anyway

you tilt your head back and hendery lurches forward to grab you when you start tipping over

your eyes close and you feel your head hit something soft - probably the front of hendery’s shirt

you whisper the next sentence, but hendery never hears it

“used to - i used to have a crush on him but now i think i,,,,,”

the words don't come out but it doesnt matter, hendery touches your cheek with his palm and sighs

you’re out cold for now

and he says something you never hear too

“damn, and here i was. stupid enough to think you were going to say my name instead.”

 the incident doesnt come back to you - not even when you’ve had an advil and are drinking coffee in the morning as you pack for home

your group chat is talking about yukhei doing something weird and your other texts are normal

so you just assume ,,,,,,,, nothing happened

and that's what it feels like 

until you’re back to classes after spring break and 

“soooooooooooo, a little birdie told me a secret over the break!”

you turn your head and look up to see yukhei

he plops himself down in the chair across from you and nearly sends the whole table shaking

you grab your laptop and coffee before it knocks over

“you and your giant knees need to be more careful.”

he waves it off and leans forward

“so, lee taeyong.”

your fingers, which had been diligently typing up your homework stop short

yukhei claps his hands and points a finger gun at you

“so you do like him! well, good news for you i got his number at the party and you guys are both all about work and school and-”

you shut your laptop and the noise makes yukhei’s voice shake for a second

“who told you about taeyong.”

yukhei scratches his head and leans back

“well i probably shouldn’t tell you but hendery. he heard taeyong and i got introduced by johnny so he thought i could help you-”

hendery?

something twists

hendery, did i tell hendery? when?

you stare into your lap and gasp

the party, i got drunk and i told him at the party and he -

“w-who else knows?”

yukhei waves his hand, trying to calm you down

“just the usual, but we all support it - im pretty sure taeyong is single and -”

he told, everyone?

a multitude of thoughts runs through your mind, but the biggest question is why

even if you were a little out of it, you know you wouldn't have just told hendery to go about spreading your secret

you’re sure, even if its fuzzy, that if you confided in him - you would have made it somehow clear that no one else should know

and hendery was close enough to you, that if there was a chance you hadnt done that, he’d instinctively know

which only leaves one real explanation - hendery isnt your friend, he spilled your secret to humiliate you

all these years - all this time - was he just waiting for it? for the right moment to make you some kind of laughingstock?

you stand up and gather your things, you ignore yukhei’s confusion and when he tries to stop you - you just push past him

it must be for payback, he must have been actually so pissed about that stupid stunt he pulled for me in highschool. after all, he probably got a stain on his record because of it and so he plotted to make me look like a fool one day right - right!

your logical brain starts moving, making up more and more scenarios

he probably thought - oh why do I have to take the blame for some stupid stranger! but didn't know what else to do so he befriended me and made him trust me

your brain runs like a crazed engine, but something in your chest fights against it

suddenly you think about it again

trust, hendery is the one person i fully trust. there isn't any reason for him to hurt me

a glimmer of that hopefulness washes right away when you get a text from an unknown number

you stare at it and re-read it

the anger that had powered you before surges up through you again

‘hi, this is lee taeyong. your friend told me how you feel and while im grateful for the compliment - ii don't want to let you pine for no reason. im currently not looking for a relationship, but lets be friends if the chance arises.’

what kind of stupid text is that - i don't want to date you! im not some lovestruck idiot! why are you treating me like one? why did hendery make me out to be one? hendery - hendery - im never going to fucking forgive you

and you don't - you block the number, you delete the contact, you know his schedule and you make it a point to avoid him at all costs

even his friends, who you thought were your friends once, aren't immune from the cold shoulder

and so when kun ends up sitting beside you on the bus - you’re so damn headstrong about it all that you get off at the next stop

part of you knows this is childish, and you’re supposed to be the big adult - the responsible one

like you’ve always been

but 

but hendery isn't even making an effort to reach out

actually, you think you’d probably haven given in by know if he’d called you or tried to reach you

he knows your schedule too so you thought hed track you down and at least ask whats going on

but he hasnt

which all you take is the fact that your point has been proven

this insane theory about how he’d befriended you for almost three years was just to find someway to get back at you in the end

and he’d done it! and he was satisfied! 

and it hurt

that's what it was 

painful

after a while it was less and less about your stupid little crush on a senior, and more and more about the fact that you had lost you friend

a person who you thought would have your back forever

a person who the universe didn't intend for you to even be near, to ever be close to

the opposite end of the spectrum and yet he had defied that all

and had left an impact on you that you thought would be with you forever

the blind kindness, the forgiving heart, the prone to accidents and silliness and just horrible decision making in general all for the sake of someone elses happiness

all of that had made you cherish him

at this point - you found yourself sitting up in bed - staring at the screen of your phone that used to ping nonstop with his texts

and realize you missed your friend

and worse of all

you missed your friend who you were starting to fall in love with

lee taeyong had been this ideal for you, beautiful and studios, the perfect match

you had daydreamed about bringing him home to your family, how he’d probably be so sweet and gentle 

but he was this stand-in, he was a dream that you thought you had

when in reality

your dream didn't consist of the graceful, hardworking, flawless man

it was

as you closed your eyes and really thought about it

it was always hendery

clumsy, laidback, overflowing with flaws man that at the center of it all was crafted with a heart of gold

but was he? would someone like that really sell you out?

your answer comes just as the end of your junior is approaching, you’re so mentally exhausted from school and your own feelings

that you don't have the time to focus on anything anymore but getting to your dorm and getting to bed

you accidentally drop one of the textbooks in your hand and when you reach down to get it - another hand extends for it too

you look up and 

oh god no, not right now!

“ah -- hello.”

taeyong gives you polite smile and you barely have enough energy to reply with your own small nod

“how are you?”

please don't do this to me, i don't want to make conversation with you

“fine, and you?”

“good, work hard on your finals!”

you say you will and are happy that he ended it so quickly when,

“also, i am still sorry i couldn't accept your feelings.”

the heavy blanket of tiredness suddenly feels like its aflame on your back

really, did you really have to say that?

some kind of newfound energy spikes up in you and you turn to him

“I know you're my senior, but ii need to say something to you.”

he titls his head

“i don't like you, i had a brief crush on you in freshman year but ii got over it. and no im not saying that to save face, ive already felt enough embarrassment about all this. ontop of that I don't have time to crush on you - im in love with hendery and yeah, i can say that now because it doesnt even matter.”

“YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HENDERY?!?!?!?”

“YUKHEI?”

you pivot around so fast, this time all your books go flying

you hadn’t even noticed him in the haze of weakness and yet - there he is, right behind taeyong

like an unbound puppy he rushes up to you and grabs your hands

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE INTO TAEYONG!”

your instinct is first to tell him to not be so damn loud

but you’ve lost what pride you thought you had and yell right back at him

“NO IM NOT AND YES - I LOVE HENDERY - BUT HIS STUPID ASS HASNT EVEN TRIED TO TALK TO ME AND I HATE HIM, I LOVE HIM BUT I REALLY HATE HIM RIGHT NOW TOO!”

yukhei jumps up and down

you’re not sure he registered the last part of your sentence because something gleams in his eyes that you aren't sure you like

taeyong shakes his head, quietly picking your things up 

“ah, these kids really,,,,,,,,”

you pace up and down your dorm room like mad scientist

why did I do that? why did ii yell that out to the whole campus to hear - what is wrong with me?!?

you check your phone, but there isn’t a call or a text

yukhei has probably blabbed about it to hendery right now - what is going on why is no one telling me what is going on

you pick your phone up and scroll through the blocked contacts, you unblock everyone 

and you do get a flurry of text - but none of them are from hendery

ugh, im so stupid - not only did he trick me into being his friend but now he knows how ii feel about him and is probably laughing about it

you stop and put your hands on your face and groan

fuck you hendery, no one in the world could make me feel this crazy but you

some more time passes and you’re now sure that you’ve just embarrassed yourself further

you spotted kun on the way to your last final yesterday and had almost waved at him like everything was all peachy

when it wasnt

and now as you were packing your things up to leave the lecture hall you almost jump from your skin when someone shouts your name

you look down and beside a shocked professor is 

hendery?!?!?

“DID YOU THINK YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD GET TO SCREAM ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS?”

oh my god - what is this kid about to do

you watch in shock as the professor taps hendery’s shoulder, but is ultimately ignored

“YOU MADE ME GET ALL DEPRESSED FOR NO REASON - I REALLY THOUGHT YOU WERENT EVER GOING TO SPEAK TO ME AGAIN AND THEN YOU JUST GO ABOUT YELLING THAT YOU LOVE ME? THATS NOT FAIR!”

you panic a little because the professor brings out his cellphone and hendery’s gotten in trouble for you before

you kinda think that's going to happen now too

but,,,,,,but you want to hear what he has to say too

“ITS NOT FAIR SO IM GONNA DO THE SAME THING - GET READY BECAUSE IM GONNA LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT I - WON KUNHANG - AM IN LOVE WITH YOU TOO!”

just as he finishes, you see the professor put down his phone

your head spins, but you let your feelings be pushed to the side as you maddash toward hendery

the professor probably dialed for on-campus security, and whats worse is this idiot just said his full name! well - let me at least help him out like he helped me!

you grab hendery as soon as you get near him

looking him in the eyes and every part of you is screaming a million and one things

to yell back at him, to get angry, to tell him to fuck off, to tell him you love him to his face, to ask if hes insane for real

but you just

kiss him

the professor jerks back and you can feel hendery’s knees almost give out 

when you pull back you turn to the provfessor and smile

“we’re doing impromptu theater, was it any good?”

your bluff actually manages to work - the security gives you two a stern talking to and tells you to tell the theater club to knock it off with these “public disturbances”

you squeeze henderys hand behind your back when he tries to insist it wasn't a performance, it was his true confession

until you’re finally free of the guard and you let him go

“you could say that kiss was fake all you want, but i know it was real.”

is the first thing he has the AUDACITY to say to you

and although you want to blow up

you want to ask him about how this all happened in the first place

you cant bring yourself to be mad

you just look at him and then sigh

“how’d it end up being you,,,,,,”

he shrugs his shoulders and suddenly his voice gets a little quieter

“i ask myself the same thing,,,,,,”

you furrow your eyebrows and huff

“excuse me? are you saying im not likable-”

he puts his hands up and shakes his head

“no, im just saying you’re right - we definitely aren’t the people we thought we’d fall for. ii mean c’mon, when you said taeyong that night - i just knew you know.”

“knew what?”

“that he was the right choice for you. im just a stupid kid compared to him, there’s nothing about me for you to fall in love with.”

he’s not lying, you can tell by the way his tone is soft and there's a real self-hatered woven into it

your anger about whatever slips away because this is a side of hendery you knew existed but that you also knew he fought hard to not show

“hendery, you are stupid. you’re stupid because you legitimately think you’re inadequate of attention and love. do you know why you’re popular - its not because you’re so funny.”

he stands up straight and the serious look on his face is handsome, but it makes something sharp wedge in your heart

“its because you are one hundred percent selfless. and not for some kind of advantage, but because you really want to help.”

your shoulders drop a little

“i envy you, your hearts pure and your intentions are always good. living life that way is so beautiful, that's the first thing about you that i feel in love with.”

a silent pause follows after

the rawness of the situation dawns on the two of you in a way you didn't think would ever be possible

you've told a lot of things to hendery, you subconsciously spilled one of your biggest secrets to him

so it only makes sense that when it came down to this moment you’d really, honestly tell him everything

you feel as maybe you've made it a little awkward, lecturing him in a moment where you both have confessed when suddenly

you feel his hand take yours

that signature smile back on his face

“oh yeah? what else did you fall in love with?”

half of you wants to snap, the other half - the one that wins bursts out into laughter

the list is long, but in the moment you just answer

“the fact that you’re soooo good at throwing rocks!”

“hey, it is a charm!”

he leans in and his lips settle on yours, they’re warm and soft and you circle your hands around his neck

you had thought about what kissing him would feel like before - once just for fun, but recently for other reasons

you didn't expect him to be so reserved, letting his lips sort of softly part only when you push a little closer to him

its a good second kiss, though you don't think anything will ever beat your first lol

and nothing beats the story too - which makes it to the front of the student journal

(both you and hendery get a talking to from theater club who was NOT happy about you lying - but ultimately did like that you ended up together)

you are in perpetual embarrassment shock for a while

but hendery eats it up! - if anyone as much as mentions it he’‘s like 

“let me tell you the beautiful tale of our lov-”

and you have to clamp your hand over his mouth like lol sorry don't mind him

even in the early stages of dating, you can tell that hendery is that kind of significant other

just like he is with friendships, he gives himself wholeheartedly to the other person

like yes, you just started dating and you know most people don't start off shouting that they love each other 

but you guys are different and although you've somehow become a little shy of using the word

hendery is in it - you are his love, his lovely, his lovable, his capital L love of his goddamn life and if he doesnt get to say it a million times well then

he just isn't trying hard enough

and although his affection is overflowing, and his love language is obviously expression

it is not smothering at all because in reality, you feel exactly as much as he does

its just that you show it off differently, but those who are your friends know

because hendery used to be able to do anything and everything

hence his notoriousness for being down for any dare

but your love language? protection

“no hendery, you are not going to drink hot sauce out of the bottle because yukhei said you couldn't do it.”

“no hendery, you are not going to dress up like the shrek just because ten bought the costume on amazon”

“no hendery, you are not going to climb that fence - hendery get down!”

you aren't trying to limit his free spirit - youre just worried

when you were just friends he was always in some kind of trouble, either with people in authority or covered in bruises and scraps from the aftermath of his silliness

you explained it once to him in the simpliest terms you could think up

squishing his cheeks between your palms youd looked him in the eye and said

“you are my boyfriend, and if you break your arm doing something dumb - what does that mean 1) your arm is broken and 2) you cant hold my hand with that arm so that sucks for me and you - right?”

to be honest you could dangle holding hands or kisses as leverage and hendery will give up on the spot

because lets be honest, he cannot live a day without at least giving you some kind of physical affection

the boy is a bursting pile of cheesy love - and you really try not to use that against him 

because it really is so wonderful and pure

but if he wants to do something dumb you will put your palm out when he leans in to kiss you and he will get all fretty like a big baby

kun at some point: don't you feel like youre a dog owner with a big, misbehaving puppy

you: no, not at all.

kun: really?

you: at least a misbehaving puppy listens sometimes

kun: ah, i see

hendery’s kind of dates include a lot of latenight fast food runs and showing up to your dorm with the excited news that he got a hold of someones netflix password so you guys can binge corny tv shows

you thought he’d be the type to want a new adventure everyday, but surprisingly enough, hes very VERY content with staying in and just snuggling

not to say you two don't have some very memorable and slightly embarrassing date stories 

ahem, that one time hendery got you bubble tea and you were waiting outside and he said “look I can balance both our drinks on my head!”

of course he spilled them all over himself

and you two used up all the napkins in the store before escaping the cashiers glare into a nearby store to get hendery a new tshirt

hendery isn't super flashy by the way, his clothes are mostly comfortable basics, and he likes a bit of an oversized fit

so when you wear them they’re extra loved and cozy

hendery gets a bit fidgety the first time you do it - and you really cannot tell why

you wonder if he doesnt like you borrowing his clothes, but then you roll over a little to cuddle against him and he freezes

and you’re like 

oh, that’s why

hendery - although loud and energetic in all other aspects of life - is a pretty bashful lover

his hands are always a little shaky and he waits for you to lead in with anything more than kisses

and you actually think its very, very adorable 

because he gets this kinda dreamy look in his eyes and his voice gets softer

and when your lips are on his collarbones its like the only thing he can even do is whisper your name against your hair

its a side you enjoy keeping all to yourself, and hendery is so thankful because oh my god no one would let him live it down

xiaojun gets a little grumpy that you and hendery are always around more - but he likes you as a person

(to him, youre the only person who can really keep hendery’s ambitiousness incheck)

so he lets it slide

plus you finally got hendery to stop coming around to his ballet practice, because you refuse to let hendery do so until he finishes his labs

and you know hendery is smart, you tell from the way he can offhandedly answer questions about his major 

and even though he has this idiotic habit of dumbing himself down for comedy

seeing him run up to you and show you the first perfect score on his lab, it really makes you swell with pride

and his interest in infectious diseases and all the weird diagrams of micro-organisms and whatnot doesnt phase you

actually his passion for it makes you excited to listen to him talk

and ten is like ew that thing looks like a bug

and youre like “listen to me, if hendery thinks the cell membrane is cute then you say its cute. ok. or. else.”

gosh when you guys get together - theres this energy that is so ,,,,, sweet - its almost a little dizzying

because its obvious that these feelings you two can so freely show to each other now have been piling up for a while

and now its free reign

sometimes hendery’s bangs get long and hell lean in to kiss you but his hair will tickle you first 

and you always do this like giggle and hiccup when you get tickled

and hendery once blinks and goes

“you know your hiccups are number 105 on the list of things I love about you”

and you laugh because lol wow do you really have a list

and hes like pffft no

(he has a list, it is in his iphone notes)

hendery the type of boyfriend who spends like five weeks planning a celebration for your anniversery

but on the day off hes like F I cant do this and abandones all his plans

and just shows up in front of you with twelve different bundles of flowers and ten different stuffed animals

and is like

“I know you really like roses, but also you said you liked sunflowers when we went to that farm and i know your a cat person, but you also like wolves so I got you-”

he just really really really wants to make you happy

and sometimes you can tell that he thinks he doesnt

that he compares himself to people he thinks are better for you

and that's when you’re just like hendery, look at me - its you. its only going to be you.

because the universe might have felt like you two didn't fit, but its so obvious you do

you made up a rule that if hendery tries to talk down about himself he has to do ten pushups with you on his back

but you never actually make him do it ,,,,, you just spend like an hour telling him he’s so dumb - because you are so in love with him

as you guys go into senior year together, hendery becomes your biggest cheerleader and you become his

and seriously you two could get through anything togther

one afternoon, as you’re walking back from class and hendery slides his palm into yours

you see johnny and taeyong across the ways - they’re picking some people up or something and taeyong notices you two

he waves

and you both wave back

when you get to your dorm and you curl up in hendery’s arms, you feel him play with the ends of your hair

“I never asked you, why did you tell everyone about my crush on taeyong?”

“when you said you liked him, I thought you meant like in the moment - and so I thought I could get yukhei to set you two up.”

“but didn't you already have feelings for me?”

hendery smiles a little against your hair

“yeah, but nothing mattered more to me than making you happy.”

you clutch the front of his shirt a little - the sentence makes you want to cry

from happiness, but also because of course - you had jumped to conclusions thinking he’d done it to hurt you 

but its hendery, of course he only did it to help

“wanna know something dumb?”

hendery moves back a little so he can look at you better

“hmm?”

“ive always wished we knew each other better back in highschool - maybe then we’d have more time and none of that would have happened. maybe we could have fallen in love all those years ago.”

he scrunches up his nose and you sit up

he follows suit and takes your hands in his

“yeah but - it was worth it. and hey, if we’d been buddies or whatever you might have never left your letter in that locker and ii would have never gotten to throw that rock through the window.”

you roll your eyes

“reall-”

“that was a stupid thing to do, and its the only stupid thing ive done that im so happy i did.”

you let yourself fall forward, right into his arms, they’re warm and they feel so perfect around you

“oh - and shouting out how much i love you in front of your whole class. that's another stupid thing im proud of.”

*this post was commissioned | other college!aus 

#wayv scenarios #wayv imagines #wayv au #hendery scenarios #hendery imagines #hendery au #wayv #hendery #college!au #sfw #member: hendery #the way this reads like a 12 part anime in one #wiring commission #wayv hendery #tw: drinking #/drinking

[theweepingmonk]

Prompt number: 21. “this, this makes it all worth it” | Days 1,& 5…maybe 4?

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Scisaac

Tags: Fluff, Minor Injuries, Words of Affirmation, Love Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Post-Canon

can also be read on ao3, link in bio

also my only contribution to @scisaacweek

Isaac reaches for the first aid kit to find his hand trembling terribly. He clenches his hand into a fist and takes a few deep breaths.

He’s fine, he’s fine, he’s fine, Isaac reminds himself. He unclenches his fist and grabs the first-aid kit. 

He returns to Scott who waits for him on the couch, and plants himself on the coffee table. Werewolves didn’t necessarily need first-aid kits, but disinfecting wounds helped them heal even faster and they just made clean up easier in general. 

He coats a cotton ball in peroxide and starts cleaning at the gash above Scott’s left eyebrow. His hand still shakes but only slightly.

They’d walked into one of Monroe’s traps tonight. She’d kidnapped Liam and as they were on their way out from rescuing him she played a high pitched frequency that echoed throughout the entire building and made it impossible to think. 

Everyone except Scott, Stiles, and Lydia struggled to keep standing. Stiles immediately started grabbing the others by the back of their shirts and pushing them forward while Lydia grabbed onto Kira, and Malia specifically to guide them out. 

Isaac had only made it a few feet before falling to his knees, clutching his ears in an attempt to block out the sound. 

The walls shook suddenly, explosions sounding past the insidious humming noise. 

Scott roared to give them strength and Lydia screamed to try her hand at cancelling out the frequency and Isaac isn’t sure which caused it, but the others ran faster - away from him who still couldn’t think past the noise.

Scott had come back for him immediately, but an explosion had gone off as soon as he’d reached Isaac and he’d chosen to shield Isaac with his body. The ceiling above them came crashing down, and Scott had simply taken not only the impact but the bruises, the gashes, the blood, and all of the pain - so much pain that he’d passed out and Isaac had to dig them out of the rubble and carry Scott out. 

All Isaac could do on the ride home was take away his pain and watch the gashes on his back heal - which had drained Scott of most of his energy because the cut above his left eye was still there and so was a massive bruise between his shoulder blades. 

Scott yawns loudly, drawing his attention. “I’m starving…Do we have any leftovers from yesterday?”

Isaac swallows because he hasn’t spoken in awhile and he still feels cold with fear and anxiety. "I ate them for breakfast, but I can make you something while you shower.“

Scott smiles sleepily at that, and he realizes he stopped halfway through cleaning the wound and this was just Scott’s attempt to pull him out of his thoughts. He resumes cleaning, but his fear doesn’t settle and neither do his thoughts. 

The explosion replays in his head on a loop, the cries of pain Scott let out ringing in his ears and replacing everything else. No matter what the others said, it was his fault Scott had gotten hurt - he’d been the only one who needed rescuing. 

"Why do you keep coming back for me?” Isaac blurts, and then it’s like a dam breaking. “I mean, I’m helpless in a fight, all I do is get my ass kicked and make you get hurt saving me. Why do you even keep me around?”

Scott’s fingers wrap around his wrist, stilling his hand. “Why do I keep you around?” Scott repeats, a frown on his face, and Isaac wishes he could take the question back. 

“Well…I guess for a lot of reasons,” Scott says. “You’re my friend for starters, and I care about you - a lot and um, well I like you. I like who you are and I like spending time with you.”

Isaac glances up, eyes wide and mouth slack because he wasn’t expecting an actual answer. He thinks Scott will stop there, but he gives Isaac a smile and keeps going, gently squeezing his wrist. 

“I like watching you talk about comic books, and I like hearing about your life in France, and I like how you have a vendetta against that little French bistro because it gave you food poisoning, and I like when you laugh at my dumb jokes, and when you insist I cheat at Mario Kart, and when you spend hours shopping for clothes because you like trying new styles and I tag along and we end up getting burgers and ice cream after.”

“I like seeing you in the morning when you’re not quite ready to be awake and sitting with you quietly as we drink our coffee. I like how you always insist I have the last slice of pizza and pretend it’s a hard sell when I insist you do. I like having you next to me in battle because I know you have my back and because it’s easier to protect yours.”

Isaac blinks, feeling a wetness in his eyes he wasn’t expecting and a warm feeling in his chest that replaces the fear and anxiety. 

“So…I keep you around because I trust you. I keep you around because I know you’re stronger than you think and I can always rely on you. I keep you around because I want you around - always.”

Isaac can’t help the grin on his face, soothed so much by that last part he almost cries. 

Scott reaches forward to lift his chin with his thumb and forefinger. “And this, this makes it all worth it - all the hits I take saving you, all the pain,” Scott says. “Just knowing that you’ll be there after to take care of me…that I’ll still get to see you smile.”

Isaac flushes, studying Scott for a half a second just to confirm he wasn’t reading this wrong before he kisses him. He’s thrilled when Scott pulls him closer by the front of his shirt and deepens the kiss.

“Wait,” Scott murmurs against his lips, “I left out the most important reason.”

“I think I got the idea.”

“Maybe, but I think you need to hear it,” Scott says. “I think words are really important to you.”

They were. They always had been, especially when his dad went around spewing them like daggers.

Scott gives him a light peck, and pulls back so he can look Isaac in the eyes as he says, “I love you.”

His stomach does a flip, and his heart skips but still, his first instinct is to not believe the words - his past experiences with love not ideal and he isn’t sure he’s heard those words since…well, he doesn’t even know when.

“I love you,” Scott repeats, his hand unfurling from his shirt and moving it up to cup his cheek. “And I’m always going to go back for you.”

His beautiful brown eyes are soft and pleading and full of affection and he’s reminded that this is Scott McCall - the person he trusts most in the world - and he starts to think maybe, just maybe he can believe in those three little words again. 

“I love you too,” he whispers, a little scared of the consequences despite himself, his heart beating faster. 

Scott smiles and leans forward to kiss the edge of his mouth. “I love you more.”

Isaac gains a bit of confidence and says, “This isn’t a competition, McCall, but…I love you most,” and it makes him cringe a little, but Scott rewards him with a kiss and he forgets it. He forgets everything for awhile. 

#scisaacweek2020 #fictober20 #scisaac

[oceancoralx]

 Hey everyone, I’ve just been lingering about. Been avoiding Tumblr RP because it’s not really where I’ve felt the most comfortable (even though I’ve made some amazing friends, you guys know who you are and you guys are awesome). I tried to return through discord because that’s where I felt more comfortable but I haven’t checked there in a while either. Life has been pretty terrible honestly and my muse has been drained as the distractions and problems piled on top. I just wanted to drop in and give an update. Also... wow, there’s a lot of drama I’ve seen. Another reason I’m very hesitant to come back but I’m glad certain things are being addressed such as toxic masculinity and racism, especially within the sect of “gay rp” (idk, but you guys know what I mean). Anyone else, this ain’t about you, and I appreciate you guys because your talent is off the charts.

I try and lean less towards that gay rp end of the spectrum tbh because fetishization tends to happen, I’ve noticed, and there’s also been stuff to do with consent that, while I have to say is my problem considering it’s not my business, I’m very concerned about and uncomfortable with as they’re portraying non-con for fulfilment rather than being addressed as what it is. Or at least being treated as a trigger with a warning or anything at times. I prefer story based rps than smut (which I prefer to do with rpers I’m comfortable with) and that’s just my own personal preferences that doesn’t impact anyone but it’s a huge part of rp, technically and I think it’s worth putting my two cents (is that what Americans use? Is that the phrase?) in. 

In terms of a toxic masculinity argument, I don’t think that particular issue was addressed as well as it probably should have been in the post I saw going round but it’s definitely a part of it. I think the types of muses we glorify are very evident but I do believe that that’s almost entirely okay. Be attracted to what you’re attracted to or gravitate towards and do you! But I do see a lot of muses (sure, twinks can be a part of this conversation, okay, but you know a lot of other groups as well) are neglected. I think white, traditionally masculine muses with perfect, muscular bodies are favoured (fine) and also “gay” (stereotypical) behaviour, attributes, traits, features are rejected (eek ok)/deemed unattractive and I do think that there has been a problem where it’s teetered towards a kind of toxic masculinity/internally homophobic direction (not always but there’s been some of that.) I don’t think it’s intentional because we can all like what we like but what we put out with that sentiment has crossed the line a few times and that’s where we need to be careful. I also understand that a lot of these things aren’t going to be addressed when your characters are smutting it up because those rps aren’t that deep and you’re just trying to enjoy writing. I’d just say that be careful within those spaces that we don’t put out any harmful messages or idk make a conscious effort to try and be positive in any way we can? You’d think this is a very simple thing but if people are still agreeing that this is still happening then it’s something that needs to be realised and put into words. 

Idk. Could be as simple as putting a trigger warning or... rephrasing? Sometimes the character is just like that and that’s fine but acknowledgement OOC or something? I don’t know, maybe even that seems a little much but it at least makes the distinction between the character and mun. I don’t believe your characters represent you, wholly. Just be aware and conscious of these things and outside of your character interactions, especially if your character is intentionally problematic or toxic ect, try and be decent to everyone. Muses are fictional but the many muns behind them are real people and however great or small, you have an impact on the environment you contribute to. The argument I saw being conveyed was not well put but I think that just because the person arguing them has problems of their own (valid ones which I am about to address) lets not disregard everything they said from the conversation because I think we should still talk about toxic masculinity and homophobia in areas that were not addressed. Also the attitude of non-binary and trans muses as being less than is also something I acknowledge has happened a few times. We’ve come a long way since now these characters are actually being included and brought to the surface of attention and I don’t think that any of us are trying to be harmlful (or I should hope not) but I do think in queer spaces we should be the ones to make room/welcome these types of people and issues safely and comfortably into them. I’m not saying you necessarily have tor rp with muses you don’t want to, I’m not policing you to be more diverse and inclusive but be open minded and aware that you are making an impact in your threads, muses, bios, rules pages and ooc messages and be mindful what sorts of messages your words are communication. I want it in writing that trans men are no less of a man (same for trans women but I see even FEWER of these muses) and we should be learning to adapt to this understanding of gender rather than conveying attitudes of the past that harm people within the community. Also no matter what the body of the non-binary muse is like, respect that they’re non-binary if that is the decision from the mun. Don’t erase that by disregarding chosen pronouns for your own fulfilment in the story. A character being non-binary shouldn’t change what they contribute to the story, especially if the story is two characters flirt in an undescribed location with a convenient bed and the only thing they have in common is that they’re horny and hot. 

In terms of racism, now this hits a little harder. There’s definitely a problem there (as pointed out by a lot of the people who responded to the toxic masculinity post). I empathise with the sentiments expressed about the blatantly harmful attitudes geared towards Asian and specifically Korean muses, as well as a general attitude towards all POC muses. This needs to change and if you think that this whole preferences thing doesn’t mimic the problems of the real world towards POC than I think you need to rethink. Many different muses of many different ethnicities have been either rejected due to physical preferences and the argument that due to this being done in a space where we create fiction that means this is okay I think is very questionable. Whole races of people being generalized and boxed into one is not where we should be at. You being comfortable with only FCs who are actors is fine, or FCs that supply no significant age gap is completely fair but implying a whole race of people is unattractive? I’m not putting words into anyone's mouth but please do not do this. Especially right now, we shouldn’t be doing this and we should already understand why this is bad. On the other side of the spectrum, the fetishization and stereotypes, especially in the way it is advertised is very grim. Fetishization of a whole race of people is dehumanizing, especially if that race is an oppressed minority. I’m not accusing anyone but PLEASE just try and consider your approach to interacting with POC muses in this way. It requires so little effort to just question whether something is okay. I don’t think it is hard to listen to what is going on in the real world and not project those harmful things in order to fulfil your fantasies. I think there’s a problem there if certain fantasies are fulfilled on the back of people getting hurt. Just do your research and try to offend anyone is what I’m saying. It’s very simple. Just grow as a human. Pretty much if you’re not talking from experience, just be respectful, whether you’re putting out a muse or trying to interact with a muse. Make a mistake and then try and then learn and grow. Don’t try and box POC muses into ways they can fulfil your fantasies based on very tired ideals of who they are and what they can offer. I’m saying it again, just be respectful. Question what you put out, think about it and try not to hurt people through what you communicate. Have empathy. I’m reiterating the same things because these are simple thoughts that should just come so quickly and casually. There are so many people with a multitude of different experiences interacting with this and probably people who have more knowledge on it but lets not just address these issues when someone needs to be called out. Lets put a stop to it in general. This shouldn’t have just been made aware of when it was right there in front of us. 

Listen, I’m not here to police or tell people how to go about RP. Get weird, go crazy and be out there. Characters and threads are not real life, I understand that but just be aware of the impact around that little bubble within the thread. Try and make a conscious ever to put out positivity outside of your threads when you’re contributing to your blogs. Or at the very least, don’t put out negativity. Make sure that no one feels unwelcome or disregarded or hurt when they come to your blog. RP is a social activity (wow I sound like an annoying, patronizing teacher while I write this) and that means that no matter how introverted you are, you gotta navigate it that way. Just don’t be a dick. This isn’t a call out post, just a “think about it this way the next time you try and put something out there.” This was my opinion on a few things that have been circling and a few things that haven’t been touched upon much. I’m also open to criticism myself if there’s anything I should have said, got wrong or missed out. Like everyone else here, I make mistakes and I am trying my best. I don’t think many of us are harmful or negative people, but sometimes when we are otherwise distracted we can slip up so it’s good to direct our attentions back to those areas. Ok I’m done.

This is probably a mess of a post.

#OOC #Long fucking post

[reelybadfnafocs]

oc review

could you review my oc? I’ve had him for about 3 years now and I’ve never mentioned him to anyone online

Name: Pecky (name rule.)

“Species”: bird, not any specific kind, just…bird (name rule is easily fixed here if you just alter it to be like a pigeon or something. dont go with a complex bird species since you’re dealing with a kid’s restaurant robot, but perhaps pick a location and make its purpose to “educate” about a certain bird species idk)

Programmed gender: male

Years in service: 16 

appearance: light blue with yellow feet, red belly with four small buttons, four red feathers on his head, green eyes, and yellow beak. he has a major rip on his back the cheapo owners never fixed (see bio for how it happened) idk how to scan pictures lol id show you if I did (idk how i feel about these colors tbh, would like to see a color palette or something for this. also the buttons on the belly? strange placement for something with no clothes. like he’s not a snowman he’s an animatronic

as for scanning pictures im not too sure on that either but google could help you. i like the detail of the ripped beak though!)

bio: he was made for a Freddy's ripoff inspired restaurant called Pecky’s Burger World. he was made in 2003 a few months before it opened. in 2009 his programming was hacked and he performed death metal. it was fixed next day. rumors started circulating that he was possessed (he isn’t) and the restaurant is still open today. pecky is in ok condition, he has a rip on his back from kids playing rough (happened 2012) (PECKYS BURGER WORLD...that sends me rn 

also the hacking is hilarious, but useless as a detail. how does it serve pecky as a character? how does it serve Pecky’s Burger World to characterize it or serve the story’s purpose in any way? it doesn’t tell us anything, other than “well maybe pecky’s burger world is a shitty place if the animatronic was hacked,” but other than that...i don’t see a point to it other than ha ha funny funny. there’s other ways to make rumors spread about your animatronic being haunted in canon - maybe they start to give off weird, rotting smells, they stare too long at someone, they make weird creaks, there’s just made up stories in general, etc.

is pecky free roam? if so, use this to your advantage in getting kids to make up reasons for why he’s possessed/haunted. but i would feel like if it were me, i would stop making my animatronic free roam after kids ripped its back open. more detail on this in the future please!)

trivia: he has a prototype version from 2000. I might submit that one later. pecky has gone through some small changes in his time, such as slight color change from blue to light blue, eyebrows and eye replacements. (prototype pecky who will he kill

i enjoy the minor detail here in concept, pfft. it happens! good placement in trivia too, but not necessarily important to the character.)

sorry if this is badly formatted, this is my first time using tumblr

-------

the formatting wasn’t too bad, so don’t worry about that. i will review anything as long as i can read it.

your animatronic’s missing a personality in this submission, which could help us mods here better review your oc and give more feedback on it. it doesn’t have to be anything special or human-like - maybe make him this cheesy guy passionate about...bird calls, or something, and he plays them for the kids so they can learn about... birds? your oc, not mine, so go for it.

overall, not too much of a different oc from your typical “ripoff freddy fazbear animatronic” except for the fact that he’s not actually possessed. if i were you and wanted to make my oc stand out, i’d highlight this feature, especially the part where kids spread gossip about it being haunted. trust me, kids will make shit up about anything being haunted as long as it moves.

also need to think about cutting out what you don’t need for your oc or their story, because otherwise it’s just useless fluff that will get in the way for your audience. if this were a game wiki, i wouldnt mind the trivia, but if you’re going to have it, you should probably add something more than “prototype pecky had different eye colors and stuff.” i’d like to see differences contrasted on the reference sheets themselves so i go “ooh prototype pecky has different facial features” instead, but that’s just me. 

thanks for submitting, and i look forward to prototype pecky :D!

~mod mangle

#Review #submission #mod mangle #fnaf #fnaf oc

[meta-shadowsong]

On Force-Sensitivity Demographics

AKA:  Exactly How Many Force-Sensitive People Are in the Galaxy; and Is This Genetic?

This is something I think about from time to time--I’m not sure exactly why now is one of those times, except that I set up this blog not too long ago and therefore was reading back through some old metas I’d written/bookmarked/etc.

Anyway, since it has been on my mind, I figured I’d go ahead and get my thoughts on the matter into some kind of coherent format!

And said thoughts basically boil down to one big ol’ shrug emoji, because I don’t think there’s enough information to say for sure.

Let’s start with the first question--how many Force-sensitive people are in the Galaxy?

So, the main evidence we have for any type of discussion on this subject is the size of the Jedi Order, which is stated to be roughly 10,000 beings as of the fall of the Republic. But there are a couple problems with extrapolating from that number.

First, who exactly does that 10,000 estimate include? Is it every Jedi currently known to be alive according to Temple records? Is it all active Jedi Knights/Masters/Padawans? Is it limited to full Jedi who have passed their Trials? Does it include retired Masters? Younglings and initiates?

Second, even if we take it as the most inclusive number possible (i.e., every living member of the Jedi Order from Master Yoda down to the three-month old that got brought in the day before the end), that’s not necessarily an accurate barometer for the percentage of Force-sensitives in the general population. For one thing, there are entire populations that are outliers (i.e., Dathomir, which seems to have a higher percentage than the galactic average, to the point where I kind of think it’s some kind of genius locus/an entire planet of people who are sensitive to a perceptible degree), and we don’t know how many of those/how sizeable they are.

With that in mind, using just the Jedi Order is probably not super-accurate to the galaxy as a whole. See above, re: Dathomir; not to mention other populations such as the Bardotta and Lasat that seem to have strong native traditions and generally don’t send their children to the Temple. Also, given that there’s a gradient/some level of variation in terms of raw strength/natural ability above whatever threshold the Jedi consider the minimum for induction into the Order, there probably is below it, too. Meaning, there’s most likely an unknown population of people who are perceptibly more sensitive than Joe Average, even if they don’t quite meet the Order’s standard, whatever that may be. I mean, you could view Force-sensitivity as a simple on/off switch, with…IDK…varying brightness in the bulbs once they’re turned on, but that seems weird/doesn’t really hold up for me. Especially given that, at least in Legends, certain species (such as the Iktotchi, IIRC) have a higher baseline level of Force-sensitivity than Humans do. Granted, the gradient issue is probably more relevant to the second half of this discussion (on possible heredity), rather than broad population estimates, because at some point a line has to be drawn; still, I thought it best to mention it.

Third, even if we exclude populations like Dathomiri/Bardotta/Lasat and people who are sensitive enough to Do Things, but not necessarily above whatever threshold the Jedi require, that 10,000 is still probably not a great sample, because it’s fairly limited. It consists of people who were a) born in the Republic and/or found by a wandering Jedi within the appropriate age range, whatever that may be, and b) had parents who were willing to give them up for adoption. I’ve touched on this before but the highlights: we don’t know how many letter B excludes, but even letter A probably doesn’t catch all the eligible people within that parameter.

And I can say this because of Palpatine.

Based on his background, coming from a sector capital (if a relatively rural/minor one) and born to parents who had a fair amount of personal resources, it’s hard to believe that he wouldn’t be identified. I mean, yes, one explanation is a handwaved because Destiny said so/the Son chose his champion and made sure he would be found by the correct teacher, but it’s just as likely that there are kids, even from highly visible populations, who slip through the cracks--let alone children from less visible populations. Especially since, to my knowledge, there’s not actually a whole lot of information out there on exactly how candidates for the Order are identified, so it’s hard to say how many people, like Palpatine, slipped through the cracks.

Now, to be fair, I don’t know if this possible increase in the numbers of Force-sensitives makes a significant difference in terms of the percentage they make up of the overall population, given the sheer size of the galaxy. But that just brings me to question #2, because I think it does mean that determining whether Force-sensitivity is genetic is really, really hard to determine.

Again, since most of our information comes from the Jedi Order, we’re dealing with a potentially skewed/small/nonrepresentative sample size of people who, generally speaking, do not have biological children. In addition, we don’t actually know a whole lot about who more than, like, a hundred or so of those ten thousand are? Of whom we do see one set of cousins (if I’m remembering current canon about Adi Gallia and Stass Allie correctly) and one sibling pair (from the Order 66 arc in Clone Wars; though they are twins, which by common laws/tropes of Fantasy Genetics makes things Special/weird/more likely to be magic/Force-sensitive).

Anyway, that evidence is not the greatest for making broad generalizations. Basically, we can extrapolate that you don’t have to have (Jedi-level) Force-sensitive parents to be Force-sensitive yourself. Meaning, the ability itself can turn up as a completely spontaneous mutation, so to speak--which, while not the best term, is the one I’m going to use from here on out for convenience.

But that doesn’t necessarily say anything about the likelihood of a Force-sensitive parent passing on said mutation and having a Force-sensitive child.

And that, we really can’t answer definitively, since the only people whose bloodlines we can track that are known to contain multiple Force-sensitives are the Skywalkers (who are outliers adn should not be counted) and Maul and his brothers (who are Dathomiri and thus, as discussed above, most likely a Special Case).

So here, we enter Wild Headcanon territory.

That disclaimer aside, my personal take on the heredity question, is that the more sensitive you are, the higher your chances of producing a Force-sensitive child. So, for example (and pulling numbers out of thin air), Joe Average has a 1/20 chance of having a Force-sensitive baby through a spontaneous mutation; the average Jedi Knight or someone with the equivalent level of potential has a 50/50 chance of passing it on; someone on Palpatine or Yoda’s level has maybe a 3/4 chance; and of course Anakin’s children will be Force-sensitive regardless (but, again, outlier/Life Incarnate/I’m pretty sure the main reason it took three years to conceive the twins was that he and Padme were both using like five kinds of birth control and also didn’t actually have all that many opportunities to sleep together--buuuuuut that is a discussion for a separate post).

Anyway, this still means that Joe Average could have five Force-sensitive kids in a row and a Jedi-level Force adept could have five kids and none of them are sensitive, because these probabilities are for each individual child. In essence, while rare, it is possible to roll a die and get, say, five straight nat ones (as D&D players will probably know); and it’s…actually more likely than that to flip a coin and get tails five times in a row, according to my vague memory of high school math and how to calculate probabilities.

[Tangentially, this explains Korkie in my head, since he seems to be either Force-null or somewhere on that sliding scale between zero and the Jedi threshold. Because I do headcanon him as Obi-Wan and Satine’s biological son (though I think Bo-Katan is legally his mother; but that’s something planned for my fic blog rather than here); and the cointoss turned up tails.]

And this is just the most basic, surface-level analysis, without even considering the impact of the second bioparent in the equation (not that I think this fits neatly into a Punnett square or anything), or what happens if you’re dealing with a Force-null child of a Force-sensitive parent; or varying probabilities depending on where the nominally non-sensitive parent falls on that sliding scale I keep mentioning…but most of that would be well beyond my half-remembered high-school bio/math understanding of probability and genetics soooo yeah.

In conclusion--with regard to the questions of how many Force-sensitives there in the galaxy; and even more so whether or not Force-sensitivity is at all genetic, the answer is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  because there isn’t enough information to say for sure one way or the other.

(Note: it probably also bears mentioning, re: the heredity question, that families in the GFFA seem to run fairly small? Like, I can only think of one confirmed example of a family with more than two kids in canon (Maul and his brothers; who are Dathomiri and therefore possibly not a good example for determining Force heredity) and one possible one (Satine, Bo-Katan, and a possible third sibling; though to my knowledge that has never been 100% confirmed/made explicit, and neither of the two we know for sure exist are Force-sensitive). Everyone else I’m coming up with is either an only child or one of two siblings, or not specified. I can’t even think of all that many in Legends, though there are a few more there. To be fair, we don’t actually have a very broad sample of families, either, so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

#star wars #fandom #originally posted june 2019

[scratchface]

Yusaku and the Rejection of Fear

Part four of the Yusaku character analysis! And more! Like discussion of some of the more subtle themes in Vrains, and what they mean.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

This is pretty long and image heavy, but it was by far the most fun.

Wariness

I’ve already talked about Yusaku and first impressions and how he analyzes everyone he meets for potential threats, but that says lot about Yusaku in regard to the first encounter. He trusted a stranger once without taking the due caution, and it’s not a mistake he’s going to make again.

That means with Yusaku, we can probably assume you’re a “bad guy” before you’re proven to be a “good guy”; not necessarily in terms of good vs evil, or guilty vs innocent, but In untrustworthy vs trustworthy.  

But despite his wariness, Yusaku disregards most people entirely; they don’t factor into his perception of the world as important at all. He doesn’t recognize a classmate on sight, and when he sees an out during the conversation with Naoki, after establishing that Naoki knows little about Playmaker besides rumors, he tries to take it.

But the confirmation Yusaku sought is actually quite interesting, because the only way Naoki would have seen Playmaker at this point was if he witnessed a duel between Playmaker and a Knight of Hanoi, or was a Knight himself. Yusaku was making sure the person approaching him had no connection to Hanoi, and had no leads on Playmaker. You can see this in how he actually asks Naoki two questions, despite being completely disinterested: he was prompting Naoki to give him more details about himself to work with, while never once giving away anything about himself.

In fact, this is a common tactic Yusaku uses in his IRL conversations; he always let’s others do the talking, and only briefly interjects to get them to talk more. He does it to Aoi, but mostly does it to Naoki.

This is how Yusaku monitors the people around him; Yusaku likes to know and control how much others know. He eavesdrops and investigates, but never gives away anything of himself except occasionally his name. Yusaku wants to know as much as possible while limiting the knowledge base of everyone else, which isn’t just a tactical decision on his part. When speaking of the incident and what came afterwards, Yusaku focuses a lot on how little he was told, and it’s clear that it still bothers him.

Yusaku seems to have a complex about knowing information regarding his current situation. The situation involved torture and starvation, but what may have scarred Yusaku the most what the lack of control and knowledge, the inability to understand his situation. Or rather, ignorance is intrinsically linked to powerlessness in Yusaku’s mind. That’s what leads into his obsession with finding the truth:

It’s fair to say that in Yusaku’s mind, knowledge absolutely means power. The one who uncovers the most is the victor, which is also why he’s jealously keeps his own secrets, except for when he’s lashing out at Hanoi.

In order to control the distribution of knowledge, Yusaku’s behavior is rather manipulative, but he almost never lies. When he himself is questioned, he gives a vague answer or none at all, and let’s the other draw their own conclusions. He carries a fake deck entirely for the sake of subterfuge. He takes the necessary steps to make sure he’s never pegged as a candidate of Playmaker’s true identity: no reputation as a duelist or a hacker in real life, or as someone invested in the matter of Hanoi. 

But despite how careful he is, Yusaku doesn’t hide his identity when breaking into Vyra’s apartment, despite the likelihood of her actually being in it and seeing him. There was no guarantee she would be in Vrains at the time. Yusaku was fully prepared to come face to face with a Hanoi General in her own home. Had she not been purged, Yusaku likely fully intended to interrogate Kyoko when she awoke. But then what? She still would have seen him, even if he sent her off with the authorities.

This all leads to a single conclusion:

Fearlessness

Yusaku is fully prepared to be found. He doesn’t want to be, but he doesn’t want the conflict with Hanoi to stay just in Vrains either. Yusaku wants justice beyond stopping Hanoi’s online activity; which is why he struggles to uncover the IRL identities of Hanoi’s knights, and also likely the reason Vyra was in jail. Kusanagi and Yusaku must have made sure the authorities found evidence of her cyber terrorism and the Another’s virus when they called an ambulance for her. Yusaku is careful, but he’s not afraid of confrontation. In fact, the character in the series least wary of the battle entering the real Den City may actually be Yusaku.

Let’s not forget, Yusaku has a hidden compartment in his apartment. One that protects his unconscious body from being found while he’s in Vrains. Yusaku included this because he thought him being found out and tracked down to his apartment was an possible eventuality. By staying within a secret room, if his identity was revealed and his apartment was raided, he could wait out the raid in hiding. Yusaku was anticipating taking the fight IRL, and properly preparing for it. That’s why he doesn’t hide his face, why he reveals himself as a victim of the Incident, and more.

Which brings new insight to these words:

This isn’t just a mocking reply; this is the truth. Yusaku really wants this fight. He’s completely unwavering before the possible IRL consequences and the dangers ahead.

Quite a bit of emphasis is placed on just how much time Yusaku has spent preparing for his revenge. That’s how much he’s been wanting it. 

Lots of characters in Yu-Gi-Oh express faith in their decks, but Yusaku especially focuses on how he built the perfect weapon for challenging Revolver and Hanoi.

It’s not just his cards Yusaku is confident in:

Yusaku won’t lose, because he won’t accept failure. After ten years of suffering and scheming, Yusaku isn’t going to let any of it go to waste. So much so that even when faced with what he admits is pitifully low odds, Yusaku considers victory the only possible result. For someone who was once caught and tortured by the people he’s now confronting, that’s nothing short of incredible. It’s like Yusaku has banished all his fear.

And because of his faith in himself, Yusaku purposefully takes risks and injures himself in order to gain advantage over his opponents. Yusaku doesn’t play safe; he carefully measures the danger of his every action and does it anyway. Whether it’s risking a limb or psychological trauma, Yusaku will do it if it means gaining leverage over Hanoi. His identity is just another chess piece he’s prepared to lose if it gets him closer to taking the king and knowing everything.

With Yusaku’s obsession with knowing the truth of the past and his struggle with making sense of his history, its really no surprise that the next villain has the ability to alter memories. In fact, its hard to imagine someone that clashes more with Yusaku on an ideological level.  

Humanity

Yusaku thinks people are the same as they were in ancient times. And the context of this line is the fear and superstition triggered by the eclipse in Vrains. Yusaku considers fearfulness inherent to mankind.

What does that say about Yusaku, who has no fear? Nothing absolute, but the implications are certainly there. No wonder Yusaku is unable to affirm his own humanity in the duel with Bohman.

But, there’s a little something more to all of this, that ties back in with a rather contradictory trait of Yusaku’s: his forgiveness.

So, @breakdawn-avenue asked a while back:

“I’m just re-reading your first part of Yusaku’s analysis (the abyss and his special person) and was wondering if it may change (a little bit, if anything) considering episode 58.”

I think the biggest shift in our perspective of Yusaku coming out of 58 is that he’s incredibly forgiving. We already knew this, seeing how he shrugs off Akira’s torture and maintains a relatively good relationship (not trusting, not friendly, but not bad either) with him and Ghost Girl despite how many times the two of them have screwed Yusaku over. But this is on another level.

I think Yusaku’s incredibly forgiving nature isn’t just compassion and empathy for others, it also comes from a place of apathy and mistrust as well. I mentioned Yusaku initial character bio before, but a huge part of that is “He only seems to trust Kusanagi.”

And it’s true. Kusanagi is one of the few people Yusaku expresses faith in, through out the series.

Besides Kusanagi and a few more arguable exceptions like maybe Ryoken and Takeru, Yusaku doesn’t trust anyone. He doesn’t have faith in anyone. He has no belief in the nature of other people, and no expectations of being treated with kindness. He thinks people are fearful, and what does fear do to people? Makes them focus on self-preservation. So when people betray him, hurt him, put him under the bus for their own self interest, Yusaku isn’t offended, because he expected as much. To Yusaku, it seems, people are just like that: cruel and selfish, and because he’s accepted it, it doesn’t seem to bother him much. Yusaku expects to be hurt.

Why? Because he once tried to make friends with a boy and got kidnapped and tortured because of it. The last time Yusaku believed in the innocent intentions of others was the start of his own living hell. 

And because Yusaku thinks everyone is like that, he doesn’t really resent it. He’s been through worse, so the petty hurts don’t bother him. He only trusts his own abilities, so the betrayal of others is just a minor inconvenience. 

Yusaku thinks all people act in their own self-interest, and he has yet to be proven wrong. Even Go, who stunned and impressed Yusaku with his compassion, his attentiveness to his opponent, and his sportsmanship has turned out to be as self-motivated as the rest. Aoi and Ema have been selfish characters from the start, and Akira has shown on multiple occasions that his own self-righteousness comes before all else. Yusaku doesn’t hold any of this against them. To Yusaku, selfishness is not a “bad” trait, its inherent within everyone. And he doesn’t hold Ryoken’s mistakes and crimes against him either, because while Ryoken had a hand in destroying Yusaku’s faith in humanity, he was also the only one to try and fix it. 

Speculation, Fear, and Life

But is Yusaku right? Within the world of Vrains, does fear and struggle make the average person selfish and cruel?

So far, yes, and ain’t that something? Dr. Kogami supposedly started all of this out of fear of mankind’s inevitable mortality, and committed atrocities in the name of alleviating that fear. Then, scared of the what his creations were capable of, he formed the Knights of Hanoi and tried to hurt and kill millions of people and destroy all computer-based technology. And the Ignis, the most “human” of all AI, are notable because of how they fear for their own lives, and may destroy humanity because of it.

The further you look, the more you see fear leading to selfishness or cruelty in Vrains, in the name of self-preservation. Go, afraid of losing his acclaim and the reverence of children, challenged Playmaker. Aoi, afraid of being unloved and left alone by her brother, challenged Playmaker. Akira, afraid for his comatose sister, tortured Playmaker. SOL, afraid of being unable to maintain their tech empire ordering the manhunt for Playmaker. There are more reasons behind all of these, but fear is an undeniable factor. 

Even more, we have Blood Shepherd, who seemed like a nice person before tragedy occurred and he became callous and cruel. He’s a representation of the “human” side versus the “AI” side. If Kengo and the Knights and SOL all represent humanity, it paints a pretty ugly picture, doesn’t it?

But let’s look at the opposite. If the desire to live in Vrains leads to selfish actions that harm others, what does it mean when people risk their lives?

What happens when people overcome fear, and decide there’s something worth risking their lives for? Sacrifice, almost every time. That is the entire basis of the Tower of Hanoi arc: every single character in Vrains besides Playmaker sacrifices their life, purposefully or not. All of the Hanoi generals, Ema, Aoi, Akira, Spectre, Go, Ai, and Kogami all sacrifices themselves and “die”, however briefly it lasts. And they do this because they’ve overcome fear and selfishness. Ryoken attempts to follow their example. Even the news crew put their lives at risk! Now, in season 2, we see Takeru overcoming his fear to join Playmaker, and repeatedly using himself as a meat shield for Yusaku’s sake, particularly in the most recent episode. We’re seeing similar progress with Aoi, Ema, and Akira too, as each explores their own different ideas of putting aside their self-interest and safety. 

So fear is linked with life, and courage is linked with death.

Except in the case of Yusaku. Yusaku is the exception, as his unwavering courage leads him to victory. 

If fear is what keeps people alive, is fear the result of free will, the drive people have towards life? Ryoken and Kogami insist free will is essential to life, after all, and the inclusion of free will in the Ignis allows them to fear for their lives. 

When Yusaku has a dream about Revolver talking about the lack of free will equating to a lack of life, he wakes up yelling “I…”.

As if something about “free will” causes Yusaku subconscious distress, enough that he wants to defend or explain something about himself. “I” what, Yusaku? Does Yusaku subconsciously feel like he lacks something essential to life? We can’t forget that Ai has pointed out that between them, it’s Yusaku that seems more like an AI. Ai is the “human” one between the two of them, and is certainly the one who possesses the most fear and sense of self-preservation.

Is Yusaku really missing some essential component to free will, to life, one that was lost to the Ignis, or is he purposefully leaving it behind and gradually becoming less human than the Ignis themselves? And is that why he isn’t sacrificed? What isn’t “alive” can’t “die”?

The further I get into this, the less likely it seems Yusaku is really “human” in the same way the other characters are, going by the recurrent themes. Is he from another dimension? A reincarnation? An advanced AI? An alien? Or, is he a human in the process of becoming something inhuman?

And what of the other six? Takeru’s arc is clearly addressing how he’s currently learning to abandon his fear, just like Yusaku already did. Spectre seems to have cast aside his fear as well, while Jin wallows in it. Eventually, though, we can assume Jin too will overcome his fear. Where is this all going? What makes the six kids exempt from the basic nature of humanity, a nature so pervasive it even infects the artificial creatures based on them? And if they lose the fear that keeps life-forms alive, what are they?

Will Yusaku’s rejection of fear, and therefore self-preservation, catch up with him in the end, claiming his life as it did the others’? His quest for revenge has been impressive, and successful, but there’s something self-destructive in his relentlessness.

#vrains #yugioh vrains #ygo #yusaku fujiki #and this one is a doozie #fujiki yusaku #vrainalysis

[virtuissimo]

Trail of Lightning by Rebecca Roanhorse (Review)

Roanhorse has effectively cemented herself as a visionary in indigenous futurism with her rich world-building, her casual commentary on the powers that be, and even her dynamic and lovable characters, but I think it’s perfectly clear that this is her debut novel. She definitely gets lost in the sauce plot-wise towards the end, and there are several points where the potential for improvement is obvious. Nonetheless, she’s got me rearing for the next book already, and I will definitely be following this series.

This is the kind of book where I really think you can get the most out of it if you go in blind with very little prior knowledge of the book, and it really is a good one. I encourage yall to give it a go. If you don’t care about getting a little more detail, I’ll go into a spoiler free section.

No Spoilers

Okay, first thing I’ve gotta talk about is the setting. First off, it’s AWESOME. The setting is about 6? 7? years after an apocalypse. The explanation for it is really organic and it informs a lot of how the book proceeds.

Idk if this counts as a spoiler so it’s in its own paragraph, but basically the apocalypse was a series of natural disasters around the world plus a major flood that drowned out most of the continental U.S. except for a few walled off city states. The walls are specifically and emphatically NOT the ones that the Trump administration is gunning for—Roanhorse dismisses that quite quickly. These walls were ones that local communities decided to put up, and they are made of beautiful materials that have cultural significance for the Dine.

My favorite thing about the setting is the societal organization. Dinetah is a really interesting place because of the ubiquity of Dine people & culture, but also because Roanhorse obviously has a lot of really interesting thing to say about what apocalypse means to a people that have already had their apocalypse. They already had foreign invasion and genocide, they already had their numbers chipped away to a shadow of its former size, they already had their land destroyed beyond recognition. So what does it mean when in apocalypse destroys the society that destroyed yours? I think Roanhorse’s answer is that it did more good for the Dine than bad. They are freer and safer in an apocalypse, even DESPITE the presence of monsters everywhere.

One thing I really liked about her approach to Dinetah was the use of language. To quote a journal entry I wrote about this book: “Roanhorse makes creative use of Dine words and language. There is no glossary, and sometimes there isn’t even an in-text translation. English speakers are forced to pick up Dine words with no life preserver just as so many non-English speakers are forced to do the same in our world.” Most of the concepts, like clan powers and ghosts and monsters, have a Dine word attached to them, and you learn to recognize them as you read. She doesn’t remind you of their definition either: you either paid attention the first time it came up or you’re screwed! It was just an interesting stylistic choice, and I enjoyed the experience.

Another note about the setting that I love: I LOOOVE the references to the other citystates. I think one was New Detroit? New Denver? And there was a Mormon citystate (when I read that I screamed) and there was one called Aztlan (!!!!!) which was very exciting for me. I have complicated feelings about Aztlan because I think most people who live in this post-apocalyptic citystate would probably not be indigenous Mexicans but rather americanized mestizo Chicanos who think they have an inherent claim to the land just because they colonized it first, but I think as an indigenous author I can trust her to develop a nuanced view of Aztlan and what that means for Mexican Americans (especially consider the fact that she had several sensitivity readers mentioned in her acknowledgements). I really hope we get a chance to explore those in future books.

Oh, also: there are no white people in this book. Like, none. They reference them in vague terms, but I don’t think there was a location or scene that had a white person even in the background, and there were certainly no speaking parts for white people in this book. So basically I loved that. I do that often in my own writing but it’s so rare in mainstream fiction. There is a family that is not Dine in the book, but they are a large black family. With regards to the writing of the black characters: I noticed that her physical descriptions of them sometimes had words that I’ve seen on lists of What Not To Say About Black Characters (comparing skin color to food, particular words used to describe hair, etc.), but I flipped to the author bio and she apparently is black as well as indigenous so I guess my concerns weren’t really relevant lol. One of these characters is also gay, and I thought his characterization was a little bit weird, but it’s fine I guess.

Now I haven’t seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I’ve read a spinoff from the same universe and have heard enough about it to see the obvious inspiration that Roanhorse took from it. This is not necessarily a bad thing, of course; Buffy has a very particular energy where it’s fantastically easy to get invested. Maggie Hoskie as a hero is easy to love, and even as someone who doesn’t typically like lengthy action sequences, I found the fighting scenes thrilling. However, at the same time Roanhorse commits some of the same mistakes in writing her female protagonist that Joss Whedon so famously introduced into the mainstream, and there are a few times where it becomes difficult not to roll your eyes.

As I’ve seen other reviewers note, Maggie as a character is very reliant on the men in her life. She describes early on how her life was saved by Niezghani, an immortal godlike monster slayer, and his presence in her thoughts influences nearly every decision she makes throughout the novel. Some people have a problem with this; I personally think this is a fine set-up. The author takes great care to show how unhealthy her relationship with Niezghani is. Even when Maggie is talking about how great and powerful he is, how she should be grateful that he even gives her the time of day, we as a reader can tell something is very wrong with their relationship from the very beginning. I don’t really like the direction Roanhorse went with Niezghani (I’ll get into that in the spoilers section I guess), but I thought this relationship as a premise was fine.

I think where she slipped up a little was in putting her relationship with Kai, a mysterious and charming medicine man who helps her on her investigation/quest/whatever, as the center of the story. I guess technically we’re not certain about this since the whole series isn’t out yet, but I think it’s safe to assume this guy is endgame. The whole first half of the book is spent getting to know Kai, which I think is fine because he is a great character and truly charming. (I’m always suspicious of “”charming”” type characters because more often than not the author makes them annoying and presumptuous.) He actually seems to care about the things that are happening, he doesn’t make assumptions, he understands boundaries, and his kindness is genuine. I like Kai, okay, he’s great. BUT I think that spending so much time with him instead of ruminating with Maggie some more was a mistake.

I can understand WHY roanhorse did this: Maggie is someone who is very wrapped up in her thoughts, and 9 times out of 10 her thoughts are really fuckin depressing. I just think that a lot of time was spent characterizing Kai when it could have been done in less time and more efficiently.

The main thing about Kai is that his skills as a medicine man are very mysterious, and Maggie becomes curious very early on about the nature of his abilities. The answer to her questions, though, aren’t given until very very late in the book. In fact, we don’t understand everything about his medicine man secrets until like 10 pages from the end. I think this is way too late. First off, we don’t get to see him in action very much, and the way things go I really wish we had. Second, Roanhorse just wastes a lot of time in the beginning and crams a whole lot in the end. From a world-building perspective these sections are really cool and fascinating, but plot-wise it’s extremely inefficient that we learn about Kai in bits and pieces like this, especially since all of his secrets kind of come out one after the other all crowded at the end. I don’t know if she got the right balance in that tradeoff.

Another critique I’ve seen people have is that all of Maggie’s problems AS WELL AS the solutions to her problems revolve around the men in her life. I did think it was strange that Maggie was essentially the only major female character in the whole book. There was Rissa, but she was a minor character and didn’t have much agency in the plot. I would say that Maggie did have agency, and the way she carries herself both in conversation and in action both suggest that she is making her own decisions independent of male influence. I see where these critiques are coming from, though, and I agree that more of her story should have been herself rather than obsessing over these men.

Minor spoilers I guess: One scene that I think most socially conscious people rolled their eyes at was the decision to create a plot point where she had to get all dolled up in a sexy outfit because Reasons. And then people had that weird Oh My God So Hot moment that we are all so fond of (/s). Annoying tropes like that rear their ugly faces from time to time, but this is the only one that really irritated me.

Yea. I mean. It’s a good book. I think yall should read it. As I’ve said, the worldbuilding and setting is awesome, the characters are super cool, the action is cool and Actually let’s just get into the spoilers.

SPOILERS

Coyote was one of my favorite characters. I think Roanhorse may have wanted him to be a morally gray could-be-either-side type of character, but I really saw him as a straight up villain just because he never actually did help them in a way that didn’t backfire. I love reading him though; the sheer chaos that he brings to every scene really appealed to my gayer side. I don’t know if this is an aspect to him that is commonly seen in folktales or something, but I did think that he was a little over the top creepy about the sex stuff though. When he said that shit about Maggie jacking off to Niezghani I was just…ok he’s crossin some Lines here. Also he was constantly making Kai and Maggie uncomfortable sexually, so I don’t really get why they were always so willing to trust him. Still, he was SO interesting. Whenever he showed up I was instantly enthralled.

One thing that got on my nerves a little was that from the very beginning, it was very clear that Kai and Maggie being endgame is a given. Don’t get me wrong, Roanhorse put in the work to make them seem like a really organic and natural couple. And I guess it’s kind of respectable that she didn’t try to pretend like it wasn’t gonna happen, cuz we all knew. But I think it was a little annoying that EVERYONE, including Tah and Longarm and Grace and Coyote and Kai and EVEN MAGGIE at times were basically of the attitude that they were just biding time until they eventually hook up one day. She really didn’t have to do all that; I liked them as a couple already!

Okay but plot-wise, I have to say this, but Roanhorse REALLY got lost in the sauce there. The final battles were so complicated, and there were actually 3 different scenes that felt like they could be the final battle but then there was more (the battle where Rissa got gutted, the Niezghani versus Maggie fight, and the Black Mesa battle). I feel like she couldn’t decide on a conclusion for book one and just threw all that in there for good measure. In any case, it made the last third of the book really messy and unfocused.

I think she also had too many Reveals. Like, Niezghani revealed Kai’s identity, Kai reveals his true intentions, Coyote reveals his plan, Maggie reveals her counter-plan, and Coyote reveals the circumstances of her nali’s death. TOO MUCH. It was all so cloudy and confusing towards the end, especially with regards to Coyote’s plan. First of all, I didn’t really understand what his plan was on first read, and I ESPECIALLY didn’t understand why he took the time to explain it to her. Second off, I didn’t understand Maggie’s counterplan (I don’t think it’s explained in too many words?) and I ESPECIALLY didn’t understand how they planned to have Kai survive. (Now that I’ve had time to think about it I suppose it’s related to his fast healing situation probably, and they just decided to murk him and see if he was actually immortal or whatever the fuck.) Also Kai and Maggie had that whole conversation about their love life right in front of Niezghani………messy as fuck and also is this really the time?????

One thing I really liked about the beginning of the book was that Maggie was such an unreliable narrator when it came to Niezghani. Like, it was pretty obvious that he’s garbage from the beginning, but Maggie just idolizes this man and you have to like scream into the book WHYY??? But the only way that she’s able to idolize him that way is that he presents himself as a mentor, as an authority, and maybe not so much as a caring figure as much as someone to look up to. He is, if nothing else, RESPECTABLE. But when he finally shows up in the Maggie v Niezghani fight, he is not respectable. He is overtly cruel in a way everyone, including Maggie, can see. He is overtly manipulative. He is overtly uncaring and honestly terrible. But this portrayal of him is SO MUCH LESS NUANCED than it was at the beginning of the book. I wish Roanhorse had had the guts to make him more complicated. To make him ACT apologetic or ACT like a mentor, but to make him a hypocrite. That, to me, would have been much more interesting. I understand that trauma informed a big part of the reason Maggie trusted him in the first place, but I wanted to meet the smooth and enchanting man that Maggie fell in love with but all I saw was this horrible person who never even tries to hide how horrible he is.

Of course, as this is just the first book, we don’t really know what is to come. Since Niezghani is just chillin under the dirt, I think we can assume that he’ll be back. Nonetheless, I’m a bit disappointed that he was pacified/restrained at the end of this book. I kind of hoped that after this confrontation, Maggie would have an epiphany about all the shit he put her through, and then in following books he would be the main antagonist. They would have various run-ins, but only in the final book has she truly built up the strength to get her comeuppance. Or something like that. I just wanted Niezghani’s role to be stretched out is all. I wanted her arc of truly unpacking all of that mess to be over the course of several books, not just one novel in which she’s also distracted by her budding romance with Kai and also the monster stuff.

So yea. It’s a good book. There’s problems, as I’ve clearly stated, but honestly a lot of them come across to me as rookie errors. This is her debut novel, and I don’t think it’s that weird for her to use these tropes in ways that I as a reader don’t care for. However, I definitely think that the pieces are there for her to make excellent use of her setting and characters and pull together a really energetic and thrilling series. Looking forward to returning to the Sixth World!

#book review #trail of lightning #the sixth world #sixth world #6th world #rebecca roanhorse #trail of lightning review #indigenous futurism #scifi #indigeneity #books #my post #jub jub reads books

[fbwzoo]

I’m sorry if this has already been asked before but I / really / want a hedgehog but haven’t found any reliable care sheets for them that I trust. Thankfully, I follow your blog and your hermit crab care is astounding so I was wondering if you could maybe run down the basics of their care and what I should potentially feed it? :)

Hedgehogs were my first love, so I’m usually pretty happy to talk about them! :) I’ve been a moderator on these forums for a number of years & joined back in 2009, shortly after I got my first hedgehog - http://www.hedgehogcentral.com/forums/ They’re not perfect, but I think there’s a fair amount of good information, especially for new owners.

The stickies (threads at the top of the forum section) have a lot of good basic information. Here are some of the really important ones to check out:

Health: Health FAQ section

Nutrition:Beginner Nutrition Guide

Advanced Nutrition Guide

Safe Treat List

Insect Guide

Fresh Food Guide

Raw/Home Cooked Diets

Enclosure & Toys:Heating Info

Enclosure Examples

Enrichment & Toys

Behavior:Behavior Expectations

Biting

Other:Traveling

HedgehogsofAsgard’s FAQs 

Hedgehog care tag on my blog

Common Misconceptions

Some more basic care info that may not be listed in above links:

Enclosure: Should be a minimum of 8 square feet. Solid floor, and solid walls up 8-10″, at least - they like to try & climb & can injure themselves in falls. Keep heating in mind - if you’re in a cold climate or keep your house cold, a vivarium is a better choice. Best to keep cages as one level, but if you want to use multiple levels, make sure ramps & second levels are enclosed. Hedgehogs have poor depth perception & will often walk right off an edge.

Temperature: Should be 73-80F (23-27C). Best to keep temperature relatively steady - some do okay with fluctuation, but drops over more than a couple degrees can cause a hibernation attempt in sensitive hogs. They can also become more temperature sensitive as they get older. They handle hotter temperatures better than cooler, but every hog is different. Typically best to start around 75-78F & adjust from there as you get to know your hedgie.

Heating: Do NOT use heating mats - space heater, CHE set up, or radiating heat panel (RHP). The third have not been used for hedgehogs much yet, but I hope to get one for Bindi at some point. More info on heating set ups in the link above.

Lighting: Not enough light can also cause hibernation attempts. They should have 12-14 hours during the daytime - don’t depend on daylight, as it gets too short in the winter & storms can make it too dark. Best to have a light for the cage or put a lamp near the cage. Timers help with keeping light schedule regular & eliminating the concern of forgetting to turn it on/off. No light on at night - it can discourage many hedgehogs from normal behavior.

Nutrition/feeding: This is mentioned in the links above, but to stress the point -  hedgehog foods are crap. Cat foods are not ideal, but the best option we currently have. Check out the Beginner Guide for specifics on protein, fat, and ingredients. The Advanced Guide goes a bit more in depth with ingredients, choosing brands, etc.

It’s really preferable to have insects included in their diet - they need more fiber than cats (insect exoskeletons) & the majority of their natural diet is insects/invertebrates. The US hedgehog community doesn’t tend to stress insects enough, really. If a hedgehog won’t eat them, it won’t kill them not to have them. But every effort should be made to include insects in their diet daily. 

Do a lot of research if you want to try out a home-cooked or raw/natural diet. There’s not a lot of specific info known for hedgehogs, but @hedgehogsofasgard has a great post on hedgehog nutrition in her FAQ & we’re working on getting more of a community going for English-speaking hedgehog owners who want to feed raw/natural diets. It’s already fairly common in some other European countries, like Germany, Russia, and I believe some others.

Grooming: Hedgehogs poop on their wheel, so usually need foot baths, sometimes even nightly. Just a half inch or of water to get their feet clean is fine. Full baths shouldn’t be given more than every other week or so - it dries out their skin & most hedgehogs don’t like water & are very distressed by baths. If they get dirty more often, you can use a warm wet cloth to wipe them down. For full baths, use an oatmeal-based body wash (not shampoo) if you need to use a soap of some kind.

Nails should be checked frequently & will need to be trimmed weekly or every other week. It can be difficult, so go slowly & be patient. Work at getting your hedgie used to having feet played with during your nightly bonding time by lightly grabbing, rubbing, and pulling them out to look at them. You can use cuticle scissors, regular human nail trimmers, baby nail trimmers, or pet nail trimmers - whichever is comfiest & easiest for you. Back nails typically grow faster, but front nails typically grow curved & should be watched carefully for curling so they don’t start to injure the paw pad. 

*** Do NOT use nail trim inserts on the wheel! Hedgehogs run on the pad of their foot - these inserts will rub their foot raw & do nothing for their nails. Inserts of any kind should not be used on hedgehog wheels due to the risk of getting tangled on their feet/legs - just wash the wheel daily or as often as needed to clean poop off it.

Bedding: Another area the US differs a lot on. Fleece/fabric liners are popular over here. They’re reusable, easy to change out & clean, look cute, and they don’t have a lot of safety risks. The biggest risk with them is if you have long hair - it clings to the fabric & hedgehogs can get hair wrapped around their legs (or penis, for males) & cut off circulation. But they don’t allow for digging, which is a major natural behavior. People try to accommodate this by giving dig boxes with natural substrate, fleece strips, craft pompom balls, etc., which some hedgehogs will use.

Other options include aspen or kiln-dried pine (risk of mites & getting caught in penile sheaths), paper bedding (minor risk of mites, can be dusty & cause dry skin & sneezing), or a naturalistic/bio-active set up. There’s more info on that last one in Hedgehogsofasgard’s FAQ link and also a FB group.

Vet Care: Be prepared for vet bills. Hedgehogs are notorious for racking up big vet bills. If you’re in the US, look into vet insurance - Nationwide is the only one that currently offers an exotics plan. It’s only about $8/month for a hedgehog, well worth it! Have a vet fund ready, with at least $500 in it. Also check into CareCredit, a credit card specifically for vet/health costs. High interest rate on charges less than $200, but 6+ month payment plans with no interest for amounts $200 & over, so it’s helpful for surgeries or expensive diagnostic tests like biopsies, x-rays, etc.

Have a vet located before you get your hedgehog. Exotic vets are harder to find & often more expensive. Find out how experienced they are - whether they’re just willing to see hedgehogs, but haven’t seen many or any, see hedgehogs a few times a year, or if they’re pretty well experienced. Less experience isn’t necessarily bad, but make sure they’ll be willing to work with you to find the best treatments & care for your hedgehog.

Those are most of the main topics I can think of. If there’s any major ones I missed, let me know and I can expand on it! :)

#hogblr #petblr #hedgehogs #hedgies #pet hedgehogs #hedgehog care #hedgehog caresheet #african pygmy hedgehogs #long post

[ficdirectory]

The Fosters: My Thoughts on Episode 3x15 "Minor Offenses"

Help Kids Like Me Find a Home They Deserve:  Wow, this whole PSA makes me super uncomfortable.  I can easily see how Callie would feel like this is a good thing and get caught up in it, not necessarily seeing the problem areas or realizing she is essentially being exploited.  She’s so proud of it, and wants Moms to be proud, too.

You’re Endorsing a Bill We Know Nothing About:  Yes, Stef.  Question that.

Wanting to Read the Bill That You’re Being Used to Support Is Not Being Suspicious, Callie.  It’s Being Smart:  Right, Stef?  I love that she doesn’t back down from these types of situations and can hold her ground with the kids, even post surgery.  And I love that it does not escape Moms at all that Callie IS being used.

After All The Nice Stuff You Guys Did For Me:  Again.  Family meeting (this time where AJ is apologizing for taking off with Ty) and Jesus is the only one not seated.  This time he’s standing.  It makes me sad to see AJ so sad, but I love that Mike encouraged him to do this.  And I love how Mariana tells Ty that “We get it.  Family is everything.”

That Was Really Brave/Which Part?  Ooh.  AJ’s not ready to forgive himself or Callie yet.

I Told You To Stay Away From Me:  The conversation Gabe and the construction guys are having here is so telling.  Gabe is telling them how slow work is and that it’s drying up for him.  He asks if everyone else is keeping busy.  When Jesus approaches, it’s all about the nonverbal communication: Gabe snags him by the front of the hoodie but Jesus won’t have it, and pulls away.

I Don’t Want Anything From You:  Jesus said this yesterday, but obviously he treasured that toolbelt.  Watching him throw it back at Gabe is so sad.  Also, this time on Shirt Watch - nothing of note.  BUT his necklace is some kind of shark tooth.  Feeling aggressive today, apparently.  :(

You Owe Me:  Um.  No, Nick.  Mariana does not owe you anything for postponing your fry date for two weeks because she was there for her mom while she recovered from surgery.  It hit me yesterday, after I watched Nick make the gross knee pad comment, just how much of Mariana and Jesus’s actions are due to the rejection of their bio parents.  Mariana has so little self worth that she says she’ll date Nick, and doesn’t seem concerned at all by him now saying she owes him.

It Could Be Perceived That We Are Also Funding Your Thesis, Which Is Against The Rules: Good catch, Lena.

Who Cares?/I Do!  I Care!  I’m loving that Mariana finds Jesus in some kind of art class where he’s sketching.  I wish I could make out what exactly he’s drawing but it looks like some kind of tunnel or darkness surrounding whatever the details are in the middle.  I like that Mariana’s aware that Jesus missed first period and that she pushes to know where he went.  He keeps so much in that it’s only with a push from Mariana that Jesus admits to going to give Gabe the tool belt back because he didn’t want it anymore, and because he wanted Gabe to know that Jesus knew what he did.

You Know They’re Really Proud of You, Right?/I Guess.  They’re So Annoying:  Hahaha!  I’m with Rita.  I love that Callie is comfortable enough to voice her real feelings now instead of keeping so much in.  I also love that Rita doesn’t hesitate to tell Callie what she knows about Justina and the foster care reform bill.

Is Everything Okay?  I think Stef’s trying to ask you why you’re changing clothes behind a door, Lena…

This Is Not Me Giving You a Parental Warning That You Can Just Ignore.  I Want to Hear You Say Yes:  Love that Mariana knows when to go to Moms, and tell them what’s going on with Jesus and Gabe.  And what she found out regarding him being on the registry.  I love that Stef makes sure to speak to both of them about how serious it is, and that it is a private conversation in Moms’ room, and the other kids aren’t in on it.  I also love the picture of Mariana and Jesus on Moms’ dresser <3

I’m Taking Your Sister Out Tonight/That’s Impossible.  We Have This No Dating Each Other’s Friends Policy That SHE Made:  Yeah...not a fan of those double-standards, Jesus?  Neither am I.

We’re Going to Be Late to Pick Up Lexi/Oh!  A Double-Date!  That Sounds Good:  Not to Mariana, it doesn’t.  And looks like Jesus has given Nick all the WRONG advice as to how to impress her.  Starting with that hideous hat.

This All Just Blows Up The System/Because It Needs To Be Blown Up:  Well...that’s really comforting, Justina.  I am glad to know Callie read the bill and that red flags went up for her.  

I Threw Up a Couple Times/That Kinda Makes Your Dad Sound Like a Jerk:  The first real insight we have into Nick’s personal life, and it’s not reassuring.  

When I First Came To Live Here, You Told Me I Wasn’t Disposable.  So Why Is Ty?  Why, indeed.  And of course Callie would remember being told that by Stef. It was likely the first time since she’d been in the system that someone told her anything like that.  I love that she doesn’t hesitate to stand up for Ty.

Get Back In The Car?/Screw You!  You Wanna Kill Somebody?  It Ain’t Gonna Be Us:  YES LADIES!  Jesus, goading Nick into drag racing is not your finest moment.  You need to find another outlet for your pain.

You Know What’s Better Than a Knife?  A Spoon!  I was fastforwarding through all the Brandon and Cortney but stopped a little short and heard Brandon say this to Mason, LOL.

If I Had Had The Experiences He Has With the Justice System…  I’m so glad Stef went to court to speak on Ty’s behalf.

All Thanks to Monte!/Are You Gonna Dig The Holes For Her, Too?  This Is Totally Inappropriate:  Right, Lena?  Monte needs to step back from her overinvolvement with Sally and her senior project.

Have a Seat:  And even talking with Mariana, Moms and Ana, Jesus does not want to sit down.  When Stef insists, Jesus sits on the step right at the periphery of the room, away from everyone.

I Didn’t Want You Guys to Know You Came From a Junkie and a Drug Dealer.  I Didn’t Want That To Be Your Story:  I feel like there is SO MUCH TRUTH in what Ana says here.  And how many parents don’t tell kids the truth to spare them.  According to Jesus and Mariana’s faces, though, I think the truth is always preferable, from a kid’s point of view.

Since When Do You Turn Away to Change Your Clothes/I Feel a Little Guilty:  I love these real conversations between Stef and Lena.  Dealing with real issues after a traumatic surgery that really altered Stef’s body.  I love that Stef can reassure Lena that she is okay.

I Can Feel You Right There.  For The Record, You’re Not What Makes Me Feel Worse, You’re What Makes Me Feel Better:  SO BEAUTIFUL, STEF!  I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU <3

Why Wouldn’t You See Me In Juvie/I Was Embarrassed:  I love this insight into AJ.  

I’m Not Your Father and I Never Will Be:  No matter what - no matter how they hurt us - we will always keep coming back to our parents - asking them to love us.  Hoping that they will.  Even if they’ve proven that’s not something they can do.  That rejection runs so deep in adopted kids, and I’m so glad to see it portrayed on screen in a way that feels so honoring and real.  And I’m sorry for Jesus that just keeps getting rejected over and over. :(

For more: Fosters Recaps

#the fosters #3x15 #minor offenses

[acuppellarp]

We’re excited to announce that Aly has decided to level up Charlie Myers from a mumu minor character to a main character! Please go through the checklist to make sure you’re ready to go and send in your account within the next 24 hours. 

OOC INFO

Name + pronouns: Aly + She/Her. Age: 27. Timezone: GMT. Ships: Charlie/Chemistry. Anti-Ships: Charlie/Forced.

IC INFO

Full Name: Charlotte “Charlie” Elizabeth Myers. Face Claim: Anna Kendrick. Age/Birthday: 27/May 9th. Occupation: Tabloid Journalist for Us Weekly. Personality: Cynical, Determined, Guarded, Hardworking, Reliable. Hometown: Athens, Georgia. Bio:

Charlotte Myers was definitely born into the wrong family. The youngest of two daughters, there was a lot of pressure put on both Charlotte and her older sister, Alexandra, to be perfect. The Myers family have money, and they very much like to flaunt it, but that’s not Charlotte at all. Unlike her parents, Charlotte – who hates her name, and much prefers to go by the shortened version of Charlie – is very much low-key. She doesn’t like attention, nor does she care for big, flashy items. She much prefers to lay low and do everything under the radar, with her parents often joking that she must not actually be their daughter. It really is a joke, though, and it’s not to say that the Myers’ don’t adore their daughter and she them in return, it’s just that they don’t really see eye to eye, that’s all. They don’t understand each other, and Charlie gave up on trying to a long time ago.

Put through the best private education money could buy, it was always expected of Charlie to do something great with her life. She was supposed to cure cancer, or at the very least own her own company that would someday become its own bright, shining empire, but that was never her goal. Her parents were okay with the idea of her pursuing a career in music, because to anybody who has ever heard her sing or produce her own tracks, it’s clear that she has a great talent. At least, that’s the case to all but one, anyway. Charlie chose to go to college in New York, studying Music Production, and interned with a big name music producer throughout her sophomore year. She showed him demos of her original tracks, and he basically told her she sucked. Of course, that’s just one person’s opinion, but already not the most confident of people, Charlie took his word as law, and decided that if he thought she was no good, then she really wasn’t.

Although she continued to write and produce music in her spare time, she refused to let anybody else hear it from then on, even changing her major to Communications in pursuit of a career in journalism instead. She figured that if she couldn’t produce music, she could at least write about it. However, that turned out not to be the case, and her parents really weren’t all too happy with her path. Writing for a tabloid magazine was definitely not the grand career they’d envisioned for their youngest daughter, but Charlie has always been the kind of person to do what she wants to do, so once her mind was set, that was that. She interned with Us Weekly throughout her remaining college years, wanting the experience to then move on to write for a music based magazine, though when graduation rolled around and Charlie was offered a permanent, full-time position at the magazine, she was comfortable enough not to turn it down.

It wasn’t like she particularly needed the money, she could’ve gone back home and let her parents fund her life for her, but that was never going to be Charlie. She would never rely on other people that way, even if those other people were her parents. It’s both a blessing and a curse really, how independent of a person she is. On one hand, it’s obviously a good thing, since she can live her own life and do what she needs to do for herself, but on the other, it’s difficult for her to accept help, even when she really needs it. She would rather struggle her way through any situation or scenario than reach out for somebody to help her through it, and when it’s offered out to her, she’s hesitant to take it. She has never fully understood why, that’s just the way she is.

Although she may not be the most outwardly enthusiastic of people, therefore it’s hard to tell when she’s really into something, Charlie does actually adore her life in the city. It’s fast paced and it’s busy, which may not seem like her kind of thing, but it works for her. It’s a good place for her to fly under the radar, and she’s able to keep to herself, because everybody else is doing the same thing. She can afford the rent for her own place, but she doesn’t necessarily want to do that, so Charlie currently shares an apartment with a roommate, someone who knows that she may not always be the most sociable of people and does like her own space, but the two of course get along well enough to choose to live together.

By now, Charlie is an old hand at her job, to the point where it’s actually kind of boring. She spends most of her time interviewing people, up-and-coming celebrities generally her speciality (not through her own choice), and although it’s comfortable and it’s easy for her, it definitely lacks any real excitement. In her spare time, she still likes to write her own music, and to mash together songs to create a whole new beat of her own. If she was to do it all over again, that would be the career path she’d follow, but her confidence has been shaken entirely ever since her one bad experience with the producer back in her college years, so Charlie is convinced that she isn’t good enough to do what she really wants to do. She’s happy to just coast along and get by with her current job and her current lifestyle, and to stay as out of the way as possible.

Pets: None. Relationships:

Luciana Muñoz – Roommate. Although Charlie could afford to live alone, she chooses to live with a roommate. It forces social interaction, and considering how well she gets along with Luci, she actually enjoys it. The other girl knows she likes to keep to herself and enjoys her own company from time to time, which fortunately isn’t a problem for them, and their living arrangement works for both of them.

Lola Alvarez – Best friend. Charlie doesn’t trust many people easily, and she opens up to even less of them, but Lola just happens to be one of those people. They see eye to eye, and Charlie knows she can trust the other girl with her life. If she has a problem, or a secret she needs to share, Lola is the one she’ll spill it to.

Blair Anderson – Maybe something. These two met through ACup, and while they both wound up harboring crushes for each other, neither has ever dared to let the other one know, because they’re afraid of the feeling not being mutual. They recently went to ACup prom together, though Charlie doesn’t know whether Blair considered that a ‘real’ date or not, so things are currently a little up in the air.

April’s Showers – Midfielder. Charlie is generally pretty athletic, and likes to keep herself in good shape. She’ll generally work out alone, though her more sociable activity is soccer. For someone who can be such a loner, she actually enjoys being apart of the team, and it helps her to branch out and actually do something outside of work, rather than moping around on her own all day.

EXTRA INFO

[ This is for the masterlist, but also a fun little way to get to know your character! ]

Charlie Myers/@myerscharlie/description: 🎧

Five latest tweets:

@myerscharlie: A note to whoever makes my discover playlist at @Spotify, I’m sorry. @myerscharlie: [ pic tweet ] @myerscharlie: No, my dad is not Michael Myers, but you’re hilarious and original. Honestly. @myerscharlie: I’m not mad at you, this is just my face. Thank you for pointing it out, though. @myerscharlie: Hi 911? Yeah, I think I’m shrinking. #sendhelp

#accepted #acup: level up