#i cannot express how much I love this arc so far

[bardinthezone]

Night Vale and the Power of Stories

So I’ve been losing my mind about this latest arc. Full hyperfixation. Studying for finals? Calling my parents? Enjoying other hobbies? Eating?? Who’s she, never heard of her. There is only the “#wtnv spoilers” tag.

Anyways, inspired primarily by this post, this post, and this post, I have been thinking about Night Vale as a place of stories.

Night Vale is a deeply weird place. It is a place where all the crazy conspiracies and contradictions and creepy crawlies can coexist (try saying that 5 times fast), and it is built on stories.

We know from “109: A Story About Huntokar” that Huntokar singlehandedly saved the town from nuclear destruction in 1983. This in and of itself is beautiful, tragic, terrifying and wonderful (I could write a whole essay on the lasting effects of the Cold War on the American psyche and how that’s impacted our media, but that’s not what this post is about). But what Huntokar says in describing this moment is fascinating: “ The people of Night Vale huddled, waiting for the end to their story.” The use of the word “story” here is so poignant and poetic. This was her town, a narrative she had lovingly followed since its inception, with an ever rotating cast of characters, finally seeming as though it would come to an end. And yet she managed to continue their story. The people of Night Vale, of every alternate universe Night Vale, are kept alive because Huntokar wanted to keep the narrative going. It is a town kept alive-- inverted and shattered and bizarre, but alive-- because someone saw the tale coming to an end and wasn’t satisfied with that. Night Vale is a place of stories.

And Cecil. Cecil Gershwin-Palmer is such a wonderful enigma. He’s a deeply troubled man, he’s the town’s beloved radio host, he is the voice of Night Vale. As the town’s only (?) regular source of news, he carries incredible weight in shaping the public’s perception of reality. It is his radio show that keeps the people informed through all of these earth-shattering events-- it is Cecil who, for as goofy and cringefail (thank you @bigcommunist for that phrase) as he can be, has been responsible for keeping his citizens safe. In “227: A Word With Dr. Jones,” Dr. Janet Lubelle notes that one of his traits is “town leadership.” When Cecil speaks, things happen. He rallies the people, against Strexcorp or the Beagle Puppy or Steve Carlsberg and his dry, dry scones. Hell, he says “weather” and everyone stops, or sometimes (Like in “204: Audition”) it literally saves his life. @lostboywriting raises a fascinating theory about Cecil having inadvertently brought the Faceless Old Woman into existence through his repression of his complicated relationship with his mother-- and while this contradicts with the backstory presented in "The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives Inside Your Home," who’s to say that both origins can’t be true, with how splintered and fractured Night Vale’s existence (and especially relation to time) is? Perhaps Cecil, as the Voice Of Night Vale, is capable of changing the world more than he knows.

Either way, this is why Dr. Lubelle’s Explaining of the town has so much of a tangible effect on it-- because she’s coming in and using something “empirical” to change the narrative. That is why she’s so threatening-- because how do you argue with the facts? How do you argue with science? She is using logic to insist that her reality is right, that these stories and poetics used to keep the town alive are meaningless. That it would be better for them to not exist than to exist outside her narrative. She said it herself-- she cannot imagine that anyone thinks differently to herself about anything, and she is all to happy to provide any who disagrees with an Explanation. No matter the cost.

In 227, Cecil remarks that “Science is not good or bad, as language is not good or bad, as religion is not good or bad, because humans are not inherently good or bad.” This sets up a fascinating play between science, language, and religion that I think is perfectly encapsulated by Dr. Lubelle, representing science, Cecil, representing language, and Huntokar, representing religion. Whether she knows it or not, Dr. Lubelle is directly undoing all of the hard work of Huntokar, and attempting to use Cecil as the most powerful tool at her disposal.

And this works in conjunction with my distinction of the What vs. the Why. We can take the incursion point of November 7th, 1983, and view it through both lenses. From Huntokar’s perspective, we get the Why: Night Vale was in danger, and it needed saving, so she saved it. But from Dr Lubelle’s perspective, we just get the What: Night Vale was the target of a nuclear missile. Nuclear missiles are unstoppable by any force known to science. This is a town that should have been empty for 40 years.

I posit a world in which Dr. Lubelle reduces Night Vale to what it “should be:” A town ruined by nuclear destruction. The empirical facts, the anchors that held Night Vale down to reality, the threads that Huntokar broke-- Dr. Lubelle is seeking to tie them back together. And with the Voice of Night Vale on her side, Explained and ready to share the Truth, of course she can make that happen. Perhaps Huntokar takes center stage again to show that science is not the end-all-be-all. Perhaps Carlos steps in to replace Dr. Lubelle as the Scientist in this equation, to provide a good alternative to her callous methods. 

Or I could be totally off-base with that prediction. I imagine the bodies being dug up in the sand wastes and the murals of flesh will play a major role in the finale. Maybe she’ll uncover the splintered realities of Night Vale and won’t know how to explain them away. Hell, people keep hyping up a Desert Bluffs return, what with the Sandstorm tapes and the talk of doubles-- Maybe Kevin and Lauren will be the “religion” in the triumvirate, and drive Dr. Lubelle mad with their unrelenting fervor. Who knows? I have my theories, but I’m just excited to see where this all goes.

.

Also from a meta perspective, this is 100% harkening back to all those early-days fan theories that “Night Vale is a normal town and Cecil is just off his rocker” (Thanks @maxgicalgirl for that one!). Welcome To Night Vale is a show that has never been about continuity and tight lore-- it’s about spinning a fun narrative, it’s about the poetry, the music, the aesthetics; it’s about everything that Dr. Lubelle HATES. From a meta perspective, Dr. Lubelle is every theorist who tries to ruin the magic of a story, who nitpicks it endlessly because it doesn’t adhere to how the “real world” functions. She doesn’t care about why story elements are included, she just needs what’s included to adhere to her worldview. And I can’t wait to see her get taken down, no matter how it happens.

Thanks again to @maxgicalgirl, @lostboywriting, @eclipse-song​, and everyone who’s been sharing their thoughts about the latest arc on tumblr. I would not be writing this without y’all!!

#im sorry to everyone who says shes hot but shes basically a colonizer #''im new to your community but your culture is backwards and wrong'' #''let me fix it with my superior science and reasoning'' #shes so evil i hate her /pos #finknor wrote her so well #and janet varney is an incredible VA #i cannot express how much I love this arc so far #i really hope we get more on the 1983 storyline because that is just positively fascinating #a town that should have died long ago #that should have been reduced to ashes #and yet here they are #lubelle would fucking hate that if she found out #also WHATS GONNA HAPPEN TO EVERYONE WHO GETS EXPLAINED??? #cause if cecil is getting explained i dont think itll be permanent #but #ough its just so GOOD #also carlos. my man. where are you. when are you gonna show yourself #when will we get to know your tragic backstory cause there is SOMETHING going on there #i swear she was just trying to get to carlos and the rest of the town was an added bonus #wtnv spoilers #wtnv 227 #wtnv #welcome to night vale #welcome to night vale spoilers #cecil gershwin palmer #dr janet lubelle #uowii #huntokar

[raayllum]

More Than Anyone or Anything

or why I think Callum is Like That: The Meta.

AKA because I realized that while I've talked about Snake Boi Callum and why I view him that way before, it was mostly in regards to explaining his canon traits that aren't usually very disputed. These being:

His sometimes obsessively dangerous qualities, specifically surrounding magic (1x04, 1x05, 2x04, 4x01, 4x02, 4x04)

His ambitious side (man heard from the one magical 'expert' he knows that humans just flat out cannot do primal magic naturally, said fuck that, and got it in a week after one week of practice)

His temper (1x01, 1x06, 1x09, 2x07, 3x08, 4x01-4x04, 5x01, 5x05, 5x08)

His ruthlessness (turning on Viren the second Ezran is in danger despite trusting him for years beforehand; his attitude towards Claudia in 2x07 after she's likewise betrayed him; smiling when killing corrupted soldiers in 3x09 even when Ezran expresses grief and Janai expresses horror when she was facing a similar scenario during the timeskip; arguing to take the violent route in 5x05 whereas Ezran and Rayla pick the more preventative one).

Therefore, for this meta, I will be focusing specifically on why I interpret Callum as Selectively Loyal to the point of being willing to help free Aaravos in order to spare, specifically, Ezran and Rayla's lives (and not necessarily anyone else's, such as Zym and Soren).

Strap in boys — this is going to be a long one.

Disclaimers: As always, this is just my opinion, and an interpretation being popular in fanon does not automatically mean it's better or more valid / rooted in canon than any other kind of (less popular? maybe common) interpretation. I will also be making it clear when I'm drawing on sections/snippets from supplementary material (TDP short stories, novelizations, and Tales of Xadia) but give that it's supplementary material, feel free to take it with the ultimate grain of salt.

Related Metas (that's worth reading if you're interested in other Snake Boi aspects that are not going to be heavily touched on here):

Callum's temper (S1-S3) and how it links to him typically feeling helpless to fix/aid his loved ones, causing him to lash out even sometimes at them

How Callum operates differently from Ezran and Rayla (S1-S4), but very well embodied I believe by the scene in 5x05 where Ez and Rayla side with the "violence as a last resort" option and Callum does not

How Callum views Zym and the egg in Arc 1 differently from Ez and Rayla, or how Callum sees things as tools and why he gets fixated on / what he projects onto objects (much like Viren with the mirror)

Differing Priorities for Callum and Rayla in TTM, in which Rayla only engages in their scheming because she thinks Viren is a threat to the whole world, and Callum comes up with their scheme because he just wants to give her closure

What does the Trio's Tales of Xadia's bios actually mean? (this one will be touched on the most down below, so feel free to skip unless you want a more detailed refresher)

Specifications:

If you're someone who doesn't see Callum this way, but you're genuinely interested in reading a differing perspective, please read on. If you're someone who doesn't necessarily see Callum this way, but you're curious and/or on the fence, please read on. If you'd like to add your own thoughts to this post, feel free to add on if it's in support; if it's differentiation, please make your own post (I'll engage respectfully with if it I want to).

If you're someone who is only going to get upset with my viewpoint, please curate your internet experience and do not read this post. If you're only going to make thinly veiled meta rebuttals of this post in a rude way ("even though some people may think...", linking to this post, general assholery), please do not read this post. You would be far happier if you were less obsessed with an opinion I've held for 5+ years and months & months before you likely joined the fandom. i just want to chill in my corner, please do not chuck pillows at me for doing what I've always had a good time doing that doesn't hurt anyone.

With all of that out of the way, let's get into it

What do I mean when I say selective loyalty?

Loyalty has always been an interesting trait to me, simply because in the bulk of storytelling, it is a necessary character trait for a story to function. One of the biggest things that a character can do to be disliked is be a traitor towards someone that trusted them, and if a character is too disloyal, they can be hard to engage with due to a lack of consistency. Characters who start out loyal to no one/nothing inevitably have arcs, provided they stick around in the story long enough, of garnering loyalty for someone (usually found family loved ones > a cause) in order for them to be able to progress as a character. We want characters to bond, and we want them to be there for each other, and if they're not at all, we want to see what happened or what other bonds they might form with other people. If not loyal, we want to see why they're working with someone at the very least.

Therefore, everyone in real life or in fiction has some elements of 'selective loyalty,' since we all have people (the people we know and love) we are more loyal to, fundamentally, than others (strangers / people don't know at all). It's just a natural normal thing to adhere more to valuing and looking after the people in your immediate circles over people you don't know at all, even if that doesn't mean we're void of caring about strangers, either. Our empathy or compassion, as well as the social structure of our living units and lives, are more cohesion for caring for strangers than it is for competing with strangers or being wholly indifferent.

For a quick overview of the way selective loyalty can work, I'm actually going to talk about Claudia quickly, and her internal hierarchy. While she is loyal to the princes ("Their Dad is dead and you lied about it. Plus they're our friends. It's wrong") to the point of that possibly being an opportunity for severance, initially, with her father ("Careful, if you tell the truth you will lose her"), Claudia's loyalty to her father ultimately trumps her loyalty to the princes, and even to her family with Soren.

For the opposite approach of selective loyalty, I'm going to talk about Rayla, who regularly bails out strangers (the boys in 1x03, Phyrrah in 2x07) and enemies (Bait as a frenemy in 1x05, Nyx in 3x05) as well as the people she grows to love (the boys on regular intervals). She and Runaan, as is Soren, are all willing to put their perceived missions/duties not only above but in direct opposition to their familial loyalty / family ties.

Callum, TO ME, is not, and here's why.

When I say that Callum is selectively loyal, I mean that there is ultimately nothing he will put above Ezran and/or Rayla at any interval with very few exceptions (aka if they're still breathing, he's still going to be fighting for them). This is for a few reasons.

I'm going to talk more about why it's Ez and Rayla specifically later, but for now I want to talk briefly about how they factor into his decision making and what see of them from people who have lost his loyalty.

Despite knowing and having trusted Viren for the bulk of his life ("Claudia! Lord Viren! Anyone!"), as soon as Callum learns that Viren has put Ezran substantially at risk ("Two [targets]? What do you mean?" "I'm here for the king, and I'm also here for his son, Prince Ezran") Viren is fucking Dead To Him.

It's not just that Viren lied, it's that Viren's lies and choices put Ezran in danger, and that's just not acceptable. We see this happen again with Claudia in S2, even after Callum defending her and trying to give her chances. She lied, yes, but she scares Ezran and attacks Rayla again, and that's the breaking point.

When you threaten the people he loves, when you scare them, if he trusted you, he will never look at you the same way again. Any loyalty he felt towards you will snap and snap hard, permanently, like a wishbone.

Callum loves and cares for other people. He loved and cared for Viren and Claudia. But unlike Ezran, who is willing to give Claudia a chance in 3x09 to the point of running after her, helping hand extended, and unlike Rayla, who still adamantly loves Runaan even after their fight and with no hint of change from him, Callum does not take other people hurting his family lightly, at all.

He loves and cares for Amaya, and Soren, and Harrow. But even Harrow, his father, is someone he's willing to put on the backburner — despite having an offered chance from Rayla to save him — in order to do what Harrow asked and what Callum's first instinct is: to look after his brother, because it is fundamentally unsafe for Ezran to stay at the castle for any longer, and he knows it.

Callum knows what the egg might mean, but he does not follow Rayla out the dungeon door blindly. He runs only after Ezran does, and only after Claudia might hit Ezran with lightning. Then he acts. Then he makes a choice. Because his loyalty to his brother outweighs after other substantial relationship in his life, at this point, but it doesn't necessarily stay that way.

Inner circle

In Tales of Xadia, all the characters are given values. While the values have more generic explanations (i.e. Callum's highest one, Liberty, is labelled as, "Have you ever resisted the control of others? This value is about freedom and autonomy. You’re motivated by a world without oppression or suppression") the characters individual bios help offer more clarity on their specifics. Callum's, specifically, states, "I am beholden to my inner circle, not some silly kingdom." Ouch, from Katolis' crown prince and Ezran's heir apparent.

It is, of course, important to not take this trait entirely literally. If Callum truly valued his own personal autonomy over everything else, he would've taken Finnegrin's deal in 5x08 in a second if all he wanted as his own freedom. Instead, Callum's highest value being Liberty is far more about his place with Freedom as a Theme more than something he wholly actively desires; again, we see in 5x08 he's willing to risk more of his freedom by doing dark magic in order to save Rayla.

There are things that Callum values more than his own personal freedom and there are things that he values more than magic (2x04: "Callum, you're being an idiot! Why would you do that? You can't risk your life to learn magic") vs throwing himself off the top of the Storm Spire at the slimmest chance of, once again, saving Rayla.

That said, this value and quote is still very useful, as it does then, beg the question, of who exactly is Callum's inner circle? Well...

Ezran and Rayla are the most important people in the entire world to him. Full stop. There is nothing he will fundamentally put above them. He only stays behind in 1x06, thereby not sacrificing the egg by proxy, because Rayla points out "We'll need to be up here to pull [Ezran] out." Even when he was stressing about whether they'd gotten to the Sea of the Cast Out on time, the second Rayla showed a hint of major discomfort/potential self-deprecation, he was offering to get back into the goddamn boat to comfort her ("I'm getting out—" "No. I can't do it, but you have to"). He's hesitant to go into town to find a vet for the egg because "We will definitely find some elf hating humans," pouting further when Rayla brushes him off, and flings himself off his balcony when he thinks there's even a chance that Ezran isn't okay into what he knows would subsequently be a trap. He's the first to say that they need to leave Rex Igneous' chambers after protecting Ezran from falling rocks with his own body, and the last to actually leave, almost being crushed by rocks himself because he's so committed to standing there and watching Rayla leave.

He equates Rayla's love for him with his love for Ezran on Day Nine (2x03: "I couldn't tell him. And I understand why you couldn't tell me. When you care about someone, it's hard to hurt them. Even when what you're saying is the truth.")

Hell, he even forgets that Sol Regem is there in 3x01 because he tunnel visions on Rayla needing his help so intensely she has to point out the massive ton dragon actively trying to kill them to him.

He's a nurturer, a fixer, a solution seeking. He wants to make you feel better ("See it's working right? Don't you feel a little better?"), he is a kind reassuring word ("Don't be so hard on yourself, Ez") always, he thinks of your problems even when you don't (Rayla's binding in 1x07), he will lay his life down for you without question ("I am Prince Ezran"), he will get mad at you for treating yourself poorly (3x04, like almost all of S4), he dotes, he notices, he will compromise his beliefs for you ("Could he really bring himself to go through with his plan? What if he didn’t succeed? What if he compromised his beliefs and it was all for nothing? [...] But Rayla was in trouble"—S2 novelization).

You mean everything to him: "Rayla's strong, thin arms wrapped around him meant everything" (S2 novelization of the hug scene in 2x04) / "You're my brother, and you mean everything to me" (2x06).

You are his whole world.

If you're part of his inner circle, and not everybody is, so let's talk about it.

[ Callum, excluding Claudia and Soren from their support system, even though the siblings haven't yet betrayed them, while including Rayla, even though he and she haven't made up yet. ]

What about Soren and Zym?

As stated before, Callum's selective loyalty does not mean he doesn't care about other people in his life, such as Claudia (in the past) and people like Amaya, Soren, and Zym in the present. Merely that, slightly like Claudia, Callum does have an internal hierarchy of care — the way you might have friends vs best friends — of who takes priority, and we see S1, S4, and S5 in particular demonstrate this quite well.

As already stated, Callum prioritizes Ezran over the egg in 1x06 and is held back emotionally by Ezran fuelled logic and physically by Rayla. In 1x07, he doesn't want to risk going into town — even to potentially find help for the egg — because of his last disastrous experience with humans and Rayla. In 2x04, Callum is perfectly happy to walk around a sea to let Rayla avoid her fear of water, and approximately 5 minutes later is getting on Ez and Rayla's case for goofing off (with Rayla's thinly veiled and fallible disguise) because "Sometimes getting someplace slightly faster is important, like right now." Wasn't quite the tune he was singing earlier, now was it? For Zym, we see this again in 3x04 — Rayla is having a breakdown, so she has more of an excuse, but Callum should conceivably be much more clear headed, and he still tunnel visions into leaving Zym alone with Nyx leading to the theft. Likewise in 4x07 when the group thinks Zym might be gone, Ezran is the one who states, "I'm not leaving without him," and Ez and Rayla are both pretty broken up about it; Callum is sad, for sure, but he mostly focuses on taking care of Ezran and placing a hand on his shoulder.

Then you have Amaya, who Callum loves dearly, but isn't particularly torn up over not trusting or lying to (1x04, 5x03) in spite of being close to her, and isn't as vexed even when he thinks that maybe something bad has happened.

Even when Callum thinks it was bad, and potentially very bad ("The way Gren was talking, I thought maybe the world was ending or something!") he doesn't get angry and he doesn't get demanding. This is very different from how he responds to Ezran and Rayla being potentially in danger or just in trouble.

Which on that note also highlights another key importance between how Callum treats Rayla, in particular, versus how he treats Soren. Now, you could argue that Callum in 5x01 has emotionally matured/healed further than he has in 4x01 prior to Rayla's return, and that would be perfectly fine to do. However, it doesn't change the fact that just the hint of Soren keeping a secret — even before Callum thinks, at all, that it's about Ezran — makes him wait on the battlements to coldly and sternly interrogate Soren about it. With Soren, he demands,

C: I know this — the ties are true as the ocean is deep [...] It means I trust her. Unconditionally. Let her go. Now. R: About your key and the bow. I can explain. C: No, I meant what I said. You don't have to explain or justify anything to me.

Even when Rayla engages in actually shady behaviour — omitting the truth if not outright lying, stealing his key, and retrieving a painfully poignant weapon — Callum doesn't get mad, at all. Soren just implied he was potentially keeping a secret from Callum at the council meeting and lowkey got his ass handed to him, with Callum literally shoving him out of his way and needing Corvus' help to coral the angry step-mage.

Furthermore, even when Soren goes missing in 4x06, although concerned, Rayla is by far the most broken up about it. Ezran is optimistic because he's, well, Ezran; Rayla is torn because even though she doesn't know Soren that well, she feels like it was 100% her fault he's gone missing and has possibly gotten hurt; and Callum, well... mostly focuses about how she feels about it, and less so about his actual friend (because if Ezran or Rayla are emotionally hurting, they will take priority to him). He's focused on making sure she feels better.

Again: Callum loves Amaya, and Zym, and Soren. He loves them dearly. He wants to and does protect them. He can and will take care of them. But push come to shove, they're not in his inner circle — he doesn't trust them the same way, and he doesn't focus on them the same way, because when it comes to his inner circle, he loves them

More Than Anyone or Anything

So after seeing Callum like this from S1 onwards, you can imagine I was pretty thrilled upon opening up his bio in Tales of Xadia — which seems to be the most 'canon' of the supplementary materials thus far (scenes and ages are changed in the novelizations; timelines get a little wonky in the prequel graphic novels; some designs from "Callum's Spellbook" ended up being different; the art book is full of beautiful concepts, of course, that never understandably got off the ground) except perhaps for Though the Moon — said the quiet part out loud. Not only does TOX have plenty of lore drops and hints at future arcs that are coming to fruition (Aaravos' connections to Elarion, mentioning the Great Bookery of Lux Aurea and Leola, etc) but they did something very interesting when it came to what values which character had. There's some leeway as this is very much an Arc 1 reading (probably most clearly seen in Soren's bio) but there is still plenty of bleed over into Arc 2.

Now, as I said before, we don't want to take the Values too literally. As talked about previously, a lot of the characters highest values seem to be things their arcs are set up to thematically test rather than being a 1:1 what they value the most. But I feel like you can glean a good deal from them, so let's look at the trio:

EZRAN:

Justice — 10: I expect the best of people and try not to become an agent of cruelty.

Devotion — 8: All creatures—regardless of origin—deserve love and appreciation.

Liberty — 8: I value the liberty of everyone, sometimes even more than my own.

RAYLA:

Devotion — 10: Love and devotion compel and define me.

Justice — 8: At great personal cost I will strive for what’s right.

Liberty — 8: My only allegiance is to my heart and those who know it.

CALLUM:

Liberty — 10: I’m beholden to my inner circle, not some silly kingdom.

Devotion — 8: I value those close to me more than anyone or anything.

Mastery — 8: I aspire to know the great wonders of every primal magic.

Out of all the more 'heroic' characters listed in the handbook (Amaya, Janai, Aanya) only Callum and Lujanne do not have Justice, "Have you ever been compelled to fix what’s wrong? This value is about balance, virtue, and reward. You’re motivated by adherence to fairness and what you think is right" among their top 3. Each have it at a 6, instead, which the guide labels as, "This matters, but so do many things" and is the second lowest ranking a value can have. None of the main cast have any value at the highest ranking, 12, either, to help indicate scale perhaps.

Devotion, then, is the one we're currently the most interested in for Callum, since as said before, while the general value descriptions are useful, the specific ones help show more indication. Devotion is referred to in Tales of Xadia as, "Have you ever been obligated to others? This value is about duty, faith, and friendship. You’re motivated by the bonds of loyalty and your love for others."

Although devotion is Rayla's highest value, her devotion value makes no indication of who/what she is Devoted to. Whereas Ezran's reflects his deep love and appreciation towards animals (hence saving the baby glow toads in S5) and Callum's we'll get to in a moment, Rayla's we're not privy to. Instead, we can look at her Liberty value, as it states that her allegiance is to her heart ("My heart for Xadia") and to her loved ones (her friends, her family). Much of her arc is therefore feeling torn between what she thinks/feels her duty is versus what her heart is telling her, indicated by her letting Marcos go in 1x01 and the subsequent fallout.

We can also see her state this more clearly in Through the Moon, in which Callum is the one primarily concerned with her parents ("he’s stuck worrying about her parents. About what happened to Runaan. She can’t move on, not without knowing the truth of what happened [...] I hope you find your parents. And Runaan"), versus Rayla going along with the plan, "Callum, listen. Soren was worried about Viren too. Worried that we never found a body. We need to know what happened to Viren. He’s a threat to the whole world! This might be the only way to be sure he’s actually gone! [Upon entering the Portal...] Okay. Viren. My parents. Runaan" and then 5x01 spells it out even more directly.

R: Callum and Ezran need me. A great evil is trying to return to Xadia and we have to stop it, at any cost. I think this is what you would want me to do. I love you, and I haven't forgotten about you. I never will. [...] It hurts me to know they're trapped like this. It's agonizing. But our mission comes first. The world is in danger, and you can trust me to stay focused.

Now this makes sense, as Rayla having this push and pull has not only been a defining feature of her arc most seasons, but is ultimately what's going to be the most challenged when the Callum possession plotline rears its head. Does she kill/incapacitate the man she loves in order to protect the world, or does she fight to get him back no matter what, even if that may lead to ruin and chaos? (I'm hoping for the second one, but I will eat either up, lemme tell you.) Does she finally refuse to sacrifice, or does she barrel on hoping she'll only have to sacrifice herself?

The reason I bring Rayla up at all is because I think it provides a good contrast to how Callum operates, specifically in 5x04, in which case he reaffirms his devotion ("I would do anything for you") and then risks everyone's lives by staying late at the Great Bookery, even when Rayla says three times that well, this isn't the time: "Not yet, Callum... Believe me, I want to do something, but... Callum, we need to leave!"

Rayla cares about everyone, and is willing to risk her life for enemies and for strangers. She will abandon her mission for the world in favour of looking after individuals because they need help, regardless of what it asks of her: "Live or die, this dragon goes home." (And because she believes Ezran and Callum can accomplish the mission without her, but that's a post for another day.) As Bloodmoon Huntress makes explicit, as Ethari says:

Who I love, where I love, what I love, are all specific. But to Runaan and those like your parents... love is rooted in all families, all creatures. Souls like that feel called to protect everyone as fiercely as those they hold close. Each time Runaan leaves, it is with the weight of knowing that he may not come back. That to fulfil his duty, he may need to sacrifice everything, himself, and all that we have here.

Rayla likewise feels called to protect everyone, and that's precisely why by the end of Bloodmoon Huntress she's chosen to literally and figuratively follow in Runaan's career path, in order to be able to help protect and save people like Suroh (a stranger she immediately becomes entangled with). As Rayla says to the vision of Runaan and her parents in 5x01, "I think this is what you would want me to do," because they are ultimately all more alike (even in the occupations Rayla holds, such as assassin or dragonguard) than they are dissimilar.

The reason I highlight Rayla here is because 1) it is her highest value, being the only character to have it as said highest value (Claudia's, likewise, is only an 8 — but everything she does is indeed for her father, and unknowingly herself) and 2) I think it provides a clear contrast to Callum.

Because Callum's devotion does outline who, or what, he's loyal to. He isn't loyal just to causes and he isn't loyal just to concepts. While he cares about the world, when his back is up against the wall and it's a choice between that kind of security vs the life of a loved on (Ez, Rayla), Callum will always choose the latter. He cares about the world — to a Point.

I've talked about it before, but merely a statement of "I value those close to me more than anything" would accordingly be a lot more vague. There could be discussions and debates on what the 'anything' constitutes (morals, responsibilities, hurt feelings) with a lot more grey room as to whether it would include people (strangers).

“Maybe there is something I can do,” Callum said. “Ezran, you stay here. Protect Bait and Zym. Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon—with Rayla.” [...] Could he really bring himself to go through with his plan? What if he didn’t succeed? What if he compromised his beliefs and it all ended up being for nothing? […] But Rayla’s blade bounced off with a clang, sparks flying. She reeled back and tried again. Nothing happened. She was in trouble. Callum inched toward Claudia’s [book].

—Book 2: Sky novelization

But the inclusion of "more than anyone" changes that. It does include people. There is no wiggle room about that.

Now, I'm not going to base my whole thing on one (1) statement from a supplementary material. As previously stated, I've seen Callum with that exact same sentiment for years now, well before Tales of Xadia (March 2022) was released, and well before S4 or S5 premiered. I've gone over a lot of the reasons I thought Callum had selective loyalty even in S1, but I haven't touched too much on one of the biggest reasons why I think that selective loyalty includes a devotional component that borders on dangerous (at least, in a story). And that's, well...

“Rayla told me you used Dark Magic,” [Ethari] said, more stiff and cold. Callum shrank a bit, but his eyes hardened. “I couldn’t just let her die.” “You’d do it again." The prince scowled. “I’m not like Aaravos. He twisted the primal to be like Dark Magic. I would never do that.” “Unless you felt like you had to,” [Ethari] reiterated. “To save Rayla.” “Wouldn’t you do anything to save the person you love?”

—chapter 13 of a fic I co-wrote called in search of silver linings (we discovered gold) from july 2019, respectively

As soon as Callum opened up the door with dark magic in 2x07, I knew it was something he likely would never be able to entirely close. Not for lack of trying or wanting — but that his willingness to engage in dark magic at all spoke to a few different things. The first was the effectiveness — what spell to use, what would be most useful, and what Rayla's biggest problem would be (her swords unable to cut chains) — but most of all was what pushed him there: his devotion.

While magic has always been the thing presenting Callum with paths (to be a mage or not a mage, to be a primal or a dark mage), his bonds with other people, and his love for them — Rayla in particular — has always been what's actually pushed him down certain paths. His love for his mother, and her love for him, is what helps him unlock the sky arcanum. Callum unlocks his wings out of his love for Rayla; he goes down on the path of mage because "you called me a mage, and that felt right."

Although mastery of magic is one of Callum's highest values (an 8, just like his devotion), it was always clear to me that magic is not something Callum values above the people he loves. He can be obsessive, and his love for magic can sometimes put himself and other people unintentionally at risk, but thus far we've always seen him course correct the minute he realizes what's happening. The second things begin to go south at the Banther Lodge, Callum reflects, "We never should've come here," and completely forgoes the quest for the cube. He tries to risk his life just for magic in 2x04, but as we've gone over, he's unable to go through with it, but he will risk his life for his loved ones.

His rejection of dark magic was, to me, of being a dark mage, of not also pursuing primal magic, of relying on dark magic. Not that he would never, under any circumstance, ever do dark magic again if the show put him in the right circumstances. And then he did, in spite of knowing it would make him more vulnerable to Aaravos, in spite of not having any confirmation it wouldn't bring on a second possession, in spite of the fact he was fine being tortured if that meant not doing it or participating.

Then we have Callum giving up the spell, and the fact that the Ocean arcanum is linked more directly to love within his arc — "To love is to simply know this: the tides are true as the ocean is deep" (5x01, 5x08) — in addition to being aware that there are unknown depths in what he's willing to do for said loved ones/Rayla.

This is not to say that none of the main cast would do dark magic — although I don't think Soren or Ezran ever would, and I think Rayla would but only perhaps using herself as spell parts — but that, as the primary mage character, it's going to and is playing a much bigger part in Callum's arc than the others, who are given other thematic considerations.

He hates dark magic. He doesn't want to let Aaravos control him. He refuses to help Finnegrin. He folds on all of those things motivated by love. It's a weakness and a strength; something that, in my eyes, will likely lead to his fall to Aaravos ("Seems to me love's got a tighter grip on you than those chains around your wrists, so I'll do you a favour [by killing Rayla] and set you free") as well as what might save him. But to focus on the fall, with everything already said behind us:

Why Love Instead of Curiosity?

Now, obviously the theory of "Callum will free Aaravos because of [insert non possession reason here]" could be wrong. There's merits in having arcs about the tragedy inherent in losing your agency, it would still open up an interesting arc after the fact, and all that good stuff.

Callum has also very much always been an Icarus figure. He can be obsessive with magic, he can take it too far, and he does have a deep curiosity and thirst for knowledge that has already gotten him in trouble by not excluding dark magic from the bunch.

And deep curiosity is already hinted to be what partially causes him to fall further into Aaravos' clutches in a few different places. The mirror ("What secrets are you hiding?") and the cube ("Perhaps it will be you, Callum, who discover's the cube's secrets") seem accordingly linked and fittingly so, for the Mystery of Aaravos, as is magic: "it's the secret of the primal".

Zubeia also warns regarding curiosity, citing that, "Aaravos was able to give them something they wanted very badly. Aaravos chose as his instruments people who had strong minds and strong hearts… but who had an insatiable thirst and fascination with magic. Aaravos could offer them access to the great mysteries of the universe. Mages were his prey," which implies that this thirst for magic is what got them (primarily) into trouble. This is reflected (pun intended) in both Aaravos' reading of Viren as "You are too curious, hungry for knowledge and power," and while Callum is hungry for knowledge (and not necessarily power), his short story in which he finds the mirror highlights one of these things as well:

Callum’s eyes prickled with dust and tears. He rushed back to the spiral staircase—but as he reached for the figurine that would activate them, he noticed one last door he hadn’t checked. The small chamber beyond it lay dark and silent. A gleam caught his eye. Callum blinked at his own reflection. Curious, he stepped through the door—and there it was. A mirror.

With all that in mind, and I'm sure there's ones I've missed, too, why on Earth am I arguing that while curiosity may play a factor, I think it's going to be love that ultimately causes his initial downfall / playing into Aaravos' hands?

Well...

For starters, I personally find "doing terrible things for love" to be not only a primary theme of arc 2, but much more fundamentally sympathetic than just getting in over your head because you were a dumbass who couldn't read the signs. I know for myself that if Callum fucks around and accidentally gets himself into a place where (under possession at that point or not) he helps free, or just flat out helps, Aaravos knowing everything that he knows, if he does it for love I will defend his choice every step of the way. If it happens just because he wants more power or magical knowledge (hello Viren 2.0 beat for beat) I'm gonna be a lot more critical of him. After all, Claudia has done a lot of awful things but I still have sympathy for her because they were for her family, in their own fractured way, and operating out of a place of deep emotional pain. If she was doing that just because she wanted to be Powerful and Knowledgable, then no, I'm not going to be that sympathetic.

The other half of it, which you might have already guessed, is that curiosity is not a Motivation. It's a manifestation of a character's pyschological makeup. Even for a character like Viren, who very much chased power, ultimately, for the sake of power, we take time to dive into WHY he wanted those things ("To know that I mean something to you, it means everything to me" / "I dream of a bright future for humanity") and his internal justifications, no matter if some of those turned out to be lies.

Characters who are curious are curious because they want to solve puzzles and have a hard time letting things go; or else they are curious because they want to prove themselves by solving things first; or else they are curious because they deeply love and want to understand and protect the world; or else they are curious because they want to know and have access to tools so that they can fix problems; or else... Well, you get the idea.

Even if it is primarily Callum's curiosity and love/thirst for magic that gets him into trouble (and thus far it largely hasn't been, as we see in S2 with his motivation for doing dark magic — yes, there was a part of him that was undeniably curious about what it would be like, but I don't think he would've pushed himself into doing it without the dire straits of "I had to, to save my friends")... That doesn't answer why he's curious.

Either he will pull a full Greek tragedy and be so scared of freeing Aaravos he accidentally walks into it by trying to prevent it directly (and one of the main reasons he's scared of Aaravos is because he's scared he might hurt people he loves through possession) or he needs another motivation, but it can't just be "Callum really wants this [insert magical knowledge here] and it ends badly," because that offers a plot summary, not an emotional character beat. There's no motivation. They'll have to explain why he wants the magical knowledge, why he's chasing it, why this level of curiosity is something he cannot or will not put down even with all the risk factors at play. It has to be grounded in some kind of sympathetic emotion, and love or fear or a desire to be helpful/useful, or all three makes the most sense to me and with all the prior setup.

Conclusion

As a closing note, as well as thank you for reading this far if you have because this got wildly long and out of hand, I want to reiterate that in many ways, to me, Callum's devotion to his loved ones — that he says "I would do anything for you" and mean it — is indeed his saving grace and biggest difference from Viren, who would rather offer up himself or others or have Harrow die than relinquish the egg, because he would never put a weapon into Xadia's hands. Being devotional — valuing the individual — is not always a good or bad thing, nor is prioritizing the 'greater good' always a good or a bad thing. TDP is deeply interested in exploring all the different circumstances of motivation, sacrifice, and choices.

Nor is selective loyalty a bad thing. I'm not wired that way, but some of my closest loved ones are (and of those in the fandom have, overall, greatly aligned with this perceived aspect of Callum). Merely, this meta is meant to examine the claim in Tales of Xadia that "I value those close to me more than anyone or anything," why I was surprised but delighted to see my view of Callum be so directly spelled out, why I had that view and continue to have it, in addition to aspects/pieces of the text that I think support it.

I believe that Callum is loyal to Ezran and Rayla on a fundamental level he does not really extend to anyone else (including many other people who are also his family) and while this is in many ways something that creates the best sides of him — his nurturing, compassionate, thoughtful and protective traits — it is also something that can be exploitable and dangerous, particularly in a narrative where he is set up to be controlled/coerced by the big bad.

And this meta hopefully explained why.

You can take it or leave it.

—Dragons out

#snake boi callum #two pillars #tdp #tdp meta #the dragon prince #analysis series #analysis #tdp callum #callum #multi #tales of xadia #this got so long YES im mad about it #characterization

[aspiringtrashpanda]

✨Fic Rec✨ - Divergent Fist 🍙💍

Buckle up, Inuokko enjoyers! It's time to check out Divergent Fist! If this story doesn't already have you in a chokehold, constantly on the edge of your seat, then it's time to dedicate a whole afternoon getting caught up. Make a tea, grab your weighted blanket, and read the 12 current chapters of this incredible doujinshi.

RATED M. Content Warnings - Canon-typical violence and gore, post-Shibuya incident, sexual content, lots of angst, trauma and related physical and emotional reactions (AKA Toge has no food left in his stomach).

Divergent Fist follows the stories of Toge Inumaki and Yuuta Okkotsu, navigating the world of jujutsu sorcerers, trauma and healing, and budding romance in the aftermath of the Shibuya incident. Expertly balancing the soft moments with the devastating, ArtMop (she/her) is in the midst of crafting a doujin that is sure to stand the test of time and become a classic for any fans of BL in the Jujutsu Kaisen fandom.

To start off, I'd like to be transparent that yes, I do edit ArtMop's chapters and help with the general planning of the series. I have a clear bias. That being said, I genuinely believe that this doujin is not getting the attention it deserves, and I just want to shout my love for it from the top of a mountain. Let me give a hardworking creator some love, okay?

First off, let's talk about the #1 selling point of DF - it is an illustrated fanfic that updates regularly and is accessible entirely for free. What more could you possibly ask for? You wanted more Toge content? More Yuuta content? Well, here you go!

It is worth noting that the art itself, despite being above average to begin with, improves drastically throughout the story. The anatomy, expressions, and details in the last few chapters are breathtaking. With each installment in the DF series, ArtMop improves and improves and improves. I, personally, wait with bated breath for the drop of the next color cover, the next insert art. There doesn't seem to be a ceiling in sight when it comes to ArtMop's swiftly growing skill, and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for her. If she applies a fraction of the same dedication to honing her craft to anything else in her life, she may become the next president... or something far cooler.

Stunning visuals aside, the story itself is magnificent. It integrates canon world building, mixed with original cursed techiques and characters, so seamlessly that it feels as though this is an actual spin-off of Jujutsu Kaisen. Perhaps an alternate universe where underutilized characters are given a bit more depth (shots fired 👈😎👈)?

The character arcs have been set in motion! We have Toge refusing to acknowledge his trauma. We have Yuuta's sexual awakening. We have a deeper look into Maki's friendship with Toge, and a delightful duo of new first years. And best of all? We have a villain with an interesting motive. It's clear that ArtMop has so much planned, more than we can possibly imagine! We are already starting to see how relationships are developing, how each character manages the aftermath of certain choices differently, and the story is only going to build from here.

Chapter 12 has just been posted on Tapas and Tumblr, and if you're craving even more Divergent Fist content, there are even a couple behind the scenes moments found on Archive of Our Own. Listen, as someone who knows the trajectory of the story, please check out this amazing series. You may be chewing your nails (like Toge) waiting for the next chapter, but I promise you that being along for the ride is part of the journey, and it will all be worth it in the end.

Okay, ramble over! Thank you for listening! Here, have a cute trio pic from the cover of Chapter 8:

Huge thank you to @artmopworks for this incredible work, and for letting me scream about her doujin. 💕

#inuokko #ottoge #inumaki toge #yuuta okkotsu #toge x yuuta #doujinshi #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen fanart #artmopworks #seriously this is so good #please check it out #editor privileges so i know what happens next #and trust me you want to be along for the ride

[probablyhuntersmom]

For the sleepover ask game, share some owl house headcanons about what happened during the time skip. As many as you'd like. :)

Ayyy finally answering this, friend! Sorry that it took centuries to get to!

The one thing I don't shut up about is Hunter's ensuing depression after Belos's death, contrary to the Hollywood kind of ending where everything becomes sunny and everyone can easily move on. We would see the stuff that a therapist would tick the checkboxes for in a mental status exam: slowing down psychomotor-wise e.g. slower speech, flat moods which are the unsettling polar opposite to the earnest emotional expression we love him so much for, distracted attention span, less tidy appearance, and he'd be sleeping excessively for some time. (full mental health meta on this subject here: link) Camila would be making sure he has plenty of movies to watch on the couch so that he isn't locking himself too much in the basement T_T Darius would be monitoring how he helps to rebuild the Isles so that he doesn't overexert himself.

Amity, the twins and Alador would go for walks to the store, in the woods etc, and this bonding time in restoring their relationships would be so important.

Luz's two main challenges would be: 1. becoming more aware of the domino effect of teaching Philip the light glyph spell in the timepool, especially now that everyone is coming out of survival mode, 2. the guilt surrounding Flapjack...I don't think she'd just move on from puppet!Hunter's words "And then I lost him, helping you. But you still get to have your own palisman?!" God this makes me wonder...what was it that the Hexsquad went through in their minds which led to the beautiful decision to get their red tattoos together? I'm gonna sniffle, jfc.

Gus might be the first person to broach the subject of Flapjack again, since he verbally put the same subject out in the open in For the Future (working with Willow, who took the flyer derby photo off the wall to show to Hunter and trying to reach out to him). It's also in line with how he was the first one to express sadness after they became trapped in the human realm i.e. he broke down crying right away. I love this about him whereby he may excel in Illusion magic but he gets down to the truth right away.

Willow is utterly exhausted and there's still some remaining upset from her breakdown about how much she missed her dads, shouldered things on her own and kept things bottled up. She approaches Camila not long after they leave The Collector's Palace to say that Camila was right, and to say thank you. And she needs a bit of space alone for the upset feelings to run their course.

Mattholomule has more surprises up his sleeve for Gus, lol. Gus just doesn't stop being flabbergasted.

The first person to say anything to Kikimora, who is moping and stewing away somewhere, is of course Luz.

Luz and Hunter more or less switch places emotionally if you compare their TTT and WaD demeanors (in FtF, they were both under somewhat similar emotional strain, in their own arcs). In TTT, Luz was very far from her vibrant self, ruminated on her guilt and slowed down so much, while Hunter was on the move: excitedly exploring his self and interests while being in his comfort zone of wanting to help others (he still had the capacity to do so!). Luz wasn't out exploring and connecting with others: she was in the dark prison of depression. If we flip this for the pre-timeskip era: Hunter would slow down by gradually running out of steam to even help others, and isolate himself before getting better...struggling with the absence of Flapjack and Belos, being frozen in time in terms of this bereavement. While Luz, 1. became unfrozen from her long-term bereavement by beginning to accept that her dad and Papa Titan were gone (an emotional place which Hunter simply cannot reach until many months later), 2. was reunited with Eda and King and on the same page as Camila, and would be on the move seeing what she can do to contribute for the Isles. There is a parallel between both of them wrestling with guilt: Luz's guilt about how her encounter with young Philip led to Belos's regime, Hunter's about the impact of his actions as the Golden Guard.

God this one is tough to lay out in clear detail but...the sleeping arrangements for the Hexsquad during the first few nights...emotions catching up to them...I really wonder what it was, and who would want more of their own space and not trouble others (yet definitely not being at peace with whatever was going through their minds) versus who expressed their need to not be alone at night.. Maybe Luz wanted to be with Eda, Raine and King in the Owl House, Amity would have her space back in Blight Manor, and we have Willow, Gus and Darius extending invitations to Hunter. There's no way I can predict which choice Hunter made, coz he may have gone with an arrangement that would've left the others concerned. Whether he obliged out of politeness or was firm enough to say that he didn't want to burden them...hard to tell. OMT, what if he slept alone BUT the palismen secretly huddled by his side in the night like in this beautiful fanart which is one of my faves??: link

Contrary to Hunter, Vee's response to Belos's death would be far simpler closure because she had zero attachment to Belos. Hell, she wasn't raised by him for an entire childhood. And while she would've had some survivor's guilt, we know that the other basilisks eventually came back to life, unlike (ughhhhh) the Grimwalkers who can't be brought back. These are the clues as to how Vee could open up more, smile brightly, and begin to explore the big wide world around her:

Which means she would've definitely been an important influence for Hunter's recovery.

Like...

How long till he could freely smile again? Camilaaaaa...take care of your three precious kids.

These are the first headcanons that came to mind. Might reblog this and add more over time. Thanks for the ask :)

#loz's ask box #toh s3 headcanons #the owl house #answers for ask games

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 2

Propaganda Under Cut

Mel Medarda

she is the richest woman in piltover who left her family because she didn't agree with the way they did things (conquering and murdering). she sponsors jayce and viktor, and courts jayce, which makes people upset because, you know, jayvik. she and viktor are CANONICALLY parallels with much of their imagery mirroring the other's and they are literally the same height. and people are so weird and misogynist and racist about her. they argue she is manipulating jayce and doesn't actually love him. i am cognitively disabled and cannot explain things well, but, she is so fucking shouldered

Black woman who has a romantic arc with one of the main characters Jayce. Jayce has a best friend called Viktor and their relationship is pretty important plot wise, shown as a direct contrast to his relationship with Mel even though only one is canonically sexual/romantic. So naturally fandom as the transformative safe haven it is villainized Mel horribly coming up with theories about how instead of being a complex morally grey character she's actually evil and just wants to seduce Jayce for Evil Reasons. Since they couldn't use her as a supportive female friend with no personality, others just ignored her existence entirely or acted like Jayce would ditch her for Viktor. Majority of m/m shippers will reduce her down to her relationship with Jayce and an obstacle in the way of JayVik, ironically writing her as a far worse and less complex version of the character we get on screen. The misogyny reeks and combined with the racism? It's a pretty bad case. Only slightly mitigated due to the fact that the main characters of the show are women (and the lead is a lesbian) so thankfully the male focus of fandom is lessened as opposed to filling almost every inch. Still awful to try and search for good Mel content, godspeed girlies with taste.

She's one of the most interesting characters on the show, a rich politician, smart and beautiful and has a really complicated and intriguing relationship with the city's golden boy inventor. unfortunately golden boy has a sickly twink science partner so she gets sidetracked SO BAD

Nyota Uhura

She's Spock's canon partner in AOS, and I get it because they're not a great couple, but she gets villianized in fic so much. They constantly make her an asshole (which totally has nothing to do with her being black /sarcasm) and abusive just for the crime of dating a man headcanoned as gay. And I mean, I think Spock is gay and her being a love interest was unnecessary but still! She's cool!

Oh my god so in the Star Trek reboot she’s Spock’s girlfriend and the fandom has no idea what to do with her??? Like she is ALWAYS either such a bitch or like the mom friend? And there is so much more to her character than that? But they always break down her character AND find a quick and easy way to break up her and Spock. I’m not even mad at that but at least treat their relationship with some weight instead of just being like ‘it never mattered’. People can love multiple people throughout the course of their lives. You know that right? Just because you loved someone before doesn’t make your new love any less special. And even headcanoning Spock as gay… you realize he doesn’t need to be attracted to Uhura for their relationship to have mattered, right? Even if he confused friendship for romantic attraction, him feeling such strong friendship and openly expressing it is so monumental for him!!! 

she's dating Spock, who people ship with Kirk, so fans have decided that it's horrible writing and "really, they're just defending her, the movies turned her into just a love interests," which is not at all true. The movies do so much more for her to the point that the fans who have only seen the movies think that the main characters are Kirk, Spock, and Uhura instead of the Kirk, Spock, McCoy of the original series. Also having a black women being shown as being desired and loved in mainstream media, particularly by one of the most popular characters of all time, is a good thing, not making her "just a love interest"

#poll #round 2 #arcane #mel arcane #mel medarda #star trek #nyota uhura

[nolongerapileofashprobably]

What do you think about link and Zelda’s characters?

I wonder if this is specifically Zelda and Link from the Wild Era— I’ll assume so since it is the newest era and I have been primarily focused on Wild Era games recently.

I’ll start with Zelda’s character first— to put it plainly, I love her as a character. She grows and develops despite witnessing literal tragedies and shouldering the weight of a kingdom from birth. Her duty was set forth the moment the prophecy came to light and she was put at a disadvantage when her mother died.

If we remember, Zelda didn’t cry at her mother’s funeral. We know from the game that Zelda is quite an emotional character, so her putting on a front of placing so much on herself at such a young age is something that breaks my heart. But to see how she grows as a person, how she overcomes that emotional blockage through sheer love, how she handles the wreckage of the Calamity, how she develops as a leader, to finally how she becomes a Queen is by far the most powerful and beautiful Zelda character arc in the series. She is so beloved in my heart that I cannot formulate the words to describe those emotions, though I desperately try.

There is no Zelda in the entire series that I adore and cherish more than her (and I’ve played nearly all the games). She’s on another level of development and complexity that it truly hurts to see people completely warp her personality and her actions to justify a false narrative.

Her character is incredibly strong, not just magically, but in terms of actual character design, development, and the execution of her story. She has her flaws, and we actively see her work on them and course correct when she can. That is something so mature and important (and I don’t think people give her enough credit for that). I genuinely don’t have many critiques of her character, as I was genuinely happy with her through the entirety of the story.

Link on the other hand… I do love him. I do. Link is a strong character physically, but his development is incredibly scarce compared to Zelda. His character suffers from Nintendo’s choice to essentially make Link a ‘link to the player’ rather than his own person. With a story that incites powerful emotional responses when players cannot refuse that Zelda and Link 1) are incredibly close/bonded, probably lowkey codependent 2) have not left each other’s side since they were reunited and finally that they are 3) probably romantically involved, or something akin to transcending just a simple friendship, it’s difficult to ensure that experience when all of that is lost on those who decide that it isn’t true.

Mind you, everything I listed above are simple and straightforward interpretations of in-game evidence. And we do see a lot more from Link’s character this game with small gasps and micro expressions (that should NOT be ignored). But for those who do not agree with the above, it’s likely they disliked the story. That’s okay, not everyone will like the story. But a lot of it stems from this vagueness Nintendo established for Link’s character.

He was a kid beating soldiers in the guard, trained in Zora’s Domain, continued training, got the Master Sword when he was a preteen, had the weight of a prophecy placed on him as the first piece besides Zelda, and then became a Champion and Zelda’s Knight Attended by the age of 16/17. Homeboy did have a lot of trauma and stress at an early age that did cause selective muteness and for him to create this stoic mask. We see that he is much less stoic and more talkative after the Calamity and after, but it’s all relative to what the player wants/feels. Sometimes that contradicts what the story itself implies/tells players.

Link is… wasted potential as a character. He could have 100% been more than what we were given to see. I have crafted my own version of him that to me, is as close as canon as I could get, but that won’t be the same for anyone else. Link is precisely what Nintendo wanted him to be and he serves that purpose perfectly.

And it works, but it could have been executed a bit better by confirming things regarding his character rather than leaving breadcrumbs for players to follow if they decided to.

So yeah. Zelda is amazing and I love her. Link could have been executed better but for what we got, I still love him too and extracted enough to formulate as close to canon interpretation without being overly biased (at least I tried).

#I just love my little scholar and her guard dog boyfriend #I just think they’re neat #botw Zelda #botw link #botw zelink #totk zelda #totk link #totk zelink #zelink #loz totk #loz botw #totk Spoilers #botw #the legend of zelda #link botw #zelda botw #loz tears of the kingdom spoilers #the legend of zelda breath of the wild

[trashlie]

ILY FP 231

ALRIGHTY KIDS WHO’S READY FOR STALKYOO WEEKEND WHO’S READY FOR ME TO TALK NONSTOP ABOUT ILY AND TENSION AND FEELINGS AND EXECUTION AND SUBTEXT I’M RARING TO GO picture me frothing at the mouth rattling the bars of my cage because that’s been me and that WILL remain me! 

Look I’m about to choke out 246 different posts but I’m going to do my best to try to keep this one on topic... but we know how I get so uhhhh. Brace yourselves lmao 

This episode is just CATNIP for me, and I know I keep saying that but forgive me, everything we’ve been getting in these arcs is jus tailor-made, it’s the stuff I feast on, it’s got me scurrying up walls like a lil lizard chewing on the rafters shrieking like a banshee. I am FED and I am addicted and I WANT MORE!!!!!!! 

Nana + Shinae is just unhinged chaos I was completely unprepared for and getting to see them play out more in this episode is a HOOT. I say this with affection, but I am SO GLAD she’s not MY grandma cos WOW I, too, would be so embarrassed. (Actually she reminds me a lot of my mom, pls understand the embarrassment I have endured at her hand!) Shinae and Nana bonding over their mutual dislike for Rand was SO funny - like oh shit wait you don’t like that old geezer OR that witch? Oh you have TASTE (also there’s a subtle little... dig if we want to call it that “Oh I like this one” [eyes]). All the while Nol just sits by watching with that EXPRESSION LMAO 

In fact, all of Nol’s expressions are SO funny and SO good! I cannot get over his deeply mortified blushing when Nana called the headband his “comfort headband” and pretty much aired that he was so upset that he was fiddling with it lmao LIKE COME ON (BUT ALSO HER INSINUATIONS? NANA U NASTY FREAK LMAOOOOOOO implying he’d done something unholy with it I SIMPLY CANNOT) His expression as he fucking!!! Throws!!!!! His blanket over her with his lil eye buggin out? PURE COMEDY I LOVE IT 

But obviously the meat and potatoes of this episode is the Shinae Nol confrontation - and the elephant in the room. Nol says so much while saying so little - the subtext is off the charts and it’s INSANE to me that they are just.... confessing between the lines lmao 

Let me get this out of the way, my favorite point to yell about: Nol cannot resist Shinae. He tries and he always fails. He is so weak in the face of her - and now he finally understands why. She doesn’t seem to realize it, but she manages to elicit truth out of him, she keeps him rooted to the spot. He’ll purposefully distance himself from her - angle away, sit away - but he still ends up angled in towards her, drawn in. She gets to him in a way that, as far as we can tell, no one else can. It’s what made it so difficult for him to actually part with her - why he stumbled and clutched her before he finally snipped the cord, why he had to block her and when she got around that (her message in his spam) he had to drown it out with alcohol. Her gravitational pull on him is so great and he is now aware of it. 

I think he did have every intention to talk to her. Maybe he wasn’t going to be as open as we hope. He seemed like he wanted to at least try to clear something up. But his tune completely changed after she brought up Dieter, after she made him realize that Dieter saw it all, that he knew what Nol knows. Ngl I find this simultaneously funny and frustrating because it DOES put them in such a precarious position and Shinae is just SO unaware of it yet!!!! 

Nol knows that when it’s just them, things cease to matter. It’s the way he phrases things - like how he talks about when they thought everyone was asleep, because it was that cloak of secrecy that allowed him to be so bold. It was the belief that the whole world was asleep and they were alone in their bubble, no thoughts, nothing else, acting on their whims. He knows he made a move on her, and he knows it was intentional, and it would never have happened if Dieter and Soushi were awake. But that’s the thing about when Nol is alone with Shinae - he seems to forget everything else. She disarms him and he acts on his whims. 

The range of his expression is so good here - going from guarded and cautious to the moment he’s putting the dots together and he closes his eyes and screws up his face. Nol isn’t an asshole - he knows what Dieter must be feeling, what it must be like to have witnessed that, to listen in on that. Shinae may not have processed how loaded it was, but Nol can see it easily from Dieter’s perspective. 

And here’s the thing about Dieter, too. He’s not a fool, he knows what he’s up against. I don’t mean it in that he’s competing with Nol, really, but we know he compares his relationship with Shinae to other peoples’ relationships with her. We’ve seen him voice his insecurity to Minhyuk - that he doesn’t have with her what Nol does. When he told Shinae she loves Nol, he obviously meant it as a friend, the way he does - but I still think he was voicing a fear that he already had in his heart. Like Nol, though, Dieter isn’t good at resisting Shinae, and he lets his hope build up when he knows better. Dieter knew he was playing with fire. 

That doesn’t make it hurt any less, though - to basically have it confirmed almost behind your back. Dieter can see it for what it was - not just the way Nol was acting, the way he looked at her, the way he literally put the moves on her lol but it was the way she received it, the way she flusters under his gaze. It was how she stayed at his side the whole time, how her concern for him outshines her need for sleep or food. 

Nol’s guilt is SO strong, it permeates this episode, but I think it’s also very much twisted with his fear. It’s easier to use the guilt, to frame around that, because in his mind he fucks things up all the time, he makes things worse, his existence creates more problems. I love that Shinae calls him out on the fact that it’s not his fault that his plan to get her and Dieter together didn’t work because it’s true. While he’s not wrong to some degree - pushing Dieter and Shinae to be friends does kind of prolong the pain, at the end of the day, they all make their choices. Dieter chose to collect those moments with Shinae knowing they were supposed to be strictly platonic, everything as friends. Shinae still chose to confide in him, to open up, to let him in. Just because Nol pushed the friendship it doesn’t mean they had no agency in the matter. 

But obviously the real issue is not that he pushed them, that it draws out the pain for Dieter. It’s that he did all of that and in the end, he was the one who hurt him the most. It wasn’t that Shinae didn’t reciprocate - it was that Nol has feelings, too. 

Now, I want to make a point here that I’m sure we’re all on the same page about. No one is really “at fault” here. It’s not like anyone has done anything wrong. Sure we can argue that Shinae has gotten Dieter’s hopes up unintentionally. Sure we can argue that liking someone your friend likes is bad. But human feelings are messy and don’t exist in a vacuum of good vs bad. The whole thing about dibs is so gross in general - it denies someone agency and instead rests on those who like them. Is Nol a bad friend for falling for someone his friend also likes? Is Shinae a bad person for falling for the friend of the guy who likes her? Obviously there are things that need to be cleared up - she needs to sort out her feelings for them, but the point remains. No one is at fault. 

But that doesn’t mean Nol won’t feel guilty, won’t feel like an asshole for finding a new way to hurt the people he cares about. 

I know this sounds crazy but I kind of lmao like the way he told Shinae she needs to go, that “You can’t be here alone with me any longer.” 

Nol has acknowledged his role in this. He acknowledges the way he deliberately hurt Dieter, even though it wasn’t his intention. And what’s more is what he’s not saying - the subtext. That she can’t be alone with him because they will continue to say and do things that will hurt Dieter, that will create more pain. Nol knows how easily Shinae can disarm him if he’s not vigilante. All it takes is her bringing him ease again, him falling back into that comfort, forgetting the rest of the world, acting on it again. 

There’s something that feels so urgent about it? Intense? That she NEEDS to go because he doesn’t have the willpower any more. That he’s trying REALLY HARD to be a good person, a good friend, but it’s so difficult. He says it every which way besides with words, and if you read between the lines he’s practically screaming it out loud. 

I actually think he’s handling it pretty well, even if it doesn’t clear things up for Shinae in the moment. He’s acting on Dieter’s behalf - but also on his own. And hers. Shinae needs to come to the conclusion he has and it’s not for him to tell her. Part of why it’s so easy for Shinae to let herself feel that way with Dieter is because she knows he likes her. He’s safe and comfortable. Had he never confessed would she think anything of the way he looks at her? Would she think anything of the comfort he brings her? But because she knows, it has affected her view. I don’t say that like it’s a bad thing, because we all respond to people based on how they feel about us, I think. But if Nol were to speak those words out loud, if he were to tell her “it’s because I like you!” how would it make her feel? Would it influence what she thinks about him? Surely it would! 

Nol is trying to get Shinae to come to the same realization he has, and more so, he’s trying to get her to be clear about her feelings. Do you like me or not? Do you act this way with everyone? He sees the way she gets flustered, he knows the effect he’s got on her. He’s probably sure she reciprocates those feelings and hasn’t figured it out yet - but there’s still a shadow of a doubt. There’s still the fact that maybe he’s reading into it, maybe he’s seeing something that isn’t there. Maybe she’s someone who cares about him and he’s misread it because he’s so desperate to matter to someone, anyone. 

Look we all know better, but we also know how doubts persist! 

There’s so much ANGST but it’s SO good! It’s not angst for the sake of angst, it’s not drawing something out just to make the story last. Nol’s expressions cause me PAIN, Shinae’s make me ACHE. He feels like a guilty asshole, he wants her to go, but he can’t even look at her and say it - he looks away, his mouth set in that way holding back all the things he believes he should not say. Honestly they are so good at hurting each other ;______; it hurts ME, too! 

But also, I get it. I’m with Nol here. How can he bear to look at her when he’s pushing her away again? How can he bear to look at her when it’s all his fault (according to him). He can’t even look at her when he tells her Dieter was awake the whole time. It’s such a loaded statement but unfortunately it doesn’t QUITE land because Shinae can’t quite grasp the significance. 

Actually this whole part is both so funny and so unbearable to me lmao because Nol is all but saying that Dieter oversaw them having a very non-platonic moment and she’s like i don’t get it why’s that a big deal LMAOOOOOO ;____; Nol is going THROUGH it okay! She keeps insisting that it meant nothing, that it’s just friends, what’s wrong with that. And Nol can’t come out and say the truth - that it looked romantic that it felt romantic, that he meant all of it and that’s why it’s so wrong. The whole time he’s trying to get her to understand WHY that hurts Dieter and she’s just hurting him at the same time LMAO OUCH 

I LOVE those panels where we can’t see their faces - where it’s Nol’s frustration and anguish that she doesn’t get it, that he’s trying, that he feels awful because of course those feelings are still there why wouldn’t they be. His frustration, the faint lines on Shinae’s face. 

Maybe it’s there at the back of her mind - something faint, something distant. Maybe for a moment she understands what Nol isn’t saying, the implications of what Dieter oversaw, overheard. But if it, she doesn’t acknowledge it at all. 

Nol’s hand over his face in frustration, that panel where we close in on his eye and Shinae says “You’re not intentionally trying to hurt him!” But... he is. Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt Dieter - but he IS intentionally doing things that hurt him. And he still wants to! That’s the thing, that’s why he needs her to go. It’s so easy to fall into that, to act on that, to forget Dieter exists and instead indulge a little. It may not be his intention to hurt Dieter, but it’s his intention to do things that WOULD hurt him, and she doesn’t get it. 

But GOD lmao the way she just starts to rub salt in the wound!!!!! “Whatever he thinks is just a misunderstanding. There’s NOTHING going on here!” 

In ILY universe, nothing is always Nol. There is Nol going on here. 

And look, I feel for him here, a LOT. This must be SO hard!!!! Not just the pushing her away, not just knowing he hurt Dieter, but having this whole conversation, her not getting it, her taking a moment that clearly meant SO MUCH to him and saying it meant nothing. Again, there’s so much that is LOADED when she says “We’re all friends here!” and he says that resolute “No”, his eyes hidden from us, his hands firm on the wheelchair. 

Shinae misconstrues it as no, we aren’t all friends, but what Nol means is that no it’s not just friends. It’s two different people who like her a lot. It’s knowing he acted on something that hurt his friend. That moment wasn’t platonic, wasn’t just friendship - not for him. Clearly she’s unready to see it, but he knows it. No. We’re not friends here - we are people who like you so very much. 

GOD, THE ANGST, THE ANGUISH. I AM SWINGING FROM THE RAFTERS I’M HOOTING. 

I LOVE the moment he says he can’t take this - he can’t keep having this conversation, can’t take being shut down like this, can’t handle her downplaying a significant moment. If she wants to tell herself it was nothing but to keep reiterating it to him? Unbearable! But also I LOVE that Shinae stands her group and puts her foot down, I love her calling him out because like I get it! I understand both of them. She’s had no time to process any of this, all she knows is she wants him to stop pushing her away, she wants him to stop boxing her out, she wants him to be OPEN. 

In a way, they are fighting for the same thing, but they keep obstructing each other. They want the same thing but they’re speaking in different languages. He WANTS her to see it - that it wasn’t a platonic moment, that he meant it that it matters that their fingerprints are all over it. He wants her to see what Dieter saw. She wants him to show himself, to open up, to stop hiding, to be vulnerable. They are trying SO HARD to get the same thing, but they just keep butting heads and getting in each others’ way. 

AND WHEN SHE TELLS NOL THAT SHE’S NOT NOT INTERESTED IN DATING DIETER? OH MY /GOD/ lmao alkjfkjafkjafkjafkjja alfjakfjj SHRIEKS 

Not ONLY has she basically downplayed this whole romantic moment, downplayed whatever is transpiring between them but she goes on to say SHE’S NOT NOT INTERESTED IN DIETER?! LMAOOOOOOOOO Again I reiterate no one is at fault here!!!!!! But lmaooooo the OUCHIES of this whole conversation! Isn’t it bad enough that she says it was nothing it doesn’t mean anything, and then she goes on to be like I mean i don’t totally NOT not like him idk..... LMAO 

He’s clearly frustrated both in trying to get her to understand what he isn’t voicing, but also because he seems like such a resolute person? Or at least, he tries to be. I assume it’s kind of like... he realized he likes her and that’s it. It’s not that he thinks he might like her, it’s not that he might have some feelings. He knows he’s all in, all feelings, all eyes on her. And she appears so wishy washy - flirting with him but doesn’t acknowledge it, unintentionally stringing Dieter along and igniting that hope. 

And the thing is she isn’t doing any of this maliciously. She’s tried to be clear with Dieter! It’s not her fault that he keeps getting his hopes up. She’s had no time to process her feelings for Nol, has had no experiences to compare any of this to. I love this conversation between them because it illuminates how little Shinae knows about feelings, about love, about romance. She hasn’t let anyone in in a long time, has guarded herself so tightly, and now that she has, how is she to understand the ways they affect her, what their significance means? 

It’s easy to see why she keeps trying to box her feelings about Nol into a box they don’t fit. Of course she cares, of course she worries, that’s what friends do. It’s not that she cares, though - it’s why. Does she care as a friend or does she care as something else? That’s what he’s trying to get her to answer - and I think he got close. But she needs to distance herself from the night, too. She needs to dwell on those feelings - and not just the intensity of trying to hang on to him, but the other feelings, too. The butterflies, the fluttering, the fluster, the way she can’t meet his gaze, the way she starts to fluster if he looks at her for too long. 

Someone said that Shinae is practically confessing to Nol and doesn’t even realize it and my god they’re right lmao. The way Shinae argues back that she knows Nol didn’t like it when she left after they danced, that she knows he was bummed, can you really throw all that away what we’ve been through, how effortless we are? lmao SHE REALLY JUST. Goes on saying it!!! AND SHE DOESN’T RECOGNIZE IT FOR WHAT IT WAS. 

(I mean she did a whole damn love soliloquy in front of Minhyuk for Nol so like. It’s been an all night thing lmao) 

Also it hurt when Nol admits that Dieter doesn’t have that with Shinae - not even as her friend. Even if she does not not want to date him, even if a part of her DOES like him - does it compare to what she feels about Nol? Does it compare to what he means to her? He can’t look her in the eye, and even as she tries to play it off, to say hey all friendships are different does it really matter SHE can’t meet his eye. 

Consciously Shinae may not be aware of it but on some level she must know. On some subconscious level, that ghost of a thought passes by, a faint wave of shame. She doesn’t share with Dieter what she shares with Nol. It’s true that there’s something there, but it’s something she’s avoiding, something she consciously cannot face yet. 

BUT LISTEN, MY GOD. NOL ASKING HER WHY SHE CARES /SCREAMS JUST SCREAMS ALJKFKJAFJKAFLJ AFJALJJAF AFJAKFJFA

He’s pushing!!!!!!!!!!!

I love that Nol is a ball of contradiction. He wants Shinae to acknowledge what he isn’t saying out loud, he wants her to realize that it means something to him, that there are feelings, that it’s not platonic, and he wants her to acknowledge so she understands why he’s pushing her away. But I think he also wants her to admit it herself. Confirm what he suspects. She fights SO hard but she can’t say why. She cares so much but she can’t elaborate. 

Convince me. 

LKJFKJAF LAJFKAJFA F /SCALES THE WALLS PARKOURS ACROSS ALL THE ROOFS IN THE NEIGHBORBOOD. 

He knows. HE KNOWS. Convince him he’s wrong. Convince him it’s not what he thinks. Convince her that her extent of care of need her desperate desire to keep hold of him to make him show himself to her to be vulnerable with him is platonic. Convince him. 

AND SHE CAN’T!!!!!!!!! 

Again, she averts her gaze! Again, she flusters and blushes. Again he disarms her just by looking at her and he takes advantage of the moment to finally kick her out. 

GOD WHAT AN EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WANNA BARK BARK BARK WOOOOF RLKJJKJ RRRRGGHHR RRRRHGHGHG LDKJC YIP YIP YIP 

IT’S SO GOOD. THE SUBTEXT, THE EXPRESSIONS, THE DANCE AROUND THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM, THE ANGST, THE EMOTIONS. 

And no matter which standpoint you look at it from it’s just GOOD. 

Nol feels guilty, like an asshole, he has hurt his friend. But more than that - it’s how he knows he can’t be alone with her, how he knows he can’t stop himself any more from acting on what he wants. He needs to PHYSICALLY remove her because that’s how little resistance he has, because that’s how much she gets to him, how much she affects him. It’s the way it hurts to have this conversation - where if he says the words out loud it makes them real and it becomes a weight she has to carry. If he can make her reach the conclusion on her own, maybe it won’t be so bad. He won’t have to deal with the pain if she doesn’t reciprocate - if she comes to the right conclusion and keeps her distance. If he says them out loud and she has to turn him down? He can’t handle that he can’t bear it. But at the same time, every time she denies that their shared moment meant nothing, that the way he looked at her, the way he treated her (HOW HE TOUCHED HER?????) was just platonic to him???? HOW CAN HE BEAR TO ENDURE THAT CONVERSATION?! 

And it’s not that it means nothing - she just needs the space and time to process it, to really play out what happened. I think, too, on some level she IS subconsciously repressing it. Isn’t it scary? Especially because Nol is a person who comes and goes, who pushes her away and then shares these intense moments and then shoves her away again. What good is it to acknowledge what he means when she can barely keep a hold on him as a friend, when she can barely make him understand his significance. Nol and Dieter both are such good friends to her, people she can rely on, people who make her feel safe. Sure Nol may not make her feel secure all the time lmao but when it’s just them, when they’re lost in that little world, for the moment, he does. It’s scary, to think of losing any of that. All the relationships she’s ever been privy to have fallen apart. There’s no photos, no memories of her family as a whole unit. She’s seen what Rand and Yui look like. She’s got no experience of her own, and now that she has friends she loves so much, she’s too afraid to lose them. 

How can she begin to dissect what Nol means to her when it makes him feel more fleeting? How can she begin to understand what exists between them is romantic when she’s never really witnessed a healthy successful romance exist?

The thing that makes friends to lovers SUCH a good trope, and why I love it SO MUCH is the stakes, the risk vs the payout. What if you take that step and it all goes wrong? What if you mess it up and you lose someone who is SO important to you, someone who means so much? What if all goes wrong and you can’t put it back together and you make something beautiful all wrong by getting your fingerprints on it and chipping the corners? You start to fear even the possibility because sure it could go well - but if it goes bad you lose it ALL. Everything. 

But what is life if you don’t take some risks? Can you live with that regret, if you never take a chance, if you miss out on something you wanted? 

That’s the thing about Dieter, isn’t it? He knows the risks. He knows he’s playing with fire, knows he doesn’t quite have with Shinae what Nol does. But he still tries. He still lets his unwavering hope go, even if it hurts him. He can’t ever say he has any regrets because he’s given it his all. Sure, it hurt a LOT and it’s going to, until he gets over her and can find a way to move on, but at least he tried. At least he made the effort and can say that he did his best. 

It’s funny that Nol and Shinae stand in that place. She’s doing her best, she’s making an effort so she can’t regret not trying - but she just can’t see the full picture, can’t acknowledge WHY she’s fighting WHY she’s pushing. But Nol is the other part of it, the understanding, but also fear. It’s not just Dieter that stops him. If she continues to deny that it means anything, if she continues to say it was nothing.... that hurts. It’s bad enough to have feelings - but for the person you like to deny them? GOD. ;A; 

At this point there’s a lot of conversations that need to be had, and i think I’m looking forward to (hopefully?!) seeing Nol and Dieter talk it out. I think as much as Dieter is hurt, I can’t see him as the kind of person who would stand in the way of his friends happiness. If they make each other happy, who is he to tell Nol to back off or something? Shinae is a person with agency who can make her own choices and if she comes to a realization that she reciprocates Nol’s feelings well.... he can’t really stop her just because she doesn’t like him. He’s not an incel alkfkjafjaf lmao I don’t think it’s the kind of thing that would make him hate either of them. 

I’ve said it before but Dieter loves Nol, too, so he can understand why Shinae would fall for him. And likewise, as a person who likes Shinae, I’m sure he can understand how Nol would unintentionally fall. There’s a lot that’s happened between Nol and Shinae that Dieter doesn’t know about - the things that draw them together, that make them reach out to one and other. I think he can probably get that sense - there’s just SOMETHING ELSE there that isn’t with him and Shinae. 

I like to think Dieter might encourage Nol, or at the very least perhaps tell him to stop pushing people away. That one of these days he’ll push and she won’t come back and can he really live with that? While Dieter doesn’t know as much as Shinae, he at least seems to have the sense that there’s a profound depth to Nol, that there’s a lot of pain (as evidenced between him and Kousuke) and that his life hasn’t been as easy as Yeonggi made it look, so maybe he, too, will what it means for Nol to open up, to really truly fall for someone who feels the same as him. Who is he to deny their happiness, just because it makes him hurt? 

On the other hand, a part of me dreads Dieter and Shinae talking because WHEW BOY we know it’s going to hurt either way it goes. Will she deny her feelings about Nol, try to continue to write them off as friendship because it scares her, because she’s so afraid of losing him that she’s willing to swallow them down, because she doesn’t want it to get in the way? Even if she did, Dieter would see through it. I think now that he’s seen it, really seen it at play, he knows he can’t keep pretending. That’s why he’s distanced himself. If she were to try to play the card that it meant nothing wouldn’t he get more upset that she’s lying? God it just feels like a painful conversation ;___; And if she’s honest with him, if she sets him straight that she should have been clearer, that she hurt him, it just makes it hurt more AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH 

JUST AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

All that said, I love how good of a subversion of “why does my kokoro go dokidoki”. It’s not that Shinae is naïve - it’s that she’s inexperienced and scared. It’s that she hasn’t had the time to process, it’s that she has this mix of feelings that she’s had no time to sort them out and untangle them. For so long she held people at arm’s length and now her heart is too full! And because it’s subverting that trope, I don’t think we’ll see it drawn out for a terribly long time, and she’ll put on her big girl pants and try to make it right. Right now she’s afraid to rock the boat. She’s been hurt so many times by people, she doesn’t want to be the one who hurts others, she doesn’t want to be the one who inflicts pain. But I think when she realizes the truth, she’ll realize that trying to ignore it causes more pain, drawn out. That’s what Nol is getting at. That as long as she doesn’t definitively have feelings, it only hurts. It drags out Dieter’s pain every time he thinks there’s a chance. It drags out Nol’s pain, that she can’t sort out the feelings. 

I love so much that Shinae cares about peoples’ feelings - especially because in the beginning she so badly wanted to believe she doesn’t care if people think she’s a bitch. She’s so empathetic and caring! But at some point we have to realize that avoiding a problem only makes it worse. It’s so much better to be up front and get it out of the way. Dieter won’t be able to heal until the wound stops getting ripped open. He WILL be okay, he WILL get over. But it won’t happen until she makes things clear. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS SO MANY FEELINGS I HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT NOL’S RESOLVE BUT I’M SAVING THAT FOR A SEPARATE POST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS 

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #Stalkyoo #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Nol #Dieter Becker-Wulff #Shieter #WHAT MORE CAN I SAY I AM BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS OKAY I JUST HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS I WILL BE BACK TONIGHT WITH MORE THOUGHTSSSSSSSSS #gonna keep the tags short this time because i'm just completely feral RARRLKAJRJAJRRRRrr

[mitsies]

; geto suguru x gn reader angst, est relationship, mentions of death/blood, canon-typical violence, slight spoilers for gojo's past arc

imagine geto suguru asking you to join him when he revolts against jujutsu society.

it happens before his mission where he will inevitably decimate his home village. he lays out all his plans so plain and clear and you are silenced because he's really going to do this.

he's going to do this and he wants you by his side.

you feel shaken and hurt and revulsed and a little intrigued and that makes you ache even more. despite the severe nature of this situation, your mind wanders, perhaps an inutile defense mechanism.

(somewhere in the world, a baby is probably crying. you wonder if it will be okay.)

you'd been closest to geto since day one of school. the two of you were thick as thieves, lovers from a movie, soulmates, to say it plainly.

but then the death of that poor little girl who never had a chance occurred and the person you'd fallen in love with had flickered out of existence. you knew why but couldn't do much but watch helplessly as your other half began to fade.

this was the first real conversation the two of you had shared in days and you're honestly also a little relieved because a sick, twisted part of you is grateful that he hasn't forgotten you after all.

"what do you say?"

his voice was a quiet whisper, hardly audible but at the same time far, far too loud in the little space of your dorm room. the hour was late and everyone else must be asleep. faintly, you wonder what your nightmares would conjure if you were to sleep tonight.

you look at him and his face is unreadable, just as it had been since riko died. but a flicker of something flits through his eyes when he meets yours and you feel like you know the answer.

SHOULD YOU SAY YES ;

"i did say i'd always stick with you, didn't i?"

his expression cracked into a grin and his eyes lit up and you felt so sick to your stomach that you had to purse your lips into a grimace.

but before you know it he is kissing you into a smile and his hands are in your hair and you can't breathe and you can't tell if it's okay to cry because geto is here and he is back. he's back, you force yourself to repeat.

the geto suguru you had fallen in love with is back, and is kissing you, and therefore you could not feel too bad for the cost you will incur.

your shut your eyes and let him resume his conversation, and you feel so repulsed with how he falls back into talking about mundane things as if he was not just scheming to kill a whole village.

(somewhere in the world, a baby is crying.)

you cannot focus on his words anymore. you imagine the blood on your hands and on your face and your neck and you imagine how it would run down your cheek when it mixes with your tears.

but then you look up at him, at suguru, and you see his half smile as he converses with no one and you suddenly feel a vast forever of emptiness closing in on you.

his eyes are on his phone screen as he searches for a video he meant to show you and the room is getting so much colder and you swear that the sky will fall at any second.

because when you look at geto suguru, you do not recognize him. but it is too late to turn back, and soon there will be blood on both of your hands.

(somewhere in the world, a baby is crying, and it is all your fault.)

SHOULD YOU SAY NO ;

"is there any way i can change your mind?"

geto's face falls, ever so slightly. you think that he thinks you didn't notice.

"not a chance."

the silence rang too loudly in your tiny room, and both of you were hyperaware of how your hand reached out for his. he let you take it, watching the way you clasped his scarred palm between his own absentmindedly.

"when do you leave?"

your voice was somber and geto could taste blood as he bit his tongue. he didn't mean for his face to betray his emotions. he was usually good at hiding how he felt. but your grip tightened and his eyes squeezed shut and he pulled away and stood from his spot on the floor.

you watched as his conviction crumbled as he looked at you so plaintively and you realized that this was geto now, a bundle of pain and hurt and grief who had been taken from nothing and abused to greatness, and you realized that he was already too far gone.

but still, he began to plead with you, and your heart fractured into a thousand pieces.

"you're joking, right?"

(somewhere in the world, a baby is crying for its mother. she doesn't hear him.)

"you're lying to me. you have to be."

still, you maintain your silence. but then he's down on the ground again and cupping your face and you're forced to look straight into his eyes and you see years and years of depravation and again, you feel ill.

he is almost begging now, as he says your name like a prayer and looks at you like you're a god who he needs- and maybe that last part is true.

"come with me," he is not crying but his voice cracks like he is, "please, please."

"i'm sorry," is all you can say.

at some point, he leaves. you don't know when- your eyes are out of focus and you have long since tuned out suguru's pleas. it is silent in the dorm rooms and you find yourself wondering if he's already on his way to the village.

that thought sobers you. there are people who will die tonight should you stay still. you doubt that you could stop geto's actions in any universe, but you could try. in some ways, you have aided the creation of this monster- and it will forever be your purpose now to try and stop him.

(somewhere in the world, a baby is crying. its mother will be home soon.)

#getou suguru x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu geto #getou #geto suguru x reader #getou suguru #jujutsu kaisen getou #getou suguru angst #getou suguru x you #getou suguru fluff #jjk suguru #suguru getou #geto #geto fluff #geto x y/n #suguru geto #jujustu kaisen #jjk #reader insert

[cursed-princess-club]

if you don't mind me asking, could you rank these "couples" from most to least likely to end up together in the final?

Maria and Blaine

Lorena and Lance

Gwen and Frederick

Nell and Jolie

Jamie and Leopold

Whitney and Prez

Saffron and Syrah (I'm helpless with names i'm pretty sure that's not how it's written)

7am for me on a weekend just woke up im still in bed and yeah sure why not lol

story-wise, i don't feel like any plaid/pastel ships will necessarily end up together. their mutual crushes are very canon and a plot point with gwen's self image slowly becoming dependent on how frederick sees her, and frederick learning how to care about himself and fight for what he believes in. gwen is kind of one of his first friends i'd say, they do like each other a lot, but my intuition tells me it'd be left ambiguous or with them taking time off deciding to be friends for now, and i would honestly love that. 1. Friendship is AWESOME and doesn't mean less than a romantic relationship!! so 2. just think it'd be cool... Frederick's whole arc is motivated by Gwen, and the message of him doing all this just for the fact he cares about her and NOT just to get with her, and him being just as happy that they're friends as much as he'd be happy if they kissed at the end of the fight or something. Epic

the farthest i could see their relationship going is some future flash forward where they're just casually together, or one of them approaches each other and is like "could we try this again?" otherwise i see gwen and frederick taking their relationship slow ever since the gala incident. Could also be completely wrong. 6/10 chance in my book

after the Gala Shebang, i think any infatuation maria felt for blaine has wiped away and i just can't see them ending up together together in the story, and having it make sense. Maybe like. 30 years in the future?? cause i could see maria dating around. Never text your ex when you're drunk type situation.

lorance: ...maybe.? I'll have to watch a little more and see what my brain tells me. so far im feeling they end up friends bc adore their friendship tbh. I'll have to see till after the siege, they very much so care about each other though!

jellie: Yes (just a hunch)

syron: ambiguous. a specific scenario suited towards their relationship . i feel it in my bones. epilogue where saff confesses and sy's just like haha. WAIT WHAT??? 7/10

leomie: Yes. their confession is in my top 3 for cpc. No words. Undescribed. I. I cannot express,

calwhit: feel like it'd stay unrequited on whitney's end but they'd be a great qpr! prez being romance avoidant and such 😎 (aro lore tbh)

#cursed princess club #cpc thoughts #cpc asks #gwendrick #mariaine #marine #??? #forgot #lorance #jellie #syron #calwhit #love being the guy who coined 80% of the fandoms ship names on tumblr #idk what theyre doing in the comments sections #cpc meta #predictions #analysis #cpc analysis #gonna go close my eyes now #cookie prophet momenta

[trainsinanime]

Okay, I apologize, but I don't understand all these complaints about Ladynoir and Adrienette. The problem here is not whether people like Adrienette or not, but that everyone portrays Adrien purely as an accessory to Ladynoir. Maybe I'm surprising someone with this, but Adrienette is no less important than Ladynoir; it's just that their interactions are more frequent due to the "Monster of the Week" formula, while Adrien's appearances on the screen are limited to show how Gabriel isolates him. And now all of this is starting to be resolved.

To be honest, I have many questions about your reasoning. You mentioned complex feelings between them, but the problem is that there are none. Chat Noir simply decided to move on (we saw how he started distancing himself from his feelings after the illusion in "Jubilation," and in "Elation," he even explained why). His pushed behavior towards Ladybug has always been portrayed as a character flaw, considering that it sometimes led to negative consequences, which was character development. Ladybug also decided to move on as a result of everything that happened in "Elation." Therefore, there can't be any romantic complications between them at the moment.

I also don't see the show ever stating that they cannot be together because they don't know each other's secret identities. It's more about the fact that they cannot be together because Gabriel is trying to prevent it. Let's not forget that there are other couples with secret identities in the show as well.

In any case, I believe that going the Adrienette route is the right path. Going the Ladynoir route would be a step back due to a series of circumstances depicted in canon, which puts both characters' development in a corner at this stage (I could elaborate, but it would turn into a whole article). It's also not a bad thing that, despite everything happening in the second arc of the story, Ladynoir won't be together until the reveal. After all, they are still the same people. The way the Love Square is treated in the fandom, as if LS is just "Ladynoir and friends," can be quite tiresome. The hints that it will start with Adrienette were there from Season 1. It's as if people couldn't imagine that progress in romantic relationships would happen outside of Ladynoir, and now they're genuinely surprised by the outcome.

I apologize if my response seemed rude. I didn't intend to be rude. I primarily wrote that because I was surprised that you expected the collapse of Adrienette within three episodes. I understand that everyone was expecting the reveal, but it's based on the assumption that their romantic progress had to happen as Ladynoir.

Hi, thanks for the response, and don't worry, I don't think it's rude at all. That said, I disagree with parts of it.

I think you misunderstand a key part of what I was trying to say (I probably could have worded it better). I don't think either Adrinette or Ladynoir are better. I don't think "romantic progress has to happen as Ladynoir". My point is that before season 5 (even before Kwami's Choice), I thought romantic progress would involve both sides somehow. Because that is how the show has worked so far.

You're saying that post-elation, there are no complex feelings between Ladynoir. That is exactly my problem: There should be complex feelings between them! But then there just aren't any. It's very anticlimactic that both of them just go, "oh well", and move on. Frankly, between you and me, I think it's boring.

But perhaps more importantly, I think it's weird. Their feelings have grown and changed and deepened so much over the school year that lasted eight years, and that's it? They can just move on like that? It's not causing them any sleepless nights where they're wondering about their feelings? That is very surprising to me.

Aside: Chat Noir moving on from Ladybug is not good character development. For one, his crush on her was never actually a problem in itself, just the way he went about expressing it, and even that only rarely. Even if it were a problem, "moving on" isn't actually character growth. Adrien doesn't learn anything new or change his behaviour now that he's in love with Marinette, she just reciprocates his feelings. He's still the same guy as before.

Anyway, back on topic: The Love Square never used to be "Adrinette plus some other stuff", and it didn't use to be "Ladynoir plus some other stuff". It was a finely tuned balance, where the things happening as Ladynoir mattered as much as the things happening as Adrinette, but nothing was ever just a simple mirror. Adrinette grow closer, Ladynoir grow closer. Ladynoir fight and reunite, Adrinette have their own issues to solve. And most importantly, Adrinette was impossible because Ladynoir was standing in the way, and Ladynoir was impossible because Adrinette was standing in the way.

(By the way, the show actually did specifically say that they can't be together because of secret identities. Ladybug specifically told Chat Noir she can't be with him because there's someone else, in Glaciator. Adrien told Plagg and Marinette that he can't be in love with Marinette because he's in love with Ladybug, in Weredad. I'm not sure why you blame Gabriel.)

Season 5 threw that whole thing completely off balance, by literally just deleting Ladynoir for two episodes. If they had done the same thing the other way, e.g. if they had a two-parter instead where Adrien and Marinette decide they have to be in costume at all times and then started dating as Ladynoir, and then just forget about Adrinette, that would have had the exact same problems.

#miraculous ladybug

[stoshasaurus]

right. I need to add some fucking context to this.

My current pfp in one of my discord servers is one of my recent drawings of Felwinter. I was talking about my desire to go out and get donuts this morning, particularly a banana Bismarck (basically a banana-flavored Boston cream donut, if you asked me to sum it up) from this local donut shop. I expressed that I enjoy having characters as my pfp because I imagine that they are saying my words, and it made me wonder how Felwinter would feel about donuts for breakfast, and banana bismarcks. I promised that once I had returned from my expedition to acquire said donuts, that I would write a short snippet about Felwinter eating a banana Bismarck.

So, here it is. An extremely silly, probably HIGHLY inaccurate mini-fic about Shaxx bringing Felwinter donuts for breakfast.

Disgustingly sweet (both literally and figuratively) Felshaxx fluff ahead.

Felwinter only finds himself sleeping in when he is visiting Shaxx. The Iron Lord never sleeps at all; he doesn’t need to, and there is always work to be done. He often finds himself quite busy in the evenings, scouring submind data or organizing lessons for his new student, activities that he obsesses over long after dusk, when any ordinary man would retire for the night. But endless work and looming threats be damned, Shaxx has an absurdly comfortable bed, with far too many pillows and a mattress so soft that Felwinter’s frame sinks immediately into it like a stone in a pond. He’d never known he needed a soft bed with a mountain of pillows. It has become one of the millions of little things he looks forward to when it comes to visiting his beloved in the Last Safe City of Humanity

His infrequent holiday stays in the City have been growing in length recently. In the past, he was lucky to have a single evening to himself to spend, a few scant hours spent being shown all of the spectacular things Shaxx detailed to him in his letters. Now, he is allotted more time, sometimes a week or more, once or twice a month. There was never any announcement made; Felwinter highly suspects that Radegast had been pestered into lessening the burdens of his duties by those few nosy Lords who had deciphered his unspoken relationship with Shaxx. Absolute wretches, all of them. He cannot complain.

He sleeps in more frequently now; Shaxx wakes earlier than him, often unable to step away from his post for longer than a few hours. But he never leaves without soft murmurs goodbye and a few kisses pressed to his face. Felspring teases him relentlessly when he finds himself brushing his hand over where Shaxx’s had been. He swats at her before dozing off for the next hour or so, Arc energy buzzing across his frame long after the Warlord has gone, soft flickers of static mimicking well-known, well-loved fingertips.

When he does finally wake up, it is to a still-empty house. If he makes a small noise of disappointment, he will never admit to it. He makes the bed, dresses himself, and opens the windows to let the sun and the air in, admiring the cityscape in the distance. It truly is as marvelous as Shaxx had made it out to be. A place where flowers bloom and birds sing, and Lightless people sleep without guns in their hands. Shaxx had entrusted Felwinter (and Felwinter alone. Oh, isn’t that a precious thought?) with a small, messy manuscript of hand-written poetry. Felwinter had smiled as Shaxx asked for his aid in revising it, hiding his apprehension in his hands as he wrung them, his feet as he shuffled them, his eyes as he averted them from his face. The very same manuscript lay on the kitchen counter, pockmarked with notes and bookmarks, the pages marked with fresh ink in the margins where Felwinter had endlessly praised Shaxx’s prose (in a much more legible script). Where words often failed the Iron Lord, his writing never did. He confessed his love through paragraphs of detailed interpretation and literary analysis. Poetry of his own.

Felwinter is in the process of writing more notes in the manuscript when Shaxx finally returns to the house. Felwinter turns to greet him– there is a tray of twin coffee cups in one hand and a small box cradled in the other, another bag tucked in his elbow.

Shaxx’s Ghost graciously removes the man’s helmet in time for him to press a kiss to his forehead. “Morning,” he rumbles as he deposits his goodies on the counter.

Felwinter absorbs the matching icons printed on the bag and the box. Some kind of bakery, evidently. He shuts the manuscript and sets it aside, taking one of the cups when Shaxx hands it to him. “Good morning,” he replies. “How goes the Crucible?”

“Astoundingly boring. I have no exciting clips to share.” The man sounds almost wounded. Felwinter curses whichever Guardian neglected to throw enough grenades to elicit excitement in the Crucible Handler. “The new Lights tend to try their luck during the summer months. I almost feel bad watching them get decimated by some of our veteran fireteams.”

“One would think the loss would motivate them to try harder.”

Shaxx laughs as he opens the box and examines its contents, out of Felwinter’s line of sight. “It does! That’s the thing about the newly Risen. They haven’t learned what quitting is yet.”

Felwinter does not protest when Shaxx plucks something out of the box and presses it insistently into his hand. It is a soft pastry, glazed with a sweet white frosting and sprinkled with what looks like chunks of cookies. Shaxx grabs an identical item out of the box, but his eyes are on Felwinter rather than the thing in his hand.

The Iron Lord puzzles over it, tilting it carefully so as not to spill the toppings, and stares at Shaxx. “What is this?”

“It’s a donut.” He shrugs with one shoulder. “It’s called a Bismarck. A banana Bismarck, to be exact.” He sounds overly proud of himself as he tilts his chin triumphantly. Felwinter huffs at the display.

Felspring hovers over his shoulder, studying the treat curiously. Felwinter wishes that she had a mouth so she could try it herself. In her stead, he slowly takes a bite, watching Shaxx mirror him with equal trepidation. He cranes his neck over the counter and cups his hand under the Bismarck, making sure no debris falls to the floor. The kitchen is flooded with an oddly pregnant silence as they chew thoughtfully in tandem with one another.

Felwinter signifies the end of his chewing and swallowing with “It’s good.”

“I concur,” Shaxx says. He is still chewing, and the words are muffled as he cleverly keeps his mouth as closed as possible. Crumbs speckle the corners of his lips. “Very sweet.”

“Obscenely,” he remarks. Shaxx barks a laugh.

Felwinter takes another bite. He feels like something, a loose screw, or a damaged cog, clicks back into place. He plucks a cookie off of the top of the thing and pops it into his mouth. It crunches loudly in the metal hollow of his mouth, and the sound drowns out every other thought in his head. Shaxx chuckles at him again, looking very strangely infatuated, and Felwinter cannot stop the lights that dot his chest and his neck from flickering in diffidence.

When his mouth dries up from consuming the pastry, Felwinter reaches for the coffee. It is strong, straight black just the way he likes it, and pleasantly hot rather than scalding. He drinks deeply and feels his plates thaw from the warmth of it, his mouth, his throat, his chest, and his stomach, each system absorbing it individually. The bitterness is a perfect complement to the sweetness of the Bismarck. Shaxx watches him overtly, an earnest tenderness visible in his eyes, unhurried anticipation visible in his open posture. Silently, he seeks appraisal.

“It’s very good,” Felwinter murmurs. All of the words he knows feel inadequate to describe his feelings, so he resorts to simplicity instead. “Thank you.”

Shaxx physically sags against the counter with what Felwinter assumes is relief. An uncharacteristically bashful grin pulls at the corners of his mouth. “I’m glad. I wasn’t sure you’d like it.”

The Exo’s eyes sparkle with his version of a coy smile. “Do I not strike you as the type to enjoy banana-flavored sweets, Lord Shaxx?”

“No, Fel. Not at all.”

As if to prove him wrong, he takes another bite of the Bismarck. It is so sickeningly sweet that he is afraid it will somehow rot his metal mouth.

——

Playing Nice has ruined my fucking life. I’m so sorry.

#writing #for ONCE #I never fucking post my writing here my god #destiny #destiny 2 #destiny the game #felwinter #iron lord felwinter #lord felwinter #shaxx #lord shaxx #felshaxx #I LITERALLY LOVE THEM SO MUCH #LIKE OBSESSIVELY #they’ve been on my mind for the past few weeks I cannot lie

[jessread-s]

Thanks to @ireadyabooks for providing me with an e-ARC in exchange for an honest review

✩💌💻Review:

This is the second ya rom-com I have read by Ann Liang and I cannot get enough of her writing! 

“I Hope This Doesn’t Find You” follows Sadie Wen, the perfect student who channels all her frustrations into her email drafts. While some are addressed to her teachers and classmates, most are directed at her infuriating co-captain Julius Gong. When they are accidentally sent out, her carefully crafted reputation begins to crumble. But amidst the chaos, the one boy she is sworn to hate begins to fall for her true self. 

I have never connected with a character as deeply as I connect with Sadie Wen. I felt so seen by her need to be perfect and her people-pleaser tendencies. Julius calls her out for being fake, because she never allows herself to express how she truly feels, and she undergoes so much growth because of it. I loved seeing her begin to prioritize herself towards the end.

Julius and Sadie’s relationship is top tier. The pace of the romance in this book is so deliciously slow with the most satisfying pay-off. Liang takes her time in establishing their decade old rivalry, even going so far to explain its origins and the point system attributed to it. It felt so real and her gradual blurring of the line between loathing and love is so well done. I especially enjoyed reading the contents of Sadie’s emails after Julius committed them to memory because they are what made them both come to the realization that they were meant for each other.

Cross-posted to: Instagram | Amazon | Goodreads | StoryGraph

#i hope this doesn't find you #ann liang #sadie wen #julius gong #academic rivals to lovers #rivals to lovers #ya contemporary #contemporary romance #ya romance #forced proximity #slow burn #booklr #book blog #book blogger #book review #young adult literature #young adult books #young adult #romance books

[mandaloriandragontrainer]

The Problem with Rayllum

Here is my promised salt post about my issues with how Callum and Rayla's relationship and individual characters were written in season 4. I know a lot of people really enjoyed the season, so please feel free to skip. I have no idea how long this is going to be since I intend to ramble until I've gotten all the Big Feelings off my chest. I still love the show (arc 1 will always be one of my favorite stories), and I adore these two and their precious relationship... it's one of my top two OTPs of all time. I want to see them happy, but I also want their characters done justice.

First off, a lot of my issues could potentially be resolved by what happens in season 5 onward, and I truly hope this is what happens. I want to be able to look back on season 4 and see it as part of the whole picture, even if I seriously doubt it will ever be one of my favorite seasons (right now it's for sure my least favorite). I went in with a lot of hope and faith in the writers, and I'm going to be watching season 5 with a lot more caution.

For starters, Callum. This sweet boy was dealt a devastating blow that fundamentally changed him as a person, but 4x01 makes it abundantly clear that he's still deeply in love with Rayla, to the point that he can't even be happy on his own birthday because of how achingly he misses her. When she abruptly reappears in his life, his reaction is realistic. He's cold and distant and makes it clear he does not want to talk to her. If anything, he seems annoyed that she showed up. But as he says later on, the two emotions he immediately felt were happiness and anger. We see the former at the very end of the finale, but basically none of the latter. Instead, he spends the entire season icing Rayla out, turning down her multiple attempts at getting him to talk with her. And I can't help but wonder why. Does he not want to get angry at her? Because boy, he needs to. He has EVERY RIGHT to be furious with her, for leaving him behind and never letting him know she was okay and then randomly popping up in his study in the middle of the night without so much as an apology (more on that later). This is what I expected and hoped for going into season 4... that he would snip at her for a while, leading up to a confrontation where all the Big Feelings come out. He needs to let himself be angry, to shout and scream and let out two whole years of hurt, because I'm not convinced Rayla understands just how deeply she wounded him. But instead, he just seemed... indifferent, if not mildly irritated by her, ignoring her flirtacious remarks (or icily shutting them down) and turning away her efforts at a conversation.

Speaking of Rayla... GIRL WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN AND WHY DID YOU JUST NOW DECIDE TO COME BACK!?!?! I'm honestly flabbergasted by how they approached Rayla this season. Through the Moon and "Dear Callum" were such lovingly crafted looks into her psyche, and all that just fell flat on its face. I still really loved seeing her this season, but they did not address the fallout of her decision at all, and she seemed more or less unchanged by it. In "Dear Callum," she expresses her belief that she very likely may not come back, and despite how desperately she longs to stay, she cannot return until she knows for certain that Viren is dead and therefore Callum is safe (that's another issue... she says she was after "revenge," but TTM and "Dear Callum" show that her main motivation was protecting Callum). But she never found Viren, or any proof of his demise. So why come back? Why go two whole years and then randomly decide to give up? The first words out of Callum's mouth after her name are, "Why are you here?" She offers no explanation beyond, "I came back." Girl why? What happened? Why did you change your mind, when your self-appointed mission isn't complete? Especially when, as far as I can tell, she doesn't understand that what she did was wrong. That's why, despite acknowledging that her leaving was painful for Callum, she doesn't apologize. Because in her mind, there's nothing to apologize for. She did it because she loves Callum, therefore it's right. But then again, why apologize to Ezran and not to Callum?

That's another reason I think Callum needs to fully express his anger at Rayla, not only for his own healing but to show Rayla how wrong she was, that he may be safe physically, but his heart has been shattered beyond repair. That he's no longer the same sweet, open-hearted boy she left behind entirely by her own doing. She seems to have some awareness that she tossed their relationship away ("We had something so special"), but for the most part expects to pick up where they left off, hinting at wanting to cuddle him and go on walks alone and receive his attention the way she used to (kind of strange, considering how terrified she was in her letter that he would hate her for this). Ezran even acknowledges how much she's trying to get things back to they way they were. But she can't, not without understanding the gravity of her actions. I need season 5 to demonstrate how Rayla's journey changed her, because right now it seemed to have very little impact. Again, most of this can be fixed by future seasons, if they take the time to explain just what happened to Rayla during her time alone and what motivated her to suddenly return. And I'm decently confident it will, since clearly there's going to be a lot of Moonfam drama going down.

As for the Rayllum relationship, I was initially upset that there was no romance, especially with how it was hyped up in the marketing and after reading so many wonderful fics. After sleeping on it, I realized that's not my problem with it. It makes perfect sense that they wouldn't be ready to snuggle and kiss again yet. Most of my issues stem from the points addressed above, that Callum treated her so coldly instead of telling her how he felt and that Rayla expected to resume their romance without an apology or explanation (and dang, it was painful to watch him reject her, like a knife in my heart). A lot of their interactions were just... weird, as Soren put it. She sweetly tells him he was the best thing that ever happened to her (while he sleeps), then just... leaves and doesn't show up again until that night. Why? Where'd she go? What was she doing? She didn't think it might traumatize him to leave again while he slept, right after she came back? Lucky for her it didn't... which is even more weird. Callum doesn't even acknowledge Rayla's absence, or that she ever came back at all, upon waking up. She could've left for good again. That could've been the last time he ever saw her, and he's completely unfazed. Again... so, so weird coming from the lovelorn boy in 4x01. But one thing I just can't accept, that future seasons can't smooth out, was that when push came to shove, Callum let her go. Rayla sees Viren. Her worst fear, that impossible fear that drove her to abandon Callum for two years in the first place, is realized. Viren is alive, and this time, Callum knows it too. It makes sense to me that she'd go after him... this is her chance to complete her mission, to protect Callum once and for all. What doesn't make since, what I seriously doubt ever will, is that Callum lets her. This time, he knows she's right. He saw Viren with his own eyes! She's not chasing after a ghost, but a very real and very much alive dark mage who she nearly died fighting before. Yes, I think he was right to give her his blessing to fulfill her mission, but not in letting her go alone. Without him. He just got her back after two years! Two years of not knowing if she was dead or alive! Two years of misery and pining and feeling like his heart had been torn from his chest, and he just lets her do it again! This was his chance to prove to her that she was wrong, that they're stronger together, that they always have been. That she can't keep leaving him and breaking his heart, even if she thinks it's what's best for him. Particularly when there's a very good chance she could die. Callum has always called her out on her self-sacrificing tendencies in the past, but this time, when it matters most, nope. He lets her go without any argument. And then, he breaks down and sobs over her blade, believing she died in her efforts. Which was very sweet of course, and a much-need reassurance of the depths of his devotion to her, but honey??? You let her go, you let her run off alone to what would've been an impossible battle. What did you expect? I fear that had Rayla not gotten the coins, she would've continued chasing Viren and company instead of returning to the group, making it all for nothing. She's right back where she started.

There you have it. Most if not all of my salt over Rayllum in season 4. Thankfully, the season ended with Rayla wrapped in Callum's arms again, and the implication that he's ready to talk to her. But as much as I ravenously desire them to get back to the sweet, romantic, pitifully-in-love couple they were before, I need them to TALK. I need it to happen ON-SCREEN. I need Callum to vent all that heartache and betrayal, and I need Rayla to apologize, really apologize, and assure him that whatever they have to face in the future, they will face it together. I don't want Callum to forgive her while she thinks there's nothing to forgive, I don't want him trapped in an endless loop of abandonment and heartbreak, and I don't want Rayla left pining after the love of the man she's so hopelessly devoted to while he lets unspoken emotions continue to fester.

Let Callum voice his hurt. Let Rayla own up to her mistakes. Let them talk. Let them work through all the pain between them. Let them save each other's hearts and grow back into the precious love they've found. Please do my Rayllum right again.

#and give rayla a proper arc #oh and if they go with 'we're better as friends' and stick with it I'm quitting the show #because they ARE friends #they’re best friends who are in love #and the love they have doesn’t just go away #the dragon prince #the dragon prince: mystery of aaravos #tdp season 4 #tdp critical #callum #rayla #rayllum #callum x rayla #fandom salt #mando ramblo

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Rose Quartz

It’s all “more morally grey women in media!” but when the mom from the space rocks singing and crying show turns out to not be the saint she was made out to be in the early seasons, suddenly she’s The Real Villain Of the Show and a Bitch and all the good she did in liberating the gems and saving the earth is completely erased. Yes! She was a diamond! She did some evil shit without understanding the consequences! She was once entitled and bratty and unempathetic. She got a lot of people hurt! But she also gave all our gems their freedom! She gave up her status and family and slowly tried to fix all the damage the diamonds had caused. She didn’t have Steven as a means to escape her past, she had Steven because she saw in humans everything she always wanted to be- something free and forever changing. You are allowed to not forgive her but claiming her to be inherently evil even after all she went through is flat out wrong. Imo you all just cant handle a bbw.

So many people absolutely DESPISE Rose Quartz. The show showed her character arc in reverse order, and when the show started, she was seen as this perfect being who was wise and kind and a rebel hero and utterly flawless. But then we find out that she wasn't perfect, and she was one of the tyrannical Diamonds the show has as the main antagonists. She used to be a spoiled brat who threw tantrums, hurt one of her servants, and left her friend/plaything Spinel to stand in a garden for thousands of years. She discovered the beauty of earth and rebelled to save it from being destroyed, even faking the death of her Pink Diamond identity so the rebellion could win. She works her entire life to change and become a better person from who she was. Ultimately she gives up her gem and life so Steven could live before the show begins, and the show has Steven gradually learning about her. She is often hated and seen as a villain and worse than the other Diamonds, who are genocidal tyrants until the very end of the show.

Steven Universe shows Pink Diamond’s arc in reverse. At the beginning of the show, all the characters see Rose as this great hero, this perfect unimpeachable goddess, and over the course of the show we learn that this is a lie — Rose was just as flawed as anyone else, in many was immature, lied to all of her closest friends, was at times very cruel to her loved ones, and spent most of her life unlearning the privilege and entitlement and cruelty which her youth taught her. The last things we learn about Pink Diamond (her abandonment of spinel, her treatment of volleyball) are perhaps the worst things she ever does. But these are also some of the *earliest* things she ever does — this is where she STARTS, and we see in the show that Pink spends a lot of time trying not to be the person who did those things, even if she never undoes them, so that by the end of her life she’s far from perfect but is also in many many important ways not that person. Her decision to become Rose Quartz is in part an attempt to remake herself, to *not be* the childish, callously cruel pink diamond she is meant to be. And rose quartz *is* kind, and works to be good, but she cannot truly stop being that person. In the end, I think we are meant to understand that Rose Quartz decided to become Steven because she wanted to grow and improve in a way she felt that she couldn’t — she KNOWS that she isn’t a good person and can never truly be a good person, so she destroys herself so that Steven can be the good person she can’t be. And her decision to bring steven into the world caused a lot of pain, and maybe it was selfish, but it’s also a fascinating expression of Rose’s self-awareness about her own flaws!!!! I love Rose/Pink for how flawed she is and how much she tries not to be flawed. Anyway a large portion of the SU fandom thinks Pink Diamond is an irredeemable monster. So that’s cool.

Chara Dreemur

There's a lot of bias against Chara for appearing at the end of the Genocide Route, but there's so much more to them than "I want to murder everyone". They're a kid!! They made mistakes and they felt bad for them, and now they're stuck following the player and watching their every move... The fandom misrepresents them very badly imo

Somehow people forgive Asriel for everything he's done as a soulless being after his death, but when it comes to Chara, it's like they're the devil incarnate.

Chara is a character commonly seen as guilty for the genocide run or harmless disregarding them only appearing at the end and posioning Asgore

Poor kid called themselves a demon ONE TIME and then got misrepresented so badly as immoral killer with no sympathy

People constantly blame them for the worst ending of the game, even though the entire point of the game is that the player has a the opportunity to choose senseless violence and that it is the player's fault for killing the characters. They are a troubled child, and while they do some bad things, like taking the player's violent example at the end, most of what the fandom pins on them is in the hands of the player.

#misrepresented morally grey #round 2 #bracket b #steven universe #rose quartz #pink diamond #undertale #chara dreemur

[burst-of-iridescent]

the official zutara dissertation (p.4)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

So far, we have discussed why Zuko and Katara would have been a good couple, how the narrative set them up for a romance through symbolism, narrative arcs and theme, and rebutted the most frequent arguments for why they wouldn’t work. 

Now we turn to the last aspect of the show that, ironically, proves how great Zutara is as a ship: the canon romances. In this section, we will dissect the reasons that Katara and Aang do not work in canon, and how this helps to enhance the perfection of Zutara.

BOOK 4: THE TRAGEDY OF KATAANG 

1. Kataang is fundamentally imbalanced. 

There is no give-and-take between Katara and Aang. Katara is always the one giving emotional support while Aang is always the one taking without providing anywhere close to the same effort in return.

Katara pulls Aang out of the Avatar State when he is filled with rage and grief over the loss of his people (Book 1: The Southern Air Temple), and again when he is devastated about losing Appa (Book 2: The Desert). Katara encourages Aang when he thinks he cannot master earthbending (Book 2: Bitter Work), soothes his guilt over running away (Book 1: The Storm), and comforts him when he is worried about Bumi (Book 2: Return to Omashu), when he is hurting over Appa’s loss (Book 2: Journey to Ba Sing Se), and when he feels like he has failed after the fall of Ba Sing Se (Book 3: The Awakening).

These are just the notable scenes I could find, excluding the dozens of small moments Katara looks after Aang. In return, there are, at best, three moments where Aang gives her emotional support: briefly standing in solidarity with her against Pakku, as well as resting a hand on her shoulder after Jet dies, and when she breaks down after her fight with Hama. The third one, however, also has Sokka with an arm around her, so it can’t even be considered a moment where Aang is the only one to comfort her, as compared to every moment listed above where Katara is the only one to comfort Aang.

In fact, Aang is the only love interest Katara has in the show that never expresses sympathy for her loss of her mother. Every other male character Katara is romantically linked to in some way (Haru, Jet, Zuko) – has a moment of bonding with Katara over the deepest trauma of her life. But Aang, her canonical love interest, doesn’t even give Katara so much as an “I’m sorry” when he hears about her loss.

When the opportunity arises for Aang to actually support Katara in the Southern Raiders for once, he is instead preachy and judgemental (“What exactly do you think this will accomplish?” “Katara, you sound like Jet!” “You do have a choice. Forgiveness” “The monks used to say revenge is like a two-headed rat viper”)  and makes it all about him (“How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they took Appa?”) 

It is particularly insulting for Aang to compare Katara’s loss to his, not just because comparing grief is, frankly, insensitive, but also because Aang’s temporary loss of his animal companion is in no way comparable to Katara’s permanent loss of her mother. Comparing Katara to Jet, who Aang is fully aware manipulated her and broke her trust, is also an extremely hurtful and frankly inaccurate comparison to make. Instead of offering compassion and understanding to the girl he supposedly loves, Aang only makes things more difficult for her by deepening her hurt and anger. 

What makes this worse is the fact that Katara has never once treated Aang this way, offering him unconditional love and acceptance even when he goes into the Avatar State or yells at her (Book 2: The Desert), while Aang presumes to dictate to Katara how to handle her grief and her trauma. Katara gets no help from Aang in this entire episode, at her lowest moment, when she is most in need of it.

This is, in fact a pattern that lies at the core of Kataang. It is primarily slanted in Aang’s favour, allowing him to benefit far more from the relationship than Katara does. The two established canon benefits Aang provides Katara are that he is a means for her to achieve her dreams (since he enables her to travel) and that he gives her hope. That’s great, but it’s in no way exclusive to Katara.

As the Avatar, Aang provides hope to everyone in the world who wants to defeat the Fire Nation. The fact that he helps her to travel and learn waterbending is great, but it is a benefit she receives from his role as the Avatar and his flying bison, not Aang himself as a person. There is nothing that Aang as a character gives Katara that she cannot get from someone else, and in fact she frequently gets more from other characters. 

There was clearly an attempt at the start to establish that Aang helps Katara have fun and allows her to regain some of her lost childhood. This could have worked if it had actually been sustained, but it isn’t. Apart from one penguin sledding scene and one dance scene (which we’ll get into in the following section), Aang is just another person for Katara to look after, support and help, to her own detriment. 

Kataang does not work because the emotional labour of the relationship falls primarily and heavily on Katara, a character who is already burdened with being the caretaker for everyone else, and who has assumed this role since she was eight years old. The imbalance in this relationship is particularly damning given that it runs contrary to the show’s key theme of balance and harmony, especially when one partner is supposed to be the embodiment of balance and is the literal protagonist.

2. Katara and Aang are unable to see and accept each other for who they truly are. 

Aang’s idealization of Katara is fairly explicit, with multiple shots from his perspective where she is literally presented in slow motion and rose-tinted vision. This is a fairly common method of indicating romantic attraction in kids’ shows so I can let that slide, but the real problem is that Aang cannot, or will not, see and accept all of Katara. In fact, he tends to dismiss her anger and her darker side on multiple occasions: 

When Katara challenges Pakku to a fight (Book 1: The Waterbending Master), Aang tries to deter Katara by saying “Katara, you don’t have to do this for me!” He instantly assumes that the only reason Katara would indulge in such violent pursuits is for him, rather than her own rightful anger at the sexism she is facing, thus reframing the situation around his needs instead of hers. Furthermore, the fact that his instinctive response is to dissuade instead of supporting Katara, despite knowing that she has already tried the diplomatic route, proves how Aang is more focused on dismissing Katara’s anger than understanding that why it might be justified and even necessary. He only supports her when she makes it clear that she will not be deterred (a rather frequent pattern in their dynamic). 

When Katara is irritated at Toph for refusing to be a part of the group, and yells at her (Book 2: The Chase) Aang’s response is to go “No, she didn’t mean that!” (to which Katara actually says “Yes, I did!”). Instead of trying to validate Katara’s feelings to find a solution, Aang’s first response is to downplay or even erase her anger to play peacemaker. 

Aang notices that Katara is upset with her father (Book 3: The Awakening), yet never bothers to get to the bottom of it or helps her deal with it after she says she’s fine (even though she is clearly not fine). In contrast, when Katara notices that Aang isn’t acting like his usual self on the way to Ba Sing Se, she makes it a point to get to the root of the matter and tries to solve it. 

Aang says “You did the right thing. Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing” when Katara says that she did not kill Yon Rha (Book 3: The Southern Raiders), to which she frowns and tells him that she didn’t, and will never, forgive him. Aang still cannot see that his own beliefs are not what is best for Katara, that they take different views of anger and justice, and hers are just as valid as his. 

Aang is in love with a shallow version of Katara, with the kind, gentle girl who takes care of him. He cannot reconcile his view of her with the Katara that can also be vengeful, furious and merciless. Aang sees Katara’s rage and Katara’s softness as separate, when in reality one cannot exist without the other. Katara’s kindness and compassion is driven by her anger and righteousness, and vice versa. It is what compels her to challenge the sexism of the Northern Water Tribe, to stand up for the imprisoned earthbenders, to help the Fire Nation village. Katara’s anger is an intrinsic part of who she is, and while Aang usually helps her with the actions she takes as a result of that anger (since it does benefit people), he is never shown to understand it as a part of Katara. Instead, he mitigates, downplays, or when all else fails, ignores it entirely. 

Let it not be said, however, that Aang shoulders all the blame. 

Katara also falls victim to idealization, unable to separate Aang from the Avatar, the person she has pinned all her hopes of ending the war on. Katara’s unwavering faith in Aang blinds her to his faults – running away from his problems instead of confronting them, being too playful and careless when he needs to be serious, being selfish and self-centred at times. Every other major character has taken Aang to task for these flaws, either scolding him for his mistakes or challenging him, except Katara. 

When Aang burns Katara with his firebending due to his carelessness (Book 1: The Deserter), Sokka is the one to hold him to task for it. Katara, the one who was actually injured, and would have been permanently scarred, by his actions, brushes away his apology and tells him it’s okay. She does not scold him, or even express displeasure with him, despite the fact that she only got hurt because he blatantly refused to listen to her concerns or her advice. 

When Toph criticizes the way Aang is approaching earthbending (Book 2: Bitter Work), Katara is the one who tries to persuade Toph to adopt a softer teaching method. She coddles and comforts Aang when he is upset about his lack of success at earthbending, both refusing to push him and attempting to dissuade Toph from doing so as well. 

When Zuko scolds Aang for taking his training too lightly and challenges him (Book 3: Sozin’s Comet Part 1) Katara immediately leaps to Aang’s defense. Despite knowing Aang is nowhere near ready, and that the comet is approaching dangerously soon, Katara still excuses Aang instead of helping him to grow and do better. 

Even when Aang is actively in conflict with her decisions, Katara still refrains from attacking his and telling him why he is wrong. She only defends herself, and her own choices. The one and only time Katara ever calls Aang out on his flaws is when he refuses to kill the Fire Lord, a matter of global importance where the lives of thousands hang in the balance. Even then, however, her indomitable faith is unshaken, and she never once doubts he will return, despite his track record of fleeing from difficult tasks (which it looks like he has just done once again). 

Katara is never able to meaningfully challenge or confront Aang, usually enabling him when he actually needs to be pushed. This makes it impossible for Katara and Aang to meet each other as equals, which spells disaster not only for their interpersonal relationship but also for their future roles. As the Avatar, Aang needs a partner who can disagree with his decisions when necessary, who is capable of balancing out his worst qualities instead of enabling them, and can tell him when he is doing something wrong. Katara, at least in the show, is rarely (if ever) able to do this, and from whatever the comics and LOK tell us of their relationship... it seems clear that she never learned how to. 

The sad thing is that Kataang could have worked. They are both idealists and optimists, sometimes to the point of naivete. They are both the last of their respective bending disciplines. Katara could have helped Aang to grow and heal from his trauma, while Aang could have helped her rediscover some of the childish playfulness she lost with the death of her mother and take the weight off the world off her shoulders. 

Instead, the show created an imbalanced relationship that forced a teenage girl to play caregiver with no reciprocation, one where both parties saw the other through rose-tinted glasses instead of understanding and accepting them for who they really were. 

Ironically, therefore, Katara’s canonical romance only serves to improve Zutara, as the imbalance and shallowness of Kataang perfectly juxtaposes and highlights the beautiful harmony, intimacy and depth that Zuko and Katara have in comparison.

#zutara #anti kataang #aang critical #the official zutara dissertation

[mob-choir]

by the time the seventh division arc concludes no one can deny that it's clear just how much reigen cares about mob and how far he'll go to protect him, but even so in the day-to-day of the anime and the manga he always maintains an air of professionalism about him. like yes, he loves mob and will always be there for him when he needs him, but unless the situation really calls for emotional honesty reigen will first and foremost act like mob's boss. a supportive boss who occasionally gives him advice, but a boss nonetheless. he's just not that demonstrative unless it's a serious situation.

the stage play on the other hand really said fuck that and made reigen SO much more openly affectionate. paternal, even. the head pats, the arm slung over his shoulders. the way he kept pushing mob (and ritsu, and teru, and even shou) behind him and shielding him with his body during the seventh division fight even though objectively mob was the person least likely to get hurt in that situation. the way he spent a full minute blowing on his takoyaki to cool it down then immediately swapped it with mob's still hot one so he wouldn't burn himself (even though reigen's the one with a history of burning himself with his food, not mob). all these little, almost subconscious gestures that just SCREAM "parent". hell, have you seen him whenever mob does anything? he's always got the proudest look on his face. stage play reigen's default facial expression is "that's my son and I'm SO proud of him" and it's honestly so endearing. he looks like he's one step away from proudly telling you all about how well mob is doing in school.

manga reigen and anime reigen love mob just as much as stage play reigen does, that's undeniable. but while in the anime and manga he doesn't usually show it as openly, stage play reigen just. cannot hide it, or simply doesn't care to. I don't think I would want him to be as open in the original, I think his insistence in maintaining a professional distance (at least in everyday situations) ties in with his fear of mob finding out the truth about reigen and seeing him for who he really is, no masks on. and, as such, it's an integral part of their dynamic and the story. but damn if the choice to make him more open in the stage play, which is altogether much more lighthearted, wasn't an excellent one. it makes me so emotional, they fed us so well. that's his kid, and he's so proud of him 😭😭

#mob psycho 100 #mp100 #reigen arataka #can you tell I just finished watching the third stage play #that final scene they added really got to me 😭 #'I don't know anyone stronger than you. thank you for everything' #'don't be silly I'm a commoner. we all are. we all suffer and worry... but equally... we laugh and have fun too' #what if I lie here inconsolably for the next six hours huh 😭 what then #post.txt