#i did it literally every other time

[sparkdoesart]

Ughhhhhhudhdudhtsgh

Have them,,,

So tired

No motivation but whatever

#i wanna do a lot of things but i just cant #probably going to have to walk in and tell them i have nothing. #again. #whatever #i did it literally every other time #ill get by at the least #my art #its ryan and min but im not gonna tag that #i suppose this is more vent art but i hate tagging it #i hate posting it #i dont want to make you guys feel bad or something idk #hm #ry is another character that i relate a lot to #at least i know what that means now #it was the same thing with marcy #friends and shit #what am i saying anymore #im just gonna post it

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[theygender]

The more I learn about judaism the more I wonder where tf christianity got all its bad shit. Why is divorce a sin in christianity when judaism has recognized the right to divorce for nearly a millennia and has codified religious laws for it. Why does christianity consider sex to be dirty (to the point where puritans considered it a sin to enjoy having sex with your own spouse) when in judaism it's considered holy and it's a literal mitzvah to have sex with your spouse on the sabbath. Why does christianity consider it a sign that you're faithless if you question your religion when in judaism that's considered an essential part to developing your faith. I'm probably stating the obvious here but I still can't get over the fact that there's no historical basis to any of this shit before christianity started, it's like christians just said "hey guys what if we took the torah and built a new religion around it but this time it was actively hostile to human life"

#rambling #disclaimer this isnt about individual christians im speaking about the religious trauma i experienced in my own life etc etc #these are just a few examples that I've noticed but they're definitely something #the part about sex in particular shocked me bc sex is pretty much viewed as actively evil in a lot of christian denominations #like you should only do it to create children and if you take pleasure in it (even if its with your own spouse) youre a dirty sinner #there arent as many examples like this nowadays but if you read puritan laws about sex it's like #you're allowed to have sex with your wife basically 10 times a year but you have to be fully clothed with the lights off #and you cant have sex on a holiday or a sunday and you cant touch each other and you have to try as hard as possible to hate it #literally WHERE did that mindset come from?? like for real #in judaism having sex with your spouse is basically considered a celebration of everything holy #and if you have sex on the sabbath (the holiest day in the jewish calendar—above every holiday) #its considered TWICE as holy #make it make sense #this is one of the things people mean when they say that lumping judaism in with christianity as 'abrahamic' religions is meaningless #theyre literally nothing alike #the only similarity is the torah but thats only half of the christian bible and one third of the jewish one #AND christianity interprets most of it completely differently from how judaism does #im tired #greatest hits #hall of fame

[ruporas]

i’ll find you again in every universe. let us be a little more honest, let us have a little more time.

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #despite it all though badlands rumble is like. the only universe where we get wolfwood thinking vash died first... and i think that means a #lot to their relationship and how it may bloom if there was more to badlands rumble considering vash literally saw wolfwood carrying a piece #of vash after his supposed death. u know! despite the short time they were together vash still meant so much to wolfwood that he couldn't #just move on or forget him in anyway. needed to keep a piece of him for himself and the rest of his days. but ofc vash lives and wolfwood #was like ill beat ur fucking ass into tomorrow. there's just so much honesty in vash being able to see that gesture bc he wouldnt know #otherwise just how much he might mean to him. ANYWAY. trimax with with the eternal pining featuring the two chapters where imo #where the both of them really fell for each other... i wrote my thoughts about this on another comic i did before #but vash solidifying his feelings during the hospital arc -- ww solidifies his when he realizes his allegiances are permanently with vash #98 my lovelies but also to me they are so one-sided bc ww pined like no tomorrow and vash only realizes after ep 23?24? his heart did tickle #whenever ww complimented his smile though #and tristamp vw my beloveds. it really just feels like they get the chance to be closer and closer and more honest with each other #with every version that comes about. in trimax they knew how little time they had but struggled so desperately to get closer. in 98 ww felt #more willing to forsake for vash. in badlands rumble theyre Angry but as mentioned earlier ^ more blatant truth... due to circumstances #mainly but has the chance to lead to discussions and tristamp literally. first day of knowing each other ww saves vash - 2 days later vash #saves ww like. Man. AND NOW THEY MAY POTENTIALLY GET EVEN CLOSER!!!! with s2.... #ruporas art

[magnus-rhymes-with-swagness]

running around in circles. nimona and ballister. do you get it. she wakes up from a nightmare and immediately calms down when he comforts her because she trusts him. he quite literally jumps off a balcony because he knows she’ll catch him. she tells him what shapeshifting feels like. lets him bandage her leg. he’s absolutely overjoyed when he sees her again at the end. he goes from rejecting her to accepting her to begging her to come back to rejoicing when she does. not only does she come back to life but she comes back to HIM. to her HOME. SHE FINDS HIM AGAIN IN ANOTHER LIFETIME. SHE GOES BACK TO HIM ON PURPOSE. DO YOU GET IT.

#nimona #ballister blackheart #ballister boldheart #nimona movie #nimona netflix #nimona 2023 #nd stevenson #my words #CHEWING ON PLYWOOD #sorry i’m incapable of talking about nimona in my inside voice it will happen again #all she ever wanted was a home and a friend and he was just that 😭😭😭 #they trust each other so much…… #i like the book ending too but the movie ending is just so much more soft and forgiving #how could anyone say it was anti-climactic there was literally adrenaline pumping through my body #heart pounding edge of my seat every nerve set ablaze barely keeping it together #anyway nimona clearly Did Something to my brain lmao #go read it and then watch it you won’t regret it!!!!!!!!!! #this is scheduled btw (i Think i have the best posting times for this fandom figured out) #nimona spoilers

[seagreenstardust]

“When toxic behavior is portrayed as romantic, it’s problematic. When problematic behavior is portrayed as a character flaw for a character to work through, it’s good storytelling.”

Katsuki Bakugou, my friends.

His behavior was problematic but never once portrayed as romantic at the same time. Katsuki said and did awful abusive things, and he also chose to be better when he was given the chance. If you’re still hung up on chapter 1 Katsuki now then I don’t think you’ve been reading the same story I have.

I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m not shipping Izuku with an irredeemable abuser. I’m shipping him with his most important person. His narrative foil. His childhood friend who made awful mistakes and then made it right when he saw he was wrong. The person Izuku looks up to and strives to emulate, despite their past struggles.

Bakudeku is so good because of how flawed these boys are, and how hard they’ve worked to get over it, and how much they matter to each other after it all

#perfect stories about perfect people who never do anything wrong are usually boring #stories about growth and mistakes and redemption and forgiveness and progress are lit #bkdk #bakudeku #the quote is from cinema therapy on YouTube btw #love them so much #they look at media and talk about what is and isn’t good from a real life human perspective #and boy did this quote slap me in the face #anyway this is my thought literally any time anyone says something about shipping Izuku with his abuser #if he was still being abused then I get it #but he’s not #and saying he needs protection from Katsuki is honestly doing his character dirty #and this is not to say that every situation with an abuser and a victim should turn out romantic #obviously not #the world is not black and white and neither are people #sometimes you have to get yourself out and never look back and that is valid and healthy #but sometimes you’re talking about two boys in a manga who literally cannot stop thinking about how good and incredible the other is #bro I get it #surface level chapter/episode 1 Katsuki is literally the worst #but his glow up has been literally meteoric

[pa-pa-plasma]

hey i feel like we're really sleeping on that time Danny possessed Vlad & framed him for assaulting a minor

Editing with the clip because people don't believe me. Episode is 41: Eye for an Eye.

#Danny Phantom #i think this ties into my other post i made a long time ago about Danny siccing the GIW on Vlad #like we KNOW in CANON that if Danny was even a tiny bit more like Vlad he would literally become a supervillain #villain is such a stupid word i hate how it's spelled. why is it like that #anyways i need to like. rewatch DP cuz i remember shit & then i'm like #did that actually happen. because that sounds too insane #but like. he Did That. didnt he #i think that's what i love about this character. but a lot of people ignore it #Danny is like. gritting his teeth going ''do good do good'' it isnt effortless it isnt easy he doesnt even want to do it half the time #& sometimes yeah he WILL do crimes or get back at people who've been assholes to him or whatever #he WILL use his powers for bad sometimes #he'll be like ''dont do that it's bad'' but like. he WILL do it himself #the whole ''i'm a hero'' thing he's got going on is like. more of a. how do i put this #it's like when you're drawing or writing & saying ''it doesnt have to be perfect it just has to BE'' #like Danny isn't a hero sometimes. he's got morals & has a general understanding of good & bad #but also he's 14 & being attacked every day #i would start saying bad words & threatening people that annoy me too man #okay i glanced over the scene again for the first time in years & Danny was literally in the middle of outing Vlad to the whole town??? #hello?? are we really ignoring this????? #VLAD TORNADO VLAD TORNADO VLAD TORNADO #this show is so stupid i love it #love how Sam & Tucker immediately backed him up yeah fuck Vlad all my homies hate Vlad #okay you know what. maybe i will do a DP liveblog. i think it would be fun #on daddyplasmius. only posting this on pa-pa-plasma cuz it's kind of just a. weird rant post? kind of? idk

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

i... wrote a smol fic (っ´▽`*)っ

also!!!!! If you haven't seen it - shoutout to first ever published fic in Ninja Showdown/My Immortal Soul tags - Lustrous Red by @missadmyre !!!

#ninja showdown #my immortal soul #first ninja x chase young #rc9gn first ninja #first ninja #rc9gn #chase young #xiaolin showdown #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #rc9gn plop plop #well i say smol fic.... but those 4k words felt very long. #i did say i was going to direct my energy into writing >.> and now look at me ive gone insane #no actually dont look at me im just gonna go cry over my 20k words of rough drafts for like dozen ideas that are now going #to haunt my every waking moment like JESUS i woke up today and literally wrote out 1k words of an idea for a modern au for those two TToTT #its literally an au where its a meet cute turned meet violent and first is randy's sorta dad and chase wants to adopt omi #not to mention a different AU where its an epic mystery adventure AAAAAAA someone heeeelppppp meeeee #also. its been a month but im still staring so intently at missadmyre's fic hoping for another crumb. like thank you sm for the food!!!! #ive literally been rereading it several times after i went insane about it on my main blog and im still slurping at it like a starved perso #Ive been collecting my ideas like a dragon but after reading that fic i was like: I WANT TO READ MORE FICS ABOUT THEM #but i dont wanna be a whiny baby&beg others and be annoying about it. So i put on my big person pants and was like f it WE R WRITINg NOW #so i dont care how bad my writing will be. we gonna be balling on those ideas and YES it doesnt make sense im just v rambly rn

[mewtwo24]

I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.

Turns out that was a perilous mistake.

Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me

What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:

LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"

The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--

How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls

And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:

Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.

Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)

Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:

Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me

Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:

I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.

And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...

I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.

How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.

Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.

#svsss #bingqiu #moshang #i swear to god this series is just 'gay man who doesn't know shit inflicting his delusional reality on everyone else and inciting chaos' #and literally it's slapstick levels of hilarious every single time; mxtx never change #also i fully agree that we did not get NEARLY enough mobei-jun and sqh/airplane content #the amount of mental illness to mental illness communication going on there was astonishing #mobei-jun being afraid of his uncle and bringing sqh because that's the only person he trusts fully (WAILING NOISES) #sqh having a tantrum but running away because for the first time he was honest about his needs + his dissatisfaction with catering to other #how that reflects his narrative compulsions and how he felt forced to warp more creative story paths for the sake of survival as a writer #how sqq's restoration of much of his original intent--as well as mobei-jun's acceptance of his needs--helps airplane begin to heal #how his happiness begins; how just like sqq he wanders in such confusion and denial before he's forced to realize what truly matters to him #SHREK VOICE: STORIES HAVE. L A Y E R S #it feels like modern day shakespeare and when i say that i don't mean it in a hollow elevating sense i mean it more like #mxtx just hits that perfect balance of poignance but also hilarious concentric circles of botched communication and brainworms #okay but real talk for a minute? .........;-; #the way lbh constantly struggles with such a crushing feeling that he'll be abandoned over any little mishap/thing/problem #really hit me where it hurts??? if only because its so clearly an anxiety that stems from original goods' upbringing #the way it becomes even more heartrending when you think back to all the sect leaders clamoring that he should have been killed as an infan #that he should have been aborted as a fetus--insisting right in front of him that his birth was a mistake and a disgrace #over having demon blood in his veins. like my god that scene is so viscerally upsetting i struggle to read it #the way its so easy to see the demons as a manifestation of otherness in precipitated form #how both sqq and sqh are influenced by human rhetoric without evening meaning to--assuming the worst against their better judgment #how both sqq and sqh both struggle with their own otherness in different ways and only find solace when they begin to accept who they are #how their lovers (lbh and mbj respectively) both are willing to navigate those confusing waters with them #how both demons love them as they are--accept them as they are despite how difficult forgiveness of perceived betrayal is for them #ty mxtx for changing my brain chemistry #as i get older i have such a fondness for the messiness of thematic queer self-discovery and growth into self-acceptance #that and how youth can so easily be defined by perfectionistic self-harm and the violence of repression

[daily-crowley]

Crowley Of The Day: gorgeous 😍

(I used up all my hashtags that I couldn’t do my usual GO tags that I always do lol I don’t care)

#personal update #I got into Trolls #but I mean really really really into it #new fixation the brainrot is unstoppable #it’s all I think about I’m to the point that I need all Trolls content to survive #all Trolls content HAND IT OVER! merch fanart fics ALL OF IT #I’m so in love with Branch Floyd and John Dory #Rock Zombie Branch is sooooooo #and so I’d Rock Zombie Poppy #I AM THE NUMBER ONE JOHN FORY DEFENDER LEAVE HIM ALONE HE DID NOTHING WRONG AND DOESNT DEAERVE THE HATE HE GETS #I need what Broppy have oh my fucking god it’s so cute the love they have for each other it’s consuming me #and I need more of Branch and Clay those two rule following safety loving nerds would have such a great relationship #DID YOU SEE CLAY FAWNING OVER BRANCH WHEN THEY REUNITED SQUISHING HIS CHEEKS #THATS HIS BABY BROTHER AND HES AS CUTE NOW AS HE WAS WHEN HE WAS A BABY #AND THE ENDING WHEN HE TOLD HIM HE WAS SORRY FOR MISSING HIM GROW UP BUT COULDNT WAIT FOR THWM TO HANG OUT NOW #everyone focuses on Branch and Floyd but I NEED BRANCH AND CLAY #Speaking of Floyd I love him so much. he’s all I think about. that is if I’m not thinking of Branch #John Dory is everything to me? like I’m obsessed with him in a different way. like I said I’ll defend him every single time #BRUUUUUUUCE!!! 💞💞💞💞💞 #Trolls 3 is still in cinemas and I’ve literally been going to rewatch it once a week #no joke I’m going again this Wednesday #AND I HAVE THE FILM AT HOME! I have all 3 of them and I watch them every day #I’m telling you the brainrot is unstoppable I am going insane #People apparently don’t like when I talk about any other interest of mine especially Trolls #it’s like I’m almost not allowed to talk about anything other than Good Omens #so since people don’t like me doing permanent posts YOU’RE GETTING IT IN THE TAGS #okay I’m done…. for now. #Crowley #Crowley Of The Day #Good Omens

[lowpolyshadow]

i have art block but i also don't have art block you feel me

#shadow the hedgehog #sth #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic prime #i started like ... doodling ... and then i just ... kept going #but like only doodling i don't rlly . i want to make something but i don't have anything else lol #fun fact this is the first time i've made one of these sketch comp things almost entirely on digital #every other one ive ever posted was like actual pictures from my sketchbook collaged together #but this one only two of them are from my book a while ago and the rest i literally did uhhhh (queueing this) last night #i was onto ... something . idk what. lol. i temporarily forgot how to draw sonic so that's why i ended up with that really big aaa sonic #idk Idk ! art is weird. brain weird. executive dysfunctioning #my art

[zuzu-draws]

4-armed Sukuna Appreciation post!! These were my favourite OG Sukuna panels from the latest chapter.

#ryomen sukuna #sukuna #jjk sukuna #jjk leaks #jjk #manga #og sukuna #4 armed sukuna #jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers #Fellas i don't think i can do it anymore #i genuinely can't do this anymore he's too hot my brain is malfunctioning literally because-- the TWISTS my heart did after seeing #these panels and Sukuna's dialogue....i'm so in love with this monstrosity (affectionate) #he's so...handsome and hot and...especially those last 2 panels.... :') i can stare and admire them for hours man #It's funny seeing folks tweeting about finding og sukuna hot now like?? bro we've been saying this for the longest time !! #Like ?? are u ppl finally seeing the vision??? us Sukuna fans had our brain chemistry altered by??? #Give us that Heian Sukuna Backstory Gege please don't finish the manga without it i'm literally going to :''''''''(((((( .. #can't wait to see if i can draw my beloved on the weekend <3 <3 <3 he's my pookie my moonshine <3 and insert every other cringe thing #see my tags don't even fit into the tag limit because i can't stop myself from wanting to yap about him #Also the way Sukuna says that ''It is because i understand love that i reject it'' and the ''Love is worthless/trash'' makes me think that #he's been hurt in some way ; maybe he loved to an extent it effed him up 'cause we all know what Gojo said in JJK 0; #''Love is the most twisted Curse of all'' #:''''''< i-...

[saints-who-never-existed]

God I would love to have seen Lieutenant Jopson actually disagree and argue with Crozier, just once.

I'd love to have seen them have a proper argument once Jopson finally had the official authority to actually speak his mind a bit more.

I can't help but wonder if, perhaps unconsciously, Crozier promoted him in small part so as to have a lieutenant who would always agree and back him up in his decisions. But Jopson, of course, is a bright lad who knows his own mind, and nothing tantalises me more than the thought of that united front just not happening.

#This is not an anti-Crozier post just to be clear #I don't actually think he promoted Jopson with any of that in mind #But I do think that time and time again it's clear that often he doesn't know or understand people half as well as he thinks he does #On the one hand it's tragic and I pity him for it #But on the other hand those misjudgements of human nature have so much potential for biting him in the arse in amusing ways #Like 'Oh you thought I'd automatically agree with you on every point like I did before?' #'Well jokes on you bitch! I was literally your servant before and had no real choice but to!' #Jopson's clearly got that fight in him and I'd love to have seen it come out again in such a situation #The Terror #The Terror AMC #Thomas Jopson #Francis Crozier #In all seriousness I am fascinated by all the ways that promotion could irrevocably alter their relationship

[sonknuxadow]

#sonic prime #sonic prime spoilers #tagging just in case. because sonic prime made me post this #Anyway. it was fine when sa2 did it because #you can brush that off as gun looking for an excuse to arrest sonic or cover up shadows existence and pinning shadows actions on sonic #but every other time somebody says they look alike i feel like im being lied to #''i know what youre thinking. sonic has a twin brother??????'' Literally no one was thinking that sonic

[backonrepeat]

Gortash, who escapes the Hells after years of torture, and hires Karlach (a red tiefling) as his bodyguard because better the devil you know.

Karlach, late teens, orphaned and trying to find her place in the city, imprinting on Gortash (a thug from the Lower City, making his way up on the world) like a baby duckling, ignoring the parade of red flags.

Them working together well and getting along, despite opposite personalities and morals, because Gortash (who grew up unloved by his parents and abused by devils) enjoys being the object of Karlach's earnest, honest flattery and loyalty too much, and Karlach (poor street urchin with little to no formal education) sees Gortash scheme with politicians and criminals, design clockwork machines, and climb the social ladder with ease, and thinks the sun shines out of his ass.

If Gortash keeps the worst of his dealings hidden from Karlach, well, that's just good business sense. She's still young and green, she'll toughen up as she grows older and the reality of the world grinds her optimisim to dust. And if Karlach turns a blind eye to her boss' cruel streak, to the boxes of smuggled weapons coming in and out of the warehouses, and the dead bodies floating down the Chiontar, it's because they probably did something to deserve it, after all Gortash has been nothing but good to her.

Maybe Gortash starts to wonder if a little bit of goodwill could be leveraged to achieve more power. After all, a couple of kind words and small favours have worked wonders to ensure Karlach's loyalty. Maybe he can allow himself a kindness or two, ease the leash, raise the boot, just a smidge. Only for the harshness of reality to slap him in the face once again, the deal falls through, his enemies gain ground, he loses money and men, his plan pushed back, because he, for one instant, believed Karlach's rainbow coloured worldview.

So he tightens his grip on power even more, doubles down on his cruelty, and decides: Karlach must go. And when Zariel offers her deal, a soul for an ongoing supply of infernal steel, he sells her off without hesitation.

#enver gortash #karlach #baldur’s gate 3 #these two had such bad reads on each other it's both sad and hilarious #karlach thinking gortash was like a cool entrepreneur who just sold weed on the side #while the man was balls deep in every possible smuggling ring and crime imaginable in the city #and gortash thinking karlach just needed some time in hell to toughen up #when she was a literal sunbeam of optimism full of love and caring #i don't ship them but man i would love to find more about their days together #how did that even work???