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#i do not even want to try to figure out what is the paper the cardboard seb is holding
nhlclover · 3 days
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i don't even know your name | will smith
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word count: 1.84k
summary: after will sees you at a party, he can't get you out of his head despite not knowing your name
warnings: one curse word, descriptions of reader having auburn hair
notes: based on 'i don't even know your name' by shawn mendes. after he came out with noah kahan in toronto, i've been listening to shawn's old albums non-stop.
The music thumped from inside the house, slightly muted to Will and the other patrons in the backyard. The warm glow of string lights overhead illuminated the scene, casting a soft, inviting ambiance over the backyard. Will lined up the shot, raising his arm and tossing the ping pong ball towards the cups at the other end of the table. The ball bounced off the rim of a red solo cup and onto the grass below.
“You are so bad at this, man.” Ryan groaned.
“Fuck off dude.” Will retorted.
Will didn’t want to be at this party if he was being honest. He had a paper to finish and a project to work on. If it wasn’t for Gabe practically guilt-tripping him into coming, Will would be sitting comfortably in their dorm and, if he was being honest with himself, he would probably be playing video games instead of doing his homework.
Gabe and the rest of the guys knew he didn’t want to be there so they goaded him into playing beer pong, hoping that by the end of the first round, they’d have convinced him to stay. However, now nearing the end of the game, Will was anticipating the moment he got to leave. Standing in the backyard, amongst the smokers and those watching their game of pong, Will truly wanted to leave.
“Will, you’re up,” Jacob said, pulling Will from his brief daze. He looked down at the table, noticing that Ryan had gotten them one cup away from a win, which would allow Will to go home.
Will lined up the shot, taking this one more seriously than any past shot. He steadied his hand, aiming for the sole plastic cup at the back of the table. Out of the corner of his eye, Will spotted the sliding door open. His eyes flicked over to the entrance, stopping on your figure as you emerged into the dimly lit backyard. The soft glow of string lights illuminated your silhouette as you stepped onto the back porch, casting a gentle halo around you.
Will's hand paused in mid-air, the ping-pong ball balanced precariously on his fingertips. Gabe, Ryan, and Jacob groaned in frustration.
"What's wrong with you, Will? Take the shot!" Ryan groaned.
Will blinked, tearing his eyes away from the allure of the girl on the porch. “Sorry…just thought I saw something.”
The boys followed Will’s unwavering gaze to the porch, immediately spotting what had captured his attention. “That’ll make him want to stay.” Jacob said under his breath.
“Go talk to her.” Gabe said.
Ryan shook his head, clamping a hand on Will's shoulder. “No, no. Don’t try and get out of this right before Smitty and I are about to win.” Ryan said. “Finish the game first, then he can go flirt.”
“You’re robbing him of a chance at love.” Gabe challenged. Sure, he wasn’t thrilled about being on the verge of losing in beer pong to Ryan who he knew would be bragging the whole night due to his ever-competitive spirit. However, he also really wanted to witness his friend attempt to chat up a girl.
“He can go talk to her after we win!” Ryan said.
Will cast another glance back at you on the porch, watching the shadows dance across your face, highlighting the curve of your cheekbones and the delicate arc of your smile. You seemed to be in deep conversation with a few other girls, giving Will peace of mind that he could quickly make the shot and then go talk to the pretty girl who had completely hijacked his attention.
However, with said attention now split, when Will took his shot he completely airmailed it. The game continued, Will casting occasional glances at you, relief washing over him when you remained on the porch. His turn came once again, this time putting his complete focus on the shot. With a flick of his wrist, Will sent the ball through the air, landing in the cup before Gabe or Jacob could attempt to interfere. Ryan pulled Will in, jumping with the blond nestled under his arm. When Ryan was done with his over-the-top celebrating, Will shoved him off.
“Can I go now?” He asks his friends.
Ryan rolls his eyes, while Gabe and Jacob wave him off, encouraging their friend to talk to the girl who had captured his attention. However, when Will turned to look at you, his eyes came up empty. You had disappeared from where Will had last seen you. He scanned the rest of the backyard in hopes that you had ventured further, however, Will’s heart sank as that was also futile.
He moved inside, searching the kitchen, then the living room for your presence. Or even the presence of your friends who could potentially tell him where you were. Despite his efforts, he found no one. Not you, not your friends. Will returned to the backyard, a sense of defeat washing over him. Will found his friends in another round of beer pong, this time with a girl having taken his spot as Ryan’s teammate.
Will stood next to the table, watching as Ryan guided the girl's arm, aiding her in making a shot. “She’s gone.” Will told them, voice tinged with disappointment.
Gabe exchanged a sympathetic look with Jacob before coming over and patting Will on the back. "Sorry, man,” Gabe said, sympathetically. “Maybe you’ll see her around?”
Will could only shrug, feeling as though he wasn’t going to. Regret gnawed at him, as well as a slight sense of resentment towards Ryan, as he couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve been if he had seized the moment when he had the chance.
Weeks passed since the party and Will was genuinely considering checking himself into a psych ward over you. Ever since the first glimpse, you’d woven yourself into the fabric of Will’s thoughts. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to shake you from his mind. Will was genuinely baffled at the way you’d become a constant presence in his mind. He’d always prided himself on being a fairly level-headed and rational guy, especially on the ice. However, he now found himself fixated on a girl he had only seen briefly.
He didn’t even know your name.
Will felt as though he had to find you, had to unravel the mystery of who you were and why you had such a powerful hold over him. There’d been several times when Will thought he’d seen you. Where he caught a glimpse of auburn locks and nearly ran up to them thinking it was you. But it never was.
During an away game in Maine, he thought he saw you. He spotted a cascade of auburn hair amidst the crowd and nearly completely abandoned the play at hand to get another glimpse. When Will brought it up to his linemates during the intermission, they could only laugh at his suggestion, reminding him of the miles between them and the sheer impossibility of you being there.
Will tried his best to push the idea of you from his mind, trying to force himself to move on and forget about the girl whom he’d decidedly conjured up in his mind. Will fully focused his mind on hockey and schoolwork, which is how he found himself in the library for the first time. He wandered the rows of tables, trying to find a relatively empty spot that he could settle into and work on his assignments.
Will’s eye briefly caught a glimpse of auburn hair but didn’t pay much mind to it. Every other time he’d believed he’d seen you, it turned out to be a doppelganger. But upon a second glance, he couldn’t believe it. He blinked, almost convinced that his bogged-down mind had conjured up the image of you. But as he took a closer look, Will realized it was indeed you—your hair cascading down her shoulders, the exact smile he’d seen on your face that night was back on your lips as you talked with your friends.
Will’s heart race quickened in his chest, the sound loud in his ears. As Will contemplates approaching you, a sudden realization washes over him that he hasn’t thought about what he’d say to you. In his mind, Will envisioned countless scenarios where your paths intersected, where your eyes met, and conversation flowed effortlessly. But in none of these dreams did he consider the stark reality of the moment where he would admit his feelings without the safety net of prepared words. Will grapples with the scenario, knowing that every second of hesitation is a missed opportunity. He can’t wait like he did last time.
Will finds his feet carrying himself in your direction before he knows it. Every last ounce of courage was summoned as he approached you. Will stops at the end of your table, yours as well as your friends' attentions turning to the blond.
"Um, hi," he started, his voice betraying the nervousness he felt. Your eyes, however, were soft as you waited for the blond to continue. "I couldn't help but notice… you seem familiar. Have we met before?"
That was a lie, obviously. Will knew they’d never interacted. But it was his sole attempt at making his presence seem natural. Your lips quirked into a small smile, and he felt a surge of relief at her response. "I don't think so," you replied, your voice soft and melodic. "I'm y/n."
Will’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of your name, a name he had longed to know since the moment he first saw you. "I'm Will," he introduced himself.
"Nice to meet you, Will," you said, returning his smile. There was something about the way you said his name that sent a shiver down his spine.
Emboldened by your friendly demeanour, he decided to take a leap of faith. "Would you like to grab a coffee with me sometime? Maybe we could… catch up on all the times we haven't met before," he added with a sheepish grin, hoping his attempt at humour would lighten the mood.
Your smile widened, and a playful glint danced in your eyes, appreciating the boldness of the boy who’d approached you. "I'd like that, Will," you said. "How about tomorrow afternoon?"
"That sounds perfect," he said, unable to contain the grin that spread across his face.
As you exchanged contact information, Will couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement building within him. Will said goodbye to you, as well as your friends that he’d, in all honesty, had forgotten were there. As Will walked away from your table, his heart felt like it was doing cartwheels in his chest. He couldn't believe what just happened — finally mustering the courage to approach you, and to his amazement, you were even more captivating up close. Will walked off, exhilaration coursing through his veins. So much so that he left the library and forgone his pending assignments, excited that he now knew your name.
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writingoddess1125 · 2 days
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Sunset Pirates pt. 2
Old Men Series Masterlist <<<
Previous <<<
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• The Sunset Pirates- A Young band of new generation Pirates that has been bulldozing their way into papers as their bounties grew with each passing month. Racking up Billions in damage as they sailed on and becoming on the World Goverment biggest problem
• Each of these young pirates where carving their own paths right into the already scared side if the Goverment
• They each had their own goals in mind. Wishing to better the past generation. Build past the shadows each of them where born in-
• However it was clear one one thing-
• They still had no real idea what the fuck they were doing...
• While the four of them where incredibly skilled in terms of combat and ship maintenance- they were all now incredibly broke.
• "How the fuck are we gonna get money?! We will be out of food in days" Vi protested as the crew sat on the deck trying to have a meeting of sorts to figure out a game plan.
• They had been sailing aimlessly for the last few days and getting close to running out of needed supplies. All of them feeling a strain on their personal pockets-
• "I know I know- We need ideas. Sure destroying shit is fun but we need to make real money here" Dee expressed rubbing his temple, Alucare looking at the crew and rolled his eyes- However he couldn't disagree with them...
• "We need to obviously steal- its how all pirates make their money most of thw time" Alucare pointed out-
• The crew grimaced at this Alucare included, knowing well that they weren't the type of pirates to raid defenseless people and rip gold from their necks or steal Berri from helpless people.
• "Listen it's one think stealing from a rich person but-" Vi started but Dee waved her off before she could finish that sentence.
• "We know, I don't think any of us want that either" Dee expressed. Sighing as everyone fell silent- That was till Bee chuckled to himself suddently and everyone turned their attention to him.
• Bee being the ever extremist yet the only one that seemed to pitch ideas sat up from his lounged position on a barrel with a wide smile like the devil at the crew.
• "So sounds like- We steal from the World Goverment-"
• Everyone Stared at Bee before the Vi and Alucare erupted in disagreement.
"And please do tell, How and where? You cant just say Steal from the World Goverment" Vi argued and Bee smiled "Easy- I heard when we are that ship that you Alu was imprisoned on-"
"Don't call me that-"
"I heard that they where planning to renovate Marine Base 45 with a new Safe after the summer ends since its faulty- We can just break in and steal it. It's broken anyways"
• Bee pitched as the other two crewmates ripped apart the plan. Dee however quietly thinking and giving a defeated sigh "It's the best idea we have-" He finally said making Vi look at his shocked "Are you fucking serious-"
• "This is a bad idea-" Alucare pointed out
• "Do you have one?" Bee shot back, Making the swordsman scowl at him and Vi huff but fall silent-"
• "Since you two are hell bent on this, then you two have someone to help break into the safe- Neither of us know how to" Alucare pointed out. Making the twins look at each other for a moment.
• Dee clicked his tongue and leaned back- Bee smirking as well.
• "Know just the Duo-"
- This is not what Alucare ment by getting a skilled Theif or in this case thieves. Bee and Dee had just returned from grabbing these skilled 'highly skilled pick pockets' but instead Alucare stared at two cherry nosed brats, his eyebrow starting to twitch.
There was two little girls- clearly not even in the double digits in terms of age, both in little pink-tails and dressed in frilly dresses with pale blue eyes like the older twin duo. It didnt take a wild guess to figure out these where their baby sisters.
Vivian was gushing at the two little girls the second their boarded the ship, Leaning down and poking their little cheeks as she swooned at how adorable they were and gifting them candy. A clear softy for kids-
"You've got to be shitting me- You couldn't find anyone who had hit puberty yet?" Alucare growled at the older twins, Dee rolling his eyes.
"You said we needed thieves and this is what I got- Now do you got any better idea?" Alucare scoffed, gesturing to Vi who was still gushing over the girls who where eating up the attention from the redhead.
"You expect us to break into a secure Marine safe with two toddlers-"
"We are right here you know-" Ari grumbled, glaring up at Alucare who sighed heavily at this.
"I'm aware-" Alucare calmly shot back, Looking to Bee and Dee as he rubbed his temple.
"If I knew I'd be babysitting I'd just have went home-" Alucare mumbled- Ali glaring hard at Alucare as she casted her sister a glance.
"We have to get someone else- I understand love for a siblings skills but this is ridiculous. Im not going to let two infants on a dangerous task like this. Your sisters or not- I doubt they could steal candy from each other" Dee and Bee looked at each other and just shrugged. Alucare ready to tear into them again but being quickly cut off.
"Pretty ring- And lots of money!" Ali said loudly to herself, Holding up Alucare prized Ruby ring in her tiny palm the one that Mihawk had gifted him when he left home and his bag of Berri he kept hidden on his person- The dark haired man blinking in confusion before looking at his hand.
"How did you-" He started before snatching the ring and money from the little girl. Ali giggling at this as Did Ari who was scooped up by Vivian.
"Told you- Best damn thieves you can find" Dee waved off, Already suspiciously touching his own pockets as he was sure his sisters had lifted something from him.
"The infamous Bubbles and Squeak- Now if these two can steal from Sir Crocodile, Mihawk and essentially all of the Pirate Lords undetected including cracking ever safe they can get their little fingers on. I'm sure they can steal from the military-" Bee detailed Excluding themselves from the stolen list. Alucare crossing his arms, looking.. impressed?
"These two did all that?-"
Vi commented with a eyebrow at the little girls as she held Ari who was tucked to her side. Looking to the little girl and chuckling a bit in amusement-
"How long do we have them for?"
"72 Hours, Father has our Mother distracted and lied to her about where the girls are for this" Dee explained with a sigh- Knowing their mother would lose her shit finding out they were taking two 7 year olds out on a pirating adventure.
Alucare adjusted the ring on his finger and nodded- Looking to the two little girls calmly.
"Seems we are setting sail to Marine Base 45-"
○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
Authors Note!
HELLO! So I've been stewing over this project for quite some time and wanted to open the floor up to everyone!
I want to Build the Sunset Pirates into their own Respectable Pirate crew, so Please leave some suggestions on Ideas either of OOC or even Legacy children you think would he great for the crew!
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rileyglas · 3 days
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The List ~Pt. 7 - Condemnation~ (Sneak Peek)
Out here kicking my feet like Alastor - Got part 7 queued for Friday then MAYBE part 8 next week (if ya'll like it enough) 💜 Need to catch up? Masterlist
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The last few days (weeks?) have been a blur. It was a weird switch going from sleeping terribly because you longed to be near him - to sleeping constantly so you didn’t have to feel your body long from him. Anyone who came to your door was just told you weren’t feeling good. “Just caught a stomach bug, don’t come in! I would hate for you to catch it.”
Today you decided it’s time to finally leave your room. Charlie needs help and there are things around the hotel that need to be done before her meeting with Heaven. You aren’t one to let others down just because of your own emotional baggage.
You throw some makeup on to try to brighten your face. Usually, you wouldn’t be bothered but all the crying significantly darkened your eyes. I’d rather not let them see me like this. The less questions the better. Plastering a smile on your face, you head down to the lobby to get the list of ‘to-dos’ from Charlie. Surprisingly she isn’t there when you arrive, so you take a seat next to Angel on the floor. You lean your head against his leg as a silent ‘hello’.
“Hey toots, how ya feeling?” he says without looking up from his phone. “Better, thanks.” You say cheerfully.
“Good! Guess you and Smiles must have shared cooties ‘cause he ain’t been seen or heard from since Lucifer’s visit.” A pang hits your chest, but you try to brush it off. He’s probably just pissed off.
Charlie rushes down the stairs and scoops you into a lung crushing hug, “So so so soooooooo glad you’re feeling better! I didn’t realize how much you did around here! Could you do me a huge favor and go pick up a few things from the city and take them to my dad? He said he can meet you at this address. I have to go pack - Thank you!” Just as quickly as she came down the stairs, she hurries back, leaving you with a short list and an address.
For the first time in weeks, you leave the hotel without Alastor or his shadow close by. It’s not that you’re afraid of going out alone, but you realize you enjoyed his company more than you thought. You glance up at the radio tower as you walk away from the hotel and can make out a dark figure with glowing red eyes staring down from the window. Well at least that’s confirmation he’s still around.
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You pick up the few things from a local shop and walk across the city to the address Charlie gave you. This doesn’t look right. The building you walk up to is more of an abandoned warehouse for a drug deal rather than a cozy meetup with the King of Hell. Cautiously you walk through the door which looked like it had been kicked in already. Just as expected, it’s an empty building with piles of trash scattered about. Graffiti and posters plaster the inner walls. You triple check the address on the small paper and it matches.
Sooo now what?
After waiting and pacing for a few minutes, you hear someone call out to you. You turn to see Lucifer standing outside a portal in the middle of the building.
“You didn’t actually think I stayed within the city, did you?” he chuckles as he motions for you to enter into the portal with him. Once inside you look around to see a large open room filled with…ducks? And this guy was trying to give me a hard time?
“Is – is this your office, sir?”
He boots a few ducks out of his path. “Yes, this is where I work on – important – matters. Also, no need for formalities, Lucifer is fine. Those bags for me?”
You almost forgot why you were even standing in the King’s office. All the piles of rubber ducks grabbed your attention and now you wanted to look through them out of pure curiosity. Handing over the bags, you keep scanning around the room. Lucifer notices your curious glances, “Would you – like to see my most recent project?” he asks nervously. You feel your face light up at the offer and he can’t help but mirror your excitement.
He starts to show you all the ducks he’s created, their names, what they can do. His eyes glimmer excitedly every time you display even the slightest interest in one. What feels like a mere fifteen minutes ends up becoming a couple hours. As he shows you the last of his collection, a solemn look crosses his face.
“Thank you for this. I don’t get a lot of visitors and haven’t really been able to share my work since Charlie…grew up. Plus, it’s nice to see you smile, especially after our first encounter.”
Your breath catches at the memory of that night. Not so much the crying in the arms of the devil part - rather the grief you felt shortly after. “Oh – thank you for taking the time to show me. Truthfully, I haven’t had much reason to smile lately so it’s a lovely change.”
His smile drops. There's a long pause as he fights with himself to find the right words, “Did he…Alastor I mean…hurt you that night? You can tell me. I know Charlie is close with him, so you probably don’t feel comfortable -”
“He didn’t hurt me. At least not in the physical sense.” Frowning, you curse at yourself for being too honest. You can’t help but feel at ease in his presence. He was Lucifer, King of Hell and easily the most powerful in all the seven rings. What ulterior motives could he possibly have or need? He has no reason to be anything other than genuine in his worry for you. He made it all too easy to tell him anything.
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blobbycentral · 14 hours
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Puppets of the Gods
(Aka that one AU where the Cookies of Darkness get possessed by the beasts)
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Get ready, this’ll be a long one
The AU starts with Dark Enchantress and main group of the Cookies of Darkness (Pomegranate, Poison Mushroom, Licorice, Red Velvet, and Affogato) heading to the great tree for an audience with the beasts. In this audience, the beasts demand cookie bodies like they do in game. Dark Enchantress though, instead of making new cookie bodies from scratch, offers up her subordinates as vessels and the plot begins.
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(Yes that is a paper bag on his head and no I will not answer why the paper bag is grey)
SILENT SALT COOKIE
Silent Salt and Burning Spice fought over who would get the guy with the massive sword and arm. Since Burning Spice was too busy arguing with Silent Salt, they ended up getting Red Velvet instead. He’s not a terrible body to host. Strong. Nice sword. Quiet. Though he could get over the cake monster things. Silent Salt is allowed to take out whatever they want.
RED VELVET COOKIE
As a loyal member of the Cookies of Darkness, he accepted the possession, practically welcomed it. Well… he did. I mean sure Silent Salt isn’t the worse to be possessed by. He’s seen Affogato’s and Licorice’s state. It’s just… so quiet. Too quiet. He’s locked in this mind space watching Silent Salt wreck his life’s work and hurt anything that comes in their way. Maybe if Dark Enchantress knew what was going on she would help… if only he could find a way out.
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BURNING SPICE COOKIE
If Silent Salt wasn’t such a big fat paper bag, Burning Spice would’ve gotten Red Velvet. But noooo he had to get the other brat with a big scythe. Licorice Cookie or whatever his name is, he’s frail, bratty and won’t shut up or stop escaping. It sucksssssssss. At least he hates Mystic Flour’s vessel as much as Burning Spice hates Mystic Flour!
LICORICE COOKIE
Alright, maybe this makes Licorice Cookie not the most loyal Cookie of Darkness but he HATES BURNING SPICE! If he had his diary (which Burning Spice looked through btw) he would be scribbling so much the paper would be soaked in pen. Everyday he and him argue and argue about what to do. It’s not Licorice’s fault that this man doesn’t know a spell book from a piece of toilet paper! Ugh… he just needs to find a way out.
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MYSTIC FLOUR COOKIE
Pomegranate Cookie is loyal and quiet like a good pet. Her hair is annoying to deal with. They spent hours just trying to figure out how to take it out of those buns. Then there's her whole obsession on Dark Enchantress Cookie. Sinful and annoying. Does she not understand caring is a waste of energy? Alas
POMEGRANATE COOKIE
She knew of her master's grand plan since Dark Enchantress thought of it. She gave up herself as soon as Dark Enchantress gave out the order. She did everything Mystic Flour said just as Dark Enchantress had ordered her to do. She sat by and let Mystic Flour destroy her room, clothes, mirror— she’ll sit silently and let all happen. She can’t let her master down even if it destroys everything.
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SHADOW MILK COOKIE
You know, he’d prefer Pure Vanilla. He’s more fun to toy around with! This dumb one is such a boreeee. Traumatize him once and he’s all like “I’m emo and sad and stay quiet in the mind space” it ain’t t all bad. Having a body is just soooooo much fun! He gets to play with cookies for real now! The world will remember how fun he was ;D
AFFOGATO COOKIE
When Dark Enchantress Cookie offered up the Cookies of Darkness, Affogato Cookie ran. He was barely a member anyways! He shouldn’t have to be puppeted like a worthless… well.. puppet. It doesn’t matter anymore. Shadow Milk knows everything and just how to screw with his head. He hates it. Makes him want to go back to the hell of the Dark Cacao kingdom.
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ETERNAL SUGAR COOKIE
She wanted the pretty girl to be her vessel! Not some kid! Sure she was a little slow on pickings but still! They just sleep around and asks for bedtime stories and shroomies. What the actual oven is a shroomie anyways??
POISON MUSHROOM COOKIE
The pink lady is pretty. She reads them stories and snuggles them in her wings. It’d only be better if she had shroomies
And that’s all! If you have any questions feel free to ask! Thanks for reading!
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whoisspence · 1 month
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there's so much to unpack here, matthew using a banana as a phone, the sebastian stan cardboard behind him and then the tom hiddleston photos on the wall like i can't even tell what's my favourite part of this photo all i know is that i love everything about it
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jazzzzzzhands · 10 months
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Thinking about a time when Clown said that one of the first things Wally learned was how to hold things gently, carefully. So that he didn't break them
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spacebell · 7 months
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im starting my yearly birthday existential crisis week early
#I’m also on my period so that might be why#so I’m taking some English classes so that I can speak English a practice and do something#most of my classmates are university age (17-23) and there are a couple who are older than me (or at least in schedule that I chose)#and one of them asked for my Instagram and he’s like 17-18 and I’m turning 26 next week#and that’s just weird ok#i know I have a baby face and I can easily look like a 18-20 year old#and i also find it so funny whenever they ask what I’m doing and I tell them that I’m looking for a job and/or applying for a phd#their faces are so funny#but it also reminds me that I don’t have a job where I can be with people my age (or at least from 22 onwards)#and then i remember that my all of my cousins have jobs and most of my friends and they seem to have it all figured out#and while I have sort of a plan I’m still on the planning part of it#but then i also remember that if I want to get a phd I have to wait and apply in the next couple of months to start next year#so it’s ok to be sort of directionless and not doing anything concrete#also I might start German classes soon and I found a university that gives classes strating from beginners and it’s close by so that’s good#and when it comes to university requirements my English is pretty much native (apart from pronunciation) and my gpa is really really good#also i think I’ll give journaling another try bc I know writing helps me think and unwind#just dumping my thoughts on paper or even here helps me get it off my chest#also I sort of rediscovered Noah kahan and Florence and the machine#so them plus hozier plus my period and my birthday coming soon equals a whirlwind of emotions#and i know that i should try to embrace it and ride the wave instead of push back#and my cat might be sick but I’m not sure#he hasn’t been eating well since yesterday and he has been sleeping more that usual#but my dad isn’t worried and thinks we should wait before taking him to the vet (he’s a doctor and that’s what he does whenever one#of us gets sick)#and my mom is working#and i dont want to take him in a taxi bc he gets very very anxious on the drive there#it’s kind of a lot#mariana.txt
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strohller27 · 1 year
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#okay for once I am not ranting from rock bottom#but I did a lot of good coding in RStudio today#the bad part of that is I’m trying to tidy up the old Vulcan dictionary I used for my Semantics and Morphosyntax papers#this data is SO MESSY I cannot believe it#trying to get it to the point where R will even LOOK at it without being like ‘OH MY GOD THERE’S AN UNEXPECTED ITEM IN A PLACE’#NO I WON’T TELL YOU WHERE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON’ is like. pulling teeth#RStudio is a toddler I swear#it’ll be like ‘No! I wanted mashpotato! this not MASHPOTATO!!!’ and throw a fit until you put a comma in the right place#and then suddenly it’s like ‘Oh! ok! I eat this instead of mashpotato!!’ and you’re like???????!:!#anyway ​I’ve finally gotten the data so that R finds it readable and started isolating single values per cell#but insodoing some of the new columns I made have values that need to be in their own columns#like I have a column that has part of speech data mixed in with semantic domain data & other stuff#so now I’m going to have to do an if { loop#guess what we never covered in class? .-.#And since my professor is useless I will have to learn how to do if { loops by myself#OH and there’s bits of this table I may end up having to separate out then pivot then re-integrate#guess what else we never covered in class? .-. .-.#yup. so now I have to learn how to do pivot tables by myself#it’s either learn how to do these things on my own or find a work around that’s so jury-rigged it’ll never be reproducible#*heavysigh* I will figure this out even if it kills me
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raveartts · 1 year
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Gouache actually WORKED???! For the first time in forever
I feel infinitely better about literally everything now
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exopelagic · 3 months
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nobody should have to read and write abt papers it’s inhumane
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burntoutdaydreamer · 6 months
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Things That May Be Causing Your Writer's Block- and How to Beat Them
I don't like the term 'Writer's Block' - not because it isn't real, but because the term is so vague that it's useless. Hundreds of issues all get lumped together under this one umbrella, making writer's block seem like this all-powerful boogeyman that's impossible to beat. Worse yet, it leaves people giving and receiving advice that is completely ineffective because people often don't realize they're talking about entirely different issues.
In my experience, the key to beating writer's block is figuring out what the block even is, so I put together a list of Actual Reasons why you may be struggling to write:
(note that any case of writer's block is usually a mix of two or more)
Perfectionism (most common)
What it looks like:
You write one sentence and spend the next hour googling "synonyms for ___"
Write. Erase. Write. Rewrite. Erase.
Should I even start writing this scene when I haven't figured out this one specific detail yet?
I hate everything I write
Cringing while writing
My first draft must be perfect, or else I'm a terrible writer
Things that can help:
Give yourself permission to suck
Keep in mind that nothing you write is going to be perfect, especially your first draft
Think of writing your first/early drafts not as writing, but sketching out a loose foundation to build upon later
People write multiple drafts for a reason: write now, edit later
Stop googling synonyms and save that for editing
Write with a pen to reduce temptation to erase
Embrace leaving blank spaces in your writing when you can't think of the right word, name, or detail
It's okay if your writing sucks. We all suck at some point. Embrace the growth mindset, and focus on getting words on a page
Lack of inspiration (easiest to fix)
What it looks like:
Head empty, no ideas
What do I even write about???
I don't have a plot, I just have an image
Want to write but no story to write
Things that can help:
Google writing prompts
If writing prompts aren't your thing, instead try thinking about what kind of tropes/genres/story elements you would like to try out
Instead of thinking about the story you would like to write, think about the story you would like to read, and write that
It's okay if you don't have a fully fleshed out story idea. Even if it's just an image or a line of dialogue, it's okay to write that. A story may or may not come out of it, but at least you got the creative juices flowing
Stop writing. Step away from your desk and let yourself naturally get inspired. Go for a walk, read a book, travel, play video games, research history, etc. Don't force ideas, but do open up your mind to them
If you're like me, world-building may come more naturally than plotting. Design the world first and let the story come later
Boredom/Understimulation (lost the flow)
What it looks like:
I know I should be writing but uugggghhhh I just can'tttttt
Writing words feels like pulling teeth
I started writing, but then I got bored/distracted
I enjoy the idea of writing, but the actual process makes me want to throw my laptop out the window
Things that can help:
Introduce stimulation: snacks, beverages, gum, music such as lo-fi, blankets, decorate your writing space, get a clickity-clackity keyboard, etc.
Add variety: write in a new location, try a new idea/different story for a day or so, switch up how you write (pen and paper vs. computer) or try voice recording or speech-to-text
Gamify writing: create an arbitrary challenge, such as trying to see how many words you can write in a set time and try to beat your high score
Find a writing buddy or join a writer's group
Give yourself a reward for every writing milestone, even if it's just writing a paragraph
Ask yourself whether this project you're working on is something you really want to be doing, and be honest with your answer
Intimidation/Procrastination (often related to perfectionism, but not always)
What it looks like:
I was feeling really motivated to write, but then I opened my laptop
I don't even know where to start
I love writing, but I can never seem to get started
I'll write tomorrow. I mean next week. Next month? Next month, I swear (doesn't write next month)
Can't find the time or energy
Unreasonable expectations (I should be able to write 10,000 words a day, right????)
Feeling discouraged and wondering why I'm even trying
Things that can help:
Follow the 2 min rule (or the 1 paragraph rule, which works better for me): whenever you sit down to write, tell yourself that you are only going to write for 2 minutes. If you feel like continuing once the 2 mins are up, go for it! Otherwise, stop. Force yourself to start but DO NOT force yourself to continue unless you feel like it. The more often you do this, the easier it will be to get started
Make getting started as easy as possible (i.e. minimize barriers: if getting up to get a notebook is stopping you from getting started, then write in the notes app of your phone)
Commit to a routine that will work for you. Baby steps are important here. Go with something that feels reasonable: every day, every other day, once a week, twice a week, and use cues to help you remember to start. If you chose a set time to write, just make sure that it's a time that feels natural to you- i.e. don't force yourself to writing at 9am every morning if you're not a morning person
Find a friend or a writing buddy you can trust and talk it out or share a piece of work you're proud of. Sometimes we just get a bit bogged down by criticism- either internal or external- and need a few words of encouragement
The Problem's Not You, It's Your Story (or Outline (or Process))
What it looks like:
I have no problems writing other scenes, it's just this scene
I started writing, but now I have no idea where I'm going
I don't think I'm doing this right
What's an outline?
Drowning in documents
This. Doesn't. Make. Sense. How do I get from this plot point to this one?!?!?! (this ColeyDoesThings quote lives in my head rent free cause BOY have I been there)
Things That Can Help:
Go back to the drawing board. Really try to get at the root of why a scene or story isn't working
A part of growing as a writer is learning when to kill your darlings. Sometimes you're trying to force an idea or scene that just doesn't work and you need to let it go
If you don't have an outline, write one
If you have an outline and it isn't working, rewrite it, or look up different ways to structure it
You may be trying to write as a pantser when you're really a plotter or vice versa. Experiment with different writing processes and see what feels most natural
Study story structures, starting with the three act structure. Even if you don't use them, you should know them
Check out Ellen Brock on YouTube. She's a professional novel editor who has a lot of advice on writing strategies for different types of writers
Also check out Savage Books on YouTube (another professional story editor) for advice on story structure and dialogue. Seriously, I cannot recommend this guy enough
Executive Dysfunction, Usually From ADHD/Autism
What it looks like:
Everything in boredom/understimulation
Everything in intimidation/procrastination
You have been diagnosed with and/or have symptoms of ADHD/Autism
Things that can help:
If you haven't already, seek a diagnosis or professional treatment
Hire an ADHD coach or other specialist that can help you work with your brain (I use Shimmer; feel free to DM me for a referral)
Seek out neurodiverse communities for advice and support
Try body doubling! There's lot's of free online body doubling websites out there for you to try. If social anxiety is a barrier, start out with writing streams such as katecavanaughwrites on Twitch
Be aware of any sensory barriers that may be getting in the way of you writing (such as an uncomfortable desk chair, harsh lighting, bad sounds)
And Lastly, Burnout, Depression, or Other Mental Illness
What it looks like:
You have symptoms of burnout or depression
Struggling with all things, not just writing
It's more than a lack of inspiration- the spark is just dead
Things that can help:
Forget writing for now. Focus on healing first.
Seek professional help
If you feel like it, use writing as a way to explore your feelings. It can take the form of journaling, poetry, an abstract reflection of your thoughts, narrative essays, or exploring what you're feeling through your fictional characters. The last two helped me rediscover my love of writing after I thought years of depression had killed it for good. Just don't force yourself to do so, and stop if it takes you to a darker place instead of feeling cathartic
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gaythreadrunner · 5 months
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so you're taking care of your computer's software health. NICE! but what about its physical health?
because yes, computers do need the occasional real-world checkup to make sure that they're running well. but what exactly does that entail? i see many posts about maintaining software health: limit your browser tabs, ensure your antiviruses are working properly, so on and so forth, but checking the physical components is something i sparsely see discussed here.
so what's the deal with physical maintenance? well, have you ever had your computer hack and wheeze trying to keep up even if your OS and all your drivers are up to date and functioning? if you've never opened up your computer before, you may be shocked to find just how FILTHY it can get in there:
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take a closer look at that snout dust! PTOOEY .. BLECKH
computers are much more likely to accumulate internal dust if they're sitting on the floor, and especially if they're near any vents and/or if you have pets.
ok, you've figured out how to open your device and now you're staring at the second coming of the dust bowl in your gaming rig. what now? let's explore some basic cleaning tips, deep cleaning pointers for your CPU/GPU, and tips to help keep maintain your computer's physical health in the future.
first of all, turn off your computer and unplug it (for my computer, i turn it off, turn off the PSU switch, unplug it, and then press the power button for about 30 seconds to drain the capacitors and minimize static risk)
generally, you're gonna want to have THESE items:
some sort of face mask (dust masks are best, but anything that'll help keep the harmful dust out of your lungs will generally work)
a can of compressed air (or an electric duster if you're ~fancy~. they look and function like turbo blowdryers)
a vacuum will be useful if there's a LOT of dust, best to use in combination with an anti-static cleaning kit
if you ARE gonna use a vacuum, spray every attachment you use with an anti-static spray. disturbing large amounts of dust creates a lot of static, and electronics are very sensitive to that.
it's never a bad idea to grab an grounding wristband as well, but as long as you wear loose clothes and always keep some part of your skin in contact with the case, you should be ok. (i don't know how much this applies to laptops and smaller devices, since the cases for those are typically plastic)
if there's staining (like from smoke) or there's more gunk caked on than you thought, you can gently clean electronic components with a brush/paper towel/microfiber and medical-grade isopropyl alcohol ONLY. do not use any other cleaning alcohols for this task.
before you do anything, TAKE THAT FUCKER OUTSIDE! always clean a dusty device where the wind can carry that shit away, because oh my GOD will it fuck up your lungs like crazy. (that, and compressed air cans have fluorocarbons in them, which isn't great to breathe in either)
most of the time, you'll probably be fine just using an air duster. for compressed air cans, spray the dirty surfaces in short bursts. an electric duster can be constantly blown. when dusting fans, make sure that you're holding the blades still as to not accidentally make them spin too fast (ESPECIALLY with an electric duster!), since that can damage the mechanism that makes them spin.
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however, if there's a lot of dust, it may be better to give it a vacuuming first. anything from a handheld to a shop vac will work, and attachments with brushes on the end will help tons with loosening up even more dust. and of course ALWAYS make sure that you're spraying any attachments with anti-static spray, and keep a hand on the case of the computer to electrically ground yourself since the hose will be in contact with the internals.
if there's any left over, give it a blast with the duster.
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in some rare cases, there may be some extra gunk caked onto the internals, and you may have to really get your hands in there or take components out individually. if you don't have an anti static wristband (the ones with an alligator clip) do your best to ALWAYS keep your skin in contact with the case as you're finagling around in there.
it's probably a good idea to have disposable gloves on for this. grab your isopropyl and towel of choice (microfiber is ideal, but dirtier PCs may need disposable paper/shop towels), soak it a little bit, and gently scrub off the gunk n' grime as needed.
with heat sinks specifically, since they're just big blocks of metal, they're the one part of a component that can be cleaned under water. if a dusting doesn't suffice, gently scrub it with a brush under warm, soapy water, rinse thoroughly, and let it dry on a towel for a few hours before reassembling it into the electronic components.
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if there's still little bits stuck in the radiator fins, stick an isopropyl-soaked q-tip in there to push it out.
the dust settles, everything's put back together, and it's all clean in there again. YAY!!!!! but what if you're still experiencing temperature problems? well, it typically comes down to either the CPU or GPU:
IF ITS THE CPU: if you took off the cooler to clean it, then i hope you remembered to dab some fresh thermal paste on there. you should be replacing thermal paste few years, otherwise it dries out and loses its effectiveness.
the type you use makes a huge difference too; i like to use arctic's mx-4, it has excellent thermal conductivity while still being an electrical insulator, so spillover isn't a problem. if you go for a liquid metal compound, please do your research first, since some of them can run the risk of corroding the cooler pipes and/or the CPU's outer casing.
to replace thermal paste, make sure that the crusty old paste is sufficiently scrubbed off the contact points of both the CPU and cooler. again, use isopropyl for this. once it's all cleaned off, put about a pea-sized amount of paste on the CPU and carefully lower the cooler onto the mounting bracket before fastening it in place. (also it really doesn't matter how you put the paste on, as long as it ends up covering most of the contact area)
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also if you're still using the cooler your CPU came with, you should probably get a better cooler. especially if you're doing gaming or using graphically/mathematically intensive software. sorry. the stock coolers that most CPUs come with are mid as hell. you can get a nice ARGB one for less than 20 USD i promise its worth it
IF ITS THE GPU: like CPUs, your graphics card also needs to have its thermal paste cleaned out and replaced every so often. but they also utilize a second thermal material called thermal pads. these are usually made of either silica gel or a very thick clay-like grease, and come in different thicknesses. my favoured pads are owltree's 12.8w grease pads, the assorted pack comes with enough for about 4-5 GPUs.
taking apart a GPU seems scary, and understandably so; they're incredibly expensive and hard-working pieces of technology! but i've done it twice now, and it's actually surprisingly simple (as long as you keep track of all the damn screws... im lucky there's a magnetized screw mat in the house i can use)
i recommend watching a deep clean/teardown video of the GPU model you have before digging into it yourself. generally, they separate into 4 distinct portions: the outer shell, the heatsink, the board, and the backplate.
the shell contains the fans and any possible RGB elements. it'll have 1-2 controllers plugged into the board, one for the fans and one for the lighting elements if there are any. once the case is unscrewed, unplug these connectors with a firm squeeze and tug.
these tend to be surprisingly dusty on the inside, so it's probably a good idea to blast it with a duster. again, make sure to hold the fans so they don't overspin. you can also remove the fans from the shell and clean them individually if you'd like.
the heatsink is BIG and heavy, and you can do all the same stuff here that you would with a CPU cooler heatsink. it may take a bit of effort to tug off if the thermal materials are really making it stick to the board. once it's off, scrub the old thermal paste, blast it with a duster, and wash under soapy water if needed before rinsing thoroughly and leaving it to dry for a while.
the backplate is just a flat piece of metal that protects the back side of the board. usually all this will need is a simple wipedown.
the board is where all the magic happens, and will usually have a layout that's something like this:
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clean up as needed; gently scrub off old thermal paste, scrape off the old thermal pads (but take close note of how thick they are so you can replace them with the correct pads), and brush/wipe down the dust and grease on each side as needed. take care to avoid touching the PCIe connector too much (the bar of golden pins that juts out from the bottom)
thermal padding varies from card to card (i recommend checking thermal pad placements for your gpu in water cooling guides, even if you're not doing water cooling) but it's typically gonna be on THESE spots:
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the VRAM chips surrounding the die (main chip) along with the small black chips next to the capacitors will require thermal pads the most. cut each one to size, carefully peel off the plastic films, and press each piece onto the chips.
now you can grab your thermal paste and put some on that big shiny die. now take your freshly pasted/padded board and CAREFULLY lower it back onto the heatsink. i highly suggest having a good source of lightning for this, since shifting around the pieces too much trying to get them to align properly can displace the thermal pads and mess with how the paste spreads.
screw the heatsink tight to the board, and double check to make sure that the pads and paste are snug against the heat sink. now put the backplate and shell back on and BAM YOU'RE DONE! with the paste and pads i used, i was able to bring down the temperature of my cards by a good 10-15 °C.
ok you've done all this deep cleaning shit and your computer is happy and healthy. what can you do for your computer's health in the future?
DUST AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR. haul that thang outside and spray that shit out to stop it from building up for too long.
KEEP IT OFF THE FLOOR. if you can, of course, not everyone has the desk room for it. computers accumulate dust easier when they're close to the floor. if you do need to keep it on the floor, you might have to dust it every 6-8 months rather than once a year.
AND STOP PUTTING YOUR LAPTOPS ON SOFT SURFACES I SWEAR TO GOD
GET A FAN CONTROLLER. motherboards are DOGSHIT at maintaining fan speeds!!!! there are physical fan hubs that use controller software, but if you can't afford that, fancontrol by rem0o is a stellar software-only option.
IF YOU DON'T ALREADY HAVE CASE FANS, GET THEM. the number of fans depends on the motherboard form factor your case can accommodate (ATX cases typically have 6-8), but having that air circulation is very important to maintaining ideal temperatures. arctic makes fantastic budget-friendly fans.
IF YOU HAVE AN NVMe HARD DRIVE: please put an aluminum heat sink on that thang. they get toasty :(
OK THATS IT I THINK. if anyone else has tips they wanna add, go right on ahead. ok thank you bye your computer will love you
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*makes a whole bunch of art and crafts*
“I want to sell this so I can make EVEN MORE and also hopefully someone else will enjoy it!”
*can’t fucking drive because of my gods damned epilepsy*
“Alright, so, while I could probably walk this stuff to the ups store two blocks over during spring and fall, once it starts to get really snowy the sidewalks are going to be shit and i don’t want to risk damaging something before I can even send it!” 🥲🫠
#emma posts#all summer it was an issue of time and temperature#i overheat easily#and while I can walk more once the weather gets below like 75 I guess? maybe 80. there is only a limited opening before the rain turns into#snow and i have to trudge through poorly maintained sidewalks without damaging my art#if the city kept the sidewalks clearer it would probably work#but sometimes a sidewalk will just stop existing for at least four months because the snowplows will cover it up#and it will be under like four feet of snowpack that was pushed out of the way for cars#I don’t know what to do 😫#and sure. there IS public transportation here. but they don’t go everywhere and have to be scheduled at least 24hours in advance#I’m also insecure about some of my stuff#some of it i would even give away for free because of that but then it would cost me money to ship#i have photography up online. sure. but the physical things#those are the problem#i especially love to create jewelry but I can only give away so much as gifts#and it would be nice to make some money back so I can keep making more and improving#but then every time I make an improvement I feel like shit about my old stuff!#I am trying to figure out the best way to seal the paper and glass in a pendant without the glue smudging it#and while my old work isn’t BAD. it’s worse than it could be#I don’t do much except read and make art so I keep wanting to create and share more#but im so bad at the sales part#if I liked knitting I could donate it and stuff#but i don’t think many places would take handmade jewelry and stuff#I know a place in a large city a few hours away that might. but they are… not the easiest to get to#creating things is my passion and makes me happy and since I can’t drive it’s one of the only things I can do regularly#but I want to do SOMETHING with what I make#and if I made money off it i could make even more stuff! and also maybe save up for better equipment!#over the years I’ve gotten really good at finding cheap options. but sometimes you just can’t get something super cheap#I’ve been wondering if my friend who has started a photography business would be open to teaming up#but she does portraits and I do everything but that
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be-good-to-bugs · 7 months
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i need to draw more or my brain will explode. i was going to draw a bunch yesterday but instead i played power wash simulator for 8 1/2 hours
#the bin#i bought it yesterday morning and it was a mistake bc now all i wanna do is play the game#my body hurts from not moving and doing the same repetitive motion with my arm for 8 hours#8 1/2 hours is how long im scheduled for work. its an hour more than i actually spend doing work bc of breaks.#im gonna try to draw today tho. i still felt sick so i didnt go into work again. i hope theyre not mad but i also dont care. not like they#can fire me bc they dont have anyone to replace me woth and they need me. my prev managers wpuldnt have cared much but#one of the new ones sucks. i want put of this job. it shoukd not be these employees responsibilities to figure out what product#needs pit out and what doesnt (menaing like. we need more of this product bc people are buying it) thats supposed to be the managers job but#hes not doing his job. hes micromanaging. its supposed to be like assembly line type work but they move people around for no reason#and get upset when theyre slow bc they just had to chnage jobs. even im having to go faster even though im fully doing enough#theyre pushing the pricers to go faster and put mor eout which means theres more for me to put out on each cart so it takes me 10-12 insteda#of 5-10 and like. its physically impossible for a person to complete one of these carts with such a variety of objects in 5 minutes#its just not possible. its expactations for how itd work if everything went in the same aslienbut its all split aross a ton of them#i didnt get the job i interviewed for i tjink bc of the time available i gave them bc the person was clearly interested in hiring me#i said i could do any timw but she asked what id prefer. i saw on her paper that she wrote it not as id do any so the fact i can do anytime#prob got forgotten. well#im gonna apply some places today. id like something different very soon. everyone is stressed and working there has quickly become much#worse than before. i think a lot of people are gonna leave bc of this new managers. its a stressful job by nature and he makes it muchw orse
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bigguyenthusiast · 2 months
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141 and their captain’s assistant
- it all started with a comment made by Laswell, she mentioned to John how tired he seems, how his eye bags are growing heavier each day passing
- she recommended him to get an assistant, John declined the offer and tried to get back to work, but laswell already made the call, she knew how annoying John can be when it comes to getting help
- then enters a pretty little thing, your hair in a messy bun, glasses neatly resting on your pretty face, short pencil skirt hugging your curves perfectly
- John couldn’t help himself from staring, gawking at you like some horny teenager
- the boys began seeing you scurrying around the base more often, the first to approach you was Johnny of course
- his deep voice partnered with his thick Scottish accent made you subconsciously bite your lip, staring up at him with your big doe eyes, you don’t even mean to, it’s just that more than half of the people in here were 6feet+
- Johnny’s flirtatious nature made you giggle, lightened up your day, but not your boss’
- every time the Scott decided to drop by your desk to accompany you, he’d get scolded by his captain
- “don’t need you distracting her from her job”
- “it’s her break, cap, plus, she’ a good lass, I’m sure she’s on top of…all her work” the scott would throw you a wink before his captain orders him to run laps around the base
- next came gaz, since he’s always visiting his captain’s office for reports, he saw you at the new desk in the captain’s office, the aura around you not matching anything in the dim, old and boring office, you gave him a slight smile before returning to your paperwork
- but gaz wasn’t going to let that be the end of your interactions no no
- he’d walk up to you in the mess hall, as you’re loading your plate up, striking a conversation with you, making last long enough for him to lead you to a table with his other teammates
- you shyly but politely sit down and introduce yourself to the masked man who sat opposite of you, his brown eyes staring into yours as his arms stayed locked, he just nodded and replied “ghost”
- you figured he’s not a social one, the Scot and the Brit both kept asking you questions, some may have been a bit intrusive but maybe they’re just being friendly !
- “so why ar’ ye here?”
“Kate laswell requested that I work for John price for a few months to ease the paperwork load on him”
- “I’m sure there’s a different kind of load he’s trying to get you to ease off of him”
- the three of your heads snap to the silent man, his brown eyes seemed to be crinkled, suggesting he was grinning or smirking underneath that mask
- “OI! LT’s got jokes, but he doesn’t mean anything by it” Johnny tried to reassure you, glaring at Simon as you looked down at your food
- you excused yourself as you made your way back to price’s office, you saw him still there, no signs of him moving at all “captain ? Did you eat today?” You asked sweetly
- oh what this man wouldn’t give to have the honours of eating you for every meal of the day, to have you sprawled on his desk, papers sticking to your sweaty skin, your chest rising and falling as you try to quiet yourself so nobody hears what your captain is doing to you
- “captain” fuck he’d love to hear you moan his rank, begging him to be gentle, but he knows deep down you’re a dirty girl and you want your “captain ?!”
- John snapped out of his daydream, he looked up at you, you were leaning to the side trying to check on him “have you eaten today?” You asked again, a worried look in your eyes
- John nods, not looking you in the eyes “yeah yeah” he cleared his throat as he tried to get back to work, but your soft, smaller hand stopped him from grabbing his pen, his brown eyes looked up, ab eyebrow raised as if to ask ‘what are you doing?’
- “I’m sorry, captain but I can’t allow you to get back to work if you haven’t had food” you stated, your body trembling as you stood your ground
- truthfully, price can easily launch you across the room with one arm, he knows his limits, and you’re nowhere near it, but you were right, he does need to eat, and although he wishes he could order you to spread your pretty thighs for him and let him have his fun, he doesn’t want to lose such a pretty sight so fast
- he let go of the pen, leaning back on his office chair “I haven’t brought any food”
“The mess hall still have some food there”
- “I don’t eat that rubbish”
“Well too bad, you need to eat”
- ooh… I guess his little kitty got claws now
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kentofic · 2 months
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Eyes on me - Nanami Kento x f!reader
absolute pwp 18+ MDNI — cw: dry humping, oral, overstimulation, praise, throat fucking, a needy brat of a reader, and just all around self-indulgent filth
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Fuck the euphemisms and the beating around the bush. You’re horny. You’ve been clenching your thighs all day at work. You’ve been indulging in dirty daydreams that always end in you bent over a desk. You’ve been doing kegels just to feel something.
But Kento is holed up in his office, ignoring you.
You pace back and forth in front of the door to his home office. You figure you should leave him be. He already hates overtime, and he’s probably in a rotten mood. But you’ve had such a long day, and you’re so wound up now, you won’t get through even the coldest shower without breaking and touching yourself. And to be fair, you’re usually fine with touching yourself. But right now, you need to be touched by him.
“I can hear you clomping around out there.”
You stop in your tracks, grimacing. You hear Kento sigh before he says, “You can come in.”
You open the door a sliver and peek in to see Kento with his head propped up in one hand, the other poised over a pile of documents. Still working, as you thought. And a full hour past quitting time, which explains why his brow is pinched with annoyance.
“What do you need, sweetheart?” he asks, eyes locked on yours.
“I was, uh…lonely. Just wanted to see you,” you grin sheepishly, stepping into the room and closing the door behind you. He says nothing for a moment, just looks you over with those sharp, observant eyes. Those eyes that burn through you, pooling molten warmth in your gut. You fidget under the weight of his gaze and squeeze your thighs together, trying not to look as desperate as you feel.
“Hmm,” Kento murmurs, sitting back in his chair with a wry smile. “Lonely isn’t the word I would use.”
You stiffen, crossing your arms over your chest. He’s right, but hey. “Well, what word would you use then?” you huff, bottom lip poked out in a pout. He smirks.
“Needy.”
You splutter for a moment, caught. You try to explain it away, tripping over your words, while Kento observes you with an amused smile.
“Relax, sweetheart,” he interrupts you once he’s had his fill of your stammering, eyes glittering with mirth. He pats his thighs, his slacks stretched deliciously taut over the thick muscle. “Come here.”
Your heart swells, embarrassment forgotten. You rush over with the intent of clambering into his lap. He stops you for a moment, holding you at arm’s length as he smooths your hair out of your face. You’re so pent up that even that innocent action makes you want to whimper. But his smile has tempered back to a serious expression, so you bite back your desperation and try to show him you’re listening.
“I need to get these papers sorted tonight,” he says. You frown, and he sighs. “I know, I don’t want to do them either, but they need to get done. It shouldn’t take long. If you can be good and occupy yourself until I’m finished, then…”
He trails off for a moment, grazing his thumb over your bottom lip. Your nerves buzz at the short, tender contact. “Then I’ll take care of you. Understood?”
Heat unfurls at the base of your stomach. “Understood,” you salute, overeager. He chuckles.
Kento leans back to make room for you. You settle yourself in his lap, facing him, hooking your legs over his hips and pressing yourself to his broad, warm chest. He’s so tall, it’s easy enough for him to hook his head over your shoulder and keep working. You press your face into his shoulder and breathe in the fresh, familiar scent of his aftershave. You should feel calm, content, like you often do when he holds you like this. Instead you just feel even more hot and bothered, and you can’t help but want to fidget and find some friction against him.
Kento said to be good. But he also said you could occupy yourself. And then he let you climb onto his lap. So, really, hasn’t he given you permission to occupy yourself… using his lap?
A little rub wouldn’t hurt, you reason. It might help ease the sharp burn of desire between your legs—reduce the tension that has you all strung out. He already knows that you’re all worked up. You’re just taking care of yourself until he can do it for you. Yeah, you think, a little rubbing would be fine.
You shuffle your hips against him experimentally, holding your breath for a reaction. Kento does shut down your bratty antics from time to time. But he doesn’t stir, doesn’t chide you, just keeps scratching away at whatever documents he’s tending to. You shift your hips down again, more deliberately—it can’t be mistaken for repositioning. Still, he says nothing. So you shift forward again, and this time you fully grind down with the pressure you need. The friction is delicious, and a little moan bubbles up from your throat.
You feel Kento’s hand come up to grasp the back of your neck, his thumb rubbing against the sensitive spot under your ear. You freeze, a pleasant shiver running through you. He hasn’t scolded you, but his gentle grip on your neck makes you feel like he wants you to ask.
“Kento,” you mumble into his shoulder, “…Is this okay?”
“Is what okay, my love?” he replies, seemingly indifferent—as if his warm hand isn’t smoothing down the length of your back before stopping to grasp at the soft flesh of your hip. You let out a shaky breath as you shudder.
“…R-Rubbing myself on you? While I wait,” you say in a soft rush of air. You press your face into his neck, cheeks prickling with warmth.
Kento lets out a slow, measured exhale and squeezes your hip. He chuckles, the sound low and rumbling and so obviously pleased.
“Do as you like, sweetheart.”
You hear him pick up his pen again, but his non dominant hand keeps a firm grip on your hip. You feel his promise to take care of you seared into you with each pad of his fingers.
You start grinding down on him again, building a rhythm. It feels so good— the pressure and friction and warmth of him against you, even through layers of fabric. You feel him start to harden beneath you, and you smile to yourself. Even if his mind is occupied with silly paperwork, Kento’s body belongs to you and only you.
A wicked little idea starts to take form in your mind.
You let soft, deliberate sounds of pleasure spill from your lips as you grind into Kento’s steadily growing erection. You pant as you rock against him, fanning warm breath across his neck with each exhale, your lips just barely brushing his skin. You relish in how your usually unflappable lover stiffens, your soft lips and sweet little sounds curling a shudder down his spine. You don’t push it too far—you agreed to be good after all. But you dance up to the line, feeling equal parts giddy and greedy.
Emboldened by Kento’s small reactions, you slowly swirl your hips the way you know he loves, and you let out a breathy sigh of his name. You feel the muscles of his neck tense, and he clears his throat. You think he might finally chide you, but he doesn’t. Wordlessly, he reaches between you to readjust his cock so it isn’t pinned to the side as it strains against his slacks. He aligns it vertically, his flushed tip peeking out from his waistband. You grin widely, having won your prize. You’re not the only one who’s needy now.
You press down against him, rutting your clothed cunt against the underside of his cock. His breath hitches as the soft material of your shorts catches against his sensitive tip, and you know soon it’ll be smeared with precum. You rock against him with a fervor now, trying to shift your hips at a better angle each time, pitching your pelvis forward to try and catch more of your clit on each down and upward motion. Trying to get more of that delicious friction that’s pooling wetness in your panties. But even as you pant softly into his shoulder and work yourself against him, you know it won’t be enough.
It’s all Kento’s fault. Before you met him, an orgasm was a simple delight that your own fingers could give you with ease. But now your body knows him. It knows how he feels pressed deep into you, snug against your cervix, filling you up completely. It knows the true depths of pleasure that you’re capable of feeling only when he’s inside you. Even if he hasn’t left any lasting marks, Kento has engraved himself into your body.
You need him to fill you. And right now, you’re warm and wet, but so empty.
You whimper, rocking yourself faster, more desperately. It feels good—really good—but the more you try to chase that goodness to an orgasm, the quicker it seems to slip away. You’re riding a wave that refuses to crest and crash down—it just undulates over and over. You screw your eyes shut, trying to focus on that small flame inside you, trying to get it to burn just a little bit brighter.
Then all of a sudden, Kento’s other hand is sinking into your hip and he’s griiinding up into you with so much pressure that you gasp.
“Not enough, is it?” Kento says, his voice husky and strained.
You let out a sound halfway between a whimper and a sigh of relief. “Not enough. I need you,” you pant, your hips still bucking against his—chasing the heat of his reciprocating friction.
Without warning, Kento stands up, and you squeal as you lose balance on his lap. You lock your legs around his waist and throw your arms around his shoulders to avoid falling. He uses one arm to hold you up, and with the other hand he neatly gathers and tucks his documents into a drawer. With a soft grunt, he sits you down on his cleared desk.
You start to release your koala-like hold on him, only for him to pull you into a searing kiss that has you scrabbling at the nape of his neck for purchase. His tongue licks into your mouth with a force and precision that makes you moan. You kiss him back in earnest, your legs still locked around his waist, drawing him in as close as you can.
You both part, panting. Kento caresses your cheek with his thumb as he looks at you with those dark, lust-glazed eyes that say without words that he intends to devour you. Then he places a hand in the center of your chest and gently pushes you down on your back. You stare up at the light fixture, dizzied, as he lifts your legs from around his waist and scoots you further back onto the desk.
You gasp when you feel him lift your hips and remove your shorts and panties in a single, sharp tug. You’re bare to him now—the cool air making your wet folds feel icy cold. But only for a moment. Because then he presses that searing hot tongue to your core and oh. You can’t help but arch up into the sensation as the flat of his tongue slides through your folds, lapping up the mess you’ve made while waiting for him.
“Sweetheart.” You feel the affectionate name rumble against your sensitive folds. “You’re dripping. All this for me?”
“Y-yes—fuck, Kento,” you whimper as he dives in again, working his tongue into your sopping entrance before slowly licking back up to your clit. “I couldn’t wait—I need you, Kento, please—“
You’re cut off by your own moan as he seals his lips around your clit and sucks. Your hips lift off the desk to meet the hot, wet suction as best you can. He lets you press yourself into his mouth, sucking hungrily at the sensitive nub until your thighs are trembling. Then he releases your clit with a wet sound, and he works back into your soaking folds to taste you again, groaning softly as he slurps and swallows down your arousal.
That small flame you were chasing while grinding against him is now building into an all-consuming fire. You can feel the pulse of it deep in you as the sensation mounts, stronger and hotter. The pleasure Kento gives you is so intense and sudden after hours of restraining yourself, you feel your body starting to run away with the feeling—a freight train gaining speed, out of your control. You’re going to come if he doesn’t stop, and this isn’t how you want it, even as good as it is.
“Kento, gonna come,” you gasp out, clawing at the smooth surface of his desk. “Don’ wanna come—stop, stop, I don’t want to come yet—“
Kento lifts his mouth from you the moment you say stop, but he doesnt remove his face from between your legs. He peers up at you from there with those sharp eyes, half-lidded and dark. The visual alone could send you over the edge if you weren’t desperately trying to stave off your own orgasm.
“And why don’t you want to come yet?” he asks with suspicion—seemingly resentful that you pulled him away from such a delicious meal.
You swallow, trying to catch your breath. You know what you want, and embarrassment aside, you’re determined to have it.
“Wanna come on your cock,” you say softly.
It’s not just dirty talk, or a move to play up his ego. You need it. You’ve needed it all day—to come undone with him splitting you open, filling every inch of you.
The moment you make your request, Kento’s expression shifts, and for a second, your desperate desire is mirrored on his face. Then in a quick succession of motions, he’s standing up, undoing his belt, pulling his cock out of his pants, and yanking your hips towards him with such sharpness that you yelp.
“You’re so good, you know that?” he murmurs as he leans over you, one hand aligning his cock with your entrance. He cups your face, tilting it so you look into his eyes as he presses the blunt head against your opening. You whimper at the beginning of the stretch.
“So fucking good for me. So perfect,” he rasps, his eyes burning. “Asking for what you want like a good girl. You want to come on my cock? Then go ahead and come, sweetheart.”
He slams into you in one precise thrust that has you squealing at the sudden, blinding-hot stretch of it—the press of it into the deepest parts of you all at once. Even if you’ve had it a thousand times before, the way he fills you still hits you like a boulder. He thrusts once, twice, three times, each devastatingly deep, and you’re gasping for air as if he’s fucked all the breath out of you.
This. This is exactly what you needed. To be taken apart by him in the way only he can. You can’t contain the blaze that’s been built by your dry humping, and the wet heat of his tongue, and him, just him—the man that drives you wild just by sitting there and doing paperwork. Kento holds your gaze as he fucks into you, looking at you like you’re a treasure, like he wants to eat you alive, so utterly devoted that it makes your heart swell, and it’s too much. It’s all too much, in the very best way.
Everything locks down and the heat explodes. You cry out his name when you come, your body shuddering and writhing with the force of it. Kento stills his hips and lets you pulse and clench around him as it works, and you swear you only ever want to come with him inside of you—the fullness radiating pleasure into the deepest parts of you.
When you finally come down from your high, you’re still trembling, and Kento is smoothing your hair out of your face as he studies you. His expression is soft but dark in an indecipherable way.
When your lucid eyes find his, he asks, “Did that feel good, sweetheart?”
You nod weakly, and you feel his cock jump a little inside you. He smiles softly, tracing his thumb over the apple of your cheek.
“Mm, that’s good, love. Now give me another.”
Before you can process it, before you can open your mouth to protest, he’s drawing out of you and plunging back in with full force, and you scream.
Your brain and body are already fried from your first orgasm, haven’t had time to recalibrate—and he wants another. And he seems determined to take it from you.
Kento sets an unforgiving rhythm, pounding into you with deep precision, bottoming out every time he rolls his hips into yours. Every drag of his girth against your walls feels like it sprays off sparks of electricity, and you can’t help but try to curl back from him, trying to escape the intensity of the feeling. Your recoiling is met with a firm grip on your neck—not enough to truly choke you, but enough to keep you from scrambling away.
“No running,” he says in a warning tone, snapping his hips forward with each deep thrust, never slowing his pace.
“‘s too much,” you slur out. You’re trying not to run, you’re trying your best to take it, but it’s so hard when every stroke feels so white hot.
“You can take it, sweetheart. Give me another, I know you can,” Kento coos—and you want to. There’s nothing you want more than to give Kento whatever he asks for, especially when he’s sweating and flushed and looking so in love as he thrusts into you.
“I’m trying, ‘m tryin’” you whine, hot tears starting to prickle in your eyes at the overstimulation.
“It’s okay, love, just let go. Let go and give me another,” Kento says, more softly now, moving his hand from your neck to cradle the side of your head. He presses a kiss to your forehead as he works deep in you. “You know what to say if you want me to stop.”
You shake your head, bottom lip trembling as the tears spill down your cheeks. “I wan’ to, I want to—but I can’t.”
“You can, and you will. You’re going to right now, love, I can feel it,” he says lowly, and oh. Oh. Oh fuck. He’s right.
Your body’s feedback to your brain must be delayed, because you don’t even feel your peak building until it’s suddenly there—looming over you, drawing your whole body up taut before crashing down like a tsunami. Your second orgasm blazes through you in an instant, and you let out a strangled cry as it takes you by surprise.
“Good girl, there it is,” Kento soothes as you writhe and sob through it. He finally slows his pace as you shudder and whimper and grab at his shirt to keep yourself grounded—trying to keep yourself from completely falling apart.
You lose focus of his face for a moment—your eyes must roll back, because you hear him say “Eyes on me, love” in that low, smooth voice of his. With some effort, Kento swims back into your vision—his expression a portrait of lust and reverence. If you weren’t in the throes of such miserable pleasure, you might notice how his hands are starting to shake, how his jaw is clenched, how his hips stutter as he slowly, slowly strokes in and out of you now—on the edge of losing control.
You gradually come down from your peak until you’re back on solid ground. You blink up at Kento, dazed, your head resting heavy against the hard wood of his desk. You devour the sight of him above you. He’s panting softly, a few strands loose from his usual slicked-back hair and now hanging into his eyes. His tie is loose and his dress shirt is rumpled from where you gripped it. An unkempt, sex-mussed Kento—the sight makes you throb, and you wonder how your body can still respond to him after coming twice.
At least his hips are still now, which is a small mercy for your blindingly sensitive cunt. You gaze up at him, eyes soft, as he wipes the tears from your cheeks with the pad of his thumb. You turn your head to catch his thumb in your mouth and suck it, and he lets out a low groan.
“Don’t do that unless you’re ready to give me one more, sweet girl,” he warns.
You promptly release the digit, which makes him laugh. He presses his thumb back between your lips and watches lovingly as you lave over it with your tongue then release it with a final, wet kiss. He can’t help but shudder a little, and you notice.
“Are you close?” you ask softly, and he nods.
“Don’t know if I can hold back. I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmurs, looking a little pained. You can see now the visible signs of his restraint, and it warms your heart that he’s worried about you. Even when he takes you beyond your limits, he’d never push you to the point of breaking.
“I don’t know if my pussy can take any more right now,” you admit, your thighs still trembling. “…But if you want, you can fuck my mouth,” you grin, your mouth watering at the thought.
Kento’s eyes widen, then darken, and a soft groan slips from his lips as he surges forward to kiss you.
“You dirty little thing,” he murmurs, nipping at your bottom lip before soothing over it with his tongue. “So good for me. Get on your knees.”
You scramble to comply, and Kento helps lever you up and off the desk so you can kneel at his feet. He grabs a cushion from his chair and leans down to slip it under your knees, pressing a soft kiss to your temple as he draws back to his full height. Your heart brims with affection at the simple sweetness of the action.
You look up at him with wide, adoring eyes, and press soft kisses to his thigh that make him shudder. His cock is hard and heavy between his legs, flushed and shining with your own wetness. You grab the base, testing the girth in your hands, and Kento lets out a soft, strangled sound.
“You really are close, huh?” you giggle, licking a stripe from base to tip, tasting yourself on his hot flesh.
He grits out a moan, squeezing his eyes shut as you take his swollen tip between your lips. You suck on him gently, circling your tongue around the head, and you feel him throb on your tongue in response. Kento’s hand finds its place in your hair, gripping firmly as he slowly rocks into your mouth. You open your jaw further and meet his shallow thrusts with eager bobs of your head, sucking greedily around him.
You love taking Kento in your mouth, if for no other reason than to drink in his reactions. The soft grunts and pants and groans you pull from him make you preen. You watch him through your eyelashes—the way his brow is knitted, his jaw slack and bottom lip trembling with restrained pleasure. You do your best to burn the image into your mind. Though there is one part of this gorgeous vision that could be improved. You pull off his cock with a wet sound and rest his throbbing shaft on your cheek as you squeeze the base with one hand.
“Eyes on me, Ken,” you grin, parroting his earlier words. The irony isn’t lost on Kento, who lets out a sound between a scoff and a chuckle. He dutifully opens his eyes and peeks down at you, his pupils blown wide with lust. When his eyes meet yours, he groans and turns his head away, his cock twitching against your cheek.
“I really won’t last if I look at you, sweetheart,” he says, his voice breaking with the effort to restrain himself.
“I don’t care if you last. I want to taste you already,” you grin. He huffs out a shaky breath as you rub his tip against your slick, swollen lips. “Fuck my mouth, Kento. I want you to come down my throat,” you urge him, your eyes burning into his.
His breath hitches, and you feel his hand tighten its grip in your hair. “…I can’t be gentle,” he warns you, eyes flaring and voice tight.
“Then don’t be,” you hum, smiling before kissing the tip of his cock. Kento’s hips twitch, and he groans.
“Fuck. I am going to ruin you,” he murmurs, cupping your jaw and rubbing his thumb over your bottom lip. “If you can’t take it, slap my leg. If you don’t, I won’t stop.”
A thrill runs through you, and you feel your pulse throb through your cunt. You nod, dizzied and giddy with the promise of Kento using your throat.
You slacken your jaw and place his tip on your tongue, then look up at him with expectant eyes—waiting for him to set the pace. He hisses a breath out through his teeth as he readjusts his grip in your hair—then he plunges his cock into the waiting heat of your throat.
You gag at the intrusion, but you do your best to open your throat, even as your body jerks as you choke around him. He sets an unforgiving pace, stuffing his cock down your tight, wet throat as you try diligently to take him—fresh tears burning in your eyes from the effort.
He moans as you take everything he gives you, his gaze fixed on the way your lips stretch around him—a slick mess of spit and precum clinging to his shaft and dripping down your chin as he fucks into your mouth. Tears are streaming down your cheeks now, but you don’t tap out—you just dig your fingers into Kento’s thighs, deliriously happy to choke around him if it’s for his pleasure.
“Fuck—sweetheart, you’re so fucking perfect—taking me so well, choking on me—gonna make me f-fucking come—“
Mindless praise spills from Kento’s lips like a prayer as he rocks into the wet heat of your mouth, his pleasure threatening to surge up and over the edge. You can sense how close he is now, and the thrill of it has your aching cunt throbbing again. Kento watches in amazement as you slither your hand between your thighs, rubbing haphazard circles around your clit as you gag on his cock.
You force your eyes open, tears clinging to your lashes as you look up at Kento, desperately wanting to see how he looks right now, so close to coming. You expect him to have his eyes squeezed shut with impending bliss, but you find he’s staring at you, mouth agape, gaze reverent and drunk from pleasure. And the moment your glassy, tear-filled eyes lock with his, he’s gone.
Kento comes with a choked sound, snapping a final deep thrust into your throat before stilling as his hot cum spurts down your throat.
You do your best to swallow it, but you can’t take it all. You pull off with a wet gasp, coughing and spluttering as you try not to choke on the cum coating your mouth and throat. Kento shudders through the aftershocks of his orgasm, transfixed by the sight of you gasping for air, thick strings of saliva and cum running down your chin and connecting your mouth to his cock. That heady mixture of spit and cum drips and splatters on your shirt, your thighs, the floor, as you cough and catch your breath.
Mind still hazy with pleasure, Kento fumbles around to help you. He digs through his drawers and finds a handkerchief. He kneels down, cups your jaw, and begins to wipe your wet mouth and chin. He cleans your face gently, dazed and murmuring praises—before you cut him off with a whine.
“‘M sorry, Kento,” you whimper, looking genuinely disappointed.
“For what, love? You were perfect,” he soothes, confusion knitting his brow. You meet his gaze with a frown.
“I wasted your cum. I really wanted to drink it,” you say glumly, staring at the mess of cum staining your shirt and your thighs.
A beat passes as Kento stares at you with amazement, then he huffs out an incredulous laugh. He pulls you to his chest, shaking with mirth, as he smooths a hand down your back. You melt into him, and he presses a kiss to the top of your head.
“Oh, sweetheart, that’s alright. There’s more where that came from.”
You feel his wet, spent cock stir against your thigh.
———
a/n: the first time i had multiple orgasms i thought i was gonna die. idk how you guys are surviving 3+ back to back 😭 anyways I’ve looked at this way too long—please take it away from me 💀
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