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#i don't know why but i've been feeling down lately
11cupid-tarot11 · 3 days
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Short Channeled Letters From Your Boo! 💜
🪽
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Pile 1 -> 3
Dm me for private readings!
$1.11 per question, c@shapp- $minnieplant3
Tips appreciated! 🩵
Love y'all! -Cupid 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪.
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Pile 1-
Hi you! ;)
I want to get right to the point. I might be distant lately, I know we used to hang out quite a lot, right? I miss it too. I miss you. Literally every single thing about you down to the smallest of details and I think you miss me too. You see me everywhere, don't you? I see you too, in my dreams, every time I close my eyes. No one understands me like you do, no one knows what I've been through like you do, we're best friends so of course this separation would hurt you, it hurts me too, but it's the best thing I could think to do. I found myself falling in love with you, I felt scared and vulnerable again like a child and the feeling scared me. I knew it was something so much deeper because I love you enough to change, I love you so much I don't want my demons to ever hurt you, ever. I'll be back! I can't stay away from you too long, I've got plans ;)
Be talking to you soon sweetie :) take care!
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Pile 2-
Hey my angel, how are you my love? It's been such a crazy journey, right? So many wild twists and turns, but we made it through! We're almost there now! I've been manifesting you for awhile, from far away, while you're with them. I pray and hope you're willing to accept me this time, because I'm ready and I really want all of you. All of your shadows. Everything. I really want to kiss you. I know I don't show it often, I'm not in the position to really show you right now anyways even if I wanted to, but I will be soon ;) I can't wait to spoil you rotten, pamper you and love you the way you should be loved, I can do it all, I'm very willing. I think we're soulmates, I can't ever imagine letting you go again, our future plays in my dreams like my little safe haven. 😇
Love you, angel!
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Pile 3-
Meeting you would have to be one of the best things that has ever happened to me, even if it's not our time :)
When I think of something perfect I think of you, you're what I want, you're what I crave but I just can't seem to open my eyes to look for you, baby I might be a fool sometimes, if I'm being honest I'm a mess a lot of the time and that's the problem, who wants to hear that, though, right? But it's the truth, that's why I keep attracting every one bad for me, isn't it? You deserve someone who's your knight in shining armor, someone who matches your energy perfectly and I'm not going to touch a single hair on your head until I feel like I'm worthy to. I'm working on matching my energy up there with yours, in so many aspects and different ways. There isn't anything you should ever worry about, darling. You're going to be my last puzzle piece 🧩💕.
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Warm Blood
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Gale / Astarion x F! Tav
(Warm Water part 3, can be read alone)
18+ miscommunication, misplaced anger, sex as a tool, yearning, confessed feelings, urgent sex, restraint, dom Gale, oral (f!), fingering (f!), masturbation (m!), marking, a little silliness
With a sanguine competitor now circling with the large druid, Gale can no longer put off his advances...
Masterlist, Prev Chapter
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She hissed gently as he readjusted his hold. He would have to find a new vein it seemed. Even with him closing her wounds, their nightly feeding sessions left her skin tender to touch.
Her generosity staggered him. His body feeling far better in these last few weeks than it had in centuries. Lithe and strong. The bone aching cold he had resigned himself to thawed by her warm blood, her molten body pressed against his when he fed. Her rich blood nourishing him to his core.
Though, their arrangement made him uncomfortable on a fundamental level. She not only didn't gain anything in this exchange, she actively lost something. It was too unbalanced, and he'd be a fool if he thought the other shoe wasn't poised to drop. She would want something in return eventually, and there was only one thing he could offer.
Taking slow mouthfuls, he wound his hands around her waist. Kneading the flesh languidly.
It had baffled him when she had politely turned him down at the tiefling party. She was so handsy and touch driven, he was sure seducing her would have been rather easy. Though, there was still time. As far as he could tell she wasn't tied to anyone yet, though there were several circling already.
He slid the movements of his mouth from purely practical to sensual. Kissing and suckling gently as he drank.
She hummed, stroking his hair through her fingers.
Finding that encouraging, he slid one hand around her hip. The other rising to her ribcage, heading north.
She froze then. "Astarion, what are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?" He purred, licking her wound closed with far more tongue than needed. Dragging a flat line up her neck. "Tasting you, darling."
"Why?" Her tone genuinely curious.
He scoffed, pulling back. "What do you mean why? You're beautiful."
"I am, but that doesn't answer my question."
Gods she was aggravating. Heat rose to his neck, her blood fueling the rush.
"Is it so unbelievable that I would want you? You must know your company is highly sought after." He tried for more compliments to loosen her up. But no dice.
"Huh, interesting." She narrowed her eyes slightly at him, lips pursing in thought. "So it's out of obligation."
He threw his hands up, eyes rising to the roof of his tent. His frustration breaking his mask.
"Of course it's out of obligation!"
Far too late, he realized what he said. Eyes lowering to hers slowly. Anxiety throttling his spine.
She only tilted her head at him slightly.
"It's okay. You don't have to, Astarion." She held her hand palm up. "Are you still hungry?"
He blinked at her. Anger flaring through him again. Though for what he couldn't pinpoint.
"So I just drink you dry every night, and you get nothing in return?" He retorted.
"How do you figure I get nothing out of this?" She asked in that aggravating curious tone, not matching his anger at all.
"Gods, don't give me that." His voice rose, standing and starting to pace. "That's not how the world works! There is give and take, and all I've done is take!"
She watched him continue to tirade quietly, appearing to just be listening. Somehow, that made him more heated.
Soon he slowed, his rant winding down. She watched patiently, open and waiting for him.
"Are you ready to hear what I think?" The question genuine and not rhetorical.
He huffed, breath still hard from his efforts.
"Fine. What?" He sniped, aware that he was being childish but too wound up to stop.
"I think you and I have a lot more in common than you realize, and I think I understand more than you give me credit for."
She paused, gathering her thoughts. "When all you get from people is pain, that's what you come to find in them. Even when it's not there. And when you don't get it, it's frightening. Yes?"
The air vanished from his lungs. Her eyebrows raised slightly, seeing that she had gotten through to him.
"In the Underdark, the only hand that reached for you was painful." She pulled up her sleeve, the tapestry of scars criss-crossing her dark skin revealed to him. "So that's what you naturally associate touch with. Anger. Fear of the flesh is survival."
She smoothed her fingers in a self soothing arc across the deep tissue. "You think I seek out touch because I'm naive, or even easy."
She looked up at him, those topaz eyes cutting straight through him. "But I know pain, Astarion. Intimately. I understand deeply why you have come to where you are, why you need to push others away. It's safe that way, yeah?"
He could only nod.
"You're right. It is safer." She conceded, smiling. Pulling her sleeve down. "Can't fault you for that. But I'm greedy, I want more than just safe. And touch is so much more than pain when you let it be."
His jaw clenched, biting back the lump that had risen in his throat. Wanting to retort, but finding no words that could validate him.
His hand shot forward, pulling her into him. Her soft lips sliding against his. Pulsing out his frustration into her plush mouth, needing so much more than he had taken.
She kissed him back tenderly, saying her piece. Not falling into his angry pit for a moment. Her soft touch in clear defiance to his inciting.
He pulled away, hearing footsteps approaching.
"Everything alright? I heard shouting." Gale lifted the flap of his tent. Making eye contact with her punctured throat with clear distaste.
"It's okay, thank you for checking." She responded warmly.
Astarion glared at him over her shoulder, the wizard giving him an equally leveling look.
"I think we could use some space, actually." She said impartially, turning to him. "Are you okay to stop for the night? I could give you a few bottles."
He sighed, rolling his eyes. "I think I can manage not withering away without this copious doting, darling."
She patted his arm, nodding. "I'll bring the bottles."
"Has anyone ever told you you're infuriating?"
She only smiled at him, turning to take Gale's upturned hand. Rising out of his tent. The flap falling closed on him alone again.
He flopped face down, groaning.
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After she quietly dropped off two bottles of blood at the entertance to the crimson tent, Gale took her small warm hand in his. Leading her to the view overlooking the edge of the city. They were so close, the precipice at their fingertips.
She sighed wistfully, pulling him to sit with her on the grass.
"Baldur's Gate." She mused dreamily. "I wonder if it's as awful as I've heard."
He barked out a laugh. "Oh, I'm sure it's just atrocious. We're sure to hate it."
She laughed too, then gave a little thoughtful wince. "Ooh, Halsin is definitely going to hate it."
He was sure the druid was a fine person, but given his leanings, Gale was less concerned.
"Well, he can always stay outside. Who knows how much room our new camp will have anyway..."
She rolled her eyes at him, knocking her knee against his.
He caught her knee in his hand before she could pull it back. Rubbing his thumb in slow circles.
She slid up flush to him easily, leaning her head into the curve his shoulder.
"How are you feeling?" She whispered, the backs of her knuckles gently knocking on his chest.
"Ah, that." He chuckled, slightly embarrassed at her concern. "Oh, you know. Heartache is nothing new to me."
She leaned her head back and sighed dramatically at his joke, the edge of a smile on her lips.
"Just awful. I'm never asking again." She shook her head in solemn jest.
"Oh, please do. The healing touch of your disdain is tantamount to mending my heart."
He paused then, nerves fraying. The smell of his lavender in her hair bolstering him in a soft smile.
"I have been meaning to speak to you. About matters of the heart."
She turned to him, topaz eyes bright in the moonlight. Thick spirals of dark hair cascading down her back. Gods, she was so beautiful it made him dizzy.
He turned his gaze to the ground, picking up a smooth stone and turning it over in his palm. Having something to touch always helped him think.
"I've come to fancy you. Quite a lot. Though this is not the proper way I would have preferred to court you. In the dirt and blood." He sighed, wishing things were different.
"You must know you're... you're very special to me. I hope I'm special to you too, but if I'm misguided just say the word and I'll back off."
The words tumbled out of him, a vexing blush rising to his cheeks. Feeling like a school boy confessing a crush.
Her body shifted, standing on knees. In one fluid motion she hooked her leg around and straddled his lap. Bringing his eyes to hers in a hand tenderly cupping his face.
His breath was entirely taken, dropping the stone he had been holding with a soft thunk.
"Took you long enough." She teased, her dimpled smile making his heart rush.
"I fancy you too, Gale. And I'd like to show you that, if you'll let me." She hushed, her body heat radiating into his torso.
He could only nod, all blood rushing away from unimportant higher functions. Hands gripping her wide hips in a groan, the sensation far better than he ever could have imagined.
Her hands wound into his hair, pushing a heady kiss into him with a little whimper.
His eyes rolled up into his lids, just the kiss sending him under. Hand rising to the small of her back. Her lips pulsing into his with slick need. Tongue dancing along the seam of his lips in question.
He opened happily, a hungry moan leaving him when their tongues twisted. Both hands palming her ass greedily. The ample globes of flesh kneading in his fingers, her smothered mewl sending impossibly more blood to his already straining cock.
All of her touch spun around him in a lustful haze, far too much and not nearly enough.
He pulled his shirt over his head in a whip, only leaving her lips for a single moment. Her hands finding his trousers, palming him over his sleep pants.
"Fuck," He hissed, it felt too good already. Precum pooling far too soon for his liking. His body touch starved and hungrier than it had any right to be. Trying to force the tunnel vision of promised release open again.
He pushed forward, twisting her down onto her back. His hands rising under her sleep shirt to caress the unbearably soft curve of her waist.
"By the Weave..." He muttered, her body far too intoxicating. Cock throbbing insistently.
He felt completely lost, head nothing but liquid desire. Leaning down to kiss sloppily along her waist. Pushing her shirt up to her clavicle.
She squirmed under him, breath fast pants. Pulling his hair back in a fist, watching him with lust blown eyes and kiss swollen lips.
Gods, how was he already close. He couldn't be this down bad, could he?
Oh who was he kidding, of course he was.
He pulled her bralette down, her breasts springing free. A growl vibrated in his chest at the sight, gripping the front of the band, pulling it down onto her ribs.
He pulled back to slip her leggings off of her, revealing her arching hips, hip bones sliding underneath. Thighs wide and plush, dipping into her hips. Her legs falling back open, the curve of her ass teasing under her. Slick pooling from her gleaming cunt.
"Oh, come on..." He huffed, just the sight stroking down his cock in a rush. "That's not fair."
"You're one to talk. Why do you look like that wizard?" She scoffed. "All those muscles, for what? Seducing poor quivering maidens in the grass..."
"Oh, we'll get to the quivering." He smiled dangerously, leaning down to lick a stripe up her hip bone.
She whined, arching her hips up more into his mouth. The heat coming off of her cunt soaking his clavicle.
Gods below and above spare him.
Trailing his mouth down, his cock twitched in anticipation. His practiced mouth about to be seated where it longed to be. Where it belonged.
He breathed in a deep pull of her, nose nuzzling into her curls. Gods, she was divine. Her sweet musk making his mouth salivate. Truly he had been deprived before this moment.
Her hips starting rolling impatiently, and he pushed a forceful hand flat to her lower belly in response. No, he was going to savor this.
She moaned under his hold, bringing a smile to his lips. So she liked it like that...
He breathed a warm wave of air on her cunt, watching it twitch in what he knew was a clench in a devious smile.
"You bastard..." She groaned, the need apparent in her voice sending a shiver down his back.
"Language..." He chuckled. The lack of touch making her writhe deliciously under his hold.
"I'll show you language." She scoffed.
Grabbing both sides of his face she pulled his eyes up to hers.
"Bite me, choke me. Hold me down and spit in my mouth. Tongue fuck me like a whore, wizard."
His pelvis clenched, eyes rolling up into the back of his head. Hand clawing into her thigh.
"Oh Gods." He groaned, finally diving on her cunt.
He lapped his tongue in undulating waves, slurping her clit into his lips.
"Fuck!" She cried out, gripping his hair hard in her fist.
He suckled down hard, suctioning his lips around the bundle. Tongue pulsing wet curved pulls. Hands keeping her thighs forced open as they tried to clamp shut around his head.
Her high keening whines melded beautifully with the slurping sounds of his hungry mouth.
Her hips bucked helplessly against his hands, ribs arching up. Only the underside of her jaw visible above him.
He smiled into her cunt, releasing one thigh and pushing his forearm into the apex of her thighs. A bar holding her open still, his two fingers sliding slowly into her. Humming into her clit in pleasure, fingers spreading eagerly into the velvet slick pouring up into his palm.
Her head shot up, staring down at him almost in disbelief. Hand bracing her at her side.
When he began strong and slow thrusts of his fingers, her head fell back sharply. Voice only mewling calls. Thoroughly tamed, warm and pliant under his devotion.
He knew this was as close to the heavens as he had ever gotten. Harnessing all of his senses to bottle this into his everlasting memory. Though he imagined it would be very hard to forget.
He curved his fingers up, stroking that ridged bump in hard thrusts. Clamping down on her clit again, lapping his tongue in hollow pulls, like slurping soup.
"Oh Gods," She whined.
He groaned hot into her, chasing her hips up as they tried to squirm away. Free hand grabbing her waist and pulling her back down hard. He was not even close to done.
Fingers arcing into her in vicious thrusts, unrestrained. He wrenched his head quickly side to side, sucking down in popping wet pulses of his lips.
She cried out, her pelvis tremoring hard. Unable to hold her thighs open anymore as they arched up and clenched down around his head. Muffling around his ears. Cunt clenching in hard flutters around his fingers. He looked up, drinking in her arching ribcage and scrambling hands. A strike of fluid striking his jaw. Sending his eyes up into his skull.
His hips fucked into the ground, unable to still them any longer. Removing his fingers to slurp her cum into his mouth uninhibited. Pushing out of her in creamy pulses. Greedily lapping all he could catch, rubbing into her clit to encourage more.
She let out indignant pleading whines, but he wasn't done yet. His cunt slicked fingers gripping around his cock. Drinking her cum as he fucked into his fist.
Only two or three thrusts and he was gone, wrenching ropes up his belly. Pelvis clenching in vicious pulses, shooting pleasure through his body in teeth gritting waves. The endless ache behind his navel firing out in tortuous strikes. Hand bracing next to her hip in the dirt desperately.
His mouth slowed then stopped, panting hard into her thigh. Resting his head into the seam of her hip, thoroughly spent.
"That good huh?" She teased, her own breath telling of equal pleasure.
Head still down, he held his finger up in a signal to give him a minute.
She giggled, thoroughly pleased. "My, my, Gale at a loss for words. Wait until camp hears about this..."
He looked up, glaring at her in jest. "Don't you dare."
She smiled wide. "Hmm, I dont know... It's a pretty monumental thing to go unnoted. It would be a shame to keep to myself."
He trailed up her body, balancing on elbows above her. She gave him a pout, eyes wide in mock pleading.
"How else is everyone suppose to know I'm yours?"
His cock stirred again, huffing out a groan.
"Tav, you're killing me." He admonished. She only bit her lip in a smile at him.
"Well, if you don't want me telling everyone, you better leave your mark on me." She purred, turning her chin up. Eyes sparkling mischievously.
"Oh, that I can do." He smiled, angling his head down to her neck. Pulling the soft flesh between his teeth.
She laughed then moaned, that little whimper he was already addicted to in her throat again.
Oh, it was hopeless. They were going to be here all night.
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vivian-pascal · 17 hours
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I Don't Love You Anymore
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joel x f!reader
summary: Joel had been with you for a while, you both had a nice house in New York City, he'd seen the way you'd look at him and he just knew that if he stayed for too long, you'd never find your true love. He knows he's way too old for you and you need a younger man, much younger. So he does something that will tear both you and him apart. Forever.
warnings: angst, crying, pushing and shoving, mention of what reader wears, reader slams her fists and they bleed.
authors note: i've been feeling really down in the dumps lately. I just feel like my life is slowly spiraling downhill. so I thought i'd write some lovely angst to pour my heart and soul out too!
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Joel parks his truck on the driveway. Staying inside the car, thinking. Closing his eyes and breathing in deeply. He doesn't want to do this, god, he never ever thought he'd have to do this. Especially with you.
When you both met, you were in the airport and he had just gotten off his flight from Texas. He was heading to New York for a vacation. To get away from the suburbs and get into some classy skyscrapers.
You were walking with your phone in your hand and your headphones in. You didn't bother to look up and the next thing you know, you run into a person. Taking your headphones off, you look up to see a man.
He has salt and peppered hair, small gruff forming on his chin. You run your eyes down his entire body and instantly fall in love.
When he first saw you, he fell hard. Your small little body and the way you looked at him the day you met. He just couldn't stay away from you. He wanted to be with you every second, every hour, every day. He loved you with all his heart. You meant everything to him.
He reminisces on the days you two cuddled in bed together, laughing at each other's jokes. He chuckles to himself as he remembers you with whipped cream all over your face because he had dumped your head in cake since it was your birthday.
He turns the key in the ignition and opens the car door. Closing it, he rests his head on the window and breathes in one more time. He stands up and begins to walk to your door. He lifts his hand up and rests it on the door.
He knocks once. Patiently waiting for your sweet smile and that soft smell of your perfume. He sees the door open and there you are. His lovely girl. Standing there in a gorgeous flower dress, your hair is in a braid with little bows in the back. You smile up at him and he breathes in the smell of you for the last time.
He smiles shyly and you welcome him into your home. "Hey baby, what ya here for?" You twirl towards him and grab his hands. He pulls one back and rubs the back of his neck.
"Uh darlin', we need to talk." His face instantly twists as the small hint of fear crosses your face. "Oh." You gulp deeply as you let go of his hand. "Okay."
He walks into the living room and sits down on the lounge chair as you sit across from him on the couch. You look down at the floor and play with your hands. Waiting for him to say something.
He clears his throat and begins to speak. "I'm leaving. Tonight." Your face shoots up as your eyes instantly water. "What? When? What time? Why didn't you tell me earlier Joel? Where are you going?" His eyes become teary as he sees your panicked state. He never wanted to do this. Why is he doing this?
He closes his eyes and tries to blink away the tears. "I'm uh, heading back to Texas." You stand up and your eyes go back and forth between his face. "Joel what!? Why? I-I thought you liked it here. We have a house and-" He shushes you as he stands up and grabs your hands.
He stares down at your blood shot eyes looking into his. You look up at him mouth agape. "Are you breaking up with me?" It physically hurts him to hear the words. He closes his eyes and looks down. You remove your hands from his and look at him angrily.
"Is this what this is Joel? Your plan on breaking up with me!" He opens his eyes and sees your angry, teary, messy face. Your mascara running down your face and smudging the collar of your dress.
"Now, darlin', I-" "Don't you fucking call me that Joel." You scream at him and his face goes pale. He's never heard you yell like that before. It's like a dagger piercing through his heart over and over again.
You walk up to him and point your finger at his chest. "So all those memories we made meant nothing to you? Am I nothing to you Joel." He shakes his head and tries to back away. "No, you mean everythin to me. I don't know what I'd do if I never met you." You stand up straight and begin to chuckle.
"So if you loved me that much than why the fuck are you leaving me!" You push him and he hits the wall. Hard. Tears start falling from his eyes as he sees his girl a mess. You both just look at each other as you both cry.
He removes himself from the wall and slowly starts to walk towards you. "Don't you dare take another fucking move Joel. I swear to god." He stops in his tracks and stands a few feet away. "You don't deserve me. M'too old f'ya and I can barely do nothin'. M'not as excitin as I used to be when I was younger. You deserve someone who can take care of ya and be there f'ya when you get older." His southern drawl coming out stronger than ever as he cries.
You stare at him in distraught as he rubs his stray tears away. "Don't deserve you? Joel we've been together for two fucking years. If I didn't 'deserve' you, I would've left already." You walk towards him and grab his hands. You looks you in the eyes and shakes his head. He removes his hands and begins to walk to the door.
"Joel, where are you going? You can't just leave!" You run after him and grab onto his shirt. More tears fall from his face as he sees your tiny body trying to get him back. He opens the door and stops to look at you. "I'm sorry." He shuts the door but you immediately open it.
"Joel come back!" You run in the rain. Following him to his truck as he gets in it. You bang on the window as he backs off the driveway and leaves. You fall to your knees and scream and cry until your heart can't take it anymore. Soaking in the blankness of which was once full. You slam your fists onto the pavement of the driveway.
You pick them up to see that they're bleeding but you don't care. Nothing in your mind is making sense. 'Why'd he leave?.' 'Did he even love me?' 'Was this all a lie?'
You scream into the air and cry out. As Joel leaves, he can hear your horrid cries and bangs his hand on the window. Tears fall from his face as he sees your small body becoming a tiny speck. Nothing seems to matter anymore for him, or for you, because it seems as tho he never loved you.
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tags!
@morallyinept @mermaidgirl30 @rav3n-pascal22 @mountainsandmayhem @amyispxnk @pinkcrystal44 @guelyury @iamsherloocked @itsokbbygrl @heartpascalispunk @littlevenicebitch69 @brittmb115 @kotourasan123 @simplewanderer @tupelomiss @heartramen @sinful-mind-joyful-thoughts @yorksgirl
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reidfucker · 2 days
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mitski songs that make me think of reid + a specific lyric
spencer reid is very mitski. but these were the first to come to mind. i do not take criticism.
- working for the knife
honestly, the entire song reminds me of reid, but this in particular:
I always thought the choice was mine
And I was right, but I just chose wrong
I start the day lying and end with the truth
That I'm dying for the knife
- liquid smooth
I'm liquid smooth, come touch me, too
I'm at my highest peak, I'm ripe
About to fall
How I feel this river rushing through my veins
With nowhere else to go, it circles 'round
- class of 2013
Mom, would you wash my back?
This once, and then we can forget
And I'll leave what I'm chasing
For the other girls to pursue
Mom, am I still young?
Can I dream for a few months more?
- i don't smoke
Just don't leave me alone
Wondering where you are
I am stronger than you give me
Credit for
If your hands need to break
More than trinkets in your room
You can lean on my arm
As you break my heart
- abbey
again, the entire song is very reid, but:
I am something
I have been something
I was born something
What could I be?
There is a light that I can see
But only, it seems, when there's darkness in me
There is a dream that I sometimes see
That only appears in the dark of sleep
- i bet on losing dogs
Will you let me, baby, lose
On losing dogs
I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place
By the ring
Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down
I wanna feel it
I bet on losing dogs
I always want you when I'm finally fine
- the deal
Then of course, nothing replied, nothing speaks to you in the night
And I walked my way home, there was no one in sight
Save a bird perched upon a streetlight, watchin' me
So, I stopped and let it watch 'til I found that it said
"Now I'm taken, the night has me
You won't hear me singin'
You're a cage without me
Your pain is eased, but you'll never be free for
Now I'm taken, the night has me"
- fireworks
this is perhaps one of the reid-est. here's the particular lyric:
One morning this sadness will fossilize
And I will forget how to cry
I'll keep going to work and you won't see a change
Save perhaps a slight gray in my eye
I will go jogging routinely
Calmly and rhythmically run
And when I find that a knife's sticking out of my side
I'll pull it out without questioning why
- i don't like my mind
again, the entire song is reid, but this is my pick:
I don't like my mind, I don't like being left alone in a room
With all its opinions about the things that I've done
So, yeah, I blast music loud, and I work myself to the bone
And on an inconvenient Christmas, I eat a cake
- first love / late spring
very cliché, but i HAD to include it! here:
And I was so young when I behaved 25
Yet now, I find I've grown into a tall child
And I don't wanna go home
Let me walk to the top of the big night sky
- there's nothing left for you
You could touch fire
You could fly
It was your right
It was your life
And then it passed
To someone new
It'll keep passin' on
Long after you
- nobody
And I don't want your pity
I just want somebody near me
Guess I'm a coward
I just want to feel alright
- because dreaming costs money, my dear
I once lived in the sea
Bring me to your ear, you can hear
The tide where I used to be
Though now I'm but a shell
- a pearl
Sorry, I don't want your touch
It's not that I don't want you
Sorry, I can't take your touch
It's just that I fell in love with a war
Nobody told me it ended
And it left a pearl in my head
And I roll it around every night
Just to watch it glow
Every night, baby, that's where I go
- real men
Real men keep cool in the face of a fire
Go down with the ship
And real men don't eat
'Cause they're above that, damn it
Oh, I'm gonna be a real man
- crack baby
It's been a long, hard 20 year summer vacation
Both these 20 years tryna fill the void
Crack baby, you don't know what you want
But you know that you had it once
And you know that you want it back
Crack baby, you don't know what you want
But you know that you're needing it
And you know that you need it bad
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aurorangen · 3 hours
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OC Deep Dive Questionnaire Tag
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Thank you for tagging me @matchalovertrait @mdshh @duusheen (and anyone else I might have missed, I'm so late to answer!) I'm doing it for Vincent, he's just interesting to talk about! It's a long one:
What uncommon/common fear do they have? Vincent has a fear of crowded places, how people could be watching or spying on him. What do they want? Why are they doing this? Who is behind it? Anyone could be doing it, but he knows it's from his past (unless something new has developed). Remember he has been spied on before, by someone from Strangerville. Now he doesn't know and we don't know if his Dad's disappearance and Strangerville are all linked, but you can probably guess. Also a fear of going into the operating room and surgery.
Do they have any pet peeves? When people are late. He hates it.
What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? His briefcase, his favourite cologne, iPad
What do they notice first in a person? Facial expressions, eye contact and body language: how they compose themselves.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance? He has high pain tolerance physically/emotionally so 8.
Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? In the past, it would be flight. But now that he is older it's always fight. In court, he can be under a lot of pressure, but he is always prepared to fight and win!
Do they come from a big family/are they a family person? From his mum's side, he has a big extended family, from Evergreen Harbour and Henford on Bagley! Growing up he has always wanted siblings. He loves having Isaac as a brother and they spend so much time together now! But his childhood was so lonely at home, while his mum was working and his dad always MIA before his disappearance. Vincent always went over to Billy's house to hang out with Charlie! Billy and Josh have always been his father figures, unlike his own. Now with kids, he'll do the best he can to provide a childhood full of love!
What animal represents them best? Vincent is obviously a lion and Isaac is an eagle. You know in an ecosystem there are food chains where predators catch prey. Well, they are Kingsleys, so they're the top of the "hierarchy". Think of it like they're going into enemy territory (investigating their dad or other cases) and they are bringing them down. But their dad is also a Kingsley...
What is a smell that they dislike? Any sort of science experiment chemical idk...I'm not saying anymore
Have they broken any bones? Nope
How would a stranger likely describe them? Secretive first. But that goes away to easy-going, amicable, reliable
Are they a night owl or a morning bird? Both actually
What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love? Hmm Vincent is a bit of a foodie and appreciates good food, he likes a lot of stuff really. Something he hates? Mint ice cream lol
Do they have any hobbies? Cooking (I've not explored it though)
Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises? He's all good with surprise birthday parties! Vincent would be full of gratitude to the people who took the time and effort to arrange it. He'll make sure everyone enjoys their time and divert himself from being the centre of attention haha
Do they like to wear jewelry? Ooh he likes fancy watches
Do they have neat or messy handwriting? Surprisingly quite messy. He likes typing stuff lmao
What are two emotions they feel the most? Pride, determination
Do they have a favorite fabric? As long as it's comfortable
What kind of accent do they have? British accent duh
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georgeclarkesgf · 15 hours
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forgetful | george clarke
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the minute george stepped into the flat, he knew something was off.
"y/n? you here?" walking further into the flat, he found y/n in the kitchen making herself a cup of tea, "hey, sorry i'm back so late. we missed t-"
"don't. i can't believe you. all i asked was that you not plan to film today and i wake up to a message telling me you've gone to film a video for arthur. do you even know why i asked you to stay home today?"
he was trying to remember, really he was. but his mind was blank and the guilt began to seep in, only just noticing the tears that left stains on her cheeks.
"no. of course you don't. my parents are in town george. i planned a nice lunch, maybe go on a walk, come back to the flat for a few drinks, but all that went to shit because you left to film a stupid video and then ignored my messages all day. you know how important it is to me that you get along with my parents so having to cancel on them last minute because you weren't even here was not something i wanted to have to do." the tears in her eyes were threatening to fall again, hating how needy and pathetic she sounded.
"we can sti-" george tried, again quickly being shut down.
"no george, i'm mad at you. you don't get to say it'll be alright and that we can still do something. we're not playing happy families. you've hurt me. when we sort this out, then we organise something else."
now the guilt was in full swing and he immediately started to think of ways he could make it up to her, knowing it would take a lot of grovelling to get back onto her good side.
"i'm going to bed, i love you." a soft kiss being placed on his lips.
"i love you too." slight relief evident on his face, knowing she'll never not say 'i love you', even during an argument.
she rounded the kitchen island, starting to make her way to his room and get ready for bed. george watched as she closed the door, still stood in the kitchen, contemplating whether to follow her or give her some space.
he decided on the latter.
--------
it was nearing midnight when george decided he needed some sleep, and the dip in the bed as he got comfortable was enough to wake y/n, a groan leaving her lips.
"sorry. i didn't mean to wake you," she let out an agitated hum of acknowledgement and rolled over, curling into george's side, unable to resist the heat his body always provided, "still mad at me?"
"yep." she responded, accentuating the 'p'.
"okay. can we talk about it?"
"i've said my peace. you go."
"i really am sorry sweetheart, i feel awful," her nails were running along the lines and dips of his stomach, a habit he'd grown accustomed to over the several months they'd been together, "the video was planned ages ago and i didn't even realise the dates clashed. when you reminded me of 'that thing' that was happening today i thought you meant filming. i promise to make it up to you. and your parents. please say they don't hate me."
george hoped it was enough, not that he wouldn't do anything she asked to get her to forgive him, but he couldn't stand the thought of her staying mad at him.
in y/n's head, he was forgiven. during her time alone, she realised she didn't even give him a chance to explain before locking herself in his room for the rest of the night.
"i'm sorry too," george was slightly taken aback by this, unsure what she was apologising for, "i shouldn't have stormed off like that. not even letting you speak before i disappeared all night. and my parents don't hate you. we can do dinner tomorrow if that's okay with you?"
"that's more than okay. i have my whole day free to spend with you and them. we can do whatever you guys want. i love you."
"i love you. so much. even if you are forgetful."
and george stuck to his promise. safe to say y/n's parents like george more than her.
a/n have this as an 'i'm sorry i haven't posted in a while present' <3
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themisterhip · 10 months
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The sillys 🧛😝✨
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a-s-levynn · 5 months
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"Even if the sky cracks in mourning / And the heavens just won't open up for me" A Series of Small Offerings - II/12 - day20
#a series of small offerings#sleep token fanart#elaboration on this piece further down in the tags because this one may confuse people i think#(also please note that i firmly believe that the from the room below version of this song is the superior one)#(so the art was made with that version in mind because that is the version that lives rent free in my brain for reasons)#i've been thinking so much how to approach this one.. i knew pretty much since i've made the challenge that i will go with this line#specifically because i refuse to hear it as the lyrics sites and spotify tells me to hear it (as it appears in the post) but instead#i don't hear the 'the' in any version of the song i'm sorry that is just not there#so i'm convinced it is 'as the sky cracks in mourning'#(sky cracking-lightning;sky mourning-rain)#which is also exactly how the song feels to me#being a sad wet cat of a person standing bare feet in a strom and just crying 'why i was i so blind to my own hubris'#specifically in relation of finally (and far too late) understanding you fucked up a relationship so bad it still hurts years after#if you've ever felt anything remotely similar you know what i'm talking about#and you get why i refuse it being 'in the morning' instead of 'in mourning'#vessel i#vessel#vessel sleep token#vessel fanart#sleep token band#sleeptoken#levynn tries to draw#sleep token#edit: i don't mean to offend those who stand behind the line being 'in the morning' btw i just don't hear it#and i don't think i'm correct. i'm correct for me. not in your stead. half the lyrics can be heard at least two ways#edit2: appearently i'm actually right about something for a change.. a truly unusual turn of events#see comments for referrence pls#also edited this post to the correct lyrics#but leaving the tags for context 'cause thw original version of the post has been rb-d before editing i think
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zackmartin · 10 days
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Z THE CONCEPT OF YOU REBOOTING VALIANT KNIGHT LITERALLY HAS ME FROTHING AT THE MOUTH. it literally never left my head i am always thinking about it at least a little bit. literally recently i came up with a concept for how some of my original characters for my spinoff would fit into valiant knight fnsnskdj and so i technically have like a rewrite/sequel concept that includes zenry and jasper/[redacted] fnsmdnkxnsn which included me rereading the chapters i beta'd for you to remember some details and i was like UGH THIS WAS SO GOOD I MISS IT
LASKDJOSKJVMODKMVLDSKJFSOKJFSLDKFJ HELLO?????????? ARE YOU AWARE THAT I'D LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU???? CAUSE I SERIOUSLY WOULD LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU!!!!! BUT AHHHHHHHHHHH
SERIOUSLY THOUGH, THIS IS ONE OF THE HIGHEST COMPLIMENTS I'VE EVER RECEIVED, I'M LEGIT GONNA CRY (affectionate), I'VE BEEN STARING AT THIS ASK FOR LIKE SIX HOURS, LIKE THERE AREN'T ENOUGH WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO ARTICULATE HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME
but seriously, like I'm not trying to rag on my writing or anything, but I also know like. I'm not writing anything that's gonna be winning awards anytime soon or anything ground-breaking or anything, but that's never been my goal; and I just say all of that to say that the fact that you're still thinking about something of mine years later and it stuck with you so much that you want to put your own characters into it??????? That's literally so wild to me in the best way, I can't get over it. I'm so serious when I say again that this legit one of the best compliments I've ever received. (Also, if you're willing, I'd very much like to hear about this rewrite/sequel of sorts)
You have me legit thinking about it now. Like I told Pearl in the replies, I feel like my writing is leagues better (i reread stuff from that time period and just cringe now; but to be fair to my past self, she was a novice who was coming back to writing after a 10+ year break so it stands to reason) so I feel like I could do a lot more with it. There's soooo much of that world I want to flesh out that I wasn't skilled enough to do when I first started it. lsakdjf idk man, I might actually do it
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zemnarihah · 1 month
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my best friend has been very distant w me lately and i asked today if she wanted to hang out and she said she probably couldn't bc it's her brothers birthday but she would let me know if she could and i have her location and i just looked and she's at her boyfriends house rn....
#we have it bc we're roomates so we started sharing locations when we first moved in like in case someone doesn't come home at night or smth#she recently told me that she wants to move out bc she has always wanted to live alone and she can finally afford it. and i asked her#directly like is there an issue because she is so non confrontational so she has never ever mentioned me doing anything that bothers her#and i said please tell me if there's something wrong because it would really suck if there was and i never got a chance to fix it because#you never told me. and she said no it has nothing to do with that i really just feel like it's time for me to live on my own. and a couple#days ago she was like okay i'm next in line for my apartment i'll probably move out in april. and i try to get her to hang out still and#she always has something else going on and i swear every night this week she's been at her boyfriends.#and if i see her around our apartment and try to make conversation at all she's so like short about it and barely responds like will only#give one word answers. i feel like it kind of started when i started dating e but i realized that i was spending less time with her and i#didn't want to be the girl that loses all my friends bc of a boyfriend so i started specifically reaching out to hang out with her and she#says no most of the time and never asks me. like i don't know what else i can do.#i'm like maybe it's bc of her boyfriend? bc they've been on again off again for a long time and previously when they were together it was#really distant with her like i barely saw her EVER. and they were mostly broken up for the past couple years and have been together i think#for a while again... but she knows i don't approve of that relationship and so she would like not say when they were talking again. so maybe#since lately they've been hanging out or dating or WHATEVER she doesn't fucking tell me what's going on with him. maybe that's why.#i literally like try to think of ways it could be my fault and maybe i'm being crazy but i cannot even think to blame myself for more than a#fleeting second bc i'm like. i have ASKED HER directly if there is an issue or something i do that bothers her and she says no. so even if#i'm somehow pissing her off would i ever know to change anything?? i just feel so frustrated bc it's like she's an entirely different person#to me. like this is not the person i know. and i don't know what else i could possibly do like i feel like we need to sit down and have a#conversation about it but what good does that do if she just acts like nothing is wrong. but i don't want to lose my friend i have such a#hard time making friends. i've known her since i was 14 like i can't imagine my life without her. we were the only two in our whole friend#group in high school to get out of the church i still love those other girls but we have so little in common now.
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katranga · 6 months
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idk how to tell this guy at work to stop talking ab his diet and "goal weight". like i simply Will Not engage in that kind of conversation and idk how to be any more polite ab stopping it than literally saying that the weight you are is not a personal failing
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j-ellyfish · 11 months
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You are the QUEEN of Spaus 💜
Waaahhhh thank you!! Q///w///Q
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#ask#I'm blushing and smiling like an idiot right now you have no idea how happy this makes me feel#I've been liking Spaus for SO long but back then I felt very insecure about my art and stuff and I didn't even have anyone to talk about#it with ... And so I drew them kind of rarely because I was so scared of not giving them justice and the lack of content also made me feel#down ... I know I shouldn't have thought that way and I'm SO HAPPY I got out of that mentality but#back then I felt like 'why should I bother my art sucks and no one cares about this ship anyway so I'll just keep it for myself in my mind'#but little by little I got out of that mentality#felt a bit less insecure about myself as an artist and had more experiences all around#and so when I came back and got into Hetalia again in late 2019-early 2020#I felt very compelled to make up for it#I came back thinking 'I don't care if people ship it or not I HAVE to give it my love and let it known because it makes me feel good'#and so I started by translating the first part of what would become 'Einmal Noch' which I had started writing many years ago#originally in Italian ... Then I FINALLY finished writing it and it made me feel so accomplished because that story wouldn't leave my mind#and it stayed with me in the back of my mind even during the years I spent away from Hetalia#and then I took the courage to start drawing Austria again even if back then I was never fully satisfied with it#and little by little I think I got happier with myself through it and wanted so badly to do things the way I wanted no matter what#and I started sharing about SpAus and stuff and it makes me SO happy that there are other people who like it too T___T ♥#sorry I'm getting a bit emotional haha 'xD
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faust1926 · 2 years
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:/
#negative and venting in these tags#+ I'm not at ALL grounded rn so like. u know#I don't have the proper words rn. but I'm just hoping very much today is just an off-day like most sundays have been lately.#and maybe I can be somewhat functional again tomorrow#I wish I had more positive things to talk about maybe tomorrow will be better and I'll have more positive things then#I'm just so tired and keep not being able to think well. and I just spent like 3 hours just laying down#like resting but not sleeping and I really wish I were at least more ok with being like this#cause I'm not. but I'm too tired to do anything about it when like -_- I've got spirits putting thoughts in my head#and like touching me and telling me things and I couldn't get them to go away even if I wanted to cause I'm just too tired#and their presence is so. heavy on me like their energy or whatever just Weighs u down when too many of them get close#so I can't move I just have to lay there and listen to them and it's so. horrifying#but at the same time it's like!!! the best feeling in the world it's literally better than anything. and I wish it weren't#I wish real physical things felt good to be around too :-(#I wish I could be grounded and functional and awake like normal humans seem to be even in situations like mine#one of the spirits is still touching me now. like. on my ribbcage and I don't know why but it feels . impossible to describe#or to compare to something else lol#I don't know why. they're doing that I don't know what they're trying to do with me exactly.#it's like electricity but softer maybe. not sharp. dull warm radiating pulsating pressure very alive. I can feel them like under my skin#ok it's getting late. I'm running out of what energy I have left I need to go to bed#and in the morning I'll have breakfast and take my vitamins and maybe I'll be a little better and more awake#and I'll get bloodwork or something done soon and I'll see a new therapist and maybe we can do something and my brain won't be so fuzzy#they told me to trust them tonight also. they said I'm not in any real danger and I need to just let myself rest when I need to#<- one of the angels said that I mean#even if that's more often than most people I need to like. just lay down and rest more and trust them to take care of everything & Im safe#so ok
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prince-of-calydon · 2 years
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wolfiesmoon · 4 months
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When you wear their clothes
genshin men x gn!reader
characters featured: xiao, neuvillette, wriothesley, zhongli and itto
i've been dreaming about genshin a lot lately idk this game has possesed me or smth so i feel like i'm required to write this? Also DAMN im rusty with genshin characters so i apologise profusely for any ooc-ness
(also wrio's is kinda suggestive!!)
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XIAO is confused. Why on earth are you wearing his clothes? He isn't opposed to it specifically, but doesn't understand the appeal or the reason why you do it. "My clothes don't fit you properly. What's the point?" he asks, completely straight faced. You smile. "It reminds me of you when you're not with me!" He just scoffs and says he doesn't get your strange habits before moving on with his day. Somehow though, the image of you in his clothes won't leave his mind for the rest of the day. "Dammit..." he mumbles under his breath, barely audible when nobody's around. Don't bring up his pink cheeks in the evening when he comes back to see you, he will not elaborate.
Similarly, NEUVILLETTE is also confused. This must be another human thing that he isn't familiar with. What does wearing their lover's clothes mean to humans? "Oh, I just missed you... your clothes remind me of you, you know?" You explained when he questioned you on the matter. "Oh, I suppose that makes sense. Do you want more items related to myself for when I am absent?" He asks. While you do want to know what items he would bring you, you turn him down. "I like your shirts the most, because they smell like you and feel like your hugs." He doesn't know why exactly, but he has the urge to kiss you all of a sudden.
WRIOTHESLEY feels distracted when he sees you in his clothes from time to time. He gets busy a lot, so the moments he gets to spend with you feel extra special. But, what is he to do when you look so positively yummy in his shirt? "Hey, mind taking my shirt off? It's... sort of distracting." he admits, taking a sip of his tea. "But, wouldn't it be even more distracting if I took it off now?" you asked, feigning an innocent look. He almost spit out his tea. "I did not mean it like that...! Surely you're just teasing me." You just smiled mischeviously in response, taking a sip out of your own cup. "That's what I thought. I know that look."
ZHONGLI thinks you look odd in his clothes. Odd, but not bad by any means. You actually look quite endearing. "I'll make sure to commit this to memory." he says calmly, sitting down next to you on the bed. "You say that every time you're with me." you poke his shoulder gently, smiling up at him. "That's because everything about you is worth remembering, I suppose." Still, he thinks this specific memory is one he will treasure for a long, long time. "Oh my..." you felt heat rushing to your cheeks at his words, hugging his arm. Actually, he changed his mind, you're positively adorable in his clothes.
You're basically asking to get attacked with a flurry of kisses if you wear ITTO'S clothes in front of him. That's like, a show of affection! That you're totally his and no one else's! And that also means it's a cause for celebration! "Agh, Itto- Stop!" you try and fail to push his face away. "Hehehe..." he gives you a bright smile and places a big ol' kiss on your lips. "You should wear my clothes more often!!!" he felt proud of himself, puffing out his chest. "Ummm, whatever you say..." you're kind of worried that if you do that, your face will never escape his lips.
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thebibliosphere · 5 months
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There are a lot of things I'm sad about in my life. You don't get to go through the kind of medical trauma I've been through and come out unscathed on the other side.
But one thing I'm really bitter about is that I can't remember my wedding anymore. The pernicious anemia took it from me and wiped my brain clean. Except it's not clean, not really. I remember it in patches. Like red wine stains on a white rug that have never quite lifted out no matter how hard you try.
I look at the pictures on my bookcase, and they feel like remembering a story someone else has told me. There's a young woman in a white dress wearing my face, and she looks happy. I'm happy for her. But you can see the strain around her eyes, too. The pain she's hiding because no one with authority believes her when she says her body doesn't feel right. That something is Wrong.
They won't believe her for another decade. They won't believe her until it's almost too late, and it's that lateness that will rob her of her memories and turn them into a wavering rainbow suspended in the fine haze of watery sunlight that occasionally surfaces through the blanks.
There's one memory that's real, though. Solid. It's not my vows. It's not my father walking me down the aisle. (Though those are there, just hazy and dream-like). It's our first dance.
It's the lights dimming around the room as the staff cleared the floor, causing the fishbowls full of white roses and LED lights on the tables to wobble like pools of moonlight against dark paneled walls.
It's the band inviting us out onto the floor and us giggling because we know what's coming next, and no one else does. It's the twang of a banjo reverberating around the room through the speakers, followed by the dulcet tones of Kermit the Frog wondering why there are so many songs about rainbows.
It's us waltzing around the enclosed circle of light, singing to each other out of tune and grinning like idiots as everyone around us starts to laugh.
It's everyone joining in on the song because it's the Muppets, and everyone knows the words. It's 100+ people singing the Rainbow Connection, some laughing, some a bit tearful, because it's bringing back memories. Because it's making a new one.
It's looking up at my new husband through the brain fog and all the pain in my body and thinking, "I want to remember this moment forever."
I don't know what entity was out there listening to me at that moment and chose to grant that wish. I don't know why this is the one memory that stuck while everything else in my brain got decimated into scattered, fragmented snapshots. But I'm so, so thankful it is.
Though, I could have done without it randomly coming on my YouTube music out of nowhere to hit me in the emotions like a brick to the back of the head. Jesus Christ.
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