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#i dont know EVERYTHING ok so if i got smth wrong  or worded smth wrong
tomwambsganshater · 8 months
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ok actually mai zenin post sorry this is not structured in any way im just rotating her in my mind. also i moved yesterday n im very tired so it doesnt help
the thing abt mai is she's addicted to pain and failure and was fated to never escape from the beginning. shes the bug in the system, the unneeded one who prevented maki from reaching her full potential and escaping. she's always known it'd end with her death, that any meaningful change had to involve her death, that every minute she lived was selfish and stolen from her sister bc in truth she shouldnt have been born. but well she's weak, only ever strong enough to realize just how weak she is, blessed with yorozu's incredibly strong CT but with so little cursed energy she can at best conjure one ridiculous bullet a day, as opposed to maki who was always strong enough to either break down or ignore any obstacle, who wasn't terrified of every cursed spirit they saw. and she doesn't want to confront her selfishness bc while maki wants a better life, dignity, freedom, respect etc all mai wants is to be with her. bc well when you're raised in the horror house with your cousin who constantly talks abt making you his wife and everyone who acts like your purpose in life is to marry someone in the clan to further the bloodline and sometimes your father looks at you like he wants you dead and you feel like he could do it on a bad day you're gonna look at your sister who's joining the men's trainings and organizations and is the only person who treats you decently and protects you and think well if there's someone I have to marry in this hellhole I want it to be her. and you grow up and you realize it's unrealistic and fucked up and that even the whole clan marriage thing is fucked up from the outside but your feelings don't change bc no matter how much you hate it you're a zenin and this house's print on you is indelible. and eventually your sister leaves you and it feels like a giant betrayal, that you weren't enough for her to be happy when she was enough for you. and you get out too and you make normal friends but you're still a zenin and it feels wrong to live without that constant weight on your back and you don't really know if you hate your sister or love her anymore and it's probably both. and then sister school event and there's nobara saying your upbringing doesn't matter, you're a bad person and a bitch and maki had the same childhood and yet turned out fine so its your fault youre that way. and you hate her and how close she seems to be to maki bc yet another way you're left behind and replaced for smth better, healthier, normal. and it's good for her but you're incapable of moving on or being any of these things. and it's like well is she right is it your fault? is it your fault that you're too weak and can't overcome the zenin? That you dont try to fight them? Is it your fault that you're not maki, that you're inferior to her in every way? Where does personal responsibility end and where does social conditioning begin? Is it your fault that you're unlikable fucked up selfish incapable of dealing with your feelings and and that it's inseparable from the zenin upbringing? You're a bad victim you don't fight back and you absorb everything toxic abt that house and spit it back onto unrelated people. and in the end you die miserably, predictably, inside the zenin house by your father's hand finally fulfilling your destiny of disappearing to allow your sister to make some change. and you might have never been happy or free but all your repressed anger and terror at everybody who lives inside your fucked up house has to go somewhere and you put it all into your last wish, a final curse to your sister who's gonna have to deal with your mass murder desire. selfish and powerless and a freak to the end but you got the last word
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hiiii catmom! i didnt have time to answer during the day yesterday but now im gonna give you all of my freezy hugs!
'MY CAT WHEN HE GOT A MOUSE' the way his nose touched the mouse as if he kissed it TT sorry but it was so soft TT 'HE JUST SCARED IT TO DEATH AND PLAYED WITH IT' its kinds cute tbh TT but im so sorry for this mouse TT hes too spoiled, i dont think his predator ancestors would approve of it. im judging jinjin rn but we still love him
ooh im so sorry for your problem with onions. yeah youve mentioned it. 'she made me chop so many TINY FRICKIN ONIONS' maybe it was a trial? 'DAMN I STILL LOOK HOT' ahadh last time you said the same thing hshahd. just proving youre really hot. ig it was s break up with onion. youre too hot for it.
taho looks SO good!! its illegal. i want to try it! (tbh i want to try everything you told me about but this!) it kinda looks like cognac but also like caramel TT 'i think you will love it' i love it already TT ig im gonna search for the places that make taho here. tbh all of your food look so appealing? maybe its bc its really unusual for me and everything unusual and harmless make us interested. 'he always says im ‘the pretty grandchild’' i mean hes not wrong.
'you can be the lizard' yk it doesnt work like this??? TT am i not your muning anymore??
'its my sister’s birthday' ooh, congratulations! ik you wont give my congratulations to her but anyways. i also seen that you cant just congratulate smn bc it means you praise them for making efforts in doing smth? i dont understand TT like i jast want a person to know im happy for them and i wish them to be happy too? im not even sure if its really true?? but anyway im judging 😡😡 'we’re going to buy CAKE' congratulations!!! hope it was tasty. btw, my mom bakes cakes a lot (she even makes some orders!! im so proud) so we often have some cake at home.
'she actually started on the tonic then went up' ok it was veryvery interesting and educational!! but i didnt get this TT why is it?.. what is it?... is it bad?.. but before this everything was absolutely great! i feel like all my friends who got mental traumas in music school shouldve asked you. 'if this is still confusing let me just give you a kiss' ohh thanks lovie TT why they cant do it at schools? thanks for your explanation and the kiss!! i appreciate your efforts!! get my freezy kisses!! and yk what? i was in a kindergarten some time ago and draw some notes for them! so im a musician of a kind too!
'figure it out with the context' tbh its difficult to translate rus into eng sometimes. weve lots of figurative phrases and constructions. its not like other languages dont but im not talking abt them rn. i cringe sm when i hear or have to make a literal translation? it usually was in school bc we didnt have enough time to make up a beautiful literary translation.
'can i say that to elderly people and they wont slap me?' you can. i personally allow you to do so. yeah its not a formal word but its not bad. they use it sometimes themselves.
'also he likes russian culture cos ig its memey?' i dont know if i should be offended or be proud.... its like i can insult myself, my friend and my culture but im still protective. yeah it may be memey BUT your brother is stupid, tell him this. im sure he doesnt even pronounce blyat right. if anything, its ok, im not offended or smth. just kidding. 'he’s just drawn to stuff like that' ok its cute maybe. does he know atomic heart? do you know it?
'im sorry if you were offended by that' it ok, im not. its pretty hard to really offend me if you dont straight up tell me insults. its kinds cute that you think so. languages sound differently and its fine.
'i will listen to this song later' did you?...
'we should run away together' i think we should riot TT
'im glad my SUFFERING is funny' its not your suffering its your prick being defeated :)
'we can talk about the darkling' ben barnes is so super handsome i CANT. these LOSERS 40 yo british actors???? hate you you sexy men!!! 'we can also talk about daemon' his hair is so pretty!! im obsessed with idea of him only letting his s/o do his hair (including cutting it).
'im down to hear' im down to read :) imagine him trying to be a better person? but in his twisted ways, not really doing smth relevant but idk.. spending more time with the court? spending more time in the red keep? attending council meetings not once but twice a year? its ooc? maybe. but imagine one exact moment when it strikes. when he realises that hes brother is in danger, his homeland is drown in crimes and vissy indeed can die. and if he die, realm has no real protector, its gonna be the living hell. so he becomes more timid and quite bc inside hes tearing himself apart, hes got such a big conflict, he finally understands the tragedy and tries to not fall apart bc he needs to be strong. hes the dragon after all? but in the end of the day he comes back to his chambers and want to cry (and maybe he does in the embrace of his wife. maybe even him being able to change is on her behalf and the result of her influencing him for a long time). YAY i got carried away AGAIN so surprising. hope it was interesting at least.
'how do you feel about hearing scary stuff' as long as there are no jumpscares im more than eager to listen to your stories!
'maybe i dont either' yk what? numbers dont even exist. mathematics is fiction. scientists are delusional. height is a lie.
'i’ll listen to these when i get home from school' did you?... if youre ever interested, ive found a translation of Наружу изнутри (Outside From The Inside) and the others are not so popular( and im too lazy to translate( but the lyrics arent the main factor of my love! the music! is! absolutely! fantastic! so i really want to know your reaction.
omg love TT get showers (you do NOT waste water) and drink more water!! always my freezy kisses!! have a nice day/evening/night!! take care! love u<з
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us <3 HELLO. actually im the cat in the background HAHAHAH so sleepy HAHAHAHAHA i love sleeping
hiiii catmom! i didnt have time to answer during the day yesterday but now im gonna give you all of my freezy hugs!
<3 FREEZY HUGS thank you. it has been pretty cool the past few days. undoubtedly because of your hug hugs <3
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'MY CAT WHEN HE GOT A MOUSE' the way his nose touched the mouse as if he kissed it TT sorry but it was so soft TT
my cat did that too. i assure you, its not a kiss but a smell. LOL
'HE JUST SCARED IT TO DEATH AND PLAYED WITH IT' its kinds cute tbh TT but im so sorry for this mouse TT hes too spoiled, i dont think his predator ancestors would approve of it. im judging jinjin rn but we still love him
T_T yeah jinjin fr put him through so much T_T like he would let the mouse crawl up the wall in an attempt to get away, but then he would pounce the poor thing and knock the mouse to the floor T_T i think we let him do this for ??? an hour??? T_T he doesn't know how to kill mouse T_T he's such a house cat. even his papa yushi is like that T_T BUT YUSHI IS WORSE. LITERALLY BRUTALIZES WHATEVER HE HUNTS. grabs them with his teeth then YEEEEETS them back and forth T_T NEVER KILLS THEM just keeps them in constant fear. a true menace. T_T yushi's mom, meowmeow, was the BEST KILLER or hunter, she was swift and merciful. the moment she got a mouse, she'd kill it it by choking it then eat it. T_T i mourn the fact meowmeow never got to teach her babies how to hunt cos our neighbors gave her away T_T and thus yushi never got to teach/show jinjin how to do that either T_T anyway jinjin and yushi = menace; mochi (yushi's brother) normally did that with lizards T_T he'd always end up breaking the poor lizard's tail before it eventually dies T_T ALSFHASFAL:SFHASF brutal. i miss mochi, i almost cried again thinking about him
ooh im so sorry for your problem with onions. yeah youve mentioned it. 'she made me chop so many TINY FRICKIN ONIONS' maybe it was a trial? 'DAMN I STILL LOOK HOT' ahadh last time you said the same thing hshahd. just proving youre really hot. ig it was s break up with onion. youre too hot for it.
IT WASNT A TRIAL T_T HELPPPP AHHAHHAH it was because the tiny onions came from my aunt's farm and they had been in the refrigerator for like so long so she was like do them all and i CRIED. HAHHAAH its funny i said the same thing. <3 love that for me. unfortunately, i see onion everyday T_T we can never break up T_T
taho looks SO good!! its illegal. i want to try it! (tbh i want to try everything you told me about but this!) it kinda looks like cognac but also like caramel TT 'i think you will love it' i love it already TT ig im gonna search for the places that make taho here. tbh all of your food look so appealing? maybe its bc its really unusual for me and everything unusual and harmless make us interested. 'he always says im ‘the pretty grandchild’' i mean hes not wrong.
it does look like cognac and caramel. !!! I HOPE YOU FIND A PLACE THAT SELLS FILIPINO FOOD!!!! maybe im biased but i think ALL those food is amazing LOL I MEAN I SHARED THEM of course i love them HAHH. i understand what you mean about unusual but is kind of amusing to think these foods are super normal to me hHIHIHIH cultural perspective is weird lol. also yes i am the pretty grandchild (even tho my grandma gaslighted me as a child into thinking i was ugly T_T HELP)
'you can be the lizard' yk it doesnt work like this??? TT am i not your muning anymore??
HAHAHHA YOU ARE MY MUNING MY LIZAR MUNING MINGMING LOVE LOVE HAHAHHA
'its my sister’s birthday' ooh, congratulations! ik you wont give my congratulations to her but anyways. i also seen that you cant just congratulate smn bc it means you praise them for making efforts in doing smth? i dont understand TT like i jast want a person to know im happy for them and i wish them to be happy too? im not even sure if its really true?? but anyway im judging 😡😡 'we’re going to buy CAKE' congratulations!!! hope it was tasty. btw, my mom bakes cakes a lot (she even makes some orders!! im so proud) so we often have some cake at home.
HEY!?! why wouldn't i give my congratulations to her 😡😭 ok maybe not right now she's in school. but i talk to her about you HAHAHHAH and she doesnt gaf T_T so /: yeah ig in english congratuations does mean that, praising someone for what they did. but i mean a birthday is a level up so CONGRATS! you made it this far <3 idk why youre judging again ? /: youre so judgy T_T
THE CAKE WAS SUPER TASTY but i did this thing again where i got more because i wanted more even though there was still some in my plate and then i suddenly became full halfway finishing my plate and then i was T_T forcing myself to finish cos i dont like wasting food. anyway i brought it up with me and ate it after a few minutes... then...i ... got some more T_T HAAHAHAH
OMG YOUR MOM MAKES CAKES i immediately though does she doe international shipping HAHAH but even if she did T_T im pretty sure that would be a bad idea cos her cake would be .... not cake anymore by the time it got here T_T HAHAHA
'she actually started on the tonic then went up' ok it was veryvery interesting and educational!! but i didnt get this TT why is it?.. what is it?... is it bad?.. but before this everything was absolutely great! i feel like all my friends who got mental traumas in music school shouldve asked you.
YOU HAVE FRIENDS WITH MUSIC TRAUMA HELPPPPPPP T_T also it's not bad! i just explained it to you because its VERY INTERESTING TO ME not because it's bad unexpected because before this there was no indication it was going to happen. im glad you think its great T_T i hope you understand somehow T_T i dont want to be telling you things and just confusing you T_T
'if this is still confusing let me just give you a kiss' ohh thanks lovie TT why they cant do it at schools? thanks for your explanation and the kiss!! i appreciate your efforts!! get my freezy kisses!! and yk what? i was in a kindergarten some time ago and draw some notes for them! so im a musician of a kind too!
YOU DREW NOTES IN KINDERGARTEN !!!!!!!!!!! WHHHATT I ONLY STARTED DRAWING NOTES IN LIKE HIGHSCHOOL T_T. i dont want to be kissed by my teachers... only a select few. i take all your freezy kisses and put them in my pocket for when i go to school later
'figure it out with the context' tbh its difficult to translate rus into eng sometimes. weve lots of figurative phrases and constructions. its not like other languages dont but im not talking abt them rn. i cringe sm when i hear or have to make a literal translation? it usually was in school bc we didnt have enough time to make up a beautiful literary translation.
omg same! we did that for highschool, like translating eng to fil and fil to eng and its like T_T so much gets lost in translation T_T. i actually saw this video of this man helping a cat down from a really high post and he was like давайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавай and i was like ??? so i was like ok i think i know what that means but then the english translation wasnt the one in my head so iwas just very confused but then i thought its probably a lose translation and i am better than this english translator because i know nuisances happen in translations HAHAHAHAHAHAH but idk what the translation was in the subs anymore HAHAHAHAH
'can i say that to elderly people and they wont slap me?' you can. i personally allow you to do so. yeah its not a formal word but its not bad. they use it sometimes themselves.
ok HAHAHA then ig that means its really not a bad word AHAAH
'also he likes russian culture cos ig its memey?' i dont know if i should be offended or be proud.... its like i can insult myself, my friend and my culture but im still protective. yeah it may be memey BUT your brother is stupid, tell him this. im sure he doesnt even pronounce blyat right. if anything, its ok, im not offended or smth. just kidding. 'he’s just drawn to stuff like that' ok its cute maybe. does he know atomic heart? do you know it?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH i dont think its an insult T_T but i mean if people made memes about my president/culture id feel really cringe about it BUT ALSO ITS FUCKING TRUE OUR PRESIDENT is CRINGE. i think memes are a great way to kind of ... critique society. we are all cringe. and we should all be better. also i;ll tell my brother about this later HAHAHAH
nvm i talked to him already
he knows atomic heart, and he says he thinks the plot of the game is interesting because its imaging a world where the soviets were competent enough to advance technologically in such a short period of time. also he says he wants to start a violent conversation with you HHAHAHH what do you feel about ukraine and the kidnapping of ukraninan children by the russian military and the wagner group, also on a less serious side how do you feel about TES3 morowind.
i just typed that how he told it to me. HGAHAHHAHAAH
he says the real reason why he's interested in russian culture is the disparity between the serfs and stuff ??? he's ranting rn incant type it all. he says its the novels. he wants me to remove some parts im not going to AHHAHAHAHAHA. he says you should have been burned my napoleon HAHAHAHAH. he wants to tell you so many stuff T_T (i think he wants to steal you from me i wont let him ur mine)
he says people normally go 'i will die for justice i will die for freedom' but russian says 'i will die' he finds that interesting.
he's saying a bunch of stuff about russian people. some guy ??? i didnt' catch it. 'everything in russia became rapidly modern after being free from the mongols all the way to modern russia, your problem is the oligarchy and the leaders of your country T_T dumb shits' HAHAHAHAHA
russians are hardworking but yall are brainwashed from tzars to princesses to putin. yall should apparently follow france and VIVA REVOLUTION lol. idk he's mentioning more people, Hadrian? idk some rando... from rome? and aurelian? ok. too much info. idk.
'russia is third rome? why dont you do the same things that made rome good'
he knows roadside picnic?
ukraine is older than russia but its older
just typing the things he's saying
final word: the white army should have won against the red army. HAHAHHAHAH
He wants me to ask you: what do you think based on what he's said, is he unhinged™?
'im sorry if you were offended by that' it ok, im not. its pretty hard to really offend me if you dont straight up tell me insults. its kinds cute that you think so. languages sound differently and its fine.
ok let me offend you then. i hate you :P SSKKSKS IM KIDDING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
'i will listen to this song later' did you?...
i have not T_T i forgot about it aslfhasfkahfas i'll LISTEN WHEN I GET COME FROM SCHOOL I PROMISE
'we should run away together' i think we should riot TT
T_T no. we should have a house in the woods and take care of strays
'im glad my SUFFERING is funny' its not your suffering its your prick being defeated :)
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHH ok then hahahah i still want to finish the kylo fic i have been writing for days so T_T
'we can talk about the darkling' ben barnes is so super handsome i CANT. these LOSERS 40 yo british actors???? hate you you sexy men!!! 'we can also talk about daemon' his hair is so pretty!! im obsessed with idea of him only letting his s/o do his hair (including cutting it).
SO TRUE all these middle aged men that i love so much T_T ben barnes so pretty. AND THE HEADCANON WITH DAEMON L:ASHFLHASFLHASLFHASFH I WANT TO WRITE IT BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING I WANT TO LIVE IT T_T
'im down to hear' im down to read :) imagine him trying to be a better person? but in his twisted ways, not really doing smth relevant but idk.. spending more time with the court? spending more time in the red keep? attending council meetings not once but twice a year? its ooc? maybe. but imagine one exact moment when it strikes. when he realises that hes brother is in danger, his homeland is drown in crimes and vissy indeed can die. and if he die, realm has no real protector, its gonna be the living hell. so he becomes more timid and quite bc inside hes tearing himself apart, hes got such a big conflict, he finally understands the tragedy and tries to not fall apart bc he needs to be strong. hes the dragon after all? but in the end of the day he comes back to his chambers and want to cry (and maybe he does in the embrace of his wife. maybe even him being able to change is on her behalf and the result of her influencing him for a long time). YAY i got carried away AGAIN so surprising. hope it was interesting at least.
it is interesting. i like this idea <3 daemon is at his core a baby bro. idk if its out of character, i think daemon can be whatever you him to be. My brother said daemon is the worst ever in game of thrones and ???? I asked him if he even read it and he said he only knows outside stuff (hes dumb idc i love Daemon) but he agrees that Daemon is great cos of hiss actor. And i agree i love matty meow meow
'how do you feel about hearing scary stuff' as long as there are no jumpscares im more than eager to listen to your stories!
i'll tell you next letter i have to go home. i said i would go to school but i got lazy im just going to our old house to do laundry lol
'maybe i dont either' yk what? numbers dont even exist. mathematics is fiction. scientists are delusional. height is a lie.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH my brother read aloud this and i was like ??? what is he quoting this time and it was just you AHAHAHAHAHHAAH
'i’ll listen to these when i get home from school' did you?... if youre ever interested, ive found a translation of Наружу изнутри (Outside From The Inside) and the others are not so popular( and im too lazy to translate( but the lyrics arent the main factor of my love! the music! is! absolutely! fantastic! so i really want to know your reaction.
i'll listen to these later i promise
omg love TT get showers (you do NOT waste water) and drink more water!! always my freezy kisses!! have a nice day/evening/night!! take care! love u<з
OK HAHAHHAHAHAHH i will shower later. my brother said i should bathe/drink my own sweat DISGUSTING RAT.
i love you byeeee <3
i ate crinkles also i hope you like crinkles.
xxx
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pocmuzings · 4 years
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A GUIDE BARELY ANYBODY ASKED FOR: writing smut foreplay 101.
NOTE: every body is different. every person likes different things, and reacts different ways. i’m writing from my various personal experiences as a Self Assigned Hoe, also the self titled Smut Queen of the rpc. NONE OF THIS IS DEFINITIVE. if you’re unsure- ask your writing partner first. always.
pls be warned this is quite nsfw and straight up Filth. it also is written from my perspective as a cis-gender, pansexual woman.
IMPORTANT OOC STUFF:
always, always keep communication to your rp partner open. consent is sexy. especially with writing.
gauge the mood. if you suggest something to your writing partner and they just say ‘yeah’ or ‘ok’... don’t take it as 100% go ahead. sometimes people, especially in the rpc, will say yes just because they don’t know how to say no. an ENTHUSIASTIC YES is really really good and necessary!!!
vice versa, make sure you tell your partner if you’re not comfortable with something. if you said yes to begin with to writing a scene, but slowly u start feeling uncomfortable and weird... guess what? U CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND!!! I GUARANTEE U NOBODY WILL BE MAD! IF THEY ARE- DUMP THEM AS A WRITING PARTNER!  change your mind whenever u want, about whatever u want. writing is meant for u. its meant for u to be comfortable. ur lil safe kinky space, if u so wish it to be!
talk to ur partner. be their pal. be their fwend. writing smut can escalate v quickly, and if ur not an active talker to ur writing partner, then sometimes things can get misconstrued, or uncomfortable. even if it’s just a check in like ‘HEY HOW WAS UR DAY’ or ‘is what im writing ok????? i love when ur character does ___’ or idk. just be comfortable and friendly!!!
u don’t have to write paragraphs and paragraphs of smut. just.. give a lil detail though. give a lil smth to ur writing partner. like any other reply, just writing one sentence is not really enough for another writer to reply to.
GENERAL SEX TIPS THAT I’VE PICKED UP THAT HELP ME WITH WRITING:
anal is super popular and super wanted atm. i’m not going to say it’s a ‘trend’, bc it’s not really. but it’s definitely becoming more and more mainstream. this DOESN’T MEAN u have to do it / write it, but just know that most ppl atm are on the butt train (yahoo!). so.. yeah, expect anal to be a ~written abt thing or Wanted thing
other ‘popular’ kinks i’ve noticed atm (through fb groups im part of and just friends in general) are choking, and spanking. but this is NOT everybody’s kink. just bc it’s ‘popular’ doesn’t mean its right for ur character. kinky, rough sex is becoming more mainstream i’ve noticed.
a handjob is like.... not ever super wanted. it’s a handjob. it’s not the greatest thing in the world. as far as sexy things go, this is basic tier. a handjob is better than nothing, but i don’t rlly know anybody who actively wants a handjob.
same with fingering- look, fingering is fine, and it can get things in motion, but it’s really hard to orgasm from fingering. i’d say borderline impossible, but this is just from me (and, again, the gals in my lives) experience. fingering is GOOD as a beginning saucy movement, just like a handjob is good to begin with.. but climaxing from it is not Super Likely.
cum is messy and gets everywhere. everywhere. 
pre-cum is a thing. discharge is a thing. women getting wet is a thing. it’lll happen. it’s messy. it’s a lot sometimes, and it’s really.. slick (idk how else to explain it, but it helps with the MOVEMENT of things greatly). it’s good to write abt bc guess what? it means somebody is turned on! this is GOOD
look a ‘tight vagina’ or whatever u wanna call it, is not a Good Thing, bc it means a person isn’t turned on enough / wet enough
when writing basically anything about genitalia... use spit. oh my god use so much spit. be disgusting with how much spit is there, bc u need that as LUBE (unless ur writing ur characters using lube!!!)
write vocal characters. in my experience, nobody is ever 100% quiet during sexy times. if ur character is being touched in a way they like, trust me- they’ll be moaning. they’ll be rocking their hips. they’ll be whispering more, more, more, yeah, like that etc.
if writing rough sex, have a safe word for the characters ic. practice safe sex even with writing! safe words are rlly good bc they also actually help create a safe ooc environment too!! that way, if somebody doesnt want to say smth ooc, they can say it ic, and hopefully feel more comfortable 
write realistic sex. pls. write about the awkward noises. or the accidental wrong movement. or the laughing. sex isn’t always magnificent and beautiful. it’s clumsy and silly. and it’s fun to write it that way, bc.. look, smut is meant to be fun! so make it fun! write it as fun and silly and goofy as u want!!!!
yes cis-men have the prostate and its located in the butthole fdnjkfjkndf. but u can’t write ur character just shoving a finger in a butt. characters, just like people ooc, need to maintain communication before trying anything ‘new’ like that. safe sex everyone!!!
don’t go straight to what’s between the legs. neck kisses. nipples. breasts, back scratch, dirty talk... this is all VERY IMPORTANT to foreplay. don’t ever use write ur characters diving on in, especially not to female muses bc female bodies work v differently. we need waRMING UP! we need a lil teasing.
write hand movement! write where your characters hands are. are they carded through hair? are they gripping sheets? are they clawing at someone’s back? digging into scalps? hands are ALWAYS doing something.
writing about shaving / hair down there is not super necessary, but u do u.
involuntary noises / movements happen a lot when smth is GOOD during foreplay. gasps. moans. cries. hips jolting. mouth falling open. 
foreplay is so SO important before sex. in real life, and in smut. if i write with someone and they go STRAIGHT to writing sex, no foreplay, im like ... hewwo ?? this just isn’t realistic, and my coochie clenches. 
when writing... make ur characters ask the dumb qs u’d probably ask real life. ‘should i get a condom?’ ‘are you on anything?’ ‘did that hurt?’  ‘can i cum in you?’ ffjnkf u get what i mean? i hope.
cis men do cum pretty quickly, especially compared to women. 
showers are fine for sexy times, but WATER is NOT lubricant.
READ FAN FICTION. there’s some really really good fan fiction out there, and it actually does help with ur own writing 
if a character likes something and says ‘yeah’ or ‘like that’... that doesn’t mean necessarily to write another character ‘speeding up’ or getting rougher. if somebody likes something ‘like that’, then keep it ‘like that’, or pick up the pace a little as encouragement. 
WRITING HAND JOBS / FINGERING:
finger movement on the outside of a vagina is just as important as finger movement on the inside. sometimes it can be more important, bc some people are more sensitive on the outside. (i’m not using technical terms bc nothing abt this post is technical or medical lmao)
if u don’t use lube or spit on ur hand when giving a penis a handjob.. it’ll probably hurt the person a little and be rough and not very Easy on either party
a handjob can be pretty fuckin awkward (i’ve been told + found personally). it’s just two people lying / sitting there, with one hand uncomfortably angled to jack off another person. it’s probably the most silent of all foreplay things which is why every person i know (female, male, cis, non cis) hate handjobs. 
ur hand and fingers might cramp a little if ur fingering a female, and the movements might get a little clumsy, but thats OKAY TOO!!! 
the angle of ur hand when fingering is important. if ur just shoving it down some pants/  trousers, it doesn’t leave a lot of movement so it won’t be super Great. under a skirt, or better yet- naked, makes things a LOT easier bc u have more Room.
write about the fingers. write about them moving up and down. don’t just rub them over the clit, or have them inside a vagina. that’s not exactly how it works. we need some pressure. we need a little rub. mainly near the clitoris or on the actual clitoris itself
don’t ever start by writing fast movements. u gotta write about building a motion and speed. start slow, then speed it up. 
fingering: circular motions over near the clit slowly, then a liiiiittle faster. stroking motions up and down. moving up towards the clit properly, then back down and slowly inserting a finger. then pull the finger out. repeat. keep each movement slow and deliberate and teasing. fdjkndfbnjkdfjnk graphic, i know. but. i mean. that’s a good first foreplay move i’ve found ???
handjob: thumb over the tip first as a lil tease, then slowly roll your hand in a fist motion all the way down the length (keep ur arm in a ‘straight’ movement.) then back up. twist ur hand, especially near the tip. move a little faster if ur lubed up enough, and then u can even give a lil ball squeeze if ur feeling courageous. keep that movement going. the FASTER ur hand moves, the more close somebody will get to orgasm, bc for them it’s sometimes all abt friction. 
starting with fingering / a hand job is like the first step of a dance usually. start with hands and fingers, THEN rock on baby, to --
WRITING ORAL SEX:
as previously mentioned, use a LOT of spit or lube. slick that bitch up.
cis-women are never wet constantly. ever. in fact, u can get dry pretty quickly again, so it’s not uncommon to write abt somebody spitting ‘down there’, just like u’d spit on a penis when giving a blowjob. 
most cis-men like their balls being played with a lil. so.. dfjnknj write about balls. i know it can be awkward and weird and the word ‘BALLS’ is not sexy. just try mention some movement there. some playing, or squeezing, or whatever word u feel comfortable using. especially during blowjobs. it’s just a good thing to do if u don’t know what to do with ur hands. don’t go crazy and just grab balls really roughly. 
if ur writing about a blowjob on a penis, deepthroating is never gonna happen straight off the bat. u gotta warm up ur throat a little, get ur throat to relax inch by inch, and not gag a lot. i promise u can’t just shove a whole dick down ur throat, unless u have the gag reflex of a porn star.
BUT also. write gagging. gagging happens a lot with blowjobs. i’ve never blown a guy who hasn’t loved the sound of gagging / choking a little 
jaws ache from oral. it’s a lot of the same movements and exertion, and YEAH IT CAN HURT UR JAW
tongues are ur best friend. a tongue should definitely be mentioned when writing oral on ANYONE.
write about hands AND mouth when writing oral. (use fingers and tongue when writing about going down on a female, and use hand in a fist movement around penis, when writing a blowjob, bc gripping with ur hand what ur mouth can’t reach yet is a+)
when writing a blowjob, focus on balls, yes- but also mention the tip. it’s sensitive for most guys, so a lil swirl of the tongue, or a suck or whatever... that’s good usually!!!
when writing going down on a female- move the tongue a lot. over the clit. then back down. use ur whole damn mouth and get messy. some ppl have a sensitive clit and direct movement onto it can be a lil overwhelming / overstimulating / painful, so yes- clit is good, but it can also be a little too much for some ppl!
write about lips. when going down on someone, lips also create sensations. it’s not the same as TONGUE, obviously, but it’s still soft and warm and it’s definitely something u feel. 
if ur writing about eating a girl out: tongues can be soft and flat, or they can a little pointy when u tense them. alternating between these 2 movements can be rlly good and pleasurable. starting soft and flat near the clit is good, before moving down to stick ur tongue in a little, and move it / wiggle it. but trust me - most of the action should be SOFT especially near the clit, bc it’s sensitive.
if you’re writing about a blowjob: suction. and moving quickly. hollow out those cheeks, and write about the tongue moving as the mouth does. suck hard, but not like.... ur character isn’t a vaccuum cleaner. they should suck ‘eagerly’ or whatever, and use their hand and tongue to help them out. trust me ur jaw will lock / hurt, u cannot suck a dick for like an hour. 
if u deepthroat a penis enough, ur voice can get pretty fucked up sounding, but i’ve never had it last longer than the next day or so. it just sounds like u’ve got a cold / sore throat (and thats bc u do)
some people just don’t like oral. some people aren’t comfortable in their bodies and can’t get out of their minds when it comes to it- which is super understandable. it’s a very intimate, close thing, bc hello -somebody is staring at ur genitalia basically. so hey, if u don’t wanna write it / don’t like it, then that’s completely chill too!
you don’t have to write about ‘the taste’. in fact, it’s absolutely ok and i’d prefer if u don’t bc i personally think that gets a bit weird. u can mention there IS a taste, but u don’t have to get into particulars bc that can get kinda icky. like ... it’s genitalia. we all know it won’t taste like a peach or whatever.
cis-women orgasm from oral sex, i think sometimes more often than they orgasm from actual penetrative sex? this is based off things i’ve read, and again, my own experience. 
oral sex can take a loooong ass time to reach orgasm sometimes. it’s barely ever a two-reply-thread piece. it’s always gonna be longer then that, if ur writing it realistically. sometimes reaching climax during oral, for any gender, can take anywhere up to an hour ??? if we’re being generous ??? again, cis men are more likely to cum first, BUT good oral sex can be dragged on for a while, for anybody. 
WRITING ASS / ANAL STUFF:
im gonna say it straight up. yes. it kinda feels like pooping almost when somebody fingers ur butt. but in a weirdly.. good way. idk how to describe it. 
getting fingered in the ass is SLOW work.  a finger will NOT just go in, especially not DRY. u need saliva / lube. you need the other person to be relaxed, or breathing, and u need to coax them through it all.
u don’t really know whats going on back there if ur on the receiving end. like. u can’t TELL by feeling on what’s going on. real talk: a guy fingered me once and i thought it was two fingers, but it was 3, and then later- when he put his dick in it was fine as well bc he’d relaxed me and gotten me to feel rlly comfortable and Safe. so TRUST me thats important when writing butt stuff. i can’t stress it enough.
it feels Strained. like it isn’t necessarily painful the entire time, but u can FEEL very full. so yeah, nobody is gonna have a finger in their ass and then immediately be ready for another, or be bouncing back , knuckle deep. u need a lot of patience and time for this.
if ur a cis-female... butt stuff is Fine, but its not a way to achieve orgasm, bc honestly there’s nothing stimulating u. it feels nice and the Roughness can be a kink, but u probably won’t orgasm / cum from it
use a lot of spit and a LOT of lube
u can’t just shove a dick / multiple fingers in someones ass either. u gotta stretch it out. take ur time. it literally can take an hour + sometimes more to get someone relaxed and stretched out enough. the amount of spit / lube and fingering needed is ridiculous
when it comes to ass stuff- make sure ur character is BREATHING in order to relax their muscles. everytime they’re relaxed, everything moves easier (this just goes for sex stuff in general too!)
eating ass is a thing, and look- ur not meant to ‘douche’ regularly bc apparently it’s bad for u. so if ur writing abt anal / butt stuff, u do NOT need to write abt anything poopy related or any of the douching stuff. its a silent rule, just like in real life. we don’t talk abt it djknfgnkjd
honestly, the overall feeling of Butt Stuff is just one of being Full and a lil Stretched, and if ur into Pain / a very different feeling then it’s a Good Feeling bc it just is all abt trusting n putting ur body in someone else’s hands (and fingers)
getting ur ass eaten feels warmer / more pleasurable than fingers bc a tongue in general is just nicer and softer then fingers are. 
spread them cheeks, boys, girls and non gender conforming folk
if ur gonna touch a cis-girls ass with ur tongue or fingers or anything... pls make sure ur stimulating her clit at the same time. i promise that can make things speed up in terms of relaxation and pleasure v quickly.
always ask a cis-male before going near his ass (but also in general, always ask before doing anything), especially rlly Straight Dudes bc they get SUPER defensive abt their own ass being touched 
anal stuff can be GREAT for foreplay just bc it’s a bit risque and it’s a bit Rougher and Harder just bc it’s a tighter hole. so, honestly yeah a lil finger in the ass whilst being eaten out isn’t terrible, or being fingered there at the same time as being fingered elsewhere can  also feel pretty Spicy, depending on ur taste
for cis-men, butt stuff  can be a  VERY quick way to orgasm. especially if ur blowing them / stroking them at the same time
anal / ass stuff isn’t for everyone. don’t write it if ur not comfortable. don’t do it if ur not comfortable. 
WRITING AN ORGASM:
the body shakes, tenses, spasms and generally loses a little bit of control
ur grip turns very intense and Harsh
back arching is a Thing
hands yanking at hair is a Thing
for when a cis-man orgasms... it can happen quite suddenly, but it’ll be a little twitch, and u can FEEL them tense. fast movement is what usually gets them to orgasm Quicker, i’ve found. 
for everybody else, i feel like it can be harder to achieve orgasm, but when it happens- your legs get all tense and squeeze the SHIT out of the head between them, and u definitely make some noise. orgasm can just happen, and sometimes with women especially.. it’s kinda easier to fake orgasm bc there’s never truly a Way To Tell physically???? this could be entirely wrong, of course, but there’s SO MUCH discussion and research based on the female orgasm that i feel like i can’t write anything abt it here bc it’s SO different for everyone.
just follow the general rule: ‘you’ll know when it happens’. ‘you’ll know when you know’. 
orgasms won’t always happen. it can get CLOSE but not happen, and it’s not always some big disappointing, ‘blue-balls’ event. it happens, or it doesn’t. sometimes u can write amazing head, and the other character won’t cum, and u know what? that’s ok too.
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sabertoothwalrus · 3 years
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i had ANOTHER dream abt miraculous ladybug and this ones a LONG one. it didnt have your artstyle but time paris DID have lovely architecture such as: the bigass hollow tree stumps in breath of the wild, u know the ones big enough to fit a shrine and a half. anyway, the final battle is Happening, people get to wonder if hawkmoth is gonna bite the dust in real time bc its being televised. this is all taking place smth like 3 yrs in the future from season 4 of the show. so theyre like uhhhh Older Teens and certifiably Tired Of All This Shit. so! at the bottom of one of those tree stumps, cat noir’s identity is going to be revealed! oh no!! hes in a #crisis of the soul mostly bc getting revealed would be Bad but also he doesnt feel like hes helping ladybug anymore. he doesnt feel trusted. a classic tale of the villain manipulating a traumatized teen. and ladybug (looking out over a roof and yelling at the top of her lungs) is like “ABSOLUTELY NOT YOU LEAVE MY PARTNER ALONE.” and bribes hawkmoth away by dangling her own secret identity in front of him like a worm on a hook. it works a little too well. her identity gets revealed! cat noir is safe but in the shuffle hes lost his miraculous and marinette picks it up. shes got both and puts them on. tikki and plagg are like “MARINETTE ITS SO DANGEROUS TO WEAR BOTH AT THE SAME TIME” and shes like “im going to punch hawkmoth in the face” and off she goes.
cat noir is nowhere to be found bc now hes adrian! and she doesnt know that! but he knows shes marinette! drama! so now ladybug is re transformed (without activating the black cat miraculous) and is whaling on hawkmoth. she crashes thru my house which is definitely not in paris and tells me and my sibs we have to get out NOW so we book it and its at this point the dream reveals to me that mylene’s mom is chinese and i sit there like Now Hold On A Minute and my mom says “i told u so!” and i tell her “you dont even watch the show???” mylene was wearing a green cheongsam. i don’t tend to ask questions. also by this point i made a mental note to tell u abt this bc it only gets more batshit.
ladybug told us (and everyone that was running away which was a lot of ppl) that if they find cat noir they shld tell him that ladybug loves him. then she has this Stellar idea. she finds nadja chamack and her camera (bc theres only two newspeople in all of paris and one of them runs reality tv) and is like “hi i need to get a message out to cat noir.” when the camera is situated on her (mind u ms chamack is VERY aware that this is her daughters babysitter and is currently holding hawkmoth in a chokehold) she says “im sorry cat noir. you believed in me and trusted me since day one and i couldnt extend you the same courtesy. i was wrong. there is no one else who can wield the black cat miraculous, no one else i would trust with the power of destruction. meet me at our normal rendezvous point so i can give back what is yours.” its all very heartfelt but undercut by the fact that hawkmoth’s bitch ass is shouting explicatives next to her. the fight resumes. she gets slammed into a wall á la every anime fight ever and manages to hide before getting to the roof where she’s waiting for cat noir. shes in a right amount of pain and tikki is running her mouth abt danger and injuries etc. marinette Will Not Move until cat noir shows up. and he does! adrian arrives! when marinette sees him she starts laughing and crying. adrian is rightfully confused. is this a good thing? is this a bad thing? did she hit her head? (yes to all 3.) marinette says “i have been in love with you since 10th grade.” (were they in 10th grade? i do not know.) adrian says “and ive been busy being in love with ladybug.” and then she apologizes again, gives him the ring back, they hug, kick ass and meet up in her room.
if it feels like we’re going rlly fast now its bc we are. the dream was pretty much a montage at this point. hawkmoth is arrested, the world knows who ladybug is, adrian is an orphan, nathalie is still sick, and marinettes parents r thinking that their kid has nearly died MULTIPLE TIMES and they never knew. also luka is under that bridge going “oh fuck.” marinette is in her room trying to explain what will happen next to alya and nino. alya says “i had to tell nino”and marinette says “i am beyond the point of anger. but whatever.” cat noir falls thru her sunroof and they hug (again, there was so much hugging in this dream to make up for the complete lack of hugging in the actual show) and alya + nino are like “uhhh awkward.” the last convo i don’t have quotes for bc at this point my alarm was ringing but it was something abt how marinette cant be ladybug or hold the miracle box and she wld want alya to be the holder but NINO knows and nino Cant Know. but cat noir doesnt want marinette to lose her memories! but People Know. the conclusion was they have to talk to chloe abt how to navigate paparazzi. this is my chloe-and-marinette-could-be-friends agenda. ok i think thats EVERYTHING. if u read all that godspeed, drink water. OH. FINAL THOUGHT. ADRIAN HAD LONG BEAUTIFUL HAIR WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ALL OF THIS. he had model-brand stubble and sharper teeth than he should.
sometimes I’m peeved that tumblr increased the character limit for asks to be higher than 500 characters, and other times I get
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1k word asks about miraculous ladybug dreams, and I think that’s beautiful
I do unironically love the part about Chloe helping Marinette navigate paparazzi, rip to her canon character development
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favoniuscodex · 3 years
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hello hello :D ive like dumped this idea to my friend but i wanted to share it w u too sbjdnd ( srry it might get ?? a lil bit lengthy ? )
imagine like . a rdr who was an adeptus in the past and died in the archon war BUT they reincarnated . and like their present life / being ( ???? ) kinda sorta befriends xiao or smth and they're completely oblivious to the whole " adeptus in a past life " thing . n at first xiao is like " 😐😑😐😑😐😑😐 ayo wtf " but he's like ok ig i'll talk to u . idk they become like subtle besties or wtvr and then xiao drops the " hey did u know u were an adeptus lolz " . he takes them to meet zhongli and ganyu and stuff to talk abt the past and reminisce and shit but rdr is obvs uncomfy bc like . they dont feel very connected to the whole adeptus thing and they feel awkward being w xiao and ganyu and zhongli now bc its like " these hoes knew me b4 !! but they dont know me as a person rn ! " and it kinda shows bc theyre all acting based on what their like . adeptus life was like . ie " oh but green tea was ur favorite ! " " u always liked having your shoulders massaged " and rdr is just :////
that made absolutely no sense ! but its been lingering in my head and i wanted to talk abt it more SBAJHS
- worm anon
no wait because i’ve always wondered this about reincarnation aus and it seems to be a topic of something you’re trying to touch on so chef’s kiss this is brilliant !!! a reader who doesn’t immediately cave in to the idea that they’re a reincarnation and is like “well, i’m still my own person now” is LOVELY !!! concerns that they’re only being viewed as the person everyone once knew them as but not as the person they know themselves as??? amazing. chef’s kiss. this is a good au and i feel like it would be great for xiao, because he seems the most likely to appreciate the past yet want to move forward with all of the adepti. meanwhile ganyu and zhongli would likely be more firmly rooted in the past and instead keep placing expectations on the reader that i think xiao would have the sense... not to do. zhongli and ganyu are both extremely intelligent, but they’re also sentimental in an upfront way. zhongli clearly longs for the friends of his past in voicelines, while xiao’s longing is seen more in his actions.
xiao would be the better choice to accustom the reader to the idea of them being a reincarnation, because he is the definition of “i show i care though my actions and not necessarily my words” while ganyu and zhongli would try to explain everything to the reader, but that’s not really the approach the reader seems to need???? dhehfhajjsfhhd sorry i’m rambling abt my interpretation of this !!! sorry if i got anything wrong ;;; but this is an adorable idea n would be rlly interesting to read a fic abt!
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nyanpoe · 4 years
Text
(Rough) summary of the last NatsuYuu arc
Featuring chapters 106 and 107, “Visiting a late friend”. 
Note that my japanese isn’t the best, so i might have misunderstood some things.
Also: my own personal notes are in cursive.
In chapter 106 Natsume takes the wrong bus home after going to some far town (if i remember correctly Touko had asked him to run an errand or smth). Yorishima gets on that same bus and after seeing each other (they were like the only ones in the bus) they start chatting. If i remember correctly, Yorishima had offered to show him the correct bus/way home, but he was on his way to return a book to an old friend (named Kusakabe) he used to exchange letters with who had already passed away, so Natsume offers to accompany him.
We get some more insight into Yorishima’s character, how he’s pretty grumpy, asocial and a shut in. If i remember correctly, in the book he was going to deliver, which was one that Natori retrieved from his mansion in the Miharu arc, he found a letter where Kusakabe told him to go visit him someday.
When they get to the house of Yorishima’s old friend, they are greeted by his 3 beautiful daughters AND feel a weird presence in the house.
The chapter ends with Yorishima telling Natsume that Kusakabe only had 2 daughters, not 3.
Here 2 cute screenshots i took of the chapter
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Chapter 107 (later part) starts with one of the letters Kusakabe wrote to Yorishima, where he talks about how he can hear his daughters (note: 娘, musume) played despite having told them to being quiet as he was writing. He also notes how he likes it when it’s lively, and contrasts it with Yorishima’s hypothetical reaction.
The daughters (who are all a bit weird and very pushy) talk a bit about Yorishima and how much their father used to talk about him. Once they leave the room, Yorishima and Natsume discuss how one of them might be an ayakashi, as he is sure Kusakabe had always wrote in his letters about only 2 daughters. 
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Yorishima starts cursing about how nothing good happens whenever he leaves his house and apologizes to Natsume for dragging him into such a mess. Natsume then realizes he feels like his old self, and reassures him that going all this way for his friend is a very important thing and he'll tag along, for Kusakabe's sake, and mentally adds for Yorishima’s sake too. Natsume then kicks Nyanko-sensei outta the room and tells him to go investigate which daughter might be the imposter (since he was just eating cake and being an ass lol).
Natsume asks if there’s lead to tell apart the fake one, but Yorishima says that none of them resemble Kusakabe physically, although their mannerisms sometimes do. 
AND WE GET A FLASHBACK OF THEIR COLLEGE TIME.
In it, Kusakabe tells Yorishima (after failing to feed him an onigiri) about how he should have also gone watch the meteor shower, how pretty it was etc and how the stars seemed to go and fall from all directions, to which Yorishima was like bruh how could that be and if it wasn’t perhaps a tanuki or ghost playing a prank on him. Kusakabe says that maybe that was the reason why the rest didn’t seem to react to it, but that was all the more reason why it would have been merrier if Yorishima had been with him.
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Yorishima immediately tells Kusakabe that he should confess to Kyouko-san already and that he actually would have wanted to see the meteor shower with her instead, leaving the other quite dumbfounded as meddling into other’s affairs (or even caring) was pretty out of character of him. Yorishima just answers that if his roommate is being a pain he won’t get peace either so he should be done with his business. He also tells him that he’s a good man, so there’s no way he’ll get rejected.
~end of flashback~
After that we get a 4 pages Nyanko-sensei pov of spying on the girls, who start acting all creepy, making him freaks out and run away.
The last page has a letter from Yorishima to Kusakabe, in which he thanks him for the last letter and congratulates him, saying he was surprised when he learned about his 2 daughters.
Back to Yorishima and Natsume, Yorishima seems to hold his arm, making Natsume worry and ask if it doesn’t hurt (thinking to himself that it’s the rumored ayakashi arm, and wonders if it’s really true) but the other says he was just deep in thought. They discuss about the daughters again, saying that if they look like kusakabe, what similarities they have etc. Since they dont look alike natsume asks if they dont look like the wife then, but Yorishima says he actually doesn’t know about the wife, neither name nor face. He never got to meet her, as he never met Kusakabe after college again. He says that Kusakabe wrote whatever came to mind in his letters and never got to tell him about getting married not his daughters being born, but mentions that he used to date a girl called Kyouko when they were in college. He says that they looked very happy and (not sure of the jp wording here) just looking at each other/at them? made them blush. 
Natsume assumes that that must have been his wife then, but Yorishima says that she had died in an accident. He talks about how Kusakabe used to be pretty depressed after it, but since he didn't want to make Kyouko sad he came back to his usual self eventually. Still, he didn’t date anyone after that, that’s why he was very surprised when reading the letter talking about his daughters. Knowing that he was able to form a family, after everything that happened, made him so happy he started trembling.
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Nyanko-sensei interrupts them and cries a bit about how the girls were Too Much. After that, the lights go off and Yorishima runs to check that the girls are ok. He starts mildly gay panicking bc he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to his friend’s house. He says to himself that it would have been better if Kusakabe had at least told him how his daughters were called, and remembers the note in the book asking him to come pay a visit someday.
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He runs into the youkai and asks who is she, to which she replies that she is kusakabes daughter. Yorishima says that he only had 2 so that's not possible but she says that Kusakabe just never got to tell him about the 3rd (among us voice kinda sus). She tells him that if he catches her she'll tell him the full story. While chasing for her, he starts shouting that it’s Kusakabe’s house, even if he passed away, saying in his mind “isn’t anywhere anymore”, it’s the house of his dear friend, and he won’t forgive her if she tries to do something to his beloved daughters.
He catches the youkai and: turns out all the daughters were DOLLS.
Apparently, Kusakabe bought 2 dolls at an antique shop and when writing the letter, he used the word musume, which can mean either daughter or simply young girl. The daughters say he had realized that Yorishima misunderstood and thought he meant biological daughters, but decided to play along and keep using musume when talking about them. And so, when Yorishima visited him, he would learn the truth. He looked forward to when he would come and find out.  That’s why the dolls decided to carry on with that wish, and tell him about how fun and merry Kusakabe’s time there had been.
(Here comes the part where I’m not really sure about some things, and I’m not sure either what they are referring to Exactly so I might have misinterpreted it.)
The dolls say they were actually upset at him for never once visiting Kusakabe, but that seeing his arm they understand he couldnt come. Then, Natsume thinks to himself "to his dear friend... (deepl translation:) in the midst of all the bewitchment...". Yorishima here regrets not being more sincere in his replies to the many letters Kusakabe sent because he thinks that’s probably why he stopped sending them (i think?),and the daughters ask him if he knows why he died. When Yorishima says he heard he died of illness, they say: "yes, the reason is similar to yours (that i understand maybe i read it wrong). he simply stopped sending letters when he lost the strength in his handwriting". (when he didnt have enough strenght to write properly basically, bc that’s shittily worded).  Here they show that Kusakabe told his daughters that Yorishima is very intelligent and his own handwriting was very strong and beautiful, so he would notice and get weird worries. 
The daughters then say that there are a lot of letters he never got to send. 
In one of those letters, he writes Yorishima that he had ordered a new doll for his daughters, so it seemed like his house would become even more lively (and also something about a job but idk if it refers to the doll or smth else). A sepparate bubble shows: “one day, when you come...”.
With the book being returned, the daughters have then acomplished their mission. When they leave Natsume wonders what will they do from now on.  Here Natsume wonders about Yorishima’s regrets, the reason why he couldnt pay a visit to his friend, and his own duty with the book of friends.
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Yorishima thanks Natsume for his helps and Natsume says its a good thing he came to see him (aka Kusakabe). He is holding the book open, and as the wind makes the pages flip one last note, with a pretty shaky handwriting ,appears between them. Natsume asks what does it say.
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Yorishima says that it just says as usual, just some foolish things.
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ge · 4 years
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hi so i started playing onmyoji because of you and i wanted to ask if you can give me any tips?? im at level 16 i think im doing well so far but since idk anyone who plays anything would help! sorry for bothering
HEHE YESS ok.. this got rlly long WHOOPS 
so first thing u shld do while ur at a low level is get a mentor.. when i started playing i just fucked around and didnt get a mentor until i was well into lvl 40.. a mentorship is where low lvl (15 to 45 i tihnk..) players can apply for an apprenticeship and level up fast while also getting rewards such as grade darumas and a random ssr once u finish ur apprenticeship.. u can find the mentor application icon in the right side of ur courtyard.. it shld look like this!
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while under a mentor u are also lvling up ur friendship which, once it reaches a certain level, it unlocks the co-op feature that u can find by clicking the scroll at the bottom right hand side of ur screen > friends > co-op tab at the bottom right side of the pop up screen... there u can access ur friends powerful shikigami that u can use a limited amount of times daily to beat hard chapters/evo/soul zones, etc etc... if ur looking for a mentor i recently finished an apprenticeship w someone so im free to help out if ur interested ^__^ (my user is @.sneer [all lowercase] if u didnt already know hehe)
join a guild if you havent already! i tihnk it prompts you to join a guild when u first start playing i dont rmbr but a couple things to rmbr.. one. if ur guild has ‘15gq’ ‘100gq’ in its notice, gq means guild quest and u like.. HAVE to do those or else theyll kick u from the guild.. u can find the guild quests by going to ur guild, clikcing the shrine tab on the bottom right, and where it says GROUP QUESTS thats it! usually theyre basic things like submit grade four souls or evo materials but u shld definitely stack up on evo materials and souls so u dont run out.. so if ur guild says 100+gqs.... i wld suggest leaving that guild for a lighter gq guild.. 100+gq guilds are like.. big bad guilds who wanna rank in the top ten soo save urself the trouble.... TWO. ur realm! ur realm comes w ur guild so if ur kicked u cant access ur realm :( i think u already know what ur realm is and what it does so i will just say .. fuse ur low level realm cards.. SAVE UR DRUMS REALM CARDS.. if its a 1*, fuse it but if its 3*+... save that bad boy..
speaking of jade... SAVE IT.. jade and mystery talismans r like GOLD.. theyre rlly easy to get in the beginning of the game but they start getting super scarce when ur lvling up and r completing achievements.. usually when u get ten mystery amulets or 1k jade ur gonna think “oh what if i get an ssr out of this summon ooh” YOU WILL NOT.. this game HATES ur ass it hates u so much it hates ME it hates EVERYONE except lvl 60s who get new ssrs and shit on their first summon... ennieway.. random chance up events r stupid scams but chance up events featuring new shikigami are not... like the one thats going on right now for sp aoandon.. these r good events... random chance up events coming up out of no where is just netease being like ‘buy more jade we want ur money ugly idiot... stupid lmao’.. so yeah hoard ur amulets and jade AH ALSO IN THE MALL go to the mall and go to GENERAL.. youll see a package that says smth like 5 daily jade or smth that costs 666 jade.. BUY THAT itll give u 5 jade daily everyday.. it also stacks up so if ur not online for a couple days u wil be swimming in it baby...
oh god what else... click ur scroll on the bottom right and at the end next to collection youll see a tab that says TEAM.. thats a very useful helpful tab bc if u ever need help or want to join in on someone elses team for loot this is where u go.. when i started playing and i was farming for hiyoribo shards i always went to the system chat and clicked rlly fast on the hiyoribo shard zone hoping i cld get in ... i did that up until i was in my lvl 40s .. ur prbly smarter than me and alreayd know abt this tab but just felt like i needed to mention it just in case.........
SHARDS... if u get enough shards u can form a summoning pact w that shikigami.. demon seals are little side quests that pop up after youve completed a chapter/exploration and they come up randomly with a handful of different shikigami... but you can also access all of the demon seals from the TEAM tab i mentioned above.... demon seals only have a handful of shikigami though not all of them so dont expect to see like ssr demon seals lol also  some of the shikis u can farm from demon seals are VERY good.. ill touch on this later.. DEMON PARADE is another good way to collect shards.. in ur courtyard, click the town sign and the demon parade sign shld be the first thing u see! demon parade, unlike the demon seals, are chance thing, u might get the shards u want or u might not.. its kinda stupid... throwing beans around and shit.. itll give u a lineup of three shiki that u can choose from, if u hit the shiki u picked u get extra shards.. u might see some shiki in the parade w little lanterns over their heads, that just means they give more shards too nothing special
SHIKIGAMI... when ur looking at all of ur rare and sr shikigami ur probably thinking “this sucks these r all USELESS i want ssrs and sps >:(” well akchually... some of the best shiki in the game (for beginners especially) are rares and srs... shouzu (r), kamaitachi (sr), and hiyoribo (sr), are all farmable shikigami u can get from demon seals, if u havent summoned them already! yamausagi, a shiki u will see a LOT, is also a very easily summonable shiki so dont throw her away.. if u have duplicates of the same shiki u can PROMOTE THEM and it will level up one of their skills, just like a skill daruma! (DONT waste ur skill darumas they are soo valuable.. only use them on the shiki u use the most and want to lvl up skills on).. lvling up the skills on ur shiki increases their power and adds perks and makes them over all.. very sexy..
EDIT: added in this list of easy farmable beginners shikigami that u want to keep and build (refer to list BENEATH this one for list of roles)
kujira (sr) support
yamausagi (r) puller
shouzu (r) unique/shield **DEMON SEAL**
hiyoribo (sr) healer/revive **DEMON SEAL**
kusa (r) healer/dps
samurai x (r) cc
momo (sr) healer/revive
ushi no toki (r) unique
kamikui (r) pusher
oitsuki (sr) orbs
komatsu (sr) cc
kamaitachi (sr) puller **DEMON SEAL**
all shikigami have a certain role and its very important u know which shiki is which bc sometimes if u use them wrong u can mess up ur entire team.. here are all of the roles and some shiki examples:
dps: dps stands for ‘damage per second’ but it can also be used as a noun to describe a shikigami that is damage focused (ex. kuro mujou, momiji, hangan, mio)
cc: stands for ‘crowd control’. ccs have the ability to limit the number of enemies actively fighting during an encounter giving u the advantage (ex. enma, yuki onna, yumekui, samurai x)
pusher: pushes the enemies move bar back, giving u the advantage of going first (ex. kamikui)
puller: basically the same thing as pusher. pulls the ally move bar forward (ex. kamaitachi, yamausagi)
shield: shiki that provides a shield of some sort to protect allies without the use of souls (ex. ichimokuren, shiro)
heal: self explanatory (ex. sakura, hana)
revive: healer types with the ability to revive players w a cooldown. not all healers are revives (ex. hiyoribo, momo)
support: self explanatory.. supports allies (ex. miketsu, kujira, bake-kujira)
unique: shiki w unique abilities that cant be placed under labels (ex. hakuzosu, ushi no toki)
orbs: shiki that supply orbs to ur team (ex. aoandon, zashiki, oitsuki)
counter: shiki that counters after an enemy attack (ex. mannendake, vampire)
AND FINALLYYYYYY how to build ur shiki... while doing explorations u get free little souls.. in the beginning this will be ok since ur just starting off but actually each shiki has a perfect soul that makes them work the best.. now there are too many souls for me to actually list so as a parting gift to this entirely too long onmyoji cheat sheet, i will leave u this SHIKIGAMI BUILD GUIDE made by the nura clan.. it lists EVERY shikigami w the perfect soul for them, what role they play, and how to build them.. i touched on their roles a little bit above but i cldnt list everything so heres this.. i use it like everyday when building new shiki its sooo helpful
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1zZoMPfuA1plomt6Kq077Q9CZ3mD_0ThYzF_tIUyf28M/edit#gid=824193257
ANYWAY.. I TIHNK IM DONE.. I HOPE THIS WASNT A COMPLETE UNINTELLIGIBLE MESS... if u need clarification for anything pls ask i feel like i mashed up a bunch of words together and called it a day.. ummmm so yeah :) theres probably..... stuff... i might be missing but if theres smth specific u want to know about JUST ASK!!!!!!!!! im always looking for new omj friends...
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Hello half valid anon here (i like my nickname 😂). I got through all your fics and they were all great. Right now im just reading a lot of poi fanfics and watch fanvids cause i can't accept that the series is over 😂 --- i know what you mean about fics affecting you negatively. I had this with 13rw (the Show and some fics) everything was so dark and hopeless that i had to stop watching it. I also love to seek out fics where someone is hurt so i can feel my pain through the characters (1)
But i try to read only fics with lots of comfort so it kinda feels like i get comforted as well (dont know if that makes sense). If it makes you uncomfortable or if its unhealthy for you to write about this i completely understand and i dont mean to come of as pushing you to write. I just hope whatever you do will be the right decision for you! As for you feeling suicidal im sorry to hear that. Let me know if there is ever anything i can do to help! I wish i could say sth more comforting but Im not super good with words :( i just hope you have people in your life that support you! 💛
maybe root will grow on you too? Or maybe you can skip her scenes and enjoy John, Harold and most importanly Bear! 😂 Yeah Shaw definately looks really good. She is a bit like Reese minus the caring. At first it seems she doesnt care about anything at all but thats not exactly the Case. There was an episode with Shaw and a little girl (3x5) and i really loved it (have you seen that one?).
I really think Shaw would grow on you (especially since in the beginning she does a lot with John) but then again a lot of her later scenes include Root so im not sure. Yes i love that there were never any romantic undertones with her and John!!
yeah the core four were great. I was so sad when Carter died! :(
i guess everyone sees chemistry different, i think Shoot and Rinch post have great chemistry ☺️
as for John being good with people: YES!! he is always so compassionate and such a great listener as well. I especially like him with children. John and the baby were so cute or John with the boy who offered to pay for him. John + Kids was always a great combination and i wished we would have seen it more often. Also regarding children we did we never got to see a John Taylor scene after Carters death? I needed that!
yes John the badass is also amazing! His character has so many different sides and i love him so much!!
i think Grace Harold was really cute but i dont really see a future for them, i mean he lied to her for so long! but then again they really loved each other so idk maybe they work it out. Im also not into John/Harold/Grace but like you said good for the people who like the ship :)
John and Zoe were great! i wish Zoe would have appeared more often!
I have so many things to say about John and the boring therapist but i think i better not say them :D i wish i could just erase their relationship from my mind!
of course he didnt die! i didnt see a dead body so i refuse to believe he is dead! i also just wanted them to be happy. what kind of an ending is it to let the main character die? i refuse to accept this! -- thank you for the rec i will check it out :) while i do like fluff i mostly read h/c (with the focus on the comfort) cause i just want John to get his much needed comfort :D -- i have no idea where season 1 is supposed to be boring. but idc the people can live with their wrong opinions :D
(today: tumblr user nourann3 discovers the option to indent text after almost 5 years on tumblr...)
Hiii !! It is a very valid nickname 😂 That's nice !! Hmu if you want more recs ! Lol same honestly, I can't believe it's been 4 years since the show ended ! I can give you a link to my poi/Rinch fanvids playlist if you're interested 👀
Oh boi 13rw is so cursed, can't believe I watched all of the 1st season 😬 I remember being afraid of the suicide scene making me uncomfortable but it was so cringe, unrealistic and just bad that I wasn't even that uncomfortable, I cringed when she cut her arms but that's it.
Yeah big mood I project a lot on comfort fics as well. For suicide fics, I think it also depends on how the fics adress the subject. It's something that is complicated to write. If I read a suicide fic with no recovery I'm gonna project but feel like shit. But with recovery, I can project into the recovery as well so it's better ! I read a really good ace attorney fic showing Miles recovering after a suicide attempt, it was thoughtful and didn't fall into the pitfalls of magical super fast recovery/love heals everything, and some lines stuck with me, it was really good and comforting. But yeah if it's just a suicide/suicide attempt then I don't think it's good for me (but sometimes I still read it bc I'm a Dumb Bitch).
Dw you didn't come off as pushing 💜 I'll see how I feel about continuing it or not. I have to figure out if writing about suicide is positive or negative for me 🤔 I mean I'm not portraying John's suicidal crisis as a positive thing, and he reaches out to Harold, and considers he might get better so I don't think it's bad for me ? Another problem is that I have a tendency to drop my wips to write a new shiny idea I get, and then I never finish anything gkgkffjfjf I dropped the suicide fic for the body horror fic which I dropped for the time loop fic, and there's also the hanahaki fic I started last year but I haven't touched in months, plus a bunch of random shit floating around OneDrive lmao someone stop me
What helps the most is venting, just getting that shit out is helping y'know. I appreciate your support ♥️ at least it's not as bad as it used to be
I doubt Root will grow on me, catch me watching her scenes at 1.5 speed lmao, also yes you bet I'll enjoy watching them !!
Yes I remember that ep ! Iirc the little girl tells Shaw she has feelings but the volume is lower than in other people or smth along those lines ?
I hope she'll grow on me bc she seems cool. I remember I was a bit afraid of her just becoming a sort of hollow copy of John, like "look we added another badass to the show". Seems to be more than that though ! Also I'm curious about their mayhem twins dynamic. But yeah if she has a lot of scenes with Root idk how much it'll annoy me
I feel like I wouldn't be able to get the Shoot chemistry bc I'm too biased against Root lol
Ikr the crossing hurt me so much. But thinking about it takes me back to my careese days and my first fics lol. I feel like the death of one of the core four + the abandonment of the library really alienated me from the show (did I already say that before ?). And here I'm gonna shamelessly derail from Carter to the library bc boiii do I have a lot of feelings about the library !! And you're here, talking about poi, so you're the perfect subject to throw these feelings at. This post really says what I feel about it (I'll put the link at the end as well if you wanna read it after you're done with this l o n g reply). It was in a way its own character and its forced abandonment/destruction really hit me (fucked me up when they broke that glass board). It says something that it's one of the few things I remember from S3 along with Carter's death and 4C. I loved it a lot, it was a cornerstone of the show. It was a safe place, a home for Harold and John (and Bear !). I love when they're together in there, I love this cracked glass board, this yellow stained glass in the windows !!! (at least I assume it's stained glass ?), these lights, Bear's cushion, the whole cozy/safe/isolated feelings, just absolutely everything. And yeah later they have the subway, idk when it's introduced I don't remember if it's early enough for me to have watched it. And maybe it's nice, I can't judge rn. But it's like trying to give me a new MC after a MCD, make him as nice as you want I'll be clutching the previous MC until I die. Gkfkfkff I went overboard and off topic but I just love the library ok
Ikr I love how he's badass but also gentle and understanding and nice to people ! I love him !!! Yeah wolf and cub is really good, also I love when John smiles to Darren at the end !! I use this moment as my pfp bc I love it so much. He's just so cute ! I wish he smiled more (did we ever hear him laugh in the entirety of the show ?). Baby blue is so great, Harold and him are such a married couple in this ep ! Yeah same more content with John and children would have been nice.
I never thought about how much we needed a John Taylor scene but yes !! We were robbed :((((
Speaking of John being a cool badass. Here's a badass John vid rec it's super good
youtube
Yeah they were cute in the past. I think it's good he went back to her bc it gives closure to both of them. But I don't see their relationship working again. She grieved, probably started to move on after all these years and knowing he lied all this time probably won't make her want to go back with him. I've never been in love so what do I know lol, but were I her I probably wouldn't want to go back with him and I'd just be happy knowing he's alive after all.
Same I need more Zoe (also she's hot)
Lmao let's just forget about that weird relationship shall we
Aren't we all the same, firmly believing he's alive and happy out there ! It was foreshadowed since the first ep and it made sense but do I care ? No, fuck that shit John is very much alive
You're welcome ! John needs all the comfort and the love !!! I think I have a preference for fluff bc he gets hurt enough in the show lol
Indeed they can, veryyy far away from us
Sry if this is shit I have like half a functioning braincell today
The post abt home bases I mentioned
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gayregis · 4 years
Text
im at that stage of fatigue from the day where i’m so tired the fanfiction is writing itself in my mind theough dialogue but i’m too insanely tired to sit down and write it all out and i work a shift in the morning too so i dont even have time ... so ill forget everything come morning
[[MORE]]
psych, ima try to outline it rn
this is after a little sacrifice and also after season of storms and takes place in cidaris (im not clear on if kerack is the capital so season of storms dealt with the proper king of cidaris or if it was just a local kingship but im hcing that cidaris is also a capital city as well as the region/nation).
this is geralt and dandelion going to the grape festival mentioned in a little sacrifice btw
main goal for this is to basically give dandelion more depth and address his identity issues and backstory and just how his character is in general
valdo marx (as far as i am headcanoning in terms of appearance right now) is of course , also a twink and they have similar builds but valdo isnt as skinny as dandelion because he has access to three full meals every day. he has dark brown hair and green eyes, and i might give him the same hair and beard as dandelion from tw3 just to spite cdpr. he used to sport green/purple doublets as an independent artist, but now as the reaident troubadour of cidaris, he’s adopted their emblatic colors (blue and white) and wears a doublet with a sash of these colors. he doesn’t have poofy sleeves, instead he has these ruffs and like... bellbottom sleeves. also this method of embellishing clothes that i learned from a glamour video (it’s @ 4:30ish) called slashing is applicable to his outfits. i think he veers away from tights unlike dandelion, so he wears more breeches than anything. he doesn’t have detailed embroidery like dandelion, but rather patterned/quilted areas with silver and some small pearls added for decoration in these sections as well.
so geralt and valdo have to be placed together somehow in a conversation. basically he wants to #expose dandelion for being a fraud... but he’s not doing it out of Pure Evil, he’s (vaguely) kind of like the lodge of sorceresses in which it’s like, he is only wanting things to be done his way because really he thinks it’s the best way to do things. he’s really a victim of academia, he would be someone that supports the fact that instruments are like $1,000 each.
basically he and dandelion were classmates at oxenfurt and at first hit it off very well and shared notes and thoughts and sexual partners and all was splendid. but they got competitive and valdo HATES that dandelion does NOT come from a family known for music or any kind of art. basically dandelion is a novus homo, but in the world of music, and valdo comes from an established family which has been musically inclined for generations. he feels that ppl like dandelion just wanna go to oxenfurt for shits and giggles and dont take this opportunity seriously because theyre too blinded by their own arrogance to actually learn anything. and he may be right in regards to a lot of other children of wealthy noble families that attend oxenfurt. but dandelion’s case was different and this he does not like to admit. also he hates how dandelion is... inclined to... a life of debauchery... because he feels he perpetuates stereotypes of artists being good for nothing penniless drunkards and lechers, and makes it harder for Real Professionals from Actual Lineage to get a job. also he has a disdain for how dandelion really wanted to travel and admired the “musicians of the world” that never attended some fancy college, and again valdo sees this as him not appreciating the opportunity he was given, because all you ever need to interact with is this little 1 mile by 1 mile square of oxenfurt, and not even the whole city, just the college. also when valdo tells all this to geralt he goes give him a judgemental up and down look like... “julian loves meeting, writing about, and... ahem... fraternizing with... all kinds of ... people.” (he was gonna say “trash,” but geralt has swords and cats eyes, so valdo swallowed that last word). ALSO ALSO valdo thinks dandelion is further destroying the sanctity of academic places like oxenfurt by training good for nothings from other nobody families, like essi daven, who was actually from a noble family but one not too rich because it was kind of distant from the ruling family. and since she threw a fit they let her do her own thing instead of marrying her off.
also valdo is like “julian— ahem, ... ‘dandelion,’ as you know him... i don’t know why he uses that absurd little nickname,” because he just finds the idea of a pseudonym stupid (since hes from a famous musical family of course he wants to highlight his lineage). and again he dislikes how dandelion is Corrupting Others by not only mentoring essi at oxenfurt, but training her in an “unorthodox fashion,” ie they just duet and talk shit about random stuff and he advises her weird things like “get a cool fake name so all the girls have something to scream as you go on stage”
as they interact with each other, valdo and dandelion actually are kind of opposite of dandelion and essi. they dont throw ANY snide remarks and keep it all under wraps with just pleased smiles and then as soon as theyre out of earshot (a long way for bards) theyre like “i am going to take the replacement strings of my lute and choke the lights out of that tone-deaf idiot” ... geralt is like 😳 to see aggression in dandelion and hes a bit intimidated at first but then is like Bro Are you Fucking Okay ????? Because its so unnatural for dandelion to be Actually Upset about something and not be ok within half a day
scene where dandelion is staring at the mirror and geralt is like you have been staring at the mirror for a long time, even by your standards... dandelion is like “i have to change something... geralt, look at me. look at me. (says it again bc geralt didnt look up the first time). if you could change one thing about my face, what would it be?” and geralts obviously like “nothing.” and dandelions like dont be fucking difficult just tell me i need to know i need your opinion and geralt is like that IS my opinion i sincerely like your face the way it is. something something blah blah blah tenderness geralt says smth like dandelion you have a lot of loyal fans okay...... and hes trying to refer to himself but he doesnt wanna say it aloud
i think something about dandelion talking about who he was (basically referring to “julian” in the 3rd person) and just very uncharacteristically self-loathing but them he pops back into his little arrogant self ... basically he covers that everyone Fucking Laughed at him for wanting to sing but he did it and now he’s the best and also, sexy. in this whole scene (same scene as last bullet point) he is also saying that he needs to “prove himself” and geralt is just like What More Can You Do, You Are Literally Famous... but dandelion is just pensive about it
also he says something like “theres two versions of me... julian with a dream who nobody knows, and dandelion who’s famous and loved.” and geralts like “theres three.” “three?” “there’s also dandelion, the one i know, who, it doesn’t matter if he’s famous or what, because i just like him and enjoy his company.” BECAUSE i dont know how not to be blunt and not hit my readers over the head with what i wanted to get across. geralt is a blunt man however so i think its acceptable to do this
basically this fic is “dandelion can have little a OOCness for character development”
tbh its not too ooc (hopefully) bc hes not like downright depressed, hes just pensive, like he is when hes trying to think of a good title or rhymes and nothing is working. nothing is working! hes frustrated!!!
i have nooooo idea how to resolve this conflict ive introduced. i think valdo and dandelion have to sing a duet together and it is like skating on thin ice with sharks underneath . MAYBE valdo gets possessed by,, something? not a demon bc IVE HAD ENOUGH GOETIA AFTER SEASON OF STORMS but you know An Entity, and dandelion is like wow this is an improvement!! and geralts like no it isnt, now i have to exorcise this fucker
also throughout this i think that the king and queen of cidaris (maintaining that kerack isnt the capital and is just another kingship within the nation) looooveveeveveeee dandelion and his presence and are like oh dandelion you are always welcome in our court :) which also totally pisses valdo off because its like dandelion came into his work/home and fucked both of his bosses and is trying to steal their loyalty through Sexual Appeal. which. may ring true. but dandelion does stuff for fun and not for manipulation soooo valdo is a little wrong in thinking dandelion is manipulating them. and this also adds to valdos resentment of dandelion for being so promiscuous and also writing about his love affairs bc he feels it detracts from The Art...
basically this fic is also me telling academia and ppl who feel art should be limited to a certain crowd to go stuff it cause no one cares and creativity and learning is only human of anyone. also an excuse to give dandelion character depth and also an excuse to break how geralt is always the gloomy one and dandelion has to cheer him up, i think though they do have their strong personalities, relationships should ideally go both ways in terms of emotional support so it shows geralt has the capacity to support a dandelion with festering anger and personal identity problems. also a way for geralt to learn a little abt dandelions backstory without learning/spoiling the fact that hes a v*scount and actually noble and wealthy (they just refer to his family as being wealthy enough to pay for oxenfurt which is significant but not astounding)
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Text
December Dates
Seventeen Summary: In the spirit of Christmas, boyfriend!svt is here to take you on a date. Word Count: 3k+ Warnings: Fluff, crackkkkkk, v many typos,etc.
R E Q U E S T
my friend: seventeen + cute
A/N: HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU HOS (jk) HAHAHAHAHAHHA. Also ashdiepl because im writing on a tab, i couldnt add any gifs so aksjemksksmsksksmskskdk alsO im so sorry i dont remember if the request is platonic or nah but kaksksksk this is what u get soz
-----
Alright
So no gifs
Imma just do a header real quick so u know wassap
S. Coups
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Das better
hi header
I might delete u later if i get on a pc
But firsT seuNgcheEolL
*deep breath*
Ho u lucky enough to breath the same air he does
N now u are on aa date with him
WoWw
So bf!seungcheol is a cute lil snowflake
Which means he'll buy u an ugly ass Christmas sweater and matching gloves
THAT MATCHES THE ONES HE BOUGHT FOR HIMSELF OFC
then yall go out and play in the powdery snow outside
ImGine seungcheol grabbing yOuR hand 
cebAuse u a dumb loser that slips on nothing
Also warmth
pulling your scarf up a bit because he can tell you're getting cold
Then like a gentleman
will pUSH U INTO THE SNOW
AND START A FRICKIN SNOW WAR
HE'll hit ur dumb face he dont care
He'll maKe u wish u Stayed damn home
Rapid fire frikin snow granades man
Course iz all a bita fun
Then he'll let u win
Cause he does care Bout ur dumb Fce
Also he soft for u gross
Then once that's done he'll start laughing
Not because of post-snow ball fight adrenaline
But because he thinks himself so funny
When he busts a lung screaming "dO Ya wana biLd aSNOEMAN!!!!!"
AND THEN U decline and leave him in the snow
"YAAAAA WE HAVE TO BUILD A SNOWMAN THOUGH!" he'll laugh
U literally wana leave him and his annoying ass
U stomp away
He laughs and goes after u
His hot breath is visible 
and hits your ear when he comes up and wraps his arms around you from behind
U be like, "listen stupid, u corny af, lets break up"
Seungcheol would pout and kiss ur cheek, "nah, u still owe me hot choco. Break up with me after paying me back."
"Ew, why would i pay u back tho"
"Uh cause if you don't imma do thisss," then he proceeds to shove u into the snow again
"CHOI. SEUNG. CHEEOOOLLLLLLLLLLALAKAKAOKS!"
Ok well i have to cut this here first cos there are 12 boys left
Oh Hi hello u here back to ur regular programme
Jeonghan
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Yiz
Unlike cheol
Dis ho not about to get cold 4 u uhm
Leave the cold for someone else
But get warm together
I mean
Wink wINKkkkk
Jk gtfo
This is a wholesome headcanon
Git warm he would gladly
So u know what dat means
CUddlEs
Imagine cuddling jeonghan
BoIii
It's da holidays
Which mean he bout to get dat $$$leep
Of course u dont mind that ur just sleeping in
Gurl if ya do
Let me stress out
If you mind sleeping in and cuddling with yoon jeong han
GUrL
Wathu doin????
AnYWAY
ITz u and him right
Ur in bed reading the novel he got u beforehand right
Look at u looking cute in knit sweater and glasses
EVEN IF U DONT NEED THEM THERE ARE GLZSSES
IM TRYING TO MAKE A SCENE HERE WORK WITH ME
it could be jeonghan's ur using it as a headband shhhh
So like ur sitting down
N beside u its jeonhan v slightly snoring
Right right right
Then ur like "man i want something to eat cause i've been sitting here reading all day"
But also ur always hungry
Cause who isnt tho lol
ANYWAY UR ABOUT TO STZND UP
but jeonghan like a needy ho is like noooooooooooodontgo
N ur like
aww wat a needy ho
"Jeonghan im just gonna get something to eat"
"Eat laterrr, i need u now"
He'll keep his eyes shut and shimmy over
Securing an arm on your  hip so u wont go
U roll ur eyes and put your book away on the cabinet next u
"Jeonghan ive literally been next to u since last night. I'm just gonna get something to eat, and 4 u 2!"
He'll flutter his eyes open only to close them and move even closer to place his head on ur lap
"I dont want toooooo"
U roll ur eyes again and shimmy out of his grip
But only to get into his arms and hide your face in his chest
"You're so needy," u note
"Says you who's tangling themselves on me"
"Touché"
Joshua
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Okay
Get this
Joshua and gingerbread houses
He probably used to build one growing up
And he has just the person in mind he wants to rekindle the tradition with
Congrats u filthy animal
So he took the liberty of getting allll u and he would need
And so much more
Im talking chocolate bars
Shipped cream
Candy canes
Busicuits
Edible glitter
Gum drops
Shrek 1 2 3 4
Is there a four
Im too lazy to google it
And omg u so special to him he loves u so much
Screw u
He wants to share the love with the carats
So he vlives it all
And at first ur shy
Like what if the joshua stans come 4 u
Ok but in this story yall had already annouce ur relationship
AND EVERYONE HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO BE COOL WITH IT FFS LET UR FAVES DATE WHOEVER THEY WANT ISTG
so
Joshua is like "noo don be shy they'll all love u"
(':
N ur like ok cos i love u sm
But not like the company sm tho *barfing noises*
So yall build a gingerbread house and do a whole ass tutorial about it
Except u dont
Cause yal are morons and could stop messing up or earing the ingredients along the way
Sorry honey ur morons i dont make the rules
"Stop eating the marshmallows!"
"U literally finished the bowl of mnms tho Joshua!"
"Uh no that was the gingerbread man,"
ANd then u all bicker like children because u are omfl
And it excalates
fooD FIGHT
U smear cream on joshuas face
He sprinkles sprinkles on ur head
U press graham crackers against either of his cheeks and ask him what he is
"A sexy graham sandwich"
"Ew no wrong answer," u reply
Can i just point out that that chocolate syrup stain is never coming off
*cough cough cough moron cough cough*
Jun
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Imma bout to yeet
Junhui is also feeling nostalic
super soft super baby
And since he's probably feeling bit homesick somewhere in there
he thinks he can remedy it with a bit of chinese home cooking!!!
And whiney needy cuddles also yay
Moving on so
Will it be good?
Damn straight
itll be fikin delish
Will you try to to help him
Of course u gotta help ur man
But like duh
u have eyes
And seeing him all focus and busy and hot
Is really distracting
So like ur as useful as a broken button to him
He doesnt mind tho
He thinks ur cute
Also lovng the attnstion
But the thing about not helping
Not really
And being distracted by a cutie pie
Is that it's basicaly a disaster ending to happen so like
he's efficiently stirring up so hot stuff right
And ur like "man jun's some hot stuff"
And then BaaaaM
U knock over the damn chopping board with the knife and everything on it
Thank goodness the thing didn't chop through your foot of anything
And jun is like "oHMYGOSH DA HELL R U OK"
"... i- im sorry i knocked over ur potatoes"
"My poTaToeS! Listen rn im glad u didnt chop ur foot off"
Jun sighs and looks at the cubes of taters scattered on the floor
You frown, feeling useless
Both of u pick up ur mess
Jun puts down the kitchen utensils in hand
u picked up the last of the potatoes
"Hey we could always wash those, it's not like the floor is mud or anything, even then , potates came from mud"
"Yeah but im sorry, i wanst really helping in the first place"
Jun smirks, "nonsense! U were feeding my ego! That's enough for me!"
You snort and jun comforts u with a tight embrace
Hoshi
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AlrighT fam
I thought of something pretty cute but pretty dumb for hoshi
He's like "imma do something super romantic for Christmas"
So he's like "wear something cute we gon do smth fun" @ u
So u do
U get a cute little red dress just for the occasion
And soonyoung his like "BRO MY GIRL SO SUPER CUTE"
And ur like a blushing mess cause he looks super excited with his big smile and cresent eyss
ahhh Hhh myHOSishiii fealzssmsmmsms
Anyway u think ur gonna go to some cute restaurant right
But hoshi brings u to the mall
To instead join the couples dancing contest
Soonyoung gets super nervouse at ur surprised reaction
He's like, "omg is this a super bad idea i thought it would be cute but like i guess not we dont have to go we could always just drop out"
You laugh and shake ur head, "no it's all good, but i mean like, we don't have a choregraphy, and im not like you who can just break it down."
Soonyoung lets out a breath and chuckles, "nah don't worry. It's not really a compation-competion, and regardless, they're going to show ius a choreo and the couple that best interprets wins a a romantic date for two, fit for a dancing king and queen"
And then u break into a big uwu
"Omg u are super romantic soonyoung"
He struts a pose and chuckles, "i mean, i try"
So you both participate in the contenst
Kinda zumba it out by folling the instructors
Soonyoung is helping you out with your form and explaining to you the steps
He gets a little competative so he doesn't really want to mess us
Up hearing you giggle when you do a s pin breaks his competative spirit
And all he really cares about is having a good time with you
Aleight
But admitedly
He was pretty annoyed when they annouced the winner
Were not the two off you
i mean you lot were the cutest it can gt
Who else could trump that
But then you both saw that the winners were 80 something yesr olds holding hand and looking at each other like the other was their world
and then soonyoung was like "okay valid"
You pout, "aww i hope we end up like that"
Soonyound and you turn to each other
He grins for ear to ear, "then lets go on a romantic date as well"
"I thought you'd never ask"
Wonwoo
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LiNda
I hope you're ready for wonwoo 
Because i sure as hell am not 
So in case youre wondering 
Youre crazy I mean youre reading this arent you 
Prolly at midnight hi fam 
Again i dont make the rules 
Well just a btw Almost every 
Christmas tradition is pagan 
Like the tree 
The wreath 
And SANTA IS SO CREEPY YALL NEED TO GET UR CHILDREN AWAY FROM HIM 
SO MAYbe ur not all that crazy 
For not wanting to continue them on 
i mean sure u can give new meaning to things 
But you wanted none of that
 Which was whyyyy you decided to DIY the decorations to your entire house 
Nnd who else are you going to do that with other than your loving bb boyfriend wonwoo 
Wonwoo doesn't mind 
He thinks its cute 
Because it is a cute date idea 
Youtube tutorials 
Pinterest ideas and paper snowflakes and all 
Yeah 
so wonwoo is there cutting up some of the paper you folded 
You're glueing some popsicle sticks 
He's water coloring some designs in 
Youre pulling on the tape dispenser 
It's all going great 
"Jagiya... i don't want to sound mean but-"
 "They're all ugly as hell. I know Wonwoo." 
Wonwoo gives an apologetic look. 
For a moment u two dont speak 
And then you both brust into laughter 
"Aww whatever, lez stick em on!" 
And do you get your badly painted slowflakes 
Your wolf drawing 
"That's a wolf?" 
"Duh what else would it be wonwoo?" 
The letters that spelled merry chrsitmas 
And the doodle cutouts of the seventeen members 
in personalized ugly sweaters 
And placed them all over the place 
You look around basking in the glory of ur craft 
Its all very colorful 
And crafty 
And looking like a child made it 
Then like an imbecile 
U break into laughter 
"It looks like a kindergartener's classroom" 
U end up roasting yourself 
Making fun of your sloppy handwork 
And wonwoo watches u 
with adoring eyes
 "I almost forgot," wonwoo speaks up and pulls out a piece of paper 
You recive it from him and break into a smile 
"Is this us?" 
Wonwoo snorts, "no its jeonghan hyung in a dress holding my hand sweetheart"
For a moment u believe him
But then he breaks out into laughter
Woozi
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Boi imma fite u
Christmas carols
Okay idek why i ended up so serious with wonwoo
But listennup
Im not about to maypke it crackier
so back to christmas carols
Dis boi is about to serande you with a christmas themed love song
So its around 8pm at night
Jihoon has is guitar
and ur just chilling right
and ur on ur phone letting him do his thing
but then from the floor he was sat on
he turns to you on the couch
And pats ur leg
"Yo i just finished my song u wann hesr"
You squeak and jump of the couch next to him
"Duh dummy!"
And he starts singing
He's talking about stars and warmth
He's spittin fire about the smell of hot choco
The  he's talking sbout how lame joshua's gingerbread house was
Next thing you know ur  crying
because omg that ginger bread houseWAS UGLY
also jihoooooooooooooon just serenaded you
Dont u just
Then jihoon catches you and panicks
"You okay? Why are you cryin?!"
"HowDARS YOU ASK ME THAT LISTEN UP U JUST SAID SOME SWEET WORDS TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!"
JIHOON CALms down
But u crybaby cant stop crying
and of course jihoon panicks again
So he starts singing some other Christmas song
And then u start crying about poor rudolf
And remember regina george
But then eventually you calm down
And decide to nuzzle up against jihoon who replaced his guitar with you in his arms
Then us fall asleep with him sweetly singing about the spirit of Christmas
DK
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 Liz gittit
Of course this ray of light just wants to give off energy to the world 
And since he 
And u u forgetful ass 
Forgot to go shopping for presents 
You decided to go on a dec 24th shopping trip! 
Hurrah! 
But it was too eady for u two 
Like wtf 
Gift giving Is suuch and easy task 
And shoping a day before Christmas 
pshhhhhhh 
Its a heartbeat
 "Whoever gets the best gifts gets for the best price gets to boss the other around until new year," seokmin grins 
You knit your brows deeply at his words 
And wonder what the hell he has in plan for him to think of doing something so ensnaring 
So being the smarter one in the relationship 
"Uh no??" 
Seokmin was like "ok then the other has to do whatever the other says for the entirety of Christmas" 
"???? Whyyyyy?" 
"Because its not challengeing or fun if there isn't any condition" "Ugh fine" 
So the two of you zip around looking for the best gifts you could get 
You try to stay away from the people doing their last minute shopping 
Seokmin doesnt dare go in between an old lady mouthing of another customer 
Tbh its super stressful 
wtf 
what kind of date is this 
Only morons would do this wtf 
Both of you got shoved constantly 
There wasnt really much space to move around 
And there wasnt really anything to choose from 
But hey guess what 
Seokmin found some really cool gifts 
"Daheck did u get that shirt?" 
"Isle five. There were a bunch of people grabbing some stuff and this fell to the ground and so i picked it up and thought it was pretty cool"
You on the other hand got like ok gifts 
I mean theyre not bad
 But da hell did dk get a frikin eeyore onesie idek 
It was no contest.  
Seokmin defo won 
"Yisss so i win therefor u have to make me some Christmas cookies tomorrow" 
"U ho did u really just make me suffer through that so you could ask me to make cookies 4 u???" 
"Yes but we really didn have gifts tho." 
U roll ur eyes 
Seokmin's face falls, "r... r u like mad @ me?" 
"Uhhhhhhhhhh" 
You knit your brows at him but release a smile when u see his nervous look 
"No babo. Im jusy tired, lezgo back home" 
He sighs and nods, kissing your cheeks 
"Dont worry baby, ill carry all of this back home" 
Which he does 
And when u get back 
He says he forgot something in the car
then comes bzck 
And then forcefully turns u around 
Ur about to protest
But the you realize he's putting on a silver necklace on u 
"Yahhhh seokminie, u shouldnt have. Where you even get this"
"I bought it a while back, duh" he chuckles then kisses you on the cheek 
"Merry christmas jagi" 
Mingyu  
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You are a genius for getting boyfriend like mingyu 
uh and super lucky like fu-- 
BUT TODAY 
Ur extra glad that mingyu is 10ft tall 
Because ur going to be decorating your very own tree 
Wow 
You bought he prettiest glass ornamnets
 and the sparkliest streamers 
"I have a vision," u explain 
Mingyu nods in understanding 
U and him lift the tree into the living room 
And then u start decorating the tree from the bottom up 
Its all rly chill
 You lot are chatting about whatever 
He's tellling you about ur tour n stuff 
U put on some Christmas tunes for flare 
And then u stand up from the floor and boogey with each other 
Yall shake ur butts 
and go around the tree wrapping it in tinself 
Mingyu steals one of the ornaments from u
 and u try to take it back from him like the genius u are 
Except hes holding it over his head 
N u cant for the life of u reach his hand up there 
So u step on his foot 
And punch his stomach 
And he bends down in reaction 
In pain
Soz
He was asking for it
U steal the decor back 
Then he proceeds to chase u around because aparently ur the bully 
*instert pikachu meme here* 
N then u get back towork 
Or i mean take a break 
And u eat a bunch of holiday special junk 
And then u get back to work 
"ok nows for the star" 
U hand him the star because its the entire point of his existance
getting that star up ther 
with his longass arms 
He turns to u "u dont wanna put it" 
BOI 
u suck in a breath 
"I cant frIKICN REACH IT U LIL" 
He give a face, "there are ways" 
"My go-- just put the AHHHHHHH"
AND THEN THE NEXT THING U KNOW
 Hes crouching down pulling ur legs on his shoulders 
"MINGYU PUT ME DOWN" you say, about to rip of his face 
Mostly because u have nothi to hold onto
but he stands 
with u on his shoulders
and walks to the tree 
"Put the damn thing on before u fall!!" 
Wow its ur fault again
And screaming u put the star on 
And mingyu putz u down 
"Okay that was stressful" 
U punch him in the gut again 
The8  
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Minghao is super tired 
But super looking forward to spending time with u 
So u defintely go on a date 
But its of the lazy movie watch variety
Im talking all the chesey romance movies 
Set in december 
that has like mistletoe kisses 
And snow scenes 
And also those holiday specials
 For catroons 
And non cartoons 
Even the one with arnold swartzimacallit 
You pull out the laptop 
And get on netflix 
There's popcorn on 
And hot tea 
Or whatever the hell 
Its all just very warm 
and u and minghao are wrapped together in a warm blanket 
Ur nestled in between is legs and ur super warm and cozy and im so soft bleh 
"Oh oh, u should see this part, its my fav--" 
But u stop uourself when u turn and see minghao fell asleep
 U coo and let him obvi 
taking unflattering pictures duh 
But also cute ones because 
#couplegoals 
He doesn't sleep through all the movies though 
You end up watching non christmas themed films too 
Like toy story4 
OKAY I CRIED AT THE ENDING 
PIXAR IS REALLY COMING FOR MY WIG 
"You look really cute cuddled up against me" he'll randomly blurt 
U feel ur cheeks brun at that 
but no he cant have that 
"I thought i was always cute" 
He chuckles and groans as he hugs u tightly 
U laugh at his reaction 
"Of course you're always cute" 
"Ok but the teddy bear u got me is actually cuter" 
"Nononono, the teddy is cute but uuu are cuter" 
"Were u always this gross?" 
Seungkwan 
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Okay 
before u tell me these are getting worse and worse every passing member 
i would first like to say i know 
and  that seungkwan bought u a cute dress for Christmas 
and took u to a fancy restaurant 
Ok ur welcome 
But like even if it werent fancy 
U'd still like it 
cause holy guacamole 
imagine holding seungkwans hand as u walk around
Jsut being so head over heels
and super in love with the cutie
Groooossss 
LinDA 
The feeling is mutual for him when he's around u 
so he stops mid conversations 
just to take ur pic 
Its kinda annoyig 
but kinda cute 
"Hey unknow hansol told me about-- what are u doing"
 "No go on, im just talking ur picture"
 Literally the bst hype man alive 
Will make take dozen upon dozen photos of u 
And will make u pose for aethetics 
He will go on making sure everyone knows u da hottest ho in the place 
n ur like "seungkwan stfu u embarrassssing meee" 
And then oml  
Some moron tries to hit on u 
and seungkwan sqwares up ready to hit a fool 
would he actually do it i mean 
Like 
prolly Not 
but then again he looked really mad 
So u calm him down 
and u go bzck home 
And the cuddles 
"Baby girl im sorry if i embarrassed u"
 "Nah itz chill i mean i know u have good intentions"
U smile and he takes another candid phto of u
"Broooooo!!"
 "Im donnnr. Now hows about we get rid of that dress" 
Vernon  
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okay im willing to guess hansol loves drinking hot chocolate in the winter
So he's like 
"Lets do a hot choco review" 
And buys 897 types of hot choco 
Or like ten 
wtf eight hundres pluss is too much 
So ur like okay i like hot choco 
and then he pulls out his phone and does a vlive 
"No i am not jealous of joshua hyungs vlive with his gf" 
Yall make like ten cups of hot choco 
and is chaotic 
Idek how u could get injured 
But hey 
It wasnt even the hot water invovled 
but the wrapping of the choco powder 
"Technical difficulties hansol is a big moron" 
U get him a bandaid
"Ya! I am not" 
Yall start reviewing anyway 
*insert try guys eugenes voice* 
Im rihght
 Ur wong 
Shut up 
After trying the first onw 
Ur like wow dis is good 
the second was even better 
The third one u hold
then u realized there were eight more cups 
And that u made so
much 
so u were like "omf there is too much "
then u debated whether or not calling seventeen to drink the rest 
But then hansol was like "ther isnt enough for themm"
Then ur like 
"okay whatabout making a super hotchoco" 
n vernon was like 
???? 
"THATS THE BEST IDEA UVE EVVER HAD" 
SO YALL GET A BIGASS POT 
MIX THE REST IN 
REALIZE U HAVENT RATED THE other cups
 Shrug it off 
and get a cup of the hot choco mix 
"Tastes like corn" 
"Bish dafaq" 
Dino 
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Yikes 
so 
Chan is a dumb ho 
and got himself sick at Christmas so 
nononoono thats a no to any cute date ideas 
and its just you and him staying at home 
U personally dont mind 
but hes like "awww but i had so many ideas"
 but obvi U cant risk him getting any sicker than he already is 
So you stay home and take care of him 
and all he can do is complain about everything 
about the cold 
his runny nose 
The lack of taste of the food
 His head ache 
The fact his bed is hot 
And that fact that u have to take care of him 
And treat him like a baby 
"I am not a baby" 
"Listen up, u are always gonna be my baby" 
"Not u toooooo najsjsjjs" 
You make him some hot cocoa 
And hes like "im not drinking that if u call me baby again" 
"Babybabybabybabybaby" 
Ugghgg "If you keep doing that im not going to give u the gift i gotchu" 
"Well das on u" 
And then u end up going ona glaring contest 
Chan ends up giving it to u anyway 
"i hope u choke on it" he grumbles with insencerity 
U coo when u see that its a handwritten letter 
And then u end up crying because hes super soft
N ur super soft
And gahhh u love him so much
 Chan pats ur back because he doesnt want to get u sick if he hugs u  
U sniffle and wipe ur eyes 
"Who's the baby now, cry baby" 
You snarl and pinch his side 
And now i say
This was probably hecking bzd but i hope u enjoyed 
merry CHRISTMAS 
ITS MY FABORITE HOLiDAY 
TAKE CARE Of urselves mwaah
Support me on ko-fi
38 notes · View notes
yn6k · 5 years
Note
hi shine! i wanted to know your thoughts about the book of us: gravity album? any personal favorites? least favorites?
sorry this is so late! i wanted to take my time to answer it because i do have a lot of thoughtsTM hahaha more (like a LOT more) under the cut :) 
so on first listen of the album, or honestly even just from the album spoiler haha, my ears instantly focused in on cover and how to love! so i’ll probably have the most to say about those songs + time of our life since ive listened to them the most!!for me: love how its in compound meter! always love me a good 12/8 or 6/8 or whatever it is haha its felt in three basically lskj i dont have a lot to say about this song? i think the focus is more on the lyrics? but musically i cant really identify anything that really sticks out to me alkdj like typical poprock i really dont know what to say maybe theres more interesting things going on underneath that im terrible at picking out (like in the chord progressions) fav part is def the prechorus^^time of our life: its so weird talking about this now bc ive gotten so used to the song that lkj some of what im saying (like the changes i would have done) feels /wrong/ but ahaha still here are some of my thoughts^^ FIRST OF ALL WONPILS PIANO SOLO >>>>> i just really love listening to it and i think an underrated part of his solo is the i think synth drums underneath them and how it creates this driving motion for the song and so like even tho the song starts kind of bare we can go straight into that hype instrumental intro instead of like having only his solo be the intro and going straight into the more mellower verse or smth along those lines? hahaha i think on first listen the first thing that stood out to me was how the chorus sounded like an extension of the verse?  like the chorus wasnt very obvious and im not sure why in terms of like chord progression music theory, but in terms of instrumentation i think one of the reasons is because that driving quarter note drum thing we get in the chorus only resolves in the second half of the chorus instead of sometime in the first half of it. so it almost gives off this sense that we might be building up to something greater but we arent? really like all of this energy from the drums piling up for seemingly no reason and also the effect that it has on really accentuating the opening lines of the chorus dissipates imo the longer that drum rhythm plays out. like the whole “a page of beautiful youth” part that opens the chorus is mostly all quarter notes and i love how we have the quarter notes within the actual drum line to back that up but then two things after that happen: 1) we get i guess a reiteration of the opening melody in the chorus with the “let’s write it together” which i feel like having the drumming driving with those same quarter notes underneath it makes the intro of the chorus feel a bit less special and memorable? and 2) and after that line plays out, the melody becomes a bit more loose in in terms of its rhythm (the ‘i want to fill it with our memories’ part) the melody doesnt have those same impactful quarter notes anymore, but u still have the drum playing it so its kind of? like a why? at that point like i personally feel it takes away from the support it gives to the earlier melody that was obviously more driving quarter notes. i kind of wish that driving forward motion in the drumline was resolved within the third measure of the chorus with like a singular drum hit into the release (like going from here to something like here but with a drum hit in between as a transition or smth? hard to explain lks i actually had a made a video a while back kind of experimenting with the sound but idk how to upload it to here) but!! i am a fan of having those driving quarter notes coming out of the bridge i love the usage of it there and would not change a thing! i think it fits because we are actually building up to that release in the instrumental, it feels a lot different than the chorus which just feels like it drags on for a bit too long. but i would also would have liked if we had a bit of an instrumental pause or something like right after sungjin says ‘dont worry about a thing’ like after that ‘ma’ a brief pause or like even the omission of the downbeat that the drum is giving like /something/ missing before we get back into him singing ‘leave everything to me’ idk i feel like that change would have been interesting and way to build up tension again in a way?? anyways to circle back to my original point about the chorus feeling like an extension of the verse..i lowkey feel like maybe day6 felt that a bit too? laksdj and thats why we got that drum intermission bw the end of the prechorus and the start of the chorus but thats just a theory idk how true it is like honestly to me it felt slightly out of place and kind of a random transition? i dunno i could be wronghere are some misc. things not in too much detail since i think talking about one song has already gotten too long alksdj but sungjins part in the prechorus i think could have been sung a bit /gentler/ than his usual throaty approach for day6 songs idk. love the vocal layering in the chorus! maybe my headphones are terrible and maybe im biased (a bit of both or neither who knows) but laksdj i kinda wish youngks bass part was a tad bit louder he has some cool parts that often get overshadowed by the electric guitars + vocals i think (like here! the sound is so tiny in the studio i wish they had brought it out a bit more because when it is brought out it like here sounds gorgeous…that sound actually might be a bit overpowering actually haha but some happy balance bw those two). also totally random but i love the way jae says ‘한 페이지’ its just satisfying to listen to like he slurs the words a bit? whereas sungjin in his part is more staccato and lkj i think i prefer the legato connection of the words to the staccato one. also thank god they brought back the piano solo for the bridge laksjhow to love: SHE!! was a favorite/look out for since the album spoiler and she did not disappoint. wonpil said it was motown influenced? love that for them;; the chord progressions are funky and fun to listen out for! love how we get a bit of instrumental differences between the first and second reiteration of the first part of the verse?  (the introduction of this electric guitar kind of in ur left ear if ur wearing head phones thats not there initially but then also this part in the electric guitar in the right ear which isnt there also again in the first reiteration just to keep it different and not redundant! i love the prechorus, introduction of strings for chorus stellar (but im strings biased) but its just so fun to follow how its similar and different to the vocal melody also whats a day6 song without some sort of chanting! love how the rhythm in the melody follows the drum part into the chorus all three times that it happens! the bridge is funky love it haha and also just love how at the end they switch up the ‘cause im ready’ and have sungjin jae and wonpil each sing one of those and then have youngk end with the ‘ooooh’ i thought that was adorable. ok keeping it short thats all i’ll saywanna go back: not to be a svt stan but holiday is that you? hahah jkjk its just a similar genre its like holiday meets maroon 5 haha i actually enjoy a lot of the song the chord progressions in the verses are interesting but also the prechorus is really pretty sounding but lakjd i honestly wish the tempo was just a little bit faster in the chorus i feel like its dragging a bit its hard for me personally to stay engaged with the song because of the murky feeling i personally get from the chorus. also the transition into the second verse is kinda ?? idk ahahaha but yeah main thing is just i wish the tempo was even just the tiniest bit faster for the chorus specifically i feel like verses are fine but just the chorus could have afforded to been a bit faster…but maybe this is just a personal experience cover: this is my personal favorite from the album! musically i just love the sound of the chord progressions in the verses? also the chorus! she! the vocal melody how it goes down but then u hear that piano in the background go up *chefs kiss* art! and i love the changes in the instrumental they introduced for the second verse! they added the bass i believe as well as another electric guitar part that isnt that muted plucking thing that we got in the first verse! AND THEN THE BRIDGE!!!!!!! THAT!!! IS!! A!! BRIDGE!!!! its so stunning and incredibly climatic and beautifully executed!!! i believe thats the first time the drums proper actually come in can you believe it (there are percussion sounds before but i think its a tambourine + a shaker/maraca? essentially not the drumset);; the tension that just the introduction of drums really brings to the piece ahhh and also the chord progressions really take u for a ride the first time u hear it and u dont know what to expect;; and then we get out of the chorus with ‘because im weak and not cool’ as a deviance from the earlier lyrics of ‘my weak and not cool side’ then DRUMTRIPLET!!!!! LAST CHORUS!! MORE DRUM TRIPLETS!! so wonderful the pOWER really the whole song is a huge crescendo ?? kind of influenced by the fact that they keep layering instruments which i absolutely LOVE like its beautiful haha but then the last chorus is just the quickest decrescendo ever as a way to fade out from the song but now with all the instruments (love how the last line really like enforces its importance and lyrical difference from the earlier ‘in the end i was seen’ by having that drum just punch it into u with every hit of the bass drum haha) also like how its not a true circular ending (but it kinda is) like there are instrumental and lyrical differences from the start and the end one thing i kind of wished they experimented with was like maybe mixing up some members voices in the chorus? like i tried a youngpil one myself haha where wonpil sings this part, then youngk, wonpil, youngk (again i hve a video for this but idunno how to upload to this ask) but its not like the song to me suffered from having singular member choruses i just thought it might be kinda cool haha anywhos im biased i love this song and laksj didnt even go into the lyrics rip anyways moving onbest part: i think its really cute that they composed this to be specifically be enjoyed in concert! i really like the best paaaaaaaaa aaaart like that swoop they do and the layering of the vocals i also think its super cool how some of the instrumental drop out towards the end of the chorus but alskj another ‘wanna go back’ transition into the second verse are they experimenting with this transition or smth?? but it just feels like inserted bc they couldnt think of a better way to transition into second verse which?? just kind of awkward akjl idk but maybe they have a reason for it i dont know! but yeah haha again musically im not really sure what to say kinda like for me it just feels like standard pop rock which isnt a bad thing just a /thing/ ahaha 
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Text
Insomnia // Hwang Hyunjin [bulleted scenario!]
Summary: In which you and Hyunjin are both too oblivious to realize your true feelings... until it’s too late? 
Genre: angsty, floooof, gender neutral 
Word Count: 2175
Warnings: Just some cursing 
A/N: This is my first time writing a bulleted scenario and i quite enjoyed it :) idk it’s fun to not care about settings too much and punctuation and stuff. I also liked adding my own little dumb remarks here are there :PP it was fuN! This was another scenario that kinda arose while i was napping i hope you guys enjoy it! <3 i love stray kids 
i’m also gonna try to make all my scenarios gender neutral from now on (unless specifically requested) b/c we are all about inclusivity here !! :)
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This was originally gonna be like a real fic
But the writers block was REAL like i really tried to set the scene and everything
But it didn’t turn out right
And i really wanted to get this one out so HERE WE ARE TRYING THE BULLETED SCENARIO OKAY YAY LETS BEGIN!
Trainee au!! Kinda :D
Like skz didnt go through the survival show yet
Ok so SEtting thE SCeNe~~~~
You just walked into the jyp building bc jyp hired you as a new producer
Like to study under him and potentially help w producing in the future
Like jyp 2.0 ya know
Jyp meets w you himself bc you’re like a prodigy
And a foreigner so he thought you’d be more comfortable w him speaking toyou in english :D
So he explained what you gotta do during your training period
Like studying more about composition and production
Learning korean to more easily communicate w idols and what not
And also honing your own style and figuring out who you are as an artist
So he pairs you up w the trainees bc it be good practice
More specifically skz bc they seem to have a more flexible style
Also like he thought it would be good for you to work w chan and the rest of 3racha
Like bc yall around the same age
And it helps you become more comfy
And familiar w the company and the producing rooms and recording studios and what no
Like
Yer
And then like
Through working w them to produce a song for the trainee showcase
Yall get mad close
And like
You have your eyes on hyunjin from the start
Like bc who couldn’t
Like
Gorgeous boy
At first you were just like “this is admiration”
“He very handsome i just admire his features”
Yeah
And maybe it was..
At first
Now it's a full blown crush
Like
For real
That boy is so hard working
Like you constantly see him asking for help
So he can improve
And like
People always said he was a visual only
Which made you feel bad that you saw that at first 
But you realized later
That like
You actually like him bc of his personality
What a hard worker 
For real
Angel
Anyways
Little did you know that your crush was NOT one sided
Hyunjin admired your hard work in producing
And how you always took criticism well and only worked to improve your work
Also
He thought you were hella cute
So yall were both kinda obvious
Him more than you
Like by a loT
So skz knew for a fact that hyunjin was head over heels in love w you so they pushed him to confess to you
Yeah he was like no
But after PEEr pRessUre
He finally agreed
They was gonna plan something like a party for you
To celebrate the time you’ve been w the company
But the showcase came before the celebration and suddenly they were on a survival show to see who would debut
So the party was postponed OOOODDDDD
But you didnt even know it was gonna happen so you didnt mind anyways
Soon enough it got closer to your birthday, and skz just decided to make it a birthday celebration instead
Hyunjin was more iffy about confessing bc what if you dont feel the same and he ruins your bday oh no
But at this point, skz was sure you liked him back so they were like dont worry about that they aren’t like that your relationship will be fine
So the party happens ladida
You were super surprised and sosososososo happy
Bc like
Your hart
These boys were precious and totally made your day
Tbh bc of your work
You almost forgot it was your birthday
After the crazy loud party, you wanted to like take some quiet time for yourself so you excused yourself
And then walked to the hallway and sat by the window and looked out at the city and the night sky
Beautiful
And suddenly you heard footsteps
It was this boy named jason who you were friends with
He was from the same town you were from so you got close p quickly when you first got to jyp
And jason had a not-so-secret crush on you
That ofc you were oblivious to
But he came over there to spend time w you and wish you happy bday
Little did you know
Hyunijn was mentally preparing himself to confess to you down the hall and around the corner w a pretty bouquet of flowers what a sweet boy
And when he finally works up the courage, he turns the corner and sees jason giving you a bday hug 
And he cant help but feel his hart drop
Yall look good together and like you were from the same town so similarities
So he was heartbroken needless to say
 He quickly turned around and walked away
But you heard the footsteps and saw just a glance of his outfit retreating
You excused yourself from jason’s company and ran after him bc you are so in love w this boy
You were gonna hug him and thank him, but when you approached he took a step back
Like ow
That hurt
He quickly stammered that he had to go home bc he was tired and left
He was hiding the flowers behind his back :’(
And then tossed them as soon as he left the building
He went for a long ass walk to clear his mind and soothe his aching heart
You were so worried
Was he okay?
You went home soon after bc you couldnt help but worry and that made you super tired
But you couldn't sleep
InsOMniA
Goddamn it hyunjin
You messaged him
“you’re prob sleeping but i hope you feel better”
Dry ass reply: “thx”
Like wow
Rude
But you let it go
jic he was actually really exhausted
You knew he took criticism from the show too so maybe it was that
Hopefully he’d talk to you about it bc he usually did
But he didn't
He avoided you
Your heart really couldnt take it
Meanwhile you and jason got closer bc you didnt have hyunjin to hang out w anymore
Despite your many efforts
And this just further fuels his belief that yall are together
So to ignore the tinge in his heart every time he saw you, he buried himself in practice
Didn't sleep
Didnt drink enough water
Didnt eat enough
He was getting dangerously skinny and unhealthy
And it affected his attitude
Not only to you but to his members
One day you were asked to come in and monitor a recording session
And he was happy and giggly in front of the camera
But as soon as it turned off u could see the fatigue
And you told him that he should take better care of himself
And he SNAPPEd at you
 You actually flinched bc he was so aggressive
Your heart SHATTEREd
And you, also sleep deprived as FUCk
Slapped him
Not super hard, but like a “what the fuck is wrong with you”
And you walked right out, not even bothering to hide your tears
And he was sad but he thought that you hating him would help him get over you
What a dumb boy
You completely avoided him after that
You also still had restless nights 
God that convo kept playing over and over in your head
YOU COULDNT SLEEP
But one day you got a call from chan
He needed your help
Hyunjin was seriously overworking himself and he was afraid hyunjin was gonna collapse
Luckily you were still at the company working on smth bc ofc you couldn't sleep anyways so might as well make use of your time
So you finally agree bc even if you’re still angry at him, you are srsly worried about this boy
And when you get to the dance room your heart breaks all over again
Hes so pale
And sickly looking
And hes shaking but hes still dancing
You knock and hear a gruff “its open”
The music pauses for a moment but when he sees its you he scoffs and turns it back on
“what do you want”
“Uhm.. are you okay?”
“Why? You wanna slap me again to make me feel better?”
Ofc you rolled your eyes bc wtf hyunjin you were being nice
“I dont even know why i bothered”
You go over to the stereo and turn it off yourself
And he turns to you angry
ARGUMENT TIME
Him: “WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?”
“MY PROBLEM?!!!?!?? YOU’RE THE ONE WHO PUSHED ME AWAY FOR NO DAMN REASON!! AND EVEN AFTER ALL THAT, I STILL TRIED TO BE NICE AND ASK IF YOU WERE OKAY. I WAITED FOR YOU TO OPEN UP TO ME. TO TALK TO ME ABOUT WHATEVER WAS BOTHERING YOU!”
At this point, you’re practically sobbing like udk if he can understand you but who cares
All this frustration that was pent up inside felt good being released
Bc at this point, you had nothing more to lose
Hyunjin already hated you so like why not just speak your mind amirite
 Anyways continuing w the dialogue:
“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY PROBLEM WHEN MY PROBLEM IS YOU!”
Cue awkward pause/break thing (AWKwARD SiLEncE)
“What are you talking about hyunjin?”
He sighed defeatedly
It was now or never. He felt like his relationship w you was ruined already anyways
So he, like you, also had a ‘what do i have to lose’ mentality
“I was going to confess to you y/n. That night at your birthday party. But i was too late. I saw you with jason and you looked so happy and perfect together.  So i left. I cut my ties with you because i didn’t want my own feelings to get in the way of your happiness.”
You were completely utterly speechless
Like there were an overwhelming number of feelings enveloping you atm
Bc on the one hand:
The love of your life just confessed to you
But on the other
Like
What a dumbass
You end up laughing and scoffing at his words bc
Hes so dumb
You dont like jason
God you’ve been in love w hyunjin for so goddamn long
And now you’re debating over how to respond
But like your anger and frustration kinda takes precedence bc youre also sleep deprived and you go
“ so, you broke your own heart and then you broke mine because you didn’t want to talk to me about it you dumbass ????”
And he gives you that classic confused puppy-dog look
W the head tilt and everything
And you go
“Hwang hyunjin, i’m fucking in love with you”
And he just stares blankly at you and blinks like 8 times trying to comprehend what just came out of your mouth
And his lips form an ‘o’ shape
And then hes coming closer and wrapping his arms around you
And you dont even mind that hes still sweaty and kinda smelly
Bc hes finally in your arms
But holding him so close also makes you super aware of just how skinny he’s gotten
Like it was worse than you thought
So you pull back and you open your mouth to chastise him
But before you can even start he’s cupping your cheeks can pulling your face to his
Your lips collide and then they're molding into one another
And your mind kinda blanks out
But your automatic reaction seems to be letting your fingers run through his hair and pulling him closer towards you
And when yall finally come up for breath
He tries to go in for another one like immediately after
Like slow your roll boy you guys can kiss all you want later
If you said that out loud, he wouldve responded w something like “we gotta make up for lost time”
But you put your hands on his chest and hold him back
And he pouts
(you almost squeal at how cute he looks)
“Ok, now that we’re dating, i am literally commanding you to take better care of yourself because this,” you eye him up and down, “is unacceptable”
And he quirks an eyebrow up and is like
Oh? I don’t recall asking you out? On a date?”
And you get all blushing and become a blubbering mess and hide your face in his chest like
“Shut up hyunjin”
But he’s just giggling at your embarrassed face :D
Then, him being the dramatic hoe that he is, he gets down on one knee in front of you and says
“y/n, y/l/n, will you go out on a date with me?”
And ofc u say yes
And after that whole dramatic scene, you pull him out of the practice room, fingers intertwined, ready to stuff him with food
And he goes
“I dont think i said it back.”
“Said what back?”
“That i love you”
UWU
And the rest is history
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camisaido · 5 years
Text
alrightttt new hq chapter lets gbro
immediate nice 
as hinata and bo stand like that all cool with the jackets 
‘hey bro how do we look”
‘ur wearing ur jackets wrong dickweed’
“fuck u man”
smoking area fuck u ukai
take that poison stick outta ur mouth right the fuck now
huh ??? some mattsun-like guy’s waving at kageyama ive forgotten who he is
ugh that kourai twink
is he a twink tho pls debate with me on this
kageyama waiting for hinatas trademarked ‘uwaaaa!! oooH im not gonna lose !!” response
“yeah!”
hehehe kourai kun
“for someone who hates being called little u sure do like the phrase little giant a lot”
I was waiting for him to get pissy the way noya does
my respect for him is grudgingly rising I will concede
welp he still kicked him the way yaku does to lev so everythings the way it usually is
wouldn't be hq if the shorty doesn't kick his asshole tall friend ammright
hah kourais p chill actually
nope there it is he stared intensely at hinata
“hey kageyama”
hes so cute aww
HAH hinata
‘do u end every sentence with dumbass is that ur thing like the naruto believe it shit‘
‘switch it up say nyan”
what the fuck all the teammates family is sitting together
holy fuck
shes crying taketoras adorable sister is crying
SAEKO OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE YOU SAEKO
shes so perfect 
shes just being all chill and ‘cheers” and 
u can see akiteru blushing a lil
no im not seeing what I want to see tf r u on abt
and nekoma
kuro and daishou: see eachother
*kuro voice* “ah”
*daishou voice* “ah”
stage whispers ‘hes even taller up close!!” ah mika-chan.
stage whispers “nah its just his rooster hair that makes him seem taller”
“yknow I can hear u right”
“....”
“......”
“WELCOME TO THE LOSING SIDE!!!!”
OHHHH SICK BURN DAISHOU 
his face im crying 
and kuro looks like his soul is ascending for a second before he snaps back
“hey can someone snap a pic of his face im gonna send it to mika-chan”
OOOOOHH damnnnn
“its not a big deal nothing to cry over, after all only one team was gonna win. you didnt honestly think it would be you did you” 
oh fuck u daishou
“... thats true. theres not many people out there who’d believe 100% they could win”
“ugh stop its no fun taunting u when u get like this”
“.. the truth is none of this had to do with weather u could win”
oh shits abt to get real
“its not like we quit just because we lost. we dont play to win.  I know that you shit!”
“..oh daishou-kun what a potty mouth I should get a voice recording”
*yaku* ‘u were the one tryna piss us off why r u getting pissy now”
“OH SHUT UP U DUMBASSES” *flips them off*
ooo
* mika voice* u done
*claps* mika ily u and yaku are the only normal people here
wow daishou switched around completely “ah yes when did u get here lets go get lunch uwu”
kuro “what is wrong with him”
yaku “wow hes a fun guy”
kai “huhu” (wtf kai)
ah kenmas here!! light of my life! my sun and stars!!!!
kais so cool omg
“maybe belief isn't the right word kuroo”
*panel turns to bokuto, hinata and kageyama*
“there are people who are crazy about victory”
bokutos jumping in the air im love
ugh I dont like that top three spiker guy
*damn you bokuto* 
yeah I rly dont like him who thinks ‘damn you bokuto” bokuto is amazing
oh wow hes overanalyzing his interaction with bo
“by acting like that” like he always is, excitable and hyper and adhd, “was he trying to establish dominance and fluster me? did i seem overwhelmed”
LMAO
that sounds so wrong
“wakatsu-san do u have something on ur mind thats bothering you?”
!haah?? “SOMETHING BOTHERING ME?? NO WAY IN HELL!!”
wtf man 
someones got big dick issues
or smth
oh this usuri guy’s cute ! hes being all sweet like
“ok then! im sure you’ll be as amazing as you always are!!” ooo someone has a crush uwu
“of-of course I am!!” hehehe its mutual I see 
ship
akaashis watching like “should I be more complementary of bokuto-san???”
bokutos turn to shineee
“ALRIGHT GUYSS! WHOO LETS GOO”
ahh the guys from the training camp r cheering him on 
kuro and kenma watching fondly from the stands
‘fucking fantastic u funky lil wing spiker”
‘haha”
“look at that bitch look at him go”
akaashi picks up bos discarded jacket for the nth time with a longsuffering expression on his face
thats all folks subscribe for more hq yelling every friday 
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saportuh · 6 years
Text
ok panic concert highlights
(plus some personal adventures)
this was the portland show on the 12th k
so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic
we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)
so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit
befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.
we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH
THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;
OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS
arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.
HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha
ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair
“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time
k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v
SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT 
her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be
during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)
most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional
then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk
THEN PANIC CAME OUT 
WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH
KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE
THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR
ok several things about breb
one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds
two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.
three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician. 
four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity
ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol
HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao
i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)
hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals
and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty
nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao
golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die
k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do
I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE
during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it
SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK
speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose
he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM
sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao
o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life
AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn
RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING
legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH
also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw
the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh
but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was
ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk
fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was
once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf” 
legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for. 
i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.
also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.
OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG
he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds
G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS
AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE
breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.
after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;
also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl
nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)
ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao
anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful
he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo
NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY
drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit
fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop
there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME” 
UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell
the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now
lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy
during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb
at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS
FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.
a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful
THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN
i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho
I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS
BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE
bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch
SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY, 
in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass
my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???
us: W H O R E bden: ily
VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO
they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live
he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;
i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic
oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow. 
he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao
CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;
so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao
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3rachad-archive · 6 years
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i hope this doesn't come off as rude ndksnsls but ive seen that you've remade a few times, is everything okay?
omg not rude at all!!! 
mm, i think in total- this is my 4th time remaking? so you’re right! it’s definitely been a few times now um :( i know it can be annoying- and i apologize to those ppl who feel like they HAVE to follow me or feel burdensome when i do this fjfdfkslfksf mm i’ll explain the whole thing under a cut (which doesn’t really work on mobile but jfjfkafejoew) bc i think it might get. long.
edit: ok so i didnt proofread bc its like 11 pm and im tired and ; __ ; pls forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes- i think the gist of what i’m saying comes through… 
mm, the first few times i remade were for the sake of organization? like from my VERY first (kpop) blog to the second one, i remade bc i felt that i was stanning too many groups and it was just super multifandom and super messy and it made me anxious having all of that there in a clutter
the second time i remade it was cause i felt that blog was lacking and i wasn’t really contributing to anything and i was trying to get rid of some toxic mutuals :// 
um the third time………. i think i just again: needed a fresh start bc i had a bunch of mutuals that made me uncomfortable and i didn’t want anyone to find me necessarily so i gfkjgsojgsoeser just ghosted my account n remade bc i needed it for my anxiety :( n i lost a lot of old mutuals on purpose 
um then this remake!!! hnnhfnjgfgf ok :( theres been a lot going on personally… hnngngiwoe its kinda split into two reasons: 
1) the lesser reason: i dropped out of a uni at the end of my first year and then went to apply to a new one and its been fucking hell like every where i turn smth else goes wrong. i’ll solve one problem and thensmth else happens. its so stressful and disgusting how much crap i’ve emotionally been through… and that blog pretty much chronicles ALL of those 2 months of panic and depression and such bad thoughts about myself and i just need to get AWAY from it 
2) the more pressing reason: its really quite frustrating and i think i’ve explained it before- but ive just found that nctzens have become a little too much for me. just everything about that fandom makes me so incredibly stressed and anxious and i’m not happy coming onto tumblr- and that’s not the point?? like tumblr is supposed to be fun and you’re supposed to be able to make stuff and enjoy yourself??? like… it shouldn’t fucking feel like a job or some kind of commitment. but nctzens have kinda just turned everything into a competition and they make everything abt popularity and followers and they act so mean to each other and their biases and say stuff that i find kinda :// and to just top it all off i just find that more and more of them are using their “platform” and “audience” (for lack of better wording) to start witch hunts… like they’ll “call out” users and say things that are just fucking disgusting and when theyre followers go and attack that user they dont take ANY credibility or think that it could’ve been their actions. they act so innocent and it just… it just frustrates me. 
its in my dfi/byf- but like if you’re not willing to discuss something with me when we get into an argument/disagree upon something, i dont think you should be following me. i find it incredibly childish for ppl to go and “”shade”” someone on their blog and talk shit about that person to their mutuals and make all of these ppl hate someone. its so senseless… i’ve never understood bringing personal drama up with ppl who have nothing to do with it… 
i also find that nctzens don’t understand the concept of “opinions” ??? like they act as if smth someone says is like. law. and they don’t think for 0.5 seconds before they go attacking ppl for saying “i think this song isn’t that good”… like, opinions aren’t right or wrong… theyre just opinions… some opinions can be ill informed or kinda universally s t u p i d - but there’s no such thing as a wrong opinion because …. inherently… opinions are just… beliefs we make upon information we have……….. ???? 
idk :( its just become too much for me to handle- when i started posting a little bit more of stray kids- which were one of my ults for a while- i got hate telling me i was a fake nctzen and that i would have my nctzen card revoked… like i’ve never taken that stuff seriously- but it fucking SUCKS to constantly be told youre not a “good enough fan” like… dood.. there is no such thing… kpoppies have invented this kinda ride or die culture where they lay down their lives for their favs and like i g e t i t - but like… lmao… ppl have lives they have things to do?? this is why streaming and voting and all of that stuff gets so frustrating and anxiety raising- because we’re made to feel like we HAVE to do it or we’re a bad fan?? like nahhhh that doesn’t fucking matter !! i get it goes towards their achievements and etc but also like put your fucking life first man… do those other things when you have TIME and ENERGY
all of this was ruining nct for me and i didnt need that negativity :( i love nct and i love johnny but i just need space :( the same thing happened to me when i liked bts so… i just dont want it to make me sad when i see them… you know? 
anyway- i’m sorry this got so fucking long and i’m just ranting at this point abt smth that probably you weren’t looking for but… like
tldr: everything was not okay, everything is very carefully balanced on a precarious edge !! mentally i just need to be in a place i can CONSIDER my safe place. i’m doing alright mostly, just anxious a little bit… and jfwifiawioefawe you probably weren’t looking for this dumb ass essay…. but…… yeah………. im sorry- and honestly? thank you for asking… idk :( its sweet 
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realmzenith · 6 years
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benke !!!!!!
u truly want me dead but ily so- BUT OK BENKE my meme child
What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?.2 seconds i hate him. if he HAD to sit still and he was feeling slightly more chill than usual he could prbly go five minutes. tops. he’s just rlly antsy. he needs to be doing smth w his hands
How easy is it for your character to laugh?EH not super easily but defo more easily than a lot of my other ocs from one to ten one being laughs extremely easily he’s prbly a 4. the key is to find him memes esp political nihilistic memes or fall in front of him bc he’s terrible
How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)he doesn’t sleep. e v e r. who do u think he is?? nah jk on a more serious note, he actually doesn’t sleep very easily so usually he just listens to music until he dozes off
How easy is it to earn their trust?gosh that’s. difficult to say. p hard actually?? surprisingly hard for how much of a meme he acts like and how relatively extroverted he is. from one to ten w one meaning it’s very easy to gain his trust i’d say 7
How easy is it to earn their mistrust?he doesn’t rlly attach himself to ppl easily so it’s p easy to get him to not trust u. like he’ll be chill w u but he wont trust u all that much it’s a weird dynamic w him. w one being v easy to get him to distrust and ten very hard, he’s a 5. p much in the middle not rlly too much to one side or another
Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?rules are great until they impede him from getting what he’s aimin for :) on a more serious note, he doesn’t rlly give a damn abt most laws like he doesn’t want to go to jail but at the same time if he’s not going to get caught he’s going to do it bc hey wtf yolo
What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?LOL NOSTALGia thats a joke he dislikes sappy things n nostalgia falls into that category but he will on v v rare occasions reminisce. certain musical pieces have that effect on him esp the classical ones as he’s grown up w music (being a practical prodigy on the piano and all). he guesses that sometimes it is kind of nice to remember. just once in a while tho. in a while being the key phrase here
What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?I MEAN he’s sixteen he’s still technically a child but basically the most common thing he hears is stop slacking and work harder. being an asian kid getting As is? absolutely crucial he’ll be smacked upside the head by his parents if he doesn’t so they always tell him to stop slacking tf off n actually study for once (tbh it’s fine he’s a genius practically he gets As easier than u can say banana split)
Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?absolutely and he doesn’t rlly remember but he thinks it was “shit”
What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?once he set out twenty peeps just behind the wheels of his mom’s car and when she backed out the entire wheels got covered in peeps and when she came home saying there was all this weird gooey stuff on her wheels and looked pointedly at him. he just blurted out that it was god exacting judgement on her for her sins. it didn’t end well. he ended up washing the entire car by himself. it still haunts him to this day
How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?he’ll literally just say “what the fuck” and laugh
How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?whine about it until someone scratches it for him dependent on how comfy he is around the ppl he’s with. if he’s not comfy around the ppl he’s w he’ll just sulk internally or scurry off to the bathroom and like, rub his back (presumptively that’s where he can’t reach) against the edge of the stall until the itch is gone bc he’s high
What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?he thinks he looks best in all colors also he doesn’t rlly care abt fashion. he looks best in HM like purple or royal blue?? 
What animal do they fear most?he has this weird fear of armadillos and no one knows why it has smth to do w an incident at the zoo when he was six
How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?he honestly doesn’t say everything that comes to mind even tho it SOUNDS like he does but he also. basically says everything that comes to mind. it’s odd bc he ends up being rlly engaging in conversation anyways. however he isnt immune to being at a loss for words and when he’s under pressure he will stumble a lil thru what he’s saying. but most of the time what u hear is what he’s thinkin
What makes their stomach turn?ok he’s not SUPER big abt justice or anything like that but if someone’s being torn down he’ll get rlly uncomfy unless he’s the one who initiated it bc he’s like hey hey haha guys dont say that abt them. also he dislikes roly polys w a passion bc they remind him of armadillos :)
Are they easily embarrassed?on one hand he has no shame on the other he does get p flustered if ppl flirt w him and it hits a spot (in a good way)? like he does get embarrassed moderately easily but it takes him a few seconds to realize he should be embarrassed if u get me
What embarrasses them?flirting, if u get a well aimed compliment in that he didn’t expect. also realizing he’s made a fool of himself bc that oftentimes happens but he also rarely realizes it so if he REALIZES he’s made a fool of himself he will get flustered
What is their favorite number?420 duh
If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?he’d be like wtf why r u asking me this but if someone he does trust and is close to asked him he’d try his best to give a serious answer after a bout of awkward laughing to make sure they were serious. prbly like “familial love and platonic love are the same thing basically right? i guess platonic love is how u love ur friends so yk brofists and shit and then romantic love is more? special? idk it’s fucking great tho *fingers guns at sev*”
Why do they get up in the morning? his mom makes him get up for school otherwise what is leaving his bed when he can just pull his comp onto his lap while STAYING in his bed and game from there
How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? oh he’s very possessive. he’ll defo keep whatever he’s worried abt losing close by to start and if it’s a person- friend or s/o- he’s going to be touching them a lot more. a hand on the back, a hug at the side, running his hands through their hair casually. anything to assert that no back off ur not taking them from me. but if it continues, which it v well may, knowing him, he’s going to start getting snarky n verbally fighting the other person. basically Messy pls reassure him if u are the object of his affections and he’s getting side-eye emoji abt someone 
How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? he defo becomes resentful a bit. like he doesn’t get envious over most things- it’s mostly fear of losing the thing once he has it- but when it does he will get resentful and hole up a bit and generally just seem a little ticked
Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?yeah he’s comfy talking abt sex. prbly a little too comfy. so basically anyone willing to engage him in the conversation topic will likely hear abt it but he’s calmed down ever since he got involved w sev
What are their thoughts on marriage?marriage is good? but far off and amorphous in his mind. for the most part he’s like there’s nothing wrong w it but it crosses his mind EXTREMELY infrequently   
What is their preferred mode of transportation? preferably in the back of a private plane, squirrel suit gliding or on a giant eagle, none of which he’s ever experienced in his life. but out of the things he has he is fond of sailing when it’s calm out bc he does get seasick a tiny bit. he likes fast cars too
What causes them to feel dread? his mother :) she may be small but she is Frightening
Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? he doesnt rlly give a damn so lie most of the time but at the same time if he cares abt the thing and he’s asking u abt it pls do urself a favor and tell him the truth. it’s what he prefers and it’s rare anyways that he actually asks after smth
Do they usually live up to their own ideals? nope. he wants to win a nobel prize, publish a meme compilation book, become a world class pianist, go to pluto- u get the idea. ya boi has many high hopes for himself which he’s not rlly meeting atm. he’s a little all over the place, so despite his many talents he isn’t quite living up to the ideal version of himself he’s seeking after and prbly never will it’ll be very hard to get him to admit this not bc he’s an edgelord or smth but it’s hard to get him to talk abt deeper things but he does sincerely want to be a good moral person which dependent on the day and his level of seriousness he may or may not be living up to in his own eyes as well as in the eyes of others. what can i say he’s kind of a hoe
Who do they most regret meeting? life…. when life’s hand touched upon his little heart and gave him the gift of herself he immediately was filled w Ragret- on a more serious note it’s prbly the armadillo from the zoo
Who are they the most glad to have met? sev? he also adores his piano teacher but good luck getting him to admit that w heartfelt sincerity 
Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? it’s honestly whatever’s the most recent thing he observed, heard or experienced when it comes to stories. he has no shortage of words to say and his fav sort of memes and jokes are politically nihilistic ones. so those are? in a way his go to?
Could they be considered lazy? yes. he only applies himself if he’s interested and for most of school he has no qualms abt being a lil sus and casually “accidentally” getting the answers to things so yeah that’s. that could be considered lazy. however, when he does care abt smth he will absolutely dedicate himself to it. he practices piano consistently and diligently day in and day out so it honestly depends on if he cares or not
How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? v difficult. he rarely becomes guilty for longer than .4 seconds but when it does he’s srsly going to internalize that bc if he’s feeling guilty he prbly f-ed up real bad. he also won’t rlly talk abt it to anyone so it’s even more likely it’ll just get internalized 
How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? that’s extremely dependent on who it is and what it is. if it’s sev he’ll b v supportive but sev is a VERY big exception in most cases also sev rarely gets visibly excited abt things so it’s usually a cause for celebration when he does. if josie (his bff) is excited abt smth? if he can relate he’ll be excited for her but if he can’t he’ll TRY his best but there will be some teasing involved bc that’s how he diffuses confusion. their other bff will get the same treatment but w slightly more effort bc she’s more sensitive but gosh if it’s someone he doesn’t know rlly well he’ll be rlly confused he’ll be like good for u ha?? or someone he knows casually. they’ll get teased so he tries but he also sucks at life. for such a great analyst he’s terrible at being socially delicate
Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap? tbh prbly actively seek it. he defo pursued sev before they got together
Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? he doesn’t rlly give a damn abt ppl’s names but if it’s say a piano piece it’s honestly just cold, hard repetition 
What memory do they revisit the most often? he doesn’t reminisce often hes a p go go go type of guy but if he does it’s prbly abt sev. neither of them voice it often but they’re both rlly grateful for the other
How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? see, he’s kind of oblivious he doesn’t rlly think abt these things but when something annoys him? oh it annoys him and he’s going to make no effort to hide it or ignore it. so he’s honestly rlly bad at ignoring other ppl’s flaws. he’s a bit of a b like that 
How sensitive are they to their own flaws?very
How do they feel about children? no particular opinion! he’s the younger sib by quite a bit so he’s always been kind of the baby. he thinks kids are fine and he’s actually p good w them but he’d prefer to not babysit or anything like that. there are better more enjoyable things he could be doing w his time. as for having kids he almost never thinks abt that so he’s got no opinion there either. what happens happens after all
How badly do they want to reach their end goal? he doesn’t particularly have One End Goal but he has many aspirations and if he cares abt smth he will do everything in his power to reach it at least within reason. so p badly relatively speaking? 
If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? he’s bi so if someone asked him to explain it he’d be like “it means idc what someone’s gender is when it comes to whether i want to fuck or not ;)” yes i hate him too
QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS
A) Why are you excited about this character?MEME KING but also i’m excited to try and work out the balance between apathy, drive and subtle but very much present care for the ppl around himB) What inspired you to create them?i need a best friend for the main chara of the story benke is a part of! additionally, he shares a lot of character traits w an irl friend of mine so it’s a bit of a nod to themC) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?nope! benke was created for the purpose of filling a role tho honestly he’s spun a wild story for himself somehow looking @ u sevD) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?i must admit benke does NOT have a set appearance as of the present. he’s afab nb and does nothing to present as more masculine than he naturally appears. he’s indian, 5′4″ and he’s got short hair w highlights but beyond that i’m still working out his appearance E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?yes on a surface level to both. we’d meme together but at a deeper level we wouldn’t make good close friends. benke’s brand of caring for ppl is nearly opposite to mine and bc we’re already both unconventional in how we show we care abt someone we’d prbly both end up feeling neglected. there’d be a lot of miscommunication and honestly, ya boi would get on my nerves n i’d prbly get on hisF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?TIRED he TIRES me but also a bit of pride bc he’s growinG) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?where do i begin. prbly how he’s unintentionally self centered. benke is far from uncaring abt his friends he will do crazy stupid brave things for them if it ever came to that but it’s hard for him to see why some of the things he says hurt other ppl’s feelings esp if they’re diff from him. he’ll be like ?? why u offended i didn’t say anything mean. he’s also RLLY bad at handling serious emotions even when they sometimes do need to be dealth wH) What trait do you admire most?HM prbly his knack for being a great conversationalist. ppl like him even if he isn’t the most popular bc he’s funny and p chill. he doesn’t have too much drama so it’s like hey there’s the meme guy even tho he’s kinda weird and tbh goals. being a good conversationalist can get u places and ease up SO many social situationsI) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?PRBLY but also i think he’d do rlly well in a sci fi universe eyes emojiJ) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?nah not rlly?? not yet at least ! 
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