#i feel like i always wondered why i struggled to see him as a bias and now im just like

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Leonardo: Now, the recipe calls for 2 shots of vodka.

Dazai: *upends the bottle*

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp leo #ikevamp dazai #let it be known that #1. these two should never be left unsupervised #2. these two should never be left to gang up on poor mozart (rip amadi taken from us too soon by shenanigans) #3. these two should never. EVER. cook together #the result will either be the tastiest thing in the world #or something fit to send you to outer space (and i. do not mean the fun way i mean the 'what dimension are we in?????' way) #i also love how with this one i don't even see leo being mad that fker would be like #'finally none of that weak sauce two drops of alcohol. i wanna get TRASHED' #while everyone else (except maybe arthur) looks on in dismay #leonardo there's gotta be a better coping mechanism--no squeezing mc's ass like a stress ball is not a valid coping mechanism-- #(she said. like a LIAR--) #also man can i just say after reaching Dazai's rt ch.15 #upending a whole ass bottle of vodka is a hard MOOD #i feel like i always wondered why i struggled to see him as a bias and now im just like #'of course i know him. he's me' meme #there's only room for one evasive clown in this house and its ME #although to be fair i do think i qualify more as a jester #alas what can a mfer do but meme and be strong for mother (comte) #source: incorrect quote generator

[hisui-dreamer]

hi hi!!! i hope you're doing well :D !!! i really really love how you write the octatrio (ESPECIALLY AZUL BC BIAS YK) and i was wondering if i could request some headcanons for the octatrio with a s/o that has an acts of service love language? no pressure ofc, you're never obligated to write anything <3 thank you for all the lovely writing you're shared so far!!! i am in loves w the way you portray azul btw have i gushed abt your characterization enough yet WHAHWHAHWA <333

at your service

Characters: Octavinelle (Azul, Jade, Floyd)

Synopsis: how he is with an acts of service lover

Tags: fluff, fish shenanigans, bot proofread

Word count: 885

Notes: @azulashengrottospiano auburnn! here's your very belated wedding gift! congrats on becoming mrs. ashengrotto <3 i hope you like it!

Masterlist

let's be real, he is too dense to know you're showing affection

he's like playing 4D chess in his head thinking about why you keep helping him with tasks???

do you want something from him?? he will pay you handsomely?

wait you don't want pay??? seriously he's tries so hard to think about how you might benefit from helping him, but this octopus never considers you're doing it out of affection

he keeps finding ways to repay you or see if there's a contract you're working under

it's only until one of the tweels point out that you seem to be in love with him, that the realisation hits him like a cauldron to the head

after that, he starts returning your affections by helping you with anything you might need, tutoring, miscellaneous duties Crowley threw your way, etc., or just throwing gifts at your direction

he'll walk into his office ready for another day of work only to find that you've already sorted out most of the paperwork for him

there's a lovestruck smile on his face as he plans what he could do in return or get you as a gift

he finds it so odd that he'd do anything for you, and not expect you to do anything in return

oh how far the businesses man has fallen

Azul's voice, soft and sincere, carries a touch of gratitude as he addresses you. "Angelfish, I am truly grateful for your help with the mountain of paperwork," he says. A smile, warm and affectionate, dances upon his lips as he continues, his voice infused with a hint of excitement. "As a token of my gratitude, would you like to join me for dinner tonight? It's on me," he offers.

jade's a bit confused when you start offering your help to him, but it doesn't take long for him to understand you're doing it out of affection

he might feel a bit obliged to return the favour, so sometimes he'll refuse your help

but he can't deny how endearing it is when you offer to take care of his mushrooms when he's too busy at work

or when you join him on hikes to help him find whatever mushroom is in season

he's very much used to taking care of people around him, with him basically acting as a secretary to Azul, and always having to act as the more reasonable twin in comparison to Floyd

you make him feel seen in a way and he finds himself smiling unconsciously when he sees you trying to help him in whatever way you can

he finds himself wanting to rely on you more, while also reaching out to you in concern when he sees you're struggling with something

he's so glad to be offering his services to you

sometimes you take up shifts in the Mostro Lounge when Jade's also working to alleviate some of the work on his shoulders

it's not obvious to others, but he works more efficiently and there's a slight smile on his face

he loves the simple connection the two of you have, having a great dynamic that plays off great when working together

"We make quite a nice pair, don't we?" Jade's voice comes from behind. You turn to see him, a gentle smile on his face that feels more genuine thank the usual he shows. "It's always a joy when I'm working alongside you. Thank you so much for offering your assistance," he says, before reaching for your hand and placing a kiss on it, his eyes piercing and never looking away from yours.

this eel loves that you're offering to do work for him!

most of the time he's doing his duties purely out of obligation and complaining the whole while

so if you offer to do it for him, he'll be elated and run off to do whatever he's in the mood for

definitely takes your willingness to help him for granted and starts asking you to do his work for him

jade will tell him not to be too spoiled with his demands though

and if he sees you're overworked or upset while working he'll whisk you away from whatever is hurting you

wraps his arms around you and squeezes you, apologising that he's been too irresponsible

his affection for you grows so unexpectedly, but with you were always there for him, willing to lend him a hand, he found himself always in a good mood when you were around

he'll return your affection with lots of squeezes, random gifts that reminded him of you, and he's always willing to help you if you need a hand

this eel can be very efficient when he's determined and motivated, so you'll see the best of him when he's actually doing tasks for you

"Shrimpy!" Floyd exclaims as he catches sight of you. He envelopes you in his arms, squeezing gently while mushing his cheek into the top of you head. "I'm sorry I gave you so much work," he murmurs softly, his voice laced with sincerity and regret. In a swift motion, he lifts you effortlessly off the ground, cradling you in his arms as if you were the most precious treasure in the world. "Let's ditch work and go on a date!"

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

#twstnexus #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst imagines #octavinelle #twisted wonderland jade #jade leech #jade leech x reader #twisted wonderland azul #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #twisted wonderland floyd #floyd leech #floyd leech x reader

[mint-yooxgi]

{3} - Written in the Stars - Yandere!Idol!Yeosang X Tall!Chubby!Reader

Soft Yandere AU & Idol AU

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Slight Humor, Slow Burn

Pairing: Yeosang X Reader (ft. platonic Ateez ensemble)

Words: 11,000

Warnings: Slow burn. Mentions of Jonghyun. Brief conversation to start about past insecurities. I think that's all. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: So, this chapter we get to see a little bit of how our dear Yeosangie is feeling. I'm doing my best not to make it a super sudden infatuation, but the feelings are there. Boy just doesn't want to admit it yet. That being said, I am super excited for a scene I have planned next chapter, so I hope you'll all look forward to it!! On a side note, I finally got my glasses!! Yay!! Anyways, as always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~

Also, gentle reminder that I don’t do tag lists.

Disclaimer: It's not often this chapter where this applies, but the following is important to note:

"This represents a line spoken in Korean."

"Bolded represents a line spoken in English."

"Bolded and italics represents a line spoken in Japanese."

Mini Masterlist - Part One - Part Two

Yeosang is not jealous.

He doesn’t get jealous when Atiny comment to him that San’s arms are more muscular than his are. Nor does he get jealous when other fans tell him that their bias is someone else, or would prefer a selfie with a different member other than him during fansigns. 

Knowing whether people like him or not is none of his business.

So, when he notices that you seem to be messaging Hongjoong all day today leading up to the award’s ceremony instead of the group chat at first, he most certainly is not jealous. It definitely doesn’t bother him that the Captain of Ateez gets the fun, close-up pictures of your face while you’re getting ready for tonight. The kind one would normally only send to close friends. Nor does it irritate him that you only start sending those same selfies to the group chat once Hongjoong suggests it. 

Jongho’s and Wooyoung’s whining also has nothing to do with it, of course.

Most of all, he doesn’t care that the guys all compliment you before he does when you send them all a proper photo of your face once you’re ready for tonight. It’s not like he wanted the honour of praising you first, or anything.

Yes, Kang Yeosang is certainly not jealous.

“I wonder what type of outfit she’s going to wear.” Jongho wonders aloud, managing to pull Yeosang out of his much too loud thoughts for the moment. He can see the younger flipping through all of the photos of your face that you sent them this afternoon, seemingly deciding between the two he likes the most.

“Does she usually get super dressed up for events?” Seonghwa asks, not even bothering to shift his gaze from the window.

“I think I’ve only ever seen her in dresses for formal events like the Writer’s Guild awards.” Hongjoong comments, gazing down at his phone. 

He must still be chatting with you.

Yeosang’s jaw twitches. He blinks.

“I think I remember watching a clip from a question’s panel where someone asked her about it once,” Yunho hums, tapping his fingers over his knee as they make their way towards the venue. “From what I recall, she doesn’t necessarily like wearing skirts or shorts all that much.”

“Why?” The question is out of Yeosang’s mouth before he can stop it.

“If I recall, she gave a two parted answers.” Yunho replies.

“Oh, I think Bin sent me this clip before!” Wooyoung pipes up from the back seat. “I think she said something about a lot of clothing always being a bit too short for her height. She said something about being more comfortable in male styled clothing because of it. It’s also why she doesn’t wear a lot of short dresses.”

“The struggle is real,” Mingi sighs, shaking his head in understanding.

A comforting pat is given to his arm from San who sits beside the taller male for the moment.

“And the other?” It’s Seonghwa who asks, and Yeosang feels a subtle weight lift off of his shoulders at not having to ask again himself.

A frown pulls at Jongho’s features as he looks down at his lap.

“What?” San tilts his head, curious as to the sudden silence in the car. “What is it?”

“She said she just doesn’t like the way she looks in them.” Hongjoong voices from the front seat, a subtle downturn of his lips.

“I’m pretty sure she used different words that that, cause I remember Bin going off about it.” Wooyoung chuckles. “Give me two hours between them and she’ll never feel insecure about her thighs again.”

“Wooyoung!” Seonghwa’s eyes look about ready to fall out of his head.

“What?” He complains. “It wasn’t me that said it! It was Changbin!”

“Doesn’t mean you have to tell us.” San smacks the male sitting on his opposite side.

“Like Jongho isn’t always thinking it.” Yunho teases, receiving his own harsh smack from the aforementioned male.

“He’s not the only one.” Mingi mutters, but not lowly enough.

“We’re about to arrive at the venue.” Hongjoong’s sharp gaze turns to look at all of them. “Keep it in your pants, and control yourselves.”

San sighs. “Just another casual day.”

Turning onto the street that will lead them directly to the red carpet set up at the venue, Yeosang remains quiet. Again, his jaw twitches, focussing his gaze on the passing scenery outside of the vehicle. He doesn’t know why the other’s comments bother him so much, but they do. Yet, he does whatever he can to not let it show.

“Her makeup still looks really pretty.” Jongho sighs, somewhat wistfully as he looks out his own window.

“Oh, will you ask her out already?” Yunho nearly rolls his eyes.

Jongho’s whole face begins to turn red as he sputters out a response.

“We all know you want to.” Hongjoong joins in on the teasing now, brow quirking in amusement as he sees Jongho avoiding his gaze.

“Nah, Jongho won’t be able to ask her out.” Wooyoung shakes his head.

“And why’s that?” Seonghwa shifts his body towards Wooyoung in the backseat.

“Cause Mingi or I will do it first.” Wooyoung states, rather proudly.

The tips of Mingi’s ears burn bright red as he begins to chuckle nervously, leaning back in his seat when he notices the death glare sent his way by the youngest. However, before any one of them can comment more on the matter, the car stops.

“We’re here.” Yeosang states, rather pointedly, as he nearly flings open the door to exit the vehicle, leaving the others stunned in silence behind him.

The second his foot makes contact with the carpet, screams and cheers erupt from the surrounding fans. Some go as far to start calling his name, hoping for him to spare a glimpse in their direction. Of course, he smiles politely, bowing to everyone around him as cameras flash periodically.

A minute later, and all of Ateez make their way down the carpet, stopping to pose for the cameras every now and then. The second they make it to the designated picture area, even more cameras start going off.

Through the thicket, Yeosang spots a few of his fansites. Though, with how the official photographers of the show quickly shout directions at the eight of them, he quickly forgets all about them. That is, until a small hush settles over the crowd.

The screaming fans seem to go silent as another car pulls up to the venue. The confusion as to why becomes apparent as soon as the person steps out of the vehicle.

The moment you step out of the vehicle, Yeosang cannot take his eyes off of you. Yet, it seems, neither can anyone else.

You seem to be wearing a sort of overcoat, reminiscent of a cloak. It’s deep red in colour, hiding whatever outfit you’ve chosen to wear tonight. All except for the black lace sleeves adorning your arms that poke out of the slits in the fabric. Yet still, the cloak suits you, and it matches the sinful shade of red painted elegantly on your lips.

Briefly, you make eye contact, and Yeosang swears his heart is about to burst out of his chest. The smile you send his way only confirms it.

The palms of his hands begin to sweat. A feeling of which he hasn’t experienced since their debut stages.

Just what are you doing to him?

An organizer approaches, walking beside you and whispering lowly in your ear. You seem to nod quickly to whatever she says, for in the next minute, you’re pausing in your steps to scan the crowd. It seems as if the call of your name has drawn your attention.

There, standing next to some Atiny’s he noticed earlier, is a small group of fans that seem to be completely awestruck by you. A few hold copies of your books in hand, smiles wide on their faces as you approach. The way he notices one of the males say something to you, only for you to turn your face away for the moment bashfully has an uncomfortable feeling settling in his chest.

Why does he want that to be him?

Yeosang only wishes he knew what you were saying, but from the way the fan’s faces light up, he can just tell that you’re probably making their entire evening. When you go so far as to sign the copies of their books and take a photo, he knows that you do. Though, that same male that complimented you seemed to be getting a little too touchy with you, in his opinion.

The feeling of someone gently nudging his side pulls him out of his thoughts of you. Blinking, his vision clears to see Wooyoung motion for him to continue down the line towards the red carpet interviewers that are now ready for them.

Just as Yeosang goes to take a step, they get told to wait once more.

“We’d love to get a few photos of you with that author for public relations.” A few photographers say, already having talked it over with the event’s staff.

The eight of them share a brief look before nodding, and Yeosang knows he’s not the only one that cannot control the upturn of his lips.

A kind greeting is the first thing that escapes your lips when you walk up to all of them. You bow politely, to which they bow and greet you back. A moment later, and the photographers have instructed you to stand in the centre of all of them, having four males on your either side.

Mingi and Yunho get told to stand directly beside you to offset the height, causing both Wooyoung and Hongjoong to get shifted to the ends. The fact that you stand just a smidge taller than Yunho signifies that you must be wearing some type of heels. From the way Jongho is staring at you like you’ve hung all of the stars in the night sky, Yeosang knows he’s probably right.

His brow twitches, his smile suddenly looking a little forced. 

Soon, the photographers get you to shift poses slightly so that him, San, Hongjoong, and Wooyoung are crouched in front of the five of you behind them. While doing so, Yeosang manages to school his face back into that neutral expression everyone is used to from him. A moment later, and he’s posing for the cameras.

The minute you get told to place your hand onto Yeosang’s shoulder, he can feel the tips of his ears turning red. He just hopes people assume it’s from the chill gracing the night air. A stark contrast to the sudden way that he can feel his skin burning beneath your gentle touch.

A few more photos are taken like this until all of Ateez are finally told to move on to the interview portion of the night. Besides, the photographers want to get a few shots of you by yourself. Apparently, there’s going to be a big Naver article written about you attending these awards tonight, and the company wants as many photos as possible to choose from. The more they can get with you interacting with the other celebrities in attendance, the better.

Stepping up onto the little platform that they have set up for the interview, Yeosang follows wordlessly behind San. Three microphones gets passed to the group, one assigned to Hongjoong, one to Yunho, and one to Jongho. Though, with how they’re positioned, Yeosang knows that both Yunho and Jongho were just the unlucky ones to get stuck with the talking bits.

A few questions get asked, and he vaguely registers answers being given from his group mates beside him. He gives nods here and there in agreement, and that seems to suffice for now. That is, until one question draws his attention back to the two interviewers.

“We’ve been asking all of the artists here tonight, and some of their answers have shocked us.” The female host begins.

“There seems to be a common answer among certain groups, so we’d like to ask the members of Ateez now that same question.” The male host continues.

“Who’s performance are you looking forward to the most tonight?” The female host asks, looking between all of them.

As always, Hongjoong answers first.

“Ah, well, as Captain of Ateez, I’d say most of us are hoping Atiny will be looking forward to our special performance tonight.” Hongjoong begins with a smile, his eyes shining. “So, I will say I’m most looking forward to our stage.”

“Spoken like a true leader,” the male host nods in approval before turning his head to the member standing beside Hongjoong.

Mingi takes the mic Hongjoong offers him. “For me, I would have to say that I am most looking forward to Stray Kids performance tonight.”

Seonghwa is next, a soft smile painting his features. “Twice.”

Raising the mic back to his lips, Jongho is quick to answer. “Ah, well, I’m very much looking forward to hearing a particular speech from my favourite author.”

A few ‘oh’s and ‘aw’s are heard from the hosts and surrounding crowd.

“Yes, she seems to be a very popular choice in response tonight.” The male host notes. “Stray Kids’ Bang Chan said something that her performance is something he wishes he wrote himself after hearing it in rehearsals yesterday.”

“I cannot wait to see what it is!” The female host smiles, her eyes crinkling at the sides. “What about you, San?”

The mic in Jongho’s hands gets passed to the aforementioned male.

“Well, I’m personally excited for Seventeen’s performance.” He smiles.

“Ah, yes, a few members of Seventeen also said that they were excited to watch you all perform tonight, too!” The female host comments, nodding her head.

Wooyoung is next, but San already sees him holding onto a mic, so he passes his back to Jongho.

“My mind is telling me Stray Kids, but my gut is telling me NCT.” Wooyoung says, and the hosts share a chuckle.

“Changbin of Stray Kids said the same for your group.” The female host chuckles, a subtle blush rising to her features.

A blink, and the mic is back in Yunho’s hands.

“I would have to say that the performance I’m looking forward to the most is ours.” A wink is sent to the camera. “Atiny, we have a very special stage planned for you tonight. Please support and cheer us on!”

A roar erupts from the crowd, and the eight men all smile.

Finally, it’s time for Yeosang’s turn to answer, but again, he finds himself distracted by you. It looks like you’ve just finished up with the photographers who had made you take some photos with all of NCT just shortly after they had arrived.

The feeling of a microphone being shoved into his hands draws his attention back to the present, the hosts blinking at him expectantly.

Raising the mic to his lips, he has his prepared response ready, and on the tip of his tongue. Only, when he opens his mouth to speak, the answer that comes out shocks even him.

“Seems as if that author is a hot topic tonight!” The male host chuckles. “I certainly hope that she can live up to everyone’s expectations.”

“Speaking of, look who is coming to join us!” The female host motions for you to join all of them after being prompted by the staff.

Slowly, you begin to ascend the side steps, and all Yeosang can do is stare. His mind screams at him to move, to offer you his hand as you step towards him, but it seems as if he’s frozen in his spot. What only makes it worse is when he sees Yunho eagerly hop passed him and help you the rest of the way up onto the platform.

A polite ‘hello’ escapes you as you bow to both of the hosts, and all of Ateez again. A moment later, and they’re bowing back.

“You look absolutely stunning tonight, doesn’t she, boys?” The female host comments, a large smile on her face. Though, in the next moment, she leans into her co-host. “Oh, I forgot, can she speak Korean?”

“Yes, I can speak Korean.” You confirm, but only the people on stage hear you. You notice both host’s eyes going wide before the female motions for you to take a microphone in hand.

Yeosang graciously passes you the one in his hands, seeing as he stands on one side of you, while Yunho stands on the other. The moment you repeat the phrase, both hosts smile at you.

“It’s lovely to have you here with us this evening.” The female continues.

“It’s lovely to be here amongst such admirable people.” You reply, a soft smile painting your features.

“Kind, and beautiful,” the male comments, a small twitch to his brow upwards. “You must be very popular.”

Something about the host’s tone rubs Yeosang the wrong way.

A bashful look crosses your features. “Ah, thank you.”

“We were just chatting with the members of Ateez about who they’re most looking forward to seeing perform tonight,” the female host begins. “You seem to be a very popular answer amongst all idols.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet!” You place a hand onto your cheek. “I certainly do hope to live up to everyone’s expectations.”

The male host lets out a small puff in amusement.

“We talked with SHINee earlier in the night, and they informed us that you personally spoke with them about an aspect of your speech.” The male says. “Would you please divulge that with us now?”

“Unfortunately, that was a matter between myself and those four wonderful men.” You reply calmly. “Besides, I think I would rather let my words speak for themselves. You’ll all find out soon enough why, anyways.”

“Understandable!” The female continues. “Anyways, one final question for you before we bid farewell to Ateez for now.”

You nod, eagerly.

“Who are you most looking forward to seeing perform tonight?” She asks, leaning in slightly to catch your answer.

“Oh, excellent question!” You chuckle. “You see, I’m very indecisive, so my immediate response is everybody. This truly is a dream come true for me. However, if I have to choose, other than these fine gentlemen here,” you motion slightly to the Ateez members around you, “I would always have to say SHINee. Though, I think my one friend might have something to say if I don’t add NCT in there, as well.”

The hosts laugh along with you, though the male’s seems a little strained.

Yeosang frowns, but not even a millisecond later, his expression is neutral once more.

“Well, thank you so much for stopping to answer our questions!” The female smiles. “We have a few more for the lovely author here, but the Ateez members are free to head inside.”

Reluctantly, Yeosang begins to follow the other guys inside the venue, only catching little snippets of the hosts beginning to ask you some more questions. The way he looks back to see some NCT members waiting at the side of the stage, Mark at the forefront of the group and looking up at you in awe, twists his stomach.

“Didn’t realize you were looking forward to her speech that much, Yeosangie,” Wooyoung teases as soon as they’re out of earshot from the press.

“Shut up,” the male grumbles, rolling his eyes slightly.

“I wonder what type of outfit she’s wearing under that cloak,” Jongho wonders aloud, almost absentmindedly as they all make their way towards the green rooms to drop off their coats.

Luckily for them, there seem to be a few screens in the backstage area playing the interviews taking place outside. One of the hosts must have just asked you that same question, for you chuckle fondly.

“Well, avid fans of my first published series will certainly be very pleased.” You wink at the camera, and the female host pretends to swoon.

“I absolutely adore those books!” She says. “I can’t wait to see what you have in store for us tonight!”

Unfortunately for Yeosang, the members get ushered away from the screen to prepare for the beginning of the show. Well, at least Hongjoong does since he’s participating in your speech. 

The crew had everyone rehearse in reverse show order yesterday, which means you’re the opener. You’ve already expressed your slight nerves to the group chat, them all reassuring you that you’ll do great. From how well rehearsal went yesterday, Yeosang has no doubt in his mind that everyone will love what you have planned.

Walking out into the artist area after dropping off their coats, the boys (minus Hongjoong) move to their designated seats. Yeosang waves to a few fans that call his name, as do the other members, bowing politely to their seniors and smiling at their juniors. The second they sit at their designated couches, Changbin is leaning over from the one beside theirs.

“Heard staff muttering you got to take photos with everyone’s favourite author tonight.” He meets Wooyoung’s gaze, and Yeosang notices Felix also looking their way. “We are so jealous.”

“We got told Chan commented on her speech during the interview.” Yunho hums, leaning back comfortably in his seat.

“Minho had to subtly elbow him to prevent him from taking things further.” Jisung grins knowingly. 

“The way he was praising her might draw some unwanted attention from dispatch.” Minho shrugs casually.

“Not that our Channie Boy would mind.” Seungmin grins teasingly, a wiggle to his brows.

“Says you!” Jeongin cuts in. “Who’s the one that started lamenting about serenading her first at karaoke, and then asking her to sing a duet with him?”

Yeosang shifts in his seat, somewhat unknowingly.

“Like hell I’m letting you serenade her first!” Jongho frowns, meeting Seungmin’s gaze from across the two tables.

“Bring it on, Apple Boy.” Seungmin quirks a brow in challenge as the others simply look on in amusement.

“Careful, he might threaten to split you in half like one.” Yeosang comments, tone a little firmer than he intends. A fact which does not go unnoticed by his group mates.

“What? Speaking from experience?” Changbin laughs.

“I think you’ll have to fight Hyunjin asking her to learn Red Lights with him first.” Jisung casually adds, taking a sip from a water bottle provided for each of the members at the couches.

“Hyunjin wants her to learn Red Lights with him?” Mingi’s eyes nearly bulge right out of his head.

“He said he’d also be willing to perform Red Velvet’s Psycho again with her if she asked.” Seungmin hums.

Another cheer from the crowd erupts as NCT enters the area, and Yeosang notices how one-two-seven ends up being assigned the couches on the opposite side of them. Polite bows and greetings are sent their way, and Yeosang cannot help but notice that Mark sits the closest to their own seats.

“That’s not to mention how both Felix and Hyunjin both want to teach her Taste.” Minho huffs out a laugh, leaning back in his seat.

“We told you that you’re welcome to join us,” Felix comments, a chuckle falling from his lips. “Man’s too proud to say that he was impressed by her dancing skills.”

“She might feel too crowded having three males teaching her that type of dance.” Minho replies with a shrug, but he cannot hide the way he averts his gaze to the floor somewhat bashfully. “I don’t want to make her uncomfortable, is all.”

“That won’t stop Changbin.” Jisung teases.

“Hey!” The aforementioned male whines.

“Aww, does our little Lee Know have a crush, too?” Seungmin teases, Jeongin joining in quickly at the way the elder male’s cheeks flare.

“Hey!” He smacks the both of them on their thighs.

“Should we start that ‘simp squad’ now?” Wooyoung leans over to Changbin, hands gripping the armrest of the couch.

“What do you mean ‘start’?” Changbin laughs. “Felix and I have already been members for months.”

“And you didn’t invite me?” Wooyoung gasps, absolutely appalled by this turn of events.

“Oh, make sure you go around to all of the groups with the sign up list.” Johnny’s voice from their opposite side draws their attention. “I know plenty who would gladly join. Right, Mark?”

At the way they all turn to face NCT now, Johnny chuckles. Even Mark’s face begins to go bright red.

Yeosang exhales a deep sigh through his nose, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans further back into the couch. It appears that Twice has just arrived, the females taking their seats on the couches in front of them. Again, more polite bows and greetings are sent to the other artists, to which they are given back.

“Actually, I think combining them would be better.” Jungwoo joins in on teasing his bandmate. “Mark’s already president, vice-president, and head of his own. A merger might incite better relations in the simp community.”

“This is a completely casual conversation.” San nods, blinking a few times in earnest. A moment later, he’s nodding to himself. “Everyday, normal topics.”

Laughter erupts from around him.

“Just because you and Yeosang don’t read her books, doesn’t mean we don’t.” Jongho grumbles.

“Believe me,” Seonghwa leans back, crossing his one leg over the other. “We know.”

More laughter erupts around them.

“Not my fault you all don’t have taste.” Mingi huffs, a slight pout pulling at his lips as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“You know, as a curtesy, I think you should read at least one of her books now.” Yunho hums, looking between both San and Yeosang. “You’re both technically friends with her.”

“How come you’re not harping on Hwa for not reading her books?” San whines, motioning to the aforementioned male with a jerk of his chin.

“Because unlike some people, I actually borrowed her first series from Joong after we met.” Seonghwa snorts, amusement dancing in his gaze. “Never thought I would like that type of genre, but she writes it quite well. I just wish she would mention Star Wars more.”

The pout that pulls onto his lips is almost comical, and Yeosang nearly rolls his eyes.

“It’s not her favourite series.” He replies, somewhat bluntly.

All heads turn to him, some with quirked eyebrows.

“Then, what is her favourite series?” Jongho quirks a brow almost smugly, appearing ready to correct the elder and prove how much more he knows about you.

“Lord of the Rings.” Yeosang states, blinking as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Wait, how do you know that?” Wooyoung frowns, and Yeosang notices he’s not the only fan of yours that does so.

“She told me on the plane.” There’s a subtle quirk to the corner of his lips as he says this. A certain undertone of smugness that causes him to sit a little straighter in his spot.

However, before any of them can respond, the lights are dimming throughout the venue, and a hush settles over the crowd. An opening VCR begins to play, introducing the acts that will be performing tonight, interspersed with live shots from all of the artists sitting in their designated seats. Cheers erupt from the crowd as certain groups appear on screen, a grand instrumental accompanying the visuals.

Turning his head slightly, Yeosang can spot multiple varying lightsticks throughout the crowd, shining brightly in the darkness. The way the little glowing orbs shake along with the fan’s cheers makes him smile softly, and he knows he’s not the only one.

A voice booms through the speakers at the end of the video, announcing the start to the ceremonies, and outlining the safety procedures for the evening should they be needed. Once it has finished, another hush settles over the crowd as the stage is revealed, only for a loud roar to erupt in anticipation.

From the back of the stage, you begin to walk forward towards the lone microphone standing at the front. You seem to be holding a small notebook and pen in your hands, clutching them close to your body as you step forward slowly.

The moment the spotlight hits you, the crowd goes silent. Then, it’s as if many share a collective gasp as your full form takes centre stage. Finally, your outfit for the evening has been revealed, and from the way he can hear the sharp intake of breaths from your self-proclaimed biggest fans, he knows that what you’re wearing holds some sort of significance to you.

The dress is beautiful. The black lace starts with an off the shoulder neckline, trailing all the way down to your wrists in an intricate design. The material flares slightly at the waist, reaching all the way down to the floor, dragging elegantly over the stage as you walk forward. Gradually, the black material fades into a navy blue, until it bleeds into a vibrant royal blue at the bottom. The design is slightly form fitting, too.

Yes, there is no question about it. The dress is stunning. Yet, even more so, the person wearing it.

From his vantage point, Yeosang can practically see you glowing up on stage. The smile you wear is radiant, those sinful red lips of yours pulling across your features as your eyes shine. The screens projecting your image to the audience only serve to accent every little thing about you, and Yeosang can feel his heart skip a beat in his chest.

He swallows thickly.

“Holy shit.” Jongho gasps, and the elder male swears the younger has stopped breathing for the moment.

“What?” Yeosang frowns, noting all of the awed stares you’re receiving from the idols around him. Hell, even the way some of the Twice members squeal lowly in front of him only causes his brow to furrow even more. “What is it?”

“She’s wearing that dress.” Yunho breathes, blinking in awe as he leans forward in his spot to get a better glimpse of you on stage.

“What dress?” His brow furrows deeper, eyes scanning over your figure once more.

From in front of him, he can vaguely hear the Twice members muttering about how you look absolutely divine.

The corner of Jongho’s lips quirk upwards, a small puff of air escaping his nose. “Read her books.”

Yeosang shoots a pointed side-eyed look the younger’s way, jaw twitching as he clenches his teeth in annoyance. Why does Jongho always feel the need to gatekeeper everything about you that Yeosang asks about? It’s not fair. He wants to know you, too.

A still silence settles over the entire venue.

“Hello, everyone,” your voice comes out smooth and steady as you address the crowd, welcoming all to the ceremony and introducing yourself all the while. “Tonight, a celebration will be taking place. A celebration of life, beauty, and music. A celebration I am honoured to be apart of, and am grateful to be experiencing with all of you.”

Soft smiles paint the faces of the people around him, but none are as proud as Mark’s looks right now. The special gleam Yeosang can see shining within the males’ eyes has him huffing out a small breath, focussing back on you in the next second.

“Tonight, we are all here for one common purpose,” you state, eyes staring into the camera before you. “To celebrate art.”

The screens light up behind you, the words appearing in golden writing upon a pure black background.

“Art comes in many different shapes and forms, but to many,” you smile softly, “art is life.”

A brief pause as the screens begin to play a video showcasing different forms of art.

“It fills a room with music.” A new voice - Bang Chan - says.

The lights on the composers come up and a collective gasp is heard from the audience as both him and Jihoon are revealed. A montage of both Jihoon and Bang Chan working in their studios appear on screen.

“With vibrance.” Seulgi’s voice is heard cutting through the silence as the lights come up on the three visual artists.

Images of Renjun’s, Hyunjin’s, and Seulgi’s art are displayed on screen. A few pictures and silent clips of them working on said items or presenting them with smiles on their faces appear as well.

“And elegance.” Momo is the next to speak, Ten and Taemin flanking her on either side as the dancers are highlighted.

Clips of all three of them dancing in their respective practice studios flash across the screen, and even some of the collaborations between artists. Momo’s cover of Taemin’s Move appears, and even some different Super M performances focussing on both Ten and Taemin are displayed briefly.

“It showcases one’s highs,” Key’s voice is heard after a moment, Onew standing right beside him with a smile on his face.

Live performances of each male during concerts and comeback stages are shown, and even a short, silent clip of Onew performing Nessun Dorma.

“And their lows.” The lights on the rappers come up, Dahyun grinning widely at the crowd as Taeyong smiles beside her.

Performances of both NCT and Twice flash on screen, both idols in the midst of rapping their verses for their respective songs.

“It allows us to express who we are in different ways.” The idols you have chosen to represent fashion are showcased next, and Yeosang immediate recognizes Hongjoong’s own voice coming through the speakers.

Behind them, a montage of Baekhyun at his Privé Alliance premiers are combined with clips of Hongjoong refashioning clothing. Even a few shots of Hongjoong attending Paris Fashion Week for Balmain are shown.

“And even become who we are not, even if just for a short while.” The actors are brought into the spotlight, Minho standing proudly beside Kyungsoo as the former finishes speaking.

Multiple shots from each male’s respective dramas are shown, showcasing their versatility in the acting field. Even a few interviews and behind the scenes footage are shown wherein the two speak about their various roles they have performed over the years.

“Art encompass all aspects of a person’s life, and lives in collaboration with the artist, just as we do with one another.” Your voice draws everyone’s attention back to you for the moment, still standing at the front of the stage. “It has many angles, just as we as people do. When you change your perspective, it can become many different things. For art is not defined by one, single thing, nor will it ever be.”

“However, it does not do well to forget that despite all of its joys, art can be lonely.” You say, and Yeosang notices quite a few nodding along with your words, especially the idols on stage. “It allows us to channel our inner thoughts and feelings into a process so that others never have to feel as alone as we do. It is there for us in our darkest times, and shines with us in the light. For, even when we are alone, we always have art. It is constant and reassuring. It allows us to all express our fears, and our vulnerability. It allows for others to observe such pieces ands say, ‘I understand, for I have felt this way, too.’ Most importantly, it says, ‘you are not alone.’”

Clips of personal hardships are shown of the various idols standing on stage with you. Tears of joy, of pain, and of sorrow are shed, along with demonstrations of all of the hard work, time, and effort that go into each different art form.

Pages upon pages are edited together, showing scribbles and writings across them. Some end up torn out of the notebook, while others are shown being crumpled up and tossed aside.

That’s when Yeosang realizes, that this is your portion of the video. Your own art form taking shape in writing as a blank page with a cursor blinking almost ominously overhead is shown.

“Art can be simple, and it can also be complex.” You say. “Yet, always. Always, always, always, it starts with a single idea.”

A stereotypical ‘Once upon a time…” is seen being typed out onto the blank document showcased onscreen.

“Art starts with a vision, and a dream.” You say, and your fingers tighten the slightest bit on that pen and notebook clutched in your hand. “For me, it starts with a blank page, and a pen. All it takes is a single spark. A moment of clarity through the chaos that is life to help guide us in a way that we wish to experience with other people. Yet, at the core of all of this, is one binding factor.”

Quickly, you flip open that notebook and scribble something onto a page. Turning it around to show the camera reveals a close up shot of your writing spelling out the word that immediately appears on screen. 

The word for ‘love’ appears in big golden letters above your head, and a collective gasp is heard from the audience. A fact which is only emphasized when each idol standing on stage with you pulls out a piece of paper of their own, the word love written in their mother tongue in their own handwriting on each.

“Every artist is passionate in what they do; art encompasses the mind, body, and soul of the person who creates it. Art is meant to be shared in all of its forms, and it is you who allow us to continue to be our authentic selves through such self expression.” You continue, voice strong as you stand tall. “The amount of love, time, dedication, and energy put into a single piece always shines through. I can think of no better example for this that the late Kim Jonghyun, who’s artistic views have not only inspired me, but so many of my fellow artists around the globe. His dedication and love for his craft was clear in everything that he did, and continues to be a guiding light for many artists still struggling in the dark.”

Behind you, the camera picks up a single tear trailing down the side of Minho’s cheek. Though, from the looks of things, some of the other idols sharing the stage with you do not fare any better.

“No matter what type of life we lead as individuals, we are all bound by a common love for art.” The soft smile is back on your face. You take the time to look around at the artists before you sitting in the couches, along with many of the staff continuing to work to keep the show running. You briefly meet Yeosang’s gaze. “It is what connects us, for art is eternal. Love inspires art, and art inspires love. It is apparent in everything that we do, the people we are, and who we are meant to become.”

“Tonight, we are all here on common purpose,” your gaze is back on the camera before you, bars of music appearing on the screen behind you as notes begin to form on the sheet music. “Tonight, it is our love of music which connects us all.”

More nods are seen all around, a few even already shedding tears along with your words.

“As a beautiful poet, and artist once said, "Even though we can’t communicate using the same language, we use music instead.””

Both Key and Onew swallow thickly. Tears now trail a path down both of their faces as the quote appears on screen, Jonghyun being cited beneath as the speaker of such words.

Many sniffles are heard from the surrounding crowd, many openly sobbing along to your final words as you begin to wrap up your speech for the evening.

“Art is timeless, and knows no bounds. It transcends cultures, languages, and even memory. For even after an artist has passed, their legacy lives on. It lives on in their work, yes, but it also lives on in all of us. Each of us carries that passion, that drive, to strive to be our best selves, and produce art that we can all be proud of. We as artists pour our blood, sweat, and tears into everything that we do, in hopes to share it with you. For art is love, and without love, there would be no art.”

“After all, a heart without art is just eh.”

A few chuckles are heard throughout the crowd as you speak those words in English, shrugging along to them lightly. The video behind you demonstrates the word ‘Heart’ failing as the ‘Art’ portion is removed.

“I would like to end now, with a final quote from Jonghyun which has inspired me, even in my darkest times. For more than everything I have said here tonight, it is always important to remember this: we, as individuals, are all priceless pieces of artwork in our own rights.” Your eyes begin to shine with unshed tears, your breath hitching in your throat momentarily as you look out into the crowd one final time. Taking a deep breath in, you begin to speak once more, the quote appearing in perfect time with each word you go on to say, “The most beautiful thing in all the world is right now. This moment. You. Don’t ever forget that.”

A brief pause where you swallow thickly, a single tear sliding down the side of your cheek. 

You bow deeply. “Thank you very much.”

The moment you straighten back to your full height on stage, a tremendous applause greets you. Yeosang hasn’t even realized he’s started crying until he feels the first of his tears land on the skin of his hands, yet he knows he’s not the only one. Inside that venue, he’s pretty sure that there’s almost no dry eye in sight. Besides, the response from the crowd is too authentic and loud to suggest otherwise.

A blink, and Mark Lee is standing to his feet, followed immediately by all of the NCT members present at the event. Twice is the next group to stand, Jongho springing up as well before any of the members can stop him.

The crowd seems to follow the idol’s lead, for a moment later, the entire venue is giving you a standing ovation. Even both Irene and Wendy are reluctantly on their feet, tears falling freely down their faces despite their attempts to hide them.

What makes this moment even more special, is that on stage, the idols you have chosen to help you all step towards you. However, it is the four members of SHINee that approach you, bowing to you in tandem as you bow back. A moment later, a staff member hands something to Taemin onstage.

It takes a few moments for the applause to die down and for everyone to settle back into their seats. Once they do, it’s like a new sense of calm and understanding has passed over the entire crowd as the members of SHINee address you.

“You have once again proven your elegance with words here tonight in front of all of us,” Jinki begins, a fond smile gracing his features.

“You have reminded us all of why we are here, and why each and every one of us continues to strive for perfection in everything that we do.” Minho is the next to speak, standing tall as he looks upon you with pride.

“We would like to now thank you for your hard work and dedication to your own craft which you have shared with all of us tonight.” Key tilts his head in acknowledgement at you, eyes shining as Taemin approaches you with an award held in his hands.

“In honour of this ceremony tonight, we would like to present you with this artists award for the written word.” Taemin speaks lowly, handing the little statuette to you as a few more tears escape your eyes. He leans in, the cameras catching the way his own tears continue to fall freely down his face. “Thank you for honouring our brother.”

Another round of applause is heard from the audience.

“May this award solidify the relationship between artists, and the bond of love that we all share towards a common craft.” Minho smiles at you as you bow once more, thanking each one of them earnestly without a moment’s hesitation.

The transitional instrumental begins to play over the speakers as you all exit the stage. Most of the idols around you begin to congratulate you on your way out, you inclining your head to them in time and smiling widely.

Yeosang only wishes he could be up there, too, celebrating in your own victory.

A minute later, and the first idol performance kicks off, the crowd cheering along with the music. It takes a few minutes before most of the idols return to their groups after helping you with your performance, but still, you do not appear.

No, you do not appear in the artist’s area for over twenty minutes. Twenty painstakingly long minutes where Yeosang subtly keeps glancing towards the side, hoping that you’ll appear at any moment.

Once you do, though, it’s as if all eyes are drawn to you.

Walking with a staff member to your designated seat, you get stopped lightly by a few groups. Congratulations are heard all around, some idols going so far as to stand and bow to you, mumbles of gratitude falling from their lips. Of course, you immediately smile and bow back, talking lightly to those that wish to converse with you during the small interludes between performances.

Finally, you reach your seat, and it looks las if they’ve seated you right next to Twice, but in front of NCT for the show. A fact that normally Yeosang wouldn’t take much notice of, were you anyone else. However, the fact that it’s you, and that you’re so far away bothers him.

It’s not like he wants to congratulate you himself or anything.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he notices both Jongho and Wooyoung stand to their feet. Both Felix and Changbin do as well. Not that Yeosang is keeping tabs, or anything.

“Where are you two going?” His gaze narrows at them suspiciously.

“To congratulate our friend,” Wooyoung rolls his eyes. “What does it look like we’re doing?”

“Joong already did, though.” Seonghwa frowns, a hint of worry on his features as he glances around at all of the cameras watching their every move.

“We know.” Jongho hums, shrugging nonchalantly. “So, if anyone asks, we’ve just gone to the washroom.”

“Let them go,” Hongjoong huffs out a laugh. “I certainly don’t want to listen to them whining about it the whole show.”

“They’ll be a few seats away, and it’s not like idols haven’t switched couches before during shows.” Yunho hums, amusement dancing in his gaze.

Yeosang can only watch, frozen to his spot as the two youngest members make their way over to you with both Felix and Changbin shortly after that. 

Currently, you appear to be talking lightly to both Sana and Mina for the moment. The three of you lean closer in to one another as a small break is taken as the stage gets set for the next performance.

The second you see Felix, Changbin, Jongho, and Wooyoung appear, you smile. However, due to the angle Yeosang is sitting in, he cannot tell what you’re saying. Instead, he opts to lean back onto the couch, a huff escaping him as his lips tug downwards in the corners.

“If it bothers you that much, go with them.” Hongjoong chuckles, taking notice of the pout Yeosang seems to wear.

“I’m not bothered.” Yeosang is quick to reply, diverting his gaze to the men sitting beside him.

“Mmhmm,” Yunho hums, a knowing quirk to his brow. “And Jongho isn’t on his knees proposing as we speak.”

Yeosang’s head whips in your direction.

A boisterous laugh greets his ears as he sees you continuing to casually converse with the four other idols. None of them are on their knees, nor have they even moved a single inch.

If looks could kill, Yunho would be ten feet under.

“Oh yeah, definitely not bothered.” San quirks a brow, the corner of his lips quirked upwards smugly.

“Shut up.” Yeosang grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Just admit you’re starting to like her, and be done with it.” Mingi shrugs, patting the male beside him lightly on the knee.

“It’s not like that.” Yeosang shakes his head lightly, eyes catching on the way you seem to throw your head back in laughter at something Wooyoung has just said. His jaw twitches in annoyance.

“Sure, it’s not.” Seonghwa grins.

“It’s not!” Yeosang can feel his face heating beneath their knowing stares. “I haven’t even known her for a month!”

“It doesn’t take long to start developing feelings for someone.” Hongjoong comments casually, turning his attention back to the stage as the next group walks into position.

“You guys are making a mountain out of a mole hill.” Yeosang huffs, turning back to face forward as well.

Even though the guys all choose to say nothing as both Jongho and Wooyoung return to join them, Yeosang can just tell that they still don’t believe him.

No, there’s nothing there. Just like how Yeosang is not jealous, he doesn’t have any other feelings towards you other than friendly. You don’t even know each other all that well, especially not like that.

Yet.

Yeosang blinks, surprising himself with that small voice that sounds at the back of his head. He should be used to it by now, but he finds that everything about you throws him off. In a good way, of course. You’re just never what he expects, and for some reason, the thought of growing closer to you, even just as friends, warms his heart more than anything. He wants to support you, just as you’ve incurred that you’ve been supporting him all of this time.

Why then, does the thought of you with anyone else, or even the sight of you getting along so well with another male, bother him so? Why is it when even his closest friends make you smile, his heart hurts?

Yeosang gets so lost in his thoughts, that he barely registers the time passing by. The only two things that manage to snap him out of his daze of staring longingly in your direction half of the time is when Ateez wins an award and has to go up on stage to accept it, and when they are finally taken backstage to get ready for their performance.

In the back of his mind, Yeosang hopes that you’ll be focussed on him.

Standing in the wings, he cannot help but smile to himself. From his vantage point backstage, he can just make out your figure sitting on the couches, dancing along to Stray Kids’ performance right now. The way you excitedly mouth along to the words, potentially even singing along to them has the infectious joy on your features flooding his veins. He cannot help but get lost in the way you move, captivating him with something as simple as nodding your head and shifting your shoulders along to the beat.

Will you do the same for Ateez? Will you be just as content to sing along to the lyrics and music that he is about to perform? Will you, and he silently hopes this beyond everything, be as captivated by him as he is by you?

“Ateez, standby.” A crew member says, headset blinking periodically as they finish guiding the members to their entrance spots.

A large roar is heard from the crowd in response to Stray Kids wrapping up their set, the members rushing passed Ateez as they exit the stage.

Brief congratulations and praises are shared, Wooyoung and Changbin playfully teasing each other about who is going to win their bet of having your gaze on them more when performing. Though Bang Chan and Hongjoong chuckle fondly, Yeosang cannot help the irritated twitch of his jaw.

A minute later, Ateez is entering the stage.

The crowd once more erupts in cheers as their intro begins playing, their names being introduced onscreen as their opening VCR plays in the background. Yeosang can feel that typical rush of adrenaline flooding his veins, taking a deep breath in and getting into his starting position.

The music begins.

Each move is precise, the dance flowing between all of them just as every time they both practice and perform. Not a single error is seen from any of them, and the energy from the audience feeds into each of their movements, giving them motivation to continue and perform even better than before. Of course, it helps when certain close ups of the members cause cheers to erupt, or certain parts of the song.

The moment Yeosang steps to the front to do his part, the movements second nature to him by now, he spares a glance in your direction.

There you sit, completely mesmerized by him. Your eyes are wide, hand resting over your heart as you lean back into the couch as if you’re swooning.

Yeosang smirks, putting even more effort into his every movement. He needs to continue to feel your eyes on him every second of this performance, because it motivates him to do even better than before. 

If your touch is fire, then your gaze is electricity, setting his whole body alight in the best ways possible.

The minute the stage ends, Yeosang darts his gaze over to you once more. The fact that he can see you cheering loudly causes his already racing heart to stutter, a smile pulling at his features all the while. There’s a sense of pride building in his chest, more so than usual, and he absolutely revels in it.

It takes them about ten minutes to cool down backstage. Each male takes the time to change out of their performance outfits, allowing the staff to wipe the sweat from their faces before heading back to their seats.

The minute they return to the couches, they see you smiling widely at them. The added fact that you send them two enthusiastic thumbs up, mouthing ‘great job’ towards them, has them all smiling and bowing at you in thanks.

Yeosang’s heart absolutely soars, but he can tell that he’s not the only one. Even both San and Seonghwa look absolutely thrilled to be receiving your praise, giddy grins tugging onto their features as they walk passed. It’s only when Jongho sits on the couch directly beside yours that Yeosang realizes that the Twice members have all been brought backstage for their own performance.

Wooyoung is the next to sit on that same couch, and soon, all of Ateez takes over the spot where Twice had once been. You talk lowly with them, congratulating them again on an excellent performance while talking excitedly about your favourite parts. A fact of which makes all of them nod along eagerly, for you have something to praise about all of them.

The moment Yeosang’s name slips passed your lips, his eyes are on you.

“I know for a fact I wasn’t the only one captivated by your part tonight.” You say, eyes shining as you meet his gaze. “You should have heard the way Itzy squealed beside me. It was so validating to know I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.”

Sure enough, when his gaze darts passed your head, he can see Itzy smiling and waving at him from the couch to the left of your own. 

He turns back to you.

Lowly, he thanks you, and again, he can feel a vibrant warmth spreading onto his cheeks. Yet, all too soon, you’re moving on.

“And that high note!” You turn to Jongho, fingers squeezing the arm of the couch beside you. “God, I always love watching your live stages cause you guys don’t just perform, you perform.”

The way you emphasize that word has smiles rising to all of their faces, especially when they watch you lean forward slightly as you say such a thing. This is the first time they’ve ever truly experienced you talking like this about them, and each male wants to enjoy it. Though, some are definitely enjoying it more than others. Including Yeosang.

“I could literally go on forever about this, but I’ll spare you guys from my rant beforehand.” You chuckle, shifting back into your original position.

“Really, I don’t think any of us would mind.” Hongjoong grins at you, but the way his eyes flash suggests he knows something that the others don’t.

“Yeah, okay, captain of the stage demons,” you snort. “You’re really not slick in still trying to figure out my bias to your group. You ask me more times than the Iron Lung over here.”

At the way you motion to Jongho with your thumb, the guys and you all share a laugh.

“Didn’t realize Captain was that interested in learning your bias,” Wooyoung’s eyebrow quirks mischievously. “And after that huge ass lecture on the way home from rehearsals yesterday about giving you space about it.”

Hongjoong looks about ready to leap across the couch and start smacking Wooyoung upside the head.

“I honestly don’t mind not knowing.” Hongjoong says, though the fact that he forces a tight smile suggests otherwise.

“Really?” You grin, tilting your head forward knowingly. “Mister ‘don’t look at other idols’ doesn’t care whether or not my bias to his group is actually him or not?”

“I don’t say that!” His mouth falls open in shock.

All heads in Ateez turn to look at Hongjoong, blinking in disbelief.

“Okay, maybe like, once,” he grumbles.

Yunho snorts out a laugh, “yeah, maybe once today.”

A playful smack is given to the younger male, who pretends to rub his side in pain.

“Whatever,” Hongjoong mumbles. “You help a friend out with their presentation, and they won’t even tell you their Ateez bias afterwards.”

You laugh.

“As long as I’m your wrecker, that’s all that matters.” Wooyoung chimes in, a firm nod to his head.

“Given up on the notion that you’re her bias already?” San asks, amusement dancing in his eyes. “Where’d that confidence from the plane ride go?”

“Didn’t you know, a person’s bias is most like them, and their wrecker is their ideal type?” Wooyoung proudly repeats the words you told him yesterday.

All eyes are instantly on you.

“Okay, so, who’s your Ateez bias wrecker?” Mingi asks eagerly, leaning forward slightly in his seat.

Again, you laugh. “If I’m not telling you my bias, I’m most certainly not telling you my wreckers.”

Yeosang’s brow quirks, but his face remains neutral for the most part.

“It has to be one of us,” Seonghwa frowns, attempting to figure it all out from everything that you’ve told them so far.

“Oh, I never said there was only one.” You hum, a teasing quirk to your lips. “Oh no, one of you was very adamant about wrecking me in the end.”

“You like multiple of us?” Yeosang’s lips part, ignoring the way his heart leaps hopefully in his chest.

“Of course I like more than one of you,” you giggle. “There are eight of you, after all. It’s quite hard for someone to choose only one. You’re all very beautiful men.”

Quirked eyebrows greet you all around, and your eyes seem to widen in embarrassment. The fact that they all smile at you giddily only makes it worse.

“Wait, please don’t think I’m super shallow and am only talking about your looks when I say that.” You’re quick to add. “Yes, I think you’re all handsome, but I mainly base my decisions on what is known about your personalities and what you show your fans.”

“You think I’m handsome?” Jongho’s eyes absolutely shine beneath the dim lighting of the venue, nothing but awe in his gaze as he looks at you.

“Of course I do.” You smile, and red begins to slowly creep up Jongho’s neck. “Beauty is also very subjective, so who I might find the most visually appealing might not be another person’s answer.”

“As long as you think I’m the most handsome, we shouldn’t have a problem.” A voice from the left side catches your attention, and you turn to see Johnny, Mark, and Yuta moving to sit beside you on the couch. 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, John.” You grin, bowing your head politely in greeting to Yuta who smiles back.

“Every day I know you, you break my heart even more.” Johnny sighs dramatically, placing a hand over his chest as he falls backwards on the couch.

“I’ve known you for a day and a half, John.” You blink blankly, somewhat teasingly, causing laughter to erupt around you.

“You’ve only known Mark for that time, too!” He counters.

“Technically speaking, I’ve been talking with Mark for over eight months now.” You reply, fixing the skirt of your dress as you cross your one leg over the other beneath the material.

Yeosang’s eyebrow twitches, leaning forward slightly in his seat to see you better.

“Yeah, she’s my best friend!” Mark grins widely, puffing out his chest slightly as he looks at Johnny. Were it not for the cameras, Yeosang bets anything that the male would have slung an arm around your shoulders by now.

“Yeah, cause you won’t share her contact details with anyone else.” Johnny mutters, rolling his eyes.

“Mark! Right in front of your number one stan?” You gasp dramatically, extending your hand outwards and motioning towards Yuta.

“Normally, I would have to agree with you.” Yuta smirks, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he looks at you. “However, I think I can make an exception for our favourite author.”

Your whole body freezes, eyes sparkling as you look towards Yuta. “Favourite author?”

“Yes.” Yuta nods once in confirmation. “And might I just say, you look divine.”

The way your breath hitches in your throat does not go unnoticed by any of them. The fact that you avert your gaze so bashfully while muttering out a small ‘thank you’ has Yeosang’s heart squeezing painfully in his chest. He can hardly prevent the way his lips purse the slightest bit, fingers digging into the skin of his thighs as he grounds himself to his spot for the moment.

Yeosang may not have fully understood what Yuta has just told you, but from the bits he picked up, he’s understood enough. Besides, the bashful way you respond says it all.

A second later, and you’re clearing your throat. “Wait, Mark won’t share my contact details with you? I told him it was fine when he first asked. I just didn’t bring it up again because I thought none of you were interested in talking with me. I didn’t want to push or come across as some weird, obsessed fan who was using connections to get what she wants.”

A pointed look is sent towards Mark by both Johnny and Yuta as the former male begins to shrink in his spot.

“Ah, so Markie Boy has been gatekeeping his pretty author friend this whole time.” Johnny hums, a tight smile pulling across his features.

“I think I need to reassess how much I stan Mark now,” Yuta adds, a teasing grin pulling on his features.

“I’m telling Ten!” Johnny jumps up from the couch, moving back off to where all of NCT is sitting. “And Taeyong! And Kun, and Chenle, and Renjun, and Jeno, and-“

His voice begins to fade as he walks away, but he continues to list off names, nonetheless.

“Get back here!” Mark immediately chases after him, though with the cameras around, it’s more of a speed walking competition as they head back to their own seats for the moment.

Your eyes widen, a snort of amusement escaping you as you watch Johnny slowly going around to each couch to inform the Neos about this recent discovery. Mark attempts in vain to stutter out excuses, but the moment Doyoung pulls him back down onto the couch beside him, it’s clear his efforts are futile.

“Didn’t realize how many Neos wanted to talk to me.” You mumble, turning back around to face the front with a soft smile on your face.

“I know for a fact that it’s more than just the Neos.” Yunho chuckles, motioning back towards both Stray Kids and Seventeen with his head. Two groups of which that sit off to the right of them all right now.

“I still can’t believe it,” you comment, somewhat breathlessly as your eyes are drawn back to the stage in front of you.

Yeosang wants to wipe that flirty smile right off of Yuta’s face as the elder male shifts closer to you on the couch. The second Yeosang sees Yuta take your hands in his own, Yeosang can feel his nails biting into the skin of his legs even harsher than before. Why does he so badly wish that were him?

More than all of that, why do you look so awestruck?

The words Yuta speaks to you are nothing but a loud ringing in Yeosang’s ears, only getting worse when he watches you smile and nod back enthusiastically. You reply something, but that damn white noise drowns everything out. He only wishes he could actually hear what’s being said, but before he knows it, the next performance is starting.

It’s just not fair.

Yeosang is forced to watch as you settle onto the couch with Yuta beside you, a large smile painting your features as you relax into your spot. He really wishes he could enjoy the music, just as you seem to be. Only, he finds that the dull ache of his heart demands to be felt.

Why, suddenly, is it so difficult for him to breathe?

#yandere yeosang #yandere ateez #yandere kpop #yandere au #ateez scenario #ateez imagines #yeosang scenarios #ateez x y/n #ateez x you #ateez x reader #chubby reader #tall reader #kpop scenario #kpop imagines #kpop au

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I relate to that anon who misses your Jimin posts. I always wondered why you wrote more about non-rapline members than the rapline who you biased. Esp JM, JK, V, and sometimes Jin. But now that Jimin is your bias I notice you posting more about Taekook than Jimin so now we’re Jimin deprived 😭

It sucks cos I like how you write about him. I’ve been going back to your posts about Face and even your posts from before his releases Face. You were one of the first bloggers who said Jimin’s music was the one you were most looking forward to. When other people doubted him you shut that shit down with “he’s Park Jimin for goodness sake”. Is there anything you can add about his music making process though BPP? Anything at all? Maybe some screenshots like you just did for Minimoni? Thank you.

***

Sigh. Y'all...

Okay, I'm going to use a lifeline and 'phone a friend'. We'll call her N.

She's the friend I've talked about before. Below is the result of a conversation I had with N before BTS's chapter 2 began. Consider it an abridged summary of why we were looking forward to Jimin's solo work the most, as well as what we think about his creative process. I'll tie it back to FACE at the end...

--

Jimin writes the dopest melodies.

Dis-ease bridge (I still can’t believe he came up with this in less than 5 minutes)

Blood, Sweat and Tears

Friends

Christmas Love

Promise

The first time I heard Dis-ease, before I even knew Hobi wrote most of it, I just knew it was a Hoseok song from the disk-scratches and very retro old-school hiphop vibe. And so I expected it to flow a certain way, and it did. Until it got to the bridge. Dis-ease could have been a very different song and you really see this if you listen to the version with JK’s bridge which keeps a somewhat faster tempo and lower notes.

Jimin’s bridge, quite literally, elevates the whole song - it starts in a completely different octave. If you’re actually singing this song, like singing out loud, when you get to the bridge you’re forced to belt out “SICK AND TIRREEEDDDD” and “THROUGH THE FIREEEEE”, up high, real loud, with heart and feeling. The melody Jimin composed in 5 minutes is simultaneously soulful and energetic.

This is the same with other melodies he has composed such as Friends and Blood, Sweat and Tears, and others.

Jimin writes some pretty dope melodies that make me want to sing out loud.

He seems to write plain but beautiful and honest lyrics

Jimin has said writing lyrics doesn’t come easy for him and I think this is because he writes the way he speaks.

Even Namjoon who we all know writes incredibly beautiful lyrics has said this too, but I think Jimin might want or aim to write more artistically like Namjoon, but (I think) he writes lyrics the way he speaks, which is plainly and directly but carefully and very honestly. He sparingly uses metaphors unlike Tae and RM who can wonder about snow and flowers individually or uses colors like Blue and Grey to convey struggling with burn out or how the world pauses at 0 O’clock.

When people write songs the hope is to convey certain ideas or emotions. If those things are very personal, heavy or dark, songwriters often use metaphors or analogies in their lyrics to communicate them. This way, the songwriter’s personal feelings are somewhat obscured and protected by artistic interpretations. If you write literally however, there’s nowhere to hide. Everyone knows exactly what you’re thinking and I think this is why Jimin struggles with lyrics.

Jimin writes very literally and this personally appeals to me a lot. Take for instance, how Jimin wrote Lie:

“순결했던 날 찾아줘 Please find me who was innocent

이 거짓 속에 헤어날 수 없어 I can’t free myself from these lies

내 웃음을 돌려놔줘 Please bring back my smile

Caught in a lie

이 지옥에서 날 꺼내줘 Please take me out of this hell

이 고통에서 헤어날 수 없어 I can’t free myself from this pain”

(translation credit: Doolset)

There’s nothing metaphorical about this. He’s literally going through hell and he tells you that very plainly as much. The only way to maintain some ambiguity in the whole song is to never mention what the Lie actually is. And so he never does.

*

Jimin seems to write more songs than we think. For example, when talking about how Friends came to be, he mentioned he was working on 3 songs which he casually showed to Bang PD just for kicks while they were touring three years ago. Two of those songs were mostly finished and the most incomplete song was the third one which PD liked most and worked with Jimin to complete, and that song became Friends - track 15 on the Map of The Soul 7 album.

For their BE album Jimin mentioned how he wrote three new songs for the title track but they weren’t selected. So, Jimin has likely just got these songs sitting somewhere, much like how Yoongi was sitting on Telepathy for years before releasing it with BE.

Whether we’ll ever hear these songs is another story, but if he ever does release them I’m sure I’ll be singing my heart out alongside him.

--

Of course, since Jimin released FACE, you can judge for yourself how many of these points hold up. It's especially striking for me how Jimin wrote the lyrics in Alone, Set Me Free Pt 2, and Face-off mostly literally. For anyone who hasn't read it yet, here's some selected posts on FACE.

#I hope this scratches that itch for you Anon #jimin #park jimin #writings from N and BPP #bts

[kooktrash]

I'm struggling to process his smoking, but not for reasons most people are complaining about. I lost my grandma at a young age to emphysema. The only memories I really have of her are her oxygen tanks all over her home. She couldn't even leave her house because she was oxygen dependent. My uncle has emphysema and it's hard seeing him go through really bad coughing spells. There have been times where I thought he was going to pass out from coughing so hard. My parents have been heavy smokers for 40+ years, so I'm worried about them too. My mom's lips have ugly brown stains on them from all the smoking. My uncle's fingernails are stained brown. All of their teeth are stained brown. It's really hard seeing the people you love look like that and die from that.

Aside from that, I had first hand experience what living with smokers is really like. It's not a glamorous lifestyle. I lived at home with my parents for about 25 years. There is nothing worse than watching the pretty color you picked for your walls in your bedroom turn brown within a year of painting. There is nothing worse than picking up a picture frame of you and your best friend and feeling how sticky it is from nicotine. It covers everything and turns it all brown and sticky. And washing it? Forget about it. Just throw it away. And there is nothing worse than at 13/14 years old going to a friend's birthday party and your friends asking why you smell like an ashtray. And there's nothing worse than your friends not wanting to come to your house because of how bad the smell of smoke. I can't tell you how alienated I felt as a teenager because all of my friends hated the smell of smoke. My parents were the only smoking parents out of my friend group.

All I have are bad memories relating to people smoking. It led to a lot of embarrassment for me. So for me to see JK smoking, all I picture is him at 50 years old looking like my parents and uncle with their stained lips, teeth and fingernails, or worse, being oxygen dependent and dying like my grandma. It's very hard for me to process that JK isn't going to turn out like that. I just keep seeing the negative side of it, and the images are horrifying to me.

I know that he is a grown adult that is well aware of the risks of smoking. It's his decision to ignore those risks. I'm not about to parent him. I don't even know him, so my opinion doesn't matter to him. I hope he's smoking casually, or socially with friends. I hope he's not smoking several packs a day like my family members do. I know how important singing is to him, and I want him to have a happy, healthy, successful career. I don't want to see his career cut short because of the decisions he made in his 20s. I wish he would not only think about today, but also think 10, 20, 30 years down the line. Your body does not stay young forever. The things you do when you're young affect you greatly as you age. Once you hit your 40s and 50s, you wind up regretting a lot of stuff you did in your 20s. Trust me, I know from experience. It's true.

None of what I've said will ever change the way I adore him. I think he is an amazing person, and a wonderful singer. He will always be my bias. I will never abandon him as a fan. I will always support him. But I don't have to support or like every decision he makes. We are all unique and we all have different opinions because we have experienced different things in life. For me, smoking has always been negative. So I come at his smoking from a negative point of view. Somehow I will have to accept it and move on and not let it bother me so much. But for now it's fresh in my mind and bothering me. I hope you can understand why I feel the way I feel.

i totally get it and this is just my opinion now but I’ve also always been surrounded by smokers all my life and I guess for ME I just don’t think of it as that big of a deal. Not to mention, most of us already knew that he vaped and like we knew Taehyung did too y’know and i think Yoongi but im not sure, I guess I just don’t see how it’s that big of a surprise to some [not saying you <3] to see him smoke and then attack him for it. he’s grown and he knows the dangers of smoking and like you don’t have to support his decisions but it’s the people villainizehim for a norm thing that drive me nuts

#‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ inbox ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙𖤐

[foxymoxynoona]

I'll admit I'm struggling with this story, lol. I'm trying to figure out your plan, and not-so-secretly love that I can't. One thing I have noticed, and it might just be my sharp JK bias, but other than when Sasha dumped him, it almost feels like he's always the "bad guy", the one doing stupid shit that causes problems for them. So much so that when I read these other asks, most readers are usually on Sashs's "side" of whatever the current conflict is. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm waiting for something to make me understand why she loves him and stays with him. Sometimes the relationship feels uneven. Yet I know it's not and that she most definitely has her issues. But, he has to have issues too, right? The way he grew up in the spotlight, privileged, prodigious, but also imprisoned in a lot of ways. I don't know what I'm saying here exactly, but I just wonder if his acting out/rebelliousness needs some addressing? If maybe he wanted to be caught? I'm sorry for rambling. I'm avoiding going back to work. Can't wait for what you have planned, as always.

😎 It's great fun watching the tide go back and forth and often eddy into division about who's giving more or causing more problems or pulling more of their weight. There are definitely plenty of "why is she with him" comments but also just about as many "she's holding out on him" comments, etc etc. You could say that Sasha has some deeper attachment issues that impact the relationship while JK is more likely to make short-sighted mistakes, but there are also examples of the opposite for both of them. Truly a mess, haha!

I think I've mentioned before, I think Flux was a lot of rapid growth for Sasha due to her internal conflicts imploding. My Matryoshka leans more into Jungkook's struggles, which surfaced in the last book when he basically melted down over their breakup but were sort of tamped down as he focused on Sasha. Many readers had commented about feeling like Jungkook didn't actually realize or address just how much he struggled in Flux --and here we are in My Matryoshka seeing more things bubble, some of which are his own doing and some of which are a result of his career/lifestyle. He's been pushing boundaries more and more over time as he tries to develop a sense of control and his own identity. It makes sense Sasha is a boundary he'll push against too --and arguably that can be a positive thing, for him to feel confident and secure enough to test that relationship, but the context of boundary pushing is not necessarily... comfortable, let's say.

I think what I'm trying to say is, sometimes "bad" (rebellious, acting out, however you want to phrase it) behavior has a really important ,valuable developmental reason. Look at toddlers and teenagers and the hell they can put their loved ones through 😂 Originally Sasha was part of his boundary pushing, then she became a boundary to push against, and so on.

As for the question "why does she love him/be with him" or the reverse comes up a lot with readers and it's very interesting to me. Why is anyone with the person they're with? Some blend of ilogical emotion/attachment, careful evaluation, choice, and stubbornness despite the difficulties. I suppose there are relationships where things are only ever easy, but for many in long term relationships there are going to be rough patches and it comes down to the individuals in the relationship and how they decide for themselves what's worth staying for or when it's time to leave. From my own personal experience, life can get hard in ways it's impossible to predict, and the impact that past trauma can have on a relationship can be really, really hard to work through on top of that. Hard doesn't necessarily mean not worth it!

It makes sense that we spend a great deal of time evaluating the relationships we see in stories to decide our own boundaries and needs. In this case, I do have a master plan of what I'm trying to convey with their relationship, but it's a long term message. Sometimes I'm so impatient and wish I could just skip ahead or give the answers, but the journey is part of it 😎 So we will all have to be patient and live it.

Trust me, it's harder for me to be patient hahah

#asks #my matryoshka #secret song series

[moonstone27ls]

Unicorn Warriors Eternal ep 8...

Not gonna even give a spoiler warning because... its going on an old trope thats annoying the hell out of me... actually two but I’ll get to that in a minute.

So several twists in turns with this. Good fight scenes. I actually applaud them trying to give Edred’s character some depth. By questioning/and even looking scared about their future. Soooo...  obviously we all know the Evil’s not dead. I do believe (probably possessed) Merlin when he said it was Otto. Otto’s character was very suspicious. But I don’t think either one is the evil. I think the “Evil” has agents. Fox was one of them, she’s eliminated or been replaced. Otto couldn’t (or probably wasn’t the main target) do the job and so now its Merlin. But I wonder will they have to kill Merlin? Or can Merlin get set free? Maybe...

Though I’ll be honest the factor that it went after Melinda. STILL makes me think her mother’s in there. She’s either fused or part of the “Evil” because that was always her ultimate goal to remove her magic.  

Soooo... Winston is back.. werewolf not shocked. I have mixed feelings. I know earlier I said he could be of help. But... I think the problem is the execution. There’s just a few problems in general. I don’t know if its the writing, planning, or Tartakovsky.... he never has been the BEST at romances. (Samurai Jack, *coughs the conception of Spear’s daughter* awkwardddd)

But okay gonna say it again... I FREAKIN’ HATE LOVE TRIANGLES. They bring out the worse in every character. Now before some Winston shipper gets on my ass, gonna say shutup.(sorry/not sorry) I love Edred, I GEUNINELY love this character. I want more development. But this doesn’t bring out his good side.

Argument wise as to him getting bit... its a little of all three. Melinda/or Emma?(talk on that later) didn’t have full control/ Edred probably should have at least put him closer/and Winston ... BECAUSE YOU ARE A STUPID IDIOT WHO SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING OBVIOUS DANGER/AND THERE IS NO WAY YOU ARE THAT FAST. Guy can’t even beat Alfie/Seng at soccer so no not buying that. Their argument is getting tiresome. And while I get Melinda/Emma? is confused I’m like “GOD GIRL SMACK THEM BOTH AND SAY “I’M NOT PROPERTY”.

As for their fight... uhh both’s to blame. And yes I’m being bias, Winston has been PURPOSELY poking at him. But I also get that Edred doesn’t fully understand, I think he’s trying but he’s not all there. Melinda/Emma are sorta cosharing the helm. So yes naturally he would get pissed to hear a cocky little twit brag that his wife(I’m assuming they married/or would have?) is with another.

And before someone again bites my ass, I’m not ignoring his behavior. Yes but as I said love triangles bring out THE WORSE in a character. Its why I couldn’t enjoy Legend of Korra/or SVTFOE. Plus again, Edred is starting to realize that they are... in very AWKWARD situations. Because again I mentioned he’s realizing the bigger picture. They are suppose to be in those bodies temporarily, they never planned/nor wanted to stay in control and hold those incarnations hostage.

But I’ll restate this, I’m getting SICK AND TIRED OF WINSTON. Winston have some actual character development.HAVE SOME GODDAMN AWARENESS THAT THIS IS BIGGER THAN YOU! ITS NOT A GODDAMN GAME!

But thats why I sorta am not on board with him joining the team. There is no ah-ha moment. There is no real development because the writing is not consistent. Again I dunno if its the writing/or Tartakovsky, but one minute Winston goes from typical “werewolf monster”. To being fully self aware. Now I could have found that episode more enjoyable IF Winston had actually struggled with his ability. But the story flipflops. Heck a part of me is almost convinced he’s faking feralness just to make Emma come back to him.

And why? Okay first scene, he’s eating/scaring people yes. But he stops when he sees Melinda. Heck him shifting back/and forth from the moon. Now I could have gone with that. But he clearly shows control when they’re with Merlin and when he starts a fight with Edred. When Emma/Melinda screams he VOCALLY says her name. (sorry if I’m rambling)

The point is there is NO STRUGGLE. We don’t see it or get it.  I would hope we’ll get some actual development next ep but I dunno considering they only have two eps left. The story can not decide what Winston is. Just makes him look like some hellbent lover determined to get Emma back and remove his competition (yes I’m calling it he would have killed Edred if he got the chance).

I wanted some ACTUAL story with this. Not more of Winston being in the way/love triangle/ she’s MINE FOREVER, SHE LOVES ONLY ME. Its so goddamn annoying.

In my opinion (again dunno the circumstances). I would have liked to see Winston struggle with this. Actually act like he was claiming to be. Struggling to stop himself from even hurting Emma. Emma/or Edred would have to talk. SOME COMPROMISE. Let Winston actually see that Edred does genuinely love Melinda. That this isn’t some love triangle/rectangle? they are just in a loop they had no choice but to say yes to. Now one could argue he sorta had that in his argument with Edred... but I don’t count that.

Cause it was brief. There was no actual worrying. Heck I would have liked it if he looked at Edred and been all “Okay you’re so smart... this had happened to you. Would Melinda still want you? How would you approach this?”. Actually have them do something OTHER than fighting over a girl.

Then there’s Melinda... or Emma? No I’m not complaining about them. More of their situation. There’s also a lack of consistency in their storyline. We can all come to an agreement, that to a degree these reincarnated spirits are not.... “fully baked” (sorry for that analogy I couldn’t think of a better comparison). 

Okay I get that. Thats why Alfie is hippy/sorta going with the flow with his dual partnership. Edred has no full strength. And Emma was in partial control. But again it comes to mind.... how much in control is Melinda in? And why can’t she remember everything? In the beginning I thought it was because Emma was trying to fight for control. Thus we had that whole her literally arguing with Melinda to fight those statues.

But... here’s where the consistency is bothering me. She literally had an argument with Melinda in the spiritual plane or whatever. Thats the Melinda we know. And to a degree she’s still there. I even think she was there when she confronted her dad. What bothers me is that spirit wise when she had to go back to Emma. She SAW EDRED, she recognized him. That is HER LOVER, the same way Emma/Winston see each other.

So if we have this why is Melinda pushing her lover away? Why can’t she remember her life moments with Edred? Some are coming back... but hmmm... is it again she’s not fully baked?/because she shares duality with Emma? 

I just I don’t feel Tartakovsky would be showing all their past and had that last episode with flashbacks of their lovestory IF this wasn’t real. I know Winston was saying it to goad Edred. But I don’t believe Melinda’s “in love with Winston”. I think whe its Winston, thats Emma at the helm. But a part of me wishes I could hear them talk about Edred/talk about how this love rectangle is problematic/ I wanna see MELINDA (not Emma) share her moments again with Edred.

Because again I don’t think  Tartakovsky would be showing us this if he thought Melinda/Edred were a doomed relationship. I feel like this is to cement/ “yeah they’re a thing. Its not puppy love either”.

I dunno, but then again this is all an allergory for him about growing up/adulthood/changing blahblah. Anddddd Tartakovsky’s a great show giver but not the best at romance. Sooo whoooo knows. I just wish this love drama would end XD

#unicorn warriors eternal

[journeys-debut]

Wha—what is a lightstick? PC? What is—why would we collect plastic? Birthday? In a cafe??? Free..bie?

THERE IS A KPOP CONVENTION AT THE ANIME EXPO PLACE?

HEELLLLLP

*record scratch*

*Freeze frame*

Yep, that’s me. (Not really.) Freaking out over boys a million miles away. I bet you’re wondering how I got here.

Hi I’m Journey, nice to meet you!

So here’s the thing: I’m brand new to K-Pop fandom.

I’m not new to fandom (anime, books, etc.) and I’m not new to K-Pop (in that I’ve always been aware of it; listen to some of the music; I have friends w/in the fandom, etc.) But I have never been in the K-Pop fandom—that all changed w/ Cha Woongki. 

One day, I'm scrolling through Tiktok and see this:

and I’m like it’s giving

queer~,

it’s giving

Reality TV~.

Already my two favorite things. So, I search up the source material, and boom: Boys Planet pops up. 

I jumped right in, wondering if I’d even be into it (Because I have a short attention span when it comes to tv sometimes)—

I got hooked.

Cute, talented guys around my age?

Also some very much giving girlypop?

ALSO competing?

(The survival aspect killed me sometimes as an empath. Stop emotionally destroying those boys please.)

I can’t remember when I started watching the show...maybe half way through the season airing? But I immediately jumped into live voting.

I was super excited, and even thought, "if some of my Top Picks make it into this little group...

...will I be stanning a K-Pop group?"

Then it happened. I went from juggling a few Top Picks, to finding the one.

My BIAS* (which I did not know at the time, because what is K-POP?):

Seok Matthew.

I was like... "him. I’m rooting for that one. I love his talent, he's super freaking cute, and I’m sad when he gets sad on the show."

...and right on time. Because, now, instead of having the option to vote for three Top Picks on the app...we could only vote for one. 

And I was finding that a lot of fans on social media weren’t struggling to select one. It seemed like every fan had one person they really were devoted to /excited about / cheering on. And I was like... "Well, that’s how I feel about Seok Matthew."

I mean, this happens all the time with Reality TV shows, right? We have a fave and we root for them with fellow fans. And maybe even vote.

But the energy of this—felt different.

Only 9 out of 18 guys were going to make it into that debut group**. It all was riding on the votes.

We, as fans, literally had their dreams in our hands.

There were Twitter polls where fans were exchanging and buying votes. Or working with fans of already debuted groups.

There will billboard ads across bus stations and on the sides of buildings advertising top picks. 

There was even this crazy moment where the fans decided who got the best part in the finale performance...all through YouTube streams?! As in, all the competing boys performed the part, and the video with the most views + likes would be awarded the part.

(It was CRAZY. Seok Matthew has just gone through a sad moment on the show and had been dealing with a lot of negative rumors. So, Seokryudans*** were PISSED. All that stress/defensiveness blew up, and w/in a day, the fandom got his views super high.

But get this? One of the most popular boys on the show [rightfully so, we love him] has a HUGE fandom, so they started competing with us Seokryudans.

Like, it was meant to be an 8 person battle, but the competition was ONLY between Zhang Hao and Matthew.

We were in the trenches. Streaming in the millions. SCREAM TYPING on social media.

Hao won.

(I’m almost over it.)

Anyway, so that crazy streaming war? Think of that vibe, but times it by 100000000—because this time we weren’t voting on a part.

We were voting on who debuted.**

We were voting on who got to follow their dreams versus who would literally have go back to their daily lives and struggles / head home / leave the country. 

It was intense.

...

Matthew debuted in the group!

 And two other Top Picks of mine: Gunwook and Hanbin debuted, too.

(*Moment of silence for some of my other faves that didn't survive this time around...

...including the icon, the legend, the one that started it all for me:

)

So, many talented boys didn't make it. But Gunwook, Hanbin, and the LOML Seok Matthew did!

And, throughout the transition from Boys Planet to the new group preparing to debut (through a lot of Tiktoks, birthday lives, and magazine covers, I’ve gotten to really fall for the charms of all the boys in the group—and now I really do love ZEROABASEONE.

And that’s when it hit me:

 I…

...really love a K-Pop group?

As in the background on my phone? As in my previous hyper fixation (*cough* My Hero Academia *cough*) almost replaced??

WHAT???

At least with previous hyper fixations, I had something to jump off of. MHA? Great, I know anime and cosplay.

Thai Drama? Yeah, you know, I’ve watched foreign TV shows before. I can read captions, I get it.

UlTING**** a K-Pop group? Wha—what is a lightstick? PC? What is—why would we collect plastic? Birthday? In a cafe??? Free..bie?

THERE IS A KPOP CONVENTION AT THE ANIME EXPO PLACE?

HEELLLLLP

*record scratch*

*freeze frame*

(Yep, that’s me. Newly formed K-Pop girlie, with only one K-Pop group...that’s she's obsessed with.

ZEROBASEONE is debuting as a new group, and I’m debuting as a new K-Pop fan.

This is Journey’s Debut.

...Let’s see how this goes. <3 0_1

.

.

.

BONUS: I will be keeping K-Pop Logs for new vocabulary I learn / pickup / discover within the fandom, and end up using on the blog.

~

K-POP B/LOG:

*BIAS - A favorite member within a group.

**DEBUT - Though “debut” is a word used for music genres other than K-pop, it's often used in K-pop to refer to a trainee who has transitioned to an idol by releasing their first official single (either as a soloist or in a group) or performing in public for the first time.

***Seokryudans - Name of Seok Matthew fandom; a play on the Korean word for pomegranate (seongnyu) and Seok.

****ULT - A bias refers to your favorite member, but it can change through time. Meanwhile, an ULT, short for "Ultimate," is that group or member who's your top favorite no matter how many idols and groups you like in the future.

~

More ways to follow the Journey!

#JOURNEY'SDEBUT #JD #ZEROBASEONE #ZB1 #sung hanbin #zhang hao #kim jiwoong #kim taerae #park gunwook #han yujin #kim gyuvin #seok matthew #ricky #제로베이스원 #YOUTHINTHESHADE #InBloom #0_1

[seokjinsonlyone]

BTS Baby-daddy discussion:

I love that you opened this discussion because I have thought about this far too much and am stoked to share my take:

First of all, your reasons and assessment were highly sound.

Secondly, for my baby-daddy I choose Yoongi.

So, non-idol AU he's still a producer. And probably a rapper. I'm so certain he would have still taken that path and made it (though probably with less notoriety). He would be a lower-key celebrity who had more time for things like family and could still show his face at the local park without causing a riot. I also feel that provided he surrounded himself with good people like he did in BTS, he would have eventually still become the very healthy version of himself that he is today. That being said, why do I choose him? Okay, yes, he's my bias and I will probably be single forever because I'm practically in love with him, but also I have two major reasons:

He would be an amazing father. He would be loving, and nurturing, and committed, and responsible. Everything I've ever heard him say about his probable parenting style has sent me straight into the deep end of delululand. And even if he wasn't your romantic partner, he would still be a wonderful person to co-parent with because he's just so fucking respectful and so desirous to understand others and exist well alongside them. I also feel like he's the smartest financially, and your child would never want for anything, no matter the state of global economics.

ALSO, I am convinced that he is most likely to fall for his baby-mama under the domestic circumstances of co-parenting. I feel like as opposed to some of the other guys, learning he was going to be a parent wouldn't be a frustration to him for more than a second. I feel like he would be really happy and excited regardless of the circumstances, especially after the baby was born. The man lives to serve others, and he's soft as hell. He would be so in love with that little baby. He also cares a lot about character, and if his baby-mama was a loving mother and he was in this co-parenting circumstance with her, I think he would fall fast and hard. He's a sentimental sap at his core. I'd give him one Chuseok with his little unplanned fam and it would be game over.

Now who would I least want as a baby-daddy? Jungkook.

Jungkook, non-idol AU is probably a pro-gamer or an athlete. I'm gonna go with professional athlete. In this universe, even if he's surrounded by people who ground him, he's a lot more cocky and self-absorbed. The man is gorgeous and good at everything. He'd have women eating out of his hand and no idol-culture rules cramping his style. I think he'd be kind of a mess.

Again, I have two major reasons besides him being less adjusted as a human:

At this point he seems like he's still growing up and learning to care for himself. I don't think he'd be prepared to care for a child. I think he would feel like his youth was cut short a bit, which, hey, I would understand. I feel like he would would think of his pre-baby days as the "glory days" and refer to them as such. I think he would love his child, but I think it would be a struggle for him to adjust to the parenting lifestyle. I think as a mothering co-parent in the situation it would sometimes (oftentimes) be like having two kids you had to keep track of.

Also: emotional whiplash. Jungkook is a flirty flirty flirt. He is also a romantic at heart. I think he'd be the kind of guy to lead you on, even if he didn't intend to. He'd always see you as a maybe and he'd blur those lines as often as he was allowed. He'd be the type to be carousing around the country and then come visit for Christmas and have you wrecking a good solid relationship you were in by ending up in bed with you because you're always gonna wish it would stick, that he would want you for keeps, that he would stay. Like, I get Christopher Hayden from Gilmore Girls vibes from this mine and that shit would fucking destroy me.

Anyway, this was way too much fun and please excuse the novel I just wrote 😅 😅 😅

I love your delulu hours! 💜

OH???? MY GOSH??????? i'm not even gon lie i may be a bit more neurotic bc i am one with mother nature rn but this made me shed a tear LSKCLSDK LIKE??????? OH???? MY GOSH?????? i agree with you completely you have completely convinced me in both directions like 100% see where you're coming from on all sides you made me think of some things i can't even write down here bc i need it to be in the build a bridge prequel i will someday actually get into AND THEN JK OH LORD THE EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH PART LIKE YO UARE SOOOOOO RIGHT BESTIE LIKE HAVING YOU ON THE HOOK ALWAYS i just this is making me so much crazier than i already am you got me flying to my wips fr so many thoughts SOOOO many of them GENUINELY i thank you for this contribution please stop by with thoughts of this nature as often as you wish

#ask #i want you to know i had to sit with this for like 20 minutes just processing everything #i wanted to keep it to myself really but no as many people as possible need to ponder these thoughts with us

[prowerprojects]

(Modern Tails anon) {Don't worry, I totally get the need to vent. We all have our feelings on things, I'll try to my best to follow up with my own word vomit.} Heh, as long as he's doing something other than typing on a pad, that's seems to be enough for some people. /s (Archie didn't exactly do him better either; with everything else that was going on in it, but at least he had a few personal shining moments in it. IDW, Modern really hasn't had a definitive story yet. One that covers all his aspects and show his future potential, not just smarts and gadgets.)

Probably doesn't help that characters with superpowers tend to have a bias, compared to more "normal" ones. (I mean, Tails isn't normal either, but I think you get what I mean. Kid genius trope struggles.)

Hmmm, probably have to chalk that up to SoA localization changes; which omit the whole bullying thing and downplayed his inventor aspects pre-Adventure/Sonic X. Early cartoons playing hard into the 'kid' side didn't help either. (Underground completely removing him for real siblings certainly was a choice after AOSTH and SatAM went on about him and Sonic being surrogate brothers. At least the OVA balanced everything.)

Yeah, some are missing the point why Nine is the way he is and his current arc. As curious as I am about potentially seeing a "main antagonist" Tails, I can't help but feel it might hinder Modern Tails' outlook more or give even further wrong impressions of his character, especially in tangent to Sonic. (Frontiers is just words until we see what happens passed this game onward. I did sneak a look at the DLC leaks, and well, let's just say a certain trend of his we keep joking about continues and leave it at that. xD)

This is what I also mean about him interacting with other characters. How would he be as THEIR partner for a while? What if he took leadership and inspire others, just like Sonic has. What does he learn from those experiences? Considering he doesn't have personal contempt for most characters, him being mostly neutral allows him to talk virtually with everyone rather civilly. Including Eggman's robots. (Ah, someone else with the Tails and Sage vision. xD I'm hoping with their similarities, it leads to a cool dymanic between them, I don't quite see them fighting each other as much as Sonic and Eggman do.)

Heh, we don't talk about Sonic's admiration of Tails very much, or how they keep each other centered and it often leads to that lopsided view. Yeah, Sonic 'raised' Tails; more as guidance than the traditional parental sense, but Tails is one of the main reasons why Sonic is still alive. Sonic values Tails' opinion, even if it doesn't always align with his. His support and planning is why Sonic can succeed in his heroism. (Sonic isn't dumb by any means and can handle himself well, BUT can you say his adventures would have gone smoothly or quickly without Tails' help? Do you not think he enjoys Tails' company regardless and supports him with all his heart? Do you think why the dude who generally prefers solitude considers this fox close enough to be described as his family? Their bond has multiple layers, years of trust and is still evolving. Focusing and giving all the credit to one side of the team is disingenuous to both.)

Thanks, anon!

I wonder if idw would do something with Tails at all... maybe in a couple of years we'll see. I have other thoughts on idw, but I should stop myself because thinking about it too long is a bit upsetting. (I wrote an entire paragraph about him in the Metal Virus but. I should really stop thinking about it)

I'm really hoping we get a Tails-centric story in that 900 issues special, and if not, at least have him be a supporting character for someone he doesn't usually interact with much (so basically anybody who isn't Sonic). I looked at the list of the writers and I honestly have no idea who I'd want to write for him, since a lot of them only did a couple of sonic stories at most.

Technically Tails does have superpowers, he can fly and he's fast... but a good chunk of the cast also has those, so it isn't something that seems so special anymore. So he only has him being a kid genius to set him apart and yeah, I guess it isn't as awe-inspiring as being able to throw cars with your mind or set things on fire.

Yep. What I was trying to say in the last post, is Tails's backstory being kind of hard to figure out just from playing the game is the reason why the western adaptations were able to change him so much in the first place. (At least that's what I meant by "that's how we ended up with Tailses who thought math was hard"). Though maybe if those adaptations did have his game backstory elements being more prominent somehow, it would have created a different image of Tails for a lot of people in the west...

Interesting that the bullying thing was included in Stay Sonic, which is what the Fleetway comics is (partially) based on, and it is a part of his backstory in the comic as well. His bullies were other foxes, just like in Origins/Prime. (Kid genius thing was not included though, hence "Pixel Brain")

(Also it's interesting that aosth started to bring in some of the aspects of his game characterization by the second half of the show. The whole episode dedicated to him being a genius, and then his technological abilities do occasionally come up later on, him fanboying over a pilot and flying a plane in another episode, people occasionally commenting on how freaky it is that he has two tails, stuff like that)

Honestly I don't know what else I could add on the Nine thing, I genuinely don't believe he would be the final antagonist. If he does end up as one, I have no idea what it says about the actual Prime Tails, how are we meant to read it? (Also I just generally have a bit of a distaste for how fandoms would see a traumatized and hurting kid, who is maybe kind of angsty and isn't the best at managing their feelings, and immediately go "Oh evil! They're soooo gonna be a villain!" I understand it could be really cathartic to see a character who's been wronged and hurt to turn the tables and be unhinged and calling the shots, but 1) often in the end it ends up being self-destructive behavior, 2) while it could be cathartic for some viewers, and technically it's a plot that has a right to exist, the fact that it's a trend that I've noticed makes me feel like people associate mentally ill teenagers with being evil, which is not great (though maybe I'm reading too much into this), 3) I just genuinely think this isn't where Prime is going)) Tails could make for a terrifying antagonist, I'm just really struggling to imagine what could actually drive him to villainy.

Tails and Sage... my first thought was "Oh they're definitely gonna make them rivals. Considering that Tails used to battle Eggman, isn't that a bit of a downgrade?" But then I actually started thinking about it, and now I want it. I have some ideas, but the actual dynamic would really depend on where they take both of those characters after Frontiers. But it could be really interesting, and more importantly, different from the rivalries that we already have!

Yes, Sonic and Tails! As much as I would love for Tails to interact with other characters, he and Sonic do have a great dynamic together. Honestly I don't think I have anything to add. It reminded me of the recent Sonic Channel story, at the end Sonic says something along the lines of Eggman being the unluckiest person in the world because of all the people not to lose their memory, it was the two of them, which means he's definitely going down!

#sonic doesn't look before he leaps not because he's reckless he just knows tails would catch him #tails #hmmm I wouldn't call this one a rant #I've chilled out #project.txt #miles tails prower #tails the fox #sonic #how much sonic trusts tails is amazing to me #it really balances out tails's own admiration of sonic #i feel like being friends for so long had influenced sonic as well. the not looking before leaping thing from before was a joke but #I do think that knowing that he always has tails in his corner does influence some of his decision-making

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

I saw a ask in another blog about how it's a possibility that jm being queer could be why the company is least interested in him. And the way it just fvcked my brain....and now I can't help but think that is the reason after all. I mean what else could it be? Why would the company have a personal vendetta against him for no apparent reason???? They know how harmful it can be for jm's career if he by circumstances or of his own volition ever comes out to the masses, so they went for their safest option aka jk - the straight generic looking kpop idol with decent vocals. But the thing is he sounds the same like every other average male idol. I feel so bad for jm....makes me wonder if he was removed from the group 8 times before debut just cause of his different dance style or...?

I struggle with calling it homophobia since Jimin is not actually out, though I know what you mean. I will use the word homophobia just in this case but for the record I wanted to say that first.

I understand the concerns if people in the company know of Jimin's sexuality and that it could be a risk if word ever got out. This is the company that didn't let Taehyung sing a love song with Jimin in 2018, and Jimin recently said he made a "special request" for the beginning of like crazy choreo. But I think this is a more practical matter, a more capitalist matter, if you will. Just to call it somehow.

I've talked before when world cup happened about Jungkook being conventionally Man and Het.

And now that I mention WC, I remembered when Set Me Free pt 2 came out, someone said "imagine what smf would've looked like at the world cup opening" and I was like... yeah. I know Jimin's album wasn't out yet, but I agree, and it's just another example that opportunities aren't always granted to the most capable.

I agree 100% that looks and appeal to a young female audience is one of the reasons Hybe could think Jungkook's going to be the next big popstar. If you look at the guys that kind of "make it" in the US music market, he fits the mold way more than Jimin does. I mean, Jungkook got Calvin Klein (and not in the Troye Sivan CK sense, but in the more classic CK sense), while Jimin got Tiffany. You don't even have to dig that deep. I personally think they're both marketable, but to different audiences and any smart company who's willing to spend money on their artists would've commercialized both. Jungkook for the straights and Jimin for the gays lolol. Joking... or am I?

I'm pretty inclined to believe this was Scooter wanting JK, tho. I'm not even sure it's hybehybe though obviously bangpd is not going to be opposed to it. It's been a while since he's had a big act, I literally hadn't heard his name since probably the time he fucked Taylor over, and JK has the looks and the voice that are basic enough to be mainstream pop. He's a safe choice. Do you see someone like Scooter managing Jimin? Literally what would he do with a Jimin. I just can't see it. I wouldn't want it either.

I know this isn't about Taylor, but I just can't help thinking how, while she was with Scooter, she was a heavily stereotyped artist and her music was limited to dramatic and crying teenage girls but she actually became more respected and even more mainstream after she parted ways with him. As someone who's not from the USA and has been a fan of Taylor since 2009, what I noticed was that she gained a lot of respect and an even wider audience with Lover.

I like Jungkook's voice, but I'm also not blinded by bias. I know Jimin's vocals can falter sometimes, as well as I know Jungkook sounds like literally every other soloist in Korea. Even worse, he actually tends to imitate other people, which has always been my pet peeve. You can go and listen to his IU covers and you'll know what I mean. Then there was also Charlie Puth saying they both sounded the same or something. So, I like his voice but I don't always like his technique and literally since Euphoria, I haven't liked the songs he sings solo.

There's time, too. Jungkook has more time than anyone else, and I bet they thought they would push him because he doesn't have to enlist as soon as everyone else, and they probably thought it'd take a couple of singles out before his career took off. Jimin proved them wrong. A worldwide successful debut is possible. So, frankly, time is another asset on Jungkook's side. It makes me wonder too if he becomes what I think Scooter wants him to be, how will that mess up BTS plans of a comeback in 2025.

I also wonder if hybe is not even trying with Jimin because they know he's going to do well anyways. They didn't get him any vocal lessons as a trainee, they continuously messed with his mental health, he didn't even sing much in the first years of BTS until they went for the more pop sound around 2017, and yet he always prevailed. Bighit literally never even tried with him. As I've said before, he always had the same opportunities as everyone else and yet he was the stand out everytime. If hybe can have a successful artist while investing the least money possible, then why would they even do something. They will always look for the most profit while spending the minimum.

[zhongrin]

I got permission♡♥♡♥

Alright so my head has been filled with many school au with the genshin man

Imagine a rival to lover where the genshin men is a transfer student and stole your place in the academics throne.

Also I'm soo sorry but somehow this turn to some brainrot dump, I swear I was just going to do some light brainrot but it suddenly became a whole hc instead (and if you wondering yes I have a bias I'm so sorry I can't help it when I'm thingking of any genshin men, my hubby he's always come up and take most of the brainrot instead of anyone else)

Alhaitham who's just causally take your 1st place and all of this attention by not even trying (man is already a A+ student, and bless with faces of art). Him Who's not bother with you at first, before you start to match his exact score, him who's annoyed that he has to share the number 1 rank with you. Him who like to see your reaction when he score a whole 0.1 point higher than you, it was a bother hearing your claim of 'I will take you down! You'll see!' Or ' hah, I'm just going easy on you!! I would've drop you to 2nd place if I were serious!' He knew very well that's not the case and you've try your best. But he was also the one suddenly become petty (being all pouty and more snarky with his word with you) when you score just a bit higher in some exam, suddenly he's is intrigued with you who label him as your sworn enemy, he was the one now to search for you (discrete and with a lot of fabricated stuff saying it's more easier for him to find you than "seeing you running along the school ground like a madman" for him) and compare his score with you. You wouldn't notice but in times you need reassurance he will willingly without a doubt, help you study in his own way of pointing mistake and make sure you got the right material for the exam(along with his little touch up note he slide in the material).

Now imagine a transfer student zhongli, he won't be in 1st on the very first day. But I can assure you it's because he's still trying to be comfortable with his new environment. Once he's comfortable enough he will start to climb his way up without a sweat, and you cant even hate him for it. Man is a walking archive, hes sound like he live for Ages with all of the knowledge he has retrained in his head. Zhongli will be the type of rival to step down if you look down after seeing you look devastated, but once you told him not to hold back.....he won't. A gentleman who will now sit beside you during lecture to help you beat him yourself, him who share his note with you when you forgot to brought yours, him who would tutor you after class (if you accept that is) when he realize you were struggling in one of the class. And you really can't seem to hate him for doing all of this thing, not when he radiates a innocent aura when he offer you help. A sign he's not doing it to mock you but simply just to help you. before you know it, you have become close enough to rely on each other, with you coming to him everyday to chat with him, listening to his story, studying with him and all sort of stuff. Before he know it he become attach to you, starting to calling you dear from time to time when your alone (definitely caught you by suprise the first time ( not him saying "why not, you are dear to me " in his handsome face and smile) you ask about the endearment he calls you), him having to always care for you and look out for you, and him beeming with happiness when he know you near with him, he's only wait for time for you to fall and show sign of acceptance to him before he can tell you what he feel about you.

Now for the worse type of transfer student, wanderer. He's the type of guy who will take the 1st spot because he can, the type of person who will not even give a care in the world when everyone is either flocking at him for his beuty and smart or hated his gut and blunt talk. Oh no, he has no interest in that, but then you came up to the picture, saying he was your sworn enemy. Trying soo hard to beat him in a test, talking back at his snide remark with other snide remark, challenging him to try harder when he realizes your catching up to him. Reminding him that he's not the only one who say something snide at people, having fun seeing you banter around with snide remark along with exposing each other flaw (in line of course, won't be there to say something that would hurt each other for real) for the whole class to hear. Oh he's very much intrigue now, not only you were now catching up, now he also has to protect his pride from your snide remark about him. He see you as his rival now, from time to time you and him would fight over who would get the highest score, who has grown taller than before (we know who at this point lmao) and seeing who has the better physics. It wouldn't get long before he start to anticipate seeing you all work up with his high score, or when you have the brightest smile when you beat him slightly in a test. Him who suddenly become more soft (without you knowing) with you, constantly tormented you for having eye bags while he look like a panda himself. with how he start to study seriously for you to not catch up with him, him who would scold mock you for not having time to eat breakfast because of studying while he grumply place a cafeteria meal in front of your desk with your favorite drink. Him who suddenly glare at anyone who talk to you, taking all of your attention from him, him who suddenly keep bringing 2 lunch when you stop bringing yours because you want to focuse on study, he who would grumble how he didn't have 2 lunch because he me made on purpose for you but because his little sister make too much ("why would I made a lunch for someone who can't even take care of themselves, hah! Be grateful my sister made a mistake! I'm simply treating you like a dumpster for my sister overflowsbad food" (obviously a lie ;) ) and he who would make sure you keep up with class with how he kick your legs to wake you up or how he would oh so gracefully lend you his note book when you forgot to bring yours. It was a clear image for the class how wanderer have seen you as someone more than just a rival, for now the class only have to wait for him to be brave enough to confess or you to finnaly notice and confess (the class even bet who will be the first to let go of their ego to finnaly confess)

crying and sobbing at al haitham and zhongli. esp zhongli bc that kinda sound so similar to my own crush-slash-rival back then sobsob.

we used to compete for 1st place throughout the years of school and i've only managed to beat him once - and boy that felt so good. he congratulated me and everything too so it was a bonus >:) the cutest thing was that we'd always sit together on classes (our school allowed free seatings) instead of sitting together with our friend groups and everyone would tease us for it but we never cared. he was super fun. we'd geek about FMA together and he'd show me his drawings and stuff. and he'd get sulky whenever another guy patted my head or pull on my arm and i'd get sulky whenever he talked to this girl who's also good at english to ask questions instead of me- jfc my romance life back then was so adorable what tf happened it's so dry now orz

(healthy) academic rival is my secret weakness aughskfjkdjdks these are all so cute... i hope yall who's still at school can have these endearing moments. ik the general trope is that school sucks and it's hell, and depending on your circumstances that's probably true. but from my experience, i still feel feel like making lasting connections is much more easier in school environment. i miss my school days. i hope you all can enjoy it at the fullest while you're there. you can't rewind time, after all.

#rin answers #rin is having tea with: reirea-002 #this was super endearing i love them altho i want to punt wanderer like bOI-

[crumblycornbread]

So here’s a little story all about how social interactions go when I speak with someone who has my personality functions but flipped and turned upside down. 😅

Hi, late 20-something INFJ here who is living in a small, sleepy Appalachian city. 🖖🏻 I’m also a master’s level social worker with a trauma informed and clinical background who recently decided to begin practicing in a medical environment. While the change of pace has been nothing less of exhilarating, there has been the occasional bump in the road while adjusting to the social environment of this workplace. I was quick to recognize/observe questionable relationships between coworkers and knew to be more assertive with my boundaries than usual. However, as always, there’s that *one* co-worker who just loves testing boundaries and thus pushing my buttons. This co-worker is no other than a middle aged ESTP who has been running from himself for as long as I’ve been breathing. So, keep reading if a story about addressing a boundary setting in the most INFJ way possible sounds interesting. (ADHD-side note: This is story is also your sign to make that decision you, fellow INFJ/human, need to better yourself… and always trust your intuition when it comes to speaking your mind.)

I feel the best stories are told when the characters have names. Emphasis on characters and not narrator. 😉 So, this ESTP deserves a name, but not just any name. It should be a name that belonged to a pretty famous INFJ: Remus Lupin. Perhaps, we can just say Lou for short because after all we’re talking about a middle aged man from West Virginia here. If you’re wondering why I feel that Lou should be named after an INFJ, let me tell you why: It is a reminder that the story and details you are about to learn about this person is not limited to a specific personality type. Everyone has their demons, or werewolves. Whatever. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Another character featured in this story is Sybil, an INFP. I actually met Sybil way before I met Lou. In fact, thanks to her I learned more than I cared to before I even met the guy. Like me, Sybil is a social worker but she’s been practicing for a bit longer than myself. She’s also much closer in age to Lou than I am. It would make complete sense for the two of them to be friends. However, unbeknownst to the two of them I had already been briefed on their horribly kept secret office romance. Sometimes I wonder if she would have told me as much as she did, if she had actually known I was much more difficult to manipulate than she predicted. Anyways, Sybil shared legends of Lou that were stained with admiration, obsession, lust, and annoyance. Girl had it bad. Lou was great at letting her feel in control through the use of his apathy. Their relationship was almost villainous. Regardless, I learned a lot from Sybil. She told me about how Lou’s bias towards people who struggle with addiction likely comes from having to overcompensate as a parent due to his ex-wife’s alcoholism. (His daughter is 5 years younger than me btw.) Repressed resentment can do a lot to a person, but I knew it could not be the source that created the wounds that afflicted Lou so apparently. Sybil is an incredibly resilient and intelligent woman, but she is incapable of seeing this man for who he really is. Whereas, I saw him for who he was the moment he said his first sentence to me.

There is nothing more irritating to me than having the ability to see so clearly through an ESTP’s bullshit while everyone is left stunned and fumbling while trying to follow their stuttering Ti. 🤬 They’re not THAT brilliant y’all, but god are those weasely fuckers good making you think otherwise. (I clearly have an almost visceral love/hate relationship with ESTPs. Please reference the Elena, Bonnie, and Damon trynamic to understand Sybil, myself, and Lou here.) On the day I was first able to put a face to Lou’s name, I think he must have grown two inches the moment he saw a new member in his audience. He flung the office door open as an entrance and I could almost smell the God complex roll off from him as he strut past me like an English Bulldog on a leash sizing up a fire hydrant. He was then of course too impatient and did not allow me the time needed to prepare in introducing myself to such organized chaos. He took it upon himself, gladly. It was quite frankly disgusting. I loved it. 😂 Lou is low key Nurse Ratchet at our place of work which is rather ironic. Our jobs are interdisciplinary in nature where we alongside and act as gatekeepers deciding who will and will not be admitted to our psychiatric unit. Though we always deflect by making the psychiatrist sound like the all great and powerful Oz. We, meaning Lou and I, are still the information gatherers and boy do we gather information differently.

“I’ll lead this one, okay,” Lou sharply spurts out as he reaches and swiftly pulls to open a privacy curtain. I think I’ve lost count how many times this man has said this to me as we prepare to assess a patient. It’s been very hard for us to establish a good working rhythm. It’s unclear to me if he’s uncomfortable with our power dynamic because I have more education while he has more experience in this position. Or, if Sybil has told him about how I prefer to take my time during assessments so I can gather as much information as possible for diagnostic purposes. I wonder this because it seems Lou likes to rush through questions because he’s already came to a conclusion before having even set eyes on the patient. He ironically voices this same frustration with other coworkers. It is glaring how blind he is to himself.

In between assessing and staffing patients to psychiatrists, Lou is bombarding me with personal questions hoping to probe himself into a debate. He’s also doing the whole damaged-goods-eliciting-rescue routine that I’m sure works on a lot ladies, like Sybil for instance. It’s not doing him any favors with me though because it’s only pissing me off. Can’t a woman just write out her note and process information so that she can come to her own conclusion in peace? 🙉 I can tell he both loves and hates that I can’t immediately agree with him. His inability to get a good read on me though seems to keep him curious and engaged. In the span of a week this man had revealed an ungodly amount of personal information to me, intentional or not. Here’s a short list of things I learned about the guy:

-His dad was a WWII veteran that was abusive “but” not nearly as abusive as father was to him.

-He was married once and has a daughter from that marriage.

-He gained two cats from the divorce and he expected me to be shocked that he had two cats for some reason.

-He was a respiratory therapist (RT) at a major trauma/research hospital in the Midwest for many years before deciding to go back to school to become a nurse, and ultimately starting his life completely over.

-I asked him to tell me about the grossest thing he had ever seen as a nurse. Ya know, expecting to have a humorous conversation about poop or something, but no. Lou proceeds to tell me three extremely gruesome and graphic trauma stories he witnessed as a RT that happened more than 10 years ago. This man- this father has witnessed more children die than any father/man/human should have ever seen. He apathetically laughed while being able to recall the sight of brain matter collecting on his shoes, completely unphased.

-He boasts of the multiple failed relationships and flings he’s encountered (many with coworkers) as if to make himself sound alluring. He regrettably tells me the story of the woman who broke him and how he’ll never be able to love again but he doesn’t know why...

What unfolds next is eerily reminiscent of the Twilight scene where Edward broods just enough to persuade Bella into saying the “V” word (and no I don’t mean virgin). Lou repeatedly and admittedly tells me he doesn’t know why he can’t fully connect/trust others, over and over. It was as if he was waiting for another response to attack and defend for the victory. But let’s just be human for a second. I’m a trauma therapist. If you probe a trauma therapist enough she’s going to say the “T” word. I looked at him square in the eye and said:

“It’s sad to me that you don’t see yourself as deserving of love and other positive feelings. Though I’m not surprised these are the results from your line of thought. If you believe, consciously or not, that you are stupid and undeserving of love you will never allow yourself to receive a love that is unconditional and long lasting. That is a self-fulfilling prophecy that prioritizes your safety over loneliness. To be completely honest, you sound like someone who has been traumatized.”

He became speechless. Suddenly, he had no rebuttal. It’s as though some of the fog had finally lifted for him. I continued:

“From what little I’ve learned about you, I’m not shocked by this. Your job as a RT was hard. You saw things no human should be made to witness. And you know what? The way you’re responding to that trauma is a completely human response. It is not your fault that you did not receive the support you needed in that profession to not still carry around some battle scars. You deserve more.”

He became very teary eyed and lost the ability to keep eye contact. I averted my gaze and began respectfully distracting myself with my note until I (finally) finished it. I felt like gloating in that moment. He spoke up a bit later to talk about his shock because he didn’t know it was even possible to become traumatized by one’s profession. We also talked about how complex trauma is and how it’s never truly “one thing”. I then covertly educated him on trauma responses and interventions/treatments while also normalizing his experience. He is one of many medical professionals who are living with PTSD. Mind you, the Covid epidemic has also exacerbated this lived experience too. Nevertheless, given the fact that Lou is a man of his age living in Appalachia and has his own particular set of life experiences, he lacked the emotional intelligence and self-compassion to sit with his pain long enough to see it for what it is and what it’s not (anger). He just needed a little direction and borrowed patience from another human. We all need that from time to time.

With all that being said, you now know that this INFJ’s response to the exhaustive boundary-testing ESTP, Lou, was to do a quick patch on some deeply rooted trauma and therefore silencing him just long enough to finish doing my fucking job. Don’t fuck with me, Lou. Listen, this bastard was brazen enough to be on a phonecall with one of his coworkers that he canoodles with (not Sybil btw) while sitting next to me in our office. He clearly underestimated the abilities of my youthful ears which meant I had to overhear a jealous woman ask about his feelings towards me, a woman he very nearly met. He responds by laughing and I can I tell from my peripheral vision he’s waiting for me to look at him but he again runs out of patience before saying, “I don’t think she has daddy issues.” I sure as hell ignored his existence after that until he later apologized for his inappropriate comment. But also- how kind of him to assume I don’t have any daddy issues after having a father that was an ESTP.

P. S. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t an ego boost to render such an argumentative person speechless and then seeing them on the verge of tears because they finally got the courage to not run from the mirror when they were really just tryna get them some. 😈

P. P. S. Casual not so casual reminder to treat people as the humans they are and not the roles they fulfill, including yourself.

#infj #infjtruths #infjproblems #infjmemes #infj feelings #infj woman #infj personality #infj stuff #estp #estp personality #mbti estp #mbti #mbti types #mbti thoughts #mbti humor #mbti things #infj mbti #the vampire diaries #personal #blog #book blog #journal #dear reader #dear diary #adhd stuff #psychology #trauma #therapy #harry potter #Harry Potter mbti

[sketchguk]

Hiiiiiii it's anjie againnnnnn. it's so good you're enjoying aapi monthhhhhhhhh. My cousins saw everywhere all at once tooooo and they loved it! Are you planning to read or watch anything else?

I loved the got 7 cb soooooo much 😭😭😭😭 my favorite song is the title song! What is your favorite??? The mv was soooo pretty and jaebeom is bias wrecking me 😭😭😭😭😭😭

You're buying albums and seeing svt live omgggggggggggg. I hope you get to see themmmm 😔 it will be soooo fun

Why is your mom making you buy shares 😭😭😭 KHkjjjjkkj i also bought some shares this month, my bro is slowing teaching me about ittt. I don't understand most of it, but I just buy whatever he says is good 😭😭😭 he probably knows I don't get it, but he doesn't say anything 😭😭😭😭 you and me are both buying shares lkjkjjkj we'll make money and go visit our bfs in Korea 😔

Ohhhh it's exams during cb season? 😔😔 That's so saaaaaad. I will also have to write exams next year , I'm struggling to pick my optional subjects 😔 I have to choose them before next monthhhh.

I miss you tooooooo ,I didn't think you would miss me :(((((((( I will probably come back to tumblr if can manage my studiessssss. I really missing being here 😭😭😭😭😭

Anjieeee 💛💛 yes, yes, I've gotten your asks !!! I'm so sorry it feels like sending a message in a bottle 💔 I like responding to messages on my laptop, but I haven't opened up Tumblr in a while T_T Pls come back to Tumblr bc I miss you !!!!!!! Or send me your whatsapp plsplspsls

Ahh last month, I read some interesting aapi books !! Along with The Joy Luck Club, I've also read Things We Lost to the Water (Eric Nguyen), Disorientation (Elaine Hsieh Chou), Whereabouts (Jhumpa Lahiri), and the Kiss Quotient (Helen Hoang). I also tried audiobooks for the first time because my ebook website wasn't working. I kinda like it because I get to stare at my ceiling (with purpose). Who said I'm not productive??? Some of the books that carried over to this month is Chanel Miller's Know My Name and Murakami's Norwegian Wood. And oh boy, do I have thoughts™️ lajsdkaslk

All the got7 songs are sooo amazing. Each track is wonderful and special, and I will cherish this album like it is my baby. I love the title song, but I also realllyyy like Don't Leave Me Alone 😭 I miss them so, so muchh. Seeing them reunite fills my heart with so much joyyy. The mv for nanana was so pretty ! The sets had me in awe !!! My beautiful boys !!!!

BUT DID YOU SEE JAEBEOM CUT HIS HAIR 😭 It's a buzzcut pretty much. I'm heartbroken LOL. I didn't see that coming at all. I saw a blurry pic from a fan call, and I was like "oh jinyoung!" BUT???? I saw more pics... and I was VERY mistaken. The whiplash was real. Long haired Jae... I miss you dearly... thinking about you forever and always.

I got my svt tickets !!!! I am one step closer to giving junhui an open mouth kiss xoxo. I'll be sure to tell Soonyoung that you love him as well hehe.

I'm also waiting for my album to come in the mail !!! I think the host only received one junhui album :-( so I'm gonna fight for my life to claim that LOL. 2 seungcheol and no seok albums in the batch :-( but there are 5 joshuas... As my second bias, don't ask why he wasn't in my preference list. My heart is a free spirit, totally enamored with 20 different men

Idk why I own stocks. Trust me, we're the same LOL. Idk what I'm doing. I'll just follow what everyone else says. There are plenty people in my life who are finance dudes. They'll be happy to talk to me about it whenever I have a question :') I would try to self study the stock market, but I'm not interested at all LOL. I know this is my responsibility because they're my own finances, but... I'd rather not ;n; One day, when my investments yield real income... you best believe I will take a vacation to Asia LMAO.

What are optional subjects?? Are they like electives?? :0 I'm sure that you'll find joy in whatever course you choose !!!! Good luck studying !!! I shall be a studybug this summer as well T_T I need to get off my ass. Not sure how much more my parents can be disappointed in me, but the bar is LOW. I'm also debating if I should work part time because having spending money sounds nice 😔 But if I go back to my camp counselor job, I know it's gonna be Hell. Remember how miserable I was last year? LMAO. I'm ready to walk through the fire for my low wage, baybieee

Miss you xoxoxoo

#ask #anjie ✨

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Jimin's Got that Busan Juju + A Comment on His Photo Folio (Repost)

Anonymous: Hi BPP, I hope the concert was wonderful and everything you asked for. I would really like to know your opinion/analysis about my query below because I started with BTS last year and I am still struggling to figure this out.

So before I started with BTS, the one person whose name I constantly heard was Jimin. Some of my friends who are into BTS loved him and it felt like he was everywhere so when I started with BTS I tried to avoid him. I tend to veer towards the less well known member. However, no matter how hard I tried, I always saw myself watching Jimin. It started with performances and then everything else. Now I don't think he is my bias. I often try to stay loyal to the hyung line but I somehow end up looking at Jimin. I just don't get it. What sort of magic is this? Am I noticing him because everyone else is? I am so confused about this whole situation. Like I know he is good to look at but any idea what the deal is. Lol, I sounds like a teenager with a crush. Do other people feel this as well or am I actually a teenager with a crush?

Lol even if you don't respond to this, I hope this makes you laugh.

***

It’s that Busan juju.

It’s his God-breathed visuals.

Gaia herself crafted that man to be every man, woman, and other’s dream. Athena’s rival, Aphrodite’s muse, Beyonce’s godson.

Jimin’s visuals have always been my favorite. His vocals have always been my favorite. And I’ve slowly come to accept he’s the best dancer in BTS. There was a time (mid-2018 or so) that he seemed so perfect I briefly considered the possibility he might be a sociopath.

Sometimes he falls off my radar (the rapline consistently stay on my radar) but then he pranks Hobi, says something savagely sassy, or his vocals pierce my brain like a lightning rod and he gets on my radar again.

The new ARMY recruit (non-ARMY friend who watched the Grammys) asked me recently why I don’t think of Jimin as my bias or even bias wrecker (that title belongs wholly to Jungkook), and all I could say is that he doesn’t annoy me enough to be my bias, and with how much I like Jimin, I like Yoongi a touch more, Hobi a teeny bit more, and Joon about as much as I like Jimin, maybe. Why that is exactly, I don’t know. People choose their biases for all sorts of reasons, or rather, their biases choose them.

Jimin is a bit of a special case because everybody notices him. It’s quite literally impossible not to. It’s why so many people feel threatened by this guy breathing anywhere near their biases, cause they know their biases would sooner get on one knee, or better yet, turn around and kneel with their asses in the air, for Jimin to do whatever he wants. I just need y'all to watch any of their MV reaction videos, I mean BTS reacting to themselves. Pick anyone at all. And look at their faces when Jimin comes on the screen. I almost feel embarrassed for them because it’s so obvious. Jungkook showed up in Chelsea boots during soundcheck the other day, and his energy? Hyung’s copycat indeed. They all see Jimin for what he is. Jimin himself knows what he is. I have a pet theory that one reason he’s so heavily leaned into his ‘cute, harmless, almost helpless good boy’ persona lately, is to try to seem less threatening. Most maknae line solo stans hate him to a hilariously absurd degree, because they view him as real competition. It’s why they’re so proactive with their hate, always on schedule, never missing a deadline. Some hyung-line akgaes too feel that way tbh. I’ve seen more than one person say Jimin is this generation’s Prince (the artist). And let me add something I’m working on in response to another ask about my favorite sub-unit in BTS (it’s 3J after the rapline): the 3J unit is the only unit filled with aces. You read that right. J-Hope, Jimin, and Jungkook are the true aces in BTS, it might just take some work to see it cause one of those three people goes around saying he wants to be waited on like Cleopatra taking milk baths.

Anyway, I digress.

I hate to be that person, but in your case, you sound a bit like Anthony Bridgerton talking about Kate Sharma. You can’t take your eyes off him? You end up looking only at him? Anon, you might be under the Jimin Effect. I suspect you’ve Jim-ined and cannot Jim-out, as they say.

Maybe accept it? Loving Jimin is a very enjoyable activity and I can speak from experience.

Originally posted: April 12th, 2022 8:00am

**

Repost EDIT: Reading this post now, after Jimin's photofolio teasers have dropped, made me Laugh. Out. Loud.

Y'all, I hollered. Jimin really is something else, and whatever he is, only Jimin himself knows it. The other members have a very good idea, but the full expression of Jimin is something only Jimin knows. And that makes me giggle. It makes me love him a little harder. It makes me feel things - to know that there will always be something new to learn about him, to explore with him.. it's an intoxicating feeling. It's one I feel sometimes when I think about Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok. The only criticism I have of Jimin's photo folio, is that it comes with no sound, and that's a criticism I'm making only because it's Jimin. I wish this photofolio was a film series instead. Only because I want to hear more of Jimin's vocal evolution. Imagine what he would sound like inspired by the moon's relationship with Artemis, or "freedom"...

Anyway, I hope whoever wanted a copy was able to get one. I hope the worry-toned asks I was frequently getting about Jimin, subside now. I hope his antis finally get a clue. And I hope more of us sit back and just enjoy the ride that is Park Jimin. I've said before that I think he is the most threatening person in k-pop. Lol. It's just what it is.

(He's problematic)

*

(I mean look at him)

*

*

(It's the casual arrogance for me)

*

(Qu'y a-t-il d'autre à dire ?)

Y'all, I laughed. 💜

#jimin #jimin only #repost #jimin photofolio #bts chapter 2

[folkloreguk]

💌🧸 Brother's Best Friend

A/N: Got this request a while ago and now I'm wondering why I've never written this trope before bc this was so fun??? Lmk how you liked it! x

genre: optional bias (m) x reader (f), smut, size/strength kink??, choking, dom!bias (it’s kinda playful tho), brother's best friend!au, sneaking around, play fighting, lowkey getting caught but not directly?

words: ~ 4.1 k

disclaimer: I don’t mean for the age gap to be gigantic…I’m talking about anything from 1-2 years maximum tbh!!! Anything else would be weird and I’m not about that! They’re also both obviously consenting adults!

[H/N means 'his (bias) name']

In youreyes, your first meeting had been a disaster. The new spider man movie had been released only days ago, and you were adamant on seeing it. And to your luck, your older brother and his best friend had already made plans to watch it together. As a little sister, you were treated like the baby of the family, and it didn’t matter that you were far from being an infant anymore. So naturally, your brother had been condemned by your parents to bring you along. He declared his distaste in your presence by attempting to ignore you, but you were used to that. Just like you were aware of his bad moods, you knew he could change within minutes and magically turn into the sweetest, most caring big brother you could wish for.

Whatever. You didn’t need his approval to enjoy the trip to the movie theater, you told yourself. Had it not been for his best friend, who you hadn’t seen in ages. H/N and you had never properly spoken before, and the last time you saw him he had been an awkward, prepubescent boy who had appeared at your door to pick up your brother for a playdate. There was no trace of immaturity now. Instead, it was you who had morphed into an awkward, shy mess at the sight of him.

His ‘hello’ had a warm and deep melody to it which swooped you up in his aura so suddenly, you had no time to prepare. Had his smile always been this stupidly charming? Hell, it was so bright, you had to meticulously inspect the ground every time he sent a grin your way. When before you hadn’t felt guilty for being a bother, you now sure did. What impression would you leave, trailing behind the older boys like a lost puppy? What would he take you for? The annoying little sister who didn’t have friends of her own? The mood-killer, who wouldn’t understand any of the boys’ inside jokes? The anti-social, weird girl who was obsessed with fictional men, like people loved to belittle teenage girls with normal interests?

As things turned out, his initial opinion of you was quite the opposite. If only you could have spied into his brain, it would have saved you a landslide of worry. Although your brother took up all of H/N’s attention before the movie started, he noticed you a good amount. To be precise, you blew him away at first sight. Your cute laugh won him over in a matter of seconds and he liked that your merch sweater could have been stolen straight out of his own closet. He didn’t want to feel too smug, but the way you diverted your eyes away from him whenever he looked in your direction only boosted his confidence further.

Your brother might have warned him. Stay away from her. She’s off limits for you. But not a thousand vicious, older brothers could have kept him from trying to get to you. It was up to you, after all, whether you wanted him around or not, and not to your brother. From that day on, H/N didn’t skip out on a chance to see you, even if it meant merely an exchange of a few words, or a simple greeting. And to his luck, you turned out to be equally as enraptured by him.

There was something about the untouchable, the forbidden, that attracted him to you even more. Plus, you were simply too precious to forget about. One morning, you dropped off a beanie at his place, which he had left at your house after meeting with your big brother the previous day. When he had asked if he could drive you to school as a thank you, you happily accepted. You had marked that day as the first day of your new life. First, it was harmless flirting. To be honest, you were under the impression he was merely messing with you. Because you were the cute little sister of his best friend. Because you would turn into an awkward shell of a person who had lost all ability to articulate, and your cheeks would burn as if they were on fire, whenever he charmed you.

But the flirting slowly reached newer levels, and before you knew it you were discussing your sexual fantasies over text messages and giving him bedroom eyes as you opened the front door for him. “H/N’s here!” you would then shout to your big brother. Then you would watch the two boys walk off to your brother’s room, pondering why life had to be this way for you. It wasn’t fair. Siblings were supposed to share, right? Why did you have to wait your turn until after midnight, when no one would notice, to spend time with H/N?

But to H/N, the sneaking around in the middle of the night and the secret messages you sent to each other, it all added to the excitement. Surely, there were days on which he wished he could just break the truth to your brother. The impact it could have on their friendship was enough intimidation for him to refrain, though. Things were better off this way, for now.

Today was no exception to your usual lies. When your brother asked if you would go out with him to do some shopping, you had played the victim and feigned a stomachache. Your parents wouldn’t be home all weekend. You’d have been stupid to waste a perfect opportunity like that. Who knew when you could have H/N in your bed the next time? Normally, you were restricted to his car, or to his bed in the dark of night. Yes, those places had something enticing at first glance. But the backseat of a car was only enjoyable for so many clandestine meetings. So today you notified him of your golden opportunity before your brother had even walked out the door.

The moment H/N texted you that he was outside your home, you opened the front door and dragged him to your room.

“Are you in control today, little one?” he asked, closing the bedroom door after you.

“Why are you asking that?” you replied, not wanting to talk at all but rather do so much more productive things.

“I don’t know…perhaps because you haven’t let me say a word since I came through the door,” he said.

“Right. Maybe I’m planning on tying you up, blindfolding you, and torturing you with ice and wax,” you joked in a casual tone, despite not usually requesting such graphic ideas.

“I don’t know if I’d let you do that,” he grinned with raised eyebrows. “Besides, I know you’d rather be at the receiving end of that. It’s a sweet idea, though. If we had some more time…”

“Think you could get away from me if I tied you up?” you said, but he was towering over you with the calmness of a king who knew he reigned over the situation.

“We both know I’m stronger than you, doll,” he said. You didn’t like it when boys called you weak. But you’d let it slide, knowing he was only joking and would never underestimate you outside of the bedroom. He put his lips right up to yours, so you felt his breath on them. His fingers came up to cup your face, but then slowly inched to your neck. When they closed around your neck, putting the slightest amount of pressure on your skin, you whimpered quietly.

“Need reminding?” he asked. As much pent-up frustration you had, and as much as your stomach was flipping upside down from how badly you needed him, you just had to play with him. You knew it would make for more fun.

“I think- “ you started, with a grin. Then you grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pushed him backwards, until he was stumbling. Although caught off guard, he was quick to pull you along with him as he fell onto your bed. You landed on top of him with a small squeal.

“Go on, let’s see who can throw the other off the bed first,” he teased with a superiority that only spurred you on. Then again, you would always be in the mood for the oldest childhood game you had ever known. Only now it wasn’t your brother, but his best friend you were playing against. It added a layer of excitement, and after only seconds, giggles had overtaken you as you struggled in his grip.

“No tickling is allowed,” you said. He nodded obediently with a smirk that told you he might not abide by your rules.

At first, you had attempted to hold him down by his arms. But your legs tangled, and he pushed his chest up against yours, like he was about to flip you over. Your plan seemed to be working only momentarily. You groaned a little as he grabbed your wrists swiftly and held his stance against your attempt to pull his upper body to the side.

“Cute,” he said. That’s when you realized, he was barely struggling, barely trying, even. While you were giving your most, he smirked like he was watching a kitten trying to fight a lion. It was child’s play to him, keeping you in check. Literally. With an annoying expression of amusement on his face, he let you have the upper hand for a while. Then, as if you had never had an ounce of advantage, he turned it around and pulled you into him. His eyes suggested he might just send you tumbling down onto the floor any moment now. Nonetheless, you weren’t going to give up so easily. Taking your chances, you let go of his arms and moved sideways, so you could have your go at pushing him towards the edge of the mattress.

“I don’t think so,” he said. Suddenly, he bear-hugged your body and rolled you both over. Before you could protest or defend yourself, your arm was dangling off the side of your bed and if you had moved a tiny bit further, you would have slid off the bedsheets and right onto your carpet. It was his turn to straddle you now. As if his actions hadn’t been enough declarations of his strength, he pinned your wrists to the bed above your head and gave you a challenging smirk.

“I was going to let you win, doll. But you weren’t trying hard enough,” he said. “What are you going to do about it?”

What were you going to do? He had you completely immobilized. “Just let it go, then. We get it, you’re super strong and super big and the coolest,” you said.

He seemed to take an instant liking to your declaration. “Say it again. This time minus the eye-rolling, sugar.”

“You’re stronger than me,” you said, trying to avoid the laughter that was threatening to come out. Could he read in your gaze how badly you wanted him to kiss you already? If he could, he wasn’t acting on it. Instead, he bent to the crook of your neck and spoke.

“Does it turn you on that I can overpower you?” his breath fanned your ear and you had to close your eyes to control yourself.

“Yes. Because I trust you,” you answered truthfully. The corner of his lips curled into a cocky grin.

“You know what? I think I’d rather you stay in bed with me instead of throwing you on the floor. There’s so many things we can do up here, isn’t that right, little one?” His lips brushed over your cheek and then over your lips as he spoke. The nickname had always made you weak in the knees and he knew it. When he finally enveloped your lips in a kiss, you swore you could feel an electric spark jump between the two of you. The mellowness of it turned into hunger rapidly, and as soon as his tongue flicked over your bottom lip, you whimpered like you hadn’t seen him in a year.

“Needy, are we?” he asked, running his hand up your sides and underneath your shirt. He could say that again. “Let’s get these off, then.”

The seconds in which you pulled off your clothes and couldn’t hang on his lips and feel his skin on your body should have been considered a form of torture in itself. Then, time always went by so much slower than usually.

When you had both shed off your clothes, he climbed back on top of you. Instead of straddling your hips he was now resting between your legs. There was nothing separating you from him, and it was apparent not only through the body heat that radiated off him. He reached down and whilst peppering kisses on your chest, slid his fingers through your slick arousal that was pooling in your core.

“You’re so wet,” he said in surprise, but couldn’t hide his approval and self-confidence in his voice.

“I know,” you said, rolling your eyes but simultaneously fighting the urge to moan at the smallest of touches he was teasing your with. “I’m so horny. Can’t we skip foreplay?”

“Poor doll,” he said. “I should’ve come over earlier, huh?”

“You know that wasn’t possible,” you said. With a desperate look, you pleaded him silently.

“I wanna taste you,” he said, but your put your hand on his cheek softly.

“Maybe later?” you said. “Please, I need to have you inside of me. Now.”

“You’re extra cute when you’re this needy,” he smiled. “Are there still condoms in your nightstand?”

You nodded and had never moved so fast to open a drawer in your life. Pretending to have any patience left, you waited for him to roll on the rubber.

“I love the way you look at me,” he said. “When you’re waiting for me. Could watch you for hours.”

“God, I hope you won’t. Come here, please?” you replied, making him chuckle. He lined himself up with your core, but then made no inclination to move ahead. His dark eyes and little head tilt told you everything.

“Don’t mess with me anymore,” you whined, reaching for the back of his neck to pull him closer. “Do it. H/N.”

“Beg for it.” His words twisted something in the pit of your stomach. Although you were burning with hunger, you could never say no to him. Then again, you were curious to see what would happen if you did.

“What if I don’t? Don’t you want to fuck me as much as I want it?” you challenged him. Something glinted in his eyes, and you knew you shouldn’t have even brought it up.

“I can always do this,” he said, and you followed his eyes down his body and to where he had wrapped his hand around his cock. Slowly, he jerked himself off, and you weren’t sure he was biting his lip because of the feeling or to discompose you. His small sigh should’ve been caused by you. This wasn’t what you had wanted. His tip was right by your slit. He could’ve pushed his length in so easily, and yet he wasn’t. Debating what to say, you kept your eyes trained on his hard member that looked so delicious in his hands. His deep groans rang in your ears. It didn’t take long for you to cave.

“Fuck. That should be me around you,” you said. “That should be my pussy you’re fucking and not your hands. Please.”

“Isn’t that right?” he said.

“Yes. Please, fuck me. I would feel so much better than your hands, and you know it. Please,” you whined. “I need you right now H/N. Please.”

You added another ‘please’ – for good measure – because the way his tongue darted out and licked his smirking lips could make you say anything if it would get him to fuck you.

“It’s okay, I’ll take care of you,” he said. “Think you can take me?”

“Yes, yes-, I can! Please, fuck me,” you said in a waterfall of words, and he chuckled handsomely.

“Good girl,” he said, running a gentle hand over your head. “If it’s too much you let me know.”

“As always.”

The tip of his cock gently pushed into your core, making you hold your breath as he entered you slowly. It caused you to feel every inch with every second. Your brain felt fuzzy, and you sighed gratefully at the relief.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect,” he moaned. The carefulness in his thrusts paired with his moon eyes at you only remained that way for a few seconds. Then, he straightened up and grabbed your hips to drag you in closer. You moaned helplessly when he almost pulled out completely, so slowly it almost made you crazy, only to slam his length into you until his tip brushed against the deepest spot inside of you. It was an action he repeated over and over, until you were reduced to a puddle of desperate whimpers, and you clasped the bedsheets in your hands tightly.

“You like it this way, little one?” he asked. He was apparently finding enjoyment in your reaction. How you could barely keep your eyes open, and when you did, your eyeballs threatened to roll to the back of your head. How your fingers clenched around the closest plushie, and you cradled it against your chest in bliss.

“Yes- fuck,” you said. “Feels so good.”

Of course, right as you said this, he had to change things up. His thrusts turned lazy and messy as he leaned backwards slightly. With an equally lazy demeanor, his thumb flicked over your clit, rubbing circles on it.

“Let me hear you. Say my name,” he said, and you quietly moaned his name. You adored the way it sounded, voiced like this, with barely more than a breath underneath your soft tone. Now and then, his cock slipped out of you, making you clench around nothing and furthermore had you going completely out of your mind. When he would push himself into your opening again, it felt as if it was the first time he was entering you today. Except you felt it repeatedly, each time as incredible as the previous. Your mouth hung open, rendered speechless except for the little moans and whimpers sounding from your throat. There was a familiar knot beginning to form in your stomach, tying firmer with each passing minute.

As if he could read your mind, he decided then he was done with his sweet torture of teasing you to an orgasm. You couldn’t be mad at him, though, because what he had planned was just as perfect, if not better. His hands wandered to their original place on your sides, and he began to snap his hips into yours at a faster pace. A small cry of surprise left your lips, while he only smirked at you through heavy-lidded eyes. Impulsively, you lifted your legs a little, intensifying the feeling of his member roughly dragging through your velvet walls.

“H/N, I’m so close,” you whimpered.

“Me too,” he replied, not slowing down for a second.

His broad frame towering over your body was a sight you would never get enough of and his gazes at you were hot enough that they could have stopped your heart in its tracks. A few strands of hair stuck to his forehead and there was a thin sheet of sweat on his neck. It all just made him more breathtaking to you. The slight pain from his nails digging into the skin on your waist was staggering, and you could barely wait to see the masterpiece of marks he would leave tonight.

You were a moaning mess, flying on cloud nine and simultaneously overwhelmed by his treatment of you. It clouded your mind at took over your whole body like you were made for him to fuck you. His length filled up your tight hole and he did it with such force that your whole body rocked into your mattress in a steady, fast-paced rhythm. He let go of your waist then and supported himself on his arm by the side of your head. When his other hand went to your neck you shuddered in anticipation.

“You should see yourself with my hand around your throat,” he said. “So pretty, little one.”

“We can do it in front of a mirror sometime- ,” you suggested, but were cut off at the end of the sentence as his fingers tightened on your neck. Instantly, the effect of it hit you. The lack of oxygen made your head swim in a sea of pleasure and the unrelenting desire to come. Through fluttering eyelids, you peeked up at him. The way he licked his lips and then clenched his jaw, the gorgeous shape of his collarbones and shoulders – you sometimes wondered if he was even real. Every so often he loosened his grip on you. When he did, you took gulps of air and then instantly whined for him to choke you again.

“Let go for me,” he said. “Show me your pretty face when I make you come. I’m fucking you well, aren’t I?”

You nodded as well as you could when he was gripping your throat and you couldn’t breathe properly at the moment. It didn’t matter you couldn’t talk. He was probably not expecting you to answer, either way. In a pleasure-induced trance, you closed your eyes and let it happen, like he had asked it from you. Your hazy consciousness barely registered that he was reaching his high with you. Too overcome were you, with your thighs trembling uncontrollably and your back arching off the mattress. He had let go of your neck and was riding out his own orgasm with sloppy thrusts that only sent you into another frenzy and had you whimpering his name softly. When he had finished too, he slowed down and pulled you into a gentle kiss, rubbing his nose against yours sweetly.

“That was amazing,” he said, and with a blissful hum you nodded. Your lips changed into a pout when he rolled off you and got up. You were tired of sending him back home so quickly. As he discarded the condom in the bin, you put on your most enchanting eyes, so he would have no other choice.

“Stay a little longer, please,” you asked. You knew he wanted to, as well. So although he was aware that your brother could return at any moment, he tumbled back into bed with you.

“Just for a little while,” he said. “Mhm…you’re so perfect to cuddle, baby.” His embrace was warm and his scent comforting, as he hummed a lovely melody. The soft touch of his fingers running through your hair lulled you right into a light sleep. You were awoken rather abruptly, and with half a heart attack.

“Hey Y/N, have you seen my charger- “ your brother’s voice suddenly broke through the silence and you wondered if you would have to pack up and leave the country after this sort of embarrassment.

“It’s not what it looks like,” you said, knowing well enough it was the dumbest thing you could have said. But who could blame you? You had only woken up two seconds ago.

“Really?” your brother asked. “Because I hear H/N sneak into our house so often lately, I’m starting to wonder if his parents threw him out.”

His tone was surprisingly calm.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve told you,” H/N said to your brother. “I thought you’d hate me and that we’d be over as friends.”

“I know I told you once to leave Y/N alone. But now…I guess it’s cool. She’s been in a great mood lately, and if that’s thanks to you, I think I can approve of you two. Although I’m not looking forward to being a third wheel, I think I can get used to it if I try hard enough,” your brother said. You couldn’t believe your ears, and involuntarily smiled like a fool. No more hiding. No more secrets.

“I stole your charger. I’m sorry,” you said then, making your brother roll his eyes. “It’s by the sofa in the living room.”

“Great. I needed a reason to leave anyway,” your brother said. “I might approve of you, but this situation is still too awkward. I’ll see you tomorrow, then, H/N?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” the boy in your bed said.

“You’ll see me too!” you added as a joke, as your brother already walked away from the door.

“Unfortunately I will!” your brother shouted, with the unnerving tone only a big brother could possibly muster.

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