#i get that its supposed to be a sentimental song but i feel like they could have danced a little bit idk...lol

[crucialplayer]

Thoughts on Mars placements 

!! everything is based purely on my experiences with signs, written with no other purpose than to share my observations and be unserious.

Aries mars. Practical jokes lovers, gentle touch haters. Hit u while laughing. Love the banter, sometimes a lil too much. Go for it (whatever it is) fiercely and without a single backthought. Explosive in conflict, but in a sense of crying screaming throwing up banging against the wall. 

Taurus mars. Life could be on Mars but they still be going on and on about that one thing. Sudden outbursts of anger. It might seem out of the blue but they’ve probably been brooding some hurt for a long time. They just hoped it’d go away… naturally. Also surprisingly horny. 

Gemini mars. Mind fuckers. That one guy defending polygamy «as a concept» rather too enthusiastically. Can talk their way out of hell with one leg already in the hottest boiling cauldron. I suppose it’s a placement most people will find charming at some point (says a lot about society…). 

Cancer mars. Rumors are true, the sky is blue, and they are manipulative. Watching anybody else display vulnerability is the same as watching a children’s play to them. Ur rawest and most disturbing moment? To a cancer mars its a chill Tuesday morning. Humanization of a silent treatment. 

Leo mars. You’d gather that its serious by the sheer scale of their reaction but I promise its not. 9 times out of 10 will cause a huge scene and won't be able to remember it 2 days after. Very defensive. Won't put themselves out there if they’re not guaranteed a 10-minute standing ovation. 

Virgo mars. They believe that they make sense but usually they don't. They’re calculating but it’s like they do it backwards resulting in some of the most unhinged decisions made. Want to be praised for… um… existing as they are. Kind of a menace in conflict. 

Libra mars. If u think it's hard for you to wait for them to make up their mind imagine how they feel. It’s similar to watching a plant move without a time-lapse. Cry when they’re angry. Go with the flow not because they’re chill but more cause it's easier for them. 

Scorpio mars. They ARE vengeance and I'm scared. Slash 3 tires after one fight mars. Not the person you’d try to make jokingly jealous. For further information read the lyrics to… really any Taylor Swift song. 

Sagittarius mars. Don't think before they do and think after they’ve done smth only if u make them. The kind of people that will try everything once just to know how it feels (and then present that to everyone as if they’ve found god by bungee jumping one time). Very easy to dare. Also are always checking someone out. 

Capricorn mars. Blood is cold, the heart is beating twice per minute. ISN’T IT lonely on top of the world fellas??? If u get them to like u your love language better not be words of affirmation. Instead of arguing chances are high they disappear for a while or just go into a rock regime. 

Aquarius mars. Are only attracted to intellectuals so naturally in a room full of sweet gentle people will go for the most narcissistic motherfucker out there. They’re sorta very patient but I feel maybe it's just them dissociating… Ponder a lot before making a move. 

Pisces mars. I'm afraid no one knows whats going on there. It's like they’re never actually present. Therefore often times can have a delayed reaction to smth, which people might read as passive aggression. Very sentimental, will write u a song or a poem on a second date. Also low LOW energy. 

#astro notes #astro observations #natal chart #mars placements #aries mars #taurus mars #gemini mars #cancer mars #leo mars #virgo mars #libra mars #scorpio mars #sagittarius mars #capricorn mars #aquarius mars #pisces mars #zodiac signs

[licorice-tea]

When The Tide Comes Out

Pairing: Portgas D. Ace x reader

Content: angst, fluff, h/c kind of… also kissing😽

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N: first time writing about Ace!! also i LOVE orville peck and this scenario just fit perfectly with this part of his song, “Blush”! Ace is so like… cowboy adjacent, too, so i think this kind of music is fitting for him! please enjoy and lmk what you think <3

There’s something ‘bout men that I don’t understand

You never would know how Ace did it. The constant solo traveling, having to find a new place to sleep every night, and not knowing where home is. Because, well, his home is a ship. He’s brave and responsible enough to take care of himself- you know that much- but still…

It’s a lifestyle that makes no sense to you.

On the other hand, you’ve never been one to stray far from home. You prefer to stay on your island, only going on the occasional vacation with family or friends. Still, you’ll always know where to come back to when the fun is over. And even then; you’re surrounded by people who carry the same feeling of comfort as your bed would.

Ace doesn’t have that. And he doesn’t seem to need it, either. He races around the globe in search of revenge. He calls it justice, but when you see the fire in his eyes- normally so full of warmth and comfort- you’re confused. It’s a scary look, one that you’d hate to ever see directed towards yourself. But, Ace could never direct such rage toward you. He barely gets to see you, why waste any time on bitter feelings?

Yet, he always leaves you. You’ve opened your door to him countless times; told him he was welcome to stay for as long as he wants. And every time, he chooses to leave after a night or two.

They’re always leaving wherever they’ve been

For what must be the hundredth time, you walk Ace to your front gate. You live in a nice rural area near the beach, and your front yard has its own garden and fish pond. It’s picturesque, and a home that most people (couples, specifically) could only dream of owning someday.

He hugs you tightly, burying his face in your hair with no shame.

“I miss you already.”

“Then stay.”

Ace shakes his head, surely messing up your styling, before he pulls back to face you. “You know I can’t.”

A thought tries to escape your mind, but your lips press together after a second thought. His hands brush a strand from your cheek- and you let him for a moment- but then you catch his wrist. “But you can, Ace.”

Brush it off with a shrug, I don’t know much about love

He sighs and a wince passes over his features; as if he’s in pain. “Let’s not do this right now, baby, please.”

“Don’t you baby me, Ace. You leave me alone for months on end and- and what? I’m supposed to just be content with seeing you for a few weeks out of the whole year?”

“… I’m sorry, I really am.”

This time, you’re the one to sigh and shake your head with a pained expression. “No it’s… I know what you’re doing is important to you.”

“But you’re important to me, too. You’re where home is.” The sentiment squeezes your heart- it feels like it’s about to burst.

“I know.” You try and offer a smile, so at least your last few moments together for god knows how log will be happy ones.

He laughs dryly at your obviously forced smile. Ace feels like he’s failing you, in all honesty, with no solution or viable compromise that will suit both his career as a pirate and the love he wishes to continue growing with you. “I’m not doing too great at this, am I?”

“You’re doing your best.” You pull him back in for another hug, and whisper against him. “I love you, Ace.”

He smiles into your neck. “I love you too.”

Still I give it a try now and then

You’re the first one to let go, pushing him away gently. “Go, before I try and stop you.”

His smile is strained, yet still bright and handsome. “I’ll come back sooner next time, okay?”

“You better. Or else I might have to find a replacement.”

Ace laughs and you giggle along with him. “Nah, I’m not too worried about that.” He presses a sweet kiss into your lips. “I mean it though. I want to make this work, and I want to be here with you.”

This time around, your smile is more genuine. “Then I can’t wait.”

Your hands turn his hips away from you as you playfully push him out the gate and toward the beach. “Now go so you can hurry back!”

The two of you laugh as you run down to where his raft is stationed on the shoreline.

Saddle up and ride on down

“You have my vivre card?”

“Mhm,” you pull it out of your pocket, “and you have mine?”

Ace lifts his hat to show you the card stitched onto it. “Always.”

He pushes the small boat out of the sand, and it floats in place. It’s powered by his own devil fruit, so there’s no concern of it drifting away without its owner. Who, as he turns back to you, gives you a look of longing. After a moment his face moves closer to yours, so you’re both smiling softly and nearly connected at the lips. Ace grips your waist and kisses you. It’s more passionate this time, and full of all the love and desire he has for you that he can fit into one action.

You huff in amusement. “Be safe.”

Ace nods. “I will.”

Maybe when the tide comes out

With reluctance, Ace releases his hold on your sides and wades in the shallow water. First he throws his bag on it, then lifts himself onto the deck of the Striker.

You wave goodbye, and he waves back. Theres a halo of sunlight cast from behind his dark curls and broad shoulders. Then, with a few sparks so as to get further from you and not accidentally burn you, the Striker moves further into the rising water. The realization that it’s high tide washes over you much like the waves themselves. You’re soaked up to your knees by now, but it’s no matter. You would swim across the whole ocean if only to get closer to him.

Ace and the Striker grow smaller and smaller in the distance, but you can still see his arm waving high in the air. You wave back with equal zeal, hopping up and down. His shouts of “I love you!” and “I’ll see you soon!” grow quieter, so you’re not even entirely sure when he stops.

Eventually, once he’s out of your field of vision, you turn back. You walk the same path up the beach- 2 pairs of footsteps still visible in the sand from your trip down to the shore just moments before.

Without your lover’s laughter in your ears, the creak of the gate is nearly deafening.

#fanfic #one piece x reader #one piece #one piece x you #x reader #ace x reader #portgas d ace #portgas ace x reader #portgas ace x you #portgas ace x y/n #angst #ace angst #songfic

[ppoppokari]

ladybird ~ part i

~series masterlist~

pairing~ badboy! choi yeonjun x fem!childhood friend! reader

genre~ (s) (a) (au) (f) 

featuring~  sickeningly soft yeonjun, crime, a dramatic & emotional yeonjun, protective bf vibes,  yeonjun & y/n don’t know shit about love and romance, tfw when he’s a badboy but a baby for y/n, rough sex, unprotected sex, slight dumbification, accidental creampie, porn with hella plot, use of a sex toy, wet dreams, angsty angsty emotions and actions and body worship (recieving) .

synopsis~ you were the safety pin that kept his life from falling apart at the seams, so it was only natural that yeonjun felt his heart growing every time you graced him with your presence. but it was wrong, there was no way he was going to corrupt his innocent friend, yet his mind thought otherwise. his lewd dreams were never supposed to see the light of day yet here he was hovering above you, fearing the day you would leave his arms for good...

or the one where a wish on a ladybug and a dream changes the life of a boy with an affinity for band-aids and strawberry lollipops.

word count~ 11.4k

playlists~ 🐞  💗 

a/n~ thank you @fallinforgyu for inspiring me enough to leave a six year long writers block because of your beautiful series cherry. now my amazing bunny, this is crazy because ladybird would never have existed if it wasn’t for your kindness and amazing way with words and i am truly grateful. (p.s. its me vampirateking! new blog new me).  

now this fic and the lo$er’s in love universe was a year in the making but i personally feel like it was worth it. there’s a lot in store for this series so make yourself comfortable, grab a snack or a drink and lets get this show on the road.

and in terms of the fic yeonjun’s dreams are in italics until the ending scene. the main smut scene will be in italics but it isn’t a dream and the song playing in the car is dream lover by the vaccines

You were definitely going to get him back for this.

“College is overrated as hell.”

“You were actually going to leave me y/n? Shame on you!”

“Fine, whatever...Oh where am I going? To see my new best friend Beomgyu.”

So, what did you do? You rejected your college acceptance letter, just so you could stand in the kitchen of a sticky, heat-drenched diner and witness the one man concert your best friend was putting on. 

To say your parents were disappointed would be a massive understatement, you had a lot going for you, or so they said. Sure, you were class valedictorian a few years in a row but at the end of the day that didn’t mean shit to you. You were set up for success, but that success was just another bragging right that your parents held above the heads of their associates.

It took Yeonjun a total of ten minutes to convince you to stay, and though you feigned reluctance you weren’t actually planning to leave. You could have made the decision to cut him off so he wouldn’t have to rant for the next hour, but he looked so cute. The way his forehead creased and the way he bit his lip as he tried to come up with another reason why you should stay with him was so heart-warming, so you let him continue his one-sided debate.

Sentimentalities aside it’s times like this when you questioned your decision, college was starting to look like the better option. At least Yeonjun was enjoying himself, gripping onto the spatula he swivelled his hips to the music pouring through the radio. 

“I told you I’d change even, when I knew I never could. I know that I can’t find nobody else as good as you.” When those words leave his mouth, he spins into an elegant half turn, topping it off with a wink, the energy he had today was impressive. He just about kicked your bedroom door down this morning, “Ass in the car now! You still work a job you hate and I’m hungry.” He clearly didn’t care about your frustrated groans when he aggressively ripped the curtains back. And like that you were rendered blind. Much to your dismay when you could actually see again you were met with Yeonjun’s face mere centimetres away from your own. He would have been a sight for sore eyes if he wasn’t such a pain in the ass.

“I take it you’ve got a new girlfriend?”

“Nope.”

“Got laid?”

“Definitely not.”

You quirked your brow. Choi Yeonjun, the one who openly confessed that he absolutely loathes the single life was passionately performing a song for his loyal cutlery, and he didn’t get laid? Okay.

“Well can you at least enlighten me? It looks like you have enough happiness to go around, the least you could do is share.” Yeonjun paused before grinning, he placed the spatula on the table. “I was going to leave it as a surprise, but since you insisted... Do you have any plans tonight?”

You kind of wish you never asked, even the crappy air con was caught off guard, letting out a few coughs and splutters.

“Come again?” Yeonjun rolled his eyes “You can’t tell me he doesn’t deserve it! He broke your heart and left you stranded, if he could do that to someone like you, he isn’t a good guy. Okay, how about this, I’ll take you home and I’ll do it myself.” He turns away, facing a precarious stack of plates; his lips forming into a guilty pout.

Normally if your childhood friend confesses that he had brought his trusty baseball bat to work and subsequently invited you out to wreck your ex’s car when your shift was over, you should have cut him off with a no and called for an intervention of some sort. Or at least that’s what you assumed. “Normal” was a distant memory. You had abandoned a normal life the day a scrawny boy, who donned only the best thick rimmed glasses, came to your aid after you took a tumble onto the hardwood chips scattered around the playground.

 Neither of you can recall what took place or why you were on the ground clutching your bleeding knee, the one thing you both agree on is that he was suave even back then. Out of all the things he could have done the 8-year-old reached for his bag, fishing out a pack of Doraemon bandages and a strawberry lollipop. 

At the time you didn’t think to question what he was doing, you just watched him unwrap the lollipop and tap it against your lips, a silent jest for you to say “aah”. As soon as the hard candy was in your mouth, he got to work meticulously patching up your leg while he introduced himself, giving you narration of his life and its dysfunctionality.

Maybe you were biased but there wasn’t much that had changed about the boy, well that isn’t necessarily true. If he were the main character in an over-the-top coming of age movie, he would have dramatically thrown his glasses into the trash, slicked his back his hair, stolen his dad’s leather jacket and called it a day.

 Nevertheless, the boy in front of you still held the same look of concern that he wore that day, and he still patched your bruises and scrapes up with his sickeningly sweet band-aids.  

You couldn’t help but chuckle and approach the sulking boy.  Wrapping your arms around his waist you leaned in close, lazily placing your head on his shoulder, he didn’t have to look you in the eye to sense the stupid grin on your face. 

 “Wow, you’re really committing to the silent treatment, it’s been what two minutes? You’re breaking my heart Junnie.” His eyes widen when he feels your grip on his waist tighten, he was thankful that you couldn’t see his flustered state. If you had heard the soft gasp he let out you didn’t show it. “Hey, you know I didn’t say no, it sounds like fun!”

Maybe your parents were right, he was definitely a bad influence but what they didn’t know couldn’t possibly hurt them.... right?

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

The wind traced patterns in your hair, moments before Yeonjun had any sense to tug you back into your seat. Neither drugs nor alcohol could mimic the feeling you felt, he had a habit of revving his car as if to tease you, something that was confirmed by the cocky look on his face. 

The misplaced beats of Yeonjun’s favourite song added to the dreamlike state you were in. The lyrics were a blurred frenzy to you but in his case each word was nipping at his sanity.

 Seeing you like that, a picture of perfection, brought back the feelings of guilt he felt at the diner. It wasn’t a complete lie, he was pretty stoked to be wrecking Changkyun’s car, however, he decided to omit the main source of his excitement. There were things that he just couldn’t tell you, no matter how much he wanted to let loose and spill the beans.

Sure, his own breakup had affected him, for the first time in his life he actually thought it would work out, but it didn’t. Normally he would have been out looking for a one-night stand within a day, that didn’t happen. Reality hit him hard leaving him inconsolable for weeks. While Beomgyu and the other boys refused to go near him, you were sneaking out of your window and spending the night at his house. That was when things had changed for him. 

You had both passed out on his bed after some intense mutual venting, he was certain that he had only ever viewed you in a platonic light. However, his dream said otherwise. 

“Jun, wake up, you’re having a nightmare”. Your warm voice coaxed his eyes to flutter open, he squinted in confusion, immediately realising what had happened. Shame engulfed him when he noticed the damp patch in his boxer briefs. 

“Sorry”. 

To this day he still didn’t know whether he was apologising for startling you or on behalf of his lewd dream, in that moment all he could do was swallow the lump that formed in his throat. He prayed to God that the entire situation was a once off, it wasn’t.

It was always the same dream, the one where he would wrap an arm around you while he gently coaxes you to lie down on your plush pink bedsheets. Hovering above you he would lean in and kiss you like his life depended on it. His fingers would trace your leg while he broke the connection. The moan you let out was music to his ears and your fingertips felt like silk when you reached for his arm. His needy baby was always so good to him, so he thought he would return the favour. “Ssh, I’ll make you feel good” each night you respond with the same three words, “I trust you”.

“I trust you.” Yeonjun’s eyes widen “H-huh?” His startled expression was met with your light smile “I was just saying, I trust you to not get us arrested. I know you’ll protect me; you’d be the worst friend ever if you didn’t.” “I will baby, when have I ever let you down?” the sly wink he gave you was pure ecstasy. 

Not many people could say that they had such a loving relationship with someone like Yeonjun, in your junior years of high school you had actually begged him to be your first kiss. He denied your advances and majorly cock-blocked you from himself, despite that you still chose friendship over not having him.  

Still reeling from the wink, you failed to notice the car come to a shuddering stop, within seconds Yeonjun was out of the car skipping towards the back seat. Exiting, you stopped to lean against the side of the car watching him reach for his trusty baseball bat. 

If his arched back wasn’t provocative enough you just had to notice his work uniform riding up ever so slightly, exposing his lower stomach. You did your best to overt your eyes but it was a too late, even if he didn’t see your gaze, he definitely felt it. He wiggled his hips before exiting the car with the bat “Do you like what you see y/n? I’ve been working the pole just for you.”

“You know it doesn’t count as working the pole for me if you never invite me to your shows, inviting my mum and not me? that’s a low blow Yeonjun.” “I’ll invite you if you give me a low blow...” “Shut up.”  Turning away in mock frustration you walk off in the direction of Changkyun’s house while Yeonjun trailed behind you.

Yeonjun was the only one who could make something illegal look so charming, he kept up the skip in his step, occasionally swinging his bat. He knew this neighbourhood like the back of his hand, he had lost count of the number of times he had dropped you off at Changkyun’s house. 

 The day Yeonjun had gotten his license he was officially the designated driver of his entire friend group, which consisted of you, Soobin, Beomgyu, Taehyun and Kai. He knew that the majority of you were just too lazy to drive yourselves anywhere, but he never questioned it. Despite Beomgyu spilling nearly every food and soda known to man in his car Yeonjun was still taking him on 1am  convenience store food runs.

Some time had passed and Yeonjun had begun walking backwards up the sidewalk, his foxy eyes sparkling underneath the streetlights.

There is a shift in mood when Yeonjun spots the Lexus that he had come to actively despise. In the blink of an eye your best friend approaches it with a cocky saunter, he takes a moment to run his hand through his pink locks before striking the front of the car. 

Somehow, even after the loud thud, the unassuming neighbourhood maintained its ignorance. And Yeonjun was just getting started. He is relentless, part of you feels like he has completely forgotten that he had brought you along. Whenever you got a glimpse of his eyes you could see anger, hurt, and an emotion you couldn’t quite comprehend. 

Panting, he struck one of the rear-view mirrors watching as the glass fell near his feet. You had considered grabbing the bat from his hand and ordering him to stop but there was also another part of you that wanted to rip the bat from him and gain closure by landing a swing or two of your own. You swore the thought had only crossed your mind for a few seconds at most, nevertheless, he turns to you. As if reading your mind, he beckoned you to come closer and placed the bat in your hand. “Your turn! Really stick it to that asshole.” Noticing your sudden reluctance Yeonjun chuckled and placed his hands on top of your own. 

“You’ve got this, forget you suck at baseball and follow my lead.” Placing his hands on top of yours he pulled you in so that your back was against his chest. As if he was leading you in a dance the boy swayed with you as you struck the heinous car. The boy let out a surprised laugh, part of him didn’t believe you would actually do it. His grip on your hand tightened, the only difference was that you were leading this time. 

In his mind he had every right to be smug about this moment, your boyfriend had fucked up and now he held you in his arms. If he could have had it his way, he would have pulled you in for a messy kiss as Changkyun rounded the corner to find his car totalled and his girl taken. 

“You’re doing so well bubs.”

Yeonjun hadn’t even realised that those words had left his mouth, why would he? He had recited them countless times in his hazy dreams. 

Your thighs quivered while you tried your hardest to keep going, you were about to reach your third high of the night. Despite him reassuring you that you could stop at any moment you kept going.“Ah...fuck you’re doing so well bubs.” In these moments he is never able to control himself, placing his shaking hands on your hips he flips you over crashing his lips onto yours. 

The last swing of the bat, the cherry on top, was all it took for the shrill car alarm to go off. The voyeur in him wanted to get caught just to prove a point, instead he pulled the bat out of your hand while his free hand reached for yours, and like always he ran. Yeonjun had learnt one important thing that night, that you couldn’t run as fast as he could. He was quite literally dragging you along the sidewalk, he couldn’t help but smile despite the ache that was forming in his chest when he forced himself to run faster. There probably wasn’t a need to run that fast but he was truly terrified at the thought of you getting caught. You miraculously knew how to talk yourself out of most situations, that wasn’t the thing that worried him. His main concern was with your parents.

They had made it clear on multiple occasions that they had an underlying issue with him, he was a bad influence they said, that he wasn’t going to achieve anything in life and that he would eventually want y/n in a way that would make any devout Christian clutch at their rosaries. Out of all the things your parents had claimed that was the one thing that had bothered him the most, but not anymore. Turns out that was the one thing they had gotten right.

Yeonjun collided with the car his shaking hands fumbling to open the door, huffing out a nervous laugh. “My god, why did I finally remember to lock my car?!” Yeonjun scrunched up a fist furiously slamming it at the window, as if that would magically unlock his ride. 

It’s ironic. Yeonjun had just pulled you half way across the neighbourhood just so you both wouldn’t get caught, yet here he stood struggling to make a grand getaway. 

“Yeonjun, Yeonjun, YEONJUN… sweetie just check your pockets, we need to go like, right this minute.” The word ‘sweetie’ dripping in the best kind of sarcasm.

In silent agreeance he leans the bat against the car, placing his hand in one of his pant pockets. Score.

He looks up at you with a dumb grin, dangling the keys in his hand

“Found them! What would I do without you?” 

“I know, I know, now hurry up! Unlike you I don’t get hard disobeying the law.” 

Yeonjun clicks the remote and pretty much dives into the car, pulling the bat in he brings a hand up stopping it from jabbing you in the head. Though every part of him wanted to reverse the car and trailblaze into the horizon he couldn’t pull his gaze from you. Your hair was plastered onto your forehead and your cheeks were tinged with a faint red; this wasn’t the first time he had seen you so dishevelled but he was always shocked at how good you looked. Lacking any self-restraint Yeonjun reached a hand out and brushed a piece of hair out of your eyes.  

You shoot him a ‘What now?’ look, Yeonjun smiled poking your nose “Hmphh.” Everything he felt was laced into that one sound. “I can’t believe you just did that; I mean I know your birthday is in a couple weeks but wow you really are growing up.” You reached across and slapped his arm “Ow! I meant that as a compliment.” For some reason you were slightly sceptical that he wasn’t going to make a joke at your expense. “I’m serious! You were so cool y/n, dude is going to be shaking in his Birkenstocks or whatever guys like him wear.”

Yeonjun turned the key bringing his car to life once again. “Hey I forgot; we’re going to buy a little birthday gift for my best girl tomorrow.”  “Really?! Wait who is helping you choose out a gift. No offense but I wasn’t really too keen on what Taehyun bought me last year.” You let out a devious laugh remembering your initial reaction when you had unwrapped the neatly wrapped present, you couldn’t help the look of utter disappointment that worked its way onto your face. You seriously respected Taehyun’s love of practical gifts but you probably weren’t ever going to use “the world’s smallest vacuum cleaner”, even if Taehyun insisted that your desk would thank him.

Yeonjun broke into a loud fit of laughter when he remembered the whole event that had transpired. “Maybe this year he’ll actually buy you a sex toy.” 

 “Dude stop! How was I supposed to know it was a freaking vacuum cleaner, he literally said it sucked, would bring me pleasure, make my life easier, relieve me of my stresses and would be my ‘perfect little friend’. You said it yourself! He was basically marketing a sex toy!” “No way I think that says more about you than Taehyun’s taste in gifts. But that’s beside the point “we” is us! You’re coming along for the ride.” 

He seemed so sure of his proposal, a stark contrast to your deadpan reaction. “Oh yay, sounds like fun.” Yeonjun rolled his eyes, kind of concerning since he was just about to round a corner. “Quit being so pessimistic, it’s not like you’re gonna die out of boredom or anything.” Yeonjun went quiet for some time, only taking the opportunity to speak, when he pulled up at a red traffic light. “Please!”  

Even though you failed to answer him Yeonjun wore the prettiest smile you had ever seen for the remainder of the car ride, all of his anxious thoughts remained with the wrecked car. 

“Dude you can park in the driveway you know that right?” “And face your parents? No thanks.” You frowned “Come on Yeonjun! Just drop me at the door please!”  “I’m sorry needy child, it’s a hard pass.” Though you were thoroughly disappointed Yeonjun’s gaze said enough, he wasn’t serious.You pouted at him “Yeonjunnie stop being salty” Yeonjun continued to look at you, still not answering. “Fine you win, I’ll tag along if you walk me to the front door.” Yeonjun smiled, exiting the car. Patting his work uniform down he held his hand out, eagerly awaiting yours. 

“Well, I guess we should leave it here, see you tomorrow?” He tilted his head flashing you a dreamy look, one that you swear he only ever gave to the girls he brought back to his bed. “Yeah, see you tomorrow.”  A chill made its way up your spine, you tried to convince yourself that it was thanks to the slight chill in the air, not him whipping out a cigarette just to let it hang loosely between his plush lips. “Goodnight bubs.” Your eyes widened in confusion “You aren’t coming in?” It was such a small thing, but you had come to expect Yeonjun literally walking you to your room, the only thing he drew a line at was tucking you in. “Not tonight bubs, I... I have somewhere I need to be.” It wasn’t as if this was news to you, Yeonjun had a... colourful... track record, one where he never failed to cut the night short so he could hook up with some lucky guy or girl. “Oh okay, I guess I’ll see you around then”. Yeonjun gave nothing more than a nod in agreeance before he turned on his heels and walked away. 

You tried to ignore the slight pang in your heart, you told yourself that it didn’t matter whether he had another fling or not, but you would be lying if you said the idea hadn’t bothered you. You heart felt bitter at the idea of him holding someone close, sighing you graciously flopped onto your plush pink sheets. “I think it’s my room.” you murmured to yourself scanning the pink and cream décor. “Definitely friend-zoned material.” You’re jolted out of your depressed stupor by a knock at the window, you stopped yourself from letting out a startled yelp when you caught a glimpse of his pink hair. The fact that you didn’t hear him climb up to your bedroom on the second floor was honestly impressive.

You ripped the curtains open startling the boy, he signalled for you to open your window. You slid the window open “What do you want now?” You couldn’t hide the slight irritation in your voice. “Come on don’t be like that, you forgot your smile.” His words weren’t amusing “Okay I’ll stop, but you forgot your wallet.” Yeonjun tilts his head to the side, ensuring that the smoke from his now lit cigarette wouldn’t assault your senses. He reached into his pockets fishing out your wallet passing it to you “Oh, I forgot. Close your eyes.” You closed your eyes with a huff.

 Yeonjun reached for your free hand, lovingly tracing patterns before sliding on a candy bracelet “You can open your eyes.”  You smiled down at the hard candy “What’s this for?” “Just wanted to make sure you were joining me tomorrow. See you around y/n.” With that Yeonjun departed, as soon as his feet had met the ground, he turned to look you up and down once more before walking off into the evening sun.

   ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Yeonjun shoved a glob of fries and soft serve into his mouth. “So, I was thinking of going to that one mall with the tree growing in the plaza. I saw something a couple of weeks back, made me think of you, fingers crossed it’s still there.” 

“Really? That’s awesome but you really don’t need to” It wasn’t that you thought he couldn’t afford to peruse that side of town, he probably could if he put his mind to it, but the Berrymont Mall always came across as being the rich persons paradise, you couldn’t even afford to go there yourself. “Um of course I need to, I promised it would be special this year.” Yeonjun stood with a stretch allowing his cropped sweater ride up.

You rolled your eyes at the little show he was putting on for the worker manning the register. “You can’t be serious” “I saw the extra swirl they gave me; I’m thanking them.” You shoved the last nugget into your mouth “Come on let’s go lover boy, I want that gift.” Yeonjun smiles at the lucky soul before following after you. “Y/n you do realise that I’m not giving it to you today.” He smirked at his own innuendo. “We were both done eating, I wanted to leave.”

Yeonjun swore he saw a smidge of jealousy, but he still didn’t want to believe it. You had handled your breakup so maturely, yeah you cried into his shoulder, venting about your heart being torn to pieces but besides that you seemed to move on with your life. If you were even mildly attracted to someone you didn’t show it, well maybe you did stare into his eyes more than usual or trace his fingers with yours but in his mind it all boiled down to his own wishful thinking. 

He couldn’t tell whether he had upset you but you hadn’t shown any sign of slowing down, leaving him trailing behind in the distance. “Hey y/n! I’m just checking my account!” Yeonjun ran to the ATM that stood off to the side, huffing at the sight before him.

-$5.36. 

Okay so maybe he wasn’t as wealthy as he had led you to believe, he clicked his tongue out of frustration and placed his hands on his hips. He could hear you approaching so he quickly cancelled out of everything and turned around to greet you. “Are you okay?” “Pfft yeah, I’m totally fine, just don’t want you seeing how much I have, I’m not ready to be your sugar daddy bubs. Now let’s go, got to beat the rush.”

The walk to the jewellery store was silent as Yeonjun mentally hyped himself up for the crime he was about to commit. There was no way he would miss out on getting something that he deemed as valuable as yourself.  “Did you want me to come in or?” Such a simple question made him panic.  “No! I mean, I’d love that, but it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if you followed me around the whole day. Just relax, I’ll be fifteen minutes tops.”

He wasn’t about to wait for your answer, there is no way he wanted you to witness what he was about to do. Upon entering the store Yeonjun brushed his elbow against a round bear plushie sending it tumbling to the smooth tiles. Acting the part of an innocent bystander he reached for the plushie giving it a once over ‘Cute, Kai would love this’ with that thought he resumed his nice guy act, giving a smooth charming smile he returned it to the shelf. “And I’ll be back for you later.”

Yeonjun wasted no time pushing past the crowd giving the cashier a fright as he placed his hands on the glass counter with a loud thud. “Can I help you?” “Uh sure, I’d like to buy that bracelet please.” Yeonjun pointed towards the most dazzling tennis bracelet he had ever seen, if you didn’t accept it from him, he would definitely be able to find a use for it.  

Yeonjun leaned against the counter, trying to lure the cashier in with a coy smile. “I bet it’s prettier in person” not letting his gaze falter he watched as the woman unlocked the glass cabinet. He decided to keep the conversation going to avoid suspicion “I’m surprised it’s still here; When I spotted this beauty, I knew it would be perfect for my girl.” He was too distracted by the shimmering bracelet to realise how easily the words had slipped out of his mouth. “You wouldn’t mind if I had a closer look, would you?”

Honestly, Yeonjun hadn’t expected her to cave this quickly. “It's her birthday in a couple of days so I thought I would treat her to a little something, I don’t know how to describe it but her smile is probably the cutest thing in the world, cuter than those plushies back there. Wish you could see it; I should invite you to her party.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at her bored expression.

Her expression transformed into shock as Yeonjun clasped the bracelet in his hand, turned on his heels and to ran out of the store. When he made it to the door, he tore one of the bears off of the shelf, unbothered by the rest of them being knocked to the ground.

He found you, leaning against the door, you hadn’t even registered what he was doing. Tucking the awkwardly shaped plushie under his arm and ran off in the direction of the nearest exit. You were his best friend for a reason, so without asking questions you ran after him, surprising yourself at how you managed to catch up with him this time. Yeonjun waited for you to dive into the passenger seat before bringing his car to life.

You hadn’t even managed to buckle up and Yeonjun had swerved out onto the road, already driving as if he was trying to lose somebody. You considered asking him, respectfully of course, what the fuck was going on. But before you could question him Yeonjun pulled over to the side, smiling as he replayed the event in his head, he felt so cool. 

“Sorry for leaving you behind, I nearly dropped the bear, can you imagine? I would have looked so stupid.” It was the cockiest thing you had ever heard but the sheepish grin that followed was contagious. His happiness was shortlived.

Spotting the flashing red and blue lights Yeonjun turned off the interior light and reclined his seat, gesturing for you to do the same. You responded by reclining your seat, the overload of energy coursing through you made your hands shake. Those hands were borderline offensive, he wanted to grip your hand and comfort you but for some reason his nerves got the better of him. Yeonjun turned on his side making eye contact with you, it took a mere few seconds for the police car to speed past, yet the tension in the air was thick. You shuffled closer to Yeonjun, noticing how eager you were he closed his eyes and leaned in, his heart viciously thumping against his chest.

“Yeonjun... What are you doing?” 

He had hoped that when he opened his eyes he would be met with your lips, but that wasn’t the case, instead he was met with the realisation that he was definitely jumping the gun. He cleared his throat and sat up, his mind racing as he tried to come up with a good excuse. 

“All of that for a plushie?” Yeonjun’s guilty smile fell, it would have been better if you just straight up called him out for his attempted kiss. “What no that’s not for you, that’s for Kai. Your gift is here” He points towards his crotch causing you to furrow your brows in frustration. “Can’t you be serious for one goddamn minute?! You never- “He lifted his leg pulling out the bracelet. “This is yours.” He dangled it in your face and placed it on your lap.

“I don’t want it.”

“Oh, come on! Don’t be like that.”

“Wrecking his car was one a once off Yeonjun, I told you how I feel about you doing things like this. I want to return it.” Yeonjun bit his tongue, trying his hardest to keep composed. He was cursed with a hot temper but he always kept his composure around you. “There’s no way in hell that I’m going back there, if you don’t want it, I’ll keep it.”

“You’re missing the point.”

“No y/n you’re the one missing the damn point! How could you be so fucking mad at me when I literally did this for you!”

“Well, I didn’t ask for you to do that, seriously what were you thinking Yeonjun?!”

“Whatever.”

“No, I’m actually curious, what made you think this was what I wanted?”

“I’m not doing this, I’m done talking.”

Yeonjun swings the door open and takes a step into the frosty late afternoon breeze, tears pooling at the corner of his eyes. He turns away from the car, his hand raking through his styled pink hair. You can barely hear the words that are spoken, before he kicks the hood of the car. Every single emotion he was feeling deeply etched onto his face. He was always bark and no bite, at least that’s what he was told, and it was true. There was no way he would even think of hurting you; in the time you had known him he had never once raised his voice and he wanted to keep it that way.  

Suffering from instant regret he inspected the vague dent in the hood, his car wasn’t anything awesome, merely a crappy hand-me-down from his dad. Regardless he didn’t want it bent out of shape, his fingers were centimetres away from the bruised-up metal when something caught his eye. A small red dot, a ladybug perched on the hood above where his shoe had been seconds ago. He swiped his hand, encouraging it to take flight and ultimately leave him the hell alone.  

But you were his insufferable friend who held his heart in the palm of her hand, you saw right through his act, exiting the car and pulling him into a tight hug. Which made him crumble “I’m sorry y/n, life is just really fucking stupid for me right now.” He stooped his head low letting it fall into the crook of your neck.

When Yeonjun’s tears had eventually died down you pulled away from him, he looked at you, his sweet fox eyes now resembling that of a lost puppy. He watched you as you walked over to the car and fished out a lollipop. Removing the wrapper you shoved the lollipop into his mouth, his pout becoming a thing of the past. It was then that he noticed the same little red dot that he had tried so hard to be rid of, but this time it had found an even better place to relax. Instead of shooing it away Yeonjun cups his hand gently retrieving it from your hair and presenting it to you, and for a split second, behind those gleaming eyes you swore you could see the young Doraemon fanatic in the flesh. “If you don’t want the bracelet, at least accept this wish.” Even if he was still recovering from his outburst, he still managed to draw out twin giggles from the both of you.

Clasping his hands in yours you encouraged him to unfold them, both of you tried to move your attention down to the ladybug, you found it difficult to overt your gaze. There was something there, his heart was screaming out a confession of love, but it never met the light of day. Even after the little wish took flight you were still caught up in his eyes.

“What did you wish for?”

“Like I’d ever tell you Yeonjun...what did you wish for?”

Maybe expecting a genuine answer from him was the setting the bar too high “I wished that you would have an amazing day tomorrow, how does that sound? Is that the right answer?”

   ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

None of them were prepared for the Yeonjun that waltzed into Beomgyu’s house that night, they weren’t even expecting him to show. Beomgyu had gotten used to his friend cancelling on him at the last minute, even when it was blatantly obvious that Yeonjun was pulling every excuse out of his ass in an attempt to not leave his bed. Despite this Beomgyu let Yeonjun get off scot-free, since he really wasn’t one to speak. Even if he did have the energy of a chihuahua that downed a couple of Red Bulls he was also the king of shirking responsibility at the last minute, so he let Yeonjun, his personal jester parading around as a badass, do whatever.

“YAH! Popcorn doesn’t take ten minutes!”

Beomgyu sighed at the lack of response, brushing his arms against the smooth linoleum. Winning the game of rock, paper, scissors gave him the perfect excuse to lie upside down and shout orders.  

The only reason he was still hosting movie nights was to annoy his younger friends, and while Taehyun barely reacted Beomgyu knew Kai would play along. Beomgyu started the imaginary timer, keeping in mind how long it took for Kai to respond. 

‘Six, seven, eight-’

“I told you to choose a movie!” “Fine!” 

Unfurling his body Beomgyu reached for Kai’s dvd case, the tattered smile of Mickey Mouse greeting him on the cover. With everything that had happened in the last year, it was comforting to see that Kai was still lugging it along to every movie night. Though it was none of his business, he couldn’t help but wonder if that dvd case was the reason behind Kai and his bitchlessness. Flipping through it he ignored each movie that revolved around boyhood and romance, which was half the case. Kai was always so soft, it was sickening.  Beomgyu had no idea when he started getting so sentimental, but now everything reminded him of the happier days, when they were together. Pushing back that seasonal depression he reached for Toy Story, slotting it into the dvd player his ears pricked up when he heard a car engine.

Peering through the window he recognised the familiar license plates and ran into the kitchen to find Taehyun and Kai placing their big macs and fries onto a large tray.

 They weren’t shit friends, quite the opposite actually; they had been on standby for Yeonjun most of this breakup, but even they had their limits. You hadn’t experienced dramatic until Yeonjun was the one being dramatic. They were so thankful that y/n had taken over for them so that they could have some alone time, and yeah, they had been texting him, but technically they hadn’t seen him since his last wave of post-breakup depression.

“Remember if he cries it’s Taehyun’s turn to comfort him.”  And with that Beomgyu ran to the door to greet his best friend. Much to his surprise Yeonjun greeted him with a lovesick smile, clutching a plushie to his chest.

“Sorry I’m late, I was caught up in y/n’s eyes” was what he wanted to say but instead he went with a simple “Hey, thought I’d come over.” Beomgyu, still disturbed by the sight before him silently moved to the side waiting for Yeonjun to come inside.

Taehyun and Kai had since made their return to the living room clutching a bowl of popcorn and the tray of food. “Yeonjun!”  Luckily Yeonjun was too far into his own fantasy to notice how nervous Kai was. With a wink he tossed the bear to Kai, not even reacting to Kai’s loud shriek as he scrambled to place the tray down in time to catch the bear.

Plopping down next to Beomgyu Yeonjun pokes his cheek with a grin. Somehow this felt even more draining than him crying. 

“Hope you’re not hungry, we didn’t buy an extra burger.”  

“It’s okay he ate.”

As if on cue all of the boys looked at Taehyun, who was currently slipping some fries into his burger bun.  “I saw them when I bought our food.” “Well, shit, I didn’t see you there.” Beomgyu grinned, “Didn’t think y/n was that much of a distraction.” “Shut up, it’s just birthday stuff. Anyway’s it’s pretty much sorted, the party is at her place, show up whenever after six but definitely before eight.”

 “Cool, that’s plenty of time for me to meet Soobin.”

The words seemed so casual, regardless, Yeonjun’s ears pricked when he heard that name.

“I didn’t know Soobin was in town.”

“He isn’t. He arrives tomorrow. I promised to meet him.” Yeonjun had always experienced a complex array of emotions whenever it came to the topic of Soobin, it wasn’t like he hated him, Soobin was his friend after all. It was more the fact that the wider public seemed to favour y/n and Soobin rather than Yeonjun and y/n. 

When you and Soobin were cast as Mary and Joseph Yeonjun could only sulk as he played the important role of the guy who owned the barn. Even back then he couldn’t help but detest the idea of you two being together, if he could have kicked Soobin out of the barn in a fit of fourth grade rage he would have.

Despite his jealousy Yeonjun couldn’t recall a moment where he treated you like anything other than his best friend. There was no logic in being mad at Soobin for being your date to the graduation formal, Soobin was just repaying the favour after all. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that you and Soobin won cutest couple while he was preparing himself to mourn a relationship that was nearing its end. Despite the degree of self-realisation, he possessed he was still mad. “But he said he couldn’t make it, we were all okay with him not showing I don’t get why he bothered.” The others exchanged silent glances, they knew he had some issue with Soobin lately, but they never thought they would hear those words come from Yeonjun. It was hard to even see where he was coming from lately, after that week of you sleeping at his house Yeonjun had changed drastically. 

After thinking it through Beomgyu was finally brave enough to combat Yeonjun’s harsh words. “That’s not your choice to make, y/n said she wanted him here. It was her wish. I don’t know what else to say.” “Wishes don’t always come true!”

“Look I just wanted to watch Toy Story, so you can just go away or be quiet.” Beomgyu pressed play, exhaling when the fluffy white clouds of Andy’s room came into shot. Yeonjun stirred, crossing his arms as he glared at the screen. “It actually is my choice, I’m the one organising the party not him.” Beomgyu paused the movie, clenching both his jaw and the remote. “Stop! Whats the deal? Y/n never asked you to be her gatekeeper, just give it a break.” Before Yeonjun could respond Beomgyu continued his small outburst “You can care for her but give it up, you can dream about having her but she isn’t yours.” 

Yeonjun stilled, in his mind the whole room held its breath with him. “Fucking hell, I didn’t think she noticed.” Even if he was confused, Beomgyu used that to his advantage going with the conversation. “She noticed.” Yeonjun placed his head in his hands, freaking out the entire time. “She knows it was an accident, right? It was just a weird time for me, I promise I’m not a creep.” Beomgyu assumed he would be getting an explanation but somehow it took a very confusing turn. “Yeonjun... What did you do?” “Don’t rub it in we all know about the wet dream.” Beomgyu cleared his throat before murmuring under his breath “I didn’t know about the wet dream.” 

The realisation had set in “You- oh shit.”  Yeonjun paled, so much for keeping it a secret. “Look I wouldn’t take it seriously; it happens to everyone.” Beomgyu grinned “I don’t think I’ve ever had a wet dream about you so I have to call bullshit on that.” Yeonjun caved “Look I felt like shit when I fell asleep, and she was too close, her legs and those shorts.” After his rant Yeonjun looked Beomgyu dead in the eyes “I swear to god if you tell her.” “Why are you targetting me?! What about Taehyun and Kai, they’re here too.” 

Honestly, Yeonjun forgot that his other friends were still present. Neither of them had spoken a word since he started his back and forth with Beomgyu. Kai was preoccupied with his bear and Taehyun really didn’t care. “Why should I worry about them when you’re the one with the motor mouth.” “This mouth is zipped, don’t worry about it.” It was slightly concerning how casual Beomgyu was about the entire thing, but now that was off of his chest maybe he was confident that he would be rid of his silly little dreams. Surely.

   ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

If he didn’t insist that you needed gifts from him you would have just settled for this. The bag of gifts he bought sat to the side, unopened, your focus on the empty space in the middle of your room. There was a delay before the rock music leaked through the speakers and Yeonjun slid in. His studded red jacket and slicked back hair sparkling in the morning sun that leaked through your window. 

It was no secret that you had been spending more time with him, as a result you discovered that he really was a performer. His dreams and aspirations were nothing new, in his youth all he spoke about was getting attention for his good looks and charisma. But in a town like this, if you didn’t leave you, were a nobody.  And sometimes that hurt you, Soobin was able to achieve great things and that was, well, great but that was because he left. For some reason Yeonjun chose to stay, kissing his dreams goodbye and you just wished he had more.

You would never know this but he felt he had it all when he was performing for you. No audience would ever make him feel this way.

Your gaze didn’t leave his body as it rolled in time with the sultry lyrics. 

You red leather rocket, you little foxy queen Everybody's watching, pretty little thing Baby, tell me, what's your fantasy?

It took every bit of strength to not look away from his steely gaze as he swiped his jacket off of his shoulders playing it like a guitar. Your friend was a fiend and you loved it.

His chest was heaving at the end of the routine, his “sexy” stare was broken by a wide grin. He plopped down next to you, taking time to catch his breath before he spoke. “I would ask you what you thought, but going by your face I’d say that was a good birthday present.”  I guess.” You chuckled awkwardly trying to hide just how flustered you were. “That reminds me, I think you should open these.” Using his foot to nudge the bag he brought it closer picking it up and placing it between the two of you. “You seem even more excited than I am.” “Enough talking, open.” Yeonjun pushed the bag closer to you. Swivelling yourself around you emptied the bag. 

You were surprised, no shocked was a better word. They were beautiful gifts, a music box that doubled as a jewellery box, a cloud lamp, the bracelet...that he stole. But the small pink bullet vibrator rendered you speechless. 

“This, no, Yeonjun what the hell?!” Yeonjun broke into a fit of laughter at your reaction “I know, I’m sorry it was too tempting, you were so disappointed by Tae’s gift last year. “Well, haha, funny, now take it back, it’s weird if I keep this.” “First the bracelet now this, accept my love you dummy!” Apparently, this was all just a huge joke to him, which was proved by him snatching the gift from you. “Fine if you don’t want it, I’ll have it. But let me charge it I might want to use it later.” Wiggling his brows Yeonjun crawled across to your bedside table plugging the charger into the socket before slipping the vibrator under your pillow. 

The rest of the day was quite uneventful, the vibrator disappeared into the background, nothing more than a faint afterthought. Despite the simplicity of the entire day, everything he did filled your heart an ounce at a time. Especially when he got all domestic, switching to the mature one who meticulously organised a party you would no doubt remember for the rest of your life.

You knew he had it in him, that maternal side that kept everyone in check. His long pink hair was brushed back into a messy ponytail, as he stood with his hands on his hips trying to remember where he should put the last of the balloons. He looked like somebody’s aunt, pretty. You tried to avoid making eye contact with him, hating the butterflies that erupted in your heart. Spending more time with him was a blessing and a curse. Your school-girl crush on him only grew, even though you swore to yourself you wouldn’t pursue someone after Changkyun. Both of you were broken at the same time, and maybe Yeonjun was comfortable moving on but you weren’t ready despite your internal lusting. 

Yeonjun noticed the silence, but judging by your face he didn’t want to push it. So, he opted for catching your attention through the fish tank. While you were peering into the tank after feeding them Yeonjun feigned checking the time before crouching down to meet your eyes. Nearly losing balance he steadied himself before motioning for you to smile. 

The ringing of the doorbell startled the two of you, while you sprung to your feet to meet your guests while he let himself topple to the ground. His heart dropped at the squeal of excitement you let out, followed by the familiar voice of Soobin.

Yeonjun couldn’t prevent the dry smile that graced his features, in the time spent with you, in a magical world full of domestic interactions he forgot that Soobin would be here.  Straightening his shirt he removed the hair tie, patting his pink locks down. He didn’t bother to greet the others, instead he plopped over onto the couch placing a cigarette between his lips, he was going to need it. 

The smoking wasn’t the issue, it was the glaring silence. Shortly after the guys arrived the rest of your friends poured in, despite the music and the overlapping conversations Yeonjun refused to acknowledge Soobin. He had barely left the couch, getting another drink seemed to be the only exception. Luckily Beomgyu had lured you away with the promise of finally giving you his gift, leaving the two alone. 

“Yeonjun?”

“Soobin?”

“It’s good to see you.” It was always the same, Soobin may have dyed his cotton candy blue hair black, but his endearing nature was still the same. Yeonjun on the other hand clung onto his pink hair, still refusing to give Soobin a chance. 

“I actually didn’t think you’d come back; I saw your texts and assumed you had everything you wanted.” That jab didn’t go unnoticed by the other, but Soobin was hardly stupid. Not wanting to play into Yeonjun’s pettiness he smiled carrying the conversation further. “Not everything, is it weird that I miss your chaos? Especially the whole hiding in my house after you pissed off the wrong person. How’s Nali?” Yeonjun’s throat tightened. “You missed a lot, we broke up.” He took a swig of the hitachino and chuckled “But I’m fine, I’m actually seeing someone else.”

For someone who was so skilled at lying Yeonjun had a hard time believing his own words. Soobin was going to question his friend further, but then you and Beomgyu returned, squeezing yourselves into the space between the two. You were completely oblivious to the lie you were currently supporting when you placed your head on Yeonjun’s shoulder, waiting for him to wrap his arm around you.  After you had gotten comfortable Yeonjun tapped your shoulder, once your eyes were on him, he passed you the beer. Taking a couple of sips you passed it back to him, though you thought nothing of the exchange Soobin was shocked. He had always held you in a very innocent light, he never understood how someone so gentle and kind could be so close to someone like Yeonjun. He still thought of you as the innocent friend he left a year ago, he never once thought you would ever date Yeonjun.  Yeonjun was oblivious to the awkward glances Soobin directed towards him, too preoccupied by the conversation you were having with him and the food Beomgyu had placed on the table. “Thanks man, appreciate it.” Yeonjun reached out to place a hand on Beomgyu’s shoulder both out of love and to push himself forward to grab the food Taehyun had yet to touch. Taehyun blocked the food with his hand, before Yeonjun could start whining Kai passed him his paper plate. Soobin was still confused but he pushed his questions to the side so he could take everything in, it was as if he stepped back in time, to the good old days.

  ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Yeonjun’s eyes flutter open, adjusting to his room. The darkness a soothing balm on his sore eyes. He couldn’t recall when sleep had overtaken him, or what he had even dreamt about but his heart felt heavy. Rolling onto his side he sat up a yawn ripping through his entirety. He wasn’t hung over, that much he could tell, but the sick feeling in his stomach had yet to leave him. With no thought into his actions, he managed to walk to the bathroom, still stuck in his drowsy state. 

Once in front of the mirror he was able to take everything in, starting with his messy pink hair and ending with the light scratches that trailed up his back. It was pretty ironic, he just had to give a dry chuckle. He assumed that the night he would stop having those dreams would be a cause for celebration, that wasn’t the case. Returning to his room he reached for his phone, greeted by a string of missed calls and text messages from you. He wished his mind wasn’t as selective, he forgot when he walked home, he forgot what he took from his dingy refrigerator and he forgot when he fell asleep. All of this was overtaken by a memory, the one where his dream had become a reality. 

He was incredibly sober, which at first seemed like a good idea. Being the other half of your parental duo, making sure that no one started shit or overstayed their welcome. The beer he had shared with you was the buzz that you both needed, so he was fully aware of everything, he knew just how hard he was falling for you in this moment. He distracted himself with the thumping music but once that was over and the only music was the buzzing of crickets while you sat on the roof he was doomed.

“You know Yeonjun, I think we did good. No one died, and we’re both sober as fuck.” “You make it sound like a success, to be honest that just sounds depressing.” “Hey! I said you could drink, that’s on you for being an idiot.” “Do you really think you could have handled your guests if I didn’t step in. You’re too soft.” For some reason that struck a nerve with you “Fuck off.” You followed those words with a chuckle, it wasn’t a serious thing but soft wasn’t a thing you necessarily wanted, it just happened. Some days you would wish you were cooler, which ultimately lead you to come to the conclusion that if you were a badass you definitely would have dated Yeonjun years ago. “You say soft, I say shut up.” Yeonjun pulled your arm “Don’t be like that you know I love you.” 

The warm lights cast shadows against his cheeks, hiding the faint blush on his cheeks as you leaned close to his face before springing to your feet. A sinking feeling made its way to his stomach at the thought of you slipping, so in a panic he stood, immediately clasping your shoulder in his tight grip. “Are you sure you didn’t steal a couple more bottles?” You glared at him “I’m not drunk! You’re just a bad influence.” “And? You never complained about it before.” “But that’s why I love you, bad boys are where it’s at, though I don’t consider you a bad boy. You’re too cute.”

That made him falter, he knew how platonic that love was but he also couldn’t even determine why you loved him that much. His life was harsh at times, love wasn’t something he was given, hell he wanted his ex to love him and that didn’t work out, so why were you saying such things? “I think the air is getting to your head” The meaning was lost on you which was shown by your cheeky grin; but he was actually irritated with how bubbly you were. It was too cute. 

He managed to predict your next move, grasping your wrist before you could poke his cheek. You sighed trying to yank your hand back but he didn’t let up, looking up at him was enough to erase your bratty frown. His dark eyes were hooded as his gaze flickered from your lips to your eyes and back again. Backing out wasn’t an option anymore. Yeonjun brought your hand up to place it on his cheek, a silent cry for you to kiss him like you meant it.

Every fantasy you had about kissing him was a poor comparison to the real thing. He was desperate and needy, something that would have been rough if it wasn’t for his soft lips. You could have kissed him all night but sadly you had to breath, you placed a shaky hand against his chest pushing him off of you. His lips reluctantly left yours, forcing out a soft whine as he caught your bottom lip between his teeth before finally parting. He was about to complain until he felt your hand slip under his tank top “I never knew you were such a little slut.” It was insane weak your legs had become, as far as you were concerned degradation wasn’t your thing, until Yeonjun made it seem pretty. It was completely unlike you to be so passive, but all you wanted, all you needed in this moment was him. With one more tug of his shirt you were being led off of the roof and into your bedroom.

Any sign of a gentle kiss was thrown out the window as soon as you made it inside. He wasted no time crashing his lips against yours. Lust clouded your vision, and every sense for that matter. You hadn’t even noticed him guide you towards your bed until he pushed you onto the plush pink sheets.  Yeonjun towered over you with a pleased smirk, in this moment he was far from the gentle guy who fussed over you every single day, he was better. Yeonjun brought his hands up, pinning your wrists above your head. He casually nudged your legs apart before moving in closer, his lips finding their way back to yours.

Eventually his desperation resulted in him rutting his hardened member against your bare thigh, the rough material of his jeans another thing that you didn’t know you needed. “I know you’re the one losing it but you have no idea how worked up I am y/n. I’m so ready for you.” Never in a million years did you think someone would have this much of an effect on you, but it felt natural to be like this with him. You snaked your hand down to rest against his bulge “It’s kind of obvious, but enlighten me…show me how much you want me.”

His already dark eyes gleamed as they got impossibly darker. In his effort to tighten his grip he pushed a silken pillow to the side, accidentally revealing the small pink vibrator in the process. What had once been and afterthought gave Yeonjun a brilliant idea. Unplugging the device he brought it into his palm, showing it off. “Kiss me if I’m wrong but this is the best gift you’ve ever received.” He moved in closer, lifting your skirt and sliding your panties down your legs. You leaned up to kiss his cheek, catching him completely off guard “What? I can’t say it’s the best gift I’ve received.” “By the end of tonight I’m going to prove you wrong bubs, just you wait.” “That’s what I want to hear.”

The only thing his dreams glazed over was the ability you had to tease him to no end. “Yeonjun, please hurry. Just give me anything.” Yeonjun clicked his tongue “So needy, don’t worry, I’ve got you.” The vibrator buzzed to life; the gentle rhythm was far from what you desired until he pressed it to your entrance. You brought a hand up to muffle the whimpers that he worked from you by tracing the tip against your folds. “So, wet, but I haven’t even done anything yet.” “That’s the problem, stop teasing me Jun.” 

The beauty of his smart mouth was that you were pleasantly caught off guard when he pushed the device into your soaking wet folds. His repetitive movements never failing to draw some type of reaction out of you. The overwhelming feeling of you being at your wits end was daunting, there was no way you wanted to cum yet, not without him inside of you.

Trembling wrists gripped at his messy pink hair as you fought against the coil that tightened in your stomach. “Y-Yeonjun stop.” The teasing tone wasn’t lost in his voice “It’s okay, let go for me.” Your grip tightened “No, I want you in me.” Yeonjun remained poker faced even when he pulled the vibrator out, pressing it against your clit, making sure to remove it when he felt your thighs quiver around him.

Call it déjà vu, but he knew exactly how this was going to play out.

 Throwing the vibrator to the side he hovers above you, kissing you like his life depended on it. His fingers that were tracing your leg the entire time, remain when he breaks the connection. The tiny whine you let out is music to his ears, it’s his turn to let out a low moan after you reach for his arm, fingertips as soft as silk. His needy baby was always so good to him, so he thought he would return the favour. Yeonjun leans down to place feather-light kisses across your neck. Seeing you shiver under his touch was something he never thought he would witness. He doesn’t try to prevent the words that fall from his plush lips “Ssh, I’ll make you feel good.” You didn’t know it but your response was something that he was all too familiar with.

“I trust you.”

Up until then he had shown just how domineering he could be. So, it was odd to see his faint blush as he removed the rest of his clothing. His slender form pressed into yours as you pulled him into you, resting your forehead against his. Any sickening, romantic words you were about to throw at him disappeared as he removed your shirt, kissing down your clavicle. An easy distraction as he unclipped your bra. “How in the world are you prettier than yesterday?” “You’re so cheesy I-” Your own moan interrupted your playful jab, with good reason too. His tongue swirled around your nipple, refraining from any urge he had to gently bite you. He groped your tits giving them as much attention as he could, somehow, he thought he had enough self-restraint to tease you more.

Pulling back Yeonjun swiped at his mouth just to rest his head in the crook of your neck. His raspy words teasing the edge of your ear. “It’s obvious, but God, are you sure you want this y/n? ‘Cause I want it so bad.” He was already drunk on lust, but your words sent him spiralling. “That’s funny, last time I checked I’ve always wanted you.” In one quick movement Yeonjun pushed into you, stuttering a string of curses when you clenched around him. From the moment he entered you he had built up a merciless rhythm, just falling shy of your sweet spot. “Y-Yeonjun” You rolled your hips into him trying to satisfy yourself. “Is this what you want princess?” Yeonjun’s fingers danced on your thigh as he brought one of your legs up, trying to better the angle. He was acting coy, knowing that if he played out exactly what he had in mind you would be cumming soon.  

He wanted this moment to be as beautiful as yourself, so he leaned giving you the last kiss of the night. Something heated and though it was rough, it was dripping with passion. While you were caught up in his everything Yeonjun jerked his hips forward finally giving you what you wanted. The strength of him holding you up and his strong thrusts blended together to rip out a scream that you were withholding. You arched your back, gripping onto his, trying your best to have mercy on him but your nails dug into his back leaving a string of red lines, littered with small crescent indents.  “I’m close, Yeonjun” You let your head fall back, “Already? But my pretty little whore you’re doing so well.”  

 Your incoherent words told him all he needed to know “But let go, I want to see how you look when you cum.” His words were the encouragement you needed to completely lose yourself to him. You tilted your head to the side the pulsing deep inside getting more frequent. “Nuh-uh what did I say? Look at me y/n.” Though he was strict he let that caring side shine through once again “I want to see your pretty e/c eyes.” With a gentle touch he softly cupped your jaw and tilted your head up.

Looking into his eyes you let go letting yourself be engulfed by the harsh waves of your climax. Yeonjun never thought of himself as a needy fool but when your walls fluttered around his cock Yeonjun fell apart, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he came.  In the past he prided himself on having enough control to pull out, but he was willing to accept it tonight.Brushing the strands of hair that stuck to your forehead he pulled out, coming to rest at your side.

After the dual panting had died down Yeonjun rolled onto his side. Placing a hand on your hip. “That was amazing. Sorry for going so rough, I hope it was okay.” Yeonjun interlinked his hand with yours “Happy Birthday y/n.”

The night was supposed to end like that, on cloud nine. But he had gotten ahead of him, the after-sex stupor was amazing, he wanted to live in that feeling. Staying by your side until the next day, but he couldn’t. He cared about you enough to delay leaving until after you had fallen asleep, he wasn’t about to share his post-sex guilt with you, you deserved better. In fact, that’s why he left, as much as he pretended to take it in stride, he didn’t want to be your bad influence. You stayed because of his stupid whining, you were a different person when you were around him. 

While tracing your features with his hooded gaze it was apparent that despite his dreams and what he wanted to be his reality, you were never going to work out. So, with a soft kiss to your temple, he wriggled out of your soft grasp, replacing himself with a pillow. His heart sunk lower as he watched you cuddle into it murmuring something that he couldn’t hear. And he left.

Yeonjun’s fingers halted before he could press send, after a brief second of hesitance, he just deleted those pathetic words. Your texts were curious and innocent, asking why he wasn’t there when you woke up, and for once he didn’t have an answer. Turning off his phone he placed it to the side, his slow breathing became rapid has he placed his head in his hands, trying his hardest to prevent guilty tears from falling. But that task was nearly impossible considering he couldn’t quite get that late afternoon out of his mind.

“I wish I could love you.” 

“I wish you could be my forever” 

“I wish you were mine” 

  ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

all rights reserved to ppoppokari

~in other words please don’t repost or steal my work as i’m a slow writer~

#choi yeonjun smut #choi yeonjun x reader #txt smut #badboy choi yeonjun au #txt x reader #yeonjun fanfiction #txt imagines #yeonjun imagines #kpop imagines #txt fluff #yeonjun fluff #mdni #not suitable for minors #kpop x reader #kpop scenarios #txt scenarios #txt angst #txt x fem reader #yeonjun x fem reader smut

[mingtinys]

Bad Day

pairing : jeong yunho x gn!reader

angst , hurt / comfort

warnings : language , yelling , insecurities

word count : 2.5 k

requested ? no

a/n : i feel like we rarely see yunho being anything but a ball of sunshine , so i thought this would be an interesting perspective to write about

"Hello..?" The voice on the phone is mumbled, but deep and undeniably Mingi's. He sounds tired, like he's fighting off the last remnants of sleep after being woken too soon. You suddenly feel bad for calling so late, especially after a dance practice. Maybe you were overreacting.

"Sorry, is this a bad time?"

A yawn. "No, no, you're fine. What's up?"

"I just haven't heard from Yunho yet, do you know if he's still up?" Based on what Yunho had told you this morning, dance practice ended at 9 pm. It's now midnight and you'd yet to hear from Ateez's lead dancer.

There's a pause.

"Is he not with you?"

Your heart sinks just a little at the thought of Yunho being unheard from by even his best friend. But you push any worrisome thoughts down for the time being. Perhaps his phone is dead or he came back to the dorms without Mingi noticing.

"No, did he say he was supposed to be with me?" Your words come out more urgent than you wish them to. Mingi must take notice because when he speaks next his voice loses its tired edge and he seems more alert.

"Oh, no! He didn't say anything. It was just a rough practice today so I figured he'd go straight to see you— hold on let me go ask Hongjoong."

There's shuffling on the other side, which you presume to be Mingi going to Hongjoong's room. It only takes a few seconds for you to hear his voice again, this time just a little more distant.

"Hyung, do you know where Yunho is? Y/N's asking."

Hongjoong's voice is too quiet for you to make out anything he says. At some point, Mingi drops to a whisper as well and the two discuss to themselves. You mess with your fingers as you wait for Mingi to reiterate the conversation.

"You still there?" His voice finally comes through. You give a short confirmation and Mingi continues. "Hongjoong said he's still at the studio."

Though still concerned for him working way past normal hours, you let out a relieved sigh. Mingi says goodnight to Hongjoong on the other side and you take it upon yourself to ask one more question. "Do you think it's best just to let him be then?"

He takes a beat to think. Then, "I actually think he'd appreciate seeing you, maybe it’ll cheer him up."

"What exactly happened?"

"We had a new choreographer today, the guy was a serious piece of work. It's like nothing any of us did was up to his standards, but he was particularly hard on Yunho. He seemed pretty dejected by the end of it." He explains.

Your heart aches for Yunho, someone who takes immense joy and pride in his work. To be shot down and berated time after time must have been grating.

"Alright, I'll go see if I can get him to at least rest. Thank you, Mingi."

"Of course– oh and Y/N?" Mingi asks a second before you can hit "end."

"Hmm?"

"Can you tell him he did well, even if he doesn't think so? He wouldn't hear it from us, but he tends to listen to you."

Mingi doesn't get sentimental often, nor does he take such a serious tone. It's unsettling really, but sweet, and it leaves no doubt in your mind that tonight's practice really was hell.

"I will, you all take care of yourselves as well."

"We will. Goodnight, Y/N."

You bid him goodnight as well before ending the call.

It doesn't take long to gather your things and head to the dance studio. Maybe thirty minutes max, which included a stop at a nearby 24-hour convenience store for two cans of cold coffee.

The night-time security guard happily allows you in with a polite greeting. If he's not supposed to, he doesn't make it known. After a full year of dating Yunho, you were on friendly terms with most of KQ's staff, so it’s easy to get away with stuff like this.

The practice room pulses with a new song that echoes down the halls. It's way too loud for this time of night, but makes navigating KQ's halls a little easier. You follow the increasing volume until it comes to a crescendo just past a door with a small glass window cut into it. Through it, you spot Yunho dressed in sweats and mid-dance. Though his body isn't moving as fluidly with the music as it usually does. Instead, his moves are jagged and forceful, but most of all sluggish. You aren't sure how long exactly he's been going at this, but it's clear exhaustion set in long ago. 

Yunho stops suddenly, muttering to himself as he strides across the room to pause the music. He leans against the desk where the laptop sits on and drops his head into his hands. His shoulders move up and down with heavy breaths, and you feel awkward interrupting such a moment without warning.

So you lightly rasp three times on the door to alert him of your presence before easing into the room. You just barely catch the tail end of him muttering out a quiet, "fuck."

It's rare to hear him curse in a non-lighthearted matter. But in just a few seconds, Yunho straightens himself out as if nothing happened. He must have been expecting the security guard or quite literally anyone else, because he completely freezes when he turns around and sees you.

You're finally able to fully take in his appearance, and he looks rough. You're not sure you've ever seen him so sweaty and worn out in your life. His grey t-shirt is drenched, and it sticks to his skin in a way you can't imagine being comfortable. Strands of dark brown hair clump together and splay across his forehead. His breathing is deep and heavy, like he's trying to suck down as much air as humanly possible. You aren't able to tell if his red and puffy features are due to overheating or crying; maybe both. Yunho's usually bright and excited brown eyes look dull and lifeless. Dark under circles hang below, making his face look more gaunt than usual. It's truly a pitiful sight to behold.

"Babe... what are you doing here?" The way he forces a sweet saccharine tone into his voice sinks your heart into your stomach. He really does try his best to cover his beaten-down demeanor. But it's strained, and the smile doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"Mingi said you were practicing late, thought I'd bring some coffee." You extend one of the cans to him, and he takes it before setting it down next to the laptop.

Again, he attempts a smile. "Thank you, I'll call you after I'm done, yeah?"

"Why don't you take a break?" your hand comes to rest on his bicep, grazing over the feverish skin with your thumb. "We can sit, have some coffee, talk about your day. . ."

"Not right now babe, maybe another time okay?" He grows antsy with each word and shrugs off your hand. It's clear something is bothering him. And unfortunately, when Yunho feels an overwhelming rush of negative emotions he tends to put on a brave face and lock himself away until it passes. You've always respected his need for space while he learns it's okay to lean on you during these times. But you have to admit, it's frustrating when he shuts you out. He's too concerned with keeping up his playful and joyous demeanor to even consider the idea of looking for support.

"Yunho—" you start, but are immediately cut off by the overpowering speakers as he restarts the song and strides back to the center of the floor.

He picks back up from the start, and you decide it's best to wait him out. It's useless to try and pry something out of him right now. So you set your things down and lean against a wall.

Normally you enjoy watching Yunho dance, whether it be practices or performances. He's insanely talented, yet most of all, takes immense joy in dancing. His grace radiates across the stage and never fails to bring a smile to your face. But right now he just seems … sad. He isn't enjoying it like usual, nor is he putting much heart into it.

Frustration emanates throughout the room with him at the center. It's such a rare sight to see. Yunho absolutely at his wit's end, struggling like someone had placed one hundred pound weights on each shoulder.

You're startled from your thoughts at the sound of a loud thud and shouted "shit!" You look up just in time to see Yunho on the floor, large hands gripping his ankle and face contorted in pain.

You're kneeling beside him within seconds, hands hovering around where he's holding, unsure of how to help. "Shit, Yunho."

"I'm fine! Just– why don't you head home?" He slowly picks himself off the ground, wincing every time he accidentally puts too much pressure on his left foot. He's able to stand, albeit wobbly, but it's a good sign of nothing being broken. Probably just a sprain, easily fixed with ice and a good night's rest. If he ever lets you talk some sense into his head.

"Why don't we go home together?"

"I really can't, okay? Please just go!" It comes out harsher than he'd intended. But the frustration is getting to him, and you know he's trying anything to get you to leave before he fully implodes. So you don't have to see him any worse than he already is.

"I don't know what exactly happened today and I understand you're upset, but that doesn't mean it's okay to take it out on me."

A flash of irritation etches itself into his features, but it's gone just as fast as it came. Yunho takes a deep breath. Then another. "You're right, I'm sorry for blowing up at you. But please, I just want to be alone right now."

There's still an edge of urgency in his strained voice, but you accept the apology.

There's a moment of silence that blankets the room as the music fades to an end. In the commotion, you barely registered it was still playing. But its absence now leaves a palpable tension in the room, the only sounds being Yunho's ragged breaths. He must have expected you to just leave without another word from the way he's expectantly looking at you.

You shift in your spot.

"Babe please–"

"I'm not going until I know you're okay."

The muscles in his jaw visibly tense and his fists curl into balls at his side, knuckles white from the pressure. "It was just a bad day." He spits through clenched teeth.

You nod and another few moments pass. There's a glossy sheen over his already reddened eyes. He pushes down what sounds like the start of a cry, but it only causes his chest to constrict and spasm further.

"We had a new choreographer today and he–"

A pathetic hiccup breaks past his lips and it's the first leak in his already crumbling dam that is able to break through the disguise he put on. He tries to conceal it, turning his back to you and roughly gripping at his hair. It's a poor attempt at best, made even more pitiful by him still nursing his left ankle.

You rush to comfort him any way you know how when the next sob rips its way through his throat. Wrapping your arms securely around his midsection and giving a reassuring squeeze. You press a kiss to his shoulder blade and rest your head against his back, mumbling kind affirmations to coax the full story out of him.

"I don't know what I'm doing wrong!" Sobs shake through his entire body as he finally gives in. "But nothing I did was good enough. He just kept saying 'it's not right, you're too slow, too awkward, too lazy.'"

"He sounds like an idiot," you mumble against Yunho's back.

He doesn't hear your comment, or if he did he doesn't acknowledge it. "I thought I could stay late and fix it but— it's not fucking working. I can't get it, I keep stumbling and forgetting the moves, and I–"

Another sob breaks his sentence in half, but he continues on.

"And I hate feeling like this. I never meant to yell or for you to see me like this," he's rushing through his words, trying to redeem any piece of himself he can at this point. "I'm so sorry, you shouldn't have to—"

"Yunho, please look at me." He doesn't respond at first, only stills in your hold at the request. "Please."

Begrudgingly, he turns around. His hands fall from his hair and hang loosely at his sides, shoulders slumped. Yunho still refuses to meet your eyes, head tilted down at the floor instead.

Your hands come to cup his jaw ever so gently, swiping away stray tears. You tilt your head to catch his watery gaze. For the first time ever, Yunho feels unbelievably small in your grasp and it makes your heart ache in a way that tightens a knot in your throat.

"Please stop apologizing, Yunho." Your voice is merely a whisper. "I love you, so much. Good and bad days alike, I promise nothing will ever change that."

His eyes squeeze shut and his lip quivers ever so slightly. He tries to drop his head back down, but your palms on his jaw support the weight. "You don't always have to act so brave all the time. It's okay to be upset, I would never judge you for it."

Slowly, his eyes flutter open, wet lashes clumping together as another wave of tears rolls in. He scans your face, soft brown irises darting back and forth. If he's looking for any sign of dishonesty; it isn't there. Your words are genuine and tell him everything he didn't know he needed to hear.

A newfound vulnerability registers in his expression. It hits him all at once as he collapses into your embrace. Strong arms pulling you impossibly close, he smells of sweat and floor cleaner with just a hint of his body wash lingering on his skin. He fists the back of your shirt, shaky hands grasping desperately as if harsh waves have been pushing him deeper and deeper underwater and you’re the only thing keeping him afloat.

You cradle his head into the crook of your neck protectively. Smoothing back his hair and tracing delicate circles across the skin at the base of his neck. Wet tears absorb into the fabric of your shirt, but it doesn't matter.

"I wanna go home." He whimpers against your skin, but makes no attempt to let go. In fact, he tightens his hold on your shirt even more so. There's no rush to get home, so you let him stay, prepared to hold him for as long as he needs.

"You did well today, Yunho. I'm really proud of you, everyone is." You whisper, and you really hope this time he's able to believe it.

#yunho #ateez #yunho drabble #jeong yunho drabble #yunho x reader #jeong yunho x reader #yunho fanfic #ateez x reader #yunho imagine #jeong yunho imagine #ateez yunho #yunho imagines #ateez imagines #yunho angst #ateez angsty #yunho oneshot #yunho hurt/comfort

[welcometomyoasis]

lets spread some love!!

talk about your favourite mutuals and why you like them

💓

ah i do love all my mutuals regardless of whether i talk to them a lot or not :(( but here are the ones i talk to the most often! (i'm sorry to the moots who aren't on the list, just know i love all of you and i appreciate all of you and let's talk more in the future! </3)

@wonijinjin - my little bear, need i say more? you're my twin, we have so much in common. we can talk about literally anything and everything, we're already planning to recreate all of jihan's pictures when we meet (hopefully soon). i love your heart, your strength, and your ability to make me smile like scoups looking at hannie when i see you texted me. i also love your fics, like your mind and ability to come up with such pretty fics is mindblowing. ���️ you also make me want to romanticise life for some reason? you make life tolerable for me and talking to you makes me finally learn how to use instagram... like i'm to old for tiktok okay and instagram is more bearable... 😅

@brownsugarbaybee - my angel. i love your ability to love? is that a thing? probably. you shower me with so much love and care, and it provides me with so much comfort. makes me feel all warm and cozy. also, our random conversations about tea or cheol, or the 95 line, i treasure everything.

@heavenfilm - my little cloud, the person who i proposed to using a seventeen song rec list. *gasp* is this my first public declaration of love for you? is it? i love how we clicked. fast. seriously idk how it is possible but we're on the same wave length about so many things, we're so similar (we kill plants so yay!) and we're just such good friends now. idk how else to put it honestly. i do also love your sexy mind and your curiousity. it makes me feel more curious about the world as well and idk to some extent it makes me try to love life a little more than before? also please come visit me :((

@weird-bookworm - my little ball of sunshine. yea that's exactly why i love you. you're a ball of sunshine. i believe my words when i first talked to you were that you were a bundle of bright energy. yea. you versus the sun? the sun is losing tell it to pack its bags because we have a new sun taking over. that's you. don't ever let anyone block your shine. i swear i am ready to fight whoever hurts you (also you're so protective over me? like no i adopted you i'm supposed to protect you too)

@haecien - cien has this crazy and happy energy that draws people in, i don't know how to explain it. you love with all your heart, you're so sentimental and you treasure the little things. it's just so endearing to see honestly. especially when you talk about your love life? it makes me feel single yes, but i'm so invested in it and i'm rooting for you because you deserve all the happiness in the world.

@wheeboo - my little flower is probably one of the nicest, most welcoming, kindest, people in the world. rania just has this really calming, sweet energy around her? she's really like a flower that attracts everyone to her. also her fics? mindblowing. gimme her masterlist and i am not moving from my seat if i can help it. she writes everyone so well and there's always a perfect balance of fluff and the wheeboo trademark... wait for it.. angst! (and i love angst so there.)

@slytherinshua - zanna's enthusiasm is just contagious. i see the way she loves all the groups that she is into, and all the effort she puts into her fics (and the powerpoint presentations). and i get so hyped up as well? personally i find it very heartwarming to see someone who has the amount of passion zanna has and i wish i could be more like that too <3

@babyleostuff - natalia has this no nonsense attitude around her but she's also one of the nicest, most humble people ever. in other words, natalia is a girl boss. she also genuinely loves what she does be it writing the fics, or her line of study. her fics are everything i want to kiss your mind every time i read something new because how do you come up with the sweetest, fluffiest, most accurate fics? it takes me to a whole new level of deluluness 🥰

@justsomekpopstuff - JJ says the sweetest, nicest things :( every time i see a notif from JJ i get so happy. she's like my no. 1 masterlist supporter. also i'm learning a lot about her and the fact that we both have road rage 😃. yea we just became moots but don't ever think you're getting away from me. i'll win you over with more joshua fics...

@planetkiimchi - kimchi is like a little sibling to me. we're from the same country and it's always fun talking because it feels like we're part of an inside joke (but no, it's kind of just the education system we're in 💀) kimchi can also speak chinese properly which i am very envious of :)

@nonononranghaee - hafs. her mind makes me want to die a little because she says and asks the most profound things? like literally one of the first conversations we had was about whether true love existed? that blew my mind. also her writing is just it. it makes me feel all the emotions which is what i'm looking for in a fanfic :)

@addicsvt - can i squish? ari reminds me of a squishy, adorable plushie... literally so sweet, easily excitable, and her reblogs give me life when i see them. she was the first person to compliment my writing and i've since adopted her ❤️

@mangocustard16 - mango's sense of humour is unmatched. and the fics oml i need to binge your entire masterlist when i can. you write so much and you're writing just makes me want to melt into a puddle of mush. also you're really really nice! and i like nice people :)

@eightlightstar - my fellow academia girlie. her fics are hilarious and she always says the sweetest things in her reblogs :( it somehow always happens at night and i wake up to it and it just puts a huge smile on my face. so thank you for that vittoria ily ❤️ let's be fellow profs together?

@woozvc - nora is my person. my fellow panda lover. they get the hype around pandas. but also they are so so nice. i cannot wait for them to come back online soon so more chaos between the panda lovers can ensue </3

@staranghae - cherry you remind me of a very cheery person (hehe see what i did there). you're so hyper and sweet to everyone. let's definitely talk more okay?

@starshuas - adorable, happy, fluffy ball of energy? you just give me such sweet vibes and you're an absolute sweetheart who spreads so much happiness around to all the blogs 💕

#letters for shu ✏༝༚༝༚ #shu's moots ᰔᩚ #i just love all my moots a lot okay #i'm always up for giving them lots of love <3

[oohbuggypie]

I CANT BE TAME AND REGULAR RIGHT NOW EXCUSE THE CRAZINESS I GENUINELY DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO WORD THIS BUT !!! YEAH IM BREAKING DOWN THE LYRICS TO THIS SONG AND HOW THEY REFLECT DON AND BULL'S DYNAMIC DEPICTED IN @goferwashere's LATEST PIECE OF WRITING !! GO READ IT IT MAKES ME INSANE SRSLY. SO THESE R THE LYRICS::

**(song above is Shades Of Cool by Lana Del Rey;; the section takes place from 3:49 - 4:31 . please read the disclaimer / warning at the end of this post !!)

OKAY . BREAKING THEM DOWN TIME.

"your hot, hot weather in the summer" - (real quick: i would change the 'your' to 'you're' as it would make more sense in the context of describing their lover as a feeling; if not, it makes less sense. anyway!!) so this lyric makes me think of how, as Don begins using his manipulative ability to alter Bull's state of mind, the feeling the victim succumbs to when hearing his voice is described as bringing a sense of "warmth and comfort." to describe Don's manipulation effects as "hot weather in the summer" makes sm sense to me because, much like the sun's radiance and the general relaxation/freedom that comes with the summer season, Don's manipulation makes Bull feel a (false) sense of safety and enjoyment. further, in closer context to both the song's general tones and siren mythology, the description of Don's manipulation being akin to "hot weather" can also be taken in a more sultry / seductive manner; in the story, Don uses intimate gestures like tracing along Bull's hand, cupping his face, wrapping himself around his arm, drinking directly from the same cup as him, etc. in what id assume is an attempt to be more alluring / welcoming. along with this, Don's handsome appearance and charisma seems to sway Bull's judgement slightly. Bull does have a reaction to these gestures , being flushed in the face and appealing to Don's demands the first few times he's asked. however, this feeling gets its meaning changed fairly quickly.

condensed: the feeling of Don's manipulation is akin to the warm days of summer, a freeing and typically sweet feeling. Don invokes feelings in Bull that can be related to the sentiment of summer's heat.

"high, high, neglectful lover" - in the literal sense of the song, i believe the use of the word "high" implies that the lover is constantly under the influence of drugs; in this context though, i prefer to think of the word "high" as in a power trip. Don is shown to be on his high horse constantly due to the overwhelming abilities he holds over his peers, being able to demand anything from nearly anyone. alternatively, closer to the original context of the song, i suppose the "high" could also correlate to the feeling of Don's manipulation influence. the victim loses their own proper coordination, their thinking is impaired, and in Bull's case his temperature even rises, causing sweating. all of this could reflect the symptoms of somebody under the influence, similar to how Don puts all of his victims under a "trance" of sorts. moving along to the second part of the line; in this writing, i don't believe that Bull and Don are implied to be in a relationship of any form. however, they do almost seem to reflect feelings for each other, seeing that Don touching Bull's hand makes the latter blush, and Don's heart rate picks up when Bull touches his face (this could be due to the fact that Bull was moving beneath command, causing Don nervousness - but my interpretation is the former). so in this scenario, i believe Don would take the role of "neglectful lover" - as mentioned in the previous paragraphs, Don is shown to use sweet and intimate gestures with Bull; however, we know that they're devoid of any true meaning and that he's doing them simply to appear normal to outsiders that can't tell his victim is under his control, or to persuade his victim before manipulating them. however, Don does present himself as caring for Bull, such as constantly adjusting his attire and even cleaning the sweat from his forehead, and an important factor is that Don - for the first time - feels guilt whilst manipulating Bull. this seems to happen only when he's dealing with him in specific, and to me that deepens the idea of Don being the neglectful lover because , despite being aware that what he's doing is wrong, he pushes that guilt aside and continues to manipulate Bull.

condensed: Don holds an overbearing amount of power among his peers. he also induces symptoms / feelings similar to drug use upon his victims when manipulating them. Don plays the role of a "lover" that does not express true care for their partner and ultimately harms them.

"hot, hot weather in the summer" - oh my goodness this is one of my favorite parts of the song when reading it along with the writing. in the story, as Bull begins regaining his consciousness back, we learn that he can hear Don's voice almost as an outer force. as i covered in the first paragraph, the "hot weather" starts as a pleasant and seductive feeling for Bull. it's swaying, comfortable, and warming. however, as the breakdown in the song intensifies and the guitar whines over the drawling vocals, the pronunciation of the phrase begins to lean towards sounding pained;; bringing a bit of personal description into this, summer where i come from can become so intense that it starts to feel painful on the skin and is no longer enjoyable. this is exactly the feeling i think Bull experiences; that "hot weather" Don induced no longer feels like freedom, it's becoming a dreadful burning. a detail that i adored and stuck out to me in the writing is that Don's voice is so intensified in this state that Bull shields his ears, wincing at the height of the volume. this contributes more to my point that Bull's slow awakening and the summer weather reflect one another; much like how the beating sun becomes overstimulating and unbearable against the skin, Don's influence that was once sweet starts to slowly morph into a more agonizing experience, both mentally and physically for Bull.

condensed: the sense of comfort and warmth that Bull initially felt when being manipulated by Don slowly transforms into a painful feeling as Bull begins to escape the manipulation's trance.

"high, neglectful lover" - when Bull fully escapes the maze and is no longer under Don's control, it can be viewed as one coming down from their high. this is where the roles become reversed to me; he awakens to Don grasping his hand and gently holding his face with the opposite. in that moment, Don seems to be truly concerned for Bull as he twitches and acts irregularly. Don momentarily sheds the image of a neglecting, careless lover and now appears to be the sweet partner; and as Bull quickly resorts to violence upon understanding what Don had just put him through, that "neglectful lover" image is projected onto him instead. he cares not to hear Don's reasoning or explanation, but for how he will reflect the same suffering he was caused onto him. this part is so so detrimental to me because it almost makes you feel for Don. Bull appears for a short moment to be the monstrous one before we're reminded yet again who truly is the neglectful, abusive one.

condensed: Don appears to care for Bull, and he is no longer the neglecting partner; Bull takes on the latter role instead, but for a short moment only.

"you're crumbling, sadly" - to me, this line reflects the final moments of the writing, in which Bull begins choking Don against the bathroom wall as vengeance for his manipulation. on the surface, reading this from Bull's point of view, you can view the "crumbling" as Don's reaction to his punishment. he seems to almost lose his grasp on consciousness, his breathing is inconsistent, and he can't disguise the terror that Bull has inflicted upon him; the largest part of the "crumbling" is that Don's usual sauve front was dropped out of pure fear under Bull's rage . however, as we see just a moment later, Don manages to remain snarky despite his terrified state just seconds before .. so, to me, i think that this line fits just as perfectly when being read from Don's point of view;; he views Bull's immediate resort to violence / switch in demeanor as proof of weakness, and that his manipulation was powerful enough to make Bull "crumble" beneath the pressure of his trance. this also plays strongly into the afore mentioned power trip that Don is constantly on.

condensed: Bull choking Don is the former's idea of the latter "crumbling". however, Don also believes that Bull's violence towards him is an example of his victim crumbling as well.

"you're sadly, crumbling" - the very last moments of the writing show the aftermath of Bull nearly strangling Don, as the latter begs him to come back. and i think one of the most key factors of the entire story - if not Don's entire character in this AU - happens here. as Don attempts to use his manipulative power one last time to lure Bull into retrieving him, that power sputters out just as Don says "i'm sorry." i think the entire sentiment of Don's weak figure facing the consequence of his wrongdoing , asking not only for help, but for forgiveness from his victim is a turnaround moment for him. it strikes a chord that has never been heard of; Don realizes that there was no reason behind his actions, that the abuse of his power and his manipulative behavior simply cannot be justified. i think that crushing, unheard of feeling of remorse for his actions is what ultimately differentiates who truly "crumbled" in the end; Don is the one left unforgiven, regretful of his own actions and battered on the floor with nobody to sympathize with.

condensed: Don is ultimately the one harmed most by his manipulation.

OH MY GOD ITS DONE. this actually took the entire day im so srs,, like i know it's not even that much and it's written not very well but the effort that is articulating my thoughts enough so that other ppl don't just hear "LOOK HERE THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT DO U GET IT" is grueling . anyway gofer i hope u enjoy this absolutely monstrous amount of writing cuz it was all inspired by u 🩷 i reccomend reading all this and then rereading ur own story with the song in the background it will change u i Think . and i recommend doing the exact same thing 2 anybody else who can stand to read this entire post ✝️ it's literally 1 in the morning as i post this and a majority of this was written at midnight so sorry for all the janky wording nd generally bad writing but i had to get this out today or i wouldn't come back 2 it 😭 hope u can try n understand where im coming from hehe

**(i do not agree with many of LDR's statements and actions, and prefer not to directly stream her music as to avoid supporting her. if u would like to hear the excerpt from the song, i reccomend doing what i did and YouTube-to-MP3'ing it so u can download, easily hear, then delete it without having to stream her music 🩷 thank u 4 ur understanding !)

#punch out!! wii #punch out wii #punch out #punch out monster hunter au #don flamenco #bald bull #holy actual hell i am so so beat from this u do not even get it #i know a lot of this sounds not that good guys i cant stress to u how bad i am at conveying my thoughts like im nawt made to do this bro #anyway srsly i hope u get it cuz omgg my brain has truly been changed by these connections i am telling u

[idledee]

wanted to stop by and say how much i love ur art, it's very soft and feels super comforting to look at ! i love the bits and pieces that you've made for ve sầu song ca and it made me happy to find another vietnamese person here in this world :) do your ocs have any special meaning behind their name, and what's your process in naming them ? :0 ty again for making such lovely pieces, i hope u have a great day ! <3

WAH thanks so much!! i always get so flustered when ppl ask about ocs aslk;djfalj in truth they are very self-indulgent and like. cheesy. there's not a lot of complexity involved but lol! but if anyone is curious!:

chích choè: her name is literally the viet name for the magpie-robins. she was an orphan abandoned in a temple without a name, so this is what her royal adopted siblings call her bc she likes to talk and sing a lot like the songbird aha. added symbolism^tm bc her sis also has a bird name

quỳnh liên: honestly i just like the sound...its a very gentle pretty name lol which is at odds w her upbringing (mum and her ran away from abusive father, grew up in forgotten temple kinda poor). shes supposed to be cc's foil and their names are meant to reflect that...idk

bạch yến: literally "white swallow" she has a white swallow that's rarely visible esp in the sunlight something something hidden in plain sight...

ok these next 2 are very self indulgent. hồng nhật: "red sun" (gritting my teeth) i really wasnt thinking too hard about it, he's a sentimental and sensitive person we going for that sunmoon foiling

minh hải : bright (as in like like but also smart lol) sea. his personality is quite subdued and at first impression seems like a prickly individual, but its clear he cant help caring about others. i always imagine light scattered on the water's surface :') (LIGHT FROM THE SUN???? exactly)

phương anh: its a name that basically sets high expectations for a person that always does the right thing, is upright and principled, with a gentle and caring heart...<- my interpretation. anyways shes the eldest sister so...

xuân: the youngest child of the primordial gods of the land, all their sibs are named after the mountains and rivers, only xuân is named after the fleeting "spring".

lệ ái: "tears of love" OK WELL. basically their story is called "return in spring rain" basically lệ ái and xuân met during the spring rain, they were separated for a long time bc of redacted, but when lệ ái returned, xuân's tears welcomed them. so basically spring rain, or tears of love, brought their reunion...sighs...one day i'll finish this comic

anyways ya these are them! my kids!! thank u sm for the ask waaha this was very fun to think/write about!

#ve sầu song ca

[mask131]

One thing I love with the seven Princes of Hell in Helluva Boss is that, so far, each of their "song" perfectly reflects what their sin is about. (I put "song" like that because I will count Mammon's stage-apparition at the beginning of "Mammon's Magnificent Musical")

Asmodeus' song at Ozzie's is very clear - the demon-lord of Lust is all about sex, depravity, debauchery, carnality, and abhors, disdains, rejects love in its romantic, sentimental, "pure" way. Of course we learn later that this is not true - but the song in itself, outside of the character, perfectly reflects what "lust" is in the logic of the seven deadly sins (while Asmodeus' personal healthy approach to lust is more about what "lust" is in a more general, broader sense, a play on the various meaning of the words). But the song is clearly depicting what lust is, as defined by the Christian religion and ideology/mindset - "Hump 'til your junk turns to dust". Extreme, auto-destructive sexuality. But more importantly - a sexuality devoid of love.

Due to the Christian teachings great exaggeration of "All sex is bad", a lot of people today remember (or perceive, or preach) lust as being just "Enjoying sex" or "Having too much sex". It was true for certain times, certain eras and certain areas of the world ; but when you look at the old theological texts, at the well-informed Christian teachings, and replace things in their wider socio-cultural context (lessons about love, marriages and sexuality in the Middle-Ages enlightens a LOT of Christian religious texts of the time) you very obviously get what lust was supposed to be about. In Christianity, the divide is between love and lust. Long story short: Christian minds (especially in the Middle-Ages, which was when the seven deadly sins got their true "final form") conceived love as a feeling, an emotion belonging to the mind and the soul, and opposed it to the carnal and material love - romance versus sexuality. Lust as a vice was about enjoying purely the materiality of sex and only knowing carnal relationships with others, without knowing, sharing or caring for actual love, as in romantic feelings. While this whole division went REALLY awry throughout the ages and the continents and turned into the massive "SEX IS EVIL" propaganda of the Christian churches, the original idea behind it all resonates extremely well today if you accept that a good relationship is one with a sexuality motivated by love ; while a bad relationship is one where sexuality is devoid of any love in any shape or form. The "core sin" of the vice of lust stays to this day, rape, the absolute apex of lust in the Christian sinful sense: a selfish, uncaring, harming form of sexuality devoid of any kind of love or care. One's desire imposed onto another simply for the sake of personal gratification and without any empathy, bond or attention towards the other. (Originally, the "core sin" around which lust was shaped, was prostitution, because it was also seen in this optic of being an emotionless and harmful relationship only motivated or justified by money)

If we move on to Beelzebub, sorry, Queen Bee's song, we have again a pure definition of what gluttony is. It is in the catchphrase of the song, a sentence that I personally firest understood while reading Terry Pratchett's books where he makes a clear divide about this: "I'm what you want, not what you need". Again, a lot of people don't get that the seven deadly sins (or seven cardinal vices, or seven evil thoughts, call it as you like) are not evil in their subject - but evil in the way they are done, in their intensity and intentions. The religion's fanaticism and extremes did turn a lot of these into crimes (from "Sex should only be with love and care" we went to "All sex is evil" ; from the sin of gluttony we went to "Enjoying any piece of food is evil"), but again, one needs to look at history, social evolution, and the original texts (plus modern ones) to get it all. What is gluttony about? Gluttony is about excess, not about the food. Gluttony is about eating when not hungry just like lust is about having sex when not loving ; gluttony is about waste the same way lust is about debauchery and depravity. Remember the traditional divides of gluttony (can't recall right now who made this division first): eating too much, eating too early, eating a food that is too costly, demanding a food that has too much sauces or spices, eating too ravenously... "Too much", "too costly", "too eagerly" - gluttony lies in excess. And this was most exemplified (to the point people forgot about the other ways of gluttony) by the idea of "eating too much". Aka eating when you are not hungry, eating when you do not need it, eating not to nourish your body... But because you want it or feel like it. "What you want, not what you need". What Beelzebub proudly claims she embodies.

There are subtle nods here and there about the sin throughout the song number - such as Beelzebub using her magic to make food too big for one's mouth or changing one glass into a giant drink that gets people instantly drunk. But remember what this song is about? "Cotton candy sky ; sweet as apple pie", all in a debauchery of sugar and rain of candy. The choice of these sweet, sugary food and other desserts couldn't be more perfect to embody the sin of gluttony - because this is what all these things are about. They are supposed to be little treats and enjoyments at the end or the side of the meal ; and yet here they form the feast. They are not nourishing in themselves, they just taste good and are comforting and pleasant to look at, yes, but a whole diet of them would be unhealthy and dangerous, as they are not what the body needs... But sugar, like alcohol, being a very addictive product, it is what people "want". And thus we enter the realm of gluttony. Whole feasts of un-nourishing food. Sweet and pretty addictions. (Though I personally do not like much the idea of treating addiction as being "gluttony", because an addiction is a disease while a vice is supposed to be a trait of character, a willful decision, a conscious choice to do something bad - but gluttony definitively leads to the disease of addiction when you go down this path of thought - in fact one of the main things theologian repeated is that gluttony always leads to the most physical diseases and illnesses out of the various deadly sins)

And what about Mammon? Well we do not have any actual song for Mammon - even in his introduction episode, despite being on stage for a very long time, he does not sing, it is just the others that sing. Already we see both an attack on how greed uses others to gain wealth and profit (making others sing for him), and how greed is ultimately a sterile place from which no true art can come out (Vivziepop's criticism of greed and the artistic process is more than clear in Mammon's character). But more fascinatingly is the "non-song" of Mammon when he appears on stage during the flashback to Blitz and Fizzi's teenage years. He is on stage, he has a musical instrument, he is here to perform a concert... But all he does is hype up the audience for a show we ultimately never see or hear ; a lot of decorum for nothing ; a long and complex advertisement and promotion for a very different project (the clown contest) and ultimately just Mammon "bitchin' about taxes" and angrily denying exploitation. Again all of greed is here - selling things that do not exist, using your stage to promote other, more exploitative projects instead of giving what the audience paid for, literaly being distracted out of your own show by monetary topics completely out-of-context like taxes or exploitation accusations.

So yeah, while two of the princes subvert what their sins is about (Asmodeus and Beelzebub seemingly not being as overtly destructive as their sins are supposed to be ; though Beelzebub's benevolence can be put at doubt by the fact she seems to feed off the emotion of her parties, and worries about Blitz because he gives "bad vibes" to the whole thing), so far each introduction song (or non-song for Mammon) clearly perfectly depicts what their sin is about, in a fun and clever way.

#helluva boss #seven deadly sins #asmodeus #queen bee #mammon #beelzebub #song analysis #deadly sins #seven vices #seven deadly vices #i could list all the alternate names of the seven deadly sins here but it would never end

[emblemxeno]

I've been playing Fates again (thanks gay fates mod ily kiss kiss) and after (re)reading through counter-critiques of its story and generally thinking about it again I'm kinda left with the following thoughts and wanted to share as you're our resident Fates Was Good, Actually blogger.

a) so much of Fates critique falls into cinemasins-level "this isn't explicitly stated therefore BAD" territory (or otherwise stuff that shouldn't be, and often isn't, a problem in other games in the series)

b) we wouldn't need to bring up the Japanese script in contrast with the localization in the first place if the fandom hadn't completely poisoned the well in regards to talking about Fates' story. I had no idea about any of the localization changes my first play-through and I still thought Fates' plot was fine. Good, even!

The fatescourse is what made me leave the fandom around the time 3H came out, and every time I take a peek back in the subreddit or other fandom spaces it still seems to be just as much of a toxic cesspool as ever. Which sucks because I want to talk about Blorbo from my Emblems again, but I really don't want to have to deal with The Discourse & general toxicity

Hope you don't mind me posting this!

I feel you 100% and the sentiments are very appreciated, thanks!

For your first point, yeah, that's what it feels like. Saying it's CinemaSins-esque feels like a low blow, but it honestly does remind me of those videos. And they aren't meant to be actual critique! They're sarcastic entertainment and little else! But so much of Fates criticism is "why doesn't X just do Y? never explained by in-game text, so therefore story bad" or "why isn't Z plot point expanded upon? game never tells me so story bad." It's cheap and shallow, above all else. It's reminiscent of the Blue Curtains literary discourse, in that people only go with what's written explicitly rather than connect the dots from plot point to plot point. You're supposed to connect Azura's pacifying song to Mikoto's pacifying magic to Valla's history of magical development due to being directly blessed by Anankos; same with the crystal ball, water motifs, and future sight, those are all Valla-centered traits. But because the game never says "oh this is because of Valla", people think the place is just a nameless evil nation with no history or unique aspects.

For your second point, god, yes. Soooo many take any localization criticism as either a) alignment with unsavory anti-censorship anti-sjw chuds who are mostly complaining about not getting to boink lolis or b) not worth the time because "it wasn't gonna make a bad story any better anyway" which is such a gutter thing to say because localizations have literally changed things and removed crucial information in the series before Fates. The big examples being stuff with the Black Knight in the Tellius games, the long script removal in Radiant Dawn, and lines relating to Nergal's backstory in FE7 being mistranslated. Awakening had its share of localization discourse and criticism due to characters like Henry being changed, as well.

And I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a little resentful that 3H of all games is when people started giving a shit, cuz now that a "good game with a good story is being affected, it's now worth our time."

Plus this shit is still happening, considering that FEH consistently gets stuff wrong or mistranslated to this day.

#fire emblem discourse #fire emblem fates

[trippygalaxy]

Hello hello! I just read your MoonGod!FD×SunDeity! I couldn't help myself so sorry for sliding and nerding in;;

The funfact I love the most is thag moon shines thanks to the light it gets from the sun. It makes me think of the quote how the light it gets reflects the love of the Sun

Unlike the Moon, the Sun gave more importance to their duty. When they met the Moon who've shown his admiration for them, the Sun's feeling never changed but it gave more consideration.

Despite his hair, his moonlight, that shone has been cut away, the Sun now did their duty with the Moon in their mind so may the human he admired may still find hope and their way in the darkest of night.

Speaking of humanity, the moon covers a little nowadays but the (ancient) moon acted as a second shield to the Earth's atmosphere. One of the reason of craters, which are created by the impact of asteroids and meteor.

FD was chosen to fight humans but what if it's also to protect other humans? But he is not who he originally supposed to be. What they've done to him was worse than torture... And with no one to guard the moon, it lost its former form and now can barely protect the Earth.

I love the story about the solar eclipse. Sun's grieving is so intense... If the Sun makes you go blind, then the Moon cries for them too.

Moon and ocean are often depicted as lovers because how the ocean is affected by the moon... but imagine if those were the silent cries of the Fierce Diety.

He can barely remember but the sentiments remains. The moon, part of him, his home, now unreachable. His once blue eyes thrown away to the ocean turned into the cries of ceaseless wave and his voice became the roaring wind because the sky clouded his beloved Sun.

Cyclones are an attempt of the Fierce Deity going back to his beloved.

But when there sun shines on the sea, it's calm like singing a song and reflects its lights sparkling on the water's surface like once did and forever will in the Deity's eyes.

Even if he can't see his beloved Sun again, he can still feel their warmth endlessly embracing him.

Okay, this turned rather fluffy... I don't mind if you put dosage sprinkles of angst in it.

I LITERALLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE THIS AND YOU AND I NOW OWE MY LIFE TO YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT BE SORRY!!! I WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS INTO MY INBOX ANYTIME!!!!!!!!

Now, if you wish for me to grab this gift and sprinkle drown it in angst? I might be able to do that for you :3

The deity, once so joyful and calm, now is nothing more than a vengeful husk of the god he once was. He was once a protector, the shield against the emptiness of the void, the one who guided those with his light when they were shrouded in darkness, their man-made flickers into nothing but ambers. But now? Now, he painted the land he longed to walk upon red with the blood of the mortals he once protected. Now, he brings death and war with every swing of his intertwined blade.

He walked in the dull moon light, his skin prickling with bitter anger as he bathed his blood soaked form in the light.

No god had felt this much blood under their nails. No god had ever dared to harm and torture the mortals like he had. No god had ever...Avoided the sun's gaze as much as he had.

Others thought he found comfort in the night. Others found it ironic he only attacked under the gaze of his now battered and broken celestial body that hangs in the skin. Other simply thought it was a strategic war plan. But not one thought of how the deity shivered at the thought of acts he'd dared to commit under his lover's rays of light.

No matter how far his mind goes, no matter the lack of memories or emotions he looses over the years, he refuses to plan attacks under the sun's watchful eye. For he wouldn't dare slaughter the mortals the sun loved so dearly. He wouldn't dare become a monster to his Sun like he had to his mortals.

@link-or-sherlock HERES THAT ASK I WAS SCREAMING ABOUT!! /POS

#trippy answers #tales from the void #moon god! fierce deity #loz fierce deity #fierce deity x reader

[girlreviews]

Review #172: Bridge Over Troubled Water, Simon & Garfunkel

Simon & Garfunkel have always been hilarious to me. They are such massive goobers. Goobers with huge egos that dated/married/divorced beautiful women. Both insufferable in their individual specific ways. But also they make the most precious and beautiful music together. They know how good they are but lack self-awareness about literally anything else (like that they’re goobers). Everyone likes it though. You want to not like it because your Mom likes it, but you cannot deny its pull. You like it. It’s good. Have you met anyone that hates Simon & Garfunkel? I haven’t.

It really is good. It opens with the title track, which is a big, gorgeous vocal performance that keeps getting bigger. The accompanying music gets bigger too, without drowning out the vocals. The sentiment of the song is just so lovely too: I’m here for you, you’re my friend. It’s nice not to have an entire album of love songs.

Cecilia could be a love song, I suppose, but it’s really about a man who is desperate to reconcile with a cheating partner who sounds pretty toxic. I’d love to hear Cecilia’s side of the story. I really would. I think about this all the time. Especially because they are both such GOOBERS. It’s a really fun song though. When they do upbeat, they really go for it. See also: Keep The Customer Satisfied, Baby Driver (it has a sax solo, c’mon!).

These Goobers know how to put together a damn fine arrangement that makes some of their songs feel deeper: El Condor Pasa has a really Spanish feel to it with the guitar (duh) and some flutes. It’s a whole vibe, that matches the lyrics. Would I rather be a sparrow or a snail? A forest or a street? A hammer or a nail? These are the big unanswered questions in life, right? No, but it feels like it in this song because it’s mysterious and philosophical. This whole vibe thing is also successful in The Only Living Boy in New York. It sounds like what it’s about, and it’s so beautiful. But totally different to Bridge Over Troubled Water and El Condor Pasa. The slower more ballad-y songs on this album sound like a damn Bob Ross painting.

The Boxer is maybe (???) the most well-known song on this album, but that’s based in absolutely no fact whatsoever on my part. I have no idea. It just seems like most people know that one. Like it got more radio play or something. I like it a lot, but there’s low registering repetitive sound running through it that has always just sort of bugged me. Possibly because I just cannot identify what the instrument is? What is that sound? It could be a cello/double-bass, or some kind of horn, or honestly even a percussion type thing. But I don’t know what it is. Honestly it kind of sounds like a duck to me. I’ve even wondered if it’s a kazoo. I haven’t looked it up, but I could. But will I? I’ll just forget about it until the next time I hear it: Sometimes (often) the duck kazoo is all I can focus on instead of the rest of the song which is pretty fucking pretty.

For a really soft, folky, gentle record made by two goobers, I would also definitively state that it’s somehow full of straight bangers. I could elaborate further on that but I’d suggest you listen to it yourself and you’ll see what I mean.

ETA: it’s a damn BASS HARMONICA. I honestly wasn’t that far off with the kazoo. Also, The Boxer took over 100 hours to record. This blew my mind.

#album review #music #music review #rolling stone top 500 #simon and garfunkel #bridge over troubled water #paul simon #art garfunkel

[loverofcartoons]

So I watched the Prince of Egypt proshot

It wasn’t good

The Bad

The characterizations

Moses and Rameses father Pharaoh Seti is portrayed much more Jovial. In the film is was very stoic and strict which is reflective of him in the Bible. In the film he is honestly pretty scary. In the stage production, his yells at rameses once, but immediately joking around right after.

The Pharaoh when confronted by Moses about the death of the Hebrew babies, states that it wasn’t something he necessarily wanted to do but needed to. The sentiment that “they were just slaves” is absent, which lessens the cruelty of the crime.

As Moses runs into the desert, he clearly isn’t as upset with his father as he should be. The line “ask the man I once called father” is missing during this scene. After Moses left, the pharaoh banishes him but begrudgingly. We see him still grieving Moses absence as he dies.

Rameses is portrayed much the same way throughout the play. Even once Moses returns to beg for the slaves to be set free, Rameses is seen as kind hearted, actually wanting to grant Moses request but is stopped by his wife and the Priest. It isn’t until Rameses son dies that we see a turn in him, but is clearly still being influenced by the priest. In the end, hesitating to kill Moses and sends his soldiers back, letting the Hebrews go.

The costume design

As I understand these costumes were changed for this specific production, but gosh they are bad. They are a strange mix between British royal garb and ancient Egypt Halloween costumes.

All of the royal outfits just feel incredibly out of place

The songs (but mostly The Plagues)

This was the biggest hit for me. They changed Moses and Rameses verses in The Plagues. The Chorus stayed the same the verses were completely changed. The charged emotion that had been there before lost completely. If you want to hear for yourself, go give it a listen on YouTube or Spotify and hear for yourself.

The rest of the song from the film were kept in tact and performed perfectly fine. The new songs are honestly very forgettable. The Act one Finale, Never in a Million years and Heartless seem to be the best among them, but are still just ok. The music itself felt like it belonged in a D tier Disney movie, not a Bible epic.

The absence of dramatic resonance

The stage production has a habit of making the quiet dramatic moments loud or rushing through them entirely. The scene were Moses mother sings a reprise of All I Ever Wanted is supposed to be quiet and comforting, instead, it is belted out. It seemed that every time there was a scene where two characters were talking about something serious, they were just trying to get to the next scene. Never giving the audience time to sit and feel the moment.

The burning bush scene is one of the most impactful scenes in the movie. Although the stage production handles it interestingly enough, using dancers to interpret the fire and all of there voices as one sing the word of God, the scene is too short and throws away the quiet majesty present in the film.

The good

The choreography

The choreography and the dancers themselves were the best part of the whole show. The dancers were often used to tell the story that is difficult to tell on stage. They are the fire, the river, the Red Sea, the desert sands fighting against Moses. They are the hieroglyphics on the walls and the Midianites dancing with Zipporah. It was gorgeous to look at.

More inclusive

For those of you who were not aware, the film cast of Prince of Egypt was astonishingly white. In this production almost every member of the main cast is a person of color.

This production also tries to put more focus on its female characters. They actually introduce us to Rameses wife Nefertari. Showing that they were forced into marriage by both of their families. Moses wife Zipporah is also given slightly more emphasis. There is an added scene of Zipphrah and Moses flirting while Moses watches the sheep, enabling us to see a bit of their courtship which is complied into a montage in the film. While fleeing with the Hebrews, she has an emotional moment expressing how much she will miss her family, never being able to see them again.

Moses and Rameses mother is also given an extra scene during The Plagues, pleading with Moses to stop and see reason.

Conclusion

The prince of Egypt musical looks spectacular with its stellar choreography, staging and lighting, but falls insanely flat with its costume design and script. They took an amazing, epic story of two brothers at odds that felt almost Shakespearean at times, and made it feel entirely childish. It’s almost as if they didn’t think the audience could handle the original interpretation and decided to water it down.

If you, for some reason, have Broadway HD and love the film, give this one a pass.

#prince of egypt #prince of egypt the musical #broadway #musical theater #musicals #west end #broadway HD #prince of egypt proshot #musical proshot #musical review #the prince of egypt #the prince of egypt musical #theater #theatre #plays #stage production #more proshots please #stephen schwartz #costume design #choreography

[putschki1969]

[KEIKO]  "CUTLERY" Feels Like a Collection of Short Stories with Various Main Characters

Source: https://avexnet.jp/column/detail.php?id=1000604

Interesting tidbits:

All songs were written by a different composer and feature a different type of protagonist. It was fun for Keiko to slip into various roles

She explains her fast-paced releases with wanting to escape boredom. Everyone is getting bored easily these days and constantly looking for change (including herself) so having all these new singles and a new album every year feels exciting to her [I obviously understand the thought process behind this but I’d personally prefer higher quality and less frequency]

The title “CUTLERY” was inspired by her regular Uber Eats orders. Every order seems to have an option to add “cutlery”. Keiko feels like most people are probably familiar with the term by now. They are fashionable everyday items so the word seemed fitting for an album title

Keiko decided on the tracklist order by trying to find the most suitable placement within a person’s daily life (commuting, working, taking a walk, spending time at home, relaxing in bed, etc)

For the beginning she wanted some exciting up-tempo songs so no one would get bored. “Watashi Update” basically had to be even more crazy and unexpected than “Alcohol”. She compares “Watashi Update” to modern J-POP which apparently has a lot of words and less music. [Maybe one of the reasons why II can’t really get into this type of song]

The lyrics for “Watashi Update” are described as eccentric and rather self-centred. They reflect the thoughts of a young protagonist who is rambling to herself. That’s something that resonated with Keiko.

“Alcohol” with its sound and lyrics is quite sexy. Even though Keiko doesn’t drink alcohol she thinks the song has “Keiko-vibes”. It conveys a sort of tsukkomi image.

“Yoru no Uso to” features a very reserved and polite woman putting up a strong front in the face of a separation. The song awakens thoughts of someone you hold dear. Thoughts you wouldn’t usually allow yourself to indulge. Keiko feels like everyone has those kinds of feelings about someone which you would rather avoid or keep secret (whether it be a person of the opposite sex or the same sex) [Ohhh! Keiko once again sneaking in some possible hints. Makes the song even better!]

“KIRAI.” is apparently a song fitting for the TikTok generation but it probably also appeals to millennials. Keiko really likes it when girls are defiant and just won’t put up with any shit basically. The many rhymes and wordplays make the song sound light and fun but the topic is actually not that light since Keiko is singing about various worries of girls.

“Close to you” is soft and mature. A time to catch your breath between “KIRAI.” and “Amanojaku”. The structure is not very dynamic so quite unorthodox but it’s a gentle build-up. This was originally supposed to be in “dew” but she didn’t think it would fit.

Keiko highlights the peculiar guitar arrangement in “Amanojaku”. The song was written by a guitarist so there’s a lot of attention on the guitar. She thinks the girl in this song is incredibly cute.

“Fly, Black Swan” has a nice bass. Originally it was more jazz-y and digital sounding. The protagonist of this song is once again a woman but this time from the point of view of a man.

“Yura Yura” also has a sort of jazz-y feel but very different to the previous track. Strong vocals and impressive strings are what stands out here. There is a nostalgic and sentimental atmosphere.

“Your” was difficult. They lowered the key significantly compared to the original demo. She was advised to sing this a little aggressively and sharply with a strong male image.

“Hitori Janai Kara” was born out of her feelings during and after the pandemic. But she didn’t want a song that was too pushy and in your face. She feels like everyone has released songs like that during the pandemic because depression was strong. This is just a quiet statement to take time and face yourself.

#kalafina #keiko #news #keiko solo work #CUTLERY #my su #summary #keiko 3rd album #some interesting thoughts

[spaceyflowerswriting]

MORE JAMES LEE HIGHSCHOOL AU 😍😍😍😍‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😍‼️😍‼️😍‼️😍‼️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

stars (james lee x reader; highschool au)

details: fluffy oneshot, gender neutral reader written in 2nd pov, general canon/highschool au, you and james are dating

summary: james stargazes with you.

a/n: HGWEHJSDDJ as u wish, drowsy ^_^ 💖 thanks for the request !!

also i listened to this lovely song while writing this <3 its the mood for this piece!!

×

James wished he could live in this moment forever. It was such a simple, mundane activity, but having you there made it much more special. That, and probably because it was late at night so those weird nostalgic feelings were beginning to settle in. Not to mention, his teenhood alongside yours was coming to an end, so he supposed he was also just wishing this moment would last longer before he was pushed into being an adult.

There were a lot of memories he wanted to make with you while you two were teens, actually. At least he could cross stargazing off the list now.

"Hey," he said, turning towards you.

"What? Did you see another constellation to boast your knowledge on?" was your snarky reply, but James just laughed.

"If you're jealous of my wide array of knowledge, just say so."

You huffed in an attempt to sound annoyed, but were unable to hide the smile on your lips. "You're lucky we're holding hands and laying down or I'd reach over to whack you."

James just laughed more, his heart warming. He was beyond happy to find comfort in the casual bickering between the two of you. "Oh no, I'm so scared~"

"You're insufferable."

"Only for you, babe."

"Ugh."

Soft laughter was shared between the two of you before James gave your hand a light squeeze. "Seriously, though, I want to tell you something."

"Yes?"

He took a deep breath. "Thank you so much for being my best friend and partner. Ever since you entered my life, things have been a lot more fun."

"Aw," you cooed, "Where's this suddenly coming from, though? I mean, I appreciate your words and feel the same, but it's not like you to randomly get sentimental."

Your confirmation relieved James of his wonder if the feeling was mutual. "Well, you know..." He turned to look at you, but you were still busy admiring the stars. "I guess I'm just feeling nostalgic because it's late."

"Makes sense."

"Uh-huh." James cleared his throat. "Another thing I want to tell you is that I'd like to make plans for our future."

The last two words made you jerk your head towards him. Your voice sounded mildly urgent as you asked, "What does that mean?"

He blinked at you in confusion until he realized the implication of what he said and chuckled. "I'm not talking about marriage yet."

"Yet?" Your expression began to look flustered until he winked at you. Then it just became a deadpan.

"I can see it in our future, can't you?"

"I don't know... the thought is nice, but I wanna get my adult life sorted out first, before I commit to something like that. You know?"

James nodded. "Same here. Which brings me to my idea of making plans: we're only teens for so long, you know? I think we should make a list of things we'd like to accomplish together before the end of the school year. It'd make for a lot of fun memories."

You pondered his suggestion, but not for a long. "That is a good idea. Let's do it," you replied, grinning.

"Perfect!" As if perfectly timed, a yawn followed after. "But we'll get started on it tomorrow when I'm less tired."

"Pft, if you're tired, we should go home."

James pouted, leaning his head to lightly knock it against yours. "But I still want to hang out with you."

You minicked his action. "I can't sleepover at your place again or my parents will really start questioning us."

"Damn..."

"If only we were a married couple now."

The sudden thought embarrassed him but he was quick to avoid it by continuing on to say, "I suppose we should just head home then."

You thankfully didn't seem to have noticed his slight demeanor change. "Sounds good."

James sat up first, helping you get up by pulling your weight. The two of you let each other's hands go to dust yourselves off before he bent down to pick up the picnic blanket you both were laying on to neatly fold up. After that, he casually reached for your hand again, and your fingers intertwined with his once more.

"By the way, what was your favorite star or constellation that we saw?" James questioned, just so the walk back home wouldn't start off awkwardly silent.

"Hm... not sure." You swung his hand back and forth as the both of you walked. "There were a lot of pretty ones. What was your favorite?"

He put on a cheeky grin and leaned down slightly to get closer to your face. "The ones I see in your eyes."

You were stunned into silence by the cheesy pickup line, but the second he started laughing, you wheezed and joined in. Lighthearted banter followed after, and James had never felt so content with his life.

"There really is no one I'd rather fall in love with than my best friend."

#lookism x reader #james lee x reader #james lee #dg lookism #requests #plopifuee #what is it with stargazing being so intimate/romantic <3

[kindly-whisper-norbury]

Please step lightly and proceed with caution, as there are sensitive subjects ahead.

This is a hard, hard personal post for me to make, and I know that I do not have to make it, and I have no right to lay this on all of you, but there are people here that I care about and that I know care about me, so please bear with me.

I will be leaving Tumblr for a while, as something has happened in my family that is so very hard to deal with right now.

My son and his girlfriend were in a motorcycle accident. He survived, she did not. He is blaming himself because he was driving, and his heart and soul are broken. He hasn't stopped crying for days. He loved her so very much. He was so, so happy with her. They had plans, they had adventures they wanted to go on.

She lived with us, for only a short time but in that time I had come to see her as one of my own children. She worked with both my son and my daughter in the same place, and to my daughter she was like a little sister.

So you see why I am going away, why I cannot stay here for now. We don't know what the future has in store, but it isn't the future we had in mind, and we have to figure out where we are going with our lives. I am sorry, I know I have no right to bring you down with me, but I need to scream, and this is as close as I can allow myself to get.

My writing will have to wait, my stories will all be put on hiatus until I have the strength to work on them again. I know I don't have very many readers, but I am still sorry for leaving you few who do read my stories without updates.

And although it may seem strange, before I leave completely, I will be making a playlist. A means to cope, I suppose. Songs with lyrics that say better the way I feel than I ever could express. That will be the last thing I will be posting before I vanish from Tumblr.

But before that, this:

Some years ago, I wrote a drabble. Some few here might recognize it, though with the genders reversed. Its original context, in this case, does not matter; the sentiment remains the same, and the meaning, for me, is deeper than ever:

They called it falling in love, but he didn't know what that meant.

Falling was fearful, a mistake, an accident. Falling was something children did when they learned to walk; something old folk did when their age reached their legs.

That was not what this felt like. This was air beneath him, a flowing breeze, soaring, his heart thrumming inside his chest.

Then, in an instant, she was gone. And the ground rushed up to meet him, and his thoughts went black...

And he knew they called it falling because it did not hurt until you came to the end.

#personal #tw: death #tw: accident #tw: motorcycle accident #tw: mourning

[paintedmered]

lyrical analysis of fortnight (ft. post malone) by taylor swift

disclaimers

my analysis will consider the album epilogue, in which taylor explains that her relationship with matty was 'not a love affair!' but a form of 'self-harm' stemming from a 'manic phase' as her relationship with joe disintegrated and then completely fell apart· it will take into account taylor saying matty 'love-bombed' her while feasting on 'low-hanging fruit'.

idc what matty stans think. i'm analysing taylor's perspective, not yours.

if you disagree with my interpretation, you don't need to attack me.

analysis!

based on taylor's amazon music commentary and my own interpretation of the song, fortnight seems to be a hypothetical future where she stays with joe and they get married, but he's not the person she's meant to be with. it picks up where hits different leaves off ('is it you or have they come to take me away?' / 'i was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me') – after the break described in hits different, joe returned to her (it was his key in the door, after all) and they gave the relationship another try... but they shouldn't have. she needed out of it for the sake of her mental health. no one intervened, and she now wishes they had. saying they simply 'forgot' to come get her shows how she feels like she slipped through the cracks... (this also calls back to 'my friends found friends who care' from dear reader. she's been checked out with them, so they've been checked out with her.) a similar sentiment is given by 'i was a functioning alcoholic 'til nobody noticed my new aesthetic'. no one noticed how much she was struggling. now she feels more unwell than ever.

the relationship has progressed to the point that they're husband and wife, but their problems haven't been solved... he's cold towards her. he's cheating on her. (this represents the emotional cheating or weird almost-cheating that's implied elsewhere on the album to have actually happened ('he was with her in dreams' / 'fell victim to interloper's glances' / 'i founded the club she's heard great things about' / 'go home to their husbands, smug 'cause they know they can trust him') but also how she feels like his physical cheating is therefore inevitable in this hypothetical future.)

she wants another guy (matty), but he's also married to someone else now. she recalls/fantasises about a fortnight she spent with this guy (likely representing 2014, though whether it was literally or figuratively a fortnight is unclear – the point is that it was a short time). all her days are mondays (widely considered the worst day of the week) in an endless february (one of the coldest, most depressing months of the year) – her existence is merely something to endure. she 'loves' both men, but it's ruining her life. (one is unfaithful and keeps her trapped ('locks and ceilings' on fresh out the slammer), while the other makes her dream of destroying her life as she knows it...) she hates her cheating husband. she hates the other guy's perfectly nice wife. she feels insane and wants to kill someone.

taking the album epilogue into account, my reading of this is: fortnight was the fear – what she saw as the situation taken to its logical end if she didn't leave joe. matty whispered 'what if?' in her ear a lot when things were bad with joe, selling her the 'get-love-quick scheme' referred to in the epilogue – 'what if it's meant to be us? i've always wanted you. i've grown up. i'm ready to give you all the things you want that he won't give you!' ...and in her desperation, she thought, 'what if he's right? what if joe isn't my destined love? what if i stay with him just hoping things will be good again but they never are? what if i'm not meant to marry him anyway? what if i regret not taking a chance on this other guy, and he was meant to be the one all along?' (this is despite the fact that they were only ever involved very briefly in the past, possibly betraying that this 'love' is superficial. she's an unreliable narrator from the beginning of this record, and reality consistently slips through. she touched him for only a fortnight... still, she touched him. some important subtext here is that means she doesn't have to start all over with someone brand new...)

ultimately, she HAS to find out 'what if?'. so at the end of the song, she runs away to florida, buys the car this guy wants and lets him touch her again. there's a LOT of symbolism here: the car she thinks she's bought is actually the rental car he crashes in loml – it's not really hers, just something she uses for a short period of time. the setting of florida leads to the song florida, which contains the same/similar symbolism in the form of the 'timeshare down in destin'. the car is also a getaway car. it will only start up when she lets him touch her again because she's realised the only way to leave her relationship with joe and find out 'what if?' with matty is to actually just DO IT – to go be with him instead of just thinking about being with him (see also: guilty as sin?).

...the rest of the album is her realising she wishes she'd just left it alone ('it was unnecessary, should've let it stay buried' from loml). (this is also why the ivy/wcs mashup happened on tour, imo – he planted roots in her dreamland... but now that she knows, she wishes he'd left her wondering!)

- END -

analysis of other tracks coming soon?

#taylor swift #the tortured poets department #fortnight #fortnight ft. post malone #taylor swift meta #taylor swift lyrical analysis #my posts #text