#i gotta work up the nerve to get through the rest of the story before i feel like i can start again lmao

[moomoomooing]

i miss my ocs

adonis is die hard itzy fan

#he gives me those vibes #also this piece has been SO self indulgent already i love using saturated colours like this #disclaimer i havent listened to itzy since icy came out LMAO #still in love with the ITZYYYYYY adlib they have #also this isnt me getting back intontwst just yet #i gotta work up the nerve to get through the rest of the story before i feel like i can start again lmao #my ability to draw ppl has tanked recently cause all ive drawn are my chibi animals so #moomoos doodles #adonis #twisted wonderland oc

[barzysunflower]

As a story request Since we see barzal at charity events when if he meets y/n there but she was a waiter serving she takes those gig sometimes to make extra cash but she serves some sleezy men who whistle at her and while she was surviving drinks barzal stands up with out see her above her by accident she spills the drinks on her self all the guys at the table yelling and her even her boss barzal helps her and apologizes but at the same times he’s like so mesmerizing by her but her boss ends up yelling at her telling her to go to the back while and mat just say it was his fault don’t blame her but the boss being a bitch says no it’s her fault bla bla but barzal trying to find her he thought it was over when he doesn’t see her anymore and he can’t just leave the charity he’s gotta stay Intill the end he lost all hope and felt bad for getting her in trouble but faith came true because since the players were the last to leave he sees her just waiting for her Uber he immediately goes to her and then… ending anyway you want :)

hii thank you for the request 🫶🏼 I hope you like this one!!

wc: 1.2k

once upon a time — mat barzal

It was a late summer evening and you strolled around the pier, enjoying the breeze and last moments of peace before you'd have to clock into work. You already had a long day of work behind you, but New York was expensive, so you took waitressing gigs at all kinds of fancy events to get some extra cash. While the money was great, those few hours were extremely stressful and sometimes the clientele you were serving could get on your nerves.

You were right to take those extra few moments looking at ocean, the horizon, to just daydream, as when you walked into event you could immediately tell it was going to be a bad night. But you sucked it up and went to work. Despite the new manager already yelling at everyone making you want to turn right back around when you walked in.

You were running around all night, serving food, taking plates away, and dodging older creepy men trying to hit on you. But it was part of your job to keep that polite smile on your face while also remaining invisible, so that's what you did.

It was later that night though, when things really escalated that had you evaluating whether the money you'd make that night was truly worth it. You were serving more drinks to probably the loudest table at the event, but honestly they were having the most fun and were the only table that hadn't pissed you off yet, when one of the guests stood up, pushing his chair right into you and spilling the tray of drink all over your- and himself.

"Oh my god! I am so sorry." The guy immediately apologized, scrambling to pick up the broken glass off the floor. A few seconds filled with shock and extreme awareness that the entire ballroom's attention was on you had you standing still, but you quickly bent down to help manage the mess.

"I'm so sorry." He apologized again.

"No, totally my bad. And please stop, that's my job," you cut in, still not looking up to meet his gaze.

"No, I didn't look before I got up. I'm so sorry." You finally looked up at the intriguing voice to look into beautiful green eyes. He stared back just as intensely as you did, both of you stopped shoving pieces of glass on to the serving tray. The rest of his face was just as beautiful, but you didn't have much more time to stare at him further as the angry voice of your manager cut through that little bubble.

"What the hell happened?"

You were the first one up, barely meeting the intense gaze of your manager. "I tripped. I'm sorry–"

"No," the green eyed beauty quickly interrupted. "It was totally my fault. I got in her way, I didn't look where I was going."

Your manager gave him an apologetic look, but he could hide the anger behind it. "No, it's her fault. She's to be invisible, meeting your needs. She should watch where she's going."

"No, really–” But his attempt was cut off again, you manager now apologizing to the table, to him, and waving over more staff to come clean up the mess. Then he turned to you with a furious look on his face that he kept hidden behind a fake smile.

“You. In the back. Now.” You flinched at his words, knowing it couldn’t lead to good ending. Tears welled up in your eyes. You were exhausted and overwhelmed and someone yelling at you for something that wasn’t your fault just added to your breaking point. But you wouldn’t break just yet. Not in front of this group. Not in front of the handsome stranger, who was still advocating for you to your manager – though useless – and shooting you apologetic looks. “Now!”

That’s when you finally moved, around the people cleaning the mess, walking as fast as possible away from the prying eyes of everyone in the room. In the kitchen, the other servers who definitely witnessed what happened came to your aid with some water and encouraging words, but they quickly went back to work when that beast of a manger came storming in after you.

To say that you were let go would be an understatement. He did not listen to a word of defense you tried to offer and instead turned your termination into a lecture for all of the staff on how not to do the job. No one spoke or rebelled his words, everyone including you just silently staring at him as he yelled. You stopped listening a while ago, fully knowing none of this was your fault and that there had to be something terribly wrong with him to fire you for one mistake.

When the manager’s speech was finally over and you were ordered to leave, you did so without hesitation. So you left, ran from this horrible day. Ran from this horrible job. The only thing haunting you as you ran were those beautiful green eyes.

***

“Then what happened?” The small girl curled up into your right asked, fighting a yawn.

“Yeah! What about the prince? Did he run after her?” You turned away from her to look into the eyes of your firstborn, her green eyes lighting up in excitement.

“He did,” you answered, not hiding your smile. “In fact, he was so anxious to catch up to her that he left the ball early, asking everyone in sight if they had seen her. All he wanted to do was apologize to her. It took him a while, but he did eventually find her outside, just as she was about to get into a car- a carriage. He leaped into traffic, stopping the girl just in time, but not without causing a bunch of passengers to angrily honk and yell in protest.” The two girls giggled at your dramatics.

“Well, it was worth it. She was so beautiful he couldn’t not go after her and do anything to talk to her.” The deep voice wrapped around your heart, warming it.

“Was?,” you playfully asked your husband, looking your eyes with his beautiful green ones that your daughter had inherited.

“Is. She still is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” You smiled at each other, both remembering when Mat caught up to you, out of breath and messed up hair from the wind. He rambled on for a while, apologizing for getting you in trouble and his adventure of finding out more about you and were you had gone, only stopping when you laughed at him calling your manager a brainless shithead. It was the prettiest laugh he’d ever heard and told you so. Your blushing only grew his own smile and you had no idea what came over you when you returned the compliment. He convinced you to stay and walk with him for a bit along the pier and you talked and talked and talked as if you had known each other for ages.

“Did they get married?,” your seven year old daughter asked.

“They did,” you answered, still smiling. “And they had three of the most beautiful children.”

You looked over the king sized bed with your family in it, Mat on his side with your five year old son fast asleep on top of him, your three year old daughter next to you and your oldest squished between you and Mat. And you thanked the lucky stars for that horrible job and Mat’s horrible lack of awareness of his surroundings.

#mat barzal #mathew barzal #mat barzal fic #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal imagine #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey fics #hockey imagine #nhl blurbs #new york islanders

[paintyoureyeswithavividmind]

close to home | chapter sixty seven

close to home | chapter sixty seven

plot: the reader learns how dangerous this new threat is

series masterlist

Pairing: Eventual Daryl Dixon x f!reader Word Count: 2,124 Warnings: violence, blood, typical twd, torture, character deaths A/N: thank you for reading!! Also can we talk about how much the reader has grown?? Like this story has come such a long way and I was looking through some comments on earlier chapters and the reader seems so young and small in the beginning

You walked into your old room after a long, hot shower. You showered in Alexandria every day you were there, but it still didn’t feel like enough. You sat on your bed and brushed and braided back your hair before picking out something to change into. 

But before you did that, you stood in front of the closet mirror and stared at your body. In the past week, you’d grown bigger. Your swell was a bit more rounded, and if you walked around with no shirt on, anyone could tell you were pregnant. You were at least fifteen weeks by now. And being this your second pregnancy, you would show a lot quicker. 

Still, you weren’t expecting it to be that fast. 

You quickly got dressed in a sports bra and a green and blue flannel that once belonged to Carl. You put on a jacket and then slid into your boots before you went to find Daryl. It didn’t take long; he was with all the group leaders in Ezekiel’s old throne room. 

They were in the middle of discussing Lydia, and you listened to Tara and Michonne as you walked up to your husband. He was sitting on the stage, and when he saw you, he opened his arm out to you. It wrapped around your waist as you leaned into his side and put your arm around his shoulder. 

You smiled and rested your chin on the top of his head as you watched Michonne and Tara come back together, and then the King broke up the agreement between the communities. After so long, it felt like things were finally back together. Even though there was a new threat.

“Let us enjoy the fair,” Ezekiel proclaimed after signing the paper. 

You grabbed Daryl’s hand and forced him to stand up. “Come on, I wanna walk around with you.”

“Do we have to?” He asked you. 

“Yes, we have to,” You mimicked his tone and pushed back his hair so you could see his face. “Do you want me to get you a cane, old man?”

***

The early autumn air was perfect for the fair. Children were laughing and running around, and you smelt some type of food each time the wind blew. It was the perfect opportunity to tell Daryl that you were pregnant, but every time you tried to work up the nerve to do it, you ran into someone to talk to. 

You were walking hand in hand with Daryl, eating a candied apple. “It almost feels like normal. Like life is normal.” You said. 

Daryl stopped by an empty picnic bench and nodded. You lifted the apple so he could take a bite as you moved to stand closer to him. 

“I would’ve loved to go to the county fair with you,” You reminisced. “I bet you’d try to win me something and then start a fight with the guy when you couldn’t.”

He shook his head, but you saw the corners of his mouth turn up. “Would not.”

“Do you have to go out later?” You asked, leaning your chest against his. 

“I gotta. I brought her back here.”

“What if I beg you?”

His cheeks heated up as he grabbed your hand to bring the apple to his mouth. “As temptin’ as it is, I can’. And I’ll be back tonight. You can beg me for somethin’ else then.”

Now it was your turn to blush, and you leaned forward to kiss him. Both of your lips were sweet from the apple, and you licked it off your lips. “Like what?”

“What ya always beggin’ me for.”

Your cheeks heated up further, and you slowly shook your head. You looked back up at him. “Daryl, I have to tell you so.-”

“Daryl,” Michonne called out. “You ready?”

You sighed and stepped away from your husband. 

“What was ya gonna say?”

“Nothing, I can tell you when you get back. Be safe, okay? No risks. No big adventures. Come home to me tonight, Dixon.”

He leaned down and kissed you quick. “Yes, ma’am.”

***

An hour later, you were walking with Tara when something hit you in the back of your head, and you were out. 

When you came to, it was dusk, and you were tied and bound somewhere you didn’t recognize. Through teary eyes, you looked at Tara, Enid, Siddiq, and even Frankie. Some of them you didn’t know. You didn’t understand what was going on or what had happened until the doors opened and freaks started walking in. 

You struggled to say something through your gag and braced yourself for whatever would come next, but they walked right past you. And Siddiq. You struggled against the post that you were tied to, but no matter how much you moved, it wouldn’t budge. 

So you screamed and screamed, kicking out your feet to help protect your friends. But it didn’t do them any good. One by one, they fell. First Frankie. You screamed through the gag and raged; it was soaked with your tears and spit. 

Then Tammy Rose fell, and more and more. You kept screaming until your voice was hoarse, until you thought you’d suffocate from the soaked rag and rage. 

And then Enid fell, and then Tara. And lastly, Henry.

And still, you screamed and screamed as their heads were cut off and piled into a bag. You kicked and pulled and did everything in your power. You felt blood on your wrists and could taste it in your mouth. 

And then Alpha was in your face, and she pulled out your gag. 

“You monster!” You screamed, trying to kick her. Your voice was so hoarse it cracked with each syllable. “They didn’t do anything to you!” 

“Oh, but they did. They took my daughter.”

You tried to kick her again, and she tsk’ed you multiple times, pulled out one of her knives, and held it flat against your chin. “You best behave now.”

Siddiq tried to speak through his gag, but it was inaudible. 

“Just kill me and get it over with,” Your voice cracked. It hurt to talk. 

Alpha signaled to someone behind you, and they grabbed you, untying the ropes and forcing you to stand. Then you were tied up again. 

“Oh, I wanted to kill you, girl.” She said. “I wanted you to be first on my list to teach that man a lesson.” She grabbed the collar of your flannel and sliced the knife down the center. The buttons flew off, and you shivered in the cold air. “But when I first met you, I saw you holding your stomach, and then this afternoon, I saw you through your bedroom window.”

You felt the tip of the knife press against your stomach, and you tried to back away. “Don’t. Don’t.” Your voice cracked in both terror and desperation. 

“I can’t kill an unborn child; it’s an act of the devil.” She said. “So I can’t kill you. But I can hurt you. And oh, will you hurt.” 

***

Your hands above you were shaking against the pike. The gag in your mouth was tied so tightly it was hard to breathe. It was soaked with blood and tears from swollen eyes. You knew one was black and blue, but it could open. And your nose was broken; it had to be. Your legs were so weak you’d given up using them, and your jeans were bloody and dirty, and your body hung heavily on your tied-up arms. 

Your head smacked against the post, and you coughed up blood. Your face felt as if you were split in two. You could barely make out Beta as he grabbed you by the throat, and you felt the impact of his fist before you registered he was punching you again. You fell to your knees and wrapped your hands around your belly.

“Don’t hurt my baby,” You struggled to say through a mouthful of blood.

Dried blood covered your forearms and dripped down onto your exposed skin. The insides of your upper arms were also coated, and you could still feel the cold knife when she cut into your skin. Not deep enough to kill you, but enough to scar. 

Your own scream drowned out your ears as you felt the sharp edge of the knife trace along your forearm. Blood poured from your arm and into the ground. Alpha stared down at you as she traced the knife up and up in one extended cut. 

“Stop! Please, I’m begging you!

Your flannel hung loosely at your sides, your sports bra being the only coverage in your front. But each time you breathed in, or the cold morning air blew, the words cut into your stomach stung.

“You’re gonna be their last warning,” Alpha said. “Don’t you worry now, I won’t cut deep enough to hurt the precious life.”

Beta covered your mouth with his hand to cover your blood-curdling screams.

You’d been out here for hours. Since the stars went away and the sun came up. You were vaguely aware that someone was watching you because any walker that wandered by was drawn away. 

Everywhere hurt, and you prayed to God you didn’t lose the baby. You prayed that it was still in there, holding on. Its parents were fighters. You prayed it was, too, even in the womb. 

You could hear the groans of your dead friends above you, but you couldn’t lift your head to see who was above you. You were delirious and lost more blood than you were comfortable with. If you stayed here longer, you’d die. 

There was rustling in the woods down below the hill, but you could barely open your eyes to see it. Everything was too hazy. 

You vaguely heard voices, and you tried to lift your head. Your world swayed as you did, and you felt your hands twitch. 

It was Michonne’s voice you recongnized first, and you moaned in pain at the sound of it. You tried to lift your head again, and only saw your family for a second before you had to let your head drop. 

“Who-who is that?”

“No!” Daryl screamed. Daryl. Your husband. 

You felt his hands on your face and he carefully titled it upward. “Oh my God,” He mumbled. You couldn’t open your eyes. Everything was too heavy.

You softly groaned, trying to say something to him. But his hands left your face and your head dropped. You heard him throw up. 

You heard Carol screaming, and crying, and Michonne saying something to her. But you couldn’t pick up on anything. 

“(Y/N)’s alive,” You heard Siddiq say. “She left her alive…”

“Oh God,” It was Daryl again, and you felt his hand on your belly. “No, no, no. I need help now!” He removed the gag from your mouth, and cold, bitter blood spilled past your lips.

Someone was behind you, untying your wrists, and you immediately fell as soon as you were free. But Daryl caught you in his arms and carefully put you on the grass. 

“Come on, stay with me.” His hands shook your face. 

You groaned and tried to lift your arm. 

“I have medical supplies in my bag. She needs water. What did they do to her?” Yumiko. 

You parted your lips when you felt water against them and forced yourself to drink greedily. But it lurched in your empty stomach immediately, and you started choking. 

“Get her on her side. 

As soon as you were, you threw all the water up and dry heaved. Your eyes finally opened due to all the tears, and then you collapsed back onto your back. 

“(Y/N), oh thank God,” Daryl said when he saw your eyes open. “Work faster!”

“I’m going!” Yumiko yelled. 

Your voice was hoarse as you struggled to talk. 

“What, what is it?”

“Alpha…” You choked out. You lifted your shaky hand, and Daryl grasped it. “Our… baby… don’t let it die.” Your throat ached with each word.

Daryl was crying harder than you’d ever seen him before. His hand pressed against your swollen belly. “Nobody’s dyin’, darlin’.”

“What does that say? Oh my God, (Y/N)...” Michonne said. 

Yumiko paused and looked at your stomach. “‘Last warning. Her head next.’. We gotta get her back. She needs more than what I have.”

You felt both Daryl and Yumiko sit you up, and you started yelling in pain, and then crying. “My baby, my baby…”

“Oh my God,” Daryl mumbled. “We gotta move ya.”

You screamed louder as he picked up your body, and you felt light headed. Your eyes rolled back and your head went slack.

#daryl x y/n #daryl dixion x reader #the walking dead daryl #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixon x reader #daryl x reader #daryl dixon #twd #daryl twd #daryl x you

[mendessi]

the moon (alternate ending)

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader

summary: you're with the millers on the day of the outbreak and it tears you apart that you couldn't help save sarah

word count: 7.1k

warnings: canon typical violence, death, no smut in this one sorry, soft joel, angry joel, dad joel, all the joels, literal heartbreak, mentions of sex, you're a trauma nurse, no use of y/n, mentions of unknown pregnancy/miscarriage (reader does not end up with child in the end)

author's note: here is the original part one to the moon and the stars series, this is a bonus alternate ending that i thought would be interesting (: this is pretty much the same story as the first one, minor changes and of course the alternate ending this is dedicated to @josephquinnswhore because now they don't have to sell their kidney (;

masterlist

minors DNI

"Is he awake?" You asked as you peaked your head into the Miller residence.

"He's still sleeping. His alarm has been going off for like five minutes." Sarah replied. You made your way to Sarah and kissed her cheek. "I'm gonna start breakfast. We're having pancakes."

"He doesn't like pancakes." You said pouring the coffee grounds into the coffee maker so it would be fresh when Joel came downstairs. You weren’t a coffee drinker but your boyfriend was.

"We do, though." Sarah smiled cheekily and you returned one back to her.

"I'll go get him up." You said making your way up the stairs towards Joel's bedroom. You sighed at the fact that his alarm was indeed still going off. The man would sleep through an earthquake if he had the opportunity. Luckily for him they weren't much a threat in Austin, Texas.

You had been seeing Joel for a little over a year now since he came into the ER, needing stitches from an accident he had on a job site. Joel couldn't stop flirting and the fact that you refused to give in to him made him want you even more. He only flirted because the thought of a needle going in and out of his skin made him want to squirm and the pretty face in front of him was a nice distraction. Your soft voice helped ease his nerves,  and Joel didn't typically go out and look for relationships prior to you, more so for the sake of Sarah, but he couldn't help it. You were stunning, "the most stunning to ever step foot in Austin" Joel would say. By the time you brought him his release forms, you couldn't help but agree to a  first date. He was charming to say the least.

You moved to Austin to obtain your RN at the University of Texas from Seattle and ended up falling in love with the city so you decided to stay and get a job at the local hospital as a trauma nurse in the emergency room. Luckily you did or you would've never met Joel. 

"Baby, wake up." You shut off the alarm and crawled into bed next to a shirtless Joel who lazily wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into his chest. You lay like that for a moment, enjoying each other's presence before you both had to get up for the day. He appreciated this as your morning routine; you’d stop by in the morning and have breakfast together before work, and sometimes you’d bring Sarah to school if he was running late. His eyes slowly fluttered open and a sleepy smile perched on his lips as he looked at you.

"Mornin, beautiful." He said, brushing your hair from your face.

"Happy birthday." You leaned forward placing a soft kiss on his lips to which he moved closer to you, his hand trailing up and down your thigh. You ran your fingers through his hair once you pulled away from the sweet kiss.

"Gotta get up." He huffed, throwing the blankets off himself. He pecked your lips three times and on the fourth one he didn't pull away, grateful that your kiss was how he was woken up on his birthday.

You crawled out of bed and leaned against the door while he grabbed his clothes for the day. You watched him change with your arms crossed over your body, a small smile on your lips that this would eventually be what your morning looked like for the rest of your life. Once he finished, you pulled the door open and the two of you made your way downstairs. Joel couldn't help giving you a love tap on your butt as you rounded the corner to which you glared at him.

"Scrubs." He shrugged, a playful smile tugging at his lips. It was no secret that Joel loved when you were dressed for work, normally in blue or black scrubs that hugged your body just right.

They entered the kitchen to discover that Sarah was standing at the stove making scrambled eggs. The smell made you want to immediately throw up which was unusual because you liked eggs and never had a problem with them before. Joel must've forgotten to grab a box of pancake mix during the most previous grocery trip.

"Where's the pancake mix?" Sarah asked.

"Oh, was I... I was. Sorry." Joel sighed walking towards the cabinet to get a mug.

"I was gonna make you birthday pancakes." She sighed adding under her breath, "I swear."

"You know, I don't really like pancakes." He said reaching for the coffee pot.

"I know you don't like them. It was for our benefit." Sarah said grabbing the orange juice from the fridge and pouring a glass for Joel. You couldn't help but smile at Joel's reaction to Sarah holding the glass out to him. "Vitamin C."

Joel nodded and took a big sip from the glass and you did your best to not snicker at the face he made while drinking it.

"Give it." You said quietly, and he gladly slid the glass across the counter towards you. You picked it up and took a sip, shooting him a wink. He reached up and cupped your face, brushing his thumb across your cheek.

"Love you." He mouthed and even after hearing it a million times over the last six months since he first said it, it still made you blush.

You stood on your tippy toes and kissed him quickly before Sarah turned around and he reached for your hand once you pulled away. You always tried to keep the PDA minimal around Sarah, despite Sarah exclaiming she didn't care if you kissed in front of her. You were grateful that Sarah liked you, it was the one thing you were most afraid of when you found out that Joel had a daughter. Sarah loved you and always begged the question when you'd move in or when you’d get married, to which the couple never had a direct answer for her.

The trio sat around the table eating the eggs and while they ate Sarah's eggs, you opted for a bowl of fruit and some yogurt unable to deal with the stench of the eggs. She wasn't bad at cooking to say the least, but there were only so many different ways to make eggs.

"So how old are you again?" Sarah asked.

"Thirty six." "Old." You and Joel replied at the same time. Sarah giggled as Joel glared at you.

"We can't all be hot, young nurses." Joel said.

"I'm twenty-six, I'm not that young." You rolled your eyes.

"I'm twenty-six, I'm not that young." Joel mocked your very much not southern accent, something he loved to tease you about. Being from the Pacific Northwest was about as far from southern you could get.

"Gonna have to wear diapers soon." Sarah said to her dad, earning a burst of laughter from you.

"Who says I don't already?" Joel fired back and then pulled something from his mouth.

"Calcium." Sarah replied and then shoved the eggs in her mouth through her teeth.

"Lovely." Joel sighed while you continued laughing. He noticed you seemed a little off and rested his hand on your thigh, "You okay, baby?"

"Yeah, I just feel a little sick. I'll be fine, I gotta run." You stood up from your chair and brought her dishes to the sink where you quickly rinsed them off.

"Is there enough for Uncle Tommy?" Joel asked.

"He can have mine." You reply.

"Bye, baby." You leaned down and stole one last birthday kiss from Joel despite Sarah sitting in front of them.

"Be safe." Joel replied. He grabbed your hand as you were walking away and pulled you back towards him, wrapping his arm around your waist from where he sat in the chair for one last squeeze. "Love you."

"Love you." You smiled and waved goodbye to Sarah as you passed Tommy on your way out. "Have a good day everyone."

"What?" Joel asked when he noticed Sarah staring at him with a smug smile after you disappeared behind the garage door.

"It's just nice seeing you two." Sarah replied, standing to grab their plates off of the table. "She takes care of you and I like that."

"Takes care of me?" Joel asked.

"The coffee, the orange juice. I'm happy you have her." She said. "I'm just saying, when I'm off to college it's nice to know she’ll be here taking care of you."

"College is a long ways away." Joel stood up and looked at his phone. "C'mon."

The day went by normally, as normally as it could in the ER. Austin was full of people who never knew when to quit drinking, especially this close to the city. Your day was busy but was normal despite feeling nauseous the entire day. The later in the day it got, the more hectic it grew which wasn’t terribly unusual for a Friday in Austin. Your nausea eventually disappeared as the day went on and you barely had time to think about feeling sick with how many people were coming in. Multiple people started coming in with symptoms like you had never seen before. It wasn't just a few, it was at least a dozen and by the time another hour had passed the number had tripled. You felt bad leaving but you had a co-worker coming in to cover the last half of your shift so you could spend the evening with Joel and Sarah.

"I'm just going to insert your IV, you'll feel a little prick but it'll be done fairly quickly." You sat on a rolley stool next to a patient's bed, prepping his arm for the IV.

As soon as you inserted the needle into his arm, the man yelled and shot up from where he was laying in bed, his fist connecting with your jaw. The sudden outburst shocked you and caused you to fall backwards off of the chair. The man, in a matter of seconds, was on top of you. The other nurses heard the commotion and quickly came to your aide, sedating the man who had attacked you out of nowhere.

"This has to be connected with what's going on in Indonesia." Belle said to you as they stood at the nurse's station. You both were flipping through patient charts, trying to connect dots.

"What's going on in Indonesia?" You asked, holding the ice pack to your jaw.

"Some virus. Making people insane. Eating each other or something crazy. I don't know, it's probably all just fake news anyways." Belle sighed.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. I think my boyfriend is coming down with some type of cold or something. He's got chills and won't stop shivering." Jenny rushed behind the desk and put her things in her drawer. "You look like you had a rough day so I'm officially relieving you of your duty."

"Yeah, I should head out before I'm asked to stay longer anyways with all this chaos going on." You pushed the stack of charts towards Jenny and grabbed your belongings from behind the desk.

"What do you got going on tonight, anyways?" Belle asked.

"Boyfriend's birthday." You replied.

"Oh, the scandal that will be. Have fun." Jenny winked and shoved you towards the door.

By the time you reached the Miller residence the sun had already set. You used your spare key to open the door and let yourself in. Sarah was sitting in the living room watching Lilo and Stitch: The Series on Disney Channel.

"Hey," You sighed collapsing on the couch next to Sarah. "How was school?"

"What happened to your face?" She asked.

"A patient attacked me today. It's fine."

"Dad's gonna flip out when he sees. He made me go to the Adler's after school." She sighed. "But look." Sarah grabbed the box and showed you the watch she had fixed for Joel.

"He's gonna love it." You smiled, looking down at the ticking arms.

"You think so?" You asked.

"Duh. It's from you, that's an automatic win to anything I could've got him." You replied.

"What did you get him?" Sarah asked her.

"Nothing. He made me swear to no gifts 'or else'." You said making Sarah laugh at your use of air quotes. Joel did make you swear to no gifts but your gift was just going to be extremely hot and steamy birthday sex, but Sarah didn't need to know that.

"I really like you. I think you're really good for my dad." Sarah said after a few minutes of silence.

"I really like you too, Sarah. And I really do love your dad, I hope you know that." You replied, looking down at the girl next to you.

"I think I wouldn't mind you being my step-mom." She said.

"Well, maybe one day I will be." You couldn't stop the smile that crept onto your face. You slung your arm around Sarah and the two of you bundled up under a blanket to finish watching Lilo and Stitch.

The clock was approaching ten when you finally heard Joel's keys jingle into the lock. He had swore to be home by nine at the latest but obviously that wasn't the case.

"You locked the door for once." Joel said as he joined them in the living room.

"Yeah." Sarah said. "It's ten."

You stood up to greet Joel with a kiss and then sat back down on the other side of the couch.

"They gave us the wrong size for the headers- that doesn't mean anything to you, I'm sorry. What the hell happened to your face?" Joel tilted your face so he could see it better in the dim light.

"A patient hit me today, it's fine. Just a bruise." You moved his hand from your face and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He was about to reply when Sarah came to the rescue.

"Where's the cake?"

"Shit." He muttered under his breath.

"C'mon man."

Your phone buzzed and you stood up to take the call in the kitchen, glancing down at your pager that was simultaneously going off over and over again.

"Hello?"

“You have to get down here, it's fucking chaos-"

"What? It's Friday, everyone is heading into the city at this time to drink, it'd take me like an hour." You said. You could barely hear what Belle was saying over the noises in the background. You swore you heard screams at some point.

"No, no, no. We need all the hands we can get, the patients are- fuck- sir, back up please! Shit!"

"Belle? Belle? Hello? Fuck." The line went dead and you went back to the living room staring down at your pager that was lighting up with multiple code violets which typically meant violent individuals. "I gotta head back into work."

"What? No." Sarah pouted. "Stay please. We're gonna watch a movie."

"Yeah baby, stay. I don't want you on the roads at this time, people already been drinkin." Joel held his hand out and you couldn't help but take it and sit down next to him.

"Fine, but if Belle calls again I'll have to go in."

"Deal."

Barely an hour into the movie, Joel found himself with the two girls he loved most in his life passed out asleep on him. An urge of protectiveness flooded him and he knew in that moment that you and Sarah were his to love and protect no matter what. It was almost in that moment he decided he'd propose to you before the year ended. The thought almost completed itself until his phone rang with Tommy's number flashing across the tiny screen. After a brief conversation with Tommy, Joel was extremely annoyed with the fact that once again he'd be bailing his little brother out of jail.

He tapped your leg gently until you woke up and kissed your head when you opened you eyes, "I gotta go bail Tommy out, can you stay with Sarah?"

"Of course." You knew not to ask questions when it came to Tommy in jail.

"I'm gonna bring her to her room, you head to bed, yeah?" He lifted Sarah into his arms and together they walked up the stairs. You crawled into bed, still wearing your scrubs from your shift and very easily fell back asleep. You weren’t even aware of the kiss that Joel had placed on your temple or the way that he quietly whispered he loved you before he left to go get Tommy.

You couldn't tell if you were woken up by the transformers blowing outside, the sound of helicopters and gunfire, or your phone buzzing incessantly. You crawled from bed and peeked into Sarah's room to find that she was still sleeping; with all of this noise it was hard to tell how. You rushed downstairs and searched the house for Joel who was nowhere to be found. You finally had the conscious to look at your phone, a breath of relief falling off your lips once you saw Joel's name.

"Joel? What's going on, is everything okay?" You asked, your hands starting to shake slightly. The noises around you were slowly starting to blur into white.

"Get Sarah, hide and lock all the fuckin doors. Now. We're comin to you. Grab my gun and sit still til we get you." Joel said.

"Joel-"

"Just fuckin do it, You!"

Ringing picked up in your ears and you felt like you couldn't move until you heard barking outside. You walked towards the living room and your heart dropped when you saw the front door wide open.

"Sarah?" You felt like throwing up, a different type of nausea than what you felt this morning. Nothing in your gut felt right and you knew that something was off. You stepped outside and looked around, a helicopter flying overhead with a searchlight beaming down on the neighborhood.

"Mrs. Adler?" Your head snapped at the sound of Sarah's voice coming from next door. You made your way next door and quietly went inside, walking on your tiptoes. There are moments when your survival instinct kicks in and you trust your gut no matter what it tells you. This was one of those moments. You knew that you needed to get Sarah and get the hell out of that house.

Your eyes spotted the blood on the floor right before Sarah slipped in it. You tried to keep the sound of your breathing minimal as you approached Sarah from behind and grabbed her wrist. Sarah jumped but luckily didn't vocalize that she had been startled. You brought your finger to your lips signaling to be quiet, but you both had already made too much noise.

You both froze and turned to face the sight in the kitchen which was straight out of a horror movie. Nana looked up at you and slowly rose to her feet. If it came down to it, you would knock the old lady out to protect Sarah, but neither of you were aware it'd take more than that to take her down. She was just an old lady, right? The poor thing couldn't even eat on her own, what's the worst she could do. It turned out they were looking at the worst she could do. Mr. Adler and Mrs. Adler both sprawled out on the ground surrounded in blood seemed good enough to be categorized in "worst", but again... she was an old lady, no way she did all of this on her own. Nana let out an inhuman screech and started charging at the pair. You yanked Sarah back and shoved her towards the door.

"Go, now!" The two ran out of the house, refusing to look back. Both of them stopped at the sight of headlights and Tommy's truck pulling up directly in front of them, the tires screeching to a stop.

"Get in the truck! Right now! Move." Joel got out as soon as the truck had stopped moving, a heavy wrench in his hand. He pushed you and Sarah towards the truck but everybody froze at the sound of Nana coming. She fell off the steps and right onto the ground and everyone thought for a moment that it was done and over with until she shot back up like nothing happened and began sprinting full speed at Joel and his family. He had no choice but to swing the wrench at the old lady. You wrapped your arms around Sarah's shoulders trying to comfort her. Surely that must've been hard to watch for a girl her age.

Joel rushed to Sarah who was seemingly in shock, "You killed her."

"Baby, I'm sorry." He cupped her cheeks and then pulled her into a hug. "Baby, listen to me. It's not just the Adler's, but we're gonna be brave-"

Another transformer blew, cascading green light across their faces. You and Sarah climbed into the backseat and you wrapped your arm around her, knowing that whatever you did wouldn’t be enough to help ease whatever was going on through her head. You did you best to shield her eyes as Tommy hit the Adlers who you were sure were dead. They were running at the truck as if nothing had happened.

Transformers were blowing left and right and you couldn't focus on one single thing in front of you. Joel was probably yelling at you for letting Sarah out of the house and you couldn't even process it. You hated herself for letting Sarah get into that position at the Adlers, you should've paid more attention.

"Baby," you felt Joel's hand on your knee and you snapped your head at him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." You attempted to say but it came out as a whisper.

"We're gonna be fine." He took your hand in his, twisting his arm into the backseat just to hold it. It was comforting but your anxiety levels were skyrocketing.

"How do you know?" Sarah asked, her voice wavering. "How do you know we're not sick?"

"Tommy, let me out." You said suddenly. "I-I-I work in the ER, I've probably been exposed to whatever this is, let me out. I felt sick this morning too. I can't get you sick, I won't."

"No, fuck no." Joel snapped. "You're not gettin out of this truck, dammit."

You put your hand over your face, taking a deep breath to prevent yourself from bursting into tears. Your anxiety hadn't been a problem in years, and it felt like all of it was rushing in on you at once. You didn't want to show signs of panic for Sarah.

"The Adlers would take Nana into the city. To the hospital for stuff." Sarah said.

"You're right. They would. That's probably why. But you ain’t sick. If you were going to get sick you would be by now. And you’re not."

"Fuck." You said under your breath. You couldn't help but think of Belle and Jenny, who both called you earlier begging you to come back into work. They were probably suffering there right now, overrun with this sickness, or they were probably dead. The ER staff was already a small team, who knew how they were holding up under the magnitude of this. Would it even have helped if you went back in? Or would you just be another dead body? If it was like this on the outskirts you couldn't imagine what it was like in the city.

You were ripped from you thoughts by Tommy and Joel arguing in the front seat about where to go. Your vision focused on your surroundings which was a town street full of people running around with no sense of direction. You throat tightened seeing some of them covered in blood, screaming and crying with no clue on what to do.

Tommy put the truck in reverse as they continued discussing different ways off of this street. They didn't care how, they just needed off. Sarah clutched your hand so tight it might've cut off the circulation as she looked out the back window.

"Dad." Sarah said and you turned your head to what Sarah was looking at. "Dad?"

"Tommy, forward. Now." You could feel your heart beating in your ears at the sight of the plane falling out of the sky. You held onto Sarah as the plane collided with ground sending a large explosion into the sky and down the street. Everything was black after that.

There was ringing in your ears as you came to. You could easily tell the truck had flipped by the way that you were sprawled across the ceiling of it. You jumped at the feeling of Joel's hands on your cheeks. Several thoughts rushed your brain all at once, the most present one being how none of you had put your seatbelts on in the rush of escaping the Adlers.

"You're okay. You're okay." He said pulling you by your arms to sit up to which you resisted the urge to scream in pain. You looked around noticing Sarah was standing outside the truck, barely holding her balance on one foot. With one glance you could tell she had either severely sprained it, or fractured it.

"My shoulder. It's dislocated, I can tell." You said as Joel pulled you from the truck, doing his best to avoid the broken glass, but you still ended up with pieces in your skin. Eventually when all was settled you'd have to coach Joel into popping it back into place to which you'd have to fight him to agree on.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry." Joel pulled you into his body, hugging you tightly. This nightmare never seemed to end.

"Sarah, are you okay?" You asked, putting your hands on her shoulders.

"It's my ankle."

"I'll take a look when we get somewhere safe, okay?" You asked and pulled Sarah in for a hug as a sheriff car slammed into the truck they had all just been in. You were just grateful to still be breathing at this point. Grateful that you all were still breathing.

"Head to the river! I'll find another way." Tommy yelled from the other side.

"You'll have to carry her." You told Joel and he scooped her up into his arms.

"You keep your eyes on me, alright? Don't look anywhere else." Joel said and then turned to her. "Baby?"

"Yeah?" You replied.

"We're making it out of this." He told you and you nodded. You wanted to believe him, but the odds of it all seemed so slim. ”Say it. We're making it out of this."

"We're making it out of this." You repeated, though you wasn't sure how much you actually had meant it.

They took off running down the alley, the heat of the flames coming from everywhere making their skin wet with sweat. You stayed close to Joel, following right behind him. They stopped when they came across multiple bodies down one alleyway being gnawed on by multiple infected people. This wasn't real. This couldn't be real. This was out of horror movies you watched as a kid, this shouldn't be reality. How was this reality?

Joel looked around and searched for another way when one of the infected realized they were there and shot up from the ground. Joel took off running and you could see it was toward the door of a building. You ran in front of him to open it so he could get through with Sarah and then followed behind him, the footsteps of the infected growing closer.

They ran through an empty diner, the sounds of what was following them hot on their tails. You could tell by Sarah's face that it was getting closer and closer but you refused to look back. That was the first rule in every horror movie. They ran through the kitchen and out the back door, ignoring the sounds of everything crashing behind them.

Sarah screamed and you had the instinct to brace for impact, to prepare yourself to fight this thing off of you but it never came. A gunshot rang through the air and they stopped dead in their tracks, turning to see the infected laying on the ground.

"It's okay, baby. We're safe." He said to Sarah.

You placed your arm Joel’s back, clutching his shirt in your hand when a light was shined in your faces.

"Don't move." The soldier said.

"Our daughter's hurt. Her ankle." Joel said moving towards him. You almost didn't have time to process that he said "our".

"Stop right there!" He yelled.

"Easy now. We're not sick." Joel pleaded. You stepped in front of him to which he wanted to object, but he said nothing. 

"I got two civilians by the river, one of em injured... Ankle."

Joel took another step towards him to which he pointed his gun at them. You held your hands up in surrender.

“She's a kid, sir, please." You said.

"Hey! No one told you to move." The soldier said.

"Yes sir." Joel replied.

He lowered his gun for a moment and relief washed over you. After this chaotic night, the military would take them somewhere safe until this all blew over. Sarah's ankle would be fine, her shoulder would be taken care of, and everything would be back to normal in a month or two.

Then the light hit their eyes again.

'We're not sick." Joel said shaking his head.

"Hey, put it down." You said, taking a step backwards. If it came down to it, you were taking that bullet to protect Sarah and Joel.

"Sir." Joel pleaded. "We are not sick!"

Joel dove for safety, Sarah rolled out of his arms and you tumbled down the hill right next to them. With the adrenaline, you couldn't even tell there were two bullets lodged in your arm, it took the feeling of blood trickling down your forearm for you to realize anything was wrong. There were sharp pains in your back and abdomen and you thought for a moment you'd been hit elsewhere, but there was no blood. It must've been the fall, you figured.

"Joel," You pushed yourself off the ground and looked to Joel who had a gun pointed in his face. You thought for sure that this was it. This was how they die. All three of you, this far surviving everything the universe threw at them, just to die at the hands of the people who were supposed to protect them.

"Please don't." Joel whispered. Before he could pull the trigger, Tommy was behind him and put a bullet through his skull. For once, you were thankful for murder and guns. Being from the PNW, you hated guns.

You turned your head and noticed Sarah on the ground. "No," you said quietly. You crawled to her, immediately feeling like you were going to throw up all over again at the sight of her. "I can fix this."

You had seen plenty of gunshot wounds in the ER, this was Texas for Christ's sake. You knew how to remove bullets, and stitch them clean enough to leave minimal scarring. You had never lost a patient to a gunshot wound.

"Sarah?" You looked down at her, doing your best to examine the wound in the low lighting. You couldn't help but feel like throwing up because after getting a good look you knew there was no way you could fix this. You looked up at Tommy who had been a combat veteran. He knew as well as you did that Sarah was not going to survive this.

Joel was next to his daughter in a matter of seconds as her breathing picked up uncontrollably. "Move your hand, baby. Move your hand. Help me, help me.” Joel looked to you with pleading eyes.

You almost felt like you couldn't move, but you shook away all of the negative thoughts from your head and took a deep breath. You were going to fix this. You were going to save Sarah no matter what it took. ”I can fix it. Tommy, give me your flannel, I can stop- I can stop the bleeding until we get somewhere-“

“Hey," Tommy said softly.

"Just fucking give it to me, Tommy!" You yelled. He obliged and pulled his flannel off and tossed it to you.

"Sarah, you're gonna be fine, okay. I'm gonna fix this. I can- I can fix it." You pressed the flannel into her wound to which she winced and let out a cry. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry."

"I know it hurts, I know. I know. I know. I'm sorry." Joel went on as Sarah grabbed at him, panic coursing through her eyes.

"I can-" You stopped when you finally saw the life fleeing Sarah's eyes. "Joel."

Joel held her body to his chest, rocking her back and forth until her final breath.

You stood up and walked away from them, bending over to throw up whatever was left in your stomach. Sarah was gone. The world was gone. How were they to go on after this? The people they thought they could trust put a bullet in her arm and ended Sarah's life.

A kid.

She was just a kid.

She had a life ahead of her.

And you couldn't save her.

It probably would eat at you for the rest of whatever life you'd live after this.

"You're hit. Here.” Tommy said to you. He handed had the flannel you had used to try and stop Sarah's bleeding. “There was nothing you could do. You and I both know-“

“Tommy, don.t” You said, your voice catching in your throat.

He tied it around your arm and you winced in pain, the adrenaline quickly wearing off. Of course it had to be the arm with the dislocated shoulder.

You turned at the sound of Joel approaching you.

"I'm sorry, Joel." You said to him, immediately breaking down into tears. You reached your hands out to him but he didn't take them.

"This is your fault." Joel yelled. Tommy stepped in front of Joel to stop him from getting closer to you. "You did this."

"No, I tried." You said. You were a blubbering mess trying to find the right words to say but there were none.

"You're a nurse, what's wrong with you? Why didn't you save her?" Joel tried pushing past Tommy and you took a step back.

"Joel, you don't mean this. There was nothing she could do." Tommy defended you.

"Go. Get away from us. I don't want to see you ever again." Joel yelled. You had no words to say, you were in utter shock at what he was saying.

"No, we're not sending her off alone." Tommy raised his voice at his brother.

"I'm not going anywhere with her. I want her out of my life." Joel looked at you like he had never loved anything in his life and you knew you had lost him. You already blamed yourself for Sarah's death, knowing there was nothing you could've done but Joel twisted the knife. He didn't mean it and you wanted to believe that. He was the love of your life, he could never talk to you like that.

"Tommy..." You said your voice barely above a whisper as Joel turned on his heel and picked Sarah up into his arm.

"He's my family. I'm sorry." Tommy kissed your head and turned on his heel to follow his brother leaving you standing in that field by yourself.

"Joel, please!" You begged. "Tommy! You can't just leave me here!"

You fell to your knees, your breathing picking up as you began to descend into a panic attack until you heard the cries of the infected. You had to pull yourself together despite the aching in your abdomen, the fact that you had a dislocated shoulder and had been shot twice.

You scrambled to the dead soldier that had shot you and picked his gun up off of his body. You looked around trying to come up with a plan quickly. You started to run, you didn't know where and you didn't even know how to use the gun in your hands. You ran for what felt like miles, the adrenaline pushing you to keep going. You thankfully only had to use the gun to shoot down three infected people you crossed paths with and the action made you ill. You were killing people. These were still people and you were just loading bullets into them.

You finally saw the lights of the military base and your jog turned into a sprint. If they were to shoot at you and kill you, you wouldn't care. This was the world now and it wasn't one you wanted to live in. Everyone around them was sick and the one person who depended on you most died in her father's arms. Joel and Tommy left you standing in that field. They abandoned you. You're reason for living, the people you called family deserted you and left you to die.

As you approached the gate you heard the clicking of several guns being pointed at you so you set the gun down on the ground and held your hands up.

"I'm not sick!" You yelled. "Please, please. I'm not sick."

Two men approached you with their guns and lifted you by the arms to which you cried out in pain. "My shoulder is dislocated and I was shot, please."

"Civilian. Medical personnel it seems." One of the men said into his walkie. "Injured. Gunshot wounds and dislocated shoulder she says. Blood on her pants."

You were pulled behind the gate and sat in a screening room where you'd be questioned.

"Occupation?" The woman asked.

"Trauma nurse at Austin Gen." You said. Tears were still spilling from your eyes, but you barely noticed anymore.

"Where's your family?"

"Seattle." You whispered.

"Were you with anyone else tonight?" She asked.

"Yes, but..." You shake your head looking away.

"But?"

"They left me."

"Where did you get your injuries from?"

"Shoulder dislocated in a car accident and a soldier shot me." You reply. You weren't even sure if you were displaying any sort of emotion.

"The injury on your leg? Were you bitten?"

You looked down at your legs and everything clicked into place almost in slow motion. You noticed the blood that stained your thighs through your scrubs, the reason you were you nauseous all morning and the reason you were experiencing what you thought were cramps. It made everything hurt a million times more when you pieced it together.

"No, I think..." You shake your head again unable to finish the sentence.

"You think what? You think you were bitten?"

"No, I'm.." you release a shaky breath, your voice cracking as you say, "I'm having a miscarriage. I didn't know I was-"

The woman's look softens and she nods closing her folder. "I understand it's been a rough night. We're going to get you medical attention and then we'll discuss where you'll be relocated in a few days."

You were saved because you were a nurse. You were slightly more valuable than the average civilian simply because you could provide a service to the country after it crashed and burned. Medical professionals would likely be hard to come by after outbreak day and lucky for them you stumbled right onto their doorstep.

You felt a range of emotions the first few days in the military camp. You were angry for the most part and then you were overwhelmed with sadness. You had lost Sarah, then you lost your own child and then lost Joel. And Joel didn't even know. At the end of the day when you were laying in your cot all you could do was pray to a God you'd never prayed to before and hoped that wherever he and Tommy went, they were safe.

You ended up being assigned as a trauma nurse for FEDRA where you moved to wherever they needed you to. It took you years to get used to your new routine and you hardly ever even felt anymore. You just did what you needed to survive.

Twenty years later, you found yourself in Wyoming after escaping the FEDRA facility in Denver. FEDRA had gone corrupt there and even though you had no room to care, you couldn't keep justifying what was happening behind the QZ walls so you went on the run.

In Wyoming you find Tommy who was the last person you'd ever thought you'd see and learn that he hadn't spoken to Joel in a while but from he knew Joel was alive. Tommy damn near fell to his knees when he saw you and pulled you into the tightest hug you had ever felt. You didn't know how to feel about being reunited with him and he understood why you were so stand offish. When you looked at him you were brought back to the night that they left you. It was traumatic to you and you thought about it as little as you could.

It takes a while but you warm up to Tommy again. Things could never be the way they used to but you find comfort in his company, thinking back to before outbreak day when you'd sit and talk waiting for Joel to come down for work.

It was unlikely you or Joel would ever recover from the trauma of Outbreak Day. You would never forgive yourself for failing to fix what was already unfixable and Joel would never forgive himself for leaving you, not knowing for twenty years if you had survived. He eventually came to terms that you had probably died the night he left you and that ate him alive for the next two decades. He believed you were dead and he believed that it was his fault for letting his anger get in the way of protecting you. He lost you and Sarah both that day and he had to live with that for twenty years until he stumbled into Wyoming with a young girl named Ellie.

The two of you would never be the same but it's hard to tell if anyone would be after the events of the outbreak. You and Joel could try to fix what was broken that night but not even the power of the moon and the stars couldn't heal the hurt from either of you

a/n: this was unedited, its late but im posting it anyways and ill go back and fix it tomorrow

masterlist

#joel miller #tlou #the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal

[dairy-farmer]

You remember that new story a while back? About the device that can deliver an orgasm at the push of a button?

I remember.

It's connected to the spine! Gotta hijack the right nerves etc. And the box implant is kinda bulky. Buuuuut~ CONSIDER! :3c

DC technology! Bat paranoia! Tim Robin getting captured one too many times! And driving Bruce to a damn near mental break down! Bruce is shaking, days old stubble, bags that a Racoon would envy under his eyes. The WORKS. Tim has worked too damn hard, pulling this trainwreck together, just to be the REASON he falls apart.

He consents to a tracker.

Bruce falls to his knees and... and hugs him. Is so GRATEFUL. Shaking like a leaf and clinging like he might disappear. Had been braced like he thought Tim would snarl and fight him.

Tim just hugs him back. Pretend not to notice the wet, seeping into his shoulder.

And it totally helps! Batman feels more in control. Knows where he is. Is calmer. It even saves his life a few times. But? Technology gets better and fights get harder. He gets thrown into a wall. Crunch!

Immediate emergency surgery to get the old tracker out. In pieces. Tim nearly gets poisoned too. But NOT having the tracker in? Bruce's anxiety shoots through the roof. He locks himself in his lab. Comes out looking unhinged. Better tracker. Limited bio feedback.

Sure. Okay. Whatever helps, Bruce.

But then? Alien bullshit. They go to deep space. Out of range. Bruce FREAKS. It starts becoming A Thing. Better range. Harder to break. Smaller. Smarter. More compatible. On and on and on. And? Bruce has started leaning on him more.

Tim GETS the Mission. The need to plan for plans within plans. The odd hours and late nights. He's seen Bruce at his WORST. Is his partner.

Is... starting to notice boys.

Develop NEEDS he didn't have before.

Things that Bruce can't control or follow him in. Or at least, is not SUPPOSED too. The anxiety is unbearable. Every punk a vessel for STDs and supervilliany. Plotting to stab Tim or get him pregnant and blackmail him. Alien face eating parasites. League plants. Alternate reality future assassins!

He can't bear it.

But he can't ignore that it perfectly VALID for Tim to have NEEDS.

But... but Tim is HIS. He NEEDS Tim. These distractions are unacceptable and frankly? A problem to be fixed. And really, he KNOWS why Tim is (in his own awkward, charming way) searching out these boys. The potential to "fool around". Feel good. Orgasm.

There was a device patented recently by Wayne Medical. He can vastly improve it with alien tech. Make it unhackable.

Tim doesn't need those boys. Tim has him. The mission. And besides, this is BETTER. Cleaner. Tim likes clean! And THIS way, he can have... can HELP, Tim without crossing that line. It's not like he's TOUCHING anything, like this. So it's better.

This time he put both devices in, instead of just the tracker. It takes a bit longer to heal, since one connects to several nerves. But that just means No Dates and more time with Bruce. Which is nice. Waits for Tim to heal up.

He fingers the innocuous little black clicker. Makes sure to watch on the security feed. Don't want to catch him somewhere precarious, he justifies. And as Tim enters his room, closes the door, he let's his thumb rest on the button. Click.

Watches as Tim jolts, cries out at the new sensation, his legs shaking and then giving out beneath him. Leaving him to ride out the aftershocks on the floor, utterly confused. Bruce drinks in every sound and expression. Clicks again, just to be sure.

Again Tim buckles, a plaintive whine wretched out of him. Brain unable to tell him WHERE on his body the pleasure is coming from, only that it is happening. Legs pressing together, trying to rock and tease, ANY stimulus so things might make sense.

Adorable.

He really does want to tease him. Make him feel so good, he's left brainless and drooling. Bruce decides he was right. This IS cleaner. Better. No disgusting, handsy boys panting and grunting, as they rutt against Tim like animals desperate for their own release. Not a care in the world for Tim's pleasure or duties. Just Bruce.

And he can take care of his Robin. Watch over him. He presses the button again, just to watch his boy spasm in pleasure. It's not WRONG if he doesn't TOUCH Tim. He's just helping. Providing!

And that's what he'll tell himself. Every time Robin gets a reward for doing a good job. Click. Or gets a good grade in class. Click. Or comes to spend time with Bruce instead of those icky, icky DATES. Click.

It's not conditioning! It's REWARDS.

Tim LOVES spending time with him! (Click.) And, of course, he realizes that needs evolve. Not everything can be solved by his clicker. So that's what toys are for. Harnesses and fucking machines. Intimidating at first (Click.) but Tim is very brave and has many needs. They help.

And if Bruce supervises? To make sure he doesn't get hurt? It's purely out of concern! They discuss cases. The days events. Why Tim does NOT need to EVER date and is happy he has such a good Dad. A good partner.

He LOVES his partner, doesn't he, Tim? (Click.)

And if Bruce doesn't need to know, that Tim could have removed both devices AGES ago? That's his business. Tim is out here living his best Wet Dream Life. Mind your business.

-🐼🐼🐼

bruce is the pinnacle of a paranoid obsessive 👀👀👀 and evolving his obsession with knowing where tim is to getting him off fits.

#answered asks #asks #anonymous #brutim

[chrisevansonly]

Surprise!

Dad!Chris Evans x Wife!Reader (Little Duck AU🐥💛)

Summary: The story of finding out you were pregnant with Arlie Mae and the excitement Chris had knowing his biggest dream was coming true; he was going to be a father

Warnings: pregnancy and baby talks (if that’s a warning lol) very fluffy, Chris cries, cause let’s be honest he will cry, just overall sweet

A/N: I wanted to start from the beginning where Momma and Chris found out they were expecting, it’s just a very cute little pregnancy reveal, I get all sappy imagining what his reaction would be to finding out he was going to be a dad, so here it is, I’m sorry if it’s a little short, I’m still not feeling the best<3

Word Count: 656

Seeing the two bold lines staring back at you on the pregnancy test that sat on the counter stopped your heart for a few seconds before tears filled your eyes. This was something you and Chris had been dreaming for since you got married two years ago, and you couldn’t believe it was finally becoming a reality. 

When you pulled it together a few minutes later you started to think about how you were going to tell Chris. You didn’t want to be super sappy, but you ended up taking inspiration from something you’d seen on Instagram. Of course, you wanted to include dodger in the announcement, so you set off to gather everything you needed to make this announcement. You went to Target and then a local craft store to get the rest of your supplies before hiding in your shared bedroom to get to work. 

You picked up a few onesies that were newborn size, and got a chalkboard that you wrote on, the message saying “every dog, needs a baby…’ written across it, it was cute and straight to the point. You’d add the positive test to the rest of your supplies when Chris got home. 

-

It was around 3:30 in the afternoon when you heard Chris’s Audi lock outside, the door opening and closing as well as the happy barks coming from Dodger as his favourite person walked through the door. It was quiet for a few short minutes before you heard Chris call for you

“Honey?’

“Upstairs baby!”

You were sitting behind your little baby set up, nerves suddenly pulling at your chest as his footsteps got closer and closer. You knew he’d be excited but there was still the tiniest part of you that remained nervous.

“There you are, how was-”

He froze eyes looking down to read the sign and you watched his eyes fill with tears, yours following suit 

“Shut the fuck up…”

You let out a tearful laugh 

“Are you joking…? Please tell me you’re not joking baby please…” 

“I’m not joking honey…it’s very real”

You wiped your cheeks with the backs of your hands before Chris made it to you, pulling you into his chest, his head falling to the crook of your neck, your t-shirt dampening as he cried, happy tears of course. Your hands rubbing up and down his back soothingly, soon enough he pulled away to hold your face in his hands and press his lips to yours firmly. Pouring all of his love and excitement into the kiss, you couldn’t help the smile that broke out 

“We’re having a baby?”

“We’re having a baby my love...”

His hands moved to rest on your stomach as he shook his head in disbelief before laughing

“I can’t fucking believe it, oh my god…I’ve gotta tell my mom!” 

Your laughter filled the room before gently taking Chris’s face in your hands, smiling at him 

“I love you, and I love your excitement, but can we wait until after the first ultrasound? I want to make sure everything is healthy…”

Chris nodded quickly his brows furrowing in concentration

“You’re right, yeah no we can do that, I’m getting ahead of myself, I love you too baby”

“I don’t mind honey, you’re just excited! As soon as we know everything is healthy, you can go crazy and tell whoever you want, deal?”

“Deal.” 

The rest of the night was filled with lots of hugs, kisses, and excitement for the future of your family that was now growing to bring life to what you’d eventually find out would be your daughter Arlie. Chris was so excited he’d already started to look at nursery inspiration, the best midwifes in the Boston area, and of course ordering all the parenting books he could think of. He was more than ready to become a father, and there’s no one else in the world you’d want to be a parent with. 

#chris evans x arlie mae #chris evans x little duck💛🐥 #chris evans x momma evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans x wife!reader #chris evans x fluff #chris evans x female reader #rueswrites #chris evans x pregnant!reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans fic #chris evans fluff

[loveronlineee]

Being a Freak 101 Part 2 (Eddie Munson x Reader)

Masterlist   All Parts

Eddie Munson x Cheerleader! Reader (She/Her)

Warnings: swearing

Synopsis: Y/N gets her first class on metalheads as Eddie introduces her to his music and style

Y/N notes: thinner/smaller than Eddie, hair long enough to be put in a ponytail

Y’all remember part 1 of this??? Cuz I totally forgot about it. Hehe oh well part 2 is finally hereeeeeee

Also I changed the title, it used to be Pranks on the Preps

Sorry if you were waiting for more Three. chapters! I didn’t want to force myself to finish the next part and not take the time to plan out where the story is going. Gonna work on it more tomorrow:)

Hope you enjoy this for tonight!

Wanna be on the Eddie Munson tag list? Look here!

Wanna request something? Look here!

Eddie waited outside the school, leaning up against the wall, a cigarette in his mouth.

Suddenly the doors burst open and the cheerleaders spilled out, walking to their cars. Y/N came out with the same two girls she sat with at lunch. As soon as they saw Eddie, they started giggling to each other.

“Eddie! You waited.” Y/N said with a smile. The metalhead could tell this was her fake peppy act for this prank. Still, she was adorable.

“Of course. You asked me to.” He played along, showing the other girls that he was already wrapped around Y/N’s finger. In reality, he really was but he’d keep that a secret from Y/N for at least a little longer.

“I’ll see you guys on Monday!” Y/N waved as the rest of the cheerleaders drove out, leaving her and Eddie in the dark empty parking lot.

They began waking towards Eddie’s van. “How was Hellfire club?”

“Do you really care?” Eddie asked with a chuckle. Y/N smiled back.

“No, but tell me anyways.”

“Good. How was cheer practice?”

“Do you really care?” Yes.

“No, but tell me anyways.”

“Good.” The two got into the van and Eddie started it up.

“So what’s the plan L/N?”

“You gotta teach me about being a metalhead. Style, attitude, music. Everything.”

“So you want me to be your metalhead teacher huh?”

“Sure do Munson.”

“Yeah I think I can manage that.” Eddie grinned.

“So we going to your place?” Y/N asked. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. Eddie didn’t know much about Y/N’s living arrangements but he knew his trailer wasn’t going to be up to standards.

He found himself unable to speak. It didn’t help that Y/N decided to let her hair down out of her ponytail at that exact moment. She shook her head and ran her fingers quickly through it before turning back to Eddie with a smile.

“Y-Yeah. Yeah sure.” He started driving, nerves building along the way.

How bad did I leave the trailer today? What’s on the couch? Did I leave food out??

A flood of questions filled his head, trying to find any way to prepare for Y/N walking through his front door.

He turned into Forest Hills Trailer Park and began to sink in his seat. He looked over at Y/N expecting her to have her nose turned up at the sight of where he lived.

But instead she was swaying a little in her seat, looking out the window quizzically. As Eddie parked the van, he tried to memorise the state of the inside of the trailer.

“Uh you’ll have to excuse the mess. The maid won’t be round til tomorrow.” He joked to ease the tension. Y/N chuckled as they reached the front door. The pair went inside.

Eddie could feel his anxiety building more and more. He watched as Y/N closed the door behind herself and began to look around. He waited for a disgusted look at the mess, a crinkle of her nose at the smell, a negative comment disguised as a compliment.

But no. Nothing. Y/N just smiled at him.

“You probably don’t know this about me, well most people don’t…” Y/N began. “But I used to live in a trailer park.” Eddie blinked.

“You did?” She nodded.

“Yeah, when I was little. My parents didn’t have enough for a kid but suddenly I was there and they just had to do their best.” Y/N shrugged. “My Dad got lucky, a few things went our way and now we live on Maple street with all the rich kids.”

“I had no idea.”

“Yeah so, I wanted you to know so you know I’m not judging you. To be honest, your place feels weirdly nostalgic. Kinda comforting.” Y/N smiled again. Eddie smiled back, feeling calmer.

“Eddie.” The pair turned to see his Uncle.

“Wayne! I thought you’d be at the bar.” Eddie said, which sounded a lot more suspicious when there was a pretty girl standing in their living room. “U-Uh this is Y/N she’s uh-“

“A friend from school.” Y/N saved. “It’s nice to meet you Mr Munson.” Wayne gave her a nod of approval and walked out the trailer.

“I’m going to the bar. You two have fun, but not too much fun.”

The pair made their way to Eddie’s bedroom. Eddie scrambled to grab anything lying around and shoved it in his closet. Y/N took a seat at the end of his bed as he went over to his collection of cassette tapes.

“Okaaaaay L/N. Metalhead lesson number one. Our superior taste in music.”

“Superior?” Y/N repeated comically, cocking her head to the side. A song began to play as Eddie turned to her.

“Yeah I know what I said.” Y/N giggled as she began bobbing her head to the beat. Eddie played an air guitar before dropping down next to her. “Now this my dear, is Black Sabbath.”

He walked over to his closet and opened it, having immediately forgotten that he had shoved a bunch of crap in there moments ago. It fell to the floor which Eddie ignored in favour of going through his clothes. “Okay whilst we’re filling your preppy brain with Paranoid, let’s think about your outfits…”

Y/N watched as Eddie sifted through his belongings, picking out some things. “Now the lady metalheads dress a little differently to the guys usually, but this can be a start.” He turned around and held out a pair of blue ripped jeans and a black AC/DC shirt.

Y/N took them and went over to the bathroom. Eddie looked through his music, picking the next song as he waited.

“Eddie!” Y/N called out.

“Yeah?” Eddie looked up to see Y/N in his jeans, holding the waist on one side so they wouldn’t fall down.

“You got a belt?” She chuckled. Eddie tore his eyes away from the top of Y/N’s underwear and scrambled to get her his black belt.

“Y-Yeah yeah here.”

“Thanks. Won’t be too long!” She disappeared back into the bathroom. Eddie breathed out. He could feel the heat creeping up on his cheeks. It hadn’t occurred to him that seeing Y/N in his clothes might be a little too hot for him to handle. “Holy shit!” Eddie rushed to the bathroom door.

“What? What is it? You okay?”

“Your belt buckle is hand cuffs!!!” Y/N said excitedly. “That’s so fucking cool!” Eddie grinned so wide at that. Y/N emerged from the bathroom and gave Eddie a twirl.

The jeans and the shirt were way too big for her but weirdly, she pulled it off really well. Yeah, Eddie was right. This was way too hot.

“Lookin good L/N.” He grinned. The two went back to Eddie’s room so she could use the full length mirror.

“Oh my god. I look so different.” Y/N giggled to herself as Eddie stood next to her. “Well we definitely look like we’re going to the same concert.” She said, making Eddie chuckle. “So you said that girl metalheads dress a little differently?”

“Yeah you’ll probably want to get a women’s leather jacket, some type of black boots, my rings won’t fit you so you’ll want some of them…”

“Well then, sounds like we’re going to the mall tomorrow Munson.”

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#eddie munson #reader x Eddie Munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson smut #st eddie munson #stranger things season four #stranger things #stranger things season 4 #reader x stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine

[i-fondued]

Kinktober 2022 | Ghost - Parchment and Promises

When his favorite Sister of Sin get reassigned to library duty, Papa Emeritus III obviously has to take advantage of the secluded space.

Pairing: Papa Emeritus III/Terzo x Reader/Sister of Sin

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: oral sex, library smut, public sexual acts, google translate italian, dom/fem-dom if you squint?

A/N: I told y’all I would end up writing Terzo too, gotta have an excuse to use more smutty, sexy, shitty google translate Italian. This might end up with a surprise part two because our lovers don’t actually fuck but hey, who knows. Also if anyone actually cares, no this isn’t the same sister of sin that is in my other stories with copia… though now I cant not write that one ahahahaha

enjoy!!

AO3 link HERE

The abbey bells tolled softly in the distance, echoing through the lofty space.

The sun was just beginning to set, golden hour rays streaming lazily through the ornate stained glass windows; which in turn casted beautiful shapes of all colors. 

I was in the back corners of the library, putting away the massive books and tiny scrolls that the other senior sisters had pulled out during their hours of translations. Normally I was assigned to work in the kitchens, cooking for the many siblings of sin that called the abbey home. However, one of the senior sisters had taken ill and I had been told to switch for the day, pushing around a dusty cart full of books rather than being elbow deep in bread flour. 

I hummed as I worked, slipping between the massive bookshelves and sliding everything back to its proper home. I paused when I felt a set of eyes on me, head whipping around to look for the source of the feeling and finding nobody. Feeling a presence but not seeing one wasn’t cause for alarm here, if anything it was a painfully shy ghoul lurking just out of view. I went back to my work again, focusing on the cart and the books on it, and ignoring the feeling of someone watching as best as possible. Someone’s arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me back against them, their other hand coming up to cover my mouth as I started to scream. 

I began to flail wildly, hands coming up to pull at the wrist of my attacker, before I heard the deep rumble of a chuckle in my ear. 

“Bella mia, Sorella, I startle you?” The hand covering my mouth was pulled away and I looked back at my attacker, a scowl on my face. 

“Satan below, Terzo. Yes, of course you scared me!” I snapped, trying to turn to look at him but his hands gripped my hips and I felt him rest his chin on my shoulder, kissing my cheek quickly. 

“Mi displace, I’m sorry,” He purred, his fingers brushing against my hips softly in slow strokes. I leaned against him, a blush forming on my cheeks. “I saw you pass by me and I assume you notice me.”

“Hm.” I mumbled, a small shiver running down my spine as he pushed my habit to the side and pressed soft kisses to the sensitive skin of my neck. 

“It is nice to see you out of the kitchen, si? It is like a dungeon down there.” His deep voice rumbled against his lips as he skillfully ran his tongue against the shell of my ear. “You are too delicate to be working hard in there Bella…”

His right hand curved around my body, brushing his fingertips softly against my waist before coming to gently paw at my breasts. His other hand gripped my hip obsessively as he gently rocked against me, I could feel his cock getting hard with each gentle brush against my ass. My body felt like it was heating up, like I was working in front of the ovens making dinner, a small weak smile on my lips.

“I-I like my job, Papa…” I chuckled softly before biting on my bottom lip as his fingers rolled my nipple between his thumb and forefinger, tugging gently at the little bundle of nerves. 

“Si, si. But I have a better job for you, mia cara…”

“Oh?”

“Si.” He chucked, tugging me against him and turning so I was facing the bookshelves. “La mia proprieta…”

My hands came up to steady myself against the shelves as Terzo yanked my hips back against him; he ground against my ass and I had to hold back a moan, a small whimper slipping from my lips. His hands wandered from my hips, caressing at my sides before he curled around me. He pressed more kisses to my neck, his tongue swirling around my skin in a way that he seemed to only know how. I fought to stifle a moan, my fist pressing against my lips, and I could feel Papa chucking as he turned me in his arms.

“What you say, cara mia? Hm?” Terzo smiled at me, a rare boyish one and I felt my cheeks turn bright red as his mismatched eyes crinkled as he chuckled at my face. His hand came up to cup my cheek, his fingers caressing my jawline as I looked up at him with hooded eyes. 

I didn’t answer him, I pushed forward and kissed him firmly. His arms curled around my waist, pushing me back against the bookshelf with a mumbled Italian I didn’t quite catch. My own arms wrapped firmly around his neck, fingers running into his hair and scratching softly at the base of his neck. I could feel the shudder run through his body and smirked into the kiss. He may have known exactly how to turn me on, but two could play at that game and I was very good at this one. 

I pushed against his chest softly and Terzo pulled away with a confused look on his face, I smirked at him as I pushed him back against the bookshelf on the other side of the alcove we were in. He let out a little oof when his back hit the shelves and I locked eyes with him, his pupils blown wide with lust. I slowly fell to my knees while never breaking our eye contact. Terzo’s breath was coming hard and fast as my hand slid up his muscular thighs; fingers gently caressing as one hand started to undo his belt while the other teasingly traced his cock as it strained against the confines of his trousers.

“S-sorella…m-mio dio…” Terzo groaned quietly, his hand coming to settle on my head. He started to pull off the habit but I swatted his hand away. 

“Leave it on.”

Another string of incoherent italian as my hand slipped into his trousers, freeing his cock from the straining fabric. Terzo’s hand gripped the shelf by his hips, white knuckled, as he watched with his mismatched gaze as my hand ran up and down his shaft teasingly. I leaned forward and placed soft kisses on his length, barely ghosting my lips over the skin. He bucked his hips forward weakly, knowing I would walk away if he got too carried away too quickly. He was whimpering when I finally, mercifully, let my tongue slip out and ran it against the head of his cock tasting the precum that had beaded there. 

“Sa-santi sotto, cara mia…” Terzo moaned, his hips bucking against my lips as I pumped my fist up and down him again. “Take pity, no?”

I locked eyes with him, a small smile as I took in the site in front of me. Papa Emeritus III. His hair messy, cheeks flushed so deep I could see it under his paints, his whole body was wound tight as he looked at me with a withering lusty gaze. I felt powerful, a warm feeling sliding down my spine and settling in my belly. 

“I’m not sure you’ve earned it, Papa…” I purred, feeling bold as I began to take him into my mouth. My tongue swirled around the head as I took him as deep as I could, hollowing out my cheeks as I pulled back. 

Terzo’s right hand shot out towards my head before he thought better of it and gripped the bookshelf again. His head rolled back, thumping softly against the old books on the shelves, as little words of encouragement and broken Italian slipped from his lips. I couldn’t help but smirk as I continued to bob my head up and down his cock, tongue massaging at the underside of his length. Surprising both Terzo and myself I managed to swallow him down to the base, my nose brushing at the soft curls as I held him deeply before pulling back again. I teased him again with my tongue and felt his hips begin to match my pace and I knew he was getting close.

“Fanculo questo.” Terzo cursed, hands grabbing my head and a thrill shot down my spine knowing he was about to lose control. 

Holding my head steady Terzo began fucking my mouth for all he was worth; I was gagging, spittle slipping down my lips and dripping obscenely into my lap but my hands stayed curled around his thighs. I heard him grunting above me, italian words mixed in and I felt the heat pooling in my belly as I squirmed under him. Unable to help myself I let my hand reach up and cup his balls, massaging them softly.

“Ingoialo, Sorella…” He grunted, before quickly thrusting a few more times before I felt his cock twitch in my mouth. I felt the hot spurt out and down my throat, greedily swallowing everything. After a few shallow thrusts he pulled away, cock slipping from my mouth as he brushed his fingers against my scalp. 

“Perfezione, Bella.” Terzo stood there, eyes barely open as he caught his breath while leaning heavily on the bookshelf. My face was flushed, breath coming in and out steadily, as I squirmed on the floor beneath him. “Brava ragazza, si, good girl…”

Terzo smiled warmly at me, eyes full of adoration as he cupped my cheek again. His thumb brushed the remnants of spittle and his seed from the corner of my lips. He tucked himself back in his trousers before helping me to stand up. My legs quaked, numb from kneeling on the floor so long, and ever the gentleman Terzo helped steady me against the bookshelves. His hands warm on my hip as he kissed my neck again, teeth nipping at my shoulder as he pulled at my robes. My hips bucked forward as his hand pulled at the hem of my robes, fingers brushing softly against my bare thigh as he curled his fingers against the tops of my stockings. 

“I return the favor, no?” He purred, his lips brushing against mine before pulling away. A whimper slipped from my lips, eyes locking on his as I nodded quickly at him. 

“Please, Papa.”

Terzo smiled at me, my heart fluttering in its cage as a warm feeling spread over my entire body. “Qualsiasi cosa per la mia ragazza. Anything for you, Bella.”

I watched, my breath coming in staccato bursts, as Terzo sunk to his knees. Mirroring myself only moments ago, his fingers pushed my skirts up, exposing my underwear. Ever the tease, I felt his fingers brush against where I had soaked through the fabric. He practically purred at me as he ran his fingers against me, feeling the practically dripping fabric. “All for me, mia?”

“Yes, Papa…” I moaned quietly, fingers tangling in his hair as Terzo leaned forward to pull my underwear down with his teeth. I rolled my hips against his face and my clit brushed against his nose. 

“Sorella, you are dripping…” He sighed, pulling one leg over his shoulder. “All for your Papa?”

“Always, Papa.”

I was off balance slightly, leaning my weight backwards against the shelves while balancing on one leg as best as I could. I moved the cart closer to us, giving myself more space to lean if needed. I opened my legs as Terzo settled into position, one arm curled around the thigh on his shoulder and pinning me in place. He buried his face between my legs, fingers spreading me open as he ran his tongue up my opening and barely brushing against my clit. 

I bit my lip hard, holding back a moan I knew anyone in the library would hear from anywhere, and bucked my hips against his lips. My heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest, blood ringing in my ears, and my breath coming in short bursts as Terzo devoured me. His fingers pressed inside of me, my walls instantly clamping down on him as he provided the friction I so sorely needed. 

“Terzo…” I moaned his name, head thrown back against the books as I closed my eyes to the feeling of his tongue flicking against my clit. 

“Sorella…sei mio.” He groaned into my cunt, faintly I could feel him rolling his hips against his free hand and I knew he was hard again. “Only mine…”

“Only yours,” I parroted him, my knees buckling slightly. I felt Terzo pivot us and slide me to sit on the cart, before he pulled my other thigh up onto his shoulder. I moaned, legs squeezing his head slightly as I felt a shudder roll down my spine. “Only ever yours, Papa…”

His rumbly moan at my response sent shockwaves right to the pool of heat in my belly and I ground against his face, fingers tugging on his hair sharply. My nails dug into his scalp as my orgasam clawed its way to the edge of the clif I was desperate to fling myself over. Terzo’s tongue swirling my clit had my legs quaking on his shoulders, he knew I was close and I felt his fingers turn in their gentle thrusting and curl towards the spongy spot inside me that made my toes curl. 

“Oh. Oh fuck Terzo…” I groaned, thighs squeezing his head as he continued to slurp at my clit as my orgasam washed over me. It was so strong I thought I was going to black out, vision swirling slightly. But I couldn’t help but lock with Papa’s gaze, his miss matched eyes filled with mirth between my thighs as I moaned his name, begging him to never stop.

Aftershocks slowly spilled down my spine as I rode out my pleasure against Terzo’s face, before my fingers loosened the grip on his hair. He pulled back slightly, pressing his cheek into my limp hand like a kitten would to an open palm. He wiped his face with my underwear and my face flushed scarlet as he took a deep breath. 

“I keep these, si? As a reward for Papa’s hard work.” He chucked, tucking the fabric in his back pocket before standing slowly. 

“Whatever you’d like, Papa.” I mumbled, dazed and with a content look on my face. His hand came up to cup my face, I nuzzled into him before he leaned down to press soft kisses to my face and lips. Terzo stepped between my legs, I could feel his cock stirring in his trousers and I couldn’t help the giggle that slipped from my lips. Terzo went to say something before he ducked down again, before I could say anything or even look at him I heard footsteps. 

“Sister, are you over here?”

One of the senior sisters who worked in the library stepped around the corner behind me, I whipped my head around while scooting so my robes would cover my legs. 

“Ah there you are! Are you almost done sister, dinner is starting soon and I wanted to let you know.” She smiled warmly at me, before slipping the book she had in her hands in its proper place. 

“Y-yes, thank you Sister. I’ll be right there, I only have a small book to put away.”

“Oh I can take it-“

“NO! No, it's okay!” I laughed, eyes wild as she started to step towards me. I could feel Terzo’s hands wandering up my legs again and I kicked at him, earring a soft grunt from the man in front of me. “I-I wanted to finish the task myself, nothing better than a good days work…”

“All the younger sisters should strive to be like you Sister,” She smiled again at me. “Our work is important to the dark lord, not just flirting with the Papas.”

“Yes, Sister. I agree.” My eyes drifted to the floor, Terzo had a big stupid grin on his face and I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes at him. 

“Well, don’t delay too much Sister. You wouldn’t want to miss out on Papa’s blessings for dinner.” She waved at me before beginning to walk away from me. 

“Something tells me I won’t miss Papa, Sister.” I was holding back my laughter as I listened to the sound of her footsteps fading. 

Terzo smirked at me, standing once again, before leaning down to kiss my lips gently while his hand slipped beneath my habit to tangle in my hair.

“Will I see you after dinner, Sorella?” He murmured against my lips, his hips grinding against mine as I shuttered again. 

“Always, Papa.”

“Promettere, bella mia?”

“I promise, Terzo.”

#my writing #ghost #the band ghost #Ghost fanfiction #papa emeritus x reader #papa emeritus lll #terzo x reader #papa emeritus iii x reader #papa terzo #Terzo fanfiction #Fanfiction #ao3 crosspost #Terzo feels like one big puppy when he is pussy whipped for youuuu #Like my mans would RISK IT ALL if it meant the chance to eat you out one last time #We will be back to our shy rat boy tomorrow I think #Unless people really love these two too and then i guess I’ll have to write them actually fucking at some point

[saltysskin]

Radio Silence Signal

könig finds out f!reader is bi (fluff//flirting)

It was almost 11:30 at night when I heard a soft knock at my door, “Hey D, why is the Colonel outside, asking for you?” my roommate asked, popping her head into my room. “Shit,” I hurried to throw on some kind of clothing, he came unannounced. I carefully made my way through the dorm I was currently sharing with 2 other medics. Opening the heavy door, I see him, waiting. He’s still in his work attire, mask and all. He turned around to face me, putting his arms down by his side, “Colonel,” I stated before noticing him staring at my outfit. I had a big tshirt on, with old army fatigue pants that were cut off at my thigh, I had two different color socks on as well as my work boots. “You look, like a—what is the word?” König’s German accent was almost as thick as my southern one. “Do I even wanna know the word yer lookin’ for?” I complained, “I got dressed in the dark, okay?” I continued. “What do ya want anyway?” I crossed my arms, hiding my chest from the cold air. “A redneck!” König exclaimed, finally remembering the word he was stuck on. “I’ve been called worse,” I leaned against the doorway, unamused and tired from the day. “That’s a word Americans say, no?” He laughed to himself, ignoring everything I just said. He’d been on an American base for a few months now, lapping up the culture. “Yeah we gotta word for Austrians too but, you won’t like it,” I joked, while pushing my hair behind my shoulder away from my face. He scoffed at my remark, which made him squint his eyes at me, finally focusing on the task at hand. “I have a few questions,” König confessed, getting closer to me. I looked up at him with tired eyes, a building of a man. He looked into my dorm, then down the hall, “Shall we?” He insisted, I obliged. We walked down a long corridor, then out a door that lead to outside. He sat down on a bench that neared the door we just came through. I stood in front of him, keeping my arms crossed. Since he was sitting, he was finally at my eye level, making this hard to get through. He never breaks eye contact, and it works my nerves like a live wire. He was very animalistic but yearned for connection, he was like a rouge animal cast out from his pride. I’ve heard what they say around campus, what they call Colonel König. The stories they make up about him, just to keep him isolated. “I have to ask,” He began, I wasn’t worried before, but I am now. Being alone with him made me feel exposed, he could make me disappear and that’d be the end of me. “Have you had any men in your dorm?” His voice was stern, he was still in work mode, but my brain was shutting off. I furrowed my brows at the question, waiting a moment before answering. “No, sir,” I answered honestly, that was only a problem if it were after hours, anyways. “Any women?” He asked, his question hung in the air, like he already knew. I straightened my posture while he stared at me, “We’ll, my roommates—,” I tried explaining, before he interrupts. He scoffed then waved his hand at my comment, “Why?” I asked in a defensive tone. Offended by his harshness, “Because I heard otherwise,” König had leaned back where he sat with his arm resting on the back rest of the bench. “You read my file?” I accused him, only for him to shrug in response. I had a fling with a good friend of mine, we were caught, and I was written up for it. So there it sits, within stacks of papers and he managed to find it. My face was bright red, burning me alive, I was embarrassed recoiling into my clothes trying to hide. “What’s your point, König?” I snapped at him, retaliating for the embarrassment. His eyes widened from hearing me say his name, I could see him deciding to ignore it, for now. “Do you only like women?” He asked, looking away from me for a moment, “What?” I hissed, annoyed by him prying, “Do you only desire women?” He repeated his question, making my body tense up. “I-well-,” I stuttered unable to find my footing, I didn’t say anything for a moment, I decided that since someone was asking, that I’d answer. “I’ve desired men before,” I replied, my hands tugging at each other.

This was a topic I’ve spoken to no one about, now suddenly here I am; saying it out loud. I do favor privacy, less chance of the judgement that inherently comes with humans. He shifted where he sat, not able to look at me anymore, “Don’t tell me, ya drug me outta bed to have a conversation about my sex life,” I scoffed at him. He looked back over at me, “You haven’t pursued any other men on base—,” He tried to explain, before I interrupted, “Their not really my type,” I answered, before turning my view away from him. As if I haven’t heard that before, I’d been on countless dates and not one of them stuck. “Type?” He breathed out, before rubbing the back of his head with his hand. He studied me for a moment, making us both sit in silence. He stood up from the bench and approached me, I backed up naturally, after his shadow swallowed where I stood, I looked up at him with wide eyes. He towered over me, blocking out the only light that came from a nearby streetlamp. “I’m different from them,” He purred down at me, turning into a flirt before my eyes. How long has he been alone? Can’t be longer than I have. “I know you are,” I said up at him softly, before he picked up my hand with one of his. I held my breath from the shock of human touch, König’s fingers played with mine for a moment, I was smitten with how gentle he was. My hands only covering most of his palm, my fingers stopping where his began. He took off one of his black cloth gloves, then grabbed at my hand again, allowing his skin to touch mine. I shivered from it, getting goosebumps at how warm blooded he was, radiating heat like a furnace. He corrected his posture while keeping his eyes on our entangled hands, “It’s film night in the mess hall tomorrow,” His voice was low, like he shifted into another gear. “Will you join me?” He purposed as he continued to play with my fingers. I looked up at him with a small smile, with his eyes meeting mine I looked away again, trying to keep my cool. I nodded my head, “Okay,” I accepted, “I’d like that,” I gushed to myself silently. As he walked me back to my room he stayed close by my side, instead of behind me. “Thank you for your time,” He cooed at me, making me smile in response, “I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” I said nervously while leaning against my door. “I’ll save you a chair,” He insisted, playfully, before looking down at me again. “Goodnight Colonel,” I cooed, giggling from his English phrasing. Hearing a faint, “Gute Nacht,” slip out from behind his mask along with a few other German words I didn’t understand. I laid in my bed that night wracking my brain at what had just happened, going over every detail in my mind. I failed at picking up on his energy towards me. Aside from catching him staring at me, multiple times. We’d only shared about a dozen words between each other. This all felt out of the blue, but maybe I haven’t been paying enough attention. I was so use to being unavailable I didn’t realize; until now. I’d been alone, on my own for way too long to remember what it’s like being with someone. Sharing my time, my love with them, was something I’d prayed for in the past. I hear what the others say, and with each sickening comment on a woman’s body I recoiled more and more out of their view of sight. I made myself undateable, so they couldn’t hurt me the way they told their friends they would. I seemed callous and checked out because I was, because I was made to be, unapologetically.

#fanfic #könig call of duty #könig x reader #könig cod #könig #könig modern warfare #könig mw2 #könig x you

[flintox]

Eviction Duty. [Story + Illustration.]

"Latte, with extra cream, extra hazelnut syrup and a pinch of cinnamon." Gaius placed the warm cup on the desk carefully, along with a small brown paper bag, stained with spots of grease. "And a cheesy pastry." The towering mouse said, not daring to try to pronounce the name of the weird cheese egg bread thing he'd just delivered.

"Mhm-" Without a word the older mouse reached across the desk, grabbed the cup and took a sip without looking up from her tablet.

Gaius stood there silently, hands behind his back and a professional smile on his face. The day was almost over and he was hoping that he might be let off early or get some easy job that didn't take too much time. Usually, Miss Haytham-Trench didn't have too much for him to do so late in the day, only simple stuff like helping clean up. Miss Haytham-Trench had a bad habit of dropping pens and often had him pick them up for her. Or giving her a shoulder massage, evidently she had really bad shoulders and far too little time to go to a spa so she would have Gaius massage them for her...and her feet, and occasionally her back.

Miss Haytham-Trench glanced up from her tablet, locking eyes onto Gaius. "I'm gonna be leaving early today."

He lit up. If she was leaving early that meant he was leaving early. "Oh?"

"It's the anniversary of my marriage to my husband." She said flatly as she packed up the tablet and reached across the desk to grab her handbag.

"Nice! Congratulations!" Gaius smiled.

She smiled back as  she slowly leaned forward across the desk, resting her chin on her palm and kicking up her legs, staring back at Gaius through a half lidded stare. "Are you...busy tonight, Mr. Prince?" The black suit dressed mouse leaned back, sighing softly as she ran a hand down her torso, smoothing out the creases the clothing made around her considerable curves. "I might have some...overtime assignments I need help with."

"Well uh-" He tensed up. Gaius felt his hands get clammy. "I already made plans with some friends, actually. Going to see a movie-" The mouse quickly answered, eager to escape any overtime work.

Her stare intensified, showing a hint of annoyance. "I don't think you understand." the older mouse mused as she slowly undid a top button on her shirt. "I need someone large and strong to help me~"

He swallowed back his nerves, tugging on the collar of his tight white shirt. This happened quite often. Gaius, despite being a mouse, was tall and broadly built. Miss Haytham-Trench, (or Kathrine, a first name that Gaius didn’t feel he knew her well enough to refer to her with.)  had once joked about him having been a bull in his previous life before asking if he wanted to be a bull in this life too, to which Gaius had answered that he was quite happy being a mouse. Since he was the big tall strong person in the work group or friend group he was often picked out to help with heavy lifting. "S-sorry Miss." The mouse said sheepishly. "I already paid for tickets and everything."

Kathrine stared at him blankly, visibly disappointed. She quickly redid the button on her shirt and stood up. "Right. Anyway, we got a habitat unit that just missed their deadline." The dark dressed mouse said, a hint of annoyance in her tone as she leaned over her desk and wrote something on a post it note.

He blinked. "Oh?"

"I'd deal with it myself but-although I-" The shorter, older mouse began but stopped, seemingly thinking about something, almost hesitant. "No, I gotta head home early and deal with my-i mean spend time with my husband. I'm going to need you to deal with the eviction."

His tail stopped flicking excitedly. "R-really?" He stammered as his employer handed him the post it note.

"Sure. Why not." She snatched up her cup of coffee and pastry. "Just remember to lock up afterwards and don't make too much of a mess."

Gaius felt a pit form in his stomach. His boss always dealt with the evictions herself, always. She would spend hours in the safe room and would always come back out exhausted and sweaty like she'd just finished a vigorous workout, but always in a really good mood. Gaius had walked past the safe room and heard the noises of straining coming from within. "I-isn't it like-- really hard?"

"Not really." She sighed, walking past the much taller mouse. "Just make sure to do it on the center table so the other habitats can see."

"But how do i-" Gaius stammered. "How do I do it?"

Kathrine stopped, turning around to look at Gaius. She slowly looked the towering mouse up and down, lingering on his broad chest before her eyes trailed down, lingering for a moment on his crotch as she bit her lip softly. Gaius looked down, worried he might have spilled something on his pants. "Just--just get creative." She finally said as a wide smile crept across her face.

"C-creative?" Gaius repeated, adjusting his glasses. 

"And do it in a way that sends a message to the others to make sure they know to keep paying." She quickly said. "See you tomorrow, 9 o' clock, sharp. I'm gonna need a massage before an early meeting."

---

He felt on edge as he typed in the code to the safe room, named so as it was the room where they kept their customers safe. 

The room itself was fairly regular and not really that safe compared to other rooms aside from the keypad access needed to enter it, which everyone in the insurance office had. 

The console beeped and the door slid open, allowing Gaius to step inside the room. It was a small chamber, only enough to fit a single table and five shelves, shelves housing small devices. Their clients.

It was a spin on a very simple business. Out in the vastness of the universe there were so many, ridiculously many ways to die.  Not just on an individual level, entire ships, bases, towns, cities, countries and even star systems could vanish in a blink of an eye. Of course, those events were rare. Most of the time places and people would suffer a slow, agonizing death too horrible to put into words in even the most descriptive languages of the vast universe. It was an endless parade of cosmic horror out there. Unless you had money.

Through a very expensive process, richer worlds could buy safety. Or rather, insurance. For most of their worlds. It was really simple actually. Using a third party contractor offering a very specific service (and free delivery) entire continents could be compressed and downsized until they could fit in the palm of a large hand. After that, those continents could be housed in a container and kept in a remote, undisclosed location where none of the horrible things that could happen in space could possibly come for them...for a reasonable monthly price.

This room was one of those undisclosed locations.  An insurance office that housed a total of 271 clients paying for the privilege of staying safe while their planets suffered some atrocious fate that would lead to their destruction.

Gaius scanned the shelves with his eyes, glancing down at the note in his hand. 8IHI. After a brief search, the mouse spotted the container he was looking for.

It was a nice looking landmass. No wider than his palm, not counting the container. With lush fields of blue plants. He couldn't remember the name of the planet it came from but Gaius could recall that they were in a big hurry to get off their planet. Something about an invading empire--or was it some civil war on their own planet. Gaius hadn't really been listening since he got distracted by the guy delivering the container. He still regretted not getting that cute lynx's number.

Carefully, he unplugged the container and removed it from its spot on the shelf and moved it over to the table. When he first started working there, the idea of holding onto something housing billions of people had him all sorts of nervous but he was used to it by now. After all, those casing were insanely durable. He dropped one on accident at least once a month and so far it hadn't caused any problems. Or at least that's what Kathrine had told him.

The mouse stood over the container. He was starting to feel a bit awkward. It was a really nice looking world and he was sure that the blue plant covered landscape probably looked amazing up close and not nanoscopic on some table. How was he supposed to do this? He'd been told to do it in a way that sent a message to the others. It sounded gruesome but according to his boss they needed the extra incentive because they needed to make sure the clients remembered why they needed to keep paying for the service. Plus, they couldn't be burdened with the extra cost of sending them back to their home worlds where they would meet the same fate anyway. There was no other way around it, that world had to be utterly destroyed.

How was the question? He couldn't just...dump it in the trash...could he? Compared to the various ways the universe could obliterate something, being chucked into a plastic bin didn't exactly scream 'incentive'. Miss H-T said to send a message.

His train of thought was derailed by a red light that started blinking on the side panel of the container. "Oh no." Gaius sighed.

Each container was fitted with a boatload of functions made to keep the continents within safe and healthy. One of those features was the ability to talk to normal sized people outside the container. A handy way to update monthly fees or exchange billing information. Gaius had heard about this from the boss. Of course the rulers of each container knew that they'd missed the deadline and would often call at the last minute to negotiate or beg. It was really sad since company policy was not to allow any sort of renegotiation. as Kathrine had said, if you give them an inch they take a mile.

Gaius gave the container a sad smile and denied the call. Best to not delay this more than he had to.

Deftly, he tapped the password into the tiny console on the side. "Pass...word...1." As soon as the last letter was input, a loud hiss sounded from the container and the glass like ceiling popped up and the steel rim clicked, allowing Gaius to slide the mechanism away and leaving the continent sitting on the small steel plate that remained.

He took a moment to examine the tiny continent closer. It had to be terrifying to be so small and he couldn't imagine how horrible the civil war or whatever they were hiding from had to be to warrant making themselves this vulnerable. In a way, going out in a controlled environment like this was probably way better than sending them back. Gaius rose to his full height. "uh-Hey!" The mouse spoke in as clear a tone as he could manage. "So uhm- Y-you have failed to keep your payment schedule and your accounts have therefore been terminated. S-sorry about that. I'll try to make this quick and painless!"

Despite his promise, he wasn't sure how to accomplish that. He could just step on them but that would leave too many areas to the sides left undamaged and he wanted to make sure there was no chance anything got left in ruins. That would bum him out. Using his hand to just flatten the continent was also an option but he wasn't sure if there was some poison stuff on that world. As pretty as that blue landscape was, it was likely super poisonous to someone not native to that world...and they didn't stock gloves at the office.

An idea popped into his head. A method that would eliminate the world as quickly and painfully as possible while also keeping to his boss’s  orders of making it impactful for all the other worlds watching.

Gaius turned around, leaning his rear over the tiny continent. It was the perfect plan! His butt was large enough to cover the entire world and plush enough to make sure no little things got left behind. Plus, it was clothed so he wouldn't catch some alien poisoning and it would definitely send a message to the other worlds. He couldn't imagine there were many worlds that wanted to meet their end under someone else's end.

He softly ran a hand across a khaki pants covered cheek, giving it a firm squeeze. The mouse was just a little proud of his hind features. After years of squatting and sculpting it, why shouldn't he be? Surely, the world below would appreciate a quick and merciful end under his butt rather than whatever else the universe might throw at them.

Slowly, the mouse leaned his rear back, trying his best to keep an eye on the world on the table at the same time. He could barely see it over his shoulder, the rounded shadow of his cheeks looming over them. The tiny lights of tiny cities could be seen in the shade, with small flickers floating out from the tiny gray clusters. Often, members of the civilization would try to escape on ships after their rent time ran out. They didn't really bother dealing with those since they were too small to be an issue and would most often just get destroyed by the office air conditioning, though Gaius did inhale a gnat sized battle cruiser that got stuck in his nose once.

With a smile, he slowly lowered himself down, trying to aim his rear the best he could to perfectly cover the tiny continent fully.

*Crunch-Crrrack!*

As soon as his ass touched down, the thin bedrock plating under the continent snapped as the plush cheek covered the entire landmass. Gaius felt a small shiver as he felt the subtle crunch under his butt. If he'd been wearing anything thicker than his gray khaki pants he would likely not even have felt it. He lingered in his seat for a moment, wiggling his hips in place and feeling the remains of the world crumble under him before rising back to his feet and turning around to inspect his handiwork.

The charming little blue continent was gone, replaced with what looked like a smoothed spot of dirt on a plate. Not a single part of the continent remained. 

"Huh. That was easier than I thoug-" Gaius froze, feeling a slight dampness on his cheek. Craning his neck back, he spotted the cause.

Adorning a majority of his left cheek and the entirety of his right was a large blue stain, clearly visible like the sun in the sky across the rear of his khaki pants.

"Darn!" Gaius cussed. "Crud!" The mouse quickly took his pants off and laid them across the surface of the table besides the former home to billions that he'd just sat on. He fished a handkerchief out of the breast pocket of his shirt and tried his best to clean it off, with little success. He had no idea how the hell his employer managed to do this sort of work without any stains on her clothing. She could go through several containers in a single day and her clothes would look as clean as the morning she walked into the office in them.

As the mouse struggled to get the blue off his butt, he spotted a small slip of paper that had fallen out of his pocket in the commotion of finding his handkerchief. The post-it note his boss had given him earlier. IHI8.

He blinked a few times, turning the note around a few times. Gaius glanced up at shelf IHI8, spotting another container there. An unplugged container. "OH crumbs!"

In a panic, the mouse paced around for a moment. Kathrine was gonna kill him or worse, fire him!

Thinking fast, Gaius hopped over to shelf IHI8 and grabbed the container, rushing with it over to shelf 8IHI and plugging it in there. Tiny lights lit up inside the container, making the small green continent inside slightly more visible. Surely his boss wouldn't notice it, right? "D-don't tell my boss about this-please?" Gaius whispered to the container.

Glancing over his shoulder, the mouse quickly moved back over to the table in the center of the room and hopped back into his pants, quickly throwing the remains of world 8IHI into the trash and putting away the container to be used for another world before heading out of the room, heart pounding in his chest.

Maybe he should call in sick tomorrow...

#sizetumblr #macrophilia #size kink #giant/tiny #macro/micro #story #furry anthro #macrofurry #furry #macro #mouse #giga macro #extreme size difference #sizefetish #size difference #crushing #nano #illustrated short story #short story #art #writing #giant male

[just-horrible-things]

‘Verse: Box Boy Universe Story: A Girl Called Spider Timeline: Not long before Spider's birthday gift

Turnabout [Next]

He’s had this nightmare before. The one where he wakes up on white tiles, in one of the so-familiar white rooms, with a collar round his neck.

He swallows. His throat is dry and sticky. His eyes itch.

His head swims when he tries to get up, so he crawls. He knows, before he reaches the door, that it won’t open. He tries anyway.

It’s just a dream, he tells himself, as he sinks back to the floor. It’s just a bad dream, just gotta wake up. 

The room fades in and out, mixing and blurring with other dreams, until he forgets the fear.

He’s woken by a sharp impact to the ribs. He groans, rolls over, and blinks blearily up the length of a handler’s uniform at the stranger looking down at him.

“Mmbuh?” he queries eloquently.

She kicks him again.

“Owwhh! -- Whawasatfr?” “Move,” she commands with a sharp gesture.

Rayce sits up on his elbows to look around, and abruptly realises he is naked. His mouth opens in surprise.

“How’d I…?” “I said, move.”

She grabs him by the – by the collar – and he chokes, legs scrabbling to take his weight, as she hauls him further into the room and drops him back onto the tiles.

He gawks up at her.

“Hold on,” he says, “hold on, now, this isn’t funny. This – this is some sick joke, you’ve got some nerve –” “I don’t joke,” the woman says.

And the world whites out with pain.

Something white-hot is stabbed through his throat and he chokes, eyes bulging, scrabbling at his neck but there’s nothing there but the collar – the fucking collar – he tries to pull it away from his skin and he can’t breathe and –

– it stops.

The searing pain vanishes, leaving only an itching sting and the tightness of cramped muscles. The scream dies in his throat and he gasps deeply for air.

“One,” the woman says, “you don’t talk back to your handlers. Two,” ticking it off on her fingers, “you don’t touch your collar.”

He sees the remote this time, in a brief flash of clarity. He sees her thumb on the button.

Then the pain steals his vision, his thoughts, his mind and he can only howl and panic and thrash on the floor.

There are tears in his eyes when it stops.

He stares up at the unfamiliar handler, panting raggedly. His throat burns.

“No,” he says, “hold on, there’s been some mistake, I’m not –” “Three,” she says over him, not loudly but firmly, “you don’t say no to me.”

He screams again. The shock knifes through his throat, a blade of pure pain lodged through his windpipe. And this time it goes on, and on, and on. He doesn’t feel his fingernails digging gouges in his neck.

Only when the world dims and starts to go dark does the agony finally let up.

Light and wits filter back in slowly. He’s aware of the rasping breath in his burning throat before he’s aware of his limbs, sprawled out at inelegant angles.

Right above his face is the woman with the remote, crouched over him with impassive disinterest.

He opens his mouth, but she lays a single finger across his lips. “Shhh.”

With a painful swallow, Rayce is quiet.

“For someone who already knows all the rules, I’d have thought you’d be better at this.” “I’m not –” he tries to croak. This time she only has to move the remote into his line of sight, and his teeth click shut again.

The electrode is still burning against his throat, a hot coal lodged underneath the collar.

“Better. Do you know why I kept shocking you that last time?” Fractionally, he shakes his head. “You kept touching the collar.”

He doesn’t remember touching the collar. But he doesn’t argue, not with her thumb still resting on the button.

“What was it you were going to tell me?” she asks. “Shh, let me guess. You’re not supposed to be here, you’re supposed to be in my shoes. Your name is Cosmo Rayce, you work for WRU like me, there’s been some kind of mix-up and you want me to take that collar off you and give you some clothes. Does that about cover it?”

Rayce stares up at her, mouth open. She takes a tri-folded piece of paper from her pocket, opens it out, and holds it in front of his face.

It’s a contract, the final page of a Pet contract, signing over life and rights and identity in perpetuity to the company. 

And at the bottom, the unmistakable scrawl of his own signature.

“N… no…”

The handler sighs, and Rayce screams again as another shock rips through his throat.

“I didn’t sign that,” he protests, as soon as he can catch his breath. “I didn’t –” “Look me in the eyes,” says the handler tiredly, “and tell me you really believe every Pet signs their own contract.” He can’t. He knows damn well they don’t. “Now tell me if you really think it matters whether you signed or not.” When he doesn’t respond, the crease between her eyebrows deepens. “I asked you a question. Do you think it makes any difference, whether this signature is real or fake?”

He shakes his head, just a millimeter’s motion in either direction.

“Speak up. Does it matter?” She has the contract in one hand, the remote still in the other. Her thumb hasn’t left the button. “... no,” he whispers. “You know better than that. No, what?” He swallows – it hurts. He knows the answer. He only hesitates for a second, because it’s hard to force the words out – but it’s too long.

His back arches with the shock, and drops helplessly back to the tiles when it stops.

“What do you say?” she prompts, “No, what?” “.... no, Handler.” His face burns. She smiles, a thin and lifeless smile. “Good.”

[Next]

#my writing #bbu #a girl called spider #handler rayce

[fallen-in-dreams]

CHAPTER ELEVEN on AO3.

Chapters on Tumblr: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.

Pairing: Gaara/Sakura.

Summary: Her descent into madness came after her friends were all dead and before she was sold off like livestock. To him. He knew a thing or two about madness. And there was peace to be found in the violence of that madness. Even if only for a time. Canon divergence AU.

Rated: Mature.

Chapter word count: 11,885.

Status: Ongoing.

Reminder: the tags/warnings are important.

Warnings: dark themes. Arranged marriage (not what you think). Eventual smut (level and degree of that warning being necessary is subjective). Death. Suicide talk. Self-harm. PTSD – expect some well-known symptoms and some not well-known ones. Please don’t read if you’re triggered by psychological &/or emotional-related trauma and effects.

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Hiya. Hope you're all doing well. :) So, I'm back. And this story is almost done. But I won't be updating every week - it'll be more like 1 or 2 weeks. The reason:

Sometimes chapters just want to get longer and longer and we really have no choice in the matter.

Unlike the last time I wrote out a fic in draft form then posted each chapter a week apart as I edited them, this story is trying to drive me crazy. 4k chapters turned into 6-9k and now THIS chapter is 11k. My editing process is squeezing that number count for all it's worth and it became so much of a chore. I really needed that New Year's break. So yeah, I'm going to slow it down a LITTLE bit. So I don't let it annoy me too much.

And I hope each and every one of you will join me for the rest of the ride. I can't wait to see what you guys think about what's coming. Cheers. :)

Enjoy. ^_^

Tumblr version:

… Chapter Eleven: To Kiss or Not to Kiss. ...

.:.

Oh love, believe me, Nothing ever comes to us easy, The river's never run up to meet me, Gotta find your own way down

-- Oh Love, by Phildel

.:.

How am I supposed to face her now?

Gaara stopped trying to figure women out a long time ago.

His argument with Sakura Haruno that morning weighed heavily on him all day. Whenever Gaara found a quiet moment or his mind would wander, images of pure fury and betrayal hounded him. Her pretty face screwed up in indignation and misery. He couldn’t get over the fact that Sakura had truly thought he was wilfully keeping her from her friends. It was just for a few moments but the level of pain that vibrated through her body still scared him.

Hours later.

Like so much about her already does.

So, he stewed in self-doubt all day, moving on autopilot as he went from council meetings to the lonely hours stuck working through tedious mission reports and high-level security reviews. Councillor Tōjūrō wanted this. Councillor Sajō insisted on that. And Councillor Ebizō inquired about their mutual concerns, via the not-so-silent Anbu they both trusted.

Gaara was beyond relieved when the working day ended, and he was able to leave. Most days, he stayed until late, and other times he simply took his work home. It had not escaped his notice that he worked too much. But what else was there? All he had outside of work were his siblings, and they had their own lives to deal with. So, most of the time, he had no-one.

And now her.

“Sakura!” Temari’s voice interrupted his thoughts as she called up to their house guest. “Dinner’s ready!”

Gaara clasped his hands together to hide the trembling of his fingers when Sakura finally descended the internal staircase for dinner. He forced himself to blink heavily to keep his vision from zoning out. Nerves and anticipation like he’d never felt before plagued him. It took all his willpower to keep from groaning in frustration at the strange feelings.

He watched pensively as Sakura sat down delicately. Swallowing heavily.

Sakura Haruno.

Gaara couldn’t keep his eyes to himself.

“Date her, talk to her, and try to figure out how we can help her in the meantime.”

Ideas began to swirl in his mind. Possibilities.

As the culinary genius of the family, Kankuro had cooked another magnificent meal. He was still in the kitchen, putting on the final touches as Temari started talking about how her own day had been. Since her decision to stay in the village she’d taken over the management of the guards and patrols of the village. Gaara didn’t know if she was trying to improve it or just scare them into line. Regardless, she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, so he gave her free reign to do (almost) whatever she wanted to them.

Temari stood to help Kankuro lay the food on the table. Sakura was staring at a spot close to the internal staircase, her fingers drumming softly on the table.

“Go get that date organised.”

Planning outings was not his thing. He’d never asked anyone on a date before. Expectation hung in the air.

“Let’s eat!” Kankuro yelled.

Dinner had always been a stiff but amicable affair. Every night, they’d sit around the main dining table to partake in one of Kankuro’s chef-level delights, talk would be minimal because they’d be enjoying the food too much to ruin the moment. But inevitably, someone would say something pointedly, and a casual, intermittent conversation would take place. Before Temari’s return, conversation would be carried by Kankuro’s attempts to make Sakura feel welcomed, strained as they were. Gaara would interject when he felt it necessary, with the occasional input from Sakura when addressed directly.

Since Temari’s return, his sister had not just driven the conversation, but wrenched it sideways and taken complete control of the reins. He wondered if was solely because of Sakura’s presence or a familiarity due to her connections to Temari’s former lover. Which begged the question of how much the pinkette knew about his fate.

Gaara gave a deep sigh that did not go unnoticed by the room at large. It all came down to lovers and friends and family, in the end. They were what truly mattered. Sakura coughed lightly and he glanced at her. Conversation would normally pick up at this point, but the air was unusually tense. He blamed himself.

Gaara hadn’t meant to hurt her by keeping the knowledge of her former allies from her. It hadn’t been vindictive. He just did not know where they were. He had his theories, of course, but nothing solid enough to act on. And this bothered him more than he could admit.

They ate in silence for a few minutes. Or rather, Temari and Kankuro did, though they both paused a few times to glance at each other, like they were planning something. Temari had shifted to the edge of the seat, an eager look on her face. Sakura was pushing her food around on the plate, not eating. Like himself. Gaara had only taken a few bites before realising he wasn’t even hungry. And Kankuro was digging in, with gusto.

When Temari broke the silence, Gaara was grateful. For all of five seconds. Then he conjured a mental image of his hands strangling her.

“So…” She looked between Gaara and Sakura as she spoke. “It turns out one of the council members is a traitor, likely in cahoots with Danzo.”

Gaara glared at her. You did that on purpose.

She shrugged her shoulders with an air of indifference that he didn’t buy for a second. She’d been trying to convince him to let Sakura in on his ultimate plans for the Leaf Resistance, the future of Suna, and this Cold War. His sister wanted too much. He told her so. He’d been telling her so. But now, the decision was out of his hands. Sakura wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass. Kankuro put his cutlery down and leaned back, watching quietly. Amusement and curiosity danced in his eyes. Gaara could almost hear him thinking, well this should be interesting.

Sakura stopped playing with her food and looked up at Temari after side eyeing Gaara. He braced himself.

“How do you know there’s a traitor?”

“Through Lord Ebizō,” Temari said without hesitation. “Apparently, he’s been working with Gaara here.” She pointed her thumb at him as he scowled back at her. “They’ve found–”

“Temari.”

Kankuro made a soft sound the was halfway between a scoffed and snicker. Nobody paid him any mind.

Gaara glared at his sister. “She doesn’t need to know.”

She won’t be able to handle it, went unsaid.

He was aware of the insult to her person, but he couldn’t help himself. Kazekage or not, Sakura was under his care. She wasn’t one of his ninja. She was in no way his subordinate. Or professional equal. And as such, she was not to be privy to sensitive village information. He could not take responsibility for that. It was enough that he’d given Temari and Kankuro the highest security clearance legally possible for them simply because they were family. And the fact that they could handle it was beside the point.

This wasn’t a matter of trust. Sakura just wasn’t like them. Not anymore.

The pinkette scowled at him. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

Gaara sat up straighter. He matched her glare with one of his own. It was to be a battle of the wills, then.

.:.

Sakura did not pull her eyes from Gaara while Temari continued as though she hadn’t been interrupted.

“As you would know, communications between different Kage are always done in code or with a Kage-only sealing jutsu.”

Sakura nodded still staring at the Kazekage. She’d seen Tsunade pen letters to other Kage numerous times in both ways. Shizune had been a pro at transcribing the Hokage’s frustrated and eye-twitching candour to something more diplomatic. Sakura had never quite mastered that skill. Where Shizune excelled, Sakura fell behind. Where Sakura shined, Shizune’s skills were lacking. In that way, they’d complimented each other as Tsunade’s most trusted aides.

“Well,” Kankuro added, breaking his own silence. “Lord Ebizō came to Gaara with copies of transcribed missives that had deletion points in them.”

Sakura nodded again. A deletion point was exactly as it sounded. Information that was sent to Danzo must have been deleted at Suna’s end but not Konoha’s. It was off the record information. The only legitimate reason to delete parts of a message on the official, final copy, was for Kage level reasons. And this was clearly a deletion that Gaara had been unaware of.

What it even meant, she couldn’t say. But there was another problem.

“How…” she started softly, fighting to keep her staring match with the redhead. “How did he find it?”

It was a dangerous thing to do, but also difficult to detect. One might say damn near impossible, considering they shouldn’t have a reason for even looking for it. And whomever discovered the deletion point would have to be exceptionally skilled at Cryptanalysis. At the very least. Had it been Ebizō himself?

Temari answered her unasked question. “A new jounin found it. He wasn’t supposed to be there, apparently. Was just covering a shift for a friend. He’s listed primarily as a sensor ninja but apparently started his prior chunin career as a Cryptanalysis specialist.”

Sakura nodded again, finally understanding. “Lucky.”

“Yes. But unfortunately, he couldn’t tell who made the deletions.”

Of course. Sakura would be surprised if he had. So, this jounin had gone to Ebizō instead of the Kazekage? Maybe because it had been a Kage level security issue, he’d instead gone to the only person whose reputation was both impeccable as well as unquestionable.

“But how does that mean a council member did it?” Was she missing something?

It was Kankuro’s turn to answer. “Nobody in this room but Gaara could do it and we know he didn’t. The next line of suspects are the senior members of the council. Councillors Sajō, Ryūsa, and Tōjūrō are the senior advisors who legally have access to Kage level information. Officially, anyway.”

Because of course the Kazekage reserves the right to not inform them of anything if he doesn’t want to.

“How senior is Ebizō?”

“He leads the council.”

Sakura blinked heavily. So, it could’ve been Ebizō but wasn’t, because he brought it to Gaara’s attention. So, he was the only one they could trust. Almost as though this whole thing was a test that Gaara had set up to suss out the reliability of his subordinates. Except that he couldn’t have predicted this jounin’s inclusion. It would’ve been a piss poor test if nobody found it.

Sakura tapped her chin staring back into Gaara’s seafoam eyes with something akin to calmness. Almost like she was a real person having a legitimate conversation.

Well, look at me, acting like a normal, functioning person. What would my mirror image hallucination think about that?

“Councillors Sajō, Ryūsa, and Tōjūrō.”

She didn’t know anything about Ryūsa beyond some murmuring that he might lead the council one day. Tōjūrō was a complete mystery. But Sajō? Oh, Councillor Sajō she knew. That was a face she’d never forget, the arrogant, pompous, prick. She had fantasies about strangling him with his own intestines on a daily basis. If she could, she would.

Her eyes drifted as Sakura imagined, once again, the choking sounds of the older man as she throttled him. It took a few more seconds and a clearing of Gaara’s throat before she scowled, realising what had just happened. In her distraction, she’d accidentally broke eye contact with him. When she looked back at him, the Kazekage was looking smug.

Shit.

.:.

Gaara couldn’t contain his smirk as Sakura broke their staring contest. Something clunking around in her brain had distracted her.

Good.

“Councillors Sajō, Ryūsa, and Tōjūrō.” Sakura mumbled to herself once more, angling her body away from Gaara and his gaze. He kept watching, his face falling into a frown as she ignored him.

“It has to be Sajō,” she said.

“Why?” Temari asked.

Sakura pulled a face. “I’ve had the unfortunate displeasure of being hounded by him. He’s an arsehole.”

“His personality is not evidence,” Gaara intervened, and she glared at him before turning away again.

Sakura pursed her lips. “I know it’s him.”

“Okay.” His brother was driving Gaara crazy. Temari added to the frustration by echoing his words.

He couldn’t sit here and allow this anymore. “No,” he said.

Sakura clenched her fists, her eyes darting over to the corner of the room; she’d jumped slightly, but there was nothing there to startle her. Sometimes, Gaara wondered about that. Hallucinations.

“This isn’t up for discussion,” he said.

It was a wonder his sanity was still intact, dealing with her. She slammed her fists down on the table, dislodging silverware and making his siblings jump out of their skins, but not so hard as to damage the structural integrity of the furniture.

“You promised,” she said scathingly, glaring openly at him, and he was reminded of their argument that morning. “You said you would tell me–”

“I said that we’ll talk later,” he corrected her.

“About the Leaf Resistance!” She yelled and Temari and Kankuro’s heads whipped towards Gaara. He could feel their confusion and surprise but ignored them. “About what you’re doing! You said we should talk. We need to talk. So, let’s talk damn it!”

“This cipher talk isn’t about the Resistance,” he growled. “Nor is the traitor councillor.”

“Do you know that for sure?” She snapped. “Or are you just presuming? What if it’s all connected, Gaara? What if none of it is a coincidence?” She was on a roll now, taking a deep breath before charging into her new hypothesis with gusto. “Danzo doesn’t want a strong alliance with Suna, and we all know it. I’m not actually here to marry you! What if my mission is part of a larger plan? Sending a Root member with me when those tiny little fucking bastards are not actually trained in diplomacy? You have to admit that’s suspicious! So, what if his connection with this traitor has something to do with the Resistance? Or to undermine Suna because he already has a highly connected ally within your walls! What if it’s all connected? Did you ever stop to think about that?”

Gaara blinked heavily at her. Her deduction was quite the stretch. But crazier things had happened and he couldn’t think of a valid counter point, so he would be remiss to completely rule it out. He sighed. But this wasn’t the place to discuss this.

“I can help,” she said, her voice suddenly soft. He didn’t respond. “He won’t expect anything from me.”

“We don’t even know it’s him,” Gaara said. He was fighting with himself as much as her. He didn’t want to push her out of this, but it was political. And she wasn’t a Suna native. It wouldn’t be treason, but it would be dangerous. For both of them.

Maybe I’m overreacting.

He had no clue. Sakura’s face scrunched up as though she was in pain and her head dipped. She closed her eyes and he imagined she was struggling to calm herself. Was she having a panic attack? Gaara felt a similar spasm grasp his chest at the thought of having done this to her.

I can’t do anything right, with her.

She stood up abruptly, not looking at anyone. Her hands were balled into fists and Gaara’s stomach clenched painfully. Guilt. He felt the urge to say something, anything, to keep her from leaving this room angry. But nothing came to mind. He sat there, with his mouth slightly agape, unable to say the things she needed to hear.

Why?

There was a war in Gaara’s heart. The urge to protect her. The urge to respect her desire to participate. The urge to keep her far from the machinations of the evil of this world. He felt like he was being torn in too many different directions. But he knew that above all, he was being incredibly selfish.

With no regard for her uneaten dinner, Sakura stormed out.

He couldn’t release the groan that threatened to bubble up his throat. Gaara remembered he still had an audience and turned his head minutely to glance at them. Temari was frowning at him, her fingers tapping the table soundlessly. Kankuro was shaking his head, his lips twisted in barely controlled irritation. Gaara let that effervescent groan escape his mouth. He was an arsehole. He knew it. Because his siblings had never looked at him with so much disappointment before. Even when he let a demon out to play havoc on their village as a blood thirsty child.

.:.

When will I ever learn?

She was too emotional. Always had been. Weak. Pathetic. Emotional little girl. Expected too much of others. Presumed too much of herself. Stupid.

Sakura stormed up the internal staircase and slammed her bedroom door closed. She didn’t stop there, grabbing the cactus Matsuri and Yukata had given her (what else did she have?) and throwing it against the wall. Not the back of the door. No, not the chronicle of her timeline in Suna.

Soil spilled onto the floor, but the succulent remained firmly in the pot. The hardy bastard.

She let out a long-winded, slightly high-pitched groan. One minute Gaara was open and treating her like a human being and the next, looking down on her and breaking his promises. She felt so childish, but Sakura didn’t care. She wanted to rage and yell and pound some faces into the ground. She let her anger broil and seethe as she turned and threw herself at the bed. Head in the middle and feet dangling over the edge, she screamed into the blanket for all she was worth.

Which isn’t much, let’s be honest.

It was best to muffle her more violent urges. Noisy. Yes. The last thing she wanted was for someone to hear her screaming and to come running. If they would even. She scoffed. Sakura groaned, then rolled onto her back, grabbed the pillow, and attempted to suffocate herself. It wouldn’t be the first attempt since her arrival at Suna.

Who am I kidding?

She wasn’t trying to do anything to herself.

Sakura gripped the pillow harder, closed her eyes tightly and then screamed again. The muffled sound only made her ears pop. She sighed and sat up wearily. She needed to stop doing this to herself. After so long alone, Sakura had started to think she was a part of something. Maybe something special. Probably just something not toxic. Not dangerous. Kankuro was personable. Temari seemed genuinely happy to see her. But Gaara… fuck, she had to stop wanting more from him.

She shook herself and stood up as the mirage floated into the room, through that blasted window. Sakura’s heart raced and she shivered. Had the temperature dropped suddenly or was she just feeling the aftereffects of her panic attack? She watched as the mirage as it turned on the spot and seemed to only just notice her, glowering now.

“I hate you,” she said with conviction. I really do.

“You brought this on yourself,” it replied.

“Shut up.”

Its smile was cruel. Sakura closed her eyes and sat back down on the bed; hands fisted on her thighs.

“He doesn’t care about you.”

“Go away.”

“You’re useless to him.”

She wanted to cry. A choked sob escaped her before she could stop it. No. She was in control of this. Sakura threw her pillow at the mirage. And of course it sailed right through that smug, broken, and bloodied face. It was happy and angry at the same time. How could something that wasn’t even real hold any emotions at all?

“Are you even trying to escape this stupid hell hole?”

No, apparently Sakura had completely forgotten she wanted out of Suna. How long had it been? She paused in her internal debate to glance at the back of her bedroom door.

Twenty-five days so far.

“Ugh.”

Between wanting in on Gaara’s schemes and her ink creatures, Sakura still had no idea what she was doing. Her creations had scouted the village outskirts and even memorised the guard positions and patrol routes. There was no predictability to times, but the places were all the same. It was something to work with, at least. But it was getting her nowhere.

Twenty-five days and all she’d accomplished was making a fool of herself in front of everyone.

Gaara didn’t want her help. Her creatures had probably escaped this hell hole, leaving her behind. There was nothing to do. Nothing but sit in her room like a good girl and wait out whatever plan Gaara and his siblings had. Once the traitor had been identified and proven they could then tackle the political mess Danzo had Suna entrenched in. And Sakura would be free.

And this time I’ll run.

She’d kill the Root shadow and run. Sakura grasped at her chest, grinning despite the hole in her heart. She didn’t notice the single tear at first. It contained all her hopes for being human again. She wiped at it, not sure what to think of it. But she was spared that particular, repetitive self-flagellation at the abrupt sound of a hiss. She started, spinning around quickly. Her kunai was still in the hole in the windowsill. Conveniently between her and the source of the disturbance.

I really need a better hiding place.

Or multiple kunai dipped in poison. Yes, that would be better. More kunai, more targets. She smiled ruefully at that, her focus snapping to the window. She breathed a sigh of relief when there was no attack but rather the shadows of familiar shapes.

They’re finally back.

The ink creatures. The vulture-like bird and viper shaped snake. They slid into the room through the open window, moving in tandem. Between the two of them they had a death grip on something. Something distinctly snake-shaped and presumably dead. A wide grin spread over her face, and they halted their movements.

“Yes,” she hissed. She inched toward them as the ink bird hopped impatiently, releasing its own grip. When she touched the real snake softly, the ink snake twisted its body, tightening its hold on the carcass. The snake was indeed dead. She sighed, relieved. That would make this much easier. The chemical make-up of venom did not change after the snake died. So, theoretically, she should be able to extract the venom and use it, no problem.

Sakura vividly remembered a description of the milking process from a snake husbandry book during her genin days in Konoha.

Press down on the back of the snake’s head after it bites the container. The fangs will drip out venom for at least fifteen to twenty seconds.

Those instructions had been for a live snake. She cocked her head at the dead one as it was still being half-heartedly strangled by living ink, at her feet. Well, hopefully its deceased status wouldn’t make a difference other than ease of access. Hopefully.

Do I do this now?

Normally, she’d wait for the other occupants of the household to go to bed before doing something she didn’t want to be walked in on doing. Right now, standing, staring, and contemplating her sanity carried a high risk of interruption.

Sakura glanced up at the clock. She’d only been back in the room for almost two minutes. It felt far longer. She sighed, resigned, and shooed her hand at the ink creatures. Trying to corral cats would be easier. They just sat and stared at her. Or rather, the snake remained motionless except for the occasional tightening of its possessive grip and the bird cocked its head at her. Much like she’d done a moment ago. Not that it made a difference if they suddenly started towards the bathroom or something, to keep out of sight. And this whole thing would be far safer if she waited, anyway. She’d already been waiting two days for their return to begin, what was a few more hours?

Still feels like I’ve been pacing impatiently for far longer.

She sat on the edge of her bed and closed her eyes. Her emotions had settled. She felt so drained. But not exhausted. There was an old meditation technique that Lady Tsunade had taught her, and she was just scooting back further onto the bed to try it when Sakura paused, startled by the sudden rush of chakra.

Gaara’s chakra.

Gaara’s knock on her door.

“Is he here to apologise?” She’d forgotten about the mirage. Its singsong, mocking voice floated over to her. “I don’t think so.”

She inhaled deeply, unable to stop the sudden hiccupping sob that sounded from her mouth. All the anger and fear and feelings of resentment and abandonment that had just disappeared, all the tension in her body, suddenly returned with a vengeance. How could one person, so innately collected and calm, invoke such a raging storm inside her? She hated it. And right now, she hated him.

“Stop lying.”

Go away.

He wasn’t going away.

Fuck the mirage. She wanted Gaara to leave her alone. But she also wanted him to persist. To show her she was worth the effort. That he cared. Sakura wiped at her tears and attempted to make her face look presentable. Maybe he would give up. In that case the only person who would see her tears was herself.

He knocked again.

“Sakura?” That deep, soft voice. Gods.

What is he doing to me?

.:.

Moonlight filtered in through her window as Sakura stared at the door. The ink creatures twittered and hissed, respectively, nearby and she wasn’t ready for Gaara to see them.

“Think he’ll actually call you crazy this time?”

Maybe. The mirage grinned at her thought.

“Sakura?”

Right, he was still outside her room. She fought the urge to flee. It had been her default state since arriving in Suna and it was beyond exhausting.

And embarrassing.

She glanced at the snake and bird before slowly opening the door half a foot and holding tightly to the frame to keep him from pushing it open. If he had such a notion. Sakura forced herself to look him in the eye.

The shame. His face was full of it.

“Hi.”

He nodded but before Gaara could respond, Sakura moved forward, placing a trembling hand on his chest, keeping her eyes on his. Pale green irises widened but he didn’t complain. Feeling more confident, Sakura pushed him gently and closed the door behind herself. In the hallway. Alone. Together. Her other hand found its way to his chest and Sakura felt his heart beat a little faster under her fingertips.

“It’s a nice night,” she said, her voice low and strong. Maybe. She had no idea. It just had to be strong enough to project confidence. Conviction she missed about her past herself. She was trying, really. “Let’s go to the roof.”

His eyes searched hers wordlessly, clearly trying to figure out what her plan was. What she was thinking. Why she was thinking it. Maybe even if she was trying to trick him. He’d deserve it, after that display during dinner, but Sakura tried for her most saccharine smile.

Seemingly convinced, he slipped his right arm around her waist and pulled her gently toward him, flush against his body. Sand whipped up around them and she couldn’t stop the light gasp for the life of her. Steeling herself, Sakura gripped harder to him as they disappeared from the hallway outside her bedroom and her centre of gravity shifted and they reappeared on the roof of the Kazekage mansion.

The cold night air hit her first. She shivered but didn’t complain. She expected Gaara to pull away immediately but his hold on her remained firm. Almost like it was his apology. Or he was working up to one. Sakura waited. And glanced around, remembering that the Root shadow would be able to see them from the outside, on the roof, even if he couldn’t hear them.

She could imagine that freak’s reaction if he was watching right now. Sakura remembered, one of the few times the masked man hadn’t berated her on their three-day journey to Suna he’d gone over her expectations on this mission. He’d expected her to lull Gaara into a false sense of security. To take advantage of him. To play the part of a girl being sold off.

Use your assets, he’d said, leering at her. It’s not like you haven’t done this before.

Danzo had not ordered her to sleep with, let alone woo Gaara, specifically. But it was in every look he’d given her before sending her off. It was in between every line in the official papers for this mission. Of course, she’d ignored it. Sakura hadn’t planned to be here this long. But here she was, with Gaara’s arm around her, and all Sakura could think of was that, technically, this was supposed to be a seduction mission. She hadn’t foreseen viewing Gaara as a sexual being. It had snuck up on her, now painfully obvious. Sakura knew it before but a part of her had also denied it, but it was true. There was no going back now. She wanted him.

Desperately.

But she was done hoping he would start anything. Gaara wasn’t like that.

Sakura started as his left arm came around to embrace her. His chin resting on top of her head, and he let out a soft sigh. It made her body tremble in response, and she wondered what he was trying to do if not turn her on. This was out of character for him. As far as she could tell. She inhaled deeply. And he needed to stop smelling so good too.

Because it’s hot as fuck.

She wanted to dominate him. The feeling wasn’t new to her but the chance to be the one in control, was. All she’d ever done is exude a fake version of confidence. Sex was methodical. A tool. To her, at least. And here was Gaara, making her want something else. Something more.

But how am I supposed to get that?

She had no idea how to instigate this. Reluctantly, Sakura released her hold on Gaara and after a few moments of what seemed like internal contemplation, he uncoiled his arms, removing them from her hips gently. Always the gentleman. Never the paramour. She cleared her throat and took a step backwards.

He wouldn’t want me that way, anyway.

She needed to get this under control. This level of intensity wasn’t natural for her. It had to be a side effect of either the prazosin drug she was taking or her anxiety. Post Traumatic Distress Disorder. She wasn’t so stupid as to presume she’d survived the last few years with her sanity intact. And it would explain so much.

“I’m sorry.”

Sakura’s jaw dropped at Gaara’s words. He was sorry. She blinked stupidly at him.

“For everything,” he said.

She nodded slowly, licking her lips absentmindedly. Yes, he’d been an arse. She could accept this. She stared at him for a moment, contemplating how to go about the discussion she wanted to have with him. He kept eye contact, obviously content with waiting for her input. She tried to smile but her lips quivered.

Sakura sighed.

“Councillor Sajō. He came to a few of the wedding planning sessions,” she said, deciding on a change of topic. “He was abrupt but otherwise respectful to the other ladies. But he kept glancing at me.” She shuddered at the memory. “He didn’t like what he saw. And he hates me. I know it’s not a lot to go on,” she added. “I’m sorry I was so pushy and defensive about it.”

“It’s not your fault.”

Sakura didn’t think he had anything to base that on. Sometimes she thought he had a secret file that occasionally leaked information about her to him, in minute amounts; just enough for him to get glimpses into her psyche, but not enough for a deep dive. Enough for his pity to sting her. To burn. And enough for him to think her some kind of helpless victim.

She stood straighter, shoulders pushed back, and chin raised. Sakura had never been good at hiding her feelings, even after the Root commanded that had trained her in the early days of Danzo’s reign got tired of her lack of control. The man had very little patience for emotional outbursts. He could teach her all manner of underhanded jutsu and Root-based tactics but mental conditioning to suppress her emotions? She was never going to master that. Not to his satisfaction, anyway. There was no seal on her tongue. Danzo didn’t stick needles in her eyes and brainwash her. No, he just had his subordinates torture her. Poke her full of holes. Heal her. Fry her. Rinse and repeat. She was fun to play with, apparently. Even more so than some others because an unwilling servant could scream the loudest.

“The council has always been difficult,” Gaara interrupted her thoughts, running a hand through his hair distractedly. He looked past her, as though someone had appeared suddenly, and she had to refrain from turning to look. But there had to be nobody there because his demeanour didn’t change. “They do like to make up their own rules sometimes.”

“I can believe that. Especially after that councillor started having me followed.”

Sakura was adamant that Sajō had. The Root shadow never seemed bothered by it. He’d even laughed a few times when she’d stopped on her way back to the Kazekage’s mansion, sensing the darkening presence behind her. Escorted by Matsuri and Yukata, she was shielded by their presence. Their limited protection. But the moment she strayed again; Sakura knew all bets would be off.

And who knows what Sajō is actually willing to throw down?

Would he have her cornered and interrogated? Would he stoop to physically attacking her? Maybe an attack like that would-be-assassin? He was making sure she stayed in line. After their run-in at the council building, she showed herself to be a loose cannon. And if Sajō was in league with Danzo, then it was likely the Root shadow would help him.

She explained all of this to Gaara, leaving out how her contemplation on how far Sajō would go intrigued her. If the old man gave her a reason to fight back, she would. Gaara frowned, concern marring his features.

“It has to be him,” she said.

“It’s at least a place to start,” he agreed.

Sakura smiled widely at him, warmth spreading over her face. Was she blushing? But hope had burgeoned in her chest, and she didn’t care, either way. His eyes softened as he stared back at her, and she had to push down the sudden urge to throw her arms around him.

“I can help,” she said. It wasn’t meant as a reprimand, but Gaara’s face shifted into stony seriousness.

“I know,” he said, his voice low and ashamed. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

She nodded. “You know… I can handle myself.”

“I know–”

“I just…”

Sakura glanced around the rooftop, remembering another night when he’d followed her up here and she’d killed a masked assassin. It felt like years had passed since then. Being here for the first time since then brought it all back. The blood on her hands. The rain gently trying, and failing, to wash it away. Her mind spasming in ecstasy at the opportunity to finally get to kill something. When she eventually turned back to Gaara she found him looking around in a similar manner, a faraway, contemplative expression on his face.

Does he think of that night often, too?

“We never talked about that night,” she said, and suddenly had his full attention again. “I killed a man–”

“Who was trying to kill you,” he interrupted, but she kept going, unimpeded.

“–right here. I tore into him. And I know you know I took pleasure in it.” She inhaled deeply, her breath shaky, and ignoring the way he looked pensive. “And I know you know… that I’m not…” She struggled to find the right way to explain how she’d lost the plot without sounding dramatic. But it wouldn’t come. Instead, she tried another angle. “Sometimes it comes in flashes. I’ll be okay one moment and then… I’ll just want to dig my kunai into something. Or even my bare hands. That ache. That desire.” She sighs. “I know you understand.”

Because you used to be out of control too went unsaid.

“And I see things…” She cut herself off quickly, not wanting to go further down that rabbit hole.

Gaara’s eyes had widened slightly at that admission, but he didn’t say anything. She was grateful for that.

Anyway…

“I’m not all there, I know. But I’m not so far gone that–”

“You’re not crazy, Sakura. You’re not worthless or useless or unworthy.” Gaara narrowed his eyes at her. His hands twitched, like he too was fighting the urge for them to embrace. She longed for that warmth again, shifting the weight between her feet nervously.

He stared at her intensely and she swallowed heavily in a vain attempt to stop the flow of tears. They stuck in the corner of her eyes in warning, and she tried so hard to keep them from falling, clenching her fists, digging her nails into her hands. Whatever she needed to do. Sakura nodded her head in agreement even as she refused to accept his sweet words.

But her gratitude towards this man was so strong that she couldn’t restrain the single sob from ripping out of her mouth. Now, she couldn’t stop the light tears now gathering along her eyelashes, threatening to obscure her vision. Sakura hugged herself as Gaara reached out to wipe the tears away. He was so tender and considerate. She felt like she was going to break from his kindness. It was good. But it was also torture.

Even after his outbursts and stubbornness to keep her in the dark, she couldn’t begrudge him forgiveness.

Sakura sniffed and leaned into his touch lightly, even as she was unable to bring herself to look at him. He cupped her cheek for a few moments, just holding his hand still against her before slowly wiping at her eyes again. When he removed his hand completely, it wasn’t done hastily or roughly. She didn’t feel rejected. She felt calmer. More in control.

“Sakura… I…”

What could he say? She didn’t know.

“Let’s go on that date.”

But apparently, he does.

She started, looking up at him in surprise. That came out of nowhere. But to be fair, it was something they’d already talked about. Once she got over the initial shock, Sakura found herself smiling her way through the mild panic at the thought of officially dating him.

“Now?”

He nodded.

“It’s a bit late.”

Gaara smiled wryly. “I don’t sleep much, and you don’t… have to go to the wedding planner tomorrow.”

That was true. It was officially her day off. She’d planned to spend it in the training grounds and also use some of that time to hone her ink crafting skills again. Sakura no longer felt the compulsion to escape Suna, though a deep seeded feeling of unease from merely being in Suna still ate at her. Everything she did now was just to pass the time, out of habit, or necessity. But this… yeah, she wanted to change things up a bit.

“O-okay.” She cleared her throat. “Yes. Let’s… uh,” she blushed, “go on that date.”

Gaara must have been thinking about this more than she realised. He rattled off a few ideas, all of which she could picture being interrupted and annoyed by the ever-present Root shadow in her wake. But several of the ideas sounded like they might just be in a no-go zone for her stalker.

Only one way to find out.

And it was a shame her mirage couldn’t be kept out of things as easily.

Sakura realised, as Gaara tentatively explained how this place and that place were in high security areas and had amazing views of the village, that of course the Shadow wasn’t allowed in all areas of Suna. She could’ve slapped herself for not thinking of it earlier. It was even likely he wasn’t allowed anywhere near Suna’s shinobi academy. All of this must have been covered back when they’d arrived and Baki had run down official rules to them both. She hadn’t been paying attention back then.

So many places I could’ve lost him in. Buried him, more like.

“Something casual,” Gaara was saying, bringing Sakura’s attention back to their impending date. Were they just going somewhere casual? Or was he talking about their relationship? Or maybe what they were going to wear? Well, there wasn’t anything casual about being engaged. It was still a farce, but it no longer felt trivial to her.

Okay, she could do this. She cleared her throat. “Yes, casual.”

Was that a smirk?

“We’ll need somewhere with food,” she added, ignoring the flush that his smirk had invoked along her body. They were both acutely aware neither of them had eaten their dinner. But Sakura didn’t want some homemade food for this. “Or money to buy some.”

“There are a number of acceptable vendors open this time of night.”

“Right.”

“I asked you out,” he said, his face tinging pink. “I will pay any and all fees.”

She wasn’t going to argue with that, since she was flat broke. It wasn’t like Danzo cared to pay her for any of her missions. She inwardly scoffed at the notion. The only things she owned were from before his takeover or what she’d managed to steal over the years. She would have to go through the clothes in the wardrobe in her bedroom. Again. At least there more options to choose from now, since both Matsuri and Yukata had made a point of restocking that threadbare closet.

“And I’ll change into something less... I mean more comfortable.” She spluttered. “I mean something casual.” She bit her lip in embarrassment. They were a pair of tomatoes. “Meet you back here in fifteen?”

Gaara nodded, his smile infectious as she returned it before turning on the spot and leaving him alone on the roof. She hadn’t even thought to ask him to use his sand, perhaps because she was still subconsciously remembering the ink creatures. They needed to be dealt with first, before she went anywhere.

Gaara will wait.

She knew he would.

.:.

The night was alive with the sounds and lights that made up the heart of Suna.

And the hounding footsteps of her eternal stalker. The closer they moved towards the lights and sounds, the further the Root retreated into the shadows. It faded into the background but refused to disappear completely. She would not turn her head to give it the attention it craved.

Instead, Sakura took in the sights and sounds, feeling like a proper tourist for the first time in her life. Gaara took her down a small path that led from the Kazekage mansion to the larger maze of interconnected paths to the thoroughfare of the village. From this narrow road, all other paths diverged. And his chosen path opened up into a lively and festival area.

There was no official looking celebration or staged performance, but the atmosphere had a similar ambience to them both. And the people were in merriment as though there really was a carnival going on. Sakura wondered if this was a new thing, because of the tensions of the Cold War and people just wanting to forget for a time, or if Suna had always occasionally held large-scaled revelries. Civilians behind the walls of any village, hidden and safer than most, couldn’t understand what it was really like out there, surely.

Enough of the doom and gloom.

The Root shadow followed as they moved deeper into the edge of the festivities, where the crowd was thinnest, keeping away from the louder groups. Far away. Some people turned to look at them; they recognised Gaara, despite his casual long styled jinbei, but Sakura’s casual shirt and trousers would not have screamed her identity more than her shocking pink hair. Even drab, it stood out. Fortunately, the crowd was sparse, having died down from the dinner rush, which meant the menu selections were limited but that suited them just fine.

Sakura tried not to notice how many people there really were. Nor the concerned look on Gaara’s face when he clearly noticed her anxiety. A few vendors sat on the outskirts of this rabble and Gaara steered them towards the first of the street food merchants, his hand on the small of her back. Sakura eyed the yakisoba but ultimately decided on yakitori. Gaara chose the same.

“I cannot take your money, Lord Kazekage,” the flustered merchant waved his hands frantically, when Gaara went to pay for it. “A treat for your lady friend. On the house.”

Sakura inhaled deeply, not wanting to speak for fear of setting off her anxiety. There were enough eyes on her. And the Shadow was ever present, even in the background. She took a deep breath and followed Gaara as he led her to an open dining area that was mostly empty. They sat on the tableless chairs and ate, just enjoying the distantly happy atmosphere and their silent company. It was oddly comfortable.

There was a tradition in Suna, or so Gaara had told her on the walk down the paths to this district. He’d learned about it from his brother. Like bar hopping in Konoha, this was called stall hopping – on dates or festival nights, going from one vendor to the next, buying a single, small portion of food, then moving onto the next vendor to repeat the process. It sounded interesting. Having finished their seasoned chicken, they now had their meat. Their animal protein.

The next stall had to be different. That was the tradition.

With Gaara’s arm pressed lightly and confidently against Sakura’s lower back, they continued to the next stall, which specialised in rice and seaweed as their main ingredients. Here, the vendor owner also refused Gaara’s money and ladled their plates with a serving of Onigiri and a shrimp tempura roll and ushered them to some seats nearby.

Sakura supposed it was good for business too, having the Kazekage seen at their stall.

“No, no, Lord Kazekage! I will not have it!” The third vendor followed the example of the previous ones, refusing Gaara’s money as well.

He was flushed at the intensity of their refusals and Sakura had to hide a smile behind her hand.

“Looks like they like you too much,” she whispered.

“Your lady friend will eat for free too.”

Gaara had clearly never actually done anything like this before. The novelty was something to behold. They both ordered a small bowl of miso soup, and this time chose to sit closer to the stall as they consumed their food. Sakura took the opportunity to study him as he delicately sipped at his miso, not bothering with the seaweed within the soup.

His sharp features made her feel nostalgia for the days when a pretty face would have her bumbling over her words or blushing just thinking about some boy’s eyes on her. She closed her eyes as images of Sasuke glaring at her popped into her mind. Her innocent, naïve days were over.

“They like you too,” Gaara whispered softly, and she looked over to see that he’d finished already. He wasn’t looking at her, but she took comfort from the gentle smile on his lips as he looked out over the scant crowd.

Her heart was hammering in her chest, but she tried to ignore it. She’d never been on a date before but had gossiped in her early years of puberty about all the different ways to go about it and how the boy in question would dote on her. However, none of them had involved stall hopping for a street vendor mixed with Kaiseki styled meals for an on the move dinner.

If only we could have done this without a stalker watching our every move.

She pointedly ignored the mostly invisible monster. When they were done, Sakura wanted the next stall to be a dessert one. Gaara pulled a face at the sweets before him, and Sakura laughed at the way he fake-coughed like it would get him out of helping her choose something.

Gaara turned his nose up at the dumplings and imagawayaki that Sakura had pointed out, making her giggle more like she was a real girl on a date this time. He really didn’t like sweets. There was no fried ice-cream, which she assumed he’d like better, but she convinced him to try some savory senbei. He didn’t flinch at the taste, and she grinned at him like she’d won a prize. His skin flushed a light pink, but he said nothing.

This merchant also refused his money and Sakura found herself comforting Gaara’s obvious unease by rubbing her hand along his lower back. The move surprised them both but except for a moment’s hesitation, she didn’t let it stop her from continuing. Until their food came and she focused on the task of consuming her dumplings without choking from embarrassment.

Their final vendor was a tea stand. This owner was just as impressed by the appearance of the Kazekage and finally, Gaara didn’t bother feeling too awkward about their insistence regarding payment. They took their green tea and decided to stroll out of the district, side by side, arms down, hands brushing against each other every now and then. And like naïve teenagers who’d never done anything romantic before, they wore identical looks of shyness and happiness. It was a great feeling. An unfamiliar feeling, for them both.

“I’m proud of you, Gaara.”

He blinked at her. “I should say the same.”

She smiled as they moved away, the food stalls gave way to a larger area. The food here came in restaurant size, but they bypassed it, keeping to the edge. But all good things do come to an end.

Because I’m a freak.

There was a commotion. Not a violent one by the sounds of it, but it seemed that some people were making a fuss in a crowd nearby. Yelling. Whooping. Drunken noises. Sounds that mimicked festivities that had gotten out of hand. The crowd was larger than Sakura was used to, and she hesitated on the threshold. She closed her eyes for a second to control her breathing, taking a small, unconscious step away from it. Her heart was racing again, her palms sweaty. Gaara stood silently and patiently beside her. He touched her arm softly when it was clear she wasn’t going anywhere.

“Are you okay?”

She couldn’t nod or speak, just trying to focus on her breathing. Her ears were ringing but it came and went quickly. Sakura grasped Gaara’s hand that had touched her, startling him. He took the hint and led her away from it. There were more commotions, but not as loud or out of control this time. The people were just having fun. Sakura didn’t know what had drawn their attention as she was not focusing on anything other than moving her feet and how warm Gaara’s hand felt against her skin.

And as they came to the edge of these newer sounds, she didn’t hesitate. “Let’s have a look.”

“Are you sure?”

He clearly was worried she wouldn’t be able to handle it, and he had reason to. She wasn’t exactly exuding confidence. But Sakura wanted to go down there and just check it out, at least. To find out what had drawn the attention of so many if not the usual things attributed to festivities, like games or fireworks. They didn’t have to stay for long. Just long enough to satisfy her curiosity.

Sakura reached out and entwined their hands before she could stop herself out of embarrassment. “I’ll squeeze your hand when I want to leave.”

He nodded, swallowing heavily and gently squeezing her hand in affirmation.

Okay, then.

Sakura took a deep breath. I can do this.

She’d already endured the inquisitive stares of the scattered people at the street stalls; this was just another step in the right direction. And if she could do all that under the eye of the Root, then she could do anything. It was just another challenge to overcome. And she so desperately wanted to overcome it.

They were recognised of course, and more than one set of eyes drifted to their entwined hands. Her skin felt clammy all of a sudden and a light squeeze from Gaara both set her heart aflutter and calmed her nerves. They only stayed for a few minutes. The lights were bright and the people, laughing and swaying, were loud and friendly. But she’d finally had enough.

Masks.

It was a mask gathering, themed not unlike the Matsuri festival back in Konoha. Not everyone was wearing a mask but there were small groups of impromptu dancers and some scattered musicians. They had the appearance of entertainers who had just come off some kind of travelling troupe but didn’t look out of place. Not like her. Sakura felt underdressed all of a sudden but pushed that anxiety down.

She gently squeezed Gaara’s hand, and he immediately steered them to a path that would lead away from the festivities. Like the interconnected paths she imagined it also led to the thoroughfare. But they didn’t get a chance to use it. There was a cry of something that sounded like frustration and excitement to her right and Sakura stiffened as a clearly very drunk civilian came stumbling as quickly as he could towards them. He made flailing motions with his arms, his face twisted in a grin and nonsensical words on his slurred and unintelligible tongue.

Ugly, rotten teeth. Polished and dangerous.

That peel of laughter wasn’t coming from the drunkard. It was seeping out of the shadows.

Sakura reeled, almost falling over. Gaara held her and she gripped his hand so hard she would’ve broken his sand armour if he’d bothered to wear it. The lights and sounds of the festivities brightened and blinded her. Hazy and screaming. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t ask Gaara for help. She couldn’t do a damn thing.

But true to his promise, Gaara was pulling her to him, flush against his chest. Sand whipped up around them, scaring off the drunkard. Sakura closed her eyes as the Kazekage teleported them away. When her feet hit the ground, she let her head fall forward onto Gaara’s chest. She felt the warmth of his hand on her back as he attempted to soothe her. Face pressed against his chest. Ascending numbers flashing through her mind’s eye. Breathing. Leaning into his embrace. Her body sagged. But she was calming down.

The Shadow is gone.

Sakura lost count of those ascending numbers, not knowing how long it really took for her to come back to herself. But she did. And Gaara moved with her as she pulled away, peering at her. Assessing her. Like he cared. She was learning to love those pale green eyes of his.

Fuck it. Why are you so good to me?

“Why…”

Gaara hushed her as she lost that train of thought. She looked around, realising she did not recognise the area he’d teleported them to. Sakura’s head swivelled around several times as she tried to take in the view. They were in what looked like a forest sanctuary. Or rather the kind of forest that Suna could provide with limited resources. The colour green was everywhere. Gardens. Stone pathways. And a dome nearby that screamed, “there’s a greenhouse inside me!”.

“Where are we?”

“The west gardens,” Gaara said. “This area is out of bounds. Only select individuals are allowed here, and only with my permission.”

More places the Shadow can’t reach.

She felt special. And she loved the place on sight. The foreboding pressure had released, and Sakura suddenly felt lighter than air. “Okay, give me a tour,” she said, not having to force her face to smile.

Gaara nodded, gently taking her hand once more. She soaked it all in as they walked along the path and he explained what she was seeing, in that simple but intelligent way of his. On paper, his words would sound clipped, but they came out so serene and husky that Sakura found herself hypnotised by them.

His voice.

She sighed. They found a bench and she let go of his hand before lowering herself onto it. She felt very nervous as Gaara sat beside her. Inches apart. She couldn’t decide which was worse: the way her libido occasionally went into overdrive around him or her current uncomfortable feeling like she was some virginal teenager who didn’t know how to behave in her own skin.

A shock of light and sound. Sakura whipped her head to the side in time to see an explosion of fireworks. She jumped to her feet quickly and scanned the horizon. Gaara stood and mimicked her pose.

“I forgot about that,” he said slowly, and she understood. This was a rare occurrence. Which meant she didn’t want to miss it.

Sakura took his hand and pulled him along as she raced towards it. Still in the gardens, they found the edge of the gardens that overlooked a significant portion of the village and she let herself fall backwards onto the grass. Gaara chuckled as he lay next to her. They had a great view of the fireworks erupting above the village.

They lay next to each other silently, just watching, leaning back on their elbows, and just enjoying the company. Eventually, the fireworks began to die down and, even though there was no hint of it on the horizon, Sakura was sure the sun wouldn’t be far away.

“Thank-you,” she said softly.

“You’re welcome.”

The stars twinkled. The blackness unable to mask their delight. She smiled at that observation. Sakura wanted to just lay here forever. Forget the Root shadow. Forget Danzo. Forget the council and Sajō and whomever it was that was colluding with the usurper Hokage. She just wanted to lie next to Gaara and forget the world. Or maybe she was more worried about getting too comfortable. The night was very, very late. She suppressed a yawn and had to physically stop herself from just flopping onto her back, in fear she’d fall asleep here and never wake up. Gaara, on the other hand, looked well rested. Or just not tired. Whichever.

She turned her gaze back to the stars. The blinking contrast between sparkles and darkness reminded her suddenly of her ink creatures. The light against the black ink sky. The way they seemed to fight each other for dominance. Yet nothing changed.

For almost a month, Sakura had been trying to find her way. Either a way out of the village or a way out of her own head. A path forward, made of the same stones as the ones in these gardens. And definitely not populated by the noisy nighttime carousers. But now, lying next to Gaara and wondering what this night would mean for their non-relationship, Sakura knew suddenly what to do. It was so very clear now.

She sat up straight and turned to face her fake fiancé turned real date, surprising him. He mirrored her movements, openly curious.

“Gaara,” she said. “I made ink creatures.”

Curiosity turned to confusion on his face. “Creatures?”

“Yes, chakra infused creatures made of ink.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her but remained silent.

“They’re hiding in my bathroom right now,” she added, knowing how weird that sounded.

“Why?”

“Why did I make them or why are they hiding?”

“Both.”

Sakura sighed. “I don’t think it’s a surprise that I didn’t choose to come here. Not under my own volition, anyway.” He nodded. “I… have wanted to leave the moment I arrived.” He didn’t look surprised. “The past few years all I could think of was getting away from Danzo. Especially the last six months, with him sending me on suicide runs.”

Gaara’s eyes widened. “He–”

“Let me get this out, please?”

He nodded again.

She cleared her throat. “I’m an idiot though. Every chance I got to get away, I squandered. Every moment in which I could slip away unseen, I freeze like my life depends on it. On my last mission I almost did leave. I saw the Konoha gate come up as I approached… it was so achingly familiar but alien at the same time. Everything about the Leaf is so… wrong, now. I wanted to get away from it. But I didn’t. Couldn’t bring myself to.” She sighed. “I guess I’m just as useless–”

“Stop.” Gaara scowled at her. “Don’t say that.”

Sakura hadn’t answered his question yet, but he suddenly didn’t seem to care. He rose to his knees and took her hands in his. They were warm and safe and not what she would’ve thought possible. Not for her.

“Sakura…” he trailed off for a moment. “it’s called self-sabotage. People do it to themselves, for years at a time even. It doesn’t make them useless. Or stupid. Or any other thing you’re thinking about yourself right now. None of that is true. I… spoke with a civilian therapist,” he said quickly, and she realised her surprise must’ve registered on her face.

A civilian therapist?

“I know what you’re talking about,” she said. “Its clinical term is Behavioural Dysregulation.”

It was a conscious (or unconscious) habit of doing things that were bad for oneself. It didn’t take a degree in clinical psychology to have heard of it, she supposed. Sakura had done quite a lot of reading on that subject, and similar, before everything went to shit. Lady Tsunade had wanted to begin incorporating mind healing into Konoha’s medical training facility.

Sakura gave a sad smile at that memory.

“Do you think…” Gaara cleared his throat. “You’d talk to one too? About… everything.”

Sakura pulled a face. “I don’t think a civilian would understand.”

The one Tsunade had proposed would’ve included both civilian and ninja therapists, though.

“Right.”

She watched Gaara closely as he released her hands and turned his head away. What he was looking at, she couldn’t tell. But his silence had an air of disappointment and contemplativeness to it.

Well, this sucks.

“I created them to scout out the village.”

He looked at her sharply.

At least he’s looking at me now.

“So, I could see the weakness in the guard patrols and escape.”

“Have you?”

She shook her head. There was no relief on his face, only contemplation. And… was he curious about them?

She decided to presume he was. “You want to see them?”

“I’m curious.”

Sakura flushed. “O-okay.”

They stood quickly and awkwardly. For a moment, neither of them moved, but then the warmth of his hand enveloped hers; his free arm snaking around her waist and holding her tightly. Gaara teleported them directly into her bedroom. Sakura trembled lightly as her feet hit the floor, but whether from nerves or the return of her libido she wasn’t sure. Her skin tingled, so maybe it was excitement. She pulled out of his grip quickly.

“Wait here,” she said and Gaara obeyed. She rushed into the bathroom and low and behold, the bird and snake were still holding onto the carcass.

Snake, she thought. I’ll call the ink snake ‘snake’ and the real, dead one ‘serpent’.

But the question that she needed to answer, and quickly before Gaara grew impatient, was whether or not to bring both. Sakura still wanted to keep secrets from him. She liked him. She trusted him. But she also didn’t trust her faith in him. Some things she just didn’t want to share.

But I told him I made creatures. As in, plural.

She sighed. She could always make more, anyway.

“Let go of the carcass,” she said softly, hoping Gaara didn’t have superhuman hearing. The ink bird released its hold while the snake curled its body for a moment, tightening the hold like a child refusing to behave. Then it was releasing it, dropping the carcass carelessly.

As she stood up, Sakura caught the reflection of herself in the bathroom mirror. It was very different to the underfed and ghastly image she’d seen the last time. She paused then smiled and turned away.

“Come on,” she told them, and the bird hopped along the floor after her. The snake seemed hesitant, and Sakura wondered if maybe she’d done something wrong.

She reached down to grab it, and it quickly wrapped its body around her arm gently as she left the bathroom. The bird twittered as it followed and then screeched at the sight of Gaara. He raised an eyebrow at it. Sakura had no idea it could do that. It didn’t have a syrinx, or any kind of noise making membranes, in its windpipe or otherwise. She wondered if it was just because of her. Sai had never mentioned anything about his creations having the ability to make noise, let alone having personalities.

I’m cracked so they are too.

It made no sense, but she supposed it didn’t matter.

It’s probably all just in my head.

Gaara watched them curiously. Sakura watched him nervously. He made no reaction to the noises the bird was making so she decided it was just all in her head. Even if he did twitch slightly when it went to peck him. Fake birds were not faster than a Kazekage. She decided to give him a rundown of her intentions with the creatures. He listened with rapt attention and Sakura found herself becoming more and more excited that someone was hearing this. Finally. She was rambling but it was kind of fun to have someone else to share this with.

“You used them to scout the village perimeter?” He asked when her rambling finally came to an end.

Sakura nodded, unable to stop the flush from heating up her neck. Was it okay that she’d done that? Probably not. But he didn’t seem put out. Maybe he was thinking about how it could help with that councillor? Or the entire council. Or maybe it was just her wishful thinking.

“What will you do with them now?”

So much for him thinking of this strategically.

“I want to help you.”

Gaara stood and walked over to her. He stopped inches in front of her. The movement could be confused with an attempt to intimidate her, but she knew he wouldn’t do that. Instead of trying to stare her down or talk her out of it, he reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. The small part of her that still responded to romantic and kind gestures was weak at the knees right now. Not the rest of her. Just the girlish side. She swallowed heavily, overwhelmed with gratitude.

“Okay,” he said finally.

“Okay?”

He smiled. “Okay.”

Sakura laughed. “Okay.”

The way he was looking at her… she desperately wanted to kiss him. Or for him to kiss her. But she knew he wouldn’t. Gaara would not presume such a forward action. He was poised. He was a gentleman. But gods did she want him to toss that aside and just fucking snog her. Maybe get in a few gropes and pelvis grinding.

Sakura forced herself to relax, realising she’d tensed up the more she contemplated the idea of Gaara pressing her against the wall. He didn’t look fazed by her weird demeanour. The snake tightened itself around her arm for a moment, but she ignored it. It wasn’t important. Trying to figure out whether or not to grab the Kazekage and pull his face down to meet her in a soul-searing kiss was important.

She cleared her throat.

“It’s late,” he said suddenly. “I should go.”

There was a flush on his face she’d overlooked in her internal musing. She was proud of herself for that. But her stomach clenched at the thought of letting him leave right now. She nodded though. It was very late. They were both going to be sleeping in a little longer in the morning.

All that does is make me wonder what he looks like first thing in the morning. Fuck.

What were the protocols here? Kiss him on the cheek? On the mouth? Make-out heavily then act like it was no big deal? Pepper him with kisses along his jawline, down to his neck and… fuck.

Focus.

Gods. Her libido again. She wanted to give into it so bad. But Gaara wasn’t moving, and she had to make a decision. She decided to just go with a peck on the cheek. It could be excused away much easier. Sakura stood higher to peck his cheek softly but couldn’t bring herself to pull away once her lips touched him. The warmth of his skin, the bright tinging of his ears; he was as excited as she was. That’s what she told herself. Why else would her lips against him make him blush?

Maybe I could…

She took a chance and turned her face towards his. They were closer than they’d ever been, now breathing in each other’s air. Sakura remained on her tiptoes. Gaara lowered his head slightly, but not far enough.

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

When he licked his lips, she knew. Sakura tilted her chin up, angled her head to keep from knocking their noses together and pressed her lips to his softly. Their eyes closed at the same time. She parted her lips to envelop his then tugged on his bottom lip gently before pulling away completely. At the last moment, he’d opened his mouth slightly in a gasp.

No tongues were used in the making of this fucking perfect first kiss.

It was a chaste way to the end the night and despite her body wanting, no demanding more, she maintained their newfound distance, pressing a hand against his chest as they both recovered from it. Gaara had responded to her kiss, albeit in a small way. That was enough. She would continue this with him later, now that she knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him. It was late and she was suddenly very, very tired.

After a few moments, he hastily repeated his goodbyes in that cool but cute bumbling way she’d learned to love and left.

She smiled widely. For the first time for a long time, Sakura could say she was profoundly happy.

.:.

#GaaSaku #fanfiction #my fanfiction #A Beautiful Lie

[trippingonthelight]

Ring Fingers

Eddie Munson x f!reader

This is just a little something about Eddie... and his hands... and what he would like to do with them sometimes...

content warnings: mildly nsfw MILDLY..... cuddling, kissing, eddie being a goof, eddie being a slut, eddie being eddie

The barely there, early morning blue of the sky was just starting to peek through the window screen of Eddie’s bedroom. Lighting up the room just enough to see, but not enough to really wake you up. The smell of incense lingered from the night before. Your clothes and Eddies’ thrown haphazardly across the floor, the chair, his windowsill, wherever they happened to land when they were practically torn off from the night before. You turned from your side where you slept peacefully all night to lay on your back, his arm still caging the small of your waist as he still laid sleeping next to you. You couldn’t help but grin slightly at the sight of him. He acts all tough, but the way he’s cuddled into your side right now and holding you so gently, even in his sleep… that says otherwise.

The memories of this fall with Eddie start to play mind, as they usually do when your mind starts to wander in a free moment.

In August, it was fresh and new. The nervous energy hadn’t worn off yet as your friendship with your fellow Hellfire Club member had turned into something more. Once you joined the club there was always a flirtatious energy between you two, and you quickly became close friends, much to the annoyance of the rest of the D&D party… When the party won its biggest campaign of the semester so far, a bonfire was suggested as a form of celebration (and as an excuse to go party in the woods). One too many beers and catching him staring at you over the flames was all it took for you to finally admit how you felt. You said it first, searching his big brown eyes for any sign of discomfort with what you were saying. How you liked him from the moment you met and how he made you so nervous but in a good way… but you didn’t find any hesitation. Instead, he cut you off with a kiss that made you drop your solo cup right there behind the tree where he pinned you with his firm but gentle grip. You pulled away and he smiled, “I thought you weren’t gonna shut up so I could do that… took ya long enough…” Your laughs echoed through the woods, as they have most days ever since.

In September, the nerves dissipated into excitement. Between classes it was just kisses and stories from the time spent apart (one to two class periods at most) and giggling like little kids… homework got done somewhere in between… When you weren’t in school, being a budding rockstar’s girlfriend wasn’t half bad either. You would always go to the gigs his band played in Hawkins and the little towns surrounding it. Quickly entering the venue bathroom to wash the Xs off your hands, you would come out and head to the side of the stage where Eddie waited with a drink for you. Raising his glass to yours he toasts, “Cheers darling,” complimenting the clink of your glasses with a kiss on your cheek before every show. You never had a boring weekend now, not with Eddie around.

Now it’s October and you’re falling into a rhythm with each other’s lives. It’s still exciting, but in a more comfortable way now that the nerves are gone. So comfortable that for the 3rd weekend in a row you’re waking up at his house. Thankful for his uncle’s work schedule that effectively kept you out of sight. Leaving you and Eddie in your own little world in that tiny trailer park in Hawkins. Coming back to the moment in this soft morning light, you move to try to get up to collect your clothes. But Eddie lightly stirred with a dissatisfied “hmmm” that you figured out roughly translated to “don’t get up…. Please… not yet…”

You smiled and patted his arm lightly, “I know, but I gotta get home before my parents think something’s up…”

“Mmm… lucky for you I covered… you’re mine till band practice at 2…” he snuggles closer, thinking no explanation would be needed. But, feeling your burning gaze, he looked up at you. His deep brown eyes still glazed from sleep as he laid his chin on your stomach, he admits, “Your mama called late last night looking for you. You were already asleep…. I said you went home with Tiffany and I would bring you home tomorrow after you guys hung out. Which wasn’t a lie… she just doesn’t know I’m actually named Tiffany.”

You lightly smack his shoulder as he giggles at your shock. “I can’t believe you!! And when my folks ask to meet Tiffany, what then?”

“Then…” he starts, raising up on his elbows slightly to cage your tummy between his arms and chest, planting a soft kiss above your belly button. “…we’ll worry about it if that happens. Until then, will you please snuggle me back I’m freezing over here with all that cold shoulder you’re giving me…” he stuck out his bottom lip… it took everything you had not to lean up and bite it… so instead you turned on your side and tugged his arm tighter around you. This earned a happy hum from him and he gratefully tangled back up with you. The blanket of sleep settled back easily over the both of you for a couple more hours, giving the sun time to rise up in the sky and gleam in through the window.

He woke you up this time, hearing him move behind you to grab something on his nightstand. Your eyes fluttered open to see his arm stretched out over you, reaching for his Polaroid camera. He catches your eye, “Damn it, was tryin to be quiet…” he feigns the cutest look of shame you’ve ever seen on a face so beautiful, and your smile at him blooms on your cheeks before you can even think to chastise.

You grab on to the arm that reached over you, tugging it closer in to you to examine the device he now held. “Takin pictures?” You ask, blinking up at him with bleary eyes still adjusting to the light. He begins to kiss down your exposed shoulders, into the soft curve of your neck. You would barely hear it if you weren’t enamored with everything he ever said. But against the shell of your ear he says, “maybe, if you wanna be my muse…” punctuated with the most gentle, yet electric kisses to your jawline. All you can do is nod in response. Of course you would be his muse.

There’s moments where Eddie is too sweet for words. When he sweeps you off your feet either literally or metaphorically, and shows you the kind of appreciation you deserve. When you get to return the favor and make sure he knows he’s loved and cared for at any chance you get, and he blushes at your praise and affection.

And then there’s moments like these. Where they’re just to the left of innocent. When he’s doing everything to get you going except the act itself. In these moments, Eddie feels like he has you to only himself out of all the world. This is when he feels it, that closeness. The intimacy of a lover, an admirer, an artist taking in another’s creation. The tenderness only found in these little moments. It’s what he lives for with you. Of course he loves to show you off, but these little private moments, just with you? He never wants them to end. So he decides he doesn’t have to let it…

The first photo he snaps is entirely hideous. The angle is off and you definitely didn’t pose in any provocative way. You chide him for even considering letting it develop, but he laughs and lays it on his windowsill anyway.

“Don’t give up on me just yet. That was a good one but, not what I’m going for…”

The second snap of the camera came after a little more posing, a little arch in your back, the placement of his hand against your hip, his fingertips making the slightest indents in your skin from his gentle grip… the photo develops, capturing your torsos fully pressed against each other, your back against his chest. But he huffs in response. You laugh, “what, bad model?” He shakes his head slowly, “no, no no no, doll… not you..” he plants a small kiss to your forehead. “The photographer can’t get the best angle here… c’mere, let’s try this.”

He sits up, spreading his legs wide enough for you to sit between them, holding a hand out to help you up while the other grips the camera deftly. You try to move into his lap as gracefully as you can while holding the sheet against your bare chest. He notices, and once you settle in his lap, his hand moves from your grasp to the sheet covering your breasts. You look up at him, suddenly feeling more exposed than you ever have to him. Sex was one thing, and the lights were usually off. But taking a risqué Polaroid in the full glow of the morning? That was entirely different. He sees the trepidation in your eyes and smiles, holding the camera out for you to hold. “Here, hold this instead.”

“But Eddie… I-“ you start, but before you could begin to explain any feeling of hesitation, his hands were on your breasts and his chin was nestled in the gentle curve of your neck, comfortable resting on your shoulder.

If you could capture this feeling in a bottle and wear it like perfume, you swear you would be high all day from it. His body, warm and solid against your own… the softness of his hair ticking your back… the roughness of his hands, calloused from many hours of practicing guitar, against the soft skin of your breasts… the electricity of his slightly cool silver rings (the few he absolutely never took off, even in sleep) fluttering against the sensitive flesh of your nipples and sending a pleasing electric shock between your legs… You understood better every day with Eddie just how people got addicted to this feeling…

“Okay now, hold the camera out and raise it up. Just a little babe.. there we go. Right there…” he helps you position the lens in the center of your chest, just far enough away to get you both in frame. He turns his head to whisper in your ear and latch his lips onto that sensitive spot on your neck, that spot that makes you melt for him and only him. “Now shoot…” He says in a deep whisper. You barely register that you took the photo, as he leans in to give a gentle but wet kiss to the spot where he just sucked a fresh, deep-maroon hickey into your skin. A quiet moan escapes your throat, and the Polaroid falls into the sheets. He picks it up and shakes it lightly to get it to develop, grinning like the Cheshire Cat when he starts to see your form appear on the film. “Better this time?” You laugh at his satisfied smile, like he just painted the next great masterpiece. He leaned back down to kiss your neck, trailing his way from your collar bones, to your cheek, finally settling on your lips. He smiles when he kisses, you notice. Interesting…

“oh I’m definitely keeping this one in my wallet…”

#should I write part 2? should I? maybe?? #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader #mildly nsfw? #I think? #god I wish that were me #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fic #stranger things fic #stranger things fluff #stranger things smut

[nikkisixxsgirlfriend]

this must be the place

being one of the byers/hoppers (headcannons)

jonathon

you aways gotta fight him for the bathroom cause he wants to spend twenty minutes on his hair to impress nancy

typical sibling fights including light punching and dramatic fake injuries

will always have your back no matter what

will punch ppl for you

when youre feeling down he'll sit with you and talk

you always catch nancy escaping out of his window and use it as blackmail against him

would give you the shirt off his back

always lends you his music and plays songs he knows you like in the car

will drive you anywhere in that old car,any time of day

will save up his money to get you and will good gifts

not one for hugs or saying i love you on the regular but he'll still accept if you do that

s4 jonathon would tell you to stay away from drugs and then go get high w argyle

argyle is also like a second older brother to you

jonathon makes sure everyone looks after and protects you even if you dont need it

nearly beat steve to a pulp in s1 cause he said something mean about you

teams up with you to glare at mike

isnt the best at school but still tries to help you with your work

will watch obscure artsy movies with you

cooks for your family every day

does not get into sibling fights,like he physically cant get mad at you

threatens each person you go on a date with

will make sure you get enough sleep every night even though he hasnt slept in years

takes photos of you and the rest of the byers

you give him the worst nicknames and that mfer will just sit there and say nothing

will mock any school related parties or activities unless you join them in which case he will be incredibley supportive

joyce

will have jonathon spy on you 24/7

she trusts your judgement in your friends and your dates but is still weary

never lets you come home alone

always supportive

is always there for you

her hugs are like hugging a cloud

always has a huge smile when she sees you

would die for you and your siblings

whispers that youre her favourite and then does that to will and jonathon

the type to take a million photos before your prom

when youre off to like save the world she'll hold your face and hug you and squeeze your cheeks so much its suffocating

is always scared shes gonna lose you guys so she gets terrified when something happens

would beat up a 4yo if they were mean to you

gives you your space when you need it

will let you borrow her clothes

always wants to make sure you're okay

sometimes she'll be up in the middle of the night at the kitchen table and when she sees you she'll make you something hot to drink as you guys talk

works incredibley long hours so she can provide for you guys

would give you the shirt off her back and pants

if you had a cold she would lose her mind tryna take care of you

she isnt the best cook ngl but she'll always try to make you something you guys like

does those excited little mom screams when something good happens

will tell hopper every little detail about you when he comes over

hopper

isnt exactly your dad but also is definitely your dad

will straight up arrest anyone who bothers you

calls every person you date a punk and tries to threaten them

trusts your judgement but it still an overprotective dad

confused about everything but always has the spirit

will let you and your siblings eat absolute trash when joyce is out

will sit with you and tell you stories to calm your nerves

"can i borrow this?" "keep it"

says you cant date till youre 50

if youre going through an emo phase or smth he'll ask you a million questions and still be confused

makes little jokes about everyone with you

will warn you about 'guys like eddie' then when he gets to know them he'll secretly like them

quit alot of his bad habits when he started living with you guys

stops himself in the middle of angry rants and reminds himself to be calm for you guys

will jump in harms way to protect you guys

if youre sick he'll still send you to school with no hesitation

stops before he does anything risky to remind himself of you guys and make sure hes doing this for the right reasons

him and joyce cant go a day without being around you guys

murray ends up being your weird conspiracy theory uncle,and enzo ends up being a 'weirdly hot friend of your dads' according to nancy

teams up with Jonathon to threaten the people you date so you cant leave them alone with your dad or brother,ever

"when i was your age-"

will

will try to stick up for you only to end up getting himself bullied

you always stick up for him

youre always talking to him tryna comfort him

you are there 24/7 for this boi

hes always drawing stuff for you

and will annoy you to no end about his dorky fantasy stuff

tries to teach you dnd

cannot cook.like absolutely has no skill in the kitchen

is painfully uncoordinated and you try to stifle your laughs when he trips for the fifth time that day

you try to help him understand his feelings because quite frankly he doesnt understand them himself

loves you more than everyone else because you treat him normally

you call him a nerd and he calls you a whale,the daily routine.

you give him your own music reccomendations

you always make fun of his haircut and he proceeds to violate you with insults

he'll wear your clothes and then once hes already got them on he'll ask if he can borrow them

you both always make eachother laugh

when hes done being ominous you make fun of his scribble drawings and imitate his posessed moments which earns a scolding from joyce

he will lip sync to every song you play

jonathon will be in the drivers seat looking serious ash and you and Will will be jamming in the backseat

you always listen to his nerdy ramblings and roll your eyes but when christmas or his birthday rolls around you always get him something hes been ranting about

on his birthday you make sure everyone knows.you throw a massive party and invite practically everyone.

if anyones mean to him you and jonathon are prepared for murder a good talking to

you make fun of his crush on mike and he proceeds to steal all of your favourite clothes,forcing you to wear a shirt from when you were nine years old with a cartoon on it to school

he tries to act all grown up when he gets to highschool so you have to act extra childish to make up for it on his part

will give you the food on his plate,but not the shirt off his back cause hes self conscious

always wants to go to amusement parks with your family and every fourth of july he forces you guys outside to watch the fireworks

eventually you and jonathon just bought will the fireworks and every year you guys sit on the porch as him and his dorky friends light em up

jane/eleven

always smiling,no matter what

will tell you all about her day or about a story she heard with this incredible excitement

refuses to eat much else besides eggos

will rummage through your things looking for clothes to wear and leave your room a mess not even knowing

has sleepovers with max every week

one time max left her lipstick and jane used it to draw

thus resulting in you teaching her makeup

you always lend her your music

you teach her new words and lend her your books all the time

she speaks through movies but you dont mind because frankly its adorable

when angela makes fun of her she thinks its some weird way of being friends so you chopped off all of angelas hair

you will and jonathon are always at her side

you compliment her every day

every time she sees you she has this huge smile and waves like crazy

you hug her 24/7 because shes just so precious well minus the murder

you brush and braid her hair every night and she'll tell you about something new she learned

does those word of a day things

she tried making breakfast once,it was bad,real bad but you still ate it all,egg shells and burntness, just because of how happy she looked

you absolutely hate mike because hes a dick to your little sister so hopper and you always try to keep her away from him

she always wants you to paint her nails in the wildest colours

her,will and eddie really get along

but when he played her metallica she had this huge look of confusion on her face "is that really music?"

fav ice cream is mint chocolate chip,shes insane

refuses to let a bad day get to her

cut her hair like that cause "i want to look like joyce"

if you ever swear or use 'slang' she'll repeat what you say with a smile and say it all day earning a laugh from hop and another lecture from joyce

#stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #fanfiction #headcanon #el stranger things #jopper #joyce byers #joyce stranger things #stranger things jonathan #jonathon byers #jane stranger things #jane hopper #will byers #will stranger things #stranger things 4 #el hopper #hopper stranger things

[ellibean-icecream]

Like Tears in the Rain Ch 6 - Than Answers

“Sai. We’ve finally made it. Do you remember me?”

Castti paused at the edge of town, her two companions on either side. She felt a familiar fear bubbling up inside of her, threatening to fill her entirely. The same feeling she’d had each time she pushed herself to remember something from her life before. The helplessness. If she couldn’t find answers – here or in Winterbloom – what hope did she have of finding them within herself.

Her allies had noticed her hesitation. Partitio shifted to her side, resting a hand on her shoulder. His wide grin was already a staple in her life, one she wasn’t sure she’d be able to continue without. “We got your back, Cas. Through thick and thin.”

“Comforting.” She couldn’t help but rib him, even though his words did help to quell her worry. “What could I possibly fear when I have rugged strength to keep me safe.”

“...now ya ain’t gotta be mean about it, Castti.” Partitio feigned pain, pressing his hand to his chest as if she’d buried her hatchet there.

“Was that an ill-tempered comment? Your strength is evident, I had thought, and your prowess with your spear has never been in question.” The western warrior’s words elicited an immediate reaction from the yellow-coated merchant, causing him to stumble and nearly fall.

“Clearly his balance could use some work.” Castti helped to steady him, giving him a knowing look. “Come, before my nerves get the best of–”

“Help! Someone! Anyone!”

A townswoman stood before them, a frantic look upon her face. Castti was in motion before either of her companions had the chance to react, quickly closing the distance between the two of them.

“My friend is wounded! Someone, help him!”

Another townsperson responded before Castti reached the panicked woman, both of them turning and running off. Two townsfolk shook their heads, muttering slightly to themselves.

They seemed to know the source of this commotion, so she shifted to their side as her companions caught up. “May I ask what’s going on?”

“Fighting, lady.” Castti bristled slightly at his dismissive tone, but didn’t interrupt; Partitio’s brows furrowed, seeming just as annoyed. “With the soldiers of the town over yonder. Folk living in this town are outsiders. Immigrants. We don’t have much to live off of.”

Castti nodded as they explained their plight, digging in her bag for herbs she would need shortly. Fighting meant open wounds; she’d need purebalm to cleanse them before she could stitch them up. She took stock of her inventory, pulling out her replacement medical log. She jotted down a number of herbs and supplies she’d need, tearing the page and handing it to Partitio.

“Meet me at the hospital with these. If you could guide me there, I will see to those who need aid.”  The townsman nodded, quickly leading her to the small hovel that served as the town’s hospital. 

Hospital seemed an over-exaggeration – the structure before her was closer to a tent, the walls made of thick canvas. Only the floor seemed to be permanent, a wooden foundation set in the sands.

Castti pushed through the canvas doors. The smell hit her first, the cloying, iron scent of blood hanging heavily in the air. Half a dozen soldiers lay on mats on the hardwood floor. Three more stood within with no visible injuries. She crossed her arms, a frown crossing her face; they would only get in the way of her care.

“How long’re you slouches plannin’ on lazing around?” One of the soldiers – their leader most likely – spoke up, drawing an angry glare from the overworked apothecary in charge of the patients. “You know the rules. You don’t work, you don’t eat.”

Anger boiled inside Castti, her hand slipping down to her weapon. Hikari, likewise, tensed, his hand at his blade. She forced herself to loosen her grip, gesturing Hikari likewise.

“Master Edmund, please. I’ve only just staunched this man’s wounds.”

“Spare me the sob story, bonemender. A man’s gotta be strong if he wants to make it in this world. Gotta be a provider, y’get me? You don’t work, you don’t eat. No excuses.”

Castti was beginning to rethink waving the swordsman off, ire burning deep inside her. She pushed her resentment down, banishing the thoughts of violence from her mind. Further blooshed would do more harm than good. She stepped forward, clearing her throat. “Excuse me, but if I may intrude?”

“Haven’t seen you around here before. You got a problem with me, speak up.” She caught sight of Hikari sizing up one of the other soldiers, his hand resting on the hilt of his blade.

“Injuries need time to heal. He cannot work in his condition. He requires rest now. Exertion will cause his wounds to reopen, putting his very life at risk.”

The soldier was barely able to murmur a protest at his captain, who snorted derisively. “Worthless. This is a waste of time. Listen up, all of you! You got backbone, you come with me!”

The dour warrior pressed forward, catching Castti with his arm and pushing her aside. Hikari bared the first inch of his blade in threat, meeting his eyes and staring him down, waiting on her command. “Outta my way, bonemender. Don’t bother me unless you can hold a sword. Like your friend here.”

The other uninjured soldiers followed his exit. Hikari sheathed his blade, nodding to her as she turned to speak to her fellow apothecary. The soldiers on the ground let out pained noises, catching their attention. They were still suffering, waiting to be treated by the overworked apothecary. Castti stepped closer to her, hoping to see her treatment notes.

“Thank you for before, miss..?”

Castti smiled slightly, her eyes drifting over her, taking in her appearance. Her fellow practitioner stood just a few inches shorter than her, her long, dark hair pulled into a practical bun much like her own. Her exhaustion was evident, dark bags formed under her eyes; her hands were shaking slightly, even as they spoke. She had a caring fire kindled behind her beautiful eyes.

Castti found herself transfixed, an all too familiar blush spreading across her face. She tried her best to banish those distracting thoughts.

“C-Castti. I’m a traveling apothecary. May I offer my assistance?” Smooth as always. She was suddenly glad Partitio had yet to return.

“Mao. It would be most welcome. There’s more hurts here than I can tend alone.”

Castti nodded, kneeling to help the patient adjacent to Mao; as soon as Partitio returned, she set her two companions to simpler tasks. Preparing bandages, fetching water, keeping the simple hospital tidy as they worked.

New chapter for my fic, available on Ao3! One of my fics at least. Give me a shout and let me know what you think as I spread my gay mess Castti agenda to the four corners of the world.

#octopath 2 #octopath traveler 2 #octopath fic #octopath 2 fic #octopath 2 fanfic #rest on ao3 #ao3fic #castti octopath #castti florenz #octopath castti #partitio yellowil #hikari ku

[adventures-of-the-creeping-bam]

NEVER SPLIT THE PARTY: THE ADVENTURES OF THE CREEPING BAM,  BOOK FOUR: THE HUNT - CHAPTER 9

If you’re new to the story, please go check out Book 1 first …

Boof 4 Chapter 1 is here …

IMPORTANT:  Please note this story includes content that may be considered mature, such as moderate battle violence, some strong language and occasional mild sexual scenes.

If you want to support my writing, feel free to swing by my Patreon or Ko-fi.

CHAPTER NINE:  ART

I stop before knocking on the door, my nerves just fail me for a long beat and I have to take a step back, wringing my paws fretfully, before turning back and taking a deep breath, working on summoning the guts to do this after all.  What Kesla’s having to do right now is so much worse, I know it, I told her I would be up for doing this instead of her, and I can’t let her down.  I gotta man up.  So I ball the fist and raise it, only hesitating for a moment before knocking, standing up straight as I wait.

It rakes a few moments for the door to open, but then I’m not really all that surprised.  Tulen’s been right through it over the past night, and she’s likely not had much chance to rest since, despite getting run even more ragged at the Vezrim estate.  I got a look at her when they first brought her in after they all got back, she was barely conscious and bleeding profusely from her nose and eyes and even coughing up odd mouthfuls while Shul tried to hold her up enough to just get her to one o’ the beds.  It didn’t take the two healers who snapped to it to help her more’n ten minutes to get her awake and sat up again, but she looked proper fucking miserable all the same, like she had the mother of all headaches from some kinda vicious backlash.  So they just helped her out the room to join Sessa, who’d been moved into one o’ the recovery rooms down the hall, and we ain’t seen either of ‘em since.  Honestly, I feel a proper bastard calling on her in the first place, I’d much rather just let ‘er sleep after that.

Certainly she don’t look much better when she pokes her head out, mostly she looks worn thin and ready to drop.  She blinks down at me for a few moments, like she’s fighting to focus, and I wonder if maybe I just woke her up again as she’d finally managed to nod off, and it makes me feel worse to think that might be it.  Damn it … then she tries a smile that pretty much entirely fails to materialise, and when she speaks it’s more of a sigh than actual words.  “Hey … are you all right?”

Wow … I’m a moment answering for that.  “What … am I all right?  I’m so sorry I disturbed you, clearly.  We just wanted … um …”

“We?”  She frowns over my head now as she casts about, like she’s looking for phantoms accompanying me, maybe.  “But it’s just –”

“Kesla wanted to make sure you were all right.  You and … well, after we got back and you both just disappeared, we didn’t get a chance to …”  I growl at myself, having to grit my teeth as I rethink my words.  “Um … how is she?  Sessa?”

“Oh …”  She looks down, and for a beat I think she might be about to start crying after all.  “She’s … well she’s still out.  But they told me she’s finally started responding to the healing spells, which was good.  They just had to … had to cut away the …”  Her voice is starting to break after all.  “The rot … in her arm …”

To hell with it … I step forward into the doorway and just give her a hug after all, wrapping my arms tight as I can round her back and pressing my cheek into her chest.  Trying really hard not to think the thoughts that that small part o’ me starts having as I realise what I’m actually getting half a face-full of.  This really ain’t the time, she’s clearly still suffering an’ I really don’t wanna make her even more uncomfortable.

Thankfully, she don’t quite burst into tears like I kinda expected, instead simply responding to my hug after a few awkward, stiff moments and returning the embrace, tilting somewhat so the can rest her chin on my crown.  Her silken hair tumbles into my face and it’s cool and soft, and it just feels real nice with everything else.

Finally she pulls away, and when she reaches up to brush her cheek I see she started weeping a little after all, but has it under control.  After a beat she beckons me after as she starts to withdraw into the room proper.  “Come in.  Please.”

As she turns away she’s belting up her flannel robe, and I finally realise that she’s stripped right down to a simple linen slip underneath and I was slow noticing that’s all she’s actually wearing.  Fuck, I really did get her up, clearly.  My face grows hotter than it already was from accidentally sticking my face into her cleavage and I have to take a deep breath as I follow her inside, remembering to close the door behind me.  She’s already making for the bed, reaching up now to try straightening her hair, which has been entirely unfurled again, an incredibly striking cascade of tumbling pewter waves.

“How is Kesla?  After that fall, along with Shay, I mean –”

“She’s a little stiff and sore still, but all right.  She wanted to come see you right after … well, what she had to do, but I figured it might be a bit much for her to do both, and I wanted to see how you guys were myself.  Cuz I got to really like you this past week or so.”  This has her looking back at me, blinking in surprise just short of the bed, seeming a little lost now.  “I mean as friends, obviously.  I know I behave like I’m … but I’m not, not really … I mean I get it, you got …”

Nodding, Tulen manages an easier, more honest smile this time as she settles down on the edge of the bed.  Awful sad still, but a smile all the same.  “Yes. I do.  And I’m … Minerva, I’m so glad she’s all right … well, not all right, but … that she’s …”

“That’s great.”  I interrupt her mostly for her own good, wanting to distract her as I step the rest of the way into the room, making for the chair set out beside the bed.  “She deserves you.  She seems like an absolute sweetheart, and she clearly means a lot to you.”

Tulen turns to look down at the slumbering shape heavily bundled in blankets and quilts in the bed behind her.  About all I can really see is a spill of unruly black curls over the top of the covers, but I know this is Sessa, still heavily drugged by the clerics’ sleeping potion while their healing magic continues to work on her.  “She means the world to me.”

Settling into the chair, I let a heavy sigh out as I lean back into the thick, soft, richly upholstered cushions.  “Yeah, I get that.  I been there myself.”

After a beat, she responds, looking back at me with a much more thoughtful expression now.  “How is Darwyn?”

“Pissed off, mostly.”  I can’t help a slightly rueful half-grin at the thought.  “It’s pretty typical of her, really.  She damn near gets herself killed up there, and her shoulder was a bloody mess, but once they had the wound closed again and she was starting to mend she was mostly just angry at herself for it happening in the first place.  And a bit at me too.”

“Why you?”  She arches her brows in surprise.

“Cuz I was there.  And cuz she always blames me.  It’s just the way she is.”  I shrug, but while my grin fades, the smile itself remains.  “It drives me round the bend, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

She frowns, just a little, her look still critical.  “You still love her.”

“Don’t reckon I’ll ever stop loving her.  Not after what we had.  Not to mention what we still got.  If you will.”

“You mean Vanna?”

“Yeah.”  I nod, smoothing my paws over the plush velvet lining the chair’s arms.  “She’s gonna bind us both forever, whether we’re still together or not.  She’s something special.”

“Yes, she is.  I thought she was absolutely amazing.  She’s so cute.  The way she knew right away I was a wizard, she just took one look at me and, well, you remember what she said.”

That makes me smile, remembering the other night.  “She asked if you could do some fancy magic for her, right there.  Cuz Toyah don’t want her to think it’s something just anybody can do, which is why she don’t do it all the time, just on special occasions.”

Tulen’s smile grows now.  “And then she asked me if perhaps she might be able to be a wizard someday.”

This time I chuckle, I can’t help it.  “Gods, wouldn’t that be something.  My own little girl, a wizard.”

“Anything’s possible.”  She’s growing wistful again, looks like.  “You never know.”

For a few moments we just sit facing each other, Tulen slowly rearranging the lie of her robe before crossing her arms lightly.  Not so much to shield herself from my gaze, just getting comfortable.  Even so, she’s starting to look a little worn again, or at least it’s starting to show again, as the mood shifts.

“Maybe I should go.  You need the rest.  After what happened --”

“No!”  She seems even more surprised than I am at the suddenness of her response, the urgency of her tone.  “Oh … sorry.  No, I … no, I’m all right.  You made the effort, the least I can do is be a good host.”

Shrugging, I shift about a little to try an’ sit up a little again.  Gods … why do these bloody cushy chairs always have to be so damn hungry?  “Fair enough, I guess you’re right.  I’m just … well, it was a rough night for all of us, but you especially.”

She don’t reply to that, she just nods, turning enough to look sidelong at Sessa again, and her wistfulness turns a little more bitter.  Finally she lets a little sigh go and lets her arms open out again, instead lacing her fingers together tight like she’s planning on wringing her hands some.  “So, um … Kesla … you said she had other business while you were doing this?”

“Yeah … I did …”  I almost blanche instead of responding, her observation and probing question together enough to set my nerves on edge.  “Yeah … shit.  She went to see how Lady Thura and her children are.  After the clerics finished checking ‘em over they got moved into a couple guest rooms so they could have some … well, y’now, peace an’ quiet.  Sort of.  I mean, after what happened …”

“Derion …”  she sighs, looking genuinely forlorn now, and I sympathise so much.  That kid was so full of life, he didn’t deserve what happened.  “I can … only imagine what they’re going through.  I mean, I doesn’t begin to … um …”  She falters, again looking back at Sessa’s largely hidden form, and her lip starts to wobble.  I know she’s starting to think about what almost happened to her own most precious person.

“No, I get it.  I had a little scare o’ my own in there.”  Shit, I regret it the moment I say it, it sounds so inadequate considering how lucky Darwyn was.  It was nasty at the time, it’s a damn good thing we got her back quick as we did and the clerics were able to help her, all she’s gonna have is just one hell of a scar, but … I did go through it at the time, it scared the hell outta me.  Just the thought of losing her like that, or worse, Vanna losing her mother …

It hit me hard enough that I didn’t even realise a much bigger tragedy even than the one Sessa’s suffered through had befallen Lady Thura.  I mean she’s going through the worst thing that can ever happen to a parent.  I’ve heard it said before, it’s a special kind of torment for a mother to lose her child.  Suddenly, now I know I got a daughter, I’m starting to get an inkling of what that must be like, and I hate it.

“Yeah …” I finally manage to sigh  “She … Lady Thura … um … I know she’s a special kinda tough, cuz she’s like Kesla, and she don’t break easy, but …”  I have to suck in a steadying breath in order to continue.  “Oh … yeah, I’m sure she’s suffering right now.  I knew Kesla was gonna have a hard enough time being there for her through that, so …”

“Of course.  I understand.”  Tulen looks down at her tightly locked hands for a long beat, her frown deep again.  “You were right to offer, then.  And I appreciate you making the effort, too.”  She looks up, and while she can’t smile, she’s still sad, there’s some warmth in her expression all the same.  “I am glad you came, Art.  You’re a good friend, and I’m honoured to count you as one of mine too.”

“Oh, yeah.  ‘Course you can.”  I nod, trying a smile that feels flimsy but honest, at least.  “You come through for us so many times since this started, almost feels like you’re part o’ the family now.  Much as Gael.”

And there it is, the moment I say that name the mood in the room turns again.  My heart starts to hurt right after I speak, and again I see it reflected in Tulen’s eyes.  She tightens her grip immediately, not enough to hurt herself, but I see her knuckles whiten all the same, and her lips thin somewhat as she looks away for a beat.  “I’m so scared for them, Art.  It’s been too long, and after what happened to Lady Thura, and Lord Wralin, and Madame Daste … I have terrible fear that something awful and irreparable has happened to them too …”

“No, I won’t believe that, I can’t.”  I sit forward now, struggling out of the great floppy suction of the cushions as forcefully as I can so I can rest my wrist on my knees, clasping my own paws together now too.  “They have to be all right, just like Darion must be.  I mean … well, Vandryss may be an evil bitch, but she clearly ain’t stupid.  There’s no way she’d just kill either of ‘em, they’re too valuable.  So … I mean it makes no sense otherwise.  Gael’s gotta be all right.  Or at least …”  I’m thoroughly ringing my paws now, glaring down at ‘em with my face tight and a deep cold, leaden anger seething in me.  “Fuck, I just hope they’re okay.  I have to believe it, cuz otherwise …”

I don’t even realise she’s gotten up until she drops to her knees right in front of me, taking hold of my paws in her much more delicate, long-fingered hands.  She’s so dextrous with them, despite those long claws, but then I imagine she’s spent her whole life learning to compensate.  When I look up into her eyes, I see her expression’s softened again, full of concern now, but a little shrewdness too, which gives me pause.  “It’s okay, Art.  I mean … yes, I’m sure you’re right.  And I understand, they really do mean so much to you.  Like how I feel about Sessa, I think.”

“What’re you …”  I have to frown at that.  “I dunno what you … they’re my friend, I care about ‘em a whole lot, yeah.  I’m scared to death for ‘em, same as I would be if it was Kesla, or –”

“No, I don’t think it is the same.  Art, I’ve kind of noticed you’re being wilfully dense when it comes to Gael, that you feel something more for them than you think you do.  Something closer to what you’ve clearly got with Darwyn, or I think perhaps what you had with her before.  Certainly it’s not much like the admittedly very sweet harmless flirtatious thing you’ve had going on with me since we met.  With Gael it feels much more genuine.”

Before I start protesting my ignorance, I stop short, almost inclined to just sit back and consider it as I go over it in my head.  I mean … honestly, I never really thought about this, not seriously, I mean sure I looked, Gael is cute as hell and smart as a whip and incredibly sweet, I can’t help liking ‘em a whole lot, but surely that’s just a real close friendship.  Except …

No, once I proper think about it, I start remembering that conversation I had with Kesla, back in the mountains, when she hinted she might’ve been thinking along similar lines to where Tulen’s leading.  And she ain’t alone, just a few days ago seemed like Shay’d picked up on the same thing, she was just more blunt about it.  Now I’m starting to wonder if any o’ the others have noticed.  If maybe Darwyn has too, I mean she knows me better’n just about anybody …

‘Cause maybe they’re right.  Maybe I have been thinking about Gael more’n just a friend.  Not just simple attraction, the way I am with so many people, either casual acquaintances or closer, where I notice ‘em, sure, maybe I even flirt a little if it’s strong, but it rarely goes beyond that.  But with Gael, it feels … different.  It feels deeper.  Like I really want them in my life, and the thought of not having ‘em in it hurts more’n I can bear.  Once I make that connection I realise Tulen really might be onto something, cuz it really does feel a whole lot like what I had with Darwyn, once upon a time.

My frown grows deeper as I look up again, seeing her watching me closely now, even more critical than before.  “Shit … you may be right, but … no, I can’t really.  I mean, there’s no way they’d … I mean, I’m definitely not their type, surely.  They gotta want something way classier’n me.”

Tulen smiles again, and it’s not so sad this time, like what I said genuinely amused her.  “Freya … you’re a bit of an idiot sometimes, I think.  Not in a bad way, of course.  But … honestly, I can’t see why they wouldn’t like you.  You’re sweet, and you’re kind, and you’re loyal to a fault.  And you make me laugh, which is definitely a bonus.”  She sighs, letting go of my paws at last as she sits back on her haunches now.  “Really, I’m not sure what they actually think.  To tell the truth I’m not even sure they have a type.  I never really had much of any indication when she was still in Bavat.”

“What, never?  Not once?”

She frowns again, cocking her head some as she looks up at me again, and considers for a moment.  Then she stands up, taking a few careful steps back before finally perching on the edge of the bed again, taking a moment to make sure she’s comfortable before continuing.  “Well … maybe once.”

I lean a little further forward now, I can’t help it, I’m intrigued.  Maybe part of it’s simply curiosity, the chance for a little gossip about my close friend, but … no, more like it’s self-interest winning through, the need to know about a potential rival, maybe.  I hold my tongue, not wanting her to clam up after all if I push, and just wait for her to continue.

I’m sure she picks up on my interest clear enough, I’m not even trying to hide it.  For a moment I think she might hold her tongue after all, but finally, after looking over her shoulder to check on Sessa again, she simply lets out another little sigh before starting.  “There was a group of us, back in the Academy, when we were still just students.  We were close, thick as thieves, I think is how you say it?”

“Yeah, something like that.”  I nod along.

“We looked out for each other, all the time.  Had each other’s backs, picked each other up when we were down.  We were very much like a family, and very much like what you all have here, with your group.  Sessa and I were the only ones who became something more than just friends, but … well, for a time there, I thought Gael might have developed stronger feelings for one of the others.”

My mind immediately goes to Jathran, who accompanied us here from Bavat, on business alongside Master Saxiros.  I’ve only run into him once since myself, so I ain’t really gotten to know him more’n enough to greet him in passing, but he seems real pleasant so far as I can tell.  He’s certainly handsome, and very tall, with good broad shoulders.  And he’s kind, and forthright, which I get the impression are qualities that Gael holds in very high regard, more so even than his obvious intelligence, I reckon.  Honestly, I can definitely see the appeal myself, I’ll admit I checked him out more’n once myself when we came over together.  I clear my throat, and try to sound as casual as I can.  “Really?  Good friend then, was he?”

If it convinces her I’d be real surprised, I sure wouldn’t have bought it.  “Yes, very much so.  Lorth.  After graduation, he went into public service like Gael, but then he was certainly very well suited to it.  He was easily the best of us in training when it came to combat, either with a weapon or just his hands, or turning magic to his own defence.  Indeed it seemed to come quite easily to him, as if he had a real natural talent for it.  Like Kesla.”

Crap … yeah, I can just imagine him, now.  He’s probably tall and broad across the shoulders, but in a more lean and lithe way than Jathran, built for speed and agility like a prowler, maybe.  Prob’ly dark an’ dashing, with an easy smile and a sparkle in his eye.  The type I’d be hard pressed to decide whether I hated his guts or just wanted to shag him.  Yeah, I probably wouldn’t have a chance against him in winning Gael’s affections …

“So he’s a big strapping lad, then?”

“Not particularly.  No taller than Gael, really, and lean.  But he can move when he needs to.  Very quick with a sword.”  She smiles now, but it’s with a fondness rather than any hint of something more … I don’t know, I really can’t imagine Tulen being capable of anything salacious, to tell the truth.  “And yes, Art, to answer the question you’re not asking, he is very handsome.  I’m sure you’d find him attractive too, I dare say.”

I give her a sour look at that, which just makes her smile grow.  “Great.  So they like a pretty face, then?”

“Oh no, it wasn’t that at all.  Lorth was just … well, it was a complicated relationship, really.  On the surface, at least, they’re not really much alike at all.  Lorth was definitely always the most confident of us, he’d be the first to face down the bullies when they tried to mess with one of us, and once they finally got it in their thick heads that they couldn’t beat him that would usually be enough.  He could be pretty cocky sometimes too, a bit like you, really, but with less of the joker about it.  Gael’s always been so much more thoughtful, and it took them time to really find their confidence, especially when we were younger.  At times I think it intimidated them as much as they looked up to it.”

“Yeah, I reckon I could see that.”  I nod.

“But he could be really sweet too, and he was a good, loyal friend.  He always looked out for Gael, and never teased them like the other children sometimes did.  I think his coming from a lowborn family probably had some bearing on that, so he could feel something like what they were going through, the way so many of the others looked down on them for being a half-elf.  I’m their best friend, but … I suppose they’ve always felt more of a kinship to Lorth.”

Sitting back again, mindful of lounging too much in case I wind up getting swamped again but too frustrated to really entirely care, I let out an irritable sigh.  “Sounds like they’re perfect for each other.”

Tulen just watches me for a while, shifting her position so she can tuck her leg up under her, then folding her hands again and laying them in her lap, twiddling her thumbs idly as she considers.  Her expression’s grown thoughtful again, her eyes more guarded.

��I don’t know, I think perhaps they danced around each other for too long before deciding it wasn’t going to work out.  They both had very similar dreams, but all the same that meant they would end up taking separate paths once they left.”  She gives her lover another little sidelong glance.  “Sessa left after graduation the same as them, but at least we’re able to keep in regular contact.  This is the first real time we’ve spent together again since Winterheart, but … I always knew she’d come home within an hour if I called her, work be damned.  Lorth … he’s been much more distant to all of us than Gael since then.”  She sighs.  “He never was one for writing letters, so …”

“Yeah, I get it.  It wouldn’t have worked.”  I rub the back o’ my neck for a few moments, pondering.  “Still, if they did have something once, then …”

“You know, I’ve known Gael about as long as anyone else in my life outside of my actual blood family.  It’s a rare day when I can’t tell what they’re actually thinking.  And it’s clear enough that they do like you too.  Very much, in fact.”

That makes me look up again.  “You think so?”

She full-on grins this time, and with her sharp teeth it makes her mischievous twinkle particularly wicked.  “Freya … you really don’t pay much attention, do you?  Yes, I think so.  It’s quite sweet, really.  I get the impression they’re as clueless about it as you are.”

“They are?  But …”  I frown down at my paws for a long beat, trying to work that out in my head.  I mean … honestly, I’m still trying to come to terms just with the idea that I’m thinking that way, but the possibility that Gael really might be too, that’s just … I really don’t know what to make of that.  It seems so bizarre, I mean I wouldn’t have thought in a million years I would really be their type, they’re way too classy for that, I’m just …

Finally I just blink as I look up at her again, words largely lost to me right now.  “Huh …”

“Please don’t hurt my friend.”  She’s deadly serious now as she stares right at me, eyes boring into mine.  “I mean it.  If you hurt them, I will end you.  I promise you that.”

I’m almost affronted, but I get where they’re coming from, and honestly, I know I’d be the same in her position.  So I put on the softest smile I can muster, and take a breath.  “Sure.  I gotcha.  You don’t gotta worry, my intentions are …”  I can’t help frowning now.  “Actually, I dunno what my intentions are.  Not yet.  It’s still … um …”

“All right, try not to overwork your brain.”  she sighs, folding her arms round herself now as she sits back a little, settling into a more comfortable position now as she tucks her other leg up under her too.  “I’m willing to believe you have the best intentions for my friend in your heart, at least because I’ve seen what you’re actually like around them.  You really do care very deeply about them, just as much as I do, and I know they’re safe with you, so …”

Letting another sigh go, she kind of shrinks into herself some as her face starts to darken, and she draws her arms tighter around herself.  “Shit …”  When she looks back again her eyes seem … wetter now.  “I guess I forgot …”

Oh yeah … no, I know what she means.  In the moment I s’pose we both did.  I let my own breath out long and heavy, and I can feel myself starting to deflate again as I fight to get myself back into a more upright seated position.  ’Least I ain’t managed to sink too much this time.  “Yeah … reckon we both did.”

“Art, I’m … fuck … I’m so scared for them.  Gael is … I know they can be tough when they have to be, but … I mean they’re still … underneath they’re still … I know they’re not really a warrior.  Not like you, and definitely not like Kesla.  They’re … they’re not really soft, but … but they’re gentle, and they’re sweet, and I don’t want them to be broken … but they’re with that …”  Her face starts to fall, creasing up now as the tears start to come, and her voice is breaking now.  “With that … that …”

Not really thinking about what I’m doing now, I spring from my chair and just pounce onto the space beside her on the bed, wrapping my arms round her as she starts to rock and hugging her to me tight as I dare as she starts to weep.  I keep my voice low, just a soft, breathy purr, soothing and gentle now.  “Shhhh … it’s okay, I promise you, it’s all right.  We’ll get ‘em back.  Kesla’s working on it, the others are all pulling together, we’re gonna get ‘em back.  I know we are.  We have to.”

As she lets her face settle into my shoulder and just lets go, I’m sure the tears she’s shedding now are not just for Gael and the situation they’re in now, but also for what she’s going through herself now, with Sessa and what she went through, what she’s still going through.  So I crush her only as firmly as I dare, knowing that she’s tough as any dragonhalf but still being careful not to break her all the same, she is fragile right now.  Cool as she might’ve been with me just a little while ago …

After a few minutes I hear a snuffling sound next to us, and I look over the best I can to see that Sessa’s starting to shift under her covers, starting to move in her sleep.  There’s a vague, muddled tension in the sounds she’s making, subtle whimpering maybe, like she’s having a bad dream, or maybe she’s responding to Tulen’s own little breakdown.  She doesn’t stir, not yet, but it makes me wonder if she might be starting to.  Honestly, I don’t know how long the drugs are actually s’posed to last.

Tulen finally starts to relax after a few more minutes, likely she just cried herself out.  The worst seems to be behind her, ‘least for now.  I keep her held tight for another minute before finally loosening my grip, letting her just settle into me on her own, and by now her breathing’s smoothing out again.  I give her back a long but soft, comforting rub, humming something kinda tuneless under my breath now, not really thinking too much about what I’m doing now, just wanting to calm her the rest o’ the way.  Seems to be working well enough.

Finally she raises her hands and starts to push against me, very gently, and I respond immediately, letting go and sitting back just enough to give her some space.  I still stay close as she starts to wipe her eyes, clearing her throat as she takes a big, very wet sounding sniff, before finally just letting out a heavy, somewhat fretful breath.  When she looks up at last, she looks almost angry, but in a guilty way.  Upset with herself, not me.  “Oh … I’m sorry, that was … Minerva, I’m kind of pathetic right now.”

“Fuck no, that’s not it at all, you’re just worried, and you’re recovering.  You got a lot o’ shit to put up with right now, way more’n the rest of us got …”  I shrug, half-heartedly sighing.  “It’s understandable, is all.  I get it.  I mean, I’m going through it too, I just …”

“No, I am sorry.  Here I am feeling sorry for myself and for …”  She winces, again with some clear inward-turned venom, and it hurts a little to see it.  “I didn’t mean to ignore how you guys are feeling.  Gael’s lucky to have all of you.”

For a long beat I’m unsure what to say in response, I’m feeling all kinds of awkward, but finally I just try on a smile that feels real unconvincing, reaching out to lay my hand, very haltingly indeed, on top of her own, and give it a gentle squeeze.  She looks down at it for another moment, almost seeming surprised, then tries a smile of her own, which is definitely mostly just sad and just as awkward as I’m feeling.

Then Sessa suddenly lets out a great rasping gasp, turning over with real suddenness, and starts to moan as she rolls back into her original position.  We both jump, but Tulen’s more on the ball, snatching her hand right out from under mine as she immediately shifts her perch on the bed and turns to her, leaning forward with careful hands as she starts to tend to her lover.  “Sessa?  Sweetie, are you all right?  Come on, baby, please just chill.”  Her voice is soothing, but I sense a sliver of worry in there all the same, needling at her.

For a few moments it seems like she might just have stirred a little, only to slip back under again, but then she lets out another, heavier moan and jolts with more violence, her back seeming to arch this time, like her body’s getting some of its strength back.  There’s still no words coming, but there seemed like there was almost a tone to her cries this time, and it’s clear enough to me now – Sessa’s dreaming.  Whatever it is it’s bad.  No wonder, there.

Feeling like I might be more of a hindrance here now, I step back away from the bed now, letting Tulen shuffle closer so she can reach under the covers and start to scoop the stricken half-orc up in her arms.  Sessa don’t start struggling yet, but she’s squirming all the same, more like she’s just reacting to what’s going on in her head now, and her moans are getting more desperate.  Finally Tulen pulls her into her lap and hugs her close, starting to rock her as she shushes her, but for a few more moments it don’t seem to have any real effect, it’s like the girl’s genuinely fighting her now.  “Oh fuck … Sessa … Sessa, honey, come on!  Please just snap out of it, wake up baby, it’s not real.  Please …”

All of a sudden Sessa jerks hard, damn near breaking right out of Tulen’s desperate embrace, but as she lets out a last winded, awkward snarl she seems to come to, stiffening immediately as she wakes with a start.  Tulen crushes her tighter still, shushing her again, and there’s a charged beat where I think maybe she’s just too far gone, that she don’t recognise the touch, any more’n she’d have any chance of recognising the room she’s in now … but then she starts to focus and when she looks up the first thing she sees is Tulen, scared and hopeful and so full of desperate love, and she stops cold.  Blinking for another few beats, her lips starting to wobble as her eyes glisten with fresh tears, recognition flooding ‘em.

“It’s all right.”  Tulen just keeps rocking her, barely breathing the words, less a whisper than a low hum, but just as gentle.  “I promise you it’s all right, you’re safe, it’s all over.  I promise it is …”

I brush my paws up and back through my mane while letting out a heavy, troubled breath, starting to feel like I’m intruding … just as there’s a knock on the door.  A loud one, too.  It makes me jump, and I hear Sessa squeak a little at it, only to burst into low sobs a beat after and Tulen starts to shush her all over again.

My heart pounding in my chest, I drag a breath back in and look back at Tulen, finding her watching me with quiet shock in her wide eyes while she continues to rock Sessa while she weeps.  “Yeah …”  I breathe in response, finally letting go of my mane as I turn back to the door, still feeling supremely edgy as I take several very careful steps towards it.

As it is I’m momentarily reluctant to actually reach out and open it.  Then there’s another knock, even heavier and more insistent than the last, and I barely manage not to bounce right out my hide this time.  Instead I grit my teeth and steady my nerves, getting pissed at myself as I take the last step and turn the knob, fighting the urge to just tear the door right open and instead doing so with due caution before peering out.

Damn … it’s Yeslee.  No wonder that knocking was so savage.  She frowns down at me, more intense than I’d like, but it’s less suspicion than I maybe expected.  “I smelled you from halfway down the hall.  Didn’t think you’d still be here.  Are you trying to take advantage?”

That just makes me frown, trying hard to stop short o’ full-on glaring.  “Knock it off, Yes.  This ain’t the time.”

She actually arches her brows as she shifts her feet, cocking her head a little as she looks me over.  I just open the door enough to make room, but don’t step out of her way.  “All right, then.”  She steps back, her face returning to its normal state of stoic unreadability, and looks off down the corridor.  Back towards the chapel, maybe?  “Whatever you’re doing, best call it a day.  Something’s up.”

“What is it?”  I step forward now, not quite stepping out but closer to her all the same.  “Trouble?  It’s pretty bad timing if –”

“No.  Probably not.”  Yeslee just steps back again, this time starting to move in the opposite direction she was looking.  “I still have to fetch Kesla.  She needs to be there too.  Thought you should know.”

“Right, so it’s business.”  I start to turn back, then stop, giving her one last look.  “Just wait on me a tick, I’ll be right behind you”

Not bothering to see if she actually waits for me, I turn back to find Tulen still watching me, a more complex look on her face now as she frowns.  Sessa seems to be settling now, at least, but …

“Should I come too?”

After a beat’s consideration I shake my head.  “No, stay with her.  I’ll come back.”

When she nods I manage a half smile in response, then step the rest of the way out the room, closing the door before finally turning back.  Yeslee’s already heading off down the corridor, moving with her usual big, determined strides, and I have to jog to catch up with her before she’s just gone.

TO BE CONTINUED ...

#never split the party #The Creeping Bam #the adventures of the creeping bam #book 4 chapter 9 #original fiction #fantasy fiction #original fantasy fiction