#i just feel like its a weird story to tell

[sunflower-lilac42]

𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 | 𝘭𝘩43 ♔

➪ summary: luke always knows when his girl is sad, and this time it's no exception

➪ warnings: depression, fighting parents, kind of bad family dynamics

➪ word count: 1.6k

➪ file type: fic

➪ sunny's notes: this is so weird because i'm listening to really hype music while editing the sad fics. oh well, i wrote this when i was sad so that's fun. also i reread this and i actually almost cried because i didn't realize how well i portrayed my own emotions in it so that was also fun

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There was something about that time of year that caused her depression to hit its highest level. There were a lot of reasons that could’ve caused it, but there was none that she could say was right. It wasn’t seasonal depression, she had been asked that a plethora of times. It wasn’t a feeling of not being enough, she had been told that by multiple therapists.

She could say it was her parents fighting, her parents’ financial struggles, her brothers' snarky comments about how he couldn’t wait to move out and not deal with their crap anymore. She could say it was her family going to her for every little thing that went wrong, the amount of shit she gets from everyone in the family, the comparison of her to her brothers. It could’ve been a lot of things, but she wasn’t about to pin her depression on her family members, it didn’t seem right. 

Every one of her friends and family knew she had depression, it wasn’t a secret. She felt as if as soon as her parents were told about her diagnosis they couldn’t wait to tell every single soul they knew. She felt like she was a story waiting to be told. She often thought that if she had a kid who acted the same way she did, she would know how to raise them better. 

She hated critiquing her parents and her brothers, but they did it to her, didn’t they? She knew about the multitude of times her parents had gone to talk to her brothers about how she hadn’t been to class in a week, how she looked fine so there was no reason for her not to go. She felt like the little boy who cried wolf, however, for much different reasons. 

She always said she was sick when she felt this feeling looming over her so her parents wouldn’t get worried, and they would let her stay home from school. But then, she would actually get sick and no one would believe her. She was stuck in an endless cycle. 

Luke was worried. He had known about her tendencies to fall into this state of mind and not know what caused it. He knew about her family, the therapists, the psychologists, and the social workers. He knew about the multiple attempts everyone had made to get her to open up, about the amount of times she had screamed in her head at them that she didn’t know. He knew about everything.

It was easy for her to open up to Luke when they first met, he had this unmistakably calming and supportive aurora about him. He had bumped into her one day in freshman year, immediately apologizing for not looking where he was going. She had been on her way to the dining hall while he was on his way back, but he offered to take her there anyway. 

Ever since then, they had been each other’s rock. Luke asked her out two months later and the two were practically inseparable. However, this was the first time he had experienced this side of her. He could tell it was happening just slightly, her face said it all. He wasn’t entirely sure of what to do, she had always told him it was nothing to worry about and it should be better in a couple of days. But it wasn’t.

She wasn’t the best at answering her texts, not wanting to face the fact that she was not doing well. She had been cooped up in her room for almost a week now, usually occupying herself with reading or playing a game on her phone. She wanted to go to class, she wanted to do her work, she wanted to do better but she just couldn’t. 

She stared blankly at her phone as her podcast played through her earbuds. She had seen a text from Luke come through but she didn’t pay much attention to it. She felt bad for not answering, yet another part of her brain just accepted defeat and the fact that he might be mad at her. She had been able to get up and sit at her desk which was a step in the right direction, however she hadn’t done much since she got there. 

She heard a knock on the door, ignoring it at first. When the knocking became more persistent, she sighed and got up. Her, Luke’s, hoodie fell from its original bunched-up place in her lap as she walked over to the door. Her eyes had dark circles around them, her hair was tied messily in the back. She opened it and looked at the person standing on the opposite side of the door.

“Hi.”

Usually, she would’ve been excited to see her boyfriend but at this point, that was what she dreaded most. Her face looked tired as she stared at Luke with blank eyes, “Hi.”

Luke nervously shifted his weight back and forth between his feet at the sound of her voice. It was hoarse from the lack of use, it had unfallen tears caught in it, and it had a hint of harshness laced in it. His mind flooded with thoughts as her voice reached his ears, he hadn’t been expecting it to sound that way.

She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something more but he didn’t. The lack of communication between the two caused them to stand in the doorway for three minutes. Luke’s nervousness and awkwardness were seeping into y/n’s body language as she toyed with her hair and stood with her left foot propped up behind her right leg. 

When they made eye contact, the tension in her body went away and her eyes softened, “You wanna come in?”

He nodded and she stepped back so he could walk in. Instead of going back to where she was previously sitting, she went back and climbed into her bed. The feeling of being able to be vulnerable in Luke’s presence made her want to curl into herself, she didn’t want to be vulnerable right now. She pulled her comforter up to her chin, creating heat around her.

Luke shivered from the moment he stepped into her room, goosebumps rising all over his arms. He sighed when he saw his girlfriend revert to her original space, moving to sit at the edge of her bed. He placed his hand on her calf, the sheets creating a barrier from them touching, “Hi baby.”

Those were the only words that both of them could muster, an awkward tension forming between the two of them for no reason. She just stayed staring at the wall in front of her. He let out a soft sigh at the lack of response and turned his head away from her to collect his thoughts. He wasn’t sure how to approach this, she had told him not to worry about her but he couldn’t help it. 

“What can I do to help?”

She shrugged in response, not giving him her full attention. Luke slowly moved his thumb to start rubbing her calf in circles as a form of comfort. Another moment of silence passed again, and the two slowly started to become more comfortable with each other once again. 

“Luke?”

“Hmm?” 

“Can you lay with me?”

Luke all but jumped onto the opportunity she gave him, slipping his shoes off and climbing in behind her. He wrapped his right arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. It was a mere five seconds before y/n was turning over and burying her head into his chest, “I’m sorry.”

“For what? You haven’t done anything wrong, baby.”

“For not responding, and for being like this.”

Before he had shown up she had hoped he wouldn’t even think about coming over. She hated when people had to see her like this. It wasn’t because of the way she looked but rather the thought that nobody would understand how she felt, that everyone would just complain about her problems.

But Luke was absolutely, positively in love with her. From the moment they met, the way he had been able to make her laugh within two minutes, the way she was able to ramble on about random things to a stranger amazed him. She had him wrapped around her finger since the moment they bumped into each other and there was nothing that would change that. 

He frowned at her words, “Don’t be sorry. You can’t control it.”

“I just wish it would stop sometimes. Move on from me.” He kissed her forehead and held her tighter, feeling angry at the world for doing this to his girl.

“I’m sorry this is happening to you.”

Her fingers went to tangle into his hair, her frowning at his apology. She played with one of the curls that had been sticking out amongst the rest due to its length. Luke calmed down at the feeling and gave her a small smile. It was hard for her to return the action, not having anything to smile about. 

Luke knew that was all he needed to do, just be there for her even if she said she didn’t want him there. Remind her that he would be there to support her through everything, even the parts she didn’t want him to know about. Reassure her that those feelings were common even if he didn’t know what it felt like. Love her as if the world was gonna end tomorrow.

#sunny lune writes #nhl #hockey #nhl hockey #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #luke hughes #lh43 #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes imagine #luke hughes fic

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Furiosa viewing #3 for me last night and I figured something out. I have heard multiple people say that the pacing of the movie felt off or weird or even "slow," even though the plot consistently moves along at a brisk clip. But what people were noticing was not the speed of the story but the structure.

I realized the pacing feels weird because the movie has two third acts.

The overwhelming majority of movies released by Hollywood studios follow a very standardized three-act structure. This is certainly not the only way to structure a film story, but it's the most common one in the Anglophone film world, so common that you have probably absorbed its pattern without even thinking about it. The previous Mad Max movies do generally fit this structure, and Fury Road fits it like, down to the minute.

When we get to the big fight sequence at the Bullet Farm, where we know Jack has prepared everything for Furiosa to leave and they just have to get through this one last mission together, my gut story sense was like this feels like it should be the third act. The fight in the Bullet Farm and the chase with Dementus that ends in Jack's death feels like it should be the climax of the movie. And not just because we are around the two-hour mark at this point, although we are.

In terms of themes and plot arcs and story beats, Jack's death feels like where the movie should end. We start the story with Mary Jabassa telling Furiosa to leave her behind and make it home safe. I'm sure Mary knows she's on a suicide mission at this point, but maybe she can hold off their attackers long enough for her daughter to escape. But Furiosa can't leave her mom behind. So she goes back, and she watches her mom die brutally and gets trapped by Dementus.

Then, at the Bullet Farm, Furiosa has her best chance yet at getting home. She has a fully loaded vehicle, and she's outside the Bullet Farm gates while Jack is stuck inside. Jack, too, tells her to run and save herself. (While it's never spelled out, I'm sure we're supposed to intuit that the green flare means GO.) He probably thinks he's dead either way at this point, but maybe Furiosa can make it out. But once again, she can't do it. She goes back to defend Jack, and we have this little bit of hope of, maybe this time she'll be able to save the person she cares about from being killed by the same warlord who killed her mother. Whether she succeeds or fails, narratively, this feels like it should be the climactic action sequence of the movie.

But there's still another 30 (ish?? I need to watch with a timer) minutes to go after that, in which we have a whole other plot arc of Furiosa getting back to the Citadel, making her prosthetic arm, and going off on her quest to hunt down Dementus. And if this part all feels a bit grueling, it's because your brain expected the movie to end half an hour ago.

(I should pause here to say that you absolutely can write a movie in three-act structure that's longer than 2 hours--you just have to stretch all the pieces out equally or it starts to feel lumpy. And the place where our attention spans are going to be least forgiving of lumpiness is at the end of the movie.)

Well, you might say, maybe Furiosa was just not written with the three-act structure in mind. And that could be true! But I would argue that the oddness of the end of the movie comes primarily from the film not being clear on what narrative question it's trying to answer.

Because an ending that focuses on Furiosa's choice between finally getting home or going back to try to save Jack is addressing the question of, "Do you prioritize saving yourself, or do you fight for the people you love, even if you may end up in a worse situation because of it?"

An ending that follows Furiosa's revenge quest seems to focus more on, "What does seeking revenge do to your humanity?"

Both of these questions are rich territory to be explored in the wasteland, and the other Mad Max movies deal with both of them. But I would argue that the first question is very clearly set up in the beginning of the movie as a thing we expect to be exploring, and the second question, not so much.

I think the story would have benefitted from picking one or the other. And if they wanted to tell a story about the price of revenge, then highlighting this earlier--either by making revenge Furiosa's primary motivation from the beginning, or highlighting it thematically by showing how the quest for revenge warps other characters--would have made the last section of the movie feel more like a payoff and less like a sudden left turn into the desert.

#stay tuned for the alternate ending i wrote in my head last night #i just had to get this piece of it out first #mad max #furiosa #furiosa a mad max saga #story structure #screenwriting

[marigold-hills]

June 8: bubbles | @wolfstarmicrofic | word count: 500

PREVIOUS PART • FIRST PART

cw: use of drugs (magical equivalent of weed)

James and Sirius are laying about James’ bed, hands and legs in disarray, giggling. Above them float iridescent bubbles, the light of the dying day refracting through and emitting distorted rainbows onto the walls.

Each time a bubble bursts it fills the room with sweet-smelling smoke, and the two get another hit and fall into another bout of laughter.

“Pads, Padfoot, Paddy-Pie. You don’t get it. Those eyes,” James sighs so wistfully Sirius worries he’ll inhale too much and float away. It’s a funny thought so Sirius laughs more.

“You’re a masochist, Jamesy-lamb. What were you told? Keep out of my eyesight or I’ll rip out your kidneys?”

“So sweet,” James almost moans through another giggle. “So lovely. I hope you’ll get this one day, Pads. It feels… well it feels a bit like this, actually,” he waves a vague hand around the scented air of the room, “only even better.”

“No thanks, I don’t fancy an impromptu nephrectomy.”

“Nah. That’s not for you. You need someone nice, who’ll take care of you.”

Sirius wraps a hand around the gilded oyster around his neck and thinks of the colour of the eye within it. Thinks of a hand underneath his shirt.

Weird thought, he decides.

“Moony still at the library?”

“That funny swot. He needs more sleep, he does, have you seen the bags under his eyes?”

“Thanks, Prongs,” comes the Moony voice, one of a kind, from behind them, full of laughter. “You truly know how to compliment a guy.”

“Moons!” Sirius rolls forward, an excited dog greeting its favourite person. “My moonage daydream, I have stollen chocolate cake for you from dinner.”

Remus puts a hand on Sirius’ hair, sits on the bed by him. “You have? Always so thoughtful for me.”

“Thoughtful, my arse,” James interjects the moment, “if he were thoughtful, he’d have stolen you actual dinner. Moony, you look about five minutes away from keeling over.”

The hand petting through Sirius’ hair takes out some of the sting from the words, but James is right, isn’t he?

“And you two are high as hippogryphs the night before an exam. That horse isn’t looking very tall, Prongs.”

Remus looks down at where Sirius worked his head into his lap (when did that happen?), eyes soft and lovely. He looks so pretty like this, even with the dark circles under his eyes.

“May I have my cake, mo réalta?”

Sirius tries to stand up to get it, but the hand in his hair keeps him from moving.

“Don’t. Just tell me where it is, please.”

Remus gets his cake and sits back down on the bed, with a gentle hand manoeuvres Sirius’ head back onto his thigh. Rips off a piece of cake with his fingers and feeds it to Sirius. Another bubble bursts somewhere above them, the air becoming almond-sweet.

Suddenly, Sirius is hungry. “This is the best cake I’ve ever tasted.”

James, uncharacteristically quiet, bursts out in almost manic laughter. “That’s the bubbles talking, Padfoot.”

NOTES:

part 8! Of 30 :)

Early morning chapter courtesy of my lack of sleep :)

I kept thinking of bubbles left over in a shower or a bath when deciding what to write for this, but figured that’s too early in the story yet :)

hope everyone has an excellent weekend ❤️

@moon-girl88 @digital-kam @tealeavesandtrash @sweetstarryskies @alltoounwellll @hunnybeemarie @hoje--aqui @annaliza999 @hihimissamericanbi

(let me know if you do/don’t want to be tagged in next parts)

#remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #marauders #dead gay wizards #fanfic #marauders era #remus x sirius #microfiction #wolfstar microfic

[briebysabs]

Vnc OP 1 - Sora to Utsuro

We are here again! I’ll be taking the time to talk of VnC’s first opening and breaking down the lyrics. Specifically in regards to what I will refer to as the dream loop theory. If you don’t know what I mean by that, the base summary is that the VnC universe is a story. Noé is the narrator, the character, the archiver and the creator. Noé is writing the memoires to manifest his memories. Let’s call it a memory world. He does this either to escape his regret-filled reality or to save Vanitas. However, when he “loops”, he doesn’t remember why he’s there so everything plays out the way it was written in the memoires.

Then Noé will live on, write the memoires again, and the cycle continues. And because he’s done this countless times, the memoirs gradually stray away from the original story. I’ll elaborate further when talking about OP 1. Right about now!

This was the main translation I could find for the full song (not including English covers but I could reach the same conclusions for those as well) If anyone has other translations for the whole thing, I’d love to see it. https://youtu.be/G_bJwB1YePw?si=xPVlV3_Fd57S-Bo1

/You’re pondering the simple things, pretty much human emotions and love/

/I hope one day you’ll understand/

/Too many wounds have left you patched together, a miserable sight/

/That doesn’t even know the definition of alive/

It is confirmed that this opening is from Noe’s POV. But keep in mind for the rest of this thread, it’s future Noé speaking. There are two main readings for the song; for the most part it’s Noé talking to or about Vanitas. And then there’s Noé talking to himself. This part has both interpretations.

Noé to Vanitas: Vanitas does struggle to understand his emotions throughout the story, that includes love. Vanitas is a broken individual, has too many wounds/trauma Noé cannot ignore and for a long time, was fueled by getting his “revenge”. Thus he’s forgotten what it means to live. You can also read into “doesn’t know the definition of alive” in a meta sense, from the beginning of the story he’s already dead.

And the very name ‘Vanitas’ is surrounded with the imagery of death, futility and mortality. So yes, Vanitas as a concept doesn’t know what ‘alive’ is.

Noé to himself: Noé as well is trying to figure out human emotions. This is a case study of a human after all. The memoirs follow Noe’s journey in understanding Vanitas’ thinking. And we’ve had Noé blatantly ask Vanitas what love means. But we can read this as Noé , sort of telling his past self that one day he will understand and feel this pain. Take note of “many wounds have left you patched together”. As I said, he could be talking about how “fragile” Vanitas is but what if this is about himself?

/No need to say “just the two of us” or anything/

/I have a feeling we can understand each other/

/And that’s fine for now/

This is calling to the Catacombs Arc, where Vanitas repeats Noe’s line of being able to do anything together. Interesting enough, it’s that arc where we see a bit of Vanitas’ backstory and it ends with the two sitting against each other. An understanding has been reached. Of course we all know that’s what VnC is about but of course he adds the ‘for now’ because what would this show be without its looming doom.

/I love this world and the light only you give me/

/Makes the world I see through these fractured eyes/

/Look gleaming and bright/

It’s these verses that made me want to spend more time on this. First of all, ‘I love this world’, a little weird right? I can only hope this translation is the most accurate but we’re saying ‘this’ instead of ‘the world’. Makes it sound like “I like this one. I prefer this one.” And ‘the light only you give me’ is very odd if we’re saying this is from Noe’s POV. Emphasis on ONLY.

Another reason why I believe it’s future Noé singing because why would present Noé say Vanitas is the only light he has? Vanitas is the only thing keeping him from falling apart. Vanitas being the sole reason Noé loves the world…doesn’t line up with the Noé we’re seeing now. Now it could be Vanitas is a “special” light. But that kinda raises more alarms because Vanitas is very admired in this song guys. And present Noé I feel wouldn’t be so sure in proclaiming this. The world being seen through fractured eyes could be multiple things. We know Noé sustained an injury on his left eye when Teacher bought him.

This could feed into a theory that has been speculated over the years that Noe’s vision was permanently altered and he sees things from that eye differently. Of course, it could refer to future Noe’s perception of life being broken due to the events of the series. Thus why Vanitas is the one thing that makes it gleaming and bright. You could then ask “But Vanitas is gone in the future so how is that possible?” In comes my theory. It’s interesting how Noé is often associated with light, the sun etc. but here we see him give those characteristics to Vanitas’ presence.

/There’s no such thing as a sure thing/

/But you can see me can’t you?/

Things get a little fuzzy here. Obviously, nothing is sure, nothing lasts forever. This period of happiness will pass. But “you can see me”. Assuming this world is a memory, this could be Noé being elated from seeing Vanitas. That his plan has worked. But you can also interpret this, I forgot who pointed it out but ty whoever you are, that this is the one moment Vanitas interjects in the song. Essentially saying, “you can see me, so this is not real.” As if trying to wake Noé up. And if you look at the OP itself, for most of it Vanitas is following or lagging behind Noé like a ghost. There’s even a part where Noé is looking at a drawing of a view instead a real one, Vanitas is yelling at him, trying to get his attention and Noé ignores him completely. Not to mention the OP starts and ends with Noé sleeping, Vanitas nor his belongings ever in the room almost as if it was all a dream hmmm.

You can see this also as Noé acknowledging the world he has created is only temporary. Noé knows this isn’t real, isn’t a sure thing. But then Vanitas comes in to be like “you can see me, can’t you. So is it that bad?”

/I’m pondering the simple things, pretty much emptiness and frigidity/

/One by one lies have increased/

/Playing with a simple puppet/

/My rusted head is shaking/

We’ve contrasted “human emotions and love” with “emptiness and frigidity” here. Frigid here means the bitter cold, stiff, lacking in warmth. The opposite of what Noé says this world gives him so safe guess, he’s talking about the reality he is escaping. Where Vanitas is dead as well as a lot of his friends. The lies have built upon each other, adding to my theory where the numerous times Noé has done this has created layers upon layers of worlds. And each one has more inaccuracies than the last. This is his story, a play, he is the writer and the puppeteer of everyone’s roles. When they appear, what they say and do is decided by what Noé writes in the memoires. But by all the loops he’s made himself a puppet too. His head being rusted could hint at many, many years passing since everything happened. What’s even more interesting is remember, Vanitas is the one usually associated with cold and emptiness. So why is Noé assigning those things to his thoughts? It really shows how future Noé has come to view Vanitas vs himself. Because ignoring any theories or whatever for a second, future Noé is clearly burdened with regrets and hate towards himself.

/Your laughing was reflected by a daydream/

/Without knowing yet we just want to laugh/

/Throw away the answer, whatever you want is fine for now/

We circle back to the dream thing again. What is a daydream? It’s something you fantasize about when you are bored or in need of a distraction. A reflection looks and behaves exactly like you, copies your movements, but is it real? We all know mirrors and reflections play a major role in the story. Whether having mirrors or frames in official art or volume covers. Characters reflecting each other like Vanitas/Astolfo, Domi/Louis, Ruthven/Noé etc. I think the “throw away the answer” is interesting, it could be Noé again knowing what the “right” thing to do is but is desperate to see Vanitas laugh. Feels very much like a “oh forget about all that, what do you wanna do?” Noé putting other people before himself and being selfless to a fault.

/I love this world that lacks everything/

/If the mechanical echoes/

/Everything seems to be laughable/

/I can’t be proud of it/

/But isn’t the burning dream beautiful/

Why would you love a hollow world? This is Noé saying this. How can a world lack everything if it’s meant to be real? Unless it isn’t. Unless it lacks what you truly desire even if you claim to love it regardless. Echoes fall into the same vein as reflections I brought up previously. ‘Mechanical’ implies it’s a machine, tying back to it being empty and hollow. Lacking realness. And it’s funny, Noé says he’s not proud of it. His world, his creation if you will. That it’s laughable even but then goes on to call it beautiful. Think about that for a minute. The dream is burning because Vanitas will always die no matter what Noé does. Everything will go up in flames, it’s only temporary but guess what? To Noé, this fleeting period of happiness is far better than whatever he has left when he wakes up.

/When the sky and the void meet look back because the dreams will come later/

/When the sky and the void meet look back be still in bloom/

/When the sky and the void meet born and die repeatedly/

/The future and lies break and laugh/

We’ll stop here because the song then goes back to the first chorus “I love this world and the light you give me” stuff. This part of the OP I would say is the most vague, you can read this a lot of ways. However you want to interpret it, there is a clear loop going on. We can see “sky and void” as metaphors for Vanitas and Noé. Personally I’d say Noé is the void because of that official art that has Vanitas with a clear sky in the background and Noé is sinking into the darkness. Similar to when he drinks someone’s blood and sees their memories.

But while Vanitas has a few purple butterflies, Noé is given that distinct glowing blue butterfly. Vanitas is Noe’s light. We talk about that art for hours but that's for another day. Plus given how Noé talks in this song, it’s safe to say he sees himself as the void. And once they meet the dreams will come later, to be born and die repeatedly. Meeting could be their actual meeting from chapter one and the cycle/memory world begins from there. It could be wherever fuck they were when Noé failed to grab Vanitas’ hand. The future and lies….what lies? Who my dear readers would be lying to us :000. But eventually that mountain of lies will come tumbling down.

And, no theory just pure delulu I’ve always headcanoned that when Vanitas dies Noé is going to break out laughing. So if that happens the op spoiled it.

#the case study of vanitas #anime #les memoires de vanitas #vanitas no carte #jun mochizuki #vnc #manga #vnc manga #Vanitas #anime opening #vanoé #tumblr #noé archiviste #noe x vanitas #op #fyp #analysis #copied from twt #vanitas no shuki #threads #theories

[theendorisit]

I want to talk about some fun stuff I have had knocking around my head regarding the Magnus archives 

Note: is it Canon? I don’t know and I don’t care. @jonnywaistcoat gave us a bunch of fun toys to play with. I wanna play with them. I am not gonna tell anyone if their opinions on Magnus are right or wrong because it doesn’t matter! it’s a story. It’s fiction. It doesn’t matter if you picture white Archivist, black Archivist, asian Archivist - that’s how we end up with fun stuff like mermaid Tim! Imagine everything, and anything - it doesn’t matter, and that’s the fun of it! Also, I am keenly aware I am (checks watch) 8 years late to this fandom and I may be spouting stuff long since discussed, so forgive me if I am getting excited discovering long trodden ground.

I digress. So. One of the many things I love about Magnus is the fun and very clear metaphors that are used to describe the entities/ fears and what’s going on in the story. One of my favourites is the colour wheel theory. During the show I would get confused between the different entities particularly the stranger and the spiral but if the entities are like colours then this makes perfect sense: they do bleed into each other. So I wanted to try and transcribe these entities onto colours not thinking so much about which particular colour I think they ought to be, but how they complement or clash with each other. Disclaimer, not an artist. At all. I don’t know if I’ll do a good job - but that’s not really what I wanna talk about. 

Death/Terminus/The End isn’t a colour. Death is black-and-white. And death isn’t like any of the others.

This is just to say, that the way I read it - death, as an entity, is treated differently.

Jonny himself said in calls and livestreams that death was actually his main fear, maybe still is? So that might lend itself to different considerations.

In TMA, death is described as the fear of death, dying and nonexistence and all of that cosmological shit that most of us feel. However, TMA stories of death also include the opposite fear which is the fear of not being able to die. This is equivalent to the Eye finding someone who is afraid of being watched and putting them in a box, where no one can ever see them again.  The fact that this person in the pyramid can’t die and wants to, the fact the reapers, in escaping death achieve basic immortality - and often are not so sure they like it - this would be a very weird way to create a fear of death, by creating an apparent desire for it! 

So I think within the universe, this fear is special because it encapsulates itself and its opposite - whereas the other fears have distinct opposites which are separate entities (buried and vast, eye and dark). Not only that, but as season 5 showed us, there are fears that can combine and match with each other, and there’s no fear that death DOESN’T complement!  Like yes, actual death will stop fear, but a healthy dose of the fear of dying will go with everything. So in the colour wheel theory, I say fear of death is black and creates shades with other colours, and fear of not-death is white and creates tints (I just really like this metaphor!).

I’d love to make anthropomorphic art of the entities as individuals, and groups of individuals, based on matching colours. Example - Death, The Buried, The Corruption all work together as a buried alive fear. Unfortunately my fine art skills are dismal, so I’ll let more talented people have a go if they like this idea. I get why I haven’t seen so much of this, as the avatars kind of do this anthropomorphism, but death itself as a concept has been characterised for thousands of years (I am a big fan of Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman’s versions!), and we have 4 (+1?) horsemen of the apocalypse bringing war and pestilence into humanoid form so I reckon it could be pretty interesting how people envision the entities. Personally I imagine the vast like Junji Ito’s Spiral-faced girl (she’ll pull you in!).

Anyway, that’s my perspective on blending fears like colours, and why Death really isn’t like any of the others.

#the magnus archives #magnus pod #jonathan sims #the magnus protocol #tma #tmagp vague #alexander j newall #magnus archives #the magnus pod #the magnus institute #the end #tw death

[fae-morrigan]

Nah because why are you only mentioning Kenan and John Henry when pointing out the racism in the Superfam fandom? I checked their tags on your account. You have next to no posts about just discussing their characters and stories. The only times you mention Nat is to prop up your faves. So don't go acting all mighty and progressive because you also mostly ignore their existence. There is a problem in the Superfam fandom when it comes to poc and how often they get ignored, but bringing those poc only to try and appear better than someone else makes you part of the problem. Unless I'm missing some essays about Kenan's growth from a bully to a hero, what it means for John Henry to be a human hero in a city full of Supers and Nat following her uncle's example on your account, then you are no better than the ones you criticize. You need to get off your high horse and stop mentioning poc only when it's convenient. You are just being performative. It's clear those are characters you don't care about. Such a shame though, all three are really interesting.

Hi Chris Kent fan! I know its you. You've been harassing me and several other of my mutuals for the last week, and considering you are using the same rhetoric here you've used unsuccessfully on my mutuals, it really isn't hard to tell who would feel devoted enough to say this.

There are three things that are hilarious about this ask.

My primary fandom presence isn't on tumblr. I am actually on this website the least: So yes, you HAVE missed on a TON of essays about these two and how I feel about them, because you don't actually know me and you haven't even seen MOST of the things I have to say about DC comics as a whole. My primary fandom presence is on the Supertruth discord server which several of the people I am defending in this weird little flame war of yours are part of (hi @ultfreakme!) and have seen me talk about these characters and their stories at length. You do not know me well enough to assert whether or not I like a character by doing a cursory search of my blog.

Your little 'character blurbs' that are supposed to display your DEEP INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE of these characters, SUPERIOR TO MINE, are really shallow and innaccurate. Like, fanon levels of summarization. John Henry's character has very little to do with being a human in a town of supers nowadays and is largely focused on his complicated relationship with the military Industrial Complex (see Superwoman, Steelworks) as an inventor of supertechnology, Natasha is WAY more than just the nephew of John (SHE WAS PART OF THE AUTHORITY) and in fact a huge part of her presence in 52 was escaping out from under John's shadow, not following in his footsteps. You get the closest with Kenan: Yeah, he was a bully turned Super, that's absolutely the pitch GLY was using to sell Kenan as a character, but is that ALL he is to you? You're not going to mention his whole story also being a double for criticism of the Chinese government? His conflict with his parents and struggling to figure out what 'doing good' even means? What about Baixi, Deilan? (That enough analysis for you to be satisfied with some arbitrary level of 'caring'?)

The 'favorite character' in question you are accusing me of using these poc to prop up is Jay Fucking Nakamura, A MAN OF COLOR, AND ALSO A SUPERFAM CHARACTER YOU FUCKERS EXCLUDE ON THE REGULAR. He is an asian indigenous man IN THE TEXT and he is the DC character I post about THE MOST on this website. It is SUPER funny to accuse me of what, using POC to uplift the... other poc...? Thats based of me, I had no idea I was doing it! Like seriously saying this while Jay is my PFP is CRAZY funny. Do you HEAR yourself? And don't start on the "well jay isn't superfam!' nonsense because PAUL KAMINSKI, GROUP EDITOR FOR THE SUPERFAMILY, HAS SAID HE IS. But when have YOU guys cared about what the media you claim to like actually says, aye?

But lets say none of the above is true. Lets say you were right and I was just PRETENDING to care about some of my favorite characters in the entire DC franchise because... because of woke?

It doesn't change the fact that literally less than 24 hours ago you were in my inbox trying to argue that posting 'kent family' as opposed to 'superfamily' was a great Get Out of Jail Free card for excluding characters of color. It doesn't change the fact that you guys repeatedly include Chris over the canon POC within the superfamily. It doesn't change the fact that calling that behavior out is NECESSARY, regardless on if a person 'posts enough' about the characters they're trying to defend from fandom racism. It doesn't change the fact that, according to you 'agreeing' with me in this ask, you decided that picking a fight with someone who made a point you agreed with was somehow the best course of action.

But you don't agree, do you? And that's kind of what its been about all along. The fandom love of Chris Kent is changing as people notice that he is, a) not a good character b) consistently favored over better non-white characters c) repeatedly used as a tool in arguments to put other characters within the superfam down. And now that people are calling this what it is- white favoritism- you are feeling attacked because you are attached to Chris but NOT to these characters people are now pushing. So you are scrambling for reasons to tell people who express these thoughts that they're actually the bigoted ones in some way. What does that accomplish other than squashing long overdue discussions of fandom racism?

I'm not here for it. You can fuck right off.

#salt posting #fanwank #asks #Seriously anon. What did you hope to accomplish here other than stopping me from saying things you dont like? #I'm not gonna! #You are going to have to sit with the fact that you have decided THIS of ALL HILLS is the hill to die on. And its a real shitty hill.

[croakings]

i apologize for mithrunposting incessantly but honestly if any of you expected better of me you shouldn't have

anyway i get it and some of the failguy jokes are funny. i can tell that nothing i've run into is even malicious. but also it would be really cool and awesome if there were simply less posts calling a disabled person a failure or baby or a dog or whatever for needing accommodation or extra help, especially when like. hey did you know the source material very on purpose did not do anything remotely like that. critical thinking question: could there be some reasons these phrases are not great, potentially

#* #mithrun #dungeon meshi #people are being weird about laois and falin wrt autism also but this is a separate issue #the downside of rep outside of like Average Action Movie Protagonist #which is to say. rep at all. as we would think of it. #is that you get to see not in-group folks talk about those characters. also. #and sometimes. people have. let us say. unexamined. or unacknowledged. biases. perhaps prejudices. at times. #ANYWAY #DISABLED PEOPLE HOWEVER DISABLED ARE NOT INFANTS OR ANIMALS. THANK YOU. #ALSO JUST FOR THE RECORD NOT THAT IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE TO MY POINT #BUT MITHRUN IS SAID IN THE STORY TO BE FAIRLY SELF SUFFICIENT OUTSIDE OF DUNGEON CRAWLING. #his intelligence and strength stats are both extremely high. hey. hey. hey guys. what about him compels you to portray him #as weak or bumbling or unintelligent. quickly. #edit: #like look. if your whole joke is just ''ooooh he's so fucked up. he's so fucked up he's basically a goofy dog''. think about some things. #talking about/including a character's disability: 👍✅ #exclusively talking about how fucked up it makes them/how fucked up it is to be disabled: 😕❌ #double anyway. fucking. please for the love of god if nothing else. understand that real life disabled people see how you talk about #and portray those with disabilities. and sometimes! it does not feel good. thank you. #this isn't no fun alloweding. just THINK before you say shit PLEASE. #the only character ive seen get called a dog as much as mithrun is fucking laois. which. yk? ykwim here? would u call chilchuck a pursedog. #would that be fucked up‚ maybe. can you tell me why. are you reading me. #ok. i'm done. just. god. negative sims interaction bubble. JUST THINK ABOUT IT THATS ALL. #''its funny to ship mithrun with beautiful people bc he looks so fucked up now haha'' PLEASE CAN ANYONE HEAR ME. #actually i have more to say. rbing this. god. God.

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

[dishsaop]

if you can read this, im not vagueposting abt you. but its real fuckin weird how some people think their pet photos are healing to other people. your kitty and your puppy are lovely but sending me pictures of them are not magically making me feel better and its actually kind of weird that you think it would

#i like animals a lot! animals deserve nothing but care and respect! #fuck my allergies; if im at a party and there is a pet i am ditching every person to go hang out with the animal #but if i tell u i am sad and u go ah. here. this will cure you. 12 pictures of my dog. dont you feel better now? #no. its weird. thats weird #that is a photograph of someone elses animal and i have depression #'demeaning' isnt the right word and idk the word im looking for exactly but its like- #-idk theres something not quite insulting abt the like... assumption that this will make me better #this is SUCH a negative post im sorry lol i genuinely love seeing photos of my friends pets and hearing the stories and all #i love animals #its just. uncomfortable and. um. belittling? (still not the exact right word) to assume my struggles are healed by. some pixels of an anima #that i dont even have a relationship with #ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY i told an irl friend im having a bad time and they... spammed me with dog photos and went ah are u better now #no. im worse actually.

[puppyeared]

#UAUHGG im havung oc thoughts. plaguing myBRAIN. i can feel my heartrate spiking holy shit #ok so. i rly wanna touch up presto and shuffles story without scaring myself out of it by overthinking it. esp the implications of #them having animal features and what they would eat. as well as worldbuilding character dynamics setting background characters ugghh. #constantly have to tell myself its just for fun. basically theyre rival magicians who keep their identities secret and fuck it up in #the funniest way possible LMAO. they rent the same apartment and the landlady accidentally gives it to both of them without them knowing #so they end up walking in on each other out of costume and have this weird tension around not revealing each others identities despite thei #borderline malicious rivalry. blackmail may or may not be involved i havent decided yet #they DO consider backing out of tenancy but they decide not to so they can make sure they dont reveal each others identities #thats the idea but its really abstract bc i dont have a direction or writing in mind. they just rattle in my head like spare change #other stuff i have rn is. they both consider each other a copycat and they have the same skill level of magic #but they have different styles and techniques theyre just too focused on outperforming each other to notice #presto likes to make people laugh so they probably include gags and impossible feats. shuffle is more elegant and focuses on #smooth movements and dangerous stunts. i want to make that reflect in their costumes but its hard bc stage magician costumes tend to stick #to suits and capes.. so idk. then maybe side characters like the landlady and other tenants but i havent given em much thought orz #i really should practice with concepts because i have a bad habit of making everything similar to the first try so its frustrating #and i suck at writing characters. but im doing this for fun so im trying not to get hung up on whether its generic or not #yapping #stares at the floor. maybe i should make a carrd for my ocs #oc talk #presto #shuffle

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops. #and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can! #and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here: #barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time. #barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done. #and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies. #and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them) #and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances'' #from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

[syntheticpaperd0ll]

im feeling it tonight so this one goes out to all my girlies (gender neutral) with addictions. recovering from addictions. who don't want to recover from addictions. who are relapsing or have relapsed. who have moved from one addiction to the next. who cant recover from addictions. this one is for people with addictions other than drugs. shopping. sex. internet. food. self harm. all the weirdest and worst addictions that people may or may not consider normal. for all of you also trying to live in a world where addictions are so demonized, i see you. i love you.

#tw addiction #tw sh related #tw relaspe #mental health #addiction #s/h #cant tell anyone im addicted to cvtting without some asshole reaction srsly #i cant help it. i kinda dont want to help it. but its the truth and you need to accept that even if youre not happy about it #im notna drug addict but even so its the same story with overdosing #“stop it” and ??? how ??? why ??? when?? it feels good so why should i stop?? #at least give me a valid reason damn it #and every time since the first the guy who just tells me to stoo gets this weird pitiful expression and i hate it #use your energy on someone who can help and/or who is more likely to benefit from these things #use your energy on someone who wants ti quit not stay bad/get worse #i get that youre worried but i am not the person who is going to value your worry over my own overwhelming urges

[vaugarde]

this is gonna sound so backhanded but after 3 letdowns in a row from pokemon (followed by a game which isnt terrible but i dislike because of how much it fucked up the plot of sm), then a game that i genuinely really love and want more in the style of and largely because of how it deviates from the main series, im genuinely so shocked that i love scarlet and violet as much as i do. like when i was going through that tutorial i was just cautious and waiting for the other show to drop and be bored at best, but like, graphic glitches aside, it never came. it stayed really fun and charming

#like is it acceptable that it came out so glitchy when its a $60 console release? absolutely not #i think the game has a lot of issues and i dont blame people for not being happy with it #but i think what makes this better than swsh to me is like. swsh sorta feels like it was made out of obligation sometimes #like. tpci and gamefreak treated galar like a kid would treat an art project in a medium they werent interested in #but they were being harassed for that good grade so they powered through and hated the result #and sorta just tried to hide it when they got home from school that day #not that there isn’t anything to like about galar or it has no substance whatsoever but when i played it i couldnt shake the feeling #that gamefreak was embarassed of it. like they did not want to linger too much on this game #i think the anime switching format was a good idea in the end cause just putting ash in another gauntlet after he won the alola league would #would have been weird but its veryyyy telling to me that they changed the format so drastically #that we didnt even spend all our time in galar. their home base wasnt even in galar #and in the game they emphasize that kantos got better pokemon and everyone loves them better and theres not a whole lot to do #and there was always just this feeling of insecurity and dissatisfaction with it #and for all its faults- i cant say the same thing about scvi. this game oozes with charm and care #the writing feels like someone genuinely cared about these characters and wanted the best for them and the story #the gameplay feels more involved and confident. they got more experimental with the format #idk it feels like people LIKED working on this game to a degree and wanted the player to have fun #echoed voice

[antirepurp]

in a perfect world frontiers would've leaned more heavily onto the elements of exploration and combat, taking the wonder rise of lyric wanted to create with the way it places the player into ancient ruins and abandoned facilities to learn more about them, and replicating the love that went into unleashed's werehog gameplay that gave us a fleshed out combo system and a competent beat-em-up. alas sega is a coward, and in this essay i will -

#soda offers you a can #admittedly rise of lyric doesn't exactly give you the lore it wants to because of Everything #i imagine having to rewrite the whole story last-minute for a game you know is a lost cause does not motivate you- #-to motivate you to create new lore that's in line with the new guidelines you have to follow #but it has the spirit still. RoL lets you explore these old places yourself and see everything that remains in them #it gives you material to work with and lets you fill in the blanks #it draws attention to these things and shows them to you and tells you hey! people were here once! #frontiers gives you structures but a funny pyramid isn't really enough on its own #it's all just weird buildings and structures and not much else. it's strange but simultaneously not enough to make you think #RoL gives you old machines and vast chambers filled with technology and dig sites #and those all have personality to them and they feel like something #frontiers's structures rarely feel like anything even if you know they're supposed to #they're neat but not much beyond that #and the combat is. fine. but it's no unleashed. and there's a reason people mod it all the time #frontiers has the building blocks for a game that combines several things i love but the execution falls short unfortunately and it pains m

[boyywithluv]

.

#having a creative rut feeling #gonna rant #im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well #and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it. #every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that #like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw #but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better?? #i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it. #and thats scary for me. #but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content. #i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating. #i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it #i just feel. worse? i dont feel good. #i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good. #ugh #idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make #and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame. #not that i find those things lame #but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain. #when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!! #but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset #im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay #bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft. #i don't think im making sense but like. #you know #I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content #multiple times. #so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame #but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't #vent ish

[lobotomizedlady]

people often assume when we all go out together that I'm my half brothers mom (I'm 20 years older than him) & that his parents are his grandparents & it's so funny bc I know it bothers them. old ass idiots

#my dad was 49 & his wife was 45 when they had him #the story behind his birth is actually extremely fucked up like everything else about their relationship #so my dad left her like a million times to try to go back to my mom (who kept telling him no unless he sorted out his issues) then he #would always run right back to her & she always took him back. anyways i guess he said smth along the lines of #''my wife (he was still married to my mom) will always be the love of my life bc shes the mother of my kids'' #and...she went off bc & on fertility treatments without telling him. then shes pregnant & he is still saying he wants to come back to us #so she said he will never see their kid & her son from a previous marraige THREATENED MY DAD AT GUNPOINT #and said if you ever leave my mom again ill fucking kill yoi #so then the divorce was finalized & they got married & my half brother was born. rest is history #for the record i dont feel sorry for my dad at all it was his fault too. the fucking hypocrite was having sex before marriage #and he knew she was nuts & far too attached to her #what a fucking idiot. all he had to do was get on meds & in therapy & admit he was wrong & he could have stayed with us #but he needed constant validation & to be in charge of everything & thats what his new wife gives him. she converted to his cult & now they #raise my brother in it. and she just does whatever my dad wants & lets him treat her like shit. i would actually feel sorry for her if sh #if she werent such a fucking awful person. and she tries to be all nicey nice w/us despite being a literal homewrecker. #and doing things like telling my dad he cant spend more than 50 dollars per year on each of us #while having him buy her a third car & a 1500 dollar fur coat. lol #theyre so much better off financially than us that its unreal. my mom doesnt get a penny despite how much we are struggling #but if i want a relationship with my half brother i just have to pretend none of this is weird or wrong. #anyways i just hope he never finds out the circumstances of his birth bc god can you fucking imagine