#i know thats not true. but i feel really bad right now. im not thinking.

[dreamcast-official]

hm.

#eli.txt #i think the reason i feel so shit over The Whole Deal is like. god. i just miss talking to them. #sometimes it felt like they were the only person who cared about what i had to say. they were the easiest person to talk to in my life. #and like. basically overnight. they were so distant for what i thought was no reason. and they did not care about me anymore. #i know they were justified in acting that way and its not like they suddenly hate me and dont care about me but god. #thats what it feels like. thats what it fucking feels like!!!! #i didnt just lose my boyfriend i lost one of my best friends and it fucking sucks. it feels like no one is going to put up with me anymore. #idk i dont feel nearly as comfortable talking to Anyone anymore. because when am i gonna know i made a mistake. #how am i gonna know i made a mistake and they suddenly think i hate them and it leads to something like this. how am i gonna know. #and like!! it looks To Me like their life got so much better without me being an active part of it. and i feel like i have just gotten worse #AND THEY WONT FUCKING TALK TO ME! I KEEP TRYING TO MAKE CONVERSATION AND THEY DONT TALK TO ME! AND LIKE. #I KNOW I FUCKED UP BUT IM FUCKING TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR IT CAN YOU PLEASE JUST LET ME TRY. TALK TO ME. I MISS YOU. #I LOVE YOU. NOT IN THAT SENSE ANYMORE BUT I STILL CARE FOR YOU. YOURE MY FRIEND. FUCKING TALK TO ME. #I KNOW NO AMOUNT OF SAYING IM SORRY CAN FIX IT BUT IM TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR IT. PLEASE JUST DONT IGNORE ME LIKE THAT. #god i just feel like maybe i meant nothing. maybe theyve just already moved on entirely and i was never anything. #maybe im the only one who still hurts. yknow. i dont think they care about me anymore. #which i could fucking deal with if they just said that instead of flat out ignoring me. #god i just feel like shit. what if i keep fucking up the same way what if i lose everyone the same way and in the end im alone. #i would probably deserve it. if i keep messing up this bad maybe i deserve to be alone. #i know thats not true. but i feel really bad right now. im not thinking. #no one is going to put up with me the way they did. they already dont. #god. im so tired. i wish they would fucking talk to me.

[shayberri789]

Thinking back on it and... even though I didnt have the words or vocab to adequately explain my fears or how I felt, I'm really really proud of younger me for identifying those experiences and fears and trying to voice them anyway, and I'm proud of younger me for not changing in face of those differences

#ive always been aroace just didnt have the knowledge to say it #so i kept with my stupid promise theory #but im proud of myself to identifying wjay i did or didnt want. that i didnt feel that way #and rather than trying to force myself to appear allo or hating myself for not beint like anyone else #i found a reason that made sense and rolled with it #and stood true to myself #i was thinking of a trip when i was like 12 to the beach #and we were walking back to our hotel and i said to my mom i was afraid that my promise to never get a crush #had closed my heart to love. i was afraid i couldnt love ever #and i don't remember if i meant i wanted romantic love or if i was aftaid this meant i couldnt love my friends and family #or life and the things in it #(it was probably the latter) #but im proud of myself for voicing those fears and even when my mom gave the wrong response #('oh maybe you did. thats not good maybe you should open your heart to love and crushes') #(mom didnt know any better and what she actually said wasnt bad or even unwise. but it did hurt me. i remember the hurt) #im proud that i took that pain and wrong answer and rather than betraying myself i just basically went 'so be it' and accepted who i was #im looking back and i was a really wise child #idk im just feeling self love right now. i dont always feel this easy love and acknowledgement to myself #shay posts #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aroace positivity #aromantic positivity #aromantic experience #aroace experience #asexual positivity #asexual experience

[gaystardykeco]

not ready to go back to work tomorrow but luckily im so not ready that my brain isn't letting it fully process and so im just kind of numb except for little moments when the panic breaks through again

#feeling more and more like a robot and less and less like a person the emptier my life gets #the future is so empty like its just work and isolation forever #i have one thing left at the end of this week and then after that its just work and family and alone #and i think numbing out completely is really the only way ill be able to cope at all #i didnt used to really be able to do that but maybe now im to the point where i just have to so its become an option #idk i also might just be lying to myself and be about to get hit really hard with how bad this all is tomorrow #job interview friday. but plausibly i dont think i can take the job even if i get it bc i just dont think i can move to nyc #i just feel like ive hit a dead end #like i was a side character in someone elses story and that person has moved on so im just like floating in stasis #bc my part of the story is over i wrote myself out of their lives so i don't really exist anymore #idk my brain is telling me all these things that i know are silly but feel so true and i just am tired and empty #sorry to be dramatic and complain again just dreading work so bad #i just dont see any path forward thats not this forever loop like i cant make or have real connections with other ppl #and thats whats supposed to make a life real and worth living #but ive never had the capacity to connect right and ive never had passion for anything and ive never been able to really love and be loved #and i dont know how to fix any of it bc honestly i dont think any of its fixable #ill always be an emotionally harmful drain on anyone i think i love and ill always be left when they realize that #and then ive just hurt another person and i dont want to be a person that just hurts people so i cant be around people anymore #but its so empty and its so lonely and i hate myself so fucking much #anyway. i sound like a pathetic whiny teenager lmao sorry i know how stupid it all is i promise

[biteapple]

my former therapist told me "everything you are and become and will be is something learned; you cant be something if you didn't learn it somewhere. nothing is inherent about anyone, except for something genetic" and honestly it is still messing with me on some level

#like i knew this technically but it still doesnt feel right. something about that feels wrong to me #its for everything like. good and bad about a person #but it gives me this sense of wanting to go back and find the original. does that make sense #if everyone learns something somewhere .. who was the first to do it. and why did it happen that way #yknow what i mean? i imagine this progenitor of all things good and evil about a person #i think the answer to this question is: does that matter? and.. i dont know that it does #like .. can it be quantified? no. but thats the same for most everything thats personal qualia like that #maybe what matters is who YOU learned it from. and what happened to have that occur. and what it means to you #but i still dont like that interpretation of personhood. even if its like scientific and true and shit or whatever. #makes me feel mechanical and not in control of myself instead of someone who's organic and can make my own decisions about my life #but i mean like. i taught people stuff yknow. we all do. right. but like. idk. it makes me feel like im not my own person #and maybe its like. part of wanting to ''feel special''. but i dont like the limelight. i think im really an average joe #i just want to feel like i have control of myself and who i am. and thats why my name feels like its so important to me. yknow what i mean #like i have to think about it a lot. but when nothing about me is original or inherent .. then i feel like im like. nothing #but i guess its like throwing stones or something. not the first stone thrown right. not the first stone in this pond #not the first with this composite. and not the last #but someone threw you that day and you landed somewhere and you eroded this way and you tumbled that way. and you're you #you're like every apple that grows right. not the first on this tree or in that soils or by that farmer. #not the first apple grown under the sun. but you grew and someone eats you #not the first apple eaten by this person. but you got snacked on then and there. and thats what matters about it right. #like whats happening right now. what am i doing about it instead of trying to do something out of my control about the nature of being #wow. i made myself feel better. thanks for reading

[nimomo-mo]

vent

#i was hungry today so i think my appetite is coming back despite the pills #and im not sure if thats a good thing #i still cant focus so i mean. lol. lmao even #at least i cant make myself start tasks and my executive dysfunction is as bad as ever #now i have the issue of if i keep getting hungry like before im gonna gain weight again and i dont wanna #look theres nothing wrong with being fat or chubby and god knows im not aiming to be a stick figure but oh my god i dont want to gain weigh #i should work out and get fit like a normal human and that means i should eat right. but i still have that nagging feeling #i love myself. i do. i have the dissociation thing where i cant recognize myself in the mirror tho. and its not good this time. #usually i dont really mind since its like. you know like its not me anyway so what does it matter if that girl is fat or not #but im really self conscious and feel gross and i dont know why it all started back up again #i want to measure it. want to weigh myself. want to count calories and check with measuring tape #but i really shouldnt and i know that if i do i will trigger such a bad episode i might end up in the fucking hospital #i need to hold out until this episode goes away. i need to stand it all until i get my head back together. #i dont wanna get malnutrition or lose weight so fast my skin gets flappy #but every little thing i eat ends up nagging at the back of my head about how if i eat more ill get fat and noone will like me then #its not true. i know its not true. and i know fat people are gorgeous and i am already chubby so what does it matter #but i feel horrible. i dont want to look like this or feel like this or be like this #i want to be the best i can be. i want to reach my full potential. but its not exactly working. i swear to god i wanna love myself #i want to be loved. i want to be adored. i want to be the one someone picks even if the room is full of gorgeous and competent women #i want to be the first choice and for the person to see me as the most beautiful person in the world #to be the first choice and to be everything someone wants and needs. to be the ideal. to be the perfect one even with my flaws #i want someone to look at all the ugly sides of me and look at my fat and my emotional fuckery and my ugly crying and still love me #i want someone to love me so wholeheartedly i wont ever feel like theyd like someone else. that theyd pick someone else. that im not no.1 #i want to be that person you do a double take of. to be the one that people get jealous of. to be the spotlight. to be the prettiest one. #its egoistical and selfish and childish and mean and dumb and naive and self absorbed i know. i know that it is #but its still there and its embarrassing . but im not gonna pretend like i dont have these thoughts and feelings. #im not smart or pretty enough to stand out. i dont know what could make me special. i dont know what i do that makes me unique. #what am i? who am i? how do i get better? i want to be better. i want to be better i want to be better i want to be better #i want to reach a new level i want to reach their level i want to be at the top i want to be special i want to be better i want to be proud #i want to be genuinely proud and special and outstanding enough to not feel insecure or inferior anymore

[hyperfixat]

hey!! I really love ur blog so so much rn! If you can, I'd like to request a neurodivergent MC? One that has certain foods they hate and have never told anyone since their family had forced them to try them since they were little? (Ex. Cauliflower, brussel sprouts, blueberries, bananas, carrots) and so, one day, when theyre all eating (at the HoL or just out) and they notice MC eating all but those foods on their plate? Sorry if this is a bit too specific, I just really can't write it properly for myself and i would like to have some form of comfort-

Anyway, have an amazing day!!

anon i am holding you so close rignt now this cured my writers block this is the first ask i’ve got in like two months TT 

i am incapable of writing anything not hurt comfort so there is some ‘oh man im so sad :(‘ at the beginning but yk if u said u like my writing i imagine u kinda expected this

warning for mentions of throw up and actually eating the bad foods :(

and yes yes yes i love writing explicitly nd mcs!! i added in another obstacle to the req; freaky demon food bcs thats always fun to consider. That way u can kinda make the demon food similar to whatever food u want in ur mind, anyhow, the words u wanted;

/

You push the pile of purple (purple!?) mashed… something from one corner of your plate to the center.  First you had to go to a strange demon school where all of your peers are so much scarier and larger than you and now you’ve been presented with whatever the hell this is for dinner.

You think Leviathan (Levi — it feels so odd referring to him so casually having just met him) was the one that made it.  There was a protein on the plate, you ate that with no issues, but. 

Urgh. This?

It’s your second night sleeping in the House of Lamentation and you don’t feel nearly comfortable or safe enough to get a snack on your own, especially at night. You’ve had such a long day at RAD and your body is dying for some food.

Disguising your disgusted reluctance with a carefully blank face, your grab some of the.  The stuff. 

Ah, nope.  You set your fork down quietly after taking a slow bite / swallow and grab your cup to drown the leftover flavors and textures.  

Luckily all the demon brothers seem pretty into their dinnertime banter and didn’t notice your… less than satisfactory reaction to the food.

Gosh, you don’t want to offend any of them, especially not so early on in the year you’ll have to room with them.  

It’s a good thing that Beelzebub is practically a food vacuum and doesn’t question the nearly untouched pile of. Well you know. Left over on your plate.

/

…It’s official. You hate Devildom cuisine.  

Is the universe playing one big, cruel joke on you?  What the hell is wrong with demons?  Why must the eat the worst things in the world?  Why… why… why?

Lucifer wouldn’t let you starve under his roof, and provides you with full meals and makes it clear what parts of the kitchen are free to raid (as not to take anything designated to anyone else).  You feel like the most ungrateful human in the whole wide world right now.

It’s been quite a few months since the start of the exchange program and you’ve been… getting by.  Okay, that’s not exactly true, you’ve been having a blast in most aspects of your stay in the Devildom.  Most.

There’s still the teeny tiny issue of the cuisine not quite fitting your tastes.  You’ve tried talking to Solomon about the Devildom cuisine and he tried to cheer you up with some authentic human world cuisine, but as it turns out his cooking is far worse than Devildom-style food.

Not to be dramatic, but you’re suffering in silence.  You get by, as in you’re not hungry – the demons you’ve grown oh so fond of wouldn’t let that happen.  They always seem willing to fetch you anything.  

You’re trying so hard not to hurt any feelings, because you love them and want to support them.  It’s just.  You want to throw up almost every meal.  (Barbatos’ little treats have been your saving grace – he always seems to have some yummy little snack on him.  One that you like and doesn’t make you feel like your throat is crawling out of your mouth.)

Most of the time the brothers don’t pay much thought to what you leave on your plate – as long as you eat some of what was served they seem content.  Even on nights where the meal is more nasty than good, it’s easy to just say you’re not that hungry.

This night was bound to happen at some point.  Your plate is uneatable.  It’s edible, just uneatable.  It’d be more humiliating to choke down a few bites than it is to go to bed hungry.  You wrinkle your nose when you think no one is looking and stab at the meat chunk.

Your eyes are downcast and you drag your knife lazily through the food.  It’s mesmerizing in a way, so much so that you don’t notice at first when Asmo calls your name.

“MC, is something wrong? Are you feeling alright?”  At this point he’s drawn the attention of his brothers as well.

“Yeah, you’re barely eating,” Mammon supplies.

Ah, the moment you’ve been dreading and hoped you would never have to face.

“Oh, I don’t have much of an appetite right now.”  Which certainly isn’t a lie.  

“You didn’t eat much at lunch, hon.” Asmo reaches across the table to put the back of his manicured hand on your forehead to feel for a fever.

You cringe, “uhm, well.  I’m.”  You fail to think of a decent lie quick enough – nothing you say will be believable as you mentally blue screen.

“Honest answer?”  Satan prods.

“I’m not the biggest fan of some Devildom foods.” “Not the biggest fan?”  Beel questions, “you dislike them enough to forgo eating entirely.”  

“I’m trying not to sound like an ungrateful jerk right now.  Give me a moment to word this properly.”

Satan scoffs. “Just say it.  Whatever you have to say can’t be worse than what we’ve put you through.”

“Damn, okay.  The food makes me wanna throw up when I eat it.”

Levi, the chef of the night, folds in on himself, face darkening with shame or embarrassment.

“It’s not a personal gripe, most meals have something that makes me feel that way, hon.” It seems your attempt to comfort him isn’t appreciated though, as Levi shoves his face in his hands.

Lucifer sets his fork down. “And why haven’t you said anything to any of us about this?  We want you to feel at home here.”

“You can’t expect me to be comfortable barging into what was at the time a strangers house and demand they make special accommodations for me, then once I was comfortable enough to say something I felt I put up with it long enough that it’d be odd to bring it up out of nowhere.”

“Fair enough,” Satan nods along.

“No? Not ‘fair enough’!” Mammon scolds.  “You shoulda said something to me!  Do you even like half the snacks I give you?  I spent good Grimm on those!”

Memories of bribing Beelzebub to do certain errands in the earlier days of your Devildom stay flicker through your mind.  “They got eaten.”

“MC,” Lucifer brings the conversation back on track.  “Let us know foods you don’t want to eat, we may be demons, but we’re here to provide you with a comfortable stay.”  You nod under his sincere gaze.  “Now, give your plate to Beel and order some delivery.  I’ll cover the costs, as long as you eat.”  

As you shove your plate across the table you see Lucifer pulling a shiny black card from his coat pocket.  He gestures for you to come and take it.  You walk to the head of the table and he presses the card into your hand. 

“Order whatever you’d like.  My treat.”  There’s a glint of humor in his eyes and you look down to see Goldie in your palm.

#verified hyperfixat post #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #om hcs #obey me hcs #obey me hurt/comfort #obey me headcanons #obey me headcanon #obey me x you #obey me demon brothers #hyperfixat answers

[harufluff]

things enhypen say

warnings - minor cursing

genre - fluff, enhypen x gn!reader, established relationship au

wc - about 100 words per member.

reblogs and comments are highly appreciated.

bolded is reader - txt version

yang jungwon

"y'know, i feel happier when i'm with you."

"i like how your eyes twinkle." "twinkle?" "mhm, they shine like stars."

"what was your favorite part of the day?" "all of it with you."

"YOII" "what?" "nothing..."

"i'm just gonna steal these...thank you..."

"you're like my pillow. nice and soft."

"i think my parents will like you." "really?" "uhmm alrigh- OW"

lee heeseung

"wanna come play with me and the boys?"

"why do you look so emo?" "what? i always dress like this." "yea. emo." "you're the one dating an emo then."

"you're stupid." "yea i know." "well now i feel bad. ok you're really smart, and cute"

"it's time to wake up, the earth says hello"

"you can go to bed if you want? no?? ok then, you can stay here."

"your finger is so cute." "what the heck hee." "what!! its true!!"

park jay

"crap i'm in love." "my ramyeon is good, right?" "with you." "..." "*chuckles*"

"is my brain playing tricks on me, or are you actually this pretty?" "you're so cheesy...i am this pretty"

"gold or silver wedding band. what do you think?"

"let's move in together"

"if i die, what would you do?" "die." "NO"

"thank you for not making fun of me like the boys do."

sim jake

"c'mon smile, or don't whatever you want. youre pretty anyway."

"why are you looking at me?" "it's impossible to look away."

"don't be a stranger, ok?"

"is that my shirt?!" "uhm, yea?" "wait no!- just keep it."

"pinky swear you'll stay?"

"cmere, you!! give me a damn kiss already!!"

park sunghoon

"i think im different with you than with the boys..." "oh really?" "mhm. its like i'm a rock with them, and i'm cotton candy with you."

"feels like the first time."

"thank you." "for what?" "just for being here"

"stop that, you're making me blush. i look weird when my face is red" "you look adorable when your face is red" "shut up"

"cuddle attack!!" "oh fuck"

"why aren't we dating?" "WERE NOT DATING???!!" "no we are i was just wondering why we didn't before, cause i was head over heels for you since day one."

"i love you." "i love me too."

kim sunoo

"there it is!! there's my favorite smile!!"

"wake up sleepyhead. its time for a new day with your lovely boyfriend"

"i feel comfortable with you." "why is that?" "because i can be myself. i don't have to act a certain way or anything. i'm just me."

"i like your pj's" "thanks!! they're yours..." "well not anymore. now they're yours."

"mint chocolate or me." "mint chocolate." "thats what I thought." "WAIT WHAT- YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE OFFENDED AND I COMFORT YOU WITH HUGS AND KISSES"

"let's make a fort, the watch movies together, and then eat ice cream."

nishimura riki

"hugs" "hugs what?" "hugs please"

"your voice is like music to me." "that's so cheesy." "i know, jake hyung told me to say it to you."

"c'mon it'll be fun!!"

"lets go get bungeoppang together." "can we hold hands?" "that was a given."

"were literally a cliche. nerd in love with popular." "I'M NOT A NERD" "i never said you were the nerd." “ohhhhhhh…that’s sweet, my nerd”

"stay for a while. it hasn't been that long." "it's been 5 hours" "not long enough."

©Harufluff 2023 | Do not copy, repost, or claim any of my works.

#k labels #kflixnet #enhypen #enha #enhypen fluff #enhypen names #enhypen heeseung #enhypen jay #enhypen jake #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen sunoo #enhypen jungwon #enhypen niki #enhypen reaction #enhypen headcanons #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen fic #enhypen x reader

[beefboyandbabygirl]

can i request pleasee? wonwoo oneshot based on taylor swift's song "the very first night" because i'm in need of smutty with extra fluffy in it ☹️😔

Very First Night

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

pairing: ex!wonwoo x fem!reader

genre: smut, fluff, exes to lovers

warnings: this is SMUT MDNI!, oral (f receiving), regular smegular missionary, making out, exes getting back together, brief mentions of clubbing and alcohol, petnames (baby, darling)

quotes from beefboy: "it's FIERCE" (sorry thats the only one i dont feel like scrolling thru all our messages AHHA)

wordcount: 1k

a/n: first request yaaay!! i know im a little late into the game by now (my summer vacay is pretty packed lol), but in case ur confuuuuused, hiii im the bbygirl to the beefboy (aka user @joshibambi), im taking care of all the requests xx. And im gonna be v honest here and say i hadn't heard this song until this request lol, but i took this task SERIOUSLY and i love basing fics on songs (i make a playlist for all of beefboys fics, its true), so like keep em coming. i rlly hope u like it!! (this was a v long a/n lmao i promise they wont all b like this).

You watched his name on your phone screen, displayed in your contacts in a row amongst many other w-names. Wiliam, Wade, Walter- Who the fuck was Wylan? You tried to pay attention to any other name but his.

Wonwoo.

And then you thought, fuck it. It wasn’t like things had ended on bad terms. They had ended on we-are-busy-and-maybe-we-should-try-something-new terms. It was easy. An honest talk on the couch during a chilly Friday afternoon, and you had decided it was the best option. For the both of you.

And it was only after the fourth weekend out with your friends after the breakup, you realized what had happened.  

You missed him. You missed him so bad, you wished you could abandon the strong drinks and sweaty air of the bar that reminded you so much of your very first night with him. But you didn’t. You didn’t say a word as you danced under flashes of pink and red with strangers. Nobody knew.

Nobody knew how much you missed him. Not until now.

“Hello?” 

He sounded confused, maybe even a little startled when he answered your call. Maybe you should have told your friends so they could have talked you out of this afterall.

“Hey Wonwoo.”

“Hey…”

You realized you hadn’t actually planned what you were going to do from here. 

“Do you- Like, wanna come over?”

It went silent on the other end again, and the question echoed in your head, suddenly sounding pretty wrong.

“I mean- Not like that, just like if you wanna talk, you know? Catch up and stuff, I just wanna make sure you’re okay and-“

“Y/n, let me stop you right there.”

Well. That didn’t seem too good.

“I, uh- Okay, fuck, this is really embarrasing, but I’m- I’m already here.”

“…What the fuck?”

“Yeah, and I was gonna do this whole- I don’t know this whole thing, and now you’ve ruined it, actually. So thank you.”

The familiar sarcastic tone of his voice made you giggle as you got up from the couch and sauntered towards the door.

“Really? What kinda thing?”

You were teasing him now, but hell, you had already decided to call your ex on a lonely late night. Might as well go all out.

“This whole…Romantic thing, I know it’s stupid, I’m sorry, but I just-“

Before he could continue, you pushed the door open, and there he was. Not a particularly spectacular sight, to the average person. Dressed in sweats with his glasses (your favorite pair. The slutty ones), sliding down his nose a little, exposing the fact that he probably ran all the way up the stairs. 

And still he was beautiful. The most beautiful you’d ever seen him.

“…So do we talk first, or do you wanna-?”, he asked. 

“I was thinking fuck first, talk second?”

“I wanna kiss you first though.”

“Kissing is an integral part of sex.”

“I know, but I wanna kiss you now.”

“Was that your romantic thing? Burst into my apartment and kiss me?”

He shrugged.

“I figured you’d like it.”

You took a step closer to him.

“You were right.”

At some point during the kiss you both made it past your doorstep, lips pressed together tightly and limbs intertwined in all sorts of impossible ways. 

Once again you were brought back to your first night together. How you practically jumped into his car, and he pressed the gas as hard as he could, and the lights and neon signs were so pretty it felt like they were there just for you. How you stumbled through the hotel room door all smitten and giggling, the sounds of the busy city life behind the window not even coming close to drowning out the sound of your pounding hearts. It was written in the sky that night, the longing, the want, the need you felt for each other. 

You were brought back to the present when the air got punched out of your lungs, as your back hit the mattress of your bed. Wonwoo crawled on top of you, his eyes meeting yours. 

You kissed again. Your limbs intertwined again, and clothes flew all over your room as you scrambled to get back to each other after all this time. you knew then and there that your very first night together was going to be incomparable to this feeling. This feeling, in this moment. 

His lips kissed their way down your body, not leaving a single spot missed until he met your clit, his nose brushing against it ever so lightly. 

“Don’t tease, Won- Ah.”

He couldn’t dream of teasing. Not now, when you were right here, and even though he didn’t get to tell you the words he had memorized, he couldn’t really care. Not when all he could think of at this moment, with his lips wrapped around your clit and tongue prodding at your hole, was you.

“God, so fucking good, missed this fucking pussy”, he mumbled into your dripping core as you gripped his hair tighter and gave in to the inevitable urge to grind against his tongue. 

“I know you’re close baby, come on. Cum for me darling.”

With one last flick of his skilled tongue you were falling over the edge, a rush running through your body that couldn’t compete with any other feeling.

Still in a daze, his chin coated in your wetness, Wonwoo made his way back up your body until his lips were on your neck and his hard cock was grinding against you. 

“Need you Won, need you so bad, please.”

Your voice was barely a whisper, as you ran your nails down his toned back and nipped at his earlobe in a desperate attempt to get him to do something. Anything. Everything.

“I know, I know. Need you too baby, you have no idea.”

He was almost panting, and soon enough his struggling breaths became a long content sigh as your sweet pleas and whines had him pushing into you, your familiar warmth sucking him in.

His thrusts were sharp and deep and fucking perfect. You didn’t want it fast, didn’t want it hard or rough, you wanted it real, wanted it to be just him and you and nothing else.

“Do you know-“

Now he was truly out of breath, heavy sighs and grunts tumbling from his swollen lips right next to your ear as you shut your eyes in pleasure.

“-How much i missed you? Missed you so fucking much, I should have never, fuck, never let anything get in the way.”

God, how nice it felt to know he had missed you. And how nice it felt for someone to finally know how much you had missed him. 

Between a hundred more I missed you-es, you dragged each other through the fall, him after you (ever the gentleman), and between many quick kisses and a few drowsy ones you fell asleep in his arms. 

Just like the very first night.

#jeon wonwoo smut #jeon wonwoo x reader #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #wonwoo fluff #svt x reader #svt smut #wonwoo oneshot #seventeen oneshot #bbygirl🦌

[jjunie-0]

True love…

Summary: Heeseung has been your crush longer than you could remember, But of course you didn’t have him easily. He was head over heels for your best friend, Ivy, When would he waken from his daze and realize YOU were his true love?

Heeseung’s Pov

“Or just a dumbass called Lee Heeseung” Jay mumbled, earning a glare from the older.

Sunghoon spoke, “Okay, but be honest, has Ivy looked in your direction ever?”

“Yea!, remember the high school graduation party?, me and her danced and everything!” Heeseung said in an excited voice. “If you don’t like Y/n let me go chase the love of my life!” Jake blurted, heeseung stared at him.…there was a feeling inside of him.……could it be jealousy? No, of course not! That man was head over heels for Ivy, he couldn’t feel jealous about his friend trying to date his crush’s friend! Heeseung was spiraling with thoughts, yet he finally spoke “Do it, get that annoying brat to stop coming towards me.” Jake was surprised at his answer, “if you say so, the woman isn’t really that bad! She’s sweet, kind, cute, fun, awesome in general!”, heeseung groaned at his reply, “she’s neither of those, she’s a dumb little bitch who won’t leave me alone!” Jay coughed, “You do know those 3 boys she’s always with right?, they’d practically kill you if they heard you just now.”, The older rolled his eyes, “May I remind you, those 3 boys are 03-05 liners. Along with the brat herself! They ain’t gonna do shit.” Sunghoon, Jake, and Jay shared a glance with each other.

Jake was determined to help Y/N fall out of love with heeseung, It broke him seeing her tears fall because of his best friend.

Y/N POV

She had just had the best night of her life with her best friends…No! She considered them her brothers. The night was filled with laughter, cuddles, crying (Watching twilight), ice cream which they fought over which flavor, gaming, and chaos! She’s never smiled this much in her life.

“Let’s play monopoly!” Jungwon suggested and sooner than he expected all four of them were gathered around a monopoly board.

“HE’S IN JAIL IM NOT GIVING MY MONEY TO A CRIMINAL!” “JUST GIVE HIM THE GOD DAMN MONEY!!!” “THATS NOT HOW YOU PLAÆÆÆY!!!!!” “Why are they fighting?” “SHUT UP YOU STOLE MY LAST RAILROAD!” “ARGGG!” Was a good way to put how the game went, let’s just say Monopoly ruins friendships. Later that night, all of them, Riki, Jungwon, Sunoo, and Y/N were cuddled up watching ‘The Lorax’ since Y/N was crying half way thru twilight. Riki smiled softly watching the other three sleep, thinking ‘I’d give the world just to see them happy……’

Read part one and till make more sense lmao, I’m feeling abit insecure about the writing 😅

Taglist: @leaderwon

#enhypen niki #enha imagines #enhypen heeseung #enhypen #enhypen sunoo #enhypen x reader #enhypen jungwon #enhypen jay #enhypen jake #enhypen sunghoon #writing #fanfic #jjunie’s writing

[kumezyzo]

more streamer!reader with bf!sapnap cause i so desperately need it and i promised to get out the christmas cooking stream...

i started writing this like two weeks ago and im just now getting it out cause im so good at procrastinating 😁 but its also kinda short mb

anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list

bf!sapnap that doesnt really listen to you when you tell him hes not doing something right. he will just look at you and forget that you scolded him in the first place.

"nick, you realize you cant put a metal bowl in a microwave, right?"

"huh?" he looks over at you. your face holding a concerned expression as you look at the bowl in his hands. hes silently just thinking about how you called him nick instead of sapnap.

"wait, HOW did you say microwave?"

bf!sapnap that has to remind people at the beginning of the stream that it was your one year anniversary last month. and your one year of being official meeting in person the past week.

bsf!george who randomly starts playful arguements with you. or even just teases you when you and nick are standing near eachother.

"wow, are you two gonna get married now?"

"i dunno, george. are you and dream gonna fuck soon?" you ask pointedly without looking up from the cookie your helping nick cut out. "or profess your undying love to eachother?"

bf!sapnap who would get really angry or sad if your embroidered gingerbread character on his apron got dirty.

"dream!! you got flour on yn!!" he would scream running to the sink to try to wash it off. you would be standing across the room, looking down at yourself in confusion

"your such an idot, sapnap," dream would tell him, shaking his head and laughing.

"oh...i thought you actually meant on me-"

and

"who the fuck got frosting on yn!?" he would scream again, stomping over to the sink to wash it off.

"baby, its orange..." you tell him, glancing at george and dream from across the island, trying to hide your smile.

"and?"

"youre the only one using orange..."

bf!sapnap who feels bad when you start running around, trying to clean up the mess they made from decorating the cookies.

"yn, just leave it."

"no, its fine," you tell him with a smile. "i need a clean working space."

"but-"

"nick, let me clean."

dream kinda helps dw

bsf!dream who accidentally bumps into you, causing you to turn around and pretend to square up to him.

"come at me bro!" you say, looking up at him and standing in front of him.

he looks down at you and puffs out his chest and flexes his arms. you do the same and squint your eyes up at him.

"what? got nothin to say?!"

he then lightly pushes your shoulder and you dramatically stumble backwards. you place your hand on your 'wounded' shoulder and look at him in betrayal.

"h-how could you...?"

"you guys are so stupid-"

bf!sapnap who holds your waist when hes has to get past you. or just reaches out to touch your hip if there is space to walk by. or lightly pats your ass when he walks away from standing next to you.

"chat is saying sapnap slapped yn's bum," george says in disgust covered by an accusatory lilt.

"i dont know what theyre talking about," nick says, a smile slowly spreading on his lips.

"wait, chat, is that true?"

"i bet he did," dream comments, ammused.

"wait they're saying he did!"

bf!sapnap who says the gingerbread house he's making is what you two are gonna raise your kids in.

"peaches, this is our house."

"our? as in you and i?" you ask looking at the mess of cookies and frosting.

"and these are our kids..." he says concentrating on putting two m&ms on the front lawn of the sugary house.

"wait, kids-"

chat! who asks about why nick calls you peaches.

"yeah, thats an amazing questions, actually," george says, looking up at you two.

the two of you glance at eachother before looking back down at your gingerbread houses.

"wait, what was that look?" dream asks with a laugh.

"i dunno. nick, you tell them," you say trying to keep your face neutral. "im not the one that came up with it."

"wait, nick, dont you also call her mamas?"

"dream, shut the-"

bf!sapnap who hugs you from behind when he sees how sleep youre starting to get.

"are you tired, ma?" he whispers in your ear.

"no... im good," you say, smiling with drowsy eyes.

he kisses the side of your head and gives your hip a little tap before moving to stand with dream.

i actually kinda like this one. i mightve made reader too much like me so im sorry... yea idk i like it so... yeaa...... comment, like, reblog idfk -Nony

#sapnap x reader #sapnap x you #dteam #sapnap fluff #sapnap x y/n #sapnap x streamer reader #sapnap #sapnap x streamer #dteam x reader #dream #george #yuh

[pebiejeebies]

Spoilers below!! Watch iii18 <33

DID ANYONE NOTICE ALL THE KINDNESS THAT WAS TOWARDS CABBY?? AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DID?!

*sry for these two agh—*

SORRY I HAD TO— LOOK AT THEM 😭😭‼️‼️

BACK TO THE RAMBLES

YOU GO BOT!! BEAT HIS ASS!!

LOOAAADDSS OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS I DIDNT EXPECT GETTING AFTER THIS EPISODE

Ramble below if you’re interested <3

OKAY SO WHAT-

THE AMMOUNT OF RECOGNITION, FORGIVENESS, AND LITERAL CONFUSION WITH CABBY’S GOOD AND BAD THINGS IN THIS EPISODE WAS SO FUCKING AWESOME

EVEN PAINTBRUSH, FAN, AND TESTTUBE, WHO WERE THE BIGGEST ENEMIES, WERE SLIGHTLY ON HER SIDE! AND EVEN SUPPORTED HER CHANGE!!

LIKE— AND WHEN BOT MENTIONED HOW HARD IT MUSTVE BEEN FOR CABBY TO REJOIN AFTER BEING ELIMINATED BY LITERALLY EVERYONE (MAINLY TESTTUBE) IS ACTUALLY TRUE

YOU REJOIN TO PEOPLE WHO DONT WANT TO SEE YOU TALK OR EVEN BREATHE AFTER WHAT YOU DID, THEN YOU START AN ALLIANCE TO KEEP YOURSELF IN THE GAME WITH SO MUCH HATE AIMED TOWARDS YOU WITH SOMEONE WHO WILL GET ELIMINATED TOO—

THEN SHE SLOWLY AND STEADILY STARTS TO WALK ON THE RIGHT PATH!! SHE NOTICED HER WRONGS, AND STARTED WITH YINYANG, SHE MADE A HEALTHY FRIENDSHIP! AND THEN BOT! TWO HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS THAT SHE DIDNT EXPECT TO EVEN FIGHT FOR HER SAKE

THE SHOCK IN HER FACE WHEN YINYANG, CLOVER, AND BOT WERE CONFUSED ABOUT HER BAD SIDE WAS LITERALLY HEART WARMINGGGG IM GONNA EXPLODE

WORST PART? SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW THAT ANYONE IS PROTECTING HER IN THAT JAIL!! SHE KNOWS THAT SHE MADE TOO MUCH OF A WRONG AND DOESNT THINK ANYONE WOULD FIGHT FOR HER!! (Other than balloon,, yikes man,, only two votes 😭)

Okay but let’s be fr, we all collectively got angry from Nickel in this scene right?? RIGHT????

LUCKYYYYYYY??? LUUUUUUUCCCCKKKYYYYYY???? ME OH MY. ME AND CABBY HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON, AND THATS NEVER LUCK! EVEN IF HE DOESNT KNOW THAT SHE STRUGGLED, THAT DOESNT GIVE HIM ANY RIGHT TO DESTROY SOMEONE ELSES STRUGGLES BY COMPARING THEM TO OTHERS!! YES I GET IT, HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

BUT THIS IS JUST.. PATHETIC 😭

HE’S TRYING TO MAKE BALLOON WIN WHEN IN REALITY, NOBODY AGREES, AND HIM FIGHTING FOR BALLOON ENDS UP BY HIM SAYING ACTUAL BULLSHIT AFTERWARDS

YEAH WE GET IT, YOU LOVE BALLOON AND ADMIRE HIS CHANGE, BUT NICKEL, ONLY YOU NOTICED. HES ANGRY THAT NOBODY CARES WHEN THEY ALL HAVE A POINT!!

THEY ONLY SAW THE BAD SIDES OF BALLOON, AND NOT TO MENTION, BALLOON AND NICKEL!! THESE TWO TORE UP POOR BOT AND DIDNT EVEN SAY MUCH TO THEM!

I admire your care for them Nickel, but actually fucking wake up. Like please, get over your blindness and realize that literally NOBODY saw his arc and how he changed

WOOH. That was a slight vent there lmao.. guess who hates nickel guys…

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, THE OVERALL FUSS WITH CABBY IS ACTUALLY PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME! LOOK AT HER, SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW THAT BOT AND YINYANG ARE FIGHTING THEIR SOULS OUT TO MAKE HER WIN 😭😭‼️

*ahem look at balloon here aweee <3*

AND LIKE.. THAT SAYS SO MUCH ABOUT HER GUYS, SHE’S HURT, AND SHE KNOWS SHE HURT OTHERS, AND SHE FULLY EXPECTS EVERYONE TO VOTE BALLON OR SILVER OVER HER, NOT KNOWING THE TWO PEOPLE SHE HELPED ARE ACTUALLY HELPING HER BACK AND HELPING OTHERS REALIZE THE VERY SHINY OBVIOUS CHOICE FOR THE WINNER!!

THINK ABOUT IT, BALLOON? HE DID GREAT, BUT HE TOOK, JUST A LITTLE TOO LONG TO CHANGE, AND HIS CHANGE WASNT NOTICED BECAUSE LITERALLY EVERYONE WAS ELIMINATED, AND/OR WAS HIDDEN BEHIND THE FIGHTS THAT NICKEL AND BALLOON HAD! NOBODY SEES ANYTHING IN HIM BECAUSE OF THIS, AND PROBABLY NOBODY WILL VOTE HIM OTHER THAN NICKEL AND GOO (Which I think personally, goo is only voting balloon because of his poetry, which.. really says something about balloon don’t you think?)

Now SILVERSPOON?? DO I EVEN NEED TO TALK?! HIS FAT FUCKING EGO LITERALLY TORE UP FRIENDSHIPS, MANIPULATED, HURT, AND PROBABLY FUCKING KILLED HIS WIFE

DO I NEED TO CONTINUE ON HIM? NO, IM SURE EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT IM SAYING. RIGHT..??

Maybe I love seeing myself (a cabby kin) get recognition after all the struggles she goes through, but let’s be fr, Balloon? Not really, SILVERSPOON?? HELL FUCKING NO.

That’s why BOT and YINYANG WERE FRUSTRATED!!!! They’re all blind to his fucking ‘Inner flame’ or whatever, which then led his wife, and probably Mephone into so much more fucking trouble. And that infuriates the two that literally lasted so long and saw her grow from each challenge!

They’re frustrated because the obvious option is being pushed away by silver-spoon, again, with the manipulation and the tricks! AGAIN!! to try and win something that you don’t deserve (which is nothing, so like yeowch) is kinda frustrating

As much as I want cabby to win, what will she win? After all this struggle she went through, watching everyone villainize her, as she thought she was genuinely caring to help her team, and to barely survive the votes with yinyang, which then got eliminated, she then struggled to fix her friendship with bot, who both shared an equal struggle with testtube

The actual fact that bot is literally fighting their mom is wild, EVEN FAN EXPECTED THEM TO FORGIVE EACH OTHER!!

But after all of this, she really didn’t win anything

if we remove her boyfriend, (yinyang) and bff forever and ever (Bot) she sorta doesn’t win much, which really sucks

But hey, even balloon has someone to talk to, imagine being silverspoon

Even if he wins, he will LITERALLY win nothing, and good golly gosh Test tube and Paintbrush I’d like to hear why the hecking heck you’d vote for him?? Seriously? All that flattery worked THAT well?!

They do know that he’s manipulating them.. RIGHHTTT??? MAYBE IM JUST VERY FRUSTRATED THAT NOT EVERYONE WANST THE OBVIOUS WINNER TO WIN BUT HEY IM NOT WRONG!!!

I’ll gladly fight with yinyang and bot for cabby‼️‼️‼️

Alright thanks for listening to my Ted talk. Farewell, and do tell me on what you think if you have something to share :D

#osc #golden #object show community #object shows #inanimate insanity #objectshow #cabby inanimate insanity #ii yinyang #yin yang #balloon ii #cabby ii #fan ii #ii balloon #ii bot #ii cabby #ii candle #ii clover #ii fan #ii silver spoon #ii spoilers #ii test tube #nickel ii #paintbrush ii #ii paintbrush #test tube ii #silver spoon ii

[chickenoptyrx]

You do so right by z Broly, you understand his potential. Your au with him and Trunks is a delight

Glad we all appreciate my blatant misrepresentation of the character 😌 im partly joking but man fr, 12 year old me would hate that instead of him bein a badass edgy monster, I draw him as.. *checks notes* .. an immature loser with bad coping mechanisms uwu

Ok but in true ask tradition! :U im hijacking this ask to talk about a dumb theory thats been rolling around in my head for like 2 years now: android 16 and broly similarities:

Ok so. If you aren't aware. The android arc of dragon ball was originally going to focus on the androids 19 & 20 and trunks even names them specifically

But Toriyamas former editor, Kazuhiko Torishima, didn't like them as the main antagonists and so Toriyama changed it to focus on 17 & 18 as the bad guys and introduced 16 as a sort of mystery

Now. This gets almost completely dropped once that same former editor ALSO doesn't like these androids and cell becomes the main villian for the arc (yeah yeah, the bomb thing is technically *there*, but its so inconsequential most people forget its even a thing :T )

So. Idk exactly when movie 8 went into production, but we know Brolys LSSJ form was inspired by trunks SSJ grade3 form that appears several chapters after cell has been introduced and the androids have become power-up fodder, so im gonna argue its safe to say the decision to move away from their story had been made

(side tangent that I find absolutely hilarious btw- despite gokus commentary in the HTC, SSJ grade 3 was the strongest form of ssj we saw at this point, so its pretty appropriate to use it as the basis of the strongest scariest ssj form.... rrriiiiiiiiggght up until toriyama introduced SSJ2 on Feb 2, 1993- near exactly 1 month before the first Broly movie hit theaters. Completely undermined what, up til then, looked like a trend in stronger form = bigger and beefier right as the big beefy strongest guy ever movie came out 🤣 absolutely love it!)

So anyways. The movies overall also tend to have varying degrees of similarities with recent arcs in the show and Toriyama, while not overly involved, would give the studio designs and story notes. And. Idk. Yall can tell me im reaching if ya want, but: A guy who's made into a weapon by his father who's on a quest for revenge and has this conflicting view of his son as both someone he feels he failed to protect, someone he cares about, but also as a tool for that revenge, and someone who's destructive power hes become deeply afraid of.. now where have we seen somethin like that 🤔 may be an extra reach but I also think its neat that despite their different face shape, Toriyamas gave em the same expression

Lol they're also both just ridiculously tall bastards. Like for no gd reason. And yeah, to me atleast, it explains why hating goku specifically gets shoehorned into brolys backstory (listen I can absolutely do the mental gymnastics to make it make sense! I'm fine with it! Its fine! I actually like it! ... but it IS a dumb shoehorned plot point! Both things can be true D:< ) look just lookit these tall ass shits

Anyway. My last note is just this statement from Toriyama about 16 and Gero. The way gero is presented is really in line with how I see Paragus as this tragic failure of a father- honestly caring about his kid, but letting grief and revenge drive him into conflicting corners where he wants revenge FOR the life denied his son, but also actively shaping his son into such a terrifying weapon that ultimately hed rather his kid just never be conscious cause thats the 'only way to keep them safe'

“Dr. Gero’s son who died young a long time ago served as the visual model for Android 16. He was a high-ranking soldier for the Red Ribbon Army but was shot down by the enemy. Dr. Gero reserved special feelings for 16 as “his son,” and although he equipped 16 with immense power and a frightening destructive device, he didn’t want to see him be defeated on the battlefield and thus programmed him to have a gentle personality. 16 was consequently considered a failed creation.” The smaller caption below Toriyama’s quote reads: “Was the reason Dr. Gero didn’t want to activate 16 perhaps because of his parental love to not see him destroyed?”

#asks #rant barely related to the ask :D #i just think its neat #if 16 wasnt such a pain in the ass to draw from MOST angles #id probably draw him more #but broly just sparks so much joy to draw #really cant beat it #just a fun design #android 16 #broly #dumb nothing theory that means nothing #ask

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Okay, second post, this ones mostly about Feyre because honestly, as of chapter 3 I havent really noticed Tamlin being out of character and from what Ive heard his character assassination was supposed to happen very quickly. Idk, right now he just seems like the same guy but traumatized although I'll fully admit that I didnt care that much for him outside of the Feylin romance (which was pretty sweet but too boring for me) so maybe I just didnt pay enough attention to him to fully grasp his character

Feyre is frustrating to me right now because I dont think shes out of character either, right now shes also just the same woman but traumatized, but like, I already know the extent to which her character will be bent for the sake of Rhysand. In these first three chapters she literally thinks something along the lines of "What's there for me to do but sit at home and spend Tamlin's money" Tell me, what does she end up doing in the night court huh????

Another thing thats frustrating is that Feyre clearly has issues communicating her feelings and wants, I know because I also had issues with that, and instead of learning that very valuable skill of telling others about your inner world and trying to work on her relationships (with both Tamlin and with her sisters), shes just gonna end up with a guy who can read her mind so theres no need for her to challenge herself and grow in any way. Yay. One thing especially stuck out to me in this regard was her attituide towards wearing dresses. Feyre does not like wearing dresses, its not like she never got to wear them back at home even though she wanted to, she just doesnt like wearing them in her day-to-day life, but she feels like she has to because she thinks its what Tamlin wants and because she thinks that if she wears pants its gonna somehow signal to the citizens of the spring court that something is incredibly wrong. But again, she doesnt tell anyone this, she doesnt ask Tamlin if he can just explain to everyone that everything is fine and that Feyre just has an unconventional way of dressing, which he would probably be fine with if its still the same guy from the first book. And it doesnt even seem like Tamlin directly made any kind of comment to her about the dresses she wears, she just saw that he was happy when he saw her wear them, which couldve well been him being happy to see her in general but she doesnt even consider that

Theres also the fact that its very unclear what she wants/what her problem is. Now, this actually isnt something that bothers me that much on its own, Feyre is traumatized and lost, obviously she doesnt know exactly what she wants at this point beyond "the situation Im in sucks and makes me feels bad, I want to get out", I think what bothers me is mostly the knowledge that Tamlin is gonna get blamed for a lot of this stuff when its really not his fault.

And I do want to make it clear that I dont think hes doing a great job handling this situation, I know a lot of people in the acotar critical sphere find his actions understandable and justifiable from his perspective and thats true, but hes still doing a bad job handling Feyre's emotional state. Like, one of your beloved's main issues is that she feels horrible because she feels trapped at home, for the love of god just let her go outside on her own. Maybe send her to village thats far inland or close to the border to the mortal realm, surely those monsters are not gonna manage to come that far if youre all going on patrols to kill them as soon as possible. And even if they do, the people of any village are gonna bend over backwards in order to protect their capital c Cursebreaker, shes gonna be fine

But, to get back to my original point, even if Tamlin was a daemati or whatever like Rhys and could read her mind the way she needs it to be read, he would still not be able to figure out what exactly Feyre needs right now because she doesnt know it herself! I literally read all of her thoughts and I dont know! Does she want to help others and be responsible for a whole bunch of people because its what shes always known to do? Does she want to avoid resonsibility for now because she wants to recover from her traumatic childhood of having the responsibility of keeping her family alive on top of all the new UTM-trauma? Its hard to say and that makes sense for Feyre at this point in her life, but she cant just blame people for not understanding her when she doesnt properly understand herself and refuses tl verbalize her feelings

Anyway, thats it for today, hope you enjoyed this

#anti acomaf #anti sjm #anti feysand #feyre critical #tamlin critical #flames and darkness liveblog

[pillarsalt]

hi Im the same ex transmasc anon who sent you that aask about rhe tumblr ban thing, I did a lot of reading without forcing myself away this time. (I used to look at radblr sometimes bc I got curious, but when it started making too much sense i would make myself stop reading and tell myself I was being manipulated and try to forget about it..looking back that probably wasnt normal haha,)

I have mixed feelings tho. I don’t regret looking closer, the amount of sexism in the trans community was horrible. I think even radfems don’t understand how bad it was because it was all subtle styff. But seeing it constantly irl and online was terrible for me as a female. It gave me so much internalized misogyny, it made me hate myself and I felt worthless and stupid! and whiny! and annoying! all the time!! unless I was able to be perceived as a man. I felt like I had to be a man to have any respect in the community. I remember being so amazed to see abortion be covered by trans people I followed in even a reblog because it was the first time I saw people in the community talk about female issues at all. Even then it was covered with disclaimers and terfs DNI banners. male,opinions were always prioritized.

I thought this was dysphoria and a sign I was really a man. then I started reading radfem things and its like that feeling instantly lifted. I felt respected, listened to, even though I wasn’t speaking. It was also like all this stuff I’d internalized from being female, all the trauma around sex based oppression, was actually being addressed. in trans circles you get called a terf for acknowledging females face any kind of oppression (they acknowledge sex when it’s to talk about how hard male loneliness is on young trans women, and how the incel to trans woman pipeline happens, though…)

but the reason I have mixed feelings is bc I now feel….dumb? And afraid. And angry. I spend well over a decade being part of this community, half my friends are in the community, I’ve been trans since I was 9. My typings not the best… dyslexia sucks lol. But I like to think I’m smart. Now I don’t know,

And it makes me think totally different of these people I saw as progressive cis male allies, who were so loud about trans rights and hating JKR and terfs. Now they just feel like the same flavor of anti-feminist man I hate.

And the community is so huge and it’s so widely accepted and I don’t know how to deal!

But I am happy to be a woman now. In a healthy way I haven’t been for a long time. thats all that matters.

I'm sorry for everything you were put through. Many girls and women have been sucked into this thinking it will provide a solution for their distress at the social ramifications of the body they're born in, only for more people, namely men, to take advantage of their distress and gain power over them. As you mentioned, even "cis" men get in on the action when they justify intimidating and threatening women with violence in response to perceived transphobia. It's a terrible situation to be in. Made worse when you can't openly talk about with people you're close to for fear of alienating them.

I think you should give yourself more credit. You ARE smart. You questioned what you were told was never allowed to be questioned and realized you were being misled. And what you said about trying to make yourself forget the realizations you've had, that is normal. It's a difficult and scary thing to hold opinions that conflict with those of the majority of your peers. I think it's like the climax of cognitive dissonance -- when what you know is true clashes so hard against what you want to believe, you find it impossible to justify anymore, so you just resort to pretending you never learned the information in the first place. Been there.

I'm just being a stereotype now, but there's a classic Dworkin quote for this:

"Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships."

Anyway my point is, don't beat yourself up. I'm really happy to read that you're accepting your womanhood, it's a hard journey but it's worth it to have a good relationship with yourself. And in my experience (at the sage and wisened age of 25) that it gets easier as you get older. You work through mistakes, and that prepares you to handle the next mistake better. You're right, your health and happiness is all that matters, keep striving for that and it will steer you right.

I wanted to give you some reading recommendations, you mentioned you have dyslexia but I believe these two are available in audiobook form if that's up your alley:

Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference by Cordelia Fine

Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez

There are tons more great books on feminism but these two are my go-tos for hard facts on gender, socialization, and the systematic discrimination against women worldwide through biases that are built into society.

Well uh; TLDR thanks for gracing my inbox, anon :) Hope you keep well.

#ask

[the-s1lly-corner]

Seeing Kinger stuff is so nice gosh! Would it be cool to get the rest of the fluff alphabet with him please? Or if that's too much the ones you'd like to write about most

Kinger fluff alphabet! the whole thing!

two things one is more so one of my personal woe things unrelated to you but i deleted my masterlist immediately after finishing it because i didnt like the layout of it; 3 hours down the drain SOBS other thing! imma go ahead and link the other fluff alphabet stuff so its a complete list! actually third surprise thing, WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME I ACCIDENTALLY FORGOT TO PUT P IN THE FLUFF ALPHABET/lh/nm i fixed it now but i cant believe i skipped a letter i feel so dumb

ABSTRACT- if you were to ever abstract he would probably abstract himself. i mean if the things about queener/queenie are true and they were close, then that would mean this guy would lose a loved one TWICE. that would most definitely break someone, and kinger is already on the edge as it is. if he somehow doesnt abstract, he probably becomes even more paranoid; kind of shutting everyone out almost because he sure as hell knows he cant take a third heartbreak. rarely ever leaves his pillow fort, unless hes physically dragged out? sometimes he forgets you're gone, because he just refuses to believe the truth. sad stuff

BONDING- will rattle on and on about cool bug facts, if he has his own collection in his room he will show you it! maybe, if you want, he will let you hold some of the critters! tells a lot of stories, nicer ones from when things in the circus arent so... bad.. usually when hes in a good headspace! you get the feeling he embellishes his stories... not too different from a grandfather trying to make his experiences seem more glamorous and action packed than they really were

CUDDLING- he is very hard, due to him being a chess piece, but his clothes do a really good job at softening him! no arms :(... usually rests his hands on your back, or maybe has one on your shoulder and the other on your hip. switches between being big and little spoon, sometimes he wants to hold and sometimes he wants to be held

DATES- you can find them here!

EMOTION- kinger is... odd... im not sure where he lies, because i think sometimes he does have moments where he remembers thing and it overwhelms him, so that may be the main time hes the emotional one. however, i guess this entire time for emotional ive been focusing on more.. 'bad' emotions, but i think kinger would gush about how much he loves you, like WOAH! he is just overflowing with feelings right now

FAMILY- honestly he gives me dad vibes, if this dude doesnt already have kids in the real world (wow thats a sad thought... dude is like MIA probably and his kids are left to wonder where he went. double owie if queener/queenie was his real life wife before things happened) so if you guys make it back to the real world and unite, you're gonna be a step parent! would he like to have more kids with you? i think it depends, he would want it, though!

GIFT- you know how some people put bugs in like, cases to preserve them or something? i feel like he would give you those with some of his prettier bugs! loves anything you give him, he always keeps them stored safe in his room!

HARSH- you guys dont really get into arguments, i dont think! kinger doesnt like hiding things from you unless its something deeply personal, but otherwise hes an open book to you

IN HOUSE ADVENTURE- here!

JEALOUSY- its not so much as him being jealous as it is him being paranoid that something is going to happen to him or you, so! even if he wasnt worrying himself half to death he doesnt exactly seem like the jealous type to me, tbh

KISS- its time for my favorite thing for characters with no mouth!!! he boinks his face into yours, i actually wrote something for this! not gonna link it since its so short and i can easily relay the idea: but he would internally hype himself up (usually does this if this is the beginning of the relationship, he gets more confident as time goes on!), and just lightly 'pecks' your cheek before pulling away. loves kissing your cheeks as well as the back of your hands. loves being kisses where his mouth would be as well as his cheeks

LOVE LANGUAGE- quality time!! this man follows you around like a love sick puppy, because he loves you so much but also because again, he worries.. he also likes doing acts of service for you, makes him feel like hes capable of doing things on his own (which he is!). loves it when you return the favor via words of affirmation

MENDED- is he dreaming? is he imagining things again?

nope, its really you. somehow, you've recovered from abstracting, and you're now out of the cellar. he wants to hold you and never ever ever let you go, out of fear that hes going to come to his senses any second and youll be gone. wants to keep you in the pillow fort with him, or at least within his line of sight

NO- its less of an active dealbreaker and more of a "hey this is going to stress him out and probably hurt his mental health" but like, i dont think he would pair well with a really really intense person. like sure caien is pretty intense, but its not like caine is going to be spending a significant amount of time with him everyday, but like. you know? like i talk about some characters enjoying being on their toes and left guessing in regards to their partner, but kinger is NOT one of those people. he needs stability

PDA- less of a case where he actively and knowingly indulges in PDA and more so a case where he subconsciously holds onto your hand to keep you at arms length and to feel you. due to his lack of arms he has probably wandered off without you (and his hand) at least once. is not opposed to PDA, though, so long as its not like. insane

QUIET TIME- quiet time between the two of you is very rare. sure kinger can be very quiet when hes alone, but when hes alone with someone else, someone he cares so much about.. he cant help but fill the silence with words, to keep the ringing in his ears at bay .. so really quiet time is talking time

ROSES- ill mention it again in V (i wrote v before this section), he loves giving you roses especially on special occations! loves receiving flowers as well, he seems like a rose kind of guy as well

SHH- the one thing he doesnt like talking about is queener/queenie, well, more so the last few days leading up to her abstraction. it brings up. well, memories. on one hand he doesnt want to forget her, but on the other hand he doesnt want to bare the pain of those terrible memories

TUNES- THIS THIS THIS THIS ONE ALWAYS COME TO MY HEAD WHEN I THINK OF ROMANTIC HCS FOR SWEETIDEAS FOR OLDER GUYS IDK WHY

UPSET- im going back and forth with a lot of these as i fill in the list so! tying this in with E, i mention one of the only times he gets emotional is when he remembers some unfortunate events that took place in the circus. you're going to need to console him and bring him back to the present moment :(. when you're upset he tries to distract you, takes you to his fort, and tells you stories

VALENTINE- on the chance that he remembers what day it is, hes going to give you the most sterotypical date he can give to you. i think it might be because i can kind of see kinger as like, a classic/stereotypical romantic when it comes to you. flowers, he cant take you out to dinner so he takes you out to the digital lake to gaze at the clouds and watch the bugs pass

WANT- he wants a companion, he wants stability, and thats something he needs. he wants someone to be compassionate about him, his wellbeing, and his interests

XOXO- here! as well as Yearn!

ZZZ- if you guys go to sleep together its always in his room, where hes more comfortable. he also has a thing where he insists on being the one closer to the door; almost as if hes offering himself as protection to you should someone unwanted to come in. huh. always sleep holding onto you, snores like a dad

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #kinger imagine #kinger x you #kinger x reader

[gale-gentlepenguin]

So I know Representation came out today. And any good fan would wait a week before reviewing it as we still have episode 23 to watch.

GOOD THING IM A DEGENERATE

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 24 Representation

spoilers below

-So as expected, Chloé didnt stay mayor long. But Apparently Ms.Bustier is running for Mayor and might win

-Oh its the Fencing teacher/ guy who was Darkblade. Well clearly Ms.Bustier is going to win

-And Adrien and Kagami are a power couple? But Adrien is watching the news report while they are in London. Something seems VERY off

-Ah, Gabriel is behind it. And Adrien HATES it.

-"By letting your father decide your life and selling your story through a fake narrative as usual." DAMN Plagg holds no punches

-Plagg appologized though.

-Kagami is also pissed about it

-HEY ITS FELIX/ARGOS

-Wait ... is that really my chaotic son? HEARTS ON WINDOWS.

-Thats adorable, WTF

-Okay so THEY got some development.

-Adrien deciding to just say f*** it. He is heading to paris and Telling Marinette he's chat noir!

-Marinette back in paris looks miserable. Poor baby girl. Also its a lovely dress.

-Marinette has been crying. I am going to kill Gabriel

-Marinette being strong for her friends to enjoy this dance. Thats really big of her.

-Unfortunately, Spotlight.

-Wait, how did Argos and Kagami get to Paris BEFORE Astrochat? Unless they left much earlier but even then. My bet is Argos made a sentimonster that would warp them places... but that seems like BS.

-KAGAMI KNOWS MARINETTE IS LADYBUG?! Since perfection. Damn.

-KAGAMI TOLD FELIX!?!?!?! FELIX?!?!?! Okay I am a bit salty about that

-OH S***! THEY KISSED. The Feligami stans are Eating today.

-Felix is dressed like Adrien? Oh I do not like where this seems to be going.

-And Marinette thought she saw Adrien and wants to go after him while her friends are thanking her for everything she's done. Way to ruin a good moment FELIX you ass!

-Side note, WHY is Marinette the only one in a dress? Like its a dance? Why couldnt everyone Have dressed up? Seriously, I know outfit renders are expensive. DID THE KITCHEN COST THAT MUCH?

-Marinette avoiding the Lesbian bee and accidentally interrupting the Bi artist and writer. Sure is Pride month in Paris.

-Okay this is just cruel. Marinette thinks she is having a break down over this. Side note. WHY ISNT ADRIEN ACTUALLY HERE YET? HE IS ASTROCHAT!

-Alya and Nino trying to comfort her. But she aint listening.

-Adrien and Kagami escaped and the parents are pissed

-Oh no Nathalie looks really bad right now. Poor thing. All she can do is watch videos of her true love Emilie

-He took the ring back, guess now that Nathalie is too weak to fight him. Which really brings up the question, WHAT HAPPENED in the last episode that Nathalie took such a turn.

-Gabriel is being a d*** as usual

-Nightormentor sounds like a cool name. And while I thought the color scheme is weird... its probably the best akumatized form Gabriel has taken. Sad but true

-AND OF COURSE RIGHT AS SHE LEAVES ASTROCAT ARRIVES. I know its plot convenience but thats bull s***

-"His father CANT have that much control of him" Oh if only you knew Nino

-And BOOM! Gabriel the bitch agreste arrives

-I am liking Rose so much recently. She is calling out EVERYONE

-So he basically has the powers of Sandboy mixed with Darkerowl

-the guy has the power to make you experience VERY intrusive thoughts. That is evil

-Chat noir is like "Hey ladybug gonna go beat up my father text me later"

-Dude Felix must be an Olympic speed walker

-Marinette is basically being nightormented without that bastard even being here. Felix, Kagami this is just a jerk move.

Duusu: "This is so sad" Felix: "Dont worry its for Our happy ending" Duusu: F*** yea lets keep it up

-Oh he made a sentimonster... wait. I know its not human but like a sentimonster MAKING sentimonsters. Feels even more f***ed up

-THEY ARE DOING A F***ING PLAY FOR HER!?

-OH MY GOSH! ITS THE STORY OF EMILIE AND AMELIE!

-Meanwhile, Chat noir is working through his daddy issues.

-Back to the play

-Oh this is interesting.

-Oh and we find out Felix's dad was a rich Cowboy. But also an asshole. (Oh right, this is a French Cartoon, thats why American's suck in this)

-Back to Adrien fighting his father

-This is Cathartic watching Chat noir beat Gabriel's ASS

-HE WAS GOING TO CATACLYSM HIS DAD! Adrien, my boy. Patricide adrien? Well Monarch is still alive, so I guess you think it wouldnt kill him. BTW, Monarch should have had ptsd from that.

-And Chat noir got hit, so his worst fear is... and cuts back to the play

-Oh the twins were infertile. Emilie returned to try and get medical help but still nothing.

-The peacock, that was the sentimonster reference

-Oh so THATS how Gabriel got Gorilla to guard adrien.

-Also yea, any doubt that they arent sentimonsters is dead now.

-ITS CHAT BLANC WITH BLUE HAIR!?

-Oh s*** that is f***ed up.

-"It will end if you give me your miraculous"

-"Take it." ADRIEN NO!

-Oh so thats why Felix's dad was an a**hole. Okay I will give this credit. That is something.

-Welp this explains why Felix might be a sociopath

-Felix revealing why he did what he did

-THE RESISTANCE! COMING IN CLUTCH

-THE TRAY!

-ALYA JUMPED ON HIS BACK.

-They got the akuma in a jar.

-Wait, Chat noir defeated an akuma without Ladybug. (sure he had outside help, but Ladybug has done that too). Good on him

-WELL S*** THAT WAS TRIPPY.

-Felix and Kagami asked for Marinette's help. so was that all the sentimonster doing so? I am lost

-Okay so, I may not LIKE exactly how they went about it. But I cant really hate them for what they did. They are just kids that want to pick someone they trust.

-Oh s***, Ladybug never cast miraculous cure. So Adrien has some perminant trauma from the fight with Nightormentor. He still sees the antichat visions (its not chat blanc, and its just reverse color pallet)

-Chat noir left. before he could tell her. Cause the nightmare messed with him

-WAIT DID TOMOE AND GABRIEL JUST LOCK THEIR CHILDREN IN STERILE ROOMS? WTF!

_________________________________________________________

Okay! This episode was A LOT.

Well there is no denying Sentimonster theory. Its confirmed. Its done. 100% GUARANTEE NO MONEY BACK.

It did explain a LOT about Felix and Adrien.

So I am still iffy on how it was handled.

Now this DOES NOT justify Felix's Actions. He was still an a**hole. And Kagami shouldnt have told Felix. Marinette is Ladybug. That was NOT her secret to tell.

BUT the play that explained what happened was very well done. It explained a LOT about the Graham de Vanily family and Felix's a**hole father.

I will say that I hated how tortured Marinette was during this. Felix and Kagami could have done something less cruel to lure her there.

I also greatly enjoyed Chat noir vs Nightormentor. very good catharsis and we have Adrien going through some additional mental trauma, inflicted by his father (I wouldnt call it Ironic, more of EXPECTED)

I give it 7.5/10

I will say its the most I have enjoyed the second half of this season since Emotion.

#ml #ml spoilers #gale reviews #miraculous ladybug #ml representation #ml representation spoilers #feligami