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ragingstillness · 1 year

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Finally getting around to watching the newest season of Ted Lasso and I’ve just finished 4-5-1, where we first meet Zava and I have thoughts.

I’ve seen spoilers for the whole season but everything I’ve seen about him indicated that he was a 2D character. A sort of, Jamie if Jamie had no soul, sort of character. But I never should have underestimated the Ted Lasso writers so he’s deeper than that.

Before anyone says anything, this is not me stanning Zava, I still think he’s an asshole and doesn’t deserve to be on the team, but I find his character fascinating.

He gives me the vibe that if this show was a different genre, he would be the main character. If this was a sports movie about a superstar no one saw coming, with unusual ways of getting into the zone, and how he copes with fame, Zava would be the main character and no one else would be even a little important.

But that isn’t the genre we’re in, so he comes off as out of place. Like he’s been plucked from a different story and dropped into this one and refuses to adapt. And that’s clearly on purpose, we’re supposed to feel like he doesn’t fit.

But he still has some of the characteristics of a sports movie protagonist. In that first meeting with the team where he stands in front of Ted over and over he says he’s about to address the most important person in the room. Everything we’ve seen of him up until this point implies that he’s about to talk about himself. But no, he says the kitman. Will, who even the team has ignored in the past. And think about the contrast between this proclamation and the way Nate was treated when he was the kitman. Objectively, this is a nice thing for Zava to do. There’s no asshole connotation, he certainly seems to mean it, and it makes Will happy.

When Zava first meets Ted he asks Ted to mold him. From what I’ve seen, I do think Zava is being sincere here. He’s just not a very socially aware person. His version of “molding” is different from everyone else’s. But he’s not saying it to be ironic, or sarcastic, he genuinely means it. This coupled with the forehead touch to Higgins, it’s all strikingly sincere, if not socially aware. He’s so full of himself that other people don’t really exist. His actions are performative, he is the only person who judges himself and he judges every action to be good because he’s that arrogant. It’s the kind of mindset that is sort of healthy and sort of not. If Zava was taking part in an individual sport, like long jump or diving, this mindset would be more healthy. It’s because he’s playing a team sport that it isn’t.

Even his acknowledgement to Keeley that his actions have made her job harder, while it feels more deliberately manipulative in wording, it’s still relatively sincere.

He’s doing the “right” things for the wrong context.

Kicking from the halfway line and not including any of his teammates in his success: right action for an individual sport, display of talent, not right for the context of a team sport.

Stealing the goal from Jamie: display of talent, extra assurance the goal is going in, an action focused on winning above all else, not right for the genre.

It’s so fascinating to me that he’s not necessarily malicious, he’s just wrong.

And the fact that it comes off that way is brilliant writing and acting. Even without Jamie and Roy beginning to look at all of this askance, I’d recognize that something was wrong from the way the character was written alone.

It’s a brilliant writing choice, to introduce a character that is simultaneously sincere, honest, dedicated, arrogant, ignorant, and unaware.

He reminds me a little bit of Izzy from OFMD (nobody kill me for this comparison) in that he’s just not genre savvy. He’s in the wrong genre, wrong context, so while he’s not technically wrong, he still is, within the story.

Anyway those are my thoughts, feel free to weigh in.

#ted lasso season three spoilers #Ted lasso spoilers #Ted lasso #ted lasso season 3 #Ted lasso season three #zava #Ted lasso meta

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pommunist · 5 days

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(Désolée pour le pavé, j'avais plus de choses à dire que je pensais)

I mean, I understand that the long anon wants to trust Q and the QSMP, because I truly think that we ALL want it to get better.

But I think our vision for "making things right" is just different.

Anon seems mostly focused on the people who are still in the project and how they're changing it for the better (i assume, for future employees) , while we tend to focus on the people who were kicked out and were never contacted again.

Us pointing out that the ex admins have been ghosted for 2 months is not "detail chasing" or "talking about past mistreatment" It's literally ongoing. And it is still mistreatment.

Maybe not everyone sees it that way, I guess. I'm sure some people think they're being impatient, or they don't deserve to be talked to because they're not in the project anymore, or even consider the ex employees newfound "fame" to be at their advantage, somehow. But even so, it doesn't change the fact that none of the whistle-blowers have seen any steps taken to compensate them, or even hear them, for the months of free labor and abuse. At least, as of now.

After all, the only promise Quackity made is that he'll make things right for the people working in Qstudio in the future. So far, he said nothing about the ex employees except vagueposting about "people who want to destroy the project".

We're allowed to be skeptic and even critical about how this is all handled. And we're allowed to express said skepticism online, where we can interact with others about it. Just like anon is allowed to express their support and trust in QStudio.

The problem comes, as usual, from parasocials of all extremes sending hate to everyone involved. And I do agree that this whole thing being public is mostly to blame for that.

I do think it's too bad that it didn't happen privately, but now, it's out, and the silver lining is that it allowed other ex employees to make their mistreatment heard without feeling like they're insane for it. After all, it's been months, and only now do we hear anything. It shows that the mental pressure to "dont talk to any of your colleagues and lay low or else" really stopped people from facing their abuse with the gravity it deserved.

And honestly, seeing how they're handling it rn, I doubt that Qstudio would have taken the right steps if it had been done 100% privately.

Like, maybe we're missing some legal context here, but why did Qstudio not explicitly ask for the ex-employees' testimonies yet? Even now, with a literal union repeatedly advising them to do so, they're not doing it.

They could make a separate email adress, share it privately to all ex employees and let them send their testimonies there. They dont have to acknowledge everything immediately. They dont have to say "we will solve this in one week". But ghosting such a large chunk of the people who made your project work and only allowing them to either completely shut up or go public is... a choice. So yeah, maybe going public was necessary for them to be heard. Idk. I'm just hoping things will get better soon on that front.

Agree with everything here so not much to add except maybe :

Really I think a lot of people are looking at it like : it’s okay things will be better starting now ! While forgetting that everything that happened before still need to be adresses and solved. Not even an opinion, as this can very well be a legal matter and a serious one at that. Can’t just go "oops sorry you guys were mistreated…Anyway we’ll move on without you towards better things" that’s not how it works 😵‍💫

And for the "it should have happened privately" argument I can’t anymore because yes, ideally this is how it would have gone down. But that’s not how it went, let’s move on and more importantly let’s not blame people who talked about it, as they would have been within their right to do so even if it was done with the primary intent to expose everything. Also "it should’ve blablabla" well Qstudios should have gotten their shit together from day one and yet ! What ifs will get us nowhere.

(Et t’inquiète pour le pavé, on a vu pire ici 😭)

#just le meme du screen snap avec écrit « ohlala il en avait des choses à dire il débit il veut pas s’arrêter 😂😂#c’est la ligne édito de ce blog

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edge-oftheworld · 2 months

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remembering how careful luke was with substances back when they first started out, it is actually heartbreaking that he did end up struggling with addiction. (I feel like we can often stereotype and box artists in, find excuses why they may end up using like it's their fault and if they happen to overdose and die then well, they should've not gotten into it in the first place. i can't shake that moment, in the 10yr podcast i think (don't quote me) he mentions he wasn't even into weed in 2015. just another 19yo aussie getting drunk and pretending to be tough like every other 19yo aussie, way more conservative and cautious in terms of substances than he probably would ever have admitted at the time.) how well he's always seemed to look after himself physically vs how much he'd given up on himself for so long. the fact he's always loved food and yet struggled with eating. actually I think diamonds should break our hearts. so should bloodline and heck, even baby blue. I think we should listen to starting line and be like hey, maybe we should treat our celebrities better. our artists. we all enjoy what they create, tear themselves apart so we don't feel alone in whatever we're experiencing and yet did we ever stop to think, how can we make this system work for everyone? how can we make fame be less deadly?

I think we should look at songs like motion and repeat when we're thinking of, hey, how should we approach this conversation about mental health? especially in the workplace with pressure to perform and take every opportunity lest we miss out on a big break and that's not only in creative industries. STEM can be like that too. and don't get me started on business/finance. we should look at the way we interact with each other--are we creating a space that's safe to feel and be honest with ourselves and each other and breathe enough to do that? or is it 'r u ok' and it's all about feelings and if you feel to numb to even know what you're feeling, then you're probably fine? we're hopefully beyond blaming parents for everything their children go through by now, but if ever we're not, we can listen to mum and see that you can have this beautiful relationship with your parents and still struggle, still blame yourself and be drowning in it and have the best morals around personal responsibility and still in a bad season be able to weaponise them against ourselves sometimes and only see our mistakes. still put on a farce for the world. still fear that people will leave whenever we take that off. are we creating a world where we're free to be ourselves, and I mean all of us? slip away and place in me should break our hearts even more when listened to in context.

and maybe these insights seem obvious to you but how are we really going at living as if this is what we need to be doing as humans? do we really live like we believe none of us are that invincible but at the same time are so, so capable and should be given the chances and accommodations every person, no matter their unique needs, need to really fulfil that (of course without being blamed for their perceived failures)? or are we still being ableist? are we still deciding we have a bar of perceived success for people we see to be 'like us' and feel like everyone else is somehow doomed and unable to succeed and so we don't need to worry about caring for them too? they either have to pretend to live up to our standards or slip into oblivion and shame? don't you see how this, something we often don't realise we're perpetuating, simply causes even more harm?

and maybe this is a lot to be dragging out from one (expertly done) album. or maybe we have someone who's told their story and we'd be foolish not to listen to it, not to think twice about the connotations of what we're seeing. maybe part of beholding this masterpiece is to use a bit of that same overthinking that went into creating it and do something productive with it. because luke's okay. things did get better for him, and he's coping, just like the rest of us. but what about the next young artist who is thrust into stardom from oblivion, who, clinging to music as a lifeline in a chaotic, unpredictable and lonely world, basks in it and chases it so hard without a thought to its dangers. what if they don't have a loving home away from the chaos to return to, and a close knit, unshakeable group of friends going through it with them? I don't get how you can listen to wfttwtaf and not think of this. also, luke didn't need to share any of these things with us. but I bet, in a world of facades and roles to play that others create for us, simplistic and superficial and suffocating, it's a relief to simply be honest. maybe it's just me. maybe he shared it just to get some money from his art, or to help others feel less alone. but either way he did share it. and he did give incredibly vulnerable descriptions of each song (to apple music i believe it was) which he didn't have to do either. but he did and so let's heed the protest intrinsic in it and cultivate that sense of empathy, be respectful and encouraging to him and the band, yes, but also think. if we have a case study on how to protect and better care for young artists and creatives, are we just going to let it entertain us and then do nothing about what we hear? wfttwtaf is a protest album. it might not mean to be. it might be the saddest and least angry one we've heard. it might be pure in that it pulls at our heartstrings and demands nothing from us. so let your impact be that pure and free of demands too and just. be kind. not only to the people you see in person, but everyone who might be impacted by your individual and collective actions--not only kind but smart about what is actually helpful, actually encouraging. it's pretty simple isn't it? or is it just the wild ideas of my intuition?

#tldr wfttwtaf is very pop punk #not in its sound obvs #but like. healing. storytelling that prompts thought. that kind of protest #luke hemmings #wfttwtaf #5sos #5 seconds of summer #celebrities are people #tw ed #tw drugs #vague references of being suicidal kinda #workplace mental health #idk this post goes all over the place #neurodivergent liberation

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 1 year

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Given your history with the forbidden ship, what are your thoughts on krumione?

It took me a second to decipher the reference. Anon, you can say the name. Hayley isn’t a dirty word 🤣 just a questionable ship. Which is more or less the case for my man Victor Krum. The fandom is somewhat divided here. There are those who praise him as an underrated gentleman, and those who shame him as a creep who targets underage girls.

Honestly, both sides are exaggerating.

Krum wasn’t some unsung hero. He was a lonely, awkward guy with fame, but no friends. He was repeatedly described as being surly. He had feelings for Hermione, indicating that he appreciated her intelligence (and probably how different she was from his typical fan-girls) but so what? Just because Hermione didn’t get a lot of attention from boys, it doesn’t make Krum noble for having noticed her.

Krum is a guy who was, I think, deeply affected by attending a school like Durmstrang. It didn’t turn him into a dark wizard or a bigot (likely because of the personal losses his family suffered at the hands of the Grindelwald regime) but it does seem to have affected his social skills in a negative capacity, and becoming a celebrity certainly didn’t help. Nor did becoming a Quidditch player. I’ve talked about this before but Quidditch players tend to be obsessive and throw everything else away, including basic morality, just so they can win. The Wronski Feint may be cool when you’re a kid reading the book for the first time, but in adulthood, it really hits me just how screwed up that actually was. He basically tried to kill the other Seeker. It’s not his fault that such a move is considered acceptable, but he didn’t have to use it.

In general, I think fame hampered Krum’s ability to make friends, and rendered him unable to trust that people weren’t just trying to cozy up to him because he was famous. Unfortunately, this includes people like Ron, he’s a perfect example. Krum was a socially awkward, grumpy young man who probably did want to make friends and find love, but he had no clue how to do this, especially not in a school full of strangers in another country. (It’s no wonder he invited Hermione to come visit him.) Hell, we don’t know why he made the journey to Hogwarts in the first place. Was it his decision? Did he even want to enter the Triwizard Tournament? Or was he pressured into it by Karkaroff?

I should elaborate on my feelings a bit more. I am by no means condemning Viktor Krum, because he may be strange and socially awkward, but that’s not a crime. Questionable Seeker plays notwithstanding, Krum doesn’t really do anything wrong during the story. It’s not his fault, for instance, that Karkaroff shamelessly favorited him, or that Crouch Jr used him as a puppet. If anything, his aggressive reaction to a perceived Grindelwald supporter is a mark in his favor. Krum is the sort of guy who has punched Nazis and gladly would again. Can’t really fault him for that.

But what about the erumpent in the room, what about his interest in Hermione?

Well, like I said, I don’t believe he ever does anything out of line. Is it creepy? I think that depends on the context. Is the age gap a little suspect? I mean, yeah, it is. But it’s hardly impossible for a guy Krum’s age to date a girl Hermione’s age without being a predator. To pretend otherwise is silly. That leaves the question - is Krum written to be a predator? The answer is no. I hardly think asking a girl to attend a chaperoned dance is predatory behavior. It’s implied that they dated a while afterward, that Hermione (probably) kissed him. But hey, if they hit it off at The Yule Ball, why can’t they see where that goes? Hermione being Krum’s Hostage in the Second Task is…weird, I’ll admit. Particularly since the judges were willing and able to procure family members from outside the country. But then again, is it not equally weird for Cedric’s Hostage to be Cho? They hadn’t been dating that long. Frankly, I think this just proves how lonely Krum is.

I’ve seen posts that say he “isolated” and “threatened” Harry when he saw him as a romantic rival. Which seems like a major reach. All he did was ask for an explanation. There was no indication that he meant harm. And when Harry clarified, Krum changed his tune and acted more friendly. Again, he and Hermione were basically dating at this point. It’s not unreasonable for Krum to be angry if he thought Hermione was cheating on him. Overall, he should have confronted her instead of Harry, but that’s a different issue. My point being, it was not predatory behavior. No more than his being irritated that Hermione wasn't paying attention to him after the Second Task. He was already insecure about Harry, and he was the one who had "saved" Hermione, of course he wanted to be the center of attention in that moment.

Was it creepy for Krum to invite Hermione to visit him in Bulgaria? I’ve seen that sentiment expressed, that he was trying to “isolate her” (there’s that word again) in a country where he would be the only person she knew, and that this was a red flag. I’d just call it an inevitable reality. One can assume Krum would want to introduce her to his family and such. But until then, yeah, she wouldn’t know anyone else from there. So? Furthermore, there’s no indication that her parents weren’t invited too. Either way, Hermione would need their consent and there’s no doubt Krum knew she would. Like, we have no evidence that he was trying to do this behind their backs. In general, Harry himself regularly stayed with the Weasleys during school breaks, for weeks at a time. This could simply be a traditional aspect of wizarding culture. Something that happens all the time. Not some grand evil plan. In any case, Hermione rejected the offer to visit Bulgaria (or her parents said no, we can’t be sure) and I think we can safely assume that Krum took this with grace, as he and Hermione remain pen pals after the fact and are on good terms.

I’ve made this point before when defending Hayley, but I dislike how people express distaste for Krumione by describing it as an “adult man” pursuing a “15 year old girl.” Because referring to Krum as such in this context and ignoring that he’s only 18 himself just obscures the situation. It makes it sound a lot worse than it actually is, and it almost seems like people are doing this on purpose. Krum may be an adult in this case and Hermione may be a child, but that doesn't mean they're all that far apart. Again, Cedric and Cho also get together after the Yule Ball, and by Wizard standards, Cedric was an adult too. We're still dealing with a romance between two teenagers. Yes, an 18 year old is more mature than a 15 year old. But 18 year olds are still pretty damn stupid. I know. I’ve been there.

But what about the time that Krum, as a 21 year old man, was eyeing up Ginny, a 16 year old girl? That alone kills any defense he might have, right? It creates a pattern and removes the benefit of the doubt from the equation…right? Well, it would, except that Krum doesn’t actually know her age, how could he isn’t actually interested in Ginny. He doesn’t check her out until after Harry describes Ron and Hermione as a couple. Up until that point, he had eyes only for her. It seems like pretty clear subtext. Krum just wants to find a pretty girl to dance with and make Hermione jealous. Which is immature. But again, acting immature is not the same thing as acting predatory. He backs off when Harry tells him that Ginny has a boyfriend, I think we can assume he would likewise have backed off if Harry had told him "She's 16, dude."

Altogether, Hermione was Krum’s first love. He seems to have idealized their relationship and never really gotten over her. While this probably isn’t the healthiest situation for him, I still wouldn’t call him a creep. Krum respects Hermione’s boundaries and her autonomy. he is never shown pushing her into anything she doesn’t want, and Hermione doesn’t appear to be the least bit negatively affected by his residual feelings for her. She just carries on with her life. She shoots him down, and while he doesn’t exactly move on, he also doesn’t make it her problem. The worst you can say about Krum is that he's maybe a little pathetic. But I don't see any red flags here, at least not of that sort.

#Viktor Krum #Hermione Granger #Harry Potter #Harry Potter Books #Krumione #Hope it's alright to tag as such #This is basically a defense post #It's not my ship I'm a Romione stan #But Krum/Hermione is inoffensive #Igor Karkaroff #Ginny Weasley

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likeadevils · 10 months

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So i have this little problem with evermore the album I don’t think i had fully digested folklore before evermore came out so i couldn’t fully emerge myself in it if that makes any sense lol anyway i was hoping to ask about a few songs and your take on them if that’s ok with you :)

Ivy

Tis the damn season

so folklore and evermore both function as more of a sandbox than anything in my mind, where i like to take existing songs and then be like, oh seven is the story of betty and augusts childhood friendship but betty had to move away because of her parents divorce, my tears ricochet is from augusts pov after she heard james got back together with his ex, etc etc (and these daydreams change all the time like sometimes this is me trying is adult james, sometimes it’s betty, sometimes it’s betty’s dad, yknow whatever gets the story done)

tis the damn season is like, the load bearing stone in all of my evermore daydreams. i love the way it can tie into almost every other song on the album— dorothea, obviously, but also the idea that if this love was ever to work she would have to wreck her plans, that she moved to la and left her relationship in tatters like champagne problems, her prickliness and reticence to get in a new relationship in gold rush, becoming disillusioned with fame and the surface level relationships in coney island and evermore. personally i like to add a relationship with a cowboy like me type that eventually descends into tolerate it levels before returning home, but that’s just me

even on its own merits, i love that taylor found an incredible common experience (returning home for the holidays, feeling simultaneously stuck in and comforted by your past self, and hooking up with your hometown ex) that doesn’t get sung about often. i love when she sings about love as something inconvenient that she would rather not experience, and i love when she writes really mean stand-offish lyrics and sings them in such a way that forced you to see the deep love underneath. like there’s something so fanfiction-y (in the best way) about putting “if i wanted to know who you were hanging with while i was gone i would’ve asked you” in a love song— it’s something you find in books or tv shows or movies, more long form content that gives the author the space to make it obvious that the character is saying it out of jealousy, not malice, and taylor has the balls to drop it in a song and trust listeners to pick up on it without any other context clues. and the whole song does that, builds a three-dimensional character out of her complicated love for the people and places she inhabits, and it works so well.

the instrumentals of ivy are my favorite thing about the song— the way they all stutter over themselves, the tentative horns, the gasping backing vocals in the bridge, it all feels like falling in love in careful little tiptoes. just like tis the damn season it builds a character out of her love for someone else, but a different kind of person— ivy is tentative and sweet and doomed by her own inaction, where tis the damn season is prickly and cold and doomed by her ambition. it’s just. it’s such a good song but in order to do the lyrics justice i feel like i would need a line by line breakdown and this post is already too long. but just. every metaphor for love she uses is something destructive, how she moves from something god has forgotten to someone god has damned, how the song opens with “the old widow goes to the (tomb)stone everyday” and the refrain is “my house of stone,” it’s just so well thought out

#asks*

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yesterdayiwrote · 11 months

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Lewis went partying with Neymar 💀like I am always on the fence with him because he seems to be a decent person and then every single time he turns around and hangs out with the shadiest of people. I get doing it in working context because there isn’t much of a choice, but when you surround yourself so constantly of jerks, than I can’t help but start questioning you, sorry, because as they say go you indeed are who you hang out with.

So… I’ve spoken about the people Lewis associates himself with in the past and I think it’s a really complex situation that is just as much about how the entire celebrity culture operates as it is about his personal judgements and associations…

(Under the cut because this got long…)

I think one of the first things to bear in mind is that there are a lot of highly problematic people associated with F1. This isn’t specific to Lewis, there’s faces and figures the length of the paddock who are just not good people who other drivers hang out with with little fanfare. The fact that Lewis is both the most recognisable face in the paddock, and the most outspoken on ‘issues’ means his associations end up coming under more scrutiny than others.

Lewis does associate himself with a lot of highly problematic people, and sometimes seems quite… ignorant(?) to how problematic they are. I mean we’re not talking about him hanging out with people who later turn out to have done shitty things, we’re talking about people whose shittyness is well documented. In some cases there’s possibly a plausible deniability in that it’s more internet gossip than widely circulated, with some that’s less of the case and those are the really disappointing ones.

I think there’s a lot to be said for the transactional nature of celebrity ‘friendships’ though. They aren’t friends in the way that we know friendships to work. They’re more networking based associations, even outside of work. They trade off being seen with each other and they benefit from each other’s fame and connections. Miles is his friend, Spinz is his friend… I’m not sure that’s genuinely the case in all of the celebrities he’s seen with. That said, the association is still disappointing, especially if it’s someone that seems to go against the values that Lewis has espoused.

I think there’s also something in the fact that all the celebrities that show up inevitably say they’re there to support Lewis. I don’t think it’s evidence that he’s friends with all of them, I think it’s more a case that he’s the best known name and so he’s the go to answer for every celebrity that wants to avoid the PR awkwardness of looking like they’ve just shown up for the free hospitality without knowing a single thing about F1.

I think for me personally, the most disappointing one recently was his comments about El*n. Again I don’t think they’re friends in the traditional sense, and I suspect Lewis is more interested in his Space travel prospects than anything else. However at a point when the full extent of his trip down the far right rabbit hole has become publicly visible for all to see, and when he’s not exactly gaining the most positive of attention, that was a real choice to openly declare that you hang out with him and how cool you think he is.

As I say, I’m not sure any of these associations are done with specific malice. I think there’s a mix of naïveté, a bit of ignorance, probably a bit of self benefit too. Lewis’ own problematic behaviour has been well documented and it’s probably fair to say he still has room to grow because…of course he does, he’s human?

I’m not sure where the line gets drawn. We can’t expect him to be perfect but we can hold him to account. I’m not sure how many problematic associations becomes too many to excuse or if it only becomes an issue when they start repeating the problematic behaviour themselves. I think it’s definitely something to be aware of though, and it’s fair to note and call out. I think to counter some of the abuse and criticism Lewis gets, there’s often the tendency for people to paint him as a paragon and I think it’s important to remember that that’s not the case. He is still a flawed person and that’s okay to some extent. He’s not automatically a bad person by association…

#ask #idk I’m scared to tag this Lewis because I don’t trust people to apply comprehension skills #he’s a very complex person #complicated is interesting #I think he does get away with some deserved criticism #but then gets criticised for dumb shit instead #he should have copped more flak for the el*n comments imho #and there are plenty of other examples of poor judgement for real

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septembersghost · 1 year

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Why do you think all shippers are desperate to make Maroon about their ship? Are they ignoring the line where she says what it was a cheap imitation of real love? Personally, I would not claim this song for my ship so it makes me laugh so hard. Midnight rain is right there and Tom fans were smart and snatched it when in reality he is farthest from the actual inspiration.

help i haven't the faintest idea why or how this has become a debate, not only because she couldn't have made it any more obvious, but also for the reason you said - it seems a little like some people are hearing it differently than what it is. yes, she loved him in a formative way, but it was also shattering. none of the described red/burgundy/scarlet/maroon things are ultimately positive - it's a spill/stain, it's a flush (her blushing could be desire and shame...again see atw10), it's miscommunication, it's hopeless (the double meaning of maroon - she's marooned without the place she called home that she thought she'd found with him). i think a lot of the misinterpretation has to do with the passion in it. the song sounds very heady and almost covertly sexy in a mature way, but that's...the point. the rush and the yearning is there, but also a tinge of bitterness and a bruised hurt. she's describing a romance that seemed to mean everything but ultimately was a loss, like you said, a cheap imitation of real love, something corrosive (rust between telephones). her calling his memory hanging over her a "legacy" isn't a compliment, even if she reclaimed it in a positive way with her music. which is why i've brought up sad beautiful tragic and the last time and i almost do and babe and better man and atw10, it links into all of those, a love that felt so vast and deep, but ended up burning out and leaving her in the smoke.

also if it's about "shipping" that makes me uncomfortable because she is a real person? i know we analyze her songs and we break down the context because, for better or worse, these relationships and times in her life are part of our collective knowledge of her, and to some degree that's unavoidable when discussing her work within the frame of her experiences, she very much shares that in her diaristic writing, but...she is with her partner and has been for over six years, and beyond lovingly supporting she and joe in that (and yes, i love them and wish them happiness because i've followed taylor's journey for 14 years, through many beautiful ups and painful downs, and hope the very best for her because she's been so important to me that i care about her dearly even though i don't know her. that's just an unavoidable part of having an artist touch your heart and impact your life and empathizing with them), "shipping" a very real flesh and blood woman with ex-lovers or ex toxic friends or whomever is unsettling. i'm clearly a fan of h's too and thus think it would be nice for them to be friends because they seem like caring and artistically sensitive people, but obviously that's their business, and if it's not possible, that's totally okay. i wish them to both be happy and healthy and fulfilled regardless of whatever else.

regarding midnight rain...i adore tom too, but my goodness, HOW did he get mixed up in this? our girl was not "chasing that fame" when she met him, she was drowning in it and starting to break trying to escape it. additionally, the references to her hometown and "he wanted a bride," it's so clearly a what-if about her life if she hadn't pursued her music career, and a "regular" boy she knew when she was very young (connected to: there's just one who could make me stay, all my days; and with someone who is charming and endearing and close to her mother and talks business with her father and being "comfortable," but she "wanted" that pain, the idea of that life wasn't fulfilling for her). her fame was white hot and excruciating in 2016...i don't want to be mean at all, but i'm begging for some common sense...the ttds/dorothea to midnight rain pipeline is far removed from not only tom but anyone connected to the industry (he's a private citizen, but like. we know who. when debut is re-recorded, maybe everyone will see?). she made these stories very easy to decipher as far as the "who," so that we can understand the deeper meanings of the "why" and "when."

somewhat aside topic, but tom is very famous too, and was at a particular height of pop culture fame when they met, and i think the vicious scrutiny was as harmful on that relationship as anything else. yes, it was a rebound and an escape, and yes she was already in love with someone else (but didn't think she could or should pursue him at that moment, or didn't know if she would ruin things, or didn't know how to let a kind, loving man into her life without the worry of potentially destroying him, etc), but the media around them was unfair and unhinged. tom seems like an absolutely lovely man as well, but that was understandably too much, even without her not being his to lose. (and he's happy with his own family now, and i'm glad!) that's not a "one that got away" situation or life unlived for either of them. certain fans make fun of joe for not being "famous enough" (whatever that means, tbh it's gross), but consider - taylor kept dating ultra famous men whose own issues got in the way or seriously hurt her or made her feel small and used. then she met someone who still approached her like a whole human being, who could bring her home to his family and let her recover there quietly, while he loved her and held her hand in private, who is also content to let her sparkle. it seems obvious to me why that would be not only romantic, but soul affirming, after everything she'd gone through. she can have everything in the world that she wants. she's built an incredible career. she has enough money to access basically anything. she can have every drop of glitz and glamour at every moment. she can go to the fanciest places, any designer, any red carpet. basically every door will just open for her name. but her name isn't her. none of that means a thing if she's going home empty (as she describes in yoyok and dear reader, reflecting how she's felt at various times, i'd say particularly during 1989), if someone doesn't love her for her. it's why "you must like me for me" is so vulnerable and such a big deal for her on rep. "do i really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?" when not only did she feel diminished and trapped and dead inside, but also (imo) commodified, and then he helped her change her course. she could go to any gala, any club, and she has. they'll roll the carpet out for her. there's a reason why she runs home to his sweet nothings - when you can have anything, what matters most in the world is the intangible, being held and loved for who you are, quietly and steadily, by someone who chose to stay. that foundation and those choices makes all the difference. and that's part of why she can process past heartbreaks and traumas now, why she can express the lasting impacts, and the uncertainty with constantly going back and forth or leaving, and the pressures put on her, and the things that felt like love but weren't true (you never called it what it was). she's done a lot of work and healing, and she knows the real thing now.

i do wonder if some listeners are still adjusting to midnights being many retrospective stories and thus having a mix of muses, and the way it recontextualizes and illuminates a lot of other things in her catalog (including folklore and evermore). fans are still kind of used to one muse™ overall, even though nearly every album has some mixed inspiration (and joe has been central for five albums now in varying ways), this one intentionally covers many. and she described that and laid it out for us as a premise, but it still really asks us to understand and hear her and catch on to each of those moments/inspirations if we're going to analyze it from her point of view.

this got slightly off-topic lol but i do find myself confused as to why some of these conversations are even happening. this is such a deep, introspective, revealing album overall and it feels like we've still only scratched the surface of it, and the way it's in conversation with her past work, and i think it would be a bit easier to get into that if we weren't having to defend positions about "who" and were accepting taylor's truths at the face value she's presenting.

#this took me too long to type with my annoying and aggravated hand proving i still can't answer things properly yet 😭#my apologies to my anons i'm reading everything but answering is a different matter #anonymous #letterbox #taylor swift #midnights #maroon #midnight rain

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benefits1986 · 4 months

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A Very Bad Good Girl x Rewind

Cinema is said to be a reflection of one's nation and its people. I say, any decent film is also a Mirror of Erised that's either too crass or too classy.

One of the reasons why I took up communication research is to deepen my roots on how frameworks are engineered and optimized to fit my current stance. It's not about the shiny badge of UPDi, it's just me being perpetually curious.

One of the things I did over the long holiday break is to randomly check content as I've been too out of touch. Of course, I'd definitely choose Ooku: The Inner Chambers over A Very Good Girl, however, I'd need to immerse myself in local mainstream films, because, one of my very few GCs is poppin' rainbows about an upcoming debrief. Kidding aside, it's my attempt to immerse in the perspective of my "audience of one" when it comes to work. Yes, work. More so, films are very easy access passes to what the pulse of the nation is, even when I'd have to yawn and laugh dryly so many times while at it.

In line with new stories for 2024, let me share my thoughts and feelings about A Very Good Girl. Alert: Spoilers incoming; however, I'd list down the stuff I gathered instead of lambasting and praising it straight up.

1 The male gaze is currently severely butchered but it's still a butch or femme butch scene, after all. Sorry, not sorry. I'd like to see an unapologetic ultra femme era of films in my lifetime, to be honest.

2 Women in films are on their way to find their safe space without sacrificing a safe space for all. Being immersed in feminism and postmodernism, the truth is that you can't advocate for safe space if you aim to silence the males in any social setting. As a reformed radical feminist, I'm still learning this ground. It's not easy, but it's for the greater good.

3 This film talks about how this country is still ruled by familial ties and feudalism.

4 Production and tiny details make or break the story even when your audience of one is but a passerby or a stranger.

5 While the film tackles the power struggle of females, the subtext I'm getting is that it's a class act involving the Philippines and her people. LOL. Money, fame and power are means to make you appear convenient; but, in reality, everything has a floor and a ceiling you can't escape nor evade. The poor and middle class clamor for these three pillars, however, it's all about being good even when you and the rest of universe make really, really bad choices each time.

Side Note: Sana lang, 'wag masyadong antagonized ang rich and poor masyado. 'Di naman kasalanan ng mahirap na mahirap sila in the same manner na 'di naman kasalanan ng mayaman na mayaman sila, right? And I think that this film has made a decent commentary about this topic.

6 As the media is silenced, harassed and policed with literal and figurative machineries, films are more experimental and more vibrant and dull, all together.

7 Scripts and deliveries do not exactly co-exist; but, I'd like to believe that we're probably off to better heights.

8 The agenda setting and unmuting the muted groups may be lost in translation because the dresses and the accessories seem to take the center stage. I know this is an attempt to put forward a more presentable cake to be eaten by the dogs and the underdogs, however, there should always be context so that the audience masticates is better.

9 Research as Paulo Coelho shares in one of his books is super duper integral to any literary work. I also believe that this is what's lacking in most films in the Philippines. 10 After the credits roll, what matters most is the lesson that the audience of one accepts or rejects. Period. Now, the question is: How deep did the film really go?

11 Not all women are meant to be mothers. But any woman can be a mother, so as long as there is a child who's willing or unwilling to be mothered.

12 Being a child is not bound by age, folio or social class. Being a child may be an adult's most "adulting" thing to down.

13 At times, women take too much heat in any kitchen. Asking for help especially when she can't cook is the cross in which women crucify themselves. This bit hits home a little too much, but hey, that's the truth, the hard pill I am downing, currently.

14 This film seems to be an attempt to shed light on dramatic and tragic-comedic existentialism. OPAK. Ako lang naman 'to since bias ko 'yan e.

Is there such a thing as a signature Filipino film style? This is something that I've been searching for since my biases are European or Japanese films. It's actually tough to answer a yes, but saying no seems tougher. There are a good number of films like Sakada, Serbis, Cuchera, Ekstra, Pamilya Ordinaryo, Nerseri, Posas, Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros, Engkwentro, Moral, Anak, That Thing Called Tadhana and Muli that have a strong sense of what the Filipinos are made of. In the same manner, these films seem to remind me of foreign films at some level. I try my best not to compare, however, I guess that I'd have to be more forgiving in my next viewings.

More so, regional films are yet to be highlighted as I know so well that our culture beyond Manila is so rich, pure and worth the budget. As one of Anthony Bourdain's visits to PH says it, we are not even regional; we're archipelagic. I'd like to witness a Philippine cinema scene where there's a vibe of pride about the mundane. I'd like to move beyond fake resiliency, sex sells, more sex sells more even when the lighting and editing is really trashy. I'm hoping to see our own theater arts mold our film dreams, hopes, and fears.

---

I'd also like to share that dad watched Rewind and shared the whole story with me this morning. I told him that before he starts, I am on the verge of telling him to skip it the movie and his sharing, because it's gonna be a blood bath; however, this is me, letting him be.

Of course, he didn't bother checking the trailer and the reviews. And so, he gave a blow by blow account of this movie's story. In between bashing and laughing with him, he told me that he's been a very bad dad, all this time. He even enumerated the missed attendances because he was "too busy" with work that's actually manageable. He further confessed that he could have been more present in our lives when we were growing up instead of growling like a beast even at our slightest hiccups. He shared that he'd be more than willing to go back in time to make bawi for his misgivings. I flatly told him that he's not giving... giving up, now and until his forever ends, eventually.

It felt as though he's on his Walk of Shame era with a dog cone and butt naked as he goes around the UPDi Ikot and Toki route. But, I tried my best not to get too bored and tuned in. His sharing lasted for almost 45 minutes, I think.

I chuckled and told him several times that it's his first time to be a dad, a parent; so, naturally, things are always on beta test mode. He told me that if he could rewind our past, he could have chosen to give up his dear life for mom to live longer. He meant what he said. This broke my hypothalamus in the same manner that it gave me a piece of peace that I'm aiming at.

I joked him: Dad, 'di ka naman magso-sorry 'di ba? He said: Alam mo naman tatay mo, iiyak, pero 'di magso-sorry. Me: Sus. OK.

I breathed deeply and told him that everything happens for a reason and that I'd like him to be with me for a long while, perhaps, longer than my original ask. I'd like him to let go of the past and should we talk about the good, the bad, the pretty and the ugly, may those be parts of healthy kwentuhans and batuhans. I'm also sure that this is no longer about mother dragon's smirk alone. This time around, it's about me and him and my brother making it together and emerging better.

Ah, January 3, you're something weird, wonky and wonderful! Perhaps, one of the things I'd see in the Mirror of Erised is dad and I biking around Japan for two straight weeks. LOL. Huy, tigil mo na 'yan, back to regular programming ka na in a few hours. Let's go!

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owlixx · 4 months

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CoD Notes: BO1 Finished

I had been worried that Black Ops 1 would unfairly feel like a step backwards for me since I decided to do MW1/2/3 back to back and MW3 came out a year later. This was not the case. Black Ops feels like such a revelation to the franchise. The story isn’t high art, but it feels so much more involved than anything else in the franchise up to this point. The voice cast is far more stacked than ever before. Alex Mason as a protagonist is far more interesting than any previous protagonist. I think his largest competition is Soap, who only gets to be more than silent player avatar in MW2/3 and even then isn’t as interesting as Mason.

I mean, this one game has so many more memorable characters than any other Call of Duty. Ed Harris’s Hudson, Ice Cube’s Bowman, Gary Oldman’s Reznov, Woods all stand out but even Weaver, Dragovich, Steiner, that one scientist guy in Kowloon, are all so much more vivid than the tryhard wannabe NPC’s of something like Ghosts (oops, I beat many games in a row without taking notes).

The plot twist alone elevates this game from “stupid annual release” to video game hall of fame. I’d argue that video games are the best medium for plot twists. It’s no Bioshock, but the Reznov twist is so fun and so well executed. I remember it blowing my mind as a kid and it was a ton of fun to see all the little hints as I went through this time. But I’ve already talked about the game at large twice. Let’s get into the last few missions.

Crashed plane assault mission was fine. I noticed the radio shout out a “Sergeant Blundell” which I recognized as Jason Blundell, the main Black Ops guy, this time. Also very funny and on the nose to have a section set to Sympathy for the Devil.

Snowy mountain assault was just okay. The top-down tactical part was clearly a stepping stone to the Strike Team missions of Black Ops 2. Didn’t love that section. But it was kind of funny to get to play as Hudson. This series seems to have some sort of quota to meet on having multiple playable characters. I did struggle really hard on one checkpoint in this level.

Then is the Vietnam mission where you get to fly a helicopter. I remember liking that part as a kid and it’s fine now. I’ll admit that these ‘Nam levels blend together for me.

But then we’ve got the Rebirth Island assault where you sneak around as Mason and do a gas-mask armored strike as Hudson. It’s pretty cool to get to see the same moment from two perspectives, a rare good use for having multiple playable characters. I will admit that Hudson’s breakable gas mask ended my life many times though.

Then the big plot twist as a cutscene mission, which is very fun.

Then finally the big boat assault and underwater base. Nothing too special gameplay wise, but generally a nice capper on the game.

And I love the implication that Mason killed JFK. I mean, it’s a very strong implication, but I suppose they never outright confirm it was him who pulled the trigger. I half expected the final scene of zooming in on Mason photoshopped into the background of a JFK pic to turn into a “JFK assassination simulator” for a second, but instead it transitions directly into the opening cutscene for Five, which is such a treat.

I did manage to get to round, like, 9, I wanna say, on Five. Sadly died right I before I could PaP because I forgot how the weapon thief mechanic worked and ended up double buying a gun. The voice lines in this map are even funnier to me as an adult who has more context on this era.

Overall, I think this game is peak CoD as far as campaigns go. First, set out to tell a story that would work even outside of this series, then drench it in a particular era and add a bunch of fun weapons and setpieces.

In the rankings so far, I think this is going at the top.

#call of duty #CoD #black ops 1 #black ops #bo1

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inspiteallthedanger · 2 years

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"these are not the same thing paul#you don’t have to like#grapple with the meaning of fame#to also examine yourself" I'm not sure that's true? The Beatles are so famous and have been since they were so young that being famous must be an inextricable part of their identity in many ways. Everything from their taste to their coping mechanisms to their understanding of interpersonal relationships has got to be influenced by fame. So how can any of them examine themselves without grappling with the meaning of fame? Especially Paul, who typically talks about self-examination in the context of making art. Art he makes primarily with an eye toward sharing it with the public. I don't know, maybe you didn't quite mean this how I took it, but I just saw those tags and it immediately made me recalibrate my understanding of Paul's reluctance to psychoanalyze himself.

Hello! And thank you for chipping in, I love it!

I do know totally what you mean. Who is Paul at this point without Beatle!Paul? What’s the distinction? Is there one? Is it even useful to draw that line? How would that impact his ability to make art?

But, what I would say is that Paul was keenly not analysing himself way before he was a Beatle. Like, a lot of the behaviour that people call him out for was set before fame. I’m sure fame made it worse, but it didn’t cause it. So, there’s that. And you could look at that without the need to go into it all.

He’s also the one that seems most sort of… adjusted with fame which makes me wonder if he really even needs to grapple with it. Now, obviously that could be (and I’m sure this is a big part of it) because he’s not analysing himself. But I think it’s interesting to think about and would mean he could look at other things outside of fame.

Paul has always been more worried about self-examination than the others too. Like, not wanting to learn to read music unless it somehow spoils his ability to write music. This is a Paul trait that isn’t (although for him often is) good. Currently it’s also not clear how much he does examine himself through art, especially consciously. Obviously I can see his concern about messing with that, but given most other artists aren’t impacted by it, I doubt musical genius Paul be either.

It’s also, like, not a good enough reason when the way he behaves hurts people. And he has. Obviously we don’t know how much he’s actually grown since the days of Wings. But I don’t necessarily think there’s a huge reason for him to have. So, to me, even if it is painful. He needs to try.

So I take your point and I do think it would all be tangled up and confusing. But there are underlying issues. And I don’t know they always have to be tackled together. But please do come back at me and let me know your thoughts on this. It’s so interesting to think about

#beth rambles

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 years

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Hi Raven! I was rewatching play throughs of past chapters and, idk if the translations is correct, but in chapter 2, when they were talking about the Magic shift/spell drive tournament in the beginning of the chapter, Crowley says that he has Malleus’ unspoken consent to put him into the hall of fame. While this could be brushed off, at the same time I don’t think Crowley would talk so nonchalantly about something concerning someone as highly regarded as Malleus; like the implied consent kinda made me go ‘who gave u the authority to make that decision for a royal, not to mention a future king?’. Although I haven’t seen Malleus interact w other teachers, it seems like he and Crowley are comfortable enough to have a casual conversation when Malleus was waiting for the others during the Scalding sands event. I also remember like way back that a lot of ppl were speculating that Crowley has a some sort of relation/connection w Malleus, even comparing how similar their colour pallets are (especially the colour of their hair). I’m pretty sure Crowley is a type of fae from the valley of thorns/briar valley and that it’s just familiarity for them but w the theories that Crowley is a twisted version or Diablo, Maleficent’s raven, idk but it’s possible that it could be more.

There’s a lot of theories out there that Crowley may be twisted from Maleficent’s raven, and some that suggest he’s twisted from the Evil Queen’s raven. However, there’s some misinformation in this ask that I’d like to correct 💦

I know that translations are in high demand, but I would caution those who read/watch translations that are put out very fast (like, within 1-2 days of new content updates). There’s no real way to guarantee the quality or the accuracy of translations in the first place, but rushing to get translations out leads to an increased likelihood of important details being overlooked, mistranslations being left in the final product, or just poorly worded or confusingly structured sentences.

Of course, we’re all thankful for the speedy and plentiful fan translations in this fandom, but please take them with a grain of salt, as the first or the only translations you read may not be entirely accurate. (I think limiting the spread of misinformation is something to be more mindful of, especially as we welcome an influx of new fans thanks to the TWST EN release.)

Alright, now about chapter 2, I believe this is the line you’re referencing:

Here, Crowley is NOT saying he has “Malleus’s unwritten consent to induct him into the Hall of Fame”. Crowley is in NO way making decisions for anyone without their permission or say-so. The more accurate translation of his line would be, “In any case, on the matter of inducting him into the Hall of Fame, Draconia-kun has already given me his verbal consent.”

I believe that the term 内諾を得る was translated as “unwritten consent”, but this translation does NOT hold the same meaning as the original phrase. 内諾を得る means to give your informal verbal consent, so Malleus basically agreed to letting Crowley induct him into the Hall of Fame BUT didn’t sign a formal contract or agreement for it.

This is why word choice is so important in translations—at first glance, you could look at “unwritten consent” and “verbal consent” and think they are exact equivalents (because hey, if something is unwritten, it must be verbal, right?) but the context of the situation allows for the two phrases to form wildly different interpretations of what happened, one of which is incorrect (“unwritten consent” referencing “verbal consent” is mistaken to mean “Crowley didn’t get Malleus’s permission at all” when the reality is that Crowley DID get Malleus’s permission).

The official English localization for Crowley’s line actually translates it well enough and retains the same information contained in the Japanese version:

On the subject of the Scalding Sands fireworks event, I’ll slap it under the cut in case any TWST EN players are reading this and don’t want spoilers!

I’m not sure if this belief comes from another translation, but Malleus and Crowley being chums seems to be more of a personal interpretation rather than actual canon.

It’s true that Malleus arrived at the Mirror Chamber a few hours too early for the trip since he’s so excited, and it’s also true that Crowley was with him at the time. However, it’s not clear that what, if anything, they talked about while waiting for the others to arrive, nor is it made clear just how familiar they are with each other.

It’s also not the case that Malleus is ONLY “casual” with Crowley. Malleus is actually shown to be chatty with other characters, such as Vil (whom he gives a lecture on the different types of dragons in a Halloween event). He is also playful to the Scalding Sands group during their whole trip, and, more notably, Yuu from the main story. In other events (like Fairy Gala), Malleus engages with Crowley or the other dorm leaders and doesn’t appear to treat them any differently than each other. I do also believe Malleus interacts with Trein to explain what STYX is in chapter 6. Whether whether Malleus comes across as “casual” or not in each instance is left up to fan translation and personal interpretation, but I’ve never seen Malleus as treating anyone particularly chummy (based on his actions and his words).

We do also need to keep in mind that Crowley is, in fact, the headmaster. Rather then attributing his conversation with Malleus as being comfortable because “they know each other well” (not confirmed), it’s more likely that Malleus is showing respect for authority, something he also demonstrates to his grandmother.

The topic of Crowley and Malleus’s chat may have just been strictly business, as Malleus is a prince, and regularly would not be able to leave without an entourage or at least a guard. This is the first time EVER that Malleus is going out to do something himself, and Crowley’s probably worried about the consequences/how it could hurt his or the school’s image if it got out (especially since Malleus was a last-minute change from Lilia).

Again, I want to stress that we don’t know for sure what they were talking about, as the event failed to give us any significant details on it. I’m sure that everyone has different interpretations on this though, so it’s not like one opinion is “more canon” than others until TWST itself confirms for us. I’m just sharing my own thoughts on the matter! ^^

#Malleus Draconia #twst #twisted wonderland #Dire Crowley #disney twisted wonderland #twst en #twisted wonderland en #notes from the writing raven #advice #putting this in the main tags to spread awareness #spoilers

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iwadori · 3 years

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hello! I love your works so much! Can I request an angst to comfort scenario for #21 on your prompt list?

“It’s my fault for trusting you”

Feel free to use whichever character(s) you like!!

When the haikyu boys neglect you for another girl PT 3

Part One Part Two Part Three Part four Part Five

Word Count: 2.7K

Genre: angst,fluff

masterlist

Akaashi

You and Akaashi were beautiful people

Probably the most attractive pair of young adults that anyone can find

You were both top tier models in the industry

You always had a little rivalry between you but you always promised each other to never let it affect your ‘relationship’

“Beautiful darling, your beautiful” praised your photographer as you finished your shoot giving you air kisses on your cheeks. You thanked him and the rest of the staff and entered your dressing room sighing.

“Rough day?” Asked a voice, startling you a bit. You looked up to see your boyfriend, Akaashi Keiji sitting in the corner of your dressing room on a love seat.

“Gosh Keiji you scared me” clutching your chest dramatically “But yes, the day has been tiring Fabio has really been overworking me lately” you complained. Akaashi walks towards you and gave you a peck on the cheek “Aww poor baby” he cooed mockingly, “but don’t worry ‘bout it Y/N your sucess will be all be worth it eventually” he says making you smile.

“and besides, you’ve got a shoot with me soon anyways” he winks, making you chuckle. You finished removing your make-up as Akaashi tells you about his shoot today and Bokuto’s (your fellow model friend) antics.

You and Akaashi first laid eyes on eachother when you were both up and coming models, you both are under the same company. At first, both of your agents decided to make you spend time with each other to push the narrative of you being a couple anyways. However, since you and Akaashi had great natural chemistry it made your relationship great and made for a great photo too.

As much as the public loved your relationship and the saucy photos you tend to make together, they also thrived of the slight rivalry you guys had together or the times when you guys bother shot with other people (since it was easy for a fan to make a new ship off of two people literally standing next to each other.)

You spent the next day having what you and Akaashi called a ‘rest day,’ you both specifically clear your schedules for every 2nd and 4th saturday of each month to not do any work-related for the day and just bask in each other’s companies (as you were both busy and barely got enough time to see one another.)

You watched multiple movies, made your own homemade cookies and dinner, had pillow fights, built forts. You both were having so much fun, until you both got a call...Just then, the vibe changed you went from your free-spirited fun selfs back into work mode.

Your agent told you that two brands *Insert big fashion designer brand here* and *Insert another big fashion designer brand here* were having some form of standoff. To be honest, you didn’t really care about the context of the shoot(s) in this case, as your agents call ruined your day. They wanted you and Tsukishima Kei, to do some competing shoots and promotional videos for their brand against the other designer.

After getting all your information from your agent, you go back into the living and see Akaashi sitting down thinking deeply about something. “What was your call about?” you inquire sitting down next to him.

“Oh just some silly designer brand competition thing.” he mindlessly replies, still thinking deeply.

“Yeah same. So what’s got you thinking all deeply then?” you ask

“My fellow model is going to be Kiyoko Shimuzu” he sighed, making you blink repeatedly before immediately saying “You can’t do the shoot”

Kiyoko Shimuzu was japans beauty. Everybody loved her, she’s been a model since she was a child everyone wanting a grasp on her looks. The guys wanted her, the girls wanted to be here. Kiyoko Shimuzu was a force to be reckon with.

The real problem at hand wasn’t her stunning looks, popularity and fame. It was her connection with Akaashi. Before Akaashi went big and met you, he was Kiyoko’s boyfriend (well ex-boyfriend now) and they broke up because of long-distance or something like that.

However, to you, Kiyoko’s feelings for your boyfriend have never went away. Whenever you guys bumped into each other at red carpet events or runway shows, she always seemed to linger a bit too long around your boyfriend, which definitely wasn’t to your liking.

Akaashi lifted up his head from inside his palms and looked at you as if you had grown another head. “What do you mean, ‘I can’t do the shoot’” he asked in disbelief

“I mean, you can’t do the shoot” you reiterated not understanding why he didn’t understand.

Akaashi sighs before putting his face back in his hands to think, “Well I know you got to the shoot aswell Y/N who’s yours with.”

“Tsukki” You said nonchalantly say as if it was nothing, making Akaashi look at you again as if you were fully crazy before he had a chance to speak you cut him off saying “Don’t even start Akaashi.”

You and Tsukishima Kei, have best friends since you were kids. You weren’t romantic in any way shape or form, well at least you weren’t. Akaashi always claimed that that Tsukishima was in love with you, that you and Tsukishima were the perfect example of every ‘childhood friends-lovers trope’ ever, which to you wasn’t true. Everything between you and Tsukishima was and still is completely platonic which you can’t say the same for Akaashi and Kiyoko.

“You’re not doing the shoot” he says firmly as if he was your father.

“Oh so you can do your shoot with your literally EX GIRLFRIEND, but I can’t do mine with my best friend... yeah make sense” you say standing up, astounded.

“Y/N chill, If you’re so adamant about me not doing it with Shi- Kiyoko, then I wont” he says pulling your arm down making you land on him “and you better not do it with ‘Tsukki’” he mocked.

“Okay so none of us are doing the shoots?” you ask looking up at him

“Yup” he says

“Pinky promise,” you joked sticking out your pinky in his face.

“Pinky promise” he agreed hooking his finger around yours.

For the next month it seemed you were booked busy, you barely got to see your boyfriend as his agent had him running around all of Japan and even had him booked in some places in Europe for this month. Of course, you missed him, but you understand how busy it can be doing your line of work. You’ve been quite busy too, doing the usual shoots and runways.

Although he was busy, Akaashi basically went radio silent on you. You still expected him to reply to some of your messages or at least call once or twice when he had the chance, since he must have 10 minutes of break time and that's the bare minimum.

It’s been two weeks since you last saw Akaashi (and that was on your saturday rest day) and you were expecting him to come over today so you could have another. Since of course, Saturday ‘rest days’ were basically a tradition for you and Akaashi before you even started dating.

You had no text from Akaashi explaining his lateness/absense, so you just figured he wasn’t coming putting a damper on your day. You spent the day lounging around and shoving your face with your favourite snacks and food.

You get a text from Tsukishima which read:

Tsukishima: 1 Image Attached

Tsukishima: Looks whose boyfriend stumbled on set...

You didn’t respond as you were shocked at the sight you saw, the image was a picture of Akaashi and Kiyoko on set doing shots for the *insert the other rich designer brand* the shoot that you both agreed you wouldn’t do, which was also a LINGERE brand.

You felt betrayed, you both agreed to not do the shoot and it’s not like you did do yours. You made sure to turn it down the day you made your agreement. And he skipped on your traditional saturday ‘rest day’ without even giving you any word of him not planning on arriving.

You didn’t know what to do, do you confront him about it? Or do you wait for him to approach you? Since he would plan on telling you about this right? You eventually messaged Tsukishima a ‘thanks’ and you decided how you were going to handle the situation. Pop up on Akaashi and Kiyoko at the photoshoot.

You knew where it was at, since you had the address already from when your agent first offered you the idea. You drove to the place in a breakneck speed, strutting in there like a woman on a mission (which you technically were.) You decided to wait in Akaashi’s dressing room, not wanting to cause a scene at the shoot which would be bad for yours, Akaashi’s and Kiyoko’s image and would be a waste of the time of the staff and photographer there.

Akaashi finally finished the shoot and entered his room with a sigh not realising that you were sitting in the corner of his room. “Did you have a rough time?” you ask mockingly making him jump and his eyes widen as you were the last person he expected to be there. “Why so shocked, you weren’t expecting me?” you still keep the same mocking tone in your speech.

“Y/N I-” He started

“Y/N what?” You interrupted “Y/N I’m sorry for basically ghosting you for a month? I'm sorry for doing a shoot with someone who I know is still in love with me? I’m sorry for lying to you? I’m sorry for skipping out on our rest day with no explanation on where I am?” you stare at him as he stares back speechless.

“Oh, am I missing something?” you continue “Oh yes ‘Y/n I’m sorry for doing the shoot that we both agreed that we weren’t doing’” you sit down and wait for him to reply.

Akaashi puts his head down in shame, not really knowing what to say. Because of his silence, you roll your eyes and get up fed up with his lack of explanation. Before you fully leave Akaashi blocks your way with slight tears in his eyes “I had no other choice Y/N, I had to do all those shoots and travel other places with Kiyoko because sh-”

“Wait, that’s where you were?” you shout “Gallivanting around the country with HER!” you extend your arm pointing outside the door before you turn trying to leave again.

“N-No No Y/N you’ve got to listen to me” he said putting your hands on my shoulder “She has something, on me and I-I couldn’t I can’t get out of it. It’s deeper than just a simple shoot.” You were confused but you were so upset you just didn’t want to hear it so instead of listening to your boyfriend you decided to say “you’re so full of shit Akaashi” making him gasp at your coldness and the use of his last name. “ but hey I guess thats my fault for trusting you”

You finally left the room and went to go get a breather for a second with tears sparking in your eyes. You leaned against the wall and whispered “fuck” frustrated with the whole situation. Making you jump, Tsukishima said “you should go talk to him you know.”

“What do you know Tsukki” he cringed at the nickname

“I know more than you Y/N, just go talk to him.” he said making you squint your eyes at him wondering what information he held.

When you walked back to Akaashi’s dressing room practicing an apology in your head. But you paused your arrival hearing Akaashi talking to the one and only, Kiyoko Shimuzu in his room.

“Let’s face it Akaashi, now that I’ve got this sex tape of us, I basically own you.” she said to him making your eyes widen.

You decided the smartest thing to do was to pull out your phone and record as much as the conversation as you possibly could. Because you could already tell Akaashi was in a bind.

“The next thing I want you to do is...” she continued acting as if she was thinking “break it with Y/N!”

“No certainly not Kiyoko, you’re going too far.” he said making you smile internally that he still defended your relationship. “Me and Y/N are definitely NOT breaking up.”

“Akaashi are you forgetting that I have something over you.” she pulls out her phone and she plays a video, which you can only assume is the sex tape. You can hear a bunch of moans and groans which made your stomache ache.

Tired of hearing this, you burst into the room and say “What the fuck are you doing Kiyoko”

“Oh Y/N how lovely for you to join us...” she said with a smile, “I was just discussing with your ‘boyfriend’ plans for our next shoots.”

“I always knew you were a bitch.” you say shocking your head at her.

“What do you mean Y/N?” she says with a fake smile, not knowing that you were listening in on your conversation “Actually Akaashi was telling me something he had to tell you... isn’t that right Akaashi.” you both looked over at him and he was scared and speechless.

“Oh you mean how you’ve been blackmailing him for the past two weeks...” you accuse

“You have no proof of that.” She taunted

“Oh do I..” you rebuttal then pressing play on the recording you just took watching as both Kiyoko and Akaashi look shocked. Kiyoko scurries out the room knowing she’s been caught leaving you with a triumphant smile.

You sit down, gesturing Akaashi to sit next to you. “Akaashi, I’m so sorry for not listening to you earlier I felt so betrayed thinking that you went agaisnt out agreement, but I guess I was just being a self-obsessed bitch” you say with you now looking down in shame.

“Y/N” he says with you still not meeting his eye “Y/N look at me” he lifted your chin up so you met his eye “It’s fine, It’s completely fine you didn’t know of course you didn’t know, how would you know of sex tape I unknowingly did back when I was 16!” he exclaims “Its fine, we’re good” he pulls you into a hug and kisses you on the forehead.

After you both calm down, Akaashi explains how Kiyoko started to blackmail him and how the agency loved the idea of them two being together (not the blackmailing) as it created a jealousy storyline between you and her and how every time they met she kept proposing ridiculous demands.

“Also, how did you know I ended doing the shoot?” he asks

“Oh a little bird told me” you tease

“You mean a 6ft2 bird with blonde hair and a shit personality.” he retorts making you laugh

“Heyy don’t be so mean, if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t of came to save the day.”

“True, I’d give him that.”

Eventually, you and Akaashi go to your agency and present all your evidence and claims that Kiyoko was blackmailing Akaashi. Although they were upset, that Akaashi did partake in a sex tape they knew that they’d be an even bigger scandal if you presented your news that Japans sweetheart Kiyoko Shimuzu was blackmailing Akaashi Keiji. So the agency thought it was in everyones best interest if they got Kiyoko to sign an NDA saying that she will never bring forth or share the Sex Tape to anyone and she’ll agree to be dropped from the agency.

Your life was great now, with Kiyoko off your back and Akaashi being back to his usual self you couldn’t wish for anything more. You ended up doing the shoot persuading the design brand person (whatever the name for it is) to agree to let you do the shoot together instead of with other people. Both brands let you, because who wouldn’t want Akaashi Keiji and L/N Y/N to do a shoot together?

AUTHORS NOTE: this is the longest work ive written for a single character and i am TIRED lol..I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed my other works so I hope you enjoy this one.. to be honest I think with my works I start off strong and end shitly :// However I wanted to do something different today by making them models instead of students so I hope you like it. Now im off to read some fanfic so you guys have a good day!! <3

#haikyuu x reader comfort #haikyu angst #haikyu x reader #haikyu scenarios #haikyuu fluff #haikyu #akaashi scenarios #akaashi x y/n #akaashi headcanons #akaashi keji x reader #akaashi x reader #akaashi angst #akaashi fluff #signedwithane😌

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iamthenightcolormeblack · 3 years

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My Experience with Jane Austen Part 2: Reading the Books

In part one I laid out which books I read, which ones were my favorites and least favorites, and the adaptations I've seen. Now I'd like to talk about my reading experience.

Disclaimer: I’m not an expert, just a casual reader sharing some observations, feel free to correct me if I get some details wrong. Out of the books I’ve read I’m most familiar with Pride and Prejudice.

Let's face it. Reading Austen can be challenging and I understand why some people dislike Austen.

It's easy to perceive her novels as "boring" because on a surface level, not much happens. The characters are well-off people (in the upper half of society) who spend their time at home or traveling between social calls and it's easy to dismiss their conflicts as "first world issues." Settings are often indoors, reflecting how "confined and unvarying" the lives of the rich (especially women) were. The plots often move forward through dialogue or conversations rather than big dramatic events. The focus on marriage can also make the stories feel like antiquated relics of the past and can be hard to relate to.

The writing style is also different. There isn't much dialogue at times because Austen slips in lots of very subtle commentary or prefers to describe a character's external appearance or characteristics. Often big events like proposals are described briefly after they happen rather than during, which can make the story feel rather "dry." The books are narrated in third person and sometimes there is unreliable narration (Pride and Prejudice) where we get characters' multiple points of view, but all narrated in the third person as to give each one credibility and prove that it's hard to trust others. Austen's writing style means that readers have to fill in the blanks with their imagination. For example, she doesn't give exact physical descriptions of her characters, often relying on general characteristics like "tall," "handsome," or "amiable." In my previous reviews of Pride and Prejudice adaptations, I explored that intentional ambiguity as a big reason why the character of Mr. Darcy is alluring--because the reader forms a personal connection with the character by sketching his portrait alongside Elizabeth. The characters (their physical appearance and some of their motivations) are purposely mysterious and while it gives the reader lots of opportunities for engaging with the text, without historical/literary context for "filling in the blanks" it's easy to see the characters as stiff mannequins in strange clothing rather than human beings.

Austen as a romance writer: Her romances don't always match up with our perception of what a romance should be. Some people start Austen expecting intense emotions and outbursts of passion but become disappointed when presented with formal courting and stately dances instead. Emotions are often veiled behind dialogue and for a first-time reader it can be challenging to see a romance developing. Most of the time readers have to rely on the clues given by Austen (descriptions of characters "blushing," looking "pale," or losing their composure) to detect the stirrings of love, but on a first reading it's difficult to do so when one's trying to figure out the plot and the characters. Finally, the dialogue can't always be taken literally; lots of people, including me, were disturbed when Mr. Knightley said he loved Emma since she was 13, but it was actually a joke made in response to something she said.

Her books are products of their time, and I sure am not an expert in Regency era economics or social norms. Sometimes the implications of certain actions can be lost on a reader if they don't know about the social norms of the time (I had no idea that Darcy following Elizabeth around, alone, on her favorite walk at Rosings was a sign of his love for her). Differences in social class are also very subtle and while one can generalize the characters as all "well-off" people, they are separated by many levels of hierarchy and their ideas about social position and status affect how they interact with others outside of their station. Darcy looks down upon those whom he perceives to be below him, and while Emma wants to make an advantageous match for Harriet, Harriet's lower social position means that Emma's schemes are not likely to work.

Because of the unique quirks within the novels, the reader is required to go beyond the surface level of plot and appearance and read between the lines to understand character motivations and actions. Without historical context (Regency era society having little social mobility, women having few legal rights and needing to make good marriages to secure material comfort) or literary context (the Enlightenment, 18th century Gothic novels referred to in Northanger Abbey, the birth of the novel, early Romantic writers just to name a bit) reading between the lines is nearly impossible.

So why do we read Austen? Below are my personal reasons.

The novels feature female heroines that have dignity and self-respect. It's significant that the stories focus on women who are trying to live according to their own values and speaking their own minds rather than acquiescing to societal dictates. Elizabeth Bennet is revolutionary in part because she wants a marriage based on mutual admiration and respect between two partners who know each other well, rather than an economic arrangement for a home. One could go on forever about how Austen is a feminist, but, the characters don't act like modern day feminists--they are still people of their time. However, it's easy to assume "feminist" heroines have to have "aggressive" characteristics (rebelling, fighting, defiance) in order to be labeled as "feminist." Importantly, Austen's women are allowed to be vulnerable (they cry or struggle with their emotions) without that being a shameful thing. We also see different types of personalities celebrated: Jane Bennet, who is kind to everyone, is seen in a positive light rather than shamed for seeing good in everyone. Anne Elliot, who is regarded as "old," becomes more beautiful as she gets older and has a second chance of love. Emma Woodhouse is spoiled yet confident and assertive and "not likely to be well-loved" (paraphrase of Austen's commentary on Emma). Fanny Price is a shy person but still achieves her happy ending. Her heroines are real people who have flaws and get opportunities to learn and grow so that they can make their aspirations reality.

A unique take on the universal conflict of humans versus society: Austen's characters are bound by social norms of etiquette as well as a value system that idolizes wealth and connections above all else. Persuasion is a great story in part because it focuses on how Anne Elliot learns to follow her heart and avoid being "persuaded" by others (and by society) to follow a path that will not make her happy. She's had to live with the regret of following the well-intentioned but harmful advice of others (Austen notes that Lady Russell values social connections too highly) over her own feelings and judgment, nearly losing her chance to be with Wentworth. The romances are significant in that they reinforce the dignity and self-respect of the female heroines. To a certain extent, Austen's stories are realistic in that marriage is necessary for material well-being in a patriarchal society that provides few ways for women to provide for themselves. But most importantly, she also sees marriage as a means of affirming self-respect and dignity of the women. It's one of the few parts of their lives over which they have any control because they get to choose whom they marry (for the most part, unless the marriage is arranged). Their wish to marry for love is revolutionary because they dare to aspire for something more than wealth. They want their future partners to be their equals, someone who they can love and respect (or be totally honest with them) and who will provide the same in return. This line from Emma (the 2020 movie adaptation) sums it up: "I have none of the usual inducements of women to marry. Fame I do not want. Fortune I do not want. Consequence I do not want."

The difference between outward appearances and inner character is a fascinating theme that appears in several Austen novels, most notably Pride and Prejudice, where Wickham and Darcy are foils of each other ("one has got all the goodness, the other all the appearance of it"). A lot of the villains in Austen's novels are those who deceive others about their motivations or lie for their own advantage. A common trait these villains all have is that they have a charming outward appearance that masks their true natures; they don't look ugly nor are they unpleasant (ex. Wickham having great social skills, Willoughby following the trope of the knight rescuing Marianne as the damsel in distress but leaving behind many broken hearts, Mr. Elliott being charming and knowing exactly what to say and how to act but actually a swindler). In contrast, the "good" characters are honest, even at the cost of social displeasure, use manners/etiquette to show respect rather than deceive people, and act selflessly to prove their worth (actions speak louder than words). It can be summed up this way: "don't judge a book by its cover."

Psychology: Austen very effectively described hindsight bias when sarcastically commenting on how the village of Meryton turned on Wickham after the elopement with Lydia, when previously they regarded him as an "angel of light." She also understands how easy it is to manipulate peoples' minds through confirmation bias (Wickham telling Elizabeth all the dirt about Darcy, which she eagerly takes because she hates Darcy so much). She also knows that emotions can override people's judgment: "angry people are not always wise." It's fun seeing how her people are social animals who make flawed judgments based on first impressions/emotions.

The secondary characters: Mr. Collins the clergyman is the most famous and he's so funny because of his arrogance in spite of his low social position (he keeps worshiping Lady Catherine instead of respecting God). Another great one is Sir Walter Elliott, a nobleman who is vain and constantly checks himself in the mirror (the most obvious social criticism). Also Austen understood how women insult each other: through passive aggression (ex. Caroline Bingley and Louisa Hurst talking negatively about Elizabeth behind her back). Austen's female bullies use their talent and "good breeding" to intimidate or shame others.

The romance (no explanation needed): "You pierce my soul. I am half-agony, half-hope. I have loved none but you." I love how the couples learn about each other through many spirited conversations and become slowly fascinated with each other until they realize they are in love and then have a conflict between formality and their growing passion...or they fall back in love with each other...or they are friends who slowly realize that they are more than friends...okay I'll stop talking nonsense I've been trying so hard to be semi-scholarly

Tags: @talkaustentome @austengivesmeserotonin @austengeek @princesssarisa @appleinducedsleep @colonelfitzwilliams

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someonestolemyshoes · 3 years

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Off the Record

Hello!! I am super excited to finally post my entry for @levihan-drabbles competition :D The prompt was super interesting and I had a tonne of fun writing this one!

The prompt I received was: Hange posts a picture of Levi somewhere and it becomes a meme.

(For those curious, this is the meme I used for inspiration)

Hange pushed her plate across the table and grinned at him. "Levi! Fancy seeing you here! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Levi's lip curled.

"You know what," he said. Hange braced her elbows on the table and rested her chin atop her knotted fingers.

"Enlighten me."

Colour rose in Levi's cheeks. For a moment, Hange felt a little guilty. For all Levi's grumbling and grunting, Hange had never seen him angry before.

"That bullshit article."

"Ah. Was there a problem?"

Hange met Moblit in a small cafe a little way down the road from the newsroom. She was in good spirits—her morning had been productive; she'd made steady headway with research for her next interview, finished the final edits for a few smaller tabloid pieces she'd been meaning to brush up, attended three short, perfunctory meetings on tedious company policy, and laid the groundwork for another exciting interview opportunity.

She felt good. And now she had the pleasurable prospect of a hearty lunch, a passable cup of coffee, and perhaps best of all, Moblit's company. His company, and his camera.

Hange threw herself into the seat opposite Moblit the moment she spotted him, hunched over his laptop in a corner of the cafe. He lifted his coffee cup just in time for Hange to clatter against the table, the thin metal frame rattling precariously. She offered him a sheepish grin.

"Sorry," she said, and then, "got anything exciting?"

"I don't know about exciting. Interesting, maybe, but no breaking news."

Hange flagged down a passing waitress with one hand, and waved Moblit off with the other. "Doesn't matter, doesn't matter," she said, then paused to order a drink and her favourite sandwich. "Tell me anyway."

"I got a tip-off from a waiter at Sina's."

Hange's eyes sparkled behind her glasses. She sat forward in her chair, folding her arms on the table top as she leaned closer. "Who?"

"Take a guess."

Hange grinned at him. Moblit was not one to play coy; he did his job and did it well, and reported his findings efficiently. To leave her to question it meant one of two things; he had photographed someone very high profile indeed, or it was somebody Hange was, for better or for worse, well acquainted with.

Or perhaps, if she were lucky, it was both.

"Let me see him, then."

Hange had taken far too much time in the cafe with Moblit. He had given her a rundown of all the details he'd gathered during his field work that morning, and shown her through his extensive photo gallery. It was impressive, the kind of archive Moblit could cultivate with only a 45 minute breakfast window.

Hange had been delighted. Moblit was right; it wasn't breaking news, nothing particularly thrilling, but there was a corner of the Internet, Hange knew, that would delight in a trashy little article just like this. Something quick and simple to bulk up the social media feed for the afternoon.

Plus, there was a series of pictures Moblit had snapped, a cluster he'd thought to be of no real merit, that Hange simply could not pass up.

She could lay down no facts with a story like this one. There was no hard-hitting investigative journalism to be had, but she could at least offer some speculation based on her knowledge of the subjects involved, and spin a tale juicy enough to get people talking.

It took little time at all to put the article together. Hange scribbled up an outline for the contents—the location; Sina's in downtown Hizuru, a luxurious restaurant serving five star meals at every hour of the day. High in quality, sickeningly steep in price. The time of day; 9am. To the best of Hange's knowledge, this was rather out of character for the subject. He was an early riser, but according to their interview last March pending the premiere of his newest movie, he wasn't the type to eat much at all before lunch time.

And then, the company. Eren Yeager was a relatively well-known actor, barely an adult at nineteen. He starred in his first role a decade earlier, and had seen commercial success in multiple movies and TV shows ever since. He had been something of a prodigy in his younger years, bold and precocious, possessing a natural talent many actors years his senior couldn't even hope for. As Hange understood it, he had recently hit a rather troublesome phase. An interesting line of inquiry, but despite his talent and his fame, Eren's presence was simply a cameo, compared to the subject of the article Hange was drawing up.

Levi Ackerman.

Levi is a fan favourite and a media delight. He's attractive no doubt, and his performance in any and every role is almost always met with critical acclaim. Outside of his career, however, he's an elusive thing, silent in any matters pertaining to his private life. He avoids any public event like the plague, and rarely shows his face at premieres or award ceremonies if he can possibly avoid it. He gives interviews only when required by some contractual obligation or other, or else when the journalist in question is so painfully persistent that it is simply easier to give in than to keep fighting.

Little of his personal life is known, but it is impossible for someone in Levi's position to avoid interacting with anybody at all, and even the great Levi Ackerman is not above scrutiny.

There are rumours. Several of them, accounts from fellow cast members, from staff, from directors, and even Erwin, his manager, has alluded more than once to Levi's sour disposition. He is prone, Hange has heard, to fits of anger, and is easily disgruntled by minor inconveniences. His dislike of anything unclean or untidy is the stuff of legends—Hange has seen this first hand, at their very first interview. He had entered the room, scowled at the chair before sitting in it, and given Hange a thorough once over before announcing, with no hint of humour, "your glasses are filthy."

Hange had found him both fascinating and quite delightful, in his own strange way. When he acts, Levi sounds eloquent; he is a master of emotive performance, wringing the last drops of anger, despair, or grief out of each and every word, or else injecting the perfect giddy jitter, or a tremor of humour when the scene called for it. As soon as the cameras stop rolling, though, Levi's tone becomes flat, and without a script, his words are clumsy and crass. He communicates poorly, quick to throw insults and crude remarks. Hange has interviewed him a number of times—she counts herself very lucky that Levi will consent to her requests without too much fuss, these days—and each time she finds herself spending half of their time together translating his answers into something a) family friendly, and b) understandable to the everyday reader.

There is nothing for Hange to translate this time. Moblit managed to speak to the waiter after Levi and Eren had vacated in hopes of gleaning any small tidbit of knowledge regarding their conversation, but the venture had been hopeless. The pair had grown silent upon the approach of any staff member, and spoke in tones too hushed for anyone nearby to hear. They learned nothing they couldn't extrapolate for themselves from Moblit's pictures; Eren looked sheepish, avoiding Levi's gaze in favour of staring into his drink, while Levi—

Levi looked furious.

Every picture featured his signature frown, which, in and of itself wasn't enough to assume Levi to be in any mood besides neutral, but some of the photos show a hint of bared teeth or pursed lips, with his brows pulled lower than normal, the space between them deeply creased. Hange found herself curious as both a journalist and as an acquaintance. They may not be friends, but Hange liked to think she knew Levi a little better than most people, at least. She could find nothing in their past interactions to suggest any relationship with Eren beyond the strictly professional. They had over a decade between them, and though they had worked together on more than one set, neither party had ever said anything to insinuate so much as a friendly attitude between them.

There was no resolution to her queries to be easily found. And luckily for Hange, this particular piece didn't require any. It was a gossip article, something spicy, jam-packed with buzzwords, what-if's and more questions than answers, designed to make people wonder. Levi's name in the title would be enough to draw people in; Eren's name was an added bonus. But the star of the show was Moblit's photography. Hange arranged the images she had chosen in a grid. In context, the pictures were intriguing, depicting a particularly ferocious part of Levi and Eren's exchange. Out of context, they looked a little ridiculous. Both would bring readers onto their home page.

Satisfied with her work, Hange queued the finished article for review, and turned her attention back to her schedule.

The article launched mid-afternoon. Hange watched, somewhat satisfied, as it was received much as she had expected it to be. The activity on their Twitter account skyrocketed, the tweet in question garnering more likes, retweets and replies in the hour after it's post than any other they’d dropped in the last month.

Hange had allowed it to slip from her mind after the first hour or so. She received praise from her bosses, and a text from Moblit, jokingly demanding she pay him even more handsomely for his work than she already had, and her cousin had called her in the evening on a quest for insider gossip she could share with her friends, but that had been the end of it. Hange thought of it no more until early the following morning, when she had stopped by the quiet little cafe beneath her flat for breakfast and her favourite coffee.

She had been polishing off her pancakes when the bell above the door chimed. She had paid little attention to the newcomer, until a shadow passed over her table, and a familiar voice said, "Oi, shitty glasses."

Hange looked up to see Levi Ackerman himself standing over her, his face twisted in a scowl.

There are perks of being reasonably acquainted with Levi. Hange always gets to conduct his interviews, and Levi only ever turns her down if her request is unreasonable. Like that time she demanded he meet her at this very coffee shop for "just a quick piece, about the cameo you did for the new season of Titans", only to show him she'd bought a new pair of glasses—"look, all clean!"—and, when pressed, admitted there was no interview at all. He had been far more hesitant to indulge her in smaller affairs after that, but Hange was still lucky enough to be his only regular interviewer after big releases.

More interviews means more commission for Hange, and more high profile work with other celebrities. Yes, being acquainted with Levi has its bonuses.

But it also has its downsides. Namely, that Levi will not hesitate to turn up at her regular coffee shop to berate her after she has posted some complete and utter wank at his expense.

Hange pushed her plate across the table and grinned at him. "Levi! Fancy seeing you here! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Levi's lip curled.

"You know what," he said. Hange braced her elbows on the table and rested her chin atop her knotted fingers.

"Enlighten me."

Colour rose in Levi's cheeks. For a moment, Hange felt a little guilty. For all Levi's grumbling and grunting, Hange had never seen him angry before.

"That bullshit article."

"Ah. Was there a problem?"

"You're a piece of shit, you know that?"

Hange sat back in her chair and sipped at her coffee. Levi's face was full colour now, a pale pink flush from his neck right up to his hairline. Hange gave him a measured look, then kicked out the chair opposite her.

"Sit," she said. "If you have issues, I'd be happy to discuss."

Levi looked for a moment like he'd like nothing more than to strangle her. Then he pulled out the chair the rest of the way, and dropped himself into it.

"I don't give a fuck about the article," he said. "It's shitty gossip anyway."

Hange raised a brow at him. She opened her mouth to continue when, without prompt, a young waitress approached their table, practically bouncing on the spot as she stopped and gave Levi a dazzling smile. Her cheeks were flushed prettily, and Hange would have thought she were simply starstruck, if it weren't for the light of mirth in her eyes.

"Good morning, sir. Can I get you anything?" She gave Levi no chance to respond, before plowing on. "Water? Or tea, perhaps? Forgive me, but you seem a little upset. Might a nice tea calm you down?"

Levi grit his teeth. "No, thank you."

Hange almost apologised to the poor waitress on his behalf, but she didn't look bothered at all by his rudeness. In fact, she had barely turned from the table before she snorted in laughter, and caught her giggles in her hands as she scurried back behind the counter. A second passed, before all three waitresses snickered.

"That," Levi hissed, "is your fault."

Now Hange truly was confused. She furrowed her brow at him. "How does that have anything to do with me?"

"You and your stupid article," he said. Hange looked back to the waitress, who looked to their table again before falling into a fresh fit of giggles. Hange turned back to Levi, a little sympathetic.

"I think she just fancies you."

"You're trying to tell me you really don't know the mess you've caused?"

Hange shook her head slowly. Levi watched her closely, searching for proof of the lie, but Hange's earnestness must have shown through, for Levi's anger abated a little, and he slumped back on his chair.

In lieu of a verbal explanation, Levi pulled out his phone. He tapped the screen a few times, typed something out, and scrolled a little way, before placing the phone on the table and sliding it towards her. Hange pulled it closer with a frown.

The screen displayed Twitter, and showed the feed beneath the search for Levi's name. Hange scrolled a few posts, eyes widening little by little as she went.

Levi was right. The contents of the article were of little significance at all. The photo grid, however, had gone viral overnight.

It showed four pictures of Levi and Eren, taken in succession. Each one showed only a portion of the back of Eren's head, but Levi's expression in every frame was more animated than Hange had ever seen him outside of his movie scenes, and each was more distraught than the last. Face tight, jaw clenched, teeth bared, with his finger pointed condescendingly in Eren's face. The second last picture shows his brows arched and his lips pressed into a thin line, and the final one—

Hange had laughed at it in isolation when Moblit had shown her. She had fully expected it to garner a few laughs, but she hadn't expected a photograph of Levi furiously slurping his tea to become a meme in less than 24 hours.

"I see," Hange said, as she calmly slid the phone back to him. "In my defense, you don't help yourself. It wouldn't be half as funny if you didn't hold your tea cup so weird."

"In my defense," Levi snapped, "If you didn't post it online nobody would have anything to laugh at."

Hange crossed her arms on the table and leaned towards him, smiling pleasantly. "In your defense, you wouldn't have been so angry in public if it weren't for whatever Eren had to say. What was that about, by the way? I'm terribly curious."

Hange expected a very Levi response to her prying; a scowl, perhaps a quick kick under the table, an 'It's none of your damn business, four-eyes', if she were lucky.

What she got instead was a haughty sniff, and a gruff, "He's fucking my cousin."

For a moment, they were silent. Either Levi's anger at his new meme status had temporarily disabled the part of his brain that blocked any mention of his private life from slipping past his lips in the wrong company, or something about Eren's indiscretion had rattled him so much, he couldn't keep silent about it. Either way, he looked increasingly surprised—and horrified—at himself for saying it out loud. Hange's eyes were wide, and Levi's were growing wider by the second. Of all the people to slip up to, he had slipped up to her. An entertainment journalist, the one person in his life who thrived on this kind of insider knowledge.

Hange swallowed. Levi was still staring at her like a deer in headlights, no doubt painfully aware that there was no taking back what he had said now.

Hange doesn't take a great deal of pride in what she does. She feels satisfied when her stories receive the reception she'd predicted, validated in her ability to analyse their consumer base and make accurate assumptions about what will hit and what won't, but the work itself feels dirty, at times. An opportunistic scavenger feeding on whatever carrion they can find, no matter how rotten it may be.

This is a perfect opportunity. Salacious details of Levi's interpersonal relationships, right from the horse's mouth. If it were anyone else, Hange would be scribbling every word verbatim in her notebook.

But this is Levi. Levi, who seems jarred by her last article (though Hange will maintain this, at least, is no real fault of her journalism, and also, absolutely hilarious) and was clearly, for whatever reason, incensed by Eren's actions.

Hange brushed her palms over her thighs, and picked a speck of lint from her trousers.

"This is nice, isn't it?" She said, "having breakfast together. We should do it more often. It feels good to just talk, sometimes. Off the record."

Levi blinked rapidly at her. He opened his mouth, but, still too shocked by his own loose tongue to speak, he said nothing. Hange pulled her phone from her bag and fiddled around with it some, tapping here and there, until she found what she was looking for. She turned it to Levi, and said, "I think this is my favourite edit so far."

Levi finally pulled his gaze from her, and looked down at the screen. It was truly something, the way the picture snapped him out of his stunned silence. Hange had never seen someone's face pinch up so rapidly.

"Come on, it's kinda funny. And look! That's Tony Stark, right? People are so creative. And maybe, if we're really lucky, Buzzfeed will do a compilation article of all the best ways people have used your new meme."

Levi rolled his eyes at her. It looked strange, with his face so tightly twisted. Hange chuckled at him.

She nudged his ankle beneath the table with the toe of her shoe. "Lighten up, you look constipated."

"Oi, out of the two of us I'm not the one who's full of—"

"—Full of shit, I know, I know. That honour is all mine."

They lapsed into another silence, this one marginally more comfortable than the last. Hange finished the last of her coffee and checked her emails, while Levi tortured himself some more by scrolling through his Twitter feed. After a short while, he spoke again.

"That...doesn't sound bad," he said.

"Hm?"

"What you said about talking more. Off the record. It doesn't sound bad."

It was Hange's turn to flush. Heat rose in her cheeks, and she occupied herself by rifling through her bag in search of nothing.

"Yeah?" Her voice, an octave higher than usual, cracked around the vowels. She cleared her throat, "will you have more gossip for me? It's almost painful that I can't share it, you know."

"Good. I'll share as many secrets as I've got, if it'll bother you that much."

"Sounds terrible," Hange said. She tore a clean corner off her napkin and scribbled her personal number onto it. She slid it over the table to him. "Text me."

Levi pulled a face at the piece of napkin. "Is that used? Gross, shitty four-eyes." He pocketed it anyway.

Hange didn't know what else to say. Levi didn't seem to either, and so he stood, and tucked his chair back in. Hange turned her eyes down to her empty plate. Her stomach and chest felt strange, almost sickly, but in an oddly pleasant way.

Levi rapped his knuckles on the table. Hange jumped, startled, and looked up at the sound.

"This part is on the record," he said. The corner of Levi's mouth quirked into a small, barely there grin. "I heard from a reliable source that Eren was so scared on the set of Last War that he pissed his pants. Twice."

#Levihan #snk #my writing #THIS ONE WAS SO FUN I would like to revisit this one day #I enjoyed their dynamic hehe

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