#i only hope that this helps someone else struggling with their own art journey

[shadale-s-safe-space]

I don't know much about you as a person, but from what I can gather you've had a long journey with art, but still have the motivation to continue even when its rough. I'm sure you didn't start out making masterpieces, so if its not too much trouble, do you have any advice for a 16 year old artist losing motivation? i feel like im stagnating right now and its awful

Idk man, all I can say is, draw watchu want without the care who's gonna see it or what they gonna say , commit to new ideas and care less about pleasing everyone, because I know that way too well, I started learning by drawing animals, flowers and nature, "you should draw something else", switches to furries " No you must do human portraits", draws humans *no one fuckin cares*, and I felt miserable drawing what I didn't want all the damn time just trying to please everyone and be liked, hell, I still do that sometimes cuz I'm a dumbass. When in reality, when you do your own thing is when you're the happiest, this internet bullshit? Yeah don't trust the likes and favs, people like what they find relatable, no one really knows how much time you've spent on your drawing or how much you love it, when a 5 min doodle you did could do more than a painting that took 2 whole days to complete just to be scrapped in a new speedy record, paint what you love for yourself and you only.

Don't be shy to learn new things, I have tons of stuff I don't post here cuz I know people wouldn't care about it, but here for this post, have this that I practiced when I felt too depressed to think of anything good and wanted to step back from the MD artstyle

You'll see, you'll thrive when you draw what you want, and get yourself a drawing buddy! That way you'll stop focusing on the internet and more on each other, and each other's improvement. Tbh I struggled with that one. Since everyone I had were not into art irl, I somehow managed to find someone after 10 years of drawing alone. I honestly wanted more people to join in and make an improvement circle, but unfortunately that never happened.

I found myself twice as productive now than ever, even though I'm not active here as much I am still drawing and making things, ofc giving you more comics! And other fun things in the future I hope.

If you're struggling to draw something just do it, man commit, i was uncomfortable drawing men and male characters for years, I've wasted so many years being "too uncomfortable" and draw a naked person like yeesh who fucking cares, it's for studying.

And ofc if you feel like you're not improving at all please, please experiment with your artstyle and try something new, please refresh your mind, I was stuck for years doing the same thing over and over, same colors, same 2px brush, drawing like a machine same shit over and over, I felt so stuck and lost, but also afraid to do something new, idk why, I guess I never felt good enough or deserving of it. I also didn't go to art school, I am NOT a professional, nor will i ever be in my opinion. Hell, me feeling like I'll never be good enough left me afraid to try and apply for art school, they were asking for sculptures, different mediums all that scary stuff and I was like, I don't.. know.. how to do those things... I can't build a portfolio in less than 3 months?!?! I don't even know how to use half of what they're asking for!!

In reality at the end of the day, art is what you make of it and no one can stop you, search for inspirations and don't be afraid to try, yes you'll fail fist 2 or 10 or hell even 100 times, but you'll come back with more knowledge than ever.

For ending I give you the most confusing drawing to ever exist [dw he's just sleeping on top of her and she's just ghasping for air but awe romance or sum lol] is it weird? Yeah but I had a fun time making it hahaha

Idk I'm bad at putting my thoughts together, but hopefully some of this helps.

#murder drones #murder drones oc #artists on tumblr #digital painting

[archerism]

hey sorry to ask this on your non-art blog but i was wondering if you could explain the process and decisions you make when - and im not sure if im saying this properly because im still new to art - you apply stylistic choices to anatomy? i love your art and what im curious about is how you make your anatomy stylistic while retaining their recognizability? do you feel that there are certain details about a reference that you should capture to retain that more than others? thank you for your time! i hope this made sense!

anon you're lovely. i'll try and answer this the best i can, but--crucially--i have very little in the way of actual artistic training and have truly been making shit up this whole time, so grain of salt for everything i say! (under the cut because its long)

firstly i wanna say 2 disclaimers:

i have been doing art/capturing faces for a Long Ass Time (i think art's been my main hobby for...nearly a decade now?). i'm only "good" because i have a shit ton of practice. art always takes time and effort, there isn't like. A Key to doing it perfectly

i don't always get it right! i only post the things which turn out the best! i have a ton of poorly done drawings that look nothing like the person i'm trying to capture.

alright, that being said. there are certain features i try to get right for any person i'm trying to capture: face shape/jawline, nose, eye shape/tilt/distance, eyebrows, and lips (or lack thereof). yes this may seem like all the features. it is not tho.

after that i look for anything else that stands out: for BJ, for instance, it's his ears, the shape of his forehead/his hairline, and the particular kinda down-turned/hangdog look of his stache (he is SO hard to draw without it, for me), and for Hawkeye it's his cheeks/laugh lines when he smiles (the lines around his mouth and his crow's feet), his occasional double chin, and his brow ridge.

and these aren't things i ever render in like, insane detail...just little lines following the contours of features and indicating that they're There usually does fine? for stronger features like face shape/nose/etc it takes a bit more intentional doing, for me, but i still tend to just do The Outlines. (it might be helpful to pull up a reference and just trace whichever features stick out the most to you, and go from there)

after that its a lot of trial and error. like, a LOT. for me it usually takes several passes with several different references at different angles/with different expressions, or a while of looking at a person (so like. binging a show, or being friends with someone for a while), or both, in order to get a feel for someone's face and be able to draw it consistently.

(to illustrate this point and also embarrass myself, here are my first ever attempts at drawing Hawkeye right after i started MASH in 2022, vs a much more recent attempt:

as you can see i was fucking struggling. lmao. again it's all about time/practice/familiarity)

after a while of trial and error, you'll start to get a feel for which features you want to emphasize--it won't be the same for every character, and you probably won't emphasize all the same things another artist would. and the specific way you capture/emphasize features will be unique to you! here are some more artists with similar(ish) stylized styles you should check out and get inspo from (i certainly have), in no particular order: leescribbs, loopnoid, steadbox, tinyufoboss, averysartblog, pherredraws, and a ton more i'm probably forgetting (sorry)

you don't have to do everything i do (or everything anyone else does) with your own stuff, this is just how i personally do it. i wish you the best of luck with your art journey, anon! i hope you have fun with it!!! :-)

#asks #tldr: its all about the Shapes and Lines and also It Depends #idk if this was helpful at all??? but. i tried #unfortunately ive been doing this for so long that i just kinda. Do It? so its hard to explain #HOW i do it. yknow #but anyway. #thinks for thanking of me anon. this was a very sweet message to get in my ask box <3

[khthepowerofmemories]

Masterpost (Updated 1/27/23)

Congrats, you’ve wandered here. If you want to take on what’s basically a novel series, be my guest. Please. Please be my guest.

To be added: links to comics, drabbles, art

My Ao3 in general

The Power of Memories Timeline:

Full Series (including Chains of Light Timeline)

The Power of Memories:

(Story of future children of Sora/Kairi and Riku/Unknown) Can two first time Keyblade Wielders save the worlds from the memories of their predecessors? Neither Akio nor Haru had any idea what would come when they left their homes that night; but they find themselves brought together on the adventure of a lifetime. Remember: memories can be more powerful than reality. (Highly connected story arcs posted here, being posted in large chunks because it is complete) Who wants some rewrites? I do, I do! Starting at Chapter 36, complete rewrite as of 4/16/22. I don’t think I will delete the original version from Ao3, and I don’t think it’s acceptable to make another story for a rewrite of your own, so tacked at the end it is. New readers, please start at chapter 36! Edit again: I have deleted the old version and will post the rewrite as I write it. I am more comfortable with this.

A Bottle of Stars: New Version:

(Complete rewrite of an old story--the only things the same are the bare-bones, so I am reposting it here) Emi lives a normal life in Twilight Town--or so she thinks. Suddenly faced by having lived in an illusion for most of her life, Emi is thrust out into reality and onto a journey to rescue missing Keyblade Masters. With the help of Lea, she finds out just how much she was wrong about, and begins to learn about reality. Jet was sent to keep Emi in an illusion for her own protection from Origin, a being made of the memories of someone long gone. Origin had captured all the Masters, but with Kingdom Key missing, he is one Keyblade short of seven. It was for this reason that Emi was taken into protection. When Emi leaves the illusion, Jet is faced with death--until Origin takes it from him. Emi must rescue her best friend along with everyone else, while struggling to learn to exist in reality. (Part of the Power of Memories Series) (More will be added after first story is posted, keeping these characters neatly in their own realm)

Solace Arc: 

Continuation of an old series from several years ago, mainly just unfinished fragments. After the events of Power of Memories, there is a brief period of peace. Soon, however, Sora, Riku, and Kairi are called upon to find other missing Keyblade Wielders. Not willing to leave their children behind, Akio and Haru are brought along for the journey, along with a stowaway. What shows hope to be a simple trip to keep a family together turns to tragedy with the arrival of a mysterious man known as Solace, who has come to prove that not all light is good. (Posted in entirety 6/10/19) (Origin of Solace from Chains of Light) As of 1/11/22, the retcon of the final several chapters is posted. Leaving the old version in place, but I’m adding on an ‘actually, this’ sort of chapter.

Good Timeline:

After the battle with Solace was over, Akio was still broken, and even when he awoke, something is still missing. He realizes that he was the original Akio, but the one who took his place for him is gone. He cannot fill his place, no matter how hard he tries, and things end up boiling over. However, after the chaos, he begins to form his own, new life, allowing his relationship with Tori to grow. However, that piece that held his place wanders the Final World. Taking on the name ‘Akihiko’ when he finds out there is someone in his place, he fights to find his way back home, knowing that though he has no memory of such, he isn’t the first Akio. In a twist of fate, Akihiko makes it home. Pieces all back in place, both their lives can resume. AKA, Akihiko survives and Akio doesn’t fall on the path to become the Master of Masters. (This story is never going to end, so this is really just a brief summary of what’s happened so far/will continue to take place. As stated, this story will never end. The Good Timeline stuff will be placed here. The ‘canon’ timeline…well, that’s a story for another day.) (the first few links will link to my personal blog where these were first posted)

Redemption:

Scrapped story in the Chains of Light/Power of Memories timeline. Posting it because it's literally finished but I changed paths with the story entirely. Sequel to 'The Undone'. After being slayed by Solace, Superbia somehow wakes intact. He is lost as to what to do with this second chance--after all, does he really deserve it? He is the Master of Masters after all, or maybe he was. Sometimes reality is hard to keep in line… Well, Luxu isn't letting him go anywhere, so might as well try to figure out what happened to Ava in the breaking of the timeline. That gives some direction to head… Posting all five chapters at once.

True Timeline Continuation:

(The true continuation of the Power of Memories Series, takes place after Solace Arc. Posting it now a chapter at a time, because it's going really slow.) Akio wakes up after the injuries inflicted by Solace…The Real Akio. Turned out, that the Akio who led the story was a front--a separate facet of his heart…that had to sacrifice himself to stop the Real Akio from dying. Akio wakes up forced into a life that he isn't used to. He hasn't been himself for a few years, and his family knows the 'Other Akio', not him…How can he face a life he never had? How can he accept that the 'Other him' and Yami sacrificed themselves so that he could live? Additional descriptions to be added. Please read note at the start of the story. Please DO NOT READ THIS STORY if heavy descriptions of mental illness, suicidal thoughts/intent, mentions of past abuse and other trauma are triggering to you!

Solace arc scene comic:

Fears and Doubts Disappear

Drabbles:

The End/Dynasty

Within Dreams

End Credits

Attack

Press Triangle for Tori (Excerpt from Solace Arc)

Excerpt from Dark!Tori timeline

Except from Until We Meet Again

Bones Shatter

Live On

First To Quadratum

Serenity

Maps

Pieces

Hell's Comin' With Me

How To Burn A Night

Untitled Akio/Haru Fluff

Untitled Akio/Haru Fluff 2

Love Like You

Loyal, Brave, and True

Crawling

Like a Villain

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

Hey I thought I could ask for some advice on this as I do not know what would be a healthy boundary in regards to this. I've lately been struggling with a relapse first because of depression then because of illness. It's been hard as only one friend really knows or cares about it. I greatly appreciate her for this. But I have been running into an issue with an unaware friendgroup. We have this discord server and it normally is fine. Nothing too heavy and mostly just art and video games. We do have a vent channel and this person is slowly starting to post more about their weight and calorie counting and bmi. I am highly competitive which is an issue I need to resolve myself. On the other hand I feel that this is a safe place and I'm allowed to be able to say I'd really appreciate no weight loss discussion there as I've also felt that I should not brinf my issues up there. Would it be an okay thing to do to maybe ask this person to not discuss weight loss?

I always struggle to see the line between my competitiveness and my actual triggers. I'm currently unable to go home much because my brother has developed an exercise addiction and my family says my concerns are out of line. They also have said his behaviour is normal and past situations have made me feel that discussing things that trigger me can lead to people getting aggressive and annoyed. This is why i feel really scared to adress this in my friendgroup.

I'm so sorry for the long ask. I really appreciate your posts, they help me remind myself that I should keep going despite all the hardships I'm facing <3

Wow, that can be really difficult to navigate! I would say you are ABSOLUTELY allowed to confide your issues to your friends, and that if they are good friends they will understand and respect your need for healing. Do be prepared to encounter an issue that many of us in ED recovery encounter, where we have to make hard choices when some of our friends are not so good at being supportive.

I think, depending on what you feel comfortable sharing with people in the vent channel, you would be well within your rights to share maybe just a small amount of your backstory to give context as to why this is triggering for you - stuff like "I have had to work hard to recover from an eating disorder, and I still have some triggers." However, if you don't feel comfortable sharing that, you could simply go with the lines "It is not good for my mental health to be part of conversations about weight, BMI, or dieting. I hope you understand and understand that although I do care, these things are not good for my health."

Do understand that while you are well within your rights to at least put this out there, your friend may say no. You're allowed to voice your issues, but your friend has been using this as a space to vent their own issues. Hopefully the conversation is at least had respectfully and everyone is able to stick to a solution that works for everybody. If not, you can respectfully tell the group something like, "I understand. For my safety and mental health my only option is to stay out of this chat for an indeterminate period of time." These are hard choices to make and can hurt, but setting this boundary may free you up to find people who do support your mental health needs.

As for your family, it's harder for me to give you advice simply because I don't know the degree to which your brother is exercising. I think that gym bros can absolutely take it to an unhealthy extreme and get absorbed in damaging fad diets and stuff like that, but since I don't know what your brother is doing, I cannot verify that that's the case. Whether or not his exercise is unhealthy, I can offer you this recovery advice: you can only control your own recovery journey in the end. You do someone else's recovery, especially if they are not looking to change anything. So perhaps you could ask your brother and family members not to discuss his gym stuff/diets with you? Frame it as a way to protect yourself, because it is causing you so much concern and stress.

If you find yourself getting triggered to the point of being aggressive, it is always okay to ask for a break in the conversation. Taking a step back can help you regulate and find a coping strategy to get into a calmer frame of mind, where it will be easier to think of a next move. "Can I get back to you in a bit? I need to think about that a little more," is an okay thing to say.

No need to apologize for the long ask, I hope you are able to heal and make these things a part of your learning/growth journey!

#healing #long post #ed recovery

[existentialmagazine]

Review: ARO’s newest single ‘Let Me Go’ feels longingly nostalgic and ethereally atmospheric in sound whilst lyrically breaking hearts

American singer-songwriter ARO has always found herself creating through the arts, attending an art and design school before later using her music as a tool to delve into mental health and alchemise some of the darker parts of herself. From her lyricism that continually tends to themes that aren’t as widely spanning, ARO also makes her neurodivergence a core consistent theme within what she writes, giving a platform to the inner chaos she finds from living in a one-size-fits-all culture. Fusing together pop, fusing electro pop and R&B, with a touch of hip-hop and pop-rock, ARO’s work is a constant mesh of fluctuating emotion and sound, finding her work circles around that freedom. Her newest single ‘Let Me Go’ only further embodies this wide-spanning air of creation, a truly one of a kind release you won’t be able to tear yourself away from.

Rooted in an atmospheric alternative sound, ‘Let Me Go’ right away glides through a warm, nostalgic bedding of intertwining instrumentals, soaking up an ambience that subtly aches amidst the song’s glowing sounds. Led in by a shimmering synth that fades into the first verse, ‘Let Me Go’ thrives amidst its catchy pop instrumentals that are almost revamped from how you’d usually hear them used within ARO’s gripping styling, utilising electronic elements in a way that’s emotionally evocative above all else. Pulsating electronic synth crackles, a quick succession of beats and occasional synth whirs combine for the verses intermission, an easy-going palette of sound that you can’t help but linger within, wrapped around ARO’s every word and stirred by her melancholic undertones. Encapsulating you within her vocals, ARO hauntingly cascades through an airy, higher range the entire way through ‘Let Me Go’ , delivering a personal message with a softness and sincerity that’ll leave you floating in her sound. The pre-chorus simmers into beats that slow and echo out into more of a vast space while also seeing speeding but subtle electric guitar strums, together creating a moment that’s poignant and more gritty than the rest of the release. But the energy shifts once again into one hell of a climactic chorus, seeing a vibrant concoction of synth sound effects and thumping beats you can’t help but sway along with, never for a moment losing the atmospheric glow that makes ‘Let Me Go’ the mesmerisingly ethereal journey it shines as.

Written from the more unseen perspective of the heartbreaker, ARO finds herself penning the experiences of a routine saboteur whilst dipping into her own avoidant tendencies, self-aware but struggling to change this cyclical pattern regardless. As she once again leads on another person who’s fallen for her whilst she only grows more distant, ARO sings ‘he doesn’t wanna let me go… you’ve gotta let me go’, conscious that she’s giving false hope to all those who walk her path but enjoying the destruction all the same. The striking chorus hook sees ARO compare herself to negative events, expressing that ‘I’m the fire when the lightening strikes, the gut punch when I say goodbye’ , clearly carrying a guilt for her calamitous actions and the person she’s become, but still burned by an internal battle of opening herself to commitment that she can’t seem to work through. More lines like ‘I didn’t mean to make you feel complete’ carry the burden of her actions even more heavily, knowing full well that she’s causing someone to yearn for the possibility of being with her while she only ever sees herself leaving. Everything about ‘Let Me Go’ is authentic and real, telling an incredibly human story that isn’t always perfect nor would many feel confident sharing about themselves, but ARO has delivered it in a way you can feel the resentment and pain within just as much on her side than those she breaks the hearts of. For absolutely enthralling lyricism like ‘I’m a natural disaster, no Gods, no masters’, look no further than this incredibly poignant release that sheds a much needed light on the experiences of those who break hearts more than they get their own broken.

ARO adds that “So much of my art is about giving the darker parts of myself a platform. There are these aspects of myself that cannot be tamed, and so instead of beating my head against a wall trying to control them I’ve found that my art allows me to be in relationship with them. When I write I’m not butting in to tell them how they should be, I’m not trying to get them to behave, or do better, or have a positive outlook, I’m just letting that part of me speak freely. And I learn a lot about myself through this process… This song (Let Me Go) is one of the first songs I wrote, about a year ago. I never had any intentions of producing it or sharing it, and I think that’s what makes this start of my music career feel so special right now. I started off just creating for myself.”

Check out ‘Let Me Go’ here to appreciate ARO’s stunning instrumental bedding and lyricism that’s both catchy and sincere all the same!

Written by: Tatiana Whybrow

Photo Credits: Unknown

// This coverage was created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator.

#music #singlereview #ARO

[mi604meganseeney]

My original idea was of a game titled 'The Realm of Morpheus' which would follow the path of single mother Aisha and her two children Mimi and Jamie. The initial concept was that Aisha would embody the motif of a guardian angel and battle her children's nightmares in the dream realm, while simultaneously trying to combat her own night terrors. While I still really enjoy this idea, it felt like it would be less of a relaxing playthrough and more focused on raising awareness to the struggles of PND rather than actively helping it.

I then moved to looking at games such as 'Spiritfarer' which has tackled complex issues such as dealing with loss and grief in a positive, uplifting way. The game centres around the character Stella who acts as a 'spiritfarer' of the dead, meaning she ferries them to the afterlife and learns to say goodbye to each unique character she meets along the way. A large part of the gameplay includes refurbishing the boat she sails on while completing her quests. I really liked the boat aspect of this game, it felt like although there may not be a heavy plot, the travelling aspect kept the story moving and present.

I kept the idea of a boat in the back of my mind while I moved on to another concept. This time I thought about a small town wherein the player would own a shop of some kind. I thought of there being some type of enchanted shop where you would play as a witch brewing potions or casting spells for local town members in order to help them and pay to upgrade your shop and spell kit. While I liked this idea, it wasn't inspiring me as much as I had hoped it would and so it was eventually scrapped.

Treatment ideas for Miranda the witch

I then went on to think about what I found cute or comforting and began to look at the idea of playing as an animal. Games such as 'Stray' and 'Endling' have had a revolutionary take on putting the player into the mind of something or someone else. While 'Stray' focuses on the story of a stray cat set in a possible dystopian future where humans have vanished and the only remnants of society are the robots we left behind, 'Endling' directly focuses on the relationship between a mother fox and her cubs as she desperately tries to keep them alive in a future where they are the only ones left of their kind. My favourite animal is the otter and so I knew I would love to design an otter character.

[ADD PICTURES]

I initially moved along the same route as 'Endling' and 'Stray' and attempted to focus more on a realistic story of a mother otter set in a 2D layout as seen in games such as 'Inside' or 'Limbo' in which the character can only move backwards and forwards. I ended up finding this design stagnant and boring. I wanted it to be visually appealing with an enjoyable, cutesy gameplay that was as easy to follow as any other mobile game and so my design direction changed once more.

This time, I looked into games like Animal Crossing and thought of things such as Sylvanian Families. It was at this point I came across a tiktok from the creator @ quillnics who does a series of tiktoks following a merchant cat in a travelling wagon with her two small kittens. I absolutely love these videos and found them massively inspiring in helping to create my own game concept, largely inspired by these videos.

I came up with the idea of an otter merchant named Romelda, who has three small pups; Pop, Pip and Puz. I designed the layout for a map for 'Cozy Cove', an island featuring a host of different characters with different personalities and interests. Romelda lives in a riverboat called 'The Travelling Treasure Chest' as she explores deep caverns of water to find lost treasures or enchanted objects which she sells as she journeys to different parts of the cove.

[oxiegoeimi]

. Art| The Inner Struggle Artist| #StijnVanDoorselaere Torrents running overhead and silence encompassing this reality, I hadn’t expected it to turn out quite like this. Compiling data and pursuing meaning, nothing would stand in my way. Without time to spare or excuses to put up with willingly, I took my leave every time the cuts dug further than intended. Even when the apologies flowed, my heart was callous and mind set on not being hurt again. Without second thought, I threw away relationships and drove intentions far away. Projecting insecurities, I decided that my evil was someone else’s coming against my life. With an ego inflated by wealth, accomplishment, and prestige; there was no one to understand how hard I’ve had it. Lies . . . So, locking out help and love, I pushed the idea of good people out of my soul. I’d rely on pretending to believe them. I’d put a mask on to blend in with the whole. I’d say the right things and listen intently to ensure that my responses were safe. But, I’d never let anyone into my psyche. I know I’m making myself out to be my own worst enemy. Common? Yup. Easier to be a lost cause than hope for something positive just to be disappointed . . . The lesson? The only results of pessimism and faking it are lost time, scars, and emptiness. So; I figured it out and am making the corrections, right? I grew up and gained humility? Now, I’m enlightened and will show people how to do it better? If I’m not transparent, history will repeat itself . . . disguised as healing. Yup. - oxiegoeimi calm 11.1 🦁🏳🔐💙 remember to always #trust #nature 🌲 #Healer 🔥 #Spirit 🕊 #hope ⚜️ #grace ☔️ #love 🌸 #life 🌊 #unity 🌈 #believe 💝 #weareone ✂️🕚🎶 #energy #PinkySwear #prayer #meditation #freelove #hereandhereafter #dream #vision #Eternity #paradise #infinity #light #origin #writing #source journey #create #coexist #together 💜🌠🌅🌟 (at Hope) https://www.instagram.com/p/CkS4XVIrRfk/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#stijnvandoorselaere #trust #nature #healer #spirit #hope #grace #love #life #unity #believe #weareone #energy #pinkyswear #prayer #meditation #freelove #hereandhereafter #dream #vision #eternity #paradise #infinity #light #origin #writing #source #create #coexist #together

[rsmrymnt-tea]

「 🐳 」 ohh and what a glorious revelation it must be to realize that your newly gained blue whale anon has decided to reach out to you after silently gazing at your posts for the past few months like a stray, black cat curiously watching you do your silly little daily tasks from your wooden fence, and deciding to finally interact not because it was nervous, but because it thought that the time was finally right for it to show you that it can speak and hope that you find meaning in its words in the midst of all that is hopeless ♡ /lh

yes—i did include gw2 ost!! i noticed that you were always going on about it beginning from a few months ago, and thus i decided to listen to all 9+ hours of it on spotify and delicately put aside my favorites to revisit for later playlists. making playlists for people's ocs, as i've said, is something i heavily enjoy doing!

the contents of the playlist came to me naturally considering how i had specific thoughts about dolasach in mind; there wasn't too much of a struggle as a result. to me, creating content, both literature and art-wise, for others doesn't take much of my energy because i genuinely wish to express that inspiration to others in hopes that they get to create more self-serving content. the description of dola's playlist in particular comes from something i wrote,

“you killed yourself and a garden grew. you looked into the mirror, watched it crack with lightning and felt fury at existence, stifling and electric. you drowned in a pit of tar thick hatred, let it line your tongue and pool beneath your eyes because at least this way you’d be preserved. you dug the grave with your halo, all light and holy diving into the dark, and planted the seeds of solitude ready to bloom into a headstone. abandoned were the zinnias, the poppies, the hope and the love. instead you turned back to camellias and roses, classics revived in a cemetery. the garden was cold. you didn’t know death could grow, but here you are.”

dolasach “died”, and from what i remember, would eventually come back to visit her own grave with what i would imagine to be contempt. to who or what it would be directed towards, i wouldn't know, but would it be so far off to say that it would be towards herself, someone lacking of a great deal of self-compassion and seeks connection as a supplement as she works through her own issues? this thought in mind reminds me a lot of belphegor—

sloth is associated with a variety of complex emotions (more than laziness & apathy), and it all boils down to depression. no love for yourself, others, and all that's left to manifest is anger towards everything because you cannot feel anything else. you desperately try to cling onto something, and that something is self-pity; when you're so disconnected, you can only feel rage (and i think it's a reason why satan & belphegor get along with the exception of their shared interests). i'm not saying that dolasach particularly fits in like a glass slipper with this concept, but i am reminded of her.

like the wildflowers that intimately wrap around her body, she seems to grow in many directions regardless of whether they will aid or hinder her in her journey and i believe that it's genius of you to include so much metaphorical death within her story when she has heavy implications of being in love with flowers (or was that a simple aesthetic choice, i wonder?)

she is full of exhaustion, but there seems to be a yearning to capture the resilience of the wildflowers she so seems to love very much. she isn't delicate by no means, but it's so painfully obvious that she wishes to love in spite of how she looks at herself and can't help but look past her shell and struggle to find something beautiful.

that is what i thought when making her instrumentals-only playlist ^^

i would've included elden ring ost for dolasach, but unfortunately, it isn't on spotify :( but even so, the unravel ost fit perfectly for her ... because i remember those series of posts from a few months ago when you were discussing dola's irish origins with someone, and how you wished to do research for her regarding those origins! the ost in of itself resembles celtic music, despite it being scandinavian in nature.

the dola art i saw was simply none other than your pfp ^^ i was curious as to who it was, so i dug through your account to see if there was a reference sheet for a mc! and there's no shame in tailoring an oc for a canon character if it brings you joy~ it's a lot fun to brainstorm when it comes down to that! especially since you need to seriously analyze the character, and then attempt to comfortably fit them in with your own mc without jeopardizing the story you wish to tell with them.

my adhd begs me to include this part for the description i wrote, but usually when i write descriptions of ocs like that, i always think of them being the innermost thoughts of my mc as her ceramics are being spun with a single flawed touch-- lack of delicacy or a tremor-- the red of the earth tainting the sweet ivory silk that billows with each flowing, curtain-esque movement, sealing fate.

and that is what makes my creations so easy to, well, create! my perspective is magnified from someone else (oc) who is humble and dignified, and yet, has a taste for looking too closely in the hopes of filling in the puzzle pieces to formulate a clearer picture, hoping that the person challenges her on an intellectual level. as for myself, i'm someone who scrutinizes with the intimidating aura of elizabeth bennet's (pride & prejudice) wit, and it often receives mixed reactions (much to both my amusement and my “ah, not again”'s). ^^;; my oc indirectly helps me become more likely to see through a (hopefully) unbiased lens, rather than a stubborn one full of judgement.

and uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu the yokai event alone was so mid tbh,, i don't know if you got the impression from what i said before, but i'd like to confirm that my sights were primarily set on what small, itty bitty pieces of information i could use for my own liking rather than genuinely enjoy the event itself </3 seriously so pissed at the devs for doing satan so dirty. i can't help but think it's out of spite for how the fandom pushed them to make satan like that back when obm first released...

OOF funny how when I threw this into my drafts, I had a bit of preamble on about how it took a while to get to this and now I've answered the newer asks before I got to this one because I forgot I even had this in the drafts >.>

First off--insane to me that you listened to all of it on Spotify? Like, without the game? I'm happy that my rambling about Guild Wars got you to listen to it though! I'm biased as fuck and think that it's got an amazing soundtrack, and personally think that the music started shining more once they stopped getting Jeremy Soule to do their music >.< Can't thank you enough for making the playlist really, because holy shit?

The media that a lot of the music you chose came from intrigues me as well. It's probably not that deep, but there's something about seeing Omori, Unravel, and The Beginner's Guide of all games there, aside from Guild Wars 2. I'm made extra curious about what Sky is now, since a lot of music came from there. There's something very fitting to me that Omori and The Beginner's Guide made it in the playlist.

Nonnie seriously, that playlist is the only thing keeping me tied to Spotify right now hgkjdgfh oh my goodness >.< Ever grateful, and really still so stunned that you went through the trouble. I know you said it comes fairly easy to you, but it doesn't diminish just how touched I am. My goodness >w<

Now... I'm not even sure how to approach everything you said about Dolasach because a lot of it really is striking food for thought--is this how authors feel when their characters are analyzed by someone smarter than them? sjkghdfjgjdfgh

Tbh, the comparison to Belphie and her alignment with Sloth surprised me, because I've always seen Dolasach as someone who actively fought against it in as many forms you can think of. Like you said, she really tries to grow, sometimes not caring in which direction she goes. Contentment is something she wishes she could have, yet it's something she always fears and she knows it; it's part of why there are times she wishes she could just die, because death is probably the most rest she'll ever have. But she also refuses to give in to the urge, even more so after her death at Belphie's hands.

But early on, yes. In the years right before her first year in the Devildom, her life had grown painfully stagnant, and being away from the pressures of her blood family and fully with the freedom to contemplate what she herself really wanted for herself lead to the realization that she's lost and unable to move forward, and has no one she was willing to speak to regarding her troubles. She'd isolated herself without really trying, and the lack of any meaningful connection with anyone or anything to live for lead to her wanting to break routine and force herself to find reason to keep going.

I think she thinks that i's enough for her that others love her if she can't love herself. She doesn't truly understand why, but learns to accept it and thrive under the gentle warmth that her partners and her found family bring her. Despite how much trouble being in the Devildom has given her (including dying and watching herself die), the unexpected whisking away to an exchange program that someone else signed her up for ended up giving her a new lease on life by giving her some beings to love and be loved by, and new passions to explore in the form of magic and magical studies.

Tbh the flower motif stemmed largely from the fact that my Guild Wars 2 character that I got Dola's name from is in fact a literal plant person, and the constant link to death stems from that character being a necromancer >.> Which feels anti-climactic to admit but that's the honest answer. It's just lent itself well to combining into something thematically wonderful for Dolasach the human.

Dolasach the sylvari, the original and namesake >.< The entire person + the clothes and weapon are all plant matter. I have like, 8 other plant people who look something like this

It's honestly so interesting that your thought process is like that :0 You're already so thorough in your analyses, and the added layer that seeing someone from the perspective of someone who would be there, able to observe the character from a first person perspective definitely adds even more to it. It's so nuts to me that you can come to conclusions and hypotheses like that on your own (with the help of your mc) because most of my thoughts on other characters come from reading others' takes, comparing them to canon, then deciding for myself if I agree or not then making adjustments so that I like what I understand.

fdhkgjsdhfjgksdhg the yokai event really let me down, both paths were so... Meh? And truly, I hate that they did Satan so dirty. This may be one of the rare times that everyone's outfits are good, but I personally still greatly dislike what they did with him, even more so after looking into the actual lore of the nekomata. All the more I hate that they incorporated so many cutely elements to his outfit.

Like what's with the paw prints? What's with the bows, what's with the bells? There is something very unimpressive about his silhouette as well in comparison to his brothers. Each one felt like proper respects were given to the yokai that they were based on, and while I understand that the nekomata is commonly made cute, it would've been nice if they leaned in to the ferocity and ferality of it when it came to designing Satan's outfit. A malicious spirit that's also said to grow more in power as a nekomata the more cruelly it was treated in its life as a normal cat... It feeds and kills for fun, and can manipulate the dead.

Then we get Satan's outfit, and a card where he's doing that stupid nyaa post again :/ The unlocked card are is a bit better, but it doesn't remove the fact that I don't like his outfit as a whole lol And I'm also so fucking bitter about the card. I wouldn't have even known that their costumes were supposed to have special abilities if I hadn't seen others post about it... Literally every other card from the Nightmare and Quiz had its respective character mention their costume's powers. Don't get any mention from Satan, and Im still bitter about the lame date and weaker than mediocre romance. So glad the card came home in not that many pulls, I'd be even more upset if I used more than I did and got THAT as the Devilgram...

Anyway anyway the rant got away from me fjdgkdfjhgdfgh And the rest of this answer feels weirdly incohesive but idk how to fix it? Sorry for taking so long to answer this one dgkjdfjh I genuinely forgot that I hadn't answered it but just noticed that it felt like I answered less asks than I knew I had from you...

#chat & colloquy #🐳 nonnie!! #dolasach #tbh i think im rambly because im rendered partially speechless by this whole thing #like??? it never ceases to astonish me that people pay attention and give a shit about dolasach #to the point of drawing her and thinking about her and making playlists??? #i feel like even if i tried i wouldnt have ever landed on these ideas about dola and im the one who made her #like???? shaking you nonnie #im seriously so curious about your mc tho like #i think the fact that your mc gives more of a shit about others gives her an edge that dola doesnt have because she tends to just mind her #own business until something piques her interest in the form of sparking curiosity or threatening her #anyway anyway dfkfdjgh ill stop talking now

[stardust--and--magic]

I'm overwhelmed y'all!

My Reylo piece got like 100+ notes, like WHHHHAAAT???? I'm utterly flabbergasted and I'm not even sure if I'm reacting to this correctly.

That may not seem like much at all considering there are pages on here with much larger followings and thousands of notes on their posts. The whole reason I dug up this forgotten tumblr blog of mine was to find help me find my passion for creating again and have a place to share it. The views, likes, reblogs, whatever - those things never mattered even when I posted regularly on other sites years ago. But I didn't expect the simple act of people just liking silly things that I've drawn or written to affect me so much the last few weeks. I've pretty much have spent it trying not to cry and I have the ugliest cry face in the world too.

For background, I used to draw and post my artwork quite regularly years ago, mostly on deviantArt (though I can't even access that page anymore cause I'm dumb, changed the password a year and a half ago, and now can't remember it - I'vetried recovering it 3 times but dA customer service hella sucks). I also wrote fanfiction on FF . Net but that was on and off.

Around 2011/2012 though, everything started to go downhill. As my life, in general, started falling apart at the seams, it effectively killed any drive I had to be creative, whether it was through art or writing. I essentially went into survival mode for a number of years and the effect it had on my art was devastating.

It couldn't be helped, and with time and a lot of effort, I'm in a better place now, but I can clearly remember the deep depression I fell into and everything it affected. I remember trying and one day, I just couldn't bring myself to draw anymore. I couldn't think of ideas and when I did, I would either stare at a blank piece of paper for hours, or work on it for 5 minutes before crumpling it and throwing it away. I essentially lost a sizable chunk of myself and I've tried for years to recover it.

In 2015, I tried posting again but shortly after, I fell back into the dark hole I'd been hiding in. It didn't make me happy and I couldn't do it anymore. So I stopped. Again. And it hurt like hell.

I was so distraught and disappointed in myself that I would go on and convince myself that I had other things more important to do than dabbling in my childish dream to draw and write. That I wasn't that person anymore.

Every once in a while, a friend would ask me to draw something cute, or my son would ask for a superhero, and I'd oblige. Most of these, however, were just doodles on napkins or scrap pieces of paper meant to be forgotten. It didn't feel like me.

Fast-forward to a few weeks ago, when I decided to just give this journey to find myself one more shot cause the internet is a deep pit that consumes my soul (thank you, Lokane fandom!). With a lot of convincing from my SO (bless the UNIVERSE for that man and his neverending patience), I started drawing and writing, and I started posting. Then after a few notes (literally like the first 5-10), I found myself sitting in alone in my bathroom, about to cry with my brain going, "Holy shit! Someone actually liked this nonsense!"

Frankly, I'm not even sure I'm making much sense right now or if I'm sufficiently expressing why this has struck me so profoundly. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is:

All kind words, all the reblogs, and all the likes that I still don't feel like I deserve - just thank you! All you wonderful souls made this girl feel like she was valid again, both as an artist and as a person.

#personal AF #sorry i just had to let this out somehow #i probably sound stupid but this is how i feel #i only hope that this helps someone else struggling with their own art journey #i love you all

[carpisuns]

Sometimes I get discouraged as a creator. I read a fic that’s just so achingly beautiful that I think, “What’s the point of writing if I can’t write like this?” Or I see a stunning piece of art and I almost want to give up because I know I’ll never be that good.

The truth is, there will always be someone who’s better than me at something I want to be good at. And that’s okay. The things I do can still be valuable even if someone else does them better.

When I think about my favorite works and creators, I realize how different they all are. Maybe some of those creators worry that their work isn’t that good or get frustrated because they can’t create the way someone else creates. But I love them all in different ways for different reasons, and they are all wonderful.

It helps me to remember that my favorite creators also have favorite creators that they look up to and that even they have room for improvement and that even they have bad days or weeks or months when they flounder and don’t feel satisfied with what they create. Growth is not a linear process, and beauty is possible even in our ugliest periods of struggle.

There is no one writing or art style that is The Best™️, and talent/skill can manifest in different ways. Whether you try to mimic a style you admire or create something completely unique to you, your work will still have your fingerprints all over it, and they are good fingerprints, and they are yours and no one else’s, and your work will be valuable and beautiful because of them.

In the end, all that matters is that people enjoy what you created and, most importantly, that you as a creator found fulfillment in creating it. That’s the point of creating—to express yourself in a way only you can and to find meaning in that expression. Even if that meaning is just to unwind after a long day or enjoy some time thinking about your favorite characters or laugh at your own stupid joke.

I hope all you lovely creators know how much you are valued, even when you’re in a low. Putting something you made out there for the world to judge can be really scary, especially when you’re not feeling confident in the first place. But things don’t have to be perfect for people to love and enjoy them. And honestly, as an imperfect creator, I find it strangely encouraging when I spot flaws in something I admire. Because it reminds me that I’m not the only one who’s still growing. And if I can love a flawed piece of work that much, then other people can enjoy my flawed work too. We’re all works in progress, and we can create amazing things no matter where we are in our creative journey.

I guess what I’m really trying to say is ...

@ creators: you’re doing amazing, sweetie 💖💖 Be proud, and don’t give up.

#idk what to tag this lol #just something I’ve been thinking about #positivity #mine #not ML #long post

[starseed-twenty]

🌌Saturn in the Houses✨

Brief summary

Saturn is a planet, a generational planet, that rules structure, discipline, necessary limitations, responsibilities, lessons and karma. Some may describe it as malefic because of the rather 'negative' energy it gives off. Personally, I've grown to seen it as benefic because of the 'end-results' it aims to provide. Sure, it doesn't start off by being good to you and giving things to you nice and easy (like Jupiter does), however - it doesn't just give things bad and gloomy either. For one, it is trying to give you great lessons with the house it is in (by helping you to basically learn the right way and gain experience in the house) for you. And for two, while Jupiter gives an abundance, Saturn gives some restriction - helping you to be able to handle what goes on in the house its in. Because, as we know it, too much of a good thing can be bad. For example, Jupiter in 6th may mean a person finds it nice and easy to maintain work, planning, a schedule, time-management and maintaining a good body. Sweet, right? Well... this person can actually also overwork themselves sometimes, and be a little bit obsessed with their body too, and become critical of others because of their (the people's) work & planning, since they (the person) know how to maintains theirs. So... 😬 Jupiter isn't completely a good planet, and Saturn isn't completely a bad planet either. In a lowkey way, they're Yin & Yang. There's a bit of good in Saturn, in the same way there's a bit of bad in Jupiter too. Now... On to individual houses.

- This can also apply to transits -

🌌 1st House :

You may experience issues with the way you see yourself, your life and perhaps the way people perceive you. You feel like they have constantly either made fun of you or said inappropriate, harsh things, or they see you in a way you don't see yourself. Or even other times, you feel like you've done or said the wrong things, or live life in a bad way because it's not the 'normal' way people live, leading you to become critical with yourself. So you may be fighting some battles internally at times. On the other hand... The good news is that this does not last forever. As much as you feel like it does. Because as you grow, somehow you find yourself becoming more confident, more happier and feeling not the need to prove yourself to anyone and anything anymore. So, with time, Saturn teaches you how to be good to yourself and do good for yourself.

🌌 2nd House : 

You may experience a lot of financial issues (money, savings, material gain/possessions and assets), as well as issues of self-worth, values and resources. These could be in the form of you struggling to have a proper income or money seeming to be a scarce resource for you. You may also even find it hard to save or invest at first. For example, you try to save or invest, but the money has to go somewhere else or it turned out to be a scam. Additionally, you struggle internally as well. Your sense of self-worth or self-esteem fluctuates quite often, but most of the time it's lower than normal and this is because Saturn makes it hard to see/have value in not only capital gains, but yourself too. The lesson for you in this life is to learn how to comprehend value in tangible things as well as your self-worth the right way so as you do not take these for granted. So, the good news is that as time goes, you will be able to accumulate (a huge chunk 😉 of) these gains, and appreciate yourself more than you ever have.

🌌 3rd House : 

You may experience issues with communication and learning, or speaking and being listened to, or with technology/media. This means it can sometimes be a struggle for you to communicate efficiently/assertively at times, or there can be tension when you voice out your opinion. You may also struggle with having a bad rep when it comes to the media and technological things. People may come at you negatively a lot or they just do not understand you at times and think you're rather odd. Saturn in this house tries teach you to appreciate the art of proper communication and being educated (even though it can be through difficulty). So additionally, you can struggle with learning too, whether it's education (school) or work/training. It takes a long minute for you to get it. But the good news... you eventually do. And when you do it's close to perfect. Also, with time, people really understand your ways of communication and perhaps even love it.

🌌 4th House : 

You may experience issues with foundations (starting up anything), family, home/internal environment and ancestral roots. For example, you just happen to keep struggling when it comes to starting up your own little business or form of income (a blog, YT channel, mini job, etc.) and so there's always a delay or it doesn't turn out the way you thought it would. You may also have problems with your family or home environment more often than normal, something that they do that upsets or has upset you or something you do that upsets them and so it raises conflict between you quite often. But, the good news.... eventually, the issues will die down with effective communication and healing, and the bond will become even closer. Or, that foundation for that business/income will eventually be properly set up and exceed your expectations.

🌌 5th House : 

You may experience issues when it comes to your peers/friends or the people you vibe with (short-term dating), creative endeavours, children or maintaining hobbies. One or more of these is not something you find easy to connect with. For example, the people you get to know or start to vibe with may eventually start acting weird or the connection between you guys doesn't end up the way you thought it would. Additionally, your friends or peers are people who may not understand you at times... so getting along with people at first can be hard. As well as some creative endeavours, such as finding it within you to do artsy stuff or going bold with themes, colours, words, etc. The good news though... is that as time goes, you surpass the need to understand why this is and be hurt by it, but simply love your inner-self more, until  good people, friends and lovers start gravitating towards you. You also start to connect with your creative side, hobbies, and children more.

🌌 6th House : 

You may experience issues with time management and planning. You find yourself either being too early or too late for something, for example; an appointment, an event, or a project due. This (issue with time management) may also manifest into you struggling with completing tasks a lot of the time. But this may be more when you’re just growing up rather than when you’re older and have established the ability to take control of your time and complete tasks. You may also experience issues with your diet or body's health, so you may be someone who either eats too much or doesn't eat enough, or having some kind of body condition. But the good news... the problems do eventually fade away. You will find yourself loving your body and being content with your state. Plus, you eventually perfect the skill of  planning and time-management (with much discipline unfortunately).

🌌 7th House : 

You may experience issues with people around you, or partnerships you're involved in. For example, people seemingly going behind your back or treating you weird even though don't really do bad to them. People just suddenly find a way to be weird and take your kindness for an advantage, which then makes you have rocky relationships with them. As well as with relationships or partnerships, you can sort of struggle with the people you're in these with. They may hurt you or do something shady and you don't even understand why. But, on a brighter side... you do eventually find the right people and right someone who will do very good by you and it will end there. You'll never be hurt again. They will give the perfect love, respect and kindness you deserve. But only after you've learnt the lesson of not trusting too easy.

🌌 8th House : 

You may experience issues with either death, sex/sexuality, changes or transformations, or debt. Or maybe even all. This house is a rather sad one to have Saturn in unfortunately, because a lot of people I know who have this particular placement may feel or see life in a gloomy state, but they do try their best to have hope it gets better. But overall, the issues they encounter may feel like burdens a lot of the time. Such as, for example, their sexuality. They may be surrounded  by homophobic people, whereas their sexuality is one they are still trying to define properly because they can be stuck in being open about who they really are. Or, another example: people who have debt almost all their lives - or just something to owe (money, a job/task, an asset, etc.) because of the continuous struggles they go through. Good news though... is that this all ends eventually. They do find ways or fall on to paths that make it easier for them to live comfortably and not stress too much anymore. And when they do, they become way more optimistic about life.

🌌 9th House : 

You may experience issues with higher learning/knowledge, travelling or long journeys, foreign lands, or law & religion. This may be in ways where you don't connect with other, different cultures, religious endeavours or laws easily. You may have your own interpretations or understandings and they perhaps don't agree with these. Also, travelling far or going to 'exotic'/foreign places does become weird for you, or you don't get to do it as much as you've wanted to. And (this one may be random), you could experience issues with getting taught or finding the right teachers. You're keen on learning, but getting the right understandings doesn't happen the way you thought it would. However, in due time, you do become set on getting the right knowledge and perfect understanding on things (including cultures, religions, laws, etc.) and find yourself in tune with long journeys and exotic places.

🌌 10th House : 

You may experience issues with your public image/status, career, how you work, what we are working/have worked towards and long-term goals. So, you see how the 4th house (opposite house) is about foundations, developments, and the home environment... The 10th house is more or less the opposite of that; the external/public environment and successes through developments & foundations. Having Saturn in this house can then mean you struggle seeing your successes and end-results of your foundations come to life the way you want to (at first), as well as your public image or reputation/status can fluctuate or you (or other people) tend to see it in a bad light. This is not the case for long though. As time goes, your 'tarnished' reputation starts to heal and people then see and admire your work and success. Greatly so, that you become almost iconic. You also eventually fall in love with your image too.

🌌 11th House : 

You may experience issues with the community or large masses, organizations, social groups, social media/technology, global connections and perhaps even successes in your hopes & dreams. So for quite a while, people as a collective may be quite disconnected with you and either radiate negative energy towards you or no energy at all, to which you don't understand because you don't really do anything too wrong and would like positivity. This can also be a time, if it's a transit, that a good reputation is something you have to work hard towards because people have seen you the wrong way for some or other reason.  At the same time, it can be a tad bit difficult for you shine through social settings, social groups, social media and technology the way you want to. Your hopes and wishes can be dimmed, though you keep attempting to let them shine. At the end of it though (as Saturn eventually provides structure), you start to align with these social endeavours, and your hopes & wishes do start to radiate greatly to the point of you looking pretty lucky.

🌌 12th House : 

You may experience issues with connections to the subconscious, spiritual gifts/dreams, fears, healing, confinement, as well as perhaps abandonment/imprisonment/isolation issues. Saturn in the 12th house usually breeds people who are pretty shy, isolated or have a bit of trust issues. They can also be people who grow up heavily be in tune with routines or organized things, structure and wanting to have (or focused on) clear understandings of things. If you have Saturn in this house, it can become really hard for you to understand the concept of hidden things, karma, intuition-based ideologies at first (though you do constantly try and makes sense of these). You can also be suffering from a bit of closure/healing, but it's also something you don't know how to make sense of. So you may be hurting a lot inside, but will try to avoid it or make it seem as though it's not deep. But what Saturn does at the end of it all is allow you to see light in healing, connecting with higher entities and spiritual guides and gaining closure for your mental and emotional health. So you suddenly find it easy to tap in to the subconscious and become almost a master at understanding spiritual endeavours.

Side-note : The weird thing (and perhaps even sad thing) I've noticed about Saturn though, is that it possesses some sort of energy that doesn't allow you to give up on the issues it provides. So, while you may feel like you struggle with these issues... you can't give in to not caring about them or brushing them under the carpet. They appear within a minute and you're lowkey addicted to trying to fix these issues. For example, a person with a Saturn in 12th house : They probably struggle with dreams, understanding things beyond reality, spirituality, healing and all things subconscious. However, they simply find themselves always wondering about this whole 'spirituality' thing and trying their best to understand it. So while they may avoid it because of the huge struggle that comes with it, they revert back to trying to dream a bit more, heal, be in touch with spirituality, etc. Until eventually, they get it so right that they're lowkey experts.

💖💖💖

#astrology #zodiac signs #saturn #saturn in houses #saturn in astrology #saturn in 1st #saturn in 1st house #saturn in 2nd #saturn in 2nd house #saturn in 3rd #saturn in 3rd house #saturn in 4th #saturn in 4th house #saturn in 5th #saturn in 5th house #saturn in 6th #saturn in 6th house #saturn in 7th #saturn in 7th house #saturn in 8th #saturn in 8th house #saturn in 9th #saturn in 9th house #saturn in 10th #saturn in 10th house #saturn in 11th #saturn in 11th house #saturn in 12th #saturn in 12th house #starseed-twenty

[sixteenthshen]

post-finale stuff

Possible spoilers. Beware

Last night, I happened to check the scriptwriter's Weibo and saw that she had liked this fan's post. It's the only non-work related Weibo post that she had liked, so of course, I went to read it. 

The fact that this is the only fan post she's given her approval to must mean that it is on point and she agrees with the characterisation. I thought it's pretty good, so I've gone ahead to translate it here. I own 0 rights to this. I just thought it's a good perspective that may help others like me who struggled with the ending. 

I think I've mostly made my peace with it now, and to sum it up:

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they are. 

A-Xu never once blamed Lao Wen for how things turned out because he understood that. And he’s clearly a better person than I am (lol).

Let me be clear about my stand - the real victim of how the drama unfolded in the last six episodes is WKX. When we feel our hearts ache for ZZS, it's because the show let down WKX (the character). If your heart is only hurting for WKX during episodes 33-34, you should try to ship WKX with someone else, ok? If you think the last six episodes were great and that WKX was very romantic (and only romantic), then I honestly don't know what to say. 

I ship wenzhou. That means I like both Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu. I want them to love each other, be good to each other and live happily ever after. And I want them not to be OOC. 

The rest behind the cut. Spoilers for the whole drama. 

------- 

First, the source. Here is a link to that Weibo post, by 爱吐槽的栗小姐. I will delete this if requested by the OP - because this is really in a grey area imo. But I think the intention of a public post is for it to be shared? (especially something like this, which argues a point) 

Secondly, the poster does try to be fair in her post, but as the problem here is WKX's ruined characterisation, ZZS's character is analysed primarily concerning this issue only. There's quite a bit left to ZZS's character and backstory that isn't relevant. I believe that's why the post doesn't elaborate on it, or so I hope.

-------

Ever since WKX faked his death, I received three to four waves of fellow sister fans' mournful wails: "Lao Wen actually faked his death; does he have a heart?" "They were supposed to be of the same heart and treat each other with honesty. How did they regress?" "What happened to their innate soulmate-ness?" "Why does A-Xu always say to face things together, yet Lao Wen always keeps his plans from him?" "A-Xu loves Lao Wen, yet Lao Wen only loves himself"…….

Wait. What have you guys misunderstood about the meaning of soulmates? 

Soulmates are about values, but a person's behaviour… that's methodology FFS! 

(Do they no longer teach this in political affairs class in high school anymore?) 

Wenzhou, these soulmates, are incomparably compatible and mesh well in terms of values. According to the scriptwriter, the entire jianghu wants and tries to get the pieces of Glazed Armour, save the two of them. Not only do they not care for the peerless martial arts, immense power, nor the massive wealth that the Glazed Armour represents, they don't even care for the power they hold in their hands –Ghost Valley and the Window of Heaven. Both of them willing to give it up without a second thought. 

Before they met each other, they were so tired of (ZZS) and so angry at (WKX) this earthly world that they didn't even want to live on anymore. 

After they met each other, they gradually began to feel the warmth in this world again. How nice it would be if they could live in seclusion, hand in hand and just bask in the sun. 

In this world, where everyone else is fighting for power or wealth, they are true soulmates. To intelligent people like them, whether or not they're honest about their identities or secrets is merely a matter of formality. They had already determined their attraction to the other's soul early on and have never doubted it. 

There may be some here who would criticise loudly at this point, "Then can't you be more considerate for your soulmate (the actual phrased used is "spiritual companion")? A-Xu has said many times, let's face everything together, I'll bet that you will be honest with me. If you really love him, then why can't you care for his feelings?" 

----- You guys, you've never been married. 

If two souls meeting can naturally resolve all behavioural conflicts and disagreements, then the theory of "breaking in" * would not exist. 

Let us take a look at what kind of a person WKX and ZZS each are.

Wen Kexing, he's a lone wolf. 

After his parents' death and his entering the Ghost Valley, his smooth sailing life suddenly fell off a cliff. Ever since then, the only person he could rely on was himself. That deep-seated hatred is carved into his bones, yet he can't speak of it to anyone else. He isn't the same type of person as the rest of the ghosts in the Ghost Valley; he isn't the same type of person as A-Xiang, who he raised. If we talk about the world and everyone who lives in it, he doesn't have any fetters or feels any (positive) emotions. 

His supposed craziness is a form of indifference. He's indifferent to others' lives, nor his own, because he just doesn't care. (T/N: I think he does care for his own life, but only for revenge, after that, he's indifferent. Indifferent isn't suicidal. I don't know why some fans seem to be confusing the two. Although he didn't plan to, if he somehow manages to stay alive after getting his revenge, WKX will continue to live on, even if it's only to keep A-Xiang happy because he is indifferent.)

Growing up like this, being solitary became his style. He's used to doing everything alone, used to making his own decisions, used to digesting all his emotions himself. 

Every time he argues with A-Xu, he digests his emotions himself. The next day, he faces A-Xu with a smile again. 

This is how he loves, to take it upon himself to face danger, difficulty and pain alone. It's how he had supported A-Xiang all these years in the Ghost Valley and what he's used to. 

While Zhou Zishu, he's a lead horse (of a herd). ** 

Since a very young age, he's taught to take responsibility. He's used to bearing everything on his shoulders, be it the responsibility of his family or the responsibility for the Four Seasons Manor, even the responsibility for saving commoners from disasters. 

Unlike the lone wolf, the lead horse is ultimately a social animal. 

Regardless of his identity as the Manor Lord of the Four Seasons Manor or the Leader of the Window of Heaven, he's always the one to lead the herd and rarely fights alone. So, A-Xu not only has leadership ability but more than that, he also knows how to be tolerant and accepting of the differences of his team members. You can see the various ways he managed to influence Lao Wen along the road; he's firm when he needs to be and soft the other times. It's absolutely textbook in managing your lover workplace management. 

Zhou Zishu believes in communication whenever there's a problem, that they should be open and honest. So, teamwork is what he's used to. 

Does it mean that when a horse and lone wolf fall in love, that there won't be a breaking in period? 

Obviously not. 

I guess this is where some may say again, "isn't this part of a character's arc/development? The two of them quarrel time and time again. Did WKX not grow at all from it?" 

Of course, after meeting each other, they both grew and saved each other.

When he first left Window of Heaven, A-Xu was lonely with regret. Unlike the lone wolf who's used to doing everything alone, a lead horse without the last of his herd has no way to bear the bone-deep loneliness and merciless self-recrimination.

ZZS wandered around this world aimlessly until Lao Wen started pestering him, until he picked up Zhang Chengling, right up until he felt he hadn't singlehandedly destroyed the Four Seasons Manor. This lead horse finally regained a goal in life. He gained a partner and a lover. Lao Wen sticks to him, Chengling relies on him, and the abandoned Four Seasons Manor became like-new in his hands. He finally reconciles with himself. 

When he first came out of the valley, Lao Wen carried a rage strong enough to burn the world down. But when he met A-Xu, he also met the beauty of the world. 

When the Four Sages of Anji died, WKX understood how he caused innocent suffering. When Gao Chong walked to his death knowingly, he understood that although some may desire power, they could still be righteous and upstanding people. When he learned of everything Long Que sacrificed to protect his family***, he finally relaxed his guard. 

There were so many types of good people and things that he saw along this journey that he hadn't seen in the Ghost Valley. When A-Xu told him he was a good person as they basked in the sun, he genuinely wanted to return to the human (vs ghost) realm and be a good man. 

Along their journey, A-Xu made up for the morals and values that WKX lost in the Ghost Valley and showed him a new world outlook. He appeased Lao Wen's anger, tempered his extremism. The process wasn't easy, but not that difficult either, because, in the end, Lao Wen is kind at heart. 

But in the end, being a lone wolf is how he survived and succeeded in a place like the Ghost Valley. When A-Xu was so heavily injured and needed a lot of rest (for Wu Xi) to save his life, Lao Wen suddenly recalled his enemies and how such an excellent opportunity to take revenge just fell into his lap. Everything was in place, and all he needed to do was hide it from A-Xu; he could leave for a short while and have it settled quickly. Upon returning, he could then live happily ever after with his wife. To a crazy lone wolf, why would he not take a gamble? 

What he couldn't predict was the news would've been leaked (to A-Xu), and he didn't know that by doing so, he would've forever lost his love. 

Both of them were using their own methods to love the other person. Zhou Zishu is more forgiving and accepting because being forgiving is in his blood. While what WKX learned in his years in the Ghost Valley is -- love needs to be protected, like how he has A-Xiang, who he considers a sister, call himself master (to protect her). 

Only when faced with painful consequences can a person's deep-rooted habits and approach to things change. So I don't think faking his death ruined the characterisation of Wen Kexing, but I regret that the last two episodes did not have a scene to show us Lao Wen's heartbreak when he learns the truth. 

Until I know what it feels like to have lost you, I will only love you in my own way. 

T/N: 

*I can't think of the correct phrase for this as I don't read all that much about relationships >< please let me know if you know of it. Here, I'm referring to the process of wearing something new (like shoes) that will hurt at the start until it becomes soft and comfortable. 

** I did some side-reading, and omg, A-Xu is TOTALLY the lead mare. Although he's not the stallion and weak/dying for most of the show, he's the head of their little family, and he expects "to be obeyed", aka, I'm not going to learn how to cook. Call me for dinner. Kthxbye. 

From Rutgers' website: A herd of wild horses consists of one or two stallions, a group of mares, and their foals. The leader of the herd is usually an older mare (the "alpha mare"), even though one stallion owns the herd. She maintains her dominant role even though she may be physically weaker than the others. The older mare has had more experiences, more close encounters, and survived more threats than any other horse in the herd. The requirement of the lead horse is not strength or size; if this were so, then humans could never dominate a horse. Dominance is established not only through aggression but also through attitudes that let the other horses know she expects to be obeyed.

***I think this is important here because WKX wasn't crying for his loss. I think a big part of him was realising not everyone in the world was callous and turned their backs on his parents, that he could've gone his whole life without ever discovering what sacrifices some people have made. Good people suffer quietly and in silence. It's a big moment to realise he was wrong about many things that he had let hatred blind himself to the world. Because although he was sad about the Four Sages and somewhat shocked by Gao Chong's death, he hadn't truly faced up to his actions until now. 

(screenshot of the scriptwriter liking the above post) 

------

To add: 

I'm not sure how many of you read my "opinion" posts, but I've been struggling to find a way to accept the last six episodes of Word of Honor.  I first tried looking at open forum postings, comments, and Tumblr posts. None of it worked because it was just arguing and emotions and no one made points good enough for me to accept things. 

So I gave up and went back to reading Chinese sites. I found many posts discussing the plot. Some I liked, some I didn't, but none satisfied my need for a reasonable explanation. I felt they had biases (both ways), or else it lacked logic. After a time, I realised that I should be looking for WKX-stans (or pro-WKX fans) because they would be more motivated to explain his side, but also because well-written posts by wenzhou-fans & ZZS-stans made me super sad.

I'm sorry, but those who keep trying to explain why the ending was good completely missed that episodes 32-34 are the real problem to those who don't like it and only focused on 36. I can understand if people don't think those episodes are a problem, but no one could provide an articulate and sensible reason. There are just too few well-reasoned plot-focused posts in English (sorry). I've seen too many examples of WKX-fans arguing with people who are upset about the ending, backed by nothing more than "look how much WKX suffers, woe is him. And how romantic is this????" *dies* 

Lastly, if you spot anything inaccurate, let me know & I will correct it.

#word of honor #word of honor meta #wenzhou #opinion #i think this counts as meta #if you think the drama did WKX justice #and that he can do no wrong #in the last 6 episodes #.... #...... #srsly #you can't claim to ship wenzhou #& think the last 6 eps are perfect

[bourbon-ontherocks]

time to shine ‘thursday’ Friday

This tag game was created in hopes of reaching at least a few people and creating more awareness for the creator-side of tumblr. Time to Shine Thursday is inspired by these posts and meant to be for all artists alike: writers, editors, poets, GIF makers, cartoonists etc. This is me giving you all an excuse to show off!

Only rule: Be as thirsty for attention as you want to be! Link your old fics/art pieces or anything that didn’t get enough attention, or link a work you loved to create or share a draft from your newest WIP. Or do all of these. Be greedy. Show your art. Crave attention. Be proud. And don’t forget to give your friends an excuse to show off theirs!

Additional note: Please consider dropping one of your favourite hidden gems by another author along with your own work so others can enjoy it as well and so that it doesn’t stay buried any longer!

I was tagged eons ago by @misshazelevers20 @juuuunaaaaoooo and @whiskeyjack (thanks lovelies! 😘😘😘)

I am proud of:

My two favourite fics It Hurts When I See You Struggle and I hear her scream (and I feel nothing). I love them so much, to me these are the fics where my writing is at its finest, and I really managed to make these fics look exactly like what I had in mind in terms of plot, atmosphere, emotional journey, so I’m very proud of having hit my own target in the middle with them. In that regard, it makes me particularly happy that the first one is my most bookmarked fic of all.

I am beyond honoured that the talented writers and wonderful human beings that are @whiskeyjack and @septiembrre trusted me into betaing their respective fics. I love these stories so much and the fact that I, a non-native English speaker, could be of any help in their writing process makes me the proudest. Also betaing someone else’s work is an amazing experience that teaches you a lot and everybody should try it. Go read these amazing stories asap everyone, and I’m looking forward to the next chapters!

I am very proud of my Cold Showers Lead To Crack crackfics series because being funny is pretty often harder than being angsty, and also the writing process of these fics involved much cackling to myself. In particular, I am super proud of the Bourbon glass POV Pour Me A Drink, And I'll Tell You Some Lies and the Dean x Reader self-insert But the tigers come at night with their voices soft as thunder because both were kinda out of my comfort zone and lead me to explore new things and have a lot of fun. Also I gifted both of these to @sothischickshe  and I am beyond psyched and proud that they seemed to make her laugh at least a little ❤️

My Cyborg!Rio edit because I spent an unreasonable amount of time on it and I find it so funny

I want to shoutout:

@sothischickshe​‘s upon your ignorance (and the gray despair) of your ugly life (Dean x Rio bodyswap, it’s amazing, hilarious, and totally underrated) and the underrated gem that is Maybe it’s something in the water, I re-read it recently and it got me cackling so hard

@ama-ssiempre​‘s art, which is my favourite, in particular the BRIO HUG and the kiss for the Mystery box prise, but also everything she draws (check it here) ❤️

This little gem I recently discovered: PTA Vibes by greyish, it’s clearly not underrated since it has 1k+ kudos but it’s been posted quite a while ago so I thought I’d dust it out a bit. Rio gets in Beth’s PTA (mostly) to mess with her. That’s it, that’s the plot, and it’s absolutely hilarious.

@sdktrs12​‘s GG edits. There's just something so crispy and pretty and fun/ny about them, and sometimes they hit me where it hurts too, and the colouring & fonts are always gorgeous, and I love especially the Fuck It series (Beth and Rio’s versions), and the Bitch!edit and the Man...!edit and so many others! 💖💖

@misshazelevers20​‘s hilarious @textsfrompaperporcupine​ and The Onion headlines GG edits. These are always so fun and on-point!!

@icanthearyoufromhereplease​‘s moodboards!!! Especially the A Rational Choice one, but reallly, all of them!!

I tag: I don’t know, I assume everyone’s already done it, but in case you haven’t/want to do it again, I tag @missmaxime​ @sdktrs12​ @septiembrre​ @ama-ssiempre​ @mamey2422​ @daydreamstew​ @sothischickshe​ and YOU if you read this

#time to shine thursday #about me #writing #Miscellaneous #tagging games

[longlivefeedback]

I spent three months working on my fic. The art is also amazing. And just 7 kudos. Shortly after, a fic appeared, that was literally a copy of MY fic and badly written, and just 1000 words, and this fic have more kudos now. I really want to cry

I’m sorry Anon. This may sound like impossible advice and is really just random words from a stranger on the internet that doesn’t know anything about you, but the best thing I would encourage you to do is to stop comparing your worth to others.

We live in a world of numbers where “value” is measured by views, likes, clicks, and any other metric companies can think up and put on a UI. In a world of Instagram influencers, Big Name Fans, and the Twitter-famous, we’re being told that bigger is better, more likes means more love, and the more interactions you have, the more important you are.

Do not do this with your writing. I get it. The AO3 stats are Right There. Front and center. Unignorable. Writing is lonely. It feels like screaming into the void, and after all that work, surely someone will give you the validation you deserve, right? After all, that other writer and their work got it. So why not me?

It’s not wrong to want that, Anon. It’s not wrong to love and share and want that love reciprocated. I would argue that it is very very human, and a very beautiful thing that you are reaching out, labouring over something you love, putting a bit (a lot) of yourself out there, hoping for some of that love back.

But as long as you’re always looking over your shoulder, always wondering why them and not you, why do they have more more more, why why why...you’re never going to be happy. And if this is the situation you find yourself in with your writing, I’m afraid that it will destroy your love of writing.

I’ve seen it happen. Writers turning bitter. They get angry. They get disappointed. They start asking questions. “Why can’t readers comment?” “Why don’t readers say anything?” “How do I get more kudos/comments/hits?” And sometimes they stop writing. They stop doing the thing they love. They stop creating. Why write and post when no one is going to appreciate it?

There’s really only one person whose answer matters: You.

When it comes down to it, You, the author, are the only person that should matter. How do you feel about your writing? Did you tell the story you wanted to tell? What did you learn?

No one is going to love your story more than you. No one knows your story better than you. No one knows the bits that made it in, and the bits that didn’t. No one really knows which parts you struggled with, which one caused you the most tears, which ones you’re the most proud of because it was so hard for you to write.

Every time I see a fic I’m in awe. Because it’s a labor of love. It’s something someone tried, something someone wanted to do, regardless of the writer’s skill, experience, or English proficiency. It’s something someone created, for fun or as a way to heal. It’s part of them and their own personal journey in this funny thing we call life. It’s something they decided to spend what precious time we all have in this world on and it’s what they’ll leave behind. It’s beautiful because it exists and You made it. And if you are the only one who sees and appreciates that. So be it. It’s your writing. It’s a bit of you. Will you really be happy if everyone else loves it except you?

So find your reason to write. Try not to let it be something that is dependent on things you cannot control and the numbers attached to it. Aren’t you a little tired of being constantly measured, compared, and criticized because what you did isn’t big enough or loved enough or good enough? Why can’t the pure act of writing just be enough?

If you’re still reading this and are thinking to yourself, “easier said than done” or “it’s all very well for me to say these things, but what can you actually do about this” then maybe here are some things you can try to distance yourself from the addicting pull of the numbers popularity game:

1. Take a step back - Try to be self-aware and realize what your expectations and goals are when you post a fic. I would refrain from an outcome that you cannot control. Number of hits/kudos/comments are things you cannot control. Who reads your fic and what they say are largely things you cannot control. What other writers post and what their readers say are things you cannot control. Realize that there’s always going to be a “bigger” and “better” fic by the numbers. There’s always a bigger fish. Don’t fall into the trap of measuring the worth of a fic, and by extension yourself, by numbers that you cannot control.

2. Find a friend - Someone whose feedback you cherish and who can laugh and cry with you and give you that feel good feeling we get when we share things, the communal creatures that we are. Share your love with them and have fun!

3. Participate in an exchange - Much easier to feel happy about a response to a fic when it’s specifically made and targeted to one single person. As long as that person likes it, mission accomplished! Also, exchanges usually have a community (fellow participants, mods, betas) for the event who can give you feedback as well. It’s a pretty good way to make some new fandom friends too!

4. Get feedback from the right people - If you are looking for feedback to improve on your writing, try to find someone whose opinion you respect and who you can build a relationship with. Constructive criticism is often very personal and takes a lot of trust between the giver and the recipient. It will take some time to build enough trust with a beta/friend/reader, so be patient with them, yourself, and the process. If you are able to build enough trust with someone you want feedback from, I find it helpful to be specific when you ask for feedback: “The pacing feels off here. What do you think?” “Can you help me show XYZ? I want it to feel like ABC.” “Does A seem to be too childish here?” “Is B acting out of character?” “Is there too much description on this page and did you lose interest?” Take their feedback at face value and try to keep an open mind. Communication is key to any relationship and it is no different with something like this.

5. Write, but do not post - Write your fic. Create. Put it down in words. But if you can’t stop yourself from constantly comparing yourself to others, don’t put yourself in that position. Just don’t post your fic. Let it sit in google docs, Word, or whatever word processor you used to bring your thought to life. Don’t gamble your happiness on things you can’t control. Find another reason to write.

Be honest with yourself about why you write. Try to stop comparing yourself and your fic to others. Don’t let something that should bring you joy be a source of sorrow.

#llf asks #long post #well this turned out long #hope this helps even a little bit anon

[cowandcalf]

If you could tell your younger writing self anything, what would it be?

Oh, wow, anon! That's such a great ask! Thank you so much for sending this question! I admit, my brain turned into a waterfall with how the thoughts came rushing in. In no time, I had created a huge list of things I would want to tell my younger self until I realized my younger writing self would be totally overwhelmed by this number of tips and well-meant pieces of advice. Maybe it still is with what I have listed below.

Okay, before I start, I like to give you a metaphor to let you develop a sense of the path that lies ahead of you. In martial art, you start as a student wearing a white belt. It's a clear message for everyone expressing you're a beginner. Your mind and your body, your reflexes, and your spirit are young, tender, and unfamiliar with everything. As a black belt, you've finished the first big part on the path to becoming a warrior. You know a lot more than a white belt. You have gained experience and inner growth. You train the same moves, for example, a forward roll. A white belt deals with a different challenge than a black belt, yet the move stays the same. What stays equal is their mind and the will to learn and to improve. The will to be a warrior.

Now, in writing, it's just the same. Every writer writes, it doesn't matter if it's a newbie or a seasoned writer. Their common goal is to write. Their mind is set on writing. The big difference is the level of experience that results in inner growth, a strong backbone, and the knowledge about how to get through hard times. A seasoned writer already has developed a strong writing muscle. They've crafted their skill. They've worked on the talent. Talent is something that gains shape the more you write. Experienced writers have gained knowledge of how to build a story. Experience is the key. The only way to gain experience is by writing. Writers shape and train their writing skills over a long period of time.

These would be my piece of advice:

If you feel the wish to write . . .write! Just start to find out how it makes you feel. Never let anyone tell you not to do it. Never let anyone tell you that you don't have enough talent to do it. No one knows until they have tried.

Everyone is always at some point a beginner. To be a beginner is nothing to be ashamed of. Be proud to be a beginner.

It takes time to gain experience. You can't rush this process. To gain experience you have to write, always.

Don't lose heart! Keep going!

The inspiration comes from within you. You can be inspired by others, by stories but the spark to write comes from yourself. If you don't find a way to get your story out no one will.

Everyone has been there, where you are at the moment, even the world's greatest authors.

There is always someone out there who will love your story. There is no rule about how to write something. Your story, your rules. And your story counts just as much as every other story.

You have your own, very unique writing style. No one will ever write the way you do. But it takes time to shape that style. It gets shaped with experience. To find your style you have to write. Be patient!

There's a place inside you where your ideas, your stories live. That's a place in your inner universe. You feel it. It's there otherwise you wouldn't come up with an idea, otherwise, there wouldn't be the wish to start writing. You and your idea share a tight bond. There's love and passion, feel it. Stay always true to your idea.

Don't write to please someone. Don't write to make readers happy. Write for your characters, for the love you have for your OTP, for the idea that you carry inside you. If you only write for acceptance and being loved it's going to be a hard journey.

Your stories are precious mind babies. And it's normal that it hurts if someone doesn't like it. Only share when you're ready.

You will fail. You will struggle. You will doubt yourself. That's all normal and a part of the journey. You will have mood drops. At one point, you might feel the wish to burn everything because you're so upset, angry, sad, unsatisfied with how it's going. It happens. It's normal. Keep going.

You can write always. A writer's block doesn't mean that you're not able to write anymore. Because you will still text someone, or write an email, or write your grocery list. But at one point, you might not feel your idea, the passion, and your characters, or the scene or the story in general. And you think you can't get one damn word out. But that's only because you put your focus on something else: you want to be good. You want it to sound passionate, intense, loaded with tension, secretive. You're afraid you won't get this scene, this moment right. You want to be as good as someone else . . . that adds a lot of pressure to how to get the words in the correct order. If this happens, find a song, find a movie, something that comforts you, something that pulls you back to where your idea is located. Get back into this inner space where you have felt your story. It is always there. And just keep writing.

You will find out what you want to write. Maybe you know it already, maybe not. You'll find out while you're at it. But you have to start to find out.

You will crave feedback. You want to know how you're doing. You will yearn for comments, compliments, love, kudos. That's healthy, that's normal. Have this wish to get some reaction. But also keep in mind that maybe you won't get any feedback, any comments at all, especially in the beginning. That's how it is. It's not easy but it happens.

Don't lose heart! Keep going!

Set an achievable goal. Ten minutes a day. 100 words a day. Write every day to get better, small goals will end in big results.

It's still a long list! But I hope, I could answer some of your questions. Those things I would want to tell my younger writing self. And in fact, I have posted this essay about my experience a few years back. Maybe you're interested:

Reflection of a newbie writer by cowandcalf

Thank you again so much for your interest and your ask, dear anon. It moved me to answer your ask because I still remember well how I started my writing process. I'm well aware of how intense it is to start a craft from scratch. I hope my tips helped. Mahalo. Have a great time.

#writing #ask #anon ask #how to start writing #my personal tips #thank you a lot anon #writing tips #how to write

[kitkatfat15]

IronStrange Cinderella Au Fanfic

Hey guys I did a thing. I saw a post about an IronStrange Cinderella Au and I saw some art so I decided to write it. I hope you guys like it, I worked really hard on it. It also has Peter and Harley in it.

“Stephen!” He heard his father yell. “Have you swept the kitchen yet?” Stephen nodded, then realized that his father couldn’t see him. “Yes father! I did.”

His father scoffed. “It looks filthy! Come do it again! No doubt it’s because of your broken hands…” His father had said the last part quietly, but Stephen still heard it loud and clear, still felt it pierce his heart.

Stephen used to be one of the most upcoming healers in all the land. But… That was before his accident. Stephen had been riding a horse through the woods to the village over when something in the woods spooked his horse.

 His horse had bucked him off, throwing him into a bramble bush. In his panic, he had struggled to escape the bush, tearing his hands and damaging them. By the time someone found him, his hands would never again be the same.

They were covered in scars and constantly shook, making him incapable of doing healing or anything else worth while, like farming. He was stuck at home being a disappointment to his family while his brother worked the fields and his sister worked at the local tailor’s shop. 

Stephen grabbed the broom and went to the kitchen. It looked spotless. Well, except for one place where there was a pile of dirt next to a bucket. His father walked back in the room. “I forgot something.” He tells Stephen, before kicking the pile of dirt, sending it flying. 

Stephen winced but didn’t say anything, knowing it wouldn’t do anything. He sighed and started sweeping, his father leaving the room. 

It was a few hours later when his brother and sister got home. “Look at this Victor! An invitation to the ball. From the prince!” Victor grabbed the invite from his sister. “It has both our names on it.” Stephen looked up and Victor scoffed. “Not yours. Mine and Donna’s. It’s this weekend.” Donna danced away from the door and towards the dining room. “I can’t wait! Maybe the prince will choose me as his bride!”

Victor scoffed again. “Yeah right. I heard he doesn’t even like girls! He’s going to choose me! Not you!” Donna scowled at her brother and stomped off to her room. Victor turned to his brother. “Even if you were invited, I don’t think anyone would even want you to go.” With that he left, going to his room to change. 

***

The weekend had come fast. For the ball, Donna had bought herself an orange dress with a low back. It was modest, but not eye catching. Victor had bought a white suit with a red trim. It made him look like a prince, which Stephen thought the actual prince wouldn’t appreciate. 

Stephen watched his siblings and his father leave with an air of sadness. At least his father had given him the weekend off. Stephen thought with a sigh. Stephen was walking back towards his house when he spotted something shimmering in the dirt. 

When he got closer, he realized that it was a wand of some sort. He bent down in the dirt and picked it up. There was a shimmering in the air in front of him, and Stephen heard two voices arguing. 

“I can’t believe you lost your wand Parker!” A young male voice said. Another boy huffed. “It’s not my fault! I think it’s over here.” The shimmering grew strong and two boys appeared. Both boys were wearing baby blue robes and had wings coming out of their backs. They both had dark brown hair and seemed to be teenagers. 

“Who are you guys?” Stephen asked. The two boys turned towards him. “My wand!” The boy Stephen thought was called Parker cried. Stephen held it out for him and the other boy grabbed it.

Parker pouted at him. The other boy turned to him. “I’m Harley. This is Peter. Have you seen a man called Stephen Strange?” He asked. Stephen nodded at them. “I’m Stephen Strange.” Peter broke out into a smile. “Perfect! We’re your fairy godfathers!” Stephen raised an eyebrow. 

“What?” Peter cried. “We’re here to get you ready for the ball.” Peter told him. Stephen sighed. “I wasn’t invited to the prince’s ball. Even if I was, my brother was right, no one would want me to go.” Harley huffed. “Do you know how many people we’ve gotten into a ball uninvited?” He asked.

“But Harley, we’ve never done that-” Harley turns and scowls at Peter. Peter just blinks. Harley turned back to Stephen, a dangerous look in his eyes. “I’m not failing our first assignment because you want to stay here and feel sorry for yourself! Now are you going to corporate or am I going to have to force you?” Peter looks scandalized. “Harley!” Stephen shrugged. 

“I guess I can go. At least I can help you boys.” Both teens smiled at him. “Let’s get you ready for the ball!” Peter says, grabbing his wand from Harley and dragging Stephen into the house. 

Harley grabbed a few things from different rooms as they headed towards the sitting area, which had a large mirror in it. “You can work on his clothes and I’ll work on getting him a ride.” Harley tells Peter before going back outside. 

“Let’s try to find you an outfit! Bippity boppity boop!” He says waving his wand at Stephen. Stephen felt his clothes transform into a pastel pink suit with a baby blue trim. Peter shook his head. “This doesn’t match your eyes at all!” He tells Stephen. “Bippity boppity boop!” He says again. 

This time Stephen feels his clothes shift again and now he is wearing tacky multi color pants and a flower printed shirt. Both of them grimace. “Nope.” Peter says and waves his wand. “Bippity boppity boop!” Stephen feels his clothes turn into a beautiful flowing blue gown. Peter sighed again. 

“I’m sorry. I always seem to get dresses.” He tells the man. Stephen smiles. “Peter, I think this is perfect!” He tells him. Peter perks up. “Really? No one seems to like my dresses.” Someone made an offended noise from behind them. Harley was leaning against the door frame. “I always like your dresses!” He tells Peter. “Well you don’t count.” Peter tells Harley. “Why not?”

“Because I said so!” Peter says loudly. Stephen decides to interject, not wanting an argument to start. “I still need shoes.” He tells them. “Shoes? I can do shoes.” Harley says. “What kind of shoes do you want? Boots, sandals-” 

“I want stilettos.” He interjects. Harley looks at him before shrugging. He takes two small stones out of his pocket and puts them on the ground. “Abra kadabra!” He waves his wand. Nothing happens. “Wrong words.” Peter tells him. Harley, being mature, sticks his tongue out. 

“Bippity boppity boop!” He waves his wand and the smooth stones turn into baby blue stilettos. Stephen grabs them and puts them on his feet. “Do you know how to walk in those?” Peter asks. Stephen scoffs. “Of course I do. Let’s go see my ride, shall we?” Both boys nod and they all head outside.

In front of the small house there was an elegant carriage with a horse and a horseman. However, looking closer, Stephen could tell that the horse’s fur was more like scales and the horseman’s eyes seemed too large for his head. Stephen turned to Harley. “Is that horse a snake? And is that horseman a frog?” He asked. Harley shrugged. “I worked with what I had.” He tells him. 

Peter snaps his fingers. “Before we forget! You have to be back by 12 o’clock. That is when the spells will unravel. Your shoes will turn into stones, your dress will turn back into your normal clothes, and your carriage will turn back into a potato.”

“You made my carriage out of a potato?” He asked incredulously. In response Harley shoulders him into the carriage and nods towards the horseman. “Have a nice night!” Peter calls as Stephen begins his trip to the palace. 

***

The journey to the palace was quite long, but very worth it. When Stephen layed eyes on Stark palace, he could not hold back a gasp. 

The palace had tall towers and large walls. Banners with the Stark emblem were flying high on flag posts. Stephen could hear the sound of horses through the left side of the wall. 

As they drew closer to the palace walls, the carriage slowed to a stop. There was a knock on the door and Stephen stuck his head out of the window. 

“Business?” A large guard asked him. “I’m here for the prince’s ball.” Stephen says. The guard nodded and waved to someone to open the gates. “You’re good to go sir.” The guard tells him, and the carriage starts to move again. 

As they come to the entrance of the palace, the carriage slows to a stop. Stephen opens the door and carefully steps out. He only stumbles for a second before finding his balance on the high heeled shoes. He picks up the bottom of his dress so it’s not dragging, and walks up to the large doors in the front. 

“Are you here for the Prince’s ball?” The one of the guards by the door asked him. Stephen nodded. The guard nodded and opened the door. “If you’re nobility go to the left and someone will announce you, if you're not, just go straight in.” Stephen nods and goes straight towards the open door and into the ballroom.

Stephen looked around in breathless awe. The ball room is huge- big enough to fit multiple medium sized houses and still have room for more. 

He scanned the room, looking for familiar faces. He spotted one or two people from his own village, but most were faces he didn’t recognize, probably from other villages in the kingdom. A waiter walked up to him, holding a tray of drinks. “Would you like one, sir?” He asked. Stephen was about to say yes, until he looked down and caught sight of his shaky hands. He shook his head. “No thank you.” He says and the waiter turns and walks away.

Stephen had been wandering the dance floor when he caught sight of his siblings staring enviously at a group of people. He decided to move closer and see what they were talking about. 

“I should be the one over there with him.” He hears Donna say. Victor scoffs. “As if. No, I should be the one over there.” Upon closer look Stephen could see a man in a well fitting red suit with gold trim in the middle of the people. Everyone in the group seemed to be focusing on him. It was the prince, Stephen realized. 

Now that Stephen had seen the prince, he couldn’t seem to look anywhere else. Even from a distance, Stephen could see that he was extremely handsome. He had honey brown eyes and a smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts. His red suit was perfectly tailored, with gold stitching around the waist and on the ends of the sleeves and coat.  

Stephen was wrong when he thought Victor looked like a prince. Victor looked like a beggar next to the star that was Anthony Edward Stark. Their eyes met across the room. Anthony smiled at him from across the room and Stephen felt his heart skip a beat. He blushed and turned away, heading to one of the waiters. 

The waiter handed him a glass and Stephen started sipping at it, willing his face to cool down and his hands to not shake. When the glass was empty, Stephen handed it to a waiter and was about to start walking again, when someone came up behind him.

“Hey.” Stephen jumped and spun around, both things a hard feat in high heels. It was Prince Anthony. “H-Hello Prince Anthony.” The prince waved his hand in the air. “Call me Tony, Anthony sounds too stuck up.” Stephen smiled. “I thought Anthony was a noble name.” Prince Tony snorted. “Oh I like you. You’ve got spunk. So, what’s the name, my fine fellow?

Stephen blushed. “My name is Stephen.” The prince smirked. “Well then Stephen,” The prince practically purred his name, making Stephen want to swoon, “Would you care to join me for a dance?” Stephen shrugged, suddenly embarrassed. “I-I don’t really know how to dance.” He tells him. “Why not? Surely everyone is lining up to dance with such a handsome man as you.” Stephen shrugged. “People don’t like my hands.” The prince looked quizzical and Stephen held up his trembling hands. 

The prince gently takes one of Stephen’s damaged hands in his calloused work hardened ones. “I think they’re beautiful.” He tells the man, before lifting the hand to his mouth and pressing a kiss to it. Stephen fights the urge to swoon. 

The prince looks at him playfully. “And besides, I can teach you how to dance.” He tells the man. Stephen agrees and Prince Tony leads him to the dance floor.   

The prince gently guides him through the moves and steps. They were now almost effortlessly going through the steps when the prince brings up a topic Stephen was perfectly happy to ignore. “You know, I’m sort of looking for someone to get married to.” Stephen snorts. “You don’t want to marry me.” He tells the prince. “And why not? You seem like the perfect suitor.” Stephen moves away from the prince. “I’m really not.” He tells him. “I think I should be able to decide for myself who I want to marry.” Tony says. Stephen sighs.

“And I agree with you, but still, you deserve someone better than me. Someone that’s still functional.” Prince Tony looks like he’s about to start arguing, when Stephen catches sight of the clock. Five till twelve. Stephen pales. “I have to go.” He tells the prince, before hurting to the door. “Wait!” He calls, but Stephen isn’t listening. He makes it to the door and runs outside, losing one of his shoes.

Stephen barely notices the lost shoe as he runs towards his carriage, the Prince still cashing him. Stephen trips over his long dress before throwing the door open and telling the horseman to drive. The carriage starts moving and the prince chases after it until it becomes too fast. He watches it go with a heart broken look on his face. Stephen wants to go back and tell him that it isn’t his fault, but he can’t bring himself to do it. The prince deserved better than him. 

A few minutes later the carriage slowed to a stop and started to shrink. Stephen quickly pushed open the door and threw himself out. When he turned to look back at the carriage, he saw it had turned into a potato with pins sticking out where the wheels were. He felt the clothes he was wearing shimmer and shift until; he was left wearing his dirty work clothes. He sighed. Good things never last for him.

He picked up the pin filled potato and the stone sticking to his foot and put them in his pocket, along with the frog he had seen hopping around. He looked around for the snake and found it was still a horse. He looked around and sighed. He was still too far from town to walk home, and he couldn't leave the snake here. 

He steeled his nerves and approached the horse. He quickly hopped on and started off on a slow trot. When he got home he was tired from the ride and his nerves were fried from jumping at everything that seemed to move in the forest. He carefully slid off the horse and it immediately became a snake that slithered out into the garden. Stephen sighed and let the frog go, before going inside the empty house. 

His family had opted to stay in an inn near the palace, so he was going to be alone tonight and tomorrow. He trudged up the hall to his room and didn’t bother putting on clean clothes, simply opting to fall down on the bed and go to sleep. 

***

Tony sat down at the table, head in his hands. It was all going so well. What did he do wrong? He felt his butler, Jarvis, put a hand on his back. “Sir, maybe you should try to find him. Even if he doesn’t want to get married, you can still get to know him better.” 

Tony sighed again. “But how can I find him again Jarvis? The shoe was fairy magic and turned back into a stone.” Jarvis seemed to ponder this for a moment. “Isn’t Thor’s brother Loki a fairy godfather?” 

Tony nodded and sat up. “So what?” He asked Jarvis. “Why don’t you ask Loki if he can replicate the spell for a time so we can see if it fits anyone.” Tony looked at Jarvis incredulously. “Why would I do that? Plenty of people have the same sized foot in this kingdom.” Jarvis nodded. “I suppose you’re right. Was there anything that made him stand out?” Tony pondered this for a moment. 

“His hands were injured and he seemed to like the healing arts.” Jarvis seemed to ponder for a moment. “Why don’t we check the records for someone who is- or used to be- a healer near his age.” Tony nods. It was the best bet at finding him. “His name was Stephen.” He tells Jarvis. 

Jarvis nods. “I’ll make sure to tell them that.” He says, and leaves the room. Tony sighed. He really hoped they were able to find the handsome man who had taken a place in his heart. 

Tony jumped as a heavy stack of paper landed on his desk. He looked up at Rhodey, who had dropped the paper. “What is this, Honeybear?” 

“It’s a list of men who match your description, all nobility.” Tony furrowed his brow. “I don’t think he’s nobility, Rhodey.” The prince says. Rhodey sighs. “Just look through the paper. One of them might be him. And Pepper worked hard on getting those.” Tony sighs and nods. “I’ll look through them.” He promises. 

Rhodey leaves and Tony looks at the large stack. He sighs. This is going to take forever. 

Tony was still going through the papers when he spotted a familiar name on one of the records. The record was for a woman named Christine Palmer. Tony didn’t know how it got in there, as he was looking for men, but he was glad it did. “Christine Palmer, age 23 blah blah blah trained under Healer Helen Cho alongside Stephen Strange.” Tony smiled. He had a name.  “Jarvis!”

  ***                                           

“I can’t believe the prince didn’t choose me! He spent the entire ball looking at some jerk in a dress.” Stephen smiles a little as he hears Donna rant. Even if he’s never going to see the prince again, it doesn’t take away the satisfaction of hearing Donna and Victor complain about being ignored for him. Not that they knew it was him, mind you, but still.

Stephen heard a knock at the door, and saw Donna get up to answer it. He heard a gasp when it opened and Donna started stuttering. “H-Hi! W-What are you doing here? My name’s Donna. What's yours? Wait, that's silly, I already know your name.” Donna trails off and a familiar voice starts to talk. 

“I’m uh… I’m looking for Stephen Strange.” Stephen can practically feel Donna’s scowl. “STEPHEN! GET OVER HERE!” Stephen sets down the rag he was using to clean the counter and walks over to the door where the prince was standing. Tony grinned at him. “Hey.” Stephen smiled slightly in response. “Hi.” 

“So, I know we might not know each other very well, but I just- I just have this feeling. Stephen Strange, will you marry me?” Stephen smiled softly and walked towards the prince. “Yes.” 

Tony smiles and leans forward, before hesitating. Stephen, however, doesn't hesitate and grabs the lapels of his jacket, pulling him into a kiss. 

It wasn’t an automatic happily ever after, as they still had to get to know each other better, and there was the matter of Stephen’s family, but it was close, and they were happy.

#ironstrange #ao3 author #au #crossposted on ao3 #prince tony stark #tony stark #Stephen Strange #happy ending #Stephen is afraid of horses #Stephen kinda hates his hands #fairytale #Fairytale Au