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#i really dont know if posting this was a good idea but umm yeah throwing this into the abyss
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The Bond
Author: Nat / @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69
Relationship: Neteyam x Fem!Na’vi!Reader
Summary: The bond is a beautiful thing, but it’s also the most painful thing you ever experienced.
Word Count: 14k
Warnings: Smut. Unprotected sex (wrap it up kids). Major character death. Angst. Pregnancy. ATWOW spoilers.
Comments: Hockey people look away, look away… After watching ATWOW I physically could not stop thinking about ‘what if you could feel the bond’ the way Parabatai feel each other in the Mortal Instruments and one thing led to another… This really was supposed to just be a short little imagine just to get the idea out of my head so I could work on my other projects but then I went hmmm no I think this needs some context for it to make sense and then I proceeded to write their entire fucking story cradle to grave and spent WAY too much time fact checking every single detail… There were a bunch of ways I could have expanded this, but I told myself no because no one needs a 50k+ Neteyam story... Also, this was not betad because I was not about to subject my poor beta to my current Avatar obsession.
Disclaimer: I thought Neteyam was 20 the whole movie so that’s how old he is in this, which is about the same age Jake and Neytiri were in the first film. And also, Neteyam wears a battle belt, which means he is seen as a man among the Omatikaya.
do not repost, do not claim as your own
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Tsaheylu.
The bond.
The beginning and the end of everything.
You feel their breath, you feel their heart, you feel their strength. It’s your way to connect with the world around you. At least, that’s what they always told you.
It’s a beautiful thing the bond. You can ride and fly and see and hear without uttering a single word. And most beautiful of all, you get to feel your mate, if you were lucky enough to find one.
With a mate, it wasn’t just their breaths and heart you felt like a horse or an ikran. It was deeper, much deeper. You felt them. Their thoughts, their memories, the every ounce of their being. The bond ties you to them—to their soul—for life, connects you to them in a way you’d never be connected to anyone or anything for as long as you lived.
It’s a beautiful thing the bond.
--
You could remember the first time Neteyam brought up the possibility of mating.
The golden son, the next Olo’eykton, the first-born son of Toruk Makto and Neytiri, Neteyam always had big shoes to fill, and it was always something he struggled with in silence. Who was he to talk to about the shade of greatness he grew up in? His father? His mother? His little brother? None of them understood, and none of them saw him.
But you did.
For as long as you could remember, Neteyam had been your closest friend, and you his—outside of his siblings at least. Kiri wasn’t much younger than him, but she had always been closer with Lo’ak than him, and Neteyam had always had more of a protective, fatherly role than a brotherly one with them and Tuk especially.
But you? You held no expectations for him. With you he was just Neteyam—or ’Teyam when he made you laugh hard enough you could barely breathe. You did everything with him. Training, hunting, claiming a banshee. Every step, you were there, and there was no one you felt closer to than him.
You didn’t have a big family like he did, it was only you. But you had him. He was your best friend, your everything, your—
Neteyam was going to be the next Olo’eykton and whoever he took as his mate would be the next Tsahìk, so you knew it wasn’t a decision he took lightly. If his father wasn’t Jake Sully, you were sure he’d have been betrothed to a woman his parents deemed worthy of being the next Olo’eykton’s mate. You didn’t know if Eywa had her eyes on you at the decision not to betroth him because, on one hand, there was a chance he’d take you, but on the other, you knew him choosing another of his own will would break you irreversibly.
Neteyam had shown some interest in the other girls in the village, especially the ones his mother mentioned to him, but you never saw him have more than a few conversations with them, mostly about hunting, which they didn’t seem to appreciate as much as you did.
You didn’t know that they were never the one he wanted. That for him, there had only ever been one.
It was the eve of his iknimaya ceremony, the final step of him becoming taronyu, of becoming a man, that he first brought up the possibility of mating with you. Once he became a man, he could choose a woman.
The thought alone made your chest tight. You couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning in your tent before you finally resigned yourself and slipped out. A night walk in the forest would, at the very least, keep your mind occupied.
You should have known Neteyam had the same idea.
Becoming a hunter, becoming a man, becoming one of the People, and earning his place in the clan all weighed heavily on him. He lived in the shadow of his father who had gone from Sky People to one of the People to Toruk Makto to Olo’eykton in a span of a few months. He was only the sixth Toruk Makto since the first songs and Neteyam knew that even if he were to be a great Olo’eykton, he’d never be his father, and it ate at him.
No matter how hard he tried, Neteyam couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned but his mind fought his every attempt at sleep. He knew he needed sleep for the day ahead, but he wasn’t granted peace and finally he resigned himself to a walk to clear his mind. At the very least, the night would pass more quickly and bring him into tomorrow.
Neither of you realized the other was close, not at first. Your mind was so consumed by the thought of him that you weren’t looking where you were going and didn’t put the care into your steps like you knew you should. The snap of the twig under your step was secondary to you, but it made Neteyam’s ears twitch.
He wasn’t alone.
A moment later, another twig snapped under your foot and Neteyam let it consume his attention. All he had on him was his knife, but it would have to do, he was the best hunter of his age after all.
He followed your uncaring, twig breaking steps silently with his knife down, unsure of what he was following. But as soon as he caught a flash of blue skin in the dark, he let himself relax a little. When he stepped a little closer to get a clearer view, he sheathed his knife as he let out a soft laugh. He’d know you anywhere.
The sound of his laugh made your ears twitch and you tensed. You’d know that sound anywhere. “Neteyam?” You breathed as you turned around and a moment later, he revealed himself with his hands up and a playful smile on his lips as he said your name back to you.
“It is late,” he told you as he stepped closer, his tail flicking behind him. “You should be asleep.”
“As should you,” you replied and returned his smile. “You have a big day tomorrow.”
“Ah,” he brushed you off with a short wave of his hand. “I’ll be fine,” he told you. “I do not have to hunt tomorrow, just become taronyu.”
Your smile slipped for half a moment before you pushed it back up. “I know,” you replied, hoping your tone didn’t betray you.
His ears straightened as he watched you and he hoped, oh Eywa he hoped, that he wasn’t misinterpreting your hesitation as he stepped closer to you. “Once I become taronyu, I may take a woman.”
You couldn’t hide the disappointment in your eyes so you turned away from him. “I know,” you whispered. “It’s a big day for the clan. There are many fine women to choose from.”
His heart dropped, fearing rejection from the only woman he had ever wanted. “I know,” he said and let his tail brush yours as he stepped around you, forcing you to look at him.
You shivered at the touch but brushed it off as an accidental touch. “Your father is very fond of Miayho, and your mother favours Zia,” you told him softly, unable to meet his eyes.
“You’re right,” he agreed. “But I’ve already chosen.” His words made your heart drop and you tried to turn away from him again, but he cupped your cheek to stop you. “But this woman must also choose me.”
“She must be lucky,” you whispered, your heart aching.
“She is,” Neteyam smiled. “She is strong and beautiful and a little slow at times, but she is the only one I could ever want.”
“’Teyam,” you breathed, your voice breaking, but his smile never faltered.
“I’m speaking of you,” he told you and softly shook his head. “Tomorrow I am granted the chance to choose a woman, and you are the only woman I have ever wanted. I choose you, if you choose me, too.”
You were quiet as the weight of his words sunk in, but slowly you cupped his cheek, too. “I chose you the moment I saw you,” you replied and rubbed your thumb over the deep blue line that traced the arch of his cheek.
Neteyam’s smile filled your chest with warmth and you leaned forward to rest your forehead against his. Neteyam’s smile softened as he rubbed his nose against yours. He’d mate you right here right now if you let him, but it was not the way, and a day was a short wait compared to the years he had already been waiting.
“So, it is decided, then?” He asked as he pulled back to look at you.
“It is,” you blushed and dipped your head as your ears went back, already itching to reach for your braid. At your words, Neteyam’s shoulders lightened, somewhat anyway. The weight of being the next Olo’eykton and living up to his father still plagued him, but he knew as long as he had you by his side, he’d be alright.
“We should sleep, then,” he told you and bit his lip. “I intent to mate you before Eywa tomorrow.”
Your blush darkened as you smiled. You didn’t dare ask if his mother or father approved of the match, you didn’t care, you just wanted him, needed him. “We should,” you agreed and tilted your chin up. “It is a big day tomorrow.”
Neteyam’s smile widened and he dipped his head. “A very big day,” he agreed and took your hand before he led you back to the village. The sooner you both fell asleep, the sooner tomorrow would come, and the sooner you could become one.
“You could stay with me,” you told him as you approached your tent.
There was nothing Neteyam wanted more, but he also knew his father would expect him in his own bed bright and early and he didn’t want to start the big day on the wrong foot. “Tomorrow night,” he replied and dipped his head. “Tonight will be our last night apart.”
You hated when he pulled his hand from yours, but you knew he was right, that it was the way. You had waited years for this, you could wait another night. “Tomorrow,” you nodded.
“Tomorrow,” he echoed you before he stepped back. Still, he watched as you slipped into your tent safe and secure before he made his way back to his own and prayed to Eywa his father hadn’t noticed his absence. Thankfully, he hadn’t, and Neteyam settled into his bed with a smile and warm chest.
Tomorrow he became taronyu.
Tomorrow he became a man.
Tomorrow he gained you. 
His eyelids were heavy and sleep came more easily to him. One moment he was thinking of your beautiful golden eyes, the next he was passed out, dreaming of your smile and the comforting flowery scent that always clung to your hair.
--
The sun woke him bright and early like it always did and he smiled as he stretched out.
Today was the day.
“Are you nervous?” Lo’ak asked him over breakfast and Neteyam rolled his eyes.
“Why would I be nervous?”
Lo’ak’s shit eating grin widened as he shoved his brother’s shoulder, “that no woman will want to mate with your ugly face.”
Any other day Neteyam would have told his brother off and shoved him back, but your words were still fresh in his mind—I chose you the moment I saw you—and his ears went back as he dipped his head.
Lo’ak’s smile faltered as he moved closer, his ears perking up before he knocked his shoulder against his brother’s. “Bro,” he said under his breath so their parents wouldn’t hear. “Got something you’d like to share?”
Neteyam knocked his shoulder right back against his brother’s. He was quiet for a moment as he debated whether he should say anything, but Neteyam knew his brother well, better than anyone, and he knew Lo’ak wouldn’t stop pestering him until he spilled. “I may have already chosen a woman,” he said with a small smile. “And she has chosen me as well. We will be mated before Eywa.”
“Bro,” Lo’ak breathed and put his hand on the back of Neteyam’s neck as he gave him a little shake. “You asked her?” Neteyam didn’t have to say a name for him to know he meant you.
Neteyam dropped his head again as he nodded, “it is decided.”
“I am surprised she settled for your skxawng ass, but I am happy for you, bro,” Lo’ak grinned, and he laughed as Neteyam bared his fangs at him and shook him off.
“Watch who you call skxawng, skxawng,” he replied, making Lo’ak laugh hard enough that their father looked over at them and their ears went back as they quickly went quiet.
Jake watched his sons for a long moment before he stepped over and sat down next to Neteyam and put his hand on his shoulder. “Are you ready, son?”
Neteyam smiled as he nodded, “born ready, sir.”
“Good,” Jake smiled and patted his son on the back. “Your mom has the paint, whenever you’re ready.”
Neteyam’s tail flicked behind him. “Actually, if it’s alright, there’s something else who I’d like to do the paint.”
For a moment Jake’s eyebrows raised as he looked at his son before the corner of his lip twitched up as he remembered when Neytiri painted him for his own iknimaya. “Of course,” Jake nodded. “But you have to tell your mother.”
His mother wasn’t exactly happy to give up the chance to paint her first born son ahead of the ceremony, but Neteyam rarely asked for anything and she could see in his eyes that it meant a great deal to him, so she resigned herself and handed the bowls of paint over to him. “I hope you chose well, my son,” Neytiri told him.
“I did,” Neteyam replied with a smile. “Thank you, mother.”
The bowls were full and despite their small size, they felt heavy in his hands as he headed out to find you. Neteyam knew both you and the village like the back of his hand so it was easy for him to find you. you blushed as he met your gaze and he smiled before he lowered his head to you and he sat down across from you.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” You asked him softly, buzzing with anticipation of what was to come.
“I should, yes,” he agreed and sat the bowls of paint down in front of you.
“Neteyam,” you breathed. It was traditionally done by mothers.
“I want you to,” he smiled. “That is, if you want to, too.”
You were quiet for a moment before you nodded. “I want to,” you smiled softly and moved the bowls closer to you, the weight of their significance not lost on you as you beckoned him closer. “Now?” You asked softly.
Neteyam nodded as he moved closer. You blushed when he ginned at you shoved his shoulder before dipping your fingers into the white paint. You started with his arm, your touch light as you traced familiar patterns over his skin. Neteyam shivered, both at the coolness of the paint and your touch and it made you blush deepen as you focused on your lines, not wanting to mess any of them up, especially when you felt the weight of his gaze on you.
After his arms, you moved on to his chest and you gave Neteyam a look when the corner of his lip twitched up. “I am well aware you are a mighty warrior, Neteyam,” you told him and pulled your fingers back so you wouldn’t ruin the lines.
“But now you feel that I am a mighty warrior,” he smirked, making you roll your eyes.
You were quiet for a moment as you tried to think of a reply. Slowly, you trailed your fingers down his abdomen and let your lip twitch up when you felt him tense at your touch. “I do,” you hummed and looked up at him. “And soon I will feel all of you.”
You bit your lip as Neteyam’s eyes darkened but you devoted your attention to finishing the lines on his abdomen before you picked up one of the bowls and moved to his back, giggling as Neteyam’s tail kept flicking as you traced the patterns on his skin and once you were done, you hesitated before pressing a soft kiss to the back of his neck and giggled when his ears stood straight up.
“You are a tease, woman,” he breathed as you settled back in front of him to paint his face.
“Am not,” you replied with a smile as you dipped your fingers into the paint again. “Now stay still.” To his benefit, Neteyam was still as he watched you, his tail flicking every now and then as you traced careful lines over his face, finishing with a feather light touch over his lips.
Your tongue darted out to wet your lips as you looked him over. “You are ready,” you told him as you sat back on your haunches.
“I am?” He asked and you nodded.
“You are.”
Neteyam knew kissing you would ruin the paint you worked so hard to get perfect, but he still thought about it and it took every ounce of his self control not to kiss you. “Thank you,” he smiled before he stood and your heart fluttered in your chest as you took him in.
Your best friend. Your lover. Your mate.
A man.
You took his hand when he extended it to you and let him lead you down to where the ceremony would take place. To no surprise, his parents, siblings, and grandmother were already there and when you met his mother’s gaze, you get go of his hand. You weren’t mates yet and this was his ceremony. A ceremony for the clan.
At the loss of your hand, Neteyam looked back at you but you gave him a reassuring smile as you encouraged him on with a nod so he returned his gaze to his parents. Slowly the rest of the clan emerged and began to form the circle around him, and you.
“Neteyam,” Jake started as he looked at his son, trying and failing to restrain his smile. “My son. You tamed an ikran and completed your dream hunt. You are one of the People now,” he said before putting his hands on Neteyam’s shoulders just like Eytukan had done to him many years before. Once Jake touched Neteyam, the rest of his family and then the clan followed suit, one by one until everyone was connected as they welcomed Neteyam into the clan as a man.
You smiled at him as the people began to separate and once he could, Neteyam turned and put his hand on your shoulder, making you blush. His parents weren’t oblivious as they watched you, and Jake gave Neytiri a knowing smile as he held his hand out to her. It felt like just yesterday that she had done the same to him and he was happy for his son. He chose well, just like he did.
--
Every time a member of the clan came of age, there was a celebration. It was filled with food and dance and stories and songs; and Neteyam spent the whole night looking at you.
He was seated between his father, the Olo’eykton, and Lo’ak, and you were across from him, much too far for his liking. He could hear the people telling stories, but he wasn’t listening as he focused on you. You were the only thing that mattered to him.
You had put flowers in your hair and you wore a top he didn’t recognize so it had to be new and Neteyam couldn’t take his eyes off you. You were his everything.
It was only once the sun began to dip in the sky and people returned to their tents that Neteyam was able to steal some much needed alone time with you.
Neteyam washed the paint off and put his newly earned battle belt on by himself, but Jake stuck around with a gut instinct and gave his son a nod before he put his hand on his shoulder. Neteyam didn’t have to tell him for him to know he intended to take a mate, he remembered his own youth well and he could only hope his son found the same happiness he found in Neytiri.
Neteyam nodded back to his father, a smile playing on his lips. “Are you sure, son?” Jake asked and Neteyam nodded.
“More sure than I have ever been.”
“Good,” Jake nodded and squeezed his son’s shoulder. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
It was Neteyam’s turn to laugh and he shrugged his father’s hand off, dipping his head to his father one final time before he slipped out to find you. He was a man now, and you were his to claim.
Neteyam held his hand out to you and you blushed as you took it and let him guide you toward the Tree of Souls. If you were to be mated, then you were going to do it properly and you would be mated before Eywa.
It was only you and Neteyam before the tree and your heart raced with anticipation. By the time you got before the tree, before Eywa, you were a couple steps ahead of Neteyam and your ears twitched with every step he took to close the distance between you. Your tail flicked as he shifted his weight and it took him way too long to touch you, his hand just barely brushing your back to make you look at him.
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he said softly, giving you an out. But you didn’t want an out.
“I want to,” you told him, holding his eyes before you slowly lowered yourself to your knees, your heart racing. This was the moment you had been waiting for your whole life, with the person you had been hoping for.
Neteyam followed your lead and knelt across from you before he pulled his braid over his shoulder. You held his gaze as you did the same, your braid heavy in your hand. You had made the bond with horses and your ikran, but taking a mate was something else entirely. Your heart raced with excitement and anxiety as you gripped the end of your braid and held it up, your tendrils searching for his.
You held Neteyam’s gaze as he gripped the end of his own braid and held it out. You let your eyes drop to your braid as he brought his closer. He paused to give you a chance to pull back, and when you didn’t, he moved his braid closer, letting his tendrils intertwine with yours.
It was unlike anything you had every experienced before.
The air left you lungs and you closed your eyes as you leaned into him, resting your forehead against his as you took a deep breath to steady yourself. His touch felt like electricity as he trailed his hands up your arms. And then you were overcome with warmth and familiarity and comfort. Home, you realized. You felt at home. You pulled back to look at him, your jaw slack and pupils blown and you found Neteyam looking back at you with the same awestruck expression. Warmth and pleasure coursed through your veins and when he cupped your cheek, you leaned into his touch.
And then he kissed you. For as long as you could remember, you dreamt of the touch of your mate, but it was so much better than you could have imagined and you melted into the kiss as you rested your hands on his shoulders and moved closer.
Neteyam’s hands trailed down to your hips and you let him pull you onto his lap, both of you desperate for every touch you could steal. You pulled back from the kiss to catch your breath as you struggled to keep air in your lungs, your pull to Neteyam so strong. Your jaw was slack as you looked at him and you were sure your pupils were as blown as his were.
“Neteyam,” you breathed and rubbed your nose against his, craving his touch.
“I know, my name,” he breathed and rubbed his nose back against yours as he let you feel him through his loin cloth. It pulled a soft moan from your lips which he quickly quieted with another kiss.
“I need you,” he said against your lips and let his hand brush the top of your tail, knowing how sensitive it was, and he was rewarded with you rocking your hips into his.
“I need you, too,” you told him and pulled back so you could run your hand down his strong chest to his newly earned warrior’s belt. It wasn’t something you had ever put on let alone taken off, so Neteyam had to help you rid himself of it so you could once again trail your fingers down his abdomen and down to the top of his loin cloth.
Neteyam’s soft groan had heat pooling between your thighs and you were sure he could feel it. “’Teyam,” you whispered and covered his hand on your hip with your own. His golden eyes were dark as he looked at you and you slowly guided his hand up to your chest, needing him to touch you.
Neteyam had seen your chest more times than he’d care to admit, the necklace and beads provided little coverage, but seeing you and feeling you were two entirely different things. Your skin was warm and soft beneath his touch, but your nipples were hard and when he caught it between his fingers, he was rewarded with a soft moan from you, which he desperately wanted to hear again.
He licked his lips as he brought his hand up to your other breast. His hands dwarfed you, and you moaned and leaned into him as he pinched your nipples, learning exactly what you liked, what you needed.
“’Teyam,” you whined and rocked your hips into his once again. His touch wasn’t enough, you could feel him and you needed him. “My mate,” you whispered and trailed your hands down his back.
“I know,” he nodded. You didn’t have to tell him for him to know. He gave a final tweak to your nipples before trailing his hands down your sides to the band of your loin cloth. He kept his eyes on yours as he undid it and slowly peeled the material away from you. it only made your racing heart more intense as you rested on his lap, and your tail brushed his knees as he looked at you before he laid you back against the soft moss.
You were bare to him, but you didn’t care as he looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky. Neteyam ran his eyes over you before he reached down to untie his own loin cloth, and then there was nothing between you.
“Please, ‘Teyam.”
He nodded and ran his hand up your thigh toward where you needed him most. As soon as his thumb reached the seam of where your thigh met your hip, Neteyam could feel how badly you needed him, your wetness coating your skin, pulling a soft groan from him.
When he finally touched you, his touch was light and you let your eyes close as you moaned softly. He was gentle as he trailed his fingers up your slit to the bud at the top and he was rewarded with a loud gasp when he rubbed your clit. He watched you with careful eyes as he circled the bud with his fingers and felt how you throbbed for him.
The tips of his fingers were rough from his years of hunting, and between the roughness and sureness of his touch, you wouldn’t last long. Your high was building fast and when you opened your eyes and found his familiar golden eyes looking back at you, it sent you over the edge.
“Neteyam,” you moaned as you came, your back arching as you pressed your hips into his hand. Neteyam groaned as you drenched his hand and he kept rubbing your clit through it, loving your blissed out expression. It was only when your moans turned to whines that he trailed his fingers down your slit to your entrance.
“May I?” He asked and you nodded quickly so he pressed his finger into you, moaning at how warm and tight you were. His mate, he thought. His perfect mate.
Once you adjusted to his finger, he added a second, not wanting to hurt you. He felt your every flutter around his fingers and it made his cock ache. “I need you,” he told you, his voice rough from holding himself back.
“Then have me,” you replied and spread your legs wider, desperate for your mate.
“Eywa have mercy,” he whispered and pulled his fingers from you before slotting himself between your thighs. He didn’t have to ask, he could feel your need, and he held your gaze as he guided himself to your entrance.
You gasped as he pressed into you and he rested his forehead against yours until his hips were touching yours. “My mate,” he breathed as you ran your hands down his back, and when you wrapped your legs around his hips, you felt his tail brush your ankle. Neteyam’s breaths were shallow as he rested his forehead against your shoulder, both of you needing a moment to adjust.
You were finally tied together the way you always should have been.
Together.
Connected.
One.
“’Teyam,” you breathed once you had adjusted and you cupped the back of his head.
He knew exactly what you needed and he nodded as he pulled halfway out before thrusting back into you and started a slow rhythm, soaking in every feeling of you. You had never felt so connected to someone and you melted at his touch, unsure of where you ended and he began.
His movements were slow but sure and you were consumed with the feel and smell of him. He filled you in a way you didn’t know you could be filled and you could feel yourself get closer and closer to that high with his every movement.
It wasn’t long until your moans grew louder and you dug your nails into his shoulders as your tail thrashed against the moss. When you came, your veins were filled with warmth, a warmth that only Neteyam could feel as his hips stuttered. The feeling of his mate cumming around him was indescribable and it pushed him ever closer.
He fucked you through your high before he picked his pace up, searching his own high. It wasn’t long before he came, too, burying himself deep inside you as he filled you up. You gasped at the feeling and pulled him closer, needing every piece of your mate you could get.
Neteyam smiled into your neck as you both caught your breath, and he pressed a light kiss to your skin before he pulled back to look at you with a soft smile. “We are mated before Eywa,” he breathed and cupped your jaw.
You leaned into his touch with a soft smile. “We are mated for life,” you replied, making his smile widen.
“My mate, my beautiful mate,” he smiled and rested his forehead against yours as you both soaked each other in.
You stayed with your forehead against his as your highs melted away, and slowly Neteyam pulled out of you, murmuring a soft apology when you whimpered at the loss of him. You could still feel his every breath and heartbeat, just like he could feel yours, and when he reached to break the bond, you shook your head. “Can we stay like this?” You asked softly.
Neteyam dropped his head as he nodded and he gave you a small smile before he kissed you softly. His every touch felt like home and you melted into him. He ran his thumbs over your cheek as he looked at you, his eyes full of love for you before he let himself settle behind you. His chest was warm against your back as he wrapped his arms around your waist and you smiled to yourself as you leaned back against him.
You could feel his breath and his heart and the entirely of his being.
Whole, you realized, you felt whole. Neteyam was your other half, the part you hadn’t realized you were missing. Your everything.
The bond was a beautiful thing.
You smiled as you melted back against him. Your eyelids were heavy and it was easy for sleep to claim you, and when it did, you dreamt of your future with Neteyam—the way you’d grow together and the son he’d give you—and you smiled as you slept, unaware that Eywa had shown Neteyam the same dream.
--
When you woke to the sunlight streaming on your face the next morning, Neteyam was already awake, just soaking in the feeling of you, your braids still conjoined. He smiled when he realized you were awake and guided you onto your back so he could look at you as he rested on his side.
“Good morning, my mate,” he smiled softly.
“Good morning, my mate,” you repeated and reached out to cup his cheek. Neteyam leaned into your touch, making you smile as you ran your thumb over the arch of his cheek.
All he wanted was to stay wrapped up in you forever, but he knew you both had things to do and expectations to meet. “We should head back to the village,” he whispered and you sighed before nodding.
“We should,” you agreed, even if all you wanted was him.
He nodded and pressed a soft kiss to your lips before he asked to separate your braids. You didn’t want to, but you nodded and let Neteyam pull his braid from yours. You gasped at the break, feeling colder than you did a moment before, but even without the bond you could feel Neteyam. It was nowhere as strong as when your braids met, but he still lingered in the back of your mind and you knew you lingered in the back of his. You gave him a soft smile as you trailed your hand down his arm and he grinned at you, so in love with you.
It wasn’t hard for both of you to redress, through it did take you a few extra moments to clean your thighs, which made Neteyam smirk as he watched you, both of you taking your time, neither of you wanting the moment to end.
You had left the village as individuals, but now you returned as a mated pair. You held his hand as you let him guide you through the village toward his parents, toward the Olo’eykton.
As the Olo’eykton, it was his duty to know of every newly mated pair, and had it been anyone but his father, you wouldn’t have been so nervous. Sure, it was soon after his iknimaya, but he was still a man. But it was Neteyam’s father and Neteyam was the next Olo’eykton, making you, his mate, the next Tsahìk, and you couldn’t disappoint his family, or the People.
To no surprise, his family was already awake. Village life always started early.
“Neteyam,” Neytiri started when she laid her eyes on her oldest son, but her next words died on her tongue when she saw him holding your hand. He didn’t have to say anything for her to know. At his mate’s voice, Jake looked over and the corner of his lips twitched up as he saw his eldest son, already sensing his earlier intuition was correct.
“Mother, father,” Neteyam said and dipped his head to his parents, his hand never leaving yours, “I am taronyu now,” he continued. “Which means—”
“You may now choose a woman,” his mother finished for him, thinking back to the night she told Jake the very same words.
“Yes,” he breathed before he glanced back at you with a smile. “And I have.”
“You have?” Jake asked and Neteyam nodded as he looked to his father.
“We are mated before Eywa.”
His mother took a sharp breath in, not in disapproval, but out of realization that her eldest son had truly become a man and had left her nest. Jake touched Neytiri’s arm to ground her as he nodded to his son. “We’re happy for you,” he said for the both of them before looking at his own mate, encouraging her to say something.
“We are,” she breathed and stepped forward to cup Neteyam’s cheek. “My son,” she whispered and ran her thumb over the arch of his cheek.
Neteyam smiled at his mother before he nodded and pulled back from her touch, his smile widening as he looked at you and let his tail brush yours. Jake nodded at the interaction before he smiled at you, “welcome to the family.”
Your smile widened before you dipped your head to him. “Thank you, sir.”
“Nah,” Jake waved his hand. “It’s Jake.” He told you, though one day you’d come to call him ‘dad.’
You were welcomed into the Sully family with open arms. Neytiri had her reservations, as would any mother, but Jake adored you. He saw how deeply you cared for Neteyam, and how deeply Neteyam cared for you, and though he’d never admit it, Jake could see him and Neytiri in you two.
Neteyam’s youngest sister, Tuk, adored you and though Neteyam was her best friend, you were a close second. Kiri was happy to have another sister, and one closer in age than Tuk. And Lo’ak…
Lo’ak treated you like you had always been there. He didn’t hesitate to make fun of you like he did for the rest of his siblings, and he certainly didn’t hold back as he made fun of you picking Neteyam for your mate. It always made Neteyam roll his eyes and, more often than not, call his sibling a skxawng, but it made you smile because it meant you were truly part of the family and you loved it.
The bond was beautiful, as was the family you gained with it.
The problem was, nothing stayed perfect forever.
Everything changed the day Jake realized there was one too many stars in the sky.
Twenty years before, Toruk Makto led the clans to victory over the Sky People, all Na’vi knew his story, but the war was over, something of the past, something that had come and gone before either you or Neteyam were born—or it was supposed to be anyway.
The Second War against the Sky People was more intense than you could have ever imagined, with the guns and the fire and the relocation and the devastation and the death—so many deaths.
A very capable hunter, Neteyam was always involved in the war effort. A spotter. He tried to reassure you that it was the safest role he could have, that he wasn’t on the ground on the front lines, but it didn’t make you feel any better. There was no “safe” in a war. And you had seen too many of your people die.
As the mate of the next Olo’eykton, you could be the next Tsahìk, so Mo’at had taken you under her win, teaching you so you could one day take her place. So, unlike your mate, his parents and his brother, your role in the war wasn’t out there but back at home as you worked to heal the wounded—and make comfortable those who would be welcomed into Eywa’s arms.
You knew your role was important, but it was hard. It was hard to see the devastation and the death, and it was hard knowing your mate was out there and could just as easily be the next person who came through the tent flap in need of help.
You could never breathe deeply, let alone eat or drink, until he was home safe.
And the day he came back home bruised and bloodied, you dropped your tray of herbs before you rushed to him, even as Jake scolded him and Lo’ak.
“I’m fine,” he told you softly, but the blood on your hand said otherwise.
“You are bleeding, he is bleeding,” you said as you turned to Jake after he finished his little speech. “I am taking him to Mo’at.” Neytiri backed you up, also worried for her son, so Jake dismissed him and you heard Neytiri arguing with him as you led Neteyam toward the healing tent, your hand on his back.
“I’m fine, truly,” he repeated once you two were out of earshot of his parents.
“You are hurt,” you replied softly and stopped to look at him, taking his hand in yours. “My heart aches seeing you hurt.”
Neteyam gave you a soft smile and rested his forehead against yours. “I am fine, my mate,” he said before he kissed you. “I feel no pain when I am with you.”
His words made your heart flutter and you retuned his smile. “You still require healing,” you replied and led him to Mo’at’s tent where Kiri was helping her grandmother.
You knew you should help Mo’at, but you couldn’t find it in you to leave your mate’s side. Kiri knew what to do, she was even better than you were, and you were more than happy to let her assist Mo’at while you held Neteyam’s hand, the end of your tail curled around his ankle.
Your heart ached every time he winced at the sting of the antiseptic and you squeezed his hand as you watched Mo’at and Kiri. His wound looked worse than it was, and you let out a relieved breath as they finished up.
“See?” Neteyam smiled weakly. “I’m okay.” You shook your head but still thanked Eywa that your mate was alright.
Still, you struggled to find sleep that night, your mind consumed with the what ifs of your mate’s injury. It would be too easy for his injury to be worse, for him to be taken from you. You had seen too many lose their mates the last year and had their blood curling screams as their hearts shattered beyond repair permanently imprinted in your memory.
To lose a mate was a fate worse than death, and you knew you’d never survive it.
Neteyam healed quickly from his wounds and Lo’ak was grounded for his recklessness. Neteyam was back on his ikran long before Lo’ak was, and without his ikran, without being involved in the war, Lo’ak somehow managed to create even more trouble as he convinced his siblings to return to the old shack.
It was a harmless intention born out of boredom and frustration, but the results were life altering.
It was Avatars. New Avatars. In tactical gear. They managed to get Lo’ak, Kiri, Tuk and Spider under their knives and you didn’t want to think of what could have happened if not for Jake, Neytiri and Neteyam. But Jake knew they’d never stop hunting them, hunting his family. They may have won the battle, but the war still raged.
Everything changed after that, after they took Spider.
Jake and Neytiri knew the People would never be safe as long as they stayed with them, so they had to leave.
The words were like stones in Neteyam’s heart as he told you his family was planning to leave.
The Forest was your home, the only place you ever knew, the only place you ever wanted to know. The Forest was where you were born, where you grew up, where you fell in love with Neteyam, where you were supposed to raise your children.
Neteyam could sense your hesitation. “My father said it was for the best. He said that the Sky People are hunting us and not the People, so if we leave, the People will be safe,” he explained as he took your hand in his and brushed his tail against yours. “But I will stay with you if you ask me, my mate.” He would follow you to the end of the world if you asked.
You tightened your lips as you thought, but it was an easy decision. Just a painful one. “I go where you go,” you told him softly and squeezed his hand. “You are my home and my future, Neteyam.”
In hindsight, you really wished you had asked him to stay.
You packed your things onto your ikran and your heart ached as you said your goodbyes, but Neteyam was your mate. You couldn’t be without him.
Neteyam flew by your side as you left the Forest and even without touching him, you felt his comfort and you gave him a soft smile. As long as you were together, you’d be alright.
In the end, you found sanctuary with the Metkayina, the reef people.
It was hard to learn their ways, it was hard leaning the way of the water when the Forest was all you knew, but what you didn’t expect was how hard it was to see Neteyam lose his battle belt. His whole life he had been working toward it, working to become taronyu and earn his place among the People, and he barely had it a year before it was taken from him; before his symbol of manhood was taken from him.
Neteyam may have been taronyu, a man, among the Omatikaya, but you were Metkayina now and the iknimaya of the Omatikaya meant nothing here. He had to learn the way of the water and earn his place among the Metkayina before he’d be seen as a man.
Like Jake, Neteyam’s ears dropped as his belt was taken away and you did your best to steel your shoulders like Neytiri. You both had to be strong for your mates.
None of you were seen as adults among the Metkayina, but rather as children. It frustrated some more than others, like you and Neytiri. Neteyam took after his father and tried to take the transition in stride and did what he could to fit in.
And if the relocation and the helpless feeling wasn’t enough, you were sick a few times after the transition. Initially, you blamed it on the dietary shift. Sure, fish had been a part of your diet before, but it was freshwater fish and something you only had on occasion rather than every meal of every day. It was easy to blame your sickness on the fish, you just didn’t realize that none of the others were getting sick. Not until you were shucking oysters with Ronal at least.
Ronal was the Tsahìk of the Metkayina. She saw all and she was especially hesitant toward you and Neytiri. Both you and Neytiri were being trained to become the Tsahìk of the Omatikaya, so it was natural for you both to resume your training with Ronal, she just wasn’t overly fond of the idea.
Ronal let it go the first few times you gagged at the smell of the oysters before she sighed. “Have you mated recently?” She asked without looking at you.
Your eyes bugged at the question. “Why do you ask?” You replied and stopped shucking to look over at her.
“Because I am wondering if you are with child,” Ronal replied, and the knife slipped from your hand.
“What?” You asked breathlessly.
“With child,” she repeated simply. She had had two children of her own with a third on the way, and she had helped to deliver more babes than she could count. She knew the signs well and given the amount of time she had been spending with you over the last couple weeks, she could see them in you. When you didn’t answer, Ronal looked over at you, “it is a simple question. Have you mated recently?”
Your ears went back as you blushed and nodded. Ronal hummed and put the oyster she was holding and her knife down before she stood and beckoned you up. She hummed as she looked you over before she touched your forehead and then your stomach.
“Food aversion?” She asked and you nodded.
“Fatigue?” You nodded again.
“Have you bled?” You thought about it for a moment before you ears went back further. You had been so focused on fitting in and your mate you hadn’t realized.
Ronal hummed and stepped back. “I do believe you are with child,” she said before she returned to her oysters like your world hadn’t just shifted on its axis—again.
Your hands shook as you gently touched your stomach.
Pregnant.
You—
You’d be lying if you said you couldn’t be, you certainly found comfort in your mate’s arms many, many times since the relocation. But pregnant? Now? Could there be a worse time?
Slowly, you pulled your hands back and took a deep breath to clear your mind and ground yourself before you picked your knife back up and reached for another oyster.
“There are other things to do,” Ronal told you. “If the small bothers you, you will be slow. Tsireya will provide you with a different task to do.” You wanted to take her up on the offer, but you could hear Jake’s voice in your head telling you not to cause trouble and pull your weight, so you shook your head.
“I will be fine.”
She hummed but wasn’t surprised when you gagged again a moment later and she cast a look in your direction. You sighed as you nodded and moved your basket of unshucked oysters over to her, “I will find Tsireya.” If she smiled as you walked away, well, no one had to know.
Everyone was still so focused on fitting in and you could see the way looking after Lo’ak and keeping him out of trouble weighed on Neteyam, so you kept the news to yourself. If you told him, he’d only worry about you more than he already did and you didn’t want that.
And, well, it was no surprise that Ronal wasn’t fond of you. Forest People. Outcast. Alien. But knowing you were with child made Ronal soften. She didn’t look at you with the same animosity she did the others, and every time she saw you, she was sure to ask how you were doing. The Sullys were smart people, and it didn’t take Neytiri long to put two and two together and realize something was up with you, but she kept her suspicions to herself as she kept a careful eye on you.
You had always been the more affectionate one in your relationship with Neteyam, always touching him or seeking to touch him, but now you were reserved. At first, Neytiri thought you two were fighting, but Neteyam assured her you weren’t, that it was just the move and the swimming was exhausting you and the fish wasn’t agreeing with you, which was true—it just wasn’t the whole truth.
It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell him. You did, you just didn’t want to add to his already full plate, and then the longer you kept it a secret the harder it was to tell him. Between Kiri’s seizure and Norm coming and Lo’ak and Neteyam’s fight with Ao’nung and Payakan and the Tulkun, there just wasn’t a good time to tell him.
It was only after yet another dinner you couldn’t keep down that the truth finally came to light.
“You are unwell,” Neteyam said as he followed you toward your hut. It was the third time this week and he was tired of you constantly brushing it, and him, off.
“I’m fine, Neteyam,” you sighed. “It’s just—”
“The move? The fish?” He repeated your words back to you. “No, I don’t believe you. Have you spoken to Ronal? She is Tsahìk and she could help you.”
You hesitated before you turned back to look at him with tight lips before you sighed and took his hand. He gave you a concerned look as you guided him down to the beach where you could have some privacy. “Ronal can’t help me,” you said as you turned to face and gently fiddled with his fingers. “Because I am not sick.”
“It is just us, my mate, you never need lie to me,” he replied softly and used his free hand to cup your cheek.
“I’m not lying, ‘Teyam,” you breathed and covered his hand with yours before you guided it down to your stomach. “I’m not sick, I’m with child.”
Neteyam froze as he let your words sink in before he softened. “You are with child?” He whispered and stepped closer to you.
You nodded, “it’s horrible timing, but—”
“But nothing,” he smiled. “This is amazing news! We’re having a baby—the first of many I hope.” You were taken by surprise when he picked you up and spun you around, completely elated.
You laughed softly as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders before you patted him. “Enough, ‘Teyam, I’ll be sick again.”
“Right, sorry, my love,” he replied and sat you down, his smile never wavering as he touched your stomach again. “I’m just really happy.”
“I am, too,” you said softly and covered his hand before you kissed him softly. He cupped the back of your head to keep you close, but you both couldn’t stop smiling so you pulled back and rested your hand on his chest, feeling the familiar, comforting beat of his heart.
Neteyam wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer by the small of your back before he rested his forehead against yours. “I would take you here and now on the beach if you let me, my mate,” he hummed.
“Anyone could see, including your parents,” you laughed.
“Then let them see,” he hummed and when he tried to kiss you again, you shoved him back, making him laugh loudly before he pulled you close again, the tips of his fingers brushing the base of your tail, knowing how sensitive it was.
“Once the sickness passes,” you told him and guided his hand back up to your back.
Neteyam softened and he nodded, “of course, my mate. May I at least hold you tonight?”
“I’d expect nothing else,” you smiled and let him lead you back toward your hut. Once Neteyam closed the flap, you rid yourself of your top—another sign of your growing baby was how swollen and sensitive your breasts had become and the weight of the beads irritated you in a way they never had before.
Neteyam groaned low in his throat as he knelt on the bed, “are you sure you don’t want me to pleasure you, my mate?” He asked softly.
“Maybe tomorrow,” you laughed and pulled him down next to you and you laughed when his hand managed to find your breast after he settled behind you. He didn’t try to do more than hold your breast while his other hand rested on your stomach, so you let him as you pressed yourself back against him.
The reef wasn’t the Forest, but it was nice and welcoming and you could see you two raising your children along the blue water and sandy beaches. Neteyam’s tail curled around your ankle and you smiled as you tried to press yourself closer to him. You could feel him smile into your neck and it was easy to fall asleep.
He was your everything.
This family was your everything.
And if you knew what would happen next, you would have fought sleep to soak in the feeling of his arms one last time. You would have memorized the beating of his heart and the rise and fall of his chest. You would have traced every dark line that decorated his body. You would have held him a little longer.
You wouldn’t have taken the moment for granted, expecting thousands more in the coming years.
But you didn’t know what would happen so you didn’t, and the ache of regret would eat at you for the rest of your days.
The bond… it’s a beautiful thing.
Until it isn’t.
--
The village was devastated by the hunting of the Tulkun by the Sky People. They were their spirit brothers and sisters, and Jake didn’t have to say it for you to know it happened because you were here. They weren’t hunting the Tulkun, they were hunting you. When Jake took the tracker from Neteyam, you took his hand and he tried to reassure you as he squeezed your hand.
“You tell the Tulkun if they’re hit by one of these, they’re marked for death.”
Jake’s words hung heavy in the air. Neteyam gave you a look that told you everything would be okay, but your stomach still twisted. You came to the Metkayina to hide; to keep your people safe. You promised them you were done with war, but the war still followed you—and at the cost of their spirit siblings.
And because nothing ever came easy, Lo’ak was determined to warn Payakan himself. Neteyam followed Lo’ak, knowing his brother better than anyone and his suspicions were confirmed when he saw Lo’ak gathering a saddle for an ilu.
He shook his head, a frustrated smile on his lips, “no way, you’re not going, baby brother.”
Lo’ak wasn’t having any of it. “I have to warn Payakan,” he told his brother firmly.
“No. You have to keep your skxawng ass here,” Neteyam replied, gritting his teeth. For once, could he just listen to him.
But Lo’ak never did. “He’s outcast. There’s no one to warn him but me.”
Neteyam shook his head as he clenched his fist. “Bro, why do you always have to make things so hard?” Neteyam said exasperated as he touched the top of Lo’ak’s’ head, but Lo’ak quickly shoved him off as his eyes hardened.
“No. You mean why can’t I be the perfect son like you, a perfect little soldier. Well, I’m not you, okay? I’m not you. He’s my brother. I’m going.” Neteyam clenched his jaw as he stepped back, his brother’s words cutting him like a knife. If he only knew the weight of his words, but he didn’t and he never would as Neteyam swallowed back the bitter words threatening to spill out and he steeled himself as stepped closer to his brother.
“Oh, he’s your brother? No, I’m your brother,” his voice was hard as he stared Lo’ak down, but Lo’ak didn’t concede and he scoffed before he dove in the water, heading for Payakan and Neteyam knew he had to go after him.
“Neteyam!” You called as you came up behind him and he shook his head.
“He’s going to Payakan,” he told you and you were hot on his heels as he summoned his ilu, as were Tsireya, Kiri, Tuk, Ao’nung and Rotxo. But when you went to summon your own ilu, Neteyam put his hand on your stomach to keep you back. “I need you here where you’re safe,” he told you but you shook his head.
“I’m going, Neteyam.” He opened his mouth to argue, but your look silenced him. Wherever your mate went, you would follow.
His tail flicked as he clenched his jaw before he nodded. “With me then,” he said before he dove into the water and you followed his lead. You quickly settled behind him on his ilu and wrapped your hand around his waist while he held onto the reigns of the ilu with one hand, his other hand reaching back to hold your thigh, keeping you against him as he followed after Lo’ak to Payakan.
By the time you got to Payakan, Lo’ak was struggling against the red tracker buried in Payakan’s back while the others tried to help. You and Neteyam were quick to jump on and help, but the tracker was in deep and you realized quickly that the demon ship was rapidly approaching.
“Call dad,” Neteyam said to Lo’ak. “Just do it.”
He didn’t want to, he knew the trouble he’d be in, so he hesitated before he called Jake. Lo’ak’s words were muffled as you all focused on the tracker. Your heart raced as you kept glancing between it and the demon ship. “Come on, come on, come on,” you said as Neteyam tossed a rope up to Ao’nung who wrapped one end around the tracker while Neteyam wrapped the other end around the reigns of his ilu.
“Please, Eywa, please,” you whispered as you pulled and pulled and finally the tracker gave, and you all fell at the release of tension. Neteyam was quick to gather the tracker as Lo’ak told Payakan to go.
“Go, I’ll draw them away,” Neteyam told you, making your blood go cold. When you opened your mouth to argue, Neteyam shook his head. They were after the tracker and Neteyam couldn’t have it anywhere near you, your baby, or his siblings. “Take Tuk, I’ll see you after.”
You had no choice but to nod and you gathered Tuk and Kiri on Kiri’s ilu and led them into the seaweed for cover, but the submarines followed you. Your mind raced as quickly as your heart as your ilu weaved between plants and leaves, desperate for any cover, but there wasn’t any to be had. There was too many of them.
The submarines swarmed you, forcing you off the ilu and you kept your eyes on Tuk as you swam toward an air pocket, Lo’ak and Tsireya right behind you while Kiri ended up with Ao’nung and Rotxo. “They’re coming,” Tsireya said and you were all quick to dive back under, but it was useless. The submarines could move faster than you could swim.
It was over when they launched the net at you. You didn’t realize it was coming until it was too late, the net already surrounding you and the air left your lungs as you began to panic. Lo’ak managed to escape before it caught him and he pulled at the net trying to rescue you, Tuk and Tsireya, but it was no use. The net scooped you up and dropped you on board the demon ship. Your vision swam as you tried to catch your breath, your lungs burning, and before you knew it, you were bound to the demon ship’s rail.
You watched as Tuk, Tsireya and Lo’ak struggled against the bonds but you knew it pointless. You were stuck. You were stuck and your mate was somewhere out there. You felt useless as the Metkayina attacked the demon ship. When you came and begged for sanctuary, you had promised them there would be no more war and now the war was here and they’d die because of your family.
You looked Tuk and your heart sank at the terror in her eyes, and you were so focused on Tuk you didn’t notice Payakan until he was on top of you, desperate to save Lo’ak.
All hell broke loose after that.
“Don’t watch,” you told Tuk. “Keep your eyes on me, okay?” Neteyam had always been her favourite family member, but you were a close second given you were his mate. Her cheeks were wet with tears as she nodded. “Just keep your eyes on me, Tuk,” you repeated.
It was only when Neteyam jumped on board that you were finally able to take a deep breath. A smile played on his lips as he cut your bounds, then Tuk’s, then Tsireya’s before he reached his brother and cut him free. “Who’s the might warrior? Come on, say it,” he grinned as he touched Lo’ak’s head before he turned back to you.
“Bro,” Lo’ak smiled and reached for a gun while Neteyam had his back to him.
“Go, get out of here. Take Tuk. Go,” Neteyam said to you.
“Neteyam—” you tried but he shook his head.
“Go,” he repeated, begging you to listen to him, and you clenched your jaw as you tried to lead Tuk away, and Neteyam kept his eyes on you, desperate to make sure you and Tuk were safe. But when he heard the familiar click of a gun, he turned back to his brother.
“We have to go,” he said but Lo’ak shook his head.
“He has Spider. Come on, bro, we can’t lose him,” Lo’ak said and headed into the ship.
Neteyam protested under his breath before he followed after his brother. Lo’ak always had to make things difficult.
At the same time, they managed to grab Kiri. Tuk’s scream for her sister would forever be imprinted in your memory, but you had to get her to safety. Jake and Neytiri would get Kiri.
Except, Tuk fought your hold on her before she slipped free and headed back for the ship. “Sullys stick together,” she said and you grumbled under your breath before you abandoned your ilu and headed after her, needing to keep her safe.
“This isn’t a good idea, Tuk,” you whisper shouted at her, but she ignored you, desperate to save Kiri, and you were sure to be quiet as you followed her.
“Kiri!” She called when she saw her sister, slipping under the bars as you both tried to break Kiri’s bonds, but it was no use and an Avatar was quick to bind Tuk to the rail next to Kiri before shoving you back into the water. Your heart sank and you wanted nothing more than to jump up and fight and rescue them and keep them safe, but when the bullets hit the water, you knew it wasn’t an option and you called to a nearby ilu and quickly jumped on. You’d have to find another way to rescue them and you circled the water looking for any sign of your mate and Lo’ak.
You were granted a moment of relief when you saw Tsireya, but it was short lived as you realized she was alone and your heart sank. Tsireya pulled her ilu up beside yours and pursed her lips as she shook her head. Neteyam and Lo’ak had to still be on board.
Your heart twisted before a flash of cold went through your body and you gasped for breath under the water, the air bubbling around you as Lo’ak, Spider and Neteyam jumped into the water above you, bullets still raining around you.
No.
No.
You knew it. Before he could even say it, you knew, the freezing cold blooming in your chest that left you gasping for air as you resurfaced in the water.
“That was insane, cous,” the voice was muffled in your ears.
“Neteyam,” you breathed and reached out to him.
“You skxawng, I’ve been shot.”
Panic coursed through your veins and you swore you didn’t breathe as you wrapped your arm around him to keep his head above the water, the normally clear water stained red with his blood. Too much blood.
“You’re okay, you’re okay,” you said to both him and yourself, even as the ice in your chest melted to a sharp ache that shot down your arm and Neteyam’s expression twisted in pain.
The panic in Lo’ak’s eyes mirrored your own as he helped you get Neteyam onto the ilu before he pulled you on too. “Shit,” he hissed under his breath. Neteyam was a mighty warrior, the best of his age, but he was weak in his arms.
“They have Kiri and Tuk,” Tsireya tried to tell him, but the words never really processed for him.
“We can’t go back,” he replied and raced for the rocks, Tsireya and Spider holding on to the side if the ilu’s reigns. You kept your hand pressed against Neteyam’s chest as you moved through the water and his hand gripped your wrist tightly, needing to hold on to you, needing to anchor himself to you.
It only took a minute to get to the rocks, but it felt like hours. Lo’ak helped you carry Neteyam as he gritted his teeth in pain. Your chest felt tighter with every passing second and you didn’t know if it was your own anxiety, or your mate slipping through your fingers.
Your hands shook as you moved around him and your ears started to ring as you rolled him onto his side. The shot was clean through.
“It’s almost always better for the bullet to be clean through.” You could hear Jake’s voice in your head and you laid him back and put pressure on his chest as you begged Eywa to help you.
It was almost always better.
Almost.
Neteyam’s hands were coated in his own blood and he looked up at you with wide, terrified eyes before he grasped your bicep, his grip nowhere near as strong as it was when he held your wrist.
“You’re okay, you’re going to be okay,” you told him, willing your voice not to shake so you could be strong for your mate. He breathed your name before he scrunched his face up like he was trying to get away from the pain. “You’re going to be okay,” you repeated before pulling your eyes away from his as Jake and Neytiri settled around you.
“No, no, no,” Jake whispered as he perched across from you.
“Clean through,” you told him before he could ask, your ears back and hands red with Neteyam’s blood, and your heart dropped at the way his ears went back. “No,” you whispered, unable to muster your voice any louder before you looked back at your mate. He had to be okay.
He had to.  
“You’ll be okay,” Neteyam told you as he struggled to force air into his lungs.
The ache in your chest began to ease to a fuzzy feeling and you shook your head. “No, no, Neteyam.” You couldn’t lose him. You couldn’t. You wouldn’t survive it.
“You’ll both be okay,” he breathed, his voice softer than a whisper as he dropped his hand to your stomach.
“I see you; I love you,” you told him, desperately trying not to cry and you pulled one of your hands from his chest to cup his jaw, your thumb tracing the dark line that decorated the arch of his cheek.
“I know, I—”
Neteyam never finished his sentence and his hand dropped from your stomach, leaving a bloody handprint in its wake.
You felt the moment he died.
The warmth, the comfort, the unmistakable feeling of him, fizzled out, replaced instead with an unshakeable feeling of emptiness.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
You were supposed to spend your life with him.
It was supposed to be you and him.
You and him.
You were lightheaded as you settled back on your haunches, your hands red with his blood and Lo’ak caught you as you swayed.
Numb.
The only way to describe the feeling was numb, like he had taken your soul with him when he died, leaving nothing but an empty shell in his wake.
And maybe he had.
The bond is beautiful, that’s what they tell you. But they never tell you of the anguish that comes with it.
You could separate your life into before Neteyam and after Neteyam. The before wasn’t important, it didn’t matter, because Neteyam was your world. He was your everything, your world spun on an axis of you and him. The People say you’re born twice, once when you are born and then again when you find your place among the people, and you were born again the day Neteyam chose you. And now all that was left of your mate was his bloody handprint and the world had the audacity to keep on spinning.
The ringing in your ears drowned out Neytiri’s blood curling scream for her first-born son, and you slouched into Lo’ak as you kept your eyes on Neteyam’s. His beautiful, golden, lifeless eyes.
You didn’t hear Jake ask Lo’ak where his sisters were. You didn’t hear Tsireya tell him they were on the ship. You didn’t hear Spider tell him to follow him. And you certainly didn’t hear Jake tell Lo’ak to stay and that he had done enough. You didn’t hear any of it as you kept looking at your mate, unable to pull your eyes away, no matter how painful it was.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
You only heard Lo’ak tell Tsireya he was going because he pulled back from you, jostling you enough to pull you from your trance to steady yourself. “Lo’ak, no,” she replied desperately, but there was no stopping him as he dove back into the water, leaving you alone with her and your mate’s dead body.
You didn’t know how long you two sat there in the silence, it could have been seconds or minutes or hours, before Tsireya broke it. “We should wash your hands,” she said softly.
You curled your hands into fists. You didn’t want to. Washing the blood off meant losing the only tangible part of your mate you had left. But you knew she was right, so you nodded and you moved on autopilot as she led you to the edge of the water. Your gaze was blank as she washed Neteyam’s blood off your hands, but you drew the line when she reached for your stomach.
“No,” you said sharply and gripped her wrist before she could touch you. Her ears went back as she nodded before she took your hand in hers as you sat back on the rock.  
You felt both empty and heavy at the same time as you sat there before Tsireya found her voice again. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, unsure of what else to say.
Your ears went back as you nodded, not trusting your voice. You opened and closed your mouth a few times before you looked over at her. “You and Lo’ak deserve better,” you whispered and touched your stomach, desperate to remind yourself of something worth living for.
Her ears went back even further as her shoulders dropped, but she followed your hand with her eyes. “He—” she started before she stopped herself. “Are you?” She asked instead.
You nodded again before you looked over at her with tears streaming down your cheeks. “I can’t do this on my own. I can’t do this without him.”
Her shoulders dropped as her ears went back again. She couldn’t imagine what you were feeling. “You won’t do this alone,” she told you softly. “You have the village behind you.”
You knew she only meant to comfort you, but her words only reminded you that Neteyam would never meet his child. “But I need him,” you whispered before you pulled your hand from her and pushed yourself away from the water’s edge.
Your heart broke all over again as you looked at your mate, laying there lifelessly, blood staining his beautiful blue skin. His eyes were still open as they stared at the sky above—at nothing. You couldn’t help the sob that escaped you as you looked at him before you reached out and softly closed his eyes. He’d look like he was sleeping, if not for all the blood.
But despite all the blood, you laid down next to him and gently put your head on his chest as you curled into him, your tail wrapping around his ankle.
His chest was silent and still and you wept into him, begging Eywa to give him back.
But she didn’t.
His chest never rose, his heart never beat, his skin never warmed, and his eys never opened.
He was gone.
Your beautiful mate was gone and there was nothing you could do to get him back.
--
The funeral was harder than you expected, having to say goodbye to his body as you, Jake and Neytiri lowered his body down to the Cove of the Ancestors. You knew that he was gone, that your mate was gone, that it was just a shell of his being, but you still wept, your tears burning your eyes more than the salt ever did.
Your lungs burnt as the air left you as you watched as the cove took his body, wrapping around him as it slowly consumed him, and just like that, he was gone, a piece of the ocean.
The way of water has no beginning and no end. The sea is around you and in you. The sea is your home, before your birth and after your death.
The first thing anyone heard when you resurfaced was your sob and you let Neytiri hug you as you sobbed into her shoulder. “My child,” she whispered as she held you close.
“It’s not fair,” you managed to get out between sobs.
“I know,” she whispered, her heart just as broken as yours.
Eywa holds all her children in her heart, but all you wanted was to hold him in your arms.
--
And if you thought the funeral was hard, visiting the Spirit Tree was even harder. Jake and Neytiri had gone soon after the funeral but took you days to get the courage to visit, to visit Neteyam.
Your tears disappeared into the salt water as you held your braid in your hand. Your heart ached in your chest, but slowly you let your tendrils connect with the Spirit Tree.
At first, all you felt was warmth as white consumed your vision, but then you were filled with the familiar view of the Forest, of your home. You smiled to yourself as you looked around, and just like that, Neteyam slipped out from between the trees, his battle belt and ikran eyewear on and your eyes watered as you looked at him, every bit the man you loved.
“Neteyam?” You asked and he smiled as he came around you, his tail wrapping around yours in a way he knew comforted you.
“Why are you crying, my mate?” He asked concerned he reached out to cup your jaw.
“I’m just happy to see you,” you told him breathlessly and you committed his smile to memory.
“I’m happy to see you, too, my mate,” he replied and you trailed your eyes over every mark on his body as your heart wept.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
Neteyam was your everything, your best friend, your lover, your mate, the father of your child.
From the moment his braid meant yours, you felt him. You felt him in a way no one else could and no one else would. You felt his being. And too soon you had felt him go.
Memories of you two as children, growing up, becoming teenagers, and falling in love, flashed before your eyes and you took water into your lungs as you sobbed, forcing yourself to pull back from the spirit tree and returned to the surface, one hand treading water as you held your stomach with the other.
A boy, you thought suddenly, the Tsahìk abilities you had been training for finally showing themselves. You were having a boy.
The bond is a beautiful thing, but it’s also the most painful thing you ever experienced, the beginning and end of everything, of all that you are.
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zmayadw · 3 years
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I totaly neglected my story posting :/ Shame on me!
So, here is next part, if anyone is still interested in reading :P
Have a nice evening! :)
Oh, and i guess i should mention, a slight warning - there is a little violence in this part, nothing serious, but still :P
CALL OF THE RAVEN
PART 20
Next morning it was actualy me that awoke first, Jake sleeping soundly. I snuck out fo the bed, tip toeing to the bathroom. I got dressed making as little noise as i could not to wake him. He could use some rest, finaly. I took the car keys sneaking out of the room. This time i will surprise him with coffee and breakfast. Driving to town, i tought of last night, smile coming to my face. Things wer going well, considering all. I parked the car, going for the coffe shop. I bough coffee and some croissants, and as i left the shop someone yelled my name. I turned and smiled „Hello, Phil.“ „Hey there gorgeous, you up early today.“ He said grining. It was early, just pass 7. I found it strange myself when i woke up, considering we came back at the motel late, and, well, all that followed after we did. I was sure i would sleep till late again. I smiled „Well, you know what they say about the early bird.“ „Indeed.“ He smiled back. „Well, good I ran into you, i need to talk to you anyway.“ „Oh, you do?“ i asked curiously. „But that can wait till later.“ He said, glancing at the coffees and croissants i was holding. „Dont want for loverboy to be waiting on you.“ I smiled akwardly. „Anyway, come to the Aurora later if you can, and i'll tell you all about it.“ „Alright, i will.“ I said. Phil chimed cheerfuly „Excellent! See you later then, gorgeous.“ I had no idea what Phil might need of me, but i was curious. Ugh, i groaned inside, Jake wont be too happy when i tell him about this. Hopefully, he figured out by now he has nothing to worry about considering Phil. All tho, i doubted the two of them will ever get allong well. Ah well, you cant have everything.
I parked back at the motel, taking the stuff out of the car and heading for the room. The moment i stepped inside, Jake was all over me. „What the hell, Maya!“ he almost yelled at me. „Well, good morning to you, too.“ I said, looking at him questioningly lovering the things i bought at the desk. „What wer you thinking?“ he asked me. „Uhm, well , coffee and breakfast mostly, but i somehow doubt that is the answer you want.“ „You are right about that.“ He said, frustration rising in his voice. „Was it so hard for you to take your phone with you?“ I winced at it a bit „Considering what almost happened last time i had my phone with me while driving, i would go with yes.“ He sighed „I get that, Maya, but what if something happend to you, how would i be able to find you?“ Crap, he had a point. „I'm sorry, Jake.“ I said. „I didnt think about that, dont be ma...“ I stopped abruptly. „Wait, wait,wait, what did you just say right now?“ „What?“ he asked. „You said 'find' “ I could literally hear the 'tick tick' of wheels in my brain as it hit me. „What did you do with my phone?!“ i asked. He was silent, and i knew i was right. „You are tracking my phone, arent you!?“ i said, squinting my eyes at him. „Fine! Yes, I am tracking your phone!“ he said, throwing his arms up with frustration. „You could have told me!“ He sighed desperatly „I know, but i didnt want to get you bothered with it. You had enough on your mind already.“ „Jake“ i said going to him, putting my hands arround his neck. „You need to tell me stuff like that. Im not mad you did it, its kinda cute.“ I smiled, making him smile back at me. „But“ i started serious „From now on, no more secrets. I want you to promise me you will tell me everything.“ „Alright, i promise.“ „Good.“ I said, giving him a kiss. „Now, can we eat, im actually pretty hungry.“ i chimed cheerfuly. He chuckled at me, taking the bag with croissants. He took one out, turning to me with a raised eyebrow „I can see that. There's this suspiciously looking croissant here thats missing a part.“ „Oops“ i said, taking it from his hand, grinning „Couldn't resist.“
I basicly devoured three croissants, sitting on the bed with my laptop. Jake was behind his laptop at the desk doing 'his stuff'. I took a sip of my coffe „I ran into Phil when in town, by the way.“ He straightend in the chair, turning to me „Oh, yeah?“ „Yes. He wants me to come to Aurora later, he said he wants to talk to me.“ „About what?“ he asked. „Thats what i will find out when i see him.“ „So, you decided already you will go.“ He said, squirming in his chair. „Ofcourse i will go, why wouldnt I?“ i asked. Jake was even more squirmy now, i chuckled inside. „I dont know.“ He siad. I grined „Are you getting jelous again?“ „No, i'm not!“ he replied, quickly turning back to his laptop. „Oh, you soooo are!“ i said laughing. I so liked teasing him. „Shut up.“ He said, throwing the empty croissant bag rolled in a ball at me. „Heeey, its not nice throwing stuff at others, mister.“ I said teasingly. „Stop distracting me then.“ „Fine, fine, be all serious.“ He looked sideways at me, and i stuck my toung to him. „You're impossible.“ He said. „I tought i was amazing.“ He chuckled „I might have gotten ahead of me with saying that.“ „Oy!“ i protested, throwing a pillow at him. He turned to me and crossed his arms at his chest „Mhm, its not fun, beaing teased at, right?“ He grinned. I squinted my eyes at him „Touché.“ He turned back to his laptop. „Ok, joking aside, you are welcome to come with me to Aurora later, if that would make you feel better.“ I told him. He turned back to me „You know what? I just might do that.“ I was surprised. I didnt mind him coming along, just didnt expect him to actualy say yes. „Alright then, its settled.“ Oh boy, this will be fun.
We parked at Aurora, and leaivng the car Jake said to me „I'll join you shortly, there's something i want to do.“ „Umm, alright.“ I said „Can i ask what it is?“ He just grined „You'll see later.“ He sat back in the car and drove off. I was left confused walking towards Aurora. Phil was sitting at the booth when i entered, turning towards me at the sound of doors opening. He smiled at me with his usual grin „Hello, gorgeous.“ „Hey Phil.“ I smiled back, joining him. There was a bunch of papers in front of him. „Hope i didnt catch you at a bad time.“ I asked, him smiling at me „Dont worry, gorgeous, i could use a break anyway, i cant add one plus one anymore staring at all this numbers.“ He got up, ushering me to sit „Want something to drink?“ he asked, adding with a wink „I have a fresh pot of coffee waiting.“ I grinned „You know me so well.“ „Hey, i'm just glad i'm not the only coffee addict around here.“ he said with a grin before leaving. His phone rang as he left, so it took him a while before he came back. „Sorry, gorgeous, business call.“ He said, putting a coffee cup infront of me and sitting down. He leaned in the booth „I was sure that 'loverboy' would come with you.“ „Huh, well you wer right, he will join us soon.“ He laughed „Does he feel that much threatened by me?“ I looked at him, groaning desperatly „Phil..“ „Dont worry, gorgeous, i'll behave.“ He grinned. „As much as possible.“ He added winking at me. „Oh, im sure you will.“ I said, shaking my head at him. I took a sip of coffee „So, what was it that you wanted to talk to me?“ „Ahh, straight to business, right?“ he said to me. „Well, i am curious about it, so, come on, out with it.“ I grinned at him. „Alright, alright“ he said. „I have a business proposition for you.“ „You do?“ i looked surprised at him. „Indeed.“ „Alright, and what is it about?“ i asked. „Well, you do draw and designe, right?“ he asked, and i nodded. „I would like you to do a new design for t-shirts and some other stuff for Aurora.“ I was surprised by it. „You do?“ „Ofcourse.“ He said. „Why look so surprised by it, gorgeous?“ he asked with a smile. „Umm, well, dont get me wrong, I am flattered by it, but i'm sure there is someone better then me for it.“ Phil shook his head at me „Let me tell you something, gorgeous.“ He started, looking serious at me. „When it comes to work, i dont choose lightly.“ I still wasnt convinced. „And, besides, you can thank the 'all mighty internet' here.“ He said grining at me. „ You think i didnt chek up your skills before offering this to you?“ He wasnt wrong, i was good at what i did. „Alright“ i started „I appreciate it, really, but i have to decline.“ Phil looked dissapointed „Why? And dont give me some crap answer, Maya.“ „Well, honestly, i cant accept because i couldnt charge you for it.“ „And why not? Because we're friends?“ he said, and i nodded. „Its business, gorgeous, of course it comes with payement.“ „True, but i just wouldnt feel right doing it, Phil.“ I said desperatly. I added after a moment of silence „I could do it as a favore, tho, that would sound better to me.“ Phil looked at me serious for a moment, before his eyes sparkled and he grinned „Alright, how about this: you do it anyway, but instead of me paying you, i make you a special deal.“ I raised my eyebrow at him „And what special deal that might be?“ He laughed „ Dont worry, gorgeous, its nothing dirty, as you might think.“ He winked, smiling devilishly. I rolled my eyes at him „I havent tought of something like that.“ I said sarcasticly, but it actually did cross my mind. „ Ofcourse you didnt.“ Phil said, rising his eyebrow. „Well, what that special 'deal' is then?“ i asked. He grinned „ You get to drink for free here from now on.“ I laughed „You really will try anything to get me to accept it, arent you?“ „Hey, its a good deal, gorgeous. You have no clue how manny people would gladly take that kind of the offer.“ He said to me winking. „Allright, Phil“ i said after a momet „You convinced me, I'll do it.“ „Excellent!“ he chimed cheerfully, rubbing his hands together. He got up „I
think we need to seal this with a drink!“ I laughed „Ofcourse you do.“ The door of the Aurora opened then, and we both turned to see Jake walking in. He came to the booth, not taking his eyes from Phil, and Phil doing exactly the same. „Perfect timing, loverboy.“ Phil said „We wer just about to celebrat.“ He winked at me, leaving the booth. Jake looked at me, and i saw annoyance in him from Phils behaviour. He growled sitting next to me „Do i still have to behave arround Phil? I havent punched anyone in a long time, but i'm sure i still remember how to do it.“ I shook my head at him „Yes, you still have to behave.“ I grined leaning for a kiss „And, if you ever want to see me naked again, no punching, either!“ He raised his eyebrow at me after we kissed „You are taking away all the fun from me.“
Phil came back settling three glasses and a bottle of whiskey at the table. „So, did she tell you the good news already?“ he asked Jake, filling the glasses up. „No, she didnt.“ Jake replied, turning to me now. I sighed „Phil offered me a job.“ „Did he, now.“ Jake said, turning to look back at Phil. „Ofcourse i did.“ He said and grinned. „Our girl here is quite talented at her work.“ He handed us the glasses, taking his and rising it towards me. „Here's to you, gorgeous.“ I glanced at Jake, him being suprisingly calm to Phils words. He took a sip from his glass, settling it down. Me? I finished mine in one gulp. This calmness of his got me worried. „Whoa, easy there gorgeous.“ Phil said to me chuckling. „Could you stop calling her that?“ Jake said to Phil, his eyes darkening. Phil leaned back in the booth „What? Gorgeous?“ he said, giving Jake a grin „But she is, so why not say it.“ „Oh, for the love of it.“ I said, taking the bottle and filling my glass again. They both continued staring at eachother, completly ignoring me. „Phil“ Jake started, sounding calm but his voice so sinister „I promised Maya i'll behave, and i really dont want to break that promise.“ „Oh, relax loverboy, i'm just messing with you.“ Phil told him back, grining. „But let me just say this to you“ he started, taking the bottle to refill all the glasses, looking smug at Jake. „I know your type, I've seen it manny times before. Eventualy, you will mess up with her. And when you do, i will be right here waiting.“ And that was it - Jakes fist flew to Phils face, sending him sprawling on the floor from the booth. I basicly jumped over the table, glasses spilling all over and on me, making myself stand in front of Jake, as he shot up from his seat to go for Phil again. „Stop it!“ i shouted at him, but he looked so furios at Phil. His eyes wer so dark, and he was breathing so fast. I wasnt sure he even aknowledged I was standing in front of him. He wanted to push through me for Phil, i had to use all my strenght to try and push him back . I never saw him like this before, it got me frighten. „Please, Jake!“ I yelled once more pleadingly. He looked at me. The shock that was shown on my face made him tense, his eyes opening wide. „Shit!“ he said, turning from me, and storming towards the doors. I just stood there, taking a deep breath to calm myself as Jake left Aurora. I turned to Phil „What the fuck, Phil! You just had to do it?“ i yelled at him furiously. Phil just grined at me „Sorry gorgeous, i was just being honest, as always.“ „You just wanted to provoke him!“ „Look, Maya“ Phil started, getting up from the floor. „I meant what i said. He will mess things up eventualy, i can bet you. He will end up hurting you.“ „No, he wont!“ i continued yelling at him „You know nothing about him! And if you hoped provoking him will make me care less for him, you wer wrong!“ I took a few more deep breaths calming myself down once more. „And 'friends' dont wish for other friends to end up miserable.“ I said my voice taking on a sad notch. Phil winced at my words. „Thanks, Phil, thanks a lot.“ I said, turning away from him heading for the doors.
Stepping outside i wanted to scream in frustration. Like i didnt have enough happening in my life already. Jake was nervously pacing back and forth next to the car, stopping as he saw me. He walked towards me. „I'm sorry, i'm so, so sorry!“ he said to me. „I shouldnt have let him provoke me.“ He started pacing nervously again in fron of me. „Jake, it's fine.“ I said, but he didnt hear me. „He's just so annoying, i just couldnt control myself anymore!“ „Jake, it's alright.“ I tried again, but he just continued. „And talking to you like that? He has no right! Who does he think he is?“ „Jake!“ i yelled at him, making him stop and look at me. „It's fine.“ I said again, finaly having his attention. „It is?“ he asked, looking surprised. „Yes. He did kinda deserve it.“ I told him. „I tought you would be furious.“ he said to me, still surprised. „Oh, i am.“ I started „I'm not a fan of this things happeneing, just to make it clear to you. And to be honest, i should have forseen something like this happening, i shouldnt have let you come with me, so im furios at myself, too“ i said. My face got all serious then „You got me worried there for a moment.“ He looked at me, worry creeping to his face. „You didnt get scared of me, Maya..did you?“ he asked, his voice insecure a bit. „No, Jake, i didnt.“ I said „But i was scared I wont be able to stop you.“ He took a deep breath. „Maya, because of you, is why i stopped.“ I smiled at him, embracing him in a hug, leaning my head on his chest „I told you i will be your 'helping hand'.„ „Yes, you did.“ He smiled. „And I am sorry I did this.“ „Dont worry about it.“ I said, looking back at him, grinning „ I would have punched him myself if he continued like that, either way.“ Jake laughed at it „I can totally picture you do it.“ „I know, right!?“ i exclimed cheerfully, and he leaned to me for a kiss. As the kiss ended i asked „Can we go now, please, i just want to leave here.“ He smiled at me, hugging me with one hand, and we started walking back to the car. „You and me, both.“ Jake unlocked the car, and i went to the other side to get in. I opened the doors, and tensed. I sat in, turning to Jake, fear creeping at me. „Jake, are you going somewhere?“ He turned to me, confused „What are you talking about?“ I glanced at the back seat, a black traveling bag there. He chuckled at me „Relax, Maya, its just some clean clothes i took.“ .“ I sighed relieved, for a moment there i thought the worst. He looked at me raising his eyebrow „I am mostly with you at the motel, and i doubt any of your shirts would fit me.“ „Oh i dont know, i think that pink lace tank top of mine would fit you perfectly.“ I said teasingly. He laughed, shaking his head at me „Pink is definitely NOT my color.“
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liberolove · 4 years
Text
Testing the Waters (pt. 2)
Summary: youve finally graduated high school and now youre moving on to college. youve decided to go to sendai university. its summer and youve become curious about checking out the dating pool in miyagi, so you download a dating app. you figure you might as well have fun before delving too deep into your studies
Part: [part two] out of ???
Pairings: nishinoya x reader / kuroo x reader / oikawa x reader / kiyoko x reader
A/N: theres tons of ships here, just me living out my hoe phase lmao please dont judge me. let me know what yall think
Genre: fluff, smut, crack
Warnings: flirting, college shinanigans
It’s been three days since the last time you saw Yuu. Gosh, even saying his name to yourself gave you goosebumps. You two have been texting non stop and honestly, it felt so refreshing. You were a pretty bad texter but he knew how to keep the conversation going. 
One of his favorite things to do was play 21 questions with you. He wasn’t like those fuckboys who would use this opportunity to ask you if you were a virgin or what your favorite position was. Yuu was different. He came up with the craziest scenarios and judged you on the way you answered. One time he asked you how you would escape a 300 lb lion that just broke out of the zoo you were visiting. You honestly had no idea how to respond but eventually you replied, 
“I’d make sure to run with a crowd and ‘accidentally’ trip a slow runner so that the lion could get distracted and probably (most likely) attack them. This would buy me some time to get the hell out there.”
This response caught Noya off guard but he loved the way you thought. You continued to come up with barbaric schemes to survive all the scenarios he would throw at you. He kept you guessing and that was what you liked so much about him. He was wild and so were you.
You were getting a little impatient over your next date so you took a deep breath and eventually asked him.
Y/N: Heeey, Yuu. I was wondering when you’d like to go out again. I’d really like to go out with you again.
Nishinoya Yuu: hey cutie! I’ve been wanting to see you again but I haven’t had any days off from work lately.. (; ・`д・´) IM DYING!! I just wanna see yoouuuuu
Y: Aw man.. :( That sucks. When do you think you’ll get your next day off?
N: idk tbh but hopefully it’s soon!!
Y: no worries, just let me know.
N: will do!!
Well, that was that. Now you wondered what you should do to pass the time. You were bored again and needed something to do. “Oh wait. I should check the app. I haven’t checked since I messaged Yuu on there. Maybe I have more matches.”
You opened up the app and you had 10 notifications. You had gotten some likes on the selfie you posted and several people viewed your profile. You checked who looked at your profile, and it was mostly ugly, older, men. “Gross,” you thought to yourself. Besides this, you noticed some new messages. 
You opened up the first message. 
“Hey sexy! Wanna come see me play? Click my link https://…..”
“Damn bots. So annoying.” You deleted the message. Next message:
“DTF?”
“I mean like yeah, but you could’ve been less forward in your message. What a turn off..” You had one last notification left. Maybe it wouldn’t be a let down.
“Are you made of Fluorine, Iodine, and Neon? 'Cause you are F-I-Ne.”
To be honest, this pick up line did make you giggle a little. You checked out the profile of the mysterious stranger who sent it and you were surprised that it was a bulked up biker. And damn, was he hot as hell. 
Tumblr media
His hair stood up in an organized, weird bed head kind of way. It made him look like a rooster. Rather than smile in his photos, he smirked. And his eyes looked like he could undress you solely with his gaze. He looked like your typical bad boy, but that didn’t make sense. Why would he use a chemistry pick up line?
This made you become even more interested, so you replied back with another cheesy pick up line.
Y/N: I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.
Kuroo Tetsuro: Hey, kitten. I thought you’d never reply. You had me waiting.
Y: umm??? calling me kitten already?
K: What’s wrong? Are you flustered already? We haven’t even met up yet.
Y: woah there cowboy! hold your horses
K: I’m not a cowboy, but I’ll gladly have you ride me instead.
Y: skskskks i cant even-
K: Sorry. Too much?
Y: YES TOO MUCH
K: Alright. Let me start over. Ahh, a fellow chemist, I presume?
Y: yeaaah, kind of. I have a love/hate relationship with chemistry.
K: Is that so? Maybe I can help with that.
Y: oh really? how so?
K: I am a chemistry major after all. I go to Sendai. Do you go to school?
Y: uhhh i’m going to start there in the fall. I still haven’t decided what to major in, just yet.
K: Maybe you’ll end up being a chemistry major like me and I can give you private one on one lessons? 
Y: I highly doubt that, but nice try. 
K: Have you gotten a tour of the campus yet? Or are you waiting for freshman orientation?
Y: nah, I haven’t seen all of it yet. 
K: Would you like to?
Y: um sure! When are you free for my private tour? (:
K: How about tomorrow in the morning? Maybe around 9am? I can pick you up too if you’d like.
Y: Sounds good and no thanks. I’m not riding on that motorcycle! Looks scary :(
K: Don’t worry, kitten. I’ll drive safely and make sure nothing happens to you.
Y: there you go again.
K: Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. No, but really. I don’t mind picking you up. Have you ever been on a motorcycle before?
Y: nope
K: Then, let’s change that. Send me your address tomorrow morning. And get some rest.
Y: alrighty it’s a plan then!
K: No. It’s a date.
Y: sksksk omg
After that conversation, all you could think about was how the hell did you get into this mess? Motorcycles are dangerous, yet this rooster convinced you so easily to take a ride with him.. 
It was an understatement to say that you were nervous for tomorrow.
You set an alarm for 7 am the next day and went to bed.
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Your alarm woke you up and you immediately remembered why you were awake so early. You rushed into the shower and once you were out, you spent 30 minutes deciding on what to wear. You opted for some black, ripped skinny jeans and a white v-neck t-shirt. 
At 8am on the dot, your phone’s notification bell went off. It was Kuroo.
“What’s your address, baby?”
You sent him the details and continued getting ready. You put on some light makeup and brushed your hair. You checked the time, and it was already 8:55 am. Then, your phone went off again.
“I’m outside.”
Your heart almost beat out of your chest. You grabbed your purse and put on some chapstick. You know, just in case..
You locked up your apartment and walked down the stairs. You were greeted by the biggest shit eating grin on the sexiest man you’d ever seen. You never went for the bad boys but college is a time for experimenting. 
“Hey, Y/N. You ready to ride? I brought an extra helmet for you.”
“Hi, Kuroo. And yeah, I guess,” your voice shook as you replied. You were really nervous but you tried to hide it.
“Don’t worry, baby. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ll keep you safe.”
His words made you melt and you had just met him. The way he cooed at you and looked your way made you blush. You felt your cheeks get hotter by the second.
“Alright. Hop on and hold on to my waist. Hold on tight or else you’re gonna fly away when I take off. Okay?”
“..okay..” you managed to mutter. You were shaking but you put on the helmet he gave you and lifted up your leg to sit on the metal machine. You slowly hugged Kuroo from behind and held on as tight as you could. Your head was smashed right up against his large, broad back.
“Ready?” he asked.
“..yeah,” you squeaked.
Before you finished saying this, he had taken off like the devil was chasing him. If this was his meaning of safe driving, you didn’t want to find out his meaning of reckless driving.
The ride to Sendai University only took about 5 minutes, when realistically it would take 20 minutes by bus. You arrived and Kuroo teased, “are you going to let go, kitty?”
You hadn’t realized you were still gripping onto him for dear life. You released him from your hold and your hands still tingled from the amount of force you applied to his shirt. “Sorry!”
“No worries. Hey, look! I brought you here alive. Aren’t you glad?” he cackled. 
His laugh sounded like a dying hyena but it did sound a little cute at the same time. “Yeah. Thank goodness. Your driving is insane, dude.”
He showed you all over campus, from the administrative buildings to the gymnasium, to the fields. Sendai was a pretty big campus, and it made you glad that you had a personal guide to show you all the different buildings. 
After your little tour was over, he asked, “wanna grab a bite to eat? I’ll be a gentleman and pay for you too.”
Of course, you couldn’t say no to food. Much less, FREE FOOD! You nodded and got ready to ride the devil’s machinery again.
He took you to a nearby sushi bar. “Order whatever you’d like, princess. Today, I want to spoil you rotten.”
You melted at his words and also at the variety of rolls on the menu. You didn’t ask him if he really meant that you could order anything. You just kind of went for it. You ordered everything from shrimp tempura, to octopus, to eel. Sushi was your favorite and being told that you could order everything was a dream come true.
“Damn, girl! I had no idea you had such a huge appetite!  I didn’t know you’d take me seriously on my offer. You’re gonna run my pockets dry.”
You blushed and looked away. “Sorry, Kuroo. I really couldn’t help myself. I love sushi so much.”
“I’m just teasing you, baby. You deserve to be treated like this everyday.”
You had no idea how to respond so you just kept stuffing your face with sushi.
After you finally had your fill, it was time to go home. It was getting late. Kuroo took you home and you were definitely more relaxed this time on the bike. 
“I hope you had a great time today, kitty. And I hope I met your standards.”
“Yes, I did! Thank you so much, Kuroo! This was honestly so much fun. Thanks for everything.”
“Of course. Nothing but the best for you. I just need one little favor from you, baby.”
“Oh? What is it?”
“Can I get a kiss from your soft lips? I know you want to. I saw the way you kept staring at me, today.”
“Oh.. uhh.. Y-yea-yeah. Sure, of course.. Yeah,” you stammered. 
You looked at him with soft, shy eyes and before you knew it, he leaned in quickly and kissed you on the lips. Your eyes were wide open in surprise but as he deepened the kiss, your eyes slowly shut.
The kiss felt like electricity coursing through your body. You didn’t know what it was, but this man definitely already had you wrapped around his long, slender finger. 
As soon as you realized his hold on you, he backed off, and left you wanting more. He was such a tease.
“I can’t just let you have everything today, kitten. I need you wanting more.”
You didn’t know what to respond so you looked down at the ground shyly. 
“I’ll message you later, y/n. Don’t make me wait too long, again.”
You waved and muttered, “Thank you, Kuroo.”
He revved up his bike and was gone in seconds.
You remained in a daze as you walked back up to your apartment. Once you got inside, you plopped down on your couch and released a long sigh. “Who knew that college was going to be so exciting..”
[link to kuroo pic i found]
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plainvanillapotato · 4 years
Text
the 100 diaries S1 E5
quarantine diaries: may 23 2020
season 1 episode 5: “Twilight’s Last Gleaming”
is the title a reference to the american anthem? cuz if so remember fergie? 
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bet you wish you could go back to those good old days
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anyway back to the show
finn and clarke. its a cute ship but i dont think that its endgame especially with raven coming down to stir the pot but also because i’ve read some of y’alls urls...
population reduction. nice way to say mass murder. 
what are the actual odds that raven would actually land close to where the 100 is at? cuz i have a feeling its not high but plot i guess
for someone is really about hope and being optimistic clarke really said why would i wish on a shooting star “its just a rock burning up in the atmosphere”
*after seeing raven’s pod enter the atmosphere* “please tell me they brought down some shampoo”- a girl that bellamy is sleeping with...I am this girl and this girl is me. Cuz homegirl is asking the real-life questions. like do they have toilet paper what about pads or tampons i assume no and umm big yikes. but when we all panic bought toilet paper wow that was only a couple of weeks ago. also what these kids really need are some goddamn condoms. cuz from what i’ve seen they are not fit to be parents.
these fools out here thinking that the ark is dropping supplies but its just raven very horny for finn. little does she know about finn and clark. is this a train wreak waiting to happen yes think so...uh oh spaghettios
clarke watching finn and raven reunite big awkward 
also can we please talk about how raven literally crash landed but her eyebrows are still on fleek. i could never.
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love how octavia calls bellamy “bell”--> please tell me that someone has photoshopped bellamy’s face on bell body from beauty and the beast if so please reblog with the image cuz i need it in my life
bellamy cutting out the radio and throwing it in the creek-->once again bellamy proves that he’s out here just to save his own skin but ok yeah i understand it like ngl i would do the same
i dont understand thelonious. one episode he’s like no kane who the tf do you think you are? you can’t go around and kill people and then in this episode he’s like ok so imma kill myself and leave you in charge :/
abby negging theloniuous to not kill himself...wow now i see where clarke gets it
oh Octavia...im clumsy too.
maybe its because im rewatching atla but bellamy talking about how jaha deserved to die reminds of jet and the freedom fighters. it might also be because bellamy’s hair in this episode is a lot like jet’s. 
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see... jet vibez
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i know in one of my other posts i compared bellamy to zuko but as of rn he’s more of a jet (charming yet ruthless leader of a group of kids) especially back to whatever episode where he did a speech about privilege and wanting the upper class to do the work for once--> very reminisce of Jet and the freedom fighters. both bellamy and jet are very bitter towards those in power because they did wrong toward their family members. BUT also season 1 of avatar where jet is willing kill a village just to get rid of the fire nation is similar to bellamy wanting everyone to take off their wristbands despite clarke’s warning about how the need the aid of the ark to survive
and yes im aware of the comparison between bellarke but zutara now idk about that because zutara holds a special place in my heart. honest to god there was so much parallels between the two (twin flames) and foreshadowing you can’t convince that the two are not soulmates. i’ll wait and see tho
abby really released the video that she essentially killed her husband for creating. ok. and then she pretend that the council was the one responsible for his death when she was the person that gave him up. playing the hero when you’re actually the villain
aww the dad is gonna voluntarily die to help his daughter...my heart
side note: what is the life expectancy of people on the arc cuz the oldest person i’ve seen (kane’s mom) could not have been older than 75
wow they really didn’t see the signal from earth great. just great. is it just me or is how they killed the people on the ark remind you of gas chambers? idk this episode was very sad and depressing for me
also now clarke wants to wish on a star? is that character development or is she just salty about finn and raven?
fuck....Octavia is dead that or i predict that she becomes the princess of grounders kind like how princess leia was taken in by the ewoks (and before anyone gets any ideas no I do not consider grounders as lesser beings if anything i think that they are superior to the spacers i’m just spewing out random shit)
also major side note: where the hell is this asian lady on the ark. the last i saw of her was the pilot episode so where is she?? did they cut out of the story??!
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....i was very curious and annoyed so i looked it up and yes. they did fucking cut her out. wtf did they really just bait me with diversity in the pilot. I’m honestly mad because as an Asian american i like to see representation which is why i was so happy to see female asian american on screen when i watched the pilot. now im angry. while i know that diversity is not a big deal to some people it is to me and i really don’t appreciate the 100 showing all these diverse faces in pilot to only to just cut them out of the show. seriously wtf (monty better have a badass storyline) 
don’t worry i’ll keep watching the show and blogging but rn im just really disappointed in the show. like really please don’t dangle diversity in my face when you’re just gonna snatch it away
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no-no-no-ahhhh · 4 years
Text
I'm having bad anxiety so I'm just going to answer these questions rn
Okay so when having anxiety I over think and I barely have any friends so I thought if using these questions to keep my mind off things and it kinda works it's also why some are long because I'm trying my best to think about other things then my stress. Maybe some of yall can try this if you want. Could help idk
Questions belong to @tr33-g1rl
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?
Soda cans
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
I LOVE chocolate bro
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
Cotton candy because let's all be honest bubble gum doesn't even tast good so that just leaves texture and cotton candy dissolves abs you could always have normal gum
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
Some would say nice hard working smart and dyslexic but that's what they say not actually think
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?
I've never really had the soda bottles but for now Ig soda cans because I feel like it keeps it fresher then the plastic and plastic is bad
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
Umm out of all these ig tomboy my style that I try to go for more rn is kinda like bille eyelash baddie style
7. earbuds or headphones?
Def earbuds cuz headphones if left on too long start hurting and squeezing my head
8. movies or tv shows?
TV shows 100% I cant consum media for long (my anxiety)so cartoons are the best for me because they're usually 11 minutes and light hearted
9. favorite smell in the summer?
Hmm this is good question in my head summer looks so good ahh but I've never really had a sent for it cuz the past few years I've been in my room but I love the sun oh and you know when your about to go in the pool and you can smell the Clorox mixed with the sun block and that smell just smells like a soft nice energy and there is this one tropical sent havent really smelt it in years I remember the one time I got to smell it was in middle school in the girls locker room so ig it was a perfume idk if it was really associated with summer or it was just tropical perfume my mom could spray on anytime of the year
10. game you were best at in p.e.?
Lol none I hated p.e I was also pretty tall at the time so people expected me to play but I just wanted to hide in the corner
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?
Well I don't really like breakfast that much I think food in the morning makes me nauseous but I have to eat it cuz I can't eat school lunch food cuz that shit is nasty but breakfast school food is 😉 so I usually get banana bread and good ass duch chocolate milk
12. name of your favorite playlist?
Por Vida is one of my favorite albums if that counts
13. lanyard or key ring?
I hate things being around my neck so key ring
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
Mexican candy
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
The outsiders
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
Your butt relaxing ig and not hunched over idk how some people do their work not hunched over like how do you see what your working on
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?
These white Adidas with 3 halo strips and tan boots
18. ideal weather?
To wear you can soak in the sun but not have it burn you right when you go outside and kinda breezy not a fan of the cold and whatever weather that isn't effected by global warming is the best
19. sleeping position?
I always try not to sleep on my back cuz then they say that the demons come for you
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
I have a lot of journals and books to write
21. obsession from childhood?
My little pet shops, barbies, fnaf, teen titans, monster high dolls, beanie babes, never brats or the ever after high dolls cuz I had a fear of big heads as a kid
22. role model?
Em their are not many people to look up to these days but Quenlin Blackwell is even though she struggles with depression and seasonal depression she still is a qween love her
23. strange habits?
24. favorite crystal?
Hmm maybe amethyst one of the only ones I have
25. first song you remember hearing?
No idea
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
Be in the sun
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
Not have the seasonal depression come for me
38. lemonade or tea?
Lemonade bro tea is kinda weak and for BrItish blocks , but today I did have a bunch of lemons and they got me sick cuz I dont have a healthy balanced diet if anybody knows simple healthy recipes that have little to no cooking pls share
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
I've never actually have had lemon pie but I have been thinking about making pie. I've had peacon pie and water burger apple pie and McDonald's apple pie and I think another fast food pie but I can't remember the flavor. I know the other flavor exist because my mom order a different pie flavor from me once and she said we can both try each others. Maybe it was lemon. I think lemon tast is quit forgettable thow idk I always put other things on my lemon and lemonade has all that sugar and speaking of Britain I think they carbonate their lemons . But I think I've only had lemon cake 2 times , so if the cake
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
School is lame and that's on period pooh
41. last person you texted?
Umm this girl I barely know and I'm going to leave it at that cuz this story makes me kinda sad and worried and I'm answering these questions to avoid that
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
Hmm good question , I think jacket because they are bigger and girl Jean's have the pockets different to make the booty look better and sometimes that leads to uncomfortable pockets and front pockets barely exit for girls and jackets sometimes have those secret pockets only you have assess too like the ones on the inside and jacket pockets are bigger
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
1. hoodies are good for when you dont have a bra on and they come with one BIG pocket and you dont need to worry about a shirt
2. Leather jackets are for cool kidz and carry a nice vibe and still thick enough to keep you warm , but you can't really get them wet I think so you can't wash em , but they can come with cool designs on the back but their better fitted on perfectly on a person and if you grow they just look odd on you then you have to buy another and that's not fun
3.Bomber jacket , it's a whole style but one I try to pull of but just cant do it well
4.Cardigans kinda umm not a fan but good if your wearing a dress that's shows your shoulders and you are insecure about that being shown. Remember when somewhere in the 2000s they told us that cardigans where so easy to put on and throw more into your outfit so people bought quit a few. I do
5.I feel like jeans jackets aren't warm enough maybe their more for the summer?
44. favorite scent for soap?
Hmm maybe something tropical or just those cool lavender ones that have oats that's cool I like oats in my soap
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
I hate sci-fi uhhhg and super hero kinda ties in with that so fantasy and when reading fan fic just sweet simple domestic fluff
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
Hmm not sure but the shirt has to be soft. I only experience soft shirts like that few times in my life
47. favorite type of cheese?
Mexican cheese and blue cheese uhg and mozzarella with that crust, yum🤤
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Errrum maybe a watermelon cuz they are very hydrated. Oh and watermelon with the big black seeds is better then that soul less watermelon
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
None dawg I really need to find one but I do have a lot written down In a book
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
Omg my aunt had some funny looking ass dogs I couldn't stop laughing. One of her dogs hate me tho now
51. current stresses? I dont want to talk about it cuz I dont want to worry but I was crying for more then 6 hours probably 8 when I think about it and then today as well and it's so bad I'm not even going to school
52. favorite font? I like the one kali uchis uses in one of her albums I think it's called fairy tell or something
53. what is the current state of your hands?pretty dry cuz I wash them alot and kinda long nails cuz of genetics
54. what did you learn from your first job?
I havent had a first job
55. favorite fairy tale?
Hmmm something with the tooth fairy
56. favorite tradition?
Idk holidays cuz I get school off
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
Depression and I would say anxiety but no
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
I dont have any talents
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
Uuuuyg idk too stressed to really think that I dont even know what type of video game I would be in
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
nothing stressful maybe something calm like a farm anime, some light magic, pokemon things like that
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
I was never ment to live life like a sim - megan the stallion
62. seven characters you relate to?
Anybody with anxiety, kinda pearl from Steven universe, the nerdy part of dipper from gravity falls , Roman from sander sides if virgil too sense he has anxiety okay and that's all I can think of I think early I said I dont really watch media or stuff so yeah
63. five songs that would play in your club?
Gosolina kali uchis songs and bank account that's all I can think about rn
64. favorite website from your childhood?64. favorite website from your childhood?
Y8 brooo oh and there was Disney or Nickelodeon websites you know that show with the hands and they had the googly eyes they had a g as new for that loved it and for Disney they had zack and cody games on their website and it's not a website but the one thing on windows that would work without wifi you know and you could make cakes and give them faces and try matching the cards
65. any permanent scars?
One time a cat scratched me more the like 8 years ago and I can still faintly see the mark
66. favorite flower(s)?
The one that grows on the cactus
67. good luck charms?
I know a rabbits foot is one and 4 leaf clovers,and markipliers flannel. I sadly dont have any personal good luck charms
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
I don't want to talk about bad foods rn cut the cameras
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
idk I think I can vaguely remember every facts orgin that I know
70. left or right handed?
Basic right handed but my dad used to be left but then the school forced him to be right
71. least favorite pattern?
Anything 80s uhg that shit is disgusting and terrifying
72. worst subject?
Chemistry but I just got out of that so that's fun
73. favorite weird flavor combo?
People day hot cheetos and sour cream is odd but I like it . I would wat some rn but I think I got sick cuz of my poor diet so I'm not. Someone pls suggested simple easy foods for your girl who can cook
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
1 I am big baby
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
I dont know
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
Tater tots are good and fries
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
Idk no green thumb
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
Idk ig coffee
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
Jewel tones
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
Theirs a difference?
82. pc or console?
Console it's just simpler
83. writing or drawing?
Uhhheg ig drawing I'm bad at grammar
84. podcasts or talk radio?
Podcast, podcast are just more plans out then talk radio and talk radio is a morning thing and I'm not the biggest fan of mornings
85. fairy tales or mythology?
Fairy tales mythology kinda ruff ya know
86. cookies or cupcakes?
Cookies their just more sturdy and their is always normal cake
87. your greatest fear?
Tooo many things and I'm having an anxiety attack right now so like no
88. your greatest wish?
Well it's cute and all idk to live peacefully is one part the other parts a secret for now
X.o.x.o gossip girl ya know ya love me
89. who would you put before everyone else?
Umm maybe myself Idk
90. luckiest mistake?
One time my mom ordered a foam sord for my brother and a real one came. It was some anime sword
91. boxes or bags?
Bags cuz they look cute and you can take em every where with you. Disposable I would have to say boxes tho because its less damaging to the environment
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
Sunlight is so warm and it fills something inside of me makes me feel cozy
Lamps are great for when sleeping and your scared of the dark
Fairy lights are cute but are they neccessary
Overhead lights are good for when you just need light in your life
Am I the only one who gets sad and sometimes cant clean if it's dark in the house?
94. favorite season?
Summer I think. I know it's harder for me to function in the winter cuz depression but then summer is anxiety sometimes ya know
95. favorite app on your phone?
Littetly no idea I don't really love/like the things on my phone if their more distractions or time wasters but I do love how I can search up useful things on YouTube to try to calm down my anxiety and I was definitely not a fan of tumblr at all but I kind have made it my safe place a bit
96. desktop background?
Well the computers my dad's so it has deadpool on i
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
Barely 2 ,I am kinda a dummy sorry unggv
98. favorite historical era?
Well idk heehaww cowboys?
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andiwantitliao-blog · 5 years
Text
Kaitlyn x MC (AU). Its set at highschool where kaitlyn and MC meet for the first time.
All characters are mine other than kaitlyn.
-----
The New Girl. Part 2
Charlotte sat down to dinner with her mum and brother. Pushing the food around her plate, she was still thinking of what Laura had said earlier that day. She couldn't believe that Laura had taken that step. That on a trip to aspen, she met a college guy and they...
It wasn't surprising. Laura had always been the most flirtatious girl she knew and the most impulsive. Charlotte's mind though, couldn't let it go. Not the fact that it had been Laura that did it; it was more the subject of sex itself. It was difficult to avoid the subject at school. Kyle and sara weren't going to be much help with that considering the way they were going at eachother. Add that to the fact that most of the guys were constantly bragging and a lot of the girls weren't much better. Teenagers can seldom escape it being pushed at them, but it was something that never seemed interesting to Charlotte. In all the romantic movies she watched, sex scenes were amped up to be a huge deal, but with any of her past boyfriends, the urge to go any further than kissing was just never there.
After dinner, Charlotte went to her room to start on her creative writing assignment. She pulled some fresh pyjamas from the closet and walked over to draw her curtains. As she stood at the window, she noticed a man carrying a large box into the house directly across the street. Without a second thought she closed the drapes and got changed. Writing felt like second nature to her as she burned through her homework, trying desperately to wipe the thoughts of Laura's vacation escapades from her mind.
Once she had finished, Charlotte called Connor upstairs so they could watch a movie together before his bed time. Within minutes, they had fallen asleep together on her bed with the movie still playing.
Arriving at school the next day, Charlotte noticed the twins looking uneasy. Rushing over to them with concern, Charlotte asked.
"What happened?"
"Oh god, it's terrible!" Justin began.
"Just awful!" Kevin carried on.
"Guys, focus. What's happened?"
"Actually, we don't know. Laura is on the war path and either, no one knows how to calm her down. Or they're too scared to."
"Urg. Fine, where is she?"
"Follow the trail of terrified freshmen and you'll find her." Kevin laughed.
Charlotte ran up the school steps and through the doors. The twins weren't wrong, it looked as though Laura had snapped at every one of the students in the hall. As she jogged down the hallway, she heard crying softly coming from the girls bathroom. Charlotte opened the door slowly and already in the mirror she could see Laura's bright blonde hair draped over her face.
"Lor... can I come in?" Charlotte asked softly. Without a word of reply, a hand gripped charlotte's wrist and pulled her through tell doorway. "OK. OWCH! What the hell Laura?!"
Laura didn't say a word. Instead she handed Charlotte her phone which had the social media account of someone called Joe Huckstep open on he screen. Charlotte scrolled down and it became quickly clear who this guy was. Several pictures of Laura in her underwear... and worse had been posted online and had already gained a large following. Charlotte locked the phone and threw her arms around Laura, holding her without saying a word.
"I don't... how could he?! My life is ruined! It's RUINED!" Laura screamed. Charlotte had no idea what to say. The humiliation must have been unbearable and the betrayal even worse. "I... I need to go. I've got to get home.." Laura mumbled frantically, pushing her hair away from her face and dabbing at the corners of her eyes. "I've got to..." She was cut off by charlotte's arms wrapping around her shoulders again. Her hand came up to hold the back of Laura's head to her shoulder as the last few tears spilled out.
"Go home babe. I'll explain that you had to leave. Maybe you can..." charlotte's voice was cut off as the door of the bathroom opened again. This time, in walked kaitlyn who stopped in shock as she saw Laura nuzzled against Charlotte's neck.
"Oh, sorry... I just wanted to..." before she could finish, Laura's eyes shot up to meet kaitlyn's, burning through her with white hot rage. "Um.. I'll just..." she said quietly as she pulled the door closed behind her.
Laura called her dad and was gone within minutes, leaving Charlotte to tell the school her friend had to leave and to call her parents to confirm.
Home room was a lot quieter without Laura there to mass attention from the other students. At this point you could hear kyle and sara's lips smacking as they shamelessly made out. The twins sat either side of Charlotte who was in a daze, thinking of what her best friend must be going through.
"So..."
"Spill it!" The twins probed.
"Sorry boys. Its not something I can talk about."
"Ohh sounds juicy." Justin smirked. "Is it to do with Mr college man. The one she's been bragging about?"
Charlotte felt herself blush but just as quickly shook it off. "Don't exhaust your brain cell Justin. I really can't say so don't try and guess."
"Wow. Catty!" Kevin laughed as they both moved back to their seats. Charlotte rested her head in her hands and tried to compose herself. She hadn't noticed the chair next to her being pulled out, or kaitlyn now sitting there looking over at her. She didn't look up until she heard the rustle of a piece of paper being placed on her desk. As she moved her hands away from her eyes, she noticed a sheet of notebook paper, folded up and twisted in to the shape of a small flower.
"What's this?" She asked, picking it up to get a better look.
"You kind of looked like you might need it. There's no decent flower stall in the school so it's the best I could do..." kaitlyn grinned sheepishly.
"Wow. That's... really sweet." Charlotte felt her face warming. Assuming it was just the embarrassment of being caught off guard, she ignored it. "...But, trust me. Its not me that's having a bad day."
"Is it your friend?" Kaitlyn asked timidly. "I saw you two.. kind of, having a moment earlier."
"Its... I dont know. People can be really cruel, you know."
"Oh I know. Before we moved here, I met plenty of those people back in Texas."
"But why? I don't get what someone else gets from hurting someone. Someone that they were supposed to be good to. Why would you hurt someone who's crazy about you?"
Kaitlyn flinched at what Charlotte had said. Her mind raced with all the possibilities of what she could mean. "I don't know. I guess these shitty people make us feel better by giving us a chance to appreciate the people who are good to us."
"That sounds like a really optimistic way of looking at life. And a little unrealistic." Charlotte grumbled.
"I guess. But it's better than 'bad things are going to happen and that's that.'"
"You're right..." Charlotte lifted the paper flower to her face and mockingly sniffed it. "...well, I appreciate the flower. And the good person who gave it to me."
Kaitlyn choked on her breath as she saw Charlotte smile at her. The way her eyes were glistening with pained tears and the color of her cheeks from burying her face. "Thanks. Its nice to be appreciated." She laughed.
School went on as usual for the rest of the day. Charlotte was glued to her phone, waiting for some kind of message from Laura, but there was none. As the last bell rang, Charlotte gathered her things and walked to the main doors of the school. As she sat on the steps waiting for her ride, she found herself looking for kaitlyn. Instead she noticed the twins coming toward her with kyle and sara in tow.
"Hey charlie" kyle said, as though it wasn't the first time he'd spoke to her since school started. "You remember sara right?"
"Yeah, we hung out a lot last term. Though it's weird to see her without you hanging from her face kyle." Charlotte grinned.
"Oh.. um" kyle rubbed the back of his neck while sara dissolved into a mean blush. "Yeah. We got together other the summer"
"I'm glad, you two were always flirting before. Congrats guys."
"Anyway!" The twins spoke up in unison. "We didn't just come over to tell you that kyle's tongue is glued to sara's." Justin added.
"Yeah. We're throwing a party this weekend and we need out favourite girl's presence there." Kevin said with a wicked grin. "And also we need to borrow some party essentials from you."
"There's always a catch." Charlotte sighed with a smile. "No problem. You can pick it up whenever, it's all in the garage."
"Excellent" Justin yelled. "Will Laura be coming?"
"You'd have to ask her. I can't say."
"Fine we will. But just so you know, I'm planning to find out the big secret, if it's the last thing I..." Justin stopped abruptly.
"Charlie?" Kaitlyn's voice carried from behind her.
"Oh hey! I was wondering if you'd be waiting too." Charlotte said gleefully.
"Oh don't mind us..." Kevin said mockingly.
"Sorry. Guys this is kaitlyn. Kaitlyn, this is..."
"I'm Justin." "And I'm kevin" the twins said respectively. "And the symbiote over there is 50% kyle, 50% sara."
"Nice to meet you. I think we're in the same science class right?" Kaitlyn spoke confidently.
"We are!" The twins both grinned. "Anyway Charlie, we'll be in touch, don't forget about the party. Kaitlyn, you should come too." The twins called back as they walked away. Kyle and sara both walked off hand in hand leaving the two girls alone.
"So, a party? At the start of school?" Kaitlyn mused.
"Yeah. The twins have their own way of doing things, but you get use to them." Charlotte laughed. "So are you waiting for your parents to pick you up?"
"My mum usually gets me but she's going to be late today." Kaitlyn sighed.
"I could ask my mum to drop you off. Just text your parents that they don't need to pick you up."
"Oh. No I couldn't ask that." Kaitlyn said as she fiddled with the hem of her shirt.
"I offered so you don't have to ask." Charlotte winked, sending a flurry of heat to kaitlyn's face.
"Umm, ok. Thank you."
As charlotte's mum pulled up to the school, she ran to the car to ask if kaitlyn could have a ride. With a smile, her mum agreed and Charlotte ushered kaitlyn in to the car.
"Hi. Who are you? Do you go to school with Charlie? Why do you have those rings in your ears? I've seen them on my cartoons. Are you a Renegade Rock Ranger?"
"Connor!" Charlotte stopped him. "Enough questions. This is kaitlyn, she's a new friend and if she were a Rock Ranger, she wouldn't be allowed to tell you. Remember?"
"Oh... Yeah. I guess so." He said with defeat in his voice.
"Playing songs and righting wrongs. Saving the world all night long. All who threaten people's joys, beware our music. Rock Rangers noise." Kaitlyn recited the Rock Rangers oath in a hushed tone to Connor, making him bounce with excitement. "Keep my secret, or they'll kick me out of the Rangers, ok?" Connor nodded his head and wiped the expression from his face as he tried to hold in her 'secret'.
"Where abouts do you live kaitlyn?" Charlotte's mum asked from the drivers seat.
"Reynolds street. The house with the blue door." She said softly.
"Oh.. well that's handy." She replied. "Charlie, you could have said she lived so close."
"I honestly didn't know." Charlotte laughed.
As the car pulled up to kaitlyn's house, she quickly let herself out. Kaitlyn ruffled Connor's hair and brought a shushing finger to her lips as a reminder of his promise. Connor nodded silently, zipping his lips.
"So, I'll see you in home room?" Kaitlyn asked shyly.
"Or before." Charlotte smiled as she tapped the back of her mums seat, signalling for her to go. Kaitlyn looked on in confusion as the car pulled in to the driveway directly across the street from her but relented with a laugh. As Charlotte walked to her front door, she looked over her shoulder to see kaitlyn still watching her with a smile. Charlotte hurried inside, trying to escape anyone seeing the blush that was written all over her face.
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Ep. 11: “Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one?” - Aimee
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Amy A
Ben ☹️. I didn’t play too well with him and it was such a good blindside I couldn’t resist. I wish him well and I just have a feeling I’m next to go 
Olivia A
Okay umm we got Ben out but it turns out Kalle gave me a real idol? So I feel weird. The reason we began suspecting her of lying was because Hanuha people knew about Maddison’s safety without power advantage and Kalle was literally the only person who could’ve told them. IDK!!
Aimee
I’m just so tired of crying! Sarah tried to video chat and I just couldn’t. No one knew I don’t think that Ben and I were so close. Gaaaaah I’m gonna miss him so much! He just helped me so much to stay sane in this game. The last thing I need is anyone seeing me as a big hot mess. I can’t catch a break. 
Sarah
From two nights ago.... https://youtu.be/uebz8rVKNbg https://youtu.be/xQyiuiGeEpo
Pedro A
when i actually thought i was at the bottom........THERES EVEN A LOWER BOTTOM...THAT IM IN RIGHT NOW......chille ben screwed us BIG TIME....we were in a great spot..i dont even know what to say at this point
Sarah
Wow. Okay. I didn’t want to be a villain but here we are. I will post a video confessional soon but for now, the plan to vote out Ben actually worked. I called Maddison last minute and explained that Ben and Kalle were tight and were all over the place, playing both sides. Maddison found out that Kalle was a rat and was not being completely truthful and we both agreed on voting Kalle or Ben. We agreed on Ben because we thought Kalle was going to play her idol on herself.... turns out Ben was telling the truth in voting out Kalle to old Hanuha and Kalle actually gave Olivia a real idol. More to come... but for now I feel like a villain ahhh. 
Kalle N.
Well I said that my only goal was to make jury and not go to the FTC so it looks like Ben really helped me achieve that. THAT FOOL REALLY FUCKED ME OVER ON HIS WAY OUT THE DOOR. This is fine. I will never let him forget that I've beaten him twice now and that's all that matters. Did not see this tribal coming at all. Can't wait to get voted out next
Najwah
If I learned anything today is that we tend to read in and over think and make up scenarios in our head. Ben was actually on our side all along? Who would have thought. All the bits and pieces he told us today just didn't add up and Cody said he was different and everyone was just quiet and Ben didn't talk in the group, he spoke to people individually. I don't really understand what just happened but we wasted so much energy speculating lmao. And now where the hell do we go from here? Cody has become so paranoid also. The minute Ben told him that those people will be writing his name he became soooo paranoid wtf. Then he WASTED an advantage and idol at tribal? Just bc he still didn't trust the plan. I'm starting to think that Cody just can't trust anyone or any process. I really think he needs to chill more. Be more low key. Just try to be calm. If you get voted out, it's not like you're going to die or something. It's just a game after all. 
Aimee
Apparently tribe was getting too suspicious of how Ben and Kalle were so close. I still don’t get why I had to be left out of the vote though? Why can’t I get the respect to be told what is happening before the vote, so I have time to process my emotions and have my stuff together a little. https://immunityilol.tumblr.com/post/617448854807298048 Instead I get nothing. I get a call from Sarah right after Ben is voted out. Obviously I can’t answer it because I’m crying and no one knew I was super close to Ben. I’m just so angry right now first Grae now Ben! IS MADDISON NEXT!? FUCK! Like Gah I’m afraid to get close to anyone. But I just love getting to know people. I finally got to video chat with Maddison. Fucking loved it! She is great to talk to and great to have on this crazy skype isolation island. I need some interaction and realness right now. Ok I’m totally drinking. It’s hard enough to process all this nonsense sober. We will see what the next day brings. 
Aimee
Sarah I really don’t want us to end up like this Casanova music video. 😢💔 I guess everyone wants to blindside Aimee as a treat. I hope people got their jollies out of it. 🌟 Allie X - Casanova feat VÉRITÉ https://youtu.be/YpVunjboAWg
Sarah
From last night.... https://youtu.be/EirlyVVXDKk
Sarah
Day 21 https://youtu.be/aYiGStuSKDA
Pedro A
Im afraid Kalle will throw me under the bus...just to stay this week cause shes on the bottom....and im also afraid that maddison and olivia will try to convince kalle to vote me out...instead ....since they are coming for me ...GOSHHH..i hate my life...i need immunity...CAN I LIKE HAVE IT?
Pedro A
okay so im excited to see everyone's answers to this challenge...THIS WILL BE INTERESTING...it will reveal a lot of people real thoughts ..IM READY FOR TEAAAA YALL
Najwah
I enjoyed my day today. I think it's the first time I was fully in the real world in 22 days. I'm playing a reckless game right now. There are so many layers in this game but after last night's tribal and learning that Ben was being legit, I just feel bad. I love Cody but he's definitely a loose cannon and can't play low key. Which is definitely bad for my game. He and Sarah are trying to push me into getting Amy on our side, but our relationship just isn't like that. I don't want to make her feel used. I like her. I really like her a lot. I like Sarah too. And Cody. I want to be friends with all these people IRL lol so I don't want to play against them or lie to them. This game just gets harder every time someone gets voted off tbh but I'm at the point where I feel like "if my plan works, then great", "if it doesn't, then whatever. I get to chill on panderosa and get to sleep more and actually spend time with my family and friends who I've been avoiding since this started lmao" Also, I'd be able to work again. I haven't got much work done urgh. I don't know whether my super idol is real. I'm curious to see what tonight's challenge will reveal. I am not going in with any syrategy
Cody wants to go for Kalle and Pedro coz they voted for him? I don't know, I think that's kinda silly and I'm not about revenge. You have to think rationally. And we have made a few irrational choices of late because people read into things. I still wish Ben hadn't told Cody that everyone was voting for him. That's how so much of yesterday's shit started. I have been so tired since yesterday. Tired of the scheming and overthinking and being paranoid over nothing urgh. Aimee also wants to call me after the challenge. I'm kinda scared tbh. I had a dream last night that Aimee killed me lmao this game is haunting me and giving me nightmares. Honestly, I'd be okay if anyone left wins this game. Okay except Kalle. She's the only one I've not interacted with and she just seems dodge idk. Maybe I'm still thinking about Zack's stupid analysis on people. Anyways. 
Najwah
I'm happy for Maddison tbh. She deserved that. I just want to scream about Cody though? Why did Cody chop Aimee? Wtf. And that made Aimee chop Sarah before she chopped Amy or Maddison. I'm so confused. Ugh. 
Maddison
Apparently I don’t know much about this tribe. Yeet!
Pedro A
Villan of the season?....im honored...but bitter jury?...i didnt like that one..lol
Aimee
I chopped Pedro for Grae. 
I chopped Olivia and haha sorry I got so nervous on here that I just chopped the final chop, even though that was savage as hell... I called her a goat and then chopped her right out of the game. Oops hahahahaha. When I watch this challenge back I look like the C word with a capital C.... And that word isn’t “cartwheel.” I chopped Sarah for the Ben blindside. I chopped Amy for my mental health. I can’t lose Maddison! I’m so sick of being tortured that I truly am running out of fucks tbh. Just chop anyone, whatever. Why do I care...
Aimee
Ohhhh Najwah!!!! Don’t worry about not telling me about the vote or accidentally calling me a goat because you didn’t know the meaning. I think I would make a cute goat. https://nunyabizni.tumblr.com/post/615593098008035328 Love that you think I’m actually “the Greatest of All Time.” I adore you and our friendship 💖❤️💞 luv you girl!!! I know you’re truly being genuine unlike others. I’m waiting for this game to tip in our favor so we can run with it. https://youtu.be/TGwZ7MNtBFU This MV is dedicated towards Najwah after Cody swooped in and stole my final 2 with her. No hard feelings; I have my own stuff to sort out after my man Ben was voted out. I’m pretty confident you have a final 2 with Cody and I love that for you. 🧡💛💚 I’m happy y’all got together and are strong with Sarah. But here I am. Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one? Just not playing the game and grazing my grass over here like a “goat?” They really don’t know how close I was with Ben and they got stupid lucky on that one. I’m not as clueless as you all think... it’s in your best interest to reconsider. Also let’s not skip over the fact that Sarah and I both didn’t get an answer on touchy subjects for “who do you trust the most.” Yeah don’t think I didn’t peep that. 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Sarah didn’t put me and I didn’t put her. I put Maddison. Cody had 2 votes. Najwah and Sarah put him. I’m not dense. I guess Sarah is cool with being that 3rd wheel. Loving the fact that apparently no one has been seeing me reaching across the aisle for damn DAYS trying to play with Maddison.... oh honey, oh girl...oh no no ... that was just Ben right? Yeah. My final 2 with Ben is gone so I’m rogue and hoping I can get Maddison as far as possible with me. Also! Just letting you all know I’m not a damn chump. It’s SO OBVIOUS that Cody Najwah and Sarah have a fucking secret chat that they’ve been in since the beginning of all time, which included Zack. You’ve heard it here first folks. Oh and I’ve known this for at least a week or two. The tells are so blatant, but catch me pretending to have no idea. I’m not the goat that you think I am, but I would LOVE you to continue to think of me of a goat and forgettable. If you knew what I was doing I wouldn’t be allowed to get to the end. If I’m on any players radars then that means I am doing a bad job. So, I absolutely loved what this challenge revealed. I know way more than people think I know, but I am playing up the ditzy card hardcore. I would much rather prefer to be a stealthy sniper that people think is not playing. Give me a chance to explain my game in the final tribal and you might regret that. I have been doing all the same moves as Ben and same exact strategy.... he gets called a big threat and blindsided and yet here I am with identical strategy and totally left alone and tbh a little disrespected but that works to my advantage. Perception is not reality! This could be everyone’s biggest mistake and I honestly love it. I just want Kalle and Pedro out tbh. I got my big boobs and my positivity. I’m mind strong and I’m ready to get this. Your lady is never giving up. If you blindside me again it better be me that gets voted out. Otherwise you’re all in a world of fucking trouble... https://64.media.tumblr.com/0389c791f095d54973543b32d4414577/984582d2a107588c-89/s540x810/c10ec7b961de2fd3b693a886ea7385b04ed3d653.gifv
Najwah
I am still tired. LOL. Amy L still hasn't replied to me. I think she hates me right now and I burned the bridge with her, which I'm obviously sad about because it's the only bridge I really cared about? Like she's the only person who I was 100% sure about and we've always respected each others allegiance to their alliances. Anyway. What does it matter now? I'm going to let Cody and Sarah make a plan with this tribal scrambling. Oh Cody said the reason he chopped Aimees rope is because he didn't want her to win immunity again lmao so he rather chops someone in his own alliance wtf I can't get over that fatal mistake. That and playing the extra vote and idol😭😭 ugh and I think people assume I am his goat or something lmaooooo I absolutely adore Cody but I really hope he doesn't mess things up for himself. Sarah wants me to get coins for them to buy an immunity idol. Do I really want to waste 5 coins again on someone whose just going to get paranoid and play it? I don't know. I need to think on it. 
Aimee
Welp I finally told my first lie in this game and hopefully it’s not my demise. I guess it’s my turn to be messy. I’m still coping with Ben being gone. 💔😢😫 Why the nut, did I tell Pedro I want him here. It was definitely too much alcohol and worried if he had another idol I would be the throw vote. Welp we will see if he throws that info all over the island. https://64.media.tumblr.com/d9f98e355c7e9229777fa982551cfd7e/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do7_250.gifv https://64.media.tumblr.com/d37a2b6f76f83c1beaca2ca2bac6bb72/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do3_250.gifv I’ve made peace with it though. This lady ain’t stopping, but if this puts me in jury. I’m honestly excited! I’ll finally get to talk to James, Grae and Ben again! And that makes my heart warm. ♥️ 
Pedro A
I'm probably going home tonight....kinda done with this.....I'm exhausted and emotionally drained from this experience.. I just wanna chill...at the end of the day its either me or kalle....so may the odds be in my favor!!
Najwah
I'm nervous about this vote. Apparently Maddison and co are willing to work with us to get Kalle out. I don't know how legit it is but I'm tired tonight and I just think I should do an early vote before people change their minds. 
Amy A.
So we had the game yesterday and there was a question about ‘closest Ally’ and no one chose me. I’m not really bothered about everyone else except NAJWAH. She didn’t choose me! I was the only one who chose her cos her name came just ONCE. Whoever she ended up choosing as her closest ally didn’t even choose her. It’s made me real life sad because I trusted her so much. Honestly, I didn’t even think twice about putting her name down for closest ally. I haven’t even spoken to anyone about tonight’s vote. Idk who I’m voting for but I know it’s not her cos I promised her that. That’s the only reason. Maybe I’m the one going home. I don’t know. 
Maddison
Let’s hope for a straightforward vote tonight with no unforeseen twists!
Aimee
https://youtu.be/m4Z0RN_KhK0 A flow mobz - thrill over fear (feat. luna blake) Omg I couldn’t sleep last night and I just woke up being bitchy about Pedro. I don’t think he actually has anyone besides maybe Kalle. My walls are up and I just want this vote to work in my favor and be Kalle. I hope there are no hard feelings after this game. I just want to get to know everyone during all this covid madness and have some fun. 🌈
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doctor-sweet-blog · 7 years
Text
Stupid Martyrs () [Swynlake’s Anatomy]
In which Tibbs and Sweet catch Minnie breaking the law, and argue about who is going to take the fall for her...
@exsgttibbs, @sweetheart-minnie
[tw for--i dont think there are any]
TIBBS Tibbs was feeling sort of at odds. He had been drawn to the Agora with the rest of them, and had sworn his allegiance to their new Queen, but now - well, after the massive earthquake and the speech and all of that, things were winding down, and he had a little time to think. He knew he wasn't a doctor in this life (was being a doctor even a THING in this life?) and whilst he was content to keep his head down and work, the work felt sort of... Lacking. Pointless, maybe? 
He was sure it would pass. He just had to get settled, and keep out of trouble.
MINNIE  Minnie had truly gotten sort of use to the whimsical throwing of tricks Swynlake threw at it's residents from time to time. After living here for almost her whole existence it became less and less of a surprise. However, this whole... "new world" thing... where she had been drawn to the Agora like the rest of the town, no this was something the brunette knew she wasn't going to simply get use to. A queen? A two-class system? She was a slave?! Granted, according to this new path that was fleshed out for her, her masters treated her well and kindly, but even that part of her didn't like the queen's regime. As it was, both parts of her wasn't keen to staying with their fingers crossed. She had met another slave in her house who was willing to teach her how to fight and defend herself.
It was after everything had winded down, and the sun was setting leaving the town hidden under the shadows of the dark that Minnie was quietly moving with some weapons in hand. She hadn't expected to find anyone that was until she accidentally ran into a familiar figure.
".....Tibbs? Or err Dr. Tibbs? Or... not...? I'm sorry still trying to get use to it all...." She laughed a little nervously, trying to sneakily hide her weapons from sight.
SWEET  Sweet was not stalking. He just happened to have been out--heading to "his" flock on the edge of town for the evening shift, when he caught sight of Tibbs heading across a broken street. Abandoning his post with ease, he started following the man. Mostly to make sure his friend wasn't being an idiot--it seemed like something Tibbs might do. Be an idiot, that is.
And then, out of nowhere--Minnie appeared too.
His strides got quicker, coming up beside Tibbs, arms crossed. It looked like he was wrong about who was being an idiot.
His eyebrows jumped up on his forehead. "Minerva, what on /earth/ are you doing?"
TIBBS  Tibbs had looked up when he heard his name, and upon seeing a familiar face, had allowed a small smile. He wasn't sure he had seen anyone he knew all day, so seeing Minnie was a relief, even if she was looking rather... Twitchy.
"Yeah, me too. It's a big change--" he didn't get to finish, interrupted by Sweet (he didn't have to turn to know it was him).
He spun round on his heel, jumping back a step. How long had he been there? "Sweet? What the hell--". .
MINNIE Minnie had not seen Sweet at all! In fact, she had been fine with merely speaking with Tibbs and hiding the weapons from view when Sweet had appeared out of no where! She looked up at the man biting her lip nervously as her fingers clung tightly around the weapons.
"I'm not doing anything." That was a bold face lie, but she wasn't about to implicate anyone on what she has been doing.
"In fact I was just... taking a walk. The only wrong thing here is that I was walking alone, which I know isn't clever, but it isn't like all of this could be taken in so easily." It was a bloody lot to take in. "So I forgot an escort." A male babysitter. "Lucky you two popped up then."
SWEET  Sweet would chuckle at both of their surprise, if this wasn't such a high stress situation. He was good under pressure, but Hell opening itself up was an entirely different beast than the warzones in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Minnie's sweet smile did nothing to calm the pressure in his heart that was telling him this was Very Not Good.
"You shouldn't be going anywhere so soon to dark, it's dangerous," he chastised her, gently, but firmly.
TIBBS Tibbs knew that Sweet had a point, actually - Minnie probably shouldn't be roaming the streets at night on her own, not without an escort, and with demons and ghouls and god knows what else flitting about town. Looking from Sweet to Minnie, Tibbs gave a soft frown.
"He's got a point." He nodded. "But she's not alone now." he added, looking to Sweet, trying to find some kind of middle ground. "We can walk you back to your house."
MINNIE  Minnie looked from Sweets to Tibbs as they both took turn reprimanding her actions, even if it was done lightly. She knew they meant well for her, was sort of looking out for her, and that was sweet, it truly was, but now wasn't the time for that. Logically speaking, what both men were saying was true, she shouldn't be out wondering alone at night in this new world of theirs.
It would be smart to simply oblige by the rules, keep your head low and wait till it all blew over. That, however, was the problem. Minnie wasn't so sure if all of this would blow over. It wasn't a spell they were under after all, all of this was entirely different, and she couldn't just stay still with her arms crossed doing nothing about it.
Again she looked at both men, her teeth gnawing at the inside of her cheek. If she moved now... they'd see the weapons... but what other choice did she have? "Oh, my house... sure. I uhh it's the House of Water, but you both really don't have to. I'm sure I can sneak back just fine."
SWEET  "Not a chance," Sweet said at once, having to bite his tongue to not add /young lady/. Instead, he eyed a pair of hulking demons coming towards them in the near-darkness, their eyes glinting red in the low light. He took a step to the side to flank Minnie, Tibbs on her other side.
"We're not doing anything wrong," he told the brutish beasts. They didn't say anything, just stared at the trio silently, but Sweet could hear their breathing--it rasped like wind through nettles.
TIBBS  As soon as he saw those demons he had a pretty bad feeling, and whilst legging it in the other direction was a nice thought, Tibbs feet were planted firmly against the ground, half hiding Minnie behind his shoulder, his eyes on the things. If something bad /was/ about to happen, he wasn't about to let it happen without him.
"We were just leaving." He added. He had no idea which way the House of Water was, but their best bet was in the opposite direction to those demons, red eyes watching them in the half-darkness. He didn't look at Minnie, but it was her he spoke to. She would have to lead the way, after all. "Let's go."
MINNIE  Minnie had every intention to respond right back to Sweets, but instead found herself basically covered by both men to be blocked from the line of vision of the brutish demon that now before them. Minnie's heart felt like it had now lunged itself in her throat.
No, no, no! This was not suppose to be happening!
She could hear both men speaking to the beast, Minnie staying ever so quiet behind both figures trying to think of a logical way out of all of this.
She had weapons in her person, nothing extravagant a couple of daggers, but she still had them. She wasn't a smith, strike one and then she was out at /night/ in the /dark/ strike two.
Of course all of that appeared highly suspicious and now she was expected to move, that would show her weapons. Minnie looked up at Tibbs she did not want to move maybe if she offered directions instead...
"My house... it's not too far off from here.. it's umm behind us, two blocks down and then a left."
SWEET  One of the demons stretched out its long claws, making a "give me" motion towards Minnie. Sweet didn't know what they could want. He hadn't see the weapons that Minnie was hiding. So, he just leaned his body in front of her more, heart racing. He couldn't tell if it was his or Tibbs or Minnie's or all three of them. But, he did his best to ignore it. Standing solid.
"Let's go then," Sweet said, putting his hand back and pressing on Minne's stomach gently to get her to take a step backwards.
He took a step backwards too, though he kept his eyes on the demons.
One of them disappeared in a column of smoke and reappeared behind Minnie--yanking the bag on her shoulder off, dumping the weapons out onto the street with a hiss like water being poured over steam.
TIBBS Weapons. They echoed as they clattered to the ground, and for a second Tibbs' mouth fell open, his eyes on them. Christ. Bad enough that the three of them were out after dark, but now they had weapons with them - or rather, the unaccompanied woman had weapons with her.
What was Minnie even doing with those?
Tibbs, who had been still as Sweet had moved Minnie back now stepped forward, towards the demon that had outed his friend.
"They're not hers." He said, shoulders back. He was really the best candidate, here, right? He was a smith. It made sense. "I'd given them to her, to give to her master. That's all."
MINNIE  Minnie had felt Sweet press on Minnie's stomach and she instantly was broken out of her fear to well move. She took a step backwards to turn around and head back to the House of Water and that was then she was face to face with demon beast those glowing red eyes starring straight at her. Her heart only crawled up more in her throat practically hitching the motion of breathing all together. She had frozen in spot dread crawling over her skin as the demon poured out the evidence of what she had really been doing.
Tibbs seemed to have move a lot faster than Minnie's fear would allow her to as she suddenly found him in front of her falsifying a lie that could very well place him into trouble. Her heart fell from her throat and sank, but she knew better than to talk. Any word from her mouth would spill out the fear that was gripping at her, so she simply nodded her head.
SWEET  Before Sweet could do exactly what Tibbs was the bloody bastard did it first.
There was no way he could allow that to happen. He wasn't letting either Tibbs or Minnie go to jail. He'd take the fall for both of them. Whirling around, turning his back on the demon he was facing, he stared straight at the other one's face, coming shoulder to shoulder with Tibbs.
"No, they're mine--I'm planning a rebellion and I needed weapons. Minnie knew a smith. I didn't. She didn't know what they were being used for. Take me." The demon looked over Sweet's head to its brother and they both hissed at each other in confusion.
TIBBS  For God's sake.
He looked at Sweet with narrowed eyes - no. He was the one taking the blame, here. He wasn't about to let either of his friends be sent down into the Underworld, he just wouldn't have it. He could see the demons conversing, evidently confused. Tibbs couldn't blame them. It was about to get even more confusing.
"I'm the smith. I've been the smith of the House of Earth for a while now. I used to be a warrior, I was captured, and I was plotting against the Queen to regain my freedom. Minnie had nothing to do with it, and neither did he--"
Now he looked to Sweet, his eyes narrowing, hoping that Sweet would understand the silent /keep your mouth shut/ Tibbs was sending his way.
"And neither did he. It was me. Take me to the Queen. I'll confess it all to her."
MINNIE  Minnie couldn't believe what she was currently seeing here. She wasn't so sure if the demons were the ones more confused or if Minnie herself was. They were both trying to take the fall. That in and of itself made her chest feel tight. She couldn't allow them to do that! This had been /her/ fault not theirs even if they were both parading the idea of it being theirs. If it had been any other situation and Minnie was just a stranger looking in, she would shake her head and comment how they were both being idiots trying to out rank the other to take the fall.
That wasn't the case, however, as she tugged at both robes whispering harshly, though quiet enough so that only the both men heard her. "What are you doing?! You-you can't-stop just—just stop. I-you guys /can't/ I won't let you!"
SWEET  Sweet just scoffed at Tibbs.
His heart did give a tug at Minnie's harsh whispering but he wanted to protect her and he knew that someone was going to have to take the fall for this. And it couldn't be her. Both Tibbs and him had been alive much longer and they'd seen much worse (not that Minnie hadn't been through her fair share of tragedy.) He couldn't allow her to go down to the Underworld.
And he couldn't let Tibbs either. This was more--personal, in the sense that Sweet didn't have much of a reason outside the fact that Tibbs was his friend, and he didn't want him hurt. Would rather be hurt himself.
"Well, I'm planning to take the Queen down--I was going to use that knife, right there." He kicked it with his foot, making the demons hiss and one of them grabbed his arm, making him cry out from the burning heat from the demon's grip.
TIBBS Tibbs looked to Minnie as she whispered, but he knew it was no good. He wasn't going to let her get in trouble, and he wasn't going to let Sweet get in trouble either. They were his friends, probably the closest thing he'd had to "brothers in arms" since he left the army, so yeah - he wasn't going to let either of them go to jail. Even Sweet, though he seemed so intent on going. The shout Sweet gave echoed off the walls of the houses that had sprung up, and Tibbs couldn't stand it.
"The /sword/. I was going to use the sword, and take the head of the Queen to show the rest of the citizens, to end this--"
MINNIE  They both weren't listening! Even when she had pleaded for them to stop they both continued to do so! And when Minnie heard the cry that had pierced from out of Sweet's lips her own hands had to clasp her mouth to keep it from screaming herself. She moved then getting closer to Sweet but looking at the demon. She could feel tears pulling at the rim of her eyes, her vision becoming blurred, her heart beating rapidly against her chest. She had /never/ meant for any of this! Why hadn't she simply kept her head down?!
"Please p-please s-stop!" She didn't know who she was speaking to at this point whether it was Sweet, Tibbs, or the demon. "I-it wasn't t-they d-didn't—" Do anything? It wasn't there fault? The demon wouldn't believe her at this point, not when both men gave convincing stories that could far surpass a measly little woman sneaking out with weapons. At this point tears were streaming down her eyes and Minnie... she didn't know what she could possible do!
SWEET Sweet shouted again as he saw the other demon reach out for Tibbs, reaching out and grabbing him by the biceps too. Sweet got a look of Minnie's tears as she came towards him and he felt his heart twist.
"No! Minnie! Stay back!" he shouted at her, just as both demons gave great flaps of their wings. The ground opened up beneath them and they jumped into the air, before diving down and disappearing into nothing, leaving Minnie standing on the sidewalk, all alone.
For Tibbs and Sweet the world was black, black, black nothingness until they were thrown down into the pits of the Underworld with the other condemned.
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tumblunni · 7 years
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and I’m just thinking about how much its a great template on how to make a small town feel like a real living world, and how to make you get to know characters organically, and such! there’s so much you can take influence from even in wildly different genres of game that dont share any of the same mechanics! So umm here’s my random post of thinking about things inspired by rune factory that I’d love to incorporate into my own games someday~! I think a lot of it could work best for my ‘cathedral tower’ game cos its about protecting a town of people, or my ‘zombie mum’ game cos it could have a lot of similar scavenging mechanics. HMMMM... This game just makes me so inspired!!!
* I really really REALLY like how you gain stat experience from doing various exploration activities around the world, and it translates into bonuses to your battle and/or farming skills. AND those battle and farming skills give bonuses to each other! Like.. walking, eating, taking a bath, throwing stuff, they all add small amounts to your hp or stamina bar. Which means you can farm more! And all the different types of farming and crafting activities, which you can do more of now, add vitality and accuracy and strength. And now you can battle more! And battling gives a very good growth curve of making you better at battling, there’s levels but there’s also great encouragement to try every weapon and magic in order to pump up your stats. Which is also great incentive to do crafting so you’ll actually be able to handle fighting with a low level weapon long enough to gain all the boosts. Which is a great incentive to farm and explore to get those ingredients in order to craft. Which is a great incentive to befriend the townsfolk, and level them up as your companions, and give them your leftover crafted items in order to equip them all good and make them more useful while raising friendship at the same time. aaaa everything links so well, its so well made! it means you can succeed in the game no matter which part of it you’re better at, and its easier to get into trying the stuff you maybe dont like as much. Except for the soil levelling system, thats annoyingly nonintuituive and non-tutorial’d compared to the rest...
* Anyway! Ideas for how it could be expanded even more to give you even more of a sense of progression! And also to make it less repetitive having to reexplore the same areas again and again looking for stuff that only spawns there. Eventually you’re gonna be stuck with a total lack of some early level item and you have to backtrack searching for where on earth it came from :P ANYWAY! The idea! Maybe you could level up your gathering skills with different forms of gathering? You kinda do have that with the mining/farming/etc, but it doesnt have any effect on what you gain, how fast you can gather, how much you gather, etc. It just gives you the battle stat boosts for gathering a lot. My idea was maybe like... if you have high level mining then maybe you have higher odds of finding rare rocks, getting more drops per rock, getting the rarer drops within the rare rocks, rocks respawning faster, etc. So it becomes less and less difficult the more powerful you get! And instead of lots of items being super limited to certain areas, technically every area contains the same rock items and its only your skill that determines what you get. With maybe just a little bit of a levelling curve, like if you enter a high level area earlier than you’re supposed to then its harder to mine a rock. Takes 50 swings instead of 5, or whatever. But this is also a reward for exploring there early, cos you get 50 chances to win a good item from that rock, instead of 5. (Provided you even have enough stamina to manage that!) And maybe high level rocks give more mining experience, or whatever. Aaaaand maybe there are indeed some area-exclusive drops, rather than necessarily everything scaling to your current level. But they wouldnt be as specific as in RF4, where I have to keep going back to this one haunted mansion thats the only damn place containing spiders so far! Like, have several areas at different levels throughout the game, so there’s always a new [item] hunting area thats relatively close to your level at all times. And maybe the higher level equivelant of like... the spider area, would give out bigger amounts of spider items and more exp and whatever. But you could still totally sit around grinding in the low level spider area and start getting higher level spidermeats if you do it enough, its just easier to grind at the later areas. So the level curve still works out! Man sorry this is a long confusing blabber cos i dunno how to explain this XD
* Alternative idea on how to make low level items still relatively available even when it becomes annoying to backtrack to those areas: Digimon World version! Alternative methods to acquire those items easily without gathering will appear as the game goes on. In DW1 the shops unlock in roughly this pattern. (Well, its a sandbox game so you can sequence break at some points and unlock shops in different orders, but yeah) Like around the time you’re 10 levels above [spider area], you get a merchant who sells those spider things. And by now you’ll be making a lot more profit so its way more feasable to just buy it all from them instead of backtracking to gather. Or maybe it could be part of a reward for befriending people? I thought in the cathedral game it would be good if you could set other characters to do work while you’re out adventuring, once youve earned their trust. So you could get an infinate source of those low level items through this method, and maybe get more appreciation for the characters when they’re being super helpful and all. And maybe you could set up various areas in your home base in order to change the low-level item that the npcs will farm. Like, set up a small pen full of tamed spiders that you can milk for cobwebs every day. And as the game goes on, you can upgrade your base and add more room for multiple item-farming areas at once.
* And also possibly have a small chance of characters randomly appearing each morning? Like, instead of necessarily having to backtrack around the town every single day to talk to everybody, once they’re a high enough friendship level they’ll randomly take the initiative themselves. And give you bonus gifts and sidequests and stuff, or maybe have a chance of doing a small favour for you. Like you wake up and a few squares of your farm are already watered or harvested, or one of your items has had its durability restored, or clues have been added on your map on how to find a new area. Or I dunno.. like... they cleaned your house or made you breakfast and you get a productivity boost from friendship joy. But yeah this randomness would be another way you could still receive old items without having to backtrack. Plus generally other anti-backtracking helpfulness! I think that as your level increases it should get easier to do your daily chores, so you have more time to do [insert whatever thing is currently plot important at this level]. Thats a big problem that makes it exhausting to continue playing farming games after a long time. Like.. the first time you run around the town giving people gifts its fun, but after doing a whole year of it it gets frustrating that it never gets easier or less required. Same for farming and backtrack-gathering, and even battling and exploring to some extent. if the way you do these things eventually started to get easier/change in how you do them, then they’d never get monotonous. Though that might just be a problem for me, I guess? I dunno if I’m weird but i find things more and more difficult the more I do them, routines are frustrating to me instead of easier. I have to find ways to always spice it up!
* Another idea of more ways to interact with characters beyond just giving gifts every day! Maybe have bonuses in certain areas every now and then? like, wake up one day and [character] is saying ‘the harvest in [area] is really good!’, and then if you go there you get a higher quantity of stuff, exp, and some cute friendship scenes with the charrie. Or maybe there’s too many [monster] in [area] and the harvest might actually become bad if you dont team up with [character] and exterminate them! And again, it’d become easier as you get higher levelled. At the beginning you’d pretty much be required to go for these events or else miss the chance, but later on if characters trust you a lot they could do it automatically on their own if you miss the event. So they continue gaining bonus exp even when you’re not travelling with them, you still gain (a slightly smaller amount of) the bonus item in your supply box, and really all you lost was a chance to raise more friendship points with them.
* Also maybe sometimes with regular quests/requests, a character could volunteer to help if they like you enough? Not for main story quests, with those you’d just have the character asking if they can join you for it. But with like... fred asks you for some chestnuts to make a cake for gerald, and mary calls you up to say ‘hey i heard about it, i had a big harvest of chestnuts today!’ And then you get friendship with all three of them, and save some time! And you can still refuse if you wanna do it yourself, that way you’d get bonus friendship with fred. cos like, he heard from mary that you said you wanted to handle the problem personally, and he was flattered. :3 (tho some characters would be different, maybe some would dislike it? i dunno)
* I really love that you can give cute hats to the batchelors and batchelorettes in RF4, and they wear them, and it is cute. This needs to be a thing in all games! I also like that the way its done is sorta easter eggy? Its not really explained as its own unique feaure, youre actually never told you can change party members’s equipment, which is a little bit annoying. But its also nice that its just like... “wow, the game’s much more open than I expected!” You can give gifts to characters and you wonder if you can give every single item, then HUH if you give them hats they actually wear them! And they can use all the same weapons you use! Awesome~ I also like that it seems like they have a chance of randomly wearing every hat you ever gave them? Whenever theyre in your party, they wear whatever equipment you last gave them, but when theyre wandering around the town they randomly wear their entire hat history. Thats so cute and makes them feel more alive! Itd be so neat if characters in these games could ‘remember’ stuff like that more often. Like I dunno... maybe the game logs down the first gift item you ever give each character, and then they bring it up during their final max-affection event. With different cute conversations depending on what it was! Like ‘omg wasnt it hilarious, I really hated it’ or ‘i cant believe you got my fave item on the first try!’ And then if its something of medium level like, maybe they say ‘i never really thought [item] was all that special, but ive become quite fond of it now it makes me remember you’. And i dunno, maybe at the ending the game could remember who you had in your party during every big story quest, and show a montage during the credits ^_^
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sasuke420 · 7 years
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1-65 except the ones you already did
ok this is A LOT so sorry if you’re on mobile
1: Do you have a crush at the moment?
answered
2: Have you ever been deeply in love?
answered
3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?
like........unofficially almost 2 years but official a combination of 2 months then 7 or 8 months idfk 
4: Have you ever changed for someone?
i absorb the personality of everyone i ever talk to but like, not intentionally
5: How is your relationship with your ex?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i hope we never speak again or if we do it’s just so i can be like FUCK YOU again tbh,
6: Have you ever been cheated on?
nah
7: Have you ever cheated?
nope
8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?
what the fuck no
9: What's the most important part of a relationship?
umm......communication? trust? all those words people throw out that are true and real but i love being very open at all times so truly communication
10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
serious i guess? my last “fling” was kind of a disaster so idk 
11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?
NOPE NOPE NOPE almost fell for that bullshit and it’s basically what ended my last relationship so absolutely not no thanks!!! not for me
12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?
i hate the phrase hooked up bc it could mean anything from kissing to sex so i never know how to answer this?! i already made a post the other day sayin ive kissed 4 people so theres that i guess 
13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?
answered
14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?
idk you do you but like, personally before like........16 seems too dangerous imo bc you are Children but as long as it’s safe and whatever idk
15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?
no bc it’s usually used by predatory older dudes but i mean age differences are fine as long as it’s not creepy and terrible. but don’t say this as a 24 year old dude as an excuse to date a high schooler
16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?
answered
17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?
that’s like, exclusively what’s happened to me so, yeah
18: What do you consider a deal breaker?
i don’t have like a specific list in my mind or like one THING i cannot tolerate but i guess a huge one would be anything having to do w not tolerating mental illness bc that is my entire personality
19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
when they make you feel shitty more than they make you feel happy
20: Are you currently in a relationship?
nop
21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?
yeah i’ve seen it happen and work out fine
22: Do you think people should date their friends?
sure why not, it’s nice to be friends then have it turn into something or whatever. i like relationships based off of friendships 
23: How many relationships have you had?
um i’d really only count like, one, so......1
24: Do you think love can last forever?
yeah i love happy old couples
25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?
um.......not really??? that’s like, a big statement, 
26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?
no because i dated someone my parents disliked for a long time
27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?
answered
28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?
absolutely tho i’m not huge on them for myself
29: What do you notice first about another person?
answered
30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?
me all the time: IM GAY AS HELL
but really i’m bi 
31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?
answered
32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?
haha........................................................................................yeah and it’s fucked up my entire psyche so (-:
33: Do you want to get married one day?
yeah!
34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?
sounds like a very bad idea and also wouldn’t even be like aesthetically pleasing so no thanks
35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?
probably? idk
36: Are you still a virgin?
no i’m a sinner
37: What's more important: Looks or personality?
personality but obviously i like people that i am physically attracted to so.....i mean its both but i am very big on personality which is why hookups arent rly my thing too much
38: Do you enjoy love films?
do i enjoy them? i will SOB at them, so, 
39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?
nope
40: Have you ever had a valentine?
answered i think
41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?
getting drunk and taking a nap together
42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?
i did for school in like 8th grade 
43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?
gotta get that balance. don’t neglect either of them
44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?
i call myself a hopeless romantic constantly
45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?
yes
46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?
fake concept. i had high school crushes that never went anywhere but that doesnt mean friendzoned really so no
47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?
i don’t pay attention to thos things honestly................mulder and scully
48: What's your favorite love song?
i have an entire playlist of love songs, hmu for it, but ummm probably first day of my life if thats considered a love song
49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?
eh. kind of. complicated
50: If you're single, why do you think you are?
i’m ugly
(bc i have been single for like...2 months and thos things dont come fast)
51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?
poor but nice guy 100%
52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?
ehhhhhhhhhhhhh not really i mean sometimes? i don’t know it depends on the situation 
53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?
LOL.............yes i am known to get kinda salty
54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)?
eh. i like having it be Official and known as a thing but other than that idk
55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?
i will cling to you with the force of a thousand suns (but try to play it cool and fail yikes)
56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?
nah he did that (side eye emoji)
57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?
me: i’m going to kill myself when we break up
so like, no, but don’t do it because i didn’t and that was a dumbass mindset
58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?
the MOST submissive you will ever meet, in your entire life, please dominate me
59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?
answered i think
60: What's your opinion on open relationships?
whatever works for u but probably not my thing
61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?
my siblings can fuck off but parents and partner are both important
62: How do you define "cheating"?
????????? is there more than one definition??? its fuckin cheating. dont flirt or do shit w other people. 
63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?
it doesn’t make me feel awesome to think about but it’s not like, an issue
64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?
me when im single: yes
me if i was in a relationship: NO (HEART EYES X1000)
65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?
WOULD I? CONSIDER????????????? I DONT CONSIDER ANYTHING. I KNOW FOR A FUCKING FACT I AM. i will cuddle 24/7 365 baby
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