#i totally didnt take 2 whole month to answer this

[daily-anemo]

okay so uH

//spoilers???

A while ago there were rumors about Scaramouche aka the balladeer, being a new anemo character, how r u all feeling about that?

They get along very well!

(Xiao was being held back by the others as he was about to murder the Wanderer.)

#daily 4nemo #its not even 4nemo anymore lmao #venti #scaramouche #wanderer #art #fanart #i totally didnt take 2 whole month to answer this #im back baby. give me more asks.

[kentuckyfriedsatan]

We exist…

Summary: Part 2 of exploring Mountains asexuality (can totally be read as stand alone)

Mountain is the quiet type of ghoul, gentle and considerate. And normally there is no problem with that. But when he hears the others talking about sex he spirals. Because what good is a creature of sin and lust who doesn’t want to have sex?

OR

Mountain having an identity crisis and finding out that he is asexual, then having a crisis again, Aether always being there for him, lots of crying and cuddling ahead!

no smut, only kissing and cuddling tw: talk about sex (very brief in the beginning), self deprecating thought and self hatred

Read it below the cut!

“Oh come on like you and Cirrus didnt fuck on the kitchen table last week.” Dew retorts hitting the multi ghoul while laughing.

“Heyyy that was her idea and we all know you would do it without thinking about it too!”

“Okay you got me there, but at least I haven’t traumatised some poor siblings of sin when you were chasing Rain through the ministry to pin him to the next best wall.”

“Yeah but just because you were to focused on blowing Copia in the confessional.” Rain chimed in.

Everybody was laughing…well everybody except the quiet earth ghoul, who was slowly sinking into himself more and more as the conversation continued.

“Okay okay yes but I just love giving head.”

“Oh we all know that Dew.” Swiss laughed.

“Actually not everybody…” the fire ghoul said teasingly while looking towards Mountain.

On every other day, Mountain could just shrug it off and laugh awkwardly. But not today. He hasn’t been in the right headspace for a few days now, he knows that, but he can’t seem to escape his spiral of bad thoughts. He can’t take this right now.

He stands on wobbly legs.

“Excuse me.” And leaves.

“What the fuck just happened?” Dewdrop asks.

“No idea.” Swiss answers.

“He seemed off for the whole conversation, I just figured he was tired from working in the greenhouse all day.” Aether says while replaying the evening in his head.

“Was I to forward with my flirting? ”

“First of all, that’s terrible flirting and second of all, I thought you two were sleeping together for months now.” Rain comments.

“We aren’t actually, we kiss and make out, but it never goes further. He pushes me away and of course I don’t pressure him into anything but I just don’t understand…everybody likes sex! How can somebody not love it? But Rain surely you had the pleasure to sleep with Mount.”

“No I haven’t…and now that I think about it, probably nobody has ever slept with Mountain that we know of.”

“Sad…” Swiss sighs. “I would love to be fucked by him. We are creatures of sin, of lust! He doesn’t really behave like us at all.”

“Hey hey we don’t know what’s going on inside Mountains head and we can’t judge him for his decisions or feelings. If he doesn’t want to have sex with us, then that doesn’t make him less of a ghoul okay?” Aether clarifies.

“Yes of course Aeth, we don’t think less of him because of it at all. I just want to understand, know why he rejects us.” Rain says.

“Rain is right, it’s his choice and I respect it. Just some times I think that I’m just not sexy enough for him to want me like that.” Dew whispers self consciously. Swiss hugs the little fire ghoul and reassures him that he is sexy as hell.

“I actually remembered something a fan told me once just now, I’m gonna go check in on mount and talk to him.” Aether says while standing up and leaving to go to the earth ghouls room.

**********

“We are creatures of sin, of lust! He doesn’t really behave like us at all.”

That is all the confirmation Mountains brain needs. He is broken, fucked up. A sorry excuse for a ghoul. Not even the one thing that should come natural to him, lust, sex, he is able to do. He’s spiraling downhill pretty fast now, Swiss’ words just gave him the last kick.

Wiping away the tears that have fallen while standing and listening in to his packs conversation, the earth ghouls stormes to his room and burrows himself under copious amounts of blankets.

Suddenly there is a knock on the door. He doesn’t answer.

“Hey Mountain, it’s me Aether. Can I come in?

Still he doesn’t respond, he doesn’t want to face his pack just yet.

“Mount? You’re scaring me. I will come in okay?”

Mountain sniffles loudly and the quintessence ghoul can’t help himself any longer and enters the room full of concern. He doesn’t see the earth ghoul at first, only a big shaking lump under the blankets.

“Please go away before I disappoint you all even more than I already have.”

Aethers heart breaks at that.

“What are you talking about Mount? I’m not leaving you like this. You didn’t disappoint anybody. Is this about our conversation earlier?”

He hears Mountain begin to sob now.

“Hey, hey Mounty, is it okay if I join you on the bed?”

Mountain wants to scream at Aether, tell him to go away, to just leave him, but he can’t. He is exhausted and he craves comfort even though he doesn’t think he deserves it anymore.

So he just nods his head and in an instant Aether is beside him on the bed.

“Do you want to cuddle Mounty? I was here to talk with you about something but let’s get you calmed down first okay?”

The small nod the earth ghoul gives him is enough for Aether to climb under the millions of blankets and scoop the gentle giant into his arms.

Mountain tries to turn his head away from the quintessence ghoul, to not let him see his tear streaked face, even though he is sure the other ghoul knows he has been crying.

“It’s okay Mountain, you can cry, I will hold you through it, no judgement what so ever. You can trust me.”

And Mountain buries his face in Aethers neck and just cries and cries. All his feelings of the last days streaming out of him. Aether strokes his back and whispers quietly “It’s okay, let it all out. I have got you.”

After what feels like hours, the sobbing eventually quiets down and Aether looks down at the ghoul in his arms. He cried himself into exhaustion, now sleeping on his chest, face still buried in Aethers neck. He decides to let the earth ghoul sleep, knowing he didn’t get a lot of rest the past week. They will talk in the morning, for now he just strokes Mountains short hair, hoping to sooth him in his dreams. It hurts Aether so much to see the people he loves suffering, he hopes he can help his earth ghoul in the morning.

**********

Mountain slept better than he has in a long time, considering he cried himself to sleep. But the soft rise and fall of Aethers chest and his gentle hand in his hair were the comfort he needed. Like that he could pretend that somebody could actually love him and want to be with him romantically. Mountain isn’t a fool, he knows his wishes won’t become reality, but sometimes he just wants to, no needs to, pretend.

“Good morning sleepyhead.”

Aethers soft voice breaks him out of his trance like state.

“Morning.” He mumbles.

“How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know.” He says truthfully shaking his head. Mountain doesn’t know what he feels right now. He is grateful for Aethers comfort, but at the same time it hurts to know that it’s all not real.

“And that’s okay Mount. Would you like to talk?”

Glassy green eyes search his purple ones.

“I don’t know what there is to talk about?”

“Maybe about why you thought you disappointed us last night? I’m really worried about you when you say stuff like that you know?”

Mountain groans. “It’s nothing, just let it go.”

“I’m sorry I can’t do that with a good conscience. I care about you, hell, the whole pack cares deeply about you, and we want you to be okay. You can tell me what’s wrong. I won’t tell anybody if you like to keep it private, but please let me help you.” Aether pleads.

Mountain doesn’t answer for a long time, so Aether shoots his shot.

“It’s about sex, isn’t it?”

Mountain winces at that and curls away from the quintessence ghoul. Seems like Aether hit the nerve.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me Aeth. I’m a failure of a ghoul. I must be broken, I can’t explain it differently. You all talk about how great it is to have sex and that it’s normal to want it. But I don’t want it! I don’t want to have sex, ever. I’m not normal and now you all will never be with me romantically. I should just go back to the pit, I can’t take it. Do you know what it’s like to love somebody and know they will never love you back because of your fucked up brain?”

“Oh Mount, do you think you are unlovable because you don’t want to have sex?”

“Yes of course!” Mountain snaps. “Sex has such a high significance when it comes to romance. You all love sex. We are not compatible Aether. Don’t you understand? I’m not compatible with anyone.” The earth ghoul sobs.

“That is so not true Mountain.” Aether says with a serious voice. “You can’t just assume our feelings for you, you know? And who says that love without sex doesn’t exist? For me it surely exists. I love you. More than a friend, and we have never slept with each other. I love you romantically just like I love Dewdrop and Rain and the rest of the pack. And sure I have sex with them because we like it, but that doesn’t mean that our romantic relationships are worth more than what you and I have, understood? I don’t want to ever have sex with you if you don’t want to.”

Mountain looks up into Aethers purple eyes to find a lie there, but there is nothing but affection and love.

“I…I love you too Aeth! And I love my whole pack.”

The quintessence ghoul smiles brightly at his lover.

“There is something I wanted to tell you actually, something I learned from a human fan a while back. You have heard about the queer community right?”

Mountain nods, waiting for Aether to continue.

“There is something called Asexuality. It’s the lack of any sexual attraction. Asexual people may be disgusted with the idea of having sex, some just don’t care about it and others have it because it can feel good physically. There is a whole spectrum. We can read about it more in detail if you want. If you think that you might be asexual.”

“Asexuality?” Mountains asks in disbelief. “There are people like me out there?”

“Yes there are, love, you are not alone with this.”

Mountain hugs Aether hard and cries with relief.

“I can’t believe it!” He says between sobs. “I’m Asexual!… But what does that mean for our relationships? Just because you can love me without sex, doesn’t mean the others can.”

“Haven’t you noticed Mounty? I can’t speak for them but you have to be blind to not see that they all love you to death. And yes I can’t pretend that some of us don’t have a high sex drive, but that doesn’t interfere with the love we have for you and each other. When we want sex, we search for somebody who wants to have sex with us. And if that is never you Mountain, then that is totally okay and we still love you. You don’t have to feel pressured into anything. We can do all the romantic things that you are okay with. You set the boundaries here. Is holding hands okay? Is kissing okay? Making out? You get the drift.

I think you should definitely talk with everybody about this. Clarify your romantic feelings and your boundaries. You will see that romance and love don’t have to go hand in hand with sexual intimacy. We can be intimate with one another in different ways. ”

“Okay, that’s a lot to process…”

Aether nods understandingly.

“You don’t have to know everything just yet. Do this in your time. You decide when you want to come out to the pack and if you want my help with that. But for now what do you think about more cuddles?”

“I would really enjoy that.” Mountain says and they cuddle into each other, face to face.

“I really want to kiss you right now Aether. I’m just scared that I could send off the wrong message.”

“You won’t. I know how you feel now and sex is completely off the table for me unless you specifically ask for it okay? Can I kiss you now?”

Mountain nods excitedly and they crash their lips together.

There is still a lot to figure out, but right now he feels loved and understood. Mountain has a good feeling about this new chapter in their relationship. And for the first time since forever he has hope that he is worth being loved, even without sex.

#ghost band #the band ghost #nameless ghouls #mountain ghoul #asexual #aether #mountain/aether #fanfic #coming out #kinda #more like coming out to oneself #aether is the sweetest #angst with a happy ending

[maddsmallow]

hi im gonna complain about people seeing hank and connor as father and son under the break so if you see them like that maybe dont read. like you do you but if this is gonna upset you then. dont fuckin read it lmao

if tumblr puts this in the fucking tags even tho i didnt tag it 1) im sorry, and 2) im gonna be fucking pissed im just trying to vent on my own got dang blog

cropped out the person who made these tags because i dont even know them and also im not a fucking asshole thats gonna put someone on blast like that but. this is the EXACT problem i have with hank and connor as father/son. i dont even mind connor seeing hank as a mentor or something like that (even tho i personally disagree with using the term "father figure"), but it's the "connor is like a new chance for hank to be a dad" that fucking gets me. do you not see all the different CANON reasons why that works completely against hank's character, and takes away connor's say in the whole situation?? hank IS a dad. he's a dad to a dead boy. basically his whole fuckin personality is him mourning over the loss of cole because he loves him SO much. you think he's gonna cling to the first mentee he's had since cole's death and immediately have him replace his dead fucking child? that's like, making hank give into some kind of fucked up delusion. that's mentol illness luv. imagine misunderstanding a character THAT badly.

and that isnt even getting into the whole "you're taking away all of connor's agency as a fully grown adult man" thing. he's not a child. he's an android that was activated only a few months ago, sure, but he was literally created to be like 27-33 or something. he deals with guns. he looks at pole dancers at the eden club. he works with murder scenes. you literally ARE taking away all of his agency as an adult man by seeing him as some little puppyboy that needs a dad to take care of him.

i mean of course you can take these characters and do whatever you want with them outside of canon, they're basically just barbie dolls lmao. but to claim that it's CANON that hank would think of connor as his own literal son, that he thinks that before the game's even over?? absolutely fucking not. those jokes of hank being like "who's my son?" and connor answering "me:)" and hank's relationship bar goes up, it's cute i guess but if that happened in the game? if that was a real choice in the game? hank would've shot connor without a second fucking thought. hell no hank would've thought connor was anything CLOSE to what cole was to him. hank straight up would've murdered the real connor and not even been upset about it when sixty told him so. david cage can eat my entire ass for agreeing that they're father and son, he just said that because he's a homophobic piece of shit, and that's literally the ONLY thing ever to point at them having that sort of relationship.

and i'm not gonna sit here and be like "but anyways here's all the reasons hank and connor are TOTALLY in love" because i dont actually think that's canon either. i'm just playing with them like barbie dolls lmao. my problem is people taking subtext that doesnt fucking exist of them being "like father and son" and claiming it's the be all end all of their whole relationship. their view of them as father and son is the ONLY way to see them. which is just not fucking true. there's NOTHING in canon to support them as being anything but close friends or enemies. that's it. and then they come onto these posts about hankcon, which obviously have NOTHING to do with them since they dont ship it, and tell the OP who ships them "fuck you." like?? you could have just scrolled. you could have just kept fucking scrolling. you fool. you moron. what happened to ship and let ship. just fucking move on, jesus christ. stop taking the time and effort out of your day to go out of your way to 1) make yourself upset by seeing this content and not just blacklisting it and blocking the posters, and 2) making someone else upset that you took the time to be a shithead on something that obviously wasn't even meant for you but made THEM happy. just stop !!! log off!! touch grass!! and this goes for hankcon shippers who do the same!! what the fuck is wrong with you!! we're all just here to vibe and love on these dork ass characters!!!!! fuck !!!!!!!!!!!

also it's super cringe when bryan dechart is playing the game and you're all screaming "wow best father son duo everrrrr" in the chat as if that also doesnt make bryan uncomfortable because he's gotta be super fucking careful about how he fuckin speaks about his character to everyone and not piss off all the rabid father-sonners by insinuating they're only friends. just. shut the fuck up. hankcon shippers who try to shove it in other people's faces also need to shut the fuck up. jesus fucking christ

IN OTHER WORDS. old man yells at cloud is basically me rn

^actual pic of me

anyways here's a cookie 🍪

#the blogger says words

[astranauticus]

ok one last post about the Project to truly exorcise it from my brain. just some process/design thoughts (also now that it's done if you want to read my liveblogged whinging for whatever reason here it is)

first off some stats because i kept stats like the nerd that i am:

time wise making this animatic took about 93.5 hours give or take (thanks procreate process replay) spread across exactly 2 months

anyway when i said i finished this project mostly through stubbornness and sunk cost fallacy this is what i meant lol like a lot of my thought process through this was just 'no way in hell am i letting some of these drawings disappear into my drafts forever'

on average each frame took about 2 hours 45 minutes but thats a bit of an overestimate since i forgot to count some of the animated bits from the first two lines (so id guess the actual number is more like.. 2 hours 20 minutes?)

btw that line with the starry apparition fading away? 12 hours total

the single longest and most painful frame to draw was the one of the crew walking through tu'narath (5 hours 30 minutes) because a. perspective b. architecture design c. for some reason i put a lot of detail into rendering the armour on all the githyanki i drew why on earth did i do that

(its especially painful bc that frame was one of the ones that didnt... feel like an important enough moment in the actual story of the show to be worth capturing the way the wish or even like, endellion is, i just needed to put that there for the storytelling flow or whatever of the animatic itself and it bothered me so much)

one other interesting little mishap was that i did all of these on canvas size 1080x720px (so that's why the youtube resolution isnt particularly high lmao) which is why procreate let me put an absolutely absurd amount of layers in one canvas (all 8 frames of with memories projected on the astral sea were done on one canvas. 159 layers) because the layer limit for that canvas size is 400 BUT. i accidentally started the starry apparition fade on an A4 canvas (my default canvas size for like all my normal fanart) and i only realised after finishing all the lineart and starting on colouring because i hit layer limit so i had to resize the canvas which did... interesting?? things to the lineart resolution

also if youre wondering how i drew K-LB that many times in something resembling timely fashion the answer is i sacrificed some... amount of sleep to 3d model and rig him in blender which. honestly? i consider it a roaring success

splitting the frames by bar was a Choice and certainly a choice ive.. had doubtsTM about but thats the kind of thing you cant really change without bringing the whole project crashing down so if the frames seem to move a bit too fast im so sorry there was really not much i could do there

idk if people actually noticed the very very tiny drawings of the crew moving around on the ship in the 4th line especially since they sometimes get obscured by the subtitles but the REASON for that is in my original drawings the subtitles went in the top left corner but they kept conflicting with other stuff so i just gave up and threw them to the bottom (also i originally included the chinese lyrics but then i got lazy lmao)

anyway that little detail like VR-LA angstily looking at the sea reminiscing about the JourneyTM and the crew sort of appearing along with the memories of their adventures together was one of those things that seemed SO COOL in my head but once i actually execute it its like. hmmmm not sure if that worked out the way you thought it would buddy. also the tiny crew was EXTREMELY hard to draw so put that down as another point in 'me subjecting myself to deeply painful and out there compositions for no good reason'

anyway i called this my magnum opus but i do actually have some thoughts about another one (a companion piece, if you will) for another song by the same band because now that i know what capcut can do im.. really itching to try something a little different because this like powerpoint presentation style? fully a product of me using iMovie as my only available video editing software for the past like 7 years of my life

#rwd #asto speaks #re: the projectTM #one last time using this dumbass tag lmao #honestly? also put another point in 'i worked on a project for so long it became just a Project to me and proceeded to get #absolutely blindsided by the emotional affect it has on people' #2 months. 2. months. #whatever actual emotion this idea was originally trying to draw from is long fucking gone buddy #like i did manage to re-experience some of it looking at the finished product but #i appreciate yalls screaming a lot i just truly did not anticipate it LMAO

[thisdreamplace]

How did you reach a place where you can be happy and full of love no matter what? I hate feeling like I’ll be unsatisfied if my desires don’t manifest. I wish I could feel totally complete without them.

honestly by being willing to totally allow myself to surrender and let go and... allow. allow in general. you have to start to value yourself more than you value whatever manifestation u think will be the trick to fixing ur life. i will be completely transparent in saying i experienced a lot of heartache and pain on this journey as a whole, mostly from the fact i was the same way for a while. i put my wholeness into the manifestations without even realizing i was doing so. so i feel for everyone who gets stuck there bc sometimes u truly think ur doing things for urself but deep down, ur still living for the hope of a desire materializing. through all this time, i cried a lot but i also broke new heights of love, peace, and beauty. and i feel so much more stable and trusting of myself than i ever have. accept that this is a journey and you're just gonna have to be there for yourself, along for the ride ! <3

to be specific, on what i actually did, i firstly took a break off tumblr as some of you know. and i immediately started questioning everything and asking myself for the answers. things that didnt feel right to me i started to reject, and i started to accept things that everyone in the community made fun of. because i didnt care about anyone's beliefs anymore, i just knew it was time for me to live a life i actually wanted. and what was popular in the community was hurting more than helping. so i went all in ! i also allowed myself to revisit topics like deattachment and letting go, which actually helped a ton. after a couple months of starting to challenge my old belief system, i started to actually live again. (yall got a light taste of this energy when i did "love me february" earlier this year bc i slowly started doing new things) i started to push myself out of my comfort zone and go do things in real life, rather than sitting in my room telling myself "i dont have to lift a finger ! if i just sit in here in my mind it will surely happen" (i got tired of telling myself that after 2 years of a rather stagnant-feeling life) so i said fuck it and started doing things. which only snowballed because then i got comfortable doing things. and now ive had so much fucking fun in my life in just the past couple months. i only say that because it still blows my mind n i am beyond thankful for my experiences this year !

what i would like to help yall understand more than anything is this life was meant to be lived and experienced, period. without even realizing it, a lot of us do put life on hold because we're too busy worrying about our manifestation arriving because we put so much weight into that being the thing that will finally be the pinnacle of happiness for us, we ignore everything else already in front of us. its truly a thing like. take it step by step, little things that are out of your norm and you will see the way life responds to you so beautifully ! i love experiencing myself through others and life as a whole n not just thru my mind sitting on my bed everyday !! its great !! but it wasnt some manifestation that got me out there, it was me being done with waiting on shit to change. i just went out there to see what happens, while also keeping my spiritual practice important to me, and it was like magic tbh.

so to simplify. challenge what doesnt feel right. allow what feels right. and allow yourself to actually live and experience life along the way. nothing that is in front of you at this moment, is an obstacle or something you need to pretend isnt there. take what you have and let it be part of what guides you. make that your goal. feeling complete. (or whatever you want, really) when that is your goal, instead of your desire, you wake up everyday and make decisions based on your true self. not that egotistic urge for results.

i hope this helps ! <3 you so deserve to live a full life, no matter what is in front of you. and the thing is that what the greats say is so true. you dont need to be so focused on a desire to force it into being. life responds to you perfectly when youre just busy loving yourself and making the most out of each day. :') things just happen with ease and so beautifully. <3

idky but this q also gives me this post’s vibes hehe ;-;

[throwingmuses]

need 2 vent about the shit show that was the doctors appt i had yesterday 🤩 cw for weight ment and other eating disorder stuff

ok so basically its been an extreme pain to get into this ed program because i need medical clearance (including blood work) before i can start bc the clinic isnt equipped to help treat medical issues. essentially i have to have a doctor order the blood test or else id have to pay out of pocket and order the tests myself (which i definitely dont have the money for rn), but the soonest appointment my doctor had available was over a month out. so i tried going to several of those walk in clinics and all of them gave me some convoluded answer essentially saying they couldnt help me. finally i found someplace that let me make an appointment with another doctor that was a bit sooner than my other one, so i went ahead and did that. i walked into it expecting it to be pretty brief, and i was confused at first why the doctor was doing a psych assessment when all i needed was a quick physical checkup??? but i was really tired and confused so i just went along with it anyways. from the second i walked in the doctor seemed very irritated and was acting rude for literally no reason. i tried to just let it roll off my shoulders because i desperately needed someone to just order these goddamn blood tests and sign a paper saying im good to go. but then, when she asked me my current height/weight, i told her that i was 5'4 and 120lb, to which she actually fucking responded by saying "Wow, you weigh more than me!" which was EXTREMELY TRIGGERING and has been fucking haunting me in the form of obsessive thoughts ever since. she also implied that my current therapist/psychiatrist wasnt very informed because shes a recent graduate when in reality shes the most knowledgable and up front psych ive ever had and this bitch who thinks shes the hot shit didnt even know that there were different types of bipolar disorder. clearly her "knowledge" of psychology as a whole is extremely outdated. anyways towards the end of the meeting, she told me straight up that the clinic probably wouldnt accept me because im at a healthy weight which is total bullshit because thats not how it works whatsoever and i was already ACCEPTED into the program regardless of my weight. ive had this issue a lot over the years with providers not believing that im anorexic because ive never lost a significant amount of weight and the worst medical issue ive had was having low potassium and almost passing out at work, and im forever fucking baffled as to why that is because i often eat less than 1000 calories per day. like im grateful for my body continuing to take care of me despite all of the hell i put it through, but just because im healthy on paper doesnt mean this shit doesnt terrorize me on a daily basis. anyways at that point i just fucking snapped (which is very out of character for me cuz im rather shy) and i told her that she had no idea what she was even talking about, that anyone with half a brain let alone a degree in psychology shouldnt talk to someone with an eating disorder like that (which she KNEW i had walking into this bc thats what the whole appointment was about), and explaining to her that the stress i have around food is ruining my life and preventing me from doing pretty much anything i want/have to do. after yelling at her she changed her disposition entirely and started acting like a dog with its tail between its legs which was pretty gratifying at least. i was like openly sobbing very loudly afterward tho and like everyone in the office could hear me which i found to be embarassing but Oh Well. then me and my bf talked to her supervisior and told them what happened and they were actually very receptive and apologetic so heres to hoping she gets fired (: also she wasnt even a fuckin doctor so the whole thing was pointless but luckily i got an earlier appointment with my doctor cuz someone cancelled But Yeah Ive Been Fucked Up Ever Since

[itfitsitshipsart]

Hi there, just doing my part by enabling you to talk about your dearest Raven some more!!! I'd love if you could answer all asks for the ice cream game for him please (unless that's wayy too much, which I get lol, so then if so pick your faves)!!!! Forgive my eagerness but your s/i and him are like my fave tov otp, I love hearing more about them 😊💞

( @pixelselfships )

Aw, ya making me blush saying that~ >3< and please, don't apologize!

Vanilla- What's something you do with your f/o that makes you feel at peace?

Long walks in the woods and picnics, especially if they're paired together! There's just something so wonderful about walking through a forest holding the hand of the one you love, talking with them and listening to the birds and everything.

2. Chocolate- How long have you known your f/o?

irl its been... 2 and a half years now? As for my S/I, it depends on where in the timeline, as I've already got 3 fan kids (4 total because Karol is our son whether he likes it or not! XD)

3. Strawberry- What's a memory you two share that makes you smile no matter what?

First kiss and sweet love confessions. It was right after the events of the game and the world was saved, and that night there were just so many stars in the sky. (I have a partially written fic... I should fix that up and post it sometime )

4. Mint Chip- What's something that you disagree with your f/o on?

fashion. Now I will say his style has grown on me, and he can pick his own ensembles sometimes quite well. But... his scruffy appearance and brash color and pattern choices he goes for at times. He loves it XD and I... well I love him. I have to say though that when he dresses up and it's not so garish, oh I melt in his arms.

5. Cookie Dough- What's yours and your f/os' love languages?

My love languages are very much quality time and touch, and a bit of verbal expression as well. As for Raven, he is also big on touch, as well as verbal expression and gift giving. He's learned though that I feel very awkward about unprompted gifts, unless they're something like pretty flowers or a cool rock from off the ground.

6. Moose Tracks- What does a typical night in look like for you two?

lots and lots of snuggling! Raven might have a little something to drink, or I'll have some tea and he'll join me, and we'll just cuddle in bed and talk.

7. Cherry- Who does the cooking and who does the cleaning?

we both cook, I tend to do it a bit more because I enjoy it more. That leaves Raven with cleanup (and Karol I have to note helps with both if he's home)

8. Salted Caramel- How long did it take for you to realize you liked your f/o? Or vice versa, how long did it take them to say something if they spoke up first?

in irl, it took a few weeks I believe, though surprisingly I felt no attraction upon first seeing him (usually I feel some sort of aesthetic attraction first meeting). I actually though that, by appearances, I'd possibly fall for a totally different character. But when he joined the party, and I started to main as him, I started to think he was really funny and then cute, and before i knew it, he swept the rug out from under me.

as for my S/I, it took a month or so as well of being around Schwann. Several months into knowing him she tried to initiate a kiss that he turned down. Not because he didnt like her, but he felt he couldn't and shouldn't kiss her. She chased him for a good year (some confusing feelings for some time because the whole Schwann is Raven thing) and waited for him so she could confess once more. And that time he was in a better place and happily accepted and reciprocated.

#all my heart ❤ #answered asks #answered ask

[mtfstuff]

'Why didnt I thought of this...' I said to myself. I forgot to refuel my motorcycle... now I sit here and my tank is empty.

I got off and started pushing it down the street. Still 147 miles to the next gas station.

After some time I've heard a truck coming closer. It stopped next to me and the window got let down. A fat man with beard revealed himself.

"Everything okay?", he asked.

"My tank is empty.", I replied.

"I was on my way to the next gas station. Hop in, I can take you with me.", he said smiling.

I was a bit hesitant.

"What about my bike?", I asked.

"We can secure your motorcycle in the trailer."

"That would be great!"

"Allright, you can meet me at the parking spot in front of us."

He drives away and parks about 150 meters in front of me. I push my bike towards it. The trailer is already open as I arrive and the driver gets out of his cabin.

He was a head shorter and definitely older than me.

We stowed my bike and entered the driver cabin again.

"Thank you for taking me with you.", I said when he started the truck.

"It's always a pleasure to help young men in dificult situations.", he replied.

What a wierd response, I thought.

We drove a short time when he started to do small talk.

"I'm Pete. What is your name?", he asked.

"I'm Jordan.", I replied.

"Nice to meet you Jordan. May I ask if you are from around here? I dont see people on a bike her often. Oh, and how old are you? You seem pretty young."

I was getting suspicious of him. Who would ask such things a stranger? Maybe he just doesnt like silence. I shrug.

My testicle started to itch, what an inopportune time, I thought. Maybe I shouldnt have worn my jockstrap today. I pulled on the tight leather around the area to stop the itching.

From the corner of my eye I saw how he was watching me. To distract him I answered.

"No, I'm not from around here. I'm driving through the whole country right now. And I'm 26."

"You could be my son with that age. I'm twice as old as you.", he said and chuckled. "So you're doing a roadtrip. Alone?"

"I started with a friend but he left. Now I'm doing it alone."

"Alright."

Some minutes of silence again. I enjoyed it.

"You can put your feet up if you want.  Or take your boots off if they are too uncomfortable or too warm.", he said out of nowhere.

That was strange, but a nice offer.

"Thanks, but they are in fact really comfortable.", I answered.

Silence again, I hope this time for longer.

His phone rang and he picked it up. From his responses it sounded like it was a friend.

"Is it okay for you if we do a small stop soon? I have to pick up a friend?", he asked me after hanging up.

I looked around to find out where he should fit in this cabin. Pete noticed that.

"If you pull the curtains behind you to the side you can see a bed. It would be nice if you stay there until I put him down again.", he said.

"Alright, I'll do it.", I answered.

I pulled the curtains to the side and a gross looking bed got revealed. It had so many stains and chips leftovers. I took a step towards it as I thought that it wouldnt take long but then I felt a sting in my right ass cheek. As I turn around I see how Pete empties a syringe into my butt. I tried to get away but I already started to stumble and fell mostly onto the bed.

Pete parked the truck at the side of the road and closed the window curtains.

"I'm sorry Jordan, but you are really my type.", he said with a dark grin.

I tried to move but I couldnt. i tried to scream but I could only get out a whimper.

"I injected you with my own creation. It paralyzes every muscle except the heart.", he said.

He now took my legs and put them onto the bed so that I laid straight on it. He run his fingers all over my body. From my pecks to my feet. He took the zipper from my one-piece-racing-suit and pulled it down till he reached my belly button. He stared for a long time at my abs and then he started to massage and lick them. It kinda felt good, I didnt had such intimate body contact in a long time. I tried to imagine my girlfriend licking my six pack instead of an old creepy guy but it didnt really work.

As he was finished he grabbed my left foot and pulled my boot off. It kinda turned me on. The second it came off I could smell my feet and it was a strong smell. Hey, I never took them or the suit off the whole last week as they were super comfortable and the motels I stayed at never had a shower.

He raised it to his nose and took some deep breaths. I noticed how his dick raised in his jeans and he noticed too. Ho opened his pants and put his dick out. It was pretty small.

"I'll clean it up. I promise.", he said as he took my gloved hand to wank while sniffing my boot. He shot his load all over my abs. When he finished he took a wet warm rug to clean my body. It felt great. Then he put my boot back on. I hoped that he would make me able to move again as he pulled out another syringe.

"You know Jordan, now that I played with and observed your body,  I came to the conclusion that you'll be the new me.", he said.

I was shocked. What does he want? Does he have a body swap machine somewhere? Dear god, I hope not.

"You'll be my first body suit. I got this serum from the black market.", he told me. I tried to move but nothing even twitched. He put the syringe on my neck and with the other hand pressed my cock the last time.

"Dear god, thats huge!", he shouted as he emptied the syringe.

He took a step back to look at me nervously.

I started to feel my body tingle and then it started. I saw how my chest started to deflate, followed by my legs, arms and head. Pete cheered.

As the transformation finished he lifted me, well my empty skin from the bed, causing my biker clothes to slip completely off.

He sniffed my armpit and groaned. After that he took his clothes of and started to feel for my asshole. He went head first into me. At first it hurt but it felt good shortly after. I felt how his chubby legs filled out my muscular legs, how his fat belly pressed against my well formed abs, how his small dick grew to fill up my huge cock and how his beard tingled for a short time as he slipped his head inside mine.

As he finished he let out a loud moan, but it was my voice.

"I cant wait to put all of this on. I'm sorry Jordan that you had to be it but you were totally my type: tall, good looking, muscular and wearing a racing suit.", I heard my voice saying.

So he knew that I'd be conscious after he put me on. I dont want this life as a suit.

He took my jockstrap and my thick wool socks and put them on. The socks were wet and cold. Probably because I wore them non stop even at these high temperatures. He took the suit and put it on. After that he lifted my, now his feet, to smell them one last time before he put my boots on. He finished with my gloves and went back behind the steering weel.

He drove close to the gas station, took my bike, filled it up and drove as myself away.

Now almost 2 months later, I almost got used to being worn. At first it felt really weird, as if I'm the boot but after a while I enjoyed it. I had no duties anymore. Pete only took me off once since that day and I can feel how he enjoys being inside me. He loves wearing my clothes, especially the racing suits and normal suits. He loves driving with the motorcycle through the whole country.

Sometimes, when he feels alone he even talks to me. He knows that I cant answer but he just wants to get things off his chest while knowing that someone is listening.

He took me off at my birthday, maybe because of sympathy or because he didnt know how to act that day if he would've met someone from my old life that day.

Now he is making money off of instagram by posting pictures of him in my body suit to finance his motorcycle trips.

#body switch #male body switch #body swap #male body swap #male possession #possession #possessed #bodysuit #male body transformation #male transformation #male body suit #body suit #skinsuit #male skinsuit

[wizkiddx]

Blurb req- Tom and the reader on a private jet hungover? just pure fluff?

fluffy requests are well and truly open ( bcos I adored writing this ahah) and let me know what u think , I am deff not a writer so any feedback or tips would be v appreciated :))

summary: tomhollandxactress!reader - a wrap party followed by an early morning flight and a grumpy Harry, what could possibly go wrong?

warning: mentions of alcohol and sickness

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

The remorse. The regret. It only made the pounding in your head even worse. Why those two 1.5 litre bottle of Bacardi had been brought out was beyond you. Why the you six of you had then decided to empty said bottle was even more of a mystery. It wasn’t like any of you had needed it, you’d all been more than ‘merry’ prior to the cheap rum and coke. 

Hence the state of you, Tom and Harry as well as your manager Davey and Tom’s team of Rachel and Andrew. All having made very little effort with your appearance - joggers and hoodies all round, with you and Rachel also sporting sunglasses because you were simply smarter than the boys. Thankfully, this wasn’t a big trip that fans knew about, this was you and Tom moving location under cover  - the studios didnt want anybody to know that either of you made a feature in this film, so everything was under the cover of darkness. Which to be honest you were not complaining about. However, you were complaining about the fact the flight had been scheduled to leave at 7 am the night after your wrap party though.

The two of you had just wrapped your most recent and most ambitious movie to date - hence the massive celebrations last night for just surviving and getting it done. It had been the most intense 3 months of your life, there had been times you’d cry for hours on end, times you just wanted to quit fully knowing you’d never be hired again for leaving a multimillion dollar company in the lurch.But you all, somehow, had survived. So celebrations were in order of course but perhaps not as far as you all managed last night?

Your whole convey appeared to have travelled to the airfield in absolute silence, no one particularly fancied hearing anyone else’s voice- which to be honest seemed quite fair. You’d ridden in a car with Tom and Harry, with you resting your head on Tom’s broad shoulder - which had obviously made Harry gag, rolling his eyes. Bless Harry, really he was the only reason you and Tom had got together, after getting sick of the mutual pining he’d been forced to live with during the previous 2 projects you’d worked on together. But now, having had to put up with the two of you being so ridiculously loved up for the past 3 months - understandably a bit of distance from you and his brother was overdue. 

One of the flight attendants busied themselves loading your luggage, whilst the pilot asked you and Tom for a photo. Of course, you weren’t going to say no however you did have to cringe at how rough you both looked. His teenage daughter certainly would be less excited to see that her Dad hadn’t met Tom Holland and Y/n Y/l/n. Instead he’d met the zombified, undead and rougher frauds. Still you smiled as much as you could, wincing when you removed the glasses and the early morning sun pierced your restricted pupils. God it wasn’t your day. 

The guy didn’t seem to mind though, excitedly hurrying off onto the plane to settle in the rest of you - leaving just you and Tom outside on the tarmac. 

“Poor guy, we look like shit.” You murmured while taking a step closer to lean slightly into his side. 

“Speak for yourself love.’Tom snickered into the top of your head, after pulling you completely into his chest. This wasn’t normally allowed, your relationship still wasn’t public and both of you intended on keeping it private for as long as possible. But you were in an otherwise empty field in the middle of nowhere (somewhere in Georgia) before 8 am. It was actually quite nice to feel your boyfriends arms round you in the outside world, especially when you felt this shit. After a few moments you pulled away, arching back at Tom’s pouty face as you motioned it was time to get on the plane. 

“’S too late you know.” Your brows furrowed at his half formed sentence, facial expression only demanding him to explain more. “They all have already taken the good seats… Harry basically sprinted on so he can hog the bed thing.” In response it was your turn to pout, groaning as you fell back into his chest again. Yes, this was a complete first world issue, a private jet paid completely by your bosses was not something a lot would moan about. Truly you were grateful for everything you had in life, but with the worst hangover of your life when the opportunity of lying down for 6 hours instead of being stuck in a chair had manifested itself… well of course you felt robbed by your almost brother Harry. 

Chuckling at your reaction, he gave you an extra squeeze before leading the both of you up the stairs to the cabin. Sure enough Harry had completely and totally claimed the longer couch at the far end of the plane, lying on his stomach with his face hidden in the crook of his elbow. Rolling your eyes at the predictable situation, you didn’t miss Davey laughing at your sorry state - nmaking you throw daggers at him in your eyes. 

Davey was your second father, the relationship between the two of you far transcended any professional working one. Which is why the two of you acting like this was very much a norm and not rude at all. He had also got the next best seat in the corner with the most leg room which he clearly loved to show off. 

Unsurprisingly then you and Tom ended up squashed into the corner with your legs crumpled up together in the small space floor space. The brunette opposite you didn’t seem to mind so much but that was because he had an adaptational advantage. He could sleep anywhere and everywhere , whenever he wanted. On set if he was tired? Just take a ten minute power nap on the floor. Bored of a long car journey? Just conk out against the window. It absolutely infuriated you, as no matter how hard and how exhausted you were - it was rare you could get any further than a light doze. Even before the two go you got together, having a best mate that could skip all the boring bits and was immune to jet lag… you can see how that makes you want to punch him square in the face.

After a short safety talk from the pilot and flight attendant, the plane whirred into life and you were up in the air. Although in your current state, it would be reasonable to assume the beauty of flying had somewhat rubbed off - you were certain it never would. No matter how many flights you took across country ,and in fact continents, for work; you’d never get sick of watching the view below you. It was perfect and breathtaking and took your mind off the pounding in the back of your head for the first 20 minutes.

Until the need for sleep took over as either you need to be unconcious or you were going to vomit - which you really didn’t want to do at 40,000 feet in a tin box. Trying to rearrange your limbs to get comfier you accidentally knocked Tom’s leg rather forcefully, causing him to jump half out his seat, heavy eyes blinking quickly as he tried to get his baring as to what was attacking him - quickly answered by your guilty look. 

“You okay love?” His voice was slurred, sounding almost sleep drunk - but perhaps was just actually still a little drunk. You’d only headed to bead last night at 4 am and had to be up at 6 - which isnt very long for your poor kidneys to try and process the stupid amount of alcohol you’d both  happily been chugging the night before.

“Feel shitty and cant sleep.” You weren’t in the mood to white lie - honestly some sympathy from your beautiful boyfriend seemed like a dream at the moment. Tom’s idea was better though.

“C’mere then.” His arms outstretched, you immediately jumped into his lap - the two of you shifting about to get comfortable till you were sat side on to him, your bum and back leaning against the arm rest of the chair with your legs going over his thighs and pressing against the wall of the plane. Pulling you closer to his chest, Tom took a deep breath as he pressed his chin against the crown of your head; your face now nested into his chest. 

Nothing needed to be said as the two of you melted into each others bodies, the slow and deepening breathing enough to prove to each other you were both incredibly contented in that moment. More than that you felt safe- you’d admitted to Tom some weeks ago that you had never ever slept better than when he was beside you. Yeh it was cringey but sometimes that’s allowed right? 

… well not to Harry. Because as the plane was about to begin it’s descent, the pilot had tasked Harry (who had slept off the worst of the hangover and had spent the last 30 minutes of the flight scoffing at how adorable the two of you looked fast asleep together) - even after Rach had scalded him and had taken a photo of the two of you on her phone. 

Causing Harry to ,ever subtly, wake the two of you up by throwing his half empty water bottle over your heads. 

Safe to say, Harry very nearly didn’t leave that jet alive.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland x actress!reader #harry holland

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: January 17th, 2021 (Part 1)

More ask answers! It’s gonna be a lot today, so we’re splitting it into two.

i love Cliff and Kyra's relationship so much ?? even though they had issues they managed to work things out and remain friends through the years! it's so refreshing over the narrative of people resenting each other after they break up.. im kind of curious tho , do they see each other strictly platonic now or is there still something lingering?

Aw, I’m glad to hear you like their relationship. Their feelings are very platonic now. Kyra views him as an ex and co-parent and then a friend as time goes on. Cliff does struggle not to think of her as still his family, even though he’s not romantically attracted anymore. But he’s knows it might be crossing a line to be that attached to a woman who divorced him and so he tries to let her just live her own life.

Can i ask just how tall Cove exactly is in Step 3? And will he be even TALLER in Step 4? My short heart cannot handle this. (Also this game is absolutely flawless and I haven't been able to stop thinking abt it since I played. Planning on getting the dlcs soon, y'all did SO WELL!!!!!!!!!) 

Haha, thank you very much.

Step 1: 4'1 feet Step 2: 5'4 feet Step 3: 6'0 feet Step 4: 6'4 feet 

Hey! So, I know Steam is having its fall sale/boxing day sale or something so i was wondering if you guys were gonna participate in that?? I was thinking of buying XOXO Droplets (the extended version) but i didnt want to do anything before there was a potential sale. May seem like an odd question, but I was genuinely curious. I can't wait to play the full game when i get it tho :D

I’m afraid we have some things we wanna fix in XOXO Droplets before really promoting it/pushing it with sales, so for now it won’t be participating in Steam sales. Hopefully we can update it soon.

Hello I'm still trying to get the CG for Step 2-3 and didn't see or get it when I told Cove of the deal in the Dinner moment like your guide says. I got the achievement but no CG. Is there another choice I'm suppsed to make after telling him?

Make sure you go back to the house with Cove after he leaves and don’t stay in your living room.

* don't be suspicious* *don't be suspicious*  ...Hi, there's another way to pay for the Our Life +18 dlc besides Patreon? Patreon have very limited payment options and I've been struggling with the platform. Anyways, thanks for the amazing game I hope I could support any way ^u^

Haha, right now there isn’t anything specific, but once it’s finished in a few months we’ll look into other hosting sites.

do you think we can get another our life dlc plzzz i would pay so much for it <3 i want to see their life together when they have kids or pets or just live with the two of them and i really want them to adopt kids too since jamie is adopted :)

I’m afraid we likely won’t. As much as we love OL: B&A, we’ve gotta start putting our whole effort into new projects soon. Maybe someday we could come back and do special new content, but it’d be quite awhile after all the planned DLCs have released.

How do you delete a save file? 

On PC or Mac you hover over a slot and hit the delete key, or you can go into the saved data folder and delete the files directly. On Android I’m afraid I don’t know. You can save over them with something else, though.

this is like. totally embarrassing and silly to ask but im dying here; i love cove so much i wanna climb that boy like a tree. so basically what im asking here is like. will the nsfw dlc have explicit stuff or is it more like an implied kinda situation? cuz i want some full on nsfw shit im so thirsty for cove and only this can satisfy me

It’s truly 18+ and explicit with nude art and straightforward descriptions of sexual acts. That’s why we can’t release it as part of the main game, haha. I’m glad you’re into Cove~

Hello! I've really been enjoying Our Life and am noticing some animation changes with the update! I just had a question though. In Step 2 we meet Jeremy but I was wondering if he was only meant to appear in Step 2 as a typical mean kid or is there more we don't know? 

Jeremy is a horrible pill in Our Life, but he is also a beloved romance option as a teenager in our other game XOXO Droplets. His personality is quite different once he grows up more. I imagine Cove and the MC would be pretty surprised.

Hi! i absolutely adore our life so far and I can't wait to continue supporting the game with the upcoming dlc drops! i was just wondering if y'all were planning on uploading any art for steam icons/the steam point shop in general<3 

Thank you! And we might. But we’re first trying to focus on making a new game update since there are still some improvements we have in mind.

I hope this question doesn’t come off weird but would Cove be the type of guy to memorize your period? I imagine he’d be the kind of best friend/boyfriend who would keep track of your cycle to support you during it or something like that 

We’d be shy about it at first and avoid mentioning what he was doing, but he would try to keep track of it based on any insight the MC gave him. The longer you’re with him, the more it could be just a normal thing the two openly talked about.

Hi there, how often do you do auditions? I am a voice actor and would love to be part of a project ?

We usually have auditions two to three times a year. Our next planned casting call will be for side character in Our Life Step 4.

Are the 5 moments included in the Derek and Baxter DLCs different from the normal Step 2 and 3 DLC? And will they focus exclusively on Derek and Baxter respectively? I was a little confused when I read the DLC FAQ. Thanks! 

Mostly they’ll be completely new Moments that star Derek or Baxter. Though, for example, Derek’s DLC will allow you to take him to the Soiree. If you go with Derek that will remove your ability to go with Cove in the Cove Step 2 DLC.

Sorry if you've already said this, but how will your character transfer over to the patreon exclusive NSFW DLC?  Can it access your game memory or will you select traits your character showed and choices you made from a list? 

It’s a standalone event that happens for MCs who are in a relationship with Cove and have been dating him for a while. Other details about the MC/their dynamic with Cove will just be picked in the event itself. It won’t try to take data from a specific save in the actual game.

I love your games, but currently only have an Android. When will you put your other games on android? 

I don’t know. They might not able to be formatted for Android very well, unfortunately. We’ll see how much time we’ve got later this year to try figuring it out.

Thank you so much for all the questions :D

#ask #asked #our life #Our Life Beginnings & Always #ourlifeba #gb patch #gb patch games

[nikrangdan]

cafeworker!ni-ki

pairing: cafeworker!ni-ki x female reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: the cashier at the new coffee shop was so adorable you just couldn’t resist visiting just for him

**did not proofread

————

contrary to popular belief, you were NOT a social person

whenever you were around friends and family, you were always the loudest person there

like SHUT UP Y/N!!!!!!

anyways although you were loud, people still enjoyed being around you because you had such a sweet soul and interesting humor

everyone close to you knew that you hated talking to people you didnt know

but to all the strangers? no

they would think you were an outgoing ready-to-meet-new-people extrovert

which was so, so wrong

but ALAS, you had to talk strangers almost everyday living in 2020

(well lets pretend we arent in the middle of a pandemic right now)

moving on......

so you were in high school at the downfall of your existence

you used to have so many friends when you were younger ..now you only have like 3

and those three were always busy (busy making up excuses thats for sure) so you never really hung out with them outside of school

and on one fine evening after school you decided to visit the new cafe 5 minutes from your house

u were really excited because all the cafes were 15 minutes from your house so now u could just walk to this one if u wanted to !!!

but yeah it was in the middle of a small plaza that had cute buildings

you pulled up to the parking lot and was just about to get out the car when u remembered..

u have to talk to the cashier :/

who’s a stranger! even more ://

it was always so weird to you.. whenever you went out you always had someone else order for you because you just hated talking to strangers

you just felt uncomfortable and you couldnt help it

its not like you have never ordered for yourself but you would always prefer not to

and now that you think about it

this is the first time you have gone out by yourself

you did text one of your friends beforehand but they said they “had homework to do”

LIES!!!!

but you really wanted to try the coffee so you just ran with it

time to face your fears!

you opened the glass door to reveal a cute looking cafe, like the ones you’d see in movies

you loved it already

glancing to the cashier you’d have to be talking to—

hold on

you had to do a double take because WOAH.....

the cashier...

he....

wow..

you have never seen a boy like that in your life

you stood there for like 3 seconds before coming to your senses and standing infront of the menu

that was infrONT OF HIM

“hi, what can i get for you?”

HIS VOICE OH MY GOD..!?!?!

“oh um.. can i get a second to .. look..?”

“yeah of course,” he gestured to the menu on the wall above him

hes so nice u almost cried

your eyes shakily traveled up to the chalkboard menu and u began to ‘read’ the options

its like u could feel his eyes on u WTF!!!!

um um um *internally keyboard smashes*

you couldnt even think

the words on the menu were like gibberish

the ONE time u go out by yourself

this had to happen.. of course! someone had it out for you, you were sure of it >:(

picking a random drink you gave him your order

“uh can i have an iced caramel macchiato?”

ITS LIKE YOU CANT SAY A SENTENCE WITHOUT UH OR UM

u cant help but think hes judging you

he looks like that while u are standing there in old sweatpants your dads tshirt

“sure, what size?” he looks into your eyes after putting your order into the machine

god you felt your heart stop

his Eyes..... theyre so beautiful

“oh um regular” you attempted to give a small smile

hopefully it looked like one

“okay that’ll be $5.12.”

you dug out some cash from your bag and handed it to him

he gave u your change and gave u a small smile

“your drink will be out in a minute”

AAAAA

he went :)

he is so CUTE.....?!?!

he looked around your age too

sigh... you knew he was way out of your league though

you were gushing over him but he probably thought you were just another boring customer

while waiting u sat at one of the 2 person tables on your phone

and u IMMEDIATELY went to text your groupchat

‘GUYS’

‘AT THE CAFE NEAR MY HOUSE’

‘CUTEST BOY IVE EVER SEEN EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE’

‘WTF IM GONNA CRY HOW DOES HE EXIST’

‘WAIT BRB HE S COMIBBG’

you tried to quickly put your phone down without looking suspicious when you saw him walking towards you with a drink in his hand

“here you go, enjoy” he said before swiftly making his way back to the counter and talking to the other worker there

wow... hes so mesmerizing

you’d steal glances at him every now and then while taking sips of your drink

you were sitting there for like 20 minutes before you noticed you finished your drink

you totally forgot you came here to see how good their coffee was

it was good by the way

sadly it was your time to leave

taking one last glance at him, you threw away your empty cup and walked out the door

wow

u cant believe you got to witness the most beautiful human being ever

in your small town?? crazy

you were sitting in your car just thinking

WAIT

U DIDNT EVEN KNOW HIS NAME!

you mentally punched yourself but then you started laughing

what does knowing his name even matter, its not like u were ever going to talk to him anyway

LOL

*sad emoji*

but the coffee was good so you definitely planned to go back

and not just because of the cute boy

...unless....

*time skip*

the next day you went there was a week later at the same time in hopes that he was working the same shift

AND HE WAS!!!!

score! 1 for y/n, 0 for umm... any other person who had a crush on him too i guess

the cafe didnt have too many people since it was fairly new and also in a small part of the city

so when you went in, you were the only one there along with the two workers

“welcome, what would you like to order?”

NOT THIS AGAIN

he looked even cuter today

his messy blond hair almost covered his eyes

you shouldve forced your friend to come with you this time

you ordered the same thing as last time but this time he asked for your name

hmmm

“um y/n” you answered

your heart was always beating 2 times as fast whenever you had to talk to him

he wrote it down on the cup and after you paid, you went to sit down at the same spot as last time

looking at him is literally the highlight of your day

the same thing happened as last time, he came over and gave you your drink without giving u a second glance

>:((((

boooo look at me cute boy

nonetheless u continued going to the cafe at the same time as much as u could which was like three times a week

literally over a month later and u dont think anythings going to happen

u punch yourself for thinking the boy would somehow find interest in you

hes still indifferent to you which isn’t surprising since you’ve never made any kind of move

ever

but

he should know u by now

hopefully..

*time skip again*

it was a saturday

at this point you’ve basically given up on having a crush on him and now since its become a routine u just say you go for the coffee

not really paying attention to your surroundings you dont notice that the boy at the cash register isnt the normal one you see almost everyday

“hey, what would you like to order?”

woah WHAT

you look up from your bag to notice a boy that was definitely not the one that normally stood infront of it at this time

and you also noticed something on this new cashier

a name tag

how come your old little crush didnt have one????

this new boys name was ‘jay’ and he was fairly cute too

looking around the corner at the other worker u noticed he has a name tag too

you recognized him because he was always working when the cute boy was at the cash register

his name was ‘heeseung’

after taking in these new additions you answered to jay

“oh um.. can i ge-,”

“she gets an iced caramel macchiato. her name is y/n”

??!<_|#%[>~€\£~

you whipped your head around so fast to see who said that behind you

was it who you thought it was ??!??!

YES IT WAS!!!!

OH MYGOD

ITS HIM

you widened your eyes at the boy who wasnt wearing his normal black and white uniform

instead he was wearing black ripped jeans and a gray hoodie

wow....... and u thought he couldnt look any better

BUT OMG?? HE REMEMBERS U

“oh wow ni-ki, you know her?” the boy named jay asked him

“uh yeah.. shes a regular” he said before walking to stand next to you

NI-KI

HIS NAME IS NI-KI OHMHGOD

u thought his name fit him perfectly its so CUTE

“are you gonna get something too?”

this whole time you were silent because.. what is going on

your heart was being SO fast you thought that everyone could hear it

“yup, can i get the same thing? also im paying for both of us”

WHAT??/):)/$;##\%|

ur eyes widened even more it looked like they were gonna pop out of its sockets

u unconsciously leaned towards the boy next you and kind of put your hands up

“w-what?? oh um no, you dont have to do that” you nervously said to him as he looked down at you

he kind of had a smile on his face

“i want to.”

there is no way this is happening

“oiiii ni-ki” jay chuckled while punching in numbers on the cash register

“ill have both of your drinks out soon, you two kids have fun!” jay said before turning around to face heeseung

WHAT??!!??!

your jaw almost dropped from shock

millions of thoughts ran through your brain and you couldnt even process anything

u cant believe this was happening

it was like a wattpad story or something.. is this how u meet ur soulmate

your thoughts were interrupted by a hand on your back momentarily and u look to see ni-ki shyly grinning and gesturing u towards a table

no way...

you awkwardly follow him to a 2 person table next to wall and sit down

you literally could not hear anything except for the pounding of your heart

“uh sorry about that...” he rubbed his neck and sheepishly smiled

“im ni-ki by the way”

“y/n...” u felt so awkward u wanted to cry

“agh, im really sorry if that was weird.. i just didnt know how to ask you out.....” he trailed off

*passes out*

IM JOKING

Ok but u felt ur heart stop bc NO WAY

“wait what??” u ask, ur eyes bigger than the moon

“um yeah... haha i took the day off today to try to talk to you.. sorry if that was weird..”

HE WAS SO AWKWARD JUST LIKE YOU IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER

“no its okay!! im glad actually...”

“really? so is it okay if we hang out?” he asked excitedly

u did not think u could handle HOW CUTE THIS BOY WAS O M G...

“of course! sorry if im kind of awkward though” you gave a small smile

“its okay, i think i am too”

you two began talking about the cafe and where you went to school

turns out even though you two lived in the same town (literally 5 minutes away from eachother) u went to different schools for some reason

u talked for like 2 minutes before jay walked up with your drinks

“hows it going guys?”

“its doing good bro, now go away..” ni-ki lightly shoved jay and laughed

you giggled at the sight

jay looked offended and came right back

“that is not how you talk to your elders ni-ki! y/n do you see this?!” he scoffed

ni-ki just rolled his eyes and turned back to you

“do not ignore me young man!” jay joked

“oh y/n, ive heard all about you from ni-ki over here by the way.”

ni-ki’s eyes got so big you almost got worried

he turned around so fast and gave jay one of those ‘i swear if you say anything ur dead meat’ looks

jay obviously did not care

“hes always like ‘y/n this y/n that’ blah blah im glad he finally got the balls to ask you out because im honestly sick of hearing it!” jay laughed

u were blushing so hard

NI-KI LIKED U????

this felt like a dream

ni-ki pushed jay away so hard and turned back with red cheeks

awe

but yeah that was the beginning of the cutest relationship ever

u and ni-ki were so cute together <333

you’d always visit him during ur free time

it took like 2 months before u two made it official tho

and he was the sweetest boyfriend ever

#SORRY FOR THE CRAPPY ENDING #THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE THO LMK IF U WANT MORE #ni-ki is my ult btw hehe #enhypen #enhypen niki #ni ki #enhypen gifs #enhypen imagine #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenario #enhypen x reader #enhypen reactions #enhypen requests #enhypen jay #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop imagine #i-land #iland imagines #enhypen fluff

[liquorisce]

reading between the lines (High School Years, Ch 2)

pairing: eren x mikasa (shingeki no kyojin) // mild erehisu, yumihisu

rating: t

summary: (modern au) Junior year is difficult, especially for Mikasa, because it turns out Eren’s decided to test the dating scene. 

(banter, jealousy... and lots of feelings)

part 1 | read on ao3

A/N: this chapter has been a long time coming (5 years omg), and tbh I have a lovely anon to thank, who messaged me asking for a sequel to hsy, which made me actually want to put down my scrambled headcanons on paper. if you're reading this anon, i'm truly grateful for the push you gave me. 

NOTE: although i intended a sequel, this is a COMPANION fic to chapter 1, it is meant to fill up the gaps in the story that the previous chapter didnt tell you. i hope you enjoy :)

Today was not one of Eren’s favourite days, for 2 reasons. For one, the day started off with … an encounter. Two, today they would be getting the results of their final trig assessment, which Eren knows perfectly well he didn’t have a chance of passing.

The ‘encounter’ happens pretty much without preamble.

…

i.

“… Hey, it’s Eren, right?” He turns around from his conversation with Armin, to see the same guy from a couple of weeks ago, the one who was talking about Mikasa, and her pretty hair. (he wasn’t wrong)  

“Yeah?” He does his best not to let the subconscious irritation seep into his tone.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot the other day,” the guy with the oddly horse-shaped face says, “… My name’s Jean.”

“… Nice to meet you,” he says awkwardly delivering his dishonest words.

“… So, I wanted to be straight up with you,” Jean says, cheeks oddly pink. “About Mikasa… and you. I’ve heard some rumours, and I thought it best to address it with you directly, because I really don’t want to cause any trouble.”   Clearing his throat, he says, “Are you guys… y’know, together?”

It’s in the way Jean speaks, he thinks, or the way he talks about Mikasa (or even thinks of her?) - it makes him want to ram his fist right in the middle of his ugly face. And because he was too busy clenching his fists to actually respond, Armin says with a laugh, “… Ah, don’t worry, Mikasa is totally single.”

And then proceeds to wink at Jean.

Eren can barely believe his eyes and ears. And once Jean is out of earshot he hisses, “… what the fuck, Armin?”

Armin blinks up at him innocently. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

 “… You didn’t have to encourage him,” Eren mumbles petulantly, when he admits to himself that Armin did, in fact, say nothing wrong.

 “Erm, why not?” He sighs, “Look, I know you… worry about Mikasa,” Armin keeps his tone as neutral and veiled as possible, because worried is definitely not all Eren feels for Mikasa, “… but Jean is a good guy! And if anyone deserves attention from a good guy, it’s her.”

…

 ii.

 She finds him lurking near his locker, stuffing his crumpled papers in, probably wishing away their existence.

“That bad, huh?” She asks, hiding away her grin at his predictable reaction. Eren has always been predisposed too sulking - whether he was a 7-year-old who wasn’t the fastest on the field or 16-something and having just received his trigonometry results.

“… You look like you did just fine,” he mutters, not having to see the A+ on her paper to know that Mikasa had no problem acing the trig test (or any other test).

“You could just ask me for help, Eren. I could help you out for the retakes,” she offers softly, not for the first time.

He sighs. When he glances at her, dark eyes offering earnestly, he knows she means it without any pride or arrogance, but he isn’t able to suppress the prick of his own ego that has him mumbling, “… the mandatory remedial lessons should do just fine.”

…

iii.

When he shows up for class, he sees only a couple of others unfamiliar faces, so he curses under his breath at his own ineptitude towards mathematics for getting him in this situation and takes a spot at the back of the class.

The Support teacher - Erd, he calls himself, apparently too young to be addressed ‘Mr.’ or any of that - seems just as tired as the rest of them, sighing at the lack of answers, obviously frustrated at the complete lack of interest or gratitude of the teenagers in front of him.

So, 20 minutes into the 1-hour lesson, when the short blonde walks in, out-of-breath and apologetic, the sarcasm in his tone is biting. “You’ve already missed 1/3rd of this class, you might as well have stayed out entirely and practiced your cheer routines.”

Eren watches sympathetically at the visible cringe on Krista’s face and offers her an empathetic smile as she takes the seat next to him.

Later when they’ve been informed that the retake is just an assignment filled with proofs and average difficulty problems that they can do in pairs, he looks at Krista, the only known person in the room.

They weren’t that close, but they had quite a few mutual friends what with him playing basketball and her being part of the cheer team. So, when she says, “… see you at the library tomorrow evening?” with a pretty smile across her pretty features, he grins gratefully.

..

She doesn’t struggle with trig even half as much as he does. In fact, she seemed to be happy to do most of the work herself and explain her solutions - if he actually had the interest to understand them.

“I don’t understand,” he admits after she solves the 5th problem in a row effortlessly, “you seem to have everything down already. How come you didn’t pass the test?”

Her eyes skittered nervously away from him. “I was… sick,” she mutters. “I couldn’t really focus.”

He eyes her closely, observing the sudden change in her countenance. Usually Krista was all easy smiles, twinkle in her blue eyes. Now, she looks uneasy, unwell almost. Deciding it wasn’t his place to pry, “… Well, I guess I turned out to be the lucky one in all this,” he grins, “… I get to hang out with you and have you do my assignment.”

She rolls her eyes. To be honest, she’d enjoyed the past couple of evenings with him. Eren was easy to talk to, despite being somewhat of an airhead and being completely incapable of anything remotely math related. But regardless, he made her laugh and just about forget what happened the morning before she showed up for this test, with fresh tears choking her throat, and purpling bruises on her thighs.

“I guess you owe me then,” she quips back, smugly.

“… I definitely do,” he says smoothly, green eyes watching her in a way that makes her feel warm. “How can I make it up to you?”

Flustered, because she hadn’t expected his easy response, she mumbles, “… Dinner?” And with red cheeks hidden by her blonde bangs, she whispers, “I like pizza.”

…

iv.

She finds him at the end of the day, on one of the wooden tables outside the basketball court, chin resting in his hands, eyes glued to his laptop.

“… Hey,” she breathes, giggling when startled green eyes flash up to her, body jerking in surprise.

“Damn, you got me,” he grins, pushing his laptop away and leaning up for a brief kiss. She’s happy to return it, and she lets her fingers wind into his hair, enjoying it for a moment longer.

“Mmm,” she mumbles, “I saw you closing that browser window,” she teases, wrestling control of his laptop, “watcha lookin’ at?”

When she manages to open his browser history – much to Eren’s protest – her eyes widen. “Women’s dresses, spring collection??” She waggles her eyebrows at him.

“… It’s not for me,” he grumbles, deciding to make it painstakingly clear before Krista enthusiastically begins to tell him what dress would suit him the most – he knows his girlfriend, crossdressing would be absolutely acceptable, if not encouraged – and he watches her eyes feign disappointment.

“… Boring,” she sighs, rolling her pretty blue eyes, “I don’t see how you’re not curious about how you look in a dress,” – she gasps, hand flying over her mouth, “Wait… was that… a surprise… for me?”

“… Um,” Eren starts, intelligently, because the situation that was already awkward in his opinion, just became even more so. “Well,” he gulps, taking in the sparkle in her eyes, knowing fully well just how much she likes surprises, feeling guilty even thought he needn’t be, “itsformikasa.”

He hangs his head in apparent apology, but more so because he doesn’t want to see the disappointment flit across her features.

“… Oh.”

He chances a glance at her, and there’s no particular emotion per se, and it worries him, because she gets this faraway look in her eye sometimes, and he can’t really tell what’s going on, and they’ve only been together a few months and he’s not an expert in reading her silences –

“I see, is it for her birthday or something?” Her tone is measured, and she’s looking pointedly at the screen.

“Um… yeah.” Eren sighs, wondering what the hell was up with his own reaction. He had nothing to feel guilty about – where did that even come from anyway? – Mikasa’s his… family (or something). Shopping for her was normal. He did it every year. This isn’t something he needed to hide.

“Yeah, it’s next month,” he says, giving her a smile. There was no need for this to be awkward if he didn’t make it so. Besides, it wasn’t like he was buying her lingerie or something! (he brushed this thought aside faster than the red blush crept up his neck)

“Do you think, you could help me with it?” He blurts this out, partially in an attempt to distract the weird atmosphere, and also partially because he could really use the help.

Krista blinks. “Err, yeah. Sure.” She pulls up Mikasa’s profile on Instagram. “Let’s see,” she murmurs… Turtlenecks… Jeans… a ridiculously modest swimsuit that she wore to a pool party two years ago. The sexiest outfit on her entire profile was probably her in her tennis shorts and that had more to do with Mikasa’s undeniably ripped body than anything else.

She looks up at Eren, who’s still looking at her tentatively, green eyes unsure.

This whole thing was silly anyway, she thinks, offering him a genuine smile. He and Mikasa were close (and they lived together, which she did her best not to think about), but this wasn’t a surprise so it’s about time that it came up in some way in their relationship. In any case, she hadn’t felt any hostility from the raven-haired beauty and Eren was usually quite forthcoming about everything, so she didn’t really have anything to worry about.

“So, um, does she have a favourite colour or something?” She’s eager to kill the awkward mood and is grateful to see his shoulders visibly relax as he ponders.

“… Red, I think. Maybe, like, a darker shade. Sort of… maroon, y’know?” He thinks of the scarf he gave Mikasa when they were younger. It was a ratty, yet fluffy maroon thing which she was absolutely terrible at tying, but she wears it everywhere during the winter, even though his father had a bought her a better one at some point.

They peruse their options for a bit, and Krista picks out a deep red number, a shimmery satin one, with slinky straps and a slit that travels up an already high hemline. It wasn’t really a spring dress but more of a cocktail night outfit, and Eren is weirdly embarrassed thinking of Mikasa in it.

He eyes the screen incredulously. “… Somehow, I just can’t picture Mikasa wearing something like that.” He opens up another link, to a denim overall dress, “… now this, she would wear.”

“And that,” Krista retorts, “is why she’s still single. She has an amazing body; she should flaunt it.”

“… What would she wear it to?” Eren asks, unconvinced. (Also, what was wrong with Mikasa being single?) “… Student council meetings? Debate competitions?! I just,” –

“Parties, Eren,” she says, exasperated, “… it’s high school!”

“You know she doesn’t” –

“Drag her to some! C’mon, we’re going to be seniors soon. She’ll thank you for it!”

…

v.

Six hours later, she’s closing up her shift at her part-time job. It’s a job she’d rather keep hidden – from her friends at school and the law – because she isn’t sure what the age policy was in these kinds of establishments. It worked out because it was close enough to home, and between her and the bartender, the tips compensated the poor wages. Plus, the bartender – a slightly older girl named Ymir with a pretty fringe and a sharp tongue – was genuinely fan to hang out with. And she was surprisingly protective of the small blonde, particularly with the rougher customers, whom Ymir scared off quite effectively with her glares.

“So,” she says, as she scrubs the counter clean, “… I helped my boyfriend buy a dress today.”  

She doesn’t turn back to see her, but she can hear Ymir’s raised eyebrows as she says, cheekily, “… I didn’t realize you guys were into that stuff.”

Snorting, she replies, “Well that would be interesting. But no, it was for his, um, friend. Or something.” Or something, because sometimes Eren refers to Mikasa as his best friend, sometimes his family, and sometimes it just felt like… something else, basically.

She turns around to look at Ymir, who says nothing, continuing to rinse the rest of the glasses. “Her name’s Mikasa,” she continues, her voice getting oddly unsure, “They’ve known each other forever. They even… live together.”

“… What,” Ymir stares at her in disbelief.

“It’s not like that,” Krista finds herself sounding defensive, “Eren’s dad is her guardian… or something. Has been for some years. So, it’s not like they moved in together…”

She elects to skip the part where Eren’s dad is a doctor with Doctors without Borders and is barely home for more than a couple of months a year. She didn’t like the look Ymir was giving her anyway.

“So… they’re like brother-sister or what?”

“No,” she says, realizing that the word came out more vehement than she intended. But she knows that was definitely not the way Eren saw their relationship.

“… Krista,” Ymir starts, and the blonde can tell by the tone of her voice that she’s going to get all protective on her, “… I know you’re in high school, and… you’re dating – as you should – but you don’t have to waste your time on shady boys.”

At this she laughs because, “Eren’s not shady, he’s a nice guy,” –

“… You could get anyone you want; I mean look at you, you’re beautiful.”

The defense that was bubbling up in her throat suddenly stilled, because there’s something about the way Ymir just said that – called her beautiful – earnestly, quietly, and it made her feel funny. It took her breath away for a very brief second and replaced it with a warm flush that creeps up her neck.

It’s strange, she’s heard it before from so many boys with obvious motivations; Eren’s always calling her pretty, and complimenting her eyes or whatever… But when Ymir said it, and looked at her like that, honey brown eyes, deep with unnamed emotion, all she could do was avert her eyes.

…

vi.

It’s 7pm and the library’s home only to the nerds by now. The librarian is lax (and underpaid) enough to ignore the low buzz of two over-enthusiastic AP chemistry students that grates on Mikasa’s ears.

Ordinarily she’d just plug her earphones in and ignore the world to focus on the assignment at hand. But today she accepts anything to distract her from the scene earlier at home. And even though Armin’s sitting right next to her, supposedly doing his own thing, she doesn’t miss the worried glances he sends her every now and then, which she really doesn’t want to address.

Her feelings for Eren were a well-known secret by now, just as well-known as the fact that he clearly didn’t return those feelings, so she wasn’t particularly in the mood for Armin’s indulgent pity… regardless of how well-intentioned it was.

So, when its 8pm and the librarian is shooing them out, and she bumps into Jean, she’s grateful for the few extra minutes of conversation surrounding absolutely nothing important.

When they continue to the parking lot, their conversation having progressed from awkward conversation starters to an animated discussion on Jean’s tennis form, Armin’s well and truly realized that he has no place here.

After Armin’s said his goodbyes and Mikasa recognizes that she doesn’t mind staying away from home and possibly Eren and Krista in the middle of their 5th round, she asks Jean, “… so do you like Chinese food?”

…

When she walks in a little after 10 pm, cheeks cold from the night air, there’s a small grin on her cheeks, because she’s made a new friend today, whose company she genuinely enjoyed.

But when she enters the living room to see Eren fast asleep on the couch, she finds herself staring in the face of the reality she’d tried so hard to escape. It’s difficult to ignore the ruffled quality of his brown hair, mussed up in a way that could only have been achieved by someone (a very blonde, very beautiful someone) raking their hands through it.

She can’t help the wave of irritation that sweeps through her - so she doesn’t bother to soften her footsteps as she walks up the wooden stairs.

Minutes later, she hears his sleepy voice at her door. “Hey,” he says, and she can hear the smile in his voice, “you were out pretty late, so I left you some dinner. We made pasta, it’s not as good as yours but,” -

“… I ate already,” she says, tone clipped.

“Oh.” He’s quiet, just watching her put her things away, and there’s irrational tears pricking at her eyes, anger, and frustration that she knows she doesn’t have the right to, so she doesn’t turn to acknowledge him. “… Mikasa, are you…,” he clears his throat, “… is something wrong?”

When she says nothing, he sighs, turning, “… Well, if you want to talk about it, you know I’m always here,” -

“… Could you please go over to Krista’s house next time?”

She colours, surprised at herself for her outburst of honesty. But her blush pales in comparison to Eren’s as he processes what she’s saying. “… This is my house,” he sputters, “… I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to want to bring my girlfriend over.”

“Well, it’s not just ‘bringing her over’, is it?”

His eyes widen in disbelief. “… What I do with Krista, in my personal space, is definitely not your business, Mikasa.”

“It is when I can hear it, Eren,” she retorts, as he shuts the door forcefully behind him.

…

vii.

It’s been two weeks since that… confrontation, and Mikasa’s barely spoken to him since.

She leaves before he does, makes sure dinner’s left out on the stove for him, whether he needs it or not, and locks her door when she’s done. And although he’s found himself staring awkwardly at that shut door multiple times, he’s never had the courage to actually knock.

He simply cannot comprehend this situation because despite the numerous arguments they’ve had in the past - it was always him, whining about something like a petty child and sulking till he got his way - she’d never truly been mad at him. And she’d never, ever, gone days without talking to him. And as he stares at the locker next to his (it was Mikasa’s) with a horrible ache in his chest, he is well and truly sure that he loathes this situation.

So, when small hands reach around his waist, enveloping him in a tight embrace, his subconscious reaction is to jerk back in annoyance. “I didn’t realise it was you,” he murmurs apologetically, rubbing her hands softly.

“… Who else would it be?” Krista asks, somewhat thrown off by this mood that had been festering for days now.

“You ask some very valid questions there, babe,” he mutters, a distracted half-smile on his face.

Taking a deep breath (determined to shake him out of his pensive aura), she whispers, “… You know, I don’t have work today.” She leans against him, reaching up to murmur in his ear, “we could hang out at yours for a while, if you want?”

She makes it clear what she means by “hanging out” by the way she presses up against him, and even though he’s responded with fervent enthusiasm to a similar invitation in the past, today he just averts his gaze, awkwardly.

Swallowing the rejection with a graceful exterior, she puts an arm’s length of distance between them. “… What’s going on, Eren? Your head’s been somewhere else all week.”

And before he starts to stay that it’s nothing, just that he has some stuff going on, she says, “… does this have something to do with Mikasa?”

His green gaze jerks up at her, startled with unfortunate honesty. “… I haven’t seen you talk to her all week.”

“…I,” he starts, but his throat closes up, for some reason, unsure whether he should really tell her what happened. He doesn’t want to put her in the middle of something that was clearly between him and Mikasa.

But with every passing second, the guilty look on his face only begins to feed the fears that she had successfully kept dormant all this while. “… Did something happen between the two of you?”

And when he looks into her eyes, bright blues seeping insecurity, he says, hurriedly, “… wait, I hope you aren’t thinking that we,” - he inhales sharply, wondering how he manages so successfully to upset the women in his life - “God, no. We had a misunderstanding, that’s all. She said something, I was pretty rude to her, and I shouldn’t have been.”

“And,” he murmurs, admitting it to himself, finally, “I’ve just taken too long to apologize.”

…

She’s barely finished washing the vegetables for dinner, when she hears the thud of the front door closing loudly.

(She remembers Carla reprimanding him every time, for not being gentler)

Mikasa has managed to avoid Eren successfully these past days, because she knows his schedule, knows that despite his complete lack of organization, he’s fairly predictable. And with his recent interest in a particular cheerleader, he almost invariably never comes home before 8.30 PM. So, when she hears him enter their kitchen at little over 7, she isn’t prepared.

She isn’t prepared because she’s been quite cowardly, saying things that she had no business saying, and then being unable to own up to it, unable to apologize to him. Because she knew that when she looks at him, she’ll feel the way she feels right now - taking in the sight of him, drizzle droplets fresh in his brown hair, as he runs a hand through it, his mouth twisting into an awkward grin. She knew she’d realize that her feelings for Eren were never really much of a choice, they just were.  

“… I brought your favourite dumplings from Li’s,” he announces. “And I brought an extra serving of the spicy soy sauce so we don’t have to fight over who gets the last bit.”

…

He’s grateful for the small smile that forms on her face when she accepts the dumplings (the peace treaty as he calls it in his head), and for the small banter that she indulges him in as they eat.

After they’re stuffed with dumplings and inconsequential conversation, he clears his throat, because he remembers he came home early tonight with a certain conviction.

But as she does with most things, she beats him to it. “… Eren, about the other day,” she looks at him earnestly, “… I had no right to demand that of you. I’m sorry.”

And when he’s still quiet, she mumbles quickly, “I don’t know what got into me that day, honestly, I,” -

“Don’t apologise, Mikasa,” he says, a strange disquiet taking over him as he replays her words, “… the last thing I want, is to make you feel uncomfortable.” Or to make you feel like you can’t demand what you want from me.

This is the part that settles into him slowly, that somehow, the one person in his life that he’s always felt he could ask anything of, could demand anything of, and actually receive it without fail… she didn’t feel that she could count on the same from him. And it twisted painfully inside of him.

“I appreciate that, Eren. But honestly, I’ll get used to it… so don’t worry.” She smiles, in that genuine way of hers, small lips, curving shyly, “… and who knows, maybe someday I’ll want to ‘bring someone over’ too.”

She laughs as she does the air quotes and even though he manages a small grin in response, all he can say, without really meaning it, is –

“Yeah… Of course, yeah.”

…

 viii.

 She takes her frustration out on the cash register. “… Damn thing doesn’t open when I need it to, and doesn’t close when I want it to,” she mutters under her breath.

 “You just need to show it some love,” Ymir says, amused, promptly closing the problematic register without any difficulty. “… Go sit, I’ll close up here.”

 She does as she’s told, pouting slightly, but she’s grateful for the older girl’s help and understanding. “So… want a beer before I close the tap?” Ymir asks with a wink.

 “You need to stop offering underage girls alcohol,” Krista whispers, scanning the room hastily.

 The brunette rolls her eyes. “You need to stop with the innocent act every time. You’re a hot cheerleader for god’s sakes, everyone knows what goes on at your high school parties,”  -

 “Ok ok,” she acquiesces, suppressing the blush at Ymir’s offhanded compliment and deciding that that there was no point in panicking every time they did this, “… but only if you join me.”

 “Cheers,” Ymir says, offering her glass to Krista’s and taking a generous gulp. “So, tell me. Boy trouble, again?”

 Krista nurses her drink slowly before taking a sip.

 To Krista, Eren was a breath of fresh air. He didn’t hover, he didn’t foam at the mouth every time she spoke to another guy, didn’t hound her if she didn’t pick up his phone call.

 Does he even care? Ymir had asked her once scathingly, but she had disregarded it, grateful for the freedom she felt in his embrace. Freedom from toxic attachment, from past trauma or unresolved baggage like the one she was destined to carry. When she was around him, she had felt different. Lighter almost, as if this persona that she had created for herself could actually have a shot at happiness after all.

 But lately she’d begun to wonder if she’d just been fooling herself… again. She’d begun to question if she had just convinced herself to see the promise of something that was never there.

 “… I thought this guy was one of the good ones,” Ymir says, watching Krista closely.

 “He is…” she sighs, “He is one of the good ones. It’s just…” she trails off, unsure if she should give voice to her thoughts. “Ah fuck it, I’m just feeling a little insecure, it’ll be fine…”

 “… Is this about that sexy flatmate of his?”

 She winces, feeling exposed. It often felt that way with Ymir. Like there was no point to any of the barriers she had worked so hard in constructing.

 “She is attractive,” Krista admits, begrudgingly. “… I’m only surprised Eren hasn’t noticed that.”  

 “… But that’s what you’re worried about, aren’t you? That he has noticed that of late?” Ymir narrows her eyes at Krista. “You should just ask him about it!”

 “I did,” she states defensively, “… and he said there was nothing,” -

 “… Oh, sure there’s nothing. I can’t believe he thinks he can lie to you and get away with it,” -

 “Ymir, I trust him, he’s my boyfriend,” -

 “But that’s the problem with you. You just trust everyone, and you let them walk all over you. You did this with Reiner and now with,” -

 “Ok,” she whispers, “Stop it, Ymir.”

 “… Krista, you need to trust your gut about this sort of thing. If your gut is telling you that he’s a lying asshole, then you should just dump his ass and,” -

 “… See this is why I didn’t want to tell you about this,” she cries, her voice rising In frustration. Because this is how it’s always been with Ymir, no one she dates is ever good enough, no decision she makes is ever smart enough.

 “You’re always shitting on my boyfriends. And I know you were justified about the last one, but,” her voice cracks just a little bit, because at the end of it all, she just feels weak, “… it feels like you’re just taking a massive crap on me as well.”

 “I didn’t mean,” Ymir starts apologetically, brown eyes remorseful, “… look, that wasn’t my intention.”

 She takes her hand, slowly, lets her long fingers intertwine with Krista’s smaller, dainty ones.  The crumpled expression on Krista’s features has her regretting ever opening her big mouth. But she was tired of seeing one person after another, enter her Krista’s life, and undo the progress she was trying so desperately to make.

“… The truth is,” she takes a deep breath, ready to unleash a truth that’s been stifled for so long, she can’t even remember when it first sprouted, “I think you’re pretty fucking amazing. And I see you wasting all your time and your feelings on these stupid boys who don’t deserve you.” The words come out quickly, rushed almost. A sharp contrast to how long they’ve festered in Ymir’s chest, growing and growing until these feelings knew no reason.

 Ymir doesn’t look at her, she keeps her gaze focused on Krista’s hand, afraid of what might happen if Krista understands the depth of feeling behind her words. But more important than her feelings, there were some things she wanted Krista to see clearly.

 “Did you tell him about your father, Krista? What he does to you when his wife isn’t looking?”

 Krista tugs on her hand, a wave of unbridled panic spreading at the mention of her father. “I trusted you with that information, Ymir, you promised you’d never bring it up,” -

 “… Did you tell him your real name?”

 She can’t answer this question, even though she knows the answer, knows it’s an emphatic ‘no’ - but she cannot answer because there’s an overwhelming lump in her throat, and it’s taking everything from her to barely keep it together.

 “… Let go of me, Ymir,” she pleads, and that’s when Ymir loosens her grip.

 “… You trusted me to keep quiet about your secrets - and I’m fine with that. I’m fine with doing anything you ask of me,” her teeth grit together, because she doesn’t know, Krista doesn’t know just how much she would do.  

 “You asked me not to do anything about the fact that your father is hurting you, and it even though it kills me, I listened to you. But now I see you hurting yourself in this farcical relationship with fabricated feelings for some boy who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve, and I don’t know if I can be quiet about that anymore.”

 And because it’s grown too large, too much to keep inside of her anymore, she whispers, “I love you, Historia. And if you want me to let go of you, I will. But,” she brushes her lips gently against Krista’s cheek, “… You can trust me with your secrets, and your heart, if you’d let me, because I could take care of you.” She feels a warm tear roll down Krista’s cheek and her heart clenches, “… I could make you happy.”

 …

ix. 

 “… I really appreciate you making time for this,” she murmurs, as she watches him lay the white lilies at her parent’s grave.

 He always remembers, without her prompting, because the first time he’d come with her, she’d spent hours crying at their gravestone, telling him tear-filled anecdotes of the dishes her Mama cooked, the bedtime stories her Papa told, the flowers that they used to grow in their garden together (white lilies).

 “C’mon Mikasa,” he rolls his eyes at her, “… we do this every year. Why wouldn’t I make time for this?” And why the hell are you thanking me?

 She can’t really explain it to him, the possibly childish notion that she thought he might be too busy with his girlfriend to remember the death anniversary of her parents. She regrets doubting him, regrets that of late she’s been so clouded by petty jealousy, that she hasn’t truly appreciated how little he’s changed around her.

 “It’s ridiculous,” she confesses, softly, “… you’ve given me everything. A home… A family.” She smiles at him, somewhat blurry. “But I can’t help it, every year on this day, my mind always goes back to that… moment. I lost them… in what felt like the blink of an eye.”

 He tenses, as he always does when he sees her upset, or shedding a tear. There is a fundamental part of him that deeply despises the sadness on her features; it makes him feel helpless. So, he does the only thing he can - he wraps an arm around her, tucking her face into his shoulder as she snuggles into him.

 “I miss them every day. But you saved me, Eren,” she whispers, dark eyes looking up at him with a gratefulness that he has never known how to accept, and never felt worthy of. “… and now I have you.”

 Her voice trails off, almost wistful. “… I guess the world really can be cruel but beautiful at the same time.”

 …

 x.

 When he stops to think about it, he supposes it really is ridiculous it took them so long to get here. And by here he means - Mikasa wrapped securely in his arms, in his lap, on their couch, taking advantage of the privacy they’ve had all along.

 He feels her tongue flick against his - it makes him shiver - and he can do little more than just wrap himself around her tighter, and sigh into her kiss. Her fingers make their way into his hair, cradling his head, pressing sweet kisses on the side of his mouth, on his jaw, and on the sensitive spot beneath his ear.

 And because Mikasa’s always been a quick study (she’s learnt what he likes, what he’s weak for), he stills her exploration (very reluctantly) before she goes too far.

 “Are you okay…?” He whispers, rubbing a thumb along the dried tear stains on her cheek – a reminder of her tears, of knowing the pain that he’d caused her, bubbled quietly within him, having been quelled temporarily by the glorious feeling of having her in his arms.

 She laughs, shaking her head, “… I love you. I can’t believe I finally get to say it.” She rests her forehead against his, a happy smile forming on her lips.

 “… You could have said it ages ago; you know. No one asked you to keep it inside for this long.” Even though he teases her with his words, his lips drift back to hers, brushing softly, unable to stay away for too long.

 “… Well, you never know, I actually might have said it. If it wasn’t for, you know, you having a girlfriend.” He senses the eye roll, the teasing lilt of her voice, but he can’t help but regret the time he wasted. Because even though Krista was a dear friend, and there were no ill intentions there, now that he is here, chest to chest with the girl he loves, he only wishes he’d been here sooner.

 “You’re going to use that against me forever, aren’t you?”

 She grins in response. “… I have a question though.”

 “Shoot,” he murmurs, nibbling against her lower lip.

 “… Why’d you guys break up?”

 He groans, kissing her jaw testily. “… Do you really want to go into that right now?”

 She hesitates, torn between potentially ruining the mood and needing to know what happened. God knows, she had spent countless nights losing sleep over the details anyway. “If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s okay, I guess…”

 “It’s fine,” he says quickly, realising that if he wanted to set a precedent where she could ask him anything, then it‘s best he starts now, “… She’s in love with someone else. A girl, actually.”

 Her eyes widen, not having expected that turn of events. “… Please tell me you didn’t ask for a threesome.”

 “What the fuck, Mikasa, of course not!” He pulls back, offended.

 “Good,” she murmurs cheekily, “I’ve raised you well.”

 “Hmm,” he hums, “Speaking of ‘raising me’, you should probably stop saying stuff like that. Do you know that Connie asked if you were like a ’sister’ to me?”

 He grins, seeing the shocked expression on her face. That’s exactly how he had felt when he was posed that question, with a little mortification added to the mix. “… Is that really how everyone sees our… relationship?”

 His fingers drift to hers, where they rest on his chest. “We’ve been living together for a while now,” he caresses her knuckles absentmindedly, “Kids our age… they don’t really understand it, I guess. Anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

 “My turn: I have a question for you,” he murmurs. This is a question he’s long considered, stopped only by his embarrassment, fielding it from others only to put the vaguest labels on it.

 “… What am I to you, Mikasa?”

 The question throws her, because even though she’s told him candidly how she feels, that she loves him, she always has, he is asking her, right now, to define their relationship.

 The very notion, the expression that flits on her tongue, bubbles up in her heart with an exciting warmth, even though she hopes this is just temporary, that it will grow, that Eren is so many things and will be so many things to her that she cannot possibly define right now - “… My boyfriend, of course.”

- fin - 

A/N:  i've been really nervous to post em, because its just been so long, and the writer that wrote chap 1 is different from the one that wrote chap 2, and honestly i dont even know if there are inconsistencies. so my request to you, dear reader, is to please let me know if i have made any fuck ups in writing this - or if you have any ideas for pacing, or storytelling that could possibly help me improve.

also there will be a chapter 3 focusing on eremika’s sexual exploration~

#eremika #erehisu #yumihisu #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #shingeki no kyojin #liquorisce fanfiction

[oscar-lettjohanssonloveme]

A Woman Like You pt. 2 (Diane Sherman x reader)

well hi :)..the next chapter will be longer!...google translate xD

pt 3: https://littlejeaniehugsbumblebees.tumblr.com/post/643719765997895680/a-woman-like-you-pt-3-diane-sherman-x

Gray ..", Diane answered and played with the kleenex that was in her lap. She was glad she hadn't had to use it yet.

"Gray?" Repeated Doctor Greene, who sat across from her cross-legged.

"Yes .." She raised her gaze to him and narrowed her eyes.

"Everything is gray .. like a black and white film .."

"And why is that?"

"I don't know? Maybe because the only living thing in my house is a bouquet of chrysanthemums that are almost withered too?" Said Diane, frustrated. She hated Doctor Greene, a stupid psychiatrist who always had to question everything. He raised his hands in defense.

"It's not my fault, that you dont water your flowers," he said, and she just rolled her eyes.

"Have you ever thought about moving out of the house? Maybe that would help?" He tried further.

"This is the third time you've asked me this ... and I still say no ..." Diane began. "That was Luther's parental home .. I could never move out there .."

Doctor Greene ran a hand through his blond hair.

"And what about friends? Luther's sister, what was her name again...?"

"Jessica."

"Yes exactly .. does she still visit you?"

Diane shrugged. "I told her, that I didn't want her to come anymore .. Her annoying questions were exhausting ..".

Doctor Greene just sighed at her words.

"Diane ..", he put down the clipboard, that had been in his lap and leaned forward. "You have been coming to me for almost 2 years and you have already made great strides ... But it's my job to intrigue you back into life and it doesn't help you to distance yourself further. What do you think of start with working again ? "

"Working?" She frowned. "I haven't worked since Timothy's birth .."

"I know, but I think it would be a good way to come back completely. And a new job would bring new contacts too. Contacts who don't ask annoying questions like Jessica .."

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Well, Diane's new colleagues didn't ask any annoying questions when she started teaching literature at this college. In general, not many had spoken to her, but that didn't really bother her. But Doctor Greene had been right, everyday work had given her life structure again. She now had a new reason to get up early, get dressed properly or take a shower so as not to look like a total wreck. Besides, she had felt she was needed again, if only by her students.

Likewise, her new job gave her an opportunity to leave the house with all of its memories daily.

And she hated Doctor Greene for being right, as always.

After the last student had left the room, she started to pack her stuff too. As always, she shut down her laptop and tucked the strand of hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear. After putting the laptop in her pocket, she put on her jacket and ran to the row of windows to open one of it, so that fresh air could enter the room. Just as she was about to run back, a college pad caught her eye, which was still in one of the seats. Somebody had forgotten him. She quickly went up the stairs to grab the notepad.

"Y / N Y / L / N" was written in clean letters on the front. Diane frowned, she hadn't heard that name in the whole two months she'd worked here. She started to flip through the pad. It was full of notes from her readings. And when she started reading the notes, she found that whoever had written these thoughts was smart.

So she was even more surprised that the name was unknown to her.

She put the pad in her pocket, determined to find out who was hiding behind the notes, and finally left the room.

---------------------

When Y / N entered the classroom two days later, she was relieved to find that the blog was still in place. Thank God. She trotted across the room to take the same seat as always. As always, she stuck the headphones in her ears, chose a random track from her playlist (guys..listen to "You & Me", the version of Meute ... this song is everything!) And looked lost in thought out the window to watch the other students. She missed Diane watching her.

"I would like to take up the discussion from last Tuesday again .." said Thomas Bryce at the beginning of the seminar and made Y / N groan inwardly. She didn't like him, he always clung to the professors so disgustingly and was also stupid. At least that's what Y / N thought.

"Right ..", Diane folded her arms over her chest.

"I'll let you speak in a moment, Mr Bryce, but first I'd like to hear Ms. Y / L / N's thoughts .."

Y / N winced when she heard her name. Immediately color shot to her face as she stared into Diane's brown eyes.

"Uhm me .." she stuttered. "I didn't take any notes on Tuesday .."

That was a lie, but Y / N didn't know Diane knew that.

"I told you that she's not mute .." someone said, making the others laugh. "I get $ 20 from you, Bryce .."

That asshole. Y / N closed her eyes for two seconds and tried to calm her pounding heartbeat.

When she opened her eyes again, she found that Diane was still frowning at her.

"Come to me after class, Ms Y / L / N .." she muttered, averting her gaze from Y / N. When Y / N heard this, she wanted to open one of the windows and jump out and she hated Diane for it, even though she knew it wasn't her fault.

For the rest of the seminar, Y / N scribbled senseless flowers in her notepad. She didn't feel like concentrating.

After class, she hoped Diane might have forgotten. She quickly packed up her things and wanted to run out of the room as soon as possible. She had already reached the frame of the wooden double doors when she heard Diane behind her.

"Miss Y / L / N?"

Y / N took a deep breath before turning and walking to Diane's desk.

Automatically she started scratching her fingers again. An old tick of hers.

"Well, Miss Y / L / N .." Diane began when Y / N stood in front of her.

"I would like to know why you lied earlier .."

"I didnt-"

"I know you did. I found your notepad Tuesday .."

Y / N frowned.

"And why do you read someone else's records?"

"Oh, I didn't know who owned the notepad .." mumbled Diane, folding her laptop.

"My name was on the front ..". Y / N was still confused and looked up at Diane, who was staring at her thoughtfully and chewing her lower lip.

"Okay to be honest, I've never heard your name before," she said finally. Because of Y / N didn't know what to think of it, she just nodded slowly.

"I read what you wrote .. It's really good .. Why don't you join our discussions?" Asked Diane, watching Y / N shrug her shoulders. She raised her eyebrows.

"You won't get very far with this attitude ..".

Y / N hated this woman more and more.

"Can I go please?" She whispered.

Diane stared at her again for a moment before nodding.

"Go.”

#diane sherman x reader #sarah paulson x reader #run movie

[spookypotato]

Wow I loved that ankle fic!! If you are still looking for fics I would really enjoy one where Sirius is caught skating before he’s been cleared, maybe with a couple of the other boys and he gets in loads of trouble, lol dw just ignore if it’s bad idea 😄

1. Thank you! I'm happy you liked it.

2. Oooh yess! I hope I can do this idea justice, because I like it a lot. That's such a Sirius thing!

3. Also I love requests. I have quite a hard time coming up with good ideas but I love to write, so thank you!

Characters by @lumosinlove 💙 Thank you for this universe!

Sirius has been on the ice once, since the 'accident'. It went about as good as watching a toddler take his first steps, but in the end he was able to skate slow laps without falling down. It was stupid. He did this for a living. He had been - not to brag, just stats - one of the best. And now he was sitting on the bench waiting for the team to clear out, so he could go through the pain of skating in a circle for half an hour.

After their practice was over, Sirius went back, to the lockerroom with the boys. He could at least help them theoretically. James asked, how he was doing, as he did each week sometime more than once. Sirius - as he did each week - answered with a: "too slow for my liking". James responsible-motherhen-instict was now, nowhere to be found, when he suggested going skating later that day once even the staff had cleared out.

"You want me to risk my recovery to skate properly now instead of in a few months? Are you crazy!?", is what Sirius should have said.

"So when and where are we meeting?", is what came out of his mouth in a whisper.

That's how after the 10 laps, he did with (almost) ease today, he told Loops, that he was going to stay and do some more streches.

"You can overdo it, you know?", Remus told him, "just be careful alright? I know you'd be devastated, if all of your progress was ruined. And I would be the one having to listen to you whine."

"Firstly, I dont whine. Ever." -thats a lie and both of them knew it- "and secondly, thank you so much for your concern about my well-being, but I'll be careful, mum", Sirius added theatrically annoyed.

"This is literally my job. To tell you to be careful, so that you can play next season."

"So you dont really care about my well-being then, Loops?", Sirius gasped dramatically.

"Dont overdo it. See you tomorrow, Cap."

"Bye, Re."

The rink was silent. It was just him.

Then he nearly fell over as James jumped on him from behind.

Correction, it was just him and James.

"So, you're feeling up to playing?", James asked, standing on his own now.

"Do you really think you can win a one on one against your Captain, Potty?", Sirius challenged.

"Yes. But also I was thinking we wait for the others to join first. They should be here in a second."

"You told the others? If anybody finds out we'll be in so much trouble.", Sirius was beginning to regret his decision.

"So you dont want to play with us?", Finn's voice came out of the tunnel.

"Betrayed by our own captain?!", Logan's voice followed.

The cubs and Kasey stood in front of them now.

"Did nobody of you think it was a bad idea to come?!", Sirius asked.

"Well, our captain thinks it's fine, apparently." "And we found out about it a minute ago that someone will be blocking the rink during goalie-practise times", Leo completed Finn's thoughts.

"So we thought we'd stay with Nut and see if you suck now.", Logan added.

And because Sirius was already excited to just play a little, he answered an "Oh, it's on, Tremzy!" from where he was lacing his skates a bit tighter to give his ankle at least some stability.

Kasey hadn't been much for the idea of his Captain playing again. He knew from his thighs, that disregarding Loops orders, would only lead to a longer break. But since he would have been at the rink because of his goalie-practise anyway, he decided he would stay. Just to keep an eye on them, of course.

Definitely not, because he was missing his captain as much as the rest of the team on the ice.

Once they were all on the ice, James let Sirius choose his Teammates in a three on three. It ended in Potts, Logan and Leo against him, Finn and Kasey.

They all got their sticks and let Sirius' team have the puck first. And so his first after-recovery-game began.

He knew they went easy on him and for the first time he was glad about that. It made the game easier. He got less competitive than usual and thus put less pressure on his recovered ankle.

They passed the puck easily between one another. It felt like he had never been gone. Skating had been so had the first time afterwards, but as soon as he held his stick, he felt like this was were he always belonged.

Sirius got it to Finn and he shot it back. Kasey acting as a player now skated through the middle. He got the puck from Sirius and went for the goal. It hadnt been a bad shot at all, but for Leo there was no fun in letting the puck go in on purpose, so he blocked it and shot it to Logan.

The game went back and forth a few times, Sirius always staying on his good side. He even scored twice. He felt good. It was the first time in a long the he felt truly happy, even.

"Sirius!", came a shout from the boards. It was Lupin. A Angry-Faced Lupin. A kind of Lupin he hadnt seen in a long time. So Sirius decided to better skate over quick but carefully. The others luckily got the hint to be quiet. Or the just wanted to eavesdrop who knows.

"Sirius.", Remus repeated. "I told you to not overdo it-twice, might I add- and you decided playing a game with the team would be a good idea? I'm checking you again and yes, that is absolutely necessary. What were you thinking? You could have undone all you worked for so hard. Not just the last few months but your entire life. You could have never been able to play, do you know that?"

"Yes", Remus was never usually this angry. But Sirius thought he also saw something else in his eyes. Something between relief and excitement, he guessed.

"I hope I scared you enough with that whole speech, for you to not do it again unless I tell you you can, okay?", Loops actually waited for an answer this time. He seemed a bit more relaxed now.

"Ouai, pardon"

"No need to say sorry to me, it would have been your- Well, I do have more work now- actually yeah, say sorry, but it's no problem. I'm honestly just really glad your not currently on the ice with another broken bone.", Remus told him warmly. "Still, dont tell Arthur any of this. All of you!", he shouted to the rest still standing there. " And I will look at your ankle again, if something happens it's better to know sooner than later. Will you wait in the in the medic room?"

"Thanks. Yeah, I'll just take off the skates first.", Sirius answered, while making his way dont to the locker rooms. It was- if he hadnt broken anything again, which it didnt feel like- totally worth it. For the first time in months he actually felt like all the work had made a difference.

"Potts", he heard Loops again, while walking through the tunnel, "Potter, I know this was your idea. Come here and explain yourself."

#harry potter #lumosinlove #sweater weather #finn o'hara #leo knut #logan tremblay #remus x sirius #kasey winter #sirius black #remus lupin #request #fanfic #my fic

[meruz]

asks which i realized i actually havent answered in a while?

thank you for all the hobbit love!!!!!!!!! I was kind of nervous about posting that design because i didnt know whether tolkien fandom would be chill with ...well furries essentially. happy that you guys dont seem to mind at all ^^ here’s more that I could never figure out a post for LOL

thank you! and lol i was kind of joking about leaving the p5 fandom but uhhh I don’t think i’ll be drawing much more p5 because I think I got it out of my system. also tbh I don’t know if I actually like p5?? or if I just had a lot of shit I wanted to express and say about it via fanart. I had like this whole agenda where I wanted to make p5 art based on a more noir...almost graphic american comics style because I felt like that was the most interesting thing about the game’s art direction and not a lot of fanartists cashed in on it. Also I wanted to depict like a very specific shuake vibe that wasnt too romantic but also not ... completely un-romantic. something that really capitalized on the fact that they’re just terrible teens. idk. anyways I like the work I made for the fandom and I think I managed to say everything I wanted to say w it.

I AM signed up for a shuake zine though so expect an encore before I sign out completely LOL.

thank YOU being very nice to me. ik its been a while but I WILL Draw digimon again sometime. kids with big shoes and monster pals is just the most fun thing to draw ever.

uhhhguhhg not particularly? The tamers kids just seem SO young.

I thought the scene where takato confesses to juri was incredibly lovely but it’s well done because it’s not particularly romantic or ship-indulgent its like... all about the way kids attach to each other when they feel out of place or scared. and how simply someone can become special to you at that age. 

if i mentally age them up a little I could see kazu and kenta being a fun ship. they had that one episode where they were like. kind of a parallel for those married digimon?? which is deeply amusing. 

also I think ruki is a baby lesbian. just the way she dismisses every boy but is obsessed with even the most random girl they encounter...! but i think her rivalry with ryo is so so funny because its like a like... little league tcg rivalry. I want to believe that when theyre in middle school ruki and ryo date for like 2 weeks and the plain existence of that relationship wreaks havoc on kazu and kenta who are in weird idol love with ryo and hate ruki but also are friends with ruki. and then they break up because they realize theyre both gay or whatever but kazu and kenta take approx a month to recover from the psychological& emotional damage.

I like ruki/juri too but i have no solid concept of how that would work out...

I actually totally meant to draw all this in like a convoluted fanart post at one point but I never got around to it so thanks for asking about tamers shipping LOL

How it ends up looking painterly.... idk. Because I’m a messy painter and I use big strokes? I don’t really blend but I do use mid-opacity textured brushes when I paint a lot so thats probably part of what makes it look soft/painterly/integrated. I use the lasso for hard edges and then brushes to create soft shapes within them... if that makes sense? SORRY THIS IS HARD TO EXPLAIN, anyways, I have a handful of videos of me drawing on youtube. Theyre really boring because they dont have music and I didn’t bother to edit them in interesting ways but.. theyre there. Maybe itll help?

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxOLP2dN4f5kJKT6p3Inq4A

Thank u!!! steve and tony are positioned to be slightly holding hands lol

My pull list currently is:

X-Men

Marauders

Excalibur

S.W.O.R.D.

Hellions

X-Factor

Wolverine

Cable

X-Force

New Mutants

Guardians of the Galaxy

Daredevil

Miles Morales: Spider-Man

Champions

Far Sector

True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys: National Anthem

Home Sick Pilots

So like all of the x-books, the occasional teen hero and the occasional indie. I was thinking of dropping Wolverine and Cable but idk... Cable sort of won me over during x of swords and if wolverine brings adam kubert back I think I’ll start digging it again LOL. I jumped onto Guardians on a whim but its suddenly become one of my favorite books along with S.W.O.R.D... so I guess I have to go back and read Immortal Hulk at some point, become a true Al Ewing stan.

Far Sector is my only DC pull atm but also I loved a lot of the GN releases this past year and Wonder Woman Dead Earth is like my favorite 2020 comic actually. So dc imprints are KICKING ALL KINDS OF ASS. main dc tho.... idk. I’m kind of eyeing the new robin book but I think thats where my interest ends.

<3

#asks #ask #I can never remember my own damn tags #anonymous

[unironicduncanstan]

the “Tangodeltaindia” blog explained,

aka my brain has cringe spots on it and needs to be inspected by the FDA

hi my names randi/uni and i created a total drama island themed ARG two months ago on a whim that almost no one interacted with bc i started off way too niche and difficult, so i kinda just went increasingly off the rails because i knew most likely no one was monitoring my posts and i could just make a real cursed hidden tomb that could one day be discovered by someone in a goonies esque unveiling. but then i got lice and now im sad and uncomfortable so i’m just gonna explain the entire damn thing in one shot. its absolutely batshit and theres a reason no one uncovered it ok here we go;;;

first of all the name. its so stupid but. ‘tango delta india’ = ‘tdi’ in the NATO phonetic alphabet. it just felt like a funny place to start that implies its gonna be a puzzle blog idk,

moving on to the actual content tho; some of the earlier posts mean p much nothing and were just an attempt to draw people in, such as the mr coconut ‘like if you agree’ or the ‘let him inside hes cold’ posts. 

then theres the cipher (x). it was posted shortly after the height of the ‘using total drama reference pictures to make an alphabet’ meme. in case anybody didnt see that; for a while it was a joke in the fandom to take the transparent references of total drama characters, and line them up, using them like hieroglyphics to make translatable pictures. its supposed to correspond to the alphabet, based on the first letter of their first name. an example could be, alejandro = a, bridgette = b, and so on. there was no solidly set alphabet amongst the fandom though, it was self explanatory most of the time so i made my own solid personal cipher key for that blog to make the whole thing easier.

NOW ONTO THE FIRST PUZZLE POST,,,, (x). theres a scene, a string of text, the cipher key, and a link to a decoder. the way to decode it all is to plug the characters on screen into the tangodeltaindia cipher key, and then plug That translation into the decoder website, and then finally paste in the text under the photo. 

the website linked is to a Caesar cipher decoder. the Caesar cipher is just a code where the alphabet is assigned to numbers (a=1, z=26), and to encode something with it you can move this pattern however you want as long as you keep the regular sequence of alphabet and numbers. so you could scootch over One letter, and “abc” would now say “bcd”. so on and so forth.

looking at the scene + my own total drama reference cipher, alejandro = A, and the beaver = 1, which gives A1. so you could now follow the link to the website, press ‘decode’, and paste in the text under the picture. the ‘shift’ in the middle is automatically set to ‘7′, or as it shows, a -> h, meaning ‘a’ has been moved over by 7 letters. so if you set the shift to just 1 over, or A1, now you can translate the text. it reads;

“lets start simple. after all, a trail of breadcrumbs begins with a loaf. whats the harm in another long winded fandom meme. another inside joke. and arent you curious whats truly lurking inside?”

edgy! simple! kinda just a test to see if people would do it or not. which they didnt so of course i tried to make it weirder-

puzzle 2; (x) using the exact same translation rules as above. we have alejandro and the snake, which with the tangodeltaindia cipher key means A6. going to the website, putting it in ‘decode’ mode, pasting in your text, and setting the shift to ‘6′ gives you this translation.

“in his eyes are an island. nothing but a dream, born out of going to bed angry. sink or swim.”

this was just hinting around at where the story was gonna go so it’ll make more sense later. something else to note; if you zoom all the way in and look into alejandros eye (’in his eyes’), you’ll see the word ‘Thera’. ~thats a surprise tool that will help us later~

so after this one, there are two non-puzzle posts that are also just hints (i was just tryna see if i could get people hyped), the first is a close up picture of chris with red eyes that simply says “those arent his eyes”, and then a post that says “his real names not chris :)”, they’re again referencing his eyes, and this time further implying theres something fake or wrong about them, or with chris as a person. again, it’ll be explained better later on.

moving on to puzzle 3 (x), another test to see if anyones keeping up (which also failed josdfjsdfkjs), using the same translation rules, dj = a dash or minus, and the snail = 5, “-5″, shift the letter ‘A’ BACK five instead of forward, and you get the simple translation of; “getting harder now.”

puzzle 4 and 5; at this point, there are two images posted within hours of each other that i’ll explain together as they line up. (x) (x)

These are some of the only ones that can be translated from just the tangodeltaindia key directly. They end up a string of numbers, which are latitude and longitude coordinates. The first post, labelled “the lie”, translates into “45.57394802102744, -81.46817207492494″. googling that will take you to maps and show you to a place called Lonely Island in Canada.

The second one, “the truth”, translates into “36.404663113177534, 25.39605673375295″, taking you to Santorini, Greece.

This is where the hints got really out there bc i realized nobody was following along but i still wanted to paint a picture. so this is the set up;;; the idea that the ‘island’ (camp wawanakwa) existing somewhere in canada, is a lie. the ‘true’ location being santorini isnt meant to be taken at face value though. the mythology behind santorini is that a man impregnated a goddess and to escape the wrath of her father (triton), she formed the island (santorini) by having her lover throw clay into the sea, and then she gave birth to her son, Theras, on this island, giving the island it’s Other nickname, Thera.

this is again just a vague implication that the island might not be real at all, or that it was formed through cosmic means.

the next two posts are more non-puzzle hints, the first showing the definition of the word ‘fresh’ (new), and the second being images of total drama backgrounds with no characters and the text reading “they were always empty.” more, admittedly very outlandish implications that the island is some kind of illusion, but again mostly just another try to drag people into the blog.

puzzle 6. (x) this one introduces a new concept to the regular translation rules, some of the characters are laying down. its kinda supposed to imply they’re “dead” and that you need to take their corresponding letters out of the alphabet given on the Caesar cipher page, below the shift. The upright characters translate to “-9″, so you shift ‘A’ back 9 letters. Then remove the letters; “TH-E-R-A-S”, and with those letters taken out, you can finally translate the text.

“he creates life solely to destroy it. to crush it in his hands. he births chaos so that he may have something to control. the power has given him madness. the isolation, arrogance. don't try to stop him, he's already chosen to be unstoppable. his mind is a perfectly crafted prison, one we will all soon be living in.”

this is where the story gets more on the nose. it’s talking about chris, and about him being an unstoppable cosmic force, a diety who can create worlds within his own mind, and he does so maliciously just for power. hes created the campers through mental energy just to torment them. it also hints that his plan is to expand the world of total drama island and engulf the whole universe.

puzzle 7. (x) same as the last puzzle. beaver and moose translate to ‘1-0′ or ten. the characters lying down to remove from the caesar cipher alphabet are “T-U-L-P-A”. this doesnt have anything to do with the modern way some ppl interact with tulpas but just the actual idea of creating thoughtforms, or willing your thoughts into real life creations, referencing how chris has created the entire island and everyone on it solely through his mind. with those letters removed and the shift set forward 10, you get this:

“his psychic power is unfathomable. the reality he bore was just a passing thought. an idea that became so dangerous. he predates the idea of a mind, the minds own ability to recognize itself, his synapses are paradoxically ancient. the island exists only within himself, to torment the souls hes created, and damned from the start. will they ever be free?”

it states that chris is more than a man or even just a diety, hes an all powerful god already, yet he craves more power. the final line, “will they ever be free” is in reference to the campers, which segways into the next arc;;; freeing the campers from chris’ psychic island imprisonment.

puzzle 8. (x) to solve this one you have to translate the top image with the tangodeltaindia cipher key, and add it to the text given, which creates a link. this leads to a PDF, a page from a book written by terence mckenna. he’s a famous ethnobotanist known best for his studies on DMT, the strongest hallucinogenic drug in the world, its also known as the spirit molecule. many people on this drug (without any prior knowledge of this phenomenon) will recount meeting strange fractal beings that can create things in the universe just by speaking them into existence, theyve come to be known as ‘machine elves’, a term coined by mckenna. ill show the most important excerpt from the page;

this is less about the psychedelic drug part and more about the words and ideas, like “punching a hole through a dimension so it pours through” and “if god didnt exist man would invent him”. its more worldbuilding towards chris’ power and cosmic abilities

then come 2 more clues. a picture of chris holding his own body captioned ‘ego death’, and the meaning behind the name ‘chris mcclean’. the latter is another “please look over here” post, but the first is another minor reference to the previous puzzles answer involving DMT and terence mckenna. ‘ego death’ is a term again used with strong psychedelic drugs, its the sensation that your spirit as you know it is literally Dying, and you are instead connected to and a part of everything around you. another reference to chris’ power and how he may look like a man but his body and spirit are connected to the world hes built in unfathomable ways. at this point im cementing the idea that chris mclean is not a mortal man and cannot be fought with mortal weapons

puzzle 9. (x) this one was an attempt to make easier to solve puzzles, and comes with a visual of chris looming over the island. the text is in wingdings, which can be translated through multiple websites found through google. it says;

“s︎o︎o︎n︎ h︎e︎ w︎i︎l︎l︎ s︎l︎e︎e︎p.︎ h︎e︎ w︎i︎l︎l︎ d︎r︎e︎a︎m︎ a︎ n︎e︎w︎ h︎e︎l︎l︎,︎ a︎n︎d︎ t︎h︎a︎t︎ w︎i︎l︎l︎ b︎e︎ o︎u︎r︎ o︎n︎l︎y︎ c︎h︎a︎n︎c︎e︎,︎ t︎o︎ s︎a︎v︎e︎ h︎i︎s︎ c︎r︎e︎a︎t︎i︎o︎n︎s︎,︎ a︎n︎d︎ f︎r︎e︎e︎ t︎h︎o︎s︎e︎ w︎h︎o︎ w︎e︎r︎e︎ n︎e︎v︎e︎r︎ d︎e︎s︎i︎g︎n︎e︎d︎ t︎o︎ b︎e︎ f︎r︎e︎e︎.︎ t︎h︎i︎s︎ m︎a︎y︎ c︎o︎m︎e︎ a︎t︎ a︎ c︎o︎s︎t︎.︎ t︎h︎e︎ n︎i︎g︎h︎t︎m︎a︎r︎e︎ m︎u︎s︎t︎ e︎n︎d︎,︎ t︎h︎e︎ o︎u︎r︎o︎b︎o︎r︎o︎s︎ o︎f︎ h︎i︎s︎ s︎y︎n︎c︎o︎pe︎ m︎u︎s︎t︎ c︎l︎o︎s︎e︎,︎ b︎u︎t︎ i︎t︎ m︎a︎y︎ t︎u︎r︎n︎ o︎u︎r︎ e︎f︎f︎o︎r︎t︎s︎ o︎f︎ s︎a︎l︎v︎a︎t︎i︎o︎n︎ t︎o︎ d︎u︎s︎t︎.︎ o︎u︎r︎ f︎i︎g︎h︎t︎ m︎i︎g︎h︎t︎ e︎n︎d︎ i︎n︎ s︎a︎c︎r︎i︎f︎i︎c︎e︎,︎ r︎e︎n︎d︎e︎r︎i︎n︎g︎ h︎i︎s︎ l︎a︎s︎t︎ i︎n︎v︎e︎n︎t︎i︎o︎n︎ b︎u︎t︎ a︎ c︎e︎a︎s︎e︎l︎e︎s︎s︎ v︎o︎i︎d︎.︎ w︎e︎ m︎a︎y︎ s︎e︎e︎ h︎o︎r︎r︎o︎r︎s︎ t︎h︎a︎t︎ c︎a︎u︎s︎e︎ t︎h︎e︎ s︎t︎a︎r︎s︎ t︎o︎ s︎h︎u︎d︎d︎e︎r︎,︎ b︎u︎t︎ w︎e︎ m︎u︎s︎t︎ t︎a︎ke︎ t︎h︎i︎s︎ c︎h︎a︎n︎c︎e︎.︎ w︎e︎ h︎a︎v︎e︎ n︎o︎t︎h︎i︎n︎g︎ t︎o︎ l︎o︎s︎e︎,︎ a︎n︎d︎ a︎ w︎o︎r︎l︎d︎ o︎f︎ n︎o︎t︎h︎i︎n︎g︎n︎e︎s︎s︎ t︎o︎ e︎n︎d︎.︎ m︎a︎y︎ t︎h︎e︎ s︎e︎a︎ s︎w︎a︎l︎l︎o︎w︎ u︎p h︎i︎s︎ i︎s︎l︎a︎n︎d︎ o︎f︎ l︎i︎e︎s︎.︎ g︎o︎d︎ pr︎o︎t︎e︎c︎t︎ y︎o︎u︎.︎”

this is essentially saying that the island, the campers, werent all just created from his mind, but from his dreams. this confirms that he Sleeps, and claims hes going to sleep again soon, and during that time period theres a chance to kill him before he can dream up another world (or season) to control and torment. its also saying that theres a chance killing him will destroy the island and campers, but that its the only choice we would have to end the cycle. hey guys i am so bored and over the years i have been on every stimulant and anti depressant doctors are legally allowed to prescribe and its still just not quite there yet huh

puzzle 10. (x) the video, the title translates to “the island of his eye”. its just meant to encapsulate everything ive already been hinting around at but with real footage and some audios taken from the show, and again, it was me tryna make some lore that was easy to digest and also terrifying to an audience with no other context. the final images are the only new clues, if you pause fast enough you can barely make out the characters that (paired with the tangodeltaindia cipher key) would say “set them free”, and you can also see an aerial view of what is actually called “the eye of argentina”. it is a real island that rotates atop a swamp, it is geometrically perfect and no one really knows for sure why it rotates the way it does or how it was formed. this clue is simply related back to the idea that the island of wawanakwa’s location is not in canada, and that it does not function like a normal island.

puzzle 11. (x) what td blog is complete without a uquiz? anyways, it doesnt matter how you answer the quiz, theres only one possible result. the title is a link to a mega file, which is protected with a decryption key. the image attached to the result, when deciphered, is the randomly generated key to the unlock the file. the image you see from the file is this; (TW for mentions of self harm and eye trauma)

in case this is too hard to read ill transcribe what it says;

“How to escape the dream - accept that there is no dream to escape, and no you to escape it. - believe in it anyways. - sleep on your back. - cover your eyes. - hide a nail under the pillow. - wait for the ringing. - when you first see him, dont call his name. dont speak. - keep your eyes shut. - on the second night, ask where the camp is. he wont respond verbally. - on the third night, you’ll see his eyes. - on the fourth night, you’ll enter them. - you can’t turn back after the fifth night. - don’t try to hide your fears. he knows them before you arrive. - don’t shut your eyes for too long when it becomes too much. you risk losing them. - find chris mclean. - don’t stop till the nail is through the socket. - repeat on the other side. - repeat on yourself. - congratulations. they are free”

this is, believe it or not, an idea that comes from my very own sleep paralysis experiences. ive dealt with it a lot, so why not make a weird ritual thing for an arg based off it ig. so whenever i’d fall asleep on my back, i’d eventually hear this ringing in my ears (or it’d happen upon waking up), and then the sleep paralysis would begin. i only ‘saw’ stuff a couple times but the fear for me was really more about the overwhelming sensation of pure dread that always came along with it even when i was aware what was happening, and i Always got this feeling too that if i opened my eyes in that moment, something was gonna stab them.

so moving on to how that applies to the arg, the first few lines are about how, obviously, the island is not real, even in the lore being given its a figment of chris’ imagination, but you have to enter it anyways, and the only way to do that is to believe its real. then it tells you how to ‘enter’ that world, (btw i didn’t expect anyone to actually follow these instructions if found, but even if they did, the whole ‘sleep paralysis being caused by sleeping on your back’ thing usually only happens if you’re predisposed to having it and only happens to Some people who have it, so the intent was like. never to bring that upon anybody. but if you are prone to sleep paralysis plz do not attempt even as a joke or anything thx)

the parts about hallucinating chris then are as follows, “ask about the camp / he wont respond verbally” , meaning he will show you through a dream instead, one that might look a lot like the video from before. “on the third night you will see his eyes”, meaning you will see the island but not be able to interact with it, or basically, how we see total drama on tv right now. “on the fourth night you’ll enter (his eyes)” references the island existing ‘within his eyes’, meaning you will enter the actual island. the next night chris will sleep and you will be able to enter the island again and find him. the idea with the nail is that, if you destroy his eyes you destroy the ‘island’ within them. wrapping back around to sleep paralysis, the idea of stabbing yourself with the nail afterwards is because sometimes, the only thing you can move during sleep paralysis is your fingertips and toes, and wiggling those can help bring you out of the paralysis. so at first how i used to wake myself up, but it didnt usually work fast enough so oftentimes id just pinch the shit out of my fingers and use pain to make my muscles start up faster.

the next post is a link to a countdown. again, i knew nobody was rly following at this point, but i wanted a little more build up before just dropping the ending. it was set up to end 5 days after the last post, aka the one that mentioned a 5 night dream ritual.

puzzle 12. (x) going all the way back to the normal multi step translation puzzles. the coloring of the cipher is a bit different, and its missing chris, but its meant to be used the same as it was before, these changes are only for dramatic effect. and chris is gone because well. we mentally offed him in the inception dream land last time. so anyways the snake = 6, shift A to 6, take out the letters “R-I-C-K” of the characters laying in their graves, and you get this translation;

“its almost time. we must now crack open our minds like a crowbar to a sealed chest. like an egg to a pan. to find our way into camp wawanakwa our ego cannot remain intact, and to traverse it we must stay strong. to escape it, we must glue the pieces back together. now we sleep. dream. end the nightmare.”

this is a final message before ‘entering the island’ to kill chris and free the campers from the island. it acts like a pep talk.

the next post is just the countdown ending.

puzzle 13 (the finale). (x)

this post sends you to a new blog entirely, called @awakenfromthenightmare​. there is only one post on it. the post has another link to a mega file, and the link is attached onto a string of text. follow the link by clicking, then copy the text and paste it in as the decryption key. now you have another image to translate with the tangodeltaindia cipher;

when translated, the text is another link to a youtube video. 

 www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

so there you have it, that video is the ending to the entire arg. it didnt really end the way i wanted at first, i got burnt out from no engagement about halfway through which isnt anybody elses fault, but i still felt this was a well crafted and fitting finale. thank you all for reading.

#tw self harm ment./ // #tw eye trauma / // #tw unreality// // #tw drug ment/ // #long post/ // #like a mile long just look at the tws its a rabbit hol e