#i’m doing so well mentally now that it’s summer vacation

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐖𝐞’𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲… || 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠!𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ As a punishment for helping Coriolanus to cheat on the games, you’re sent to serve as a nurse in District 12 for the summer. He had to choose between Lucy Gray and you. He just needed a reason to pick you, luckily the songbird gave him one in time before you were gone. 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ evil nurse!reader x peacekeeper!Coryo, very slight canon divergence, jealousy, sexism, stalking, nudity, reader is a little crazy and evil, you can’t trust her feelings, angst, beef with Lucy Gray (I <3 her irl), blowjob lol, buzzcut!Coryo fucks reader in the lake so MDNI 18+, this is so fucked up tbh. 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞_ reader is mentally unreliable. Song of course is liability, I know it won’t work, Will you cry? And buzzcut season lol. All in my playlist, It’s the worst and will disappoint you.

♪ ♫ The worst playlist 4 Coriolanus Snow ✰ Index (+ fics here)

____________________________________________

You’ve made big mistakes.

You accept it looking at the lake, ripping the delicate petals of a wildflower. Having to say goodbye to your summer vacations after graduation was fair. Your parents convinced Dr.Gaul to have some mercy on you. You wanted to die when they convinced her that you did it because you were a girl in love. You helped Coriolanus to find the aisle where the snake's tank was going to be picked up.

You were so in love that you only wanted to help your lover. Coriolanus was far from being your lover. You heard him countless times making fun of you. And you still helped him because your good heart wanted to see him winning the prize.

And what did you get? Serving as a nurse in the worst district for the whole summer.

It’s been two weeks. And the only good thing is the evening, where you like to kill time alone, in the silent woods. The moment to breathe and realize how naïve you had been. You deal with the damage Coriolanus had done to you. And the worst part is that he couldn’t care less. He only had eyes for his songbird after all.

And that’s what boiled your blood. That it was her and not you.

There’s already a little pile of dry flowers around you, from all the previous days you were at the same position as now. The days passed and you weren’t ready to let go. You needed to find a way to forget about him. “Damn it…” you whisper, cringing at all the memories, rage invading you, violently throwing the flower in your hands and wiping away the tears.

When you return to the medical aisle, you need to pass by the military camp. You were obviously a Capitol girl. Anyone with a golden watch and lip tint was. Since day one, many peacekeepers have asked you out. They wanted to spend the night with you. But you weren’t in the mood to lose your virginity yet. You were stressed, angry, embarrassed, but you tried to put your best face.

“Y/N! IS THAT YOU?” You turn confused. Only to find Sejanus Plinth. It genuinely made you smile seeing him.

“Sejanus? What are you doing here?” You ask for a hug. His hair had to be gone, he had the peacekeeper uniform. You were extremely confused.

“The real question is what are you doing here?” You roll your eyes.

“Coriolanus. He cheated on the games.” He sighs, nodding.

“I know. He’s here too.” Your eyes widen. He notices you are uncomfortable.

“Well, I helped him, and Dr. Gaul punished me to serve here for the summer” Sejanus seems surprised to hear it. He sees your nurse uniform, noticing the silver plaque attached in your chest. He knew women of the military with that plaque were on a higher range. In your case, probably because your father paid for you to have some commodities.

“At least you’re here” you add.

Sejanus knew you weren’t on good terms with Coryo. The boy asked for you on the train. But Sejanus hadn’t heard from you. Which apparently left Coriolanus slightly disappointed.

“Yeah. I’m here… we’ll have a good time. Promise” honestly, you were relieved to see him. But just by remembering that Coriolanus was also near you, it made you wish you were still alone.

“Any plans for tonight?” He asks, smiling.

You only had three friends. All girls from District 1 and 2. They were serving just because they were kind and wanted higher chances to get into University. They comforted you and Fridays were for two things. Going to the most famous bar, where Lucy Gray performed. Or going to a secret and elegant club for people with enough status.

“On downtown’s Main Street. A block to the left, the second alley. Tell the guy at the entrance you know me. Use my full name” your friend giggles, slowly moving away.

“You’re unbelievable” as you go back to your private room with your new friends. You can only think of how to avoid encountering Coriolanus for the rest of the summer.

It was enough for him. You wouldn’t even breathe near him. It was you, always offering subtle love. And he gave nothing back.

…

Lucy Gray was such a warm and sweet girl. Her dress with flowers and detailed boots added something to her performance.

Her voice was hypnotizing, her smile so pure and her hair so soft. It was the third night Coriolanus watched her perform. He smiled, drinking something. It was a humble bar, but the most famous one. He looked around looking for Sejanus. Last night he never appeared either. Coriolanus was growing worried, noticing his friend was starting to contemplate rebellious acts to help the people. Always trying to be the hero. As Lucy Gray finished her song, Sejanus appeared. A big smile on his face.

“Where have you been?” The blonde asked.

“You have to promise me you won’t freak out” Coriolanus rolled his eyes.

“Y/n was punished for helping you to cheat. Gaul sent her here to serve as a nurse for the summer.” His eyes almost popped out.

He had completely forgotten about you. He cringed, already expecting to have you all over him.

“Does she know I’m here?” Sejanus nodded.

“Yeah. She wasn’t happy when I mentioned you.” Coriolanus suddenly remembered that the last time he talked to you, you cursed him. You got mad after he didn't even offer a thank you for your help. Coriolanus realized at that moment that you hoped he would choose you over Lucy Gray. Which didn’t happen.

“She has access to the club reserved for high status military personnel. I won’t say this is bad but there is better…” he looks at his songbird. Everyone cheered for her, but…

Suddenly, Coriolanus doesn't like that Sejanus had spent last night partying with you.

“Take me there.” He says, looking at his friend.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. She stated very clearly that-“

“Sejanus… I need to see her. I won’t cause any disturbance.” After a minute of debating, Sejanus stands up and tilts his head, telling Coriolanus to get out of the bar.

It’s a fair distance. Coriolanus has no idea where he is going. Until the end of an alley seems to have some hallway that irradiates red lights.

“Here it is.” Sejanus points out.

There’s a man with a different peacekeeper uniform. He asks Sejanus who invited him.

Coriolanus hears your full name for the first time. He learns you have two names and two last names. At the Academy you only used one of each.

“How do you know her full name?” He asks Sejanus when the man lets them inside the place.

The red lights start changing, mixing with crystal chandeliers and velvet walls.

“Our parents have made some deals in the past.” Coriolanus wants to know more. He needs more details about how you ended up in the same place as him. He doesn’t think you also paid to change districts like him.

“Hey. Whatever you plan to say to her, apologize to her. She’s a girl a million would pay to have. She just wanted to help you, Coryo” he doesn’t know how to take Sejanus. He sure sounded like always, the friend trying to give advice. But he also sounded… like he was one of the millions who would pay to have you. Coriolanus didn’t feel pleased.

Finally, the place is crowded. And the people inside look different than the ones at the bar. These people looked very clean and elegant to be in District 12.

The music is live jazz, the smell of pure tobacco and laughs everywhere. Coriolanus feels like he fits there. And he promises to talk with Lucy Gray the next day. After he left the bar she would ask where he did go.

But for now, his eyes start searching for you. A man in a suit that looked very Capitol started talking. Daring all the beautiful women there to dance, promising to crown one as the star of the night.

He hears a group of females laughing. And when he spots the group, you are being pushed to the dance floor.

Since Sejanus is nowhere to be found, Coriolanus makes his way closer to you.

He sees your natural hair down and wavy. Cranberry lips and gentle purple eyeliner around your eyes. A simple mauve dress, and he almost chokes about it.

Tigris made that dress. You asked her one day at the Academy. If she could make a dress from elegant fabric. Tigris said that she didn’t have enough to make a full gown. You didn’t care, you just hoped she could do something.

Coriolanus remembered Tigris making the dress late one night. And he tolerated you even less for making his cousin work harder. That was long forgotten when you paid her and referenced her to work with a friend of your mother.

You looked totally different. Not the same annoying material girl he knew at the Capitol. This humble version of you was totally attractive to Coriolanus.

He couldn’t tell if you were dancing tap, swing or something else, but you were good at it. A couple of times, he heard you talking with Clemensia and Arachne, about your winter concert or rehearsals. Now, it was evident you were good at dancing.

You laugh and people cheer for you. Mostly men, which for some reason makes Coriolanus tense his jaw.

The mauve fabric shined disguised under the chandeliers, and maybe it was just the sight of seeing you happy, or the way the dress hugged your body. But it made him smile. For the first time, Coriolanus feels a positive feeling about seeing you. He wants to talk to you. But he isn’t sure what he’ll say. So he opts to just see you for the night. He can see a slight layer of sweat on your forehead after two songs have passed. The crowd seemed to want you to win. And it only makes you more eager to do so.

In your head, this was a big distraction. It was the only moment of the week where you felt happy and free. It makes you forget about your pending University admission and all the drama. About your silly actions and disappointments.

The way your friends cheer and joke about making a bet to see who’d win between you and the other girl left. You really are having fun.

Until the remaining girl surrenders. It feels great. Being crowned as the star of the night, leaving the dance floor with so much admiration and looking over you.

Coriolanus sees how you cheer with your friends. You laugh and he swore he had never seen you smile and laugh so much. Maybe you are a little tipsy. He can’t tell, but after some minutes, one of your friends leaves with a man. The other two stay drinking, and you say your goodbyes.

Your dark coat covers everything once you’re ready to leave. And Coriolanus knows he shouldn’t, but he does it anyway. He starts following you.

Internally, he claims he did it because he thought it wasn’t safe for you to go back to the medical aisle in the middle of the night.

It’s not a long way. And Coriolanus notices how close his bed is to yours, literally.

He feels like an animal, following his prey. Only that he doesn’t intend to hurt you. Not more than he already had.

His legs act by themselves it seems. He keeps venturing into the decent building. It’s lonely and dark. Coriolanus notices that probably many nurses were already sleeping. He sees you enter a room, and he memorizes the number. Seconds later, when he’s about to leave, you come out again. A towel in your hand…

It’s his cue to leave. He knows it’s enough. He never should have followed you. Not when he was supposed to be listening to Lucy Gray and The Covey. Not when he paid to serve in District 12 for Lucy Gray.

But it’s too late because he’s already poking his head, and when his eyes meet your body, your coat and dress are on the floor. In a bench near lays a simple but naughty red pair of panties. Coriolanus feels himself getting red at the sight of the underwear, just red, no details, just red. Red like his cheeks, you are naked, under the spray of the shower.

As you’re supposed to be a person he barely tolerates, Coriolanus hates himself for admitting how beautiful you were.

The water coats your body in a gorgeous way. He sees your hair become slightly darker and falls longer across your back.

The shower smells like some summer fruit and it’s all because of your silly shampoo. Coriolanus had seen it before at the Capitol, it was expensive.

Something changes as you massage your scalp, giving Coriolanus a view of your soft and pretty stomach. Your breasts and some moles that are visible are the death of the man. He shouldn’t want to hold your waist and help you clean your body. He shouldn’t want to kiss every birthmark and mole covering you.

It’s the first time he sees a woman naked.

That night, you happily go to bed, soothing the heat wave. Some weight falls from your shoulders. And for the first time, you feel like everything was meant to happen, and it’s okay.

For Coriolanus, he has to touch himself to forget about your naked silhouette haunting his dirty mind. And when he ends, he takes a cold shower and falls into the tiny uncomfortable lower bunk. Sejanus was snoring already, some bunks without a host, probably still at the bars or sleeping with a lover.

Coriolanus is ready to sleep and pretend nothing happens. He would go back to his soft songbird by the morning.

But it doesn’t work. He knows he’s so messed up. Because you are still there, and not only your naked body. Your natural hair, sweet lips and the way you smiled, danced and laughed are there too.

…

When the sun rose, it was imminent that it was going to be a hotter day. The summer in district 12 was bright. Full of light, and green from nature in the surrounding woods. That’s not necessarily the case in the medical aisle. You woke up at 5:00 am to start your shift. Your soft hands had been classifying medicines through shelves.

“Y/n” calls one of your friends from the entrance of the storage room. She giggles after seeing you on top of the stairs, holding onto your dear life.

“Need help?” You smile, shaking your head.

“I’m okay, thanks. What happened?”

“There’s a telegram for you at the mailbox” was unusual. Only your mother called once to see how you were doing. She was still very mad at you.

“Oh, okay. I’ll go now…” with that, you hop off the stairs and leave the little box with remaining bottles on a desk.

After a minute of going downstairs in the building, you get to the mailbox. You give your name to the elder woman in the office and she hands you a cream envelope.

Making a pause in the hallway full of lockers for peacekeepers waiting for mail you open your own.

[The head of the hospital has shared with us you’re doing an outstanding job. This is what we expect from you after your return to the Capitol. Keep going and we might pull some strings to get you back earlier.

Take care, dad.]

You smile. It was enough for you. The anger was undeniably lowering. And going back to the Capitol would make you very happy. Already contemplating the perfect lie. That you went to serve as a nurse for charity, for your kind heart. Everyone would believe you, and the girls would be jealous of your bravery. Nobody would know it was a punishment.

A punishment caused by the man you had just bumped into.

He picks you the open envelope and once he hands it, he sees you.

“Y/n…” you take the envelope from his hand, avoiding the touch.

“Coriolanus” with less makeup than two nights ago, you look even more beautiful he believes. The white nurse cap was so silly, but it was part of your uniform. But he can’t help but blush after remembering how the water fell across your body. And how he touched himself that night.

“I-…Sejanus told me you were here.” Your eyebrows rise, nodding with disinterest.

“Yeah, I’m here because of you.” He sighs, realizing that his friend was right, you were really disappointed to see him.

“This isn’t what I wanted for you.” You roll your eyes. Already sick of wasting your time for him. You had been so scared to encounter him one day. But that you had him facing you, you couldn’t care less.

“Of course. Because you couldn’t care less about me…” he wants to say he actually cares. But the truth is, that before the night he saw you at the bar, he didn’t even remember you. But now, it was like you had put on a spell on him, making him want to know everything about you.

“Just stay away from sight of view and everything is going to be okay” he was shocked to hear you talk to him with much indifference. He was used to your sweet voice, asking him every morning how he was doing at the entrance of the classroom.

You were always at his feet. Helping him and doing everything so he would look down at you. And now, he actually was looking up, seeing how you went upstairs again. And he would do exactly the opposite of what you asked.

He would be everywhere if it meant seeing you again.

…

The bittersweet feeling of seeing Coriolanus stayed the whole afternoon until you finished your shift at 6:00pm. The heat was barely tolerable when the sun was almost gone. You went to the market, as you had promised to cook dinner for the girls that night.

The vegetables were fresh and there was a lot to pick. You carried a little basket filled with carrots, some potatoes and a piece of raw meat carefully folded. You were looking at some pair of earrings. They were handmade. With blue feathers and some tiny pieces of quartz. You smiled looking at them. When you were about to tell the little girl who was selling them, you felt very deep looks. And when you turn to the left, there is Lucy Gray and some of her friends from the band. She was sixteen, you were almost nineteen, you couldn’t pick a fight with her. She could hate you for being Capitol, for being such a bad mentor at the games. But maybe she didn’t knew that thanks to you she was alive. And the most important, she couldn’t hate you because of a man.

Before you can even feel awkward, you had already left the earrings and walked towards the girl.

“Is there anything I did to upset you, Lucy Gray? Because as far as I know we don’t know each other” that was the truth. You had your own motives to dislike her. But you hadn’t even turned to look at her. Unlike the songbird, who didn’t have a problem showing her disapproval of you with her face.

“Did you follow him here too?” You smiled. You didn’t know what Coriolanus had told her, or what she suggested on her own. Based on what happened, probably Lucy Gray believed you were the crazy stalker who couldn’t let go of Coriolanus Snow and his unrequited feelings for you.

“No. I was already here weeks before he arrived.” You simply answer her by looking at the notebooks in the table beside you. Lucy Gray couldn’t be jealous, but she had a bad omen about you.

“I was blinded by him once, just like you now. I helped him so you could win. Hoped he could choose me. And it wasn’t enough. He’s not the boy you think he is, Lucy Gray. You don’t know him like I do. But you can rest knowing I won’t lift a finger to make him notice me anymore” she seems surprised by your answer. But there’s no time for her to throw a rebuttal because you’re gone. Her friends gossip without her, saying how mean you were.

And Coriolanus had seen everything from a hidden corner. He was looking for Lucy Gray, already growing confused. Your words had gotten deep into his mind. While Lucy Gray was the sweetest girl he ever met, she also confused him. She had a rebellious side that he didn’t like. And you, he knew he would never be able to control you now, but he knew you would easily do the same things he did to win.

He stayed far, letting Lucy Gray to pass by with her friends. And when she was gone, out of the market, he came out.

He grabbed the same earrings you were looking at before.

…

It’s another night at the private bar. This time you know Coriolanus is there. He had the audacity to bring Lucy Gray. And you wonder if it was a good idea to tell Sejanus about the bar. Her green dress didn’t match the bar style. However, you ignore them as soon as your friends tell you they befriended a high standard peacekeeper. He had some handsome friends and they made you completely forget about Coriolanus and her songbird. You grew invested in the conversation with the men and your friends, even when one of girls makes fun of Lucy Gray and her visit to the secret bar.

Coriolanus keeps painfully turning to look at your way. He wants to go and get you out of the bar. But he already had a girl beside him. A much younger and innocent one. His anger escalates when a man takes you out to dance. You giggle as he says something in your ear. You had a pretty ruffled pink dress. Red lipstick and matching shoes.

“She looks happy…” Lucy Gray says, also looking at you.

“She isn’t happy. And that’s just an idiot” he spits pointing at the handsome peacekeeper dancing with you. He shouldn’t have said that, especially in front of Lucy Gray. But the way the man twisted you like a piece of the softest fabric, and the way he singed for you, it was taking over him.

It’s his hands that should be holding your hips. It’s his voice that should be making you dance. But Lucy Gray grabs his chin and offers him a sweet smile that makes him get lost on her brown eyes. She’s too good for him.

As he kisses her, he still feels the anger. Cause’ it should be you.

…

The roles had switched up. Coriolanus was infatuated by you. And now, you ignored him as if you never ever thought he was the love of your life.

Maybe is his hair, now short. Or maybe it is that deep sight he always has on you. The sweet boy that didn’t look on your way was gone.

As the days passed, you could feel the air changing. Telling you that your punishment would soon be over.

You flip through the pages, tons of files in the racks perfectly accommodated in the room. You read about all the frauds and corruption of the hospital and the military aisle. Enough to make you a dangerous target. So as soon as the headmistress nurse knows you have a long secret file in your memory, he gives you easy jobs.

And the dirty ones too.

Coriolanus follows you. Thought the archives rooms to the cold storage. He sees how there’s a tray ready to go. Some needles ready to pinch someone. And then you are changing the yellow liquid inside the injections, your face mask covering the small grin on your face. It makes him slightly shocked. He didn’t think you would be capable of doing such a thing. Some rumors flew across the militar camp. About a deal, between the heads of the hospital and the camp. Where they would secretly get rid of sick people from the district to stop wasting expensive medicines and other products.

But you hand the tray with an innocent smile.

And he grows worried. He can’t believe it, but he fears you could end up dead because of your little tricks. You leave early. So, he gains some confidence to follow you. He needs answers. He’s tired of following you to beg for your attention. It’s his lucky day that you chose to take the little trail that crossed the resting cabins of the peacekeepers. You walk past his cabin and his brain makes him walk faster, grab your forearm and push you inside it.

“What the hell?” You ask, startled. Looking at Coriolanus in shock.

The bunks are empty. Everyone is out.

“What were you doing? Switching the shots? You could get hanged or something else!” Suddenly you’re confused, questioning why he was caring now.

“There’s a lot more going on in the hospital than you could ever know, Coriolanus.” He understands it. And he isn’t surprised after all. Injustice happened everywhere.

But he wouldn’t easily let go.

“You could still get in trouble. Who’s making you do this?” You sigh frustrated, shrugging.

“Why do you care so much? Why can’t you leave me alone for once?” As you raise your voice, he grows impatient.

“I DO CARE ABOUT YOU!” Your silence makes him step closer.

“Seeing you dancing with that man, how he grabbed you, it boiled my blood.” Suddenly you feel nervous about his proximity.

And the cheeky asshole decided to step even closer.

“That shouldn’t be a problem for you” you do your best to keep the visual contact. But the way he’s looking at you is making it difficult. Especially after his lips are literally brushing your cheekbone.

“You are the one I desire.” He smashes his lips with yours. Honestly, you believe him. But it isn’t enough to make your heartbeats for him.

“Did you let that man touch you after you left?” You giggle, letting him wander under your nurse apron.

“My virginity is part of my pride and dignity” you answer, kissing his neck, letting his sneaky hands touch you everywhere. His right hand gropes your breast and the other is trying to hold the fat of your hip and ass like a starved man.

Your brain can’t work for some minutes. But you kiss him back. You decide he wouldn’t puppet you. Never again.

As he devours your lips, confirming you gave the softest kisses, yet passionate. You push him gently towards a random bed. And slowly, you get on your knees, dropping your nurse cap and navy blue cape to the floor.

Coriolanus is officially in shock as you drop his belt to the floor.

When he least expects it, you are already licking the tip of his cock. You make a wet mess of him. His head drops back, letting you do whatever you want.

He’s in heaven. Of course, you weren’t the most experienced but to be a virgin, you were quite an addictive lover.

In your head, you just can think about giving him pleasure. Your twisted plan would be effective as soon as he exploded. You put much effort in sucking and licking every vein of him. His length did not disappoint, and you mentally cursed as you realized he could’ve been your first time.

Coriolanus knows damn well it is over for him when his eyes meet yours. His tip met the back of your throat, and he ended up spilling his hot seed inside your mouth. You show him your tongue, covered in white, only to swallow everything. He gulps, feeling the remaining spasms of his orgasm.

“You’ll be the death of me…” he admits, taking a long breath.

As for you, you know it’s just a matter of time. If Coriolanus was so invested in making you look at him now, you would give him more reasons until he broke and admitted he couldn’t live without you.

So you clean your messy lipstick. Your nurse cap and navy cape perfectly in place and you look gorgeous in a mirror near the door.

“If anyone asks where I was, you say I went to drop some letters.” After that you don’t nothing else. He tucks himself inside his pants and stands quickly.

“Wait-” but you had already left.

…

In the night, Coriolanus starts looking out for Sejanus. He was going to ask if he wanted to go to the bar to see Lucy Gray. But he couldn’t find him. He feels his forehead sweating even in the middle of the night.

Near a little training center, he hears two recognizable voices. And when he turns into a little hallway, he sees you arguing with Sejanus.

“No, I’m not defending the Capitol, but these people are not worth risking your life, Sejanus” it’s the first thing he hears from you.

“They deserve better luck, y/n. Something we were born with.” Coriolanus sees you huffing, arms crossed as the slight wind makes your uniform cape lift.

“What’s going on?…” the blonde asks. You turn and sigh, expecting Sejanus to explain. You like to think Coriolanus would make Sejanus to think clearly. Like he did before.

There’s only silence.

“You won't tell him? I will…” you turn to Coriolanus. He can feel you are angry; you disapprove whatever it was happening with Sejanus.

“He’s helping some rebels.” Sejanus only looks down.

“They’re not rebels.”

“Well, they’re definitely not on the right track. And helping them will only lead to trouble.”

“Why are you doing this?” Coriolanus joins. He sounds tired, immediately remembering how he had to literally fight in the Hunger Games to save him.

“They are suffering. They don’t have anyone.” Sejanus replies.

“If you weren’t helping them, they would put a bullet in your head before you could even blink. They are not worth risking your life, Sejanus. I don’t want to see you hanged.”

“I appreciate your worries, y/n. I really do. But this is the least I can do after all the things my parents have aligned for me.” Your eyes water. Even after all the horrible you have done at the Capitol, as a nurse, you cared for Sejanus and Coriolanus. You might have been playing a game of manipulation with Coriolanus, but if he ended up in a mess that threatened his life, you would fear. The same for Sejanus.

“Sejanus…” Coriolanus felt slightly bad after seeing you at the verge of tears. He knew behind that new mask of indifference you were very soft.

“If something happens to you, I’m gonna live mad at you for the rest of my life. Life made us end up here for him…” you say pointing at Coriolanus.

And it’s true, you were sent to the 12 for punishment. Sejanus literally followed him just because.

“That’s enough penitence.” Feeling the tears flow, you start walking away.

Sejanus also feels wrong. But he’s confident. Both men stare at you, and different thoughts run through their heads.

“If anything happens, Coryo… Take good care of her.” Coriolanus looks at his friend.

He thinks you deserve more. He finally accepts there’s more to win by your side rather than following the songbird. Yet, he couldn’t push away Lucy Gray yet.

“I’ll take care of her, Sejanus.”

…

You don’t see the boys for the next two days. Until the night. When for emergency protocol you had to work. A fight in the bar caused some injuries to many men. So, there you are at 1:00 am sending gazes and bottles of alcohol. And when you are about to clean your own space, after a knock on your door, you see Coriolanus and Lucy Gray.

Unbelievable.

“What happened?” You ask as soon as you see him properly. The tray on your hands falls to the ground, making a loud sound. There’s blood on his face, a dark splotch on the right side of his nose. Beside him is Lucy Gray. Wearing one her bohemian dresses with her rural touch of always. You go to inspect his face.

“Got into a fight.” Coriolanus explains. You frown, thinking that is very ignorant and low. Completely disappointed of him for joining the cause.

“You got into the fight? Why?” He sighs, and Lucy Gray only huffs, helping him to sit on a bench. You ignore her, proceeding to take some cotton and equipment to stitch the little wound on his cheekbone. Your fingers are cold, and make him squirm as soon as they touch him.

“Some guy. He got violent after harassing her” of course it had to be for Lucy Gray all the commotion. Everything makes sense, the fight at the bar you listened to less than an hour ago. The songbird must’ve performed, and someone made a mess.

You can’t feel bad for her. While half of the district loved her, there was a considerable amount of people who disliked her, rumors saying she carried problems wherever she went.

“Hmm.” you have a lot to say, but you won’t spit everything at once. Coriolanus sighed, pretending it was because the alcohol was touching his skin, but it was because you weren’t pleased.

Even in his exile, he was between two women again. And while he couldn’t push away Lucy Gray, he couldn’t let you go too.

“Can you give us a moment, Lucy Gray?” he asks calmly. And maybe her reaction wasn’t meant to, but she showed that it made her uncomfortable.

“Sure. I’ll wait outside…” awkwardly she made a smile to the man seated in front of you and left.

Silence took over. You continued to clean the wound, and his deep blue eyes were locked on your face.

Finally, he was able to see your real beauty. Bare amounts of makeup. Hair down and short nails. No crazy looks, ridiculous hairstyles and cat nails. This was the real you.

“I didn’t start the fight…” he started.

“But of course, it had to be for her.” you finish for him. Again, he sighs, trying to avoid any possible irritation.

“It wasn’t her fault what happened.”

“Oh my god. Just listen to yourself! … Everything is her fault!” You burst after finishing with the needle.

“Why do you hate her so much?” He asks irritatedly, shrugging and expecting you to answer soon.

“I don’t hate her. I couldn’t care less for that poor girl. But she’s the reason why you got so obsessed with winning the damn prize. She’s the reason why you cheated and she’s the reason why you’re exiled, and I’m punished” he knows it’s true. In a matter of weeks, Coriolanus repeatedly questioned why Lucy Gray. And until two weeks ago, when he started questioning why not you.

Coriolanus smirks. Finding a way to evade a deeper conversation. He wasn't ready for the time to come where he had to decide. Lucy Gray or you.

“You sound like you’re jealous” he actually thought you would deny it.

“Of course it makes me jealous, Coriolanus!”

His smile fades away. You curse under your breath, moving aside to pick up the nursing equipment. There was no way back, and you wouldn’t lie.

“Ever since I met you, I wanted you to like me. And all I received were mean looks and judgmental jokes. About my hair, my lipstick, my dress, everything” you admit, sounding a little hurt.

“And this girl comes, and in less than two months she has you doing the impossible for her” you mumble. Coriolanus was never the romantic type. He was a man of few words and very analytical. He wasn’t a fan of the districts, so you wondered what could possibly be the reason for him to get obsessed with the songbird.

“Do you love her?” For you, it was a simple question. You always faced your feelings. But for Coriolanus, he tended to avoid his feelings.

He looked at the ground, at your boots before looking up at you.

“Why are you making this so complicated?” He asks, in hopes to avoid the real question.

“You won’t have both girls, Coriolanus.” When you come back at him, he stares directly at his view, at your waist. He focuses on the details of the grey and white fabric decorating you. There’s a tiny spot of blood near your breast, and some dirt near where he thought it was your belly button.

For sure, he knows he won’t have both girls.

“And as much as she tries to make you fit in. You don’t belong here. You and I were educated to live in The Capitol.” He’s well aware that with Lucy Gray, he would be pursuing a humble peaceful life. With you, he would be pursuing a luxurious and firm life.

The harder you are pushing his buttons, the harder you’re manipulating him. You trace his chin and neck, fingers grasping his silver chain. And you know he’s getting soft, vulnerable for your touch.

Maybe he changed his perspective of you after seeing you dance. After seeing you naked in the showers. After realising the type of woman you were.

“I would love to see when realization hits you. You’ll see that she only used you. You’ll notice that I was on your side and could’ve been for the rest of my life” his jaw tenses. He looks you in the eye again. You smile, thumb on his lower lip.

“And pretend as much as you can, selling me that face of I don’t care about you. But I know you do; you’re just blinded by the songbird. Count the days till she uses her singing against you. It’ll be too late.”

He hates losing, missing things. And you know it.

“She makes me want to be someone better.” His best attempt to soothe you makes you laugh.

“The summer will be over, and I’ll leave. She won’t inspire you to grow. She will make you lay still. I’ll be at the top of the Capitol again. And you couldn’t make your house rise…” that hit him in his pride. The fact that your words were true. He thought about Tigris and his grandmother. They deserved better.

“I want you to be someone better. And yet, you’re here. Without the prize, without being home. Just picture it… Where would you be if you had chosen me?” He really wanted to choose you. He just needed a fucking reason. But once again, you have disappeared.

…

He cared. But he cared more for himself.

That doesn't make him feel better though. He had doomed Sejanus Plinth by recording his words.

He couldn’t sleep, knowing that anything could happen the following morning. He has a tiny brown bag in his hand, clutched as if it was made of pure gold. He can’t wait, and he can’t sleep. So, he sneaks out of the camp and goes to your room. He needed to see you, he needed to choose you. That would mean leaving. Concentrating on you and his family. Pursuing the Capitol’s type of future, away from the country life.

Your friends were about to leave to go to the secret bar. And they tell him you were gone to the lake. It makes him realize how much you had to be overthinking. Just by seeing you, anyone could tell you weren’t from the districts. Spending the night in the lake wasn’t pleasant at all. With animals, mosquitoes, and the humid heat of the woods.

But he walks in the darkness. Hearing some crickets and frogs that guide him to the little visible light at the end of the trial. The more he walks towards it, the more he can distinguish you.

There you are sitting over a blanket. Reading a book, wearing a long pastel nightgown. The sight makes him smile.

He steps over a branch and makes you turn worried. But as soon as you spot him, you sigh, closing the book.

“What are you doing here?” You ask.

“I could ask the same question. It’s nearly midnight.” He sits beside you on the blanket, you only shrug, facing away from him, looking at the barely noticeable reflect of the lake under the moon.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Me neither” there’s a lot of things he wants to say, you want to scream it too.

“I wanted to give you this…” he hands you the brown bag. Frowning, you take it, your fingers brushing his, but you opt to ignore it.

When you dig your hands inside, you feel something soft. And when you see what’s inside, you can’t help but cheekily smile.

It’s the feather earrings you wanted at the market. He probably collected the least he could to pay for them. Or maybe he traded something. It’s uncertain, but you can’t deny it warmed your heart a little.

“You saw me?” He nods, watching how you cautiously caressed the pair.

“Then you must’ve heard me too…” Coriolanus heard it. But he would pretend the opposite. Just to avoid the question.

“I didn’t. I was passing by when you were looking at them. What happened?” You tilt your head, putting the earrings on.

“Your songbird is jealous of me… Does she know about the good time we had the other day?” He blushes, closing his eyes out of embarrassment.

“How do I look?” When he opens his eyes, he sees you have the earrings on. The blue feathers looked very outstanding in the middle of the dark. The light you brought did not make any justice to the beauty of your face. Barely highlighting your eyes and lips.

“You look beautiful…” there’s something on your mind. You want to ask so badly. And while you could pry about his thoughts of your new appearance, you don’t. Your voice slightly trembling as you start speaking.

“Did you and Sejanus have anything to do with the death of the daughter of the mayor and the boyfriend?” He closes his eyes.

“No.”

“Coriolanus Snow… Do not lie to me.” his arms come to rest on his bent knees. And you know the truth through his breathing.

“Sejanus went too far. I wanted to keep him alive” you sigh, feeling already stressed. Panic invades you, fearing for both boys.

“What if this is just what you two needed to end up in real trouble?” He looks at you, and he wants to kiss you so badly. He wanted a hug from you. He wanted you to love him like he knew you did during the Academy days. Just to feel some sense of normality. That this isn’t what his life turned out to…

“What if he gets killed. What if you get killed?”

“It won’t happen. It’ll be okay” your nails were going to suffer from anxiety. But he places a hand on your bare shoulder, calming you.

“Why can’t you give me a rest, Coriolanus?” He knows what you mean, and it makes his heart grow soft.

“Honestly. Before the games I barely tolerated you. But after seeing you here and everything that happened, you’re right. I can’t have both girls.” It makes you weak.

“What made you look at me? Why now?” He sighs.

Firstly, it was pure lust, your body. But at this point, he knew he could potentially end up alone. And he refused to let go of the person he had won since the beginning.

“Because I wasn't able to appreciate that I had you. And… I don’t want to be alone.” You nod, analyzing his words.

“But you have her. Since when is she not enough?” Coriolanus had to accept how analytical you were. He can be honest and be in peace with you or lie and keep fighting for you.

“I don’t think she’s ever been enough. We don’t have much in common. Just that we are orphans… if she never came along… I swear I know I would have ended up by your side.” You think you understand him. He just realized what he lost. And now he was trapped to decide. However, you were not going to give your heart again. Only time or a life-or-death situation would make you admit you still loved him.

“I said it before, I’ll repeat it again. I won’t be here forever…” he leaned closer. His hand caressing your chin, appreciating how soft your skin was. He wanted to crown your head with flowers and promise he was yours. Just not yet.

“I know…” his nose brushes yours, the tension grows and this time, you are the one closing distance to kiss him. You are so close to winning, to have him begging for you.

That night, he keeps kissing you, you read him your book for a bit and before realising it, both of you end up sleeping on the blanket.

In the morning, he finds you undressing to take a quick splash in the lake.

When you realize he’s awake, you smile at him.

“Morning…” like a slow striptease, you let the nightgown fall and he just stares at your body with the first rays of sun illuminating you.

“I don’t think this is a dream. Right?” You chuckle before your body disappears under the water.

It’s the perfect invitation. He joins you, and the first minutes of his morning are spent kissing you. Only to end up in the same blanket both of you slept on. With him on top of you.

“Tell me to stop now.” He says in your mouth. Your leg slowly slides through his ankle, sending shivers through his spine.

“I think it’s too late for that.”

He returns you the favor. His head between your legs is the most erotic thing he’s ever heard or seen in his life. It’s so dirty, eating you out in the middle of the wild. You taste better than expected, and it feels simple, even natural to please you. He can see how your back arches when his nose gently touches your clit. He feels so proud, and he can already see how well you two could handle being lovers. He remembers how you sucked his cock and how good you did it.

To you, you felt some insecurity, because he hadn’t decided on you. But you already feel the lead being on your side. Soon that thought fades away, because the pleasure is becoming too much. And you’re ready to receive the upcoming orgasm.

You forget about Lucy Gray, Sejanus, the deaths, your return to the Capitol.

Everything is gone as soon as you feel him. Even the pride and dignity you talked about on losing your virginity.

It just feels like it was meant to be.

“You’re so perfect…” he says, eyes on your stretch marks, fingers tracing them before moving towards north and pinching your nipples.

The way you clench around him, his lips leaving red marks on your breasts that would soon turn purple. Your moans, and your dirty mouth cursing.

“Fuck- oh, Coryo!” He couldn’t believe you just cursed. But he then realized he was fucking you. Maybe he had already chosen.

“More, please-“ you manage to say between moans. And he’s in heaven again. He fucks you harder, faster, already feeling he was close too. The silver chain dangling just in front of your face. You swear he had split you in half, but the pain was nothing compared to pleasure.

“Wait for me. We’ll do it together” you nod, noticing how intimate and passionate your first time was being. He wanted you to wait for him. And it made your heart clench. You need to hold him. So, your arms hug him, and he understands, leaning to end up with your foreheads together.

In a matter of seconds, you both reach climax.

“Promise me you’ll be careful” he nods, kissing you one last time.

“It’s gonna be fine.”

But it isn’t. You run as soon as your friends say Sejanus Plinth was going to be hanged for treason. You run and your feet burn.

When you make it, you have to hear him screaming for Coriolanus. You start reaching the front faster. But you meet his blue eyes, and you are able to see him saying no to you. Your heart beats fast, sweat on your forehead and eyes watering faster than ever.

When you look at Sejanus again, his neck broke and he was already hanging.

Coriolanus sees the shock and terror on your face. The birds flying and repeating the last words of Sejanus make it worse. He holds the rifle firmly, but his eyes water too.

He follows you as soon as he’s able to leave. Too many things happening at the same time. And he really regrets not noticing you before. None of his life would’ve been ruined.

He finds you alone in your room. Your friends were working. But you were crying on the floor, covering your face and sobbing loudly. His heart broke, and he let some tears fall too. So he couldn’t resist it anymore. He went to hug you tightly.

As soon as you felt him, you hugged him back.

“He deserved better…” you mumble between sobs. You say he was a good man. But soon your sobs stop, and Coriolanus can almost hear you plotting.

“Where is the gun you used, Coriolanus?” His heart stops, and that’s his epiphany.

“I don’t know. Lucy Gray must know…” the girl could easily be fast to learn where it was. You remain silent.

After some minutes of crying, he’s still holding your hands.

“Lucy Gray wants me to go with her outside of the districts…” you don’t have the strength to laugh, but you really wanted to.

“One last time. Do you love her, Coriolanus?” He knows it’s time and there’s no going back. So he sighs, feelings the dry tears on his face.

“No.”

Your soul can finally rest.

“In two days, I’m leaving. I got accepted by Gaul into University. I just learned this morning after receiving mail.” He looks deep at your eyes. Trying to understand what you just said.

“Then you are going with Lucy Gray. You find the gun and if needed… Also get rid of her” you knew Lucy Gray was there when the incident happened. You had also made up your mind. And you would give Coriolanus one last chance.

“I’ll wait for you for two days. If you come back, you know I’ll be yours. But if you decide to stay with her, I’ll understand. And your secret will die with me.” He feels you kiss his cheek and after that, you quietly leave. Giving him no choice but to pack to meet Lucy Gray at the Hanging Tree.

…

You wait impatiently for your train. Coriolanus was gone. He didn’t return. So, you wait with your heart full of fissures. Your violet dress makes you a target among the station. You look very Capitol again. But something from District 12 changed you.

And then you hear him. Calling your name.

When you turn, you see Coriolanus almost running towards you. You can feel some tears forming. Your messed up mind was ignoring all the hell he made you feel and see. Like he never killed anyone, like he didn’t take so long to choose you. Like you didn’t know he consciously chose to be a bad person.

He looks agitated, with his peacekeeper uniform intact. His blue eyes look thrilled. Like a lot of emotions were invading him at the same time.

And the first thing he does when he’s in front of you, is to smash his lips with yours.

It takes you by surprise. The way his free hand immediately goes to your chin. In the middle of the train station. Feels like you were meeting your lover who survived war. It feels wrong to be savoring the moment you realize Coriolanus Snow finally chose you.

At that very moment you tangle your arms around his neck, stepping on your tiptoes to deepen the kiss. He feels you smiling, and that’s all he needed.

He needed to kiss you to forget about the cabin, the birds, the gun and Lucy Gray Baird.

And he does, your lips assuring him it was okay.

He isn’t evil, he can’t be when a sweet woman like you was kissing him back.

It was delicate for sure.

“Is it over?” You ask between tears. He nods, smiling, holding you close to him.

“Everything is over now.” You won’t ask what happened. You will just savor the victory.

“I can go to the Capitol. Gaul wants to see me” your eyes shine, relief flowing across you. Knowing you will be able to go back home with him.

“Where does this leave us?” He chuckles.

“We’re marrying as soon as we make it to District 2, dear” he kisses you to soothe your shock.

Almost at the end of the ride on the train, you chuckle looking at the window. He looks with curiosity, still drooling over you wearing the earrings he gave you. They would be his reminder that you had been there since the beginning, when he had nothing to offer. And yet, you stayed.

“What?” He finally asks.

“We’re a liability, you know?” A smile forms on his face. He shouldn’t be smiling, but he does anyways.

“I would repeat everything if it meant ending up here with you” and it was true. Because he would receive the money from the Plinth family, he would be able to study from Gaul, with you. He would get rid of Highbottom, and anyone on his way. But what seemed to be the most urgent matter, was to make you his wife.

But for now, he just takes your hand, kissing it.

….

Soft!Coriolanus fic is next. Hint? It’s gonna be based on Supercut from Lorde. Thanks to my crush with Tom Blyth, I realized Reputation and Melodrama are my favorite albums on earth. If you want to be tagged on the next fic, comment!!!!!!!! <3.

Taglist: @peachyharht @toogardenheart @slytherinholland @futurecorps3 @asapkyndall @speedycashflowerbasketball

#coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x sejanus #coriolanus x you #coriolanus x reader #young coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow #coriolanus smut #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas

[gyuuberryy]

fight for my way!

pairing: best friend’s brother!heeseung x martial artist!reader x bff!jungwon, ft lee chaeyeon as your best friend

summary: you’ve harboured a huge crush on your bff’s brother, heeseung for quite a bit. each encounter with him has you stuttering and blushing like a mess much to the dismay of your best friend, jungwon. it’s summer vacation, but unfortunately you won’t have the time to relax as you battle with your newfound feelings instead of kicking someone’s ass in training for taekwondo. you certainly did not sign up for this 

genre: f2l, best friend’s brother trope, crack??, coming of age, jungwon and mc practice taekwondo

warnings: making out, fighting, angst, fluff, swearing, mc beats up someone, mentions of blood, mc is super embarrassing and a major simp teehee, flirty heeseung(as always), i know nothing about taekwondo so please excuse me if i made any mistakes related to it

note: nothing based off the drama ahaha. this was originally a txt fic, now republished as an enha one(it's edited). i wrote this like a year ago and idk why but some parts of it give off disney movie vibes💀 enjoy!!!

word count: 8.1kish

If you liked it please reblog or comment to give me your feedback! <3

you knew it’s wrong to simp over your friends, but you couldn’t help it.

since when did yang jungwon get so hot?

you hadn’t even worn your dobok yet and you were already sweating just looking at him box with that punching bag. his arm muscles flexed and rippled deliciously, and his face which was contorted into a focused expression, glimmered under the studio lights due to the layer of sheen sweat that coated his body. a drop rolled down the bridge of his nose and was about to land on his lips when he stopped and wiped it off. the sudden change in movement brought you out of your daydream and you mentally punched yourself for drooling over one of your best friends. 

you need to stop simping over anyone who is even the slightest bit hot.

slinging your bag over your shoulder, you walked towards the locker room to get changed. shuffling through your belongings, you tried to find the plastic in which you had kept your dobok, when you were startled by the feeling of someone's hand on your back. you looked behind to see your best friend chaeyeon grinning at you. 

“you’re a bit early today.”, she stated. 

“yeah, my mom kicked me out of the house at six in the morning.” you sighed, “i was wandering around till class started.” 

chaeyeon patted your shoulder sympathetically. ever since the summer holidays for your senior year had started, your mom had been making sure you didn’t laze around the house and be productive everyday. this was the last year for your taekwondo training and then you would finally receive your black belt. so, your mom felt it was important for you to go for training. 

every. single. day.

honestly, you were a bit pissed in the beginning because you couldn’t join the rest of your school friends on their month long trip to kyoto. but, jungwon and chaeyeon were staying back as well for their training, so it wasn’t that bad. 

you wore the white jacket on top of your t-shirt and slipped your belt through the white loops. your pants were almost up your calves when chaeyeon spoke again. 

“do you wanna come over to my house in the evening? we should get started on our physics project.

you jumped in excitement at her offer, “is your brother gonna be there?” 

chaeyeon slapped your arm, “why does that matter? we have to do our work, i’m not going to sit there and watch you fangirl over him.” 

ah yes, chaeyeon's brother, lee heeseung. 

the man you were absolutely smitten with.

the perfect, handsome, smart and talented golden boy of the school.

your crush of three years.

and lately, it felt like he was reciprocating your feelings as well because he had started flirting with you back. you didn’t care if you were being delusional, you would take any chance to interact with him, which is why you were always ecstatic to visit chaeyeon’s house.

“just tell me please”, you dragged out your sentence in a whiny voice, making chaeyeon hiss at the annoying sound. 

“okay okay, he’s going to be there. he has nothing to do this week.” 

you squealed and pumped your fist in the air. chaeyeon just rolled her eyes at your actions and pulled you out of the locker room to join the training.

you lay spread eagle on the blue foam mat. your arms felt like wet, heavy ham and the muscles in your thighs felt like they were stretched to the maximum. you really shouldn’t have skipped your warm up, but you had no idea how rigorous today’s training would be. your coach was hellbent on making sure you perfected your double roundhouse kick and only let you take a break when you got the hang of it. these were probably the most tiring four hours of your life. 

suddenly, a handsome face came into your view as the person loomed over your body and blocked the light, making you jolt up. after getting a closer look you realised it was just your best friend, jungwon. you stomped on his feet out of annoyance. 

“you startled me man.” 

“i thought you fell asleep”, he huffed at your actions “let’s go home now, my stomach is gonna digest itself if i don’t feed it anything soon.”

you rolled your eyes at his exaggeration and went towards the locker room to get your belongings.

chaeyeon had already left before you both, so you took the shorter route towards your house. usually, you both would drop her off along the way and then walk back together since you lived right next to each other. 

the walk back home was rather silent, filled with occasional slurps of the popsicles you both had bought. your walks home were usually always filled with a comfortable science accompanied by some type of snack. lately, you both had been trying to eat all the popsicle flavours of the new trending brand. so today, you both tried the cherry lime flavour and honestly, it was absolutely disgusting. you stared at the bright red and green ice on the stick and grimaced. 

“this tastes really bad”, you stuck out your tongue in disgust “especially the cherry side, it’s just frozen cough medicine.” 

jungwon shrugged his shoulders, “i kind of like it, the combination is nice.” 

you wrinkled your nose at his remark, “you have bad taste.” 

he turned to look at you with mock hurt on his face when you noticed a red stain from the popsicle on the corner of his lips. you walked up to him and  tried to rub off the insistent stain from the corner of his lips, making jungwon freeze in his spot. you looked at him to be met with his eyes already staring at your face. his face looked flushed and his eyes were wide open. his eyes.

they were so mesmerising, looking like pools of freshly brewed coffee that always held a sparkle in them. you quickly moved away when jungwon suddenly spoke up.

“w-what are you doing?”

you cleared your throat and looked away, “you had a red stain on your face.”

these types of awkward encounters had been frequenting a lot between you both lately and you felt slightly bothered by it.

he rolled his eyes and tried to play it off, “your lips are green, eat the cherry part also. you look like mike wazowski.”

“shut up.”, you muttered while wiping your lips.

you handed your half eaten popsicle to him and resumed walking. feeling disgusted by the sight of him gorging down both of the disgusting frozen treats you decided to change the topic. 

“i’m going to chaeyeon's house later to start our physics project.” 

jungwon nodded absentmindedly at that.

“hee is gonna be there too”, you sighed dreamily, making him glare at you.

“why are you still obsessed with that bastard?”

you gasped in offence, “how dare you call him that? he’s an amazing guy.”  

jungwon chucked the ice cream sticks in the nearby dustbin a bit too forcefully for your liking. every mention of heeseung’s name always riled him up. both of them were academic rivals, always competing for the top spot, which was why they were never nice to each other and always bickered. but you were not letting their issue meddle with your non-existent love life. 

“he’s annoying and not a nice guy”, jungwon walked faster making you break out into a slight jog.

“just last week i saw him walking around with a new chick.” he threw his hands in the air, “how could he do that when he just dumped his girlfriend!” 

yeah that was true. heeseung was a bit of a playboy. you weren’t surprised though, his good looks and personality had girls throwing themselves on him right and left and he just accepted it. you didn't mind, you were ready to forgive him for that.

“i don’t care, i know he would never hurt someone intentionally.” 

jungwon shook his head at your obvious lovesickness. you were too blinded by your crush to notice the possibility of getting hurt. you waved him off when you reached your driveway. 

“bye won, i have to pick an outfit for the evening.” 

jungwon didn’t bother looking at you and just simply reminded you that it wasn’t a date. but who cares? definitely not you.

the shiny silver doorbell was waiting for you, inviting you to press it, but you just stood like a fool at chaeyeon’s doorstep. why were you getting nervous for absolutely no reason?(heeseung). it’s not like this was your first time visiting her house. 

you dismissed your worry with a nervous chuckle and smoothened your hair down one last time. the summer heat was making it frizzier by the second and you had to look your best for heeseung, which meant you had to enter the house soon. taking a deep breath, you finally pressed the doorbell. 

a few moments later, the door swung open, unveiling the most beautiful sight known to mankind—heeseung's beaming face. he gave your outfit a quick once-over, and his smile evolved into a teasing smirk. glancing down at your sage green tank top and acid-washed denim shorts, a hint of uncertainty crept in. were they not to his liking? despite your attempt at a casual look, a moment of self-doubt lingered in the air.

“what’s up?”

his voice broke you out of your dilemma. now you felt too scared to respond. taking another deep breath you tried to keep your voice steady. 

“i’m here to study with chaeyeon.” 

for some reason, his smirk grew even wider as he checked you out once again, casually leaning against the doorframe. wait, was he actually checking you out? you really sucked at this love stuff because you had absolutely no idea what was going on. were you reading into things too much?"

“studying during summer break?”

he raised his eyebrows as if reminding you to speak. you cleared your throat, “yeah we have to complete a physics project.” 

he nodded. “chaeyeon is out running errands though. she won’t be back for another hour.” 

you frowned at that information, “but she told me to come over.” heeseung shrugged his shoulders, motioning for you to come in. 

“you can wait in her room.” 

you had no choice but to agree because he had already started walking in. you sighed and mentally sent a prayer to all the gods to prevent you from embarrassing yourself further. 

suddenly, he stopped in his steps and spinned around to face you. you immediately forced your feet to stop walking to prevent crashing into him. “do you want to watch a movie with me instead?” 

your heart dropped to your toenails at his words. as much as you wanted to jump at the offer, there was no way you would survive an entire movie with him without embarrassing yourself. 

tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you tried to look as apologetic as possible, “actually i should get started on my work, maybe another time?” 

heeseung shrugged, “yeah sure.” 

you gave him a sheepish smile and started your ascent up the stairs to chaeyeon's room. the entire time, you could feel a pair of eyes burning into your back. the outfit was a good choice. smirking to yourself, you pushed the door to chaeyeon's room open. 

it had been over an hour and so far you had listed out all the main points and subheadings to be included in your project. you had no idea when chaeyeon would come back; every time you called her she would say that she'll be home soon. there was a lot of rush at the supermarket she had forcibly gone to with her mom. you had thought about going back home but your mom wanted you to study as much as you could and it wasn’t evening yet, so here you are. 

your face was almost going into the laptop screen because of the amount of concentration you had on finding the perfect template for your ppt. the opening of the door shortly distracted you, but you deemed that it was chaeyeon. 

"bro, what took you so long?”, you spoke in a exasperated tone “was it actually that crowded? it's not even a weekend today." you didn't bother looking behind and continued doing your work. 

you immediately stopped what you were doing as the feeling of two arms wrapping loosely around your collarbone made you stiffen up. a warm breath fanned your neck sending chills down your spine. "it’s me."

heeseung.

how and why were his arms wrapped around you? you weren't complaining because this was your dream come true but at the same time this was not good for your heart, which at this point was about to beat its way out of your chest. 

you rolled your chair away from his hold and stood up, almost about to trip over nothing. you were sure you looked redder than a tomato right now, but you somehow managed the courage to look up at heeseung, who was already staring back at you. his head was tilted slightly and his pink lips were scrunched up in a pout. 

brushing a non existent stand of hair away from your face, you decided to question him about his previous actions. 

"why did you do that?"

he looked at you innocently in question, as if asking you what?

"the hug, why did you just hug me out of nowhere?"

a look of realisation crossed his face and he just chuckled softly at your question. "i was pretending to be chaeyeon." he smirked, "why? don't friends hug each other?"

if he was flirting with you or friend zoning you, you had absolutely no idea. you had to change the conversation quickly. 

"why did you come up, is chaeyeon back now?"

"she's on the way now," he pointed towards the door, "i just made some rose lemonade. let's go drink that while you wait." 

you nodded and followed him down to the kitchen. you leaned against the marble counter, trying to look as calm and collected as possible while heeseung fetched the pitcher full of the pink drink. suddenly, he turned around and started walking towards you, making you instantly freeze at your spot with an awkward smile etched onto your face. he got closer and stopped once his feet were almost touching yours. giving you a dashing smile he slowly leaned forward. was he going to kiss you? 

your dream is finally coming true! you closed your eyes and puckered your lips slightly in anticipation for his to land on them. but that never happened. you opened your eyes to see a wide eyed heeseung staring back at you with two glasses in his hand. oh, he was only reaching for the glasses behind you. 

embarrassment washed over you, making your cheeks flame up in shame as heeseung chuckled. you really wanted to melt away into a big puddle of nothing right now. clearing your throat you snatched a glass from his hand and poured yourself the lemonade. heeseung watched you with an amused smile as you chugged down the entire glass in one go to cool down your burning cheeks. 

“was it that good?”

you nodded enthusiatically, “you have to send me the recipe!” 

heeseung laughed at your reaction and poured you another glass. he probably had the most beautiful laugh and you could hear it on replay for hours. you smiled dreamily at him. by now, literally everyone knew about your humongous crush on him. 

the thing was, you had horrible flirting skills and were always oblivious if someone showed interest in you. your exemplary skills in taekwondo and bubbly personality had attracted many but you ended up friendzoning them unintentionally. you only had eyes for heeseung, who was currently washing the dishes you both had drunk from. he was such boyfriend material. you stood up straight once he spoke up.

“my friend is hosting a party this friday.” he turned off the tap and wiped his hands on the kitchen towel. “i’m sure you know who jake is.” you hummed in reply. 

“you should come, it’ll be fun.” 

you were usually never interested in parties, in fact you never had the time to even think about it while juggling school and taekwondo together. but, you had a bit of free time now since school was off. and heeseung’s offer kind of seemed like he was asking you on a date? you can’t just straight up ask him that so maybe you should just go and find out. this could finally be your moment to directly confess your feelings. you were getting tired of holding them back.

“okay,” you smiled, “i’ll be there.”

heeseung’s face brightened up at your words. “that's great-”

“can i bring jungwon as well?” 

his smile dropped, but he nodded somewhat enthusiastically, which didn’t really show on his face. oh right, they hate each other. the air turned awkward at the mention of his name and you were brainstorming things to change the subject when you were saved by the doorbell. 

you immediately perked up the sound, “ah, i think chaeyeon is home.” 

heeseung gave a forced smile back, “yeah, have fun with your project. i have some work to do. i’ll see you on friday.” with that, he walked back to his room.

your face fell at his sudden change of behaviour. you knew he had no work to do this week because chaeyeon had told you so. it was kind of weird but you assumed it was probably because you mentioned jungwon. he shouldn’t dislike him so much though, afterall he was one of his sister’s closest friends. shrugging it off you walked to the door to let chaeyeon and her mom in.

it was the day of the party and jungwon(who had agreed to attend after much of your insistence) and you stood right outside the door, waiting for someone to open it. chaeyeon had decided not to attend the party and had gone out with her other friends to the amusement park instead. you would have joined her as well because parties were not your thing and you’d rather spend your time riding roller coasters, but this was a matter of love. you had to make sacrifices for your dear heeseung .

the door opened to reveal a beaming jake, “oh hi guys!” he motioned for you both to come inside, “the drinks and snacks are over there and we’re playing games in the living room.” he patted you both on your backs. “have fun!” both of you smiled back at his warm welcome and walked inside the huge bungalow. 

the kitchen counter was lined up with all sorts of colourful sodas and delicacies. the living room stretched far and wide, making you gaze at it in awe. colourful fairy lights were strung across the ceiling, setting the people’s face aglow with multiple colours. trending pop songs blared through the speakers and you could feel the bass thump to the beat of your heart. people were spread across the entire house and some of them were gathered outside in the lawn. 

jungwon pointed at the people playing games, breaking you out of your trance.“i think they’re setting up a game of twister, let’s go join them!” 

you shook your head, “i should go find heeseung first.” 

jungwon’s jaw ticked at your words. he rolled his eyes as he spoke, “i don’t think you should do this, he’s not a good guy.” 

you frowned at his words, “how do you know? you just hate him because he is better than you in academics.” 

he grasped your shoulders and his eyes turned serious. “that’s not the problem. i’ve seen how he treats people. he may act all nice and sweet in front of you, but he’s actually really shallow.” 

he sighed at the perplexed look on your face. “he’s a walking red flag and i’ve been trying to get you to understand that for a long time.”

you remained unfazed at his words because just like he had mentioned, he always said the same thing. no matter what happened you were going to try to shoot your shot. 

flashing him a sympathetic smile, you patted his shoulder. “sorry buddy, nothing is going to stop me. unless you have feelings for me or something.” 

you snickered at your ridiculous thoughts, missing the blush that overtook jungwon’s face. he looked away at your words and shrugged his shoulders. 

“okay then, i gave you enough warnings.” rolling your eyes at this dismissive behaviour you grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the group of people setting up the game of twister. 

“calm down drama queen, let’s play this first then i can go accomplish my mission.” he sighed and accompanied you as you said.

the game was going pretty well and you were confident in your chances of winning. you were in a fairly easy position compared to others, who had their limbs twisted in all sorts of hilarious ways. especially jungwon, who was basically in an upside down table pose. you tried not to notice the way his biceps were bulging out from under his black turtleneck, but it was hard to do so. 

looking away from him, you accidentally made eye contact with heeseung who seemed to have just arrived at the party. you waved at him and motioned that you will talk to him later. he gave a bright smile and flashed a thumbs up at your actions. soon after he looked away, a girl with bright red hair walked up to him and kissed his cheek. your heart shattered at her actions. does he have a girlfriend?

he proved your assumptions incorrect when he pushed her off of him. getting a closer look, you realised it was his ex-girlfriend. she was probably just a psycho. you were planning to spy on them more, but annoyed shouts of your name brought you back to reality. 

“what are you doing? you’re the only one left to finish your move, everyone is already done.” 

apologising, you looked at the wheel that had decided your next move. looking back at the twister mat, you realised that all the good required spots were taken. the spots that were left for you were only reachable if you bent over jungwon, which meant you would be leaning over him until the next move. you had no idea why you were feeling so nervous about it though. he was your best friend after all, you were the closest to him. you’ve been together since childhood. it was stupid to feel nervous over something so trivial.

putting on a cool exterior, you leaned over him to take your position. both of your arms were placed next to his torso and your face was directly hovering over his. you were shocked to see his cheeks turn red because of the close proximity of you both. he was avoiding eye contact with you and you frowned. one nudge of your elbow brought his eyes back to yours.

deja vu hit you as you couldn’t help but get lost in his mesmerising eyes once again. that one twinkle that was always present in them no matter what, the colour of his orbs and the warmth they held every time they looked at you made you lean in closer. you were so close to each other that you could see your own reflection in his eyes. butterflies filled your stomach and you felt warm and fuzzy all over at the realisation of your close proximity with him. jungwon could now feel your warm breath on his lips, making him close his eyes in anticipation of his next move.

but instead of that, your face crashed onto the expanse of his neck with an embarrassingly loud smooch. some idiot had kicked your leg by accident, which made you lose your balance and bring down jungwon with you. you don’t know what demon possessed you to do this, but you took a big sniff and the smell of vanilla and cologne invaded your senses, making you sigh out in content. the feeling of jungwon’s body stiffening under you brought you out of your stupor and you immediately scrambled to get up. why did you act like a creep, you want to cry now.

you awkwardly rubbed the back of your neck when everyone started clearing away. the game had ended because the idiot who had tripped you had also ended up rolling down the entire mat merrily like a bowling bowl, knocking everyone down. 

that wasn't the issue right now though. were you just going to kiss your best friend? there was no way you had any sort of feelings for him. just a month ago you had given him a friendship day bracelet and told him how your friendship had to last forever or you would bite his nose off. so now why were you so curious to know what his lips felt like? you spinned around to see jungwon clutching his chest like he was a heart patient. 

trying to push away the recent embarrassing encounter into the deep, dark pits of your brain, you walked up to him and stood silently, gazing at his lips. they were a light rosy shade of pink and looked glossy due to the coat of transparent lip gloss you had applied on them before coming to the party. they looked so soft.

you were shaken out of your thoughts when jungwon flicked your forehead. you gasped and clutched your forehead in pain, “ow, what was that for?” 

jungwon smirked as he pulled you closer by your shoulders. “you seem kind of obsessed with me lately. those looks haven’t gone unnoticed by me you know.”

he raised an eyebrow cockily, “are you sure it’s not me you have a crush on?” 

you sputtered and coughed like a broken car engine at his words. how did he already guess what was going on in your mind?

shrugging his hands off of you, you gave a firm whack to his chest. “h-how can you even say that! i only have eyes for heeseung, you’re nothing compared to him.” 

jungwon snickered and just pulled you into his side, guiding you towards the table full of food you both had been eyeing. he leaned towards your ear and whispered in a low voice.

“i’m pretty sure we were about to do something else back in the game though.” 

your face burned with embarrassment. nothing can save you now, jungwon was in his cheeky mode. he was oozing with confidence and you were blushing as bright as a beet.  

you huffed in annoyance and pushed him away to speed walk towards the table. not bothering to wait for him to catch up, you picked up two humongous cupcakes, ready to stuff your mouth. suddenly, a hand came up to your shoulder making, you almost drop your food in surprise. thinking it was jungwon, you put the ugliest scowl on your face and turned around to face him. 

“what do you-” 

you paused midway through your sentence when you realised who was in front of you. it was a smiling heeseung, who looked smoking hot today. he had adorned a tight fitted black shirt with a grey patterned jacket and his hair was styled to show off his gorgeous forehead. you immediately dropped your scowl and put on your most charming smile. 

“oh hey heeseung !” 

his smile widened at your greeting but all of a sudden, his eyes turned dark when he looked at something behind you. you looked over to see jungwon standing there with two cups in his hand, his expression as cold as ice. they both were practically shooting lasers from their eyes and you could almost feel the heat from it. gulping, you looked away and tried to think of what to say.  

“i have to tell you something important.” you blurted out. heeseung  finally broke his staring contest with jungwon and smiled at you.

“sure, go ahead.” 

okay, this was the perfect time to confess your feelings.

although, for some reason you hesitated before speaking. you could not stop thinking about what happened between you and your best friend today. were you doing the right thing or should you ponder on it more? unfortunately, one raise of heeseung’s eyebrow had you spilling everything out. 

“i have a crush on you.”

is this how it feels like to have a heart attack? because suddenly it felt like you couldn’t breathe anymore and your heart was pounding erratically. maybe it wasn’t a good idea to confess if you felt this scared after it. 

before you could comprehend heeseung’s reaction to your confession, the feeling of something cold and sticky being poured over you made you scream in shock.

your mouth was hung open in shock as you turned around to see who the culprit was. it was the same girl with cherry red hair who had kissed heeseung  on the cheek before. 

“what the fuck was that for?”, you spat in anger. 

she crossed her arms with a stupid smirk painted onto her face. “you were shamelessly flirting with my boyfriend, i obviously had to do something.” you were about to retort but heeseung beat you to it.

“lena we broke up a week ago, can you stop doing things like this! i’m so sick of you.” 

lena just chuckled and shook her head frantically. pushing you out of the way, she walked up to heeseung and cupped his cheeks with her manicured hands.

“no baby, we’re just going through a bad time. we’re still very much in love with each other.” 

letting out a tired sigh, he pushed her hands away from his face. “stop being so delusional,” he looked towards you with an apologetic gaze, “why would you pour your drink over her? she’s like a sister to me. that’s not acceptable..”

ouch.

this was worse than getting friendzoned, he sister zoned you. 

that too right in front of his ex. 

after you confessed your feelings for him.

you tuned out the rest of his words as anger bubbled up inside you. you knew you were not as delusional as the mosquito of a girl in front of you. heeseung had reciprocated your advances sometimes and had even initiated flirting with you. then why would he say all that?

a warm hand clasped around your forearm that was now sticky from the soda that was poured over you. jungwon pulled you towards him gently with a concerned look on his face. 

“are you okay? do you want to leave?”, your face softened at his genuine concern. 

a mischievous glint appeared in your eyes as you decided on what you were going to do. “give me five minutes jungwon, i'm going to make sure someone pays for ruining my dress.”

jungwon’s eyebrows raised as he understood what you were about to do. 

you moved towards lena who was still yapping about how much she loved heeseung, and tapped her shoulder. she pushed her tongue against her cheek when she realised it was you.

“what?”

giving her a condescending smile you motioned towards your outfit that was drenched in the sticky soda. “you’re going to have to pay for the damage you did.” 

lena scoffed in disbelief, “and what makes you think i’ll do that? get lost, don’t waste my time.” 

she waved you off and turned back to heeseung . even though it was against your morals to fight with someone weaker than you, you were not going to be civil with her anymore.

grabbing a fistful of her obnoxious bright red hair, you yanked her towards you making her yelp in pain. turning her around, you repeated yourself.

“are you going to pay or not?” 

she looked at you with a crazed look in her eyes. “of course not you psycho.” she punched you weakly on the jaw making everyone around you gasp in shock. 

“you started this”, shrugging you let go of her hair and punched her smack on the nose, making her stumble backwards. a loud crack resonated throughout the room. lena shrieked in pain as her hands became red from trying to stop her nose from bleeding. one of her fake eyelashes(which was about half the length of your fingers) had fallen onto the floor due to the impact of your punch. 

you pouted mockingly, “i guess you’ll have to get a nose job again.”

wiping away the blood from her face she charged at you with her fist ready to strike, but you easily grabbed her arm making her stagger to stop. you twisted her arm around till it was painfully bent behind her back. she whimpered in pain and tapped on your arm.

“ow please, that hurts.” 

you scoffed, “this is nothing, i can do much worse if i want.” 

she looked up at heeseung  with pleading eyes, “h-heeseung please stop this psychotic bi-” 

you tightened your grip on her arm making her groan out in pain. heeseung paid no heed to her words, in fact he was watching the entire scene play out with an amused look on his face. 

you looked to your left and tilted your head at jungwon, silently asking him what to do next. he was watching you with a proud smile and nodded his head signalling you to do what you wanted. you gave him a thumbs up and returned back to your situation.

you gave her a firm kick to her shin, making her fall on her knees. she raised her free hand in defeat.

“alright i’ll pay you for the drycleaning i promise!” 

you huffed loudly and left her arm causing her to completely collapse on the floor. you nodded towards heeseung with a blank face. “you’re going to leave him alone as well.” 

she squeaked out a yes, handed you a fifty dollar bill and scurried away, probably leaving the party.

everyone else cheered loudly for you for standing up to her. you grinned and jogged over to jungwon and grabbed his hand, “how did i do?” 

his eyes held affection as he looked you over, “awesome.”

that one word of praise cheered you up instantly, much better than any amount of ice cream would have.

you both were just about to leave the driveway of jake’s house when the shout of your name made you both halt. you turned to see none other than heeseung jog towards you with a set of keys in his hands. he held them out to you and looked at you with an unreadable expression.

“i think you dropped your keys behind.” your eyes widened and you grabbed them from him, thanking him in a small voice. 

he stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked you up and down, the action making jungwon’s grip on your hand tighten. “you were really cool back there. i’m glad i got to see you in action.” 

you hummed, not knowing what to say. can he not read the room? it felt so awkward to even look at him anymore. 

he cleared his throat and his confident persona dropped for a minute as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. 

“actually, what i said back there about you being like my sister.” your head shot up at his words. “i didn’t mean any of that.” 

he looked at his feet. “i only said that to get lena off your back, but if i knew you would’ve taken care of it yourself, i never would have done that”, he trailed off in his sentence.

jungwon’s voice cut through the tense atmosphere, making you feel relieved as he questioned what you weren’t able to, “cut to the chase.”

heeseung ignored him and looked directly into your eyes. “well i don’t exactly have feelings for you right now, but i really want to make it up to you. you’re a really cool person,” he stepped closer towards you, “i want to take you out for dinner this sunday.”

you could almost feel the anger radiate off jungwon as he spat out his next words, “did you start finding her cool only because she beat your psycho ex-girlfriend up.” he scoffed, “you don’t owe her a favour, she did what was right.” your shoulders slumped at his words. is that how he actually felt?

heeseung rolled his eyes, “please don’t bring your jealousy into the middle of all this. she can make her own decisions.”

both the boys looked at you intently, waiting for you to make your decision. the urge to crawl in a hole and live there forever was extremely strong right now. you really couldn’t handle the pressure. wanting the best of both worlds, you said the first thing that came up to you.

“i’m okay with the dinner.” 

heeseung ’s face brightened up in victory whilst jungwon dropped his hand from yours in defeat. 

why was he so upset about it now? it’s not like you were going on a date with heeseung, he made it very clear he doesn’t like you. and why were you so adamant on making sure jungwon understood that?

being born as a dolphin would’ve been so much better at this point. at least you wouldn't have to deal with physics and this romance shit.

it was the day of the dinner and you were currently lacing up your doc martens on your front porch. you had decided to wear a black skirt with a white top and a dark brown coat since it was raining today so it was a bit chilly outside, even though it was the middle of summer. you had only just finished wearing your shoes when your phone started ringing, indicating a video call from chaeyeon. 

you furrowed your brows and picked it up, “hello-”

“you absolute moron!” she screamed from the other side making you flinch. 

“what happened? since when did you start insulting me, jungwon was enough-”

“this is about him! how could you be so heartless?”, she cut you off once again. you frowned, what did you do to him? 

“stop making that face, you look like a pug,” she rolled her eyes, “why are you going out with heeseung today?”

oh so that’s what this is about.

you shook your head, “it’s not really a date, he just wanted to take me out to dinner.” 

chaeyeon's lips formed into a thin line at that. “you mean my brother, who’s basically a casanova, is taking you out to a casual dinner?” she shook her head disapprovingly, “i didn’t think you could be so clueless."

you squinted at her in confusion, “just tell me what you want to. don’t beat around the bush. there’s no time for that, he’ll be here any moment.”

pinching her nose in frustration, she let out a deep breath. “jungwon told me the full story of what happened at the party since someone else forgot to.” you gave her a guilty smile at that. chaeyeon caught a horrible flu a few days ago, so you didn’t really get the time to update her on all this.

“he likes you a lot. he’s been hopelessly in love with you since the past five years.” 

your jaw hung open at that. there’s no way your suspicions were right. jungwon actually liked you? you felt gooey and warm like a freshly baked brownie right now. you could feel the heat spread through your entire body at the idea of jungwon liking you, something which you noticed was opposite of what you felt when you were around heeseung.

“close your mouth, i can see your internal organs.” you really wanted to slap her right now because her sarcastic commentary really wasn't helping you with the whirlwind of emotions you were going through. 

you let out a deep sigh, “i really don’t know chaeyeon. i feel so happy and excited at the thought of that? but also kind of scared. he’s my best friend, you know, i don’t want to mess things up.” 

she shook her head at you with pity, “it’s too late for that, you already did.”

“what do you mean?”

“are you kidding me?”, she scoffed. “jungwon is competing in the interstate taekwondo championship today!” 

you stood up from your seat in horror, “what! why didn’t you tell me before?” 

she wiped her runny nose into her tissue and glared at you, “you’re his closest friend, i didn’t think you would forget something so important.” she sighed, “i can’t attend the fight because of my cold, but you should.” 

the honk of a car horn made you look in front to see heeseung waving at you. you mirrored his actions and looked back into your phone. “there’s still time till the fight right?”

she nodded, “kinda, it starts in thirty minutes.” 

muttering a ‘shit’, you thanked her for giving you a reality check. she only nodded and coughed into her tissue once again, “it’s up to you to pick between your amazing and sincere best friend or my brother who’s probably only interested in you for your fighting skills.”

nodding solemnly, you cut the call and stuffed your phone into your side bag. by then, heeseung had walked up to your doorstep with an umbrella in his hand. 

“are you ready to go?”

your hands were sat on your lap as you watched the rain fall outside of the car window. you were sitting in a rather rigid manner on your seat as you listened to heeseung blabber about some olympiads he had won medals for. you felt bad because you weren’t paying any attention to what he was saying. you couldn't get jungwon off of your mind. 

the warmth he made you feel everytime he smiled and when the dimples on his cheeks showed. the way your heart fluttered when you watched him execute taekwondo moves with perfection and the way his face lit up with joy each time he was successful. the butterflies that swarmed your stomach every time you hugged him or held his hand. all of this, you had been brushing them away for so long thinking that this was a normal thing for friends. there was no way you could be more than that. but now realisation seemed to dawn upon you; you had been in love with him all along, perhaps even longer than he has been. 

looking next to you, you observed heeseung. he still made you feel nervous and excited, but you realised that this was a different kind of feeling. the kind you feel when you receive updates from your favourite celebrity. it was nothing more than a schoolgirl crush, the one where he was just good eye candy to admire. he didn’t make you feel the comfort and love you felt with jungwon. and you didn’t feel the same way about him either.

you have to see jungwon, right now.

shuffling through your bag for your phone, you frantically checked the time. you still had fifteen more minutes to go before his match started.

“heeseung can you please take me to x stadium instead? i’m so sorry, but i can’t have dinner with you today, i have to go.”

heeseung frowned, “what happened all of a sudden? is it that urgent?”

“yes it is, please turn the car around.”

he nodded, still confused. he was about to question you but stopped when he saw you hold up your phone to your ear, trying to call jungwon so you could tell him you were coming to his match. he received missed calls after missed calls from you, but he didn’t pick up any. his phone was probably with the coach.

soon, heeseung stopped the car at a red light right across the stadium. you asked him to unlock the car door and thanked him for the ride. 

his eyes widened, “are you going to walk in the rain? it’ll just take me five more minutes to make a u-turn.” 

you shook your head, “there’s no time for that, i’ll miss jungwon-”

“you’re going to see jungwon?”

“yes, i’m sorry for leaving you like this but i can’t miss out on his match. i forgot about it till today,” you sighed, “i also need to tell him something.” 

you breathed out in frustration when heeseung just stared at you blankly, not complying to your request. reaching over him you turned off the door locks. you had just stepped one leg out when he stopped you by grabbing your wrist. 

“i thought you liked me.”

you looked at him with surprise. what is he playing at? judging by the pissed off expression on his face you could conclude that he was jealous because you were ditching him for his rival. 

you gave him a small smile, “i was wrong.” 

slamming the car door shut, you dashed off into the rain and crossed the road towards the stadium entrance. you always found the main leads in movies crazy to be running in the heavy rain towards their lover, but you finally understood their situation today. a stupid smile was graced upon your features and you couldn’t wait to tell jungwon everything you felt about him.

upon entering the stadium, you immediately ran towards the direction of the changing rooms and were met with your coach standing in front of it. his eyes widened momentarily upon seeing you all soaked.

“y/n you’re here? what hap-”

“is jungwon inside?”, desperation laced your voice as you questioned him. he nodded, “yes, but he has to be out soon-”

you cut him off once again by thanking him and entered the room behind him. the slam of a door being shut, startled the man standing in front of you, making him drop the water bottle he was holding. he faced you with eyes as wide as saucers, clearly not expecting to see you here.

“you came? but what about your dinner?” 

you paced towards him and smacked his shoulder, “screw that, why didn’t you remind me of your match even if i forgot?” 

he winced as you whacked him once again, “you know this is equally important to me as much as it is to you!”

he caught your hand when you were going to hit him again. “i didn’t want to disturb your date, i know how badly you want to be with him.” 

he tried to mask the hurt on his face by putting on a small smile, but you could see it in his eyes. “this is just one match, i would have told you the results anyways, you didn’t have to-”

you cut him off by grabbing the collar of his white uniform and smashing your lips onto his. jungwon froze for a few seconds but then slowly closed his eyes and cupped your face as he kissed you back. he tilted his head to deepen the kiss and moved his lips with more fervour. the kiss soon turned messy and heated as you both let out your years of pent up feeling you couldn’t say. his lips were cushiony soft and tasted like vanilla and peppermint. your brain felt like it turned to mush as you moved your lips against his addictive ones. damn, if you knew he was such a good kisser, you would’ve asked him out yourself long ago.

your knees were about to give out from the intensity of the kiss, so he wrapped one of his hands around your waist and pulled you flush against him. when you felt like you couldn’t breathe anymore you pushed him by his chest away slightly, but he only chased your lips for more, muffling the squeal that came out from you with his lips. he pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth, then your nose, your cheeks and continued to pepper kisses all over your face, making you giggle in glee. he pulled away and held your face as if you were the most precious gem in the world. you felt your cheeks heat up as you looked at his lips which were swollen and glossy from kissing. 

“i like you so so much y/n”, his cheeks bunched up and his eyes crinkle at the corners from smiling so happily. 

you kissed the dimple that appeared on his cheek and grinned at him.

“i like you a lot, too pretty boy.”

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen oneshots #enhypen fics #enhypen fic #enhypen x reader #jungwon #yang jungwon #jungwon x reader #jungwon imagines #jungwon fics #jungwon oneshots #heeseung #lee heeseung #heeseung x reader #heeseung imagines #heeseung fics #heeseung oneshots #Kpop fucs #ady_writes

[blackswaneuroparedux]

So recently I was listening to one of my favourite podcasts while on a business trip by train through the Swiss Alps to Zurich. 'The Rest Is History' hosted historians Dominic Sandbrook and Tom Holland were quite topical talking about France under de Gaulle and the student riots of 1968 as well as its legacy towards France’s current troubles with civil disorder.

The recent riots starting in Nanterre and beyond were troubling and significant. However outsiders not knowing the French or their culture and history thought it was either the fall of the Fifth Republic or start of the collapse of Western civilisation itself. It was nothing of the sort. For the most part the French think it healthy to blow off steam and have a jolly good riot in the same way people in England blow off steam by writing an angry letter to the editor of the Times. It’s just how things are. As predicted, things have gotten quiet now.

In their podcast Sandbrook and Holland cheekily suggested that the fizzling out of les evénéments – the student protests of 1968, during which it seemed that another of France’s periodic revolutions might ignite - had something to do with the Whitsun holidays. Realising that their Parisian parents were setting off for their holiday homes in the French countryside or the southern coast, the elitist student leaders put down their high minded revolutionary leftist philosophical slogans aside for the bourgeois comfort of vacances en famille. There is a lot of truth to that.

All this is to say les grandes vacancies have already begun in France. The grand vacation of July and August is an entrenched tradition in the French psyche. So ingrained is this tradition that until 2015 there were regulations still in place dating back to the French revolution that governed when bakers in Paris could take their holidays, so as not to deprive the city’s populace of their daily bread (not quite baguette, because that was invented later by the Austrians camped out in the Champs de Mars after the fall of Napoleon - but that’s another story).  

That France is in the middle of les grandes vacances can be seen here in Paris. Parisians are leaving their apartments and heading out to the countryside or down south to the Med - to be offfeeling handedly rude and entitled towards the locals. Schools have been closed since June. Many shops are closed or not nearly as crowded as usual, most of the people wandering the streets have cameras around their necks. Of course not everyone goes and those that stay can feel freer until the first glut of tourists arrive.

For many France in August is definitely their favourite time of the year. And every summer I’m reminded just how much French language and culture are inseparable by the fact that there are words for people who take their annual vacation in July, les juillettistes, or in August, les aoûtiens.

Most French people have 5 weeks of paid vacation per year, and some have even more time off with the inclusion of their RTTs (essentially, personal days) for those who work more than 35 hours per week. I work close to 80 hours a week, so I'm ready for my break from the corporate treadmill.

So my blog will be shut down for the rest of the summer as I go away on vacation. I’ll be back in early September.

I use this time to switch off my phone and strictly no social media as I go off grid. It's a question of valuing one's mental health. I hope you can do the same.

Thank you for following my blog and appreciating my eclectic posts.

I wish you all the best.

Have a great summer!

#les grandes vacances #summer holidays #france #on holiday #back in sept #personal

[lam-ila]

Treat You Better || Quinn Hughes

This is part of @jostystyles​'s 2.6k top tracks writing challenge!

Summary: Four times Quinn thought he could treat you better than your best friend and one time he did aka four times Quinn was like 😤 and one time Quinn was like 🤬

Word Count: 2,712

Warnings: a bit more language than i usually use and a couple arguments (please let me know if you find more that i should add)

Maleeha’s Masterlist

a/n: i don't hate jack, this is just what @2manytabsopen and i came up with and it makes him look like a bad friend, so i'm sorry to everyone who loves jack. on that note, as always, thank you kesh for helping me with this fic

i apologize for this taking so long. i realize i’m well past the deadline but uni life be like that sometimes

this is gender neutral. hope you enjoy this! feedback is appreciated

LIKES ARE GREAT, REBLOGS ARE BETTER ♡

In early August of the summer after your high school graduation, your boyfriend broke up with you on your two year anniversary after admitting that he loved someone he met on vacation. You were devastated, especially since he broke up with you on your anniversary. After kicking your now ex-boyfriend out of your house, you texted Jack, your best friend since middle school, to tell him you were broken up with and he invited you over.

You knocked on the door to where Jack was with tears stained on your face. Jack opened the door and let you in, extending his arms out to invite you for a hug which you gladly accepted. You two sat down and you explained everything that happened as Jack comforted you. After you explained everything, Jack spoke up to address his thoughts.

"Y/N, I hate to say it, but he was always a douche." He said.

"What do you mean?" You questioned. "I thought you liked him."

"Well, I wouldn't necessarily say I liked him.”

“What do you mean?” You asked again.

“He always checked out other people and flirted with a lot of people and-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" You cut him off.

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"Really Jack?" You looked at him in disbelief. "I'm not in middle school, if you had told me, my feelings wouldn't have been hurt." Quinn walked into the room you and Jack were in after hearing you two bicker back and forth.

"What's going on?" Quinn asked you with concern after seeing you angrily looking at Jack.

"Jack never told me the person I've been dating for the past two years was checking other people out and flirting with them!"

"You never told them?" Quinn accusingly asked Jack.

"You knew too?" You looked at Quinn with disbelief.

"I wanted to tell you, but Jack told me not to because he said that he should be the one to tell you." You glared at Jack, the anger you were feeling towards him shadowing the anger you felt towards your ex-boyfriend.

"I don't believe you." You got up, collecting the things you brought with you and putting on your shoes before opening the door to leave. Jack quickly stood up and chased after you.

"Y/N wait!" You stopped in your tracks and turned around to face him. "Let me explain."

"No Jack, no!" He studied your facial expression as you were figuring out what to say. "Grow up." You turned back around and left to go home. Jack stared at you leaving, mentally kicking himself for what just occurred. He turned his head to look at his older brother, wondering what to do.

"You should've told them." Quinn expressed before leaving Jack to his thoughts.

—————

About a month after the breakup, you reconnected with someone you met at the beginning of high school. The last time you talked was in grade ten, but he randomly reached out to you through Instagram and you had been talking every day since then. 

A few weeks after you two started talking, he asked you out on a date to a local restaurant. You were excited, but still stayed cautious. You hadn’t seen each other in years, which you didn’t mind, but you had only been talking to each other over Instagram DMs - a red flag right there. You talked to Jack about your concern and had agreed that if things went South, Jack would pick you up no matter what.

You got ready, not looking too casual but also not looking too fancy, and made your way to the restaurant. You arrived on time and got a table for two. You waited five minutes, then it turned into ten minutes, then turned into twenty minutes, then thirty. Throughout the thirty minutes, you kept DMing and Instagram audio calling him, but you received no response from your ‘date’, so you texted Jack so that you could get picked up. You waited five minutes, then it turned into ten minutes, then turned into twenty minutes, then thirty. Throughout the thirty minutes, you kept texting and calling Jack, but you received no response from him. 

You decided to leave since both your ‘date’ and Jack weren’t showing up. After a twenty minute walk, you were knocking on the front door of the Hughes house, angry as ever.

“Hi Y/N!” Jack happily said before realization hit him. “Oh shit I’m so sorry.”

“You haven’t looked at your phone for the last fifty minutes?” You accused, staring him down.

“I’m so so sorry, I got distracted and I know that’s no excuse but-”

“Oh hi Y/N! I didn’t realize your date ended already.” Luke unintentionally cut Jack off after walking into the room.

“Hi Luke and no, it didn’t end early because it never started.” You corrected, still glaring at Jack.

“Wait so how did you get here?”

“I walked.”

“You what?” Quinn interjected.

“It’s fine Quinn.”

“No, it’s not. Jack promised that he’d pick you up and he didn’t.” He turned his head to address Jack. “You brushed it off every time I brought up checking on Y/N. You should’ve at least checked your phone for a text or call.” Jack wasn’t sure what to say and only stared in shock at his older brother. “Check your phone Jack, check it.” Jack retrieved his phone, unlocking it, only to for him and Quinn to see the multiple missed texts and calls from you. “Exactly. If you had just checked your phone, Y/N wouldn’t have had to walk all the way-”

“Quinn it’s okay.” You cut him off to ensure the conversation didn’t accelerate even further.

“No, it’s not!” Quinn repeated, getting more frustrated with his brother who you called your best friend. “Jack should’ve-”

“Quinton!” You used his full first name to get his full attention. “Drop it, it’s okay.” You looked at all three Hughes brothers, realizing you ruined their time together. “I’m going home.”

“Let me drive you.”

Knowing you couldn’t argue with Quinn, you simply replied “Okay.”

—————

Ever since Jack started playing for the Devils, you and him always hung out together the weekend before he leaves for training camp. It’s what you always looked forward to before the difficult time of saying goodbye.

Since Jack started to become more of a veteran player than a rookie, he was wrapped up in his work as an NHL player and you began to feel a slight rip between your friendship with Jack. You found yourself spending more and more time talking to Quinn instead of Jack. Needless to say, you were ecstatic that you could finally spend time alone with Jack.

You and Jack planned everything out: Jack would go to your place, and you two would act like children and build a blanket fort to lay in while watching Disney movies. All was going well, you pulled out all of your blankets and had Disney + open on your tv, and Jack was due to be at your place in about ten minutes. A few minutes passed by and you got a text. You started to get excited, thinking that it was Jack telling you he was waiting for you to let him in however, it was Jack badly apologizing that things came up and he couldn’t hangout.

You were hurt, Jack knew you were looking forward to hanging out with you and he changed his plans at the last minute. Instead of wallowing in self pity by yourself, you decided to wrap yourself in a blanket, and wallow in self pity with a bowl of popcorn and a Disney movie playing. You chose to watch The Princess and the Frog since the songs always seemed to cheer you up.

Throughout the movie, you were snapchatting a few of your friends, one of them being Quinn. After “Friends On the Other Side”, Quinn snapped you back with the caption of “isn’t jack with you? what are you doing snapping me?” You answered with a picture of the movie and a short caption that read “he bailed”. You smiled at his response: a picture of him pouting in sadness and text that read “i’m sorry love”. It was a simple response, but it made you happy in the otherwise shitty day you were having.

—————

Your birthday arrived with you and Jack not being able to see each other. Jack had practice until the evening, except for a lunch break, but you had planned to meet up with your other friends for lunch and go to a restaurant with your family for dinner. You didn’t mind not being able to see Jack, it wasn’t his fault that he had practice and it wasn’t your fault for being busy when Jack wasn’t.

The first text you received on the morning of your birthday was from Quinn. It was a simple text that read ‘happy birthday <33’ and it made you extremely happy. You weren’t sure why, but seeing that Quinn texted you first was arguably the highlight of your day.

You checked your phone after eating breakfast noticing that Jack still didn’t text you or post on Instagram to acknowledge your birthday. You attempted to convince yourself that it was fine since he had practice, but so did Quinn.

Lunch came and you had a great time with some of your friends. They all chipped in to pay for food so that you didn’t have to pay at all which was super sweet of them. You kept checking your phone for a text from Jack throughout lunch, but you still didn’t receive anything.

You went along with your day and had dinner with your family at your favourite restaurant. You had a good time, but your mind was focused on if Jack would text you. Dinner ended, you got back to your home, and you still had no text from Jack. Now, you were full-on upset. The day had come and gone, and you didn’t receive any indication that Jack, you best friend, remembered your birthday.

Instead of letting your anger pent up inside of you, you collapsed on your bed and called the one person you could think of at that moment: Quinn. He immediately picked up and you explained your frustration.

“I’m so sorry. That really sucks.” Quinn voiced after you ranted.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.” You reassured.

“I know, I just wish-” Quinn cut himself off with a sigh. “I just wish Jack would treat you better.”

“Do you know anyone who could treat me better?” Shit, why did you say that. Were you flirting with him? Your worry quickly faded when you heard Quinn chuckling softly on the other end of the call.

“I know this guy who plays for the Vancouver Canucks who could treat you better. I’m pretty sure he’s number 43.” Now it was your turn to softly chuckle.

“Tell him that I would very much appreciate that.”

“I’ll be sure to let him know.”

“Thank you. For making sure that you’ll let him know,” you teased. “as well as for being the best part of my day.”

“It’s nothing.” He waved it off. “I just want to make sure you’re happy.”

“I am.” You assured with a smile. “Well, mostly. I would be happier if I got a text or call from Jack, but you’ve made me happy.” You sat in a short, comfortable silence before adding “I miss you, like a lot.”

“I miss you too.”

“When’s the next time we see each other?”

“I’m not sure.” Quinn sadly answered. “I can always fly you over to see a Canucks game.”

“I might take you up on that offer.” You expressed before tiredly yawning.

“Go to sleep, I know you’re exhausted.”

“But I want to talk more.” You protested.

“We can always talk tomorrow.” He reasoned.

“Alright, goodnight.”

“Goodnight love.”

—————

You were home for winter break and somehow all three Hughes brothers also were on the third weekend of December. The Hughes brothers decided to take their break from playing hockey by... going ice skating with you. Not exactly a break, but you took whatever was given to you.

You’ve skated with Quinn, Jack, and Luke multiple times and you enjoyed it every time, so you were beyond excited, although you were nervous that Jack would somehow bail on you and his brothers. You all had bought four tickets for your local ice rink's one hour free skate and you were convinced that since money had been spent, Jack wouldn't change his plans at the last minute. To your delight, the day of the free skate arrived with the three brothers in a car waiting for you outside of your place.

Once you got to the car, Quinn got out of the driver's seat and gave you a quick hug to say 'hi'. He opened the trunk and you added your skates to the pile of three pairs of skates already there. The car ride to the ice rink was the most fun you've had with the Hughes brothers in a long time. You sat in the back with Luke as the four of you screamed the lyrics to all of your favourite songs.

You were having the best time skating with your friends until you got knocked down by a kid. The kid who knocked you down recognized the Hughes brothers and decided to try to show off his speed to them. In the process of trying to show off, he tripped over himself and crashed right into you. You lost your balance and fell, hitting your head on the side board.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Quinn asked, immediately skating to be by your side. You looked towards Jack and Luke, seeing both of them laughing at the kid and helping him up.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You expressed, eyes glued to Jack.

"You okay bud?" Jack asked the kid. You couldn't hear what he responded with, but saw him nodding his head. "You sure? You didn't hit your head on the ice or side boards did you?"

"No, I'm good." The kid assured. "Can I get a picture with you?"

"Of course!" The kid skated off, presumably to grab whoever he was with. Jack finally looked at you on sitting on the ice, using your hand as a shield from the lights which suddenly seemed much brighter than before.

"I'm gonna take Y/N off the ice." Quinn explained to Jack and Luke. "I think they might have a concussion."

"I'll be there soon. I have to take a picture with that kid." Quinn let out a frustrated sign, upset at Jack for not asking if you're okay and for how he had been treating you in the past.

"Fine just," He let out another frustrated sigh. "just come as soon as you can." Jack skated off to find the kid with Luke staying behind. "Luke, go with him. Make sure that he actually joins us." Quinn helped you up and off of the ice, sitting you down on one of the benches. He looked at you, clearly not feeling okay. "Look at me, I have to look at your pupils to see if they're dilated."

“I'm fine Quinn.” You tried to convince him before wincing in pain.

“Yeah, that's bullshit.” He gently cupped your cheek, forcing you to look at him. You made eye contact with him, allowing him to do as he said. He look into your eyes, seemingly getting lost in thought.

"Quinn?" You gained his attention. "Is everything okay?"

"Your pupils are dilated." Quinn explained. "I don't know enough about concussions to test anything else, so we should get you to an urgent care."

"That's not what I meant." You claimed. "You've been acting a bit off."

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Quinn, I know you. Something's on your mind."

He looked down, then back at you and hesitantly said "Like I said on your birthday, I wish Jack would treat you better."

"Why don't you text number 43 of the Vancouver Canucks and tell him I want him to treat me better?” You teased.

Quinn chuckled at your response and placed a soft kiss to your forehead before saying "I think he already knows."

——————————

NHL taglist: @readyfreddy @jostystyles @whimsical-daydreams @typical-simplelove @2manytabsopen @11livpangburn @jamiedryssdale

join my taglist here

#maleeha writes #quinn hughes #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes fanfiction #quinn hughes fic

[k-s-morgan]

So, the first month of the year has passed! For Ukraine, it brought multiple bombings and some large-scale tragedies. On January 14, Saturday afternoon, a holiday when most people are at home, one of the Ruzzian missiles hit an apartment complex in Dnipro city. About 50 people died; even more were hospitalized. Many pets died as well, with only some of them being rescued. There are videos with people screaming under the ruins; videos of rescue and devastating findings. And this is just one building in one city. 

Cities like Kharkiv and Zaporizhia; destroyed cities like Mariupol and Severodonetsk - this same tragedy happened there repeatedly. Just like in other cities of Ukraine, including my own. People lose everything, and over what? No one can give a satisfying answer because there isn't any. This war takes the descriptor "senseless" to a new level.  

This is why every air raid makes my blood go cold. All you have left to do is sit there, listen for explosions, and hope that your own home won't become your grave.  

Good things happened, too: Ukraine got great help from other countries. For myself, I reunited with my father: we spent some lovely days together. And despite Ruzzians' attempts to ruin our January holidays, my family spent them happily - as much as it’s possible in times like these.

I caught a new pigeon back on New Year: she's feeling better now, so here's a pic. (She’s also shy, so it’s difficult to take a good picture of her!)

As you see, the poor baby has a split beak, which complicates her ability to eat; one of her legs wasn't working and she had pneumonia. Fortunately, the latter two issues are half-gone! The meds are helping and she's feeling much better now. I hope she makes full recovery. 

As I will always do it, I want to thank every person who keeps supporting me. Through comments, asks, Patreon, messages - it's all so valuable to me and I'm really grateful. This inspired my writing by a lot, so I managed to write more this year.

Patreon in particular helped me get an idea: for the first time since the war started, I decided to make a long-term plan. I want to have 2 weeks of vacation with my Mom this summer - to spend them outside of Ukraine, in a safe country where I wouldn't have to worry all the time. I really, really need to rest mentally and physically, but even more, I found that having a plan like this, for a distant future, helps a lot emotionally. My city is currently safe from active war actions, air raids are the biggest threat, but the fear is always there anyway, along with the thoughts about death. So having a date for my vacation in mind, the city I'd like to visit, the show I'll re-watch with my Mom when we get there - this makes me feel like my future is less vague and like I have something solid to look forward to. I'm very excited about this plan and I hope I'll be able to realize it!

Thank you all for being here again. And here's a pic of two of my idiot boys, Laoriy and Tom, to end this post on the loveliest possible note)     

#personal #ukraine #dnipro #kyiv #russia is a terrorist state

[tvreadsandsleep]

» Regular People AU || Attoye Prompt Drabbles || Master List « » Also a high school AU. «

Attuma wanted something. Okoye could tell, immediately, from the way he’d traipsed up to her favorite table in the library, all long limbed and awkward with that goofy smile of his putting his dimples on full display. She turned away from that grin, burying her head in the textbook she’d been reading before his noisy entrance had distracted her.

He’d had a growth spurt over the summer, and, clearly, hadn’t yet gotten used to the extra inches that had been added (and seemed to keep accumulating) to his frame. She wasn’t accustomed to them either, a flush forming on her face and sometimes—okay, most times—feeling butterflies in her stomach whenever he, and his changing body, were in her presence. Like now, with him looming over her workspace.

She recalled how unnerved she’d felt when they’d first reunited toward the end of their summer break. They’d met to exchange stories of their family vacations and compare their school schedules for the upcoming semester. Instead of looking straight into his ebony eyes, their height once of equal proportions, she’d had to tilt her head back to look up into his, no longer quite as boyish looking, face. It was then the jittering in her stomach had started, the muscles cramping as her mouth had opened and closed, wordlessly.

“I know, right? It feels like I grew two feet overnight,” he’d gushed, voice pitched much lower than she’d remembered.

‘Who is this man-shaped person, and what has he done with my friend?!’ She’d posed the question, silently, in her head before pulling herself together.

Punching him in the shoulder, in an attempt to dispel her discomfort, she’d laughed.

“I guess your brothers can’t call you shrimp anymore.”

“Yup, Aapo is so upset that I’m as tall as him now,” Attuma had gone on talking, hands gesturing as he’d enthusiastically spoke about his family’s month-long beach getaway.

Okoye had only half listened, making sounds of interest when appropriate. Really, she’d been observing him, watching to ensure that the boy she’d known so well, having lived next door to one another since infancy, was still there.

She was finding that, though his body was maturing, his habits and personality had remained the same. They were two months into the semester, and, like always, he spent more time, in each class, passing notes and joking around, with his other friends, then he did paying attention to their teachers.

“What do you want, Attuma?” She inquired, annoyed with his leaning over her table. The sleeves of his uniform were rolled up, flashing her the forearms that had begun filling out with his increased time in the weight room. She groaned internally, mentally slapping herself to keep from checking out her best friend.

“Okoye, my bestest friend in the world and the prettiest girl to walk these hallowed halls—”

Groaning, this time aloud, she rolled her eyes and pushed her chair back from the table, cutting off his attempt to butter her up.

“Bestest isn’t a word,” she informed as she turned her body to face his. “Just ask your favor. My free period will be over soon, and I have to finish reading this.”

“Okay, okay.” Straightening up his posture, he clasped his hands in front of his chest. “Please, pretty please, let me copy your homework for AP Biology. I was gonna do it, but the guys wanted to go out after soccer practice and then I was too tired to get it done,” he begged, his words rushing out.

Okoye glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Please, Okoye! Ms. Udaku threatened to talk to Coach M’Baku about not letting me play in the next game, if I missed another assignment. Please!”

This caused her to soften to his plight. Attuma loved soccer, the game a passion shared by everyone in his household. She knew that he even dreamed of one day playing professionally. Though, she wished he would take his schoolwork more seriously, it would pain her to see him miss out on his favorite activity, even for just one match.

He must have taken note of her crumbling resolve because the earnest expression that had blanketed his face, during his begging, broke into a broad smile—Okoye, again, graced by his dimples.

“Please,” he sang, having the nerve to fall to his knees before her. His hands hooked onto her arms, still crossed along her chest, and he shook her gently while smiling even wider.

How that was possible, she wasn’t sure, but the indents on either side of his cheeks had deepened—crater-like and apparently dug by God to hold her backbone and pride since she could never deny him when they made their appearance.

“Get off me, and stop making that face!” She demanded. Her outburst drew the ire of the librarian, who shushed in their direction.

Okoye nodded her head in apology, mouthing the words at the woman before returning her attention to Attuma. He’d stood, also giving the strict school employee a contrite look. He then settled across from her, at the table, retaking his enthused expression: his lips upcurved with an expectant look in his eyes.

“You know I can’t resist when you smile like that,” she muttered. Frowning, she reached into her backpack. Assignment in hand, she continued speaking, voice now clear, “Don’t ask me again. I’m not going to let you copy off me anymore.”

They both knew that wasn’t true, but Okoye bluffed, putting on a semblance of control.

#okoye x attuma #attuma x okoye #attoye #okoye #attuma #black panther wakanda forever #mywriting #attoyedailyprompt #regularattoye #THIS MAKES 30!!

[bomberqueen17]

warmth & fashion

so here’s the problem, we’re coming down to the wire on this vacation we’re going on-- we’re leaving for Cartagena, Colombia early next week-- and I’m trying to mentally pack my suitcase, and-- I mean I’ve had some things set aside for over a month now, i’ve been preparing for a while-- but my real problem is that

this is sort of hilarious and embarrassing

i cannot remember for the life of me what it is like to be somewhere that the outdoors is warmer than room temperature. like i keep planning out outfits and i’m like “camisole and leggings for warmth, then-- wait” “I know I’ll need to dress warmer for travel than the destination but if I wear my leather jacket then I’ll have it for the evenings-- wait” and I know, intellectually I know, I live in a place where for part of the year, it is warmer than the ideal room temperature outdoors. I know this! I can leave my house in July and not bring a coat for later! i can wear a dress without an undershirt and leggings! these are things I do!

but I can’t remember how, and it’s really hilarious to me that my memory is so shit I can’t even remember what I wear when it’s July here.

I know enough that I made a bunch of linen and cotton dresses to bring, but I keep mentally accessorizing them with scarves and legwarmers and layered shirts and shit. *NO*.

Anyway, it’s kind of a hilarious problem to have but it is also a problem, I genuinely do not know what clothing I’m going to bring. i’m going to wind up filling my suitcase with leggings and socks I won’t want to wear once I’m there. Like, genuinely, I cannot conceptualize of a place where it is 85F.

Meanwhile, I also dug out my giant sun hat-- I have to figure out a way to bring it, it’s too great not to have-- and it’s sadly undecorated and I have become quietly obsessed with the notion of making fabric flowers to decorate it, in the like, thirty seconds I have left during which I need to be finishing the linen Rockwell dress. Last night I did manage to finish weaving the second waistband for it (I mentioned that i was inkle looming that, right? and that to accommodate my majestic girth I was going to have to make two waistbands and join them in the center front? anyway i finished the second one last night), and I also managed to finish hemming the maroon linen Honeybourne dress so I’m wearing that today and realizing that my hack of adding width to the bodice to avoid a zipper accidentally added width/depth to the neckline so it is wider and lower cut than I like, oh well that’s fine for summer right??? i don’t know!! because i don’t remember summer!! but anyway. i have it done.

The Rockwell, I put in the bust gathers, so now I just have to sew those down to a length of twill tape on the inside, and then I’m figuring out how to attach the belt on the outside so it’s removable for washing-- I might put a buttonhole where I join the two sides of the waistband, and then attach a button to the dress?? Enticing concept. I could then switch out waistbands for a whole different look to the dress!

The other thing that’s been exciting is like, for once in my life accessorizing-- that black and white slip dress matches a pair of great earrings I own, and the rainbow waistband for the Rockwell matches a pair of rainbow tassel earrings I own, and I just like, sometimes get excited about the concept of fashion, we’ll see how I do with this.

One time I camped with a girl who did Lolita fashion cons, and we weren’t doing that but she had all these beautifully-accessorized outfits and I was like “how??” and she was like “gallon ziploc full of accessories, packed separately with each outfit, never fail” and i have never achieved that but i’m gonna try. For the lakehouse weekend this winter I did pack each outfit rolled around its layers/accessories (including the compatible bra with each neckline) and that worked a treat, so. Might try it for this.

#B sews things #about the author #real life #travel #climate zones #idk #memory problems

[hournites]

Art Room Kiss

"Where are you taking me?"

Beth shushes him with a giggle for the fifth time, navigating through the lunch crowd on the last day before summer vacation.

He's not scowling, so that's a good sign. Beth tugs on his hand, urging him to stop complaining and follow her lead. It thrills Beth that he' entertains this in the first place; eyes closed, willingly letting himself stumble awkwardly through the school simply because Beth told him to after minimal coaxing and the insistence of a surprise.

It’s not that she can’t believe that he actually trusts her, but she can’t believe he actually trusts her. She tries not to focus on the fact he’s holding her hand. She likes the way he holds onto her, and yes, it’s absolutely because he can’t see, so he needs to hang tight, but the way he’s doing it, the way she looks back and sees the faint smile, she knows he wants to. Which is why she’s doing this.

“Okay,” she says. She grabs his other hand, just because. Now both are hers, fingers interlocked between them. She gives them a squeeze and tells him to open his eyes.

They’re just in the art room. It’s a class that’s secluded from the rest of the regular traffic, only a few kids pass by and there’s a wood workshop past the chipped paint double doors around the corner. His brow quirks, not quite certain what to say. She’s not here to show him art. It’s private here, distinct and quiet, thick with the smell of dried acrylic paint.

“I have good reason to bring you here,” she promises before he can say otherwise. "I hope, at least."

“Go on.”

This class has slanted easels with stools rather than the regular desks with chairs. She nods her head at one, and he follows. One of the windows is still open and the June breeze lifts through the flutter sleeves of her linen summer dress. “I want you to sit on the stool there.”

He lets out a sigh but listens, grabbing a stool easily, and sliding it out to sit on in some smooth maneuver. “Yes?”

Beth timidly steps forward, her confidence faltering. The mental checklist is completed.

Get Rick to agree.

Bring him to the art room.

Guarantee privacy.

Bring in the chair.

Kiss him.

His eyes are trained on her face, waiting for whatever explanation she has.

“Hear me out,” she says, rushing through the words. “This year was way crazier than last year, or the year before.”

“Mmhm.”

“Right, so with everything going on, meeting Todd and Sandy, school and the JSA, one thing became super clear to me. You’re my best friend. The greatest I've ever had.”

“Not Chuck? You can say it was Chuck. I won't be offended."

Beth shakes her head. “Nope. Not Chuck. You.”

“Well, that’s sweet. And same, I guess.”

“-Which is why I think our friendship should come to an end,” Beth interrupts abruptly.

Rick visibly balks. “I’m sorry?”

Beth takes another step forward, playing with her hands. “I like you, Rick. And I have the feeling -a really strong feeling- that you like me too. So I’m here to ask if you want to quit just being friends, so we could be something more?” She drops her hands to her sides, trying not to let her heart beat too fast. But no matter what comes out of this moment, she doesn’t regret saying this. She knows. She knows in her gut this is what she wants to do.

"You're telling me that you like me?" Rick repeats. 

Beth nods. "Yes, very much."

“Oh my god, you had me worried for nothing.” His face softens so quickly and relief cuts through Beth to her bones.

"Does that mean...you want to be with me?" 

Rick chuckles like he can't believe it's even a question. “Of course, I want to be with you.”

She shrugs. “I just felt like it was time, you know? To talk about it.”

Rick tugs her closer from his seat on the stool, hands at the waist of her dress. They’re almost at eye level with each other now. His thumb strokes her side and it’s so natural.

Like he’d always wanted to do that.

“I’m glad you did.” His forehead knocks gently against her own, a wide grin betraying his typically stoic look in this building. “I wasn’t sure if I was ever gonna tell you.”

“What?" Her breath hitches. "Why not?”

“Because the longer I think about the way you make me feel the more it turns me into a nervous wreck.”

“Oh. I’m sorry?”

"I'm not. You are braver than me." He shakes his head. “Not that I'm surprised." He considers where they are and a slow smirk grows on his face. "You brought me here because you wanted to kiss me without breaking your neck, didn’t you?”

"I plead the fifth." Beth huffs, giving into a wry grin, but his lips are on hers before she can finish the end of her smile.

#hournite #rick x beth #stargirl #hn fic #tkv fic #fluff

[blackswaneuroparedux]

mariannengraben asked :Are you all right? Or still on vacation? Missing your posts.

I received many concerned messages like yours after I stopped posting for about 5 months. I was quite touched by the well meaning words my followers posted. I appreciated the many kind and thoughtful messages.

Yes, I am fine. Thank you for asking. It feels like I have been on vacation, from Tumblr at least, but my life off grid has been anything but. I feel almost embarrassed to say that I have nothing particularly exciting to report about my absence from Tumblr.

You are are in corporate finance and so I imagine you understand very well when I say how demanding and punishing life on the corporate treadmill can be. I work excruciatingly long hours. And even more just travelling by plane from this capital to that capital until becomes a blur. Checking in and out of hotels that no matter how luxurious start to look the same.

On top of which I got a further promotion and my reward is even longer hours and more stress. The stress is not from the graft of hard work, which is what I enjoy. Rather it’s dealing with egos around the table and biting my nails in frustration at the venality and stupidity of so-called smart and successful people. When I say smart, I mean the highly educated or credentialised.

While high achievement education is great, it tends to limit many people’s view on who should be seen as successful in society and an over-reliance on credentials as a proxy for wisdom.

This rings true at the other end too, where freshest faces off the university conveyor belt just seem so mentally fragile. I am shocked at just how lacking they are in self awareness and devoid of critical thinking. It’s when they start to spout woke nonsense then all my suspicions makes sense. These types never last long and will get spat out in no time at all. No great loss.

The general environs of corporate office culture is empty and soul-draining and full of soulless, power-hungry sociopaths who have shirked their humanity for financial gain and satiate a power lust. It is also occupied by poor unfortunate souls, they are otherwise good people who are unwitting victims of a well-fabricated cultural lie. So why do it? Because I’m unfortunate soul who is also a power hungry sociopath who has shirked her humanity for financial gain and a lust for power. Just kidding. I love the work but hate the hours.

But in my career thus far I’ve mastered speaking in frameworks and talking in lists of three. I’m used to getting emails and calls at all times during the week - firefighting or cleaning up someone else’s mess. I’ve got used to waking up before the sun on most days. I’ve become adept at answering any questions that can catch me off guard. I can successfully bullshit my way through any business topic and appear knowledgeable about things I didn’t know existed. On the plus side, I have more hotel and airline points than I know what to do with.

But most of all, I really appreciate the weekends and the time I can be at home or spend with friends and family. So the past few months off-grid from Tumblr I’ve been quite busy.

I have been travelling since my last post of group trek of hiking and mountaineering in Greece with friends (who were all in the military with me). I spent the summer with my partner travelling to Morocco (rally driving and camel riding in the desert!), and Bali (surf, swim, and s....damn, there I go making lists in threes again as per my work habit ) as well as cycling and hiking and swimming around Monaco, where he lives.

I have been doing mundane things like renovating my Parisian apartment after buying the next door apartment and now trying to make one big apartment, so I can throw proper parties and also host family and friends who want to visit me in Paris. I’ve been doing most of the electrical wiring and other things that need hammering or fixing myself but when I hit a problem I call in the cavalry with some help from others.

I’ve also been perfecting my Chinese language because I was losing it. Before the Covid lockdown I was going to China and Hong Kong often but I haven’t been since then. I can’t rely on what I learned as a child growing up in Shanghai and Hong Kong and so I sought out a native Chinese Mandarin language tutor online to push me and brush up on my language - Chinese is one of those languages that you can lose very quickly if you don’t keep it up, say unlike the European Romance languages which are very easy to retain.

I’ve also had the good fortune to travel and see a lot of opera these past months. Including a trip to the Beyreuth Festival (a controversial new take on Wagner’s Ring des Nibelungen) and also Glyndebourne - which is a family pilgrimage of sorts and the best chance I can see my parents and other older family clan members. I’ve missed out on so much of family events and occasions because of the Covid lockdowns that I’m trying to make up for it (as indeed many are of course).

This also doesn’t include the number of weddings of friends I had to dutifully and happily attended. All good fun.

A lot of my time has increasingly been escaping Paris and heading down to the vineyard. I just love being in the outdoors and in nature.

I haven’t quite gone full Cincinnatus - the famed Roman general and patrician who just gave up his rank and power in the Republic and went back to farming his land - but I have spent more time on my French vineyard. I say my vineyard I really mean the vineyard I co-own with my cousins who along with their French wives actually make the wine and manage the vineyard all year around. I just drop by to muck in with whatever needs to be done on the vineyard. At the end of a hard day’s labour of sweat and toil, there’s nothing better than carousing under a starry night sky with a glass of wine in one hand and a cigar in another and singing local folk songs or telling borderline dirty jokes with earthy French locals.

Currently we are in the middle of the grape harvest - or la vendange - on the vineyard. Needless to say it’s all hands on deck. The pivotal moment of the entire year’s efforts have led up to is finally here. The blood, sweat, and toil of patiently farming the land will finally pay off - or so one hopes. In the days and weeks leading up to harvest, I would sometimes go along with my two talented wine-making cousins when they made daily vineyard visits to sample the grapes, check Brix (a measurement of sugar), and gauge overall grape balance between the sugars, acidity, and tannins. At this time, the weather also plays a critical role in determining when to pick. Heat waves or potential rain showers can cause the vineyard crew to move up or postpone picking. It’s been a steep learning curve but all the muscles aches and pains as well as the callused hands and blistered fingers have been worth it. There’s nothing like rolling up your sleeves and mucking around in dirt and earth.

Anyway, back to Paris and back to work (sigh).

Onwards and upwards. Glad to be back again.

Thanks for your question.

#ask #question #personal #time away #off grid

[svfttachi]

Hiii!!! May I request a naruto x fem!reader? May it be modern au please. Can it be something like the reader overthinking about school and being stressed about finals coming up and naruto just being there for her and he comforts her and makes her feel better 🥺 thank you 💛

SYNOPSIS: Finals week is a crippling time to fend off, and you were one of its victims where eating, drinking water, and sleeping went down the priority list. Focusing too hard on gaining the knowledge needed to succeed has opened up the bad habits you acquired to your gentle and loving boyfriend, Naruto.

PAIRING: Uzumaki Naruto x Fem!Reader

WARNING(S): Mentions of Eating, Drinking, and Sleeping Habits, Descriptions of Stress

TYPE: College/Modern AU, Fluff

WORD COUNT: 2041

NOTES: Oh my gosh, this was such a cute little oneshot to write, and I would have loved to have written this when I was taking my exams early May because it made me feel 100x better afterwards. I hope everyone that is taking or planning on taking finals soon has a nice and easy time preparing. Just like what Naruto says in this oneshot, it is important to stay hydrated and replenish your energy because you will focus way better with that running in your system. To those that are taking finals, good luck!

FINALS week was anything but relaxing especially at the university level. The week before a well deserved summer vacation always brought your mentality down to a deep and stressful level. Studying for finals meant you weren’t sleeping all six to eight hours of sleep that was beneficial for an average human being, and you certainly weren’t taking in filling meals rather getting by on small munchables or snacks. Water intake… oh boy… it wasn’t sitting well with you either. The most you would have is a single glass the entire day. All of these factors tied together with the dreading of taking exams and getting the highest grades weren’t making your mental health any better.

Currently, you were out in a library with some of your good friends, including your wonderful boyfriend, Naruto. Everybody had their laptops out and open to lessons that will help them study for their own finals. Having a nice, piping hot cup of coffee next to you while you studied gave you a better focus on the wordy slides you were attempting at taking into your already exhausted brain. Hours went by, and everyone was still working hard at preparing for their tests, except for a few that had dozed off halfway through the study session including your own boyfriend.

“Hey, let’s all take a break and grab something to eat,” Sakura spoke up, closing her laptop and leaning back to stretch her sore shoulders. “Good grief, I was thinking we would never stop,” Shikamaru complained lazily, lying his legs out on the table with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“What do you all want to eat?” Hinata asked after powering her laptop down. Everyone started sputtering out their ideal choice of food whilst you kept to yourself and continued reading your notes. Eating wasn’t particularly high on your list of needs as of right now despite the rumbling taking place within your body. Naruto’s head immediately rose at the mention of food, and surely, a drool began to form at his lips. “Ramen,” Naruto moaned out, delirious from his hunger collecting in his stomach.

“Anything for you, Y/N?” Ino asked, looking directly at you. You quickly looked over the screen of your laptop, shaking your head, “I’m fine, thanks for asking though.” Ino crossed her arms with a confused look on her face. Shrugging her shoulders, she joined the others who were ready to venture out.

Hinata, Sakura, TenTen, Ino, Choji, and Kiba all volunteered in getting everybody’s food, so they left after writing down what everyone wanted.

“Are you sure she didn’t say what she wanted, Ino?” TenTen asked, noticing your name wasn’t on the list. “It’s weird because she’s always hungry, but I guess she wasn’t in the mood,” Ino replied.

Back at the table, you were left with Naruto, Sasuke, Neji, Rock Lee, Shino, Shikamaru, and Sai. Apart from Rock Lee, Naruto, and Shikamaru, the rest of them were stuck on focusing on their screens. Momentarily after the group left to get food, Naruto propped his chin up and in the palm of his hand, glancing over at your laptop. His widened eyes were answer enough as to what complicated nonsense you were trying to drill into your brain, and it was enough for the boy to rest his head against your shoulder with a tired expression on his face.

“Say, Y/N, did you pack any snacks? I’m starving,” Naruto whined, reaching out to play with one of your hands. Oblivious to his constant voice running in the background, you focused your eyes on your notes. When you didn’t respond in a certain amount of seconds, Naruto turned his head to look at you, taking in your determined face. “Y/N?” he questioned, trying to grab your attention once again.

Upon feeling his finger lightly poking your cheek, you tore your eyes off of the screen and looked down at the desk, finding his head resting on it and directly next to your laptop. Naruto’s cute face was enough to bring out a little giggle. “Snacks,” he whined with exaggerated sadness.

Nodding your head, you leaned down to grab your backpack. The smallest pocket in your bag was specifically reserved for Naruto’s snacks because with an appetite like his, it was appropriate and handy to carry a large reservoir of tiny edibles. You unzipped the pocket and took out the first thing your hand touched, that being a small pack of Goldfish crackers, handing it to the hunger-crazed boy. Immediately, his ocean blue eyes widened and he practically tore the bag apart to begin devouring the treats.

When you went back to focusing on your notes, Naruto realized he didn’t hear your voice when Hinata asked for everyone’s meal orders. It didn’t occur to him at the moment due to hunger starting to devour the insides of his body, but now that he had a small snack savoring the feeling for now, it became peculiar to him. When all of your friends and yourself were gathered for a hangout, it was always you that would mention food and suggest getting it whilst also manually going to get it. However, today, you didn’t even speak a word when you heard everyone was taking a break, and this was unsettling for Naruto.

That’s what conspired Naruto to try to feed you some of his Goldfish, but you rejected his offer multiple times. He huffed and crossed his arms, “Y/N, you need to eat something.” You looked over at your boyfriend and sighed, “I’m not hungry right now.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, not sounding too convinced. A single nod is what you replied with before you went back to reading your notes. Naruto let out a sigh of his own and sadly finished up his snack.

About a half an hour went by, and once he spotted the crew heading over to the table with loads of food in their hands, Naruto raised his arms above his head and jumped out of his seat, hollering “Ramen” over again. Many of the other students here began shushing him in large crowds, but the overexcited boy couldn’t care less about the noise he was making. Naruto ran over to the group, mouth watering just thinking about his tasty ramen. Once the container rested in his hands, Naruto rushed back to his spot and broke apart his chopsticks. However, instead of immediately devouring his food, he glanced over at you, finding you trying to keep your eyes open and on the screen.

Suddenly, Naruto pulled your laptop out of your view which forced your eyes to widen, any reminiscent of sleep disappearing. He shut the laptop off and set it next to his own. You watched him, curiously, pull his chair closer to yours. Naruto started picking up some of the ramen noodles with his chopsticks and held his hand underneath it whilst bringing it towards your mouth, motioning himself opening his mouth paired with a “Say Ah!”

“Naruto, I have to study. I don’t have time to eat,” you said, trying to keep your face away from the chopsticks. However, your attempt was futile because Naruto was waving that thing all around as if he were wielding a magical wand from Harry Potter. “There is always time for food, Y/N, and you need it to focus on studying later. It’ll still be there, so please… let me feed you,” Naruto replied with a softening expression.

Huffing, you turned your eyes away from him and toward the food on the chopsticks, opening your mouth simultaneously. Naruto smiled and continued saying “Ah” whilst bringing the food into your mouth. He watched you eat the food and swallow it to which he felt pleased to have you cooperate with him. When he picked up another serving on his chopsticks, you shook your head and held a hand in front of it, “I don’t want anymore.”

Naruto sighed and dropped the food back into his bowl, setting his chopsticks aside. Not bothering with explaining the situation, Naruto grabbed your hand and hastily pulled you up from your chair, leading you far away from the table and around a corner. Everybody was watching the scene unfold before them, wondering what had occurred between you two.

“Naruto! Let go of me! I have to study!” you shouted in a quiet volume to not disturb anyone else in the library. Once you two were a good distance away from the table and in a secluded area, Naruto dropped your hand from his hold and replaced his hands on your shoulders. The two of you held strict eye contact with one another, and you could have sworn you were feeling shivers run down your spine from how serious the boy was looking at you.

“Y/N, not everything is about studying. At first, I didn’t say anything because I know you like to keep to yourself when studying, but to this extent, I couldn’t stop worrying about you. Last I know, you had breakfast which was like five hours ago, and even then, you had a single piece of toast. This isn’t a healthy way of maintaining a balanced schedule, Y/N. You can’t be spending every minute of everyday studying without putting your self-care above it all. No matter how much studying you do, it won’t matter if something were to happen to you to make you miss your test. Eating full meals, drinking water, and sleeping regularly is all just as important as studying, even more, because without that, then you wouldn’t have the energy to keep all that information inside of your mind. So, please… Y/N, let me feed you just this once, so I know that you are well fed,” Naruto spoke, ending up taking your hands in his own, “I don’t know what I’d do if you were to get hurt from doing this.”

His speech and caring tone alone was enough to make you think deeply, but the worried look on his face was the final bandage that ripped off of the cold exterior you had been putting on. Tears welled in your reddening eyes and began to fall willingly, dripping onto the carpeted flooring. Naruto quickly pulled you into a hug, keeping a hand pressed on the back of your head and allowing you to keep your face nestled in his shoulder. Little kisses were laid on your head as you continued to let out all of the emotions you had bottled up for a while now. “I’m so sorry,” you mumbled against Naruto’s jacket, gripping onto him tighter as if he were going to fly away.

“It’s not your fault. Don’t apologize for this, at all. We’ll get through finals week together and afterwards, we can take a vacation anywhere you’d like to go,” Naruto immediately shot out after hearing your sobbing apology. He pulled away, only a little, to get a good look at your crying face. Tears stained your cheeks, and your hair began to stick to it. Naruto began to comb your hair out of the way and rested his forehead against yours. Something in this little intimate moment made you stop sobbing and look deeply into Naruto’s eyes. One of his amazing and wonderful smiles were what you were met with, causing you to hug him tighter.

Naruto continued to brush your hair away from your face until you felt like you had gotten all the sadness and stress out of your system. “I bet my ramen is all cold now,” Naruto mumbled with a light frown as he took your hand in his. A giggle came out of your mouth, and you clung to his arm, “It’s okay. Let’s just take it home and reheat it to eat it there.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to finish studying first? You looked so focused on it before,” Naruto questioned curiously. A nervous chuckle erupted from your mouth as you rubbed the back of your head awkwardly, “Honestly, I would much rather take a nap than look over all of those complicated equations again.”

“Do you care to join me?” you asked, stopping in front of him and looking into his ocean blue eyes.

“Of course.”

NARUTO MASTERLIST

WRITING MASTERLIST

NAVIGATION

#*+:｡.｡ naruto series writings #anime #anime fanfic #anime fanfiction #anime oneshot #fanfiction #fanfic #oneshot #naruto oneshot #naruto x reader #naruto x you #naruto x y/n #naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto uzumaki #uzumaki naruto #uzumaki #naruto fluff #fluff #finals week #finals #modern au #modern #studying #take care of yourself #lots of fluff

[111iheartu]

law of assumption SP success story and why everyone is you pushed out

back in july 2020, i met with a person while i was on a summer vacation. Me and them stayed a lot together and one day all of a sudden it hit me that i had a crush on this person. I was kind of sad at first as I thought that after I left this place i was for vacation in, me and them would never talk again. A few days prior to leaving me and them exchanged our phone numbers, social media etc. After leaving this place, me and this person were talking every single day, everything was going just the way i wanted it to. In november me and this person got together (keep in mind this was a distant relationship) i was extremely over the moon because i finally found someone that would love me unconditionally. By the end of december, I wasn’t feeling well mentally and I had reoccurring thoughts that I never had before, like “SP must be tired of me, the probably hate me, i’m such a mess etc” I had these thoughts a lot during the day. 2 weeks later in January, 2021. This person messaged me and said that they had something to tell me. They said that they didn’t want to continue this as it was exhausting for them etc which is something they would never say, i knew within me that there was something unordinary going on. I didn’t know about LOA at that time and got confused as to how all of what i had been thinking for these past two weeks just happened in the exact way i was thinking them. It was very hard for me to move on and I had a difficult couple of weeks as I used to constantly ask myself “What did i do wrong?” In May, 2021 I found out about the LOA and after “studying” it for a bit, it hit me that it all happened because of my thoughts. This is proof that we manifest all of the time even if we don’t know about the LOA. So then, I decided to work on my self concept and to put myself on a pedestal instead of other people which helped me a lot in manifesting in the future. (ps. i’m not saying that you need a perfect mindset and self concept to manifest but personally this was helpful for me.) After working on my self concept and mindset, by october, 2021 i started adding affirmations like “SP is thinking about me” “SP comes back to me” “SP floods me with love” etc etc (I can send you the list of affirmations i used if it’s helpful for you as I really want to help everyone out !!) and i swear on all by november, 2021 they came back to me and they started doing and saying everything i had affirmed of. It’s currently May, 2022 one year after I discovered LOA and me and my SP are not only dating but we also live together now. Me and them love each other so much and I’ve never felt happier in my life. Besides SP, I have manifested plenty of other things but I think it’s just fair that I leave them for future posts. I hope my story motivates everyone and clears any doubt about the LOA. Trust the process! sending love ❤️

~ 111heartu

#manifesting #affirmations #law of assumption #void state #specific person #success story #neville goddard

[starry-teacup]

An entirely indulgent statement I wrote for fun. Me and my friend have a little self insert into the tma world that takes place at the Usher Foundation, and is therefore technically canon compliant. This is one of the statements I wrote for it. It’s below the cut if you want to read it.

TRIGGER WARNING// Insanity, character death, suicide, mental illness, I guess you could call a bit of it gaslighting???

[CLICK]

CHARLIE (ARCHIVAL ASSISTANT)

Statement #0190411, given by one Zoë McKendrick, concerning a trip to the museum with her cousin. Recorded by Charlotte Renhan, archival assistant to Daniel Rodrey, the head archivist. Originally given at the Magnus Institute, London, and currently on loan by its sister organization, the Usher Foundation. Statement begins.

{Statement}

Alright, first of all, I swear to God this isn’t a hazing. I know, I know how it looks. A teenager dressed in scene walks into a well established academic place that takes the statement of any random person off the street. It’s obviously a prank. Except that’s not what’s happening. I promise. I need you guys to believe me. God, I just need someone to believe me, anyone! I’m not crazy. I know I’m not. No matter what people say, no matter what those damned tapes show, I am not a liar, I am not just a kid with a hyperactive imagination, and I am not insane. I refuse to believe I am. That’s how it gets you. That’s how it got Amanda. And I refuse to be next. I won’t be next, do you hear me? I am not just a thing for them to take.

God, I’m rambling. I’m sorry, I’m not in the best state of mind right now. Even though a couple weeks have passed, this feeling still won’t go away. I can’t stop seeing the colors- they fill the space behind my eyes whenever I close them, and if I go too long without blinking to avoid it, they bleed into my vision like ink stains on a carpet. I wasn’t built to see those colors. No one was. But I saw them, and now they won’t leave me alone, and they make me feel like I’m going in-

No. I can’t say that. I won’t. 

[sighs]

This is probably making zero sense to you. I need to back up. I live in Bournemouth. It’s mostly a resort and vacation town, but there are a couple of normal neighborhoods if you squint really hard and ignore all of the rich tourists. I live in Springbourne. A lot of families live there, because there are a lot of schools nearby. 

The schools are all fine, I guess, but they’re a bit lacking in the field trip department. All of the interesting places in the area are either casinos, resorts, or ridiculously overcharged shops because of all of the senators vacationing there. There’s one exception, though. In the middle of all of those fancy hotels is an old Victorian mansion that somebody turned into a museum. It’s pretty much the only educational location within a two hour radius. 

Because of this, pretty much every field trip from year 1 to year 13 goes to that weird mansion. It’s called the Russell Cotes Art Gallery and Museum, and it was interesting enough the first two or three visits, but it got old fast. It mostly houses old portraits and statues with muted hues and sensible poses. It never gets new art, and it never renovates. I have seen every exhibit what feels like hundreds of times, and I know that place like the back of my hand.

This summer, my cousin Amanda was coming to stay with us. She’s from the States, so she has the summer off, and my parents said it was okay if she lived with us for a couple weeks even though I still had school. She’s about my age, maybe a year or two older, so my mum and dad assumed we’d instantly bond and start painting each other’s nails or braiding each other’s hair or something. I think my parents might’ve hoped she’d be a good influence on me, maybe get me to wear a little less black. And it’s not like we hated each other or anything, we just …didn’t really talk. We’d never been close, and neither of us particularly felt like building that relationship now. 

My mum blamed it on me. Said I was being antisocial or something. She suggested that I show Amanda around Bournemouth, as some sort of bonding activity. I figured I might as well show her the old museum. There was nothing much else to show, not anything that I could afford.  My dad agreed to take us, and we were awkwardly silent most of the way there. Amanda had her headphones in, and I decided I didn’t have the energy to try and pretend we were friends, so I took out my phone and scrolled on my Tumblr feed.

When we arrived, something felt…different. There was something off about the place that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. If anyone who hadn’t been raised on this museum had seen it, they would have had no idea what I was talking about. But I had seen this place a thousand times, and there was something about it that just felt wrong. Like the saturation had been turned up zero point four notches, and all the angles had been made one degree sharper. It was unsettling- I could’ve sworn it wasn’t like this last time I was here. But a little voice was whispering in the back of my head that I was remembering it wrong, it had always been like this, and why would I even think it had changed?

I shook off my unease and figured I must have misremembered. When we went into the museum, the place was almost deserted. There was barely anyone there outside of the security guards. That wasn’t wholly unusual, though. Most people who came to Bournemouth didn’t come for the museums. I let Amanda take the lead. She seemed to enjoy wandering around, and I had seen everything this place had to offer.

Almost everything that this place had to offer. But as we went down a familiar hallway, it branched suddenly to the left where it should have opened into the Greco-Roman exhibit. I felt the knowledge that that turn should not have been there like a stone in the pit of my stomach- it was impossible. It didn’t make sense. The blank wall in front of me seemed to mock me for my denial. I couldn’t help but think that if that wall had a mouth, it would be laughing at me for trying to deny the existence of what was so clearly in front of my face. 

I guess I might be wrong. I might be filling spaces of memory with what I know now, coloring it in with my current dread. But no, I don’t think that’s it. I saw Amanda hesitate uneasily before she continued on, and I saw undiguised fear in her eyes as she decided to walk forward. That’s how wrong that wall was- Amanda had never been here before, and yet she could still tell- this wasn’t supposed to be here. But she walked onward anyways, and I wasn’t about to tell her that I was scared of a turn in a hallway, so I followed nervously behind. 

At the end of this new hallway was a room. It was small and dimly lit, and there weren’t any windows. If this building used to be a mansion, then this had definitely been a closet. On the wall opposite us was a sketch on a canvas. The lines were so sharp that I marveled that the canvas wasn’t cut by them. I tried to figure out what it was a sketch of. It seemed like I was missing something obvious- like it was a word on the tip of my tongue, like I almost had it. I stared at the framed drawing, trying to see what it was depicting- all the lines twisted and bent and seemed to make a picture, but every time I thought I made out what it was a drawing of, I realized that the lines kept going on ever so slightly past where I thought they had ended. It was hypnotic- I couldn’t tear my eyes away, couldn’t stop trying to see what the art was showing, even though it made my eyes ring and my ears hear stars. In retrospect, I think those lines went on forever. I think I could have stared and stared and stared, and I never would have figured out what it meant. It didn’t have a meaning- but it beckoned people to try and spend their life finding it anyway.

I don’t know how long I stared at it- it felt like decades, a lifetime, trying to interpret something that didn’t make sense- that couldn’t make sense. But I know my reverie was broken when Amanda began to walk towards the canvas. She had seen something I had been too absorbed in the colors and lines to notice- the painting was hung up wrong. The whole thing was tilted 45 degrees to the left. Amanda lifted her arms up slowly and shakily, and gently placed them on the edges of the frame. For a moment, time was frozen, Amanda’s hands trembling on the edges of the painting while I stared. 

In one swift and steady motion, Amanda righted the sketch.

Immediately I was released from the spell. I turned to run out the door- but it was gone. There was simply another wall there taunting me where the exit used to be. 

Wait, what do I mean, used to be? No, there was never an exit there. It had always been a wall. I turned back to Amanda and the painting. The lines of graphite had finally cut clean through the canvas, shredding it. Nothing changed about the sketch. No colors appeared, strange and acidic and not meant for human eyes. I didn’t scream as my eyes began to bleed at the sight of the hues that weren’t there and never had been. Nothing was anything here. Not anymore. Had anything ever been? I couldn’t tell. I couldn’t remember. My brain was throbbing and aching. I couldn’t think. I could barely see with the blood sliding down my cheeks like tears. I tried desperately to understand what was happening, but trying to comprehend it only made it hurt worse.

Amanda stood by the sketch, frozen. The colors that weren’t spilled out of the ravaged canvas like blood out of a wound and did not begin to pool and spread on the floor. I knew, I knew, that no matter what happened, we shouldn’t touch the growing pool that wasn’t. I seized Amanda’s arm and yanked her away as hard as I could. She went stumbling backwards and fell onto the concrete floor. Hadn’t it used to be wooden? No, I was remembering wrong, it had always been concrete. It must have been. 

I backed against the wall opposite the bleeding canvas, and Amanda stumbled to her feet beside me. Her shoe had fallen off when she fell over. The pool of colors didn’t reach the shoe and lap at its edges hungrily. The shoe didn’t begin to warp and twist and invert until it was something that was barely recognizable. It didn’t begin screaming with an impossible mouth that wasn’t there, and the sound didn’t give me a headache that still hasn’t completely left. The shoe wasn’t. And it looked painful.

I started banging at the wall, screaming and crying for help. I don’t know what I hoped to achieve. Even if someone had heard me, they couldn’t very well have broken through solid concrete- wait, plaster now- and I doubt anyone could hear me. I hit the wall and no sound was made. My screams turned to bubbles the moment they left my mouth, and floated away until they landed on those nonexistent colors and burst with horrendous chromatic vibrancy. 

Even though I hadn’t touched it yet, I could feel everything that wasn’t there seeping into the room and saturating it, like a tea bag steeping. The dim light, the air, Amanda, me- everything was being instilled with a horrible, inescapable wrongness. I choked down a sob as I thought about it: I would be locked in this room forever, slowly becoming warped and twisted until I was nothing I ever was or should have been able to be. I felt like I was going crazy- nothing here was possible. Nothing here was anything. All of my senses must have been lying to me- malfunctioning, showing me things that weren’t there. Everything here was soaked in that vague, hazy wrongness, like a dream gone wrong, except my brain would never have been able to create anything like this on its own.

Amanda seemed to think that too.

“It’s…it’s like a dream. It’s all like a dream.” Her voice was gleaming and dewy. When she looked at me, something in her eyes scared me almost more than that impossible room. Something black and tenuous, like thin ice, already starting to crack. “Maybe…maybe if we apply dream logic, we can escape?” She seemed as though she was talking more to herself than to me. I didn’t think that was a good idea. This place seemed to me the antithesis of all logic or pattern. Trying to make sense of it in any way would only make things much, much worse. I told her so. 

Sometimes I wonder if I should have done that. I’m now certain that her dream logic solution wouldn’t have worked, but my words seemed to be the last straw. The thin, fragile thing in her eyes seemed to break, and a nervous, unhinged chuckle left her lips. It echoed and danced unnaturally around us, like the room was gloating over a victory.

 “So that’s it, then?” She asked me, her voice dangerous and hazy in the dark light. “I’m just crazy?” 

I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing. What was I supposed to have done? Told her everything was going to be okay? Told her that no, she wasn’t crazy, there was a logical explanation to this obvious impossibility? I think a lot about what I could’ve said. I don’t think there was anything that could’ve saved her. It was too late for that.

At my silence, Amanda started laughing again, a horrid thing that morphed into a sob, then a scream, then back again. I just stood there, frozen. Amanda finally calmed herself down, but what she did next scared me more than screaming. She smiled pleasantly at me, like there was nothing at all wrong in the world. She briskly brushed off her clothes, which had been made messy by the dirt wall we had been fruitlessly pounding on.

Finally, she sighed contentedly, then looked at me and said, “Well, there’s no use delaying it, then.” Amanda turned on her heel and walked directly into the pool of not-colors. She dissolved into-

CHARLIE {Pauses the statement}

I, uh- I can’t read this. It…looks like words? Maybe? But…uh…this handwriting isn’t readable. Not like it’s sorta messy, it’s…wow. I can’t even tell if this is the English lettering system. 

[Avery pauses] Actually, I think it isn’t. And did she bring colored pens in? This ink definitely isn’t black.

…wait, is it?

[Avery pauses again to examine] …I think it is. It looks colorful but it isn’t. I can tell it’s written in black ink. That’s…huh. I’ll take it up with Daniel later. Maybe he’ll be able to read it. It resumes two pages later.

CHARLIE {continues statement}

After that, the room was gone. No, that’s not right, it couldn’t have been gone. In order for something to be gone, it has to have been there in the first place. I was standing in the Greco-Roman exhibit, the place that hallway should’ve led me to. The place I must have been the entire time. Without hesitation, I turned and left.

Mom says there’s never been an Allison in our family. She says her sister never had kids, that I don’t have any cousins, especially not in America. When I mention her, my mom and dad exchange these worried glances. They’re scared, I can see it. At first, when I got home and started yelling about a nonexistent cousin, they thought I was messing with them. When I started hyperventilating, though, they began to see it was something more. They took me back to the museum, asked me to show them which hallway it was. When I saw it, I started shaking. I don’t remember much after that, but apparently I had a breakdown in the middle of the museum and started screaming about the colors. They sent me to a shrink after that. I don’t tell her the truth. I can hear what my parents say when they think I’m not paying attention, but they’re wrong. I’m not schizophrenic. I’m not crazy. But I take it that telling her about colors that aren’t there and Amanda’s voice in my ear whenever I’m alone, telling me that she made the right decision, isn’t going to help my case. 

I still see them, you know. More and more often, they seep into my vision and the cracks of my mind and refuse to leave. Even now, I can see them. Can’t you? A blotch of them hovers over the paper, angrily lapping at the ink. It’s difficult to see what I’m writing when they cover everything. It’s difficult to think, too. Amanda tells me that I should’ve listened to her. She says the only thing better than seeing the colors is being them. 

She’s wrong. She whispers to me that I can’t really know unless I join her. I don’t know how I would even go about doing that, but I have no intention of doing so. I’m not like her, I am perfectly sane. My parents and the shrink can go screw themselves, because however much doubt they put in my mind, I still know. I-I’m sane. I’m not crazy. I have to be, right?

AVERY

Statement ends.

Follow up on this one is difficult, because it would appear that, no matter what our young statement giver claimed, this was, indeed, a prank. According to our records, and the records of everyone I have checked with, there has never been a Zoë McKendrick. While there is a couple in the area Zoë mentioned with the same last name who happen to have family in America, they do not, nor have ever had, a daughter.

Zoë mentioned at the beginning of her statement that the museum she visited has video tapes that went against her claim. Merideth went to that check out and found that she was correct, and there was no evidence corroborating a left turn in any hallway where there should not have been. 

She did find, though, that a few weeks before this statement was given, there were tapes of two unidentified teenage girls entering the museum. After a few minutes of looking around, they went down a hallway, and entered the Greco-Roman exhibit. They stood there motionless, and for around two hours, the tapes continued on with no visible change. For one moment, though, the tapes broadcasted an unfamiliar room with a single work of art hung on the wall. Then the feed cut back to what was broadcasted before, except only one girl remained. She turned and left, and didn’t return until a few hours later, when she brought in two adults and visibly had a breakdown before leaving again. That is all the evidence supporting this statement. 

When confronted with this, the McKendricks firmly stated that they had no memory of either person, or the visit to the museum.

To be honest, this statement can be one of two things. A teenager may have seen a malfunction in the tapes, and thought it would be funny to tell this to the Magnus Institute as a prank. That is the more likely scenario. 

On the other hand…perhaps, Zoë was unable to believe in her sanity as firmly as she needed to.

End recording.

[CLICK]

#Tma #magnus archives #the magnus archives #the usher foundation #Usher foundation #Fan statement #Statement #the spiral #I you daw any typos- no you didn’t

[wanderinglotus7]

SUMMER SUMMER SUMMERTIME

Wow! It feels like summer just arrived and it’s almost already gone. Soon all the kids will be going back to school and the leaves will be changing. For now, we got to deal with the heat & humidity. I’m not complaining too much. However, I would prefer my 70 degree weather and sweaters. Or I would like the nice weather I experienced while I was on vacation out on Cape Cod. Talking about Cape Cod, it was a wonderful & relaxing vacation. I’m sorry Alex couldn’t join because of her unexpected fever. Yet, me & Caroline still enjoyed ourselves. We explored Cambridge/Boston, Mashpee, Martha’s Vineyard, and Provincetown. We had nice beach weather and we ended our last day at the beach watching a beautiful sunset. I can do another staycation.

Starting in September my finances are increasing partly because my living expenses have increased and the student loan pause will end. So traveling abroad will be on pause after 2025. Summer 2025, I’m planning to go to Montego Bay, Jamaica with a group friends. As a good compromise, and somewhat last hooray, I’m looking into staying at an affordable all inclusive resort. I’m debating on whether to invite a big group of people or kind of keep it small to those I know will make an effort in planning this trip & go. I have an year and half to feel the water. Next years trip will either be a mother & daughter trip or a family trip with my brother’s family. Destination: Charleston, South Carolina. I still like the idea of doing a solo trip and rent a treehouse or cabin for myself somewhere like in New Hampshire or Vermont. Just a four day weekend for myself. I enjoy my alone time. I would do this in the Fall. This could give me the peace & silence to do some writing and/or reading. There’s plenty of places in the U.S. I still want to visit but Portland, Oregon is next on my list. Abroad, Amsterdam, the Netherlands and the Democratic Republic of Congo (I have to visit the motherland of my African ancestors).

Circling back to my day to day life…work makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes or just runaway. I don’t believe that it just being the summer is what is leading to burnout, the pressure of the the job along with our sucky safety nets, lack of staff and influx of people in need; cracks my spirit. I’m not feeling hopeless…things just need to get better. We have to open positions: CVPR social worker and Adelante social work advocate (my position but with BWH). With all the extra work I’ve been doing with On-call (acute response), I should be getting compensated more. More money or more PTO. When I discuss what’s been happening at work with others, they tend to ask me what else am I interested doing? I’m still figuring that out myself. It seems like the people I’ve spoken with are satisfied with their current roles after trying one or two other jobs before the current one. Or leaving their current job because they found a better opportunity more exact to what they vision themselves doing in the long run. Or looking for part time work to make extra money as well as fulfill/add to their passion.

Nothing is really poppin for me. Professional goal: LICSW which will take me two years to get. So I’m not really going anywhere anytime soon. If or when I leave BIDMC, I don’t think I want to go to another department or continue to work in a hospital. If I stay in the medical field I would want to work at a community center whether that be a community mental health center or a small community health clinic being a regular social worker. I would love to continue my work with trafficking survivors. The alternative would be working with adolescents and young adults. Casandra said she could see me working with the elderly. Am I becoming my mother LOL. She’s mainly worked with young children and the elderly, but she’s burnt out too. Praying that these positions will be filled soon so I can adjust my schedule to fit my work lifestyle. Two days remote, three days on-site. Mondays: Administrative. Tuesdays & Thursdays: clinical and case management. Wednesdays: Team meetings. Fridays: Acute Response.

I’m still in the process of finding some answers with my physical health. So far, its just been one exam/test after another. At the end, whatever is causing things to change my body, I hope its nothing too serious that I can’t change for the good naturally and I can resolve in a short timeframe. On the upside, my spiritual & mental health is good. Family is family, and I don’t have much to say about that. Until we speak again…

#my life #working process #adulthood

[sophie-i-guess13]

Something Sweet

yes this is the first chapter of a lil thing I’m working on bc I’m physically incapable of just relaxing on my summer vacation. The idea of Sylvia and Sodapop being a ship hit me like a truck and hasn’t relented <3 ps I’m doing this all on mobile so idk why the spacing is so weird I hate it! :)

words : 822

characters : Sodapop + Ponyboy Curtis, Sylvia

tw: canonical character death

tag! @mjmacchio1991 @pepsi-and-cigarettes @apricot-colored-feathers @the-kneesbees @ralphmaccchiato @patrickslayze @outsiderslamb @frypansgirl @jackettslut @victorious-2 @unoriginalchocolatemilk

You lay flat on your back, tired eyes tracing the popcorn-ceiling and the lines of time etched on its surface. Your brother jolts beside you every so often, moaning and crying out as the sweat winds down his forehead and he wraps the sheets tighter around himself until it looks more like a straight jacket than the same blankets your mother used to tuck you into. You can’t help but think it’s for the best when he tenses again, Pony’s foot finding the side of your shin.

For a fleeting moment, you’re almost grateful for the overwhelming exhaustion that made you forget to switch out of your clothes.

Your jeans are filthy, stained with mud and coppery blood of the Socs who wanted your brother and Johnny in the chair for what had happened to Bob Sheldon. Your shirt is in no better condition. Even in the darkness, the splatter in the center of your chest is obvious. You can taste the blood now, too, you’d bitten down on your bloody lip for umpteenth time since Darrry carried Ponyboy to your bed.

It hurts. It hurts, but you know your busted lip doesn’t hurt nearly as much as burnt timber collapsing on your back would, or getting torn apart by bullets while your friends watched.

As you stare up at the ceiling, it’s almost as if their faces stare back at you. Dallas if first, probably because you can still hear his body hit the cement if your mind goes quiet enough. His lips form one solid line, wisps of white-blonde hair press flat against his forehead and the nape of his neck. When you move your hand to wipe your bloodied lip, then to brush the hair from Ponyboy’s eyes, the face in the ceiling changes.

The last you saw of Johnny Cade was a picture in the newspaper. Even if it was only a sketch, you imagine it’s better than the mental image of him, nearly burnt to a crisp, spending his last few hours in agony in the same hospital where you found out your parents died. In the picture in your mind, Johnny doesn’t look happy. It took a lot to make that kid smile. But he doesn’t look like he’s in pain, either, so you decide you’ll have to be thankful for that.

Time seems to have lost all meaning. You don’t know if it will ever return. Ponyboy’s fallen into a deep sleep, finally. The repetitive rise and fall of his chest is almost enough to lull you to sleep, as well. You don’t have work tomorrow, but you can’t stand the fact of Darry having to care for your baby brother on his own.

Your legs cross at the ankles, fingers interlocked when you rest your scarred hands on your chest. The final face you see in your mind’s eye comes to you in the form of a memory.

Dally’s no-good, two-timing ex-girlfriend sits in front of you at the rodeo grounds. Only, they weren’t together yet. They were barely fourteen, actually. She wears her cousin’s hat, though you can still see her hair as it covers her shoulders, she teeters back and forth on the edge of her seat. Dallas is on the track somewhere, racing with the Slash-J’s after one of their jockeys took a nasty fall and tore something or other in his leg. After hearing he’d be out for the rest of the season and that a pretty paycheck was up for grabs, Buck Merrill jumped at the chance to see how quickly the newcomer from New York could settle into a saddle.

People around you explode into cheers and disappointed curses as the horses and their riders cross the finish line. You recognize him now, racing in boots too big for him and a wicked horse just below. Dallas would’ve finished first if that damned horse didn’t make sure Dal crossed the line before he did.

Sylvia was on her feet, taking the stairs three at a time before any of the rodeo hands seemed to notice one of the riders trying to survive the stampede of hooves pummeling the ground around him.

They’d already broken up. Dallas had caught her, or heard, that she’d been seeing someone else while he’d been in jail. You shake your head like an Etch-A-Sketch, trying to free the image from your mind without waking your brother. Try as you might, it seems impossible to imagine anything else but what Sylvia would’ve done if she were there to see.

You can’t imagine how she'll finally find out, either. The paper? Maybe the radio or television? Maybe she’ll be walking with her girlfriends and see his blood stained on the concrete.

Maybe she’ll just know.

#soapie’s stuff #the outsiders #the outsiders fanfiction #sodapop x sylvia #sodapop curtis #sylvia the outsiders

[purplesurveys]

1688

Any recent purchases? I got sooooooooo much pasalubong from my Thailand trip that I’ve barely spent anything on my current Malaysia trip, lol. But besides vacation expenses, the last big purchase I did was my new sneakers.

Have you ever thought about giving up on life completely? Well yes, many times. I wasn’t exactly the healthiest person mentally not too long ago.

Have you seen the entire Harry Potter series? Nope. I haven’t finished any of the movies, then book-wise I stopped at around the fifth book.

Do you still have both of your parents? I do.

Do you live very far away from Kansas? VERY far.

Do you enjoy cuddling? Sure, it’s cute. I haven’t done it in a while though.

Do you play video games? Just basic, family-friendly ones. I can never finish those that actually have a storyline, aka a good 90% of video games haha; I leave that skill to my sister and dad.

How many colors are in your hair right now? I just had it dyed earlier this month so the purple is still extremely dominant and vibrant and I don’t see much black growing back just yet.

Do you have your full license yet? As opposed to an...incomplete(?) license? Hahaha in any case yes I have my driver’s license. Kinda need it on me at all times as I drive a lot and you never know what establishments would ask an ID from me.

Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? Yes. Well all Filipinos have dark brown eyes anyway, so it’s not like we have a lot of wiggle room as far as physical features.

Does your significant other boss you around a lot? I’m not seeing anyone.

Do you prefer winter or summer? I wanna pick out winter even though I’ve never experienced it, just because I like feeling cold and I know what summer feels like (aka not pleasant).

Do you know anyone who has overdosed? Hmm. I don’t think so. Maybe just from gossip that goes around but I’ve never been invested to care or to stalk deep enough to figure out if it’s true.

Are you a fan of PDA (public displays of affection)? It’s whatever. I have the choice to look away if I think the couple looks gross. Otherwise, you do you. Love away!

Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? I have not, and the thought terrifies me. What do you mean they’ll slice me open and I won’t even feel it? 😭

Where are your siblings as of now? They’re in their respective rooms in our Airbnb, most likely sleeping as it is currently 1:40 AM.

What color shirt are you wearing as of now? It’s white.

What is your favorite class? I’m not in school anymore but I always looked forward to history. Back in college I had a bit of freedom in terms of electives I could choose, and I made it a point to make most of them history majors classes, hehe.

Are you in love with someone right now? Nopes.

Can you speak any other languages than the one you’re fluent in? I’m fluent in both English and Filipino. I can understand extremely basic spoken Spanish and Korean, but I’d be a lot better reading either language.

Do you take a lot of photos? Nah. The only time I whip out my phone camera is if I’m going through an extremely new experience, which doesn’t happen a lot anyway. Topline examples: my Yoongi concert and ongoing vacations in Thailand + Malaysia.

When you were little, did you think band-aids healed everything? Yes. And the Asian way of healing wounds and bruises – blowing on them, lol.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Not at all.

Where do you download music from? I use Spotify; I haven’t downloaded music in more than a decade.

Have you ever cheated on someone before? Never.

Have you ever attempted suicide? Yes more times than I can count.

Do you know what ‘irony’ means? Yes, but I will say the word sometimes still confuses me...it’s the reason I just opt to never use it in sentences hahahaha.

How many pillows do you normally sleep with? Two is more than enough.

Do you lose your remote often? I don’t really use remotes anymore. I can control stuff using my phone anyway.

Have you ever skipped class before? Yeah, mostly in college. If the class felt like a chore more than anything, I usually didn’t hesitate to cut if I felt lazy.

Are you a regular school skipper? I wouldn’t say I was a regular skipper, though I did have my fair share of cuts. In my school you had a max number of cuts before the prof failed you, and in most cases it was like 6 cuts per class – and for each class, I just budgeted those cuts across the semester. Like I never went over, but I didn’t waste those free absences either hahaha.

Do you have any Pay-per-View channels? No, we haven’t even had cable since the pandemic. We canceled our subscription and ever since then we’ve just been using YouTube, Netflix, and Disney+ to watch stuff on the TV.

Who, in your life, makes you feel discouraged? Nobody.

When was the last time you went bowling? Years ago.

Do you ever suspect your significant other of lying to you? Don’t have one.

Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? I don’t celebrate that.

Is there anything bothering you right now? It’s our last day in Malaysia and everything goes back to normal for me tomorrow...eugh. The feeling is gross. My overall trip (including my stay in Bangkok) the last two weeks taught me a couple of things about how to live my life though...here’s hoping that feeling will be sustained even well after I’ve returned to Manila.

Would you like to talk to someone about it? No, I would rather process it by myself.

Do you live by any major bodies of water? Yeah, the Pacific Ocean + West Philippine Sea.

Do you tend to make the first move in a relationship? Historically, yes. I am not opposed to doing so again.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? As much as I can, especially when my dad is home.

How many times have you been to Disney World, if any? None.

Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? Yes.

Have you ever been accused of being on drugs when you weren’t? Never.

Do you have a more quiet or loud voice? I use my louder voice more often, but I definitely know how to whisper. I point this out because I know so many people who only know how to speak loudly and seem to not know how to modulate their voice lol.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Yes.

When was the last time you got a shot? Last April when I was getting followup shots after Cooper bit me in the face.

Can you play any instruments? If so, what are those instruments? Nope.

Do you have any diseases? No.

Have you ever been into a car accident? Yeah but they’ve all been relatively minor. I have never gotten hurt, fortunately.