#i’m starting an elliot hate club

[kiddseveride]

can elliot idk maybe shut the fuck up?? like yeah colton was like a father to you but he was kat’s actual father. kat literally saw and held him as he died. she has to live with the guilt of accidentally causing her father’s death. so you know what fuck you you whiny ass

#also like you can’t even comprehend the amount of guilt kat has #del would be ashamed of you if she knew #colton would also be ashamed of you #you don’t deserve to imagine what he would say to you #you’d prob imagine him taking your side and boosting you up #alice was frantic when she couldn’t find her mom and you didn’t care #i hate elliot so much #i’m starting an elliot hate club #the way home #the way home hallmark #twh #twh hallmark

[destinyc1020]

As a Tomdaya on the bird app, who stans Tom and Z as individuals as well as their relationship, I’d thought I chime in. I agree with the anon that Z is treated very differently on the app than Tom and I find it weird. I think Z fans are very proctevtive of Z, rightfully so but they often fail to view her as a human being and put her on this bizarre pedestal that sometimes removes her humanity as an individual that I can only really compare to to Taylor swift. Disney is the starting block to ownership because a lot of fans either grew up with Z or rewatched her shows on the channel that they are the super fans today. Add in The Greatest Showman, MCU, Euphoria and Dune. Properties with big fan bases. Her music career was also very successful though cut short and had a huge impact. It’s not lost on me of the sheer volume of fame and fans she’s received being strategic and being one of a kind talent.

Tom on the other hand has MCU but really didn’t grow up in the public the way Z did at age 13. Another factor I think is a big contribution to this phenomenon is that Z encourages parasocial relationships with her fans. I didn’t think to much of this because most celebs have social media but most don’t really talk to fans unless their gen z or musicians.

They put Z on puritanical pedestals and remove her humanity.Sometimes I think they forget that they know she lurks on socials and might like or retweets accounts thus creating subfandoms that have relations to Z. Those fandoms are not bad and great if your a fan. But those ones like timdayas, hunterdaya or anyone daya who cut Tom out of everything is just so weird to me. They get annoyed if you make a Tomdaya joke cause she more than her relationship. They’re not wrong but she’s always more than her costars but they never see through that logic because it doesn’t fit their narrative lol.

Timothee used to be parasocial as well, especially at the beginning of his career. He would communicate with fans and actually create a bond with them on socials and real life. Club Chalamet is a result of that lol. After the Eiza situation, he stopped and mainly keeps interactions slim and mainly related to his next project because he saw that lines were being blurred and those fans at the time were judgmental. Idk if you remember the infamous Timothee I trusted you meme because despite general public coming for him, those stans really were doing too much lol. I think that’s why he hid his relationships from his fans because they built this idea of him when he’s just a man in his 20s figuring it out lol.

Tom fans are in three catergories mcu fanboys, Tomdayas like me lol, antis who don’t like Z. His fanbase on twitter is really an amalgamation of Tomdayas who both love Z and Tom but their small compared to Z’s or Timothee. When he gets hate Tomdaya felt the need to defend on his behalf. The reality is Tom doesn’t care. He only uses insta and avoids twitter. He healthy because he live in his own universe. However, he’s not a Paul mescal or Josh O’Connor where his work little or alot can stand out for itself whether he’s likeable or not. A lot of his fame comes from his personality or ip films. I’m aware I missed Billy Elliot, just don’t thinks it relevant on social media. Yes I loved tcr but when the rt score came it was brutal. It was shocking seeing critics who relatively have a niche on films come for him and I was just sad that ppl had this much vitriol despite the fact he’s not problematic. Both film twitter beloved Chris Pine and Chris Evans have critically failure and there’s not hate as much as Tom got that week. One thing as a Tomdaya that muted certain z fans who hate on him is that he really doesn’t care.

Him liking that insta post about him forgetting he’s famous made me realise that as a fan I should not care and just curate my account for my own happiness. I don’t engage tweets about comparison with other actors, z’s exes or costars because I know it’s bait. Toms fanbase is small so I’m happy it’s not as big as other actors. That’s why I think those fans can repost his kissing scenes of intamite scenes cause he doesn’t lurk Twitter and it doesn’t start trending. Z does so when those fans post things about her boyfriend or her exes or costars, they know she lurks and I think that’s weird. Maybe that’s why Tomdayas get on defence lol. I’m aware though some Tomdayas can be cringe. I’m not rewriting history here lol.

That’s my two cents lol. Hope you have a good day xxx

Thnx for your input Anon. 😊

Another factor I think is a big contribution to this phenomenon is that Z encourages parasocial relationships with her fans.

I wouldn't say she encourages it, I just think she wants to try to stay personable with her fans and show them that she's still that kind, down to earth girl from Oakland that they've always known and loved, no matter how "famous" she gets. 😊

I didn’t think to much of this because most celebs have social media but most don’t really talk to fans unless their gen z or musicians.

Well Z IS Gen Z lol 😅

Timothee used to be parasocial as well, especially at the beginning of his career. He would communicate with fans and actually create a bond with them on socials and real life. Club Chalamet is a result of that lol. After the Eiza situation, he stopped and mainly keeps interactions slim and mainly related to his next project because he saw that lines were being blurred and those fans at the time were judgmental.

Well, honestly Anon.... MOST Celebrities (I feel) have realized over the years that the LESS they share of their personal life, the BETTER. If you go back 7 years....even just 5 years....and you were to go back in time and be on IG or Twitter as a fan back then, you would see that Z, Tom, Timothee, shoot....even Austin, Nadia lol, etc. ALL used to be waaaay more personable, engaging, and even posted WAY more on their social media accounts back then compared to now. I think over the years, a LOT of these celebrities (especially the ones who are fairly famous) have all realized just how toxic social media has become in just such a short time, and I think they have figured out that the less they share, the better.

Fans have definitely crossed the line, and these actors have realized that they need to put a boundary again btwn them, their private life, and their fans. That's just my own personal observation and theory. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Him liking that insta post about him forgetting he’s famous made me realise that as a fan I should not care and just curate my account for my own happiness.

I definitely think you should curate your online account for your own happiness and not worry too much about Tom. With that said, while he may have liked that post, we can't say with 100% accuracy that "he doesn't care" about what people say about him. He IS human after all. He might not care about ALL things, but certain things might def be hurtful.

[roryheart]

I need more tmf mutuals so i’m doing this quick about me thing

Name, pronouns and age are all already in my bio so this will be more fandom specific

Favorite character(s)?

Definitely Jake, Lia, Drew and Milly (and i’ve been warming up to Daisy recently as well)

Favorite Episode?

Ep 11 because of the drama but I love the vibes of Ep 6 (it’s kinda like season 3 of stranger things, if you watch that)

How long have you been a fan?

I’ve been a fan of Rosy since her drarry series but I only started to care about tmf around episode 3

Zodiac sign/birthday?

I’ve never really been very into zodiacs but I was born on April 18th and i’m an aries

If you could change one thing about tmf what would it be and why?

Probably hailey’s characterization, i love her but she isn’t very consistent and doesn’t have any backstory besides her stage fright

Mbti?

From both the test and studying cognitive functions i’m an ENFP

What do you ship?

Drake, Henriam, Hailia (Hailey x Lia) , Lander , Dadie

What ship do you hate?

It’s hard for me to hate any ship if it’s not illegal or creepy but if i had to choose i’d say Jander as a personal preference and Jailey just because it’s underdeveloped

Character you'd love to punch in the face?

Elliot. I hate this man more than life itself for no real reason

What character do you want to learn more about?

Drew and Zander we get little snippets here and there but i really want an episode dedicated to either of them

Character you relate most to?

Jake, Lia and (despite how much she annoys me sometimes) Hailey

Favorite moment between a ship?

The lander confession never fails to get me feeling so comforted and nostalgic

Favorite moment between a friendship?

Milly, Zander and Luke while they’re at the mall and Zoe shaking Henry on that one Driam insta post

Unpopular opinion?

The music club weren’t in the wrong for yelling at jake after the voice note, especially since he had bullied them for years (not saying that drew and the dromies were wrong either)

These will probably change after a while but these are my current opinions BUT PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I NEED TO SEE MORE TMF FANS😭

#tmf #the music freaks #tmf fan #dromies #the music club #freakblr

[storiesofsvu]

happy law and order thursday!!

Okay, city tv has registered that I’m not actually in Toronto and now we’re back to the backwards viewing order…

OC first:

My goldfish brain has half forgotten if we’ve seen this blonde dude before or if I just know him from somewhere else.

There’s so much goddamn tension between bell and the other captain, like there is no way they haven’t fucked…

Ugghh mama bear belllll…. Heck yes to these parents watching out for their kids, nothing gets past them lol.

Still don’t like/understand jet using air pods instead of official ear pieces…

Okay, yes Reyes was on his way to blowing the op, but jet didn’t need to jump right in, she kinda fucked the whole thing up.

Bruh… is that bitch dead? Do we need to start reminding the younger generations they need therapy too?

Okay, good, shrink time it is! Bonus that it’s Ayanna’s personal shrink, not department, a: more personal. B: proves that she’s in therapy and we know she likely needs it.

They might be exes, they might be frenemies, but they certainly do work an interrogation room great together

I feel like gunfire in the midst of a gas station parking lot where all the fuel is, is a deadly idea… that could have gone so much worse. Esp considering this is in relation to bombing cases…

I know a lot of it is likely just the era that the show was created/originally airing but the differences in the squad room designs between departments baffles me.

Elliot really out here lecturing his own brothers like he didn’t up and leave out of nowhere. God I hate this shit lol.

*

L&O now. How much attention will I pay?

Jfc… that dead body was a jump fucking scare

What is WITH all the shaky cam tonight, ugh.

I have said it before and I will say it again: Samantha Maroun goes shopping with Rita Calhoun.

Fuck, cases like this fucking suck. But like, legality wise, they’re right. It’s easier to get the perp behind bars by just using the more solid case they have with the rich white victim. If they try to get justice for all the victims, it’s way more likely that they case can and will be thrown out or land on a not guilty verdict. Ugh. Politics

If they need to prove that the vic and the perp didn’t have sex at the sex club on the night of the murder…why not just run a rape kit? Or would some kind of exam like that just be part of the autopsy?

More shaky cam… loving this.

Also why the fuck did my subtitles disappear halfway through this episode? I’m deaf… I need this shit..

Seriously that crime scene photo needs to come with a fucking warning. Jesus

*

Okay. SVU time

Wonderful. I’ve gotten my subtitles back. Thank god.

This is a weird start… hmm…

Getting even more interesting… ngl…

Okay, circling back around, I thought we might be about to get a plot twist of ray being the perp.

UUGHH. I saw a tweet about a new female officer/detective and as much as we all hope that she’ll stick around for more than a season… if Officer Gomez is the new squad member, she’s a woman poc so the chances of her sticking around are slim to none, lets be fucking real.

 Okay, don’t get me wrong. I know that this girl is tiny and she’s an escort, but if a man came in and confessed to rape you’d still take him immediately into an interrogation room. This is a double standard. Especially cause she’s young, thin and pretty, I’m not going to ignore that or let that slide either. *side eye* (like yes, we later do get to the point that she was forced at gun point, but they don’t know that til after. Everything is complicated and there’s lots of lines crossing over and blurring but my statement still stands)

When are they gonna make Bruno an actual part of the team? Why is he still just a guest star?

Man, it’s gotta be hella hard nowadays when it comes to taxis and shit. You have legit taxi’s, multiple companies, gypsy cabs and multiple ride share apps and companies.

Odafin Tutuola only knows about robin egg blue because of Phoebe… there is no way he would know otherwise.

This doctor clearly fucking rich as hell, fuck

HOW does the SEX CRIMES unit currently not have any women working for it??!! (I’m not counting liv cause she’s the captain and irl she would not be in the field, she’d be constantly swamped by paperwork). Even in this episode, it would be helpful to have either terry or fin and a female cop going to talk to a vic/potential vic, if I had been assaulted in any form, remembering it or not I wouldn’t be very open to talking about it if they were talking to me like that, both playing the alpha role. At least with Velasco he can slip into a more soft, quiet, supportive type of conversation/questioning…

“where do you keep your receipts” is something that ALWAYS blows my fucking mind on these shows as a bartender. I DO NOT GET IT. Maybe it’s cause we have tap/card machines that don’t require signatures in Canada, but like…we don’t keep receipts, and even when there are the ones we do keep, they don’t have names, they don’t even have the full credit card number on them, so there would be no way to track someone. We had 250 people in the room each night and as a bartender, unless they had a tab with me, or a personal connection/were a good tipper/conversationalist, I’m not gonna remember them. Our reservations are usually for large groups, so sure we have a single name/card on file, but there’s no way to pin point someone out of their 4-40 people friend groups.  Random bar/service industry things that drive me wild on tv shows. That’s all.

Okay, we’re taking the bracelet off, I think that’s some progress finally.

You know, I wouldn’t mind commercial breaks if they weren’t the same fucking commercials every damn time. That’s the issue with live streaming shit. I miss cable…

“well…they’re idiots, but at least they’re consistent” LOL

Ice T really said “hold on…I need to earn my paycheque for the season” with the amount of screen time he has this ep…

Wait…what’s the plan here? The cops have talked to the perps, there’s no way they wouldn’t be sus about ray coming back in on this. Why not send Velasco or other cops in to bribe the things out and play the ray role? This seems like a bad idea lol.

“wife is here” WHY DID NO ONE TELL VELASCO??

Why don’t we get to go to court anymore?!

Who is this defence attorney? She looks familiar.

I need to raid Velasco’s closet. This coat and sweater look so fucking cozy. They’re mine now.

Glad to see liv branching out to a new type of therapy.

#law and order svu #svu #law and order #law and order special victims unit #law and order organized crime #law and order spoilers #spoilers

[itlivesproject]

here is the abel simp anon ILW FINALE thought dump (part 2! covers from when we play as devon until as we play as rowan)

2 months later? damn

NOW PLAYING AS DEVON??????? I HAD TO PUT THE GAME DOWN JUST TO GASP

….the memorial? oh dear grab the tissues

WE SAVED EVERY POSSIBLE SURVIVOR LET’S GO

connor is back and i am just as in love with him as ever

“Besides, you know how great a couple she and Abel make. I'm sure they're both doing great together.” i think i actually just squeaked

YOU CAN’T REMIND ME OF MAYOR GREEN.. AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO HER ???

and janie :(

loha… she deserved so much better :(

and finally, jessica, the start of it all (whose cg remains to be one of the best things i’ve ever seen in my life)

lincoln giving ratty matty’s money to a nonprofit for DA, that’s our guy!!!!!

i think lincoln aquino is a beautiful name! much better than the ties to the mcquoid name, i’m happy for him<3

amalia and jocelyn being besties? impeccable friendship

AND THE CURE IS WORKING! I’M SO HAPPY FOR THEM ALL

and amalia’s school record are fixed ??? THAT’S MY GIRL!!! SHE’S GONNA BE THE BEST LAWYER THIS WORLD HAS EVER SEEN

ELLIOT AND ROBBIE!!!!

harper and tom being the cutest for 1 minute straight

omg devon and harper having a handshake?? besties confirmed

CONNOR AND NOAH MY LOVES

someone pay for connor’s therapy PLEASE he will need bucket-loads of it at this point

THE COPS DROPPED NOAH’S INVESTIGATION?? MY BOY!! HE IS FREE!!!

“you know you can stay here for as long as you need” CONNOR AND NOAH ARE BEST FRIENDS CANONICALLY BECAUSE I SAY SO

noah’s mother hate club ‼️

sunny and luis deserve every happiness this world has to offer

ava thinking that being possessed was cool is so on brand😭

“Also, you need therapy.” dan keepin things real

the green siblings have my whole heart

CONNOR DIRTY THIRTY???????????? this is truly the best possible ending.

new music track????

“I love you when you're teasing me, I love you when we fight. love you when you're covered in blood or monster guts.” “Connor tells you these words every morning when you wake up, and every night when he goes to bed, but somehow, it always manages to feel like it's the first time he's said them.” he is the only man to ever exist. (alongside abel of course)

also connor, strong disagree with the chocolate in the fridge thing

STOP IT !???? PROPOSAL ???!?????? I STOOD UP. I WAS SAT DOWN AND I HAD TO STAND UP.

YES. HELL YES. MARRIAGE?!!

“Come on, sweetheart. Marry me?” WELL HOW THE HELL DO I SAY NO TO THAT???

i am grinning like a FOOL

“Your heart lifts to your throat as you examine the ring. It's so detailed, so personal. Leaves, like the forest around you, the forest you fell in love in. Your initials carved into the bottom. A diamond like you've always wanted.” i think i just died and went to heaven. HE IS THE CUTEST MAN EVER STOP IT

AND HE MADE IT HIMSELF? why don’t men like him actually exist.

i am now sat back down but i will stand back up if i need to. that is a threat.

THERES MORE?

“It's a house. With a yard for a dog, and enough rooms for guests and offices, and an address that doesn't confuse delivery drivers. It looks happy. And it's ours, if you want it.” the only reason i am not crying rn is because i am positively overwhelmed

i could literally quote all of his dialogue because it is all so incredible but i’m going to stop because this is long enough as it is😭

“God, you're so put together and capable. It's hot.” devon keeping it real

“Sweetheart, I love you, but all my lines work on you.” i said i would stop quoting connor and i lied, i just love him so much

“It’s no wonder there are deep grooves in the paint” YOU DIDN’T

for the one and only connor dirty thirty…. you guys nailed it (😏) also fun fact, if you remember getting as ask right at the very start of the project asking if connor green was in it and if we could bang him… that was me😳

“He wraps his arms around you, and it feels like coming home” ok it’s like you’re TRYING to get me to tear up now

(continued in part 3!)

-abel simp anon🤍

PART TWO

#ask #anon #mod win #abel simp anon

[madeofcc]

CHAPTER 5 : CANDY (part 3/3)

TW : Drugs and Murder mentions

Main page/ Previous / Next

[TRANSCRIPT]

CANDY IS WATCHING HILL HOUSE ON SIMSFLIX BUT SHE RECEIVES A CALL;

??? : DJ Candy !!!

CAN : Speaking … Who's this ?

??? : Where the fuck are you bitch ?! Everyone's waiting for you girl !

CAN : Jamelia ! You scared the shit out of me girl !

JAM : I better did ! Listen, if you don't arrive in the next 15 minutes, they're done with your blonde asian ass okay ? And don't count on me to be your manager anymore if you drop me once again !

CAN : Okay okay ! Fine … Let me find my cigarets and my pad and I'll be here in what ? 20 ?

JAM : You better not be late bitch ! Anyway, text me when you arrive, I'll get your VIP pass. This club is so bourgeois !

CAN : Ahahahaha !!! You know awefull kids make the best audience …

JAM : Oh and by the way … I have a bad news for you ...

CAN : Don't tell me they arrest my coke dealer once again

JAM : Naaah, Elliot is fine ! But the club made some posters and flyers we didn't know about

CAN : And if you're telling me this it's because … ?

JAM : They used the back shot photo

CAN : Oh hell no ! I hated this photoshoot ! Remember how creepy was the session ?

JAM : I remember … My lawyer as well honey ! Anyway, you'll better catch the next subway as soon as we hang up okay

CANDY IS LAUGHING BUT QUICKLY GETS HER ATTENTION ON TV AS WE HEARD SOME NEWS COME FROM BRITECHESTER ;

CALLIA : Sad news today as we hear the death of a young student at Britchester university. We don't have many details yet except that it's a young woman, a student of the university, who got hit by a bus. Some witnesses claim that they saw her appear from nowhere in the middle of the road ...

CANDY REMEMBER GWENDOLINE

CAN : I have to go ! See you in a sec !

JAM : You better – bip

CANDY HANG UP AND STARTS CALLING YUKI

YUK : Hey, I'm not available right now so fuck off or leave a message

CAN : Damn it …

#Drug mention TW #murder mention TW #Another Side #Another Side Hollow Creek #ASHC #ASHC CHAP 5 #ts4 story #sims4 story #simblreen story #enjoy #Candy Behr #you're going to love Jamelia :) #next chapter will be long and wild #also the reporter is Callia #the redhair girl who was invading our main page remember ?

[likeswallowstosea]

“ everything’s gonna be okay, i promise. just tell me where you are, okay? and i’ll come and get you right this second. “ ( 👀at Leo showing concern/affection ok )

“Everything's not fine, if I wanted to hear everything is fine I would have called Jamie.” Ches shouts into the phone, trying to tune out the music from the club. Okay, maybe calling Leo from the girls bathroom while high on ecstasy wasn’t her best move but she couldn’t go to Zander or Elliot. Zander would flip, and Elliot? The tears start to fall harder at the thought of how upset he’d be about this. He’d worry, and sure - he’d probably be right to be but still. “I’m hiding in the lady’s washroom, where the fuck else do you hide when- but you meant an address. Give me a sec, I’ll share my location and meet you outside okay?” She pulls the phone away from her face and pulls up his contract to do just that, and for a brief moment she debates texting Seri to see if maybe she could run off with one more pill for the road. Like one more would help how she was feeling, “I usually feel happy, you know. But that was a very bad touch and I literally want to burn the skin off my body right now. You know I have a lighter, maybe…” No, she didn’t even need Leo to respond to know it was a bad idea but that didn’t make the concept of literally removing her flesh any less appealing. Still, she supposed after she got back home to Elliot he’d cover it up with good touching. Maybe a kiss or two, or three if she was really lucky. Maybe she’d aim for four. She can’t help but smile at that though, four kisses and him holding her until she fell asleep sounded perfect to her. Why was she still here? She turned around, pushing open the bathroom door. “I could walk! I can’t call Zander, he’ll hate me and then he’ll never speak to me again and then Balo will have to choose between us and you’ll pick him, because why wouldn't you and then Collen- I should have just stayed home and taken these, I bet Elli wouldn’t even notice.” Although she’s not sure how much of the ramble he actually heard considering she was trying to shout to him on the phone over club music as she cut through to exit.  Still, despite her urge to go home and forget tonight, there’s something eerily quiet about how the curb is as she tries to figure out which direction is home. “But I bet it’s not that far of a walk! I mean if everything is fine, surely I can walk home by myself. It’s north, right?” She tilts her head, considering it for a moment. It was definitely north, she could do this! 

#celestialxdancers (leo) #celestialxdancers (leo and ches) #(ches) #drugs tw #self harm tw #I swear she’s not going to do shit but better safe then sorry #btw… yeah no home is definitely NOT north and she 100% should not walk jfc Ches #celestialxdancers

[miss-bridgerton]

My thoughts on Euphoria so far:

I hate to say it but I am really disappointed with S2 so far. The cinematography, the symbolism, the acting is all amazing. But the plots are so mediocre and won’t move forward. Each episode has been the same exact thing that I am genuinely getting sick of it. Like I’m not even excited or eagerly awaiting for next Sunday because I’m tired of the same plot over & over. And it’s not even the fact that we got NO fexi scenes again… which is yes, really upsetting. But each characters plot this season could have been explored and done SO well but instead it’s all falling flat.

Like Kat. She has like nothing going on. I do like that she is questioning her relationship with Ethan because it’s normal to be in a “healthy” relationship but just not feeling it with them. And I do like that she is feeling not “confident” because that’s a very real thing we all feel at times. But thats literally it. Like did we forget that Kat is a fantastic writer? She could join some kind of writing club, or even help Lexi with her play!

Don’t even get me started with Lexi. Her episode was great, don’t get me wrong. But thats it. She was moving so well into the spotlight and it’s like she’s right back in the background again. I know we have four more episodes & we haven’t seen the play yet, so hopefully this will change. But the whole flirting with Fezco thing feels like it was all for nothing. I’m starting to believe Sam only did that was to show that someone can be interested in Lexi & he has no plans of them actually getting together. Maybe (depending on how the season ends) he will plan for them to get together in S3 after seeing how much we all love them together?

The whole Maddy/Cassie/Nate thing… it’s being strung along way too much now. Like we get it. This whole plot hasn’t moved at all in the last four episodes. It’s basically at a standstill. I don’t like this plot but I feel like it could’ve been done better. I feel like Maddy was growing a lot & I feel like she’s right back to where she was after this latest episode. And Cassie is going literally nuts all for Nate? She said it herself, he’s toxic. I just don’t understand the reasoning for her to get so obsessed. Like I would understand her hooking up with him because she feels very low self esteem, but it’s been strung out too long now to actually understand it now.

The only thing that seems to be moving each episode is the whole Rue/Jules/Elliot thing which to be honest I don’t really care too much about. Jules especially doesn’t seem like herself. The choices she’s made the last episode was so wildly out of character. It’s like Sam wants us to hate her apparently. I’m not sure how we as an audience can keep rooting for them anymore, but who knows, maybe that was his intention.

If you have any thoughts please drop them! I’d love to hear what you guys think so far & what would you do differently for the characters this season??

#euphoria #euphoria spoilers #Zendaya #lexi howard #fezco #jules vaughn #Maddy Perez #cassie howard #Nate jacobs

[dreamylyfe-x]

Your trevor meta is making me realize how weird it is that the writers and cast were so insistent that mickey wasn't coming back, because I don't think theyve ever really known what to do with ian's story without him. They put him in these lukewarm relationships and tell us they're so much better and healthier, but then have ian straight up admit that he still loves mickey and nobody else has made him feel the same way. How do they set that up and then have him go back to trevor? They set up ian moving on with "I'm not that person anymore" and follow up with season 8. It's like okay...who he is now is gay Jesus? Lmao. He's always been the shows forgotten middle child and after they wrote mickey off "for good" they could have taken him in a million directions but they chose one so shitty it basically made cam leave lmao. Sometimes it feels like fan insistence kind of forced mickey back but in actuality, the seasons where he's gone just hammer home that he was always the inevitable end to ian's story. So bizarre how little the showrunners understand their own story sometimes.

Ok. I’m going to be a little more Doylist here than I usually am, because we’re talking about what the writers are thinking. And I’m also going to take this opportunity to share this fascinating article from the AV Club in 2016: When Fan Engagement Goes Wrong. Everyone beware, it contains significant spoilers for The 100. But it’s also largely about Gallavich, the fact that online promotion of Shameless leaned hard into the popularity of the couple, and were up against it when Noel left. I’ll quote: 

“[Supervising Producer Shelia] Callaghan’s choice to be honest and straightforward when engaging with fans is admirable, and yet also on some level futile. She can’t tell them exactly why Fisher chose to leave, she is (logically) unwilling to spoil future storylines outright, and she can only speak her own mind as part of a collaborative process over which she holds only some influence. So while many fans respect her effort to maintain the connection to this now marginalized community, others attack, reinforcing that attempting to manage these situations is a full-time job that no one has been properly trained for.” 

This article links some tweets and the one I find the most interesting is this one:

“But the actor left.  So...what to do? Have them just break up?? Felt way less true to me than a forced separation!” 

That tweet is from Krista Vernoff, who wanted to convey that they tried really hard to come up with what they do with Ian now that he’d lost Mickey. And I’m sure they did try really hard. And.... People hated it. Mostly. 

Here’s what I think, based on what I’ve read and the interviews I’ve seen, on deleted tweets and Tumblr rumours and YouTube clips: The show didn’t want Mickey to leave the canvas. At all. Noel wanted more money. The show could not come up with both that money and the money they needed for everyone else. The show let him go. And hoped they could solve the creative problem their budgetary problem had dumped in their lap. 

I actually think Ian’s story in season six is decent. I miss Mickey, of course. I find the last scene with him really painful -- but it’s not painful because the show is trying to diminish him. They write and then cut together a scene where Mickey is DEMONSTRATIVELY still deeply in love with Ian. He’s carved his name in his chest. He is looking at Ian like he’s the most beautiful creature ever given breath. And Ian can barely meet his gaze. They tell us Mickey is being sent away for 16 years but when we see the last of Mickey Milkovich in season six I think “God, this is so sad. They love each other so much and this is so fucked up.” 

I do NOT think “We are NEVER EVER EVER getting back together.” 

The show always knew what it had with Ian and Mickey. They leaned into it promotionally. They gave meaty storylines to the characters, particularly given that Ian was the fourth lead on a family dramedy built around six children. John Wells replaced Aaron Sorkin on The West Wing. He knows how hard it is to follow a phenomenon. 

The more I think about it, honestly? I don’t think they tried. I think they knew that they couldn’t bring in Mickey Milkovich, the sequel in season six, so they brought in Caleb. And maybe they meant for him to be a LITTLE more viable than he was... but I think there’s a pretty good chance they were just throwing something at the wall to see if it stuck, while being fully aware that the important storyline in season six was getting Ian from despair to a fulfilling career. Caleb was just there as a catalyst. 

Season seven if more interesting, because Trevor is brought on and it’s very much... “Hey, let’s do something new. Let’s bring on a transmasc character and put him into a relationship with Ian and explore those complications.” 

“Great! Put it up on the board!” 

“Also. Let’s call Noel Fisher’s people and see what we can work out because we can do better with Mickey’s send off and people are yelling at me on the street about it.” 

Quite honestly, these are not equal tasks for his writer’s room. You have one story -- Create a whole ass new character. The only thing we know is that he’s trans. Figure out the romance from there. You have six episodes to get them together as an established couple. 

Then: Bring back the well-established and beloved character for an epic romantic two-episode arc where he reunites with his true love and they run away together and then ultimately realize it cannot be, and say goodbye and it all feels like I Will Always Love You should be playing in the background. They actors worked together for five years. They have a great professional partnership. They like working together. They have a ton of history so there’s lots of juicy subtext. The longing and sexual tension comes pre-established. See what you can do. 

HOW do you make both those things work out so that they are equal? You need lightening to strike. And that already happened on How I Met Your Mother. They squandered their good luck and now there is none left for Shameless. I do not disparage Elliot Fletcher at all when I say that for Trevor and Ian to really work he’d have had to have come with scorching chemistry with Cam, rich material that really gave them a good opportunity to build rapport between the characters, and A wizard standing by to cast spells in the wings. They had SIX episodes, a pretty average connection between the actors, and the “these are the LGBTQ+ people in your neighbourhood” scene. 

I just can’t believe that someone with as many years of TV writing under his belt as John Wells has expected that to work. He hoped the Trevor story might be good, and was certainly going to break some ground in terms of telling trans stories. And the Mickey story was going to be the highlight, because he knew people wanted it and he also knew that they’d had something pretty special to start with. Which is why people were yelling at him at Comic-Con. I DO think he hoped it might placate fans a bit. But... he wasn’t going to completely close the door on Mickey this time, either. 

So... I don’t really think the show every intended to write Mickey off “for good”. I think they wrote him off “for now, and we’ll see what happens...” -- and they did that with Karen, Shelia, Jody, Steve and Fiona, too. They only brought a few of those people back... They brought Mickey back three times. They ended Gallavich FOUR times. Noel is in ever season except eight. I don’t think they wanted Mickey gone -- but I KNOW the fans also made it pretty hard for them not to know his value, so absolutely I think that played a role. But when you create something people love and you get that lightening in a bottle like they did with this story, I think writers are always going to be excited to get that back. They like praise! They like people to be excited about their show. And Gallavich was always one of the things that got people excited about Shameless. 

I think they also wanted Gay Jesus to be a great story. But that’s why the lightening in the bottle is so valuable. You can’t just get it anywhere. 

#asks #I hope this answered the question #I am honestly so interested in the behind-the-scenes efforts to make season 7 work #and I do think they wanted Gay Jesus to be a great story #and instead... Cam quit #because no #writing is hard #shameless season 7 #shameless season 6 #shameless season 8 #shameless without mickey #thanks for asking! #God I hope that was an answer #Gallavich meta

[bamfdaddio]

X-Men Abridged: 1981 - the Body-Swap

The X-Men, those body-swapping mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. We’ve been untangling that history for a while, but sometimes, you really want a more in-depth look. Interested? Then read the (un)Abridged X-Men!

(Uncanny X-Men 151 - 152) - by Chris Claremont and Josef Rubinstein

Emma Frost and her frenemy Ororo Munroe have not been getting along! One fateful evening, as the two quibble away, they mysteriously switch bodies and minds. Talk about your Freaky Friday! What lessons will they learn, walking a mile in one another’s shoes? And will they be able to switch back, or will they stay in each other’s bodies forever? Mutant Monday, coming soon to a cinema near you. Starring: Elizabeth Banks, Angela Bassett and Elliot Page. (PG-13)

For a moment, we’re in a proper period drama: a letter delivers ill tidings!

I love that Kitty’s parents are so self-involved that it took them A WHOLE YEAR to realize that it’s weird that Kitty is the only non-adult attending the Xavier Institute.

I can only assume the mailman interrupted a pool party of some kind? Or a communal shower? I get why Kurt would not swim a lot - all that fur - but did Scott wear that while they were splashing around? Was it a beach volleyball competition where one half got to wear swimsuits and the other half superhero costumes? Most importantly, was Scott’s costume always this tight?

Not that I’m complaining, mind you.

The awful thing is that Kitty’s parents are transferring her to the Massachusetts Academy, not realizing that headmistress Emma Frost is, in fact, a terrible human being. Charles, uncharacteristically, says that changing their minds telepathically is a line he does not cross (any more) and half the viewing audience bursts out in laughter. More importantly, last they saw Emma, she was kind of dead-by-Phoenix, so it might be better there this time? Kitty does a Classic Teenage Stomp-Off and Storm comes to comfort her. Kitty cries that life is unfair (“My parents are only doing this because they’re splitting up”) and Ororo tells her that yes, life is unfair. You just gotta roll with the punches as best you can.

To be fair, bald men are technically all cheek, so it doesn’t matter where you kiss them.

While I enjoy the relationship Kitty has with the other X-Men (Scott gave her a compliment! Logan told her his name!), especially the mother-daughter-bond she shares with Ororo, the whole Piotr-thing always gives me pause. Even if we’re being very generous with age, Kitty is, what? 14 going on 15? And Piotr is… 19? At best? I get why Kitty would have a crush on him: he’s a gentle hunky giant: at fifteen, my teenage ass would have felt the exact same viz-a-viz Colossus’ upper arms. The fact that Piotr reciprocates feels skeevy, though, especially because they’re always treated like star-crossed idiots these days.

Skee-vy.

Ororo drives Kitty to Massachusetts, where her young ward is greeted by someone named Muffy and whisked away for orientation. All seems well. Ororo stands in a parlour, surveying the grounds and considering that they should have fought harder for Kitty. Still, nothing seems too wrong just yet: this Academy just seems very preppy.

Not-at-all-dead Emma takes her cue and jumps out, saying (essentially): “Surprise motherfucker.”

There’s a flash of light, and then...

I’m willing to bet that Emma’s EVIL journal has the following to-do-list: - Steal Storm’s body. - Experiment with her powers. - See how good Storm looks in white. (Leather? Fur?! Both!??) - REWARD: Smoke break.

I wonder if Emma’s plan hinged on being able to body-swap with Storm, or whether any X-Man would have sufficed. Was her original target Xavier? Cyclops? What if one of Kitty’s parents had brought her to Massachusetts, would she have taken Kitty instead?

In a locked cell, Storm wakes up in Emma’s body and is horrified. I wonder why Emma didn’t take any more precautions. Couldn’t the guy who made the freaky friday-gizmo also make a power dampener to nullify not!Emma’s telepathic abilities? Or did Emma count on her victim being so utterly incapacitated by her mind-powers that they’d be driven mad? (This would actually tie in with some of Emma’s later-revealed history: when her powers first emerged, she also got locked away in a padded room because of her madness.)

Emma is not wrong, by the way: Storm can’t get a handle on Emma’s powers. What follows is possibly the sweetest moment in an arc filled with sweet moments:

This arc isn’t drawn by any of the regulars - not Byrne, not Cockrum - but Josef Rubinstein brings his own kind of panache to the pages. I love the way he draws women’s faces: in a story that’s all about women, their faces are actually distinguishable. Kudoz.

Emma, meanwhile, coordinates with Sebastian Shaw to execute the second part of their two-pronged attack on the X-Men. They both laugh evilly in their phones while the mansion is attacked by Sentinels! These androids take out Cyclops and Xavier with some sleeping gas and knock out Nightcrawler, but the rest of the X-Men manage to trounce these robots. Then ‘Storm’ appears! She zaps the rest of the X-Men (and Amanda Sefton), successfully finishing their master-plan.

It’s not entirely clear what the Hellfire Club wants with the X-Men this time, but I’m assuming it’s more experimentation to improve the sentinels? Eh, doesn’t matter! Nefarious Hellfire Club is nefarious.

The real Storm, meanwhile, comes to claim Kitty, forgetting that she looks like the one and only Emma Frost. Kitty spooks and Storm accidentally reaches out, knocking her out telepathically. Whoops! Storm takes Kitty and flees in a car, while Emma gives chase. (How dare Ororo run off with her body, which is absolutely the kind of hypocritical hilariousness we all love Emma for.)

Kitty awakens and jumps from the car, causing Storm to swerve and...

JETSTREAM!? Speaking of which, where are the Hellions in all of this?

Kitty sees that an unconscious ‘Emma’ is about to burn to a tender and moist little crisp and she is faced with the hero’s dilemma: would you save a villain that would never save you?

Emma, meanwhile, has realized the downside to body-swapping: somebody else gets to run around with your body too. Shaw, of all people, talks her down from her anger.

You can’t just introduce a persona exchange gun to the plot WITHOUT EXPLAINING WHERE THE FUCK YOU GOT IT FROM.

My favorite detail is that Emma keeps calling Kitty brat, like she’s some sort of Pokémon-villain.

Kitty, meanwhile, has saved ‘Emma’ and tied her up with a special knot. Storm tries to convince Kitty, going for the “ask me something only Storm would know”, but Kitty’s all: “Duh, you’re a telepath.” Ororo insists, but the thing that clinches it is when she breaks free of her ties without breaking a sweat. That knot was taught to Kitty by Ororo and she’d be the only one who knew how to break out of it.

Storm and Kitty recruit Stevie Hunter to come pick them up and during the ride, Storm-being-angry-mother!Storm convinces Kitty more than anything else:

After all, Storm was voted most likely to say: “If you don’t stop this nonsense immediately, I will turn this Blackbird around, so help me God!”

Ororo and Kitty sneak inside. Ororo even uses Emma’s telepathy to help her pick a lock after phasing through a door. (Kind of funny: Kitty’s still such a neophyte that she can’t even phase with anyone else yet.) Emma, meanwhile, taunts the captured X-Men, presenting herself as the new white queen:

Anybody feel the inclination to point out that the Hellfire Club did this exact same thing last year, except then they tried it with a redhead?

I secretly suspect that the Hellfire Club’s plots always revolve around seducing X-Men to their side and dressing them up in sexy lingerie. (Which: fair.) There’s also a subplot where the guys Wolverine cut apart last year want to exact revenge on him for being made bionic, but eh. We’ll start paying attention to them when they become actual Reavers.

Kitty phases through the locks of the X-Men, freeing them, and a kerfuffle ensues. Emma starts using Storm’s powers, but they grow out of control. Colossus tosses Shaw out of the window - which should just be company policy, really: all Shaws should be defenestrated - where he’s promptly hit by a rogue thunderbolt.

When he doesn’t get up, Emma starts to lose it. The weather goes wild. Storm intervenes, using her telepathic power to help calm down Emma (and the raging storm), but she also manages to get a hold of the swap-gun. There’s a zap, and with a satisfied sigh, the status-quo is restored again.

My favorite implication is that, apparently, Emma decides which school Kitty attends and not her parents.

While this little arc is neither the most iconic nor the most profound of 1981 -- those would be Days of Future Past and I, Magneto, respectively -- I still love this for a couple of reasons.

As a lover of Freaky Friday, 17 Again and the new Jumanji-film, I just have a soft spot for body swap plots. (Hi Psylocke!)

It focuses on the Xavier Institute as a school, planting seeds for the upcoming New Mutants.

It is very female-driven without beating you over the head with it. (Looking at you, Birds of Prey.)

It has three definitive main characters, who all get fleshed out in fun and interesting ways. It starts the trend of robbing Ororo of some of her powers and tossing her into against-the-odds circumstances, only for her to come out on top.

It solidifies the Storm/Kitty mother/daughter (or older/younger sibling) dynamic. Kitty is a believable teenager when it comes to Storm - clever and kind, but also looking for answers and prone to rash decisions - and I love how much they care for each other.

Jean/Storm-friendship-callback, yay!

Emma gets fleshed out as a villain. Resourceful and petty, powerful and vain. It’s no wonder she’s one of the break-out antagonists of the X-Men, because, like Magneto, Claremont is not afraid of giving her depth. Arguably, she is the most three-dimensional of the Hellfire Club at this point.

Yay! And fuck completely sensible plots, if you don’t know what to do with your plot, just introduce a random persona exchange gun. Let’s use it on Xavier and Legion in Way of X next!

#x-men abridged #abridged x-men #x-men #storm #professor x #kitty pryde #uncanny x-men #emma frost #cyclops #nightcrawler #stevie hunter #colossus #sebastian shaw

[enthusiasticharry]

The Secrets You Keep

summary: you're a stripper, and you meet Harry off shift. what happens when he finds out?

request: hiiii would you be able to do something like stripper y/n? not where they meet at the club or anything but something natural like at a cafe or something but she keeps it from him bc she thinks he’ll leave her? then he has a guys night at the strip club and sees her perform? but he loves it and she’s a bit embarrassed? idk but that kinda vibe if ur up for it! X

word count: 8.3k words of fluff, smut and angst if you squint (and i really mean squint) also not proofread, sorry! 

masterlist    |    asks

It never occurred to you that once you left full time education you’d end up becoming a stripper. It wasn’t the occupation you had envisioned for yourself, but it was the one that paid the best money and even though it shouldn’t be — money was the thing that you needed the most. You lived in a small, one bedroom flat that you shared with your Grandma who had no income and little pension meaning that you was the only source of income for the two of you. Obviously it was hard upon you, but your Grandma had done so much for you when you were younger that you wanted to help her as much as you possibly could. Granted, finding a job as an eighteen year old that was enough to help pay the bills and for the treatment your Grandmother needed wasn’t the easiest, and that was how you stumbled across the club and the jobs there. Your Grandma didn’t know how you received your income, and you planned to keep it that way for as long as you physically could. 

“Have you got any private dances today?” Jocelyn, also known as Sapphire amongst the people in the club, asked as she started fixing her makeup in the mirror next to yours. 

“I don’t know.” You sighed, spraying a small amount of hairspray upon your curls, “I haven’t spoken to Elliot yet.” 

“Apparently some big shot businessmen are coming in tomorrow.” Ruby adds from the other side of you, applying a lipstick that matched her name to her lips. 

“Ugh.” Sapphire groaned, “That means old men with small dicks wanking to us instead of being with their probably very lovely, loving wives at home.” 

“They lust after the taboo.” You add, applying a small amount of lipgloss to your lips, “They want what they can’t have, and brag when they get it.” 

“They have money though.” Ruby shrugged, “Haven’t had many tips this week. I’d probably do anything for a couple hundred quid tomorrow.” 

“Not anything Ruby.” You turn to look at her, shaking your head at the younger girl, “Stand your ground. Don’t let them take advantage of you.” 

“I won’t.” She smiled, “I learnt from the best.” 

“And don’t you forget it.” 

As a fresh eighteen year old, just as Ruby was now, you could’ve only hoped for someone to help you and guide you through the trails and tribulations you endured at the club. That’s why you sort of took the younger girl under your wing and helped her as much as possible. 

It wasn’t a lot. Granted, with what they did the majority of it was on their own upon the stage or in a private dance but you wanted to make sure she had small tips to help her handle herself in any situation that could occur and that she someone to talk to if she ever needed it. 

“Are you working tomorrow, Emerald?” Emerald was your stage name. 

“No.” You sigh happily, “It’s my day off.” 

“Enjoy yourself, you deserve it.” Ruby smiled. 

You certainly did. 

The next morning, after helping your Grandma get ready and to the hospital, you make your way towards the small café you usually went to during your Grandmother’s chemo sessions. They usually lasted around three hours, and whilst you offered to stay with her, she usually forced you to leave and spend some time on your own, claiming she didn’t want you to see her at her worst.

The spring days had just started to warm up, so you dressed yourself in a summer dress you had picked up for cheap at a charity shop. You carried your tote bag with your book in over your shoulder as you pushed past the people on the street.

It wasn’t usually this busy, and looking around you saw no free tables but a few free chairs dotted around. Your favourite table, tucked away in the far right corner by the window had been taken by a man sat reading, just as you would’ve been. You toy back and forth with the idea of going to sit over there as you walk over to the counter. 

You order your usual, a peach iced tea, and wait for the kind barista to make it. Your free days, usually, landed sporadically. They normally occurred when your grandmother either had chemo or a hospital appointment and that’s only because she can sometimes be really ill after them and needed you to look after her. Even though Elliot was not a good person by any means, he understood your situation and did help as little as he could. 

“Excuse me.” The man looked up from this book at you, “Is this seat taken?” 

“Uh. . .” 

“It’s fine if it’s not!” Your quick to add, “There’s just no other seats.” 

“No.” Your smile falters, “No! I mean that the seats not taken. It’s yours.” 

“Thank you.” You drop your tote bag down on the floor, holding your hand out to the man, “I’m YN.” 

“Harry.” He shakes your outstretched hand. 

There was something oddly familiar about him, but you couldn’t quite place your finger on why. He dressed quite casually, a punny t-shirt that said something about health on it and you didn’t want to seem too weird and bend down to look at what he had on his bottom half but you suspected it was something just as interesting. 

You take your book out of your bag and place it on the table in front of you, flicking through the pages until you found the page you had left off at. 

As a child you loved to read. Your grandmother always read you a bedtime story before bed and it lead to English being your best subject at school. Whether it be the creative writing aspect, or the analytic — you were just good at it. It was your highest grade at GCSE, an A, and your highest grade at A Level, a B.

You didn’t exchange any more words with Harry the entire time you were there. Periodically you looked up at him, and somewhere deep down you hoped that he did the same for you but you couldn’t be too sure. The book that he was reading seemed interesting enough, something about watermelon, you had noticed. You had a slight suspicion that it wasn’t about watermelon but you could never be too sure you supposed. 

A whine almost escaped your lips when you realised that you had to go pick up your Grandmother and your book had just gotten interesting. That was the problem when you read, you could sit and do it for hours and not even look up. It was something so interesting to you that you could immerse yourself in a world different to the one you lived in and slip out of reality for however long and return back to normal as though nothing had happened. 

“Thank you for letting me sit here.” You smile as you pack your bag up, “Goodbye.” 

“Bye.” 

You left feeling sort of fuzzy inside. You hadn’t spoken to the man at all really, but he was kind and certainly handsome with his tousled brown hair and gentle smile. That was probably going to be the last time that you saw him, and you probably should’ve asked for his number at least but you didn’t and that was why you walked away with him laying heavy upon your mind.

The next day, you wanted nothing more than to leave in the middle of your shift and curl up on the sofa. Instead, you were stood in a private room in the back of the club swirling your hips for a man sat upon a chair in the middle. 

“You’re fucking fit.” He moans, and you almost throw up in your mouth. 

“Thank you.” 

You move yourself so you’re hovered over his lap, twisting your hips to beat of the sultry song spilling out of the speakers. If you didn’t need the money, or have a bills to pay you certainly wouldn’t be doing this. 

“Fucking sort.” That’s when his hand drops down upon your behind, squeezing the flesh harshly. 

You stand up, flipping around so that you’re looking at him, “Hands off.” 

“Babe.” He throws his head back, “C’mon I’ve paid bags for this dance.” 

“And you pay for a dance, and the rules state no touching.” 

He holds his hands up in surrender, “I’m sorry. Won’t happen again, babe.” 

“Better not.” 

It does, and that’s when you get up and leave. He still has to pay, which is a plus but it just isn’t the best feeling. The job you do isn’t one that people necessarily respect you for, but there are rules in place to help with that. You and the other dancers within the club were human beings and deserved the rights that any other person has. 

“You okay?” Ruby presses her hand to your shoulder as you powder your under-eyes, “I heard he was touching.” 

“Yeah.” You smile at her through the mirror, “Started behind and they he just full on groped me.” 

“Men are pigs.” 

“I second that statement.” You laugh, “But you know what they’ll say.” 

“That we teased and antagonised them to do it.”

Throwing her a deadpan look, you nod. It was something that you had dealt with for the past six years of your life and even though you did hate it and wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you up every time it happened — you had gotten used to it. 

“Did you have a nice day off yesterday?” 

“I did thank you.” You smile, “Read a bit. Spent some time with my Grandma.” 

“Sounds lovely.” Her face then twists into one that you can’t quite pinpoint, “You didn’t miss much here.” 

“The businessmen not up too much?” 

“No they paid well.” She nodded, “We just had to watch them wank their micropenises at us.” 

You curl your nose up at the thought, “That sounds pleasant.” 

“Totally.” She snorts. 

“Emerald. Ruby.” Elliot sticks his head into the room, “Get your asses back out there.” 

Ruby rolls her eyes and you laugh. Your job certainly wasn’t your favourite but some of the people around you made it more pleasant.

Two weeks later you find yourself sat in the corner of the café down the road from the hospital, your book open in front of you and a peppermint tea sat upon the table in a pot. Your Grandmother’s second round of chemo was slowly coming to the end of its stint and even though you wanted nothing more than for her to be back to the epitome of health, you would miss spending time at this small café. 

“Hi.” You lift your head up to see Harry stood there, slightly breathless, “Is this seat taken?” 

“It’s yours.” You smile, watching him drop his book on the table.

This time you could see his entire outfit. A white t-shirt with some writing on that you missed, a floral shirt over the top paired with red corduroy flares. You were right the last time that you met him —he did have an amazing sense of style. You, however, bought whatever was the cheapest or on sale that seemed acceptable to wear in public. 

“How have you been?” 

“I’ve been okay.” You smile, “You?” 

“Good, thanks.” He scratches the base of his neck, “I haven’t seen you in a while.” 

“Oh.” You have to stop yourself from smiling too much, “I only come when my Grandma has an appointment and they’re usually two weeks apart.” 

“Ah.” He nods before his face curls, “I’m sorry if that seemed creepy.” 

“It didn’t.” You can’t help the butterflies that erupt within your stomach, “I just thought I wouldn’t see you again.” 

“Couldn’t let that happen.” Heat rises up your neck as he beams.

“No complaints about that from me.” 

“That’s good.” He rests his hand upon his chest, letting out a deep breath, “Thought I was punching a little over my weight.” 

“You’re not.” You cheeks hurt from smiling, “It’s cute.” 

He looks down at his book. He seemed so shy, as though he had a confidence to talk to people but once they complimented him or something to do with him it completely changed. It was intriguing. He was already nicer to you than most people you’ve met of the opposite sex in your life and you’re let to learn anything about him apart from the fact that he reads Bukowski and likes black coffee — it certainly wasn’t much to go on. 

“How long do we have until you have to go back to your Grandma?” 

“Not long.” You sigh sadly, “I’m sorry.” 

“No, I understand, it’s okay.” He flashes you a small smile, “Can I walk you back to the hospital?” 

You ponder his offer for a second, “Yeah. I’d like that.”

You walk back to the hospital brushing arms with one of the nicest people you’d ever met, and you couldn’t be happier. 

“Has your Grandma been having treatment for long?” 

“It’s her second round.” You explained, “They originally removed the tumour and it went away but it came back. They caught it quickly and she’s back in bay 11 for three hours every two weeks.” 

“I’m sorry.” He sighs, “That must’ve been tough.” 

You shrug, “She’s a fighter, I know she is.” 

“I don’t doubt she is.” He smiles, “She’s got an amazing granddaughter to stay alive for.” 

The walk to the hospital isn’t long enough in your opinion. You speak about a few things, and you learn he does music and that’s when you put two and two together and realise that he’s actually Harry Styles from One Direction. Harry wished he could’ve recorded your reaction when you realised. 

Harry had never met someone like you, and he had met a lot of people in his life. You were sweet, and kind and so gentle but also confident and held yourself in such a strong way that he couldn’t help but want to know you, the real you. 

“This is it.” You stop in front of the entrance closest to the chemo ward, “Thank you for walking me.” 

“It’s no problem.” He smiles, “I hope this doesn’t sound too weird, but can I get your number?” 

“Uh. . . yeah.” 

“Great.” He beams, “At least now I won’t have to hope you show up at the café.” 

You swear you felt your heart burst. 

During your shift a couple of weeks later, you don’t notice your phone light up a message. You actually don’t notice at all until you arrived home that night. You had already checked on your Grandma, who was sound asleep in bed, and that’s when you allowed yourself to drop down upon the sofa with a sigh. 

Seeing an unknown number pop up on your screen at first had confused you, but once you had looked further into it, your palms started sweating. 

Hi YN. It’s Harry. I know it’s been a while but I’ve been trying to figure out what to say. I hope you and your Grandma are well. 

Your heart starts to beat faster. The message you had awaited for weeks was here and you had no idea how to act, never mind what too reply back with. The only thing that spiralled around within your mind was that he had been thinking about you. 

In your head, you imagined him pacing around in his large house trying to figure out what to send you, just like they do in the movies. You at least hoped that was what he had been doing over the past couple of weeks. 

Hi Harry! It’s lovely to hear from you, sorry it’s late. I’m okay, Grandma’s getting there. How are you? 

You throw your phone down on the sofa next to you, trying not to giggle like you did as a schoolgirl whenever you were messaging boys. You nearly cried whenever you phone ran out of credit and you’d end up having to run to the store to get a top up in the morning with your spending money and explaining to them what had happened. You were thankful that your upgrade didn’t need that. 

I’m okay. Glad to hear about your Grandma. I know this is probably really weird and totally out of the blue, but are you free this weekend? I’m leaving next week for a little while and I really want to see you before I do. 

In your head, you ignore the end of the message about him leaving and focus on the fact that he wants to see you. Harry Styles wants to see you. You hoped it was a date, everything pointed it to be a date but you didn’t want get too ahead of yourself. 

You haven’t had a boyfriend since your first year of Sixth Form, and the first date you were going on since then was going to be with Harry Styles of all people. 

If you pull some strings, work an extra long shift on Saturday and please some of Elliot’s special clients — you may be able to get Friday night off. It was a maybe, but over the next two days you could make it a yes. You hoped that you could make it a yes. 

You’ve never, in your six years of working at the club, missed any of your shifts for anything other than your Grandma suddenly falling ill, and those were on rare occasions. You certainly deserved this day off.

I’ll have to check with my boss but I think I could do Friday night? If that’s not a problem for you. 

You have to bite your lip to stop yourself from internally freaking out. 

Sounds perfect. How about I pick you up at 8? 

You wince. It wasn’t as though your were embarrassed of where you lived because you weren’t. You’ve worked hard to be able to pay for the flat and everything in it but there was something about showing it to someone who you’ve only just met and had no intention of explaining your situation to wasn’t on the top of your priority list. 

Is there any chance I could meet you somewhere? 

Of course. Where do you fancy eating? Italian? Thai? 

Italian sounds good. 

Great. I’ll send you details over. 

Thank you :) 

See you then, YN. Sweet dreams. 

Night, Harry. 

You slept well that night. 

“I just don’t think I can spare you Friday.” Elliot sighs, “I’m sorry YN.” 

You have to stop yourself from wanting to cry. You don’t use up all your holiday days, and you work way more than you should or that you’re paid for but you don’t complain and you just get on with it. The one time you ask for a shift off, his stubborn ass says that he cant do it. 

“Please, Elliot.” You sign, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear, “I just need this day off.” 

“And I need my best girl on the floor. Need the best of the best.” 

“There are plenty of other better girls than me working here.” 

He shakes his head, “You’re the favourite, YN. Need you to be there.” 

“Elliot.” You sigh, leaning forward in the uncomfortable seat you were sat in, “I’ve worked for you for six years and I’ve never asked for a day off like this before.” 

“Yeah but—”

“—and! I’ve never asked for a day off apart from going to the hospital and you know that.” 

“I couldn’t exactly say no to you—”

“I’ve worked every shift you’ve ever asked me to, covered for people when you need it.” 

“Stop it!” He holds his hand up to silence you, “Just shut up for a second.” 

You clamp your lips shut. If you didn’t need to stay on his good side to get Friday off you probably would’ve said something about how rude he was being. He’d always been rude, but he paid you and the rest of the girls so you all chose to ignore it. 

He ponders, and you know the cogs are turning within his brain as he scrolls through his laptop, typing a few things. He takes his glasses off his face and drops them dramatically down on the table in front of him. 

“Ruby will cover your shift.” 

You let out a sigh of relief, “Thank you!” 

“Don’t be thanking me too quickly.” He points his finger, “I need a favour from you.” 

“Anything. Well not anything.” 

“In a few weeks times there’s a big birthday party coming in.” He explains, “I need you to be the star of the show, do private dances and all the good things like that.” 

“Just that?” You ask, knowing that it could be a trap knowing Elliot’s track record. 

He nods, “Just that.” 

You look at him sceptically, “What’s the catch?” 

“No catch.” He holds his hands up, “A few big names are coming, that’s all. A list celebs that have asked to use the back exit.”

“That’s it?” 

“That’s it.” 

“Let me know the date and I’ll do it.” 

You stand up, happy that you’ve managed to get your shift tomorrow off and that you can go on the date you have been excited for since you met Harry and was introduced to the world with him in it. 

“Have fun at your thing Friday.” 

“Thank you. . .?” 

You don’t think you like Elliot being nice to you. 

Friday night rolled around quickly and you were thankful for that. After helping your Grandma with her own dinner and into bed, you start getting ready. You curl your hair, brushing it out until its in what looks like effortless waves but are actually quite hard waves to achieve. You do natural makeup, something completely different to makeup you usually wear in one of your shifts. You try to keep all of your features soft, different to how you usually look on a day to day basis. You dress in a long white polka-dotted maxi skirt, paired with a thin long-sleeved jumper that would keep you warm due to the ever changing British weather. 

You had done a little bit of research on the restaurant Harry had sent you the address for and learnt that it wasn’t the most expensive restaurant ever, but one that was way out of your price range. It meant that you had to dip into the fund that you keep for occasions where you need a little extra money or you will use in the future when you eventually move out and busy your own place. 

The tube was crammed, seeing as though it was a Friday night and the majority of people were either coming home from work and stating to go out for end of the week drinks. You knew that the club would start to become heaving as the night grew and a part of you was thankful that you didn’t have to work today, and you were given a small break from the hell that is working at a strip club. 

The restaurant, when you arrived, definitely looked fancier than it had online. The bar stood against the corner wall, the right hand side of the restaurant had booths covering the walls whilst stand alone tables scattered around the rest of the room.

You were surprised when you saw Harry, already sat at the booth in the far right corner. He lifted his hand up in an awkward sort of wave and you couldn’t help but beam at him. He had a shirt, an expensive looking white shirt with a yellow and blue jumper over the top. You hand felt so excited to see someone since when your Grandma went into hospital for her tumour being removed and you couldn’t see her for a few days. 

“YN.” He sighs, “Hi.” 

“Hi.” You smile, slipping into the booth across from him. 

“Was starting to think you wasn’t going to show up.” 

“I’m sorry.” You tuck your hair behind your ear, “I underestimated how bust the tube was going to be.” 

You can tell he wants to pry but instead he says, “It’s okay.” 

His nails were painted yellow, a few of them painted lilac as well. There was something so simple about his nails that you just loved, and if it wasn’t weird you probably would’ve stared at them for way too long for it to be acceptable. You knew he had tattoos, and you could see the cross on his hand and the the anchor peaking out from underneath his shirt and you wanted to see more. 

“I like your nails.” You smile, running your own fingers over your own nails underneath the table. 

“Thanks.” A blush creeps up his neck, “I did them last night. Sort of calmed me down, I was quite nervous.” 

“Nervous for what?” 

“This.” He nods, “I haven’t been as nervous for a date in a long time.” 

“You don’t have to be nervous.” 

In your twenty four years of living, you’ve never had someone say that they were nervous to see you. You’ve been nervous to see and do many things in your life and you hoped that somewhere along the line it would’ve been the same for somebody else and yourself but you had the slight suspicion that wasn’t the case. Hearing those words out loud, coming from someone who you’d never expect it too was special, and you were going to keep that for as long as you physically could. 

“I did.” He looks down at the table briefly, “I’ve never liked a girl as much as I like you before.” 

“You don’t really know me.” 

“I’d like to get to know you.” 

That’s what you do. For the rest of the date you don’t stop talking. Even though you’re starving and could eat your fist, it takes you the longest you’ve ever taken to eat your food because of how much you spend it talking. 

You’re just about to dig in to your desert when your body physically halts, “Why didn’t you want me to pick you up?” 

“I, uh, I—”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t what to! I know I can be pretty invasive sometimes.” 

“No, it’s fine!” You take a sip of your drink to swallow down the dryness within your throat, “I don’t live in the nicest building, or in the nicest area and I guess I was embarrassed.” 

“You don’t have to be embarrassed.” 

“But I was.” You drop your eyes to the plate in front of you, “I know I shouldn’t have been and that it was stupid but I just didn’t want you judge me before you truly knew me because of where I live.” 

“I hope you know now that I wouldn’t have done that.” 

“I do.” 

You let Harry drive you home. Even though you would never admit it to his face just yet, you really liked him. He was kind, sweet and funny and everything you could ever want in your person. You haven’t said this in a long time but you love the person you are around him and you wouldn’t change it for the world if you didn’t have to. 

He stops in the car park outside the building of flats you live in and you can tell he’s thinking deeply about something but you try to not concentrate on that too much. 

“I would invite you up.” You laugh, “But I don’t think the sofa in the middle of my Grandma’s flat whilst she snores in the next room is the most romantic.” 

He scrunches up his nose, “I can’t say that it is.” 

“I’m sorry.” You drop your head to look at your hands that are tested on your knees, “I really wish I could offer you something. Anything.”

“It’s okay, YN.” He uses his finger to move your head up so that you’re looking at him, “I don’t expect anything from you. I hope you know that.” 

“I know.” 

He hesitates for a moment, and you can feel the finger that was rested upon your chin move upwards so that its upon your cheek. You flicker your eyes closed and just mask in the feeling of his touch against your cheek. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asks. 

You eyes open as you nod your head, letting out a shaky breath at the sheer surprise you feel at his words.

“Want your words, darling.” 

“Please kiss me.”  

You close your eyes again and you feel his lips touch yours. It's light at first, but you can’t contain yourself and you end up pushing closer to him, relishing in the feeling of his lips upon yours. Your fingertips grip the collar of his shirt, trying to pull him closer without hurting himself too much on the centre console. Even though you both don’t want to, you pull away as you start to loose breath. 

“You okay?” Your chest heaves up and down as he speaks. 

“Never been better.” You sigh, resting your forehead against his. 

“Good.” 

You kiss again, this time its more passionate and you can’t help but let out a small whine as he pulls away. The smug look on his face after hearing that sound was enough to send your stomach doing flips. 

You really didn’t want to do this, but you had too: “I have to go.” 

“It’s okay.” He smiles, “I understand.” 

“Okay.” You reach for the door handle. 

“I have to go away for a bit.” He sighs, “I’m writing some music over in America but when I get back, do you want to maybe go on another date?” 

“I’d love to.” 

He presses one last kiss to your lips and you leave the car, muttering a small, “Bye.” 

You feel giddy. As though you’re sixteen again and just come back from your first date with your first boyfriend. It was something you hadn’t felt in a long time and in all honesty, you had no idea how to handle those feelings. You certainly wouldn’t admit that you screamed quietly into your pillow in excitement that night. 

You couldn’t wait for him to return home. 

Two weeks. Harry was away for two weeks and even though you had only kissed him once, twice if you actually count how many kisses there were, you missed him more than words could explain. You weren’t one to usually message first, so you did end up waiting until Harry had a spare moment to message you which wasn’t as often as you would’ve liked but you couldn’t complain. 

You almost felt as though you had been drip fed this new life with Harry in, only to have it taken away quicker than you could blink. It wasn’t forever, and that was probably the thing keeping you sane. This had all happened in such a short amount of time but you wouldn’t change it for the world. 

The only thing that limited how far you could take this was your job. 

Harry had obviously been curious and during a text conversation in the first week of his week being away — he asked what you did. After having a small freak out you decided to say that you worked in a bar. It was a small, white lie and you hated yourself for it but telling him that you were a stripper just didn’t feel like the best thing to do at that time. 

You just weren’t ready to tell him, and that was totally okay. 

Speaking of your work, tonight was the night of the big party that Elliot made sure you could come to. The club had held celebrity parties before, so you weren’t entirely nervous but every time someone mentioned it you could feel your heart speeding up slightly. 

“Emerald.” You turn to look at Elliot who’s trudging towards you, a bag in hand, “Here’s your new outfit for tonight.” 

“New? I thought I’d just wear the one for special occasions.��� 

“This is a special, special occasion Emerald.” He dropped the bag down in front of you, “Wear this.” 

Taking the material out of the bag, your mouth dropped open at the sight of the emerald green lingerie in your hands. It was delicate lace that you feared you’d rip if you weren’t too careful. Putting it on, your breasts slightly spilled over the lace, and whilst your front was covered, the thong back of the lingerie left your ass on full display. It was beautiful, you couldn’t dismiss that but you just hadn’t ever worn something so skimpy before. You pulled your black silk robe over your shoulders, fastened your black heels onto your feet and made your way towards the side of the stage. 

The skimpiness of the new lingerie did send more butterflies to the pit of your stomach than you were originally hoping for but it was only another hurdle for you to get over which you knew you’d be able to do. 

You heard the music start to play, you slipped your hand through the gap in the curtain and opened it, revealing yourself to the room. 

Here goes nothing, you mumble to yourself. 

Harry’s jaw dropped at the sight of you on the stage. It certainly wasn’t his usual scene, a strip club, but it was a friend of a friends birthday and he had kindly been invited and he wasn’t about to turn it down. He wasn’t in the band anymore, and certainly didn’t have to hide that he went to places like this anymore, even though they weren’t his favourite. 

He couldn’t bare his eyes off of you. The way your body moved to the rhythm of the song, your darkly manicured nails pushed the robe of your shoulders, exposing the delicate lingerie you were wearing. Harry would be lying if he said that his cock didn’t start to stir at the sight. 

You. The girl who he thought spent her days reading, and looking after Grandma had a secret persona that he only wanted to explore more. 

“My word.” One of the men in the group spoke, loudly so that everyone could hear him, “She’s fit as fuck.” 

“To get my hands on her.” 

Harry clenches his jaw, and his fist that rested on the arm of his chair. If he wasn’t in a very public place where people could record him, he’d give that man a piece of his mind. He probably would but he’d do it when nobody was around so the man could truly understand what he was saying to him. 

“Do you think I could get a dance with her?” The birthday boy asked. 

“It’s your birthday.” The dickhead with no morals spoke, “She might give you something special as a present.” 

“The rules say no touching.” The words slip out of Harry’s mouth before he can stop them, “So I highly doubt that.” 

“I’m sure you’d be saying something different if you were in his position, Styles.” 

Harry rolled his eyes and focused his attention back on the stage, watching as you seductively bent down to pick up some of the tips that had been thrown on the bottom of the stage. The song was slowly finishing and Harry couldn’t help but feel a little bit of disappointment bubbling within him.

Harry watched your lean legs as you strutted towards the side of the stage, flicking the long wig on your head over your shoulder, seductively running your tongue over your bottom lip as you pulled the material of the lingerie down from your breasts. 

Harry bit his lip, his leg bounced, he ran his hand up and down his thigh. He tried to do everything in his power to distract himself from the rousing within his trousers but he just couldn’t do it. The flimsy material dropped to the floor, your red painted lips curled up into a smirk and you made your way behind the curtain, not showing any of your truly bare skin. 

If you hadn’t been imprinted on his brain before, you certainly were now.

You could hear the grunts and groans of happiness, and a few cheers whilst on stage but the lights were so bright that you couldn’t see anything past the first row or so. The tips you had received were good, and you were pleased about that. 

You received your robe and bra back from the stage and pulled them back onto your body. Your solo dance was always a hit for Elliot, and you supposed that was why he’s kept you on for so long and if you were honest, they were the easiest to do. Private dances always made you too uncomfortable, and in the six years you’ve worked there there had only been a handful of people that made you feel comfortable when it came to private dances. 

“Emerald.” Elliot walks in smiling and you assume everything is swell on the floor, “They fucking love you.” 

You nod your head, muttering a small and awkward, “Thank you.” 

He hums, “You’ve been requested for a private dance, and he’s promised to pay you accordingly.” 

“Really?” 

Another hum, “Room Two. I think he’s already there.” 

“Thanks.” 

He leaves the room, a bounce in his step. You suppose that this is a good thing and he’ll finally get off your back for the time you took off for the date with Harry. You at least hoped. 

You checked yourself. You made sure your makeup still looked flawless, your breasts sat perfectly within the material and your arse looked good. You brush through the wig once and make your way towards room two, the smaller of the three private dance rooms which helped it be more intimate. 

You smiled at the bouncer at the door, Gerry, a man who looked as though he could kill someone with a single punch but was actually a massive teddy bear. He was good at his job of keeping everyone safe and making sure that the bad eggs that came in left just as quickly. 

Watching the door slowly open, Harry felt his heart stop. He had been pacing up and down the room ever since he had walked in, and only just stopped when he heard the creek of the door. He couldn’t believe that you were in front of him, and you certainly couldn’t believe that he was in front of you either. 

“YN. . .” He sounded breathless. 

“Harry?” He could see your chest rising and falling at a quick pace, “What? How? I thought you were in America.” 

He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, “I got back last night.” 

“Why are you here?” He can hear the lump in your throat as you speak, your eyes glossing over. 

“A Birthday party.” 

“Yours?” 

“No!” He’s quick to interrupt, “A friend of a friend. It’s not mine. Mine’s in February, and I certainly don’t think I’ll be having my party here. Not that there’s anything wrong with here! It’s lovely! You’re lovely! I’m rambling.” 

He was so gosh darn cute and if you weren’t in the middle of a break down, you probably would’ve laughed or at least reacted to his little word vomit. It was probably the quickest you’d ever heard him talk, not that it was hard. 

After a few minutes of contemplating what to say, you sigh, “I’m sorry.” 

His voice is soft, his features falling, “What are you sorry for?” 

“Lying to you.” You drop your gaze to the floor, trying to suppress the tears, “I didn’t want to.” 

“Hey, hey.” He walks over to you, placing his finger underneath your chin just like he had done in the car weeks ago, “No need to get upset, I’m not.” 

“You should be.” You bottom lip quivers, “I lied to you and I had no intention to retract that just yet.” 

“YN.” He rests his palms on your cheeks, “I’m not angry. I’m not upset. I just want to know why.”

“I was scared.” You admit, trying to do anything but look up at him, “I didn’t know what you’d think or if you’d change your mind.” 

“Change my mind about what?” 

“Wanting too, you know. . .?” 

He shakes his head, “I wouldn’t. There’s no reason for me to.” 

“I’m a stripper Harry, it gives you full reason to not want to be associated with me.” You lift your hand to wipe your under-eye. 

“I’m not judging you, YN, I said I wouldn’t.” 

“I wouldn’t be upset if you did.” 

“YN.” His voice is stern, more so than it had been, “I don’t care that you’re a stripper.” 

“You don’t.” 

“No.” He smiles, “I don’t.” 

“Fuck.” You let out a breath of relief, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” 

“I don’t mind.” He shrugs, “If you didn’t want to, you didn’t have to.” 

You had never met someone like him, and no matter how many times he surprised you that was just fact. Granted, you hadn’t had time to date anyone with looking after your Grandma but another reason you didn’t was because of what they would think of you. 

You knew that not everyone would be was understanding and lovely as Harry had been, and that was just because of the lovely person he was inside and out. That was the reason you didn’t tell him, because even though you had an inclination that he was accepting but you didn’t know whether that was just a façade or he was like that in real life. You loved that he was like that in real life. 

“Can I be honest?” You nod, “I enjoyed it.” 

You bite your lip to suppress the smile that threatened to cross your lips, “You did?” 

He hums, beaming a smile at you. 

“If you wouldn’t mind.” The corner of his lips tugs upwards, “I’d still love to get that private dance.”

You roll your eyes and thwack his shoulder playfully, “If you must.” 

“I’ll wait for you.” He nods, “Until your shift is over, if you want.” 

“Please.” 

“I’ll see you then.” 

You hadn’t even made it completely into Harry’s house before his lips were on yours. He pushed you up against his front door before he’d even shut it properly, his lips falling upon yours with a hunger you hadn’t felt since you last kissed him. 

Maybe it was his hands rested upon the small of your back, your fingers threading through the curls at the nape of his neck. 

“Can I offer you a drink?” He smirks against your lips. 

“Not the priority.” You reply, not bringing your lips away from his. 

“Noted.” He places a kiss to your jaw, “Upstairs?” 

“Upstairs.” 

You follow him up the stairs, your hand rested firmly in his. You’re too distracted by the man in front of you to take any notice of the house or where you were going. 

Harry had kept true to his word and waited for you. You secretly wished that you could have recorded the group’s reaction as you walked towards him, a small smile on your face. After bidding them goodbye, the two of you jumped in a taxi that Harry had ordered and made your way to his house, or what you expected to be his house and you weren’t disappointed. 

The second you step into the plushly decorated room, you’re kissing again. His hands slide down to rest upon curve of your ass, his ring-clad fingers immediately squeezing the flesh. You groan lightly into his mouth, allowing his tongue to slip through her parted lips. You grip his bicep as he leads your backwards into the room, your calves hitting the bed as he does so. 

Your lips part, you fall back onto the bed. You look up at him through your eyelashes, your fingertips reaching to pull the shirt he was wearing over his head. You almost swoon there and then at the sight of the tattoos littering his skin. You lean forward and place a kiss on his lower stomach, just before his happy trail that slips into the band of his trousers. 

You bite your lip, grinning up at him. 

“What are you planning?” 

“I don’t know.” You shrug, “What do you want me to be planning?” 

He groans, “Anything at this point.”

You reach forward, taking the button of his trousers in your fingers. You look up, “Is this okay?” 

“More than okay, baby.” 

You unbutton his trousers, wrapping your finger in the waistband and pulling them down. You can already see the tent in his boxers. You wondered how long he had been like this, you wondered if it had been since your dances. 

You blush slightly as you hook your fingers now into the waistband of his boxers, looking up at him. You can’t handle the look on his face, the slight blush but the boyish grin mixed with his curls that had fallen forward upon his forehead. You pull the fabric down, exposing his hard cock. You watch as it hits his stomach briefly, the tip swollen. You lift your hand up, wrapping it around him before giving him a few pumps. His stomach quivers as you do so, a groan escaping him as you wrap your lips around his tip. His eyes flutter closed as you start to bob your head, his fingers reaching forward to grab your hair into a ponytail. 

“Fuck baby.” His hips involuntarily buck forward. You sink further down, going as far as you could. 

Harry couldn’t believe how good he felt. It had been a while since he had been with someone, and it was worth the wait. You pulled away too soon in his opinion, but the sight of you, all teary eyed and sloppy sent his mind spiralling. 

“God.” He bent down and wrapped his arms around your thighs, lifting you up so he could move you further up the bed, “You’re fucking killing me here.” 

“Good.” You giggle. 

He’s quick to remove your shirt, allowing you to pull your jeans down at the same time. He didn’t expect you to still be in the lingerie from earlier, and if it was physically possible, he swore his cock hardened even more. 

“Fuck me.” 

He leans forward, pressing his lips to yours again as his fingers fumble with the latch of your bra. You bite your bottom lip as he wraps his around your nipple, flicking it with his tongue. He uses his hand to knead the other one. You can’t help but grind your hips forwards, a feeling bubbling deep in the pit of your stomach that you hadn’t felt in a long time. 

“Harry.” You moan, withering under his touch. 

He kisses down from your lips, to your jaw, down your neck until he’s littering them all the way to the band of your underwear. 

“Is this okay?” 

“More than okay.” You whine as he lets out a breath upon the thin material. 

He pulls your underwear down, teasing you by placing kisses across your thighs and pubic bone. He’s so close, yet so far from the place that you need him the most. He licks a stripe across your centre, until he wraps his lips around your clit. You can’t help the moans that escape your parted lips as he nibbles and flicks your sensitive nub, her thighs starting to shake as he coaxes her closer and closer to her orgasm. 

“Don’t stop.” You thread your fingers through his hair, “God! Harry.” 

He pulls away, and you let out a shaky breath as he does so. 

“No fair.” You whine. 

“Life isn’t.” 

“Just shut up and get a condom.” He does as you request, placing a small peck to your lips as he reached over to grab a condom from the drawer beside the bed. 

You watch as he rips the packet open with his teeth, pulling the rubber down his length. He presses another kiss to your lips, catching her eyesight once more.

“Are you sure?” 

“More than okay.” 

He hovers over you, rubbing his tip up and down your wet folds to coax a moan out of your lips. He groans into your shoulder as he pushes in, biting down briefly to suppress the sound. 

“Don’t.” You moan, scratching your nails down his back as he starts to thrust in and out of you, “Let me hear you.” 

“Fuck.” You squeeze him slightly, “Do that again.” 

He speeds up, catching your lips as your hips meeting quicker, the only sound in the room being your skin slapping each others. You slip one of your hands between the two of you, your nimble fingers rubbing your clit. 

“Where have you been all my life?” You can’t help the pleasurable giggle that escapes your lips. 

“Feel so good, H.” 

After a few more thrusts, a couple more circles of her clit and she’s comes around his cock, squeezing him tightly as she did so. 

“Fuck, shit, oh god.” 

He continues to thrust in and out of you, coaxing you through your orgasm and towards his. He seems to go deeper and deeper until he’s spilling inside the condom, his moans louder than any you had heard before. 

“God.” He collapses on top of you, taking a few seconds to collect himself and let you collect yourself, “Haven’t felt like that in a long time.” 

“Glad I could be of some assistance.” You push the hair that had matted to your face off. 

“You should keep secrets from me more often.’ 

“I’m never doing that again.” 

“Good.” He pecks your lips. 

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x yn #harry styles x you #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles smut fic

[variousqueerthings]

Tom Hardy Movies rated least to most queer

I made a list of some Tom Hardy movies and I rated them based on my own, non-specific criteria about what makes a movie queer. Results below the cut.

(Some films not included, because I haven’t watched them yet, because Mr Hardy’s only in them for a few minutes, because the subject matter doesn’t lend itself to this list, or because I just don’t want’em here. TV series also not included. The list is organised into both groups and ratings, because I’m doing The Most.)

Movies are divided into four groups and rated from 0 – 10 on the Queer-Scale, scroll down to the bottom if you want the ratings without the commentary.

Disclaimer: This list is subjective. Don’t come at me because I didn’t rate Inception higher, Nolan himself is as queer as cargo shorts. 

1. This movie would make more sense if it were queer

If this movie were queer it… might not become a perfect film all of a sudden, but it’d make a hell of a lot more sense than what’s actually going on. With an occasional dose of “are the cis-straights okay?”

This Means War (2012): So Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are ostensibly both in love with Reese Witherspoon, but say “I love you” to each other pretty much constantly throughout the movie and their friendship is often presented as a domestic partnership. Cool, cool, cooool.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10. This movie hate-crimed me by having Tom Hardy literally spell out his relationship with Chris Pine, only for the script to then have him say… “can you imagine all that… but with a woman…” Later on the movie explicitly denies polyamory is possible. Fuck this film.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012): Batman movies should always be queer. Mr. Hardy’s the only one who acceptably camps it up, despite Nolan’s best attempts to make him “acceptably gruff.” No matter what you do, Bane is a massive daddy in a mask and thanks to Mr Hardy’s honestly iconic fucking speech pattern in this film, it goes from pretty atrociously straight to just queer enough to imagine a future where Robert Pattinson plays batman and maybe adopts a bunch of kids.

(the only truly decent mask in this franchise tbh)

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. Mr Hardy’s back is the one that’s actually broken carrying any semblance of fun in this overly long movie all on his own.

Lawless (2012): Wow, this really was the year of the not-queer-enough, wasn’t it? Look, it’s “based on a real story,” but it’s also a movie and movies don’t need to stick to the truth, and this one certainly doesn’t. Was the guy queer in real life? I don’t know. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is that it’s just kind of an eh movie and maybe being queer would add something to it. One of those “but why make someone queer? because it’s always more interesting to do so,” movies.

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. It’s just not queer. But Tom Hardy wears cardigans and described his character as a “mother figure,” which adds an interesting dynamic to him.

2. Actually Queer but in a homophobic way

Tom Hardy plays a canonically queer character, yaaay. The whole movie contains a strange sense of the director being too not-queer to actually engage with that and everything around him is almost aggressively straight, noooo.

RocknRolla (2008): Honestly this movie has the funniest coming out scene ever + that familiar undertone of “all these manly men secretly want to fuck each other” is only heightened by one of them actually being gay and in love with his best friend. It’s such a fucking… it’s such a movie. Personally I find Mark Strong, Idris Elba, Thandie Newton, and, of course, Tom Hardy to be really hot in it, so that’s a plus. There’s a scene in which Strong’s character teaches another gangster how to do a proper backhand. It’s really gay of him. Also slow-dancing at a gay club. Butler’s character needs to get himself together, you really don’t think 2008 Tom Hardy is hot? Mate.

(left to right: functional queer, disaster queer, distinguished queer)

Queer Rating: 6 out of 10, for having an actual gay character who is played by Tom Hardy doing a sexy phonecall voice to another guy, but then there’s that feeling you can’t shake that the whole movie is vaguely uncomfortable about it, like a family member awkwardly patting you on the shoulder after they found out you were queer second-hand, but they’ve still got 50 years of bias to unlearn. Also Thandie Newton is killed, fuck that noise. 

Legend (2015): If I had a nickle for the amount of times Tom Hardy’s played a gay gangster, I’d have two nickles. Which isn’t a lot, but weird that it happened twice (looks at Peaky Blinders and thinks it ought to be three times). I’ve watched Legend three times and every time it just… loses me. And because this is a biased list, I’ll only specifically mention that it fails to make Ron’s queerness anything but a way for him to shock others. Gangsters could be gay? Gasp! On the upside Tom Hardy has so much sexual tension with everyone in this movie, including himself (why would you do that? Asks Ron, bemused. Because I can’t kill you, no matter how much I fucking want to, hisses a blood-soaked Reggie right into his ear. It’s hot).

Queer rating: 5 out of 10 because the film is just not very queer for a movie with several queer men in it.

3. Straight as a forced family dinner

It’s straight.

Locke (2013): He’s a married man who had an affair and trying to deal with the fallout of it. This isn’t a spoiler for most of the movie, it’s a pretty neat movie where we look at Tom Hardy having a bit of a mental breakdown and taking lots of phonecalls (my personal hell). Is it queer? Not in the slightest.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10 for Hardy’s face being in almost every shot.

The Revenant (2015): Yeah, yeah, DeCaprio’s and Hardy’s characters are obsessed with each other, yeah it’s a man’s world where the only women are dead wife, kidnapped sexually assaulted native princess, or background whore, yeah, they fight each other and there’s a ton of grunting, but also… I just fucking don’t like this movie. The thin line where a storyline like this one becomes queer might be crossed for others, but not for me. Fuck these guys and their stupid  bear fights.

Queer rating: 3 out of 10 for it being about dirty men in the middle of nowhere (but you could just watch Brokeback Mountain or The Lighthouse or God’s Own Country or any Mad Max, or, or, or…)

4. Queer? Queer. Queer? … Queer…

The plots, aesthetics and/or characters played by Tom Hardy lend themselves to a queer reading, even if there is no overt intention towards queerness. Often this is because of a deliberate lack of heterosexual and/or cisgender writing, which in this day and age is still pretty uncommon not to include within a plot.

Inception (2010): Okay, I don’t even need to write about the added “darling,” or the “go to sleep Mr Eames.” I don’t need to go on about the absolutely bonkers amount of fanfiction written for Eames and Arthur, based on a few minutes of film and a boatload of chemistry. It’s queer.

Queer Rating: 7 out of 10, because the actual plot of the film isn’t very queer, but between the Arthur/Eames dynamic and Elliot Page, Nolan was really given a gift he didn’t deserve.

Warrior (2011): Okay, so first off, this might be my favourite Tom Hardy film, at least some part of my brain is fixated on it at almost all times and I’m considering watching it for the third time in two weeks. I don’t only consider it queer based on Mr. Hardy’s character, although he has no romantic or sexual interest and could be read as aroace, but because of the themes, especially those surrounding said character, who is coded as a caregiver to women and through close emotional connections to men. It’s got possibly unintentional deconstructions of masculinity and two men (brothers) who need to forgive each other and can only do so through the catharsis of violence. It speaks to me as a transmasc with several cis brothers, struggling with my own masculinity. It’s not at all written for me, but I find myself all over it. I could talk about this movie forever.

Queer Rating: 8 out of 10. I’m not allowed to say any more or I’ll never stop writing about it. I love you Tommy…

The Drop (2014): Bob’s lack of sexual and/or romantic interest in Naomi is so strange to her that she doesn’t know what he would want from her otherwise. Bob really just wants to raise a dog with her (and also forgiveness for past sins). Bob is such a rare ace and possibly aro coded character, it really throws me every time I watch this film how obvious it is. Bonus points for also being autistic-coded and not in the stereotypical ways.

(Tom Hardy’s most challenging role: pretending he doesn’t know dogs)

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10 because it’s so fucking rare to see ace and aro coded characters that aren’t, you know…. serial killers. Also Tom Hardy adopts a puppy and has a very cute, kinda lispy voice. How often does Tom Hardy play softer men like this?

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015): Very deliberately no sexual or romantic writing included in Max’s and Furiosa’s relationship. Sure, there’s not a lot of time for that in the post-apocalyptic wasteland, but it was also done with a purpose! “It was always going to be two warriors on par, starting off with very little respect for each other and ending up with a massive respect for each other.” - Charlize Theron. “So of course they meet, of course there’s a relationship, an unspoken understanding. A recognition.” - Tom Hardy.

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10. It’s not just the characters, but the world and it’s apocalyptic BDSM leather scene, the questions it asks about sustainability and about people as tools, and the found family. It’s about overcoming violence through multiple kinds of love. And it’s about watching a guy playing flame-thrower guitar. What could be queerer?

Venom (2018): Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same… No, but Eddie is queer. The only question is whether the sequel will acknowledge that aspect or not, but even if not. Even if it manages to straightly bypass the reality of a symbiotic relationship with a genderless? genderfluid? being from another world that is linked to you down to your very cells and understands you more intimately than any other person possibly could… even if all that: Eddie is queer. Venom and Eddie are in a relationship. Any relationship Eddie ever enters into will automatically become a thrupple. He makes out with Venom in the movie! Eddie is queer.

(aw yeah that tongue is going down his throat)

Queer Rating: 9.5 out of 10, because it’s still coded by the creators in the language of bromance (hey, bro, is it gay if we’re physically and emotionally closer than any other people on earth?), but the movie is so, so camp and Mr Hardy’s acting choices are beautiful – the screaming? The lispy soft voice and lack of taking up space? The lobster tank? The only people who don’t know how queer this is are the people making it apparently. Fingers crossed for that sequel!

Hon. mentions:

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002): Star Trek – even at it’s worst (especially at its worst?) – is camp af + Hardy is a straight-up baby in this film.

Bronson (2008): It’s about a real person who’s still alive, so I won’t comment on the actual man. However the film seems to code the character Bronson along an ace line and also has genderqueering Vaudeville. Someone let Tom Hardy do more of whatever was going on in those stage-bits.

(this right here: this the good shit)

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011): Another ensemble piece not massively about Hardy’s character, but it’s a movie that centers around queerness in a strange, depressing way. Tom Hardy’s character isn’t queer. Colin Firth and Mark Strong are though. The book makes me cry.

Peaky Blinders (2013-): Because it’s a TV series I left it out. There’s a lot of straight nonsense going on there, but Alfie Solomens is gay. There’s nothing in the series that disputes that and plenty that lends itself to the reading.

Dunkirk (2017): Tom Hardy plays an RAF pilot in a deep emotional connection with the other main RAF pilot. That’s immediately gay. However he’s not in the movie much because of the way it’s constructed, so I left it off.

Queer Ratings (least to most)

No queer to be found here traveller:

This Means War: 2 out of 10 - illegal movie, Tom Hardy swore he wouldn’t do another rom-com after

Locke: 2 out of 10 - straight Welshman and his straight problems. He pretty though

Lawless: 3 out of 10 - cardigan-Hardy being a mother-hen, but very straight for all that

The Dark Knight Rises: 3 out of 10 - a superhero movie that doesn’t deserve Mr Hardy’s camp talents (unlike Venom)

The Revenant: 3 out of 10 - doesn’t give me what I want out of a movie full of dirty, bearded men

Queer but we deserve more:

Legend: 5 out of 10 - timid homosexuality, considering the source material. 

RocknRolla: 6 out of 10 - hey bro, is it gay if we kill the only female lead in our massive ensemble cast

The queerest of Hardy’s:

Inception: 7 out of 10 - Elliot Page and JGL kissing was an all-around terrible choice that made no sense, we know the truth, Nolan

Warrior: 8 out of 10 - I’m still crying, Edgerton’s crying, Hardy’s crying, we’re all crying, and I think that’s really emotionally healthy and queer of us

Mad Max: Fury Road: 9 out of 10 - non-romantic love in the time of BDSM post-apocalyptic wastelands is something that can actually be so personal

The Drop: 9 out of 10 - “Fucking punk. Go out to dinner dressed like you're still in you living room! You wear those big hippity-hoppity clown shoes! You speak to women terribly! You treat them despicably! You hurt harmless dogs that can't defend themselves! I'm tired of you man. I'm tired of you. You embarrass me!”

Venom: 9.5 out of 10 - Sometimes a relationship is an anxious reporter, the sentient goo inhabiting his body, his kinda-ex-girlfriend and her new doctor boyfriend, and I think that’s beautiful

#tom hardy #mad max: fury road #venom 2018 #inception #rocknrolla #warrior 2011 #legend 2015 #the drop 2014 #the revenant #the dark knight rises #lawless 2012 #locke #this means war

[ur-typical-nerd]

I’ve finally decided to post some my Club Penguin OCs! Since I have far too many to put in one post, I’m gonna start out with my main three (who, by the way, are gonna be the protags of a story I’m working on!) and one of my favorite villains!

MARCY

-Pink Penguin with red, curly hair. Generally wears comfy, slightly sporty clothes

-Feral Chaotic Good

-Pansexual

-Ace Agent and bane of Herbert’s existence

-Has ADHD. She’s rather impulsive and as a hard time focusing.

-Dating EPF medic Penny

-Raised by her mom, dad left them when she was young. This left her with Daddy Issues™

-(She eventually gets a better father figure in Gary)

-Is actually Roofhowse’s half sister on their father’s side! Neither of them are aware of this yet.

-Perfectly willing to bite. Herbert learned this the hard way

-Owns two puffles named Charcoal (black) and Snowball (white) whom she considers her babies

-Banned from having coffee ever

-Loves cheese. A lot. Like, a lot. She often gets banned from using the Pizzatron 3000 because she eats the cheese straight out of the bin.

-Shortest and youngest of the agents

PENNY

-Yellow penguin with fluffy brown hair. Tends to wear cottagecore clothing

-Lesbian

-EPF Medic

-Dating Ace Agent Marcie

-Has two fathers, one of whom is a doctor

-Autistic, with a special interest in medicine! She used to read her dad’s medical textbooks whenever she got her flippers on them.

-Literally the sweetest thing ever

-Will help you with anything you need if you ask (or forcibly help you if you’re too stubborn/shy to ask)

-One time she and Marcie were brought to Herbert’s base by a panicked Klutzy because they were worried for a sick Herbert. When Herbert tried to be evil, Penny straight up went “nope, we‘re not doing this today, you’re too sick. Now drink your tea and get some rest.”

-Sews plushies in her free time

-Doesn’t own any puffles yet, but she does foster!

-The brain cell for Marcie and Avalanche

-Also, I like to think she and Penny Gwen (one of @fullmoonfireball ’s aces) would be friends. They could be Same-Name buddies!

AVALANCHE (Real name Elliot)

-Light blue penguin with messy black hair. Practically lives in his hockey jersey

-Gay

-Tactical Agent

-Muscular himbo

-Has two moms, one being a retired flipperball player and the other a referee

-Has ADHD and mild dyslexia

-Hates it when people consider/call him dumb because of this

-Carries his friends when they’re too tired to walk

-Owns a Rainbow Puffle named Morris. However, his full title is Morris, Prince of The Gays

-Avalanche himself is the semi-official King of The Gays

-Got his nickname from a teammate he may or may not have had a crush on

-Can lift, like, half his coworkers

DEVON

-Arctic fox

-Smug little jerk

-Actually a teenager! The EPF and Herbert don’t know this

-Less “national threat” and more “local troublemaker who occasionally causes major problems”

-Questioning his sexuality

-Washed up on the beach and decided to cause exclusively problems

-Mostly pranks and harasses penguins, with some vandalism and larceny thrown in the mix

-Herbert hates this kid. Devon knows this, and that’s why the bear is one of his favorite targets for pranks.

-Regularly breaks into igloos to steal snacks and set up pranks

-He tried to do this to Herbert once. He ended up getting chased out.

-Terrifyingly stealthy and quick

-The EPF doesn’t really see him as a major threat

-Would probably get along with Bijou (The EPF’s Recycling Bin’s collective OC) to some degree

#I’ll post some more OCs eventually! #For now have these babies! #club penguin #My ocs #ace agent marcie #agent marcie #marcie #penny the medic #penny #agent avalanche #avalanche #devon the arctic fox #devon #’long post’ #is that one of the banned tags? #honestly who even knows at this point #unfortunately no art because I Cannot Draw #but other artists can draw them if you want!

[jjfics]

On The Run | 01

ship: Five Hargreeves x Female!Reader 

summary: The Hargreeves have to leave the Academy behind and run away to Dallas, Texas. The Reader is a lot more anxious than Five and thats understandable, but they need to focus.

series: read part 2 here

author: jane jack aka your girl jjfics 

words: 1950

warnings: mentions of blood, death and murder, (feelings of uncertainty and anxiety, flashbacks) and lots of angssst (why do i love writing angst thoughh??)

a/n: there will definitely be a part 2 so keep those notifications in checkk

It felt as if you could read everyone else’s thoughts through the silence. The car kept moving at a fast speed as you passed cities and villages. From time to time you would worry Five was going to lose control of the car, but he never even flinched. 

He just looked at the road before you; stress and worry were clear in his eyes. There was so much he needed to figure out. Who were you going to be from now on? And him? And his siblings? Were you going to hide forever? 

“Five” you whispered. He didn’t hear you. Or maybe he did and he chose to ignore you. “Five” you said again, this time catching his attention. 

He turned to look at you for a moment and then he focused on the road again.“What?” 

“Can we stop for 5 minutes at the next gas station, please? I have to wash my hands.” you said quietly looking down. 

He pursed his lips before he spoke again. “No.” Five was just being direct. The more time it took you to get to Dallas, the more vulnerable you became. 

Dallas…

You fell through the vortex a couple of months before Five arrived. With no idea where the others went or how to find them, it was really just you, all alone. You were the last one Elliot took a picture of before the chaos of the second apocalypse began. The alley was strange, and so were the people. Everything was different here. You were disoriented and scared. According to the confused strangers when you asked them the date, you were somewhere way before your birth.

First thing you realise when you don’t even have a home anymore is that you need money. It can be so crucial. But how will you, a nobody in the 60s, survive if all you knew how to do, was sing? Music was how you met your best friend Vanya for the first time: at an audition. And after that followed the concerts. The public loved the two of you.

So you did what you did best. 

One day, while walking aimlessly on the busy streets, searching for a place selling cheap food, you started singing your favourite song. A song no one around had ever heard, a song you danced to with Five once. People started to gather around you and listen as you went on. This was it, this is where you were in your element. Your father forced you to take singing lessons when you were four. You didn’t enjoy it at first, but you grew up to love it. People clapped and left you money before going on about their day. So you ended up spending the entire day there. By nightfall you had been given enough money for the whole week. 

You were leaning on a cold brick wall and eating a sandwich when you saw someone drop a newspaper. Curiously, you grabbed it and were shocked by the headline. 

“Young woman sings in front of a bakery stealing every Texan’s heart. Who is the mysterious singer to whom many would empty their pockets for a show? 

You had been living in an apartment above The Rosemary Club, the place you worked at now. You sang almost every night and earned a lot of money and visitors for your boss, so he let you stay there. 

One night, you had a special visitor. He wasn’t there to see you specifically; he was working, just like you. Luther went everywhere his boss went, he was his bodyguard. You made eye contact a couple of times but never spoke on that evening. You couldn’t even look at him without cringing away. Not after what he did to Vanya. Five might say that she’s the bomb, but in your mind, that bomb was pretty much activated by Luther.He tried to talk to you but you avoided him as much as possible. 

“y/n! Wait, stop running away, God!” 

“What do you want, Luther?” you gave him a cold look.

“To talk to you? Isn’t that what normal people do after they haven’t seen each other for a long time?” he asks. 

“I don’t want to talk to you.” you said and ordered a drink. 

“Jesus, y/n, what's wrong with you?”

“Do I have to remind you that we’re here because of you?”

“Because of me? What do you mean, didn’t you see how Vanya literally destroyed the M-”

“Shut up. I don’t care.” you cut him off. “Have you met anyone else besides me, you stalker?”

“No.” he admitted. ”I tried searching for Allison but they haven’t found her yet.” 

“Right. Amazing. Five? No news about him either?” His expression softens. He knew about your relationship with Five, and how much you two meant for each other. 

“No, I’m really sorry. I don’t know where he is…” his voice only getting smaller when he saw the disappointment in your eyes.

You looked up from your drink and to the big man next you. “Then you can leave. I have to go get dressed.” You put your glass on the counter and left.

Your days in Dallas were easy. Life was always the same and you knew what to expect. Sometimes Luther and his boss would show up at the club and you would ignore each other. You sang, you were introduced to some people and you would make small talk with the bartender. Day after day, always missing your friends. Missing 2019. Missing Five. Your life was easy, but you were alone for the most part. You missed cuddling with Five before you went to sleep together and then waking up in his arms. You missed how he would come and pick you up after practise. How he would kiss you after every concert and tell you how proud he was of you. You missed him truly. 

The bow to the public mixed with a charismatic smile and a wave was how you always ended a good show. Walking off stage you rolled your eyes when you saw who came towards you. 

“There’s someone who would like to talk to you.” he said with a stupid smile planted on his face.

“I’m on break.” you tried to walk away. Luther grabbed your arm and spun you around so you would be facing him again. “Hey! What are you doing? Back off!”

“Believe me, y/n, you really should go talk to him” 

You eyed him suspiciously. “Well alright then.” you said sarcastically. “But keep your hands to yourself.” 

“Yeah, right, sorry.” he said and stepped to the side . “Come with me, he’s waiting outside.” he babbled before leading you to the main entrance of the club, one which neither of you used. This all seemed sketchy. If he was trying to kidnap you, I’d be no surprise. 

The air outside was cooler than usual. You crossed your arms and huffed. 

And then you saw him. Right there, alive and in front of you. He was well. He survived. 

He was still wearing his uniform, which was clean. He must've just arrived. 

You ran to him as fast your red heels allowed you to and he met you with a warm embrace. He still smelled exactly like himself. A day to him, months for you. Is this what it felt like for him when he was stuck in the future? You hugged him tight and inhaled his scent deeply trying to forget all these nights you cried, hoping he would come through the door and hug you. Hoping he would materialize in front of you like he did for his father’s funeral.

The man still looked young, but you knew damn well who he was. He wasn’t someone you’d forget that easily. Finally, he was here, with you. 

He pulled away and it almost pained you. It was crazy, of course, to think that after all this time you’d lose him again, but even as much as moving an inch scared you now that he was right here. 

“y/n.”

“Five”

Your lips melted together in the most awaited kiss of the century. Of all time maybe. His hands glued themselves to your waist again and you saw him perfectly in the dim light of the alley.

Your eyes were empty. You wanted to wipe your hands but the blood on them had dried already. 

“Five, please I need to wash my hands. I need to- I- I have to wash it all away- Please” 

He hated that he had to hear you beg and yet he couldn't stop. It’s for her own safety, it’s for our safety, he would think. 

“y/n we can’t stop now. Even 5 minutes could mean our deaths right now. Please understand” 

And you wanted to understand. You wanted to stay calm just like the rest, but they were trained. They’ve done such things before. You however, didn’t. Everytime you looked at your lap you saw her again. Laying there, lifeless. You saw the knife as it fell from your hands, making an awful sound when it hit the floor. Maybe if you’d wash them, the flashbacks would stop. 

“Please, I can’t. I can’t do it. I can’t be like this. This is not- It’s not-” 

Your breath was uncontrolled. Everytime you closed your eyes, you saw her again. Everytime you would inhale, she would exhale for the last time, again, and again, and again. You were fully sobbing now. 

Vanya’s hand softly touched your shoulder from the back seat and you flinched. “Shh, it’s just me” she cooed “It’s just me” 

You tried to relax a bit and then spoke again, hoping to get it right this time.

“I’m a bad person, Five. I just killed an innocent woman and… and I have her blood all over my hands.” you looked at him to find he was already looking at you. Guilt and regret were visible on his face. “I’m a killer, Five.” you wept. 

He reached your cheek with one hand and wiped your tears away. “She wasn’t innocent” he stated. “She’s killed many people.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m any less of a killer” 

“Well, then. I’m a killer too. More or less than my siblings here. So we are all on the same team.” he spoke calmly, as if the Hargreeves discussed murder at the dinner table every evening. Thinking about it twice there’s a big chance they did, when the old man was still alive at least.

“But you killed to survive, Five. You had to. I didn’t but she’s dead now.”

He huffed in annoyance. She’s not used to this. Take it slowly, he thought.

“You had to, too, y/n. It was self defence. If it wasn’t her then… well then let’s not think about it” he finished. Then I would be the one dead, you added, but only in your head because you knew how much he hated thinking about anything bad happening to you. He wanted you safe. You wanted him safe.

“Okay then. But as soon as we’re in Dallas we’ll stop and get new clothes.” you started to come back to your senses again. Right. You need to get to the city and find a way to trick the Commision. Or maybe you needed to hide. Or just freshen up and get on the road again. You didn’t know exactly what you were going to do, but if anyone found the map Diego was holding in his lap right now, they’d know exactly what your first stop was going to be. The Rosemary Club.

#five hargreeves #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves imagine #five imagine #five x reader #number five fanfic #number five x reader #number five imagine #number five #tua imagine #tua fanfiction #tua fanfic #tua fandom #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy imagine

[surveyhoursss]

127.

Bold the ones that you know of!

2000

1.Who Let The Dogs Out? -Baha Men

2. All The Small Things -Blink 182

3. Amazed -Lonestar

4. Oops, I Did It Again -Britney Spears

5. Graduation -Vitamin C

6. Bye, Bye, Bye -N*Sync

7. Independent Woman -Destiny’s Child

8. Let’s Make Love – Tim McGraw and Faith Hill

9. Zombie Nation – Kernkraft 4000

10. I Turn To You – Christina Aguilera

11. I Knew I Loved You – Savage Garden

12. It’s My Life – Bon Jovi

13. Breathe – Faith Hill

14. Shake Your Bon-Bon – Ricky Martin

15. Blue (Da Ba Dee) – Eiffel 65

16. Goobye Earl – Dixie Chicks

17. Let’s Get Married – Jagged Edge

18. The Bad Touch – Bloodhound Gang

19. The Real Slim Shady – Eminem

20. Say My Name – Destiny’s Child

21. It’s Gonna Be Me – N*Sync

22. Party Up – DMX

23. Sexual (Li Da Di) – Amber

24. Country Grammar – Nelly

25. Aaron’s Party (Come Get It) – Aaron Carter

2001

1. Hanging By A Moment -Lifehouse

2. Allin’ -Alicia Keys

3. All For You -Janet

4. If You’re Gone -Matchbox Twenty

5. I’M Real -Jennifer Lopez ft. Ja Rule

6. Drops Of Jupiter (Tell Me) -Train

7. Let Me Blow Ya Mind -Eve ft. Gwen Stefani

8. Thank You -Dido

9. Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops!) -Blu Cantrell

10. Independent Women Part I -Destiny’s Child

11. Again -Lenny Kravitz

12. It’S Been Awhile -Staind

13. Stutter -Joe ft. Mystikal

14. It Wasn’T Me’ -Shaggy ft. Ricardo “RikRok” Ducent

15. U Remind Me -Usher

16. Where The Party At -Jagged Edge With Nelly

17. Angel -Shaggy Featuring Rayvon

18. Ride Wit Me -Nelly Featuring City Spud

19. Peaches & Cream -112

20. Follow Me -Uncle Kracker

21. Drive -Incubus

22. What Would You Do? -Alicia Keys

23. Survivor -Destiny’s Child

24. Lady Marmalade -Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Mya & Pink

25. Ms. Jackson -OutKast

2002

1. A Moment Like This – Kelly Clarkson

2. Hot In Herre – Nelly

3. Complicated – Avril Lavigne

4. Girlfriend – N Sync & Nelly

5. Sk8er Boi – Avril Lavigne

6. Can’t Fight The Moonlight – LeAnn Rimes

7. Dirrty – Christina Aguilera

8. A Thousand Miles – Vanessa Carlton

9. Heaven – DJ Sammy

10. Gimme The Light – Sean Paul

11. The World’s Greatest – R Kelly

12. Jenny From The Block – Jennifer Lopez Featuring Jadakiss & Styles

13. Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) – Toby Keith

14. Goodbye To You – Michelle Branch

15. Can’t Get You Out Of My Head – Kylie Minogue

16. The Game Of Love – Santana Featuring Michelle Branch

17. Young’n (Holla Back) – Fabolous

18. She Hates Me – Puddle Of Mudd

19. Starry Eyed Surprise – Oakenfold Featuring Shifty Shellshock

20. The Middle – Jimmy Eat World

21. Say I Yi Yi – Ying Yang Twins

22. Just A Friend 2002 – Mario

23. Hey Baby – No Doubt and Bounty Killer

24. Work It – Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott

25. U Don’t Have To Call – Usher

2003

1. In Da Club -50 Cent

2. Crazy in Love -Beyonce w. Jay-Z

3. Get Busy -Sean Paul

4. When I’m Gone -Three Doors Down

5. Ignition -R Kelly

6. Baby Boy -Beyonce w. Sean Paul

7. This is the Night -Clay Aiken

8. Bring Me To Life -Evanescence

9. Right Thurr -Chingy

10. Unwell -Matchbox Twenty

11. Picture -Kid Rock w. Sheryl Crow

12. Drift Away -Uncle Kracker & Dobie Gray

13. Get Low -Lil’ John & The East Side Boyz

14. Beautiful -Christina Aguilera

15. I’m With You -Avril Lavigne

16. Miss You -Aalyiah

17. 21 Questions -50 Cent & Nate Dogg

18. Shake Ya Tailfeather Nelly -P. Diddy and Murphy Lee

19. All I Have -Jennifer Lopez & LL Cool J

20. I Know What You Want -Busta Rhymes & Mariah Carey

21. Magic Stick -Lil’ Kim w. 50 Cent

22. Bump Bump Bump -B2K and P. Diddy

23. Flying Without Wings -Ruben Studdard

24. Here Without You -3 Doors Down

25. Work It -Missy Elliot

2004 (my birth year !! )

1. Yeah! -Usher

2. Burn -Usher

3. This Love -Maroon 5

4. The Way You Move -Outkast

5. If I Ain’t Got You -Alecia Keys

6. Hey Ya! -Outkast

7. I Don’t Wanna Know -Mario Winans

8. The Reason -Hoobastank

9. Confessions Part II -Usher

10. My Immortal -Evanescence

11. Naughty Girl -Beyonce

12. Let’s Get It Started -Black Eyed Peas

13. My Boo -Usher and Alecia Keys

14. She Will Be Loved -Maroon 5

15. The First Cut Is the Deepest -Sheryl Crow

16. Toxic -Britney Spears

17. Someday -Nickelback

18. I Believe -Fantasia

19. Breakaway -Kelly Clarkson

20. Slow Jamz -Twista

21. Dirt Off Your Shoulder -Jay-Z

22. Freak-A-Leek -Petey Pablo

23. The Way -Clay Aiken

24. Numb -Linkin’ Park

25. Dip It Low -Christina Milian

2005

1. We Belong Together -Mariah Carey

2. Let Me Love You -Mario

3. Since U Been Gone -Kelly Clarkson

4. Hollaback Girl -Gwen Stefani

5. Boulevard of Broken Dreams -Greenday

6. Don’t Cha -The Pussycat Dolls and Busta Rhymes

7. Candy Shop -50 Cent

8. 1, 2, Step -Ciara and Missy Elliot

9. Gold Digger -Kanye West

10. Don’t Phunk With My Heart -The Black Eyed Peas

11. Drop It Like It’s Hot -Snoop Dogg

12. Shake It Off -Mariah Carey

13. Disco Inferno -50 Cent

14. Behind These Hazel Eyes -Kelly Clarkson

15. Beverly Hills -Weezer

16. Just a Lil Bit -50 Cent

17. Lose Control -Missy Elliot

18. How We Do -The Game & 50 Cent

19. You & Me -Lifehouse

20. Soldier -Destiny’s Child

21. Rich Girl -Gwen Stefani

22. Mr. Brightside -The Killers

23. Oh -Ciara and Ludacris

24. Pon De Replay -Rihanna

25. Hate It Or Love It -The Game and 50 Cent

2006

1. Sexyback – Justin Timberlake

2. Hips Don’t Lie – Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean

3. Promiscuous – Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland

4. Everytime We Touch – Cascada

5. Temperature – Sean Paul

6. S.O.S. – Rihanna

7. Beep – Pussy Cat Dolls

8. Waiting On The World To Change – John Mayer

9. Pump It – Black Eyed Peas

10. You’re Beautiful – James Blunt

11. Maneater – Nelly Furtado

12. Single – Natasha Bedingfield

13. What Hurts the Most – Rascall Flatts

14. Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It – Dem Franchise Boys

15. Walk Away – Kelly Clarkson

16. It’s Goin’ Down – Young Joc

17. Dance, Dance -Fall Out Boy

18. Smack That – Akon & Eminem

19. I Write Songs, Not Tragedies – Panic! At the Disco

20. We’re All In This Together – High School Musical Cast

21. Ms. New Booty – Bubba Sparx

22. How To Save A Life – The Fray

23. Rompe – Daddy Yankee

24. Check On It – Beyonce Featuring Slim Thugg

25. Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

2007

1. The Sweet Escape -Gwen Stefani & Akon

2. Girlfriend -Avril Lavigne

3. Irreplaceable -Beyonce

4. Before He Cheats -Carrie Underwood

5. Crank Dat -Soulja Boy

6. Rehab -Amy Winehouse

7. Umbrella -Rhianna

8. Hey There Delilah -Plain White T’s

9. Glamorous -Fergie

10. I Wanna Luv U -Akon

11. Bubbly -Colbie Caillat

12. Walk It Out -Unk

13. Don’t Matter -Akon

14. Fergalicious -Fergie

15. Lip Gloss -Lil Mama

16. Candyman -Christina Aguilera

17. Break It Off -Rhianna

18. S.O.S. -Jonas Brothers

19. Stronger -Kanye West

20. Thks Fr Th Mmrs -Fall Out Boy

21. Pop, Lock and Drop It -Huey

22. Shut Up and Drive -Rhianna

23. Because of You -Ne-Yo

24. Home -Daughtry

25. Tattoo -Jordan Sparks

2008

1. So What – Pink

2. Just Dance – Lady Gaga

3. Leavin’ – Jesse McCartney

4. I’m Yours – Jason Mraz

5. Gives You Hell – All-American Rejects

6. Damaged – Danity Kane

7. Shake It – Metro Station

8. Love Story – Taylor Swift

9. When I Grow Up – Pussycat Dolls

10. I Kissed A Girl – Katy Perry

11. Don’t Stop The Music – Rihanna

12. Burnin’ Up – Jonas Brothers

13. Low – Flo Rida featuring T-Pain

14. Calabria – Enur featuring Natasja

15. Love Like This – Natasha Bedingfield and Sean Kingston

16. 7 Things – Miley Cyrus

17. Lollipop – Lil Wayne

18. Pocketful of Sunshine – Natasha Bedingfield

19. Circus – Britney Spears

20. Summertime – New Kids On The Block

21. Our Song- Taylor Swift

22. All Summer Long – Kid Rock

23. Closer – Ne-Yo

24. Viva La Vida – Coldplay

25. See You Again – Miley Cyrus

2009

1. Boom Boom Pow – Black Eyed Peas

2. I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas

3. I Know You Want Me (Calle Oche) – Pitbull

4. You Belong With Me – Taylor Swift

5. Lovegame – Lady Gaga

6. Don’t Trust Me – 3OH3!

7. Please Don’t Leave Me – Pink

8. Right Round – Flo-Rida

9. Poker Face – Lady Gaga

10. Goodbye – Kristinia Debarge

11. Say Hey – Evan Taubenfeld Michael Franti & Spearhead

12. New Divide – Linkin Park

13. The Climb – Miley Cyrus

14. Best I Ever had – Drake

15. Good Girls Go Bad – Cobra Starship Featuring Leighton Meester

16. Lucky – Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillet

17. Waking Up In Vegas – Katy Perry

18. Paranoid – Jonas Brothers

19. Wanted – Jessie James

20. Fire Burning – Sean Kingston

21. Not Meant To Be – Theory of a Deadman

22. Love, Sex and Magic – Ciara & Justin Timberlake

23. Use Somebody – Kings of Leon

24. Day N Nite – Kid Cuti

25. Hoedown Throwdown – Miley Cyrus (they let us learn the dance at res)

[your-fave-transboy]

My SVU Headcanons - SFW

These are just random things that I've thought about or put into fics, usually things I can't begin to explain. I do not own the characters, I just use 'em for personal enjoyment. I'll probably add more to this as I go through the seasons. I have an NSFW version saved bc I'm a thirsty young bisexual, but I could also be tempted to do individual headcanons.

Olivia can cook. Like, even before Noah, my woman could throw down some mean Thanksgiving meals. She seems like she'd make bomb ass comfort food.

Munch 10000% watches Buzzfeed: Unsolved an has roped Fin into watching it with him. (He likes Shane more than Ryan)

Rafael has read all three of the Fifty Shades books. And seen the movies. He doesn't enjoy them, but he has read them.

Sonny still makes old school mixtapes burned onto CDs even after playlists gain popularity. He has notably made Southern Lady Jams for Rollins and Badass Bops to Hum in Court for Barba.

This is straight up canon tbh. Olivia has slept with Alex, Casey, and Barba at least once. She has a lawyer fetish

Elliot Stabler can sing surprisingly well. I have no proof, just a feeling in my spirit. His go-to song of choice is obviously old bc he's ancient, like Elvis or Sinatra. Neither of which are super old but yeah.

On the note of music, Sonny can play the piano bc he had to learn for church bc he's a good lil Catholic boy. Plus his fingers are perfect for plenty of things if ya get what I'm puttin' down.

Rollins will purposefully thicken her Southern accent and say y'all've't to fuck with Rafael, our favorite grammatically correct king.

Fin has gone to Pride with his son if just to protect his boy (after he gets over all the usual homophobia and shit)

Fin has also drunkenly kissed Munch, and they both argue that the other person started it.

Huang would easily be attracted to Rafael bc who wouldn't? They're both smart and have a dry kind of humor that goes underappreciated at times.

Olivia will fight a transphobe, especially in later seasons. This is a personal headcanon mainly meant to make myself feel better :)

Elliot can tie a cherry stem with his tongue, same with Alex.

Rita Calhoun and Rafael have had sex in his office at least once. I am sure of it.

Casey plays softball in a lot of fics which I support whether its canon or not, but she is probably so ungraceful otherwise lmao. Like home girl will trip over air when not wearing heels.

Rollins brought home all kinds of animals as a kid, ranging from stray dogs/cats to the occasional raccoon, and once a squirrel.

Alex likes rap music. Akon is her favorite after the release of "Smack That", but her favorite song would have to be "Beautiful". Runner up rappers are Kanye and Nelly.

On the same hand, Olivia likes country music, new and old. She plays it when she's mad bc everyone else hates it until Rollins shows up. When mad at whoever she is dating, Olivia will play Gretchen Wilson's "Redneck Woman" at full volume.

I am a firm believer that Munch likes cats. I will not be giving an explanation as to why at this time.

Rita does not enjoy defending the scum of the earth, but is afraid of starting over somewhere else. She has entertained the notion of moving to SVU and working with Rafael. Rita also struggles with alcohol abuse because of her feelings for the job.

Sonny likes Broadway musicals because of his sisters. His favorite is Hairspray or Les Mis. (Mine is Phantom of the Opera tho, same as Rafael, I'm convinced.)

Elliot likes to play games on his phone. Shit like pac-man, tetris, and temple run. He will play temple run all through quarantine.

In my head, all these assholes are bisexual. It just explains all the tension tbh.

Everyone who has walked through the SVU doors has thought about sleeping with Olivia. Gay, straight, bi, doesn't matter. Everyone wants to fuck Olivia.

Sonny, Rollins, Rafael, Casey, and Alex have "Olivia Benson Fan Club" t-shirts.

Rita fosters cats.

Huang likes video games. Not FPS or anything violent, but shit like Minecraft/Stardew/Animal Crossing because they're simple.

Sonny plays laser tag in his free time.

Olivia has gotten in plenty of bar fights defending women and will gladly use her badge to get out of charges.

Olivia speaks Italian, Russian, French, and Spanish in canon. She talks to Rafael in Spanish and Sonny in Italian. She calls Rafael Querido and Sonny mio amico.

Sonny protects women in bars and clubs, wards off strange dudes and frat boys but like politely? He kills these assholes with kindness until they leave.

On the other hand, Rafael aggressively flirts with predatory straight men. Homie does not hesitate.

After Casey is suspended, she ends staying at Liz Donnelly's place a lot. They become a couple via accident kitten acquisition.

Law and Order: SVU - NSFW

#law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #svu #olivia benson #sfw #john munch #rafael barba #dominick carisi #sonny carisi #amanda rollins #elliot stabler #rita calhoun #casey novak #liz donnelly #alex x olivia #olivia x casey #casey x liv #olivia x rafael #barson #barisi #cabenson #rollisi