#i'm begging you please not to believe everything you read on the internet

[valiantvillain]

I have a Masters in Classics and I dare not touch anything about Greek mythology on tumblr because over half of it is people trying to make their headcanons canon, uncited nonsense, and straight-up making shit up, all of which ends up becoming my job to clear up for a lot of clearly passionate but misguided college kids. Remember kids, don't just believe it because it's on the internet and sounds cool. Always look for cited sources and check reputable sources to see if they lend any credence to the claim. This also extends to pinterest, twitter, and most other social media platforms.

#psa from your grumpy neighborhood classicist #trust experts not cool-sounding headcanons #rule of cool doesn't apply to history #cite your sources dammit #don't spread misinformation #check the validity of everything #greek mythology #greek myth #headcanon isn't meant to be canon #ancient greece #classicist #i'm begging you please not to believe everything you read on the internet

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

why do so many people keep calling ed izzy's abuser? I thought it was kind of funny how wrong they were at first because I love being right but at this point I feel like, if you really believe that why do you even like this show? where the main love interest is a violently abusive indigenous man? that sounds boring as shit. what would possess the writers of the show for them to make such an awful decision?

but then I think, if this many people believe it does that mean I'm the one who's wrong? or is it that the creators fumbled that storyline when they should have been clearer about it? or maybe it's just that most people on here have had their reading comprehension scorched away by Sherlock Holmes conspiracy theories and Steven Universe discourse. I can't tell. sometimes I think the internet may have been a mistake.

No they're wrong here's what's going on. People all read this shitty fic called Hell or High Water where Ed was everything the Izzy stans say he was and then instead of realizing that Ed is sad everyone regressed into thinking that the Kraken Era TM was going to be incredibly violent, like serial killing blond men because they look like Stede levels of violence. Even if you didn't read HoHW you saw art or read fic from people who had engaged with this fic and succumbed to it's premise. So there's been this background radiation of misunderstanding what the Kraken is on the fandom for several months. So inevitably when Ed did some mild violence and then attempted suicide by threatening murder until the crew took matters into their own hands, which is not abuse or torture by any stretch, btw, it's a murder-suicide at worst (I say at worst because I consider it fuckery-suicide I don't think Ed was trying to kill people I think he was trying to force them into a situation where they thought it was kill or be killed so that they would choose to kill him, but that is my interpretation and you are free to think it's a botched murder-suicide I have no problem with that), which, murder is something the show has never condemned and if it did it would be horribly inconsistent. So anyway, Ed's whole Kraken Era was categorized in the show by him being sad and doing so many drugs and begging someone please god anyone to kill him and trying to break Ned Low's record out of the evil boredom, but because it had a murder-suicide element to it and Izzy's toes were getting removed and he waved a gun around at everyone once (in a way that felt to me like he was trying and failing to work up the nerve to blow his own brains out but I digress) people who liked HoHW and were mad that people had called it out were like "see hes being violent HoHW author vindicated" as if anything Ed did rose to the level of that fic

And you want to know how I know this read is bullshit? Because when I watch the show with people who don't read fic or interact with the fandom and then I gauge their reactions without showing my hand they all implicitly understand that Ed is reacting to Izzy in a way appropriate to how pirate captains react to threats from subordinates. The spectrum of reactions has been from "hey isn't it weird how Ed was the Kraken because his dad was abusive and now he's the kraken because of Izzy? Maybe there's something there but idk" to "I don't think you can apply the logic of domestic abuse to a pirate captain and first mate but also Izzy had it coming" to "I cannot feel bad for Izzy after last season, I'm sorry." To "lmao Izcel" and I've showed this show to roughly everyone I know. The only thing I can conclude from the fact that people who don't engage with OFMD fic almost unilaterally thinking that Izzy is in the wrong and then coming online to see people thinking the opposite is that Izzy as victim and Ed as abuser is pure fanon, like how Stede is a cinnamon roll who talks like Azeriphael.

But anyway yeah you're completely right about the fact that this would be a bad show if they decided to make Ed into a domestic abuser. I don't want to watch a rom com about a domestic abuser falling in love and I don't want a show that decided to make it's indigenous lead abusive when the stereotype of indigenous men as abusers is still to this day used as an excuse to separate indigenous children from their families and put them with white Christians in order to erase their culture. Good thing OFMD didn't make Ed abusive, so I still like the show.

#ofmd #our flag means death

[highdreaming]

Preferences: You being involved in a cheating scandal

💢 All the works are pure fictions, for entertainment purposes only so please, read it at your own will.

Find more at: Masterlist

» Pedri + Gavi + João Félix

AN: Please like, reblog and give me feedback!

Also, give me cool ideas for these preferences, I'm liking doing them.

--

Pedri 

When some photos of you allegedly cheating on Pedri are posted on the Internet, Pedri is gonna be very cold and distant towards you.

All the loyalty proofs you’ve given him during your relationship are ruined by the seed of suspicion that is now planted on Pedri’s mind. 

He can’t shake away what he’s seen and read online, all those accusations about you. Those incriminating photos: what if he doesn’t know the real you? What if you did lie to him about having an affair?

How can he trust you?

All of these doubts are gonna make Pedri distance himself from you, shifting to a more gloomy mood and everyone notices this change, especially you.

You assure him over and over again that you’d never cheat on him, that it’s not even you in the photos. It’s simply a similar girl with her back to the camera - you don’t even have those clothes. 

You do everything you can to convince Pedri that those are lies, but he still ends up asking for some timeout to think. 

Eventually, after a short period of time being miserable without you, Pedri realizes that he should have trusted you and he’ll beg you for forgiveness.

From now on, he’ll stay miles away from whatever fake rumors involving you. 

Gavi

Gavi is confused as hell, but also upset. Many questions haunting him: is there any reality to the rumors? He definitely doesn’t want to believe in it and he loves you so much that he’ll just pretend like nothing has happened.

He just shakes his head and convinces himself that it’s all a bunch of shitty lies, none of them true. But deep down, he’s gonna be insecure about it. 

If you don’t mention the scandal, then neither will he. He just lets it go, pretending like nothing ever happened. But Gavi is gonna change, becoming possessively clingy.

Always trying to be around you when there are guys involved and doing his best to keep them away from you to the point it gets utterly suffocating with your boyfriend trying to keep you to himself at all times.

He’s so moody and snappy when he sees you looking towards another guy and it drives you crazy when he literally starts fights with random guys just because they looked at you. 

It eventually leads to a fight between the two of you and you’ll end up finding out that he’s insecure about the possibility of those awful rumors being true. 

Once Gavi realizes that you’re innocent and it’s just the crazy fans creating drama, he’ll be much more at ease, going back to his normal self, deeply apologizing for all. 

João Félix

João is kinda used to being swamped in dating and cheating scandals.

His previous relationship also had the same issue and with time, he learned to ignore all the jealous people in the world and to focus on what really matters: you. 

He knows for a fact that you love him so much that you barely even acknowledge the existence of other guys. You love him just as deeply as he loves you. 

So, his response is simply to ignore the rumors. If you try to explain yourself to João, don’t bother: he’ll brush your worries away by assuring you that he knows that it’s just some pathetic gossip, that he trusts you with his life and that you don’t need to explain yourself. 

He goes as far as posting a few memorable moments you two spent together on social media, making sure the haters know that he’s living his best life with you and that no one, much less random strangers online, can destroy your relationship.

That’s how much he loves you. 

End of story. 

-----

#@highdreaming #football preferences #footballer imagine #footballer fanfiction #football fiction #football imagines #pedri x reader #pedri imagines #pedri imagine #pedri blurb #pedri headcanon #pedri fanfic #joão félix x reader #joao felix x reader #joao felix imagine #joão félix imagine #joão félix drabble #joão félix fiction #joão félix blurb #pablo gavira x reader #gavi x reader #gavi imagines #pablo gavira imagine #gavi blurb #gavi x you #gavi fanfic #gavi x yn

[dilvuc]

❝FALSE❞

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: angst

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗: male

𝖙𝖎𝖙𝖑𝖊: false

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: cater diamond x ???!m!reader (+ riddle/trey)

𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌: cyber bullying

𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞: cater was bullied on magicam by a user who's desperate to ruined cater's lives. the mysterious user spread false rumors about cater which lead people to believe it and bullied cater which push him to his limits.

cater has been cyber bullied on magicam because of those false information spreading on the internet. he was losing a few followers and been receiving a lot of hate comments. he tries his best to ignore it and pretend that everything was fine by putting up a forceful smile. he didn't want to show anyone in the dorm and you about how he feels about this.

"Shouldn't you be off Magicam? Those comments are really hurtful. Are you alright…?" trey asked the ginger. cater clench on his phone as he reads the hateful comments, he then chuckles softly while rubbing the back of his head, "Hahaha~ They're just hateful comments. It's no big deal…"

"Cater, it's a huge deal. Whoever spreads false information about you, they need to be stopped." the vice dorm leader furrowed his eyebrows.

cater brushes it off, "It's fine, really! It doesn't bother me…!"

"Liar. Look, let us—" cater pushes trey out the door before he could finish the sentence. "I'm fine! They're only trolls! Buh-bye~"

"Cat—"

slam!

cater leans on the door before sliding on the floor and quietly sniffling leading to a soft sob. outside of his room, trey let out a worried sigh.

"Still no luck?" riddle frowned.

"He's trying hard…"

the red haired housewaren gritted his teeth, "Those false information. Whoever is spreading them, must really hate Cater…"

"It can be anyone in this school or maybe outside? I can't imagine Cater being hated on. Should we tell [Y] about this?" trey asked. riddle nodded, “While doing so, we should find who's responsible for the misinformation.”

cater stroll through the comments, only to find more and more hateful comments. it broke him, whoever posted these must be jealous of him. the ginger tosses his phone across the room before going back under the blanket and continues to sob quietly.

his door was barged open, startling the ginger. cater turn to the door to see the one and only person he trusts and loves: you.

“Cater!” you called out for the ginger. cater sniffled, “[Y]...”

you rushed over and embraced cater. the ginger dug his fingers into your uniform and buried his face in your shoulder, making himself feel safe in your arms. you gently comfort him, “It's ok…I’m here. Riddle and the others are searching for the culprit. Don't worry.”

“...Please stay with me?” cater begged. you nodded, stroking the ginger’s messy hair,

"...You're safe now. Those people don't matter to you. I'm all that matters to you.”

no one have yet to realize that it was you who spread false information to keep cater from the outside world and tricked him into thinking that you are one and only person who can protect him.

╰┈➤ author note: please note that this is a slow update. i will still accept your request, but it will take a while since i'll be working on my books on wattpad. if you wish to read those books, here's my wattpad account.

rules

twst masterlist

❝false; you're the culprit❞

#male reader #yandere male reader #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twst #twisted wonderland x male reader #twst #twisted wonderland #cater diamond #heartslabyul

[folklorebae]

𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 𝐀𝐔 - 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐 𝐅𝐢𝐜

Cast(s): Actress!Reader & Actor!Suna Rintarou

Warning(s): Swearing, slut-shaming, reader is using she/her pronouns, slight semi x reader

A/n: I recommend you to read my drabble first. But this could be read separately

Liked by sydney_sweeney and 5,946,073 others

yourinstagram un cappucino s'il vous plaît

tagged: @bellahadid

View all 28,745 comments

bellahadid Love you, ma fée🧚‍♀️

Liked by yourinstagram

rintarousuna Me after downloading duolingo

↳yourinstagram 😀😁😐🤔

↳ynfan1 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THEM!

ynfan2 SHUT UPPP. THIS WHOLE WEEKEND YOU'VE BEEN SLAYING😩❤️‍🔥

yn.sassy Another day, another slay

↳ynln.xo Perioddd

7,659 likes

itsunadaily WIRED Interview ft. Rin and Y/N is out now!

View all 214 comments

sunafan1 PLS PLS PLS THEY'RE SO FUCKING ADORABLE

↳sunafan2 IKR

ynfan3 Okay okay, I'm curious. WHO IS Y/N'S S/O?

↳ynfan1 I think it's clear that there's something between them

↳ynfan3 I thought Rin has a gf? I mean, that mysterious girl?

ynfan4 I NEED TO SEE THESE TWO AGAIN! CANT WAIT FOR THE SEASON 2😩

Liked by atsumumiya and 4,825,948 others

rintarousuna Thanks @wonderland and everyone who played a part⚡️🖤

Order now.

View all 22,864 comments

yourinstagram Damn boy, can I get your number?

↳rintarousuna I'm taken, sorry

↳ln.dailyyy Atp I don't believe you guys are just friends

aquariusuna JAW ON THE FLOOR

sunafan3 RINTAROU SUNA THE MAN THAT YOU ARE

netflix [CAR CRASH] [GLASS SHATTERING] 'GOOD LORD!' [GENERAL COMMOTION] [BABY CRYING] 'WAAAAH WAAAH' [YELLING] [POLICE SIRENS] WEEWOO WEEWOO [HELICOPTERS] 'WE'RE REPORTING LIVE-' [EXPLOSION] 'MY LEG... MY LEG...' [DOGS BARKING] ARFFF ARFFF 'OH MY GOD MY CHILD!!!' [CRASHING BUILDING] 'MY FUCKING HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!!'

↳ynfan5 Bro... you good?😭

↳ynsangel I believe this is an easter egg for season 2

11,736 likes

rintarouflorals RUMOR (via deuxmoi): Rin was seen with Y/N in Paris

P.s I beg all of you to not believe everything you read on the internet. Please keep the comments respectful, thank you.

View all 753 comments

sunafan4 Isn't it obvious that they're more than friends?

↳sunafan5 Maybe, but I think people should leave them alone and mind their own business lol💀

sunafan6 I will never trust that stupid gossip page

sunafan7 Idk bout you all, but Rin and Y/N don't make any sense

↳ynfan6 FINALLY. Someone say this! They don't give any romance energy imo

21,858

florenceflorals Florence via instagram story!

View all 275 comments

florencefan1 OKAY BUT Y/N IS IN FRANCE RN?!? I WANT TO MEET HER

↳ynfan7 She has been in paris for a week😭 That ig story is from yesterday

↳florencefan1 WHA–😭

florencefan2 Are we going to see Ms. Flo and Y/N work for the same project again👀

↳florenceflorals 🕯manifesting🕯

florencefan3 Y/N and her are together. Those people who ship Y/N with Eita or Rin could go😍

ynflorals I LOVE THEM SM OMG😭❤️

Liked by privyn and 31,837 others

rintarousuna.com RINTAROU FUCKING SUNA VIA IG STORY

P.s GOODBYE Y'ALL IM DEAD RN. THIS ACCOUNT IS NO LONGER ACTIVE

View all 3,846 comments

privyn My bf is hotter than hell

↳sunafan8 Girl, he's OUR bf

↳privsuna lmao

sunafan9 Oh God... Idk how many people died because his whore behavior

ynfan8 FUCKKKK I JUST ORDERED HIS MAGAZINE AFTER THE WEBSITE IS GOING DOWN FOR AN HOUR AND NOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS THE AUDACITY TO BE THIS HOT

ynfan9 @yourinstagram, ISTG you're the loml. But babe, I am this close 🤏 to steal your man

sunafan10 WHY THIS PIC IS TAKING ME BACK TO THAT VIDEO EDIT WITH "WHY'D YOU ONLY CALL ME WHEN YOU'RE HIGH" AS A BACKSOUND?!?!

37,975 likes

enews The fans have been speculating about L/N and Semi's relationship for months. But after attending his concert last night in Paris, the "I Know Places" star was seen having dinner at César Paris with co-star Rintarou Suna. Click the link in bio for more👀 (📷: Instagram/Getty)

View all 535 comments

ynfan10 You guys need to stfu and get a life. Leave my girl alone

↳ antiyn1 Your fav is a hoe, just admit it lmao

↳ ynfan10 "TPWK🌸" in your bio is bs. Your fav is ashamed of you lmao

semifan1 Ok but imagine being that pretty and people make rumors between you and these two fine men🥲

privsemi Wtf is wrong with these people💀 @privyn

↳privyn Apparently netizens can't see a woman supporting her male friend😍

sunafan11 Rin ily, but you and Mr. Rockstar need to leave and let me be with Y/N

44,748 likes

lnandsuna.media “I don't think I owe anyone an explanation about it (his romantic relationship). For now, both of us have agreed to keep our relationship out of the public eye and as long as we're happy, it doesn't matter what strangers think about us.” — Rintarou Suna for Wonderwall, 2022

View all 3,639 comments

ynfan11 Um... where is this coming from?😭

↳lnandsuna.media papz took some pics of him with his girlfriend kissing in the alley earlier this year

↳ynfan11 OH YEAH SHIT. I JUST REMEMBERED. THANK GOD WE CANT SEE THE GIRL'S FACE.

sunafan12 Even deep down I wanna know his girlfriend's face, these paps should leave them alone omfg.

sunafan13 I feel so sorry for him, he deserves better:(

ynfan12 Paps need to chill omg. What if that girl isn't a celebrity and suddenly everyone in her life knows that she's dating a famous actor?

↳sunafan14 That girl is a public figure (my aunt used to work for her stylist) and everyone around her knows her bf

↳ynfan12 So what if she's a public figure? She deserves a privacy

↳sunafan14 I didn't say she didn't deserve privacy. I just said that she's a public figure

Another a/n: I'll do a part 2! (If you wanna be tagged lmk) Stay tuned mwah<33

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x female reader #haikyuu x f!reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu smau #hq x reader #hq x female reader #hq fluff #hq smau #suna x reader #suna x female reader #suna x f!reader #suna fluff #suna smau

[teddybeirin]

hello and welcome to: begging for help for me and my cat, the threest 🎊

now with CAT TREATS!! the first and second posts in the line have died, and we are still a long ways away from getting safe housing for us & our cat!

our name is Teddy & we've been trapped in an abusive household for the entire 21 (soon to be 22) years of our life! I need help getting me & our cat safely out of here as soon as possible, cuz things have continued to get worse & in the past few months we've made so much progress but that progress has come with escalating harm done to us (and Baby) by our family.

the gfm has more details, & I'm going to update it when I can.

I've been eating a whole lot of not so good (read: spoiled and/or unsanitary) food cuz that's basically all my family will allow me to eat on a regular basis, have been running on empty, & have been paying the price for not being able to keep up with what family demands of me. I got permission to go out and get a regular job, but after that was given our family has spent a lot of time flip-flopping between trying to intimidate us out of leaving the house & trying to manipulate us with promises of change, so things have been going slower than snails.

If you have the means, please donate to help us get to safety!!

but besides donating to the gfm, there's other ways you can help us out! we do artwork, which you can commission us for (ooooo)

and there is of course reblogging this post, retweetening its poor tweet companion on the currently-burning-down tweeter, sharing this gfm anywhere else you like if you have other places you feel so inclined to link to it from.... and!!!! most importantly!!!

now YOU can give our cat even more than she already has

I've set up a wishlist of not-essentials, stuff that's to add on to what Baby already has to make the hell house we live in as comfortable as it can possibly be (when you live with a bunch of awful people who want to hurt you), to enable anyone who would wish to do so to have the joy of giving Baby things she will love.

a couple of things on here are things I'm planning to buy later on but put on there in case anyone wants to help me get them early to get her used to them before moving time finally comes (like a new carrier since my family holds anything I'd need to take her out hostage)

I will post updates with Baby's responses to her new gifts from generous internet peoples should she get any. i still can't share pictures of stuff that could get us in more danger if this ever by some horrible turn happened across our abusers, but my promise of Baby pictures when we're out and safe still stands.

PS: I heard you people like useless checkmarks. I've got one that's even more useless for you:

it's heart shaped because you're a Verified Reason To Believe In Humanity for any amount of help you give to get me & my Baby to a safe place. i am still so amazed that this has gotten as far as it has, even as far as we still are from finally having a good place to live in, i never thought i'd ever come this close to having safety, days and nights with no fear, access to good food and everything i've been denied for this long, all of this wouldn't be in the realm of possibility were it not for the kindness and generosity and warmth that you all have shown us so far. im feeling truly hopeful in ways i never thought i could feel. words cannot express the gratitude i have for you all!! 🧸

#cassia times

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Eyes, Internets, etc.

Okay! I successfully ate in the Denny's without sunglasses today! Our nearest Denny's has, like, spotlights on every table. It has been really painful to eat in restaurants like that, and shop, but I am getting better.

It's still not super comfortable for me to read. I'm not a fan of my surgery results thus far, but a big part of that is I'm not getting much aftercare. "Will my eyes improve to the point that I can once again look over and read my spouse's computer screen, a social interaction I value a great deal?" I wonder. "Your appointment has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances, please reschedule it," says the eye doctor. This is the one local person I've found who specializes in binocular vision dysfunction, whom I contacted after self-diagnosing. Nobody else had any idea why I was sick and in pain.

I'm an individual. I went into this with an obvious unique issue (my left eye impairs my binocular vision) and a bunch more less obvious (autistic, problems healing, multiple chronic health issues, etc) only some of which these people bothered to ask me about and then, like usual, they forget all this information and treat me like the default. "Hey, these eye drops don't work!" *crickets* "Yep, okay, back to doing my own research and buying shit off Amazon in case it helps."

But, I am improving. Me and my arsenal of OTC products which may or may not be helping but I'm getting real sick of my eyes not working so I'm throwing everything at the wall to see if it sticks. I'm going to try to get back to the feed and the social interaction. I've tried before and it hasn't been any fun, but now I can eat in the Denny's so we'll see.

The world moves on and stuff's been happening during my extended hiatus. Just to tick off two major things I would've written way more about: There is no justification for genocide, and wow, I gave money to con-artist and plagiarist James Somerton. One of these things is VASTLY more important than the other, but I have less of a personal stake in freeing Palestine. I think I've done all I can to back away from my country of origin and its propensity for letting a little ethnic cleaning slide when it's politically feasible. But I could've done better research on my donations.

I haven't been fucking READING much for the past couple years. Not, you know, books. It's been taking more effort for me to read books, even though I'm still probably reading just as much across various websites (and my own writing and editing). Well, it's still an effort, and I don't know if that's going to change much. Because, once again, I believed people when they said something would be easy to fix and improve my quality of life. I'm sure it's been easy for them, but it's never easy for me. Jury's still out on my "quality of life," which everyone is always very concerned with until it requires some extra effort on their part.

It might still be fine. It just won't be because doctors pay attention and care about me. It'll be because people generally heal and are fine. You can get away with a lot when human bodies are fairly resilient.

Last week, when I needed a refill on some goddamn heartburn medication that a gastroenterologist said I ought to take for the rest of my life to reduce my risk of developing cancer, my family doctor threatened to withhold it because... I haven't been in for a while. I've been back to the specialists I had to beg him to send me to, multiple times, and he has access to my records (and somehow missed my most recent blood work) but apparently he needs to talk to me about...?? I don't even know what, but I bet he'll tell me to take more herbs. ...If he doesn't altogether say he didn't want me to make a phone appointment, he wanted me to come sit in his office and deal with the lights and noise for some reason. We'll see.

I can't... There's not even a word for it, but I can't divest myself of this person and stop him from viewing my records and violating my privacy. Leaving your family doctor in order to not have one is not a thing Canada allows. Obviously, you want a family doctor! Especially if the only alternative is not having one at all! You need one! That may be the case, but this one is kinda low-key trying to kill me and there aren't any others. I would rather have a clinic OKing my prescriptions and sending me to specialists. At least they wouldn't pull bullshit like cutting off my heartburn meds because they might want an update on my thyroid which they should not require me to give them. Or, you know, if they did, I could at least go to another clinic.

This guy can't even remember how to pronounce my name. He's clearly reading it off a piece of paper every time. If and when I change my name and gender officially, I hope it either bothers him so much he fires me as a patient, or it kills him. Those are kinda my only options for getting rid of him. Wow. I'm praying for a guy's death and it's not even one of the ones doing the genocide - man, I'm selfish.

Oh well. This'll be another stressful week with more medical stuff, some of it unnecessary, but maybe I can get back to the feed tomorrow. And maybe I'll be able to draw without making myself sick soon. This too shall pass. I dunno if I'm gonna like where I end up after it passes, but it will pass.

Then I'll have a whole new thing to deal with.

#vent #updates #doctors #eyes #bleh

[captainofthetidesbreath]

You get so many asks like that because of your holier than thou attitude. For weeks you have treated anyone who is less than knowledgeable about Huston films HORRIBLY. You get so uptight and angry about those who you think should apologize for their bad analyses and then hide behind a mask of indifference when you’re wrong like being right doesn’t matter the entire world to you.

I think you need to apologize to those people who you tried to hurt by making them feel stupid when your analysis was actually wrong. You are not better than any of us.

If you think I'm holier than thou, then just block me. It's quite simple.

It's not a mask of indifference because I genuinely do not think this matters the world to me. I'm saying things on the internet for fun. I engage in a debate of ideas on the internet for fun. I love talking to myself about what I've observed in the fandom like an Italian American grandmother chattering to herself about the people walking by on the street, and I'm just as insane about it.

If you think I'm actually angry at people I disagree with on the internet, you're reading emotion into my posts that doesn't exist. I am at best annoyed, and I will say that. But angry? That's far more emotional investment than I've had energy to put in these days.

If it helps, I come from a background of media studies academia and script writing workshops. I don't take it personally when I'm wrong, I don't take it personally when someone disagrees with me or my theses, and I expect others not to take it personally when I disagree with them. Everything is always "take it or leave it, it's my opinion".

Genuinely, I have not been angry with anyone over the past few weeks. At best, I've been mildly incredulous. This is because, actually, I do not have an emotional investment in the discussion and forum of ideas in this fandom. I don't have emotional stake here. I'm making commentary and responding to what I see around for my own entertainment.

If you feel stupid because a stupid bitch like me on the internet says something, that is something you need to work on in yourself. I beg you to please stop taking so personally the opinions and posts of random strangers like me on the internet who are just shooting the shit and making comments into the breeze. I'm someone who is talking to myself out loud on a bus.

Block people who upset you or learn to separate yourself from how you believe others perceive you.

#Legitimately. I don't care about being wrong and I don't care what other people. #I've been accused of being an ice queen; sociopathic; cold-hearted; unfeeling unempathic bitch with how much I do not care. #Like. I do not have emotional investment in the discourse and forum of debate actually. I engage in it for my personal entertainment. #Critical Role things #CR

[widows-writings]

Maybe I am a little fucked in the head, but maybe I'm tired of people telling me they're uncomfortable with me without telling me what the hell they're uncomfortable with.

Please tell me. Is it my want for accurate representation in media? Is is the fact that I side with BLM? Is it the fact that I talk politics? Is it because I wanted to show my tattoo? Is it because I fucking left a place that was going to kill me mentally? Is it because I don't understand social situations? Is it because I don't know how to have friends? Please enlighten me?

I've been lonely most of my fucking life barely have friends that stuck around for longer than 3 months, average: a month. I don't have friends. I have people who use me and step on me when it's convenient. The internet is the place where I can shed that shit and put it out there. Nobody cares, nobody wants to comfort, all they do is use and abandon.

Today is my day off. I could be hanging with friends, going to the mall, or going to a movie. But I've gone to a movie 2 times with friends. Once was to it chapter 2 and the other was to the Batman. People stop talking to me, people don't want me. I'm a toy, played with and dropped when something new and shiny shows up. You want to talk about being the friend left behind on the sidewalk? I was never invited. I can't even count how many times I was considered the social piranha and nobody cared to tell me, they just called me their friend and then never invited me to things. It's so bad I'm starting to tell myself my mom would call people, begging them to come to my birthday party.

You see, I wanted the life where I had friends to hang out with, and nobody wanted to invite me. Nobody wanted to be around me. They never told me what was wrong with me, they never told me anything. I've been yelled at just for explaining something, I've been belittled and made the butt of the joke because I'm not as good as the others. When I expressed that I was uncomfortable with someone they told me I needed to stop. Be nicer.

If I could, I would make every single one of those fuckers feel the pain I feel, I would show them how fucking lonely I was. How depressed I've been. How many times my heart broke when I realized that they were doing shit without me. Fucking again.

Wanna know why I'm better socialized with adults? Because they're the only people who would fucking talk to me. They were the only ones who would laugh at my jokes and tolerate me.

I've been so lonely. So fucking lonely and Everytime another person leaves, stops talking to me, it just reminds me that I'm not a good friend, that I probably fucked up along the way. I tired. I tried to be better. I tried to fit in. To be cool. But nobody liked me and nobody told me how to be better.

The only criticism I ever got was from my mom who told me that I was fucking weird, and bossy and selfish, it was the only thing that I took to heart. I stopped demanding things for myself, I stopped being nerdy, I stopped doing the things I loved and I made sure that everyone was put before me. I've stayed up and talked to people while they wanted to commit suicide, but when I was told to kill myself nobody believed me. I have covered for people time and time again, but when I needed cover, there was nobody. I've actually vomited while at work. I've cried. I've been in pain. I have hidden everything.

So when people started bitching about being away from the people they loved, the people they cared about, and I wasn't on that list, I took quarantine as an example of how real life was going to go and holy shit I was right. Ever since I left college, I never saw a single friend again. People stopped talking to me. When I moved I thought people would want to message me and say goodbye. They didn't even say hello.

Either way, this post won't be seen, this post won't be read. This post will melt into the abyss that is the internet, and I will never ever know what it's like to have friends that will come over when I'm upset and hug me. I will always know what it's like to be alone, to be someone who sits on a couch, listening to music, watching TV shows over and over again.

I will always...be alone.

[ryosmne]

Calling out AOT simps.

Hey again, I did this last time with jjk, here's the aot version cause I felt like it, been pretty sick recently and bored out of my mind. This isn't ment to disrespect anyone, everything I say is meant as a joke and not to be taken to heart. I included the characters I already have an opinion on, idk maybe I'll expand the list. Anyways enjoy reading :>

Hange simps: Ok I see y'all, you're valid af, Henge is Hella hot but on a serious note how's your mental health doing? Carrying your friends issues isn't fun, pls take a break, have a cookie and sleep in fuzzy blankets you deserve it. They'd treat you like royalty, I can't roast you, congratulations on your choices. Either just as insanely upbeat as them or very relaxed and you need a person with a very upbeat personality to keep you leveled. 10/10 you're sweethearts and I've never seen an army of simps as hot and with different styles. Casual indie music enjoyer<3

Levi simps: You have attachment issues. There I said it. It's been like what? 9 years since the anime came out and you're still so down bad for this man ever since he baybladed his way into your heart. Most of y'all would drop every anime crush for him, he's top dog for you. Let's face it no one could get him to open up but I don't think you're ready for this conversation. Your family knows about Levi, your friends know about Levi, you're probably never letting him go. For that I'll say you're extremely loyal also you have unrealistic standards in dating. Pretty sure you're great cooks. You have low-key adapted his personality and you're badasses. Also valid 10/10 I think you like chill rnb, idk I can't read y'all.

Mikasa simps: You fell for her cause she's hella strong and gorgeous, she deserves the world and so do you, but for the love of God if I see another word about the unspeakable things you'd do with her menstrural products im coming for your internet connections. I'll skip the obvious need you have for her to beat you up, I love her too I'm down bad for her but I get my daily dose of grass touching, y'all should try it too. I hope you know she hasn't washed her scarf ever since eren gave it to her. 9/10 you need to chill, fucking mappa made us all feral. Dark clothes, You listen to mitski.

Eren simps: Welcome to group therapy, do you want to share something with the circle or shall I go first? :> You have extremely unhealthy habits. No you don't need more caffeine for today, I beg you have a sip of water and some fruit. You don't care if he destroyed everything on earth as long as you got destroyed by him too. You probably read a lot of modern au fics to escape the pain (don't be shy drop your recs in my comments pls, it's a need at this point). If you started the simping campaign in season four you probably simped for Levi before that. You now have a thing for long hair and man buns now. Dog person, alternative look idk I picture y'all with piercings and tattoos. You believe in traumatising people back, who am I to judge? How does it feel to have your entire simp list be villains? If mikasa simps need to touch grass y'all should probably go to a field and start chewing it up, you know what I'm talking about, I won't elaborate. 15/10 if you also simp for his Titan form, bmth enjoyer, if you don't know what music to play you go an Eren Jaeger playlist.

Reiner simps: Who hurt you? I'll just say it, daddy issues. You think you can be a therapist to him, probably give him comfort, you can't I'm sorry. I feel like he'd treat you ok, but please stop going after people who have issues it's not good for you. But I feel you he's so hot and troubled also honkers. You have a thing for big chested anime men, probably also a toji or Nanami simp, dare I say Yami? Can I be honest tho I really like y'all, you're chill and gorgeous with taste, I can ignore the mental health issues too cause this man is something else. 20/10 you give me grunge music vibes.

Armin: Smarty pants, you like control. I low-key think you're a bit crazy in a good way, you seem very calculated but lmao every decision you make is last minute :') you are very well spoken and seemingly calm. He'd treat you great I can't roast you at all, I'm sorry. 10/10 very good choice, let the rest of us burn, dark/light academia aesthetic, I think you get down to some K-pop.

Jean simps: People of culture, you're also cocky like him but not as hot headed. Another man that would give you the world, I also can't roast you, you make better decisions than I ever did in my life. MCU fan. You have a thing for side characters, I think you always like someone other than the MC. You have a thing for hands. 10/10 great street style looks, classic rock enjoyer.

Erwin: Unhealthy, he'd lead you to death just so he could see that basement. He's a crazy bastard, make better choices, you don't deserve to be eaten by titans. You have a thing for authority figures. -100/10 I picture y'all in sundresses and you'd look amazing, you deserve better.

#a happy ryosmne #aot fandom #aot headcanons #eren jaeger #aot imagines #aot #snk fanfiction #levi x reader #mikasa x reader #eren scenarios #eren jeager x reader #hange x you #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #erwin x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #mikasa ackerman #levi attack on titan #levi aot #levi and hanji #levi ackerman #armin x you #armin x reader #armin arlet x reader #armin aot #erwin smith #shingeki no kyoujin imagine #snk #eren x you #eren yeager

[en-hale-archives]

Please read !

I've just been notified that an anon has spread false information about me to a creator whose work I am very fond of (@//fallinforgyu) and I am highly frustrated and on the verge of tears.

Here is that post:

This is highly upsetting and I can't read this properly without wanting to scream.

I started this blog in May of 2021, it hasn't even been a year yet. You can scroll down to my first post and see that. so I don't know what "quite a while" stands for, but being less that a year long isn't much.

This is my secondary blog, my main blog is "en-theheights" where, yes, I made it when I was a sophmore in high school, 4 years ago, when I was 15 (I created it cause I was a huge fan of the disney series Andi Mack. It's mostly for the western series I watch now, like 911 and other shows). I am now 19, and I rarely ever post on my primary blog. You can go and see that I post very rarely, if at all.

I don't use Twitter. At all. And I have ever posted, commented, reposted, or whatever the fuck else you an do on there. I go on there every now and then on my crusty dusty account that has ZERO followers to check in on what Enhypen is posting and when they are trending, as well as my other hobby which is watching Thai and Korean dramas. That's it. I have NEVER messaged anyone on Twitter, nor has anyone messaged me. And I have never been in contact with ANYONE on Twitter. Ever. like never ever in my life. And I just made that account back in August of 2020.

This is the last time I'm going to keep having to repeat myself. I am 19. I turned 19 February of this year. I made this secondary blog when I was 18 in May of 2021. It is now April of 2022, and I am 19 years old. I am 4 months older that Sunoo. I have my age posted in my Carrd account, which you can find on my pinned post that is linked to the pink "about !". It has always been there. This entire time. I'm sorry, I just realized my age isn't posted in my bio, but it is now. 18 is the legal age in the US, where I live, but I'm not even 18, I am 19.

I have in my bio for people to not interact with me if they are under 18, why in this big giant world, would I say that if I weren't even 18+..?

I come on here to have fun and write for a group that I love. I was just coming on here today to look through my request and write something cause I had the motivation for it. I took a long period without writing due to personal life shit, and I didn't think I would have to deal with stuff like this where I come to relieve stress. and Instead, I'm shaking with all types of frustration. I believe this is the same anon that crapped on me for my interpretation of Jake in a recent fic of mine, and I gave two fucks (and still don't). That is cowardly of them to continue to harass me cause their views were different than mine of an INTERPRETATION of a fic about enhypen. a fictional story about enhypen. At this point, I think I'm just going to delete it, and move on, cause this is a bunch of foolishness and has caused more problems for me than I have ever had in my entire Tumblr life.

If there is anyone that can get in contact with me to please get in contact with the en- writer @//fallinforgyu, I beg that you do. And please let them know this anon is spreading false information. I adore that content writer with everything in me, so please, if anyone can (@//fallinforgyu has blocked me bc they believed anon when they said I'm a minor, I am not, for the umpteenth time.)

I like to keep my personal life private off the internet. I'm not going to post my fucking birth certificate or driver's license so that I can satisfy such a cowardly anon. But I am 19, and I have never lied bout my age, nor have I ever talked to anyone on Twitter. Period.

I am going to continue writing bc that is what I love to do. I do this for fun and when I have the time to. I don't have time for an anon who got their feelings hurt and is deciding to take it to other accounts. Please, if you can, message me if you would be willing to talk to fallingforgyu for me!!! PLease, please, please!!!!

#enhypen writer #!kay! writer #!kay! writes #deleting some tags so i don't clog their spaces! #the situation has been handled! #thank you all!

[kpopcanonsforchie]

a/n note:

hello everyone, this is my first hc on here so i hope i make a good impression! tysm for reading if you do i really appreciate it!

Rumors?! (Part 1) sub!taemin x gender neutral dom!reader

845 words 4,498 characters

warning the following may contain: degrading, brat kink, swearing, sexual tendencies.

It was kind of obvious that Taemin had been dating someone, I mean the whole subject practically broke the internet. Everyone was talking about it like if it was a boy or a girl, if they were a celebrity, or were they from a group. You hadn't really payed that much attention to it unless people brought it up to you.

You were talking with a close friend and producer of Taemin's when the topic changed for whatever reason you seem to not remember.

"Well, I've been told your quite the submissive." he said jokingly.

"Q-quite the submissive?" you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

"Pfft where did you here that from?" you laughed.

"From Taem (a nickname of taemin) of course, he wouldn't stop bragging about it to me one day. Talking about how needy you were on the first try. I at first didn't believe it but he seemed so descriptive." he explained.

"What do you mean? What did he say?" you queried.

"Well he said you were all over him like a loose canon if you will. You wouldn't stop the dirty talk throughout the day. And would make almost anything sexual." he added. "I don't know exactly what he said. I was kinda distracted. but something of the lines of that." he yawned.

"Oh well that's funny, I think he maybe forgot what really happened ; I don't recall it happening that way." You smirked deviously.

You look towards the producer as you grab your things.

'I can't believe he though he could get away with making these rumors about me.' you thought.

"I best be on my way, I've got work to finish back home. I enjoyed talking with you. Be safe, I'll see you soon!" you smiled and bowed slightly.

"No problemo! Peace out, hope you finish that work of yours." he cheekily grinned.

As you walked out the building, you reached for your phone to text Taemin.

'I'll like to see you tomorrow. Seems you've been caught in some trouble.'

You finally got home to prepare for the next day. A day that will include punishment.

The day had came and you Taemin had decided to go out and have some fun since it'd been a quick minute since you two had actually went somewhere for fun. But this time, it was different. Everything he did seem to be more and more sexual. At first you thought it was your dirty mind but then you started to realize it wasn't and you purposely tried to ignore it to tease him.

He would do the most scandalous things. If he would bend over to grab something, he'd purposely have his ass out in front of you and would sometimes grind against you. Or would be a little too buddy buddy with people. Touching them in areas only couples do. While in the back of a car would touch you in certain places like your inner thigh while looking the other way and very quietly whimpering. Or he would sing the song 'Slave' in the back of the car and would say "it's just for practice".

you give me a rewarding kiss and a selfish wish baby i'm a slave for you

he purposely sung by your ear.

This went on all day until the both of you finally reached home.

You pulled him by the collar of his shirt inside aggressively but he was shocked and a little happy.

"You've been such a naughty boy today" you said.

"You've been spreading rumors about me. Telling people how needy I am of you but that's the complete opposite. You've be practically whipped for me all day." you said with a deviously tone.

"I know you've been trying to turn me on throughout the day with your dirty antics. grinding against me and flirting with others to make me jealous. And you know what,it's been working." you added.

Taemin smirked at yours words. "So it's been working, I have been a dirty boy haven't I?" he put a finger to his lip in a cute innocent fashion.

You grabbed him by the jaw and said "Don't test me and try to act innocent. Your far from it you filthy bastard." you hissed.

You started to unbutton his shirt to leave marks on him. You nibble at his ear and sucked at his collar bone. He squirmed trying not to put a hand on his mouth and suppressed his whines and moans like the brat he is.

"Trying to suppress yourself from making those disgusting noises? I still know your so needy for me brat. Look at your pants." You whispered in his ear.

He looked down and saw the stain on his pants. "Fuck! Why can't you just fuck me already seriously?!" he moaned and pleaded. He bucked his head back in pleasure and you kissed him up and down.

"You fool, brats don't get what they want. Especially ones like you." you chuckled in sadistic sarcasm.

"B-but b-but , ngh" Taemin couldn't bring himself to beg.

"Please miss/sir, I promise I-i promise that I'll be good." he huffed.

to be continued will revise later

share for part 2! ;)

part 2

read my other fanfics :

blanket (bam bam x reader) published 9/29/20

#taemin #sub!idol #sub!kpop #dom!reader #spoiled brat #kpop headcanons #kpop male reader #shinee #boy group #mommy kink #degration #superm #bratty #kpopidol #kpop solo artist #kpop soloist

[vnshkk]

Let's talk about Kyo's media blackout.

It is with a slight reluctance that I post this. It's not wise to mention Tanuki online nor share what they talk about within the overseas fandom for a multiple of reasons. 

1. I don't want them to get angry at me

2. I don't want the overseas fandom to flip out and judge the Japanese fandom

3. I just want everyone to be chill and happy and flowers

But I've seen a lot of people freaking out, a lot of random theories floating around and people worrying so I wanted to post this theory and open it for discussion. 

Of course this isn't fact. It's pure speculation. But given the timeframe, PERSONALLY I feel like this may have had something to do with Kyo decision. 

So I post this with two DISCLAIMERs. 

1. As mentioned this is not in any way fact. There is no proof that Kyo does or doesn't look at Tank. I simply find it interesting the sequence of events, the timing of the media blackout and I am only translating this for those who are interested. I hope this doesn't cause any huge arguments or any bad blood. It's simple here to discuss and consider.

2. Please do not judge the whole fandom based on Tank. Just like any forum, any comment section on the world wide web; there will be people who leave negative feed back. It is a tiny portion of people and not a reflection of the Japanese fandom as a whole. Judging them based on what they said would be like someone looking at negative comments or sarcastic jokes on Tumblr and judging the English speaking fandom. That's not to say what they post is okay, but it's just dumb shit posting and shouldn't be taken to heart. 

you get me fam?

Okay, so I contemplated posting screenshots and translating what happened immediately after Kyo changed his profile picture up to when he deleted everything but as I said I don't want to be taken out by angry tank users so I'm just gonna translate a selection of posts. 

These posts are taken from the Meg thread (remember the girl linking arms with him at a concert? That's Meg.) which to be honest is a shit show. It was a thread born from those notorious pics and for over a year now has remained a place where people post rumours, shit talk, complain and just make shit up a lot of the time. So please, AGAIN, bare that in mind. It is a place of negativity born from a scandal that shocked a lot of the fandom. Aint nothing nice ever gonna be said there. Periodt. In reality a lot of the people who post there are still fans of Kyo. I think they're just still a little hurt by the way it came to light about Meg. 

After Kyo posted his new picture I checked tank before going to bed because I was curious about what their reactions would be and everyone had exploded. During the 7 hours I was asleep Kyo deleted everything and left the internet forever so tbh given the fact he was probably bored in a hotel in Fukuoka, just did a radio show, probs wanted to see peoples reaction, etc I personally, believe he was on Tank. This is a running theme in the thread itself and people often say he actively browses it (this is not a major thing, a lot of guys in bands browse tank same as celebs browse twitter. Why Kyo would look at the meg thread in particular? idk. ) 

SO TLDR 

Yesterday around 7pm the thread suddenly changed to mixed reactions after Kyo changed his Twitter pic. 

"His new twitter icon had me shook lol" 

"I hope he changes his instagram one too" 

"Idk I don't like how quickly he's become some kind of social media old fogey" 

"Kyo's turned into a social media monster too" (*edit; my bad Yuchi is beer monster, Shinya is social media monster lol)

"It's kinda cheap" 

"I get you, it's like he's lost his values" (probably because Kyo has always made big deal about how much of himself he shares) 

 It continued like that for a while with people more or less saying the same thing until he posts about leaving social media.

"He just suddenly said he's not gonna do social media anymore" 

"lol after he went to all the effort of changing his profile picture" 

"I'm shook" 

"annoying 40 year old nut job" 

"Bet you he came on here"  

"Do you normally change you icon then quit" 

"Join Kyo online" 

"idg why even though Kyo's had so many haters since he first started twitter he's suddenly affected by it??" 

"I still think he's cute even when he's sulking like this lol" 

"I knew he was looking at Tanuki"

"I don't get why he's suddenly deleting it after all this time?? It's like what is this old man on about?" 

"It's lame how he's making such a big deal of out saying he's quitting" 

(lots of people agreed with this post saying that he's acting childish)

"I wonder what happened? Like everything seemed fine recently. I mean we'll never know but like I'm sure he has a lot going on.." 

"I can't believe he basically wiped his instagram clean but left all the pics of cake and omurice lmao" 

"If only he'd go to sleep earlier and eat a banana the serotonin would fix everything" 

The random comments and mixed reactions continued for all of Friday.  One of the main points that stuck out after the initial reactions was how people began to become suspicious that this was merely a tactic to get people to join Kyo online with people claiming this was typical of business man kyo,  that it was about that time of year where they usually begin to advertise and promote in order to get new members. 

So, allow me to play devils advocate for a second. As someone who is a member of Kyo online I have to admit since he started posting more and more online (compared to hardly ever on Kyo online), the membership has become more or less invalid. In the past it was worth the money for the videos and pictures that as fans we rarely saw. But if he's going to post them online then it raises the question (tickets to concerts aside) is there any point in being a member if you can just get the content for free?  I'd imagine that this plays some kind of role in why the reactions are often negative. Members of Kyo online have suddenly gone from having something exclusive that was only for them, to simply being a part of something anyone can access. 

Another point someone brought up is that whilst it's acceptable for Kyo to be upset. It is very, very childish and the timing is selfish.  Sukekiyo literally made their instagram days ago and suddenly Kyo states how he isn't going to post online anymore. This act instantly casts a negative feel on Sukekiyo's insta. It almost gives a vibe that any picture Kyo is in might be "against his will". Kyo is not new to criticism. He's been in this game for 20 plus years. Everyone who is in the Indies scene knows about Tank. Every fan, every bandmen, knows it's a bad place filled with mostly shit posting and rumours and doesn't represent fans a whole. 

The meg thread is simply fans flogging a dead horse, posting any poor Japanese girl with a straight fringe and some tattoos, anyone who looks even a little like Meg and saying she MUST be a groupie of Kyo. Which begs the question why would Kyo go there? Why would he look at that? Why would he want to subject himself to that kind of thing and then punish the majority for some dumb comments a few bored fans made? What was he expecting by going there?

Of course there is no proof Kyo lurks. But the reality is he probably does, I mean he's only human, he' s bound to be curious about fans reactions for Madara, etc and where else to get honestly reactions than an anonymous forum? Personally, as someone who has lurked tank for a few years now, I think he reads it. There have been times in the past where he's mentioned certain things, done certain things and I've thought "hmmm that's weird tank was literally talking about that". But once again there's no proof. It's just one of those vibes you get sometimes. (one major one I can think of is during the interview for mode of gauze where he said everyone massively complained about it. I know people can submit questionnaires after lives but I feel that a lot of Japanese people are more brutally honest when they can hide behind anonymity. ) 

Considering the "staff" posted a pic of his feet on the sukekiyo instagram today, I feel like this is just Kyo being (sorry to say) butthurt and it might just blow over.  A lot of the comments mention his age, mention how he's clearly trying and failing to copy 20 year olds by using insta, that he's lame or cringe and that's gonna hurt anyones pride. But I honestly think Kyo should be looking at the billions of comments on instagram of people who love him rather than a few trolls online. 

So with that being said I hope this was an interesting read and gave a little insight into why Kyo is often private. It was a big deal that he was posting so much and actively using instagra. I for one was very happy. I believe that in this day and age it is something that is required in order to engage with your audience and keep a good relationship. Hazuki and Ruki are good examples of this and Ive been saying for the longest time I wish Kyo would get more on board with it. So it's a shame he's left at the first hurdle. 

Oh well. This is why we can't have anything nice isn't it. 

#Kyo #dir en grey #instagram #translation #sukekiyo #drama I don't like drama why can't we all just be chill #remember this isn't fact its just my theory

[little-dragon-stories]

Forever linked

Part 10: bullshit related

After a hurtful breakup she didn’t see coming, y/n is back in her country. But soon, she discovers that the man she has to forget is now linked to her, forever.

W.C 2554

Warning: some bad words

It was all over the tabloids, the social media and even on the news. You didn’t have to search at all, as soon as you opened the internet, you knew exactly what Jiyong was talking about 2 seconds ago via texts.

"A close source to the singer is very scared for Bigbang’s leader G-Dragon, his mental health and the future of Bigbang. According to that person, Kwon Jiyong has been in a toxic relationship for several years with this pregnant woman you can see on those pictures taken yesterday, she was also caught on camera a few times in the past but her “staff member” pass has made the rumors stopped fast among the fans. Apparently, she was G-Dragon girlfriend for the past 4 or 5 years”.

There were pictures of you and Daesung everywhere you looked. Those pictures have been taken yesterday as the two of you went out to buy some food at the grocery store. Although you don’t hold hands or kissed on the pictures, for someone who doesn’t know your real relation with Dae, you might look like a young couple.

« Our anonymous source says that for the last month of her relation with GD, she was having an affair with Daesung. Now she’s pregnant as you can see on the pictures and nobody knows who the real father is. This could explain why G-Dragon was seen in differents clubs for the last few weeks, often drunk, he must feel doubly betrayed by his own girlfriend and one of his best friend. Apparently he broke up with her, not able to trust her anymore.

What the hell? You needed to stop the video you were watching, taking your breath.

“Apparently, GD is denying paternity, he’s not ready to be a father and he agreed that Daesung would raise the child like his own even though nobody knows who the father is as I said earlier”.

Pictures of you and Daesung were displaying in the background while the commentator was talking. On all of those pictures, you looked like a cute little couple doing domestic things: carrying grocery bags, entering the pastry with your arms under his, getting out of there with a cake in a box smiling brightly, entering Dae’s building apartment. They have chosen the ones where you looked “close” to Dae.

On one picture, he has a hand on your belly, trying to feel your daughter’s movements. You remember what he was telling you then, it’s still crystal clear in your memory. He was laughing, talking about all the things he will do with her when she will be older. He was happy to have a little niece, telling you that you should give Jiyong a second chance. Nothing even close to what they said on the news.

«According to that person close to the band, this woman on the pictures is manipulative and constantly craving for attention, money and luxurious gifts. She even used psychological violence against both of the boys, threatening them several times. If that contact talked to the medias, it’s because she wants to help GD and Daesung before their constant fight force Bigbang to dismembered.»

You didn’t even know how to react to this crap. Are you going to cry or laugh? You would like to do both at the same time. You decided that it was enough for today, you have read enough bad things about yourself, you can’t take it any longer. Regardless of all that bad stuff that they said about you, what scared you the most is what your daughter will think about you, when she can read those articles a few years from now. Will she believe those atrocity? Will she think you tried to trap her father for his money? That you were a bad girlfriend to him? A bad friend for her godfather?

You heard Jiyong entered Dae’s house. As soon as he came in the living room, he kneel down in front of you, he obviously cried before he came in. With his hands on his face to hide himself from your sight, he even placed his forehead direct on the floor. The only thing you could hear him say was «I’m so sorry Kkul, please forgive me». You sat on the floor in front of him and as soon as he lift up his torso, you encircled his waist before you nuzzled your nose in the crook of his neck. That sensation, that feeling you have to be against him is so comforting, you could cry right now. You missed those cuddles so much, that proximity with him. With Ji by your side, you know you can face it all but that’s the thing, he’s not “really” by your side. You are apart now, dismembered from that wonderful duo you once formed.

«Jiyong, you didn’t call the media, it’s not your fault»

«It’s my fault, I chose to be with that girl, please forgive me Kkulie, please». It was difficult to say otherwise so you just stay silent, holding him closely in your arms.

«What have I done to deserve you Kkulie? How on earth are you not mad at me, are you an angel”?

“I am mad at your ex, I’m so fucking mad at her, I could scratch her eyes out and peeled her alive. You didn’t call the journalist yourself, Ji. You made a mistake, you chose a bad person to sleep with. That’s your only fault”.

“I don’t deserve you Kkul. I think I’m going crazy. I keep making mistakes one after the other since I broke up with you. I’m fucked up”.

You thighter your arms around him, dragging him closer to you. You can tell, he lost a lot of weight since you last saw him. Suddenly, his mood changed completely. He slided an arm between you and placed his palm on your tummy, cupping your little bump very softly, caressing your exposed bare skin.

“Hello my mermaid princess” he inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to collected himself. He was shocked by the news and overwhelmed to feel his little girl once again. Happier than he would have expected from a simple indirect contact with that little human growing up inside of you.

“Appa hasn’t take good life decisions recently but for you, I will always do my best, I promise you that. I won’t be selfish when it comes to you. And I want to be a better person for your wonderful mother as well. You know, your mother is the best you could have, right? I’m sure you know it already. Hey, you want to move for me my princess? You want to kick my hand?”

“Ji, she’s moving right now, like every time she hears your voice, I feel her, do you?” You placed his hand a little more on the left and applied a light pression where you felt the movement.

“No… I don’t feel her at all.” He was concentrate. “You still made her hear my voice, even when you were mad at me?”

“At least twice a day. I want her to know you, you want to be present for her so I made her listened to you. Thanks to your fans, she can hear your asmr”. He smiled and caressed your cheek softly before he placed a light kiss on your forehead.

‘Kkulie… Tell me what that monster told you, please. I’m begging you”.

You will tell him because he needs to know how she really is. You stood up and sit down on the couch, followed by him. Side by side, with his and your hand on your tummy you remained silent for a few minutes. He let you time to put your ideas in order. He has to know how mean she is, her real personality. There’s no doubt in your mind, everything she told you is crap, Jiyong could never said those words. What you shared with him was too precious, he wouldn’t talk shit on your back to her, a perfect stranger.

“She told me you were not happy with me, that you were feeling trapped, that I was not good in bed and you were not satisfied, she…”

“What the hell, you didn't believe those words right? You couldn’t believed this bullshit”.

“Well Ji, yes and no… you always had a more intense sexual drive than me…”

“Kkulie, it’s not even true, sometimes you were the one with the biggest drive, sometimes it was me. I was more than satisfied, we were having…”

“Jiyong, I know, I was there too. I know we had good sex. What I'm saying is maybe you wanted it more often or more... I don’t know. Let’s not discuss our past sexual life please, it makes me uncomfortable”.

“Kkulie, we couldn’t stop touching each other, sexually or not. You and me, it really worked, proof we had sex after our break-up because we were craving each other’s magic touch. Never doubt that, well unless you were not satisfied”.

“I was, you know it Ji. But thanks for comforting me. Also… the worst part. She called our baby a fucking ugly fetus and said that you don’t want her or me in your life, that you have no choice, shit like that”.

That’s when his tears fell down on his cheeks. Jiyong is a very discrete man when it comes to sadness, he usually doesn’t cry in front of other people. You can count on one hand the number of times you’ve seen him shedding tears. But now, it seemed like he’s not able to contain himself at all.

“Y/n, you don’t believe it don’t you? Is this the reason why you didn’t want to talk to me anymore”?

“I was protecting myself Jiyong. Even if I know you are happy about my pregnancy, the truth is you are still trapped with me even though you broke up. Your ultimate goal to be free, long time gone. You wanted your freedom and I accidently trapped you with the biggest responsibility you will ever have”.

He was about to answered when Daesung entered the living room with his girlfriend, sweating after a long jogging together. They were so cute, laughing and teasing each other, obviously non aware of the drama they were involved in.

“Ji, what a good surprise. You will eat diner with us?”

He came and replaced your hand with his on your belly, to feel your little girl.

“Hello princess, it’s uncle Dae. You must be happy your mom and dad are talking right? Kick if you agree”.

He probably didn’t open his phone at all. He doesn’t know the drama.

“Guys, there was a journalist outside that asked me if I was happy to be a father soon” he said smiling.

Jiyong stood up suddenly, making you jump out of fear.

“What have you said?” Ji was nervous, he placed both of his hands on Dae’s shoulders and looked at him in the eyes.

“What have you answered Dae, it’s important”.

“Well, I laughed and said I was not gonna a be a father soon. I said they must have seen me with my best friend and drummer teacher but she was pregnant from another man than me, but I told them I will be the godfather so you have no choice now but to name me he said, proud of himself.

Just like that, without knowing the drama that was playing in the medias, Dae had almost solved the whole problem. Ji was so happy, he hugged his friend and kissed him on the cheeks.

“You must have turned off your phone, open it now. I’m sure your voicemail is full. Also, look at this…”

He and his girlfriend laughed so bad, they were grabbing their stomach, crying from so much laughter. You couldn’t tell what was so funny, Jiyong either. You and looked at each other in disbelief.

“Well, forget all this Jiyong hyung, in 2 days it will be over”.

“I don’t agree Dae, it’s another fucking scandal, your country is very good at creating scandal where it would be just a little gossip in mine”.

“I agree with Kkul”, Jiyong add.

You really want to believe it, you wish Dae is right but you are scared it won’t be that easy.

“That’s the reason why there were journalist in front of the building, now I understand. Let me handle this please hyung. I’m having so much fun, please…”

“No, we need to elaborate a strategy with the compagny”, Ji said.

“Ji, maybe Dae is right. His attitude is so refreshing, people won’t doubt his sincerity. You are too tense, you wouldn’t be credible on camera. I think you should let Dae handle this”.

“Y/n… no. I’m not sure”.

“Hyung, trust me. I will make it better for the two of you, may I, please it’s too funny”

“Kang Daesung, the things they said about my girl aren’t funny at all, they dismissed her, they talked shit about her. We should told them we will sue all the media for the serious damage of her reputation.

“We might, if the thing goes on. For now, we should just try to act cool about it all, pretending like we don’t care. Otherwise, they will dig the story endlessly”.

“Jiyong, I think Dae is right. Let him act cool about it. We’ll see how things goes after that”.

And just like that, with his bright smile, Dae pretended to get out of his building and “oh, surprise there are journalists”. He and his girl had take a shower and dressed up for the night, blinking at you before they left for a night out, telling you you have a few hours to make things up between you and Ji, that you should use that precious time intelligently.

Dae laughed when the journalists asked him about the paternity, Jiyong and you. From a question to another, if you read his answers all together, it would look like this:

“No, I’m not the father of my friend’s child, the woman on the pictures you saw today is my best friend and drum teacher and she’s pregnant from another man. She lives here with me for a few weeks, by the time their apartment is ready. No, there is no doubt about who the father and it’s not me. I’m not going to tell you if she’s Jiyong hyung ex-girlfriend since it’s not my story to tell but hers. No, she’s not manipulative at all, she’s kind and caring and I will be the proud godfather of her child so please stop saying bad things about her, you will end up hurting my little princess as well. Jiyong and I are absolutely not fighting, he’s one of my best friend in this world and I like to believe that none of us would betrayed our friendship like that. Please, make sure you tell everybody that my friend is an angel, not the violent person you described on the news. If you see me and her together, please respect our privacy, she and her baby doen’t need to suffered from bigbang’s popularity now please, I have to go. Have a good evening”.

Just like that, with help from Daesung, the story started to fade away, little by little.

#kwon jiyong serie #kwo. jiyong fluff #bigbang kwon jiyong #kwon jiyong angst #bigbang #g dragon #g dragon serie #g dragon scenario #bigbang scenario #feat Daesung #bigbang g dragon #kwon leader #g dragon x you #g dragon x reader

[stone-man-warrior]

I have seen some of the photos of your leg and read your descriptions of the symptoms and I am begging you to go to the emergency room right away to have it treated. It looks like it might be necrotic, and the tingling pain you mentioned could be a sign of that too. I'm afraid if you let it go untreated any longer that the infection will kill you. Please see a doctor!

Anonymous person:

Thank you for the advice, I do appreciate the concern, and I agree with you that I need to see a doctor.

If you were able to see the photos, read the symptoms, and come to a diagnosis and some advice, then perhaps you won‘t mind reading farther, to understand why I am unable to see a doctor, I am no stranger to doctors, I am not afraid of doctors and I do not have religious beliefs that prevent medical treatment, that said, there is no reason why I should not see a doctor if conditions in the medical field are the way they should be in the state of Oregon.

The trouble is that there are no doctors anymore.

All of the doctors, all of the medical establishments of all kinds have been taken over by a terror army. The medical facilities are all occupied by terror soldiers, hospitals, clinics, urgent care, family practice doctors all inclusive. The terror army only treats the terror soldiers, they are Canadian, and they also treat Screen Actor Guild members, the SAG are the commanding officers of the terror army, so, the terror soldiers and the SAG get the very best medical treatment there is, while the US Citizens such as myself, are lured into the medical facilities to be killed, that is what the so called Corona Virus actually is, a bullshit campaign where US Citizens are injured, poisoned, are subject to any kind of way that the terror army is able to create symptoms such that a US Citizen will need to seek medical help, at the hijacked hospitals and urgent care facilities.

Having said all of that, you can learn more to save your own life by studying this tumblr account, but more importantly, I ask that you contact US Military, or US national security administration, please, to advise those people to read this account, as I am unable to reach public safety personnel of any kind, and have been trying to contact national security personnel for about two decades.

The terror takeover is not something that just happened recently, it’s been more than twenty years that those Canadian terror soldiers took over under command of SAG. They took over the police, sheriff, national guard bases, FBI field offices first, and those places have been occupies by professional actors who trained specifically to play role of police, FBI, national guard officers, and sheriff ... all of the public safety was hijacked first long ago.

They have already killed and replaced the Oregon population, and taken captive people who have special skills such as doctors and engineers, and those people are forced to serve the needs of the terror army.

I have been surviving while observing and learning about details of the takeover, and that is why this Tumblr account is here, to inform in effort to get some help to come to Oregon, US Military is required, I estimate their numbers as follows:

in Josephine County: 50,000 (Fifty-thousand) terror soldiers roughly occupy and run the county in such a way as to make it appear as though there is no problem here.

Jackson County: I estimate 75.000 (Seventy-five thousand) terror soldiers who run the county as if there is no problems.

Douglas County: 25,000 (Twenty-five thousand) Canadian terror soldiers run the county.

Klamath County: 25.000 (Twenty-five thousand) terror soldiers occupy the county. The Kingsley Field 173rd Air Guard Base is occupied and under control of the Canadian terror army, with impostor commanding offices who are actually specially trained Screen Actor Guild terror/actors who’s job is to act as liaison with other US Military while maintaining cover of the take over and occupation there. I was at Kingsley 173rd Air Guard on the day it was hijacked, I saw it happen.

Please contact US Military to advise them of this account.

Thank you.

======================

March 25, 2021: 4:55 pm:

That question came in from anonymous person about at the same time when the chipper/shredders were running out front of my house somewhere in the neighborhood.

I appreciate the question and advice, but fail to believe it is genuine. I feel the anonymous person is a special operative, one associated with Pain Specialists of Southern Oregon of Medford in some way.

In addition to my response, I want to make reminder that I have been seeing the same so called "Doctor" at the same clinic there at Pain Specialists since 2015 regularly with multiple visits per year, I showed the so called doctor that rash and begged for help, but the so called doctor refused to help, and refused to refer me to another doctor, and refused to even prescribe an antibiotic.

The reason is that the so called doctors at the Pain Specialists of Southern Oregon are exemplary of the conditions I explained that exist throughout the state of Oregon, they are not doctors, they are actors trained by Screen Actor Guild to play role of a doctor at a hijacked medical facility, and at Pain Specialists of Southern Oregon they serve the Screen Actor Guild with the drugs that the actors, musicians, clowns, and magicians of SAG prefer for their recreational drug use.

They also provide a service called "ClubMed Junket", there are plenty of entries about the details of what "ClubMed Junket" is, throughout this account.

There are no doctors in Oregon anymore, there are actors who play role of the doctors who used to serve Oregon citizens.

I have been going to Pain Specialists for a long time, there is much to say about that place beyond what is reported on this account, I continue to go in optimism that some US national security personnel will one day see what is going on there, and by doing so, learn about what has become of the entire medical establishment in Oregon. Every time I go there, I have to defend against armed terror soldiers inside the office, inside the exam room, and/or, in the parking area. Someone is killed every time I go. Then, at Walgreen's in Grants Pass, more attempts to kill me take place most of the time, after seeing the fake doctors at Pain Specialists of Southern Oregon.

I think the anonymous person who made the comments is a terror special operative.

I am surprised that a such a note was sent, to date, I have only received two such notes during the time this account has existed, and that is one of them.

Again, no one is interested in the terrorism.

==============================

5:52 pm:

Maybe some US national security persons are watching what I am reporting here. If so, please be advised that the Pain Specialists of Southern Oregon control the entire street they are located on, Bennett Ave., the whole street and more, is all part of an enormous terror cell, I say this with safety of such helpful persons in mind. You cannot enter the area of Bennett Ave without being seen, studied, followed, interfered with, fooled, led astray, lied to, and otherwise put into extremely dangerous conditions that may not materialize until much later, maybe days or weeks later. They will ID you, and study everything there is to know about you and from where you came from.

Pay attention to the cellular telephone tower that exists in the back parking lot of Pain Specialists of Southern Oregon, there are photos available on this account of the tower and the support building that houses the electronics the tower operates with. Pain Specialists is at 825 Bennett. On the right side is another Pain Specialists installation called Crater Lake Surgery Center, it's brand new, is less than one year in service. Think of the surgery center as a private hospital built by terror soldiers for terror soldiers. I suspect there are tunnels accessible inside that lead to other Asante facilities as far away as the ones on Barnett Road. I also suspect the tunnels reach the Medford International Airport. It's about a three-thousand square foot tiny hospital, it took the contractors more than three years to complete it. I saw big earth moving equipment drive out of the building at a time when the building was nearly completed.

Also, be advised of the place to the left of 825. a double wide manufactured structure next to Pain Center, is integral part of Pain Center and is where the cell phone tower is located.

That Bennett Ave area of controlled terror occupation is far reaching, honestly, all of Medford is an extension of the same conditions as I mentioned that exist on Bennett. Medford is the city where the "Pleasure Dome" is located, so, much of the purpose of each terror soldier that works the Medford area is specific to protecting "The Pleasure Dome". Please study this account to know why "The Pleasure Dome" requires seventy-five thousand terror soldiers to protect it. There are maps available on this account and the subject matter is extremely dangerous to talk about. I advise use of the maps I already provided, as an internet search for anything in that area will mark the IP Address of devices that made the search, marked for takeout for having looked at "The Pleasure Dome" area on a map online.

Pain Specialists will claim that I have not been going there since 2015. They will lie, their systems will support the lies they tell. They have never even looked at the MRI scan that was ordered by Dr. Savino (he is dead but somehow continues to see patients). Instead, they claimed at least a few times that my last name is Floyd, and they show a scan that belongs to someone by the name of Floyd, and claim that patient is me. Floyd has Spinal Meningitis as it shows on the MRI, he is bad shape with that. I am not Floyd. They never have looked at the scan they ordered.

Bottom line for security personnel, is the Pain Center will fool you, then they will have other special assassins stalk you with nitrous oxide/Medazolam gas mixture after they learn who you are.

I advise US Military, not a few FBI officers, to go to the Pain Center to stop global terrorism.

===============

My last visit there was March 3, 2021. I was followed there by some of the terror soldiers who have taken over Jackpine, the street I live on. Between the Pain Center, and the Walgreen's in Grants Pass, I was attacked and defended against an estimated thirteen terror soldiers, most of them were killed in defense that day. The weapons included poison gasses, a cross-bow, swords, and at least one machine gun that was fired inside of the Pain Center and a Volkswagen Passat Station Wagon that belongs to Dietrick's of 601 Jackpine.

These reports are not a joke, they are real, my concern for the safety of investigative people is real, that's why I am advising what I encountered on my previous visit, which was by far the most offensive attack I have endured there so far.

================

7:37 pm:

In more reference to the comment made by the anonymous person, I may be nit-picking when I correct the statement of "tingling" that was mentioned. I don't think I used the word "tingling" to describe the symptoms I am having.

The symptoms include:

Swelling of the foot.

Swelling of the lower leg upon overexertion (walking normally a short distance)

Pain of the skin associated with skin lesions, ulcers, open sores.

My main complaint above all others is the cold feeling in my toes and bottom of my foot. That cold extends to my hands on rare occasions. The cold feeling is persistent, it feels icy cold even if I apply heat to the foot, and feels icy cold within even when the foot is warm to the touch with my hand.

The most frightening symptom is the calf muscle pain, and the muscle that is anterior from ankle to knee along the shin, is directly beneath those big open sores. The muscles become very painful upon walking a short distance, as if I have ran a marathon and experience a charlie horse sort of extreme spasm pain.

There is a occasional feeling as if a long needle is inside of my toes, that happens when I step with weight on the toes, and as I squeeze them while massaging them to increase blood flow.

I can feel where the syringe needle punctured my skin, is deep within the tissue on the inside lower leg just above the ankle. There are two or three very tender places deep inside where those big open sores are at that spot. All of those big sores started out as tiny red dots, and increased in size and depth, and where there was two sores, those have joined as one, bigger lesion. The tender area deep within the leg muscle there is persistent, it's stayed constant, pain increases with pressure of massage there, feels a lot like a deep tissue bruise. Those are also the places where the skin is red in color, and that red is also persistent, does not change.

The skin where the largest lesions are on my shin is hard, has a cardboard sort of feeling to touch it, and that condition is gradient, where the condition of hard, cardboard-like skin varies from soft, normal skin, to that extreme of hard, almost plastic skin quality that is worst at those big shin lesions and is softer with distance away from the puncture areas.

Healing is slow. Some of the small punctures are not healing, some seem to be almost the same condition as they were in three weeks ago, while the shin area rapidly increased in size from a tiny puncture wound, to those big sores that are now the length of my shin.

I don't recall anything that I can describe as tingling as a symptom of these poison substance attack wounds.

[phandictioned]

I'm not trying to be pushy or anything, but will you ever post that prompt about the weight gain?

I’m sorry! I went through such writers block for a while. But you caught me at the perfect time as I just finished reading an angsty fic and was in the right frame of mind for something like this. Here you go! I hope you like it. I didn’t have the time to reread it for errors or anything so sorry about that!

AO3 Link

Dan’s mouth hangs open, eyes closed in pure bliss. Phil is leaving scolding, rough kisses along his jaw. His hands hold Dan’s body solid where they sit on the couch. They’ve been at it for a while now and things have only gotten more intense as the minutes pass. Dan’s aware of how sore his lips and tongue are but it’s certainly not something he’s concerned about. His hands are fisted in Phil’s shirt determined to keep him there forever even if Phil doesn’t seem inclined to leave anytime soon. Phil is panting against his lips and Dan can feel his heart pounding a hundred miles an hour where his other hand presses against the older boy’s chest. He feels teeth scrape gently along the pulse point on his neck and groans obnoxiously. Phil chuckles against his skin and does it again. Phil is so good at this. Which Dan is grateful for, though it also makes him wonder who he’s the chance to practice on and if he things about too hard the thought drives him mad. After all, they’ve been friends for years and Dan doesn’t recall seeing too many people trudge up the stairs to Phil’s room. There was that one guy…Kevin…

Dan however, is still new to this. Not the kissing Phil thing. That’s been going on since their realized very non-platonic feelings for each other were expressed a few months ago. And when they first met in person all those years ago there had certainly been drunken make out sessions that they didn’t speak of the following mornings. That had been a long time ago though. And Dan hasn’t been very…active since that time. Over those years a lot has happened. Him and Phil’s popularity sky rocketed, events happened, interviews occurred, they’d even started writing a book and for Christ’s sake. As their entire career involves the internet they’ve spent a lot more time on it as well. Yes, believe it or not this does all have to do with why Dan’s heart suddenly flips anxiously as Phil’s hand slides down his back and onto his hip, not so subtly playing with the loose part of his shirt. Dan’s eyes shoot open in panic. You see, all this sitting around on the internet, eating pizzas because the book gives them little brain power to think of something to make for dinner, existential crisis causing him to lay in bed till two PM…all of this has resulted in some weight gain. When Dan first noticed the changes to his body he tried desperately to change his eating habits. But Phil was no help to that as he enjoyed the pizza as much as Dan did. Why didn’t the bastard seem to gain weight at all, no matter how much he ate, thought Dan bitterly. His frustrated thought came out in a physical as he bit and pulled at Phil’s bottom lip. Phil yelped but the act only made him more excited. He pushed Dan down onto his back, forcing a breath out of the younger. Shit, shit, now look at what you’ve done, Dan curses at himself. Him and Phil hadn’t necessarily discussed the idea of sex in their growing relationship just yet. But it’s certainly been on their minds. But things are different now. Dan has grown up. He didn’t have the skinny, tanned, tight body that he did when him and Phil were last sexually active together. Dan hates that he cares so much about how he looks. He knows Phil. Phil is the least judgmental person he’s ever meant and the fact that he’s afraid of what the man will think of him is very unfair. He’s aware of that. It’s not as if Phil hasn’t seen him with his clothes off. It’s just…different now. Oh God. Dan says to himself as Phil’s hand inches up his shirt. His body is very ready to accept this touch but his mind starts reeling. He can’t let this happen yet. He needs to lose weight first. Yeah, that’s a good idea. He will put himself a diet right away and the Phil will never know how bad Dan has allowed himself to get. Dan releases his hold on Phil’s shirt and encircles the wrist of the hand that has continued moving under his shirt. His mouth still engulfed in Phil’s he shakes his head fervently, fear punching him in the stomach. Of course Phil is going to think that Dan simply doesn’t want to have sex with him. He’s going to think the worst. He’s going to think Dan doesn’t want him at all even that is completely, absolutely not true in the slightest. If it wasn’t for this slight problem, Dan would likely be shoving his hands down the man’s pants.His predictions of Phil’s thoughts are confirmed when the older pulls away, resting his elbows on either side of Dan’s body and looking down at him in hurt wonderment. His eyes begging for an explanation. He tilts his head to the side and Dan wants to cry with how horrible of a person he is. His emotion is apparently evident in his eyes. Phil reaches a hand up and brushes the hair from his face “Dan? What’s wrong?” His voice is so utterly pitiful, so sad sounding. “I…I just…can we…I don’t want to. Okay? I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.” Dan swallows the painful lump in his throat. “Shhh, it’s okay. I can wait for as long as you need.” Phil shakes his head in understanding. Or what he thinks is understanding. He places a chaste kiss on the boy beneath him’s forehead. “It’s okay Dan, really. It doesn’t change anything.”Dan’s voice comes out shakily. “Are you sure? You promise?”Phil smiles at him. “Of course I’m sure. I want you tonight but I’ll want you every other night too. But can you tell me why you don’t want to continue? Am I doing anything that makes you uncomfortable?” Dan lets out a short burst of laughter. “No. I just…” He averts his eyes, scanning briefly over himself and subconsciously. Trying to suck in his stomach. “You haven’t seen me…without clothes on for a while. I mean…not in a sexual sense.” Dan feels his face burning with humiliation. Phil’s eyebrows draw together in confusion. “So?”Dan’s eyes widen. “So? So I’m not that skinny teenager you used to make out with! The pizzas and the sleeping in and of my God.” Dan covers his eyes with his hands and groans. When Phil doesn’t say anything and he can’t handle the silence anymore he peeks from between his fingers. Phil has a cheesy smile on his face and is looking at him. Dan drops his hands slowly. “What? Don’t look at me like that.”“Dan, you are so, incredibly ridiculous and blind.”“W-what?” Dan replies uncertain of what Phil means.Phil snorts a laugh before pushing himself up into a sitting position. He takes Dan’s hand and pulls him up too. He places a hand on Dan’s cheek, stroking it and fiddling with his hair. He’s staring at Dan with so much affection that an unexpected pain burst through Dan’s chest. How could he look at Dan that way? He certainly didn’t deserve it. “Daniel Howell, since the day I saw that MySpace profile picture, and seeing you in person at that trains station, and staring across for you at that Starbucks, you’ve been the most beautiful, sexiest person I could ever hope to have in my life.”“But that’s the things Phil. That was when I was younger!” Dan tries to tell him. Phil only shakes his head. He takes Dan’s hands in his own. “I thought that a year ago when I woke up on my birthday and watched you make me pancakes in the kitchen. And when we spent an entire day doing nothing but play Mario Kart in our pajamas. And at that YouTube party where I watched you beside me, holding a drink and laughing at something I said that was probably not that funny.”“Phil-” Dan started, shaking his head and looking away. He was just trying to make Dan feel better. That’s what Phil does. He couldn’t mean any of this.“No. I’m not finished. And then there’s that time you fell asleep on the couch after having a little too much to drink and I wanted to kiss you so badly. Oh, Dan you have no idea how badly I wanted to kiss you in that moment and I couldn’t because you weren’t mine yet.” Phil closes his eyes as if recalling the memory. He sighs happily. Dan swallows, meeting Phil’s eyes when he opened them again. And still Phil doesn’t stop. The man leans close to Dan, whispering against his lips, his voice trembling slightly. “I’ve wanted you to be mine for so long Dan. And you are now and I love you. I’ve always loved you. You as a person, you as Daniel James Howell,” Phil tilts Dan’s head up to kiss him lightly, so gently that Dan almost doesn’t feel it. “You drive me crazy. Your body drives me crazy. I want to be with you Dan. I want everything about you to be mine.” Dan’s breath hitches as a hand snakes up his shirt again. Fingers tickle his abdomen and he’s squeezes his eyes shut in panic and disgust for himself. He’s about to pull away and Phil knows it. He connects their lips again, more fervently this time. He moans into the kiss and Dan’s body shutters as Phil’s hand skims across his skin. Phil pulls just a centimeter away to whisper something against his cheek. “Does it look like I care at all about anything you’ve just said? Tell me Dan.”“No.” Dan can barely speak the word but he knows it’s the truth. Phil really doesn’t care about how he looks. But he does care about he feels and that’s why he’s saying all of these things. Dan closes his eyes, pushing forward and kissing Phil again. Dan has a hundred negative thoughts about himself and no one has ever been able to change his mind about a single one of them until this moment. “Good. Now, is there any chance we can continue where we left off?” Dan grins against Phil’s lips and nods defiantly. “Please.”

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