#i'm so damned tired

[dustylovelyrun]

Okay, it’s getting a bit ridiculous, at this point - I’ve really been wanting to come back on here, start writing again. Took a very abrupt break somewhere back in February, after trying to slowly come back from a burn out, and right as I caught covid. But it’s just -

Every time. Every single time I look at the document, or at a page. Every time I try to write something. It’s in my brain. I have an image, or a vague concept. Just enough of a basis that I could get somewhere, you know?

But it’s not forming.

Not in a distinctly burnout, writer’s block kind of way, either. 

More like ‘oh, shit, covid might’ve done something.’

I’m so frustrated by it, because I want to do things again. Be able to write again. That’s been my main hobby since I was in middle school, an outlet, a place to explore, something to build. I have the loose concepts in my head. But I don’t have the ability to string together the words.

Genuinely, how the hell have any of y’all dealt with the cognitive, long-term side of it? Is there a way to just - work on it, maybe? Somehow? Dim it down? To get my brain to slowly piece itself back together? It’s a lack of memory, of words, it’s confusion, and fatigue. It’s like something’s weighing down my eyes, and stuffing my brain. It’s being able to see part of something, and maybe convey it, but then vaguely understanding the next and just not having the words for it at all or the comprehension for it when it should be there. It’s not the lack of ability, necessarily, but just a lack of those vital pieces that makes it happen and click.

I feel a bit like I’m going mad, honestly.

#i don't even know what to tag this as man #i'm so damned tired #and literally everything seems to've flared up since covid? #hypermobility and raynaud's and autoimmune issues #i haven't actually had a day where I wasn't sick this month because of flare ups and a damned virus a housemate brought back #and everyone's recovered but i'm NOT and I usually am by now #and the memory issues are really getting to me - #it's always been there y'know? #we figured out something might be wrong with my pre-frontal cortex just because it's ltierally everything there that's fucked #or in that generalized part of my brain anyway #but it hasn't been this bad since i was a teenager #fifteen to be exact #i could hold full conversations with someone and not know what the hell i was saying the second it left my mouth #or even when the thing I was saying was still forming #read something and immediately forget it #then go back and it'd just repeat #walk the same route twice every day but still get damned lost on it because i didn't know what came next #or comprehend something but suddenly just didn't because my brain'd take away a piece and then a second and a third #I just - #it's even getting to my writing and I don't actually know what to do anymore #it didn't get to my writing back then #and i always said I'd be fucking screwed if it did #i just feel so helpless and frustrated and upset and it's like a perpetual haze that's gone and fogged over my brain #and there's not really a way to distract myself from it either given how it's effected just about everything #i want to come back on here and do things and write #but i genuinely just don't know how

[nouverx]

Pov the cannibal overlords are judging your outfit (or discussing how they're going to cook you tonight, your choice 👀)

Based on very cool outfits for them I saw on twitter! Here's Alastor and here's Rosie

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin alastor #hazbin rosie #alastor #radiorose #digital art #my art #clip studio paint #YES I'm using clip studio paint for the first time in 3 years damn I missed that bitch #Welp that was tiring but I'm very happy with it #ALSO YES I KNOW ALASTOR'S HAND IS A BIT TOO HIGH I'M SORRY #by the time I noticed it looked weird I had already started painting and all of my layers were merged lmao #oopsie #please just ignore that detail 💃 #or maybe this one can be seen as not-so-platonic radiorose?? lmao

[ventique18]

Anyway here's the initial sketch of Farmer MalleYuu that inspired me to start developing a farming game. 🥔🥕🐮🐥 They just make me so happy tbh

It's my last semester in uni I'm trying to hold onto my remaining sanity

#I'm a full time employee who studies for uni during the evenings #I'm in my last semester of school #I do the dishes I do the laundry I do the cooking #God knows I'm TIRED #but I'm damn proud of myself for finding time to enjoy my little life #god damn it I'm tired #but twst makes me so happy #so I make a million love letters for it in the form of different media #i will write fanfics for malleus #i will make comics for malleus #i will illustrate for malleus #i will make games for malleus #he is my muse #twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #malleus x reader

[flowery-king]

[Defanged Philip AU]

omg imagine getting thrown inside the Emperor's mind and discovering he's actually kinda like you wouldn't that be funny haha (Heavily inspired by this scene from Turning red ggghhg)

#THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE SO LONG AAA #I was even gonna draw the portrait Luz sees that makes her go 'wait a damn minute' but I'm tired ghhhh #might add the portrait later I'm already putting so much effort into this :P #fgarart #defanged philip au #BASICALLY this is how I'd like to think Luz finds out he's human ghheh #a very different play of events on Hollow Mind #Ill explain if yall are interested :] #philip wittebane #luz noceda #SHE DOESN'T KNOW HE'S PHILIP YET BUT SHE CONNECTS THE DOTS SHORTLY AFTERWARDS #long post

[elizachariot]

Not as good as it could be.

#transformers prime #tfp ratchet #maccadam #tfp #transformers #ratchet #god damn I'm so fkng tired

[clockwaysarts]

💀👍

#i fell in a ditch and I'm so damn tired #dp x dc #dead on main #like chibi fish do

[heavendraven]

[REACTION SPEED - IMPOSSIBLE] Gracefully step OVER the cat

#my art #kazuma asogi #dgs spoilers #kinda but not really #dai gyakuten saiban #the great ace attorney #disco elysium #sorry it's been a while. it's my last finals week of my college career and I'm so damn tired #finished disco elysium recently and I have such insane brain worms about it. especially about jean #figured this style would be good for rendering practice and it turned out better than I thought #this is dumb lmao. hope too many people haven't done this already #also yes I gave him the vicquemare square as a background. don't worry about it #bro did not do enough speed before this check smh my head

[emptybucketoffucks]

No, but listen: what if Clark MF Kent writes SuperBat fanfiction as a way to deal with his feelings without having to come clean to Bruce?

And what if Bruce one day stumbles upon Clark's account (without knowing it's him), because he reads fanfiction FOR THE SAME DAMN REASON?

But then, he starts getting that strange sense of familiarity through the writing. First, he thinks it's maybe some accomplisehd author' secret hobby. Until, one day, he reads a sentence that is so quintessentialy Kent in its structure and turn of phrase that he knows, without a doubt, that Superman is writing kinky porn about them fucking on the hood of the Batmobile.

#SuperBats #superman x batman #clark x bruce #fanfiction #plot bunny #I'm too damn tired to write this myself so I'm putting it out on the universe #superbat

[clockwayswrites]

You don't see this either.

Ngl, prob not going to get lbfd up this week either place. This migraine (yep, I' have've had one for nearly 4 months now) is still kicking my ass and I have 3 new classes starting up this week to settle into teaching. So I might share some little bitty bits from various fics wips. Since you're all enjoying the fic I'm not writing...

---

“Red Hood,” Jason said as he collapsed dramatically onto Dick’s absurdly comfortable couch, “is apparently easy to seduce.” Dick, the dick, blinked at him before collapsing in laughter. “Oh my God,” he wheezed. “Danny has— and these are his words Dickie— thirst trap shorts.” Dick cackled. “Jay.” “Itty bitty red and black athletic shorts that say ‘RED’ on the ass— like a fucking brand.” “No.” “Yes. And he never even got to wear them to sparing because, apparently, Red Hood gave in quicker than he expected!” “He was seducing you,” Dick said with absolute glee. “Oh my God. Did he, like, have a twelve step plan or something?” Jason actually paused to consider that. “You know, knowing him it’s and fifty-fifty shot.”

#Do I enjoy throwing Dick into fics maybe too much? #yes #he's so fun to have react to things #dp x dc #dead on main #jason todd #dick grayson #no tagging cause I'm too damn tired #will tag when it's next a real part #the fic that i'm not writing

[marihem]

All I know is I just want to spend the majority of my life with you

The actual very first doodle where I finally put my QPR Frans idea on canvas. Man I really love thinking about queer relationships

Please feel free to ask me anything about their relationship too

#seriously i've spent many nights thinking about them #i'm very insane about them #dw the insanity is under control tho (i might be lying) #remember how i saw someone said- #'qpr is to relationships how non-binary is to gender' #'queer' also means strange/outside of the established standards so we can go nuts with our own meaning #man this is so damn cool #i could go on and on about this topic #frans #frisk #sans #sansfrisk #qpr frans #sans x frisk #frisk x sans #i would gnaw on my fingers hard if i'm not too tired rn #if you read all these tags i appreciate you <33 #my art

[aniseandspearmint]

About covid being over: are we just meant to put our entire social lives, our entire society on pause forever? My mental health plummeted during lockdown and will take years to recover. Now that there's vaccines and crowd immunity and less deadly strains we ARE meant to learn to deal with it as a given, the way we have with many deadly diseases in the past, and move on. So for the sake of life moving on at some point it's **normal** to treat it as a cold, and I'm saying this as someone who's lost people during the pandemic too. Please do not fear monger.

No, but you SHOULD care about other people enough to still mask.

I am NOT fearmongering.

Covid is still dangerous, especially to the many MANY people who are immunocompromised and people who cannot get the vaccines (for whatever reason).

I know several people who THIS YEAR caught permanently disabling covid, despite all being fully vaccinated.

I am not saying you have to quarantine yourself anymore. That was NOT a thing I said. There is a world of difference between wishing that other people cared enough to MASK, a thing that is NOT HARD AT ALL, and demanding that people still observe full quarantine protocols.

Plugging your ears and closing your eyes and refusing to listen when people are still justifiably worried, and not listening to experts that haven't been pressured by the government to say 'COVID IS NOT A THREAT ANYMORE YAAAY!!!' just makes you a fool.

I know that's harsh, but it's the truth.

Hospitals are no longer required to report covid cases and covid deaths as such. This is a GIANT RED FLAG that people are happily ignoring so they can feel safe.

#i am so tired #i'm never going to be able to go anywhere without a mask again #and people like this are why #current events 2023 #america #WEAR A MASK #you don't have to quarantine yourself #but please WEAR A MASK #it's the least you can do #the very least minimum bar to prove you give a damn about other human beings #i resent being framed as hysterical over this #anyone got a copy of that one post with updated covid guidelines recommended by the peoples CDC (i think that's the org?)

[inkbarista]

I ended up caving and making another gofundme. I'm praying that this will be the last.

This fund is just so I can start off the new year on the right foot, and be able to pay my bills without worry. If you can't or won't donate I completely understand, I just ask that you share this around. If you'd like to donate, it means the world to me.

You all have been incredibly kind and generous, and I can't thank you enough for that. I'm just hoping that this will be the last time I have to raise money like this. I'm sorry to be posting another so soon.

#announcement #gofundme #i'm sorry i'm just tired and stressed #been on the verge of a panic attack all day #my dog managed to rip some of her damn teeth out today so i have that bill as well

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

For $5 USD stop making everything about that goddamn show for five minutes.

#I'm sorry this is horribly mean of me but I am fucking EXHAUSTED #stop it!!!! fucking stop it!!!! #not everything is about your show! #and no it is actually pretty well-damn-documented that SPN was NOT #'everyone on cast and crew wanted it and the mean network shut them down' #I DID MY TIME #NINE SEASONS OF IT #I'M NOT PUTTING UP WITH THIS #and y'know what? y'know what. even IF that were the case. #I don't want to hear it #because this isn't about SPN it was never about SPN stop making! everything! about SPN! #this happening on 911 is not in ANY way shape or form influenced by Supernatural #and again I say this AS A FORMER DESTIEL SHIPPER WHO WATCHED THE SHOW #can you please just let something 911 be about 911? #can we please just talk about that without bringing SPN into it? #I'm tired! I'm so fucking tired! stop it!!! #ahem #*Captain Holt voice* apparently that's a trigger for me #I'm going to write about my silly little koala and his silly little drag queen boyfriend and calm down

[dirtytransmasc]

Alicent and Aegon are so Virgin Mary and Jesus coded, in a sick and twisted way that it barely makes sense, but at the same time just... does.

a mother and her child born damned from the start, yet she loved him to her core, accepting her fate, accepting she would lose him and then herself.

she carried him, birthed him, raised him, loved him, devoted her very being to him... she lost him, grieved him, lost her mind in his absence. the gods her only respite, yet, when she needed them most, when she needed them to protect her son, her baby, her reason for being, where were they?

#the catholic guilt and angst is getting to me #the mommy issues I used to project on The Mother Mary are now being projected onto Alicent #Aegon and Jesus are literally the same person but also not and they parallel one another perfectly but its also an insult to say they do #two side of the same coin??? #two sons damned by their fathers two mothers damned by their sons both only having each other #maybe #I don't know anymore #it just feels right in my gut #and I'm so tired and just feeling... things... and this post was born #aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen #alicent hightower #pro alicent hightower #pro team green #hotd #house of the dragon #tw religion #tw religious themes #tw religious imagery

[espeonkin]

the day people stop joking about "lmfao remember when people used to unironically think they were a reincarnation of nagito komaeda" will be the day my life knows peace

fictionkin were never the problem. tumblr's callout culture and rampant misinformation were the problem.

#otherkin #fictionkin #otherkind #fictionkind #i'm so damn tired

[hansama]

GET UR #HORRORSWEEP ICONS FOR THE SANS AU SEXYMAN POLL

Vote for Horror Sans to win the 3rd round!!!

ALSO VOTE FOR RED AS WELL!! (very important)

If you want Red icons for #FELLSWEEP click here!

feel free to use these icons!

credit is not needed but would be nice :DD

but don't edit the drawing in anyway please!

#undertale #horrortale #sans #horrorsweep #sexyman poll #horrortale sans #free icon #MAN i said i wouldn't draw anything for the poll this time #esp since i'm completely busy with sans x you week #BUT I COULDN'T RESIST #PLS #I LOVE HORROR SM #I FEEL SO BAD FOR NOT DRAWING ANYTHING FOR RED AAAHHH QQ #RED HUBBY I PROMISE i'll draw for you when I can #nnow i'm too tired #anyway damn my simpiness really shows in this drawing huh?