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sl-ut · 4 months

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random college!abby hcs

more!college abby

warnings: mentions of sex, drinking, drugs, and nudity, cursing, mild hint homophobia

first things first: jerry is alive and abby is his pride and joy

i'm serious... her mom died when she was a toddler and jerry hasn't had a long-term relationship since, so he's the only parental figure that she has

he took every precaution while raising her to make sure she always had everything she could ever need while also making sure that she didn't end up being an entitled brat

otherwise, she is very close with both of her father's siblings (her aunt is the only maternal relationship she has and definitely relied on her for all of her personal issues as a teenager), has a good relationship with jerry's mother and step-father

her mother was an only child, but her parents always come over for thanksgiving and even christmas sometimes

she was very supportive of her father taking in yara and lev after she moved out. she knew he was suffering from a severe case of empty nest syndrome. she def makes them feel so welcome right away like those strangers became her siblings in a matter of minutes

i'll only say it once ppl: OLD MONEY

jk i'll say it again. the andersons are a long line of surgeons and doctors so obvi they're gonna be well off

like, not "fund a research facility to get my kid into college" rich, they're more "i casually have a summer home, a ski chalet, and a ridiculously nice house to live in year round" rich.

her only real relationship was in high school (trigger warning: it was owen)

our bby had a bad case of comphet as a teenager

like fr she had not even considered the fact that she might be gay until she was two knuckles deep in some sorority girl during a party in her freshman year

after that she sort of just accepted it, she had no concern of her dad bc obviously he would be so accepting and supportive, but a few of her relatives def had an issue with it right off the bat (old money, old values)

she's been friends with manny, nora, owen, and mel since middle school, and the only one whose view of her seemed to change was owen (and mel too ig bc she stopped seeing abby as such a threat)

he drunkenly questioned her about it once, saying something super gross and along the lines of "you didn't seem gay when we were together"

to which she responded by offering him two choices; he could sit down and shut up or she would knock him tf out

he's cooled it since then but everyone knows that he still has a big fat crush on her so he still wants to believe he has a chance (even tho he was literally already talking to mel before they broke up and announced they were together only a few days after)

she's pre-med, majoring in bio and minoring in something totally different like classical lit or history or something

she's gonna end up being an orthopedic surgeon but later on in her career i can see her turning to teaching at a university or something

like doctor!abby turned prof!abby???? omg

is very health conscious

she's a gym rat, this we already know

she also takes her diet very seriously as well, but always has a secret stash of junk for when she really needs it

also careful with her alcohol/drug intake

she drinks on occasion (birthday, christmas, new years, etc, etc) but usually not very much (will almost always be sober enough to be the sober driver if need be)

she refuses to do any drugs during lacrosse season. she's so strict with her diet during the season that she won't ingest anything other than quality, nutritious food. she also needs to submit a drug test a few times per season so she doesn't wanna risk it.

in the off season, she's more willing to have a puff or two at a party or take an edible before a movie night or something (i don't see her doing any drug other than weed)

she lived with manny during her freshman and sophomore years

they had a shitty little apartment a few minutes away from campus

it was the only one that manny could afford on a student budget, and he refused abby's offer to get a nicer apartment and let her pay a larger portion of the rent than he did

they still had fun either way

manny loved having another person he could talk about girls with (he was initially gonna move in with owen but then he got ditched for mel)

every sunday morning they would get takeout for breakfast so manny could recount his night with the girl that had snuck out only a few hours earlier

she was a little hesitant to join in and share her own stories, but she finally got more comfortable in talking to him about it (RESPECTFULLY!!!!!!! she was so scared that she was gonna end up sounding like a literally disgusting pig but she keeps the details to a minimum and only says nice things unless the girl was a major bitch)

she's a lululemon/gymshark girly. her go-to style is definitely any variation of athlesiure. she wears lots of joggers, dry-fit tops, and the cleanest pair of white sneakers you'll ever see

underneath, i'm picturing her as more of a bralette type of girl. obviously she wears a sports bra to the gym, but on a regular basis, she likes wearing bralettes over bras bc she doesn't need that much support so they offer just enough without the discomfort of a bra

i'm settling the debate rn everyone, college!abby wears boxers AND panties

she finds boxers more comfortable on a day to day basis, but she likes wearing cheekies and thongs especially when she's wearing leggings

so dorky

she was definitely a sci-fi/fantasy kid

she grew up on harry potter, lord of the rings, star wars, etc etc

would love a partner who would watch them with her and actually enjoy it

unironically makes gym thirst traps on tiktok

her followers always comment supportive things like: looking good!, major gainssss, muscle mommy come destroy this pu-

still wears the iconic braid, but usually only when she's on the field. she occasionally wears her hair down, but i hc that she still likes to wear her hair pulled back in a cute little braided ponytail or a messy low bun

when she's older SHE CUTS HER HAIR OMG OMG OMG like literally i'm purring rn

like ik you've all seen that edit of her with super short hair omg she's so hot

in her junior year she decided to live on her own

manny moved in with jordan, who had been begging him for a while since the rent was more than he could handle on his own, though manny's rent would actually be cheaper than it was in his apartment with abby

they still do their traditions tho, still having sunday breakfast, still going to the campus pub on fridays for trivia, still going to the gym together on wednesdays...

they're actually besties i love them

when she's on her period, she craves salty foods

is so frustratingly confident in her emotions

will always try to diffuse the situation and pissing the other person off with her calmness

takes really good care of her skin

her favourite drink is diet cranberry gingerale

she's a dog person, but she would definitely enjoy having a cat around too

adopts a rescue dog a few weeks after finishing her residency

uses old spice fiji body wash and deodorant (SHE SMELLS SO FUCKING GOOD) and a musky vanilla body spray

likes to feel and be clean, but isn't too fussed about her body hair so long as it looks tidy. she isn't anti shaving, and will probably make an effort to shave more regularly in the early stages of a relationship until she's more confident and comfortable around the person

NSFW

down-there hair? duh

like i said, she likes to keep things tidy so she'll trim and maybe shave her bikini line if she's feeling it but that's it. she's not fussed with body hair, whether it's her or her partner's

again, she'll make an effort to keep herself looking neat and tidy for the first bit of a relationship but after a few weeks she's not afraid to go full-bush when she doesn't wanna shave

she doesn't love penetration. fingers are one thing, but she has only had not-so-great experiences with sex that involved a penis-like object. she'd wanna be the one wearing the strap for the most part, but she'd be willing to try it again with the right person

slow and passionate sex >>>>>

considers herself to be very vanilla but she's actually kinda kinkyyyyy (she gets so embarrassed and blushy when anyone calls her out for it)

she prefers scissoring to using her strap (but she LOVES her strap)

she doesn't like to choke her partners, but she will reach her hand up and just hold their throat while they're fucking

she's always so sensitive

came in like thirty seconds during her first time with another girl

she's noiiiiisssyyyyyyyy

she usually starts out with just heavy panting breaths, then they turn into deep grunts, then she begins to whine from low in her throat, and finally she begins to gasp out words of praise or curses

she squirts teehee

like i said she's always so sensitive, so if she's any ways worked up when someone's going down on her they better watch out bc they're in the splash zone

her strap is purple and sparkly

abby anderson eats ass

her nipples are super sensitive too

not really nsfw but she really loves casual nudity with her partners, changing in front of each other, hopping in the shower together, using the bathroom with the other person in the room...

she's a boob girl. doesn't matter if they're big, small, saggy, or perky, she just wants to suck them

when she's on top, she likes to pull her partner's leg over her shoulder and will just start like trailing kisses along the length of their calf

she's a literal munch

will use it to her advantage too

tells her partner she'll go down on them if they finish their assignments

#reader insert #x reader #imagines #lesbian #abby anderson #abby anderson imagine #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby tlou #college!abby anderson

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icharchivist · 2 years

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it’s funny when i was a teen i was not following mainstream stuff because i was deep into ~i’m not like the other teens~ (and just liked stuff that weren’t mainstream anyway) but nowadays my biggest argument to not follow mainstream is that we turned every big things into pure FOMO where if you don’t watch something big right away you will know everything about it in the couple of months that follow and it will suck any enjoyement out of it if you decide to watch it later and it’s honestly pretty depressing.

#and i don't mean like knowing vague spoilers #i'm going to watch the new Thor for a bonding activity #i don't really care about Marvel and skipped all of phase 3 and half of phase 2 and 4 #but it became a bonding activity to watch the newest movies even though i have very little interest #i figured i should at least watch the 3rd Thor that i skipped in case i needed it and all #and i remember reading some interesting takes about it #but it was legitimately depressing to just have the feeling i've seen every single thing in gifset #there was genuinely nothing that i thought 'oh i didnt see that before'#the movie is objectively okay with better themes and directing than most mcumovies #and i came out of it underwhelmed because i saw all of it before #and idk it's sad as hell #i've also been feeling it for like. TV shows i am just midly interested in that i'm forced to bing on release date #like holy shit this is not the type of emotional involvement i want with those shows they're not engaging enough for this #(at least to me personally it doesn't talk about quality because the stuff i love the most qualify as trashy)#and it genuinely annoys me that i have to pour the same energy into mainstream stuff i only slightly care about #than i would pour into stuff i truly love #like when the new S/tranger t/hing season came out at the same time i wanted to follow up the last update in one of my mobage #i'm mostly following mindlessly and i don't care enough about it esp not how ppl talk about it online #but i had to postpone something i really wanted to read bc i was already seeing major spoilers online #and i think it's a shame that a show based on suspense get its spoilers everywhere on day One #i've spent yeas fighting the edgelord in me always saying i didn't care about mainstream just because i don't 'care for normies'#but now i'm circling back to it on the account of 'it makes social media unbearable and makes it sounds like homework and it sucks'#so yeah pretty sad i'm becoming an edgelord again that's it #ichasalty #ichatalks

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lowkeyrobin · 2 months

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(Reader x dsmp/mcyt)

Reader who just got their tongue pierced and their s/o's/partners reaction?

-🌕 anon!

oooo I like this one!! I got a little handful of mcyts here so hopefully I got all the ones you were looking for! and welcome to the family 🌕 anon! you're officially my first child lmao

MCYT ; you get your tongue pierced

includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, karl jacobs, quackity, nihachu, and foolish gamers

warnings ; language, mention of pills, mentions/descriptions of oral anatomy (ik some ppl get icked when ppl talk about insides of mouths i get it)

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

"woah- hey there"

you're bouncing off the walls and dying to show him

you picked the one moment he's busy with editing and you stand behind him for a solid 3 minutes before he turns around

you stick your tongue out to show off your new piercing and he exclaims a bit, his emotions in awe

he may look disgusted or cringed, but he's just surprised you're for one, not in pain, two, how good it looks on you

"Holy shit, it looks awesome y/n!"

then proceeds to ask a million questions about it

he's mostly just curious what it feels like inside your mouth and how you take care of it and eat around it

idk what to call it bc I obv don't have a tongue piercing (or any in general LMAO) but you do the little putting the piercing between your teeth trick for him and he jumps back all frightened at first

he had no idea how you did it somehow

"how the fuck did you just do that???"

you to be fair jumpscared him with it so you just kinda show him

"doesn't that hurt????"

TUBBO

once you show him (coming straight to him after leaving the piercers) you're all happy and shit and happy to show him that you're doing things to express yourself and be more comfortable in your body

"Holy shit, that's so cool! Wait, oh my God, did you get stabbed in the tongue with a needle??"

"Not really stabbed but-"

"ohhh God no! are you okay? does it not hurt???"

also proceeds to ask you a bunch of questions

he's confused on how you'd disinfect it and shit considering it's in your mouth and shit

he's overall just really fascinated and he likes asking questions to better understand this new change for you

he's happy if you're happy yk? 🫶

he makes sure that you remember to take care of it and whatnot, and you're taking plenty of ibuprofen/tylenol for headaches while it's still fresh

he likes helping you style outfits according to the jewelry too, he's a little fashionista fr

RANBOO

"Ran, lookit!"

Bro looks up at you with your tongue out and his resting face turns into a wide smile

"Oh my God!? you actually got it? I'm so happy for you!"

wraps you in a hug

once the excitement wears off he's super paranoid about you being uncomfortable or in pain because I mean your tongue just got jabbed with a needle and now you've got a piece of metal in it

also asks questions, mostly because he also wants to understand how it feels in your mouth

"does it like... rub up on the roof of your mouth and scratch it? like, does it hurt other than the pain from the insertion?"

they LOVE when you do the little teeth trick, it's just so cool to them lmao

they'll gift you some new (high quality) jewelry as well every once in a while

he literally went online to get a customized one that says "#1 Ranboo fan" in it for you 💀💀

instead of wearing it, you turn it into a bracelet/necklace/use it as another kind of piercing that way you can actually show it off

he likes seeing you fidget around specifically w the pill ones

questions you constantly how you don't accidently swallow it or something

"wait.. do you take it out when you shower and brush your teeth? genuine question, I swear!"

again, they're happy if you're happy

they're happy seeing you be able to express yourself more clearly and they don't care what it is, they're always by your side

BADLINU

he, harry, & bill came with you for moral support

he wasn't staring down the inside of your mouth but he felt the pain with how hard you were squeezing his hand 💀💀💀💀

he looks up at Harry and Bill with pleading eyes like "Holy shit they have some grip help me"

he refuses to buy/let you buy jewelry that isn't 100% high quality

nor is he letting that shit get infected either

he always notices when you match the jewelry to your outfits or the occasion as well

like you'll be attending the streamer awards and you'll smile for a picture and he'll just see your jewelry perfectly matches your outfit

he likes buying you the fun colorful ones bc you only buy the plain silver/gold/black ones for yourself

"Wait, how do you like... get it out?"

"how much does it hurt?"

sometimes he just finds jewelry you left on the nightstand or dresser from when you have sleepovers

he'll text you like "dude you left your stuff here again I told you to check 💀"

"Shut up I'm omw back"

QUACKITY

"OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT YOU LOOK AWESOME"

like engulfs you in a hug

instantly shows you off the the gang and shit

you basically tell chat all about the story at the piercers and he's cringing in pain all the way through

oh my God he hates the descriptions you use he swears it's just to tease him or something

also the type to custom order jewelry for you

you do order a custom one with the pixel :) tho & u wear it the most out of the other jewelry you have lmaoooo

if it was still 2019 u totally would've done the iconic quackityhq duck

when he kisses you he likes touching the piercing w his tongue just to fuck you up bc it feels weird

"HAHA L!"

genuinely concerned sometimes bc you sit there and fidget w it and zone out for a solid 5 minutes in a loud room and he's just worried you'll rip it out or smthn

also the type to wonder how you don't accidently swallow it

always makes you pose with your tongue out in pics he takes of you bc he's so in love with it

he probably loves that damn piercing more than he loves you

NIHACHU

"Oh my gosh! you look so good!"

like hugs you and spins you around

helps you take care of it and stuff, always on top making sure you're not in pain and whatnot

she'll match her snakebites with your new piercing

if you're wearing some silver jewelry, she'll change her snakebites to silver hoops or spikes etc etc

also gifts you jewelry religiously

she found some online (high quality as well 🙏🙏🙏) that perfectly match your aesthetic and never has she ever clicked add to cart so damn quick

also helps you style jewelry with outfits

she also likes the teeth trick, she likes the sound mostly of the jewelry clinking off your teeth

it's one of those like adrenaline shudder moments yk?

but she is constantly getting pictures of you showing it off/with your tongue out

like quackity, I think she likes the piercing more than she likes you LMAO

FOOLISH GAMERS

"Oh, hi- oh my God, hi!"

he's so interested just off the bat

you do the little teeth trick and he does his little giggle ❤️❤️

"that sounds so weird"

he has you show it off to his stream and he's all smiles and shit

he of course gifts you a lot of jewelry as well and always triple checks to make sure it's high quality

his Google history is just "Is _____ high quality?" "Is it safe to buy from ____?" etc

when you're making out or whatever he loves tasting the metal of the piercing on his tongue, he's addicted

always compliments you as well, always posting photos w you showing it off too

like you'll most a photo showing it off and he'll be in the comments like "marry me pls" and be fighting off your fans who are just complimenting you

like some random person will be like "omg you look so cool!!" and he'll jokingly reply with a "back off buddy they're mine 😡"

God I'm so in love with this man

KARL JACOBS

you walk into his stream and jumpscare him with the teeth thing

"Oh, fuck! hi! wait, oh my God, you look so good!"

he makes you show it off to the stream & the friends he was streaming with

he's already obsessed

like others, he's obsessed with the taste of metal on his tongue when you're making out

loves gifting you jewelry as well

he's also the type to custom order some as well

he also asks a lot of questions cause he's just curious

he likes organizing your jewelry as well

like you'll walk into your room and just see him organizing by color and type

"What're you doing, karl? I thought you were watching that new episode of survivor?"

"organizing, babe"

"Why?"

"cause"

dudes so fucking focused

he always wonders how it doesn't hurt

also asks you how it feels in your mouth all the time

"how do you not accidently swallow it? how do you eat with it?"

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt preferences #mcyt x reader #tommyinnit x reader #mcyt oneshot #quackity x reader #ranboo x reader #badlinu x reader #karl jacobs x reader #nihachu x reader #foolish gamers x reader #tubbo x reader

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whatudowhennooneseesyou · 4 days

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Are u able to do how certain Venus signs act when the like someone??

I hope u mums doing well now and ur car is doing ok no rush tho I understand 😊

Hey, my mum and car are doing okay and thank you for your patience because you requested this a VERY long time ago.

Disclaimer: This is based on traditional astrology and for delusional purpose only. Do not take this seriously.

Also someone's Moon Sign will also have an influence in how they show their affection for you so you're better off looking at both Moon AND Venus signs.

The Rizz Of Each Venus Sign:

Aries Venus:

These people yearn with PASSION and they're one of the easiest to figure out if they like you. You can just SEE it in their gaze when they're in your presence. Agreeable. Will instantly respond to messages and more likely to confess their feelings rather quickly.

Jeongin from Stray Kids is an Aries Venus and this manifests in the EXCITEMENT he has around his members and how he beams at them on the stage or when in his ending-ment when he talks to Stays.

Taurus Venus:

Will absolutely scrutinise and discover what you like and are interested in understanding the SMALLEST of details about you. Will also pay attention to your body language and figure out what makes you comfortable.

A great example of a Taurus Venus in action was when Yunho had a fancall with Vanessa and noticed how her make-up style changed and asked if she moved because her background changed.

Gemini Venus:

They love to play games and play cat and mouse. The type to offer you a beautiful compliment and then dip because they want you to think about them. Will ask you personal questions about your life.

Cancer Venus:

A healing presence will envelop you with the love of a Cancer Venus. Provide you with comfort and warmth. Will deliberately radiate an energy of homeliness so you feel safe in being vulnerable and expressing your deepest thoughts.

Leo Venus:

They just become the biggest simps and end up fawning and gushing over you. Will find any excuse to spend time with you. May make compliments about your hair and make-up and be extra touchy and giggly.

San from Ateez is a Leo Venus and he is so Leo Venus coded with how he is so attentive towards Atiny's. You can feel the care in his gaze and presence.

Virgo Venus:

The type to love quietly but unconditionally and it might take you awhile for you to realise they like you. Will give you gifts or do minor tasks for you and then act like it's nothing even though you know they don't do this for anyone else.

Mingi from Ateez and Changbin from Stray Kids both have a Virgo Venus and Mingi creates crystal bracelets and Changbin is always bringing food to his members.

Libra Venus:

Might want to take lots of photos of you or want to know about your artistic abilities. People with a Libra Venus are typically VERY physically affectionate so lots of hugging, petting, smiling (consensually) etc.

TEASING is a huge thing as well!!! Others might think you're bullying each other but you both know the humour you share is special between you two.

Han, Felix, Seungmin from Stray Kids and Wooyoung from Ateez are all Libra Venuses and massively tease and play around with their members but it's done so in a way that's harmless and cute.

Scorpio Venus:

Will pine for months before even making a move on you. Quality time. It's difficult to define how a Scorpio Venus shows their interest because you can just FEEL it and SEE it with how they interact with you. Heated gazes. Sudden bouts of confession. And of course, if they get jealous and possessive.

Bang Chan, Lee Know, Hongjoong and Jongho all have their Venus in Scorpio and a lot of their admiration is non-verbal, you can just see the way their eyes sparkle when they talk about something/someone they adore.

(I'm also biased b/c my Pisces Venus loves my Scorpio venus ppl, y'all get what it means to love someone with your entire body and soul).

Sagittarius Venus:

These people are CHEEKY with their affection and can become overly flirtatious and then avoidant within minutes of knowing you. Might put more effort into their appearance when they're around you and try to act non-chalant with their affection (though it gets pretty obvious at times).

Capricorn Venus:

Will prioritise and give advice over your health and well-being. Classic tsundere vibes with affection and if they like you and you ask them for a favour...they might complain about it before rolling their eyes and doing it for you anyway.

Minghao from SVT is a classic example of a Capricorn Venus. Carats always ask him to do certain Tiktok dances and he says he won't do it but then he rolls his eyes and ends up doing them anyway.

Aquarius Venus:

It's difficult because they treat their romantic partners and their friends in a similar manner BUT I've noticed they show their care for you by showing up and being there for you in your darkest of moments. Will send cute memes and gifs to you online. Might check in on a regular basis for no obvious reason.

Park Seonghwa from Ateez and DK from SVT both have a Venus in Aquarius and they are dedicated to their lives and HOBBIES! They love showing off their hobbies to Atiny's and Carats.

Pisces Venus:

I am a Pisces Venus and let me tell you the LIMERENCE we experience!!! Will ask questions about your personal life and remember certain details about you. Will do all they can to make you feel extra special and a top priority.

Hyunjin from Stray Kids is a Pisces Venus and I've noticed he always tries his best to make Stays and his members as comfortable as possible around him.

Let me know if this resonates and if there's anything else I should include or know about!

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beaulesbian · 3 months

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i'm caught up with end of wano, so here's some parallels from one piece that could be or don't have to be connected, but are still pretty cool.

long post ahead & wano spoilers

protecting new era:

rayleigh protecting zoro at sabaody from an attack by kizaru, ch 511

luffy protecting law from an attack by doflamingo, with same move as rayleigh above, dressrosa ch 782

at the end of wano, ch 1055, shanks telling ryokugyu a similar thing as rayleigh above ("don't pick the buds before they sprout. their era is only just the beginning"),

shanks "when the new shoots that just changed pirating history are exhausted, (..) are you that afraid of the new era?!"

---

zoro king of hell

same page as luffy protecting law - with haki clashing against doflamingo, the panels after that talking about supreme king haki - qualities of a king,. in this context for doflamingo, ch 782

at amazon lily ppl reacting to luffy using supreme king haki, while he doesn't know he just did, ch. 519. "that's the haki of the chosen ones' only one in millions has that spirit!"

vs, zoro unknowingly unleashing haki of supreme king for (possibly) the first time, ch 997

and later during his rooftop fight against kaido, (and still denies/ doesn't know what they're talking about, which is very interesting). ch 1010

then during his fight with King, unleashing haki, which makes others around fall unconscious (as mentioned above to doflamingo is a sign of supreme king haki), ch 1033

and some more chapters later, claiming the title of King of Hell (funny in this context it was told to doflamingo he was chosen by the heavens, and for zoro he became the king of hell. smth smth about the character work there).,

and as always - connected to luffy and his dreams!. ch 1036

then there's the asura figure surrounding zoro's powers,

and i find it so interesting that on wikipedia about asura (which zoro's sword and fighting styles are also based on with hindu and buddhist religions) is mentioned they're "considered enemy of the gods"

i like how it's the same phrase as we also heard in the manga before form law's flashbacks about corazon, ch 764

this is in the context of the people with the D. name, and then mostly used for law himself, and luffy and how far he's come to truly wreck the world government, as well as them being a threat to the celestial dragons.

luffy and nika:

from point above, i like how the "enemy of gods" being applied to people with the name D. is also interesting in the context of luffy awakening his devil fruit powers, which are named sun god nika. (i know that in the phrase "enemy of gods" mean gods as the celestial dragons, but it's still interesting)

which doesn't take away from luffy's character as i was a bit worried at first.

he's testing the new skills and powers, and he sees how he can reach the new limits he couldn't before. it might have been the devil fruit that chose who would eat it, but it's luffy and his dream that make the decisons., ch 1045

and ch 1049

luffy in ch 507 & 1053, his core ideals are still the same

---

not fighting someone

shanks not fighting the mountain bandits, and luffy not understanding it, ch 1

jaya arc, luffy and zoro not fighting against bellamy, and nami not understanding at first, ch 225

and ch 1054, momonosuke telling yamato not to fight the navy guy because he wants to be able to protect wano, and let yamato go to the seas as he wants to - it's just that similar energy that luffy has when he tells someone not to fight (or when to fight), without almost any explanations.

also loved this usopp moment!, - could be paralelled to his whole character arc. ch 1036.

he's so real for saying this to kin and kiku (and samurai in general). he's always scared and sometimes can be acting like a coward, but he always, always, stands up for his crew and fights to live through whatever hell luffy puts in front of them.

-- wano was so good and there are so many thoughts about one piece in my head now, about each of the characters and their development/meanings/themes! OTL

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sergeifyodorov · 4 months

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would u do a little analysis of how each team has done so far this season … i trust ur opinions so much

EACH team okay... under the cut bc i am not subjecting the masses to 32 nasty little thots cody edition

Bruins: RIP patrice of course but the bruins are steamrolling as ever... i think that if there is any evidence of the universe simply not caring abt good things it is that the bruins slip and stumble and have some of their best players retired and still manage to put up a 50 win season every year. <- salty leafs fan but ANYHWAY the bruins are easily a Playoff Team. simply "there" 5v5, strong power play, they make their money off finishing (pastrnak you filthy animal) and goaltending (swaymark you filthy animals). they have been trending downwards of late so i'm not entirely sure of like their final standings place but with this kind of head start they're staying up.

Sabres: currently in what we the people call a "decade of darkness." might be a "two decades of darkness" if we're going to be honest. the active player with the most playoff points with the sabres is tyler myers. 7 points. yeah the tall one most famous for having a subreddit that posts the gamescore card every time he's on the bottom of the gamescore card. sabres are really hard to fix because their first real step to contention is "hoping devon levi turns out really good." not promising. bad enough that by selling a piece or two celebrini is in sight. maybe that'll help? a third 1OA?

Red Wings: presenting the mid-season Season Ruining Unforced Error Award early by saying: not that they were going to be as good as their first few games of sniping suggested, but signing patrick kane tanked any realistic hope they have of playoffs. is patrick kane good? he's actually alright. maybe this time the surgery worked. is the team made better by having him on it? it surely isn't! a few REALLY BADLY TIMED dylan larkin based misfortunes have made it go from bad to worse. they were in A2 like a month ago and now they're Out. strengths: finishing. weaknesses: everything else, including morale.

Panthers: okay you've probably clocked this by now but ive been Generally Salty so far and that is bc a) im easily tempted to haterhood and b) currently discussing each team in the atlantic which does nothing to make me less Tempted To Haterhood. that being said the panthers are Good and For Real About It. they can do everything except finish chances, which is fine when the other team has way fewer chances than you and your goalie doesn't let any of them in. fuck ALLL the way off. place your bets on these guys having a deep playoff run. cross your fingers for them not having a deep playoff run i can't stand chuckyposting again it's RAN ITS COURSE. (also: machuk is probably still injured and absolutely Not doing as well as he did the last few seasons. maybe because he's just not that kind of guy but it's probably at least mostly the broken chest thing)

Canadiens: they are bad EXCEPT when it comes to overtime + the shootout. also much like the sabres they're going nowhere fast. i expect at least one of their goalies to be gone at the deadline... furthermore i think ppl who are ragging on slaf's slow development are simply expecting all 1OAs to be like an auston or a connor type (pick your connor) where they come in and immediately adapt -- slaf rings very reminiscent of quinton byfield to me, who was picked 2OA in 2020 and is only now starting to break out. give him time he's a baby...

Senators: despite how much literally everyone talks up all their players constantly, they are not good either. like the sabres or the habs... atlantic is 4 teams in the genuine hunt, 3 teams who suck and have sucked forever and will suck forevermore, and the red wings who haven't made up their minds yet. the sens actually Do have a singular Biggest Problem though and that's goaltending, but they're not a good enough team otherwise that getting a quality goaltender is going to make them playoffs worthy, especially not in the very short (this-season) run.

Lightning: the lightning are weird to me because like i think they're still making up their mind as A People what they want to do. kucherov is the best player in the league rn, this is stamkos' ufa season and he hasn't been offered an extension, vasilevskiy is back and vasying his levskiy... i fully believe they have the capability of getting a playoff spot, maybe even A3 if they want. we've all seen them in the playoffs, we know how they can turn ~It~ on at will. as always they're a deeply mid 5v5 team powered by very strong special teams... the goaltending numbers say goaltending is shit but they've been playing in front of the genuinely unplayable jonas johansson most of the season so i think it'll be fine.

Maple Leafs: as the team ive watched the moast i can talk about these guys for evar so for all of our sanities i will be brief: Auston Matthews, Baby, Look At Him, That's Auston, Auston Motherfucking "Sexy Mustached Bitch" Matthews!!!!!!! powered by an extremely strong power play and very good offence, and defence and goaltending that is held together by Morgan Rielly and a dream. possibly the only reason they're in a playoff spot is the fact that martin jones didn't get claimed on waivers three months ago and i am being dead serious about that. for some reason they're at their best when they're down by two. they do really need both their #1 goalie to come back from injury and to make a splash for a genuine nhl-calibre defenceman, but they're stubbornly determined to win games even through nasty flu.

Hurricanes: their usual selves -- analytics darlings, can't buy a goal. this year they can't buy a save either -- Freddie is out with a medical condition, Raanta is straight up not good, and Kochetkov is... well, he's Kochetkov. they're not far out of a spot but they'll need a hot hand if they want to get comfy... which i don't expect, frankly. they're good enough to make the playoffs, but they're not really a team that goes on heaters, so they'll be bubble until the end.

Blue Jackets: genuinely not sure they know what they're doing like... okay. from an outside pov they are obviously Tanking. they're bad in every way that matters except for finishing and the standings show it. but also like... they're at the point in their development cycle where they shouldn't be tanking... or at least are on the verge of Shouldn't Be Tanking. and again, because they don't know what they're doing, they hired mike babcock for this... if they know what they're doing they'll toss kekalainen as soon as they can and, following this year's draft, start Fighting. but let's be real i doubt that. adam fantilli it's your time to shine... sorry sweetheart!

Devils: see Hurricanes. Great on paper, can't buy a save. They've obviously been stunted by Timo, J'accuse, and Nico all being injured at various points, but goaltending is their biggest and most solvable problem. Unlike the Hurricanes, though, the Devils are fully capable of going on a heater, so the gap between them and WC2 isn't as big as it looks (probably.) Luke Hughes is going to be something special.

Rangers: Looks like Lafreniere is finally getting his feet under him -- but the Rangers have always been far more about getting old, known players to get a second wind with them than they've been about prospect development, and Quick and Wheeler are both showing this pretty definitively. Another one of those teams that's run by special teams and finishing/goaltending. Easy playoff spot, likely solid run. Nothing too interesting here.

Islanders: On the other hand, the Isles are interesting because... like... how did they get There? They have a negative goal differential, for heaven's sake! Their special teams are godawful, their defence is a sieve, they blow leads like that's what actually gets you points in this league, and they're somehow second in the Metropolitan??????? Is it Horvat? Barzal? Sorokin? (It's probably Sorokin.) They'll make the playoffs but i doubt they'll succeed in them.

Flyers: This one's also weird. They have the power play and offence of a peewee team in the big leagues, but have become defensively Actually Super Competent and are somehow good because of this? I'm going to theorize -- because you've asked me to but also because I really want to -- that this is due, at least in part, to somewhat of an inverse Kane-on-the-Red-Wings effect from their offseason removal of Provorov and DeAngelo; without them, the team is now not only better defensively on paper but also better as a team in the locker room. They're [uncle voice] playing with heart now! I doubt they're a real contender, but I think they might actually make playoffs.

Penguins: ...this one's also weird. They're good on paper. Like, really good on paper? Defensively "just okay" but offensively great, goaltending is fantastic, special teams are shutdown. They just can't buy a goal and they can't buy a good sequence.

Capitals: This one's weird, too, but in the opposite way -- aside from the power-play, the Caps are actually godawful on paper, especially when it comes to finishing (because when Ovechkin takes such a high percentage of your shots but he isn't scoring, your team REALLY suffers) but somehow they've managed to pinpoint sequencing luck (win close, lose ugly) and are somehow in WC1. Do I think they'll make the playoffs? Absolutely not -- if either the Devils or Canes step up, the Caps are the odd man out -- but it might be fun to see them try. Or hell, I hope they win-close-lose-ugly their way to a goddamn Cup final. Would be funny as fuck for Ovi's second-longest ever playoff run to come at the fresh young age of thirty-eight. Dude looks ragged out there. I'm going to shut up now before I start talking about finding him sexy

Coyotes: Simple on paper: bad at running play, good goaltending and finishing. Essentially what the Canucks are doing at a smaller scale. The Leafs should never have let Kerfoot walk and I mean that unironically. Okay, anyway, the Yotes are a bubble team and won't make higher than WC1 because of the logjam at the top of the Central, but holy fuck do I want them to make WC1 (or a playoff spot in general.) People ask "how can we grow the game" a lot, and when it comes to what the NHL can do directly, the number one biggest thing is win in small markets. Arizona has already created one of the sports' biggest stars -- Auston! -- and it's an absolutely massive TV market and a potential hotbed of new fans and new, great players. Arizona making a playoff spot -- or even better, going on a run -- would be amazing for the NHL. And it would be funny. And I would like that.

Blackhawks: shoutout to dave !!! dave who works for the hawks!!! anyway the hawks are very obviously tanking and good at it. Their only real point of interest is their Sacred Child, and holy fuck is their Sacred Child going to absolutely fucking smash it when he's given a team that's not entirely made up of scrubs. i think his analytics, especially his defensive numbers, are, like, fine? but accounting for his leverage (all situations, especially the difficult ones), his teammates (his best linemate is Anthony Beauvillier, and tito... is a third liner), and the fact that he's all of eighteen, he's definitely on track to be a Real Force. i kinda love him... okay moving on.

Avalanche: All-over good: finishing their biggest obvious strength, but hockeywise they don't have any real weaknesses... although there is some serious Drama brewing in that locker room and i think it might just be getting started. with landeskog gone for at least until the end of this year (and possibly forever) and ej a sabre, there is absolutely no one in there capable of actually emotionally running a team: makar lacking in a leader's magnetism, rantanen an idiot, toews and mackinnon far too high-strung and competitive, and no one else with seniority. they're a good enough team that it's not really affecting them right now, but ... i don't know, i can kind of feel it coming. They'll make the playoffs, but when the pressure is on they'll either step up or completely fall apart.

Stars: See above: all-over good, but saving their biggest obvious weakness. I think most of this is spurred by Otter being out -- Wedgewood is a serviceable backup goaltender, but obviously not capable of being a real starter, and the team is stuttering because of it. I doubt it'll be for long or too much difficulty (they're a good defensive team, so it's not going to affect them a lot, but they might lose a game or two they might have won with Otter, especially if he's out for a while), but it's going to keep them from taking a step on top of the Central. Easy playoff team, probable contender.

Wild: They are bad! Penalty kill is their worst weakness, but they're not great in goal either and the combination is kicking their ass. As much as I respect how well they've done with that giant cap-space penalty from the Parise/Suter buyouts all those years ago, it's... kind of time to throw in the towel. Get Flower those final few wins, because by god are they devoid of much other success. Right at the tail of a competitive arc. RIP. Tank incoming.

Predators: Weirdly good, even though Saros hasn't been his usual self? O'Reilly esp has been an absolutely fantastic addition for the team over the offseason. No huge strengths, no significant weaknesses. Not an amazing offensive team, but it's Nashville so they were never going to be -- the place practically breeds defensive forwards and all-around dmen. I don't expect they'll seriously contend, but they'll make the playoffs (unless someone offers the farm for Saros).

Blues: I genuinely think so little about the Blues .... that whole thing with Jordan Kyrou has been the most I've thought about them for a bit. That and the fact that only three of their games haven't been decided by the first goal? They're not good and they're really boring. Yeehaw.

Jets: THE JETS let's get JUICY. Jets' biggest strengths by far are a) 5v5 defence and b) finishing/goaltending. Even with Kyle Connor out they're sniping and Hellebuyck and Brossoit are both absolutely on it. The Jets have always seemed to have this problem where on paper (take a shot every time I've written "on paper" in this post if you want to die of alcohol poisoning) they seem fantastic, then January onwards they absolutely plummet. And it's not January yet, so that might still happen, but that kind of thing tends to happen because of a dramatic morale shift, and now that Lowry's captain and Wheeler's left for New York... that might not happen? They've banked enough points that unless they're historically bad from here on out they're still a playoff team. If they keep up what they have going so far, they're a contender, but if it's the same Winnipeg with the same problems, then they're not.

Ducks: Taking a step in the right direction with Carlsson and Mintyukov, but still bad! I really hope Carlsson recovers well, he seems like a sweet boy. Also: what on Earth are they doing with Zegras. Is he a defenceman now? Are they making him play defence? Are he and Dixie D'Amelio still dating? I have many questions. I just hope whichever high draft pick they get is an idiot. I feel like they need another dumbass baby on the team.

Flames: The Flames also appear to have no idea what's going on. And frankly, neither do I! They're too good to be obviously tanking, but not near good enough to be a bubble team. They're definitely reluctant to sell, but their best hope to win soon absolutely should be selling. They have one of the worst contracts in the league on their payroll (wow... I hope the guy in charge of my favourite team didn't sign that!) and a bunch of really solid late-round picks and prospects cutting their teeth on the NHL. In short: they aren't going to make the playoffs and should be leaning into that, but they don't seem to have realized this yet.

Oilers: For the sake of not gloating, I'm going to sum this one up with a Marek quote: If you have a goalie, it's 70% of your team. If you don't, it's 100%. They've had finishing trouble, but considering they absolutely run the show at 5v5 AND special teams (they put nearly SIXTY SHOTS on Vasilevskiy the other day) a little finishing shouldn't be quite so dangerous if they didn't have two sieves minding the net. McDavid might hit 150 again and the Oil might still miss the playoffs. If they get in, they're going far, but at this point it'll be tough as fuck to make it in.

Kings: Average penalty kill. No other weaknesses. Kopitar 4 Selke.

Sharks: This is an absolutely glorious tankjob. No other way to put it. This is the pinnacle of tank design. This is the Wayne Gretzky of tankjobs. This is the Casablanca of tankjobs. This is the Saturn V of tankjobs. Nothing has been so beautifully engineered to suck since Sir James Dyson patented his vacuum or Nancy Reagan walked the earth. It's beautiful. It's gorgeous. I am in awe. They deserve Celebrini purely because of how flawless the tank is. I don't care if he has a warm undertone and would look pink in that fantastic teal. The boy needs San Jose.

Kraken: Good defensively at 5v5, bad pretty much everywhere else. I'm going to be honest with you all, last year was kind of a flash in the pan -- Seattle isn't great and they're neither headed upwards nor downwards. Not a bubble team, probably won't pick top ten. They haven't decided whether or not to build up or tank. Beyond the fantastic aesthetics and four-unranked-lines shtick, they don't really have a whole lot of competitive mojo: no star forwards, no goaltending. Wholeheartedly mid.

Canucks: oH BABY!!!!! The 23-24 Canucks made us all learn what PDO is. The 23-24 Canucks are first in the motherfucking league after being one spot out of being in the Bedard lottery. The 23-24 Canucks are on track to have the best shooting and saving percentage in league history. The 23-24 Canucks' leading goalscorer is Brock Boeser, the guy they've almost traded practically every year since they drafted him. The 23-24 Canucks started the season by naming the Wettest Little Man On The Planet captain and they haven't looked back since. I think they're an easy lock for a playoff spot -- but within the playoffs, do I know what they're going to do? I absolutely do not. They could PDO their way to a Cup or they could bow out in four games flat. Either is equally likely. They have thoroughly embraced Good Chaos. Quinn Hughes might win the Hart. Everything's coming up Vancouver.

Golden Knights: Not as good as they were last year. Ultimately still pretty good. Easy playoff spot. Definite contender. Jack Eichel is better than ever and I love him for it, the dickhead.

#asks #mwah anon thank u... this is so long under the cut KJHDKSFJSKDJFHSK #tldr: some teams are good and some teams are bad. sometimes this is interesting and sometimes it's not.

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