#id probably be into the same music since my music taste is the same but i have options now not just whatevers mainstream

[inventedfangirling]

Pran's Growth : from pran-so-cool to pran-in-love

Since I did one for Pat I thought I should do one for Pran too although this one turned out slightly different than Pat's and far faaaar (im talking crazy levels of scrolling far) more detailed because i'm only human idk how to be brief about Pran FORGIVE ME.

Look at him he's my baby, i just CANNOT. So that now we have established that I have unexplainable levels of fondness for him, and so can only view his actions through love tinted glasses which means i'm basically Pat which means I'm super qualified to write this post, lets move on to what i actually wanted to say.

The first glimpse we get of Pran's mind (if you look in the chronological order of events in the show's universe) then its during his conversation with Pat where they discuss what song to perform for christmas.

Here we see the normally closed off Pran share his feelings (albeit about the topic of the song) with Pat with an ease that feels uncharacteristic of the Pran we come to see later. Because while Dissaya was still overbearing and controlling, Pran hadn't had to bear the worst of it yet. For a single child without friends that he could really open up to, it was natural for Pran to feel a pull towards Pat boisterous though he was, because he offered him a space where he could for the first time in his life open up in. 

It could be argued that Pran didn't reveal anything to Pat (it could be argued otherwise too i will get to it soon) but for a person of Pran's nature, who finds expressing himself difficult the space Pat offered for him to express his creativity and his passion for music and song writing was by itself a lot. But it's not just that. Pran is not only talking about a random song is he? He is talking about putting his actual feelings into the song. How he likes the feeling of hesitation of wanting to jump in but being afraid to be heartbroken.

He is knowingly or unknowingly speaking about his own feelings with respect to Pat. I say unknowingly because it is hard to imagine Pran really revealing his heart like that if he really knew what he was going through at that very moment.

And how does Pat react to Pran's words. He pays attention, listens intently and encourages Pran's idea. Pran opened up and Pat let him and Pran actually felt great about it. Its one of the rare moments in his life where he could be honest about something so special. 

And then Pat goes on doing random thoughtful acts like making the guitar pick out of his own ID just cos he saw Pran was struggling to play the guitar without it. He had nothing to gain and he still did that. He is nice to him. He says hi to him by the juice stand, he tells him he'd see him in the music room. Like he wants to see him there. Pran almost forgets their family feud. He was falling in love after all. How could he not?

The feeling being new to him, Pran like any teenager was curious to see what would happen? 

What if I step closer? What if we spend more time together? What if i was more nice to him? Could something actually happen?

But then he sees InkPat in the music room and Pran loses the spirit he had suddenly gained. 

Maybe not. Pat probably didnt feel the same way.

 And then the bracelet thing happens. 

Of course he didnt feel the same way. 

And then the christmas show happens and they practice together again, they play music together again and music and his feelings for Pat have somehow been inextricably intertwined ever since that conversation they first had about the song. And so here he was finally singing the song in front of people, declaring his feelings out loud, and the crowd was actually cheering and grooving to their song and the whole vibe of it puts him in a space where he feels anything could happen and in a rare moment of indulgence he turns to smile at Pat while singing the song he wrote about them. 

But then before he could even taste the feeling of freedom that that performance was potentially offering him, it all comes crashing down as he sees his parents standing in front of him, face aghast and anger writ large on it. And before Pran knows it he's shipped off to a boarding school away from everything he ever knew.

For any teenager that's a harsh change. For a neurodivergent gay introvert like Pran it would have been an even more isolating experience. Finding himself in an unfamiliar environment with no friends, no family and just a bunch of strangers, his only companions the anger and frustration at the whole situation at his mother and the boy who broke his heart (oblivious though he was of it).

How could Pran have let this happen? How could he have ever thought there was something there? And even if there was, that something could happen? How could he let him in? Of course it was gonna end up like this.

3 years at the boarding school pass and we can assume that Pran makes his own set of friends during this time. But we know that none if any are close enough for him to even bring up later on. Which means the one person who got him to open up, who gave him a safe space to talk and share feelings was still Pat. The one person he didn't have to be anything other than himself was, Pat. The only person who he ever felt comfortable enough to open up to was Pat. And Pran can't believe his terrible luck when he sees him stand across from him. 

Unlike Pat who has seemingly gone back to acting like a spoilt child fighting for no reason who is trying to hold onto the person he had become the past 3 years when Pran sees Pat all his feelings come rushing back to him. Despite it all, despite the three years of gap where he swore to never let himself be in such a position again, the moment he sees Pat he is gone again. Because the three years felt like nothing suddenly. And he's once again standing across from the boy who broke his heart.

Why the hell did this have to happen? Out of all the universities he could go to, why this one?

And this time things are more conducive to their budding friendship. And Pat  soon gives up his macho act and somehow keeps finding excuses to spend time with him. Of course Pran's feelings sprung back up in twice the ferocity.

His defences were still up but what the hell was happening?

Why is he helping him out for no reason? Why is he offering to do that? What the hell is being like this way for? Why is he smiling at his dimples like that? This possibly can't be real.

And yet. Day after day Pat keeps coming back and Pran's defenses are slowly threatening to come down and it's scary but its also exhilarating, but it's mostly scary.

And then he's proven right. To have been scared.

Because of course Pat never feels the same way. Of course he likes Ink. Of course that's what was happening all along. Silly Pran letting himself hope again. How foolish of him.

Episode 5 is Pran scrambling to pull back and secure his defenses, Pat is never getting through this wall again. He's done with this. He can't possibly be heartbroken over and over and over again for the same oblivious guy who probably has not a single clue what he's doing to Pran's heart.

And then the freshy night happens and then Pat acts a confusing combination of angry and hurt at the bar and Pran is supposed to be celebrating but he can't wipe Pat's betrayed face from his mind and then if that wasn't enough the confrontation with Wai happens and things come to a shrieking halt in the rooftop where Pran has finally had it. He tells him.

He finally lets it out, in the most Pran way he could at that point, telling Pat to not give him any hope to not do this to him. But instead of the final nail on the coffin that he expects Pat to hammer in, he knocks the winds out of him as he tells no, because no he actually does not want to be friends. He actually wanted what Pran wanted?

After all this time?

And then they step closer and wait for a while before Pat finally leans in, giving him the kiss that he had been dreaming about since god knows how long. Except the kiss is too short and maybe Pat had only that much to give, but Pran had years worth of love and want and longing he had been carrying around and he wanted nothing more than to let it all go. And so he does. He pulls Pat closer and gives him the kiss that he's been wanting to give him forever. 

Pran tells Pat every single one of his feelings through that kiss. Because he was never going to ever be able to put them into words was he? But alas...if Pat wasn't putting the final nail on the coffin, then the wave of realizations that follow the kiss tells Pran that he needs to be the one to do it.

It's never gonna work out ever. This is the most they could ever have. And knowing that Pat returned his feelings doesn't make it any easier.

Because what the hell was he doing? Letting himself go like this!? Setting himself up for getting hurt again? Pat may have kissed him, but he liked Ink too didnt he? And even if he didn't any longer, their families hated each other. And the last time they knew they got close, Pran had to go through hell and back. 

How could he do this to himself again? No.

It is over. It has to be over. He can't keep getting hurt again.

And he pulls back.

By miles. He is done letting his guard down and getting hurt and causing hurt. This is best in the long run. He should just stay away from Pat. No matter how much it hurt. It was never gonna work out anyways.

But then Pat comes back. Pran pushes him away. He has to give up at some point. He has to. Why would he keep coming back? But Pat keeps surprising Pran. He keeps coming back and butting in and being a pain in the ass and Pran is at his wit's end because he just doesn't know how much more he can withstand. He could see how much effort Pat was putting just to have a conversation with him. And eventhough he was staying away to protect himself he also thought he was doing it for Pat's sake too. That it was better for everybody in the long run. But Pat's steadfast efforts finally get to him.

He was still the one person in the world he could truly be open in front of. His defenses were somehow at his weakest. And sitting there on that beach dreaming of a reality where their parents don't have a life consuming feud going on Pran actually lets himself open up once again. After that it was just a matter of time before Pran was lured into the who falls in love first challenge bet. Bringing their love for competing with eo into this was the only way Pran could be eased into this.

Pat knows him so well. They've come so far. What the hell, he could win this challenge couldn't he? Pat followed him all the way to their hostile architecture trip didn't he? He would cave in.

Pat keeps surprising him though he keeps finding new ways to flirt and stump him, and Pran never to be beaten has a few tricks up his sleeve too.

Neither end up winning and things stay in that will they won't they when will they limbo and there was all chance of it continuing indefinitely and then Pat surprises him again.

He doesn't take Pran's easy out. Pran had basically offered to confess and end this bet. Pat was being handed an easy win. But he declines it. And then he surprises him even more by walking into the loss, showing up to play Kwan in a drama he didn't even need to act in, in a play he signed up for just to flirt with Pran and now the play he is offering to do, entirely and completely for Pran. At this point Pat really had the upper hand in the bet. And he still willingly volunteers to lose. He puts himself out there, knowing he will lose. Because on the other end of it Pat saw a relationship with Pran. Why prolong it any longer? And how could Pran not melt at that. Bet be damned. 

And that's why he cooks curry for Pat and when Pat tries to eat it himself, Pran stops him, looks at him meaningfully and then feeds it to him, as if signalling to Pat that if you lost for me, i'm losing for you too.

And so they start dating. And Pran now has to get used to this feeling of his defenses being down. His vulnerabilities exposed and his heart basically out there to be hurt. It was absolutely terrifying. And he wouldn't have had the courage to go for it if Pat hadn't done what he did. Showing him that he valued Pran and his feelings over his own ego. Pat's consistency and sacrifice proved beyond a shadow of doubt as somebody Pran could actually trust himself with. Over and above his overwhelming love for Pat, I believe it is that trust that helped him take that step. 

And Pat keeps showing him every step of the way that the trust was given in safe hands. After every fight, every disagreement, they stop and they talk and they communicate. Pran asks for time. Pat gives it. Pran asks him to keep it under wraps. He's okay with it. Pran compromises on a lot of things himself. He steps out of his comfort zone, willingly does things he wouldn't have dreamt of otherwise just to make Pat happier.

Because he realizes that if the relationship has to work, they both need to put equal effort. By being with Pat, Pran while being in a safe space gets to open up his heart in ways he would have been afraid to otherwise.

It is implied that Pran is the one who cooks for both of them, he leaves cute notes to make Pat smile when he's upset, he does random thoughtful things like putting the paste on the toothbrush for a waking Pat, he hurries home immediately to comfort an upset Pat, and even if it made his friend mad he still showed up to practice sessions and games because he wanted to support Pat and be there for him.

When Wai outs them it is the tremendous trust that he has in Pat and their relationship that helps Pran go over to assuage Pat and helps them get through it together. Every step of the way every block in the path they handle it together. His trust in Pat, his belief in their love growing more and more.

And that's why when Pran sees that Pat is quite serious about staying on at the beach, despite his reservations and fears and wanting to be there for his mother too he still goes all in. Of course he does. Of course he goes all in for the boy he has loved ever since he knew what love was. The one person who kept showing up over and over. The only one who he had complete and utter trust in, to be there for him. 

Because finally, finally Pran could see what he couldn't even dream of when he was young and a life he didn't dare let himself think about in their few months of relationship. A life with Pat, the kindest warmest love-shaped boy he knew, no matter how silly he could get, he would always want to be there for him, with him and he no longer felt like he had to clutch onto his defenses like they were the only thing he really had, because no? He had Pat didn't he?

The only person who knew what it was like being in Pran's shoes, and who loved him nonetheless and maybe even all the more because of it, the way Pran did with him, because he knew Pat would never hurt him knowingly.

He could do this.

He could do this with him.

His belief in their love, his trust in their relationship, the commitment that Pat expressed to him in that conversation, ensured that no matter what challenges came up later in their fake break up era, things would still be okay. It's because of that faith that Pran knew that he could afford to go to Singapore for a couple of years and they would remain strong though it all because of that assurance and confidence he felt in himself, in Pat and this relationship that they had nurtured and cherished.

We see him grow up from a boy who was scared of feeling things to a boy who was brave enough to overcome that fear to let himself be open to hurt to crying in the arms of Pat, letting himself be his most vulnerable to braving hurt to fighting for what he loves and doing what he feels is right.

We see his growth from when he went from being afraid to express his feelings to expressing that in actions and then in words and asking Pat to do the public confession and writing a song for him and asking him how good he was in bed and demanding Pat call him sweetly.

Unafraid of his wants or desires and no longer averse to expressing them. We see him growing beyond childish hijinks to buying a gift for the man who had once hurt his mother, because two things can be true at once ( Ming was an asshole, but he was still Pat's father). He was building a life with Pat, and a meticulous planner like Pran was obviously not going to leave his relationship with his future father in law to chance. 

And that's my take on how Pran went from "You still owe me" to "Every time i'm near you, nothing good happens" to "Can you please stay away from me?" to "You know that fact (that you aren't my friend) now leave" to "Someone like you what's to like?" to "You've got to stop doing this to me Pat" to "Why start when you know how it's gonna end" to "It's the kind of relationship i always avoid"  to "I care about you more" to "if you want my hand be brave" to "If i do that (thinking of it as a song for Pat) then how can i ever really quit" to "Being with you already feels like freedom" to "We like each other. Why does it bother anyone?" to "I can be anywhere as long as i have you" to "I wrote this song for him." to "Give it to him for me" to "If not you i won't allow anyone else to use it" to "Call me nicely" unafraid of expressing his feelings and desires, heart more open and loving than the one he started off with.  

To conclude and in short throughout the show the growth we see in Pran is perfectly illustrated in his password change from the Pran (who was uber protective of his own self and was emotionally repressed and closed off trying to appear cool and unaffected) of Pran So Cool to the unabashedly in love Pran (having made rapid progress in expressing his feelings and braving fears) of Pran in Love, and it's Pat's love and kindness that helped him along the way. 

The world didn't change him. Pat's love did.

#bad buddy #pran x pat #pran parakul #bad buddy meta #patpran #bad buddy brain rot #bad buddy the series #i may have projected a bit #okay a lot #but im also probably right

[rouge-the-bat]

i was tagged by @princesstokyomoon owo! ty for the tag i love talking about myself LOL

nickname: [not including nicknames based on my irl name for obvious reasons] rouge is what i go by online, sometimes called rougey too :3 kurama is another nickname, so is weirdo (started based on my old url, weirdobsessivenerd). i used to go by yoshi a while back in school too with some people

sign: taurus ♉️ !

height: uhh im 5'2" or 5'3" iirc

last thing i googled: koltins locations in totk, bc im hunting down bubbul frogs rn ! i have 32 left to get atm owo

amount of sleep: eh varies tbh? usually i get around 8-10 hours but sometimes it can be a little less or a little more depending on the night

dream job: character designer for video games!!! + general graphic design n world design n stuff like that. i love LOVE designing things, especially characters, its been one of my biggest and longest passions in my life !!! characters are my absolute fave thing to enjoy and work on, and i hope to one day create characters others can fall in love with like i have for many characters!!!

wearing: a hot pink nightgown with black lace, and black lacey shorts! its so cozy n me core :3

media that summarizes me: like... summarizes my personality? my interests?? hmm... im not really. sure what would really summarize me for my personality? maybe some of my fave things since they tend to have quite an effect on me?

the sonic series i think is a good representation of how im unashamed to be genuine to myself, positive and loving what i love and not caring about being cringy. and it absolutely influenced my love for rockin music, colorful series with darker stories, and edgy antiheroes lol.

maybe system of a down would be a good thing to mention here too, i love all of their music and they definitely have rockin high energy music that can get really wacky sometimes, and ive always had a love for weird shit and identified with being weird!

favourite songs: ough hmm.. ill limit myself to like. 6 songs i really love rather than trying to figure out my Favoritest Faves bc im indecisive lol. n gonna do some different styles for a variety of my tastes!

bring me the horizon ft babymetal - kingslayer

in this moment - sick like me

omega tribe - summer suspicion

megumi ogata - fukanzen nenshou

riff kitten ft kumiho - fallen world

i dont know how but they found me - mx. sinister

instruments: this is so vague lol like. is this meaning ones ik how to play? my fave instruments?

well for ones i know how to play- well i used to know how to play anyways- i played the clarinet in band! n at some point i got an ocarina n tried learning that but never worked on it much. i used to be able to play a couple little tunes on it tho (like the jigglypuff song from the pokemon anime. or part of it at least). someday ill get back to it...

for my fave instruments... id probably say the violin and piano. i really love the sound of them, and i like how much emotion they can evoke!

aesthetic: oh god where do i even begin gkdkfbdkf i have a MILLION aesthetics i love lol. lovecore is probably my biggest one though, but i also love tech/glitchy stuff, gems, mermaid/ocean, general nature/flowers, clown/carnival, christmas, halloween, witchy, punk/goth/scene/emo (together since there can be some overlap between the aesthetics, ik theyre not the same), night/dreamy, space, yandere for a darker twist on lovecore stuff, and much much more. i love anything from pastel n cute, to neon and dynamic, to dark n creepy. i just!! absolutely adore aesthetics!!! its what im all about!

favourite author: ...i dont have one fkxbjf i havent read a book in years and even when i used to read more i didnt have one. could i just say yoshihiro togashi since he created the manga of my fave anime (yu yu hakusho) lmao?

random fun fact: i love pickles and will drink pickle juice straight out of the jar. have yall ever had pickle pops??? its like popsicles but with frozen pickle juice. i LOVE it. actually i should find our popsicle molds so i can make some soon

some mutuals to tag: if yall wanna, ill tag @megalo-station @mageofcolors @transgaykurama @foxdenji @skrunksthatwunk @l-lawliets-pussy @yoko-kurama-the-sex-god @shining-bewear @pipwife and weve only been mutuals for a short time but ill tag @shrineguardianhyena too owo

#*waves* and off i go back to tears of the kingdom

[frankenkyle19]

GIRLLLLL I GOTTA KNOW! WHO DO YOU SHIP ME WITH???

I’m 5’4, 24 almost 25 super curvy, (I’ve got massive mommy milkers) I’m introverted but I’m not shy. I have a sick dark sense of humor, I’m very sarcastic and I’m goth. I love darker things, like skulls, ravens and I have several tattoos!

I struggle with my mental health, so I need a lot of reassurance and love. I love to cuddle! I love cold weather. I LOVE METAL MUSIC. I love to listen to super heavy music, but I also love pop, musicals and I just love finding new music.

I love to read, write and cook (mostly bake) I’m a very determined, strong person. It takes a lot to get to me and I’m very passionate about my interests. I love horror movies, dark tv shows and true crime. But I also secretly love the bachelor. My love language is physical touch and words of affirmation. I’m very feisty but I’m also extremely loving and sensitive (bpd issues) I’m artistic and I’m strangely smart? Like I can always win jeopardy and bingo lol.

ALSO! I’m a romantic at heart and a big dreamer. I don’t trust easily and it’s hard for me to open up to someone, but once I love you, I love very hard. I have a big heart and I’m very much the mom friend lol.

ID LOVE TO HEAR YOUR OPINION BOO

OMGGG I think… Tate!!

Would love your curves and would absolutely fall asleep with his head resting on your boobs (I don’t make the rules. And bro is obsessed) Biggest snuggle bug, loves cuddles and words of affirmation. Super protective of you. he also struggles with mental health and you two could probably bond over that and it would bring you two closer. Like super unbreakable bond close. You two against the world.

he’d love your sense of humor and taste in music. Would always ask you to introduce him to new music and usually loves what you love as well.

would also love your tattoos. Adores them. Traces his fingers across them, super curious as to what it was like to get them, since he never had the chance to get any. Would ask tons of questions about them and the meaning behind them and why you decided to get them.

he’d love to come up behind you while you’re baking and just hold you, resting his head on your shoulder. he’d love your feisty but loving personality, as his is a lot of the same. He’s kinda like a “I hate everyone but you.” Type of person. Pretty clingy which at times can be frustrating but if you talk to him about it, he’d try his best to give you some space.

(if anyone else wants my opinion on which character I’d ship you with just inbox me some about yourself! I find these super duper fun)

[salt-up-to-your-ankles]

since its pride month i present to you:

my favourite men xoxo

(ps there may be spoilers for games / shows!!)

1. ALEX KAPRANOS - FRANZ FERDINAND

where do i even BEGIN first off hes so good looking like oh my god hes definitely to blame for my gay awakening and he seems like such a nice guy hes so talented and energetic at the franz concerts hes just really cool

2. LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR - LUCIFER

okay please do not spoil any because im on season 2 anyway omg hes so hot its not even funny i love his accent even though i hate the british (kidding) and hes actually pretty funny lol

3. GERARD WAY - MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

oh he is sosososo hot and his voice is so fit too hes so good looking and so sweet and such an icon honestly hes super talented too i love him so much i love all of mcr tbh theyre all cool also his hair especially in hesitant alien >>

4. CLIFF UNGER - DEATH STRANDING

okay hes REALLY good looking im sorry like dilf? sorry. dilf? sorry. anyway i also think hes pretty badass especially in the war parts of the game and i feel kinda bad for him like he only wanted his kid back poor guy

5. LUKE DANES - GILMORE GIRLS

aaafsghfgshs i love him so so so much hes so sweet hes so funny i love him with all my heart he deserves happiness he deserves everything and hes so cute i wish lukes diner was real so bad

6. CONNOR - DETROIT BECOME HUMAN

hes such an awesome guy (so is bryan dechart btw) and i love his dynamics with hank as well as his personality he can be such a badass and so cute at the same time also hes good looking and i really like his suit it looks good

7. MARKUS - DETROIT BECOME HUMAN

god hes hot im sorry also his eyes???? hello???? sex??? kidding but anyway hes a super badass hes so cool and i love him i feel bad and i wish he lived a happy life with carl but also hes super awesome so

8. JAN BORYSEWICZ - LADY PANK

mmm hes good looking also i love lady pank theyre so cool id write this part in polish but the rests in english so itd look super weird but anyway hes so cool and still is

9. DR FRANK N FURTER - ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW

ladies and gentlemen i wont lie he made me question my sexuality a little hes so hot but you know what i love more than men? men in drag xoxo he pulls all the outfits off so good and his voice is amazing

10. MIKEY WAY - MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

you cant have one way without the other amirite guys anyway i love him so much hes probably my favourite member i loved him when he was younger i love him how he is now he looks amazing any time and hes such a good bass play and honestly a bit of an inspiration musically

NOO TUMBLR WONT LET ME ADD MORE PHOTOS

YOU WILL NOT SILENCE ME I WILL SHOW THE WORLD MY BAD TASTE IN MEN !!!

anyway yeah if you can see a type no you cant

#gay #mlm #gay mlm #lgbtq #franz ferdinand #alex kapranos #cliff unger #death stranding #detroit markus #dbh #dbh markus #detroit become human #detroit: connor #connor dbh #mcr #my chemical romance #gerard way #mikey way #lady pank #jan borysewicz #rocky horror picture show #dr frank n furter #gilmore girls #luke danes #luke gilmore girls #lucifer netflix #lucifer morningstar

[margolovescoffeeandbooks]

hi margo!! i hope this isn’t too much of a bother but i started watching daisy jones & the six, even thought i haven’t read it yet. i have so many thoughts :’) and i know it’s one of your favourite books so i thought id come to you!!

i was going to wait to watch it, but i was too excited and i also have so many other books on my tbr i didn’t want to wait so long. but like — idk i’m sobbing right now 😭 camila is such a beautiful character i love her so much. and i love daisy too. she’s amazing and complex which i really appreciate. i love all the songs so far (i’m on episode 6), but i just went on tiktok and saw the most gut wrenching thing ive ever seen :’) it was an audiobook of camila confronting daisy. i lost it 😭 i’m not even that far in the show but idc anymore. apparently they cut that scene from the show?? how could they do that???? that is such a powerful scene, and it just screams sisterhood in a way i have never heard so beautifully. and then i read the comments and people say they really sort of “ruined” daisy and camilas relationship, and made it seem like high school drama which it never was and now i’m like— should i just listen to the audiobook first?? i’m so upset that i won’t be able to see that moment between them on screen :( idk what to do 😭 all i know is i love camila and daisy and simone and karen like :( any scene between all of them makes me want to sob bc the sisterhood is just so amazing 😭 anyways. i had no idea id feel so drawn to this book / series but i’m so glad i decided to give it a try.

do you have any advice on what i should do? 😭 would it really make a difference if i read it before i finished watching it??

hello! no worries, you could never bother me! i love getting asks from you and all my mutuals! i've just been struggling with finding enough free time to respond to them lately... school's been particularly hard in the past few months and i'm trying to spend less time on tumblr for the sake of my mental health. but i promise everyone here that if you send me an ask, i will surely respond to it! you just have to be patient with me.

yes, it is one of my favourites! and i've finished the show about two weeks ago. it was an absolute rollercoaster of emotions, both positive and negative (mainly negative though).

i totally understand it! i would've probably done the same if i were you. i absolutely agree. camila's awesome. she's one of my favourite characters of all the time. she's so kind and wise. i aspire to be her! and daisy's great as well! she's fierce and charismatic. i really love her! the album is probably the best thing about the show. even my mom said she loved it and she grew up with fleetwood mac and other 70's band. besides, she's kind of a music snob (in a positive way). her taste is immaculate so if she said so, it is definitely true. yes, they cut it! i was so furious, you have no idea... i made everyone, my mum, my friends, listen to me complaining about it for days. they replaced that beautiful, powerful scene with a whiny, high school argument over a guy! they ruined many things in this show, but them erasing that conversation between daisy and camila disappointed me the most. it's been a while since you send me this so i don't know if you've already made the decision, but if i were you, i'd listen to the audiobook first. the book is way better than the show. yes, i adore them! it's an amazing story. i'm so glad you gave it a try!

#asks #beloved mutuals

[badpancakelol]

some of the intro of my new chapter, THE MISSTEP !!

See, the best type of fake ID is a fake ID that draws on reality. It isn’t hard to look like he might be twenty-one, when he’s nearly there already — nineteen and going strong. When Eddie hands his card over to the bouncer, a man with a slightly receding hairline and an eyebrow piercing, he isn’t even worried. He knows that the lights cast shadows across his face that make him look a little more gaunt and weathered, but as he’s ushered in, a welcome, Eddie on the lips of the bouncer, he doesn’t really care.

The thing is, he was right. When he was talking (read: arguing) to Gareth in the van about any type of non-straight scene in Hawkins, he was right: there isn’t one. And, no, he doesn’t count the secret show-up-to-some-dude’s-basement-party-who-kinda-gives-off-queer-vibes as a ‘scene’, okay?

Out here in Indianapolis, not so far that it’s hard to get to, not so close that he thinks he’ll run into anyone (and, really, if he does run into someone, what are they even gonna say to him? They’re in the same goddamned club as him), it’s easy enough to feel open and free and loose in a way that sings beneath his skin. 

He knows that his bank account is gonna suffer for the gas it took to come up here, but as the lights shine over his face, blinding in colours that are vaguely familiar, with shimmers of some he didn’t even know were possible, he doesn’t find himself caring.

Eddie isn’t stupid — he knows why he does it. Why he goes alone to the club, instead of with his band members who, without a doubt, would support him every step of the way, who would probably enjoy being in an atmosphere like this. 

But ever since that car ride with Gareth, there’s been some sort of tension between them, like an invisible rubber band that was pulling and pulling until it finally snapped and crackled — a sharp sting, and nothing more, really — but the rubber band is still there, smaller, quieter, as well as the hurt.

Eddie had apologised, yes, and Gareth had quietly told him that he was still there, no matter how you wanna approach this, okay? He said that he wasn’t going to push it, and he didn’t. Didn’t even bring it up again, didn’t mention anything about Steve, or Eddie’s lovesick lyrics, or even about him being not-so-straight. And, yet, the rubber band lingered.

He shakes himself off, a little flurry of more-than-usual messy hair, that can easily be excused away as a shiver from the change in temperature, or maybe some alternative dance move. Oh, you don’t get it? Must be too underground, or something. Eddie didn’t come here to wallow in self pity, or think of how to apologise. Out of everyone, he knows that sometimes apologies aren’t enough.

Making a beeline to the bar, he orders a fancy cocktail that Hawkins could only ever dream of serving. It’s citrus-y with hints of coconut and lime, and some other fruit that he tries to get a hold of. It’s expensive, yes, and kind of tastes like lolly water, but god if it isn’t gonna make him tipsy.

He sips it through the straw, grateful for the plastic cup when a girl knocks into his shoulder. She shoots him an apologetic smile before racing off into the crowd. Eddie feels the slight stickiness of the table, slick and hot under his partially spilt drink. 

Eddie watches as the girl, easy enough to spot in the crowd with her glow-in-the-dark earrings and pink teased hair, runs to another girl. He sees them embrace under the pulsing lights, and looks away, feeling as if he was intruding on a moment that is too private, so safe, within the confines of the bodies on the dance floor.

The music, while not what he would listen to in his spare time, is good. It’s poppy and it’s preppy, but he can appreciate the classics, the gay icons of music, and their soulful vocals and disco song. Maybe it’s nice to pretend that he’s someone who comes here often, who’s maybe twenty-one or older, who likes to listen to the Top 40 Hits on the radio. 

Secession turns to Depeche Mode turns to Erasure to Bowie, and he’s gifted with the sounds and the feeling of a hundred voices screaming their lungs out to gay anthems, of people who made it, who continue to make it, who say we are here, and we are terrified, and we are alive. Eddie looks to the crowd, tries to catalogue the nameless faces of these beautiful people who are singing, who are crying, who are dancing and kissing and drinking like there’s nothing that can possibly hurt them. 

There are so many people, so many goddamned people, people who are like him, and it is nothing like Hawkins at all. He catches the eye of a man wearing thick blue eyeliner, who has his hair drenched in sweat, his arm around his partner, and there is a moment where nothing is said, where nothing is even heard over the people, over the masses, but the man with blue eyeliner mouths words that are lost amongst the crowd, words that seem to ask are you okay? and Eddie realises that he is crying. 

And it feels good. 

It feels so fucking good to cry.

So he nods back to the man with blue eyeliner, who sends him an understanding smile over the heads of people, and then he is whisked away into the crowd. Eddie leaves his drink by the bar, finished with the cocktail, and merges into the warm bodies, lets them envelop him. Everyone is uncomfortably sticky and warm and sweaty, and Eddie is sure his makeup has run from his tears, but when he dances with them, shouts and sings will it come true? Will anything happen? Will I see you again? he finds himself at home.

(When he is done for the night — bone-tired and ecstatic, buzzing in every sense of the word — he heads to the bar for a bottle of water for the road. Eddie’s lips feel tingly from where he kissed a man with short brown hair and a soothing smile in the heat of a Queen song, and it makes him feel giddy inside. Because there was no expectation, no promise, just a meaningless, meaningful kiss, for the sake of kissing. And he gets it. He understands.

Eddie slides up to the bar, shouts a hoarse voice over the counter in the kindest way possible. The bartender nods, no doubt more tired than himself, and slides the cool bottle across the counter. And when he turns for the door, he spots a head of hair that is all too vaguely familiar.

Robin, from band, from drama.

Robin, from Hawkins.

He spots her word vomiting to a girl that looks enraptured with her, shy in a way that’s endearing. When Robin pauses to take a breath and tilt her head up above the crowd, they make eye contact, and it’s like a connection has formed).

#steve harrinton #steve x eddie #steveddie #eddie x steve #steve harrington #eddie stranger things #eddie munson #ao3 #ao3fic #stranger things 4 #stranger thing #stranger things

[speci-society]

23 and 29 for the music asks?

23: a song you think everyone should hear

OOH hay can i give like Three answers? Ive got 3 answers for 3 reasons

1. Transdermal Celebration - Ween

I've got a few Ween songs I'd recommend to people with the main purpose of showing a good sample of Ween outside of just Ocean Man or their genea reputation for making weird garbage music (which dont get me wrong, I like the weird garbage music, i'm a fan of The HIV Song, it's just that its not everyones taste). This is probably the best one out of those good samples tho, just because it's a good showcase of some Ween staples- weird but interesting lyrics that may or may not be about LSD, and REALLY good instrumentals that not only itch a specific part of your brain that responds to Good Music, but tenderly gives it a full massage and an arousing slap on the ass before tucking it into bed while making out with it. Listen and you'll get what i mean

2. Tardigrade Song - Cosmo Sheldrake

This one's pretty simple, i've loved cosmo sheldrake since middle school and especially this song, and i just think more people should know about his music! Also itches that part of my brain that responds to Good Music but this song (and by extension every other Cosmo Sheldrake song) instead takes it on a journey to a fairy circle in a swamp to visit The Bug King and his valued allies in The Flock Of The Marsh and then you're knocked out and dropped in a forest behind your house, even if you don't have Trees behind your house?

3. Arabesque - Coldplay

Also pretty simple, good coldplay song that I don't think got a whole lot of attention. I don't have a brain analogy for this one it's just good

29: a song that you remember from childhood

Ok Ig im doing 3 for this one too?????

1. Don't Panic - Coldplay

I basically was born to this album lmfao? Like Parachutes was on on various cds in the house for basically as long as I can remember. I listened to it pretty much every night up until i was about 6 and it rotated between this cd of african lullabies that my grandma found, and it basically stayed in a rotation of various other albums up until late 2020 when my schedule was shifted enough to where playing cds out loud to sleep to didnt really make sense in my house. As in. I was staying up too late lmfao. But anyway Dont Panic is the first song on that album, and it was definitely the album that I listened to the most as a young child, so its the first one thay comes to mind for childhood songs

2. How Does The Sun Shine? - They Might Be Giants

YAYYYY I GET TO TALK ABT TMBG NOW truthfully i didn't get super into tmbg untim a couple years ago BUT. my grandma bought me that science album when i was 6 and it was absolutely a favorite. Like probably my favorite album that wasn't coldplay when i was little. And this was my favorite track from there! Meet the elements was a close second

3. This Sound - EnV

A bit of a weird one, also from a bit later on in young childhood (about 9 or 10) but this was when I first got spotify and i GUESS just started dicking around looking at soundtracks to video games id mever heard of?? Or probably it saw that the only albums i saved were Every Coldplay Album, minecraft soundtrack(s) and terraria soundtrack(s) amd suggested a bunch of indie game osts including the original Binding of Isaac (NOT rebirth but the og), Crypt of the Necrodancer, Super Meat Boy, and Electronic Super Joy here. I also partially credit me finding a bunch of osts for various well known indie vames for me now vastly preferring indie games to basically any triple a games or series. Like I see artists make lineups of indie game characters and i can point out the names of about half of them and at the very least, what game they represent for a good 50-75% of them. No clue if i can do the same for like triple a series' ohtside of ones everhoen knows (mario link master chief etc) i just have my roots in very specifically indie games and their music lmfao

4. Kisses In The Wind - Rosie Ledet

This is one of my grandma's favorite songs! She played it a bunch while she was cooking when i was little! Good song, all there is to it

#speci speaks #asks

[takamishinko]

hey its me again, feel free to do other requests if you have them but id like to ask if could you do a nsfw part 2 to denkis “your scars are beautiful”. or really just a denki x m reader nsfw scenario/smutshot (?) thing if you dont feel like continuing it, thank you in advance :D

first time writing smut ahaha this was fun to write

charging...

pronouns: he/him

warnings: nsfw, swallowing, no protection

a/n: we could've finished this wqy earlier but we can't take anything seriously and fucked around for like a good hour laughing our asses off lol

e/n (editors note): wap wap wap wap wap 😹

_____

you and denki just finished having dinner at a restaurant with the rest of the bakusquad. it was a pretty nice hangout thing you guys did often. every friday you guys would go to a specific place mina introduced to everyone and you all ended up loving the place. they had food that catered to everyone's taste, even bakugou’s hard to satisfy palette. 

you and the squad headed back to the dorms together, it was no secret that you and denki shared the same room since you two were dating so everyone else went back to their own rooms while you and denki headed back together. denki flopped onto the bed you both shared the second he opened the door, not before taking off his shoes of course.

denki sighed with content, "ahhh~ that place is good as always, it never fails to disappoint me with the burgers, i could eat them all day i swear!" he exclaimed happily. you chuckled at his cute antics.

"oh! we also don't have school tomorrow, woohoo!" denki finished as he stretched his arms out.

you weren't really bothered by denki's rambles since you knew he was the talkative type and tended to go on rambles a lot. but this time wasn't like the usual… it was almost like he was trying to hint to you something. 

you knew exactly what denki was up to. telling you the room was kind of hot, unbuttoning his shirt just enough so that you can see his pecs. while denki's body wasn't as buff as shoji’s or bakugou’s but it was still pretty well built even being on the lean side. you would also be a big ass liar if you said you weren't turned on by his actions. of course your boyfriend teasing you would turn you on.

though you knew what he was trying to do you kept up your clueless act because it was fun for you to tease him back a little. you were having your amusement playing innocent in front of him until the blonde male suddenly grabbed you by the shoulders and pushed you down onto the bed. 

“heh, playing innocent on me huh? c’mon baby~ i know you want all this.” he said as he unbuttoned his shirt completely and took it off. his abs and pecs were irresistible and the proof was the hard on you had in your pants, you knew it well and so did denki. 

“i have no idea what you’re talking about babe~” you teased back, a playful grin forming at the corner of your lips. 

“fine! i guess i’ll have to show you with actions then.” 

your boyfriend’s lips pressed onto yours without any hesitation, his tongue immediately slipping into your mouth, who were you to resist him? the kiss he gave was sloppy but you didn’t mind it a single bit, it was actually quite arousing to you and you enjoyed it. of course you couldn’t let your boyfriend have all the fun so you put a little force into the kiss too instead of just letting his tongue swirl around in your mouth. the kiss between you broke after a minute or so, both of your faces red. you looked down and saw a bulge in denki’s sweatpants.

you licked your lips, “c’mon, take them off big guy~ you’re suffering in those.” you giggled with a licentious look gracing your features.

“with pleasure baby.” denki replied, nothing but pure lust dripping from each word.

you already seen denki’s cock before but something about the outline of it on his comical lightning patterned boxers turned you on to the max. without second thoughts you started to lick your boyfriend’s cock through his boxers, teasing him while you’re at it.

“why don’t you play with what’s under it instead?” he groaned out at the sight of you. god you turned him on so much.

you didn’t reply and pulled down his yellow boxers instead. his cock sprung out with excitement. denki was probably not the biggest, but it was definitely above average and enough to satisfy every last one of your needs. you wrapped your lips around his cock and started going further down inch by inch, using your tongue to lap at it as well. denki’s face contorted into pleasure. wanton moans inevitably escaped his mouth and they were like music to your ears. this egged you on and you hollowed out your cheeks as he fucked your mouth.

“oh fuck! y/n i’m getting close, ah- cumming!” he whined loudly.

without leaving his dick you swallowed every last drop of cum from you received from him. you opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out to show him you enjoyed it, as if you were telling him “thank you for the meal.”

“that felt so fucking good baby… i want more, can i put it in?” he asked, feeling a bit impatient.

“you’re insatiable,” you chucked out, he rolled his eyes in response “but of course you can~” 

as soon as denki heard your answer he practically jumped on you to pull down your pants and your boxers together leaving your ass and cock exposed to him. you flushed at his rushed movements.

 “denki-”

he cut you off, “you’re so fucking hot baby, i wanna fuck you so bad.” denki spoke with desire while looking at your lower half.

your boyfriend couldn’t wait any longer so he grabbed the lube that was sitting in his nightstand and spread some on his finger

“just relax alright?” he murmured as he spread a generous amount of lube onto his fingers and started to loosen you up. he started with one and eventually added two more fingers. you jolted a little as your entrance was explored but once denki had hit a certain spot your eyes rolled back of your head, your back arched and you let out a whine.

“o-oh fuck! denki!” you gasped out, your hips jerking upwards as he continued to abuse your prostate. tears formed at your eyes, you felt like you were melting, his fingers felt so good. 

your mewls shot straight down to his cock, “feels good huh?” he leaned down, whispering into your ear before nipping on it. you couldn’t respond to his sultry tone, you were so out of it. god you needed more.

"denki just put it in already..! i can't help it anymore. i need your cock." you mewled weakly, your voice hoarse. 

"alright~ don't blame me if i go a lil' too hard on ya now." denki grinned as he shoved his dick straight into your hole, hitting your prostate immediately. you let out a loud moan as he immediately thrusts at a fast pace.

you gasped and whimpered out, “a-ah! denki! slow down a little… too fast.” you couldn’t keep up with his pace. 

“can’t handle it babe? i’ll slow down for you then.” denki replies with a smirk. he didn’t want to hurt you.

denki then continued to make slow yet deep thrusts into your ass. they didn’t hurt like the first time you guys did but rather euphoric. his cock was hitting a spot that your fingers or toys could’ve never reached, a whole new level of pleasure. even though this wasn’t your first time it felt so good having your boyfriend inside you again, he never fails to disappoint you in the bedroom. 

“nggh, your ass feels so fucking good. you take my cock so well baby boy.” denki moaned. 

“y-your cock feels so good denki..!” you replied, a trail drool indecently leaving your mouth, mixing on the sheets with the salty tears that fell from your eyes.

he then again pressed his lips onto yours and invaded your mouth with his tongue. it almost felt like heaven, making out with your boyfriends passionately while his big cock hit your prostate over and over again. the pleasure made you lose yourself and you didn’t even notice that you were getting close, and with denki picking up the rhythm of his thrusts, you could tell he was close too. 

“d-denki! i’m gonna cum-“ you moan out loudly in a high pitched tone.

denki groans at the feeling of your walls tightening around his dick. “me too baby- let’s come together..!” 

and just before he could finish his sentence both of you reached your climax and both of you moaned out in shameless pleasure. the two of you stared at each other and tried to regulate your breaths.

“you felt amazing baby...” denki spoke with affection while holding your cheek with his right hand. 

“you felt really good too denki...” you reply as you did the same with your left hand.

the two of you shared a quick kiss before giggling. the two of you were fatigued after your activities, both of you quickly took a shower together and got into bed. both of you fell asleep while cuddling each other on the bed.

#bnha #bnha x reader #bnha x m!reader #bnha smut #bnha x male reader #bnha x male reader smut #boku no hero academia #boku no hero x reader #boku no hero x reader smut #boku no hero smut #boku no hero x male reader smut #boku no hero x m!reader #denki kaminari #denki x reader #denki x reader smut #denki x male reader #denki x male reader smut #denki x m!reader

[fandom-monium]

i finished for the holidays and i just *chefs kiss* beautiful talented amazing sajkgdkj no words i love that romance wasnt even the main point 🥺💘 anyway i love how you write reader and i wondered between her and spencer who gets jealous???

Unrivaled

Summary: In which you seem pretty close with the new intern, and Spencer is not happy about it. (ft. one of my fave white bois) “Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

WC: 3.6k

Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fluff, cussing, Jealous!Spencer bc id like to see that, established relationships (blegh), Garvez if you squint, the lightest implication of smut ever, points to yall who can guess who the intern is before reading the end or the tags 😉

—

Spencer is not jealous. He’s not.

Why would he be? 

He has no reason to be jealous, Spencer chants to himself as he sits at his desk. Even from across the bullpen he still manages to hear your voice, and while normally it’s music to his ears, even better than Mozart, now it just feels like nails against a chalkboard. Grating his eardrums, making him wince.

Because you’re laughing. Not with Spencer though. Not at his obscure references or lame jokes.

With the new intern.

Why did Emily have to put you in charge of him? She could’ve chosen anyone on the team to have him shadow, but it had to be you! Not that you’re incapable or unqualified; you’re experienced, talented, and the best person he knows. 

… Okay, he can see why she picked you.

Why do they even have interns? Unnecessary, really, when the BAU has you and him and he guesses the other teams too (it’s weird, he’s never actually interacted with them but whatever). Maybe it’s time to start making budget cuts. He’ll discuss this with Emily when he gets the chance. He’s got some influence, working at the BAU as long as he has.

But he’s not jealous. 

Logically, jealousy (like an intern) is unnecessary. The green-eyed monster (like an intern) is ugly and contributes nothing productive, and if Spencer’s being honest, the world (like an intern) would be much better off without it.

At least that’s what he keeps telling himself as he downs his coffee like a shot of whiskey, trying to quell the squirming beast in him. Despite 90% of it being sugar, it still tastes bitter. He sets his mug down with a thud, and it’s loud enough to make Luke, Garcia, and JJ turn their heads, exchanging concerned glances when he slumps back in his chair.

Spencer doesn’t care. The world’s ending; you’re apparently into younger guys, with neat dark hair and forearms that can probably snap someone’s neck, and he can’t do anything about it. What does it matter if his best friends catch him in a sour mood, right?

“Hey, Spence,” JJ's tone is soft as they slink over, Garcia and Luke leaning against the edge of his desk and JJ flanking the other side. “You alright?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Spencer gazes past them, his eyes never leaving you. He deflates; your stance is relaxed, completely open as you nod at whatever Intern is saying, his hands gesturing spastically. It must be interesting, the way you listen with rapt attention and respond just as enthusiastic.

Spencer scoffs. Not like that’s anything special. You do the same for him. And the rest of the team.

...What the hell are you guys talking about? 

“Well, you look like you’re about to throw your mug across the room. Or at an intern.”

Spencer blinks, finally breaking away from you long enough to eye the ceramic octopus. “That’s a good idea actually.”

“Don’t,” Garcia and JJ both shoot him a warning and he huffs, resting his chin in his hand. Garcia looks horrified, betrayed even while JJ has that expression on, the one she gives when she scolds Henry and Michael.

Whatever. It’s not like he’d ever sacrifice Mildred. Garcia entrusted her to him, after all. 

Unless...?

No, he couldn’t… Maybe.

“You know, Reid, if you’re jealous—”

Spencer snaps his head to Garcia, eyes wide and darting to you like you have super-hearing, “Jealous? Who’s jealous? Not me.” He cringes, his voice octaves higher and cracking like a prepubescent boy.

Garcia snorts, “Okay, sure. But if you are jealous, I was going to say you have no reason to be. You wanna know why?” Spencer raises an eyebrow at her and she continues, “Sure the guy’s smart enough to get a full-ride scholarship at GWU, and he’s top of his class at the academy—”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

"And he’s one of the most good looking guys I've ever met—”

"How is that relevant—"

Luke frowns at her. "And have you met me?"

“My point is,” Garcia’s red lipstick curls into the most reassuring smile, “that you have nothing to worry about because (Your Name) loves you. A lot.” 

Spencer perks up. “You really think so?”

“I know so. I see the way they look at you, and if that’s not love I don’t know what is," She shrugs, "And just because they’re talking doesn’t mean they’re into him.”

There's a collective nod of agreement and Spencer sags in relief. Of course they're right. He knows they are. 

If you think about it, technically, he's got the advantage. You've known each other longer, bonded and shared experiences together good and bad, and you’re emotionally and even physically intimate with each other (something he's especially proud of, considering how long it takes you both to warm up to others).

And who knows? This is probably temporary! Whatever this is, the connection you seem to instantly make with Intern (faster than when you two had met, he realizes with a needle to his heart) is short-term at best. It'll peter out eventually, like most friendships do.

It’s sad, but a cruel fact of life.

(Is this selfish, wishful thinking? Nah.)

They’re right, there is no need to worry, Spencer thinks as a weight lifts off his chest, finally able to breathe. You love him and he loves you and eventually, everything will go back to normal. 

There’s nothing to worry about.

—

The world’s ending.

“It’s really not.”

Yes, it is.

“Doc, come on.”

“Do not ‘Doc’ me,” Spencer grumbles, lifting his head from the comfort of his arms. He grimaces at Luke. “You didn’t see the way they looked at him. The way they talk about him.”

Two weeks. It’s been two weeks since you’ve taken Intern under your wing, and he’s had enough. If Hell is real, this is it. For days, he’s tried to resume some form of normalcy, and he was never one to be bold but desperate times call for desperate measures as he asks you out for lunch or invites you out on dates, even stuff he wouldn’t normally do because they’re more your thing. Something, anything to get you away from Intern. But...

At work: “Hey Spence, I'm teaching Intern (menial task that a 4 year old could do). Would you like to help—”

During break: “I’m taking Intern out for lunch. He’s still new to town, and I thought he could use a tour—”

In bed: “Did you know Intern’s a huge fan of Star Wars—”

Snap, and there went his patience.

Intern this, Intern that. 

Spencer could tolerate this at work. At least he’s saving lives, being productive, getting paid. But under his roof? In his bed? 

That was the last straw.

Spencer's not one to wish ill on another, he's not like that. But if something happened to the guy, say, get injured in the field, perhaps from a "stray" bullet, he'd be intern-ally grateful. Heh. 

"Hey, you good?"

Spencer sighs, swiping a hand over his face and turning back to Luke. "Yeah, why?"

Luke waves a hand at his face, eyebrow raised, "For a second there, you kind of had a scary look on your face."

"Did I? Weird."

"Right," Clearly unconvinced, Luke brushes it off, deciding to get to the root of the matter. "As I was saying, I still think you have nothing to worry about. Although, I do think it's a little weird that (Your Name) is talking about Intern as much as you say they are." He offers Spencer a little smile, his hand falling heavy on his shoulder. It's the most comforting touch he's had in two weeks. "I'm not one to talk, but I suggest you speak to them. I'd also be uncomfortable if my partner were talking up someone else."

Spencer blinks, squints at Luke, before gripping his hand and standing up. "Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

"You can stand to mention it more often," Luke shrugs, eyes crinkling with amusement as Spencer lets go and heads for the door. 

"Noted."

—

Spencer nearly goes feral when he finds you.

Of course you're with him.

He searched the floor like a bloodhound, discovering you've been on your feet almost the entire day, running around the office, up and down the elevators, finishing your work and helping around. You must be exhausted. It's because of this he tracks you to your favorite break room, mostly quiet save for the buzzing drip of the old coffeemaker. He knows you need to be alone sometimes, recharge those social batteries.

So when he bursts into the room like he would hunting an unsub, eyes quickly scanning the immediate space, he expects nothing less but you. What he did not anticipate was to find you, just as soft and pretty as ever under the fluorescent lighting, leaning against the counter and sipping daintily at your favorite mug. 

With Intern standing a little too close to his liking.

“Hey, Spencer,” You chirp as you lower your coffee mug, lips glossy from your drink. Spencer's quick to shake his stupor―he can’t afford to be distracted, but it’s difficult when you’re beaming at him, clearly excited. You nod at the home-wrecker, “Me and Intern here were just talking about demonology and he’s got this interesting theory on werewolves―" Lycanthropy? Are you fucking kidding him right now? 

Just when he thought he couldn't hate the guy any more.

"CanItalktoyou?" It comes out rushed as Spencer gasps between breaths, leaving no room to second guess himself.

"Sure," You blink at his urgent tone.

For a second, you watch him expectantly, and Spencer's gaze darts between you and Intern. "Alone?"

"Oh! Okay. Be gone," You wave Intern off, and when you place a hand on his shoulder, Spencer sees red. Or green in this case.

Intern doesn't resist, but the noise Spencer releases is animalistic because the guy can’t seem to read the room, questioning you as you gently shove him towards the door. "What about the thing―"

"We'll talk about that later."

"But you still need to show me how to―"

"Don't worry, Intern. Just wait for me, I'll show you once the adults are done talking."

"You know at some point you're gonna have to call me by my name." 

"Nah. If we get to call Luke a newbie, we get to call you Intern. Also I do not know how to say your first name."

 "You could just call me St―"

Enough of this. Spencer closes the last stretch of distance, batting your hand away from Intern’s shoulders as he kicks him out himself, slamming the door in his face. Spencer turns on his heel to face you, caging you both. “You―” He pants, chest heaving for air.

“Me?”

“You-him-we―”

You’re unfazed, simply nodding at him and his odd behavior. If anything, you’re enjoying this as your lips twitch in a poor attempt to withhold your amusement, trying to cover it with a slurp of your cup. Then again, it’s not everyday you get to see Spencer, face flushed from exertion, speechless as he gasps for breath.

(At least not at work… In the break room specifically.)

It takes a minute as Spencer swallows a few times, but his heart’s erratic and it’s not just from running through the entire building. When he’s got enough air, he blurts out, “Did I do something?”

Your brow shoots up. “What?”

“Did I forget something important? Upset you in some way?”

“No? I don’t think so?” You frown at him, your answers more like questions. 

It only spurs him on, and though his tone is frantic and his eyes just as wild as his hair, you’re more intrigued than frightened. Definitely confused.

“Okay, but you know I love you, right?”

“Yes and I love you too but Spence, what’s this about?" Setting down your mug, you look at him like he's grown another head.

Spencer sighs, "I just… you…" He frowns, glancing between you, the floor, and the empty space between you. 

Spencer Reid is a man of words. Many, many words, according to all his friends and his coworkers. Mainly knowledge―he's never been great with feelings―but as you gaze at him, patiently waiting for him to gather his thoughts, he wants to melt into the floor. There's not a hint of annoyance on your features, your eyes warm and inviting. 

He's so in love with you.

Then like scripture the words come, natural without much stuttering or hesitancy. He recounts the last two weeks. The internship so far, the times you've left Spencer behind for him, the times you just talked about him, like the guy (practically a stranger) is your new best friend. Usually, pretty people make him tongue-tied and you do―god, you do―but at the same time only you make it so easy. Talking, expressing without fear of―

"Pfft―"

―Judgement. Pausing mid-sentence, Spencer gawks as your nose twitches and your blink rate increases. You purse your lips, a hand slapped over your mouth as it threatens to break out into a grin.

"Are you-are you laughing right now?" When he just poured his feelings out to you? 

That does it. You keel over, peels of laughter coming like a tsunami, crashing into him and Spencer loves your laugh but not when it's at him. 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing," you wheeze, gripping your stomach. Spencer pouts. There's even tears in your eyes. "But you're telling me this is all because you're jealous?"

He stutters, "Well-I-no-It’s just…" He wants to say ‘you're mine’, but as your eyes crinkle he knows there’s no need.

"That's kinda hot."

"Wha-really?" Wide-eyed, Spencer squeaks as you step closer to him, backing him into the door. His hands come up to his chest in a kitten-like manner yet at the same time protective―you'd never hurt him and you both know that―but you admit your initial reaction was poor when he laid his feelings bare. 

“Ahhhh Babe, you know there’s no one else for me but you.” Spencer blushes and you chuckle, taking his hands in yours. He let's you. “Also, as adorable as Intern is, one, I think I’d be able to tell if he was hitting on me, and two, he’s not really my type.”

Spencer swallows, “And what exactly is your type?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” Looking him up and down, you step closer, enough that your breath puffs against his chin. You smell like cheap coffee. “Tall, handsome doctors with messy, brown hair―” You lightly tug at one of his stray curls and he bites back a smile. 

“―and a cute nose―” Your hand moves to cup his cheek, bringing him down to peck the tip of his nose. It scrunches as Spencer breaks out into giggles. 

“―Who can recite classic literature. Who can bake like he belongs on The Great British Baking Show but can’t cook for shi―”

“Okay! Thank you, I get it,” Spencer says, almost completely relaxed now.

“Good,” You nod with finality. “And for your information, I wasn’t trying to make you jealous."

He raises an eyebrow. "So you just abandoned me and talked about another guy for the hell of it?"

Spencer's tone is casual, joking even but you know better. There's underlying bitterness and hurt and your heart squeezes because you did that. "No, of course not. There is a reason behind all that.“

“What could possibly excuse you going above and beyond your job as a mentor―”

“I was trying to set you guys up.”

Spencer deadpans. “Set me up? With him?” Oh god, he knows you’re weird, but he’s never considered you to be outright insane (is it weird he still loves you?).

As if reading his thoughts, you roll your eyes, “Spencer, how many friends do you have outside the team?”

“Not a lot.” No hesitation, but he accepted the fact a long time ago. 

“Yeah and that’s okay. But if you’d talk to Intern, you’ll find you two have a lot in common. I know he’s younger than us, but he’s a good kid, real smart,” You give him a meaningful look and shrug, “Not like IQ 187 smart but he could definitely hold a conversation with you.”

Spencer murmurs, pulling you in so you're chest to chest, “This entire time, you were really trying to make us friends?”

You nod, your expression a mix of giddiness and hope that makes whatever feelings he felt before, the confusion and―yes, fine―the jealousy, dissolve like sugar in water. Spencer sinks into you, burying his face into the crook of your neck and inhaling your soap. Of course you had good intentions. Of course you wanted to do something nice for him.

Fuck, he loves you.

“So… we good?”

Spencer huffs, “I hope you realize how much I suffered the past few weeks.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Then yes, we’re good,” He mumbles into your shoulder, “I appreciate what you were trying to do.”

“And?”

His brow furrows and he pulls back, meeting your eyes. “And what?”

“Will you try to be friends?” You look at him expectantly.

Spencer opens his mouth to answer, a definitive no on his tongue, but then you’re giving him puppy-dog eyes and before he realizes it, “Okay.”

Wait, no. That is not what he meant to say.

“Yeah!” You throw your arms around him, and Spencer can’t stop you, grunting as you basically swing him around like a rag doll. But he finds he doesn’t care when you set him back down because you’re happy, happy for him, grinning ear to ear as you babble, “I can already tell you two are gonna be the best of friends! You guys have so much to talk about, all that nerdy stuff. Maybe even debate! And we could play chess and―”

There’s a knock and you both turn, a voice muffled by the door, “Hey, guys? I don’t want to interrupt in case you’re boning, but you didn’t exactly tell me where to wait for you? God, I hope you guys aren’t boning. Please tell me you’re not boning right now.”

You groan, “No Intern, we’re not boning! Right-uh-go ahead and meet me back at the office, I’ll be right with you.” You turn back to Spencer, sending him an apologetic look. “I will see you later, okay? And since you’ve been such a patient and understanding partner,” You plant him one last kiss before patting his cheek, and his eyes widen as your voice lowers in the way you know drives him crazy, your eyes glinting with mischief, “I’ll make it up to once we get home. Bye, love you!”

Before Spencer can fully register your words, you're out the door, cackling as you leave him to compose himself, his face beet red from running the possibilities. By the time he emerges from the break room, you’re long gone.

“Hi, Dr. Reid?”

Spencer almost snarls, cursing under his breath. Just when he thought the day was getting better. He turns back. 

Intern stands tall, relaxed and shoulders back, black tie loose and cheap white-collar button up slightly wrinkled. No doubt from working hard and following your instructions throughout the day. Spencer respects the work ethic at least. Meanwhile, the younger man eyes him, and he’s certain it’s not from intimidation but with curiosity.

Spencer doesn’t linger on that. He’s used to it, not being intimidating to others.

He continues, “It’s nice to finally talk to you, one on one I mean. I’m a fan of your work. Seven degrees, huh?”

“Yeah,” Spencer says curtly. Recalling the earlier conversation with you, he stamps down his irritation and tries to extend an olive branch. “How did you know?”

“It’s the internet, sir,” Intern raises an eyebrow, offering an innocent smile. 

“Right,” Spencer returns it with an awkward one of his own, “Hey, sorry for... literally kicking you out before. That was completely unprofessional.”

Intern waves him off, “No, it’s cool. I totally get it. I’m flattered, by the way.”

Spencer frowns. “Flattered?”

“Well, it’s not everyday you find out your superior’s jealous of you.”

Spencer blinks, and it takes all his experience as a profiler to mask his embarrassment. “You heard that.”

“The FBI’s got thin walls,” Intern shrugs and steps towards him. “Although I have to say, Agent (Your Last Name) is wrong about one thing.” Stopping short in front of him, for the first time Spencer is close enough to note the moles dotting his face. “They can’t tell that I’m flirting with them.” 

He starts down the hall after you, and Spencer’s eyes trail after him as his brow furrows, until realization slams into him and his jaw drops. “Wait, you...”

“Oh and since (Your Last Name) wants us to be friends, I think we could be on a first-name basis,” He pauses to look back at Spencer, watching with a crooked smile as the older man sputters. 

“So, you can call me Stiles, sir.”

Then once again, Spencer is left behind, frozen in the hallway as he processes what just happened.

And the next time he finds you and Special Agent Stilinski in the same room, whether it’s crowded or not, Spencer does not hesitate to cling to your side, putting as much distance between the intern and you as he can. Spencer’s grateful you don’t question it.

There may not be anyone else for you, but that doesn’t mean no one will try.

―

AN: ahhhhh thanks anon!! There was a similar request then i saw this tiktok (and listened to this tiktok the entire time) and i combined them. Id also like to emphasize that my version of reader is neutral across the board, race, gender, etc.

Yes, i have a type. No, i will not be taking criticism. 

Been hella overwhelmed with classes and work so here’s my way of destressing. Also suggest checking those tiktoks if you wanna understand me :))) also you mean to tell me i have to write the threesome myself?? Bs tbh 😔

watched 15x4 and i was so sad when Spencer addressed Luke as his coworker like no bitch hes your new bro stfu

and i have no doubt that stiles and spencer would be one of the best crossover duos given the chance 

#spencer reid x reader #mgg x reader #matthew gray gubler x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x y/n #mgg fanfiction #mgg imagine #mgg x y/n #matthew gray gubler x oc #matthew gray gubler imagine #mgg fic #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x oc #criminal minds x reader #stiles stilinksi x reader

[anythingforspence]

the capstone - chapter one

Summary: Reader is a semester away from getting her masters in Psychology and duringher last semester she has to complete her capstone, or passion project if you will. This year, the professors decided that each student will be personally mentored by a psycologyst in distinct fields. When Y/N meets hers, she can’t decide whether she is lucky or if it will be a long 5 months.

Pairing: Female reader x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 1.8 k

Chapter warning: harsh language, sexy talk, no smut yet

A/N: omg tysm for all of the love on the teaser post. i hope i dont dissapoint.

Although I’m wide awake, I let my alarm clock keep beeping and beeping and beeping as I stare up at the white ceiling of my cheap studio apartment. My neighbor woke me up bright and early this morning by doing what sounded like lugging a dead body throughout his apartment. I lifted my head slightly just to slam it back against my bed, whining about being awake at 5:30 am. I’m probably just nervous. I have to complete this passion project for my psychology class by being mentored by a famous psychologist and write a paper about their career and their wisdom I guess. I have a meeting with my mentor today and I don’t know what to expect. My professor kept the identity of our mentors a secret. For the “excitement” and whatnot.

With a sigh, I swing my legs over the side of my bed and bend over to switch off the alarm. Resting my elbows on my knees, I run my hands down my face, basically prepping myself for the fact that I have to stand up soon. The moment I stand, I stretch all throughout my body, ending with my hands high above my head, stretching into the ceiling. My mouth getting ready to yawn when a bang was heard next door, like a book being chucked against the wall ajoined with my neighbors apartment causing me to yelp. I’m pretty sure I heard a chuckle in response to my scream. I glared at the wall, thinking of all the ways I could storm in there and punch my neighbor. I had two choices. I could storm in there and do all the things I wish I could do, or I could mind my business and get ready for the day.

Rolling my eyes I decided to just get ready. I still wanted payback, however, I blasted Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now by The Smiths as I head into the showe. I grab brown trousers, a white button up, and a sage green set of lace undergarments. Not that anyone would see them, unfortunately there has been a drought of sorts in my pants. I just wear them for the aesthetic. Getting undressed, I put on my favorite playlist with all of the songs that make me feel like I’m the main character in an indie film. I heard a light tapping at my door, like some wanted my attention but at the same time wished I never paid attention to them. I decided to ignore it and step under the stream of water in my shower.

Once I was all finished with my shower, I stepped out into my foggy bathroom. Singing along to Bug Collector by Haley Heynderickx, I start drying off and slip on my outfit for the day. I keep my hair in a towel to help it dry some so I don’t have to use any heat on my hair. For my makeup I decided to go for a red lip, neutral blush, mascara, and brows today. Something simple and professional. I let my hair out of the towel and brush it out, not doing too much to it. Blowing myself a kiss in the mirror, I grab my purse and wrap my student ID around my neck, letting it fall next to the golden flower chained to my neck.When I open the door, I laugh in shock at the note my neighbor left for me.“nice taste in music”

I felt something against my leg and knew exactly who it was. “Hi, Payton,” I sweetly spoke to the Sphynx cat at my feet. I named her Payton even though she’s not technically mine and just wanders through the apartment complex. I bend down to give her scratches at her neck. “How’s my cutie patootie. Did you see the asshole who left this not?” She just tilted her head more into my hand, telling me to keep on scratching. “Guess not.” I stand back up and check the time on my watch, “Shit”. I had five minutes to get there.

-----

A bell rang as I entered the coffee shop I was supposed to meet my mentor at, of course with my favorite mask on. My eyes scan the place a little before I walk up to the counter to order my favorite drink. “Hi can I just get a 16 ounce Earl Grey, please?” The barista said something along the lines of yes of course and how my total was 2.16. “Alrighty, thank you.” It didn’t take too long for it to be done. They weren’t very busy and it’s just a tea bag and hot water.

“Excuse me, are you Y/F/N Y/L/N?” 

Woah. His voice sent a tingle down my spine. Probably just because I haven’t had much human contact or the fact that I haven’t been laid in a while but, my god, what I would give for him to say my name again. But that was nothing compared to what I saw when I turned around. I’m just glad I was wearing a mask so he didn’t the way my lips parted when my eyes met his. He had curly brown hair and he dressed like an old man, doesn’t sound like much but for me, that’s everything. Oh my gosh, and he had nerdy little cute glasses? When I realized I was staring I averted my eyes and started blushing.

“Um, yes, hi, that’s my name. I’m so sorry, but what’s your name?” The tremor in my voice made me want to just drop dead. I’m a woman of science but if the Earth knew how to open up and swallow people, now would be the time to prove it.

“Oh hi. I’m Doctor Spencer Reid. I’m your psychology mentor. Did your professor not tell you?” He seemed so confused, oh my god he’s so cute.

“Oh. Oh my God I’m so sorry! My professor didn’t let us know who was mentoring us, just in case we did prior research or something. I’m sorry. But yes um I’m Y/N. It’s very nice to meet you, sir,” I kept on rambling, looking anywhere but his eyes. Unfortunately, it made me look like I was checking him out. Oh fuck.

Chuckling a bit, he goes, “Oh no your fine. No need to apalogize. It’s a pleasure to meet you miss Y/N.” Not going to lie, the way he said my name sent tingles to my pussy. Oh my god what is wrong with me! I can’t be thinking these things about the person who is going to mentor me! Stop being so horny.

I started to blush and I cleared my throat and gestured towards the window. “Um, should we go sit out there?”

“Oh yes of course. Please after you,” he said, his hand finding the small of my back, hitching my breath and making me nervously mess with the rings on my fingers. We sat at the iron tables outside of the coffee shop, he pulled my chair open for me, finally his hands off of me. I felt like I could breathe again but at the same time I felt sad, empty. He took off his mask to take a sip of what he was drinking and holy shit. He had some scruff and his lips just looked so inviting. I wanted to distract from the silence that was biting at me. “So, uh, what do you do?” My voice trailing off, making everything so much heavier with awkwardness and the sexual tension that was just coming from me.

“What do you mean what do I do?” Fuck. I looked so stupid of course he does something in pschology. That’s the whole reason you’re here.

“W-well, um, like what specific area do you work in?”

“I do criminal profiling with the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI.” My eyebrows bunch together in confusion. What does that have to do with psychology? Almost as if he’s reading my mind he continues, “We psycho analyze crime scenes, victims, bodies to understand why a criminal would do what they did, which helps us to understand the type of person they are, their background, and it leads us to the criminal, or unsub.”

“Wow that’s actually really cool. But, like, how does that all work?”

“Tell me, Y/N, when was the last time you had sex?” I didn’t say anything. I was so shocked. First off, how inappropriate, but also how did he know? “When I first walked in, you kept on looking me up and down as if you’ve never seen a man before. You keep fidgeting with your rings. Usually new jewelry makes people fidget but the stains on your fingers suggest you wear rings frequently which means you're nervous. Also ever since I’ve taken my mask offyou haven’t stopped staring at my lips. So, sweet girl, tell me when was the last time you were satisfied?”

I just sat there, gapping at him like a fish out of water. What was I supposed to say? Why thank you for asking, although the last time I’ve had sex was a year ago but the last time I’ve orgasmed has been longer? Before I could come up with an answer he got a phone call. Someone named Morgan needed him or something. Whatever it was, it seemed urgent.“Sorry our meeting got cut short, Y/N. Very important FBI business came up. Here is my card, has my name, email and phone number. I recommend calling me because I don’t usually check my emails or my texts. Your professor already gave me your contact information so I know how to find you. I am very excited for the upcoming months.”

“Oh- uh, thank you,” I whispered, still shocked. He grabs my hand so that he can hand me my card since I haven’t moved a muscle. 

“Oh and Y/N?” My head wips up at him and I let out a “hmm?” that could be mistaken for a moan. “Green is a nice color on you.” Confused, I looked down to see my button up shirt had popped open, letting my green covered tits be seen by the world. Eyes blown open, I immediately cover myself and say a thank you that sounded so embarrassing because my voice cracked. He just chucked and told me he would contact me soon. Before he left, I could’ve sworn he looked at me as if I was a sexy hollywood actress or something. But I brushed it off. Maybe he was concerned for me. After all, I had my tits out and made it obvious that I was desperately horny. God these five months will be awful if I keep thinking about Dr. Reid as a sex partner than a mentor. Then again the concept of having sex with your mentor can be hot. Nope. No. I should stop there.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #dom!spencer #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut

[yvaineseleneposts]

The Troubadour

Requested: no

A/N: This has to be my longest piece ever! I hope it was worth the wait and that you enjoyed it. There could be a few mistakes in there both in English and Italian, sorry in advance. I loved writing this, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted but I am a perfectionist and I have rewritten this about 5 times. I just needed to post it now!

Pairing: OC!Diana Bianchi & Damiano David

Words: 3k

Warning(s): swearing, drinking, smoking (I mean it’s the 70s…), smoking weed, my Italian (I have been studying this beautiful language for three years now but people make mistakes)

West Hollywood, California // Mid-January 1972

Red eyes.

Sweaty foreheads.

That is all Diana would see when they screamed at her. “CAN I GET TWO BEERS AND A COKE PLEASE?!”

Working behind the bar was not her dream job. Diana remembered it like it was yesterday, she and her friend Tami had gone to The Troubadour to celebrate the weekend when she saw a “help wanted” poster. It was a godsend. Diana applied there and then and not long after she found herself behind the bar, handing out drinks to people who looked like they were having the best time of their lives. Another plus side was the fact that she could attend the concerts of all the artists and bands for free.

Obviously, there were also downsides to this job. For example, Diana couldn’t go out and live her teenage years. She isn’t allowed to drink (too much) on the job and the hours aren’t exactly great. The pay is okay though and the tips are even better. Half of the people don’t even know how much they are giving and walk off like they didn’t just hand you 20 for an eight dollar drink. She doesn’t complain much about her job but she does feel left behind sometimes. Like when Tami or her other friend chat about some weird adventure they had the night before and who they met or kissed. Diana felt like she missed out on a lot of things but she had no other choice.

Her parents had kicked her out when she was 15. Diana moved in with her grandmother and lived with her for a while until she passed away. She has been living alone in her grandmother’s old apartment ever since. A few friends had moved in with her but then moved out again when they had found a better place to live. So it was just Diana paying the rent for the place.

 “CAN I GET A RUM AND COKE?!” Diana gets snapped out of her thoughts. Shit, what did he want?! She thinks to herself as she stares at the intoxicated man.  “SORRY?!” She shouts back over the loud music. At least she had another reason for not hearing the man.  “RUM AND COKE!” That is all the man yells before turning his band to her so he could face the stage. Some weird indie band is playing tonight. Diana wasn’t really into it and honestly couldn’t wait until her boss would send her home for the night. She puts in a little less rum, the man will probably not even taste the difference.

The band had stopped playing somewhere around two a.m. However not all the guests had left around 2.30 which is something Diana hated the most. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy her job but after so many hours standing on her feet, she wanted nothing more than to clean up, go home and get into her warm bed.

 “Diana, can you come here for a minute?” her boss asked. What was that tone, was he going to fire her?! “It’s nothing bad, don’t worry.” Pfew. Diana walked behind him into his office.

 “What can I help you with, Doug?” She asked as she sat down in the very comfortable chair across from him. Doug Weston had somewhat become her parent over the last few years that she had worked here. He was always so kind to her and could always ask him for help if she needed him.

 “I want to get more bands from across the sea. I want interesting people and not just the same bands playing over and over again. New talent that no one has heard of before but will become known because of this place. Inspire new talent, you know?” He was rambling on with his sales pitch as if you had any input, it was his place after all. “And seeing that you can speak more languages than I have ever could, I was wondering if you could write small pieces for newspapers in Europe that will inspire these artists to come here and get all the fame and fortune they want.”

 “Sure, Doug. You know I would do anything to help this place… and you of course”, Diana said while a wide grin spread on her face. She felt like she was moving up when in reality it wasn’t a new job position. She would do anything to not have the same indie bands playing almost every night. Diana would never have imagined that she would change the lives of four individuals barely six months later, and change her own life along with it.

Rome, Italy // Mid-March 1972

 “The Troubadour. The place where artists and bands from all over the world can make it or break it in the United States. It all depends on the crowd. If they love you, you can come back for an entire week! If not you will receive the money for that evening but sadly you won’t be allowed back. It’s always packed with record executives so you could get a sweet record deal out of this experience. Do you have what it takes? Sign up and good luck to everyone competing in the battle of the bands! – D. B.” Damiano finishes reading. “Ragazzi, I honestly cannot wait till we get to play there! It’s going to be veramente stupendo!”

 “Bene Damiano, calm yourself. It’s less than five months away. We still have to play in this dump to even afford to go. We barely have enough money for a motel, we don’t even have the plane tickets yet!” Classic Victoria, always worrying as if she is the mother of the group.  “Calmati Victoria, noi staremo bene”, Ethan jumps in. “Let’s get back to practising before we start another fight, sì?” The rest nods their head and pick up their instruments.  “I was thinking, should we start with I wanna be your slave oppuro no? Is it too much?” Damiano suggest.  “Oh, and for outfits, I have a few ideas?!” Thomas adds like a little kid who is excited for Christmas day.  “Positivo, let’s look at those after practice”, Damiano says. Not even ten minutes later they had many up a little setlist. It was a battle of the bands so they had to at least practice 4-5 songs to play against other bands. Then if they were allowed to come back they had to prepare yet another 6 songs on top of those 5 they had already played. They could do it, they had enough songs in their database but were they going to sing their Italian songs or did they have to translate them? The members of Måneskin weren’t sure yet. Luckily for them, they had four months to think about it.

West Hollywood, California // Mid-July 1972

Diana hadn’t even woken up yet, but on the other side of the city, Måneskin had arrived at the airport.  “Finalmente ci siamo. Ce l’abbiamo fatta!” Thomas exclaims. Damiano chuckles and throws an arm around Thomas’s shoulders.  “Slow down, loverboy. We have not made it yet. We landed yes, but we have a long way to go from here to that stage tonight.”  “How every grown-up of you, Damiano”, Victoria teases. “I bet with Ethan that you would follow the first American girl that you saw in this airport and that we wouldn’t see you until much later.”  “Ha ha, molto divertente, Victoria. Sei una persona così divertente.” They continue their bickering whilst Ethan collects all of their suitcases.   “Addiamo?” He finally asks the group, they all agree and make their way through the busy airport to the designated taxi area. During this, they complain about how crowded it is and how much the air smells. It is nothing like their own country but you have to take chances if you want to become famous like their dream.

Later that day

Doug had told Diana to come into work later than she usually would. It was going to be a busy night and he’d rather have her work during the performances than during the day and wear her out. So here she was around six-thirty instead of two o’clock. It felt so weird because usually when she arrives there is no line out front and now there was one to the end of the block. She passed all the people waiting in line, hearing them complain and moan as she walks up to Mario, the bouncer. He doesn’t even need to see her worker-id, as she walks in he wishes her good luck with tonight. She liked Mario, he was working here before she came and even then he had told her if she ever needed anything him and his wife had an extra bed for her. Honestly, the sweetest guy… also the toughest guy you will ever meet.

As Diana walked to the changing area to hang her coat and bag, she ran into a few participants of tonight’s show. She greeted most of them but they were too busy with themselves, the fame they hadn’t even earned yet was already rising to their heads. Before she could make her way to the bar, Doug called her over.

 “Diana, come here for a second. I want to introduce you to a few people.” Classic Doug, always introducing everybody to everybody. If he believed you could make it, he would introduce you to all his workers. However, the bands did not know this, the workers would treat them a little extra. “They are from Italy as well!” As if Diana herself had moved for their, it was actually her grandparents. She could speak a little Italian but other than her last name, there was nothing Italian about her. Doug briefly introduced the members of Måneskin to Diana, who couldn’t keep her eyes off a certain member. To be quite honest she had not remembered everyone’s names and she stumbled to get her name out of her mouth. All because she was already head over heels with this handsome, tall, young Italian man.

After a couple of introduction, Diana was finally behind her bar, her safe space. Meeting Damiano had made her weak in her knees, she had never had a reaction like this before. She didn’t really pay attention to the competitors and focused on serving the people but when it was Måneskin’s turn, she started to lose focus on her work.

During most of their setlist, Damiano kept glancing over to Diana and winking at her. Or at least that’s what it felt like for Diana. However, after a rather sexy song (let’s be real most of them are) he kissed one of his male bandmates on the mouth. Now Diana is not one to judge people on who they love. She reasons that everyone should love who they want to love and receive love because of it. It wasn’t that she hated it, it kind of turned her on, but she was very confused. Had she read the signs wrong? Were there even any signs to begin with? At times like these she wanted to ask Tami for help yet she was afraid that if Tami came and tried to help her that somehow Tami’s charm would work on Damiano and Diana would still end up with nothing. No, she had to do this on her own, she decided.

After the battle of the bands was over, a few stayed behind to talk with record labels about future arrangements. Diana started cleaning up, and washing and drying a few glasses, secretly listening in on a few conversations.

 “I liked what I saw out there. Let your agent call me and we will discuss your expansion in the United States.” Well, that sounded very good. Diana turned around to see who the band was that this man was talking to, but when she turned around she looked right into Damiano’s eyes.

 “I have been trying to get your attention all night”, he says shyly.  “Really? I thought so but I wasn’t sure”, Diana responds. Damiano raises his hand and scratches behind his head.  “I was wondering, you know. If maybe- ugh. Perchè è cosi difficile?” He mutters, not looking Diana in the eyes.  “Provalo in Italiano?” she suggests and Damiano’s eyes shoot up to meet hers.  “Cazzo. Parli Italiano?” He looks even more nervous now.  “Si, parlo Italiano.” He laughs at her answer.  “Vuoi uscire domani sera?” Diana nods her head, she honestly cannot stop smiling.  “I’d love to go out with you. Do you want me to pick you up at the hotel? That would be easier than you trying to find my house.”  “Yeah, sure. We’re staying at the Millwood Motel, it’s not too far from the airport.”  “Ah yes, I know that place. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He leans over and kisses her cheek before leaving her to finish her work.

That night Diana barely slept. Did Damiano know any places here to take her to? Did she have to come up with a place? What if he was some weird guy? What if he was a murderer?! She sure was happy now that she didn’t give him her address. The following day she woke up around noon. She went to the kitchen and grabbed her Cona coffee maker, if she was to get through the day, she was going to need a big cup of coffee. She put water and coffee ground on the lower half of the pot and put it on the stove. She hated having to watch the coffee boil and couldn’t wait for better times when you would just have to push a button to get your coffee.

Seeing that she woke up around noon, it didn’t take long before Diana met up with Damiano. She asked him if he had anything specific in mind. Surprisingly, he did. He explained that he and his bandmates did a little sightseeing and they walked past a roller skating rink. Damiano always wanted to try that and he thought this would be perfect for their little date. Diana absolutely loved the idea and couldn’t wait till they got there.

Both of them were sad that the night had ended so quickly or so they thought. It was in fact 1 a.m. and they had already spend ten hours together. Diana brought Damiano back to the motel with her car and of course he couldn’t leave without planting a kiss on her lips. They kissed for a while before finally letting each other go.  “We’ll be leaving soon”, Damiano said and looked at their intertwined hands in his lap.  “Already? You just got here two days ago”, Diana complained. She just met him and now he is leaving already? She wasn’t prepared for that. She knew he was leaving at some point, he had to he didn’t live in the US, but still she had hoped for a little more time together.  “Maybe we’ll come back soon. We have a meeting with our agent and that record label guy tomorrow.”  “Could we meet up after? We should catch dinner together, I have another day off”, she suggested. Damiano agreed, kissed her one more time before leaving her car and making his way to his motel room.

The next day

Diana waited for Damiano in front of a large building. She was enjoying the sun on her face when she felt two arms coming from behind and hugging her on her stomach.  “Ciao, amore mio. Sei adorabile oggi”, Damiano said into her ear before kissing the side of her face.  “Ciao, you don’t look to bad yourself”, she said as she turned around. She grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him on his lips, his mates cheering them on in the background. “How did it go in there?” With that question Damiano’s face broke out in a wide grin. “What?”  “Amore, we’re staying here in the US. We got a record deal, we will be here for the entire year!” he shouts and all five of them jump in celebration. “I was going to tell you at dinner, but I just couldn’t wait anymore. We can be together, amore.” Diana broke out in tears, nodding her head, for she had never met a man who she loved more than Damiano. Her Italian lover boy.

#damiano #damiano david x reader #damiano maneskin #damiano x reader #damiano david #victoria de angelis #victoria #victoria maneskin #victoria de angelis x reader #victoria x reader #ethan #ethan maneskin #ethan torchio #ethan torchio x reader #ethan x reader #thomas #thomas raggi #thomas maneskin #thomas raggi x reader #thomas x reader #maneksin #måneskin #maneskin imagine #blurb #70s!maneskin #70s!måneskin #70s!damiano

[rcl-stan]

would i be friends with the hoo characters irl?

back on my bs babes 😌 happy greenlit series btw 🥳

jason - i dont think id hate him but our personalities would definitely clash a lot, especially when its not in our best interests to be fighting at the moment. but i feel like itd be really fun to exchange style tips (aka i wanna redo his entire wardrobe so bad). we’d probably meet through band or something and then we’d have a couple other classes together, but those other classes are the ones we do the most group projects in and we’re always together which almost never turns out well. he’d probably think he does most of the work and will complain about it constantly but i’d do the same amount plus correcting all his mistakes and making sure it looks nice so smd jason 🤨 hes super kind to everyone tho as a default so that makes up for it a little

piper - yes. 100% we’d be friends. she has great style and a great taste in music. she’s actually close with jason and we redo his wardrobe together. she’s definitely one of those indecisive arts kids that has participated in every arts program in school by graduation and in attempts to not let that make her a pick me she becomes a little bit of a pick me but its okay. surprisingly enough tho shes not very popular even though she radiates that “im popular” energy. its probably bc she comes off as an asshole but she’s actually really nice with an awful rbf and no awareness of tone. we also both have short fuses and we fuck bitches up together. bestie goals

leo - ALSO YES. everything that most people hate about him i absolutely love. he’s exactly my type of person. he’s definitely one of those ambiverted robotics kids or those drummers with the energy of a firecracker. platonically in love with this boy. we’d TOTALLY gaslight our straight/white friends into thinking they’re racist or homophobic at any minor inconvenience they give us. “can you grab my pencil sorry i dropped it right by your foot” “its just out of reach sorry man” “oh what are you racist now?? you hate mexicans or something??” “😟 no pls i-” my favorite pastime. i feel like how we’ve struggled in life would also help with bonding and we’d understand each other and how our brains work well, pretty much just getting that good “i understand you” energy thats hard to get. plus he’s literally so hilarious and he has that dumb sense of humor that makes me tear up even though i know the joke isnt that funny. 4liferz next question

Reyna - oh no. she’s so sweet and i understand she’s been through a lot but there’s no way we’d get along. like honestly i think she’d just bore me. i need a lot of energy and i dont think she really meets that requirement. too focused on getting into an ivy league like bebe chill we’re sophomores its okay. i feel like she’d be one of those people that just get on my nerves for being around. nothing against her, i just get bothered very easily. as i get to know her though it wouldnt be bad. id maybe get her coffee on her birthday and tell her to relax even tho she wouldnt, but she deserves the break shes slaying a little too hard on herself

Rachel - i cant believe i left her out of the last one omg shes in this series a bit tho its okay- i think we’d get along and be good friends, but she’s probably one of those ones i can’t be around too much, like i think id really get her but i also think shed drain me pretty fast iykwim. absolute sweetheart tho. we’d probably meet in tech theatre and we’d probably drive to get food or coffee before practice with either just each other or a smaller group. we’d also talk about astrology all the time and i love her for that

clarisse - another i cant believe i left out shes not even in this one isnt she in college- okay okay UH id be intimidated definitely but like in the i have a crush on you but youd crush me way. i know i absolutely adore her character but i think shed be one of those seniors i hate, like just bc of smaller things she does here and there and since i dont care enough to get closer to her id assume she just sucks. my other friends who know her would totally be like “yall should talk more” and id REFUSE just to spite them after a point, even though i know they’re probably right that we’d get along if i gave her a chance

octavian - imma be real id bully this guy RELENTLESSLY hes got a massive ego and i wouldnt hold back. hed be like this girl i know that i have like four year old beef with OMG i hate that girl and im just now realizing if octavian were a hs student now they’d probably have a similar personality- 😟. a hard pass from me. we’d go at each other for fun but hed always lose. he wouldnt act like it but he would. like yungblud fighting the gender norms and losing pathetically. like what is he wearing. anyways

hazel - oh no. shed be one of those freshmen with a lot of audacity. even though shes absolutely wise beyond her years that doesnt mean she gets to act like an upperclassman like freshmen are freshmen, but maybe its the lack of understanding for social status. like id be nice to her but she’d bother me so much. id maybe miss her when i graduate tho

frank - like reyna, too chill. he has a short fuse for me and my kind of people tho so we’d probably fight all the time anyways. straight As, spelling bee, studco, gov extracurriculars, that dude is my worst nightmare. i have some friends like that but the thing is they have a personality. frank lacks in that area. stop focusing on which university of california you wanna go to and worry about yourself. not yourself as in academics, i mean yourself king ☹️

[kinsurou]

Forgive me Lord, for I am sinning

Pairings: Dabi (Touya) x Reader

Word count: 5.4K

Warnings: Smut (18+), Incubus!Dabi, Swearing, Dirty talking, Alcohol, Oral sex, Unprotected sex, Hair pulling, Slight mentions of breeding, Dabi being a little shit, Slight comedy.

Part 2 of the Incubus!AU. This one's a bit different from the first part. Special thanks to @dragonhrte for beta reading this monstrosity for me, and my friends @hawks-senseis @shoutogepi @honeytama @gr0vndz3ro @wakaoujisenhime @sailor-manga for listening to my non-stop ramblings as I worked on this piece! ❤

If somebody had said that after visiting your stranded family, you would end up coming back home bonded to a demon after getting laid inside the same church that brought nightmares upon you for years. You would have laughed at them before asking them to hand over some of whatever it was they may have drank.

But now, as an all too familiar weight drapes over your body, emitting such heat, that it covers your body with a thin layer of sweat despite the intensity of the air conditioner. Followed by a pair of warm lips slowly kissing the back of your neck, as they descend all the way to your lower back. Lastly, the pair of hands squeezing their way in between the mattress and your front to play with the soft mounds in your chest. 

It all makes you think twice about everything you once believed to be nothing but myths and bedtime stories a parent would tell their child so they would behave.

An eyebrow twitched in annoyance as those hands pinched your nipples teasingly, tracing a small pair of piercings adorning the erect nubs. But you made no effort to move from your position in bed, trying to get as much sleep as possible before the start of the day.

“...What do you think you’re doing?” But your tired, sleepy voice was simply ignored, and the owner of those hands leaned down to purr softly over your ear as they started biting the lobe softly.

“Well...I firmly believe there’s no better way to start the day than with some nice morning sex.” Sharp fangs nibbled gently over your neck, right over the spot where a burgundy mark branded the sensitive skin. ”C’mon little one, I’ll be quick.” 

Taking a deep, tired breath, a hand reached out for a small spritzer on the bedside table. Without even bothering to open your eyes, you quickly proceeded to spray the creature looming above your previously sleeping self, who by the way, started hissing painfully by the moisture damping his face.

“What the fuck is that?!” This time, you actually rose half-way from bed to glare at the demon rubbing his smoking face as if his life depended on it. Teal eyes were dangerously lowered into a glare, but honestly? After spending nearly two months stuck with Dabi, he didn’t scare you one bit anymore.

The demon that took you under the eyes of God and the little shit in front of your bed are two completely different individuals by this point. Now, every single day was spent being followed around the apartment by a horny demon trying to either seduce you or feel you up in order to satiate his hunger. Of course, it always backfired on him.

“Holy water.” The spritzer was pointed at him yet again, and he flinched back slightly, glaring at the plastic bottle with nothing but disgust “When I said I was mad at you, It was serious! Why are you still here anyway? Didn’t you get your own place next door?” 

“Not really, just used my hypnosis on the old lady to get in.” He shrugged “If it makes you feel any better, I gave her back the keys some time ago. Told her I found them laying around.” He followed with a sly grin, that somehow riled you up even further “By the way, she thinks I’m your boyfriend.”

He got spritzed again, Much to his chagrin.

………

“So, ‘Touya’...” At the mention of his “name”, Touya looked up from his spot on the couch, frowning slightly after what happened that morning. Those little tantrums of the devil’s spawn usually lasted a few hours before he was back to his casual, lazy, and annoying self. “How did you become trapped in the church in the first place?” 

“Why? Want to send me back? Sorry doll, but there’s no way I’m going back.” He got up from his seat and slowly approached while you were busy having some food. Coming up from behind, his face came from one side to give an alluring kiss to your jaw. “Especially now, that I have such a nice, little vessel all for myself.”

Even though you kept ignoring his approaches, those small shivers that went through your body with his every touch, were more than enough to nourish him for a while. But it’d be a lie if he said he wasn’t expecting a full meal like the one from that night. 

“And what’s with this ‘vessel’ shit? Why me? There were plenty of girls back home, so why did you pick someone like….me of all people?” You jerked away from him, much to the demon’s disappointment, and picked up the empty dish, getting up from the chair to let it sink into the soapy water from the sink before turning to look at him with a frown.

“It’s just like I said before.” He twirled a lock of your hair between his fingers. “There’s something different about you. Besides, all of them are just like those instant meals you like, full of artificial shit. Like that cousin of yours, what’s their name again…? Meh, doesn’t matter, you know who I’m talking about, don’t you?”

You rolled your eyes and huffed knowingly, fully aware of who he was talking about. The family’s golden child. The one who’s never disappointed the family and is their little star. But behind closed doors? They were probably worse than you.

“But you’re different, want to know why?” He got so close, that you could feel the heat of his body through his clothes. His face was so close as well, and it was strange looking at him without all those stitches and scars. Now that you think about it, it’s been a while since he stopped using this “Glamour”. 

“Because you’re not someone who’s afraid of speaking your mind, so what if you’re not their golden child? You’ve always stayed true to yourself.” A hand made its way inside your shirt, claws roaming seductively all over your back. You couldn’t help closing your eyes and gasp quietly as ‘Touya’s hand kept grazing your body with that burning, lust-filled touch.

But as soon as his lips grazed your own, the loud shrill of your phone caught the both of you off guard and nearly caused you to bump ‘Touya’ in the face.

Flushed face turned away from the demon, you turned all your attention to the device. The caller’s ID made you smile in excitement once you saw the name of your best friend, there was only one reason she would call you this early during the weekend.

“Hey, What’s up!” Her cheerful voice made you walk away from the sink, leaving a frowning demon behind. Touya only glared at the device as he saw you talking happily with the girl on the other side of the line. He caught the word “party”, and couldn’t help but smirk smugly once he realized just what that meant. He was really going to enjoy this.

“Alright, I’ll go get ready, see you there!” Ending the call with a squeal, you ran into your room to look for a proper outfit and do your makeup. He just followed behind silently and leaned against the open door, watching you get undressed with a hungry glint in his eye and a devilish smirk.

“Ugh...Which one should I wear?” You mumbled to yourself, looking at the two tops in the bed with a pensive look. Black or Blue top?

“The blue one looks better.” The demon’s voice surprised you for a bit before a loud shriek was heard as he got the other top thrown at his laughing face, but you had to admit he had good taste. The top he suggested had been sitting at the bottom of the closet for a long time anyway, so it was the perfect time to use it!

Grabbing a pair of black jeans, you quickly got dressed and began putting on makeup, just enough to make your eyes stand out with the lights from the club, and a beautiful shade of red that complimented your skin just perfectly. Lastly, a pair of boots that fit the outfit just perfectly. From his place, Touya gripped the fabric thrown at his face strong enough to slightly tear through it with his black claws. Pupils dilated at the sight of those boots adorning those beautiful legs of yours.

Checking the hour, you still had some time before meeting up with your friends. Snatching a small handbag nearby, you made sure everything was in place. Money? check. Keys? check….A condom, just in case? Check.

“I’ll be back later. If I find any of the neighbors at the door, I’m exorcising you myself!” You looked at Dabi with an annoyed squint, remembering the last time he got in trouble for scaring one of the nosy neighbors from the other building, claiming they had it coming for trying to peek through your window.

He said nothing as he saw you rushing out, a wicked grin appeared on his face as he thought of the surprise you might get tonight. It was going to be so much fun.

Two hours later, you were having the time of your life with the others. Taking shots, dancing to the loud music, and sharing looks with one of the hottest strangers you’ve ever met in your life while sitting at one of the barstools. Too intoxicated by the high from the party to notice the burning sensation around the skin of your neck.

“Sooooo, why haven’t you texted these past weeks?” Your friend sat down at your left, resting for a bit from dancing her heart out with this other girl that kept making eyes at her, much to her flustering. “She’s totally checking you out! Atta girl” She couldn’t stop giggling like a teenager at your remarks. 

“I’ve been busy, lots of stuff that needs to be taken care of.” Like how to get rid of the demonic hobo that keeps stealing the instant ramen. But your friend only gave you a look while downing another shot of some liquid courage. 

“The last time you said that we had to take all of the stuff you dropped at your ex’s home after you broke up with them. You’re seeing someone, aren’t you?” She gave you a knowing grin. This girl knows you better than your own family, but what were you supposed to tell her?

Yeah! I went to visit my family and ended up fucking a demon at the church, who just happened to move in with me and won’t stop trying to get laid! 

At this rate, you’d probably end up locked up if someone could hear your thoughts.

Downing another shot, she stood up from her seat and made her way back to the dancefloor and into the arms of her admirer. Thinking about the situation back home left you thinking about Dabi, and that day back at the church. He may try to get into your pants nearly every single day, and yet, he usually stopped his approaches after a while.

Despite all the stress he caused, sometimes he'd go out of his way to help out, even though most of the time he kept messing with your stuff...Maybe...he wasn’t so bad after all…

“Gah! What am I thinking?” Shaking the thoughts out of your head, the drink in front of you was quickly downed.

“Something troubling that pretty face?”  Another voice came from your right side before you had the chance to order another drink. Looking back quickly made your face get warm. The same guy that kept looking at you was standing right there. Just having him this close made something stir inside, as well as a burning sensation at your neck that was brushed off in favor of admiring this beautiful stranger.

“You can say that again, haha….” He sat down beside you, before ordering two beers and handing one over to you.

“Well, hearing a pretty one out is my specialty. Cheers for our troubled lives, am I right?” He raised the bottle before taking a big gulp of the cold, bitter liquid and you followed after him, the night passed by with some small talk and laughter as your face began getting warmer because of the alcohol.

And by the time the clock struck past 1 am, you were already close to this stranger at the far corner of the club.

….Or at least you tried to.

Another two hours passed by, and the sound of the door being slammed loudly caught Touya’s attention as he read one of your favorite books at the same spot from that afternoon.

“You….!” A furious growl came out of your throat. He didn’t bother looking up, already feeling the heated glare at the back of his head before hearing your marching to the bedroom, and he just grinned in realization once he caught a whiff of your scent. 

Dropping the book carelessly behind him, Touya walked nonchalantly inside the bedroom, spotting you taking off all the make-up, half-ruined by your sweat.

“Something wrong, little one?” You turned to glare at him furiously, before throwing the cotton pat at him, which was quickly dodged. But he couldn’t dodge when you pulled him by the collar and began shaking him in anger.

“What did you do to me?!” He felt the frustration coming out of your body, and he also saw it on those fiery eyes of yours “I was this close, THIS CLOSE to getting laid with one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met in my life!” Your faces nearly touched each other “But right as we were about to do it, not only does this fucking mark starts burning like crazy! I couldn’t feel anything as he touched me!” 

You smacked his chest rapidly, trying to let out all that pent-up anger inside, if only this bastard could actually react to your punches, it would actually be satisfying to hit him, but he wouldn’t even flinch.

Before a hand could land on his face, he quickly caught it mid-air, pulling you closer by the waist with something dark in his eyes. Bright, glowing eyes looked down at you. 

“That’s just a side-effect of being a vessel. You can actually be pleased however you want, but there’s a catch.” The way he grinned gave away his answer even before he continued to speak. “As long as we’re bonded to each other, only a master can actually please their vessel.”

You pulled away from him, holding the wrist he held closer to your chest. Like he could tear off the limb in an instant if you weren’t careful enough.

“Besides, think about it. Why would you want to be pleased by a mere mortal, when you know just what exactly your master can offer? Or have you forgotten that night? When you could only scream how much you adored my cock?” 

As much as you wanted to pour the contents of the spritzer on him...he had a point. Why in the world did you want someone else when someone that made you feel such wonderful things, was living under the same roof as yours?

It’s a trap.

Looking down at the floor, you bit harshly at your lip and headed towards the bathroom. After everything that happened tonight, you really needed to freshen up.

Getting undressed and stepping under the running water in the bathtub was easy. Allowing the cold stream to run down your body, trying desperately to ease the aching heat between your legs was the hard part. With each passing second, the increasing heat became insufferable, but no matter how chilled the water felt, the aching wouldn’t go down one bit.

Lust began clouding your thoughts the more time you spent under the cold bath, it was starting to become downright painful and as much as you tried pleasing yourself, it just wasn’t enough.

Walking out of the shower with a soft towel carefully wrapped around your body, you tried to distract yourself blow-drying the damp locks of hair. Trying to ignore the clenching between your thighs. Despite having just taken a shower, there was already slick running down your legs. 

Whimpering, you walked out of the bathroom. Colliding with Touya’s hard chest as he stood in the way between the bathroom and the hallway. His whole body trembled as he let out a low, dangerous growl as soon as he caught a whiff of your scent. It would be a lie if you said that sound didn’t scare you…and at the same time, excited you.

Slowly tilting your head up to look at him, you were met with the same dark eyes from that time at the church. And before you realized what was happening, he had already pushed you against the wall, caging you in the spot with his arms. 

“T-Touya…?” 

But he just ignored you and crashed his lips upon yours with a bruising force. Sending an overwhelming shock from head to toe that nearly made your body give up and fall down on the floor. It was fierce, strong, passionate. You couldn’t even begin to fully describe it, but it was perfect.

“I could smell you from the other side of town.” He broke the kiss, allowing you to catch your breath before he kissed you again as eagerly as before. This time you were ready, and gladly began kissing him back with the same strength. Moaning into the kiss and holding onto him for dear life as his middle finger began prodding its way inside you. He swallowed your every noise happily, enjoying the way your body began trembling as his hand gave you a slight taste of sweet relief, that was so desperately needed.

Then he broke the kiss one more time, teal eyes engulfed in black as he admired your warm face and half-lidded eyes. “That sweet scent of your body, crying out to be pleased, begging to be satisfied until you become nothing but a limp mess underneath your master.”

He looked at your eyes closing with nothing but bliss, begging for more of his unholy touch. Nothing mattered to you anymore, all you wanted was for Touya to defile your whole being like he did the very first time.

“Ahhh….Please…” Lust glazed eyes fluttered open to look at him, and he almost wanted to take you right there, right now “Take my body however you want, Master…”

In an instant. He pulled his hand away from your core, yanking the towel away in the process. With little to no effort, Touya lifted your body with both hands and wrapped your legs around his waist, before taking your begging self to the bedroom. And this time, nothing would stop him from having you, and if he had to obliterate someone to ashes, in order to get what he wanted, he would.

He set you down in front of the bed and sat down on the edge, spreading his calves wide open, just enough for you to fit in at the same time that he leaned back on his lean arms. Face leaning against his knuckles as he looked at your trembling self.

“What are you waiting for, little one? Your master is waiting.”

Nothing but pure, concentrated arousal fueled your every thought. One knee bent down on the floor, the other one followed soon after. Finally, you sat in front of the demon, resting both hands over your knees, and waited for his next commands while staring at a growing bulge, easily noticeable under the layers of black denim. 

“Time to worship your master’s cock, little one.” 

Shaky hands made contact with the zipper of his jeans, slowly tugging it down. A small purr was heard from above you, and the room slowly began to get warmer as the demon’s pants slowly became looser around his waist.

“Look what you do to me. I’ve never wanted to fuck you more than I do now.” He growled in contempt once his jeans were undone and his underwear was pulled down. That all too unique cock sprung out before your half-closed eyes, already dripping with precum. Having it this close to your eyes was way different from last time. 

You could see every detail of the ridges at his sides, and this time, there was something else you definitely did not see, or feel the last time. He smirked widely, showing off those longs fangs of his when he saw you look up at him with curious eyes.

“This is new...When did you get a Jacob’s ladder?” Your hand grasped around the erect member, taking as much of it as it could. Thumb tracing a small vertical line at the underside of it, right in between the row of piercings decorating his shaft, all the way from the base until it stopped right below the tip. The slightest touch was almost enough to send the demon into a frenzy.

“Shortly after leaving the church. But what can I say? I wanted to surprise you.” He didn’t move one bit as he stared at you with those bright eyes. His hands cupped the side of your face, nails scratching gently at your cheek, and you couldn’t help leaning towards his warm touch. “This cock isn’t gonna suck itself. Come on little one, get those pretty lips of yours to work.”

Too lost in the haze to even bother giving the demon a snarky remark, you happily obeyed his orders. 

Slowly, your hand started touching his length with cautious, but firm strokes. The more you kept touching him, the heavier his breathing became. 

“Your hand feels so good.” As much as you wanted to keep on teasing him, the trembling between your legs just kept getting stronger. Desire kept growing inside you like vines, snaring themselves painfully against your very soul.

Leaning forward, your lips gave the tip of his cock a tender, delicate kiss, and not only the feeling of those soft lips against him, but the dazed look in your eyes made Touya grip the blanket with force, growing nails digging into the material underneath, much to your chagrin. But right now, that didn’t really bother you. The only thing that mattered, was worshipping the throbbing cock in the palm of your hand.

Might as well give the demon what he wanted…

“Mmmm...Is my master enjoying this?” You kept moving your hand while peppering his tip with more kisses. Starting at the head before leaving a trail all the way down to the base. Not once did you break eye contact with him, and he couldn’t really complain about the view. 

“Stop with the teasing already,” His hand pulled harder on your hair, leaning down until both of your faces were so close to each other, that you could practically feel his jagged breathing fanning against your warm face, and those hypnotizing blue orbs nearly digging a hole in your soul. “Now’s when the real worship begins. You know what to do, little one.”

You couldn’t hold back a gasp as he pulled harder on your soft locks, and he took advantage of that little noise, to push that pretty mouth down on his cock, hissing in delight at the warmth of your mouth.

“Shit…! your mouth feels so fucking good, it’s just as nice as your pussy!” Both of your hands came forward to rest on top of his thighs while moaning around the pulsing length. Small vibrations made him tilt his head back with closed eyes and a satisfied groan.

He tasted so good, that the pent-up frustration accumulated over the past week because of him, dissipated in an instant, and all you cared about was showing him...just how much you loved, your master’s cock.

Not waiting for a command, you began bobbing your head immediately, taking as much of him as possible, while continuing to stroke whatever bit couldn’t fit inside your mouth. Saliva and pre-cum mixed together into a lewd mixture, slowly dripping down your chin with each bob of your head. 

The grip in your hair became firmer the more your tongue kept tracing circles on his tip. Touya could hear your little, satisfied hums the more you attempted to take him deeper with each thrust of your head against his hips. Thighs shaking desperately once the taste of his precum reached every corner of your tongue.

“As much as I love the way you take my cock with that filthy mouth,” With a single maneuver, he pulled your face away from him despite the little whines you gave, wishing to taste him just a bit more. “I can’t wait to leave bruises all over that pretty skin.”

Unwilling to wait any longer, Touya pulled you off the ground, and with a grin, he threw you face down on the bed. The mattress dipped down on your side by the weight of the demon climbing over your withering body. 

“Get on your knees, right now.” The authority in his words was almost enough for you to melt on the spot. Obediently, you positioned yourself just as the demon said, and felt him grab on your hips with a force that would certainly leave a path of dark bruises. 

When he began rubbing himself against your soaked folds, the friction from those firm ridges sent an exquisite sensation through your whole body, it made him laugh darkly once he heard those small, silent gasps as you waited eagerly to be filled. 

A sharp pain shot through your backside when his hands smacked the skin of your ass, and although it was painful, it felt so good at the same time.

“What’s the matter, little one?” Another smack was given, making you yelp from excitement “You like this don’t you? What a filthy slut!” 

When a third smack was given, tears ran down your face desperately. All you wanted was for this demon to ravish you at once. Not a pinch of pride or shame remained inside. You wanted him, and badly.

“Ahh...Please, master…” A hand snaked its way underneath, spreading those slick folds wide open as an offering to the demon. “Please, fuck me already. I can’t take it anymore!” 

“Good!” One of his hands pushed lightly on the head of his cock, guiding it towards your warm, little hole and with a swift thrust, Touya buried himself all the way in. “Cause I’m gonna fuck you senseless, make you feel so damn good, that the thought of being with someone else will never cross your mind ever again, little one.”

Oh god, it was even better than last time. You could feel every single ridge, and those piercings brushing snuggly against your walls as he began with a fast pace immediately. His every thrust turned you into a mess underneath him. 

Why did you even want someone else in the first place when you had this? If you had to settle for one dick to satisfy you for life, then maybe this wasn’t so bad after all.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Your face buried against the bed with a lost smile and eyes rolling into the back of your head. In addition, your hands kept gripping the sheets with a death grip as Touya began hitting a spot over and over again that knocked your breath away. Watching you squirming underneath him was truly a sight to behold, nothing could come close to how beautiful you looked in the demon’s eyes.

“I can’t get enough of this delicious pussy, it feels amazing having you taking my cock like this…!” He held your body closer to his, hands kneading your chest in synch with his every push. 

Your moans became louder with every single hump of his pelvis ramming against your ass, it brought you closer and closer over the edge. Until that all too familiar knot in your stomach. 

“Master!...I’m coming! I’m coming!” Your whole body began trembling from the upcoming high, inner walls clasping around the throbbing girth humping your insides so wickedly good. 

But then, Touya stopped moving so abruptly that it almost made you cry out in frustration. Was this his revenge for the spritzer?

But that’s wasn’t it. Instead, he flipped you over and pulled those beautiful legs to rest against his shoulders. Nibbling softly on the soft flesh of your inner thighs made goosebumps appear all over your body, and with a grin, he once again slammed his cock inside that warm, sloppy hole he adored. Picking up his brutal pace from before caused the headboard to slam loudly against the wall with each jab of his hips against yours.

“I want to see that look on your face again. That look in your eyes as I fill this delicious pussy with my cum!” You couldn’t stop gasping for air the more he kept shoving his length into the depths of your warmth, savoring the feeling with eyes closed tightly in nothing but pure enjoyment.

"Take it you little lamb! Take all of your master's seed until you become big and swollen with my offspring!"

He gave another rough thrust, hitting that same spot from before with an intensity that made you cling onto him for dear life, wrapping your arms around his neck. The heat from his body was searing hot, a little more and it could burn you alive at any moment. When you opened your eyes again, the sight you witnessed was hypnotizing.

His body was engulfed in blue flames, and despite being so close to him, that fire around him didn’t burn your skin in the slightest, but instead, it began burning away at his skin, and you realized it was actually destroying his disguise. When he lifted his head from your neck, you saw the same scarred face from that night at the church.

But his unnatural appearance didn’t bother you anymore, too lost in the high as Touya...No...As Dabi let out a deep snarl and with a powerful thrust, that tight knot in your stomach burst. Making you scream as an orgasm overtook your senses.

The look in your face sent Dabi into a frenzy, the sound of his length sloshing into your sloppy core resonated through the bedroom, and with a couple more thrusts, he slammed himself deep inside, clinging onto you as he filled your womb with his scalding seed. 

You both stayed in place, breathing heavily while clinging to each other. Slowly, he pulled out and crawled back, the motion caused your legs to plop on the mattress and he watched in satisfaction as his seed kept leaking out of your drained body, before getting up from the bed and walking out of the room.

For a good ten minutes, you didn’t bother moving, wincing slightly at the sticky sensation all over your whole body, and when every single spasm kept making your body leak with Dabi’s cum, you felt even stickier. The bedsheet laid there completely torn to shreds, soaked and slightly charred. 

“Come here.” Dabi walked back inside the room without his human disguise. Carefully he picked you up bridal style and took you back to the bathroom, where the bathtub was nicely filled. He helped you get in and lean back against the edge as the steaming hot water helped your worn-out body to relax. “There we go.”

“Why are you doing all this? I thought demons didn’t care about us mortals.” From the corner of your eyes, you spotted him picking a small towel from the shelves before he approached the tub again, he soaked it slightly in the tub, before using it to wipe your face.

“Well, I need to take good care of my vessel.” This time, he used the towel on your hair, the warmth felt nice on your sensitive scalp after having your hair pulled for a good time. “And honestly? I like this. You have guts standing up to a demon. Can’t say I don’t like the thrill though. So, as long as we’re bonded, just sit back and enjoy your daily life while I make sure to give you whatever you need.”

You hated to admit it, but it was a tempting offer. Either way, you’re definitely going to hell anyway....Maybe this deal wasn't so bad after all.

@hawks-senseis @honeytama @savagetrickster @unbreakableeiji @wakaoujisenhime @fanfic-me-up @natsuosfairy @sailor-manga @shoutogepi @gr0vndz3ro @divinewhimsy

#bnha imagine #mha imagine #bnha imagines #mha imagines #bnha smut #dabi smut #bnha dabi #dabi x reader #dabi is touya #touya smut

[benryphobic]

tell me ur thoughts on... Darnry

DARNEY MY BELARNREY......HELL YES

💐 Who tends to worry the most?

Darnold. He has anxiety! He's very uncomfortable with sudden change, too, so anything extreme happening out of his schedule makes him freak out

💋 Who is the most physically affectionate?

Benry. he gives his *friends* kisses, man. he would give Darnold so much physical affection it would be annoying (sometimes)

⛈ Do they enjoy dancing?

They do! Darnold dances like an old man, just kinda swaying side to side, while benry dances like a teenage girl. they have really different tastes in music, but can come together with dancing to r&b!

🌹⛈Who has the most nightmares and how do they deal with them?

Darnold has the most nightmares. Mostly about being terrified and trapped. Benry helps him by just kinda playing games with him, cos neither of them are too good at talking about feelings

🌺 Do they go to sleep at the same time as each other?

They do initially, bc Benry just. never slept. he doesn't need to. But then Benry started to appreciate the fine art of being able to cuddle and doze with a comfy body in his arms

⚡ What are their nicknames for each other?

I can't really think of anything but benry probably calls him like. D. Arnold. as a bit. otherwise i can't see them using any nicknames

🍃 What do they do when the other is stressed?

play video games....if that doesn't work, then they just talk about nothing. if it gets really bad, benry uses sweet voice for him, but thats not super often. darnold helps benry by just being his friend (homosexual)

🌻 How do they spend time if the other is gone?

Darnold does his science shit, goes back to school to become a professor, plays video games etc etc. benry plays video games, listens to music, probably makes his own music, talks to his friends, etc

🎮 Do they have a favourite video game they enjoy playing together?

team fortress 2.....they both go medic and do this

💍 Would they ever get married?

probably! no big wedding or anything, but they would get a little dressed up

✨ Who proposes?

benry! he does it very casually but very heartfelt

👑 Who is the meme lover?

darnold laughs at minion memes and cat memes. benry does not go on the internet.

📚 Who likes to read?

Darnold! he's fascinated with his field of study, but also in a lot of different things. he reads a lot to calm down and as a hobby

🎩 Who bothers the other person while the other person reads?

haha benry. if benry needs attention (which is often) he'll bother darnold like an immature child.

🌼 How do their personalities complement each other?

i think both are very matter of fact while saying the craziest shit. the difference is you can kinda tell when benry is joking (unless youre gordon) , while you cannot tell at All when Darnold is. Plus i kinda see them both as quiet people, maybe ambiverts at most, so they just kinda chill most of the time. theyre absurd in different ways, and its great :)

🔥 Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?

neither? i think benry would shoot someone just for picking their nose

💀 What would they dress up as, for Halloween?

oooohghuhghhhhh the cheesiest costumes ever. the first year theyre dating they go as a medic and solider duo, but years after theyd do like. cishet costumes bc they both think its funny (harley quinn and joker, Frankenstein and the bride of frakenstein, jack and sally, etc) they still really like dressing up as video game characters tho, so they do that too to mix it up

🌈 What are their favourite colours?

darnold likes green! benry........does not have a favorite

🌹 Who is the hopeless romantic?

Neither! Darnold is a man of science, a man of work. he was very happy being single, benry just kinda added a new dynamic in his life that he very much enjoyed. benry is just....not a romantic. if he has a crush on someone he's like "well.....lol" and usually pursues like a 5 year old

🎭 Who is the dramatic one?

benry. he sounds like he's eternally pouting

🎈 Who makes jokes during inappropriate times?

benry, duh. hes kind of a dick. darnold cannot take him to funerals

💝 What do they love about each other the most?

the sick gamer strats. idk this is a weird question cos when u love someone, i feel like u love....all of them? or at least a lot of them. theres not really a favorite trait. they just go "yo this is nice as fuck" when u spend time with each other and like. cuddle.

👓 Who googles everything?

darnold uses Google as a research engine for his work and hobbies

🌙 How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation?

they r there for each other. if its truly helpless, i think that's enough.

🍂 What is an inside joke they have?

pyro airpoof.....whether or not Darnolds potions are g fuel bc Powerade is kinda close to Gatorade

💟 What do you think makes them perfect for one another?

i dont think theyre perfect for one another! benrys an annoying jackass, Darnold is a nice man. but i think if benry got a huge loser crush, hed feel the need not to pull on darnolds metaphorical pigtails. its respect

🌷 Are you nervous to talk about your OTP? Why?

kinda nervous! but only bc i have trouble thinking about their dynamic. my favorite genre of romance is just.....dudes that hang out and kiss. i also don't want it to sound like knock off frenrey. Darnold is the only one who seemed a little annoyed by benry too, in a very different, polite way, but i find it difficult to differentiate the dynamic. Darnold is a little bit of a straight man to the straight man. not to say he isnt absurd. but id find it reallt funny for benry to do some crazy shit and Darnold to go "uhm. ok."

Is your OTP Oc x Canon?

hmm difficult question. hlvrai characterization in general is making an oc and hoping it adheres to Canon. just by shipping darnold and benry im basically making some sort of oc x oc for myself, since their characterizations don't imply theyd ever end up in a romantic relationship

🎵 What's a song (or songs) that remind you of your OTP?

i need more songs for my darnrey playlist 😩😩😩😩

#darnrey #hlvrai #maintagging it fuck it #gg.txt

[humbughana]

second best

warnings: cursing per usual, mentions of sex (gasp), hidden feelings (ugh the angst), dick rafe (yum), bad writing (the horror)

words: 3k

enjoy lovers x

Rafe and Lola have been friends since they were born, both shoved together by their families and being the same age, it was easy for them to grow closer throughout the years. 

But there was always a line that was to never be crossed.  A mutual understanding, of sorts.

A line that hardened the girl over the years when she started to notice how attractive Rafe got or the number of girls he went through right in front of her. Or the pang in her chest when he asked her for one of her friend's numbers. There was harmless flirting between the two, no more than teasing but it was still hard for Lola. 

So she resorted to drowning herself in boys of her own choosing if only to keep her mind off of her best friend.

“Lola!” 

From where she was leaning against the stairs, she could see the entire living room crowded with teenagers. Topper always knew how to throw a good party, “Yes Top?” She sipped her drink slowly, not looking at her blonde friend who joined her.

He rolled his eyes at her, “You can’t stand here all night, Lo.” He gestured to some of her friends that danced drunkenly, “Get out there.” Lola only shook her head slightly, “Not in the mood tonight.” she muttered with a shrug. It was true - and untrue. She showed up at the house excited to let loose with her friends but she almost immediately saw Rafe with his tongue down the throat of some brunette that was on his arm all night. 

When they were in high school, Topper noticed her soft spot for Rafe, especially after he had asked one of her friends to prom and the tears in her eyes when he saw her leaving the school that day, “Lola-” he started but was cut off with a sharp look that told him to shut his big mouth up.

“I’m fine.” She shrugged and a smile grew on her lips as she saw one of the guys she hooked up with regularly and casually, and as if to say ‘see’ she sauntered over to the boy and leaned into his side, an arm immediately wrapping around her waist. Throwing a smile over her shoulder to Topper he only shook his head in disapproval at her coping mechanisms. 

Rafe and Lola would kill each other, he vouched. 

Lola spent the night perched on the boys lap, drinks placed in her hand accordingly until she unintentionally swayed to the beat of the music. The boy- Jack was his name placed a firm hand on her back to keep her steady. He was sweet, much too sweet for her and he knew about her problem with Rafe. And she knew about his broken heart that his ex-girlfriend gleefully ripped in two. They were using each other, sure, but they respected each other. 

“Coming back to my place?” His voice was warm in her ear and she nodded, too eager to leave the party. She saw Rafe climbing the stairs with the same brunette to where she knew the guest rooms were, gritting her teeth. She let Jack’s hand slide up her back to rest behind her neck, “Let’s go.” Lola mumbled, standing up eyes still on the steps. 

So she would let Jack fuck her until she couldn’t even think about the tall blonde that was crushing her heart.

~

“Fuck you,” she spat at Rafe who only grinned back at her, pleased with himself as he held the golf club with ease. They both took the game way too seriously to have a casual outing anymore and Rafe was now beating her, “Have you been practicing without me?” she demanded, ripping the club out of his hand and setting her own ball up. Lining her feet up he laughed warmly behind her, “I took Victoria here the other day.” 

Barely listening to him, she hit the ball and watched it sail in the right direction with a grin. But Rafe continued and now she was listening, “You know her, I think. I took her to Topper’s party the other day.” So that was the brunette that he was with all night, “I didn’t actually see you that night, Lo. Did you go?” 

“I was there.” She nodded as Rafe drove them to their balls much too slowly when all she wanted to do was sink into herself. There was nothing more she wanted to hear about concerning Rafe and the girl he was seeing, “You must have just been busy with Victoria.” Unable to keep the sarcastic edge out of her tone Rafe turned to look at her slightly with a frown.

“Or you must have been with that Ashford kid.” She rolled her eyes, Rafe made his opinions abundantly clear about her friend.

“Jack?”

“Who else do you hang all over when you go out?” He was serious, she noticed and let out a real laugh. Rafe only clenched his jaw, “Something funny Lo?” She nodded, “Yeah actually. You have a problem with who I hang out with?”

“Only the ones you fuck.”

 She sucked in a breath, partly shocked and angry that he would have the nerve to say that to her face. So she nodded, heart beating too fast, “I am fucking him.” She spoke slowly but unwaveringly when she saw Topper and Kelce in the distance, “Careful Rafe.” she taunted “You sound jealous.” His head snapped to meet her eyes but she only rolled hers in response. Topper waved at the duo and Lola smiled at him, “You better leave him alone, Rafe.” She would kill Rafe if he went after Jack and she wouldn’t put it past Rafe to do something stupid. 

Rafe only angrily stomped off to Kelce when the cart stopped and she rolled her eyes once more at the dramatics of him before joining Topper, “What's his deal?” Topper asked, watching his two friends stalk off.

“He’s mad at me.” she snorted and Topper asked why, “Because I’m fucking Jack Ashford.” She laughed again, finding the irony in the situation while Topper just sighed and shook his head.

“Tell him, Lola.” 

“I don’t know what you're talking about Top” She crossed her arms and stared straight ahead, “I’m leaving actually. Let him wallow with you two.” She walked back over to the golf cart she and Rafe were using, ignoring Topper’s protest and drove back to the clubhouse. 

The nerve of that boy.

~

Lola and her two friends dragged her along to one of the few bars in their area, easily using their fake ID’s to get in and quickly downing a few shots to get them in the mood.

“I’m gonna go dance,” she mumbled, taking the last shot in front of her and wincing at the taste. And that she did, Lola danced in the mass of people and laughed as she left carefree until her skin began to overheat. 

“Lola!” she heard Eve yell and she turned in the direction of her two friends, one of which was in the face of another girl she didn’t recognize. Frowning she pushed through the crowd until she stood next to Eve who stared at their friend in worry.

“Sadie,” Lola started to intervene as their words started to change into yelling, “Come on.”

The girl she didn’t know laughed maliciously, “No - that little cunt kissed my boyfriend!” To which launched Sadie into an enraged furry, trying to reach around Lola that wedged herself in between the fight.

“What happened!” Lola raised her voice, eyeing Eve who cringed to the side. Sadie only laughed, “He kissed me! You crazy bitch!”

Lola wanted to groan, that was until the angry girlfriend spat out, “Whore!” Lola turned and smacked the girl across the face before anyone could have predicted the fight. If the crowd of people didn’t already know what was happening, then they certainly did now as the two girls fell in a heap on the floor, Lola on top.

“Get her, Lo!” Sadie yelled gleefully while Eve anxiously scrolled through her contacts, knowing they were about to get kicked out of the bar, if not arrested for being underage. 

When Lola started throwing real punches and the bouncer began sifting through the dense crowd towards them she held the phone to her ear, “Rafe?” Rafe had basically grown up with Lola’s two friends as well and knew something was up at the sound of her voice, “What’s up, Eve?”

“Please come get us? Lola’s fighting some girl and-” she cut herself off, “We’re at Brothers.” Rafe cursed at the girls but hung up with the promise he’d be there soon. 

The bouncers finally intervened, one grabbed Lola around the waist, the other two were dragging Sadie and the angry girlfriend out. Eve just followed behind with red cheeks while Lola cursed the bouncers to hell and back, Sadie still yelling at the other girl. They were unceremoniously dumped on the sidewalk outside, “You cause any problems out here and we’re calling the police.” The men looked at them pointedly and Eve prayed Rafe would show up and hopefully with his friends, she didn’t know if Rafe would be enough.

“Happy now? Your boyfriend probably has his tongue down someone else's throat.” Sadie crossed her arms as she stood next to Lola who looked crazed still, “Fucking psycho,” Lola muttered, catching the attention of the girl anyways.

“What did you call me?” her nasally voice rang true as she got back into Lola’s face and she only smiled.

“A. Fucking. Psycho.” Lola spat each word harshly as the girl's face turned red, Lola couldn’t react fast enough to dodge the hand that hit her cheek harshly. Eve could have cried when a familiar boy brushed past her and grabbed Lola around the waist and dragged her flailing body away.

“Rafe!” Sadie yelled in surprise, “I’m so glad you came.” She swayed slightly and Topper grabbed her elbow so she didn’t fall, “Topper too?” The drunk girl laughed forgetting all about the fight and the other girl finally stalked away, defeated.

“Lola calm the fuck down.” Rafe grabbed her jaw when he set her down in front of him finally. She hissed in pain and he let go, surveying her bruised face in disdain, “What the hell?” Rafe nodded to his friends behind them, telling them to get the other two girls home.

“She started it.” Lola crossed her arms stubbornly, “She insulted Sadie!” Rafe shook his head, a small smile graced his face and she softened immediately, “Don’t be mad at me,” She pouted, the alcohol making her a tad more open with her feelings. Rafe only laughed quietly and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, “Let's get you home, Lo.” He walked the two of them to his car as she walked him through the fight, “I totally won too.” She finished with a victorious grin.

Rafe lifted her up into the car with a grin, “I’m sure you did, baby.”  She warmed at the pet name that easily fell into their conversation and sat with a shit eating grin as he jumped into his side of the car, “Can I stay with you?”

Rafe nodded with a smile and began driving, “Course.”

Lola turned up the radio and began to hum to the songs she knew as Rafe could only watch her with a soft smile, “C'mon, Lo” He pulled her out of the car when they arrived at his familiar home and she only groaned and closed her eyes dramatically, “Fine,” he shrugged, “You leave me no choice.” He swiftly picked her up and walked them to the front door, setting her down on unsteady legs to unlock the door. Lola happily led the way to Rafe’s bedroom and began to sift through his closet for clothes to sleep in and took off her little top, hearing a slight cough behind her. 

“What?” She turned around completely, the shirt clutched to her bare chest and a smirk on her face made him swallow harshly, “Put the shirt on, Lola.” She rolled her eyes at his seriousness and slipped the shirt on before dragging the skirt down her legs.

“You’re no fun, Rafe.” She mumbled, crawling into his bed and shifting under the covers. He only looked at her with a look she couldn’t decipher before shaking his head, “I’m going to the guest room. You can take my bed.” 

“What?” She sat up on her elbows with a confused frown, “We’ve always shared a bed.” 

Rafe rubbed his eyes in frustration, “We’re not kids anymore, Lola.”

She was utterly confused, “Rafe I slept here, with you, last week. What’s wrong with you?” Fully sitting up now she furrowed her eyebrows when he shook his head.

“It’s different now,”

“In the past four days, you mean?” 

Rafe sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “ Goodnight Lola.”

“Rafe Cameron!” She threw a pillow at his back when he turned to leave his own room and he sighed audibly again at her antics. She tried not to let it sting, wondering what changed to wedge a space in between them.

“Don’t look at me like that,” He groaned and she blinked rapidly, now on her knees on the bed.

“Like what?”

“Like I’m breaking your heart over this.” 

Lola bit down on her bottom lip, “What if you were?” She looked at him with wide eyes, glassy from the alcohol and maybe her emotions. Rafe furrowed his brows as if confused with her admission but shook his head anyways, “You don’t mean that. Go to bed, Lo.” 

“Fuck you, Rafe. I’m leaving.” She jumped off the bed, stumbling slightly and began to grab her clothes when Rafe snatched her upper arm, “Like hell you are.” But she was ready and shoved his chest until he stumbled backwards. “Tell me the truth.” Lola crossed her arms expectantly and Rafe looked equally annoyed.

So he shrugged, “I don’t want to mess things up with Victoria. I don’t want her to get the wrong idea of our relationship.” And suddenly she was a freshman in highschool again, Rafe had just started dating a girl he barely knew and she was alone. Rafe left her in the dust for a new girl because he ‘didn’t want them to get the wrong idea’. 

And everytime she waited like a lost puppy for Rafe to call or text her, telling her he broke up with whoever he was seeing. Everything could go back to normal, she always thought. Always the faithful little friend.

So the sour look on her face fell to one of loss and Rafe had the nerve to ask what was the matter, she let out a dead laugh, “I’m not doing this anymore, Rafe. I won’t” She shook her head, her mind clear as his eyes reflected the opposite.

“What are you talking about?” 

She began to grab her skirt, pulling it back up her legs, leaving his shirt on and pulling on the jacket she had, “You cannot throw me to the side when it is convenient for you. I won’t wait for you anymore. So you either find a way to balance or this is goodbye Rafe.” She clipped his shoulder on her way out the door before he turned to follow on her heels. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!!” He was angry with her. Good, she thought. And only when she reached his front door did she turn, “You think about that. Hell, even ask Topper. But I can’t do this anymore. I’m walking home.” 

And that she did. The walk was really only five minutes as they lived on the same street and as usual her house was empty. Sitting in the empty kitchen in the dark, Lola pulled out her phone to see a few texts,

top: tell him. 

rafe: are you home?

And lastly, one that made her stall,

jack: can I come over?

~

“Morning,” she mumbled into her pillow as she felt the boy next to her shift with a groan. Jack’s hands reached out until he grabbed her waist and pulled her into him, burying his face into her neck tiredly, “morning lo.” his hands ran over her back in a comforting way that had her clinging to him, their legs tangled together. 

But neither of them were who the other truly wanted to find next to them in the mornings. 

Jack pulled away first, slowly sitting up and running a hand through his hair. He looked lost; sad even and she sat up behind him, running her hand up to his shoulder, “What happened?” she pressed a kiss to his bare shoulder as he covered his face with his hands. And there was always a reason for their visits.

“she moved on.” was all he said and Lola wrapped her arms around his waist from behinds and let them bask in the comfort for a little longer. 

But it was her turn when he turned his body to face her, “why am I here?” he looked at her pointedly and she smirked, “because I love your company.” he smiled at her but they both knew it wasn't the truth, so he laid her back down and propped himself on his elbow to look at her from the side. 

Lola sighed, looking from him to the ceiling over her, “he’s done with me.” she kept it short and sweet like he did but he still frowned, looking over her face as if to say who could possibly leave you behind? The sweetness of the boy next her here made her heart squeeze painfully, if only she could love him instead. 

He kissed her deeply when the first tear fell on her cheek and didn’t stop until her mind went blank with pleasure as he rocked into her late into the morning sun. Only when they both collapsed back onto the bed, breathing deeply, did she look at him but there were simply no words to say.

xx

*part 2

#rafe cameron #rafe outer banks #rafe #rafe cameron x oc

[dallonm-archive]

[image description: three monstera leaves. The leaves and wall are tinted purple by string lights behind the plant. In the middle, in a white serif font and all caps, reads “LIFE CYCLE OF MASSIVE STARS”. At the bottom, in the same font but smaller, reads “update #1″ /end id]

LIFE CYCLE OF MASSIVE STARS | UPDATE #1

Before I start, this is an autistic OwnVoices novel and it’s Autism Acceptance Month! Remember that awareness is passive and acceptance is active. And whilst this book is autistic OwnVoices I want to stress that it doesn’t cover the full autistic experience; autism is so individualistic and  this story only stems from my experience. Make sure you to listen to all autistics, not just those who can speak and live independently and present in a way that suits neurotypical society. Support autistic creatives and if you’re also a creative, include autistic characters in your work! Autism is not a disease. It does not need to be cured. 

Hey y’all! This has sure been a week! I gave myself the goal of 15,000 words for Camp Nano and somehow hit that in 5 days? I have literally never written at that pace before so I’m a little shocked lol. I don’t intend to keep that pace but the momentum has made drafting very fun and? drafting this has been a literal dream. I was really worried because March was a month long slump I expected to carry into April. I want to disclaim that I’m currently out of school and work because of the pandemic so I have all the free time to write and that definitely contributed! But also as a neurodivergent and disabled writer, free time does not always equal writing, so to know that I am capable of writing like this, even if not always, it is Such a gamechanger. Also this story makes me miss University so much I actually can’t take it :( 

LCOMS has been a dream so far because the protagonists are all characters I’ve had for 5-8 years, and | spent those years struggling to figure out their stories. Even when I settled on this story, originally Patchwork, there was like 4 versions of it before I landed on this - none ever drafted beyond a couple thousand words because they just Never Worked. But the wait was worth it because holy shit I feel like I struck gold. This story feels so me, it’s so much fun to write, and I don’t think a story has come to me this easy before. It’s given me such a zest for storytelling again that I didn’t realise was missing. I’m slowing things down now because creative boundaries and self care >>>>, but I just passed 19k words - though some of the chapters are very unfinished because my priority has been mapping out the story’s skeleton as far as I can, then filling in the gaps based off what I learnt. I wanna put a passage before the cut so it’s not just me rambling about bullshit and no content, but it’s hard to pick just one, so here’s a non-linear scene that I :) cannot elaborate on :)

(CW: alcohol)

[image description: the side of a ferris wheel against black sky. The wheel is lit white, but at the bottom it’s coloured a mix of pink, blue and green. At the top, in a white serif font, reads “The ferris wheel lights blur between turquoise, magenta, mint, lavender, casts the puddles into technicolour. “ /end id]

Picture this: December 17th. End of term. End of year. Cloudless night, stars winking. Fargate glows, market stalls lit by yellow fairy lights line the street like candle stubs, gently burning. It’s raining. It has all day. Dampened your new beanie and scarf but you’re not mad, even if you’ll cringe at the texture when you take them off later. The ferris wheel lights blur between turquoise, magenta, mint, lavender, casts the puddles into technicolour. Your eyes and feet ache, but you’re not mad. And the mulled wine that buzzed warm in your bloodstream now coils in your stomach, but you’re not mad. You’re queuing for the technicolour wheel, even though you know it’ll be underwhelming and a waste of £4, but you’re not mad. Chocolate is usually too sweet for you, but he bought a pack of snowflake shaped ones - each carved with their own design - and when he passes the paper bag over you don’t say no. They taste like raspberry. He grins at you.

I have once again written a long update because I am autistic and have no self control; more excerpts and chapter-by-chapter rambles are as usual under the cut!

(content warnings are specific to the respective excerpt, but as a general warning there’s a lot of alcohol mentions!)

Originally I wanted 3 parts for 3 semesters, but I might do 2? Especially because in the UK at least the spring and summer semester kinda blend into one. The chapters are grouped by 3 - one for every POV character - but that’s more to help with writing because I get more done if I break it down like that, but I also like how it’s shaped the story structurally. 

Sometimes the three chapters will be each of the character’s POV on a single event, sometimes they’re more individual but still follow a general idea (for example, one of them is how each character’s first three weeks of the semester goes). As usual for me the plot here is ~non-existent, especially at this stage, but everything is still connected and threaded together and thats all we really need. The chapters are also pretty short at the moment, none of them are over 3k and only tackle 1-3 scenes. This is something I feel is working really nicely now but I’m not gonna commit to it for the entire novel. I like chapter length variety! But right now we are just going with the flow :)

The most unexpected part is this being in second person, which I decided impulsively the night before Nano because I have :) zero self control :). I was unsure if it’d work in Multi POV, but it’s created such a unique tone that I can’t imagine the story without anymore, even if it’ll need tweaking over drafts. I think it suits the story so well! I’m just torn about it being in past or present, so if you see tense jumps in the excerpts no you did not <3 I’m not naming chapters right now beyond the character’s name, but part one is titled Growing Pains.

[image description: photo of a city at night. To the left are skyscrapers with lots of lit up windows behind a chain-link fence. To the right is an unlit building. Near the middle is a bright streetlight. In the middle, in a white serif font, reads “growing pains”. /end id]

 1: Tomas

We start in the most overrated part of Uni, fresher’s week <3 The drinking and clubbing culture of UK university is a big part of this novel but in a way that’s like “hey this can be fun sometimes but sometimes it’s really not and it’s also really not for everyone.” Our three POVs go to a club night and really don’t care for it. Tomas does not want to be here, is in a weird as shit mood, and instead of looking for his friends he goes to the smoking area with a man he just met called Damiano. I really wanna rewrite this because I wrote it with Zero Idea of where the story was going, so here’s the one part of it that I consider salvageable <3 

Damiano shoves his phone in your hands, brightness puncturing darkness. You hadn’t noticed the dimmed lights until then, but the room blued, music and time slowed. Though his notes are on dark mode, his phone brightness is on two fucking high. Your eyes sting. Cracks travel up the screen like veins.

Each character also has a specific image they keep seeing in things that are never actually there and they all make me like 🤠 hey besties what do these mean are you okay?? I Do Not know what they mean yet, but Tomas’ is veins. (Also shout out to me for finally settling on a spelling for his name after 5 years and by that I mean thank you to my friends for peer pressuring me into choosing Tomas lol)

My absolute favourite part of this story is the character voices. They are all SO fun to write, and I feel like I settled into a good combo of My Literary Prose Bullshit and they’re very specific, often very sarcastic voices. They also say fuck like, so many fucking times. RIP to me if I decide to query this <3 

2: Kristen

Okay first off Kristen is THE funniest character I’ve written. He is SO fun. I wish I was his bestie but he’s also been my bestie since 2013. We meet him in the gender neutral bathrooms being annoyed by a very rich and very tone deaf girl. Classism and the UK class divide is one of the biggest themes of this novel, and Kristen is a very proud working class Northerner (the North is massively underfunded and unsupported by the Gov compared to the South) and cannot stand the Tories (Conservative Party). Extremely fucking valid of him

(CW: blood)

“I’m Floss. Florence.” Of course she was. Fucking Florence. “Where are you from?”

You don’t look at her. Eyes on your reflection, the glittered cheekbones. You busy yourself with your eyeliner, gliding the pen over gaps and smudges that don’t exist. “Barnsley, babe.” It’s only a half lie this time - if you tell her you were born in Liverpool she’d probably look at you like you’re a dead rat on the side of a dodgy alleyway. But maybe that’d be better because then she’d leave you the fuck alone. 

“Oh! That’s like well close isn’t it. I’m from Reigate.” Her voice breathes trust fund and Waitrose, tries to speak like it doesn’t. You try not to laugh.

“Reigate! I bet your parents are right little Tories, aren’t they?”

She playfully slapped your shoulder. She thinks you’re friends. "Not every rich person is a Tory!” Don’t roll your eyes don’t roll your eyes don’t roll your eyes. “Is that blood on your hands?” 

“Huh?” You look: faded red dye dried to your palm, blotted on your fingertips. It is dye, because your hair is as of four hours ago a fierce “Real Red”. But it could be blood. “No, it’s hair dye.”

If you think he’s being harsh, she literally calls him a slur like 3 lines after this <3 Fuck rich people half of this book is me clowning on them. 

Kristen’s recurring Imagery is blood, except sometimes it’s less clear if it’s actually blood or not. Once again, besties are you okay ????

3: Junie

Junie my beloved <3 love her so much. She finds Kristen in the bathroom, and they agree to look for Tomas, until Tomas texts to say he already left. But the biggest part of this chapter is the absolute crisis she has over kissing for a girl for the first time to ABBA :) 

(CW: alcohol)

[image description: a disco ball against a red-purple background. The disco ball casts dots of light against the across the ceiling. At the bottom, in a white serif font, reads:  “Dancing Queen bounces against the walls. The disco ball casts specks over the ceiling, floor, walls, your skin, hair, eyes like broken glass.” /end id]

You don’t listen to 80s music, or 70s, but this room is smaller than the main floor, not claustrophobic, less freshers. Yet, even without the mask of a crowd, nobody notices the girl in the corner kissing the other girl. A girl you don’t know. You’d only gone up to her because she has purple hair and you had to tell her how much you love it - what dye is it? Professional or homemade? Did you have to bleach your hair? Professional or homemade? Will your hair fall out if you bleach it at home? If you dye your hair purple, do you become part of the Milky Way or part of Andromeda? She turns and sticks her tongue out to display her fresh tongue piercing, like a silver bullet lodged in flesh. “Dance with me, you look lost.” She has an allure to her, the Andromeda hair, the bullet in the tongue - do you want to pull it out with your teeth, or lodge it in your own skin? But she asks you to dance, and you fall into her orbit, if only for a few songs. Dancing Queen bounces against the walls. The disco ball casts specks over the ceiling, floor, walls, your skin, hair, eyes like broken glass. Her tongue in your mouth, yours in hers, bullet grazing against your lips. She tastes of vodka and cherries and metal.

I really, really feel for Junie. She’s recently out, and she’s only just navigating what it means to exist as a lesbian. She kisses a girl and immediately regrets it, because she’s a hopeless romantic and was hoping her first kiss with a girl wouldn’t be in the back of a club, but she also doesn’t regret it because it was a good kiss and they’ll never see each other again lol. Junie’s recurring imagery is glass and once again, besties are you okay 

4: Junie

I don’t know how I feel about back to back POV chapters but that’s just how this set worked. The next 3 are immediately after the events of the first 3, after they’ve all left the club. Kristen and Junie walk home together, and most of this and his subsequent chapter is establishing relationship dynamics and <3 this story made me love writing dialogue y’all. This story has a lot of dark elements, so it’s really refreshing to be able to have the light-hearted moments as well. Like these characters are all going through it but they’re also Gen Z 20 year olds who grew up using humour to cope like what else are they meant to do 

“We should’ve got that flat on Brunswick. It’s literally down the street from the SU - we’d just have to walk down a hill and then we’d be home.” He complains.

“Kristen, that flat had a rat problem. I saw one scurrying behind the oven.”

“Yeah, and we live with Tomas Meijer now, so what’s the difference?” He faces you, walks backwards, grin plastered on his face.

“That was mean.” You feign annoyance. You sound like a schoolteacher. 

“It’s just how we are, you know. The love hate relationship. Like night and day or some shit. I’d kill for that boy but like, he’s still a rat. He’s the same to me - did he tell you he called me a malnourished ferret once in first year? In English and Dutch. Don’t even remember what it is in Dutch but he really came at me with two knives like that.” 

Kristen and Junie don’t really know each other well - Junie is Tomas’ friend from class and Kristen and Tomas met in dorms, and a series of shitty housemates in second year brought them all together. It’s funny because I really worried Junie would end up with no clear place in the group and more like a third wheel to Kristen and Tomas but as I started writing I realised that her and Kristen are gonna become besties like. Instantaneously. Love this for them <3

5: Kristen

Essentially mirrors the last chapter. Him and Junie arrive home and have a heart to heart in the living room about gender <3 I love this for them <3 

6: Tomas

Tomas goes home with Damiano and they hook up, which is very out of character for Tomas so it’s like his I Am So Random. I Can’t Believe I Just Did That moment. Damiano is a really sweet dude though it’s all good, but he’s here to stay and I can just tell it’s gonna get messy :/ I actually really love how this chapter came out but whilst I have no problem with reading or writing non-explicit sex scenes I’m also like a would rather die than put that on tumblr dot com oops 

7: Kristen

we’ve skipped a week ahead to the day before semester starts, and the next three chapters are basically like a character study of where each of them are mentally. It’s not the best :/ This is also the point where Day 1 Of Camp me had literally no idea what I was doing. LCOMS is different from the way I pants Revelations, Revelations because with the latter I find it much easier to brainstorm scenes in my head but with this one, it really is a surprise until I open the doc. It’s created some really interesting moments though. 

Kristen visits an amateur photographer friend named Kasia to model for her. I struggled to find anything that included info I’m fine with sharing, but I learnt a LOT about Kristen and his mental state, which was surprising since he’s lived in my head rent free for 8 years now. It’s messy <3 The summary: he sees himself as a mannequin, and he decides that he likes it that way, but he also doesn’t know who’s moving his joints into poses. Bestie???

8: Junie

Junie unpacks her room a week after moving in. Autistic queen <3 This is one of the unfinished chapters, and I have zero motivation to finish it because there’s a scene missing and I cannot for the life of me figure out what it is. The gist of it though is she FaceTimes a friend from secondary school that definitely was her gay awakening that she only realised was her gay awakening in the last year. Messy <3 

9: Tomas

One of my favourite chapters. It’s split into two halves, a light-hearted moment of all three housemates at a superstore because <3 grocery store scenes my beloved <3 and then Tomas’ Everything Is Bad exploration at the end. There’s a moment in the first half where Tomas and Kristen have a heart to heart in the candle aisle, and Tomas asks Kristen where he thinks they’ll be in their thirties. I winged this in a sprint and I’m obsessed with it, it’s all about the ~dynamic~

“Well, he has student debt for one. But that’s not on him. That’s on the Tories. But I like to think they’ll be out of power by then. Boris might even be dead, if we’re lucky. But again, not on me.” He’s quiet again. You watch him think. “He’d be a music teacher probably, or an English teacher. But like, a cool one. He doesn’t teach secondary school because he doesn’t hate himself. Maybe a Sixth Form, or even better a Uni. His students would love him because he’d be able to take a joke and also like, not hound on them for having mental illnesses or life struggles?” Neither of you look at the aisles anymore, just circle the home section of Big Tesco. “He’d also do a lot of charity work. He has a foundation-charity-thing for queer and autistic kids to get accessible music lessons, because creative therapy is like, the best thing - besides Prozac but I digress - and it’d be better than the old white men from CAMHs who act like you don’t exist by your eighteenth birthday. And he’d have a cool little flat in Sheffield where the landlord lets him paint the walls so every room is a different colour. Turquoise kitchen. Magenta Living room. Lavender bedroom. Mint bathroom.” He looks at you like he forgot you were there. “You really let me ramble like that in the middle of Big Tesco, huh? That felt like a fucking therapy moment.” He laughs a little, like he’s nervous.

“Nah, it was a good answer. Maybe if Tomas-in-his-thirties doesn’t move back to the Netherlands, he’ll rent the apartment next to Kristen-in-his-thirties.” 

Kristen pouts. “Aw, you don’t wanna be my roomie anymore?” 

“No, you called me an animal for eating pineapple on pizza.” 

“Deserved. And you called me a malnourished ferret.”

You smile. “You’re not gonna let that down, are you?”

He smiles. “Of course not.”

Kristen tells Tomas he knows Something Happened to him over summer, and gets him to promise to tell him when he’s ready. The second half of the chapter takes place back at the house. Tomas is grieving, and it’s starting to creep into all elements of his thought. In this one specifically, he’s reminded of his top surgery and his memories in the hospital for that starts to blend with his memory of being in the hospital to grieve. Tomas is interesting as trans rep because like, he is trans rep curated for me specifically <3 Tomas was a huge comfort character for me when I was younger and when I realised I was trans, I looked at him and was like oh. He had a very smooth coming out and transitioning process (bc mine is the opposite and I need to project :) ), but right now he views his transness as like, a chapter of his life that was important but is now closed, so he doesn’t think about it a lot anymore, but the combo of grief and its mental impacts causes him to think about it more and he realises he has a very unhealthy internal relationship with his transness. Whilst the big idea at the start of Tomas’ arc is to show trans peace, I really wanted to take a moment to acknowledge the grieving process that comes with being trans. Literally the moment that made me realise “oh god, this is real and I can’t ignore it” was googling “im scared i might be trans” and realising how normal those tangled feelings are. Tomas’ experience of it is only fleeting, but I wanted to show that it’s normal. That being said, there’s no transphobia in this story. It is ultimately a Trans Peace story but also a trans story that, for me at least, is realistic. And the thoughts don’t last long, because his mind circles back to the grieving process. 

(CW: graphic surgery and hospital imagery, vomit mention, death)

[image description: a darkened picture of an empty hospital room. The only light comes in through the window through thin white curtains. In the middle, in a white serif font, reads “ Scalpel gliding across the chest; were the cuts they made as thin as the line between surgery and autopsy? “ /end id]

Picture this: The hospital room. Clinical lights like exit wounds in the ceiling. Everything hurts. Haven’t slept properly in weeks. Can barely eat without it coiling and tangling in your stomach only for nothing to come up when you heave over the toilet. Messy hair, sunken eye bags. Dull eyes. The hospital room. The hospital halls. The hospital waiting room. The hospital car park. The drive to the hospital. The sleepless night before the hospital visit. The locked in the armchair next to the phone waiting for the hospital to call. The silence shrills harsher than the phone’s ring. But ask yourself this: who’s in the bed? You or him? The memories are different but the same. Oil and water. Shouldn’t be mixed. But it’s hard not to. Picture the two of you on the operating table and on the metal slab. Too far from reality to feel skin slice. Scalpel gliding across the chest; were the cuts they made as thin as the line between surgery and autopsy?

There’s a lot of paragraphs in the story that start with Picture This:. I have no idea what it means, it just reads cool lmao

10: Junie

we skip around 3 weeks now to see how the kids are dealing with the start of semester and well. They’re managing! Junie actually has a good chapter here, because she experiences Baby’s First Queer Class Crush 

[image description: a purple sunset with a large pink cloud. In the middle, in a white serif font, reads  you notice her background is of a purple sunset. You wonder if purple is her favourite colour like you and if she took it and if she likes photography and if she’d take photos of you “ /end id]

You listen, touch type your notes without properly processing the words yet, but instead of studying the PowerPoint, you study her: how she tucks a strand of black hair - free from her messy bun - behind her ear. The three studs in her earlobe, three little gold stars. The way her eyebrows furrow when she’s confused, and the way her face relaxes when she figures it out. How she touch types like you, how her two brass bracelets  jangle and how you’re the only one that hears it. She minimises Word briefly, and you notice her background is of a purple sunset. You wonder if purple is her favourite colour like you and if she took it and if she likes photography and if she’d take photos of you. Lavender polo shirt, lavender perfume. She doesn’t wear make-up, but a tiny black heart sits under left eye.

Junie’s dreams of a photographer girlfriend are quickly shattered when she admits the photo’s from Pinterest, but otherwise this is so <3 the sapphic crisis of it all.

You walk out together, and she tells you she only got into Sheffield that weekend, and it was a nightmare to explain to the tutors why. “It’s like, they forget we have lives sometimes. Lives we can’t control.” She shakes her head. “It’s okay now though, I’m here now.” 

You almost trip on the stairs up to the main floor, and her hand is warm against your wrist. Your cheeks redden, but she just asks if you’re okay, smiles when you are. Tells you she’s late for a seminar, but it was lovely to meet you. Thanks again for the lecture notes. Calls you a lifesaver. Fades into the between-classes rush. You’re glad she’s here now.

again she is so <3 i get it babes i get it <3 

In other news, at the end of the chapter Kristen drops the most relatable line of the entire fucking book:

“You know how like, when it rains, all the worms come out and do a funky little dance? Yeah so basically: the rain is LIT3001 right. And the worms are all of my mental illnesses.”

11: Tomas

Tomas turns 21 on October 13th so naturally like anyone in his early 20s he has multiple crisis’ about it. I still haven’t figured this chapter ~out yet but it sure exists! It just sucks the same way it sucks to be a young adult in the late 2010s. But here’s Kristen being the most relatable character in the book again and getting bullied for it :/

(CW: alcohol)

"I still can't believe you both do a science. Like, it actually baffles me - I could not be more further from that." Kristen refills his glass, measures the vodka level with his index. "Just a babe and his silly little BA against the world." 

"You know if you wanna be a BA babe you have to actually, like, graduate."

12: Kristen

Kristen is personally like I will pretend my degree does not exist and honestly? I get it King. He visits his Dad, since he only lives 30 minutes away, but most of the chapter is him thinking about Tomas and their messy friendship and the fact that Tomas is kinda ghosting him despite literally living together :/ Anyway here’s Kristen’s cat :)

Mar snoozes on your pillow, half curled like a croissant. Orange fluff against grey sheets, and you’re not mad at the fur debris she’ll inevitably leave. Her head pops up when you sit next to her, “you forget about me yet?”. You scratch her head and it’s like you’re 12 again and you don’t have to worry about rent or degrees or masters applications or careers or groceries or housemates and you haze through Sundays snoozing in bed with your new kitten. Technically she was a birthday present, but dad couldn’t wait an extra month to adopt her. Said he saw it in her eyes at the shelter, that she belonged here. You named her Marmalade because you were a dumbass eleven year old and also thought marmalade was the shit back then. She stretches her legs and yawns. Plops her head back down, back to sleep. “Yeah, me too.”

13: Tomas

The next three chapters centre around each character’s Halloween, because <3 Halloween my beloved <3. Tomas’ starts off with him and Kristen being ~homoerotic and him being a ~disaster about it. 

w[image description: a photo of a blue planet - Neptune - against a black background. In the middle, in a white serif font, reads “You don’t know which palette he’s using, but you remember his favourite is space themed: Mars red, Neptune blue, Jupiter orange - you try to guess which planet he thinks looks best against olive. He taps the brush against the palette. Imagine the planets. How they dandelion in the air.” /end id]

When you sit in front of him, your knees press together. When he tilts your head up, thumb on chin, nail grazing the curve of your lip, his hand is ice on your skin. He studies your face, you close your eyes. When he pulls back, you swear you still feel his thumbprint on your skin. You don’t know which palette he’s using, but you remember his favourite is space themed: Mars red, Neptune blue, Jupiter orange - you try to guess which planet he thinks looks best against olive. He taps the brush against the palette. Imagine the planets. How they dandelion in the air. He holds your head in place, hand sprawls over you cheek like veins. Brushes colour into your eye socket. Underneath the radiator, your phone buzzes twice. Don’t say anything. Ignore your heartbeat.

(before this Tomas threw his phone at the radiator because someone texted him :) yeah okay mood :) )

this story is really about the ~gay disasters and also the ~dialogue 

You flop onto your bed, arms crossed over your face. “I dunno. I might just print off all the emails Uni's sent me about my dissertation. Staple them to a jacket and tell people I'm going as mental illness." 

"Tomas, if you want to go as mental illness then you don't need a costume at all."

Unfortunately the rest of the chapter is not as fun because plot had to happen but this first scene was :)

14: Junie

Junie is not a fan of Halloween so she gives up halfway through the night and invites the girl she met in her lecture over to bake cookies at 1am instead. Fellas is this gay?

(CW: alcohol)

The girl in the kitchen brought cookie cutters in pink Tupperware. She explains she’s had them since she was eight, but she hasn’t had a chance to use them this Autumn. She has seven: cat, butterfly, crescent moon, heart, three stars matryoshka’d together. “I have more, these are just my go to ones. I’m a bit of a collector.” She lines them up on the counter, you trace the outline of the cat. She says she didn’t want to bring too many, but she likes having the options with no plan, the potential. You want to tell her that, after you invited her over, you spritzed the counters with lavender surface cleaner twice and tucked the discarded vodka and raspberry liqueur bottles in the cabinet you can barely reach. You piled unfolded laundry into your closet and hid drooping plants behind your closed curtains when you had zero intention of her inviting her to your room. You want to ask her why she said yes, why she replied in two minutes at one in the morning, and you want to ask her why people feel the need to cookie cutter themselves into a false potential. She asks if you want to bake with coconut or chocolate chip.  

she is actually such a disaster around girls i love her so much

The girl in your kitchen clears up glass that isn’t hers. You drop the measuring jug and it fireworks against tile. No shards lodge in your skin. Whilst she cleans, insists that it’s okay, you brew peppermint tea because you insist it’s the least you can do. The girl tells you a story about how she did the exact same thing, when she was nine, and her mother shrieked so loud the neighbours banged at the door a minute later. She laughs, muted. You apologise again. She insists it’s okay again. Rain hardens against the window, looks like TV static. You breathe in the peppermint steam.

The biggest thing I’ve learnt since drafting is that, at it’s core, this is a love story. And that makes me so excited because so many people, especially in mainstream media, still think that autistic people are incapable of love - or even worse, undeserving. 

15: Kristen

Kristen’s favourite holiday is Halloween so naturally on his special day I had to make him go through it :) I can’t share a lot of this, but it feels right to end this beast of an update on this beast of an excerpt because it came to me out of absolutely nowhere and it is one of my favourite passages I’ve ever written OOPS

(CW: death, parental death)

[image description: a cluster of stars against a dark blue, almost black sky. In the middle, in a white serif font, reads “You want to ask your dad how something can end if for you it never began, but he’s asleep in his armchair back home. You look at the stars. You wonder if any of them are her.“ /end id]

You’ve mapped Sheffield’s streets since 13 so you know you’re walking the wrong way. This isn’t the way to Crookes. This isn’t the way out the city centre. You should order an Uber. You keep walking. You stop at a crossing. There’s no cars. You don’t cross. The traffic light flashes red and bleeds on your face. The stars are out tonight, and now it’s 2004 and you’re in the lounge with Lion King in the VHS. You’re off sick and your neighbour - Mel, recently retired, recently widowed - nurses a glass of brandy in your dad’s armchair because you don’t know it yet, but he can’t afford to miss work. You’re sprawled on the dusty-red rug when Simba and Mufasa sprawl in the grass and Mufasa tells Simba that all the stars are the Kings of the past and they are watching over him. You ask recently retired, recently widowed Mel if that’s true; her smile is happy but her eyes are sad and she says “yes, and not just Kings. Nobody leaves Earth, they just move to the stars.” 

Ten minutes later, Mufasa is flung off a gorge’s edge; you haven’t studied storytelling yet, but you understand those two moments are connected. And when you relay this to dad over ready made pasta that evening, you ask him if people really live in the stars: Sometimes, when they can’t live here anymore. Then you ask if they can come back from the stars: No, but people remember them. They’ll tell stories about them, so people don’t forget. Then you ask if memories and stories are like stars: A little. Then you ask why they can’t live here anymore: It’s hard to explain, Kris.

After dinner, he lets you play on the plastic slide in the garden as he scrubs the dishes. You climb to the top and try to see faces in the stars, but it’s too cloudy. And after that but before bedtime, you’re sprawled on the dusty-red rug again, and Lion King is in the VHS again, and as Simba and Nala are bathed by their mothers again, your five year old mind connects what’s different about you. You go to ask dad about it, but he’s asleep in his armchair. It’s 2018, you’re stood on a phantom street in Sheffield. You want to ask your dad how something can end if for you it never began, but he’s asleep in his armchair back home. You look at the stars. You wonder if any of them are her.

And I usually don’t do this, but I think the playlist for this wip is absolutely fucking elite, so here’s a handful of the songs that I think encapsulate the story the best:

The Wombats – Greek Tragedy

Duncan Laurence – Arcade

FKA Twigs – Two Weeks

Peach Pit – Alrighty Aphrodite

Khalid – Saturday Nights

Alfie Templeman – Stop Thinking (About Me)

Rina Sawayama – 10-20-40

If you read this far, then I love you and we shall have a platonic wedding this summer. But I cannot express how excited I am about this story and to see where it goes!

#atlastracking #LCOMS #writing update #amwriting #seriously though i have had the best week but also my brain? a fried egg #sfoidhfsdf even before the cut this post is long i hate it here #long post