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#idk its comfortable AND colorful what do u want

spectralan0maly · 6 months

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i wonder if people think part of my personality is hawaiian shirt

#not entirely WRONG #idk its comfortable AND colorful what do u want #but also i think jeans are comfortable #so

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eggluverz · 8 months

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STARS FADING BUT I LINGER ON, DEAR

PAIRING. dan heng x gn!reader; dan feng x gn!reader

CONTENT WARNINGS. torture and imprisonment but nothing graphic or in detail!!

WORD COUNT. 5,332

SUMMARY. dan heng has been having dreams about you. they started off good—like a fairytale even. but soon he’s been getting the feeling something is wrong. you’re trapped and alone and can’t escape. dan heng wonders if his dreams are telling him something. and if they are…what is there for him to do?

SOF’S NOTE. *shoves this fic in everyone’s face* LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT MY BABY!! PLS LOVE IT AND TREASURE IT!!! CRADLE IT GENTLE IN UR HANDS!!!! okay on a more serious note ahdjkdkd thank u anon for this amazing request i absolutely adored writing this 🥺🫶 idk where all the flower symbolism and dreams came from bc ik its not the in req but yk what it spoke to me for this story so i rolled w it HDJSKD i hope y’all enjoy!! :>

“What are all those flowers for?” you giggled, watching as Dan Feng entered the room with a cart full of peonies in tow.

It looked a little ridiculous; the elegant and renowned Imbibitor Lunae wheeling around an absurd amount of white, pink, and red flowers. But Dan Feng never cared about pretenses when he was with you. He always felt comfortable enough to be himself, no matter how ridiculous it appeared.

As he approached, he held a small, blooming red peony out between his fingertips. “They’re for you, naturally.”

He brushed your hair aside and gently tucked the stem of the flower behind your ear, admiring how the deep red of the flower complimented your complexion.

“Beautiful.”

You looked down at your feet with a small chuckle before meeting his gaze again. “Thank you. You’re beautiful as well.”

“Thank you, my love,” said Dan Feng, his hand resting on your waist as he planted a kiss on your forehead. “Do you like the flowers?”

You nodded, feeling the soft petals of the flower in your hair between your fingers as you stared at the bundles of peonies in the cart he brought in. Dan Feng walked over when he saw you staring and led you to each section of colors.

“These are pink—to show my affection for you.” He picked a flower and kissed the petals before bringing it to your mouth to reciprocate. You obliged with a giggle and he smiled and hid the scandalous flower in his sleeves. “These are white peonies, to let you know I’m always thinking of you.”

You placed your hand on his chest, feeling the careful embroidery on the silken fabrics. “You’re always on my mind, too.”

“Good,” he jested. “As I should be.”

Without warning, he brought your body flush against his chest and captured your mouth with his own, softly tugging at your lower lip. You chased after his touch to give him a kiss of your own, but he soon pulled away with a teasing grin on his face.

You pouted. “Hey!”

“Patience, beloved,” said Dan Feng. “I still haven’t gotten to the last color.”

“Oh, my sincere apologies,” you said sarcastically, knowing he was the very reason he hadn’t finished his own speech. “Please, carry on.”

“Since you asked nicely.” He cupped your face and stroked the petals on the flower behind your ear. The sensation of his light fingers brushing against the soft flower petals tickled the skin around your ear and you felt your breath catch in your throat. “This flower is a red peony, to symbolize just how passionate I am for you.” Dan Heng stared into your eyes before he spoke. “I hope you know how much I love you, truly.”

“I know,” you said, gaze not once meeting his. Your stomach tightened and your heart started beating faster as you placed his warm hand on your chest. “I love you, Dan Feng. Every part of my being is yours.”

“And mine, yours.”

Dan Feng took your hand in his, leading you into your bed chambers. You had never felt more loved and wanted than in this moment. But when you entered the room and looked up, the hand you were holding was no longer Dan Feng’s.

Instead, your hand was clutching an iron bar instead of your lover’s hand, shackled in chains on your wrists and ankles. Dan Feng was gone and you were stuck in here for eternity.

You cried out, body racking with helpless sobs. Every fiber of your being—mind, body, spirit—missed him so much. The worst part wasn’t the torture, the solitary confinement, the lack of access to basic human needs.

No, that was nothing.

Nothing compared to knowing you would never see Dan Feng again.

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

Dan Heng woke with a start, hair plastered to us forehead with sweat. His pillow and blanket were both strewn across the floor of the Archives and he found himself on his bed alone, a heavy pounding coming from the place where his heart should be. His heart hurt so much he wondered if it was even his.

He squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to take a deep breath to calm himself down.

That was the third time this week Dan Heng had a dream like that.

Before, it wasn’t terribly uncommon for him to dream about your experiences with his past reincarnation. Dan Heng thought it was strange at first— Why is he dreaming of your memories rather than Dan Feng’s? But the Archives had no answer, so he was forced to accept the fact with mild curiosity as he grew accustomed to the untraditional visions that manifested as dreams that he has been having.

Still, the strange part wasn’t that he had dreams of you, the strange part was that recently, since the Astral Express left Luofu, Dan Heng has been getting bad dreams of you. Or, to be precise, he’s been experiencing bad memories you have gone through.

Dan Heng thought the torture was the worst of it. As cold blades cut against your warm skin, Dan Heng felt each push. Each puncture. Each drop of blood they drew from your veins. He woke up constantly in pain, checking his own body to be sure it wasn’t happening to him.

But he learned a new form of torture that came from the heart. The solitude and loneliness. The knowledge that the one you loved most has perished— Was forced to reincarnate and never see you again.

The pain on his body was temporary. But Dan Heng felt the ache in your soul every minute of every day.

He just doubted there was anything he could do to stop it.

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

“Y/N,” came a quiet voice from outside the cell. “I came to check on you again.”

You looked up from your thin futon to meet Jing Yuan’s remorseful eyes. Your living conditions have been upgraded from those you’ve experienced for decades now. No longer were you in chains— You had access to a bath, and they even offered you books and enough food to sustain you. All while confined in a cell, of course.

Perhaps they no longer viewed you as a threat. Not that they should have ever viewed you as such in the first place. You didn’t understand why you were punished solely for being Dan Feng’s lover. You weren’t a warrior. You didn’t hold any position of power. You were a scholar and lover of books and plants. But you’re an accomplice, the Preceptors said as they mercilessly chained you up.

If you weren’t knocked into unconsciousness moments after, you would’ve spit at their faces as they took you away.

“Y/N…”

You snapped out of your thoughts, dragging your gaze to the man in front of your cell. Placing your book to the side, you smiled up at Jing Yuan. “Sorry about that. I was a little out of it there.”

Jing Yuan frowned and your heart moved, feeling the depth of his sadness. “No need to apologize. Tell me, how have you been?”

“Good, I have to say,” you said, sitting up straight on your bed. “I’m almost finished with the book you gave me last time.”

He smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m glad.”

“Is something the matter?” you asked as you stood and walked over to him, offering a hand of comfort through the iron bars.

Jing Yuan took it, giving you a gentle squeeze before dropped your hand. The rush of human contact, despite how brief it was, coursed through you. It’s been so long since you felt the touch of another person.

“Dan Heng and his friends left the Xianzhou Luofu,” he said solemnly.

Your eyes shut as you let your forehead press against the cool metal of your cell. A tear fell down your cheek but a smile remained on your face. “That’s… That is good. He should be free from this place. Dan Heng is happiest that way, correct?”

“That is how it seems,” Jing Yuan sighed. He held back his words for a moment, hesitant. But as he looked at you, he could not longer keep it in. “Do you still think it was the right decision to not inform Dan Heng that you are here?”

You let out a quiet laugh, taking a seat on the floor and Jing Yuan soon followed suit. “What would he do with that information? What if he felt guilty—? That could hold him back.”

“Are you certain that is a choice for you to make?”

Sighing, you shook your head. It wasn’t your choice to make; it was Dan Heng’s. You knew that deep down inside. But what could you do when you were aware of Dan Heng’s aversion to his past—to any potential connection to Dan Feng? And thus, any connection to you?

You felt it, you dreamed about it. Dan Heng’s hatred for his past reincarnation. You mourned for them. Both Dan Feng and Dan Heng. For the former, you knew it must be hard having no connection to your reincarnation. Was his soul no longer tethered to this world? Perhaps he felt lost, even in the afterlife. For the latter, you did not blame any resentment that came from him. You knew all too well that being judged and punished based off the actions of another person was unjust. You wouldn’t wish it upon anybody.

And so, it made sense to you that Dan Heng wanted to accept his past for what it was, and then be free from it. You did not want to interfere with that. Especially not when he was so close to healing and making a good, happy life for himself.

And now, after Jing Yuan told you Dan Heng and his friends finished their adventures in the Xianzhou Luofu, excited to take on the rest of the galaxies, you thought that maybe you made the right choice. You would be happy enough here, alone in this prison, if you knew your beloved was free.

It was a decision you made yourself, for Dan Heng.

And it was one you hoped you wouldn’t regret.

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

“Foolish! No!” Dan Heng thrashed in his sleep, wanting to reach out and shake you to your senses. He’s had terrible dream after terrible dream, but this was one he couldn’t simply let go of.

This one seemed more recent than any of the others. That was not a dream of a distant memory from long ago— No, the Astral Express that Jing Yuan spoke of in Dan Heng’s dream had only departed Xianzhou Luofu a few days ago now. That meant you were there, locked up right under his nose, for the entirety of his stay at the Luofu. And no one told him a thing.

Dan Heng had to control his fury. He felt hurt and betrayed, despite not having a true, personal connection with you himself. He wasn’t Dan Feng and, deep down, he recognized he didn’t have a claim to your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. But the pain he felt from knowing you were there, and that maybe, just maybe, he could’ve done something to help you sooner, was something Dan Heng couldn’t shake.

He knew what he had to do.

Perhaps it was bold, impulsive, and maybe dismissive of their current plans, but he had to do it. Dan Heng took a deep breath, not waiting for the night to turn into day. He was going to ask Pom-Pom to please turn this damn train around.

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

“Where are they?”

Much to no one’s surprise, Jing Yuan seemed to know exactly what Dan Heng was talking about. What else could be important enough for Dan Heng to barge into the Seat of Divine Foresight without a word of warning?

Jing Yuan quickly excused the meeting he was holding, biding a quick apology and saying they would reconvene shortly. Despite the newfound privacy, he still didn’t reveal anything to Dan Heng.

“Well, good afternoon to you as well, Dan Heng—”

“Stop. There’s no time for formalities right now.” Dan Heng folded his arms, hands clutched into tight fists by his sides. “Where are the Preceptors keeping them? And why the hell haven’t you done anything to help Y/N?”

With a heavy sigh, Jing Yuan took a seat in his chair, gesturing Dan Heng to sit across from him. A gesture Dan Heng pointedly ignored. He wasn’t here to sit down and take his time. He wanted to know where you were now so he could get you out of there. The torture, the poor treatment, the punishment for something you didn’t do... It wasn’t fair. He could hardly put up with it in his dreams. He wondered how it was possible for you to even be surviving all this time.

“It may surprise to you here,” Jing Yuan stated, voice low, “but as much influence I have over Xianzhou, the Preceptors unfortunately remain untouched by that.”

Dan Heng’s grip loosened, momentarily feeling guilty for assuming Jing Yuan did not try to help you in any way. From what his dreams could see, Jing Yuan was one of the only people who frequently visited you— Which was already more than he could say for himself.

His face hardened but he relented. “I’m sorry for suggesting such a thing.”

Jing Yuan gave him a half-smile through hooded eyes. “If you hold any recollection of Dan Feng’s time with them, I don’t blame you for having such a severe reaction. Y/N was—is…remarkable.”

“I shouldn’t know that myself,” said Dan Heng quietly. “Yet somehow, I know you’re right.”

He looked at the ground solemnly, suddenly frightened that he wouldn’t be able to do anything to help you after all. If the Cloud Knight General Jing Yuan couldn’t influence the Preceptors, what could he do?

He shook the negative thoughts out of his head. Sure, Dan Heng wasn’t Jing Yuan, but he was the reincarnation of Dan Feng, the previous High Elder and Imbibitor Lunae. Dan Heng was the friend and ally of current High Elder Bailu. Dan Heng had the General backing him with a token of alliance. And Dan Heng would stop at nothing to free you from your shackles.

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

The process was more painstaking than Dan Heng had originally thought. After informing Jing Yuan of his plan to speak to Bailu, Dan Heng soon realized that conversing with her would be the easiest part.

The Dragon Lady was kind and had a good heart. She cared for other people and didn’t want to see anyone in pain. The difficult part came from feeling the lack of respect the Preceptors had for her. They treated her as more of a child than a High Elder, even withholding her title of Imbibitor Lunae until they deemed she was “of age.” But Dan Heng thought she had more sense and knowledge than all of the Preceptors combined.

It took negotiations, possible acts of coercion that broke many Vidyadhara laws, and even the threat of Dan Heng to follow in his past life’s footsteps and destroy the seal at Scalegorge Waterscape and many more places… But Dan Heng, along with the assistance and backing of Bailu and Jing Yuan, finally got the Preceptors to agree to release you without forcing a reincarnation.

You had suffered decades for a crime you had no hand in committing. The Preceptors were simply scared your love for Dan Feng would influence you to be a main headpiece in carrying out the rebellion against the Xianzhou Luofu—hence why those in charge had originally agreed to keep you here. But Jing Yuan was the residing general now, and with his army at his side, he was able to voice that he no longer viewed imprisonment on this land to be befitting of you as a solid conclusion. Bailu stated, as a complete bluff that anyone could have seen right through, that if you were not released immediately and given the opportunity to be reconnected with Dan Heng, she would no longer be as willing to repair any seals, should they be harmed in the future.

Somehow, instead of all three of them getting locked up for treason or whatever Vidyadhara laws they horribly crossed, they managed to succeed in their goal of winning your freedom. The Preceptors wrote in their official records the release date of prisoner Y/N and agreed to escort one of them to your cell.

Jing Yuan and Bailu, of course, both opted for Dan Heng to be the person who sees you first. But only after making him promise they would get to see you once you settled into your new life.

Dan Heng smiled, thanking them for their part in this operation. And when night came, he spoke his vow to you under the endless stars.

He would see you soon. And this time, he would never let anything bad happen to you again.

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

“More peonies?” you asked with a laugh, staring in awe at the field of flowers that were newly planted on the grounds of your estate. The bright colors of the petals flushed against the dark green of the leaves lined the gardens of your grand quarters.

Dan Feng nodded, the trimmings on his sleeves detailed with the faint embroidery of petals dancing around the wind. Your heart warmed when you saw it. It was fitting for him, such a beautiful and caring soul.

“I had them planted for you,” he said, gesturing at the arrangement around you. He smiled, his eyes glinting. “Because one cartful just wasn’t enough.”

You shook your head as you went around the rows of peonies, touching the petals in awe of the spring bloom in the air. The smell was sweet and the wind was cool, providing the right amount of breeze to offset the heat of the sun. First, you went to the patch of white peonies, then pink, then red. Then, you noticed a shade Dan Feng hadn’t given to you before.

“Yellow peonies?” you said curiously, Dan Feng following along as you explored the gardens fit for royalty. Because, he had said before, to him, you were.

“Indeed.” He plucked one from the bush, careful not to ruin the stem of the plant itself. Slowly, he brought it up against the light in the sky. “Yellow. As radiant as the sun.”

You stared up, shading your eyes as to not get blinded by the brightness. “It shines almost as brightly as you.”

Dan Feng made a noise of amusement at your words. “I should be the one saying that to you.”

“Perhaps you should speak faster,” you teased.

You walked over to him, placing your hand in his and leading him to a field of grass. When you got to an area you liked, you sat down on the floor, gesturing for him to follow suit. Dan Feng brushed at the fabric of his clothes once before happily obliging. As you sat there, you looked over at Dan Feng and studied the look of serenity on his face. His expression was calm, his eyes were soft and the corners of his mouth tilted ever so slightly into a smile. In the hand that was not holding yours, he held the yellow peony still in hand.

“Does it symbolize anything? Like the others?”

He nodded. “Yellow peonies are rare to come by. Only the most renowned of breeders can craft one to the perfect shade.”

At his words, you looked back at the abundant row of yellow peonies dressing your land. You wondered how much effort he went through in searching for the perfect shade to gift you.

“They’re to symbolize my wishes for you,” stated Dan Feng, toying with the edge of a petal with his thumb. “I wish to bestow upon you luck and prosperity, for the rest of your life.”

“I think I’ve used all the luck I possibly could, finding someone like you,” you giggled, bumping your shoulder against his before leaning your head on it. Dan Feng breathed deeply, resting his head on top of yours. “And the only prosperity I wish for is to be prosperous in love. With you.”

He laughed, a deep rumble vibrating against your body. “So, all your wishes of luck and prosperity have already come true? What need was there for me to gift you these flowers, then?”

You held your palm out, waiting for Dan Feng to place the yellow peony at its center. He gently laid it there, letting his fingers linger against your skin.

“I’m glad you gifted me these,” you reassured him. “Now, when I walk by, they will always serve as a reminder of the radiant peony right in front of me.”

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

The next morning, Dan Heng entered the dark corridor with a flower tucked into a hidden pocket of his outer garments.

While he was nervous about how you might react to him going against your wishes that you expressed to Jing Yuan, his determination to assure your freedom was more than enough to counteract that. If Dan Heng truly wanted to be freed of his past and atone for the wrongdoings of Dan Feng, he would need to make sure no one else was being punished for his actions.

He had helped repair the Ambrosial Arbor’s seal at Scalegeorge Waterscape, to atone for Dan Feng’s acts against the current High Elder and all of the Luofu Vidyadhara. Now, he would release you from decades of unjust punishment you suffered simply for being associated with him.

“Y/N, you have a visitor,” one of the Preceptors said dryly, unlocking a cell. The hooded man could hardly hide the look of distaste on his face a before he rolled his eyes and walked away. “I’m sure you two must have plenty to catch up on. Leave here quickly before we change our minds.”

Dan Heng peered into the entrance, his gaze meeting your confused and alarmed face in an instant.

You looked between Dan Heng and the open cell, not a Preceptor in sight. “Is this a test?”

He shook his head, showing you the official pardon signed by Bailu, Jing Yuan, and a representative of the Preceptors. You held the document in your hands, reading its contents and feeling the seal to believe it’s legitimacy, before giving it back to him. He felt your hands tremble as you made brief contact with his and he was overcome with the urge to comfort you.

“This isn’t a test,” he promised, looking into your eyes in hopes you would see the truth in them. “You really are free from here.”

You let out an amused noise of disbelief, shaking your head. “Oh, Dan Heng… What did you do?”

He startled at the sound of his name coming from your lips. He was so accustomed to you only repeating Dan Feng over and over in his dreams that this felt almost refreshing.

“Rather, what did Jing Yuan do?” you corrected, laughing quietly as you stood up from your seated position. Your robes, once beautifully crafted, were worn and tattered. But the light in your eyes never waned. “I told him not to tell you.”

“He didn’t,” said Dan Heng. He considered his statement before adding, “I suppose eventually he did confirm it, but I was the one who confronted him about it.”

You raised a curious brow. “And how, pray tell, did you know about this…situation?”

“From my dreams.”

Your eyes widened in surprise. For once, you were speechless.

“I know it’s more normal to have dreams about your past reincarnation,” he stated, neatly folding the document in his hands before sliding it away into his pocket. “But, while I occasionally had dreams of Dan Feng’s life—bad ones normally, might I add—it’s been more common to have dreams of you.”

With a slow and shaky breath, you shut your eyes to think. “You’d had dreams of Dan Feng’s memories of me, do you mean?”

He shook his head. “No. They’re dreams of your memories. Some included your moments with Dan Feng from long ago, yes. Others were you in this prison. A recent one was of Jing Yuan visiting you and in it you said not to tell me about this.”

You chuckled helplessly. “What good did that do, after all?”

“Why didn’t you want me to know? Why didn’t you want me to help you?”

“It wasn’t that!” you protested, your eyes telling stories your words could not keep up with. You sighed. “Okay, it was.”

Dan Heng let out a sharp breath.

“However, it’s not for the reasons you might be thinking,” you corrected, arms folded over your chest. “I’ve come to accept my life being imprisoned here. It’s given me a lot of time to think and reflect. And, similar to you, I’ve occasionally had dreams of you, Dan Heng.”

He tilted his head to the side.

“They weren’t long nor were they frequent. But what I have gathered from them, scarce as they were, is you resent Dan Feng. You don’t want any ties to your past. And you’ve accomplished so much growth and closure, finally freeing yourself from all that burdened you. What good would it be to drag you back here and make you relive this?”

“You sound ridiculous.”

His words were harsh and it stopped you right in your tracks. You stared at him, eyes wide as they peered into his, but he couldn’t let that stop the words of logic from coming out of his mouth.

“You’re not a saint nor are you a martyr. You don’t have to try to be one. You’re a person, and for that you should be free in your own right. You’re a Vidyadhara, trapped and punished for actions that were not your own. I understand what you’ve been through— I’ve been there, too.” Dan Heng held his hand out to you from outside your prison cell, waiting for you to walk out and accept it. “Furthermore, you are a kind and loving soul, and you don’t deserve to spend a single moment in this place. Please, accept my help.”

Your cheeks were wet as you nodded your head. Slowly, you placed your cold, shaky hand in his. He felt your cool skin against his warm one and he enveloped your hands gently, brushing your knuckles with his thumb to share the heat in his body.

“I’ve wanted to get out of here so badly,” you admitted through silent tears. “I hated being confined and alone. I felt helpless. Pathetic.” He watched with a heavy heart as you wiped your own tears away. Could he reach out and do it for you instead? He chastised himself. As much as he wanted to, he had no right. “But you suffered so much in your past life—in this life even. I didn’t want to cause you any more pain.”

Dan Heng shook his head. “What brings me the most pain is knowing you were suffering for so long, and I didn’t help you.”

“How could you help when you didn’t know?” you reasoned with a sad smile. “I’m sorry for making Jing Yuan promise to never let you know.”

His eyes squeezed shut as a sharp pang ran through his heart. “Please. Please promise me you won’t do something like that again. If you need me, I want to be there for you. Always.”

You gaze widened at his words before you recollected yourself.

Dan Heng winced as he understood what he said. His mind and soul were confused. He knew he wasn’t Dan Feng, that this was the first moment he has ever had with you. But why does he feel like he’s known you forever?

After a few moments of silence, as if you were giving him time to amend what he said, you finally spoke. “Okay. I promise.”

He felt every muscle in his body relax at those words. He knew the promise you spoke was true to your heart. Dan Heng believed it with all his being and he let that console him.

“Thank you,” he breathed.

With one of your hands still in his, he slowly led you out of the corridor and up the stairs, away from your cold and dark prison.

“What are you going to do now that you’re free?” Dan Heng asked, hating himself for hoping your future plans would somehow include keeping in touch with him. “Will you…stay on the Luofu?”

Your body tensed as a shiver went down your spine. You shook your head fervently as your expression twisted into one of grief. Dan Heng’s heart stirred at the sight. He knew that feeling all too well, and it pained him knowing you had similar conflicts to go through. “No, that’s the last thing I want to do. I won’t stay here. At least not now.”

“I understand.”

You gave him a weak, but hopeful smile as he squeezed your hand softly.

“And you?” you wondered, looking at him with thoughtful and eyes as you awaited his response.

“I’m going to the Astral Express to continue on with our adventures,” he said with his lips upturned. “It’s a great place to call home, especially when you’ve lost the only place you had once called home.” He stared at you for a moment. “If you would like to join us—join me—I think you would very much enjoy it.”

You teared up at his offer. “Can you really just invite people like that?”

Dan Heng briefly thought of the girl they picked us as an icicle and the boy who they found with no knowledge of the past. He considered your situation. “Yes, we really can.”

The sunlight from outside finally started shining through the walkway, signaling that you were almost out as a freed person.

“Also,” he said, before he could forget, “I, myself, would want you to come join our crew, even if it’s only for a little while. You can stay for as long as you want, and leave whenever you want as well.”

Your ears perked up at that. “I like the sound of that. If the Astral Express will have me, then I would love to join.”

Dan Heng smiled as he patted the top of your head. Your body relaxed at his touch as you leaned into him, and he continued to hold onto you as you approached the exit. “No one will threaten your freedom ever again. That is my oath to you.”

You started at him, brows furrowed in determination. “And I vow the same to you. These new beginnings will bring only freedom and prosperity.”

At that word, Dan Heng suddenly remembered the small gift he brought for you. He blushed as he felt the soft petals of the peony in his large pocket.

“I have something for you,” he said, slowly stopping in his tracks. He turned towards you and you followed suit, tilting your head to the side in question. “It’s nothing big. But it’s a token. A reminder.”

He held out the peony in one hand, watching as your eyes lit up at the sight of it. Your mouth widened as you let out a noise of laughter, accepting his gift and holding it close to your chest.

“Thank you, Dan Heng,” you said, tears of happiness filling your eyes. “I love it.”

It wasn’t yellow— He wasn’t the bright and radiant Dan Feng you knew and loved. It wasn’t red or pink, even. While he felt traces of love and attraction for you from his past memories, he knew in his heart that wasn’t really him developing those feelings for you.

Instead, it was a white peony.

You were always in his thoughts. It was both a blank slate, and a gentle reminder. He would never forget you, and as he got to experience life with you, who knew what dashes of color would be mixed in next with this pearly white.

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moonstruckme · 2 months

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hi mae !!! i’ve been resding ur stuff for forever & if this request doesnt strike ur fancy i just wanted to at least say that!!! but i would love love love anything you have to say about steve harrington comforting his s/o (maybe shy!reader?? but no pressure on that) after a very tough emotional few weeks? like yknow those weeks that just knock you down & then stomp on you a little & have you saying “it’ll get better if i can just get through the week” but then the next week comes and it’s just as 🕳️🤸 as the last ? idk if this makes sense but ik u wanted more requests w our other boyfriends !!

Hi lovely, thank you for requesting!

Steve Harrington x shy!reader ♡ 791 words

You’ve been trying not to cry for about a month now, and this stupid movie is going to do you in. Steve’s got his arm splayed across the top of the couch, his features lit in the colors of the TV screen and revealing only a vague sympathy for the characters in the movie as opposed to the steady crescendo of emotion that’s building behind your eyes.

You turn from him so he won’t see your heating complexion and do your best to hold it in. You hold it until you can feel your heart beating in your sinuses. Steve’s fingers start toying with your hair, and it feels so ridiculously casual and tender that it only makes matters worse.

You must make some sort of sound, because then he’s shifting beside you. His eyes burn into the side of your head.

“Hey.” His voice is quiet, unsure. “You okay?”

You breathe in through your nose, swallowing hard. “Yeah.”

“Are you crying?”

“No,” you say. But you are now, properly, and your denial is completely undermined by the wobble in its delivery.

“You are,” Steve accuses, letting his hand drop onto your shoulder just as it gives its first great hitch. He tenses. “Hey, it’s okay. We can change the channel.”

You let loose a horrid laugh, wet and pitchy. “No,” you tell him, finally breaking and wiping underneath your eyes. “No, it’s fine. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to upset you.” He grabs the remote. His tone has gone serious and a bit panicky. “We’ll find something lighter to watch.”

“It’s not the movie.” You turn towards him and he pauses, frozen like a rabbit in the forest. “It’s just…it’s a lot of things, you know?”

Everything about Steve melts. His shoulder sag, the hand with the remote dropping into his lap, his lips part, he slouches towards you a bit, his eyebrows pull up and to the middle. “Yeah,” he says, soft and smooth as butter. “Yeah, I get that.”

You try to smile, making fun of your own ill-timed meltdown, but another sob breaks free from you again. Steve slumps further. If you keep going like this, you’ll shatter into a million pieces and he’ll liquefy into a stain on the couch and that’s all Robin will find of either of you when she inevitably comes looking.

“It’s okay.” Steve’s hand makes its way from his lap into yours, taking your hand and squeezing your fingers lightly. “You’re okay, you’re good.”

And you know you are, but it feels nice to hear him say it. Your shoulders shake, and you tilt your head downwards, salty tears dripping off your nose.

“Sorry,” you croak out, but he only brings his other hand to your face, angling you up where he can see you.

“I don’t mind,” he promises. When his thumb sweeps an arc from the side of your nose nearly to your ear, you shudder.

Steve’s brows twitch together, but he doesn’t alter his grip.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“No, what is it?”

“It’s just…” Just that you short-circuit anytime he touches you, and right now your body doesn’t know where to put the excess emotion. You think if he pays you any more attention you’ll have a heart attack. Cause of death: Steve Harrington’s tender ministrations. “Sorry, nothing.”

His forehead creases as his thumb brushes once more, feather light, under your eye, and then his expression clears. Because though intuitive Steve is not, he’s perceptive enough to catch your unintentional glance to where his hand rests upon your cheek.

“Oh, sorry.” He stills, eyes flickering back to yours. “Hey, if you want me to stop, I’ll stop. Just say the word.”

And you have to think, because it is torment, and it might actually kill you. But at least this way you’ll die happy.

“That’s okay,” you murmur. “It’s nice.”

A little smile curves Steve’s lips before he remembers you’re sad and tries to squash it. You feel something similar tugging at your mouth anyway.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks.

You sniffle. “I don’t think so. I’m just kind of tired of it, you know?” He looks like he does. “Maybe we could just keep watching the movie?”

“Yeah, sure honey.” The endearment slips out as if it’s something he says every day, and Steve’s demeanor doesn’t reflect anything different. For your part, you feel a buzzing in your chest so intense you wonder if you’ll disintegrate into tiny pieces. He scoots closer to you on the couch, settling an arm around your shoulders and leaning you into his side. “Let me know if it’s too much, okay?” he asks quietly, like it’s a secret.

You rest your head on his shoulder and say nothing.

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cumulo-stratus · 7 months

Text

BAU autism headcannons

(GIF NOT MINE)

(male reader)

CW: possible swearing, mentions of meltdowns and overstimulation, lemme know if theres anything else!

A/N: sry i havent rly posted in a while, i started a school recently and its been a rly big change for me so ive just been emotionally/mentally exhausted like all the time, but i dont wanna abandon u guys so i decided i would get something up, even if its not super good, thanks for y’all’s understanding <3

i think both JJ and Emily would become sort of mothers to reader

(not that they werent already mothers to the rest of the team but reader especially)

like JJ would totally have a motherly instinct for readers needs (like a sort of spider sense)

like if your ever nervous about something being too much or being overwhelming, jj would kinds know this and either make arrangements for accommodations or make sure you know you dont have to go if you want to.

and like she definitely wold put herself in charge of keeping your safe foods stashed on the jet and at the office

emily is more of a mother in a protective way than jj is

like this girl will not hesitate at all to go off on someone for maybe being disrespected to about stimming your chair while thinking

or like if you dont want to shake a police officers hand when your being introduced, and you get dirty/weird looks for it, or anyone comments on it? BOOM this girl will stare at them with so much animosity they’ll be scared of her shes so hot oml

anyways i thinks he team would be super accepting of you, especially if you joined after reid like they would already have some experience with autism

and like if you weren’t ent comfortable telling anyone other than hotch(i feel like it would be like a in ur file thing idk how the government works tho) spencer would defo be able to tell and confront u privately abt it (our respectful king <3)

and if you are comfortable telling the team, everyone would be respectful

i think like rossi/gideon would be a little clueless but like trying their hardest

like rossi would have no idea what stimming is but understands that like you move in certain ways or make certain noises when ur excited

and like with all his money he wouldnt hesitate to spoil u with any fidget toy u need/want or like a rly nice weighted blanket (its insane how expensive those things are)

and like gideon despite his profound understanding of others (hope yall got that ;)) he wouldn’ t get why sometimes you dont feel like/cant talk but totally respects it

omg garcia is our autism ally QUEEN im telling you

always has a big basket of fidgets/stim toys sitting on her desk and when your having a rough day shell leave you a little goodie in a brightly colored and decorated bag

i firmly believe that she is the queen at finding brands with clothes that not only fits your style perfectly but is also sensory friendly

i think she would definitely say that if she never ended up working in the FBI she wouldve started a clothing shop for sensory friendly clothing/accessories

spencer would totallllyyyy be your best friend when it comes to being under-stimulated

he will totally info dump on you and vice-versa

spencer (like penlope) would totally recommend clothing brands that are sensory friendly, but sock brands in particular

and everyone makes fun of you for nerding out over everything

also spencer would definitely get in the habit of grabbing your hands in his when you start to pick a t your nails and cuticles

like he didnt even realize what he was doing the first time but now he does it without thinking about it and for the team its normal

“hey,” and he would gently grab your hands to stop you from picking at them

“sorry..”

”youve nothing to be sorry for” (with that little reid smile oml rf[osifjgturhv)

and i also firmly believe that morgan is the best people to go to if your having a meltdown

he would stop you from harmfully stimming

“hey sugar, unclench those pretty little hands for me. there we go… good job kid.” he would have the softest smile and voice

and when he takes your hands to stop you from hitting yourself his grip is rly firm but gentle

but hotch is the best to go to for when your overstimulated

like he would make sure you know his office is always a quiet place you can go to with out questions

and he would secretly have a stash of like stimm toys in his office that he stole from garcia

his couch is always open to you, especially like late at night if you are really tired his fatherly instincts will kick in and force you to come to his office for a break

he would would hand you and blanket and a stim toy

”sit. sleep”

thats all he would say in his cute little stern but actually caring voice <3

#criminal minds #bau team #bau #spencer reid #emily prentiss #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #david rossi #penelope garcia #jennifer jereau #criminal minds x gn reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x masc! reader #criminal minds x fem!reader #headcannons #autism #autism headcannons #criminal minds x autistic reader

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tokio-motel · 8 months

Note

i wanna laugh and i wanna laugh rn😪

its been so long(literally a few days) since i sent smthhh

ill boost u bae dw

AHEM

mk so the whole band(um seperate fic duh) with a bf who be freakishly nice n shit(i feel like ivd sent this bf dont expose me if i did) like if a band member accidentally hit him in the face he would say sorry and say some dumb shit like "im so sorry i shouldn't have been in the way of your elbow. " like what💀💀

or if someone was trying to confess or smth he'd be like "i really don't want to hurt you but no." maybe even as a band memeber is right next to them

and arguments with this mf is probably hell like if it was a band members fault he would accidentally make them think it wasn't and it was his(sometimes its on purpose but they figure it out later) OFC these r examples use what u want🧍🏾

BAHSBDKDBDO I CANFT STOP LAUGHING ON THE FIRST ONE

THE BAND X EXTREMELY NICE READER

teehee i have an essay to write but ummmmm that doesn't matter rn 😇 uhh also if it's bad sorry idk what's going on with me

BILL:

・He's so confused how you can be nice all the time

・He really does try to be nice but he just snaps sometimes omg 💀

・He wonders when your breaking point is

・Like if he turns around carrying something and wacks your fucking face he's so confused why you're not YELLING at him

"Yeah and then- *WHACK* -OH SHIT M/N I'M SO SORRY ARE YOU OKAY?! -"

"No, no Bill I'm fine! It didn't hurt that much."

"..what."

・He just stares at you with his jaw dropped low, slowly nodding to himself

・Or like if he knocks something over and you apologize for it

(I've done that so many times...)

・Reassures you it's not your problem 🤞

TOM:

・nahh you got him FUCKED UP bae.

・He doesn't understand how you can be so nice, I feel like he's a brutally honest mf 💀

・If your in public and somebody is being rude to you and you're just kinda standing there, still staying calm???

・He's just looking at your features trying to find ONE small piece of anger or frustration

・I feel like y'all are couple opposites.

・Like he'd obviously have a soft spot for you 🤗 but he doesn't see the reason to be nice to others when he knows it's not his fault

・Arguments with him oh my god...

・If you keep apologizing and saying it's your fault he eventually sits next to you to comfort you, assuring you everything's okay.

"It's not your fault, M/N. I promise.."

・You'd somehow warm him up a bit, he barley notices himself becoming more kind and carefree.

GEORG:

・was his color green or blue omg i can't remember

・He's...so confused.

・Like if he accidentally smacks you with his elbow and you aren't crying or cursing

"M/N? M/N ARE YOU-"

"I'm okay! It just stung for a second haha..!"

"..."

・He gets you but he doesn't.

・He just can't see himself being so giddy and happy and nice.

・Anger turns into confusion in arguments, why are you so mad at yourself?

・Loves you so fucking much though, always reminding you that you are amazing and didn't do anything wrong.

GUSTAV

・AHHHH HE GETS YOU!!!!!

・He understands you so much oh my god, he just loves you even more now.

・He'd also try to keep you from blaming yourself.

・Like if he knocks something over and you apologize.

"Oh shit I'm sorry I should have moved it-"

"No honey you're fine, I should've looked where I was going.."

・MWA MWA HE LOVES YOU

・Very slightly confused on how you never snap, how you always keep calm

・He wishes he could be like you bae 💔💔

・In arguments he just tries to calm himself and you down, actually sitting down and talking about how you both feel

OH SHITTT I NEED TO DO THAT ESSAY

#tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel x male reader #tokio hotel x you #tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz #bill kaulitz x male reader #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz x you #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz x y/n #georg listing x male reader #georg listing #georg listing x reader #gustav schäfer x reader #gustav schäfer #gustav schäfer x male reader #gustav schafer x reader

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missmeinyourbones · 2 years

Note

hiii L ! i hope you’re doing well love!! i just wanna know details on how the aot!bf’s would hug you in ways that are very distinctive to them and just what makes them different <3 i know they’d give the best hugs :((

-🖇 anon

hi my love! this has been sitting in my inbox for weeks lol so i am very sorry for the delay <3 my brain wasnt working for a lil bit but i didnt want u thinking i forgot about you :) i also tried to find a reference pic for each one bc im not too good at explaining body positioning accurately :/ so in the photos ignore the peoples appearences (skin color, hair type, height, weight, etc) bc its just to reference the positioning :D

i see eren hugging in one very specific way....like regardless of your height, i see him always wrapping his arms around his s/o upper body ??? kinda like wrapping your head in his arms ??? LOL i think he likes to completely engulf you plus he also likes how your arms then have to wrap around his torso <3 lol

i think armin is probably the Classic Hug if that makes any sense lmfao i see him just wrapping his arms around your torso and completely burying his face into your neck. he doesnt even care how you hug him back (tho he secretly likes when u play w the tuffs of his hair by his neck) bc he just likes having u in his arms and feeling the warmth of ur skin against his :D sweet boy

jean loooooves a good hug from the back, whether he's giving or receiving. something about a lover sneaking up on their s/o, wrapping around their torso and resting their head on their shoulder is so sweet !!!! jean loves how comforting your weight on his back is, but i also think he really enjoys completely wrapping around you like a koala LOL he is very clingy ;(

idk if this really counts as a hug...but connie's favorite way to hold you is on his lap <3 because he wants to be as close to you as possible <3 he likes when you sit on his lap and kinda cling to him, wrap your legs around his torso and arms around his neck. he likes to draw circles on your thighs or scratch your back. this is my cuddly king

reiner likes to just ??? lay on you ??? lol like his favorite type of hugs is being hugged if that makes any sense at all. he kinda likes to just lay or stand there and nuzzle himself into your chest or neck while you hold him <3 hes simple and needs a hug every once in a while (every single day)

porco cant help himself from lifting you up every single time u hug lol....even if its just a little lift or if its a whole spin around dramatic production, he likes to feel strong :/ which is corny but whatever...he also likes carrying you in general whether its on his back, bridal style, over his shoulder, etc. big burly manly man who definitely doesnt wash his ass

#also hi new anon!!!#🖇 anon <3 #aot x reader #eren x reader #armin x reader #jean x reader #connie x reader #reiner x reader #porco x reader #aot headcanons #eren headcanons #armin headcanons #jean headcanons #connie headcanons #reiner headcanons #porco headcanons

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silence-between-seconds · 1 month

Note

14 17 22 24 26

(it took me way too long to arrange all of them in groups of five lol)

(also I’m waiting until you answer to send the next ones just so you know)

14 What are you going to spend money on next? prolly painting materials. cuz i ran out i only have two brushes somehow idk what happened and my white paint straight up dipped

17 Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? my best friend also @daydream-of-a-wallflower

22 Would you ever want to swim with sharks? HELL YES ITS ON MY BUCKET LIST but id like to do it with someone i love, not alone

24 What do you want right this second? my mother woke me up from my nap. i vant to sleep (i always do tho)

26 Is your current hair color your natural hair color? yes, i don't want to die my hair tbh

(aw i appreciate u wanting to know me sm)

#asks #skiri<3 #make me admit stuff #ask siri #my moots #lovely people

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psychewritesbs · 1 year

Note

I wonder how much about being a jujutsu sorcerer megumi had to juggle on his own while having a sister who doesn't seem to be as involved and having gojo as a "mentor" (I use that very loosely lol) I mostly mean this for megumi's mental and emotional state. I don't think he actually talked about how rough being a sorcerer is and just moved forward by building a very personal set of morals. He thinks so lowly of himself in terms of ability, so it makes me think he had a hard time adjusting to the idea that he would one day have to become a sorcerer that could actually make a difference or maybe knowing he was going to be sold influenced this thinking too. I always thought it was sad how a child had to choose becoming a sorcerer in exchange to receive funds for he and sister and offset being sold to the zenins. This may sound like I'm trying to make him seem more tragic, but I imagine he and tsumiki had pretty harsh lives despite not living dirt poor anymore. I just want to pick at his brain to be more honest so this is just a huge word vomit with some level of coherent thought but idk anymore

Just let me inside his head gege please !

HOLA! Thank you sooo much for sharing your Megumi brain rot! This is amazing aaaand it was indeed coherent.

So many details to unpack for conversation’s sake...

THE MEGUMI BRAINROT BELOW THE CUT:

“I don't think he actually talked about how rough being a sorcerer is and just moved forward by building a very personal set of morals”:

Oh I love this so much!

Megumi’s morality is something very interesting to me. And the way you’ve framed the whole thing makes so much sense.

“A very personal set of morals” is defo something that characterizes him.

I personally see Megumi’s moral compass as very self-serving. What I love about it is that he saves people unequally, and I get the feeling its because he gets emotionally attached to people and is unwilling/unable to let them go.

“He thinks so lowly of himself in terms of ability, so it makes me think he had a hard time adjusting to the idea that he would one day have to become a sorcerer that could actually make a difference”:

Personally, this is one of the things I find so relatable about him.

Megumi has massive impostor syndrome and even though he’s so naturally talented (Grade 2 Sorcerer at 15), and even though everyone and their Jujutsu-mom acknowledges and speaks highly of his skill and ability, Megumi is the only one who can't see it. All he can see is “I’ve got this trump card that I can use to win, I’ll die, but at least I’ll win.”

The thing about impostor syndrome is that it is insidious. God, it’s awful to be so naturally talented at something that you don’t even know you’re talented. Spoken from personal experience, when you have impostor syndrome you have this mentality that everyone can do what you’re uniquely capable of doing, that your abilities are not in any way, shape or form special.

So Impostor Syndrome kind of makes you second-guess yourself, it colors your perception of what is possible for you because you don’t know what you don’t know--in Megumi’s case, even knowing that one of the Zenin ancestors took down an ancestor for the Gojo clan must have been a big surprise.

I’ll talk more about how Megumi’s mindset could be the result of his history of childhood trauma and neglect later.

And that’s why, in all honesty, seeing his arc unravel is one of my favorite #things ever.

If you’ve been reading my Megumi brain-rots, then you already know that seeing Megumi become someone who challenged his own sense of self is something I love. But above all, I love how along the way he also learned to value himself and his life.

Not sure how much canon truth there is to this idea, but the way I interpret this change in him is that I feel like when Megumi realized he could accomplish more than he thought was possible, he gained the confidence to value himself and his abilities so that he could fulfill his desire to protect “good people”. After all, he can’t protect “good people” if he’s dead.

It’s almost like part of his arc has been about him learning to be comfortable with using his very unique abilities to, as you say, “actually make a difference” as a sorcerer.

So I totally love what you’ve said about how his old sense of self was uncomfortable with the idea of being a hero, someone who “actually makes a difference”. After all, in his mind, how can he make a difference if he doesn’t see the value that he can bring to the table?

We already know Megumi plays small and self-sabotages since he thinks so low of his ability. It’s also like on a subconscious level he can’t handle the pressure of having to “become a sorcerer that could actually make a difference.”

Again, Megumi is so gifted. He’s literally blessed with the family jewel (the 10 Shadows Cursed Technique), but he’s literally limited only by his sense of self. It takes him a whole 60something chapters to realize he can and should make a difference.

Ah, not sure how much of this is head canon but, as you say in your ask: Just let me inside his head gege please !

“Maybe knowing he was going to be sold influenced this thinking too...”

Yeah, totally.

Psychologically-speaking, a child of the same age when Megumi was abandoned tends to internalize what happens to them as it being their fault.

Imagine mom abandoned you, so did dad, and now even the other woman who was supposed to take care of you left too. It is likely for a child to internalize this abandonment as something that happened to them because they are not lovable or lovable enough.

To go back to the idea of how his childhood trauma affected him, the way Megumi is written is that his sense of self reflects the unconscious limiting belief that he is not “worth much” as a person.

And come to think of it, it makes me wonder whether Megumi’s resentment towards Toji comes from him being resentful of how he felt unimportant and unlovable enough for his own father to stick around.

When Gojo shows up at his door, Megumi also demonstrated that he had an understanding of how money works, so by learning he had been sold to the Zenin clan, Megumi probably internalized the idea that he’s a burden to others that isn’t “worth much”.

Boy, little does he know.

The point is that when you grow up with a limiting belief revolving around your sense of self worth, it typically translates into the kind of behavior that Megumi exhibits--that undervaluing of himself which translates into how he plays small, won’t ask for help from others, and is so easily able to throw away his life because he thinks the best he can do when in a pinch is to summon this monster he thinks he can’t control just because no one before him has been to do it.

Megumi is also a character who had to “grow up” too soon to be able to navigate a world he was not psychoemotionally prepared to deal with. I mean... he was 6? 7? Gege messed up on the timeline, but it’s safe to say Megumi was a school-aged child at the time he was abandoned by Tsumiki’s mother.

When you’re a school aged child, parental figures are supposed to provide the best possible conditions for a child to thrive in so that they can have what is considered proper psychoemotional development. If you think about it, Megumi didn’t have that opportunity to be a child.

And I have to say there’s something so beautiful about Megumi’s childish innocence when it comes to having to make the choice to become a sorcerer to protect Tsumiki.

It’s almost like, despite having to grow up too soon, his child-like innocence comes through in how confident he is in taking on the burden to become a sorcerer because of what it will mean.

Almost like he had this unfounded over-confidence that he could take on the world if it came down to it...

“...This may sound like I'm trying to make him seem more tragic...”

Not at all.

I wouldn’t say you’re making it seem more tragic than it is at all. Quite the opposite, I’d say Megumi’s backstory is meant to be tragic af. You’re spot on thinking about how sad his circumstances as a child were and how these circumstances affected and shaped his mindset as a person.

And in my opinion, what elevates the tragedy even more, is the idea that (I headcanon) Megumi is resentful and feels hurt about being abandoned by his father, but is unaware that he was actually beloved--probably even considered a blessing to the ones who named him.

If you think about it, Megumi’s circumstances are the result of a cruel and tragic fate--events and circumstances outside of his control.

Despite his gender, he was given the name that represents the concept for “blessing” even though it is a kanji normally used for female names--so I like to assume that he was the much expected and much beloved child to a couple that might have been very much in love. ✓ fate.

Mom got sick and died? ✓ fate.

Dad (who is also known as someone who broke fate) being at the right place at the right time, which ultimately led to his death? ✓ fate.

Gojo being at the right place at the right time to learn about Toji’s kid, the kid who inherited the Zenin clan’s most prized Cursed Technique? ✓ fate.

While we don’t know what happened to Tsumiki’s mom, I’m going to go ahead and chalk off her disappearance to ✓ fate since it was outside of Megumi’s ability to exercise his free will.

Aaaaaall that to say that I had honestly not thought about it, but I have to say I totally agree that Megumi probably didn’t have the most idyllic childhood even after Gojo took him in.

Megumi basically grew up knowing he was indebted to someone else (✓ fate). I want to think that one of the reasons why he grew up to be such a cranky teenager who was always getting into trouble was precisely because fighting was how Megumi could exercise his free will in a world where the odds had been staked against him.

But, more importantly, in my opinion, one of Megumi’s themes as a character is overcoming fate--especially your self-fulfilling prophesies.

What I love about how Gege wrote Megumi is that Megumi isn’t defined by the tragedy of his life.

Megumi isn’t on a revenge plot to get back at anyone, he doesn’t go around moping and bemoaning his fate (like Charlie Bernard from the Culling Game does), and his motivations are not grandiose--he just has a duty to fulfill because he basically sold himself for future labor so that he could protect Tsumiki.

In my Professional Anime Psychology Nerd opinion, I have to say Megumi’s character is so well-written. I also see him as a character-study on how unconscious trauma affects, directs and defines mindset in ways we are unable to understand because we take our reality for granted.

In a nutshell, emotional trauma distorts and shapes our sense of self.

Bringing to consciousness the unconscious stories tangled up in the emotional trauma we’ve experienced is the work of a lifetime--individuation.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record... this is what captivates me so much about Megumi.

The fact that Megumi broke through his own mental barriers in such a dramatic way is something I aspire to do for myself.

He inspires me.

So there you go.

Megumi word vomit lol.

Ok but listen. I LOVE brain rotting about Megumi and I totally just went on a ramble--I hope I was able to sort of have a conversation about him as I do tend to go on tangents. Thank you for reading lol.

But in all honesty, above all, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I love sharing my love for anime with others so I am grateful you stopped by to share the Megumi love.

Same for anyone who reads the #Weekly Mental Gymnastics.

Much Megumi-love!

#fushiguro megumi lovers unite #ask the mental gymnastics anime girl

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ye-local-simp · 1 year

Note

Hellooo~ I saw u doing matchups so I thought I'd participate in this event as well! At first I wanted to wait with my request because my birthday is actually on the 5th of March, but that's when the event ends- SO HERE I AM :D I'd like to have a romantic matchup with a twst boi pls. Btw, please excuse my awkward communication skills lol

Thank youuu in advance if u accept my request.

(General stuff)

My name is Yade/Jade (the way its written changes in literally every country- not me sobbing in confusion rn), I'm female, use she/her pronouns and … I am weird. 160cm tall, (i have no frickin idea what that is in feet- I am European lol I think it's 5'2 tho), my parents are from west asia (turkey) but I was born in Austria. (Btw, idk if dis is important but zodiac is pisces and mbti is infp/intp. Its weird)

Appeareance:

I have a diamond shaped head with sharp facial features, my dark brown hair goes down to my neck but I always tie 'em up in a messy bun so that my shorter hair strands at the front can do their own thing xD Body type is hourglass and my clothing style is pretty casual held in pale/light colors.

Personality~

-Very accepting, polite and respectful. I value these three traits a lot as they are the foundation of relationships in my opinion.

- Intelligent and wise, if I do say so myself. I have gone through quite a lot of stuff so I'd say I am more mature than others my age.

-My humor is broken af but my fam and friends tell me Im funny so I'll just go with that HAHA

- Calm and Resilient. Even tho my writing style is quite chaotic and seemes energetic I am NOTHING like that in rl. I'm pretty laid-back and calm. Not shy or timid. I just like to relax xD I am pretty resilient as well- not easy to break mentally or physically.

-I tend to get defensive extremely fast and without even realizing it. Sometimes I am ignorant, other times I am stubborn. (Lazy as well but we don't talk about that HAHA)

Hobbies/Interests/Likes/Dislikes

Gardening (Nature in general), reading, listening to music (very important- my earphones are my bebes) and designing/decorating. I am also very interested in languages. I can speak 6 rn and hope to speak a lot more in the future!

Ideal date/lover~

-Okay, so first of all- I am very inexperienced when it comes to romantic relationships. The only thing I am good at is rejecting ppl LOL

-Anyways- An ideal date for me would probably be something simple and not overly extravagant. A simple picnic, a library date or just staying at home cuddling together and watching some movies. If you couldn't already tell my love language is quality time so as long as I get to spend time with them I'm happy!

-Now onto the ideal lover… the thing is, I don't really have a type. I don't care about appearance, the only thing I care about is that my partner is somebody who I can trust and feel comfortable with. Communication is also very important so maybe somebody who knows how to handle any kind of situation. I am a task-oriented person so my partner should be confident in what he does.

- Other then that I am just happy when I have somebody in my arms when I fall asleep <3

Sorry if this was too long.. i think i overdid it :,)) IM SORRY (OMG 600 WORDS- MY BAD)

You are matched with...

Riddle!!

-He will throw small teaparties for you two to enjoy, have walks around the garden and take you to see the hedgehogs

-Whatever it is , his dates with your are always unique and cute.

-Riddle believes that if you make a commitment, you should always stay true to it, including you relationship.

-He handles every situation even though most of the time he flies into rage for you.

-But at least, the work is done

#twst #twst x reader #twst matchup #twst matchups #twisted wonderland matchups #twisted wonderland matchup #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland fluff #twst scenarios #twst fluff #twst headcanons

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hanniluvi · 1 year

Text

GET TO KNOW ME — 🤍

— tysm for the tag bff @hannikz <3

tagging . . (no pressure; sorry for the tag/if you were tagged already!) : @wonieleles @urszn @son4taa @wonillaa @wonyoungsvirus @ox1-lovesick @yenqa

BIRTHDAY? — october 27 🫶

FAV COLOR? — green!! i love those lighter greens,, they are so pleasing to look at

ANY PETS? — no </3 had a fish but it eventually got flushed down the toilet 😞💔

HEIGHT? — 160 cm 😵 or like 5’3… the short person agenda lives on 🙏

HOW MANY PAIRS OF SHOES DO YOU OWN? — oddly specific question but okay 😇 i say about 5-8 pairs?? idk i get new ones yearly but i always wear these two certain pairs LMFAO

FAV SONG? — sweet by tbz. its too good. (and yk its good when someone me has over 3k plays on it). tbz always puts out bops—just saying .

FAV MOVIE? — over the moon! i find the movie pretty cute ngl,, comfort movie frfr

IDEAL PARTNER? — jay. park jongseong.

DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? — bff how can i have children when i can’t even take care of myself.. plus younger kids kind of #scare me !

HAVE YOU GOTTEN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW? — im a minor who stays in their room like always. i have not 🙏 and whoever says yes to this part,, im concerned bff

WHAT COLOR SOCKS ARE YOU WEARING? — bold to assume im wearing socks. (JP JP) im wearing black socks rn cause im out 😵 rarely wear them indoors unless im at someone else’s house

FAV MUSIC GENRE? — r&b??? idk i rly like anything… anything catchy or sounds good, im adding it to my playlist ..

HOW MANY PILLOWS DO YOU SLEEP WITH? — one pillow for my head 🙏 i js have a plush next to me too 🫶

WHAT POSITION DO YOU SLEEP IN? — on my sides ALWAYS!! sometimes on my stomach tho cause it’s comfortable!!

SMTH U HATE WHEN SLEEPING? — when it’s too cold 😞 i like being warm but not THAT warm if ykyk.

BREAKFAST? — not a breakfast person.. i always feel not hungry/feel like im abt to 😵 if i eat smth.. i should change that tho </3 but whenever i do eat,, i eat like cereal, bread, or anything my mom cooks for me <3

HAVE U TRIED ARCHERY? — do those cheap plastic ones count 😓 (i suck btw)

FAV FRUIT? — cantaloupe HANDS DOWN. like esp those rly rly sweet ones, those r literally the best. runner ups would be strawberries n mangoes <3

ARE U A GOOD LIAR? — i mean…idk?

CURIOUS ABT MBTI? — tried a test multiple times, always got infp 🙏 i say its true too, all the stuff fits me LMFAO

INNIE OR OUTIE? — def prefer to stay indoors, but it doesn’t hurt to go outside once in a while

LEFTY OR RIGHTY? — righty ‼️

FAV FOOD? — sushi 🙏 it’s too good

FAV FOREIGN FOOD? — tteokbokki (is that how u spell it?)

CLEAN OR MESSY? — i prefer being a clean person; i hate being unorganized and messy… but really, it depends on my mood.

MOST USED PHRASE? — um what?

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR U TO GET READY? — i don’t think it takes me too long? like give me 10-15 mins and im already out the door ..

DO U TALK TO URSELF? — who doesn’t?

DO U SING TO URSELF? — the effects of music

ARE U A GOOD SINGER? — im the ace of saf ofc !!! 😝 (JP. JP.)

BIGGEST FEAR? — what happens after death ..

ARE U A GOSSIP? — whenever there’s smth new,, the first thing im telling the info to is my friends 🙏 who doesn’t love doing that??

DO U LIKE SHORT OR LONG HAIR? — i have beef with short hair now.. like my haircuts in the past screwed me up fr. THEY DID ME DIRTY. so long hair (but not too long).

FAV SCHOOL SUBJECT? — science 🤞

EXTROVERT OR INTROVERT? — definitely an introvert..

WHAT MAKES U NERVOUS? — fear of ppl constantly looking down/making fun of me 😞

WHO WAS UR FIRST REAL CRUSH? — dude some kid from 1st to like 5th grade… like i think i started “liking” him in 2nd but feelings started fading away once we kept moving onto grades ! this other dude would be like “bro ure blushing” and the guy i liked would go “whats blushing?” BRO WAS STUPID,, but my stupid guy back then ig 😓😓😓 younger me was wild

HOW MANY PIERCINGS? — two (one on both ears)

HOW MANY TATTOOS? — none !

HOW FAST CAN U RUN? — i say im pretty decent with my speed 🙏 watch me cough out a lung if i try too hard tho.

WHAT COLOR IS UR HAIR? — dark brown 🙏 natural hair 😇

WHAT COLOR ARE UR EYES? — brown!

WHAT MAKES U ANGRY? — hate it when people refuse to cooperate… like im being nice here and you’re being a straight up asshole. i hate it when i try to make up for smth ppl are like “hm” “yea” and don’t respond .. like js bc i said no the first time doesn’t mean u can be like that .. in conclusion : i get irritated at everything.. sometimes?

DO U LIKE UR NAME? — my name is cool 👍 don’t have issues with it at all

WOULD U WANT A GIRL OR A BOY IF U HAD A CHILD? — probably a girl, i feel like i wouldn’t be able to handle a boy. i wanna js have mother daughter bonding time 🙏

WHAT ARE UR STRENGTHS? — staying calm in situations / being convincing (idk) BRO IDK IM PROBABLY LYING TO MYSELF 😭

WHAT ARE UR WEAKNESSES? — being too nice to others .. like i would try to stick w my current friends and try not to hurt their feelings (prioritize them over me). since my social battery kinda runs out most of the time,, me feeling down is 🤕

WHAT COLOR IS UR BED SPREAD? — currently its like a white sheet with pink, yellow n green patterning (lines)

WHAT COLOR IS UR BEDROOM? — white ! not a big fan of colored walls…plus white goes with everything 🙏

done ! that took…a while.. but 🫶

#🐼 — games !

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tvrningon · 8 months

Note

[towel] - Sender catches receiver in nothing but a towel. // for chiyo bc listen... i have this idea like what if chiyo would sleep over at the their (niko, rayo & gaia) place & gaia is like 'u want breakfast' and catches her IDK i thought it would be kinda cute <3

seggsual tension | @vonerde catches chiyo in a towel!

water slows to a trickle and ceases completely as chiyo reaches for her towel, pressing her face into the fluffy material and sighing heavily. it's so warm and comfortable here, standing in the heat trapped within the bathroom. it's nearly enough to lull her back to sleep... at least, it feels that way until the water dripping from the ends of her hair turns cold.

the shiver that works its way up her spine has her scowling as chiyo pats off her body and wraps herself in her towel. the quicker she gets her clothes on, the quicker she can throw her hair in the towel and get warm. glasses perched on her nose and already fogging up, she steps out of the shower and moves over to the counter where her clothes are.

correction: where her clothes should be.

berating herself all the way to gaia's room where she'd left her clothes ( of course she did, as sleepy as she was ), chiyo's glad that at least she manages to dodge her friends' eyesight. it isn't as if they'd see anything, but still. to be caught in nothing but a towel would be embarrassing. she can faintly hear their voices in the kitchen, smells the coffee and food, and slips into gaia's room knowing she's home free.

correction: thinking she's home free.

not too long after she makes it inside, the door opens behind her to reveal the pretty figure of her friend. chiyo freezes as she makes eye contact with gaia, feeling her face grow hot. while the towel is still securely wrapped around her, she feels like she's showing too much, and--- and it occurs to her that it shouldn't feel that way because it hasn't in the past. she's done this before, having to traipse back to gaia's room for forgotten clothes and arriving to see the goddess lounging in her room. she's even grabbed chiyo's clothes for her when she didn't want to risk being seen by niko or rayo. this isn't so out of the ordinary.

so why's her heart beating so fast?

" do you want some breakfast? " gaia asks, knocking chiyo out of her thoughts.

" sure! " her voice is nearly a squeak ( oh, if only the floor would swallow her up ). chiyo feels a drop of water slide along her jaw and to her chin; again, a chill works up her spine, and she's able to speak with a less mouse-like tone as she looks away from gaia. chiyo turns as if busying herself with her clothes. " i'll be out there in a minute. save some coffee for me? "

she's promised coffee, and as the door shuts, chiyo sinks into a crouch and buries her face in her hands. she can feel the blush burning her palms, which only makes it worse. she might be a half-decent actress, but there's no way gaia didn't notice the cherry red hue coloring her face. quietly, the mangaka whines. she shouldn't be reacting like this. gaia is her friend. just like niko and rayo. just... they're all just friends ( it's true. she keeps repeating it not to convince herself but because it's true ).

" what's gotten into me? "

#vonerde #interactions | chiyoko #i wanna know what's running through gaia's mind while chiyo's all flustered :' ))#and this was such a cute prompt!! and perfect to incorporate just a lil bit of inner turmoil hehe #also i was thinking that sometimes chiyo sleeps in gaia's room? and i mean she'd sleep in rayo and niko's rooms too if they wanted #but if you also think they'd keep her on the couch just ignore that lil detail asdf #but also consider: everyone sleeping in the living room in a big ol' pile of pillows and blankets bc that would be really cute :' )))

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trixabke · 2 years

Text

req from: @local-problem

She/her - bisexual, Birthday: November 27, 2003, Sagittarius, Height: 1.83 m / 6 ft, Hair: light brown, curls with lots of volume and quite long, Eye color: blue-grey, Personality: ENFJ, I'm fairly athletic, doing track, volleyball and dancing. Work: I work in a bubble tea shop, give swimming lessons to small children and tutor (maths). When I have time, I like to draw and read. I love my grandma, manga, anime, sports, my friends, alpaca stuffed animals, coffee and black tea

HELLO, I RLLY HOPE U LIKE THIS! i’m assuming you meant a romantic match up! if not oops lol thank u for sending this! it rlly helped me w motivation! also sorry if this is a bit long :) SIDE NOTE ITS RLLY COOL THAT UR SO TALL

just because idk if its a touchy subject for u!)

(also i feel like i keep matching ppl w more mainstream characters but like, ITS RHE VIEB I GET OK???) 😭

(rom) i match you with…..

SUGAWARA

ok ok u def met when u were working

he came in w daici and kiyoko to talk abt some important stuff n when they walked in he was like “woah 😨”

thinks ur so attractive

then he orders and leaves!! yay how eventful

BUT THEN

he always suggests to go to that boba place

are the drinks good? yes. are they as good as seeing you? no.

probably starts with very very minimal conversations, maybe MAYBE small talk or an occasional joke from him

he becomes a regular, and he most likely orders the same thing every time

one day hinata comes in w him daichi and kiyoko

AND HINATAS FREAKING ABOUT BECAUSE HE SAW U THE OTHER DAY

turns out u tutor his little sister although he probably needs it more

and kiyoko tells hinata abt the crush she noticed suga had

AND WHEN I TELL U HINATA SCREAMED

later that night he was talking to (brokuto) bokuto abt it and then a lightbulb goes off

hinata is suddenly busy the day he needs to pick his sister up from tutoring and oh no hes always busy now and suga is the only one free?? oh well i guess he has to pick her up and see you

he thinks he so smart

and he is in this scenario at least

but did his set up work?? yes

when he shows up

ur like?? and he is like???

but u end up talking, n found out u have a lot in common

he finally leaves once and only once natsu is tugging and pulling at sugas sleeve with the biggest pout on her face

hinata?? busy?? again?? cant pick up sister! oh well suga has to get her now!!

this time, he left w ur number

very friends to lovers story then plays out

bookstore hangouts very often

mini little old lady clubs where u recommend stuff you found and he recommends stuff you stuff he found

then he sends you very long thought out reviews on whatever you give him

DEFINITELY CONFESSES BY ACCIDENT

its either 1. if u guys r arguing he will just accidentally be like “because i like you” or something dumb, 2. says it in the evning when u guys r sitting outside and he thinks you look so pretty under the glow of the setting sun, he just mutters it under his breath (or so he thought)

and ur just like “what?” but yk its mutual

he def wont get into an actual relationship with you until he has properly taken you out on a date that he deems successful

a lot of picnics, maybe hiking if u want to, late night fast food runs w rlly blurry pictures

he loves how trustworthy you are

also i def think he loves ur hair

the volume n the waves is just perfection to him

suga might always seem very happy and peppy but he isnt always

he has mastered the people pleasing act of happiness

so he rlly enjoys ur strong emotional sense to be able to understand him

also likes that you’re empathetic so being vulnerable is comfortable with you

because of those he feels like he can talk to u about anything he feels like he needs to hide from others (the trustworthiness helps w this too)

(he is an infj so the balance of that relationship is rlly cool btw)

finds it so cool that you play volleyball

he’ll inv u to play w his team sometime for fun but will make sure ur not overwhelmed (because we all know that team meeting sugas gf would be..just praying for u)

he always sends u good morning and good night texts

he always brings u sweets n chocolate on ur period

brings you flowers all the time

he also will check if u need anything when hes at the grocery store

he will never forget an anniversary

ALSO LOVES THAT YOU WORK W CHILDREN, HIS FUTURE TEACHER HEART IS SO HAPPY

overall a rlly understanding, safe, and compassionate relationship

THANK U SO MUCH FOR REQ AGAIN!! I hope u enjoyed it! I have a lot of fun writing these :) as always, if u saw any spelling errors no u didn’t! dont forget to eat and drink water!!

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu matchups #haikyuu x reader #romantic match #matchups #sugawara drabble #sugawara fic #hq suga #hq kuroo #kuroo fluff #kuroo x you #haikyuu smut #haikyuu hcs #suga smut

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pepprs · 8 months

Note

dont worry abt responding to my messages!! they can be little trinkets for u to keep forever if u wanna :)))

dear anon… how could i not respond to THESE!!!!!!!!!! 😭💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 you are the sweetest kindest most WONDERFUL soul. it is an honor to receive these beautiful letters and i hope you know how much i cherish each and every one. not just the words but the adventures you take me on and write up for the two of us!!! and the beauty and magic you help me to see in the world around me and the peace and love and love and love you conjure for me in moments when i cant find it or feel it so easy!!!! like idk i know i have no idea who you are outside of being dear anon and i only answer asks once in a blue moon but it truly means the world to me. TRULY.

your writing feels like all the best things, all the things i love most. like leaf piles in the fall and the pikmin bloom soundtrack (btw if you dont play that already i HIGHLY recommend it to you specifically, i think u would really like it and tbh you sending me these letters has the same vibe as my pikmin bringing me postcards from their adventures :"~DDDD!!! if you ever do join it please lmk i would LOVE to be friends and send you postcards and do adventures together!!!!) and frosting on cupcakes and twinkly dust motes in the sunlight and cumulus clouds and dogwood flowers and the way things made of glass refract rainbows and SUNLIGHT SUNLIGHT SUNLIGHT. and even that isnt cutting it. how magical it all is. like i wish i wasnt so exhausted so i could express it better but it truly is so... idk. NOSTALGIC! COZY! HOME!!!!!

so... in order to try to articulate it (and also show my thanks / return the favor / etc.), i am sending this letter along with a care package knitted with word and song and magic and light. enclosed please find:

wind chimes that sing like the sun hitting the lake (also i REALLY want to get a butterfly hair clip!!! i cant wear hair clips or anything else fancy in my hair bc of my mask headbands but id love to have one in case im ever able to wear it in the future 🥹)

a heart-shaped pebble from brighton, to add to your collection (btw i LOVE the part about how you lost them a long time ago but you love them so you remember what they look like. WAUGH. gut punch GUT PUNCH IN THE BEST WAY!!!!)

a mug for hot chocolate, so we can share some together when it gets cold again -- decorated with hand-painted stars in all colors!

a tiny needle to knit your sundust satchels -- like the kind youd find in pixie hollow or the tale of desperaux or something (also both things that have dear anon vibes to me and are also DEEPLY nostalgic for me!)

a recipe for starfait, with illustrations!! (also i LOVE that idea for a replacement for "tesscore"!! but i may end up using that for my personal tag on my undertale / deltarune blog instead bc its so perfect (and also im HONORED that u associate that with me 😭😭😭😭))

a crown and wand for you to wear to match the fairy queen mouse while you write the same kind of magic and comfort she brings!

a packet of magical flower seeds that sprout the most whimsical sweet-smelling flowers, with petals that are soft to the touch!

a hand-woven scarf in your favorite color threaded with shiny silver strands, like comets streaming through the sky (also i am SO late to say this but UNO REVERSE CARD re: your new years wish to me which is genuinely making me lumpthroated and teary eyed reading it again in AUGUST. you are the sweetest EVER. and also ive never played journey before but ive been interested in it for years!!! i'll have to check it out and/or watch a playthrough!)

a hummingbird sculpture on a long stick for you to plant in your garden among the flowers, to sing to them and to you! (also RE: your question about your vocal range -- it just means that you can cover a little over two octaves (the number after the letter is the octave it's in, and each octave is a span of c-d-e-f-g-a-b-c -- so your range starts at about halfway through the third octave and goes to halfway through the fifth!) i think your range is about the same as mine iirc so we can hum along with the hummingbird and all three follow each other's notes :"~D <3)

a golden acorn on a thread for you to wear as a necklace when we go to the bird tea party! (by the way, have you ever read the book ""until the last acorn "when the last acorn is found?" it's a BEAUTIFUL book and it made me cry reading it! i think you and the acorn people would get along very, very well!!)

a lantern made of jelly moonlight and silver foil stars (see: ilomilo chapter 4 :"~D) for you to carry on your walks through the dim nights (you can hang the stars in the sky, and they'll brighten the world and light at your touch!)

a copy of one of my favorite books of all time, "the ten thousand doors of january," which is so much about wedging cracks open into other worlds, and something i think you might like very much / resonate with too!!

a big, big hug.

dear anon: THANK YOU. for all these words and for being you. i dont know how i got so lucky to have you sending me these little trinkets but i will most CERTAINLY keep them forever. i hope you experience all the peace and love and love and love to infinity. may you always know and shine with the light you bring and the light you are.

#purrs #asks #dear anon #<- im making you a tag now!!! i can’t believe i didn’t have one already!!#tess answers asks 2023 #(i had to take screenshots of some of these bc they werent showing up in my desktop inbox for some reason? but... this officially #concludes my ask-answering spree for today! tysm to everyone who sent me an ask i love u all so so much <3 <3 <3 i may rb stuff a little #more before going to bed but... (preemptively) goodnight and sweet dreams 🫂💗💗💗💗#save #comfort #tesscore #(ALSO BTW: i completely forgot abt adding alt text to the posts where i put screenshots of asks (like this one) so i'll try to go back and #do that tmrrw after work!!)

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justfor2am · 1 year

Note

ONE LAST ASK .i cant sleep so i finally read the first ssk i sent tsht u answered and i want u to go in2 more depth w the songs n playlists n shit u mentioned in there .this is separate from the other music ask yea 👍 gn for real probs. btw its so sad that my parrot emoji used to be mostly red like whatever the coloring people draw grian w idk names of any birds but owls but they changed it

🦜

^ idk what kind of phone u have but i have android .before my ohone updated he was a lil red guy n now hes GREEN .i had this fucker in my old discord theme thank god i changed it before it changed for me bc this HURTS goddamn i want my red fuckign bird bsck

ok gn 4 rral the whiplash of my music going from stray kids to stevie nicks is enough to make me pass out (do not let my listing of artist names fool u i only know one stevie nicks song n its edge of seventeen .the skz song was sunshine tho Btw)

AOUGH what did they do to my parrot boy.....

i don't know any songs by stevie nicks so tbh you've got me beat either way LMAO OKIE so analysis time uhhhh lemme see the post

It's Never Enough by we are the dirt: this song is thematically about an individual with rapidly declining mental health, seeking out a gruesome end to escape the bottomless emotions associated with a terrible breakup. it's melodramatic, it's way over blown, it's delightfully obscene in its depictions of bodily gore, it's soooooooo scarian.

as far as a fic goes, i would want to lean heavily into the vex cannibalism aspect that's canon to scar, with the setting being third life. a rotted corpse walking around the living with red in his eyes and barely contained inhuman hunger roaring in his ears? held only at bay because of "he" whom is now indebted to that corpse? who pledges him his first life and watches scar fall into insanity and in the end, strikes him down himself, that love which was the only thing keeping scar alive, not enough to save him in the end? sounds like a good hurt/no comfort fic to me.

some lyrics that i think especially apply: "‘Cause if I can't taste your lips just let me taste blood and nothing else." "They'll be with me in life and death and after I take my final breath, they'll crawl in through my rotting flesh and eat away my skin." "He said “don’t trust your eyes they always lie they always lie, only trust what you feel” but I feel you in my dreams and you're next to me and you're never real."

now, actor au!

grian: Don't Assume What You Don't Know by Grace VanderWaal -a song about being blindsided by an industry that promised you riches and fame, only to be cast aside at best, taken advantage of at worst jealousy, jealousy by Olivia Rodrigo -a song about being jealous of people who aren't competing with you, nor are they trying to make you feel inferior, but letting yourself get carried away with self-inflicted negative emotions You Stupid Bitch by girl in red -lightly tsundere grian my beloved. this is what he wants to scream at scar, if only he could admit to himself that he actually cares about him beyond a superficial, physical level.

scar: SCOOP by Lil Nas X feat. Doja Cat -a song about constantly being one step ahead of a ruthless industry that is just waiting for you to fail. Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High by Arctic Monkeys -a part of grian and scar's relationship that i haven't been able to explore yet, but i definitely will be making space for. -in short, grian's deadset on the rules in their "arrangement", but scar's already in love with him. being told that their private meetings are primarily contingent on them hooking up, and nothing more, isn't exactly easy for scar to process. Boyfriend by Dove Cameron -the person he pretends to be: suave, charming, a smooth-talker. while scar is capable of being all those features, in truth he wants to be this person to grian only. he wants to sweep grian off his feet and be able to say that openly.

#justfor2am #justfor2talks #one day i will be able to answer asks at a reasonable pace #and not at 11:30 pm LMAO

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pekodayz · 10 months

Note

PEKO HI HII WAVES

☕

🎡

🛡

HIAIAIIAIIIII TINNYYNYN AHAAHAAA WAVES SHAKES UUUU

☕: How do you comfort each other on a bad day?

answered here :3

and kfc. ummmm......its there in japan...it looks good, they'll go like once. jk twice. then some other fast food place in the AM. loitering....GET OUT.

🎡: What are your favorite activities to do together?

Go drinking. Even tho aini HATES beer, she just drinks wine bc she likes the colors of it. oso does offer a drinking game between the 2. ig aini likes a challenge, so she would accept. at the end, she’s in a drunk-induced emotional breakdown and oso es holding her as he’s trying not to laugh at her (he ends up laughing, then crying too. aini sees that and cracks up and they just lay there. dead.) only on Friday nights cuz they don’t have work Saturday. Aini kinda doesn’t want to admit it but she likes pachinko, her luck is bad tho, so she just loses and sulks. Oso pats her on the back and shoves her, giving her some cash aw. ugh. ….then he smirks and whispers that she’s paying for dinner and aini jumps him. Aini forces oso to go to the mall with her so she can have him carry her stuff (lol he doesn’t want to but Aini’s his friend and he cares abt her so…) aini can’t act cute for shit so she doesn’t try to win him over that way. ugh. she just calls him an idiot and promises him he’ll get food after, so he tags along. every 10 mins asking is it time to eat yet. annoying…..she hisses at him to shut him up bc she never does that(literally) they look odd in the public eye. whining oso complaining that he’s gonna die and aini says TOO BAD. then eventually she’ll feel slightly bad and gets him smth to snack on. he then says that she’s the bestest friend a guy could have and that he spent 200$ on her card. aini teary eyed shaking him. (dw they got paid the next day) also some very intense battle. at an arcade..for like 4 hours. they also love going out to eat with each other bc idk they can talk for hours on end, ew....who can be more annoying in public 3 2 1 go.

ah yeah one more thing. oso smokes yeah but aini is always curious. after work hes like there finishing one up. aini goes up to him and says how gross that must be...insults him once. oso rolls his eyes and says how she prob cant even handle 10 seconds of a cigarette. betted she couldnt and is a pussy. aini says oh yeah? then snatches his cig and holds it in her mouth (not knowing she needs to exhale that smoek OUT..) .she chokes and coughs like crazy, hacking and is on her knees. tears pouring down her face from all the coughing and wheezing. hoarsely saying fuck u. grabbing onto his pantlegs. oso laughing like crazy, crying.. .ugh. he pulls her up and he treats her like a damn child. aini silent, staring at him (throat too fucked to say anything back, so she just lets him. sniffles..whatever he's being nice...wWHATEVR) then they realize that was like an indirect kiss. umm...lets go...

🛡: Who’s the more protective one?

answered here :3

Lol I forgot to include some stuff oopssieessss… ok so oso has this thing where like he gen gets ticked off when some random talks down on aini bc it’s like…it’s not funny when u say it??? im the one who can jab at her, not you? aini uhhh lets oso get talked abt when hes being a perv and stuff, he deserved that. sorry. but she will get annoyed when a random says stuff abt him, then she'll be like how do YOU know that???? then she'll go on a tangent abt how dumb he is and how they will never understand osomatsu like she does. then she stops and pulls out a gun, realizing shes said too much.

#ppp #answering these in the daylight is sobering #HI TINY.....

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