#idk what it is about this project that makes me wanna draw animals but here we are
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I want to know more about the m9 artist au!! I remember reading a post or two about it a billion years ago (and would love to read them again) 💜
hi jess!!!! thank u for being interested hehe :")
so ever since i drew that lil thing of essek painting a frank stella inspired painting (or even before), ive been thinking of what kinds of art each of the m9 would do. essek ofc is inspired by a minimalist show that i went to here, all the big names from that movement were shown, but those really dark, sinkhole-like paintings are speaking to me. another artwork of boxes made of mirrors also seems like the thing he would do too
there's a kiln here that we visited which was huge, and surrounding it were artists' studios and some other ceramic sellers, i imagine the clay family having a place like this in the middle of nowhere amongst the trees, and caleb would do his work there
anyways because at heart im a shadowgast luver its centred around them,, they meet at an artist residency or something like that and its an incredibly slow burn that involves talking and not-talking and looking and not-looking. in the end i am but a simple wong kar wai fan so. that kinda vibes would definitely influence this, i would describe it as a quiet burning i guess?? time skipy and words that are not said
i think im gonna rant a bit more about their different mediums and styles so i'll keep it under the cut
i think caleb sculpts figures and portraits, but in a sad, kathe kollwitz charcoal vibe. maybe some funky looking animals, perhaps some pots and vases to look at the pretty glazes. he's interested in using fire to burn texture into different mediums, like ive seen it being used on shellac to make a really cool net of ink looking structure.. but yknow, just seeing the aftermath of glazed ceramic from the kiln is enough, and probably better for him to keep his distance anyways
the clay family produces most of the ceramic to sell, vases, pots, plates, cups, teapots, yknow just a whole array. and its really colourful too, depicting every family members different style. i think caduceus would do some matte glazes with a lot of different colours, theyre all a little wonky but theyre better off that way anyways. he does some really mean ink calligraphy and painting though
jester definitely does,, everything, whatever her heart desires kinda thang. she makes pastel textile installations and lighthearted cute paintings, but theyre always so contemplative and soothing. she gets m9 a lot of work cus her mom has connections, etc etc. i really love the idea of jester creating works that talk about the female body and femininity (definitely not projecting no)
beau is a printmaker and photographer who's really experimental, she loves cyanotypes and printing flowers (for yasha), idk she seems like she would put fabric and rocks into the washing machine to see what would happen. u would probably catch her in someone elses studio learning about what they do or in the library learning about what old people did
veth works in a museum as a curator, getting beau to help her sometimes with gathering artworks and artists etc. she probably organises community art projects for kids and public art installations. her house is full of m9's artworks and various other artists shes worked with.
yasha does bouquets as her post-retirement part time job, prior to that no one really knows what she did ("she probably murdered a bunch of people and is now hiding from the government"). fjord draws comics for fun but is also not a job for him, molly is a question mark for me. but these guys probably wont be in it as much anyways
im still not sure what format i wanna do this in, im actually having fun just writing it in my notebook now (digital does not facilitate the creative juices) but i do want to do some visuals like fake movie stills or storyboards. maybe they will work together well???? dunno. working on the other shadowgasty thing im doing made me realise how much easier it is to draw when there's a script already there, so im writing the script for myself
im definitely not as practiced in writing as i am in drawing, but idk im just gonna have some fun and see where that takes me, meanwhile try not to feel too bad that its fanart HAHA (very bad habit)
edit: i just saw my previous thoughts on beau being an art journalist, but i kinda like this better.. but maybe she can do both muah
#working tag for this ->#the kiln#honestly if u had any tips for writing#i'd love to hear..#i was insulted once on my writing and never wrote again HADHSFHF#oh and also emo smoking#that is somethng i want to draw more of
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thank you to THESE people who have supplied me with ideas (@wodimewoahtime and @the-one-that-weeps you guys are great)
SO. SOME BIG CHANGES.
will be having a "theme" for each group to make things easier on myself because coming up with an individual theme for everyone is a nightmare. These are just some ideas, and I have more ideas than others for certain groups
WxS: Myths and mystical creatures, card deck, or a marching band.
I'm iffy on the card deck idea because well. World Link. All aces. I don't wanna just steal everything from canon. But if I go through with it... Tsukasa is the joker, Rui is the king, Nene is the queen, and Emu is the Jack (I think that's what it is).
For myths and legends tsukasa would be either a pegasus or a phoenix or even a dragon, Nene would be a mermaid, Emu would be a fairy, and rui would be a wizard/alchemist.
For marching band, Emu would play the tube or trumpet, Nene would play the flute, and rui and tsukasa are the conductor and the drum player I'm not sure which one goes where. This idea is the most cohesive but idk what powers I would give them other than. Music. This idea would actually be based off of the Let Your Song Resonate Throughout the SEKAI event rather than their own event cards.
N:25: Tarot cards. Tarot cards. Tarot cards. Lower save me.
Mizuki is obviously The Reverse Hermit and Kanade is The Reversed Hanged Man, but Mafuyu and Ena are the ones i have to do on my own.
For Mafuyu I'm thinking either Reversed Empress or Reversed Hierophant. Honestly both of them could be incorporated because they represent her during different stages of her development. Maybe if there ends up being like. An evolution of ones costumes. She could look more like the Reversed Empress at the beginning and then end up looking more like Reversed Hierophant at the end. just an idea
I'm looking at Reversed Chariot or Reversed Strength Ena. BUT I'm not 100% sure these represent her character well, so if anyone has anything to say about my choice here then go for it.
MMJ: Tokyo Mew M- I mean animal magical girls. Haruka could be a penguin, shizuku a dove, airi a cat, and maybe squirrel Minori? I need help with Minori. Maybe lamb Minori. Idc that lambs are associated with kohane she's a hamster that's the end of it. Also this is def gonna take from both their DREAM PLACE and Ai No Material outfits.
ANOTHER IDEA!!! their theme could be "gemstones" and they could take from their jewelery box set. Minori is sunstone, Haruka is aquamarine, Shizuku is jade, and Airi is spinel. These gems are all just from the project sekai Jewelery Box card game I think it is?
VBS: Okay so this one is most likely gonna be the most diverse out of all of them. Their theme is seasons. Kohane is spring (because spring baby), An is summer (she just gives off those vibes + her fiery spirit, Akito is fall because of the fact that his name normally gets mistaken for "fall" (look it up its on the wiki) and toya is winter (because mirai).
Akito is going to be based on his Kashika card (I think I can do something with the red strings) An is going to be based on her Machi card, Kohane is going to be based off of her Flyer Card (ty hoc) and her Beat Eater card (big ol hammer), and toya will be based off of his mirai and maybe Valentine's Day cards. Maybe. All of them are most likely going to take elements from blender.
L/N: Times of day. Was originally going to do this with VBS, but I moved it to Leoni.
I'm not too sure about the order but for now I will say that honami is morning, saki is midday, shiho is evening, and ichika is night.
All of them are going to be taking elements from the From Tokyo set, saki especially. Honami is going also use elements from her fea card (if I find a way to incorporate it), Shiho will take from her Draw Your Bow card (idk I like the outfit) and ichika I'm undecided on but she'll either take from her Stage of SEKAI card or her Made To Order card..
That's it
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well guys. since i missed epic's birthday (devastating) have some headcanons :)
he is one of those weaboos who learned japanese so he can watch anime "the authentic way" (his words)
so he's fluent in japanese 💀 he literally only learned it for anime but dude was DEDACTED
he's so cringe guys 😭 i can say that. he's my boyfriend i love him
he would adore those cute anime girl v-tubers. like not in a weird way but he'd watch a lot of them
HE PLAYS GENSHIN 💀 he'd probably main beidou or raiden shogun/ei.. maybe run a full electro team with miko and fischl too 😭 (fischl is his fave character he loves her backstory and her bird thing idk i dont use fischl 💀) he loves the electro characters for some reason idk
HE HAS THE WORST LUCK ON THIS GAME THO. bro has c6 diluc (me too ☹️) and all his artifacts SUCK ASS even tho he'll grind every day
he has to spend money on every banner because he always loses his 50/50 and only gets high pity
ok enough genshin headcanons he's cringe we know this
im here ranting about a game i hate because my dumb boyfriend plays it so much
he hangs out with cross a lot ofc BUT
whenever he hears the word cross used in any context he turns to cross like "CROSS????? BRUH THATS YOU!!" (i always make these jokes. im projecting)
cant believe jesus died on his best friend fr... LMAOOO
he speedruns minecraft. he's NOT GOOD AT IT. but he can do it
he's had his speedruns ruined by creepers like 7 times
one time he somehow got into the deep dark and got killed by the warden??? idk what bro was doing down there in a speedrun dawg 😭
sorry he's a gamer in my head but hes really bad at every game he plays (just like me fr)
he sleeps under like 6 different weighted blankets in the hopes that he wont thrash around when he sleeps but he's too strong and ends up tossing them all off his bed 😭
bro needs to be CRUSHED to fall asleep!! he literally cant fall asleep without the weight
not that he likes to sleep anyway because of the nightmares but whatever. hes gotta do it. unfortunately.
he fights in his dreams ofc thats like canon but bro is throwing punches in his sleep fr
if he gets a partner (me fr!!) they gotta sleep in a different ROOM 😭 he is taking NO CHANCES and tbh thats so fair i wouldnt wanna wake up being beaten up by my bf
he is so ipad baby-core <3 he'll just watch youtube on his ipad all day if u let him but he's an old man and needs his spectacles otherwise he's holding it at arm's length 💀
don't forget bro is literally a doctor?? he's SO smart but he uses his goofy persona as a cover up
im convinced like most of the people that know him actually dont know this. they all think hes dumb as bricks 💀
them he'll casually say smth super smart and everyone is like ???????? HELLO??? SINCE WHEN DID UR BRAIN WORK??
i love drawing epic with glasses guys he looks so cute. but he has old man reading glasses
this the typa shit he wears
AND HE FUCKING. anime glasses 😭
like yk how ppl in anime push glasses up
him fr
AUUGH WHY IS HE SO CRINGE I NEED TO CRUSH HIM
he actually needs his glasses all the time but he doesnt like to look like a NERDD so he doesnt wear them
he makes cross read everything for him
they go out to eat and gotta make him read the whole menu otherwise hes holding it 2cm from his face 💔
"whatd that sign say i cant read it"
"dude the letters are huge how cant you read it"
"oh lol i need my glasses my bad bruh"
"YOU ARE DRIVING A CAR RIGHT NOW????"
actually he cant legally drive. because thats funnier than if he could
id still be his passenger princess <3 i refuse to get my license
anyway guys isnt my boyfriend so silly
im so tiredni needto seelp goodnight smooork mimimumumu
its 3am i neednto get up in 5 hours naioiiooooooo
goodbye guys enhjoy my boyfrien mdgrf
#count how many times i project onto epic challenege#headcanon#undertale headcanon#epic#epic sans#epic headcanon#bruh idk how to tag stuff i dont make real posts anymore 😭#jester writes
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im having trouble figuring out what i wanna work on today (i start commission work back up on monday so none of that) so im going to ramble until i figure something out <3
i have SOOO many projects and ideas i could be working on tbh. a lot of them, though, are in the development stage (such as a lot of my to-be comic stories), which means i cant..necessarily draw things for them and post said things?? which kind of turns me off from working on them lol. which also sucks bc i do wanna work on them! damn my need for validation
i started working on an older animation meme project that has to do with step (it even has a bit of voice acting in it! fun) and it got me thinking about step again lowkey. and that got me thinking about how i said i might make All my comics a reality sooner rather than later, and thats where im at rn--wanting to start all these projects but not being able to get past development u_u i was gonna do em all bc of adhd but ironically adhd is the thing preventing me from doing them lol
i am excited for my stories!! im excited to start sharing them no matter how slow i may be to do it. i dont feel any pressure to work on anything anymore which is good, but at the same time it does mean things are gonna be a lil slow. like dpgii for example. ive only posted 5 pages of it and im already taking a hiatus lol. i was thinkin about working on it soon however..idk how soon tho
i wanna make more wolves for blessed too but i gotta develop the story a BIT more i think. i have a vague basic story going but i need to put some spice and detail into it now. same thing for one way dream, i have some bits and pieces here and there but i need to get into the nitty gritty of it.
i could theoretically start step or alien love bc their scripts are like..done lol. i started thumbnails for step a while ago and i think i may have for alien love but i cant remember
also i wanna redo my ghosts meme. again. last time i remade it with danny phantom and it kinda flopped lol. but i wanna make it with one way dream this time :) itll have super spoilers in it but thats ok who cares i guess
circling back to not knowing what i wanna do--im having the problem where i have Lots i could be doing but i cant choose. i think thats the issue :/a rahhh rahh. i might just end up working on a comic idk. something in me feels like im not making the right choice in what to work on so thats preventing me from doing anything too lol. like if i choose to work on mirrors then im wrong bc i could be working on another thing, and vice versa. maybe i should just pick whatever feels right to me and just do it until i get tired of it
ok i'll end the ramble post here this got long. stream of consciousness and all that
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Im making a funny thing in roblox and Im gonna talk about it here because I think if I don’t my head’ll explode! its still a work in progress but its getting there.
heres a picture of the spawn, you spawn right by the bus stop (the green thing which I gotta remake the model for sometime), next to the parking lot and across from the hotel.
On the same side of the street you spawn on is the Dark Side Diner! A space themed diner though it doesn’t quite look it yet, I picked Blue & Orange for the main two colors for a few reasons but one of them is just that I think its a nice color combo, the purple is just there for a bit of extra possible variation.
The neon letter models weren’t made by me I just yoinked em off the toolbox and unlike most other toolbox items in here I do not intend to eventually replace em, the stars are mine tho.
The Interior from over the counter looks like this, there’ll be a small kitchen area just behind where the camera is.
every 4 seats per cubby(?) gets its own sitting animation, as showcased by my 4 mes, though if I turn this into an actual publicly playable game I might look into getting a list of sitting animations for the player to use rather then making it depend on what seat they use.
another shot of the main area, the tables and chairs are unfinished right now. the stools are good though. if you’re curious about what those green cobblestone objects are, they’re placeholders for props I haven’t even started on.
at some point I wanna draw a space background out and have it go over some of the walls, the lighting of the inside is also something Im kinda iffy about right now so it might get changed soon. quick funfact tho when I started, this was just gonna be a small basic square coffee shop.
and the current version is still technically v3, if you count the coffee shop. I don’t think I have a save with the og layout of the diner but I do have one with the og exterior.
you can see the scrapped arcade in the background of this one actually, it was what this whole project was based around before I decided it didn’t fit with what the project had become anymore. still plan to include an arcade machine somewhere, maybe I can make some extra room in the diner.
Next up is the hotel I mentioned earlier, kinda unfinished, it has 9 rooms and an office that hasn’t even been started. this is what it currently looks like.
as for the interior.
all the other rooms look like this too.
The bed model is one from the toolbox and Im just using it as a placeholder till I decide to actually make my own, same with the dresser which you can’t really tell is a dresser from this angle. The clocks supposed to make ticking sounds but if I just give every rooms clock this ability they end up stacking in some parts of the rooms, roblox does have an inbuilt proximity sound thing but its not the best. Thats supposed to be a CRT TV but it doesn’t look the best so thats another thing I gotta remodel.
theres an extra room by the shelves but idk what to put there yet so they’re empty
behind the hotel is a small area. with a big tree that has its leaves set to not cast shadows, a few barely noticable picnic tables and an unfinished little campfire that Im gonna move probably.
and since I shared the diners history I’ll also share the hotels history, the exterior and interior. this was how it looked before I decided to revamp it.
heres an overhead shot of the main forest area.
and heres the forests first landmark, one of three cabins. again, sort of unfinished since my work on this is very scattered.
the interior is mostly finished, with the fireplace and lights being switchable on and off as well working opening doors (both of the which are also applied to the hotel rooms I just forgot to mention that)
kitchen area with cupboards and more detail on the stove coming soon
and a very small bedroom, the bunkbed is also a placeholder from the toolbox.
I would like to add an attic but Im still working out the kinks of the how the roof is gonna look so that comes later.
the next landmark off on its own sidepath is this shack thats very unfinished as well. based off a memory(or possibly dream that just stuck with me idfk) from ages ago. its nothing too special really, just sorta there.
and the back of it leads to a river caused by a waterfall.
nothing much else to say about this spot yet, its just where the main path leads.
going back to the street, across from the front of darkside diner is this little pit that leads to a sewer grate. I should probably put a light in there.
further down the street is the gas station and its store with a slushy machine and freezer for frozen sweets.
a bit further down and on the other side is another cabin placeholder, once Im finished the first one they’ll also get placed here.
and back on the other side is gonna be a small campsite where Im probably gonna move the campfire to. right now theres just an extremely unfinished RV
and here is a way up to this one cliff spot where Im gonna make an overlook point where the last cabin placeholder is right now (though it won’t stay there tbh). theres gonna be rocks at the edges of and its gonna look more like an actually cliff, theres also gonna be a parking lot here though it’ll be more gravelly then the paved one by the diner and hotels.
finally, the most unfinished thing here I’d say is the foreground (picture has the invisible walls made visible).
I want it to look like you’re in a forest valley but thats far from obvious right now. nothing else to say really. this is it as of now but here are some are notable older versions, from when I started this on January 26th of this year
to February 13th
February 25th
April 4th
and finally April 20th
though there are more versions after this I have saved, Im just gonna end it here since theres not as much huge difference.
And its worth noting that when I started this, I had no prior experience with roblox studio at all. so it just goes to show how beginner friendly this thing is.
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Books from March!
January/February
#listen I don’t care what chant tells you. he needs glasses#idk what it is about this project that makes me wanna draw animals but here we are#tehanu#tales from earthsea#a conspiracy of truths#the other wind#2022 reading goal#I need a tag for these....I’ll come up with a good one eventually#my art
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Safe (Kaminari Denki x Reader)
Warnings: slight angst/insecurities, comfort, fluff
Pairing: kaminari denki x reader
Prompt: #58 “You make me feel safe”
A/N: idk why but i hc that kaminari is actually very insecure but jokes around and shit as a coping mechanism. can you sense the self projection here. hope you enjoy this, it was very fun to write!
You sprung forward, eyes wide awake with alarm. Your mind struggled to catch up with your body; phantom sensations still lingering on your skin, static scenes of vibrant blue flames scorched into your brain as your heavy breaths died down into a slightly more regulated rhythm. This was the fifth time this week. It’s been two full months since the training camp, two full months since you’ve moved into the dorms and you still weren’t over it yet. The nightmares just wouldn’t stop.
You plopped back down on the mattress, exasperated and thoroughly annoyed at having your precious slumber cut short. Again. Honestly, for such a prestigious school, U.A. has probably the worst counseling team you’ve ever seen– or haven’t seen, because despite several of your classmates showing painfully obvious signs of trauma, the school staff has barely stepped in. You huffed at the administration’s incompetence, turning on your side to glare at nothing in particular. A ping interrupted your train of thought, drawing your attention to the device laying on your nightstand. You snatched your phone, unlocking it and immediately squinting at the brightness before checking the time. Three in the morning. Who the hell would text you at ass o’clock in the morning? You knew who.
Pika pika⚡:
[image]
[image]
[image]
some maymays for when you wake up 😌😌
You:
they’re called memes ffs
Pika pika⚡:
you’re awake??👀
You:
no.
The message was left on seen, though the interface of the messaging up was replaced by that of an incoming call. You rolled your eyes, though a slight smile stretched your tired features at the picture of you and Kaminari grinning at the camera. You accepted the call.
“Why are you up?” His voice came through mildly distorted but still as loud as ever, too loud for three in the fucking morning.
“Can’t sleep,” Your answer was slightly muffled by a yawn, betraying just how exhausted you were. The silence that proceeded was deafening, neither of you uttering a word, but you could faintly hear his even breathing. It was oddly calming. You sigh, lids blinking to fight off your drowsiness.
“…You’re still having nightmares?” Words tinged with worry, his voice was much quieter now, gentler. If anything, Kaminari was a great friend. He’d proven that to you time and time again. He was the only one that could tell when you were drowning in hushed misery, seeing through your well-constructed front like it was second nature to him. For someone so astoundingly moronic, he was extremely socially intelligent, and even observant when he wanted to be. And for the umptieth time, he’s showing you just how easily he could pick up on the small traces of discomfort in your voice, the silent plea left unspoken from your lips.
“Yeah…” The reply didn’t come out as resolute as you’d wished it would have been. But it couldn’t be helped. No matter how hard you willed yourself to level your tone in hopes of fending off his concerns, you knew it would all crumble at some point. Go figure your strong façade would fall apart in front of him. It’s always been him. For some reason unknown to you (yet), confiding in him just felt right, secure.
More silence ensued.
Denki was a natural at detecting people’s emotions, but that’s as far as his expertise would go. Sure, he knew how to encourage others, pushing them past their insecurities was as easy as breathing to him. With bright, golden hues and an obnoxiously dorky grin, all he had to do was utter a few optimistic words and that would get the job done. But comfort? Vulnerability? That was so far beyond the shallow waters he’d grown accustomed to. Sentimentalities weren’t his thing, he simply didn’t posses the wisdom and eloquence needed to deal with such situations. His immediate reaction would be to crack a joke, fruitless attempts at lightening the mood but he knew there was a time and place for jests, and this wasn’t one of them. Awkwardness and half-hearted jabs were his immediate reaction… because that’s how he dealt with his own problems too.
“Hey… can I come over? We can play animal crossing or something,” You sure as shit wouldn’t be able to sleep, not in this state. You needed a distraction. A friend.
“What if we get caught?”
“Would you even care if we got caught?”
A light chuckle. “No,”
“Exactly. I’ll be there in a bit.”
The line went dead, he stared at the blank screen of his phone before flopping onto his back. Why you’d be so open with him of all people when he saw just how uneasy around his other classmates, he didn’t know. The list of people he thought were more deserving of your trust was almost unending, and he wasn’t even close to the top of it. One thought brought forward another, each one getting progressively more deprecative, and the sloppily sewn patch over his self-doubt started to tear, ripped off its poorly embedded stitches. He was confident in himself, until he joined class 1-A that is. He just felt… there compared to his peers. His body was nothing to laugh at, but his build was still considerably lean compared to the people he was around. The fact that such a talented, hardworking person had taken interest in him was frankly baffling. He wasn’t as flashy as Todoroki, or as powerful as Bakugo, or as brainy as Midoriya. He was just him. Lackluster, average him. It only added insult to injury when he’d witnessed how they looked at you. They pined for you, and he couldn’t blame them. He craved you too. But god, the nagging thought that you were wasting your time hanging around someone like him, that he was stealing you away from people who were (in his opinion) glaringly more worthy of cherishing you than him, it just wouldn’t go away. You had so many stronger, smarter, better options out there that he couldn’t help but be reminded of how lacking– inadequate he was compared to seemingly everyone else. And yet you chose to get close to him. In a superhuman class full to the brim with prodigies and workaholics, you picked him. It didn’t make the slightest bit of sense.
He was fished into reality and away from his sea of self-doubt when he heard three consecutive knocks on his door. Just how long had he laid there, wallowing?
The door creaked open and you were greeted with the glorious sight of Kaminari in a Pikachu onesie, a ruffled (adorable) tuft of electric, blonde hair peeking out from under the hood. You snorted.
“Nice pj’s,”
Denki blinked, looking down only to realize that he hadn’t changed out of his onesie because of his overthinking session. An embarrassed chuckle escaped him as he scratched at the side of his cheek, a lopsided smile and a cherry tint creeping up his complexion.
“What can I say, I always have to be on brand.”
You loved that about him. He seemed so laid-back, uncaring, willing to roll with whatever punches were thrown at him, playing off jocular comments and rude insults alike with practiced ease. Giggling past him, you situated on his bed, ready to forget about your nightmares and just have fun with your friend. And if Denki was a genius at anything, it was having fun.
Hours flew by at the pace of minutes, it was now six in the morning, the sun had begun to show its yellow glow and you’d spent the entirety of dawn kicking Kaminari’s butt at Mario kart, sharing laughs and fleeting touches. He liked this, you liked this. Despite knowing that he wasn’t by any means the best suitor for you, he couldn’t halt the need to monopolize you. How could he, when your very presence (unbeknownst to you) shoved his insecurities unceremoniously into the backseat in favor of enjoying the moment with you? He hadn’t a clue how you did it, but you always managed to shoo away his doubts just by being there, and he selfishly couldn’t (and wouldn’t) let go of that. You immersed him in riveting ventures of the now, miles and acres away from his overbearing thoughts. All without even trying, without even knowing it.
It was the weekend (thank fuck) and sleeping in sounded like heaven on earth right now. If it weren’t for your nightmares. The fear of recounting those horrid memories in horrific detail again barred your eyes from sleep, regardless of how spent you were. Apparently, Denki’s spidey-friendship senses kicked in again, because he immediately noticed the apprehension on your face, the stiffness in your movements as you were preparing to leave. He knew exactly what was up with you, and he couldn’t let you leave like that, it would eat him up for days. He grabbed your wrist as you turned for the door.
“Do you wanna stay?”
Maybe it was your exhausted mind finally turning into mush, or maybe it was the softness in his voice, the docile concern in his eyes that made you agree on staying. Your compliance surprised you both, honestly. You were both very aware that you wouldn’t have accepted the offer had it been anyone else. But in retrospect it seemed rational. After all, throughout the whole night, not once did you think back to the horrors that would visit you in your sleep, not once did you feel the crippling anxiety clawing at the frayed edges of your psyche. Instead you felt secure, sound. Safe. And you came to an epiphany. Maybe it wasn’t the idea of sleep that scared you, maybe it was the impending loneliness, isolation and uncertainty that you’d often experience without him.
“Yes,”
You laid there, facing each other, a considerable distance between you. No words exchanged, yet you could tell there was a lot on his mind. He decided to voice it all in one question. He knew you were smart enough to catch the underlying self-doubt in his vaguely worded inquiry. Whether you pointed it out or not was entirely up to you, however.
“Why did you say yes to me?”
The articulation caught you off guard, you’d never seen him so… unsure before. Your mind raced with the different possible implications behind his wording, though you decided to quell them all with one single sentence. You smiled, soft and lazy, moving closer to seek out some of his warmth.
“You make me feel safe, Denki.”
And he really did. Even though you came to the revelation mere minutes ago, you accepted it swimmingly, it felt right to do so. It startled you how ready you were to embrace the newfound feelings, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Kaminari was stunned, to say the least. He hadn’t expected that response from you and he honestly still couldn’t rationalize it completely either. But for now, the budding feeling in his heart trumped over his ever-present uncertainty, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
#kaminari x reader#kaminari denki x reader#denki x reader#denki kaminari x reader#kaminari denki#denki kaminari imagine#bnha kaminari#self indulgent writing yayayya#god the projection is heavyy in this one
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Aforementioned long ask post please excuse me while i try to figure out tumblr's new text editor. I’ll get into the art meme questions first and then the rest at the end.
Ok first of all thank you all for sending in questions! Giving me an excuse to talk hehe. I’ll address these in number order. Here’s a link to the ask meme for reference but also I’ll restate the question for ease of reading.
1. When did you get into art?
Super cliche answer but I don’t remember a time where I WASN’T the weird art kid! I started keeping a dedicated sketchbook when I was about 12? But here’s a page from my kindergarten journal about what I want to be when I grow up.
2. What art-related sites have you ever signed up for?
LOL this is a weird question. Not sure why so many people want to know. Anyways I definitely had a dA. more than one dA account. I used to browse oekakis when I was a kid but I think I was only signed up to some small ones that internet friends owned. What else...? Mangabullet,Tegakie, Paintberri, iscribble back when that was a thing, instagram if that COUNTs, I used to post art on livejournal and dreamwidth too. Patreon, I guess. Gumroad, inprnt, bigcartel, storenvy all for selling stuff.
In terms of resources.. I have a schoolism account that I’m sharing with friends. Used to take classes on coursera for free. I signed up to textures.com for work recently haha. I can’t remember if I ever had an account on posemaniacs. Did they have accounts...? I definitely used to visit all the time.
3. Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand.
Alright here’s me actually logging into my old deviantart account. These are from September 2008 So I was 13 years old. I don’t have a deviantart account from before then because 13 was the required age for having an account and I didn’t want to lie about my age because I wanted people to be impressed by how young yet clearly incredible at art I was LOL.
4. What defines your artistic style?
You guys are probably more equipped to answer this than me but uh... I wanna say... Focus on colors. And... a slightly heavy hand? Like confident... not always well-considered mark making HAH...
Also I think I have a pretty healthy mix of american comics/manga influences. I feel like people who are into american comics always think my art is too manga and people who are into anime/manga always think my art is too american. And I’m taking that as a good sign.
5. Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past?
I like to think I switch it up a bunch! I mean, these are pretty different, right?
I think I’ve mentioned this before but one thing I really took away from art school is that, for an illustrator at least, art style shouldn’t be consistent. Your greatest weapon is changing the aspects of your style based on the task, the emotions and message you want to illustrate etc. So depending on the project I’m working on, the fandom I’m drawing for, whether I want something to be funny or serious or dramatic, I’ll change things about my style all the time.
One thing I don’t rly post on here is really tight polished work and that’s because I do that for my day job haha. If you’re not paying me... I’m probably not gonna color in the lines.
6. What levels of artistic education have you had?
I have a whole ass diploma LOL. Bachelor of Fine Arts in Illustration. from the Rhode Island School of Design. And I had a great college experience tbh. Besides the student loans. If any of you guys are thinking about art school feel free to e-mail or message me questions or concerns, I’ll be happy to help. Be as honest as I can be.
7. Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.
heres the wandavision kids. Uhh what else do I have...I feel like I’m rummaging for loose change here...
assorted valentines prep doodles
8. What is your favourite piece that you have done?
Well, obviously this is gonna change all the time and generally it’s gonna be my most recent piece LOL. So yeah, why the hell not. I’ll say it’s this one. I have a pretty short memory which I count as a blessing for an artist. I don’t dwell that long on older work and it keeps me moving forward.
10. What do you like most about your art?
I like that it’s something that only I would make! I had this thought fairly recently and I wrote it down in my sketchbook, it’s pretty cheesy and rambling but it felt revolutionary at the time:
So yeah. I like my art best when it’s the most me and for me. And I like it least when it feels like I’m just making something for social media or for other people’s expectations or whatever.
14. What do you like drawing the most?
Kids in baggy clothing are like my go-to LOL idk if that’s obvious. but also I like being challenged so lately I’ve really loved drawing multi-character compositions, environments, weird angles, etc.
oh i LOVE drawing the underside of shoes lol. And bandages. People that are kinda beat up.. I think it comes from getting a bunch of cuts all the time. I’m always patching myself up and I want to patch characters up too.
15. What do you like drawing the least?
mmm I try to find something to like in every drawing but lets see... I don’t like doing commissions of people’s dogs. Just because it’s normally like... a family friend and my mom volunteered me without my consent and I don’t even really know what they’re expecting me to draw and I don’t even get to meet the dog. Also I’m not that great at dog anatomy. Trying to learn though.
18. What is your purpose for drawing?
This could have a million answers! Uhhh to GIT GOOD??? But also to express myself... and also to make money... I mean it depends on what the drawing IS. I draw fanart mostly to connect to people in the fandom so if you ever see me drawing fanart please take it as like an open invitation to talk to me about the character haha.
20. How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.)
Good!!! I have a lot of self-confidence primarily born out of ignorance and a short attention span. If I don’t think too hard about how many other artists are mindblowingly unfathombly good... its easy to think I’m good too! LOL
In all seriousness though, I think the opinion a person has of their art is like a crazy balancing act, right? Like you have to think you suck enough to want to get better but also you have to think you’re good enough to not want to give up. I think we’re all walking that line, I know I am! But also I’m a glass half-full type of person so. Most of the time I feel good about it.
22. List at least one of your “artspirations.”
This is a good question because I’ve been trying and failing to put together one of those “influence map” memes for like a full month now. What’s giving me a hard time is I feel like none of these are actually really obvious “““influences”““ in my art? Like it’s hard to see a lot of them in the work I make...? But idk maybe you guys’ll see what I can’t.
And these are just a couple! God there’s so many more. I could talk about other artists for ages, from all different genres of art. Daumier, Rockwell like every illustrator out there, Dana Gibson, Alex Toth, Hiroshi Yoshida, a lot of the Brandywine School. Lots of current working artists too, Karl Kerschl, frikkin Masashi Kishimoto lol, Jake Wyatt, Richie Pope, Edouard Caplain, Matt Cook, Sachin Teng, - lots of big internet artists, Sophie Li, Freddy Carrasco, Milliofish, Angela Sung... like all my friends from art school too. I could just keep going but I’ll stop for now lol.
24. Do you have a shameful art past? (recolour sprite comics, tracing art, etc.)
I mean if that’s how we’re defining shameful?? sure LOL. It’s not sprite comics but I used to do pokemon sprite recolors all the time. And I used to trace manga panels and color them... Granted this was all when I was like under 12 yrs old so it’s not even embarrassing. Can you really call it shameful when a 7 year old wets the bed or whatever? Not really. In fact some of these are cool as fuck. Look
25. Draw a picture!
Man I’m so tired now but here.
I used to get a lot of compliments for drawing people smiling lol but I don’t think I’ve drawn a lot of smiling lately.. here’s proof I’ve still got it.
OK MEME DONE. onto the rest.
I read this ask first thing when i opened my computer in the morning and it made me really emotional.. I’m so glad my sketches could help you!!
I think a lot of artists on social media talk about the struggle of making art but imo not enough people talk about the joy! Like I know it’s corny but. I really meant what I said at the beginning of that sketchbook about re-contextualizing art around process and progress > product and perfection. I think its super important..! The strength of messy, unfinished, and energetic art! For the feeling of it, for the love it!
That's crazy!!! I hope you like 'em. The whole line of x-books is really good rn imo.
Hi! I totally have the answer for digital stuff on my faq lol. But in terms of drawing on paper.. it varies! I tend to use sketchbooking and any on-paper doodling I do as a way to loosen up/warm-up or experiment. But right now my go-to aresenal is:
from top > bottom
- kuretake no.55 doublesided brush pen
- tombow fudenosuke
- muji 0.38 ballpoint
- medium size poscas
- grey tombow double brush pens
- good ol bic mechanical pencil
not EXACTly sure which inking you referring to from my sketchbook but if I had to take a guess it'd probably be the kuretake no55. That's been my main inker, lately. Great for sketching with the thin end too.
You can print out and eat my art if you like. Just please don't mass produce or re-sell. <3
Thanks! I've come to accept that my art is always gonna be sort of gestural and painty naturally. It's getting it to tighten up enough to be legible that's hard lol...
uh yeah lol I agree actually. I think yolei is great.
I assume these asks are related? LOL
1) Yeah totally true. I love David.
2) I don’t take requests, sorry! But if you want to commission me to draw Legion i would be MORE than happy to. Just e-mail me at [email protected].
<33333333333333333333333333
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Mmmmm
I'm having a good time working on this commission, but i don't know whether i should take that as a sign that i should loosen the gates a bit and be open to accepting more commissions in a more official capacity instead of just telling everyone who asks 'yeah sometimes'
There's a feeeew.. factors at play here.. that just.. idk i'm cautious about my proverbial eyes being bigger than my proverbial stomach y'know?
Like.. I'm slow.. as an artist? My speed can vary certainly but if you want anything done Nicely i'm a bit of a snail... It can take me WEEKS to get something done if my hands+mind aren't cooperating, or if i get in one of those loops where i just don't have Time for anything.. sometimes it's a reasonable slowness and sometimes it's like... A Bit Much and I know people can be patient but it's not necissarily something i would want to Risk
I also know that i have a Lot of personal projects i want to get done and i don't want to take up all my limited working time doing commissions and sideling everything i'm working on otherwise, cause that's the fastest route to me burning out and falling away from art.. there's a Reason i have ended up casting aside any ideas about working in animation or game development, hell, even traditional publishing to a degree or traditional freelance, because art for me is by and large about getting whats in my head Out of my head, not the act of creating itself...
Which makes it kinda feel like commissions are something i should do.. once i'm already a full time artist for myself and have the time to split? Which seems counterintuitive....
As it stands though i have to scrape out my art time out around my day job and life needs and what i'm able to scrape is sacred and limited. i just don't work fast enough to make the most of it.. particularly if i'm handelling a queue of folks and not just one or two people on special request... It just wouldn't be good for me or my potential clients
which is kinda a TL:DR of my concerns i guess...
But on the flip side.. money for my work is.. Nice.. making people happy with my art is Really Nice (i just think about how i feel about my commission from Lucy and it's like AH! I wanna do that for people, and people seem to want it!)
if we face another lockdown it would be reeeeal helpful if i can't get back on EI or if they've changed the system, and i'm going to be making a job transition soon hopefully and maybe that will lessen the burden of my Time Problems, and it would help cover that transition period if anything gets Loopy.. plus the experience is good! In a professional capacity..
And it might be fun who knows! I have more of a.. Niche now, there's definitely stuff people Want Me Specifically For (okay "stuff" it's heisenberg.. probably.. but i'm happy to oblige! I work best when i'm invested in the things i'm working on, which was a problem last time around) it could be a good experience to branch out a lil, take in other ideas, not have to come up with everything and still draw excellent picture of the metal husband and/or other people's OCs! Or the other lords! Or whatever people want really! It's got the potential to be enjoyable!
I've grown a lot since the last time i tried to open commissions, and so idk maybe it would be different! But I don't want to let these lofty ideas get into my head for something that just may not be realistic for me... GAH
Hhhhh....
They'll stay on an ask-and-see-if-i'm-available status for now.. and of course those who've already approached me take precident when they want somethin', but i'll keep thinking about it..
Who knows! Maybe like most things that happen to me, I won't get to make the choice and i'll be forced into a position where i Have to open them!
#monster noises#my limited time i think is the root of all my concerns#if i wasn't so constrained by that i think i'd be way more open to putting out the word publically#still don't think i could handle a queue any larger than 3 people at once thought#even THAT feels iffy#and not that i think That Many people would be interested#it's just that.. enough Have been over the last few months to get the wheels turning#it always feels like the highest compliment to get those asks.... like holy shit! people want to put down Money? for MY art??????#like.. wow....#pricing too.. i'm just now thinking.. would be an issues#i know what i'be quoted to people is Way undercharging myself#(especially because i mainly do traditional commissions which can be much more labour intensive and challenging#but are easier for me to focus on)#but i absolutely do not know how/what to charge to get a good baseline of Reasonable but Afforable#like what are Most people willing to spend on (continuing yo make the assumption about subject matter here) fanart?#admittedly special and often personal fan art granted but None The Less#what would they pay? what can they on average afford?#i know what I would pay (the answer it Quiet a Bit - I love supporting artists) but i'm not a good means measurement for Anything#how do i deal with shipping???!!?!#there's so many questions @~@
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Ratatouille Voice: "Anyone Can Draw"
Okay idk I'm not a professional artist, I don't even consider myself "good", though I've made some pieces I'm proud of. [Shameless link if you wanna see how full of shit I am.] But I honestly truly believe that anyone can draw, and anyone can improve. Yeah, you might not be where you want to be, but if you really want to get better, let's harness that "feeling bad about my art" and turn it into drive "so I'm gonna do something about it"!
I've been drawing off an on for over a decade, but I've really improved in the last 3 years, and here's what I think happened:
I learned to 3D model fast. Which is to say, I learned to turn shapes over in my mind and figure out how slight changes in angle affected what I see. I can't conjure images in my head very easily or with much detail, so learning to layer details and give volume to an idea in my mind was a huge hurtle I never realized I had until I uhh had a senior project that required me to face and then get over it.
I started making deliberate decisions about what I wanted. (Ie, my art isn't a passive experience "i guess this is how things are", I started making choices of what I wanted it to be like.
I stopped mindlessly practicing - I started doing research and doing very deliberate practice and experimentation. I did research, I found videos, and I chose what I spent time on. I tried different combinations, I drew low-stakes sketches that no one had to see. I also stsrted doing warm ups!! It matters!!
And I know this doesn't sound like the "ideal" that art should be spontaneous and natural and I feel it too. But I don't have talent, so I have to work at it. And I am a PhD student in a non-art field, so I have limited time - so I have to work smart.
Part 1
So I know 3D modeling isn't really accessible, approachable, and all that (it's also not not accessibly, i just learned school of hard knocks so I literally cannot teach anyone how to do it); but I also don't think it's necessary. What you need to do is draw still life. Yes, its not the fan art you want to draw, but it will help! (And I do not suggest starting with your anime figures either, use simple kindergarten shapes.)
Learn to draw things you see in your room, go pick stock photos and recreate them. Trace parts only to learn how the lines come together, duplicate from sight!
I strongly advocate taking up charcoal if you can, it teaches you how to think not just about the thing you are drawing, but think about it in reference to its surroundings.
https://youtu.be/KD2v0Dwg2og
https://youtu.be/nkDObgH6ixg
https://youtu.be/emcO79uteN4
Part 2
This is the one where you gotta swallow your pride and ideals, and look at things practically. If you want to be in an art industry or just help yourself feel better about your hobby, your art should never be an "accident".
And what that means is that you chose to draw faces like that, you chose to use darker thicker lines, etc. "That's just how I draw x" as a response to art criticism is a really bad sign. But if you've already decided that you aren't happy with your art, then I think you're already... ready... to make a change - you've already had this "come to earth" uncomfortable epiphany that you probably have some room to grow. And honestly, I love and respect you even more for it!! Everyone can grow, and you have done the hard introspection to say that you want to!
So now we need to start looking at what other artists do that make you admire them? I love how sketchy the lines are in Tite Kubo's Bleach manga is, so I try to emulate it. I'm not stealing his art, I'm learning from it. I love how fluid Katsura Hoshino's D Gray Man is, so I embrace that and try to incorporate it in my scenes. But note: these are "qualities" of the art. I am framing these as "attainable characteristics" that come from the art I can look at. Its not "D Gray Man is pretty, why can't I do that" or "Bleach is so cool, I'm just not good enough".
No! Kill your doubt gremlin!! and start looking at the reasons you love and admire the artists you do. Go on insta, find someone to adore, pour your <3's on their pieces and learn from them by looking at how they use line and shape and tone and whatever.
https://youtu.be/NEvMHRgPdyk
Part 3
So I just kind'a put links where I though they would help, so now I'll list the various playlists that I keep my favorite videos in. The people who make them are good, not always gentle, but they have helped me out a lot.
Remember that things that work for one person may not work for another, but you have to try. If you don't have talent (which tbh is pretty common and is 300% not an insult, just just something I had to accept), you have to work for it. And that sucks, but that's life, and you have to decide if this is worth the effort.
And if it is, I hope this helps you see that you already had the agency to learn this!! It's all free on the internet, because of content creators who want you to learn!!
Anyway, take it or leave it, but this actually worked for me so I thought I'd post about it.
#my big mouth#art#reference#help#i hope this helps someone#learning art#tutorial#tutorials#drawing#manga#sketch#how to draw
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I'm gonna explain one of my TMA playlists bc I've been wanting to do that for several months, and how else am I supposed to procrastinate my animatic project at one in the morning?
(here's the link to the playlist bc I think its pretty slappin')
General:
Body Terror Song By AJJ-
I know that it could technically be a flesh song, but I feel like its a bit more vague than that? if that makes sense?
The Afternoon By Lemon Demon-
there's gonna be a lot of Lemon Demon songs in this lol- This one is also pretty vague, but for some reason it kinda reminds me of Michael specifically? I don't 100% know how to describe it.
thrifted youth By dalynn-
Most of the descriptions/reasonings in the general section are pretty simplistic and vague huh? I guess it just kinda fits the vibe? I might be saying that for a lot of the general ones-
Aurora Borealis By Lemon Demon-
this one reminds me of the season five, kinda feels like a jmart song. (also you'll probably notice that there's not much in the ship theme in this playlist. I like to keep my ship playlists separate from my more general ones, don't know why.)
Under My Skin By Jukebox The Ghost-
just kinda fits the vibe y'know? other than that I don't really know.
Turn the Lights Off By Tally Hall-
i can't actually remember why I put this one specifically- that's a bit unfortunate-
When He Died By Lemon Demon-
This one mostly just fits the vibe, makes me think about the really old Victorian era statements.
Ancient Aliens By Lemon Demon-
again, fits the vibe.
She Doesn't Sleep By Anthony Amorim-
Feels like a random statement tbh. also reminds me of Not!Sasha too.
Nightmare Fuel By Lemon Demon-
funky song- fits the vibe- I don't know what more I can say-
Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic-
I don't remember actually???? I think It was an Elias one??? but thinking about it now that doesn't really make much sense???? I'm gonna keep it tho, fits the vibe, at least it does to me.
Bloody Nose By Jack Conte-
fits the vibe :)
Christmas Kids By Roar-
I think I saw an animatic to this one time? now I can only think of the season one archival staff,,,, my beloveds,,,,
La nuit en matin By OH MU-
imma be honest, I have no idea what this one's actually about, but It lowkey reminds me of the intro music during end of season three- y'know, the clown vibes :D
9 to 5 By Dolly Parton-
Archival staff moment
American Healthcare By Penelope Scott-
I guess it could technically be seen as an End themed one? but I put it on bc I felt like it fit the vibes (are you getting sick of reading vibes? i'm getting sick of typing it)
Butch 4 Butch By Rio Romeo-
mostly just the rat filled piano line,,,,,, and also it fits the vibes to me.
Oblivion By Grimes-
Kinda feels like a statement?? In a way?
Murders By Miracle Musical-
the vibes. hopefully thats the last time i type that for this-
oh yeah woo yeah, we're onto the specific Entities now B) lets start with the one that probably has the most, if not, it sure feels like it-
The Spiral:
Spiral Eyes By Rewenge-
yeahhhh,,,, I know it doesn't really fit the vibes all that well, But the title fits and I like it so-
The Distortionist By Ghost and Pals-
this one is SUPER obvious, but it fits REALLY well in my mind.
Out of Her Head (Outerlude) [From The Film Possibly in Michigan] By Korban Baxter-
I can literally picture this one- I lowkey wanna do an animatic of this one one day.
A Crow's Trial By Vane Lily-
OKAY- so this last one is because it's the song from an absolutely GORGEOUS animation/animatic by Akidachi on YouTube, I ADORE this animation. please watch it omg-
again, I'm like, 90% sure that The Spiral has the most songs on this playlist, definitely not a bias or anything. next up is the mf uhhhh-
The Corruption:
Spiral of Ants By Lemon Demon-
no explanation needed.
Maggot By Slutever-
Mostly just the name, but it's a good song too so-
Sick On Seventh Street By Sarah and the Safe Word-
fits the vibe title and actual song wise.
in retrospect under my skin probably could be here-
The Web:
Redesign Your Logo (Bonus Track) By Lemon Demon-
Feels like a very web song,,,
Boris The Spider By The Who-
Spider,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Spider Dance By Toby Fox-
Yes,,, like from undertale,,,,,,,
i think thats it for the web (i swore there were more,,,,)
The Lonely:
Nobody By Mitski-
C'mon, you didn't think I WOULDN'T put this one on, did you?
This December By Ricky Montgomery-
idk what it is exactly about this one, just,,,, feels correct?
Blue Jay Way By The Beatles-
MANNNNNNN- i love this song, my mom hates it- that's unrelated- but I always just feel like there's fog or like, an eerie sea, or something- while listening to it. it feels very lonely-
I'm a Member of the Midnight Crew (1909) By Eddie Morton-
I have no idea why spotify suggested this song to me, but I will never not find it funny. Anyway- reminds me of the crew on Peter's ship :)
The Stranger:
Rattlesnake By Kabaret Sybarit-
Idk, feels like smth Nikola would sing at jon- idk how else to explain it-
A Mask of My Own Face By Lemon Demon-
pretty self explanatory lolll
The Slaughter:
War Pigs By Black Sabbath-
war.
The Hunt:
The Hunter By Slaves-
maybe this one is because it's because it's litterally called the hunter, and that they say hunter a bunch, but it is fun to listen to-
Teeth By 8 Graves-
I cannot remember my reasoning at this current moment-
The Flesh:
Body By Mother Mother-
the lyrics do be fittin doe
The Dark:
Everything Goes Dark By The Hoosiers-
i mean- everything goes dark- what more do you want me to say-
Dr.Sunshine Is Dead By Will Wood and the Tapeworms-
i think its mostly the song's vibe and the title.
The End:
The Trick to life By The Hoosiers-
the trick to life is not to get too attached to it.
Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world By Will Wood-
remember death.
YOOO OKAY NOW WE'RE ON THE ONES THAT I HAVE ACTUAL THINGS TO SAY ABOUT NOW- at least for the most part-
Characters:
i think i'm gonna go from least to most for this- (spoilers, Jon has the most ones because I care him)
Cryptid Hunt- Demo By Averno, Sushi Soucy-
this one makes me think of the WTGFs,,,,,
You're at the Party (Bonus Track) By Lemon Demon-
makes me think about Micheal Shelley,,,,,,,
Saint Bernard By Lincoln-
Alice "daisy" Toner moment-
Mary By The Happy Fits-
mary keay,,,,,,
there used to be a gerry one too, but the more I heard it in the context of the playlist and him, It just didn't fit,,,,,
Ew it's Elias/jonah time-
The Fine Print By The Stupendium-
capitalism- jk- kinda- Idk, just feels like it fits because he really just kinda,,, doesn't care about his employees-
How Bad Can I Be? from the lorax-
I had to-
Boss 3 from the terraria soundtrack-
Listen- I don't know why- but- it has elias/jonah vibes- the vibes are fowl, but the song is good.
Ruler of Everything By Tally Hill-
Panopticon/eyepocolypes time-
Ayooo it's jon time- I really hope I can write out my thoughts in a way that makes any kind of sense- /foreshadowing
A Sadness Runs Through Him By The Hoosiers-
Goddddd,,,,, he's just kinda filled with sadness and survivors guilt, just like, all the time huh?
Home By Cavetown-
the lyrics are just- very him- like- I just gjbdjgsflkjns-
Broken Crown By Mumford & Sons-
frick- the foreshadowing was accurate- the best I can describe it is that the lyrics just???? y'know??? hhh why am I like this sometimes-
Sweet HIbiscus Tea By Penelope Scott-
i'm willing to bet that he never wanted to be the main character-
Honey I'm Home By Ghost and Pals-
I saw a Jon centric animatic to this one time- I can't for the life of me remember who by, But everytime I hear the moth lines, my brain goes ":0" Because I remember there was a time when people kept drawing moth jon- I don't know where that came from but I thought it was very cool.
Who Are You, Really? By Mikky Ekko-
I'm like- actually starting to get frustrated with how poorly im articulating my thoughts right now- this just isn't funny anymore-
Sleep By My Chemical Romance-
I'm not actually sure why for this one- I just remeber putting on my black parade CD, hearing this, and being like, "damn, that do kinda be jon tho-"
I hope you enjoyed my ramblings- tbh, all this sounded and read out better in my head. My words might not make sense, but I do like how the playlist is. also im very tired, maybe this would've been written better if I wasn't struggling to keep my eyes open lol. I'm gonna fall asleep now- or maybe i'll post a spiral themed doodle dump again, who knows. I don't know.
#tma#oh god im literally too tired to put so many tags#i just cant#the magnus archives#playlist#spotify#spotify playlist#my brain actually hurts#im so tired
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Quick listing of other stuff I used to work on and that I NEED to get back to working on otherwise I'll be drawing sth stuff only until the year ends
Think you saw someone else post these on Amino? Well yeah that was me. I was in the IZ and AHIT Aminos for a while but ended up not lasting long there XD
(This will be a longer post than what I usually do but it will have some art and au concepts for multiple fandoms so eh take a shot if u want
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👏DRAW👏MORE👏HOLLOW KNIGHT👏STUFF
I really wanna draw more Hollow Knight stuff. I absolutely fell in love with literally everything about the game. The art style is so gloomy but enchanting at the same time, the soundtrack is just phenomenal, fluid animations and a intricate story.
I've only drawn sealed vessel yet because they are my daddy issues and trauma and I get to project them onto what character I want and I legit just like his design a lot.
Invader Zim au I never properly fleshed out ❤💙💛
I remember having this IZ au where for shit's and giggles but also aesthetic reasons, our normal Dib, Pilot!Dib and Zib were triplets while still having Gaz as a younger sister. Again it was more for the aesthetic of it than anything else XD I did have a plan to said au but I left it back on the IZ Amino and I'd have to download the app just to go get it hhhhhh-
I did make some art for it. It's a bit old by now but it still holds up a bit XD
Another au I have for A Hat In Time but ehh? 💜💙💛
I've been kinda falling out of the AHIT fandom. I think the whole reason I was there was a 5 month hyperfixation on Snatcher XD still I was on that Amino as well and made an au as well. I always go for aus whenever I enter a fandom; I'm not comfortable enough to make an oc yet so I start of by doing that first.
The au was about how after Hat Kid finishes the level in Vanessa's Manor, the queen actually chases after her all the way back to Subcon Forest. Snatcher tries to fight off Vanessa, but she actually proves to be much stronger than him. In a moment of panic and desperation that he can't simply get her out of there, guy's sass completely falls apart and he just angrily vents out at her. However, this time, Vanessa actually listens to him. It's been so long since she had last seen her prince, might as well try.
They somewhat patch things up, reuniting the kingdom under the condition that Snatcher will be the one in control now and Vanessa will just stand on the sidelines. She agrees cuz she's just happy to have her prince back. The au kicked off with this premise, a few years after Hat Kid leaves the planet when she mysteriously crashes right back on Subcon Forest.
This one actually had like two small stories to it I had fully written, which is unusual because I don't usually write that much. I might finish it just for the heck of it but that'll be it.
Ocs & Other fandoms cuz wow🤍🖤
I would just love to have the chance to develop ocs here, but tumblr is a little bitch to original stuff. The "algorithm" because idfk what else to call it favors fanart above anything else, so getting other stuff out there is kinda hard. Maybe I'll start doing that as well just hhh remember that not a lot of people might see it XD
I'm also missing out on a bunch of other fandoms I don't really pay much attention to anymore XD I'm a casual fan of a lot of stuff, so eh expect some random things here once in a while
JUST WRITE SOMETHING DAMMIT
Hi again I do really really love writing. Reignited that passion a while ago when I started to rp again (thanks @cyro-starfire XD) so I wanna get back to actually writing stuff. Problem is: idk what to write about. I did pick up a book my mom told me I might like so I'm trying to do that now-
Idk this is a vague one but it's just to remind myself that yeah I mainly draw but I also like to do other stuff XD
Get back to FNAF and BATIM cuz new games are coming out this year 💜🖤
I cannot STRESS enough how much of a BATIM fan I was back in the day XD I left the Amino due to some drama but I'm still planning on returning if the new game catches my attention. Also keeping an eye out for FNAF cuz I'll definitely come back to that due to the game and movie that are in the works.
I'm not exactly planning to return to the Amino itself but just start posting about said games. I don't really like that place anymore -0-'
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Oof I think that was it. Tagging this will be a pain in the ass XD
#multi fandom#multifandom#hk#hollow knight#sealed vessel#iz#invader zim#iz au#invader zim au#dib membrane#pilot dib#zib#ahit#a hat in time#ahit au#a hat in time au#hat kid#snatcher#vanessa#moonjumper#batim#bendy and the ink machine#ocs#original chatacter#maggy moment#apparently you can only have 30 tags?#the more you know#art#doodle
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thanks for the tag @willroland :)
why did you choose your url?
well i grew up on the internet in the early 2010s so i was obsessed with starkid which lead to musical theater in general which lead to dear evan hansen which lead to will roland which lead to be more chill which lead to joe iconis and that hasn’t lead anywhere else because i’m so far up this man’s ass he could tell me to jump and i’d give him 5 million dollars for a bloodsong of love revival.
anyway.
funny enough it was because i was so up will roland’s ass that i gave joe iconis’ music outside of bmc a chance (back when he tweeted out a thread of joe iconis songs the night before the tonys). and he was right. he has taste even if all i see from him nowadays is globe twitter.
anyway.
never heard nothing (along with the bar song, try again, and last on land) is the quintessential joe iconis song in my humble opinion. but also my opinion is backed up by joe so. i’ll just let him say it.
here’s a link to the song. listen to it if you have any interest in joe iconis and his work.
any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them
yeah this is actually a sideblog.
my main is @cockbiteproductions which is personal + rooster teeth. every day i want to throw rocks at mcyt fans but i myself am a rooster teeth fan and so my house is very glass and breakable.
and then there’s marvel @sebastianskywalker (can you guess who was excited by the idea of sebastain stan playing young luke? lol).
star trek @jimtiberivskirk.
star wars @fulcrumahsoka.
anime @kvchiki.
and that’s the important ones. i use this one and my main the most though. which is already almost not at all these days.
how long have you been on tumblr?
hahahahahaha. 2012. fuck.
do you have a queue tag?
yeah it’s “swiss fucking queue” which is from when michael jones says “swiss fucking cheese goddammit” in his impossible game rage quit. everyone on my main gets it but i hope anyone who sees it on my sideblogs gets confused because it’s the same queue tag across all my blogs.
why did you start your blog in the first place?
i was about to say “well my first blog was fandom” and then i realized that applies to literally all of them. so yeah. fandom. i generally make a sideblog when i want to make new fandom friends because none of my current friends are into the thing i am into. it works well.
why did you choose your icon/pfp?
will roland. because will roland. when my bio said “joe iconis and will roland” it wasn’t lying. but anyway i like projecting on characters wrol plays.
why did you choose your header?
it’s off this set lol. same photoshoot as the one from my icon.
what’s your post with the most notes?
lol it’s this shit gifset i made of nik dodani as jared in the deh movie trailer. he actually reposted a video of him scrolling through it on his insta story. which is unfortunate because it looks like shit. i usually have flux on while using any device and i turned it off while making this but i guess my brain is just fucked about it now because it’s 1. way not bright enough 2. way too yellow. ugly as shit.
how many followers do you have?
on this blog? uh i think getting close to 400 idk tho. idc. i just come here to scream about musical theater i rarely care about clout.
how many people do you follow?
idk around 750. a girls gotta sustain like 5 different blogs. that + never using tumblr anymore means i never see what anyone posts ever unless i go to their blog directly lol.
have you made a shitpost?
this blog is 1/3 shitpost 1/3 rando reblogs 1/3 ranting about joe iconis shit no one else cares about
how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?
im spiteful so it’s an immediate no reblog from me. but i also dont really blog about social justice or anything much anymore. so unless a post has drastically altered how i think about a topic for the better i dont reblog it.
do you like tag games?
yeah! they’re fun. i’ll take any opportunity to talk about myself. + i generally learn something about the person who tagged me.
do you like ask games?
yeah! i get too anxious about reblogging them though lol i dont want people to think i want attention even though im an evil little attention whore.
which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
famous? on this sideblog? no one lol. not necessarily famous but @nothingunrealistic is probably one of the people that has the most longevity in the deh fandom on here so they have a decent amount of followers from that i assume. @unproduciblesmackdown and @kkamikazed also draw good fucking art so they get clout like that lol. i think @annabelle--cane is also like. decently large? idk. no one in this tiny niche subsection of musical theater tumblr is really tumblr famous though. that’d be a nightmare lol. wait there might be one person i think that’s a sideblog but i can’t remember who lol.
do you have a crush on a mutual?
thank fucking god no. could you imagine?
well i already mentioned @nothingunrealistic @unproduciblesmackdown @kkamikazed and @annabelle--cane earlier so i guess them. only if yall wanna tho. also @talkfine @rovermcfly if yall wanna do this. and anyone who wants to talk about themself go for it.
#teresa talks#oh hang on#about me#hang on wait maybe. talkfine and you can bond over the whole mcyt + musical theater thing actually
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Survey #336
"get back, you’re never gonna leave him / get back, you’re always gonna please him”
What were your favorite things to draw when you were a lil kid? When I was a very little kid, idk. But once I got into meerkats... I drew them like crazy.
Do you think there is something with or around you, like a spirit, angel, ghost or something else? How does this make you feel? No.
Imagine you’re a stranger looking at yourself. What things would immediately catch your eye? Ugh, let's not.
When did you feel the most confident in your life? Probably my senior year of high school. I was happy with Jason with plans for the future together, I was doing excellently in school... I thought I was really going to go somewhere.
Do you think love is needed to have good sex? For some people, no. For me, loving one another is an absolute must.
Do you think, or want to, die in the city you currently live in? Fuuuuuuuck no, I hate it here.
What is the strangest thing you have ever encountered? Probably when I was otw home from my doctor appointment and we passed a random guy in drag walking on the side of the street... That guy is an icon.
Favourite soft drink? It's really strawberry Sunkist, but I love it to a degree I don't even allow myself to drink it, because I will fucking destroy that shit so quick. So I tend to just say Mountain Dew Voltage is my fave.
What do you like to put gravy on? I hate gravy, period.
Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? No, but it sounds fun.
What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? Uhhhh idk.
Who depends on you the most? My snake.
Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Yes; William Clark and Queen Victoria or Queen Elizabeth, idr which.
Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? Mom. She only has one kidney, so, y'know. She kinda needs at least one. I wouldn't even hesitate.
What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Unconditional love.
What three things do you think of most of each day? My weight is #1. Every second of every day, it, as well as Jason, are somewhere towards the front of my mind. The final is financial and job-oriented stuff.
Does/did your high school have pop machines? It did.
Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? No.
Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yeah.
How often do you use Flickr? I pretty much abandoned my account; nowadays I only occasional check my friend's profile who works at the Kalahari Meerkat Project because she uploads wonderful pictures of the 'kats as well as gives interesting info about them!
Who is the last child that you took a photo with? Mom took a picture of me holding my youngest niece Emerson because it surprised everyone; I NEVER hold babies. She crawled over to me and reached up though, so of course I was going to pick her up.
How often do you wear hats? Never.
Would you ever get a nature tattoo? Sure! Idk what, but I'm rather sure I'll get at leaast one.
Is anyone in your family sick at the moment? No.
Where do your siblings work, if anywhere? My older sister is a mammographer, and my younger sis is a social worker.
Where is your favorite place to buy groceries? Wal-Mart, I guess.
Who do you generally talk to the most? My mom.
Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname? Mom is "Mama Bear," and then my siblings are "Little Sister" and "Big Sister."
Whose birthday is coming up? My lil sister has her birthday in April.
Have you ever ordered from an informercial? No.
When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin? I needed to get blood drawn for some testing. It was drawn from my inner elbow, obviously at the doctor.
Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? I never have, but it'd be fun. I enjoy puzzles.
How many followers do you have on Instagram? I don't feel like checking.
What’s the most recent music video you watched? Thoughts? "Mutter" by Rammstein. I picked a screenshot from it to draw, so I rewatched it to select one. It's a beautiful video, but also strange, which Rammstein is great at.
Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? No.
What makeup products are your go-tos? If I wear makeup, the bare minimum is black eyeliner.
Are you going to school this year? No. I gave college as many shots as I could handle both sanity-wise and with finances in mind. I do NOT want to even ATTEMPT to imagine the debt I have after going to three different colleges and dropping out each time.
What is your favorite water activity? I enjoy just kinda swimming around aimlessly, relaxing.
What are your favorite video games? Okay, I talk about SH2 and SotC enough on questions like this, so I'll mention some others I really enjoy as well: the Silent Hill franchise in general, Spyro games, The Last Guardian, both The Evil Withins, The Last of Us, some Resident Evil games (the 4th in particular), etc. etc. I just love video games.
Do you like jello? I enjoy the flavor, but the texture makes me squirm.
When was the last time you gave someone "the finger?" Probably while riding in the car with Mom when a dumb motherfucker swerved into our lane. Or something like that, idr the exact occasion.
Have you ever held a snake? Yesssss, I want to hold all the snakes. ;_;
Most unique place you’ve ever been to? Uh. I guess maybe the Whirligig Park/"Acid Park" nearby us? It's just this large expanse of unique architecture that are mostly, as you guessed it, extravagant whirligigs. You've got to see it if you come to the town. I have some pictures on my deviantART if you wanna see a few pieces.
If you were a superhero, what color would your cape be? NO CAPES!
Have you ever slept out on your porch all night? Oh fuck no. I'd feel way, way too unsafe.
Do you like horror movies? Yeah!
What’s your favorite Coke product? Just normal Coke.
Watergun or water-balloon war? Watergun. I don't like being hit with stuff.
Do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators? I kind of am.
Is there anything in your room that belongs to a boyfriend, or a friend of the opposite sex? I have three plushies from Jason, Tyler, and Girt. My Marilyn Manson poster is also from Juan.
Who’s your favorite Beatle? I don't know; I was never a big fan, so I don't know any of them as people well at all.
Have you ever texted an ex whilst drunk? How’d that go? I've never been drunk, but no, I've never texted an ex because I was drinking.
Do you have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss your boyfriend? I don't have one. The only instance where I had to do that was with Girt. Tall motherfucker.
Have you ever been tackle-hugged? Yes. Those are the best.
Have you ever rejected someone’s kiss before? Girt once tried to make out with me and I noped the fuck outta that situation. It was so fucking awkward.
Is your mood or the overall tone of your day often affected by the dreams you had the night before? My nightmares definitely can.
Do you think that there are any positive aspects or outcomes of suffering from a mental illness? If you have a mental illness, do you think it has changed you for the better in any way? I definitely believe my mental illnesses forced me to mature faster and also instilled a great sense of empathy in me. And don't forget emotional endurance.
What is your opinion on celebrity culture and celebrity worship? Have you ever been guilty of putting a celebrity on a pedestal? Do you think it’s somehow more acceptable/understandable to obsess over certain types of celebrities (musicians over YouTubers, say) than others? At what point do you think an obsession like that crosses the line? It's dangerous and can be very blinding. An outsider could say I put Mark on a pedestal, but I've always been very aware that he's not perfect and really just another human, I just happen to love him a lot for the human he is, haha. As time's passed, my vision of him has become healthier though (not to say it ever reached the "unhealthy" threshold); it's gotten easier for me to judge him and stuff like that. I think an obsession crosses the line when you put on rose-tinted glasses to look upon someone and entirely ignore their flaws, or if you try to invade their personal lives, ex. being one of those creeps that loiter outside their houses and stuff.
If you were to pursue a career in photography and had the opportunity and means to photograph whatever you wanted, what would most like to photograph? Ah, livin' the dream. If I had to choice and would be paid well regardless of focus, I would absolutely travel and photograph the local nature/wildlife.
Is there a certain type of clothing (outerwear, activewear, loungewear, etc.) that you enjoy shopping for more than others? Shirts, 100%.
Are you ever afraid to post your ideas, artwork, photography, etc. online for fear that they will get stolen or not credited? When it comes to OCs, yes, given that things have been stolen from me before. Photography doesn't worry me much because I don't think I'm good enough for someone to possibly want to steal it (and besides, I use a watermark), and I do the same for drawings. It's the unique characters I make I worry about being stolen if I share them.
When is the last time you did something sexual? A few years back.
Who is the last person you showered with, if anyone? I haven't showered with someone since I was a little kid and my younger sister and I would to conserve water.
What do you think when you see roadkill on the side of the road? It really makes me genuinely sad, and I always wonder if it could have been avoided if the driver was more alert, slower, and thinking about more than the damage it could cause to their car... I enjoy photographing roadkill, brutal as it may be, out of respect for them and the desire to make their individual stories known and just kind of like, raise awareness of it. Too many people are just annoyed by hitting an animal versus more concerned. "Stupid deer," stuff like that. I sometimes worry that doing so can be interpreted as disrespect, to photograph and publish pictures of their corpses online, but I sure hope not. It's the least of my intentions. I just want people to see and care.
Have you ever had an ex that just didn’t understand that it was over? Biiiitch I was that ex, 120%. But besides my situation with Jason, this was how Tyler was. I had to tell him about five thousand times to stop texting me.
Are your fingernails currently short or long? They're always pretty short.
Would you rather have big or small dogs? I like medium-sized dogs most. I'd have to pick large dogs between the two, though.
What is your favorite sports drink? I'm not a fan of sports drinks.
What was the last compliment you gave a guy? Yesterday, a guy in PHP shared two poems he wrote while hospitalized, and they were wonderful, so full of passion and emotion. I sure as hell told him they were amazing. He's going for his Master's for poetry, so he knows what he's doing for real.
Does your jaw ever crack, pop, or lock? It's popped on very, very few occasions.
Have you ever thought of how you would give your kids “the talk”? I don't want kids, so no, I've never thought of this. I certainly wouldn't wait for sex ed in school, though. I feel like it's a bit late. I feel children need to know what it's about at a younger age with how disgusting some people are... I want them to be informed on what consent and molestation are so they know to let Mama know so I can punch someone's face into a whole new galaxy if they're ever violated.
Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on something? Oh, always.
Do you ever write/draw on windows that are fogged up? I did as a kid, sure. Not so much now.
If you were married, and your spouse’s parents became ill, would you let them move into your home? If they were truly sick enough to need assistance but not actual hospitalization, yes. I'd want my spouse to do the same for me.
Have you screamed in a pillow before? Yyyyep.
What do you like more, acoustic or electric? Electric.
Did you actually have a cookie jar? We have a Santa one, though I don't even know if we ever used it versus just having it as a decoration.
What’s worse, having someone mad or disappointed in you? Disappointed.
What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails? Bottom lip.
Do you think that knowing when and how you’re going to die would ruin your life? "Ruin" it seems a bit extreme, but I definitely wouldn't like it.
Do you have a favorite bromance? From TV or a movie. Not really, if we're only talking those two options.
Do you find flea markets and thrift stores enjoyable? Yeah, you really can find the coolest shit for great prices.
What color is your wallet? Mostly red and white; it's a Harley Quinn design.
Have you ever been somebody's photography subject? No.
Nicki Minaj fan? I believe she's a very talented rapper, but I don't enjoy her actual music. I just don't like rap.
Have you ever seen the Niagara Falls? No, I wish tho.
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angst&hurt/comfort, where scout is anxious and doubts his skills, so he tries to calm himself by holding/hugging/whatever his plushie (or something else, idk), whilst someone is trying to get to him, to make him confess what is bothering him? idk if you wanna make it a ship ir maybe dad spy, ily -🦂
oh dude you already KNOW dad!spy hours are 24/7 up in here. welcome to “projecting RSD onto Scout TF2 episode 85″
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Stupid summer, stupid break, stupid losing streak. Stupid everything.
Usually Scout was excited about breaks. A week or so of getting to be off work, heading home to visit family or going on a road trip or whatever was happening. It was nice, he loved it. But this time they had explicit orders from their boss not to go anywhere or do anything. To stay on base or to go specifically exclusively to the store in the nearest town for food or whatever. He hated it. The base was too small to hang out in for more than a few days at a time. He hated it.
And not to mention that they’d finished off work on a bad note. A day of losses turning into a week of losses, half the team scrambling to try and pull together enough to get one last good push in before the break and the other half deciding to just accept the loss and do better once they got back.
And every day after battle Soldier would single out someone who wasn’t on top of their game and lecture them. And all week, instead of going for the people who were largely slacking off and not breaking their necks to try and get them some actual wins, he went after Scout, who was so frantic that he kept making stupid mistakes.
And he just... usually he argued about it, and got in a fight with Soldier, but he just... didn’t have the energy for it. The day was over. They’d lost. And Scout knew it wasn’t entirely his fault, but it kind of felt like it. Maybe if he’d tried just a little bit harder, pushed himself just a little further, he could’ve gotten the rest of the team motivated. Maybe they all would’ve picked things back up and tried too. But he couldn’t do it.
It was frustrating. He knew his job, beyond what he did on the field, was trying to keep morale up. He kept music playing, he was always up for hanging out or playing a few hands of poker or headed into town with someone to get shitty fast food. And he tried really hard to be funny and to keep things lighthearted, tried so fucking hard to keep spirits up. And he knew if he said anything about it, pointed out how literally like all of his time was spent trying to make sure everyone was feeling okay, it would...
He didn’t know. Maybe they’d just tell him off for being whiny or whatever. Maybe it would stop working so well, if they knew he was always doing it so extremely on purpose, so intentionally. He didn’t know.
But at that moment, he was feeling so much like utter garbage that he knew he had to just avoid the team so he didn’t drag the mood down further. Usually they didn’t really miss him anyways, other than idly asking if he’d gotten into any trouble while he was off doing “whatever he did”. All he knew was that him feeling like shit around everyone else would just make them feel bad too. And it was break anyways—maybe they’d just end up feeling better on their own. Especially since he wasn’t around to interrupt them.
He had plenty of food in his room, mostly chips and candy bars and stuff like that, stuff he didn’t want the guys stealing. And he’d totally share if they asked, for sure, but for that moment he was mostly just digging through the hoard for himself and doing not much of anything else.
He felt like kind of an idiot, sitting alone and eating his feelings like some kind of angsty teen in a movie or the chick in the romcom who just got broken up with. But there was nobody there to ridicule him except himself. And he did, but... the point stood.
A few days passed like that. He had food, he had the little bathroom connected to his room, he had comics to entertain himself. He slept a lot, mostly. Felt like garbage. Read some comics. Ate chocolate about it. Slept some more. He left a few times to do a few assorted things—called home like he did every week, went into the common room late one night to grab some of his records back so he could listen to them.
At one point, he got a knock on his door. He didn’t answer, couldn’t seem to find the energy to. A second knock when the first was unanswered after about twenty seconds. He still didn’t move.
The next day, another knock. This one was accompanied by words. “Scout? I know you’re in there,” Spy called, sounding annoyed.
To be honest, Scout was pretty sure he didn’t have the energy to deal with whatever Spy was about to lecture him about. So he just rolled over.
“You’ve missed every team meal for almost four days. You’re being rude,” Spy declared.
Scout reached off the side of the bed and picked up a plushie that had fallen down. It was a big, chunky pig, and he’d won it when he and Pyro had gone out to a fair and he’d knocked the ball toss game out of the park. Pyro had taken three of the plushies he’d won, and insisted he keep the fourth for himself.
He felt like even more of a dumb baby, sitting there cradling a stuffed animal like he was scared to head off to his first day of kindergarten, but he was already too tired and filled with vague unrest for it to get to him much.
At some point he heard a heavy sigh and the clack of fancy shoes moving away down the hallway, and Scout relaxed.
Twenty minutes later, a knock.
“Scout, let me in,” Spy said firmly.
“Fuck off, Spy,” Scout snapped.
“Scout, if you don’t open the door, I’m going to,” Spy declared.
“Bullshit.”
A heavy sigh, and then a few moments later the door swung open.
“What the fuck?” Scout asked, lifting his head to glare towards the door as Spy stepped inside.
“I know how to pick locks, Scout. You know this.” Spy squinted to try to get used to the light, the blinds having been drawn. “I’m turning a light on.”
Scout just grumbled, dropping his head back into the plush pig. In his periphery, the light was indeed turned on. There was a beat of silence.
“I brought a plate from dinner. I was concerned you would get scurvy, since you now apparently have the diet of an eight year old child who was given a hundred dollars and left unsupervised at the grocery store,” Spy said dryly.
“I don’t want your fuckin’ handouts, Spy,” Scout muttered, muffled.
“It’s not a handout, it’s the fact that I refuse to have anyone on the team besides me whose teeth are falling out. Take the food.”
“Fuck off.”
Spy sighed again, and after a moment he moved to put the plate on the bedside table. Scout prickled at the proximity, but didn’t give him the satisfaction of looking up.
“I noticed that while you haven’t been at dinner, you still took the time to leave a thumb tack on my chair. Usually when you do that it’s because you’re angry with me. What exactly have I done?”
“I’m not mad at you, I’m just mad,” Scout grumbled.
“You know, it’s very childish to refuse to look at someone when they are trying to talk to you.”
“Guess I’ll just keep being the dumb idiot kid of the team then, huh?” Scout snapped.
Silence for a moment. “Scout. You’ve locked yourself away in your room and refused to come out again for several days. I know that something is wrong. The team does too—they’re starting to worry.”
“That might just be the most obvious lie you’ve ever fuckin’ told me, Spy,” Scout practically spat, and was glad to have his voice muffled, because suddenly it went a little tight.
“Is it that hard to believe that perhaps your teammates care about you?” Spy asked, a little sharply.
“It’s me, in case you haven’t noticed,” Scout said next, getting his voice back under control. “People don’t hang around me on purpose. They put up with me. And then they stop putting up with me at some point.”
“That’s not true,” Spy said, tone leaving no room for argument, but Scout elbowed some argument in anyways.
“All seven of my brothers, every fuckin’ date I’ve ever been on, the standing ban sayin’ I can’t go in Engie’s workshop or in Heavy’s workspace down by the boiler or the infirmary unless I’m actually seriously injured—“ Scout listed off, ticking off on his fingers, keeping his face hidden. “My own fucking dad decided he couldn’t fucking stand me and I was two years old, Spy, what the hell does that tell you? I’m an annoying little piece of shit and that’s all I’m ever gonna be and then one of these days I’m gonna die for real out in this hellhole desert and ain’t a single damn person out here will have ever even bothered to learn the name that’s supposed to go on my gravestone.”
Dead silence in the room. Scout’s arm fell back down by his side. His voice was shaky when he spoke again.
“Nobody’s ever even asked,” he managed. “Demo’s real name is Tavish, Heavy’s real name is Mikhal but his sisters call him Misha. And plenty of you guys get asked about it all the time but you don’t wanna say. And nobody’s ever even fuckin’ asked me.”
Silence for a few more seconds.
“I’m a whole person,” Scout said next. “I’m really into sci-fi. I’ve read every mainline issue comic book ever published after ‘35. I know how to cook and draw and I know the all the stats of every person on every major league baseball team. I was in theater in high school between track and baseball season in the winters and I and got a lead role on some Shakespearicles thing before it got cancelled because of budget cuts. I bet you didn’t even know that.”
“I didn’t,” Spy admitted.
“And why would you? Who the fuck cares? It’s just dumb scrawny idiot Scout, who the fuck cares what his deal is? He can barely do his job and read any word that’s over four syllables, who cares what he does? He ain’t nothin’ today, he must never have been somethin’ in the first place.”
“Scout—“
“Tell me I’m wrong, Spy,” he snapped, voice cracking down the middle.
“You’re wrong. Scout, what’s going on?” Spy asked, and his voice sounded closer, like he’d taken a knee. “What happened?”
He understood, logically, that telling Spy damn near anything was a bad idea. He sold information for a living. But logic hadn’t ever been much help to him, and anyways, he was pretty sure he was about to break down either way, and he could either cry like a dumb little baby and Spy could go to the rest of the team and tell them about stupid Scout and his crying for no reason, or he could at least sort of maybe a little bit sound justified and a little bit less completely unhinged.
“We lost all week because I fuckin’ suck at my job, and we don’t get to go off base for some goddamn reason, and I miss my family, and I—“ God damn it, he hoped to at least get to a second sentence before he broke, but here came the waterworks. “—and I know the team doesn’t give a shit, and if they even noticed they probably think I’m being some idiot baby, and I’m just so fuckin’ tired of all of this, alright? I’m just so goddamn exhausted, all the time, and no matter what I do I can’t make my own stupid, shitty, broken-ass brain shut up, and I...”
There was a hand on his shoulder, now. For some reason that’s what unstuck the sob in his throat.
“And I just miss my mom,” he managed, and sobbed again. “And I know that just makes me a stupid fucking baby—“
“Scout, it doesn’t,” Spy said firmly.
“Bullshit.”
A sigh, less exasperated than the others. “Scout, I miss my own parents. Often. Heavy writes to his mother, the Bushman calls home once a week and stays on the phone for an hour at a time. Do you think they would do that if they didn’t miss them?”
Scout couldn’t seem to find his voice, and just sniffled a little.
“If anything, it’s good that you miss your mother. You are appreciating her now, while she’s still part of your life, rather than later on when she’s gone. That’s a good thing.”
“Here I am cryin’ over dumb shit—“
“The fact that you’re even capable of tears shows that you haven’t completely sealed yourself off from your emotions like several of our testosterone-puppet teammates. I’m fairly certain that Medic surgically removed his own tear ducts. I think Soldier is so dehydrated that he’s incapable of it. And rather than sweat he needs to cover himself in liquid-like food products or else he’ll die of heat stroke.”
Despite everything, that made Scout laugh, just a little. More of a hiccup than anything else.
“Admittedly, you have greater social needs than several of our team, and they need to take breaks. Not just from you, but from everyone. It’s part of being human, everyone requires some amount of time alone or else they start losing their minds. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you—value the things you do for this team, even. Every time someone would like company when going in to town for any reason, they always ask me where you are. And you’ve given good film recommendations to everyone except for the Sniper.”
“Guy hates movies,” Scout defended weakly.
“You keep recommending horror films. As it turns out, he is a fan of romantic comedies.”
“Fuckin’ what? Seriously?”
“I was shocked too. His complete lack of taste in all areas of his life continues to amaze me.”
Scout scoffed at that. A beat of silence.
“What I am saying is that the team doesn’t simply put up with you. You’re impossible to simply put up with, you take up too big a part of everyone’s life here. Instead, they must like and respect you.” A pause. “And your father must have truly been an idiot. Anyone with two eyes would be proud of the challenges you’ve faced and overcome with all of the disadvantages you’ve been dealt over your lifetime.”
Scout sniffled, wiped his eyes with his forearm, finally managed to look up at Spy. “Anyone with two eyes? You sayin’ you’re proud of me, then?” he asked, even if it was a little shaky.
“I feel no strong emotions,” Spy deadpanned.
“Alright, nevermind about earlier. That’s the most obvious lie you’ve ever told me.”
Spy rolled his eyes, standing, brushing off the knee of his suit.
Scout looked at the plate, made a face. “Aw man, what the fuck, is that asparagus? Is Medic back on trying to make us eat healthy again?”
“The Engineer cooked it, stop complaining and just eat it,” Spy said, quickly falling back into his role of naggy just on the near side of patronizing.
“C’mon, it couldn’t have been like, mashed potatoes or broccoli or somethin’?”
“You always douse those things in salt and butter. That combined with the energy drinks means you’re going to get a heart condition before I do.”
“Just get the fuck outta my room, Spy,” Scout huffed, putting the stuffed animal aside and moving to pick up the plate and utensils.
“Very well. And go talk to Demoman at some point, he’s been whining about nobody wanting to go get fast food with him for two days,” Spy said as he walked to the door. “And you can’t borrow my car to go.”
“Fuck you, Spy,” Scout said flippantly, waving him off.
“Fuck you too,” Spy said just as casually, and made sure to close the door behind him.
#tf2#team fortress 2#dad!spy#shut up me#my fanfiction#everybody talks#unrelated to this fic but requests might be a little slow for the next few days. life just got real busy for me
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bmc digital art dump
Basically all the shit I can scrounge up considering I was in this fandom before I had Tumblr
This is band!Michael! I love him. He plays guitar and does backup vocals. He also plays trumpet on the side. Me and my friend Evan were trying to do Expensive Headphones but then there was a lot of drama and forced Stagedorks AND Pupgrade. So..we didn’t make it. Smh they were just tryna eat breakfast.
Another RP-based one! This is Project Player Two, aka Jeremy, created by Michael, who is an engineer. This one was with another friend (and Evan’s girlfriend) named Gold. It was going pretty well but we kinda fell out of it. There was going to be a whole Expensive Headphones thing for Jeremy to get suspicious about but the RP died before we got there. Also Jeremy fucking broke Michael’s TV with a remote.
My most recent one! This is god!Michael. He’s originally from a fantasy RP but me and Evan just decided to turn it into an Expensive Headphones RP. So, it’s demon!Rich x god!Michael, because angel x demon stuff is cool but boring for roleplays. So this is something to spice up the norms. I did this on my school computer, which is way more sensitive to brush strokes than my drawing tablet. Hence why it’s a little more detailed than my other pieces. Oh and fun fact: Michael was alive but died and became reincarnated as a god (he doesn’t know why and it frustrates him). He was a poet in his past life. :)
DUSTY!! I love him lmao. But yeah, this is my headcannon for what he looks like (minus the bleached tips. idk why I did that but I just thought it would look cool). This is the design that I’m using for my BMC fangame Feelin’ Kinda Cocky, btw.
Alright, digging into some of my older pieces. This was for the YouTuber contest on Amino! I don’t think I did the submission right though, bc I really thought this would be mentioned. But oh well. This is Michael and Jeremy as Kryoz and Smii7y! (Note: I don’t ship them. Shipping real people is toxic as hell unless they want to be shipped, like Wilbur Soot and Nihachu. Just thought I’d mention.)
This one isn’t really a full piece of art but I’m still putting it in. This is the art for the quarantine cover of More Than Survive! It was a big project that I’m very proud to have been a part of. Not only did I draw this but I also voiced Jenna, edited the audio together, and made the lyric video. You can find the video here: https://youtu.be/3bGAFtTVaYw?list=PLswS5sUYgqXS9OIkRBrLIi5o9wMvZf2Ug
Ew crusty looking one- Yeah, you can tell this is one of my older pieces because they have the same body type. But it’s not too bad- But yeah, Expensive Headphones! My comfort ship. This is the thumbnail for an animation meme I made on my second YouTube channel (aka, not my main one, yet it has more subscribers). I honestly don’t want to promote it because it sucks ass but if you wanna go look for it, alright, whatever. Just know that I have no fucking clue how to animate but I wanted to make Expensive Headphones content.
I was fucking around with color palettes and made this neat-looking Michael. This image just gives me Glass Animals vibes for some reason. Even if this falls into the old “every character has the same body” line of art, I’m kinda proud of this :)
This one was kind of a lazy one. Another thing I drew on my school laptop. Not much to say other than it looked way better on my school laptop.
Another one from my school laptop. I’m pretty proud of this one! I started the sketch one day, then kinda felt like shit the next day. And so I made some Rich angst. (Also first time I’ve properly drawn messy hair, I think. But it won’t be the last time, course. The Creep comic exists lmao-)
This was literally just a shitpost because I found this fuckin thing so funny:
Behold, my most liked post on the BMC Amino. Pickle Rich.
Alright, this one’s an OC. Me and Gold had a demon hunter!Jake x angel!Jeremy RP. And this was the motherfucker who helped Jake get to Jeremy. He’s a dick and I love him. (Yes I know he looks like a fucking Homestuck character, piss off)
A phone background that I made! Evan used it for a while. Hell, she might still use it. I have no clue. I just thought this little concept was cool and wanted to draw it out.
Me and my girlfriend, Cal, did this a while ago. It was fun lmao- Chuck E Cheese Michael (I can explain) and Goth IHOP Rich :)))
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