#if anyone in my family tells me how

[magpie-to-the-morning]

Really hate that I can’t just be sad without feeling like I’m “throwing myself a pity party,” or want something without feeling needy, or worry that if I reach out too much I’ll be clingy.

#Trying to let myself feel my feelings #which is hard bc I feel like they need to pass #some sort of awfulness threshold to be valid #I know that’s not true #but this is what shoving yourself into a box for 30+ years #does to a person #I want to be taken care of #and I don’t care if that makes me weak #and istg #if anyone in my family tells me how #strong or independent I am again #I am going to scream

[lygma-nygma]

Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.

#this post was inspired by me remembering the experience of reading death in the family #after only knowing the fanbase version and realizing oh none of that shit happened okay #like girl you don’t understand it’s so bad #Jason wasn’t even fired as Robin #He’s not accused of murdering anyone by Bruce #He’s not trying to prove himself at all he’s just looking for his mom #The reason Bruce didn’t go after him right away is because he was tracking down a goddamn nuke the Joker stole #Then after he finds it and handles the problem he helps Jason track down moms 2 and 3 #Also Jason died in like 20 minutes?? even less?? #He died in less time than it took his mother to smoke a cigarette #Bruce literally went ‘wait here I’ll be right back’ and was gone for less time than a trip to the grocery store #and then you go into the Jason Todd tag and they act like Bruce pulled the damn trigger on him #Like besties I don’t know how to tell you this he basically did everything right he possibly could have #Even him benching Jason from Robin temporarily happens so that he can get Jason into therapy about his trauma #Like the whole point is that neither of them did anything wrong bad shit just sometimes happens #That’s the tragedy. The drama. #Bruce couldn’t have made better choices in the position he was in and Jason was never going to make different ones #It was inevitable #Anyway rant over please read death in the family before I lose my mind #batfam #batman #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #damian wayne #bruce wayne

[itwoodbeprefect]

stoic illiterate unwilling assassin deeply in love with unfailingly kind rich sad gay man almost stabs his crush's brother because the brother cares so much and so genuinely for the gay man that he searched assassin's room out of worry and found knives and a mysterious letter before being interrupted by the assassin who then does not want to show him the letter which seems incredibly suspicious, only for a later scene (after the gay man interrupts them and thus stops any escalation from happening) to quietly reveal that the very sus letter in possession of this illiterate assassin is not in fact a sign he's lying about being illiterate.... it's just two pages of him practicing the gay man's name over and over in neatly spaced lines...... a reveal which he was going to STAB a man over because he doesn't know that the gay man's brother knows the man is gay and loves him with his whole heart and would never ever do anything to hurt him........ i will never get over this, how could i ever get over this, everything else ever is going to be downhill from here

#yeah HI. if you are WONDERING. i am still being absolutely destroyed. utterly torn to pieces. smashed into a million happy little bits. by #to sir with love #it's not even the romance. though the romance is excellent and only getting better (and also hilarious. THE CHONBURI SCENES???) #but the siblings!!!! these brothers!!!!! everything in the world is trying to turn them against each other and every time i hold my breath #and every time!! without fail!!!! without hesitation even!!!!!! they go no. i love him and i trust him and he would never hurt me or i him. #and i CANNOT TELL YOU. how hard that's fucking me up. in the best of ways #it would be SO easy in a hiiiigh drama messy family show like this to go the easy route and just have the two sides of the family #actually fully at war with each other. or to have one of these brothers betray the other / let some misunderstanding fester #and 🤞🤞🤞 because i still have a good deal of show to go but so far. oh my goddddd. they choose each other. they choose each other always #anyway. if anyone reads this and is looking for some very high quality actually good soap melodrama. to sir with love is free on youtube

[seventh-fantasy]

friendships as marital ties (and other notes on relational ties) in mlc

this is sort of a third installment in the series of meta on 'mlc as an exemplar of constructing queer narratives out of chinese ideological frameworks' (1. jianghu as queer space and 2. how it manifests in li xiangyi) - focusing on the nature of relationships in it. (which I've briefly mentioned in the first one and finally actually getting to it!!)

-

I would like to first call attention to chinese ideological frameworks as a premise of queer reading in mlc. the goal of chinese philosophy is to explore the becoming of human, taking two broad paths of the (mainstream) secular vs. escaping the secular. (these two paths are not a strict dichotomy, and rather, are ever in flux and in conversation with each other.) as said by @markiafc too, chineseness is so much about the rigidity of structures, and in equal part, a desire to break out of them. thus, chinese ideological frameworks can very much offer a rich reading of queerness - that mlc, a story very deliberately structured based on chinese ideologies (more accurately, with good reasons for me to believe that it is as such), has managed to materialise.

if the conceptualisation of queerness is premised on a defiance against mainstream norms, then a reliable way to read queerness in chinese ideological frameworks can be to deconstruct it by the mainstream confucian frameworks.

in mlc, this is implicitly set up with its stage of wulin/martial jianghu. then it is further broken down by asking, hey wulin jianghu is still closely related to the hegemonic values and the mainstream structure of authority (historically, 侠 xia being politically involved says a lot about this), so what is the true meaning of jianghu? what does it then really take for jianghu to be a queer space offering comfort and freedom to those who have escaped to it - to be the space that allow the transcendence of rigid roles and labels? mlc took a step further to resist the proxy to mainstream values that wulin jianghu has become.

this is why there can be a very strong buddhism reading of mlc (suggested here, expounded in the A+++ meta by @markiafc here and here, and also what I've seen discussed by cnet as well), given that buddhism is one of the 'extra-secular' ideologies, alongside (philosophical) taoism. I've also touched on a taoist angle in this meta. both schools are articulated in different sets of languages, but ultimately convey a same ideal of what it means to be human and how to live well - that is, to resist the roles and labels defined by the norms.

so, back to confucian frameworks.

a lot can be discussed about mlc with it. but in the context of this meta about relationships in mlc, it's specifically drawing on how confucianism conceptualises social relationships with familial ties as a cornerstone, and how these relational ties are inextricable from the conceptualisation of the 'self'.

as such, one of the things about mlc that has fascinated me is how deliberately it seems to ignore and reject the conventional familial ties (the kind by blood and marital ties). I've joked about how it is a miracle for me to love mlc as much as I do, as a prime dysfunctional family story enjoyer, despite none of its main characters struggling with any complicated feelings about their (biological) parents. but on closer examination, mlc is also making a comment on the model of familial-based relationships that dominates mainstream society - but through the absence of it.

with this, I want to talk about 1) how mlc rejects the conventional ties; and then 2) how it repurposes these ties in its own ways.

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the five relational ties in confucianism:

father and son 父子有亲 - (natural) affection between father and son

ruler and subject 君臣有义 - righteous relationship between ruler and subject

older and younger brothers 兄弟 (长幼有序) - this is actually about seniority within the family; the order between older vs younger family members

husband and wife 夫妇有别 - differentiation between husband and wife (demarcated by the 内外 spectrum of gendered inner-external spheres)

friends 朋友有信 - trust between friends

logically inferred, all these ties are hierarchical and familial-based except for the last one: friends. ruler-subject is sort of an extension of the natural familial ties, while friendship is the inverse space of 1-4 (ie. you fall back on 5 to define a social relationship outside of the familial sphere that cannot be qualified as 1-4). while all are premised on mutuality, it is only no. 5 that is defined by a sense of choice and equality.

on the surface, 1-4 don't quite exist in mlc in particularly meaningful ways to the narrative or are even outright overlooked, and friendship is the relational tie most valued by mlc. we can tell it's true just by looking at the most meaningful relationships in mlc of difanghua. but at the same time, it is more nuanced. we can take a closer look at how the story plays around with most of the ties as part of a broader queer narrative.

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1) how mlc rejects the conventional ties

mlc's rejection of mainstream relational ties can be best seen in fdb escaping from marriage. and it was not just any engagement with anybody but an engagement with the imperial family. he struggles with the prospect of being married to princess zhaoling, but generally, it's about the idea of complying to mainstream conventions and expectations that includes compulsory heterosexuality. all these point not only to a defiance against amatonormativity - the resistance of the traditional husband-wife tie, but also an irreverence for the ties of ruler-subject (the engagement being an imperial decree) and father-son (matters of marriage being sole decisions made by parents).

of course this is on top of how fdb's own biological father is a p-o-s, and the narrative gives fdb minimal struggles in this aspect, allowing him to sever this tie without looking back (I love it, yeap). along the same line is how lxy is an orphan, who came to gain important relationships that are built on natural compassion among people rather than innate, blood-based ties - even as llh. the sense of defiance from the narrative is especially stark to me considering that he could have a completely different familial-based life - as a son, brother, and ruler, if his biological family was still around. the narrative also deliberately treats his biological brother as a phantom, replaced with an older brother who he was bonded with neither by blood nor marital ties. on dfs's front, absolutely nothing is to be known about his biological family. his childhood history with the toxic patriarch of his life - who is not even his biological father - was afforded a clean break and closure.

we can keep going on, but that's pretty much the point.

ritualisation is one of the most important things of the confucianism school, especially to the honoring of these social relationships (and the officiating of social roles). the one ceremony/ritual we saw in mlc involving the main characters - or more accurately speaking, came closest to seeing - was the imminent wedding ceremony of dfs and jlq. even in that case, it was premised on non-mutuality with dfs being the unwilling, passive party. (fem-coded dfs? 25 marks.)

and that brings us to the next part.

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2) how mlc repurposes these ties

that particular wedding ceremony gets hijacked by dfs and lxy/llh, and gets turned into an important milestone in their relationship. they consummate - what is on text - their friendship after a long time being more enemies and rivals than friends. it is a clear establishment of the trust they have for each other. and here it is where I circle back to the subject of this post: friendships as marital ties.

in this article, as a part of a feminist, egalitarian reframing of confucianism, there is a proposal for spousal relationships to be reframed as a friendship tie. (this aligns with the interrelatedness of the five ties eg. the ruler-subject mirrors father-son dynamic, with the confucian belief that rulers have an obligation to their subjects alike parents to their own children.) by doing so, it removes the functional, gendered differentiation assigned to marital ties, and shifts it to something equal, and independent of gender. you exalt the value of trust between spouses, instead of basing marital relationships on gendered roles. as such, spouses become more like friends, and conversely, friends can also become more like spouses. (romance not a prerequisite. it has never been about romance anyway.)

given that mlc has repeatedly applied marital motifs to llh and dfs's characters in their joint narratives, this opens up a reading friendships as a marital tie. seeing marriage as a bridge for strangers to become family, marriage in mlc becomes a metaphor for the chosen commitment and mutual trust put in by strangers/friends (non-familial ties) into the becoming of family. the blurring of lines between marital ties and friendship encourages a genuine space of queer experience that goes beyond any pressure for strict labels - of sexuality, and relationships as romantic, sexual, etc etc.

(note: despite the borrowing of a feminist concept, I strongly hesitate to call mlc a feminist story. it's a whole discussion - or debate - on its own. nevertheless, it is definitely a gender-conscious story that lays foundation for a strong queer and egalitarian reading.)

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it is to be noted that it is intended - and also beneficial to take the confucian framework of relational ties beyond face value. the framework offers what it believed to be the most fundamental social relationship dynamics, and sees room for extension and matching to other kinds of relationships (all if not, most). a relationship such as teacher-student, which is outside of the five ties stated, can also mirror the affection of father-son ties, albeit not in a literal and identical way.

speaking of which. fdb and lxy/llh.

indeed they're known by others to be good friends. fdb thinks they're good friends too - insists on it, and puts his best efforts in keeping it that way. but does it really go both ways? if it does not, then can it really still be friendship? my humble take is that, ultimately - weighing in with llh's perspective - this is a relationship that is not so much based on trust, and rather, based on an innate affection that is only unique to family. (in this case, not blood/marital-based but one that was chosen and built aka lxy's relationship with sgd.) in other words, less of a friendship, more of a familial one.

it is a lot clearer considering their relationship from llh's point of view: some brat you never wanted in your life came barging in, and whether he was going to bring any positive effect to your life was secondary to the tranquility - which you have carved for yourself in the past decade - that is so integral to your personhood. no way. but the moment you hear that he's family? well, that changes the game completely. even before learning about fdb being sgd's son (then beginning to take initiative in showing greater acceptance), it is apparent in llh that there was an instinctive resonance with fdb as his shixiong's nephew. (eg. he remarked to his shifu's grave about how alike fdb is to himself.) this is unlike with dfs whom he had taken a much longer time to build trust with. you do not apply trust - aka the quality of friendships - to family. family is something deeper, more instinctive than that. if fdb was never family, I find it hard to imagine given llh's personality, that he would have let some brazen, bratty stranger intrude for that long. (boy invited himself to llh's home, sat himself down eating the owner's dinner and nosing in his cooking abilities!!! ily bb but that was uncalled for 😭)

of course there are many more layers in their relationship. there is a substantial degree of their history as (unwitting) teacher-disciple: fdb is still healthy and alive all thanks to the existence of lxy as a spiritual teacher role model in his life, regardless it being one-sided or not. there is also indeed some part of friendship in it, especially from fdb's point of view. he sees llh as a kindred spirit who he could enjoy a life of freedom with for life. but llh never reciprocates. he knew this was short-lived. and so ultimately, the hierarchical layer of their relationship overpowers the equal one, where llh's treatment of fdb as a nephew/小辈 younger family member and a disciple is the one that sealed the fate of their relationship.

if (blood-based) familial ties are irrelevant in jianghu, then the closest proxy to a father-son relationship in the martial world would be a teacher-disciple relationship. lxy and his shifu are a clear, indisputable example. for fdb and llh, their teacher-disciple tie is murkier and not consistently applied. they were also never ritualised as teacher-disciple, and thus are not teacher-disciple in any official capacity as far as confucian ideas are concerned. yet in crucial moments, it is invoked by llh as a card of authority over fdb to get out of sticky situations with fdb. and there was their final scene together: in a moment of sincerity, llh gives the approval to fdb as his disciple - then entrusting fdb with the secret manual of his techniques, up until his final letter in which fdb was recommended to dfs as a successor to his martial abilities.

in an imperial setting, this would have been the relationship of an emperor and his crown prince that straddles both ruler-subject and father-son ties aka a tag-team of disaster. the teacher has an obligation to nurture his disciple as a successor to himself, and love him like a son too. on the flipside, he holds the final power in their relationship - withholding knowledge and feelings from the younger one. they are only equals in a way a parent-child can be. they are only equals as much as the parent allows. and this is how fdb got left behind in the dust of llh's departure. he was the child treating his parent like a friend, supporting him emotionally and begging to be loved back the same way he loves his parent - but the parent had a lifetime way ahead of him and stayed out of his reach, physically and emotionally.

llh and fdb operate with the trapping of a friendship but have always been family in the core. llh had known that way before fdb did, just like everything else he had known and put out of fdb's reach. because. fdb did not have to know. fdb is different and will forge his own path. and that's a kind of love llh has for him that nobody understands (in fact not even fdb himself) - one that is on a different plane from friendships.

by repurposing the framework of relational ties, mlc showed that the essence of familial relationships aka its intimacy and closeness can be independent from biology and formalised rituals. and it is important to myself for stories to say that people can build close ties and deeply meaningful relationships even without being born or ritualised into any.

-

then back to how these relational ties are inextricable from the conceptualisation of the 'self' in confucian worldview: the roles you play in these relationships are intended to define you. there is no 'self' independent from it. while the concept of a social, relational self is fully rooted in reality, being locked into social roles can be a painful way to live - a way that llh has experienced as lxy the sigu sect leader. so, in order for lxy/llh to realise a sense of self that exists outside the norms, it inevitably points to another way that requires a cut from these relationships. that is then the buddhist (or taoist) answer of looking past attachments to the world such as the confucian idea of relationships defining your being. only with a dissolution of a sense of 'self', can there be true liberation.

#莲花楼 #mysterious lotus casebook #lhlmeta #lhl #my posts #dihua #can't believe this is how i choose to spend an inordinate amt of my free time 😐😐 being a broken recorder of brainrot 😐 #anw the handful of fanghua moments that have moved me are the ones that are about the unbridgeable gap between them as 长辈小辈 as 徒弟师父 #(me realising lxy telling fdb 这个徒弟我没有白收 actually drives me nuts) #me: a brainrot-level dihua shipper first and foremost. also me: dedicating more of this meta to fanghua than dihua #about how fanghua's relationship is its own unique kind in the story. equally deep as dihua. just in a wholly different way. #dihua are friends and married and familial. but fanghua is family through and through #-> tl;dr of this meta actually #i just have extremely strong feelings about fanghua as a complicated little family unit. #which is independent of “shipping” FOR ME. but for anyone else though you can make anything out of it. #(gotta admit i'm a bit antsy about posting this and is uncertain how it's gonna be read. bc my reading of fanghua is so specific...well) #anyways. obsessed with dihua appropriating the heteronormative rituals <3 #edit: I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT DIFANG aaaAAAGHHHHHHHHHH #but. it's true they're very purely friendship-based i think

[taegularities]

some men are textbook villains fr

#tw religion? #kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on #some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago #liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not #tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much #i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different #things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how #id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet #but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that #and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on #you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding #things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc #life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam #me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you' #AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you' #even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that' #and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone #(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it) #(nothing even ever started you bitchass) #also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it #mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal.. #but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared #my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN #'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean #i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective #but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back #and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever #anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol #def gonna delete later #but ty for reading if u did <3

[gxlden-angels]

I don't know if it's the religious trauma or the dead mom trauma but the conservative christian insistence on not teaching children about their bodies in school and insistence that this knowledge should be private in all circumstances with no exceptions should be seen as suspicious at best and criminally malicious at worst

#but wait there's more #I know this isn't a new hot take or anything #but I have 'periods' without blood cause of medical reasons and every time I get them #I think about my great aunt scoffing at me for admitting Im on birth control before she told me #how until she was maybe 16-18 y/o she thought holding hands with boys she liked would get her pregnant #and I think about being 9 y/o and just losing my mom only to be told a few months later that Im a woman now #I was barely sentient let alone a woman #and with the recent period talk ban in florida #where you can't even discuss periods without getting in trouble before 6th grade #how scared and alone I already was being raised in this cult where everything was hush hush #My dad couldn't teach me about them and my extended family didn't tell me about all of the reproductive conditions we have running thru us #so I barely talked to anyone until I was like 13-14 and so anemic I was blacking out and sleeping 14 hours a day #and no one told me it wasnt normal until then #it's dangerous at best and deadly at worst

[wait-whos-batman]

#i don’t care how old this meme is #i don’t care that it’s been dead for ages #dead meme #old meme #was anyone going to tell me #batfam #batfamily #batman #jason todd #bruce wayne #comics #dcu #dc comics #a death in the family #this comic was so traumatuc for jason and bruce #meanwhile the joker was fucking off and having the time of his life #it felt like a faver dream #i cant believe i actually read that with my own eyes #reading that amd then watching lego batman gave my whiplash #two violently *no pun intended* different jokers #both equally gay #for batman

[hella1975]

ive just rediscovered an old wip of mine and im having so much fun right now. like i havent opened the document since early 2020 and genuinely forgot it existed yet there's 90k words and so much lore and elements of basic concepts that made it to my present writing in far cooler and more complex ways and the writing isn't great but there's potential to it and idk. it's been a while since i wrote something privately and while i hugely prefer the way i do it now where i actually have a community with it and dont hole myself away and act like it's a huge shame thing, there's still something hugely reasuring about knowing this is something ive always done and that actually i was always drawn to it and had potential and that's something to remember for when my writing block gets bad or i convince myself Everything Ive Ever Done Is Awful

#like this story is one where if i tackled it with my writing abilities now it would genuinely be really good #that's how sound the basic premise is. and i have SO many wips like that with tens of thousands of words to them #and i was doing this for ZERO reward ZERO attention i wouldnt tell a SOUL not even my family #i truly just have always loved and NEEDED to write. that is such a cool thing to be able to say #anyway yeah this wip lowkey fucks. like there's lots of aspects to it that are cringe and telling of the fact i was writing it at age 16 #but the fact i came up with something so fleshed out at SIXTEEN??? insane #and this isnt even one of my big older wips. i have three that immediately come to mind that were sooo much bigger than this #like on the shorter end being 100k words and larger end easily being near 300k words #and they were JUST FOR ME like i didnt even know what ao3 WAS and i never spoke to anyone about my writing #and they WERENT FANDOM BASED. i was just casually coming up with super original detailed and COMEPLLING worlds #and characters and plots with complex twists and tropes and i was just doing it for shits #that's so fucking cool. did you ever think you'd see the day i gave past hella a pat on the back bc i didn't

[hydrangeyes]

I really do love how the fandom has their ship but man do I wanna see a bit more of the rivals to codependent to lovers route more

#satosugu #in which them beefing in the gym was hilarious to me and i wanna see that be a part of their early friendship stages #and THEN it turns out theyre both so stupid they just wanna kiss each other #you know that whole yakuza vibes where fighting definitely means more than just fighting #idc what anyone says #alot of yakuza could have been solved if they'd shut the fuck up and talked in some cases kissed even #anyway #i need fics where they talk about how fucked gojo's mental state must be over all #cause your telling me someone who was born so powerful and is hated because of it and only treated well (in a distant sort of way) is okay? #like damn geto had him snatched with that one scene #i need more shoko love frfr also #also does geto ecen eat given he has to eat curses and shit like they cant put that shit in some soup or a smoothie or something??? #i need a fic where gojo cries but like the quiet kind cause he's always been the stronfest and strong people would never cry like a weakling #type shit #i want a fic where gojo learns new emotions as he's taught to unlearn the damage his title and family have given him #like genuine joy or non deadly fear or or crying is okay #i need geto to have a support system thats not just gojo like theyre each others number one's but theyr both fucked up #they needed adult nanami in their lives imo cause my guy seems to be the only one who got it

[inamindfarfaraway]

You know Andrea Davenport's intense hatred of her name being mispronounced? It's a particular, notable quirk of her character. This small error brings out the absolute worst in her; in her introductory episode she's much crueller and more of an active bully, enforcing the total social exclusion of Molly, instead of simply self-absorbed and insensitive but ultimately good at heart as she has been since, all because Molly accidentally says her name wrong more than once in their first meeting.

Why? The correct pronunciation of Andrea in her case is the less common one (and therefore seems posher), and less intuitive based on the spelling. It's quite reasonable that someone would say the other pronunciation more than once out of instinct. She can surely intellectually understand that. So why is this such a big issue for her?

Well, a lot of her bad behaviour can be explained by her parents' behaviour. Her father can be selfish and greedy in regards to his business, and while Andrea is spoiled materially and financially, both her parents routinely ignore and emotionally neglect her to pay more attention to their work, social media and image. When she focuses excessively on herself and her reputation, she's directly imitating her two first and most influential role models. Maybe if she makes the family and their brand look good enough, she'll be good enough for them to give her their time. Maybe if she's exactly like them, they'll be more interested in her. They're always interested in themselves, after all.

What if her parents are so neglectful that they can, at least on occasion, accidentally get their own daughter's name wrong?

Imagine an episode about Andrea where Molly is either observing her without her knowledge like in "The Don't-Gooder", or hanging out with her in a normal way, since she is her "best friend" now in Andrea's own words. Andrea is talking to her parents, who are looking at their phones and only half-listening.

Then her mother or father distractedly mispronounces her name, or even calls her a different name like Annie or something. Molly gasps, bracing for how badly Andrea will react. Her parent doing it is far more insulting than a stranger doing it!

But Andrea barely reacts at all. She's stung, dejected, but not angry. Resigned. She doesn't even bring it up. Like this is frequent enough that she doesn't think that her literal parents remembering how to say the name they chose for her or even the name itself would be a guarantee.

She doesn't have much power over her parents. Not the kind that will sway them to meet her basic emotional needs. But as she learned early on in life, thanks to her wealth, beauty and charisma she can exert power over her peers, and later the general public and her fanbase. So she is going to make damn well sure that everyone else refers to her correctly. And if they don't, she'll subject them to the most painful, degrading treatment she can conceive of: being ignored.

Her name thing set the whole plot of the second episode into motion. Can you imagine, after how firmly it was established, the impact on Molly and the audience of Maxwell Davenport saying, "That's nice, Angela" and Andrea's only response being reserved, familiar hurt?

@fallen-gravity

#and then after talking to her about it molly inspires her to tell her parents off #and the insistent declaration of ‘my name is ONdrea’ becomes an empowering assertion of self-worth #her dad does nickname her ‘button’ #he could do that partly to hide that he can’t always remember how to pronounce her name #me? jumping on the rich kid with an unhappy home life angst bandwagon? #i love pacifica northwest and the blight siblings! of course! #this was meant to be just about the name thing but it kind of turned into a wider character analysis #anyone else think her parents' form of mistreatment being neglect and her form of bullying being exclusion might be linked? #or am i having the brainrot? #might have to write a fanfic about this eventually #the ghost and molly mcgee #tgamm #andrea davenport #maxwell davenport #fiona davenport #davenport family #davenports

[layla-carstairs]

Cassandra Clare writing the pre-tlh short stories and then forgetting about them & what they had established as canon when actually writing the last hours is my villain origin story. like it makes me so violent. and I get things change as the writing process goes on but imo as an author you have a responsibility to abide by what you previously wrote & published. you don't get to pretend that it just never happened.

#it's cheap & annoying & takes away from the final project #even just some acknowledgement would have fixed the problem! #like with James being the 'leader' of the Merry Thieves when in the short stories it was very well established that was Matthew #or how James was the one who really hated Alastair #and Thomas would always defend Alastair which meant having conversations about Alastair nearly impossible without upsetting someone #there's countless examples of this it makes me want to pull my hair out #as for something like the family tree. I would have rathered cc just explained the situation to us fans #like just *tell us* the family tree was written before tlh was really a thing & because of that it's not canon anymore #there wasn't really a need for an canonical explanation (especially since it was so random) #I doubt anyone but fans cared about it anyway #by fans I mean hardcore fans who don't just read causally. like ones who get her newsletter/follow her on tumblr and twitter etc #the last hours #chain of gold #chain of iron #chain of thorns #james herondale #cordelia carstairs #lucie herondale #matthew fairchild #thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #christopher lightwood #anna lightwood #jesse blackthorn #grace blackthorn #the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc

[zorilleerrant]

WFA transparents, free to use

#look i said something #my edit #batman #wayne family adventures #these are supposed to be transparents??? not sure if that worked??? if anyone knows how to make it work better let me know #been seeing some picture of these guys that are kind of smudgy looking and it's been bothering me. I wanted consistent ones #I'm going to come back with ones of them in costume at some point I think. tell me if you want other characters

[frozenhi-chews]

Arthur and Starlo, the two desert F/Os

And my desert-loving butt is going nuts over both of them HUAAGH

#the cake doth speak #self ship stuff #i love the aesthetic of deserts. I've grown up in one !! #the sunset in a desert?? holy crap it is GORGEOUS #and MAN- #the MSA gang really does feel like a fun found family that picked me up and let me join them #yall have no idea just how much i love em #and then Stars just asked me out on a date and i saud yes #said* #AAUGH #also remembering i wanted to comm this one popular MSA artist for a self ship comm but didn't #because i was so freaking scared #can anyone tell me if nebulous-rain does self ship msa comms bc I'm. i still want one from them. i love how they draw arthur #im just. way too shy #(they also liked a couple of my msa self ship posts so what do i know #ah well) #arthur kingsmen <3 #🌵💫

[when-did-this-become-difficult]

"sorry but i want to hit every american talking about not wanting to vote democrat anymore with hammers. lol" I want to hit you with hammers too, lol. twinsies

like it's not enough that we have to vote democrat we also have to pretend all the time that we looooove it and that it's the greatest thing on earth...shut the FUCK up

i'm a poll worker i'm a canvasser i've voted in almost every election i physically legally could. and i'm here to tell you. i will bitch and whine about the democrats and the democratic party any time i goddamn want and twice on sundays. and AS somebody who has cold called and doorknocked for local dems in a red fucking state, if you think that you can shame people into not mentioning how broken down and furious and desperate the democratic party and democratic politicians makes them feel, and that you will somehow succeed in this, and that will somehow CONTRIBUTE to democratic successes? get a FUCKING grip

#negativity #vent post #that was an exceptionally stupid post for me to have to read on my friday #anyone with a heart and a brain doesn't want to vote democrat anymore jsyk. now i may still do it. but by god if im not caterwauling all th #way... #the patronizing attitude is too much to bear i want to smash #you want to use hammers? I WANT TO USE HAMMERS #I CANT EVEN TELL YOU HOW MUCH TIME AND GENUINE ENERGY AND CUSTOMER SERVICE ATTITUDE I HAVE EXPENDED #TO GET ONE OF YOUR FUCKING PEOPLE IN CONGRESS #ONLY FOR HER TO IGNORE THE SHIT OUT OF ME EVERY TIME I SEND A LETTER #ONLY FOR HER TO DISRESPECT—OPENLY PUBLICLY DISRESPECT—AND PATRONIZE WOMEN OF COLOR WHO TRY TO ASK HER #NOT TO USE THEIR TAX DOLLARS TO KILL THIER FAMILIES. #YOU WANT TO KILL? I WANT TO KILL. #BUT GUESS WHO'S ACTUALLY DOING THE KILLING RIGHT NOW. #THE GUYS. THAT WE. VOTED FOR. #SO YEAH ITS REASONABLE TO NOT WANT TO VOTE FOR THEM ANYMORE ACTUALLY!!!!!!!!!

[navree]

“prince aemond had no love for any of their ilk [...] no trueborn strong was spared, nor any bastard save…oddly…alys rivers.” -fire & blood.

“but a dragon could not feed a hungry child nor help a dying woman’s pain. and who would ever dare to love a dragon?” -a dance with dragons.

“it was aemond alone who had become besotted with the rivers woman, to such an extent that he could not bear the thought of leaving her.” -fire & blood.

#houseofthedragonedit #hotdedit #house of the dragon #aemond targaryen #alys rivers #aemond one eye #my edits #my stuff #the way that i am READY for them #if they screw this up in even the slightest bit i will lose my fucking mind #i need them to go all out for this #why did he spare her over everyone else with strong blood #how are we gonna go from aemond who doesn't seem to care about anyone beyond his family #aemond who will have by this point probably embraced the title of kinslayer in a jaime-esque way #fall in love with alys to the point where he returns to harrenhal when no one expects him to for her #not to mention i would pay to know alys's thoughts on the whole thing #like please tell me more give me as much as possible

[titsthedamnseason]

it’s not funny anymore. i need xander and spencer’s book

#like it’s serious. #how did they become my vacation couple?! #like i’m on vacation imagining what fictional characters would be doing in this scenario AND THEY ARE MY BRAIN’S GO TO?! #i can’t remember the last time i was this invested in a couple before their book even came out #mine #like us series #i guess technically not? but i don’t have anything else to call it rn #and also i can’t remember if i ever brought this up here but it seems obvious that we’re getting easton / vada and im here for it? #like we don’t know super much about either of them but i obviously like easton due to his friendship with xander #and vada is gillow’s child which automatically qualifies her for national treasure status #and i think it was clever of them to pair them off that way #bc otherwise even though easton is well liked he wouldn’t really qualify for a book as just a side character #(not that they didn’t do that for oscar / jack and are obviously angling for a frog / quinn book) #and vada needs someone trustworthy from outside the families #anyway. THEY ARE ALL I THINK ABOUT #YOURE TELLING ME I HAVE TO GET THROUGH ALL THE COBALT BOYS BEFORE THIS?? WHEN THE NLU SET UP WAS THAT PERFECT #like as happy as i am to get ben’s book in my life it just feels wrong that his and xander’s books won’t be back to back idk #🏆 this is for anyone that actually read this deep into the tags you are a warrior