#if youre an adult you need to acknowledge this

[leidensygdom]

Ok, I'm gonna start a post idea I had been pondering. If you're either mentally or physically disabled and you have opinions about representation, this is the thread for you!

So, I've been seeing more people trying to tackle the topic of autism in their stories, but I've felt some of it tries to woobify a bit what is to live with autism, or just focus on the more socially acceptable quirks of it. And as someone with autism/ADHD (was suspected of it for most of my life, got it finally diagnosed by my therapist (who specializes in autism and ADHD) last year), sometimes I'd like for people to acknowledge the more unsavoury parts of it, the weird quirks, etc.

So, this post is going to be about that- If you wanna help people understand how your disability/neurodivergency affects your life, feel free to add to it! Just mention what do you have (no need for a full list, just what you consider relevant to the post) and some experiences, quirks, anecdotes or such that you think that are not often seen in stories or media, and that you consider an important part of it. They don't need to be huge things! I encourage people to share just whatever they feel comfortable. My list is gonna be a mix of stuff, but yours can be very different. Let me start!

Clothes and how they feel was surprisingly one of the most disruptive parts of my autism. As a kid, if I was forced to wear something that caused me some bad texture/sensitivity issues, it would significantly affect my behaviour and performance. It took me many years to be allowed to use mostly sportswear. (And it turns out being a "girl" (not anymore) wearing only sportswear tends to cause a whole lot of bullying)

This happens even nowadays. I've found out that non-heeled boots are more comfortable to me than sport shoes, because feeling something against the back of my foot makes me feel overwhelmed. I tend to wear yoga pants under actual pants, because they keep the actual pants' seams from causing sensory issues. There's almost a sort of ritual on how do I need to combine clothes to be able to function "normally", mostly consisting on reducing how much they annoy me.

On that topic, hygiene is actually a huge thing too. As a kid, I wasn't allowed to shower daily. Days I didn't shower, no matter how much I tried to keep my hygiene in other days, were "bad days" to me. I would literally plan hanging out with friends or eating out around the days I was allowed to shower. I could physically feel the difference between the day I showered and the day I didn't (even if I washed my face, armpits, used the bidet, etc).

This is true even nowadays. I can thankfully now shower daily, which isn't recommended by a lot of experts (specially because it can damage your hair and skin), but it's more worth to me than having days where I feel like I shouldn't be seen in public.

Being overwhelmed sucks! Meltdowns are mostly associated with kids, mostly because adults either learn to mask them, or do everything they can to AVOID having that meltdown. I've mostly figured out routines and such. There's this one place we go eat out every other Tuesday- And in the hours we go in, there's a sort of silent corner that is always free. This week's schedule was a mess, so we went yesterday to that same place, and the silent corner was filled with a very loud group. I got extremely overwhelmed. But enough masking drilled to me means I just sat there unable to talk for maybe 30 minutes.

Autistic adults still do have autism and experience often the full spread of traits, they've just found ways to mask, or avoid being in situations where they do need to do that. I've adapted my life and routine to that. But sometimes I land on situations out of my comfort zone that will make me feel just like when I was a kid. I want to freelance online because I'm fully aware I can't perform properly in a public facing job.

Group projects sucked so much. I know they suck for most people, but most times it was easier for me to do the entirety of the project by myself and add the others' names to it than dealing with chasing people for their parts. My college had a 6-months-long massive group project in the last year, with a 7 people group, which obviously I couldn't do alone. The whole experience was so harmful in so many ways I've had several full therapy sessions talking about it :'')

One of the reasons it's because mental flexibility is HARD with autism. If i set a schedule, I expect that schedule to be followed. If people agree to do a part, I expect that part to be delivered (unless there's a proper reason) on due time. People hate this a lot usually! It will tear group projects apart!

Stimming can be harmless, or it can be very annoying to some. I tend to shake legs and play with something in my hands. I could easy this off drawing in classes- My high school found out that I was paying more attention when I was allowed to draw in classes, and my academic performance was pretty much perfect, so they gave me permission to do that.

However, I had a teacher in middle school that did forbid me from drawing. I stimmed during a class with pens- She got so mad she sent me home with a note to my parents they had to sign. Fun!

Not exactly an anecdote, but I am ace. I hate the discourse about "making an autistic person be aro or ace is infantilizing autism". Aro/ace people can have autism. That's just how it is. I've been infantilized a lot for being ace- Which only got worse because I am autistic, and people perceived some of my special interests as child-ish. The combo didn't make things easy.

On that topic, people will often be very patronizing of your opinions or takes for being autistic. I've had people debate my sexuality (or lack of thereof), my gender identity and presentation, my hobbies, my preferences for everything, down to "what do you want to eat tonight?". This isn't too different to shitty takes about how "autistic people are more prone to being affected by the trans activistsTM", because people assume autistic people can't choose on their own. Trust me: We can.

Anyhow, I'd love if this post could be a good compilation of these sort of anecdotes! I think it could help people who wanna learn more about what is it to live with specific disabilities (and how to better portray them in media)

#nd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #disability #disabled #autism #adhd #neurodivergencies #long post

[cassolotl]

UK government planning to scrap a major disability benefit

I'm only just scraping by and the government are proposing to take away PIP (a disability benefit), which would be HALF of my income wiped out.

"Reforms to personal independence payments (PIP) could include stopping regular cash payments, and instead offering claimants one-off grants for things like home adaptations." -- "Disabled people face end to monthly benefits cash", BBC News, 29 April 2024

And:

"The plans, which will be consulted on over the coming months, also include proposals to “move away from a fixed cash benefit system”, meaning people with some conditions will no longer receive regular payments, but instead access to treatment if their condition does not involve extra costs." -- "People with depression or anxiety could lose sickness benefits, says UK minister", Guardian, 29 April 2024

That's what the NHS is supposed to be doing...

Genuinely absolutely terrifying.

Can anyone living in the UK join in with an (hopefully!) overwhelming cascade of unique emails to their MP opposing this? WriteToThem.com makes it very quick and easy.

They're proposing to replace it with one-off grants that the individual can apply for, which is absurd and horrifying, so feel free to point out how that won't work as well!

Here's what I'm writing, and do not just copy-paste my letter/email, because that makes it less legit. Do your own thing, even just one sentence telling your MP that you're opposed is enough if that's all you can manage. Whatever you want to say is what your MP needs to hear.

Dear [MP's name], Today I learned that the government plan to scrap PIP, and maybe replace it with something like a one-off grant application process, before the next election. ("Disabled people face end to monthly benefits cash", BBC News, 29 April 2024: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn0ry09d50wo) PIP is about half of my income (about 44%). I don't spend it on occasional large purchases, I spend it on countless things that are more expensive for me than they are for other people. PIP is in place to acknowledge, as it says in the above article, that disabled people's lives are more expensive than non-disabled people's lives by hundreds of pounds per week. ("Previous research from Scope suggests households with at least one disabled adult or child face an estimated average extra cost of £975 a month to have the same standard of living as non-disabled households." That's £225 per week, and the maximum amount of PIP you can get is £184.) So firstly, it could be argued that PIP doesn't even cover the additional expenses of the average disabled household. And next, the cost of implementing an alternative system would be worse for disabled people, totally unsuited to its purpose, and more expensive to run. Worse for disabled people: Currently PIP acknowledges that being disabled takes a lot more work to maintain a comparable standard of living, and as it's an amount of work that the claimant cannot sustainably do, they are given money so that they can pay someone else to do it. These costs are distributed across all living expenses, in addition to occasional one-off purchases of e.g. mobility aids. Having to apply for one-off payments for expenses would be more work on top of that, so if the disabled person isn't able to do it (which is very likely) they will either have to work less in their day jobs in order to spend more time applying for one-off grants, or they will have to also apply for one-off payments to pay someone to apply for more one-off payments. This is self-evidently a waste of energy and time, and totally impractical, as well as being counter to the entire point of disability benefits. It would also be extremely undignified for the disabled people, and arguably against human rights (right to private life and dignity), to have to justify each purchase to the government. Totally unsuited to its purpose: One off-grants are not suited to ongoing higher expenses such as having to buy more prepared food (e.g. carrot batons are more expensive than raw carrots and go off much more quickly). Does this policy assume that disabled people's PIP is only for things like wheelchairs and walking sticks? More expensive to run: The system for PIP applications is already fairly backlogged, in that my last application took over 6 months to complete. I was awarded PIP for 10 years. If every application for a one-off grant had to be accompanied by an application of a similar scale that wouldn't be workable, so presumably an initial PIP application like the current system's would still be required to qualify for the system in the first place, and then following that, numerous smaller applications for money (e.g. for taxis, pre-chopped veg, painkillers, specialist clothing, etc.) would be carried out per person per month. The disability benefits system would have to be scaled up significantly, and it would be much more expensive. It is far cheaper to give people a set amount of money based on their needs; it's the same money that you would be giving them in grants anyway, but without having to process each purchase/one-off application. I implore you to oppose this proposal. It is blatantly unworkable to the level of absurdity, but more importantly it is inhumane. I look forward to your reply detailing your stance. Many thanks in advance. Yours sincerely, [My name]

But, again, if you can't manage anything long or complicated like that, your best is good enough. Even if they're not all perfectly written and detailed, we want to bowl them over with sheer quantity of emails.

#disability #disabled #armchair activism #UK #UK politics #PIP #personal independence payments #DWP #department for work and pensions #disability benefits #activism

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Angel Dust Redesign! (7/7)

FINALLY I AM DONE WITH THE MAIN 7 FREAKS.

Depending how I feel I might throw in some bonuses but these guys are your only guarantees! Going to be posting the full lineup separately because I don’t want to clutter this post!!

God okay where to start. I was talking about them in Husk’s post so let’s go with that. Angel’s clothing restrictions are his necklace and shoes. I might go on a bit of a tangent with this so forgive me 💔

For the necklace let me get this out of the way: yes it is a BDSM thing! I’m terrified people are going to take this as me being a weirdo but please as an adult content creator give me some space to explain before anyone jumps on me and hits me with a metal pipe. The intentions behind symbolism matter HEAVILY. I am against Vivzie’s portrayal of Angel’s abuse and the chain/collar imagery because it is blatantly either her being incredibly uncreative or her inserting her kinks into her shows. I think it is completely fine to use suggestive items in this way as long as the intentions are clear and not just there for no reason.

I would’ve probably done something else like a corset as a restriction, but I’d like to stop being so shy about Angel’s actual job. He is a pornstar and removing that outward aspect of him is taking a big chunk of his character away. I need more people to acknowledge that Angel enjoys sex and actively wanted to explore this side of himself. With the slip chain however, I would also like to portray how things Angel enjoys in his job have been used against him and made him come to resent what he does when he is forced into it. I think thats a pretty understandable thing to show.

This is harder to explain but the gist of it is just don’t be afraid to acknowledge Angel’s job. It’s okay to use sexual things as metaphors. Have you heard any christian song ever/hj

Alright with that out of the way, with the shoes. Angel’s feet are a large insecurity and discomfort of his which already makes his shoes some sort of restriction on their own, however if controlled, they can be made to stumble forward, fall over, etc. I wanted to show how Angel has freedom to go mostly wherever he pleases, though once again, that free will can be taken away very quickly.

I hated his suit so all suiting is gone entirely. He’s supposed to look attractive or eye catching at the very least. I’ve also added back the outer fangs he had in my first redesign!

I am much happier with the new one in comparison to this old guy. I know it’s only a few months old but you can really see how differently I draw him and the details I pay attention to more like the shape of his hair. Aside from the old one! I wanted Angel himself to still keep the reddish pink to show wrath and destain being masked as lust, except now his clothing is actually the pinkish-purple lust colour and it covers more eye grabbing parts of his body like the chest, hands, hips, and so on.

I don’t think I’ve ever outwardly mentioned Angel having polycoria but he does and it’s probably my favourite feature to draw aside from his hair. About the hair and fur: Angel used to have spots and basic stripes before his contract with Valentino, where afterwards they began to curl into their cordiform shapes. Most physical overlord changes with hair and skin tend to not go away, so depending on who you make a contract with it’s either a fun perk or a sort of scar.

Once again, not sure if I will be continuing with anymore in this specific lineup, but if I do end up posting more of these I really hope you like those too! 💣

#hazbin hotel #hazbin critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critical #angel dust #hazbin angel dust #hazbin angel #angel dust hazbin #angel dust hazbin hotel #my art #hazbin rewrite #hazbin redesign #hazbin rework #hazbin hotel rework #hazbin hotel rewrite #hazbin hotel redesign #anti vivziepop #tw valentino #cw valentino #tw sa implied #cw sa implied

[baratiddyappreciator]

good afternoon/evening/night, I don’t know when you will read this :) I would like to make a request from you, it’s a bit late topic, I agree. But could you write about how the antagonists of season 3 (Spec, Dorian, Sikorsky, Doyle and Yanagi) will react to the fact that a shy reader gave them a valentine and chocolate (made by the reader himself), and ran away very embarrassed? I would be very grateful if you write this. Best wishes to you ! :)

Of course I can! Once again, very sorry for how long it took me to get to these lmao, I can say that I'm officially off hiatus but progress will be slow until I catch up.

Doyle:

He's so confused. What on earth are you doing?? Why did you just shove this box of random shit and some flowers into his hands and then run off like he had the bubonic plague?? Why are you so red??? What on earth is going on?? More importantly, why the actual fuck did you say 'Kyaaa~!' as you were leaving?? Are you cringe? Does he need to worry about you being cringe?

Give him a second, the man is a bit stunted when it comes to being around normal people. Been in the assassin game too long. When he opens to box to see some chocolates and reads the note with the valentine, then he'll put two and two together. Eventually. He may or may not have to look it up first before he puts two and two together.

Expect a sudden appearance at your house. A creepy one. Bro rocks up outside your window in the middle of the night like "hey hi hello do you have feelings for me??" and once you confirm he's going to tease you about it to the point where it's almost him just straight up being mean, but it's all he knows how to do. You might cry though, just a warning.

After all that? He barely acknowledges that you confessed to him. You can bring it up, and he'll just shrug and give you a "Yeah? What about it?" because he read that being aloof and uninterested can actually make him seem a bit more interesting to you. You're going to have to be direct with him, because otherwise he just won't understand what you want.

Sikorsky:

Run away all you want, you literally will not be able to outrun him. His legs are long and he's got the endurance. The man is scary, and he will get you to look him dead in the eyes and tell him with your words, because shoving a box and some flowers into his hands and then running away is rude and childish, and you're both grown adults.

He doesn't need a second, he's not dumb, he's had people confess to him before. He's pretty and he knows it, which makes his ego about 10x worse. He knows the moment he gets handed the box of chocolates and the roses. As mentioned, he'll hunt you down and make you use your words.

"Go on, say that you love me, I wanna hear you say it!" He's so mean about it, but he knows when to stop pushing. As soon as you admit that you like him, he'll tease you a little, feed his own ego a bit, and then be perfectly happy to move on to whatever happens next.

Oh he'll bring it up just to fluster you. He's a bit sadistic, so that is... Well, fairly frequently. Eventually you'll stop being as flustered about it, but still, he'll find a way to turn your confession into something he can use to tease and poke fun. Eventually though, it becomes something he looks back on fondly, and is so, so happy that you both remember it so well.

Yanagi:

A valentine? How childish. He's a grown man, he doesn't need this! You can run away if you want, he won't chase you. He knows you'll be back, and when you do come back, he's going to make you say what you feel properly, because otherwise, he's not likely to give you the time of day. Shy or no, simply running away is shameful and cowardly in his eyes.

He knows, he grew up with that culture, there's no need to tell him, though he outright refuses to touch the chocolates until you've come to him properly and talked to him instead of just running away all flustered. You're going to lose points for that approach in his eyes.

His judgmental and stuck-up ass is constantly going to demean you for just running away from him. He faced down Yujiro Hanma of all people, and he didn't run away! You've got no excuse, because clearly he's not nearly that terrifying! (He is, the little freak)

After the initial shaming and subsequent "Now do it again, but properly!" then that's pretty much it. Something he'll try to push out of his mind, which is a small mercy on his end because otherwise the relationship simply wouldn't happen purely because of that.

Dorian:

Awe, well isn't that adorable! And you put so much effort into this too! So flustered you couldn't even look him in the eyes before you took off! But you're forgetting that he's incredibly fast, even in his advanced age, so he absolutely simply let you go. If he'd wanted to catch you, he would.

Oh he's aware of what this means! And he's not above returning the favor either! As long as you don't ask too many questions about where he gets your gifts from, it's smooth sailing! He'd appreciate it if you questioned him simply being in your home one night even less, especially with how happy you'd clearly be with him returning your feelings!

Oh he's going to savor those chocolates! You worked so hard on them, and he's always had a bit of a sweet-tooth! As for the flowers, he's going to dry and preserve them, maybe even have them turned into a fragrance that he can wear on date night.

After all that, you really expect to stay single? Oh no, he's putting a claim on that as soon as physically possible, he just needs to make sure that you won't questions the suspicious things that happen around him. Like, you know, your neighbors all of the sudden not looking you in the eyes, your boss giving you less of a hard time. It's just because you're so happy, and not because he threatened them, it's definitely because you're so radiant!

Spec:

He's highly amused and he's going to do nothing to hide that fact. You're trying to run away? Oh, honey, he's already outpaced you and is ready to snatch you up and drag you off to go eat the chocolates you worked so hard on!

He's aware and he thinks it's both the most adorable and hilarious thing in existence. Did you really think he'd just let you run off on him? Oh no, nono, you're gonna stay here and say that you love him to his face and not through some letter, though he's still going to keep it. If he ever goes back to jail, he's going to hang it on the wall or the ceiling near his bed so it can be the first thing he sees when he wakes up.

He's going to tease you about it until you're so red you envy a stop-sign. And then he'll tease you a bit more, just for good measure. It's really hard to tell if he's just teasing you or if he's being genuine though, since his sense of humor is so skewed.

After all that? He lives in your house. You confessed, you gave him food and flowers. He's like a fucked up stray cat that has taken the small display of kindness as an invitation to just live in your home for however long he pleases. You're going to have a really hard time getting rid of him.

#baki the grappler #baki son of ogre #baki headcanons #baki dou #grappler baki #hector doyle #sikorsky #sikorsky baki #yanagi baki #dorian baki #spec baki

[plushpile]

Currently frustrated (again) abt how little it feels like we can talk about certain things in the plush community, mainly when it comes to politics and stuff like that

A huge example on my mind rn is the whole squishmallow/jazwares thing

It frustrates me to see ppl in my servers and on other sites continuing to buy squishmallows right now, and I feel like it's only gonna get worse as the holidays get closer

I can't help but think that a lot of these people just don't know (I mean shit, posts about it were literally hidden/deleted on the main squishmallow subreddit), and I want so badly to tell them but in multiple places that's not allowed, because of the nature of the community and people wanting to keep it a certain way

In a way I get it, but the silence is deeply upsetting when support of genocide and disgusting misinformation is what's on the table

I know a lot of us are in this community for comfort, or to connect to childhood, whatever it could be but as adults in this community we should not let our own comfort take precedence over the lives of innocent people, it doesn't matter if you're political or not

On the other hand, I feel like we're avoiding this topic to specifically avoid discourse, but frankly I don't care because I don't want to share a community with anyone who would oppose the beliefs fueling the boycott of this company

I don't want to share a community with people who would defend genocide, specifically the killing of innocent people in Gaza, for any reason, and it's disheartening not knowing who I could be rubbing shoulders with in this community because of the specific lack of conversation about these important topics

I don't really have any profound point here, I don't have a solution, I'm just frustrated and disgusted

Fuck Jazwares, stop buying squishmallows, and FREE GAZA

#not just squishmallows btw Jazwares makes a lotta shit #including commonly found pokemon plush #do your research and dont support this shit #inform your friends and speak up #also i dont fucking care if you think this is unsafe for kids #so many of the victims of this genocide are CHILDREN #age regression does not give you a pass to look away #if youre an adult you need to acknowledge this #spider.txt #plushblr #plush community #plushies #squishmallow #squishmallows

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two! #can remove if needed! #but you guys made me think a lot #this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day #where she relayed an argument she had with her partner #who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes #and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see #and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’ #and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence #when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it #(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol) #long post #again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵‍💫 #i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so #also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive #being a shitty partner does though! #writing letters addressed to the fire #it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed #she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it #because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them #whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner #in her adult life at least #and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted

[fernacular]

Sometimes I wonder if the people who get extremely up in arms about kid shows and hyper critical of things that are easily explained by them being shows intended for children have, perhaps, themselves outgrown kids shows and are just unwilling to admit it.

#this isn't a dig at people who watch kids shows into adulthood #and this isn't even to say you can't ever watch them with a critical eye #they are at the end of the day pieces of art made by adults and it's not beyond the pale for other adults to approach them on those terms #but if you're getting pissed off at a children's show for children #because it's orienting its story and morals towards children and not your more adult sensibilities #maybe you need to acknowledge that your tastes have changed and you should start switching to more adult entertainment #ramblings

[sassmill]

Feeling kind of hollow today

#it was my birthday #which as an adult has generally not gone well so I’ve become very neutral about it #and everyone at work was so lovely #which put how my family was in contrast #so I had a lovely lunch at work with a card from all my coworkers and a cake and crumbl cookies #but in the afternoon at my desk it sunk in AGAIN that I feel more cared for at work than I do at home #not that I care about an actual celebration just being kind and acknowledging it #but when I heard ‘happy birthday’ from each colleague today it felt so genuine #everyone asked how my day was going how old I was turning #and I didn’t expect or ask for anything #didn’t expect or ask for anything at home #but it’s the fact that my mom only decided last minute to get a cake because my brother asked her if we were having cake #I would’ve been fine if she hadn’t gotten a cake I don’t even like cake that much #it’s the fact that it was an afterthought #if she had like actually asked me ‘do you want a birthday cake’ it would’ve been one thing #but she called me and said ‘your brother asked me if we were having cake so I guess I’ll see what they have at the grocery store’ #when she does something nice for me on purpose she uses it for a guilt trip #and when she does something nice spontaneously it’s always in a way that makes me feel like an inconvenience #and I need to move out of this fucking house

[orcelito]

Revealing myself as a 98 vashmeryl truther by how I write vash and meryl's interactions in itnl

#speculation nation #itnl shit #THEYRE JUST SO FUNNY and i love them 😭😭😭😭 #so yes this is a trimax fic but i am just gonna. push my 98 agenda for their relationship hfkdhfj Just a little #idk their dynamic is just more Present in the anime than in the manga. and it works for the setup i have so There. #also yes this is a vashwood fic IM ALLOWED to enjoy other dynamics too #toeing the line a little bit on the slight undertones but nothing will come of it #i. plan to have an acknowledgement in this chapter. chapter 13 #vash makes a joke that could be interpreted as flirty and she's basically like 'Dont Deflect. you dont see me like that anyways.' #vash realizing that Yeah there kind of is a dynamic there. but also hes so focused on wolfwood he wouldnt wanna lead her on #it's like. this is just kinda part of being an adult ykno lol like #sometimes you have feelings for your friends and you can acknowledge it even & if youre mature enough about it it's Fine #he'll let her believe he has 0 possible interest in her bc it's easier that way. for both of them. #he doesnt want her to get her hopes up. doesnt wanna lead her on. #and YEAH MAYBE IM A POLYGUN TRUTHER I THINK ALL 4 OF THEM WOULD BE GREAT TOGETHER #for the purposes of this fic im keeping it to just the vashwood #but i cant resist... a lil sprinkle here and there...... #like them meeting with a goddamned meet cute & then vash subsequently being an Asshole by getting her hopes up & then dipping #thats like. the vibes. thats the thing. vash realizing he needs to nip this in the bud bc he Cant be what she wants him to be. #im just. man. i have some Thoughts about this all. #if you couldnt guess vash & meryl r having some relationship development this chapter. im excited !!!! #they Will be friends!!!!!!! soon.

[inthecarwithaboy]

S6 hopes and dreams: Eddie gets some physical affection. Someone tells Eddie what HE means to them and how important he is. Not how he saves people or is an amazing dad. Just how he is an amazing person, loved and treasured just for who he is, not what he does or how well he parents

#i'm a little bitter as an eddie stan rn #i keep seeing all this buck whump and s6 buck breakdown stuff #you know how much affirmation buck has received? #a fuuuuuckton #like seriously #got damn #buck had his breakdown in s3 and another smaller on in s4 #he had heaps of support and love from maddie and eddie and the firefam #eddie had his breakdown and bobby and buck are the only people who even really acknowledge it #no physical affection #no words of affirmation #i'm not discounting how much support he got from bobby and of course buck #but a person needs more than someone getting them back to work and watching over things while they go to therapy #more than just listening #ramon of all people said the most personal heartfelt thing to him #followed by chris #and that's sweet but comfort from your kid is just not the same as from a friend/partner/adult #i'm having a truly bad day #sorry #eddie diaz #911 #911 on fox

[missgallavjch]

i think we don't talk enough about sasuke being naruto's first friend

#like ofc naruto would go to such lenghts for him #he was the first kid his age to treat him like a normal person and to show him care and affection #imagine being hated and feared all your life without even knowing why #being shunned even by your peers #even without considering the whole 'we were both alone etc.' thing ofc the person who shows they care about you would mean the world to you #and ofc iruka is super important to naruto too since he was the first one to acknowledge him #but ig it's different?? cuz iruka was an adult and acted like a sort of father figure while sasuke was a kid just like naruto #and unlike other characters he never needed to change his mind about naruto's worth #i hope what im trying to say makes sense #sasunaru #narusasu #sns #naruto #susy.txt

[barnbridges]

my most education major take is that people don't want you to parent your children anymore. people don't want mothers (and fathers) to give any sort of life-advice or care to their children. people have become so therapy-obsessed and the whole "intergenerational trauma" craze has made it so that you should actually pass nothing onto your child. you should just take your child to therapy and feed them baby formula until they're 18 and at that point, they're on their own. it's cruel and inhumane and the way people want to de-involve society at large in the raising of children, down to that they shouldn't even be parented anymore.

#again im childfree maybe im way offbeat but i think way too many of the expectations that are placed on parents esp mothers #come from people who never have or want children #im not trying to say pass all your shit to your kids like you're in hereditary #but you SHOULD pass things and life principles and likes and dislikes onto your child #i think people nowadays are obsessed with emotionally well children and don't think that sometimes #you have to lack things as a child to develop into an adult that has will and capacity to survive #idk #you can say this is cruel and anti-therapy or whatever the fyck you want #but grandparents and schools and aunts and uncles used to be so involved in raising children. #there USED to be a village for every child #it was NORMAL for your child's teacher to discipline them and teach them not school but life principles #nowadays apparently nobody but a fucking phone and a therapist can raise children #which i think is contributing to the way mothers are treated in our society #if we don't acknowledge it's fucking hard to raise children and that you SHOULD be individual in it and focus not just on needs #and random pop psychology but also on what the human in front of you is growing into #i think it's bullshit and it in the long run would not be good for our world

[pointsfortrying]

-

#rye rants #vent #actually no im going to keep talking to myself gjskg #i rly!!! rly rly hate #the like #culture??? #of shaming kids??? #like. #again in the assumption that they're stupid or evil or etc etc and also in like #jokes when you're calling some random adult who's incredibly awful or bigoted a 12 year old or something and like. i #get it ofc i do its just a joke except God that shit caused me So much anxiety when i was like 10-16 #and just ppl are getting exposed to the internet when they're young and we all know this except its rly just. doesnt feel like ppl #are allowed to be young and like minors constantly claiming that they're old enough or responsible enough or mature enough and just #because they want respect! they want respect and want to be acknowledged and treated like a person but just #its so fucked up they feel pressured or the need to do that and like i Know #it can!! be tiring!!! to deal with young ppl online for Various reasons #and you do not owe your time to anyone but im still just. #wishing i could go back to when i was first getting on the internet and shake myself and go 'it is Okay to Not know Everything #and it is Okay to not be 'an adult' it is okay to be a kid!!! #your brain is Literally Chemically and Physically still developing!!! you have only been walking this planet for like #a decade-less than 2 decades!! of course you dont have the same range of experiences as those older and its Okay!!! #just gnrmgnrg #i used to be so obsessed with knowing everything and not being one of 'those 12 year olds' and just. i was!! a respectful kid in that i was #willing to learn new things and understand new things but just gnrngnrng #biting biting biting wishing id let myself be okay with just being a kid bc i Was a kid and there's nothing wrong with being a kid #and a lot!! a lot of ppl feel this way! #might not realize it but just. #its not everyone of course not but the internet is such a double edged blade for kids and i wish there was a way to make it better #just gjdkgkd this is So incoherent but i wish ppl who talk shit on minors as if they were never one a very Stop

[plotwholls]

Me, every time I feel out of control: haha wanna see how long I can not sleep?

#Ik it’s horrible but I literally don’t have other coping methods #trying to fall asleep is like my brain cells made driving me nuts a competition #so as much as I *LOVE* sleep #getting to sleep is a whole ass battle and when ur parents turn one of your rare decisions to get help into THEIR decision? #the other day my dad forced me to eat and ever since I’ve been forcing down gag reflexes to drink water #it’s not like… a stubbornness thing #I’m not doing this because “well you said I should so not I won’t >:[” #it’s more like my parents refuse to acknowledge I’m an adult but then do specific things to “treat me as an adult” #except it’s stuff like trying to control how I get my driver’s license but they won’t help me fill out a fafsa even though I need their info #and like #my parents are genuinely incredible #I could’ve landed way worse parents #but they CONSTANTLY try to gaslight me and it’s fucking infuriating #like I am CONSTANTLY playing bsf to my mom in the middle of a conversation where she was treating me like I’m five #and then she’ll do things like pay for things that I don’t need and didn’t really want and it’ll be $600 #but when I want to make an investment in something I think would be beneficial to my life she’s like “do you think I’m made of money??” #and the thing is $50 #that’s not even getting into my “gaslighting and guilt tripping ur child isn’t abuse it’s parenting” father #I truly love them but if they keep this shit up I AM going to loose my shit #whether that means I go no-contact or just check into a mental hospital is undetermined

[chrispineofficial]

one of the biggest things i believe to be true about relationships is that you must make it feel safe for the people you love to call you out on shit. like obviously don’t let anyone emotionally manipulate or terrorize you but in general, in healthy adult relationships, there is always a pattern of rupture/repair. someone does something (unintentionally!) that makes someone else feel not great, and it needs to be addressed. the best thing you can do to preserve and improve your interpersonal relationships is to be open to these conversations. you have to be able to hear how your words or actions have affected someone, even if it absolutely wasn’t your intention, and you have to be able to simply acknowledge and apologize. it doesn’t matter if you didn’t see it that way. someone you love did, and they care enough to tell you, and that’s a gift. be grateful for the opportunity to do better.

[fantasylandloser]

marriage pact

summary: besties that plan to get married

warnings: smut, mdni, dry humping, idrk what else I should put here so message me and lmk, steve's happy trail, slutty steve, big dick steve

pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

A/n: This started off as one thing then it manifested into something else, and this is 4k words of idk and there MIGHT be a part 2

update here is part 2

****

Steve loved your slumber parties that had carried over from your childhood. Initially the two of you would binge watch movies, while his parents were who knows where. Up until you were about twelve he slept in the bed with you until one day your parents decided that he couldn’t do that anymore and gave him his own room for when he stayed over. 

Your family was well off due to your father being in business with his and it was probably no big deal for them, but Steve appreciated it nevertheless. He felt so loved in your home, so he made it his second. He was there at least three nights a week, until the two of you got into highschool and his dad wanted him to get serious about basketball. Then it was late night practices and meeting up with girls. He still came around at least once a week for dinners, but usually he was busy. 

You were surprised when he didn’t go away for college. Even more so when he decided to get his own job and start at the community college in Hawkins instead of living off his parents. Eventually he was back to being at your house all the time, until one day your mom randomly asked him to move in, suggesting that he was there all the time anyway. Which he agreed to with speed. So, now your slumber parties were more frequent, and more fun now that you were adults and your mom took away the rule that Steve couldn’t stay in your room.

Now your slumber parties included the two of you gossiping for hours on end about who was pregnant, talking through movies, and newly you doing Steve’s skincare. At first he tried to pretend that he didn’t like it, until one day you decided you didn’t feel like it and he begged you to do it anyway.

“Close your eyes.” You say from your position on his stomach, your thighs fitting snug on each side of him. One of his hands resting on each one. You didn’t need to be sitting on him of course, but Steve claimed it would be easier on your back if he were laying down (which was not true) but you went along with it because it was Steve.

“So bossy.” He murmurs but closes his eyes nonetheless, his fingers messing with the hem of your shorts. You hum in acknowledgement not really able to focus on the task at hand. 

“Is this new?” Steve asks, referring to the cool goopy substance that you were putting on his face.

“Yeah, I’m testing it on you before I put it on my face.” You say jokingly. But not really, considering that's what you were actually doing.

The snort Steve lets out brings a smile to your face. “Well, I’ve been your test dummy since we were kids so I’m not surprised.” 

“Glad that you finally accepted the dynamic of this friendship. Now stop talking.” He huffs at the command but still listens anyway, a small smile resting on his face,that you could never ask him to wipe away. Your brain short circuits a bit when he pulls his hand back to the center of your thigh, his thumb continuously rubbing over the smooth skin. You couldn’t help but wonder when that got added to the dynamic of your friendship. 

“Now sit with that for ten minutes.” You could see him getting ready to protest so you quickly added, “and be still!” You know he’s gonna bitch about it when you go to take the mask off. He hates sitting still more than anything but he could deal for ten minutes.

When he feels the pressure from your body weight pressing into his stomach start to lighten, his hands finding your waist even with his eyes closed.

“Steve.” You huff, knowing he’s not going to let you move until he can, but it’s not like you actually put up a fight. Not like you actually wanted to be away from his warmth. So you stayed simply sitting on him for ten minutes. Watching him, thinking about how he was still so pretty even with the mask on his face.

When it was time for you to take it off. You almost didn’t want to, but you did , pleased to see that the product left him glowing. 

Steve finally opened his eyes after almost falling asleep when he heard you sigh sweetly. “All done?” He asks hoping that you weren’t even though he’d been laying there for about thirty minutes.  

“Yep.” You say until you remember the little gift you picked up for him at the store. “Wait one more thing.” Steve lets you get off him this time, a little hesitant but you don’t point it out. 

When you come back with what looked like a broken whisk, Steve was a little reluctant. “I think this is where my test dummy days end.” You roll your eyes at his dramatics sliding back to your spot on his stomach.

“You’ll like it.” You tell him. Despite the growing anticipation about whatever the device was, Steve is quick to accept you and it into his space, his hands on your hips to steady you as you sit down. 

“I doubt- fuckkk.” Steve moans raggedly, cutting himself off and surprising you, making you stop your movements with the hair massager. You catch your composure quickly though, continuing to massage his scalp.

“So dramatic.” You try to tease, to lighten the heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach. You knew Steve had a thing for getting his hair pulled. He hooked up with half the girls in your class, so his likes and dislikes tended to get around and made for some pretty interesting lunch room conversations.

You didn’t realize a scalp massage would elicit the same reaction. You also didn’t realize that his reaction would have an effect on you. His whole body seemed to glitch. HIs eyes are barely able to stay open and the grip on your hips tightening.

Once his initial dramatics calmed down, he began letting out soft appreciative sighs. His grip on you fades to soft circles on your thighs.

“I’m gonna marry you.” He tells you, with his eyes closed. You knew he meant it. He told you that he wanted to marry you one day in high school. He’d been drunk but he let you all the way in on his plan to make a life with you, one day when you’re both ready.

He told you how he thought about building a house for you, and having your last name be harrington and how he wanted to have a bunch of kids with you. You thought he’d been joking teasing him about it the next day, but he simply smiled at you with a blush forming on his cheeks telling you that he meant it.

Ever since then, every couple of months he’d say it again. Like he was reminding you, or really asking you to wait for him. Which you did. Neither of you had made much of a move or anything and sometimes one of you would date  someone else, but in the back of your mind you would always remember that you were marrying Steve and that’s just the way it was.

“Mhmm.” You hum, simply acknowledging like usual. To your surprise Steve's eyes open and he zeroes in on your face. 

“I’m serious.” He’d never done this before, made more room for conversation about it. He seemed like he wanted more than gentle acknowledgment.

“I know.” You say, pretending to busy yourself as you set the massager to the side, just to get away from the intense way he’s looking at you. When he sits up on the headboard you know he means business. You never guessed now would be the time you finally actually talked about it.

“Do you really?” He asks. Steve didn’t know if you knew how serious he was.

“Yeah.. we’re getting married.” You tell him, fidgeting with one of his hands in your, absently looking at his nails instead of him. “You’re gonna build me a two story house, two streets away from my moms. In that field we used to play in. And we’re gonna have six babies and I will not let you help me name any of them because I already have a list.” You catch a quick glimpse of his face. “I remember.” You tell him. 

You expect him to let it go now that you’ve rehashed the entire plan he layed out for you years ago. You don’t remember when you got so attached to the idea. Or when you started contributing your own dreams to the plan but it had grown for you and speaking it out loud you realized how badly you needed it to happen.

“You have a list?” Steve’s chest was warm as it dawned on him that you wanted a future with him the same way he did with you.

Your face warmed, embarrassed thinking that he would tease you. “Yes. They’re all non negotiable.”

“Can I see it?” He asks, his voice soft. “Please, honey.” Honey. This is no longer best friend Steve. This is future husband Steve, making his first ever appearance. 

When you shake your head with a shy smile, Steve can’t help but smile back.”Why not?” He asks you in that same soft voice that had you feeling gooey on the inside. 

“Stop using that voice.” You whisper, feeling flushed. Steve couldn’t help but chuckle. He’d never known you to be shy, but here you were being all bossy while hiding your face in his neck. 

“You’re so perfect.” He’s teasing you, trying to see how embarrassed you’ll get. He also means every bit. “Prettiest girl in the world.”

“You’re bein’ weird.” You tell him unsure what to do with yourself with all these changes being made so quickly.  

“It was weird not telling you how beautiful you are everyday.” You don’t expect him to keep listing. “So sweet, too.” He adds. “Always taking care of me and never letting me praise you for it. I can’t wait to take care of you.” The implications of that do not go over your head. “Bet you’ll be such a good little wife.” 

Steve expects you to make some little quip or try to play off how embarrassed you feel. He’s expecting you to descelate how quickly he’s moving. But instead your voice whispers “I hope so.” You’re right in his ear too, so he knows he isn’t mistaken and he knows that this is the last night you’ll ever consider yourself just friends.

*****

Steve should have kissed you last night. He can’t help but think about that over and over, as he realizes he didn’t seal the deal. He should have done something to prove to you how serious he was. 

But it was too late because he didn’t kiss you and the morning had been decidedly awkward when you realized you didn’t know what any of that meant for your immediate friendship. Because initially the plan had been to wait. Was the wait over? Did you want it to be over? You spent the majority of your day trying not to think about it. Steve however wouldn’t shut up about it. Sadly for Robin she had to be on the receiving end of this conversation.

“Robin, this is serious. What if I fucked everything up? What if she thinks I’m leading her on?” Steve runs a hand through his hair, seemingly deep in thought. 

“I doubt that. I mean you’re planning on marrying her- which I take offense to not knowing about this little pact or whatever,” she adds. “But that’s like the total opposite of leading on.” She tries to reassure wanting to really get Steve to shut up about it.

“No you don’t get it-” Steve starts again, only to be interrupted. 

“Ughhhh!! How can I not get it if this is your sixth time going over it? Steve, I get it! You’re overthinking this when it’s really simple.” Robin gestures. “You love her and you want to get married and blah blah blah, but before you guys get married how about you try to, I don’t know actually date?” She says sarcastically. “Unless you were just going to propose after a thousand years of sleepovers and dating other people.” She adds. 

And although it was unnecessarily sassy, Steve realized that Robin might have a point. “So I should ask her out?” He tries to clarify much to Robin’s dismay. Luckily for her the door opening saved her from another round of easily answered questions. And even more lucky for her it was you and not an actual customer.

“Hey what are you-” Steve was cut off by you taking his hand and dragging him to where you knew the break room was after bringing him lunch on multiple occasions. You had tried and failed to not think about this whole situation. 

The one thing that had been bothering you the most is how long it was taking. You realized it was because you let Steve call the shots, and you quickly remembered why you never let Steve call the shots. Steve took too long to make decisions and well you knew what you wanted. So you had always been the leader in your friendship, deciding what movies you’d watch, what games you’d play, the parties you would go to. Everything really. You could do that here too, you realized. 

When you close the door behind you Steve is looking at you expectantly. He’s half thinking that you’re gonna cuss him out, so he doesn’t expect it when you grab him by his shirt to kiss him. You’re all over him for about five seconds. Your scent. Your taste. Your skin. Your hair. Then you’re gone. Patting his shirt back in place, shakily. You’re nervous. Steve realizes. 

“Okay that was all-” Steve’s pulling you back to him before you can run off. Letting his lips capture yours just the way he’d dreamed of. Feeling you relax into him as he cradles your face.

“So sweet.” He murmurs against your lips. He finds it amusing how the words send you back into your shyness from last night. The way you went from determined to timid and unable to even look at him properly. Steve was curious about this side of you. You were never this easily flustered.

“When did you get so shy?” He asks and you know he’s taunting you. He’s still holding you close to him, his fingers messing with the ends of your hair as he tries to find any reason to keep touching you. 

“M’not.” You oppose half-heartedly. He lets out a gentle sound of acknowledgment, obviously ignoring you, and knowing he would press all those buttons later. Privately. 

“You’re so beautiful.” You think he’s still teasing you and you hate that it's working when you feel your face heat up and you’re hiding it in his chest. Steve really means it though, it was the first thought that came to his head when he saw you walking through the door. Your hair free and your face without makeup. A skirt that your mom would deem a few inches too short and a shirt that he’s seen a million times because you love it so much. 

Gathering your courage, you finally look at him. His kiss swollen lips are the first thing that grabs your attention the second is the way he’s looking at you. Like he’s waiting on you to call the next shot. 

“Will Robin be okay, if we go to your car?” The next few moments are a blur because now he’s the one dragging you out of the breakroom, pausing only long enough for Steve to beg Robin to cover for him. Which she agreed to with a poorly concealed smirk on her face.

You were expecting Steve to open the back door and usher you inside. Instead he opens the driver side and pats his lap expectantly, after moving his seat all the way back. When you hesitate he’s grabbing you by your thighs and maneuvering you to where he wants you. “What if someone sees us?” You ask, knowing how fast information like this whipped around town. 

“Nobody parks on this side, honey.” Steve tells you those big puppy dog eyes staring into you. And because he’s Steve, and he’s calling you honey, and you trust him more than anyone you know, you believe him. 

“Okay.” Is all you say before your lips are back on Steve’s. It was a sweet kiss really, and Steve tried to let you control it for a while, until you were trying to back away from him again. With his experienced lips working over yours, you’re so consumed you barely realize the way you’re grinding yourself over his lap. Well not until his hands are on your ass, pushing your skirt up and controlling your once sloppy movement.

“There you go, sweetheart.” He says breathlessly, when he finally comes up for air. His lips find purchase against your neck. He kisses his way up the slope of it, relishing in the sound of your little gasps, until one particular spot sends a shudder down your spine. He sucks that spot. 

Absent-mindedly, your hands find their way off his shoulders and into his hair, barely thinking about it twice before you rake your nails across his scalp softly. The soft hum he lets out gives you indication that you should continue. Your hands stay in his hair for a bit, and you’re too nervous to actually pull it, but it does get you thinking about the other places on his body he has hair. Namely his happy trail. It sat perfectly right in between his abs and you usually had to avoid looking for your own sake. 

You’re yanking his shirt out of his jeans before you give it much more thought. And even though you’re too busy humping Steve to get a good look, feeling it against your bare hands has you whimpering. 

“Stevie-” You’re cut off by your own moan as your clit catches perfectly against Steve’s zipper. It doesn’t get past Steve that you sound so fucked out. Your tone bordering on a whine, clearly frustrated.

“Look at you.” Steve coos. “Doin’ such a good job for me, sweet girl.” Pressing a light kiss to your lips. Steve couldn’t help watching you chase your own pleasure, shivering at his praise.. Your eyes pinched shut, but your hands are all over him like you know every part of his body. 

“Can you open your eyes for me?” He asks with his hands pushing your hair out your face. When you do, he admires how dazed you look. How you probably barely remember your own name. “There she is.” Steve knew he was about two seconds from coming in his pants. He was also aware of the fact that once you were done with him he’d have to go back inside to finish working his shift.

“Stevie” You start again, “M’so close. Feels so good.” You tell him, your movements becoming frantic causing your boobs to sway deliciously. You don’t register your top being pulled down, until you feel Steve licking at your nipple.

A hungry groan rising from the back of his throat. “Perfect fucking tits.” His hands leave your ass, leaving the pace to you. He pinches your right nipple between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it to test your reaction. When you lurch into him. Humping him harder than before, he knows he’s a goner. But you are first. Your orgasm hits you so fast, it surprises you with tears springing to your eyes at the intensity. 

Steve’s a close second behind you, leaving the two of you panting and trying to catch your breath. As soon as Steve recovers he’s tending to you, pulling your top back in place, trying to see how you felt. 

He can’t help but admire that after that you went right back to your embarrassed state, obviously self conscious. “You’re perfect.” He tells you again, pressing another light kiss to your lips. When you grin at him, his heart beats fast and he can’t help but be happy at the line the two of you just crossed. 

“You too.” You say, your head is still a bit fuzzy as you check the damage. You’re about to launch into an apology about the obvious wet spot on Steve jeans but he beats you to it. “Stop worrying.” He’d been watching the spot form as time went on and kept willing it to get bigger. Liked that you were making a mess all over him and yourself too. 

“You have to go back to work.” You state, guiltily. 

“I have an extra pair of pants in the backseat, sweetheart. We’re all good.” You’re relieved for a number of reasons, climbing off him into the passenger seat. You don’t know what you were expecting but you realized it wasn’t him yanking his pants off, revealing his now cum stained gray boxers. And you certainly weren’t expecting him to drag the boxers off as well, which revealed his huge fucking dick. The tip is now sloppy and slightly red, and you can tell it isn’t as hard as it was.

“Oh fuck.” You say barely recognizing your own voice. Only to repeat yourself when he uses his sullied boxers to wipe the rest of the cum off, watching it twitch from the stimulation.

“He doesn’t like to be stared at, ya know.” Steve teases you, reaching back for his jeans. 

Your eyes keep flickering back to his face and back to his dick, and you know there’s no way he’s been carrying that around for the entirety of your friendship and you simply had no idea.

“Steve.” You say dumbfounded. No words available to express your shock, as he pulled his pants on to cover himself.

“No more ‘Stevie’?” He asks, mocking you. The smile on his face tells you he’s just messing with you but you can’t help your cheeks going up in flames.

“You’re the worst.” You huff, but you’re still smiling despite your embarrassment. 

“Mhm.” He’s reaching over the console to kiss you again, this time sweet and chaste. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll stretch you open for me, before I fuck you, sweetheart.” You gasp feeling his hand on the band of your underwear.

“Lift up for me.” You do, allowing him to pull the drenched fabric off of you, you hide your face in your hands when he lifts it to his face to sniff. You were quickly coming to the realization that your best friend was dirtier than you ever realized, even with all the gossip that got back to you.

You feel yourself manage to flush even further when he murmurs to himself “sweetest fucking girl” he stuffing them in his pocket in the next second, then reaching back over for you when his phone lights up. 

Robin’s name lighting up the screen. He huffs a little as he reads the text and you know she’s getting snappy. 

“Come on, let's go before Robin kills you.”  There’s no use in asking for your underwear back so you just pull your skirt down as far as it will go before stepping out the car, trying to ignore the slickness of your thighs. After Steve walks you to your car, he presses a kiss to your forehead, stating that you’ll talk later. 

When he walks back into Family Video he looks disheveled, a completely new pair of pants, his shirt no longer tucked and wrinkled, but Robin is relieved to know that she won’t have to answer anymore stupid questions from him.So she leaves him be for the moment, but he definitely owes her big time. 

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