#im just making concepts for funsies

[ralvezfanatic]

ralvez w/ cishet Luke and Trans!Spencer where they're dating before Spencer comes out (as a transman) and during their relationship, Luke realizes he's actually gay !! and he doesn't know how to tell Spencer that. And Spencer then figures out that he's trans and also doesn't know how to tell Luke that !!

#idk what im on abt #im just making concepts for funsies #I'll write some of my ideas one day #(lying) #𖤐 rambles #criminal minds #luke alvez #spencer reid #ralvez

[cloudysarts]

this show would be good if literally everything about it was different

#read these tags please(unless ur an HH fan in which case please ignore them) >>> I DO NOT LIKE THIS SHOW #i hate viv///ziepop so fucking much its actually unreal. every time i think about her i seethe #been hatewatching it ('legally') nd its awful. like i mean i knew it would be going into it but goddamn. so much worse than i expected #you may be like 'whyd you draw this then'. i wanted to make a finished piece with my redesigns #for funsies me and my boyf have been rewriting/redesigning the whole show . thats been our fun little craft #i feel similar about this that i do about fnaf and miraculous ladybug even tho this is objectively worse in every way #theres this eternal feeling of like. man. if the writers were competent then this concept would be interesting #but theyre not so. here we are #anyway. im gona try not to put hate in the tags lol #but i like how this turned out too much NOT to post it #anyways mutuals please dont unfollow me for this i promise im normal JDSFHJKDFHJDFKHJK #Hazbin Hotel Redesigns #Hazbin Hotel Critical #Angel Dust #Husk #Huskerdust #I guess. #genuinely a little scared to post this ones. im scared ill lose mutuals over this AND/OR fans will harass me for those tags JHKSDFHJKJK #im posting it and then immediately going to sleep. might delete later if even 1 thing goes wrong #EDIT RL QUICK i wanna add: i dont care if you like the show <33 good for you!!! i respect it!! i liked it when i was 14. i just dont now. <

[sp1resong]

what if i made a mechanisms adaptation of razia's shadow. What then

#by which i mean 'razia's shadow but gay and in space and with slightly different songs' #......creature who's only listened to the mechanisms listening to their second concept album/musical: #spire rambles #not maintagging this sorry #NO BUT. im already thinking about stuff. like the worldbuilding. and who would be voiced by which mech #either tim or ashes as ahrima definitely. tim because the voice fits and ashes because. burning down a planet #leaning ashes for sure .. tim as barayas maybe? might even make him the Mandatory Mechanism Getting Involved in the Story for funsies #since he's pretty much the only one who doesn't appear in any of their actual albums #(along with ts? i kind of consider it to have been present in ouatis but it doesnt show up in the album proper i suppose) #it would make sense #............i think im literally the whole target audience for this one LMAO #the razia's shadow fandom is a bit on the dead side and i doubt there's much overlap with the mechs. if any. #< not counting myself ofc #hmmm. 'twould be a good chance to mess around with songwriting (something i enjoy) and writing in a new format (always fun) #.....ill be dead fucking honest im like 99% going to do it it's just kind of a matter of When #Anyways! that is enough tag rambling for one night. farewell

[the-flying-aquatos]

The best (still making shit up) explanation I can have for placing Augustus in the role of Karnak is that, unaware to himself and everyone else, he had not only the ability to predict the future, but to communicate with spirits. Powers that practically nobody, psychic or otherwise, has.

Rambling abt plot ideas below.

He only became aware of them the day he took the recently self-appointed choir (things got a little chill after all the stuff that happened, and any missions that did happen were too much for the kids, so they started a choir to pass time) to the fairgrounds.  Because hey, he and his family are already going to travel around and perform a bit before heading back home, why not bring the rest of the kids along too? They can perform and have a good time themselves. So while Augustus and Donatella were setting up for the next show/watching over the little ones, and Lili and Raz were off having their own fun (with Harold the rat as supervision of course), the older kids decided they were going to go on this totally safe looking roller coaster!

It was the second Frazie pointed it out that something suddenly shot through Augustus, and all at once he saw *everything*. He felt the things the children had felt, almost as if he’d experienced their lives himself, and then he saw it. He saw his son and his daughter board that ride with their friends, and he saw the roller coaster derail and crash and he knew what happened after that.  But he couldn’t make it in time.  They were too far away. By the time Augustus had rushed to the scene of the ride, the kids were already on board, he got there right at the exact moment that the crash happened. Luckily, he wasn’t hurt, physically. Because while his son had at least remained together, he then found his eldest daughter’s body. Without her head.

And that was the last straw for that poor man. He was sent into such a state of shock and grief that his mostly dormant powers went into overdrive. So much so that he forgot who his own daughter was because he was experiencing so much at once, and because he was in that state of shock, the body couldn’t be identified. Why not by someone else? The rest of the choir wasn’t around to say, and Augustus’ powers had become so strong in his mourning, that he unknowingly forced that side effect onto all around him. Nobody remembered her. Not even her own family.  His ability to speak to the deceased? That seemed rather irregular, but what was more irregular was when he found himself gifted an ability. An ability to bring one of these poor children back to life. This was 100% something much more...non psychic related, but it’s not like he could entirely question it. The obvious answer would be his son, Dion, but he held this competition anyways, so that all the children could voice their reasons, and mainly because he wanted to hear what the girl who could sadly only be identified as “Jane Doe” had to say. Because he may not have remembered her name or who she used to be, but he remembered one thing about her past: she’s his missing daughter. Nobody remembers her face or her name, but he knows in his very soul that this is his daughter. And he hoped that through this game of sorts, he could remind himself who she was. And maybe see if one of these other kids deserve to go back more than she does. He’d just have to wait and see, even if their lives flashed before his eyes before the accident.

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #psychonauts au #my au #Psychonauts: Ride The Cyclone au #Augustus: I'm so happy I can see my children even after they've gone :) #Dion: Okay sooo- #Dion being Noel is something I will never not find funny #imagine being Augustus in that situation. that has to be the most awkward thing the poor man #I don't entirely usually make aus that focus on such an angsty concept but CMON #there is so much SPICE and DRAMA wherein Augustus has to choose ONE child to bring back #and he has to make a selection between all those kids who he's only recently learned the lives of #and one of his two deceased children #ofc im a sucker for happy endings too so they might all get to come back just for funsies #not sure yet

[tardlard]

hazbin hotel redesign part 1/?? (doing this for funsies tbh, lore below)

BACKGROUND: so, charlie morningstar is a dynamis angel with the dream of rehabilitating sinners! heaven decides to entertain her ideas for shits and giggles, providing her with keekee (who is the hotel embodiment and a large book of sinner backgrounds to make sure nobody disgusting gets in) and sending her off to hell!

DESIGN CHOICES: i wanted to keep her color scheme since it fits well together, but changed it up a bit. shes more goat-like (yes her hooves are out let her frolic) w her horns, hooves, and a more defined nose. - theres this one belief with angels and demons, where angels have connected horns, blinded with gods light, but once they break, they fall. i wanted to use that approach with charlie, giving her a small crack to represent her faith in heaven fading (since heaven is supposed to be corrupt in the show) - the eye on her collar is heaven's watchful eye on charlie, and whenever she loses faith/hope or needs a private moment, the eye closes and/or dims -her collar is a simplistic replacement for a halo, since she has to somewhat blend in so demons wont target her ass for being holy -charlie hides her wings, halo, and overall 'angelic' form whenever she gets sent down, and attempts to blend in somewhat

CONCEPT SO FAR: -so, charlie goes to the seraphim and blabbers out her ideas, faithful in heaven being accepting and fully siding with her dream. but, approval's iffy, and it takes a while before heaven decides to go along with it (albeit they shit on her constantly for it). sent down with keekee, now her trusty book of sinner backgrounds and hotel embodiment/key, she gets to work on advertising her happy hotel!!! -first to arrive to the hotel is vedika (my vaggie rename), a fallen angel with the intent of guarding charlie and providing for the hotel itself. (not revealing she was an exterminator, and now these lesbians get SLOW BURN) -as they advertise, the infamous radio demon finds the idea of an angel wanting to redeem SINNERS entertaining, so he shows up and drags along husker and nifty to help around. (hes more evil here, me and my homies HATE alastor) -then they find a demon to bring along as the example/star of the redemption idea, angel dust (now more related to his mafia background, no more porn jokes guys11!!), and attempting to get him clean so heaven doesnt make fun of charlie as much feel free to critique me! im not the brightest in character design, so it'd be helpful to get any tips and tricks with my design! be nice tho, im just a gyal if this gets recieved okay, ill probs do another design 😋

#my art #hazbin hotel #hazbin art #anti vivziepop #anti spindlehorse #hazbin critical #hazbin criticism #hazbin critique #i dont support vivziepop #character redesign #tardlard design #charlie morningstar #rewrite #rough draft #for funsies

[vexdraticc]

obligatory mcc 28 red reindeer skin post

hello! im very new to this tumblr thing and as I post my backlog from twitter i figured i'd make a post for the mcc skins i did :) you may have seen these before. maybe.

*obviously the one ranboo used in the event wasn't this one!

links for your devious needs:

jojo

gem

scar

scar (BUFF)

ranboo

see also: concept sketch from when I was thinking up these guys + bonus "a very convex christmas" in which cub gets a dress too. for funsies

anyway. i never expected these to initially blow up the way they did but am appreciative of all the love! since this is also my first post i'll just. bump some of my stuff here.

my twitter

my twitch (i stream sometimes)

also vote for cleo in the mcytblr sexyman poll. thx <3

#mcc 28 #minecraft championship #mcc skins #mcc fanart #mcc 28 red reindeer #red reindeer #jojosolos #jojosolos fanart #geminitay #geminitay fanart #goodtimeswithscar #gtws fanart #ranboo #ranboo fanart #cubfan135 #cubfan fanart #convex #is this too many tags idk how to use this site #baxbrush

[scrimblyscrorblo]

I plan to fuck around and make a story w a masquerade idk I love a masquerade concept ngl maybe in a dnd inspired universe or smthn im not sure

Here are some concepts for characters that might be met, I like making fun side characters: the cat is a burglar, the bunny is a magical girl

Like there’d be people you meet in a village or town and then you’d meet them in costume again + some others

Idk what plot id make tbh probably murder mystery or maybe smthn else TT

Also a potential DnD oc I wanted to make - Ancient Greece inspired, servant of a sea god. I wanted to give her a jellyfish theme I hope it’s clear TT

Thought I’d post this just for funsies, smthn other than demon slayer for once, I like a good dnd characters but I havnt had the chance to play yet, one day though! I like my categories

#artists on tumblr #sketches #pen sketches #pen sketch #ocs #my ocs #oc stuff #oc sketch #other ocs #masquerade #dnd art #dnd character #dnd ocs #dnd #dnd oc #tried to type dnd and my hands typed fnaf TT #I like drawing big dresses #men need more dresses and dress like clothing #they’re good #also been tryina draw more older people #my default tends to be around early 20s and I wanna change that #also fat people #I feel like there’s a fluidity to the movement of fat on the body I’m not getting quite right yet #I WILL THOUGH #sometimes I think to hard on the 3D aspect of posing and get way too caught up #bodies are simultaneously simpler and more complex than you assume #watching odd carnivore diet stuff in the background #so confused

[hypocriticaltypwriter]

I’m probably gonna embarrass myself with this one bit i might have made and au that branches off of your White Wedding AU……… it’s call tongues and teeth and I quite literally have not stopped thinking about for the past like 3 days it kept me up at night last night

So hear me out on this because it also gives a little info on how the children would all represent the 5 stages of grief this is just for funsies if you don’t mind! I just love casper and chris that it physically hurts and i wanted to share this with you since you inspired me ^_^

So picture this

Each would represent a stage of grief IE meaning chris would represent acceptance as he the last child, though these children come with a curse as they cannot feel much emotion other than the emotion they hold meaning chris is very accepting wether he wants to or not, well as he gets older the more miserable he is due to only being able to express one emotion really, one day he runs into a boy on the other side of the chapel, a monster like him yet a monster who can feel too much they learn about one another and surprisingly fall in love not yet understanding what the strange feeling that pools in their stomach is and one day against his parents wishes he leaves the chapel to leave with the boy in which they trade their hearts, chris’s heart being a pale silver and caspers heart being a rich bronze gold, and so a child with a silver brain and a golden heart can feel for the first time in his life and the boy with the golden brain and silver heart can stop feeling everything so deeply all the time

Oh wow... This is.... Oh my God is just very incredible.... HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THE HEART THING THATS VERY IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT OF THE FIC-!?! HUH

Im totally in love with this idea Romeo!! It's very amazing and interesting and I like the concept 👀 it's a very interesting AU and I can't wait to see more of it if you plan to use more! I feel so honored that you wanted to make a little something branching from my own AU I'm so flattered truly! 🥺

#cherry rambles #cherry answers #ask #🦇🤍White Wedding AU🤍🦇 #fruitbats🦇🍒 #the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys

[rusty--rose]

thinking about rusty rose (+ black rose by association) soooo headcanons/assorted thoughts time. mostly centered around rusty i just like her

rusty she/it (it/its is out of reclamation + for funsies) black they/she . i dont make the rules i just enforce them

rusty used to be a regular little girl and was horrifically altered into a killing machine. the only organic part of her body left is a bit of its face. if youve ever discussed her with me you know i believe this wholeheartedly despite knowing the rating of the show would definitely keep them from touching on this.

the eye thats behind a cage is like. used for receiving signals and ui and other stuff. but most importantly its pretty much whats keeping its brain going and keeping it from processing what happened to her body. because if she did itd freak out

... i wonder what would happen if someone on the crew pointed it out lol.

something something phantom pains and traumatic memories hitting so bad that she shuts down (literally or mentally? thats for you to decide) for a few days! yaaaaayyy how fun!

i think the no place crew doesnt trust her fully with the obvious exception of black rose . they kinda just let her do whatever. it doesnt process this cause shes too focused on steering the ship and keeping it functioning (at least in the time between dread leaving and the new yoke invasion, which is probably a while if were taking weird time shit into account).

speaking of that. it doesn't sleep! she does that all night! the others have shown concern for this but it insists shes fine.

ok maybe im thinking more about her fully shutting down for a few days now . what about it. i should make a separate post about this but thats not how i operate

itd probably be after blackrose finally says something. i imagine she kinda feels that something is wrong deep down but pushes it back because she doesnt understand that stuff! theyre just a pirate girl! but one day she ends up waking up in the ungodly hours of the morning and goes to check up on rusty, poking her cheek to get her attention, and it just hits. thats skin! rusty is a friend! theyve always known that, but she never really thought about the whole robot thing too hard. and they end up asking about it. it doesnt go well, see above.

sails fixes her its okay :] like its not a perfect job but shes ok . sorry that was a long tangent

anyway YAYY HAPPIER STUFF UHM. i dont think it has a good singing voice. its very flat. not that the crew cares (once they properly warm up to each other at least)

the whole crew is family to me . rusty doesnt know the concept but it makes it feel warm. she thinks somethings wrong the first time it starts feeling like that

im a supporter of the flicky NOT being her power source theory (if it ends up being that you can ignore this part) so . sometimes she lets it out. its the crews parrot :]

idk this post is getting messy. im very sleepy ill just hit post now

also i made this ↓ feel free to use it

#wisp bein silly #long post #rusty rose #rusty #←for sorting

[qvietflight]

Im really late to the party, so someone might have mentioned this already and I just didn't see it. It isnt a theory in and of itself, just a little tidbit, but I keep turning it over in my head anyway.

Leander is chalk full of so much symbolism already, but he is presented as the (most?) human monster of the LIs. He is also the only character with green eyes, which feature in his monster silhouette. A literal reference to "the green eyed monster" that is envy.

Like i said, just a tidbit, but I wonder and wonder and wonder how that ties into the way his character is written.

Does anyone else just look things up while having casual thoughts? I went to wikipedia to look up envy just for funsies and then realized maybe my thoughts arent so casual anymore lol.

It was interesting to read about healthy envy vs unhealthy envy. The Dutch apparently have two explicitly different words for these concepts, which is cool. Essentially the former is envy that inspires a person to be or do better when faced with someone else's good fortune. The latter describes negative self-comparisons and desire to punish others for their good fortune. Also; "As children get older they develop stronger non-materialistic envy such as romantic relationships, physical appearance, achievement, and popularity."

The writers obviously didnt skimp on Leanders good looks, but it will he pretty cool to see how they play with the other three. Someone else already wrote the coolest analysis of Ais vs Leander and Leanders need to impress/appease others. I dont have it on hand because Im on mobile, but I also wont try to rehash it because Im far less articulate. I do think, however, that that desire to appease everyone at all times probably stems from a desire to be popular.

For all that he appears to be competent and well liked, consciously or subconsciously it seems like he might be making up for some kind of negative self comparison somewhere. Why tho?

Just so much to chew on. ugh.

#touchstarved game #touchstarved theory #tlk to text.exe

[cerealmonster15]

ok. a few years ago like in 2021 or something my friend and made some twst ship fankids and then i kept making more. three of them are hers i think so i will specify the, but i drew this specific stupid little map to keep track of whatevers going on here. no real plot or anything just concepts that i wanted to make a chart for. a multiverse i guess. dont worry about it dont think to hard about it. also the names were just based off the ship names for funsies lol they werent like fully developed or anything oK ANYWAY a brief explanation of each kid under the cut!

so it started with jamil/azul/idia actually. the other guys just kept spawning later lol uhh lemme see what i can remember.

and i had a second image where i'd drawn arrows on top of who is full siblings vs half siblings vs cousins but it was too tangled and also i forgot a bunch of arrows anyway so fsdlkjfjdskl i just left it out so if i sound like im referencing a forbidden second image and forgot to edit out that talk just. that's why lol.

ummm so i believe azeal, azidia, and treya-da were the ones my friend came up with, and i made everyone else lol. we did a little art of them early on but i dont wanna go find or post those 🤸‍♀️ umm also some of them are girls, we just ignore the fact that nrc is an all boy school cuz who give a shit. anyway heres what i remember:

jazzy-zu: she/her, first one i made i think, jamil/azul child. takes more after jamil in terms of athleticism- actually wait i remember we had a stats web chart somewhere too but i dont remember where that is and i dont feel like looking for it lol but i think jazzy was like, high energy and sporty, and has purple hair like azul [deeper purple maybe idr] and tan skin like jamil. i think shes a lil less academic maybe. more of a jock. her overblot i think was a snake hair ponytail + red eyes + fangs + tentacles bc shes also a half mermaid in general. she was maybe more of a prankster schemer and was my fave of the ones i made lol. i debated savanaclaw or scarabia for her but tbh thinking about it now i think savanaclaw is the way to go.

azeal [my friend's character]: he/him, the other azul/jamil kid. i think he was more azul energy and kinda posh lol. less athletic but maybe did fencing? i think the thing with him and jazzy-zu was he didnt like team sports like she does lol. he's in pomefiore. he maybe wanted world domination but i dont really remember. also an octomerman i think

jammi-dia: he/him, jamil/idia's kid. he's got more of a punk aesthetic and is into robotics i think? i remember drawing him with one of those custom furbys so i think he had more of a creative side. i think he was more intellectual and less athletic. i dont remember if he skateboards or if im making that up lol [there were more stats besides athletic and intelectual i just forget what they were lmao. social was probably another. i think generally none of these kids were very good at social skills tho]. he's in ignihyde so yea i guess he was the robotics boy. he maybe also had world domination plans but i also dont remember skdjfljdskl it was him and/or azeal.

Azidia [my friend's character]: she/her, an idia/azul kid. i dont remember as much about her, but i think she was a schemer. she's in ignihyde. was SHE the world domination character?? i swear there was at least one. possibly multiple. octomermaid.

idizu: he/him, i think he was the youngest of the ones currently mentioned so like first year age? i forget how old the others were but they're all within the first thru third year range. idizu was way more jittery like azul and into his robotics as well; i think he was kind of like a sidekick sometimes for either jammi-dia or azeal but i forgot which one lol. idk why i debated his dorm of ignihyde vs octavinelle bc i just think of ignihyde for him. octomerman. i think he was tiny and had like bright pinkish purple hair.

mallow: she/her, cater/idia kid. lol. i think this was the last one i made. i believe she/her. i cant remember why i drew her with pointy ears, hence the question mark 🤔 lol i dont think i developed her much bc she came much later but i had reopened the chart bc i was like WHY DONT I HAVE A CATER/IDIA KID IN THERE, but i forgot most of what i said about her. her name is a reference to marshmallows but dont worry about it, it's a very specific convo train between my friend and me that is cater/idia related but i just dont have time to get into it!!! anyway i think she was kinda like. not very social. a lot like idia but i dont remember what her caterisms were. SAD. i guess i put her in ignihyde.

KJ: i think he/him? kj bc it sounds like cayjay and he's the cater/jade kid lol. freak behavior. gets in your space and interrogates you very bluntly. kind of intimidating i think but maybe that was just cuz hes weird. i guess i went with octavinelle, thats where the shady ones go... i think i drew him once in merman form specifically as a wolf eel bc theyre bright orange, but actually just now i googled and the fangtooth moray is decently orange as well, jade is a moray, and cater described his own tooth as a fang tooth so maybe im overwriting the canon lol.

trey-daa [friend's character]: she/her, the trey/jade kid. was actually one of the first few made as well and was the only one that broke out of the azul/jamil/idia containment for a while until i thiiiink either kj or catie spawned. she's an eel mermaid and i think she had the combined energy of jade's smiling threats and trey's genuine care, so she was like Unsettling Levels of Hello Beloved Sibling And/Or Cousin Do You Need Me To Poison Your Enemies For You or something like that lol. heartslabyul apparently!

catie: she/her, trey/cater kid. like the only other human besides jammi-dia and mallow lol bc everyone else on this chart is HALF FISH!!! she was calmer than most of them. normiecore. she i think has a baking youtube channel to channel her parents hobbies. i think i defaulted to putting her in heartslabyul but i CANNOT REMEMBER why i have that potential octavinelle in there??? i drew her and kj hanging out once. she's friendly and probably the nicest of the group without hidden schemes lol.

tomaya: i do not remember the pronouns of this child. maybe she? idk. riddle/floyd kid made i think just bc my friend and i were like the popular tweel ships are trey/jade and floyd/riddle so we gotta have the cousin duo. i think tomaya's thing was that she(?) was like, polar opposite to her parents. floyd and riddle are kinda both really intense people so tomaya was more sleepy and reeeaaally chill. it took me a minute to remember why bc i first remembered one of the only times i drew tomaya was like, yawning and holding a pillow, and i was sitting here like "huh silvers not on this chart so why- OH YEAH to be an ironic different vibe lol". i dont know why we picked heartslabyul for her.

THAT'S IT but also. if i had space perhaps i would now add a riddle/azul kid. maybe even a jamil/riddle kid. get more riddle in here he's only got one!!! but if you leave me alone with characters too long i WILL find seven thousand combos to pair them in fjklsdjfkljKLJFKDLGJ ok anyway. um. spirals. maybe next time will be my caterella chart ok bye!!!!

#cereal tries to draw #lol technically my first twst ocs... pre char and danarte..... #ocs #twst oc #lol i guess... i am NOT giving them all individual tags tho like ill probs never post them again #but im embracing. my secrets. my secret shames. #next will be to get me to post the caterella multiverse web map LOL oughhhhfhghhfhhds f #im working my way to it #if im brave and bored enough tonight maybe ill start trying to make sense of it LOL

[magioffire]

cant believe we are still having debates about whether or not nonbinary people are trans and if we belong in the trans community at all....

listen guys im gonna make this REAL simple

transgender = when you do not identify as the gender you were assigned at birth cisgender = when you do identify as the gender you were assigned at birth

as far as i know, people generally are not assigned ‘nonbinary’ or ‘genderfluid’ or ‘agender’ or literally anything besides ‘male’ or ‘female’ at birth.  therefore all nonbinary identities are by default under the trans umbrella

people need to stop  mudding the waters, gatekeepng shit, and complicating stuff that doesnt need to be complicated it by creating all this discourse. pls stop complicating the definitions of transgender and nonbinary by claiming suddenly its *only* binary and/or full transitioning trans people who are the *real* trans people, and everyone else is a poser whom is....trying to get popular and positve attention by....identifying as one of the most misunderstood, marginalized, targeted minority group in the world??? yeah im sure everyone would just love to jump on the trans band wagon for funsies and shits and giggles in a world where people want to fucking KILL US.

 not only have concepts of androgyny and gender-noncomformity been around since humans had gender roles to subvert, but modern terms for nonbinary identities (lke genderqueer and genderfluid) are also a lot older than the 2010s. we’ve been here with the lgbt community since the beginning. we aint new. its like asking “do the people with gender fuckery belong in the gender fuckery club????” (spoiler, they do)

remember kids: throwing some of the most vulnerable, mischaracterized, least accepted members of your already marginalized community under the bus may get you brownie points in the short term with the party of leopards eating bad!!! evi!!! groomer!! trans people’ s faces, but once all the so called ‘degenerate’ trans people, gender-nonconforming cis people, and questioning people either have their faces eaten off or have to go so far back the closet just to avoid getting their faces eaten off, the party of leopards eating (actually every single) trans people’s faces will turn and eat your face too.

#tired of all the infighting and splittng hairs on people's identities #and people acting like they are some kind of authority on another person's subjective experience esp something as subjective as gender lolol #like who cares #really how miserable do you have to be to sit there and gatekeep how other people live their lives like omfg #also when a trans person completes their transition they dont just stop being trans #so stop acting like that is the ONE defining trait a trans person can have #and stop making up stupid ass insults for people who dont want to ruthlessly bully any trans person who doesnt fit into a box #stop fucking calling us stupid shit like 'tucute' and 'transtrenders' and 'theyfabs' and just say what you really fucking mean: #which we all know is 'f*ggot #'tranny' #'degenerate' #'sexual deviant' #'p*dophile' #like stop pussy footing around and pretending like you aint doing the far right's dirty work #and OWN YOUR DAMN BIGOTRY AND INTERNALIZED TRANSPHOBIA :) #tired of terfs and exclusionists doing the far right's dirty work of driving a wedge in the lgbt community and ruthlessly bullying #other trans people and any teenager who DARES to question their gender for a goddamn second #and then they have the gall to call themselves feminists or fighting for trans acceptance #or that they just are ~worried~ about the children or they are just ~concerned~ about detransitioners #ugh gag me with a spoon 97.5 percent of transgender teens who identified as trans 10 years ago stll identify as trans today #but shhh dont talk about that #cuz that destroys the narrative of: #'those evil groomer tr*nnies are brainwashng our poor little girls into hating womanhood and becoming evil stinky sex fiend men!' #or 'those evil p*do trans women are going through years and years of transition so they can corner ME SPECICICALLY in the women's bathroom. #'and as a white cis transphobic woman i am always the victim' (cuz lets be real its often those waspy types) #like transphobes get over yourselves #particularly if youre a transphobic trans person #sadly they exist :\ #so much self hatred being projected onto innocent people #cuz its somehow impossible to understand everyone has their own experiences that dont require YOUR validation to make them legit

[themonopolyhat]

shoulder the sky: the windix hanahaki au

that time i was screwing around in chat with @shootingstarpilot and accidentally coughed up a 6K+ windix-flavored hanahaki au for his shoulder the sky series. (hanahaki disease is a fic trope in which unrequited or unconfessed love causes flowers to grow in the afflicted person's lungs.)

compiling the comments here for funsies. featuring mace and helix, needle and stitch, cody, obi-wan, and a whole pile of tropes bubblegum-taped together.

as always, helix the clone medic belongs to @swmoddy, needle and stitch belong to @shootingstarpilot

the setup:

@shootingstarpilot​: this is taking the concept and running with it, but i like the thought that it's not just romantic feelings, it's familial too. im just thinking about kamino's fucked up upbringing, how dangerous that sort of out-loud acknowledgement would be--

@themonopolyhat​: oh i knew you would hurt me with this i knew it

@shootingstarpilot​: thinking about helix, helix who loves in everything he does but doesn't say it, never thought he needed to, starting to cough up flowers

my crimes:

so maybe it's not every clone, maybe it's just a few really unlucky ones that get hit with this predisposition

most of them die young bc kamino is a bad place and lots of clones get culled, it's statistically likely for any clone with a deviation from the norm to get caught and killed

helix is one of the very, very, very, very few that makes it out. and he does so without becoming a cold unfeeling bastard, which is the usual defense mechanism

if he loves someone, he starts to cough petals. the symptoms abate if he confesses. that's easy enough for him, he's a medic and he's kind and he's not shy. he tells his brothers he loves them, no problem.

sometimes he coughs petals for a few days before he figures out who the new culprit is.

sometimes he coughs for a few days and then the symptoms clear up, and he figures out that the culprit died.

the thing is that he really does have a good grasp of professional distance. he doesn't love every patient, though he cares for them. he's good at holding his heart carefully. he just doesn't mind loving colleagues and friends and batchers easily.

he loves needle on day three. coughs petals, isn't even fucking surprised. needle hugs him desperately when helix tells him he loves him. it's something needle hasn't heard since -- well. since he got up from the chair a different person.

he loves stitch on day two. that one's a surprise. it's not because stitch is quiet and wary and obviously, obviously hurt. that inspires sympathy and protectiveness.

it's the way stitch fixes pillows and adjusts cannulas and talks so softly to the men in his care. he remembers everything he's told. he's brilliant. he's sweet. he cares and he's talented and he doesn't ever look for praise.

helix tells him he loves him on day eight, because any sooner and he's sure the poor kid would shut right down on him. it's cutting it close -- stitch is confused but thanks him. helix pops another throat lozenge and goes about his day.

[needle and stitch] figure it out after a while and in retrospect they're like ohhhhh helix you enormous sap you loved us that fast???

things are fine, really

u n t i l

there comes a day, a little ways into the war, when helix coughs petals. and it takes him some time to realize that he's coughing them up over his first natborn.

the first natborn he's ever loved -- the first who's ever earned it --

helix just kind of bangs his head down on his arms when he finally cottons on. he's a moron. of course it's their general. their kind, funny, exasperating general who loves them and flings his body between them and pain and death every goddamn chance he gets -- who defends them with every scrap of that gigantic brain and that silvery tongue and the weight of his own title and influence and connections --

helix loves obi-wan. he's coughing petals over it.

his boys figure him out way too fast, as always, and they suss out the complication just as fast when they've cornered helix in the office.

needle and stitch stare, a bit wide-eyed, as the reality sinks in.

"have you ever -- a natborn --?" needle asks delicately.

"no," helix grumbles tiredly, rubbing at his sore throat. "exactly which natborn would have made the cut?"

"how are you going to tell him? does it work if you use synonyms, or if you say it like you're joking?" stitch asks, undelicately.

helix gives him a wan little smile despite himself. "unfortunately, no, it doesn't work like that. i experimented when i was young. and... gods, i guess if i don't want to die, i'll have to figure out the how sooner or later."

fortunately for helix, blind luck gives him an easy out soon enough.

he's holed up with the general alone in a shallow crater, where they flung themselves to avoid being spotted while picking their way back to their own side of the battlefield.

why are they out here alone? because helix is playing field medic today, his larty got shot down, four men survived the crash aside from him, two of them died minutes after, the other two he was able to patch but they couldn't move fast with their injuries, and helix ended up hiding alone after an ugly chase.

and then obi-wan turned up to get him, in person, already dusty and sweaty and dinged up after the day's fighting, and helix still doesn't know exactly how the hells the general found one lone clone out here.

so they're here in the depression in the earth, catching their breath and drinking a little of what remains in their canteens.

"shouldn't be long now," the general murmurs lowly, checking the coordinates and the sky. "we're not far. another hour or three, if we're careful, and we'll be past the droids' scanning range. then it's just another half a day to camp, if cody's scouts pick us up right away."

helix nods. watches his general poke at the readout from his wrist comm some more. "i'm sorry you came all this way for just one," he hears himself saying out loud.

obi-wan doesn't look over, which is, helix has learned, a sure sign he's feeling some strong emotion and hiding it. "i'm not," he says easily, the reply so ready he must have had to express similar sentiments before. "this is what i am for, really. i'm just sorry i wasn't there soon enough to save anyone else along with."

helix's throat itches, and his lungs feel abruptly heavy. he hasn't coughed in front of obi-wan yet, and he doesn't intend to start now. maybe it's the fact that he knows he's talking to an empath, but it doesn't seem so difficult to get the words out, not when they're delivered on a swell of feeling.

"you make it easy to love you, general," he murmurs. "and i do. love you, i mean."

(he has to be explicit, or it doesn't work.)

obi-wan does look over, now, and his surprise is clear to see. "oh. ah. well." it's not often that he's caught so flat-footed, and helix finds it both hilarious and charming. "thank you? you must know i care for you, as well." a pause. "very much, helix. i care for you very much."

helix knows what he means. he feels lighter. breathing, of course, is easier. so is running, when they inevitably get to that point in the escape.

[fast forward to] the SECOND natborn helix loves enough to start the flowers growing again

everything develops in series canon... [mace and helix are] trauma besties. then friends. confidantes. they trust each other. they care for each other.

mace comes into helix's life at the same time that practically everything is horrible. so it's understandable that the realization takes time.

the coughing doesn't start, luckily, until after helix gets back from his trip through the rift. after seeing the utter lack of recognition in that other mace's eyes, the impersonal sizing-up and curiosity and distance. after seeing his mace again, clocking the warmth and depth of mace's attention and attentiveness, the way he carries himself with such grace, the faint curve of his mouth when he's amused and the light in his eyes --

helix coughs. realization comes swiftly. he hides from needle and stitch for nearly a full day.

the first time his voice goes scratchy, needle eyeballs him malevolently. the first time he stifles a cough around stitch, stitch immediately comms needle. it's inevitable. helix is resigned.

"who is it?" stitch asks outright. "it can't be someone new. we haven't gone anywhere in days."

"except to the past, and i can't see helix being the love at first sight type," needle muses, as he often has before. (he's very right and should repeat the facts often, in helix's opinion.) "so it's got to be somebody he already knows and just had a Moment about."

stitch gently, carefully listens to helix's breathing and hands him a lozenge, with the exact air of someone handing a child a sweet after shots. "do we need to guess or do you want to tell us?" he asks.

helix sets his hand over his eyes. "it's mace," he says flatly.

"oh," stitch says brightly.

"oh," needle says, deflating somewhat. "that makes sense."

helix swallows a chuckle and, in a spurt of ill-timed desire for support (even if it's in the form of teasing and the worst suggestions known to clonekind), he adds, "it's not... the regular kind."

"oh?" stitch asks, frowning, immediately concerned, the diagnostician in him leaping to the fore.

"oh," needle repeats. he blinks at helix for a moment. "oh." surprise, delight, and smugness are fighting an audible pitched battle for dominance. "stitch, buddy, put that away. it's not a difference in strain. it's a different catalyst."

stitch looks at needle and waits for explanation, which he will get -- nobody who loves stitch plays coy with him, it's not kind.

"helix doesn't just love like a friend or a brother this time," needle continues, though his voice is quieter now, soft and overjoyed and conspiring. "do you, helix? it's more than that."

helix leans back and looks up at the ceiling, biting the inside of his cheeks to keep from smiling like an idiot. damn, but it does feel good to have it outside his own head. good and annoying, but for now he'll coast on the good. "more," he replies simply, dryly.

it's more than enough for needle, who audibly grabs stitch and shakes him in place. "stitch!" he hisses. "helix is in love. romantically. with general windu!"

a deafening silence follows. helix can hear stitch processing from here. "is that even allowed?" stitch wants to know. he sounds baffled. little gods on rye, helix adores him.

helix looks at them again in time to see needle squishing stitch companionably under one arm. "if it's not, most of the army is in trouble," he answers cheerfully. "show me a man who hasn't got a thing for at least one of the generals and i'll show you a certified liar. or a you, unless you're holding out on me."

stitch wrinkles his nose. "i'm not holding out. they're the generals." which is all the explanation he seems to feel is warranted.

"right, right, but you've seen the nose art and the tats and the cartoons on the forums. the polls, too. didn't you vote for general kenobi in the last 'sexiest jedi' poll?"

"yes, because general fisto was winning and general kenobi deserves our support."

"well there you go."

helix doesn't want to think about any of the jedi generals in terms of sexiness (except one, maybe, and isn't that a new and shining and fragile line of thought), especially not kenobi. he coughs lightly into his fist, catching their immediate attention. "widespread pining aside, i know i can count on you both to be discreet about this," he tells them. "i probably wouldn't say anything to him if this damned disease wasn't going to force my hand, but as it is... well. i'll figure something out. i just need some time."

helix may not have any prior experience with this kind of love, but he knows it's not the sort of thing he can confess easily or casually, like he does to his brothers. nor does he anticipate circumstances conspiring to give him a good opening, like he had with obi-wan.

he has to figure out how to tell mace he's in love with him. a clone in love with a natborn. in love with a jedi, and the master of the order, at that.

but first, there's the rift. the past. and there's ben.

(watching mace tread carefully around ben does nothing to tamp down helix's feelings. he coughs for some minutes every morning, now. petals and more petals, mixed with mucus. sometimes it's tinged pink.)

he doesn't find the time. he doesn't make the time.

in his defense, there's very little time to be found or made.

he blinks, and ben is gone, the rift sealed, and mace has so many duties pulling him in every direction. helix is busy, too -- the clones are hurtling toward citizenship, and one of their first acts of freedom after the war is declared over?

[shoulder the sky spoilers redacted]

mace is going with them. he's on a different ship.

helix coughs and coughs and coughs. he takes suppressants during the day, and pays for it at night. pink turns to red. petals turn to buds, then to blooming flower heads. a leaf here, a young stalk there.

some nights he lays next to the commode after heaving up half a garden and gasps for air, his vision darkening all around the edges.

needle and stitch notice. of course they do. they know his throat is sore, his breathing hampered. they see the exhaustion dogging his steps.

needle takes helix aside one day and very, very seriously affixes an emergency call bracelet to his wrist. "it calls to stitch and me, both," he says crisply. "use it any time, any shift. you know we mean that."

helix just looks at it, guilt stirring down deep. he's killing himself slowly here, like a moron. and he's making them watch.

"helix," needle presses.

"i will," helix tells him softly.

"don't make us find you," needle begs him.

which is what makes helix decide he actually will use the damn thing. if he needs to.

he needs to sooner than he expected.

he gets a comm from mace that makes him chuckle fondly for half a day after. that night, he coughs so frantically that he finds himself fumbling for the bracelet -- he's going to pass out, he can't stay upright, he's afraid he'll vomit and aspirate, so he tumbles sideways and hopes it's close enough to the recovery position --

he comes awake hacking, convulsing with it. a hand strikes his back firmly, and a voice murmurs to him that he's all right, most of it's out already, there are just a few residuals, it's okay, you're okay...

he blinks wetly up at needle and stitch, who've wedged themselves into the little 'fresher with him and look very solemn indeed.

"drink this slowly," stitch commands, passing down an opened bulb of water. it's been warmed and tastes like salt and lozenges -- one of stitch's own recipes for sore throats.

needle holds helix's head in his lap, stroking his hair. "we pulled the major obstructions out while you were unconscious." he pauses. "it's never been this bad before."

he's scared them. he can see it.

"you have to tell him," stitch says, with such clear uncomprehending pain that helix has to close his eyes against it. "you can't do this for much longer, not without staying in medbay for observation and intervention."

"which means we'll tie you to a bed and intubate you and you'll have to make your confession via battle sign," needle adds darkly.

it's a little funny. helix doesn't mean to laugh, but he does, a little. a cough rattles free.

"i'm sorry, boys," he murmurs, and presses his cheek to needle's leg. "i really am. your cmo is an idiot."

"yes," stitch agrees. "which is why i already asked ponds to have general windu comm you tomorrow at lunch time. you can tell him then and your throat and lungs can start healing."

"you asked ponds...?" helix croaks in surprise.

"well. i asked ace who asked ponds who called to ask me for clarification and then told me he'd arrange it."

needle is all smiles. he lays a hand across helix's brow. "i want to hear the details of that conversation later."

"later," stitch agrees peaceably.

helix gives a shallow sigh. he didn't want to do this over comms, but he's running out of options and he knows it.

fast forward, the call with mace gets interrupted, helix does not get to tell him. he ends up back in medbay and needle and stitch look so hopeful and he feels worse about having to shake his head than he does about his own diminishing health.

(it's not an easy death, or so he imagines. there's never been a clone who lived long enough to die of this particular ailment. they don't even really know how long it might take.)

there won't be another chance to talk to mace before they make planetfall. it will have to wait.

(he shakes his head, no he didn't tell mace, no he's not taking a shift off even though he was up late gagging on flowers, no he doesn't need a break, he's fine, he just needs to sip water and take a hit off the inhaler stitch concocted for him)

it must be mentioned that some of the 212th has noticed their cmo seems a bit off. the boys aren't stupid, and they're so accustomed to the way a clone ought to look and move that deviations due to injury or illness stand out like flashing alarms. helix's color isn't great, and his breathing is wrong, and he doesn't move as quickly as he used to. he talks like it hurts his throat. he shifts his balance like he's fighting dizziness, sometimes.

it's noticeable. they notice. they have noticed.

cody is the one who comes to ask. he sets his helmet precisely on the corner of helix's desk and looks him squarely in the eye. "you're sick," he says, straight to the point.

helix doesn't bother asking how he knows, or whether anyone else does, too. it's likely that every clone aboard has a hunch, at least, or has heard about someone else's. (kenobi is actually the least likely to know. clones keep some things strictly in-house, and old habits die hard.) "i am."

cody nods slowly. "treatable?"

"in a manner of speaking." helix sighs, shallow and careful. "but not at the moment. i'm managing."

"will you need to go back to coruscant for treatment?"

helix considers for a moment. it might not be a bad idea if cody knows the truth. he's trustworthy with secrets, and if helix does croak, someone ought to tell obi-wan why. "it's hanahaki."

cody's expression is sort of hilarious. "you -- what?"

"the love disease. i'm coughing up flowers. it'll kill me at some point, if, well. you know."

cody opens and closes his mouth, and apparently has to sit down, because he drops out of his upright parade rest and into a chair as though he's had a few strings cut. "what the kark," he finally says.

helix grins wryly at him. "yeah."

"that's... i didn't know anyone got off kamino with that. they all got caught as cadets."

"most did."

"but not you."

"not me."

cody just stares at him. "you're sick because you love someone and you haven't told them."

"that's the sum of it, yes."

"helix, that is the stupidest way a clone could possibly die."

helix is surprised into laughing, which threatens to send him into a coughing fit. he reaches for the inhaler, smiling, and rasps, "don't i fucking know it, cody."

(it will occur to helix later that he really should have ribbed cody about his thing for the general -- if cody had been coughing flowers, it might have saved them all years of watching him and kenobi sashay around each other like nubian flamingos.)

cody doesn't ask who it is, and helix doesn't volunteer the information. it's immaterial to the situation they're all about to be in, anyway.

cody does tell helix in no uncertain terms to get his shit together, though. he does not want him to die of this like some tongue-tied airhead shiny.

truthfully, that leaves helix feeling very cheerful indeed. after they've [redacted], he decides. he'll find mace somewhere and tell him. short and sweet.

[redacted shit happens]

helix glimpses mace twice, from a distance.

there's no time to talk to him.

and then there's even less time than before.

[redacted redacted]

he's choking before he can catch a full breath. choking, coughing fruitlessly, clutching his chest, his throat, staggering to his knees instinctively because he knows he's going to fall --

someone is shouting. several someones, nearby and far away. there are hands on him, frantic questions, a light in his eyes. so many dismayed expressions hovering over him, he wants to bark at them to quit gawking and do something before they catch flies.

he can't speak. blood slides down his throat, coats his lips. there's a flower caught at the root of his tongue, huge and strangling. he can't breathe. he can't breathe. he can't --

he wakes up.

it's slightly surprising, to be honest.

he knows he's in his own medbay before he's even fully conscious. the sounds, the smell, the feel of the place is sunk into his bones by now. he knows it. it's home.

helix gingerly swallows, curling his fingers slightly in the blanket. he's so sore inside. breathing hurts. his throat feels like it's been peeled raw. his chest is tight. the oxygen cannula in his nose is some relief, but he'd blackmail somebody for a lozenge or warm water with an analgesic dissolved in it right now.

"are you awake, helix?" someone murmurs from the bedside.

helix licks his lips, tasting the medbay chap gel there, and opens his eyes, blinking blearily until obi-wan's face swims into focus. "sir," he tries to say, and his voice is such a ruin, his throat flares with such pain, that he shuts up immediately.

"no, shh, don't try to talk," obi-wan says quietly. "you don't have to talk. just rest. i'm sure needle or stitch will be over in a minute, they've been watching over you very carefully."

helix absolutely believes that. his heart twists. they're such good boys. they deserve better than this bullshit. there's enough going on without them having to manage their cmo, too.

obi-wan eyes him a moment. "i didn't know you were sick," he offers quietly. "and no -- that isn't a criticism. you're entitled to your privacy. i'll go if you prefer that i am not here, but i wanted to watch over you while you slept, at least for a little while."

helix could cry, and he almost too tired to stop up the impulse. almost. he points wearily at an insulated cup on the bedside table. it's full of ice chips, he knows. kenobi can stay if he pays his way in ice chips.

obi-wan cottons on in an instant and immediately fetches the cup and a spoon. he feeds helix an ice chip without another word.

the trickle of cold water hurts. then it feels wonderful.

needle is the first to arrive over, and his smile is warm and sweet, though there's stress in the pinch at the corners of his eyes, and in the careful way he checks helix's vitals and monitors and the tuck of his pillows.

"you can read the chart if you want details," he tells helix softly. "but it was close." he pauses significantly, and helix glances at kenobi and then nods at needle, wordlessly giving him clearance to keep going. "we cleared your throat and suctioned your lungs as much as we could, but the... symptoms have advanced to the point that surgery is the next step. and no, we have no idea if that would help or make things worse."

helix sure as hell doesn't think surgically scraping the plants out will fix him. he shakes his head gently and sets a hand at needle's cheek, all gratitude and apology.

“that's what we thought you'd say." needle cups his hand over helix's, and he's still smiling, but it's even more painful now. "we're not sure how many more episodes like that you can survive, helix. and even if you... get the treatment, we don't know if the damage will reverse fully. no one's ever gotten to this stage, that we know of."

helix nods and eats another ice chip when it's offered. he's been thinking about that, too. whether his body will heal as magically as it's destroying itself, if he confesses to mace. nobody can know what to expect.

"needle," obi-wan interjects quietly, "is it... the treatment, is it a matter of cost? availability? i can make sure you have access to any help the temple can provide. anything we can do."

helix reaches for obi-wan's hand and squeezes it, and needle shakes his head. "sorry, sir. that's not the problem. there's nothing you can do."

obi-wan eyes him shrewdly, fingers curled securely around helix's. "but there's something that can be done. yes?"

"yes, sir."

"who do i need to make pleasant or unpleasant overtures at, in that case?"

helix huffs a silent laugh. their general is truly one of the finest the temple has on offer. /windu,/ he signs succinctly. /need windu./

obi-wan does not ask why he needs mace. he simply procures him.

needle is off duty and asleep, obi-wan is long gone, and stitch is helping helix sip some more lozenge-water when mace arrives, not three hours later.

he's such a welcome and painful sight, helix feels his chest constricting. he swallows his water carefully and lifts a hand in wan greeting. (truly, he thinks morosely, he has never felt more attractive a prospect than he does right now.)

"obi-wan told me you asked for me," mace tells him, coming to the bedside, his expression all concern. "i didn't hear you had collapsed until a short while ago. will you be all right?"

helix can't speak, still. there's no amount of painkillers that can mend his raw throat enough to let him talk. he gives the signs for /red band triage/, which isn't the clearest answer but it's as close as he can get with battle sign.

"red," mace interprets. "critical but salvageable, given immediate treatment." off stitch's and helix's confirmation, he looks between the two of them seriously. "how can i help? obi-wan seemed to think the treatment is something you can't access by yourselves, but he didn't know any details."

helix pats stitch's chest gently and flashes him a couple of signs. stitch nods -- he's not always great with reading the nuance of battle signs when they're used in other contexts, but these he can read easily enough.

"it's very private, sir," stitch explains, his voice pitched low, for their ears only. "a secret. no one knows. this condition is rare, and as far as we know, helix is the only one with the predisposition to have survived this long, and this is the latest stage of acuity anyone's ever seen."

mace absorbs that and gives helix a Look. "there's such a thing as striving to be singular in too many areas, you realize."

helix grins at him. he wants to touch him. he holds the impulse back.

"i'll let helix tell you himself how, exactly, the condition manifests, if he chooses to do that," stitch continues soberly. "but it's serious, and he will die if he doesn't take the necessary action in time." his expression twists. "there's not much time left, as far as we can tell."

"i see." mace presses a hand to helix's arm, warm and grounding. "what can i do to help?"

helix looks up at him. little gods, mace is so handsome, and his dark eyes are endlessly deep, unfathomably sincere. the constriction in helix's chest winds tighter, and he gulps in a breath, signs quickly to stitch.

"you can listen, sir," stitch replies softly. his palm rests lightly on helix's brow for a moment. "i'll be nearby if you need me." and then he's gone, stepping away and twitching the privacy screen closed behind him.

they're quiet with each other a moment. helix isn't sure how to begin this conversation, especially since he can't actually fucking say most of what he wants to. he hesitates, picks at the blanket.

"it's been a while since we were alone together," mace remarks easily. "i haven't talked with you in person for weeks." he arches a brow. "would i have noticed you were sick, i wonder."

helix considers. /maybe,/ he signs. he's been in obi-wan's presence a couple of times since this bout started, but not since it got bad, and anyway, obi-wan's been slightly busy, himself. if he didn't notice, it wasn't for lack of care. mace might have picked up on something, but there's no way to know, now.

"it seems to have gotten serious fairly quickly, in any case." mace tips his head, presses his lips together slightly, as he does when he's working through strong emotions. "stitch said you needed me to listen, helix. i am listening."

this is it. after everything, it feels almost anticlimactic. and yet -- it's unbearably dramatic, with helix lying on his near-literal deathbed and reduced to using gods-damned battle signs to confess his adoration.

(why me, he laments internally, and not for the first time in his existence.)

/insufficient signs,/ he begins. /rig on the fly./

"you don't have the signs to say what you want to, but you'll figure out how to get your meaning across," mace interprets aloud.

/you know s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g signs?/

"yes, i know the sign alphabet."

/copy./ helix swallows, his throat feeling more raw than ever, if that's even possible. /you and i. take cover together. trench battle. review footage./

mace takes in the sequence and nods slowly, somberly. "you showed incredible conviction and kindness, in suffering through that for obi-wan."

/you had injury. you k-i-n-d. no success without you./

mace quirks the faintest smile. "far be it from me to argue while you haven't got your sharp tongue available in full. it seems unfair."

helix hopes his expression conveys something like "damn straight." /i have an urgent report,/ he signs, and it's so stupid, but he thinks mace will catch his meaning.

"you have something important to say," mace guesses. "to say to me, specifically?"

helix nods. his tongue feels dry, despite all of the ice chips and stitch's water.

he lifts his hand and spells, slow and clear.

/i l-o-v-e y-o-u/

he sees it, the exact moment the meaning becomes clear.

mace's eyes don't go round, he's far too controlled for that, but there's an opening-up in his expression, a glimpse of utter surprise.

"you love me," he echoes, so very softly. "i didn't misunderstand?"

/l-o-v-e./ and, because why not, helix taps his own chest twice, directly over his heart, and points to mace.

and something in his chest twists. helix gasps thickly, claws at the neck of his scrubs and digs his heels against the mattress. terror spirals through him -- is it killing him anyway, was he too late, is mace going to watch him die -- ?

the alarms are shrieking. there are hands on his arms, on his chest, on his face. mace is here, warm and steady. stitch has reappeared and is just as steady, in his own way -- grim and fast and going through the steps, a dance they both know like --

well. shit. they know it like breathing, don't they?

"sit him up," stitch orders sharply. "in case he has to cough it up."

they slide their hands behind his back, hoist him half upright, half leaning into the support. helix doesn't quite feel like coughing. his chest feels -- strange. not necessarily bad. but strange.

he swallows and realizes with a start that his throat doesn't hurt. the weight on his chest is sliding free, like someone's released a vice around his ribs.

"helix," stitch says imploringly, "cough if you need to. i'm right here. i'll help you get it out."

helix tentatively sips at the air, disbelieving. there's no pain. no threatening tickle in his throat, no sandbags in his lungs. he's still tired, and his head is spinning, but -- but --

he shuts his eyes and sucks in a deep breath, the kind he hasn't been able to draw for weeks.

stitch's hand does not leave his back, but the familiar sounds of a scanner start up. "oh," he says, shocked at whatever he sees.

mace's hands are here, too. one at helix's back, the other secure around his arm. "what is it?"

helix breathes in again and again, biting the inside of his lip and mashing down the urge to cry with relief. he opens his eyes and looks at stitch. "i'm fine?" he asks aloud. his voice is a little thready still, but he thinks that's just reaction, not damage.

stitch nods, huge-eyed. "the scan indicates no abnormalities. no blockage, no foreign mass."

helix smiles at him. he takes his face in his hands and leans to press a kiss to his forehead. "scram for a minute, i want to talk to mace. get needle, will you?"

stitch scrams, nearly tripping over himself on his way out.

mace's expression is bemused but soft when helix turns to him. "sorry about all of this," helix tells him first, reflexively. "i didn't mean to let it go so long."

"i believe you." mace curls a hand around helix's, gently, questioningly. "i have never quite felt anything like that in the force before. are you all right, really?"

helix grins at him and squeezes his hand. "i'm better than i've been in a while, mace. the boys will run tests to be sure, but i feel like it's receded completely. and the damage got undone, but don't ask me how the hells that happened."

"that question is maybe sixth on my list," mace says dryly. "i would rather ask you if you meant to tell me what you did, just now."

an easy question, in a way. helix looks at him squarely. "yes. i meant it." he feels his smile turn crooked. "i love you. i have for months, i think."

mace does not take his hand from helix's. he looks like he's listening to something far away. it's a very jedi look. "i won't do you the disservice of pretending i don't know what kind of love you mean."

"i appreciate that."

without so much as a blink, mace is back with him, right here, close and sturdy. he lifts his other hand and cups helix's cheek. "you must know that i have thought very highly of you since the beginning." there's something in his voice, a note of softness helix hasn't heard from him before. "i have cared for you for nearly as long. we were in the trench together, as you said. a bond not easily forgotten, even if i were of a mind to."

helix nods wordlessly. he realizes he's holding his breath and makes himself inhale. he doesn't know what answer to expect from mace, but whatever it is, it'll be kind. mace is kind.

mercifully, mace is also straightforward. "i think that, given room to grow, my regard for you will become love." he smiles, more a warm cast in his eyes than a curve of lips. "quickly."

helix covers his hand where it's fitted to his cheek. "what kind of fertilizer do you need?" he asks, a chuckle threatening for more than one reason.

END

#my writing #shoulder the sky #hanahaki #windix #mace windu #helix the clone medic #shootingstarpilot #fanfiction #the clone wars

[thepunkmuppet]

so i have been writing my ideal version of season 14 in my head laying awake at night for weeks now and someone else needs to hear about it before i go insane. so.

concepts that would make miss ruby sunday ✨interesting and spicy✨ without going against the evidence we already have:

she is from the near future (2046 possibly?? i heard that year floating around in relation to robert ap gwillam)

she is from the further future, potentially WAY further, but was sent back in time by weeping angels hence her seemingly modern clothing. also this makes way for a weeping angels episode. you’re welcome.

she either has splinters like clara or there is a spatial genetic multiplicity thing going on (like with gwen cooper and gwyneth), and she exists in multiple time periods (eg, 60s and regency like we have seen in promo photos)

she is some kind of creation of jinkx monsoon’s character or “the duchess”. we don’t know anything about these characters but they are described as “the doctors most powerful enemy yet” and “beware the duchess”. i think creating a companion would be a pretty cool thing for a villain to do (and would probably end in utter tragedy, in the interest of fucking the doctor up, which is always fun)

she is a zygon, other alien or even a time lord who thinks she is human living on earth. i have thought about this and it’s my absolute favourite. there is potential for a queer / outsider allegory which is always great (i don’t belong here, i feel like i’m hiding, etc). she can still be from the modern era, but would have a unique perspective and presence on the show due to actually not being from earth. if a zygon, she would be able to shapeshift, a helpful and never-before-seen skill to have on adventures with loads of fun possibilities. and it would just make the whoniverse feel interconnected, not just retconning important world events with “time can be rewritten” but actually acknowledging that yeah, there are zygons living on earth! remember that? now that ive thought about it, i really want this option…

she is actually from the 1960s or the regency era, and we are seeing it out of sync and/or assuming based on promo stuff that her modern clothing is her everyday clothing and the historical stuff is just for funsies. i would love a 60s companion because a character from the time of the shows creation next to a black doctor?? what a fucking boss move it would be so awesome

she is mia tyler. im adding this because it’s popular, but people are really grasping at straws here in my opinion and i just… don’t like this idea? if mia tyler ever appears i want them to make it damn well clear, at least with foreshadowing and stuff. i’m going into season 14 wanting new and fresh and original. not supernatural nostalgia-bait soap opera shit. “I’M YOUR DAUGHTER FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE” gimme a break i don’t like this one

she’s a unit or torchwood agent. this could actually be real! i like this one it’s fun, we know there’s gonna be a unit episode including kate stewart, why not have her be involved? love me a badass spy lady, plus it could open up martha jones and spin-off opportunities so….

she’s a secret villain. very broad and vague i know, but it’s never happened before and the shock horror twist of it all would just be so awesome, especially because millie has a background in soap operas lmao

her timeline is funky in some way. maybe she’s like river song, maybe she’s like clara, maybe she’s stuck in a time loop or is from an alternate universe or there’s something very wrong about the events of her life that means timey wimey stuff ensues

she’s a time lord / gallifreyan and possibly a relative of the doctor. possibly linked to susan in some way, or an otherwise relative of the doctor’s. a secret sibling (again, millie gibson’s soap opera background!!), his child / susan’s parent, someone linked to the doctors daughter jenny, etc etc

she’s a time agent. the idea of time agents is really cool but woefully unexplored, we only ever meet jack and john and sure you can’t beat the wives but i want to see the full potential of them, there’s so much you could do

if you can think of any more, please do share in tags and comments i wanna know other ways i can get my hopes up way too high!! :))

#doctor who #dr who #dw #new who #nuwho #millie gibson #ruby sunday #rtd2 #ncuti gatwa #14th doctor #15th doctor #fifteenth doctor

[ncteez]

omg I agree that svt losing their virginity would be such a good concept because so many of them could make that kinda cute and flustered but also……desperate and kinda pathetic theme work so well.

like you already did vernon and hoshi but also chan, dokyeom, jun, mingyu, EVEN WONWOO would fit this theme so well. but tbh your writing is so good that I think you could make it work for any member😭

just can’t wait to see what you come up with in the future!!! <3

fr fr, specifically chan, wonwoo, and shockingly, seokmin would be really fucking fun to write as a virgin and/or as a super inexperienced person (like i did for vernon)

ideas below:

disclaimer: pls do not write any of these ideas, im genuinely thinking them up out loud and may end up writing them myself.

like there are so many reasons a person wouldn't have had sex in their 20s. I don't think anything will ever beat hoshi in Charity fuck tho, with the bartering his virginity off on a dating app.

I do like the idea of Wonwoo being a homebody and just never caring enough to have sex til he meets you, a friend he's been playing an MMORPG with for like 4 years. then he finds out after all those years that you've been a GIRL this whole time?!?!and omfg ur hot too and omg???? OMG??? ur gonna be near his city for the summer?? AND HE'S A VIRGIN STILL?

or like, with chan, bro had a girlfriend who only believed in having sex after marriage (that he was with since highschool). He's now in college states away and freshly single bc bitch went off and got laid by some other guy despite her own morals that she "insisted" she had. He goes on a sexual rampage, wanting so badly to get laid, entirely heart broken, and gets heeeellllaaa attached to you, the girl who already fucked like 4 of his friends for funsies. the issue is: he doesn't know how to talk to girls, he only knows how to talk to his ex gf.

Seokmin. Virgin. He's touched a boob once but it was by accident when trying to push through a crowd. He just studied too hard in college, avoided frat parties, club nights, drinking. But now he's graduated and uh oh, it's party time for him now. it's fucky spicey fuck fuck time now, watch out ladies here comes smart boy who accidentally fucks like a demonic entity. 10/10 would be SO EAGER AND READY to miss the hole three times. would also accidentally dom you bc he feels too good.

anyway

#[mail] #anon #[m]

[fawnarchive]

you SHOULD post about your f/o AUs itd be so funsies i am beggining u to tell us abt it!!

LJFALKJL HI MIKA!!! SORRY THIS TOOK A BIT Admittedly I have SO many but I think starting with my genshin au is a real good start!

while it needs a general reworking, the concept is that I'm a denizen of the abyss! I'm not part of the order or anything- snuck out too early, but it means i kind of use the abyss to travel tevyat, making me land in random parts of it to. very mixed results. (im out here strugglin!!!!!!!) a lot of where it gets interesting is the cataclysm. i had actually been in living in khaenri'ah and put my hand in at stopping it (did not work! imagine that one picture of venom dunking on spiderman. it was like that) and get sealed (this is kinda hard to explain but its like a physical seal that weakens and changes the body) for a few hundred years. i wake up maybe one or 2(?) years before the actual plot begins and end up living in mond for a while. (with diluc!!! hence the familial bond going on) after the course of the mond quest i just sort of. follow traveler and meet a lot of old and new faces! i may or may not be kissing some i dont know its really anyones guess (shoves the f/o list away) theres a lot of sub AUs of this where other f/os from other medias are added because i think that's so funny. like yeah throw that girl from medieval times into genshin im sure that's going to end well. (additionally!! there is some concepts of a bond with the adepti.. but i havent decided if thats canon! guizhong and i were friends though because i said so!!!!!!!!!)

#fawns AUs #letters #from: mika! #mika! ☁️ #THIS IS PROBABLY ALL OVER THE PLACE SORRY I GOT EXCITED JDSHFKSAH #did i get carried away? maybe #but we are free!!!!!!!!! #ill reblog this with art once i make some!! #i also have an hsr one!! but i REALLY wanna design that s/i first.. trust ill return to show it to you!! #i looked over this like 10 times if you see mistakes just pretend they were on purpose and add to my whimsy