#it is not her fault you have not been listening to anything she says lol

[midsummerknife]

.

#idk taylor said fuck this and fuck all of you i am disappearing #and then came back from disappearance to day fuck this there’s too much noise this is too loud i want happiness without anyone else’s input #and has since socially withdrawn herself more and more through the past few years #and less than a month ago directed a lot of honest Not So Pretty lyrics at her own fans in midnights #and people suddenly feel like she changed her relationship with us overnight because of how much of a disaster this tour is already. #it is not her fault you have not been listening to anything she says lol #since her pre-reputation disappearance #she is literally so tired of Us. yes she loves us but she is TIRED #okbye

[desperate-gay]

omg the mearps stress reliever idea pls. I need it.

Where mary comes home, does what she wants (strap?) if you even write that. And then takes a shower, leaving reader alone. she gets the idea that mary ends up feeling a little bit guilty and reader tries to tell mary that she just wants to be there for her in any way. Angst if you squint but then it ends in fluff ❤️❤️❤️

Sorry if that's hard to understand lol. NEED A LONG FIC FOR HER BAD.

Stress Toy

Mary Earps x fem!reader

SMUT 18+

“Mary, fuck!”

The feeling of her hands gripping your waist, moving you forward and backward to meet each one of her thrusts, causing the toy to lodge deeper into you. Her pace is relentless, not once showing the hint of even slowing down.

You know she needs this. The game has left everyone on edge, specifically Mary since she thinks she’s at fault when the truth is, it’s no one’s fault. There may have been a few mistakes here and there but it’s a team game, you can just blame one person, and you’ve tried to tell Mary that but she won’t listen.

When you noticed her silent behavior, you knew she was no longer sad but now angry. Why couldn’t she just have controlled the ball? How come she’s the one who has to deal with the strikers? So many questions ran through her head only fuming her anger.

Being the good girlfriend you are, you tried cheering her up by making her favorite dish, cleaning up the house, and basically offering anything that could make her feel better.

And that’s how you’re here. Ass bright red from the consistent slaps across it, hands gripping the white sheets, head pushed into your pillows, your whole body rocking with every thrust. You’re extremely overstimulated from the multiple orgasms you have already received but you want to please Mary, make her feel better. Mary places her hand on the small of your back and pushes, making your back arch further and your ass lift more into the air.

“God you’re such a slut, being my little toy. You were so quick to help me, weren’t ya?” She grits through her teeth, breathing heavily from each slam of her hips

“Y-yes, anything for you, baby.” You squeak when the toy hits a new spot, allowing a knot to form in your stomach once again.

From the increasing volume of your moans, she knows you’re close. Her hand reaches down and rubs tight circles around your clit, causing your body to jerk away from the slight sting of her touch. Your legs shake uncontrollably on the bed as you feel your release coming soon.

“I’m gonna- oh god, I’m gonna cum!” Your voice is muffled by the pillows, the sounds from your mouth blare throughout the apartment.

“C’mon, give me another one.” She says, lifting one foot onto the bed, flexing her thigh muscles as she pounds deeper into you from the new position.

Your orgasm crashed over you as tears run down your face from the overstimulation. Mary switches from her thrusts to a grind, slowing it down but not stopping. Knowing what she was planning, you flipped your body over and placed a hand on her chest, halting her movements.

“Mary, I can’t do any more, It’s too much.”

The girl huffs, getting off the bed while unclipping the strap off of her before making her way over to the bathroom, slamming the door shut. You remain on the bed, shocked by the still angry woman who just left you alone. You can hear the shower running and the sound of water wringing out from her hair.

Not really being able to move, you just lift the sheet over your body so you feel less exposed. Even if you’re in your own house, you feel a little dirty at the moment and you’re not sure why. You told the girl she could do whatever she wanted to you so why all of a sudden do you feel this way?

Maybe it’s because you were hoping after using you as a stress reliever, she’d be somewhat back to herself again. The sweet, funny, cuddly Mary. You can just be overreacting but you’re scared she’s mad that you stopped her and maybe you didn’t fulfill her needs enough.

Your thoughts pause at the sound of the bathroom door opening, a frowning Mary coming out with wet hair and a hoodie with sweatpants on. You don’t notice the wet rag in her hands until she removes the sheet off of you and cleans up the mess between your legs.

“I’m sorry for being a jerk.” She mumbles softly, placing kisses wherever she can.

“You weren’t a jerk, baby.” You reassure her with a sweet smile, tucking in a wet piece of her hair behind her ear.

Mary looks back up at you with the same frown. “I gave you no breaks and when you said you’ve had enough, I left you here. I didn’t even take care of you!”

The shame in her eyes is apparent, her lips beginning to wobble from the built-up emotions and the guilt. You pull her clothed body on your naked one, rubbing your hand up and down the center of her back.

“Sure you could have handled things better a few minutes ago, but you’re here now, taking care of me and apologizing profusely.” You assure while pecking her cheek multiple times along with her temple.

“I’m still sorry.”

“I know, baby. I forgive you. Now why don’t we put on a movie, cuddle, and just relax? Maybe you can take off your clothes and we can be more skin-to-skin?” You say, your intentions being completely innocent, knowing that with this type of cuddling you can feel even closer.

Mary doesn’t put up much of a fight, slinging her clothes across the room and placing her head on your chest while her arms wrap around your waist. Usually, it’s the other way around but she definitely needs this today.

From the movie playing in the background to your fingers threading through her hair, Mary’s eyes are closed and her breathing is evened out, knocked into a peaceful sleep, you following not too far after. There may be some tough days in life but it can always be better if you just try.

#mary earps x reader #mary earps smut #mary earps #woso x reader #woso smut #woso fic #woso imagine #woso #england #lionesses

[teaboot]

Hi! (just a personal ask. Sorry if it's not okay to ask for advice out of nowhere but I wanted to see an outer perspective and didn't wanna ask my friends. No pressure to answer of course but I would love to hear your thoughts!)

Is it normal for me to feel overwhelmed about something I want? I am just starting med school and it's a lot but I am fighting. And in my culture, parents buy their daughters their like things?? (like towels and bed sheets and a fridge. Anything they can buy except the apartment basically) for marriage from a young age. But my mom just started recently. And when she first bought me something. The idea of getting married & being a doctor (both things I want) felt like too much I teared up. My mom said I was being spoilers I guess?? Like I was ruining a good moment? Of course it is not that serious since I wasn't outright crying, and I just laughed afterwards as I felt silly lol ,but It got me thinking if I was being that dramatic.

This honestly felt like the moment in the movie where the mom hugs her daughter and says something like "oh how much you've grown" . Her retort felt like it was out of the script.

If you find time to answer, please be extremely blunt. Because I know for a fact I have a tendency to exaggerate things.

You are not overreacting. You are not exagerrating things. And I'm going to tell you this, because I experience this, the tendency to downplay your own feelings and recollections of events very often comes from having other people do it to you first. People tell you your feelings are wrong, or stupid, or irrational, and you learn to listen to them instead of yourself.

It makes complete sense that coming up on a major cultural milestone would make you feel excited, or scared, or overwhelmed. It sounds like you came upon the first step of a very big change and the reality of it all hit you at once, which sounds completely normal and expected!

Fuck, *I* used to get that about moving houses, and YOU'RE expecting shit like marriage? Holy fuck! I'd be a complete mess! The fact that you're level-headed enough to ask questions and process your feelings and talk things through is impressive, because I think I'd be losing my mind.

Personal story, but when I turned 17, my mom asked me if I wanted to go to a restaurant to celebrate. When I told her that it sounded nice, but I'd rather have dinner at home with the family, she told me I was a selfish narcissist, and that I was so busy thinking of myself that I didn't consider that other people might have been excited to go out.

At the time, I thought she'd been harsh but ultimately correct.

Now, I see that she had decided what kind of perfect evening she had wanted, and had expected me to play the part in the movie she had written herself. It had never been about what I wanted at all- it had been about her personal desires and expectations.

And it's normal to feel frustrated about things that don't go the way we want or expect, but lashing out at others is not an appropriate way to handle those emotions.

The way we feel cannot be controlled like a machine. The way we feel is usually not a problem. The problem is what we do, and the choices we make based on those feelings.

Children throw tantrums and sat mean things because they haven't learned better yet. They don't have the practice or experience. Adults like your mother and mine should have that on lock, but often don't, especially if culture or tradition or social expectations tell them their actions are justified.

If I had to take take guess, I'd say it sounds like your mom gave you this gift with an idea in mind of how she wanted you to react. She probably wanted you to be grateful and praising and sweet, so she could fulfill the role she envisioned for herself, and when you deviated from that picture, she was disappointed. From that perspective, it would seem that she felt slighted, and that she was owed your gratitude, and you were at fault for withholding it.

This perspective makes sense, in an emotionally immature sort of way, but would completely overlook your feelings, which are just as important.

Your exact situation is not one I've been in before, but if I'm correct in my assumptions (which I may not be) then I'd suggest keeping an eye out for other instances of your perspective and feelings being minimized.

Are you often told you are behaving irrationally? That you're over-emotional? That you're self-centered or greedy or entitled? Are you told that you don't remember things or do things as you're told? That you see problems where there aren't any? That you male trouble where there is none? That certain conversations aren't worth having, or that "you're always like this"?

It sounds like you know that something is off. I'd encourage you to keep asking questions and follow your instincts. At the end of the day, your life is your own, no matter where it came from.

#Teaboot advice #Good luck

[cryonme]

𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐀𝐭 𝐔𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏

—graham dunne x fem!reader

—summary: the story of you and graham dunne was never simple, but his love for you never faltered.

— word count: 2.7k

—tw: addiction, implied drugging, alcohol, cursing, reader says she "doesn't wanna be here anymore", very obvious signs of mental illness, the works...

—a/n: so... I did not intend for this fic to be this long or this sad, but here we are. I'm breaking it into two parts so its easier to read, part two is coming shortly!! I apologize for how sad this is lol but I promise its a happy ending story! also, sorry for how I wrote daisy! she's my girl and I love her, it was just for the plot I swear! this is the first fic I've posted in about 6 months so im rusty, please be kind! and please, don't read if anything listed in the triggers is going to upset you, I want you all happy and comfortable! XO

(flashbacks in italics)

Nothing was ever Daisy’s fault, was it?

At least, that’s what Graham Dunne thought when he got a call from Karen saying his girl was wasted at a party with Daisy attached to your hip.

She should have known what you were struggling with, she should have known that you couldn’t handle a party, she should have known this wasn’t what you needed. Daisy Jones should’ve fucking known.

To be completely fair, they really all should’ve known. You’d been around since day 1. Everyone knew better, Daisy just happened to be the red corvette.

-

“You can’t keep doing this, my love.” Camilla whispered oh so gently, holding your hair back from your face, pressing a cold rag to your neck.

It was a small gig, at some shitty bar called Tony’s in Pittsburgh. The band always had a couple beers and maybe a shot or two before a show but you had begun to need more. You snuck vodka into your water bottles and begged the bartenders to sneak you a couple free extras by pulling your top down and leaning over the bar, using your forearms to push your tits up. 

It worked every time. Pigs.

“Can do whatever I want.” You slurred, cheek pressed to the toilet seat.

But damnit, you knew she was right.

Tony’s wasn’t the first time.

There was Rod’s, and The Ladie’s Room, and The Shiner Saloon, and some girl named Lisa’s 18th birthday party. It was becoming a pattern, everyone could tell.

You always went back to your house after a show. Your parents had been completely absent since you were 15, you never knew where they were. And after every show, their cars were never once in the driveway.

A safespace.

Billy would sit outside of the bathroom, head leaning against the door while Graham waited in the living room, arms crossed and head down, not wanting to listen to your cries and shakes of pain.

Eddie would retreat to the guest room, but he usually wouldn’t be able to fall asleep til he heard the click of your door next to his.

Warren would be passed out on the couch as soon as you all walked through the door, not that he didn’t care about you immensely, but the poor kid could just not stay awake if he was tired.

“I wanna go to bed.” You said.

Camilla sighed, “Are you sure you’re ready?”

You nodded and so did Camilla. She got up to get Billy like she always did, and he’d come and pick you up off of the bathroom floor, as he always did, and carry you to your room and lay you on the bed, letting Camilla make sure you’re comfortable, like she always did.

Graham would come in and ask how you’re doing, like he always did, and he’d make himself comfortable on your floor with throw pillows and spare blankets, like he always did.

But that night, after Tony’s, things changed.

“I can’t do this anymore, Graham.” You whimpered.

Fuck.

This was early days, Graham was still awkward as hell and didn’t know how to go about things like this.

“Do what?” He croaked, mustering up the courage to be there for you.

“This. I can’t live like this. I’m afraid I’m gonna kill myself.”

Graham was up in an instant, reaching for the doorknob. “Do you want me to get Camilla?”

You shook your head, “No, please. Just-” You wiped a tear from your cheek, “Will you just lay with me?”

“Anything.” Graham breathed as he settled into bed next to you. You immediately wrapped your arms around him, being too drunk to care about any awkwardness and Graham was thankful.

“We’ll get you out of this, promise.”

-

That was the last time anybody saw you drink anything besides a beer or two, following that was shirley temples and cherry cokes.

Nobody really knew the heaviness of addiction then, but they knew that you were happier, and that’s all that really mattered to them. You were even laughing at Warren’s jokes and Billy and Eddie’s lame bickering, everything felt okay.

“You don’t drink?” Karen had asked, the first time you properly met in California, while she was digging through the fridge searching for a beer. You shook your head, hoping you weren’t going to get some crazy reaction like you were a zoo animal in a cage like you got from most people.

She just nodded, a small smile playing at her lips as she pulled two coca cola bottles from the fridge, popping them open with her ring and handing you one.

“Cheers to that.”

You were sober enough to realize you were in love with Graham, and confident enough to tell him. And man, he could’ve exploded.

There was a celebration, at the house in Laurel Canyon, just the 7 of you.

Warren recalls later that Graham looked like he’d been dipped in sunshine and rainbows.

“Like he’d just smoked sunshine and been fucked by a rainbow. It was crazy, man.”

Well, almost.

You’d been around the band multiple times while they drank and it was never a problem. You’d have the first round of beers with them then tap out, but you always stayed and had fun, smoked a couple joints and cigarettes, never without a mocktail or coca cola in your hand. Sometimes, usually Karen or Camilla, someone would join you on the sober night, and that always felt really nice.

That night had felt different, you were scared.

-

“I’m gonna fuck him up Warren…” You said as you laid on the floor with the drummer as Down By The Seaside by Led Zeppelin played from the record player, Warren laughed.

“Yeah you are.” He said, his tone suggestive as he bumped his elbow with yours.

You rolled your eyes, fighting the heat creeping into your cheeks. “You know what I mean, man. I’m gonna ruin him.”

Warren had known you long enough and listened to enough of the songs you wrote to where he’d like to think he knew you pretty well.

And you never opened up out of the blue unless you were drunk.

“Have you been drinking?” He asked, not looking up from the ceiling. You scoffed.

“I still have a beer here and there, Warren.”

“You know what I mean, man.” He repeated your words back to you and you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“I’m going to bed.” You said and stood up, trying your hardest not to stumble or slur.

“Honey…” Warren started, pushing himself off of the floor to try to stop you.

“NO!” You whipped around, flipping your hair so forcefully it stung your face but you were quick to pull it back.

“Don’t fucking- don’t fucking do that, man!” You started, holding a hand up. “My own friends don’t even fucking trust me i’m just constantly babied! Do you know how that feels?”

At that point, Karen, Eddie and Billy had tuned in, being in the kitchen. Camilla and Graham must have been elsewhere, he had always confided in her like a sister.

“Hey–” Billy tried to interject with a hand on your wrist but you were quick to pull away.

“Huh?! Do any of you know how that feels?!” You were borderline screaming now, and everyone was speaking to you so softly, hands slowly trying to grasp you and it made you want to scream even louder.

“How dare you ‘ccuse me of something like that asshole?” You were beginning to slur your words, the tequila you’d snuck from Warren’s room starting to hit pretty heavily, making your eyes droop and words slur.

“Baby, please-” Karen started, making the move to grasp your arm but you turned and lost your balance, nearly falling but Eddie was quick to catch you, he held on tight and didn’t dare let go until you calmed down or Graham came back. Billy had left minutes ago to find him and Camilla, who had taken a walk so he could freely gush about his new girl without the chances of anyone else hearing.

“Need you to calm down, babe.” Eddie whispered, running a hand up and down your arm for comfort.

“None of you even care!”

Warren shook his head alongside Karen, both of them had squatted in front of you, doing their best to provide what you needed.

“That’s not true.”

“I fucking hate you all!” 

“You don’t mean that.”

“I don’t wanna be here anymore!”

And then he said your name.

You froze.

He was gonna leave you, you were so sure of it. You worked so hard to be better for him and it didn’t work.

“No…” You whimpered and you swore you saw Graham break in front of your eyes.

“You can’t- you can’t see this.”

But he didn’t care. He knelt in front of you and Eddie and gathered you into his own arms, completely silent as he carried you to his room and you wanted to disappear into him so badly.

“‘M so sorry…” You slurred, and still he was quiet. You let him undress you and replace your pretty top and flared jeans with his own tee shirt and boxer shorts.

You watched as he changed into a similar outfit as you picked at your nails. “Graham, I-”

He sighed and placed his hands on either sides of your cheeks, placing a firm kiss on your forehead that only made you cry harder. You brought your hands up to grip his wrists, not willing to let go of the feeling of his lips on your skin.

“I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I?”

Graham was silent again as he pulled you into his bed with him, covering you both with the large duvet.

“Not in the slightest.”

-

That night was really the last night anybody had seen you get drunk like that.

Then, Daisy Jones came along.

And you learned how to keep bad habits a secret.

Tequila and mints in the bathroom, water and cherry cokes with the band. A shot of jameson to fall asleep. Champagne to wake up, brush your teeth. A beer in the shower after lunch, leave the evidence in Warren’s room since there were hundreds of empty ones anyway.

It’s not like Daisy was teaching you one on one, you just started watching her, and you liked the way she got away with it.

No one told Daisy about your issue either, you could hold your own and you had asked them not to, so lips were sealed.

But it took everything in Graham and Billy not to tell her to tread lightly every time they saw the two of you sneak off on your own.

And now here was Graham Dunne, sitting in the driver's seat of the van outside of God knows who’s house, with Camilla in the passenger’s seat and Billy in the back. Moral support. 

“Want us to come with you?”

Graham shook his head. “I need to do this alone.”

Billy scoffed, “I’m not gonna let you go in there with our two hot headed alcoholic rage sisters. Cam, you stay here.”

“Nope, you go I go. You two get our girl, I’ll handle Daisy.”

The three bickered a moment but finally settled on their plan. Graham and Camilla would take you, while Karen and Billy took Daisy, since the blonde girl drove.

“Fucking finally.” Karen exasperated as she saw her friends walk into the backyard of the party while trying her hardest to hold you upright.

“Where is Daisy?” Billy spat immediately, making eyes around the party. You had always been like a sister to him, in the way Camilla was to Graham, and he could’ve killed the redheaded girl in that moment.

“Beats me.” Karen said, passing off your deadweight into Graham, who was quickly supported by Billy. Your head lulled onto your boyfriend's shoulder, recognizing him as a source of comfort even in your inebriated state.

It made his soul ache.

“Is Simone here?” Camilla asked.

Karen shook her head, “Was. Split as soon as she and Daisy got into a fight. Offered to take this one” she nodded her head at you “home with her but I figured it’d be best if you guys came.”

Graham shook his head, “You made the right call, thank you.”

“Yeah, well uh, I sure as hell can’t drive. Got drunk as hell before even stepping foot in the backyard, soon as I saw (Y/n) I stepped in and called you guys immediately.”

“Do we need to get Daisy?”

“That’s a fight you sure as hell don’t wanna have. Yelled at me just for taking ‘her best friend’ away from her to get her some water.”

Billy rolled his eyes.

Graham and Billy began making their way out of the party with you slung around their shoulders, and Camilla walking arm in arm with a very drunk Karen who kept tripping over feet.

And suddenly red hair and sparkling eyes were in front of them.

“Ohhh no, what happened to my girl?” She tried to touch your face but Billy pulled you away, ready to say something before Graham spoke up, surprising everyone.

“Your girl, Daisy?!” His voice boomed, no doubt you’d be embarrassed if you were in any way conscious. “This is my girl, our girl.” He gestured to the rest of the group. “And I’d say it’s in your best interest to leave her the hell alone from now on.”

-

Graham was a mess when he got you home.

Daisy ended up at the house not too long after the rest, explaining she didn’t know the situation, apologizing profusely, informing them all you had been drinking for months. She told them in a sullen voice that you hadn’t been this bad last time she saw her, that she thinks someone must have done it to you.

Graham understood, he did. But he couldn’t look at Daisy. How could she let you out of her sight, to allow someone to do this to you? It made his stomach turn. Billy was next to his brother this time, in the living room, a hand resting on his shoulder, squeezing from time to time, and instead of standing Graham sat with his head in his hands, creating knots in his hair as he ran his fingers through it. Cam and Karen had you in the bathroom, after seeing the panic in Graham’s eyes they decided to take over that part, knowing it wouldn’t be easy for him to see. Warren stayed up, and Eddie didn’t retreat to his room, Daisy paced back and forth outside of the bathroom, biting her nails. Graham could hear it, it was driving him nuts.

“Would it kill you to be quiet for two seconds, Daisy?!” He groaned, running a hand over his red splotchy face.

Everyone knew that Graham was just upset and taking it out on Daisy, the red corvette, which wasn’t exactly fair, but they also knew better than to argue with Graham at that point.

“You know what, Graham?!” Daisy stomped into the living room, planting herself in front of the Dunne brothers with her arms crossed.

Graham didn’t look up.

“Hey, I’m talkin’ to you!” Daisy used her thumb and pointer finger to grip his chin and pull his face up to look at her and she immediately felt guilty at his tear stained cheeks and glassy eyes.

She sighed, and crouched before him.

“I know it’s hard, and I’m so, so sorry this is happening to her. But she makes her own decisions, Graham. No one could’ve stopped her.”

Graham nodded, but still wouldn’t look in her direction. “Will you go check on her, please?”

Daisy would later tell the story with a frown on her face, and she’d recall never being that scared for another person before, despite the smile she put on for Graham.

“I didn’t-” She took a breath, “I’d never seen it that bad before, at least not while I was sober. I thought she was going to die.”

Daisy retreated to yours and Graham’s shared room shortly after discovering she couldn’t stomach staying in that bathroom, deciding to make herself useful by getting the bed ready, fluffing the pillows and retrieving some fresh clothes for you to wear to bed, making sure she grabbed ones that smelled like your boyfriend. She dropped the clothes off in the bathroom, and passed along the message to Graham from Karen and Camilla that it was time to take you to bed.

This had been Billy’s job, since before The Six was even The Six, that’s how it went. But things had changed, Graham had grown, and it was his turn.

part two coming soon!

#graham dunne x reader #graham dunne imagine #graham dunne #daisy jones and the six #daisy jones and the six fanfic #warren rojas #eddie roundtree #billy dunne #daisy jones #karen sirko #karen karen #warren rojas x reader #eddie roundtree x reader #billy dunne x reader #simone jackson

[wilcze-kudly]

Ok @i-put-the-ass-into-sass and @justlikedsstuff the floodgates are open.

Imagining all the Beifongs, not just Toph having extremely sensitive seismic sense.

Just i imagine it's a very strong experience, strong enough to literally replace a sense. I imagine that it can be incredibly overwhelming for people who use it alongside other senses, eg. not replacing a sense like in Toph's case. I also imagine that the younger you learn it, the bigger difficulty you have 'turning it off'.

I like to imagine it can cause migraines and overstimulation in frequent users. But being unable to use it can cause anxiety and distress, as losing any other sense would.

Lin and Su knowing when their mother is lying about coming back home before dinner.

Su listening to her mother and sister's heartbeats and wishing that they'd just speak what was on their hearts.

Lin hearing Tenzin's heart speading up when he would look at Pema and not her. Lin having difficulty walking and keeping herself balanced after losing her bending to Amon, feeling literally blinded. Trying to keep it together in front of Amon and the Equalists but having a panic attack the moment she's alone because she can't feel anything, she can't feel anything, she can't feel anything

Su being hesitant to teach Huan and the twins seismic sense, because she knows how difficult it is for children to handle. But of course, they're stubborn little things and they start learning by themselves.

Its a very rare ability, but it comes surprisingly easy to the Beifongs. Though the cost is thay children are made to deal with senses sharper than their little minds are meant for.

I always headcanon that Huan has a particularly well developed seismic sense, which is the reason he's so testy and emotional. He can feel almost everything around the house (think dolores from encanto lol) and he has difficulty processing the overwhelming amount of stimuli. He tries to express it through art and he wears thick soled shoes to block it all out.

The twins are quite the opposite. They lean into it, so much so that they refused to wear shoes when they were younger. They were also heavily affected by being suspended in a wooden cage after the family's capture. To this day they feel incredibly anxious if seperated from it for too long.

Thinking about Opal and Baatar Jr not getting the sheer magnitude of feeling everything around you like that and thinking that their siblings are just being dramatic.

Thinking about the Beifongs pulling up their feet or trying to touch the ground as little as possible when stressed or overwhelmed. Or walking barefoot if upset or unsure, to get that connection.

Thinking sbout sensing heartbeats. Hearing the moment something or someone dies for the first time. Is it an animal, a random baby bird killed by an alley cat, a beloved pet? Or is it a person?

Lin killing a criminal in the line of duty. It wasn't her fault, technically. She did everything right, she defended the civilians he was holding hostage. But she tried to block the bleeding, hearing his heatbeat get slower and slower, until it stopped completely. How empty her head must've seemed when she could no longer hear it. How visceral the guilt must've been.

Arguments must be difficult. You can feel when you hit a nerve, sense the other person's anger, tell when they go completely cold towards you.

You can never lie, not to your family. No little white lies that make day to day life easier. No secrets. All blunt honesty and beating hearts filling your ears.

You immediately know when you've said something wrong. When you've hurt someone's feelings. The guilt is instantaneous. The slight skip of someone's heartbeat is like a slap to the face.

You know when someone's lying to you. You know they're lying when they say they'll be back for dinner. You know they're lying when they tell you they'll hang out with you tomorrow. You know they're lying when they say that they love you.

Do you call them out?

Or do you keep the peace, grin and bear it?

Can you even lie to yourself, or will your own heart betray you to yourself?

You know when a sibling is crying down the hall, know that they will be witness to every intimate moment you have, as the you will be to them.

Like there's so much to do with seismic sense. I want it to be less of a gimmick and more of a deep psychological experience. Like it is in all its essence a sense. It's probably a big part of its users lives.

#wow would you look at that its torture the beifongs o clock again #as usual more to say but too tired to write it all out #toph #lin beifong #suyin beifong #su beifong #baatar #baatar jr #huan beifong #opal beifong #wing & wei #wing beifong #wei beifong #legend of korra #tlok #the legend of korra #avatar #avatar the legend of korra #atlok #the beifong family #beifong #the beifongs #beifongs

[bitacrytic]

Of course she must stand there and listen.

After he tried to break up with her instead of telling her the truth.

This man, who is very aware of her insecurities, sat there and didn't share his own story. Heard all the disgusting things she went through and didn't think, "hmmm, maybe I should air out my own closet."

She had to force herself into his apartment to be there for him. And even then, she only got a tiny morsel of information BECAUSE HE WAS DELIRIOUS AND THOUGHT HE WAS DREAMING.

Yeah, it's her fault for forgetting that he's human and placing him on a pedestal. But he did this, too. He had months? Weeks? Days? To tell her about his own history. Whether or not it was something to be fixed.

I could have understood his reluctance when they weren't in a relationship. At that time, what was important was her happiness and he focused on that. Good. No problem. But the moment they got together, how did it not occur to him to bring it up?

"Ummm... honey, you know how my gramps is wary of you? Yeah, it's because there's a woman that's been crafted from childhood to be my wife. Lol."

It's not as simple as that, but it is a conversation worth having, given that he knows the intimately disgusting parts of her own history.

He lied to her. He pretended he didn't have anything to worry about. (I won't even talk about how he didn't mention his concerns about dying in ten years to see if it was something they could fix TOGETHER!!! You know? The way they fixed her own problems???)

When we see a woman who was killed by her husband after she found out he was having an affair with her bestfriend, how does it still confuse us that such a woman would want to remove herself from the possibility of this knight-in-shining-amour being another devil?

After all, she thought the sun hung out of Minhwan's ass and he killed her. Who's to say Jihyuk is any different when he has a whole other woman THAT HE NEVER FUCKING TOLD HER ABOUT???????

#here we go again #he was kind to her so she must accept his explanation #he can do no wrong #he was right to keep this from her and make her feel like a fool #just great on his end #because you know #he's an angel and she's somehow the devil #marry my husband

[ptsdangeldust]

tw rape / abuse / suicidal ideation / self harm

can i just fucking say that the "poison" scene was just fucking flawless to me. as a survivor of rape and psychological abuse it was so fucking hard to watch and hit on every note i wanted it to. the suicidal ideation, the self destruction, the pain, the torment, the addiction, the hopelessness, everything.

[this got long LOL big analysis of ep4 basically]

also it's a little funny how easily i called it when the pilot came out that angel was gonna have ptsd and cope with it through hypersexuality . like this was obvious from the start to me and they do telegraph / foreshadow it from the first episode pretty well in my opinion. like ALMOST too much. but at the same time i'm kind of glad. like that's what i like about the show is that it *is* so raw and over the top when it talks about this kind of thing. that's why i like campy edgy uncomfortable shit bc where the fuck else am i gonna hear anyone specifically hit the perfect sweet spot of just exploitative-feeling enough to feel palpably uncomfortable in a way that just like. perfectly conveys this message. in my opinion, obviously.

it's like so crazy to me that i had this exact high expectation for the show and adjusted for edginess and got exactly what i wanted and then some. like. god. they hit every note in succession all at once and then tied it off with a beautiful, nuanced but genuinely well paced and well thought out resolution.

"loser, baby" was so fucking perfect as the counterpoint to "poison" in this episode. also charlie coming in and being purehearted but not knowing what she's doing and making it worse. but angel ultimately understanding that she meant to help and it's not her that's the problem obviously. and then husk is ultimately the one to give a shit about angel (with some encouragement, which like i honestly appreciate that he doesn't take angel's bullshit and isn't just the like Token Black Savior who has no character or agency of his own [of course i'm white so don't take me as the authority on this issue but i'm certainly aware of it]) and like not only try to stop him from self destructing but like relate his experience and make him admit he has a fucking problem. sooooo much of abuse is built on making the victim think they're at fault for what they're going through. the way val makes him look in the mirror and say "yes" outloud to himself over and over while literally holding his head and threatening him was such a good way of driving that home. and then we see angel have so much pride poked at so easily when he's called fake because he's SO aware he's putting on an act. he lets himself be exploited because he thinks it gives him a sense of control. can't be called fake if i'm an actor. can't prove i'm ever real. never have to BE real. never have to admit that anything is wrong and come to terms with it.

and so husk comes right the fuck out and says it. you're a loser. you're washed up. you're a has been. you're self destructive. you hurt everyone around you. ..... and you're not alone. THAT'S the important part. that's the real thing that gets you out of abuse. people. not being alone. like not just KNOWING that THEORETICALLY you're not alone but actually having people show up and help you and put in the work and relate to you and listen to you and let you listen to them. that's why abusers chronically work to isolate people. because it's so much easier to exploit someone who has absolutely no support system. who only answers to them. who has no one to turn to if shit goes sour.

ok also the fucking hypersexual self harm? i have NEVER seen that portrayed so accurately and so explicitly before. i feel like basically every single time i see it talked about at ALL in media it's either 1) portrayed as like sexy or ultimately good 2) strays totally the opposite direction and is talking more about cycle of abuse shit (which yes that's also important but not what i'm after) 3) really just hinted at / i have to like extrapolate it from vague hints or 4) exists in shitty media that is not ultimately trying to tell a story about escaping abuse it's just talking about a tragic waif and trying to make you feel sad. which is just another kind of exploitation really. so it was very refreshing to see it made very clear that angel was going around *trying* to get drugraped (which is NOOOOOT the same as consent. but i'm not going to get into that) because he was trying to hurt himself. he knew it wasn't good for him and he sought it out anyway. he could have wound up dead and he did not care. that's how low his self esteem is. that's how little he thinks of himself. that's how absolutely terminal his suicidal ideation is. i like used the word 'passive' at first but no i would not call that passive he is clearly actively suicidal hsuidguhds (ftr passive suicidal ideation is like. 'i wish i could go to sleep and not wake up.' but not actually acting on it. active is when you start purposely not looking both ways when you cross the street. that's basically what angel was doing)

anyway yeah. ep4 was kind of the peak for me i'm ngl HUIDGHIS obviously i'm very excited to see where things are going in general but especially more huskerdust........ i would like live if they didn't actually end up together but it feels clear to me that they genuinely care about each other and at least angel does seem to have... romantic-leaning feelings for him. would be cool if they had some scene where husk is like just cuz i care about you doesn't mean i'm going to be your magic saviour through love or whatever. bc i feel like it would be so easy for angel to immediately want and/or expect that. i did personally coming out of my abuse where i was absolutely desperate for real actual non-abusive love of any kind but i was NOT remotely healthy enough to truly accept it then even if it had actually been handed to me and i wound up in something that was..... better, yes, but ultimately still toxic and not completely ideal. not abusive, no, just not like. healthy. lol. but i do have good healthy happy love now so i'm glad lol <3 but like anyway this is a common thing with abuse survivors and it would *make sense* to see it but like i wouldn't put it past them to just go straight into "and then angel got better immediately and they got together and everyone lived happily ever after the end" HSDUIGSHUID but like idk man. we'll see LOL

also i did want to comment on like...... the fact that the scene was worked on by someone with a legit rape fetish who was like straight up into angel/val as a ship and thought it was like cool and fun or whatever. like. i really don't think the scene itself came off as glorifying rape or abuse. it's blatantly obvious that it's not good and the emphasis is placed entirely on angel's pain. and like it's. it's not porn. it's evocative. it's explicit. but the purpose of the scene is not "look at this hot sexy sex" it's "look at this horrifying abuse". like yes obviously there are gonna be people who get off on it but people can get off on anything if they try hard enough. porn is art explicitly meant for jacking off. not everything about sex is porn. i think if you interpret it as glorifying sex you're honestly out of your goddamn mind. the song ends with angel talking about how he wants to fucking die because of it. is that glorification to you?? really???

ultimately, *I* think it's good. i think, objectively, the team did an extremely good job. give them an award or something. i swear. where's the oscar. my boy angel needs his oscar LOL

... one last note, because this is tumblr: this is very triggering material. probably it should've had a better warning of some kind. but it is telegraphed/foreshadowed like i said and the show is rated 16+ on amazon (i feel like it should be 18+ imo but it's like. it's repeatedly listed as being for adults/"R rated" in promo material at least) and sex and violence are listed right there at the top of each episode where it shows the rating so like. idk man. that's as much warning as is usually given for this kind of thing ngl. i absolutely am not saying it's not triggering. but it is important to portray triggering things. it is important to talk about these things to give people in these situations someone to relate to and to give them the language to understand how to escape abuse, first of all, and like also art in general *should* be challenging. i think they genuinely said important, unique things and said them well. they did wayyyy better than i thought they would. for real. like esp coming from viv knowing her past like. clearly someone in the room actually knew what they were doing lmao (one of the writers for hazbin also worked on the episodes in helluva that covered similar abuse recovery material so. you know)

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel analysis #? ig #my post

[oneforthemunny]

Love the ‘fucking the fussy out of you’ concept when readers just so pent up, she is accidentally snappy, but she wants to be good. Hormones are not on her side.

Mafia!Eddie would be confused because she never has an attitude unwarranted. He has a keen eye and ear, so he figures out what she needs pretty quickly. “That’s it, kitten? Needed it so bad?”

Older!Eddie is even more confused because Ness is so understanding and patient. It takes a few big hints until he realizes what’s got her riled up. Instead of the typical where she’s on top, he fucks her doggystyle and definitely plays with her ass. “Fucking hell, bunny, drippin’ onto the sheets. Might just have to fuck your ass with it.”

Rockstar!Eddie is used to this with Nepo Baby’s feistiness, but usually he’s a bit mean. When she’s like this, it means he keeps himself in check, but still rough enough until she falls apart. “There’s my sweet girl, gonna listen to me now? I’ll make you feel good, baby.”

Cowboy!Eddie is aggravated at first because the snapping usually ends you over his knee, but he is good with body language. (He deals with animals and has a good sense of emotion through it) He gives you a few smacks, but takes care of you, “Firin’ me up, girlie, know better than that. Ask when ya need somethin’, especially when it involves this cute little cunt.”

Dom!Eddie is well versed in this, but is similar to Rockstar and Cowboy where he has to reign it in because you’re feeling a bit more emotional than normal. He’ll bend you over all over his apartment until he’s carrying you, “Give me so much lip until my cocks inside you, hm?”

I'm drooling non holy shit. you guys are about to make me start another writing challenge bc yes!!! this!!!!

mafia!eddie is the ultimate gentle daddy dom so once he realizes that you're just needing a good, kinda mean fucking, he's gonna give you that gladly. probably has you pulled up and fucking your kinda mean and nasty, but saying sweet things in your ear that gets you swimming with excitement. "you're just needed daddy to give you extra attention today didn't you? not your fault you've been so mean, daddy wasn't doing a good job taking care of you."

older!eddie is like ???? bc he's so used to gina being horrible like this and usually it meant she was about to tear him apart... not wanting him to fuck her lol. not that it's ever on that level but ya know. he'd fuck her for hours, pulling as many orgasms as he could outta her. def toy with her ass, rotate between eating her pussy and ass, then fucking them until she's a mess.

rockstar!eddie is soooo used to this, but when she gets huffy and whiny instead of actually mean, he knows that means she needs the attitude fucked right out of her. usually means she wants him to be sorta sweet but mostly nasty. he fucks her in her fave position (tho she would never ever ever admit it was) which is her laying on her tummy, pillows under her hips, and he's on top. she loves the intimacy of it, and how he can fuck her so deep and rough but also kiss her and coddle her, pull her hair and then suck hickies into her neck. she just needs the intimacy and a little meanness lol.

cowboy!eddie would be confused because when his sweet girl is actually mad at him, she'll avoid him, but when she needs a good, mean, "get that attitude right outta ya" fucking, she follows him around like a little lost puppy, griping and snapping the whole way. "you got somethin' to say to me, girlie?" he'd throw down the hay, and on his hips glaring at her. she'd clench and huff, and he'd catch it knowing exactlyyyy what she needs. he'd only spank her a little (enough to make her feel good and warm up more than anything) then he's fucking her nasty, bent over gripping the fence while she's flooding the ground beneath them.

dom!eddie is so used to his little brat and that's usually what she does. she's so mean so that he'll fuck her mean (even though she just has to ask). sometimes he'll take it as a challenge to punish her and break her, but on days when she's needy and mean, he knows she just needs the attitude fucked out of her. spanks her over his knee, lets her grind away on his thigh and doesn't get mad when she cums on him. fucks her filthy, pounds her pussy doggy style and has a plug in her ass that he toys with while she's ass up, drooling mindlessly into the mattress.

#mafia!eddie munson #dom!eddie munson #cowboy!eddie munson #older!dilf!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie munson #oneforthemunny #munnytalks

[glorious-spoon]

I prompt "what's wrong with you?" because it made me giggle even though that's probably not how it's meant! If it sparks ofc ✨

that also made me giggle, so this is... definitely not a serious interpretation of the prompt, lol.

-

"Listen," Buck says. "I can explain."

"Uh huh." Eddie sounds deeply skeptical. Buck can picture the expression that goes with it: the flattened mouth betrayed by the teasing sparkle in his eyes. He can't see that expression, unfortunately, because he is currently wedged headfirst in the basement wall along with a jagged tangle of dislodged pipes. At least one of them has ruptured, and there's a sour stink of stale water. Buck should probably count himself lucky that it's nothing worse than that, but he's not feeling especially lucky right now.

"It's not what it looks like."

"Well, it looks like you got your head stuck in the basement wall."

"Okay," Buck concedes. "It is what it looks like. But it's not my fault."

"How did you even…" Eddie trails off. His footsteps move around Buck, like he's trying to take in the whole humiliating scene.

Buck tilts his forehead against the bare concrete wall with a sigh. That makes the pipes shift slightly, but not enough that he can actually disentangle himself. "I was trying to get at the trap vent. Maddie said they've been having a weird smell coming from the bathroom sink, and I told her I could just take care of it while she was at work so she didn't have to call a plumber, and then…"

"And then the plumbing came to life and tried to kill you," Eddie concludes. He's not doing a very good job of pretending not to be laughing at Buck, here.

"You're very funny," Buck says sourly.

"So I'm told."

"No, listen, whoever did the plumbing down here was a moron who didn't secure everything right, and one of the anchors came out, and—can you just help me out, please? You can make fun of me as much as you want afterward."

He probably could get out by himself if he really had to, but not without breaking something potentially expensive. At least Eddie lives within fairly easy driving distance. His other options would have been waiting for Maddie to get home in six hours, or calling 911, and he'd absolutely never hear the end of it. Good thing his phone, which he left on the other side of the room, has voice commands enabled.

"Oh, believe me, I will," Eddie says, but he also steps closer, pressing against Buck to peer over his shoulder. "Is that big pipe anchored to anything?"

"I think so. I didn't really want to yank on it too hard and find out."

"Okay, but what if I lift here—" He leans over Buck's shoulder as he speaks. "Hang on, let me get a better grip."

And then he hitches himself against Buck, warm and solid from chest to thigh, and honestly, Buck's life is a fucking farce.

"I'm pretty sure I saw a porno that started like this once," he blurts, because he can always be counted on to make an awkward situation worse by running his big mouth. And, okay, a little bit because Eddie plastered against him like this is extremely distracting, even under the current circumstances.

There's a long silence behind him, long enough to make him wonder if Eddie is genuinely offended. If maybe he's just going to stomp off and leave Buck stuck halfway through a basement wall until the 118 can show up with the halligan to rescue him, and then inevitably tease him mercilessly for the rest of his life. Which, like, he'd probably deserve, but he hopes not. The warm weight of Eddie's thigh tenses, then relaxes, but doesn't pull back.

"Oh my god," he says finally.

"Just saying," Buck adds, pressing his burning face to the cool concrete.

"What is wrong with you?" Eddie asks, but he sounds like he's laughing. "Don't answer that. It was a rhetorical question."

"I mean. Lots, technically."

"And we are not—" Eddie breaks off with a grunt, shifting back. Something creaks ominously overhead. "Okay, here. Duck your head a little, and I think we can—"

The pipe shifts, scraping painfully across Buck's trapped arm. Cloth tears, and he winces as the sharp edge of the metal digs into the point of his shoulder, but then he's free. He stumbles backward, the torn shoulder seam of his shirt flapping stupidly, and trips over Eddie, sending them both to the floor in an awkward tangle of limbs.

"Oof," Eddie mumbles, and shoves Buck's elbow out of his gut to sit up. "You good?"

"My pride is never going to recover," Buck says, putting a hand over his burning face. Then, "Yeah, I'm good. Thank you."

"Anytime," Eddie says, reaching down to pry Buck's hand out of the way. His hair is ruffled, and he's grinning, and honestly, Buck is in hell. "Come on. I think maybe this time we can leave the plumbing to the professionals. Have you had lunch yet?"

"No, I've been stuck in a wall for the past hour," Buck grumbles.

Eddie laughs again and gets to his feet, leaning down to offer Buck a hand. "Come on. We can stop by my place so you can grab a clean shirt, and then go get lunch. My treat."

"No, come on, I'm—you drove all the way over here to rescue me, I'll buy lunch."

"Well, I wasn't gonna leave you stuck in a wall all day."

"You're a good friend."

"Believe me, I know," Eddie says, but there's no rancor in it, or in the smile he aims Buck's way. His face is still faintly pink with laughter, and his eyes are sparkling, and Buck wants to kiss him.

It's an urge that's more or less constant these days, but it overwhelms him at the oddest moments. And the thing is, he's starting to think that if he tried it, Eddie might let him.

Now is probably not the moment for it; his shirt is still damp and smelly and Eddie is going to spend the rest of the day rightfully heckling him about this. But maybe someday. Maybe even someday soon.

Eddie pauses at the door, tilting his head toward the stairs. "You coming, or what?"

"Yeah, okay, I'm coming," Buck says, and follows him up out of the basement.

#911 #buddie #buddie fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #prompt fic #my fic

[astromechs]

me like "lol cassian would have a really bad paranoid time if he was ever stoned out of his mind, wouldn't he," and then i put that into my wider college au; this is in no way serious also on ao3!

Inside his chest, his heart is beating fast.

Has it always been like that? At the moment, Cassian thinks, it's hard to remember a time it hadn't been. The pounding feels constant, and it's so loud that it's drowning out all the other voices in the room, along with the terrible music that's been playing from Han's phone from behind the couch all night in the living room of the apartment Jyn and Leia share, and —

No, his heart hasn't always been like this, of course it hasn't — but the way it's beating has to be a sign of something bad. A heart attack? Is that what's happening to him? Even if it's rare, it's not unheard of in someone his age, and now that he's, as Kay would say, become a statistic, he needs to think fast. Act fast.

Needs to grab his phone.

With a shaking hand and breaths that become increasingly shallow, he reaches into the pocket of his jeans, and has to fumble, has a couple of false starts, before his phone is finally in hand. It's only one button that he needs, and they make it easy to find on purpose….

He stares at his lockscreen, and clarity suddenly hits him, with all the force of a brick being dropped onto his head.

The problem isn't in his heart, or anything medical about him at all. No, the problem is the phone — and it's a problem for every single person in this room, for every single person on the planet. Because everyone knows about surveillance technology, how advanced it's gotten and how advanced it's getting more and more everyday, how no one can ever be sure just who's listening, how anyone can sell a collection of data from an entire person's life story for the right price. It happens everyday.

It's happening right now. The phone is the problem.

His fingers curl tightly around the phone in his hands, just like they had around a baseball, once, before the sport (or really much of anything in the way of sports) hadn't taken as a hobby. Without any further thought, he hurls it across the living room; it makes an arc in the air before plummeting to the carpet.

No, the physics of it hadn't been the best, but he's having a little trouble seeing straight and holding up his arm without it wobbling on him. Which — now the phone knows his weakness.

All the phones know his weakness.

So it's better for all of them to be crushed under his feet, isn't it? Starting with the one he'd brought with him.

He moves to stand from the couch, but the world wobbles under his knees in the instant of his first attempt; his head is cloudy, his vision starts to swim. As he sinks back down onto it, heart pounding and breath shortening again, the only thing able to get through the noise is a soft hand on his thigh, and an even softer voice in his ear.

"Cass?"

Slowly, he turns on his side until Jyn's wide green eyes are all he's looking into. Her other hand, the one that isn't still resting on his thigh, moves to his face, the warmth of her fingers a welcome balm against his cold, clammy skin. Her mouth twists into a frown.

"Oh, fuck," he can hear Han breathe out from somewhere across the coffee table. "He's one of those."

Jyn shifts away from him then, her hand dropping back down to her side, and he feels, more than sees, her tense, in the way she always does just before she spits venom. "What a brilliant fucking observation."

"Can you both just stop it for once?" Leia's voice nearby — about ten seconds from snapping, if he had to estimate.

Neither Luke nor Bodhi have anything to add, but their wide, worried glances in his direction are obvious. They probably don't know about the phones, he thinks — and he has to tell them; if the phones are listening and something terrible finds them because he hadn't told them, it'll be all his fault. He can't let that happen, because too many things have been his fault already.

But his heart's pounding and his throat's dry, and he can't manage to get his voice to speak. It feels like everything's spinning around him when he's completely still, and he just can't distinguish much of anything in the noise. He scrunches his eyes shut once, and then again.

Nothing helps.

A hand takes his, tugging him toward the edge of the couch. He gives it everything he has not to let it move him. This is important.

It tugs at him again. He stays still.

Even through his current hazy grip on consciousness, he knows Jyn's irritated, frustrated huff of breath like it's an extension of himself. Still, he doesn't move.

"Come on. You can stand. I've got you." She sounds like she's literally gritting her teeth, and she probably is, but still, he doesn't move. "We're gonna go in my room, okay? And you're gonna sleep this off, and you're gonna be fine."

Cassian shakes his head fiercely. Which makes the room spin around him all over again, so he stops that motion in its tracks. "No." It's only after scrunching his eyes shut for a moment that he's able to think a little bit again, able to meet Jyn's gaze. Able to rasp, "I have to tell them. About the phones."

Because she has to understand.

Her brows knit in confusion as she looks back at him, and he doesn't know how long they stay there like this, in this silent standoff. Eventually, though, she turns her head away from him even as her hand is still gripping his, and his eyes follow her as she sets her attention on Han across the coffee table.

She doesn't say anything, but he sees her mouth form words: I'll kill you.

It's all silent, because… clearly she knows about the phones, even if he hasn't been able to say anything.

Of course she knows; she's smart and great. And also beautiful — which doesn't have anything to do with the other things or define who she is to him, it's just true and he likes thinking it.

So, actually? He can let her lead him anywhere, even if it's out of the room and out of sight, because she'll know what the right next move is.

Later, probably several hours later, when he'll stir awake with a headache like nothing he's ever known but unable to move on account of Jyn collapsed on top of his chest, snoring softly, it'll occur to him that something had tasted a little off in the brownie that had been suggested for him to try.

And later still, it'll occur to him that following any suggestion coming out of Han Solo's mouth would never be destined to be anything but a terrible idea.

#rebelcaptain #cassian andor #jyn erso #han solo #because he instigated a lot of shit here so he gets tagged ghfjdks #* fic #* rebelcaptain college au

[cherubkeery]

Boys a Liar

I just thought the song title was fun. It doesn’t really relate lol

Dating Steve Harrington was not a easy feat. He was a lot to deal with. Not that you minded that at all. You liked him for who he was. Liked him for the man he was becoming. He did get a bit clingy at times. But again it wasn’t something you minded. It was hard though, to get to him when he was down. But you managed.

Just the constant girl coming up to you and telling you how good he was in bed. How he’s been with every girl in Hawkins. It was starting to make you a bit insecure. Not that you would voice it out loud. You didn’t want him to know how easily it got to you. It was even worse that some girls have come up to talking about Nancy. How you could never replace her in his heart. You were a rebound, a joke. These girls knew exactly where to hit you where it hurt. So for a couple of days, you’ve been very MIA.

“Hey buttercup.” Eddie said, greeting you as he sat down next to you. You gave him a smile before handing him the popcorn you made for him and you. He was your best friend and knew everything there was to know about you. The only thing was you hadn’t told him about the whole Steve situation. You decided to keep it to yourself.

“This movie kind of sucks.” You remarked and he snickered.

“Well what should we watch? This is the only- wait why don’t we go to family video. Pick up a movie that way you can see your boyfriend and we can have something actually interesting to watch.” Your heart stopped when you heard Family Video.

Little to your knowledge, Steve had gone to Eddie about you. In Eddie’s words, the poor boy was going a little insane without you. You hadn’t returned any of his calls. Every time he went over, your sister would always tell him you weren’t home. He would try to sneak into your room. But your room was right next to your parents and they could see if anyone was getting in or out. Eddie had no idea what to tell him, you hadn’t mentioned any drift. Or reason why you weren’t talking to him.

So when he suggested to go get a new movie, he looked at you to gauge your reaction. You took a few minutes to come up with a response.

“Movies are boring anyway. Why don’t we uh- go to the uh-.” You said, cringing at yourself for not knowing what to say. “The record store! Why not there. We can listen to that album you’ve been trying to get me to listen to.”

Eddie rose an eyebrow at you, he paused the movie and turned to you.

“I know you’re not talking to Steve. He told me.”

You gaped at him, he got you there. You hadn’t anticipated Steve going to Eddie instead. You sighed and covered your face in your hands.

“It’s not his fault. It’s just that every girl he’s ever hooked up with. Keep coming up to me saying he’s going to leave you for Nancy. He’s a good fuck, etc etc.”

“See Harrington, she’s not mad at you.” You were shocked, had he been here the whole time? Did he hear everything that was said? You stared at Eddie comically.

“Traitor!” You said, tossing popcorn at him. Eddie laughed and shrugged them off of him. Steve eyes soften when he looked at you.

“Eh, you’ll forgive me eventually. Gotta go!” He said, getting up from where he sat and running out the room. Steve stood there, waiting for you to finally acknowledge him.

“Hey.” He said.

“Hi.”

He sat down next to you, this was starting to get more uncomfortable by the moment. Not because you didn’t feel comfortable around him. Just the fact that he heard you. That you should have gone to him about this. Instead of distancing yourself. But here you guys were now.

“Look, I know my reputation was going to eventually catch up to me. But I promise you, I don’t love Nancy like that anymore. If anything, I kind of love her like a sister.” You watch as he played with his fingers. He looked at you from where he sat. “And those girls, those girls are not you.”

You stared down at your own hands, you didn’t hate getting vulnerable. But you did run from him when you should have told him what was bothering you. You met his eyes once more, there was so much love in them. You stared at the constellations scattered on his face. Your boy was beautiful and he loved you. You knew that.

“I love you so much. It hurts to breathe sometimes.” You reached over to cup his face.

“I love you too, Stevie. I’m sorry I ran.”

“It’s okay. I understand why you did it.” You leaned in close to him and placed a kiss on his cheek. He smiled. Then he placed a kiss on your lips. “Now I can have you in my arms again.” He tackled you to the ground and cuddled you close. You laughed and wrapped your arms around his neck.

You loved him and he loved you. There was nothing more better for you to ask for.

“You’re still going to kill Eddie? Aren’t you.”

“Yep.”

#stranger things #stranger things x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine

[wildlife4life]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by @wikiangela @giddyupbuck @disasterbuckdiaz @rogerzsteven @devirnis and @spaceprincessem You are all so lovely and I cannot wait for your fics!

So I will admit I've slowed down a bit on writing. I'm sort of stuck, but kind of powering through it. Transition scenes are a bit rough for me sometimes lol. Anywho, here's some more NFL Buck, more specifically, pre-secret relationship.

The next home game, Buck found him on the sidelines, dressed in his jersey and sweats, and still in concussion protocol, keeping him from the field. “You’re a hard man to find Edmundo Diaz.” He drawled. Eddie stiffened at his full given name, and promptly corrected the younger man, “Its Eddie and looks like you found me just fine.” Buck leaned back on his heels, blue eyes twinkling with mirth, “Well I’ve been trying to find you for the past two weeks, and in all that time I was only able to get a name and the slight possibility you would be at today’s game.  Training staff knew next to nothing, and the university suits wouldn’t spill.”  The EMT quirked an eyebrow, “Yet you somehow learned my name.” Those blue eyes flickered over to Eddie’s captain, Tommy Vega, who was watching the two of them with a smug grin, and shrugged, “Ran into him when Tim and I were dropping a patient yesterday. Thought he deserved a shot. Never seen you smile let alone a laugh like that since joining my crew.” Sitting nearby, Tim threw his hands up in defense when Eddie’s narrowed gaze turned to him, “I said nothing and I told her to say nothing, but she didn’t listen.” Tommy scoffed, coming over to Tim’s side, “You pointed the kid out.” She pulled the EMT to his feet by his elbow and gently nudged him down the tunnel, “We’ll give you two a minute.” Buck watched Eddie’s fellow paramedics disappear then gave an awkward chuckle, “Please don’t be angry with them. I was annoyingly persistent and charming.” “Good to know you have some faults.” Eddie remarked, keeping his arms crossed and defenses up. He couldn’t fall for this guy’s charm, with his adorable birthmark, sparkling blue eyes that he could get lost in, bright-sunny demeanor that reminded him so much of Christopher, and muscular form he wanted to run his hands all over, learning every dip and- Eddie shook his head, pulling himself hard from that train of thought. “Look, Buckley, I was just doing my job okay? And I don’t go past those glass doors, for anything.” Or anyone, no matter how bad he wants to step over that line.

I love Tommy Vega and in my world, she ships buddie hard.

If you want to see more NFL Buck, just search under the nfl tag on my page. Happy Wednesday!

Tagging: @alyxmastershipper @thewolvesof1998 @thekristen999 @glorious-spoon @lizzybizzyzzz @hippolotamus @forthewolves @brokenribsdiaz @cowboydiazes @cowboy-buddie @cowboy-buck @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @princessfbi @bigfootsmom @eowon @bekkachaos @911onabc @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @starlingbite @try-set-me-on-fire @spotsandsocks @honestlydarkprincess @shortsighted-owl @homerforsure @sibylsleaves @transbuck @housewifebuck

#wip wednesday #tag game #my wips #911 fox #911 abc #911 show #911 fic #buddie #buddie fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #tommy vega #tim rosewater #nfl #quarterback buck #firefighter eddie #secret relationship #pre relationship #tommy ships buddie #reluctant eddie #buck is persistant

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Can Ma Kent be the sweet old southern woman oddduck needs? Someone who listens and lets her talk about Bruce and her frustrations with Clark and Lois but not try to solve it or pry for more info or anything? I just want oddduck to have a safe space rn lol

"Ma I'm sorry I-"

Martha waved away his concerns cheerfully and kissed his cheek, "You know we'll be fine. Pa will be perfectly happy to watch the game and I'll go see Y/N-" Her eyes narrowed when her son winced, looking a little ashamed of himself.

"Ma I don't know if-"

"Even if she's irritated at you right now she'll be thrilled to see me," she snorted.

Clark nodded slowly and stooped to kiss her cheek, "Call if you need anything-"

"We''ll be fine," she assured him, watching him go. Shaking her head and picking up her jacket and her handbag.

"Kids fighting, you think?" her husband asked.

"Not fighting," Martha said, kissing the top of his head and making sure he had a cold drink at hand. "I think, Clark has been meddling where he shouldn't-"

"With what?"

"Never you mind," she said smiling a little. What Lois had let slip and what she'd gleaned from talking to you briefly would have been enough to make the rest of his hair go grey.

"Martha-"

"Can't hear you I'm going to so watch a Lecture," she said, heading towards the University where you taught.

_________________

Martha snuck in and hung near the back. It was a big room and the students you were teaching were in various states of paying attention. But the ones that were? They were enraptured. And Martha understood it. She'd watched you hone this for years- ever since you were a little girl.

She didn't know if it was innate or if you practiced it in the mirror. But either way, she enjoyed it.

"Alright All, remember. Mid Terms are next week. And there are 3 essay questions- You only have to do ONE. If you do all three and get them right, there's extra credit in it for you-"

She watched you dismiss your class and waited, watching you gather your papers and your laptop, making her way down the steps, "Excuse me professor?" she teased. Beaming at you when you look up.

"I thought-"

"They got called in to work," she explained, "so I thought I'd come bother you. Make you get a slice of pie and some coffee with me."

You smile and pull out your laptop again, "Just let me email my next class and let them know they get a day off."

_______________

Martha listened for a little while. She knew there was a lot you weren't saying. About how annoyed you were with her son and his wife.

"I told them to get a dog if they want something to parent," you tell her.

"Good," she said, smiling a little. "Now about this man-"

"He doesn't even like me that way so I don't understand-"

Martha shook her head fondly. If he wasn't sweet on you, he wasn't as smart as Clark said. You're a cutie. Not a model. But there was a girl next door quality. A sweetness. A warmth. And you were smart? He'd have to be blind and stupid. And she could see, from the way you flustered a little talking about him, the way your cheeks heated that you liked him. "What's your mother say?"

You shrug, "I'm sure she'd have a lot to say if I told her anything-"

"Y/N."

"I mean why would I tell her after-"

"That wasn't your fault," Martha said softly, patting your hand. Trying not to worry about the fact that you'd only taken a couple bites of your pie and were now aimlessly picking. You were upset. This was bothering you.

"I chose-"

"You chose him because he lied to you, baby," she reminded you. "And then he left you."

You nod and Martha squeezed your hand again, hoping that Bruce knew what he was doing. He was going to have his work cut out for him if he was going to convince you of anything. And she hoped you were wrong. That he did like you enough to do the work.

#Bruce Wayne #Bruce Wayne x reader #odd duck!reader #ask answered #minors dni

[shadow-the-crow]

why i would be an avatar of these fear entities:

got this idea from the lovely @totheidiot (who got it from @cult-of-the-eye) - basically experiences that could have marked me and stuff that connects me to the entities. (Disclaimer: I'm only in the middle of season 2 and only know the basic lore, so i don't exactly know what makes you become an avatar)

the Lonely: This is the one i feel most connected to. Loneliness has always found me at different points in my life - mostly because of my social anxiety. I often didn't have many friends, had difficulties connecting with new people, and mostly i even feel disconnected from my friends because i'm scared of opening up and being myself. At this point i feel like it's a part of me. Like it's continuously eating me up but by now i'm embracing it. Also, a close friend of mine says she's had a constant feeling of loneliness ever since she lived with me for a few months. (She says it wasn't my fault, that it's probably just because she was far fom her family and other friends, but still.) So i might already be an irl avatar of the Lonely lol

the Extinction (and maybe this is also a bit of the Vast?): This happened last summer during a holiday in Italy with my family. One night, the whole sky was suddenly lit up by lightnings every few seconds, they formed crazy patterns but stayed in the sky. Then there was also thunder, getting louder and louder, and at one point it just didn't stop anymore. At this point, i actually thought the world was ending. Then the hail started. The hailstones were bigger than tennis balls, and we were in a mobile home, so we were legitimately scared the roof would collapse. I stayed weirdly calm though. It kept going for maybe half an hour, thankfully nobody got hurt.

the Eye: I used to be pretty paranoid as a kid, i often felt like i was being watched when i was alone. I'm also a very curious person who loves learning new stuff, and i can't stand not knowing something, so i often immediately look up things i'm wondering about. Also people on here have told me i'm of the Eye because i can't stop listening to tma although it scares me, like i somehow feel compelled to continue, but idk if that means anything.

the Spiral: I'm not sure if this one counts, but i feel really drawn to the Distortion's weird existence and the whole "it is not what it is" thing. Also "there's no such thing as a real name" is a quote that deeply resonates with me, idk, i just think it's true - and i'm convinced i'll never find a name that feels like it's mine. Also i'm really good at lying, sometimes i lie about little things just for fun.

the Corruption: Corruption to a certain degree gives me comfort because my family's home has always been... idk, "dirty" is the closest word i can think of, but that doesn't really describe it. We regularly clean and all, the rooms look clean at first sight - but there's old, forgotten, sometimes moldy stuff in the cracks and under the furniture and on the kitchen sink, and a lot of walls are moldy in the corners. So it just feels like there's something rotting underneath, and that feeling is comforting to be by now. Unrelated to that, i also still remember that one time i climbed on a tree and suddenly there were ants all over my body and i just jumped and shaked my limbs for like a minute.

#trauma dumping is fun #sorry for the long post #if anyone actually reads all of this i'm impressed lol #tma #the magnus archives #tma podcast #tma entities #tma fears #tma spoilers #did i really just spend more than an hour writing this #tw social anxiety #tell me if i should put a tw for anything else

[taivansupremacy]

Blue Pt. 2 (Robin x Reader)

Part 1

Summary: Robin comes to find you after Vickie's party, but things don't go as planned.

A/N: i was so surprised by how many people loved Blue and wanted a second part!! thank you all so much for your kind words! they really motivated me to get this out to you asap lol

CW: swearing

You jumped when you heard three loud bangs on your front door. When you moved to get it, lifting your tear-streaked face off of Steve’s chest, he gently pushed you back down, assuring you that he would get it. You were too devastated to argue.

Steve made his way downstairs and opened the door to an anxious, pacing Robin. She stopped in her tracks when the door swung open and faced Steve.

“Where is she? Is she okay? I looked around the whole party and everyone said she left but they didn’t know with who. I was worried sick.” She moved to step her foot through the threshold of the door but Steve blocked her.

“She’s fine, well physically.” Steve shook his head and sighed, “She needs some space, Robin. I’ll take you home and you can come back by tomorrow.”

“No,” She stated firmly, crossing her arms, “I need to see her.”

“Rob, she doesn’t need any more heartbreak right now, just please-“

“Heartbreak?” She blurted, “What do you mean heartbreak?”

Steve silently scolded himself for his mistake. He knew that telling Robin more information would make her even more determined to see you tonight.

“It’s not my place to tell you any of that. Like I said, come back-” Robin pushed past him as he spoke and dashed for the stairs. “Hey! Rob, I said-“

But she had already made it to your bedroom and pushed your door open slowly. She was met with the sight of your form in your bed, under the covers, and facing away from the door.

“y/n, thank god. I was looking for you everywhere.”

“Well that’s a first, isn’t it?” You bit back, sitting up and turning to face the blonde.

Before she could retort, Steve stepped into the room, about to give her hell for bothering you.

“I’ll leave when she tells me to, Harrington.” She groans, looking at you expectantly.

“She can stay,” You decided.

You had so much that you needed to say to her, so much that you kept bottled up for so long as not to disturb her happiness, but at your expense. You thought that especially after the events of tonight, you deserved to let her have it because as hurt as you were, you were also angry.

Steve threw his hands up in surrender and backed out of the room, closing the door behind him.

“What do you mean ‘that’s a first,’ y/n? I was so fucking worried about you.” She spat, beginning to pace around your bedroom.

“Robin, you haven’t cared about me for months! I’m surprised that you even noticed that I left the party!” You shouted, tears threatening to start falling once again, “You’ve been ditching me at parties to hang out with Vickie, canceling our weekly movie nights to go to Vickie’s house,” You scoff, furiously wiping a tear from your cheek, “You’ve even been eating lunch with her and leaving me at our table alone. And when we are together, she’s all you talk about. Our conversations have all been Vickie-centered! You haven’t asked about me in who knows how long! And you know what? I haven’t said anything to you because I didn’t want to get in the way of your goddamn happiness!” You took a calming breath before continuing, “I’m tired of feeling like my only purpose in your life is to serve as a listening ear for your one-sided conversations and a shoulder for you to lean on when you won’t offer me the same.”

“That’s not fair and you know it, y/n!” She spat as she continued to pace a hole in your bedroom floor, “It’s not my fault that you didn’t speak up. I can’t read your mind!”

“God,” You scoff, “You completely missed the point but I can’t even say that I’m surprised.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that your head has been up your ass, as of late,” The tears were freely falling down your cheeks and neck as you spoke, “You haven't been able to see anything beyond yourself and Vickie in a long time.”

“I have a life outside of you, y/n. Fucking sue me!” She stopped pacing to look at you, her hands flying wildly as she spoke.

All you wanted was for Robin to hear you, to care about how hurt you felt, but the longer the conversation (or screaming match) went on, you could tell that she was no closer to understanding your feelings than she was when she walked in your room.

“But you don’t have a life outside of Vickie though, right?”

“Just because your love life is nonexistent doesn't mean you can you get to stick your nose in mine!”

Your heart stung and hurt flashed across your face. You looked down at your hands in your lap. Robin had never been this malicious before, at least not to you. She knew what it was like to be gay in Hawkins and how hard it was to show yourself to someone, especially someone you liked. You had confided in her about how you felt insecure about your lack of dating experience and love life and at the time, she felt the same. It was so unlike her to take a jab at something that she knew you were insecure about. You didn’t recognize your best friend anymore.

“I want you to leave now, Robin.” Your voice cracked.

“y/n-” She started, taking a step toward you, holding a hand out. Regret was written all over her face, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“I said leave!” You fumed, refusing to let her see the hurt in your eyes, although you knew that she could probably hear it in your voice.

Robin wordlessly left the room, clicking the door shut behind her. It was only then that you allowed yourself to lay back down and sob.

****

After taking Robin home, Steve stayed the night on the floor in your bedroom. You didn’t want to be alone and he was happy to oblige. He sat in bed with you as you cried and vented about the fight that you had with Robin, although you were sure that she had already given him a recap from her perspective. He was there for you through it all, even in the weeks prior to the fight, when you felt like you didn’t mean anything to Robin and thought you were losing your best friend. You don’t know what you would have done without him. He even called out of work the next morning so he could stay with you.

You didn’t wake up until noon the next day, all the crying and yelling of the night before wearing you out. Steve offered to get pancakes for breakfast and you happily accepted but opted to stay home and wait rather than go with him. Just as he opened the door to leave, Robin appeared on your front porch, chewing on her lip and rocking on her heels. When she saw Steve on the other side of the door, her eyes widened.

“Listen, I know that you’re probably not gonna let me in because you didn’t want to last night and I was a bitch to y/n when I finally got inside and you and her probably hate me right now, but I feel physically sick when I reflect on my actions and words and I know that I don’t deserve it, but I need a second chance to fix this.” She looked at Steve pleadingly, her brows furrowing together.

“First of all, I don’t hate you, Robin. I think that what you said last night was shitty, but you’re still one of my best friends.” Steve said, “Go in and make amends, just please promise me that you’ll actually try to hear y/n out this time.” He stepped away from the door to allow Robin access before he headed out the door himself.

Robin pushed your door open slowly. Her heart was in her throat and as much as she wanted to make everything right, she was scared of how you’d react when you noticed her.

“What’d you forget this time ding-” You faltered when you saw Robin standing at your door, sporting a guilty smile, and not Steve coming back to retrieve something that he had forgotten. “What are you doing here?”

Robin’s cheeks flushed red and she looked down at her feet, “I-I didn’t come here to fight, I swear.” She walked further into your room, taking a seat in a chair adjacent to your bed. “I’ve been replaying last night in my head all night since I walked out of your room,” She sighed, playing with a loose thread on her jeans, “I couldn’t sleep because we weren't speaking. You are so endlessly important to me, y/n and I’m sorry that it took almost losing you to make me act like it.”

You nodded, finally allowing yourself to look at the blonde. You patted the spot next to you in bed and watched as Robin crossed the room and sat criss-cross beside you.

“I want my old Robin back. You don’t get to just apologize and continue to ditch me all the time until it’s convenient for you,” You sighed, “With that being said, I wasn’t exactly an angel either. I know that I should have been better at communicating when things started to bother me.”

She flung herself toward you and held you in a tight hug. You hold onto her just as tightly, burying her face in the crook of her shoulder. Your Robin was back.

“So, now that we’re on speaking terms again,” You chuckled, “Tell me all about your night with Vickie.”

“y/n…”

“No, it’s okay. I want to know.”

“Well, I don’t think that we’re a good match,” She shrugged.

“But, I saw you two-”

“Oh,” Robin’s face heated up, “You know, I had so many expectations as to what it would be like to kiss Vickie and finally get confirmation that she liked me. I expected to feel all warm inside and just so full of love, but I felt none of that. Actually… I’ve only ever felt that way with you. Aside from making sure that you didn’t get kidnapped by a drunk high schooler, that’s what I came here to tell you last night.”

A beat of silence passed as you processed what Robin had just told you, but she thought that the silence meant that you were uncomfortable or maybe even angry.

“Listen, I probably should have just kept that to myself because now you probably think I’m weird and maybe you won’t want to hang out with me anymore, but if you don’t feel the same, we can just forget I said anything and go back to being good old platonic Robin and y/n. I also want to add that I don’t think you’ll be interested in me just because you like girls but-”

You launched forward and connect your lips with Robin’s, winding your arms around her neck. She kissed you back slowly and moves her hands to your waist. Your heart leaped out of your chest as you came to the realization that you are getting exactly what you wanted for months. Robin noticed you and now she was kissing you with just as much enthusiasm as you were kissing her. When you finally pulled away, you looked at Robin with the biggest smile that you’ve managed in a while.

“I have been wanting to do that for such a long time,” You breathed, allowing a hand to linger on the blonde’s soft cheek.

Robin hummed and leaned into your touch, “Then why didn’t you?”

You thought for a moment, “There was always someone else,” You shrugged, dropping your hand from her cheek and taking her hand in yours, “Guess I just didn’t think I had a chance.”

Robin sighed, rubbing her thumb over your knuckles, “When we met at the beginning of junior year, I had the biggest crush on you. I was planning on asking you out, but by the time I got the confidence, you were one of my best and only friends and I couldn’t lose that, so I gave up and threw myself into Tammy, then eventually Vickie.” She paused for a moment, “But they never made me feel the way you do.”

You blushed, bringing her hand to your lips and dropping a kiss on her knuckles. You were over the moon and although you knew that you and Robin had a lot of growing to do, in the moment, you let yourself have the pure bliss of knowing that she was just as in love with you as you were with her. The rest would come later.

#stranger things fanfic #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley x y/n #robin buckley x you #stranger things #robin buckley x female!reader #robin buckley fanfic #robin buckley imagine #wlw fanfic #reader insert #steve harrington #stranger things x y/n #robin buckley fluff #stranger things angst #robin buckley angst #stranger things fluff #angst #fluff #stranger things fanfiction

[notoriousbeb]

A Partial Haylor Relationship Timeline (In My Head)

I was listening to 1989 a few days ago and, as I do, I stumbled down a Haylor rabbit hole.

While I think my reference points are logical, much of this is, of course, speculation, so continue only if that’s your bag:

My jumping off point was this thought: “Hmm…is Wonderland about the rumored fight in Virgin Gorda in January 2013?”

So, we went on our way

Too in love to think straight

All alone, or so it seemed

But there were strangers watchin'

And whispers turned to talkin'

And talking turned to screams

…

I reached for you, but you were gone

I knew I had to go back home

You searched the world for somethin' else

To make you feel like what we had

And in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad

Now I’m thinking the “long six months” referenced in “How You Get the Girl” was between January 2013 and June 2013. And when they got back together in June, they decided to keep their relationship out of the public eye, because that had been a point of tension.

(Side note: I’ve seen it referenced on a wiki, but without citation that I’ve found, that Taylor wrote and recorded HYGTG in January 2013; however, according to her, she didn’t start working on 1989 until around April 2013, during the Red tour).

So perhaps they’re together in secret though the summer but, by the fall, she needs some space and is maybe cracking under the pressure of all the secrecy (“I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you”). So they take a break. He goes out with Kendall in late November.

Yet, in December, Harry tweets the lyrics “better still, be my winding wheel” on Taylor’s birthday.

But word spreads in January 2014 that they’re meeting up on the down-low in Malibu. (It was later confirmed by Courteney Cox that several of those hangs were at her house…man, they’re all so cool).

In February, they’re spotted hanging out with Ed in London.

Later that month, Harry writes “Just a Little Bit of Your Heart.” Two days later, Taylor writes “I Know Places.”

She later told GLAM in 2015, “[IKP] is a song about how other people will really ruin a relationship if they get a chance to and how it might be the best way to go about starting a relationship is to keep it a secret if possible just because it’s very fragile.”

They potentially take another break around this time, as Taylor writes “Clean” on February 9…but then she writes “Style” 10 days later, lol. So “Clean” is either not about Harry or she’s clearly not totally over him/ruling out getting back together someday.

(Side note: the whole “10 months sober” line in Clean confuses me, because if it was Harry-related, then that would place their break up in April 2013, which just doesn’t line up with anything I have seen. Thoughts?)

In March, Harry writes “I Love You.”

Another summer of them maybe being together in secret — maybe on-and-off or not exclusive —goes by, and it seems like they call it off for real again when, in August, Harry writes “Not Our Fault” with Gavin DeGraw.

Gavin says, “[The song] is about...if it doesn't work out sometimes you can't necessarily just blame it on yourselves, you know, sometimes it's what's going on around you. Sometimes it's other things that have nothing to do with the two people involved, those factors that you can't control. It touches on that type of subject. It’s a way of saying you're giving up, but it's not necessarily you're giving up because you don't love each other."

In November 2014, at the American Music Awards, Harry is super supportive of Taylor and 1989 and whistles as she receives an award.

In December, they party together after the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

In January 2015, they both go to a friend’s birthday party and out to a diner afterwards.

At some point, on his birthday, he makes her cry. While I can’t be sure of the exact year, because it’s a reference in the unreleased and later leaked “Hunger” song, the song also says, “as one year turns into two, I’m still not over you.” If it was two years since they fully ended in February 2015, they’d put us in February 2017. And HS1 came out in May 2017, so the timing works out.

Also, this birthday fight could be what causes her to wash her hands of them in the club, picture him with other girls in love and throw up on the street (“Hits Different”).

A week after his birthday, February 7, 1D starts their final tour. Later that month, Taylor meets Calvin and they start dating in late March.

She also maybe records “So It Goes…” in early March. I know there’s debate about the timing of this song’s creation, but if Oscar Görres (who wrote the instrumental) had his second child (born Sept. 17, 2017) the day they finished it, it wouldn’t have been done on time to make the Nov. 10, 2017 Reputation album release date (it’s typically 3-4 months of prep after the masters are done). She was also seen going into a studio on March 2, 2015 (per his retelling, Görres was at home when Taylor and Shellback were in the studio finishing the track and talked to them by phone).

In May the 2015 Billboard Music Awards Exile/Woman debacle goes down. Sad face.

In August 2015, Harry writes “Someday.”

And that’s all she wrote…well, kind of.

As we all know, they’re friendly after this, appearing at award shows, attending Ed’s wedding, and still talking about each other in the media with nothing but warmth and respect.

They, famously, date other people.

But they also continue to write about each other, more than a dozen songs between them, as recently as 2022.

And now, in June 2023, I’m just manifesting that “someday” is soon.

p.s. Credit and enormous props to @haylortml for the amazing timeline I pulled much of this from. You have truly done the lord’s work.

#haylor #haylor timeline #timeline