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george-fabian-weasley · 3 years

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the mad hatter — g. w. (chapter 4)

Summary: Due to your direct relations with George Weasley, you were prohibited from leading the case anymore. But you were given a chance to interrogate him, and the tension between the married couple thickens.

Words: 2,861 words

Warnings ⚠: TW murder, TW blood, TW injuries, angst, thriller, husband!george, sadistic!george, fem!reader, arguments, mentions of sadism

Disclaimer: hey yall <3 welcome back to another chapter of ‘syaf simping for sadistic george!’, I haven’t been able to be active in this site because of work, so I’m really sorry! I’m making it up for yall though, I have some fics ready in no time so wait for it! Reblogs and Comments are highly Appreciated! Enjoy!

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“... What do you mean?” Your voice was slow, yet it was menacing. “You heard me,” He said, sighing. “So you’re saying I can’t have this case anymore?” Your tone was quivering, trying your hardest to control your anger. The man in front of you, Remus Lupin is the A. D. A of the case. He’s going to be the one to put The Mad Hatter— no, George Weasley to jail.

But he’s pulling on your strings at the moment. Tightly.

“It’s inevitable, Y/N—” “Bullshit!” You slammed your hands on your desk, the pain of your palms didn’t sting, the adrenaline coursing through your veins were much stronger. You’re now breathing through your mouth, huffing slowly like a predator towards its prey. You’re angry, very angry.

He’s telling you to back off from your own case.

“You recommended me for this case to the higher ups. And now you want to take it back?” You scoffed, glaring at Remus with the deadliest look you can muster, “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“This is my case. I’ve spent a month of my time and my co-workers’ time investigating this prick,” You spat, huffing a cynical smile, “You have no right to take away this case from me.”

“As this case’s attorney, I actually do, in fact, have the right to take this case away from you, Weasley,” Remus spat out as venomously, “Need I remind you that prick is your own husband. You have direct relations to the suspect, therefore you are now ineligible to either investigate him or take any part of this case.”

You two were in your office at the headquarters, door closed shut yet everyone dares not to knock on the room containing two wolves.

“I don’t bloody care that he’s my husband, he’s a mass murderer and should be treated as such, therefore your reasoning to kick me out of this case is utter bollocks!”

“You’re a fucking witness now, Y/N! You’re his wife!” Remus finally matched the tone of your voice, the veins bulging on his neck showed the severe control he had on himself to not explode. He sighed heavily, slightly massaging his temples, “How do I make this clear so you can understand, Y/N,” He muttered loud enough for you to hear, before looking at you straight to the eye.

“You have feelings for your suspect. You married him for seven bloody years so don’t give me that bullshit that it doesn’t matter and you won’t get emotional in that room!” He shouted, hand flinging to the direction of the investigation room, where George was waiting.

Patiently.

“You know this would happen the moment you put him in cuffs. You know already. What do you even want to ask him anyway?” Remus’s tone deflated as his shoulders dropped. You clenched your jaw, hard enough to feel the veins at your temple to bulge. Remus was right, what do you even want to ask him anyway? Why would he do this to you? Why would he lie to you? Why would he play you like this?

Does he even love you?

‘Get a grip on yourself, woman. He’s no longer your husband, he’s The Mad Hatter,’ the voice in your head sternly said, snapping you out from your train of thoughts. You took a deep breath, calming down your temper as you spoke, “I want to ask him why would he target former sexual assaulters, and record himself talking about them.”

Remus shrugged his eyebrows, “Good questions indeed, but what makes you think he’s going to tell you?”

You huffed a smirk, “What makes you think he won’t? I’m his wife, like you said and the mother of his child. I have the leverage that he doesn’t,” You said, feeling your confidence coming back and your professionalism finally resurfacing after what seems like hours of self-wallowing of ‘where did it all go wrong?’

Remus mirrored your smirk, “He fooled you blind for 7 years. What makes you think he won’t try again for the next 30 minutes?” He questioned, and you nonchalantly shrugged with a lazy smile on your lips, “Guess you just have to sit back and watch me do my job.”

The smile on your lips vanished, your grim expression had slightly intimidated Remus, “Let me in that room, and I’ll get him to confess that he’s The Mad Hatter.”

---

He knew you would come.

George smiled as he watched you walk in the room with the case’s file. “I knew you would come,” he watched as you slightly froze at his voice, before a hard look settled on your face, “Yeah, well, I need answers.”

George painted a small smile on his lips, “I’ll try my best to answer you then, my love.” “Don’t call me that.” He tilted his head to you,not quiet catching what you said, “Hm?”

You couldn’t look at him in the eye before, but now you’re standing in front of him, hands placed on the glass table, your fiery gaze straight into his somber ones, “Don’t call me ‘my love’. Or Darling, or Love, or anything. You call me Chief Detective, you hear me?” Your voice was low and dangerous, yet George only smiled at your attempt of intimidating him.

“Now why should I do that?” He asked, and you gave him a cynical smile as you sat across him, “You have no reason not to.”

“Why, haven’t you changed,” George muttered slowly, a smile on his lips. You looked different, and he likes it. Not that he doesn’t like you before, but this version of you; it impressed him.

It excites him.

“Listen, Weasley,” You leaned forward, glancing at the shackles that held George’s hand on the table, “You’re in my house now. So you better start talking before I force words out of that deceitful mouth,” You said slowly, looking at him straight in the eye, smirking in amusement at his lack of fear.

“How funny,” He leaned forward as well, slightly shaking his cuffed hands to hear the rattle of the iron, a playful smile on his lips, “Was I not in your house this whole entire time?” His smirk widened at the clenched jaw you did, amused at how easy he had you wrapped around his finger.

“Keep talking like that and I’ll have your tongue strangling your own neck,” You spat, leaning back on the chair to get away from him for a moment. The man in front of you isn’t the George you knew. It’s not the real George. Or, it is the real George, only he fooled you all this time.

Only thinking about it made your heart boil.

George chuckled coldly, his chuckles echoed through the room. “I’d love to see you try,” His voice was delightful, yet there was something poisonous about it as he smiled at you, “I want to share that thrill with my wife too.”

“The thrill of what?” You asked, and George chuckled again, “Now, my love, you know I’m not as gullible as you think I am to fall for that. Nice try, though,” he winked. You sighed, getting irritated by his play of words, “Let’s cut off the bullshit now, shall we? Let’s start the investigation.”

He shrugged, “I gave you my word. Let’s start then.”

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes. No matter what you do, you can’t help but to feel flutters in your heart when he smiles, or call you ‘my love’. The flutters felt like knives, though.

“Lights out,” you suddenly said. George tilted his head, “What?” “Shut up, I wasn’t talking to you,” You quickly cut him, you faced the one way mirror, “Lights out.”

“You have 15 minutes before Lupin knows, so make it quick,” Zabini’s voice rang out from the speaker, and the lights went out. A while later, the emergency light was on, a red glow looms the entire room, giving the space an eerier vibe.

George looked at you curiously, “What is this, Y/N?” You sat silent. You hated it that you had to plan a secret mission with your team just to have time to talk to your husband. You need answers. No matter what.

So, it was no wonder that you looked up to him with your lips quivering and your eyes weak, “Why did you lie to me?” Baffled with your sudden change of demeanor, George furrowed his eyebrows, “Wha—” “I got Blaise to cut off the electricity here for a few minutes, so the surveillance camera won’t work,” You explained.

“Not even Blaise can hear us, so tell me,” you looked at him again, “Why did you lie to me?”

Watching the vulnerability in your expression, George’s smug facade faltered. He knew you like the back of his hand, you were telling the truth. Yet, George wasn’t stupid. He didn’t know how you act in your work, so he had to be cautious. He put up his wall again as he smirked, “But I didn’t. I didn’t lie about anything.”

His smirk washed off as you closed your eyes, “George, please…” He watched as you wiped away the tears welling in your eyes, this was the Y/N that he knew, the Y/N that he protected for the past 7 years from his truth.

George clenched his jaw, “What do you even want me to say, Y/N?” His voice now lacked the tinge of amusement, you realized he’s serious now. You looked at him, “What happened to you?”

“Whatever do you mean?” He said, and you gritted your teeth, “What happened to you, George? What caused you to be like this?” “This?” He repeated your words. He scoffed, “I’ve always been this, Y/N. I’m just good at hiding it from you and Rafa.”

“Don’t lie to me. You’ve been lying to me for 7 years straight, I deserve the truth,” You voiced out, and George shook his head, “No, you deserve to be away from me. The truth will only make you resent me more.”

“What fucking difference does it make now, George?! You lied to me! You hide yourself from me! Do you even love me?!” You were standing now, slamming your hands on the table. George clenched his jaw, fighting to stay silent.

“Tell me the truth! Do you even love me?!”

“You want the truth? Here is my truth,” he snarled, “I am that sick bastard you always talk about. I am The Mad Hatter!”

“Of course I fucking do!” He stood up abruptly, startling you. The handcuffs rattled more as he tried to yank his wrists away from the table. “If I don’t love you, then I would have drowned you that night we met! I wouldn’t have Rafael with you! I would have killed you!” His voice was loud and clear, yet his feelings inside couldn't exactly say the same thing.

George Weasley had lost control of his composure.

“No, no…” You muttered, shaking your head slowly, “But you’re an angel to me! You’re an angel to me and Rafa, George!” You said, desperation clinging onto your voice tightly.

“If I am one,” He breathed heavily, “If I am an angel, then let me rip off my wings and break apart my halo because I have killed!” He shouted, “And I don’t fucking resent it! Not one fucking bit.”

You were silent in shock from his outburst, while George huffed heavily. His heart was racing with adrenaline, but he hated this one. He looked at you who was still in shock, “Is that what an angel is to you?” he asked cynically.

“Someone that kills for the thrill? If I wanted to, I would have killed you that day you walked into the shop, Y/N,” he said. “But I’d rather kill someone else then kill you and Rafa,” He continued with a small voice. You furrowed your eyebrows, “What?”

You snapped out from your state of shock and began to shake your head in confusion, “What the fuck are you talking about, George? You mean to tell me that you killed 7 people because you didn’t want to kill us?”

“Yes, Y/N, that’s exactly what I meant,” He spat, looking at you with a snarl, “Who do you think killed my whole family except Fred?” George started to laugh maniacally, “And I’ve only spared him all this time because he’s my twin brother and I need a partner for my business.”

“You… You killed your family?” You breathed out, horrified. George looked at you and smiled eerily, “Who else?” His expression grimmed. “I’ve always been this, Y/N. A monster; who craves for the thrill of the kill, and the stench of blood, and the screams of pain and burn. That’s who I am, that’s who I truly am.”

“... I never understood love. Not even when I married you. But when Rafa came along, he taught me what love is. He taught me how to love. And when I realized I love you both, I realized that I loved my family too. But in the end,” He chuckled again, “I killed them,” He whispered dreamily.

There was a shadow of pain in his eyes, you could sense it. When he looked at you, you found the tenderness he always had in his eyes when he looked at you. For a moment, you wondered if he’s really saying the truth; about him being in love with you. Being in love with your family.

“You,” You watched him look away from you for a moment, pursing his lips, “You gave me a happy life. And I forgot what it’s like to kill. You made me into a new man,” He said slowly. There was silence for a while, it was only you and him, staring into each other. But something clicked inside him that caused him to look away.

He continued in a cold voice, “But I remembered what I did to my family. I remembered how I felt. I loved it, no matter how much guilt weighed on me for years. I loved seeing their terrified faces when I killed them slowly one by one. Mum, Dad, Bill, Charlie, Percy, Ron and, and little Ginny. They’re in my dreams every single day after that, haunting me, taunting me to kill you and Rafa next. Because that’s who I am,” He slowly shook his head, “But I don’t want to.”

His head turned to you, “I don’t want to kill you. I don’t want to kill Rafa. If I ever do, I— I—” He scoffed, his eyes wandering around the table wildly, “I don’t know if I can forgive myself for it.”

“For killing us?”

“No, for enjoying it,” George confessed. You let out a shaky breath, trying your best to digest it right. Looking at you being quite shaken by the truth, George smiled to himself, “This is also why I didn’t want to tell you the truth.”

“What?”

“You’re looking at me like a monster,” He said softly, lips etching that gentle smile you always adored. He sat back down on his seat, his hands playing with the metallic chain that held him down. “I’m not saying that I’m not one, I just feel better when you look at me with love because I’m your husband, not a sick bastard who kills for fun.”

“It feels nice not to be a monster sometimes.”

“George... “ You didn’t know what else to say, but his name. “T-then… Why did you target former sexual assaulters? A-and why would you record them?” You asked slowly.

George looked at you for a moment, blinked and he only smiled. That’s when you realized that he had put up his walls again. That George who had confessed his love to you, and had confessed his crimes to you was gone, this is The Mad Hatter now.

“I told you the truth, I answered your questions. I gave you my word, didn’t I?” He spoke, as if nothing happened a few minutes ago. You took a deep breath to recollect yourself again. You felt confused, angry, scared, and everything else.

But you’re also hurt.

“... But you did kill me, George.” Your words caused him to look up to you. You were looking down on your hands before standing up straight, sighing as you looked at him, “You hurt me, you lied to me, you deceived me, you played me like I’m no less than a rag doll. Even if you didn’t kill me physically, you killed me in there,” You pointed to his chest, slightly scoffing at the tears welling up your eyes.

And the lights went back up again.

You took a deep breath, pretending everything was fine. “Nott and Zabini will interrogate you. I’m off the case because of you, so I hope you can work with them, and tell them what you just told me,” You said nonchalantly, forcing the lump on your throat to swallow itself back down.

George chuckled, shaking his head, “Nah, I don’t think I will.” You furrowed your eyebrows, “What?”

At that moment, the door opened and someone came into the room, “This interrogation is over now that I'm here, please leave,” The man said coolly and you widened your eyes as you recognized him instantly as soon as he walked in the room, “... Fred?”

“Ah, brilliant.”

The glint of mischief in his eyes had returned, and you realized that the two brothers in front of you are up to no good.

“My lawyer’s here.”

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tennessoui · 3 years

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#18 Prompt: Ohio in Pre-Slash,16/17 year old Anakin has had a crush on his Master for awhile but knows/thinks Obi-Wan would never return his feels. He's almost completely given up and is think about maybe finding a substitute outlet. Then Obi-Wan gets amnesia while they are stranded on an uninhibited planet. Their Locator Beacon only giving off a general area. Obi-Wans amnesia leaves out the Code, and that he's Anakins teacher so the Boy calls him Master so he MUST be Obi-Wans pet/slave.

ahh so i could easily see this going dubcon and smutty and if i were better i might have gone that way too but instead i made some pining fluff but i hope you still like it!!

18. Waking Up With Amnesia (Hurt!Obi-Wan, underage!pining!Anakin, misunderstandings)

Anakin does his level best to land the ship gently, he really does. But he can’t work miracles here, and the locals had damaged their hull quite effectively when they had shot at them as they descended from atmo.

Friendly negotiations, yeah right. When Anakin gets his hands on these guys, he’s gonna show them exactly how friendly Anakin can be. But first he has to make the landing. And then he has to make sure his master is okay. Failure on either of these fronts is not an option.

His master had just gotten up to go to the back to grab their identification. They had been talking, seriously for once and without anger or impatience laced through their words--he’d said he was proud to have him as his padawan, that Anakin had grown into a young man anyone would be fortunate to know.

Anakin had turned to watch his master leave, his shields raised high but his eyes stripped bare. He’d be eighteen in two months. Somehow he’d made it through most of his time as a Padawan already. With his impending adulthood comes the realization that he has no more time for words of anger or scorn, not directed to his master at least. In a few years at most, Obi-Wan would be free of him by all Jedi rules and obligations.

Now more than ever he has to convince his master to want to keep him around. It’s a grueling task, made more difficult by how terribly difficult Anakin had been in the last, say, nine years. What with his pod-racing, his temper, his pride, his stubbornness--his huge and achingly obvious hero worship turned crush on the older Jedi.

But he can’t lose Obi-Wan, can’t even stand the idea of his master leaving him. The idea of missions alone while his master cavorts around the galaxy without hm--with another Padawan?--is absolutely intolerable. No. He has to convince the Jedi to want him as more than a Padawan. To want him as a friend, as a partner.

(In his wildest fantasies, as more than that, too.)

But now, as if the Force has heard his thoughts and is punishing him, the ship is crashing and his master has been hurt somewhere behind him but he can’t check without losing control of the vessel completely. He just has to--land--on this wide stretch--of karking sand.

It’s not his best landing, but they’re on the ground at least. The first thing he does is, of course, throw off his own landing protector and rush to Obi-Wan’s side, pulling his body out of the mangled remains of their ship and into the light and heat of outside. His master is unconscious, but he doesn’t seem to be bleeding terribly nor fatally. Now, and only now, he thanks the Force.

That’s when he notices the startling wet and spreading red across his master’s usually pristine robes.

Never mind, he tells the Force, fumbling with Obi-Wan’s belt in a panic. He needs to treat the wound, which means he needs to see it, which means he needs to get these outer robes off, as well as his master’s inner tunic.

“If I’m ever undressing you again, I swear to the Force you better be cognizant,” he mutters to himself as he rips at the fabric of the thin undershirt. “So many layers and not one of them protects you from debris, how is that fair?” He continues as he pushes Obi-Wan to the side far enough so he can see the man’s bare shoulder and the cut itself. It doesn’t look deep, at least, but it is long, spanning at least Anakin’s entire hand.

How much bacta do they have? Is their distress beacon working? Does Anakin want it to be working? Half of him thinks no, because what if the locals show up to finish them off? Half of him thinks yes, because he’d love to get his hands on the creatures responsible for Obi-Wan’s current state now.

It’s a very un-Jedi thought, but Anakin can’t even feel bad for it. He goes back into the wreckage of their ship--and he knows already he’s going to hear about this from the Council, as if anyone else could have done better--and grabs their first aid kit.

There’s bandages and bacta and that’s the important thing, he reminds himself. He’ll fix up the wound and then worry about why Obi-Wan hasn’t woken up yet.

But. Well. There’s not a great way to patch it up. The only thing he can think of is to give Obi-Wan’s form a solid thing to lean his head against while keeping his lower back pressed against the durasteel. It’s an awkward angle, but any other would result in Obi-Wan getting a face full of sand, and Anakin wouldn’t do that to his worst enemy, let alone his master.

Look. There’s no delicate way to put it. He straddles his lap and brings his head so it can rest on his chest as he works.

Of course this is when Obi-Wan begins to stir. Anakin tightens his hold on him and tries to send feelings of relief and calm through the Force. He needs Obi-Wan to not startle away from him until he finishes putting on the bacta. They can be embarrassed about this later. They’ll laugh about this later.

“You’re fine, Master,” Anakin murmurs at what he decides to take as a garbled word of confusion. “I crashed the ship, you can punish me later.”

Anakin can feel Obi-Wan’s signature spike around him, but he’s too intent on his task to figure out what specifically his master is feeling.

“What--” Obi-Wan mumbles, hand coming up to brace his head.

Anakin leans back as he finishes, tapping gently on Obi-Wan’s cheek until the man lifts his eyes to look at him. They’re dazed and confused.

“Master?” Anakin asks.

Obi-Wan’s brow furrows. “Master?”

Now Anakin’s getting very worried. “How many fingers am I holding up?” he demands.

Obi-Wan blinks. “You’re...not holding up any fingers,” he says, words becoming clearer the longer he talks. “I’m sorry

“Master,” he says slowly. “How are you feeling?” “Confused,” Obi-Wan says. “And...worried. And sick. Why are you calling me that?” “Calling you what, Master?”

“That. Master,” Obi-Wan looks sick just saying the word. Anakin scrambles up off his lap and kneels in the sand in front of him.

Panic clogs at his throat, making it even harder to force words out. “This isn’t a funny joke, Master.”

Now Obi-Wan looks distressed. “I’m not joking!” He looks wildly around and then clutches at his head in pain. “I don’t know who you are. Who I am. And I need you to stop calling me master because it’s making me feel sick to my stomach knowing that apparently I’m the kind of person who owns slaves because I know it’s wrong.”

Anakin blinks. It’s a lot to process. “You don’t remember?” is the first thing he says. He wants to say anything or anyone or perhaps the Jedi Order you’ve been a part of since you were a baby, but instead what comes out is, “Me?”

“I don’t remember myself, how am I supposed to remember you? Did you expect me to?”

Anakin stays quiet because well. Yeah. He hadn’t thought anything could really truly make his master forget him. Not time, not distance, not anything. Looking at Obi-Wan looking at him now without any sort of familiarity feels like all of his worst nightmares coming true.

His master glances down at his half-dressed state and then back to Anakin suspiciously.

It’s a harsh expression without the fond exasperation that usually hovers in the back of Obi-Wan’s eyes when he sees Anakin.

“What were you doing?” Obi-Wan asks him. “Why were you...touching me?”

“Nothing!” Anakin yelps, knowing that is the worst response he could have given. “I mean. I was tending to you, Master.”

He winces as soon as the words are out of his mouth. Ah, kark.

“Don’t call me that,” Obi-Wan snaps, looking furious. Anakin wants to explain that he can’t not, that Master is as much as Obi-Wan’s name to him as Padawan is Anakin’s. “You mean to say I’m such a terrible person that I don’t just own a slave but a pleasure slave?”

Anakin thinks he must be blushing to the roots of his hair. “No!” he yells, much louder than he intends. “No, you don’t own me, M--Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan mouths his name as if it’s a new word. Anakin is about to break into hysterical laughter.

“I’m your apprentice,” Anakin forges ahead. “We use Master as a term of respect for our teachers.” He adds, “I was tending to your wound,” just so Obi-Wan doesn’t next think that Anakin was trying to take advantage of him or something. There’s only so many misconceptions he can deal with in one sitting, especially with the amount of panic that’s raging through his brain.

Obi-Wan looks achingly hopeful. Anakin supposes that without the memory of years of emotional suppression training, he’ll be able to see what his master is feeling more easily. He wonders if he could get Obi-Wan to laugh or smile. He’d kill for one unbridled grin from the other man, although there’s nothing joyful about the situation they’re in right now.

“You’re the best man I know, Obi-Wan,” Anakin tells him softly. “I know you don’t remember right now, but I promise you’d never do that to someone. You’re good. And honest and brave and kind and…” he trails off and looks away, crossing his arms over his chest as he’s hit with the reminder of everything he stands to lose if Obi-Wan’s memory loss can’t be undone. “We’ll get this fixed. It’s just temporary. I won’t let it be permanent.” He says the last part fiercely and mostly to himself. “I won’t.”

Obi-Wan smiles, just slightly and reaches out a hand. Perhaps his need to comfort a distressed Anakin is simply instinctive. “I believe you,” he whispers back. “I trust you.”

Anakin beams. And then he thinks of something else. For a second, he wonders about whether or not he should ask the question that’s burning up his mind, but he needs to know now that he’s asked himself. “Ma--Obi-Wan, why did you think that I was. Um. A pleasure slave?”

Obi-Wan’s blush is a thing of wonder. It could single-handedly keep them both warm on Hoth itself.

“Because of how we were positioned when we woke up,” Obi-Wan mumbles, burying his face in his hands. “And because you look like that.” The last part is said from behind his fingers.

Some sort of unfamiliar fire lights itself in Anakin’s stomach. “I look like what?” he prompts, barely daring to breathe.

But this Obi-Wan must not remember why he shouldn’t always be straightforward with the truth, especially to Anakin who he’s said he trusts.

(Obi-Wan trusts him!)

“Beautiful,” Obi-Wan says, so hushed and embarrassed that Anakin almost can’t hear it over the sound of his heart beating.

Inappropriately for their current situation, Anakin wants to crow in victory as the flame inside him grows larger.

Obi-Wan trusts him. At least on some level. Instinctively. And a part of him, stripped of his Jedi code and teachings and lifestyle, thinks that Anakin is beautiful.

He puts a name to the burning in his chest. It’s hope.

#ah no not rereading this to even in proofread #its nap time #asks #my fics #obikin #(preslash obikin)#prompt fill

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quercussp · 4 years

Text

Inside

Rating: M

Word count: 1.7k

Summary: Even though both Dan and Phil spent most of their time indoors, being forced to stay inside during self isolation has started getting to them both.

Authors note: Written for @phanworkschallenge.

Giant thank you to @dayevsphil and @insectbah for betaing!

Warnings: there is a very minor mention of a character accusing another character of using sex as a tool for emotional manipulation. It's very minor, and no actual manipulation takes place, it's said out of anger and is totally resolved. But just in case I thought I would mention it.

[read on ao3]

There were only so many blowjobs a man could endure in a day. And if anyone snorted in disbelief and said that there was no such thing as too many blowjobs, Phil would just remind them that they couldn’t judge because they had not had the experience of Dan Howell going down on them 7 times in one day.

Even though both Dan and Phil spent most of their time indoors, being forced to stay inside during self isolation had started getting to them both. However, Phil was able to manage that by staying busy filming, chatting with his family over Skype every 3 or 4 days, and playing endless Animal Crossing.

Dan, on the other hand, was going a little crazy by this point. Phil knew that Dan’s brain was a little trickier to settle down; Dan had a difficult relationship with productivity and self worth, but also Dan relied on his routines to keep his depression at bay. He had a standing appointment with his therapist once a week. He would do his morning runs and go to the gym three times a week. He would schedule a lunch or afternoon tea with a friend every now and then. All those things were necessary to keep the darkness away, and when all of those things had to be indefinitely postponed, Dan turned to his other coping mechanisms. Which brings us back to the issue of sex.

Dan and Phil had always had a very healthy sex life. Sex was an important communication method for them, and they both genuinely enjoyed it. But for Dan, sex was also a method of escaping reality, something to quiet his mind, and being cooped up for so long, along with the existential dread and anxiety, had transformed Dan into a horny teenager that Phil just could not keep up with.

“Come on Phil, I’ll make it so good for you!”

Dan was currently sitting in Phil’s lap, wearing only a t-shirt, and placing wet kisses on Phil’s neck. Normally, this would have been a very welcome sight, but it was only 3 pm and this was literally the 4th time today that Dan had tried to fuck him and Phil’s dick was just not having it. Neither was Phil.

“Dan, come on, give me at least another couple hours!” Phil tried to gently push Dan away, but Dan just kept grinding down on Phil’s lap, rubbing his hard dick against Phil’s clothed crotch.

“Phil…” Dan whispered in his best seductive voice, “What are we, eighty? Let’s go again, since when have you ever been against getting your dick sucked? You don’t even have to do anything; I’ll do it myself, just lie back and enjoy!”

One of the problems with Dan in this type of mood was that it wasn’t really about Dan getting an orgasm. That, Phil could do. Giving Dan a quick hand job or quickly going down on him, Phil could handle that. But Dan in this type of mood was only satisfied if Phil enjoyed himself. And by “enjoy,” he meant that Phil had to have a mind shattering orgasm every time, or it didn’t count. Dan treated this type of “coping” sex like a mission, and his own pleasure came secondarily. He got off on making Phil feel good, making him fall apart and lose control.

On a particularly chatty and intimate night after a couple glasses of wine Dan had explained to Phil that the sex was not only to have a physical pleasurable sensation, but more to remind himself that he, Dan, could bring pleasure to his partner. That it made him feel like he was worthy and accomplished, that it silenced that little voice in his head telling him he's worthless, all things that were difficult to maintain while on quarantine. And of course Phil wished Dan knew that he was worthy and wonderful and perfect without that, but brains were often not cooperative, and Dan’s brain in particular sometimes had a hard time seeing himself objectively.

“Dan, come on, have mercy!” Phil tried to stop Dan jokingly. “I’m not 18 anymore, I need some recovery time!”

“Is that a challenge, Philly?” Dan mumbled into Phil’s neck, his hands snaking down and slipping into Phil’s pajama bottoms.

“No, Dan, it’s not a challenge; I’m serious.”

The change in Phil’s voice must have startled Dan, because he sat up and looked at Phil with surprise.

“You really don’t want to?” he asked after a bit of a pause. Phil could tell that he was trying to sound casual, but the little notes of Dan being hurt were obvious to someone who knew him so well.

“Dan,” Phil brushed his hands through Dan’s sweaty curls and gave him a peck on the cheek, trying to stay calm. “Dan, come on. I am just really not up to it right now, ok?”

Phil could almost see the thoughts starting to spiral in Dan’s eyes. That Phil didn’t want him. That he was not attractive. That Phil was bored of him.

Usually Phil had the presence of mind to remind himself that these doubts Dan would sometimes have weren’t rational thoughts. That it wasn’t the real Dan doubting their relationship. That there were demons in Dan’s head that he couldn’t fight but just had to do his best to calm down. Usually it made him want to do everything in his power to make Dan feel good again. Usually.

But right now was not normal and Phil was tired of it. He was on edge, he was anxious, he was cooped up indoors, and he was just tired. He wanted to put on his earphones and play Animal Crossing for 5 hours and escape the world they were living in. So when Dan looked at Phil like a hurt puppy, Phil lost his temper a little bit.

“Dan, this isn’t about you okay? You know this. What do you want me to do, have sex with you just to prove that I love you? Do I not prove it enough?”

That was a low blow and Phil knew it. The moment he said it out loud he regretted it, but the damage was done.

Dan stood up, his hands pulling on the edge of his t-shirt as though to cover himself up. His face was white and his eyes were shining with what looked suspiciously like tears. He walked towards the door, turning his head before leaving, as though waiting for Phil to say something.

Phil didn't know what to say so he remained silent.

When Dan closed the door behind him, Phil angrily put his earphones in and turned up the volume. He knew they needed to talk. He knew that not talking it through with Dan was going to be hard for him, that Dan needed to solve conflicts as soon as possible. But right now, Phil was just not up to it.

***

By the time Phil exited out of the game, the sun had set and the living room was lit only by the screen of the TV and the lamps outside. He put down his headphones and stood up, stretching his legs and popping his shoulders.

He walked through the dark, quiet house to the kitchen and got himself a glass of water. Then he got the cereal out of the cupboard and slowly crunched on it while looking at the window. Putting away the box and rinsing the glass, he slowly walked up to the closed door of the bedroom and lightly knocked.

“Hm..?” came a muffled response and Phil took it as a yes.

The bedroom was mostly dark, with only the screen of Dan’s laptop illuminating his face. Dan was sitting in bed, covered in blankets, looking at his screen. Phil waited for a second for him to look up, but Dan seemed to avoid meeting his eyes.

Phil climbed into bed next to Dan and carefully took the laptop out of his hands and put it on the table.

"Come here." He put his arms around Dan and pulled him to his chest. Dan’s body melted into Phil and his head rested down on the crook of Phil’s neck in a practiced motion. Sometimes Phil wondered if they were made to fit so well together, or if it was the years that made them connect seamlessly like jigsaw puzzle pieces.

“I’m sorry for using you as a stress relief sex toy,” Dan mumbled into Phil’s neck and they both giggled.

“You know I don’t mind, Dan. Sex with you is literally the best thing. It’s just that there’s only so much my dick can take. I’m sorry for implying that you make me do something I don’t want, I’m just tired.”

Dan looked up to him and in the darkness of the bedroom Phil could almost feel Dan’s sadness.

“I just want things to be normal again,” Dan whispered.

“So do I, baby.” Phil pressed their foreheads together. “I miss doing things.”

“I miss going out on dates,” Dan mumbled.

“I miss mum,” Phil replied.

“I miss your mum too,” Dan smiled. Phil pulled him closer.

“I miss going to the cinema.”

“I fucking miss Starbucks,” said Dan.

“I miss Martyn and Corn.”

“I miss buying you flowers,” Dan whispered almost as though it was a secret.

“You’re a sap,” Phil chuckled.

“Shut up. I’m romantic.” Dan paused for a minute. “I love you, you know?”

“Of course I do, you idiot.”

“And I know you love me. I really do,” Dan continued.

“I know that too. It’s gonna be okay.” For some reason Phil felt like crying. Maybe he could get away with it. In the dark no one would know.

“Can we have sex now?” he asked. “My dick has rested plenty,”

The ‘I’m sorry it’s hard’ and the ‘let me love you’ and the ‘let me show you how much I adore you’ was left unsaid, but Phil knew Dan heard it.

“Well, Phil, while you were sulking upstairs I wanked like 4 times, so I don’t think I can get it up right now.”

Phil chuckled. “Is that a challenge?”

Dan placed a wet kiss on Phil’s lips and snaked his hand to squeeze Phil’s butt.

“I believe it is, Mr. Lester.”

“Bet you pizza that I’ll get you hard as rock in 10 minutes so you can fuck me,” said Phil, pressing kisses to the spot on Dan’s neck he knew would drive him crazy.

“Aren’t you cocky,” replied Dan, pulling Phil’s shirt off of him and nipping his ear.

#phan #phanfiction #my fic

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geeky-introvert · 4 years

Text

She's a Super Freak . Modern Ubbe X OC

Summary: Even after dating for a while Ubbe and Zoe have been having problems, fighting and arguing over little things, and they’re both stressing over it. So Ubbe goes to seek comfort...One-shot.

Authors note: This is from @hecohansen31 writing prompt list challenge using “I am a bad person trying very hard to be a good person.” from ‘The Raven King’ by Nora Sakavic. Modern relationship drama, as usual. Enjoy!

Word count: 1552

Warning: Relationship problems.

Tag list: @lisinfleur @mdlady @didiintheblog @alicedopey @rekdreams247 @mblaqgi @oddsnendsfanfics @aphnxrising @happydaysandersen @therealcalicali @naaladareia @inforapound @captstefanbrandt @waiting4inspiration @tabalugax @p8tn0lish @igetcarriedawaywithyou @laketaj24 @darlingp @tephi101 @youbloodymadgenius @lordsexmachine @wonderlandofsu @alwaysbenhardysgirl @sparklemichele @hecohansen31 @readsalot73 @narry28

If anyone else wants to be added to the tag list let me know please.

“You look tired Ubbe.” Margrethe broke the silence as she sat across from Ubbe at the table while sitting beside Hvitserk with his arm wrapped around her shoulder.

“Hm.” Ubbe grunted softly, turning the spoon in his coffee over again.

It was another fight with his long term girlfriend, Zoe. He loved her, but lately he had become tired of all the constant fighting between them over little things, but mostly over how distant he’s been over the last months. He’ll silently admit that he had been, even since Margrethe moved back to town and started dating Hvitserk.

There was history there between Ubbe and Margrethe, and they had been spending a lot of time together, which Zoe didn’t like. But it wasn’t like he could just stop seeing her since she was with his brother now, and he wasn’t about to stop seeing him either.

“Zoe draining you again?” Hvitserk bluntly asked with a mouth full of food. “That woman is screwing your head loose. Why do you stay with her?”

“Because I love her, idiot.” Ubbe said back followed by the sigh. “Things are just bumpy right now, they’ll settle soon.” Least this is what he hoped for.

“She’s a controlling freak.” Hvitserk never liked her because she was way above Margrethe with better education, more spunk but mostly because she rejected him before dating Ubbe.

Margrethe nodded. “He’s right. She doesn’t deserve you.” Her hand came out across the table to touch Ubbe’s. “You’re suffering, she treats you like shit, you should end things with her, it’s for the best.”

He stared at her hand, touching his for a bit before moving it away under the table while clearing his throat a bit. “Listen Hvitserk, I didn’t ask for you to come here to talk about my problems, I just needed to see my brother and clear my head.” It wasn’t like he invited Margrethe, she came on her own.

Suddenly there was loud smashing outside followed by a car alarm going off getting their attention and everyone in the cafe. It came from Ubbe’s car, and there was Zoe who just smashed one of his windows with a rock before storming over to the cafe window and flipping them all off against the glass.

“Fuck the lot of you!” She yelled before storming off down the path.

“Shit!” Ubbe hurried out of his seat as Hvitserk tried to stop him.

“See?! She’s a fucking crazy freak!” But his words were ignored as Ubbe ran out to follow her not even caring about his car.

Zoe didn’t expect to find Ubbe, even more with his brother and ex girlfriend. She only wanted to get herself a slice of cake when she spotted them, even worse at the moment Margrethe, that slut dared to touch Ubbe’s hand. She lost it and took her anger out on Ubbe’s car.

“Zoe!” She heard Ubbe’s voice but didn’t stop. “Zoe! Please, stop and listen!”

“Why is it that you’re always with her?!” She shouted as she stopped and turned around to face him, angry tears beaming in her eyes. “Why must she be around you always?! Fuck sake, Ubbe! Don’t you see that she’s panting after you?!”

“It’s not what it looks like! Fuck!” Ubbe was so tired of all this. “I only wanted to see Hvitserk, she invited herself.”

“Like that makes me feel any better, I know Hvitserk fucking hates me. I’m not dumb I see that way both him and the slut look at me! You’re family all fucking hate me like I’m the problem!” Maybe she was, but she still hated it.

“They don’t hate you and don’t call her that.” This got her quiet as he said this making me scoff softly.

“So it’s fine for them to call me a freak? You never defend me, you're always defending her, or your brothers, but never me!”

Perhaps that was true, but she was so strong willed he never really thought that she needed defending. He was well aware that she could take care of herself.

At this point he didn’t even care about his car, he only cared about her.

“I love you, but this isn’t healthy for our relationship. We’re always fighting and I don’t know what to do anymore to fix things.” Ubbe admitted looking defeated. “Maybe...maybe we need a break from us.” There he said it and there was no taking it back.

Zoe’s anger was suddenly gone which turned into an emotion mixed with shock and sadness. It wasn’t something she expected for him to say, yet she heard it. Slowly her face became neutral and gave a soft nod.

“Alright. Perhaps it’s for the best.”

“Zoe…” Ubbe tried to have her stay but she was already walking away from him. Both were hurt now, no better than what they were feeling before. There was nothing else for him to do other than turn away in the other direction, both left heart broken.

What a fucking mess.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

It was weeks since Zoe last heard from Ubbe. She didn’t try to make contact with him, thinking it was for the best but that didn’t help with her still aching chest since that night he said they needed a break, a fancy way of saying they were broken up she thought.

During this time she tried to focus on herself, to heal, to do what she wanted but kept it casual. However it was last weekend that she got an anonymous message filled with photos of what looked like a wild night of Ubbe and his brothers. She wouldn’t have cared but when she saw the photo of Ubbe and Margrethe kissing is when she just didn’t give a fuck anymore and drank two bottles of wine to herself. After this she called up her ex boyfriend who was more than happy to come over and it was a night of simply zero fucks, well, they fucked, but you get the idea.

Zoe didn’t know who sent her those photos but can only imagine it was either Hvitserk or Margrethe, she didn’t really want to know and tried to forget about it all thinking it was all over between her and Ubbe for good. But this changed when he messaged her finally, asking if he could come over to her place so that could talk.

She agreed, wanting to talk to him and figure out all this shit. When he came she invited him inside and offered him a drink before sitting at the table. The silence lingered between them for what felt like hours but was really minutes perhaps.

“I miss you.” Ubbe suddenly said, bringing her out of her thoughts.

“I miss you too.” She really did.

“So...what should we do?”

“I don’t know.” Like she knew.This made him sigh softly.

“Listen, I know I’m not perfect. I am a bad person trying very hard to be a good person. I want us to be together because I love you, I don’t want to lose you. I’ll do whatever it takes for us to get back together.”

“You’re not a bad person, Ubbe.” She sighed before getting out her phone and bringing up the photos for him to see, even more the one of him and Margrethe kissing. “But if you want us to work then you two can’t hang out anymore without me. She’s your ex and obviously can’t forget about you. Also your brothers need to start treating me fairly. I never talk shit about them, it’s time they did the same.”

Ubbe looked very guilty and pissed as he looked at the photos, cursing under his breath that she had seen this.

“I don’t know who sent me these photos and I don’t care. After I saw them I got pretty drunk and called up my ex. We fucked, but it was just the one time. I don’t want to know if anything else happened between you and Margrethe that night. All I know is that we’re both not perfect, we’re bad people and make mistakes. I want our relationship to be fair, no favourites, I just want us to be all equals.” A fair relationship she thought.

Ubbe looked a little taken back as she said all this, probably mostly about her hooking up with her ex. It looked like he wanted to say so much more but knew talking about it wouldn’t fix much, but cause more fighting between them which he wanted to prevent. A lot happened that night, things he regretted and wanted to forget.

“Alright.” He answered with a nod. “I’ll talk to my brothers, and perhaps you could be there as well. After all, you hold yourself well. Do you feel like rubbing it in their faces?”

This caused her to smirk softly. “Yeah, I kinda do. And sorry about your car.”

“Honestly, it was kinda hot seeing you taking out your anger like that.” Zoe giggled more as he said this to her, the answers she didn’t expect from him.

“Yeah? Anything else you want me to destroy to give you a boner?”

“How about we kiss first?”

Coming around the table she straddled his lap and kissed him tenderly while her hands roamed over his shoulders and the back of his neck. Breaking from the kiss she smirked softly seeing him trying to lean more forward to try and not lose the kiss from her.

“Will you stay the night with me? We can order take out and watch netflix?”

“Sounds perfect.”

#vikings #ubbe lothbrok #ubbe imagine #ubbe x reader #ubbe x oc #past ubbe x margrethe #modern #arguing #relationship problems #on a break #fandom #fanfiction

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ailuronymy · 4 years

Text

Book Club: Tallstar’s Revenge, chpt. 28-36 overview.

A definitive diagnosis, courtesy of two famed armchair psychiatrists:

“Basically, this cat needs CBT.” -- S.

“YEP.” -- K.

This week we’re discussing this chapter through these nine questions. Please feel welcome to do the same and @ailuronymy + use the tag #ailuronymy writing challenge. Don’t forget: next time is the last section, but it’s never too late to jump on board if you want to! Happy reading and I’m looking forward to seeing your feelings about this book.

1. First impressions?

K. Exhausting to read - like, genuinely, it was a slog. Jake is the only light in all of this badness, and even then. S. Bad! We've hit Bluestar's Prophecy level and I don't see things turning around. Regrettable.

2. How did you feel reading this section?

S. Hm. I would say one-part anger, to two-parts bored, with a dash of Love Jake. K. I'd say betrayed if I didn't fully expect this kind of pedantic shit from the Erins already. But like... yeah. I somehow didn't think it could get worse, and yet.

3. What chapter did you find most interesting/moving/effective, and why?

S. The one with Jake and Talltail inside the house as Jake tries to explain things to Talltail and convince him that to get what he wants he has to not be a jerk. K. Chapter Thirty-One was fun just to see Jake/Talltail hijinks in play. Everything else was mind-numbing.

4. What chapter did you find least interesting/effective/most frustrating, and why?

S. Uhhh, all of them but especially the huge chunks of description while he was travelling and running around doing whatever the hell. In every way but physically, I was asleep. K. Yeah, same. The first chapter of this section has everything I hate: swaths of dry, meaningless descriptions, Shadowclan being vaguely mean, and Sandgorse Coming Back To Menace Me Personally. All bad.

5. Is there a passage that stuck in your mind–for good, or not-so-good reasons? What is it, and why did it stand out? Try breaking it down and analysing what this passage does and how.

S. For me, it was a specific line: “I just say yes to everything, he likes that” -- I LOVE Jake. S. It was so cute, and it captured such a nice relationship between Jake and his person. It also reminded me a lot of talking with the old boy, because probably we're just saying, "that's really interesting" to each other back and forth.

K. I agree. The line just before that is: “He is like kin,” Jake snapped back. “I’ve known him my whole life. He makes sure I’m warm and fed. And I sit with him and keep him company when he’s alone. We talk to each other.” K. It's just? Sweet?? K. Like, there's SO MUCH hate on Twolegs in Warriors for some level of understandable reasoning, but it felt so good to see Jake actively defending his owner's role in his life.

S. Yeah, I was like, okay Erin Hunter, so sometimes you get it. And then they turn around and go straight back to self-wedgietown and I'm like, really. S. On that note: S. I guess for not-good reasons, it has to be the kitty litter scene. S. Erin Hunter wins the gold in the "what the fuck are you doing" event, yet again.

6. The story has taken a major shift in setting and location. Do you like this new space more, or do you miss the clan? Why do you think you feel this way?

K. Bad! I want to be back with the Clans, please! It was terrible there but at least it wasn't whatever the fuck is happening here! K. That said, I did enjoy the house scenes. Just as a treat.

S. I was very curious to see how they were going to explore the outer world, but it was a huge let down. They either drowned it in empty, boring description, or just kind of overlooked it. They didn't go for the nice medium of interesting vignettes the way I (foolishly) had hoped for. S. More for me, I guess.

7. Last week we talked about what lessons we could learn from the text. This week, think about what lesson you would most want to teach Talltail at this junction in his life. What advice does he most need to hear?

K. PLEASE STOP BEING THE WORST K. But for real: hm. I guess like. You need to learn to let go of shit, my man. Sometimes bad things happen and you have to put them aside or else those feelings take over your life.

S. Yeah, I'm thinking along the same lines. I think Talltail really needs to learn how to separate his thoughts from his self, because he's clearly very invested in the narrative he's telling himself. He's had a history of negative self-view (encouraged by his environment) and it's going to be really beneficial for him to practice genuine mindfulness and recognise that a feeling is a feeling, not a command to be followed. A thought isn't you, it's a thought. You're allowed to have both--in fact, can't stop yourself from having both--but you don't have to believe in them or be controlled by them. S. What's motivating him is guilt, which often comes from shame and feelings of powerlessness. He's trying to take control and he feels this narrative he's telling himself is the solution. S. So my advice would be basically that: you're not your thoughts or your feelings. Those just happen to you. Imagine them like weather, always changing, coming and going. S. And when you practice that enough, you'll become aware of how constructed it all is. You'll realise when you're acting through your emotions without being aware of them. For example, like this whole quest.

K. Oh, also as an add-on: obviously a lot of self-care and putting yourself on the path towards bettering yourself comes from choices only you can make, but listening to your support system and truly hearing what they have to say is also important! K. Talltail has had a lot of people around him trying to vouch for better options he could take to better himself, offering to listen and support him, and he's been too in his emotions or too angry to listen to them.

S. Basically, this cat needs CBT.

K. YEP.

S. I'd also like to offer advice to Jake. S. I want to tell him that he's right to stand up for himself. I want him to know that if someone he likes denigrates him or mocks him or views him as inferior, they are not being a good friend or partner and he deserves to have someone who builds him up, supports him, and respects him. S. That feels important to me, given how fast he seems to have fallen for someone behaving so poorly towards him. S. Like, not to be meta, but that's a Big issue in queer community in the real world.

K. It's true! K. People get so desparate for connection that it's easy to let a lot of red flags go unnoticed for the sake of keeping something going.

S. Queer folk believing that they're unlovable, so they settle for anyone who gives them attention or insinuates that maybe they're okay. Queer folk feels so desperately, deeply isolated and lonely, that they decide to get with someone inappropriate or even toxic because they're terrified that they'll never find anyone else, that it's their only chance at finding a romantic partner. S. Exactly. I want Jake to know that he's loveable and valuable, and that having high standards and expectations and healthy boundaries for a partner and romantic relationship is good and important for finding the right relationship and achieving the kind of happiness he's looking for.

8. Think back over the book so far (including this section). Out of all the characters, who do you relate to the most? Is this because the character is similar to you in personality, or because their experiences are familiar to you–or a bit of both?

K. In its own way, I think I can find aspects of Tallpaw relatable. Wanting to direct your anger at people over things you can't change or take back is something that's pretty human. K. But on the flipside: I would like to think that I could relate to someone like Dawnstripe, too? In being able to look back on those moments with an adult's perspective and be able to go "Hey, listen, I've got your back, but also: have some advice that you really need to hear."

S. Same hat! S. I was also going to say Dawnstripe. Out of all the characters, I relate most to her--probably because she's a teacher! I also got wildly mad at that stunt Sandgorse pulled with the tunnel, and Shrewpaw in that fight, so I feel like Dawnstripe is definitely a character that speaks to my experience of this book. S. We can make our first Book Club merch: we are all Dawnstripe.

K. YES. I’m okay with this. K. The back of the shirt says "heatherstar please call me back" in tiny font.

S. GOD. Iconic.

9. We’re on the second last section of this novel. Next week, we read the end! But before we get there, what do you think will happen? If you’ve already read this novel before, use this space to write what you remember feeling at the end last time–did you feel happy, sad, disappointed, angry? Do you think you’ll feel differently this time?

K. Sandgorse is going to personally come into my home and destroy me on the spot with bad characterization, and that's a threat from Erin Hunter herself.

S. Yeah, you were very right when you predicted that he'd be giving Tallstar one of his lives, I think.

K. Talltail hasn't even had an apprentice yet! We're just gonna fast-track his entire warrior-hood and go straight to leadership once he gets back to Windclan, I think.

S. Yep! Just like they did for Bluestar. S. Everyone knows being a deputy is a boring, worthless job and the only thing that matters is being leader.

K. Sigh.

S. Obviously, Talltail isn't going to kill Sparrow, and Jake and Talltail will have some kind of sad goodbye, and then Talltail will go back to Windclan like, "sorry I left, I had a crisis."

K. Yeah, and they'll all go "Oh hey dude, thanks for showing back up, we weren't too worried"

S. "We barely noticed you were gone." [zoom in to Talltail's dead eyes as he looks at the camera] S. Also, what's the bet that they're going to manifest some drama over Talltail with Reena and Jake?

K. Oh, I'd say the chances of that are relatively high. K. It'll happen for like 1.5 chapters. K. And then be ignored.

S. Like, what's the bet they're going to try to shove a heterosexual plot in there and have Reena be all over him and mad that Jake's even there?

K. Yep yep yep. K. And then Talltail will snap out of it to brood more.

S. Which is going to be wild given that the last time Reena saw Talltail, he was a huge prick. S. But she's a woman, he's a man, can Erin Hunter make it any more obvious?

Final notes:

K. Please. Unleash thy rage. S. From my notes: S. "Erin Hunter is fucking wild, we don’t NEED the level of realism “taking a dump in front of my soon-to-be boyfriend,” holy fuck, great first date, you fucking crazy people" K. IT'S BAD!!!!!!!! IT'S SO BAD!!!!!!!!!! S. I literally had to stop reading to laugh for a full minute. S. I was like, you've got to be kidding me, you've got to be kidding me. Just a desperate chant. S. But they were not kidding me! S. And what makes it so egregious is that it's in such fucking detail. S. If this was Watership Down, a scene would not be ruined by: "He passed hraka by some ragwort before hopping over to him. "All right," said Pine. "What do you need?"" Like, it's not disruptive and doesn't ping to change the tone or like, emotional calibre of the story. S. Jake giving Talltail step-by-step instructions on how to relieve himself while watching was absolutely way off.

K. I am taking a fucking screenshot because look at this. Look at how horrendous this looks. This is the visual, writing equivalent of staring at a desert wasteland full of nothing. K. [screenshot of several pages of description] K. Pictured above: NOTHING IS FUCKING HAPPENING S. I KNOW S. It was just barren expanses of running around that did nothing, achieved nothing, moved the story forward no amount. K. It is just. So monotonous. It's dry, and boring, and it feels so lifeless. K. It's the equivalent of fucking... fourth grade bullshit. "Talltail walked to the log. He jumped on it and used it to cross the river. He leaped off and continued on through the grass. Then he saw a moth." S. But yeah, it was unbearable. My eyes glazed over and I skimmed just about all of it. S. Other notes: S. “I’m just skimming all this description, I don’t care, I’ve got teacher-brain on and all I’m thinking is, this could have been summary [...] and there’s so much description again, it’s just not interesting! I don’t know why people think “action” is interesting. It’s barely interesting for more than two minutes in an action FILM, why do you think a book is going to be somehow more successful at being an impressive spectacle than a film, my god, learn your goddamn medium”

K. SANDGORSE STAY DEAD 2K20 S. Note: "I fucking hate this bullshit ghost of Sandgorse thing. I can’t believe they killed off the character I loathed just to bring him back for reasons of cryptic bullshit" K. The fact that his ghost keeps fucking showing up is killing ME K. ESPECIALLY because he's gonna come back like "Son...... this is not the way...... Im proud of you.........." K. And Talltail will go "oh shit oh fuck you're right" S. "Daddy loved me all along. It's my fault for not realising that.” S. Literally all I can think about when Sandgorse shows up in these chapters is that bit in Twilight where Edward Cullen's force ghost or whatever is like, lie.

S. Because of how Talltail's behaving, I actually really do not vibe Jake and Talltail's relationship at all. K. Oh?? Go off, my good bitch. S. It pings badly for me that Jake meets this guy, who's an arsehole, and then he helps this guy, who's still being a racist dick. Then he gets feelings about this guy in a really short period of time, despite minimal changes in his behaviour towards him. K. Oh boy, yeah, that's all true. S. Not to be like Twilight again about it but like: this is not a great start to a relationship. This is actually a red flag. Someone who doesn't respect you and is just a prick and is using you as a means to an end, is not someone you should be attracted to. The fact that Jake is says something about how he's doing emotionally, and it really conflicts for me that someone with such a certain sense of self and value would find Talltail even remotely attractive. I don't believe it.

K. Jake’s superpower is just Being Kind & Having Reasonable Thoughts. “Aren’t you tired of going ape shit, Talltail? Don’t you just wanna be nice?” S. God, you're so right. S. I am super looking forward to writing Jake and Talltail's Hot Girl Summer, though. K. Which like, if Talltail had better things to be frustrated about, I would love Jake to fill his role of like... the complimentary half to Talltail, in that regard. K. Talltail is just SO in his head about EVERYTHING and Jake is just living in the moment! S. He’s vibing! K. Lmao also from the notes: Jake shifted his paws. “I know I’m a kittypet. I’m happy with that.” He began to head down the slope that led into the valley. “It doesn’t mean I can’t walk a different path for a while.” — Talltail, recently shoved back into the closet, randomly befriending a comfortably out bisexual otter… who’d have thought S. Canon Talltail is a hot mess and that's Erin's fault, but these two are good. K. more highlights: The hunting scene… sharing together… “Only if it’s offered.” “I’m offering.” How the fuck did the Erins stumble into speaking in tongues and the translation coming out as Gay Rights S. "It's rotten work." "Not if I'M OFFERING." K. Talltail’s mew trailed away. He didn’t want Jake to go. He searched the kittypet’s green gaze. “You don’t have to come.” “I want to!” Jake shifted his paws, adding quietly, “If you don’t mind, that is.” Talltail glanced at the ground, feeling hot. “I don’t mind,” he murmured. “It’s good to have company.” — LIKE THEY REALLY ARE JUST LIKE THIS K. Oh man I have some other good notes: I can’t believe that Talltail is SO edgy and in his feelings that he can’t even stomach simulated affection to this random human. “Pretend it’s a tree” DUDE just let yourself GO, release your inhibitions K. God can you just imagine K. Talltail finding Jake who gets him to calm down by getting so fucking cat high S. Just like, "here dude fucking chew this plant and maybe you’ll calm down." K. Talltail: I want revenge :'( Jake: bro. shut up and eat this leaf

K. “Please can I go outside?” he mewed in his most plaintive voice.” — Talltail just sounds like a sad little Victorian orphan. I can’t believe all the Miette goofs are canon and real. You kick Talltail like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Starclan! Jail for Starclan for one-thousand years! S. I know. I was losing it that we basically predicted the whole scene with Jake and his person. S. "I taught him how to say food but he's very bad at it." S. That was probably the most enjoyable moment in the entire section for me. S. Makes you really wonder why the fuck pet cats have human-given names, though. K. FUCK IT DIDN'T EVEN HIT ME THAT UHHH K. THAT'S WACK HUH ISNT IT S. It's so wack.

K. I want us to just break something down for a hot moment S. I love to break it down with you. K. Talltail's plan is... bad S. Oh, it's dumb as hell. K. Like I'm imagining all of this from Sparrow's perspective K. Like it's one of those podcast horror stories S. I have that note too: this dude has no idea. K. "So one summer I accidentally got into a bad accident, and the guy I was with didn't make it out. His kid is really broken up about it and is pretty pissed at me, and straight up ignores me or glares at me the rest of the summer. Fast forward a few months and suddenly he shows up again out of the blue, and now says he wants to stay with me and my family. Says he's changed and that he wants to spend more time with us. THEN HE PLANS MY MURDER" S. It's really funny to imagine Talltail staring into the distance like, "my nemesis, you killed my father, prepare to die." And then smash cut to a completely oblivious Sparrow like, taking a nap. Having a snack with his friends. Smelling a flower.

S. Note: "I’m so unbelievably bored of Talltail having the same three stupid thoughts over and over and over" S. “The heartless rogue was going to pay for destroying his life” GOD SKIP S. “Twolegs are rabbit-brains.” get some new material for fuck’s sake S. His internal monologue is now entirely on par with Bluefur's I feel like? K. it is!!!! it is!!!!!! K. It's the same quality! It's just so disappointing that a book that started off like. K. SOMEHOW better than BP. K. Just swiftly dunked us back in the can. S. They just beat you to death over and over with the same inane conversations, the same unconvincing internal monologue. You could have a better book by literally just cutting this one in half. Just edit out all the repetitive bullshit. S. But they need to reach word count, so they don't. They shove more in, because there has to be 45 chapters, because it's a super edition. K. It's disgusting. I know y'all have a business to run but also If It Weren't For The Laws Of This Land, S. It really reframes for me all the people who were like, "it's the best super edition!" doesn’t it? K. YEAH S. Like, yikes. K. Like it's better than a lot of super editions and by a lot I mean Surprise, They're All The Same Fucking Book, K. How do you write the same book like forty times and never get it right, like, once.

#ailuronymy book club #hope you're all having a good time reading along and/or reading our overviews!

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adonis-koo · 4 years

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Sorry my asks was too long I had to make an acc and I hope you don’t mind I just re post all my asks as submit instead coz it’s long!

1-9 after reading ch 11 and prob unpopular opinion but I kinda felt like sometimes tease!jk behavior comes across as emotional manipulative with how he tends to guilt trip mc with his double standards when he’s angry.

He makes her feel bad for things he’s doing the same. And what he said was crossing the line and downright cruel. I understand the reasoning but I have to agree with that anon who said he was let off easy

2-9 I feel like he’s so far given a lot of excuse and pass for his toxic behaviour just because he has a messed up past. When I look at the conflict between mc, he tends to lash out towards her a lot when he can’t express his emotions properly or is jealous. It makes mc look like his emotional punching bag at times and coz he’s more aggressive than her, she ends up get dragged by or is affected by his emotions a lot more than hers does his in a negative way. Mc ain’t right too but she never lashed out the way he did.

3-9 Mc ain’t right too but she never lashed out the way he did. Sure he apologized but I feel like it was dismissed and that behavior wasn’t addressed more seriously. him being forgiven so easily doesn’t seem to allow him the chance to experience the full consequences of his actions and he needs to learn he can’t always deal with his pain by self-harm if he did happen to lose mc.

4-9 and mc seems a little over depend on jk’s approval. If him not apologizing would be enough for her to shut down that bad, than it shows her dependence on him might be bordering on unhealthy. It feels like all her approval and acceptance of herself at this point stems from jk’s behavior and words towards her because as you mentioned, her friends wouldn’t be able to pull her out of that situation if she did shut down.

5-9 She seem to feel insecure when he’s not giving her the attention she wants coz of her insecurities of not measuring up. I’m not sure if she’s aware of that and if she is it’s not addressed as much. Her accepting his apologies feels like a temporary bandage to her deeper issues and enabling herself to be more dependent on him instead of a chance for her to face it alone and grow.

6-9 I feel mc needs more chances to find her own worth and love outside of jk. To know she don’t need his love to feel lovable and worthy since he’s not the best person to get it from. She also needs the chance to be stronger and take more assertion and power as well, to balance the power in their relationship because it feels v imbalance now.

7-9 She needs a bit more equal grounds and feel in control and know she has as much power as him. She’s missing this in both sex and her relationship with him since the type of man she likes - the dominant and caretaker type like jk who has a tendency to be in control, can hinder her from growing stronger and independent.

8-9 And jk kinda needs someone more assertive and put him in his place and don’t take no bs from him. Someone who’ll be willing to walk away and have a time out when needed instead of always accepting him back so easily after he apologizes when he messes up. I’m actually glad mc walked out & I wouldn’t blame her if she did decide to time out from him in this ch. I mean he needs to be treated w/ understanding but too much dismissing his behavior will only enable him to continue excuse his problematic side.

9-9 Change requires quite some time and I’m glad they talked it over. But I just felt the way it ended didn’t really addressed fully those toxic sides to their relationship when the negative influences they have on each other outweighs the positive so far. I don’t know if I’m making sense I’m not the best at explaining stuff. But of course they have a lot more room to grow too since the story is not over and I’m excited to see their relationship grow more. I honestly really love your writings and I’m so invested in the characters so I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m being hateful because your writing is amazing.

~~~

(edit: PC tumblr won’t let me use my pink font >:( )

So I’ve read over this very carefully multiple times and gave it a lot of thought because you pointed out a few things I hadn’t quite thought of or saw it in that type of angle before, so first of all, thank you! I NEVER want to portrayal a relationship that is toxic in a non intentional way, so let’s go ahead and dive on in.

Something I’ve tried to avoid is giving ‘excuses’ especially in the sense of using Jungkook’s background for it. Something I used to constantly say (and I should probably start saying again) yes he has a reason to act out the way he does, it does NOT mean it’s okay by any means. But in a way, we use our past experiences as human beings to guide us, bad experiences leave negative effects.

While we could argue Jungkook ‘needs to learn’ by suffering consequences (which to a degree I do agree because as a previous anon said he needs to be held accountable for his actions) it wouldn’t necessarily be effective in this situation because Jungkook is actually very self aware he can’t escape through self-harm or self destruction, he does understand his actions and what he is doing isn’t okay.

But that doesn’t mean he won’t make mistakes- or fuck up big time he’s extremely hotheaded and impulsive and it’s something he CONSTANTLY battles with, something I wanted to portray when writing tease is the very essence of humans, we can be self aware of our destructive tendencies and yet still do them without realizing it in the moment- only to catch ourselves realizing we did it later on. Which is what happened after their fight.

It’s a war between wanting to heal and become healthy while still struggling to let go of his ego and anger that get the better of him. It’s what makes him human, it doesn’t make it right by ANY means, but it’s a struggle of growth, and no matter how much we grow there will always be ups and downs and set backs. That was definitely something I wanted to portray in my writing, while we don’t see this internal battle in Jungkook as the fic isn’t in his POV we do get to see a lot of this in his journal entries.

This is however something we get to explore a little in the upcoming arc and it’s something we heavily explore after the upcoming arc.

Let me state again this probably still sounds like an excuse and it does not in ANY way mean to be, the only thing I can really do is just explain why I’ve written him this way. I can’t justify his actions or defend him (other then his charactization which still isn’t really defending him because it’s more to do in technicality of writing, if that makes sense?) because that would be enabling him and glorifying unhealthy relationships which we don’t do in this house 🤢

So let’s discuss a little about MC’s behavior, she is 100% dependent of Jungkook’s approval and praise and in a more unconscious way, that was pretty much what I was aiming for. But let’s take a look at their entire relationship through the eyes of the story, Jungkook and MC, in reality, set themselves up for this. Ever since they met they accidentally established a power dynamic-

(via mentor/trainee taken a little too seriously even Jimin states in chapter 2 ‘“You don’t see any of us grinding on our trainee’s, so what’s the difference Guk, hm?” Your lips parted at his words slightly, was he insinuating this wasn’t normal?’ This was the first clue that their mentor trainee relationship was not normal compared to all of the others soloists who had trainee’s)

-that should have never been allowed to flourish before they really got to know one another. Because that’s the first step to what lead to all of this.

It first started innocently, MC just wanting to be seen as desirable by someone cute like Jungkook, and him being her mentor she wanted his approval on knowing she was doing well. But due to their natural tendency to fall into dom and sub combined with their already established mentor trainee without the foundation of a steady platonic friendship beforehand, it quickly descended more and more into MC needing his attention all the time, needing to know she was good enough and etc.

Really, this goes back to a previous ask I answered: Jungkook and MC have a lack of respect and knowledge for/of one another as people, as two individuals outside of the crumbling dynamic they established when they first met. I mean, sitting here thinking about it, I’m really not surprised it became such a toxic fest between them. They completely set themselves up for this unintentionally and now they’re going to have to learn is how to be a couple (and friends) without the power dynamic or else things are bound to fall apart.

Like you said change does take time and it’s something we’ll begin too see slowly developing between them both in the upcoming arc, but the one question that really struck me was your main one. We’re all aware of these toxic dynamics going on between them both, but why weren’t they addressed and talked about? I feel a little dumb for having to think about it when it feels so clear to me now. They themselves, don’t realize just how toxic their relationship has become, how are they supposed to when it’s been set up this way from the beginning? Their (unfair and unhealthy) power dynamic is all they’ve ever experienced one another through.

MC jumped out of one controlling relationship only to enter another more appealing one without realizing it and Jungkook has never even seen a healthy relationship let alone experience one. The only unhealthy aspect they are both aware of are the ridiculous double standards Jungkook had put on her in the past, because it’s the most blatant and dominant problem between them both. All of these other issues are more underlying and they are both oblivious too.

We’ve both said change takes time, but I think as Jungkook and MC begin to see each other as people outside of the power dynamic, and as they get to know each other as people and no longer as caretaker/little, sub/dom, mentor/trainee, these problems will eventually fix themselves, that doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t be orally addressed in the story. But from a writing perspective it leaves me to wonder how do I address this when they the characters aren’t even aware of how unhealthy their relationship is? That’s not really a question for you guys too worry about though lmao.

Anyways I’ll start wrapping things up but one last thing I really liked was your opinion on MC needing more independence and growth on her own. I can’t say for sure that’s what we’ll see in this upcoming arc but it’s something I’m definitely aiming for. As someone who though likes to submit I need a sense of autonomy and identity outside of someone else, so I can appreciate your words for MC!

I genuinely think they can be what they need for one another, but it’s always going to be a work in progress because as humans no one is perfect! It all boils down to what you’re willing to deal with in a relationship and what you aren’t, that of course isn’t an excuse to not work to become a better person or the best you can be! But a natural understanding. Anyways I hope I answered to the best of my ability, I said it once and I’ll say it again, I never ever ever want to portray a relationship that isn’t purposely set up toxically.

And that’s not too say I thought for a moment I had, because I’ve clearly stated in the past that this arc was specifically aimed at their toxicity, but it was more of a moment of panic that: ‘oh shit, I can NOT let this go on in the future of the story’ because like I’ve said before tease is all about character development, it won’t make them perfect but I want them to be a THOUSAND times better at the end of the story then where they are now.

Anyways no worries hun! I just hope this clarified a little bit! MC and Jungkook’s real relationship is only now just beginning to unfold in the upcoming arc, we’re only 1/3 of the way through the story so there’s still plenty of time! Thank you for sticking with it though no matter how frustrating the characters may be! I love getting asks that keep me on my toes, it helps keep me grounded and make sure I don’t accidentally become too biased to one narrative.

Thank you so much for sending in hun! ~~

#missy answers #tease #submission

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cherryplasmids · 5 years

Text

☆ freedom at last ☆

pairing: muriel x reader fandom: the arcana prompt: after the events of the masquerade, it’s time for you and muriel to relax. however, muriel’s past still haunts him. notes: not a request, sorry, but the arcana kinda rules my life now?? so i’ll be taking requests for all six main + valerius (but, i don’t think i would be good at writing him or lucio)

check my other works; masterlist

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Muriel’s hands grip the armrest of his only recliner. Knuckles pure white and tense with nerves eating him alive. He cannot move, simply stunned by the scene before him. Asra, his only human friend before the events leading up to the Masquerade, had only been invited to his home on rare occasions. A sudden downpour, an injured ankle, bring more myrrh, or to give Inanna a nice treat were reasons Asra ever entered his home. Muriel never liked company which is why he lived so far away from the bustling city and deep into the frightening woods where all sorts of creatures could attack at any given moment.

However, he couldn’t foresee the future. Foresee a life where you would stumble back into his life willingly, even with the knowledge of your past memories and death. Since he did not have such talent, he became reclusive up until you forcibly broke down his barriers and finally showed him that having company is something to adore.

Every word that stumbles from your luscious looking lips take control of his senses. He becomes an absolute melt around you, listening to every syllable with the utmost attention. Even more so, any request you have is automatically done by him. He’s been wrapped around your finger since day one.

Now, that he thinks about it, the scene in front of him isn’t exactly surprising. He knew one day you would want to stay with him for reasons unknown to him. You haven’t exactly made it a secret.

So as soon as you asked to get away from the hectic nights of Vesuvia, his usual response of saying ‘no’ had been quickly overshadowed by a reluctant head nod.

That doesn’t mean he’s exactly comfortable with what’s going on. It’s all new and fresh and completely out of his comfort zone. Hence his reason for staying so far away while you glide through his home as if you basically already lived there.

Eyes followed your every movement, watching you shuffle around his bedroom, getting ready for bed. Seemingly mundane tasks you do sends him flurries of varied emotions all ranging from inexperienced giddiness, uncomfortable nervousness, and insecurities, to even slight arousal. Simple motions of removing the rock hard pillows and old animal fur coverings and replacing them with your own bedroom necessities seem to cause stirring within his gut. None of your actions are sexual. Especially when you begin to strip down to your undergarments. You’re flinging shoes off, harshly and hastily wiping makeup off your face, and shaking your head like a wet dog. None of that is sexy in any way. And yet, Muriel finds himself slightly aroused.

When you are completely satisfied with your comfortability, you glance at the brooding figure in the corner—eyelashes fluttering and lips stretching into a shy, gentle smile. Quickly, his eyes dart down to the ground. There’s a heavy flush spreading throughout his body like wildfire would with dry wood. Even when he hears your bare feet walking towards him, his eyes defiantly looking downward.

Muriel is an extremely tall man, which is why you don’t necessarily need to lean down to touch him. You place your fingers underneath his chin, attempting to lift it. Again, he resists. Deciding to play a little dirty, you rub your thumb against his jawline, the same spot that simply turns him into mush.

He swallows hard, holds his breath, and looks up. The same gentle smile on your lips.

“Muriel?”

Sweat droplets trickle down his neck, descending his back in large groups. He’s beyond nervous. Every word you say keeps him on his toes, yearning for more of your delicate voice to soothe his racing mind. There was no way in hell he’d ever stop wanting more of it.

“Let’s go to bed, hm?”

There’s no urgency in your voice, just a little offering. However, he doesn’t move from his position, just nods stiffly.

You lean forward, pressing a soft kiss to his scruffy jawline. Now you can audibly hear his breath hitch. A little flurry of pride swirls within you. “Please.”

Trailing your hands down from his arms to his hands, you feel every curve of his thick muscles and it excites you. Naughty thoughts throw your head in the gutter. By all the arcana you want to simply ravish him. Give him quality love the poor boy so rightfully deserves. You were dog tired after the entire Masquerade fiasco and you can see the tiredness in Muriel’s eyes. This long night needed to end. It was way too long and action-packed for more excitement of any kind. There will be some resting before you can bring your fantasies to light. So you grasp his hands, tugging him up with little effort. With all the time you’ve spent together trying to take down Lucio, Muriel’s become a complete melt with you. Just a simple touch sends him reeling.

“Come on,” You pull him along with you before you turn to push him on the bed. The permanent blush on his cheeks amuses you a bit, but you decide the teasing could be done at another time. You’re not sure if he can handle it without bursting.

He wasn’t sporting a different attire than usual since the only thing he would accept from Nadia was a fancy leather coat. Hands on shoulders, you push it off his body, pulling his arms out of the sockets with delicacy. Some areas of his body are beginning to bruise from the little adventure the Devil had put him through. You knew for a fact you’d be seeing some on your body tomorrow morning.

The coat is discarded, but he still sports something rather ugly. The infamous choker and chain combo still embellished his body. It’s hideous, absolutely disgusting. Anger rises within you as the cold steel becomes warm under your flesh. Not only that, but your heart begins to ache. It’s a constant reminder to Muriel—of his past as a giant forced to violently commit bloodshed for entertainment. And even with Lucio gone for good, this leash chains him to the previous Count forever. It makes you want Lucio to come back again so you could hurt him even more. Do it again and again until he understands the pain your beautiful man has gone through.

You need Muriel to know that his past is actually in the past. With you by his side, memories intact and love for him still growing strong, you’ll protect him from all external and internal evils trying to taint his shy mind.

You tug on the leash. “May I?” Instead of it sounding strong, it comes out breathy and nervous.

He shakes his head, causing you to frown.

“Please, my love.”

His breath hitches. “L-love?”

Smiling sweetly, you move your hands from the gleaming silver and run your fingers through his soft, ebony hair. “Yes, Muriel. I love you. I love you now and forever. With you, everything makes sense. Everything has finally come together and my life, for once, is not filled with blanks. With you, I’ve felt the most stable and secure I’ve ever felt in a very long time.”

Pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I’m safe, warm, happy and I just want you to feel the same.”

He opens his mouth to speak, however, he’s halted by your finger pressing against his lips. “I know you’re happy. Happy with Asra, Inanna, and Faust. Over the moon ecstatic when we’re alone.” You wink and he chokes.

“But I know whenever I go back to the shop and leave you here, your thoughts go to the deep end. Despite Lucio being physically gone forever, he still rules over your life. He did it while he was alive, as a spirit, when he stole my body, and even now. You are shackled to the misery caused by him as long as you wear these chains.”

Tears well up in your eyes, “It breaks my heart to see you suffering.”

Panic rises within him and his arms fly out to grab your hips. “Please, don’t cry.” He chokes out, feeling equally emotional.

He knows it's time to move on. Time for a new beginning. A chance at a new life with you, away from all the pains of coliseum bloodshed.

“Help me,” Whispered to you with utter defeat and his head hung low.

The tears you held finally spilled onto his head and in response, his own tears fell onto your hand. After a few seconds, you tilt his head up to look at him.

And oh boy does it fucking hurt to see his beautiful amber eyes tainted by sadness.

“Always, my love. Always.”

Grabbing onto his shoulders again, you lean forward to unclasp the thick, leather choker. It unlatches after a few attempts. However, it did not fall onto the floor. Muriel’s large chest and your body obstructing its ability to do so. Instead, you graze his back with the tips of your fingernails, tracing the scars left from days of abuse. Muriel shudders and soon, he begins trembling.

His palms grab your elbows, halting further movement.

“Muriel-oomph!”

Muriel’s lips smash against your own and hot damn was it delightful. Especially since this was your first shared kiss with the giant. The kiss is wet from tears, filled with teeth clashing and tongues swirling. His hands slide back down to your hands, pushing them behind him.

He’s guiding you. He wants to do this together.

Tears start falling down again and you’re not sure who started it first, but all you know it that with each passing second, your heart is feeling lighter. Muriel’s thick, warm fingers cover you smaller ones as you pull off the choker from his neck.

The kiss slows down, turning into a sensual long kiss before Muriel pushes you away. Your hands tug onto the chains and they fall onto the floor. Once it clatters to the floor, relief completely fills you. However, Muriel simply stares at his symbolism for self-hatred. And you’re afraid you pushed him to do something he wasn’t ready for.

After a few moments, he speaks up.

“I’m free.” He whispers, “I’m finally free.”

And with that, Muriel shoots up and grabs you into one of his famous, cuddly bear hugs that were reserved for you. He’s swinging you around and pressing a bunch of kisses onto your face. It sends you into a fit of giggles.

‘Thank you,” he says after putting you down.

You simply nod, still in a slight daze.

He pulls you into another searing kiss, completely pushing your body into his own. “I love you.”

────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

word count: 1773 published: april 15, 2019 edited: n/a

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legaciesmade · 5 years

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maxence danet-fauvel. he/him. cismale. ╱ i thought i saw mathieu beaumont getting questioned by the police. the twenty-three year old is in their fourth year at west bridge studying business. they were at manon’s party because he’s her older brother and it was at their house. do you think they had something to do with her death? + a beguiling smile, a collection of luxury watches, the sound of running shoes on the track field.

hey you demon fucks .. i’m bailey !! i’m twenty-two, i go by she/her pronouns and i live in the b(est) timezone ;) if you wanna know more ab me, i’m a video game heaux and a pisces sun/aquarius moon/cancer rising ( for any fellow astro-hoes. ) also i’m not gonna lie, you’ll find me more readily on d.scord compared to t.mblr ims bcos... it’s easier, so hmu for tht if interested. anyw, mat is....certainly a new muse to me so i’m kinda just going with the flow. but what i do know is he’s fuckin trash. go figure.

his pinterest

the eldest child of the beaumont family; mathieu was basically groomed to one day take over the family business. it didn’t matter if he didn’t want it, he was the eldest and that was that.

so here he is, majoring in business ( with a bunch of math/finance courses on the side ) like a Good Son

literally he’s been taking classes to prepare him for college ever since the start of high school, maybe even earlier than that. because it’s a Very Serious Responsibility

to say he was envious that manon got to choose her own major/path in life is an understatement, but he’s learned well to hide his anger behind a smile,,,, thts so sad alexa play despacito

i’m leaving a lot of family stuff sorta open-ended bc i don’t want to assume too much ab manon aside from what we know thus far sjdhsjdh BUT JUST KNOW THAT, YEAH, MAT LOVES HIS FAMILY BUT....sometimes love isn’t enough. especially when you have like, basically NO say in a lot of aspects of your life...

his sport is literally the only thing that’s 100% his. his father would’ve probably preferred him to go out for football but... nah fam, boy wanted to do track and he’s crazy good. been doing it since middle school and each time he’s made captain position. dad still isn’t that impressed though.

that all being said. he’s also in student council; he enjoys it enough, but this was definitely more of a “you have to join it” scenario lol oops

his birthday is january 18th ( it must’ve been suuuuuuch a fun birthday this year, huh ;))))) i’m not sorry )

sun - capricorn ( restrictions, order, and control. you exercise these characteristics firstly on your own self. you like to control your reality by setting daily patterns to follow, and will frequently choose to wake up earlier than needed. you usually are stubborn and determined, and will frequently enter power games. however, you can be very patient. when this is combined with your determination and self-discipline, you can each any goal you set your mind to. )

moon - capricorn ( you show a lot of initiative. you are in it to win it. in fact, you might have a hard time kicking back and taking it easy. you do not want to feed into another’s beliefs about victimhood. you might experience issues of emotional detachment from other individuals, but this can prove very helpful; you can excel in things that require cold blood and seriousness. )

ascendant - aries ( you are athletic and active, highly energetic and capable of physical work. you are always ready to take initiative. self-reliance is learnt early in childhood. though you often have difficulties with your parents, especially the parent of the same sex. )

basically... his double capricorn aka his sense of maturity and seriousness, point to a very dutiful and hardworking nature... but, it also means that he had a lot of circumstances that forced him to grow up FAST. which, um, he did,,, in a sense. *points to his parents/his dad* we can blame them/him. HOWEVER, his aries rising/ascendant makes all that seriousness/logic tense af bc aries is like action/action/action... automatic response without thinking it through. so. that’s fun!!

alright so. the party and the pact. hm. mat’s in a very sticky situation with this whole thing and he still isn’t exactly sure how he feels ab it....but what’s done is done and there’s no going back now. of course he’s grieving in his own way, manon was still his little sister, but whew! seeing her like that really made him think of all the times they clashed/fought? like... yeah siblings fight okay but their different personalities/the clear difference in how their parents treated them, there was always a boiling point. no matter how quiet his negative emotions were, they were still there. sweet, naive manon... probably had no idea mathieu felt like this, because he just never fuckin talked ab it. and honestly, why would he?

in terms of what’s happening plot wise with the texts, etc, mat isn’t... okay he’s BOTHERED by them, but is he gonna let it show.... no. the fuck kinda question is tht...... he has enough to worry ab as is, keeping up with his courses and track and student council, not to mention his family and being the grieving brother,,, now someone’s sayin they KNOW what he helped do???? bye it’s not funny and he’s already exhausted. he’s v skeptical ab a lot of ppl in this so-called pact....but he knows most of them wouldn’t be out here tattling surely, when it’ll impact them just as much. *thinking emoji*

alright so idk what else to write atm like this is....Bad but. i tried okskjsk bye

#ps.intro #I WILL REPLY TO MESSAGES AND STARTERS LATER #aka it's 12 something AM.....i'm tired ;///#super late to the party i k n ow whsoospsjhndjs

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leesacrakon · 7 years

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Hey I just saw your Patton angst fic and I was wondering if you could make a part 3? It was really good and people are mostly focusing on Logan and Virgil and not Patton and I really need some Patton angst and if you can't write a part 3 maybe a tiny fic? Where Patton is just breaking down and crying infront of the others?

*whispers* You’re all so good to me.

I guess I’ll write a part 3 to the Patton angst. :3

The end is really, really bad, but I hope the rest is good!

Part 1: https://leesacrakon.tumblr.com/post/165137676117/thanks-for-turning-on-anonymous-im-sorry-i

Part 2: https://leesacrakon.tumblr.com/post/165161592777/fic-afraid

tag list: @here-to-vent @fandomsofrandom @mylasagnaisraw@virgilsspidercurtains @justanotherpurplebutterfly @tiny-mudkip@romananalogicality @pattonpending @edgeworthsnoodle@lovely-chaotic-goddess @aph-curls-n-dimples @the-babysitter@sunnyside12pershon @xix-leiloves-xix @cup-of-blue@thegeekgirl42 @the-potterhead-phandom @emupoppyjay@introverted-slytherin-of-history @virgilmood @uriteurite-likethatlikethat @shimmerthenerd @theawesomestofsauces@poisin-youth @juju–universe @ccecode

Fandom(s): Sanders Sides, YouTube, Thomas Sanders

Warnings: Crying, yelling, some self-hatred and self-deprecation, and implied verbal abuse

Ship(s): None/Platonic LAMP???

Patton clung to Virgil tightly as they slowly made their way to Thomas’ living room, taking in deep, shaky breaths and trying to calm himself down. Virgil didn’t look any better, his face paler than usual as he gripped Patton’s hand tightly, gently biting his bottom lip. The two of them watched silently for a moment as Roman, Logan, and Thomas continued to watch a movie together, not seeming to notice their presence. That is until Logan spoke up.

“We know you’re there, Virgil. I thought we told you to go-” Logan started, voice low. His eyes widened and his voice immediately cut off as he saw Patton standing behind Virgil, face buried in the other’s shoulder and trembling slightly.

“Patton? You’re…You’re back?” Logan asked, mouth hanging open in surprise. Patton nodded and made no move to look at the other, still shivering with fear as he slowly approached him and Virgil. Logan tilted his head slightly, observing Patton in bemusement and slight guilt.

“I…Are you alright? You’ve been gone for a while,” Logan muttered, twiddling his thumbs nervously and glancing from Virgil to Patton. The fatherly trait blinked and lifted his head off of the darker trait’s shoulder. Suddenly determined, he squeezed Virgil’s shoulder reassuringly and drew himself up, stepping in front of the other and folding his arms across his chest.

“No. I’m not alright. And Virgil isn’t either,” Patton said coldly, eyes cold and, scarily enough, unforgiving. Roman watched the small group from the couch, swallowing back a lump in his throat. Thomas sank lower, burying his head in his hands, clearly affected by the turmoil around him. Logan could feel the anger rolling off of Patton and quickly ducked his gaze, backing away slowly. Virgil stared at Patton in confusion.

“How could you honestly ask if I’m alright? After what you did to me? After what you did to Virgil?!” Patton hissed, seething, clenching his fists at his sides. Logan opened his mouth to reply and Patton shushed him with a glare. “I’m not done. You’re going to shut up and sit down and let me talk for once.” Logan quickly nodded and hurried over to the couch. Patton took Virgil by the hand and tugged him gently into the living room, giving him a reassuring smile before turning back to Logan, Roman, and Thomas.

“So, what’s it been like without me, hm? Has it been fun?” the moral side asked bitterly. “What’s it like not having me around? Was it nice, not having a stupid waste of space like me to bother you about every little thing?” Logan and Roman both flinched. Virgil’s face had paled and he collapsed into the armchair, hiding his face in his hands.

“Do you regret calling me stupid? A failure? Telling me that all I do is mess things up? Because I don’t. Want to know why?” Patton’s voice cracked as he spoke and the anger was suddenly washed away from his face, giving way to despair. Logan looked up at him in surprise and Roman stiffened. Thomas and Virgil both peeked at the normally happy trait between their fingers, frightened.

“I-It’s because…it’s because you were right. Yes, Thomas needs me, and I realize that…b-but it took me abandoning all of you and letting you suffer and turn on each other for me to realize it,” Patton said. “I-I’m a horrible, s-stupid, selfish person! I don’t….I don’t deserve to be part of you! P-Please, just…st-stop hurting Virgil, and let me come back a-and I promise I’ll do better,” Patton continued between small sobs as tears slowly began to make their way down his cheeks. Roman’s eyes softened and he slowly stood.

“Patton, I-”

“STOP! I KNOW WHAT YOU”RE GOING TO SAY! I KNOW YOU’RE RIGHT, SO JUST FORGIVE ME AND LET ME COME BACK, PLEASE!” Patton shouted, clapping his hands over his ears and sobbing. Logan and Roman exchanged a look of shock before jumping to their feet and wrapping the fatherly trait in a hug. Patton tried to wrench away, tried to push Roman and Logan off of him, but they weren’t having it.

“None of that’s true. You’re sweet and amazing, and loving, and we had no right to make you feel this way. It is us who should be begging for forgiveness, not you,” Roman said, threading his fingers through Patton’s hair and fighting back tears. Logan was silent, rigid as he had his arms wrapped tightly around Patton’s waist.

“Yes it is, it’s all true. St-Stop…Stop lying to me! I let you hurt Virgil, I let Thomas suffer, I-I….I’m a horrible person. I don’t deserve this. I don’t I don’t,” Patton moaned, burying his face in Logan’s shoulder and shivering. Virgil’s face twisted into a pained expression. Patton felt bad because of what the others had done to him. Did that make this his fault? Of course, that made it his fault. And he was the one who had done so badly in controlling Patton’s emotions. Patton was not the one to blame.

“You’re wrong, Patton. If there’s any blame to be had, I’m the one who should get it,” Virgil said firmly, sitting up in his chair shakily. “I was the one who messed everything up when you left. Logan and Roman had a right to be mad at me, and you should be angry at me too. I fucked everything up. You don’t deserve to feel like this, dad,” Virgil continued slowly.

“Neither do you, Virgil. It is our fault, and ours alone. We had no right to treat either of you the way we did. I, personally, did it out of spite. You are not at fault, I promise,” Logan said solemnly, turning his head slightly to look at Virgil. The darker trait blinked slowly, mouth hanging open in surprise. Slowly, slowly, a gentle, open-mouthed smile formed on his lips and his eyes brimmed with tears. Patton let out a loud sniffle and half chuckle before kissing both Roman and Logan on the forehead, letting out a relieved sigh. He was about to speak when a loud sob interrupted all of them. Virgil’s head snapped over to the couch abruptly, where Thomas was still sitting. The said man was sitting on the couch with his hands balled into fists, head bowed low and his shoulders shaking with sobs.

“Thomas, are you okay?!” Roman asked in a panic, running forward and kneeling in front of his host, taking his hands in his own and looking at him in concern.

“I-I’m sorry, I…I just…I’m so glad Patton’s back!” Thomas gasped between heaving breaths and sobs, looking up at his sides, his tear-stained face filled with relief and exhaustion. Roman grinned and Patton pulled away from Logan, leaping onto the couch to wrap Thomas in a hug. Roman stayed on his knees, resting his head against Thomas’ leg as Logan sighed and walked over, getting on the other side of Thomas and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Virgil hesitantly got up and walked behind the couch, leaning down and wrapping Thomas up in a hug from behind.

“I’m sorry I left kiddo. I won’t do that to you again, I promise,” Patton whispered, pressing a kiss to Thomas’ temple and nuzzling into his shoulder. He was home at last.

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butterfly-truths · 7 years

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Emerald and Sapphire

Title - Emerald and Sapphire

Rating - M

Summary - Shakespeare once said Jealousy is a green eyed monster, but America's come to the conclusion that Pride is the true green eyed monster, and Greed its blue eyed lover. Jealousy is merely a their mode of operation.

"Selfish brat," England seethes. "The world is not your plaything, nor am I."

Apparently, America ripping England away from France's ever-wandering hands has merited his anger rather than his gratitude. Though maybe it had begun as gratitude and then transformed into ire when America had proceeded to dip him towards the ground and kiss him right in front of his most hated enemy in order to prove a point.

America scowls, very much wanting to contradict his words. His greed knows no bounds, England is quite aware of this. He demands the finer things in life: power, money, prestige, the world bowed at his feet as he sits upon his gilded throne.

Once he had to hide it, he was weak back in those dark times, but now… now he can to whatever he wishes without thought to the possible fallout. After all, who is willing to stand up to the most powerful country in the world? With one word he could send the world into Armageddon, ashes to ashes, and the thought fills America with a dizzying giddiness.

Above all though he is greedy for England, for his body, for his mind. America craves every little piece of him- wants to consume him whole. Every look, every painfully accented word spoken from those silky lips is his and his alone.

Not France's. Not anyone's. Not if he has any say in it.

England has his untouchable pride though. He will not be bullied into submission, refuses to treat America as anything less than what he deems him to be.

Jealousy is very much a two way street though.

And America loves to play with England's pride.

He loves the challenge England presents, his Pride against America's Greed.

It's their own little personal game, and the world are their game pieces. England may have made the opening move with his little stunt with France, but America is rather experienced in the art of getting even, has learned how to play with emotions in the same fashion a skilled musician plays their instrument, and of all the nations alive he knows England's emotions- perhaps better than his own.

He enjoys toying with that indomitable spirit, watching it try and hold strong as America leans his head in towards Japan's, feeling that familiar caustic glare meticulously disguised under indifference boring into him as they speak in hushed voices. England has memory that spans millennia, and can hold grudges for just as long. America also knows that England still hasn't quite forgiven his brief affair with the Asian nation back in the 18th century which, unfortunately for Japan, makes him the perfect pawn for him to sacrifice.

"America."

"Yes, England?" America asks, drawing his head up, a smug smile curling at his lips at the fury carefully etched into England's eyes. Oh how he enjoys to toy with his pride so. It's such an easy little thing to wind up yet he never gets tired of the reaction it garners.

"I have something from our bosses that I need to discuss with you," England tells him, the excuse falling from painstakingly controlled lips and America's smile grows wider at how false his words are.

"Maybe later England," America says, waving him off. He even turns away and towards Japan. "Japan and I are in the middle of a discussion, isn't that right Kiku?" Japan seems flustered at the sudden usage of his human name, eyes darting uncertainly between the two English speaking nations.

"Um, if it's important this can always wait-" Japan offers, his quiet voice cut off.

"Just because you're a bloody superpower doesn't mean you can simple choose who and who not to talk to!" England snaps, his meticulously constructed mask cracking.

"I'm sorry Kiku, what were you saying?" America asked, ignoring the island nation's sputtering behind him.

"Well-"

Before Japan can get out another word America is harshly pulled out of his seat.

"Quite sorry Japan," England's voice cuts in smoothly. He does not yell, does not reveal another crack in his mask as his dignity will not allow it, this gentlemanly construct that he presents to the rest of the world in order to hide his real face, the one only America gets to see. "But this really is urgent business that needs to be discussed in private. I'll make sure to return him to you when I'm through with him."

Then America is being yanked out of the room and through the hall and though he knows he has the strength to stop England he allows him to continue manhandling, his body humming in victory.

Even Pride has its limits.

And Greed loves it when it snaps.

The noises that stream from America would make even France blush. They embody the very heart of sinful and lewd, low and keening as they fall from kiss-swollen lips. Above him England has lost any and all sense of propriety as he fucks America into the mattress, and America loves it. Loves the way his body is slick with sweat, the way his bangs are sticking to his forehead, the feeling of England's body pressed oh so intimately against his, the moans of appreciation from his partner as he slams into him.

He drinks in every garbled word of endearment, the wicked whispers pressed into his overheated skin, the feeling of love bites that break skin and being thoroughly used by the nation above him. He revels in the knowledge that he is the only one to see England like this, that he can make him come undone so utterly. He is beautiful, mesmerizing, and he is all America's.

"I could do it you know," America states offhandedly in the afterglow as he presses feather-light kisses against England's skin, tasting him with little flicks of his tongue as he goes about. "Just one word and I could reduce the world to ash. It might be fun to try."

England drags his fingers through America's hair and America nearly purrs.

"You'll never do it though," he tells him with a quiet confidence of a man who knows he's right. America works his way up to his neck and pauses over his pulse point.

"Hm, and why not?" He teasingly nips at it, feels England shiver slightly beneath him.

"Because you're too greedy to destroy all your toys." America pauses for a moment, letting England's words sink in before continuing his journey, taking his time along England's jaw before hovering above his lips.

"No," America breathes, emerald locking with sapphire. "Just one."

He can feel England's smile against his lips as they kiss, lithe fingers winding through his hair.

Body, mind- America owns every inch of England.

And in return England owns every inch of America.

#was revamping some of my older works #thought i'd throw it up here for you guys #usuk #aph america #aph england #my writing

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