#it sets unrealistic expectations that get harder and harder to achieve

[thcfountain]

anonymous asked: "okay but Matt with a insecure/shy reader and he makes them feel better?"

Tags: Matt x Reader. She/her pronouns. Talks a lot about eurocentric beauty standards and how women, at least in America, are all expected to be thin and white. Fluff. Word count: 1,207.

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Growing up, it felt like you had always been bombarded with unattainable standards set by the beauty and fashion industries - women who were photoshopped to be thinner, taller, to have lighter skin. Everywhere you turned, magazines and commercials advertised diet plans and pills, pushing unhealthy weight loss tactics, all aimed at their feminine audience. Suffice it to say, you (and a great deal of many others not only nationwide, but worldwide) felt shamed to be in your own skin.

The girls in magazines and on tv or who walked runways rarely seemed to look like you. Diversity felt all too rare, making you worry constantly about being pretty enough. Of course you understood that this was a foolish concept because realistically, you knew that the beauty standards being shoved down your throat were unrealistic - almost always created with photoshop because no one was ever that perfect. It was still hard sometimes, not to compare yourself and worry that you weren't good enough.

What also didn't help was stumbling across your boyfriend's old curiouscat and spending an afternoon scrolling through post after post, reading about how he claimed to be attracted to ‘baddies’ and girls who fit more into the category of the models you sometimes saw on Instagram, who always had perfect makeup and perfect bodies. You knew it shouldn't, but it made you feel insecure. 

Without really meaning to, you found yourself striving harder to fit into that Instagram model, bad girl look - the one that was achieved via editing and filters the majority of the time. You started spending time nitpicking your looks in the mirror, trying different ways to attempt to look more and more like the girls in magazines or one instagram. 

Matt took notice. 

“Y/N is kinda acting weird lately,” he brought up one afternoon while hanging out with Noah. He hadn't quite figured out what was going on with you yet. “I'm not sure how to explain it.”

Noah mutes the tv, quieting an episode of Naruto that he had seen a dozen times already and could quote by heart. “Okay? Try to explain anyway.”

Matt finished his Celsius and shrugged before diving into how he had noticed you staring in the mirror more, the additional makeup and skin care products that had been purchased, and the overall sudden unease you seemed to have in your own skin. “Also she gets weird when I try to initiate sex. Starting to wonder if this is her way of saying I'm bad at it,” he was joking, at least a little.

He was met with silence for a moment as Noah just stared at him, the expression on his face calling Matt a hundred different names for stupid. It was times like this when Matt hated how expressive Noah could be.

“Dude,” Noah started, shaking his head like he couldn't fathom how Matt didn't figure it out. “She's worried about her body. You know how girls are with all that diet and fashion stuff,” he added. Of course Noah was also into that stuff, but through therapy and because of necessity, he had learned how to tackle it from a health perspective rather than a body insecurity one.

Hearing Noah's response made Matt want to smack himself upside the head. How could he not notice that you were dealing with body image insecurities? Truthfully, he didn't know anyone who didn't deal with them. Even he had his things that he was insecure about and so did each of his friends. Though he supposed it was a little different, given they weren't the target audience of 90% of those miracle weight loss commercials that aired on tv every once in a while.

“I'm an idiot,” he confessed to Noah, who only nodded in agreement.

Coming home, Matt found you in your underwear, staring into the floor length mirror in your bedroom. It was clear to him now, that you were checking yourself over, probably picking at things the media had convinced you to hate about yourself and that made him sad and a little bit angry. Angry that there was anything in this world that could make you see yourself as anything less than a goddess and sad that he hadn't figured out what was going on sooner.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” he says and his words startle you, causing you to jump a little. You hadn't noticed he had been standing there until he spoke. “You are the most beautiful woman that I've ever seen,” he continued, not giving you a chance to argue as he crossed the room, wrapping his arms around you from behind so you could look into the mirror together.

“I could stand to-” you start, ready to list off things you thought you should change but he cut you off.

“No,” he says curtly before kissing the skin on your shoulder. “You are perfect,” he kisses the crook of your neck and you melt a little into his arms. “There isn't a single thing about you that isn't perfect or that I don't love.” He kisses the side of your neck softly.

“I'm not a baddie,” you whisper, feeling a little goofy to say it outloud.

“Baby, you're the baddest fucking bitch in the world. I just want you to love yourself as much as I love you.” You turned in his arms and rested your head on his shoulder. “If you want to keep up with fashion trends then do it because you enjoy it. I know I can't change your mind overnight but I'm going to remind you how beautiful you are until you believe it.”

“You're so cheesy,” you mumble, heart swelling happily under his words and he laughs before kissing the top of your head. “I love you.”

It takes time to learn to love yourself and all of your imperfections. It takes time to learn that humans aren't meant to be picture perfect - that they're supposed to come in all shapes and sizes and shades and that the fashion and beauty industries were judgemental of all women and racist and eurocentric to a terrifying degree.

But Matt kept his word, constantly reminding you of how beautiful you were. Listing off all the things that he loved about you and making you tell him things you loved about yourself too.

Matt saw you as you were. He was not love blind, he was not lying. He saw you exactly as you were. Every flaw, every imperfection, and he thought that you were the literal definition of beauty. 

“Who's that beautiful girl?” Matt's horrid singing voice made you groan but you also smiled in embarrassment as he sang his own version of the Nanalan song to you. “Could she be any cuteeerrr?”

“I regret showing you that Tiktok,” you laughed and Boo barked in response. “Even Boo thinks you're being a nut!”

“Who's that beautiful girl?” his terrible singing gets louder as he gets closer, arms opening and you squeal as he tackles you onto the couch, covering your face in kisses. “I'm gonna keep singing it until you tell me who's the most beautiful girl,” he threatens between kisses.

You laugh at his dorkiness. “It's me!” You proclaim.

“Damn right its you.”

#matt dierkes fanfic #matt dierkes x reader #matt dierkes

[mischiefmanifold]

An Explanation of the Diagnostic Criteria of Narcissism (Narcissistic Personality Disorder / NPD)

In order to be considered a narcissist, someone has to meet five or more of the nine criteria listed in the DSM-V. The symptoms have to be pervasive (present in a wide variety of contexts) and clinically distressing.

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g. exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).

Exaggerating your own achievements

Criticizing and dismissing others’ achievements or talents

Constantly boasting or talking about yourself

Believing yourself to be infallible or invulnerable

Believing that you are more intelligent than others

Thinking that common rules don’t apply to you

Acting selfishly

Treating others with disdain or contempt

Not caring if you hurt someone with your actions

Being quick to anger if you’re challenged

Being unable to see how your behavior affects others

Being unable to see how unrealistic your beliefs and actions are

2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

Often make up stories where you are the main character or are better than everyone else

Often imagine yourself in positions of power

May often imagine yourself in ways that distract from emptiness and unstable emotions (such as powerful, in control, beautiful, knowledgeable)

Fantasies of winning awards

Fantasies of being praised for your perfect work

Fantasies of getting the ideal partner and having a perfect relationship

3. Believes that they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).

Only choosing services you consider “the best” (e.g. fly first class, stay in five-star hotels, and eat at top restaurants)

Purchasing only name brand items or items that you deem are “the best”

Insisting on seeing prestigious specialists, even for minor health concerns

Seeking out friendships with people you deem worthy and ignoring anyone else (potentially also believing that the person you’re friends with should be grateful that they were chosen)

Dating only people they deem “the best”

4. Requires excessive admiration.

Expect others to admire your style, looks, or abilities

Feeling enraged when you don’t receive praise for accomplishments

Hint to others for compliments if they aren’t offered automatically

Spending a lot of time wondering how others perceive you

Do things specifically to earn praise

5. Has a sense of entitlement (i.e. unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations).

Expecting to get certain things just because you exist or with no specific justification (such as special access to certain areas or items of clothing)

Believes that you and your needs come before everyone else’s

Believing that since you work harder and do a better job than everyone else, you should get to set your own schedule

Believing that everyone should cater to you

6. Interpersonally exploitative (i.e. takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends).

Putting yourself down so others recognize your abilities or talents

Insisting that others help and support you before taking care of themselves

Complimenting someone just to receive praise back

Failing to realize when you’ve made unrealistic demands of others

Treating people unkindly when they’re unwilling to do things for you

Lying or deceiving others to get your needs met

7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.

Focusing on your own problems and feelings without realizing that others have important needs, too

Expect others to put you first

Have trouble understanding other people’s feelings and experiences

Have little interest in other people’s difficulties

Consider expressing feelings a sign of weakness

Avoid doing things for others unless it benefits you

8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them.

You may envy people who are getting praise and attention for their achievements and talents

You may believe that others envy you and your abilities

You may assume that others are working behind your back to steal the opportunities you deserve

You may feel uneasy or upset if someone you are close to is given attention by someone else

9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.

A “high and mighty” attitude or snobbishness

Contempt for people who make mistakes

Scorn for those who don’t recognize your superiority

A tendency to patronize “ordinary” people

Aggressive or sharp responses to perceived criticism

—

Sources:

Grandiosity: (Source 1) (Source 2)

Other Symptoms: (Source)

#npd diagnostic criteria #diagnostic criteria #simplified diagnostic criteria #dsm 5 #npd #npd tag #narcissism #narcissist #narcissistic #narcissistic personality #narcissistic personality disorder

[mollrat101]

I cannot understand how Ava of season 1 would’ve allowed Deborah to keep jokes like this in her set without a fight.

“I wear high heels that hurt my back, most of my meals are 75% lettuce, and I get skin treatments that make my face bleed. Not only do I not regret that, I hate women who don’t make the effort. I think they’re quitters. You think it’s brave showing your bare face and gray hair in society? Try signing a waiver that says you might die during elective surgery. Now that takes guts!” 

The joke is sort of at Deborah’s expense because she’s willing to risk her life in order to achieve unrealistic beauty standards, but it doesn’t demonstrate any self-reflection on Deborah’s part about her problem of judging other women in general. In fact, the whole point is that she’s very loud and proud of judging other women and she doesn’t regret ever doing that. I wanted to see Deborah reckon with the fact that the very industry that has put her through misogynistic treatment is also a problem she’s contributed to by promoting misogynistic jokes throughout her career. But nope, Deborah is an anti-feminist and she’s proud of it. 

Then what was the point of all that talk about sexism and feminism in season 1? What was the point of showing us a young Deborah who believed in feminism? What was the point of showing us Deborah confronting Drew who sexually harassed another female comedian making her realize her personal success didn’t change conditions for women in comedy?

Again, Deborah being like this wouldn’t be a problem if either the narrative or the characters called her out on this behavior, but actually she gets rewarded for it. Ava loves her even more and doesn’t question her and her show succeeds without her ever having to apologize or self-reflect about the way she’s performed her comedy in the past. She gets what she wants with actually little resistance. 

I cannot understand how Ava of season 1 wouldn’t have absolutely torn Deborah a new one for her horribly homophobic and sexist behavior in 2.04. 

Season 2 has taken away any of Ava’s normal outrage which not only makes her less interesting but also causes the story and Deborah’s character to suffer. The fact that Deborah could behave badly and receive no backlash from either other characters (particularly Ava, who is most prone to challenge her) but also the narrative itself made her much harder to sympathize with. 

Deborah being unlikable wouldn’t be a problem if I felt it connected to the story and what it was trying to say. In season 1, I thought they were telling a story of a woman who has internalized misogyny and homophobia and trauma and has perpetuated the same system that has caused her to suffer and that a major part of her arc is choosing to act differently now, thanks in large part to Ava’s influence. 

But season 2 throws that out in the window and suggests none of that stuff really mattered and the writers don’t have any interest in confronting Deborah’s biases where it concerns other women and queer women. 

This wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t think they set me up with different expectations from season 1. 

#hacks hbo #hbo hacks #hacks #deborah vance #ava daniels #hacks thoughts

[outworkone]

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[fitnesssprint]

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#weight loss #fitnessfreak #exercise

[singingvio]

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#Some of y'all legitimately don't know that those comments on piano videos about asian parents #telling their kids to 'play this really complicated piece backwards' like it's no big deal #is actually offensive and hurtful #like even though the stereotype is about someone being good at something #it sets unrealistic expectations that get harder and harder to achieve #it's still a bad stereotype #there's no such thing as a 'good' stereotype because stereotypes are BAD. #anyway kind of wanted to vent about that #and no this isn't me being salty about not being good at piano I'm actually pretty good if I do say so myself #I'm just tired #of seeing those comments everywhere #like. stop. it's not funny. It's not 'cool.' it's a generic comment that I see literally everywhere that legitimately hurts people #and it shouldn't be brushed aside like nothing in my opinion #anyway back to your regularly scheduled shitposting soon

[uirsoi]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒.

summary: headcanons surrounding my modern interpretation of the jaeger family.

DINA & GRISHA

i’d like to think the two actually met during university. grisha jaeger being a med student (faye’s passing motivates this) and dina would have probably undertaken a double major of english and political science.

why that double major? in a modern setting, maybe the fritz family could have been apart of something political ? idk anything about politics , but dina as the senator’s daughter ?? it kind of uplifts her importance ykyk.

a big cliche but they would have probably met during an individual library study session. dina wandering the aisles of bookshelves desperately searching for an author but being unable to find it, grisha at first is…irritated by her constant movement and how he keeps seeing her wander around. it’s a library ! peace and quiet during examination times ! he ends up actually helping her trying to find that author, at first it’s out of frustration, he wants to get rid of her presence and finally be at peace with his quiet surroundings and studies, but whilst they’re searching, dina kind of… talks a lot in the softest voice. they bond together, grisha kind of softening up to her personality and when they finally find the book she’s looking for, he’s quite sad that their time together has ended.

they obviously reunite and somehow end up creating a romance, at first it’s kind of lowkey because they don’t want it getting caught up in the media and affecting her father’s position for senator (?) , but then dina pleads her case to her father, insisting that the two get married at once ! their love is strong and nothing will stop them.

i would have to say they would have had zeke in their early twenties, i know it’s nineteen officially but… grisha becoming a doctor at nineteen in modern feels kind of unrealistic. it was an unexpected pregnancy actually, grisha was kind of startled at first, how would it affect his career ? he couldn’t juggle that sort of responsibility whilst still studying. they would have honestly asked for help from the fritz family.

the pressure to satisfy the high expectations of the fritz family kind of pressured grisha as a father too. they weren’t fond of grisha at first, he was a mere med student when they met him, he didn’t have much of a name, so i would assume zeke would have been constantly pressured by his father to excel in everything and anything. he wanted him to be the 𝗴𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗸𝗶𝗱. that’s where the verbal abuse comes in (modern wise), because no matter how much zeke tries, grisha isn’t satisfied enough.

when dina falls ill, the fritz family would have expected grisha to help her. it would be around the time of his beginning post-graduate years (intern !) and being her husband and all, they kind of expected him to be the one to help her. only he doesn’t succeed, neither does the fancy doctor whom they brought in and dina’s father blames grisha intensely for this. it motivates grisha to have to pick up and head off elsewhere, relocating because his life is at stake, he is seen as an enemy to the fritz family for costing them their beloved daughter.

zeke is around seven years old when he loses dina.

𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗟𝗔 & 𝗚𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗔

grisha has now completely relocated, far away from where the fritz family can get their hands on him. he’s in deep stress about the loss of his wife and the target on his back, it kind of plays into his mistreatment towards zeke, he isn’t exactly there for him, he’s strict on him, constantly ordering him to grow out of that ‘ weak boy ’ attitude that he’s got ( this is how grisha sees it ).

during this time, grisha manages to actually begin on his career. his failure to help dina encourages him to try harder and achieve the very best in his work field, so here, he forms a name and a reputation for himself.

grisha and keith shadis actually reunite here. i’d like to think they were good friends back in university, but they split paths eventually and one night, they go out for drinks whilst catching up and this is where keith introduces him to carla.

honestly, carla would be an aspiring singer ! she’s gorgeous, her voice is… captivating, a real beauty. she does gigs here and there at pubs and bars where she can, but is a regular at one of them where keith and her meet.

a little love thing for keith and carla : keith was a huge fan. he was infatuated by her the moment he saw her and heard her voice. every gig she has, he attends and he always brings in a white rose to congratulate her for a great show. i’d like to think they have some sort of friendship, though i’m not sure why, but it’s there and his feelings for her are intense, except he never actually admits it. one day, keith stumbles upon. sobbing carla, heartbroken by her previous lover and of course, keith comforts her. he has a soft spot for her, so he’d do anything to see that beautiful smile. she appreciates it, his company too, and in the heat of the moment, they share a kiss. except, that’s all it is. a kiss. nothing more or less. and while keith is devastated at the plain outcome, he does nothing and simply keeps his feelings to himself.

back to carla and grisha !! he too thought she was beautiful, but he merely saw her as the astonishing woman with the voice of crystal, beautiful and soft, fragile. they didn’t meet again until she appeared as his patient.

she presented with the same illness dina had and as an act of… redemption, he tries his absolute hardest to save her, to do what he couldn’t do for dina.

i’d like to think they shared… soft moments together whilst carla was recovering under grisha’s care. everytime he entered her room to check up on her during morning rounds, she would greet him with a weak smile, “there’s my favourite debby downer”.

they don’t meet again for a while after she is let go from his care and finally recovered, but grisha is pleased to know that he was able to finally save someone from the illness that consumed his first love. he felt connected to dina through carla as a patient and actually cries when she is able to walk again and leave the hospital doors.

one day, grisha sees carla again late at night. he’s returning home from a late evening at work, she’s in an iconic coat, i kind of like to think it’s either white or a navy blue even ? it’s fancy. he’s so surprised to see her again, but relieved when he makes note of how healthy she looks. flushed cheeks from the winter’s effects, a warm smile, eyes burning with lively energy. she’s beautiful under the light of the street lamp above. they a sort of… small talk standing in front of one another. he checks up on her politely, and she kind of laughs it off and tells him that they’re friends now, to not be so formal. she actually invites him to dinner, but grisha is hesitant at first, she was his patient. only carla insists, she is no longer his patient and she would like to treat him as a thank you , this kind of begins their little romantic connection.

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗚𝗘𝗥 𝗙𝗔𝗠𝗜𝗟𝗬 !

i think at first, zeke is somehow weary of carla’s presence. i hc him as ten-years-old when carla and grisha are married. he’s upset that his mother has been replaced so soon, but doesn’t show it through his attitude. instead, he’s polite and respectful to carla, knowing that his father would be gravely disappointed in him if he were to act out otherwise, but he isn’t cheery and he’s quiet.

it would possibly drive him to spend more time with tom ksaver who would actually be a retired baseball player who has become a math teacher back in zeke’s high-school. thus their bond begins through tom’s notice of zeke’s good pitching skills and the two spend quite a lot of time together while zeke kind of avoids being at him with carla alone while grisha is away at work for the day.

when zeke finds out about carla’s pregnancy, he’s surprised ! i honestly can’t figure out eren and zeke’s age difference but i’d assume it would be around ten / eleven years in my modern timeline. he’s still shocked ! he’s never even thought of becoming a big brother and now that the opportunity presents, he is… nervous. cautious. afraid of replacement just like his mother was even but he hides this.

carla kind of senses this, so she encourages zeke to partake in brotherly activities when eren is born. such as watching over him while she goes to do something or takes a nap, feeding him when he is a baby, holding him, taking him out to play together. zeke is old but he somehow warms up to the idea of having eren around.

i can see eren one day asking why zeke’s hair is blonde when grisha and carla are both brunettes and it kind of reminds grisha and zeke of dina… but they’re unsure how to break it to a little kid.

grisha certainly isn’t happy when he discovers that zeke wants to pursue a baseball player as a career after tom ksaver and he’s kind of strict and bitter around the idea. this is why zeke ends up falling into an accounting major later on during his college days because he excelled best in maths (thanks to ksaver being his favourite teacher) and he also needed a backup career should his baseball one fail to succeed.

carla however encourages this decision and interest of zeke and actually tries to accompany him to baseball games as a ‘step-mother and step-son’ outing ! he appreciates it, at first it’s awkward but zeke kind of warms up to her company and carla enjoys listening to zeke go off about his favourite players.

she even manages to get him a jersey with his name on it (do they even wear jerseys? the uniforms man) for his birthday !

i honestly feel like carla would have passed away when eren is around ten years old himself, maybe even a little older because we don’t have titans here infiltrating walls and shit. but i honestly see it at the hands of the fritz family. dina’s father is still bitter for his daughter’s fate which he believes was signed by her marriage to grisha, he’s filled with revenge and when he finally finds out about grisha’s whereabouts now that he’s become the doctor of the hour, he is eager to take his revenge. it gets a little dramatic here but, someone being sent to kill grisha, only the bullet hits carla and that’s why she dies. or even that they purposely wanted to kill carla as a state of deep vengeance, and they do so in front of eren, which kind of places him in the whole blame as well.

grisha is absolutely devastated to lose another one of his loves. he blames himself and his actions for her death, both of their deaths and it pulls him into a great depression in which he struggles to pull himself out of.

zeke too is devastated. he honestly enjoyed carla’s company, he had finally become accustomed to carla’s motherly care towards him and now that he has to revisit the stages of grief for yet another person in his life, the loss is traumatising.

we all know how eren feels. it depends who was around when carla passed away. zeke kind of has to take care of eren after that, tend to him while grisha is busy hiding away in his study and grieving his way through the liquor cabinet.

#eren jeager #carla jaeger #eren jaeger #eren yeager #grisha yeager #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #modern!aot #modern attack on titan #modern eren yeager #dina fritz #keith shadis #carla x grisha #grisha x dina #zeke yeager #modern zeke yeager

[bookwyrminspiration]

everblaze, foxfire, linh?

Ed! Hello! I hope you are doing well!

everblaze: Your proudest achievement

oof that is a difficult one. I've done a lot of things that could probably categorized as a really cool achievement but I just expect exellency of myself so I downplay it. So I'll just list a few things I've done instead, maybe figure something else out along the way!

I finished all high school credits of math before I entered 10th grade (meaning I was done with all four years before the second year started), I'm ranked #1 in my class if we're going off weighted GPA, I got and am on track to get multiple associates degrees (2 year degrees) before graduating high school, and I tested into the gifted program in 1st grade (a year before testing usually starts) and was in the 99th percentile in all categories. Those are all school achievements hmm. Oh! the wings au!! I am very proud of that story and how far it's come, so that's definitely up there.

I don't really celebrate achievements (you know that thing where you set your expectations so unrealistically high that you loose sense of what is actually something to be proud of?) so I don't know what I'm proud of, but I think these are things that are generally pretty cool!!

foxfire: Your favorite school subject

I think it comes as no surprise that I was and am an avid English enjoyer. English classes just made sense, you know? Stories and writing and characters feel natural, and the way English classes encourage you to think critically is super fun for me. It does help that it's a subject I'm good at and that I've been actively exposed to literature my entire life. And that that exposure gave me a good understanding of grammar and how to write, so essays are pretty easy. But because I perform well in the classes and liked the subject, my English teachers have always liked me. My favorite class this year was my english class last fall, and I'm thrilled that I'll get to have that teacher again next year (though not for English). And I'll get to have this other teacher for English a second time next year!!! I love the teachers and the subject, so it's very high on my list

Though I will say that history was always fun as well, though I don't know why. Maybe because it was an easier class, as it's as the general education level compared to the all the other harder classes I was taking. I think history classes are more relaxed I guess, and that was nice. Another good one is foreign languages though, and those aren't always easy. Something about communication is fascinating. That's more than one though so I'll stop there.

Linh Song: The element you vibe with

If we're going with the traditional four elements, I think fire? I'm just thinking about this in terms of avatar so unsure how accurate that is. Something about the steady, reckless abandon of fire and how consuming it is. It's both comforting and provides warmth and brings people together (like campfires and hearths), and destructive and uncontrollable and furious. The determination associated with it alongside the risk of going to far and getting consumed matches my experiences with how I push myself and am reckless with myself, but how much I'm capable of when I do so. It's a delicate and sometimes unwise balance, but it's hard to let go of.

If we're going with kotlc elements, perhaps shadowflux. How it's unknown and rough and difficult to control, how it changes things. The way it's neither good nor bad kinda reminds me of my tendency to approach things motivated almost entirely by logic, trying to figure out how they work without acknowledging the good or bad of it. The potential for impartiality. I do also just like darkness though, and find comfort in it which makes it more appealing.

unsurprisingly, my responses are very long...oops?

#in other news I am getting. so close. to the ends of midterms. #each of my classes chose a different week for them so it has been going on for like a month now #but my last required one is on monday #and the option one (which I plan to do) is due on the 9th #the end is in sight #but like i've been doing midterms since halfway through february #hnng #ask game #quil's queries #commonghost

[ezrastokes]

[ CODY CHRISTIAN, HE/HIM, CISMALE ] —  [ EZRA STOKES ]  is a child of [ HEPHAESTUS ] with the power of  [ TECHNOKINESIS ] .  they were born in [ 1995 ] and have been in nemean lion since  [ 2010 ] .  with the change, they [ HAVE GRADUATED FROM ] the [ TECHNOLOGY ] role which makes sense since they’re usually [ FIRING POTTERY IN THE KILN AND BREWING A THIRD CUP OF COFFEE ] .  if you’d like to meet them try the [ MOON ]  building .  —  kati / she & her / est / 18+

links: stats / pinterest .

background

most of ezra’s early years were spent not fitting in and for most of that time, he didn’t know why. he didn’t understand why his father seemed to hate him so much, why his younger brother, caleb, seemed to get all of the attention. ezra chalked it up to just not being quite good enough, maybe because he wasn’t into sports the way caleb was, coming home with paint on his shirt instead of grass stains. 

for a while, ezra tried to fit in, went out for baseball to try and garner his father’s approval, but it was never really him. over time, he began to isolate himself instead, because it was easier to be on his own than face rejection and disapproval.

his mom was loving, but only behind closed doors. it always seemed like she was scared to show her affection for ezra in front of his father, like she felt GUILTY about loving him, about caring about him. she’d sneak into his room at night and read him stories or they��d spend all day together when his father was out of town. “ why does dad hate me so much ? ” he’d ask, and his mother would smile sadly and say, “ i’ll explain more when you’re older. ” 

ezra started developing his powers when he was about twelve years old. his mother had hoped it would never happen. it started small, realizing he could do things like make the toaster pop up without touching it or turn on the television with what seemed to be sheer willpower. his parents started noticing this too. he overheard them talking about it one night, fighting. ezra didn’t know what it meant, but over time, he’d listen at the top of the stairwell as the arguments got more and more heated, resulting in broken glass. caleb would sit with him sometimes. “ what are they always fighting about lately ? ” ezra would ask. “ you, ” the dreaded answer, but he’d already known. he just needed to hear someone say it. “ it’s because you’re a freak. ” 

anxious during a test at school, ezra set the printer going so hard that it started smoking and set the fire alarm off. to most people, it was nice to get out of the test, but ezra went home demanding answers. “ just tell me what i am, please ! ” rising frustration, appliances in the house whirring to life. ezra was getting more powerful, it was not just a PHASE that he could outgrow. his parents had to tell him the truth. 

his mother sit down and told him about an AFFAIR she had once, with the god hephaestus. he had been able to forgive her for it, but his father had never been able to get over the living manifestation of her disloyalty, the obvious misfit in the family that stuck out and didn’t belong. every day, ezra seemed less and less like he could be his father’s son. everything seemed to click into place for ezra, but it didn’t make him feel any better to be the product of circumstances he couldn’t control ; things would have been easier if he’d been born normal like caleb. 

his mother expressed concern for the way his powers were growing and that modern society might not be the place for him. she’d been told if such powers ever developed, that there was a place that he could go. so, at age fifteen he packed this things and began training at nemean lion. 

ezra naturally assimilated into the technology track with his powers, it seemed to make the most sense for him. in terms of helping heroes, he is most comfortable beneath the hood of a car, developing advanced transportation technology and essentially providing heroes with the best possible support. he also built his own motorcycle and car from scratch, they’re named thelma and louise respectively, his pride and joys. ezra is  a quiet person but get him talking about his hobbies / geeking out and you’ve hit the sweet spot. 

recently graduated and working, though he feels like he’s in no position to mentor the newbies…he’ll try. he would’ve been happy to be a student forever, but due to nl’s new status, he felt the need to rush his graduation and work a little harder so that they’d have the tech help they need for the heroes on the field fighting monsters and such. 

personality

PERSISTENT. essentially, when ezra sets his mind on something, he will accomplish it. in some ways, he can be pretty one-track minded when it comes to things, like he’ll start a task in the garage or at the kiln and he won’t speak to anyone for days until it’s done. balance ? he doesn’t know her. but achieving his goals ? yes, king. sometimes i think ezra believes that people are to be measured on accomplishments and his value only exists in terms of what he can do for others. however, you can definitely count on him to get a job done. 

PRACTICAL. ezra is a pretty realistic person, not the type to get caught up in a daydream or set an unrealistic expectation for himself. granted, he knows he can accomplish a lot, but he would never expect more of himself than what is tangible. he’s definitely not a naive person and is more inclined to believe actions over words every time. 

INDEPENDENT. ezra is the sort of person who has always felt like he’s had to fend for himself and is pretty mature. he’s good at taking care of himself and has never felt like he NEEDS other – not that anyone’s really need him. he’s very self-sufficient as a person basically and doesn’t rely on others to get things done. you’ll literally never feel like ezra’s a mooch, but he would let others mooch off him tbh. 

PESSMISTIC. as a result of that practicality, he can come off as rather negative in conversation or in ideals. essentially, ezra can be a real downer to be around sometimes because he will always anticipate the worst case scenario ! he’ll tell you he’s just being prepared though. 

SENSITIVE. although he comes off as tough or even unapproachable sometimes, this is actually because he’s EASILY hurt. he puts on a front like a badass but seriously he is a sensitive baby and if you say something that rubs him the wrong way he will legit never forget it. can literally hold a grudge for 8092390482 years like if you cross him slightly he will bring it up until you die. 

headcanons

if he’s not working with vehicles, he’s making pottery. he has a wheel in his room and is really passionate about art and ceramics. so, when he’s not working, he’s probably firing something.

yes, he has an etsy store <3 

has a little black cat named soot that is genuinely his best friend

has a natural affinity toward all things fire and smoke, developing the nasty habit of smoking cigarettes – american spirits, too, because he has no class. however, since he started dating his current girlfriend, he’s pretty much quit smoking to make her happy – and like, to be more kissable.

genuinely, his girlfriend cecilia baum ( y’all know her ? ) has been a super positive influence in his life because he used to drink, smoke, and isolate himself a lot more before getting to know her but honestly the act of developing a crush and trying to impress her all the time got him into better habits and her caring about him has made him care a bit about himself more too.

granted, it’s not JUST cece. making better friends and meeting people that care about him has been a positive influence on him overall

don’t ask me too much about cece, strud and i are mid-plotting but they are dating. 

you’d probably think like mechanic, artist, he must be super messy? however, ezra is really meticulous and organized, i would say he’s always been really mature and independent. he has his shit together, but he’s also fueled by a ridiculous amount of coffee in order to do so. 

though he does often smell like gasoline from working in the garage so much, though he personally loves that. 

really likes thrifting? like browsing thrift stores for hours and finding weird shit or interesting art pieces. he’ll treat thrift stores like museums, could spend hours walking around, but he’ll also spend hours walking around museums. 

wanted connections

best friends, bros, etc !! i’m looking for the people he really vibes with in a number of ways, his squad, his fam, the wholesome shit. the scott to his stiles, the schmidt to his nick, all of these things. 

but i would especially love to have like his DAY ONE, i will simply go crazy go stupid for a best friend connection and i feel like that person who supported him from the start and made him feel less alone on his first days at NL prob means the fucking world to him.

like, someone he’s protective of? maybe a little sister type connection, essentially someone that’s probably softer and more naive and he feels like he has to look out for them and keep them safe and such. 

someone to test out his vehicles and inventions. ezra is always tinkering away in the garage and he comes up with cool stuff for the heroes to use out when they’re saving the world, it would be nice if he had someone who was always down to literally come through in the middle of the night and be the elastigirl to his edna mode and all.

someone that he really clashes with. give me enemies for god’s sake, or anything, i feel like especially when he first arrived at NL he was a bit rough around the edges, hard to get to know. ezra definitely comes off as grumpy and standoffish around people he’s not super comfortable with and he’s pretty introverted, so they might have gotten a bad impression of him. 

or honestly if you play a char that’s kind of ? stuck up ? full of themselves ? that would really rub him the wrong way. tho he’s probably just jealous bc he lacks that confidence like damn. 

an almost? like a case of bad timing where they were hitting it off or maybe there could have been something between them but he started dating cece instead. maybe your character read into it more than it was and felt really hurt by it. OR he told them he didn’t want a relationship/do relationships and then started dating cece right quick like that’s gotta hurt. 

someone who is good w money. help him manage the finances of his etsy store and how to run a business because he doesn’t even know how to properly price his own goods, probably undersells himself. gimme the business mind to his art mind. 

drinking buddies! sitting around w a good glass of scotch talking about life after a hard day. ezra doesn’t drink so much but honestly their work is hard and ppl die so like, a lil something to take the edge off. 

roommates? is that a thing here? he is in moon building.

naturally also down to vibe and plot anything, exes, family members, enemies, besties, all the things, this is just off the top of my head !!! 

#nlintro #* ☕⠀ / ⠀ 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀𝘿 𝙐𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙍 ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ❪ ⠀ intro. ⠀ ❫ #one down .. !

[kentthewolf]

How To Rebrand YOURESELF, YOUR BUSINESS & EVERYTHING around YOU!

Who doesn’t love a good transformation story?

Someone who went from 0 to 100?

A Cinderella make-over?

A revolting little caterpillar who crawls along in life until one day he figures out how to arise a butterfly and daze the world? Take that you haters!

However, for the greater part of us, our transformations are a little less dramatic. These life transformations are what we call — self development.

That awkward inclination you get when the life (or business) you've so carefully made for yourself begins to feel… not exactly right.

From the start, it resembles a tingle you can't exactly scratch — it’s irritating, vague, won't-disappear from your conscious mind and you don’t know what to DO. Then that same feeling gets stronger and louder; that now you have to DO SOMETHING about it.

So you start to ponder on life. The habits you’ve accustomed to. At times even asking yourself, Is it possible for me to do all of this another way? opens up an entire universe of potential outcomes.

You come to the realization that you’ve gotten too comfortable, life was passing you by and got messy fast. This causes you to tumble down and hide in a deep dark hole full of regrets. Then as you start minimizing inessentials, maximizing things that bring joy in your life and arranging how you want your future to be. You begin to play with the possibilities and recapture your purpose in life once again.

You reach the alarming conclusion that you are unquestionably in more control of your life (and your business) than what you could’ve ever imagined.

Here’s a guide of 11 ways you can get back on track:

1. Get the simple things right.

To be successful, your attention to detail must be unwavering. So you start with the little things, like making your bed and cleaning the house. If simple tasks like these cannot be completed, not only do you pay the price for it when you get home from work tired, but also shows your diligence for the harder tasks. 

The lesson: If you can't get the simple things right, you can't expect to successfully tackle more daunting tasks.

2. Set both realistic and unrealistic goals.

Successful people are relentless goal setters. They break down larger milestones into smaller, more achievable tasks. For example, one of the most unrealistic goals a SEAL candidate can set is completing Hell Week. You don't sleep for a week. You run countless miles with boats, logs, and backpacks. You swim dozens of miles in the frigid ocean. You run the obstacle course daily and do more pushups and pull-ups than you can count. All while battling second-stage hypothermia, sores, and often fractures. Some students quit just minutes into Hell Week. You can't allow yourself to imagine what the end will look like. So you make--and achieve--one small goal at a time and pray for the sun to come up the next day. 

The lesson: A series of near-term realistic goals will help you get closer to your big audacious ones.

3. Work hard.

This one seems obvious, but many people underestimate the level of effort it takes to be successful and achieve aggressive goals. It astonishes me that some people show up to life changing goals and put no real time or effort into preparation. 

The lesson: If you don't work hard preparing for potential success, you won't change that behavior when things get really tough.

4. Get others to work with you.

When setting goals and pursuing success, you must sometimes lead and get others to work with you. You can't do it all alone. The minute you realize that you don’t know everything and need help along the way, the better off you will be.

5. Don't make excuses.

Successful people don't make excuses for failure or shortcomings. They acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses and seek feedback from trusted advisers. The longer you sit around making excuses, the further you will drift from the possibility of achieving your goals.

6. Don't underestimate others.

Pick a handful of random people, with overly confident and timid personalities —  place them in a daunting situation. Usually the overly confident are the first to go. Underestimating people, whether peers or competitors, is one of the worst things you can do. People who go far in life measure others by qualities such as integrity and strength of heart. Empower those around you, and you will be surprised by the outcome.

7. Be willing to fail.

When entering this phase of my life the odds are not in your favor. If you don’t try, you would never forgive yourself. You would rather try and fail than be the individual who says, "I was thinking about trying that." You simply can't look at life through a lens of fear. If you take a calculated risk and fail, at the very least you have a valuable learning experience. Get back up. Dust off. And never, ever, be out of the fight.

8. Embrace the repercussions of your actions.

On your path to success, you will make mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and turn the consequences into something positive.

9. Don't back down.

My favorite passage used by Navy SEALS reads: "I will never quit. I persevere and thrive on adversity. My Nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down, I will get back up, every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight." Enough said.

10. Laugh when you want to cry.

Staying positive seems like an obvious trait for successful people, but it's easier said than done. Your character is defined by what you do when things get tough. The person who finds the strength to laugh during a complicated situation is the type that usually takes control of any challenge no matter the sacrifice. When things get rough and are out of your control, don't forget to laugh.

11. Make sacrifices.

Success comes with sacrifice. Let selfish ways fall by the wayside, and know that you can't have your cake and eat it, too. The most successful people in the world have made significant sacrifices along the way. Give up comfort, and the discomfort only increases the further you go. But you get used to it, because you know what you are doing is worth it.

The path to success is paved with seemingly insurmountable obstacles, but you can't lose heart. Stay strong, be humble, and lean on others for support when necessary.

#personal development #rebrand #growth #podcast #garyvee

[anditjustmadeherkind]

The Self-Preservation 5: Isolation and Hoarding

Average self-preservation 5s attempt to gain independence and separation by reducing their needs. They are highly conscious of energy expenditures, considering what activities and pursuits they will take on, and questioning whether they have sufficient internal resources to meet them. If not, they will drop the activity. They conserve their energy and resources to avoid needing others too much, and take as little from the environment as possible. They can be very private and protective of their home and work space.

These are the true loners of the Enneagram. They love solitude and avoid social contact. They feel easily overwhelmed by people, especially in group settings. Although they can be friendly and talkative, they are slow to engage with others and often feel drained by social interactions. They then need time in their home space to recharge their batteries. They can be extremely resentful of having expectations placed on them. Often they will find ways to minimize their needs so that they can live on less money, thus avoiding interference with their independence and privacy. They are also the most emotionally detached of the 5s. While they can be warm with friends and intimates, they more generally tend to be emotionally dry and have great difficulty expressing their feelings to others.

In the unhealthy range, these 5s can become eccentric shut-ins, going to great lengths to avoid social contact. Isolation leads to disordered thinking and delusional ideas. They may exhibit paranoid tendencies, especially with the 6 wing. (x)

xxxx

The Self Preservation 9: The Comfort Seeker

The combination of the passion of laziness and the dominant instinct for self-preservation in these 9s results in a personality subtype called “Appetite.” The deeper motivation of this subtype is finding comfort in the world through satisfying their physical needs. This personality finds satisfaction in activities such as eating, reading, playing games, watching television, sleeping, or even working (if work is a comfortable thing to do).

Average self-preservation 9s are pleasant and easygoing and don’t ask much from life. They prefer simple pleasures that are readily available—eating at the nearest fast food restaurant, watching a favorite rerun on television, or “zoning out” in a comfy chair. They are usually not ambitious, although they can be quite talented. They deal with anxiety by getting involved in busywork—puttering and routines—and may use small tasks to avoid dealing with bigger projects. They become increasingly attracted to minor rewards as compensation for not being able to pursue real desires—but always with some repressed underlining anxiety about not attending to their real needs.

The “inertia” of the 9 shows up most clearly in this variant. Apathy and self-neglect can cause them to have difficulty mobilizing themselves to obtain what they really want or to take care of their genuine self-preservation needs. They can use food and drink to suppress feelings of anxiety or anger and often possess large appetites and a tendency toward addiction. They do not want their pleasant moods to be disturbed by other sand often resist others simply by not responding to them, remaining stubbornly silent.

Unhealthy self-preservation 9s fall into deep apathy about their lives and can become fatigued and ineffectual. They become the chronic couch potato, emotionally shut down and slowly wasting their health, relationships, and possibilities. Addictions are common. (x)

xxx

The Self-Preservation 3: Security

Average self-preservation 3s feel they must constantly work for security and stability (like 6s) and build up a base of material well-being (like 8s). Unlike 6s, security for them comes from money, assets, and a stable home, not from loyalty to a company, ideology, or a person. These 3s strive for efficiency, streamlining their lives as much as possible, seeking to maximize the energy they can put into achieving their goals.

They attempt to impress people not with sex appeal or social status, but with their stability and material well-being. They are are also detail-oriented (like 1s), keeping track of all aspects of their particular job or enterprise. While willing to take on responsibility, make sacrifices, and work long hours, these 3s are motivated by the possibility of advancement. They look for tangible rewards for work well-done: rises, promotions, and positive reviews.

They can become excessively focused on their careers. Other aspects of their lives tend to become secondary due to work, and they may neglect their health and relationships due to unrealistic schedules. They are unable to easily relax and may even spend vacation time contemplating projects or “doing homework.” In the lower average levels of development, these 3s become increasingly anxious whenever they are not working and may have difficulty maintaining intimate relationships. Convince that the material basis of their security could be lost at any time, they believe they must constantly keep swimming or sink. Stopping their highly stressful work habits feels like courting disaster. Downtime can feel like incapacity or illness (“what’s wrong with me? Why aren’t I being more productive?”). For this reason, real illness, whether physical or emotional, can be very threatening because it reduces their efficiency and productivity. A few days off could bring down everything.

In the unhealthy range, these 3s make gargantuan efforts to remain effective, sacrificing relationships and health for job security and money. They become highly prone to burnout and nervous breakdowns. When they are no longer able to function well, they desperately try to cover over any real physical or emotional health problems (“I’m fine”).

It can be hard for a self-preservation 3 to be recognized as a 3. They may be easily confused with 1s or 6s. This 3 looks like a 1 in that the type is rigid, responsible, and self-sufficient. They try to be a model of virtue in the things they do. The can be distinguished from 1 in that they move at a faster pace, pay attention to creating an image (even when they don’t acknowledge it), and conform to a perfect model of how to be as judged by social consensus, not according to internal standards of right and wrong (as 1s do). They differ from 6s in that they are fundamentally image-oriented and work harder in response to insecurity, while 6s find protection in other ways. And while 3s may question their sense of identity, they generally don’t allow their productivity to get slowed down by doubt or questioning. (x)

xxx

#593 #5w6 #me #about me #my tritype #tritype #the thinker

[weightlosesuccess]

How to Overcome Weight Loss Plateaus Like a Pro?

Introduction: Hitting a weight loss plateau can be frustrating, but it doesn't mean your journey ends here. In this comprehensive guide, we'll explore proven strategies to help you overcome weight loss plateaus like a pro. Whether you're experiencing a slowdown in progress or have hit a wall in your weight loss journey, these actionable tips will reignite your motivation and propel you towards success.

Understanding Weight Loss Plateaus

Feeling stuck with your weight loss efforts? Here's why plateaus occur and how to push past them. Breaking Down Plateaus Are you stuck at a weight loss plateau, wondering why the scale won't budge? Plateaus are a natural part of the weight loss journey, often occurring when your body adjusts to your current diet and exercise routine. As you lose weight, your metabolism may slow down, making it harder to continue shedding pounds. However, understanding the science behind plateaus is the first step towards overcoming them.

Revisiting Your Goals

When you hit a plateau, it's essential to reassess your goals and make necessary adjustments. Setting Realistic Expectations Are your weight loss goals realistic? Sometimes, plateaus occur because we set unrealistic expectations or aim for rapid weight loss. Take a step back and evaluate your goals. Are they achievable within a healthy timeframe? Adjusting your expectations can alleviate frustration and set you up for long-term success.

Revamping Your Diet

Tweaking your diet is key to overcoming plateaus and kickstarting progress. Evaluating Nutritional Intake Are you fueling your body with the right nutrients? Plateaus can signal a need to reassess your dietary choices. Focus on whole, nutrient-dense foods while limiting processed snacks and sugary treats. Increasing your protein intake can also support muscle growth and aid in fat loss.

Ramping Up Exercise Intensity

Shake up your workout routine to break through plateaus and achieve new milestones. Incorporating High-Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) Are you ready to take your workouts to the next level? HIIT is a powerful tool for blasting through plateaus and revving up your metabolism. Incorporate short bursts of intense exercise followed by brief rest periods to maximize calorie burn and improve cardiovascular fitness.

Prioritizing Recovery

Don't overlook the importance of rest and recovery in your weight loss journey. Getting Quality Sleep Are you getting enough restorative sleep each night? Poor sleep can sabotage your weight loss efforts by disrupting hormone levels and increasing cravings for unhealthy foods. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep per night to support your body's recovery and optimize fat loss.

Staying Consistent

Consistency is key when it comes to overcoming weight loss plateaus and achieving long-term success. Tracking Progress Are you keeping track of your progress along the way? Monitoring your food intake, exercise habits, and measurements can provide valuable insights into your journey. Celebrate small victories and stay committed to your goals, even when progress seems slow.

How to Overcome Weight Loss Plateaus Like a Pro?

Ready to break through your weight loss plateau like a pro? Here's your game plan: - Revisit Your Goals: Set realistic expectations and adjust your goals as needed. - Revamp Your Diet: Focus on whole, nutrient-dense foods and reassess your nutritional intake. - Ramp Up Exercise Intensity: Incorporate HIIT workouts to maximize calorie burn and boost metabolism. - Prioritize Recovery: Get quality sleep and allow your body time to rest and recover. - Stay Consistent: Track your progress and stay committed to your goals for long-term success.

FAQs

How long do weight loss plateaus typically last? Weight loss plateaus can vary in duration, but they often last anywhere from a few days to several weeks. By implementing targeted strategies, you can shorten the duration of plateaus and get back on track more quickly. Can stress cause weight loss plateaus? Yes, stress can contribute to weight loss plateaus by increasing cortisol levels, which may lead to stubborn belly fat. Incorporating stress-reducing activities such as yoga, meditation, or deep breathing exercises can help mitigate its effects on weight loss. Is it normal to experience fluctuations in weight during a plateau? Yes, it's normal to experience fluctuations in weight, even during a plateau. Factors such as water retention, hormonal fluctuations, and changes in muscle mass can impact the number on the scale. Focus on non-scale victories and how you feel overall rather than solely relying on weight as a measure of progress. Should I increase or decrease my calorie intake during a plateau? Depending on your individual needs and goals, adjusting your calorie intake may help break through a plateau. Some people find success by slightly decreasing calories to create a calorie deficit, while others may benefit from increasing calories to support metabolism and energy levels. Experiment with different approaches to see what works best for you. What role does hydration play in overcoming weight loss plateaus? Hydration is essential for overall health and can also impact weight loss plateaus. Drinking an adequate amount of water helps regulate appetite, supports digestion, and may prevent overeating. Aim to drink at least 8-10 glasses of water per day, and consider hydrating foods such as fruits and vegetables to stay properly hydrated. Is it beneficial to seek professional guidance when dealing with a weight loss plateau? Yes, seeking guidance from a qualified healthcare professional or certified nutritionist can provide personalized recommendations tailored to your specific needs. They can help identify potential roadblocks, create a customized plan, and offer support and accountability as you work towards overcoming your weight loss plateau. Conclusion: Don't let a weight loss plateau derail your progress. With the right strategies and mindset, you can overcome obstacles and continue moving towards your goals. By reassessing your approach, staying consistent, and seeking support when needed, you'll emerge stronger and more resilient on your weight loss journey. Learn more from weightlosesuccess Read the full article

[madmadmilk]

Return to Sender | Tom Holland x Reader

Pairing: Tom Holland x Yours Truly (You)

Summary: A letter made out of love and loyalty. It’s your choice to press post, send, delete, or save to drafts. The only thing we’ll never know is if he decides to read it or not.

Warnings: cursing, (lowkey highkey) angst, and a fair amount of delusion

Word Count: 1.8K over the character count

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How to read: First Person POV, so read this as yourself first and foremost. Then read this as his good friend, read this as someone who saw him yesterday, read this as someone you haven’t see in a long time, read this as someone who has nevermet him, read this as someone who has only known him through the lens of social media... read this as someone who has a lot to say but will never send it.

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Hey Thomas,

I must have written this over a thousand times, and I know it’ll never be just right.I just feel weird calling you Tom over this absurdly long, formal message, and Thomas kinda just looked better to me. And, blah, I know this could never change your mind, or make you see me any differently, but it doesn’t hurt to try, right?

Let’s get the hard part over with.

There’s about three things I’m absolutely positive about. First, you’re amazing. Fucking, brilliant. Second, there’s a part of you–– my wishful thinking, I suppose–– that I know, cares about me or could. And third, hah, I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you.

Yeah, I totally just took that from Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight, but you know what?? I gotta pay homage to how fiction and storytelling has always left a significant impression on me. Fluttery stories of love and hope and strength and cute brunettes–– all leads to you.

And I’m joking and rambling now, I know, but it doesn’t make it mean any less.

I love you.

Truthfully, I don’t even know where thatstarted. Was it when I saw you fight impossible odds during a tsunami as a boy? Or when you trained to spin webs and do back-flips and shit. Did I notice this affection through your first appearance in the MCU? The second, or even the third? Did I realize it when I found your instagram, and finally let myself follow? That time when you mistook your hair gel for toothpaste…? Or when I caught your livestream at the Right Time? When you looked right at me, and I let myself believe?

I don’t think I’ll really ever know whenthis started. I only know what I want and wish to happen now.

Through the videos, posts, movies, interviews and experience, I just… I just feel like you’ve always been there for me. You’ve always been someone I could fall back on–– look back on. I open my phone, and you’re right there. Beneath my fingertips, first in my search bar, bright on my lock screen. You’ve always been.

I look for your voice before I sleep, and I imagine the sights and sounds when I see new pictures of you. All I can do afterwards is wish I were there with you.

That’s all I want.

All I want is to leave an impression on you, to have something that lets you remember me. After that, I can let go and rest forever, if I knew I could mean anything to you.

I draw you, write about you, read about you, dedicate a whole blog to you–– and still wonder if it’s too little or too much.

(Side note: does it weird you out? Seriously, let me know and I’ll halt productions.)

Gah, it’s staggering to think that we are worlds away from one another; that we could meet tomorrow and then never again. Or how often I see your face, and never know how often you see mine––

I don’t let myself think of that most days.

You’ve brought me so much peace and happiness just knowing you.

My view is one-sided and biased and rosy. It’s limited, blurry, and lacking. There’s so much I don’t know about you, so much I wantto know about you.

And that’s what keeps this going.

The hope.

Or some shit.

I wonder if you would tell me if you had a girlfriend, or boyfriend, or someone special. I wonder how that would make me feel, or if that could make these feelings stop…. Hah, but I don’t think that would take anything away from me.

You’ll still be you.

You’ll still be that sticky boy who’s kind and generous and cute and funny and good to his family and friends.

You’ll always be that to me.

Not that I’d refuse to believe that someone else completes you or supports you better than I can, but I’ll always have the warmth you’ve given me. They could love you more than me, be closer to you than me, be better than me, and that’s alright.

Because all I want is for you to be happy.

If you are, then so am I.

And that’s love, I suppose.

It’s something selfless, it’s something that’s kind of like a hobby. You enjoy it and you endure it. You build it, you tear it down. You want to share it, but keep it to yourself. And no matter what happens, you learn and grow from it…

Oof.

I do hope you continue to share these things with me. No real pressure, of course. It’s your life to take control of. You deserve your privacy first and foremost, and time away from the public and social media. You deserve the time to recharge and reorient yourself after long trips and interviews and work hours–– we all do.

I just hope you decide to continue to share the snippets of life that you do.

It’s a lovely world to be a part of.

I love that you share so much with your family and friends. I love seeing your cute lil dog and snaps of places you call home. I love seeing how you spend your night out, and the sporadic nature of it all. I love that you can’t use instagram stories for shit. And I love that you continue to try anyway.

That’s something I’ve always really liked about you.

You don’t give up when you can’t do something. You’ll post the same thing twice to get it right. You keep your cool and roll with the jokes. You laugh at yourself when appropriate. You stand up for yourself when things go too far. You try your best while we all are watching. You try even harder even when we’re not.

I really respect that.

And I’ve gone so far off track from what I came here to say, I don’t even know if you’ve bothered to read this far. There’s just a few more things left, I promise.

I just need to say that I’m sorry for being a pest. For lurking so far up your ass and hitting the bottoms of your feeds so much. For applying more pressure than you need. For reading fakey gossip and making bold assumptions. For forgetting that you’re human just like me.

I’ve made these mistakes, and I don’t know how to make them right. I’m still out here learning too––

And what I’ve realized is that to move forward, I have to  step away.

I see your posts and fawn, and then I have to turn and leave. Suppress the urges to tease and make fun, to shout profanities, to post about what I wish I could do to you or you to me.

A well wish is all I can give you.

“Have a nice day,” and “Do your best,” is so fucking vanilla but it’s what I want you to hear from me. Something soft, loving and easy.

Something that will undoubtedly go unnoticed.

And I’m fine with that (most days).

You don’t have to acknowledge me, you don’t have to recognize me.

Because I want you, but I don’t.

I don’t know what would happen if thisbecame real. If you suddenly become realto me in my real life. Real, real, real. It’s seriously unimaginable.

Not because I’m me or anything.

But because you’re you.

I can picture myself beside you, but I doubt you could with me.

That sounds so pathetic but–– I don’t know!

I’ll never know, unless youtell me. Or I tell you and you tell me. Or we end up in one of those fanfiction slow-burn roommate!AUs. Unrealistic, but romantic.

And this is the point of it all, I guess.

I want to tell you, “hey! I love you!” because I have to know what could happen next. Not that I’m expecting anything grandiose. I’m just hoping for a chance that you’ll listen to me and accept the feelings I’m giving you.

I just want you to hear me, so I can get rid of it.

So here, take it! Here it is! Do with my heart what you will!

I’m sick of hiding behind a screen, but too scared to show you my face.

Just take this pretty moment, remember me like this, and let me know what you think in 5-7 business days.

I’ll be waiting like I always have. Never too high on my toes or too relaxed in my bed. Leave it all to chance–– Can you believe I don’thave notifications set up for you?

You don’t own me!

And now that I’ve managed to give you a hard time figuring out what to do with my feelings, I’ll move on to the last part.

Happy Birthday, Tom Holland.

I’m so happy to have seen you grow on-screen and off. I’m incredibly proud of your achievements, and baffled by your impact. Keep fucking growing, dude! This is your time to thrive. All with your bare fucking hands. Fucking wild.

I can’t even compare myself to you––

But anyway, I hope you’ve had a nice day or night or whatever the hell. Please get some good rest tonight and tomorrow night, and all the nights onward. Take time to take care of yourself and brush your teeth.

And thank you for being your being here for me.

I hope you can take my words and turn it into strength and support, no matter how you deem to view it. It’s only to remind you that someone cares, after all.

Yeah, so before I dig myself a deeper hole, I’ll end this letter here. A reply would mean the world to me, and even if you don’t, I wouldn’t hold it against you.

You’re a busy guy, I know.

Thanks, Tom.

You have all my love.

Sincerely,

Yours Truly

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A/N: and that’s it!  really raw and kinda exposing who i am lol. You can make your own assumptions of what happened next. What perspective did you read this in? Did you actually send the letter? Did he reply? (is the reply the title of this fic?) Hahaha, I don’t really know what this is. I just felt like writing a love letter. Please let me know what you think! Did it work? Did it make sense? Thanks for reading :)

Please like, comment, reblog, subscribe and turn on bell notifications!! Haha

Peace out ✌🏼

Madmadmilk

#idk lol this is an experiment #but lemme know what you think! #tom holland #tom holland fic #tom holland imagine #tom holland blurb #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #tom holland x reader #tom holland reader #tom holland x you #tom holland you #tom holland fics #tom holland imagines #tom holland blurbs #tom holland story #tom holland writing #mamadthirst #madsweet #madmadmilk #return to sender

[ketoanalystpro]

Would You Like to Know Exactly What to Eat to Lose Fat and Get Healthy Without Giving Up Your Favorite Foods or Starving Yourself?

If you're serious about achieving permanent fat loss and a complete health transformation while eating your favorite foods every meal…

I invite you to read this page.

Here’s The Deal:

In my opinion, the nutrition industry is hopelessly broken. Instead of helping people improve their health and overall physical appearance, the world is filled with myths, scams, and flat-out lies.

I mean, it’s obvious the current dietary guidelines don’t work. Just look at the stats. 71.6% of American adults aged 20 and above are overweight, of which more than half are obese![1]

Now, if you’re one of the millions of people who follow all the nutrition rules outlined by health and fitness “gurus” but still carry excess fat, it is not your fault!

The Truth Is:

No matter how genetically “doomed” you may think you are, and no matter how frustrated you may feel after trying and discarding many diets, you absolutely can have the lean and alluring body of your dreams.

You see, getting into fantastic shape isn't nearly as cruel as nutrition and fitness “gurus” want you to believe. In fact, if you avoid the four most common and catastrophic diet mistakes, shaping your dream figure is actually a simple process.

Do You Make These Four Common Diet Mistakes That Sabotage Your Health and Stall Fat Loss?

Mistake #1 ( Not being in a calorie deficit )

According to some “experts,” losing weight and keeping it off is all about controlling the types of food you eat.

They say particular foods are "fattening" because they pause fat burning and cause a hormonal environment that leads to weight gain... while other foods "balance" the system and stimulate fat loss.

While that’s partially true, it doesn't give you the full picture. The reason is that if you want to lower the number on your scale, the most important thing you must do is enter a caloric deficit.

It’s simple. If you consume more calories than you burn, you’ll gain weight. And if you consume fewer calories than you burn, you’ll lose weight. That’s a scientific fact.[2]

Looking for proof? Well, dozens of studies show the vitality of calorie balance.[3-19] One of these is a case study by Mark Haub, a professor of human nutrition at Kansas State University.[20]

He carried excess pounds and, knowing the importance of calorie balance, decided to do an experiment. For two months, he only ate foods like Twinkies, Oreos, Dorito, and protein shakes while maintaining a daily energy deficit of 800 calories.

The result? In just two months, he lost 27 pounds and reduced his body fat from 33.4% to 24.9%.

Now, I don't recommend you follow such a diet, but it illustrates my point. If you want to lose fat, you must be in a calorie deficit.

Mistake #2 ( Severe calorie restriction that gives you the metabolism of a 90-year-old lady )

If an energy deficit of 250 calories a day will get you lean, a 1,000-calorie deficit will give you the results four times as fast, right?

Wrong! Many people make this mistake, and I used to do it too before I knew any better.

The truth is, severe calorie deficits screw up your physiology. That's why almost all low-calorie dieters regain the lost pounds when they stop the program... plus, most often gain some more on top of that.

You see, your body doesn't know you're trying to get ripped for the beach. Instead, because you're starving yourself, it thinks you're stranded with no food.

As a result, your body’s metabolism will plummet to prevent you from losing weight. This means that as soon as you come off your diet, your body will store as much food as possible as fat to prepare itself for the next starvation.

That’s why it’s essential to eat according to a calorie target fine-tuned for your body, your situation, and your goals.

Mistake #3 ( Thinking all calories are created equal )

Thus far, we've looked at calories. And while calories are a crucial piece of the fat loss puzzle, they're in no way the only thing that matters. You see, when most people say they want to lose weight, they actually strive to improve their health and look better.

The thing is, if you want to accomplish such feats, you shouldn’t strive for weight loss. Instead, set your sights on fat loss. That's because losing weight doesn't necessarily improve health and appearance, but losing fat does.

Now, when it comes to fat loss, calories remain a crucial element. But what is just as crucial is your macro intake. In other words, your consumption of protein, carbs, and fat is vital. How you set up your macros has a profound effect on how your body will respond to the meals you eat.

For example, if you consume too many carbs, it’ll be near impossible to lose fat even if you maintain a calorie deficit. That’s because carbs spike insulin, a hormone that blunts fat loss in two main ways.

One of these is that elevated insulin levels block the release of fat from your fat cells.[21-23] And if your cells can't release fat, your body can never burn off the excess.

Second, elevated insulin levels cause the storage of energy found in your bloodstream to morph into body fat cells.[23-25] This means the energy won’t get burned off by tissues like muscle but instead snakes its way around to places like your hips and abs.

That’s why researchers call insulin the "fat storage hormone," and that’s why carb-rich diets make it nearly impossible to lose fat.

Insulin is but one example. Optimizing your macros is crucial for many more reasons, so in a minute I’ll show you how to set up your macros to triple fat loss.

The best part? The method I’ll show you in a minute from now is effortless to follow and never leaves you hungry. In fact, this eating style is so satiating and easy to follow that you would probably forget you were on a diet if you weren’t losing fat so fast.

Mistake #4 (Following an unrealistic, overly restrictive diet )

Willpower works like a battery – you only have so much of it until it runs out. That’s why very restrictive diets deplete your willpower, increase your cravings, and lead to binging – the exact opposite of what you want when trying to build your dream body.[26-27]

I've seen it countless times before... a guy or gal who is dedicated to losing weight and getting healthy. To kick things off, they start a diet that only allows food like tilapia, asparagus, and chicken. After all, that’s what the fitness magazines recommend.

While the results are great in the beginning and the dieter loyally brings Tupperware boxes packed with "healthy" meals wherever they go, their willpower eventually runs out and that diet gets tossed out the window.

Just keep in mind that dieting itself is already hard. Don't make it even harder for yourself by enforcing all kinds of unnecessary restrictions. Otherwise, you’ll likely take on a “screw it” mentally after a few weeks or even days, wake up in a sea of Twinkie wrappers and be back to square one.

The Solution to These Diet Blunders:

A Keto Meal Plan Customized to Your Body, Situation, Goals, and Taste Buds

If you want to take all the guesswork out of your diet and follow a guaranteed-to-work plan, then you'll love my brand-new custom keto meal plan service.

For the last few years, I’ve united leading nutritionists, personal trainers, and chefs to develop custom keto meal plans that are effective, convenient, cost-effective, and (most importantly) enjoyable.

And when I say "custom" meal plan, I mean it. These aren’t your run-of-the-mill, “here are some recipes pulled together from random blogs” meal plans many nutrition “gurus” sell for way too much money.

Instead, we tailor your entire meal plan to your own unique situation, needs, goals, and dietary preferences to ensure you experience optimal progress and follow a diet you enjoy.

In other words, your days of suffering on ineffective and overly-restrictive diets are finally over. It's time to start working based on a method that's best for you.

What Truly Sets These Meal Plans Apart is that They’re Based on the Keto Diet

Unless you were lost in the Himalayas for the last few years, I bet you've heard of the keto diet. In fact, you probably have a friend or family member who has transformed their body like magic with this diet.

But in case you didn’t know or just forgot, here’s a quick recap. A keto diet is an eating style where you consume almost no carbs, moderate amounts of protein, and high amounts of dietary fat. So, you’ll be eating tasty high-fat meals like ribeye steak with roasted garlic and butter.

“Why would you do that?” you may wonder. Well, a very low carb intake puts you into a state called “ketosis.” You see, under regular circumstances, your body relies for the most part on glucose (the stored form of carb).

When you minimize your carb intake, however, there's not enough glucose available for your body to fuel all its functions. And because some tissues like your brain cannot use fat for fuel, your body needs an alternative energy source to stay alive.

That’s where ketones come in. Ketones are chemicals produced in your liver when glucose is scarce. Various tissues like your brain can use these ketones for fuel when glucose is absent.[28] That's an excellent outcome because, otherwise, you would die.

Now, when your body uses primarily ketones and fatty acids for fuel, you're in a state called “ketosis.” That’s invaluable because...

Ketosis Gives You an “Unfair” Advantage on Your Fat Loss Goals

You’ll Get Your Custom Keto Meal Plan for Less Than 5% of What You Would Normally Pay

Having a personalized nutrition plan created just for you can get REALLY expensive REALLY fast.

If you go to a nutritionist, you'll pay around $100 for your initial meeting and an average of $400 per month for modifications and check-ins. So, for an 8-week nutrition plan, expect to pay around $900.

And after spending all that money, it's very likely you'll end up with the same outcome as the rest of their clients: devastated with your results and clueless about what to do next.

I know how it feels because I've been there myself... forking over thousands of dollars for no results. And I know how shattering it is to spend all that time and money and not even end up close to your ultimate goal.

I don’t want you to suffer from such an experience, and that’s why I'm offering this service. My goal is to help people transform their health and figure without going through the unnecessary struggles that often come with it.

That’s why I offer this service not for $900. In fact, the price is not even 5% of that because if you act today, you’ll get instant access for just $37.

I know, this is much less than what you would expect from such a service. But I want to make my custom meal plans available for everyone. And I want to help one million men and women around the world take charge of their health and figure. That’s why I don’t want price to be an issue.

But that’s not all. Besides this low price, I also back you with a robust and straightforward 100% satisfaction guarantee.

Try Your Custom Meal Plan Risk-Free and Judge for Yourself. If You’re Not Satisfied, You’ll Get All Your Money Back

#keto #food #lowcarb #ketodiet #ketolifestyle #ketolife #weightloss #ketosis #ketogenic #ketomeals #foodporn #ketodinner #lowcarbhighfat #sugarfree #health #health & fitness #weightlosstransformation #ketofood

[remys-lucky-franc]

Reward - A Queen of Thieves Fic:  Leon x MC (Daisy)

Word Count: ~1600

Rating:  To be safe I'll say Adult as this is a little bit naughty.  It's not like terribly graphic or explicit or anything - but err on the side of caution I guess!  

This was an idea I had based on a drabble prompt I'd written for another fandom and I thought it could be switched up a bit and might be fun for these two -  and I think it works :)   This picks up after the cliff-hanger ending of Leon's 3rd season <3

Daisy fixed an encouraging smile on her face.  

After Leon's hospital appointment a couple of weeks ago, he had been cleared to get back to 'normal'.  After the shooting he'd a few days under observation before being sent home to heal from the surgery removing the bullet that had torn through his torso and punctured his lung.  He'd been very lucky really, considering the horrifying possibilities of what could have happened that night...  Those didn't bear thinking about.  

Leon was feeling much better than he did in the immediate aftermath, but unfortunately after six weeks of prescribed rest and healing, without being allowed to lift anything heavier than a kettle, Leon's normal, incredible strength, fitness and muscular physique had taken a  hit.  Before he'd been discharged from hospital, their Physiotherapist had visited him to show him a range of breathing exercises to help strengthen his lung and chest again and he'd performed them religiously before he was allowed to do any real physical exercise again.  He'd been delighted when he was given the okay, but in the space of that two weeks, his mood had taken a dip.  The problem was, initially even going for a walk around the block was enough to wind him:  Leon had spent his whole adult life in tip-top physical condition and he was finding this really hard.  Right now he was pretty much as low as Daisy had ever seen him.  Even though he'd adhered to the physio's instructions to the letter, progress towards getting back to normal was painfully slow for Leon:  Daisy knew he was expecting wonders overnight - and after what happened that night in his bedroom?  Well, she was scared that he was being completely unrealistic...

As had become their routine, Daisy sat at the desk sketching, keeping Leon company while he went through the motions.  He was in the middle of the bedroom floor bare-chested in a pair of dark sweatpants.  She'd half-watched him work his way through a bunch of calf raises and squats using free weights, and Daisy had to admit, the large dumbbells he was holding?  She wouldn't be able to lift them uninjured!  Before his injury, Leon always enjoyed exercising.  Daisy would always smile when she watched him work out - the sheen of sweat on his skin, the determined glint in his eye as he pushed himself harder and harder, consistently making gains.  But since that night exercise seemed to dull his mood and dampen his enthusiasm.  Every day he struggled to get through the routine.  Every day she watched his veins bulge, his jaw clench and his muscles shudder as he dug deep to get a fraction of the results he'd have achieved easily a few months earlier...  And every day Daisy could see him get more demotivated because it wasn't getting any easier.  

As he sat down the weights between sets of shoulder presses, Leon let out a sigh that he sounded like he'd been holding in for a lifetime.  Daisy bit her lip as she looked across at him,

"You doing ok, Leon?"  

He shook his head, a hand raking through his dark hair, voice totally dejected,

"Daisy, I don't know if I'm ever going to get back to normal.  These weights are a third of what I was lifting before...  This is...  It hurts...  And...  I-"

His hands covered his face as he stopped talking.  Daisy stayed silent for a few moments as she watched on, concerned and unsure whether he was ready to cry or scream in frustration.  

By the time Leon uncovered his eyes, Daisy was standing right in front of him.  He smiled softly down at her, but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.  Daisy reached up, stroking his cheek tenderly,

"Shoulder presses are the worst one, right?"  

Leon nodded as he took her small hand in his, pressing a kiss to the back of it before he stooped to pick the dumbbells up for a second set,

"These, and press ups."  

Daisy moved to the side, giving him a little space, watching as he cracked his neck from side to side and set his stance in preparation.  He inhaled deeply and then exhaled as he steadily pressed the dumbbells overheard, then back to down to shoulder height, then repeated the motion, a rhythmic 2:2 count.  When he got to the eighth rep, Daisy could see the vein in his neck begin to raise and the intake of his breath become ragged.  The exertion was written across Leon's his face, sweat starting to bead as he gritted his teeth and pushed through the pain to twelve reps.  As he sat the weights down and mopped his forehead, Daisy wondered how he was going to manage a third set, then a round of press ups...

Her heart sank as she watched him struggle through that final set before sinking to the ground: this was the same man who got stabbed protecting his friends in the Underbelly of Paris and shrugged it off as though it had been nothing more than a scratch.

'There must be something I can do to make this easier for him?  I hate seeing him like this...'

Leon got himself into the press-up position, cranking out ten laboured presses before coming to a grinding halt, huffing out a frustrated breath,

"If I could see some progress, maybe this wouldn't feel like a complete waste of time.  I just feel like I'm putting in all this effort, and getting no reward."

A lightbulb went off inside Daisy's brain as he spoke, a sly grin spreading across her face, eyebrow arching at him,

"Twenty press ups?"

Leon eyed his girl with suspicion,

"Yeah.  Why?"

Daisy laughed,

"So ten more.  Keep going.  Don't mind me..."

Leon tore his eyes away from her, still suspicious, but saying nothing.  He was sore.  His muscles felt like lead and his chest burned.  He could barely focus on the exercise he was suppose to be doing because of the fatigue his body was feeling.  The next ten would undoubtedly be slower than the first ten.  He got back in position as Daisy tossed an earring in front of him, mouthing,

"Ten."

He paused, glancing at her as she tapped her foot with mock impatience,

"Come on.  Nine?"

Leon pushed his body upwards, muscles tensing, eyes squeezed shut, trying to block out the ache.  As he lowered himself back down, a 'clank' in front of him causing his eyes to fly open.  Daisy's other earring.  She let out a mini cheer and clapped her hands together.  Leon narrowed his eyes at his pretty fiancée as she winked at him mischievously,

"Next rep, Kwan, you've got this, come on..."

Leon braced himself as he moved into the third rep, concentrating a little less on the pain of the movement as he tried to work out what the hell Daisy was playing at.  Completing the movement, he watched Daisy saunter across to the window before pulling the band from her dark hair, shaking it like a mane as she tossed the band beside her earrings, murmuring,

"Eight...  Great job...  Keep going..."  

Leon took less recovery time before lifting into another press up.  The strain on his muscles clear as he breathed hard, eyes flitting to look back at Daisy giggling as she propped herself against the desk, pulling off one of her turquoise Converse and walking wonkily to close the space between them, dropping it into the ever-growing bundle of Leon's winnings...   A smile spread across Leon's face as he locked eyes with her, moving into the fifth rep without hesitation.

Daisy clapped her hands as she tossed her second sneaker into the pile,

"You're doing so well, Leon!"  

Watching him steel himself for the sixth round...  A sock was discarded...  Round seven, the matching sock...  On the eighth press up, Daisy stood in front of Leon as she untied the bow of her pink floral wrap dress, letting it slip silently from her shoulders onto the ground, feeling her face flush as Leon's dark eyes undressed her completely.  

Daisy raised her eyebrow at Leon as he continued to stare at her standing there in her cute blue bra and panties,  

"Number nine, don't give up now..."

She flipped her dark wavy hair behind her shoulders as she grinned down at her man,

"I know you can do this!"

Leon clenched his jaw as he raised an eyebrow and pushed hard through the penultimate rep.  Daisy smirked as she watched him:  he was sweating hard, and she was pretty sure from the way he'd just looked at her, it wasn't solely down to the exertion of the physical therapy...  Finishing the exercise, she giggled as Leon leaned up on his elbows with a devilish smirk on his face, pupils blown wide as they trailed from her eyes downward, settling on her curves.  She stepped closer, fingers trembling as she fiddled with the clasp on her bra.  She removed it slowly, teasing him as he groaned at the sight, making her giggle and toss the garment directly into his face.  

Leon stifled a laugh, shaking his head as he knocked the lacy bra that smelled of Daisy's perfume aside, digging deep, muttering,

"Last one."

His arms shook from the exertion as Leon moved through the last motion, listening to Daisy 'woop' and encourage him.  As he completed it, a peal of exhilarated laughter rose from Leon, breathing hard and rolling onto his back, propping himself on his elbow as he grinned up at Daisy.  She giggled as she twirled her hips a few times, teasing him before shimmying out of her panties, tossing them behind her and climbing into his lap as she purred,

"Now what was that about no rewards for your hard work?"  

#lovestruck fic #queen of thieves fic #leon x mc #leon kwan

[celestines]

                have   you   seen   IRINA   MOON   around   campus   ?   i   hear   they’re   a   FOURTH   YEAR   ,   WINTER   witch   with   a   specialty   in   ENCHANTMENTS   .   i   almost   never   see   them   without   their   ERMINE   .   if   they   ever   want   to   be   a   ENCHANTER   someday   they   should   ease   up   on   being   SUPERCILIOUS   &   MANIPULATIVE   .   at   least   you   can   say   they’re   CAPTIVATING   &   SEDULOUS   ,    too   .

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     QUICK  STATS  !

full  name  :   irina   sophia   moon   .

nickname(s)  :   rina   ,   ice   princess   .    

zodiac  :   capricorn   sun   ,   scorpio   moon   (  click   !  )

sexuality  :   bisexual   .

alignment   :   lawful   neutral   .

pinterest   :   (   tba !   )  

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     BACKSTORY  !  

hailing   from   a   long   line   of   winter   witches   &   warlocks   ,    irina   was   born   into   a   family   that   seemed   to   fit   every   stereotype   of   their   coven   :   cold   ,    calculating   ,   and   striving   for   more   power   than   they   had   .   her   parents   were   well   off   ,   and   although   they   were   not    elite   ,   they   were   prominent   enough   to   exist   side   by   side   that   world   anyway   .   almost   important   ,    but    not   important   enough   .   almost   at   the   top   ,    but   not   quite   there   .   while   most   people   might   find   it   ridiculous   anyone   could   have   so   much   and   still   be   unsatisfied   ,   it   never   stopped   irina’s   parents   from   their   desperate   ambitions   .   

she   would   be   her   family’s   only   daughter   ,    as   well   as   the   last   born   moon   child   .   irina   was   aware   of   the   differences   in   how   she   was   being   raised   versus   the   way   her   brothers   were   being   raised   right   away   .   while   her   father   payed   close   attention   to   his   sons   ,    irina   was   cast   off   to   the   side   into   the   awaiting   embrace   of   her   mother   ,    but   she   wouldn’t   find   affection   there   either   .   for   her   brothers   ,    freedom   was   a   luxury   ,   and   while   they   were   raised   studious   it   was   obvious   to   irina   that   they   had   it   easier   than   her   .   when   they’d   come   home   late   and   tipsy   after   a   long   night   of   what   they   always   referred   to   as   “   networking   ”   (   which   a   young   irina   quickly   discovered   meant   partying   )   she’d   still   be   awake   at   the   dining   table   triple   checking   her   homework   .   

while   she   took   to   books   easy   ,    what   she   felt   challenged   by   were   the   lessons   her   mother   put   her   through   .   she   raised   irina   to   believe   a   woman   must   be   smart   and   worldly   ,   and   so   irina  learned   to   play   the   violin   .   her   mother   ,   who   always   had   a   certain   fascination   obsession   with   the   winter   high   warlock   ,   truly   believed   in   the   importance   of   upholding   tradition   .   she   was   willing   to   go   to   any   length   to   preserve   the   coven   ,   even   further   than   irina’s   own   father   would   ,   and   she’d    use   emotional   manipulation   to   get   her   there   .   while   the   woman   thought   her   sons   would   have   no   trouble   rising   the   ranks   ,   she   worried   about   irina   ,    often   pressuring   the   young   girl    to   be   wise   and   marry   well   .  

in   the   years   her   older   brothers   were   away   at   the   academy   of   arcane   arts   irina   would   learn   her    most   valuable   lesson   of   all   .   underneath   every   rule   and   tradition   there   is   hypocrisy   ,   and   nothing   is   ever   truly   what   it   appears   to   be   .   she’d   believed   in   her   parents   and   the   way   she’d   been   raised   ,   wholeheartedly   believed   and   endured   it   all   ,   never   questioning   them   once   until   the   night   she   catches   her   father   locking   lips   with   a   summer   witch   in   what   they   must   have   assumed   was   a   private   corner   of   a   high   profile   charity   event   .   she   never   spoke   a   word   about   it   to   anyone   ,   but   things   were   never   the   same   after   that   .   

every   time   her   parents   scoffed   at   the   other   covens   ,   she   thought   about   that   party   .    every   time   her   mother   tried   to   control   her   friendships   or   relationships   ,   she   thought   about   the   irony   of   her   father’s   infidelity   .   while   her   older   brothers   went   on   to   become   a   successful   duelist   and   council   officer   respectfully   ,   irina   was   counting   down   the   days   til   she   finally   got   to   escape   to   the   academy   .  her   life   so   far   had   been   reminiscent   of   a   porcelain   doll’s   ,   eighteen   years   trying   not   to   fall   right   off   the   highest   shelf   .   she’d   become   exactly   who   her   parent’s   needed   her   to   be   ,   something   irina   once   wanted   more   than   anything   in   the   whole   world   ,   but   all   she   felt   was   empty   .  

 when   she   arrived   at   arcane   as   a   freshman   ,   she   already   had   huge   footsteps   to   fill   .   her   brothers   ,   who   had   excelled   not   only   academically   but   also   socially   ,   had   achieved   just   about   everything   —   except   becoming   head   of   winter   house   .   one   of   them   came   close   their   3rd   year   making   it   as   prefect   ,   only   to   lose   head   of   house   the   next   year   .   irina   quickly   became   obsessed   with   the   idea   of   making   it   to   house   head   and   she   knew   it   would   take   more   than   being  smart   or   proficient   in   magic   to   get   her   there   ,    but   she   also   knew   if   anyone   could   do   it   it   was   her   .   she’d   been   raised   to   chase   powerful   positions   ,   to   study   ,   to   be   charming   ,   and   to   find   the   right   connections   .   like   most   in   the   winter   house   her   ability   to   read   people   was   something   she   had   mastered   ,   and ultimately   it’s   how   she   finally   got   her   wish   her   fourth  year   at   the   academy   when   she   got   the   house   leadership   position   .                                          

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     PERSONALITY  +  TIDBITS  !

in   true   capricorn   nature   ,   irina   is   very   ambitious   .   while   she   used   to   strive   to   be   the   best   at   everything   she   does   to   get   a   sliver   of   her   parent’s   approval   ,   she’s   recently   made   the   discovery   it’s   much   more   satisfying   for   her   to   work   hard   and   prove   to   herself   she   can   be   so   much   more   than   just   a   pawn   in   whatever   game   the   winter   coven   seems   to   be   playing   .   she’s   a   perfectionist   that’s   constantly   on   the   borderline   of   obsession   ,   which   means   while   she   has   high  standards   for   everyone   around  her   ,    the   most  unrealistic   expectations   are   the   ones   she   sets   for  herself   .   

she   is   ridiculously   charming   for   someone   who   ,   at   first   glance   ,   appears   to   be   icy   and   distant   .   pleasant   at   all   times   ,   but   especially   in   times   of   conflict   ,    which   is   exactly   what   makes   her   a   good   house   leader   .   has   the   uncanny   ability   to   read   people   disturbingly   well   ,   which   she   does   use   to   her   advantage   (   even   when   she   doesn’t   mean   to   </3   )   .   irina   has   a   habit   of   making   people   feel   important   when   she   talks   to   them   ,   like   there’s   not   a   single  person   in   the   world   she’d   rather   be   in   conversation   with   (   exactly   like   this   quote   )   .   plays   a   lot   on   the   ambition  and   the   ego   of   winter  witches   when   leading   the   house   and   the   shiny   promise  of   being   the   best   because   she's   never   known   anything   else   /:   surprisingly   though   ,   she’s   not   as   strict   as   the   other   house   heads   probably   believe   her   to   be   ,   something   only   winter   witches   and   warlocks   would   know   (   and   keep   to   themselves   if   they're   smart   )   .   

while   most   of   her   relationships   ,   per   request   of   her   mother   ,   are   more   business   transactions   than   they   are   anything   based   on   real   emotional   vulnerability   ,    irina   has   made   exceptions   .   even   with   people   she   should   only   care   about   because   of   status   she’s   finding   it   harder   and   harder   to   act   like   her   feelings   and   vulnerable   side   don’t   exist   .   she’s   terrified   to   share   those   parts   of   herself   with   just   anyone   ,   only   trusting   a   select   few    to   really   know   her   ,    the   rest   of   the   world   only   seeing   a   carefully   crafted   projection   of   herself   .   

honestly   ...   she’s   kinda   on   the   verge   of   losing   it   JSDBWJBDJW   very   nina   in   black   swan   there’s   plenty   of   female   histeria  to   go  around   !   but   she's   trying   her   best   to   hold   it   all   together   and   stay   responsible   while  coping   with   the   fact   that   her   entire   childhood   was   some   bullshit   and   with   the   fact   that   while   she   might   actually   have   zero   interest   in   upholding   traditions   spread   by   hypocritical   witches   and   warlocks   in   positions   of   power   ,    playing   the   game   all   the   way   to   the   top   is   the   only   way   she   sees  herself   ever   having   true   freedom   ):         

she’s   rarely   cruel   on   purpose   .   most   of   the   time   when   she   hurts   someone   it’s   because   they   became   collateral   while   she's   trying   to   achieve   a   certain   goal   .   definitely   wants   to   be   genuinely   nice   to   people   as   opposed   to   fake   politician   nice   ,   she   just   kinda   feels   like   a   fraud   doing   it   ,   like   it’s   impossible  for   her   to   actually   be   genuine   when   she’s   pretending   everyday   of   her   life   .

has   a   super   complicated   relationship   with   house   rivalries   since   she’s   questioning   everything   her   parents   taught   her   .   summer   house   makes   it   hard   for   her   to   change   her   opinions  ,   however   ,   when   they’re   constantly   getting   on   her   nerves   even   if   they   don’t   mean   to   </3   generally   speaking   she’s   on   the   best   terms   and   at   her   friendliest   with   winter  and  autumn   house   ,    and   is   much   more   likely   to   trust   and   befriend   people   from   those   houses   ,    but   she   will   never   outright   discriminate   against   someone   from   spring   or   summer   house   (   unless   they’ve  earned   it   )   .  

she   specializes   in   enchantments   !   and   she’s   really   good   at   it   !   she’d   never   admit   it   ,   but   her   dream   job   isn’t  actually   being   an   enchanter   ,    but   a   professional   violinist   .   she’s   in   orchestra   club   as   a   coping  mechanism   for   the   fact   that   she’ll   never  have   her   dream   ):

her   familiar   is   an   ermine   named   jasper   ,   who   is   way   more   high  strung   than   irina   could   ever   dream   of   being   .   looks   very   cute   and   approachable   but   he   is   deadly   ...   winter   house   has   probably   learned   to   beware   when  he’s   roaming   the   halls   unless   irina   is   by   his   side   😔   

has   a   huge   phobia   of   being   in   love   ,   partly   because   she   was   raised   to   believe   it   didn’t   exist   ,   partly   because   she   wants   it   so   bad   she’s   afraid   of   what   will   happen   if   she   ever   gets   it   .   irina   also   avoids   real   relationships   in   general   and   often   uses   the   married   to   her   studies   excuse   to   avoid   getting   into   one   because   she   knows   her   parents   would   want   to   manipulate   it   /:   any   relationship   she   has   is   casual   OR   it’s   fake   and   she   will   100%   ruin   anything   that   seems   like   it’s   going   some   place  real   

has   a    wilder   side   she   saves   for   special   occasions   ,    like   more   important   parties   .   values   her   control   so   it’s   rare   to   see   irina   inebriated   ,   although   there   are   famous   (   albeit   few   )   tales   of   all   her   scandalous   actions   while   under   the   influence   .

she   just   really  needs   a   hug   🥺   maybe   a   lobotomy   too   if   she   ever   wants   to   be   happy   for  real   😳                 

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     WANTED  CONNECTIONS  !  (  all  open  to  all  genders  )

people   she’s   befriended   because   she   wants   something   from   them   !   maybe   it’s   status   ,   or   information   ,   or   something   else   entirely   .   maybe   they’re   using   her   at   the   same   time   ,   or   maybe   they   have   no   idea   .   i   think   it   would   also   be   interesting   to   have   a   friendship   that   started   out   as   fake   but   morphed   into   something   real   and  irina   feels   super   guilty   about   it   ):   

winter   witches   or   warlocks   who   get   in   trouble   a   lot   (   like   break   curfew   ,   etc   .   )    that   she   has   to   deal   with   .   maybe   she   ends   up   being   an   unintentional   mom   friend   to   them   ,   or   maybe   they   get   on   her   nerves   and   she   makes   sure   they   know   it   .   it   would   be   kinda   sexy   to   have   a   winter   witch   or   warlock   that   starts   breaking   rules   on   purpose   just   to   mess   with   irina   or   spend   time   with   her    

hookups  !   yes   ,   meaningless   (   unless   ?   )   sex   with   people   is   how   she   copes   with   all   the   stress   she’s   under    😔   .    i’d   love   some   past   hookups   that   ended   for   whatever   reason   (   like   maybe   one   of   them   or   both   of   them   was   starting   to   catch   feelings   so   irina   snuffed   it   out   like   a   candle   or   maybe   they   ended   it   )   ,   hookups   that   were   huge   mistakes   and   she’s   doing   her   best   to   forget   they   even   happened   (   mayhaps   with   a   summer   witch   or   warlock   )   ,   and   current   hookups   !    there’s   always   room   to   make   it   messy   ,    or   to   keep   it   fun   and   casual   🥺  

a   confidant   ,   someone   who   really   truly   knows   her   and   is   there   for   her   in   ways   most   people   could   never   be   ,   and   in   return   she’s   there   for   them   .    it   would   be   interesting   if   they   don’t   actually   hang   out   and   do   normal   friend   things   ,    so   it’s   a   little   weird   and   awkward   when   they   do   despite   knowing   so   much   about   each   other   .

a   summer   witch   or   wizard   who   could   be   the   child   of   the   summer   witch   her   father   is   having   an   affair   with   !    bonus   points   if   they   don’t   know   it    yet   so   there   can   be   future   drama   &   extra   bonus   points   if   somehow   them   and   irina   end   up   getting   along   despite   all   odds   only   to   have   whatever   blossoming   relationship   ruined   by   the   realization   ...      

younger   witches   or   warlocks   who   look   up   to   her   🥺   she   wants   to   be   an   inspiration   and   she   would   definitely   try   her   best   to   be   a   good   one   .  maybe   even   a   winter   witch   she’s   low   key   training   to   become   house   head   after   she   graduates   !

someone   to   bring   out   her   softer   side   &   show   her   that   it’s   better   for   her   not   to   keep   her   emotions   bottled   up   .   someone   who   inspires   her   to   be   better   and   more   selfless   even   though   she’s   not   selfish   on   purpose   /:   

an   enemy   or   two   !    people   who   actually   get   to   see   her   angry   side   and   her   dirty   not   poised   side   for   whatever   reason   .    

maybe   someone   irina   helps   to   be   more   confident   or   ambitious   .   since   she   was   raised   with   a   me   first   mentality   (   that   she’s   had   to   keep   in   check   as   head  of   winter   house   )    she’s   good   at   helping   people   who  constantly   put   other   people’s   wants   and   needs   before   their   own   . 

perhaps   some   childhood   or   family   friends   that   would   know   irina’s   family   kinda   sucks   ):    maybe   they   were   close   as   kids   and   drifted   apart   as   they   grew   up   ,    but   it’s   weird   and   kinda   sad   because   they   still   know   a   lot   about   each   other   !

a   bad   influence   😈    whether   or   not   they’re   trying   to   get   irina   to   loosen   up   with   malicious   or   not   malicious   intentions   ,    they’re   the   only   one   capable   of   melting   down   her   walls   bit   by   bit   ,   quicker   the   more   she   internalizes   all   her   struggles   .   someone   she   has   real   fun   with   who   puts   a   stop   to   all   her   overthinking   and   gets   her   to   live   in   the  moment   !           

THIS   ONE   IS   EVEN   LONGER   IM   SO   SORRY   😭😭😭   i  have   rambling   bitch   disease   and   it’s   fatal   !    once   again   if   u   wanna   plot   u   can   find   me  on   discord  @ glo lovecore ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172   but   if   discord   isn’t   ur   thing   we   can   100%   plot   through   im’s   ,   i’m   just   gonna   be   slower   to   respond   through   tumblr   i   won’t   lie   🥺   give   this   a   like   and   i’ll   message   u   (   or   u   can   message   me   first   hehe   )   and   tysm   for   reading   this   novel   of   an   intro  ...     

#aa:intro #╰ ♡ . 𝒊 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒊 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒆𝒆 ── ooc !